All Fantasy Everything - Mythical Creatures (w/ Troy Walker)

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Or if you're Sean, creatures that could exist within the vast expanse of the universe.Guest:Troy Walker (@troywalkeresq)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. I'm doing another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. The podcast of fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we're drafting. What are we drafting? Mythical creatures. Let me cut you up. The female orgasm.

I'm going to need 10 rounds. Hell yeah. Our guest today is the stand-up comedian and comedy writer and our friend. Troy Walker. Thanks for having me, guys. I'm glad to be here. Talk mythical creatures and the female orgasm with you. Mythical creatures and the female, which is your forthcoming book.

Mythical creatures and the female orgasm. Yeah, I'm really underwater on this book. What did you say? You saw published, right? I thought of the title, then I got to write the book. It sounded like a good idea until you're halfway through and you go, I don't know anything about this. Yeah. I thought it was interesting that you decided to return the law, because this is, if nothing else.

It's a law textbook, right? It's a law textbook about the feature. What was in the group bread that you said I got to name my next album? What was it? I almost don't want to set. Oh, all right. Silk sheets and water bed. That's what it was.

We were talking about how much silk I had when I was 12. Which is a crazy age. Yeah, that's a weird. I mean, I'm going to come out of these of my friends in the standard community of Sean Jordan Navajo. We're in it. Okay, yeah. Boxers, shirts and sheets.

I had all those things silk when I was 12 and a water bed. On a water bed. Like a guy who sells cocaine on an island. Right. And I had Shaba rank. staying next to the car. And did you have Luther Vandross's whole catalog? Just listening to freak me in the whole

apartment? Your stats are so crazy that you didn't have a gun somehow. Yeah, that is weird. Maybe I did. Maybe I did. I had like one of those... A candy bowl with condoms in it. I don't know a man right now who has that many different kinds of silk, like in my life.

No. Well, we would not... I feel like the last time we would have known somebody like You might have seen that guy at the brunch club yesterday. Oh, yeah, I was in a brunch club with the baby yesterday. We didn't bring the baby, but he was there, and it was going down. This was in Rancho Cucamonga? No, this was in Riverside. Oh, Riverside, okay.

Aimi Pa was the name of the place. Aymi Pa? Yeah, go on and check out their Instagram. It's crazy. This is a baby that's going to own a lot of silk. The baby has silk. At one point, the dad was holding the baby in the air, and hey, DJ goes, shout out to that baby on the dance floor.

No, he goes, he goes, he goes, oh shit, there's a baby in here. Shout it to that baby. Oh, shit. We got a baby in the building. So we've been talking about it ever since you went. Just for the listener to be glad,

this is a, it's a brunch restaurant. It was a brunch. That is the club. That is all door guy or attendant in the bathroom. Yeah. people busing it open and breaking it down. Like,

like twerk towers going on. It was happening in there. So like the whole time are like servers coming out with trays who have to like, oh, pardon me, like navigate. There's eggs in play, yeah. Hold on. Some do you eat eggs and somebody else's like. Yeah, you did.

Thank you leg? My wife got, my wife got steak and eggs, yeah. What's a twerk tower? Brother, if you have to ask. Is that like a blooming onion? You can't afford it. It's oysters. It's a shrimp.

It's much more similar to a seafood tower than you would expect. A jiggly chimp. Jiggly shrimp just to stack. Jello. Aspect. I think it was like a workaround for young or new parents to because there were like not a lot of kids because we didn't know quite what it was but there were some kids. But then at one point like everybody's dancing and our party they have to like block the kids

from the debauchery behind. Yeah. Like so everybody's like dancing and then they look back and they're like oh we got to close ranks Making a human paywall because one of the little girls she definitely she definitely is now open to the club Yeah, you just see her like she's like she's vibing. You know what I mean? I love that these people only thought that after they had already brought the kids to the club well because it was just brunch It was just they were like they were like we're going to a brunch spot and I guess it's supposed to be kind of fun yeah so you don't think that it's like you get that you get that you get that you get that much. I was just they were like we're going to a brunch spot and I guess it's supposed to be kind of fun. Yeah. So you don't think that it's like you get that you get that you get that. I there it's the club. Then there's a, like, I had to go pee when I got there and they're like, oh, it's the bathroom is just past the DJ booth. And then I was like, okay. You're like,

uh-oh. This is different. I would think like roving band of mariachi. Maybe it would be like something you would want to bring a kid to a brunch. Like, like, fun brunch. I think that. Even fun brunch is cool, but this was, it was, it was the club in the daytime. Like, fajitas coming out with sparklers and like somebody mixed in a name. Sparklers were going on. Yeah. I showed you the videos. Sparklers were going on. Nameplates on the thing. Was your first clue Just all the infinities In the parking lot?

When we got there Everybody was coming out And they were saying crazy shit Because we got there at like I think we got there at like noon Noon 1 And everybody was coming out And as they were coming out

I saw one guy like Damn it's still daytime And I was like What the fuck? That's what we're saying It's deep. It's daytime. Proper day time.

Yeah it's like it's one o'clock Where did you get? Get here. You can't be moving like varsity blues at lunch. That's exactly. That's what I was saying where they're coming out like, oh, that's us. Do you think there are people who haven't, there must be straight through crew people who haven't gone to bed yet?

That's what I wonder. Maybe. But 1 p.m. Like 8 though. 1 p.m. is darling for a straight through crew. Yeah. That's like 7 a.m. They close it like four.

So we shut it down basically. By the time when we left, it was like a few people really holding on to the electric slide. Yeah. 4 p.m. You know how when the electric slide goes maybe two minutes on? Sleepy electric slide? Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like... I'm picturing like a bar close, but at 4 p.m.

Just a bunch of cops parked outside waiting to see who's driving. Yeah, and then we come out and there's a bunch of low riders. And I was like, this is my only experience with Riverside, California, but this place is crazy. Yeah. I bet it doesn't close close it for. I bet it... Like, it... Metamorphoses.

Yeah. Maybe the babies get the fuck out of that. I mean, the DJ was working so hard. He has to take time off. Yeah. He was going the whole time we were there. Michael Jordan Flew game. It was a lot of birthday.

Every day, though. There was a lot of birthdays he was shown now. That's so sick. And then obviously eggs. I hate to cast dispersion on parents. I don't know if you, I don't know if you should bring your kids. I don't, I guess if you have no other choice. But it was also crazy because it was like, we had kids with us, but we didn't.

Oh, right. We know that that was going on. You think, I bet that's like a lot. Baby's dad new. He held the baby up. You saw the picture. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Kids and babies, that, you can't bring a baby into that environment? That baby. I wonder. A baby, who cares? A kid? A baby who cares? I mean, it's just loud.

Does he have, like, headphones on? I mean, I've seen babies in monster truck rallies and shit with headphones on. They got the headphones on. How did you go to have a car car. Yeah, yeah. You've seen babies there by themselves. You've seen everything a monster truck now. You've seen a little baby rodeo?

That now, now we're talking. In South Dakota, they let the baby drive the monster truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, babies have to. We sit in the back seat. Everyone else is drunk. Throwing all the keys of the babies. Did you guys have to close ranks on the kids you were with to protect them? Yes.

Okay, because we get in there and you're like, oh, this is not, this is a, party. Yeah. Did you party? Yeah, I didn't drink, but I was like party a day. I was in there. I got a virgin strawberry Moscow mule. What did you have for breakfast? There you go. I got a burger like an idiot. And it was not very good. But Oana got the steak and eggs and it's pretty good. Good char on the steak. I'mipa. Yeah, I'mipa. If they hear about this, I'll come back. It sounds like I would have a good time. You would have loved it. Yeah, it doesn't that right in your alley. You would have loved it. I mean, it sounds like a blast.

What kind of music would they play? It was like a lot of Spanish songs I don't know. Which this is also the funniest thing. A week, no, me and Alana went to the basketball game like a week or so ago. And they played some Spanish song. And Alano was like, my dad loves this song. I was like, ha, ha, what a funny bit. Yeah.

And then they played it at the brunch. And that's the video I showed you with the helicopter. The helicopter. Wave valve. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awesome. It's a good time. That's a whole, like, Spanish language music is a whole world that you can really fall into.

Yeah, I like, I'm never mad when that music is on. No, me neither. Like when you're out somewhere and they hit the Spanish language, you're always like, oh, okay. Like, even with the Super Bowl, I was like, yeah, how do you not catch this vibe? Yeah, you know. It's in you. Yeah, how do you not, you can't feel that this is good? Yeah, you don't need to know what they're saying.

Like, you don't need to speak Spanish or anything. Guess what? I don't know all the words to the English music I listen to. I don't know a lot of the words. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're always making up new one. I'll find out. Like, sometimes you won't really learn what the words are until you're playing it for someone who you're like, oh, shit. I don't want you. Yeah. Someone who really does pay attention to do the words. What is this song about? You're like, I don't know. He's against state rape. It's sublime. It's the song, date rape by Sublime.

What was that for that song of the dudes 500 miles? They had the word Haver in there. I still don't know what it means. Oh, yeah. I hate her. I knew once when I haver. Also commiserating. Blink 182 had commiserating. We argued if that was a word for year, before the internet.

I'm like commiserating is not a word. That's not what they said. E40 built a whole career off of making up words. So did Riza. I mean, he rhymed. They're all making up words. It's crazy.

Did anyone think to go get a dictionary during the commiserate debate? No. Okay. Yeah. Were we going to go to a dork's house? No. No.

Now I, now I, Now I read. Now I'm a reader. I'm reading. 200 pages into once upon a time in Hollywood. It will be the longest book I've ever read. It's 400 page book.

Yeah. I'm enjoying it. Also, what is that? Two books? That'll be the second book. What your boy call? Like ever? Yeah, that's right.

I said two books this year. I hate reading. I like reading. So David said I was going to read two books this year and I'm damn near. But if I throw acid in his face, I still win the bet. I do think that you could derail him still. I mean, I have to start. You have to start.

I just left. You could grab. I might have to start. I might have to start. You can do some stuff. It was just two books this year. Two books this year. And it's only February.

That's going crazy. So like, you're way ahead. Oh, yeah. I was thinking of, you think you would continue. I was thinking a chapter a day for the year that did not happen. So now I'm trying to temper my expectations and maybe,

I don't know, double digit books for the year, maybe 10 books for the year. Something that would be nuts, you know what I mean? You're going to be in an ascot by 2027. God. Damn right. Playboy. I'm ready for that.

The only guy wearing one that doesn't know how to spell it. I bet you do. A-S-C-O-T? Yeah, you got it. Yeah. It's a mascot, but with the ass out. Yeah. What?

I was trying to think of the name of that front spot. I, I mean, I, I'm a pa. I'm, I am, like, what is this one about? Oh, yeah, you started lonesome dizzle. I started lonesome dove a week ago. I am 530 pages in, which is just over halfway. God. It's a big book.

God damn. It's great, though. Adam's doing the audiobook. How long do you think the audiobook is? For Lonesome Dove? 15 hours. 31 hours. It's like 37.

Wow. Fuck, dude. Be different if I read it, dude. You'd be able to get it way. Like the micromachines guy? When was the last audiobook you read? I listened to Will Smith's autobiography. Did he read it?

He does. Is it good? Okay. Yes? Yes. Why the hesitation? Seems like it'd be really good, honestly. Will Smith is constantly a movie star even when he's being vulnerable, so you really feel that a lot.

Yeah, yeah. My vulnerability is the best kind of vulnerability. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I feel like you're still trying to alpha me. Right where he's like, I'm going to share this with you. Yeah. Yeah, I went to a retreat, and that was the first time I read a whole book in a day.

And then I read 20 classics in a day in 20 days. And you're like, okay. Have you seen his national geos? graphic show? Not yet. Not yet. It's cute up. It's interesting. I only seen like the first episode, but even just the trailer is like exactly what you're talking about. He's interesting to me, man. I smelled him one time. What? You were close. We were close. Yeah. They all did that TV show. Yeah, he smelled

really good. I bet he smelled good. He smelled good in a way. You ever know, like, he smelled good in a way where it was like, I'm not wealthy enough to smell like. I know exactly what you're right. Thank you. That's a real level of smell. Because Corden would sometimes smell like that. I believe that. But I would ask him and like he would tell me. So after a while, I had to ask a bunch.

But it turned out to be this spray from ASOP, the deodorant spray, which is like $40. Yeah. Incredibly reasonable. And that's what it was. But then there was a second layer, which was on Cologne that I could not get my hands on. Yeah, exactly. Todd Glass is the best smelling man I've ever met my life. It's pretty amazing.

Every time I've been around him. It's like it lingers in a good way. Yeah. Are you guys? Yeah. No. I got two right now that I kind of will, when it's out, when I'm out, like, date or something. Yeah.

Michael Jordan and K1, what do you get? I haven't been a clon. He's got the silk sheets in the water bed. That's the combo. It's shaped like a basket in the water bed right here. Cologne just shaped like a basketball sitting on your dresser. Oh, we're going to a nice dinner. All my colognes are shaped like various sporting goods.

Were that one that's a torso with no arm? Oh, Bobman? Bodman. Bodman. I had polo for days in high school. That was, I mean, I would be doused. You could probably see it on me walking around in high school. Pollo's a good one, right?

Polo is dope as hell. That little blue bottle? Were you stealing it? Or were you buying? I stole a few of it. Yeah, yeah. Eighth grade, we were bathing in cool water. Yeah, dude.

We were bathing in cool water. Smoking menthol. We were just singing R&B music. In Denver Colorado. In Denver Colorado? Bro, we were bathing. Walking around near Stacey Adams. We were a sweater vest.

Sweater vest. We had the sweater vest. We had the creases in the lee pipes. Oh, man. Cool water, bathed, dog. Thought I was clean. Thought I was clean, bro. Got the squad coming down the street.

I think you were clean That all sounds pretty clean to sound Yeah I was not into Cologne in high school I think it probably really would have helped Yeah same I got I'm into it now I probably got like 10 bottles of Cologne

Really? I've had this Tom Ford clone for like a year And two years maybe And it's so good Yeah And it's the first clone I've ever got Where I'm like I would get another bottle of that I did that I stocked up

I got a second I got like a backup waiting Do you have a travel bottle like a little travel shirts. Dana got me this Advent calendar from Liberty of London, which they just started doing a minute.

They've done like the women's every year. Oh, different fragrance every day. It costs like $350. It's like a big present Advent calendar kind of thing. But like for the women's, it would be like a face cream, you know, like a soap or like a retinol, whatever,

in each of them. And for the men, there was like a few of those, but it was like a lot of little cologne samplers. So I'm like going through those in my travel bag. Okay. He's a jerky, a rusty nail. It's a good bullet.

That's tough for me because... A picture of man to use it on? I'm truly not... I don't think I'm aware of that many smells. Like, if we had to put a number on it, stuff you put under my nose, I could tell you what that is. Yeah. I don't think I got more than $40.

No, $200. I bet it's way more. You could smell 200 things. 200 things. Peanut butter. Thai laundry. There's two right there. All right.

Trizo. Okay, you guys are making me feel better. Yeah. If we're adding meats, if we're adding meat. I'm saying we're adding meats. Okay, okay, okay, okay. If it's just cologne smells, maybe not. Cologne is good.

I don't know what vetiver is. Vinegar, bleach. Cardamom. Whiskey. Chlorine. When I had COVID, I couldn't believe that I couldn't smell anything. And so I went to, I smelled coffee greens, ergrounds and whiskey and then bleach. I'm like, huffing the bleach.

The three things you always have in the ready. The three things you always have at the ready. I can't smell this and she's like, you're still huffing it. Maybe I'll taste it Let me see What'd you put in this bleach bottle Does it water in here? Laura, our bleach tastes like Jameson

We did it I don't know how we did it But we did it Guys, should I wear cologne? I haven't worn cologne in like decades Bro, you should get back to the cool water I just lean on Jump on in, the water's fine

I just lean on a variety of different Old Spice deodorants And I'm not mad at that Old Spice has been holding all of us down four years. Yeah. I'm wearing a cologne right now. I'm like afraid that like the old spice deodorant smell will mix with a

cologne smell in a bad way. You don't go, you don't go two strips on it. You got to go scentless deodorant if you're going to cologne, right? No. No. Ian taught me that you could mix. I never knew you could mix stuff. Oh yeah.

I'll mix alone sometimes. Because I would always be scared of mixing. Yeah. Because I'd be like now I'm going to smell nuts. Yeah. I do that the Aesop deodorant spray I will do with certain. Colognes that I think would compliment it. Well, I'm doing it right now.

You tell me. You tell me. You know what I like? Yeah, that's good. Let me get a hand. It's nice. It's very fresh. Can I say what I, it's fun.

You got the Cologne. The Cologne Rangers over there. What is that? That is, uh, oh, I have to look at it's a D.S. Anderger Cologne. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's all right.

I love it when a man kind of smells like leather. Sorry. I shouldn't have had that there. You should have had that there. I should know. Let me ask you this. How much can I lean on lotion? Because that's where I like the good smells to come from.

Well, I can't. The face lotion. I feel like lotion's not a. Troy's probably with me where it's like I can't leave the house without lotion. I am very lotion up. I have lotion. I have lotion. You're so serious.

I'm very lotion. I'm so lopricated. I'm consistently loathing lotion or is it just kind of. You know what? Here's a thing. I don't lean on lotion for that. I lean on lotion to be lotion. Loation is not a scent thing.

thing to me. If you're lotion scented, I feel like you're making a mistake. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, vino daily moisturizing man. What about the traditional, though? What about like a cocoa butter? Okay, so cocoa butter

but I feel like cocoa butter is a little different because cocoa butter smells like what it's made of, which is, it's not it's not, it's not scented. Also what I'm made of. It's not scented on its own. Oh, thanks. Sorry about that.

No. Okay. I'm going to put this a different place. But I have this like basal, I don't know, like natural smelling face lotion that I put on and it smells really good. I got it an Uber one time and I asked him what smelled so good and he said whatever it was and I got some. I like that. I'm going back to. You're going to pop up for the next show. You know what? You know what smells good to me? I always wish I could. Every time I've been on TV, no big brag. Makeup smells good, man.

Yeah. Hey, how many are we recorded through? When does this come out? This comes out March 19th, so the first day we're in New Orleans. I will have already done Comics Unleashed. I am so excited. I can't wait. I can't wait to hear back how it goes.

You said about the makeup. I cannot wait because it's a CBS production. So it's like legit makeup team and everything. It'll be so sick. Comics Unleash gave me the biggest trailer I've ever got for any gig in my entire life. I'm so excited. Really? Huge trailers. Really?

Huge trailers for. comics unleashed. They were asking about bits. They're like, it doesn't matter. It can be on, it could have been on something already. It doesn't matter. They're like, as long as you haven't done it on comics unleashed, we don't care. Yeah. I'm like, hell yeah. Could you make it easier? Yeah, it's, they want you to win.

I got to get booked on comics unleashed. You do. They are booking. I gotta get booked on. I'll tell you that. Carly's back. What's up, dude? He did it. That was a long. Speaking of spills, eagle eye viewers might notice that I have a different laptop than usual. That's because I spilled a club soda onto my laptop on a flight to Harvard. Oh, you fried it?

Did you fry it? I fried it. So now my computer is in parts unknown getting fixed. Our good friend Shaka Saman loaned me this absolute fucking unit of a computer. That shit is huge. It's got one of these. It's all heavy too. It's so heavy.

What's Shaka doing on there? This is like some work computer that he never gave back. Okay. Yeah. So to my great. benefit. What'd you do when you spilled your soda on it? You were on the plane.

I was remarkably calm. I was really proud of myself. I've really been working on it lately and it's, I think part of it's working out so much. Yeah. But it's been going well. It is a very, very large computer. That's like jerking off an IMAX. I feel like I could like defeat an assailant with him.

Like if someone broke out of my house and I was like, whack with the laptop. You could build a structure out of those. Definitely. This is a load-bearing laptop. How far do you think you could throw that? I love my old laptops, which were load-bearing, you know what I mean? Jack it off! I won't use my laptop anymore. I use my phone.

To jack off? You won't use your laptop? Won't you don't do it? Why is that? I got infiltrated with a virus one time. And the dude, I called him like a fool. They got in my computer. They were controlling my mouse.

I flipped out. Oh, shit. I did everything wrong that you could do wrong when you get one of those notifications. Like you got malware or whatever, and I called the number, gave him my passwords. let them in. I'm still bet you they stole something from me. Wait, wait. What was this? Wait, so what happened? You got, I got, I was, I was tugging off and I got a thing. It's like, got to call AppleCare. So I called it. And they're like, oh, yeah, we need to get in your computer right now. And I gave him my password. And then I could see him remote controlling, like,

poking around on my computer. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. What are we doing? What's going on? And he's like, you need to buy this right now, this whatever protection. I go, no, I'm not going to buy that and he starts yelling at me. So I hung up the phone. And I remember I was in Madison. I was going to go watch straight out of Compton. I drove halfway there and I turned around. I'm like, nope. And I went and I stared at my computer all day. I mean, you got to get that. What are you like? I thought I was going to see that dragon pop up or something. I don't know what was going to happen. You got to, you're just trying to get your pre-compton jerk in and everything went sideways. I'm stopping out of, go watch straight out of Compton, see what after your grade did.

Without being crass, did you finish before you notice the malware and call? No. So it ruined it? It ruined it. Oh, no. Okay. Wrecked it. That's a bad day. That's a bad day. So now you just use your phone. Now I just use my phone because I don't care. If my phone stops working, I'll get a new phone, I guess. You know what I mean? I think it brought you. Yeah, that's what I'd, I don't go to sketchy sites either. I just go to like the Y go to X videos. He goes to the boob site. I used to go to the boob site. That guy who goes to the boob site is Sean Coogerman-Mell and Jordan on Instagram. You can see them on Comics Unleashed at some point. At some point, it'll come out.

It's coming out. Yeah. You're on there with, by the, you will record it with Shane Torres. I can't wait. I'm so jealous that you guys got to do it together. I cannot wait. Also, if you're in New Orleans and not at the shows tonight for some reason, come on out. And hop on the Patreon.

Why don't you? 700 posts over there. A lot of extra content on there. Years worth. A lot of extra content. Seven years worth. Yeah. Also, if you're in New Orleans, I'm.

80% lobster at this point. I have. I've got to get my short sets. I've been, I've been, I've been, I've, I've taken it upon myself to plan. Buddy. Is that why you texting me about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like, oh, I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I guess Ian's wondering if we're

gonna do something in the daytime. I've, I've, somebody needs to grab the reins. And have you, I, I've not done anything. I've been grabbing the reins. Ian's great at grabbing the reins. I've, uh, I've got some fun stuff planned. Oh, and I, it's a pro, Appropriate.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not trying to get nasty. No, nothing nasty. All classy. You were like, what's the tone? And I was like, what did I say? Like rest and relaxation or something like that?

Yeah. Did you guys get any short sets yet? Not yet. I'm a spa bitch. I have my shorts. So I'm coming in. Okay. I'm coming in for a bear.

I've got some restaurant stuff figured out. I found a gym near our Airbnb. That's what you said. It does day rates for us to go. And I've already contacted them. So they're. Buddy, I really appreciate it. Yeah.

It's going to be so fun. This will be so fun. It's going to be great. I haven't done a thing, but I love you and I'll be there. I, what you? Guys, we're going to New Orleans. It's all good. Have you guys been before? Oh, yeah. I've only been twice.

I've both times for a sports drink. Three times now, but really having a good time. I did Adam Devine's house party there when that was a show. I was so jealous of you guys on that season. Yeah, because did you do L.A.? I didn't do any of them. Oh, you didn't do any of them. Yeah, wasn't there like a Mexico one?

There's a Hawaii, Mexico, New Orleans, and then they did, like, The Valley. What a bummer. It's cool to be on TV. They're, like, what? And where did you do North Hollywood? But they had, like, shout out to them. They had a massive house party in the valley. Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah. But, like, we got to, like, and it was when workaholics was prime. So I got to, like, party with Adam Devine in New Orleans. Yeah. With all these people who are like, oh, my God, is the fucking workaholics guy. He's a sweetheart. Yeah, man.

Yeah, I didn't do, I didn't do a housepart. We all wanted to. We all wanted to. But I did go to New Orleans for the first time this year. How about it? Had a great time. It's amazing time. It's too good, man.

It feels like a different country in a good way. Yeah, it's like crazy. Not that there's bad ones. Bad countries? Bad ways to feel in a different place? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I found a dive bar that cooks bone in rib eyes like till five in the morning that are fantastic. You just change guys.

I will. I will. It was so good. It was crazy how good it is. Like a bar food bone-in ribbons. Bro, like you're in like a tiny dive. And like literally they got like wings and then they got like steaks on a on a thing. That's crazy.

Why not, man? Like a 20-ounce bone-in ribby perfectly cooked until at three in the morning. On a paper plate. I'd eat it like an animal. I'd find a loose part of the bone and I would just chew the whole thing. Sean, I ate two. Adam boy. I ate two.

I forget me. You really, over the years, we've gone out a lot. I forget, you get, you really eat a lot of food. Yeah, it's a problem. It's like a little bit. Me and you get have gotten real nasty in a few Italian restaurants. And we had Louis the 13th together. We went to Fogo de Chow.

There you go. We went to Fogo de Chow. ate all you can eat meat and then had Louie. That's that crazy whiskey, isn't it? It was like a Wednesday. I don't even like alcohol that much I like like

embarrassing Yeah But I like embarrassing Like I like strawberry daqueries And peanut colatas I like that They taste great They taste amazing

Yeah But yeah we just We did straight up Louis the 13 We also Oh remit It's cognac We also went out one night

We went to Shanahan's And ate so much steak They let us hold the Lombardies Yeah Yeah You held one? Yeah, they had replicas I cut the pictures

I know this has been overused But that is an action Bronson lyric Full real I went to Shannan's and I went to Shannahan's and ate so much steak They let me hold the Lombardy grovee Yeah that's right Me and me and Borey live like

Action Bronson We're back in Colorado Yeah If you ate so much steak at the Michael Jordan Steakhouse They let you punch Steve Kerr. Steve, get out of here. We got a big spender.

I feel like being, like, Denver's got a great meat scene, though. I mean. Hell yeah. Well, it took a hit after we moved. But I mean, it does. Like, Sean's from, like, the Dakota's, like, it's that part of the country is like, we're centric. Yeah.

A lot of meats. Yeah. They're like, oh. A lot of jerkeys. Yeah. A lot of steakhouses. Yeah. They're really trying to jam bison down your throat

I'm from Atlanta dancing salmon I don't mind it You guys got good in smoked salmon and stuff That's also that's beautiful We should probably draft right Yeah Sean Jordan so we'll be into our own I'm hungry of shit too

Yeah yeah we should Yeah sorry ice man David Bore is here Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram I also have a don't tell in a comics Unleash coming out at some point All right All right

Different days we recorded I wish we could have. I wanted us to all do it together. Yeah. I feel like we could if we wanted to, right? That's what I thought, but it seemed like harder to set up than you would think. Yeah, I think they're a little more strict about it than I thought. Who does what?

I don't know why. But that's also because I'm not strict. So I'm like, this is a party, right? Yeah. They're like, oh, no, we film six a day. This is a television show. Damn, we're right. I'm like, we can do whatever we want, right?

I think it must be the pairings, because we're all like people they would have on comics. Yeah, I think they have a method to how they pair. I can't quite say what it is. Let me get CBS on the horn. They'll carry a little water over there. Let me get them on the blower. You got a direct line to television. Get them on the blower. Let me get them on the blower, dude.

Although they don't shoot a television city. That's right. Well, television city is now a waymo parking lot for the most part. Man, sad. What are they, Radford? You got Radford? I don't know. I haven't done comics on. I'm still on the leash, man. Let you know in two weeks.

Whee! Man. He's on the porch over here. I'll be out there howling at the moon with Byron. I have neither inquired nor been asked. Yeah. Same. As it were.

But I'm doing it in a second. Would you go do comics on the leash? Are you kidding? The fish tank? I love to be unleashed. Inquire, then. Yeah, if you inquire, you'll get it. I don't even know where to begin.

I'm loving being on the leash right now. Hey, man, when did you get that watch? Dana got me this watch. That sounds like what someone says before they're going to steal it, by the way. I like watches. That's a gun on the table. I like watches like that. It's an omega.

Can you look good? Can I see it? That probably looked pretty good on my wrist, I think. Can I see it? Yeah. And then it's followed by you know where you're at? A couple dudes behind you like, hey, David wants to see that watch, Playboy. Once they break out Playboy, you just hand it over.

Hey, my partner, David wants to see that watch. watch, nephew. I'm in sunset junction. I'm between three wine bars right there. You can get a better watch than this. It's an Omega Speedmaster. It looks cool. That's always been a dream watch for me.

She got it for me for, I think, either Hanukkah or my birthday. It was one or t'other. We've gotten each other nice watches pre-having-a-kid days. Although I might have gotten her. I got her the Cardi-Tank. Ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man.

I've dreamed of an Omega... Omega Speedmaster. You've been a television writer for some years now. I know. You can get yourself an Omega Speedmaster for a lot. I know, but I'm buying Louis the 13th. Yeah, that's right. That's a good point.

It was way too much money. Maybe if we put some meat on one, you'll buy it. Wrap it up in a nice little steak. Yeah, we douse it in A1. That's a James Bond watch, dude. This is a, yeah, and you can get them, this is like a vintage one. So you can get them.

You have to wind up. it, which I actually really like. Yeah. I had a fake one that I got on Canal Street in high school. A fake Omega? Yeah. I love a fake-ass watch. It was really good, actually.

It was full like a spring open. No, man, it was good. It worked. I had it sized at a jewelry place where they sold the real ones. Wow. Did they call you out on it? No. I was like, oh, can I see the real one?

And they were like, don't you already have one? And I was like, oh, no, this is fake. Do you guys work here? That's crazy. Yeah. It was really crazy. I think they're doing a lot with fake technology. I think you're right.

When I had those fake Rolexes going for a while, people really believed them. They did tick. They did tick. My shit ticked. It kind of comes down to, oh, that's tick it. Like, does the rest of you seem like a fake Rolex person? Right, right, right, right. I mean, to be fair, I was a high school kid.

Yeah. But you were very, they should have never. Yeah, you smelled like cool water. Dowsing cool water creases in your jeans. That's all Rolex. They said it checks out. That's a speed master. Do you think having a

like a fake Omega in some ways led you on a path to law school? No. No. I think I think that's answered. Very much the opposite. Having a real nice watch though, having people think you're a real nice watch guy where you're like, this guy's got what it takes. Here's the thing though.

I only knew that it was James Bond's watch. Okay. Yeah. I was just like, I want that because it's James Bond's watch. I didn't know when... You were like this will grant me entree to high society. I had no conception of, I asked for it for Christmas and my mom was like, no. Yeah.

Reasonable? Yeah. I had no idea. I just thought it was cool because it was James Bond's watch. You should, I'm going to tell you, you have a, well, Troy Walker is here. I am. Writer for the James Kimmel program. Guilty as charged.

Maybe you've heard of it. And author and performer of a forthcoming new standoff special, why don't you tell the people about it? Well, it's a comedy. album called Esquire. It is my first comedy album. So it represents all the stuff that I don't hate doing. Yeah. Yep. You know, you know how that goes. The stuff that doesn't make you sad. Over the years. Yeah. From over the years. And I'm very proud of it. I recorded it at the Comedy Works in Denver, the downtown club, which I think is arguably the best club in the country. I'm sure you guys might agree. Part of the conversation for sure. Absolutely. But yeah. But yeah.

It was great, man, and I'm very proud of it. And people, please, please buy or listen to it. Troy is incredibly funny. You will not be really funny. And the fact that it's been like, this is the first special is rare and lovely. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm lazy.

Yeah. I don't, I don't know. No, you're not. You're not lazy at all. I mean, I do like I know it well. Like you're writing, it's really taxing, writing for another person, spending all your creative energy. It's wonderful.

Yeah. It's a great opportunity. Best job I've ever had. Yeah. But it does take a lot. It takes a lot of you, creatively. You don't write for yourself as much. It's hard to click back into your own voice.

Yeah. Yeah. You think about things sort of differently. It's like, but, you know. Yeah. It'd probably be easy for me to do, but I've never done it.

It'd be super easy for you. Yeah. You're bad at both of them. I choose not to. Yeah. Just be what I want to suck at real quick. Don't waste a lot of energy on any of that. You're incredibly funny.

My brother. I appreciate it, brother. Yeah. But yeah, like, the album is just like jokes from like all the, all my favorites. stuff from a while. I can't wait. When does it come out? It came out Friday. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. On all the it's out. It's out. By the time you're listening to this. Many people will have listened to it. And you don't want to be left out. You don't want to be left out. You don't want to be left out. Get in on the conversation. Get in there. Warm. You know what's good is 9 of the 7 kingdoms

As far as like pop culture It is so good I didn't watch the new one last night I didn't I can't watch it until I get home But I'm caught up except for that It is dope Y'all haven't seen it check it out Yeah it's almost as good

As Squire Troy Walker's fourth coming Having come High praise Fourth came Fourth came out I Can I don't know if you even want to Or can talk about this

What was it What was the day like on Kimmel. Oh, I kind of think I can't. You can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta think I can't. I was working on the Tonight Show at the time.

Oh, yeah. I'll be it remotely. But in like a lot of the meetings and stuff. And it was crazy over there. Yeah. It was like everyone was like quite shaken up like on other, like on other late night shows. People were like, oh shit. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you know, I think I think when the Colbert thing, when that announcement happened we were all like oh whoa but yeah I can't I think I probably shouldn't don't talk about too much detail too much yeah yeah you might accidentally if you try to talk

about it at all you might accidentally say something you shouldn't I ain't trying to you know best job I ever had yeah keep that your name is Ian Carmel my name is Ian Carmel so I left a bag at home that I now have to run out and grab from my wife my name is Ian Carmel

Ian Carmela cross platforms. You can read my book, T-shirt, Swim Club. You can listen to my podcast, All Fantasy, Everything. Come see us in New Orleans. If you're in New Orleans, come say hello. Oh, shoot. Come say hello if you see us out there. Yeah, we're going to have iodine poisoning.

Yeah. It'll be so many shrimp. I won't. It'll be a different poisoning, but it'll happen. I'm going to fill you with shrimp. I'll try some. Whoa. That was odd.

sexual. I'm gonna stuff you up. I'm gonna have shrimp dripping. I am gonna get you, I'm gonna get oysters Rockefeller in you though. I'll try one. I don't try away from this stuff. You've seen me try it. I do know. I do know. You're very brave. Yeah.

What makes the oysters Rockefeller? They're baked. That's it? They know Dame Dash. They actually knew where new white Air Force ones every single day. Every day. Yeah, they're just baked with like, what is it? Like, I think breadcrums and a little bit of Parmesan.

cheese on top. See, I like breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese. I know it. Don't like the oysters. I, but if there's enough breadcrumbs and enough parmesan cheese, I could probably get behind one. I've been cracking people. I got to get Zach's first snail the other day. Tiscani? Yeah. They're good. They just taste like butter. That's exactly it. Yeah, they're like little mushroom, little buttery mushrooms. Yeah. Butter. Yeah. They just taste like butter. I like butter. Butter. Butter. I don't think I have anything else to tell people about. No. Listen to Troy Walker's album for God's Please do

Is it visual and audio or just audio It's audio And then I mean There's clips Then I'm posting clips Yeah So maybe follow me on At Troy Walker ESQ for

Clips There it is And that's not even stolen valor You're a real ESQ I am ESQ It's not like when Sean sends me a package Yeah You can just put it on anyone's

You can put it on anything I know I didn't even know it was like a real, I thought it was just a thing like Daffy Duck put on his business card. And then it turned out when I went to law school, I was like, oh, that's like a real thing. Yeah.

So you're really esquired. I'm actually esquired. As far as the state of Colorado is concerned. You're an esquired taste. Yes. Yeah. There he is. Oh.

TV writer. Every now and then. He really landed it. Oh. Listen, we're going to fantasy drafts mythical creatures, my friends. We're going to friggin do it. Let's do it. But first, we have to determine the order of the draft

with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, play between the three of you. And we throw on shoot. Okay. We go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Hmm. Mm.

We have to go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Mm. We have to go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Sean wins a rock against two scissors. Kaboom goes the dynamite. Sean is the winner doesn't come upon you

to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, we'll remind you it is a serpentine draft. What is it? that? It's a great question. It's like shingling a roof. I bet. You start at the bottom, though. You don't do the, you start at the bottom. Is that right? I, has to be. Because then they layer over so the rain doesn't get into the crib. You're an observant and intelligent man. Do what I can't I'm out there drinking white claws. When they did our roof, I almost offered the dude a white claw. Or I did. I can't remember. Because I'm out there, I go, do people ever fall down? He's like, yeah, bro.

I was like, all right, I'll go back inside. That seat, you don't want to, yeah, like, plant that seed in the guy's head. I can't remember. You're probably not trying to think about it. Yeah, we got a low roof. Like, honestly, if you fell off of our roof, you probably wouldn't get too hurt. It depends on the angle of the angle. Probably.

You fall on your arm, your arm, but your roof is not too high, if I'm thinking about it. In the back, I can, I can, I can, John ceilings are four feet high just for the listeners. Yeah, we got an army crumbie. That's how I stay sharp. It's like hell weak every day. He's like Gandalf and the Gamgee house. You make compromises to live in hell. Yeah, dude.

Let's go. I'll go first. Sean David, Troy, Ian. Hot corner. Sean David. Troy Ian. That's the order. Shout a super special shout out to Isaac who to deal with a variety of frustration.

Yeah, my man. Got it. Thank you. Thank you. The early shoutout to Isaac in this episode for all of your travails and your tribulations this morning. I like that. Trails.

The order is Sean David Troy. Ian, we're going to fantasy draft mythical creatures, and we're going to do it right after this short break. What is cracking, everybody? This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Viori. Now, I've done talk to you about Viori before. Oh, jokes.

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well-being matters, find support, and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash Hall Fantasy. That's BetterH-E-L-P dot com slash Hall Fantasy. And we're back. David is chomping. Sean is stomping into his first pick. I just keep chomps on me at all time. Thank you.

Choms are good, man. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll get you there. They're good. It's a sizable amount, you know? It'll get you there. It'll handle something.

Well, it's not like a little bite of something. No, it'll get you there. Yeah, it'll, it'll, it'll, it's kind of more than a chomp. That's, that's like a, that's a hump almost. A gromp. A gromp. I called a gromp. A gromp.

A gromp, bro. I'm going, is it my, can I go? Yeah. Unicorn. Yeah, sure. Solid choice. Yeah. Solid choice.

It's first round, it's first round talent for sure. Mom's favorite animal. I don't, my whole thing, I don't know why unicorns couldn't have been real at some point. Narwhals are real. Well, anything could have been real at some point. What are you doing? I'm just saying. Yes, I'm with you

You're right Anything could have been You're right Do you think that unicorns were real? No I think we would have had a skeletal record I feel like there were maybe There were maybe like horses

That had like birth defects That's right You know like a So a unicorn I heard when you're doing this But would be a defect But would be a but like a unicorn It's like oh it's like got a horn

Is like part of it's Are unicorns horns magical I think they can be Is that part of the deal? I think there's a lot of different interpretations of the unicorn Because a narwhal's is like a finger From what I've heard

Tooth, isn't it? Isn't it a tooth Oh, you're right? That grows crazy? But it's since it's a They can feel, right? His nerves? I don't know. I don't know that much about the narwhal Here's my question about a unicorn

Does it have to be all white? Is it only the horn that makes it a unicorn Or is it all white and a horn? I think it's the horn. I think it's just the horn. It's just the horn Just the horn that makes it And the rainbows

that come out of their butthole. I do love the, like, this is the blackest question. Are there black unicorn? That's not what I ask. Can unicorns be black? That is not what I ask. You was sliding in it.

You slide it in there. I just wanted to specify. I just wanted to specify. James Baldwin just has no idea. Unicorns have to be white. I want to know how I feel about unicorns based on whether or not they have to be white. I was just curious

and it was like an albinism thing. I'm not criticizing the question. I also wanted to know the answer to that question. I think the unicorn would be dope in any color. I really don't see why your own ally. Actually think if a unicorn be... This is not in a militant way, but I actually think a unicorn would be better black.

It would look dope. You know? We still get the shing... Yeah, yeah. Hey, that's a great point. For the record, Troy drives a Honda. And it's black. You want it to be black.

You want that car to be black for sure. It's got a little more class. A little cleaner, little sleeker. The white car shows dirt immediately. Yeah. Certain cars are just better black. Like if you called a like a luxury suburban to take you to a rewards event and it showed up white. That would be wild.

That would suck. White suburban is like a football coach. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is happening right now? A white escalane. Yeah.

Could you imagine? Imagine how embarrassed you would be if you showed. showed up in the Golden Globes in a white suburb. That's outside of where the Emmys are. Yeah. All the other suburbans. Like, what did your dad just drop you off?

Some broke guy won the lottery. Yeah, you were saying. You have to sit in the back tonight. I didn't, I didn't order this. Yeah, we could have a black unicorn for days. What's your, what are some of your favorite portrayals of unicorns from popular culture?

First one is legend. That was the first unicorn that I remember. I don't know. Unicorns are just dope. The, the, the, the, uh, I mean, there's the last unicorn is a tooth. It's a tooth. Yeah. Does it sense?

It can, like, move. Well, anyway, there's the last unicorn, which is that, can't move. You should ask your wife. I should. Well, she is a zoologist for real animals. That's what. That's what. Oh, wait, a narwhal is real.

Isaac, cut that. Cut that. I knew that. I know that. I'm reading books. I know, I know, I know narwhals are real. How do you think she'd take it if you were like, hey, uh, do you think unicorns were ever actually real?

Like, as since she's like a professional. I think there's people that currently live at the bottom of the ocean. Get her on the horn right now. I've asked her this so many times. Like, why couldn't they have been real? And then she gets mad. She gets, I,

there's so many things that I do like that where I'm like, why do we have to do QuickBooks? Well, that's, I don't know, that's, draw the line. Just when I don't see,

when it's not, I think unicorns could have been real. I don't see any reason why they couldn't have been. I bet you there's that. No, I didn't mean to piss you off so bad. I got an annoying email that was not about you. Was it that email I said you from last night being like unicorns are real, bro?

Isaac. Hey, Isaac, I can't go to sleep. You're my friend. We've been through so much together. I need you to have my back on this unicorn thing tomorrow. I'm going to talk about this tomorrow. I'm going to be vulnerable. Unicorns are real is what I...

I mean, I disagree. Like, I don't think unicorns could have been real. But that's all about. Why not? Yeah. What you're saying is, could they have been real? Could they have been real? I don't want to start saying other creatures that are here,

but like anything could have been real. That's fine. Well, I draw the line at certain creatures that might come up. So let's get into it. We still have 19 more picks and I was ex furious. A unicorn is as plausible as a giraffe. Yes, it is. Saund's magic.

Right. I'm not saying magical. Platypus. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. I'm not saying magical unicorns existed. I'm not saying they didn't. What I'm saying is that a unicorns is that a unicorns is.

without magic, just a horn, could have existed. I feel like that's, yeah. Yeah. I feel dumb saying it, but I agree. Right. In the vastness of the universe. And that's his super power. I'm not even sold.

The magic doesn't exist in the vastness of the universe. I'm serious. But magic is defined as what, you know? Your wife is here. My wife is here? I think unicorns are real and could have been real at some point. Yeah, I don't tell me why I'm wrong. I act.

Non-magical unicorns. So just horses. with a horn. I mean, I actually agree that developmentally, that there's no reason they could not be real. That's what I'm saying. But that's different than you actually think they, I think they could be real is something. They were real is something else. I also just said in the vastness of the universe that I believe there could be real magic that exists. You mean like on other planets or our planet? Another galaxies,

you know, somewhere out there. This is what we talk about on the comedy podcast. This might be its own spin-off podcast. Here's what I want to say about unicorns. I think evolution and animal evolution is random and strange, and there are a number of creatures that are far stranger and weirder than unicorns. Like giraffes are weirder. He just said that. Narwhals have horns.

That's what I'm saying. It is absolutely possible. Like moose have antlers. Like it's possible that horses could have had horns. And we just haven't found the skull yet. That one fish that has. That's the difference. That's the difference.

Okay. I have to go away. I love you. Not you. I don't know you. I love you. I'm trying. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, unicorn. The unicorn. All right. In the vastness of the universe. Well, anything. Hey, right. It could be a magical unicorn out there. It could be a planet full of them.

David, your first book? Leprecon. Mm-hmm. So this is what I was wondering, because that's not your textbook mythical creature, but it is a mythical creature. Is it not? I think it is. I think it is. I think it is absolutely.

It's not a man. It's not like a Greek, it's not like a Greek mythical creature that you think about when you think of mythical creed. But I'm in. But I feel like a mythical creature is like sort of any fantasy creature. I feel like leprechauns count. And also, I think a lepracons can play. They're also Irish mythology. Yeah.

I also love a mythical creature where you're like, oh, this is a secret society. Okay. Are they a secret society? That's how I always, that's how I always viewed them. I don't know. I always assumed there was like a lot of them in kind of Congress. I've never pictured. Kind of like a fragil rock kind of thing.

Yeah. I never thought about them as, I never thought about them as singular creatures. Less than a frog or rock and more of a blarney stone. Yeah. How big? Good job. How big do you think a leprechaun is?

So what, two feet? 5.11? How tall is Max? I don't know. I think she's half of 511. two feet maybe. I think about leprechaun from leprechaun in the hood. I think that's about the size.

Yeah, that's a big lepericon. Lep in the hood come to do no God. Remember when he wraps at the end? That's crazy. I haven't seen it. Yeah, I feel like lepracons are small, but it's not necessarily the height that makes them a lepricon.

It's all of the other. Yeah, it's all the other acutrema. I also think that they're bow-legged. Yeah, that's probably. I think that's right. I feel like those little buckled shoes do that to you. Yeah. Also, please do your bow-legged.

and brush it again, that was great. I can't walk, being it. Bo leg. Big bone. Is it bowl legged or bow legged? Oh, I thought it was shaped like a bow. Oh, I always thought it was a little like there's a bowl between your legs.

I never knew. I think it's bow like your legs, your legs bow like a bow and arrow. It kind of works both ways, but I think it is bow-legged. Yeah, I always said bowl too, my whole legged. I always said bow-legged. But they also have gold Yes I think that's like a key part of it

So there must be like a society Because why otherwise they're all wearing Those little green outfits so there must be some guy making that I just always felt like it seemed like a Yeah like a system Yeah I think I always I always thought of them in singular In part because of the pot of gold

Because the pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow Right and like if all the leper there's only so many rainbows. So then if you're all together. Yeah. So like if there's a society, it's like, you know, you go. Well, they each got a rainbow though. They don't really seem like team players. But I guess what I mean is how would you like go like the Green Lantern Corps? Yeah. Okay. You know what I mean where there's just like there's African one? We only see the Irish ones because maybe they're a little bit sloppy getting seen.

Yeah, they're all hammered. All the other leprechaun is wild. That would be that would be a trip. In the right context, I would fight you for saying that. Well, I'm not saying it can't be. I'm saying it's different. I'm saying it's like I hadn't even thought of the African leprechaun. I thought about, it just seems like there's rainbows everywhere. The lepercon is said to be a solitary creature. Oh, no.

Whose principal occupation is making and cobbling shoes and who enjoys practical jokes. That's what they want you to think. Yeah. They're getting money. So it's just Tinker Hatfield? It's like a lepercon making shoes. That's what you have the most. That's what you take.

Gumpbridgewick? Not my leopardons. But that's how they make the gold. Yeah. It's their nest egg. Oh. Oh, wait. No, they find.

You know how much how expensive handmade shoes are? Very. This guy's bought a couple of years. Yeah. Very expensive. That's a pot of gold for sure. Yeah.

Daniel Day Lewis is a lot of time. So they're selling, but they find the pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. They don't need to make money. No, but they're, that's their gold. I thought they were protecting the pots is how I was. I also feel like we don't know much. much about them. As much as we all know what they are,

like, I don't know. Are you supposed to trick them out of the gold? Wait, I always thought the gold appeared. You're saying that this gold is gold that they've earned through their life and they're keeping safe. It's their gold. It's one man's theory. It's also, yeah, yeah.

They just don't trust banks. I mean, can't argue with that. James Brown was a lepricom. Keep that gold under the mattress where it belongs. They don't trust banks. They make shoes and they don't. I would love to go back in time and then maybe there's a ton of leprechauns we just didn't know. Yeah.

We just thought they were talented short guys. Spud, where that was a leprechaun. Yeah, lepracons also don't believe in getting vaccinated. Martin's, of course, I ain't going to get the poke. All right, lepracons, yeah. Perfect. Troy, your first pick. Dragons.

Yeah. Got to go dragons. That's a high value pick because you're, you know. You get, there's Chinese dragons. Yeah. I was going to say, regionally is that's the fun thing about dragons. Yeah. Yeah.

From region to region. There's a lot of variety. Yeah. You can ride them, which is also good. Though it would, you know, be tough in L.A. to park a dragon, I suppose. I don't know where you put it. You just have a ballet. You have them hover.

Yeah. I guess, yeah, on the top of your apartment building or something. Yeah, just kind of float. But, yeah, they can. I like that you live in an apartment in your dragon world still. The dragon can't get me out. It's still 2026. I'm very realistic as a comedian.

What's your preferred dragon? Is it like a smog? Or are we talking like Chinese dragons? When you think a dragon? I think of either Game of Thrones dragons or Charzart. Oh, Charzart's a dragon. He's kind of a dragon. He's a Pokemon.

He's a dragon. He's a dragon, Pokemon. I want a small, I don't want a Game of Thrones as big dragon. Charmander and Charmielion are not dragon. though. Yeah, it's just the fully evolved one. Chimillionaire is a dragon. Dragon is not a dragon.

Dragon is not a dragon. Yeah. But I think I think of like that kind of the Game of Thrones dragon first and then like Skyrim dragons. You know, all the nerdiest dragons that I could think of is what I think of. Do you like the Chinese ones? I like the Chinese ones because they're so long. They feel like those are the easier ones to ride.

Yeah. And they're like, yeah, they're really, really long, but they're also really thin. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Is that a way thing? Like they're kind of doing, no. But I think they're, I think they're kind of doing their own.

I feel like the Chinese one seems like they're always, they're kind of doing their own thing. Whereas like the Game of Thrones ones are like, you know, it's like, this is like you're, it's like a horse. Right. Yeah. It's like a horse with scales. And I kind of like the idea of that. Right. But do you want like a huge one?

Or we, how big, how big of a dragon you talking? I mean, I hate to mention the Honda Accord again, but something like a Honda accord. See, I want a little smaller dragon. I don't want one the size of like a blue whale. But you're. gonna ride a little dragon? They're really strong. I mean, it's not cross country or anything, but you know, yeah.

To the store. Yeah, car size. I'm taking the game. I need the game of throne size dragon. I'll meet you in the middle. Escalade size. Does it do other game that has fire and everything? Because like, I'd have a bigger house if I had a dragon because I would just take stuff

I want it. Yeah. Right? Because you have a dragon. You don't have the military to step in. They can still be dragons. You can convert a dragon to cash so fast. So fast.

I know. You're printing money if you have a dragon. Any bank will take a dragon. Nobody's going to have a dragon and be poor. Yeah. Even in lateral? That's true. I mean, you could say,

even just selling rides, you could like make a lot. I feel like I could be on the board of a big time company just based on my dragon ownership. Well, this could clearly know something we don't. He's not going to call it a big time company.

I'm going to call it a big time company. I didn't want to say Fortune 500. You're going to buy Warner Brothers. I think I'd be on the board. I think I'd be on the board of Skydance. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. Receiving a salary.

Honestly, if you get over there, please help me out. Definitely. Yeah, yeah. I'll bring all of us with us. Yeah. That'll be tight. That'll be a good one. You could sell dragon toenails.

I bet you could sell stuff from a dragon. Dragon scales for sure. You don't want to do eggs. You don't want to saturate the market. I think you can sell the poop. Probably. That's probably true. Real dragon shit?

Yeah. Isaac, you're buying dragon poop. Oh, yeah. I'm a collector. Yeah. People buy fake alien piss on the internet. You can't sell a real dragon tur. I know, but then you got a

Collette, you know what I mean? In the fastest of the universe? Yeah, that could be real alien piss. Who cares? That's, yeah. You hire a local kid. Hey, David, that could be real alien piss. We don't know that.

I had an Uber driver tell me the other day there's aliens on the space station, and that's why people, they lie about getting stuck up there. Because the aliens aren't finished with their work. I swear to God, he was telling me this. It says like 3 p.m. Where were you going? Where are you coming from? I'd go to lunch.

I was going to lunch with heaven. Huh? No, no, but what is it? IP pa? I'mipa. I'mipa. Some of those Uber conversations are just fucking wild. Well, he starts going down this political road and we're on the freeway and you're like,

what am I going to do? Am I going to get into it and then say pull over on the freeway, let me out? So I put my headphones in and I just kept, he'd just get louder and I'm like, mm-hmm, and look out the window and then he'd just be yelling basically. Really? Mm-hmm. He told me about his divorces. How his wife cheated on him so much?

With the ass? Yeah. Yeah, multiple. Oh, fuck. Cheated on. Thought there were aliens on the space station the whole nine.

Is that why she cheated on him? Maybe. She got with an alien up there. Oh. She's why it's an astronaut that goes deep. Dragons is a great pick. It's time for my first and second

fix back to back. Sorry about my throat clearing, everybody. I still have pneumonia. You're forgiven. I appreciate it. Earlier you said not human firewall,

human paywall. Human paywall. Yeah, because of the humans. You could just cough for the rest of the episode after that. That was hilarious. I'm taking Mermaid. Oh, that's a good one.

Yeah. I think it's not a personal favorite of mine, although I do like it. It's not one of like my top five. But it's such a high value in popular culture, mythical creature. I also like that people think that they're based on manatee. Yeah.

I think that's pretty funny. Because you're drunk at sea. Yeah. And you're like, ah, I could. I could. Look, a woman. There's a beautiful woman in the water It's been so long since they'd seen a woman

They're like, hi, it's been It's nigh on three months since my eyes have cast upon a fair maiden Oh, what be that over the starboard bow? A bathing beauty And it's just a man to be like, yeah, it's just closing time in the mid-Atlantic Yeah Also known as a sea cow

And they're just like, yeah, they're just so gone on rum And not having had vitamin C that they're just like you look at that beautiful woman. There's a woman swimming in the ocean. So do you, which, which mermaid, would you take the, that version of the, where it's like actually like more of like a manatee? Or would you take like aerial, like which version? Given my druthers, as a child of the 90s, I would obviously take aerial.

Yeah. So beautiful, beautiful mermaid. Beautiful, you know, if I had, if I had to fall in love with a mermaid or perhaps a splash mermaid. But as far as like, if I had. had to pick one that I think is the best, it's the manatee mermaid. I like that the most. That's wonderful.

It's very funny. It's funny that they can trace this myth so directly than something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drunk dudes on the water. Yeah. Thought it was girls. Thought there were girls swimming around.

I also kind of think maybe. What happened was, I think a guy fucked a manatee. It was crawling back into the ship. What did you do? Dude, you didn't even see. I think the other sailors were like, hey man did you just fuck that manatee

and he was like it's a lady it's a fish lady she's half lady his friends are like that's a manatee we know what that is man now the part I had sex with was part of the fish yeah clearly but the upper belly button up

he was trying to cover his tracks because he got caught sticking it in a manate that's real I think that's where the mermaid comes from that'd be a heavy rest of the trip yeah it's just like a really drum I don't know how drunk he was. I think this dude was like

thought pretty quick. Yeah. I think in an active desperation, this dude was stoop on a manatee, got caught and it was like, I'm a mythical creature. Giving him fake alcohol. Yeah. Like, none of that was real, you know.

And then the rest of the trip back, and then like when they got back to London, he was like explaining to other people. He's like, so they got fish ladies over there, you know? Yeah. Everyone I was out with, they're going to say that I, that I fucked this manateeity. I did not.

Yeah. Fishwoman. I think with his ship docked, he ran off the ship before anyway. He's cutting out all their tongues. Just got to the pub and was like, they got fish ladies and you can fuck him. All right, I got to go.

Then he ran to the next hammer and it was like telling everybody. You gotta get ahead of it. Most attractive woman you've ever seen. She's hot. She's so hot. I gotta get out of here. And then by the time, like the other guys had unloaded and got off the ship

and they were like, hey, Clarence fucked a manatee. They're like, that's not the way he tells them. Clarence is around town spreading other. Yeah. He said you'd try to slander out. Yeah, and it was like... He said you were jealous because she picked him. And it was like the 1400s, so that was like an easier thing to believe.

Yeah. He was like, yeah. I'm never going out there, yeah. Shout out to Clarence. Yeah, good job, dude. You got ahead of it. So that's my first pick. And my second pick, um...

Hmm. All right. I'm going to take Babe the Big Blue Oaks. Oh, look at you. That was on my list. That's very solid. It's an interesting one. A newer, a new one.

a newer mythological creature, a purely American mythological creature. Yeah. Yeah. Can I ask you because you took that

so nobody's going to take it? Would Paul Bunyan have counted as well? See, that's a good question. I'm not sure. I don't think he's, I think Paul Bunyan's a man. But he's a huge.

He's huge, but I mean, you know, Wimby's not a mythical creature. He's not? No. Have you seen him swim? He sure seems like it.

I have not seen him in the water. No. It's crazy looking. Is it insane? brother it's a lot of man in there it's a lot for those of them

that was Paul Bunyan's gigantic blue ox where they created the Grand Canyon by wrestling oh I thought he dropped his axe and was dragging his ass

because his size really varies right yeah yeah yeah there were people who was like he was like six eight and there were like he was a hundred feet tall yeah there's a stat in like

Mamidgee Minnesota or something there's a Paul Bunyan in a Babe the Blue Ox. Yeah. They big? Go on. Go on. That is it.

They big. Oh, okay. Yeah. How big is Babe do you think? I think it depends. On the Dragon scale. I think grows in relation to Paul Bunyan. Yeah.

But I always, I feel like Babe the Blue Ox I always thought of as like multiple stories high. Well, here you go. Okay. Babe was said to weigh 10,000 pounds and measured seven axe handles between the eyes. I don't even. What's this? So like that? So like an axe.

handle like that. So seven of those just from eye to eye. Yeah. Really? You think that's an axe handle? Yeah. Oh, an axe handle. I was thinking the head of the eye, the steel part of the eye. Oh, yeah. I got you. So a good 15 feet between the eyes. Yeah. Yeah. That's big. I feel like, I feel like I always thought of him as like the size of a building. So he'd be like a building. Yeah. Yeah. Like 10 stories or something. I can handle that. You can't just make the Grand Canyon if you're, yeah, if you're seven feet tall. Yeah. I forgot about the Grand Canyon. Yeah. So you'd have to be even. bigger. Babe is often a mischievous silly little ox where he'll drink a river dry and leave like a bunch of laundry stranded and stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just like that we have that like, you know,

we have so little as far as so much, you know, like of like mythology. Yeah. I mean, we have like the kind of mythology when like a sociologist talks about America of us being like exceptional, but like not the fun kind of mythology. It's like a big guy and his animal. Yeah. I just like to eat pancakes. Yeah. Our is very, it's all like our mythology is, like our mythology is, also work. Yeah. You know? It's like John Henry.

He worked harder than a train. Yeah. And then he died. But he died. He died working. Yeah. But John the apple seed? He's like a farmer.

Yeah. Planting seeds. That's all he did was work. That's all he did. Roamed around and planted seeds. Greece has mythological creatures that like live on a mountain and like have sex. Yeah. Just guys with jobs?

Yeah. Ours are all man-met-map-man-a-man-a-man-a-man-a-man. They're just eating figs getting laid. It is true Man Yeah, babe, dude But we rule I love any pancake

Restaurant like you said that has Paul Bunyan incorporated into it You know you're gonna have some good bang Oh yeah and you know it's gonna have like six pieces of bread Yeah Yeah yeah Give it all to me Troy your second pick

Ooh second pick I'm gonna go I'm gonna go genies Oh Man, they didn't even Not even on my list. Good call. You know, because I feel like you have to go with like a mythical creature that can give you free stuff.

Yeah, that's always good. And that can erase mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. You make, you know. I've never seen that genie take. And that you could be a good guy and set free. Yeah.

Yeah, you can do that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Ha! Ha! Ha ha.

Okay. Well, wait, wait. It depends on which genie. Well, here's the thing, right? Because... Robin Williams? How well does this genie know my wife? Well, wait, because the genie is...

Like, it depends on which kind of genie, right? Because there's, like, the Robin Williams genie. Right. There's also, like, the I dream of genie, genie. That's right. Who becomes kind of like a girlfriend kind of situation. Is that the one you're thinking of? No.

But I mean, there are like a lot of different... Your fingers started doing a funny girlfriend. No, no, yeah. I was like a girlfriend. No, there's nothing. I'm just saying there's like a variety of different genies, right? There's evil genies too, right? What was like, but some of them because like the monkey paw shit, right?

Well, yeah, but that's what I mean, right? Is the I dream of genie, genie is like unlimited wishes. Right. And she lives with you. Yeah, it's unlimited wishes. Who wrote that? Yeah, I was going to say some guy in the 50s like, you know, it'd be really nice. Boys, I got a show.

Yeah. Just somebody divorced. She's a broad. She's a broad, see? And she makes whatever we want to happen happen. Imagine a broad who acts like a dame. And dresses like a tramp. They're like, soul.

Lives in a pillow room away from you. Milton Burrell, you've done it again. But then there's also like the Robin Williams genie is a limited amount of wishes. Right, right, right, right. So, like, to me, it's more about the amount of wishes. Right, right, right. Man, it'd be tough. Because you just know how you can back yourself into corners on the wrong wish, you know?

Yeah. Oh, I was just going to say, isn't it, though, traditionally like a monkey's paw? Like, you get, the genie will give you your wish. It seems like it. But he's like, ooh. I think that's the gin. They want to mess it up. Oh, the gin.

I think that's the gin, which is the original version of the genie that's like an Arabic mythology thing. And it's more monkey's paw, like kind of like a Satan thing where it's like, oh. It's like a dark genie. Yeah. Like, I think it's kind of. kind of like, oh, it'll, it's like, it'll grant a thing, but then it's bad. What would you wish for? Can't do more wishes, obviously.

See, but can you not do more wishes? Well, in this, you can't. Philosophical. I feel like any given. You're talking with a lawyer here. I feel like any G. You are, Mr. Esquire. Oh, yeah.

People don't, you went to law school and were briefly a lawyer? No, I never practiced. But you did go to law school. I went to law school. I went to law school. I passed the bar. Yeah. I have, I have a license, but I never, I never did it.

But, okay, let's just say, for argument's sake, you can't. you can't wish for more wishes. Okay. Okay. Because then you could just, you could screw up and keep correcting it. So I get three. Well, two, if you want to be a good guy.

But yeah, three, if you want to be a lunatic. Well, you don't have to wish to free the genie. You can just free the genie, right? I thought you had to use a wish. Do you have to use a wish to free the genie? Pretty sure. I don't know. Otherwise, why not?

If Disney's Aladdin, I feel like that's what we're going on. Otherwise, I mean, if you could be the genie, if you could free the genie after your third wish, why not? Because then you got a genie on your side. Okay. Okay. So, okay. So, this is the most serious I've seen you be all right so far. You are locked, dude.

You're in my orbit, dude. They're talking. Okay, so third wish, we will put to freeing the genie. Okay. So I get two wishes, right? This is what Laura gets, she doesn't like these. When I do get real serious, these hypotheticals. And she's like, I don't calm down.

I think I would have to wish, first of all, for, like, health and longevity for my family. Yeah. Right. And second for lots and lots of money. Yeah. Because I feel like if I have lots and lots of money, I can kind of work out anything else. You can get it all done, you know,

except health and longevity, which you've acquired in a second way. First, and I would go, I got health and longevity for family and millions and millions of dollars. And then I go, all right, Jeannie, I'll see you. Yeah. You can stay in the mother-in-law. Yeah, you know, I mean,

This is America. If I got like, you know, if I got 20, 30 million dollars, there's kind of nothing I couldn't. I don't need to live out of my means either. It's a 50 billion. Then you could buy a team. I could, yeah, that I wouldn't want a team. That feels like I won't work. You know, I don't want, I don't want people mad at me because of the Broncos can't close.

That's a good point. That's true. I mean, I wouldn't do much. You'd ask for my, my two wishes. I'd free the genie at the end, but I wish for Sean to feel about rollerblading the way he does about skating. and two for him to be bad at it. Oh, no. Is this because I'm almost done with my second book?

Is this? This is what it's like to be a reader. He hates me. Some competition. Yeah, I mean, I've only read, I think like six books this year, dude. I'm only read two. Cool. I'm on the same amount.

Or I'm on a third, I guess. I'd wish for you to not know how to read. But then I'd still want you to act like you were reading. Shut your mouth. I'd wish for you to not know how to read but still go to coffee shops and read every day. That guy's books upside down. You're just, you're crying?

I swear to God I used to know what this stuff said. Fuck, man. Give me another coffee and put some reading juice in it this time. How come all the shapes look kind of the same? Damn, that'd be tight. I think it's great. I was trying to frindle you with the, I don't think you'll read two books this year.

What is Frindle? It's that thing where you're like, motivate me or something? It's like, by like, you can't do you're not going to be able to do it. You can't eat this whole cake. Yes, I can. You all show you. Yeah.

I could eat a whole cake, by the way. You can't eat this whole cake. I always do. I've been the person as even people were like, Sean Dome or whatever because of like stuff you'll say on the podcast, I think. Listen, for everybody out there,

funny, I'm funny. I'm not dumb. Yes. I'm hot and I'm funny. People will slide into your DNA. and be like, hey, man, it's okay if you can't read. First of all, that's a DM.

It is okay if you can't read. But I can. DMing you, which is the thing you have to read. I have long maintained that you were a brilliant and very intelligent person. I appreciate it. And it was just like the education thing. You know what I mean? That's like a huge difference. I'm not extremely educated.

Yeah. One and a half years of college, maybe two. As soon as an idea is presented to you, you get a like fucking that. You're very smart. So, no, it's no surprise. I never thought it was until these people started sliding in the DMs being like, hey, it's all good. You're funny.

You send it to my desk. I'll fucking talk to him Most of those DMs are Isaac too By the way I know I'm sending him Every day Isaac's like

It's cool you can't read dude You're dumb bro You're dumb You're dumb That was a deep sauce That's a depressing thing to read Maybe he'll send a picture of Isaac In a cool situation

You're dumb bro And it'll be him having Like a cappuccino at a cafe Yeah he's having buffalo wings With Young Buck or something Here I am Is there anything More depressing than reading, it's okay, you can't read, or you're dumb bro when you have to drag your finger along?

You're dumb, where I'm like, Laura, does this say, I'm dumb or they're dumb? Who's the bro in this situation? Is it them? What's the comma doing there? You just have to sound out an insult. You should all dumb with a bee, idiot. I'm never going to know where commas go. I'll tell you that.

That's never going to change. I don't feel it out. Yeah, you got to feel it out. Where it feels natural. Never feels natural. I think the more you read it'll start a question. Yeah, we'll see. David, time for your second pick.

Got to take the sexiest one. I'm taking vampires. Yeah, the sexy one. Vampires is a good one. Sexy one forever. Everybody loves them. Why are they so set? Why do they have to be so set?

It's the sucking? It is. It's the next part. No, I think there's something about the idea of them being permanently unavailable. They can only come out at night, which is sexy. You know what I mean? They're just unavailable forever. You can't actually fall in love with them.

They're like the ultimate fuckball. Yeah. Well, the nighttime is sexy too. Truly distant all the time. They've been around long enough that they're like rich and smart. They know like they're very worldly. Well, that's kind of sexy if you do it right. Yeah.

They have an accent, but you can't really place it. Yeah. They look young forever. Yeah. I don't know. Transylvania was real until a few years ago. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a real people live in Transylvania. Yeah. Yeah. It's gnarly where vampires are from. Uh, it's weird because. they don't have, there's nothing in the text that says they have to be sexy. There's also in Dracula, there's like only two sentences about like sex in the entire thing. Well, I feel like it's like a very like, like, I do think the blood sucking thing is like kind of the neck lighting is kind of like inherently sort of.

And the sucking part. Like there's, you know, I'm serious. I'm getting all rocked up. You guys all get bono. I know you're blushing. I have pneumonia What if the vampires just drank blood From like the back of your knee

It would be less Right Or like a boot glasses You get it like a German beer bar Yeah Is that even the place where Wouldn't you want to get like a femoral artery or something? Yeah like right in the inner thigh

I get the jugular right here That's what it is It'd be less sexy if they were biting Because like your carotids right these are right here But they always go This there's nothing There's nothing slamming over here where they bite you Well, your carotids are right here

I trust the vampire, I don't know I gotta tell you something about me I thought they were like a carotid bite Well now because you never see them biting the throat Like Lawrence Taylor or anything They're always over here biting the sexy part of your neck Well, but I guess that's part of why it's sexy Right?

Is that they'd rather do the sexier thing That's less efficient I think they're also rich They're also rich Yeah, they got rich And they hang out at nighttime with a bunch of money It's interesting how they're all rich because, like, a lot of people, like,

that's also not guaranteed. Because there's a lot of counts. It's like Count Dracula, right? So he started rich and everything. But some people just make, like, a consistent minimum wage forever. I was like, what if you were just like a, I guess that's kind of what, like,

what we do in the shadows is like middle class vampires. Right. Yeah. But I feel like. I think that if you get enough time, you're going to figure out how to get some dough. Yeah, yeah. You're saying, like, they're just around hanging out at night.

You're going to learn to play the guitar or something. You know, one reader to another. I get it. That's how you get smart, you know. Yeah, you also got to be like a guy that another vampire wants to turn into a vampire, you know? Because it's like they either. So you were already cool. Yeah, like they either drink your blood until you die or they do the thing where they turn you into also a vampire.

Because they're like, I want to hang out with him. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to like, oh, now I got to pay for all this motherfucker's fights. That's true. I got to like, I got to, oh, he can't do anything. It's like bringing somebody on my life. I got to put them on my clear? What the whole?

Oh, that's what I want to do is turn somebody who has to sleep on my couch. Yeah. There's a big virgin aspect to it too, right? It's that vampires like virgins. I know they address that. I don't know. Well, yeah, but I think it's also like,

wasn't that like kind of like the thing of like the vampire lore was that it was always like, oh, the vampire goes and like corrupts like the young maiden kind of thing. Like it was definitely like a story. But they're never finding young virgin guys. They're always looking for young. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because at the end of the day, a dude wrote it,

and he's like scribbling out what he's worried about, which is some rich dude coming and fucking sucking his girlfriend. He was like, this is going to make double money that the genie thing did. That piece of shit. His last name was Stoker. Bram Stoker. Bram Stoker. You don't sound like he invented a fraternity.

Hell of God, dude. That's a crash out novel, dude. Things went bad, and he's just like, But yeah, vampires, sexy, timeless. Yeah. Good one. Sean, time for you a second. And then your third picks.

I'm going centaur. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Human horse, right? Centaur is good. I hate the way a centaur looks. I love it, dude. What's the difference between a centaur and a minotaur?

Well, menatars is my next pick. It's going to be my next pick. Oh, you're going to sit on a minotaur back to back? Because Manitars, gnarly head, human body, centaur, human body. or human up. I love the way a minotaur looks. I hate the way a centaur looks. Minotaur has

bullhead, human body. Minotar looks like a sex party animal and a centaur is just half horse. Minotar is the one I want to be. I want the centaur to put a shirt on. I wear shirts. When I go to a steak restaurant, I'll put a shirt on. You're not a centaur?

I'll put a collared shirt on. I want him to wear any shirt. I don't like that I have to look at this like, naked man torso coming out of a horse. Now my Minotar buck naked all the time. Sure. Never going to put clothes on my nanotar.

Yeah. Ever. But yeah. They have like the bowl legs sometimes. One's half bull. One's half horse. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's also like the Minotar is like human head horse body. Right? That's a center. Okay. And then the, okay. And so then the Minotar is human body.

Bull head. And that's, that's worse to me. That's terrifying. They have bull legs sometimes. Well, that's like pagan. You know what I mean? The minotaur walked around the maze.

That's a Greek myth, the minotaur. Okay. Yeah. Centaurs, I'm not sure what they're come from. I just think they're both dope as hell. I always have. It doesn't make sense to me. The centaur, the horse man, has a full horse body, right?

Right. And then where the human's torso comes out is just the horse's neck. So what I'm saying here, this dude has too many appendages. Yeah, it doesn't. Six appendages. It doesn't seem weighted well. Yeah. It feels ungainly.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't know. They move weird. That's why, like, when you see them in movies, you're like, I don't like. Oh, like a one bit. Something feels awful. Moro Combat was on TV the other day, and I saw a little Goro, and I think it influenced

these picks. Yeah. I tried to send you a picture. It is hard. It also just feels like it's just like having, like, an ugly friend. Yeah, but they're all so shredded, though. They're so shredded. I know, but it's like.

They're also bulls. Yeah. I'm reading Lonesome Dough. The bulls were a problem. Way to shoehorn that is. Well, no, I mean, that's why I'm, that's why I know that. I didn't encounter anything. That's why I'm talking about it like it was a Larry Johnson highlight video.

Bulls were a problem, dude. But they were like, we forget, like, I've been realizing it reading this book. A bowl is a male cow by an asshole? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. How much of an issue it was like just crossing rivers and shit? Like, so many different things could kill you back in the day. Yeah, it was harder. Good for cities.

You had to Ford the river? You had to ford a river. That was a big part of Oregon Trail for myself, that and hunting. Yeah, hunting was where was that? Centaur or Minotar? Nice. Yeah. David, time for your third pick.

Abominable snowman. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a very good one. I want it in the Himalayas more than I want Bigfoot in the Northwest. I also had, I had Yeti slash Abolmable Snowman on my list, didn't put Bigfoot on there. Yeah, that's how I don't know why.

like maybe it's like living in the Northwest or something, but I weirdly have more respect for the Yeti in somewhere. I used to think they were made out of snow. It's wait. Bigfoot's real. I think Bigfoot's real. I think Bigfoot's real too. That's fair. That's what we want to know and surprise after everything I've said on this show. Yeah. Bigfoot also doesn't seem like that fun to have because it's like, oh, you can't find him. That guy that plays the alpha in 28 years later, Bone Temple, he looks like Bigfoot and he's real because he's in the movie. Yeah. What's his name? What? I don't know. Have you seen 28? Have you? Have you seen 28? years later, Bone Temple? Yeah. Oh, no, the new one? Yeah. I haven't. The guy that plays alpha

looks like what I imagine. They have the alpha in the last one too, though. Yeah. Yeah. This is, they have an alpha in the last, this guy is like the alpha for this one. Oh, that's a big dude. Yeah, and he's swinging hog the whole time. He's covered in blood. He's said, that's what I feel. Show these fulls. His dong is out? He's swinging hog. His dong is out, dude. And it will embarrass you when you're watching that movie. Hello? Swinging dick. It's so, it's just everyone. He's covered in blood the whole time. But anyway, I don't I think Bigfoot could exist because look at this guy oh yikes yeah yeah we're in a hurry how much time we got I'm gonna try to see his penis like 20 minutes

till Troy's heart out oh okay that's why I was rushing you uh sorry rushing because you're mad at me I understand the Yeti he's great I like it's because you grow up with Bigfoot and then you find out there's another one yeah yeah ski free you remember that game that came like on computers I do remember that game yeah and the Yetty would come out and he would like attack while you're skiing. Well, what about Matterhorn? Do you guys ever hit up the Matterhorn before they tore it down? No.

They didn't turn on the Matterhorn. I thought they tore it down. Oh, maybe not, but it's that ride at Disneyland. Yeah. Oh, I've never been to Disney land. Where the Yetty pops out of it. Troy. I've never been. How long have you looked at something?

You guys haven't been a good. Go get an Omega or whatever it is and go to Disneyland. Actually, me and Jamel Johnson are going soon. When? I can look up the text? I think in April. You interested? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm also, can we record so I can make it a work trip? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We should all go to this. I would love to. When are you like what? Let me let's finish this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, the Yeti, the abominable snowman. Abominable. Abominable. Abominable. Abominable. Abominable. Abominable. Abotinable.

Sounds like we're about to be backpack grabbers. It's a bottle of abominable. A bottle abominable. Abominable. It's a bomb. I'm just kidding, black coffee. It's adominable. Adopinamable.

Abominable. Baratomomom. Obamitable. Abominable. This is just like that Eminem's darkest period. He just can't figure it out. He's like, I know there's a rhyme there.

I just can't get it. He's like, he'll be back, man. We just got to wait this out. A novitable? An novitable, abominable? Unavoidable. Going to the hospital with a momatible. We'll be right back with Troy's third pick.

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Or even a lunchable with an abominable snowman Troy, time for your third pick I'm gonna go with The Boogie Man Oh Now what is that? Yeah, that's a good question Does Candyman count?

He's kind of a boogeyman, right? He's kind of a boogie man Or is the boogie man a monster to you? I think the boogeyman is kind of a It's like a monster because like the whole thing Was like the boogeyman scares kids into behaving Yeah

Right, which, you know, I don't have kids, but I think we all know child care is very expensive. Yes. And so if there was a guy that you could just be like, he'll keep him in line. Yeah. He kind of is watching your kids for you. Yeah. Right? That's pretty good.

Just got to pay some dude to live in your closet and be like, just kind of knock on the door. I just gave Arthur a rifle. But also, you know, it's just like a fun guy. He's boogie. That sounds pretty cool. And he's scary. And we're all, everybody. knows he's scary. If it's like you're rolling

with the boogie man, people are like, all right. If he's a monster, I picture boogory. You know, that's what I've always done. I've pictured like a drippy monster. You think he's been in a boogers? Well, because it sounds boogery. You know, boogie, booger. So I've always pictured like a dripping monster walking around. I was just kind of pictured just like a

scary, like a ghost kind of guy. The word boogeyman you should describe a monster in English may have derived from middle English, boogie or boggy, which means frightening specter, terror or scarecrow. It's an imaginary demon in the form of a bear that ate small children. Dog.

That's hard core, dude. That's also just an animal. I like it kind of when it's just an animal. Yeah, you do. It's a fucking, it's like a worse there. Yeah. But it's like, it's like I'm putting together a team here, you know? It's like I got the genie that gave me money.

I got the, you know, whatever. The genie's free. Oh, you got a whole running through. And now I'm like, yo, if the dragon ain't enough for you. I got my boogeyman on the ground. if you want to take it down there. Yo, did you just hit my dragon with your Prius? Talk to the boogeyman.

In German, it's the Bootsie Man. Well, I don't care for that. The Bootsie Man. I don't care of the man at all. I'm going to play the Space Plan. If you don't clean up your room, I'm going to eat your toes while you'll sleep bubble. Say my name three times, Bean. You are the Bootsie Man.

The Bootsie Man. German guy versus Bootsy Cards are very different energies. Oh, I am the Bootsman. Oh, you're like the Bootsie Man. I don't like how comfortable you are with this bubble. Would you like to go dance with the Bootsie Man? In German, they have a game called Who's Afraid of the Boogie Man? Which in German is, We're hot angst von Schwarzenmann.

Yeah, all of this is terrified. That does sound crazy. We're hot angst from Schwarzenma. I don't like you. Man. It's like, whoever said it came up. with that you're like oh yeah your your dad was a nazi for sure people thought they were creepy before the nazis too right they have to that language is creepy sound in language yaw yeah yeah

yeah yeah a lot of vampire i am de bootsima i see if people thought he Siri did people think germans were creepy before the holocaust and now we wait the boogeyman that's a great pick yeah dude time for my third and fourth picks as it is a serpentine draft with my third pick saw it coming, I am taking the Ghalom. Yeah. Golum's good. The figure from a Jewish folklore who's like a man made of mud who could be activated with a little like Hebrew letter on his forehead.

So Golm is, so a Golom is its own thing. Because I always thought Golm was the one specific from Lord of the Rings. Gullum from Lord of the Rings has nothing to do with the Jewish stuff. I think he just saw that name and liked it and spelled different. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that's not what a Golom looks like either then. There's, no.

Okay. Gollums are like big fucking like Kind of almost more Minutory but without like a bullhead They're like giant dudes made out of clay Do they does it look like their head goes down like Crang's body kind of like their Their head

They look like Crang's body guy Yeah like that they're like big Yeah And the Golm of Prague is like one of the most famous ones Who just like beat up anti-Semites And made by a rabbi and beat up like anti-Semites in Prague That's a good one The Golm of Vilna the Golm of Prague

Yeah Anyway I just like Like, I just like, I hate that we felt like we had to create this myth, but like, I do like the idea. And there are people who think that Superman was based off of like Gallum stories that the guys who created Superman heard when they were growing up. We're like, what if there were this like protector, you know, who is like undefeatable? Does it, does it bother you that then like, is it Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter that like created? Lord of the Rings. It's a Gala.

That's not like that at all. I, you know, that's what I was just asking. I didn't, I had no idea. Because like, to me, that would be,

I would be a little bothered. It's like this like, you know, badass that like fucks up anti-Semites. And then they were like, what if we make him weird? And now he likes rings. Like a fish eating,

Woody Allen looking motherfucker. What if they call them Superman? We have Smigel Superman. It is weird because he has a name too. Smeagle. Why do they call him Ghalem? It's weird. Because of his throat.

Yeah. That's why. Oh, is it really? It's like a strange thing, right? And so the noise he would make, because he'd be coughing and then. On the one hand, I don't like it. On the other, it makes Golm feel secret again.

Like the big scary Ghalom that there's another more famous Golm. So I kind of, in that way, I'm like, oh, he's underground again. Take Golm again. Golm. Nice. Golom. In my fourth pick, I'm going to take Cerebus, the three-headed dog at the gates of hell. Oh, man.

You bastard. Yeah, that was my next. He just looks scary. Yeah, does he do anything other than be a three-headed dog? He'll just bite the shit out of you. There's no fire coming out or anything, though? He guards Hades, right? Yeah.

He guards hell, so he's got to be pretty good. Who's dying to get in that? But what's he guarding it from, by the way? Cerberus? Making sure people don't get out? I think maybe it's making sure people don't get out, right? He's like the door guy at Imi Pa. Making sure the right people stay in,

maybe the right people stay out. Yeah, that three-headed dog. No thanks. Real dank, real buck And like Hercules had to tame them That's pretty cool You know But yeah, they're just fucking scary ass

Scary ass dogs Three mouths, one butt One butt That's a lot of poop You know that butt is like Working hard All I need is one butt One butt

That's all I need in this world All I need is one butt I had one butt And three dogs That's what she wanted. That was her goal with those lyrics. Troy, time for your fourth pick. My fourth pick.

Ooh, I'm going to do Anansi, the spider. Oh, that's such a good one. Which one is that? The trickster. The trickster, the spider from West African mythology. I haven't even heard anybody referenced it since I was a little boy. Really? Come on.

Yeah. Turns out that he was kind of a creepy dude. But Neil Gaiman, creepy do a bad dude. That was like a under, but whatever, allegedly. Mm-hmm. He wrote that book. He's in American Gods. Yeah.

A Nancy boy. A Nazi. Yeah. How big is the spider? I think he can shake shit. Oh, do you remember the book with this visual? Whoa. Do you guys remember that book?

Uh-uh. Oh, man. That really brought. Sean was only reading kids books about Steve Winwood. Different literature. But he's like a trickster I think he can transform if I remember right He can take on different forms

It's it's not he's not like scary Because he's a spider he's like he's like very clever and like Yeah very clever very smart Yeah but like definitely definitely somebody you want on your When he's a spider is he a bigger spider is he like a pillow size I think he can be what he wants Is he scary? That's what Sean I think he can try to I think he can be scary if he's scary or not

I think he can be scary if he wants to but I feel like what I remember. Very scary or just scary? I think he would more just like trick you. Okay. So he's twicky. Yeah, very tricky. He's a twix.

He's a twix. He's very twicky. Very twicky. I think he can choose to be scary, but he usually is twicky. Okay. Does he ever get horny? Huh? Does he ever get horny?

No, dude. No, no, no. Let's stop. You know what he is? Wait, wait, wait. No, we're going here. Does he ever get horny? So I do think he gets horny.

Okay. It sucks. But I think he's more... I think he's a shapeshifter. Who then would trick you into making you horny. Oh, no! Now I'm scared. And then...

And then would reveal himself. And you'd be like, oh, but I was horny and now I'm dead. Gonna have an hour? Whoa. I was horny. I was horny and now I lost... We lost what I wanted. We just wrote another M&M song.

David, your fourth pick? An Nazi's a great pick. Yeah, I got a ticket to the ocean and getting... Nessy. Or not not the ocean. I guess the lock. Oh, I just said get nasty. You said get nassy. Nessy. I just like a water. I like a lot, a water creature we never seen. And the water ones feel more realistic to me like it's like we don't know what the force is. Well, Sean thinks there's a huge civilization. I don't think that. I think there could be. There's a slight difference. I think that there could be people that live at the bottom of the ocean. Yes. Brother, you just got to let him have it.

It's more unexplored than space. That is true. A lot down there that's not more than space. That's not. Obviously, that's not true. Not more than space. Obviously, that's not true. Not more than space.

I give you guys enough credit to go down certain roads with me. No, that's not true. That's just something I was saying. The moon you're thinking of. I was deflecting. The moon you're thinking of. I wasn't serious. I was kind of just trying to say something ridiculous.

Okay, yeah, yeah. But yeah, no, there's a, it's more explored than the land, right? There's like 80% of the ocean. And more explored than the land. Yeah, for sure. Could be people down there? It's most of it. It's most of this place.

Be another Las Vegas down there. Now you're sniping. Now you're sniping. That was a sign for real. Homo sapiens could not exist under that much pressure on the ground. They're built different. You don't know what kind of pressure the Shams under it every day. They are him.

They're built different, bro. Okay. What about those fish? There's fish down there that live? They're not. But they can't live up here. Right. I'm not saying these people can live up here.

I'm saying these people are down there. They're not saying a different kind of evolution has occurred completely. Walk and fish. I try a couple of manatees down there. There are mammals in the ocean. I know. That's true. But they don't live at the bottom of the ocean.

You don't know that. You ever been down there? It is kind of like the conversation. Sorry, I didn't know you'd have been down there. No, let me know. I'll shut up. What did you see? Yeah, sorry.

I'll listen straight from the eyes. Nessie. Yeah, the lockbender. Yeah, Nessie's good. And Nessie doesn't seem as like, I was thinking about other sea monsters. Nessi seems, it seems a lot more lighthearted. Yeah. I think about it's just like a Bronosaurus with fins.

Yeah. Is sort of how it's supposed to look. Like, that's fun. She's also been around forever. Yeah. Like Nessie's like kind of like an OG. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's Scottish.

That's fun. Yeah. She probably has a great Scottish brogue. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I almost tried. I can't do it.

Yeah. I ain't got Brog was as far as I could go. You got Scottish on you? The Scottish accent of Brog. She also... No, I don't... Brog. Brog? Scottish.

Scottish Brog? Isaac, is this triggering for you? It is. Sorry, our own move. Okay. Isaac, ran afoul of a wee lassie from Edinburgh. Oh, no. Sounded just like me, by the way.

Sean Jordan, time for your fourth and then your final pick. Medusa, bro. Oh, yeah. Medusa or Gorgens? Huh? Medusa or Gorgens? Gorgans generally or Medusa specifically or Gorgians? I didn't know they

I thought there was the Medea I thought there was one She's a Gorgon oh I'll pick Medusa specifically All right yeah just because I'm thinking of Clash of the Titans My mom's favorite movie one of her favorite movies of all time Yeah just Medusa man snake hair It's a good power being able to turn someone into stone if you want to Do you think that Medusa could have been hot?

Yeah, I thought that was the point That's why people looked at it right yeah Because she was hot. Oh. I thought it was because she was horrifying. Yeah, I thought it was because she was horrifying. Yeah. But it always seemed like it would make more sense if she was hot.

These are just two people who have a different view on what's sexy? A manatee or a... If you got enough drinks in the guy, that's what he would boil it to? He's like, I'm attracted to manatees. But it took a while. A bunch of kinds of chicken at the buffet, you know? It says she was originally a beautiful maiden. Oh.

But Minerva turned her hair into horrible snakes. That wouldn't stop me. Yeah, yeah. So she is beautiful, but the horrible snakes are what make you turn to stone. Just get her a football helmet. Snakehead would stop you. Someone had snake hair? If we wrapped them up.

If Emma Stone had snake hair, that would stop you. Ooh. No, it wouldn't. You picked the wrong person. They're snakes. They're snakes. I don't mind snakes. It's real snakes.

Do you have a hair time? If she had bug hair, that would bother me. I don't mind snakes. The snake and it'll look at you. Maybe lick you. If it was shrimp or silverfish or something, it was no way. Dude, if you get turned to stone by Medea. Dusa. Can you be unturned from stone?

You can. I do it. I forget how, though. You got to cut her head off. You get her blood, right? Oh, you got to kill it. But I mean, like, could she just be like, I'm just playing around? Like, I don't know. I think a drop of her blood unstones you, right? Am I making that up? I don't know. I know you have to cut her head off. Yeah. Or don't you have to, like, get her to look in a mirror? I can't remember. That's what they do, isn't it? All right. Well, in the sake of time, in my last pick, right? Yep. I'm going to pick a Phoenix. Oh, Phoenix is good.

Phoenix is very good. You've never been there. You think you've been there. It ain't real. Every time you've been there, it's something different, I'll tell you that. That's right. That is true. Phoenix does shape shift. Yeah. Had a lot of weird times out there. Yeah. I just think Phoenix looks cool. I don't really know much about them. I just think they looked up as hell. They rise from the ashes. Yeah. Phoenix is very, very good. They rise from the ashes, which is inspiring.

And also, they can fly. And also, they're like made of fire. Yeah, which is cool. And they're huge. Dumbledore has one. I think they are big. Yeah. But it's also cool. It's like they burn up and they die and then they rise from the ashes.

This is where we tell you that the end of his draft, we have to get all of these tattooed on our back. Yours would be pretty cool, dude. Yeah, if I didn't stutter through that, it would have been a lot funnier. Sorry about that. You want to be really, it would be really eclectic. It's like, you know, Phoenix, dragon, manatee, a blue ox. Yeah, I like mine. A mermaid riding baby blue walks

while I call them in Sarabas fight. David, talk for your final pick. I can't believe I got it. I was really, my goal was to go just like a BLT just straight down the line this one. Yeah. Weirwolf. Oh, yeah.

Warwolf is good. Sexy as well. That was going to be my next one. I mean sexy in the daytime maybe when they're not werewolves. Are a werewolf sexy? They're gross to me. Well, but they're gnarly, right? Werewolves aren't sexy.

You're so serious right now. I know I am. Sorry. I mean, I do have really hard opinions about this shit, I guess. You know, there's different kinds that there's different werewolves. What about like the likens in the underworld? See, they're wet. They're too wet for you.

You don't like a wet. You don't like a wet shit. Werewolves are cool because werewolves are people during the day and they only turn on a full moon. On a full moon. So it could just be like a friend most of the time. It's like 90% person. Yeah, it's like 90% just having like a friend. You don't have a friend who gets too drunk once a month?

Me? Well, that's what? A were a werewolf is coming. kind of based on binge drinking. Yeah. It's like, oh, no, it's a full moon. I get hammered. I wake up in the morning and I'm like, what happened?

I mean, the howlust the moon thing is directly from. Yeah. Once a month, he calls you and says, we should go to do go-karts soon. Yeah. Okay. And you wake up the next morning in a tattered white Oxford. I never thought about it. I'm a werewolf.

Okay, but seriously, we should all go do go-karts. I would do go-kart. Let's figure out Disneyland. Let's get Disneyland on the books. It's going to be a long summer. Well, werewolves are good. Yeah. Yeah.

It's really good. Werewolves and the ones in Underworld. Those are sexy werewolves when they're people. What are the Twilight ones are hot, right? Oh, yeah. They're, yes. They're gorgeous. Sorry.

I take back what I said earlier. Werewolves are hot. I'd like them even if they were wet. Weren't they kind of wet? You're a version to moisture? It's interesting. Freaks me out. I know.

I don't love it. It's interesting. Trust me, it's gotten in the way. Troy, your final pick. Ooh, final pick. I'm going to go with the Griffiths. Yeah. Even Griffin.

Half lion. Half eagle. You know, it's like... That's awesome. It can fly. It's just cool. It's what you want out of a centaur. It really...

Yeah. It is. It's the business end of both. It's kind of the ideal... It's crazy it went fifth round. It's kind of the ideal mythical creature. It's a really, really great mythical creature because it, I believe, can be nice if it serves you. I think so.

And like I said, it can fly. So, you know, if the dragon's not working for some, you know, reason, the dragon's at the vet, I have, I still have transportation. They're in Warcraft. That's also, I mean, that's a win right there. And, I mean, it's just a lion and eagle, man. It's like half lion and half eagle. Like, how do you, absolutely go wrong with that? Those are two animals you want to tell people that you were like.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You're like, I'm just like a lion. I'm basically an eagle, bro. Yeah. And it's both of them together? Yeah. That's good.

I'm a Griffin. I'm a Griffin. It was actually my middle school mascot. Really? What did you go to middle school? Grant in Denver. Grant Griffin's for the Tomcats. That's so dumb.

Orny, corny middle-aged guys. Tomcats are good, though. Tomcats are good, though. Because Tom cats is not a good at Griffin. I think it's bad. It can be Top Gun F-14. It can be Top Gun F-14 Tomcat.

Or it can be like the cool cats that like, you know, Or like outdoor like alley cats that just go out and they lean a little more into that but it ain't no Griffin I'll tell you that It's cool middle school yeah trojans see that's all right oh about you Warriors Mustangs okay see I like I would I'd rather we're Bobcats in grade school but we're cute Bobcats are dope Bobcats is good for kids Bob cats is good Oh what was they gonna say it was something really smart Griffin can't imagine Awesome oh lion and eagle are like the two most common tattoo you see on buff dudes at the gym.

And it's combined into one thing. Yeah. Pretty good, huh? I just started going. Thank God. Thank God you dug in the great. Pretty good, huh? It's like, yeah, Lion, Eagle, and friend that died street races.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are the three. And they combined them into one guy. Also, some type of a foreign phrase. Yeah. Whether it be Latin or whatever. Right, right, right, yeah. Sanskrit. Some spelt.

wrong. My final pick is going to be something that I believe, it started as fictional and I think it's becoming mythological over the last like 30 or 40 years. I'm taking Cthulu. Ooh, Cthuloo's good. Yeah, the HP Lovecraft character.

Is Cthulhu like a vampire kind of? Cthuloo's like a giant squid man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. It's kind of like a Crockin or something. Yeah, it's like a Crackin, right? Exactly. Crackin was on my list. Cthulu sounds a lot doper though

Cthululie he's like a winged squid face and they're like Are gonna like tear the world What level does something have to be to be winged Instead of winged you know That's a great question Like a chicken is winged I wouldn't call a chicken winged Yeah that's true

I think when it's winged you don't expect it to have the wings Yeah I would agree with that Yeah it's like a novel A raven it's not a winged raven you know It's not a winged angel Yeah like if pigs could fly They'd be winged pigs It's a metal van right there.

Buffalo winged. If they're expensive enough. I'm like 12 wingas. 12 boneless wingas. You guys doing 50 cent wingas then, sir? You guys doing 50 cent wingas? Bwinga. Isaac, do you have a pick?

Yeah, speaking of winged, Pegasus. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Man, I can't believe we left that on the table. Peggy was up there. I want a pegged out unicorn. That's what I want. You want to peg a unicorn?

Sean's looking for a third. Get me one. I'll harness that rainbow. Be careful. Careful that horn. Sean, you went first. You took unicorn, centaur, minotaur, Medusa, and Phoenix. David, you went second.

You took leprechaun, vampire, yeti, lock nest monster, and a werewolf. That's the most little kid one. Jay Z's verse for monster. Ha! Goblin, cool. Troy, you took dragons, genies, the boogeyman, Nancy, and the Griffin. I went last and I took Mermaid, Babe the Big Blue Ox, Ghalom, Cerberus, and the Cthuloolew. We left a lot of mythical creatures on the board.

There's so many. All the other ones. Siren, succubus. Troll, gnome. Leviathan. Giant, ogre. Fries. Cyclops.

So you can fool Cyclops. Yeah. You know. I don't want a one. I don't want a dumb one. Hydra. Hydra is a dank one. Yeah, I had hydron here.

La Hirona. Sphinx. Oh, yeah. What did you say, my Shirona? No, La Hirona. Chupa. Chupacabra. Chippa Cobra.

Jackalobra. Oh, yeah, Chippa Cobra. Yeah, jackalope. We had jackaloupes in South Dakota, or what, we had the myth in South Dakota, the jackaloupe. Really? Completely forgot about the jackalo.

Nah. All right. Not enough fun to believe in that. I'm just trying to locate. It's not fun to believe in a little antler did. I guess, Yeah, sure. I believe in it. Nice. All right.

Now I do. Good job. You did it. You know what? I believe in them too. Brother. My jackalope, brother. We want to hear yours.

Hit us up at all fantasy pod at gmail.com. Strong arm of a father. Strong arm of two fathers. United by fatherhood. Heroes. United by fatherhood drawn together by brotherhood. We should cut our hands and do this next episode. Let's do it, brother.

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