All Fantasy Everything - Places To Sleep That Aren't a Bed (w/ Ryan Nanni, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

Listen, we've all slept somewhere that wasn't our bed and maybe we weren't thrilled about it. Next time you find yourself without your bed, just pop on this episode and let us guide you to a better place! We're AFE and we'll leave the light on for ya!   Episode Guest: Ryan Nanni @celebrityhottub IG: @celebrityhottub Podcast: Shutdown Fullcast   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting places to sleep that aren't your bed. Our guest today is a writer and host of the Shutdown Forecast podcast.

He's also on a quest right now to be on as many podcasts this year as he can, although we would have loved to have him anyway. He is also the recently disgraced chief conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic Symphony. His name is Ryan Nanny. Joining me as always are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey.

Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that went on a long bike ride today. Good job. Big thighs, dude. How long? Not that long. Like 10 miles. That's long. Crush feels great. Thighs feel brolic. Calves are popping, dude.

You have good, you do, you talk about it, you're not scared to bring it up, but you got good calves. Thank you very much. You and Jay Larson. Jay Larson's got some nice calves too. We're two of the calf guys. Yeah, absolutely. You can come see them. Ryan, you can talk whenever the hell you want. I'm self-conscious about my calves now. I don't even know. Pop them out. Let's see them. Put them on camera. Come on. Don't tease us. Yeah. What do we think? It's a fine calf. It's an okay calf.

Yeah, absolutely. It's a pale calf is what it is. It's getting you where it needs to get you. Did I see a hatchet? I saw a hatchet tattoo on that calf tonight. You remember the fam? Wacky circus gang. Sean Jordan's here. Sean S. Jordan twitter sean coogan mel jordan on instagram sean what the you're in south dakota right now i'm in my childhood bedroom homeboy my oh is this it it's so my sister there's a lot less africa decor that i thought this is all my

sister's stuff but this is technically the room she has all this stuff from her gothic phase you see that big angel? Yes. That chained up angel in a tower? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're going to go ahead and blame that on your sister is what's going to happen here. What would have been in this room when you lived there? All kinds of skateboard.

Like, I used to rip all the pictures out of magazines and just cover the whole wall. So pretty much all of it. I think I had a big Rage Against the Machine poster. But any magazine. So a lot of Red Book representation up there. Better Hunger and Darkness. Reader's Digest. Reader's Digest.

The New England Journal of Medicine. There's just a magazine here called Guns that I would just, you know. Guns, dude. Yeah. Wait, where would you decompress from your baths every morning? Up here. Ryan, Sean was an AM bather. All through high school, man school i don't know how that

seriously straight up i would eat breakfast in the bathtub did you go to high school like 1905 they were only in session three months of the year because they had to like you know sew and till my dad moved away when i was six months old to be a dry good salesman yeah also tuberculosis was raging. Yeah. The consumption. Uh, you know,

I, I just took bath salt through high school, man. I still take at least two a week. A week. Yeah. Whoa. If I had a deeper bath,

I might be good. I might be on that. I, I was feeling sick and I took a bath with Epson salt. Yeah. About like a week and a half ago, two weeks ago. And it was pleasant.

I do it for muscle stuff too, from skating and stuff. It does help, you know. I have this, I have this bath oil that is, it's bonkers good. But my bath is so shallow that I just can't, I like, I feel very silly in it. You also seem tall for a bath. I'm tall. Can I tell you something? You're tall as fuck. Yeah.

Last time I was at your house, I peed in that bath oil. You mother that bath oil you mother no you haven't been to my house since i got it you prick maybe visit more and then you can get your fucking price i didn't want to see you i came down just to do that and i didn't tell you absolutely no i got this fucking i got a tight a tight perimeter on this house bro please come see me easter weekend at the comedy fort in fort collins colorado everybody's you're always gonna come bro you think i don't know different ways to say jesus yeah i'm not i'm not gonna be there i'm gonna be in alaska yeah that would be a wild place for jesus to come back to earth right jesus is like fort collins colorado easter comedy show that's that's the spot if that's the spot that he chose chooses to come back that he was the charlatan i always yeah that's

if he comes to the comedy that's how we're starting this billions of christians just like nope not following this dude can't be it absolutely not no absolutely not just a backwards fitted and like a an unbranded like a no player broncos jersey you know what i mean he shut up in jinkos and that was it we all decided to bail he just wants to go to a brewery really bad a no player his own brew he's like oh i make a better brown than this yeah you're like i don't know jesus man well you know i'll be there and it'd be nice if some people showed up jesus will be making his return in an instagram reels crowd work video at the fort collins black guy heckles jesus it's gonna get a billion views.

Where else, Sean? I think that's it. Is that it? I think so. I don't know. Yeah, I think. Hell yeah. David Bore is here.

Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Coming soon to a city near you in person. Coming soon to, I am going to be, uh, uh, March 23rd through 26th. I'm going to be at Sunnyvale, California, at Rooster Teeth Feathers, March 31st through April 1st. I'm going to be at the Dallas Comedy Club, Easter weekend, April 7th, 8th, and 9th. I'm going to be in Anchorage, Alaska for the Before You Die Festival. Nate Newton is opening for you in Dallas,

right? I don't know. Is he related to camp? Is that a guy? He's a Dallas Cowboy player from the 90s. He's the big lineman, right? Oh, the big Nate Newton? He got caught with all the weed, right?

He got caught selling like 300 pounds of weed? Oh, yeah. Nate Newton Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got caught with all the weed, right? He got caught selling like 300 pounds of weed? Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, Nate Newton, come through. Bro, I want all the bad boy cowboys, except for Michael Irvin. I think he would start a fight. Who was that one famous center?

Wasn't there like a famous center on the Bills? On the Cowboys? You're talking about Larry Allen, who was a guard? No. There's like a famous center. Am I an asshole? Am I making this up? I don't know if there's ever been a famous center.

Jack. I, uh, yeah. And I will, can I also say, by the way, I just watched that Baltimore Ravens 30 for 30. R.I.P. to the goose. That guy was so charming. You want to talk about back when just fat guys were football players? He was my idol.

He was the... He had so many shenanigans. He was always locking Shannon Sharp in rooms. That's what we need right now. Now Shannon Sharp is in the world unchecked because Tony Siragusa's energy is gone and look at him. He's heckling LeBron.

I mean, Skip Bayless is no Goose. No, he's no Goose. What an emotional whiplash to go from Goose to Skip. God, it makes me feel for Shannon because I hate Skip. I think Skip is like... I think Shannon might hate Skip too. I think so. It sure seems like it on a few of those recent interactions.

Skip is a dick. That whole thing about you're not as good as tom brady what the fuck are you talking about skip baylor that's the criteria have you ever held a football you talk to me absolutely not he's also an old guy in sneakers stop it yeah yeah i i i i sharp looks like he could play tomorrow tomorrow that guy's built still. He is hot as fuck. Like your finger wouldn't move if you touched his chest. I saw him with his shirt off on Instagram like a week ago. It was insane. That's all your

Discover page is. It's mostly just Shannon Sharp propaganda. Sterling, Shannon, Shaden, any Sharp. All the Sharp brothers. It's just the Sharps working out. That's my I love Instagram.

And then like Goose fan fiction. God. I know Tony Siragusa must have been a good athlete because he was in the NFL. But to me, in high school, I'm like, that dude's just fat, which means I can make it. I just have to show you, this is on my phone for real. I have that picture saved on my phone. Why do you have a picture of Tyrese on your phone? Because I put it on his Facebook page a decade ago.

Nine years ago. I bet he was just as excited then. Yeah, I was. They got pictures of Tyrese on here? That's evergreen. You know the rules. Oh, I farted. I laughed so loud I farted just right there uh any more dates david uh no uh no oh uh

third friday of every month so it's going to be i believe march 18th come to high note comedy denver we're having jordan rock in march and then in april we are having the hilarious britney carney from new york all very funny people high note denver.com or instagram if you're interested in that and uh other than that you know i'll be trying not to tour as much as last year so i'll be just like around denver telling jokes there you go my nanny is here shut up sean you see that picture of jack nicholson on the wall i'll do that to you oh shit that had to be there that's yours yours right that's my that's okay yeah yeah that's timeless dude it is i can't imagine being inside any of my childhood rooms that That's insane. Isn't it fucked up that Stanley Kubrick isn't British?

He's not? No, he's American. I guess I've never heard him talk. Where is he from in America? I feel like he's from upstate New York. Hold on a second. Okay, that's basically like dollar store Britain. They're British, right?

Yeah. I thought Frazier was British the whole run of that show. Just fancy. Yeah, he's... Oh, no, he's from New York City. Okay. Did you guys not think Frazier was British the whole run of that show. Just fancy. Oh, no, he's from New York City. Did you guys not think Frazier was British? No. The titular Frazier? Yeah.

He didn't have an accent. He does have an accent. It's just a fancy man accent, though. I always thought he was British the whole run of that show. How did you explain his dad though? I just thought that his dad was a common American who had sex with a posh British woman. It's happened before. Have you, King Ralph, ever seen it?

Yeah, I would watch it. If you're telling me Frasier is a King Ralph sequel, I'm in. I'm 100% in. I thought everybody thought that they were British. I didn't know that they just were talking like fancy boys. I'll tell you, I'm from Portland, Oregon, and you lived in Tacoma for a long time, David. Yeah, when I was watching Frasier, I wasn't watching it. But we were aware of it.

I didn't know anybody who sounded like Frasier. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. The Boston Brahmin accent is a foreign sounding accent. Yeah, it is. Isn't Madonna British sometimes? Like in every other interview interview she's kind of british yeah brother i think that she is doing whatever she wants she's kind of like underrated psycho yeah i think it's rated well yeah i think it was like i think as she got older she couldn't contain it anymore

did you see that video she made to an answer tour that was full of comedians were in it, but then also Lil Wayne for some reason? Andre was in it. That's weird. That seems weird to me. It was really weird. Larry Owens was in it. Amy Schumer. That's weird.

And they were all playing Never Have I Ever. Oh, I did see that! Or Truth or Dare or something like that. That's weird. And they were all playing like, never have I ever. Oh, I did. Or I truth or dare or something like that. Like I did see, I don't know what the fuck that was. Yeah. I did see that.

I wish I had named like one random six or been like, Eric Snow. Was it? Old and Polynesian. I have like a lot of lines. It was good. It was really funny though. He's done a lot. It was crazy. Did was really funny though. He's done a lot.

It was crazy. Did Chuck Knobloch was working the camera? Like you could feel, you could feel a master's hand. Go Twinks, Playboy, Ken Herbeck. I'm out here.

I did see that. What was that all about? It was her announcing her tour, but it was just like a 10 minute. I would, I'd go see her on tour. I would see that show for sure. It would be fucking amazing. I kind of actually, now that you said, I didn't know that. I. I would see that show for sure. It would be fucking amazing.

I kind of actually, now that you said, I didn't know that. I think I'm going to do that. I think I'm going to drop a bunch of money to go see Madonna up close. I would go with you to that show. She might be done, right? Well, you know, who knows? But I think this might be like, you might be catching the last peak. The last good one.

Yeah. Because she is old. If there's like a power ranking of like, who's been the longest since they've heard the word no. Madonna. Madonna's up there. Oh, yeah. Streisand is up there. Bobby Brown has a really funny story about having sex with Madonna.

Where it was just like the whole thing was. That made my stomach hurt a little bit. It left Bobby Brown being like, what the fuck just happened? Yeah, I bet. Think about Madonna and Sean Penn boning. I mean, that's crazy to think about. That makes sense to me. I don't know.

She's powerful. He's so serious. Yeah, maybe. She takes herself very seriously. She seems to. I think that's like a hurricane. She's like a hurricane. I want to see her live.

I don't want to meet her no i would rather not meet madonna i would rather i think i'd walk away with like oh man she said riz a lot yeah madonna not invited on the podcast yeah not invited i mean we would have to if she wanted to we would have to say yes but i wouldn't be stoked about it no it would be it would be a it would be a job that i would be stoked enough for everybody on the planet if madonna came on did you ever think madonna seemed like a fun hang i mean no but she's never seen like a fun hang i don't know man whatever video it is where she's wearing that italians do it better shirt that's the most fun

i've ever seen. Newer ones, right? Lower each side. It's Papa. Don't preach. It's Papa. Don't preach. Oh,

definitely not one of the newer ones. Right. That's not fun. Right. Sorry. Sorry. Do you want to hang out with Madonna? At celebrity hot tub on Twitter,

at celebrity hot tub on Instagram. It's a fabulous name, but does, but America wants to know the world demands to know. Does he want to hang out with Madonna? Um, casually, it can't just be me and Madonna.

It's just the two of you. And you're in a, you're in a swan. You're in this paddle boat in the middle of the lake. Oh, wait, now I'm in now. You and Madonna are uninvited guests to a dry wedding.

Ooh. interesting. Oh, no. But then she'll dance it out, right? Then I'm in just for shenanigans, right? Okay. All right. Madonna is explaining back to you something that has been a part of your life for your entire life, and she's been into it for two weeks. That's fine. I don't regard myself that highly.

That's fine. Madonna could do that. Madonna seems like she would get in a fight at a wedding. Or like, that's on the table. Yeah. Yeah. She would have a separate ceremony planned for right after your wedding ceremony

that she would make everybody stay for. I will say, if I was Madonna's guest at a wedding that neither of us were invited to, I would only introduce her as the woman from dick tracy that's it perfect yeah yeah i didn't introduce her as a vita yes i forgot i forgot a league of their own's madonna i mean god she crushed a league of their that's the madonna i want to hang out with yeah all the way may i don't want to hang out with the like a prayer video but like a league of their own for sure.

Pretty great actor. Sometimes. You wish he had done it more. Yeah. Ryan, how are you? I'm fantastic. I'm fantastic. We're just naming Madonna movies.

Yeah, it's great. We're having a great time. I feel great. Do you have anything you would like to direct people towards? having a great time. I feel great. Do you have anything you would like to direct people towards? Other than the shutdown forecast,

which is a college football podcast. That's not about college football. No. I mean, I'm like, I got laid off a month ago. I'm just chilling. If, if you were like,

if you want to like have a sandwich and you live in Nashville, Tennessee, sure. I'll do that with you, but that's all I got. There might be, I mean, you'll probably get some takers.

College football. I'm in my old house trying to get rid of all my stuff. I found a Ricky Waters rookie card. Do you think that's worth any money? No. I saw it and I was like, I want it. He played for the Seahawks. Ricky Running Waters?

He played for Notre Dame, Ricky Waters? Yeah, Ricky Running Waters. In 95 or some shit. Could you find a Ricky Waters jersey? I had a Ricky Waters jersey that I stole from Sears. I'd love to see you in that. What was the other place? Yonkers?

Yonkers. You ever heard of Yonkers, Ryan? Sure. Not the city of New York. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. What's the other Yonkers? The department store exactly there's a department store named after the city in new york cheese and rice it's spelled with a u in it i feel like i'm like i was doing acid my whole life like i'm starting to think it wasn't in the mall but it's spelled yonkers but it's fun to say this is like a mall that doesn't have the license to any.

This is like playing an unlicensed video game of malls. Yeah, for sure. That hatchet tattoo on your calf would fit in perfectly. You're getting a sandwich in Nashville with a stranger. What's your ideal sandwich? What's your perfect sandwich? Gosh. These days.

Oh, it's a tuna melt at a very specific place called Nashville, which fancies itself like the Jewish deli of Nashville, which is a ridiculous thing to say. But it's been here a long time. The Jewish deli of Nashville? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my favorite musical. They'll do the tuna melt where it's just like oh this is this is like

maximum tuna on it not too much tuna because that's a different thing this is my favorite musical yes correct maximum best biscuit I ever had was in Nashville I've still never been to Nashville I gotta go and the bread wasn't bad and Macarena

I I'm saying that after jokes Nashville, I gotta go. We gotta go. And the bread wasn't bad. Hey, Macarena. I'm gonna start saying that after jokes. The Jews of Nashville, is it a proud and plentiful people? I'm Jewish. I couldn't. He is Jewish. I won't speak to their pride. Their plentifulness is not extreme. I cannot speak to their pride. Their plentifulness is not

extreme. I cannot speak to their pride or lack thereof. I do not know. I just don't want to be in a position where it's like, yeah, Ryan decided he speaks for all Jews in Nashville. I like that.

What's up with the Irish in Nashville? Strong contingency of the Irish? Horrible, dirty people. See, now I'm Irish. I think you can tell that by your fucking demeanor. Nice to hear someone other than the Jewish guy talk shit about you. Your darting eyes

and the fingers of a crook with which you're holding that microphone. I remember one time I got off stage and you told me I had the sunken eyes of a widow. And I tried to steal it and use it in a joke, but I was like, I don't talk like that. Nobody thought you wrote that. Nobody was like, oh, Sean, he's so articulate. I might have stolen it from something.

Who knows? These days, dude. I stole it from the Irish. No, no, no, no, no. No, no no it would have fallen apart in the rain if i did that you got any tour dates coming up you dickhead ryan do you have any tour dates coming up no no oh can i add watch uh watch watch watch uh uh royal crackers it uh premieres april 2nd on on adult swim and then april 3rd on hbo max every episode yeah i'll be watching i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be seeing it but um but yeah you know if you want to mess with it go for it but i'm probably not gonna watch it that's the third time i've been a lawyer on television not to brag is it really second time i've been a lawyer on television, not to brag. Is it really? Second time I've been a lawyer on television.

You feel like a man now? Tough guy? You feel big? You feel big? You feel big? You caught me. Oh, I haven't been home since I was on TV, and I brought it up last night at the top. Oh, of course.

You have to. Yeah, that's why you go back home to tell me you were on tv i brought the emmy to portland and whipped it out in the airport dude are you kidding me you bring it through security so you're like oh oh excuse me i made them i made them x-ray and emmy does it have bones wait have you told any have you told anybody this is the first time that you've been home since you were on tv well i just like i wanted to i wanted to come home sooner because i wanted the shine you know and it's worn off because that goes away pretty quick so i was kind of i kind of shoehorned it in a couple places i went to san francisco the day

after i did conan yeah it's fun i mean it's a trip you know but anyway yeah what a one must my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish delhi in nashville found me on there. Nashville, it's a cute name. It is a cute name. This is also a very pro-tuna melt podcast. I hate seafood, and I like a tuna melt. It's the only seafood that I like. I love it.

When they do it right, man. God damn, it's good. Good little spot in LA, right by the Red Lion. Go on. I forget, it's a dinerer it's that diner right by the red lion on um whatever if you live in la then go there it was a good one in highland park too uh cool story borrow can't remember the name of the place lardo in portland has a good one sue carmel whose birthday is tomorrow happy birthday as of its release brought you onto a show ivan

carmel my father so sweet and it was a great it was a great to him oh it was a good fucking yeah that was good it's crazy dad's birthday is yesterday mom's birthday is tomorrow today is truly a sacred time for the Carmel

family I have come see me in Denver Colorado at the comedy works downtown uh june teeth june teens i'm there they're bringing me for june teen go see ian at brigham young i'm gonna wear a backwards kangle hat and tell just really really dig into it. It's called... Oh, my nose. It's called...

I'm doing my one-man show, Perfect Ally. Oh. My nose is so cold. I got that water all in my nose. The one-man show, everyone's blood is red. I'll be there June 22nd, 23rd and 24th at the uh comedy works downtown come see me denver all right i'm very excited i'm very excited for those shows i'm very excited to be in denver for a little while i love that city jesus is not going to be in attendance at your show just so we're

clear no no no no we'll be at mine no No Christ's allowed. Jesus or otherwise. I dare him to show his face. Yeah. Fucking come out, Jesus. See what happens, dude. There's a dude in Denver named Jesus. There's a dude in Denver named Jesus, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. They can get a Jesus there. Is that your next rap song?

A dude in Denver named Jesus. Been working on my next rap song for a while. Me and Jesus the Pimp in an 80-something Granada last night? 79! Fuck, I was close. Oh, man. I don't have any other dates to promote. Watch the Late Late Show

while you can. We're damn near out of here. Keep an eye out for some other stuff and be good to each other. We are gathered here today not only to vaguely sort of hint at future projects but also to fantasy draft places to sleep that aren't your bed yeah and we're saying aren't a bed as well right because i know i can't draft like sean's bed yeah i can't draft madonna's bed i could draft madonna's bed if i wanted to yeah because that's not a bad dude i don't know if you uh some kind of a suspended animation yeah tank situation she hangs yeah she gets hooked

sarcophagus full of shoes i sleep in this it could be that it could very well be that can you guys hear the lawnmower outside lawnmower no can you guys hear the lawnmower outside? Okay, good. Is it a ride-on? Redondo. Nah, if it was a ride-on, I'd be out there doing it. I'd be doing the podcast from the back of it. Data's not mowing the lawn. Beep, beep. The way we determine

the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Wow. Interesting. Three different ones. Here we go again.

Round two. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. We did it again. Round three. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ryan wins. He throws a rock against two paper as it is the unique one. He is the winner of rock, paper, scissors.. He's the winner of rock, paper, scissors.

Ryan, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I need to remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question. Like mowing a lawn, since you just brought it up. It's the perfect way to mow a lawn. You just go from one end to the other, turn, go maybe a foot downfield,

and then come back the other way, turn turn, go maybe a foot downfield, and then come back the other way, turn, maybe go like a foot downfield, and just kind of do the whole thing. Start to finish, A to B, as a crow flies, get it done, back and forth, and you're good. Low center of gravity, head on a swivel. Absolutely. Keep those legs moving. Dig, Carmel! Basically

what that means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, Ryan, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to give myself the first pick because why would I not do that? I'm going to give David pick two. Ian, you're going

to go third. Sean, you're going to go fourth and fifth. Strange territory for me. Do you remember when we picked Shane up from the airport and immediately went on a hike and you were yelling dig torres at him you're just like dig torres absolutely i know it just popped into my head because we were saying that it's tight he uh yeah yeah yeah he will he he was hot he went hiking in thick denim jeans and i was yelling at him i can't imagine we were just the sweatiest people at runyon that day

there's another play that's another play dude the sweatiest people at runyon sweatiest man at runyon canyon he was the sweatiest man at runyon canyon starring dom deluise nah dom deluise checked out i I would, I wonder when. Probably earlier than we think. I have no idea. He kicked the bucket? Really? Nah, 2009. That was too bad. 75? For a man? Now that,

I like putting that in my little, in my gas tank. A man of Dom DeLuise's girth and joviality. He was 75. Dom DeLuise. Dom DeLimitri.

That's a man in a Kangol hat. Yeah. Dom DeLimitri. Ryan, you have the first pick, and we're going to get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy genius. Essentially it just helps you get the life insurance you need Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there.

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but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it

easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. We used to get like on road trips, we just get so thirsty to gamble we would play flip the id where we just get our we'd get our driver's license out and we'd bet a dollar if it was gonna land face up or down and we just like if we didn't have dice we'd play flip the id oh yeah i mean i've got we played flip the pizza box one time which is the same concept but with pizza i've gotten drunk and just played high card yeah yeah that's tight when you're just like who's gonna get the higher card give me money no strategy no possible were there consecutive betting rounds or was it just

truly like we each put in a dollar and whoever gets the high card that's how i played it a consecutive like it just kept going yeah but there wouldn't be like bluffing no because there's no you just draw and show it you can't be like yeahing no because there's no you just draw and show it you can't be like yeah it's not like bullshit where you can like yeah no it's like a it's a 4 a.m it's a stupid guy game just like you might as well play who's taller you guys want to go outside and play who's taller? Everybody throw $5.

Everybody's sitting down. Put five bucks on the ground and stand up. Whoever's tallest wins. That would be a fucking fun game. If a bunch of like on an airplane or something. Like a bunch of dudes who are like kind of the same height. That would be fun. That would be fun. I would actually enjoy that.

Who's taller is a great game. That would be funny just to go surprise like a table of strangers or something. Welcome to the first day of English 101. I need everybody to throw $5 into the pot. Who's taller? That's up there with who's faster, which we all know is my favorite game. Oh, yeah. It's not Sean.

Well, it is. We're talking about me and Jeff Tice. I just didn't want to snap a quad so I took it slightly easy. And he's a new dad. He needed a W. I was thinking about it later with that day. It was kind of dangerous. Let's just have it all those people race. Nobody was warming up.

Just a bunch of grown men racing cold. Me and Blair were talking about that. I haven't sprinted cold like that in a decade. And I was running as fast as I could. And that's if you don't do that, that's not safe. That is how you snap like an Achilles

and shit. And then Steve AJ got a little too excited. Do you remember that? He said race wars? Yeah. He was like, alright. He goes, let's have race wars. And Adam even went over to him. He's like, yeah. He's like, all the black people, all the white people, line up. And Adam's like, hey, man, we can't do that.

Yeah, because he goes blacks versus whites. We're like, Steve, Steve, Steve. I forgot about the middle of the day. He was so excited. He didn't have shoes on by then. He was excited. Him and adoye of all the times that i've seen the race war brought up that was probably the most jovial one all the times i've heard somebody with that sentiment race wars everybody lied it's like that and past the viewers are really the only times it was okay i can't believe they call it race wars in that movie

that's one of the craziest things and i i didn't even kind of think that that was weird at the time i was like yeah they're racing it's like a war you guys want to go to race wars they go out of their way to say it multiple times so many times totally i wonder in the script if anybody thought it was different like if tyrese is like all right oh wait he wasn't in that one. Somebody, though. Someone. Someone was like, race wars? Someone said something. Somebody had. It's too many people. Everybody's educated.

I bet a bunch of people said it to each other, and then none of them said it to the person who makes the decision. That's probably it. I know that you didn't say we're back yet, but who's taller is pretty funny, and so is all this stuff. So I think it should just be part of the episode. Or am I crazy? and we have been back to all fields everything the only podcast that has ever existed except of course for the shutdown forecast oh second place love it those are the two it's not even a ranking thing it's just that we're the only two podcasts okay yeah that's fine that works everything else has been us doing impressions so if you listen to like marketplace

probably you guys planet money planet money's us i bet you the popular band the chain smokers has a podcast i hope so fuck out god damn podcast it's this one it's this one also where did that come from sean we're the chain the Chainsmokers. I've been wanting to tell you, David. Ian and I are the Chainsmokers. We're the Chainsmokers. And you're Halsey. Whoa, I had a feeling.

Is it weird that I had a feeling? That you knew you were Halsey? I just like, I couldn't, I never even wanted to say it out loud, but I could feel it deep down. You're a good singer. I do my best. Great guy. Good singer. Ryan, you have the first pick.

In the places to sleep that aren't your bed, All Fantasy Everything draft. And that first pick will be your first pick on All Fantasy Everything. I'm going to go with poolside chair. Poolside lounge chair. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.

That's a great one. That's a fucking great one. I feel like I don't even need to explain this pic. I feel so good about it. It's... I used to... I'll still drink every now and then, but I used to drink, you know, plenty.

Listeners to this podcast will be well acquainted with that. And I had one weekend at the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs. Been there. Slept in a poolside chair there it's and it's so hot and you get those uh pina coladas with the rum float i didn't even know what that was until you ordered one and i was like we can get a shot on top of our mixed drink i get a shot on my liquor drink and just got like blasted on pina coladas went swimming and then like fell asleep in a poolside chair. And it's one of the grand moments of my life.

It feels very good. It feels very good. I've said this before. It feels sleeping wet is an oddly comforting feeling. Well, because you don't wake up wet. Correct. You wake up dry yeah we've even talked about post-football practice taking a shower getting mostly dry and then falling asleep still hair wet right after oh yeah oh my god oh my god that's a lot i do that a lot a lot of nights i'll take a shower right before i go to bed because yeah i

never really is that weird i never thought about it i don't think so of all your bathing habits i don't think that's i just like to go to bed squeaky clean it's fun are you a padded is this a padded seat is this the this way i don't even know how to describe it yeah how do you do it i think i'm going just traditional like weird rubber slat seat with a towel over it. I don't need, I don't need like if, if there's a fancy chair, I'll take it. But any, any poolside lounge nap is a good one. Yeah. Truthfully.

Mostly because you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm still at the pool. This is great. Yeah. It's still hot out. Yeah. Then you can walk right into a pool yes yep 100 like a fucking emperor nobody ever wakes up from a poolside lounge seat nap and is like oh god i gotta get ready for work fuck i'm going to do quick books you know yeah i never go to the

pool before work for that reason right oh i hate that's a good point i never like i used to have a job where i worked at 4 p.m like i was starting my shift and people would want to do honestly anything fun i'm like nope i can't do my shit before i go to work yeah i couldn't even listen to dope music i always had to listen to like radiohead or something before it's like it's yeah it's a bummer because then then you know everybody's at the lake and you're just oh and then you gotta leave early and you're like i'm gonna leave the lake at two yeah Just when it's getting good. You know, with a poolside lounge pick,

you get a lot of amenities with that pick that you don't get with a bunch of other picks. I didn't even think about that. That's a good little sneaky bonus right there. You say you get some manatees with that pick? Amenities? Depending on where you live, yeah. How many manatees? How many manatees? How many manatees? Two to four manatees.

Six manatees? Wish death upon me. many amenities how many minutes two to four two to four minutes six minutes many many many amenities it's a bad day for my amenities and my man and my anemones that word is such a bummer because it doesn't roll off the tongue any right kind of way. Anemone? I don't like that word. It certainly doesn't roll off the tongue like that. Anemone?

See anemone. See anemone. Anemone. Anemone. This is why scientists invented this word, just to fuck with regular people. He's exactly right. Anemone. Yeah.

Anemone. Anemone. I bet theyemone. Anemone. I bet they don't even call that animal that. I bet they've got like a normal word for it, but they're like, we'll tell all the normies it's anemone. They're like rock squid. The enemy of my enemy is my anemone.

Specificity is hard for me to say too. Specificity. That's not what we're drafting though. The specificity of the anemone? Oh, fuck. Eric the enemy? Yeah, graduated from college. Yeah, I was about to see you.

Damn. Coach Prime is going to shake things up. Yeah. I don't know if he is. What's the scouting report on Colorado University going forward? David's a big fan. I definitely saw that he said he's going to get a DJ booth in the locker room. They're going to be better than they were, but still bad?

Is that enough? Is that good? I'll take that. That's great. I'll take that. I'll take that for sure. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that.

David, tell me your first pick. Okay. I'm taking, and this is usually when I buy myself in there but man i gotta take the movies yeah that's a good pack that's gonna be my first pick the movie yeah especially if you're at like a alamo draft house or some shit way in the back yeah baby i love it's like a movie that you kind of knew like i knew how i knew how it was gonna go watching 80 for brady yeah i knew what was gonna happen you have a moment with yourself you have a moment with your lincoln's a good one i fell asleep fast at least that's good okay i could fall asleep right

now how much do i care about this movie uh-huh not enough to not fall asleep yeah yeah dude my mom straight up that's almost exclusively where she'll sleep'll just go to the movies and zonk out. Like, why did you even suggest what movie we go to? Why didn't you just let me do the whole thing? Because you want some semblance of control. But God, does it? It feels, it's just, it's dark. Those seats are so cozy.

It's so cool in there. It's the only time I could fall asleep with a lot of noise for some reason. Yeah. If the TV's on and I'm in my bed, I cannot fall asleep. But, I mean, normally. Dog, I fell asleep at John Wick. Dude, Shane fell asleep at Die Hard. That movie's non-stop action.

But, I mean, to be fair, John Wick, after a while, it's like, oh, what's he going to do? Shoot him in the head? I fucking know. It's kind of repetitive. And Die Hard is, like, comforting, I guess. You know what I mean? That you've seen it so many times. Yeah.

Mr. Dukagy Mr. Tukagy Mr. Tukagy Mr. Tukagy what'd you tell them Louis also you wake up you have a little popcorn like a big ass soda or something

it's great, man. I love falling asleep at the movies. It's fun when the switch flipped for movies for me now that I'm a grown up. I'll still sneak in some candy. Oh, you're not trying to get H-Chad? Yeah, I'm not trying to get tugged out anymore.

I want to go get a hot dog and take a nap. Did you say tugged out? Like he's a boat are you still trying to get tug jobs in the movie theater are the kids still getting tug jobs in the movie theater probably it's dark and there's not a lot of adults like yeah i think the kids got plenty of dark places these days unfortunately i think they're getting tugged in the movies and i think they're getting tugged in the parks and so things haven't really changed i think amc wishes that they were getting tugged off in the movies more right maybe they should

lead with that because i go to the movies a lot i don't see kids there like I used to. No, no, no. The man Chinese parking lot. It was going down. That's what they should be like. Regal cinemas. Hand stuff is cool. Yeah.

They need to sell the popcorn with the hole already cut. You know, guess what? You could really be getting a knock at the staff. Is that the one cabin cabin cabin? Oh, i didn't think of that through puss and boots more like dick in hand come see it but also that movie is really good have you have you seen the new puss and boots man no it's good it's like really really good yeah really the scary the villain the wolf is scary it's it's it's it's It's like... I took my nephews. It's amazing.

As we've discussed on here, I am a structural human being, so I will be very... Yeah. I'm very eager to check out this. You know the wild part is... I'm asexual as well. Nobody wanted another Puss in Boots,

as far as I know. And then they made one anyways, and it's killing it. It's even getting really good reviews. It's so good. It's like smart. Yeah yeah you gotta go see anyways that's not what we're talking about i the movies is my pick yeah i like it yeah so i'm looking at what's in the at the americana brand right now the 18 here's the movies that are out right now ant-man and the wasp quantumania

i could falsely something called of an age i don't know what that is look serious oh it's an lgbtq plus romance so you wouldn't fall asleep out of respect you better not no i fell asleep the first time i watched bros because it was late at night great movie though pretty funny i have thoughts about it i yeah the comedy was all good absolutely as funny as it needed to be it It didn't shatter any records. No movies are funny anymore either. I'll tell you, it's hard to... Right, exactly. And it's hard to

fucking be a romantic lead. It's hard to be funny. Well, he's not like very... He's so fucking funny. You're not ever like really rooting for this dude. You're like... But I was rooting for his dude you're like you're kind of when i was rooting

for his boyfriend i was too i was too he was really yes yeah yeah it's too funny you're like you're fine you're hilarious even in the movie when you're trying to a little he's like a little too neurotic you know what i mean you don't want to like i feel pardon me about this is good let's get can we have any more straight dudes break this down let's like all right yeah this is i know i know this is a rom-com line not a whatever this is true for there is a billy there is a billy crystal mendoza line that you can't cross in terms of like anxiety and and you know what i mean just being like that that sort of like high strung and like you can get to that line. But you can't cross that line.

And I feel like Billy Eichner crossed that line a little bit in terms of just like being just like a little too neurotic. I get that. But I still loved it. I still really enjoyed the movie. Yeah, I thought it was very funny. Because, yeah, no movies are big movies. It feels like a movie can either be big or it can be funny. You can't really get both anymore.

Can my nickname be Big Movies? No. Yeah, I'll call you Big Movies. Big Movies getting a tough job. Marlo, which looks like a mystery. I would just pick whatever has the longest run time. That's my nap movie. Oh, yeah.

Truthfully speaking. Titanic 25th Anniversary Re-Release. Correct, yeah. Truthfully speaking. Titanic 25th anniversary. Correct. Yes. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you kidding me? That's in the theater right now? People have been going like crazy.

It's going to take the highest grossing movie record back. Good. From Avatar. I love that movie. Titanic? Titanic. Go see it. I don't think it's that great even for...

I don't know, man. I feel like even when I saw it, because I was probably what? Nardo is a murderer in that movie. Billy Zane kills it. Fifth or sixth grade when that movie came out. I remember watching it and being like, this was what all the hype was about? Yeah.

Even for a romantic movie, I just don't think it's that great. That was when I encouraged Dana to go see with her boyfriend who she's cheating on me with. No, her... movie i just don't think it's that great that was when i encouraged dana to go see with uh her her boyfriend who she's cheating on me with no her uh her friend katie uh i just side piece out it's a long it's a long one yeah i just i never i don't like it i don't like that movie at all it's a long time and it's just like, I don't give a shit. Whenever I watch that,

every time I've seen it, I'm like, I don't give a fuck about Jack. I don't give a fuck about Rose. I can't get into it. I care. Now, Armageddon, that's a romantic movie. The Titanic of space. That's got all the pieces in working order.

I want that to nickname. So it's not big movies anymore. It's Space Titanic. That's got all the pieces in working order. Space Titanic. I want that. I want that to nickname. So it's not big movies anymore. It's Space Titanic. All right. I'll call you that. Happily. Oh, man. It's better than my first pick, huh? The movie. Yeah, let's get it. I'm taking, listen, it's not sexy.

It doesn't have to be. It's not a sexy pick, but I am taking the fucking a standby something that has been ripped away from me with marriage because there's always someone tapping me and saying go to bed oh yeah I know

historically one of my fucking favorite places to fall asleep the couch you think I don't respect this pic I learned living with you that you prefer if you're on if you're sleeping on the couch, that you prefer to not be directed to your room. A few times, I'd be like, are you trying to go to bed? And you're like, no. Let it happen.

I'm trying to sleep on this couch. I'm with you. I'm with you. Smoked so much weed that I would hit this level of comfort laying on that couch that was unattainable in any other area, any other surface. It's so good when like when you hit that like the eyelids fluttering and some just good enough movie is playing on tv or like or you're like totally you know you're three episodes into a seinfeld run or something like that and you're just like my God, it's about to happen.

I'm going to real estate industry doesn't want us to know how good couch sleep is, because then we wouldn't have bedrooms anymore. We just we wouldn't be checking for us. That's right. We would just sleep on giant couches. I'll be living in tiny houses with big couches. I mean, no stranger. Obviously, I lived on a couch for years. I had a hard time adjusting back to a bed

when I bought my first bed. That's a wild thing. It makes you feel like a scumbag. You're just like a prisoner adjusting to outside. Yeah, you're like institutionalized. You're like, it does not feel great. I don't know about all this bed sleep. Yeah. You're just sitting there like your arms are out here like you don't know about all this bed sleep yeah you're just sitting there

like your arms are out here like you don't know how to do it anymore i was just telling laura the other day if if i lived alone i would sleep on the couch every night i bet i i don't really like i think so here's the thing about living alone is that's like one of the first adult things you have to do is be able to be like we're calling you gotta know when to fold them yeah you just gotta know when to call it because it's like because another thing when i first started living alone yeah i would because you know how when you're like when you have roommates the couch the living room is yours but it's not like full you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah so it was like when i started living alone i got that big ass couch and i would just i'd sleep on that i'd be like all right you slept on the couch

four nights there's you can't do this i get scared when i'm alone two in a house or department or whatever so i'm sorry for laughing no you're fine it's funny uh but it's yeah i'm still it'll be forever and uh so i need to be able to see the door when i'm alone or else i have a real tough time sleeping so i'd either have a bed in the living room which would be pretty bucky or i sleep on the couch all the time you can't have a bed in the living room that's like that makes it seem like you're sick there's some type of charlie in the chocolate factory it's no big deal don't worry they won't let me watch Menace to Society on dialysis at the hospital, so I just do it here.

Oh, man. The sun's going away quick. Oh, my God. Did you guys see the sun go away just now when I started talking about dialysis? It's because you said Menace to Society on dialysis in a five-second span. Yeah. God has abandoned South Dakota, which is another play I'm working on. I think she left a while ago.

Oh. God's not here today. But couches are great. Yeah. Absolutely. You've got the sweet embrace on your back as well. You know what I mean? It feels like you're spooning with.

Yeah. And that's the thing you get comfortable about. When you get used to sleeping on couches. It's almost nice having that barrier so you can't really go far. No. You know what I mean? Like you just kind of like tuck into it like a burrito.

Well, furniture hug. Yeah. That's exactly. You're snudged up. It sounds so much less sad when you say it than when I say it. The furniture hug? So I don't want to be Space Titanic anymore. I want to be furniture hug. got it i'll call you that

there's gonna be a line from big movie to space titanic to furniture hug these are huge moves uh sean it's time i pardon me uh can i say one more thing about the bed? I love that. Fuck a couch bed. Oh, fuck that. No, I want a straight up couch. Don't ever pull it out for me. I hate that. No, I don't want a futon. I don't want a Murphy bed or whatever that thing is called.

Fuck you, man. I will sleep on this couch like it's intended. We have a couch bed and we paid a lot extra for it but I'm sorry Sean if we need an extra bed it can count but I'm with you you know it's a terrible place to sleep but it's a great way to make your

couch weigh 900 pounds dog you are you are not lying it is heavy very derisive when we have to it's like a day long project when we have to it's the word it's like a day-long project when we have to clean the rug dude it sucks see and it's like is it more comfortable than just sleeping on your couch no no no it makes the couch worse it's the biggest scam

it's a scam oh yeah it's a fucking scare oh that's how it's it's's the Irish by the way who are behind it they invented the day bed we invented couches you gotta have somewhere to sit after you get drunk and lose your job that's why it's called couch potato it was initially

a slur now we gotta stop the show nothing's gonna be funnier than that no that's it walk off alright oh it'd be funny if somebody really did mean it to be like Irish bastard

oh god damn it oh that's hilarious it's time for your first and second picks uh first pick the back seat of a moving automobile oh yeah yeah come on i get really self-conscious up front i won't sleep because i don't like the driver looking at somebody who they can clearly see as asleep but in the back no holds barred so i will i will go nuts in the back seat it's the best it feels like the quickest i could ever fall asleep ever is in the back seat of a car that's just perfect as a child especially i can't i don't i don't i guess i don't remember the last time i've been in the back seat in the car like that anymore the last time was like the the tour

probably when we were like driving for a minute. Yeah. But you drove the whole time. But David, you were on some logs, right? In the back? As soon as I hit the back. And it's not an Uber or something. Yeah.

Well, God, I have fallen asleep in an Uber and that's scary. That seems like it would be very scary. That's where I wake up and I'm like, oh God, it'd be terrifying to be a woman every second of the day. Because I wake up and I'm like, I'm still a pretty tall guy.

So I'm probably going to be okay. How tall? I got five on it. All right, outside. Let's play who's taller. Yeah. You should play who's taller at some live shows. Yeah.

We'll just pick people. Let's just pick people like oh my god that'd be so funny and then we just have 20 bucks and we'll be like just name off some ticket seats or whatever and just be like everybody come up here and play who's taller yes there's a lot of day anyway i digress yeah backseat of a moving car i just oh yeah um bet it's the best if it's like a sedan uh i'm in you know small car i can i'm close to the road i like it i once got in a wreck while two people were sleeping in the back and that sounds like the the uh i was driving hydroplanned long story i was in college it was fine it was just like a

you know like a uh bumper what's it called? Bender Bender. Bumper Buster? Bumper Buster. Got a little Bumper Buster on the freeway. So these two people woke up and then were immediately in a car wreck, which, you know, that is the scant downside

of it. I would have turned to him and been like, what did you do? What did you guys do? I jump in the backseat with him. Oh, no, guys. Brianna, you were driving. What happened? We were coming back from a Taekwondo tournament in Fargo, North Dakota that I got first place in sparring. No big deal.

Taekwondo. I was asleep in the back, and my mom smoked a deer. I woke up to that. The deer was like halfway in the car. There was glass everywhere. In the car? Jesus. Yeah, it caved in the windshield and like stayed on the whip.

So it was like stuck in there. Oh, God. You called upon your training and went ahead and like key-eyed that fucking deer out. Yeah, we just cut him up into jerky with my first place trophy. Or it might have been a doe. Who knows? Oh, nice uh and then second pick yeah i'm going uh recliner after a holiday meal oh that's a good one yeah if you can

if you can do it while thanksgiving football is on oh like you have you have really threaded the needle that's big money that's big money you just got gravy blood yeah and like we how do i say like i get along with everyone at the holiday functions or whatever but i'm not like invested really so i really don't even see my family all that much anymore so it's just easy just to cash out and be like, whatever. I'll go. There used to be a separate room at my grandma's house. They would have like, it was only like one chair and a TV.

So it was kind of like a nap room. And you didn't even have to worry about people trying to talk to you because the couches were in the other room. Wait, what was that room for usually? Grandpa? I think just my grandpa to chill and watch TV. Yeah. I mean, it's like geriatric tug jobs, I think, is probably what we'll do. Okay.

Were you saying you want me to call you geriatric tug jobs? I want another dude. All right, cool. Yeah, I'll call you that. Geriatric tug jobs. For sure. Actually, that's going to be the group. We all three got to be this.

I like that this is turning into like a Wu-Tang Clan, like AKA, AKA, AKA, AKA, big movie, AKA Space Titanic. Oh, I.k.a. Jerry Garrett. A.k.a. Big Movie. A.k.a. Space Titanic. Oh, I wish I was writing all these down. Hold on. It's like Ghostface. These are too many nicknames. Yeah. Geriatric tug job.

Yeah, man, just chilling, mouth open, you know, whatever. And I can't really sleep on my back so these are like the two kind of cases where i can kind of be considered sleeping on my back you can't sleep on your back no i gotta sleep on my tummy or my side unless i'm tore up then i could then whatever are you afraid a bird will land and lay eggs in your mouth if i sleep on my back sometimes i think about that why is the bird there when i'm on my tummy though i feel like a bird's gonna lay eggs in my butt and that's scarier

because i can't look in a mirror and see the butt eggs but i could look in a mirror and see them in my mouth so how you would feel but eggs for sure you would have to go to a mirror to know there were eggs in your butt that's not what we're talking about david we're not drafting we're not drafting practical situations here we're drafting places you would sleep that aren't your bed. Parts of your body you'd like to have eggs implanted. Yeah. Definitely not my butt, bro. The bird isn't laying them into your anus.

Where are they laying them? On the butt? Atop your butt. I guess like nestled in your cheeks, probably. That's not crazy at all, either. That might feel kind of good. No, I don't know. I have a weird

question can you eat eggs that aren't chickens like say what can you eat eggs that aren't chickens yes oh yes for sure i watch you have a quail egg i swear to god yeah i've seen you have a quail egg before but i mean can you just like like if i just had like like if you found one i wouldn't do that yeah like can you can you just eat them out of a chicken if i just had like like if you found one i wouldn't do that yeah like can you can you just eat them out of a chicken if you just find them either you gotta cook it no but i mean can you just go to like a robin's nest and grab some eggs and you could i mean sure fry those wolves and cheetahs and shit dude don't turn animals eat turtle eggs right eat the things that wolves and cheetahs eat that's why you're not frolic bro you gotta start eating the things that wolves and cheetahs eat. That's why you're not frolic, bro. You gotta start

eating the things that wolves and cheetahs eat. You could just go and grab them out of a nest and eat them, but you don't know how long they've been there. You don't know how long. There's a risk. But I think you'd be okay. Is this a thing you're thinking about? Are you looking for permission? I don't feel comfortable answering that.

So... mission i don't feel comfortable answering that so yeah next recliner recliner after uh after a meal okay after a big meal i see turtle eggs there's nothing sean likes more they're right there on the beach i put on i put on a youtube video yeah i walked one to the ocean turtles almost getting to the beach and i fall asleep to that yeah after i eat a bunch of eggs uh recliner after a holiday meal fantastic i'm going to take uh all right listen i i'm i'm keeping it not sexy i'm staying hey man you got everyone's gotta have a kicker you don't need to feel bad about this practice i know but i just have a kicker. You don't need to feel bad about this. I know, but I just drafted a kicker. I'm drafting another kicker.

Everyone needs a backup kicker. Floor. Yeah, I was going to pick the floor a little bit later. Oh, yeah. This is on my board. Yeah, I love it, man. Oh, yeah. I couldn't get used to it, but I like it.

In a hotel for a night, I don't mind the floor. Give me that Larry Bird in the fourth quarter, dude. I'm laying on the floor. I feel like the floor to me, to me too, the floor is like similar to the recliner. Very good on a holiday. Yeah. Yeah. Like we're all laying there.

Like I'm thinking like my little brothers are playing with their presents they got that day. I'm like watching them set up a remote control car. a christmas story's on and i'm just out you got like a couch cushion or like a like a throat pillow yeah like the one thing yeah it's so universal though like not everywhere it could be a recliner anything can be a floor anything you've always got a floor you can sleep on like it's not anything can be a floor like a shark or a ceiling you're always gonna have a floor some right there you're like if you're falling out of a plane see now all of a sudden like your story's full of holes dude god damn it you're in the water you're falling out of a plane you're just on your way to the floor yeah but you're not there yet this is true

and i'm fucking ugly this sucks man yeah dude you smell bad you can't don't Ian text me and tells me I'm ugly way more than you think he does a lot of the time yeah huh a lot of the time he likes Chapman's tweets too much you have a lot of problems the other day he goes how about that Mac McClung he's not nearly as ugly as you he like sneaks it in yeah he is a goof troop though yeah he is that guy I was trying to explain to Laura I was like that's crazy that he won and she goes because he's white and i go no because he's like not in the nba but he's like super white like he like his hair he doesn't look like he's got the prince harry you can tell it's going south balding the man will be bald he's also not in the nba not with yeah barely all right that dude rips he just doesn't look like he can jump a foot.

I just don't want to let all these, because there's a ton of guys on the internet who could, this is my old timey basketball. There's just, there's a ton of guys who are incredible at dunking. That's not what, we want the best basketball players who are good at dunking. That's some other shit to me.

For sure. It is to not be well-rounded, to be like, yeah. Now you want me to be be well-rounded to be like yeah like now you want me to be a world-class three spot and do a 540 what the fuck are we asking of these men our friend nick nampe said in the in this in this basketball group chat like it was more gymnastic than anything else and it's true but like that's not a fair rubric for fucking no yeah like they're basketball players any of those other guys in the contest whose names i can't remember our friend nick dampay also one time famously when him and i were arguing over who got to sleep on the floor in las vegas

he said i'm from micronesia we're a floor people that's a quote that's not sean saying that yeah no no that is i'm simply i'm simply the vessel i'm thinking it i'm simply the vessel telling you about the floor people at that point the sleeping on the floor was coveted yeah yeah i think that was just we knew that was going to be the easiest for yeah i don't mind sleeping on the floor if i've been drinking you know what i mean if the like i i love it i love a floor it's not really that uncomfortable. No, no,

no. You like trick yourself into thinking you need all this bed shit. Yeah. For the first, when I lived in LA for a year, I slept on the floor with like an egg crate. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like I didn't have a bed. My friend, Kristen, she used to sleep on like a bamboo mat on the floor she said it would keep her from spending too much time in bed that checks out to me it's true when you wake up from a floor nap you're just like it's yeah i don't i don't want to nestle back into the floor after i wake up i'm not gonna linger on the floor yeah it's time to get up all right i've woken let me stand feels good on the back too i

have a tough time waking up like starting it oh yeah i gotta like set my alarm way early to wake up at a reasonable time see now if you had a bath to look forward to right when you woke up it'd be a little easier to peel your ass off the floor i'm gonna lie right back down don't worry yeah our hand servant who drew it and then i don't want to be late for archery class as it is 14 38 so it's time for you to hit bullseye on your next pick there he is okay so good so here's one this one this is also i'll go with ian not sexy, but like, man, when it's... Have you ever gone camping and it was like really cold all day?

And then at night you get into like your sleeping bag and it's like the first... That's like the best sleep ever. When it goes right. Oh yeah, when it goes right, a sleeping bag... Like you got your shoes off for the first time of the day maybe and you're just in your socks and it's like, you're like, thank God this thing goes right, a sleeping bag. Like, you got your shoes off for the first time of the day, maybe,

and you're just in your socks, and it's like, you're like, thank God this thing is warm as a bitch. Yes. Yeah, a sleeping bag. You scream that? Yeah. A sleeping bag, when it goes right, is, like, pretty. Hard to beat.

Pretty clutch. I like this clip, too, because this is that moment. Everybody has one moment when they sleep in a sleeping bag where you're like i can make it out here if this goes i can i am i have what it takes yeah this ain't that hard i don't need the comforts of the modern world yeah yeah and then you get too hot and then it's like you're in that weird terrible well then you got to take a piss or something you're like bone freezing outside and you're stepping on you just like completely jet black so it can go wrong but if it goes right if it's a perfect storm it's fantastic yeah yeah then you feel like you did it's the only time when i wake

up where i feel like i did something already when i woke up and I'm like, you camped. Oh, yeah. I was like, you did it. You camped. That's the thing about camping is it's like, when you do it right, it's ultimately kind of just like a lot of work. You just prove that you can do it. You're like, yeah. You know what I mean?

It's like, you're setting up camp and cooking is a lot of work. Everything. Setting the boat up and dishes. Yeah, it's like, it's like, kind of just like a lot of work. You got to hide that body i swear to god someone got murdered when we were hiking around mount hood i've never heard

that a scream like that in my whole life it oh you were talking about that yeah it terrified me i i don't know sounds like a skunk ape to me uh it was geriatric tug job now i'd like it to be skunk ape all right it's gonna get aka skunk ape i'll call you skunk ape for sure dude also we're already like getting down the list i feel like there's not a ton of places i don't have a lot i have one that will be interesting to uh to the judges we'll be the judge of that that's what i'm saying i know you're gonna be the judge of it it's probably not gonna go but i'm gonna try uh ryan time for your second and your third picks as it is a serpentine draft um

all right i'm gonna go with the floor of the outside nice grass sleeping oh yeah nice grass yeah yeah man like in the park yes yes under the shade of a giant fucking tree hopefully it's about 85 out yep do you ever have it in denver this is big like right when it gets warm people start coming back to the parks and you'll just see a gang just like it's always like a solo dude he's got like a blanket or something and he's reading Infinite Jest and he's just been

asleep for hours. Shoes off he's been practicing slacklining yeah yeah I bet Portland gets a lot of the same guys. Oh yeah it's the same guy oh yeah that dude it's the same dude he goes back and forth just because he hits at different times he migrates so he never has to wear a shirt yeah not that i don't sleep fall asleep in the park too but yeah are we on a are we on a blanket or we are right on the grass if the grass is good enough i'll

just sleep on the grass amen if it's like that real nice, like, where did they get this grass? Like that, that's what I'm talking about. I need a soft grass though. Sometimes it's a little too pokey. No, I don't want to be prickled. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no.

God, I love hanging out in the park all day. Yeah. I can't wait till it gets warmer. Oh yeah, barbecue? Oh man, you got a football. Frisbee? Yeah, Wash Park You got a football. Frisbee? Yeah. Washpark's got a little fishing pond, but you can do it.

Is Washpark where they do the High Plains barbecues? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The park rules. Frisbee is fun, man. I didn't give Frisbee enough credit growing up. Really? Frisbee is fun. Frisbee is fun.

It's such an accomplishment to hit the target with a Frisbee. It's because there was no future in it when you were a kid. You know what mean like you're not like i'm going pro at frisbee but there is a part of you that thinks like maybe if i throw this football right yeah that's fair you know i mean you wouldn't want to be a pro ultimate frisbee game no no no our dude uh i think rob our buddy rob was a sponsored frisbee golfer it was crazy He just came up in Sioux Falls and he was like, he made money Frisbee golfing for a while. Which IPA company sponsored him? Yeah. Some sort of hazy.

That sounds like such a front. A picture of a sun wearing sunglasses on it. Teva sells beer now. It's pretty cool. Yeah. One of those beers that looks like a juice on the outside. Sure. You know how I know Frisbee golf is faulty?

You guys ever go to Humboldt County? Yeah. I never have. Up there in Arcata, there's like, you can tell people are watching money because it's like, why are there four Frisbee golf stores on this town square? Yeah. Like, you know, like, it can't

be that big. Watching money. I thought you said watching money. I get it. You just, I get it. Although I have a buddy, I have a buddy who got really into it. It's like he frisbee golfs people golf. He travels for it. He does tournaments and shit. He has a great time. I bet it's great. I'm not going to do

it, but I'm happy for the people who like it. I'll play frisbee golf. I play almost every time I go to Denver if Adam and Rudin and I can catch some time. We always go out. You ever call it froth? Yeah, I'll call it froth when I'm messing around, when I'm feeling silly. I think the pros like to call it disc golf. Yeah. I call it dicks

golf, dude, when I'm really feeling silly. That's immature. That's really immature. That's just really awful. If you just switch the C and the S, it's dicks. That's an awful thing to say. You're nasty. That's a nasty thing to say. That's a nasty thing to say in front of a guest.

Ryan, I'm sorry. It's time for your third pick, man. All right. I have two outside sleeping areas, so I'm going to pick something inside. You're bringing it in the house. I like sleeping on a plane. Oh, yeah. All right. Not because I think it's the best sleep you'll ever get,

but because it's the only form of time travel accessible to me where it's like i've i i'm the kind of person who can fall asleep like before we even take off and then i wake up and i'm like oh shit we're 10 000 feet this is awesome yeah but i've manifested with my sleep powers god i would love to sleep but i'm terrified to fly so i can't really sleep i get tossed or i take i can't stand to fly this is a high ceiling low floor sleeping situation yeah yeah yes it is yes it can if the plane's too hot it's a miserable sleep if the plane is too noisy it's a miserable sleep dude you get a roadie yourself forget about it yeah if there's a kid yep if there's a i didn't if that didn't used to bother me for years kids on planes yeah and now the last few years i'm just like oh god shut it shut it down boy i'll tell you brother it isn't that easy to shut it down

as somebody i can't imagine it seems like it sucks. It's... I'll tell you this. For anyone who doesn't like a kid crying, the parents don't like it the most. I was... No, I can tell, too. I felt so bad. Max was screaming for two hours on our way to Michigan, and I felt terrible. Laura went and almost cried in the back. And a few different mothers came up, and they're like, are you okay?

And they offered assistance. It's... It was a nightmare, dude. And I do feel for people and i do feel for people i do feel for people like sometimes you'll see people come on with like four kids and you're like this has to the dad's carrying all the apparatuses and the mom's got juggling and the one's walking and she's like cameron come back here it does seem terrible yeah i and lauren i talked about this because we rolled the dice with max we traveled and i was like i i just don't want to

do that anymore so it is the one place where you should be i have i have a six-year-old and a one-year-old it is the one place where you should be allowed to give a child a small amount of animal sedative you should yes or just give it some rum that's what they used to do in the old days i'm fine i have a two-year-old so i'm when we traveled with her when she was one and so it's like yeah dude it was it was so much harder than i thought it would be and i like airports i love being everything about flying except flying but like the whole airport the whole thing have you ever noticed at an airport everybody's having a good time except for people with kids yeah yes absolutely they are the parents never seem stoked they never see parents always see bummed out i'm watching tennis having double jamesons i was

thrilled on my flight here yeah you see people walking by with their kids you're like are you guys on your way to fly to a divorce is that what yeah you could just you could just tell it's a long fucking day are you selling them are you bringing them to their new home this is a not having kids ass thing to say but like i do think i should be entitled to a percentage of that child's future earnings if they cry enough on a plane yeah it because sometimes it's just like because especially if you don't have kids then you're not in situations with kids crying ever so it's like it's like exactly like i remember when my little brothers were little i would just you'd be around kids all the time so you got used to crying but if you're not used to crying yeah that shit is well like imagine if you could bring a parakeet on a plane with you

and everybody was just like i'm not a parakeet but too bad i gotta deal with this fucking parakeet just walking at me for three hours nobody would say that's cool i don't like animals on planes either particularly get it out of here i just it's like a bummer i'm allergic to dogs too though i've i've gone over this god did i i did i tell you guys i felt so bad i think i did that somebody was standing in the aisle having a conversation for so long. And I kept looking at him. And the guy goes, can I help you? And I go, you're bothering me.

I said it like I was such a baby. And he goes, okay, well, next time, don't just stare at me and try to say something. And then I go, I'm so sorry, man. And then I felt bad. I almost started crying. What was he doing to bother you? This woman was in the aisle having a conversation with i think her boss and i think she was kind of throwing it at him a little bit it was a whole scene i built

in my head and then i kept looking at him because she kept bumping me and i was like there's a social contract here go sit down you don't get to stand in the aisle it's not a bar and i was looking at him like you know like that for probably 15 minutes and he goes is everything is something on your mind i go you guys bothering me. So she looked down and she goes, I'll just go back to my seat. And then he goes, next time, if you have a problem, just mention it and we'll, we'll figure it out. And I go, I'm so sorry, man. And then I looked down and I was like, I'm sorry. And like 20 minutes later I tapped him. I go, I'm sorry. I'm not like that. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I hated it. Yeah. What? The point is is put the kids in the car

put them in the car road trip no i get it i know i know that it has to happen like animals i always get that feeling of like did you have to have this on here but like kids yeah i get it i know i'm wrong and not liking it you're not not wrong. No, no. Nobody likes it. I just think they should have to come visit me at the old folks home. They're your kids, so they're going to take care of you. I don't have kids. You know what I mean? Come see me later.

Yeah, that's true. You cried for fucking all six hours of this cross-country flight? When I'm 78, you have to come see me. Maxine's going to come visit. And keep me company. She will. I'm not talking about maxine i'm talking about strangers kids on planes when they're like in their 40s they're gonna have to

come like sit and watch like an old episode of like succession with me that would be funny if some like some 30 year old just went into someone's room at the nursing home who didn't have any family and they're like what are you doing they go i they used to cry on the planes all the crowd a lot yeah so i'm just here. You want to watch? Yeah. You want to watch MacGyver or what do you like? You want to play cribbage? David, time for your third pick.

All right. And now tell me if this is too close to the first pick of the draft. I'm saying in a pool on a float. No, I think that counts. Yeah. That's completely different. That's totally different. And there's like an element of danger that I like. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. This is a sexy pic. This is a sexy pic right here. I've never fallen off, but it's happened. I've fallen, dude, because I'm very buoyant. I've kind of fallen asleep just floating on my back. I have too. Yeah.

Yeah. Just floating. Can I tell you, I've been thinking about buoyancy a lot lately. You mean it's Beyonce? Oh, yeah. I don't know. That's what I've been thinking about. You know what I'm saying, right?

Yeah. that's what i've been thinking about i'm writing a book about being about being uh heavier and i've been thinking about buoyancy a lot when i was bigger it never occurred to me that that's why i floated so well i just it doesn't make sense it seems like you shouldn't well it's just you don't i was just like this is just how i am you don't think you don't think about how you are like fast kids aren't like i wonder why i'm fast you know yeah i don't think they are i'm a creature of the water i i used to take a bath every single day before high school so that's not swimming being fat in in water is much better much much much much much much much much much much much much much better i believe not not fucking sink to the bottom of the fucking pool and you used to go fight the waves in the ocean man i love whenever we get to the ocean ian would just run and like

just start with the way you don't like the ocean anymore no i still love the ocean okay okay billy ocean yeah the we call him the ocean so you ever let the hand fall into the water while you're on the pool floating yeah oh yeah oh yeah it's just like that it's again that perfect that perfect mixture of wet but like the sun is drying out parts of you it just feels so good and it's like water's so relaxing yeah you have picked the one the one i think so far that if i saw somebody fall while sleeping i would laugh all the other ones i'd be like oh no that person might be hurt but if you fell off a pool float it's pretty funny while you were asleep i would laugh yeah because it's not so you're gonna wake up

you're not gonna you're not the backseat of the moving car is pretty funny. He fell out of the car into a ravine. One of those, like, probably Chris Pratt's Jeep or something with no doors on the back, and I just fall asleep. He takes a hard corner. Yeah. Totally use your shoulder belt, idiot. Time for my third pick. I gonna keep it aquatic i'm taking the beach uh-huh oh yeah oh yeah oh man oh man maybe on a blanket on the sand

maybe not do you have do you ever have it like where you like maybe you ate like a picnic at the beach yeah oh yeah the sand's all warm you've been swimming so you're a little tired you're a little sun-kissed yeah uh-huh maybe you're even mummied up in a towel oh yeah yeah and then you fall it also kind of like it like memory foams a little bit like you could work it so like the sand is like cupping you every way you need to be cupped yeah oh yeah oh yeah it's fantastic tuscan i had a few beach naps when he was showing me around oh yeah i bet you did how was the hawaii trip it was i think we've talked about it yeah it was fucking amazing it was he's from a truly

magical place zach looks like a walking talking nap on the beach you know what i mean he just he is a nap on the beach he's comfortable that's a good thing this is a compliment i'm just saying he's like so calming i don't want to even think i'm talking shit just like he's just mellow like a nap on the beach and he's soft-spoken i don't know ryan this is our friend zach uh who is from hawaii yeah i am bm yeah it's it's it's pretty because like you don't really get it like he tells you about it and you don't really get it and then you go see it and you're like and he's like running into people he grew up with and i'm like oh it it's like even weirder than being from a small town yeah

because it's not like south dakota it's not as good as being from south dakota obviously that's the best place to be from where the haw the Hawaii of South Dakota. South Dakota is. I don't know. I don't think it is. I mean, if I could show you outside the window right now, there's... You're like, North Dakota is the Hawaii of South Dakota. There's a few more feet of snow outside than there is in Hawaii right now. But other than that...

Oh, beats. It's cold in Denver right now, and I'm pissed. There's like five feet of snow outside right now. Like, if you go down the right sidewalk, it's bonkers. Or is it six feet? Let's stand up and find out. Who's taller? I'm going to go play with the snow.

The beach. I just love it. It's peaceful. The waves rolling in. You know what I mean? The sound of it is so good. Like it sounds so good, right? It sounds so good. It sounds so good.

The soundscape, the sense scape smells good. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like suntan lotion and salt. Yeah. It's a,

it's a candle. I'll always buy. It rules. It is true. I'll always, I'll always buy a beach candle. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35.

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It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dose to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days. And you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to destigmatize and educate on the science and real-world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone.

Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box. And it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code all fantasy at schedule 35.co. That's 15% off at schedule 35.co and use promo code all fantasy. Uh, skunkunk ape it's time for your next pick yeah bro so i'm gonna take this back uh this is a specific pick it doesn't i don't really

no i just made the pacific pick i'm afraid the pacific pick yeah uh study hall you motherfucking okay okay i used to fall asleep with my head in my hands and study hall and it was some of the best sleep i ever got all through high school i would go out like a rock i would wake up with like print on my face from like sleeping on the book or magazine i was gonna say this is on the book right for sleeping on the magazine i didn't mean the lions i was reading books i'm not a loser i was looking at magazines uh but i would i don't know it's when i was a senior and i think the more people i tell this to it sounds like they just knew i wasn't going to do anything with education but when i was a senior my guidance counselor told me to take like four study halls and everyone else i talked to they're like what they did but so i had like four study halls and everyone else I talked to, they're like, what they did. But so I had like four study halls and they straight up just let

me sleep. Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's probably just like, uh, you know, like if you're not gonna go to college, you know what I mean? I think they thought you were going to find your own way and look at you. You did. Yeah. I think you were better left to your own devices. The system couldn't, could not support your talent. Oh, thanks bro. What a motivating thing to have an adult be like, if you could just sleep so we didn't have to deal with you. I'd rather you just close your eyes.

Try to teach you anything. Or you can leave you, you know, you can get out of here. It's fine. You don't need to be in this room. I remember I had this whole scheme. We would sign each other in for detention sometimes or study hall, whatever.

They finally got wise to it. So much to the point, was it study hall or detention? I think what would happen is I would skip school, they'd give me detention, and I figured out a way to sign myself in and then not have to go to detention. Then they would start planting teachers at exits and stuff waiting for me to bust me ditching detention after a while i forgot about that oh what a what a nasty what a nasty boy now knowing adults i can see that being the case

where they set up like a sting operation on you how pissed would you be if some kid was getting the drop on you every day for detention i i mean i'd be furious i'd be like he's going to fucking detention i don't care what i have to do he. I'd be like, he's going to fucking detention. I don't care what I have to do. He's going to sit there. He's going to be punished. Now, my fourth pick will be slightly controversial. This is the one that I will need the judges.

Might not work. I had bunk beds. One of my favorite places to sleep was the top bunk. It's different than the bed. That's a bed. It's different. It's different. It's in the, it's in the sky. It's in the sky.

It's literally a bed. It's a tall bed. It's a tall bed. You're a lofted bed. Ryan took a plane. That's in the sky. It's the tallest bed. I guess the space station is the tallest bed

I was wondering how about this you knew a water bed no that's a bed the bed is in both of these words I just didn't think

I don't think you thought you could get both of those I don't think you should be allowed to podcast from South Dakota anymore. I'm having a really good time, though. I'm having a great time, too, but you're coming out too wild. Ben, in both of those words, they're both beds. They're literal beds. They're beds. You would buy them in a bed store.

The waterbed one caught me so far off guard that I said yes because I was like he couldn't possibly be in there. It must be something I'm not familiar with. A giant beanbag chair. So one of those like six foot diameter beanbag chairs. Do you know why I think this one works?

Because it doesn't have the word bed in it. That's a good point. It's not called a bean bed. Okay, what about a double bed? What about like a California king bed, though? It's pronounced California king. What if it's a celipastropedic? Can I make that?

We went in, and we were going to get our sleep numbers checked. We were looking for beds, and the dude. It's so important at this age. She likes a hard bed and so the guy he goes tell me when it feels um like like i hit your right sleep number and he went all the way to zero i think and he laura hadn't said anything so it did it was impossible for the bed to get as hard as she wanted it to get and so he goes well laura your number is zero so sean let's focus on you and you can see him being like i'm still going to try to sell this bed yeah these two people based on this one guy's decision yeah wait so he couldn't get he couldn't get as firm as she wanted it so well i bet i think he's used to that damn it i

knew it as i was saying it i was like oh your sleep number by comparison like 38 okay something could work with. A little more malleable than zero. Did she grow up with a hard bed or something? I don't know. She has back problems. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. God.

I can smell the top half. I didn't love that at all. No, I didn't either. I apologize. I love it. A beanbag of like as long as it's not leather i don't want to fall asleep on anything leather i hate never ever me too i hate leather interior and cars i hate leather fucking couches what are you doing you nut jobs my dad had a leather couch after the divorce which come on of course he did and uh yeah i mean first of all i even saved some pussy for the

rest of us i used up the sleep on that thing and it fucking sucked it's terrible i was at my huskiest i would just and like i always wore shorts everywhere and then i would fall asleep on a leather couch that's a sticky experience in a condo it was in a

condo like a too short blanket and a throw pillow and he's like it's a sticky experience. In a condo? It was in a condo? Like a too short blanket and a throw pillow and he's like, it's a bedroom, right? Yeah. Trying to jack off to that fucking HBO sex, real sex. Yeah, or Wild Things. That was probably around the time Wild Things was a popular movie. I wish. But yeah, beanbag chair, not leather.

Perfect. Am I going to sneeze? Maybe on a bunk bed. Maybe on top of a bunk bed definitely not well it could be pardon me stop sneezing dork i can't well sneeze buscemi over here oh i i don't know if that's close enough sneeze buseze Buscemi? Sneeze Buscemi? I think it works. What about

Ebba Sneezer Scrooge? That works, dude. That was good. Sneezus Christ? Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sneezus Christ? That's close, right? Yeah. Ebba Sneezer's dank. Good job. Thank you. Sneezus Christ was good, too. You're smart and funny. I did like that. I did like that. Not handsome, though.

No. No, I'm an ugly prick. You're smart and funny. I did like that. Not handsome, though. No. I'm an ugly prick. You look like a fucking toad. Yeah, it's known. It's known. Fucking old toad ass. I'm going to take on a train.

On a train, perfect. On a train. Listen, we're diminishing, you know, like we're getting to the drag scene. Yeah, right, right. I tried to pick two beds. Yo, that's insane. I know it steps on car a little bit. It steps on plane a little bit.

It's a method of transportation. But there's something, again, the sound, the ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk. Like that's really soothing. The kind of swaying of it. The swaying, the sound, the ch-chunk, ch-chunk, ch-chunk. That's really soothing. The kind of swaying of it. The swaying, the movement. You have a little more room on a train. It's just very, there's something very hypnotizing about it. Not like the subway, though.

You're talking like an Amtrak. Well, I'm taking the train train, which means subway is still available, and I have fallen asleep on one of those, too. Really? I've never fallen asleep on a subway. I wasn't thrilled about your tone right there, okay're talking to me because i've never been on a train train the problem with falling asleep on the subway is you're gonna fall asleep on somebody which is a terrible feeling yeah and you're gonna wake up and be like well my stop was five stops

ago yeah this sucks yeah which is why i'm not taking it. I'm taking the Chattanooga Choo Choo. Woman on the plane fell asleep on my shoulder last night and it really upsets me. It really upsets me when that happens. Because I don't say anything because I don't want to be rude so I just sit there and fester until I feel like that. Well she felt like reading a voter pamphlet and that's what really set you off

right? Yeah. It's Christy Noem. It's spelled with k vote for her she hates everyone why would we not want her to run dare i say the greatest state in our fair union ryan after episode 300 we decided to take a hard right turn and we're sticking to it you know what that's where the money is i get it yeah are you coming for it we're coming for it joe rogan can't live forever no well he might be able to he can tell you some stuff there's some medic you know who can't live forever is sleepy joe my

god it's like watching a zombie it's like the cryptkeeper lower the gas prices i bet you the cryptkeeper could lower the gas prices bro lower joe you tell me how jet fuel melts steel beams i've never seen it happen i'm out here you know loose change steel beams i've never seen it happen i'm out here you know loose change uh the train is what uh david okay i am going oh school bus oh yeah yeah yeah like i i was gonna maybe pick the city bus but it's kind kind of scary. I learned how to sleep sitting up on a school bus. I think more of when I think about it, I think of trips to football camp and shit.

Yeah, dude. Those long distance. Yeah, especially coming home and you're all tired and you and your friends had a contest to see who could eat the most Arby's. You know when you would stop you know what you'd stop at like a taco bell or some shit yeah but then you're like oh that's school bus

sleep ryan ian and david were uh football juggernauts in their respective high schools i was not so i kind of quiet down when football comes up were you uh were you a football guy oh no i played tennis i'm useless here you still had the bus, though. You guys had tournaments, right? Tennis team's not big enough for a fucking bus. They're like, who has a car? Oh, God. I never thought about that. Yeah. You don't get the bus. Absolutely not.

But the band shows up, right? Yeah, the cheerleaders are there, the whole thing. Everybody wants to have sex with you, though. All the time. Constantly. Oh, that's where they were, because it didn't happen during football yeah not like it was on the movies not for us it happened to riggins it happened to riggins all the time what are you talking about riggins you weren't the most perfect looking 30 year old high school kid it was billy bob even he got laid i feel like this game my cat coach said i can play this game with cat

okay he could get tugged off right billy but you yeah probably got tugged off yeah everyone else saw their teacher visit my gofundme to get billy bob tugged off you know i used to think that movie that movie used to honestly like inspire me and i watch it now and it's it's so as a screenwriter you know what like play football be in high school i was just stoked i was like yeah that mtv absolutely gets it and you watch it again you're like scott they're talking about like straight up rape in there he's like you give a girl a percocet that's right dude it's crazy that movie was a little too old for like when i was in high school was friday night lights is what had come out right and it lights is still a perfect that movie is amazing that came out during like i want to say like my junior year right on time yeah it was

right the program came out pretty on time for me and that holds up in a different way though no it doesn't varsity blues sucks the program is like poorly made program is really a bad movie every movie is good the animal is not good. Whenever someone is like, what don't you like? I go, the animal. That's the movie I don't like. Ryan, I'm sorry if you were in the animal. I wrote it, so it's fine.

That's all right. It's time to be an animal on your next two picks. Not one of my best transitions, but your fourth pick and then your final pick, which is a lightning round pick. Okay. i am a little surprised it's made it this long i'm gonna take hammock oh shit yeah i didn't even didn't even make my list what i have one in my backyard that's perfect i can't get into it i yeah so i don't i there's a reason i didn't take it super high like i don't think hammocks are as... Hammocks are, to me, what ice skating is, where it's like, this looks like it's going to be really fun and relaxing.

Then I go do it, and I'm like, I fucking suck at ice skating. Yeah. That's how I feel about hammocks. But I recognize that that's probably a me problem and not a hammock problem. Oh, so you're saying for the world, I get what you're saying. Hammocks could not have proliferated as long as they have if they sucked they gotta have something going yeah exactly yeah you see in a movie where

there's like two people romantically in a hammock and you're like oh how the fuck many people did it take to get you two into that hammock to have this romantic situation it's just not the core strength alone i mean mean, my God. Yeah, Hammock, I didn't, did you two have that on your list? I didn't even think about it. No. I had considered it,

but I decided to leave it off when I thought all five of my picks would somehow make it this far. But it did get added to my secondary list. I saw pretty quickly my shit was getting eaten up. I've had to like really, more than any other draft, really think on the fly here because like everything. I Googled places to sleep not in bed. I don't do it.

It's like six romantic things to do with your partner. I'm like, I'm not talking about that. Or the trick soldiers use to fall asleep in minutes. Your algorithm is going to be weird, dude. It already was, brother was just google raiders fan butterfly knife and it'll it'll correct itself then your algorithm will be right back to fights hammock x i mean listen we're running out of place to pick and your final pick um all right this is a specific dirtbag pick in the back row of a lecture hall in college.

Love it. Dangerous place to fall asleep. Great place to fall asleep. Now, are we? Let me. Study hall was taken. Sure. But here's the distinction I'll offer.

Go on. Study hall. Study hall. Sean was specifically told you can sleep here. Yeah. The back row of a lecture hall, you're not supposed to be asleep, and that's what makes it fun. And I was sitting in a chair. It's a desk

versus a stadium seating situation. Okay, great. I just wanted to interrogate it for the listeners. Yeah, I hear you. In my hands, you're laying back, I assume. Yes, yes. You're sort of, you're presenting yourself to the heavens, like, why did I spend all this money to go here?

Like a bird can lay an egg in your mouth. Holy shit. 320 episodes. It finally happened. It's a real fucking threat. That people don't talk about enough. That Joe Biden doesn't want you to know. No, he doesn't.

It's hard for him to worry when he's asleep. Wake the dude up. Someone just go shake the guy and wake him up. He's been for him to worry when he's asleep. You don't wake the dude up. Someone just go shake the guy. He's been dead since 1993. Tupac's president. You didn't know that, did you? Tupac,

big L vice president. They're all in my Spotify. David, time for your final pick. I don't really have one this has never happened before i'm like dog i'm looking i'm on the internet right now i don't i don't have one i don't have david pick pick waterbed waterbed top top book uh no i'm trying to think a place that i used to like to really sleep

but it was like dangerous but i would get caught my cubicle at work yeah sure that was that was some that was like cheating sleep where that was like you know you're cheating on someone's sleep it was it was dangerous it was crazy i remember, we did that shit because we'd go in I mean, I imagine pretty tore up still a lot. There were a lot of times I'd stay up all night and just go into work at like 8 and be like, I am hammered. I have to be.

What childlike reasoning was that? I'll just drink all night and then go to work. Because you kiss someone at a party and that just got you. I was like, whoo! Best night of my life. I can tell you that wasn't why because I did it too. I don't know.

I think it's like, I'm not giving you my nights too. You can have my days. I also know Sean is churching up that story and that's not what happened at that party. I know that for sure because we've had this talk before about that. A chase happened at that point. I know that for sure. Cause I, we've had this talk before about that. A chase kiss under the moonlight.

It will not be on this show. The lady's escort sitting nearby. And that talk will remain. Yeah. That work, that work cubicle is like a good little... Yeah. Yeah.

I had some of those at Netflix. I don't know how you did it, man. Well, sometimes I would do it like on my lunch. Like I'd be like, I'm just gonna sack up right here for lunch. If you can manage to sleep with your head in one hand like this it's a posture that like people think like maybe he's really thinking yeah yeah he's really focused on something and we would have times where they weren't patrolling the floor as much too time for my final pick i'm gonna take i i oh i don't have to pick? Did I make my final pick already? No, you're about to.

Oh, shit. Ian's at the corner. Boat cabin. Yeah. Some wavy sleep. It's very specific. That makes sense. When Ivan Carmel wasn't buying leather couches,

he was taking us out on his boat. And there were some times when we would travel all the way down the columbia river to the mighty pacific ocean and it was like you would go sit up in the cabin of the boat like just up in like the front hold kind of thing it wasn't a giant boat and boat whoa he had a boat that you could take like it was like a 13 footer bayliner something like that like it was oh can that be my new nickname 13 footer baler yeah i'll call you that but it had like a cockpit is that no that's not the word it didn't have a cockpit it had like a front hold with like benches that you could sleep on okay or party on that might not be big

oh i know what you're that sounds like bigger than a baler maybe a little bit bigger than a 13 footer 20 footer known you guys for a while and i didn't know your boat knowledge went even half this deep so this is nice 23 foot bay liner doesn't matter it was like as deep as the mighty columbia maybe a 23 foot bay liner you could take it you could get it to the ocean it was nice he's got a nicer boat now the man you know what i mean the man's doing well he's buying leather couches okay this is what there's no reason to hide it in new york does that mean he just started being a boat guy when he got older? He was a canoe guy because he was a Boy Scout.

And then he came out west and he got into the boating business in a big way, baby. I'm pretty sure that's a Larry June line. Yeah. Came out west, got a boat, started pimping. And it's just like, again, the motion of the waves, the sound, it's just like the again the motion of the of the waves the sound it's just like it fucking zonked me out i could not stay awake it's actually the basis for a waterbed that's right yeah which uh unacceptable as a pick but i would go in that cabin with like red wall and i'd be asleep two pages into it sean like that your final pick. This is tough.

Every single pick on my list is gone. Yeah, they got... This one was hard. So this is pretty specific, but at our local pool at Keene Park when I was a kid, they would have 10-minute breaks. Did you guys have 10-minute breaks at your pool?

Or like adult swim? It would be... So when you'd get out of the pool, you'd be cold, and we would have to get two sidewalk squares away from the pool. So we cold and we would have to get two sidewalk squares away from the pool so we would lay down on the hot pavement like the hot sidewalk and just kind of sleep for a while and it would like warm you up it's like a turtle sunning itself so just like

the sidewalk hot sidewalk yeah technically That sounded like someone just said, yeah, there was some kid getting tugged off in the movie theater. He's getting a hot sidewalk. A hot sidewalk. Yuck, yuck, yuck. That's when she tugs you off after she eats Takis. Yeah, the hot side. God, that would hurt.

Taki dust all over my bed, dude. Damn. Yeah, the hot sidewalk. All right. Hot sidewalk. Marissa, do you have a place to fall asleep? Oh, yeah. Not a lot of picks left on the board, obviously.

I'm going to go for Blanket Fort. Oh, wow. That's great. Great pick. I was going to do my last three picks. That's great. I was missing my last three picks. That's a really good idea. Super cozy. You also get the privacy, which is really nice.

It gets a little warm sometimes, but if you built in, if you have a fan in there and it could be a really cozy sleep. That's why she's a super producer. I could get a blanket fort going in here. Yeah. You can get a blanket fort going as an adult. They don't, fucking Biden doesn't want you to know that but it's true i live alone who's gonna say shit not biden did right you went first you took poolside lounge chair nice grass an aeroplane a hammock and the back row of a study

hall david you went second you took the movies a sleeping, in a pool on a floaty, school bus, and work cubicle. I went third. I took the couch, the floor, the beach, a train, and the cabin of a boat. Sean, a.k.a. Big Movies, a.k.a. Space Titanic, a.k.a. Geriatric Tug Job, a.k.a. Skunk Ape, a.k.a. 13-Foot Bayliner, a.k. liner aka the ticalian stallion aka hot sidewalk this guy's got a lot of buried personality traits you took the backseat of a moving car a recliner after a holiday meal study hall a beanbag chair and a hot sidewalk eponymous sounds like my life trajectory just like that's. I'm shocked you didn't pick bathtub.

I don't really sleep in the tub. I take... That's for work. I clock in. I'm not sleeping. I'm like LeBron, but in the bathtub. Doing the chalk thing before you get in. We didn't leave a lot on the board. I have nothing else, yo. the chalk thing before you get in. With like talcum powder? We didn't leave a lot on the board.

I have nothing else, yo. Not one thing do I have that didn't get picked. I have one creepy thing left on my board. The arms of a lover? Massage table after the massage is finished. But you can't really trust that because they don't want you to sleep there. That's not really what it's for. I thought you were supposed to leave. A bird might come lay eggs in your butt too

yeah i thought a trampoline would be a nice place to sleep on under or on top i've never tried under but on top dude i had under a table on the list but i feel like i covered that with floor yeah Under the table is like a specific kid thing, though. You ever convince yourself that the table is kind of a blanket? When you're at a house party, you go under the table because you're like, well, I'll be warmer under the table.

I can't blanket enough. I love hearing adults talk and falling asleep. If you see a kid under the table sleep, you're like, oh, that's cute. If you see an adult sleep under a table, you're like, we got to get you a therapist. We definitely got to get you a therapist. They've been drunk there. We want to hear yours.

Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding us down. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to Super Producer Marissa. Shout out to St on the afe shaslackity the afe subreddit shout out to super producer marissa shout out to saint sue carmel happy birthday tomorrow uh shout out to saint ivan carmel happy birthday yesterday shout out to frankie ocean shout out to sid the dude shout out to haju beats shout out to uh uh uh uh uh uh fucking mother fuck i shout out to fucking shut up to fucking

big movies, shut up to Space Titanic shut up to Geriatric Tug Job, shut up to Skunk Ape shut up to 13 foot Bayliner shut up to Hot Sidewalk shut up to Big Tuna Melt shut up to fucking the North Dakota the Hawaii of South Dakota yeah dude

oh I'm the Hawaii of South Dakota if somebody had to be I guess I think we talked about that Hawaii of South Dakota? Yeah, dude. Oh, I'm the Hawaii of South Dakota? If somebody had to be, I guess. Dude, I think we talked about that. And more important than all that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sucklackity! that was a hate gun podcast