All Fantasy Everything - Music Videos to Live in (w/ Sean Jordan, David Gborie, and Miel Bredouw)

Episode Date: September 14, 2017

Happy one year anniversary, AFE friends! Video killed the radio star, and you can kill a couple hours with Sean Jordan, David Gborie, Miel Bredouw and host Ian Karmel deciding which music videos they'd like to spend the rest of their lives within. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is celebrating its one-year anniversary today! What? Superbuck. Yeah, one year. Superbuck. This is our one-year anniversary. We did it.

Yeah, we did it. Congrats. We did it, Beaverton. We did it, Sioux Falls. Goddamn anniversary. We did it. Yeah, we did it. Congrats. We did it. Beaverton. We did it. Sioux Falls. Goddamn right. We did it.

God, what are we going to claim on this one? Elizabeth. Elizabeth Collar. Shout out to the 646. We did it. Orcas Island. Yeah. You got that right.

Yeah. See? Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. It is an auspicious anniversary today in the studio. That's pretty cool. It's special. It feels special. It does today in the studio. That's pretty cool. It's special.

It feels special. It does. We just have podcast favorites left and right. Sean Jordan. What's up? What's up? What's up? Sean S. Jordan.

Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. What do we got coming up? You know, I'm going to beapolis uh the third week in uh october so that's a very long ways away now that i say it out loud all right not that far away yeah i guess like i have two

weeks away what are you are you doing shows up there ten thousand lakes festival check it out uh friend of the podcast shane torres headlining well of course oh i gotta open up for that fucking windbag it wouldn't be it wouldn't it wouldn't be a proper one year anniversary he got so upset that we were ragging on he like got he was texting us

he was so mad he was mad at you he was mad at Sean he was mad at me he was mad that we were ragging on his album cover where he where he fucking looks like

a cross between Anthony Kiedis somebody tweeted that Anthony Kiedis and what is that under the bridge where he fucking looks like a cross between Anthony Kiedis. Somebody tweeted that Anthony Kiedis and what is that under the bridge where he's just running with his wide open hands. He's kind of got that look. It's a Kiedis vibe for sure. Yeah. Kiedis tones.

He looks like a cross between Anthony Kiedis and Anthony Kiedis, if we're being honest. Just different stages of drug addiction. He got real upset at us. So go see Sampler Platter and Bean Burrito No Onions together on the same table in Minneapolis. Bring me Cuddy Sark like you think I'm David. I like liquor as well, but for some reason,

people bring me Hawaiian squee-rolls. The G is silent. Hey, hey. Cool Guy Jokes 87. Yes, sir. Tiffany. Tiffany. Yeah, there. Tiffany. Tiffany. Yeah, there it is.

Tiffany. That's what they call me. Yeah. What do you got coming up, dude? Dude, I've been touring for like eight, nine, ten weeks or something. You have been. I'm home. I don't know.

I think. Buffalo wings, dude. I'm home at least for all of September. I'm sorry, guys. I do want to say shout out to Jerrica and Miss Rodriguez coming out in Tulsa, bringing a shirt. She made a shirt that says the G is silent. Oh, no.

It was the best ever. Yeah. But, yeah, other than that, no, I'm chilling in the cut. Probably going to live tweet the Bridget Jones series at some point. I like that. You know what I think you got coming up is I think we got a Saturday coming up. Oh, shit. Oh, let's do it.

We're having a Saturday. I think we got a Saturday coming up. It's a Saturday. Miel, you gangster enough to get down on a Saturday? I don't know what a Saturday is. We'll just have

a fucking Saturday. Just have a Saturday. Like, what is it? You just have a day? Day will start around 3.30, 4 o'clock. Yeah, yeah. We might do something great. We might go to a mall. Been known to hit a golf ball or two. We might go to a golf ball or two. Maybe hit a day. Dale started around 3.30, 4 o'clock. Yeah, yeah. We might do something great.

We might go to a mall. Been known to hit a golf ball or two. We might go to a golf ball or two. Maybe hit a beach. Yeah, maybe hit a beach. Maybe it starts even earlier. After that golf ball, we might meet a spark plug who's our bartender who, you know, hates from Provincons.

One of those. Oh, yeah. But her husband's kind of... At the golf course. We did. We ran into a real spark plug of an old lady. Real hot ticket. Yeah.

I brought up Trump and she starts popping off and we're worried that she likes Trump because you're kind of an older lady of the golf course. It could go either way. Hates Trump. Anyway, the night's going to end up with us being drunk. Probably watching music videos appropriately. Heavy on the

camaraderie. Hell yeah. Heavy on the camaraderie. Heavy on the late night Taco Bell probably. 100%. Definitely draining two to three of those bottles that are at the crib waiting for just such an yeah. Heavy on the camaraderie. Heavy on the late night Taco Bell probably. Oh, God. 100%. Definitely draining two to three of those bottles that are at the crib waiting for just such an occasion. Sitting on the counter like a bowling alley. Oh.

Yeah. That's a Saturday. That sounds delightful. Yeah, just a Saturday. So check us out at that. We're all going to have a Saturday coming up. Miel Brado. Hi.

Podcast favorite. Friend of the program. Thank you. At Miel on Twitter. Thank you. Is just at Miel onado. Hi. Podcast favorite. Friend of the program. Thank you. At Miel on Twitter. Thank you. Is it just at Miel on Instagram as well? No, Miel Monster on Instagram. Oh.

Did you ever have like an AOL name that was Hot Miel? No, but that is my email now has a Miel male pun. Yeah. But it never occurred to me with Hot Miel. Email. Buggy Wuggy 92, I think. I wasn't born in 1992. I don't know why I chose that year. Buggy Wuggy 92 Hotmail Buggy Wuggy 92 I think I wasn't born in 1992 I don't know why I chose that year Why Buggy Wuggy?

I literally have no idea I didn't know what email was I just was like cool let's try this Hotmail sure It was like what 99 I don't know Sticky McJew Was my email screen name People emailed you at that?

No no that was just my instant message. You're still getting emails. Oh, that was AIM? Wait, did you say Sticky or Stinky? Sticky. Sticky Jew? That's even weirder. It's weirder.

Say the one you just said. IK Cool Jew was the email. That sounds like a hip hop name. Like LL Cool Jew. IK Cool Jew is good. Wait, so I know Cool Jew? Ian Carmel. Oh.

Ian Carmel Cool Jew. That one's good. Sticky was my nickname in football because I stuck people. Oh. That makes more sense. That makes way more sense than like a stick person. Or I was thinking like weed, sticky. And then the other part of it was.

You're of the tribe. Well, yeah. But also in third. 100% Jewish. Bar Mitzvah and everything. Yeah. Proud member of the tribe. I did not know that.

God's true chosen people. That's what keeps it fresh. We keep finding out new stuff about each other. Another layer to the big Jewish onion. That's right, yeah. And that onion, chopped up, put in some soup, maybe some matzo balls. It's a Jewish dish, David.

What else? Miel, do you have anything coming up? No. I'm just living, have anything coming up to... No. No. I'm just living, man. Just living. Hell yeah. Just out there fucking living.

Yep. Yeah. Rise and grind, baby. Oh, I like that too. Get money, paper chase. Do you have paper chase written on your mirror? Paper chase and lipstick. Paper chase to 2018.

That's what I wrote up there. I kiss it. So you've just decided to start living in phrases that might show up on t-shirts at Old Navy. Or at the boardwalk. Or the boardwalk. The boardwalk is so fucked up. Venice, are we talking? The Venice boardwalk.

Every boardwalk is the same. They're all the same. You know what trips me out when you're walking and they're like five t-shirts for $3 and you're like, what the hell? Who made those shirts? Are those shirts? Are those shirts? Are they napkins? It's like, are they just like the padding

they put in like boxcars when they do human trafficking? And it's like, we have to get rid of them anyway. I don't know what the deal is. The stuff that you peel away when you get a new pair of shoes? How else do they do it?

That was so oddly specific. The margins don't make sense. The margins don't make sense. The margins don't make sense. There's shady shit going on. I bet they're a bunch of Ross t-shirts. I think we should all just stop and watch Zeitgeist

right now and hit me all to the conspiracy game. This is a lot. Saturdays, I know Zeitgeist, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. We left out 6pm to midnight on Saturday. We did watch Zeitgeist on one of those Saturdays. We watched to as I guys. Yeah, you and I and maybe blue chips in that same day.

Whoa, that's a good day. Blue chips. I learned more about what you say. What do you say? Blue corn chips. What are you talking about? Blue chips. I don't know what that is.

Popular Nick Nolte vehicle. Yeah. Nick Nolte. Shaquille O'Neal. Shaquille O'Neal. Anthony Penny Hardaway. Anthony Penny. I've never even heard of it.

It's a basketball movie One of the best I'd say Really? Sounds like our Saturday is going to bleed into a Sunday now Bleed blue Just all night

watching it on repeat A lot of my favorite terms come from that movie Really? Like what? Friend of the program Friend of the program Neon Boudreaux

Yeah I say that often David will just walk into a room and bellow out Neon Boudreaux people know we had an impromptu Goodfellas session

the other day oh yeah that's always a treat I've never seen it but I dated a guy that had the entire poster tattooed on his entire back so I feel like I've seen it

how did that relationship go? what? oh badly yeah? no that didn't go so good is that when you worked at restaurants? yeah yeah I must have been yeah I was saying how did you not know to run away from the guy No, that didn't go so good. Is that when you worked at restaurants? Yeah.

Yeah, I must have been. Yeah, I was saying. How did you not know to run away from the guy with the Goodfellas? Because he had gotten it like 10 years earlier, so I thought maybe he had like grown. How old was he? I was wrong. He was like 30. Okay.

And he was like an artist. I was like 25. Oh, that's not good. If a redwood grows, it just becomes a bigger redwood though. That's the problem. He did grow. He just became more of a dude with a redwood grows, it just becomes a bigger redwood, though. That's the problem. He did grow. He just became more of a dude with a Goodfellas tattoo on his back. 100%. Is it better to have the tattoo on your back or on

your wall? Like, if I have a Scarface back tat, is it somewhere? It is worse. Way worse than a poster. I'm just testing the waters. Because if I move in with this person, I could at least take that poster down. Or at least relegate it to the den. At least put it

in a frame. Or fake sign it so it seems of value. Oh, Miel knows Ray Liotta. Yeah, we go way back. Which, by the way, you've never seen. Well, goddammit. Ray Liotta in the movie, for real, is 36 playing a 21-year-old. It's crazy. And he's a very old-looking 36, by the way.

Yeah, yeah. It doesn't yeah Ian pointed out Ray Liotta's never looked yeah he's never looked 21 he's never looked

that dude came out of the womb looking about 38 years old his face looks like a plane crash happened on it and they're maintaining the scene of the accident to still do some studies

like a Universal Studios the War of the Worlds set 100% he's like about as handsome as you can get and still have a fucked up face yes Ray Liotta

yeah I think that's the top of fucked up face handsome. Young Steve Buscemi is the other one. Ray Liotta and Steve Buscemi? Young Steve Buscemi kind of had it. I think Adrian Brody was pretty fine. I don't know who that is. Ray Liotta's way uglier than Adrian Brody. Oh, really? I don't know. Yeah. Ray Liotta and Steve Buscemi look like

they came out of the womb and they were immediately told that the Vig was way more than they thought it was going to be. The Vig is running since day one on the ship. And they're just immediately stressed. The Vig is up. Ray Liotta looks like he buys a hot ramen, eats the seasoning packets, and throws the noodles away.

Yeah, yeah. Just get me that sodium. The gnarly dude. He calls them energy packs. Did you ever eat ramen without cooking it? Yeah. Really? In a Ziploc with the seasoning.

You shake it, and then you break it up and eat it in chunks. No. That was my go-to basketball snack. Yeah. Yeah. You don't smoke weed. No. I mean, I definitely do some stuff

that begs for me to do things like that. I feel crazy that I've missed out on this because I've had ramen fried dyed, laid to the side. Yeah. I've been in the kitchen just like, I'm like, do I really? Wasting your time.

I need food right now. Yeah. You can eat those noodles. Yeah, you can just eat them. They're cooked and fried. All you're doing is like rehydrating them. They soften in your mouth a little bit. Have you tried it?

No, no. So how can you talk shit about it? I'm not talking shit. I'm skeptical. I'm very skeptical. It can turn to ramen in the pot or in your belly. In your belly, sure. Yeah.

It's going to do it either way. Put it in God's cooking pot? God's own crock pot. Oh, no. Yeah. I am not on board for this. God's chosen crock pot. You don't like calling your stomach God's chosen crock pot. Oh, no. I am not on board for this. God's chosen crock pot.

You don't like calling your stomach God's chosen crock pot? I can't say I do. No. I don't have any shows coming up either. If you're in LA, come see Good Looks. Yeah, go to Good Looks. The first Wednesday of every month. Hell yeah. That's the first time I ever saw you.

Did you know that? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, because I knew Andrew and he invited me. And I was like, who's the guy that he does it with? That guy's really funny. Yeah. I want to know him. You didn't say that to Andrew, did you?

I did, to his face. I was like, you were fine, but who's your friend? You're old news, Michonne. Yeah, yesterday's paper. I want tomorrow's internet. I was at your show at Riot LA a few years ago where they were giving out those THC sodas. And I got so fucked up. I did too. And then wand so fucked up. I did too.

And then wandered around downtown like a fucking maniac. Sprig. It was so dangerous. Sprig. I drank an entire sprig because I didn't know. I assumed like you're supposed to drink a whole one. Sure. Which why would they?

Why would they put it in a can and not make it anything different? That's a single dose. That's one dose. This is something you can screw back on. It should be one dose. I'm going to close the can. The woman told me you could drink it, no problem. She told me that to my face.

And we're all seasoned marijuana enjoyers. At that point. I take it in. That thing, if 100 is freaking out and I need to be alone, I was at 99. During your show? No, right at, wait, which show did you see me at? The Good Looks. No, I was fine at that one.

And then another comedian had an allergic reaction to something. So Dave Ross came out and asked me if I could do his show. And I was standing there. That's right. The world is vibrating. I was very calm. I was like, I'll do your show, but I need to tell you. I'm perhaps as stoned as I have ever been in my life.

I've unlocked a new level cool and then I went down I had like a really good set and then Canaan went up and he was as drunk as I was stoned and he had a really good set that was a great crowd

that was like that was like the opposite of cursed yeah what do you think a sprig would do to your boy you you

you're done hospital yeah really would I just be like listen I'm going you might just pass out I'm gonna agree with Ian I've only interacted with you just pass out. I'm going to agree with Ian.

I've only interacted with you about 10 times, but I'm 100% on Ian's team here. You would be hospital. I might be hospital. That might be two days. You would wake up in South Dakota and this all would have been a dream. That's what happens if you drink a drink. You'd wake up knowing all the lyrics to all the Grateful Dead songs even though you didn't listen

to them. Sure. Sure. I get it. You'd wake up with that Goodfellas tattoo probably. It's the kind of high that's fun later but in the moment very stressful. Scary.

Very unfun. I don't know how people do it for fun. How long is this going to last? I dropped my phone at a porta potty that night. I'd buy that. Yeah, I'd buy that.

And the worst part is I wasn't fazed by it. Oh, you're just like I just had it in the ocean once. You know what? That and a dime will get you a cup of coffee. I believe that all day. Yeah.

Yeah. And did you get it back? I've missed what you just said. I pulled it right out and kept using it. Whoa. That is the power of the sprig, dude. Yuck. Yuck.

Respect. That is a grimy move. That is grimy. She did it. I was more concerned with my friends outside thinking I was shitting because I was taking so long. So I was just like, you know what? It's fine. And like in what fucking world does that make any sense?

My phone definitely has feces like packed into the microphone jack. And I'm like, yo, I don't want my friends to think I shit. So that's what I do. The next day I bet you were hella happy that you still had your phone. Yeah, I don't know if I was that brave sober. You wouldn't have done that sober. That makes me think that maybe the Goodfellas tattoo guy broke up with you because he thought you were

too dangerous. Right? If that's the kind of behavior you're getting up to. He's not Goodfellas tattoo. She's shit phone. He's out there telling the story where you're a shit phone. I know the timelines don't quite match up. We blew this case wide open. Yeah, thank you.

And they never heard from the Hardy Boys again. I gotta tell one last story real quick before we jump into the draft. Thank you for the disclaimer. Yeah. I got stabbed. I went to the crate. What?

That's it. You just, you know, I got stabbed. And then anyway, so to start with the we so i was at the emmys and the listeners of the podcast i've been dropping some easter eggs in the podcast that i got nominated for an emmy it's true just a little little hints in between chips to the gym every fucking day every day going we i didn't win an Emmy, but other people from, because I was nominated for the Tonys,

people from the Late Late Show did win some Emmys, so we were at this big party afterwards, and I got stabbed in the head with an Emmy. What? Which was fucking crazy.

What? Did you lean into it? What happened? I went in for a hug with this dude who was holding his Emmy. He wrapped his arms around, and look,

you can see on my head. Oh, shit. There's like two. Turn further. Oh, no, that's a cut. Oh, dude. That's a little cut. No, for the listeners. Man's got stabbed with an Emmy. I didn't know this, but you were fucking bleeding. I was bleeding hard. I was bleeding quite a bit. Wait, did the person who stabbed you notice?

He was cracking up and so was I. We were both into our cups a little bit. We were celebrating. But I was like pouring blood from my head. I had to go to the bathroom and like stop the bleeding. That's intensity in Tent City, bro. That's the most L.A. story

I've ever heard. It was pretty fucking great. It was also about an inch from my eye, which is scary. You know how very few people that's happened? It's happened to like

six people probably. Six people. And I'm one of them. And I bet the other five won Emmys. I didn't even get a fucking Emmy. Yeah. That's really salt in the wound here. Somebody else's

Emmy. You will. Well, we'll see. I'm definitely going to steal the one I was stabbed with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The blood pact. Yeah, dude. You left it all on the field. Nobody else came out bleeding. No. Fucking. I bleed for this. That's a rite of passage. I think you just leveled up as an

Angelina. I think now I'm ready. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. Now I a rite of passage. I think you just leveled up as an Angelina. I think so too. Now I can get into the Ivy. Before we start, thank you so much to the listeners. This is our one year anniversary, which is crazy. True MVPs. It has been so much fun.

I've never had anyone give a fuck who I was ever in my life. And then now we go, well, I mean, I didn't want it to sound that bad I just meant to say that like if we go to a city I don't think it's gonna work

ain't nobody gave a fuck about me and I don't read books I ain't a snitch I don't tell all my friends that just went from like a Brian Adams song to like a Tech Nines song. Like, ain't nobody ever, never cared nothing about me. I don't make bucks.

I'm a psycho. Sean was standing up sharpening two machetes at the same time. On my arm. Crip walking, wearing a red bandana while he's sitting there. Where's your shirt at, Sean? That's what they call a paradox, Young G is silent. Two places to park a boat. I really wanted to hear the end of your sentiment. I just was gonna

say that every fan that comes up, anyone who's listened to this and thought it was fun, or like the kid just tweeted today, he was in a bad headspace, and this helped him out. That's fantastic. Oh my god, you guys are role models. Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't say that. They don't get to see the Saturdays. Oh, LL, you know what I'm saying?

Cautionary tales more than role models. Caution to the wind and airy tails. Oh! Absolutely. Earned yourself a chicken fried steak with that one. Today we are drafting. Oh, I have to try to find the person who suggested it. Today we are drafting music videos that you would like to spend the rest of your life in.

I'm going to die young in most of these lives. This hit me so hard. This was suggested by a listener at JoeWhitehead5. Hell yeah. Back on August 21, whose screen name is now Giuseppe Weaver. I don't know what the real truth is. Are you Joe Whitehead or are you Giuseppe Weaver? Or is it a little bit of both?

Because I'm Ian Carmel but my screen name is Rasheed Wallets right now. Yeah. How do you... You got one of the best screen name games in the business. That's what I've transitioned to comedy wise. You can just change it all the time? Yeah, anything you want. You can just do that now. Every time I'm like, who's this tweet? This is

funny. I don't follow this person. Oh, it's Ian. Rasheed Wallets. Yeah, I often am surprised by it. I'm like, what? Huh? Rasheed Wallets. Mendocino Carms. Oh, person. Oh, it's Ian. Rasheed Wallace. Yeah, I often am surprised by it. I'm like, what? Rasheed Wallace, Mendocino Carms. Oh, yeah. Farewell to Carms. Farewell to Carms. Neil Carmstrong.

I love Farewell to Carms so much. Carmed and Dangerous. It's too much change for me. I don't like it. Well, get used to it, because it's probably going to change again later tonight. That's true. To determine the order of the draft, we're going to play a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Sure. Play between the three of you. Uh-huh. You throw and shoot. That's true. To determine the order of the draft, we're going to play a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Sure.

Between the three of you. Uh-huh. You throw and shoot. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, so here we go. Shaker to you. The one-year anniversary of rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh, Miel wins. Oh, I win? Miel wins. Odd man out wins. Odd man out. Oh, I wasn't expecting this. Miel, that means you get to pick the order and I will remind you.

What type of giraffe is it? That's a great question. It's a serpentine giraffe. That's a really good question. Now, it begs for a little explanation. Miel, serpentine. You know what a snake is, I assume. I've heard of them.

Yeah, I'm not being crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. They live in baskets. It's sort of a lizard without arms or feet. Like, imagine the Garden of Eden. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. I was there. We'll go Garden of Eden. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that.

I was there. We'll go Garden of Eden. And the snake's going one way, immediately turns around, goes back the other way. They have the ability to do that. Serpentine is what it's called. Serpentine wave. In a way, those snakes really don't go in reverse. So I'm actually sure that does make sense.

Listen, let's not dig far too into it. If you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second. Just imagine you're hucking a tennis ball as hard as you can against the wall, screaming, fuck you, dude! You know? Yeah. And it just comes bouncing back. It's got to come back the way it came.

Yeah. Much like a serpentine draft. What will the order be? Boy, oh, boy. I think I want Ian to go first. Whatever, man. I want to go second. Oh, shit.

I want you to go third. I want Sean to go fourth. Okay. That's where I'm at. Well, fourth and fifth. Thanks for the fucking good spot. I just want to get yours out of the way fast. I really can't remember the last time I got to go first.

If you choose steal my sunshine, I'm leaving. Oh, my God. It's not. You don't think that looks like a fun day? You don't think it looks like a fun day all of a sudden? All of a sudden, hanging out with your friends On the fucking boardwalk With all those t-shirts

I honestly don't want to hear it I'm already out of patience You're out of patience for Steal My Sunshine already Were you here the last time we talked about Steal My Sunshine? I was and I was already out of patience I've reached my limit And I'm setting a boundary Sounds like somebody stole your sunshine a while back

Good fellow Sky He stole her sunshine a while back. It's a good fellow's guy. It's not for me. It was. He stole her sunshine, her Oxycontin. Her sunshine box. Surprisingly enough, her alarm clock. You're not going to need this. For the copper?

All right. So I get the first pick. You get the first pick. And with the first pick of the one year anniversary, all fantasy, everything, music videos that you would like to spend the rest of your life in, here's some things about me you need to know. I love a summertime. Yeah, yeah, I know. I love a barbecue. You do, you do.

I love hanging out with my friends. You do. All this checks out. I love a house party. Wait. Yeah, no, yeah, you do. I love a refrigerator that you open up that is just stacked top to bottom with ice cold 40s. You love what would have been my first pick, huh?

I love picking Ain't Nothing But a G Thing. Damn it! That's so good. Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. Yeah, yeah. I want to live there forever. I want to live there forever. Should have been.

I just want to dance my life for it. That is just a classic ass summer day. Put aside. Just like growing up in Beaverton. Just like growing up in Beaverton, Oregon. Just like growing up. Just like growing up. Just like growing up.

Yeah. It wasn't. I mean, the barbecues I would go to in southeast Portland with my mom's side of the family weren't that different. No, yeah. I believe you. I bet there was tons of beers. There were tons of beers.

All you need is a bunch of beers and a barbecue at a time? Sure. Dude, you go with the Jordan men and that's about what we're doing. Here's what I don't need from it. I don't need that guy taking the girls top down at the volleyball game.

That's not how... In fact, if I'm there, I'm being like, guys. Hey, hey. That's not even a lie. Volleyball's fun enough. That happened once

and it doesn't happen again. All right? Now who services it you all right serving 30 daz dillinger it's time for you but it's i mean it kind of it kind of goes back to what we were talking about like on with saturdays yes this music video is a fucking like the perfect example of one of those saturdays leisure leisure and there's not ledge pleasure and trash no violence you know it's just like is a fucking like the perfect example of one of those Saturdays. Leisure. Leisure. And there's not.

Lej, pleasure and trash. No violence. You know, it's just like a fucking day. Like, let's chill. Go do some outdoor stuff. Yeah. Throw down at the end of the night. Yeah.

Can I clarify a question about this draft? Yes. In this world you're living in, is the song continuously playing for the rest of the day? No, I think you just live in the world. So you're in the set as though it was real. Yeah, you occupy that world. They happen to be filming your day. And they're like, you know what?

Let's make that a music video. Good to know. But that's just what you do. Granted, the world that Ain't Nothin' But a G Thing happens in is like Compton in the early 90s. Sure, it's a tricky one. Which might be touch and go for me. It's not a beautiful day. But it's a beautiful thing happens in is like compton in the early 90s sure it's a tricky one which might be touch and go for me it's a beautiful day but it's a beautiful day it is it's the good day it might be touch and go it's the but it's the good day it's not every day's the worst it's this

world man no exactly exactly so just before anyone criticizes me for that either on twitter or in this room or on the couch. I got nothing bad to say. Here's the other cool thing about living in this world. You know all those hats and logos that are blurred out? Sure. I get to find out what's on there. I think some of them are pot leaves. I think it's a lot of pot leaves.

Oh, yeah. Snoop Dogg's wearing a pot leaf. But I've heard you talk about how much you hate that culture. What culture? Weed leaves on your clothes. Not when it's Snoop Dogg's hat. New weed culture. Yeah, new weed. If it's a weed Not when it's Snoop Dogg's hat. New weed culture. Yeah, new weed.

If it's a weed leaf on a young Snoop Dogg's hat, there's nothing I can imagine like anymore. You know how much I used to try to get the shit that they had like all those weed hats and my mom would just, she'd look at me like I was such a lunatic. Like I was sixth grade. I grew up in South Dakota.

Did you even smoke weed? No, man, I was 12. And I'd try to get hats, and she's like, absolutely no way you're going to be wearing that hat to school. And I'm like, what the fuck ever? Like, I was so to myself. What the flip ever, mom? When she came around, I'd be quiet.

She'd leave. I'd be talking again. Talking again? What the flip? Did you do that kid thing? She wouldn't let me go see Dangerous Minds on the way to the theater. She found out it was rated R, and she's like, oh, you can't go.

I started bawling. What? Bawling, screaming. Weren't you a little old for that? I was 12. Yeah, that's old. I was way too old. Way too old.

In front of my man, John Swanson. In front of him, who was hard. Not John Swanson. John Swanson's heart still is. What did you see instead? We went to Dangerous Minds. I cried hard enough. I won.

I won the Oscar. Are you kidding? I'm like suddenly so informed about your current character. I can't believe you told that story outside of the house. She buckled. She let me go. She buckled. Fine. Go see that weak fucking movie by the way. Was it worth it? Was your shame worth it? At the time, yeah.

You watch it again. That movie can't hold up a fucking straw. Dangerous Minds? It was a song. Yeah, hold up a fucking straw no it was a song yeah that movie was a song we were listening to the song at samples pastime paradise by stevie it's so much better it's so much better and also coolio didn't do much of a bite i mean or he didn't do much work on top of it it's like a pure bite thank you thank you to the wheel's not great no thank you to the god carmel for showing us that. I had no idea it existed. As long as it's in the key of life.

That was good. Man, Stevie. Yeah, so my first pick- None but a G thing. Ain't nothing but a G thing. Sure. Just because it just seems like the perfect fly ass day. You know what?

Normally your pick ain't nothing but a G thing, your first pick. Yeah. It's kind of like all a G thing that you do. It is all. I'm doing mostly G things. Yeah. Now, Miel. Yeah.

It's time for you to do a pick thing not great not a great transition a pick thing yeah i'm like i'm like okay oh nothing but a pick thing i get it i know that on the top this is gonna sound lame as hell but i'm confident well get ready for me to jump down your throat then i am that's what i'm preparing i i think with my like connection to it it it's it's valuable so i stand by it and i'm i'm choosing thriller oh that's what do you mean really jackson that's so scary that was on my list but so you want to live it in the graveyard at night i want to do so many things in that video this question is going to come up who are you in that because it's going to come up with someone who are you i want to be the girl you want to be are you? I want to be the girl.

You want to be the fucking girl? I want to be the girl, A, because she's fucking fine. Yes. And I want to look like that. A, B, was. Orange. She looks super cool, too. Oh, she looks so cool.

She had like hot pants on. Everyone in that video looks so fucking cool. He does, too. Michael looks like, he just looks awesome. He's all young and smiley. He's so fucking hot in that video. Oh my God, his one little tendril right in front of his face. He's a tendril?

What it's called? A tendril of hair. Okay, whatever. He's like one jerry curl, just like, woo, right here. Yeah, just the drip. Oh, and for me, I had a Laserdisc player growing up. Okay. What?

Well, look at you. You were one of the three. I was. Did you grow up in an elementary school classroom? Because that's the only place I saw a laser disc. That's my friend Julian Kongsley's house. Did my anatomy teacher, Ms. Buren, have you ever played in her? My dad was just like hard for every obsolete technology.

And it was like, at the time, he really thought it was going to be the next big thing. But he didn't really want to invest in the laser discs. So we had maybe three. But that was my only way of watching anything. How much was a laser disc? I actually don't know, but I want to say they were probably expensive. I bet you they were a lot. Did you have to flip it over in the middle?

Halfway through, yeah. Trust me, yes. Like a record. Those things were huge, too. If you got attacked by zombies, like what takes place in this music video, you could just hop Laserdiscs. Whips out of them. All three of them.

Yeah. All three of them. All three of those Laserdiscs. We had The Abyss, we had Rob Roy, and we had Michael abyss we had rob roy and we had michael jackson's greatest hits i mean that's a pretty good variety yeah it is but as like a what like eight year old i was like all about michael jackson's greatest hits i was homeschooled i did not have tv so i would just watch that fucking music video over and over and I also separately had somehow

gotten my hands on a copy of House of Wax which I would watch religiously the popular Paris Hilton vehicle no and I developed a huge crush on Vincent Price I can't explain it you weird weird

I was eight this is so interesting you thought I was going to jump down your throat for the pic but it's just your backstory you have bonkers a huge crush on Vincent Price I don't know he's my first crush it was like I came into my sexuality to Vincent Price I can't explain it

but he just was like he was so mysterious and his voice was so buttery and he had that like amazing mustache. And I was just like a man who gets it. I'm into it. You go wash up after dinner. Otherwise, I'm taking on all your Vincent Price posters. I'll hear nothing else.

So like when I saw the thriller video, I recognized his voice and I was like, my man. And then everyone was so. Was your dad just white knuckle like what are you my dad if you couldn't tell from the laser disc player was clearly off playing racquetball that is not i couldn't i couldn't tell i can't tell anything that you're gonna say this is some sort of crazy You say it like it's literal But this is island people Like I don't know what you're saying

Dad can I watch 10 minutes of the abyss before bed please No well he did give us chess timers To clock how much TV we watched in a week So I had to clock in to watch the laser disc Did the flipping count Did you get to stop when you flipped That's good You had to flip the abyss twice.

You know that. Oh, dude. It was brutal. It was really long. And for the longest time, I thought that that VHX, like, I thought that was the beginning of that movie. I didn't know that. Oh, you didn't know that was the sound test at the top.

Uh-huh. Yeah. I was an idiot. Oh, I could see that, though. If that's like the first movie that you saw with that in it. Yeah. Yeah. I used to think the movie, I forget what it was though. If that's like the first movie that you saw with that in it. Yeah. Yeah. I used to think the movie, I forget what it was.

Ernest. Scared Stupid? No, Ernest Goes to Camp, I think. I used to think that Orion logo was the start of that movie. I think is what it was. Yeah. Yeah. I remember Orion.

Maybe that or Devil in a Blue Dress. But yeah, the Orion logo, I thought, was the part of a movie. Wait, that was another movie you watched a lot as a little kid? Thriller. What about this world do you want to live in for the rest of your life? Everything. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I fucking love spooky shit. I love it. It's fun and mysterious. You're just out walking and you're like,

who's this guy now? I just love the whole aesthetic. I love the fog. I love that there's zombies. I love the feeling of being scared. I chase that feeling. You're selling me. You're selling me. I love the costuming. I love imagining being in that world. I would love to be Michael Jackson's girlfriend in that video. There's a lot

to pass down. If you have the soul for getting down, too, you'll be fine. That's what I'm saying. And they break it out. They're nice guys. They know how to dance. They can't be mean. It's like those who forever shall be found without the soul for getting down. I'd just be worried about that funk of 40,000 years. Oh, the funk of

40,000 years. I don't like the funk of four days could be bad about that funk of 40,000 years. Oh, the funk of 40,000 years. I don't like the funk of four days could be bad news. The funk of like a night, like Zach Toscani made spaghetti and meatballs the other day. I saw that. It's the story. And just the funk of after eating spaghetti and meatballs, the whole house stinks like garlic still. That's the funk of one afternoon. Smells like we just had a vampire torture session in there.

Like we killed a vampire over like a week. Jesus. Just with like just a smidge and a garlic every 10 seconds. You think you'd be okay in this scenario. I would love it. You'd remain unscathed. I think you have to assume that if I'm choosing to put myself in this world, I know what to expect, right?

You're like fucking the vampire slayer. You could be tough in that world. I'm not going to kill him. Are you kidding? I know how to dance. I want to be friends with him. She wants to dance with the- Yeah. Okay. I want be tough in that world. I'm not going to kill him. Are you kidding? I know how to dance. I want to be friends with him. with the... Yeah.

Okay. I want to be in that world forever. I want to see that move where you pull up your sleeve. Yeah. I love that goofy haunted house shit. I wish there was a thing

for adults where I could be blindfolded and stick my hand in a bowl of killed grapes. I fucking agree. Really? Yeah, we were just talking about having a Halloween-ass month.

We're going to have a Halloween-ass October. Oh, shit. It's so fun and I want to live in it i want to go on the hayride close yeah we're doing like a haunted house situation yeah we're gonna carve we're gonna carve pumpies i'm down for the pump i'm down i'm down to slice a pump here's we're gonna we're gonna slice a pump and we're gonna scoop them guts and i'm gonna toast us up some pumpkin seeds okay yeah i love it and then watch a scary movie with only people that really want to watch a scary movie and light some candles and shit.

Yeah. Light some candles. Hell yeah. See, I want to live in that world forever. That's why I watch this thriller. I get it. You want to live in Halloween for it. I do.

You're Jack Skellington. That's cool. That was my favorite movie of my whole childhood. So yeah, that's me. Thanks for listening. No problem. You've charmed me all right i'm on board david boy it's time for your first pick i gotta go with the first pick that even popped

into my brain when i found out that we were doing this uh the video is by a young man named cameron featuring another young young man named jules santana. Sure it is. And the song is called Hey Ma. Oh, hey ma. What's up? Oh, God. Forever? We go get it on the night. Just wearing leather basketball jerseys of obscure JCC teams from the 50s and 60s with my friends.

I would be Jules Santana because he was the same age as me, roughly. And they let him in the club in the 60s with my friends i would be jules santana yeah because he was the same age as me roughly and they let him in the club in the beginning remember they're like you can't get in the club and then cam comes in and all this pink glory because that's the camera yeah that is bright pink camera that was like pink cam oh man oh yeah you got it on tonight they did a little two-step in that video it was just giant jerseys as far as the eye could see. Oh, man. That was a great song. They're pulling like Chris that.

They just have whole swimming pools full of Chris Allen ice and everything. That would be fun. What year are we talking? There's a hot tub. Party forever, baby. Party forever. Rapper party forever. Do you get a hangover in that world?

No. Oh, no, because I'm drinking champagne. forever. Rapper party forever. Do you get a hangover in that world? No. Oh no because I'm drinking champagne. You can't get a hangover when you're wearing a Kevin Johnson all-star throwback. Yeah.

But you don't shave in the leather. doesn't give you hangovers. Hell fucking yeah. Yeah. I get it. Yeah Cameron. I get it.

We'd definitely be smoking weed a bunch. It would just be the best. I'm really glad you specified a bunch because at first I was like just once? No a bunch of times. I'm watching I got specified a bunch, because at first I was like, just once? No, a bunch of times.

I'm watching. I got this video on now on the laptop, and there is a lot of your aesthetic in here, like the towel. Yeah. I can see you having a towel under a hat, dude. Towel under a hat? Nobody's judging me. Is that for sweat?

It's for a lot of things. Okay. It's just for moisture. It's just for moisture. It could be from anything. It could be. Big white t-shirts. It could be just to wave it around. Sometimes moisture it could be from anything it could be big white t-shirts like it could be just to

wave it around like sometimes I want to tell it just to get bucked with like a helicopter I really think that the Hey Ma video and be Jules Santana

be the young gun in the crew yeah he wasn't even allowed to get in the club now when you spell Jules but he's 18 and he lives a crazy life

is it with an S or a Z that you're spelling Jules that's with a Z oh okay I'm just letting everyone know. Oh, okay. Dave was looking at me like I just hit him. Yeah, I was really upset.

It's with a Z. They really are wearing leather basketball jerseys. They're wearing leather basketball jerseys. Your skin would be like stained from that tanning, I feel like. Well, I- Directly on flesh. No, in that world, I have a million throwbacks. Oh, hell yeah.

I just pull one out. You're not even capable of it. Now I'm watching this, too. There's a dude. There's a couple different characters in here. There's a woman with a unibrow who gets hated on. I feel like you could scoop in. You know what I mean?

I flip it. Show her there's a different world for her. And then she hangs with the crew. Yeah, exactly. Now she's got a leather jersey. Exactly. Unibrow, leather jersey. You're going to fuck with that?

Now that's the fucking look. She kind of looked like A$AP Yam's Rest in Peace. Exactly. Unibrow. Leather jersey. You going to fuck with that? Now that's the fucking look. She kind of looked like A$AP Yam's Rest in Peace. Yeah, Yambergini. That's the evolution of A$AP Yambergini. Man. Yeah. Yambergini. I could really live in Hey Ma forever.

We had a whole like, we put on throwbacks the other day. That was a great day. And just put on arena entrance music and just sort of like jumped out and high-fived each other. Did you choreograph it? No, but we just came into the crib but we knew

it was not a it was more of an intuitive choreograph. Okay, yeah. Interpretive. It wasn't we didn't like get together and be like alright

then it's gonna be like a Fosse, Fosse, Fosse and then whatever. No, it was like you just kind of understood. Yeah, you know what was it just it built. You could feel it building.

So we do do stuff like that. Yeah, it's like the Manhattan Project. We're going to have a Halloween of October. Oh, yeah. And we have a little choreographed throwback Jersey Sessions. Hell yeah. Then there's going to be, it might even be a Christmas-ass December. Yeah.

Ooh, mulled wine. With a brief Hanukkah-ass weekend in that. I'm with it. Oh, man. Yep. Eggnog. Egnog. God, where did Cameron even get get that light light pink yankee

hat i don't even know how he figured it out i don't i don't even know how he figured it out he was just in the house one day like i'm just gonna be the pink guy like yeah it's just there's so many it's just that he was so far ahead of everything. They still look cool. They still look cool. He had a pink Range Rover. Yeah. He had pink earrings. He had pink everything. It was all pink.

He had like a canary burgundy or some shit he called him. He had a giant old woman named Matilda. Like Barbara Bush. Giant diamond. I feel like Cameron hit some old Broadway Chanteuse from the 1940s but she passed away and he hit her estate sale

and bought everything. He was just like, yeah. Take those fur coats. Yeah, we're gonna incorporate this. Holy buckets. That made me laugh. Yeah. Made me laugh real hard right there, bud. She was in the South Pacific, you know?

Yeah. Come Up was back then. Yeah. Oh, boy. Shout out to the visionary that is Cameron. Uh-huh. For real. He really did it all.

Also, the flip side of the AMR video is there's like a spa scene and a hot tub. So if you don't want to chill, there's that. Yeah, you can. Oh, yeah. Yeah, go ahead and chill. I just want to relax. Excellent pick. And that brings us to

Sean Jordan with a back to back picks first and second round so my first pick is Serpentine Dread I'm a man I like I like to be in a good mood I like easy going you know I like a simpler time

and so I'm going to pick Buddy Holly by Weezer I like you simpler time. And so I'm going to pick Buddy Holly by Weezer. Oh. I like. You mean happy days? I mean happy days. I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind living in that world.

I feel a little bit like David is looking down his glasses at you. I'm not looking down. I'm just saying. You want to be Potsy, go be Potsy. That's why I picked it, my friend. Buddy Holly from Weezer. Buddy Holly from Weezer. Who are you in that

scenario? It is full happiness. I'm just one of the kids having a milkshake, watching Weezer with my girl. We're going to split a burger. You're not like a main character. Everything's hunky-dory. We're not going to think about the Cold War at all. We're just going to shield ourselves

from that. Russia's far away, baby. I've always wondered what that world would be like. Just that simple, like, just everything is just so simple. Nobody worries about anything. I do have to raise one point. Skateboarding hasn't been invented yet in this world. Also, they hate minorities. It's definitely more comfortable for Sean than this video.

Ian's a Jew and I'm black. You don't get to hang out with us. Oh yeah. We're in a different music video. We're not at Arnold's. Yeah. We're at Chucky's across the street. I'm going to tear down some fucking walls in this world.

I'm not going to that. Someone had. I saw how that worked. I don't think you get to change the narrative of the video you choose. You have to live within the narrative that was established. That was my understanding. Listen, you want a milkshake. You want it simple.

I'm just fucking with you. It just looks like a simple little time. I mean, they'll get grimier as we go on. You don't have to get grimier. You can stay light. We're going to go places. I'm fluffing cotton candy over here. Don't worry about me.

I'll throw out a different timeline than you've even proposed here. Excuse me. Because you're saying I want to live in the 50s. Yeah. I want to wear a sweater. I've always been fascinated with that little chunk. I want to openly say racist terms and everyone's okay with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get the world you're going for. See, now there's where it gets a little bit hazy. Oh, is that not right? You can't have one without the other. Because I don't remember saying that specifically. Oh. Yeah. See, that's where the water, they get a little murky. It felt implied.

Is murky one of those terms? It wasn't. Oh, okay. She's taking one of those murkies. What do you mean you want to walk through the park? It's a little murky, Susan. Susan, I don't know if we should.

I feel like you're watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and laughing too loud at the wrong parts of the scenario. Susan, it's a little dark out over there. I don't... Here's a potential alternate timeline. It's 3 p.m., Sean. It's dark early in that neighborhood, sweetheart. Or do you always want to live on the set

of the television show Happy Days? Cocaine. Ron Howard. Joanie. Chachi. Let me just throw some things, see if they stick. Cocaine. See if you like any of these. Cocaine. Well, I mean, if you choose the Happy Days intro, is that a

music video? I'll tell you what I chose is Buddy Holly by Weezer, and I was pretty clear about my choice. I'm just trying to help you workshop this to be a little less offensive. I don't think of it as offensive. I didn't think to myself, hey, I want to be a racist prick. That's not what I thought.

Throw some minorities at me and I'll tell you the total amount of them. Are you watching the Buddy Holly video? Just throw them out. I'm sweating.. I'm sweating. Throw them out. Now I'm sweating. Dave, you want to know how many black people are in this video?

Ben! There's zero black people in the whole video. Maybe behind camera. I don't know. Yeah, working. Maybe working. I see no people of any part of the continent of Asia. I mean, take a pick.

I'm talking from the shores of Micronesia. Are there any Filipinos in there? All the way. What about one of the U.S. embassies, maybe? No, well, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are some people who look like they did some time overseas. I do see a couple Jews.

Are you sure? No, I'm not sure. I don't know how to ask what's next, but you can spot him. I see Henry Winkler. Jew, but playing Arthur Fonzarelli. Very Italian. Not a Jew. He's actually in that?

Yeah. Well, his, yeah. Yeah, that was his thing. The whole Happy Days cast is in that video. I'm literally only watching this over eating shoulder. I don't remember this video at all. It is whiter than whoever came up with Chislik. Listen.

No, it's okay. We get it. We get it. We get why you chose that. What do we get? We get that I'm a racist dickhead? Is that what we get? No, no, no, no. You're just really white.

No, no. You just want to be where everyone's white. Do I need to tell that goddamn story about getting beat into a gang? Is that what I need to tell? Sean is the only one who knows in the Crips. Or that you really wanted to wear Plink's white. Do I need to tell that goddamn story about getting beat into a gang? Is that what I need to tell? Sean is the only one who knows in the Crips. Or that you really wanted to wear Plinko suits. Yeah, I remember.

I grew up already. It doesn't get to happen. I already wasted my shot. It does look like you can get a real nice patty melt. I bet it's the best patty melt. Oh, yeah. And that I like. And like a milkshake in a tin can.

You guys, you're missing for what I'm going. I'm going for good vibes here. Now, I apologize if that came off as a racist dickhead vibe. Now, pick number two. No, I would see,

I sincerely, I sincerely think you would thrive in that environment. Yes, he's a white man. I'm guessing he would as well. Listen, you could be that girl sharing a milkshake

with me. You're playing cards right, sweetheart. No, I got armpit hair. I don't think I would be allowed in that diner either. You're not going to have that girl sharing a milkshake with me. You play your cards right, sweetheart. No, I got armpit hair. I don't think I would be allowed in that diner either. You're not going to have that revealing of a shirt on. It's never going to matter. Yeah, my slutty little ankles will be...

Slutty little ankles. What a great band name, though. Slutty little ankles. Slutty little ankles, my pointy little tits. I love it. Pootle little skirt. Sean, it. Pootle in a skirt. Sean, it's time for your second pick. Second pick.

I remind you, Screwdriver does not have any official videos. My second pick is going to be What About Your Friends by TLC. Which is another world I want to live in where they're just fucking happy. It's wildly different from Buddy Holly, but they're too happy. That is a good era TLC.

Can I say that if you would have picked that first and then gone with Buddy Holly, I bet we would have avoided all of it. I just can't. I didn't even. Right. In hindsight hindsight being 2020 you know I get it but also like

you're literally wearing glasses that make you look like Buddy Holly like that's a lot to take in at once which is a compliment from where I'm sitting

sure I'm just saying you look exactly like that's the video you'd choose so it was like a first choice maybe

no it for sure was I picked it I definitely did pick it you guys can all go fuck yourselves i picked it first hell yeah that's what i'm screaming fight back fuck us uh tlc what about your friends condom on the eye i dude i wanted to dress like tlc i mean i wanted everything to be cross colors every single thing suspenders right yeah and they just everything was huge they were dancing he was had those ridiculous hats so to doubt. And they had just, everything was huge. They were dancing. He was having those ridiculous hats.

So did Alec Leff. They all had those ridiculous hats on. And I feel like- Those weird like clown hats. I feel like that song is like you. Like, what about your friends? Are they going to be around? They're just having a good time.

Everyone's dancing. There's paint everywhere. There's paint everywhere. When we were in middle school, my friend CJ, I highly doubt anyone's going to pick the other song that they want to live in. It was that or Creep by Radiohead. And we were debating which song he should have in the background

while he called this girl he had a crush on. This was the TLC song? And I was pushing for that. What did you choose? I was pushing for this because I was like, you're going to sound awesome if this is playing. And the other one, you're going to sound like a bummer. You're going to sound awesome. Left Eye playing and the other one you're gonna sound like a bummer left eye bars

what are you talking about it is so 90s this video is that why you chose it because you want to live in the 90s forever big part of the reason yeah the 90s are absolutely my favorite time of life yeah well you're a 90s kid right I can see you hanging out in a lot of these situations

stoked yeah I could see you hanging out in a lot of these situations. Stoked. Yeah. I could see you in that video. I just felt that I had all the cross colors. I could see you in that video skateboarding and doing a kickflip by. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like a lot of that in music videos.

To like hide the cut. Yeah, just like kickflip. You're wearing a cross colors tuxedo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you like do a crazy big hat. Yeah. Oh, my God. I was about to say the big floppy hat

and then I pie face Usher out of the way and I get with Chili whatever and ever why is Left Eye just in a fucking red wagon

dude Left Eye fucked around with her fashion choices she's probably on some stuff she's wearing so many condoms yeah

that was her I mean you know that's how I learned about safe sex I didn't know what safe sex was but I knew that TLC was about safe sex

condom over the left eye man that's her name they were so fucking cool they were really cool T-Boz might be the coolest person I learned about safe sex I didn't know what safe sex was but I knew that TLC was about safe sex they were so fucking cool T-Boz might be the coolest person ever they still I don't know I haven't heard that new album but from what I hear it's alright anybody hear it? anybody fuck with it? you mean the T and the

yeah TC anybody hear the new TC album? no I didn't what's that kanye westler oh now i'm living next to tc that's tom cruise whatever he accused that's i love kanye but that's not one of his stronger lyrics he's got like probably 30 of those where you're just like who the fuck let that slide you're lucky you're lucky you're such a good producer, buddy. Now I'm living right next to where TC lived. That's Tom Cruise. Whatever he accused.

He ain't really drunk. He just had a frue bruise. Fru bruise. See, that's great. I love that one. What does frue bruise mean? It's like how you would say a few bruise if you were drunk. Yeah, if you're all.

He just had a frue bruise. So he just changed the narrative of being a sober guy to a drunk guy, but only for two words. That's a stretch for me. Well, why don't you tell Kanye himself? Because he's got nothing but allies in this world. Is he a friend of the podcast? Yeah, big time friend of the podcast.

Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. Shane Torres' enemy, Kanye's on the other side. They can't even see each other. He's never seen a sampler powder. They're actually standing back to back. That's how far. They have to go around the goddamn flat world.

Can you imagine a picture of Shane and Kanye West back to back? Oh, my God. I'd be so excited. The way Shane's life is turning out. Yeah. Yeah. That would be the best. Wouldn't that be?

Yes. I wouldn't even. Because you'd be like, how did these two guys. Where did they go? You know what would be the thing is Shane wouldn't know Kanye was behind him. He'd be like, I didn't know until I saw the photo. There is. Yes, he'll see. You know what would be the thing is Shane wouldn't know Kanye was behind him. I didn't know until I saw the photo. They're hanging out in some industrial areas, but I can see you making the best

of that. You know, I give it a shot. Maybe he's like a worker in one of those factories behind them. I got a job. I'm on the come up. You're all working, man. You know, I punch a card. I'm like, what are you guys? But I'm kind of trying to work here. I'm in a good mood after work. After putting doors on Chryslers all day.

This looks fun. What about your friends? Yeah, hanging out on fire escapes, shit like that. Maybe get tetanus. Smoking a jazz cigarette, maybe? Ooh, a Lucy, a jazz Lucy. Yeah, I got a left-handed cigarette. I get a little too drunk and go to the top.

Absolutely. Pee off of it. Pee right off it. Oh, man, you're going to really fucking drive me. Yeah, you're going to get kicked out of that video, dude. Don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. Take one of left-eyed cond gonna get kicked out of that video dude no no no no take one of left eyes condoms pee into that

Buddy Holly's shooting right next door so I'll just go into that video and you know sure did you say segregate right back to Buddy Holly by next door you mean across the tracks kind of clears up oh man

David it is time for you to take your second pick I'm building an obsessive hama the crazy thing is that I was gonna take a TLC song from the same era but now I'm like well I was also but I'm not? But now I'm like. Well, no, because somebody might still take it. Well, I was also, but I'm not going to now, so.

But I'm not going to either. I was. So you can mention it. Well, I might. Who the fuck? You guys don't know what I'm playing with over here. You're going to back-to-back TLC it? You don't know me.

You are. Your mind is a wonderland. Which segues into my curve. John Mayer. No! I saw John Mayer the other day. I was at Plan Check over on Fairfax. It's a restaurant.

And I saw a buddy of mine at a table with another dude whose back was to me. And I walked over to Jensen, friend of the podcast. It was just on the last one. He motioned me over. And I went over and said hello. And he was just sitting there with John Mayer. How crazy. Yeah. And he was just sitting there with John Mayer crazy yeah and he was like

hey I'm John you know I was like hi I'm Ian I didn't do the thing where I'm like I know who you are which is the other move

those are the two moves I think you fucked up you think I should have gone I know who you are he's one of the best guitar players ever that doesn't mean no he's not

stop you don't know enough guitar players I don't know any he's not even top 20 I don't know any line He's not even top 20. I don't know any linebackers either. I could tell you fucking Lawrence Taylor was a good one. No,

he is amazing. He's incredible, but he's absolutely not top 20 best guitar player. While maybe being a little hyperbolic, I don't even know if I said top 20. I said he's one of the best players ever. One of the best? He can't be the top thousand.

That's one of the best. That's too general. There's 7 billion people on earth, and he's one of the top 10,000. I mean, that does make him one of the best. Fair enough. Fair enough.

It depends on how, you know. I'll just sit over here until I'm spoken to, David. No, I don't. Anyway, I met John Mayer briefly. I'm really happy for you, dude. You had a huge week. Yeah, it was good. I made fun of his shirt one time at the Arclight.

What did he think? I think that he heard me. Yeah. Wait, you didn't say it to him the Arclight. What did he think? I think that he heard me. Yeah. What did you say to him? What kind of shirt was he wearing? Dude, it was like a button-down camel green shirt. I'm in. But it like button-downed all the way to his knees.

It was like the- Was he wearing pants? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. It was like billowy. It was dumb. I was like, that's a stupid fucking shirt. And then he turned around and it was John Mayer. Shit.

He's out there taking risks. Yeah, did you see he tried to hit on Nicki Minaj on Twitter? Oh, yeah. I thought that went kind of well, though, didn't it? Did it go well? She was like, is my body a wonderland? Would my body be a wonderland? Yeah. So I don't know. She said, no, that's Jennifer Love Hewitt. Is that who that song's about?

She was in the video, right? I don't remember. I don't know John Mayer that well. He's one of the, I'll tell you, He's one of the best guitar players in the world. I'll tell you a little bit about him. Okay, who's your pick, David? Oh, my pick is Candy Rain by a group called Soulful Real. Oh, I don't know that one. What's it like?

What? My love, do you ever dream of candy? I love Do You Ever Dream of Candy. I know this song. Yeah. Watch the video. It is just like the perfect 90s video of them behind the scenes. Like a bunch of candids of them in different colored cream suits. Yeah.

As a kid, I would watch that video. It just looked like they were having the best time. Yeah. To be just young, black, and talented, man. Is that who you are in the video oh I'm one of the kids my whole life's ahead of me I'm wearing head

to toe fucking cream in 96 with no stains on it and it never will get one my cream will never fade dress denim cream dress denim cream like they used to pull out for you. Those clothes are huge.

And their cream, it's like something you'd wear to the Source Awards in 1989. Or like a funeral to somebody you don't like that much. Yeah. Wait, you said their cream color at a funeral, that'd be someone you hate, right? Yeah, can't you wear cream to a funeral? No. If you hate the person you're celebrating with. Your mortal enemy.

Yeah. You can wear whatever can wear whatever i don't know the cream rules really i know that it rules everything around yeah yeah the actual rule well honestly in this video you definitely could wear that to a funeral i would wear it everywhere it's kind of a summertime look i mean in this video here's what it is i'm in the music video yeah i'm a member of this hit up- coming band called Soul For Real. My childhood girlfriend is there because one of those kids was like 20. She's in the trailer just watching me. Maybe we fool around. We smoke

a J. We drink in the trailer. Then I come out. I shoot my video. It's just great. You drink flavored vodka probably? Yeah. Yeah. But I never get a hangover. Vanilla Stoli to match what you're wearing? Yeah. You can't wear cream and not have vanilla.

You can't wear cream without the bean. You probably got a vanilla candle burning. Oh, shit. It's vanilla brown sugar vibes. Yeah, with three wicks. Dangerously close to caramel. Close, but not quite. No, yeah, not quite.

Yeah, Sean, he regretted it the second he said it. Nope, not quite. I might have been stepping a little bit. Close, but not quite. No, yeah, not quite. Yeah, Sean, he regretted it the second he said it. Nope, not quite. I mean, I was stepping. I might have been stepping a little bit. Maybe I want some caramel. He's overcompensating. He heard all this talk about white stuff. Or maybe it's a little caramel, a little overcompensation.

It was a reach. Maybe somebody spilled like white paint all over the ground or something, you know? I do love the like, because the little back behind the scenes stuff in that video it's like oh shit this is like their real life it's like yeah it's like half making the video half we're behind the scenes exactly we're making a little money everything's ahead of us tevin campbell right was he not in soul for real no tevin campbell was his own he was he wasn't in there wasn't there a hit hit maker in there no none of those kids went on to do anything. I thought Tevin Campbell was one of them. No, I think one of the guys from Jodeci founded them or something.

Okay. There's a tangled web with all that. 90s R&B was crazy. It was a fast. Okay. Yeah. Not even one of them has their own Wikipedia. No, they didn't do good.

But in your world, they're popular forever. Wikipedia's not even around yet. We're drinking Surge sodas. The whole world's ahead of you still. Rollerblading. There's still a group. Are you serious? Where do they play? We should see it now.

Ribfest in Minot. Are they playing Ribfest in Minot? There's Jason, who's Jace for real. I'm glad he clarified. Are they all goingfest in Minot? There's Jason, who is Jace for real. I'm glad he clarified. Okay, are they all going to be for real like Bone? He pursued a solo career. He has his own independent entertainment production company, Jace Makers Music, LLC. He wrote this with a media page.

Yeah, you could just do that. Chris Chalk. Not a lot of info about him. He hangs out with Chone. Brian. That was off air, wasn't it? Brian. Oh, yeah.

We were talking about Chone off air. Chone Figgins. Brian opened Naomi's Caribbean Cuisine. Oh, okay. So you can go eat at his restaurant in Atlanta. Oh, get it. Okay. And Andre opened Uncle Dre Day Embroideries, LLC.

Wait. What? An embroidery company? Like furniture or clothes? It says embroideries. That man's done it all. Maybe whatever. What an interesting person.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was in an R&B group in the 90s. Now I embroider. This is why you want to be- Found my zen. In the Candy Rain version of this world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, not today. Because it's before everything went wrong. The world was still ahead of him. Before one of them had to pretend he got really into Caribbean food. He was like, no, that's my real passion now. And the big thing was too. In 96, they were going to be the Beatles. They didn't know.

Yeah. We didn't know. It was pre-9-11. Yeah, it was pre-everything. You know how in the Tribe Called Quest documentary when like, it's not Jerobe. Who is it that gets really, is it Jerobe who got really into cooking? Oh, I said yes too soon. It might have been.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, that's my passion now. I'm like, no, it's not. It's never. You were in a world famous rap group. You are a rapper. Cooking will never fill that void.

No. I mean, I want you to be happy, but like, yeah. I don't know. Cooking's pretty fun. Is it as fun as being in a tribe called Quest? No. Can't speak to that. There's no way cooking is as fun as rapping.

There's not. It's done both extensively. Maybe there were no good snacks on the tour bus, and now he never has to worry about that again. Your medallion's getting in the marinara sauce you're making. That's my biggest issue. Saucy medallion problems. I got to tape them down.

Yeah. I tape it down when I cook. I throw them over my shoulder like when you see a lawyer eating lunch. Like a Continental Soldier. What? Chain hang low is my next pick. Oh. Who was that?

Jibs. Do your chain hang low is that your chain didn't like a legit rapper get on the remix of that yeah i think so it was a weird time that jibs when was that also who samples an ice cream chuck like that was very jibs jibs a hit maker jibs answered it was jibs a visionary i made a mistake i apologize for asking that question you're not gonna make a mistake with your next pick make a steak make a steak baby

make a steak with your next pick it's time for your second pick boy I am so conflicted because there's two that basically serve the same purpose

and I don't I really don't know which one to choose the one I don't think anyone here will know but well but it feels a little closer to my heart so i think i gotta go with my gut pick it with your heart but

you might be able to get that one later too i'm gonna strategize i don't think anyone's gonna choose my picks probably not i was gonna pick a tlc one but now it just feels tired i saw buddy holly written on david's note cards. I use note cards. What the fuck are you talking about out here? Jeez Louise, kid. Jeez Louise. I'm thinking I have to go with my gut, and I got to go with Robin, call your girlfriend. Oh, we know that.

Nope, I'm thinking of something completely different. Call your girlfriend. Are there two Robins or are they the same Robin? One Robin. One Robin. And she's been around since like the 90s. Okay. And she's still killing it.

That's her. Yeah, because she had like a renaissance and now she did like techno music or techno-ish, right? Yeah, she's been doing like electro pop forever. She's Swedish. So she's been over in Europe like consistent. Just killing it. But she had this one video, I want to say like six years ago, Call Your Girlfriend.

And the song itself is a fucking banger. The song is amazing. But the video is all one take in a warehouse, just her in this crazy fucking outfit doing the most insane dance sequence in one take I have ever seen. And that's you. I have spent so many hours. I have probably burned at least 5,000 calories dancing along to that video,

trying to figure out that choreography. At one point, she does a backwards somersault, and then straight into aggressive pelvic thrusting the ground. Is she of a gymnastics background? No, dude. She's just Swedish? She's wearing platforms that are like eight inches high. She has a flippin' platform?

Yeah, dude. Her outfit, it looks like she skinned a sheep and then turned it into a puffy, and that's the outfit she's wearing. It's crazy as fuck, and it's so iconic, and every time I see it, I'm like, I really wish that was my life. I really wish that I could dance like that. You want to be alone in a warehouse and you want that to be the rest of your life.

Sometimes I get to choose five. So this is definitely fulfilling that side of me. So there's a part of you that just wants to be solo. Dude when you're okay when you're like alone and maybe you're listening to music like getting ready to go out or whatever, tell me maybe you don't

dance a little bit, right? Oh, absolutely. Maybe sometimes you're kind of like, man, I wish this looked really cool. You catch yourself in the mirror and you're like, I really wish I actually knew how to dance, but only for this moment. For me, it kind of does look cool. See, not for me. Are you sure?

I'm all arms, dude. I think you're playing yourself out. I can do a nice figure eight with my hips, but then my arms are just wiggling around like a scarecrow. Like, it's not good. And people know that about me, so they like going out with me because it's just, like, fun. But just personally, I wish that maybe I could actually just, like,

blow the roof off once and just be like, ha-ha! I feel like you're overthinking it. No, I mean, literally, it's like my friends know me as the one that just can't dance can i tell you a story please my uh sweet buddy ziki greenbacks little zeke greenwald young poet in training shout out to zeke he lives in berlin uh he has crohn's disease terrible dancer on paper looks like he's hurting and he's very thin he's a thin thin boy yeah right but we would go to motown on mondays so i could dance with big ladies yeah me and andrew moore at the shortstop no this is in san francisco this place called madrone art bar okay so we go to we go to

motown on mondays dance with big ladies zeke ugliest dancer in the world, but he went to India with his uncle, and he came back wearing these crazy floral print shirts. And he's like a nerd, so he would tuck his shirt in, and he would just have these, and he would just dance like a goon. Huge circle around him of people.

People respect the confidence. That's it. It's just the confidence. And that's why I was conflicted I'm gonna say my other choice I don't think anyone would ever choose it I really don't think anyone would

you could pick it as well no no no I'm not gonna is it the other Robin song no it's it's the Lotus Flower video because it's just

Tom York alone dancing but Tom York doesn't dance well at all there's a theme here and it's being alone I like being alone a lot Forever Again I get five picks right

So in my vision I can like Hop around from video to video She is Alone that is a warehouse I'm just saying Eventually Yeah but she knows how to dance dude And she looks so tight and that's not for anybody else

That's for me cause Because you're right. In public, my bad dancing is cool. But sometimes I want to look like I know what I'm doing. When I'm by myself, nothing I do is bad. That's what I'm saying. If you just pretend you know what you're doing, they think you know what you're doing. But isn't there ever a move you're trying to do

and you just can't do it? The windmill. I wanted to show up to prom and do the windmill. I tried to learn it. No. Didn't happen. You tried it at prom? The windmill. I wanted to show up to prom and do the windmill. I tried to learn it. No! Did you try it at prom? No, no. I tried to learn before prom. You tried to start at level 10? Could not do it.

Like a breakdance windmill? On your back? In my mind, granted I was more athletic in high school, but in my mind I was like, it's not going to be that hard. What about that makes you think you wouldn't be that hard? Still, it looks like you could just fling your shit on the ground

and you would just do the windmill. I could do some crazy shit. I could do that Homer Simpson thing where he runs in a circle on the floor. I could do all that shit in high school. I used to be able to do the flip yourself up from your hands on your, you know what I mean? Oh, that was so cool. I'd try to get the mentee knot. I could not do that. Yeah, I couldn't do that.

You guys are so upset you're just being sad. We had a kid that we used to put his legs behind his head and play spin the colt and it dances. Oh, yeah, I remember that kid. I could do the thing where you jump through your legs with your hand, you know, you're holding your foot with your hand. That sounds fun because there are a bunch of other people around.

Everybody else saw it and they're like, oh my god, Sean, your dick looks so big when you do that. And I was like stop stop I have a girlfriend at the time I had a girlfriend uh huh sure

people still say that yeah totally and you still say that yeah yeah yeah she goes to a different school you don't call your girlfriend in uh

that's literally the name of the song I just chose by the way yeah no I know I'm still talking to Sean no I was like whoa this is crazy

you don't call your girlfriend in dancing on my own are apparently Yeah, no, I know. Okay. I'm just not talking to Sean. No. I was like, whoa, this is crazy. You know, Call Your Girlfriend and Dancing on My Own are apparently about the same party from different perspectives. Both sides, yeah. No, it's a fucking banger, dude. Well, the songs are great. The videos are great. I'm just saying I don't want to spend the rest of my life in either. The first line is, call your girlfriend.

It's time you had the talk. Say it's not her fault, but you just found somebody new. It's literally like she's the new girl, and she's coaching the dude she apparently had an affair with to be like, yo, you got to break up with her now for her sake. And then Dancing on My Own is the girl who just got left by her boyfriend dancing by herself in the corner. But ironically, the Call Your Girlfriend video, she's dancing alone. Whoa. That song gets played regularly at comedy festival after parties. Oh, man.

There's like the 20 songs. Yeah. Who made that playlist? It's me sometimes. I'm not the one playing that song, even though it is a banger. It is a banger. Call your girlfriend. Fine.

I respect your terrible decision. You can fucking be the next pick. It looks pretty. I like there's a part of me that I don't know. Maybe I'm like, I don't know. Maybe it's a girl, but I'm like, it looks really pretty. She looks really cool. That's a cool outfit.

That's what you want. I want to feel like a goddess sometimes, even if no one's around. Okay. You are preaching to the choir, man. With my second pick, I'm going to take you to a place called Universe City. Where everything is kind of beautiful. Bright colors. Do I know what you're talking about?

I think you might. Yeah, yeah. It's Good Morning by Kanye West. Oh! He's going to the cartoon. The cartoon video. I get it. I get it.

It's the first song I thought of when this topic came up i can't completely i mean it's a dope song if this is a world where the song is playing the entire time i listen to that fucking song so much when i travel yeah when i'm walking through an airport that song makes me feel so cool like everyone's like gonna be like where's that dude going like no one thinks that's what you think everybody thinks like oh he's probably been

on the road yeah that guy's packing light and it's like you know you're going to do a comedy show and it's like

hey the scene you changed now you're doing your thing you're like yeah yeah I am doing my thing so everybody knows you're just standing out like a robbery right

yeah yeah yeah that's the jam right there I do this all the time this is how I fly please I know is this like the little right there. I do this all the time. This is how I fly. Please, I know how to- Is this like the little cartoon bear era kind of? Yes. With the glasses with the lines through them?

Those were so impractical. Wait, the- What? Glasses, sunglasses. Oh, I think it was like a pergola. It was for a certain time of day. Just like pergolas, of course. Yeah.

What's a pergola? I've never heard that word in my life. It's a structure. Is it? I built a pergola? I've never heard that word in my life. It's a structure. Is it? I built a pergola at an apartment complex one summer. It's an outdoor structure that you can grow vines on. Oh, really? But it's got slats on it, so it's as the sun goes up, it provides shade.

It's kind of like an indoor-outdoor vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like right in the middle. It's like those sunglasses, but on the world. In the real world, and not the facewear world. The video? Yeah, so you're a cartoon in this video. So I'm a cartoon in this video.

Are you the bear? Sure, I'm definitely the dropout bear. Yeah, dropout bear. College dropout bear. That's a good life. Ten years ago. It's a video. Yeah, right?

Yeah. And the whole thing is from Takashi Murakami the Japanese pop artist oh yeah who makes dope shit like super dope uh saw some of the stuff at the Art Institute of Chicago

I believe sure sure sure sure when I was visiting Chicago you were there I was in Chicago but yeah Tanya's hometown

yeah of Chicago Chicago uh it's just yeah it's beautiful it's like bright colors uh are you alone no it's a, yeah, it's beautiful. It's like bright colors. Are you alone?

No, it's a populated city. No, it's a whole city. I don't remember it very well. It's called Universe City. And there's like a whole village? It's a video that we've been known to do on a Saturday. Oh, you just watch it. Oh, yeah.

Are you maybe like a little high when you watch these? Oh, yeah. I don't need drugs to have a good time. I can't speak for anybody else. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. It looks like Crazy Frog. Right?

The beginning city looks exactly like the city for Crazy Frog. There's a little wizard bunny who gives me a diploma at some point. Hell, yeah. Oh, wow. There's tons of friends who are also graduating. Potential. You got a lot of potential. This is probably as close to being like a Miyazaki movie in a music video you can kind

of get. Right, yeah. But it's more Kami style, which is like a little, yeah. You got that nice jacket. So, like, beautifully illustrated. I'm wearing a dope jacket. Yeah, right. You got that nice jacket. So like beautifully illustrated. I'm wearing a dope jacket. I got headphones.

I feel like rap music exists in this universe. That's like a sexy bear too. Oh yeah. It's like a cute bear. Yeah, that bear's put together. Yeah. No, that bear's like

super fuckable. Good parts. That bear gets to skip the line. It's a little bit like remember when like little the Richard Scary? Yeah, the books.

Scary Town or whatever. There was a worm and all that stuff. I do not. Did he wear a little hat? I feel like there was a little worm in a hat. Yeah, Richard Scary's little worm had a hat on. He was like Lederhosen, but he was a worm. Yeah, he had the suspenders and he'd be like, Busy Town.

Yeah, he was a worm, but he was pulling it off. Yeah, and there were like cats in there too oh shit I do remember now there is the one thing where there's that cloud that'll eat you oh that's terrible

it doesn't get him though the cloud is the cloud is full of dancing mushrooms right you have to assume that you're like constantly in a state of like avoiding these

minefields of clouds kind of like Mario Brothers still fun even when those you know that cloud's dropping shit on you the cloud does get him but then it barfs him out onto the street at some point.

And then he's okay after that. Every now and again, you got to take an L. You need the dark for the light. You do need an L. Yeah. Every now and then. Keep you humble. The sweet's not as sweet without the bitter, you know?

Right. Yeah. So that's where I'm at right there. Good morning. I like it. Yeah, I love it. I like that you went into a two-dimensional world. Yeah, I'm in there.

I'm in that cartoon world. That's fun. And they're like swimwear, where the drugs really take a... I'm a cartoon-dimensional world. Yeah, I'm in there. I'm in that cartoon world. That's fun. And they're like swimwear where the drugs really take a part. I'm a cartoon bear. Yeah. Now, I'm going to stay in the rap world, which I might stay in

for the entire draft. Sure. I really might stay in for the entire draft. They're great videos. And I am taking the song Bad Boy for Life. Yeah.

Oh! Yeah. That is so much fun. Yeah. Oh, shit. so much fun. Oh, shit. I forgot about that. Right? Because it's bad boy for life. Bad boy for life.

We ain't going nowhere. We ain't going nowhere. We can't be stopped now. Because it's bad boy for life. A lot of stuff happening in here. They're just fucking that neighborhood up. Fucking the neighborhood up. I feel like we're in the Hamptons or something like that.

You have like a motorcycle, right? Yeah, at some point I'm jumping. If I'm P. Diddy in this, at some point I'm doing a motorcycle jump. The Harlem Heat are showing up. There's just a school bus letting off beautiful women. That's so good

I'm playing pickup basketball with Shaq yeah I remember so many fans people in that video there were so many Ben Stiller showing up yeah

Ben Stiller's in the bikini he's at the end he's keep it down right because I hit a golf ball through his window he's like that happens once and it doesn't happen again that's right

so Ben Stiller's permanently mad at you that's fine with me so what that might be the case right now as far as I know enemy of the podcast I don't know what he's

heard about me. Ben Stiller, enemy of the podcast? Enemy of the podcast, Ben Stiller. I gotta get your back. For Greenberg. Oh, I liked Greenberg. I didn't like it. You know, I'll get your back, even if I don't necessarily agree. So Ben Stiller's an enemy of the podcast. Enemy of the podcast. Sorry, Ben. So you like, it's actually a

bonus to you that you're his enemy in this video. Yeah. Living out your dream. Also, you get to live in that sweet neighborhood and just rip around on fun vehicles. All I want to do is ride fun vehicles through a cool neighborhood forever. Yeah. Like a safe suburban neighborhood and just ride stupid vehicles. And you're just on a four-wheeler. Your friend's behind you popping a wheelie.

You got a shirt on. Maybe you don't. Yeah. Yeah. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. It looks hot. I put a shirt on inside because it's so cold from the air conditioning.

Here's another thing that's going on in my world. There's a garage band, and it's Dave Navarro, Travis Parker, and is that D'Angelo on guitar? That's D'Angelo. Is it? On vocals with that band? Wait, no. Puff Daddy's on vocals. Is that RZA? On vocals with that band? Wait, no. Puff Daddy's on vocals. Is that RZA?

I can't see. Wait, who? I can't tell who it is either. Who is? RZA makes way more sense than D'Angelo. Why would RZA be playing? Does RZA play guitar? RZA and Travis Barker have a song together.

Oh my God. Whoever it is is Harlem shaking while they're playing guitar. That's not RZA. No. That ain't RZA. I don't think it's D'Angelo either, though. It doesn't seem like D'Angelo. D'Angelo probably didn't get that call.

Yeah, they're riding those little gas-powered scooters. Yeah. I would know how to Harlem shake if I lived here. Oh, my God. And the real one, not where you just pull your shirt down and do this. Right, exactly. Yeah, but it's the actual shake. So you're a good dancer in this. Oh, fuck yeah. i'm a good dancer in this and in real life yeah

because i believe in myself a lot of other people around to see it you gotta come into the bit sure and if i can criticize my own pick for one second yeah crazy town does move in next door at the end of the video okay okay at the end of the video. Okay. Okay. At the end of the video. They're at the very end. Crazy Town does move in. That's a tomorrow that never comes. Are they excited that Crazy Town moved in? I'm not.

You didn't know about the meth then. I didn't know about the meth. This is young Crazy Town. They have like a line at the end, right? Yeah, they're like, what's up? It's like a spoken part. They do meth? What'd you say?

Crazy Town? I think that's a deal breaker. They're called Crazy Town. With a K, right? Well, you said we didn't know about the meth? Yeah, they do meth. At that point, we didn't know about the meth. I mean, PJ didn't want to put a meth risk in his video. I don't care.

No, I didn't know that about Crazy Town. That fucking song, you have to imagine, would be blasting constantly next door. What, the Butterfly song? No, they're not playing their own song. They're playing my hits. Dude, Crazy Town, you're giving them too much credit. They're definitely playing that every day and being like, we could have been somebody every day.

But here they are somebody. They are somebody. Then that's what they're saying. We are somebody. If it becomes an issue, I'm sending the Harlem Heat next door. I'm sending Shaquille O'Neal next door. Shaquille O'Neal couldn't hurt a fly. Shaquille O'Neal is a deputized police officer.

Yeah, but he would never use it. Some shit went down bad in Louisiana. Tell me about this. I don't know. Shaq can handle his shit. I just think he's a nice it. Some shit went down bad in Louisiana. Tell me about this. I don't know. Shaq can handle his shit. I just think he's a nice guy. Shaq's gonna get by.

How's my dick taste? That's the real Shaq. Yeah. I don't want to believe it. I know you don't, but you have to. Do you think if you were like, hey man,

can you go next door and tell the neighbors to keep it down? He wouldn't be like, oh man, I don't want to do that. No, not at all. He'd be down.

No, he'd be down as fuck to go over there. He'd save some kind of Shaq pun. You don't become- He'd be like, Shaqtivate. This do that. No, not at all. He'd be down? No, he'd be down as fuck to go over there. He'd save some kind of shack pod. You don't become- He'd be like, shack-tivate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what I call a shack-a-town. I'm going to go shack it on what's going on next door.

He'd go over there and be like, why don't y'all shack the fuck up? He just makes his name into a verb. Yeah, sure. You don't become a police deputy when you're a multi-multi-millionaire unless you're the kind of dude who's down to go tell some people to shut the fuck up. Yeah, you want to fuck some shit up. Also, I heard that Shaq has a dude who follows him around with a briefcase with two guns and 50 grand in it.

What? I heard that. I heard it. I can't say it on air. I love that. Dude, I didn't even know you could live like that. Yeah. And now all I want to do is live like that. Well, because it's not like the dude's right behind me and like, I got 50 grand and two guns. He's just there.

He's got it in the briefcase. Nobody knows they're with him, I don't think. That's the best. Right? It's just like the dude is there. And if you were to walk in the mall, you'd be like, there's a guy with a briefcase. There's Shaq. There's no way they're together.

They just have to be in the same spot. That seems like a bad idea. And you're never looking at briefcase guy because there's Shaq. The ultimate diversion. But don't you see that? It's a really genius way to do it. It really is. How is it genius to carry 50 grand of your own money

with you at all times? If somebody robs Shaq. They don't know that that dude's with Shaq. If there's two 15 foot tall guys who punch him. You've never found yourself in a situation where it wouldn't be beneficial to you to plop down a briefcase, put in the combo real quick,

open it up, and there's 50 grand? Not yet. Most situations. I think you will be, though. I bet you will. I bet you will. Oh, my gosh. If I knew that I had 50 grand and two guns at the ready, I would move far more recklessly.

No, I'd just be so scared someone was going to steal my money all the time. Well, they don't know what the guy's got. There's two guns in there. So? They're in a briefcase. I could steal that and be running by the time he's opened it and got a gun out. You think the guy who's got two guns and 50 grand in a briefcase is just going to have something stolen from him? That's why I slide

a hand, baby. He doesn't know it was stolen. What is this world that you live in? The prestige. Laser disc watch and hayseed. Hi. I'm like that person with a subway that cuts the bottom of your pocket

and steals your wallet without ever pickpocketing you that's the flaw in your plan Shaq is never on the subway he's too big

but what about the guy carrying the 50 grand how does he get home after work he's always with Shaq yeah he's always because he sleeps

next to him probably in the next room because now this sucks again now you have to be like Greg you probably sleep

in the old fanny pack that Shaq now you have to be like Greg can you turn around the shack where the shack fanny the fanny shack it was all worth it it was all worth it get in my fanny shack and go to bed it's time for you to make your third pick yeah

I just went back to shack with mine. I'm doing Formation, Beyonce. I did not come to play with you hoes. I came to play.

There's so many reasons. I don't think I could possibly cover all of them. You've always wanted to live in the hurricane ravaged city of New Orleans. I did. But it kind of looks fun.

In that video, it looks like Waterworld. It does look like Waterworld yeah in that video there's no danger let me apologize to any listeners

I thought there was no danger in that video in that video it feels very like gothic and like it's mad southern gothic and like

post danger to me I mean maybe I'm reading it wrong but that's what I took away doesn't the video open with her on a submerged cop car yeah sitting on top of it I mean there's don't get me wrong there's a lot what I took away from it. Doesn't the video open with her on a submerged cop car? Yeah, sitting on top of it.

I mean, don't get me wrong. There's a lot of messaging that has nothing to do with why I'd want to live in this video. Oh, yeah. I mean. The first two things you see are a submerged cop car and an active fire truck. Yeah. But then moving away from that, there's a big hat. There's some really cool costumes.

There is a big hat. There's a tight chair. There's a lot of reasons why I'm like, yeah, this seems really cool. I'm not fully out on this pic. Does that mean you like it or you don't like it? I'm not fully in either. Forever? Oh, you're on the edge.

It's an amazing music video. I'm not saying I don't like the music video. I think it's one of the best music videos. It's a dope video. If I got to be in it, then A, I'm friends with Beyonce. So that already, big win. Okay, so you're like Venus Williams twerking on the floor. Yes.

Second of all, if I'm in Beyonce's crew, that means I'm probably also wearing one of these very cool outfits. I probably look so unbelievably cool. I probably look cooler than I am in my current form capable of looking in my life. Which, now when you think of this video, which scene do you really see yourself in? Well, I mean all of them ideally, except the fire one probably could just bounce out of that one and sit on that cop car,

that cop car. Listen, I know this isn't how like floods work, but in my baby brain, I'm like, yeah, I could just dive off and swim into my house. Like that sounds really,

Oh, you live nearby. And yeah. And that I've personally big fan of swimming. So that, that feels really fun that I have the option taking me on a long walk here, but yeah, that's what my brain works.

I don't know what you want from me. When I was a kid, I used to dream that my place would flood so I could swim to school, not realizing that on a mountain, that's not how water works. Like gravity doesn't cover the whole mountain. Oh, I thought you lived on an Island on a mountain, that's not how water works. Gravity doesn't cover the whole mountain. Oh, I thought you lived on an island. On a mountain on an island.

That's too much. I'm sorry. There's so much happening. You've been to the Pacific Northwest. You are so complicated. I appreciate it. Laser disc, dude. I could swim to my fucking mansion,

have this tight, massive hat. Having a swim-up mansion would be great. Wouldn't that be so sick? A swim-up anything is pretty legit. a swim-up mansion would be great. Wouldn't that be so sick? A swim-up anything is pretty legit. A swim-up bargain out of town. Here's what you get if you live in the world of formation. A lot of cool dancing, a lot of cool outfits. A lot of cool friends, presumably. There's a basketball court. There's a

southern gothic mansion. There's a cool-ass chair. You get to meet Blue Ivy Carter and a couple of her friends probably now yeah it's a there's an empty pool but there so you can't swim in that but you are swimming in the entire city of new orleans can't swim in an empty pool yeah and like i like to think that um that like spoken word dude who talks in the beginning oh yeah he's also there and then i can just listen to him and that that would be pretty, I mean, obviously not now, but then maybe I could have listened to him and that would have been really fun for me.

Big Freedia does get you in a weird zone when you listen to him. Big Freedia does. It's just like, Duffy, Duffy, Duffy, Duffy, Duffy, Duffy. And you're like, ah! It's great. I saw Big Freedia live in New Orleans and everybody got on stage and twerked. Crazy people. You wouldn't think we'd ever do that kind of thing.

Dude, he says, because his drops are so hot. What does he say? He's like, release your wiggle. Release your wiggle. Yeah. Whoa, that shit is powerful.

And I was like, you sound good when you do that. You should rebrand. I've yelled it around my house a lot. Do it again. Release your wiggle. I like it, dude. That's so good.

That's so good. And maybe he's in this video, too, even just his voice. So I get to just, like, be in that vibe for a while. I mean, to me, it all seems like win-wins, except for maybe that, like, yeah, I'm, like, a white person choosing to live in, like, a kind of politicized video. This video is very much the opposite of the Buddy Holly video in that Sean asked me how many white people are in this video. Ian, besides our that shauna asked me how many white people are in this video ian besides our good friend miel how many white people are in that video nary a one what a strange dynamic we've built tonight i don't know i didn't i wasn't thinking about it like man wouldn't it be cool be the only white person but for me i'm like these ladies just

seem really tight oh wait wait wait there are white people they're riot cops that's worse than not having them from the set of the buddy holly video that's what i'm saying i'd have to exempt like the we call them on the buddy holly they're like we don't need to be over here i don't think like i feel like any any video you choose to live in the message isn't the reason you're living in it. It's just the literal world that they depict is what you're living in. Well, I know. I definitely want Hey Ma to be the message that I live in. This is what we're learning, Miel. I mean, it's just like David said.

You are a complicated person. Look at that cool-ass hat, Bob. I don't know. Did I choose wrong? It feels right to me. There's no wrong. I don't think you did. There's no wrong. I was just thinking from an aesthetic position. You're an A-steam.

You're an aesthetician. You know some videos you watch and you can tell it's a video and some videos you watch and you feel like it's a whole world? Yeah. This one to me felt like a whole world that I'm like, I want to get a taste of that. Sure. I mean, again, not the militarized police force,

but the really cool old houses and the outfits and that whole southern thing. And then also, if that song did have to play forever, I would be totally okay with that. There's a lot. Have you been to New Orleans? No, and I've always wanted to go. I think you like it.

It's pretty great. Just based on how you feel about this video. I really want to go to New Orleans. I want to do a road trip from New Orleans to Savannah to Charleston. And I want to sit on a porch for the first time in my life. And I want to see fireflies for the first time in my life. And I want to try- You've never sat on a porch?

Never been on a porch? Never in my life. We have a porch. What the fuck? I'm like Northwest LA. There's not a huge porch. It's one of the best things in the world to do is sit and chill on a porch. I've seen this video.

I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video.

I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've seen this video. I've also never tried sweet tea. I don't even know what that is. There's a lot of things. It's one of the best things in the world to do is sit and chill on the porch. I've seen this video. I've also never tried sweet tea. I don't even know what that is. Like, there's a lot of things. It's pretty sweet. Never seen a firefly, huh?

No. Their butts light up. What? They light up. David, it's time for you to make your third pick. Yeah, we'll leave that. We'll leave that where it's at. My third pick, very simple, Snoop dogg and pharrell beautiful oh yeah

yeah they're in brazil yeah and i feel like it's just like that idea of like living in paradise together but it's not like it's not like the fuji like it's not like because i wanted to do that fuji's video but then i was like that paradise seems conflicted it's too real that you're definitely which food is video some of the fruit in the cornucopia has turned. Yeah, and beautiful. It's just like it feels like some forgotten Brazilian city where time stopped and you just play football

on the streets with the kids. Football, as the locals call it. Easy going. And you just drink exotic juices. Maybe ayahuasca at some point. Yeah, oh yeah. And I just have a little apartment with the fan going all the time. A lot of houseplants. Yeah, I wear linen all the time. I got a big hat.

You're not hot because you're not moving that fast. There's always cold beverages in the fridge. I got four girlfriends, but they have four other boyfriends, so it's not weird. Everyone's fine. Yeah, it's just like that summer forever. And then we dance all night to the cool calypso breezes. I like that.

You're eating a lot of plantains. Oh, so many plantains. Plantains and pork that's been cooked for a long time. This pork's been cooking for like four days. Yeah, four day pork. And that pig grew up

at like 90 degrees. Just like in the ground. Yeah, with those coals. I like that a lot. That's a mile away. Yeah, just like in the ground. Yeah, with those coals. Pork down. I like that a lot. That's a cool vision. It's making me regret my choices now that I realize I did. Don't regret your choices. That's so simple and fun. No, she should. I mean...

Don't ever regret your choices. Yeah, but yeah. No, that's pretty straightforward on that one. I like it. That's an up and down pick, absolutely. And imagine a lot of like plastic cups. Oh, plastic cups for sure. It's like thick ones.

Liquor bottles with plastic cups. And you're just always, you're always almost too drunk. Yeah. You're fun still. Just the end of you hanging on where you're really dancing, you're really doing it, but you're not drunk yet. You're like, how can I keep this level? Yeah, this is the, that's where I live forever. I call that, I will call that mode Sean Jordan.

And not because you're almost always, almost too drunk, but because when I get in that mode, that's when I'm like, this is so dope. We should stop and think about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is the Sean Jordan zone. It's fun, man. Yeah. It's fun to be present. I'm just up there appreciating shit.

I'm like, this is fucking dope. That's why I know we've talked about this on the pod before, but you're in the bathroom checking out your own reflection and being impressed by it. Wait, is that what you guys do? Oh my gosh. When you get magically drunk handsome. Uh-huh. Wait, that happens?

Okay, my experience with drunk handsome is looking in the mirror and going, oh my God, is that what I look like? No! Really? You don't ever look in the mirror and just think like, fuck, yeah. Whenever I get fucked up and I look at myself in the mirror, I'm like, whoa, who is that? You know, I'm like Sarah Borey's baby boy.

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. I'm just over there like, maybe I should go to the bar. Maybe I should fuck yourself. Yeah, that's what it is. That's what it like, maybe I should go to the bar. Maybe I should fucking go to the bar. That's what it is. That's what it is. Maybe I should.

We should fucking. We got to go to that party. We got to fucking. We got to let the world see this. When I'm drunk and I see my own reflection, it is. Yeah. I'm like, you're like. Who's that lady?

It's a lot of that shit. I'm like, they're lucky you're fat. That's one of them. Yeah, you're like. You know what I mean? You're like. Otherwise it would be over. I'm as

beautiful as i could possibly be right now like it's just like i'm in my beautiful zone fucking handsome i'll bite my lip i'll do like i'll just be sitting there not laughing and i'll go like yeah like that just to see what it looks like start doing the like the jacket over the shoulder check the time just sort of those jc pennecott oh yeah what's that just like uh just like a rub rub the scruff of the beard kind of yeah they can't see me right now but they feel it and then uh having filled up your confidence tanks you explode back into wherever you were

music's playing you're in it you're in an even better mood somehow yeah oh yeah that's a good jordan level yeah that's and that's where i'm at that's where i'm at in this fucking snoop dogg for real jordan that whole video is Jordan-ing. It's Jordan-ing hard. Speaking of Jordan-ing, Sean Jordan-ing, it is time for you to go shack to shack.

All right. Your third and fourth picks. Going Big Papa, Notorious B.I.G. Oh, yeah. There's a part of life that I've never, I don't know that. I don't know what that's like. Just going to the club and being like, everything. Here it is.

Here's your table. Here's some class. I get to do nice shit, thankfully, sometimes. But you're never like, oh, Mr. Jordan's here. Not like that. Where they just get the fuck out of the table, dude. And then just like cigars, limos. Mansions and benzes yeah dude yeah

steaks cheese eggs welch is great giving ends to my it's one of my favorite lines and rarely do people get it where i'll just walk up to people like how you live in biggie smalls nobody says in mansion nobody says mansions and benzes that's why i said rarely that's why i said rarely because there are some people that will always do it but most people like how you live in biggie smalls they're like uh well what do you mean like fucking that's a goddamn shame how are you goddamn shame it's just uh yeah i could see myself just a nice chill day i don't imagine he got up too early that day and then uh no just having a night on the town every night, chilling.

Max is relaxing. That's another thing I love about Biggie is that in this song, he still- Doesn't he have a turtleneck on? By the way, I hate turtlenecks, and he's got a turtleneck on. He's a cream turtleneck. Yeah. He put that leather jacket- Yeah, with a big, yeah, look at hot.

He's a big fat guy. We know how that- Where are that many layers? I don't know how you can do- In the club? That's like December in Brooklyn. When they were shooting this video, there were like four people assigned to keeping him like, looking like he wasn't sweating. That happened to me when I was on Those Who Can't.

Yeah. I had some sweat wranglers. Is that true? I did too when I was on Those Who Can't, because I was down in the basement. Yeah, I was on the soundstage, and I had to just like, after I shot,, I would just have to go, like, stand by the giant fan for a while. They would take. And, like, open up my shirt, like Michael Jackson style. They would take my button up so I wouldn't sweat through it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They put the pads on there. You're like, I'm not a monster. So any of you fat guys out there who want to be on TV, just know. Know what you're in for. There are the lights are bright. It's not all fun and games.

The lights are bright. They shoot most of that shit in LA. Yeah, and it's hot in the summertime. But the thing I love about Biggie is that in the middle of the song, about basically macking on girls and living the good life, he doesn't say, and then we have breakfast. You know? It's specifically cheese eggs and Welch's grape. And a T-bone steak. It's a specific order. What the fuck are cheese eggs and Welch's grape. He's got a specific-

And a T-bone steak. And a T-bone. It's a specific order. What the fuck are cheese eggs? What? Cheese eggs. What is that? Like scrambled eggs with cheese.

Yeah. You call it a cheese egg? Cheese eggs. Cheese eggs. I never actually really thought about it. I just kind of thought he was saying cheese egg. Yeah, I guess cheese eggs. Cheesy eggs.

Cheesy scrambled eggs. Cheesy eggs on a steak. I was imagining an egg made out of cheese. Nah. No, that could be dank, though, too. Like a string cheese, but egg-shaped. Oh, like the Bay Bells? Like a cranberry egg made out of cheese.

Yeah, I mean, it sounds good, but it's different than scrambled eggs with cheese. I don't know if they were doing that in Brooklyn in 95, but... Just some egg-shaped Welch's grape ice cubes? He's going to go to the deli. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's crazy to me about it. It's just, I just couldn't get away from being a big fat guy and like, nope, I should do

a lot about breakfast. Yep. He knows exactly what he wants. It's going to be a specific breakfast. But does that, it doesn't even make sense because he's talking to the girl and he's like, all right, drive me home. Wait, stop at that deli. Yeah.

Wait, does it, that's him talking to a girl yeah yeah on the way to the deli will fill my belly cheese eggs and welch's grape that's that's his that's his game he's mapping out the whole night also a t-bone steak which is a lot before sex that is a lot oh it's a lot of heavy he's not he's a lot of heavy. He's not. He's going to sleep. Real world, he's not fucking after that. No. Well, everybody is fucking too. Right after he asks you what you're. He's laying there.

Like, you really think he was like a big positions guy? No, but. I think that. Even laying there is not. Right after he asks you. I don't think you could even lay there. What your interests are and who you'd be with. What numbers to dial.

Yeah. He eats all that. Hey. I mean, that guy probably. He already had to dial all those numbers. He's got to put a CPAP machine on and go to sleep after that. I don't think so. There's a big dude.

He could get down a problem. They're in a jacuzzi, though. The waters are relaxing. Who are you talking to? I'm putting you right to bed. That grape would put me down. I don't think he would give that. The grape would.

The concrete grape would. You're talking to two big dudes who are sexually active. Taco Bell puts me down. Only 1,200 calories knocks you out. It's night after I've been drinking D'Ussé? I'll be honest. It doesn't knock me out. I can eat that much in one sitting.

You don't physically fit into Vicky. What do you want from us here? What are you asking for? We can't eat cheese, eggs, and fuck. I'm sorry. I don't even think that's a crazy thing to say. I can't eat cheese, eggs, and buns. Cheese, eggs are so heavy.

It's cheese and eggs. You had a big T-bone steak. I can go down on you, but you'll have to sit on my face because I can't roll onto my belly after having had cheese eggs. Because I'm full of T-bone. I don't know. It's a deli T-bone. Yeah, that's a big-

It's not like a Waffle House T-bone. No. We went to a deli to get this T-bone. It's going to be thick. If you want to get laid, don't say T-bone steak, cheese not like a waffle house t-bone no we went to a deli to get this t-bone it's gonna be thick if you want to get laid don't say t-bone steak cheese eggs and welch's grape when i ask you what your interests are you know also why welch's grape it's so thick so sugary he treats like juice like it's booze like he has his brands you know yeah i mean i guess if i was gonna get a grape juice it would be welch's juicy juice i'm just saying i don't know who's fucking it's a great world though it is a great one yeah except the part that you like can't fuck

after your big meal apparently you don't see him eating that breakfast in the video so you can still fuck in the video yeah yeah yeah that's a hypothetical if you can get that turtleneck off problem is that puffy's gonna be there yeah puffy is gonna be there he's gonna be there for sure he's gonna be there with that cupcake and ass be there he's gonna be there for sure he's gonna be there with that cupcake and ass voice be like hey biggie i told you not to talk to me like that yeah tell your friends every now and then you're gonna see wet puffy that sucks puffy you put your cigar in the water and now you're smoking it again i don't need that why does your ice float why is your why is your chain float mine don don't float. Wet, puffy, indoor sunglasses.

It's not whatever, though. Now, for the fourth pick. Yeah. Dying. I haven't really partied yet, so I'm going to pick gin and juice. Okay. I had to wait a little bit because it's dangerously close to nothing but a G thing. It is indeed.

But they get a little bucker in gin and juice. They are getting fucked up all day. They do a lot of fucking at the end. Somebody falls falls through that table it's a big ass house party that gets broken up that's a world that i kind of did live in for a while so yeah i know how that just like that throwing down in a major way all day and uh it's awesome i absolutely love it you cool with riding on the handlebars yeah of a bicycle yeah mean, were you wondering if I ever had little two-inch braids in my whole head? Yeah. Were you guys wondering that?

Because I did. Did you really? Why did you admit that? Wait, have I seen that picture? No. There isn't a picture of it. Why would I admit that? Because I'm proud of who I am and who I've become, and I admit the past.

You can't be who you are without the journey. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you also don't need to wear the journey as a token. Yeah, I do. I like people to know. It's getting spicy. Nine inches.

It's spicy, I'm sorry. Well, that's because Miel's always so mean to me. I'm going to hand you this computer. I didn't share your pic. I think your pic's good. From the Gin and Juice video,

it's got a screen cap frozen and I want you to look at this hockey jersey that Snoop Dogg is wearing. It's so cool. And I want you to tell me, all I see, there's an S and there's an American Indian head.

Is that like a Sioux Falls minor league hockey team? Is that possible? Because that's not an NHL team that's ever existed. There's almost no chance that's possible. It's a college team for sure. I'd like to know. David, do you know what it is? No. You know Snoop wearing it?

I don't. I'm familiar with it. David, do you know what it is? No. You just sleep wearing it? I don't sleep with it. Is it from Long Beach Community College or something? Trust me, I'm familiar with it. But it's a hockey jersey. It is a hockey jersey with an S. And that was the only thing that ever even got me close to stealing, yes, stealing a hockey jersey. Because that was the point in my life when I used to steal things constantly.

When that music video came out. Because I thought that jersey looked so dope. Did you have your braids when you were stealing stuff? I did have my braids when I was stealing things. Never mind, I'm not going to blow your last pick. Go for it. I was just going to ask if it was Freak on a Leash or not. No.

Because that's kind of who I'm visualizing. You probably thought Jonathan Davis davis and monkey were in here yeah they were heavy it was sean the former braided guru hey my name's uh monkey um it is yeah it's uh it is it is a lot more buck than yeah ain't nothing but a g i mean they're like the same things imply but you introduce they whip out the row of jimmies like somebody actually falls through the table yeah they talk about tango ran chronic how fucked up he is and i just like that line too like i would i would prefer to be the one who had all the tango ray yeah everybody's got their cups and i'm like no get out of here this is my and maybe dre and some other people you wouldn't share

i would share with my close ones i'd share with my good ones video forever you have an infinite supply you wouldn't share? I want the same people to have fun the whole time. Oh, okay. I want those hanger-on-ers to go fill their own solo cup. So only let some in based on your judgments. I let the real ones in. Yeah.

Okay. Yep. Okay. I'm seeing what you're doing here. And I just like a world where Dr. Dre thinks I can fuck nine times in a row and whips out nine condoms and he's like, don't come out of the room until all of these are done. Two girls in there. Nine condoms. That seems doable.

If I had like a month... I'd be all full on cheesing, right? This is full disclosure. I don't have a dick, but if I did, I feel like I could do nine times. I cannot go well... I feel like you're pulling that from nothing. I don't want to go too far here, but I got like you're pulling that from nothing I don't want to go too far here

but I got like once every three hours in me you have all the time in the world you're in this video forever you can do more than once every three hours you can cut that in half I believe at 18 you could have done more than an hour now we're getting into

the real life music video I've never been that great at sex. I got that low T. I feel like twice in an hour you could definitely do. Yeah, for sure. I mean, this is mostly a joke. I'm not saying I can't rock up. If anyone's listening like, I'm not saying I can't rock up.

Didn't we do one of these one time where somebody tweeted? They're like, dude, that sucks. You can't get a boner. I remember something like- I think because you were talking about your low T. Somebody thought that that's what I was saying. So just to clear it up- Are you saying low T?

Do you mean testosterone? Yeah. Oh. Just to clear it up, I have a boner right now. Was it because I mentioned corn? Yeah. The boom, knock, knock, boner. Naheen, I ain't a boner.

It's your trigger, yeah. And rocked up. And hard, yeah. It freaks girls out when I have to do it every time. So yeah, that was the fourth pick. I suppose we got a motor, huh? I just don't know if I can fuck with Dr. Dre outside, but I like the pick.

Dre's just listening. Snoop, come on, man. I signed you for a reason. You've got to use all nine of those condoms. Signed you for a reason. Get out of here, Calvin. I do think that sounds kind of exhausting, though. Nine?

Very exhausting. Yeah. Like, four is kind of crazy, but, like, nine, you're just showing off. I just do nine pumps. Different condom on every time. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm like Damon Dash with condoms. I don't wear it for more than one pump.

I got a pump of fresh condom. Dude, I don't know if, like, this is a factor for you guys, but, like, as a woman, when you have sex with someone wearing a condom, it takes a long time to get all the condom out Dude, I don't know if this is a factor for you guys, but as a woman, when you have sex with someone wearing a condom, it takes a long time to get all the condom out of you. A long time. Nine different condoms, I'm just like, yeah, that's a week. I didn't know that.

I did not know that. No, we know very little about the underwear. Your underwear texture is ruined. Really? That makes sense. You wouldn't go through so much. I know. My panties are so wet and sticky for so long, but not in the normal way.

It's pretty easy. It's like one shower for us. Yeah, no, it's like waxy for days. No. It changes your chemistry in a weird way. So nine condoms is a check on my body. You're the old Play-Doh roll, and you're good to go. Cricket.

Play-Doh roll! It's cricket. go. Cricket. Play-Doh roll. It's cricket. That's the back of the hands. Is that when you're like trying to be polite with your own dick in the back of your hands? I'm so sorry, sir.

Just one moment. I've never been polite. We're past pleasantries at this point. Never been polite to that jerk. I'll tell you what. Kill that dude.

We're old friends. David, it's time for your fourth pick. My fourth pick, very similar to what you guys say with the partying and stuff like that. Yeah. But I want to do it at the beach. Oh. I'm going Coolio Fantastical. Sure.

Yes. It's not only a beach party. Okay. It's a weird beach party. What makes it weird? So he pulls up his magic Chevy Caprice to the beach and opens the trunk and all the weirdest people, just like

the strangest. Like a clown car, but the trunk. And that's like, to be in the middle of a weird dance party, but it's too rap forever is I could ride that out forever. I feel like a lot of your stories sound like they happen within the Fantastic Voyage universe. I've kind of cultivated my life that way.

Oh. That I want it to be like. Like nobody's really wearing clothing that fits any era. Yeah. Just a lot of different shades and sizes. You're an icon. That's why. There's like a dude wearing Timbs.

Yeah. At the beach. At the beach. Yep. There's like a bunch of fly fly ladies, but then there's just a bunch of weird shit. Those guys at the beach like, what do you got Timberlands on for? Julio is not dressed for the beach. Wait, doesn't he have like a full khaki, like a full dickie suit on?

Yeah. And you know, he's Julio. But I respect it. Weirdos at a beach is great yeah just a bunch of i just love weird like parties with weird groups appear like i don't want the juice i don't want the i don't want the club from big papa i want everybody who couldn't get in that club yeah but it's like down to have a great time like i want nobody sitting around being cool. I want everybody on the dance floor like that shit's gonna burn

down. But on the beach. That actually sounds very fun. I think I could do that forever. You're gonna have five interesting conversations there. Your phone is gonna have weird numbers on it. Like Keisha Circus. Yeah.

Yeah, like Jeremy smoked meat. I'm going to have, yeah, like Jeremy Smoked Meats. Yeah. Like, I'm going to have a bunch of, you're leaving with a smoked meats guy. Yeah, I'm going to have a bunch of weird connections

after that night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh yeah, I know a Scrabble champion.

What happened? Oh, we were partying at the beach the other day. Crazy story. Yeah, he got out of the Coolio's Fantastic Caprice. Yeah, he got out of the Caprice.

We were in the truck together. It was a weird day. Long. It was traffic. We were in there for a while. You want to know someone who's eating whale meat? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you eat some whale meat? Dude, dog, I was just at the beach the other day. I got a guy. I partied with a Zinua. Fucking Gunther, man. Gunther is that guy. Gunther is my phone. This dude, MLKK He's allergic to carpet

Didn't know that Never been on carpet So he thinks he's allergic to it The MLK stands for Martin Lartin Carton I met this guy named Martin Lartin Carton And he's allergic to carpet This dude's wild He's actually allergic to car pets

He can't have a dog in a car It's bananas All that shit is happening In the Julio world Martin, Lart, and Carton You're gonna meet a couple people who've been in plane crashes Yeah, yeah, they live, they made it Or like someone's been struck by lightning

Yeah, but like twice Yeah, yeah, yeah Just a dude with a pocket full of doubloons. You've said doubloons on this podcast before, and you're the only person I've ever heard say that. You might be the guy with the pocket full of doubloons. I could have the pocket full of doubloons. Anything could happen.

It's a fantastic voyage. You're in the silver game now. The doubloon game's not that far away. It's a lateral move for me. That fucking thing you're holding, I wish I could talk about it. We'll talk about it afterwards, but it's really cool.

Fucking David hanging out on the beach with Paul Newman's bodyguard and some Cirque du Soleil people. Mielle, what is your fourth pick? Okay, it's another Michael Jackson, which I know is probably a mistake. It's fantastic. But I want to live in this video,

and that video was Remember the Time. Remember the time when we fell in love. Did you guys remember this video? Yes. It's in Egypt, right? Eddie Murphy. And it's fucking Magic Johnson, Eddie Murphy, Iman. Iman.

Yeah. And Michael Jackson. Mrs. David Bowie. And there's one other person I'm forgetting. David Bowie. Do you? Oh, the wife, the initial wife, not Iman. There was another lady who was. Was Arsenio in it?

Naomi Campbell? No. Somebody hot and interesting. Also, do you remember that video? That wasn't an MTV world premiere. He premiered it on Fox, if you guys remember. I remember watching the world premiere. God, he's a fucking gangster.

Because I was like a head as a kid. I was a Michael Jackson head. Oh, big time. But me was from the Laserdisc, so the premiere was lost on me. That's the problem. They didn't have it on Laserdisc. It didn't make the cut. The premiere was on Orcas Island.

Yeah, on my Laserdisc at my house. That does look like a very, very fun song. my laser disc at my house. That does look like a very, very fun song. And like, I think, correct me if I'm wrong,

but I think Magic Johnson is like the court, like announcer guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like announcing people. But then he tries to catch it, remember? Yeah.

And so Michael Jackson just is like trying to like, Mr. Steal Your Girl, Eddie Murphy the whole time with Iman. And he keeps like disappearing and like reappearing magically. He spins around into the ground. And he turns into dust. Like, is he like, it's like vaguely like court gestury, but it's Michael Jackson. Yeah. He spins around into the ground. And he turns into dust. It's like vaguely like court gestury,

but it's Michael Jackson. Yeah, he's always kind of magic. I just looked it up and the far side is in that video. Really? That's crazy. And it also says Tom Tiny Lister Jr. I don't know if that's...

Oh, Zeus is in that. I don't know if that's Zeus. Oh, yeah. He is in it. Crazy. Everybody's in this fucking video, but it's set in a place where I also want to be. Like ancient Egypt.

Like ancient Egypt. Yeah. Also, do they have high courts in ancient Egypt? I don't know. I think he might have kind of amalgamated a few cultures to make this vision. Seems like it. But I'm for it. Yeah, there was like a scepter.

I want to be there. I want to charm a snake out of a basket, man. Yeah, you could live that life. Can you imagine? basket man yeah you could live that life can you imagine i mean you know you have to be a megastar to have eddie murphy show up in your music video eddie murphy himself a megastar and then like okay so what am i gonna do in this music video like you're gonna be the pharaoh and i'm gonna steal your girl yeah he doesn't get to be funny no he's a very serious he's very suave though oh yeah no he's eddie murphy eddie murphy but still he had to be a serious dude and he was a He's very serious. He's very suave though. He is. He's very suave.

He's Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy. But still, he had to be a serious dude and he was a comic. Like, what the fuck kind of casting is that? Was that before or after they did a song together? Wait, they did a song together? Together? Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. They did?

Yeah, the Party All the Time song. Michael Jackson was in that, wasn't he? I don't remember that song. No, I think it's just Eddie Murphy. It wasn't on the list. They did one together. I know they did a song together. Party all the time. Are you thinking of Paul McCartney?

Is that getting mixed up? Man, I do love that song. I'm thinking of... My good luck's to party all the time. By Eddie Murphy? I want to tune out for a second. What are you talking about? I was talking about...

Him and Michael Jackson did a song together, though. I think him and Rick James did a song. I'm going to fucking kill you guys. I mean, listen, teach their own. What's up with you? What's up? What's up? What's up with you?

Not a song I know. Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy. I don't know what you're talking about. That's why I'm asking. Was that before or after Remember the Time? Well, there it is. That's what it looks like. All the listeners, you can see what I'm doing.

I can't tell you. There's definitely some favor trading going on here. If I was in Remember the Time, I'd get to be Magic. You would want to be Magic Johnson. No, I literally meant Magic. Oh, Magic. Wait, Magic Johnson isn't in it. Yeah, he is.

He is? He's like the court announcer. She would have said Irvin if she wanted to be Magic Johnson. I would have been, you know. Yeah, we're on a first date basis. No, I would like have magical abilities. Okay. That makes sense.

Yeah. I feel it. And that's something I feel like as a young girl. Do you think that I just said Ir first name racist. No, I would like have magical abilities. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. I feel it. And that's something I feel like as a young girl. Do you think that I just said urban? No. No. I thought you said urban. Did you think that it was urban magic, Sean?

No. No, no. What I thought just happened is I go, she would have said urban. And Miel, what I thought was go, yeah, urban. That's not racist. And I was like, wait, do you think? No, no, no. I said I'm on a first name basis.

what I thought was go, yeah, Urban, that's not racist. And I was like, wait, do you think? No, no, no, I said him on a first name basis. I'm over here sitting here thinking that Miel thought I thought his name was Urban Johnson. It's fucked because now I wish kind of, I wish you had said that. I wish you had said that. I wish his nickname was-

After the Buddy Holly pick, you wish you would have said that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no. But like his nickname was Urban Magic. Right. Like that. What the fuck is Urban Magic? Urban Magic Johnson. But first name basis and racist sound a lot alike.

Oh, no, I get it. So you can see how that all got twisted. By calling it back and being wrong, you just drew attention to it. Yes, I was very wrong. You don't take any inflection, Urban Magic Johnson. If I'm going to be Rasheed Wallets, you should change your screen name to Urban Magic Johnson. What does that even mean? Like magical urban stuff.

I don't know. Urban magic. Magical urban stuff. Sure. Or you could go the other way. H-E-R-B-I-N. Urban. Urban.

All like weed. Weed stuff. Yeah. Marijuana stuff. Her. Or you can go the other way. H-E-R-B-I-N. Urban. Urban. All like weed. Weed stuff. Yeah. Marijuana stuff. Herb Ann Johnson. Anyway, I want to be magic in Egypt, so there you go. Great. It's time for me to make my fourth and then final pick. Two in a row, back to back. As it is a sapientine draft. And, alright.

I'm going to take another because I love, one thing I miss is that late teens, early 20s sense of hopping into a car, getting together with your friends, just driving around suburban environments with nothing to do, just causing real low stakes trouble, just goofing around. That's why I'm taking 1979 by the Smashing Pumpkins. I get it. Breaking out of my rap strategy. takes trouble just goofing around. That's why I'm taking 1979 by the Smashing Pumpkins. Breaking out of my rap strategy. I get that one. That just looks so fun. We've all had those nights before.

Driving around for no reason. That was like five years of my life. Because you had nowhere to hang out. There might be a party at 11, but it's like 5. We can't hang out at anyone's house because we can't leave past 9. Yes. Yeah. Just driving, having fun in a car, driving nowhere really.

Oh, yeah. I think they shoplift a little bit in it. Low key. Some low key. Low key. Taking soda from the front of Walmart. It's not Grand Theft Auto. It reminds me of when like, now it's so easy to like just get alcohol or drugs or whatever

like that if you want. Yeah, it is. Postmates. Back then, you had to like postmates. You can. You can postmate alcohol. And postmate drugs if you know the right people. But like just piling into a car, just having a fun time and having to entertain yourselves

and shit like that. And you don't know who you're going to pick up either. Yes. And because you're mobile. No, you don't know. Maybe your crush is going to get in the car. You don't know. You can catch anybody on the and because you're mobile like oh you don't know anyone maybe your crush is gonna get in the car you don't know catch anybody on the street oh boy and you can get snacks you can go to a grocery store have just a bag of chips going around that and then maybe there's a fight at the grocery store maybe not who knows maybe you run into your

parents and you have to hide oh shit my dad's here yeah i'm really stuck on the running into random people for phones and things when you just saw saw someone, you're like, get in. And they're like, all right, I'm going to roll with you for a while. And you have no idea. They don't know what they're going to do for the rest of the night. No AC, all windows down. Hey, you want to come to a party? Yep.

Hop in. And then they just left their friends at the gas station without telling them. Yeah. That's, oh, what a fun. Yeah. That happens now. People get fucking furious at you because they think you died. Before cell phones were like, I remember when I was in high school, we didn't use,

like everybody had cell phones. Not everybody. Some people had cell phones. Texting wasn't a thing though. But yeah, we didn't use them that much. So it was still just like, yeah, hop in the car. I guess I'll see you. You going to give me a ride home from Dan's house later?

I mean, probably not. I'll probably be obliterated, but come anyways. And you're like, all right. Yeah, worst case, we'll just both sleep at Dan's house and drive in the morning. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. That's a good pick, buddy.

Thank you. Yep. My final pick. Let's hear it. Also, I just want to, 1979, they're at a house party. There's a pool there. They're just throwing shit in the pool. Probably having a Saturday.

My final pick. Let's hear it. It's only because I don't want to live in a world where it is acceptable to wear either. Okay. Okay. A full New York Mets sort of like vinyl ass looking like shiny jumpsuit. Yeah. Or.

I know it. Or. Or. Football pads and like parachute pants. Sure. What could you possibly be talking about? That's why I'm taking Rosa Parks by Outkast. Oh, there it is.osa parks by out which doubles as my favorite song of all time i was gonna i thought you were gonna pick that first but none of us it could go anywhere yeah you could do anything in that

magic could be real in that world magic is definitely real time it could be either way in the future way in the past so Oh, and Andre was so unbelievably hot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. He met a gypsy. That's how hard he was. In football pads.

I got to take a second. She hit him to some life game. In football pads. Stimulate and activate the left and right brain. You only fuck it as your last cut. You focus on the past. He answers, he has what? Keep going.

That's one to die to. I try to disco without you to tell me you're on an adventure. Andre. Got to the station. That's my destination. She got off the bus. The conversation. He's got bars. to. I try to just go without you to tell me you're on an adventure. I'm Dre. Got to the station. That's my destination. She got off the bus. The conversation. I hit the hour.

Kind of sour. Took a shower. Because of the favorite group we're coming with. But I don't want you because you're probably going through it anyway. But anyhow,

when I'm out, when I'm out of body because I thought it would be slamming but it's jamming on the Walski. Walski. Awfully sad

and it's costly. But that's all shit. Broke and I hope I never have to float in that boat up Schitt's Creek. It's weak, it's the last boat. I don't want to hear when I'm going down. When all's said and done and we got a new Joe in town. When the record player get to skipping and slowing down. All y'all can say is, on the ground, but until then.

Oh my God, it really is your favorite song. That song is so great. It's so good And they have the harmonica Yeah I could just live in that harmonica forever It is so good Big Boy is just in the middle of a roller skating rink

With these like Hot but like tough looking girls It was like sitting on the chair He's up on He's like sit Perched up on the chair Yeah Wearing again

It might be leather It might be a poly I don't know but New York Mets it's like a whole jumpsuit it's all orange like he's wearing filas too which is one of the best beat drops in a song ever just that'd be fun to live in the video where you're like oh the beat's gonna drop everybody ready for the daily beat drop so it's just that crazy where marching bands are just part of everyday life yeah yeah you know like a whole marching band vibe for a while.

I mean, that was kind of their vibe. Yeah. That was their aesthetic was marching band. Yes, it was. There's people doing fun step routines. Yeah, that was a fun video. Yeah. Anything can happen. I think at the end of it, there's sort of like a photo booth moment where people are posing.

It could be like the beginning or end of a grand adventure. Yeah. Yeah, it really could be. Like just a crazy, like we just got done or like we're just about done. Or like send you on your way. There you go, dog. That'd be another good choice, actually. For you, maybe.

Yeah, yeah. Rusted Roots. Send me on my way. Yeah, there you go. Don't have to pull your last choice. That's my final pick. Rosa Parks by OutKast. Miel, it's time for your final pick.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Rosa Parks by OutKast. Miel, it's time for your final pick. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm so torn, man. Nothing's right. I'm getting influenced by your guys' picks as you're going. No, you got to listen to your heart when it's calling to you. Listen to your heart.

Yeah. When it's calling for you. I'm going to stay true to me, and I'm going blur coffee and TV. Hell yeah. That was on my list. Was it? Yeah. That video, I don't know what the fuck about it. It just spoke

to me on a weird level as a kid and I often fantasized about being a little animated milk carton. Yeah. I want to be the pink, the strawberry milk. I want to be the sexy one. I'm with that. Strawberry milk is sexier. I never thought about strawberry milk as being the sexy milk. She was fine, dude. She was fine. I mean, listen, at the end of the video,

they both die. Both the milks get squashed and die. Yeah, she was fine, dude. She was fine. I mean, listen, at the end of the video, they both die. Both the milks get squashed and die. Yeah, you have a very interesting... So would it restart? No, at the end, they're like angels. Oh, so you would just live that angel life. Yeah, I know.

The milk angel life. And because I'm choosing it, having seen the whole video, I'm not afraid of death because I know that I get to be an angel now. Okay. But I just think that whether I'm the strawberry milk or the blue milk or I'm the boy they're looking for, you know, the premise, it's like a kid's missing and

everything is real except these two milk cartons, which is amazing, like stop motion or whatever the fuck it is. But the milk carton has the boy's face plastered on the side of it, like missing. And so the milk carton is trying to find him. And I love that he just has such a sense of purpose and I envied that as a child. You want to be a heroic little milk carton. I really want to.

And you know what? He does find him. He does find him. And then the kid's just like fucking around in his rock band or whatever and finally decides to go home. And first he drinks the milk and thereby killing it before he goes home.

And I was like, he's a hero. Yeah. He's a martyr. It's a little bit like the giving tree. He gave of himself. Yeah. I guess I chose this because I'm just so selfless. Yeah.

Selfish. You are the Jesus Christ of all. An amazingly good person. He's just like really, really humble and very cool. And so I was like, that's me. You're the Jesus Christ of all fantasy everything. It's so cute too. I don't.

J-C-A-F-E. I can't explain it. It's beyond words. It doesn't make sense. Watch the video You'll get it Yeah Yeah

I agree With your brave little toaster ass That's me dude That's me I'm blanky Yeah Hell yeah I feel it

Excellent pick David Boyd It's time for your final pick And the music videos You would like to live The rest of your life My final pick It takes place

In really a world Of music videos There's like five or six of these. And this is Ronald Isley, AKA Mr. Big. The song is contagious. I don't know.

I don't know that song at all. It is the best. I feel like maybe it's like Atlanta where they live. And it's just all these crazy huge houses. He had this thing that had text messaging like six years before. He's just like super rich Atlanta black people. He's got a sword cane. What?

Oh, hell yeah. Say no more. I mean, yeah. It's just like Mafioso, but in Atlanta. And he drives like a super stretch car. Are you him? I'm him. I'm Mr. Big.

You have a sword cane. Yeah, I have a sword cane. And a super stretch car. Are you him? I'm him. I'm Mr. Big. You have a sword cane. Yeah, I have a sword cane. And a big old car. And I tell R. Kelly, who's been having sex with my wife and my wife, I say, I think y'all better leave this place. Oh, so you're Aaron Neville also. No, that's how he sounds. And then he takes out the sword cane and he slowly says, cause I'm about to catch a case.

And he has it out. And that's how he lives. I like it. You're contagious. Touch me. It's so good. So you're a real bonafide badass in this. Yeah, but old.

I'm old as shit. Oh, so it's at the end of your life. You've lived that long. I have a young lady. But that's why she's cheating with R. Kelly. Right. Because you got an old dick. And at one point, R. Kelly's lived that long. I have a young lady, but that's why she's cheating with R. Kelly. Right. And at one point, R. Kelly's like,

how did I get into this? Should've never came home with this bitch. So it's like- So he regrets it too. Everybody regrets it, but it doesn't matter. You still get the flex.

Because I caught her saying, you're contagious, touch me baby. Give me what you got. Let him have him, sad, sexy lady, drive me crazy,

drive me wild. This world is crazy. You've got world is crazy you've got like these you've got like boys too who are also kind of old they're my brothers they're the other oh and then you just have some muscle yeah and i got some muscle but also you're kind of thriving in this world i could i'm dude i would be the king yeah it would be crazy just like elegant pools yeah golden uh pajamas complicated it doesn't even really i feel like your feelings aren't It would be crazy. Just like elegant pools. Yeah. And golden pajamas. Complicated. It doesn't even really, I feel like your feelings aren't even that hurt by.

No. That girl sleeping with R. Kelly. You've seen enough of the world at this point. I mean, Mr. Big. I mean, the series of Storm King does not get his feelings hurt. No. I'm Mr. Big. You know?

Sex and the City, Mr. Big? No, Mr. Big. The good one. So this is, yeah, there's a's a whole like there's like four of these videos that are in the same world and it's all ronald eisley getting cheated on basically or another one r kelly another one r kelly cheats on ronald eisley's goddaughter and he catches he catches r kelly and tells him to get out of town. R. Kelly sneaks back into town. That's why in this video, he's like, he's like, he's like, Mr. Biggs, I was going to tell you.

And he says, how'd you know my name, son? It's all sung. It's yeah. It's like an opera. Yeah. I feel like R. Kelly drew a lot of inspiration. Sounds like a very. It was.

Yeah. It was. This is a report trapped in the closet, too. But yeah, it was. Well, R. fucking Kel stole that shit. Well, I mean, I think they were at least the vibe. I think they were collaborative. That's probably true. I think they were collaborative.

Oof. Oof. You're east of his crimes. Sean Jordan, it is time for your final pick. So, alright. It's between three and I just thought of this while david was talking but it is a world i want to live in and this is something i just thought of in the last 10

seconds just because of the pure buckness of it and it'd be uh put your hands where my eyes could see oh yeah that fucking crazy world you mean you want to live in the movie coming to america that just i want to live in that hype williams world that's just like fish island what the fuck is going on that missy elliott world you know i would tell you that the end of that video used to scare the shit out of me still scares the shit out of that guy with the crazy neon paint yeah i feel like that's like whoa yeah that'd be a video where i'm like i'm gonna be different when i die of video, like if I ever get reincarnated, I'm going to be fucking, I'll be neon paint.

Different crazy houses in this mansion. Is that the one with the, uh, no, not like he's stolen the ivory from the elephant. Is it? Yeah, that is like coming to America.

It's like they're on the campus. Yeah. And it's like, and it's got that great beat. Yeah. Is that when he's like spookily like chasing the camera? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That used to freak me out a lot. He has like a skeleton painted on him or something at some point. Yeah. Is that when he's like spookily like chasing the camera? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that used to freak me out a lot.

He has like a skeleton painted on him or something at some point. Yeah. It's the first time he said what the dilly-o. Those are crazy Busta Rhymes videos. I know. I was thinking, I was like. That's probably the safest of them. Well, just.

Other than maybe past the Cavassia. When Dave was talking, I'm like, wait, Busta had a world I wanted to live in. Yeah, yeah. Wait, why do you want to live in it? That sounds spooky as hell. Because it's so buck. You picked Thriller. Yeah, but that's deliberately spooky. you want to live in it? That sounds spooky as hell. Because it's so buck. You picked Thriller. Yeah, but that's

deliberately spooky. That was like unnerving spooky. When he was like shaking his head at the camera and it was like kind of jumping around.

I just think it sounds fun just to- It's a sacred dance. Yeah. Probably. I don't know. I thought it was like some weird like

Dutch angle shit they were doing. I don't know. They were doing some hard Dutch angle stuff. Oh, it's like where your camera's like on a 45 degree angle

instead of like- They were doing some end of the draft shit. Shit, I forgot to make a pick that I really wanted. Oh, fine. Two on the table, and everybody else can do their honorable mention. My two on the table that I left were Slave for You by Britney and Giving Him Something He Can Feel by En Vogue.

Those are two videos where I'd be like. Giving him something. Yeah. Because you like to get sweaty. I can't say I regret any of my picks, but I'm mad at myself now. What? If I can make, you know what? It's my one year.

What's happening? It's my one year. I'm making a sixth pick. What the fuck? Unprecedented. What the fuck is happening? I'm fucking doing it because I can't live without this on my list And I don't care

I'm only doing it once It's the one year anniversary Until the two year anniversary What's the pick I'm adding sabotage by the Beastie Boys That's my number six Just because I want to be out there Fucking eating donuts

Rocking a dope ass mustache Running down bad guys running down bad guys yeah sliding over hoods i get it yeah damn cuff and perps i get it recap shall we get it shall we get a mention oh let's hear it let's hear it let's hear it well i have two one is fat boy slim weapon of choice i want to watch christopher walk and dance first that's also a dope house. Second, and the reason I didn't choose it is because it felt too exploitive,

but it's D'Angelo, Untitled, How Does It Feel? You should have picked that. Why wouldn't you want to live in that video? That one makes way more sense to me. That one makes, who doesn't?

I kind of want to live in there forever. It's just, just fucking. I'd just be fucking my whole life. That's the whole reason I live in there. You'd just fuck D'Angelo forever. For the rest of time or just stare at him

just watch him sure but it felt a little I felt a little dirty you're always ducking out of the camera when it dips down you're like

shit shit shit I was actually down there the whole time I was already down there I was in that video just to recap I got to kick it off and I started with

ain't nothing But A G Thing and then Good Morning by Kanye West Bad Boys For Life by Puff Daddy and the Family I think or maybe just Puff Daddy 1979 by the Smashing Pumpkins

Rosa Parks by Outkast and whoa I guess Smashing Pumpkins is standing out a little bit there and Sabotage by the Beastie Boys yep

Miel you went Thriller by Michael Jackson Call Your Your Girlfriend, and then in parentheses, Warehouse Dancing by Robin. Formation by Beyonce, Remember the Time by Michael Jackson, and then Coffee and TV by Blur. Yeah. David, you went Hey Ma by Cameron and Jewel Santana. Oh, yeah.

Candy Rain by Soul for Real. Yeah. Beautiful by Snoop Dogg and Pharrell. Yeah. Fantastic Voyage by Coolio, and then Contagious by Mr. Big. Yeah, I Rain by Soul For Real. Yeah. Beautiful by Snoop Dogg and Pharrell. Yeah. Fantastic Voyage by Coolio. And then Contagious by Mr. Big. Yeah, I stand by all that. AKA the Isley's.

Sean, you went Buddy Holly. Jesus. Woo! Shut the fuck up. You have to be a cool one. All of you fools. I didn't say anything. I just dreamed all the time.

You said it with your piercing eyes. I didn't say anything. I it with your piercing eyes I didn't say anything I got cool brown eyes over here then what about your friends by TLC sure

Big Papa by the Notorious B.I.G Gin and Juice by Snoop Dogg and then what was your last pick my phone my computer died

and I had to email put your hands where my eyes can see put your hands where my eyes can see by Busta Rhymes yeah hell yeah oh yeah excellent picks What was your last pick? My phone, my computer died, and I had to email these. Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See. Oh, Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See by Busta Rhymes. Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Excellent picks all around the board.

We did it. We gave you a marathon session for the one-year anniversary. Yeah, thanks for listening. Yeah, thanks for listening. Sorry. Oh, please, you're all good. No, that wasn't you. No, that was the room.

We tend to blow the eight. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Blow the cheese egg. What did you say? Blow the cheese egg. Yeah. you say? Blow the cheese egg. Yeah. Blow V8.

That about sums it up. Thank you again for listening. Hell yeah. And tune in again for the next year for another brand new year of all fantasy everythings. Shaklakity! that was a hate gun podcast