All Fantasy Everything - Music Festival Lineup (Live w/ Slug from Atmosphere, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: August 15, 2019

It's festival season, family - and who better to draft a music festival lineup than Sean Daley (aka Slug from Atmosphere!) Does Sean rap in this episode? You'll have to listen to find out. This episode was recorded live in Minnesota at The Turf Club.Episode Guest:Sean Michael Daley @atmosphere IG: @atmosphereSponsor: Mack Weldon For 20% off your first order, use promo code ALLFANTASY at checkout.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Coming to you live from the Turf Club in beautiful St. Paul, Minnesota. Full of the fucking All Family. Make some noise, family. Yeah. Yeah. For God's sake. We have had a fucking day, y'all. Sean, he's

not here. We've gotten a huge fight. Big fight. I told him Chislik isn't meat, and he... David took Sean's side. They're both in Sioux Falls right now. They bought a house. They're going to open up a skateboard pizza parlor.

It's just me tonight. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. The carmy is in effect. I feel it. I'm going to sing. I don't know what else to do. I'm going to sing. Ba-ba-da-da-da-da. I bought a 3XL tall tee from Walmart, baby. And wore it on our very first date.

Honey, it was three minutes long, and you ran out while I was singing this song, and now I'm all alone at the Arby's near your house. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And other hits. You know him as

Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. You know him as Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. A lot of those. Give it up for Sean Jordan! A lot of those, doggy. Goddamn.

What up, Turf Club? How we living? Mansions, Benzes, Ends, Dependents, all that shit. Yeah, yeah, the whole nine. I get it. I get it. I didn't have a long day. I just drove from Sioux Falls.

Very scenic drive. I was actually pretty into it. I'll tell you about my long day when we get somebody else out here. Longer. Longer. The day was so long you have to pronounce the G on that word. Usually it's silent. Not now. Not all G's are pronounced. Some are silent.

You know what I mean? Friggin' corduroy hat. That's what's up. Yeah, man. I got a corduroy hat because you gave it to me. Because you bought too many hats one day. Oh, I did. I bought too many hats. We've all been there. When you're leaving a milliner and you're like, oh, no, I've gone crazy at the milliner, you know?

I tried to nickname myself the Rattlesnake one time in Salt Lake City at a party, and nobody was having it. But I just kept telling everybody, no, they call me the Rattlesnake. It's no big deal. And told that amazing story to Ian, and then he just so happened to order too many hats. One of them had a giant rattlesnake on it. And he's like, do story to Ian, and then he just so happened to order too many hats. One of them had a giant

rattlesnake on it. And he's like, do you want this hat? And I go, boy, do I. Here we are. One of my dearest friends from high school tried to nickname himself Ugly Casanova. Which, three problems with that. The first one is you can't give yourself your own nickname. The second, Ugly Casanova was already Isaac Brock's electronic music outfit.

And then the third problem was, Ugly Casanova? You can't call someone Ugly Casanova. And what was the name on that Subway sandwich? Ugly Casanova? Tepid. Tepid response. A lot of Ugly Casanovas in here Limited People so distracted by my Rasheed Wallace t-shirt

That they're not even Well I'm a tie-dye guy these days Yeah he's a tie-dye guy I'm dipping my feet in the tie-dye bathtub What do you guys think? Is it working out? Again, tepid Tepid

It could be categorized as tepid, that response. I'm hopping in. I don't care. This is, yeah, I'm thrilled. This is my favorite area of the whole country. That's true. Always has been, always will be. I will drop in many, many local references

throughout the generation. Hebe. Hebe. Barry Derrison. Barry Derrison. Pizza Luce. Yeah. Malik Sealy. Yeah. R.I.P. R.I.uce. Malik Sealy.

R.I.P. Malik Sealy. Phobia Skate Shop. Anybody? Any OGs out there? There we go. There we go. I'm full of them. I'm saving them.

Kirby Puckett. Kent Herbeck. Ah, Kent Herbeck, yeah. Daunte Culpepper. He's got a U in there. You know how I pronounce it. For God's sake, you know him as the G is silent on Twitter. You know him as coolguyjokes87 on Instagram.

Make some noise for David Bore. Hey! Hey! David, David, David. David, David. on Instagram. Make some noise for David Bore! Ay! Ay! David, David, David. David, David, David. Take the hot corner. Take the hot corner. Take the hot corner. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hot corner! There it is. Sorry for telling you what to do. I didn't love it. I know. How's it going, guys? Thank you so much for coming. Teppin. Teppin, bro. Well, it is broad daylight.

I can see it. It is broad daylight. It is always funny when you're doing a show and you're like, it's daytime. I can see it. Tell that to my liver.

I'm drinking like it's 2 a.m., baby. No, I was very reasonable. I'm at a good... 8 p.m. just getting started, you know. For my birthday, I threw me a surprise. Two chains. Titty boy. I like one chain. I chains. Titty boy.

I like one chain. I find two pretentious. More of a one chain guy? More of a one chain guy. Dude, I like 80 chains. Dude, I'm a local McDonald's franchisee. Like a Jewish Mr. T out here. Wait, who's Jewish? You're Jewish? Oui, oui, oui, oui. 100%

Bar Mitzvah and everything. Damn, I didn't know all that. Hey, we, we, we, we. 100% part of Mitzvah and everything. Damn, I didn't know all that. Two Emmys, dude. Nominated for two Emmys, bro. This motherfucker got nominated for two Emmys the other day. Yeah. bro. This motherfucker got nominated for two Emmys the other day.

And me and Sean have three warrants between us, so also, doing pretty good out here. Two of them are bench warrants, but one's real. Dude, that little slice between Mankato and here, there's just cops everywhere, and I was terrified the whole

time. I drove today. I was just like, not today, not today. Why were you terrified? Were you... Might have a bench warrant from back in the day. Oh, yeah. I just don't go to Oklahoma. What are you going to do to me? I pay taxes now. I also don't go to Oklahoma and I have no warrants there.

You can have mine. You can have some of mine. Yeah, you can have David's. Now, you see a fourth seat up here. Obviously, that is for Elijah the Prophet. Huh? Every show. Every show I'm doing that show.

All tour. Yeah. It's been working the same way. Yeah. Which is pretty good. That's like a seven. I give it a seven. Yeah, pretty good. I think like a seven. I give it a seven. Yeah, pretty good.

I think it's a mid-range jumper. You know our next guest from, I mean, for God's sake, Hail Mary Mallon is one of the projects. You know him from his musical group, Atmosphere. Please give it up for Slug, ladies and gentlemen, at Atmosphere on Twitter. Sean Daly.

Yeah. Yeah, thank you, sir. Playboy. It's rude. It's rude to keep clapping. Feels like a mic- out situation, right? Should I call you Slug or Sean?

Is it Sean or Slug? How does this thing work? Slon? Sean. Sean. Fuck yeah, dude. I'm going to call you Slug. I've been waiting for someone

to say that for 20 years. Keep waiting. Sean, how the hell are you, man? I'm great, man. That's fucking beautiful. Thank you for joining us tonight. It didn't take me five hours to drive here. I mean, it didn't take me five hours either.

I fucking pedaled in the metal playboy. Yo. Did he tell you about the problems they had with the airplane? Oh, man, that shit was bad news. Last night, I'm in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Having sex with a woman. Damn. Can I not say that?

He was having sex with his hand. We got a dumb button. He was getting a French hand job, you know what I'm talking about? Am I not allowed to say that you had sex? I think it's cool. Am I not allowed to say that you had sex? I think it's cool.

I think it's cool that you had sex in New York. I've never had sex with New York, not even with myself. I think that's rad, dude. I think he's right. I think this is fucking awesome. Yeah, man. I like seeing my friends win. I can see Ian being like,

I don't really want to talk about it, but everybody stopped. I was having sex. I wasn't there for it. I just know that it happened because the room smelled like badussy. No, it didn't. It didn't.

It didn't. It didn't. It smelled like the pizza I brought. It was fine. It was so fine. I was in the Lower East Side of Manhattan doing whatever. And a big... A gigantic lightning storm.

He put his leg on the table. A weave got sweat out. That's all I'm saying. You draw your own conclusions, Minneapolis. It was me and Angela Bassett. Yo, if you had sex with Angela Bassett, it would be the best day of my life. That would be the best shit that ever happened to me.

I'd tell my mom if you had sex with Angela, like immediately. If Ian just shows up to Thanksgiving, because I don't have a family in Portland So I go to his Thanksgiving He's like this is my girlfriend Angela Bassett That I brought to Thanksgiving I call my mom I don't care what time it is

Wake up woman I got something to say You remember how you thought this comedy thing Wasn't going to work out Well you know that guy I'm adjacent to He fucked a lady who was in waiting to exhale And guess what she exhaled I think what we do is go to the bar for happy hour drinks to, he fucked a lady who was in waiting to exhale. And guess what? She exhaled. I think what we'd do is go to the bar for happy hour drinks and we'd all call him a

Basset Hound, huh? You know what I mean? Hey. Hey. A massive storm rolls into New York City. Lightning, thunder, torrential downpours, moody clouds, just wet. Booty clouds too. Moody Jews. Meanwhile, while I'm in the Lower East Side, David Borey is in an airplane in Newark,

New Jersey, sitting on the tarmac, waiting to take off to come to the Minneapolis airport. The plane never takes off under the count of the lightning and the thunder. They cancel the flight, and they tell him the soonest they can get him to Minneapolis is Friday. Now, for those of you in the know, today is Thursday. Friday won't happen until after this. He calls both Sean and I in a panic, right?

A heart attack. I'm skating in DJ's driveway, having a fun 37-year-old party. Everybody knows DJ, Sean. Sean's doing Christ's Day on 900s in somebody's driveway. Anyway, I tell David, I'm like, come to my hotel, we'll figure it out. And I'm just... And he is just soaking wet. What the liquid is, you decide.

But he was wet. Hot yoga. Hot yoga. David comes over and we're like, fuck. We're like, oh shit, my flight in the morning is probably going to get canceled because it's coming out of Newark. And we're like, how the fuck do we get to Minneapolis?

Are we going to have to cancel the show? And I'm like, I hate our fans. I want to do it anyway. Because I'm a bit, no, you know I don't mean that way here. So we were like, we have to fucking figure it out. We have to figure it out somehow. We look at flights out of Philadelphia. There's nothing. We look at flights out of DC. We won't go there for political reasons, right? Philadelphia, there's nothing. We look at flights out of D.C., we won't go there for political reasons, right? Well, what have you been... Just a little aside, what have you been calling...

You guys will like this. I think it's pretty funny. I've taken to calling the White House the loony bin. Because of all the goings-on. Political and otherwise, you see. Anyway, we finally find flights out of fucking Boston today at 2 o'clock, and I'm like,

all right, let's get four hours of sleep. Let's wake up at 5. We rented a car in Manhattan. I drove us from Manhattan to Boston this morning. We get to Boston early, have a tasteful breakfast. It was beautiful. Get on an airplane, flew here from Boston, jet blue. Couldn't get first class on account of we're hefty boys.

So me next to two girls who look like they're going to like either a sorority reunion or a bridal shower. Either way, they were lovely. They couldn't have been less upset about how fat I was. David, I don't know how you are. Me next to a couple who seemedemed like they only do hand stuff Yeah You know the vibes A marriage is hard work David

Let me know when you tried it after 20 god damn years What are you Why are you so mad at me I'm not I'm about as excited as I've ever been in my whole life But we knew we couldn't fucking not see you all night So we fucking got here Even though our flights got... My flight got canceled, too, so we're here.

And it's that kind of podcast. That's what kind of podcast it is. You know, that kind of podcast. Sean, how was it for you to get here today? Oh, nice little drive. Oh, no. Yeah, shut up. Oh, there's Sean. There's a couple of us, bro.

I apologize. It took about 15 minutes. Okay, cool. But it was like a tough 15. But it was fucking rough, yeah. See? Yeah. You saw a snake.

Well, you know, I know you had a hard time. Listen, I got fucking kids. Oh, shit. So it's not fucking easy. No. Probably a hard... We're all complaining about our day and you're like... Four. Four fucking easy. No. Probably a harder... We're all complaining about our day and you're like... Four. Four fucking kids.

Count them up. Sean hasn't even had sex four times. I'm not married, David. I haven't had sex once. Dickhead. It's got to be tough with kids because you've got them all to swallow the quaaludes before you leave, right?

You've got to massage the throats. Timing is... I'm just happy You got to massage the throats. Timing, yeah. I'm just happy to be out of the house right now. Give it up for fucking Sean for showing out tonight. Seriously. It's fucking tight. Now, we are gathered here in the beautiful Turf Club in St. Paul, Minnesota, not only to talk about drugging children, but also

to draft a fantasy music festival lineup. Yeah! But give them the, tell them the whole. Living or dead. Yeah, boy. Wait till you see what fucking happens. It's going to be fucking tight. Sean, not Jordan.

You have a music festival yourself, right? You're well acquainted with this. I mean, I wouldn't pin the whole thing on me. I'm going to pin it on you. But yeah, we throw a party over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. Is that the direction? I want to say it's that way. Am I a dipshit? I don't here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. Is that the direction?

I want to say it's that way. Am I a dipshit? Yeah. I don't know. If you go that way long enough, you know, you get there. Stop. I love St. Paul. St. Paul is my favorite city in St. Paul

Damn They say St. Paul's the Minneapolis of St. Paul I hear that That's a I don't know I'm from fucking Beaverton, Oregon I don't know whatever There's a guitar center in Beaverton.

Yeah, fuck yeah, there is. Yeah, absolutely. There's probably like nine of them. No stairway. There's a skate park in Beaverton. You'll saw it. I know there is. I've been there.

You just don't want us to connect. Yeah, I know. Please, go for it, boys. He's fucking frock blocking, which I say frock blocking because I feel after this, we'd become friends. We'd go to Color Me Mine, make a couple mugs, you know because I feel after this we'd become friends. We'd go to Color Me Mine, make a couple mugs, you know what I mean?

Let's say like best friends. Whoa, you said that we were going to mug make. You see how he does me, dude? Sit on the end. We can't make mugs anymore. You're using all the towels. You're using all the towels Now The way we determine the order of the draft

Is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors We shoot none We throw on shoot We throw on shoot Here we go Rock paper scissors shoot That is a gun, Sean. Shit!

You did say we throw on shoot. I wasn't ready for a gun. Much like any time a gun is pulled, I'm going home. Not for me anymore. Yeah, Sean, you win. Nobody's ever tried the gun before.

I fucking respect it. I'm not going to tell you anything. Yeah, I got nothing to say about it. I'm standing behind the three-inch glass. I'm dropping down. And I'm calling my lawyer. Bro, I don't even like this wallet. Like, you have it. I don't even... Money... I'm a socialist. I've been trying to get rid of it, you know what I mean?

Take the fucking money. Please. What will the order of the draft be? You can pick, me? Just straight down the line. Sean Jordan. Ian, Sean, Sean, David. Ian, Sean, Sean, David. But then, also. Oh, shit. He's got a whole thing. You already picked the order of the draft, but I should tell you

it is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? That's a great question. Say you're at the order of the draft, but I should tell you, it is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? That's a great question. Say you're at the Mall of America, right? You're on the fourth floor. You take the elevator all the way up. You get out. You do the fourth floor clockwise.

Do the whole thing. And then you go down. You're on the third floor at the Mall of America. Do the whole floor counterclockwise. Know what I mean? Then you go down to the second floor. You do that whole motherfucker clockwise. Check it out.

Then you go down to the first floor. You do that motherfucker counterclockwise. Then you stop and you be like, why am I doing any of this? There's a roller coaster in this mall. Okay. Then you go to the giant beanbag store and then the peanut butter store and then the hot sauce store and then

all the skate shops and then you go do the giant roller coaster. You know what I mean? No, I don't think that was good. You didn't like that one? No, I don't think he was right. It was. It's back and forth.

Basically. Don't come at me this early, dickhead. Listen, we had a gun at rock, paper, scissors. Anything could happen tonight. If you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. So it's going to go me, rock, paper, scissors. Anything could happen tonight. If you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round.

So it's going to go me, Sean, Sean, David, David, Sean, Sean, Ian, and then the Holy Ghost will pick one, and we'll continue as thus. All right. Well, fuck. Yeah, it's on you, Playboy. Technically, it's a hot corner,

but it's a hotter corner than I like to start off with. So with the first pick in the Fantasy Music Festival lineup, All Fantasy Everything, I have the first pick, and we'll get to it right after this break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language,

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how much you could save that's policygenius.com man we're back did you guys all know that was the bit when you listened to the part? Oh, you got it. Oh, yeah. No, you guys are smart. You guys are cool dudes, man. I sent a little email out to everyone in Minneapolis, St. Paul,

letting them know what the bits are. Chuck Knobloch. Huh? No? Shit, did he do something bad? Strike it from the record. Yeah, we hate Knobloch. How did you not know that? Familia.

You're my guy with skateboard stuff. I get it. Landlocked bodies of water. Hurt near 10,000 of them, from what I hear. With the first pick, in the All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Music Festival lineup, Ian Carmelo, you have the first pick. Oh, thank you, Ian. You look very handsome today.

You do, too. Should we fuck? Later, later. I select, I need a headliner. I need someone who can fucking blow the doors off, put them back on, blow them off again, maybe do a little bit, put in a beaded curtain, rip that down, put another door up,

and then blow those doors off. Sounds like your Wednesday night. Because he was having sex. I mean, cool sex. Don't do that to me. Come on, guys. I like my friend. Where's my first pick?

Da-da-dee. Where's my first pick? I'm taking fucking Queen. Only Queen can close this festival off right. Piece of shit. Only fucking Queen can close this festival off right. Yeah, yeah. That's my fucking closer. They're going on last. I believe it's a fictional band from the movie Bohemian Rhapsody.

I don't know. That was a documentary. It was a small documentary starring a guy with teeth. Their last performance at Live Aid is wildly considered the best live performance of all time. Except for this, obviously.

Other than this. Is that where he takes it out of the Where he I like his mic tech. Oh, yeah. Yeah where he pulls it out of the thing. I try to do that Nobody thinks it's cool It doesn't work with stand-up when you take the mic stand out of the base and then you're just like like nobody They just don't like it Nobody wants to see of there joking about calzones with a ratting crop microphone?

I'll figure it out. It's a long summer. Freddie Mercury could get it going just with vocal warm-ups and not the kind we were doing in the basement. He would just be out there and he'd be like, Ba-op! Ba-op! Ba-op! Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- He would just be out there and he'd be like, Ian, you look pretty good in the chambray shirt. Oh my God, thank you.

A little more Jewish. No, no, say, oh my God, thank you. Oh my God, thank you. Oh my gosh, thank you. Did you say, oh my gosh? I don't know what I said. I blacked out. What happened?

Fucking queen, dude. I don't know. I feel like... No, that's fantastic. I think that's a fantastic pick. I think that, man, that Freddie was showman, boy. Yeah, dude. Plus, Brian May had that, like, his hair's so bad,

he must be good at guitar hair. What's he wearing? Is he wearing, like, a mesh tank top? Oh, Freddie Mercury? Yeah. I feel like it's a mesh catsuit. Oh, shit. With, like, a latex thong underneath.

I worry about catsuits. You don't want his dick and balls hanging out. There's families here. I just said that because you want his dick and balls hanging out There's families here I just said that because you Awed at the message A tepid response You know where it is It's the table situation

I think it's the broad daylight Oh it might be the broad daylight Or it could be the pic that wasn't as good as my first pic As soon as I got there But we're not there yet. We're not there yet. No, Queen's a fucking banger, man. The list. Yeah, Queen's fantastic.

That's your headliner, though. Yeah, yeah. So you're going headliner to opener. I feel like you gotta get your headliner while you can. I don't want anyone else to take Queen. I just feel like they got like fucking it's a music festival. They're not gonna play for three hours. You know what I mean? I just want like eight bangers.

And nobody's got eight bangers like Queen. They, seriously, they're stacked, man. Now I'm looking I'm looking. I'm going to get some bangers over here. What's your favorite Queen song? Ooh, it really goes back and forth. Back and forth.

My favorite is them covering Back and Forth by Aaliyah song. Back and forth. My favorite is them covering Back and Forth by Aaliyah. Which they're going to do. So grand. Yeah, I love the cute queen version of Rough Brothers anthem. Stop.

What the fuck did I agree to? Yeah, dude. Yeah, you're here now. I truthfully can't call it. You're in it now, though. Let's just have a good time, you know? You're out of the house. There's no kids, I don't think.

Sean Jordan, time for your first pick. My first pick is going to be... I'm going to throw my headliner in there. I'm picking Stevie Wonder. My headliner. It's magic. Very classic, good pick.

From what I've heard, you can just feel it when he walks into a room. I've never been... Would you say you could feel it all over? You could feel it all over. Don a room. I've never been on any festivals. Would you say you could feel it all over? You could feel it all over. Don't sing. That's the joke. You probably thought Stevie Wonder was up here. Yeah, Stevie Wonder. I think he'd be fantastic to close this festival. Everybody's in.

Doesn't matter. What's your favorite Stevie Wonder song? Sir Duke. All Day, All Night. Really? Yeah, yeah. You know Sir Duke? Yeah, I want him to play Pastime Paradise. There's, I mean, there's so many. There's Superstitious, there's

fucking Fantastic. No, there's not. There's not Superstitious. Superstition. There you go. Was anyone gonna call me on that except for my good friend Ian? You were just gonna let me do it? I appreciate it so much. You can tell I'm nervous. I get that. So yeah, superstition. There we go.

Yeah, I just think Stevie Wonder would close it out, knock it out of the park. Good late night. Everyone's calming down. No one's gonna be too wild at the end of the night. I like it. I went and saw, Stevie Wonder has like a Christmas concert

that he does in LA every winter. And I was under the impression that it was just gonna be Stevie Wonder the whole time with musical guests who would come out and like duet with him on certain songs. And he came out and did like two songs. And then his daughter and some comedian came out. And they both seemed like hammered as a way to come down from whatever drug they were doing.

Dude, I did too much Special K. I gotta get hammered. We got the show to do. I gotta chill out. And they were like trying to do all these half-baked bits and like buying time. It seemed like Stevie Wonder had like stormed off and left

and they were like, oh, what do we do? And then like Willie Nelson's son came out and played a song and that was cool. What the fuck kind of dick slap operation was this? Sounds like a terrible concert.

Anderson.Paak came out and drummed on one song and then left. It was fucking, the whole thing was fucking weird. And I was there with my girlfriend at the time. And like I was, like I'd been gassing her up for like a month. Like, we're going to go see Stevie Wonder. It's going to be fucking awesome. And the whole time I'm like, ha, ha, ha. What?

What's going on up there? And, like, she was cool about it. But it was a fucking, it was a nightmare. And then he came out and did, like, four more songs to close it. It ended up being okay. But all I'm saying is be careful about which Stevie Wonder concerts you go to. I will say he played Outside Lands when I was living by the park. And yeah, okay,

I didn't buy tickets, but I did get drunk at the bus stop and listen to it. And it was pretty good, dude. It was pretty good on the 38 Geary stop that I was at.

I enjoyed it. They used to have free Wi-Fi at the bus stop back then, too. I was looking at boobs. It was a cool day. Sean, do you know Stevie Wonder's real name?

It's fucked up. His real name is Steveland Judkins. Are you making this shit up? No. So we looked it up. We thought... They thought I was making it up, too. We thought it was...

When we first looked it up, we thought it was Steve-land Judkins, which sounds insane. And then someone's like, no, it's Stev-land. We're like, better than Steve-land, I guess. Steve-land sounds bananas. But yeah, Stev-land Judkins.

I'm just going to stick with Stevie Wonder. Yeah, you have to. You know what Ginuwine's real name is? What? Ginuwine. No, Steve... What do you want to name is? What? Genuine. No. What do you want to name him? His father was Genuine.

Genuine Sanchez, dude. And his father's father was original. Genuine Sanchez. We're going to combine the mother and father's name and name him Genuine. But for real, Genuine's real name is Elgin Lumpkin. He was named after Elgin Baylor, and then his family's name is Lumpkin, unfortunately. Elgin is an underused name. Lumpkin is not. I think it's overused.

So anyways. Damn. He's like a really sexy dude, and even then it would be hard to like fucking date with a name Elgin Lumpkin. Even with how sexy he was. Little girls aren't writing Mrs. Lumpkin in their binders

grown up. Mrs. Brittany Lumpkin. They turned on me because you told them I was having sex yesterday. I thought it was cool, man. I'll win you back. Here's the thing that happened when we were in Washington, D.C. I'm telling it again. Because we're not going to put out the Philly episode.

You're going to hate this. episode, you're gonna hate this. We met up. David's friends came to the Washington, D.C. show. Oh, yeah, my good friends from growing up. Two of his good friends from growing up. Also from glowing up. They actually both glowed.

Yeah. And one of the friends brought her friend. Oh, yeah, this is a great story. And one of the friends brought her friend. Oh, yeah, this is a great story. And I was sitting next to her in the green room, right? And we started talking. She was majoring in museum science or something like that. Yeah, museum curation. Her friend is very smart.

And I've been to a museum, so I knew how to talk to her. And we started hitting it off. We were talking about how i had gone to this museum in london blah blah blah blah blah and then like we did the show after the show we ended up going out we're having a great time david and i ended up splitting off we went to this place called u street in dc where they were playing dreams and nightmares by meek mill just like out loud on the street ian is in so many random black people's Snapchat. Just as some dude by the crotch rockets

getting twerked on. I was having the best day ever. But anyways, I'm sorry. Yeah, keep going. I wake up in the morning with a text message from David's friend's friend who I'd been chatting up

in the green room. And the message basically said, hey, after we talked about that museum, all I could think about was having sex with you. No! Let me do it. Let me say what the text was.

Alright. Because I was, because me and Ian were sharing a room. Sean and Shane were sharing one bed somewhere. At a Holiday Inn under a bridge or some shit. And a lot of chicken. The text said, it was so fun talking to you. You're so

smart and I can tell you read books. I bet you're reading a book right now which is a shame because I wish you were having sex with me right now. That is exactly what it said. Yeah, that is what it said. That is what it said.

And I read it and I was like, whoa. And I was jumping off the bed. I was like, yeah, boy! I was just screaming the year like, 2019! Like, I was so happy for my man. And I'm like, well, we're leaving. But it's hard for her to send a message like that. I'm sure she sent it when she'd had a few drinks.

She went out on a limb. I thought she was cool. I didn't think we really connected like that. But, you know, I guess I just got that much sauce that spills out. You know what I mean? You dickhead. They married two sauces, you know, and then it was in a little spot.

Like a Buffalo Ranch situation. You wait until he drops the beat on you. This is tight. I send her a message back. I said, oh my God, I missed this message in the post-show madness. But I thought you were really sexy too. I'd love to have sex with you. You're brilliant.

You're gorgeous. I bet while we were having sex, you'd rattle off facts about Crete or something like that. Six hours went by. I send her another message and I'm like, oh, are you going to make me wait 12 hours for a response like

I made you wait 12 hours? I respect it. Two more hours go by. I get a message that says, hey, Ian, I don't know if you remember this, but you sent yourself that message from my phone last night. He told us outside of the hotel, I was shocked.

I was shocked. I might have taken that one. The whole time you were doing it, I was saying, you're not going to remember doing this. And you said, yes, I will. Yes, I will. I just want to be very clear. I was there to support David, not for any other reason.

And then I just said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, 15 times in a row, deleted the thread, and then told these guys at breakfast. Yeah, this tour's been wacky, y'all. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. Because it's like You're usually pretty nice with it too That was a surprisingly unsmooth move for you

I seduced myself that night What can I say And that's really self care The sweetest taboo Anyway Sean it's your turn Sean it's your turn your first pick Cool Sean. Damn.

We got two cool. He's right. He knows what this is. We're blessed. I'm going to go for the obvious to get out of the way right now and say Prince. Yo!

Hell yeah. Wearing nothing but some bikini underwear and a purple trench coat oh yeah oh yeah are we confirmed that prince had a big door knocker on him do we know about that are you asking what are you asking if prince had a big penis? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's one of those guys that doesn't even really need to be big. Like, I bet it was, like, sleek. Like, I bet his dick looked fast. Like a Ferrari. Like, it's just got, like, wind crevices.

His dick had... Like a spoiler on it. Yeah, I was going to say, it has a spoiler. Halfway through, he hits the NOS. Little Red Corvette. Yeah, it was a Little Red Corvette. Yeah, it was Little Red Corvette. With a nice little raspberry beret on it. That's what he would open with that song.

Yeah, open with Little Red Corvette. And even though Stevie Wonder's the headliner, Prince wouldn't go on until like 3 in the morning. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd go on at the after party, and people would be like, you know what the real festival was? The fucking after party, bro. Yeah.

Yeah, obviously, Prince. I sent the text to myself. All right. What song would you have Prince close with if you had your druthers? Oh, close with. That's a good question. Fucking take me with you.

Oh, shit. Like a 20 minute version. Like a third encore. Like all Prince'd out. With Apollonia. Oh, with Apollonia. Okay. Jerome the time. Yeah. Oh, they're from here too, huh? Fucking

Chicago Bears 1984. Fireworks. Just Jim McMahon and the fucking Oakley Stunners. Will Perry. Do you know what song by Prince I love that's not like one of the main bangers, but it's like a secondary banger, but might be my favorite, is Seven, dude. All seven and we watch them fall.

Cling, cling. Stand in the way of love and we will smoke them all. With an innocent and a savoir faire. No one in the whole universe would ever compare. No one in the whole universe would ever compare. I am yours now and you are mine. And together we'll love through all space and time. So don't cry.

One day I'll send it. I didn't mean to bum everyone out. I get it. I get it. I did the man a disservice. Triggered. It's not what you think. It's the fucking word savoir-faire.

Hearing the two of you say that word together in unison fucked me up. Savoir-faire. That's how we go to bed every night. We just look at each other and we're like, Savoir-faire. All right, dude. see you in the morning. Yeah. Random French is

sort of upsetting. When somebody sprinkles it into a sentence and you're like, shut up. What are you doing? Random French was my nickname in prep school. I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cowards! Yeah. Because I was Snoopy Little Devil that likes to kiss. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cowards! Yeah. Because I was Snoopy Little Devil that likes to kiss. You know what I mean? Yeah, man.

Prince, obviously. Dude, Prince had so much sauce he made like the Super Bowl halftime show cool. Like that fucking thing when he was like playing the guitar in the silhouette and it looked like his dick. Come on. On national TV? Get out of here. In the rain on a prince shaped stage with a prince-shaped guitar?

For God's sake, I need my own symbol. What's it going to be? A six-pointed star. A shouting star of David? Just a star of David with an exclamation point? Mine is the number 23, and then you turn it into a dog wearing a hat. Oh, yeah.

You remember that? You remember doing that? That's my bat signal. Symbols are good, man. You remember that? You remember doing that? That's my bat signal. Symbols are good, man. Yeah. Hell yeah, cool, Sean. You should go buy a symbol for a while. I think you're right.

Let's workshop it. We'll workshop it downstairs. I'm an asterisk. Then you can put anything after it you want. Yeah. It's on Overcast, I believe. But also, wasn't that about him getting the rights to his music? That was like a really cool thing.

Seven? No, when he changed his name to the symbol. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a boss move because Prince was a boss. He could hoop, too. I don't know. All right. I'll take my first pick.

Sure. I'm picking an opener. So you come in and this is like, my shit's like huge. Yeah. Right? And it's in a park

because I want everybody to come see it free. So a music festival. Calm the fuck down, bro. Yo, let me live, bro. And we're in the park. Blue angels fly by, right? Over the top.

And they got the streamers. But it's not red, white, and blue. It's green, white, and blue. Because I'm from Sierra Leone. And then in the distance distance you hear a cannon and then you hear Tchaikovsky and his whole band doing the 1812 Overture. First, dog, first!

First! I don't know the rest. Yeah. And then they're the band for the whole thing. They open and then they're the band for the whole shit. Right? Because it's a cumulative thing. You'll see what I'm doing. So that's my first pit.

Tchaikovsky. Yeah. Fuck yeah. And then now we have that whole band, and they're from the 1800s, but they still know how to party. They can get into a good groove. Now we need to mellow it out,

but I want the people to dance. So who's coming out for some of her bangers? Chaka Khan. Whoa! Chaka Khan. I may have talked about it on the podcast before, but Ain't Nobody by Chaka Khan is my favorite song. Just like that a person ever made.

That's my favorite. But also, Tell Me something good through the wire. I feel for you, all that shit. That breakdancing kid will come out, Chaka Khan can be rockin', it's all you want to do, and all that shit. Yes. Is Tchaikovsky's canon guy playing the whole time?

Tchaikovsky's slow grinding on her. No, no, no. He's like, she's singing, I feel for you, and he's like, she's singing, I feel for you. And he's like, getting it. Because they didn't know that they liked each other. Backstage, she introduced him to tequila. Now they're feeling some sparks.

Now they got some sparks. And he's like, have you ever tripped the light fantastic to a flag of mead, m'lady? Yeah, and she's like, we can vote now. Let me show you something. of mead, my lady. And she's like, we can vote now. Let me show you some. Yeah. No, my

question to you is, is Tchaikovsky's cannon guy from the 1812 Overture getting involved in Chaka Khan songs? Is it like, ain't nobody? Ain't nobody. Man's is in it. Man's is in it. We got unlimited cannonballs. We got a sponsor

from Remington. We already like, yo, it's locked down. Mans is in it. We got unlimited cannonballs. We got a sponsor from Remington. We already like, yo, it's locked down. We are in like, yeah. It's all covered. It's all covered. You are a wild boy. I love every part of it. Yeah, man, I do what I can. So, Tchaikovsky Khan so far.

I mean, that's the mixtape that they eventually dropped now that he lives in the future. It's like the Grey album, but, you know. Tchaikovsky and Chaka Khan, you get it. You get it. Could I order a double tequila soda from stage? Is that a possibility? Thank you so much.

Ah, the sweet boy. Sean, time for your second pick. You've got Prince. I follow Chaka Khan, Tchaikovsky. I mean, it's tricky. You can do whatever you want, though. It's dead or alive. Okay.

All right, then what I want is... I want Aerosmith... Oh, shit....to come come out play like three notes and then suddenly have run DMC break through the fucking room. Yo it's on. Okay. That's exactly what you fucking do. Yeah, man. Okay. And then all you motherfuckers put your shoe in the air.

Holding up the Michelle Tobamas. That's what I call shell toes. That's a great pick. So, does Aerosmith play? Do they go back and forth? No, they fucking. They fucking out. They're into the Marvel Universe shit. They're gone.

A cloud of scarves and they're gone. What is Run DMC open with? Do they open with Walk This Way? Nah, they start with My Adidas. They make everybody put a shoe up. And then it doesn't matter. They're just loud. They're just loud. They're just loud and they scare white people.

Are they going to do Rockbox? And also is Jam Master J there? Jam Master J is definitely there. Yeah. Alright, man. I'm with it. I'm super with it. I'll take Rockbox. I'll take 30 Days. I'll take anything. I'll take the weird reggae rap joint they had.

I feel weird about that, but hard times can go. Hard times? Tricky? I love those guys. Tricky was a big I'm a white guy in Beaverton, Oregon song. You know what tricky was, right? To rock a rhyme. Yeah, yeah.

You just fucking met me. You're already stepping on my shit. Sorry! Get him. It's his fault. Get him. We know it's his fault. This windswept hair, look, it's throwing me off.

Oh, what do you mean, bro? You look like you're riding a motorcycle helmetless to a jet fighter. I was just riding my bike around Lake Calhoun earlier. I wouldn't worry about it, you know what I mean? Local reference. Biddy maka ska. Listen, it's okay. He's from South Dakota.

You're a goddamn writer from South Dakota. I've had to say that to every crowd this trip. Anna Vinatieri, January Jones. Brock Lesnar, Bob Barker.

South Dakota's finest. Pat O'Brien, Mary Hart. Man. Lou Ferrigno. Lou Ferrigno I did. What? The Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Martin Luther King Jr. Martin Luther King Sr. Yeah. Prince Philip. All right, Some of the South Dakota's way. Fucking that's tight. I love that Aerosmith just gets their ass beat in this. That's fantastic. Just for a second. And then they're out. It's okay. And then, and then Steven Tyler just wakes up at like a linens and things and then starts putting together outfits and shoes. He's like, oh, what was that? Swabba dab, be-boop,

dab-dow, dab-a-dip-dab, da-dip-dab-dow, rewards card. That was a crazy dream! Crazy dream! I've never tried to do Steven Tyler before

and I never will again. Beep-bop, squabba-dib-a-do-bish, Sean Jordan, time for your second pick. Bip bop. Second pick is going to be a band that I've always wanted to see in a music festival, and I don't know that they ever really did.

It's going to be TLC. Oh! Ooh, yeah, that's great. The entire catalog. Are we talking so hits? Are we talking ooh on the TLC tip? Ooh on the TLC tip, we got Baby Baby Baby, Ain't Too Proud to Beg, What About Your Friends.

But you've got to do some Crazy Sexy Cool. Yeah, of course. And you've got to do some Fan Mail. You do all of it. And all of those are filled with bangers. We got 10 bangers on those three albums. At least 10 crazy bangers. But for me, honestly, it's all about ooh on the TLC tip.

That was when I was like a fifth grader. And I was like, yeah, this is what I like. This is the music I like. We watched. And these are the cross colors I want to wear, by the way. That's why I was wearing size 38 cross colors. It's because fucking Chili was wearing them. And I'm like, Chili can do it. Oh, wow. I can't imagine wearing size 38.

What a fool you must have looked like. I was 11. So was Ian. Yeah. Which Dickies workwear pants say, I'm comfortable in my own skin in a 7th grade English class? Yeah, TLC. I think that would be absolutely amazing

to see them all together doing all the bangers and then some of those deep cuts that you forgot about. What are the deep cuts you would pick? I wouldn't pick any right now. Way to put me on the spot. I apologize. Oh, no, no, no. Sex Falcon. Fuck me up against that

Pepsi machine that hasn't had any cans in it for four years. I was going to say case of the fake people, but it's... Oh, yeah. Damn. Oh, this isn't a TLC crowd? This is a bunch of SWV heads?

I see you. Cheating on my grandma. Red Light Special. Oh, no. Oh, no, I accidentally put condoms over both of my eyes. And I'm having trouble driving. That was one of them, the B-sides. Yeah, you're nailing it. Are these fake TLC songs doing anything for anyone?

Cool, blue plate special. I want some beans. I want some rice, cause baby tonight. All right. I liked it. It's like worse Weird Al, and that's what people want to hear. What's that?

It's time for my second pick. Oh, cool, thanks, I'll do it. And your third pick, as it is. A my second pick. Oh, cool. Thanks. I'll do it. And your third pick, as it is. A serpentine draft. There we go. My second pick is a group that I never got to see live,

and then they reunited, and somehow I fucking fucked it up and didn't fucking see it again because I'm a fucking idiot, and I hate myself, and I belong in prison, and I should die there damn no no we love you Ian no I'm bad I'm stupid no I'm rotten I'm no good dog I'm one of the best to ever do it. I love you guys.

Okay, I'm one of the best to ever do it. Maybe not that far. All right, you're right. Okay. I'm taking OutKast. OutKast is going up. They're going to go up right before Queen. They're setting the stage for Queen. I fucking, I worked the Super Bowl this year.

Security. Big yellow jacket. No uh our tv show is covering it and uh i got to be on the fucking field and see big boy in a long fur coat sitting in a cadillac driving on a football field and i believed in every god all of them all the gods. And I'm not necessarily, I don't really fuck with fur, but I was like, yeah, he can wear fur.

That's fine. You can wear fur. I would strangle the minks and otters that they, myself, they'd be like, this is for big boy, but you have to kill all the mink. I'm like, sure, yeah.

Sorry, buddy. Gah! Yeah. Yeah. Two makes. It was fucking amazing. We were at Bumbershoot once, and we saw Big Boy perform solo, and he did Rosa Parks,

and I started tearing up. I was like, what? I didn't know. I had no idea. But that was like one of the first songs I heard. When I was in middle school, I traded Masterpiece MP The Last Dong. Dong? Don. You're clapping, but did you love that album that much?

It had the one song. It had two good songs on that album. But I traded it to some guy on the school bus For a Kwamini And then I listened to Rosa Parks like 16 times in a row And then a 17th And then an 18th And that's the only song I'll listen to since

Right after we say Savoir Faire He puts on that Rosa Parks And then we just go to sleep Savoir Faire. He puts on that Rosa Parks and then we just go to sleep. Savoir Faire. I hate to do it to you, but I just gotta keep bringing it up. You know what I mean? I just think it would be fucking tight. Andre up there doing shoulder things. He's got those wide shoulders.

Is he wearing shoulder pads like in the Rosa Parks video? Nah, but he doesn't have a shirt on either, so it's alright. Yeah, he can't have a shirt. He shouldn't own shirts. Big Boy does have a Mets jersey on for some reason, though. I'm okay with this. Yeah. Probably Doc Gooden. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not in charge. I'm not in charge. It's a

batting practice jersey. It's not my call. That's a great pick, man. Thank you. Yeah, I'm in. I'm going in reverse order. Right before OutKast, there needs to be a band on for when the Molly hits. Yeah, that's true.

Or whatever drug. Or whatever drug. Not meth. But not meth. Or heroin. Fun drugs, you know. The kind where you can buy them in a well-lit place. The kind where you're not afraid to ask people at work if they know what they can get.

Like you get into a Subaru Outback to buy them. Like those kind of drugs. Oh, I love Outback drugs. NPR drugs, you know. Where it's like, coming up next, Christian Fodenvencel on, anyway, how know? Where it's like, coming up next, Christian Foden, Vance, on anyway, how much? Like, yeah. Like the kids are at grandma's

and I haven't done this since 08 type drugs. Yeah. And who I want to be playing when the drugs kick in is a small electronic music outfit called Daft Punk. Oh, shit. Damn. Yeah, man. Fuck, that's a good pick up. Yeah. That's a. Oh, shit. Yeah, man. Fuck, that's a good pick-up.

That's a good fucking pick-up. Yeah, the robots, dude. Are they going to be full robots? They're going to be full robots. There's going to be a light show, you know. I'm going to have, like, some silly string, and I'm, like, in my head, I'm like, I'm spraying it everywhere, we're having fun.

But in reality, I'm spraying it all on the one dude next to me. You just described my first time seeing Daft Punk. Except it was in another country. Yeah. And I got engaged. During? But the silly string, all the drugs, all that shit. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Where did you see that funk? Where was it? In some town in the countryside in France, somewhere between 2007 and 2009. Yeah. Sean, you were fucked up. That was Paris, dog. That was in front of the Eiffel Tower.

I can text my wife. She'll remember. It was Oakland. It was 2014. Last year in Oakland. Some people call Oakland the Paris of the West. We were on all that meth. I can see that.

I can see that. Ghost town, baby. I've never seen, was it amazing? Was it fantastic? The show was great. I didn't pay for it. I was there because we played the early year that day on a stage about the size of that monitor. Yeah, yeah.

Dog. Shit is wild. But later that evening, when the drugs hit, Daft Punk was on stage, and I was promised. That is a wild way to say that. I was prompt. A dowry was exchanged. My wife gave my dad 16 cattle and here I am. The dailies.

I feel it. I feel it. You guys are old school. I like this. I like it. That's awesome. Now I'm going to be like really disappointed in however I get engaged. It's going to be like.

Well, it's a. Bro, there was a pyramid on the stage. There was? Mine's going to be like an AWOL Nation cover band. You know what I'm going to be like? Pastor Troy. That's what Pastor Troy's doing now. Sam Sue!

I don't want it to be the case, but I feel like I'm going to get engaged in a parking lot. Yeah. That's where most of the best stuff has happened to me. Maria, will you... A lot of my big firsts in a parking lot. Maria, will you Fogo Day of my big firsts in a parking lot. Maria, will you Fogo Day make me the happiest

man on earth? We ain't budruckers, but I keep calling it buttfuckers. Hey, I know my check bounced, but do you want to get married? Sean Jordan, your third musical act.

I'm all over the place here. I feel bad because everyone's being so intricate, but I'm just picking what I want for a festival. So, yeah, I'm also going backwards.

And right before TLC, I'm putting up Hall & Oates. Whoa! Ooh, yeah. Because they're just a hit machine. I mean, it's just, you just,

who do I want to see at a festival? I want to see all these people. But Hall & Oates, I've seen Hall & Oates at the Afro-Mentor Bumbershoot and holy buckets where they dink.

It was gnarly. They kept hinting to Maneater. Or no, Make My Dreams Come True. So they opened with Maneater. And this is what's going to change at my festival because they're not going to play any of the stuff that I don't want to hear. They opened with Maneater.

Because you're beside the stage with a pistol. I just got a sawed-off Omar just whistling by the stage like, don't play any of that new shit. Don't do it. You give it a shot, but someone's going to get opened up. It's going to be Maneater, every other thing, and then you make my dreams come true 15 times, and it's going to be great.

Wind machines as far as the eye can see. Trumpet players that don't need to be there. Yeah, it's going to be a sight. You got to tell your, I know we've told it before, but your mom. I'll tell you. So,

I told my mom that I saw, I told her, I was like, hey, I saw Hall & Oates in Seattle. It was super sick. And she goes,

oh, that's awesome. I really like Hall. Straight up. And I'm like, why on God's green earth? What did Oates do to Kelly Jordan all of a sudden?

He knows. That she's just when I see Oates, it's on sight. He better hope I don't see him. Oates better hope I don't run into him on Hy-Vee because I'll tell you what, I'll rip his fucking throat out, playboy. Kelly Jordan's got squabbles. You don't even know. I believe it.

Yeah, man. Hall and Oates. This is just going to be a whole festival of just bangers, and I'm thrilled about it. That's it, banger fest. Bangers and mash, that's what you should call it. There's a lot of mashed potatoes, like barrels of mashed potatoes. Oh, I meant whiskey.

No, no, his last pick is going to be Boris Pickett, and he's going to sing the Monster Mash, and that's that. And now to bring it home. It was the lob late one night. Yep, Hall & Oates. Hall & Oates. There it home. It was the lab late one night. Yep. Hall and Oates. Hall and Oates. There it is.

Cool, Sean? Sean. Cool, Sean's turn. I'm trying to keep up here. You're nailing it. So now I'm thinking I'm listening to your picks. You got the hits.

You fully got the hits. Hit machine. I don't have to come with hits right now. You got that covered. You got the the hits. Hit machine. I don't have to come with hits right now. You got that covered. You got the drug part. You got the artistic credibility. Yeah, I'm out here in the wilderness.

So if we're going to throw this festival, we got to make some money. Yeah. It'd be nice. You want to be a little subversive. You don't want to just be obvious. Sure. Because then you're not cool. Right, right.

So what I would suggest then, I don't remember the fucking guy's name. But we can get him. We can get him. We can get him. I know his song, though. But the reason we should get him is because we're going to make our money in beer. Yeah. If we get that guy that sings that welcome to Margaritaville shit

We can make them go fucking first, I don't give a fuck put them on the bill get everybody trashed and then we'll sell shirts They will I'm saying we'll have the fly fits to bangers and mash. Yeah. On the Hawaiian shits. Might even sell a couple whale bones, some of those big, tall fucking margarita type drinks. You know what I mean? You know, there's nothing that gets 50-year-old white women drunk.

Oh. White men drunk. Jimmy Buffett does the fucking trick. I've never experienced this like myself. I've seen it. I've been at like family gatherings. I've been in, my in-laws came to town so they could go see him open for the Eagles.

Oh, wow! Oh, Jimmy Buffett and the Eagles? And they came back. I don't know what you guys are talking about. They were like, wow. They talked it up so much that I'm going to go next time Jimmy Buffett comes through. I have to experience this. I have to see this.

Yeah, I saw a documentary about him, dude. People love that dude, bro. You know how many joints I could sell at this fucking concert? Oh, my God. Some old dude, you call it a spleave. Hey, man, you want a spleave? I'm saying, just come with the pre-rolls. You're like, hey.

I got the tie sticks. I got the tie sticks for anyone who wants them. You're only going to want to smoke half of that, Grandpa. I got some of that Buffett enhancer right here for you, Playboy. Slide it, slide it to him. Download Venmo on their phone, connect it to their bank account. And this is how you take a Lyft home.

Download that for him as well. Hell yeah. I'm with it. Yeah, dude, Jimmy Buffett. Some people say that there's a... Shout out yeah. I'm with it. Yeah, dude. Jimmy Buffett. Some people say that there's a woman to blame,

but I know it's my own damn fault. Ain't that the friggin' truth, James Buffett? Plus, he's got that song Cheeseburger in Paradise. And you can eat there. Who doesn't like a marketing opportunity with concessions?

Regular cheeseburger, $9. Still making a profit. Cheeseburger in Paradise, it has one onion ring on it, $38. They're buying it. I see the vision. Hell yeah.

David! Okay. What you've drafted They're buying it. I see the vision. Hell yeah. David. Okay. What you've drafted so far is not only Chaka Khan, but also Tchaikovsky. Yeah. What are your third and your fourth sets? So now we're grooving, and now you don't know what's going on. Anything could happen, right?

I never know what's going on with you. And she's singing, and Chaka Khan's singing. Tell me that you love me. And then she gets in a groove. And she keeps saying it. Tell me that you love me. Love me. Love, love.

And then there's a key change. And then fucking sparks start shooting out of the stage. And then you hear from the background, they call me Dr. Love! Fucking kiss, dog. Really? Yeah, because now you don't know what the fuck's going to happen.

What the fuck is going to happen? You didn't know? You bought tickets to Tchaikovsky. Your wig's blown. Your wife is pregnant, dog. You don't know what's happening. And they're all playing at the same time.

Everybody's feeding off of everybody because they all love each other. Kiss gave Chaka Kwan some quail eggs. Chaka Kwan. I like it better. I like Chaka Kwan.

That's how someone in Kiss I went to summer school with a kid named Chaka Kwan. He was. That's how Ace Frehley would say Chaka Kwan. That's how someone in KISS would... I went to summer school with a kid named Chaka Kwan. He was. That's how Ace Frehley would say Chaka Kwan. So what's going on after Chaka Kwan? Chaka Kwan? Chaka Kwan was J. Kwan's mom, right?

On the rock and roll. All night. No, that's the song that I need to lead into my next pick. I'm sorry. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. need to lead into my next pick. I'm sorry. Oh, sorry. Yeah. A different Kiss song. And then everybody's playing together, and they're having fun.

And then they do, because you know when you see a band like Kiss, they're always teasing, I want to rock. You know what I mean? They're always teasing it. And then they start doing it, and they go. Right, right. They'll be like, we've been rocking for a while now. And then there's

some dude in the in the front row like now here it is an ace freely solo jam so then they start and they start playing that and they're like you keep on shouting you keep on shouting but then instead of playing the song they just do it again again. You keep on shouting. You keep on shouting. And then they do it again. You keep on shouting. You. And then the beat changes. And then it's a rap beat.

You keep on shouting. And then you hear. Ah. Ah. Ah. I can feel you with real millionaire shit. And Biggie comes out. Oh.

S-Car Go. 160. Swiftly. I reckon by your crew run, your crew run, run, run. But Biggie, I want Biggie B-sides. Like I want him to do like

I Love the Dough featuring Angel Windbush. I want him to do Player Hater. You've been robbed. And then like Mo Money Mo Problems obviously, his verse

off of Victory all about the big concert now at this point. Does Busta Rhymes come out during the Victory song? What's the real live shit from the back? Busta doesn't come out. All you hear is Puffy do in the beginning. It's all

fucked up now. Huh? What am I going to do now? But like it's him looking at the craft service table in the back. It's a live recording. Just a little bit out of order. There's like no avocados. He's like, it's all fucked up now.

It's all fucked up now. What I'm supposed to do now? What I'm supposed to do now? He's got a piece of bear toast. It's all fucked up now. But yeah, Biggie, I like, my whole life, man, when I was little, I just, I was never old enough to go to Summer Jam. You can't ride your bike there. So like, I just like, man, that guy changed my whole life, man.

You're old enough now and you're the voice of Comedy Central, so I think you can go. That doesn't have anything to do with it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I might lose this job because I got to record tomorrow and I am drinking, but the point is I just have always wanted to see Biggie and just like, so many

like, this is because this festival is for me that like I think like when he did Mo Money Mo Problems, I might cry like, P-I-G- B-O, P-P. Man, that dude. Oh, man. And then I want to hear weird shit.

Yeah. You want to hear that song where he got a blowjob? Emptiness age phenomenal gun rests under your chest by the abdominals. Man, I love that dude. So, yeah. Notorious B-I-G. You want to have that? Hell yeah.

Dead wrong and shit? What? Dead wrong. Dead wrong. I want to hear dead wrong. I want to have Dead Wrong and shit? What? Dead Wrong. Dead Wrong. I want to hear Dead Wrong. I want to hear. I guess it's like Bad Boy Family because I would want the locks to be there, but they don't have to do too much except for last day. But yeah, Biggie, man.

And I guess Bad Boy right before he died is what I want. No, Biggie. I'll take Biggie. I'll just take Biggie. Bad boy is a staff record label. Man, if you're a dark-skinned, fat, black kid, man, you didn't even know you could be cool, and then you saw that dude, and you were like,

word, I could be sexy, and then here you are 15 years later. That's how that happened. You can take away the dark skin and the black kid. Just being a fat guy, I was like, oh, really? Yeah! Other than Biggie, I was like, who else is out here getting it? The Michelin Man. And that was it.

It was Biggie and the Michelin Man and every other fat guy was a joke. Michelin Man, though, he was out there, you know, recommending restaurants, giving people tires. I saw him. He had a good life. He had a good life. R.I.P. Yeah, so Notorious B.I.G. Hell yeah.

Sean? Only one. Man, I'm so lost here. That's what happens, man. Now you just gotta swim in it. I didn't think I needed to prepare. I thought we were just gonna fucking riff off of each other. So now I'm trying to follow what you guys are doing.

I don't know who. I have ideas. You're doing fantastic. David's Music Festival's Tchaikovsky, Chaka Khan, Kiss, and Biggie. Don't listen to that. That's crazy. Yours so far is Prince Aerosmith getting murdered by Run DMC and Jimmy Buffett.

We're swimming, baby. I'm going to go for another dead guy. Yep. Yep. I would say, I would like to see Nirvana because I never saw- Of course.

Fuck yeah. Absolutely. I was going to, all right, perfect. Wait, wait, wait. I didn't get to finish what I was saying, though. I would like to see Nirvana

because I never saw what happened to that other guy. Like, one guy died. The other guy's in the Foo Fighters. Where's the other guy? What happened to that guy? Can I tell you guy died. The other guy's in the Foo Fighters. Where's the other guy? What happened to that guy? Can I tell you? He lives in Aberdeen, Washington.

Chris Novoselic is a local politician in Washington. Yeah. What's he like, an alderman? He's like a city councilman in Aberdeen, Washington. He's 6'8", and he's involved in local politics. Right on. Is he 6'8"? Fuck it, let's go.

I want him to come to the show. Fuck it. He'll be out there passing out flyers and shit. That's gnarly. He'll canvas the show. He'll be that guy that's at the show with fucking, like, hey, don't forget, next week, register. Yeah, by the way.

I got a table over here. I'll be back after we play our set. We'll be right here. Yeah, yeah. Can I leave you with this clipboard? Go ahead and fill this out. I have to go play Rape Me, and then I'll be right back. I'm going to need your email address, too.

Oh, you don't have an email address? All right. I'm glad you told me that. I'm totally going to vote for him. Isn't that cool? That's what we fucking need. Yeah, of course Nirvana's going to be there. Bernie slash Kristoffer Selleck, 2020.

Sean Jordan. Yeah. Late of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Playboy. Resident of Glendale, California. The Dale. Known for nailing cakey thick flips. I also have been known to do for nailing cakey thick flips. I also have been known

to do that. A cakey thick flip? Owner in a different genre. Owner of hat sauce. Yep. The King of Sioux Falls. What's your next pick? Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I'm saying. Three strips of bacon. So my fourth pick is going to be the Backstreet Boys. This is going to be a fun fucking festival. I can't even be mad at it. Yeah, your shit's good. I didn't want you to be the Backstreet Boys. This is going to be a fun fucking festival. I can't even be mad at it.

Yeah, your shit's going off. I didn't want you to be mad at it. Why would you be mad at that? What do they open with? Hit Machete Backstreet's back, obviously. I believe it's called Everybody. They do the whole monster thing? Yeah.

Are you dabbing over there? Why are you moving like that? Nobody wanted to see the step dab, huh? Step dab! Listen, I'm 37. I just got into tie dye. It's the kind of life I'm living, you know? Yeah.

This summer is... Anything could happen to you this summer. Everybody. Yeah. Everybody now. Everybody. That, yeah. Everybody now. Dog. Oh, yeah.

That's the one we had beef over. I thought they said everybody now. Don't make me angry. These two lost their fucking mind over it. We don't have beef. You're just wrong.

He thought that that song, that Backstreet Boys song, he thought they said now. So he thought it was everybody now. Yeah. Rock your body now. So he thought it was everybody now. Yeah. Rock your body now.

Everybody now. Rock your body now. Hey. Backstreet. You don't fuck with Backstreet Boys? I missed out on the Backstreet Boys. I had a job. Damn. That's facts for real.

Because I didn't. And that's why I had the time to be watching TRL. I was driving a truck. Y'all are fucking around in your mirror doing some shit. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I was driving a Huffy back home to watch TRL. I was driving my parents crazy with how loud I was playing the Backstreet Boys. Who's your favorite Backstreet Boys, Sean? Brian. He's your favorite Backstreet Boys, Sean? Brian. He's the boys, man.

Brian, Nick, AJ, Howie, Kevin. Those are the Backstreet Boys. You guys are fucking serious. I love this. It was a Howie? How old was Howie? Howie was 40. No, Kevin was the old dude.

Like the old looking. Oh, he was the one who looked like a man. The dude who looks like a way hotter version of me, but like that was Kevin back then. Is that what you look like in your head? Howie was driving truck with Sean actually, and then he left with the Backstreet Boys. I do remember seeing the Backstreet Boys and being like, why are they singing with that science teacher? Like the one, like, man. He was like an old man.

Yeah, with a big, thick, heavy trench coat. Yeah, yeah. AJ was the drug addict. Howie was the baby face. Nick was the future drug addict. And Brian was the only decent singer out of the whole group. But he was not the most attractive. So what do you do?

Who was the most attractive, Sean? Probably Nick. Okay. Nothing on Nick, huh? He's a bad person. I don't know what you guys are trying to do to me. Brian? Nah.

I don't know about all that. Anyway, so Backstreet Boys. That's my fourth pick. All right. They did that song No Diggity, too, right? Come on, man. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. Everybody. Rock your body. What if Dr. Dre showed up to the wrong video shoot? Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. We've got to do a lightning. My fourth pick.

I seize it. I'm taking Fat Elvis. Oh, like with the wings? Yeah. Yeah, fuck it. Fat, coked out, amphetamined out, sweaty. Shooting the TV? In a white leather nudie suit, rhinestones, but still fucking got one in him, you know?

Like one karate kick. Yeah in him, you know? Like one karate kick. Yeah. And like, he tore a number of fucking muscles, but he's so blissed out on drugs he has no idea. Oh yeah, sequins busting at the seams. D'Angelo's blown out Elvis.

He's sweating bacon grease and gin, but he's still caught in a trap. He's still got it. I can't walk out. People are like, fuck yeah, Fat Elvis. And I'm on the side like, good job, Fat Elvis. You're my Biggie.

That's not true. No, Biggie's my Biggie. Yeah, Biggie's your Biggie. But Fat Elvis, since I couldn't take Biggie, you're my second Biggie. Anyway, he's fat as fuck eating fried banana sandwiches. And then he goes up, sings three songs, wet burps, and then leaves. Because I love you.

Ladies and gentlemen, OutKast. That's all he needs to do. Yo, you nailed it. That's all he needs to do. Big boy. He's emceeing the whole thing. Coming up next, a little outfit involving two French robots.

Two French robots. Two French robots. This is the best city in the world. This is so sick. Yeah, I'm so glad we made it back. So, Fat Elvis and my opener. My opener. I just need to fucking tear the roof off. I need to get the fucking energy going.

And you tell me if this is okay. I think it is. It's your podcast. It is. It is my podcast. Watch the Thrones. Yeah. Motherfucker! Of course.

You piece of shit! And this come out and do Paris 15 times and then bring up Fat Elvis. And now Fat Elvis to emcee the rest of the festival. You just fucked my whole shit up. All right, Fian, now we're going to bring up Fat Elvis.

And then Fat Elvis comes up. Yeah, dude, Watch the Thrones. They come up, they do some Watch the Thrones songs. I'm not even asking for any solo Kanye or Jay-Z shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, nobody heard? They have incredible catalogs individually.

Not on my festival. It was a very clear contract. The wording was gone over. Every T crossed. Every I dotted. Nine Jewish lawyers. I'm with you on this one. I can't believe he did that to my page.

Go to a different festival! Not now, not now. Please stay, please stay, please stay. We love you. No, they're doing a couple of their own songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. What am I, fucking a maniac?

Come on. I am fucking a maniac. I'm fucking 10 maniac? Come on. I am fucking a maniac. I'm fucking 10,000 maniacs. I'm fucking the band 10,000 Maniacs. Sean, time for your final pick.

I don't have a festival that doesn't start very, very gnarly. So for my opener, for the very first act in this festival, I'm picking the buckest live show I've ever seen I'm picking Buck Cherry huh?

Wacky Circus Gang? are you are you really? I wasn't going to but am I gonna now? pick what you were gonna pick stand up on it

I was gonna no I can't do that I was gonna pick the buckest live show I've pick what you were gonna pick stand up on it I was gonna no I can't do that I was gonna pick the buckest live show I've ever seen I'm gonna pick so for my for my personal dream festival

I'll go differently I'm gonna pick what I would've picked if he wasn't sitting right next to me but Atmosphere obviously is on my dream festival yeah

obviously bro that's not even placating you had to do it that's like if you weren't here he would've picked that had to do it we don't need to make

a big deal about it but I do need to say and while I have a second this is one of the coolest things I've ever got to do it. That's like if you weren't here, you would have picked that. Had to do it. We don't need to make a big deal about it, but I do need to say, and while I have a second, this is one of the coolest things I've ever got to do. Like, not a lot of people get to live one of their dreams, and I just did it. I really just did. So, not to make you feel weird, man, but seriously, that, so we can be done with it. I don't want to make it weird, but I'm just saying. How do you spell that?

What was it, Atmosphere? Yeah. Obviously. I appreciate it because we're not cheap. No? Yeah. If you get all the money, the rest of them are doing it pro bono because I held them at gunpoint. Because I got that sawed off from earlier, like Omar. You know what I'm talking about?

I don't know how to follow that. Ah, you can't. I mean, you could say my live comedy album. I picked Sean. Yeah! Yo, that's the best thing that's ever happened. Like, ah, man. Yeah. If he wasn't sitting right here, I'd be bawling.

So, the second show gets all that. But I want you to come out and do atmosphere songs. Not a lot of people do. I could stand up and do Party for the Fight to Right right now. I could do Yesterday. No, I can't do that. Get up! Get up!

They want it, Chad! They want it, Chad! His eyes are so glassy. He's gonna cry. Now I can't remember exactly how it goes. Hides his eyes with the bill of a cat, marks amongst the flies that hover over the map. Here lies, but only when there is a reason.

Messaged life by the tragedy, the comedy, the season. War at handling and managing income. I'm getting nervous, I'm forgetting all the lyrics. Managing income, been there. I'm fucking the lyrics up, I'm nervous. Now you guys made getting nervous. I'm forgetting all the lyrics. Managing income. Been there. I'm fucking the lyrics up. I'm nervous. Now you guys made me nervous. Just put an asterisk.

I'll do it all downstairs. But yeah, it's my favorite song ever made, by the way. Caswell Berry's part, 4-1-1-27, I think. Every girl looks better in a sundress. Anyway, now you got to follow all that. Oh, wait, you did. You picked me Anyway, now you got to follow all that. Oh, wait, you did. You picked me. I ain't going to follow all that.

I don't know about all that. David, unable to pick either. And you're telling me you are Jewish. Bro, you act like I don't have four pockets on my shit. I got moves. I got cargo shorts, bro. I got moves, man. I'm picking.

I just cried to her shit on tour in the whip the other day. I'm obviously picking Whitney Houston. Get off me. I'm saucing. Hell yeah. I'm saucing with this lineup. Whitney Houston.

Can we talk about that? We were driving to some eastern seaboard. We were driving. I think we were driving. I think we were driving. I think we were driving to D.C. Yeah. And David was in the back like, will you play The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston? And I was like. No, no, no, no, no.

I was, I wanted you to play Saving All My Love. Oh, Saving All My Love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, okay. You know how I am. I'm so charismatic. And I did. I put it on.

And humble. And I fucking turned it up and fuck we were all singing along to it and David dude David cracked open dude it's like that song to me I mean you guys could listen to it it's just like it's mad beautiful cause it's like I also have a feeling

in my heart where I'm like yo I'm trying my best. And it just is like still kind of fucked up. And that whole song, she's like, yo, I love you. And I know it's so bad and I'm not supposed to. And everything we're doing is so wrong. But for real, it's all here for you. I love you.

I appreciate you because love is fucked up and it's complicated. And like just like she's like singing her heart out. And that's you know what I mean? She's like it's like it's complicated. And just like she's singing her heart out in that song. You know what I mean? It's like bare bones. And it's like she was so young. You know what I mean? It's just like, man, saving all my love. It's like one of my favorite songs ever.

It's so beautiful because it's so fucked up. Yeah, man. And that is like, truthfully, it is one of the hardest. It's like now that I have money, I would have seen her so many times. Oh, dog. Yeah. If she was alive, like I was like, that's like the soundtrack to my life. I'd have flown anywhere to see her.

So the fact that I didn't get to see her, I like, I like, that's like, that music makes me feel something. So yeah, man. Whitney Houston. Hell yeah. And then, but with everybody else. So she was with kids, so yeah, she would be on blow, because she was with Chris. Whatever, I love her because I love her, dawg.

Yep. So yeah, Whitney Houston. Well that about wraps it up! To give it a quick rundown Ian Carmel you went first Oh my god in those green shorts I don't know what I like them Ian you took queen first

Followed by outcast And then daft punk And then big fat Elvis And then watch the thrones Sean Jordan you went second And you took Oh my handwriting And then Big Fat Elvis. And then Watch the Thrones. Sean Jordan, you went second. And you took, oh, my handwriting. I don't have a fucking table.

You took Stevie Wonder first. And then T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chili. And then Hall & Oates. And then the Backstreet Boys. And then a little outfit called Atmosphere. God damn. That's a festival right there. Goddamn it. Sean, you went a third. You took fucking Prince.

You took Aerosmith getting hit by bricks from a brick wall and then falling into the ether and being replaced by Run DMC. Yeah. And then you got an eye on the bottom line and the bottom line, so you took Jimmy Buffett.

And then your next pick after that was, what the fuck did I just write down? Nirvana. Oh, yeah. Nirvana. Nirvana. And then you took fucking Sean Jordan performing the music of Atmosphere.

Which is a huge pick. Holy buckets, that piece. David Bourie, you went last, and you took Tchaikovsky. Yeah. I stand on it. I stand behind every pick. And then Chukka Khan.

Chukka Khan. Chukka Khan Khan. And then Kiss. Yeah. And then the notorious Christopher Wallace, B-I-G. Yeah. East Malls. And then you wrapped it up with Whitney Houston.

Hell yeah. Oh yeah. We left a lot of great stuff on the board. The only thing I didn't get was Jay-Z. I got my shit straight. I got my shit. Elton John. We left Elton fucking John on the board. The only thing I didn't get was Jay-Z. I got my shit straight. I got my shit. Elton John. We left Elton fucking John on the board.

He doesn't have the grip. He deserves mention. Oh, I had Parliament. Oh, I had Parliament too. I wanted After Kiss came out. Then the mothership to come down. LCV Sound System would have been tight in the festival. The Fugees.

I have a plasma. Janis Joplin would have been fucking tight. Metallica. Goddamn, that would have been tight in the festival? The Fugees? I have a plasma. Janis Joplin would have been fucking tight. Metallica? God damn, that would have been it. I mean, Slayer Dio would have been tight. You get it. Taylor Swift was on mine. That would have been dope.

Yeah, it was. Definitely was. Yes. Yes, yes, we get it. Ah, yes, yes. We want to hear your picks as well, so make sure you send them to us at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter,

allfantasypodcasts at gmail.com. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to St. Kelly Jordan. Shout out to fucking Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking Sea Otters, Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking Sea Otters, bro.

Shout out to Lasagna. Shout out to Cool Sean. Shout out to Cool Sean. Shout out to fucking Sean, dude. Shout out to Sean's brother, Jordan. We see you, Jordan, wherever you are out there. Fucking shout out to Minneapolis. Shout out to St. Paul.

Shout out to Kevin Garnett. Shout out to Kevin Love, dude. Any shout out? Shout out to St. Paul Shout out to Kevin Garnett Shout out to Kevin Love dude Any shout out Shout out to Wilson Davis Torgerson Shout out Jack Olson Shout out Yeah some local skateboarders

That are professional That made it Shout out to fucking Sean Malto dude Shout out to Saleset Fucking It's just a little It's just a little event

Right over there Shout out to What's your What event are you doing You're doing like an outdoor show? Yeah, Save the Boundary Waters up in Duluth. Yeah. And more important than all of that,

tune in again next week for another brand new episode of... All Fantasy Everything! Six-packity. That was a HeadGum Podcast.