All Fantasy Everything - Places to People-watch

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

Just the boys hanging out, watching people (but not in a creepy way).Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. How was last night? Did you end up, how was that show? Watch this. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. The podcast of Fantasy Graphs anything and everything from the world of popular culture. One of us is on Ticketmaster buying Blazers tickets for a game that is starting in about 27 hours. Do I have the plane ticket to that city yet?

No, I don't. And I realize that this tells you that we recorded this podcast two months before it's coming out. But listen, truth in advertising. We do what we got to do. I will say a 10th podcast in four days, we're still cooking. Yeah, I feel coherent. We're funny guys. I feel surprisingly.

Which? I feel pretty good. Usually I feel punch drunk by this point. Nope. I feel, I'm feeling nice. I can't believe I'm doing it. I can. I'm your host.

The Blazers are in the playoffs. The Blazers are in the playoffs. Right now, I think we have a chance where it's one in one with the San Antonio Spurs. It'll be funny to revisit this. I, uh, right now I think we have a chance. He's concussed, but he's a man, he is built. He's built different. I've seen the guy.

Andy has that dog in him. Did we talk about this? He is so much more handsome than I knew. I was talking about this with Dana yesterday. He is about, oh, how he is. A lot of guys who are that tall, they, it looks stretched out. Other stuff gets stretched out too. They look a little weird.

Victor Wemianama is gorgeous. He really is. Yeah. He's, uh, what kind of piece you think he's got on that? Swangin. A long one. Much like Shik. Keel O'Neill doesn't look as long as you think.

Well, you don't really. Is that what people say about Shaq? You know the Shaq story? No. When I say, dude, imagine a different word that I can't say, okay? In this story. Oh, yeah, I got you. So, Shaq is at a urinal, and there's a guy paying next to him with a urinal, and he looks over it, he can't help himself. He looks over at Shaq, and he looks at his penis.

And then Shaq looks, kind of catches him scoping out Shaq's unit. And Shaq says, yeah, dude. Ain't it a bitch? Big ass dude. regular-ass dick. But I think it's just because he's so big that no dick could ever look big on him. That really just put a lot of life in context for me.

I'm sorry, I'm really. It would be catastrophic. If his penis was proportionate, it would be catastrophic. Because everything's real, you know? Nothing's a fairy tale. No. I think that's real. I think that happened.

I buy that story. I do too. I want to believe it. It's one that people question, and I'm like, fun. It's fun to believe that story. And it makes more sense that a little dude would have a huge one. Yes.

The other way around. Yep. You know? Yeah. Some of those little dudes. Just like the way parts are going. Some of those little dudes when they got, when they got smokers on them, pretty buck. Yeah.

Aesthetically, that's probably the best situation you can have is a little dude with a big one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think that would. I wouldn't, I'd say it again, but I don't think Shaq wants a proportionate. I have a question for the both of you guys because you're pretty tall. Yeah. What's the shortest you think you could have come out and got the exact same life?

Do what? Has my height given me? Has my height given me a better life? Yeah. It has? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know then.

Yeah. I like to think I could have got here. I don't know. I think I'm barely hanging on to this. I think I'm really like really scrambling for what I got. not in a, you know, not in a self-defeatist way or anything like that. You don't think you could have pulled this out at 5-8? No.

Although, Ivan did. Ivan did. Ivan did. I do think. I actually, you know what? I do kind of think, actually, now that we're talking about it, I think there are certain things about me that lend themselves better to a short guy or a shorter guy. I think my energy as a big guy can be scary or intimidating.

Whereas with a little guy, it would be sort of George Costanza charming. Well, I think you're the son of a small man. I am the son of a small man. And I have inherited... That's the craziest thing that happened. Yeah. That doesn't happen like that often. No, no.

It's usually the son of a... I'm usually the big man is the son of a big man and it's passed out of all the tools. It was gigantic. And you're a lot more chill than me. How often do you see a man with the age difference father's son or height difference father's son that you and your dad have? That's not common. Not common at all. I'm a good five, six inches taller.

That's great. That doesn't happen. No. I'm taller than my dad, but like, it's like, I mean, I was a kid when I was like 17, but it's like I got like an inch and a half, two inches on my dad. Yeah. Five, six inches. That's wild.

It is pretty crazy. So you grew up with that energy. With a little guy energy around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's little, but he's like, because he's not like 5, 5, but I'm significantly bigger. You're hybrid. You're like an EV. I'm an EV.

I'm an EV. You're a V. Plug me in. Plug me in. Plug me in. So here's the question. Yeah. You come out, Ivan's height.

You think it goes better for you? I think it could. I think there's the world where it could have gone better. I do think there's a world where it could have gone better. I think there's a chance I'm more of a performer and less of a writer. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so crazy because you're bigger and you feel that way.

And I do, yeah. That's wild. Because I think like spark plug, you know, like a little bit of a... Yeah, yeah. Whereas when you're here, you're here. Huge. Scary. Scary.

I think scary. So scary. I think when I yell, it reads scary. Ah, I'm big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scared away a bear kind of thing. But you're little, you're like,

oh, that Carmel, he's moving. Billy Crystal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad is a little bit of that's part of his charm, I think. You don't get upgraded when you're supposed to, and you're like, I'm big. I'm big. Let me in.

What about you? What do you think? I, I mean, I didn't grow up with the tall energy. I mean, I grew up. I don't think, I don't think you know that you, I don't think you understand. that you were like a popular in-crowd kid. Yeah, you don't seem to have a grasp.

I don't think... I was in the middle. And I know that because I was in a movie with a guy who went to high school with you. Yeah. And he explained you and your friends and he explained him and his friends. And he didn't use the terms.

But the way that he explained it to me, it was like oh Sean was cool and you weren't yeah the terms like you know what I mean like the way he said this shit he was just like oh yeah him and his friends I mean they skated too but they didn't really talk like you could just we were really good skateboarder I was like and then you were and you're kind of a bully well you're around your friends from back then that was more middle school but that's not like loser shit that's not like not getting invited to parties guy I maybe

Because you're tall and a bully and athletic. Now it's painting it. I'm saying... I maybe think I was more of a loser than I was because that's more romantic to think about. That's all I'm saying. Where I'm just like, poor me. But if you were short, maybe it was a little different. Well, now that you do that, if I was short, then I would have, you couple that with the acne

and the skateboarding of not being cool yet and not having the, I guess, whatever tall stature that might have led to being a bit of a bully in sometimes. And ladies liking you? And girl, I didn't realize. I honestly didn't realize height mattered. Probably because I'm tall. I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Probably because I'm tall.

I'm going to kick you in the chest. I didn't. I didn't. I always wanted to be shorter, which is such a tall guy thing to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I thought tall skateboarders look stupid. And I was like, if I was short, I could just be killing it.

That's wild. It is. So, yeah, in that regard, I guess being tall mattered a bunch. But I always used to hunch, though, too. I never was confident tall. A lot of tall guys do that. Yeah. A lot of young.

Some tall guys do that. I'd walk like this at lunch, you know, like all turtled up with my shoulders. Yeah. I still, like, I try to put my shoulders back and it feels crazy. Like, standing all the way up. Really? Feels nuts to me. Fill in the doorway, filling the front.

I can't believe I'm going to Portland. I can. We're drafting places to people watch. This was the second place. This is a big wives aren't here energy. Yeah, it really is. How you were hearing the beginning of this podcast, I've literally like been doing stuff on my computer. This is like what it's like when we're

hanging out. Yeah. This is like the closest this is pretty, yeah. To a unobserved to get into something free podcast. You just feel observed. Stop staring at me. Well, okay, well, you know, I think that's something we can get into. I'm your host to you and Carmel, David Boy, Sean Jordan here.

I've talked to Laura about it a few times where I'd like, I'll ask when she's going to be, like if during the day, if she's going to be, if she has Pilates or something, I ask that she tell me when that is because sometimes I'm, I just want to be home when I know no one's going to be there. So, like, if she has Pilates from two to four, then I'll, every now and again, every now and again, ever, but I'll, so I'll go do some stuff earlier in the day, and then whatever, and I'll be home at, like, 145.

Yeah. I know she's taking off, and I'm going to have a couple hours where I can just lay on the couch, even though it's nice out, and not feel like a loser. Right. Because it feels, it's like losery to do that in the middle of the day. Right. That's how you feel anyways.

Right. So I think it's fine. Now, If I didn't, if I wasn't honest with her, if I was just in my head, like, when you should leave sometimes, you know? Right. So you got to tow the line a little bit. We got a good setup because I'm, I don't, I mean, I have stuff to do in the day,

but most of my stuff is at night. But then it makes it so, well, it's like a long day without each other. Because, like, especially if, like, she works out early in the morning before work, so she'll be gone at, like, 637 sometimes. And then I have a show that night, but she gets off at 7. Yeah. So then it'll be like, I won't see her from 6.30 to like... And then you get home and she's in bed maybe even.

Or not, but like I'll just won't see her to like 11 and midnight. You know what I mean? Yep. But that's okay. It is sometimes. I mean, we spend our lives together. Yeah, that's kind of my take where I'm like, I see I don't have to do much. Most of the things I do are not, there are things I can kind of pick and choose when I'm doing them.

Yeah. There's not like a nine to five. I can just kind of do whatever. So we see each other a bunch. Yeah. Me and me. And that's another thing. I don't want her to get sick of me.

No, that's how I feel. That's why I'm so glad I got the car now. Oh, yeah, we're in. Oh, yeah, we're going. We're deep in it. See, what are you guys talking about? Yeah. Isaac can tell it feels like we're not being perceived.

This feels like a hang. Which is weird. Isn't that strange? It feels like we do the podcast together, but like this does feel like it regular. That's why this is such a fun show. The podcast is not, not us hanging out. No, no, no, no. version of it. It is. It is. But right now, I kind of

forgot the cameras were there. Yeah, me too. Lucky y'all. Sean Jordan is here. I know. I'm in the middle playboy. You know, I'll be at sports drink in New Orleans in August. I'll be headlining a show in Detroit. Hell yeah. In September. And then I'm also doing those next two days in Royal Oaks, Michigan with Kyle Canane.

So I will be in Michigan for like three days. One of those in Detroit. And then I'll be in San Francisco Cobbs December 4th and 5th with Kyle I just remembered that But AFE 10 year anniversary show September 26th late show

If there's still tickets available Come to that It's going to be A very fun weekend It's shaping up to be Exactly what I was hoping It would shape up to be In the sense of like

loosely Not a comedy festival But like this is how Those start to me Where it's like oh we do this show We add this one Maybe something fun during the day Who knows

So it will be very fun of bridges. Yeah, dude. Yeah, in a town with some bridges. Hell of bridges. Hell of bridges. You name them all. Oh. Is there not like a...

The Glenn Jackson, the Morrison, the Hawthorne, the Selwood, the St. John's if you go really far down. I don't know what the pedestrian bridge's name is. I think the Darlene Huli or something like that. Isn't it named after a Congresswoman? Which one is that? There's the Tillicum. Is that the... Ticicum crossing. Telecom crossing. Yeah.

Till like collapse. I was going to do till I come But until I collapsed I can't believe I pulled the fucking Darling Huli I can't either I don't even know which one that is That's awesome

Which one is that? It's a pedestrian bridge But Yeah I guess I don't even know I rule Until I collapse The Darlene Hulli just goes over The freeway

It doesn't even go over the river Oh it's the new one from the Lloyd Center The Lloyd Center Over to No it's over by the OHSU It's over by AHSU Until I Collapse comes

in on the workout sometimes and I have to skip it because it's just too much. Sometimes it's too much. Sometimes it's too much where I'm like, oh, why are you so? Yeah. This is, I can't. I was listening to Fettywop this morning. Yeah. And I was like twice in a row, good, three times too much. Yeah.

I will, I've told you this, I'll time out songs. So Freak on a Leash hits. I think it's a minute and 10 seconds in when it, when they start going. Yeah. So I'll time it out to where like, all right, I really want to be running when this hits. Yeah, I see a lot of content. like that now because my algorithm is polluted so it'll be like a guy like

it's like me waiting for Tupac to call me a fat motherfucker before I hit this lift Ah Like it starts fast the beginning of him You know that's queued up I guess Yeah yeah that's what it is it's like the sixth word and hit him up Yeah but it's like he plays it and then he waits

And then that's this That's why I Fucked your bitch you You So fat would be the eighth word But I think there's like a few seconds of beat right or does it Is it, oh, he does. No, it's the first before there's any music even.

The point is that's the content. But yeah, that's the content. I am getting so many more fights than I ever had on my. This maybe is an issue. It is nuts. Like, I'm getting Facebook fights now. Can I see your shit? Facebook fights.

Well, fights on Facebook. Oh, like. Yeah. Like, you've seen people like argue in the comments? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of bathroom debates. David Boyce here, Cool Guy Jokes 87. Hey, hey, hey, I don't have anything.

I mean, Carmell, watch the World Cup. after show on Fox Come see us in Portland That's it Yeah My T-shirt swim club Within the century We will help the publisher

Make their money back No it did well I'm joking Oh I just parted So we're drafting It's all right It's just the three of us It doesn't really does not matter

We're drafting We're drafting places to people watch who picked the second place or third place vote getter on Patreon. Yeah. When last we voted in April. It is now July? Yeah, but you, okay, this is the thing. You got a real loaded, a real loaded schedule coming up.

Because of this now you know about it, World Cup show. I have like, I do not. I truly, once June 11th hits, once the Cup starts, I will not have time. And it's like, you know, in theory. Maybe you could squeeze one in here and there, but I can't fly down for one. Look for that Patreon content early in June and late in July. Sean has a fight in Spanish, a fight titled Three Men versus Drugs, and then Tupac on the, and then Tupac on the beach AI.

Three men versus drugs could have been named the first name of this podcast for the first five years. Oh, man. That's so, that's so funny, dude. That's a funny thing to say. words in that row. In that way, three guys versus drugs. Holy cow. You were really going hard with the aviators 14 years ago.

Oh, yeah, Tom Boos, baby. Anyways, we're here to draft places to people watch. You know, we're going to start with a game of rock, paper, scissors. That's right. I love it. Hell yeah. I love it. By the way, with a rollicking game.

I'm going to jump in. Man, if you have not won. I believe that's true. This could be it. I have not won. Don't let them win. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh! You won. That's the first time ever. This is like we're hanging out. Man, this got weird. Man, this got weird. That's not. Whoa, buddy.

I'm working on it. Yeah. That was not a low-key, me trying to show people how swole I've been giving. The funny thing is, because of the way that the camera set up, it really only caught you from, like, the upper chest down. That's perfect. Also, it's just the swall part. Yes, just the soul part.

That's perfect. The whole point of working out is to show people that you're getting swall. Why not? Why is that a bad thing? No, it's to live longer. My wife. And your wife. Is lifting weights going to help me live longer?

Oh, yeah. The stronger your legs are, it's a direct correlal. Is it really? I didn't know that. A corollary to my coronary. Let's go, baby. It's also the more fat you have, the more muscle you have, the more fat you burn. Okay.

The more muscle you have, the more fat you burn. And I don't want to get clogged. Yeah. I want to get clogged up. No, you want to. Well, you won. I can't believe it. I'm about to get the clogger tonight, though.

I can't believe it. As the winner isn't coming upon me to determine the order of today's This might be too much power. Before I do that. This might be... I check some balances have gone out the window. This might be fucked up. You're running the house in the Senate over there.

I will remind myself that is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a good question. It's kind of like when you're putting hot dogs on a grill, right? This feels like what's happening in America right now. You start at the left. You put some hot dogs from left to right. And they'll put another hot dog right here on the right.

And you go down around. You put hot dogs from right to left all the way over. And another one right there. you go down a row, hot dogs all the way across. Basically what it means is you pick third in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go first and then we're going to go Sean,

and then we're going to go David. All right. So Ian Carmel has the first. Sean, the only way we're going to keep our jobs is if we go over the top of this thing. All right. We'll be right in the middle. Right after this break. No.

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enough. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com slash all fantasy for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada 2. That's Q-U-I-N-C-C-E.com.com slash all fantasy for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash all fantasy. Isaac, find a cut plane in there. We did that. This couch, the leather couch, took control. What's all this wee on the leather couch? I'm on the leather couch right now.

Now it's a we. Don't forget where you came from. You had a brother. Now I went from cloth to leather. He said, you had a brother? Is that what you said? I used to be over there on that couch. It's a couch.

It's a crazy place. I used to sit over there on the couch. Can I say in life I do love it when people do quotations wrong? Yeah It's so funny I guess I'll drive to your house

Yeah I got a sandwich Yeah Uh oh I might have to be a bit For the next week or something A funny bit my wife always does She says allegedly

One that doesn't make any sense That's good Oh I love that allegedly Do you need me to pick up sour cream Allegedly Allegedly That is a fun one Yeah that's fine

I might take that It's good You do quotes. I'll take allegedly. We'll take them for a spin for the next week. Check in. Watch me on the World Cup show, June 13. No, I'm on the World Cup.

I would love if you were on the World Cup show. You just got to show up. You just got to go to it. You just go to it. Hey, I'm talking in. What's happening? I know Ian pretty well. It's me.

What are people say I have the energy of a shorter guy. And here I am, a shorter guy. I have the first. Yeah, what do you got? Man, there's some good ones here. I'm going to take, I think, the what I am now newly going to experience tomorrow. I wasn't until 20 minutes ago, the airport. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, man. People are at their limit at the airport. People, that's on their weirdest shit. Their weirdest. Like, you also, it is, like, a lot of these, you're going to get kind of a targeted selection of people watching. Uh-huh. Everyone's at the airport.

Everybody's at the airport. You see, like, I feel like a lot, like every time I fly into Chicago, I see some Orthodox Jews at the airport. Every time I fly into or out of, not every time, but a lot of the times when I fly into or out of Portland, I see some like, not Amish. Menonites? Menonite, maybe. Yeah, like, Hutterite types. Yeah, like that kind of thing. And like that, and then it's like somebody in a Trump hat, you know what I mean?

Somebody with an Antifa cut off T-shirt. Somebody with a drug rug on. Once you fly on rocks. Yeah. Even ones with chicken pox are at the airport. You see whole teams. Whole teams. They always look like they're having the most.

They're having a blast. Whole teams are having the most far at the year. The Linfield College Women's Lacrosse team. Yeah. And they're going to live in life. Also, the airport is a place where it feels like everybody knows that nobody knows what they do so anybody could be anybody. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

All your confidence. Yeah. So, like, I think you see a lot of people at their most confident at the airport. Yeah. When they don't really move like that. But people are like, you don't know. I could be going to fucking pick up a check for a million dollars. Absolutely.

But you know what I mean? And I think that energy kind of bleeds through. Some people are really dressed up. Some people are incredibly dressed down. Yeah. But everybody's dressed like themselves. Everybody's like a very honest version of themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Couples, really. A lot of feet out, unfortunately. A lot of feet out. A lot of. Have you ever brought it up on a flight? You ever brought it up? No. I haven't really either. Yeah.

It's never gotten to the point where I had to bring it up. If someone put their feet like I've seen pictures of up next to me, I'm not going. But that's never happened to me and I fly all the time. I feel like if that doesn't, it's, that's how rare that is. Yeah, I believe it happens. Yeah, but it's just not common. Somebody fell asleep and their dreadlocks were on my arm one time.

I didn't even say anything about that. That'd be hard. Did your arm get itchy? Yeah, dude. Yeah, they're dreadlocks. Real ones. And I'm just like... Natty dreadlocks?

Huh? Natty dreadlocks? Yeah. Yeah, they were buck. Were they dreadlocks de Blanc? No. Oh. What's Blanc?

White guy? White guy? No, there were... What was the word you were going to say? I don't want to say it. What? De Moire? No.

Oh. Well, now I feel insane. What are you doing? Blanc. It would be Negro. Negro. Why are you doing this? Because it feels weird to say dreadlocks day Negro.

Yeah, I don't love it. Well, that's why I didn't say. That's why I didn't say. say it. Well, you said it. You did say it. Because I'm cornered now my face is red. Yeah. I didn't want to say that. It's noir, by the way. Yeah. You just did that for no reason. That's not how you say the color in Spanish. Noir means black. In French. I was going Spanish. Wasn't Blanc? No. Spanish. Blanco is white in Spanish. Blanco. Right. Okay. This is a tough. You see where I got confused. How's he going to get out of this one? Yeah. We could honestly cut this if you want.

No, we don't have to say. Because you don't. This is what would happen if we were hanging out. I have no idea what's right. I don't know. To be fair, you don't speak either of those languages. Yeah, that's right. I did not know it was French.

So my pick. Oh, no, no, no. We're not talking about the airport, yeah? Yeah. What do you think his name was? I'm just going to see. Nice cold Coca-Cola race. Are you having a classic?

I like that. That is cool. Yeah, that is cool. Yeah. Yeah, the zero sugar, you can tell. Is that a zero? Oh, I see what you're saying. I kind of like the zero.

I used to like the caffeine free a lot, the one in the gold can. Used to love it. I used to love that shit. Old folks juice. Hate a Diet Coke. Real. Can't stand a Diet Coke. I understand when full flavor is available, but it's truly like once you get on the zeros and the diets long enough, it's like, I crave it.

People love diet. It's like it's like if. if Coke with all the stuff in it tasted like Diet Coke, most Diet Coke drinkers would still, they'd be like, yeah, I just like Diet Coke. I'm not drinking it because any part of it's better for me. One time, though, the other day, my wife came home with a full-flavored Coke from McDonald's,

like a small, and I took one hit, and I was like, oh. Yeah, that McDonald's took a difference. You realize that you can't just be drinking that out here. Laura will go get Diet Coke from this like specific Burger King on 82nd because she says they're the best like fountain Diet Coke in town. Burger King. Uh-huh. I think it's a Burger King or McDonald's. I would not have expected Laura to be a burger king.

But it's one specific. She loves Burger King. They went to Burger King the other day. Burger King. Yep. The whole family. That's the most surprising thing I've ever heard about Laura. She, she likes fast food, I think.

Really? I think. Well, we don't really get fast food like that anymore. But like if we're, if we're in Michigan, whatever. Nobody shies away from. No one even tries to do the dance of like oh well I guess if we have to eat at Arby's well everyone's like let's go to Arby's

hell yeah. Not a lot of options let's go to Arby's nice I like Burger King. Yeah I like Burger King too I just didn't think I felt like favorite fries I thought Laura was like a I guess in my head it would be like a Culver's or like a She loves Culver's. BurgerVit. We don't have Culver's up north slightly class here

We'll go to Michigan though Culver's Burger King you're in the muck I'll be there all day Burger King feels It feels like mid-tier, right? Like mid-table sort of, like a West Ham? It doesn't feel as down and out as McDonald's and Arby's. Yeah.

McDonald's is almost not even food to me. Like, McDonald's is three items, four items. Spicy chicken. Yeah. Filetal fish. Feeo fish. Double cheeseburger fries. Double-gots, though.

I don't even, the nuggets, something about them freaks me out. Yeah. Like the texture or something freaks me out. I'll do an eggwink muffin at the airport sometimes. Yeah, the breakfast. Yeah, I will do that. At the airport to bring it back. I had Chick-fil-A breakfast at the airport when we left New Orleans.

Shout to Drew Morgan. He was with me. Oh, hell, yeah. Yeah, good time. Nice guy. Yeah, I love that guy. Drew rules. David, time for your first pick.

Oh, this one, man. I like people watching. There are certain things that we all do socially that I think really show who you are. are in a serious way. And I think people go into this thing lighthearted. And then they get, you see people get embarrassed kind of or whatever as this activity goes on. I'm picking a bowling alley.

Wow. That's, I mean. When you see somebody, but also like, there he says. There's a lot of people who you will see who are really confident and stuff like that. And then you get them on the bowling lane. You're like, oh, this person's not athletic and they're like uncomfortable. Yeah. Like, or just like, like, or like how Sean got.

When you get pissed. When he gets, that's when bully mode comes up. You at the bowling alley is. It was such a, like, interesting exhibit because you could tell you were once super duper nice with it. And it was like a microcosm of growing older in general. It's where it's like, why can't I do this thing I used to be good at anymore? Yep.

And I'm going to stay here until at least something happens that I used. used to be able to do. It was like we weren't even there. And I, yeah, I'll, you know. Like he wasn't, you weren't. Kyle, I went with Kyle one time too. You weren't really interacting with us. And he's like, you get pretty pissed.

I go, yeah, sometimes. Like just being real short about it. That's how you were. And like, until for a while after we had left, you, it took you a while to cool off. It's very frustrating. Have we talked about that? We're talking about Cleveland. Was it Cleveland?

When Ben took us downstairs and they had the whole bowling alley at Mahals. And it was just our private bowl. bowling alley. They got us food and everything. I wouldn't touch my food. Yeah, it was like, we got to keep bowling. Yeah, yeah. That was the other thing. It was, it was like, yeah, that's right. It didn't, you didn't want us to have fun either. I wanted, I wanted to get a goddamn strike and I wanted to curve the ball. I wanted it to work. And you know what I've learned since? Because this happened to me at Lucky Strike, they probably just hadn't oiled the lanes. That's right. That's not on you. Yeah, but it feels like it is. It feels like you should be able to move with,

with the competition or whatever. So if the lane's not right, I should be able to tweak my role. You know what bowling guy I am? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What? You're enough. It's not your fault. Yeah, but I should be able to curve the ball.

It's not your fault. I just got to hit the pocket. It's not your fault. But if I, I mean... It's not your fault. The whole thing's not my... It's not your fault. All right, it hit. It worked.

You're supposed to start crying. I can't do that. You're supposed to be... You could do a fake cry. Do you think you could make yourself cry? Yeah. I've widely talked about that. I do that sometimes in hotels.

Oh, that's right for God. Yo, somebody got to put a camera on you in a hotel. No, they don't. No, they don't. Like when they put, like, when they re-release animals into the wild, I just want to let you out at Eradison with a camera strapped here that can just see what's going to happen. What do you think the quickest you've been got naked at a hotel was alone?

Under a minute. Under a minute. Yeah, isn't that? Easily under a minute. If I'm alone sometimes, if especially... What am I wearing? In a way, I don't do at home that you guys do a little bit more. Yeah, yeah.

I'm naked. Oh, man, this weekend it's about to go down. Gonna have a little naked night. I'm going to have a naked... I'm going to be. It's hours I shouldn't be. Because, like, you shouldn't be nude at, like, 1 p.m. Probably not a lot of reasons for that.

That might be the perfect time to not be nude. That's right. That's at the peak of... I'll probably throw some underwear on. Yeah. Not me. Not me this Saturday. Yeah, bowling.

The guy I am at bowling, the walkback from the lane, just a little shrug. Yeah. I don't know. Because I don't think I'm good at it. I've never been good at it. It's also a weird thing to maintain. Yeah. Like sometimes I feel like everybody can have a great four frames.

Yeah. It's like tough to have three good games, which is about what you're ever there for, right? Yeah. two to three full game. I'm done for, I'm probably done six throws in. That's what happens to a lot of people too at bowling. A lot of people are like, oh, I don't even like this. It's one game to warm up, for sure.

Yeah. And then the second game is the one that I'm banking on. And the third one usually is just like, all right, it's going to be worse. It's like the speed game. We got 12 minutes left. We got 12 minutes left. What are we going to not bowl? I love the idea of bowling.

Everybody does. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Like right now, the thought of going bowling? Very enticing to me. We just bowled a perfect game. It was like Jerry Rice or somebody.

Who's a retired athlete that just bowled a perfect game? Emmett Smith. Was Emmett Smith? I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know. That was a good story, right? Yeah.

But bowling alley. All right. I'm going first and second picks for myself. I'm going to go a bar. Yeah. I like to, I get my fights. I get to see those. Not that much.

No, no, I haven't seen a fight at a bar and it's in forever. But it is just fun watching people when they ease up and all the different scenarios at bars just got off work. Airport bars. I know airport's taken,

but like airport bars. People on like Tinder dates, first dates, people on, we've been married 30 years. Bachelor parties, bachelor parties, people looking to hook up.

It's always hilarious to see. Yeah. The hooking up is the funniest thing. When you see people really searching for it, Do you feel like Tinder dates changed? Like, I feel like when you were in a bar, you used to be able to tell when people were on dates

before Tinder got so. Yeah. Does that make sense? Is that weird? There was a little more naked affection on those days. Yeah, and people trying, and it feels like Tinder is, it feels like maybe, Isaac, you get laid. Do you tell me if this is there?

It feels like sometimes a. Tinder date is like, we kind of agreed that we're already going to do it. Oh, interesting. We're here to figure out. We're just, I'm just making sure. Where it's like when you would see people on date dates, you could tell people were like going for it and trying and risking it and making off color. And like Tinder feels like it's like I'm just here to make sure you're not a psycho.

Because they've already kind of sexted it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a crazy. Yeah, which is nuts to do before you meet somebody. I learned in hindsight. Yeah.

That's interesting. I think you're probably right. Yeah. Although I think there's probably also those Tinder dates where they haven't done that yet first. And they've also never met in person. And then there's also, at least with the old dates, it was like, well, we've met. We know we have a little bit of natural chemistry. Whereas these ones where you're like, oh, this is not at all working.

And you see those too. That screen intimacy is a bitch, man. That's pretty wild. That's such a lie. Yeah. The, you know, I wonder if that has changed. people just going even to randomly meet people, like with that being the intent, where they're like, oh, maybe I'll meet a girl tonight.

Wasn't that always your intent before, though? It was never my intent. Really? Never. Like, I never. Drinking was the, was always the goal. Same. I never acted on it, moved towards it, or specifically did anything to try to

cultivate that, but it was in my head every time I went out. Well, for sure. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying I would go out and be like, yo, what's up, baby? Like, I would not even act anything like, like you couldn't tell by my actions, but it was always in my head. Yeah. That shit, thinking about like cold, we're talking about on the way here. Just walking up to a girl seems crazy.

I maybe did it like twice. Said hello, she said you're kind of cute. I said, yes, I know, but. I never really. You know what I was good at is I could do it for my buds. Like I remember my buddy gets, I walked up to a girl and just started chatting her up. I was like, you should come meet my buddy. He said he thought you were cute or whatever.

And that was a pretty long relationship for them. Never did that for me, did you? This is a weird spot on the couch because I'm looking over here and you're completely different looking when I go back. Yeah. No, I never had to do it for you. You're dripping with the charisma of a tall man. Thank you very much.

Thank you, my tall brother. Thank you. All right. Hey, brother's back. Thank you. Welcome, bro. Welcome. Eye contact.

It was fun. It was like no pressure when you had when you did that. I have the charisma of a short man. I have the presence of a tall man. And that's the confusion. Yeah. That's why he's a hybrid. Flip it everyone on its ear.

Plug him in. He's better in China. That's right. That's what they say. They're making me cheaper in China. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll get over here. Now, here we, this is one that was, it's been a topic of the last few days, but traffic.

Traffic. Traffic. I like to people watch in traffic. That's a good one. That's a good one. Because you see, like, almost everything gets on my nerves. But when people are staring at their phones or whatever, like you can, you sometimes see people singing, having a great day. Yeah.

Sometimes you see a couple, I don't know, like the kid, the dog out the window. A couple like a married couple. A couple of blanche? Or. I'm going to go to the bathroom. It's crazy because you get red and then white. Yeah. That has been like the telltale sign my whole life is my face.

gets red like that. If anything, like if I get any kind of flustered, it's already red. And it just gets so much worse. And so that's happened on dates a few times. Really? Like someone will ask me a question. I'm trying to figure out how to answer it. But as I'm doing that, my face gets are so red.

Let me get my Byron Allen on here really quick. Now, you've been talking about how you've been driving to the studio with David. It's been really fun. It's been really fun. But with regards to traffic and maybe behavior. Oh, yeah. Am I exposing myself? you're doing you're being so calm which i love in the car oh okay you haven't some of the people

that have cut you off i would have i would have been screaming and you were just like this motherfucker yeah that's how i feel it's as long as you can keep that rage on a simmer yeah yeah i i can't because i boil i used to boil more i boil less now you know what it is to me they're not real that's a good way to look at it's no one's real but me in the car Yeah. Me and the person who's next to me in the car is the only thing real. It's all the same. It's not like they're saying.

Sean, you've been speaking on different ways to guide. This is crazy. Sean, you've been speaking on ways to sort of try to lead David into being calmer in the car? Yes, I said don't let him get their hooks in you. But you've been saying things. I'm trying to set you up for the story you told us earlier. Which one? The one like, don't be like us?

Yeah. Yeah. Don't be like, don't do it. I was, I mean. I can't remember if we were talking about there or not but that guy that was walking across the street David was like fuck and I saw that Glimmer of rage. That was pretty egregious

You were correct? Limmer of rage is a cool band name. I know that's like a hack joke Yeah but it's still fun. Yeah it's good poop jokes are fun they're all fun That one was pretty bad He was I would see you would have lost your mind It's the only time I use the horn today Especially if I don't like the looks of somebody I lose one like

You would not have liked if I know you What I sounds like fucking You wouldn't have liked the cut of this guy's yeah J. Max Maradonna. Yeah. That's how I described how that guy looked. There's a world. He was walking across the street.

There's a world where you could have even cut him off. He was like went in front of him. He was pretty bad. He did. Just the night takes Bishop. That's what you're talking about? The slow roll, dude, when somebody just doesn't pick it up a little bit. Yeah.

Come on. At least pretend to run. Like, do this with your arms. Talk a little. Also, it was premeditated because it was in the middle of the street, not at a crosswalk, he saw me coming and waited and went.

I would have gotten out of the car. It was like, yeah. Your jaw's clenched now. Yeah. I stand down. You would have got out of the car and like, look at what color my seats are. Yeah.

All right. I'm gonna fuck you. Just like, you don't know what to say. I'm my favorite is that road rate shit where you're like so mad that you just say something that makes, it's more embarrassing than the intimidating. Yeah.

And I know I can't cross that line of yes. at people out of the car because there's no end to them. I've done it. I don't do it anymore. I get it. I get it. There's no end to it. It's awesome.

I can see that. We came up in the fucking Glendale trenches of road rage. Like that's... That was so comical, though. It was some of those I'm just like, damn. I can't even... It's too much to get mad at. It never went further.

Yeah. Traffic. Good, it is. You see people... Yeah. Dave, your second pick. Food court at the mall. Oh.

Food court at the mall. It's a lot of stuff at play. Yeah. We were at Century City the other day because it's like the one that we go to when we go to the movies or whatever. And like, there's still like the teen shit at play. Yeah. Teens talking like, this is a dynamic I forgot about. Confident young girl.

Her friend who's her friend who's a boy who's clearly in love with. her talking to a group of dudes for her. Yeah. Remember that? I saw that shit play out. I was like... I mean, I remember seeing that happen. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I was in a different group of dudes. I don't remember. I was with my mom. No. But like, but like I just like, like, I saw it play out and I was like, I forgot this was even a dude.

a dude. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, my God, that's right. And it's just like, oh, it's like, I think when you see couples there, the stress of shopping is a bit alleviated. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, like, for one in the couple, me, it's like the highlight of the shopping

trip where it's like. Jack Daniels bourbon chicken will smooth a lot of stuff over. Yeah, like this kind of suck, but then we got a Cinnibon or whatever the fuck's going on. Oh, isn't it funny? Anthony Edwards and Cedric have a barbecue restaurant in this mom? Yeah. Anthony Edwards? Anthony Anderson or Anthony Edwards?

Anthony Anderson. That would be crazy. Anthony Anderson. I would eat there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids eat free. Ant and Seds? It's got so many.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Anthony Edwards. But yeah, it's just like a very, it's just like people really are all the levels are there. It's like, yeah, the best part of people's day. You don't see a lot of bad shit going. Like if people are going through it at the food court at the malls. It's bad.

Have you ever seen a fight there? Because it seems like a place fights would happen. I've never seen a fight there. Not at the food court. No. Other places in the mall. I have to have seen one. I have to have.

Well, I mean, if you count your algorithm. Well, I'm talking. We had, we had, I can't think of any. We had, you walked in the old mall, it was like, Lads Castle and Hardee's. You walked down this hallway, and the food court was around like a hub. So the middle of it was all the inside of the restaurant. Ladd Castle's an arcade? Huh? Lans Castle's Darked.

And now the food court into my teen years shifted over to where it was big open atrium. And I don't remember ever seen a fight. People were in pretty good mood. Yeah. They were shopping all day. It's like, it's like kind of like, yeah, it's like the most mall of the mall. Yeah, that's what that was the meeting point. Yeah.

It's the one place in the mall where everybody's participating in the commerce. I've seen a couple dudes at the town center get arrested just for being. Like menacing Shiklachimus Yeah I've seen One guy I was there with my mom

And one guy Looked very Very menacing And he was about to go Into the women's bathroom And I got in front of I was like Can't let you go

In the women's bathroom Man my mom's in there Yeah And he kind of He like Backed up and puffed up I was like I just

You can't Go in the guy's bathroom Yeah Don't fucking be rude to the guys But I just can't Let you do it My mom's in there Who is this guy

Just some gnarly dude I think he was Probably Probably houseless Like down on You know, it was, there was a lot going on. Yeah. But then he was, he was just going nuts and he got arrested.

It was pretty buck. That was probably the closest I'd seen to a fight. Yeah. Yeah. And that was the bathroom. Was me. That was the bathroom. Couldn't be further from the food court.

Yeah. A place I don't people watch. No. I mean, they're like connected the food court, but yes. But like, spiritual. Yeah, sure. Different kind of food. But food.

But food. Oh. Food food food. What if poop tasted good? We don't know that it doesn't. We know that it doesn't smell good. Doesn't smell good. So why would it taste good?

Stranger things have happened. Durian. Then poop tasting good? What if it did? If you ain't enough just like chorizo? Yeah. Maybe. I hear pineapple does wonders for a different fluid.

This is. We have to move on. Food court in the mall. Food court in them all. My second and third picks. Okay. This is probably too specific for me to take it second, but I don't care. Whatever.

I'm going to say, like, you're outside, and it could be like at an outdoor restaurant or whatever, so I'm not taking those off the board. It's just your outside near where a concert-free music you don't listen to is happening. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? That's a great pick. where you're like, that's a great piece.

All the people go into an EDM concert. All the people go to an EDM concert. All the people go to like a Brooks and Dunn concert. Dog, I was riding my bike by Mile High Stadium and there was a Morgan Wallin concert. Yeah, dude. And I was like, what the fuck? And I was on the bike.

I was like, what the fuck is going on? What are all these assholes doing? Last time I did the, what's the club in Denver called? Oh, Comedy Works. Comedy Works in Denver. One of the nights, I don't even, I forget which country musician, but there was like a big country musician. and doing a concert somewhere.

It might have been Morgan Wallen, whatever. But like all the people all dolled up in like their country Western finery and all like the different kinds of that from like the very like tucked in guys to the women, you know, like all tied up and like they're like the sexy cowboy, like whatever outfits. It's just so funny to see.

It's like heartwarming to see in a way where they're so excited. They're so excited. They're so happy. Yeah. And like it extends from like you said EDM to Brooks and Dunn until like maybe there's like the Brandy and Monica tour is happening. Like all the different groups of people you see like all coming out. It's it's a little bit like when you go, well, I don't want to say this because this might be a pick actually.

But the more specific, the person, like an ICP concert or something, or damn, look at, or a slip knot. Yeah. Where everyone's like no denying where they're going. People are the street for an ICP concert. Oh, you know, I have the turn. I'm going to take this other one then. So the thing it's like is like when this used to happen a lot more, now everything is. self-tape. People watching in a casting room.

Brother, I was just talking to somebody about this when you are in that room and you're like, oh, this is what Hollywood thinks. This is who they think I am. Yeah. I remember when I first moved here, I got one. It was for like a waiter on two broke girls or some shit. And I, like, it was just all guys who big, you know where it's like Uncanny Valley where you're like, it's a bunch of me but not me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And one of the guys was like, yeah, we were wondering who you were. We all see each other. That's right. You were the new fish. Yeah, and I was like, this is bizarre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the old business.

Not like that anymore. It's not like that anymore. Now everything is self-tape, send it in, but like it used to be you would show up in a room and there'd be like eight to 10 other guys who like kind of looked like you. All slubby waiters mid-20s lack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever it is. Yeah, whatever it is. and you're like, you also kind of study them to you're like, I can wear those kind of shoes. Or like, I definitely shouldn't dress like that guy. Or like, whatever it was, you could sort of pick up moves, which is also a little, it's the same feeling

I get from seeing like a concert where you're like, look at all of this kind of person all together. You know what I mean? Variations on a theme. Variations on a theme. Exactly right. Exactly right. Thank you, Isaac.

I mean, it's going crazy. The casting room, and we're going to get to David's third pick right after the short break. Alienware's back-to-school event is the perfect time to score top gaming gear with incredible features and Intel core processors to go beyond performance. Save big on gaming desktops, laptops, and more. Start your Alienware journey with the Alienware 15 gaming laptop featuring Intel Core processors, smoothly game, live stream, and multitask for hours on end, plus play-through every game exactly how you want with customizable Alien FX lighting across your Alienware Eco.

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Children's sporting event. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. That really brings out a lot in people. I would like to have a kid because I'm always walking past the baseball games of the park by my house. Yeah. And I would love to just post up and watch because there's a lot.

Yeah. A lot going on, man. A lot going on there. I clock almost every dad immediately and just to see like what's what's going on. How aggressive do they look? Like what? Because it's kids get nuts at these things. You see it happen like these dads will be on the sidelines swearing and stuff sometimes.

Especially with the little kids you can feel where you're like, oh, that's an extension of you. That's how you're treating this. You can see trauma being laid down or the opposite. You can also see the best. Which is really wonderful. Rarely, my experience, has it been aggressive. But like there's this kid, Max's soccer team. Trauma's strong word, but sorry.

His dad would like scream at him for missing kicks. We're talking a four-year-old soccer. They don't even keep score. Yeah. And if he missed a kick or something, his dad would like pull him aside and scream in his face. That's brutal. And you can't, you know, you can't.

What can you do? A couple times I was like if it, if it gets gnarlier, I might go over there. But then you're like, yeah, what's going to happen? What's the long term of this? You can't be there all the time. That's the issue. Yeah.

And why I was going to adopt, we were going to take the kid. You were to adopt the kid. Yeah, right. Take him off his hands. Adopt the dad. Then you're the kid's grandpa. Yeah, teach him out. Hey, man, come in out with me for a while.

Yeah. That's how you'd be mellow. Yeah. That's smart. And then you sort of reparent this father and you get the best relationship they say. That's what they're not telling us to do. Adopt bad dads. Don't adopt the kids.

You adopt the dad. Good point. Yeah. It is those sporting events. Sometimes. Iffy, we're going to, we're looking to adopt the dad right now. Yes. Just as a podcast.

You know, the way like you sort of sponsor a sports team. We're looking to sponsor a dad. And for just $5.995 a day. I was going to say, just for the price of a cup of coffee. We'll buy you two tickets to a baseball game in a non-major city. Oh, let's go. So they can be Pittsburgh and play.

Go see the Canaries. It can't be New York. I can't be L.A. Go to Sioux Falls. See the Canaries? Go see the pickles. Seattle. Glob-chrotters.

I'm talking, I mean hubs. It can't be a top five American city. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. Go see the Hillsborough Hopps? Absolutely. Tacoma Rainier's? Tacoma Rainier's definitely in play.

That's what they are? Yeah. That's fun. The Chattanooga biscuits? Are they the lookouts? Chattanooga? I think it's the Tbilica nudge. The Biscanuga chatter.

The Tadolito mud hens? I like seeing the support from the parents too. Getting so hyped when their kid gets the ball or whatever. And they're just like, get it done me. Just freaking out. Can I tell you this is weird and it feels like me getting older? When I witness someone being a good person, parent, it makes my heart full.

Yeah. Oh, it's really nice. It's like when you see somebody really support, like me and Alana were in the, we were in a parking lot. It was like right after we moved and this lady was like, not yelling at her kid, but having like a stern talking and the kid wasn't listening.

And she was like, how did she say it? She was like, Jalen, Jalen, show me I can trust you. I need you to show me I can trust you. And we still say that to each other sometimes. Just like, We were both like, oh my God. That's a good relationship.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like really inspiring to see. That's great. That is fantastic. Children's sporting events. That's a great pick. Sean, time for your third and fourth picks. I'm watching these people at weddings.

Oh, sure. I think it's fun. Yeah. Wedding also brings out a lot in people. It really does. A lot of emotions. A lot of stuff. I like watching people and it sounds like a joke, but it's not.

Like when you see two people getting married, it's arguably the happiest they're ever going to be with each other. That's not a bad thing. It's like where they're just like it's raw love. You mean like the wedding day? The wedding day. Do you feel that way about your wife? Well, now that Max is around, the happiest I get is, was seeing her. That's what I mean.

It's like, doesn't it expand? Like, do you feel that way about your wife? What's that? That the wedding was like that. Your posture is crazy. You said it. You did it like the Blazers just emailed you like, hey, we gave your checkaway. And you're trying to figure out a way around it.

How do I feel like a wedding? When two people get married to me, it feels like damn near the happiest they're ever going to be. Not in a bad way. Just that this is like the height of absolute happiness and raw love and emotion. It's all yes and yes and no because it's also such a stressful day. Yeah. I almost think like the day after your wedding is the most in love you a love for me. Damn, we did it.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's just to you again. It's like because it's this huge, like long buildup of pressure and anxiety and little fights that you have to have with each other and with your parents and with like all sorts of other people. And then like the wedding is for you, but it's really for everyone you know. It's like, let me throw a party for everyone I love and know. I didn't think about the wedding.

I was like, none of this is for me. Yeah. Like me specifically. It's a big thing for like everybody else. And it's wonderful, but it's wonderful and you feel very honored. But even that feels a little awkward. and it's this huge buildup and this huge crescendo

of all this emotion and energy and then it builds up and then all of a sudden it like completely washes away and then it's just the two of you left standing there and that I think is the moment when you're like the happiest but also I feel happier now

you know what I mean like I feel like that's when I was hoping to hear man that's what I was hoping to hear yeah I'm not saying I'm not saying the way you said it makes it sound like a guy who peaked in high school It's not meant to sound that way.

I said it when we were in the car the other day. I wanted to feel like the beginning of something. Which very well put. I forget exactly what you said, but yeah, just not the ending in the beginning. Yeah. I sang I closed my eyes and did this ear thing. Yeah. I don't want to air out.

But the, like, everyone crying, happy tears. I love. I love the dance, obviously. The one person who has a couple too many. Still just rocking on the dance. One. The kids dancing. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of that.

There's two in this room. There's three in this room. There's going to be a lot of that at mine. What do you mean we can't have a shot? What if we give you $50? Ian said no. I feel like a buzz ball's going to make it. I did say no shots of my wedding.

That's smart. That was for you. It was great. Not you specifically, but for the general. It was a great move. Yeah. So yeah, weddings. And then my fourth pick is going to be.

Also the outfits. Yeah. I do like The different ways people interpret. I like it when somebody shows up that you didn't. Yeah. We're like, okay, Knaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And John's wedding? Ow, wow. Yeah, he looks good. The king of the forest. Yeah. I don't know. The opposite is Shane. Huh?

She's a little Shane, dig. I don't know how much I love, like, how much enjoyment I get out of this, but it's very interesting is watching people on public transportation. Oh, yeah. Specifically the bus. Yeah. Oh, yeah, anything can happen on the bus.

Like, scarier than most. Like, that's, most of the things that are fun to see people watching watching on the bus are pretty freaky things that happen. Sometimes it's pretty regular, though, especially, like, traffic, like, like, post work. Yeah. Or, like, in the morning and stuff. Yeah. It's like late night public transportation. Having your regulars on the bus is an interesting thing.

Like, people that you know just from seeing them every day, but you've never said a word to them. Yeah. Maybe excuse me. I used to have that on the one that ran down Burnside. Yeah, the 20. Yeah, the 20. Yeah, get you right to the Brody. Yeah, that's right.

And then just like the wild stuff. Like I've told that guy that was on there, bare hand of mashed potatoes, there was that guy that lit a cigarette. And the bus driver kicked him off. He goes, put that out. And he goes, fuck you. A cigarette and no shoes.

That poor driver, just like, all right. That's what, when you see the drivers get like gnarly with someone, I'm always sketched out because it's like, that's your bus route. They know where to find you, you know? But also, you're a bus. driver. I think they're forged in the fire. Yeah, those people are built. It feels like it. It's not like,

Bill Ford tough. You never really see a bus driver where you're like, this person's like soft. I never see someone. I'm like, he's in over his head. I've never seen that one. Never feel that way. You're honestly for like, you're in pretty good hands. Yeah. It feels that way. They feel they always, I, school bus not so much. No. Like bus bus. Which feels like it should be the opposite. All different story of school bus. I've seen school bus drivers get molested. man. Not obviously.

Not sexually. Yeah, not sexually, but like just kids really... We used to throw snowballs. We'd get our hands up on the roof and throw like ice balls of the bus driver. Just, yeah. Bad, rotten, nasty children. Yeah, yeah. Evil.

And David, your fourth pick. How everybody reacts right after a fight. Oh! Because it's just like weird energy. There's satellite fights every now again? Satellite fights. A bunch of dudes pretend. A bunch of dudes who you know.

know, didn't want to be in the fight, pretending some women acting weird. Two seconds longer, I would have been in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want everything they can to not cry? Yeah, people, like, catching the fumes off of the, you know what I mean? Like, now they're more aggressive with each other. It's just like a wild scene. Yeah, it's always real weird.

That level of adrenaline. That's why we used to go for a tiny little window, we'd go to Popadocks and watch the fights. And I was never a UFC guy. I hate going to watch UFC fights at places. Yeah, after a while I had to call it. It gets people all in the mood. Yeah, they get riled up. And it's like always a bunch of dudes who train a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I've been to UFC, like, at the Pepsi Center in Denver or ball arena. And then we used to tell jokes at this bar right after. It would be right after the fights. And it's just like, it's always just dudes who were like just keyed up and a little bit know how to fight. and want to show that to everyone in proximity. Just the guy with a hobbyist's cauliflower ear? Yeah.

I don't like it. I like that less. Yeah, I like that less. But like when a bar fight or something happens, it's just always really interesting. Yeah. Excellent pick. Time for my fourth and my final picks.

For my fourth pick, I'm going to take the beach. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I just like, this one's almost exclusively positive, too. Caviot. I don't, if someone's playing the right kind of music at the beach, now that's obviously open up, open for interpretation. Yeah.

I feel like the music you're playing at the beach should not have been made in the last 10 years. Oh, that's pretty fair, actually, for real. Like genre be damned. Genre be damned, but I needed to have been a little, like, kind of vetted by society to an extent. You know, I don't want to hear that new shit at the beach. I don't want to hear that new shit at the beach. I don't want that like, but if there's any sense of nostalgia in it, I'm like immediately 10 clicks less mad about it.

Timeless in the way that the beach is time. Timeless in a way to the beach is timeless. I go back and forth. I complained yesterday about it, about music and public, I think, at like a frisbee golf park or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I'm in. If someone's playing sublime next to me, I'm not going to tell them to do anything about it. If it's like 70s, 80s, 90s hits, you know, even early 2000s, I'm like, at least this makes me feel,

comfortable in a way. Yeah. It's also how hard is it going? And what time? And what's the vibe of the beach? I don't need it to be vulgar like some like hit him up. Someone's playing hit him up at the beach. Yeah, I don't want that. I might like it, but I'm like, I don't want to be self-conscious.

I don't want you bumping it. That's what I'm saying. Like if it's kind of a low, I really don't mind because quite frankly, I do that every now and again. Like I got a little speaker. Sure. Yeah, if it's low. Throw on some Stevie one. or some shit. I mean.

Turn that up as loud as it. I'm having a great time. No, but it's like, it's the beach so you don't even want. I know what I mean? But Saturday at like two, you can't be mad at music. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I don't want to live in that world. Yeah. But it's great. Like you, people are usually pretty happy. You see the different ways to engage with it.

You see that big cool. You see kids having a fun time, like running around. Also getting that little like a little bit of unsupervised to like supervised. Like the parents got their eyes on them but like just four kids running off.

and playing in the surf together. Yeah. So that's really fun and heartwarming. And then just all the different ways people choose to dress at the beach is always pretty fun and interesting. You can see the guy in the jeans. You're like, all right, you're wearing jeans at the beach. You're that guy. Also how people choose to play.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you're always like one guy where it's like, what's he doing with that bodyboard? Yeah. Oh, you guys got a football, but you don't seem to know how to throw it. But that's cool. You're having a good time? A guy spinning like the not on fire flame sticks kind of thing, you know, like the ropes. That guy just bought a boogie board that he's going to go use

And maybe figure Yeah Then he's going to have to explain it to his wife When she comes four hours later What's it got on it? What's that? What's it got on it? A bunch of sharks in a no trespassing sign

That's what you want That they're biting through That's what you want That's what you want Sometimes you get young sharpie I might take that to the beach While she's gone Oh yeah

There you go She comes back You can fucking boogie board with the best of them Yeah I do want to get better at it over this The thing I think about boogie boarding is like, I think it's a pretty binary thing. I think either like you can't do it or you can do it. I don't think it's like you can't do it or you're kind of good or you're very good or you're like a master. I think that is it though.

I think it's just still skill. It's like anything. I guess you're right. So dumb. Stink. You can't stink. All right. My last pick, I'm going to take the art museum.

Oh, yeah. It's so funny. Yeah. MoMA was, I think, three years ago or whatever when we all went to that. In New York? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was a stressful day.

That was a stressful day. That was a very stressful day. But it was, I mean, that was mad interesting watching people. How long do you linger? Who knows what about what? The museum fits that people get, because they dress some, a lot of people go dress like the art museum, where there will some avant-garde glasses and jewelry and everything. A lot of people don't, though, especially in L.A.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get, like, museum bad bitches. definitely maybe that's just an LA thing that's dressing like the art museum to an extent that's fair that's fair but you also see like flip-flops there sometimes

yeah yeah you're at the museum who are you judge take it in I remember I was at I was in London I think I was at the um the Tate modern and they had some Marcel Duchamp like that Dada art where he like wrote his name on like a toilet

you know what I mean like or San Antonio and pipe like that stuff and there were French teenagers there one of them was wearing a black turtleneck. French teenager in a black turtleneck looking at modernist art in a museum. It was better than the art. And you're like, this is what it's always been.

That's what it's always been. And it was just like, so cool to see that. It was like, look at this. This is like perfect. It felt like drinking like Bordeaux and Bordeaux. It was like that kind of shit. You know what I mean? Do you see the Seagram murals? The Brothoooos? In, oh, yeah, yeah.

You've seen the Seagulled's murals. Yeah. It's amazing. It's insane. London's got some good museums. Sean said he yeah yeah I heard David time for your final pick oh uh Target after 6 p.m. during the week oh interesting

it's a specific kind of folk someone I love very much once said to me if you're together at target after 6 p.m. you're fucking raw yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right it's like it's like it's like couples it's like heavily couples you see people with their kids

yeah yeah yeah Yeah, but it's like, I don't know how to explain it, but it's a different vibe than the grocery store. Couple skate, yeah. Yeah, Target or a Walmart is kind of the same thing. Target's a little more fun than the grocery store. Yeah, anything. There's a little more air of predictability at Target. You know what I mean?

Let me go see what the sporting goods are. Sure. And it's, but it's just like very young couples. Yeah. Or not young couples. Couples our age, like 30s couples. Yeah. You know what I mean?

That's right. we're all in our 30s. You go and you go play catch. Like, look at it. There's a football over here going on the end of the aisle. You might buy a board game? You can buy a board game. But you're buying a board game because you are having your sister and her friends over there.

Yeah. And you're like, should we play cranium? Like a new addition. Because I think about the years of my life that I was whiling the most, that was the furthest I ever was from Target. That's right. When I was really whiling out, I was never in a Target. Ever, ever.

It's brought you closer in. Yep. Yeah. I'm in Target a bunch. Yeah. Five times a week I'm in target. Yeah. You have a goatee.

Father fucker. It looks like it, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Oh, we bet. Yeah. God damn it. You know, growing gray.

I don't care if the whole thing's gray. You know what's not? I'm realizing how much I've watched your hair turned colors in the time I've known. This was all brown when we met. Yeah. That's crazy. Any thought? And I'm not saying you should.

Dying at gray? Or the other way. No. No? I can't go the other way. You can have a guy combing in. You can get a really good, no. I would go lighter if I were.

No, I could, I, I told myself, yeah, I told myself that's a move I would never make. Why not? I, I, well. You could try it once. Be you not proud. Try it once and don't tell us. And then if it goes good, maybe pull. up to the tenure. It would have to be

so subtle for you not to notice. That's all right. Yeah, because you got white. I'm sorry, I'm just, you know when you just like, it's like when you realize somebody lost a lot of weight all at once? Yeah. That's how I'm feeling looking at your, I'm just remembering, I'm like, yeah, it was just all brown. You kind of go gray. It's that, like, that

quote about how you go broke. It's like a little bit of time and then all at once. It's like also kind of how you go gray. My dad, this shit was completely white by the time he was damn near, I don't. I don't know. I don't. I'm coming up on, I'm going to be older than he was when he died pretty quick in like six months. Yeah. And then you're going to, and then you're going to double it up.

And it all goes dark again. Yeah. Be tight. I'm going to get that energy. Sean, your final pick. Final pick, I am going to say a casino. Oh, that's great. I love watching people at a casino.

And I bet you they like watching me. Speaking. I mean, you know, the casino is a little bit of all of our picks mashed into one. Yeah. It is a wild place. You get the people all dolled up going off to, like, a concert. You get the people who are, like, basically wearing pajamas. You know what I mean?

You get the people making bad decisions with their children. You get the people, like, you get a little bit of everything. $100 a $100 a spin at roulette, just throwing all their money away with their friends kind of clawing at them. Yeah, they got you in. Yeah, yeah. It is. And then sometimes, you know, there's people that have nothing to do with the casino. They're just passing by.

Sure. They don't want to be. They're in their bathing suits. People at work? Yeah. Yes, people at work. People do work there. Could be on a cruise ship, you see a casino.

Yeah. You know that. You tell us. I was, I walked through the casino cruise ship. That's a bum. That feels like we can go bad. It's a darker. I found out that we can't gamble, which they didn't tell me.

So I'm happy someone told me that the next day. But yeah, I was, there's a part of me where I'm like, I'm bored. Why not? Why not put a C-note into the slot machine? Thank God. Thank God. Yeah, I didn't That would have been your last cruise, brother

Might have been anyway Yeah, we'll see We'll see it Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah, I can't believe You guys didn't take coffee shop We're dumb I can't either

You suck, dude That is my favorite place to people watch Yeah, yeah I kind of pictured myself at one When this concert was happening But I didn't take it That's a great pick Or the park but really

Yeah Coffee shop I love the park I do that all day Over at a black elephant in that Water Village. That is a great people watching. Kyle, speaking of people watching,

Kyle just texted me and he goes, we're in Houston, and ICP is playing in the House of Blues right above the comedy club. Sorry, you're missing it. That would be fun. Boy, can we get you there? I was at that club with him last year.

It's two hours ahead. I like that you are on last minute plane ticket energy. I'm on that vibe. Anything's possible. That's a cool energy. This time tomorrow, I will have been in Portland for six hours

at this time tomorrow. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah. A loving and patient wife. To recap, I went first. I took airport, outdoor restaurant where a concert is happening, casting room, the beach and the art museum. David went in second. He took bowling, food court at the mall, children's sporting events, right after a fight,

and Target after 6 p.m. during the week. Sean took bar, traffic, weddings, the bus, and a casino. Hit us up with yours. We want to hear him. Yeah, what was his favorite places to get laid? That's right. Playboy! Anywhere. Anywhere with ground.

That used to be my high five when he was seven years. What places don't have ground? That's exactly. Oh, I get it. All Fantasy Podcast at Gmail.com. Shot to everyone on the All Fantasy Podcasts at the Patreon where you can get auction episodes, live episodes, mail bags, this or that. Also, the belly watch along, other movie watch along.

Isaac's Tasteful Nudes. Isaac's Tasteful Nudes. They've come back at summertime. The weather is hot. Nipples are on point. Shout out to Super Producer Isaac. on the ones and twos. Shout out to

the All Fantasy Everything subreddit. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel, Frankie Ocean, said the dude, Hodgie Beats, and more important than all that. Tune to get next week

to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. That was a Hidgum podcast. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show coming to F***.

Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast. the podcast. A new show now on Headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to roll.

Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called?

The Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV.

God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him.

Every time. Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.