All Fantasy Everything - Old People Who Can Kick Our Ass (w/ Kyle Kinane, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Yo yo yo! Another week, another dose of the AFE gang to keep a smile on that face :) This week Ian Karmel is joined by the right and left fist of the GVG as well as Chicago's finest son Kyle Kinane! We know everyone is feeling feisty right now so this week we drafted "Old People Who Could Still Kick Our Ass!" Strap those gnarly boots on and get ready to laugh! Episode Guest:Kyle Kinane @kylekinane IG: @kylekinaneSupport the show!Sponsors:Hawthorne - Use promo code ALLFANTASY for 10% off your first purchase at Hawthorne.co.Feals - Become a member today by going to Feals.com/allfantasy and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.Hims - Try hims today by starting out with a free online visit. Go to forhims.com/allfantasy5.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. On today's episode of All Fantasy Everything, we're drafting old people who could still kick our ass with Sean Jordan, David Borey, and our special guest, Kyle Kinane, who you know from having several very funny specials like Loose in Chicago, Whiskey Icarus, Death of the Party,

and I'm leaving out one on purpose to make you feel insecure, Kyle. All on today's episode of all fantasy everything welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is currently taking place at a Buca di Beppo. I've still never been. I've been to one Buca di Beppo and it was in Ohio. Coming through with a crazy why oh why oh.

Yeah, that's where they're at. I mean, I like a big cheap Italian restaurant. I do love that. Do you like Olive Garden still? Do you still? I wouldn't. I'm not going to shit on it. I got no problem with an Olive Garden.

Olive Gardens are dank. There's no. Yeah, they're dope, dude. I don't see anybody's problem. People like to have a problem with them. And it's dumb. It's cheap. It's good.

I counter with when was the last time you went to Olive Garden? I went in July. You're talking to me? Yeah. I went in July. You're talking to me? Yeah. I went in July in South Dakota. I went with the queen and we got shit to go, Playboy. They had like the two to go. You went to Olive Garden to go?

Yeah. I got a waitress to go. You know I'm talking about Danny Polifredo, Playboy. You might as well just fucking scoop up some puke from behind a dumpster. Yeah, endless breadsticks end when you get it to go. That's the, you're missing the whole point of going to Olive Garden. I got Hooters to go once when I was playing that Stanford and Son in Kansas City. What a horrible combination of words you just said.

It was all awful. It was all awful, but the club, it was, I don't know, the club had a couple locations, and one of them was like in the strip mall and the only thing that was open for food was a hooters and i didn't want to sit there alone and eat at hooters like as they were closing so i got hooters to go which also yeah it's just sat in a different place you get buffalo shrimp at hooters pretty good stuff to eat that's not what you're going to get at a denny's or some other place you're going to stop to have a meal anyway i got no problem with going to Hooters and having a meal.

Don't be a creep. It's a good chicken wing, but I just sat on my bed eating chicken wings. Like, I don't know, in a hotel in Missouri. No, Kansas. What are we going to do? We're just bringing up the glory days now. Yeah, there we go. We're just going to talk about the good times all episode.

we're just gonna talk about the good times all episode i would kill to eat some taco time behind the double taco time's the difference a crispy burrito yeah that's what's great sean you want to chime in talk about taco john's for a second yeah we can talk about it's taco time is just a straight to video version of taco john's if you ask me i am true i feel like taco time's like sort of a prestige version of version of taco john's if you ask me i am true i feel like taco time's like sort of a prestige version of like to taco john's like sort of network sitcom i'm sick of losing friends man stop don't be the next one i don't want you on that list taco john it's like it's like a prison cafeteria where they only have limited ingredients to work with every week we got we got 40 pounds of

potatoes and one big tortilla that we're kind of just cutting up into strips. This is what came in this week. 40% beef, 20% salt, 15 pure concentrated power of I'd be unemployed otherwise.

I get it. It's a good jam. Sean S. Jordan, by the way, is on the Legion of Zoom, running through the Temple of Zoom. Everyone should know he's recording with a gigantic, gigantic Zoom background of Shane Siramont Torres behind him. It's huge. Yeah, dude.

What do you think gets me up? And you're kind of like leaning out of the frame so it's mostly of course i'm ducking so you guys can see shane i'm channeling it well absolutely go ahead he does look like uh the rocks character from moana in this photo yeah he does and that's not an insult like he looks like no the the yeah that guy from moana that's the nicest thing anybody's said about i just i'm having so much fun with uh this virtual background it's just it's such a treat i just figured it out like two days ago even though we've been doing this for a while i was gonna say you're having the fun everybody else had eight weeks ago you guys heard about pogs wait till you see tiger king sean Say you're having the fun everybody else had eight weeks ago.

You guys heard about pogs? Wait till you see Tiger King, Sean. I'm too busy rewatching Underworld. That just came on Netflix. Oh, little heads up above the rim is on Netflix. So just watch your back. Everybody needs to know. You know, you've said that the last four times I've fucking talked to you.

I'll keep saying it. It's because I think you really want to know you know you've said that the last four times i've fucking talked to you i'll keep saying it because i think you really want to know there's not like a lot to talk about right now that's like the like that's like the regular times version of a president getting assassinated i got some sweatpants yesterday wow I've never had sweatpants in my whole life. It changed the whole game. How have you, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, never... You had silk shirts as a boy, cross-color Africa pendants, but you've never had sweatpants. I had warm-up pants. I always had swooshy pants. I never had full-on sweatpants before.

Now I have full-on sweatpants. Did you say sushi pants? Sw swooshy pants i never had full-on sweatpants before now i have full-on sweatpants did you say sushi pants swooshy pants no doubt though just those big ass sushi chef pants as a boy just wraps just i was i went literal with like a seaweed wrap on the legs oh i was thinking of pants made of like sushi rolls i feel like that's what they call shane when he steals all the seafood from a china buffet what do they call them sushi rolls sushi pants he texted me the the after the last one came out and said that we gave it to him a little pretty hard and i don't even remember what we said about shane in the last episode that he's amazing by his album by his

out and that's yeah whatever we said i know that sean did it yeah it was definitely sean did not it was a hundred percent sean you're a fire starter twisted fire starter and maybe a bully fucking instigator oh now it's an icp background sean jordan what do you have anything that people can fuck with you on in the meantime i mean they should buy your album as well for god's sake for the love of pete you can fuck with me on the streets i'll tell you that i'm right out front doing kickflips anytime anytime you want to test me i'm all of you right I mean, they should buy your album as well, for God's sake. For the love of Pete. You can fuck with me on the streets, I'll tell you that. I'm right out front doing kickflips. Anytime you want to test me, I'm all of you right out front doing kickflips. Go on, test me.

Go on, test me on the front. No, no. It's cool that Chet Hayes opened that up for all of us white guys to be able to do that accent. Did he? Did he open it up? Is that what you think happened? You didn't hear? Yeah, he opened it up yeah is that is that how you is that what you think happened tom hanks's kid made it okay to do reggae voice yeah i've been waiting i've been waiting for this day i wish somebody would have told me

he's one of the first major civil rights victories of the 2010s. 2020s, actually. Yeah, he's a bummer. The phrase is one love, not one love just for a specific group of people. So exactly. Exactly. Open it up. So, Sean, by your album, the buck starts here. Yeah, the buck starts here.

Go for it. Give it a spin. It's dank. Be cool. Have fun. Smile. You know, fun stuff. I miss you guys. i miss you too i really do i've had shane out bike riding with me man he's doing well i gotta give props to shade he's he got a bicycle here in los angeles that's right he he's got to walk up the hills

but he's still out doing it he's out doing it he's got a bike he's i talked walk up the hills, but he's still out doing it. He's out doing it. He's got a bike. I talked to him the other day. He seems all right. I'm hoping this leads to a full L.A. Jane. That would be amazing. I think it will. I'm dropping hints. David Borey, also in the Temple of Zoom.

David, how are you? CoolGodJokes77 on Instagram, the GS Island on Twitter. I'm doing good. But, you know, Above the Rim is on Netflix. It is, bro. you should check it out. Yeah, I heard that. So, you know, other than that, I'm chilling, man. I don't know.

Beautiful. How's the townhouse in the valley? It's chill. I, you know, I'm in here. What do you want from me? I do. I do three things every day. I ride my exercise bike i smoke weed

i've watched every 30 for 30 they ever made it's not it's going fine you got a staircase in your residence that's impressive man yeah that's uh it's really the one thing i have going for me during these troubles that's what i would make i would make it my background too like yeah i got two levels check it out sometimes i just sometimes i just sit on the stairs and look out i got two levels too violent jay and shaggy two dope they're right in my background you got an angel you got a devil on one shoulder and a devil on the other dude that's what's going on with you doing bad shit bro uh we also have kyle canane on the zoom kyle canane on twitter and i think it's kyle canane on instagram as well is that right

yeah i got a like claim to my name across the social media boards i got lucky that's right cross platform nobody's coming in trying to sneak away no fake canines no keep an eye out for the uh for the blue ribbon keep an eye out for the blue ribbon how are how are you doing during all this uh i love it it's so i know you've been prepping for years it's so great i've been threatening semi-retirement i got i got all these hobbies i live i just live like tom hanks in big like i just have everything you wanted as a 13 year old i already had i'm looking at i got electronic drums i got remote control cars uh got weed and booze games. Wait, you got remote control cards? And then I got a girlfriend who's here, too.

So then if I want to do adult stuff, like look at her boobs, I can just do that. Like, everything's great. Everything's great. Damn, Gina. Everything's just the best. It's all happening for you. I'm going to be bummed out when this ends. I'm like earnestly enjoying it.

I'm not hitting it anywhere as near as much as like I think I'm supposed to. I'm like, this is fine. I go for a walk. I need a walk at night. And then my life is pretty much how I would spend a Saturday and Sunday. Anyway, I don't feel the same. I need out. I need the streets. I can't.

I'm just in here, man. I'm just fucking in here. I mean, and I need the streets. I can't, I'm just in here, man. I'm just fucking in here. I mean, and I should like full disclosure. Also, I'm not like sweating work coming up. Like I did a good job of saving. So I don't have that panic that other people have.

So I don't want to just be like, why isn't everybody having the best time? I realized there's legit fear of income and things like that i was like oh yeah i just was like oh no i better save this money because i'm a comedian and that's not a real job anyway that is the thing like a year ago even like if let's say that well year and a half ago i would have been completely fucked so i definitely understand the people that are freaking out but uh yeah i'm with you man i just been skateboarding kyle you sparked that by the way you did a heel flip or something like the first day of this and i was like well i'm skating again yeah i fell on my ass in my garage and was like i you know what

i don't need is a trip to the er so let's put that thing to the side i'm glad i could i inspire if i can inspire you to uh skateboard maybe i can inspire you to just cut your steak individual bites as you eat it instead of all at once. Maybe I can get you to do that, too. You're lucky I can't come over, dude. Instead of eating your meat like a toothless baby. Can I, would you try reading a book to see if it has a trickle-down effect? Kyle's talking about the popular just steak pudding that we had that we feed to all of our children in south dakota hey

sean i'm gonna be doing some basic times tables over on instagram live later if you want to drop in no uh remember you said no remember i was gonna make a real a cheap burn about using deodorant but i've been pushing the limits of body odor myself over here so it's a time to experiment yeah dude rachel's rachel will be like you ruined a whole room like that's jesus i'll fuck up half the apartment on a three-day bender. I love it. Dude, I saw Postmates Robot the other day. What?

Have you seen one of those yet? I thought that was just like a theory. They're out? No. I was out riding my bike. Mask was on. All right. Out riding the bike with Shane.

With Shane and Rachel. We're on like sunset in west hollywood and it was just cruising down the sidewalk it looked like a somebody chopped a mailbox in half so squat set postmates on the front of it and it was just cruising down the sidewalk fuck man that's fucked up that's gnarly a little robot full of snacks i don't like that we got to get some teens to knock that over. Well, it's only a matter of time. Yeah, if I was a teen right now, that's all I would be going for.

Oh. I hate that the future has progressed in such a way that a tiny robot full of snacks registers to me as evil. Like, when I was a kid, if you were like, yeah, there's robots full of snacks, I would have been so happy. I thought that's where we were going, to be honest. If you told me that when I was a kid i thought that was the goal i'd be like yeah yeah okay we're on point just when the when when the when the when the lyric comes out about jacking postmates robots i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait it will be a rapper from buffalo that That's what we know. I'm stealing dinner from grandma. That's what I'm doing. I'm stealing somebody's shame Taco Bell. You're not going to call it in.

Nope. You're ashamed you ordered it in the first place. Somebody was bitching about how Postmates gets ripped off as a driver, and then they're going to drive by that robot and go, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Yeah, that's the thing. I hate to be the guy to say this, but they're taking our jobs. Oh, get them.

Get them, dude. No, that's all I got. That's the robot. Is there a slur for robots yet that you can say, like in mixed company? Damn, dude. Well, I can't say it. I mean, I know the word, but it's not for me to repeat, you know?

My dad says it all the time, but I can't say it. These are of a different generation. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish postmates robot app energizer bunnies that's the slur for robots yeah these fucking egs or ebs i mean oh yeah that fits that fits the rhyme scheme damn yeah i used to be able to take my kids to that park my daughter came home with a goddamn EB. I don't know what to do.

God, this is gnarly. You know they steal. Property values are just plummeting. This is a weird time to drop this plug in, but I actually have something to plug you guys. Enough of the robot racism. Ian's got something to say. On May 27th on CBS,

the show I was in, Game On, is premiering, which is like kind of an adult version of Legends of the hidden temple combined with me going out and like trying to dance with the laker girls or kick a field goal to rams game it's me venus williams rob gronkowski and of course the next name is comedian bobby lee of course and uh hosted by keegan michael key on cbs uh tune in please tune in it's gonna be it's gonna be wild fun proper bruv hell yeah that's sick man and i did i missed it what girls were you dancing with again liquor girls

can i ask when you did that obviously that was during a game right it was it was right before a game yeah what was the audience like on board with it packed in or no it might have been a half time yeah because it was like gronk and venus williams and james corden was one of the other people dancing um and then like a big, a big, happy fat guy. So like, it's, I mean, there was nothing to not like. Well, cause I always want, like, you know, when they're doing like a giant, like a whatever movie about a rock band, but they need to get a scene in front of a huge stadium. A lot of times it's digital, but then other times I think they've like snuck people on

stage to get the shot at a different band's concert. Like, oh. Oh, like in A Star is Born, they for sure did that. Did they? And I wonder if the audience is just like, fuck you! Like a whole stadium just screaming at Matt Damon or something like, suck our dicks! Bring on the Scorpions! Where the fuck is Dave Mustaine?

Like that should get its own Oscar for being like, Thanks for coming out tonight, everybody! Fuck you! I'll fucking kill your family! Oh man, I can't do it without the fans. I love you guys so much. Like, I want to see the raw footage, I want to see the raw footage. I want to see the raw footage. That's why I was wondering if, like, you kicking the field goal.

Because I saw the pictures earlier when you were putting them out. I'm like, I wonder if people were like, yeah, fucking bring your disgrace to the uniform. That one, they were a little more angry. That one, they were definitely. Also, I was wearing, like, one of the better players' jersey numbers. Oh, really? I was just, yeah. They're like, you're not Todd Gurley, you fat piece of shit.

I'm like, I'm clearly not Todd Gurley. What gave it away, huh? He's like a 24-year-old chiseled black dude with dreadlocks. Can't say anything over these NFL fans. Football fans are smart. About as sharp as a marble, my dad would have said. And then I went out, not to give anything away, but I missed both field goals when I tried to kick it.

I didn't even hit. Both of them hit the fucking crossbar. They both, like, bonked off. Oh, man. You don't want to bonk. No spoilers. You're going to lose viewers. Oh, shit.

Sorry. Probably also people are going to be gambling on this in Vegas because there's no sports. So that's all just joking. Just spinning a yarn like I like to. Yeah, you do. You're good for that. But May 27th on CBS. Please watch it.

Please tell your friends to watch it. I would like to continue doing that thing because, you know, it's fun to have people tell you you're not Todd Gurley on some level. I'll tell you forever. Yeah, we can all chip in. I'll let you know. You ever get too big, I'll be like, hey, what do you think you are, Todd Gurley? You wait in line like everybody else.

You ain't Todd Gurley. You ain't even a girl. You prick. You prick, motherfucker. Todd Boyley. Frickin' prick. Kick your ass. Todd with one D. everybody else you ain't even a girl you you prick motherfucking todd boyley freaking prick kick your ass todd with one d you ever meet those todds with one d's it's crazy yeah i just like calling somebody a half a todd it is half a half a todd man yeah i'm todd with one d but extreme with three x's so it makes up

for it you know what i mean speaking of three x's i was listening to bubba sparks the other day he still got it or he doesn't still got it but like those songs go man i saw that and i didn't want to get in because i i get so angry about it that guy is really uh underrated yeah his first album was like real good bubba sparks bubba sparks i was waiting for that question mark at the end of that bubba was this like early 2000s david right around that his first his first album i think even before that it was like 99 probably the one with ugly yeah yeah that one was like probably 98 99 he was like a white hick like fat rapper and but that was like sort of his angle you know like how there was a while there were rappers were like wrestlers

and they had angles and shit like that this big hit Olive Garden to go he's the first he's the first guy I ever heard say booty chatter I had the last guy too though is that farts I don't know uh i think it's just

bullshit he said y'all been bullshitting spitting that booty chatter i'm here for two days and came with something that truly matters he was great man that guy was so great he calls his chicks betties and his shits grumpy yo my high school football team we had our our our football like sweatshirts that we bought one year said get grumpy because we told our coach about that and he started calling shits grumpies all right my brother before bubba sparks came out called taking the shit taking a grumpy was that just a term we didn't know about i think it was a term we didn't know about i heard growler call him taking a growler oh i'm taking a growler i like that yeah growler's good yeah grumpy bear blaylock throwing grumpy out there man or maybe he was just a huge bubba sparks fan just like the underground

yeah he liked him before he got on the mixtapes he put timberland on to bubba yeah bears got it like that dude ear to the street um now we're gathering here today not only to talk about my older brother robert blaylock but also but also if you can believe it to draft old people who can kick our ass hell yeah it's that kind of podcast sean it's that kind of podcast now shit fuck uh now uh the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the three of you

and we throw on shoot so go ahead and turn your video screens on all right here we go rock paper scissors shoot hell yeah hell yeah fuck you Hell yeah. David wins. Hell yeah. Fuck you, David. Video back up. Fuck you.

That's cold blooded. Going back to the fango factory? I don't even want to see your face. Is that like how you get in a fight? That's how you do it now instead of turning my back on you? Video off. Did you ever piss your parents off so much like, I don't even want to look at you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But you made me. I'm you. I'm part of of you it came from your loins you'll never not see me i pissed my dad off so bad the day i was born that he took off until i was 12 i don't laugh at my own jokes a lot but that was funny you laughing at it makes it okay for me to laugh at it that's what I like just coming out all cross eyed like god damn it this one's mine

put him back in he's not done his eyes are all wonky they're floating around like it's a fishbowl the little bastard's got jaundice. His legs ain't strong enough to find me yet. If I start out now, I could hit the state line by nightfall. Kid's already addicted to gambling. Get him out of here.

I don't need it. I'm not splitting my whiskey with this piece of shit. Oh, man. That might go into the old that might go into the old act boys oh you put it in there put her in there stand up is over oh man yeah it is it's all about zoom calls now yeah i love it comedy now i i'm gonna become one of those people who does front facing uh character videos uh get get two angles you need two angles that's what sells it no matter how shitty the character if two angles come in yeah so i can turn i can do my jim halpert turn to the camera uh what if i was like oh my god this is my impression of an australian guy who's not sure

about stuff oh no yeah and that's it and like i know you were trying to make fun of five million views i know you were trying to make fun of it. Five million views. I know you were trying to make fun of it, but, like, I'm in. I'm into that character. That's a good one, actually. Okay. Well, I got plenty more where that came from. I got an iPhone and an old iPhone. Quibi, look out.

Here I come. I got your quick bites. You don't want the whole meal. There is Caleb Huron. Caleb Huron. I don't know how to pronounce his last name because I've only known him from online. caleb h-e-a-r-o-n here in whatever he's a really funny one caleb says things they're not all they're not all bad he's fucking hilarious i don't watch shit on the phone oh it's not that's not on quibi that's just like on instagram i don't even

it's like i don't i i'm not fucking with phones for comedy my phone that's why i won't watch quibi is because like my phone is my thing to look at while i'm watching something else listen i'm on quibi and i'll tell you that shit sucks or i don't know maybe it isn't coming upon you to determine the order of today's draft uh before you do that i would like to remind you it is a serpentine draft and what does that mean great question pretty straight to the point aren't we uh it's sort of like ox turning if you're not familiar with ox turning oh so you are familiar i guess i'll just go fuck myself then you already know how it works sort of like ox turning david you dimwit I figured after 191 of these, you might get it.

It's a form of text where instead of reading left to right and then going down and reading left to right again, you read left to right and then go down and you read right to left, go down, read left to right, and then go down and read right to left. So it's, yeah, it's just kind of back and forth, down a line each time. And that right there is pretty much a perfect serpentine draft. No, good, good, relatable, relatable one, Sean. Why are you sticking it to me, bud? You don't miss me like I miss you?

Where the devil is Ox turning from? I've never heard of that before. What the fuck are you talking about? Just fucking gibberish. What the fuck was that? Ox turning? Wow. this fucking gibberish what the fuck was that wow david's like my brother and this is how he talks yeah you're my dumb ass brother what is ox what the fuck are you talking about i just explained what it is where did you hear that

who taught you that it's very funny to call you dave dave dave dave dave i'm gonna need you to turn it down a little bit but give us can you just give us one minute on how you discovered ox turning uh i can give you less than a minute okay twitter twitter oh was someone like here did someone tweet you like hey here's a way to explain the draft? They did. You fucking piece of shit. I didn't want you guys to pull it out of me, you assholes. I was just hoping for one. I'm not the most voracious reader in the world, but I've read my fair share of books.

Somewhere between 10 and 15. Why are you lying to everybody? You are the most voracious reader in the world. That's very common. Very commonly. First line of your wiki page. That's true. You're a Carmel comedian. Most voracious reader in the world.

I've never heard of that kind of reading. I hadn't either. Somebody just randomly tweeted it yesterday, maybe. And I was like, tight. Thank you. Why would you?

What gets read? Yeah. What do we? Literature, Kyle. Okay. thank you why would you what gets read yeah what do we uh literature kyle okay the arrogance that that came out the written word sorry dumb dumb i thought you graduated college but i guess it's just me two years is gonna have to do on this one literature i don't know the but the bible and the Constitution? Jackass?

Those weren't written. Those were forged. Foundational documents, alright? Foundational documents. Ox turning sounds like something that Orthodox Jews are still clinging on to for some reason because it was big in the 1600s. Do you know the way that Orthodox Jews... This is like, as a

Jew, this always upsets me like i'm not going where you want me to go on this no you can stay i'll walk out i'll do this yeah you i'll walk under this lake alone you take this out into the street oh you want to bitch about them jews i'll dance with you i'll dance all night i've had this ticket in my wallet for about 10 years buddy they all just dress like they do because that was like the style in like the 1800s and then they just for some reason decided to lock that into place so they're like metal heads at one point like the dopest thing you could have was a giant boxy fur hat and like a

wife who always wears a wig and like a long hot coat even though you either live in the desert or la and like they're just long-term crocus fans they found something that worked and then have locked in for like 300 years it's wild to me I guess I kind of respect it on some level. Yeah, that's what I did with shorts, so I get it. Yeah, true. David, now that you know how a serpentine draft works, it's like Ox-Turning. Yeah, of course. I think we all know and understand.

What will the order of today's draft be? Let's go me, Kyle, Sean, Ian. Hot corner. Uh, let's go me, Kyle, Sean, Ian. Hot corner. David, Kyle, Sean, Jordan, Sean, Patrick, Jordan, Ian. Didn't mean to ruin your day, David. Sorry.

Well, you did. That was another one tomorrow. You'll be all right. Yeah. I'm probably going to do the exact same fucking thing. Oh, above the rim is on Netflix, by the way. Speaking of another day oh man i'll pull it out of the gutter if we were in the same room together i've never seen i've never seen above

the rim so this is good information i'll get out of town really do you have to see below the rim to for it to make sense or can you just jump right in no you can you don't even have to know who tupac is it's just a solid no because he's playing a character all right let me i'm gonna fuck you sean damn dude you got me all off my fucking square i don't like this damn mental warfare playboy i'm out here you better get back on your square because you have the first pick which we are going to get to right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by babble uh if you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country, you figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason

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And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co. That's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy. And we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. Everything. The only podcast that has ever existed! Other than, of course, Boogie Monsters. Those are the two.

Well, a lot of people don't think the Boogie Monster podcast really exists. There's a lot of conspiracies about it. There are. There's two sides. There's definitely... It's a conversation. There's no proof, just a lot of hearsay. I think the explosion started at the bottom, so I believe in the boogie monster podcast as well but that's just me tower seven and i believe that all that started at the top so i also believe in the boogie monster do you give a fuck who's at the bottom no way dude i'm working my way down like a reverse donkey kong situation uh so david donkey kong is also how this draft is working it's kind of it's a reverse donkey kong donkey kong is actually a good way to explain it perhaps we'll stop maybe

i'll use that next and perhaps more relatable than ox turning i'm not sure i don't know i'm not out in the world you do know don't do that go spend go spend a day at the university of south dakota you'll know all about oxford i that's Oxford. That's how long it takes to get a bachelor's from that college, by the way. That's just the walk from the admissions building to the one classroom. It's a bunker. Hey, is that January Jones? She's boring to look at. There's your doctorate.

Well, it ain't Brock Lesnar, I'll tell you that. Is he from there, too? He's from Mitchell. Two specimens of the Aryan race. Those are two humanity starter kits, those two people. We just put them in the seed vault. You could just drop them into any environment and then there would be like a civilization there within three generations. It would be a simple civilization, but it would be a civilization.

A simplization. How am I supposed to eat this steak without somebody cutting it into tiny pieces first starvation wiped it out when somebody dropped a whole steak keep keep bumping those gums boys keep bumping those gums while i'm about a thousand miles away lesnar's just punching out cattle but doesn't know what to do afterwards because he's going to chew it the only time he ate is when he punched one so hard it exploded. Oh, man. Oh, boy.

Okay. We have to do the draft. David, you have the first pick in the old people who can still kick our ass all fantasy everything draft and uh with that first pick you will be taking i'm taking it 66 years old i'm taking jackie chan damn yeah yeah obvious reasons i think he could write like today he's 66 yeah i think he could i think he could write like today. He's 66. Yeah. I think he could. I think he could be like a week into COVID infection and still really give it to me. Oh, for sure. He could be.

He could have one working limb and still give it to any one of us. He's quick. You see, I'm not entirely sure there isn't a scene where he's lying in a hospital bed and just beat somebody up with one arm. Yeah. Yeah. Just like off the gurney like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Firmly. He was. It was fun looking up the ages on these fools he does not look 66 have you ever sang have you ever seen him sing what it's hilarious there's like a he got weirdly into singing there's like all right there's a clip of him on YouTube, like singing that Mulan song. Oh, no. None of you guys are doing that in quarantine. Okay. Fuck me. All right.

Watching Mulan or watching Jackie Chan clips? I was listening. You know the main Mulan song that everybody loves? Don't make me do this. I'm not making you do that. Mulan is maybe. I don't know the Mulan song. I have a loose grip be a man you must be there's a raging fire be a man with all the force of a great typhoon

be a man you don't you guys remember that no i don't okay but ox turning goes i'm a fucking asshole you wipe your ass with ox turning so knock it off i'm i'm legit worried for david i think we do need to get you out of that town i'm fucking in here by myself feeling shit man i'm fucking feeling shit you're sounding cooped it's fucking dark in here i haven't turned on the lights in a week storming up and down your staircase and forget then forget your chapstick doing it again downstairs god damn it mother i got money i should have two chapsticks i should have upstairs chapstick downstairs chapstick why am i living like this i gotta write that down i gotta write that down oh i got balm for every room dude that's a good move that's the dream that's what we're all

working towards is a balm for every room i got safety balms hidden everywhere but also never more than five feet from a bomb but seriously just, just Google Jackie Chan. Just Google Jackie Chan sings. I did. On his Wikipedia page, there is like a musical career. Yeah. Sort of section. It didn't take in the US. It just didn't hold up.

We weren't having that, but over there, he was doing it. I do love that hong kong loved jackie chan so much that they were like what else do you have we'll take all of it well that's what i want that's i would rather be i would rather be famous and could do everything in another country than do one thing in america like stefan marbury in china he he's in a musical about his own life. Yeah, there's a gold statue of him somewhere. Yeah, that's way cool.

As a citizen, if you don't support whoever the government tells you to like, they make you disappear. That's why they're famous. That's why Jackie Chan can have a singing career. If anybody in China is like, I don't think he's that great of a singer, you're erased from the continent. Alright, keep it light, Kyle. like i don't think he's that great of a singer you're erased from the continent all right keep it light kyle i'm sorry we crossed over into boogie monster all of a sudden sorry i'm sorry

i didn't know you guys didn't enjoy the truth on all fantasy everything it should make sense john fantasy everything not all truth everything it's not called Rude Awakening Cry All Day Everything. China's a pretty big sponsor. China and Ridge Wallets. Bring you all fantasy everything every week. China and feels. Top five great leaders of all time. Who do we got? Mao Zedong, number one, probably.

I'm sticking with my pick. Jackie Chan, number two adam vinatieri a kicker led the team who would have thought that what the fuck god damn it sean there's a colon in there somewhere you gotta figure out where it's a think piece that's what i don't think you know what that is i think i do there's a colon in there somewhere i have a doctor from the university of south dakota what's your doctor doing fox turning there's a colon in there somewhere boys root around we'll find it he's gotta jackie i saw a uh there was a because they're showing south korean baseball on espn now because they're like back to normal or back to normalish they're playing baseball and uh like there was

just like a big fat comedian selling pizzas like oh like oh in the outfield i saw that in the outfield like print board like all over i'm like i would love to be the big fat comedian selling pizzas in south korea you could that would be a beautiful life. You could do that in South Dakota. Yeah, that's true. Baseball games in South Korea. I've actually been to a couple of them. They are a blast. Instead of hot dogs, it's just fried chicken.

Really? Fried chicken. Huge. Huge chickens? Just buckets of chicken. Just get a bucket of chicken and sit and watch baseball everybody's getting shithoused they do like the chug contest and it's always some 95 pound like timid korean gal like oh i shouldn't oh i couldn't what about honor versus shame and then she's just

got a gallon of beer down her face within two seconds. That's a good time, man. They have a good time at those baseball games. I think we take this whole operation to South Korea at some point. I've been trying to soft pitch this for months. I'm in. I'm in tomorrow. I'll go. Talk to my people.

All right, cool. We'll work this all out. Jackie Chan, excellent pick. Could definitely kick all of our asses. Although that's a hard 66. I will say that. What do you mean? You know, like he's like been like probably like none of us have ever legs broken with a ladder that we were supposed to jump over.

But he for sure. Yeah. But he's also so used to the violence at this point. He's callous to it. You know what I mean? But can I ask, do you think he could kick your ass or do you think he's been taught in restraint so much he wouldn't know how to unlock the violent potential? I think that's what I kept. I didn't want to get confused with my picks about people who pretend to be bad asses versus people who could maybe actually kick your ass.

I think that he is so athletic and physical. I think he yeah, I think he could straight up kick my ass. Yeah, I do too. He could take a punch. Yeah, he could take a punch. That's the thing. He could play up kick my ass. Yeah, I do too. He could take a punch. Yeah, he could take a punch. That's the thing. He could play a lot of defense. You wear yourself out.

He knows how to get hurt. I don't know how many times I'm going to be punching Jackie Chan. I feel like he's so swift. He's quick. He's so quick, and quickness will win in so many situations. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I say that to people at Starbucksbucks i just say that to people a master of wushu it would be funny if he was so well trained that he would try to punch you but like always just come up like half an inch short like every single time like when you try to punch

somebody in a dream and it always just stops you you know? I hate that. Or like it feels like you're punching underwater, but you can't punch hard. I hate that shit. I do, but I think that he would just go the full inch and connect. I don't think he'd have any. Okay. I don't think he'd have any problems. I don't think it would be tough. Jackie Chan.

Kyle, time for your first pick. Old people who could kick our ass, though. All right. I went with some wild cards. I'm going to say 71 years old. Actually, is today May 9th? Happy birthday. Happy 71st birthday to Billy Joel.

He wasn't a gang. Billy Joel would kick your ass. He wasn't a gang. He was like a high school dropout, street tough. Yeah. Just drinks and drives. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes he's married to a supermodel. Other times he's not. I think he would just like even at 71 and you're like, if you asked him to play piano man twice in a row, he'd just punch you in your face. I bet. Yeah. He'd like smash a pitcher over your head. Yeah. Yeah.

He'd be a fair fight at 71. Yeah. Because he would be willing to do what it takes. You know what I mean? That's exactly. He's already got, you know, crowns or whatever they call fake teeth. He'll get new ones. Yeah.

He doesn't give a shit. No. So that's that's my pick. I think I think he might be, you you know a wild one coming in they're like fuck yeah billy joel i'll fight a dude oh yeah and i've i honestly i was thinking about the life that someone's lived because that would go into the level of confidence they have in a fight and he would be full of confidence oh yeah he's like lived for car wrecks that were his fault and like all that shit absolutely several cars he was born in the bronx

crashed several cars he was born in the bronx the bronx one of the few places in america that has a the in front of it he's a tough guy he calls his fist oliver and company you remember that he's probably had the lid to some pianos keys smashed down on his hands. Definitely. He's owed people money. He's lived with fear. He looks like he could take a punch, too. Just that part of his forehead that he's been bothering.

He just looks like he could absorb a lot. What were the humans before we were called humans? Like Cro-Magnon? He's got one of those heads. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's not trying to stay pretty, you know? He's not trying to stay pretty.

Head's harder than Chinese algebra, man. Again, AFE brought to you by China. It's not hard for them. It has a slogan for everything. It's not hard for them. billy joel i wonder who's the i guess ed sheeran is like an ugly pop star right like i'm not gonna i'm not i'm not saying like they're both i mean they're both kind of ugly guys right billy joel is billy joel ugly he's one of those guys i can't tell he's kind of ugly he's not pretty watch the uptown girl you that's when he was in his prime and you're like talent's gonna shine through on billy joel billy joel just as like a dude you'd be like no dice

but yeah oh look at that guy playing and singing and having a good time right as a musician i'm into him him and elton john tour together and two of like the least likely, just as far as visuals go, pop stars like ever Elton John, like looks like an old, like grandma and has like for most of his career, I'm looking at pictures of Billy Joel and he actually looks worse when he was younger. That's how, you know,

he's a tough guy. Yeah. Yeah. Those car accidents really put things back in their place. Oh, my liver works again. Oh, wow. Last one actually straightened my nose out.

But not my act. I'm going to go beat the shit out of people. Sean, time for your first pick. My first pick coming in at a gentleman's 75 years old. I'm choosing Sam Elliott. Oh, that's a good one. I think Sam could beat the tar out of me, and I don't care what situation we're in.

He has more confidence than I'll ever have in my life, no matter what happens. Does he or does he have a deep voice? Like, I don't know. That guy might get sad. Sam Elliott. I think Sam...

Well, yeah, he's got the confidence to get sad and still do it. I just think he's gnarly. In it. I just think he's gnarly. In real life, I think he's gnarly. Any reason? No, I just do. Oh, okay. Yeah, he just seems like a gnarly-ass dude.

He kind of reminds me of my dad, who I know for a fact was gnarly. So that might have something to do with it. He is from Sacramento. Sacramento. Sacramento's buck. Sacramento's buck is shit. Everybody thinks Northern California is all about the fog rolling in, riding streetcars. sacramento sacramento's buck sacramento's buck is shit everybody everybody thinks northern california is all about the fog rolling in riding streetcars sacramento is a different place oh

guess where he lived in his teenage years though oh portland oregon yes sir that's right he went to david douglas high school with well not with he's older but said the same high school my mom went to wow that's pretty dank. And she will beat anyone's ass. I'm well aware of that. She's not old, so it doesn't count. That's a fact. What if his mustache is fake?

Oh, God. That would fucking hurt. That would hurt. What if the voice in the mustache is just all like, I was trying out for a role back in 72. They needed me. Really dirty it up. I don't sound like this none at all.

Ooh. Whoa. What if he sounds like Billy Joel? It's going to be hard to finish this with a huge boner, but I'm going to try. I ain't a fan of looking like this none at all. They glue this on to me up and over makeup and wardrobe. Come in here wearing sweatpants. I have a specific kind of alopecia that makes it impossible for me to grow my own facial hair.

Oh, man. Y'all got any of them lavender lattes with the oat milk? Oh, man. Y'all got any of them lavender lattes with the oat milk? Time for my first pick. You picked Sam Elliott. With my first pick, I'm going to take a man who is 84 years old. I know. Which might be.

I think I know who you're going to pick. Might be the oldest person on this list. I am taking someone who was an actor, but before that, he was perhaps the greatest running back in the history of the NFL. He was on my list. And before that, an amazing lacrosse player. I'm taking Jim Brown. Yeah, he was on my list, too. I was thinking about taking him on my list.

All right. No questions. From the Dirty Dozen and the Cleveland Browns, right? Yeah. Just to fucking. Jim Brown will beat the shit out of you. Yeah, Jim Brown is gnarly, dude. Gnarly dude gnarly jim brown will beat the shit out of

you like he's trying to find like like like his dad's gonna come back you know what i mean like like a like an at-risk teen he'll beat the shit out of you like an at-risk youth like whatever he's looking for is hidden inside your skull yeah like that guy i feel like he wouldn't even just punch you i feel like jim brown would like slam your face against a parking meter you know it'd be like bad stuff he doesn't have arms he has two he has sledgehammers with elbows dude yeah like like it's just like really violent and quick it'd be like you would do unnecessary things like dude you won the fight yeah but i want to win win you're like what you don't need to win win you got it like even as like an old dude he looks like he like

you know what some bald guys, like, it looks like their skulls have muscles? Like, you know what I mean? Like tectonic plates that are shifting under the skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got those. He's just a fucking tough-looking motherfucker. He's big.

He probably still shakes your hand to hurt you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's putting the squeeze on. He's also an amazing he's an amazing dude too big like uh very involved in like the civil rights stuff uh fucking amazing football player and just someone who could beat the shit out of me in 84 for some reason i feel like he would have brass knuckles too oh absolutely like it would be like it would escalate so much quicker than you thought it was like oh yeah fuck you

and then they're out and then the knucks are out and now you gotta like deal with that he'd say some like tough old guy thing to you you know what i mean like i've been eating apple jacks i've been eating apple jacks oh that's for sure how it would go i've been eating apple jacks hold on excuse me what bam and then the brass right in your teeth i just wanted to find out why about the cereal and then frankly he sucker punched me i wasn't even i wasn't even curious to fight because he started talking about breakfast and then okay so you got peacock legs huh what and then bam just give it jim jim it's not even about that oh man i've been eating apple jacks smashed oh that's sick uh so yeah nfl nfl legend jim brown So yeah, NFL legend Jim Brown. Yeah. I'm going to take.

And then another person, I'm going to take Pat Riley, who's 75 years old. Yeah. I feel like he looks amazing. I feel like Pat Riley would use a weapon too, but like a screwdriver, like some shit he just got from the garage. Can I go off on a tangent? I want to ask earlier why is it brass knuckles i don't want to sound like seinfeld here why is it always brass knuckles oh man uh fucking pat riley though new york born and bred fucking tough dude i feel like he'd like

like he knows probably like a little bit of martial arts because he lived in la in the 80s you know probably like yeah you you either got into cocaine or you got into karate back then you got into both you got into yeah it was a package deal you ox turned on the cocaine he'd like i feel like he'd punch you and you you didn't even know until that moment that you were in a fight you know oh like he'd be really nice to you and then like yeah beat the shit up quick turn like your mom at the grocery store just a quick rap on the mouth let you know you're getting out of hand exactly just a switch that gets flipped it's like you know it's funny uh he's like walking around a desk to talk to you like you know i'm glad you came into the office today um it's it's um

heard you out gonna gonna you know meditate on those on those uh things you brought up and bam like right in the kisser like that kind of thing like get the fuck out of my office you're like oh shit you didn't even know it was bad until then you were kind of feeling your tricks yeah he tricks you he'd do it with a high linen pants on too like you know be humili with high linen pants on too. Like, you know, it'd be humiliating. High linen pants. That's what you graduate to after being involved in martial arts in the 80s. There's a comfortable slack that's still functional. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's got like enough room that if you need to roundhouse someone, if you need to. Like those Chuck Norris jeans with the diamond cut right under the crotch. So in case you had to high kick somebody, but you still want to look like. Well, yeah, you don't want to blow your shit out you still got to go to dinner afterwards that's the funniest reason to put that in my wife told me if I blow out the crotch of my pants

one more time high kicking before we go to Buca di Beppo she's gonna fucking leave me cause she can't go sitting over at Buca di Beppo with my balls hanging out of another pair of Levi's. Olive Garden says I live in soup and salad, but they say your cock and balls just dangling right through your leaves.

They don't come to the table as often as you want. We had to get it to go last time. Like, trash. They said one more time they're gonna call me Charles Norris for the rest of my life. I can't have that. It's not Macaroni Grill, for God's sake. They have some class there. You cannot have your balls out in a macaroni grill.

Oh, my God. Sean, time for your second pick. Second pick. I'm going 67-year-old Mickey Rourke. Damn, he was on my list too that's a good one mickey rourke could beat the oh my god do you look at his face one look at mickey rourke and you're like damn dude yeah yeah you got me doesn't matter he looks like one of those like in a horror movie when there's like a book that's like stitched together with human skin like that's

what his actual face looks like he looks like one of those ones you keep in the basement that dude's got a face like a family secret mickey rick mickey rourke looks like the ham at the carving station at like one of the cheaper las vegas cafes imagine your boxing name being carving station that's so good that's so good from parts unknown oh i was the poughkeepsie kid until i took a few too many hits to the face. On the carving station. Yeah. Mickey Rourke stank, man. He looks like he just got kicked out of prison.

Kicked out of prison. This guy's just too tough. Get out of here, Rourke. You're a danger to everyone in here. He won. He won prison. We have to let him go. It looks like he was getting a facelift and they dropped his face on the floor.

Yeah. It looks like somebody botched that surgery from face off. Somebody spelled the wrong name on the cake and they tried to wipe it off and rewrite it. That's not going to look right. He looks like he's been actively melting for years. I remember we were watching The Wrestler, me and the girl I was dating at the time, and he took his shirt off and she just goes,

I was like, yeah. Really? Just because of the pecs on display? He was shredded, dude. It was like a fucking marble floor. He was slowly turning into Penny's slowly turning into penny marshall based on this like dude plastic surgery isn't he from miami i don't know i didn't actually look where he's from i know he used to be a boxer he was like a professional boxer back he was a heart he was an actor then he got into boxing i thought because he didn't like he

was like being a pretty boy and he took care of that real quick tk tk owed his career can i in time for your second pick uh all right age 61 oh i bet i know uh i don't know if you do miss uh miss chicone yourself i'm going with madonna oh yeah i think madonna she's stringy and strong i think she's gone through so many phases that she's gone deep into some weird self-defense martial arts ayahuasca but for brutality type journey somewhere absolutely and she'd come at you you wouldn't even know what was going on she'd just be just a flurry of like stringy chicken wing muscles and like weird kabbalah bracelets fly like her arms yeah her arms look like those like the metal rope they use like on anchors on like massive shipping like ships you

know what i mean like she looks like she's strong from like a different time yeah strong when you because you had to be yeah she's like looks working strong yeah like lifting bags of grain and stuff yeah yeah madonna's arms like that's what i imagine life i feel like madonna's arms are what like i picture sting's penis to look like buddy oh god just lumpy and pulsating weird muscles and veins and everything can you imagine having to have like the like tantric sex and you're just like get it over with oh i can't let's go awful yeah eight hours this is supposed to take three minutes thing wants to fuck for the next two and a half weeks

anyway i think madonna i think madonna's tough i think she's but she's put up with a bunch of shit and held her own she's a little kooky now. A little out to lunch now. But I think that even makes her more unpredictable with how she fights. Yeah, that's insane. Straight for the eyes. Fighting style. There wouldn't be one.

You wouldn't even know what to anticipate. Where'd you even get an ice pick, Madonna? Doesn't matter. I got it. God, she started in Bay City, Michigan, too. It's not like she started not tough. You know what I mean? She Detroit, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She Detroit. One name? Yeah. Yeah. michigan too it's not like it's not like she started not tough you know what i mean she detroit yeah yeah yeah she detroit one name yeah yeah good call fucking madonna's dope man it's

time it's time it's time to have a madonna conversation she not i mean not us we're having one right now but like no she got a little a little loopy later on but i did get loopy but she should have gotten loopy like i feel like the kids only know her from like the the loopy later on but i did get loopy but she should have gotten loopy like i feel like the kids only know her from like the the loopy stuff yeah she's an old pop star who keeps doing something different all the time which it's at one point i might have criticized it now it's like you're reinventing yourself you're doing different stuff all the time you probably still go on tour do big giant productions i mean the athleticism alone to do like big shows like that oh yeah i think madonna would i think madonna would take us all out yep that's that's very

some of her weird tries like when she put that ray light album out some of those songs were fucking good man if that stuff comes on i'm not i'm not skipping over it was a great song yeah feel like a disco ball oh yeah i'll put on that one later madonna fuck yeah david time for your second and third picks as it is uh my second pick uh this guy actually is a fighter uh so i don't know if that's fair it's fair it's just like fucking george foreman man oh yeah i had him on my list yeah of course just like get the shit beat out of you by a giant baby looking man his whole thing was that he was mean that's like what they use like he used to just say like i like to hit people in the head yeah so buck getting punched by him would like having like be having like a piano land on you like in a cartoon and it was there's something

that's more demoralizing about uh getting beat by like a cute man you know what i mean like he's so adorable yeah because he does like you said he does look like a baby now like he looks like he should be your grandpa he shouldn't be beating the shit out of you behind a target or whatever happens well again i only know from a smiling fun guy on tv show trying to sell me grills i don't even know him as a boxer oh yeah he was a bad motherfucker dude and he's he's like kind of an idiot or i don't think he's not an idiot he's just like a weird guy like all his kids names are some type of george yeah they're all named george like georgetta and georgie and all that it's just like he's like a he just seems like if you're that good at violence

you just understand the world in a different way than the rest of us do i think you see the world a different way you know or you're dumb as shit because you've been punched in the head a bunch yeah i mean it's 50 50 you've been clobbered about the brain so much you named all your kids george maybe that's maybe that's what happened you forgot your name the last one yeah maybe we don't have let's name this one maybe we don't have to romance the notion that he's gonna forget more than three names so just name all my kids george so i'll be right when i say hey george come here he punched so hard that i feel like if he were around in the 1800s he would have been like an american tall tale you know what i mean oh yeah he's like paul bunyan hard yeah like uh yeah the fucking

snake river canyon was for him when george foreman punched a horse in half and then the he cleared he cleared a forest with his fists he made way for the railroad by punching trees down george foreman lost a poker game so he punched the piece of land that the guy was standing on and that became hawaii yeah george foreman is george foreman great pick and your third pick my third pick and this is like oh man kyle you've been around this guy too i was next to this guy the other day i think he's 71 years old and he's just like is virile the word virile this guy is just like he's 70 but he's like the most healthy 70

uh fucking dennis hazebert man oh dude oh is that the the allstate guy dennis yeah yeah dude i was standing next to him the other day and he's like yo he's so strong he's so strong and his voice is so deep at the voiceover spot yeah he was when i yeah with the weirdo security guard guy who was talking about like punk in the 80s or something. And then Haysbert walked in. Yeah, that guy's weird. No, that was Kyle talking about punk in the 80s. No, it's that guy.

He gets into it. It was me. I still work. Haysbert, doesn't he? But he looks like he's only, like, 45. I've been thinking commercials and stuff. Yeah, he looks really young. He's 71?

Is that what you said? Yeah, but let me double check that's crazy man he no he's 65 my bad okay still old definitely qualifies doesn't he have a legendarily big dick huge hog apparently like they gotta like they gotta like he can't he's he has to move around sometimes like in the all-state commercials because they're like oh we can see your fat hog that's right your rope's swinging too hard your rope's dangling too hard but ironically that dick's so big it's uninsurable it's an onset hazard it's the one thing all state can't guarantee he he's got like gotta get his hips going like a pendulum to walk Onset hazard. It's the one thing Allstate can't guarantee. He's got to get his hips going like a pendulum to walk.

He's also really tall, so you know he's got reach. If he swings side to side, it'll wrap around his waist to touch itself. I think it's like that kind of thing. I mean, it's definitely a shower, though. That's my judgment on Big Dick. This thing grows. It'll knock his shoe off yeah so I'm kicking Dennis the big dick Haysbert excellent pick Dennis Haysbert pile time for your third pick

do they have to be alive I don't know I don't think't that was my question too okay okay cool all right i'm can i i'm gonna pick a group but not as a group i think individually they could do it but as a group the traveling wilburys listen my thinking is that you don't get to like be that like chilled out as an old person unless you know you can handle shit for sure will berries do you think all of them like i don't think bob dylan could kick my ass weirdly the one who's still alive i don't think could kick your ass i don't think he could are they i think i think tom petty could i think roy orbison could sure tom petty orb orbison without a doubt orbison and petty were like the kind of heavy like the heavies in the group yeah yeah george harrison i think if he needed to could come with some like spiritual

more tai chi use your own energy against you type thing right right right um correct me if that's the wrong martial art sean i apologize that's the right one and thank you for acknowledging that i'm a second degree black belt so i appreciate that dave shut the fuck up i got a black belt too okay i got your black belt swinging it says it says budusi dojo on it i know it does i'm so happy you finally got it i've known that forever i have a black belt and on the other side it's brown so you can sort of like flip it depending on what pair of pants you want to wear sure convenient for when you hit the road if i want to come in with without expectation i turn it to the brown

side people don't think i'm as strong as i surprise people yeah i don't know where it's going with that one but i think i think traveling wilburys and then there's some guy in there i don't know who it is yeah he was in like that means like old school studio musician yeah yeah those guys have been in those guys have been in scuffs fighting for studio time oh who's got to pay up here the club owner didn't pay us they've they've scrapped definitely petty's from florida florida guys florida people could fight yeah anyway traveling wilburys most of them jeff lynn is the guy we is the is the person everybody forgets yeah he's an elo but he's alive still too so like whatever but probably i just there's like when when old people are that chill

yeah that's i think that that you only have that kind of confidence and you can only carry yourself that truly relaxed if you know you can handle yourself as some shit goes down abs they've all done shows that were like booked by the hell's angels like at some point you know what i mean totally get paid and crank and stuff like that yeah so buck sean time for your third pick uh my third pick is coming in at 61 barely making the cut and i'm picking mr lawrence taylor oh yeah dude 61 oh i guess we didn't set 60 yeah oh is that is that all right i think so fucking yeah let's. Yeah. Let's take Lawrence Taylor. I can pick older. No.

He doesn't strike me as an old guy yet. I thought we were doing 60. He doesn't because he's so gnarly. Yeah. He's just like real fit. Yeah. Lawrence Taylor would fuck your shit up. Yeah. He's insane.

He would ruin your weekend. He's so scary looking. Lawrence Taylor is so scary. Like if you had to line up across from Lawrence Taylor, it would be one of the gnarliest things just to look at him and be like, man, he wants to murder me. murder me and we're playing a game he's trying to fill that hole that he used to fill with crack yeah that's an unfillable it's an unfillable void yeah oh baby no man lawrence taylor lawrence taylor he just has that look of a like just that bummer look when i've and i've had it hasn't happened for a long time but i've said the wrong thing to

the wrong person and i've got that look before and uh it chills you to the bone and that's what lauren sailor's the kind of person where he's scarier if he's smiling you know yeah you're like what are you happy about everyone around you is dead what's going on yeah i feel like he mixes it up regularly he's excited that something's going to happen. Cause like, wasn't he arrested? Like not a long time ago. Like he's still like rowdy. Yeah. Yeah.

He like, you tell him that more people are showing up to a fight and he's like, Oh, tight. All right, cool. So we're gonna have a lot of fun then. All right.

That'll be, that'll be great. Yeah. Lawrence Taylor. He was rocking like one earring way before anybody else. Yeah. It was a lightning bolt. Yeah.

A low earring. Yeah, man. Lawrence Taylorlor i think he's uh you know a lot of people might beg to differ but i think lawrence taylor could take me i'm sure a lot of people on twitter are gonna think like no you got him but not my sweet sean he can beat up anybody that's what they're gonna say it's a toss-up i'll say it right now it's a toss-up uh sean time for you oh that was your toss up. Sean, time for you. Oh, that was your third pick. So it's time for my third pick. Coming in at the age of 64, a star of stage, screen, and anywhere else you put her, Whoopi

Goldberg. Whoa. Oh. Yeah. I guarantee you Whoopi Goldberg could kick my ass. Yeah, dude. All right. All right.

What? You think I'm'm gonna be funny i sincerely believe whoopi goldberg could kick my ass i really think that yeah i think she could kick the shit out of you she's got some like i feel like it's another person i guess like it's kind of the same as the Pat Riley pick where like, I don't think I would know a fight was happening. I feel like she's a scrapper. I feel like you'd get your hair pulled.

You might end up with like a fish hook. See, I kind of feel like a weapon would be involved. I feel like she would tase your neck or some shit. Yeah, she'd have one of those like telescoping batons. Those things scare the shit out of me. Yeah. Those are so, like a cattle prod what oh no you know you mean like one of those like police one of those things that go out like they have in the town yeah yeah yeah those things yeah have you ever seen one of those

in real life dude they're fucking scary i have if we're letting people have cattle prods that changes my list entirely. I think it's just like this is the kind of – I got Estelle Getty with a sawed-off shotgun could probably kick my ass. Like if weapons are in the game, it changes everything. I'm just saying you got to consider is this the kind of person where if you see them out in the wild, are they going to have a telescoping baton? And I think Whoopi Goldberg, yes. I've got Abe Vigoda with a katana hiding in my garage when I go to take out the trash. You should take your trash outside.

You don't want to put it in the garage. It'll stink. And in the middle of a pandemic, you don't want to leave it in there. He's hiding in the garage and my hands are next to the garage he'd wait for me to come out he's stealthy hence the katana abe pagoda the oldest ninja so for this pick keep in mind abe pagoda's pagoda they're all old ninjas train i'll just cancel myself it's fine it's all right old ninjas train.

I'll just cancel myself. It's fine. It's all right. Fuck. Guys, don't go to that senior center, that martial arts senior center. Hey, Pagoda's Pagoda. You guys don't go there. Hey, Pagoda's Pagoda.

Oh, man. Oh, my cheeks hurt uh whoopi goldberg plus she wears like very loose clothing so she could move in it you know what i mean i just feel like she's she might have me she'd be she's surprised but true kung fu master style yeah all right um So time for my fourth pick, unless there's any further discussion of Whoopi Goldberg. No, I think she's got whooping the name. Ask Whoopi. I'm going to take. That just makes me laugh. Ask Whoopi.

I've never heard that in my life. It's also a name for butt sex. I was going to say booty chatter and ask Whoopi. It's making whoopie you guys have ass whoopie classic dating gay man answer ass whoopie yeah we're gonna make whoopie but it's gonna be in her butt chuck i'm gonna continue my string of taking people who are like may like don't seem like they could kick my ass, but I'm pretty sure they could. At 77 years of age, a man from Newark, New Jersey, I'm taking Joe Pesci. Oh.

Okay. Yeah. I think, again, I think, Joe, first of all, when was the last time you've been in a fight? You've got to think of that. Joe Pesci? Joe Pesci's probably been in a shitload. No, Ian, I'm talking about. I've been in almost no fights in my entire life.

I'm factoring that in. That's what I was thinking about a lot with these picks, because if somebody doesn't necessarily look tougher than you, they easily can be if they've lived a tough life. That matters so much. I always go back to it, but but my friend adam he does not look tough he's very tough yeah you know so yeah i think joe pesci i don't know adam kind of looks like he would beat the shit out of you well you're just an example not everybody knows adam it's

a bad example but i'm just saying there are people who don't look tough that that are because they've been in tough situations and that definite that's like the definition to me of what makes you tough he's like only been in tough situations. Now, David. He's just like, yeah, man, some people have some tough shit happen to them, and that's why they're tough. And that's, to me, what it is. Now, David, I'll thank you to stop making fun of me. What was that booty chatter?

Fucking what? A lot of people think that being tough is just about how you look. No, it's actually about your experiences. Such an ass whooping. Now, David, I'll thank you kindly to stop making fun of me. Oh, I can't do it. No can do.

No can do, bud. I'd love to help you out, brother, but I just can't stop making fun of you. I wish I could, pal. That is a good, that's such a good one. No can do. I'm sorry uh anyway yeah i mean he's tiny he's ancient in the irishman he looked like a small old dog that your grandma would have that smelled like cigarettes but i still think he could kick

my ass i want to see him jump to hit you like uh in my cousin vinny oh yeah he'd get there he'd get up there yeah he'd get up in that ass like a wedgie dude i guarantee it beat me up and then like walk away and somebody who hands him a handkerchief to wipe his hands off and then he hands it back you know that kind of situation yeah i get that he just goes back to eating whatever he was eating yeah yeah uh sean time for your fourth pick my fourth pick uh coming in at 71 years of age i think kathy bates could kick the shit out of me i i don't even i i don't really even know what to say i do i really do i don't know why you guys don't think i think that could go either way i like like, I'm, I'm honestly trying to run it through the computer right now.

It's a vibe like you versus. I think she's got me. I think she could. I think it could be. That could be the case. She just seems gnarly, man. I love Kathy Bates,

man. I know that's not what this podcast is about with the people who can be. It's a theme. It's definitely a theme. I know we're drafting people based on their ability to kick our ass. I just fucking adore her i love it yeah she rules yeah she's just been like i don't know she's just been fat the whole time and just been a fucking you know what i mean like i love that yeah

just a fat sassy fucking you know what i mean it's I mean? They're called character actors, Ian. You've been in Hollywood long enough to know that. I just love just a battle axe, but she's like... There you go. Real spark plug. It's a character actor. What do you mean? Fat or ugly?

Which one? I just love her, and she's such a good fucking actor. She's so fantastic. Anyway, that's enough about Kathy Bates. Yeah, yeah. Kathy Bates. I think she's so fantastic. Anyway, that's enough about Kathy Bates. Yeah, yeah. Kathy Bates. I think she's got me. Yeah.

Catherine. Kyle, time for your fourth pick. You know, I realized some of my choices were too young, unfortunately. Yeah, that happens to me, too. I was going to throw Gordon Ramsay in there, but he's only like 53. Oh, that's a great one, though. But I went down a little road here. Well, can i alley

you from one to the next yeah i first i was gonna pick i was gonna go at 61 years no i was i meant one that was gonna be a choice but it made me actually choose the next choice i'll explore oh i think so oh i was coming up short with some of these things yeah i don't care i looked at 61 years of age i was confusing could kick my ass with. I think I want him to kick my ass. Sure. 61 years of age. Angela Bassett.

Fuck you, man. Are you fucking kidding me? Angela Bassett. God fucking damn it. I was going to pick it next. Fuck. David was going to pick it. I knew right away.

I mean, I knew from the second this was a topic, I knew David was going to pick that. that so all right i'm gonna let you have angela no no no no no no no no because you already said it man it's over you keep it you're keeping angela bassett she's kicking your ass all right this is karma she's beating the shit out of us right now i feel like if angela angela bassett like slapped you as hard as she could like your ancestors would feel it i think she would slap you too like in front of people yeah like she would like she would toy with you before she took you out also i think if you you would get the shit being out of you because if you upset angela bassett you'd be so disappointed in yourself you knew that you deserved what was coming and you'd let it happen yeah that's probably true because you'd be like oh my god i upset angela bassett yeah ah fuck she catch you with like two slaps the way

she slaps i feel like she definitely gets you with that thumb meat you know what i mean like that like meat in the thumb and it's like two slaps and then a drink tossed in your face and then the fight starts the slap waits for you to look back at her slaps you again yeah yeah oh yeah i just slapped you yeah yeah what are you gonna yeah that's the most disrespectful it's the news and the weather but yeah there's no way it was an accident you know what i mean no i said oh are you confused you know i slapped the shit out of you no i slapped you yeah yeah oh you're gonna look at me again well i'm gonna slap you again that's the arrangement i'm sorry if you look at me i slapped out the rules were

clear damn it do i need to repeat myself oh man it would it wouldn't be the worst i mean it would like that'd be a great story though yeah angela bassett slapped the shit out of me like i'd be bringing that up at dinner i'd give it six months and then i'd start bringing it up it'd be my go-to story yeah like people would but if you pissed off other celebrities people are like yeah that guy's probably a jerk but if you in any context if you're like angela bassett slapped the shit out of me people would be like what did you say to angela your own mother your own mother would be instantly mad at you because you disrespected angela bassett something yeah that's for real yeah totally so if you told somebody that at lunch i guess they probably like

get up without finishing their meal like that kind of level of drama yeah yeah great because we only know angela bassett as being inherently good just as a as a society with angela bassett you're like that's probably a very nice lady. Probably has good morals, stands up for her beliefs. So if anybody disrespected her, you'd have it coming. It's the Bassett-Rourke scale. You've got Mickey Rourke at one end, Bassett at the other. Excellent.

No podcast. The Bassett-Rourke scale. Bassett-Rourke scale. David, time for your uh fourth and final picks as it is a serpentine draft uh my fourth pick is going to be a football player this guy i think he's just like you know how there's like a way that dumb people can beat you yeah like in a different way than smart people be like i think this guy like i think this guy would just like hit you in the head with the brick i'm picking howie long howie long is so dumb dude dude oh man he would oh god my dad my dad sat next to howie long on an airplane one time

and i'll tell you what you get a couple bowls of loudmouth sooth and old Pat Jordan he was not scared to tell you that Howie Long had a thick ass neck and would beat the shit out of you he told everybody that he looks like he did when he played right now yeah and he's just like yeah he's that kind of

dumb where like he doesn't give a fuck dude he'll kill you he will kill you in this parking lot yeah he was a broken arrow bro was he really yeah yeah dude he was in haynes commercials my dad my dad would get drunk and every time howie long came on tv he'd slap me be like howie long's got a thick fucking neck but i'll tell you that yeah howie long looks like he has a buff skeleton yeah yeah like his bones have muscles howard matthew moses long that's his whole name yeah that's that's from a different time oh he's got moses in there somehow and he stole it from somebody else he hit somebody so hard he got their

middle name that's the david borey technique of slapping somebody so hard to take their name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I became David Borey. I was actually born Dennis Haysbert, so. Yeah, yeah. I said, what's your name? Oh, I'm taking that. That's my name now. You slapped David Robinson.

That sounds complicated and confusing. I like it. Yeah. I don't want him to know where i'm from yeah so yeah howie long is my fourth pick oh man and my last pick i am gonna go with james earl jones okay yeah oh yeah Out of respect. And just like everything about him is, it's not just his voice. He's, he's big.

He's got one of those big faces. I think he's got huge hands. Yeah. I think real big was about James Earl Jones. Wasn't it? That big timer song. Meat hook. I'm going to hands real big.

God damn it, Sean. Yeah. That's what I'm closing it out with.ames earl jones i think he would just oh man and then he laugh it laugh at you like that thick deep laugh oh god it is thick james earl joey's james earl jones's voice is like when you put like a ladle at the bottom of a pot of stew yeah yeah good stew baseball ray what good bottom stew what are you doing what the fuck is going on over there talking about bottom stew bottom stew Bottom stew. Bottom stew. God. Oh, that's a good stew. It's got all the pepper in it.

Chunky bottom stew. Oh, God. I don't like it when you talk like that. Chunky bottom stew. Oh, this voice is like... Oh, it's making me... That voice almost makes me nauseous. Yeah, it's real gross.

Hey, guys. I'm going to take my shirt off and you can look at my body while I eat chunky bottom stew. Stop it. I don't like this anymore. I'm just being completely honest this isn't fun for me anymore oh i feel like my organs are moving tough to go to the grocery store because my body gets in the way just stop it just don't do that anymore it's not even it's not even a joke I just don't want you to be like that

man alright this one you're not going to like this one and I only say it because I think I think only because of the willingness to do whatever it takes to win no matter how slimy

I'm throwing Donald Trump in here but with no honor because of zero honor he's grabbing nuts he's biting necks he's gonna win and brag about winning even though he did it in

the slimiest sleaziest most dishonorable way but i think he would see i don't think in combat he would i think he would get somebody to beat you up later i don't think one-on-one i don't think he would i think he's not built tough like I think he's really a soft man. He's a big dude. He's big. A lot of people are big. I think he's soft as shit. I don't agree with that. I think it would be like you'd beat him up,

and then he'd get some other people to beat you up and then say he beat you up or something. Oh, without a doubt. I think one-on-one. I don't think he has it like that. He's got no moral code, though. I don't think he has it like that one-on-one. I was thinking just based on the zero moral code but i think he's also kind of like a patsy type of dude

you know what i mean like he's also like used like a puppet you know what i mean like i don't think he i don't think he's tough by himself at all but i don't know man i never fought a president yes you have you don't have to lie we're late we've lost a lot of people by now you fought a president that's why i'm just thinking that like in in in no honorable way whatsoever i think he would be a slide he'd bite your dick right like he'll kick you straight in the ball yeah he'd fight like a wwf wrestling manager yeah first first Would you imagine having a millionaire bite your dick? Ooh. I don't know why the millionaire thing.

No, that was the whole thought. I like it. He'd rub salt in your eye. Yeah, for sure he would do all the wild shit. Oh. Yeah. Was it Andre Agassi's dad who always used to have pepper in his pocket in case he got in a fight you guys ever hear about that no that's gnarly he'd like walk around with uh black pepper in his pocket yeah how many fights are you getting that

you just got condiments on you you got seasonings at the ready that's a tennis dad no less i think it's like one of those things that worked once and then you're like well yeah oh no that's my pocket full of tang i just wanted a drink later oh now oh no now this fight got zesty sean time for your final pick my final pick coming in at 81 years old i'm picking sunny barger the leader of the Hells Angels. Oh, yeah, that's great. I think Sonny's got me. I looked him up.

He's not in peak physical condition, but I still... I don't want to light your ass on fire here, but he's not in peak physical condition, if you can wrap your mind around that. But I just think the Hells Angels obviously are gnarly enough to where I think Sonny Barger's got me until he's not breathing anymore. I think he's got it like that. Yeah, it's almost like he went through stuff in his life that made him tough. And to me, to me, that's what being tough is. Oh, man. Fuck you.

And that's just to me. That's my definition of tough i don't know is there any is there any legislative body to the hell's angels anymore and i only asked that because i was driving to san francisco to see my girlfriend and I stopped at a gas station and there were like a bunch of dudes on my motorcycles with like Hells Angels patches all over their fucking vests and everything and they didn't look like super rich guys with motorcycles but they also didn't look like Hells Angels

do you think they were Hells Angels? I think they're still around I think it's different than it was obviously like then it's different than when Hunter S. Thompson was palling around with him but i think they're still real yeah i think those guys probably still get down man well a lot of that stuff is like all right you've been a gang for so long there's almost i i don't know i don't want to say legitimate but there's almost like a public face like oh you're the hell's angels you're gonna wear hell's angels on your back you might do things somewhat legitimately now be like yeah we're doing a toys for tot drive like they do they still have the

that kind of that component to them yeah i mean we're not going deep you're not going mongols or these other guys yeah no i won't even yeah they're not there are still some gnarly gangs but yeah i wouldn't fuck with them yeah i got nothing to get i got i don't like motorcycle gangs a guy in a motorcycle gang shot my friend in high school oh yeah that's right yeah sons of silence gnarly yeah who shoots a team anyways i don't know what to say yeah no it was a weird thing to bring up. I get it. That's all right. It was in the flow.

Time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft. And with my final pick at 73 years old, I'm taking the Ryan Express, Nolan Ryan. Yeah, he was on mine for sure. Nolan Ryan is tough as nails. He'd do you dirty too. Talk about it. No, he wouldn't nolan ryan says put your fucking dukes up i think nolan ryan goes punch for punch yeah but i think nolan ryan also

bites your face probably nolan ryan was like a major league he played from like when he was like 19 until when he was damn near 50 and when he was 46 years old this guy robin ventura is 26 26 year old major league baseball player charged the mound and ryan just put him in a headlock and This guy, Robin Ventura, is 26. 26-year-old Major League Baseball player, charged the mound, and Ryan just put him in a headlock and started fucking beating his brains in. It was amazing. It's the buckest. It's one of the buckest fights

professional athletes get down on YouTube, but it is so dope. He signs autographs. If you bring a picture of that to a conference that he's autographing at, he'll autograph that picture for you. Jesus. Well, the other guy can you get both can you get both signatures yeah yeah that's the that's the real question finding robin ventura is there is there he's on cameo robin ventura don't worry about it you might need the money so you might be able to get them both

yeah man that's solid i was hoping it would get brought up i almost picked him every time but i uh obviously i didn't but yeah that's that's great he's a tough he's a fucking tough mother so that's the final pick to round it david you went first you took jackie chan george foreman dennis haisbert howie long and james earl jones yeah stand by it stand behind everyone kyle, you went second. You took Billy Joel, Madonna, The Traveling Wilburys. Kyle picked a concert.

I would love that concert. I would take my mom to that concert. Yeah, then your mom would have to see you get the shit beat out of you. Whatever, man. The whole day. Open or feature headliner. I'll take it. Oh, shit.

She's coming into the crowd, isn't she? Oh, man. And then you capped it off with old 45 himself, Donald Trump. Sean, you went third. You took Sam Elliott, Mickey Rourke, Lawrence Taylor, Kathy Bates, and Sonny Berger. That's a group of people who have never been together. Never been in a room. Do you think Lawrence Taylor and Kathy Bates know about each other?

Yes. I think they've hung out. I think they've kicked it. Do you really? Do you think either one of them knows who the other is, though, to be honest? I bet. I think they've kicked it. You really? Do you think either one of them knows who the other is, though, to be honest? I bet. I would think that Lawrence Taylor knows who Kathy Bates is more than vice versa. Yeah, I think that's right.

But I don't really. I honestly can't call it. No, dude. There's a podcast, Taylor Bates. You guys got to check it out. Taylor Baten. Just over here. Taylor Baten.

There it is. I went last, and I took Jimim brown pat riley whoopie goldberg joe pesci and nolan ryan god these are fun i just want to see them at a table that's that would be a great table actually like oh shit is that those five wait and at the buca yeah they split the check we left some good people on the board uh i left my dad on the board ivan carmel i think he still got me yep i think he does too for sure yeah i't know. Popeye was one that I had, but I was scared to pick him. But Popeye's 90. I had God the Father. Like, not the

Son or the Holy Spirit, but God the Father. Oh, God? Yeah, that's a good one. Jamie Lee Curtis, like I thought maybe. Tina Turner? Tina Turner. I had Tina Turner. Oh, Tina Turner for sure. She's got a strong base. And she lived through Ike. Yeah. she ain't putting up with that

shit no way nope nope true story she sings better be good to me if you aren't beat the shit out of you yeah that was the subtext in that song better be good to me or else i'm gonna cave your face in how do we feel about like and like arnold schwarzenegger didn't get taken, but also he's like such a, he's so brittle now. He's still buff, but he's like. Is he brittle though? I'm afraid he.

Oh, sorry. I was going to say, are you guys down with like new weird Schwarzenegger? Like how he's just hanging out in his house with like a goat and a donkey. Oh yeah. Why are those animals in his kitchen? He's coming.

Sorry, go ahead. He's just being old weird i love like people are old instead of getting stodgy they're like what if i just let it all hang out i think he's just becoming he spent like so he started out as an austrian and then tried so hard to become an american like to the point where he was the governor of like one of our biggest most powerful states and now i think he's just letting himself become Austrian again. He's just living in a house with goats and shit. Dinner time.

Sharing a bowl of oats with some sheep. I think we're less than six months away from seeing him in public in Lederhosen. Yeah, I'm with you. That would be crazy. Yeah. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. you know what i mean yeah austrian to austrian can you know who i think would have done it and uh and uh and on a sad note rip today little richard oh yeah for sure yeah he would have sassy beat you up yeah he would slap the shit out of you like a bunch of slaps to where you're surprised then he punches you in the face then it's brass knuckles by the way he's still playing the piano with the other hand while he does it absolutely he's got a heel up on the high keys

well we want to hear yours as well uh hit us up at all fantasy pod on twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to super producer Marissa, a young person who could kick all of our asses. We love you. Straight up. Thanks, I guess. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit.

Shout out to everyone holding us down on the AFE Patreon. Thank you for providing so we can do what we do. We've been dropping into the shaslackity lately, and it's been really fun. I was in there yesterday. Sean, you were in there, right? Yeah, we're going to do a hot sauce exchange in the Shislakity. I'm going to send someone in the Shislakity. That's an old Gene Hackman movie that not a lot of people talk about anymore.

The hot sauce exchange? Yeah. There's a sequel to french connection yeah uh shout out to shout out to fucking everyone i hope you're staying safe shout out to our essential workers and everybody whatever from fucking ambulance drivers to doctors that work in the grocery store we love love you so much. Please stay safe. Thank you for going to work while the rest of us are sitting here cracking jokes and shit. Like, you know, it's all fun and games, but

we sincerely really appreciate you. So if you're listening to this while you're at work or on the way to work, thank you for what you do. This is Zoom. Any of you want to jump in here? Uh, no. You didn't. Alright, cool. I gotta go pee so bad. Oh yeah okay i'll end it right now shout out to spanky ocean shout out to sid the dude shout out to haji beats shout out to

fucking puffins dude shout out to kashi good friend cereal shout out to say sue carmel shout out to all of you and more important than all that tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. Sha-clackity! That was a Hate Gum Podcast.