All Fantasy Everything - Oscars Categories (w/ Blair Socci, Amy Miller)

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

Or, for one of us, things in general that warrant an Academy Award.Episode Guest:Blair Socci (X @blairsocci, IG @blairsocci)Amy Miller (X @amymiller, IG @amymillercomedy)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting things that should be Oscar categories. I think that's right. Awards? Oh, wait. I did not.

I thought it was things you should get an Oscar for not categories that's the same thing oh okay okay mine are just gonna be really specific well hold on now wait let me stop that

I'll shut the fuck up how did you interpret it I thought it was things you should win an Oscar for. Like what's like a fake example? That's not one of your picks. Oh God. You're saying like a performance from someone that didn't win an Oscar that should have?

Yeah. Or just like a really good thing. Like someone who does a really cool thing. Yeah. That seems like a category. I think we're going to make it work. I think it's all going to work out. I'm a little farther out there and more general, I think, but

you know, such is the fun. Nothing general about anything I wrote, but here we go. Mine are mostly movie related, but I think we're going to be all good. Oh, my God. Are yours not? Wait, what do you mean movie related? You just did life stuff you should win an Oscar for? Yes. Oh, yeah, I did

Oscars, like categories that should be in the Oscars. Me too. Life's like coolest guy? Blair's saying like best kickflip and stuff. Not a predator still another year in a row? Oh yeah, like I didn't even

I had to be movie related. Yeah, like not one of mine is movie related, but I'll just have fun. Just consider me out, and I'll just say my weird. I spent a long time writing, too. This is interesting. I think this is going to work out perfectly. Okay. Couldn't be better.

And I think you leave all this in the intro, Isaac. Yes, absolutely. All right, perfect. Okay. Even you saying that. Our guests today are our wonderful friends, amazing stand-up comedians, just all-around spectacular forces on the planet Earth,

Blair Saki and Amy Miller. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. My dear friend, Sean Jordan, is here as well. David Borey, currently in a submarine patrolling the rivers of Bolivia. Bolivia. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.

All right, we got a hot draft topic for you today. But first, let's go ahead to Sean Jordan with the traffic. Hey, man, it's pretty light here out on the beach, man. You might catch some gnarly waves, catch a skimboarder in your way, maybe a boogie boarder, chuck a deuce at him and just keep traffic pushing. You know what I mean? All right. No need to stop it and gum up the works, bud.

I did morning radio here in San Francisco. Oh, man. Was it better or worse than Phoenix? It was the same. No, it was not. Was it really? No, Phoenix was like, it was great until the end. And then they couldn't help themselves from saying something.

Sure, man. I'll tell you I'll text you guys later what they said but yeah no we can talk about what they said this I mean I just don't want to make Isaac cut it Isaac we cut it out I don't know if we have to cut it out I think we can discuss it I've done that radio show and I know exactly the people you're talking about

the one in Phoenix or the one in San Francisco the Phoenix they were great up until the end when this guy about. The one in Phoenix or the one in San Francisco? The Phoenix. They were great up until the end when this guy was like, he saw someone with Down syndrome smoking weed. Yeah, come out of the bathroom,

weed hit out. They go, what are quotes? What do you want to end the show on? And I said, blow trees, get money. And I don't know, six in the morning or whatever. And I thought he'd laugh and he goes, oh, so you're cool with that? And he wasn't coming at me, but I'm like, with people smoking weed? Yeah, man, I don't care. And then he said, I don't know why it went this way, but he said he saw somebody with Down syndrome go in a bathroom and blow out a big hit of weed and come out.

And he's like, you think they should be able to do that and it's like well yeah man and david david goes they're people i mean you should get to do it extra there's there's a commercial right now where it's somebody with down syndrome like it's i saw it on the internet saying like yeah i can have a margarita like quit saying i can't i can't do that kind of stuff they're all people are allowed to do that kind of thing when they're of age. Yeah, man. Anyway, morning radio, what it seems to be now is like, it's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. You think everything's okay. It's like a horror movie. And then they'll just like jump out with like something horrifying. We're like, oh, no, it's never changed at all. It's still morning radio. Have you ever done the ones where you go into the studio at 6 a.m., but then the guy is zooming in from his house?

I could have done that. No way. Why did I drive down here? That's a crazy swing. I didn't know. And you're not allowed to say it. Like, the fans don't know. You have to pretend you're in studio with him.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. The bear couldn't get out of the cave. I would be so pissed. I wouldn't stop mentioning it. I mean, you guys know I say no to most of those engagements because of the hour alone. Yeah.

I've never said no to one. I always get scared that they're going to be like, all right, man, you're fired. Me too. I never say no, but I'm just like, I fucking hate this.

I don't know. It's an experience. I mean say no, but I'm just like, I fucking hate this. I don't know. It's an experience. I mean, after you're done, it's always a story to tell. You know, what do you got to do for the rest of the day most of the time? I don't know. It's a lot of stuff, Sean. So many things. All right. I need to walk around that mall that's probably near me several times without buying anything.

So many things. I might buy something these days. Good for you. I didn't have a bad experience at this one, but it's not I would have rather had sold enough tickets that I didn't feel like I needed to do it. That's usually the thing. Sure.

Buy a Facebook ad or something next time. I wish I wouldn't have felt bad for the punchline. I'm like, man ad or something next time. Yeah. I wish I wouldn't have felt bad for the punchline. I'm like, man, I know they're paying rent. I know that's expensive. Oh, Live Nation. It's sad. Sad what's happened to them. Thank you to everyone who came out to the shows, though.

Sean Jordan is here. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Sean the Beach right now. I'm at the beach. I feel like I look like I'm at the beach. I feel like I look like I'm at I feel windswept. Does it look windswept a little

bit? Salt kissed and windswept. Sean the shores. Yeah. Your two horses salt kissed and windswept. Man, there was some kid doing backflips into this huge probably

20 foot dune yesterday. It was sick. Just that. Yes. He must have been thrilled to have you there rooting him on I was I was glad

his family wasn't even doing anything and I was like bro this is sick and then he was he was like I'm scared to do a front flip and it's like

I think you got it and then he did it nice that's beautiful my niece Sean you saw it in person at my mom's birthday yeah she can't stop doing cartwheels she does like a hundred cartwheels and can't look like It's beautiful. My niece, Sean, you saw it in person at my mom's birthday. Yeah.

She can't stop doing cartwheels. She does like a hundred cartwheels. She looked like one of those in like a horror movie where the demon can like detach their back or whatever.

She did this bridge and put her head, her head was touching her calves. You know what I mean? Backwards. And I was just like, holy cow. It's a thrill.

You get lightheaded. It's like a drug. I mean, and I was just like holy cow it's a thrill you get light headed it's like a drug I mean you're spinning around yeah you won't catch me moving like that no way were you guys cartwheel kids?

I wasn't good at it like I was like real one of those crouched over kids wait what did you say were you a gymnastic kid yeah were you like a cartwheel kid oh not really you know i did at gymnastics what i did enjoy was climbing up the rope i said this feels like power you know but the um the balance beams instead i said why are

you putting this on here this looks so i don't this looks precarious you know i don't think we're supposed to do flips on my child yeah yeah i i've told this story before but middle school i had we had a vault thing where you had to like run down a runway and hit a spring and go over a vault and i weighed 320 pounds like in middle school and my gym teacher would not let me not do it. Dude. And how do you feel about that now? Are you glad for that or you think that was rude as hell? I think it was rude as hell but he was like the way he was coming at it was like you're no different than any of these

other kids. I don't want you to feel any different. So it was like coming from a good place for him but like I was like but he brought it up every class and I'm like I'm not going to do do it he's like you're not getting out of here without doing it and when I finally did it I hit the springboard and took to the air and he was like catching me right and I saw the realization dawn in his eyes only once I hit midair that like like even though I was like 12 a 320 pound kid was like flying at him. And he went down like that, like a guess who tablet. Like he went down so hard and that made it all worth it.

Like, so that alone and the entire class started laughing. 320 is 320. That's the ending I was hoping for. Oh yeah. That's beautiful. I laid him out. It was beautiful. I think he giggles about that to this day from time to time.

If he's still alive. I hope he does. And if he's not, it was the last thing he thought of. That's what the angel of death appeared to him as. A little bar mitzvah boy. A big bar mitzvah boy.

Sean, where can people see perhaps even some recorded material of yours? Girl Dad comes out today, March 21st. It's a special I recorded. My wife

film directed, produced the whole thing. The whole thing is about her pretty much. It's labor. The IVF process, getting a vasectomy. I worked really hard. It's the first thing I've worked really hard on maybe ever in my whole life other than raising a daughter. It comes out today for

purchase. One person sent me a mean message. You can take a flying leap. It's out on patreon.com, 10 bucks. I put out a free podcast chronicling my first album as sort of an incentive to, you know, like behind the bits and stuff.

So that's all free on Patreon. If you want to go buy it, it's 10 bucks. I would be very appreciative. First week sales are extremely important for me. I benefit tremendously off of everybody who buys it in the first week. So do that. I worked really hard on it. I'll be posting about it.

Also, we're going to be in Boise tonight, doing a live AFE tonight. So if you're in Boise, come out to the Egyptian theater. Boise. Oh my God. I can't wait to watch your special.

I saw some of the material and it's so good. And I'm so proud of you thank you I'm excited I appreciate it and we're all gonna promote it no Ian it's the thing it's what we do nobody's gonna say it dude

did you have to run that name by Beth Stelling was she okay with it I knew you did you're so nice yeah no other man in comedy would ever hey, I'm doing this. No other man in comedy would ever think to reach out. I know, I'm doing this, so I hope it bothers you. What was her special called? Girl Daddy.

And she couldn't have been cooler because I was like kicking names around. This was one. Some people thought it was catchy and they're like, it's Google-able or whatever. So I hit her up and I was like, hey, can I name mine Girl Dad? I know Girl daddy's out there and she couldn't have been she's like of course what do i give a shit of course get your you know get it wow notorious bitch bestsellings

nice one time one of the worst people on the planet uh anything other than that show no man I'm in a good mood. Everybody just be happy. Have fun, you know? Be cool. Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah, bro. Hell yeah, dude. Learn how to do that. Hell yeah, dude.

Blair Saki is here. At Blair Saki on Twitter. Oh, what's up, all fantasy everything? There it is. I almost spit everywhere. The big dog. Is that it on Instagram, too? Oh, yeah.

It's across all platforms tiktok website blair softy it's all uniform baby no guessing games here uh-uh all laid out where this comes out literally literally next thursday where can people uh see what you have to say look get my special on beeps if you haven't screen if you haven't streamed it yet the link is in my bio on my website it's fucking everywhere bitch produced by the madden brothers ever heard of lifestyles of the rich and famous good charlotte bitch ever heard of those it's the madden brothers oh yeah executive produced baby okay oh my god yeah some would say they have an eye for talent so i would and then and then really really besides that um yeah you can just support i guess some of the shows i do

maybe send a well wish or like a comment on one of my goddamn videos i think the fans should know that she's got both hands behind her head. Fingers entwined. Oh, I also want to say before we continue is that I did get the topic slightly wrong, so just prepare for that.

Slightly? I think that's only gonna make it a better podcast overall. It's more interesting, I would say. Well, I'll be in another galaxy while you are all collectively in one, but that's okay. I'm trying to find the verbiage. It's going to be like we're all playing baseball and you're out there just like with shoulder pads and a helmet on laying people out. Sure, which is something, yeah. There were a lot of texts and I got it wrong, so.

Amy Miller is here. Hey, what's up? Good morning. Hey, what's up? Good morning. Top of the morning. Well, top of the morning to you. Is today St. Patrick's Day or is that tomorrow? I think it's today. Today is observed.

It's March 17th. Oh, okay. But it's a few days ago. Yeah. And I had a great time. I had so many green beers. Did you drink some green? Are you going to drink some green? Are you going to have a green bagel? What are you going to do?

Anything? Green bagel. I'm going to green everything. I'm going to bring food coloring with me to restaurants. Hey, would you have the chef add this to my... I'm going to have a green chimichanga, dude. Oh, love a chimichanga, huh? Can you add this to my chimmy?

Thank you. The chef knows I bring you add this to my chimmy? Thank you. The chef knows I bring things to add to my chimmy. I'm Irish. We're persecuted people. I wish you would tell us where we could see you. Oh, tonight. Thursday the 21st. Yes.

I'm in Ann Arbor, Michigan for the first time. And then I got a lot. DC coming up. Oh yeah. Buy tickets to see me in DC or Vegas. It's all on my website, amymillercomedy.com. And then follow me on Instagram, amymillercomedy. That's pretty much it.

Oh, I also forgot. Amy Miller and I have a show together for Netflix's The Joke Festival in L.A. That's important. And I really appreciate you remembering it, Blair. Is that on May 9th or 6th? One of those two at the Hollywood Improv is going to be huge. It's on May 6th at the Hollywood Improv.

And it's me and Blair co-headlining for the Netflix's The Joke Festival. Never before seen two co-headliners. Going to be pretty old time, baby. I think we can sell this one out. It's in the lab. I think Chappelle's going to cry after because he took all his money and material. I do the new stuff. Yeah.

They're saying that this is that show is going to float Netflix for the economic year like that's what's keeping them in the black this year you'd think it's the new squid game but it's me and Blair I read your mind because we're in a squid game of our own gal that's for sure love is blind baby

squid game this is not what you were saying but squid game could be a term for scissoring that's true that's not what you were saying at all just the amount of like limbs going everywhere that's a lot of scissors

I guess a scissor orgy yeah that sounds nice a grip of scissors it's a grip of scissors. It's hella scissors. Number six. Yeah. Yep.

That's and that's on my website, too. So that's see you there. Better get the tickets before they sell out. We really only need to sell like 12 for it to feel OK. What are you talking about? The lab is the best. You really only do need to sell like 12 for it to feel OK. Yeah. But we'd like to sell like 12 for it to feel okay. Tiny little place.

But we'd like to sell 40. Probably already sold out. Gotta be. Go look for tickets just in case there's one or two available. I almost guarantee you it's sold out already. It just sold out. You ever get someone who just didn't look well and they'll hit you up and they're like, oh bro, show's all sold out.

And you go check and you're like, no, there's like 70 tickets left. You just didn't look well and they'll hit you up and they're like, oh, bro, show's all sold out and you go check and you're like, no, there's like 70 tickets left. You just didn't look at the right link. Yeah. You looked at a broken link. several times lately. Yeah. It's always such a,

yeah, because you get so excited and then it's just such a big takedown. I think they're looking for guest list. I had someone reach out in Milwaukee

who's very nice and he was just like, hey, can't wait for the show. Why were these tickets so expensive? I go, couldn't be me, so I have no idea. He bought them on a scalping website and paid $80 each. And I was like,

yeah, I would have just put you on the list. That's so sad. And also, what would happen to me anytime I tried to buy a ticket? Blair's clicking all the sponsored links every time. She's not reading into the details. It's so hard to be alive. Vivid seed engine.

One of my mom's friends did that to my show in Portland and my mom was like trying to get me to figure out how to fix it. And I'm like, we're going to have to fly to Taiwan if we want to fix this. This is beyond my purview. We got to how to fix it. And I'm like, we're going to have to fly to Taiwan if we want to fix this. This is beyond my purview. We got to go to the source. And you're like, I'm a little busy right now trying to

think about performing for hundreds of people. Did you get them on TicketsTaiwan.com? That's not the right website. No. I've posted the link. Did they go to that link? I know. And you do.

We do. You post the link and then people just. Well, Ian's right. People want the free tickets. I mean, that reads you like a book when you're doing that. Like, hey, how do I get tickets? And you're like, how do you find out where the library is in Chattanooga? You just Google it.

You know what I mean? Right. Obviously. They want you to be like, I got it. Don't worry about buying tickets, bro. I got it. We're not in this business to sell tickets. Not to say that I don't sometimes I try to not do that, but I accidentally do it still

to this day. You try not to. You on purpose do it. I know you're exploits. Not with tickets. Yes. With tickets, with tickets, with sneakers. You absolutely do. Isaac, put air horns With tickets, with sneakers, you absolutely do.

Isaac, put air horns over all this, please. Don't lie. There's no shame in it, but you do do it. Hey, hey, Nike, how do I get shoes? How do I get the shoes? No, Nike can kick rocks, dude. So excited to see At Atmosphere when it comes to Portland. I do know that to be true.

Isaac, let's just stop Isaac, let's stop everything. Put air horns over everything Ian said. Who among us wouldn't do that? I would absolutely do that as well. Where you try to position yourself. I do it with restaurants. But I bought tickets. But I bought tickets.

So that was the thing. So bought tickets. I was like so excited to see At Atmosphere. And then he hit me up and I was like, whoa. Because yeah, it's the internet game we're all playing. But I did buy the tickets. And then I got to give those tickets away because your boy hooked it up.

And they kissed? And then I was too nervous to even look at him afterwards. Then they had a squid game. Someone invites, he invites you to the green room and then I'm staring at my feet. Oh my gosh. I don't know if I've told this publicly, but now it's okay.

So I walk in, it's after the show and I had my pass and it was total Wayne's World. I was like, is this cool? Is this cool? I was holding it up in front of everyone and nobody gave a shit. There were like 10 people back there and they're like, yeah, what do I care? And I go up to Ant, who's the DJ. And I go, hey, I don't know if I should call him Sean or Slug. I was like, is Slug back here? And he's like, yeah, he's in the green room somewhere. And I go, cool. Is there any beers? He goes, no, I stopped drinking a while ago. I looked at him. I'm like, I'm supposed to be back here.

He goes, I don't care. He just looked ahead. Then I went and sat down and stared at my feet for 10 minutes. A perfect green room experience. I had a pass. No, you go ahead. a perfect green room experience I had a cast so go ahead

no no no I was just gonna say like I don't know like even if it was and you know I should probably talk about this in therapy but like even if it was like my dream person of the biggest fan of like I don't think I could go in the green room

because I always just think it's so weird when strangers are in the green room. Even if I was fully invited, I just... It's so awkward. I was alone with a stranger in a green room recently, and she was very nice. And I really did not want to chat. It was horrible. What was she doing there? Like, you know know with the other comic

situation yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah very sweet but sometimes you just don't want to get to know somebody right before you have to perform yeah you're so tired and i'm just like oh my god the amount of strange women that i have met in green rooms over my career. And we have to reach out because they don't introduce us. No, never. They'll find each other. Those two broads. They mutter something to the woman they're with. Yeah.

Just loud enough for you to make out a couple of the words and then go up on stage. Take care of her. They also do that to guys. Yeah, of course. Yeah, they don't tell you either. And then you have to be like, hello. Yeah. Oh, I love to introduce my boyfriend

to everybody. That guy's a goddamn hunk. Even people he's met before. Every time I get goosebumps, I'm like, who's this guy? You know him? I go, yeah, but introduce me. It's more fun that way.

He says the same about you. A new narrative every time I meet this fucking tall drink. Damn. Man, I used. I'm so thirsty. I'm horny now. Okay. I had a goal.

Just because I used a big word just now. I had a goal about a week ago to use antiquated. And I used it yesterday. I cannot remember the context. But I used the word antiquated to Laura. And I looked at her. She's like, why are you smiling? I go, I had a goal to use that word for the last week. I'll tell you what you didn't do.

What was the word that we were going to say on stage? Arsenio Hall. I forgot too. You fucking blew it. You owe me an Arsenio Hall. Here's what I was going to do. I was going to say when Max was coming out and I'm like, yeah, I'm down there like Arsenio Hall going, whoo, whoo, whoo. We made a bet and the loser had to say Arsenio Hall on their

set and I lost and I forgot to do it. I wanted to, but I forgot. I'll do it on the 23rd. On one of the biggest nights of your stand-up career, I'll do it. I'll just work it in Arsenio Hall. Oh, that's fabulous. Oh, yeah, this will come out that day. So, okay, actually. No, they'll do it. I'll just work it in our sitting in a hall joke. Oh, that's fabulous. Oh, yeah. This will come out that day.

So, okay, actually. No, they'll love it. They'll love it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'll do it. Oh, no.

See, you know what? I'm going to come up with a new word for you now. Our sitting in a hall is out. A secret one. Is it going to be antiquated? Because I'm kind of an old hand at using the word antiquated.

That's so antiquated. My name is Ian. Wonderful. That was great. My name. Oh, my green room Wonderful. That was great. My name. Oh, my green room story. I had a pass at a Blazer game that like it was like you can go anywhere. You can go to the locker rooms when I was in there.

I'm like, well, I'm not going to not go to the locker rooms. Exciting. And I went in there thinking like, I don't know. I don't know what would happen. And it was a fucking locker room. Dudes were getting changed and like naked. Yes. And like I saw LaMarcus Aldridge is were getting changed and like naked. Yes. And like,

I saw LaMarcus Aldridge's. Just some heaters out there. Go on. LaMarcus Aldridge. I was like, I was dong. And I'm like, it's time to go.

This is a, this is a different relationship that I want to have with my favorite athletes. And also to the team, don't give people like me. Blair's like, not me. Exactly.

The relationship. Yeah. Yeah. I saw his, I saw his stretch four. Woo! Baby! Don't give a guy the pass that's clearly going to be the one that's uncomfortable in that scenario. Don't give a man who's wearing a jersey of that team a pass to go into the locker room, which I was wearing a jersey of that team, a pass to go into the locker room, which I was. I was wearing a Blazers jersey and like trundled in there. And like all these like elite athletes in their early 20s had to be like, who is this?

I think you should have just started changing. You've got to be like, see you guys in the paint. How crazy is that though? They give passes to strangers that get to come in while they're changing. Like that's insane. I feel like I'd be mad. Yeah. They should get rid of it.

I feel like that was only something that happened like in 80s movies. No, it's real. It'd be like a lady reporter or whatever. And then there's dongs everywhere. Yeah. Nope. Ian saw that piece.

I saw that piece. That's crazy. Good for him, by the way. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. We know.

Yeah. It's not like it's taken any food away from me, specifically. So, Wow. Yeah. Yeah. We know. Yeah. It's not like it's taken any food away from me specifically. So yeah, I'm not, it's not affecting me at all. So good.

You're talking about his dong size? Good for Lamarcus. Yeah. Why would anyone be jealous unless it's affecting you? It ain't. This is a rising tide situation.

Nothing in my day to day. I'm still, I still saw the sunset last night. I'm still at the beach. Yeah. Uh, you can come see me. You can come see me, uh, tonight in Boise, Idaho. I still saw the sunset last night. I'm still at the beach. Yeah. You can come see me. You can come see me tonight in Boise, Idaho

at the Egyptian Theater with my good friends Sean Jordan and David Boyd. Come on out. Doing a live All Fantasy everything. I don't know how many people who listen to us

live in Boise or will be in that area, but we sure love to see you if you do. Then we'll do some theater comedy. That's a beautiful theater. Gorgeous theater. Yeah, I'm excited. I if you do. That's a beautiful theater. Gorgeous theater.

Yeah, I'm excited. I wonder how gorgeous it will look a quarter full. With that attitude. It'll be fine. Alright, perfect. Probably not as full as the Improv Lab, but just keep going. No chance. That's the brass ring for us. We have a picture of the two of you headlining

the Improv Lab on our vision board for 2025. We're going to picture of the two of you headlining the uh the improv lab on our vision board for 2025 we're gonna really overdo the intros on that little stage too a lot of lights yeah yeah hey keep swinging huh march 23rd i will be at revolution hall recording my special to me uh the first show is sold out. The second show, as of this recording, there are still tickets available for. So grab tickets to come see that. The late show.

It seems like it's late. It'll probably get started around like 9.45 and you'll be home by 11.30. Don't worry about it. No, you won't. You'll hang out all night. It's Saturday. We're going to have a fun time. I will be hitting it that night. I've been not hitting it for a while now. Oh, I cleared it. You'll hang out all night. It's Saturday. We're going to have a fun time. I will be hitting it that night. I've been not hitting it for a while now. Oh, I cleared it. I cleared it a while ago. Yeah.

Have a drink on the rooftop. We might. It's beautiful. If the weather cooperates in any way, we'll be on that roof. Two shows, I'm very excited about it. And the hour is super duper good right now. I've been hell on the road working it. I can attest to that. It is on point. It is sharp. I've been hell on the road working out.

I can attest to that. It is on point. I saw it. It's very good, and that's going to be an amazing show. That venue is so cool. Yeah. It's a fun hour.

You're bouncing around a little bit. It's, yeah, I have nothing but good things. It's surprise, surprise. I have nothing but good things to say about it. You're an absolute match. You're really good at what you do, bud. Say one bad thing about it. Do say one bad thing about it. Think of one bad thing. I got a but good things to say about it. You're really good at what you do, bud. Say one bad thing about it.

Do say one bad thing about it. Think of one bad thing. I got a week to fix it. No, I won't. Alright, alright. We try, we try. I don't even like that I thought about it. I thought there were notes, yeah. You could tell he had notes, right? Yes, 100%. Now that's going to be dwelling with me. Specific ones.

Yeah. See, you're manifesting something bad, you two little devils. What are you doing? Pull one me. Specific ones. Yeah. See, you're manifesting something bad, you two little devils. What are you doing? Pull one out. Pull one out. No. No! I ain't doing it. Because you don't have any or what? I just crossed my legs tighter.

Out of bed. I'll be at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival, April 17th through the 20th in Austin, Texas. Can't wait to go there and see a bunch of people say words that you weren't allowed to say five years ago. I'll be in Burlington, Vermont at the Vermont Comedy Club May 2nd through the 4th, and then I'll be in Madison,

Wisconsin at Comedy on State May 9th through 11th, and you're never going to guess who's going to be there with me. Middling. It's going to be your friend of mine, David Borey. Hey. Yeah.

So come see me struggle to follow David at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin. It's going to be amazing. That's how it should be. Oh, Ian. Yes. Can I plug one more thing relevant to the pod? I would love it. But also relevant to me.

Yeah. Oh, on March 26th, I'm doing After Midnight with Shane and Kyle Kinane. Oh, great. And you could probably still get tickets for it for the taping by now because it's in five days. I want to

see it so bad. Absolutely. If you're in the greater Los Angeles area, am I in the greater Los Angeles area? I might have to swing by that green room. Yes, that'd be so fun. I don't know. We just had a big long talk about that. You're in the lesser Los Angeles area. I'm in the lesser Los Angeles. I am literally in the lesser Los

Angeles area. I wonder where they draw the line. Like, if you're in Oxnard, don't bother. I'm doing a little just because I have not been a good... I haven't been a bad husband, but I've been an absentee husband for the last several months going on the road. So we're doing a little getaway.

And you think she would mind if you canceled to come to a taping? I think it would be a conversation. It would be a discussion. A little chat, maybe. We might have a dinner about it. She might have some thoughts. Yeah.

I think I might be broadcasting from an Embassy Suites for a while, if that happens. Nice. Little fridge. I do have a little fridge. You can't put a lot of stuff in there, but you can put cold cuts. Little yogurts. Enough. Oh boy, my internet is barely

cooperating. You're good on this one. Oh boy, my internet is barely cooperating. Okay, here we go. You're good on this side. All right, I'm back. But we're getting here today, not to talk about me hypothetically living in a land of half divorce, eating very small yogurts from a very small fridge. But! La Quinta.

La Quinta Inn. La Quinta Inn. La Quinta Inn. It's a gorgeous hotel. La Quinta? Oh, absolutely. Only in Palm Springs. Not in any other state in the country.

She doesn't mean the chain. Just the one from The Bachelor. No, not the chain. Oh, okay. I thought we were talking about the La Quinta. Oh, no. No? Oh, no.

Where we stay in the Parker? Also nice. The La Quinta in Palm Springs is so nice. Just in other states here. We stayed where there was a giant hot tub, like a hot tub the size of a couple trailers. Oh. Base, right?

What? Base? Didn't have a hot tub that big? Maybe it did. Yeah. Premium content. Premium. If you want to hear about our trip to the A's,

you join our Patreon, all it's too it's too hot for the for the main feed yeah i got drunk at seven in the morning today i don't know what's going on it was great i i think we all feel a little bit out of it is that accurate i'm still high from my sleep candies i'm still high from my niece's birthday party yesterday. She slapped me in the face. Felt good. Got it. I needed to wake up. I do love a toddler slap.

And they love slapping. And they're so strong. It was hard as shit. Yeah. Well, it's a tiny hand, so it really snaps. Yeah. And it was a double, too. It was a real quick double.

She got me twice. She kept on you. What was the inciting incident? I've been telling her to do that. Okay, that was the inciting incident? I've been telling her to do that. Okay, that was the inciting incident. She got... My niece was dancing with my brother, not her dad,

her uncle, and then his daughter got jealous, and so then I felt like she was sad, so I went to go pick her up, and then she fucking clocked me in the face. Yeah. Yeah. Strong little woman. She said, you're not Uncle RJ, bitch. If you go into the jungle, you're going to see some tigers.

You know what I mean? That's a little bit on you. It was my bad. Honestly, I got too big for my britches. All of us in our collective britches today are drafting things that should be categories of things that you should get an Oscar for slash things that should be categories of the Oscar. We're drafting different things today. Interpreted.

You know, I went to the de Young Museum here in San Francisco yesterday. Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful museum. And they had a exhibit where it was kind of a game of telephone of paintings where they kept like interpreting this different painting over and over and over again and there were a ton of different takes and it made it beautiful and I think that's what we're going to get today here on All Fantasy Everything

I'm going to read what it says we can do things there should be an Oscar for like stuff we enjoy in movies oh you added the movies part and I sort of cut off right there because I was probably driving or something.

You were probably getting slapped by your niece. I was probably getting slapped around because people want to come for the big dog. But yeah, I missed that second part and you know, that's on me. I got to own up to that, take responsibility, wear it on the chin today. It's important to take accountability.

That's a mamba mentality right there. It's a good lesson for all of us. You're one of the funniest people I've ever met in my whole life. No. That's true.

And I've met a lot of funny people. You are. Sometimes she says shit like that and she sounds very Italian. And then you remember.

She sounds like Ian Looks. My cheeks are already red. I feel this is going to be an embarrassing pod for me, but I'm just going to enjoy my friendship with my friends. That's what's going to happen. It's all about loyalty and accountability and family. You think about it. And the red sock.

Ooh, the calamari. and accountability and family. You think about it. And a red sock. Ooh, and a calamari. And dropping the last vowel off of foods. My dad does that. What is that about? I'm watching The Sopranos At some point, a conscious decision gets made

by Italian men to stop dropping until just be like, I'm of an age now, yeah, where I say spaghet. I thought I was saying manicotti wrong. My dad says ricotta.

He says mozzarella. Yeah. Why? It's just how it is. I think he enjoys it. He gets a little spark of joy. It's like an Italian affectation. Oh,

there's the next week's word right there. Affectation? You set the bar, my friend. Sean really loves a five-syllable A word. What if you could get into antiquated affectation in the next week? That would be crazy. Wow, like a cravat. Yeah.

A cravat is an antiquated affectation. Oh, man. A cravat. You're just making a ska band right now. What kind of pasta is that? A cravat. A cravat. With a cravat.

I wish we guys, I wish we were in person having some fucking spaghetti right now. That would be fun. Just a couple of friends around a round table just going in on some pasta. That's living right there. We should go to Dantana's.

We should go for like a big red sauce Italian dinner. Oh my God, we should. I took Amy there for her birthday once two months late. It was really nice. Our producer Isaac Lee chiming in via the chat saying he was there last night. Isaac, you have a microphone. You're welcome to join us. I could have just spoken, but I was there last night. It was delicious.

Were you on a date, Isaac? No, I was with four other men, including an assistant coach of the Golden State Warriors. Is that true? Yes. I was with two musicians, Kevin O'Connor and an assistant coach of the Golden State Warriors. Kevin O'Connor is a basketball journalist.

There's a lot of sportsy men at Dantanas. I feel like we saw some basketball players there for sure. Kevin O'Connor's a basketball journalist. Basketball writer. There's a lot of sportsy men at Dantanas. Sure are. I feel like we saw some basketball players there for sure. And I've seen one of the guys from Entourage there. I was just going to say, they talk about, was it E? Was it? He was very, very small.

E. Yeah, that was E. He was there with his father, I believe. Kevin Connolly. He always talks about going to Dantanas. I do think that, I was wondering, like, the name. He was there with his father. Kevin Connolly. He always talks about going to Dan Tannis. I was wondering, like, the place, those old school Italian restaurants are so small, and the tables are so small, and the chairs are so small. I was looking at those big dudes, like, how are they going to sit at that table?

They definitely got to get a booth, those guys. Yeah, did they? I'm sure. I don't know. They just look too big for the place. Yeah, Ian, would you say LaMarcus Aldridge would be comfortable in one of those chairs? I think he'd need two of them. Yeah. You think LaMarcus would be able to fit his piece on one of those tiny chairs while he has some calamari?

His manicot. It depends. Was the chair made in the old country by fine craftsmen? Or was it, you know, made here? Was it an antiquated affectation? What? I can speak on that. Where's crying?

It's sausage. From his man of cock? Is that what you're trying to make? I think you just said man of cot. No, man of cock. I said man of cock. You did the man of cock you took it to one extra level

oh dear wow we really got going on that one oh blue Jordan over there the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game though not at all antiquated of rock paper scissors played between the three of you when we throw on shoot

here we go I am not good at this. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. How can you not be good at rock, paper, scissors? Oh, the winner wins. Unnatural victory. She's paper.

A paper against two scissors. It's the devil's victory, but it is a victory nonetheless. Oh. I've never won rock, paper, scissors in my life. And I just won by losing. Well, wake up and face a brand new day.

Wow. It's a squid game. It's a squid game. It's a squid game, you understand. Double scissors. As the winner of rock, squid game. Wait, rock, paper, squid game. There we go.

Squizzers. Nice. Squizzers. Squizzers. Sipping on some squizzer. It is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft right i know we go through this every time and i will die without knowing what a serpentine draft

is i'm proud of that what who should be someone could explain it who should i pick first to my own advantage? Myself? Well, no one's going to step on any of your picks, I don't think. So, it could be all right.

You could do all four of yours at the very end. Tell me what to do, guys. I need some guidance here. Well, we should maybe explain what a, that's an excellent question.

It's like a tide. And what is that? It's an excellent question. Sean? When the tide rises, so that there's the tide on the beach, you know, it kind of goes back and forth. This may have been changed. a nice little question, Sean. What is it? When the tide rises, so there's the tide on the beach, you know, it kind of goes back and forth.

This may have been changed. Tides, I understand. Yeah, I'm with you so far. So the tide will be low. It'll be a big lot of room on the beach and it will slowly creep up to high tide and it will stay as such for minutes. I don't know how long it like stops the tide,

but then it goes back and it starts to fade back down the beach and then it will go to low tide for... Well, it doesn't stick. I mean, it goes back and it starts to fade back down the beach and then it will go to low tide. Well, it doesn't stick. Is it like a direct turnaround? It goes back immediately. But it's so slow that you just can't see it. It doesn't ever... Gravity doesn't stop for a minute.

Yeah. Okay, so who should I pick first? That's a great question. Basically, if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Blair, it truly could not matter less. Okay, I'll just go, I'll do, I'm going to go fourth.

Alright. When I say it could not matter less, it's literally the most important thing that's ever happened in podcasting history. Oh, you tricked me? Yeah, I did. I did. I did. Fuck. Should I go first? You can. You won rock, paper, scissors for the first time. This is going to be, fuck should I go first you can if you won rock paper scissors

for the first time this is gonna be I'm gonna be so humiliated by this draft like you don't even know what's coming um I'm gonna go fourth

I'm just don't even yeah I'll go fourth alright and where would you like everyone else to go oh my god I forgot I have to do this

this is crazy um I am how hey i'm gonna how about this okay i'm gonna go i'm gonna go amy first um because yeah and um and then oh god oh my god i gotta go pick between you guys what is this fucking sophie's choice This is sick gay musical in here. If it is Sophie's Choice, only one of us stands to suffer. So yeah, I think I'll be all right.

They didn't come for the Irish. Oh, you're volunteering yourself then? Okay, then I'll put me in second and third. That was really generous of you, Sean. Thank you. That was stressful as hell for me. Okay, so Amy Ian Sean Blair.

Amy Ian Sean Blair is the order of today's categories they should have at the Oscars draft or whatever. And we will get to that first pick from comedian Amy Miller right after this short break.

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And we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. Everything already in progress. The only podcast that has ever existed. This is it. All fantasy. Everything. Right.

You want to listen to something that isn't, uh, Alison chains. It's all fantasy. Everything. Rarely do I want to listen to something that isn't Alison chains. Lane. Are you still in your Alison chains phase?

Dude. Lane Staley was touched by the gods. My friend, that guy, that guy had a voice set of pipes. I'm still in your Alice and Chains phase, dude? Layne Staley was touched by the gods, my friend. That guy had a voice, set of pipes. I'm still listening pretty heavy, yeah. Amy Miller, you have the first pick in the things that should be Oscar categories

or whatever. All Fans of Everything Draft. Who knows? Who knows what we're picking? I might change a couple picks. I wish Blair wasn't last. I don't even know where she's going. I am so glad I'm going last because then I can just delay what's going to happen.

Yeah, but it's going to happen twice in a row when you go last, you see. I didn't know that. You know, I don't understand a serpentine draft and I never will. Amy, I'm so glad you're going first, bitch. You could pull me your way. We could end up together at the end of this hike, the top of a mountain that you created.

I'm changing all my picks. Maybe. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Okay. I feel like this conversation is already started after this last Oscars, and I'm just seizing a moment.

Let's just do it. Best dog. Give a dog an Oscar. Yeah. We all want to. It'll bring the country together. It'll be fun, cute, touching. It's going to be gnarly when that dog dies.

Because then Oscar winner dog has passed. It's just, it's going to be more, it's going to pull your heartstrings, but let's do it. Now maybe someone will care about In Memoriam once the dog dies. Oh God, I'll be losing it. Let's put all the animals in there. Yeah. But listen, put bow ties on them a little dress you know who are you wearing red carpet for dogs it's like the puppy

bowl but for the dog actors are you open to opening this up to a category for all animals or do you just want this to be dog specific because we had some good donkeys last year okay i mean the thing is like a lizard's not going to be well behaved at the ceremony. No, fuck lizards. I fucking hate reptiles. They're so stupid. You're not on lizards?

No, look, I'm an amphibian bitch. I don't fuck with reptiles. They're nasty. Too dry. She likes to be moisturized. You'd be okay with a newt but not a gecko? I love a newt. A newt's fine. Yeah. They have some sign of life to them.

Is it because they're so dry? Yes. I hate the dry. I hate also their sinister little vibes. Like, let your heart, open your heart, you know? Yeah.

A newt is more welcoming than a lizard. Exactly. Yeah, because it's wet. Yes, exactly. I just think we're going to get into some behavioral issues if we open up to all animals. But I mean, we'll see how it goes. Let's start with dogs. Maybe we could branch out to like a horse or something.

The dogs are going to be the Meryl Streep of this category. It's like they're going to be in there every year. Yes. But I feel like what if you get a penguin in there? They don't even need to really dress up anymore than they already are. They came out of the shoot dress for the Oscars. They're show ready. They could dress down, you know, as like just a nod to like, we know what we look like.

Like put some board shorts on. Jeans. Cargo shorts. Big Ocean Pacific tall tee. Yeah. No, that's more people's choice awards vibes, probably. Yeah, you're probably right about that. Just their little feet coming out of the bottom of the t-shirt.

It would be, if you open it. Like, I feel like The morning after Ian if you ever Fucked like a very Short lady Yeah yeah Like her in your tea Back in my

Back in my Three exile Tall t-shirt days That's comfy That's just nice I just like to move around You know Big boys big tees

You know You're always comfy I love wearing A huge man t-shirt. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Me too. Yeah, I don't mind it.

Big old man hoodie. I'm a man hoodie. Oh, yeah. Hits right above the knee. You're like, I'm really someone here. And you're feeling like Ariana Grande. I'm a penguin at the Oscars. A little tiny wisp of a woman like Ariana Grande.

What was her like? She was doing a voice at the Oscars. Like the smallest, tiniest lady. It was a very antiquated affectation. It was indeed. It was old Hollywood. I think she's going through it.

People are assholes. Of course she's going through it. They gave her shit for being big and then she lost weight and people are saying she's too tiny. That's the craziest shit. People gave Ariana Grande shit for being big? I think he's thinking of Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato.

No, but they did that to both of them too. That happened with Ariana Grande. It's really to every lady. Yeah, I'm saying. For the worst, I get it. But Ariana Grande caught flack for that? I feel like she's... And now she's catching shit for being too small, I'm saying. For the worst, I get it. But Ariana Grande caught flack for that? I feel like she's... And now she's catching shit

for being too small, which is insane to do to someone. But what do you expect? My hair first got so small, too. And she lost the weight. Anyway, just a round of applause

for Sean's feminism. I wish the female god upstairs would look down and, you know, help out a little bit. God's a woman. Flood this earth. That's what I'm saying, Sean.

Tell him. Flood this earth. That's what I'm saying, Sean. Tell him. Flood this wretched land. Mother God. Yeah, sweetheart. Smile up there. I think I'm going to stick with best dog and not open it up to farm animals at this point. Okay. Who do we think are some of the big best dog winners? I mean, is Air Bud sneaking in there?

I mean, that's an achievement. Beethoven. Shadow from Homeward Bound. That's a tough category. I mean, is Air Buds sneaking in there? I mean, that's an achievement. Beethoven. Beethoven. Shadow from Homeward Bound, voiced by Don Amici. That's a tough category. Because it's Chance and Shadow, right? Yeah. But the acting on Shadow is, you know, it's top tier. Chance is just being a goofball.

That was like the fucking saddest movie in the world. Oh, my God. Loved that shit. What about like O-Dog from Menace to Society? Would that come? Could I sneak him in the world. Oh my God. Love that shit. Wait, what about like, Oh, dog from menace to society? Would that, could I sneak him in? Yeah. My favorite dog.

Forrest Whitaker. Is he up? What about that pug from men in black? He's real sometimes, right? He's cute as hell. I think this is an old, this is an old one,

but I think Nanook from a lost boys. Uh, Corey, Corey Hampton. If we're allowing pugs, can Paul Giamatti run in this category? Why wouldn't we? This is an old one, but I think Nanook from Lost Boys. Oh, so beautiful. If we're allowing pugs, can Paul Giamatti run in this category? Why wouldn't we? Okay, if Paul Giamatti's a pug, call me a dog lover, baby. I like to take that guy for a spin.

We can talk about books on the way to In-N-Out. Giamatti for a spin? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? books on the way to in and out Giamatti for a spin yeah are you catching the Giamatti wave are you no catching the wave you're riding the wave before the set even started baby okay she calls him Paul Giamatti

yeah everyone's all of a sudden like oh Paul Giamatti I'm like I've been here bitch okay you're talking to two billions boys here so we've been on the I've watched all seven seasons I almost cried

at the finale incredible show I haven't seen it a lot of people haven't but I ran hard for billions is I parked so I parked a little crooked and I got out

and then we came back in. We came back out to the car and I was like, oh, I parked crooked. I look like an asshole. Why didn't you bring that up? And Laura goes, I thought that you would think

I was nagging you. And I was like, I think nagging is a bit of an antiquated term for a marriage. So that's where it came from. Yes. I just remembered that.

That's perfect. Let's go. And I said, harp. I was like, I wouldn't think anything Let's go. And I said harp. I was like, I wouldn't think anything. If you park like that, I'd make fun of you in a heartbeat. So that's not,

that's just being funny. the car just floated right away. It's in another spot. Sean learned a word. Yeah, not even from a book. Heaven forbid I learned a word from a book. I just,

I learned it from, um, Is that word in the dirt? No. No. Unless they're talking about shirts at parties. These are some antiquated quaaludes, but we get them anyway.

Antiquauludes. What antiquauludes? Stop. I'm looking to get my hands on a quaalude. How many years back were we? I think they just changed, right? They still make the same sort of get lewd so what is

the equivalent in modern day time I don't know Xanax but even better ketamine really ketamine I thought was sounds like a party drug it is tranquilizer yeah it's a horse tranquilizer

this whole time I thought ketamine was like an upper. Nope. No. Absolutely not. You fall in that K-hole, bro, one of your pupils is bigger than the other, and you are floating, baby. Oh, yeah, because I don't fuck with uppers. And that's what you need, which is hilarious.

No shit. You're so sleepy. Yeah, I'm the sleepiest bitch alive. Sleepiest girl that's ever lived. Best dog. The first category. Time for me to make my pick. All right. Okay, I want to do best director in a film where,

I mean, God bless them for trying. Where this year it would have gone to, and like, and succeeding, or you could also call this best achievement in intellectual property, where Greta Gerwig deserved an Oscar for making what could have been the worst movie of all time

into one of my favorite things I've watched in a long time. Yeah. It was great. It could have been like Malibu's most wanted level bad but it's so good i mean that's what ken probably what would have been to a lot of people if they just were like yeah i'm gonna do it they would have made them like that that's a good point you know what's

so crazy is like all these execs they don't think like that they're like they're not like oh we need an obscure indie director writer to write the course of what this very commercial idea could be. But that never crosses the mind of these fuckers, you know? Yeah, it goes wrong. They always put it in like the hands of like a technical Marvel and not like a creative Marvel. And Greta Gerwig is like kind of both. But like all these IP properties, I i mean you've seen it go wrong time and time and time and time and time again from like battleship to yeah well i mean you name it

like honestly carter i don't want to rip on taylor kitch too much but john carter up in there well that's like a yeah i guess that's a book adaptation but even they still got it wrong they still got it wrong like bob hoskins super mar Brothers. Almost always goes wrong. Hey, now, come on. It almost always goes wrong. And it's so amazing when it goes right. And I do believe that it is a, like when someone's adapting a video game or a toy or a board game or like a TV show from the 70s,

it's like amazing when they get it right. And I do think, especially, I mean, it seems like Hollywood is maybe getting out of that model a little bit more now, hopefully, knock on wood. I don't think so. Yeah, maybe, but maybe not.

So I do think that good directors should be rewarded for and awarded for achievements within that zone. No, you need a fucking freak to make a hard choice that's gonna be like an obscure choice to write the shit of the magnitude of this project i loved oppenheimer and i don't know if it, maybe it was a better film or whatever than Barbie. But I think what Greta Gerwig did was way more impressive and harder.

Yeah, that was a high wire act. Yeah. And a money making juggernaut, which is like all they care about, right? And no award for that. And then also like had a good message um but made so much fucking money it's like it's like capitalism at its finest yeah right it was massive also i just and i think this about comedy too like we see more fun movies like we need more fun comedy like everything's so goddamn serious outside maybe that would be like a good category

no let's move on we'll move on we'll move but this is on me i mean this is an award this is where you give this to the christopher dolan batman movies right or you give this to the in my opinion like the first kingsman movie where you're well maybe that wasn't an ip thing but that's more of the god bless this person where you're like, they made a fun, dumb movie, but they did such a good job of it. And this will never run in any of the major categories,

but like, yeah, they, they made just like a fun, dumb, great movie. So I guess the Kingsman wouldn't count since it's IP, but like,

this is where you give those awards for spy, you know, even into the spider verse or something like that, where it's like, Oh my God, you took a Spider-Man movie and you made it something none of us have seen before. That movie was incredible. So good. I think also because we're like kind of 80s babies that, yeah, the toy movies were like particularly atrocious. Yeah. Except for Lego.

Lego, Batman. I mean like when this shit started, it just, yeah, it started off bad. And so it was brave of her to come back around and just make it so good. And for less money than a Marvel movie. And made so much more. Fucking knocked it out of the park.

She deserves some kind of Oscar. And in a perfect world, she'd have it. Sean Jordan. Time for your first pick. Lifetime achievement for dope movies in a row. Oh, all right. As an actor? Yeah.

Or director. Honestly, anyone. Anyone that just has a bunch of hits in a row with no stinkers. Sure, if there's a dog that's in six dope movies back to back, no stinkers in the middle, that's what I'm talking about.

I think people should get some credit for making those good choices and having them all hit like right in a row. Nicolas Cage is going to win every year. I know it's hard to find like

and we've done this before. We've talked about movie runs. Like I can't remember exactly who we picked, but it's hard to find one that doesn't have a bad one in there. So, you know, just finding like,

Tom Cruise did Top Gun Color Money Cocktail right in a row. Longer than that, but I mean, just with nothing bad in there. And, you know. I mean, some people would disagree with you. Some people would be wrong. About Cocktail, for example.

Cocktail's fantastic. It's not a good movie. It's not a good movie. Basically started Applebee's, but you know, whatever. Rob Reiner, the director, did Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Misery,

and A Few Good Men all in a row. That's like an insane run. Yeah. Give someone a little shine for making all the right choices for a minute, you know? Just on a heater right there. Yeah. Tom Hanks, he would have taken this home a minute, you know? Just on a heater right there. Yeah.

Tom Hanks, there's no, like, he would have taken this home a few times, right? Oh, yeah. I imagine. Some of those 90s runs, dude? Although sometimes he throws a stinker, like a bonfire of the vanities in there. Well, like, but, you know,

I was going to say, like, the terminal, but some people love the terminal. You can't, but we're not saying that's not a good movie. I think we would go to the late 80s, early 90s run. Yeah, like the Burbs, Sleepless in Seattle. That's late 90s, but yeah. All right, let me see if I can find the best

Tom Hanks run here. Kevin Costner. Are you a Costner? Are you a Costner to be the Bosner? Guy owns a restaurant in South Dakota. He's got my vote. All right, here you go. He's got my vote. Even when he's 65, he can take my vote. Alright, here you go. He's got my vote. Even when he's 65, he can take my vote. He's gorgeous. In a faded

suede jacket over a chambray shirt. Just pulling up on an Indian motorcycle. I let him get in my cowboy boot, huh? Tom Hanks run starting in 1992, starting with A League of Their Own with A League of Their Own A League of Their Own

Sleepless in Seattle Philadelphia Yes Forrest Gump Apollo 13 Toy Story That Thing You Do Saving Private Ryan

You've Got Mail and then Toy Story 2 and then The Green Mile Your Mileage May Vary but people liked it It's still a hit though Castaway He's Not Even Done and then Road to mile your mileage may vary but people liked it it's still a hit though castaway

he's not even done and then road to perdition might be where it's road to perdition is great you don't like road to perdition that was incredible road less traveled I wouldn't call it a heater what's after road to perdition well then he picks it back up catch me if you can I love that movie and then

the definitive end of the run is the lady killers why does Tom Hanks have AIDS in this movie? Wait, why did I do it as Shane? Why is Tom Hanks? I was like, Shane? What did Tom Hanks ever do to piss you people off? Oh, my God. That's an incredible Shane.

Tell him. I was doing Ian's joke. Oh, no. Tell Shane. Problem. That's right. He thinks he sounds like Idris Elba. I don't know what he thinks he Oh no, tell Shane. That's the problem. That's right. He thinks he sounds like Idris Elba. I don't know what he thinks he sounds like,

but when we do that, he's like, doesn't sound a thing like me. Yes, it does. We're a bully. You eat cereal with a fork. By the way, come out to Shane and I's Big Rib Rodeo

at Moontower Comedy Festival. What? You guys are doing it again? Oh yeah, baby. Very fun. Which era of guys are doing it again? Oh, yeah. Very fun. Which era of Moon Tower is it? What week? What week?

What week is that? When are you there? And please book me on that show. Oh, yeah. You are welcome to be on it as long as you're fine with the rib-eating bull riding contest because many people do not wish to be on the show.

What an insane thing to not want to do. Oh, it's on Friday the 19th at 10.30 p.m. Okay, baby. Put me on that show. Okay, hell yeah. What am I taking these blood pressure meds for if not to get into a rib eating contest? And throw up. Because that did happen, Sam.

I'm ready. Anyway, Steve. That sounds amazing. I'm so excited for Moonfield. I'm so afraid to do my picks I just like the fear in my heart right now is solid stream

you want to talk about a Tom Cruise run real quick yeah I talked about one you guys need to get off my sack about it we can talk about another one the guy probably got the award a few times starting in 92 uh-huh a few good men the firm yeahhmm. The Firm. Yeah.

Interview with a vampire, which I like. Mission Impossible. Jerry Maguire. Eyes Wide Shut. Magnolia. And then it falls apart on Mission Impossible, too. But still a good run. Yeah.

Really good. Yeah. Which is weird because also people were, like, talking about Magnolia like it was like a comeback. But I think it was just like a dramatic comeback or something. Tom Cruise falls off for like six months. Everyone panics. It's like the value of the dollar collapsing in America.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like when he went whatever he did on Oprah, people thought that was like a career and not even like a movie. He just had a moment where people thought he was like losing it. Right. It did. I mean, it hurt for a minute.

It was a Howard Dean moment. You know, I was watch that live. I watched that live that interview. Like I was like, it was like I was like home from school, like I had just gotten home from school and I literally remember being like as a child

or a teen, I don't even remember what year it was, being like, this guy's not well. Something's wrong. Yeah, he's losing it. Yeah.

Yeah. I grew to hate my extracurriculars if I had to miss Oprah. I was very trembling. She rules. I don very trembling. She rules. It looks a good check. She rules.

She rules. Jim Carrey run. Sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, that's a good one. He was a master. Started hot. Ace Ventura, pet detective. Let me try to do it without looking at it.

Me try to do it? No, can I try? Since you're looking at it, can I give it a shot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zayn Sventura. The Mask. Yep, yep. So good. Blow it right away. Was it Dumb and Dumber? Yes, it is. Was it The Truman Show? No, it's him in a

big franchise. The Ridley. Yes. Batman Forever. Not great. a big franchise. The Riddler. Yes. Oh, yeah. Batman Forever. Not great. Fun. Not great, but he's fun. He's the best part.

I have room for those Joel Schumacher Batmans. They're fine. They're fun. They're comic book-y. I don't care. They're all over the top. Your next comedian has room

for the Joel Schumacher Batmans. Please welcome Sean Jordan to the stage. Then was it Dumb and Dumber? Arsenio Hall. No, you nailed Dumb and Dumber? Arsenio Hall. No, you nailed Dumb and Dumber. Okay. It was Dumb and Dumber, Batman Forever, and then Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls, Cable

Guy, Liar Liar, Truman Show, and then Simon Birch is where it falls apart. Dude, Cable Guy is one of the funniest, in my opinion, one of the funniest movies ever. Liar Liar 2 is so funny. Uh-huh. too so funny so me myself and irene bitch incredible oh come on my little pussy fart when i saw that live like i don't even know what it would be like now if it holds up but when i saw that movie at the time i was like this is genius it's hilarious it still, it's still hilarious. Isn't it funny? Those movies you see, I, uh,

we went on a boat camping trip with my dad where we just went down the Columbia river and his old boat. And, uh, he, we had like one of those V like a TV with a VHS built into it. And we only brought two movies. I don't remember the other one,

but one of them was little Nikki with Adam Sandler. Hilarious. And I, every night we watch it. I was just like, this movie rules. Isn't this fantastic? Yeah. I like when he does slight variations on the voice.

Because sometimes it's like, up here. And then, oh, shampoo is better. No, I can relate. I relate a lot to Little Nikki, so. Denzel did well Much Ado About Nothing is not that great but you know what Malcolm X Much Ado About Nothing, The Pelican Brief

Philadelphia Crimson Tide I love The Pelican Brief I love all the Grisham films I'll take three of those a year I would read the book, watch the movie and then read the book again I was such a Grisham head. Okay, here's another Denzel run.

And then I swear to God, we'll move on. The Hurricane. Remember the Titans. Training Day. Your mileage may vary on John Q and Antoine Fisher. And out of time. All right, never mind. I was trying to get to Inside Man.

Or Man on Fire. Yeah, I don't know how long the run would have to be. Maybe four at least. Maybe that's part of the rule. Four movies, all heaters.

Because a lot of people got three, but you got to have four in a row that are all heaters. I watched Seagot Game the other day because David told me to.

Yeah. And, you got game rules. Yeah, except for that, I tuned a while. I was under the impression it was a

comedy before I watched it and it wasn't Spike Lee don't get too funny you know big ups to Ray Allen and Denzel and everything but large shouts out to Ray Allen it was a surprise good actor in that movie Spike Lee can do comedy

kind of a little bit do the right thing until it's not Spike Lee can do comedy kinda a little bit do the right thing kinda funny yeah until it's not uh until they got me and Sean talking about it

in front of the theater in Portland were you was it me and you discussing race relations I this is my favorite story I get so

small when I think about the fact that I said yes to doing that stuff with my views and the way that I try to get my points across, what an insane thing for me to get up there and be like, ah, that's cool.

Blair, do you know about this, Mr. Gus? No, I don't. Very well-intentioned movie series in Portland where we would discuss race relations after. Yeah, that sums up Portland on the whole, I feel. Movies in black and white. It was Do the Right Thing. Jason Lamb, wonderful man. Yes, great dude.

Do the Right Thing I did in the heat of the night. Sight unseen, by the way. He told me to not watch it. Straight Outta Compton. It was just such a... said yes to three of those things. And then how long did the conversation happen for afterwards? Too long, Ian. minutes too long ian way

too long until sean said we should all just eat pizza with our friends i sure did yeah i remember when i went on z-way show what what was that show called um and i went on the week after george floyd and i just kept saying i'm really scared right now. I don't know. I, I'm worried. Yeah. There's just, I shouldn't, you know, some stuff. I was the first guest on Yo! Is This Racist after Trump was elected. And I love Andrew T, but I was just sitting there like, I don't know. I don't think I should be here right now. I kept being like, I know I'm extremely white. I have a lot to learn and just know that I want to learn. Well, thankfully, there was no way Sean and I were going to be worse than the audience.

Oh, true. In Portland. Because the lady did stand up after Do the Right Thing and say, what's the takeaway? Oh, I don't remember that. Can anyone tell me what the takeaway is? At that point, I was going. Can anyone tell me what the takeaway is? At that point I was going Like black woman professor

Of like ethnic studies Who like stood up and gave a long answer And I was like Jason you gotta We're sitting on stage By that point and we're like Not a couple of white idiots Yeah the black woman professor just stands up And she's like if you guys could all just shut the

Fuck up Pretty much It'd be funny if you treated it like Comics shut the fuck up, that'd be great. Pretty much. It'd be funny if you treated it like Comics Unleashed and just used it to go into your bits. You know what pizza reminds me of? My mother. A lot like when I was in football when I was in high school.

Blair, we've waited an hour. No. Hit us, big dog. I was stalling. I was stalling. Look, crowd. Look, AFE listeners at home. A lot of things went wrong, all right?

I'm really nervous right now. I got a lot of problems, okay? Anyways, the time has come. I cannot stall any longer. I thought that it was things that people should win an Oscar for. So let me just say that. Okay, here we go. Riding bareback on your neighbor Donna Ronis' retired racehorse when you were seven,

you just grabbed onto the mane of Sergeant Cookie Dull and pulled yourself up there and you trotted around the arena corral. Nobody was there because technically you weren't supposed to be doing it but you know what you did and it was awesome it was majestic shout out sergeant cookie dough for being a real one is there not a category for that i was gonna say where i thought we're making it's the part they don't show on the main broadcast it's given out in the governor's awards right i think there was an mtv movie award i thought this was interpretive like i didn't know it was related to movies like i thought

we were just going award for things that needed a big award i should be awarded for having done this or someone should a pet that has a long ass name like sergeant cookie dough well that's because she is a retired racehorse uh so you just hopped up on their bareback? Yeah, I had an incredible sense of adventure as a child that left me many years ago and have not even been able to get close to getting back. Sleepy. Blair, I don't want to spoil anything,

but is every answer things Blair should get an Oscar for? No, no, that was just the one. That was only one. You'll see from the next pic. Had you ridden a horse before? Oh, yeah. No, she taught me how, but this was when I would illegally break into her stables and ride by myself when she wasn't there unaccompanied. And that's why I didn't have a saddle.

I'm around seven to ten. Seven? It's very hard to get up on a horse, is it not? Yeah. No, seven? No, seven I was, I didn't do that. That was too young. Like in those years between I feel like fourth to like seventh grade.

How old are you then? Like ten to thirteen. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. That's when it was. Are you using the mane to get up on the back of that horse? Yeah. Really dangerous but it was cool and it worked well. I don't even think

I could do that. I don't know. Are there any competitors in your category that are also qualified for this win? Again, I didn't know we were doing categories. I just thought it was the actual Oscar award win two things that needed awards.

So there we are. This is going to be a humiliating podcast. None of the other neighbors were breaking into the stables to get on Captain Sergeant Cookie Dough? No, nobody was around. That's how I got away with my criminal but awesome antics. It sounds really majestic. Your hair, that beautiful hair.

I just wish I could understand things the way that other people understand them. That would be a much easier way. But we would all be the poorer for it. Yeah, I think you're being too hard on yourself because now I know that Sergeant Cookie Dough was around. All right, let me humiliate myself with my next pick. I just want to get my picks over with. Back-to-back jacks. Here we go.

Oh, my God. I can't believe I have to go back-to-back with this shit. It's a serpentine. It's like a tide, like a high tide, low tide thing. Oh, it's so humiliating. Okay. You should get it. Blair, I just want everyone to know that Blair has fired off a tweet

about Sean knowing Joel Schumacher's name. Mid-podcast. You let it ride, huh? Like I wasn't going to see that. Okay. Okay. Pick number two. Okay.

You should get an Oscar for being a vigilante bounty hunter. Take down men of wild car guys. Sort of like a Dexter, but if Dexter just killed people for augmented vehicles that disturbed the peace. And let me be clear. I am not advocating for murder here I do not believe in murder I am just brainstorming kicking around some ideas maybe this man or women or they could round them all up and keep them in a dungeon that only plays their loud vehicle noise on loop for them until they swear and sign unbreakable documents that promise to never be that selfish to society again. This would change the course of the world,

certainly mine, and I think that deserves 50 Oscars, let alone one. Goddamn right. And a couple of Golden Globes, if you ask me. This is so humiliating. I honestly just feel like,

I feel sheer, all-encompassing embarrassment right now in my chest. It's an excellent pick. I'm excited because just feel like I feel sheer, like all encompassing embarrassment right now, like in my chest. I'm excited because I feel like any of us have the chance to win an Oscar in your mind. Fantasy world. Yeah. There's a non-zero chance that I end up accidentally killing someone with a loud car at some point in my life. If I'm hungover or haven't eaten or just like in one of my extremely grumpy moods and someone like ruins a brunch.

No, when I'm on the street and the really loud ones go by, like I feel it like in my spine, you know, like in my organs. And then it does something to me. I don't know. It's the worst. That amount of noise is like only associated

with danger. Exactly. And yet I would rather hear a gunshot. I don't want anyone to be hurt obviously. But I would rather hear seven shots fired than a loud car. No, because that's a less casual experience. These fuckers just do it casually on the way to the coffee shop.

They just want to ruin people's day. They do. They're trolled. They go to places where there are you know, like they just want to ruin people's day. They do. They're troll. They go to places where there are people outside. I swear to God. Yeah. So frustrating. Where they're like, I'm going to go ruin this brunch. Cruising down the street like a crowded street.

Car alarms going off. Babies waking up. Sickening. Me being flustered because now I have to turn the closed caption on. Yeah. I'm on the phone with my mom. The episode of Somebody Feed Phil. I'm reading my Yeah, I'm on the phone with my mom. I'm reading my show. I'm on the phone with my mom all the time

when they go by and she goes, what? What'd he say? And I'm just like, This is why people move to the suburbs. And that's why I'm headed there as soon as I get any coin. Thankfully, we have this Oscar winner

to fix the problem for all of us. Christoph Waltz will be killing people who make too much noise as someone dungeon like sort of you oh that's right dungeon yeah yeah yeah uh i grew up in the suburbs of beaverton oregon and they are not exempt from loud car guys i'll tell you that for free it's true But that's why people get madder in the suburbs. They do, yeah. I moved here to avoid this. Then you get like a periodontist who comes over and like

smashes in your car window at 3am and then runs back to his house. Drives through your living room. Drives the car in the living room. We were in New Orleans and we saw one of those three-wheeled cars. One of those super dangerous ones, but it had probably the loudest system.

I mean, it really sounded like we were in a stadium. Oh, yeah. Whatever those are called where you can rent those things now where they're open air. It's almost like a hot tub motorcycle. But it was the loudest. It was so loud. You mentioned in that?

It was having loud. Craig Robinson in that? Yeah. It was having not, like not being in my house or anything, just walking down the street. I'm like, ah, this is fun. But I would have been, if I was sitting in the house, I would have been livid. You know, a vehicle noise

I'm strangely not bothered by is like an old dude with a Harley and just a really loud song playing. Yeah. I don't care. That's fine. Blasting Bob Seger out of a Harleyley yeah yeah so jackson brown you're like you're just getting over a divorce man you're trying to get out to the open ocean as fast as

possible blast that three dog night my friend get out of here get like a little free moment with los lobos that day like that's not so bad the music i don't mind because that's not like a genetically engineered operation, you know, death vehicle. That's just like, oh, you know, I'm in a mood, you know? Yeah. Yeah. This is the weirdest movie podcast I've ever been on. Wow. I wish I would have known it was about movies.

That would have been good. You got to take this over to Doug and see if he'll put up with this kind of shit. No, he would not. You know, he runs that shit like the namey. He really does. It's a tight ship. We're more of a Coast Guard over here. Yeah, we're Baywatch.

Sean Jordan, it's time for you to make your second pick. It's another Lifetime Achievement Award, but most rewatchable. Oh, yeah. I really, and I, this is what I always bring up, is that King's Speech won Best Picture in 2010 and Social Network didn't. And like, it's probably not a better picture. Yes, it is. Social Network is a better movie.

It's a good movie. If you're being like, the picture, King's Speech is like about something. It's so grand and they're like, it's so important. I mean, Social Network is too, when you break down, it's like about the adventure of Facebook, but it's not like,'t know to me that should have won best picture and i've seen it a hundred times and i'll probably never see

the king speech ever again so you probably watch that movie more than you look at your facebook i i've seen it a lot for a while it was one of the airplane movies. I need to defend The King's Speech here because that is also an incredibly rewatchable movie. I don't know, man. Isn't it like three hours? No, it's like, I don't think so. It's like two hours. It's like British people. You know what I mean? Just talking.

It's silly. It's fun. It's low stakes. Throw The King's Speech on. You're having a great time on a Sunday morning. I never watched it ever again. I don't have any desire to. I would if you were like, if you wanted to throw it on, I wouldn't put up a fight. I have no desire to watch it again. You're wrong. Social network, I watch all the time.

You can't be wrong with an opinion. No, I know. That's why I said it. No, you didn't. That's not why you said it. No, that's 100% why I said it. It's not why you said it. Now I'm going. Now you put a nickel in me. Look at this guy. He's all getting all the fucking tea kettle at the beach over here. What's going on?

I just think like, you know know like you were saying earlier movies that will never that didn't have a shot but i but you watch them all the time happy gilmore social network is i mean that definitely should have won best picture that was an amazing movie it really was another thing that could have been fucking terrible so you just should give it for like hey you did it. Yeah, the elevator pitch on that is like, you know, the Facebook movie and that sounds, it could be wretched, but it was so good. The soundtrack was so good. All of it. And it covers

Bruce. It's dark. David Fincher managing in Aaron Sorkin's script is like a good combination because like, David Fincher is an amazing director, but like very good at being spare and cold. And Aaron Sorkin is very good at writing like stuff. That's a little too cute by half. You know what I mean?

And so like when you put those two together, that's like a two good mitigating forces. And there is a couple of those lines of dialogue where you're like, man, all right, it's a good thing. Someone calmed him down a little bit. Cause he was getting ready to go. And also you get my boy,

Trent Reznor in there on the ones and twos. Oh yeah. Put a little bow on he was getting ready to go. And also you get my boy Trent Reznor in there on the ones and twos. Oh yeah. Put a little bow on it. Yeah. Anyway, I just think rewatchable movies should get some shine. Get a statue for it. Zuckerberg. My most rewatched movies, I would say, even though I've only seen like five movies in my

life, my most rewatched movies probably Hulk, Hocus Pocus, A League of Their Own, Men in Black, Ace Ventura, Crazy Stupid Love. Like that was on TV for like years, just on cable. I've seen that one like a thousand times. I've only seen King's Speech once. I forget what happened.

It's a rewatchable movie for me. I know that King makes a speech. He ends up making a speech. Exactly. He does end up making a speech. Exactly. He does end up making a speech. Like every movie you just said, Blair, they weren't going to get anything. In the Oscars, they weren't talked about.

You know, I watched chunks of it with Max right now. That movie fucking knocks. Oh, it's so good. Coco, don't even get me started on Coco. We listened to the soundtrack of all these movies. Shout out to Lin-Manuel Miranda for making a song completely in The Rock's range. Like, The Rock is like, sings well in Moana, and you know that dude doesn't have a good voice.

But it's because they wrote a song that's like, only in that guy's range. Just right in there. It's very small. Yeah. That's a really good song. Yeah. I'm just an ordinary Demi guy.

Come on. How often do you think they should give this award out? It could be One of those things where they just like Every year if there's one That qualifies, if there's a couple that qualify Or none Do you think they should be given out that year? Or do you think they should like

Five years later If the movie has been deemed rewatchable you could say 10 15 years later 20 I would say yeah you could say I think five years might even be five years is like the absolute lowest you could go you know like I'd say 10

10 at the minimum can you win more than once what if Talladega Nights just keeps winning that's a fun yes that's a fun, yes, that's a fun little, and it's still rewatchable to this day. Because some movies don't hold up and they're no longer rewatchable for whatever reason. So, yeah, that's a

fun little rule. Get a couple Oscars for the same thing? Oh. Yeah, I rewatched Wedding Crashers recently. It was a different time. It was a different time. That's another, like, hotel cable movie. Wedding Crashers is always on

and Talladega Nights is always on. So good. Can't go wrong. Those are movies where I'm usually curled up around a laptop eating food

out of a cardboard box on a bed when I see them. Not the main bed. No, no. Now the eating bed. My eating bed. Shane ate on my main bed

one time. Oh, wow. Yeah. My main bed was the eating bed. His main bed was the eating bed. My eating bed. Shane ate on my main bed one time. Oh, wow. Yeah. My main bed was the eating bed. His main bed was the sleeping bed. Oh, time for my second pick. Oh, here we go.

Uh-oh. You said that like you were bumping into someone in the bathroom. Oh, pardon me. You guys do that? Or is that a lady thing? We do a lot of, oh, oh. I do that in Hella. I do that. She is that a lady thing? We do a lot of, oh, oh. I do that hella. I do that. She's a little skittish.

Oh, no. Move. Is it broken? Best resurrection of a career in a movie. Yes. It's probably Brendan Fraser, right? Last year was for sure Brendan Fraser in The Whale. It does seem to overlap a lot of the time with Best Actor or Actress.

It does a lot. They love giving it out. If Robert Downey Jr. this year for Best Supporting, if you want to consider, I mean, like he was in the highest grossing movies of all time. Yeah, I think those brought him back. But like as an actor, right? And like John Travolta in Pulp Fiction would be like the definitive example of this. An insane year for movies where it was just like

the competition was crazy the Pulp Fiction year. So many good movies. You know who's fun about this is Tarantino. He's really fun about like he just picks weird people and throws them in a movie

and brings them back. Yeah, you're right. I do like that. Oppenheimer was good at this this year where they just had so many white dude roles to pass out to people that they were just like, what if Josh Hartnett was in this movie?

And they're like, yeah, all right, come on, Josh Hartnett, get in here. Midwest boy, I like me some Hartnett. I forgot about him. You know, I didn't see Oppenheimer. You won't like it. I was advised that I probably wouldn't like it. I couldn't follow it. I was advised that I probably wouldn't like it. The four of me, I couldn't follow it. I didn't feel smart enough when I watched it.

It's just a lot of dudes talking. Just in the green room. It's a lot of dudes talking. And the one woman that was talking a lot. Just live my regular life. The one time there was a woman talking a lot, she was completely naked. Hell yeah.

Pretty wild. In Oppenheimer? Love it. Yeah, Florence Pugh, naked. Oh yeah, In Oppenheimer? Yeah, Florence Pugh, naked. Oh yeah, she was naked for a minute. Twice she was naked. She's having a real run right now, Florence. Big time run. She's a star.

I forget who said this, but somebody said about Florence Pugh as an actor, she uses her face like she's not saving it for later, and I think that's perfect. Oh, that's cool. She's so expressive. It's awesome.

Love that. Her in, in Little Women. Oh yeah. She was incredible. Throwing heaters. Right down, right over the plate.

She's so good. I really had to investigate my, any misogyny, feminism, awareness when I saw Little Women, because one of my main takeawaysny, feminism, awareness when I saw Little Women because one of my main takeaways was, oh, I think I finally get it about Timothy Chalamet. And I was like, oops, I don't think that's what I was supposed to get from that.

Oopsies. Sound the alarms. To every movie that Timothy Chalamet's been in with Florence Pugh, it's been him wanting to be with another woman but then settling for Florence Pugh yeah classic criminal

who else did they bring back in Oppenheimer fucking Dane DeHaan Alden Ehrenreich everybody got another bite of the apple that kid from Almost Famous oh Patrick Fugit. Who's going to bring back Dermot Mulroney? That's what I'm trying to wonder.

I don't know his name. Is that the one I'm thinking of? Josh Peck? Wait, who? No, he wasn't in that. I don't know. Patrick Fugit wasn't in there. Who was in Almost Famous?

As the kid, the little kid who goes 11. He's in a bunch of stuff. He was in Offenheimer? Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that. I saw Dermot Mulroney on the picket line, Blair. Oh, that's sexy. You say

anything to him? No. What am I going to say? I would never speak to someone that I loved in my life, so I just wondered if you would. I was mixing up with Dylan McDermott, you see. I know. Classic story about those two.

That's been happening to them forever. Which one's McDreamy? McDermott, right? No, McDreamy is... McDermott is from My Best Friend's Wedding. And that was the one that put me in a chokehold as a child. He's the one in... McDreamy is Patrick Dempsey.

Patrick, Jesus Christ. Isaac, cut that whole part out Isaac No I'm leaving it in I thought you were a gray's head I know I can't Not to be confused with James Marston I don't confuse James Marston with anyone

He's a silly Billy He is a silly silly boy who's been carved out of marble I love him I love him Might be the most attractive huh I got into a push up contest with him once at Chelsea Lately. Guess who won? Got into it.

You? No. Everybody watching. I guess you. Well, that's what made The Notebook, oh yeah, The Notebook, probably my favorite movie of all time. That's what made The Notebook so incredible, so juicy, is that if the guy, if James Marsden was a dick,

it would have been an easy choice. Yeah. But instead, he was his sweetie hot rich man who dressed her. He just didn't know she liked painting, so she had to go back to Ryan. One thing, got to pay attention. Yeah.

That smile wasn't enough. Amy Miller, time for your second and third cow. Time for your second and third picks. Oh, second and third. Oh, shit. Okay, okay. Well, second is an Oscar for a movie where the extras do way too much. I love that. I don't know if you guys like to do marijuana before the movie theater, but sometimes I

do, and I get really wrapped up in extras. I mean, I'll watch the same guy for an entire film if I can, you know, down in the corner. Yeah. But sometimes, in the latest, a lot of Men in Black on the show today,

first of all. Love Men in Black. Great trilogy. So good. In the latest one with the ladies, Ladies in Black. Sugar. Water. I don't know i don't know what happened but the extras in that movie are going insane they're doing really weird shit

like when they see something crazy and they do like what like that kind of yeah and one looks directly into the camera i'm not even joking you they left it in i was like i just know this guy's gonna look into the camera i feel it i'm keeping my eyes on this man that's hysterical the sims acting like yeah that level well you know thankfully this category is probably gonna go away with ai so we won't have to worry about it anymore that's true no extras it uh it always trips me out watching like the background where i'm like, there's no sound. Because, I don't know, I didn't know that until pretty late in, I don't know, being any sort of involvement in this stuff.

But it's all quiet. The whole set, it could be like a rave. Where you're like, there's no real music playing. They're not actually making any noise. It's just those extras dancing in the silence. And it's crazy when you, you know, if you're listening out, the next time you watch like a big party scene

or whatever in your club in a movie and just know that they're all silent, it's dead silent except for the dialogue between the two or three or four people talking. Like there's no actual bartender noise. There's no music. That shit trips me out when you actually look at it. That's hard.

Yeah, that's crazy. I do love thinking about all those people watching at home with their families gathered around like a big bowl of popcorn, like here it comes, here it comes. There she is! You know, like everybody just getting stoked because, you know, community theater Janine was in like a background scene. Chugging her drink for some reason. Her empty cup wearing a watch in a roman coliseum scene yeah like on shows like gray's where there's just thousands of extras like every episode

and there's just that one person vehicle that uh it's actually patrick dempsey idiot there's somebody walks up and they go. It's funny if you I forget. It's like if you do catch a notice of an extra they're always like. Yeah. You can't see it.

Hard face acting. Yeah. Like it's a silent movie. And they're trying not to look and they're trying to have like fake conversations but

it looks so fake. Because it's hard to have a background in a scene huh I remember the one time we shot the upside that was the only time

I was in the background of anything oh yeah and you have to have like a very quiet conversation with the actual person or just move your mouth

yeah lots of pants yeah there's a lot of like oh that's really cool yeah and then it looks so fake oh my god oh my god that's really cool. Yeah, and then it looks so fake. Oh my God. Oh my God, that's what he said?

Wow. He did not. I just say slurs the whole time. See, that seems more real, and I love that about you, method acting. That's how I really am. You gotta dive in if you want to nail the role. Constantly non-sequitur slurs. Just like no reliance

on sentence structure at all. Amy, time for your third pick. Okay, my third pick. Oh, this is really hard. I feel like it kind of overlaps with one of Sean's or it keeps coming up but just most fun to see in the theater. Yeah, that's great. Opening weekend or

again later like a throwback movie in the theater. What's more fun than that? But just a good fucking time. Maybe we saw. Oh, sorry. No, that's okay. That I wish you had gone.

But in like the 4D or whatever, where we're like getting water sprayed on our face. Oh, yeah, that's crazy. And just like really exaggerated. It's really funny. It's a water park. There's like one moment that Jon Hamm just like slightly moves a chair across the floor and then the whole seat just.

What if you were in that chair? Am I in the chair? He's so strong. Like just a good fucking time in the theater. Barbie was that. Yes. Remember we saw Jackass together. That's a great one.

We both had different boyfriends at the time. Yeah, that's true. That was so fun. Dune 2 is like that right now. That's why I just watched Dune. I just watched it for the first time because I want to see Dune 2 in the theater. Yeah. I have to go see it.

It's a great theater movie. I want to see Dune 2 in the theater. I have to go see it. It's a great theater movie. I saw Bros opening weekend and that was like, you know, at the Grove. And so it's just like

everyone cheering at the Nicole Kidman opening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was just fun. Comedies. I wish people would go to the theaters

more often because like a comedy that's fine at home is so great in a movie theater. Especially when it's kind of full. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I thought like horror movies, too. Yeah.

That's all scared together. I'm not a horror bitch. I don't like to watch them ever or at home. But if I do in the theater is very fun. What's that? I never know titles. I never have. But what's the Jennifer Lawrence movie?

Because that was so good. No hard feelings. It was so good. So funny. And I asked my manager, I said, how much money do you think she got to go full naked

for five minutes? And she goes, I heard she got 25 million for that. I was like, oh, would I get full naked for a comedy? I was like, maybe 25 mil, probably full naked for a comedy? I was like, well, maybe 25 mil probably. Maybe. It's such

funny naked too. It's so funny. Yeah, a fight I would do. Yeah, but 25 million. Yeah. You want me naked? I don't know if my tits are high enough, but who cares? 25 million. Yeah. Thinking about that 25 mil will have them fucking pointing at

the ceiling. I would be. I'll do whatever I gotta do after the 25 mil to make it how I want it that's fine and then I'll have come over to my house and demand I get naked for the rest of my life for 25 million dollars yeah I'd go to the DMV naked for 500 grand

I guess I'm just so principled you are a moral beacon in our community. How much did LaMarcus Aldridge get for your show? He got nothing but my admiration for his manicot. Fantastic pick. Most fun to see in the theater. What would have been last year? I think Barbie would have been even...

Oppenheimer was also crazy in IMAX because when the bomb goes off but i still think barbie the the community of it everyone dressed up too like it was i fucking put on a pink shirt yeah yeah that was a big thing it's like we're all doing this this summer yeah that kind of brought it back i felt like we had a few years without that well also because there was a pandemic but but the big summer movie that everyone just goes, even if it's a new Indiana Jones or whatever, like that's just so fun. Oh, yeah.

This is also your Avengers Endgame award, you know? Like that, especially for the people who were fucking about it. Like every time like, oh, I didn't think Iron Man was going to be here. Like it got a huge pop in the theater. That Mission Impossible was pretty fun. That was exciting. Yeah, I love that. Driving around Rome in the little car.

Yeah. The movie theater is dope. Going to the movies. Fucking rules. Amen to that, brother. Amen to that, brother. Yeah, I'm the one. I'm the one that thinks it rules.

Amen to that, brother. Best. Okay, so kind of in that mission impossible vein and this is one that hopefully they actually end up doing uh best stunt it's crazy they don't do that formed by the oh just whoever did the stunt whoever did the stunt it could be a dog is that what you were wondering yeah i guess it's uh sergeant cookie dough huh. It's crazy there's no stunt category. It's wild. Yeah, that's what I've been saying about this category.

About movies. About cinema. They kind of teased it at this year's Oscars with Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt where they were like, shout out to stunts. But they should give a fucking Oscar for it, man. They're risking their lives. Tom Cruise deserves an Oscar for gluing

himself to a plane or whatever it is he does. You know, like give it, give it out. It can be an actor. It could be a stunt person. I'm forgetting her name. That woman, she was in Death. She's in all Tarantino's movies, but she was in Death Proof. I think Zoe something. She's Australian. She's just holding on to the hood in Death

Proof with nothing on it. They're going like 60 and she's not attached. She's just, She's just holding on to the hood in Death Proof with nothing on it. They're going like 60. She's not attached. She's just a dope stunt person. She got nothing for that. They did a little expose on MTV. You do get double money for stunts. I mean, that's good. They could use that to buy a case for their Oscars.

Yeah. Have you seen that video of Jackie Chan like with all of his stunt people behind him as a surprise like he's just on stage

at some award ceremony and then they bring out every stunt person that he's like ever had and then he turns around and sees them all there and then he just starts weeping good

if you need a good cry you gotta look this up and then they all start crying and then they fight he's. We'll do that up right after this. And then they fight. He's a wonderful man. 15 Oscars. We should just make an Oscar

just for being Jackie Chan. For being Jackie Chan every year. Or let him pick it. Oh, okay. I guess I could have just picked this. Okay, go on. That's a good one.

The Jackie Chan Achievement Award of Excellence. He just picks whatever he enjoyed the most that year. Yeah, I'd watch that show. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. The Jackie Chan Achievement Award. He just picks whatever he enjoyed the most that year. Yeah, I'd watch that show. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. The Jackies? He's so joyful.

Sean, time for your third pick. The Jackies. I think the best drunk or on drugs performance. So many people blow it. Phenomenal. But like Nicolas Cage and Leaving Las Vegas. Also, I always wonder this. Like, does anybody actually get hammered and then do their set or do their like scene or whatever?

It seems like, why not give it a shot sometimes? I've been there, pal. You ever seen Blair at High Plains Comedy Festival? High Plains 2022. I don't know if they knew about this category back then. I love it. We think they don't know

that everyone's drinking. Or you get up and you're like, all right, I'm going to try to keep it together. And they're like, they were at lunch too. You know, they saw. I think sometimes people get...

I remember when you get so drunk you get scared. That's how... I mean, most times if I have to perform, if I've had even like a beer, I get freaked out. Unless it's a podcast. Those that's different.

But stand up where it's like I have to remember what I'm doing. I can't even have a drink and do well. That altitude will really sneak up on you. I've used that excuse numerous times. We've all been hit by that during the festival. But it was six six a.m. when it was 6 p.m. one time. I just got so excited to be with my friends.

It was the first time I got to see friends on a road date. And it was just so exciting. And I got really hyped up even though I barely drink anymore. And I snapped back into college Blair. The tank. The general Wild West spirit

of that town doesn't help either. You can get anything here. The visible guns and all the motorcycles. You can give it. It's the worst. It's oh my God. The cocaine and high blends. You know,

another good one is Nardo in, in Wolf of Wall Street. I think, I don't really know what that, what those drugs would do to you. Oh, on the aforementioned lewds? Yeah. Yeah. Where you're just like, okay, I think. I don't really know what those drugs would do to you. Oh, on the aforementioned lewds? Yeah, where you're just like, okay,

I buy it. Yeah, I just think there should be something for that level of doing it. Also, little caveat. Yeah, when people do it bad, it's really... Especially the coke thing, where someone does a line and goes, why are you screaming? We're in, usually, a bathroom. You wouldn't

you're trying to do it as quiet as possible who do you think was sauced up like um that we don't know about I mean I know it has to be

in a ton of people but like who's the major offenders because like when I was watching the last dance and they were saying

that they would like Dennis Rodman that they would just like drink beer at halftime like just crack a course heavy. And I was like, what? I didn't know about this.

Well, apparently, Wendy Williams was drunk the whole time. Was she really? I have to watch that doc. Oh my God. So no wonder because everyone was always like

that she would say shit that no one else did. Yeah. Damn. Not to dip into Sean's territory territory but your boy Val Kilmer in Tombstone great drunk actor is that true yeah he wasn't actually drunk I don't think but he played

he's just one of the best ever yeah when he just sitting there he's like I will not be part of that and he just seems like he's perfect that's a I can't believe I didn't think of that it's perfect Nicole Byer told me one time that if you ever have to play drunk,

that the whole time you're supposed to try to be pretending like you're not drunk. It's like how an actual drunk person would act. Yeah. You know? I've came home and I'm like, no. I love a good Michael Cera drunk. He's a good subtle drunk.

Yeah, I love him so much. Right? Yeah. And he's a good, subtle drunk Oh yeah, I love him so much Right? Yeah, super bad And he's a big coke head Oh yeah, he's great in Superbad, you're right I found a BuzzFeed list of actors who were actually drunk on set Yes And the first one, Daniel Radcliffe revealed that he was drinking heavily

He's like the most famous person for it He was like, I was fucking wasted through all the Harry Potters I was like how'd you do that how'd you get the snitch bitch that's how good he was the Dennis Rodman of Quidditch that castle of mead is very strong he was the 96 balls of Quidditch

he was Gryffindor legend Andre the Giant during Princess Bride. He was always drunk. That makes sense. That one I could see. Jennifer Lawrence says the cast of Hunger

Games Catching Fire were drinking together while they were filming. Love it. Yeah, that's why she made out with Liam. What I love about Andre the Giant wine drunk. You know how much fucking wine you have to have to get drunk when you're Andre the Giant? A lot. A barrel. A barrel.

That's so funny, thinking of him drinking a barrel. That documentary about him, I don't know if you've ever seen it, but they go through what he would drink, and it was insane. It's really crazy. And he would just do like 60 second farts on people. Yeah. Just devastating Opp 60 second farts on people. Yeah.

Just devastating like Oppenheimer fart. All practical effects. I bet Gandolfini was drunk a lot. I bet he was. He was so great. Lasagna drunk. Lasagna, pardon me. John Leguizamo.

John Leguizamo. Gandolf. Gandolfini. John Leguizamo. John Leguizamo John Leguizamo John Leguizamo said he drank between takes on the Mario Brothers movie with Bob Hoskins that sounds so fucking fun are you kidding me that just sounds like a vacation with your

butt yeah and a plumber's outfit we should be in the remake that'd be really fun I would love to see that movie. Oh, rewatchable and lots of good drug scenes. Flawlessly executed. Sounds like an Oscar contender. Dewey Cox.

Mm-hmm. Walk hard. He does everything in that movie, and it's all funny and subtly played. Okay, here. Billy Bob Thornton says he was actually drunk when he had the meltdown and bad Santa at the mall. That's hilarious to think about.

That's what I'm saying. He should be. I mean, what do you stand to lose? Just be like, yeah, man, get hammered and do this. Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas was actually drunk during some of the scenes. I'll buy that. He seems out of his mind the whole time.

Yeah, like really, yeah. John Candy during the racquetball scene in Splash. What? Oh my God, I miss John Candy during the racquetball scene in Splash? What? Oh my God, I miss John Candy. What a nice fixture of my childhood. That guy would have been fun to sit and have some scotch with. He wasn't really a big drinker. No.

Yeah, that's hilarious. This is all according to Josh Gad. Oh, wow. What a reliable source. Oh, so it's somebody who... Oh, no, Ron Howard. Ron Howard said... Never mind, never mind.

John Candy came to set drunk because he had run into Jack Nicholson at a bar and Jack Nicholson started buying him drinks. So that's a situation where you can't really say no. Oh, yeah. You know Jack's a little devil. Oh, yeah. Have another one, John.

All right, we're going to get to our next pick, but first we're going to take another short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a

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Now, with this week, we want to touch a little bit on self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there, it's really hard to find the time for those things that I want, that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know that sounds ridiculous. And I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what they used to be. But I know that's what makes me happy. And it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you

don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything else. Non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever in that situation. You need to set time, get it like I keep saying, get a new set of ears on it. If you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time. You can make time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it. It happens. You can talk to someone, get a new set of ears on it, and they will just guide you through the path. Therapy helps with everything. And if you're thinking of starting, go on and get better help, give it a shot. It helps for learning positive coping skills,

setting boundaries, all these things that are extremely important. It's all online. It's convenient, flexible. They suit to your schedule. Go on and fill out a brief questionnaire. You get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time

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Blair Saki's third and fourth page. She forgot she had to keep going. I just don't understand how bad I fucked this up. Like, truly, I mean... You didn't. Okay. This is the best.

Fine. I'm humiliated. I want everyone to just feel my dark humiliation right now. Okay, here we go. Oh, God. Okay.

I think Russell Wilson should win oscar for making future his bitch sorry but love wins he took that beautiful loyal woman and made her his queen after a player thought he could push her down grind her up and spit her out oh yeah i'm talking to the academy and we're giving that man an oscar they said this this is Blair Saki. I said, oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, right, Blair. One Oscar for Russell coming up. These guys out here always yapping on the internet like Russell Wilson is a simp.

A simp means you treat a good woman like a human being and create a loving family and are a strong male leader with good values and morals. This future can eat my shit, pussy weak boy. Ian, did you write all that down? I fucking felt it. It got tattooed on the walls of my heart. Russell Wilson could use the fucking Oscar right now,

by the way. Getting cut by the Broncos. Yeah, he just got his cut and he just got his ass cut loose. Well, he should have been on it before. Nothing changed. No, this is right on time. He's still walking

with like 80 million. He won. Oh, he's papered up. Can I make a request? Could Blair do one acceptance speech for one of her Oscars for her choice?

I want to hear what some of these folks would feel in the moment. I almost like shed a tear just before I had to do that one. The humiliation that I just like I got this so far. Like, how could I get this so epically wrong? Like I didn't get the movies part. This is fun. The whole point of this fun.

It's fun. I'm having fun. And the winners are going to be so surprised. They're going to be... It's going to be the best speech ever. Because they didn't do anything movie related. Russell Wilson's like, why did I get invited to the Oscars? Alright, I'll go.

He's going to be so grateful that someone's recognizing this. Look, he earned that. Future's a little pussy. Just for dramatic purposes. Cut the future in the crowd yeah cut the future

during the speech he's like who are you you white devil um sergeant pepper what's the what's the horse's name

sergeant cookie dough is there too they're all up front sergeant cookie dough sergeant pepper dough oh this isn't even worse this next one I'm supposed to do

my next one right that's right. It's like the tide kind of how it rises. My mom, Holly Salk, used to win an Oscar for making her damn legendary corn chowder that could launch me to the sun. That's how good it is. It warms and transmutes any bad energy

in any of your cells in my entire body. It explodes with flavor, little chopped up pieces of red chili shooting off just the right amount of heat in my mouth like. It explodes with flavor. Little chopped up pieces of red chili shooting off just the right amount of heat in my mouth like it's fucking 4th of July. Are you kidding me? It's electric. It's healing.

It's transcendent. And the Oscar goes to my fucking mom, bitch. Mom, I love you. Thanks for all the heart and soul you put into shucking that freaking corn, bitch. Even though it makes me shit out little pieces of corn after that feel like pennies

coming out of my asshole. But you got to pay to play, bitch. And that's a small price if you ask me. I mean, Blair, you're going to win. Holly Saki, everybody. She's not going to listen to this. Holly Saki, Russell Wilson,

Sergeant Cookie Dough, all in attendance. Is your mom bringing you to the Oscars or your dad? Holly Saki, Russell Wilson, Sergeant Cookie Dough, all in attendance. Is your mom bringing you to the Oscars or your dad? Ron Saki? What was his name? Probably my dad. Even though you created

the category for her. That's so messed up. Does the corn chowder, do you do a little tortilla strips in it? Like tortilla chip strips on top? Do you sprinkle those on top ever? Well, sometimes. Sometimes there's a little cojita cheese.

You know what there always is? Cilantro because I'm a cilantro bitch. I love cilantro. I love cilantro. Is that how you say it? Cojita? Cojita? C-O-J.

That all sounds right. It's definitely not. You're not going to catch me. Look, cojita is uncomfortable. You're definitely not catching me. You say cojita. It's definitely not. You're not going to catch me. Look, Cojita is uncomfortable. You're definitely not catching me. Say Cojita. It's Cotija. Is it?

Maybe I'm dyslexic. Keho? Keso? I'm humiliated. I live my life in full time, 100% of the time, humiliation. I think you did wonderful. I think you're winning. They were both fantastic picks. Maybe you can go to

your Oscars as Sergeant Cookie Dough's guest to see your mom accept your award. Who do we got in the front row? We got Holly Saki, Sergeant Cookie Dough, Russell Wilson, Denzel. Loud Car Guy Vigilante Hunter. Yes, the Loud Car Guy killer.

No, it's a good crew. Dungeon holder. The large car guy dungeon holder. It's a good crew. It is a good crew. I can't wait to hear Ian read these back. I'm not going to T-Mobile. I'm going to there after. I don't want this.

Sean Jordan. Yes. With Sergeant Cookie Dough and Russell Wilson both off the board. Sean Jordan yes time for your fourth pick with with Sergeant Cookie Dough and Russell Wilson both off the board please

it's Slim Pickens stop the madness and stop the bleed and I can't pick Holly Saki twice so I'm gonna pick

you should get an Oscar for most realistic holding of a steering wheel while driving a car that's a good one. None of this shit. None of that.

Nobody drives like that. Like a toddler. Holding the steering wheel with maybe two fingers and just a little like, whoa, piece of, what is that? Rubbermaid bin in the road? That was crazy. We almost hit that. I'm down here. Ian was telling me this.

Oh, like a bus driver? He drives with two hands and he goes to like he's at like seven and five or whatever yeah I'm about a seven I'm a seven fiver maybe a seven

maybe a seven thirty four thirtier yeah and then drop to one I do one almost exclusively yeah you get to one

but I'll keep it there every now and then if I'm trying to high profile it's one right at noon that's a lot of times I'll go like one at now and then. If I'm trying to high profile, it's one right at noon. That's a lot of times I'll go one at noon. Mine is one until I see a dirty cop roll by

and then I go two really fast and casual. I do that too. The cop's going to look in the window and be like, two hands on the wheel. He can't be texting. She has no malice or evil intent in her heart. She has two hands on the steering wheel.

Sometimes my fucking Prius and Amy knows. It goes, put two hands on the steering wheel. I said, who are you looking at, bitch? It goes, yeah, like it starts an alert. I was like, where does that come from? What? Your Prius tells you to put two hands on the wheel? Yeah, it's not even new. It's old. Where Your Prius tells you to put two hands on the wheel if you don't? Yeah, it's not even new.

It's old. Blair's Prius tells me to put two hands on my steering wheel. Does yours do that, Amy? No, mine doesn't. What? I drive a Prius and my wife drives a Prius and neither one of our Priuses do it either. Neither does my Elantra. So, sorry, I'm not What? It says, please hold the steering wheel.

They saw you coming. Please calm down. They added that feature to your PS1. My car says I believe in you. Do whatever it is you feel like doing out there. Wow, we really drive different Toyotas, huh? Yeah, we do. So that's life. Wow.

That's just life. That's growing up. I'll say today has been eye-opening in many ways. And you still got another pick in a minute. What about the look, the head movements, Sean? Sometimes people just talk too long to the person in the passenger seat. I'm like,

you're dead by now. Oh, that is so true. This chat is not that important. Like, dumb and dumber, it's hilarious. You know, but like, when it's sometimes where they look so long, you're like, alright, so is it going to be a car accident next? And then it's not? You're like, well, you can't do that. You can't

just look over the whole time. You can't. You can take your eyes off the road for a second, but, you know, just the most realistic, I believe you're driving a car. Unless you're a mother, and then for some reason you can look all the way in the back seat. The whole time? The entire time.

That's true. I can look back if I need the whole time? The entire time. Mm-hmm. That's true. I can look back. I can look back if I need to. Just for a quick slap. Maxine. This is a... He hits his kid. This is kind of... Max. Spray bottle. Only because she's a girl. This is kind of... This is a combination pick.

Kind of. It's actor... Fourth and fifth together? together huh is it fourth and fifth together is that what you're saying are you like uh well no okay i'll do you know what i'll just do the first one performance i'd most want to hang out with that's good one absolutely so someone who seems like they'd be a good hang who you you want to like spend time with, you know, and actually like kick it with like this year. God, what would it have been this year? I was so bad at movies this year.

I'm just, I'm trying to think of who that whole, like, man, we'd be friends in real life. That thing. That lady who pushed her husband off the roof. Probably.

Maybe. Oh yeah. Did she? We don't know. She'd be all right. Rami Youssef in Poor Things would probably be like a pretty low-key, decent hangout.

I'm going to go as Noah Calhoun. Who's Noah Calhoun? From The Notebook. Yeah, from The Notebook. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Him and Kevin Conley.

We just got Dan Tana's on the brain, but Kevin Conley's in The Notebook, too. I think I could fit in quite nice with their little fair crew in The Notebook. Oh, my God. Build me a white house where i can paint we'll take those little fucking canoe trips in the rain with all the geese attacked us it's going to be incredible um so yeah just the performance in that in a movie where you're like i want to kick it with napoleon congratulations to joaquin phoenix you seem like you'd be the best hang of all the movies this year. Ian, should I watch that? Did you watch it?

Okay, I did watch it. It's got cool battle scenes and Joaquin Phoenix is super weird in it. Of course. I'll buy that. Who plays Josephine? What's her name? I always forget her name. She's in The Crown. She's in Mission Impossible. Rebecca Ferguson? Claire Foy?

Not Claire Foy, not Rebecca Ferguson. She plays the sister in the Claire Foy years. It's not the girl from House of the Dragon, is it? Olivia... People are screaming her name. Vanessa Kirby. Vanessa Kirby's in it. She rules.

Yeah. I'd watch it. I'd throw on Napoleon. Are you guys going to do a draft about where Kate Middleton is? Yes, and you can come on and draft cars. It's not too late for you to add. Do you want to do a where you think Kate Middleton is mini draft? We just have to get it out before Easter.

That's her announced location. Amy, time for your fourth and then your final picks. Okay. My fourth pick is an Oscar for just like the biggest, comfiest bed

in a movie. Oh, yeah. I love to see a nice big bed, especially like a period piece or like a Victorian kind of era movie. Like the big posts, maybe some sort of Mosquito Net.

Austin Powers has a good one. Very good. Oh, yeah. Big, round, movable bed. Home Alone 2 in the hotel? Yes. Or Home Alone 1. They're done up,

like their main bedroom with all the six comforters and all the pillows, and he just sinks into it. Indies and Proposal just a bunch of money covered in cash what's better than that nothing

yeah this is a great category the Nancy Meyers movies biggest, comfiest or most fun bed yeah I thought we were really on the same page

before biggest, comfiest most fun bed and then he said in a movie and I was like oh I thought. Sorry.

Sorry, Blair, to leave you alone out there. This is a category where Nancy Meyers would be able to take home some trophies too, finally. I'm about right ready for a new Nancy Meyers movie. I don't need one to come off the hot breasts. They keep saying they're gonna and then they keep like she wants to make a $200 million movie and everyone's like, well, or a $100 million movie. That's just for the decor.

And the croissants. The pillow budget is huge. She builds houses for those movies. I think like the cabin in The Holiday. She built or something like that. She's like a full architect, interior designer first and then movie. And then she's like, and to fund that, I'll film a movie, I guess.

Yeah. Genius. Yeah. Well, yeah. Home alone, blank check kind of scenario where there's ever like a kid getting like an adult bed or big like getting the big bunk beds like i wish they were more common even bigger beds for adults if like there was whatever it would take to make an adult feel like you were a kid in a king-size bed yeah every hotel should have one of those did you ever see um cribs with. Sure did. Oh, yeah. And now he just talks about being lonely

all the time. He does. He messed up his life. In every interview with a young guy, he's always like, enjoy it. Don't do what I did. Take care of your family or you'll end up alone with the biggest bed in the world. I got the biggest house in the world. Nobody's

in it. Poor Shaq. No, yeah, I feel for him and I do like his self-honesty with himself. It does suck that California King is like our biggest standard bag. Yeah. It's pretty big.

Yeah, tall gentlemen like you. But once you get in, you know, another person, maybe a dog and a cat hypothetically like we need even more space we need to go one up it's time it's been long enough california sultan emperor your final pick okay my final pick. I just want to say best kids movie. Yeah. Because it should be

a separate category and there should be an incentive to make them good and like artistically respected and not trash. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I feel like if there was the category, then there would be more excellent kids movies that aren't just Pixar and whatever. The only place they pop up now is, like you just said, in the animated movies. And then every now and then, they'll give it to

The Boy and the Heron, an amazing achievement, but not anything you'd be like, sit down, Junior, we're watching The Boy and the Heron, your birthday party with pizza. I remember when I watched it with my dad and, ah, here we go. We're going to get some Taco Bell and we're going to watch Soul.

That's not what you want. Yeah, because it's like Radio Flyer isn't going to get a real Oscar but for a kids film it's pretty good that year. No, they should be able to get an Oscar especially because their lives will be ruined

from being in those movies. So they should get Oscars for it. Soften the blow a little bit. Absolutely. Sorry, I froze. I froze for a second. Well, things just really came to a screeching halt. It was really uncomfortable for me.

It's because my internet is bad. No. I would have said something. It's only cut like ice. Yeah, they're something sean and amy aren't in your hotel room they're they're internet's working just fine wi-fi in my brain oh yeah sean's taking this weird position of defending my hotel's internet yeah i don't know why sorry it's true loyalty he's like it's good I am Man once you come To the club quarters They're gonna fucking

You're gonna get The royal treatment here Did you get a late checkout Or are you staying again I got a little deal going on It's only Saturday Two shows tonight Oh fun okay

Yeah At the punchline Say hi to Johnny And Martine for me I will indeed Thank you so much Johnny Walker and Martine That's who she's talking about

God damn right Are you gonna go to House of Nanking I'm eating super duper clean right now because I'm taping next Saturday oh right

it's one of the most bummer cities to eat clean in no I saw your tweet all I think about is House of Nanking when I'm there it's so terrible

it's right down the street the Italian food right down the street I went out to get a coffee this morning and I saw people walking out of this place with coffees and I went in and it was like one of the most beautiful, whimsical bakeries I've ever seen in my entire life. And I was just like, oh, one shot of espresso, please. I felt there was 19 things.

I forget the name of it. It's right around the corner from the punchline. It looks kind of new. Is it kind of like pink, like pastel-y? Yes, and they do like French. They do like savory weird like tartines and not tartines.

Tartine? I'm blanking on the name. Morning buns? Isaac, what is it called when it's like French meat? I'm out of my depth here. Patés and whatnot. Patés. Patés.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Time for my final pick. And I'm just going to complete the circle. Actor you least want to hang out with. So, yeah, for sure. So just performance from that year that was like the most unnerving or annoying

or any of that stuff. We're like, so it's basically best portrayal of just a creep who makes your skin crawl. Joaquin Phoenix, the Joker. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He would have won it for that year. You could give it to like horror movie actors, that kind of stuff. Give it to Lumberg and Office Space.

Exactly. Just the performance you'd least want to kick it with. Ben Stiller in Greenberg. Yeah, Ben Stiller in Greenberg. Yeah, Ben Stiller in Greenberg. That's the most infuriating character. And I know because I've dated like four Greenbergs

in my life. There's a lot of Greenbergs in the comedy scene. You just want to cave his head in with a lamp the entire movie. Good soundtrack though Which is a very Greenberg thing to say

Sean Jordan Your final pick I don't think this is a category It can't be but best trailer Best movie trailer I think you should get one Almost before You could be like what's coming out

This just gets best trailer before the movie's out So you're just like you have to vote having not seen the movie. No one's seen it. So you're like, ah, all right. I think they all got to be out by the time the Oscars happen. And then they give an award.

Yeah. And then they get best trailer. And then, then you get to have the whole debate on like, did the movie suck? Did the trailer hold up? Were they lying to us? All that stuff.

It's certainly a skill, man. Cause you've seen some movies where the trailer ripped and then you go see the movie and you're like, oh, that was not even half as good as the trailer or it's just like exactly the trailer like the trailer is every

plot point in the movie they do that shit now it's the worst I love a trailer they're so exciting yeah watch them at home a lot Blaine Stockett time for your final pick closing it out just say in a movie at the

end. I don't want to do this. Guys, I don't want to do this. This is like I'm in Green Mile where he just He was cool about it. You should get an Oscar

if you're a coach prime and you have my ass up every day like I'm 16 and again and about to run suicides for 30 minutes till I puke because one of the dumbass girls on my team didn't show up to practice because she got bombed the night before and doesn't take winning seriously because she fails to recognize her own potential and the value of not letting down the collective. force. He's rich. He rates his children. He talks about God. Lil Wayne opens for him. He comes on Twitter every day, slightly yelling, saying some forceful but motivating shit that makes me want to run through a wall. And for that, he deserves an Academy Award

in the loony. So, Sergeant Cookie Dough, Russell Wilson, Coach Prime, Pauly Saki. Get off my corner. You want me to describe how Serpentine Draft works next time? I have never known humiliation

like I have today except for in High Plains all the time. I didn't even think that that is actually what the recap is. I don't like Coastal Sean. I'll say it right now. I need you further inland. I need you further inland next time we record my friend what's my knee do for you

it's too relaxed I do like your knee I've always liked your knee I wish you wore shorts more often I think you look good I appreciate it thanks yeah I'm gonna have them on all day beautiful send me some snapchats I will uh that wraps up the draft fantastic

picks all around. Good work, everybody. Good work, everybody. I apologize to all the listeners again. Like, I take your show seriously, and this was an honest mistake. Uh, I don't think there will be a single soul out there with a hint of a complaint. Amy, you went first.

I think everyone had a great draft here, by the way. I think I had the worst one. Amy, you started us off with best dog in a motion picture, best extras who do way too much, most fun motion picture to see in the theater, the best achievement by a big comfy bed, and the best kids movie. Fantastic categories all around. I went second, and I took best director in a film where, I mean, God bless them for figuring out a way to make this work. Best resurrection of an actor we all like. Best stunt.

Actor I'd most want to hang out with, or performance I'd most want to hang out with, and performance I would least like to hang out with. Sean, you went third. You took lifetime achievement for dope movies in a row. Most rewatchable motion picture. Best drunk or on drugs performance. Most realistic use of a steering wheel in a movie.

And best trailer. Blair, you went fourth. And you took sneaking into your neighbor's house to ride bareback on Sergeant Cookie Dough and then I forget everything else that was around and I couldn't type fast enough

that was the first pick an award for vigilante bounty hunter who hunt guys who drive really loud cars and don't kill them, but put them in a dungeon for a while where they are subject to the loud noises from their car. It sounds like you had Chad GPT on the podcast with us. You know, I don't even know how to get to Chad GPT. You know, I don't even know how to get to chat, Jimmy T. For Russell Wilson being a stand-up guy who loves and respects Ciara and being a wonderful male role model for their child together.

They have four children together. Of their four children together, including the stepson. Little Future. Little Future. the stepson. Little future. Little future. And stepping up to the plate and not letting any of the

haters get to him who complain about Russell Wilson all the time. So a trophy for him. A trophy for your mother Holly's corn chowder that she shucked herself and you appreciate that the chowder that can pull you out of the deepest, darkest spaces, even though it makes you shit

little pieces of corn, like coins coming out of a machine. Small red peppers in there, too. Small red peppers in there. Cilantro, always. And finally, an award for Coach Deion Sanders, Coach Prime, for getting you hyped up like you were 16 again,

running laps of practice because your friend got bombed the night before because they don't understand the true meaning of a team. Not her friend, former friend. Former friend, teammates though. Next time I will be working, going forward, I pledge to this cast here and all the audience members

that I will work on my reading comprehension. It was great. And I will fucking come correct next time because I did not let down the team like I did today. And my apologies are sincere. Well, we love you no matter what. It was a phenomenal draft. We're proud of you. Super producer

Isaac, do you have a pick? I do. I want to give an Oscar for Best Sexual Chemistry. Oh! Like the most believable couple on screen. producer Isaac do you have a pick I do I want to give an Oscar for best sexual chemistry oh the most believable couple on screen like a Brangelina situation who's winning it this year Sidney Sweeney and Glenn Powell

and anyone but you very plausible sexual chemistry I haven't seen that yet it's good it's very good not very good good enough good in the theater good in the theater I haven't seen that yet. It's good. It's very good. Phenomenal. Not very good. It's fun. Good enough.

Yeah. Good in the theater. Good in the theater. We want to hear your picks. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone

on the AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding us down. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to super producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to super producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode, but not before you've watched Girl Dad. Sean Jordan's brand new special. Thank you. Perhaps the only thing more important than tuning in next week. Watch Sean

Jordan's new special, Girl Dad. important than tuning in next week. Watch Sean Jordan's new special Girl Dad. And then tune in next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sha-clackity. He's done it. that was a hate gun podcast