All Fantasy Everything - Mysteries (w/ Zak Toscani, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: October 24, 2019

??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!Episode Guest:Zak Toscani @zaktoscani IG: @zaktoscaniSupport the show!Sponsors:Eight Sleep: Get $150 off when you go to eightsleep.com/allfantasy.Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping with the code ALLFANTASY at Manscaped.com. Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that's thinking about getting a powder blue jumpsuit. We were just talking right before we started recording. Actually, when we were recording, but before the official start of the podcast. A white dude in all powder blue. It's a bad scene. Someone you can't trust. It's a bad scene.

I had a short set, like a Tar Heels short set that was all powder blue. I didn't have powder blue shoes, but percentage-wise I got to feel like 8% is about where you can stop. Roy Williams coming to your house to recruit you to play for the Tar Heels. Right. You got to keep baby blue. You got to lock it in with other. You can't just be out here full baby.

It looks great. It was hard to watch. It's like, it's like, it's the uncircumcised penis of wearing colors. Yeah. It was hard to watch Tyler Hansborough. But a polo, a Lacoste powder blue polo, you could do. Probably. But then you don't wear any other powder blue.

No, not at all. No Kangols. No. Wait, don't tell me. You got to tell my uncle Mark that. He never has powder blue. No, he wears Kangols, though. Uncles love Kangols.

Yeah, yeah. They sound the same, even. Uncle Kangol. Uncle Kangol. Uncle Kangol. This is my Uncle Kangol. Oh, yeah. He hasn't been around.

He lives in the Maldives. Kangol's in the building. He's got a house on every Canary Island. He actually brought canaries to the Canary Island for the first time. Oh, what does he do? My uncle Kangol is a botanist. He's a hot botanist. He's a hot botanist. He's a hot botanist. He's a federal botanist inspector.

That uncle Kangol is a hot botanist boy. Yeah, he's sweet with a pickle juice. Uncle Kangol for sure. Uncle Kangol? Yeah, yeah. He's sweet with a pickle juice. He'll fuck you until you can't read. Uncle Kangol.

Which for the kind of people he fucks, it usually doesn't take long. You know what I mean, Uncle Kangol? Getting for the kind of people he fucks, it usually doesn't take long. You know what I mean, Uncle Kangol? Getting that botanist ass. His whole walk-in closet is just jumpsuits. Nothing else. That would be sick. Dude, he finds one jumpsuit, buys 12 of them.

Oh, man, I wish I could Doug funny. Just find the one thing. Oh, the other one outfit? God, buys 12 of them. Oh, man, I wish I could Doug funny. Just find the one thing. Oh, the other one outfit? God, that would be great. I go through little phases. I'm in like a Carhartt long sleeve phase. Yeah, I'm in like a shorts and a t-shirt phase. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That has been my main phase. It's lasted, you know, 20 years probably. It's a decades long, decades long phase. You know what's really weird? I remember the first time I decided I could wear shorts and a hoodie. Because as a kid, you think it's like a weird thing to do. Yeah, it seems crazy. You know, and this is bizarre.

You know where I saw it work for the first time? Oregon. I was watching Wishbone. Oh. What's the story, Wishbone? What's this you're dreaming of? Yeah. He was a Jack Russell Terrier, but he could also read.

So it's like a kid's entertainment educational. I must be a little too ancient for that. It was on public broadcasting. They acted out the plots of great books. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sioux Falls doesn't have that, right? Dog would beat Dog Quixote.

Yeah. They never did. You guys don't have PBS. You stopped it. Nor do you have great books. It's like, remember the Babysitter's Club? Yeah, David, I do. All right, cool.

Nice. Wishbone never did The Dirt by Motley Crue. What might have been that? Yeah, Wishbone never broke a window. He never put his junk in a burrito. Wait, you put your junk in a burrito? No, they did that in the dirt. So they say.

They say that they were on the road. They say they were on the road. There isn't one. But they're also fucking... Oh, because Tommy Lee's dick is the length of a tortilla? No, because they all had dirty little pickles and so they'd stopped at a 7-Eleven before they went home to their respective gals and put their dicks in burritos to get

the smell off instead of, say, taking a shower when you got to the crib. Honey, it's guacamole. You know I went to Dallas. I got burrito all over my dick. God, I better jump in the shower. It's a long run. You and I, I've got suchrito all over my dick. God, I better jump in the shower. It's a long

run. You and I, I've got such a perfect little weekend planned. I've rented a house in Malibu and oh, would you look at that? I got burrito all over my dick. I'm going to jump in the shower. Tommy Lee had a smoking hog from what I if Methods of Mayhem has anything to say about it. He's got a pretty big dick.

I've also seen it. You've seen, oh yeah. And that porno, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Porno.

I have to, I forgot. That was the first, I think it was the first one that I might've gotten off of a, like limewire or whatever. Celebrity sex tape, but it's porn in general. I think that might've been the first,

cause that was the intro where I'm like, I got to see this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably right. Time-wise. And I was like, I gotta see this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably right, time-wise. Then I was like, you can just get more. They seemed like they were having a cool time. Yeah, all they did was talk

about how much they loved each other and fuck and then be on this boat. Yeah, he drove the boat with his dick. Uh-huh. Fun thing to do. I gotta get a fucking boat, man. Silly. I've got one half of that equation. You gotta have a bunch of other things before you get a boat. Yeah, that's the problem with boats. Like, I was always like half of that equation. You got to have a bunch of other things before you get a boat. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the problem with boats. Like always. I was like, get a boat. And I'm like, I don't even have a house. You got to have a house before you get a boat. Yeah. Otherwise you end up living on that boat.

A boat's a losing investment. Although that's like, that's like ripe. I always wanted to have six months where you live on a boat where you're like, uh, Denise has the house. Yeah. Here's what I will say. I would probably start drinking. Yeah. If I lived on that boat. You have house. Yeah. Here's what I will say. I would probably start drinking. Yeah, absolutely.

If I lived on a boat. You have to. Yeah. There's nothing else to do but drink cheap scotch. Yeah. Have sex with divorcees. Uh-huh. Who also live on boats.

Here's what I'm saying. Maybe a boat is crazy. Right. What if we all go in on a jet ski? Yes. I would love to do that. Like a team jet ski? Yeah.

We could get airbrushed. We all ride it together like the banana boat? Uh-huh. Yeah, we got to name it. Oh, like a stretch limo jet ski. Yes, I would love to do that. Like a team jet ski? Yeah. We could get airbrushed. We all ride it together like the banana boat? Yeah, we gotta name it. Oh, like a stretch limo jet ski. Oh, a stretch ski. Poseidon. Poseidon. If we walked into a jet ski store, all four of us, they're like, you want the stretch limo, don't you? That's right.

Yeah. I don't want the attitude. Help us with the fucking jet ski. Yeah. That would be so nuts to see four people on a super long jet ski. Maybe with the another set of like, like where there's dual engines. Oh yeah. Do they have dual engine jet skis?

I like the idea of all four of us wearing the same life jacket, just a big long life jacket that wraps around. Yeah, we're all tethered together. With four sets of arm holes. Three of us die. The one who's alive is tethered to the dead. Yeah. No!

Jeez. Gentlemen, before you get on this jet ski, there are some see-dos and some see-don'ts. This area of the lake is for a wave jogger, not a wave runner. That's right. We see do. Keep it under five miles an hour when we're approaching the dock. We've got to get on some jet skis, man.

We see don't use a buoy as a ramp to launch ourselves onto a yacht. You're saying this makes me feel like you've worked at the docks. Not the docks, like the... Not the Teamster docks. No, no, no. The marina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done some time in some marinas.

Not the wire docks. Yeah. Not the wire docks. Not with Ziggy. Baltimore, dude. Be more. Baltimore. Shout out to E.D.

Baltazar. Eric DeDorian. Shout out to Eric DeDorian of Baltimore. Baltimore boy. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Tickler. Baltimore boy. Baltazar. Eric DeDorian. Shout out to Eric DeDorian of Baltimore. Baltimore boy. Hell yeah, dude. Sickler. Baltimore boy. Who else?

Ryan Sickler. Eric DeDorian. Cal Ripken. Cal Ripken. Babe Ruth is from Baltimore. Yeah. George Herman Ruth. My cousin Samuel.

Your cousin Samuel. Crab. Crab. Crab. Just crab in general? Yeah. Crab's had Baltimore accents I don't know what a Baltimore accent is

I always notice that they say Baltimore it's like D's instead of T's right like Baltimore Baltimore I gotta go back and watch The Wire again we're gathered here today in the Fortress of Solitude to draft mysteries. Mysteries.

Mysteries. Familiar voices, but. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, I'll still introduce everybody. Okay, I was wondering. Sorry. Fucking, don't tell Picasso how to play, baby.

I'm about to do a fucking triple axel off the diving board, and you're also on the diving board? Skip introducing me. I'm going to go. I'm going to get out of here. Let me jump off the diving board. I'm going to leave. Fuck. Jesus Christ. I'm just going to get out of here. This is going to be dropping a few days before Halloween. So we thought we'd draft some of the mysteries,

which can be spooky, but aren't always spooky. But you know, they're in the spirit of the season. And in the spirits of the season. How would you say that if you were from Baltimore? During the spirits of the season. How would you say that if you were from Baltimore? During the spirits of the season. So we thought it would be a topic that's in the spirit of the season. Bro, I feel like you're getting more California.

Baltimore is going to fly here and kill everyone. Hey, tell all your neighbors a happy Halloween. I don't know what's happening. Tell all your neighbors a happy Halloween. I don't know what's happened. Happy Hula Hoon. Yeah, happy Halloween.

I don't know. I gave some of your kids some crepe cakes for their trick-or-treats. Oh, that'd be such as greasy little wet crab cakes. Just whip them in their bags. Happy Halloween. Here's some geese. Cool ravens. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you don't take crab door- whip them in their bag. Happy Halloween. Here's some geese. Cool ravens. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you don't take crab door to door from strangers.

Uh-huh. If there's one thing I've learned. Yeah. And that was because like you got burned about 10 times. Yep. Oh, yeah. Wow. Fool me once.

I like imitation crab. I do too it's I mean because it's just cream cheese right what isn't it just like cream cheese or what do they put in

like crab rangoon like at a Chinese restaurant cream cheese yeah oh is that not imitation crab no oh okay

what's imitation crab just fake crab it's like white fish so they boiled it's not a bunch of crab shells so it's still seafood and then soak it into like pressed white fish

yeah it's pretty trashy. That sounds gross. It's good though. I was once lured back into a house with it. Yeah. I've heard. On the wildest day of my life. A pitcher of 7 and 7 in your hand.

Yeah. Chasing down the landlord. It was still light out when I started that pitcher of 7 and 7. It got dark quick. I don't know what I was imagining. I was just watching Mean Streets. Oh yeah. And they drink 7 and 7s in that movie.

7 and 7s is like a hard drink, man. 7 and 7 is what? Like a fresh 21-year-old orders, so they feel like they don't sound like an idiot. Two numbers, please. Because it sounds like a dice hand. 7 and 7. Jack and Coke is another early.

Yeah, Jack and Coke makes you feel grown up. Because you know when you go to the bar, and you're just like, I don't know. I don't know what I like. There's so many bottles back there. There's so many. I'll take a Cointreau. What did they say in that movie?

Let me just get a Campari Hennessy. Yeah. I definitely ordered a White Russian just because I was like, that's a drink that I've heard. You've heard of that before? Yeah. So AMFs, we would drink those too. What's an AMF?

Adios, motherfucker. Oh, I've heard of those. That wasFs? We would drink those too. Adios, motherfucker. Oh, I've heard of those. That was when we were the shot culture before. I was just like, let me get a whiskey and a beer. It'd be like, let me get a cement mixer. Not even on your birthday. I've never gone into that. Dude, back in the day, I used to drink Fallen Soldiers.

What are those? Straight whiskey and respect drinks from other people. Crown Royal and Grenadine. Like, I'd just be eyeing a beer, and like, that guy hasn't been back for 20 minutes. It's mine. That's my beer, dude. Yeah, it was a dark.

I've definitely drank drinks that were left in toilet stalls. Yeah. You know, where you're like getting there hammered, and you're like, this is barely even any ice. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm drinking that. Some dude just left it because he got drunk and fucking walked out without it. His loss. His loss.

My gain. Happytidus, maybe. One man's toilet beer is another man's fortune. Ew, a good goose. They call them in Baltimore, I'll tell you. I apologize to everyone in Maryland and Surrealic areas for this terrible version. I think it's great. So Sean Jordan is in the crib.

What's up, bro? Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Tight cross. Tight cross on the throne of lies. Yeah, dude. I don't know, man.

It's the throne of Pendleton over here. It is the throne of a special edition Pendleton blanket that's the flag of Oregon dressed over his other shoulder. A Damien Lillard jersey. Seriously. It is the throne of a special edition Pendleton blanket that's the flag of Oregon dressed over his other shoulder a Damien Lillard jersey. Seriously. It's really on brand. Resplendent. We are resplendent in this crib right now.

John, what do you got coming up, dude, other than a tight cross? Clean shaven, by the way. Nothing, yeah. John and I both clean shaved today. What happened? Did you guys look at each other and were like, it's time? No, we just, we got in a fight and rubbed our faces together until we could have any facial hair.

So do you shave with like shaving cream and stuff? No, I don't. I just take it. Really? There's shaving cream in there. Yeah. What am I going to notice? I don't know.

I just never think about it. I just take it. I just start hacking. Hot or cold water? Honestly. In the shower, so I don't look in a mirror. I can't. My hair is far too coarse.

Hot or cold water, though? I'm in the shower, so it's hot water. I just do it in the shower when I'm standing there. my hair is far too coarse I'm in the shower so it's hot water I just do it in the shower when I'm standing there no mirror or anything I don't have anything coming up I shave in the sink for years I've just been doing it when I do anymore if I take a razor to it

just in the shower my barber shaves me I shave my balls in the sink I get razor burn really bad I don't, I never have That's why I don't shave my beard It's like not worth it I had

Like especially down here I should have looked like a Nestle Crunch bar Yeah, I've never Yeah Never got the razor burn The crispy side It's because you don't have coarse curly hair and sensitive skin. I have sensitive skin. Get Bevel. Can we get

Bevel to sponsor us? Shout out to Bevel, whatever you are. What's Bevel? Bevel could be a car company for all I know. It's a black owned hair razor for people with coarse hair and sensitive skin.

Coarse curly hair and sensitive skin. There's a chance Marissa will have to take this whole thing out because we do have male grooming sponsorships. Shout out to Dr. Tristan Walker. No! Unplug his microphone! He's doing it again. They couldn't handle the truth.

I got nothing coming up no dates or anything I'm just going to start doing guerrilla marketing Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors shout out to Rockbird on Colorado oh Rockbird is good have you eaten there?

Yeah, me and Dave Ross went there. I didn't get the... So they have Cornish game hens. Ooh. And chicken sandwiches. And I got a chicken sandwich. It was really fucking good. You know what I like about a Cornish game hen?

I like it when I... I keep getting older. They stay the same age. getting older, they stay the same age. I'll tell you. The thing I like about these Cornish game hens. Is this a guy hanging outside a rock bird smoking cigarettes? He never leaves. I'm just in the kitchen

watching him make them. All right. Tell me, man. How's this year's crop of Cornish game hens looking? I hate it. I hate it when you say that. Oh, might have to red shirt this baby for next year. Yeah.

Nothing coming up. Go to Faded every Friday at the Mid-City Arts Center. The box starts here is an album that I do have for purchase. If you feel like it, that's about it. Acquire it. Acquire it. Oblige him. Yeah.

Oblige him. Oblige me. This Sean Jordan wants you to buy an album for his country. Oblige him. Oblige him. And I want my sales. And I want my sales. And I want my, what is it? And I want my flask

Zach Toscani in the Fortress of Solidence Yo, what up dog Add Zach Toscani on Twitter Add Zach Toscani on Instagram Cross platform What do you got coming up, Bubba? Same, Faded I would come to Faded every Friday

If you're in Los Angeles Look out for tour dates. But just follow me. Yeah. Just follow me. Follow the man. You see him at Rite Aid? Get a part of him. You know how like Twitter is often, people like Shane Torres, for example.

Political juggernaut Shane Torres. He's really one of the greatest pundits of our day. Donald Trump resigned today, right? Yeah, I think so. I think he's in the process. Because Shane will take aim at the beltway. You know what I mean? And like with his mind

and he will like he'll he's picking people off. He's speaking truth to power. He's using his platform. He's like Barry Pepper in Saving Private Ryan. Just picking people off from the tower. He's punching up. He's punching up. Not only is he punching up, he's punching out. He's punching up. He's punching out. And the other thing

he's punching up are the jokes, man, because they're solid. They're political marksmanship. But if you want just good jokes on Twitter, if it's like, all right, Shane's got the political side covered. Yeah, I got my meat. I got my vegetables. Yeah, all right. I got my conscience.

I got my political rack of lamb. Yeah. Now let me get them taters. Shane Torres will do that for you. Add Shane Torres on Twitter, by the way. But. Buy his album.

If you want, if you just want solid jokes, Zach Disconi's got them serving them up hot and fresh all day long. All day long. All day long. And if you want general promotion

and sometimes a retweet of someone else. Yeah. Come over here to Death Row. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't want jokes all on your feed.

Jokes all up in the TL. If you want someone just tweeting Portland Trailblazers names in all caps with no context. I got you. It's funny.

When it was devolving, I used to really want to bust jokes on there. Yeah. Now I hate it I just use it for like Anthony Simons I use it to see a lot of Nuggies stuff

sorry about last night but it's only preseason did you watch it? no I was hanging out with you guys oh well at the show oh how did the rest of the night go? I spent some money. Do you want to go into it?

Yeah, sure, man. David Borey and a few other members of the comedy community. I spent some money. Had themselves a strip club evening. Up in the strip club. There was a tiny part of me that was like, maybe I will go. I saw you were thinking about it. I i will go i'm i saw you were thinking about i'm glad i did you saw you were thinking about it what i loved was that you asked

sean and sean was like no and then you sat back in your seat and then just you were like well i just have to ask you too even though i know there's no part of you and i was like yeah no part of me sometimes you got to do it man and i threw a lot of money at people yesterday yeah yeah yeah yeah you have to do it every now and then it's you gotta do it for the economy it's so fun it's so funny it's funny to have 200 because i'm not like one of these like tuck it guys. No. I got my stacks on deck. Like you can see exactly how I'm a mark. Because I'm just like smiling all big money in each hand,

just throwing it everywhere. You're a good audience member. I am good. I'm always like, I say things to strippers like good for you. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm very like, I'm very much like this rules yeah your butt is so cool any kind of any kind of live event i'm always like how can i be the best

audience yeah i just yeah i want to take it in you just go there's ways to go and i'm sure like there's people who think this is what they all say or whatever but there's for sure ways to go and be like less creepy. You're going to be like a little bit creepy because you're there to be creepy, but there's ways to be less creepy. It looks like I'm reading this off my phone. Like you wrote this last night.

Curly's scrolling on my phone because I'm responding to a business thing really quick, but Daddy can multitask. That's what I say at the strip club. That is hilarious. Yeah, Ian just read his manifesto. We actually never got to the draft. That's fair.

That's fair. And in this country, given everything that's going on, political and otherwise, I believe. Yeah, I always turtle up when I go. I just sit in the back and I don't know. That's fine. I've done that since day one. Even when I was like 18, I went to one and I was like, I always turtle up when I go. I just sit in the back and I don't know. That's fine. I've done that since day one. Even when I was like 18, I went to one and I was like, I can't.

Oh, when I was younger, I had no money. So I had to be very conservative with my 21s. Yeah. Last night was not that. Yeah, it was like it's Thursday. So there was like it was not packed. But then when we went to the second strip club, it was like it's thursday so there was like it was not packed but then when we went to the second strip club it was packed yeah yeah and that was the fun that was that was the one that was the that was man because it's like also like i think it's just fun like the second strip club was so

packed that they weren't just dancing on the stage. So then, now I'm just dancing with these strippers. You know what I mean? I'm throwing money, but also I'm just dancing anyways. It was a lot of fun. I like dancing when there's no money involved, though, too. Absolutely, you're a dancer. Somebody just would have given you a couple bucks. That's the first time anybody's ever described me that way,

and I love it. You're a dancer. I'm a dancer. I'm a dancer. I do like dancing. I've seen you dance beautifully. You got a good move. I can't do it, but you got a fun move that you do when you're having fun. I've seen you do it.

It looks like shit when I do it. You're ruining it for me. You're not a dancer. It's a thing. It's not that you're not a dancer. You've got your own repertoire. Yeah, you've got your own thing. Right.

It's just not a lot of overlap. You dab. You're more of a dabber. Oh, God damn it. You say God dab it? All right. God dab it. You're a God dab fool.

All right. The person who's furious right now is David Borey. At the J.S. Simon on Twitter. CoolGuyJokes87 now is David Borey at the J7 on Twitter. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Sean dabbed his way through that entire intro. Oh, God. David, what do you got coming up, man? When this comes out, I am on another leg of the Eric Andre tour.

Oh, yes. I believe this leg we are doing Washington University, Northwestern University, Bucknell Milwaukee Algonquin for the good land I was going to actually pronounce it Milwaukee We're not worthy A lot of guys Yeah

Hey man This is the second movie but this is the funniest fucking one Yeah that tour Watch No Watch my stand up special November 15th That tour Watch No Watch my stand up special November 15th November 16th

Come out and see me I'm co-hosting the Eric Andre show At Adult Swim Festival What city is it? Is that in LA? That's in LA You guys should come I think Vince Staples is on it

I'm going to finally fight Vince Staples is on it I'm gonna finally fight Vince Staples yeah of course we'll show up hell yeah and then yeah and then I think

around now I'm gonna put the short film online yeah you'll be able to see that those of you who came to High Plains

got a special little little treat this is why you always gotta come see us live we're gonna sprinkle some treats in all the time guys you, you got to see live is where it's, that's the juice. Granted, it was

sold out. So like, you know, come out and we will. That's because all the Shaniacs were there. The Shaniacs showed up. Well, people came from the Beltway. They just had a lot of questions they needed him to answer.

Yeah, that's true. We did a meet and greet after Shane did a meet and speak. Yeah. They wanted more. Yeah. They said, we don't even need to touch you. We just want to hear more. He doesn't even do comedy.

He just stands on stage, and then people stand up, and they're like, fracking, and then he just takes it on. Well. Well, the real comedy is coming from these jokers down in the Beltway, you know? So all he has to do is just sort of read him the riot act in front of everybody. But yeah, come see us live. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram,

at Ian Carmel on Jewish Marriott Rewards Points. Ooh, Gerriott. Yeah, Gerriot. I don't really have anything coming up. Watch the Late Late Show on the Columbia Broadcasting System. Watch a lot of stuff on the Columbia Broadcasting System. Watch a lot of stuff on the Columbia Broadcasting System. I just watched a sketch

of yours. Oh yeah. Well, of the shows, I should say. It's all mine now. Nate Fernald did this where Reggie Watts appears in every scene of a soap opera. Yeah. say it's all mine now nate fernald did this where reggie watts appears in every scene of a soap opera yeah and it's like 21 minutes long it's crazy right yeah isn't that wild nate uh it was like i forget which one uh one day at a time or bold bold and beautiful yeah yeah and reggie is in every scene just in the background the idea behind it was that he's been for like 30 years in every scene.

God, that's so funny. I never got into the Bold and the Beautiful. No. We were more of a all my children days of our lives family. General Hospital for me. I used to watch Knott's Landing when I was a kid. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

The nighttime soap opera. Where they show penetration. Nighttime soap opera. It was a kid. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. The nighttime soap opera where they show penetration. Nighttime soap opera. It was. It was a nighttime. It was a soap opera for adults, David. It was like nine at night

for those people that did have jobs. I think this was called a drama television series. ER is probably my favorite soap opera. They're all soap operas. Look at like Nashville

and Friday Night Lights. Those are fucking soap operas if I've ever seen them. You haven't finished yet, right? Ballers? Yeah. They're all soap operas. Look at like Nashville and Friday Night Lights. Those are fucking soap operas. I mean, you haven't finished yet, right? Ballers? Yeah. Oh, no, I finished. You did finish. I did finish. I finished. What the fuck? Man. Oh my God. That Bentley truck

was really cool. That was the whole but like, oh, that show really. It lost by the Chiefs. Oh, the early really. It lost by the chiefs. Oh, the early. Wait, have you not even started? Like the last thing I saw was that he was. Yeah, he buys the.

Oh, where he says, hang on a second. I'm about to buy the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah. And he hangs up. That was actually a better reading, probably. It was so clear that they had The Rock for two days to shoot. And it was like, either put me in this car, in this documentary setting, or like in one scene with that mean looking woman who works for the NFL. Yeah.

That show. Candace Owens looking mean woman. That fucking show, man. It entertained me. I really liked it. I love. I did too. I really liked it.

I love The Rock. I love Rob Corddry. I love everyone involved. John David Washington. But the last season of it made no fucking sense. I love The Rock. I love Rob Corddry. I love everyone involved. John David Washington. But the last season of it made no fucking sense. The gaming, dude. And then he comes clean at the end. What'd you think, Reg?

I was really going to do this? Cowboys came up with 90 for me. And you're like, you were doing it. And then the writers are like, we can't have him end as a gamer. Yeah. I think enough

people told them like you guys are way off when did you become the smartest person in the room when i realized i should act like the dumbest oh that's why he was so bad at acting the whole time he was pretending to be dumb oh okay yeah that was he was a very hard actor to watch that woman who would never sleep with Rob Corddry. Shout out to Rob Corddry. But that woman, like, not that she would never sleep with Rob Corddry. Right. But like his character.

In that situation. Yeah, wasn't she hanging out with like Odell Beckham Jr.? And she's like, no, I'd rather the Corddry. Yeah. Sure was. Well, now Rob Corddry is starting in another show, which with the other dude from Ballers. There's a Ballers spinoff?

No, it's not a spinoff, but it's the offensive lineman. Oh, yeah, yeah, that guy. Yeah, they're both in like a network television series. Corddry and the heart attack GM offensive lineman. Oh, Charles? Oh, Charles. I liked him. Yeah, I liked him too.

It was good. The show fell apart so hard this last season they didn't even try I stopped going to the gym during the last four episodes because getting through an episode was enough workout for the week they should have let us spin can we get this podcast

to the point where we can do a ballers comeback we should pitch real ballers HBO we got an Emmymy in the house we got an emmy in the house combined can read 10th grade level yeah not out loud but like but you know inside we're gonna sound it out we're gonna sound it out you give me something to read out loud let us fix ballers god that would have been awesome ball, and then it would be like asterisk fixed. Like Redux.

Yeah. It's just each episode's four hours. Well, one of the biggest mysteries is what the fuck happened to the writers on Ballers for the last season. Maybe we'll draft it today. I was going to say, I'm going to get a little goofy with this. Because we are gathered here today in the Forge of the Solid Dudes, not only to critique something we love with love, which is Ballers, but also to have mysteries.

Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. And we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock,

paper, scissors, shoot. Zach wins. Zach wins. Zach wins. That's what you said in the mirror 50 times when you woke up today.

No one picks. Podcast over. He just unplugs everything. Now, Zach, having won rock paper scissors isn't coming upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? It's a great question. It's kind of like lace in your shoes.

Why are you looking dead in my eyes? Because the last one was so shitty that I had and I was like, this one's pretty good. You just put a lace on one side and then you bring it over to the other side of your shoe and then put it through the little eyelet, bring it back over to the right side, put it through the eyelet, back over to the left side until it's all the way laced up

back and forth like that. Okay. That is what you do to lace. You put a lace on one side. Basically, one of these is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Zach, with that in mind, what will the order of today's mystery draft be?

It could be like doing it straight across. So you go straight across, put it through one of the eyelets, and then go up one eyelet, put it back over, and then straight across, like Run DMC style. Like they used to lace the superstars. I would give two inches off my wiener for everyone to have seen Sean's face

when he inside. You tried doing it for a hundred or so. I couldn't do it for one. Are you kidding me? It's a really hard job. That's why I don't do it. It's like playing a drum kit, right? You're like up here.

Yeah, like that. Yeah, it's a lot like the one that I'll use next episode when we cut that out. Sounds exactly what I'll say in a couple hours. Zach, what will the order of today's All Fantasy Everything podcast be? I think the order is Ian first. Whoa! It's technically a hot corner still.

Yeah. Hot opening. It's the hottest corner. I don't like hot opening. Some say it's... I don't either. That's it. I don't like it. I don't like it called. Some say it's... I don't either. That's it. I don't like it. I don't like it called that. David second,

Sean third, me fourth. Oh, shit. Hit him with the zig, then the zag. Zag corner. Alright, well, I have the first pick in the Mysteries, All Fantasy, Everything, which we will get to right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy, Everything

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spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're big! fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're big! With the first pick in the Mysteries. Where'd we go? We went... Damn, that's a good question.

We did go there, though. We did go, I'll tell you that. We went to the Americana. Man, I'm gonna go there, I think Sunday. Mall day. Heads up. Sunday? I think Sunday we should all do it. I got to take back a pair of jeans from the Gap. Mall y'all. I got to take back Sunday. My first pick is why Sean's bringing this up now.

Right before I was... It's a mystery, my friend. It's a mystery that I can't fucking solve. I would love to know. Some things are better left unsolved. I would love to fucking know. things are better left unsolved. I would love to fucking know. Let the dead lie, my friend. Man, there's so many.

There's so many good ones to pick here. I think my first one is going to be, what do we really know about aliens? Yeah. It's not a specific mystery. I guess you could. Are we alone in the universe? Are we on the government dump, though? I want them to say what they mystery. I guess you could. Are we alone in the universe? Are we on the government dump though?

I want them to say what they got. I do too. I know they got some juice on it one way or the other. They must. Even if it's like even if it's like no we have never made contact. Right. If they're like we've never made contact we have no compelling information. Yeah. I still want to know. That's a good call. This is a weird thing but like it was kind

of one of the only things I thought like with who's in power now i was like well if those kind of secrets are gonna be leaked it would be these people just holding on to it like a challenge flag for like if this impeachment stuff starts to get what do you think they even told him it's a great question yeah that's true there are people who make those decisions who are like, let's not tell him. Maybe he doesn't.

Let's tell him what he, let's tell him enough to where he'll be like, oh, okay, I know everything. Yeah. Yeah. He knows the KFC secret recipe. He knows the herbs and spices. The bush baked bean recipe.

Sir, that's really the only state secret. I'm sorry to tell you. The bare minimum presidential knowledge. He knows everybody on the Masked Singer before the season comes out. He has that delivered to him in a dossier. He knew it was T-Pain. Yeah, he knew that.

He knew that past him. Do you think Donald Trump has ever heard an entire T-Pain song? Yeah. Like top to bottom. Yeah. He's been in situations He hasn't heard it, but it's been playing. It's been playing. Yeah. There's situations where he's been doing things

where there may have been a full T-Pain song. She pop and she rolling. Yeah. Man, we got to get T-Pain on the pod. I would love to get T-Pain on the pod. Yeah, you want to hit him up right now? If we all start wearing hats like that, he'll notice us. That's as good an idea as any that I have had.

What are you guys doing? Why aren't you trying to get T-Pain's attention? We're wearing fuzzy top hats. We should go all the way to Wisconsin. Wisconsin? Is he in Wisconsin? No he just sings that I bet you in a mansion Somewhere in Wisconsin

It ain't nothing to do with the pain You can change your last name What's happening But anyways So what do you think? Yeah I think There's aliens I don't think there's been contact

I think they definitely exist but I don't think they've come to although why not I don't know I mean it's the thing where I'm like I don't see why not the Area 51 stuff is crazy there was like a there was like an Air Force base in Canada

where it was like all these people who were in the Canadian Air Force were like, yeah, it was like. Yeah. You know, it's crazy when like a lot of people will cop to like, yeah, there was something going on. There were pilots recently who were like, yeah, we like they and like the government was like, we don't know what that was like. Mm hmm. And also octopus. Well, what about them? Oh, yeah.

They can't tell where they're from. Yeah. Their DNA is unlike anything else on the planet. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. They can't tell where they're from. Yeah. Their DNA is unlike anything else on the planet. Oh, really? Yeah. It's crazy. And did you know that jellyfish could survive in space? Really?

Yeah. If you take them to space and just let it go, it just. It'd be fine. Yeah. Whoa. What if, why haven't we done five? We sent a bunch of jellyfish. There should just be jellyfish floating around.

He's not alone. The fucking butterfly effect, dude. They get closer to the sun, and then they get like radiation, and then they get huge. Oh, yeah. If there's other aliens out there, we could send out jellyfish,

and then they'd be like, well, there's jellyfish. I mean, I saw them in space, so obviously we're not the only ones. Maybe that's the thing we have in common, like Batman and Superman when the war kicks off. You know, like both their moms are named Barbara and we're both just like jellyfish. And they're like, yeah.

And then it's cool. That was such a dumb part of that movie. I forgot about that. Oh, that's my mom's name. We both have moms. Wait, is that in Justice League or something? Or Batman versus Superman? I don't remember that.

Ridiculous. I just want to know what aliens look like. Because this is the most efficient body type for Earth. Yeah. I just want to know what the whole thing... Is it going to be humanoid? You've got to imagine there's probably

so many different... They could just be a ball of gas or something. I don't know. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's why it's so cool. Just a bag of hot air. Wait, Shane's an alien. Just a hot opening. Are they like the Alex Mack puddles, you know? Oh, I forgot about the secret world of Alex Mack.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Larissa Olmec? Hell yeah. 10 things I hate about you she was into. So, yeah, I just want to know, what do we really know about aliens? Like, the highest level, like, what's the real intel? Because I guess, I mean, like... Would it scare you to know? Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, me too. what do we really know about aliens like the highest level like what's the real intel because i guess i mean like would it scare you to know yeah yeah yeah me too i don't think it would

fuck me up you don't because no matter what the truth is it has never been prevalent enough to affect our day-to-day that's right so like it's probably not that bit unless we're all the major unless it's like that they live shit and you put on the glasses and you're like, those people are aliens or whatever. That could be it. Like men in black type shit. There's alien technology all over. But also, to what David was saying,

it hasn't had a negative, if there is. I don't fucking notice. An octopus is alien technology. Those things have eight pussies. Do they really? David, that's not what octopus means. I think those are tentacles, David. Oh, God.

Oh, my God. I can't believe I got that off. I can't believe I got that off. That was my buzzer beater. That was the best joke I've ever told. I got your bite on eight pussies? Give me an Emmy. Give me a fucking Emmy.

Take it. It's right there. It's right there. Take it. You should be able to get that off eight times at least. It's yours until I earn it back. Because you were saying like they have DNA like nothing we've done. I'm like maybe eight vaginas. I really thought something

was to it for a second too. There wasn't. Oh boy, eight vaginas on an octopus. This guy is a joker. I'm so happy. Oh, I'm so happy. Well, you're going to be even happier because it's time for your first pick. I want to know what happened to the Ark of the Covenant.

Oh, yeah. I went to write it down and nobody else said anything. Yeah. My first thought is, imagine if they're like, well, that wasn't real to begin with. No, it was like, there's like record of it, right? And it got lost. What happened?

From Babylon? Is that who? What exactly is the Ark of the Covenant? It's the tablets that the Ten Commandments are on. Yeah, yeah. And there's, like, rumors. Like, some people say it was taken to Ethiopia. They do say that. Ethiopians say that.

Yeah, there's, like, all kinds of rumors about what happened to it. It's a gold-covered wooden chest with lid cover described in the Book of Exodus as containing the Ten Commandments. Yep. Yeah. And it's just, like, because if you find the answer to that, I feel like there's a lot of other answers surrounding that. Archaeological evidence shows strong cultic activity

at Kiriath-Jerim in the 8th and 7th centuries BC, well after the Ark was supposedly removed from there to Jerusalem. In particular, archaeologists found a large elevated podium associated with the Northern Kingdom and not the Southern Kingdom, which may have been a shrine. Thomas Romer states this indicates that the Ark was not moved to Jerusalem until much later, possibly during the reign of King Josiah. Don't dive into any other mysteries, though,

if you're going to say the questions that might be answered from the Ark of the Covenant. Huh? I don't. Well, you said it could answer. You could find out a lot of other things if you found that, but like, don't say anything. Oh, I mean, it's the basis of all the major religions.

What was your question? What happened to all those face-melted Nazis? Yeah, I mean, that's. There's your mister. And just like the idea of if it is an Ethiopian state. So if it is an Ethiopian, there's just like some secret order protecting the original i hadn't thought about that that's like that's the da vinci code shit yeah like that's like wild

that's it that's yeah and it's like the ten commandments that's like that's the god of abraham that's where all this shit like like that proof of that is like would change the course of human history there's a whole census disappearance from the biblical narrative there have been a number of claims having discovered or having possession of the ark mount nebo in uh where is that along the jordan river slightly south uh or south of due east from Jerusalem. Due east of... Ethiopia. The Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church claims to possess the...

And this is all via Wikipedia. Possess the Ark of the Covenant in Exum. The object is currently kept under guard in a treasury near the church of Our Lady Mary of Zion. Yeah, they say they have it. Which is crazy. David, I want you to pitch where you're Robert Langdon

you know those like Dan Brown movies and you go find the Ark of the Covenant oh dude I want to pitch that to Netflix it's like a hilarious romp you get like a bad wig on yeah like that wig Jamel has there's people in Zimbabwe the Lemba people,

who claim that it got carried all the way down there. It's at Tommy Jack's. Oh, it's at Tommy Jack's. It's hanging right up above the TV. Thou shall eat chiseling. Everyone's so stupid, they just don't know what it is, but it's there. Whoever's got it, give it back!

We need it! You need to put the Emmy right in between it. It belongs to the Jews. God gave it to us. You're Jewish. And we 100% purposefully put it in everything. And we misplaced it somewhere

and we're sorry for that. Yeah. Sometimes I lose my keys. Doesn't mean I don't deserve to drive. Did I leave some tablets? My tablets here? Hey, Ethiopia. Crazy night last night.

It was five on one, five on the other. That last ADM really fucked me up. Did I leave my commandments here? Yeah, we were drinking

the fermented fruit of the honeysuckle last night. Quite a bit of it. More than we should have. It was unadvised. There was another plague. Headaches.

Everyone had headaches. Headaches. Everyone had headaches. Headaches. Dry mouth. Nausea. Nausea. Diarrhea. And we're not even close to Pepto-Bismol being available. No, we just had to take it raw. We didn't even eat pink. You used to die from diarrhea.

Could you imagine shitting yourself to death? Uh- diarrhea. Oh, yeah. Could you imagine shitting yourself to death? Uh-uh. I can't. Yeah, I mean. I'd prefer not. There's times where I've been like, well, if this goes unchecked. Lock the gates.

Lock the gates. Sean, time for your first mystery. Screaming at your butthole. Lock the gates. Timeian time for your first mystery screaming at your butthole lock the gates time for you to build a mystery is there an afterlife oh you believe in magic and ghosts well I'm just interested like so

cause if there is then ghosts are real I've gone back and forth with folks that are religious who think there's an afterlife but they don't believe in ghosts and I'm like how what is the difference to me because we all go up into the sky you sound serious David doesn't

no I mean that's like I just don't know if afterlife for sure means equals ghosts but one sounds as ridiculous as the other they're the same thing but they're like conflicting. Yeah. Right.

I'm not saying ghosts like goblins and ghouls. I'm just saying like spirits floating in that, like with unfinished business. I'm not speaking of goblins and ghouls. Heed my words. I speak not of goblins and ghouls. Nay, nay.

What of goblins and ghouls? Nay, nay. What I refer to as the specters which still haunt this stone-cold hallway. While I have your ears, let me just bend it real quick. I speak not of goblins and ghouls. Just people... Foolish old man!

I speak not of goblins and ghouls. People behind me at the grocery store where I get like 50 things of cat food Just so it'll take a while Well I have your attention sir Just all the baby food they got I am not Dracula Is there an abulant

I lie in his dirt If a weaving spider may steal a moment of your time. I've known you for a while. I've never heard you say that. I just thought of it. You're full of tricks, bud. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Man, is there an afterlife?

I guess, yeah. I don't want to know. I really, I mean, I want to know, I guess. But like, if we're being serious, given the choice, would you want to know? If there is one? If this was it or if it wasn't? No, I don I want to know I guess but like if we're being serious given the given the choice would you want to know if there is if this was it or if it wasn't no I don't want to know I don't think I'd want to know either it'd be tricky

if there wasn't you could just go kill people you'll be fine is that is that what's keeping you from killing from people there's a couple things Jesus Christ that's a couple things. Jesus Christ. That's a big one. That's the other one.

A couple loose screws. Kind of works in tandem with the afterlife. I mean, if there's, Laura, if there's an afterlife, I can just kill anyone. Yeah, I could just go killing people. We'll all be fine. We're all probably going to be fine. And they'll come back as ghosts because there's an afterlife. Here's all I need to know baby

Energy cannot be created nor destroyed Everything probably alright This whole whatever's moving this thing around That energy is going to go somewhere else Maybe to a nightclub Maybe a nightclub we start You know We pawn the Emmy

Would you rather go to like a heaven situation or would you want to be a ghost because also the thing about a ghost is the planet's gonna end at some point yeah i mean i haven't supposed to be like then you get to be would you rather be you get to rule the space ghosts yeah well that's the thing if you're if you're a ghost on the world on the world like you can't be killed by the Earth dying, right? No, you're like, what was you, hot? Stuck on a wasteland? I don't know. Well, that's what I'm saying. Ghosts don't have to haunt

things. And then if the Earth dies, then the only remnants of humanity are going to be these ghosts doomed to travel space forever. Yeah, but space is... I smell a sitcom. Forever. You can be like Dr. Manhattan. The real last of us what do you mean

you could be like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen he could just go anywhere in the universe anytime he wanted to snap his fingers that's the kind of ghost I imagine he wants to be like a superman ghost no I'd go to heaven heaven's supposed to be the shit why would you not go there I was talking to my friend about what superhero

we would like to have sex with and she was like she's like dr manhattan shame free five way that's happening in the watchman i would say shout out but i don't maybe she probably doesn't want that out it was hilarious though yeah that's dope shame free five way yeah that's dope shame free five way are we alone or not are we alone is there an afterlife are we alone can I say she hold before we move on though how long do you think

it would be fun to be a ghost for I think two years is probably the amount of time if you could travel like instantly I think it would be fun you can't do anything Two years is probably the amount of time. If you could travel instantly or whatever. I think it would be fun because you can't do anything and you have to just watch other people live their lives. Yeah, but you can go watch.

You can blow Dan Aykroyd. Yeah. That's true. That ghost would never shut up about that. We know you can blow Dan Aykroyd. Bobby Brown claims he's had sex with a ghost. Yeah, he has. Bobby Brown is wild.

Zach Toscani, time for your first and second picks as it is. A serpentine. First pick, I'm going to go Zodiac Killer. I want to know who the Zodiac Killer is. Yeah, man. I've spent too many times re-watching that movie. Trying to figure it out. Look for clues.

Trying to pinpoint. I bet you were going to say, like, I've read too many articles and books. Well too many articles books well i've read like some yeah i've never read any of the books i don't get like that too deep into it but it's ain't a reading ass but there is a theory that it was ted kaczynski really was the zodiac killer because he was going to berkeley he was like a mathematician genius he was going to berkeley during the time of those killings. And a lot of the mail was coming from like outside of California and the Bay area. And it was like,

Oh, cause he was traveling to where he was eventually caught Montana, Montana. He would say, for those who don't know the Zodiac killer, somebody who murdered a bunch of people in the bay area right right and he sent letters into the newspaper taunting everyone like publish this and you'll never catch in a code and like being like man is the most dangerous animal to kill

all this kind of stuff and just you know causing more mayhem than anything i mean that's scary man yeah i man you never think about because if guys ever, I've never lived under anything like that. No. I was talking to my buddy Opie, and he was talking about when the DC Sniper was happening. Oh, my God. He was like, dude, we had to like, he was like, people weren't taking their kids to school. We weren't allowed to play outside. It was like along the freeway and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, oh, you just like lived under that. Yeah. Well, LA had the- Shouts to Opie. In the 80s, didn't they have like this was like the night strangler or the something probably because it was like there were some in glendale yeah you got caught in glendale the night stalker is that night stalker yeah yeah i don't know i mean you know watching like

mindhunter you look at all those people like there was that person in atlanta that killed like 20 kids or some shit yeah and oh yeah like they just had no idea podcast about that shit I've watched Mindhunter about it okay yeah I mean but I looked it all up it's pretty accurate yeah towards the show I've never seen Mindhunter I just listened to that podcast

isn't there that theory that if technology would have been the way it is now they would have caught the Zodiac killer like immediately like if they would have had phones and things like that like cell phones and stuff. Oh, I was like, they had phones, Sean. But technology, where it's at. Dude, if they had cars and phones and detectives and shit.

A lot of the electricity back in the 70s, dude. Because the horses, they got stuck in the mud. Oh, well, it was because, yeah, well, I think it was because he did, he murdered in different counties, and those counties weren't communicating with each other. So no one knew it was the same person. Oh, really long time.

Cause it was like everything's, it wasn't all centralized. Like, so I think that's what you probably mean. Like, yeah. Where it was like some places didn't have like fax machines. So you're like, how the fuck are we going to get any documents? Crazy. Hey, I got an idea for a spinoff podcast. We should do

a podcast about our favorite murders. Oh, should we? We could call it Our Favorite Murders. Yeah. Shout out to Karen. She's so funny. There certainly wouldn't be any blowback a bunch of guys talking about their favorite murders. We're talking, Moina. Karen and George, you are

awesome. Yeah. Check it out. It's an up and coming podcast. They're just Moina. Karen and George, you are awesome. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, check it out. It's an up and coming podcast. They're just getting started. They're just getting, they're dipping their toe in. And quite frankly, they could use a follow. There's a whole like, there's like, there's this like a small amount of blowback where

people are like, I don't know how I feel about like people capitalizing off of other people's deaths and everything. But like the way it strikes me is like if women constantly live under the specter of thinking they're going to get killed by men might as well make a fucking podcast and a couple of dollars off of it you know what i mean like also some of it was like patton oswald's late life late wife was like oh you solved the murder like you found like you found who was responsible just because like something that was your interest you just really dived in on

that's right I forgot about that yeah in that book hell yeah so the Zodiac Killer yes and your second pick second pick I'm gonna go and you're gonna like this Ian Pacific Northwest vibes where's DB Cooper

and the money he took. Stole a plane. I don't know. I don't know anything about it. Oh, David Borey Cooper. Which is weird. Found. The G is non-existent.

They couldn't find it because they didn't know it was a GB. Yeah. Happens all the time. Yeah. Again, it's modern technology. Happens all the time. If we would have had phones they had the gsi they would have cars uh no db cooper well it's your pick yes oh so it was like this guy who

it was in seattle flying to portland and he showed up and he was like dressed in like an like a businessman kind of but he's wearing sunglasses and he had a briefcase that i think was they've i soon saw that he was handcuffed or handcuffed to it he gets on the plane a commercial plane he sits like all the way in the back and he's being really kind of like it's not really saying much but he's just like kind of ominous looking and then at some point he calls up the stewardess is like, I have a bomb. I'm going to blow up the plane unless you open the back hatch and you lower the plane

to some certain altitude. So they did that. And at some point he jumped out and it was like right between I think right on the border of Oregon and Washington or something. I think Ian's looking it up. Yeah. Yeah. Go in there. Because it was like 200 grand.

He's like the plane and 200 grand. It was on Thanksgiving Eve in 1971. A middle-aged man carrying a black attache case approached the flight counter of Northwest Orient Airlines. It's called Attachee. Attachee. At the Portland International Airport. Attachee 69.

Which is the greatest airport in the country. He identified himself as Dan Cooper and used cash to purchase a one-way ticket on flight 305, a 30-minute trip north to Seattle. That's a 45. Anyway, he boarded the aircraft, a Boeing 727, took seat 18C in the rear passenger cabin. He lit a cigarette, ordered a bourbon and soda. Fellow passengers described him as a man in his mid-40s,

between 5'10 and 6' tall. He wore a light, this is loafers, a dark suit, neatly pressed. Anyway, yeah, dressed like a businessman. So he, yeah, handed the flight attendant a note that said, Miss, you'd better look at that note. I have a bomb, is what he said to her. Because she probably thought it was just a small number. Oh, yeah, he wanted $200,000 in negotiable American currency,

four parachutes, and a fuel truck standing by in Seattle to refuel the aircraft upon arrival. So they fucking landed. Is this boring, me describing this? No, no, no. I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Because I was kind of wondering what happened, too. Like, how did everybody...

Yeah, that's right. He got the plane, right? So he landed in Sea-Tac, that's right. He made the demands. He said I was going to see tack. Yeah. Release the passengers except for the crew. That's right. Yeah. They gave him the money. They gave him the money cash and it was like small

unmarked bills or whatever, but I think they did mark them right? They did. They did do something where they or they wrote down all the serial numbers and to keep track of like, if anyone ever spends this money, we'll find it immediately. And I don't think it ever,

it just seems like a no way out. Two fighters to follow it too. So after takeoff, when they took off again from Seattle, after getting the money, uh, Cooper told Muckalo to join. And so the,

put the whole crew in the cockpit and remain there. And then he tied something around his waist and a warning light flashed in the cockpit indicating that the air stairs in the back had been activated. And then he jumped out somewhere. So gnarly. And they only found some small amount of that money

on the ground or slightly burned burned or something they never found any other money they never found him they never found the parachute that money was never has never been in circulation that is wild tight that was a good pick man yeah dude isn't that shit crazy yeah there's just no resolve to it like Like, no, but they have like sketches. Are there even photos of the dude? Like legit ones? It just looks like a, well, yeah. Just drawings. Yeah.

Because nobody really would have. He just looks like a guy like, I'll take a bourbon and soda. That's what he looks like. I'm going to light the cigarette on this airplane, I say. I wonder if the bourbon and soda was like in the moment or if he had that in the plan too. Like, and then I'll get the bourbon and soda. I'm going to get on the center of a bourbon and soda. I'm going to smoke a cigarette. Get on the center of a bourbon. Smoke a cigarette.

Before I parachute out of a commercial airline. They've got some, the Wikipedia page is compelling. They've got a bunch of like different potential suspects and shit. Whoa. Tight. Yeah. D.B. Cooper and the money he

took. Sean, time for your second pick? I want to know if there's a Bigfoot. Ooh, I do too, man. I mean, I want there to be. I want there to be badly. Maybe Bigfoot ate D.B. Cooper. And that's why they can't find him.

Maybe it's the fucking Bigfoot, dude. Ate the money. Spent all that money. I feel like we would have found him by now i feel that way too right who knows a skunk ape there's there's so much i don't know he's out there but i'm not speaking of ghouls and goblins i just see how i can get kicked out of Ralph's? Who wants to talk? A wilderness ape. Son, you have big feet, but that is not a big foot.

I mean, people just say it's impossible. I don't know. There's so much. It could be anywhere up there. Who knows? I want it to be somewhere like the northern, in between like Oregon and Alaska, somewhere. That's the crazy thing is there really is like a fuck ton of land that is just not.

It's so thick. There could be one in like Siberia or some shit. There could. But I mean, I feel like someone would have murked one by now. Would have for sure murked one. I mean, I, you know, I. It is a mystery. I'm with you.

But I just, I want, I want there to be one. Cause it's like, I always think like, oh yeah, it's more believable for me for like there are, there's a dinosaur at the bottom of the ocean still alive rather than because you're like no one's really ever been down there. I've even brought up like who's to say there's not people with gills down at the bottom of the ocean. I did some heavy drugs one night.

I've been known to say that. You did some hard drugs and did that? Man, I'm just saying these guys got fucking gills. No, I didn't do hard drugs to think about that. You got halfway to steal a submarine? Nobody can tell me there's not. Nobody knows. We haven't saying these guys got fucking gills. No, I didn't do hard drugs to think about that but nobody can tell me. You got halfway to steal a submarine? Nobody can tell me there's not. Nobody knows. We haven't been to that part of the ocean. Wait.

It's a dangerous path you're going down. You think there's dudes down there? I think there's people down there. I don't really think that but there could be. There could be. Pressure, right? Which part of the ocean do you think we haven't been to where they might be? The very bottom. We've been to the very very bottom we haven't explored the whole ocean the marianas trench like the deepest part people haven't explored the bottom they probably swam

away right all the oceans they probably they probably they saw it coming they're like they saw it on the on the low on the ocean radar that they have developed down there from underwater technology they get fuel regulations can i tell you nothing scares me more than the bottom of the ocean? It's the scariest. Just to be that far away from... I'm just thinking about it. I read a story about how they did

it in the 1800s. It is terrifying. They went halfway down and the glass started to crack and the guy inside was like, we're already halfway there. Just keep going. Halfway and the glass is cracking. Take me back up. Wait, they did it in the 1800s?

Yeah. That's like that shit we were talking about when people were so tough. People were mad tough. I would never. The whole thing took probably like 20 hours or something. Could you imagine being all the way under?

It's silent? No. Because they can't sink you. It's not like they just drop you. You have to go down slowly. Man. And you have to come up even slower. Yeah, that's where you get the bends, right?

Like air bubbles in your blood. Not to be confused with the runs. Yeah, the runs are different. Yeah. The Hria. The Hria. Although you don't get the bends if it's being pumped in through a long hose.

That's what she said. Come on, man. Eight pussies. Yeah. You want to know if the Bigfoot is real? I do. I want it to be real. I do. I want this cool shit to happen. I do? I do. I want it to be real. I do.

I want this cool shit to happen. I do, I say. You think it's a Pacific Northwest creature? Sasquatch? I think it could be anywhere in the world. It could be in the Appalachian Mountains. It could be in Russia. Deep, deep up in northern Russia somewhere.

That could just be a Russian dude. There's no way to tell. One thing I wanted to do as a kid, not as a kid, as a teen, problematic teen, was to rent a Bigfoot outfit and go up in the Forest Hills outside of Portland and then wait for a long stretch of road. And when you see a car where you know the headlights would hit you and then just run across the road and then see what happened with the people in the car. Because they would swear that they saw Bigfoot, but then I was like, I'll get shot and killed. Dude, I have an oddly specific similar story really that's gonna really freak you out oh no it's like so my stepdad when he was in high school because he's from norway right

when he was in high school they made they took a rowboat and they built a top of it to look and made it look like a submarine and then they sailed it out into like the fjord by where he's from and they got arrested by the like arm the norwegian army whoa yeah and they were tried at like the high court really every year on the anniversary there's like an article that comes out about it it was like a big yeah like he says being invaded by the Soviets yeah that's what they thought and they like he said that like the the Navy who like tracked him down he said

the cops said something that translated to like stop in the name of the law yeah wow yeah yeah yeah so don't fire a torpedo if I look if I look at I can look it up I can find there's but like so like every year they're like they do we'll do like oh where did he get a lot of trouble no they didn't get in

trouble at all also they're every year also they did it with it was like three or four of them and there was one guy who wanted who did it with them or he like was involved in the planning but they wouldn't let him go in the boat because he was too fat. Yeah. And I guess when they got caught, his dad tried to like turn him in, was like, hey, my son was with them too. Whoa. Damn. Yeah.

Crazy, huh? Damn. So on the anniversary, did they get a party sub? I don't, that's hilarious. God damn it. I'm having this eight pussies day. You're not the only one. Fuck you, man.

Help yourself to that Emmy there, Zach. Help yourself to that Emmy there, Zach. Help yourself to that Emmy. That's changed hands. It's fucking WrestleMania. Zach came in the other night and we're like, pick it up. And he picked it up. I go, put it above your fucking head. Feels like it's got to be above your head at some point.

It's a heavy fucking Emmy, baby. David, time for your second pick. The Eastern Island statues. Oh, yeah. I don't know what that is it's so yeah you do would you what it's cool it's the eastern island okay yeah it's cooler stonehenge sound like you said eastern islands oh no no i didn't think you thought eastern island no i thought like bunny rabbit yeah yeah eastern island yeah yeah just because they don't know how they did it right any faces and they don't know what it is and that's like and they're all facing i think geographically the same plate or looking at the

same stuff like that is so interesting to me because it's just like to have these major in of like that was like at the time it would have been so hard to do and we just don't know for what the moai yeah on rapaui. What'd you call me? He's been calling me that for a while. I'll be taking that Emmy back. It's hard. I'll be taking the Emmy back. It's hard hitting jokes like that.

Yeah, they're called the Moais. And like, I don't know. It's just like, what did they think? You know they have bodies underneath if you like dig down oh really yeah are you fucking with me i swear to god are they like i can't tell if they are and i'm not fucking with you they have they are less mysterious they've solved a few of the mysteries around them well fuck me no it's still a mystery there's still mysterious things about them they were placed placed where they were around freshwater sources on that island. Oh.

Yeah. For what? To indicate where freshwater was. Oh, so they were just like markers? Oh, man. What an expensive marker. Lewis, get on this. Mark where there's water. I'm thinking it needs to be

a giant fucking statue. It's the only way people are going to know, dude. Yeah, hold on. I'll show you a picture of the bodies. I didn't know there were bodies. Yeah. I mean, it's still excavating them. It's still crazy.

Yeah, yeah. Oh. It's even crazier, really. Yeah. I really just thought it was heads. Me too. And they also figured out how they moved them around the island. How did they do it?

They've done it without... So, like, you tie a rope to each side, and you basically rock it back and forth all the way across the island? Yeah. Yeah. It's really crazy the amount of mysteries that used to exist where people were like,

yeah, we just don't know how the pyramids were built. And it was like, well, if you didn't care about your labor force, you can kind of build anything. Yeah, right? Yeah. You just cool with a bunch of people dying. We don't know how crop circles work. And it was like, well, it was people with two by fours and some string.

You know? I mean, or it's a mystery. No, I thought crop circles was debunked. Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, it was people walking around with two by fours attached to ropes. It's funny because they still make, I think it is. Yeah, it was people walking around with two-by-fours attached to ropes. It's funny because they still make, I don't know if a new document, but that was like 15 years ago they were saying that shit, and people are still like, I mean, I don't know about all that.

So Rapa Nui is the name of the island in Polynesian. Ooh, yeah. I like that song. Ooh, yeah. Rapa Nui. I think those people also, like the people who used to live on that island, like basically. Rapa Nui. Rapa Nui. Rapa Nui. I think those people also, like the people who used to live on that island, like basically. Rapa Nui.

Rapa Nui. Rapa Nui. Pum, pum, pum, pum, pum. Somebody can correct me, but I think they got like so into building the statues or something, or like, no, they like cut down all the trees to help move the statues, but then like that led to like an ecological collapse of the island,

and then they had to leave. Oh, is that what happened? Yeah, because the island's all like grass plains and stuff now. So they like over-farmed it. But the statues are still there. Yeah, so the Easter Island statues, why did they build them?

Why? Why do they look so crazy? Baba Booey. Yeah, it wasn't a great pick. My next one's pretty good you know what's funny is I like me we have that information now

remember when we drafted fictional night out in Chicago and I picked two places that were extremely real what TGIF Fridays no it was the Century Club and the Tasty Freeze I thought they were made up. I didn't think, I thought Dr. Dre was like,

let me make up a fake club to rap about. I'll pick the Chicago White Sox. Yeah, come on. I think there were some other, like, didn't you pick a few more than that too? I might've picked another one that we had to shut down. There were a couple that they called you out on the spot. Yeah, where you're like, no.

Detroit is a real place, Sean. It's not just the setting of eight mile and robocop and robocop whoa that mashup we were talking about this if yeah if robocop was an underground street we were talking about this yesterday ian and i do you think eminem is the most serious person on the planet no who do you think is more serious than Eminem I think that it's one of those things where it's like a lot of times in entertainment people portray an image

and then you find out they're the complete opposite I feel like he might be like actually really fun you really do really yeah I don't think I do not. I think he is a very serious gentleman at his house. Even. No,

I think, I don't know. I can't, I have no stories or anecdotes to back it up. Yeah. I don't either. I'm just, I just, yeah.

Going off of the vibe he shoots out now. So it's time for my second and third picks as it is, as it is a serpentine draft. It's kind of like lace lace in your shoes. Kind of. Oh yeah. You can, you can you can uh parallels there wasn't forget the one that i said the other day where you're like that was the worst one i've ever heard it wasn't the one oh that was from the last episode yeah we had an episode that we're not gonna put out it was just not good and not like in a fun way where you're like oh no we got you you're listening to this instead

and it's for the best. This one's good so far. It's really good. It's about to get better when I pick. When I pick. Ian's eyes got open. The Antikythera Mechanism. No.

I, obviously. You know what that is. I know exactly what you mean. Say it for me and Zach. I'll say it for the two of you. The Antikythera Mechanism. We got the door open. The arts bowl of people.

What are the Atkatula, Pichakabula? No, the anti-Gymsera medicine. The Antikythera mechanism. So 115 years ago, an archaeologist was sifting through objects found in the wreck of a 2,000-year-old vessel off the Greek island Antikythera. Among the wreck's treasures, beautiful vases and pots, jewelry, a bronze statue of an ancient philosopher. The treasures of the day. This is off of Vox, by the way,

just to make a source. One Shane Torres tweet. Shout out to Brian Resnick on Vox, at B underscore Resnick, who wrote this article. But among those treasures was the most peculiar thing, a series of brass gears and dials

mounted in a case the size of a mantel clock. Archaeologists dubbed the instrument the Antikythera Mechanism, the genius and mystery of this piece of ancient Greek technology. Arguably the world's first computer is why Google is highly... Okay, well, that part doesn't matter. So,

basically, if you look at the machine, you see evidence of at least two dozen gears laid neatly on top of one another, calibrated with the precision of a mastercrafted Swiss watch. This was a level of technology that archaeologists would never have dated before the 16th century. And this was discovered 2,000 years ago.

Whoa. So it's a level of technology that people weren't able to reproduce until the 1600s. Alien technology. But they found we, people weren't able to reproduce until the 1600s alien tech, but they found it in a fucking shipwreck and the shipwrecked more than 2000 years ago. Wow. Yeah.

I'm saying so they don't, some people thought it was like a toy model of the planets. Other people think it was like an astrolabe, which was used to deduce a longitude and latitude, I think. Um, Oh, so yeah,

there's no way to know what it was. Yeah. And the prevailing theory is just gears. You just like turn a thing and it would make other things turn. Did they try turning it on and turning it back on? It's like pretty... Did they blow...

Did they blow in it and put rubbing alcohol on it? Did they blow in it? That was the first oncologist. I have to, you have to go through this step just so we can rule it out did you check the batteries uh

whoa so there's a guy Princeton uh science historian thought that it was used to uh predict the like locate

like a lunar map kind of thing but they just don't fucking know they just don't know what it is but basically it was a computer

for more than 2000 years ago though like that is the level of like can know they just don't know what it is but basically it was a computer for more than 2 000 years ago though like that is the level of like that analogy that was that is some jewels burn some yeah some greek dude was like i'm gonna send you a text you up and you're gonna get it on this little magic box when the gears are running that's me that's crazy so there's no there's never been another one found. No. They have no idea who made it.

So I'm reading more here. Oh, so it was a lunar calendar. The mechanism had several dials and clock phases, each of which served a different function for measuring movements of the sun, moon, stars, and planets. But they were all operated by one main crank, little stone or glass orbs that would have moved across the machine's face

to show the motion of Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn, and Jupiter. Whoa. The sun and the's face to show the motion of Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn, and Jupiter. Whoa. The sun and the moon, the 12 constellations of the Zodiac, a solar calendar charting the 365 days of the year, a lunar calendar charting the 19 year lunar calendar.

And the phases of the moon too. Fucking crazy, man. Who did that? If I think about this stuff too hard, I start to get hard. No, scary. For real. I start to freak out a little bit i've had to do this with all kinds of shit where i'm like i just have to if i dive in too much in my own head i have to like watch family guy for a while or something just to go the opposite direction yeah out of space yeah where it's like how did someone how the fuck do

you find out what the planets are doing when you don't like you i don't know how we figured anything i know for real like just a bunch of means we wouldn't have really got past today no no no today i was asked to go yes we would have if it was just a bunch of me's no i'm fine with hunting and gathering yeah yeah you work four hours a day you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna pound the ground down for when we lay down another house or something. I can do that. I can scare off

varmints. I think I would have figured out blankets. I'm going to take everyone's advice. I think I would have been like, you know what? Let me put that wolf on at night. I've really been i've really been thinking and i'm i'm actually really good at pounding sand no that shit when because you

just have to trust people who tell you something about the universe you're like i mean i can't dude i trust people for everything you think i know how the internet works not really doctors and pilots are my where i'm like i got to trust this stranger and just know that they know what they're doing or what they know what they're talking about. It's like I forget who freaking me out. It might have been Nate Bergazzi who had that joke where it's like, if you dropped him like way back when he'd like

I can't explain anything to you. How's the future work? We got computers. I don't know. I'll build one. Nah, I can't. Can't be, build one. Nah. Yeah. Nah, I can't. Can't be doing all that. Can't do that.

I don't know about all that. Time for my third pick. Moving on from the Antikythera Mechanism to the Havana Sonic Attacks. What are you doing? Say those things together again. These are bands, Ian. Antikythera Mechanism, Havana Sonic Attack. These sound like bands. These are the opening bands. Antikythera Mechanism Havana Sonic Attack Antikythera Mechanism Havana Sonic Attack

Antikythera Mechanism Havana Sonic Attack Antikythera Mechanism Havana Sonic Attack Antikythera Mechanism Havana Sonic Attack Antikythera Mechanism Havana Sonic Attack Ark of the Covenant Ark of the Covenant Ark of the Covenant Easter Island

Ark of the Covenant Ark of the Covenant Ark of the Covenant. Ark of the Covenant. Easter Island. Ark of the Covenant. Ark of the Covenant. Ark of the Covenant. Rapa Nui. Antikythera Mechanism. Zodiac Killer. Well, that one's easier. The Havana Sonic Attack. So, have you not heard of these? No, I've not heard of these. No, I have no

idea. Havana Cuba? Or Cuba? I'm from Cuba, Bobby. Cuba, see? So, it's the Havana syndrome is a name popularized by the media in 2018 for purported acoustic attacks on U.S. and Canadian embassy staff, first reported in Cuba and then in China. Beginning in August 2017, reports surfaced that American and Canadian

diplomatic personnel in Cuba had suffered a variety of health problems dating back to late 2016. And accusations were made that these are the result of attacks using unspecified technology, possibly acoustic in nature. Oh, like they were saying your body is a wonderland? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't use my hands. The health problems typically had a sudden onset. The victim would suddenly begin hearing strange grating noises that they perceived as coming from a specific direction.

And then some of them experienced that as a pressure or a vibration or a sensation comparable to driving a car with the windows partly rolled down. You know that wob, wob, wob, wob, wob, that thing that happens in cars. The durations of the attacks ranged from 20 seconds to 30 minutes and always happened while the diplomats were either at home or in hotel rooms. Other people nearby, family members, and guests in neighboring rooms did not

report hearing anything. Oh, sonic attacks. Sonic attacks, yeah. That's crazy. Like a really fast hedgehog. Yeah. Do you think like sonic the restaurant? I don't know what I thought. I didn't think like sonic. No, like sound attacks. So some U.S. I didn't think like Sonic. No, like sound attacks. So some U.S. embassy individuals have reportedly experienced lasting health effects,

including one U.S. diplomat who said to now need a hearing aid after it. The State Department declared that the health problems were either the result of an attack or due to exposure to a yet unknown device. Whoa. But the symptoms include hearing loss, memory loss, nausea, and they think it was like a either sonic or infrasound weapon that they had in Cuba and in China that they just aimed at diplomats.

That is terrifying shit. Like there's some new weapon that we don't know about. People can't even prove it's a weapon. I think you just forgot. Yeah, I think you just hear weird. Sorry, it's not our fault. That's fucked up, dude. Isn't that crazy?

And now it's happening in China, too. Oh, man, we're next. See, I don't want to know this. It's so crazy. If it was a weapon, you're like, well, damn it. We wouldn't even know. You could probably fly with it. Yeah.

TSA ain't catching that, I promise. They don't catch me with weed dog time for the new dg cooper they don't find anything yeah they don't i've never i've flown straight up with weed flower you know i don't get on a flight without my katana yeah into texas out of tech shouldn't stop incriminating yeah i've had quite a few times where I used to bring like a full-size screwdriver to take apart skateboards, and they'd pull it out, and they'd be like, what's this for? And I'm like, take apart my board if I need to.

And they're like, all right. It's a full, big-ass screwdriver. It might as well be a knife. I could kill someone with it. They just let it ride. It's a weird one. Lighters all the time? Lighters?

Really? Lighters all the time. It's so easy. Yeah. Yeah, and you're not supposed to, right? They're not supposed to have a lighter? I think I've glummed the lighter in my pocket even. Yeah. Just put it in the not supposed to, right? They're not supposed to have a lighter. I think I've come with a lighter in my pocket even. Yeah.

Just put it in the- I want to know what pick you got in your pocket for your third pick. I'm picking the Denver airport. Oh, yeah. Yes. All that shit. All that shit. Fucking murals.

The bunkers underneath. Why'd they scrap it and build it all over again? Yeah, why is it all the way fucking out there? Why is it all the way out there? It's by Elizabeth, dog. It's far. It doesn't make... Very, very far away.

It's not that by Elizabeth, but closer to Denver. 40 minutes out of town? Yeah, it's that whole everything about... Have you seen those murals? Yeah. Well, I think... Are you talking about when you're on the train? No, I'm talking about the ones around the airport.

With like the soldier and the gas mask and the sword and all the children crying underneath. They're all about like genocide and stuff like that. Yeah, it's like spooky shit out there, man. So when Denver International Airport first opened on February 20th, 1995, construction had fallen 16 months behind schedule and $2 billion over budget. And the final cost was $4.8 billion, which is a lot of money.

Yeah. The airport itself is 35,000 acres, which is almost twice as large as the next biggest U.S. airport. Sean. Joe Fossfield in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. You have anything in there about the people say there's those bunkers underneath? I'm looking right now.

The airport's dedication stone. Ooh, the Masons. It has the Mason symbol on it. Of course it does. Underneath the symbol, the New World Airport Commission. That sounds... It's credited with helping fund and build the airport. What the fuck?

Who are they that they have $4.8 billion? Some people think there's a mysterious network of underground bunkers beneath the airport. What the fuck? Who are they that they have $4.8 billion? Some people think there's a mysterious network of underground bunkers beneath the airport. Wow. It's everything about that place. It's so sketchy. A former airport construction worker claimed that the reason why the airport was so far behind schedule is because five multi-story buildings were

built underneath the airport. Also said there's a complex networks of tunnels beneath there dude what other people think oh yeah and that's super creepy murals the thing shows the new world order's takeover those murals are like you look at them they're like not fit for public no they are crazy when you see them you're like this is just here like if it's i don't know man it spooks me out been spooking me out since i was a teen and then that horse and then that fucking horse that killed the guy

who made it yeah it fell on him it's all just a lot of scary shit that horse is like yeah when you see that it's another thing where you're like this doesn't make sense here no aesthetically this giant demon horse with bright red red eyes as you're gonna go get on a plane you're like come on and a huge ding dong like big old ding dong like what is kids fly out of this area like what what it's not like and it's not beautiful in the way that like it's demonic looking like yeah and why do its eyes it the murals are also scary those murals are so i've spent time just really like looking at looking at them and being like the murals basically tell the story of like a biological warfare like breaking out on earth and then the like a new world order of peace like emerging and it's like great and it's so weird

it's such a such a weird thing to have out yeah i don't know i never see stuff like that anywhere the portland airport has a fun carpet a fun car yeah i've seen the hashtags it's a fun little movie theater yeah there's like a nazi with a gas mask holding a machine gun a sword yeah and then underneath it's like all those crying children. It's fucking crying brown children. Sure. It's, yeah, whatever's going on there is real spooky. You got something to explain to do, Sean. Yeah, sorry.

You got something to explain to do. I just felt like building, man. Sean, go ahead and explain your next pick, dude. My next pick, I want to know what love is. It's a mystery. God damn, that would have been a good one. I want to know what love is. No, a mystery. God damn. That would have been a good one. I want to know what love is. Now you can't take it.

Let's crack the fucking code. I want to know how Nostradamus predicted all the things he predicted. Oh, Nasty Nose to Escobar? Yeah, I want to know how Nas knew that he was going to change the rap game forever. Not with that album. That thing is trash. Nostradamus is not a great album. It's just eerie how close some of the predictions

were and they're not I mean they're fairly accurate so I just want to know if there was anything to it. I was just looking them up. I just want to know if if he actually did it or if he was just guessing. You know what I mean? Isn't that what some people

say? It's like a lot of theories, so some of them had to be right. Well, yeah, but they're so, I'm trying to find them right now. I didn't, I just thought of this like 20 minutes ago. It wasn't actually on my original list, but it is something that I do want to know. I can't find the one, I apologize.

I don't know much about him. Was he like a philosopher? He was like a French. Oh, there, I've had enough yeah stop he was a french like uh apothecary what does that mean though i thought that was like uh potions and solves i think that's what he did uh an astrologer he was like a french cvs q-tips condoms he was like people like the medicis the queen of france like paid medicis were the patrons yeah paid for like da vinci and stuff too right so they like ushered in the these are different medicis i think i think that well like i think it's just a big family oh yeah he fucking predicted mad shit but i think a lot of stuff the death of henry ii so

he would write these like poems wasn't he fairly like spot on with like the world wars and things like that the young lion will overcome the older one on the field of combat in a single battle he will pierce his eyes through a golden cage two wounds one. Then he dies a cruel death. Yeah, okay, but that's just the plot of Belly. So he predicted Belly, dude. He predicted Belly. In the summer of 1559, King Henry II of France, the older one lined up to joust Gabriel, the young lion who was six years his junior,

and he burst through the king's poorly secured visor through the golden cage. Damn, he killed him. That seems very specific. Yeah yeah what was his claim did he have a claim as to how he knew all this stuff no well he could like see the future is what he says and i just all this all this stuff do you believe in that i don't tell him i don't know it's again it goes back to like is their life mean, all this stuff that people just assume can't be possible. But who am I to say?

So rarely do they ever tell you a fortune. Oh, yeah. Like actual fortune. I've had my phone read a few times. It always feels like they give you like potential. Right. You're like, oh, you have potential or something. It's hard to trust someone where it's like, well, why aren't you doing great?

Yeah, why are you working right exactly you can hear spirits they're like you know what to do yeah like i'm doing an open mic after this yeah i guess i would listen to a billionaire who was like yeah i just did it off some crazy shit and you're like yeah i believe whatever you're gonna say with tarot cards i always feel like oh i'm gonna be Right. This could be my way of just saying, I wonder if people can really predict the future. Like if there's anybody out there who can see the future, man, people say that shit that like, I see it. You ever talk to me? I mean, like you hear people like in all cultures, like you hear Latino people talk about brouhaha.

Oh yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know nothing about that. Shit's wild to me. Maybe. I like to think that it can be possible. Listen, I don't practice Santeria. I ain't got no crystal balls. No.

What would you do if you had a million dollars? I'd find that Sancho. I'd find that motherfucker and I'd shoot him. All right. Dead. Who's checking? I really want to know. So Nostradamus, you want to know if he really...

If he really saw the future. You know, so some of the stuff, like they say he predicted 9-11, right? Right. And that couple is earth-shaking fire from the center of the earth will cause tremors around the new city. Two great rocks will war for a long time. Then Arathusa will redden a new river.

Yeah, it's people reading into like vague statements. That's a huge stretch. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking here like they say that he predicted the nuclear bombs, like Hiroshima and Nagasaki and things, landing on the moon. I don't know.

I just, I want to know if it's true or not. But then there's this one. I'm not going to win this draft. A bedenum-clad wizened man will make marks. This is straight off of Wikipedia. From the south. To the city within the belt to speak truth unto power. And he will bray

like an educated jackass. Why do everything bagels cost bespeckled why does why doth the bagel that containeth multitudes I almost puked

oh honey I wish I could make more bread I woulda ate it I'da ate that Zach time for your third and fourth picks alright third pick I'm gonna go Amelia Earhart. I thought you were going to go with Emilio Estevez. Where's he from?

It was his mom's maiden name, right? Estevez? No, that's his dad's name. Yeah, that's the real name. But yeah, they never found... How did she get that team to the championship? I thought they were there.

There's a bunch of, they found like, it seems like every 10 years there's some kind of new thing where they're like, well, we might have found wreckage on this island, but like, it's still very inconclusive as to what to happen. And if she, did they crash? Did she land and then she was killed? What happened?

Is that a possibility that she landed and she was killed yeah well because they were like they went off course at some point but it was like they never found they were there was like two pretty it was her and then her co-pilot which i think he had done some laps around the earth right i don't know but there were like two professionals so you would have thought like well they didn't have enough gas to just keep going into the ocean so they would have stopped maybe somewhere.

What if there's like some foreign power there who's like oh you're an American spy. Bam. Or like I don't know kept him prisoner or whatever or like left or did they like land on a marooned island and just die there? Weird.

So, yeah. There's a story that came out three days ago. Whoa. Researchers hope DNA testing may finally prove whether bones found on a remote island were Amelia Earhart's. So, there's still... We're waiting on that. We're going to wait for the DNA. The bones were found on Nikum, Nika, Nika Maroro, Nika Maroro, Nika Maroro, a remote island

in the Western Nika Romo, a remote island of the Western Pacific ocean in 1940. Okay. So if they have these bones and they're doing DNA testing, how did they figure out that it was Amelia Earhart? they're doing DNA testing, how did they figure out that it was Amelia Earhart? Well, because I think she... They would have some...

Her family's probably still alive, right? Well, that, but also, like, I'm sure she gave finger... I don't... I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Obviously, I would think, right? If somebody published an article saying, yes, we found Amelia Earhart's bones, we have DNA testing

that proves it, I'd just be like, oh, cool. Oh, maybe like her off-dent records? There'd have been something. They must have like... I just have no clue. Yeah, they must have something with her DNA. Yeah, they got to. She got loyalty. They're going to find a bunch of loyalty in there.

Do I know how DNA testing works? Not really. And we, yeah, you caught me. All right. No, I'm not trying to, I'm just posing like it's just flies. Dinosaur DNA. Dinosaurs. Dinosaur DNA.

When they say shit like that and you're like, again, I have to just trust someone like, well, they proved it. I have no fucking clue. Yeah. That is an interesting point. I don't know how they get. I sound like a real nut job on this particular episode. No, you particular episode no but that's a good question i didn't think of that like how do they what's the sample that they're testing against probably some like clothing or something family

or like yeah you know i'm sure that it's accurate but it's just one of those things where you're like i don't know i know how to write a joke i. That's what I do for the world. Whose bones are those? That's all I want to do is stand in that room. Also, you know, that was three days ago. Let's update it. I don't know if this is uncouth, but she was a babe. To say an attractive person is attractive?

No. All around the world, statues crumble for her. Would that be couth? Who knows? I think it's couth. It's couth. Oh, it's's Kuth. It's Kuth. Oh, it's real Kuth. It's Kuthy. Oh, we're going to get Kuth.

Octopus got eight Kuthys. Oh, I love it. I feel so good. I'm still happy that happened. I'm going to carry that with me. You got the whole way through the joke with nobody getting wise to your game. Really? Really? I honestly thought you got him confused with tentacles for a second.

That's happened before. David, those are tentacles. That's fair. That's fair. So yeah, Amelia Herr. Amelia Herr. What the fuck happened to her? There it is. That's the. That's fair. So yeah, Amelia Earhart. Amelia Earhart. What the fuck happened to her? There it is.

That's the fucking line. I know. That's how I'm kind of thinking of these. Oh, you have a Japanese capture theory. Fourth pick. I'm going to go Bermuda Triangle. God damn it. That's going to be my next one.

What's up with it? Is there actually anything? Yeah. Is there anything? And then what is it is it like some kind of magnetic field is it like some kind of weird current situation that's happening but it's like planes boats has there been anything recently that's happened in the bermuda tribe i was looking a little bit today yeah i don't it seems like you would hear about it now but also

maybe they just don't sail that i'm saying yeah just go around it yeah yeah fuck it well i mean i was looking at it i was looking at it for this too and i saw something where like a guy published a book where he was just like it's not the number of disappearances there it's not anymore much more than any other it's because it was like one of the highest traffic areas like right so it was just like more stuff. The chances of fucking up. It's like people going like to ancient LA and being like the one 10. Yeah. Ah,

the treacherous freeway has more car wrecks than any other. And no one knows why. The Lords of London, the lords of london which is a prominent insurer and the u.s coast guard the number that go missing in the bermuda triangle is the same as anywhere else in the world as a percent on a percentage basis well f me f me mystery solved it's water i remember that watching shows about him people thought it was like methane bubbles bubbles coming up and like ships would like, you know, from like fishes in the earth.

They couldn't say they lost their buoyancy or it would fuck up a planes like, uh, you know, radar equilibrium. Just imagine being one of those captains where you're like, I've heard all the stories. That was,

I don't give a fuck. Do I? We're going right through the triangle boys. Man, but it would suck if you were like, yeah, my great great uncle was lost in the Bermuda triangle. And then you read like,

well, it actually wasn't any dangerous than any other. I should. Yeah. Well, I guess he just sucked that. Oh, okay.

Oh, he just wrecked. He just tell my mom, her brother sucked. I'm flying a seaplane hammered on rum. Like, painfully hammered. You go in there and you tell her

how Uncle Kangol died. You do that. Uncle Kangol never died. Uncle Kangol definitely died flying a seaplane in the Bermuda Triangle. I know I lean on this joke a lot, but that sounds like a sex thing. Driving a seaplane through the

Bermuda Triangle? With your uncle Kangol? You put a penis hat on. I mean, he was pretty drunk and he didn't see Manny when he was ready for bed. A Kangol just for the tip of your penis. Zach, that's a million dollar idea.

Dangle Kangols. Kangol condoms? Kangol condoms? Whoa. Is that what we're talking about? Is that what a Dangle Kangol is? It's a little hat for your dick. For like when you're making out

and you're not ready to get down yet. Yeah. Or when you want your penis to look like Samuel L. Jackson. I just got it stuffed in this boulder hat. It's like a nice thing to do for a lady. Like it's her anniversary. Yeah.

So you're getting down. You know, you have an erection. But it's like, hey, before, let me just, let's keep kissing. But before, let you just put the little hat on. For special occasions. It's not about me, honey. Maybe you guys go out to a white jazz

club earlier that night. You know what I mean? Later on, you're in bed, and you put a little backwards kangle on your neck. You're like, I was feeling those problems. Honey, I'm right here with you now, but my penis is an Aruba. Kakamo.

Sean, time for your fourth pick. I want to know if the lost city of Atlantis was real or not. Yeah, there are lots of speculation. I like the idea. Who wrote about it? Aristotle, right? Plato, I think. That's a common misconception, David.

It was actually Plato. What a moment for Sean. David, go outside for a while. Do you want the Emmy? It's not mine anymore. Yeah, but I think you can have it. Go take a ride with that Emmy. Plato, I think. Anyway, yeah, I'll have two bags of dog food, actually.

It was Plato. I just like the idea of so what i should have read up more on this it's just fascinating so it was a city that got covered in water right and then it ended up being like a lost city is that uh no i think it sank under its own weight right it was he talked about that there was a city that had like conquered a bunch of places and that it was lost to the waves or something like that right okay yeah but just a fun idea and it goes back earlier to my merman theory that i was talking about you mean dudes down there living in atlantis how deep deeper than atlantis home of the scandalous big bad los angeles that's exhibit but yeah big bad los angeles yeah i want... I really just want all these to be true.

There's got to definitely be lost cities in the ocean, right? I would... Or just like ruins or some shit. I'm saying, okay, if you could fly or go, like, have free reign to, like, travel the whole ocean, like, just... I mean... What would you do?

Venice is going to be that probably in... After that fucking quake last night, I'll tell you what. Oh, there's a weird... Not Venice, California, but... Did you guys feel that quake last night? Oh, you were probably watching a girl earthquake. Oh, yeah, yeah, I did. I was watching a girthquake.

A girthquake. There was like a short, sharp earthquake. Yeah. It was like somebody fucking shoulder checked the house in the mall or something. Really? It felt like the house got pass blocked a little bit. It was like, bah! Like, oh!

So it was shorter than, was it me and you who were together for the last one at my house? Yeah. It was much shorter. It was like a second. Yeah. It just wobbled for a little bit, but I kept being like, God, I gotta go on top of a fucking house tomorrow. Damn. Yeah. Oh, God. It's like the worst place to be. I'm like, well, I guess

I have to jump on a tree. It's the worst place. Seriously. I remember after that last one, when we were all sitting in here, I had to go to work the next day because freaking out. Because we had an earthquake and then the next day we had a bigger one and I'm like, I have to go to fucking work on a 16th floor of a building tomorrow. Who's to say

we're not going to have a bigger one? We were here, remember? Sean couldn't move. Sean wouldn't like sit down. He was like, I'm just freaking out. Oh, that's right. You two have been in two earthquakes together, out. Oh, that's right. Two earthquakes together. Dude, that one moved for like six seconds. This fucking place was

moving. Oh, yeah. That one was vaguely. It was enough time for us to like all look at each other and be like, are we all one of us get scared first enough for us to be like, this is an earthquake, right? Right. Right. Right. And I was like, yeah, it's an earthquake. It was one of those rolling ones. Yeah, this shit was scary.

Atlantis, I want it to be real. Plato said that it lied beyond the pillars of Hercules. It lies beyond the pillars of Hercules. Which, of course, was the gateway to the Mediterranean. So he went out there in the Atlantic Ocean.

I feel like you're shining. It lies beyond the pillars of Hercules. He said. gateway to the Mediterranean. So he went out there in the Atlantic Ocean. I feel like you're shining. He lies beyond the pillars of Hercules! He said. You're shining real hard today. I like it. I really like it. Thanks, man. Yeah, lost city of Atlantis. Hey, what's up, buddy? Plato said it was out there.

Scientists think it does not exist. I don't give a fuck what science says, bro. I go off the gut. I go off Plato's gut. That's how I live my life, going off of what I think Plato's gut would have told me. What did Plato say about it? But I mean, it is like, I mean, they do think we

have more contact with like cultures who live, like with like China and like with the Mayans than there is historical record of you know and like that could be like yeah hey there's a city way out that way you know yeah like he heard about it and then wrote about it like just imagine that like the blind faith like that'll never we'll never know what that's like like then imagine the blind melon i think there's a city up there just oh that kind of thing scares me

obviously a lot of the explorers were bad people but the idea of exploring the idea of like I'm just going to sail over here that's wild think about encountering new people again horrible people that came over and did what they did but they encountered a whole new

kind of person that they'd never seen. That's what I'm saying. That was in play. You would have been like, well, I never thought these people were here. And you could be blue people. Oh, elephants are real. Sweet papayas.

Neither of us know how to talk to each other yet. So we're going to have to just not kill each other until we figure out how to talk. Yeah, we have to figure out how to communicate. That would break down a lot of the time and then they'd just kill each other. And that theory proved to not work.

New animals to eat? They probably were over here eating coyotes like idiots until they saw a buffalo. Sucking down penguin meat? Yeah. Oh, God. Behind the Tasty Freeze? Yeah, sucking down shit.

I think it's called Chili Dog. Then I went up to the Century Club. Sucking down penguin meat? Oh, God. Behind the Tasty Freeze? Yeah, sucking down shit. I think it's called Chili Dog. Then I went up to the Century Club in this extreme. Sucking down penguin meat. With my jeans on. I bet you penguins taste awful. Oh, yeah. Oily. I imagine it's an oily meat. It's an oily and unpleasant meat. David, time for your fourth pick. Ah, those Nixon tapes.

Oh, like what they took out of them? Yeah, the 18 and a half minutes or whatever. Because that guy has been known to say some wild shit. So I just wonder what it was that even they were like, whoa. Dive into that a little bit. So what exactly? I don't know what that is exactly. Well, he was the first president to record himself

just have active running tapes and he recorded every conversation in the Oval Office. And it wasn't required. Like no one asked him to do it. It was not He recorded every conversation in the Oval Office. Yeah, in the Oval Office. And it wasn't required. Like, no one asked him to do it. It was not put upon him. He just did it himself.

And there's just an 18-minute chunk that's missing. Well, that was like, yeah, so that's how they proved he knew about Watergate. And then they, like, redacted a bunch of stuff. I want to know all about redacting. Like, the government keeps so much shit yeah oh yeah like dude i saw this saying though this is crazy story i saw this dude who was a panther he got because you can get your fbi file yeah he showed it to me and it's just like mostly blacked out really oh yeah dude and you're just like he showed that to me when i was a kid. That was like a real defining moment for me, man. See, I don't, I know we've talked about this just the other day.

Cause the government knows everything. I don't know if they know everything, but they know way more, so much more than we do. So much more. So shit like that, where it's like, it's so scary. What was he talking? You know what I mean? I don't want to know most of this stuff. I do.

Do you? Well, I do, man. Cause they're fucking us man all right that's not where this podcast is different now i don't know how they're listening to us we say on a podcast yeah yeah yeah how are they getting out they know everything i did last week god well i just i just don't want them looking at my screens that makes me uncomfortable think about how much J.O. time they've logged

just your dead face I looked at my search history on my phone I'd never really gone and cleared it out because I was going to get a new phone and I'm like why do you use your phone when you're so bonkers I have no idea what your search history is you keep your phone clean

I'm trying to think about it right now what do I think Sean's looking up I have no idea what your search history would be. You keep your phone clean. I'm trying to think about it right now. What do I think Sean's looking up? I have no idea. Man-woman sex. Couples kissing. Singles kissing. Yeah, it was... I did not like it because I was going to go get a phone and Rude, my friend, he fixes computers

and he's like, like dude people have no idea what's on their computer like what people can see because he would go in and he's like most of it is just I have to sit for hours while I hit a couple buttons on their computer just deleting like their search history essentially and all the viruses they've got from porn

and he's just like you would not believe what some of these fools watch and I'm like I would believe it I think people get real wild on the internet i was talking to somebody about this last night i don't think i really use the utilize the internet well yeah dark web i i don't even know how to do it when the internet goes to the comedy store for a night dark i'm fascinated by like the dark web too that shit's's wild to me. I want to know how you can buy drugs at home.

Apparently there's a way. I think Bitcoin's involved. Yeah. But how do I don't know. Yeah, you have to have cryptocurrency I think. Tomato, tomato. I don't fucking. Bitcoin? What are you talking about? Yeah. Like I don't know how any of that works. It's also not real. You know you got to use when you go to England.

Britcoin. The Emmy returns. The sci-fi is complete. Britcoin. Oh, man. Britcoin. Britcoin. Yeah.

No, I want to know what Nixon said. It could be anything. Right. Like that government shit. I'm so curious about what, like, because they do wild shit all the time they do wild shit oh yeah like they're just out here unchecked dog unchecked power is terrifying yeah always and they are on they don't answer to anybody not to go down this uh road but like yeah like when you see like with that epstein stuff and everything that happened you're like that's for real everyone's like it's oh you're connected to

all the people that are in like all the people we supposedly like that shit is so real yeah that shit is so real and it's like actively no wonder you fucking like yeah we can pretend like it's not but like that's their reality right you know slick willie was on that jet say whatever you want you know what i mean william gates knew him man man no i like it i don't know what it is about being all powerful then you got to do crazy shit now i'm the I got to go out here and eat a kid's dick or whatever they're doing. Sorry. I don't know. I mean, Shane has covered a lot of this territory. He's really

kind of our lighthouse on this one. Yeah, I should ask Shane. I'll text him. Yeah, yeah. Get him in on it. Shane, what do you think about Epstein? He's got it. I'm sure that's on his crosshairs. I should ask Shane. I'll text him. Yeah, yeah, get him in on it. Hey, Shane, what do you think about Epstein? He's got a... I'm sure that's on his crosshairs. I think he's a rascal. I think this is the dumbest time. It's time for my

fourth pick, and then my fifth, as it is a serpentine draft. It sure is. With my fourth pick, I'm taking the Voynich Manuscript. Oh, yeah. I didn't think you were going to be able to get it fifth, but... I got acript. Oh, yeah. I didn't think you were going to be able to get it fifth. You got fourth. I got a fourth.

Oh, yeah. Sixth one. Sixth one. I understand. The Voynich Manuscript is an illustrated codex handwritten in an unknown writing system that has been carbon dated to the early 15th century. That's interesting. And may have been composed in Italy during the Italian Renaissance.

So it's this huge book in this language that no one's been able to figure out. Codebreakers, cryptographers, people from the British and American militaries, everybody's tried to crack it. It was Da Vinci's sketchbook. Cryptographers, bloodtographers

that's hilarious and the emmy is back with me man that that means bouncing damn that was a short run for me uh yeah they've never been able to uh they've never been able to fucking break it down there's nothing else like it they've never been able to they've never been able to fucking break it down there's nothing else like it they've never been able to find anything else like in the same language or the same code it's not even based in like it's not like latin based no it's not latin based or anything it's just like fucking

and it's a whole book and there's weird little like drawings all over there's little like dragons and castles and all this shit so it seems to be like it seems to be the devil's book. It seems to be like a narrative of some sort. They don't know. They think like It's dark Bible. They think like maybe it has something to do with like

pharmacology and medicine or you know perhaps even turning lead into gold. Alchemy. Damn. The dark arts. I don't know. Maybe. It's just cool to me that they have something for the 15th century and everyone's like

I don't know. Pretty common with the Antikythera mechanism. I was going to say. If you guys want to come see my band Antikythera mechanism and the Voynich manuscripts we're playing. And Magoobies playing at Magoobies

in Baltimore. Golden Geese is opening up for us. And then my last pick is going to be something I touched on on the Abandoned episode. Oh, sure, sure. So it is the uh dyatlov pass incident a dyatlov pass incident i don't know what these words are i know it's quite dyatlov

passes in like russia so no he used to play for the sonics oh yeah yeah yeah he came over when he was 28 left shrimp they were like he didn like he should have won rookie of the year but he didn't because he was 28 but he was like he's a rookie so eight like experienced hikers it was like in the 50s or something oh yeah yeah yeah they were experienced mountaineers

and they went up into this like mountain pass and they were in a tent and the next day they found them all dead six of them like were wearing no clothes out in the snow uh and like three of them had severe injuries two to their chests have been like caved in and one had their like head caved in and they had weird like their skin was yellow like that's spooky in russia and like there was never been an official cause of death there's theories one of which is hypothermia

because when you have hypothermia weirdly your body feels hot. Right. But who crushed their fucking skulls? Skull crushing is that's fucking it's a lot of pressure. So one theory about the skull crushing is Bigfoot. Sounds like Bigfoot. No but it is like after

they died from hypothermia or maybe an avalanche but they would have been under the avalanche. No, but it is like after they died from hypothermia or maybe an avalanche. But they would have been under the avalanche. Yeah. But they think like maybe a bear or an animal came and like was fucking with them and crushed them. That's another good question. Yeah. I don't know.

That's fucking crazy to me. Why was their skin yellow? You tell me. I don't. You tell me. Man. The Dyatlov Pass incident. Stay away.

Stay away. From the Dyatlov Pass. Man. Dyatlov was the name. Stay away. Stay away. From the Dyatlov Pass. Man. Dyatlov was the name of the dude from Chernobyl. Was it? Yeah. He was the guy who. I still got to watch that.

That's a cursed name it feels like. It's fucking. I got it. I'm going to. You think these things don't have anything in common? You know what I mean? I was born at night, but it wasn't last night, my friends. I was actually born in the morning and it wasn't this morning.

So that's my final pick. I want Voynich Manuscript, Dyatlov Pass. The starting front court for the Dallas Mavericks. This is your full name. David, time for your final pick. My final pick is a question that's plagued us all for years. Yeah.

I got a goofy one too. I'm thinking who let the dogs out? They eat pussies. David's gone. What'd you do with David? I'm so sorry. It's so funny to me.

I've been sitting here at home. I've been trying to decide if I was going to do it since the first one. I almost took it first. I almost took it first. I almost took it first. I want to know. That's the real Bermuda Triangle question. Oh, yeah.

Because they never answer. All they say is the party was nice. The party was bumping. Everybody was having a ball. And then all of a sudden, who let the dogs out? I don't like calling ugly people dogs. No. Is that what you think it means?

Is that not what that's all about? We found that out like two weeks ago. Somebody told us that's what it was about. Ugly people. Somebody letting like ugly people into a club. Who let the dogs out? That's how I always used it. Who told us that? I always thought it was more of like a who's on first.

Like one of them was like, Who's let the dog out? And he's like my name is who? My name is dogs My name is the dogs Get back off me Get back you flea infested mongrel Who let the dogs out? We got to watch that video right after this.

All right. Who let the dogs out? Sean, time for your final question. Sorry. That's great. Sometimes I need to be saved for myself. It's perfect. Mine's going right down the same road.

Biggest mystery to me is why people think it's okay to not like Sublime. Yeah. I could not think that's... There's not a bigger like Sublime. I could not think that's... There's not a bigger mystery to me. I think that a lot of people conflate it with 14-year-olds smoking weed. Who gives a shit? That was awesome being 14 and smoking weed.

Because there's nobody more annoying than 14-year-olds who smoke weed. I've been more annoying than that in the last week, probably. No, you fucking haven't. You were not more annoying than me on the bus. Like, it's from the earth. It's not drugs. God put it here.

Yeah, maybe don't smoke it at school. It grows naturally. You can't stop me from smoking it. I used to have a whole bit, because they're like, God put it on the earth. Let the dogs out! God, God, God. Yeah, man. Sorry, Marissa. No, it's actually all cool.

Going all right. I pulled the microphone away. Yeah, yeah. I'm nice with it. I'm sweet with the pickle juice. We know what we're doing. Yeah. Biggest mystery on the planet.

Why people think it's cool to hate on Sublime. Fucking. People do really. There are like a lot. I had a teacher one time when I was getting into Sublime and she was just like, dude, what are you in the eighth grade? What do people hate? I'm like, stop it.

John Ray hates it. Openly. I love it. I don't know. I don't understand what is so. Yeah, that is a good question. Cause the music,

I don't understand why. What's great. It's a good singer. It's fun. Great music. It's fun. Yeah. Has happy.

It's got a good vibe to it. All the same in the end. Listen to that and tell me they don't rock. Seriously. Now, now, now, now,

now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, I'll say them in the end Listen to that and tell me they don't rock Seriously Zach time for your final pick I'm going to go hiccups They don't know Really? What causes hiccups Isn't it the irritation of a nerve But they don't know why it makes you do that thing That's pretty good

That's really better than my last picture I was at Some bar in Portland with Nathaniel Friedman. Shout out to Free Darko. And I got the hiccups and some dude walked over and he was like, I can stop your hiccups right now.

It's going to hurt a little bit. And I'd been having the hiccups for like half an hour maybe more. And I was like, yeah, go ahead. And he dug his hand underneath my rib cage a little bit. In the solar plex? In the solar plex. And I was like, no!

And then like it stopped immediately. Did it really? It did hurt, but it was like, oh, oh shit. Was it a stranger that did this? Oh yeah. That was called the. Did you ever see him again? The Dyatlov Pass incident.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never saw him again, no. Then I crushed his skull. He actually used the Chominski method. He did, the Chominski method. Yeah. From Netflix. The guy, it was the Voynich manuscript walked over.

The hiccups, yeah, fuck yeah. That is tight. How often do you guys get them? I don't get them a lot. Not that often. I honestly don't get them a lot not that often i honestly don't know once a month i got them sober i was born i had hiccups for the first two weeks of my life really you are wild i know and i had jaundice too and you had a full-blown alcoholic wonky i jaundice hiccups got jaundice and hiccups and a healthy addiction to video lottery. I was born with.

That must've been so scary for your mom though. That's right. Like you come out and like, especially cause when you hit, when you feel like I've felt a baby hiccup, it's like, it's like if it just takes over their whole little body, it's so scary.

Yeah. Zach had to piece. It looked like he sneezed a bunch of blood into his hand. Well, this is as to indicate a, uh, an illness on the piece. Exactly. Get out of here. It looked like he sneezed a bunch of blood into his hand. Well, this is as to indicate an illness on the horizon. Oh, my word. All the consumption is crept upon my door.

I fail to drink. So that wraps it up. That's our final pick. Where the fuck do hiccups come from? So to wrap it up, I went first and I took

what do we really know about aliens? And then the Antikythera mechanism and then the Havana sonic attacks and then the Voynich manuscript and then the Dyatlov Pass incident. I'm going to that music festival. Yeah, right? Yeah. You're going to be stoned.

David, you went second. You took the Ark of the Covenant. Where is it? The Easter Island statues? Surely there's some mystery left there. The Denver airport. What the fuck? What the fuck? Surely there's some...

That was so funny. That was the best way to put it. Way to get your back on it. There's got to be something they don't know about it. That was like the Southern insult. That was like the bless your heart. Surely there's something they haven't figured out. Yeah.

Bless your heart. You're an idiot. haven't figured out. Yeah. Bless your heart. You're an idiot. The 18 missing minutes on the Nixon tapes and then the Baja man conundrum. Who? Who? Who indeed? Sean, you went third and you took, is there an afterlife? Sub with Bigfoot.

Nostradamus. What did he really know? Atlantis. Where is it? And then the last one. Why do people think it's okay to not like Sublime? Suck with Bigfoot. Zach, you went last and you wanted to know the real identity of the Zodiac killer. D.B. Cooper, what became of him?

Amelia Earhart, where is she? The Bermuda Triangle, what's going on there? And then the hiccups, why? I'd watch that news. All this and more at 11. We left some good ones on the board. Who's Banksy? Jimmy Hoffa.

Who's Banksy? That whole Max Headroom TV hijack thing. Oh, yeah. I didn't even know about that until today. Did he get his butt spanked by a fly swatter? Yeah, yeah. It was pretty crazy. Somebody just took it.

Look it up if you want to know about it. What did Bill Murray say to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation? Oh, they say... Oh, they know it? Yeah. Oh, what is it? I don't know. Teenagers take long clothes.

They just release, or he said what he said to her. Really? Or whatever, yeah. Well, hot damn. The Toynbee idea? What? I mean, again, I know exactly what you're talking about. The Toynbee idea.

Oh, yeah. You know the Toynbee idea? Toynbee shopping, right? Am I right? You got a hand on the Emmy for that one. You're right. I just want to touch it. Start of the universe.

The Toynbee tiles. They're these tiles that are like all over North and South America. Well, there are two dozen major cities in the US and then four South American cities. And they say Toynbee idea in movie 2001, resurrect dead on planet Jupiter. And there are these tiles that are like built into the like

asphalt in a bunch of places. Really? Yeah. You seen these before? No. Are there any. Really? Yeah. You seen these before? No. Are there any in LA? Maybe. Seems like that. Wow. No, I've never heard of that in my life. The Toynbee idea. Anyway. 37 trips around the sun. Never heard of that. Yetis, bro.

You kind of covered that. Start of the universe. I feel like that was a mystery, but I don't know if I could even comprehend it if someone could explain it to me. Because there is no... See, I start to freak out again. There is no start. If you could just download the information on my head, that'd be fun. Well, there's no start

because there always had to be something, even if it was nothing. It's still... See, I'm going to freak out. I got to go. Seriously. I have a joke about this. Which one? The one where I'm like, if the universe is always expanding, what is it expanding into?

Seriously, it could just be... Anyway. We're all just marbles in an alien sack. I'm going to have a drink. Is there a God? Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to... Like so many religious ones, but yeah, is there a God? Did Jesus resurrect?

Yourself. That's the biggest mystery, you know? Yeah, what's in here? That's the biggest mystery, you know? Yeah, what's in here? That's the biggest mystery. What's in here? I'm going to tell you. We want to hear yours as well. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter.

AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the Patreon for holding us down. We love you. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out. Shout to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout love you. Shout out. Shout out. Shout to everyone on the AFE subreddit.

Shout out to Super, producer Marissa Melnick on the ones and twos. Might have some fun stuff coming up. We might have some fun stuff coming up. We might have some fun stuff coming up. We might have some fun stuff coming up. We might. We might.

Have. We could. Some fun stuff coming up. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beach. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Saint Sue. Kia de mel. Shout out to fucking Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beach. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Saint Sue. Shout out to fucking Ragu, dude.

Mike. Shout out to the case you put an Emmy in. Yeah, shout out to James Longman for giving me the case. That's a good Emmy case. Shout out to Murda was the case that they gave me. I'm innocent. Yeah. Shout out to...

He wasn't, by the way. Shout out to Trout. Trout out to Shout. Shout it out. Shout out to Matthew Bro wasn't, by the way. Shout out to Trout. Trout out to Shout. Shout it out. Shout out to Matthew Broderick singing Twist and Shout. Shout it to Shout. Shout at my Trout.

What's that all about? Shout Trout. It's Gout. That Trout's got Gout Shouts. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. that was a hate gun podcast