All Fantasy Everything - Pop Music Divas (w/ Megan Gailey, Sean Jordan and David Gborie)

Episode Date: February 23, 2017

Today's episode is just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby. Comedians Megan Gailey, Sean Jordan and David Gborie join host Ian Karmel to draft pop music divas. See Privacy Policy at https://art19....com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another all-new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that looks at the world and says, Hey, we could draft some of this stuff. That's pretty much what it is. Fantasy draft style. What a concise tagline. Yeah, we're workshopping it. We do sort of a vag a concise tagline. Yeah. It's good. We're workshopping. We do sort of a vaguely different tagline every episode.
Starting point is 00:00:48 All fantasy everything. The podcast that's like, whoa, now wait a minute. You know fantasy drafting for sports? What if- A tag paragraph. Yeah. What if- It's a tag paragraph.
Starting point is 00:00:59 What if we drafted things that weren't sports? Hey. I'm just spitballing here. That's part of the tagline Hey. I'm just spitballing here. That's part of the tagline. Now I'm just spitballing here. I mean, you got to spend money to make money. That's part of the deal. Yeah, that's part of the deal.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. That's part of it. Just work it in, man. These are all, all these bumper stickers are available. Sure. At www.com. My other car is a fantasy draft.
Starting point is 00:01:23 That's another one. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My kid is a fantasy honor student. That's another one. Yeah, yeah. My kid is a fantasy honor student. Yes, yes. Visualize drafted picks. Co-extract. Oh, yeah, co-extract.
Starting point is 00:01:34 No, I'm sorry. There it is. I mean, that's the bumper sticker. I don't think it was the part on par with what you guys are doing. And then it's got all of the letters are different sports. I feel like you're humoring me now. I don't like the term sports ball, but they're all different sports balls. Are you fucking with me? I hate the term. I don't like the term sports ball, but they're all different sports balls. Are you fucking with me?
Starting point is 00:01:46 I hate the term. You don't like the term sports ball? No, I don't, but I'm saying like the coexist, the different kinds of sports balls. I see. That's the only time I've ever said it without hating it.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Like a restaurant job. Try carefully, Doc. Athletic balls? Balls. Just balls. Just balls. Okay. All different kinds of balls.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Balls. All different kinds of balls. Balls. No one here is going to think you're talking about like a cotillion that's a ball kind of thing that is a ball is that a way to cotillion I'm having a ball I'm just having a ball
Starting point is 00:02:17 is a cotillion a quinceanera for white people no it's for rich people ask a question get an answer. I'm just saying. No, because a cotillion is like a bunch of white kids and a quinceanera is celebrating just like one.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Maybe a debutante. Okay. Is a promenade a dance? Like a prom? Is prom short for promenade? I think a promenade is a walk. Yeah. Okay. Isn't that Santa Monica? I think a promenade is a walk. Yeah. Is that Santa Monica? I thought it was when you strut your stuff. I don't get out to Santa Monica that much.
Starting point is 00:02:51 It might be. That voice you're hearing, if you're a loyal listener of the pod, you're familiar with two of those voices. The third is Megan Gailey, stand-up comedian, comedy writer, all-around chum, heck of a lady. I thought you were telling me to stand up. No. Megan Gailey, stand up. Megan Gailey, stand up. I was like, I want to get up.
Starting point is 00:03:13 They'll be able to hear. Get your high fives. Get your dap. Promenade. Those other voices, if this is somehow your first episode and you're somehow still listening. Sean Jordan. Hey. Sean S. Jordan. David Borey. Ha! the voices if you want if this is somehow your first episode and you're somehow still listening sean jordan hey sean s jordan hey david borre ha whoo i like that i'm working on a good podcast hello yeah yeah yeah at this point the podcast is pretty much the three of us and anyone unfortunate
Starting point is 00:03:38 enough to join us yeah uh it's fun yeah it's fun it is fun people like it yeah megan megan you Megan, you picked the topic today, and I couldn't be more excited about it. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was an excellent choice. Can I tell what my failed topics have been? There were a couple failed ones. I said appetizers, which I stand by as good. Mozzarella sticks, potato skins, wings, tacos. It's a stellar topic.
Starting point is 00:04:01 I think that after the stapler platter, we're just not. Here's what happened on an earlier episode platter we're just not I've heard We did garbage foods which is kind of appetizing Funyuns were not picked but that's sort of in the exact right line Shane Torres, stand-up comedian picked sampler platter
Starting point is 00:04:20 as a food I've been losing sleep over it I'm going to have a bite of sampler platter You can't food. Okay. As a food. I've been losing sleep over it. I'm going to have a bite of sampler platter real quick. You can't trust a man with long hair like that. That's a hundred percent true. No. You know how nice it is to hear somebody other than the three of us say that out loud? I'm thrilled.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I have this fun game I do where I ask people, if I'm on a long road trip or I'm with someone who I'm just struggling for conversation, I'll be like, if you could build your own sampler platter, what would it be? That is a great question, Megan. Now that is a- And they have to work well together. You can't be doing shrimp cocktail and then Hooters wing. It needs to be a cohesive top chef pairing.
Starting point is 00:05:00 But let's let that soak in for a second and maybe think about that. Because that could be different. I think you could have Hooters wings and shrimp cocktail. Or what if it was like a gummy, like gummy bears, gummy worms, like that kind of a sampler. I've only ever done it with appetizers. Something that could be on a menu at a restaurant. I'm a little worried that people are going to have heard that idea and now want to hear that draft because it's such a good idea.
Starting point is 00:05:25 It's okay. We'll do it. We'll have to have you back. Meg, will you come back on the podcast? Yes, because I've made myself an expert on appetizers. Yeah, that's a fucking fun...
Starting point is 00:05:34 That does sound like a fun one. Are those cherry blossom Nikes? Yeah. Those are so cool. Google cherry blossom Nikes. Those are dope. I got them as a gift from my boyfriend
Starting point is 00:05:44 and I opened them and I was like, and then I just was afraid. You were like unsure about them? Was that that noise? I was afraid I couldn't pull it off. You're pulling them off. Oh, you're doing it. Those are great.
Starting point is 00:05:52 And I went to dinner that night, and the waiter immediately was like, are those the Cherry Blossom Air Maxes? And I was like, what the hell? Is he still your current boyfriend? He's still my current boyfriend. See? Just because of the popularity of the shoe. He's making right moves.
Starting point is 00:06:06 You've got to keep it. I mean, that's a year. That's a year extension at least. Shout out to your boyfriend. That's how you do it. Very cool, funny guy. Nice job. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Fucking cool shoes, too. He fucked two things up after that. So the shoes were kind of like pulling us through. That's good. Yeah. That's good. You need to have those lifelines, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Yeah, yeah. Remember those shoes? I'm sorry I lied about knowing how to change a tire, but those shoes are going to be fun to walk in, right? Isn't that going to be fun? No, I'm just like, if I were to... Changing a tire is a clutch move. I remember... I've had to do it twice, and I
Starting point is 00:06:37 almost didn't get it done both times. The last time I had sex with my ex-girlfriend was shortly after a blown tire. Sure. And nothing else was blown. For months. Did you come through like a month?
Starting point is 00:06:53 Good for her. Good for her. It was good for her. She's all right. It's 2017. It is, for God's sake. It was 2016 at the time, though. It's 2016.
Starting point is 00:07:01 That changes things. For months. For months. Was this pre-election? Yeah. Oh, pre-election I was still sucking dick. Yeah, under Obama you would be absolutely. I was, yeah, I was doing it sometimes. Just like, yeah, we're all
Starting point is 00:07:13 happy, everyone's in a good world. I was so reckless when Obama had my back. Reckless is the wrong word. Fun. No, it was reckless. I was out here making stupid moves. My big brother's got me. I'm untouchable. I was too. We should get to the draft at some point. But yes, I was out here making stupid moves my big brother's got me I'm untouchable I was too, we should get to the draft at some point but yes, I was there too
Starting point is 00:07:29 I was wearing hoodies with no t-shirt underneath well you know you can't be doing that Obama's president, anything can happen what are you in Color Me Bad, you're wearing t-shirts we're gonna find out that shit's like illegal we're drafting female pop divas today female pop divas and it's an excellent topic.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Thank you. And one that I think we're all qualified to be drafting on. I realized how qualified I was as I was making my list. When you first suggested it, I was a little worried. But they come to you. They do. Because they oftentimes are grouped together. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And there's also, I don't want to give away, but some pop divas have had like a busy last week. It's been like a big pop diva time. Sure. They really have. Really? It's been active for a bunch of them. Oh, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Oh, you've got to pay attention to the zeitgeist. Yeah. You just got to watch Loose Chain. Do you not read Breitbart? No. You've got to get on Breitbart.
Starting point is 00:08:18 They did a whole ranking of female top divas. That would be amazing if Breitbart did that. I just got top of gotcha. Guys, Milo, we lost Milo. We've be amazing and bright-pointed. I just got Tom and got you. Guys, Milo. We lost Milo. We got to get back into the mainstream.
Starting point is 00:08:30 They just go full BuzzFeed? That would be amazing. Which race's Disney character are you? Which race is the sneakiest? This is what Disney princesses would look like catching tear gas grenades from riot cops. I'm a Latin. We should determine the draft order. The way we do that is through a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Play between the three of you. Rock, paper, scissors, and then shoot. So the way it works, if you all throw the same one, then we just do it again. But if two of you match and the other person doesn't, if there's two scissors and one paper, the paper wins. Paper wins. So that's how we do it. Okay. So odd person out wins.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And we go one, two, three, shoot. And here it goes. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And we have. Oh. All three different. We have a rock, paper, and scissors. We're doing it again?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yep. But don't you win? No, because it would be a circle. Because he could. It would be an infinite circle. Okay, okay, cool. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And we have. Oh, two scissors. David Boyer, you win? No, because it would be a circle. It would be an infinite circle. Okay, cool. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Starting point is 00:09:27 And we have, oh, two scissors. David Boyer, you win. Rock, paper, scissors again. I, first of all, won so many. You win so many of them. I win so many. Nobody cares, dude. Well, if you're simple, and it's a simple person's game.
Starting point is 00:09:39 I take note. Mama told me when I was young, simple man. That's how I got this far. Be a simple kind of man. I used to think that and Freebird were the same song. I just thought it was because everyone's like, Freebird's fucking long, dog. And I was like, Simple Man's. And you thought it was even longer.
Starting point is 00:09:56 I thought it was the last part of Freebird was Simple Man. And it turns into Renegade at the end of it. And then Free Fallin'. Hollywood Nights. It's a medley. I just didn't watch the Free Fallin', there's a whole... Hollywood Nights, it's a medley. I just want to watch the Free Fallin'. David, now you picked the draft order, and I should remind both Megan and our listeners, this is a serpentine draft.
Starting point is 00:10:12 So like a snake. So if you have, you know, you know what that means. Yeah. I'm going to go first. You're going to go first. Who's going second? I'm going to go first. I'm going to say Sean Jordan, Megan Gailey, Ian Carmel.
Starting point is 00:10:25 All right. Then we slither back around. Sure. I'm going to go first. I'm going to say Sean Jordan, Megan Gailey, Ian Carmel. All right. Then we slither back around. Sure. And then it snakes sort of serpentine-like. Then David Borey with the first pick in the female pop diva. All fans say everything. Nobody saw it coming.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Number one on my list? Yep. Tiffany. What? He said earlier at the crib. What? He goes, I'm going Hart first. And then. Oh, And then You've gone rogue Tiffany I love that song
Starting point is 00:10:50 Which one Is it the one she wrote about In Playboy It's a cover but whatever Yeah dude Oh my god I saw Tiffany perform At a Cleveland Cavaliers game You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, dude. Carousel skate for days. Oh, my God. Holding on to one another's hands. I saw Tiffany perform at a Cleveland Cavaliers game.
Starting point is 00:11:08 How great was it? Oh, it was bleak. Did they play a game in the mall? Oh, 2016. Oh. This was three months ago. Is she from Cleveland? This season.
Starting point is 00:11:17 This season. Her acoustics are built for a mall. That's not even fair. I think they made the Cavaliers dancers dance behind her and you could tell they were like, who is this bitch? Everything was... Yeah, they don't know Tiffany. All those dancers are like 20. I forgot until now. Have you ever gotten
Starting point is 00:11:34 like two whiskey drunk on like a Thursday? Absolutely. Guarantee it. Just by yourself? Just really played that song loud? No. No. You had me... I love the video great i love that she's in the mall oh man great big red hair i have good memories i have good memories of that song for sure and i remember when it came out i was little i was like eight probably i was a kid i remember
Starting point is 00:11:59 my mom you were a baby it's an insane pick david It's an insane pick, David. It's an insane. Really insane pick. For the first pick overall, I'm crazy. Finally, somebody else blows it on the first pick. Yeah. That's my Herschel Walker. You know, well, we'll see. You know her last name's Darwish? I didn't even know.
Starting point is 00:12:16 I didn't even know. That would have changed my whole. I wish she didn't have a last name. I do, too. Yeah. I would have. Of course they would call her Tiffany. Her last name is what?
Starting point is 00:12:25 Darwish. Darwish? She may be married to someone whose last name would call her Tiffany. Her last name is what? Darwish. Darwish? She may be married to someone whose last name is Darwish. What's your name? Tiffany Darwish? Darwish.
Starting point is 00:12:31 All right, first order of business, Tiffany, before you sign that dotted line, we're going to need you to drop the Darwish. If we're going to get you
Starting point is 00:12:37 into these malls, we're going to need that Darwish out of there. You're going mostly off the strength of I think we're alone now. Yeah, he's doing a one hit wonder.
Starting point is 00:12:44 And now that I said it, I really do regret it. It's out there. Yeah, it's like a bean burrito. You know what I mean? You should have gone fourth because then you could have taken someone solid and then Tiffany. Maybe you needed to hear our picks to know that that was a bad pick. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:13:01 You know. Listen, I've seen people pick Phillip Rivers first. It's not. And it's all. You don't know. The stakes are low. This is on the listeners. I feel like the listeners has a huge Canadian following.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I think the listeners have a big redhead following. We know they have a big mall following. We have a huge mall following. We do have a big mall following. She did a mall tour. I think I'm going to be okay.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Okay. I mean, I didn't know she was Canadian. She's Canadian. Now I know. No, I don't to be okay. Okay. I mean, I didn't know she was Canadian. She's Canadian. Now I know. No, I don't know if she's Canadian. I just assumed she was like her. She's not. She's from California. She's from Norwalk, California. Excuse me. I'm sorry. That was my fault.
Starting point is 00:13:36 I assume the Canadians enjoy her vibe. You know what's tight is I could drive to Norwalk and see probably the home of Tiffany. Probably the mall she was born in. The mall she was conceived, born, her first. You could get her on this podcast. It would probably be not that hard. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:13:51 You know what I'm going to do right now? I'm going to do right now. Are you going to tweet at Tiffany? I'm going to see if she's on Twitter. I can't even handle this. I can't even do this. I can't even do this. By the end of...
Starting point is 00:14:00 I have a video of her somewhere on my phone. See? She gets the conversation going. Oh, yeah, here she is. She has 36,000 followers. That's not bad. That's pretty good. That's more than any of us. Well, she made a hit song. Hey, Tiffany. Hey, Tiff. Me and my friends were just talking about you.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Huge fans? Yeah. How's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tag me, but I gotta change my avatar. Shit. What's your avatar right now? I hate Tiffany? No, it's just I was going to change. I mean the bio because right now it says my squirrel got a squirrel friend. I don't know if that's what I want Tiffany. By the way, you didn't make my first choice any easier because you picked something that I would have never entered into the realm of divas that I was going to pick.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Tiffany? I thought maybe. Nobody saw that coming from you. No. The tweet is out in the world. In the ether. Tiffany's your first pick. We'll see. Only history can from you. No. The tweet is out in the world. In the ether. Tiffany's your first pick. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Only history can judge it. Yeah. Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. And with the second pick of the first round, Sean Jordan is going to say Mariah Carey. There it is. And it's going to be because of there was like the 95, 96 summer where it was like fantasy dream lover and always be my baby all three of them just made my right before i started i was like 13 yeah and that was just like
Starting point is 00:15:13 i love mariah carey it was oh i understand it's the bean burrito don't fucking just don't get all sour in our don't know if you. In our last. In our last. We drafted the Taco Bell menu. Oh, man. And it was so fun. Great. Sean Jordan took the bean burrito with his first pick. What? With the first pick overall in the draft.
Starting point is 00:15:33 That's like your vegetarian dork friend. I thought. No. No onions. No onions. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Tell me somebody took a Crunchwrap Supreme. That was my first pick. Thank you. That was my first pick. Like a goddamn professional. Like a pro. Listen. Let's focus on Tiffany over here. I can pick Mariah Carey.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Mariah Carey's great. That's what I'm saying. That ain't a bean burrito situation. No, that's solid. She had hits with ODB Bone Thugs. She's legit. Her and that Wave Runner. Who are you talking to?
Starting point is 00:16:02 Heartbreaker, you got the best of me. Her and fucking Sean Carter. And Emotions. Sure. Also, what's that one with her and Boyz II Men backstage? Oh. One Sweet Day. One Sweet Day.
Starting point is 00:16:14 And I know you're shining down on me from heaven. I believe that was Mariah, Nate, Wanya, Sean, and Mike were all on that song together. Wanya. His name was Wanya. Name still is Wanya, by the way. He was the heart and soul, the backbone of that group. I have her in her own category in my list. Sure.
Starting point is 00:16:36 She's like... A, number one? She's just... There's three that I don't even know if I can... Like, if they were even allowed. Really? Yeah, it's like. Is she one of them?
Starting point is 00:16:46 Oh, absolutely. Explain your reasoning. I think that's so interesting. Because she's almost like above pop divas. I see what you mean. I kind of see what you mean. I can't even tell you the other two, but the other two also sort of like defy what I consider to be a pop diva.
Starting point is 00:17:07 They are the top of the ladder. They made it a term. We're going to allow Mariah Carey and those other two on your list fully in play. I know what you mean. It's like calling Michael Jordan a shooting guard. I guess I forgot he was a shooting guard. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:22 I kind of forgot he was a shooting guard. I guess he forgot he was a shooting guard. I guess he forgot that he had a position. Yeah. Is he the greatest shooting guard of all time? I'm the lobbyist. I play the one through five spot. What do you play?
Starting point is 00:17:33 I play everything else. She's so fucking awesome that she could even like stunt on those high notes that like are really unlistenable but make them sound cool. Really upset
Starting point is 00:17:41 like my mom in the car at the time. Those kind of things. Really? The emotion. I'm not even singing. I'm like, that's hella singing. How do you even...
Starting point is 00:17:48 In front of other humans do that? You guys think Mariah Carey was in here for a second? I did. What about the Eminem debacle? Oh, I mean, she's had countless debacles. Has she ever seen her today? There's some debacles. I saw the ad. Have you seen her new show? Oh, Mariah Carey? I haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Oh, yo. Is it on? I'm sorry for screaming. Is it on Hulu? She's got a TV show. It's on Planes. Is it on Go Night? It's on Delta.
Starting point is 00:18:13 It's on the Delta network. It is a reality show. I forget what network it's on, but it is insane. It's very contrived. She's not a nice person, too, right? She's been famous. I like her, though. They do. She does seem a nice person too, right? My staff likes her, though. They do.
Starting point is 00:18:26 She was the only Cribs that had wardrobe changes in it, which I was super into. Her getting in the bathtub for Cribs was so dope. Nick Cannon is a pretty big issue. That's a huge issue. David just saw the Nick Cannon.
Starting point is 00:18:41 We didn't talk about it on the podcast, did we? The Nick Cannon stand-up special. The most recent one. My friend worked on his first one. Also bad. It was in Vegas. It was called Mr. Showbiz. They had to prevent people from walking out.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Really? That makes sense, though. If I went and told everybody I was going to do an amazing solo guitar show, just because I'd seen a guitar before. And you just blow it. And then I just went up there. He was up there wearing a glove.
Starting point is 00:19:12 He wore a glove! One fucking... You come out here in one... I gotta fucking work in this town. You can't... Yeah. You're wearing one glove. I gotta do shit.
Starting point is 00:19:23 And now you're in fucking leather jackets and say freedom on the back. He's wearing a turban. What the fuck? He's wearing a turban. Did you see him in the NBA All-Star game? Nobody cares about me because this dude's wearing yellow turbans and blue tachikis. He was wearing a Hype Williams video at the All-Star game. That hat looks like.
Starting point is 00:19:41 But he's trying to do the right thing too. Fuck that guy, man. Yo, he looks awful. I don't know. He's falling off in a way that I'm worried about. Look at his eyes. They're always frantic. They are always frantic.
Starting point is 00:19:51 He's always frantic. He's a panicking figure. If Drumline is on on a Sunday afternoon, I'm watching it. Drumline's fantastic. It doesn't... I don't skip past Drumline. I'm shocked he would even go to the NBA All-Star Game. Right.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Because it's like, they don't like you. You think Russell Westbrook wants to shake your hand? Yeah. Nobody likes... No. There was one... There's a meme of him walking past jay-z and jay-z is just like sitting there like looking at him smiling and nick's like got his chin up and it was just like oh man when you got the confidence to walk past the cool kids table yeah because you knew your shooters were cool too you're like they might trip me they might trip me but i don't care nobody wears patons anymore dog nick cannon wasn't he the young like wasn't that who chapelle in that sketch was were cool too. You're like, they might trip me, they might trip me, but I don't care. Nobody wears Peyton's anymore, dog. Nick Cannon,
Starting point is 00:20:25 wasn't he the young, like wasn't that who Chappelle in that sketch was like the young he referred to? Yeah, Nick Cannon is hilarious.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah, Nick Cannon is hilarious. He's like, I hate you Nick Cannon. Yeah. That's my 100 out of 100 Chappelle impression.
Starting point is 00:20:39 I'll give it to you. Mariah Carey's fantastic, but yeah, the Nick Cannon is a little problematic. This new reality show is pretty crazy. She gets pushed around in a... Actually, it's pretty dope.
Starting point is 00:20:51 She gets pushed around in a chair with wheels on it. Just like around... That's how she moves. In an office chair. Have you seen that? Yes. That's how she gets to the stage. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Wait. To the stage? Yeah. I don't mean this in a weight way at all, but I think she is the human personification of Miss Piggy. Yes! Oh! Like, so...
Starting point is 00:21:11 Hurry up! Yes. Like, has no control of anything, but, like, the people directly around her is in tiaras when it's not...
Starting point is 00:21:20 That is perfect. Yeah. That's perfect. She is Miss Piggy. She kind of looks like Miss Piggy a little bit. I kind of get that vibe off her. The newest Muppets show? Like the new new one that came out like last
Starting point is 00:21:32 year. No, fuck me. No, okay, that's fine. No, I know what you're talking about. I'm a sitcom. They changed Miss Piggy? Yeah, but she's like that. She's like a Liz Lemon. They sexed her up a little bit. They sexed her up? They sexed up Miss Piggy a little bit. They did. They did.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Because there are some weird times where you're like, I mean, I see you, Kermit. Megan, that's one of the greatest points that's been made on this podcast. She is fucking human Miss Piggy. And like no shade on either Mariah Carey or Miss Piggy. No, no, no. No, no. We love them both. They are both pop divas.
Starting point is 00:22:00 They are pop divas. If one of you, if you had picked Miss Piggy, I would have liked that better than Tiffany. My mind didn't even go that way. I wish that I would have thought like that. What? Everyone's favorite Mariah Carey song. Oh, Fantasy, dude, with ODB. It's mine, too.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Yeah. Or, you know, I'll say just whatever. Oh, man. Either Emotions. I just really. You get emotions. Like that. And then what was the one
Starting point is 00:22:26 with Bone Thugs and Harmony Break Breakdown oh yeah instead of breaking me on down promise to die I remember
Starting point is 00:22:36 playing the Aladdin video game on Super Nintendo oh I love that game mine is Hero that song gives me goosebumps to this day damn 35 year old goosebumps I get when I watch that song that is such Hero. That song gives me goosebumps to this day.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Damn. 35-year-old goosebumps I get when I watch that song. That is such a good song. Always Be My Baby. I'm going to amend it. That's actually my favorite one. Isn't it so good? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:52 And Dream Lover, too. Was she like duets with herself on it? Yes. God, that's dope. And like that video, she had a rope swing. Yeah. Yeah. She was hot.
Starting point is 00:23:02 She was. Come on. She was. She was fucking. She was. Come on. She was. She was fucking. She was. I didn't even know what hot was. I just knew. I didn't either.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I didn't know why it was so sweet that she had little shorts, but it was sweet. She married the head of Sony. Tommy Mottola. Yeah. Power moves. Honey was. Honey was bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Or no, glitter, you mean. Well, glitter was bad, but Heartbreaker was great. Yeah. I never saw Heartbreaker. Was Heartbreaker with Jay-Z? Oh, yeah, and that was in Making the Video. Yes, they were at a movie theater. What a fun show.
Starting point is 00:23:35 You are now going to see the world premiere. Oh, I love that. Yeah. They got rid of all these dope shows. But the kids like it. The kids still love it. The kids haven't seen Crips. But the kids like it. The kids. The kids still love it. The kids still enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:23:46 They haven't seen Cribs. They like the show. They enjoy the show. Because you can't see Cribs. We tried the other day, so stoned, to find Cribs to the point where I was using. Even on YouTube? It's off YouTube. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:58 I was using the Internet Explorer on my Xbox. The Internet browser. Never seen it. Never seen it before. To go to MTV.com. The internet browser. Never seen it. Never seen it before. To go to MTV.com. Yeah. Wow. I've definitely gotten high and watched making the video.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Oh, man. There's a classic one who will be my first pick. Oh, well, let's get to that right now. We've discussed Mariah Carey. Megan Gailey. To me, she's the quintessential pop diva, Britney Spears.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Of course. Yeah, that was on there. I love her. Crazy, you are now going to see the world premiere of Drive Me Crazy. I love that song.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I still love it. I'm so excited. And it's got Adrian Grenier and he was an entourage. Yeah. I honestly don't mind the movie. I love, those are my perfect movies.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Those high school dramas, I love them. I honestly don't mind the movie. I love, those are my perfect movies. Those like high school dramas, I love them. I would like race home so I could finish my homework and watch TRL premiere videos. Yeah, TRL was. Oops, I did it again. Everything was just like, yeah, it,
Starting point is 00:25:00 she just changed. It all changed the world. She changed like how I dressed, everything. Yeah, she murdered it. What was the first one? Oops, I did it again. Oops, I did it again. No, the first one.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Before Oops, I did it again? Oh, no, maybe one more time. Oh, baby, one more time. Yeah, my bad. That's what you meant. It was so intense. And she's in that schoolgirl outfit. That schoolgirl outfit.
Starting point is 00:25:19 But also just that song is very like, I still believe. When you were younger. You know, it's intense. Looking at her in a school. When I was like 12 and she was 18, I was like, I shouldn't be looking at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It felt way too adult. She was a schoolgirl, but I knew it was for like grown-up pervs.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Yeah. And you could tell. You're like, this isn't... Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is for like a dude in a divorce. Like, this is not... Somebody getting drunk at a TGI Fridays and this comes on and he's like i can go back knowing what i know now i'm 12 school girls like trade me fun dips yeah there's not it's not sexual
Starting point is 00:25:52 she still does shit too i mean she does out every vegas i think she has like i would love to see one of the highest grossing vegas shows lifetime just made a biopic about her that was terrible with doesn't she go to mcdonald's? I mean, I don't know what she does. But her body looks good again. She definitely is on pills. It's like a weekend at Bernie. Prop that bitch up and get her arms moving. Do the puppet master.
Starting point is 00:26:17 She's a full-blown diva still. Has the choreography suffered? Because she was quite a dancer. I think she can still dance. I just don't think she can do anything else. She can raise her children. She can't sing while dancing. I saw Britney Spears at the
Starting point is 00:26:31 Sioux Falls, South Dakota fair. Wow. When I was 17, probably. I bought a ticket for my friend Nick and I, and we went and saw Britney Spears at the fair. What vintage was it? Huh? When in Britney's career was it? 1999. Oh, wow. Oh in vintage was it? Huh? When in Britney's career was it? 1999.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Oh, wow. Oh, that was the bubble. Yeah, it was like, she was big. I mean, we just didn't have an arena or anywhere big for her to play. Pre-toxic. Post-Baby One More Time. It was like, yeah, it was about 99 because I used to, yeah. That's crazy era, right?
Starting point is 00:27:00 It was so good. She was huge then. Yeah, she was massive. And there was just nowhere in South Dakota for her to play, so she did the fair. Britney Spears fucked around and had the Neptunes producing songs for her and stuff like that. She was doing it, man. Slave for You? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:12 You listen to that beat, it still fucking knocks. It's so good. So it's stronger when she dances on that chair. Stronger than yesterday. She's got some good things for her Excluding the Tiffany pic Which I can't You went with your heart You went with your heart and you shot from the hip
Starting point is 00:27:30 Mariah Carey and Britney Spears I think what we value in Divas They're kind of crazy I didn't know you guys were going straight for the Pantheon What have we ever built up to the pic I don't know It's alright I love your Tiffany pic I've blown it so many times with my first pic. I don't know. It's alright. I love your Tiffany pic. I've blown it
Starting point is 00:27:46 so many times with my first pic. No, I know Bean Burrito. I'm sorry. I only did that to make myself feel good. It's okay. I can take it. I have a thick skin. People have been calling me names my whole life. I appreciate it and I still think you're cool. She had so much heat that her little sister
Starting point is 00:28:01 had a career for a minute. Jamie Lynn. Her little sister's kid is sick, and it was on CNN. Yeah. I'm like, Jamie Lynn's child is on CNN, and we can't get Sean Spicer out right now. Right. Exactly. What about Kevin Federline?
Starting point is 00:28:20 Federline, too. The backup dancer that struck gold. You know his other baby's mom is Char Jackson? Niecy from Moesha? Really? I don't know why I know that. I just blacked out when I said that. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:33 But that's true. I believe you. Yeah, Britney Spears, man. Perfect. I hope she's happy. Oh, I don't think she knows happiness. I don't think she does, right? She's just on pills. I think she's happy. Oh, I don't think she knows happiness. I don't think she does, right? She's just on pills.
Starting point is 00:28:45 I think she's happy she's on pills. That fucking sucks because it's like it's everyone's fault for turning her into that. Yes. She wouldn't have just been that way. She seemed like legitimately affected by fame. I really am such a negative way. We went to Target today. Can you imagine going to Target and like not being able to get your toenail clippers?
Starting point is 00:29:02 If people were just mobbing you the whole time? Remember when she shaved her head and beat someone with an umbrella? She went crazy. She went into a mental institute. And it sucks. Here David was buying his first pair of toenail clippers ever today. He's never clipped his toes ever. Now they're going to think I'm that fucking guy.
Starting point is 00:29:23 They're going to be like, this guy doesn't pay taxes. He loves Tiffany. He doesn't clip his toenails. I'm that fucking guy they're gonna be like this guy he doesn't pay taxes he loves Tiffany he doesn't clip his toenails who's this fucking guy where did he say you didn't pay taxes in there what that's a good one she I mean if you were like so prized for your looks like that
Starting point is 00:29:40 I bet you would want to shave your head and just be like fuck off too cause she was Mickey Mouse Club, too, right? And then she was with Justin Timberlake, and she was a virgin. Slight technical difficulty. In all fantasy, everything first. What happened was Tiffany, the singer Tiffany, burst into the studio. Obviously, she reads her tweets.
Starting point is 00:30:02 She personally chastised David for picking her first. She came at me with a bedazzled rhinestone acid wash jacket. She drove here from the Fox Hills Mall, threw a bean burrito at me. It's a good time for a quick update. Still no reply from Tiffany on Twitter. We're waiting. Come on, T-Bone. She's probably asleep.
Starting point is 00:30:22 We're waiting. So Britney Spears, yeah, she was famous. Also, she was in the Mickey Mouse Club. Yeah, and then she had that relationship with Timberlake. Yeah, where she was supposed to be a virgin. And everyone cared if she was a virgin very bad. They did. People had big opinions.
Starting point is 00:30:37 She had fake boobs. Did she have fake boobs? All of this when she was probably 17 or something, too. And you're like, fucking chill out on the kid. You know? That's why. And then she went nuts. Who can blame her?
Starting point is 00:30:49 When I was 17, it was a big deal that I was a virgin. I'm airing your personal business. Probably the biggest deal in my life. But, like, Brit Hume didn't have an opinion on it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. We weren't talking about that in ad room before high school in Sioux Falls. And then the denim, the whole denim outfit.
Starting point is 00:31:09 That was dope, dude. Oh, he had the hat. Or did she have the hat? Which one had the hat? I think she had the hat. I think she did. She had that token beautiful curly blonde hair. God, but he had a crispy, didn't he?
Starting point is 00:31:19 Yeah. He wore a crispy somehow. And like cubic zirconium earrings. Yeah. I was digging his boots, his baggy jeans, his thug appeal. You guys remember the hit Black song, Bring It On To Me featuring Justin Timberlake. I felt bad immediately post that because he came out of that relationship looking amazing. Not free.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And that Cry Me A River song, everyone was like, Brittany cheated on you. She cheated on you she cheated on him is that what people say what did you do that's exactly what was happening I mean there was a girl that looked like Britney
Starting point is 00:31:49 in the video and then for some reason we didn't mind that he went and like filmed him fucking a girl like on her bed
Starting point is 00:31:55 and played it on the TV he filmed himself fucking a girl like in the video at the video dude cause he's like Cry Me a River I'm gonna fuck on your bed
Starting point is 00:32:02 and everyone's like this poor guy the only problem I have is that I think music videos are real. It's gone back for years. I love it. That explains, yeah, like when you thought Shauna got chased through a hallway by an elephant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:19 And his pesky just stole him. Britney did a very meta video for the song Lucky. Oh, yeah. Like a famous girl. It was so hard to be. It was so. She's a lucky girl. Early morning.
Starting point is 00:32:32 She's a star. Yeah. And she cried, cried, cried. Yeah. And Lucky was Brittany. Yeah. Lucky. True story.
Starting point is 00:32:40 I just found that out earlier this year. I had gone my whole life thinking, who's this lucky girl? How do I find out more about her? What happened to her career? What's her story?
Starting point is 00:32:48 She was getting up so early. Sounds like Britney's putting her on. She was, but she was crying. Yeah. In her lonely heart? Or car. I could never tell at the time. But what's a lonely car?
Starting point is 00:32:59 I've cried in a car. I have too. I've mostly cried in a car. God, I have. I have. If you walk past the car. That shit sucks. I've mostly cried in a car. God, I have. I have. If you walk past the car. That shit sucks. I have lost it in a whip before.
Starting point is 00:33:08 In Oregon, though, when it's like pouring rain and you're in a car crying, it's delicious. Especially if you're like wet. Yeah, you're wet. This is so justified. I fucking love that. It's good to lean into that every now and then. I haven't cried in a while. Tonight might be the night.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Sometimes you've got to turn on the shower. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Cry in the shower. Yeah, that's the last place I cried was in the. Tonight might be the night. Sometimes you've got to turn on the shower. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Cry in the shower. Yeah, that's the last place I cried was in the shower. Head against the wall. That's in a lot of music videos, too. Yeah, that's where I got it.
Starting point is 00:33:32 There's a diva I can think of right now who has a great crying. When I first moved here, I walked down the street, a very busy street. In Glendale? In very broad daylight, bawling, because I was so stressed out. Oh, I can't even cry in the daytime. It's right by the Goodwill. Oh, I cried in the daytime. That's scary. bawling because I was so stressed out. Oh, I can't even cry in the daytime. It's right by the Goodwill. Is that when I showed you the belt I was going to hit you with when you came home and I said
Starting point is 00:33:50 have a good day? I need to go to Busy Streets. I'll see you at six. I've cried at the Glendale Americana three times. Why? How could you be sad there? It's such a happy place. I was crying in my car and I got really disoriented and I pulled into valet.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Okay. But I didn't meet, I wanted to like be in the parking garage. And so then I was like. By Din Tai Fung kind of? I didn't want to valet. And he's like, you can back up. I'm like, no, I'll just valet. Just crying in valet.
Starting point is 00:34:24 That guy thinking it was because you had to ballet. No, he was just like, it's pilot season, girl. I get it. Here, wipe your eyes on your headshot. The old dream factory. I've never cried at the Americana, but now it's a goal. Oh, God, no. I never will.
Starting point is 00:34:41 It's one of my favorite places in the world. Oh, I love it there. Oh, I absolutely adore it. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable crying there. I never will. It's one of my favorite places in the world. Oh, I love it there. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I absolutely adore it. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable crying there. I get that. I could, yeah. And it's like, these Armenian kids don't care. No.
Starting point is 00:34:51 What's that white lady doing? I've gone there to stop myself from crying. I've gone there when I was bummed to cheer up. You're in a cheesecake factory? No, I never, I don't get, because it's bummed because I'm broke. So like, I'll go in there and walk around and be like, this is fun, you know? I hope one day you look back at this period in your life and say, oh, man, at one point I didn't have Cheesecake Factory money. And you sell it.
Starting point is 00:35:11 We're at the Cheesecake Factory ordering whole sides of the menu. We get a round of cheesecake for the table. Yeah. Let me get a caramel pecan for the table. I would love to talk more about the Cheesecake Factory, but we do have to get on to my first pick. It's always happening. The first rounds are always very long, and then by the fifth round, we're just yelling out, like,
Starting point is 00:35:31 Blue Cantrell! Which I hope doesn't happen. As it is a serpentine draft, I have back-to-back picks. It is, like a snake sort of thing. And I can't wait for these two. My first one, I think I'm going to go. You have to.
Starting point is 00:35:46 And she has to be a first rounder. I knew it. It has to be Beyonce Knowles. Oh, okay. Oh, you didn't think I was going Beyonce. That's not who I was thinking. I thought it was somebody different. She's a special one.
Starting point is 00:35:55 She's a very special. Was she one of the ones in your, I don't know if she's a pop diva list? She defies even that list. Yeah. She's even above that one. She's the highest. She's the highest. It's hard to imagine. I'm sorry as a kid. I watched her. I got to write for the Grammys this year.
Starting point is 00:36:10 You know, I was fortunate enough to be in that position. And she performed and we got to watch her at dress rehearsal and everyone, everyone in the whole room, all these jaded industry people, 80, you know, or not 80, but like, you know, 65 year old dudes who
Starting point is 00:36:26 had hands that were built only for screwing things together and tearing things apart. Like those kind of just gnarled granite men were just like fixated just watching her. She's such an amazing performer with such an amazing voice. What is a heavy performance this year too. Crazy performance. I'd be a judge for like, Jesus, the, just the sheer volume of what she was doing. She has a song. I mean, Lemonade Alone. She's pregnant with twins. I don't know if I
Starting point is 00:36:51 believe it. You don't think that this one's real? Do you feel like she was pregnant the first time? Absolutely not. She was not. I'm with you on that. I'm a Beyonce pregnancy truther. I'm 100% with you on that. I don't think she was. I think that baby is hers, but I don't think she carried it. That's hers.
Starting point is 00:37:06 That's Jay-Z's. Yeah. That did not come. Do you think it's a Solange situation or who? No, no, no. You hire like a woman to do that. Oh, you don't have a good cousin? Who's dead now, by the way.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Definitely dead. Yeah. Yeah. So they just hired like an incubator for their child. That's why Betsy DeVos got to be Secretary of Education. She carried Blue Ivy. Betsy DeVos got to be Secretary of Education. She carried blue eyed beans. Betsy DeVos carried blue eyed beans. You got to give me something, but I'll carry it.
Starting point is 00:37:32 That's so funny. I'll carry that little package for you. I 100% think she wasn't pregnant that first time. The crease video is way too compelling. I've seen the sitting down video. Are you talking about the one where she's sitting down? Yeah. Sitting down or standing up and it's like the ripple is
Starting point is 00:37:45 in the middle of where the baby is. I understand she has twins this time. Right? And I definitely think she's pregnant this time. Maybe she's doing this one like, I'm gonna show them. Yeah. I'm gonna show them I really think that's what it is. But then I think she's gonna be like, oh, having a baby is hard. Yeah. It's really hard.
Starting point is 00:38:01 She was back to normal so fast. Yeah, and someone asked her, they were like, how'd you do this? And she's like, oh, I've been jogging. And she supposedly had a C-section with Ivy. You can't jog for, like, months. So she kind of, like, there's whole articles about, like, how Beyonce outed herself about not. I love her.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Listen, I went to Lemonade. I bought Molly. I wore a jumpsuit. I did. Listen. This does not make any of the songs less good. How was Beyonce on Molly? Oh, I cried so much.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Yeah, I bet. I think that's a cry. That's a good cry. Yeah, I cried at Dodger Stadium during Lemonade. I mean, I cried happy tears, sad tears. Doing Molly and seeing concerts is up there. It's the best. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Yeah. I did Molly for Kanye I've talked about it on this podcast before So I won't go too far into it But what a night Can I just put an addendum I did Molly and drank Hennessy on Saturday And that is not a good idea You didn't tell me that you did Molly also
Starting point is 00:38:59 Yeah me and blank guy Whose party it was split one Oh yeah And I've been drinking red wine. Man, Molly's not a just hang around someone's house drug. No. It doesn't seem like it. It's an event.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Yeah. Yeah. Molly, I took Molly when I DJed the Bridgetown after party. I took Molly when I danced to that DJ song. Yeah. And it was fun. It was awesome. I lost my mind for about an hour and a half.
Starting point is 00:39:23 How do you get that Bridgetown after party DJed spot? They just keep giving it to me. Portland's favorite son has to give it to me. You was awesome. I lost my mind for about an hour and a half. How do you get that Bridgetown After Party DJ spot? They just keep giving it to me. Portland's favorite son has to give it to me. You gotta be. They give it. Let me get 20 minutes if you're in there this year. I'll give you three songs. I'll give you three songs.
Starting point is 00:39:34 I'll turn it out. And just so I can stand up there and think I'm crip walking. One won't be Tiffany. Okay. Two of them will be, though. David B. Dave. I think we're alone now. You're gonna do that? And then a different Tommy James and the Shondells song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. two of them will be there. I think we're alone now.
Starting point is 00:39:45 You're going to do that and then a different Tommy James and the Shondells song. We're going to dig in their vault a little bit. There's a Beyonce song for all seasons. Anything, any mood you're in. And all of Destiny's Child too. I mean, you can't.
Starting point is 00:40:01 What was their first? No, No, No, right? No, No, No, No, No, right? Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. And we say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That song. I love Survivor. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:40:11 I wanna live. I wanna live. That was when she came out and you were like, Beyonce's the dopest. Yeah. Because I feel like she didn't have a lot of personality before then. But when Survivor came, when they went down to three. Yes. When they cut off the dirt.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I know what they were doing. It was just Michelle, Kelly, Beyonce. Because I always thought Michelle was the most beautiful. Michelle, I see her and my jaw drops. Michelle is beautiful. Still, and so is Kelly Rowland, by the way. Kelly Rowland's amazing. Kelly Rowland.
Starting point is 00:40:43 And very talented. Kelly Rowland. This is a terrible. Kelly Rowland looks like the way. Kelly Rowland's amazing. Kelly Rowland. And very talented. Kelly Rowland. This is a terrible. Kelly Rowland looks like a young single mom to me. And not even like a broke, but like she's got it together. Yeah. And that kind of. You mean she looks like a man would leave her.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Yeah. No, he didn't leave. Or she kicked him out. He didn't leave. It was the short haircut to me. It was the short haircut. Oh, Dilemma? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:04 That one was Nlly being a greasy bastard though that's probably why she looked like a single mom yeah oh maybe she just nelly maybe she just loved the thugs i could see that her being a single mom she's strong she's doing it but her dad was a thug and she loves them i mean she probably wrote Soldier. Yeah. I love Soldier. Even Lil Wayne's verse. That little gremlin. Getting in there. On Lemonade, there were so many different genres, too. I know this is a point that's been made by better people than me, but she had a kick-ass country song and a rock song.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Formation was such... It's insane. I love the person who did win the Grammy for Song of the Yearation was such It's insane. I love the person who did win the Grammy for Song of the Year and everything. She's great. But Formation was the fucking dopest song of the year. All last year period. I came to slay, bitch. Yes! Because it was the video. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:41:58 That shit was scary. I didn't know it was Big Freedia. Yeah, Big Freedia's on there. I did not come to play with you, ho. Yeah, I came to slay. Oh, it was so cool. You're doing it perfectly. I've watched so much of Big Freedia. Yeah, Big Freedia's on there. I have not come to play with you, ho. Yeah, I came to see... Oh, it's so cool. You're doing it perfectly. I watch so much of Big Freedia's TV shows. That video's so good.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Yatta, yatta, yatta, yatta. So good. I got to see Big Freedia in New Orleans once. It was so dope. Oh, man. At a Comedy Central... Comedy Central bought a booth
Starting point is 00:42:19 at a club that Big Freedia was playing at, and they got bottle service, but it was the shittiest. I mean, thank you Comedy Central. I think it was the only bottles they had but it was the shittiest bottle service. It was just pop off?
Starting point is 00:42:31 It was like pop off and orange juice. I would do it. Pop off and squirt in the VIP. Yeah, New Orleans is like, this is what we drink. Exactly. I was so happy. There were so many people up on stage.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Big Freedia's great. But that video, that twang, that... And that guy from Ray Shremard wrote. Isn't that crazy? I love Ray Shremard. But we can get lost in the sauce here. We can, definitely on Ray Shremard.
Starting point is 00:42:58 So Beyonce is my first pick. My second pick... So my first one was my head. Nobody can criticize me for taking Beyonce. My second pick. So that, my first one was my head. Nobody can criticize me for taking Beyonce. No. My second one. Not coming to your heart. Celine Dion.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Sure. Oh, shit. Damn it. Guys, damn it. It's so solid. It's bulletproof. I love Celine Dion. Who wouldn't?
Starting point is 00:43:19 What are you going to say? What are you going to say about her? That's my Uncle Joe's. I love her. That's my Uncle Joe's number one. His celebrity, his all-time girl. That's's it she's a fucking lunatic what's your favorite she's gotta be married a corpse of a man she did and that was a long time ago he's been a corpse for a while he's dead yeah he's he fulfilled his destiny earlier this year i think
Starting point is 00:43:40 i saw her in concert and it was her voice in concert was still flawless the only issue with it was she kept talking and it's like bitch we are not here to listen Indianapolis her speaking voices is not good
Starting point is 00:43:59 is she from Montreal? she is so French Canadian she has like 11 brothers and sisters. Was she born on like a maple syrup factory? Basically. Plantation? Do they have maple syrup plantations? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Am I being racist? No. They have to, right? They gotta have big fields of trees with maple caps on them. She's from Charlemagne, Quebec, Canada. The youngest of 14 children. Yep. I said 11.
Starting point is 00:44:28 That's what Charlemagne the God is from. Charlemagne. Her parents were a butcher and a homemaker. Yes. So you were not far off. If you have 15 kids and you make a living for all of them as a butcher. You must be a fucking butcher. You are butchering.
Starting point is 00:44:42 You are taking apart some animals. You really are. You're killing strays. You're getting rid of anything to keep that meat coming out. You're getting rid of butcher. You are butchering. You are taking apart some animals. You really are. You're killing strays. You're getting rid of anything to keep that meat clean. You're getting rid of evidence. It's all going up. You also have to live in Chalimant. Chalimant. Chalimant. My favorite Celine Dion song. It's all coming back
Starting point is 00:44:57 to me now. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. It's weirdly sexy. It's coming back to me now. It's weirdly sexy. It's like... There were always a whole lot of little flashes of light. There were nights of endless pleasure. It would always seem right. There were nights of endless pleasure. There were more than all your lousy love.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Baby, baby, if you touch me like this. And you hold me like that. It's an epic fucking song. Also, what were the things she would never do? Is that butt stuff? No. No, I feel like she's up for that. Opening her heart. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:37 But it was that night. I don't know. There was a storm. There was a storm. You do a lot of stuff in the storm. There was a storm. There's been a Charlemagne storm. Is that not a sexy storm. I thought it was a sex song. Is that a... Is that a sexy song? Oh, it's a soup?
Starting point is 00:45:49 I mean... It's written by the guy who writes all the meatloaf songs, so I don't know how sexy it is. It's basically anything. It sounds like a meatloaf song. It sounds like anything I would... You know what I'm talking about. There's a Celine Dion meatloaf version of it. Yeah, there is. They sing it together.
Starting point is 00:46:03 We used to drive around. I would not, but my best friend used to drive around. I would not, but my best friend used to drive drunk in college. You don't have to. I'm not. We all have done it.
Starting point is 00:46:10 There's a part where something slams. Yes. She'd be driving her Jeep Liberty, open her door, driving, and then slam it.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Whoa! Perfectly drunk driving to that song. I would always do that. See, that's why America is the greatest country in the world. I would do the beep, beep.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Who got the keys to the Jeep? Yeah. I would always honk my horn, that's why America's the greatest country in the world. I would do the beep, beep. Who got the keys to the Jeep? Yeah. I would always honk my horn. Yeah. Yeah, Celine Dion. I mean, she's so good. Yeah. The Titanic song, My Heart Will Go On, is still good.
Starting point is 00:46:36 It's just the melody, just the little whisper of it, and you're like, oh, my heart flutters a little bit. Yeah. She had her greatest export. She's fantastic. You've heard the six-code? Those pipes. I feel like live, how was it? It her greatest export. She's fantastic. You've heard of Six God? Those pipes. I feel like live, how was it?
Starting point is 00:46:46 It was just amazing. Oh, incredible. And she sang. And she sang. Yeah, good. I mean, well, that's what I'm there for. She'll even put some stank on it every now and then, which is so weird.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Yeah. Yeah. Because she's Celine Dion. You're looking at her and you're like, how is this happening? That's that butcher stank. Yeah, that is that butcher stank. Not a lot of people have it. It's like she got the singing power of all 14 kids. Yeah, yeah, Dion. You're looking at her and you're like, how is this happening? That's that butcher stank. Yeah, that is that butcher stank. Not a lot of people have it.
Starting point is 00:47:06 It's like she got the singing power of all 14 kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all mute. What if that was the case? Yeah, her brothers and sisters can't do it. She sang it, but. Yeah. Well, for Celine.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Yeah, Jacques hasn't spoken since. For record deal. Oh, all right. All right, everybody. So I'm going to Beyonce, Celine Dion. Sure. That's great. I might just stop drafting after that
Starting point is 00:47:25 Megan it's time for your second pick based on your pick I changed my second pick and since this is my last person that was in the category that I thought wasn't allowed Whitney Houston yes
Starting point is 00:47:39 may she rest in peace but that voice that was the next on my way she's resting in peace. That was the next on my list. That was a tormented soul. What's your favorite Whitney era? Because I like it all. I Will Always Love You.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Yeah, The Bodyguard. The Bodyguard was so transformative to me as a young white girl in Indiana. I think she's got six songs on The Bodyguard soundtrack. One of them is a cover of Jesus Loves Me, but all the rest are originals made for the movie. Well, I guess I always loved you, but there's like four originals, and they're so fucking good.
Starting point is 00:48:13 That one where she's like in the clouds? Yeah. I Want to Run to You? Yes. There's like Queen of the Nile or Queen of the Night or whatever it is. I want to run. I also loved the music video to Heartbreak Hotel.
Starting point is 00:48:24 I was just thinking about that The red hair Oh yeah Heartbreak Hotel I remember that was like kind of a later Whitney Oh that's the hit Her two early songs I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Starting point is 00:48:40 What was the other one? How Will I Know If He Really Loves Me Throw those on at a point Bridgetown dude People go nuts you can never i want to dance with somebody always kills the first time everybody goes nuts always the first time i dj'd the bridge down after party i was doing i was making a mistake which i think a lot of these people will be jonah ray i'll put him on blast right now makes this mistake every time he does it where you at hidden america yeah
Starting point is 00:49:04 where you at i Hidden America? Yeah. I'll tell you where he's at. He's hiding his records, his fucking obscure-ass records that he plays when people are just trying to dance. And I did the same thing. I was up there trying to play, like, what about this Le Tirek song or whatever the fuck. No, Motown. Yes, that's exactly. And Guy Branum sweat-danced his way up to me.
Starting point is 00:49:20 God, isn't he a vision, though? He's an angel. That shit is crazy. He descended upon me like an angel, though he's an angel that shit is crazy he descended upon me like an angel and he's an amazing dancer and he was like you need to play something that's gonna get people dancing i was like what do i play guy and he's like play i want to dance with somebody but i wouldn't use them i put that on it always worked and it worked and after that i was like okay keeping that mindset and you know as soon as it goes like everybody's like oh yeah molly just boom. Everybody's like, oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Molly just kicks in. You're like, oh, I do want to dance with somebody. I want to dance with 500 people. You love me. But on the same token, when you hear, ee. Yeah, same thing. I mean, like, if I get wet. I just.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Like, just from if. You just gave me, like, tiny little goosebumps. I just used that. And I knew what you were going to do. Oh, God. And she's a good actress. How's that? Oh, do. Oh, God. And she's a good actress. Oh, my God. In that movie, she's a good actress, which is so nice.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Don't forget The Preacher's Wife. Oh, yeah. I will not forget The Preacher's Wife. And Soul Food. I was talking about Soul Food. Have you seen Vivica's Black Magic? It's about black male strippers. No.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Go home and watch it. Is this a documentary? Oh, no. It's on Lifetime. Oh, I have seen ads for that. It's like a TV show. Because I was watching the Braxton show. Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:28 Okay, I know what you're talking about. But Soul Food is. Soul Food's great. Soul Food's great. She grew up singing in the church. That's cool. Yeah. But also she was like, she was real grimy.
Starting point is 00:50:39 She's from Newark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever heard Bobby Brown talk about her? He's like, ghetto boy meets ghetto girl. And you're like, oh, she was with it. Yeah. And then they were doing whatever. They were a gross kind of love, which I'm into.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Yeah. Gross kind of love. I just want somebody to smoke crack with forever. Well, until they die. I feel like you could find that person. I don't think it. I want it to be like. You want it to be like Whitney. Yeah. I want it to be like we fuck up our mansion. I don't think it... I want it to be like... You want it to be like Whitney.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Yeah. I want it to be like we fuck up our mansion. I don't want to smoke crack at a park with some... If you go block west and get a mansion, you'll be in business, my friend. One block. Just one over there. Oh, man. Whitney Houston is great.
Starting point is 00:51:18 That's a great pick. Thank you. Even the death, which is so tragic. She only adds to her legend. Yeah. The what if. The what was left on the table. She's only 48. There could have been some more with me.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Her voice was so strong, too. That really fucked my next pick up. Well, let's see what you got, Bean Burrito. Sorry, I won't jump in on it, too. No, it's fantastic. The third pick, Dasani Water. Don't jump in on it, too. No, it's fantastic.
Starting point is 00:51:44 The third pick, Dasani Water. Ooh, Dasani. Just let it be known that I wanted this to be Whitney Houston. It can't be, obviously. Sure. So now it's going to be Taylor Swift. Okay. That's who I'm taking.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Wow. That's who I'm taking right now. You love Taylor Swift. I do love Taylor Swift. I enjoy Taylor Swift. I don't see why anybody wouldn't. I love her. This was a rough year for her, but she is a hits maker. I mean, she has the only album that I've bought every song off of separately.
Starting point is 00:52:15 And then I was like, well, now I got the whole fucking album. I could have saved five bucks, but I just wasn't ready. It was like my whole getting ready to be like, do I like Taylor? Am I super into Taylor Swift? Red or 1989? 1989. Okay. And then I just owned the whole album.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Yeah. And it's fantastic. It is. I listen to it every time I fly. Style is my, I don't know if you guys are weird like this, but every time I take off and land, I have a song that I listen to and it's style. And if I don't listen to it, I think that I'm going to die. I don't have that, but I do have death songs
Starting point is 00:52:45 queued up in case the plane starts crashing when I want to hear it. Oh God, all right. Maybe you don't want to put that juju out in the world.
Starting point is 00:52:53 It changes from time to time. Wow. It has been, there was a Rilo Kylie song once. Megan, wow. Yeah. I'm the only one who does that?
Starting point is 00:53:03 All right, fine. No, I mean, I have a list of things That I would do While the plane was going down I would punch somebody Just one person Just like, hey man, we were gonna die
Starting point is 00:53:17 Is anyone flying soon? Oh, I'm flying on Friday We shouldn't talk about this Yeah, that's what I'm saying Anyway, I have death songs I remember The first time I heard style We shouldn't talk about this. Wednesday. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let's not. Anyway. Anyway. I have death songs. When I remember the first time I heard Style, I was driving from Wisconsin to South Dakota, one of those fun trips, one of those real scenic trips. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:53:34 It's not. So Style came on. I was like, who the fuck is this? And it came on the radio like five or six times, and I did not know it was Taylor Swift the whole time. Because it was like when it was brand new. Yeah. And I didn't own the whole album yet because I was a dickhead.
Starting point is 00:53:46 So yeah, that was my introduction into style. I've done that where you're just like, you're like, and then when you find out, you're like, all right, I did that with Party in the USA. Oh, yes. That was a big thing about Taylor Swift. She always seems down to like bring her friends out on stage. I like Sara Bareilles a lot. And she brought Sara Bareilles out on a show.
Starting point is 00:54:03 And I think that like helps someone like her out and like gives them all this a lot of she put ed sheeran on it a big way ed sheeran is if we were drafting whatever a dude diva is he would be yeah this round in my pick because yeah they're fantastic all right well go ahead megan i have a psychological analysis of t swift i was gonna go down that road too i think that she is a I think as a child she was a dork. Yeah. She was like a theater kid or just like a not cool dork. Well, she's gawky and that never helps.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Right. Like she's tall and like got that look. And now she wants to be like, look, I have friends. Mm-hmm. And it comes from an insecure place I do believe. Yeah, probably. But yeah, I want to see Gigi dancing. So I'm like, thank you.
Starting point is 00:54:49 But there is something sad about her, too. There's definitely something sad. Well, because she keeps getting dogged out by all these dickheads. I don't think she has. She what? Oh. She keeps getting, like, all these. Not dogged.
Starting point is 00:55:01 That's not a. I'm saying, like, dumped. I'm not laughing at the term dog down i'm not a savage jesus christ i thought you said like i'm over here fucking eating out of the garbage like i'm a billy goats gruff man ever since that tiffany pic david has been set off oh yeah he's had to wait so long i feel like because you had to wait for so long you haven't got to pick again yet, have you? I've just been sitting.
Starting point is 00:55:27 He has Beyonce and Celine Dion. On the board. We're just over here chewing up clock and you're like, I want to shoot. Yeah, man. I've been in the gym. My face is so red. I don't think Taylor Swift has had any relationships, especially as an adult, that she wasn't
Starting point is 00:55:44 trying to get something out of. That does feel like that. Not that no mark against her music, or even her as a person. I don't have to hang out with her. But I feel like it is a very what can you do for me sort of thing. Sure. And I've wondered this a lot, like, is Taylor Swift nice?
Starting point is 00:55:59 Because she's been famous since she was a child. Same thing with Bieber, and you're like, how could you be polite? You wouldn't know what politeness was because people have just been waiting on you. But then you are, yeah. I could slap Bieber. I feel like I could get close enough to him. Bieber's cool, though.
Starting point is 00:56:14 I think I could put a hand on him. I don't think he'd take me. You probably should. You probably should. No way he could take you. Like a heart. You don't think he could take you? I don't.
Starting point is 00:56:21 No way. I don't think he could take you. I don't. I really, I've done enough to know that I can. The two seven foot, 400 pound doodsy rolls with could. Yeah, that's the problem. But I get one in the mouth. I get one piece to the mouth.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Take me out. Take me out. Take me out seven feet, people. You're ready for the repercussions? Yeah. I don't give a shit. I don't think they'd be that mad at you. I think they'd be like, we've been wanting someone to do that.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Yeah, they'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. As long as you didn't try to hit him twice. Yeah, you hit him the once, they're like, all right. I think you would have to be like, I don't think that I would even be allowed close enough, so I'm coming in renegade anyways. All right. Like I'm Superman punching over the ravioli. You know what was the conflicted?
Starting point is 00:57:03 Because you see, I don't know if Taylor Swift is nice she's really good to her fans which is cool she really is good to her fans but that's a psychopathic thing
Starting point is 00:57:10 I felt it was kind of self-indulgent because she put it on YouTube she's so self-indulgent which was a bummer to me the whole Kardashian
Starting point is 00:57:16 Kanye Taylor Swift triumvirate of things that was a weird scene it's such a weird with Kim releasing the receipts it's such a
Starting point is 00:57:24 it's such a tangled ball because Kanye releasing the snaps. The receipts. It's such a tangled ball. Because Kanye going up and interrupting her award speech sucked. Made her. But it made her. But it did make her. I think they... I've always thought that was an orchestrated thing. Really?
Starting point is 00:57:35 That they were like... This is... Because she was a country girl. Yeah. That put her on the map. That was the perfect... Yeah, that was how I... No publicity is bad publicity.
Starting point is 00:57:42 And you believe the I made that bitch famous line. You think it's kind of true. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That's interesting. Dad, I laughed so hard when I saw it. I never believed it until right now, but it's like.
Starting point is 00:57:52 It's hard to think of Kanye as being involved in a plan. Like, when you watched it happen, it was so entertaining that I could see it being. Because you're like, this is great. It did help. I loved him for it. I was like. I did, too. That's hilarious. My only thing. He was right. That loved him for it. I was like, that's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:58:07 My only thing, he was right. It's a way better video. My Girl Beyonce on my list. On my list. Really great video. Single ladies. Fun video. They didn't have videos back when Tiffany was a pop star.
Starting point is 00:58:19 They didn't have video production. She had a video. It was at the mall. She was in a bunch of malls. Twirling. That was a horny stepdad that recorded her. Well, it's time. David's suffering has lasted long enough. It's time.
Starting point is 00:58:30 I got to pick this one just to get my clout back so you'll trust me with my other picks. I almost wish you'd wild out and just go fucking crazy here. I can't go rogue. I can't go. I kind of want to go rogue. You know what? You know what? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Fuck everybody. Yeah. Adina Howard. Oh, all day. I'll get you back on that all day. Freak like me. 1993. I didn't even.
Starting point is 00:58:50 I wasn't even aware of what the idea of sex could possibly be. But they were wearing rainstorms. Or they were wearing knee pads and rainstorms. You had to have been like six. Yeah, I was a boy. Because I was. I was a little. I remember being in house parties that my mom had.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Yeah. Like in that song playing and like weird adults making me dance. Not like sex traffic-y, just like drunk. Like we drank a bunch of Cutty Sark. Hey, dancing. You would have been on YouTube. Yeah, I would have been like Will Terrio. Oh, that would have been dope.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Like that fat kid, like wearing a mint t-shirt. Can I say some shit about Idina Howard right now? What are you going to say about Idina? Because I didn't know anything really about Idina Howard other than she was name-checked in that Kendrick song, which is awesome. She has Freak Like Me, which is like that song. And I knew Freak Like Me. That song is so good. Here's the paragraph on her Wikipedia, the opening one.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Please, please. Idina Howard is an American singer and songwriter. She roasted fame during the mid- mid 1990s with her debut album Do You Wanna Ride and her debut single Freak Like Me some of her other minor hits include
Starting point is 00:59:51 What's Love Got To Do With It with Warren G fine Freak And You Know It Nasty Grind Freaks with Play And Skills And Crazy Bone
Starting point is 01:00:01 and then T-Shirt And Pandas with Jamie Foxx Jamie Foxx so Jamie Foxx. So just to sort the wheat from the chaff, here's a song called Freak Like Me, Freaks,
Starting point is 01:00:10 and you know it, and Freaks. Hell yeah. That's a good pick, David. Nasty Grind? T-shirt and panties and Nasty Grind. Nasty Grind B-side.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Nasty Grind B-side. I would love to watch her and Tiffany be on this team. Wow. It would be, I think their chemistry would be unparalleled i'll tell you what they're scrappy those two yeah they're a lot scrappier fiance
Starting point is 01:00:29 might be have you guys heard freak like me like that song i love it she says on the weekend that's like yeah that like that whole it's so sexy and as a kid i didn't even know what it meant i just knew i was like i like the way i feel here's what it meant. I just knew. I was like, I like the way I feel. Here's what it meant for me. It was guaranteed I'll be on the skating rink at Carousel Skate skating to that song. That's what it meant for me. Oh, man. Did you skate to it?
Starting point is 01:00:52 Every time. Every time it came on, I would just drop what I was doing and rush out, and I'd be skating. You're building like a VH1 surreal life cast. I know. I'm going to come back. I was going to say Celebrity Apprentice but like they're not even
Starting point is 01:01:06 they're not even I'm coming back with my next pick I just like I feel like you backed me in the corner on that one really quick just one more fun fact about Idina Halle in 2011 she started
Starting point is 01:01:22 work on her culinary arts degree a cookbook and a restaurant in Austin, Texas. She graduated from Le Cordon Bleu. Okay. Really? She can cook, too. What's the restaurant called? Freak.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Doesn't say, but there's no way it's not called Freak. Freak Eggs and Ham. Freak Eggs and Ham! I would eat there. I want it. I would eat there. I want it. I want a partnership. I'm going to go down to Freak's, get some chicken. Dina Howard.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Oh, there's a documentary about her. Yeah. Dina Howard 20, a story of sexual liberation. Get out of here. With all those modest song titles, she's sexually liberated? It turns out that happened at some point. She, man. Freaky.
Starting point is 01:02:03 She's so, also just that video, she's so gangster. Like, to be, like, I feel like there were a lot of, there was not a lot of women in 90s R&B singing about sex that, like, really had a hold on it like she did. Like, she was so tough about it. She was, like, she owned her sexuality in a big way. In the morning, I'll take you around the hood on the gangster lane. She was like, we could fuck. I'm going to drive you around the spot and then drop you off at the bus because you're moving kind of slow.
Starting point is 01:02:35 Yeah. And she was probably saying that to like Tretch. Yeah. Someone hard. Yeah. Like a hard. On the heels of your Dina Howard pick, I have to tell you that Tiffany has responded. No!
Starting point is 01:02:47 Yes! Oh, shit! What? First, a follow back. And then second, a response, yo, yo, yo. Or as my good friend, Downtown Julie Brown. No, she didn't say that! Would say, wubba, wubba, wubba.
Starting point is 01:03:00 And she tagged Downtown Julie Brown. She did! So Downtown Julie Brown's involved now. It's all happening, Penny involved now It's all happening It's all happening Tiffany dude What? If you get Tiffany and Penny Lane
Starting point is 01:03:11 I think it's a good pick now I can't even come in the studio I gotta stand outside Dude That's fucking awesome Man I feel like your sales are full now Yeah
Starting point is 01:03:21 Yeah And it's time for you to make your third pick And this one is with my head We love her. The Island Gal. Wake Up DeWaste. Rihanna. Riri. Nice. I love her. It was her birthday. Yeah, it was just her birthday.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Happy birthday. I love all the stuff she does with Puma. She does do cool Puma stuff. She does cool Puma shit. She smokes hella weed. She gets kicked off of Instagram, which is gangster as fuck. Yeah, she was just like naked all the time. She's like naked all the time. And she's like, yeah, suck my dick.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I don't. And the music. And the music. Bangers. Umbrella. Oh, yeah. Umbrella like changed a summer. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:03:57 It really did. That came on in a lift the other day. And I'm just like, you know, this fucking thing does knock. Like, this is a dope song. Yeah. Umbrella's great. Fucking. That J-verse on it was really good, too.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Yeah. Breathe a Little Life in the Jay-Z's flagging career. At the time, yeah. We'd call it flagging. Her and Fuck His Butt, but her and Chris Brown, the Umbrella remix. Yeah. Girl, it's getting late and you can stay the night. Oh, come on, man.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Rihanna, yeah, it's... So many hits. Slammed up. So many hits. Who's her first... She's slammed up. So many hits. So many hits. Who's that? She's the coolest. She smokes blunts all the time. Yeah, what was her first hit? Her first banger, it was-
Starting point is 01:04:30 Pondi Replay was the best. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Run some Pondi Replay. Mr. DJ wants to turn the music up. Hey, mister. What was the one, too, where it was like a guy was cheating? The video, how about a round of applause?
Starting point is 01:04:44 Oh, yeah. Oh, man. And her new song, that love song round of a ball? Oh, yeah. And her new song, that love song. I love it. Oh, it's great. Love on the Brain. It's so good. It's a great album. She had the most dramatic songs.
Starting point is 01:04:55 Do you remember the first? And it got played out. But the first time you heard Love the Way You Lie. Yes. You were like, I think her and Eminem fist fought. Oh, you mean Eminem's classic lyric? I guess that's why they call it windowpane come on my favorite lyric i'm not talking about i'm talking about that's all right because uh oh in mont or what was that song dum dum dee dum disturbia disturbia oh it was dark and she's got like some yeah she's had dark she's had
Starting point is 01:05:22 sugary bubblegum pop she's done's done it all. She's great. We found love. I love that. Oh my God. Found love. That's a song to hear on After Party. Oh, you know what we should do if Rihanna comes,
Starting point is 01:05:34 we should all do Molly and go see it. Oh shit. Because I bet we found love when you're on Molly, it would be amazing. Oh my God. I'm already there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:43 I'm wearing some kind of green. In Vegas, prefer. Yeah, you are. I'm wearing some kind of green, maybe like a bucket there. Yeah. I'm wearing some kind of green. In Vegas, prefer. Yeah, you are. I'm wearing some kind of green. Maybe like a bucket hat. Yeah. Diamonds in the sky. Diamonds in the sky.
Starting point is 01:05:52 Yeah. Shine bright like diamonds. It was forever. Rude Boy, she just kept coming back. Rude Boy was fucking. She can't be stopped. Rude Boy was pretty in your face. And she seems like the coolest.
Starting point is 01:06:02 I would be so terrified. Because she's beautiful. Oh, God. I would be so terrified because she's beautiful. I couldn't have sex with her. No. Sex? I can't be in the same sex? There's no way. It just couldn't happen. I couldn't. I've heard your songs.
Starting point is 01:06:17 I can't even smoke weed with her. Remember when she turned down Drake? Yeah. Drake wanted it so bad and she was like, I don't give a who does get to fuck rihanna so did they ever date her and drake did they ever i'm sure he like bought her hell of shit she was just like i'm good yeah who gets to fuck rihanna i don't it's just gotta be person whoever tyson beckford is right now yeah whoever that person is right now but younger and like younger jimmy butler yeah like
Starting point is 01:06:45 a jimmy butler jimmy butler get to i don't know i just want them to i love that jimmy butler like man he would kick the shit out of me oh yeah he's jimmy butler would kick you right in the stomach and he's like that dark skin angry it's gotta be hard it's too weird looking yeah it can't be hard i could see it being jimmy butler like a younger Dwayne Wade. I could see Shumpert. I could see a guy like Shumpert. Well, Shumpert's with, what's her face from the Kanye video. Because it would have to be a basketball player. I don't think she'd even fuck with a football player.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Because you can't. They're not famous. Yeah. It would have to be a basketball player. Well, George. Oh, isn't she always giving eyes to LeBron? She's real thirsty for LeBron. Well, I think Lebron can do whatever he
Starting point is 01:07:25 wants i feel like that's because i feel like i feel like at that level it's just a power situation you remember on instagram it is a king and a queen that is a power relationship but j and b they would be like guy like guys like me they would be our because j and b are definitely like we wouldn't ever hung out in high school no no no no, no. It would be way too cool. But like Rihanna and fucking, who are we talking about? Bron Bron? Yeah. Rihanna and Bron. Like, we smoked some dirt weed together.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do have more in common. Yeah. Like, we smoked in like your mom's van in 10th grade. She wrote 23 on her stomach with suntan lotion. Do you remember this? And like posted it on Instagram. Where it was just like the bottom
Starting point is 01:08:07 of her face, her boobs, her stomach, and the top of her bikini. With like 23. In suntan lotion. It looks like jizz, folks. But what if she's going for the god? Which god? The six.
Starting point is 01:08:23 No, 23. Michael Jordan? What if she. Oh, Michael Jordan? Michael Jeffrey Jordan? What if she's going for Michael Jordan? That would be crazy. You know how fucking mad I'd be? He does not deserve Rihanna. They could share gigantic jeans, though.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Because she's into that old JNCO move. Michael Jordan. God, I'd be furious if I ever did. You know, Michael Jordan, that would be it for me. Rihanna, great pick, David. Adina Howard and Rihanna back to back. Very sexual. Very sexual. Very liberated.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Sean Jordan, you went Taylor Swift with your last pick. I did. It's time to see where you go now. We're going Janet Jackson. Janet Jackson. Oh, nice. Very solid. Janet Jackson.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Not my favorite diva. Miss Jackson would be nasty. Miss Janet, I'm nasty. Yeah. I mean, the whole track record, all of it has been fantastic. Even Escapade? Which one is Escapade no but there was a song
Starting point is 01:09:08 let's get away there was a song sort of like Escapade called Love Will Never Do Without You and it had your boy Tyson Beckford in it in the video yes
Starting point is 01:09:15 just a dope video dope song like and then there was like If and That's The Way Love Goes when those came out
Starting point is 01:09:22 and I was probably that's a great 14 Velveteen Rope Era yes and I just remember hearing That's The Way Love Goes when those came out. And I was probably 14. Velvet Rope era. Yes. And I just remember hearing That's the Way Love Goes. Like, this is fucking dope. Like a bunch of dudes that look like Lenny Kravitz in the video.
Starting point is 01:09:31 And I'm like, oh, chill. Is that the one where she's like dancing in Africa? What is that? No, that one is. I love that song. You're thinking of the Michael Jackson video. No. No, I'm just joking.
Starting point is 01:09:40 She's like. That's the Way Love Goes is when it's like her and a bunch of dudes who look like after school counselors. Where it goes like a mop to a flame burning by the fire. My love is blind. Can't you see my desire? That's the way love goes. That's good.
Starting point is 01:09:54 I gotta find that song. And then she had If and obviously like Rhythm Nation. I mean, all those dope songs. Her and Michael had Scream together. And I just feel... Scream is great. What was that song? Heard from a friend today
Starting point is 01:10:06 oh again that that video is good sure she has she's got a belly chain poetic justice that might be it and i'll never fall in love with you again and the whole video is together again together again how's that go this is all I wanted to do today, guys. Focusing on the diva part of it, though, which I feel like I have diva-ating from. Yeah, yeah. Just like the big show. She would put a lot into her show. She would.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Which is a diva move to me. Yeah. And I should say that I feel like Taylor Swift does that as well. But Janet Jackson was really into choreographing and working out. Taylor Swift has to be a diva because she has her banner hanging up in the Staples Center. It's like Kareem. What's that song called? Is that called Together Again?
Starting point is 01:10:55 Yeah. All I want is... That's all I can think of. It's not happening for me. What was up with Rhythm Nation and just like the... What was the weird Nazi imagery? Because she was pop music? She was heavily influenced by Michael and his weird shit.
Starting point is 01:11:09 He was too. When he was doing all that shit. That was history and stuff. That was kind of weird though I feel like. Yeah. I feel like they – It's this weird riot cop sexy. It's this weird – you know.
Starting point is 01:11:17 But it is cool. It is. It does look cool. It is cool. You'll get no argument from me there. But it's just – it's weird. It's a weird thing that – I guess the Nazis just knew what they were doing with this stuff i guess we just have to we really have to they were trendsetters they were trendsetters i'm not kidding in that nazi sled no thank you
Starting point is 01:11:34 that's very uh there was the fact that she was in a movie with q-tip for a brief moment just poetic justice poetic justice pretty bad movie it doesn't hold up. But it's got like... Why are you talking about Poetic Justice and Q-Tip? Janet Jackson. She was Justice. Yeah, but Tupac was in that. You bring up Q-Tip. No, I'm just saying... Also Tupac.
Starting point is 01:11:53 Yeah, Tupac. Yeah, I understand. Trust me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's fantastic. That movie did suck, though. It did.
Starting point is 01:11:57 It doesn't hold up. It wasn't very good. A lot of my favorite people in it, though. Yeah, great movie. Yeah, Janet Jackson. I've always just... I've always enjoyed Janet Jackson. What was that song with Busta?
Starting point is 01:12:05 Gonna make your body wet. Gonna make your body wet. The video was crazy. They were all made out of metal. They were all T-1000s. I didn't believe Busta was going to have sex with Janet. No. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Gonna make you scream. Black Cat. Oh, damn. Black Cat was a song that I liked a a lot too and you guys remember that one black cat something you're living on the edge not afraid to die you don't remember that song oh i don't remember that at all it was like when i was in like sixth grade maybe if you talk sing some more of it down at the dock stay awake and i know that you're living such a dangerous life every time i think it's literally about a black? Who's living down by the docks?
Starting point is 01:12:46 Bon Jovi? I don't know. That's where Rhythm Nation practices. Janet Jackson. Yeah. Reverse down by the dock. We got a little space. Because they have to actually get technically into international waters before they're able to operate as a sovereign nation.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Do the Nazi dance out on the international water. I recognize that she's a beautiful person, but the fact that she looks so much like post-op Michael Jackson weirds me out. Pretty buck, right? It really weirds me out. Is she your baby yet? I don't... Who's the father? She's married to
Starting point is 01:13:19 a billionaire, like a Middle Eastern tycoon. But she was also real low-key married to Jermaine Dupri for a long time. It was only low-key on her part. He was telling everybody. He has a Janet tattoo. He told me Mariah carried it. It's the same thing as these short dudes, man.
Starting point is 01:13:40 I can feel your light shining down on me. The song is so good. I remember that song. All right, now sing Black Cat like I wanted to, but I can feel your light shining down on me. The song is so good. I remember that song. Now sing Black Cat like I wanted to, but I can't sing. Yeah, she's married to a Qatari business magnate named Wissam Almana. That is dope. That's what I'm going to do. Wow.
Starting point is 01:13:56 That is a move. That's like a third husband. Yes. Just like Qatar? Okay. He just takes care of you. Whatever. He's cheating on you.
Starting point is 01:14:02 You're cheating on him. It doesn't matter. It's not called cheating. It's called you gotta do what you gotta do. We own a soccer team? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, exactly. You got a Bugatti? I don't know what that is. I mean, Volgari with a weird B in front of the V.
Starting point is 01:14:15 Like, I need that in my life. We were talking about how cool it would be if you got a Ducati. Me? If you just pulled up on a lime green Ducati with a lime green leather jacket. I'm too fat for a motorcycle. But I think he could be a cop. I saw a fat guy.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Because I've entertained. It's terrible. I will be honest. I've entertained these thoughts before. But I saw a fat guy about my carriage on a motorcycle yesterday, and I was disgusted. And I don't judge other fat people ever, but I saw this guy. I was like, get the fuck off that motorcycle don't act like
Starting point is 01:14:48 don't act like you don't know exactly who you are right now get the fuck off that motorcycle if you can't pedal a bike you're not allowed on a motorcycle my dude it was just big fat ass on the back of a motorcycle it's not a good look
Starting point is 01:15:04 love handles oh boy Big fat ass on the back of a motorcycle. You know what I mean? It's not a good look. Love handles. Oh, boy. So, yeah, Janet Jackson. Yeah, Janet Jackson's a dope pick. Great pick. That was hilarious. Megan, it's time for your third pick. I'm going to...
Starting point is 01:15:17 This defies what I would have done ever, but the fact that you fools are going to let me have both of these women, I'm going to do it. Well, that was hard. Christina Aguilera. Oh, wow! I didn't want to pick her too close to Britney. I mean, that, she was, when it was the era of pop divas, when I was like a child, she was the one
Starting point is 01:15:37 that was like, we don't like her, but she can sing. Yeah, exactly. No one liked her the right amount. She went through so many phases and some of them weren't too public image-y. She's trash. She's very trashy. And when boys liked her over Britney, I was like, you're trash. I remember
Starting point is 01:15:52 liking a boy in middle school and finding out he was a Christina and not a Britney and I was like, nah, that's not my dude. That kid tried to grow a mustache too early. Because it's like, you just like that bedazzled thong that peeks out over and come on over. I can't
Starting point is 01:16:10 say that I wasn't that kid in middle school. I mean, that video, that and the What a Girl Wants video, I'm fucked out of town. You also tried to join the Crips, so it makes sense. Man, a lot of anything could happen. It's different in Sioux Falls.
Starting point is 01:16:25 You guys have never been there. You don't know what it's like. She's from Staten Island. I didn't know that until just now. But I think she grew up in Pittsburgh. But you kind of felt it. Oh, yeah. Mickey Mouse Club.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Yeah. Yeah. Oh, she did. You're 100% right, Gayle. Mickey Mouse Club, too. Timberlake. Wexford, Pennsylvania. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:41 But she's just, she just has the voice. That was the point that people. Yeah, she has a great voice. Everyone was like, Brittany, I like Brittany's songs better, but Christina Aguilera, she was like the actually she can sing. She can sing, yeah. They used Xtina to talk trash about Brittany. They're like, because she can at least actually sing.
Starting point is 01:16:58 And she does that Mulan song that's so beautiful. Oh, yeah. Which one? Who is that girl I see? True. Oh, yeah. Which one? Who is that girl I see? True, true, true. You guys just keep making me sing these songs. You're the only one that can sing it.
Starting point is 01:17:12 You're going to be like, what the fuck? That's 100% what I wanted to have happen. What were some slower Christina songs? Oh, she had... Slower songs? Yeah. She definitely had some ballads. There was like Dirty she had slower songs yeah she definitely had some ballads on because there was like dirty she had that beautiful song yeah oh um your way the love is gone there's a song
Starting point is 01:17:36 called love is gone you know that one i obviously i can't sing it but it's you know good she's also had like a career like she's not singing but then she's like on the voice yeah which is huge she's become a real professional yeah yeah a professional in the music industry had some kids man she sold 70.9 million albums yeah and she didn't like 50 worldwide 50 million never tipped off the deep end like never really fell over she never lost control. She has five Grammy Awards and one Latin Grammy. She did do a Spanish song.
Starting point is 01:18:11 She did, remember that? She's got a Latin Grammy. That'd be the first thing you saw when you walked into my house if I were Christina Aguilera. My fucking Latin Grammy. Genie in a Bottle is just an incredible first hit, too. It is. that was a good
Starting point is 01:18:26 song god what a bunch of good music that came out back then i'm happy that i was like 16 when all that was happening reminds me of fun stuff like before i drank or anything it's just like fun sober go-kart yeah aguilera was a big my hand hand is going to be where I'm singing person, right? Yeah. Like, her hand would go up with her voice. She was like, ooh, ooh, ooh. Like, it was taking the elevator with her. Do you remember Kelly Osbourne making fun of Christina Aguilera's Christmas album on the Osbourne? No. She was like, jingle bell.
Starting point is 01:18:59 And Ozzy fucking lost it. He's like, I've never seen Ozzy, like, laugh harder. She's like, that's right. He's like, I've never seen Ozzy laugh harder. That's right. She's terrible. They were sitting at Christmas dinner roasting Christina Aguilera. Damn. That's a bold move. It made it to air, too?
Starting point is 01:19:15 Oh, yeah. The Osbournes was great because it was before they knew. It was. You would see cameramen in the background. They would fight with their neighbors. They didn't have it. That's how reality TV should be. It was reality.
Starting point is 01:19:27 Yes. And you know what else? Nobody minded seeing the cameramen. Who cares? I don't care. As long as it's what's buck is going on, I don't care. Didn't Jack try to date or date Christina? I think maybe.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Wasn't that a big through line of the show is that he was always gunning for her? That would be a major win for fat dudes everywhere. He's weird. big like through line of the show is that he was always like gunning for her and like she came over one night or something yeah yeah see he's weird he got into MMA and shit well now he has MS doesn't he what and he got it from Christina Aguilera no he's weird he got it and then you said
Starting point is 01:19:58 M and I'm like you think he's weird because he has MS yeah he's kind of a weird what a weird why do you get these neurological diseases because he has MS? Yeah, he's kind of a weird... What a weird... What a terrible person. Why do you get these neurological diseases? Ugh, what a freak. No, he has MS. Oh, no. For sure.
Starting point is 01:20:08 Well, that, I feel, yeah. Well, we love you, Jack Osborne. Get better. That's definitely not what I'm sure... Get better! Be the first one to get better. Oh, he's smoking weed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:18 I know that's not something you get better from, but I do want him to get better. Yeah. Man, what a dark twist this took. Oh. Sorry. Turns out I hate Jack Osborne. But I do want them to get better. Man, what a dark twist this took. Sorry. Turns out I hate Jack Osborne. Yeah, Christina is dope. She is definitely.
Starting point is 01:20:35 I can't wait to charge my phone and get into this Tiffany situation. You got to jump on. I don't know. You need to charge your phone. I think it's just one four-minute song. Yeah. No, I need to charge my phone. That's not a lot. I got to get up there
Starting point is 01:20:45 all right so christina aguilera good pick yeah hell yeah it's time for my third pick i might have to go i might have to go with one of the gods i might have so many gods on the table there's so many realizing aretha franklin yeah i don't know any of her songs, but I've heard her referred to. You know what I like? I like newest era. I like A Rose is Still a Rose. By Aretha Franklin?
Starting point is 01:21:12 Yeah. That was like 2001. Aretha was Rescue Me, right? Yeah. And R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Dude, she's got pipes. Aretha's got pipes. Her name's Aretha, which is crazy.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Yeah. Sounds like Aretha. We're all thinking it. She used to have a rag on stage because she gets sweaty. I love that. That's the show I want to see. I love a big, fat lady. I do.
Starting point is 01:21:35 Big fat lady will sing better. I love a big, fat lady who will tear into it. Just tears it open. She is great. Chain of fools. Dude, it's so good. You make me feel. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:49 You make me feel. Written by a different diva. It is. Who wrote that? No, we can't say it. But Aretha tore into it. Yeah, she ate it. Ate that burrito sideways.
Starting point is 01:21:59 Yeah. Ate my corn on the cob. People passed around songs like crazy back then. But yeah, Chain of Fools is such a cut. No, she's hip. Dude, I just also love her behavior. She's always walking around wearing fur. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:15 You know? Yep. You know Obama loves her. Obama loves her. Oh, yeah. They just go to the Kennedy Center now and dance on the empty stage. God, I hope they do. That would be amazing.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Could you walk in the janitor? Just walk into one of the rooms to clean it, and it's Obama and Aretha Franklin. Wherever she is, that's like the place to be, too. Come on, baby! Nobody ever left a Grammy's after party like, oh, yeah, Aretha Franklin was in there, but I took off. She has 112 charted singles on the Billboard. What did you say?
Starting point is 01:22:44 She has 112 singles that charted on the billboard. 17 top 10. God, she's just a god. Yeah. Yeah. That's bananas. Yeah. I don't have a lot else to say about her.
Starting point is 01:22:57 No, that's a great pick. Yeah. That's a great pick. Other than just I had to get her off the board. It didn't feel right. I mean, maybe the original diva. I think she kind of was. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:04 The way we think about divas right now, I'll go back to Aretha Franklin. Yes. Being just a monster and everyone letting her get away with it. Pipes. She's a big fat lady who can sing. Pipes, pipes, pipes. Yeah. Pipes Franklin.
Starting point is 01:23:16 So I'm going that with my third pick. Sure, sure, sure. Shout out to Aretha. Hey, Aretha. And now. We hear you. I have to. So I'm going head to heart, head to heart.
Starting point is 01:23:26 Now I have to reach beyond the grave. Oh shit. To pick Amy Winehouse. Yeah. That's my fourth pick. It's so good. The tracks with her and Ghostface are super cool. They're so good. She was fucking rad. Do you think
Starting point is 01:23:41 before her time maybe a little bit? Either before or after or just not the right time transcended time i think she's i think there's always a time for an amy winehouse yeah yeah we always need a real good good like growl yeah she got yeah like she's got pipes but she's dark yeah yeah yeah that song uh back back to black? Yeah, Back to Black is so good. Yeah. And it's right in my range part of it, so I'll sing it. Also, when you hear her sing No Good live, that's so good.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Yeah, she was so good live. She was so good. Just trashy and damaged. And I mean, R.I.P. It sucks that all that stuff happened, of course, but it just makes it such a compelling figure. Just a compelling figure when you hear these. She had weird issues with her dad. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:28 Really great Halloween costume. Oh, I bet. There were like three years where everyone I knew was an Amy Winehouse. Drawn shoe horses. The beehive. It's like the beehive and I can get hammered? Well, yeah, I'll dress up like that for Halloween.
Starting point is 01:24:41 You mean this can be part of my costume? All this alcohol? Yes. And then everybody got to put the mole on? I believe Jew, which is big for me. British? Which is big for me. British.
Starting point is 01:24:52 Jewish? Jewish. Big time Jew. Yeah. Okay. Her father, Mitchell Winehouse. Now, if I've ever heard a Jewish name, that is right there.
Starting point is 01:25:04 Mitchell Winehouse. Mitchell Winehouse Mitchell Winehouse what's that song Rehab Rehab yeah Rehab fucking amazing and then
Starting point is 01:25:12 Jay Z on the remix that was what she came out with right was Rehab wasn't that like no I'm No Good was the first one I also love Valerie
Starting point is 01:25:20 oh yeah which is a cover but like she does an amazing I don't even know Valerie she would be she would be she would be killing it right now
Starting point is 01:25:27 yeah if Amy Winehouse it's fun I'll look it up yeah yeah yes she would be absolutely if anyone
Starting point is 01:25:33 who's passed I think what am I trying to say she might be killing it the most out of anyone who's passed who we lost too early recently yeah she
Starting point is 01:25:40 she had a lot to show us she just didn't give a fuck I wish she just would have. How old was she when she died? 27. She was part of the 27 Club. Can you imagine? You know Kurt Cobain would have been 50 two days ago?
Starting point is 01:25:50 Yeah. Yeah. Fucking crazy. He would have been lame. No, he wouldn't have. I'm just kidding. No, yeah, he probably would have been. I think that Tupac would have been lame.
Starting point is 01:26:00 He would have been like my mom's age. He would have been a little Will Smith, right? Yeah. Oh, we got a big-ass Brita filter. That's what he's into. He's fucking 50. Now, before we continue on with the draft, we have to shout out to one of our sponsors. Tiffany.
Starting point is 01:26:14 Oh, shit. Today's episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by our good friends at Squarespace. Make your next move with Squarespace. Whether you're creating a website to sell the jam you make by hand, or to sell second-hand shiny puffy suits, like from the Puff Daddy and Mace video, why not use Squarespace's award-winning designer templates to make that website? I used it myself to make my website. You've heard me say this before.
Starting point is 01:26:47 Look, I'll drop the charade. Yeah. Yeah, it was my ex-girlfriend. It was my ex-girlfriend who made the website. It was, you know. And it would be easy for me to talk trash about the website because she left. She's gone.
Starting point is 01:27:01 You know. You know it's still there, though. It's that website. Because Squarespace never left. Squarespace wouldn't leave you like that. And you know why? Because they have an award winning 24-7 customer service platform. If you're having a problem somehow with your Squarespace site, which I don't see happening candidly between the two of us.
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Starting point is 01:28:07 You know, even once you've moved on and you're happy, and I am, you know, I am happy. Because now I'm in a good relationship and I still have this website that works. And I'm not mad. We're friends, actually. If we're being 100% honest, we're friends. So start your free trial today at squarespace.com and enter the offer code all fantasy to get 10 off your first purchase again go to squarespace.com and enter offer code all fantasy to get 10 10 off your first purchase all right let's get back to the episode i'm going i'm going down i'm spiraling
Starting point is 01:28:42 i'm spiraling. I'm spiraling. All right. Thanks again to our sponsor, Squarespace. Make sure you check out Squarespace. Sorry about that emotional break. Sorry. Sorry about that emotional breakdown that I had during the year. My Squarespace website was made by a female as well. We're still together.
Starting point is 01:29:03 Oh, a female. Your girlfriend.'re still together. Yeah. Oh, a female. Your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my girlfriend. Yeah. Mine. Well, you guys heard me out. And I just made my fourth pick with Amy Winehouse, another woman who left.
Starting point is 01:29:18 Megan, Gailey, it is time for your fourth pick. You know she's a true diva because she just has one name, Adele. Okay. That's pretty good. Yep. Whoa, that was also very good. Thank you very much. I wasn't ready for it.
Starting point is 01:29:32 Every time I hear the word Adele, again, I get a little bit of that in me. I wasn't going to pick her. She's not even on my list. Yeah. But it's like. You made the right move. She's referenced in every, like, almost every single person we've talked about. Yes.
Starting point is 01:29:44 She comes up. She is a true icon. Her songs, her concerts, she's just a voice. She, like, makes people, like, want to do their eye makeup that way. Everybody's like, I'm plump. Everyone's thrilled. She's fucking so dope. She came back, too.
Starting point is 01:30:01 Yeah. When she was gone for a minute and you're just like, hello. She went to go have a kid. She was so famous and respected that she was just like, I'm going to fuck off for a couple of years and I'll come back and you'll love me. Her first song, Chasing Pavements, is incredible. And then, I mean, Rolling in the Deep is probably one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time. It's so good.
Starting point is 01:30:21 Yeah. That song, my mom took time out of her day to call me, and she goes, have you heard this song, Roland Aviv? I was like, mom, if you've heard of a song,
Starting point is 01:30:30 then I've heard of this song. But she took the time out of her day to let me know how dope it was. Shout out to Saint, Kelly Jordan. Shout out to Sue Carmel. She's also like business-savvy. She does shit that's cool.
Starting point is 01:30:40 Yeah. I didn't even know. She like drops all of her music. Her and Beyonce, they like defy reason. It's like a very Louis C.K. thing. They're just like, here it is. Take it. So great.
Starting point is 01:30:51 Yeah. Not like, not sprinkling singles on the way up to it. So great. Yeah. She's fucking, she seems like such a fun hang too. She seems so cool. Yeah. She does seem really cool.
Starting point is 01:31:00 Carpool, the carpool karaoke she did. Sure. With my boss and friend. Jimmy Podcast. Jimmy. Heard of the podcast, Jimmy Chords. carpool the carpool karaoke she did sure with my boss and friend jimmy podcast jimmy cords jimmy cords jimmy crack cordon uh is she look she's so fun in it she just seems so fun like she'd be really fun i saw there's like a 50 minute version of it because there was so much good stuff that it hasn't been released to the world but like yeah yeah i watched it i remember we got back from a shoot and like producers are watching I was like I want to watch this whole thing I mean she's so charming it's just such a good voice one of the best singers on the planet not even like exaggerating
Starting point is 01:31:34 she just is and then also fun yeah fucking jackpot and has like a cockney speaking voice yeah I like people who talk trashy. Yeah. Sorry. When she restarted that song. Wait, we have to acknowledge. What'd you say? I didn't say anything.
Starting point is 01:31:57 Nothing came out. He said, sorry. I didn't think we were going to slam on the brakes after that. I thought we were going to keep rolling. It's very funny to not even say a word in an accent and just make a noise in an accent. That's us playing a pool game where I made the eight ball in the wrong pocket and you're mad at me. That's what I would say. What are you going to call the eight ball?
Starting point is 01:32:16 Oh, the eight ball. Yeah. She's great. When she restarted that song at the Grammys, I thought that was so endearing. That is a fucking gangster move. She did the same thing at rehearsal for the Grammys I thought that was so endearing she did the same thing at rehearsal for the Grammys where like there was a sound mix I might get in a lot of trouble for saying this
Starting point is 01:32:31 yeah I don't know if you should say it well actually I'm saying it I heard she did the same thing at the Grammys Sean why did you mimic my voice I don't think anyone would mind me saying this there was like a slight sound mix up at the Grammys whatever fuck it man fuck I'm ready to die i'm ready to die i made peace with god a while
Starting point is 01:32:50 ago whatever i really don't care and there was a slight mix-up and she was so charming and cool about it you know and was like like she just seems like such a cool, nice person. And again, because she performed twice, and it was during the George Michael tribute, which I love that song, Fast Love, by George Michael. And like, her cover of it was fucking ill, too. It was amazing. During dress rehearsal, I got to see the Grammys. I'm going to brag about it. I'd be talking about it a bit.
Starting point is 01:33:21 We got to, because we, where the writers were stationed during dress rehearsal was right by the middle stage, where she opened by singing hello. So I was like five feet from her when she sang hello. That voice is for real. I bet you feel it like in your belly, like in the bottom of your stomach. Yeah, you do. Like if you're about to get in a fight or something, like that part. It is.
Starting point is 01:33:38 It's down there. It's that part you can't access except when there's a very real moment happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She is just fucking so rad. You're making me feel so good about my pick. It was a great pick. It was a great pick. I almost went with that instead of Winehouse, and maybe I should have, but
Starting point is 01:33:53 that Jew thing. Even though Adele is a Jewish name. That Jew thing. I had a boobie named Adele. Sean, it's time for your fourth pick. Alright. The third pick. This might be my weird one but it's this is coming from the heart i think you guys are gonna be into it but we're going pat benatar on this one that's great i don't know why i thought you were gonna say avril
Starting point is 01:34:16 is pat benatar a pop diva i mean oh come on. Okay, okay. Love is a battlefield. All right. I'm just raising questions that I feel like our listeners will also be wondering about. I felt like this question was going to be and should be raised. Yeah. So I looked up Definition Diva today, and it's basically just a female who sings popular music, is what it says. And the pop part of it is just short for popular, and I really think Pat Benatar had like a decade nailed with popular music we belong love is a battlefield hit me with your best shot heartbreaker i mean oh she did we belong
Starting point is 01:34:53 too yeah there are so many bangers i love that song yeah and it's like it's like she made karaoke for people 20 years from when she was writing those songs. Which is what musicians want. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Listen, Pat. I'm with you. Young Pat. She's a mezzo-soprano. She, yeah, Pat Benatar was dope. Yeah, fantastic.
Starting point is 01:35:18 Another one of my Uncle Joe's all-time favorite women, Celine Dion and Pat Benatar. I just wanted to make sure they both made the list. If you're listening in Modesto, here you go. Hey, Celine Dion and Pat Benatar. So I just wanted to make sure they both made the list. Good. Shout out to Joe. If you're listening in Modesto, here you go. Hey, Joe.
Starting point is 01:35:28 Oh, Modesto. She was the first female artist to play on MTV. Whoa. Yeah, wasn't it the first video? I thought the first one. No, Video Killed the Radio Star. Oh, all right. I made up shit.
Starting point is 01:35:40 For some reason, I thought that was the first. Well, all right. Her real name, Patricia Mae Andrzejewski. What? Andrzejewski. Where's Benatar come from, I wonder? She married a man named Dennis Benatar. No.
Starting point is 01:35:55 And they divorced in 1978, after which she married Neil Giraldo. Oh, she didn't take Giraldo? To whom she... Pat Giraldo? Pat Giraldo. Patricia Giraldo. They're she didn't take Giraldo? Pat Giraldo. Pat Giraldo. Patricia Giraldo. They're not married anymore. Benatar.
Starting point is 01:36:09 Benatar was a way doper last name than Andrew Zajewski. Andrew Zajewski. Yeah, it is. Yeah, Benatar. Benatar's a good name. She's dope. She feels real New Yorky to me, which makes sense. She's from New York.
Starting point is 01:36:20 But she just feels like getting punched in the mouth. Yeah, it's gritty. Yeah. She just gets a song and grabs a hold of it yeah you know like uh all of all of her bangers are just super dope belt them out songs yeah and she's toured with ariel speedwagon sorry when there's people that don't have hard opinions about it just cruise the wikipedia a little bit i'm okay with that yeah we don't need hard opinions about it, just cruise the Wikipedia a little bit. I'm okay with that. We don't need hard opinions.
Starting point is 01:36:46 Do they sing Sister Christian? Yeah. Do you think she ever sang Sister Christian? Oh, wow. I would love to. I would watch that. Night Ranger sang Sister Christian. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:55 That's what I meant to say. Not R.L. Speedwagon. Okay. I knew it as soon as he said it. I was like, Sister... That's not the point. Turns out...
Starting point is 01:37:03 I'm like the Eagles, Chicago. I'm like, they're all the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been such a long time. All these bands, and they were also sticks. Yeah. What the fuck did R&L Speedwagon sing then? Love Hurts, right?
Starting point is 01:37:18 Didn't they sing Love Hurts? Love Hurts, that one. Days to Confuse. And what was the best friend song? Some slow jam. You got one. Yeah, she said. That was already a speed wanking.
Starting point is 01:37:31 No, like your friends cheat or some shit. I don't know. Oh, Jessie's Girl. No, that was. You might as well have played all these fucking songs. Apparently they had some song called Can't Fight This Feeling. Can't fight this feeling anymore. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:37:49 I forgot what I started fighting for. Yeah. That song seems to have been made only for commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was for somebody who hasn't had like, they haven't had like a white chocolate
Starting point is 01:38:03 Nestle Crunch bar in a while. Yeah. I almost bought one today at Vons like a white chocolate Nestle Crunch bar in a while. Yeah. I almost bought one today at Vons. They had white Nestle Crunch rabbits in the grocery store coming up for Easter.
Starting point is 01:38:12 That's more of a G-Easter kind of thing like a G-Easter when you get the white chocolate. By the way, you're welcome for killing Christ so you could have
Starting point is 01:38:17 your fun little holiday. That's an interesting take on that. Uh-huh. A little gratitude. I've never heard it. I've never heard it. I've never heard it. Maybe a little gratitude.
Starting point is 01:38:26 What about big ideas over here? Everyone's mad at us for being Christ killers, like he wasn't going to die eventually anyway. And by the way, we killed him and you got Christmas and Easter. Just a little gratitude. Thanks, man. I think we were going to get Christmas. Yeah, but if he would have died of old age, it wouldn't have been spectacular. Oh, and his dad knew.
Starting point is 01:38:42 I mean, if anything, God was just like, I told you that they were going to do this. Yeah. Told you not to hang out over there. And we didn't really kill him because nobody ever dies every morning. Right. He rose. We're all here forever. So we got that to look pretty good.
Starting point is 01:38:55 I realize that this is what the fans came here for. Just next time you chew it on a fucking jelly bean. You know. Chew jelly beans? Oh, yeah. You do eat those on Easter. Yeah, they come in a little. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:04 Cadbury cream egg. I can't fuck with. Oh, the Reese's egg. those on Easter. Yeah, they come in a little. Yeah. Cadbury cream egg. I can't fuck with. Oh, the Reese's egg. Yeah, I can't fuck with the Cadbury. Why? Even the ones that are just straight caramel? It's just a lot. It's a lot.
Starting point is 01:39:13 Yeah, yeah. But so you're saying you don't like it or it's just a lot. You never been high on Easter? Oh, I have now. I actually don't know. I don't know. I've got a ham. I'm probably so full of ham.
Starting point is 01:39:24 I've been high most Sundays. I assume an Easter snuck in. If Easter's going to be on a Sunday this year like it usually is, then I'll probably be high. I'll probably be in pretty stony baloney. David Borey. Oh, my turn? You've picked Tiffany, Dean Howard, and Rihanna, and it is time. What a fucking list.
Starting point is 01:39:42 I feel like I'm just assembling a street gang. It's an effective street gang. It is. I feel like I'm just assembling a street gang. It's an effective street gang. That's what I mean. Oh, you know who I'm going out with? Also one name. Also could beat you up. Madonna. I can't believe she went this late. I am a huge
Starting point is 01:39:57 I am a huge In true diva form, she would be very upset. Papa Don't Preach is one of my favorite videos. Oh, yeah. Is that the one with that wrestler in it no yeah yeah yeah yeah no no no no uh that's oh no never mind i'm thinking yeah artists in the opera yeah but similar similar kitchen dad yeah there's a kitchen in the dad okay that's what i don't preach also she's wearing that shirt that says italians do it better yeah which is pretty funny. Lucky Star. Like a Prayer.
Starting point is 01:40:26 Borderline. Like a Prayer. Material Girl. La Isla Bonita. Oh, man. Even later era. La Isla Bonita is like, that's my song. La Isla Bonita.
Starting point is 01:40:35 Lucky Star for me and time. Yeah. And when the sun don't rain, the sun would set so high. Ring through my ears. Sting my eyes. Spanish lullaby That was quite That's how they put That's how Spanish kids
Starting point is 01:40:52 Go to sleep Yeah That's how Spanish kids Go to sleep Listen to that dope ass Your rendition of that song I'll make you wild and free And then
Starting point is 01:41:01 And then I come in When their parents It's Spanish lullaby It's Spanish lullaby it's Spanish lullaby then I crip walk out of the room and they drift off to sleep
Starting point is 01:41:07 every night I didn't care about Madonna at all I was just like this bitch does not matter to me and then I saw her I was at the Super Bowl
Starting point is 01:41:15 that she did the halftime show you were at the Super Bowl you've been to a Super Bowl was that the one in Indianapolis yeah of course my parents weren't
Starting point is 01:41:23 taking me out of the city yeah to the Super Bowl that's crazy they were like we can go to the one in Indianapolis? Yeah, of course. My parents weren't taking me out of the city. Yeah, to the Super Bowl. That's crazy. They were like, we can go to the one here where the corn ends, and you'll see Madonna ride out on a dragon. Is that a real place? Just go down to where the corn ends. No, because the corn doesn't end.
Starting point is 01:41:39 It goes all the way to Colorado, where it dies a cold death. It never ends. Never. It dies a dies a cold death. The corn never ends. Never. It dies a chilly, alone death. The point is, I love Madonna. Can't dance, we're shit. No, not a great dancer. But I like watching her try.
Starting point is 01:41:56 She can, she had some, no. Ray of Light? Most. I like Ray of Light. Yeah, she's doing that. That's my least favorite Madonna is Ray of Light. Listen to it again. I love, Light. Yeah, she's doing that. That's my least favorite Madonna is Ray of Lodge. Listen to it again. I love, really?
Starting point is 01:42:07 Yeah. I just feel like that was when everybody's wearing those stupid fucking cowboy hats. Yeah, the video's stupid. Yeah. But the song is okay. I'll listen to the song again. And to close this out, I've referenced her several times on the podcast.
Starting point is 01:42:23 Yeah. Who would I be?ary j blige the queen of hip-hop just if you ever wanna man she just tries so hard she makes me hate men yeah like i listen to her like that what's that song oh i want to be with you when she had like not had it because it was like i feel like originally there's like, what's the four one, one marriage. A Vlade,
Starting point is 01:42:47 which is really fun. I'm looking for real love. Oh, we're all having a good time. Such a good one. Yeah. But then waiting to exhale drops. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:54 Now we got not going to cry. Right. And that's who we are. But then she comes back with hateration in the dancery. She's doing good now, but then I'll be waiting up until you get home you know what I'm talking about that song
Starting point is 01:43:08 you remember that song that song in my heart I feel it so much a woman with a facial scar is hot a woman and with big glasses and she's just like man she can't she made that business with that guy.
Starting point is 01:43:25 He just fucking left her. 11 years of sacrifice. What happened? And not gonna cry. He left. She was his love writer and his secretary. Oh. Working every day of the week.
Starting point is 01:43:37 Was at the job when no one else was there helping him get on his feet. Yeah. You guys gotta see Waiting to Exhale. Because that song is just the plot of that movie. I've seen Waiting to Exhale. Yeah, that song's just the plot of that movie Yeah with Taye Diggs Yeah It's Taye Diggs?
Starting point is 01:43:48 No no no no no no no That's how Stella got her roof back That's Whitney Oh Waiting to Exhale is Your girl Whitney Houston Angela Bassett Robin Givens
Starting point is 01:43:57 Yeah Okay Yeah Hateration Toleration in this dancery Always confounded me as a youth Nobody knew what was going on No
Starting point is 01:44:04 Were those slang words? No she just did that That was all on Nobody was saying hateration Or danceration Dancery is so much crazier than Hateration and holleration I can understand hateration and holleration
Starting point is 01:44:21 Dancery? Dancery? Like a dancery? Like a nursery? I think it's like she was in this dancery. So it's like the dance hall is the dancery. Were people calling dance halls danceries? And they're eating ice cream.
Starting point is 01:44:37 It's an ice creamery. Yeah. I mean, you're right. You're definitely right. Yeah. Sure. That was a one song trend. Oh, the dancer?
Starting point is 01:44:45 Nobody else was like, we're going to – so we say dancer-y now. Nobody picked up the baton. No. Hey, you guys want to go to the dancer-y? Stop saying that. Shut up. You're not Mary J. Lodge. Shut up, Paul.
Starting point is 01:44:55 Very respected by all gamers, too. Oh, universally. Yes. Everybody defers to Mary Mary. Yes. Her voice, like, she has a great voice. I just feel her songs, man. Entourage cameo? Entourage cameo.
Starting point is 01:45:06 Entourage cameo. And I feel like we're a couple years away, and then she's gonna have another huge... 100%. Yes. Rebirth. I think she'll do that for the rest of her life. Oh, yeah. Because all her songs are about, like, the triumph of love. Like, it's
Starting point is 01:45:21 bad. I'm... Give me the gun. I'll put it in my trunk because I love you. She may assassinate Trump. Oh, I would love that. Yo! It was right in front of us the whole time.
Starting point is 01:45:38 Get out of here. She'll let Mike Pence run away. He would too. He'd walk backwards. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think Damon Dash is going to pay her $100 million. Wearing a pair of shoes that he's only worn once. He only wears shoes once.
Starting point is 01:45:51 She'll go to Nicaragua until it's chilled out and all the evidence against Trump was revealed and it was like, oh, she was a hero. Oh, look at that. And then she'll come back and probably write a great song about it. About the whole situation. I've never known what dude she was talking about. I don't think she's ever been with a famous, famous dude. I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:46:06 She's going to have a musical about her someday. She's going to have one of those biopic musicals. Oh, yeah. I could see that. Set to her life, all of her songs. Because I always feel right. She's got a do-nothing man who just still works at Grease Monkey. I feel like she's dating a cooler version of me.
Starting point is 01:46:23 Like the coolest me like yeah he's just a stand-up comic and he sleeps on my couch there isn't a cooler version of you no you're the coolest version you're the best you're the coolest one is dating mary j should be are you you're dating mary j blatch this is how you tell us this is i didn't want to all right he's downstairs drinking uh that almond milk that you were so fond of? I was going to tell Bossup.com first. A Bossup exclusive. Cutty Sark. That's my last.
Starting point is 01:46:53 Yeah. And also I think she'd drink Cutty Sark with me. I bet she would. I'm sure she was drinking Cutty Sark when you were like four. Excellent. That excellent pick to round off the draft. I feel good about my team. It's an interesting team. It's an interesting team. Mary J. Blush. They've good about my team. Mary J. Blush.
Starting point is 01:47:07 It's an interesting team. Mary J. Blush. They've never hung out together. Mary J. Blush. Mary J. Blush. Blush. Mary J. Blush. Mary J. Blush. Sean Jordan to build on the success of your Pat Benatar pick.
Starting point is 01:47:17 Right. Where are you going last? Where are you landing your plan? Last is going to be Cher. Oh, no! No! Fuck! No, no, no!
Starting point is 01:47:26 Do you believe in love? I couldn't believe it. I can't believe I fucking didn't pick her. That's the first concert I ever went to. I'm so upset with myself. Really? First time I ever smelled weed. On my phone, I missed Madonna.
Starting point is 01:47:40 And when it got picked, I'm like, you fucking idiot. So I just went through. I was not going to pick Cher. And I was like, nobody's picked her. So through I was not going to pick Cher and I was like nobody's picked her so yeah I fucking turned back time I love that song I hate to keep making this about like
Starting point is 01:47:53 how we felt as like how I felt as like a young man seeing this that's not what I'm shooting for but that video was just astonishing to me what she was wearing in that video oh she was wearing the high waisted and she was like in a leather jacket right yeah she was wearing the high-waisted in the leather jacket, right? Yeah, and it was like sitting on a cannon. It was just insane.
Starting point is 01:48:10 The ship, and her son was playing electric guitar. Yeah. Sherilyn, real name, Sherilyn Sarkeesian. Really? Yeah. That sounds like another time of Cuddy song. Gypsies, tramps, and thieves. Gypsies and tramps and thieves, that's a good song.
Starting point is 01:48:24 I got you babe She's been in movies that I actually like Like Little Mermaids and Mask I like both those movies Mask was fucked She's a good actress She won a fucking Academy Award Oh and they always rip her
Starting point is 01:48:39 And that is some diva shit When you can win an Oscar People do rip her Because she dresses weird And that is some diva shit when you can win an Oscar. Yeah. People do rip her. Fuck, why? Why the fuck are we here? Because she dresses weird. Yeah. But she's like, this is how I dress.
Starting point is 01:48:50 Wait until I get a taste of this money. I love how weird she is. Only Cher knows what it's like to be Cher. True story. So does she dress weird or does she dress normal for Cher? No, she dresses perfect. I'm saying. We don't know what it's like to be Cher sitting here in our ivory towers.
Starting point is 01:49:02 I'd love to know what it's like to be Cher. I can't even understand what it's like to be Cher. Oh, our ivory towers. I'd love to know what it's like to be Cher. I can't even understand what you're saying. Ivory. Oh, yeah. That's all I ever heard. What were some other – what were like after Turn Back Time but like before? Will you tell us, guy? You picked her.
Starting point is 01:49:12 Love after love. I'm just seeing it. I'm just fucking – So I'm just feeling it right now. Love after love. What's before that? Give me something before that because I was struggling. Well, Believe was a big comeback for her.
Starting point is 01:49:22 Yeah. Yeah, I was struggling. I saw her at the Believe – I've seen her twice in concert. And once Cyndi Lauper opened for her and once a magician did. How was that? Oh, it was... They actually fight for spots a lot,
Starting point is 01:49:34 Cyndi Lauper and that magician. Cyndi Lauper and Tiffany fighting for who gets to open for her. It was like... I mean, the first time I saw her, it was the first time I'd ever smelled weed. There were these two gay dudes in front of us smoking weed and my mom was like you smell that?
Starting point is 01:49:47 and I'm like yeah and she goes whenever you smell that run in the other direction and then Cyndi Lauper came out like just wanna have fun and I was like what the fuck is happening but then Cher just like descended from the heavens she's incredible I believed you until you said that there were two gay dudes
Starting point is 01:50:04 at the concert. Just sounds a little suspect. At the Cher concert. At the Cher and Cyndi Lauper double bill. Living their best life. Man. What a fun concert. If I was gay at a Cher concert, I would get it in. God, what a time.
Starting point is 01:50:19 Talk about get your molly on. She's not in Vegas anymore, is she? No. She was in Vegas for us. She'll be back. Sue Carmel's a big Cher fan. Shout out to Sue Carmel. Sue Carmel. Saint.
Starting point is 01:50:30 There wasn't a lot before, I believe, because she was like, that's when Sonny died and she was on a directing and stuff. Yeah, I was thinking about that today. There was a sex change. Oh, chastity. Chastity. I mean, I've always made fun of Sonny Bodo. I was always like, that's a dick move.
Starting point is 01:50:45 Yeah. Yeah, I agree. It is. It's kind of funny the way he died, but still. Where they crashed into a tree while skiing. All the Kennedys died that way. Yeah. No one fucking rags on them.
Starting point is 01:50:56 I guess some of them got murdered. Yeah, I was like. It's no funnier than somebody getting drunk and falling out of a window. Of course, the famous way the Kennedys died. Crashing into a tree while skiing. Or murder. Or plane crashes. Not the plane crash. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:11 She was weird. Didn't she marry that she married that that bakery guy for a while? She married a baker? She had like some ratchet times where she was living in like New York and married She was definitely in an infomercial like early in infomercial days. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:28 Because everybody made fun of her for it. She maybe didn't marry him, but Rob Cameletti, an 18 years younger bagel baker. Oh. What? She dated for three years. Yeah, you know, I just opened up this bagel shop. She had a bagel baker in it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:40 Come on down to Cameletti's. We'll get you a bagel. Dude, Cher did. Cher was fucking slaying it. I put all the holes into myself. Hey. Cher was fucking. Cher fucked Primetime Val Kilmer.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Cool. Primetime Eric Stoltz. Nice. Primetime Tom Cruise. Get it. What? A hockey player named Ron Duguay. Richie Sambora.
Starting point is 01:51:57 Richie Sambora. Richard. And then this bagel baker. You know what bugs me about her fucking Eric Stoltz is that Eric Stoltz played her son in a movie. Yeah. So that's weird to me isn't that weird? I think that happens a lot
Starting point is 01:52:08 really? probably vice versa a lot of the vice versa cause they're just like oh you're 32 you're the mom now and the kid's like but I'm 30 and they're like well just fuck when the camera's off whoa you just broke it down so I'm like I just saw Home Alone yesterday so I was trying to fit it
Starting point is 01:52:24 O'Hara fucks him it doesn't fit I just saw Home Alone yesterday, so I was trying to fit it. O'Hara fucks him. It doesn't fit. Catherine O'Hara and Macaulay. Cher also had a very wildly, wildly successful TV show. Sonny and Cher was a huge, huge TV show. And she had chops. It was funny.
Starting point is 01:52:40 It was like laughing, right? It was like a variety show. I think she's still funny. She's funny on Twitter. She's very interesting on Twitter. She tweeted the other day, Mike Pence is a bitch, and she spelled everything wrong. Those aren't even hard words. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:52:55 Spells it with a Y in there. Just Mike with a three instead of an E? Oh, okay, Cher. You're a Latina teen. Yeah, she's great on there. So sure yeah sure i love it great pick thank you solid my she spurned also my favorite bit that i've ever written what's called musical shares we did it on like the second week of the late late show it was exactly what it sounds like musical chairs with everybody dressed up like share sure it was like tig mataro dressed like
Starting point is 01:53:23 share and james corden and somebody else nathan corddry i think it was weird and they were all With everybody dressed up like Cher. It was like Tig Notaro dressed like Cher and James Corden. And somebody else, Nathan Corddry. It was weird. And they were all dressed like Cher. What a silly group. That is what, shit, that's fun though. What's supposed to do. Play musical chairs at home.
Starting point is 01:53:36 Yeah. Get a leather jacket. It's a good Halloween party for a theme. I think my roommates would be down. Yeah, get a Gene Simmons wig and do your thing. All right, Megan Gailey, it is time for your final pick. This is so hard because I have one. It's someone that I want to be recognized. I'm just going to do it.
Starting point is 01:53:56 I agree. She deserves to be recognized. She is so fucking talented. She goes so unnoticed. She gave, I think, the number one Grammys performance I've ever seen. Pink. Pink! I was thinking about Pink earlier!
Starting point is 01:54:11 We found out what we were doing today. We were talking about Pink earlier. Pink is... Isn't her live show supposed to be incredible? Yes. What is going on with Pink? Pink seems like a one of one. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:54:27 Do you remember when she first started, though, and she was all rap out? Yeah. Yes. I don't want a man with a ching ching. Yeah. That, yeah. Yeah. I mean, she has that song about how Hollywood, you're too, they wanted her to lose weight.
Starting point is 01:54:41 They just were like, ooh, we don't know what to do with you. And they still don't, definitely. They don't. That's why she's not as successful. That bitch can sing. That bitch can perform. She married a BMX driver. Divorced him and then remarried him. Oh, they got remarried?
Starting point is 01:54:55 Yes. Carrie Hart. That's a diva move. Oh, the tattoo guy. I want out for a while, but I'm going to want back in, so don't go anywhere. And her songs are great. Her songs are really like... It's like get buck pop music. It is. Tapato from Shop.
Starting point is 01:55:11 So what? I got my fuck you. That song is so good. I'm going to fuck you. Right? Don't let me get me, dude. Yeah. Yeah, all her songs are good.
Starting point is 01:55:24 But that one is so good. But she's such a confusing person to me. I don't know. Because she's doing her thing. Yeah. She's definitely doing pink. Who are you? Who am I supposed to?
Starting point is 01:55:36 What is supposed to have gotten me to you? Well, initially. If she's an island in the middle of the lake, what are the stepping stones? Is it Christina Aguilera? Oh, I don't know. She feels like an animal that has evolved from no... I think they thought black people were going to like her more than... Is that what it was?
Starting point is 01:55:54 I think so, too. And then they had to scramble a chance. Because the first video was, like, kind of an R&B video, but also they were skateboarding and everybody's like... They were. But she also said she doesn't want a man with a bling bling. And she had pink hair, which is, like like a way more black people thing than a white girl thing my mom has had red hair a bunch of times but like red like clifford red she her whole
Starting point is 01:56:12 aesthetic is kind of like black girl like a black that's a weird thing it sounds so awful but like that specific haircut i feel like I've only really ever seen. Oh, that's like a white lady who liked black guys' haircuts. Yeah, that totally is, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Come on.
Starting point is 01:56:31 You know exactly. Oh, oh, oh. That's exactly what it is. Let's all clutch our pearls up here. That's the haircut of a woman with, like, a mixed kid. Yes, 100%. Yes. She wears striped, tight shirts to work.
Starting point is 01:56:45 Yeah. No, yes. She has three hoop earrings, and she listens to Erykah Badu when I watch her. She would have picked Mary J. Blige first round. Yeah. She would have picked Mary J. first because she knows what she's going for. When Pink came out, I know I just – you're talking about like almost every girl that I grew up with. I mean like I know.
Starting point is 01:57:02 Oh, that. It's just – it really hit a chord. It was hilarious. Pink came out. Who decided on that hairstyle? How did that become that? I got a list of, like, 30 girls that I know that I think were in the tribunal. Pink came out in a weird time in music when, like, there wasn't, she didn't really fit into anything.
Starting point is 01:57:18 No. No. Because she was just doing a bunch of different shit. And it was, like, the late 90s, right? So. Yeah. Everybody was just figuring weird stuff out about the like clothes were weird it there wasn't really like they made her name be
Starting point is 01:57:29 pink too i know with an upside down exclamation you know what they didn't because i'm reading up on her name is uh alicia beth moore okay right. I think that's a pretty name, Alicia Moore. She adopted the name Pink from the Reservoir Dogs movie. Oh, really? From Mr. Pink. From Buscemi? Yeah. Why do I got to be Mr. Pink?
Starting point is 01:57:56 Wow. Pink. She had had the nickname for quite some time by that point. And initially, it had been like a mean thing. She thought it was like a mean thing. point and initially it had been like a mean thing she thought it was like a mean thing uh and she went from a skateboarder to hip-hopper to rave child to lead singer in a band those are the 90s right there yeah she was convinced to audition to be a member of a of a girl group called basic instinct and she got in and then they disbanded without releasing any
Starting point is 01:58:21 material and at 16 pink and two other girls formed another R&B group called Choice. Tight. And a song called Key to My Heart went to LaFace Records in Atlanta, Georgia, where none other than L.A. Reid overheard it. Good. Is she from Atlanta? No, she's from Pennsylvania. Yeah. Doylestown.
Starting point is 01:58:40 Doylestown? Doyle. That is a joke. What do you mean you're going to call yourself pink? And then her and the other members of Choice moved to Atlanta, and they made an album which was never released. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:53 It's so weird. A lot of pink left on their table. Oh, and then at a Christmas, this is savage. Although one of their songs, this is crazy. So they made a song called Key to My Heart. The album never was released, but that song was released on the soundtrack to the 1996 movie Kazam. Shit! Yeah!
Starting point is 01:59:15 Swoop, swoop, swoop. With the popular Shaquille O'Neal vehicle. With Shaquille O'Neal. And then at a Christmas party, L.A. Reid gave her an ultimatum, go solo or go home. Wow. Then you go solo ultimatum, go solo or go home. Wow. Then you go solo. Thank you, bitch. They can't get mad at you for going solo because it's like either we all go home or you two go home.
Starting point is 01:59:32 Yeah. Like, you know, don't be mean about it. Wow. So that was Pink's journey. Good for fucking Pink, man. So she came up tough. Yeah. It's always been tough.
Starting point is 01:59:40 Yeah. She's scrappy. She was bad in high, like in songs she talks about like being thrown out of high school. One of her teachers like trying to have sex with her. Like, yeah, she like was rough. She has a music video where she has an L.A. Reid like lookalike. Oh, really? Like kind of ragging on her, like drawing on her face to like get plastic surgery.
Starting point is 01:59:58 Oh, my God. That's so harsh. I'm going to watch some pink videos tonight. Watch Glitter in the Air, the Grammy performance. She was the first person I ever saw do those trapeze and hips in water
Starting point is 02:00:13 and then comes out of the water. It was something happened at the Grammys that trumped it, that it didn't get any press. But I remember I've watched it so high, so drunk. I actually watched it so high so drunk i actually watched it after i saw beyonce in concert because i was on molly and i was like i don't know how to come down and then i just watched glitter in the air i gotta get a good night yeah really that's tight
Starting point is 02:00:38 also the you know you're you're two you're two of the four members of Lady Marmalade. I know. That was definitely a guiding force. I doubt they're going to get picked, so we can say them. Lil' Kim and Maya, right? Yeah, Lil' Kim and Maya. I had Maya on my list. She's on mine.
Starting point is 02:00:58 I mean, if we would have gone like 20 rounds again. Ghetto superstar, that is what you are. Oh, wow. Probably my favorite Praws song. Yeah. I had to pick. Go to my hat. I had to pick a solo
Starting point is 02:01:09 Praws song. Yeah, Maya had some good ones. She had that song with the Rugrats video. We're getting off track. Take me there. I want to go there.
Starting point is 02:01:18 That song. Take me to the Rugrats. Yeah. Tommy rides in the stroller. Mace was on that song, too. All right. Yeah. Tommy rides in the stroller. Mace was on that song, too. All right.
Starting point is 02:01:30 It's a great pick. We got to have an R&B. Last pick of the whole draft, and I'm feeling under pressure. There's a lot on the table still. Anything could happen. As I look at the list here. Yeah, I'm looking at my list, and I'm like, jeez. A lot on the table. A lot of honorable mentions, I feel like, are going to happen.
Starting point is 02:01:46 Oh, yeah. Yeah, there are going to be a lot of honorable mentions. Pink, that's so cool that you got picked. I have such a soft spot in my heart for her. Okay, I'm glad I did it. I'm going to go crazy. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:03 Tiffany? Annie Lennox. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Tiffany? Annie Lennox. Wow. Okay. That's Katie Lennox, baby. Yeah. Annie Lennox was the Eurythmics. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:13 Yeah. Okay. Sweet dreams are made of these. Yeah. Also, walking on, walking on broken glass. Walking on broken glass. Broken glass. A couple other hits. A couple other hits.
Starting point is 02:02:33 No more I love you's. Sure. I don't even remember that. It's so good. Yeah. But the ultimate Annie Lennox song and what sealed the deal for me. Why? And what sealed the deal for me. Why?
Starting point is 02:02:50 Just some breakup songs. Some adult ass. Some solid. Yeah. Some adult ass songs that I heard as a kid. Man. Couldn't wait to break up. Couldn't wait to break up later. Jesus.
Starting point is 02:03:01 At this point, this is definitely not me taking what I think is going to win me the draft. No. This means a lot to me. You gotta go from your heart. I don't have a lot else to say, but Eurythmics was dope, and then she was just awesome. Rocked that bad short haircut.
Starting point is 02:03:18 Just looking modern. Pretty odd color red. Didn't she have it dyed? It looked all sorts of colors. It was blonde. It was red. Yeah, it have it dyed? It looked all sorts of colors. It was blonde. It was red. Yeah, it was like white blonde. Yeah, it was white. Yeah, that's the Annie Lennox I love.
Starting point is 02:03:30 God, I missed so many. I mean, we forgot Dolly. We forgot Dolly. I know. That's like- We forgot the divas. Barbra Streisand, but I don't give a fuck about Barbra Streisand. I don't either.
Starting point is 02:03:42 I forgot Gloria Estefan. Diana Ross. I had Chuck Conn on here. Tony Braxton. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. Gloria Estefan. Diana Ross. I had Chaka Khan on here. Tony Braxton. We didn't have Gaga. Tina Turner. Gaga. Katy Perry.
Starting point is 02:03:49 Gaga. Oh, shit. I should have picked Gaga. See, I was going to pick. It was pink or Gaga for me. I'm glad you went pink. But Gaga got to jump off a stadium. She just did.
Starting point is 02:04:00 You know? It's like, we got to get pink some love. Yeah. We got to pink it up. Well, pink did that shit first. Yeah. Excellent draft. I had T-bombs for some reason.
Starting point is 02:04:09 Oh. Tony Braxton was on my group. Oh, you're making me high. Yeah. I mean, if we could have done groups, I would have just picked the Dixie Chicks five times. Okay, that's fair. Goodbye, y'all. We didn't do Shania Twain.
Starting point is 02:04:19 She's on here. We didn't do Shania Twain. I have Aaliyah. Oh, yeah, I know. Nobody would have taken you. Katy Perry. Oh, Katy have taken you. Katy Perry. Oh, Katy Perry. Yeah, Katy Perry.
Starting point is 02:04:28 Jessica Simpson. I was thinking like 90s D-Ga. Yeah, yeah. Jessica Simpson would have been good for 90s. Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson's one of my favorites. First American Idol winner. I also had Kaya.
Starting point is 02:04:38 That's a big deal. I was wilding out when I remember Kaya. She sang My Neck, My Back. I was wilding out. Oh, no, we know. She sang My Neck, My Back. Kylie Minogue was one no. We know. She sang My Neck, My Back. Kylie Minogue was one that I saw on a lot of lists when I was looking them up today. Is she a pop?
Starting point is 02:04:49 From just Australian lists? Yeah. Just a bunch of... The Australian internet? Melbournepedia.nz. I was on the Australian dark internet today and I was watching Kylie Minogue articles. So, to go over the picks, David... Started off with Tiffany.
Starting point is 02:05:06 No last name. I was so confident. Then you went Adina Howard, Rihanna, Madonna, Mary J. Blige. That's a good list. That's a good list. Sean Jordan, you went Mariah Carey. Mariah. Taylor Swift, Janet Jackson, Pat Benatar, and Cher.
Starting point is 02:05:20 That's a great one. That's a good one. That's a great one. It got real chiseled at the end. It got real chiseled at the end. Megan, Megan Gailey went with Britney Spears, Whitney Houston, Christina Aguilera, Adele and Pink. God, that's a banger.
Starting point is 02:05:36 I think that might be the... You went with P, upside and exclamation point, and K. Oh, wasn't her album called Misunderstood? Yes. With like a Z? Yeah, wasn't her album called Misunderstood? Yes. With like a Z? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like understood. Like with an A.
Starting point is 02:05:57 Rich Homie Karm's went Beyonce, Celine Dion, Aretha Franklin, Amy Winehouse, Annie Lennox. That's fucked. See, you guys' lists are dope because the last two are straight from the heart for both of you. And that's what's dope about them. My list is just, they're at Costco right now. Your list is waiting to kick the shit out of all of our lists in the parking lot. Your list is giving you a ride. So that's the draft. Megan, thank you so much for joining us.
Starting point is 02:06:21 Thank you so much. David and Sean, always a joy to see you guys. Shout out to the producer, G. Shout out to HeadGum Studios. Shout out to Squarespace.com. There it is. Tune in again next week for another all-new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Bang!
Starting point is 02:06:50 that was a hit gum podcast

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