All Fantasy Everything - People You Wish Were Your Aunt (w/ Bri Pruett, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Yo yo YO! What up All Family! We hope everyone is keeping sane in this time of quarantine. We're back again to hang with your ears for a couple hours! Since we drafted fantasy uncles last week, we thought it appropriate this week to draft "People You Would Want To Be Your Aunt!" The GVG is joined by the amazing Bri Pruett because, let's be honest here, who better to weigh in on a fantasy aunt draft :) Stay safe out there everyone, we'll keep doin what we do for ya! Episode Guest:Bri Puett @bripruett IG: @bripruettSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch:T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. It's funny how you just, you can just do it. Turn it on. It's acting, my friend. You know what I mean? But it's not acting. It's me. It's just me being me. It's just funny. There's no off switch. I've tried.

I know that. I've looked for one. I've tried to look for your off switch while you're asleep sometimes. You feel free. I'll wake up and help you look. It's not off switch. I've tried. I know that. I've looked for one. I've tried to look for your off switch while you're asleep sometimes. Oh, it's not. You feel free. I'll wake up and help you look. Yeah. It's not on there.

I'm in there. I was in your room last night for a while. Yeah. Standing there. Man, I wouldn't have noticed. I know. I could have fucking marching me. I could have come through there last night.

No, sir. We had ourselves a little night last night. We had a good old fashioned drunk. Red wine. Red wine. Scotch ourselves a little night last night. We had a good old-fashioned drunk. Red wine. Red wine. Scotch and then red wine. Weird. That is a crazy combo. It's crazy.

I feel like often the other, like, you flip it. Yeah. Often it's like we start drinking some red wine, and then it's like, you know what, I'm tired. Let's bust out the scotch. Let's bust the scotch out. A little heavier foot. Started on top of the mountain.

Also, there was some good tequila was the first layer to the salad. Oh, yeah. We had some of the Don Julio from 1942. Okay. So this is now you're painting a... Yeah. It was a mixed green salad. There's all sorts of...

It was like... We had some pizza in there. What are you eating? Weren't you going to make some pizza? It's made. It's pizza? It's sitting there made. We'll have it in a couple hours. We'll have some pizza.

I can order some wings. Yeah, man. We put it. It was weird order. We're recording these all in one weekend. Yeah. You know, so like it's going to be weird having this all spaced out over the next few weeks. Yeah. Hopefully at this point, major cities aren't run by packs of dogs.

This will be four weeks from now. This will be a month from now. Hopefully we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't hit us up with, hey, that aged poorly if anything happens. Spare us. Guys, we don't know the future.

We're optimistic. Is that a crime? People were like, because I started two weeks or three weeks ago whenever we recorded last Thursday's episode, or now a month ago's episode, I was like, we're right smack dab in the middle of the NBA season. People were like, that age poor. Like, I didn't know. Yeah.

Right. I didn't know the NBA season was going to get canceled. Who knew that? Nobody knew. Nobody knew. That was nuts. I thought, I didn't believe it. When that happened, I was like, get the fuck out of here.

And then, yeah. We're going to go there, dude. Dude, me and Zach were getting milkshakes, and it shook us up. You know what's funny is thinking about when you were getting- I'm glad you had those milkshakes to console you. That's what we said. You were a milkshake. True.

Me and Zach were getting milkshakes. There it is. Yeah, back it up. Yeah, me and Zach were getting milkshakes, and then it was was like the Trump thing, the state of emergency and the NBA series. And I was like, God, thank God for salted caramel. And fucking Hanks, dude. Big, big, big. I'll tell you what.

That made me feel better on us. Like his response where he's like, it's OK. Like, where do you hate Tom Hanks? Yeah. I love David Borey. Please take that back. Not even funny. Oh, bitch. I'm not taking it. I'm not. You don't have to take that back. Not even funny.

I'm not taking that back. I'm kidding. You don't have to do anything. You know what you better do is wash your ass. Oh! Damn! We're reinventing Sean as a wash your ass comedian. I got a catchphrase now. You do gotta wash your ass. You do gotta wash your ass, especially in these dark times. wash your ass comedian. I got a catchphrase now. You do gotta wash your ass.

You do gotta wash your ass, especially in these dark times. Wash your ass. I thought you were gonna shaklackity with wash your ass last episode. I was thinking about it. I was actually gonna shaklackity with the French name for the birdcage, but then I looked it up and I could not recreate it.

Le cage au filet. Le cage au filet. Le Cage a Follet. Follet. Le Cage what? Le Cage a Follet. Oui. Le Cage a Follet? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Super cool.

Have you seen that movie? Super cool. I've seen the birdcage. Yeah. Oh, is that birdcage in French? Yeah. Wait. Well, the Cage of Follies, right?

Yeah, Cage of Follies. I think. Wait, do you two pricks speak French? Do you know French? Is that what you're saying? No, I just know that the birdcage is adapted from a French movie called

La Cage à Follage oh okay okay you know if I just had to write a list of a hundred random things

that you knew and like I'd only known you for like a day that'd be on there that'd be an interesting thing for somebody

to ask you to do man I Ian you got a lot of facts in your brain. I'm a big fat guy. I'm a big fat guy and I'm a big fat guy. I'm a big fat guy.

I'm a big fat boy. The fact boy is back. I know a lot of facts about fat. Give me some pizza, macaroni, and cheese. They always bummed me out when they would start rapping. I hated that. They had that song All You Can Eat. You're like, God.

All you can eat. I know. Were they just like gangbang that Sbarro's? That sounds fun, though. I'd love to do that. It is when you're not the guy who everybody thinks farted first. La what's up? Oui.

Mad true. No, I don't speak French either either But we both look like we might Do you remember those French people That rolled up outside of Fated A few weeks ago Were you there I was out on the ones and twos These French people

Are like Kobe Kobe mural Oh looking for the Kobe mural. Yeah, I do remember that. And the only thing I could remember is like, a piedi from high school, and that means on foot. Yeah.

So I was like, a piedi. And then they had children, and we gave them candy. It was on Valentine's Day. They had the most adorable, tiny little French boy. Yeah. Kobe, Kobe. I wasn't there. If it was on Valentine's Day, I wasn't there.

Fascinating. Yeah. You were in Madison, Wisconsin. I swear to God I remembered that, though. It was definitely Valentine's Day because he was giving them sweets. Yeah, then I wasn't there. Yeah, the little boy, he didn't talk until we gave him the candy. Au revoir.

Au revoir. Chocolate. Oh, thank you. American. You know what he looked like? It was Cousin Nicky from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That little boy. Oh, thank you, American. You know who he looked like? It was cousin Nikki from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That little boy. Oh, my God.

You don't remember Nikki? Uh-uh. What was her contact name? Ross Bagley was the actor's name. That doesn't matter. Mom's Bagley? Ross Bagley. He was also in Independence Day.

Okay, yes, yes, yes, yes. Vivica's son. Very cute baby. I've never put that together. I totally know the child, yes, yes. Absolutely. Vivica's son. Yeah, Vivica's son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, wow. Very cute baby. I never put that together. I totally know the child actor you speak of. Yeah. Yeah. I only know,

I only know Spanish and only a little bit. I learned Hebrew for three years for fucking this bar mitzvah, maybe two years. I don't know a lick of it. I don't remember any of it. I know some Yiddish

and I didn't study any of it then. Bar mitzvahs. I don't think they're great. You can't take this back. I don't remember any of it. I know some Yiddish, and I didn't study any of it then. Bar mitzvahs. I don't think they're great. You can't take this back. I don't. You think bar mitzvahs are bad? I think bar mitzvahs are bad. This is a hot take.

Okay. Here's a hot take. And that's weird because Zoriel does not necessarily reflect the thoughts and opinions of AFV. I like the party. I like the ceremony of it. 100% bar mitzvah and everything, ironically. Worked it in. Got it in there. It's a bit that we do sometimes all this time learning a language when we're like we're we're 10 11 12 13 while you're studying for this you're not 13 that's when you do it but like

fucking prime time of your life to be learning stuff and we spend all learning this dead language it's not dead they speak in Israel, but like this language that you can't really use doesn't help you in business or like any other facet of your life. Okay. At all whatsoever. I'm going to send a pitch to you. Okay. Chinese bar mitzvahs. I think we should be doing Chinese bar mitzvahs. Chinese bar

mitzvah sounds like a cocktail. It could be an extra bratsenau. I also worry that it sounds like a scam. Chinese bar mitzvah? I gave him $500. a scam Chinese bar mitzvah I gave him $500 he fucking Chinese bar mitzvahed me Oh yeah A Chinese bar mitzvah is Manischewitz And soju

No soju is Japanese Korean soju What's a Chinese liquor I don't know Rice wine I had some terrible Chinese Hennessy once. Did you? Chennessy?

It was Hennessy, but the label was in Chinese, and it was not good. I need to circle back on Chennessy. That was very good. Sean, that's that kind of podcast, ultimately. Seanis Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram. Tight cross.

Sean rocking a tight cross. Tight cross though. And also, since it's the same day as the last one, still having a fucking banging ass hair day. Banging ass hair day. That's great. Texted Laura. I was like, man, it's fucking on point right now. It's your fucking.

Get her on FaceTime. No, I texted her. You sent a picture? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have nothing to promote? I'll promote friendship. There you go.

And be, try to do something good. Try to text somebody that you know, tell them that you love them or that they're awesome, someone you haven't talked to in a while. Just be, try to be good. Try not to get frustrated at the store or in traffic or just try your best because, you know, it's tricky. So that's what I'll promote is just being, be dope. I'm going to promote. Be excellent to each other. Text somebody that you haven't talked to in a while you up yeah what kind of person do it at 1 p.m somebody you you fuck me at a very reasonable

time like yeah like hey you up and they're like yeah it's three i'm at work you guys know what my move is when somebody i so so occasionally i'll get a a reach somebody reaching back yeah reach back um from someone who i haven't fucked within years okay at two three in the morning my move is to text them back at nine a.m yes i am so i'm so glad you want to reconnect like let's jump on the phone that's perfect um i'd love to get a breakfast sometime yeah just a real yeah let's get lunch since you're interested in me what is the message at 3 a.m like is it is it just you up yeah it's like what's up i mean you know i haven't seen you heard from you in a while but it's like let's fuck i'm kind of drunk yeah yeah and i'm

like yo i don't even live in portland anymore i could live next door and I wouldn't fuck you right now. 3 a.m. Yeah. Damn. 3 is late. 3 is late. Yeah, 3 is late. 3 is like, 3 is an hour after last call.

Yeah. You just want to hit him up and be like, what do you think you're going to do? You've been home after you were too drunk to be at the bar for a while. Yeah. And I know you have a bicycle. Yeah. You're going to be coming over all for a while. Yeah, and I know you have a bicycle. Yeah. You're going to be coming over all sweaty and drunk. Gross.

Some sort of questionable facial hair. So sorry that your barbacking shift just got over with. You're biting your lip. Coming over in a smelly Red Fang t-shirt. No thank you. You can always see the barbacks get real mad when you try to order a drink and they're like, I can't pour drinks.

I can't do that. I just do the dishes. That's it. I make the same, but I just do the dishes. Sorry, I can't get you a drink. Like it was a real. I've never tried to order a drink from a barback. Well, just you see someone behind the bar and you're like, hey, I'll take a gin and tonic.

I can't. I can't. If they are mad and wiry, that's a barback. Yeah. If they're charismatic and they look like they hate you, that's a bartender. Yeah, the bartenders are the face. Bartender all the way over here. Leo.

Leo Energy. Loved it. You were a bartender? Loved it. But you were great at it. It was so fun. I bet you, Sioux Falls, you can drink behind the bar when you're serving drinks. I don't, I never, I've never like really drank with comedy.

I didn't drink when I was a bartender. Yeah. I mean, you're at work. You're at work. Yeah. Thank God podcasting. I guess technically I'm at work right now.

I mean, it's a good thing. It's midnight. So, you know, of course we're recording at midnight. We always record at midnight. Always.

That's why it's not weird. Also, for God's sake, it is a Saturday at fucking five 30. Yeah yeah for the love of pete uh nothing to promote buy your album the buck starts here go ahead and buy it stream it do whatever you gotta purchase that if you gotta stream it cream it work it dip it flip it and ride that b-double-o-t-y uh the gs on twitter cool guy jokes 87. Oh. What do you got coming up? Hi. Who's that guy?

Tell all your credits in that guy. From that guy. Well, I have a half hour. I think you will like it. And then I'm the voice of Comedy Central. Remember that time we were on Comedy Central? This is the voice of Comedy Central. Don't you guys know? Coming up next.

Welcome to the show. Brought to you by Trojan Condoms. If you just showed in one day and you're like, Put it on your dick. This is what I sound like now, guys. Oh, this is raw. But I don't have Corona. South Park is brought to you by pickles. This is how it's always been. I don't get it's always been i don't get to see this i

don't get to see this david a lot who the one that like does it i just blacked out yeah man you don't ever fuck around and do different voices no at all unless it's dmx sometimes when i first started comedy i like told myself that i wouldn't yeah we're on episode four dude of like you know in two days. It's gonna start getting weird. Yeah. It's gonna start getting real weird. Oh, tomorrow, I'm gonna be Donald Duck in it. Yeah. Oh, man. I'm gonna be

inverted Donald Duck in it, which is not what you think. It's gonna be Donald Duck upside down. The right side of my body's gonna have clothes. On the left, nothing. One ball out. Yeah. I'll probably just be naked if that's what we're doing.

Right. Naked, tight cross. But have you ever noticed it is okay to not have a shirt on, but it's not okay to not have pants on. Yeah. Oh, I've noticed.

And I've been told that's offensive. Yeah. It is offensive. What do you mean to not have pants on? No, that is not have shirt pants on, but it's okay. It's socially acceptable not have pants on, but it's okay. It's socially acceptable not to have a shirt on.

It's weird to me. It's like the male top half of body is not sacred, but the dong half? That's saying your balls are more sacred than your nips, and I don't believe that. Mine are, yes. Your balls are more sacred than your nips? Which part do I care more about? Is that what you're asking me? My balls.

Yeah, everybody does. That's probably why. Yeah, but because we're not, we can't like feed a child with our nipples. I think there's like something. You can't feed a child with your balls. Something funny about you saying nipples to me. The way you said it was weird.

Yeah, right? You said nipples. You kind of swallowed the word. Nipples. Yeah, you hit it. It's a Midwest word. Nipples. Yeah, you hit it. It's a Midwestern nipple pronunciation. Yeah, you just swallowed the word. Midwestern nipple.

I think maybe the word nipple makes me a little uncomfortable. I think it does. I think it makes you uncomfortable right now. Nipples. Nipples. Nipple. You don't like it. Nipple.

Nipple. Two big pointy erect nipples. A couple of udders swinging at you. The way David says it is normal. Because David was quoted one time as saying he likes two, like, what did you say? Two Tootsie Rolls on a dinner plate. Two Tootsie Rolls on a dinner plate.

Oh yeah, I like a big nip. Sue me. I celebrate all nipples. That was the only one way to say it. He likes a big nipple though. Tootsie Roll on a dinner plate. Small ones, ones that climb on rocks. Fat ones, skinny ones, even ones with chair rocks. Fat ones, skinny ones.

You know what I learned recently is your nipples change color through pregnancy. I didn't know that. My nipples change color through pregnancy? Yeah, dude. Stress is a killer. Just like constantly? Like when a squid is trying to hide?

No, it's like a mood ring. Yeah, it's like a gecko. She got them gecko nips. Hypercolor, right? Yeah. Any rapper, feel free to take gecko nips. Gecko nips. Little gecko nips.

As a name? Gecko nips. As an ad-lib? Uzi gecko nips. Uzi gecko nips. Little Uzi gecko nips. Little Uzi. That's some good songs on that new Uzi album.

I like it. I like it a lot. I thought it was great. Have not listened yet. Eternal Atake. Too busy listening to Steve Winwood. You have to. Top five. White. Protestant. Protestant.

Tall. Mustachioed. Thoughtful mustachioed male vocalist. Is Steve Winwood thoughtful? No, I don't know. I'm just bravatic. Pardon me, what? That's me trying to say somebody has bravado. Bravado?

I love that. I think it's a word. It is now. It feels like a word. Bravado. I'm going to look it up. That's the name of my fifth stand-up album whenever I get there.

Also, you call it dude. What was the name we figured out for your stand-up album that's so funny? Oh, Sean Jordan, Homegirl in Jail. Yeah, Homegirl in Jail. That's right. I don't even know where it came from. It's just the funniest name

for a stand-up album. You would listen to the album and be like, oh, I wonder when the album title gets dropped. In what joke? Oh, it must be this joke where he's talking about stretching before football practice. Yeah, and it never drops it. Homegirl. Homegirl.

Please pick up the new album. Homegirl and Jail. Oh man, you're Conan? He has a new comedy album out called Homegirl and Jail. I have the, it's gonna be called Feelings, next album. Feelings, I love that. I'm excited about it I like that

I've actually started trying to write around that title because I'm like Homegirl in Jail no Feelings Sean I love this can I take Homegirl in Jail

then yes you can get her out of jail if you want I don't know oh that's the joke if we just the three of us

timed out like Homegirl fucked up Homegirl in Jail Homegirl got bail. That'd be pretty funny if like three different comedians had album names that had to do with each other. That would be tight. Maybe we should do it.

I'll have to do stand-up comedy again. I'll have to make my triumphant return to the world of stand-up comedy. David has an album as well. So buy that. Oh wait, you don't have an album. Comedy Central special. I have a Comedy Central special. Stream that. Watch The Lot

on Vimeo. Yeah. I'm thinking about getting a PS4 and getting into Twitch. I might do it too. Fuck it. If we're going to be home. If people actually want to watch me play Stardew Valley. He hates it so much. I will play Tony Hawk for days

and show people how to get a million points. Here's my thing about the twitching video games. That's a very... I need alone time. And that's a very alone time thing for me. And it's not alone time. It's not alone time if you're twitching. If you're twitching, yeah.

People are watching. And they comment, right? Are you supposed to talk? Yeah, they comment yeah and you talk right you're supposed to yeah be engaging and things well i don't know like that's my thing it's like i'm a theater person you know when you're on you're on you know even here on the podcast we're kicking it but i'm listening i'm responding'm responding. But this Twitch, it just seems like you're not on. I don't I wouldn't know how to be. It's weird.

Yeah. I'll tell you what. If Atmosphere decided to just start a Twitch feed where he didn't say a fucking word. If it was the two of them on the couch watching Hitch or something. Yeah. I wouldn't even need to see Hitch. I could just watch and be like tight. I would have it on.

I would go about my business. I think it'd be fun. That kind of does sound fun. I would. Would you? Yes. Would you really? How long would you watch that for? Probably for the duration of Hitch, I could just watch and be like, tight. I would have it on. I would go about my business. I think it'd be fun. That kind of does sound fun. I would. Would you? Yes. Would you really? How long would you watch that for? Probably for the duration of Hitch. I'd probably turn on Hitch, watch it myself. They're next to me and then I'd probably never do it again. If I'm watching Hitch and they're watching Hitch,

I love that. Yeah. Fun. Guys, we're too old. We're already... It's already done. Yeah. It's not for us. Can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. No, no, no.

Wait, hold on. Did we transition into talking shit about Hitch for some reason? No, no, no. Did you freak out? I was gonna... Look at this dude. I'm glad there's some sort of order in the world still. You're gonna wash your ass.

I think we're talking about Hitch. Your ass, dude. Brie Pruitt is here as well. Hey, hi. At Brie Pruitt on Twitter. Cross all platforms. Cross all platforms. It's B-R-I-P-R-U-E-T-T.

That's correct. Thanks, Ethan. Cross platform. Follow her on all those outlets. Where can people fuck with what you make right now? You can fuck with Faded Every Week in angeles california on melrose baby friday and that new venue is oh so dope it's great and i hope 551 i hope we're back hopefully when this drops and

if it doesn't then we're gonna be on twitch i think think, every Friday night. Yeah. Chungus, yeah. Being fun. At least through this pandemic. Yeah. Don't panic. We'll get you through the pandemic. And then on second Saturdays, I do a show called High Priestess. It is a cannabis and tarot card themed standup show at a love bazaar in Atwater Village. Oh.

And it's very cool. Second Saturdays. Hopefully we're back in April. I love that. And this is going to drop in a month. So I'm going to challenge myself to get my podcast out by then. It's called, you can do it with Brie Pruitt.

It's a pep talk podcast and it's good vibes. It is very good. Hell yeah. She does a very good job. Thanks David. Very, very good. David did the first Hell yeah. She does a very good job. Thanks, David. Very, very good. David did the first one. You just put a battery in someone's back?

Hell yes. Dude, it's like, it's really good. That sounds awesome. Thanks, man. She makes you feel really good. It makes me want to cry. Go get me a LaCroix. Yeah, Zach.

No, don't actually do it. I just want to see. Of course I'm going to go do it. No, don't do it. Don't do it. No. I was going to go do it. No, don't do it. Don't do it. No. I was going to get some water. Even as a joke.

Oh, I feel terrible now. I don't even really want to look right. If we're mixing it up, I am going to go get a glass of water. Okay. All right. Yeah. Now I feel weird. Holy shit.

It worked. Give me a thousand dollars. I could have been a bully my whole life. You I feel weird. Holy shit, it worked. Give me $1,000. I could have been a bully my whole life. You absolutely could have. Yeah, you definitely got the size for it. But you didn't think you had the power, huh? I just didn't like bullies. Thank you, dear.

Man. Should I transition to being a bully at the age of 35? No. I don't know if I've ever told you this. I think I have, but I'm pretty sure I've never told Bree. When I was in like fourth and fifth grade, I started like a bully kind of watch group

on the playground at school. Have I ever told you that? No! You mean like a group of friends who would like bite the other groups? Yeah, but we wouldn't do it like... Almost like a gag. We wouldn't walk around and be like... Wait a minute. We all wore blue. We'd walk around and if we saw someone getting bullied,

we'd stick up for the person getting bullied. Obviously, there's no violence. I was like nine or whatever you are in fourth grade. But yeah, I remember. I didn't know this about you, but it makes perfect sense. You're one of the biggest sweethearts on the planet. When I had my Sioux Falls black belt school jacket, it said Mr. Sean on it.

Oh my God. Adam just hit me up the other day. Again again the fucking wardrobe on you as a boy wardrobe the stories your life is just such a it's just so many nooks and crannies silk shirts on the last i had silk button i had like two silk button ups when i was a kid it's not crazy i think we're the same age and i remember silk button ups having a moment they were they were levi's one of them was dark purple one of them was like a maroon i had a mar remember silk button-ups having a moment. They were Levi's. One of them was dark purple. One of them was like a maroon. I had a maroon silk button-up when I was very small.

Real baggy? You'd tuck it in and then you'd pull it out until it was almost untucked. Ooh, I like that look. That was the look. Oh, just so much fucking wind in the silk. Billowing, yeah. That looks kind of coming back. Wind in the silk.

Huh? Wind in the silk. Put the wind in the silk. That is sex maneuver if i've ever heard one we need to get into kuji and we need to start buying some silk dude i have a kuji you do i texted david a picture of a carl can i shirt i was or was it you one of you and i was like should i get this and you're like i don't know i don't know if you got that it's like it's a pretty bold colorful vertical stripe carl can i shirt no yeah you said to me Did you say yes or no? Yeah, the color pattern you picked was crazy.

Pretty wild. I feel like sometimes people with really white skin, they don't notice when they're like, whoa, a red and yellow shirt maybe wasn't the best idea. One time I bought this dress and it was like a lot of geometric

patterns. It was white, green, black and yellow. Oh, the Africa colors. It was the Africa colors. And I was like, it's just not going to work. It just looks like Africa. It just looks like I'm wearing a dashiki in a maxi dress, which I would ask you to marry me if I'd have met you at the right time. I used to have a cross color shirt that that said no justice no peace on it so

had we met at the right time i would have beat the shit out of it we've talked about that so many times like if david would have just seen me in a dicky suit with a rag on and a duke hat i mean i was like out of a like if you just googled crip that's what i tried to look like and yeah i don't think we would have got on to you not when i was not when i was in my predatory ages like so i was in a home game or an away game because i feel like if you were in sioux falls and you saw that you'd be like a little bit like on your heels just a little bit you're like who's yeah because what i'd already be doing there yeah why are you yeah you maybe would be like maybe sioux falls is cool also there was a range

of time where it would have been pretty much anywhere. I would not have liked it. We didn't have it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm thrilled it didn't happen. Yeah. We're mixing time and space right now. Yeah, it worked out. Temporal moments

here on the podcast. My name is Ian Carmel. I'm Ian Carmel on Twitter. I'm Ian Carmel on Instagram. I am Ian Carmel on Instagram. At Ian Carmel on JewishCVSRewardsPoints. Wow. Yeah. I'm verified on there as well. Damn.

They know me at the CVS. They know me at the CVS. Listen to 9.2 on Pitchfork on any streaming platform you like or you can buy it. I don't fucking care. I don't fucking care. Support, well, Kill Rockstars is a small

record label, so buy it from them. Watch reruns of Boom. Hopefully I'm back at work by now. I have no idea. So watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. Friggin listen to all fantasy, everything.

Join the AFE Patreon. We have extras all the time extras all the time there's a slackity popping off yeah two two bonus episodes every month the playlist will be coming out we should talk about that after this actually yeah yeah watch along and a mailbag in the bank right now by the time you're hearing this the playlist will have dropped yeah yeah but we're you know i guess by the time you're hearing this we well so what kind of playlist we're just gonna put together a list of songs we want to recommend every month.

I love that. Dang, I might need to get on the Patreon because I really like to hear what you guys think. We won't just tell you for free. You have to join the Patreon like everyone else. And I'm committed to it. And I follow the rules. Yeah, absolutely.

I bet you if you want to watch Best of 411 Volume 4, you're going to get all five of my picks. It's a skate video that I'm really thrilled about the soundtrack. Yeah, I'll make sure to get on that skate video.

Burn you! Watch your ass! Watch your ass! Yeah, I think Bree just washed it for me. We're having another disagreement,

aren't we? We're having an argpruet. Whoa! We're having a what? An argpruet. Oh, like an argument? A disagreement, yeah, an argpruet. A. An argpruet. An argument?

A disagreement. A disagreement was way better. Yeah, but I... Shit, man. Fuck you. Well, I'm sorry. A breed of disabree. Feedback is a gift.

There it is. Oh, there we go. A breed of disabree? Yeah. We're going to have to sign a brief treaty after this. Right there on the corner. Emmy over there? It's right there on the corner point to the Emmy every time you nail it

you fucking nail and it doesn't matter where he is in the world he points to wherever it's like Mecca he's got a compass that points to the Emmy yeah yeah join up on the Patreon that was a great time

if you have any extra money you're looking for entertainment if you don't have any extra money we totally get it but still listen still listen to All Fantasy Everything it's been free this entire time but if you join the Patreon if we get to 10,000 followers I'll show you a picture of Sean's feet we're going to do some crazy shit when we get to 10,000

I have a grape stalker is that what it is? no if it gets to 10,000. Is that what it is? No. If it gets to $10,000 or 1,000 members. I don't know what I'd... I want to say I'd shave my head or something, but that doesn't seem fun.

Not on this great hair day. I don't even want to entertain the idea. Dude, let's make you eat tinfoil. You look hot today, dude. Sean told me that pretty much, which is very nice of him. He told me I look like a senator. Yeah. We could do, I don't know.

We could film me eating sushi and just see how that goes. Veggies and sushi? Let's do that. Veggies don't make me want to fucking puke. We're going to fucking, like, just sashimi, too. I tried some fish oil tots with this boy the other day. Yeah, he ate it. We need a fish sauce tot.

Or fish, yeah. You dip tots in fish sauce. They were tossed in fish sauce. Like a fish sauce wing. Makes me want to yack thinking about it right now. It was so gross, dude. I love fish sauce. But it also didn't stop me from doing like 15 jello shots either.

So gross is in the eye. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Too many jello shots. It gross is in the eye. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Too many jello shots. It's all in your head. Yeah. Are you comfortable with telling that Evanescence story

that you told me that one time? I'd be happy to tell you the Evanescence story. Oh my God. One time I was a karaoke jockey in Portland, Oregon in the hottest karaoke spot in the country.

We're packed to complete packness. The bouncers get on the radio. I have a radio at my karaoke desk. I hear on the radio. Oh, yeah. It's security, baby. They're like, okay, we've got a party coming in the room. I guess it's a band playing in town. And I'm like, jump on the computer. Who's playing in town? I'm the Ian Carmel

of the boiler room back in the day. Okay, jump on the computes. Find out that Evanan essence is in town okay i like it like that i like it when you say evan essence it sounds like a like an ex-boyfriend evan fucking essence is in town they have they walk so then i see like a bunch of like rocker dudes and one teeny little goth lady and i'm like that's fucking evan but then there's this all this nerdy guy with them and i'm like who's this ner this nerdy guy? And I jump and get in the, get in the internets.

And they say, let me tell you something, Brie. Evanescence lead singer divorced their guitarist, then remarried her high school sweetheart. And he is a psychologist. And I'm like, boom,

that's the psychologist for sure. That's the new guy. So they find a table. Okay. The list to sing is two hours long, but the nerdy guy comes over he lays like 50 bucks down he's like let me sing bring me to life by evanescence i was like you sure you want to do this that's the song right yes that's the one so he i'm like all right and so

i call him up to sing and he's like can you have help me with the rap part and i'm like can i help you with the rap part you think i haven't been a professional karaoke jockey for eight, nine years? It's almost like you knew I was going to ask you to tell this story. I just ran it for something. Okay. So listen, so then this guy,

this guy, he starts. So as soon as it begins, how can you feel between my eyes? I see Amy Lee is her name at the table. She's she, she goes, what the fuck? Like I see her get so mad and then i see you know her look at her husband like what the fuck are you doing right but he's singing this part and so as soon as we like he doing it well or was he doing it no he can't sing that's a very challenging music part yeah beautiful voice it's very like ethereal yeah

gothy gothera evanescence voice so then she's like ethereal. Yeah. Gothy. It's a very Evanescence voice. So then she's like, all right, step aside. Gets the mic from him. But then the rap kicks on and I rap the rap part. Take me off. And then,

you know, I've been dreaming a thousand. I can't believe I didn't see. exactly the whole thing. I've been dreaming a thousand years. It seems got to open my eyes to everything. I'm like, without a voice,

without a soul, I'm going to die here. Promise seems got to open my eyes to everything. I'm like, without a voice, without a soul, I'm going to die here. Promise beside the boy. Whoa. And then, I'm sorry, Marissa. And then the bar loses their fucking mind. Because she's singing her fucking song. Because she's singing her own song

at a karaoke bar in Portland, Oregon. That's pretty much the whole story. That's amazing. Love that shit. Did they stay after that or did they leave? They didn't stay that long. I don't remember that. Because what else?

Where do you go from there? What is she going to do? Love shack? That would be terrible. Love shack! I was going to say we're not here to just tell stories about Evanescence, but that could be the fucking whole podcast as far as I care. We're also here to fantasy draft aunts or aunts,

depending on where you're from. I say aunts. I always say aunts. I thought it was people that you wanted to be your aunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like we did last year. Yeah, just like last year. People you want to be your aunt, specifically.

Yeah. Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you, and we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! the three of you and we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Sean wins! Wow. Sean wins.

Man, you guys should go outside and wash your ass. You know what I'm talking about? There he is. The king is back. I think I'll wash my ass in your face. I might have just washed it for you with that victory. I'll tell you what. Great. So Sean, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors,

it is incumbent upon you to determine The order of today's draft Before you do that I will remind you it is a serpentine draft What does that mean? Serpentine a lyric in that Roast to 5-9 He's so in it he didn't even notice He got mad at O'Connor for doing that last episode It was Zach

Zach did it two episodes in a row You got usurped though You okay? I like to slurp the syrup in that last episode? It was Zach. Oh, it was Zach. Zach did it two episodes in a row. You got usurped, though. Yeah. Well, you know. You okay? I like to slurp the syrup. Slurp the usurp?

Yeah. Sometimes I'll slurp the usurp. Let's say it at the same time. I will remind you, it's the serpentine raft. God damn it! Okay. What does that mean? Oh my God.

Oh, that's great. We always do this. That's so funny. You guys are so funny. We always do this. Totally. I'll bring it to the set up. It's crazy.

We always do it. Totally David Rhee situation. Always finishing each other's sentences. Oh. I know everything. The rest of the show about serpents. Man, my mouth tastes like candy. Do I have diabetes?

Diabetes? When you guys make a sandwich, do you put a lot of bologna or a little bologna on it? Nobody finished that with me. Where do you guys keep the skins that your snake sheds? I can't mind them. I suck drawer. How often do you guys change the stuffing in your dog?

Where's your man is? You're not at their house. They're not asking to use it. They're asking where it is. Can they hear if I talk like this into the microphone? I don't know. I've always wondered that. Can I hear it? Is it picking it up?

Yeah. Oh, shit. I invented some new shit. Oh! I bet you. The throat of Comedy Central right here. I got too long with the chat. The throat of Comedy Central is a whole different thing.

Damn, dude. So it's kind of like if you're mowing your lawn. Oh. You start at the top and you mow like the or the top of your lawn. I guess your lawn doesn't go up and down. You start at one end of your lawn and you mow all the way to one side and then you turn and you mow down like two feet and then you turn the mower and then you go back to the other side. And then you turn, go about two feet down and then all the way back to the other side. So you just kind of mow back and forth.

So it's like a pretty little situation and there's like slightly different colors of green each other row. That's basically it. You nailed it. That's a great one. Basically, it means you pick fourth in the first round. You pick first in the second. Have I used that one before? I don't know.

I hope I have. I'm sorry if I have. Guys, we're so deep. Who knows? Can't wake up. It's like I got one pretty easy job to do. And that's it. So if I've used it

I apologize but I don't think I have how can I feel between my doesn't really matter how hard I try do you ever just sing to yourself

like I want to do that all the time you have a beautiful voice when there's a song that I want to hear but I don't maybe want to but I want to hear the lyrics

and so and I don't know them sometimes I'll make up lyrics and it'll be pretty far from the, but I don't maybe want to, but I want to hear the lyrics. And so, and I don't know them. Sometimes I'll make up lyrics and it'll be pretty far from the original. I used to want to record an album of Gloria Estefan songs without knowing the lyrics

and just kind of making them up. Amazing. Cause you're just like, shake your body baby. One, two, three, four. Come on baby. If you give it to the beef and to the night,

give it to the fucking beef and all the night. Eating all fucking beef and all the night. Eating all my beef and all my rice. Have I introduced you to my wife? That would be so funny. Like, hear a song once and be like, all right, sing what you think it is. Yeah.

Wouldn't that be a fun show? Yeah. That would be. I'd do it. Oh, it would be great if people guessed the lyrics and then the actual band performed those lyrics. Yeah, that's great. Okay, treatment lyrics and then the actual band performed those lyrics. Yeah, that's great.

Okay, treatment. Yep, treatment. Tight. Patent pending. Ian, you do it. Okay. Nobody listens to me in this business. That's right.

And they listen to me because I'm a man. You got clout, baby. That's right. A Jewish man, no less. Are you Jewish? 100% by Misfit and everything. She's taking everybody's bit. I know. I's from everything. She's taking everybody's bitch. I know. I know the bitch.

She's taking everybody's bitch. Get the hell out of here. I've never heard it. I hear it does well. I hear it does well. I've never heard the podcast. Sean. Yeah.

You are the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors. I am. You've had the rules of serpentine drafting explained to you. What will the order of today's draft be?

You're first. Ian's first. Yeah. You don't get to do that a lot. You still got the hot today's draft be? You're first. Ian's first. Yeah. You don't get to do that a lot. You still got the hot corner. Thank you. You're first. And then, yeah,

we'll just horseshoe it. So Ian, me, David, Bree. Okay. So you got a hot corner, Bree. Hot corner. I did it yours too. Yeah. Hot corner.

Yeah. Welcome. Welcome. Hot corner. Hot corner. David always gives me shit when I try to, welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy. Because he freaks out Welcome. Welcome. Hot corner. Hot corner. David always gives me shit when I try to.

Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy. Because he freaks out before he even does it. Yeah, he gets all nervous. So he has the microphone and he's like, he'll be like, we'll be like, oh, yeah. So, you know, yesterday I was at Ralph's and then he'll just be like. What? And then I laugh. Cheese and rice, that's crude enough. You guys couldn't see, but what I did was hilarious.

It was a lot of apprehensive faces. Yeah, that's what it always is. It looked like someone like, should I eat this ice cream? Like that kind of face. I'll regret it. Does cookies and cream mean bologna flavored? Stop. And that, too. Like that kind of face. I'm lactose intolerant. I'll regret it. Oh, but it's delicious.

Does cookies and cream mean bologna flavored? Stop. Thank you, Bree. I don't like that one. What's that mean? I don't drag delicious cookies and cream into this. Ice cream flavors. Like, if you're looking at ice cream, like, which one of these means bologna? You guys make bologna cones?

I cannot tell you how uncomfortable I am with the term bologna cone. Bologna cone sounds like a bummer, dude. That's what you throw down the mustard shoe. That's what you get like your second day in prison. Mustard tunnel? Mustard tunnel. They want to hear you cry for the first day. And the second day you get a baloney cone right up your mustard tunnel.

Oh, no. Oh, God. Damn it. Oh, no. Baloney cone. You talk like kids that I wasn't supposed to talk to when I was a kid. Like, you know those kids where your mom's like, I don't want you talking to that kid. I do.

I do. He just went to jail about a week ago. Oh, no. He sure did. Oh, baloney. Baloney cone. Now that I liked it. Baloney cone.

Baloney cone. Oh, baloney cone. Maloney cone. Ooh. Maloney cone. My pony's home. Taking phone to the dome. I'm all alone now. Pony cone. Pony cone. Got the pony on.

Pony cone. Maloney cone. Got my baby home. My lunch is ready to eat. I want to make you guys stars. I've seen all I needed to see. That's the B-side, too. That's the B-side.

That's not even the hit. That's not even the hit. Oh, with the baloney cone B-side? Yeah, that's the B-side. I think baloney cone would be a good name for a too thick single. It could be baloney. It could be. Too thick.

Right next to like, it's cool that I cheat. Isaac is pressing me about getting that going. I'm saying. We're going to have to do it. Too thick? Too thick. I'm like five lines in on my deep voice first. Yeah, are you really?

I know. What is it? I know sometimes I cheat on you. The first line is like, girl, I know I cheat on you, but that's cool with me. So I'm the first pick in the Oh my God. I wasn't prepared for this. I know, me neither.

It's nice to talk to friends. It is nice to talk to friends. We're giving people something to listen to, man. Nice to talk. And we will get to my first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Babel.

If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing. Just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there, but this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley. All right. You're not your entire life. You drop everything you're doing. Just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley. All right? You're not Jason Bourne.

You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages, and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible.

You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. They had science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way of learning a new language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick.

They're handcrafted by over 200 language experts, and they're ready to get you talking in three weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You got to do it. You got to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have tools on the app where you can speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it. Babbel's tips and tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key, conversation. You want to know how to get by, right?

And like I said, little 10-minute segments. They're perfect for, say, someone like myself. Don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes in and out, boom, you're done. And don't just try a word for word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, shout out old ladies, alma mater and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there.

And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at bab now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your

mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days. And you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35,

they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code allfantasy at schedule35.co.

That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code allfantasy. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid

unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously you want to be a little bit more careful about that, but how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes

for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate. They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. And they're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill.

You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on, probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered.

Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with Policy Genius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description

to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com. Never back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast, the only thing that's ever been recorded. The only thing that's ever been recorded. The only thing that's ever been recorded.

Ever. And historic. The Alpha, the Omega. I'm talking about my friend Wilson's hand tattoos. The Capadon. Oh, the Master Killer. I worked with a kid

that used to know it might have been Master Killer. I worked with this kid in Portland who knew Master Killer. Well, he told me he knew him, but he I bet you that found its way into conversations at least once a day. Something about, oh, yeah, man, that reminds me of when Master Killer was on my couch sleeping that one time. I'm like, that's just strangely specific. Oh, yeah, that's it wasn't like, yeah, when Redman was on my couch. Not that Redman was in Wu-Tang or anything, but like, you know, like a good famous rapper of the day. It was Mastakiller.

Mastakilla? Mastakilla? That was such a... Excuse me? That sounded like you were calling his name at a restaurant. Mastakilla with an H, I believe. Is that the right? I thought it had an H on the end of it.

I thought it was with A's. Well, Cramminini, it is with A's. I have the first pick. And for some reason, I'm talking like Sean Jordan. With the fuck, man. Oh, this is rough. It's hard to pick. To go first.

It's hard to pick because you kind of set the tone for what people think is okay. I have no idea where you're going to go. I have to go. What are your qualities in ants that you like? I got different ones. I got like, I have to explore different areas. I don't like it when they destroy my barbecues.

So with my product, it's the, I couldn't bear if someone else got her. So I have to take her right now. Yeah. Taking NBA legend, Doris Burke. Oh,

all right. Yeah. I have to take her. I have have to tell you I don't know who that is Please tell me She was for the longest time a sideline reporter And also does like Like color on games now She Is the fucking best

Teams that like cover the NBA Like the broadcast teams A lot of them suck They're just broadcast teams, a lot of them suck. They're just not very good. A lot of them are like cynical about the game of basketball, which is a bummer. Doris Burke is so fucking good. She does seem like she, you know her when you see her face. Yeah, for sure.

She's just fucking, she's amazing. I think she'd be such a fun aunt. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you get to go to all the games, which is, I mean, dope. For real, courtside-ass games. Oh, yeah. And, like, before and after, you get to watch Shootaround, which is tight. You get to hang out afterwards.

You probably get in the locker room. Yeah. Of your favorite team, because it'd be when she comes to your town. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'd be in L.A. She's like, you want to come? Yeah.

Wow. I'll introduce you to LeBron, and you're like, what? But, like, for real, to where LeBron will remember meeting you, because you met him with Doris. Yeah. Oh, your Doris' nephew. She's a historic female commentator for the Knicks, the first woman. So like she's a feminist for your

children. If I have children. Not just daughters. Yeah. She played at Providence. So she played college basketball. She's still like she can fucking still like kind of cross people over. She'll do it like heels. There's like gifts of her doing that. She's fucking rad, man. She'll do it like heels. There's gifts of her doing that. She's fucking rad, man.

She's 54. That's the perfect aunt age. It's such an aunt age. Sure is. 54 is such an aunt age. Yeah. I just would be so fun to go to the game with someone who's hooked up. Somebody who everybody knows.

They're juiced in. Everyone respects. Yeah. They're stoked. People come up and talk to her. Not the other way around like she's just chilling hanging out with you and like you know lebron interrupts like hey mandoras i just want to holler real quick she's like oh this is my little nephew ian over here

he's a big fan yeah yeah man she still does have handles though yeah right oh is there like new footage of her you know fairly recent break wore a shirt with her when he sat courtside that had a picture of her and said Women Crush Wednesday on it. Hell yes, dude. Yeah. She's just fucking rad. And she would be so fun to talk basketball with.

Because she'd have all these inside stories. She'd sprinkle them in there every now and then. Yeah, I don't think she'd be shitty about it. No, no. She'd be really cool, man. She's just fucking rad, too. Yeah, that's a great pick. Yeah, I'm with it.

Yeah. For sure. Doris Burke, first pick. Couldn pick. Yeah, I'm with it. For sure. Doris Burke, first pick. Couldn't stand it if I lost that on her. Sean Jordan? I'm going straight up with my gut. Oh my god. I have some thoughts about who I think you're going to pick.

Oh, damn it. Well, alright, fine. I gotta do that first. Tammy Taylor, my first pick. That's why I thought you were going to pick. That's why I didn't want anyone stealing it. I wasn't gonna take Tammy Taylor. Nobody's gonna take what I was originally gonna take, but you freaked me out. I didn't want anyone... Yeah, Tammy Taylor

is the perfect... Oh, she's perfect. Honestly, I don't even know how to dive in with other words because they don't work. She's just perfect. I mean, Tammy Taylor, Friday Night Lights, yes, Coach Taylor's wife, Tammy Taylor, with other words because they don't work yeah she's just perfect i mean this is the mother from the friday night tv show yes coach taylor's wife uh tammy taylor she is the school guidance

counselor at east dylan high is it dylan shit well one of the dylan's highs and uh she's just perfect she's so awesome and like calming which is a big thing for me that I think I would like to focus on for one of my aunt picks. Yeah. Somebody who could like talk me off the ledge, calm me down in a time of crisis, something like that. And also just takes me out to get like a fun milkshake. Pour you a big glass of wine. She would like watch a skate video with me and think it was cool. Yeah.

And actually have like insightful things, even being completely ignorant with the subject probably. Yeah. I just, I love Mia Tammy Taylor. So she's Connie Britton, for those of you who don't watch the television show. And Connie Britton is like major kind of milk vibes, frankly. Connie Britton is...

I mean, if we're not related in this, I'm just saying. Yeah, Connie Britton's perfect. She's all that and a bag of chips. That's not why I'm picking her. She's all that and a bag of chips. I'm bringing that back. She's. She's all that and a bag of chips. She's 53, which is right in the pocket. We were going to draft something else and I was like, shit, she can't be on my list.

You thought she might have been older than 60? I brought it up and I was like, no, no. Look it up. She's not. We were going to draft women over 60 and then we thought to accompany the uncle's draft, ants would be fun. My girlfriend thought that three dudes,

even if there is one woman, they're drafting women over 60. Could be a weird look. No, I love it. International Women's Day vibes. It's International Women's Day vibes. Yeah. Take that.

True Women's Day hours. Take that. Jerk. AJ. I don't mean to call you a jerk. I talked to you on FaceTime. We need to celebrate women. We do. Take that. Jerk. AJ. I don't mean to call you a jerk. I talked to you on FaceTime. We need to celebrate women. We do.

Of a certain age more. And I don't even know. It's hard to nail down a lot of women's age because they lie about it because of the industry. And we just don't show how women age naturally. So I don't have any fucking idea. I don't have any young aunts on this list. I don't want a fucking young aunt. Yeah. You don't want a peer. Please.

Oh, I would not mind a young aunt. What about an aunt you were younger than? I've had a few friends who had like uncles that was like their same age who they ended up being like best friends. Oh yeah, I guess I've seen that before too. I have none on my list though. It seems to make like a really close connection.

I have two aunts that are three and four years older than me. Pretty much grew up together. Yeah, you guys used to play Trouble together. Huh? You used to play Trouble together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we discussed. Sorry, you played Sorry together.

We played them all. Sorry, Trouble, Chutes and Ladders, all the games that I chose. We took board games. He took Chutes and Ladders and Candyland. You know? Very young. Young Poles. I also took Scrabble.

So what's up? Best board game of all time. You know, I really like that board game where you match the shape to the hole. Oh yeah? Perfection! No, I wasn't talking about perfection. But that's a game. Bree was being mean. I was being mean about preschool blocks. I picked Object Permanence in a row. I was being mean about preschool blocks.

I picked object permanence. Hey, Ian, where'd I go? Ah! No! Oh, okay. No! Who killed David? All right. Jesus. David, I thought somebody killed you. Tammy Taylor, boy.

Tammy Taylor. Connie Britton is... I'll tell you what, she don't need to wash her ass that, Tammy Taylor. Tammy Taylor yeah she's a Connie Britton is I'll tell you what she don't need to wash her ass that Tammy Taylor already washed alright alright

both of you in different ways like alright alright uh David time for your first pick who would be Goldberg wow on my list for sure

damn dude for sure what a great just could teach you pretty much about anything you want to know about. She's hilarious. It cool to be like, Oh man, whoopies on TV,

but we don't spend a lot of time. And then your dad's like, yo, you're wild. And you got to go to it. Whoopies house. Yeah. Go over there.

And she's smoking a joint, but she's also stern with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's just, I've loved her. I can smoke this joint.

Yeah. I'm going to eat God. Cause she, and then she goes, i've loved her i can smoke this joint yeah i'm gonna eat god because she and then she goes this is my house i bought this and she even says motherfucker yeah yeah yeah i bought my weed in my house motherfucker yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure that what you're right yeah that'd do something to you yeah yeah i think it'd be good for your spirit to know 100 i would be thinking about impressing her every time I tried. Oh, yeah. But also, she would be like, she also has the vibes of like, you be you, baby. That's what's cool. Yeah, that is what's

cool. You know what I mean? Yeah, that is what you need. It's what many of us need. So, yeah. Whoopi Goldberg. I like it. Dude, that's so smart. And her name is Whoopi. It's Whoopi, dude. Yeah, you could sit in Whoopi's house. She's a sneakerhead, too.'s Whoopi, dude. Yeah, you could say I'm at Whoopi's house. She's a sneakerhead, too.

Yeah, we watched that complex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's in that complex? Yeah, she did a sneaker shopping. Were you not watching her? I watched her. I watched it when I'm here. No shade to Joe LaPuma, but I think it's hard for people

to be funny around Joe LaPuma. He seems to be a fairly serious individual. Yeah. He's a seven weenie. Yeah, yeah. I like him. You know,

you're a bully. I do too. You're the bully, dude. That's why you started that shit out of you, dude. I know.

I don't like it when I say that. I don't like it, but I'm serious. So, you know, don't make me say it again. I don't want to pick

somebody. I'm sorry. I'm just looking. I don't want to pick somebody I picked for a different draft. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I do not. I'm just looking. I don't want to pick somebody I've picked for a different draft. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I've changed. I did not have that issue. No, I've squeezed Tammy Taylor in every fucking chance I get. Absolutely. You took her in colors. Whoopi would introduce you to some fascinating people. Yeah. Money to people.

Yeah. But she'd also teach you how to get grown. Yeah. You know what I mean? She like, yeah. She just feels like. And then would Joy Behar also be your aunt by default? Oh, you get the view.

Kind of, yeah. Oh, I shouldn't name too many aunts. Oh, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joy Behar has fucking hard aunt vibes. Oh, yeah. For real. Hard aunt vibes.

Whoopi B. Rad. Yeah, that's a great pick. Brie, time for your first pick. Okay, I'm torn between passion and practical. Passion. You have two picks back to back, keep in mind. Okay, my number one passion pick is Jill Scott. All I need in this world. She's just like scatting oh i love her yeah um when jill jill is you know bigger woman

kind of like gets herself gets her sexuality okay oh boy her sexuality six months ago when she can get it today right we all know the video that i'm talking about. And that just bubbled up. Oh, shit. But she's been doing that shit for years. That shit, I'm yelling, and I know why. It's valid. She's got some. Yeah. Dude. She would tell me exactly what to do, too.

You know what I mean? You got your first boyfriend. She's like, listen here. You want to keep that boyfriend? Have you guys seen the video? No. know what i mean boyfriend she's like listen here you want to keep that video oh jill smith let everyone know what it's like when she performs so um yeah she describes a blowjob you know how no oh she shows she performs while she's like vocalizing kind of it's

fucking like a breakdown on when she performs live yeah i just got punched in the chest it takes some fucking it takes some sand to pull that off dude yeah she got it see what she's doing big leo energy i'm just gonna i'm gonna early in her career you know she rolls into like you know she she's rolls with the roots you know there are all kinds of intimidating people i love in that um in the document the dave chapelle block party documentary when somebody's like man it must be pretty intimidating for you to go on after erica badu and she's like have you ever seen me perform that was the hardest shit yeah that was and she totally because she is like i kind of feel like that's why erica badu pulled that like pull my wig off

shit was because you can't really. She had to match some energy. Dude. Yeah. On the roots live. You got me live. Might be my favorite rap song. Oh, it's so good.

And Jill Scott is like. It's so good. It's like. Oh, man. You're not even talking about the song anymore. I say I'm like crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. She's spoken word. I mean, she's a. Aunties who know spoken word. Also, there's like a spirituality Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's spoken word. I mean, she's a, she's who knows spoken word. Also there's like a spirituality there. You need it. You know, you need it.

You can't talk to your parents about God. No, you got to talk to Angel. You got to talk to Angel. Can't talk to, you know, your parents about blowjobs. Oh yeah.

We got to watch the video soon, but she's been doing that shit for years. And people found on the internet like six months ago. Yeah. And it was a scandal, but it's like, yeah. It wasn't a scandal to me. Yeesh. I wish you guys could have heard.

I wish we could just get a gif of Sean Jordan. Look at that. Whoa. All right now. There you go. You can pass it to Ian. It's great. Yeah.

She's got some moves. She's got moves. All right. She's got some moves. And she she's got moves. And she's a very talented artist. Oh my goodness gracious. Alright, Jilly. She learned that in Philly. Alright, Jilly. Whoa, she's coughing.

Oh yeah, yeah. She's very detailed. Oh, she looked. Oh, wow. Yeah, all that stuff works. Jill Scott might have less clout than your Whoopi Goldberg, but she doesn't. She wouldn't act like that. She doesn't. She is a perfect pick.

She would be like, she would be like, this is my Dave Chappelle. This is my niece. Yeah. And like, you know, she'd be Dave would just like would just like okay like he would have to receive you she doesn't need more clout you know what I mean yeah like Jill Scott seems

has always seemed a person who's very happy yeah with where she is she's also got but she has moments all the time like

she's on that first wives club that just came out not too long ago yeah oh nice she's got your favorite rapper's favorite rapper energy, too.

Yeah. A lot of that. We're like people who know, like really love Jill Scott. Yeah. You know who loves Jill Scott? My manager, Kara Baker. See?

Massive Jill Scott fan. I'm a huge Jill Scott fan. Massive. Shout out to KB. Yeah. K-Busy. K-Busy. Your second pick, Brie.

Bette Midler. Whoa. Oh, damn. I know. I know. Yeah. Oh, damn. That's such a good pick.

That would have been one if Jill Scott was not so tender and I didn't have the hot corner. But I have to go with Bette. She is a fast talking, non shit taking, president vibes. Yeah. She's good at Twitter. She can sing. She can sing.

She can dance. She would have such a fun apartment. Oh, Lord. All of her treasures. She would give you something every time you came over. Yeah. Yeah. apartment. Oh, Lord. All of her treasures. All her little treasures. She would give you something every time you came over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, I got this when I was in Atlantic City in 1978.

Honey, this was Paul Newman's Take It. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Faye Dunaway gave me this lipstick. It doesn't look good on me. God, you're right. That is really.

Faye Dunaway's always trying to pawn off her old lipstick on me. I tell her I don't want it. She sticks it in my purse before I leave. Yeah, she'd be mad about it. Yeah. I told her I could afford my own lipstick. She'd party. You could party with her.

Oh, yeah. Just like. She'd show up late to like your wedding. Oh, you'd love it though. And you wouldn't be so bummed. You'd be like, I can't believe you could even make it at all, Ben. Honey, Neiman Marcus had a crazy sale. I had to stop by.

I got you this purse. It's like, this is a Birkenbeck. I don't care whatever it is. I don't know who Birken is. She calls you and is like, what size shoe do you wear? I need to know. Jane Birken was fucking everybody.

I'm surprised they didn't name a fucking condom after her. I really love, is it weird to say, I really love bet middler thank you very much i really just i appreciate it i feel i feel uh there's a little bit middler in all of us and i like to access it whenever i can i love her voice yeah oh it's so good and she would i bet i bet she would sing at a family gathering don't you think i think so i think after everyone had had a few drinks it'd be after dinner. There's Jewish

prayer singing sometimes. Do you think she would sing a prayer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe? Baruch atah! I don't know. Bette Midler's great. I would love to watch her do it. I love this draft because aunts are important, everyone. They're so important. Yeah. Because it's like,

you know, you can't be super all the way open with your mom all the time yeah or your dad you know for sure but that aunt you know she's gonna be spiritual guidance gonna be sexual guidance you know my aunt i got two great aunts i got aunt danielle on my dad's side who's wonderful funny lived in like new york lived in like manhattan where we would go like go visit back oh my god my grandparents lived in long island but you would like go to the city to see like yeah she's just so fucking cool. You know?

And my other one Aunt Nancy who's like my mom's sister who's like a theater actor. Brassy Nancy they call her. Yeah she's pretty brassy. My dad dated her

before he dated my mom. How about that? Ivan Carmel. Ivan Carmel. Sisters. We're always doing that. Yeah we're always doing that! Yeah, we're always doing that. Bette Midler, great pick.

David, time for your second pick. Okay. This one, so this is an ant, because I'm fluctuating in ages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is an ant I go to see when I'm a little kid and I'm having trouble with confidence. Oh my God.

It's like as a little fat kid, but before you found football, you could pummel other kids. Maybe I remember. You still thought you were supposed to be nice to everybody. I need this person to give me the confidence boost and just like, let me know. She's always there for me when I need her.

The kind of thing you could maybe get on an upcoming podcast. You can do it with Brie Pruitt. Yes. Yeah. But also this is someone who I need her. The kind of thing you could maybe get on an upcoming podcast. You could do it with Brie Pruitt. Yes. But also this is someone who I need to see. I need to see that person who's fiercely independent in my life and go get it. Do you? Maybe. I'm picking Rihanna.

That was going to be my next pick. Happy birthday, Rihanna. That was my next pick. Pisces season. The only reason I didn't pick it first is because I was giving you two rounds to pick her because I know you love her so much. I would never pick up here. I know more than Rihanna. Okay.

Damn! Jesus. I really took that without thinking about it. Sorry, guys. I'm moving to Socorro. Brie just put her huge nuts on the table. I feel like Rihanna and I know the same things. You said that like someone just walked up to you and screamed, test me.

I have never heard anyone say that. You know what? Because the fact that you have the gall to say that, I believe you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She said it so confidently. Absolutely.

I'm like five years older than her. Yeah. I mean, I don't know as much about being a millionaire, but, you know, or working in the music industry. But you know a lot. If I were going to teach a nephew. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know anything.

But tell me what you would get from Auntie Rihanna. That's what I just said. She's so strong. And like stylish, too. And stylish. Yeah. And just like really on some like blaze your own path type of shit. Yeah.

Like it's like I think it would be like as a little kid seeing somebody like that from your family be so great would like be like, I could do anything. That must be what it's like for my nieces and nephews. Yeah. And then knowing that she's holding you down, you know what I mean? I think it would be,

I think it would be, and just, you'd be the coolest kid ever. Oh yeah. You'd be the coolest kid ever. Yeah. yeah. You'd be the coolest kid ever. Yeah. She picks you up in like an Escalade. Rianta.

It's like. She picks you up from school one time. Yeah. You're a legend forever. Forever. The paparazzi sees you riding on a jet ski, rolling a blunt for her. Man. In the new LaFerrari.

Remember when she was riding that jet ski side saddle, smoking that blunt? Yes, I know. That was one of the best. My favorite thing about Rihanna is she's so cool. Rihanna knows more than me about leisure. There's certain things.

Because I've had to work so much. There's certain areas. But when I have it like that, I'll be just like her. I believe that. I've been saying that for a while. Since I met you and before I really,

really knew who Rihanna was because I met you before I knew who Rihanna was. You're on a Rihanna path. Yeah. You have Rihanna energy. Absolutely. Big Rihanna. Oh damn, you know what would be great as a nephew is to go to the backstage of the Fenty

show. Oh my gosh. I don't even... I don't really even feel comfortable allowing my mind to go there. Shut up. Go there. None of us would be able to handle that. You'd see Big Sean and you'd see who else played?

Not Future. Migos. And you'd see all the babes and all of the different kinds of babes, which I know that are interesting to you. Oh, yeah. I like lips, hips and fingertips. They had really thick babes on that show. I like thick ones, thin ones, ones that climb on rocks.

And you know what you wear to climb on rocks? Lingerie. Oh, yeah. Fenty, baby. Yeah, so, yeah. Robin. Aunt Robin. Aunt Robin.

I love that. It's very fun. Sian? I'm going with another one of my personal favorites. Just a very fun, kind of no bullshit. I doubt anyone else was going to pick her. It's going to be Kitty Foreman from that 70s show. Oh, yeah.

Kitty. Yeah, Kitty was great. I love Kitty Foreman. She would laugh at all your jokes. And she is very, again, like very lets you know that, hey, you're funny, but also fucking stay in line. She was a no bullshit. She had your back.

And I just love her. She seems very calm and soothing. Yeah. Those are what I'm shooting for with my first two picks. Absolutely. She would also hit the sauce and then have a real good, like, barb every now and again. And I like that 70s show, so I can't get you get her like a wedding or something. She gets tossed.

I love a drunk aunt. It seemed like she would get kind of horned up when she was drunk, too. I remember one time Kelso grabbed her ass because he thought it was somebody else. Oh. Tight pair. A couple of Tomcats. I've watched a lot of that show. I think that show is very funny.

Kitty Form, a great pick. Thank you, sir. With my second pick, I also take I also like having like a aspirational aunt. Like smart, driven, successful. Saspirational. Saspiration. Just someone who's fun. I love, like one of my favorite

things as a kid was like just listening to my family talk. Like I would literally, especially if I was back east or if there was ever like big gatherings. Like the gathering uh like the gathering I mean that's a family of sorts I would like try to fall asleep on a couch or like

crawl under a coffee table or whatever and just listen to them talk and be smart and just like and I just always loved that and I feel like this ant would fit in perfectly I'm picking former uh current senator former democratic nominee for the president I'm picking former current senator former Democratic nominee

for the president I'm taking Elizabeth Warren there you go smart and listen damn I got a politician on my list does she rock with

ballers yes she also fucking rocks with ballers that's important because we rock with ballers we rock with ballers you guys are gonna find out she came on

she came on our show 50 Cent was the other guest. And she was so funny and charming with 50 Cent that I was like, this woman could talk to anybody. She's amazing. She'd be so fun to just like have her. Did you get to meet her? No, I didn't get to meet her.

Crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would have been awesome. I probably could have. I could have looked at her like, hello, Ms. Warren. She's just fucking smart. I have an aunt who's a lawyer now. True.

Yeah, you know what I mean? So she's like, oh, she's a professor. Wasn't she a lawyer? A law professor? Yeah, she was a law, I don't know, economics professor is what I always think of her as. Academic. Okay, maybe she wasn't a lawyer. My bad.

But like somebody who understands the fuck. Oh, wait, no, she was a lawyer. Yeah. So somebody who understands the economy. Yeah. A former law school professor specialized in bankruptcy law. That's what it was.

So you got somebody, if you get into a jam, you can call them up. They're going to introduce you to a good lawyer or just give you free legal advice. And just be super brilliant and smart in general. Sure. Very caring person.

And funny. Just like a funny, cool aunt. Yeah. She would drop everything to talk to you too and like i was saying if you want to meet elizabeth warren all you got to do is donate a dollar and she'll call you on the phone she might call you up yeah called everybody she's fucking rad god that's cool so elizabeth warren future president future president fingers crossed uh so this is a vibe i don't quite have yet i don't like somebody who's like kind of a bit of

a ball breaker uh-huh somebody's gonna make I like somebody who's kind of a bit of a ball breaker. Somebody who's going to make you laugh. Somebody who's going to be really fun at like a family dinner. If she's your dad's sister, she's somebody who will roast your dad to oblivion. I'm taking Rhea Perlman. Wow. So good. That's awesome.

You taking Carla from Cheers or you taking Rhea Perlman? I'm taking Rhea Perlman. Oh, no. I got confused with the order. Oh, no. I just wait. You taking Carla from Cheers or you taking Rhea Perlman? I'm taking Rhea Perlman. Okay. Oh, no. I got confused with the order. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. I'm a hot corner man.

Yeah. No, Rhea Perlman's great. Yeah. I'm taking Rhea Perlman. She is Carla from Cheers. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, if you show up to an event, it's like, is Aunt Rhea here yet?

Yes. You know? Yeah. You just want to show up when she gets there. You get stoked. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. Aunt Rhea's going to be there. Of course. It'd be super fun. You bring your girlfriend, you know, and you're like, I can't wait. You've already to show up when she gets there. You get stoked. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. Rhea's going to be there, of course.

It'd be super fun. You bring your girlfriend, you know, and you're like, I can't wait. You're free to meet Aunt Rhea. Oh, she like, she pours her a glass of wine without even asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she walks her away. Yeah, walks her away from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come with me. Come with me. Come with me. I have some stories about Ian I'm going to tell you right now. And I'm just like, oh, fucking fine. She's got wine and a coffee cup because it's like eight in the morning. Yeah, yeah. Wink, wink.

I don't know about that. It's Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving, you know god damn shoot four-time emmy winner so i don't even have that on her what are the emmys for as like supporting actors i think supporting outstanding supporting actress she was nominated 10 times god that's fantastic god dear she was so fucking good she's so good but still married to danny devito that's awesome isn. Isn't that cute? I just love her, man. I think she's fucking awesome. Yeah. And just like super funny.

She's from Coney Island, which is where my dad is from. That's so cute. Back when I was a kid, we used to call it Boney Island. Boney Island, dude. Boney M. Real Perlman, dude. Yeah. I would just to have her roast whichever member.

Just my dad. Sure. Because he's a. Oh, whichever member, just my dad. Sure. I need, cause he's a, Oh yeah, they're siblings in this scenario. They're siblings in this scenario. Oh yeah, so she'll be like,

what the fuck are you talking about? I remember when you were, Ivan is your dad's name. Ivan's my dad's name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll shut the fuck up, Ivan. That's not how it happened.

What are you talking about? I'll tell you how it really happened. Squawking back and forth like two Iagos from Aladdin. Sean, time for your third pick. Third pick. I'm going kind of down that same road. Just somebody who's like, yeah, going to have a glass of wine with me.

Going to let everybody have it. I'm picking Peg Bundy. Whoa. Peg Bundy would be a fun ass aunt to have wearing wild shit. Leopard print spandex the whole nine heels. Just not giving a shit. Peg Bundy. It's very fun. I think she would have.

And also then I get Al Bundy in the house, which is fun. He's he's one of my uncles. And, you know, I just like their dynamic. I like me a peg Bundy. She had a lot of cigarettes to take. She is a cigarette pretty much. Yeah. Just smoking indoors. What do you mean? I can't smoke in here. I've already been smoking all goddamn day. You know, it's also the one part i never got about

that show is like why al didn't want to fuck her she was a smoke i know you're gonna say that she was a dime i know you're gonna say i was such a weird thing i didn't really get it when i when when i saw married with children i was just and then as i got older i was like wait a minute she was fucking going what he acted like she was having sex. That was the thesis of that show. Yeah. I think he was actually depressed. Yeah.

And that was that way. He didn't want to have sex. He didn't even want to have sex with his hot wife. I bet he couldn't get it up. He was a shoe salesman. And it's, and it's a shame because another man

who worked with feet all day would have been so horned up and ready to get a foot job from his hot wife. I think we cracked the code. We cracked it. Wait, did you just say get a foot job? Maybe. You said that very casually.

I'm in a man and his profession. Oh, probably. I'm not a foot guy, so I don't really get it. They're out there. Dude, they are out there. If you're a woman and you are thinking like oh this will be a typical open and shut sex situation and then somebody springs a foot situation on you it's a it really comes from out of nowhere i think talk about it first

i bet it's all of a sudden it's my foot on his dick? Yeah. It's the second one. Whoa, how do you... We'll talk about this. You know what's nice about a foot fetishist is you rarely have to guess because they'll often let you know. Yeah. And sometimes you can just go to the beach if you want to. Just on Twitter. Oh, online. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Online. Yeah, not when you're dating. Foot guys are

online. They are online. There are dudes asking for pictures and paying money. They must have been so excited when the internet came around. Foot guys. Like more than most. Perfect feet. I just put my feet out there because I have cute feet and I don't mind

giving them something that they enjoy. It's not for me, but you know. Charitable of you. Have at it. Here, but, you know. Charitable of you. Have at it. Here you go, boys. I don't get it. Here you go, boys.

Go ahead. Come home safe. Pizza slop to the pigs. Yeah. Eat it, you messy bitches. Eat it, you worms in your compost. David, time for your third pick. Jennifer Lewis.

Yes. Jennifer Lewis? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't pick. Jennifer Lewis. Yes. Jennifer Lewis? Yeah. Yes. I don't know who Jennifer Lewis is. You will as soon as you. She is an aunt. From way back. Through and fucking through.

Oh. She was on Broadway. Yeah. She's had a very successful career. She's a grandmother on Black-ish right now. She's so inspirational. I don't see it. I don't know if you've seen. She was a sister act. inspirational i don't see it i don't know if

you've she was a sister act she's in beaches she i don't know if you've seen she has she has two iconic things she did whoa one is just a video of her singing with these other women and she's just singing i don't want nobody fucking with me in these streets in these streets with me in these streets she's singing with brandy i don't know brandy yeah brandy yeah it was brandy and then she also i was watching an interview of her and she was talking about how like not letting people affect her and she's like you're not taking one of my summers she's like i am old i do not have many left yeah you can't take one of my summers these are my it was like and just hearing

that was like it made me feel is like so beautiful yeah and just like and she used to be fucked up like when she was young she really went through it because she was successful and she just like she really went through the ringer with relationships and like being in the sex and all kinds of stuff and like she just like yeah like, yeah, man, I just, man, I love that lady. She's really open with mental health stuff. Yeah. And that's, you know, you really need, you kind of need those role models, you know? Yeah, she's just somebody who you would like, yeah, be a great aunt.

That's a great pick. Oh, yeah. She, I just looked her up, used to be Bette Midler's backup singer. Wow. So what about, so we have, she was in Sister Act, you said? That's right. With Whoopi Goldberg. And she was also in Beaches with Bette Midler's backup singer. Wow. So we have, she was in Sister Act, you said? That's right. With Whoopi Goldberg. And she was also in Beaches with Bette Midler,

all who have been picked. She was a backup singer in Sister Act at the beginning of the movie. Oh, was she? Yeah, she was in The Nuns. What else was she in? Yeah, she had the wig. Remember that?

Yeah. Okay, this is for maybe like 8% of your listeners. She had a house like in hollywood because she's like she had made it early you know and she had um a drag queen living in her guest house and working as her assistant for like over a decade and that drag queen is shangela if any of y'all know shangela yeah is true? That's true. So Shangela was her assistant and lived on her, in her pool house for like a decade. And when you see people with like effervescent, irrepressible energy,

and then they know each other, it like makes sense. You know what I mean? Man. It's like one day somebody will get to know me separate from y'all and be like, Oh yeah, that Brie Pruitt.

She's got a bit of the AFE smack on her. You know? They all came up together. That would make sense. She definitely seems like nurturing. She would do that too. But also she seems like an aunt where she's fairly distant.

Yes, for sure distant. She would give you your own space to be on your own. But don't come in the house between 2 and 4 you know that's what I'm fucking or whatever she does in the day great pick Brita what's your third fourth pick my third pick is going to be

Sinclair from Living Single Kim Cole for the character of Sinclair so sweet single. Kim Cole. Kim Cole. Kim Cole. For the character of Sinclair. She was a sweet. So sweet. Just a font. And then Overton would be your uncle.

Yeah. And that would be, that's a great combo. But I'm not, I'm not drafting for package deals. You're not, you're fair. Fair. I'm drafting for Sinclair and her, just her loving presence. She could cook. She was curvy.

This is a must for any aunt in my life. No, I won't say that. I love my curvy aunt. I got some skinny aunt pics coming up maybe. But yeah, just she was really loving. Blind optimist. Not blind optimist. She was so optimistic all the time.

So supportive of all her people. Yeah, even when they were doing... There's no attitude with it. It's just unconditional. She was fresh from the country, remember? Yeah, she's country. Oh, she a country girl? Yeah, she came...

Khadija's cousin? Yeah, Khadija's cousin. The first episode was when she first came to New York. In a 90s kind of world I'm glad I got My girls keep your head up Boy boy keep your head up that's right whenever this life gets tough you gotta fight my homegirl stated tumor am i right drew blue we tight like glue

and your fourth pick okay i'm just gonna okay i know okay okay i don't have to defend my fifth pick i know y'all are not gonna take it so i'm gonna take my fourth pick jada pinkett smith okay jada pinkett smith is my is my more tough love aunt right because you need a tough lover. I need her to invite me to that red table and explain how you don't let people disrespect you. And you don't allow people to mistreat you or mess with your money. And that's what I need Jada in my life for. Yeah, and she will sit you down. Yeah. She's a great mother.

Yeah. She's that rich and somehow doesn't seem like a crazy person and doesn't seem like she is like yeah like grind culture is not really her deal she's like really family focused and like into development and community she was in a pox first love whoa i didn't know that no yeah i loved jada pinkett they went to high school together yeah what at baltimore school of the performing arts really still in contact till the end too yeah yeah no they were like he like they were they so this is crazy shane was there we heard or no this wasn't the same time never. I know what interview you're talking about. So in an interview,

hearing Will Smith talk about how he was bummed out, he was always intimidated by Tupac. Like he didn't ever want to meet him because Pac loved Jada so much. Right. And Jada was always like, you guys are so alike, you would really like each other. Whoa.

You know the story of how Jada didn't get the part that she auditioned for on Fresh Prince because she wasn't tall enough and Will Smith like tried to hit on her at that audition and she was like, get out of me. Get out of here.

Yeah, I mean really? You tall dick. Yeah. Because she was out here with fucking Pac, man. Wow. Was she supposed to be the Tyra Banks role? Is that what she auditioned for?

No, she was. I'd imagine Nia Long. Yeah, Nia Long. Yeah, Pac, man. Was she supposed to be the Tyra Banks role? Is that what she auditioned for? I'd imagine Nia Long. Yeah, Nia Long. The first girlfriend. The only real girlfriend in that show. I thought I needed a Nia Long. The funny is Jada Pinkett Smith was in The Matrix, which Will Smith was almost Neo. Oh, yeah.

Weird. True, true, true. Also, she's so charming as an actress have you guys seen a lowdown dirty shame you have no i don't think so she's so good yeah she's the best it's it's supposed to be a keenan ivory wayans movie i haven't thought about she makes it about her immediately like 20 is it a romantic movie uh lowdown shame sort it's like a sort of a comedy it's like a boomerang type situation where it's like romantic comedy kind of raunchy. Yeah, you've seen Woo.

I've seen Set It Off. Set It Off is black. It's so great. David, tell me your fourth pick. It's so hard. This is tearing you up more than any other draft. It is fucking me up because I'm looking at this list of people that I have and I'm like,

I don't want to do wrong by anyone. Megan Rapinoe. Whoa. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. She's fourth. That's rad, dude.

Yeah. She'd be. She's only two years older than me gives a fuck that's awesome but like just like she's younger than me what a role model be noted

god damn it she's a professional athlete we're all children I'm sorry you're not you're on a professional athlete age range yeah Vince Carter may have played his last game dude yeah that's just how that goes

anyways we'll be dead soon from age Yeah, Vince Carter may have played his last game, dude. Yeah, that's just how that goes. Anyways. He'll be dead soon. From age. I don't know what you want to say to me. You could still be a professional skateboarder, though. We're going to make you walk out into the woods so you're not a burden on the family. Go die out there where we can't hear it.

Maybe we should watch The Revenant tonight, too. How about Midsommar? I love old... What's her name? She was in Little Women. She was so good. Maybe we should watch The Revenant tonight, too. How about Midsommar? That's a movie. I've not seen Midsommar yet. I don't want to watch that tonight. I love old... What's her name? She was in Little Women. She was so good. What's the actress's name for Midsommar?

I don't remember. Peg? I don't want to watch that tonight. Pat? You don't want to watch Midsommar tonight? I don't want to. It's scary. Tough cookies, bro.

Pull them out of the oven. It's so scary. Seems heavy to me. Pull them out of the oven. Heavy. Have a bite. Ooh, that's a tough cookie. Barry Darrison.

All right? It's a tough cookie. Very derisive. All right. It's a tough cookie. Megan Rapinoe would give you a lot of opportunities to explore your sexuality if you needed to come out. Yep. And to explore the Nike employee store. Yeah. Both of those. I got you.

Either way, I'm dropping some dough. I bet you they shut it down. I can't imagine they wouldn't. She's just fucking awesome. I like a world where i would have also met katie nolan yeah shout out to katie nolan yeah uh nobody has more fucking sauce than pino dude it's like it's so much fucking sauce it's almost in the same vein of the rihanna rihanna pic but a little it's still it's. You know what I mean? Scoring those goals. The way she celebrated

the whole arms out like a fucking maestro. Oh my god. That was cool. Like, yeah, man. She's great. Rapinoe's awesome. That's a great pick. Man, this is... Fuck this list, man. I know. I'm sorry, dude.

You got a good list so far, though, Sean. Yeah, you're killing it. I'm saying, dude, you got a good list so far, though, Sean. Yeah, you're doing great. Thank you. Yeah, you're killing it. I haven't won. So my fourth pick, I will not win, so I'm going what I think would be fun and super interesting, maybe a little dangerous. I'm picking Beatrix Kiddo. Wow!

The widow? Yeah. Or the bride from Kill Bill. Yeah, the bride from Kill Bill. Yeah. It would be a trip. I've realized that I will not win this draft, so I'm just kind of going for fun. And that is a fun pick. She's not like a blast,

but the stories would be intense. There would be crazy stories. I don't think she would tell you those stories. I think she might not tell you the stories. I think you could dig around and get them out of her. If I was a dedicated student, which I don't know if you know this, but I have a second degree black belt in tech. Oh,

true. They do have that coming. Yeah. No, you're basically a hit man. We both have the backstory and she could maybe take me to school and finish the job. Like,

yeah, get me up with the pros. She could pick up where, what was your tech? One Scott left off. What was his name? Mr. Darren.

No master. Darren. So as they hit fourth degree, you have to start calling him Master instead of Mr. Or Mr. But yeah. Well, you know she was a good mom, so she'd probably be a good aunt.

She's got convictions. She cares. She lives by code. She's got a good sword. She's gnarly. Yeah. It'd be fun. When you're throwing a tantrum at the grocery store

and you flopped on the ground and you don't move, she'd be like, move your toe. What kind of tantrums do you think'd be like move your toe what kind of tantrums do you think i throw your toe tantrums yeah i think you'd throw a tantrum as a child yeah because somebody didn't get oh your silk shirt wasn't clean properly you wouldn't buy you the jaboz you wanted yeah nobody noticed that you tucked your sweatshirt into your pants yeah you know shit like that you tucked your sweatshirt into your pants? You saw blood? Could have been any number of things.

Somebody asked you to eat a vegetable? Yeah, anything. That could have happened last week. You guys are attacking me. I'm going to back into the corner. I'm just saying, we're just suggesting reasons you might have a fit. Sure. Yeah.

I feel you. Yeah, Beatrix Kiddo. She would make you eat a vegetable. She would be tough. She'd just put it on the end of a sword. Eat it. Eat the veggie. I'd eat it.

Eat it with chopsticks. I had to eat it. Is bologna a vegetable? Can bologna be a vegetable tonight? Do you ever just put the bologna in the freezer and then take it out and put it on your body? I know it's Sunday, but can it be bologna Tuesday? Let me know what that one means. I'm just a a baloney guy.

Unless you want to keep talking about Biedrich's kiddo. Anybody? My fourth pick, I am going to take Julia Child. Wow. Yeah. Can cook some motherfucking French food. Has crazy stories. French toast.

French toast, dude. Has crazy stories about being in. She's a spy. A spy in the. She's a spy. A spy. Yeah, she's a spy. She could tell you about that, right? Oh, yeah. It's actually a limitation.

It came out a lifetime ago. Yeah. I think she wasn't in the movie. She wasn't technically a spy, but like her husband was a spy and they were like kind of doing espionage stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I like to do hand stuff, but. Espionage stuff is cool.

I guarantee you she did hand stuff, dude. Somebody that sensual. She's a freak, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I like to do hand stuff, but I guarantee you she did hand stuff, dude. Somebody that sensual. She's a freak, dude. Yeah. Yeah. She was a freak. She played tennis, golf, and basketball as a youth. Yeah, and then just fucking mastering the art of French cooking. One of the most prolific cookbooks of all time

that was on TV. Fucking Yoshi would cook up some fucking crazy shit for you. Split the fuck out of it? What the fuck out of it? You go to a taping of her show and you get to eat all the food that's like half made. That would be rad. Stupid.

Let me just smack your hand with a spoon. She's from Pasadena. Pasadena. It's always funny to me that Pasadena gets mentioned in California by Tupac. Pasadena. Where all the old money in LA is. What? Pasadena. Yeah. It's always funny to me that Pasadena gets mentioned in California by Tupac. Pasadena. Having been where all the old money in LA is. What?

Pasadena. Yeah. So that's my fourth pick. You just go and hang out in the kitchen with her. It would be amazing. You'd learn how to cook. You'd learn French. You'd learn French.

The fucking scrambled eggs you'd be able to make with shoes your aunt. An omelet? Is scrambled eggs what you would? I'm just saying like. I'm trying to make a creme brulee you could make a dish for a girl yeah and the girl would be like where'd you learn this my aunt julia taught me yeah and jay julia with my last pick this is gonna kind of echo the the uncle's draft in a way i'm gonna take bonnie ray sure yeah somebody who's just fucking the coolest person in the family. Fucking shreds on guitar.

Wow. Fucking shreds. Can sing her fucking ass off. Would be fun, like, pulling at, like, a family camping trip. She's pulling out a guitar. You're sitting around the fire. Bonnie Raitt's playing guitar. Yep.

Tells a couple cool stories about Crosby, Stills, and Nash or something. I don't know. When you're heartbroken, you know who you call? Oh, yeah. Aunt Bonnie. Oh, she'll talk you through it. I would love also... She'll make you a whiskey neat. I would also just love to... Damn, you're 19.

19 and a half. Yeah, she's like, you're close enough. What's the drinking age anyway? She doesn't know. Yeah. Back in my day. I just imagine her like floating ethereally around her house just singing something to talk about.

They keep saying we like just a little too loud. She opens a cupboard. We lie just a little too loud. She sings that into a pepper grinder. I have the same thing, but she's singing, I can't make you love me. I can't make you love me. How many people have you seen destroy that? Tank?

Yeah. Tank's got that cover. Tank covers? I can't make you love. Yeah, it's very good. Pleasure, sex and pain, Tank? I don't know if it's the same Tank. Seems like it would be.

I think there's only one Tank. Are you talking about a rapper named Tank? R&B artist. No, there's always an R&B singer, you fucking cretin. Tank is somebody where like, black people, well, you fucking cretin. Tank is somebody where like black people... I don't care. I loved it.

Cretin is the line. Tank is so black famous. Tank is huge. Yeah, but like white people don't know who Tank is. He thought he was a rapper, which is disrespectful. I don't know if it was a he. I knew nothing about Tank until right now. Could have been six guys. You don't know who Tank is. He thought he was a rapper, which is disrespectful. I don't know if it was a he. I thought,

I didn't, yeah, I knew nothing about Tank until right now. Could have been six guys. You don't know. Yeah. Tank has one

and then a guy, the white version of Tank, Justin Vernon, also has a, is that white Tank? Is that Bon Iver? Bon Iver, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Bon Iver's got a beautiful cover. Yeah. Oh, my God. Such a beautiful cover. He sings, this thing's all up there. How's it go? He's fine. You know that,

right? He's all up there the whole time. Oh man. Maybe Bon Iver and Evan essence should collab for a very ethereal sound. Yeah. For like a haunted house? Yeah, for a spooky sound CD. She was born in Burbank,

Bonnie Raitt. Wow. I did not think. So much east side lore from your picks. Yeah. All about this side. I'm going to pick somebody from Glendale next. John Wayne. There he is. Bonnie Raitt. I love it. next. John Wayne. There he is. Bonnie Raitt.

I love it. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Sean, your final pick? Final pick. I'm just going to pick somebody who I think is fantastic. Just a perfect on. I'm picking Peggy Hill. Peggy Hill.

Oh, yeah. Like a Peggy Hill. Good one. Like a Peggy Hill. Damn, dude. Minnesota's finest. Best show of all time. Sort of an animated Elizabeth Warren. A little bit.

Yeah. Peggy Hill. Same energy. It's good to have an animated Elizabeth Warren a little bit yeah Peggy Hill same energy it's good to have an aunt who knows who's got a game yeah and plays the fuck

out of that game a domino a mahjong if you will absolutely she also knows horses and what not what's that card name with the pegs

cribbage cribbage yeah you play cribbage cribbage she could teach you Spanish you know what I called it cribbage cribbage yeah Play Cribbage. Cribbage. She could teach you Spanish. You know what I called it?

Cribbage? Cribbage, yeah. Oh, okay. Cribbage, yeah. Sean. Hey, Grandma, you want to play some Cribbage? We just go stop out blast. We can play that or Cobble.

Yeah, we play cockle. Peggy, cockle. David, time for your final pick. I can't believe you're still on the fence. My man is struggling. It's like... What's the problem? There's just so many good picks. Is that what it is?

Yeah, and it's just like, I don't... I'm trying to, like... I want it to be a well-rounded list but there's one lady where i'm like i feel like there's somebody is this is this a head and a heart argument this is a head and a heart get out of your head all right i just want to get drunk with her. Paula Abdul. I want to get American Idol drunk with my aunt Paula.

I want her to tell me stories about doing a music video with that cat. And when she was the face of Pepsi, the taste of a new generation, I want her to teach me how to dance because she's an incredible dancer. I want her to talk about the beef with Whitney Houston because Whitney Houston was like she can't sing. I want her to explain to me how she got a career and she can't sing. She can sing.

She cannot sing, Sean. Not sang, you know. She's not Jill Scott. No, I didn't say she was. She'll get the job done though. She's not sang. Yeah. She's not Jill Scott. No. No, I didn't say she was. She'll get the job done, though. She'll dance through it. She'll dance through it.

She'll dazzle you with her moves. She's a pop star. Like Britney Spears can't like fucking sing, but she's a pop star. You take that back. Oh, baby, baby. Britney. Britney Spears.

Paula Abdul. Yeah, great. Good call. Brie, your final pick. The final pick of the draft. Gwyneth Paltrow. Whoa. Yeah, great. Brie, your final pick? The final pick of the draft. Gwyneth Paltrow. Whoa. Here's why. Really?

Isn't Gwyn kind of weird? She's very weird. I am into wellness. You guys know this about me. I love weird wellness, you know? If Aunt Gwyneth is going to a mud bath in Costa Rica, I'm getting it plus one. Absolutely.

If aunt Gwyneth wants everyone to try this new pedicure technique where they put your feet in caviar, you're involved in it. You know, it would be great. It would be great to be her fucking, she would just take you to the Oscars. She doesn't give a shit.

And you're going to get all the new goop. Yeah. And all, yeah. Oh my God. The gifts would be insane. Are you kidding me? All the new goop yeah and all yeah oh my god the gifts would be insane are you kidding me all the new the gifts of just like they call you the goop drip like all my maybe not my other my other aunts would be incredible you know and be like jill you call

for yeah you know showbiz you know advice you call bet you know but aunt aunt gwyneth it's like did she send you something okay did you get the gift basket did you get the goop drip or not the ultimate plug yeah i'm trying to push it i hear it yeah push your goop drip thank you for letting me be me love it you do this all the time you need that goop drip you need that like placenta face mask okay wait they're doing him oh yeah she's got an oscar too placenta is a big deal um yeah um oscar she knows she's got fucking matt damon on speed dial you know actually he calls her and she's like i don't want to talk to him right now right now i'm hanging out with my niece you feel

so important my niece when she like you know no i'm gonna leave matt damon on red yeah i is across the room right now he can wait i did a wave finish your story i see him go ahead yeah yeah he's over he'll be over there he'll be over there after the story so i'll just get over his garden party which means your grandma's also i'm just flexing for you guys i don't know what it is when you're when you're having a birthday and it's a little bit too much, okay? And you're like crying because it's just like too much attention. You can't handle it. You go in the other room. Gwyneth comes in the other room.

Is that what that song's about? What? Is that why they cried in that song? What song? It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Oh, no. She got cheated on in that song. Oh, that makes sense.

Oh, seriously? Yeah, the boy she liked. When my Johnny has come. But Susie left the same time. I didn't know that. Oh, what a birthday surprise. Susie's wearing his ring.

Yeah. But you know how on birthdays when you cry because it's too much. I just had a birthday. I, I have not done that, but I do understand what you're talking about. Party and like everybody's calling you and it's bringing up old shit. Anyway,

Gwyneth holds space for your messy emotions and she doesn't judge. Absolutely. Aunt Gwyneth. Yeah. I love it. And she's skinny but you know she doesn't push it on you. Yeah. It's alright. Takes all types. She invented yoga. It's all good.

But that's also fun to have an aunt who talks like that. Yeah, you just kind of roll your eyes like alright Aunt Gwyneth. She has a bit of a point where she was like she got in trouble But that's also fun to have an aunt who talks like that. Yeah, you just kind of roll your eyes like, all right, Aunt Gwyneth. Yeah. She has a bit of a point where she was like, she got in trouble because she told a lady at a yoga place, like, because she was like, and your name? Oh, yeah. And she was like, my name.

You know, she was like, this place wouldn't be open if it wasn't for me. But she was a big influencer. She taught white women how to do yoga. Wait, really? She was one of the first big people doing yoga. Her blog was like wellness for white people who follow her, basically.

Yeah, no, white people aren't doing well. They do need blogs about it. Thank you. Thank you for being an ally. Appreciate your support. That was a market that did need to be very nice some people don't think of me as white

I assure you I am I don't think I could be whiter so that wraps up the picks I went first I took Doris Burke Elizabeth Warren, Rhea Perlman Julia Child and Pony Raitt wow Pony Raitt got the Julia Child

Sean you took Tammy Taylor Katie Foreman, Peg Bundy Pony Raid. Wow. Pony Raid got the child treatment. Sean, you took Tammy Taylor, Kitty Foreman, Peg Bundy, Beatrix Kiddo, and Peggy Hill. David, you took Whoopi Goldberg, Rihanna, Jennifer Lewis, Megan Rapinoe, and Paula Abdul. Wow. Brie, you at last, you took Jill Scott, Bette Midler,

Sinclair from Living Single, Jada Pinkett Smith, and then Gwyneth Paltrow. We left some bangers on the board. RBG. Tina Turner. Oprah. Oprah. Fucking Michelle Obama.

Michelle Obama. Or like Gilmore. Queen Latifah. I had Queen Latifah on my list. Melissa Etheridge. You can't take Queen Latifah and Whoopi Goldberg, I feel like. Cher.

Really? Too comedically. I mean, I did. Yeah. Grace Jones, but I had picked her whoa grace jones i thought she was the one who could teach you she was the initial one where i was like that's the one who could teach you how to be yourself yeah yeah big time like live out loud kathy bates well you don't follow georgia so you don't even really need a grace jones that's true

kathy bates is great yeah oh that's such a good pick. Joan Rivers, Julie Louis-Dreyfus, Cheryl Miller. I like Cheryl Miller, too. I just watched the Lady Trojans. I haven't seen it yet. I just love Cheryl Miller. You gotta see it.

You gotta watch it. It's like, yeah, the Lady Trojans. Jennifer Aniston? Really? Yeah, I think she'd be an amazing aunt. You'd get drunk together.

She'd have, like, fun little stories. About Brad Pitt. Oh, yeah yeah she drinks she's good friends with chelsea handler really they drink yeah um i guess like now i realize i don't know anything chelsea handler would be a good one i don't know anything about her chelsea handler would be an amazing aunt i can't believe i didn't think about that but you that's somebody you could call yeah do you think, are you on calling terms still?

I could call Chelsea Handler. As long as she didn't change her number. I texted her a year ago now because it was when Brody Stevens passed away. That's less than we talked. But not for any animosity reasons. Two people living busy lives in Hollywood.

Philosophy, not animosity. We're going two different directions. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter. AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com if you want to email us. I'm excited. Shout out to everyone on the A-F-E,

a subreddit. Shout out to everyone on Patreon holding us down. Biggest shout out in the world to super producer Marissa Melnick. Mars. Rarely in the fortress, but always in our hearts and always on the ones and twos no matter what. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.

I love you, Mama. What else? Shout out to... Shout out to my niece because I'm a good aunt. Yeah. What's up? Yazzy. Yazzy? Yaz.

That is a good niece name. It means summer in Turkish. Aw. And my aunt name is Teze. Teze? Yeah, because that's the aunt on your mom's side is Teze. I like that. It's a distinction. I know. It's cool. Yazzie and Teze?

Yeah. Sell that to Disney Plus. Right now. Yeah, right. Somebody get Roc Nation on the phone. Right now. Just on the name. Yeah, man. Shout out to fucking Kashi Goodfriend Cereal Yeah, man. Shout out to fucking Kashi Goodfriend Cereal. You know? Shout out to

Social Distancing. Shout out to Social Distancing. Shout out to Marshmallows. Shout out to fucking Pequod's that pizza place in Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Shane Torres. Shout out to Zach Toscani. Yeah. Shout out to the sneaks looking fresh. Shout out to the AMoscani. Both in the room. Shout out to the sneaks looking

fresh. Shout out to the Air Max 95s that he got for the low, low price on the house from Goat. Shout out to Goat. Free 99, baby. Thanks for letting me go to your party in Chicago. Shout out to Myers Leonard. Yeah.

Faith, dude. Guns, bro. What do those two tattoos say? It says Faith and I don't know the other one. Family or Faith, dude. Guns, bro. What do those two tattoos say? It says faith, and I don't know the other one. Family or destiny or something. He's, you know. The Lord. He's a jock. Yeah.

He's a big old jock. Christian. I love him. He's a Christian jock. He's a jock. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beats.

And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another banging ass, beats and more important than all of that tune in again next week for another banging ass brand new uh podcasting in a room ass drinking LaCroix ass fucking speaking into a zoom recorder ass

uh what else do we do drafting five things each ass episode of fall fantasy everything shit like it yeah episode of Fall Fantasy Everything. Shack-lackity! Yeah! That was a HeadGum Podcast.