All Fantasy Everything - Punctuation Marks (w/ Sam Tallent, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

If you haven't signed up for the Patreon yet, you'll want to do that for this week's episode; the pre-roll is—and I mean this sincerely—more than worth the price of admission.Episode Guest:Sam Tallent @TallentSam (IG: @samtallent)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture and beyond. Because today we're fantasy drafting punctuation marks. Our guest today is the stand-up comedian and author and dear friend, Sam Talent. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, are my friends and stand-up comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is being held together with dried toothpaste and popsicle sticks right now.

Sam is just sitting there. Is Sam frozen or is he just sitting there? He's just not moving. Yo, he's frozen. He's frozen. Are you frozen? Oh, no? He's just not moving. Yo, he's frozen. He's frozen. He's frozen. Oh, no. He's frozen for sure. What the fuck?

After all that. After all that. Oh, my God. I thought he was just sitting still. Yeah, me too. I can't do it. I cannot. He's gone.

We've lost visual. He's gone. We've lost visual. He's gone. He's back. I made a very foolish mistake. I went into airplane mode. You went into airplane mode?

Right. So now I'm on do not disturb. That's the right thing to do. Yes. Okay. Just to let everybody know, we've been... We're good. Everything's fine. We're good. For 45 minutes

we've been trying to just get all our ducks in a row, technology wise. Sam is... You're standing on top of Pike's Peak with a weather vane? Is that how you're doing this? I am. I got a job as a historical reenactor and I'm Zebulon

Pike right now. We just got done churning the butter. No. I'm living in the middle of nowhere in a house that was built after the Ludlow massacre. So everything's bad, but I'm glad to be here with you guys. You're living there?

I thought you were BBing there. You're living there? What's BBing me? Like Airbnb. I thought you were on vacation or something. No, no. I'm in the opposite of vacation. I have been put through a time tunnel.

I exist in it. People are... I go to the candy store and I buy a whole pocket full for a nickel. Emily got a job down here. Oh, sick. So I'm supporting my wife. This is what it looks like.

All right. She got a job in the middle of nowhere. And now here we are. Are you in Ludlow, Colorado? No, no. I wish I was in Ludlow. That's a tourist destination. I thought you were in Fort Lupton or something

no I'm in La Junta oh that's right La Junta the togetherness that's where I am I often get it confused with Fort Lupton for no reason no one's ever had to consider the difference between the two until right now I'm putting both on the map

this is the most press La Junta's ever got and Fort Lupton and Fort Lupton. And Fort Lupton, yes. There's a fort there. I'd feel safe. But no, I have to defend against the colonialists by myself.

There's an insurgency here. LaHunta has a Hampton Inn, so you're not doing too bad. They probably got internet. So I told David I considered going to the library to see if I could get an extra three G's.

Yeah, Sam's got two G's right now. He said a lot. He also answered the phone saying, I've been made to look a fool. I've been made a fool of yet again. Here, this is, if you want to know what we're talking about, sign up for the Patreon.

Because we have video footage of maybe the funniest... When it cut out that Lenovo situation, that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'm going to let the listeners know I'm operating on a Lenovo Chromebook I bought in Japan

for $50 American dollars, which was 300,000 Japanese yen. Are you buying discount computers in Japan? Well, there's a big... You know what's funny about that? I did it for the taxes, but it was $50. So it doesn't matter. What taxes?

What are you talking about? I did it for the taxes. The Japanese guy told me that I could beat the tax system if I bought electronics there. That's what he said. He thought I was going to buy like a switch and like a giant TV. No, I bought a

this is the thing that like homeschoolers use to take their C-SAPs with. Did you get it at like an outdoor market? I feel like it was in a stall, like next to a basket of fish. Oh, yeah. He got that, and then he got a bag of chicken feet. It was not in a building. I'll say that. For sure. There was no roof, right?

It was a tent-based roof. Yeah. I bought it in a bivouac. So anyway, sorry to waste everyone's time. And please, I'm so glad to know that you guys are going to put me being so close to family annihilation on your Patreon. The beauty of it is

I'm here alone, so no one got hurt but me. Yeah, your partner didn't have to see that. No. That's good. Glad to see you guys. I've never been in better spirits. That man going through a sort of technological crisis is Sam Talent. At Talent Sam on Twitter.

At Talent Sam on Instagram. What is it on Instagram? On Instagram, it's normal. It's Sam Talent on Instagram. T-A-L-L-E-N-T. I got locked out of at Sam Talentalon on Twitter for being too inflammatory. Sure, sure. How inflammatory are you on Twitter now? Zero.

It's me just reacting to people saying nice things. I hit the heart react or say thank you. That's all I do. That's the best way to do it. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people saying nice things right now because you've just put out your special, The Toad's Morale. Yes. Which is fantastic.

Where can people see that? They can get that on the Matt and Shane's secret podcast, YouTube. Uh, yeah, thank you. I'm very proud of the special and please watch it. Tell your friends.

It's, it's very good. Shout out to Toad. No, it's a different guy, different guy, David, but Toad's family

came to the show in Chicago this weekend no I that's what I do that do they know this is not even on screen banter never mind no it is not but yeah hey watch that special share with your friends it's a great party album I'm like Red Fox yeah he is like

Red Fox he wasn't great with technology either no he was not absolutely not but he did buy a lot of just a lot of He is like Red Fox. He wasn't great with technology either. No, he was not. Absolutely not. But he did buy a lot of Japanese electronics. He did, right? You guys know how to beat the gold tariff?

David, when we go to Bangkok, we got to buy a bunch of gold. This Chinese guy in Chicago was like, that's where you get gold because the labor is so cheap. Gold's the same price the world over, but you pay for the labor. Well, not in Bangkok, Dave. I mean, let's get, I'll bring an extra suitcase.

I'm coming back dripping. Man. Might hit the weight limit pretty quick on that suitcase. Yeah, you got to wear it back. Yeah, because you'll hit the weight limit quick on that suitcase. That'd be like one gold bar. You got to ingest it. I'm going to eat a bunch of doubloons. Absolutely. Come back with your belly full of cougar ants. That's the way to get it. That's the way ingest it. I'm going to eat a bunch of doubloons. Absolutely. Come back with your belly full of cougar ants.

That's the way to get this. That's what it's going to be full of. They can also listen. They can also get your book at samtalent.com. They can see your tour dates at samtalent.com. Where are you? I think let's put this out. Let's go ahead and put this out next week, Isaac.

Sure. There it is. Where can people see you on the road? They can see me in Cleveland, in Levittown, in Baltimore, at Magoobies. They can see me at Governor's on Long Island. I'm on the road forever, man. SamTalent.com. Come and get those tickies.

Sean Jordan is also here. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Sean at gymnastics class early this morning. Yeah, Max got started. I thought I had energy before that goddamn technical fiasco that we just went through. Now I'm juiced, baby. I'm going to go skate after this. That goddamn technical fiasco.

That's how the government refers to Iran-Contra, right? I hate wasting your guys' time. I was over here just having a panic attack being like, these are my friends are busy. Sean has a child. David has a girlfriend. I don't want to take away from everybody. She's not here.

Do you guys know about this? Do you know about David's beautiful, normal girlfriend? We've heard tell. So I will be... Come to the live shows in Phoenix Come to the live shows in Phoenix It's going to be sick We're all doing stand up Co-headlining all three of us doing easy peasy sets

And we're doing a live AFV on the 2nd Also in Boise we're going to be at the Egyptian Theater March 21st I think so come to that That's going to be fantastic Also this month for High Note Comedy, we have Brad Wenzel. And I'm so bad about plugging the show on here, but it is such a fantastic show. The last show we did in December, a friend of ours, a very established, awesome

comedian that you all love, a one Kyle Kinane, said it was maybe the best stand-up show he's ever been to in his life. And that's saying something. It's January 25th. We got Brad Wentzel. He's hilarious. Come on down to Migration Brewing. Tickets are cheap. We got a lot left right now. So pick him up.

Help us out. We will see you there on the 25th. And go to my YouTube page, Sean Jordan Comedian. I have a special. We just finalized everything yesterday. And yeah, so it should be coming out soon. You know, sign up for the patreon do all that stuff how involved were you in the editing process sean were you were you in

the lab in the house yeah laura did the whole my wife did the whole thing so i was oh that's beautiful we uh she'd send me a cut i watched it like probably 10 times at this point and i don't hate it so that that must mean it's all right because you know to me you hate that shit so uh yeah i'd come in the room and it's alright. You know what I mean. You hate that shit. So yeah, I'd come in the room and it's such a funny conversation. Be like, so the part about me sweating cum isn't in there. Why isn't that in there? But you're like real serious, you know?

It's funny. You know those calls are like going over the track list yesterday and you're just like... Is sweating cum one of your tracks? That's his catchphrase. Yeah. He said it 12 times. Give me a town. Sweat and cum up here.

You better wash your ass. I've been sweating cum. Sweat and cum. There's a bit we cut out because it's gross about, you know, just exactly that. I just kind of off, offhand like sweat and cum or something. I was like, yeah, we can cut that out. But we just had a whole conversation about that. And we had to say it a bunch. So it's just. Convers out but we just had a whole conversation about that and we had to say it a bunch so it's just conversation i need a whole cumber i could never imagine your

wife saying sweating cum like i couldn't even i'm trying to like picture it in my i can't see it i worked really hard on it so go to the youtube page sign up it'll come out uh in a couple months but anyway uh you know you should release a version with sound effects like when you get a Foley artist in there so when you walk around the stage it plays gravel sound effects every now and then there's like a tuba to accentuate a joke

you should get a dance hall DJ we could have it in house we could do whatever we want we could do anything to it Isaac's saying he could make the sound effect version happen I think we should put it out man yeah yeah i dude the version youtube didn't want to show you every time you refer to your penis we play a slide whistle who wouldn't like that i refer to my penis a lot as the whole thing is about my penis and genitals and my daughter it is uh and also let me tell you this're going to say a bunch of nice stuff no matter what.

That's because that's what people on YouTube do. They say only kind things, and they're never nasty, and they never put up your parents' home address in the comments. They never do that. So just enjoy yourselves. I watched yours right after it came out, so I got into the pre-order comments. But once the real ones, I couldn't do it

because then I'm like... Who even looks? No, I can't. I couldn't. I couldn't do it because then I'm like... Who even looks? I looked at his. That's fun, but don't look at your own. No, no, no, no, no. It wasn't because it's like... I get angry very fast. Absolutely. I get more angry about other...

If somebody comes for one of you, I get way more apt to hop on a soapbox and get internet tough over someone else. If someone comes for me, it's like, whatever. I don't care. That's what I'm saying. It's like a bad time. I don't like fans.

I'll say it. My director was in there mixing it up with the people who had Zach Toll, who me and David have known forever, was in there on a burner account, pointing out why people didn't understand the nuances of the lighting and the editing of the situation. He was like telling people the camera specs. It was brutal. This was his first big thing where he could interact

with people who had constructive criticism. And by constructive, I mean they're building a bomb to send to my parents' home address. Dave's got to move. Dave's got to get out of there. And by constructive, I mean they're building a bomb to send to my parents' home address. Yeah. Dave's got to move. Dave's got to get out of there. Dave's got to get out of there.

It's too hot. It's too hot at home, Dave. You've got to lie low for a while. Yeah. I'll go live on the comments. Every time somebody says something, I'll be like, that's my fucking wife you're talking about. And then I'll just go in on them. They'll love that.

We're going to have to tape some construction paper to the bottom half of your screen so you don't see it, Sean. That's my wife you're talking about. A lot of Batman shit, dude. Sean, don't read the comments. Only if you want to hurt yourself.

That's when you go in there. I'm not going to read them. I mean, I'm going to go. You say that, you're going to read some of them. I'm pretty good about it, man. I mean, tell me you've ever seen me on a Twitter feed. I never get into to read them. I mean, I'm going to go. You say that you're going to read some of them. I'm pretty good about it, man. I mean, tell me you've ever seen me on a Twitter. I never get into it with people.

I never, I don't. That's one of the few things I'm able to like separate. I don't need to read the comments most of the time. Well, it might push you if you put out something you're incredibly proud of that equals to years of life's work and people just post gay. It might push you. Well, I mean, were they right? There are

some homosexual undertones because I'm a friend of all. And also, my teeth are that yellow in real life if you watch. It's not a color correction issue. That is... You didn't make them yellower for the special? No.

Oh, the internet is so mean. No, I knew that going in. All they can really say is that my teeth look yellow. And they did. And then they found some other stuff. They don't look yellow to me. Well, that's nice of you. I quit smoking, so that's helping. They look like normal teeth. They just look yellow to me. Well, that's nice of you. I quit smoking, so that's helping.

They look like normal teeth. They just look like normal teeth. I paid a lot of money for those teeth. Now, in Japan, you got them for a song. That's right. Yeah, same kiosk. They're Lenovo brand teeth. You can get a pair of Lenovo fronts for the price of a Coke.

I think it's 26 Lenovos. If you chew gum for more than five minutes, they get really hot. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they start to melt. They just bond with the gum. David Borey is here. Coolguyjokes77 on Instagram. Where can people see you do stand-up comedy?

What is this? Next week it comes out? That's right. Oh, sorry Seattle. We had to change it a little bit. So the 27th and the 28th now, I will be at the Comedy Bar, Seattle. We had to change it a little bit. So the 27th and the 28th now, I will be at the Comedy Bar in Seattle. The 22nd through the 26th. Why are your eyes closed? It's bright in here.

Okay. He's going Jehovah. Yeah. Right here. He's folding into the singularity. It's really, really bright. Come to the Eric Autry Practical Jokers Cruise if you're on the fence go ahead and cop those tickets

yeah if you were waiting you weren't sure if your baby mama was gonna come fuck her come on out see Sal and the boys strap up this time when you fuck her but yeah come on we're going to NASA there's never been a better time to be on the high seas. Yeah. Are you concerned that

if there is some kind of emergency on the boat, it's going to be impossible to warn the passengers? No, not at all. Okay. What are you talking about? Because I'd be worried that they're going to think it's yet another prank. They're like, oh. Hey, they come over the loudspeaker. What's up, Jokers?

We got pirates off the port side. And everyone's just like, oh, those Jokers. They're doing it. Honey, this is why we came. You said I was a fucking dumbass for spending our life savings. Wisteria doesn't sound like a real disease. We can eat at a buffet. Legionnaire's disease.

I've always wanted to join the Legion. What is Legionnaire's disease. I've always wanted to join the Legion. What is Legionnaire's disease? Like a foot thing? You know what's weird about it? No, you're thinking of trench foot. You're thinking of trench foot. I am thinking of trench foot. Yeah.

It's a disease that was indigenous to the duct system of a hotel. It was some airborne pathogen. And a bunch of Legionnaires were staying at the hotel. It was some airborne pathogen, and a bunch of Legionnaires were staying at the hotel, so they call it Legionnaires disease because of the people it most famously infected. Really? You Google that on your Lenovo? Or do you just have that on the dome? Married to a doctor, not a special

editor. So we have different expertises. Damn. I'll just be quiet. No, no, please. The Lenovo is a touchy subject right now. The scab has not healed. In that if you touch it, you'll lose connection to the internet. That's right.

I can't move. That was our first solution. Isaac was like, what if you just don't move the whole time? I was like, very good, Isaac. No, that was my idea. Isaac's did a great job. That's sound technical advice. Yeah.

No, that was my idea. Isaac's did a great job. That's sound technical advice. Yeah. So, the cruise, anywhere else you want to direct people, David Bourne? I don't have them there in my email. You're going to Cleveland?

I'm going to Cleveland this weekend, though. I'm going to Cleveland the day after tomorrow. Oh, yeah, you're going to be there like two weeks later. Yeah. Are they going to take you to that Chinese restaurant? I hope so. I love that Chinese food restaurant. I'm obsessed with tofu skin. That's like one of the best parts

of that gig. Anyways. My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all those things. You can see me this weekend at Hyenas in Fort Worth, Texas. Oh, that rules. That's a great club, dude. It's so much fun.

I'm excited. I'll be there. I'm doing two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Come on out to that. And then we'll be in Phoenix at the Desert Ridge Improv. The three of us doing a live AFV and some standup. All the Salazars are going to be there. All the Salazars are coming?

He was hitting me up. He sent me a voice message on Instagram. He was just like, man, I'm getting the crew together. Early show on Friday, late show podcast. We're going to come out. Sick. That's going to be a beautiful night. Because he's an amped boy.

Well, they got a contract on the roof. Yeah. That's exactly what it was. Tear the motherfucker up. There will be some light disturbances during that early show he's finishing up a Pollo Loco down the street it's basically free with all the tax credits

you get back that's how they sell them, it's like drugs where else? New Orleans, no, it's alright New Orleans, March 8th and 9th at Sports Drink very excited for those shows Sean Jordan? Yeah, I didn't get the ticket

but I'm coming. Sean Jordan's gonna be there too, it's gonna be me and Sean talking in outrageous Cajun accents and playing the trumpet for four shows. It's gonna be my first time down in New Orleans down there, I'm gonna give myself a whalebone going to see the juvenile now. in New Orleans, Dano. I'm going to give myself a whalebone go to see the juvenile now.

You can come see me in the same thing when I went to Vegas. I just want to say this. I don't know how many of your listeners have been able to see you do an hour of stand-up, but I am so happy for your return to long-form improv-ian because you have always been one of the best.

Did you just say long-form improv-ian? Well, back in the day, it seemed like you were goofing around a lot up there. turn to long form improv Ian, because you have always been one of the best. Well, I, back in the day, it seemed like you were goofing around a lot up there. I, one of the best sets I've ever seen is you in Arcata at that pizza restaurant for the first Savage Henry. Ian is an excellent standup comedian and you guys should go see him.

And it's, it's a gift that you're back because there's a lot of people who aren't funny doing it and you are funny and I'm glad you're back at it. I am genuinely touched. Thank you so much. That really was dope to see your dates, man. Cause, uh, you you're very good at it. And I think that it's a gift to the community. Well, thank you. So thank you. I really, really do appreciate that. Um, and I'm out and I'm out there, I'm hitting the road heavy and I'm really, really enjoying it. Oh, thank you to everyone who came out in New York, Philly, and Boston, by the way. Those shows were so much fun

and I really enjoyed it. And then you could see me, if you're in San Francisco, at the Punchline March 13th through the 16th and then March 23rd, Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. And that'll about do it for now. Ah, that really made my day, Sam. Thank you very much.

Yeah, no, sincerely. When I saw your dates go up, because I was in that sports drink for New Orleans conversation, and I was like, oh, fuck yeah, Ian's back. So that's great news, dude. That guy's really nice, who runs that place. I think that's going to be a super fun show down there. Yeah, I think we're just wheezing the juice

on daddy's money on that one. I've done that show before, and I have no idea how they can afford to pay any money. Those are the craziest shows. We were just talking about that last night. There's like eight guys and you're like, you said you were going to give me $2,000. Then they do sometimes.

Most of the time, those things don't... You're like, alright, I'll take the money. He's got a liquor license going. He's like super duper involved in the community. You know what I mean? I think it's going to be one of those. Every time you go back, it's a better and better show kind of situations. Sure.

Cause it currently fits 50. That's a tiny room. Tiny room. Yeah. Yeah. Which is what makes it for like a fun, different experience in a show. You only get it all.

Yeah. Well, buy tickets. I, I, yeah. Well, if we're both there,

I hope. Yeah. Yeah. Come see us. It'll be fun. It will be. Yeah. Yeah. Get a us. It'll be fun. It will be. Yeah. Yeah.

Get a ticket early. I think it's a standup vacation. Yeah. Uh, we're gathering today not to talk about us doing standup again, although it's very fun. We are drafting punctuation marks. Yes. Yes.

There are technically 14 punctuation marks. I forgot about this. We picked 20 things. But so are we, we were talking, maybe we include everything on the keyboard, as it were.

I think once we get to the, let's, once we get down to it, we get down to it. Just kind of see. Sam, are we talking like, I only used three. If you hold down shift and hit, you know,

seven, for example, is that up for grabs? Like, are we talking about? I think later. I was just going, I Googled every punctuation mark that appears in novels, but there are very few. So I think we're going to have to open it up at the end. But there's, I mean, you can get creative.

I got a couple, I'm sure you guys thought of it, but I mean, there's some avenues that you could take that'll get you there. Electric Avenue. Yeah. Well, no. I did that as unproblematically as I could. I thought it in the problematic way. He's still thinking it.

Look at his face. I think we're going to have to freak it out a little bit. We're going to have to freak it out a little bit We're going to have to freak it out a little bit We'll see when we get there I think a higher value placed on the traditional punctuation marks of course the ones we've all come to know and love

Now the way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot Here we go Rock, paper, scissors, shoot Oh Sean wins Scissors, natural against two papers Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Sean wins.

Scissors, natural against two papers. It's about punctuation marks, man. I'm going to dominate. Very punctual with his scissors. This game of rock, paper, scissors is brought to you by the Toad's Morale, available on YouTube. Thank you. Watch it now.

Please watch. I'm trying to up my plug-in game. Sean, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that I need to remind you it's a serpentine draft what is that it's a great question

if you've ever had a paper route it's like doing a paper route you go all the way down one street you just get it's like multiple blocks you know I had three paper routes when I was a kid you go all the way down one just cross the street come all the way down one, just cross the street, come all the way back, and then you go over to the next block, all the way down,

cross the street, all the way back until all the papers are gone. And you make like $30 every other week and you buy a cross-colored t-shirt with that money twice a month and go to Carousel Skate. You had a paper route? I had three. I had one of them that was every day. On a bicyclette or

were you like driven? I was driven and then I did it on the bicyclette then I did it on my skateboard. I had it for like six years. Skateboard paper route dude. Wait so you would you would do a paper route then take a bath then go to high school? Those were your days?

You would wake up do a paper route eat breakfast in the tub and then go to school that might have happened a couple times but that wasn't the daily but that may have happened a time or two the daily one that I had was I had it twice and it was

mostly during the summer so I didn't have to go to a lot of school a lot of afternoon baths. Yeah, a lot of late chillers. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure I took baths. With that in mind, what would the order of today's draft be? Sean Jordan. Me. Sean. Then Sam.

Sam. Then David. David Boyer. Then Ian. Ian Carmel. Our corner. Well, Sean, you have the first pick in the punctuation marks fantasy draft, and we're going to get to that first pick in the punctuation marks fantasy draft and we're going to get to that first pick right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by policy genius policy genius i'm going to hit you we're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick now 40 of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten

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shout out old ladies, alma mater, and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-b-e-l dot com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply hey welcome back to all fantasy everything we're about to get to the first pick it's sean jordan sean jordan this uh is the first pick in the punctuation draft

on this the only podcast that has ever existed uh all fantasy everything uh well i'm heavy reader so it was tough to get the first pick uh to narrow it down but i gotta go exclamation point it's kind of gets everything out there you know i feel like that was one of what probably everyone's first but maybe one out of the first two no no yeah i always feel like an asshole when I use it. Yeah, me too. They're unusable. I use them a lot now in text because I feel like it conveys a good mood.

I'm trying to get past other... I don't know if we're going to get into that realm, but I'm just trying to find a way. Yeah, I just always... I want people to know I'm in a good mood, and that's a good way to do it. We have locked ourselves in a prison of exclamation points with textual conversation and all that a good way to do it. We have locked ourselves in a prison of exclamation points with

textual conversation and all that stuff. Couldn't agree more. Now you do seem like you're not excited about it or if it's like, hey, see you tonight at six. And if you say, I'm so excited period, or that's like, I can't wait period, then all of a sudden it seems like you're going to go to kill them or something like that.

If somebody says something that begs for an exclamation point, but it doesn, but they don't put one on there, I believe them. If I'm like, God damn, I'm excited to see you. No punctuation. I believe them. It's the mundane kind of stuff that I put an exclamation point after to let

people know that I'm in a good mood. It's performative. It's like, oh, hey, I'll pick up that dry cleaning! I'm in my head. Go ahead. It's performative. It's like, oh, hey, I'll pick up that dry cleaning! Exclamation point. I'm in my head. Because now there's... Go ahead.

Well, there's an implied eye roll at the end of every text message now unless you have an exclamation point. Exactly. Exactly. And I hate that. I'm one of those people who thinks that everyone's mad at me all the time. So it's tough. Exclamation point.

Yeah. I'm mad at you. That to me would be funny because if someone's really mad, they don't fuck with that. But I, yeah, if someone just sends me a yes, like Laura, my wife is real big on like, okay. And I'm just like,

oh man, are we going to get divorced when I get home? Yeah. I get so in my head about it. And I have to walk myself back. I'm like, what would you have done to make this person as mad at you as you think they are right now? I'm like, nothing. Of course you did.

Do you ever send the text with like three exclamation points and you don't feel like a dickhead? Like if there's multiple exclamation points in a dick in a text, I want to kill myself. If there's multiple, then it's, then I'm really, I am, I'm either tore up or like, I am really actually excited. If there's one, yeah. No, I know. I trust them.

It gives me the energy of kneeling down and trying to talk to a child. You know what I mean? It's like that sort of vocal inflection. All I'm doing right now is being like, with like other 40 year olds. I want to go read our text right now and be like shit am I sending too many exclamation points to my friends

now I feel like I'm bumming people out exactly it's just like now I can't get my shit off when I want an exclamation point that's the problem I was texting about Golden Corral yesterday and I was truly excited I don't think anybody knew

look at the where. So Kelly Jordan, bless her heart, but look at the level of emoji status that I'm going. Look at that. That's a lot. That's a lot. Why your mom used so many eggplants? Look at those.

Look at all those hearts. Why has she got different color hearts? Look at that. She's out there. She's painting with every color of the rainbow. Wherever the heart button is on her phone is cracked. I don't know how emojis work. I don't understand what

Lenovo hasn't updated that technology. It's just going to start on fire. There's just an ASL button on this thing you have semaphore on there big old floppy disk drive

we did a football team dinner at Golden Corral once and I think they lost money that night oh yeah we did we did uh we need the emergency ham they're calling like the other stores in the area. Can you divert the ham to Lake Oswego or whatever? Scramble the choppers.

We did. We did country buffet and Rick Alvarez puked. Do you remember that? I don't remember Rick Alvarez. Is that his name? Maybe I'm thinking of a different guy. Do you remember a guy puking after Golden Corral or after Old Country? Yeah, he looked like Cody Hockaday, but less ugly.

I think you were in a different car pool that night. Yeah, he puked in between two cars. Shout out to Cody. You're not that ugly, man. I never thought Cody was ugly. If I could have been as handsome as Cody Hockaday in high school, it would have been on. Are you serious? Sure, yeah.

He had an old man face. I know. He looked like he could buy beer. Sam, you can't be that attractive and dance on the right side of the offensive line the way you were. That combination

never would have worked out. Dan Starkovich was on my side. Dan Starkovich was a total hoax. Yeah, he was so hot. Fuck, he was so hot. He was like secretly Samoan. He had a dick he could wrap around his wrist. He was fine.

Yeah. He had sex with every girl. And a couple teachers. Like at least a grade above. Yeah, at least a grade above and two grades below us. Every girl that you ever knew had sex with Dan.

There's a Cody Hockaday who's an experienced mechanical engineer, team leader, and project manager in the Denver metropolitan area? That's a possibility. He worked for Halliburton. Oh, all right. Perfect place for an exclamation point.

He's not a bad looking guy. I think he's aged into his face. I think he's aged into his face. Does he have red hair? Does he look stern? Hold on. It could have been red. Here's a picture of him at the Belmont Steaks wearing a white jacket.

Was he the kind of guy who would go to a horse race? No, he's the kind of guy who would go to the Omaha Steaks store. Like plan a trip around it. Not a lot of kids in high school I would peg for people that would go to a horse race. I can't really think of anyone who was going to. Man, I can't join LinkedIn. Get in there. You don't have a LinkedIn? How do you get gigs? I don go to a horse race. I can't really think of anyone who was going to... Get in there! You don't have a LinkedIn?

How do you get gigs? I don't have a LinkedIn either. How do you keep getting booked with all those quinceaneras, David? You'll never get a corporate. The exclamation point. It's a classic first pick. Same time for your first pick. I'm going with the only one you need in any literary novel, which is The Period.

Damn. Yeah, I thought that was the first pick. The full stop. This was me getting Jordan, and you took Sam Bowie. No, it doesn't speak to me enough. That feels like we didn't need to make that the example. I'm just saying, exclamation point, you will never see in any book ever worth reading unless there's a magic system in there. And I said worth reading, so they cancel each other out.

But the period's all you need. I think that Cormac McCarthy has eschewed even commas. He doesn't use quotation marks. It's just straight through with that guy. Yeah. Full stop. The end. Period.

It's awesome. We're done. It's awesome. I think a period. Who's the guy who didn't use any punctuation in his book at all? God, what's his name? Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss.

It's Cody Hockaday! I'm sorry. I googled what you were looking at. It's 100% him. That's him? That's Cody. That's crazy. He's got his life on the rails, man.

He's going to the Belmont Stakes. He's got a little facial hair. Hockaday's got it together. Period. He's got his life on the rails, man. He's going to the Belmont Stakes. He's got a little facial hair. Hockaday's got it together. Period. He always had facial hair. He always had that kind of like up-close magician goatee. He looks like that at 17, though.

And he still does. He still does. He's also into computer-aided design now, though. So he's branched out. That makes sense. Also, I think I lost my virginity at his graduation. I wasn't going to bring it up. That was a big night. Yeah. It's branched out. That makes sense. Also, I think I lost my virginity at his graduation. I wasn't going to bring it up.

That was a big night. Yeah. It's a big night. Bales of hay were involved. Whoa, that was a good job. You made love on a hay bale? That was one of those. I wouldn't say I made love.

I made a bale. There was no love involved. You made love on a hay bale? Yeah. I put her in the hate about him. Yeah. Like him. I put her in the thresher. Yeah. Yeah.

Is it him? I'm scared to click on anything, but I want to see it. It's 100% him. It's 100% him. Well, that'll be fun to see. Good for him. I hope Akane keeps an eye

on his analytics. Seeing a big spike next Thursday. Big spike on Akane. We just saved his career. He just got the job at the firm. Yeah, period, man. I mean, like you said, Hemingway,

I mean, I think he still used quotation marks, but... Not in all his books. He didn't, what did I just read? Old Man and the Sea didn't have any. Oh my God. He was so. What did I just read? Old Man and the Sea didn't have any. Oh, my God. Yeah. He was so embarrassed that that won the big literary award because he was like, this is a book for idiots. Yeah.

Which, it's still a staggering work. But, yeah, period for sure. And also, it makes you think of The Feminine Visitor, which is fun, too. It's a little double dip. Yeah, it's a good time. And fluff. What's a little double dip. Yeah, it's a good time. And Fluff. What's your favorite Hemingway? My favorite Hemingway, I think I have to go The Sun Also Rises because it's a dick joke.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a pun on him not having a penis. It doesn't work, that whole book. Yeah. That's his whole thing. He can't get it up ever i also love that he was just like writing very very not subtle transferences of the people he was hanging out with

they read the book and they were like i thought we were friends come on like the jewish guy in there who's like dude we were like just hanging out and all of a sudden, this is what you thought about me? That guy sucks in that book. He sucks so hard in that book. He fucking sucks. It's so funny. Sean, you might like this on Allsorizes. There's a lot of drinking in it. A lot of drinking, a lot of bullfighting. I have a couple books that

I'm behind. Trust me. I got to get to your book, man. I have Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I have Anatomy. I still haven't even cracked and I have to do to yearbook, man. I have Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I have Anatomy. I still haven't even cracked. And I have to do that before June. So it's going to be tough. Are you giving a dissertation?

I think that's when yearbook comes out, right? June? June 11. June 11. Hey, let a brother get a galley copy, Carmel. I'll send you a galley copy. Absolutely. I would love to read it.

There's fun letters in the Key West Hemingway Museum of him just sending bullying letters to the guy who wrote The Great Gatsby. That's Gerald? Yeah. And he's like, they love you. They love your cute shit, but they don't love what a man writes.

They don't love what a man writes a book. He's just like jealous and being petty. And they're very cool. A boat shouldn't beat on ceaselessly. It should be used to kill a swordfish. How dare you end a... How dare you use adverbs? He was just pissed about all the L-Y's in the book.

A man doesn't use adverbs. I gotta tell you this. So the first Valentine's Day Laura and I had together, she made a mad lib and we're out at dinner. And she's like, give me an adjective, whatever. And then she goes, give me an adverb. And I was like, oh, I can't think of one right now. And the whole time I was like, I don't know.

I go, I was like, I don't know what an adverb is. How am I going to get out of this? And we got to the end and I just had to be like, I don't know what an adverb is. That made me swallow my is. It was. That made me swallow my Zen. It was tough because it was our first.

We'd been dating for two months, three months. And I was like, God damn, this is where it shows how dumb I am in this area. And she stuck with me. It's good to get that kind of stuff out of the way, like up front, man. I was just like, do I go Google what an adverb is? But then I was like, just be honest. Just don't, you know, what's the point? You know, be who you are. She's like, give me an adverb.

And you're like, I have to go to the bathroom. I'm taking my phone, but for a different thing. I have to take a big shit. So I'm going to need my phone to pass the time. Look, I don't want to embarrass myself right now. I have to take a huge shit. One of the first times I was going to need my phone to pass the time. Look, I don't want to embarrass myself right now. I have to take a huge shit. One of the first times I was going to cook her dinner, I offered to make tacos

and I was like, oh man, I don't really know how to do that. So I went to Subway, ate a sandwich while I Googled how to make tacos. You ate a sandwich? I was like, I want to eat a sandwich in case I fuck up dinner and we can't eat. So at least then you beat her.

Did you get her? Yeah. She was at work. No, I don't want to marry you. I'm going to be hungry. But I couldn't bring her a sandwich. I would. Hey, I got this in case I fucked up dinner.

Did you make like just like real like gringo hard shell? I googled how to brown beef. That's all I got. I was like, how to cook beef. That's all I got. I was like, how to cook beef. Yeah, that was it. There was like a 30 second video and I was eating my sandwich like, oh, this will be easy. I had two dinners that night.

Yeah, brain food. Anywho. David, time for your first pick. I got CJ Stroud and Joy Bryce Young. Periods forever. Man, yeah. Period was the only one and Joy Bryce Young. Periods forever. Oh, man. Yeah, period was the only one I even cared about in this whole draft. I guess I like semicolons.

Oh, really? Yeah, sometimes they'll drop you off a cliff. Like the one statement will be something. It'll be something super negative where you're like, so like, yeah, semicolons. It looks regal. It's a good look. It does look regal. I like the way it looks. I've seen a lot of attractive women with semicolon

tattoos. Yeah. What is that? I feel like it's probably something we've missed. Are the kids doing it? No. There's like a back of the arm semicolon tattoo going on, like the tricep tattoo. Isaac's coming in. It's actually like a suicide surviving

thing because it's supposed to be a period and then they make it into semicolons. It's a bunch of dashes and hyphens. It's a little dark. That's third round talent. I'm glad I said that. You guys know where I've been at.

Well, that's good. In that way, that's a good thing. That's a positive thing. I like survivors. Me too. I think it's the ugliest punctuation. I think it's the most upsetting to the eye. I love it.

Really? Yeah, there's something about it looks like a wink. Maybe that's it. But the incongruity on the page, it just really, I mean, it's a great punctuation mark. It's so useful, but I just hate the way it looks like a little wink maybe that's it but the incongruity on the page it just really i mean it's a great punctuation mark it's so useful but i just hate the way it looks i see i like i think it flows to it like my eye goes to it first also just yeah sometimes it's like when it's used well you're like okay that's like the feeling i get from so i don't even know where to use it what do you when you it? You know when you use it

is when the first part of the sentence is connected to the second part of the sentence. So when it's like, not when it's a list. I thought a sentence was connected. No, but it's like, it's when the second part of the sentence hinges on the first part of the sentence.

Yeah, that's like, throw something at me. In 2001, Space Odyssey. In 2001, Ian had to go to football practice even though there was a massive tragedy 2,000 miles away on the East Coast. The events of September 11th.

Where would the semicolon be? After East Coast. Okay. All right, I get it. That makes sense. So something that has to do with the sentence, but it isn't.

I was really open to period. Teachers tried their best. It's like if you were like, I don't like nachos. The sour cream is gross. Yeah. That doesn't mean I don't like nachos, Sam.

I just get it without sour cream. Sure, that's fair. I'm just saying. I Sam I just get it without sour cream sure that's fair I'm just saying I was trying to put it into a more ground beef get it get it down on my level this is one of those it's a tough one to know yeah

it's one of those where if you try to explain it it's that don't try to save a drowning person because you might drown yourself it's like Sean got hammered at the bar. He missed work the next day. I always got to work, man. I always actually made it in. I was pretty good about that.

Are you listening to what the fuck I'm saying to you? I really only call in sick when I'm not sick. Jesus Christ. You know what I mean. The second part of the sentence can only exist with the first part of the sentence. That's what it does. I'm going to have to keep reflecting

the whole time. I feel like this is going to be a draft where I have to do a lot of that. I did. Darn it. Oh, good. The train is here.

Can you guys hear that? I did. Oh, good. That means the milk and eggs will be at the store. She's finally coming around Maybe the train's got a hotspot so you'll get good internet for a minute.

It's got a hotspot. They shovel all the coal into it. Yeah. It's called the furnace. Time for my first pick and then my second pick as it is a serpentine draft. I got to go question mark.

It's sitting right there. It's behind the Riddler. I'm saying helpful as a logo. What did you's on the Riddler. I'm saying helpful as a logo. What did you say? The Riddler. It's on an ICP album, Riddlebox. Dude, you got all kinds of dang shit with that one. This is round one?

This is round one. This gives me insane class. This is going to be the dumbest. The Riddler. It's going to be the dumbest I'm gonna sound the rest of mine are gonna suck that band

question mark and the mysterios oh yeah it's one of the yeah quest love it's also just a sassy looking symbol it looks like

it's got like a it's curvy it's a curvy punctuation it is asking you a question like it looks like what it is like if one of these had an ass, it would be

question mark. Yeah. I just feel like it's pure first round talent. It is a... Not more important than an exclamation point. I'm not trying to throw anybody's pick under the bus here, but it is more important than an exclamation point.

It's kind of like the only one you have to use besides a period. You kind of need a period in this and you're good to go. Yeah, yeah. That's like the full toolbox. It's the Stockton to the Malone. It is the Stockton to the Malone. It has crazy conspiracy theory beliefs, but it's not

a pedophile. A couple of dickheads with hot daughters. Is Stockton a conspiracy guy? Yo, he's way out there the further we get outside of that the weirder you realize that duo was they're so weird

seriously they're batshit and you know they were they were just in Utah having ideas you start to think that what we wanted to believe in the 90s was that John Stockton's ability to

thread a pass or to or to run a pick and roll exempted him from having grown up in eastern Washington that's true he's their good guy they like him in Utah but yeah

really bad guy. The shorts are shorts, but the answers are long. The long answers. The questions are even longer, man. The questions go forever. See, now, if you put an exclamation point after that, I'm going to read that. I'm going to read that article.

Stockton was out there saying he has a list of hundreds of athletes who dropped dead on the field because they took the vaccine. He was one of those guys. Hundreds. Hundreds. Hundreds. Sounds like most of my demographic. Go Zags. Maybe do your next special

in a Stockton jersey. You get those comments to calm down a little bit. I want to be in a game worn Stockton Dream shirt so it just covers my tits. Sam T. Nation's going crazy. Sam T. wore a sports bra on that last special.

What was that about? And I gotta go ahead now. I'm gonna put down with my second pick. I'm gonna hold it down for everybody south of the border there. I'm taking the upside down with my second pick. I'm going to hold it down for everybody south of the border there. I'm taking the upside down question mark. This is where I thought. We bookended it. Bookend it.

I got him. Damn. Yeah, that's good. I thought that'd be later. I thought I was going to really blow everyone's mind. I can handle questions or preguntas. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. I don't know what the upside down question mark is called. I bet it has a name. I don't think it's called the upside down question mark is called I bet it has a name I don't think it's called

the upside down question mark don't you have to do it I don't know it is called the upside down question mark it's on either end but what's a question mark called in Spanish

is what it would be inverted question mark you pretty much you just did the thing where you got both the brothers which is a really exciting way to build a franchise

I've got the Morris twins I've got Brooke and Robin Lopez I'm ready to. I've got the Morris twins. I've got Robin Lopez. I'm, I'm, I'm ready to go. I've got Osar and amen. Thompson,

the Griffin. It's not going to work out for a long time. Amen. Were there two brothers who played for those Pacers teams? Oh, they weren't actual brothers. The Davis, they weren't,

they weren't actual brothers. No, they would just have the same last name. Damn yeah dale and the other davis oh yeah my entire childhood has been uprooted right now they were both uh antonio davis they were uh they were they were you know they were they were brothers right i know isaac isaac isaac cut that out no no i mean cut it out like like isolate that sound that's the breakout from this episode isolate that sound i thought that they were twins when i was a kid no no no you misunderstood you misunderstood but i thought i was being progressive.

As a kid, you thought that? Well, I was like, they could be twins. I guess compared to the people who were around you probably were. I'm not. I literally thought that they were the twins who played for the Pacers and they kept Reggie safe. That's what I thought as a child. They kept Reggie safe. They did. They did do that.

And in like my childhood like imagination, I was like, well, they probably got them with one draft pick. They're probably like a package deal. We're gonna roll the dice here. We don't know how good either of them are, but together we think they can really do something. I'm

99% sure they weren't brothers. I thought I was related to Michael Jordan for years when I was a kid because we were both named Jordan. I didn't understand how there could be... It was like one last name. We all have that. Probably until I was like six or seven. Señor de

Interrogacion is Spanish for a question mark. I knew it was Spanish. That's a great choice. Good on you, Playboy. I just think at this point, it's like it's drafting a running back in his handcuffs. You know what I mean? I've it was Spanish. That's a great choice. Yeah. Good on you, Playboy. I just think at this point it's like it's drafting a running back in his handcuffs. You know what I mean? I've got them both. I've got the backup. Right. And also you can't have

if you're reading a question in Spanish, you can't have one without the other. It's useless to me. It's absolutely useless to me. David, time for your second pick. It's already it's already fucking thin in here. Let's do some bangers on the board.

Not if you read like I do. You just read Convenience Store Woman. Oh, I did. That was a period book. Oh, how was that? That was like... It was amazing, but it was all periods. I gave it four stars on Goodreads.

I really, yeah, I really liked it. I just read Claire Keegan. Foster, good one. I'm trying to read The Idiot now. Probably going to read that great book you gave me. Is that who that's by? Yeah, I guess a hyphen. Sometimes when i see a hyphen i'm excited sometimes it's like a funny thing or like it keys into a joke or something like that so hyphen i'm never i'm never mad it's

at the party you know what i mean it's it's artichoke dip you know yeah i'd rather have some meat but this is good let me ask you this. Go on. Does that mean that... You're going to say I never shit? I've never shit. I've never shit a hyphen out before. I'm just kidding. Apropos of nothing, I've never shit in my whole life. That was a perfect use of a hyphen.

He left his head. He did leave... I've never shit. What were you going to say, Sam? So a hyphen, let's leave it to the guy who doesn't read a ton. A hyphen, you would just,

if your word is going to be done, or if your word can't fit on the page, a hyphen brings it over on the other side of the page. Or it can be in the middle of, I don't know, just the middle of like two words that go together

but aren't the one word, right? Exactly, like father-in-law, two hyphens in there. Oh, yeah. That's an exciting one. Yeah. Yeah. That's one that I like.

I don't... I feel like it's another one that comes in funny stuff. You'll see funny words hyphenated, but I don't really have great examples for it. I was really... Period was going to be my big pick, and then I was going to kind of coast on that talent for the rest of the season. In the, just in the tradition of funny words, like titty fuck. That's a hyphenated word, for example, right?

But you know, lately on bathroom walls, I've been seeing titty fuck as one. That's one word? Text it and see if it throws a hyphen in there for you. I've seen titty fuck a lot as one. I've seen TF. The kids are in a hurry. Whoa. If they're in a hurry,

they can't get it in there fast enough. Yeah. They're picking the wrong part to be in a hurry. I'll tell you that there's better parts. It's your anniversary. Live it up. No need to be in a rush when the subtle twins are involved.

Those were my Davis twins. They were related. Hey, Emmy. I'm Reggie Miller today. I'm just picturing you at the skate park smoking like a cigar like, take your time, boys.

Nothing needs to be rushed. Doesn't matter what you're doing. One of these days, you'll be my age. You wish you would have slowed down a little bit. Hyphen also is just a cool sounding word in general. It's a cool sounding word. Strong looking. Yeah.

I like all the Nates. Yep. When are we supposed to use? It's a multi-hyphenate. Oh, multi-hyphenate. You're a multi-hyphenate oh multi-hyphenate you're a multi-hyphenate oh yeah yeah i sing and dance yeah you're like cordell stewart yeah i say that but he was flash yeah i know well i'm sure it's gonna come up so i'll get to know the difference as soon as it does lucky me i, I'm finally going to find out. E40 is a

hyphy hyphen? Oh man, good job. And then he is a rapper and liquor impresario? I had to explain to my father-in-law who E40 was the other day because there's this game that Wordle came out with called Connections where you go, anyway, one of them

was rappers. So it was uh yeah so it was rap i think it was rappers that have numbers in their name but so this game long story short it gives you 16 words you have to figure out how they go together in groups of four one of them was rappers i think with numbers in their names he'd never heard of any of them so i was like i'm gonna play them all for you right now i played him e40 and you could just see he was like, I understand how you like this. I don't think he was stoked. What was the song you played?

I don't know what it's called. Tell Me How To Go. Tell Me How To Go. Sprinkle Me was the first E-40 song I ever heard. Were you saying Tell Me How To Go? Yeah, Tell Me Where To Go. God damn it, Sean. Tell Me How To Go. You're the one that's never shit i'll tell you right now you sit down tell me how to go laura tell me how to go i'm trying laura

tell me who to go tell me in your effort to talk about explaining this to a dad, you couldn't have sounded more like a dad. Tell me how to go. Tell me how to go. I'm a dad. What do you want? Like a mom the day after a bar mitzvah. I played him an E-40 song.

Sam, time for your second pick. Hyphen is off the board. I can't believe this is still on the board. I'm literally building a franchise over here. I'm taking comma. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's right there.

It's like a miniature period. And it also does the job of a semicolon. And to certain degrees, a hyphenate. So, yeah, I mean, I'm right there. But I am not taking the Oxford comma. I was going to ask. Obviously. I hate the Oxford comma.

It's so pretentious. It's a good way to let people know that you read The New Yorker. It's like, oh, I use the Oxford comma. Here you go. Explain to the folks. I know what you're talking about. Explain to the folks who might not know. Bro, I don't even know.

I think you use it before and. It's that kind of comma, right? You just wrote the book. Ian, why don't you take this one? It's like I had, for lunch, I had chips, guacamole, and tacos. And traditionally, you wouldn't put a comma after guacamole there. But if you're using an Oxford comma, you would. What is it doing?

And guess what? It is pissing me off is what it's doing. It's also called something else, right? It's not just the Oxford comma. There's another term. It's called the Pope's hook. The King's query, I think. Yeah.

It sucks. What's it doing? It's antiquated. It's unnecessary. It shouldn't be used. It's doing the same job as a comma, but and is there. So you don't really need it. I should have added one more thing. It's doing the same job as a comma, but, but and is there. So you don't really need it. It should,

I should have added one more thing. It's after three or more. I always thought that a comma, you, let me see if I get that. So I just, I'm figuring out that you have to, I do it in my texts a lot now where I'm like,

way to go, Brad, use a comma, right? After go, because otherwise it's going to be like, wait, I don't know it just doesn't make sense when you say that i'm just figuring this out there's that classic example

that eats shoots and leaves if you're describing a panda you know what i mean if it like a panda eats shoots and leaves no comma because it eats shoots and leaves and then leave but if you're talking about like whoever killed tony soprano eats, shoots, and leaves. Or if you want to fucking put an Oxford comma in there, eats, shoots, and leaves. So I used to put Oxford commas in everything in middle school and high school, I guess. Nobody ever told me

what it was. No one can be mad at you because you look like you've been over to Mary Old and taken a graduate level class. That's what they thought. You say, do you want to nip down to the pub and stuff like that, and you use Oxford commas. Yeah, you say cheers after you get directions from a stranger.

I want to hold your head underwater. God. That pisses me off so much. It was the worst. I guess it still happens. It's the no worries of here. I mean, no worries is it's still so prevalent up here, and it just blows my mind. But I feel like No Worries has now divorced itself

from Australians. Like, people just say it. Yeah, I don't think of Australians when I hear it. I don't either at all. Cheers is specifically something... I think of Sublime Girls. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, No Worries. It's specifically people who've studied abroad in England or who've gone to England for like

a little while say cheers. Or who saw a couple episodes of Peaky Blinders. You're giving them too much credit. These are guys who bar backed at a soccer bar and now they say cheers all the time and now they're not invited to any party I throw. Those first few Peaky Blinders episodes though.

Yeah. I was into it for like three. I was about to say. I had to shut it off. I couldn't understand them. It was the only thing I've ever... It's all the Oxford comments. The words they said? Yeah, I couldn't understand. Or like their plight.

Just the accent. The plight. I couldn't identify with what they were going through. I just don't know that life. This isn't speaking to me. This doesn't speak to my experiences. I'm going to throw on a skate video. Sean. Baker three.

There's no punctuation in there. Yes, there is. Andrew Reynolds punctuate the video with him being one of the best skateboarders to ever step foot on a board. That video is so good. Go watch Baker three. I'm right there with you. I agree. It is so good.

Anyway. Sean, do you have your second and your third picks? Upside down exclamation point. Okay. It's derivative now. It is. But I got excited. I was like, oh, man.

Because I don't have anything else I want either. So that was pretty good. Give me a cover band pick. Yeah. Cry me a river, dude. I'm out of this still. Our boards look the same. Mine's just in a better mood than yours. I know a little more of what's going on.

There's music in the air. Mine's not sure about itself. My board made a confident decision over here. Should I have done that? You could actually flip-flop in our actual minds what our decisions are because I'm like, God, I sound like I'm copying him. But on paper, it looks like, oh, this guy knows what time it is. So upside down, exclamation point. Nothing to be said that hasn't been said already because it's like, God, I sound like I'm copying him. But on paper, it looks like, oh, this guy knows what time it is. So upside down, exclamation

point, nothing to be said that hasn't been said already because it's already been picked, essentially. And then quotation marks. I like them. We like them for different reasons, I bet, but that makes me feel good, Sam. I just thought of this, but

my exclamation points go on both sides, and so do my quotation marks. So now, on paper, one of my sentences could be like, punctuation mark, punctuation mark, get buck, punctuation mark, punctuation mark. It'd be dank. So it'd be like, quote,

exclamation point, get buck, exclamation point, quote. And that's me saying... What you just said is like you watching Peaky Blinders. I don't understand the merits of it, but a lot of people love it and i'm not here to rain on it oh no shouldn't have been spanish oh man i think it's universal just like fiesta that should be in the middle, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, all right. Quotation mark. Upside down, exclamation point.

Fiesta. So I don't think... Buck is slang, so we can't really... Do any of us know enough Spanish to know what getting buck in Spanish is? I'm sorry, guys. I mean, you know, I just know... No. No, I don't, actually.

Anybody... Does anybody know any slang in a different language that would mean something? Only slang. I'm not talking about like... Isaac, was there like a buck translation in Korean that you might know? Buck in Korean? I don't think...

Don't say it like that. Isaac's the first guy to ever say that. He said it like the first guy to ever say it. I think I might be pioneering it if I try to translate it. Partying hard, you know. Buck is so... It's very specific.

It's a very specific term even in American English. Dude, you're going to tell me the fucking bang, bang, bang dudes don't get buck? They're like the buckest dudes I've ever seen. They sure are.

Big bang. They dress like firefighters and fucking like slash buckest dudes I've ever seen they sure are big bang they dress like firefighters and fucking like slash and all that yeah these are gnarly Isaac did you see that Kawhi Leonard re-signed he did he what hold on Kawhi Leonard re-signed with the Clippers I don't need any of you anymore I'm out of here

goodbye he's a big Clippers fan I feel like you guys are distracted from all the heat that I just threw out there quotation marks bro well here's a here's a paradox for you guys yeah

you know here's something so in a traditional kitchen in a chain restaurant in America you have a cultural exchange

going on you know what I mean of South American Mexican the Latino diaspora and they're teaching typically a 15 year old dishwasher all the slurs they know in spanish yeah okay and they're bad slurs too they so so that's not progressive but then you have the white kid trying to connect with them by repeating the slurs. So it's kind of like a

who's right, who's wrong. This is progress. He's trying to trick you into letting him say slurs. Don't. I'm not at all. This is an old, old game. No, no. I am talking. This is not like when we found out we were Irish.

No. I can hear my mom being like, well, no. This is a tale as old as time. No, this is not an old pageant. Am I a good guy for saying it? Classic Sam T. Triggs. This is an un... It's a difficult conversation. And I brought it to three of the smartest men I know.

Oh, I'm listening now. You got me. Yeah, to three sl the smartest men I know. Oh, I'm listening now. You got me. Yeah, to three slur doctors. I'm not. Three slur doctors. I never worked in a kitchen. I never worked in a kitchen. Sam, you really buttered me up.

He just said the words. You just show up and say them. I'm not even working. Just pop in the kitchen. Gentlemen. Hey, boys. I'm saying even working. Just pop in the kitchen. Just came back to fix myself a drink. That's my version of walking through the kitchen and good fellas. I just pepper them.

Letting it ring. Oh my god. Anyway, table five. I'm out there whenever it's ready. All right, I'm going to go eat some chimneys. It's an interesting pondry, that's all. I guess if that's just the beginning and not the beginning and the end

of somebody's cultural immersion, maybe it is an argument. Don't you give a little bit of ground on this Ian. Oh my god. Look at his face. Look at his face. No. No. Let me finish.

He's so happy. Maybe he goes to Catalonia. Maybe he takes a trip to Spain. Maybe he gets jumped in a parking lot after a Nickelback show, too. He probably goes over there to join the Golden Dawn, which is the issue. You know?

Yeah. How do we get going down that road? Oh, man. Get that car! And then he starts brushing his hair! He's brushing his hair! Oh, yeah. Oh, man. and then he's brushing his hair oh yeah oh man holy buckets this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by schedule 35 now microdosing is an absolute game changer i have never heard a bad word about it

and like we said this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but I swear to God, it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their

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that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code ALLFANTASY at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, with this week, we want to touch a little bit on self-care, self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. Some stuff like you can't,

I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there. It's really hard to find the time for those things that I want, that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know that sounds ridiculous. And I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what they used to be. But I know that's what makes me happy. And it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything

else. Non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever in that situation. You need to set time. Get it like I keep saying, get a new set of ears on it. If you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time. You can make time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it. It happens. You can talk to someone, get a new set of ears on it,

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Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash allfantasy today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash allfantasy. Sam, it's time for you to make your third pick. Quotation marks off the board. Sean, I just want to say, great choice with the quotation marks.

Thank you. I am going to go with one of my favorite tools as an author, which is the colon. The straight up colon. The two bullet points. I like that. Slang for butthole. Come on. That's right, exactly. Technical for butthole.

I go slang for butthole. That's the slang term. I think sphincter is the whole. Yeah. Anus, I believe, would be the... I just started doing a bit about this. What do you think of butthole? Is that the slang term? Slang for butthole. I think sphincter is the hole. Yeah. Anus, I believe, would be the... I just started doing a bit about this. What do you think a butthole... What do you think the technical term for a butthole is?

I would say sphincter. Sphincter? Well, sphincter is an opening. Yeah, but so is the butthole. So is the butthole. Like a muscle. Well, I mean, but the specific butthole. Like what's the actual word for it?

Because sphincter could be any muscular opening, right? Like you have sphincters in your body. Are you crowdsourcing this bit or is this written? I'm just asking you guys. Yeah, because you got to hit guild with us if we're going to work on this. Well, it's anus, I want to say. I'm unioned up, baby. Yeah, man. We learned our lessons.

I'm in the pipe fitters union. Yeah, call my local rep. Sanitation for me. It's not called the sphincter? It's anus, I would say. Anus would be your butthole. Would that not? Isaac?

Yeah. Isaac, be quiet. Speaking of buttholes. How do you say butthole in Korean? Tonko. Yeah. Oh, I like that. Tonko.

Tonko. Yeah. There's a restaurant in Koreat's fun. Tonkoh. Yeah. There's a restaurant in Koreatown actually named Tonkoh that's pretty good. It's named Butthole? It's named Butthole. It's Butthole?

Yes. Butthole. Butthole. Oh, yeah. That's Butthole. Is that a calamari? Yeah. It's your butthole.

Sorry, I distracted from your pick, Sam. I'd call it. It is anus. It is anus. We are drafting punctuation marks. Anything you can do to heighten this, take it for a ride. It was your first

idea. I'm drowning. The great butthole debate is fine with me. Let's try to keep it on topic, guys. What do we think about the colon? What are our favorite uses? I watched a video. Laura sent me this video about trying to talk to your kids.

It's trying to talk to your kids and they're like you should use man that's how they keep it spicy yeah the video says when you're talking to your kids about their private parts you should use the technical terms like penis vagina vulva and butthole is what this lady says and i'm like no way the technical term is butthole there's just just no way. That's it. This is a lady talking to children. This is a lady on a, dude, if I can find it, I'll show you the video right now.

She's just trying to give you some incentive for using the first three correctly. And it's like, listen, but we're not going to take away butthole. I feel like I'm doing the bit now. I wasn't going to use slang on any kids. I'm, you know,

anyway, that's now we're getting into it. That's usually what I would use. what were you going to say? Anus to your daughter? You need to make sure you wipe your anus? You want to know how the bit goes? Yeah, but he's going to say it's a dank anus.

It's a dank anus. It's a dank anus. Because I got snark nuts. If you're in Phoenix, February 1st through the 3rd. See, we're doing the bit. If you're in Phoenix, February 1st through the 3rd, go ahead and come see the bit. There it is. Got to make them thirsty.

And see me the next weekend. I'm following you guys around. At the Desert Ridge Improv, are you? Yeah. We'll hide a pistol in the ceiling tiles of the club. Please do. Yeah, so I can fight my way out of the kitchen after I get too comfortable. Hey, you guys still back there?

Boys, keep it warm. I'll be back in 45. I love colon, though. Graham Greene. You can tell in my book when I started running the light. You can tell when I was reading Graham Greene because, boy, are there a bunch of colons just all over the page. And you can do multiple colons in one sentence. Graham Greene will use like three colons

over the course of a whole paragraph and it's just one whole sentence. And it's a great little tool and it does a lot of the work. It's kind of a hybrid punctuation mark and I think it's very valuable. So a colon is, you put a list after a colon, right?

Or you can... The way I look at it is it's kind of like you do the list thing. Yes, it's good for lists, of course, classically. But I always think that you use it when the second part of the sentence answers the first part of the sentence. Yeah. It's like a little bit of suspense built in, in one line. And I like that, you know?

Satisfied, Sean? Yeah, that works. That's almost exactly what I had in my mind so yeah thanks i just make it sure uh new york matt's great bartolo cologne i think it's spelled the same way too so you also get him david the way he sounded yeah save it for the kitchen third pack save it for the kitchen that's joke. I'm not being nasty. I learned my lesson on the paywalled live app

from High Plains. You got to keep it pretty close to the vest if you want the big listenership on this. So I'm being a good boy and David's making it nasty. I'm not making it nasty. I'm having fun with my friends. I'm into cymbals. I don't know what you guys... Are we still... Can we'm into cymbals I don't know what you guys Are we still

Can we get into cymbals yet? What? You think I want to pick two more I'm out I'm out I'm into cymbals I'm full on into cymbals There's more classic punctuation

But you do more David I want to take ampersand Because I like ass and titties Please Right Right Yeah, absolutely

You call them There's no team without the A Amps and sans? No, I said ampersands sand titties. Please. Right. Right. Yeah, absolutely. You call them. There's no T without the A. Amps and sands? No, I said ampersands. I know. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were

in a word plan what it sounds like. It's the one that looks like Gianna Michaels the most. Oh, boy. Hold on. Let me just open

this window. Yeah. It was already It was already open How many windows you got open on that thing? I can only do five Before it starts humming If I go to seven smoke comes out of it

Where's her parade? I don't know man where is she? I have sources that say That she's living in Las Vegas. Does she go to the Belmont? Oh, no. Do you guys not? She is the stake. I thought this was a girl you went to high school with.

No. I mean, we all went to high school with her. Maybe if I died in junior high and went to heaven high. I think we all, we, it's not, we, everybody. I have no idea who you're talking about. Well, I mean, Google it. Say it again. Say it again.

Google it. Gianna Michaels. She plays power forward for the Milwaukee Bucks. Sean. Oh, she was power forward. That's for sure. A lot of books. I've Googled it,

and now I have more of an idea of what you're talking about. The ampersand... I've seen the images, and I've correlated how they coincide with the ampersand, and I can now be part of the conversation. A professional porn actor,

for those listening at home, unable to Google because they're driving. Or the ampersand. can now be part of the conversation. A professional porn actor, for those listening at home. Unable to Google because of the driving? Or the ampersand. That don't stop. Throw the blinkers on. Treat yourself. Insurance premiums don't matter. You're going to be driving around like an ampersand

after you get that Google. You're going to be an upside-down exclamation point. Aye, aye, aye. I do me all. Take the ticket. You're going to be an upside down exclamation point. Aye, aye, aye. Aye, me, oh, me, oh. Oh, no, you open the gate. It is a sumptuous punctuation, the ampersand, for sure. Absolutely sumptuous. Yeah, oh, yeah.

It also, for the millennials, it is a very millennial punctuation, I feel like. Is it? For restaurants, I feel like in the symbology. I have a bit slightly about this now, but it's like every restaurant in hipster white millennials, the ampersand is huge. You have an ampersand bit? A little bit. It's in a larger hipster restaurant. I wish we stumbled onto more of my

bits. Say something about how Stacey Dash makes you feel sexually. Alright, perfect. You missed it with the hyphen. Pretty alright. The hyphen is a dash. We could have said M-dash. There's an M-dash in the hyphens. It's two-way. Either way.

M-dash is still on the board. Now, I didn't look this up. Go on. Punctuation mark. It just needs to punctuate something in a sentence. Because my whole life, I thought it needed to be at the end of a sentence. That's not true. It just needs to put a little sauce in the sentence.

Comma hangs in the middle. So what's the difference between an ampersand? You can only end with the three, So what makes, what's the difference between, like, an ampersand? You can only end with, like, the three, right? Yeah, there's only a few, but I wouldn't traditionally think that's an punctuation mark. I said I'm into symbols. I'm post-punctuation. No, but it is a punctuation mark, though, right, is what I'm saying.

Not, well... I think it's a symbol. I don't know. You never punctuate a sentence with an ampersand. Yeah. You would use the word and. No, you'd say what David just did, ass and titties. I mean, sorry to be crass.

Oh, I wasn't, I wasn't, I meant, I meant the actual symbol itself has ass and titties. It looks like it's got them. It looks like it's heavy hangers on it. It's a curvy, it's a curvy symbol. Oh, I was trying to be so intellectual there. Yeah, I love my curvy symbol. It's almost an editorial. An ampersand is almost more of an

editorial mark or something like that because it's used at the same time. You can use it in titles, right? It's a Grawlix. It's a Grawlix. Okay. But not the Grawlix. I agree with you though, Ian. There are a lot of restaurants that's like butter and cream. And it's like, oh, cool. So an orange juice is $13.

Yeah, exactly right. Wolf, there's usually a wolf is on one side of that ampersand. Wolf and, wolf and kitchen. Somalia and wolf. Like, I don't know who this fucking wolf is, but he is loaded. Yeah, meat and board.

It is, it is just a tip of fire to let you know that you're going to want to split that check. The girl on the goat. Absolutely. Any of these places. The wife in the Somme in Los Angeles. Every restaurant in Portland.

They're all like that. The ampersand. A powerful symbol. Bread and Circus, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Shout out. How do you feel about Stacey Dash sexually? I know how he feels. No, it's just, that's how I learned boundaries.

Like, it just can't all be about bad bitches. You know what I mean? Sometimes you cross a line that my penis can't go. Yeah. It can't follow you across that line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a big one. A moral cock block.

Yeah. Anyways. David, do you remember? Well, we'll talk about it later. There was a very funny conversation that happened in the cabin over New Year's Eve that me and Emily have been trying to get to the bottom of. But it has to do with different melanin levels in skin. Remember when Mel just pointed to Brian's girl and was like,

she's light-skinned. Oh, that was crazy. That was nuts. He threw her under the bus. She did not like it. And he only did it because we had brought him up as possibly being light-skinned. She said seven words to us all weekend. The whole weekend. And he deflected. She said seven words to us all weekend.

The whole weekend. And he was like, that bitch lighted up. Me and Emmy were like, that wasn't good, right? It was so funny. It was so funny. It was so funny we couldn't. Nobody could laugh. No.

Nobody could laugh. Nobody laughed? And I looked right at Alana and she like looked down yeah it was very funny and then Sophie was like well so am I yeah yeah yeah she puts a bonnet on sorry this is deep

inside baseball I'll do my 34th fix I'm going to take the ellipses oh 3 and four that's good yeah yeah yeah that's fun that's fun because what's it mean it's like how New York people talk

absolutely yeah it's like ah yada yada yada it is often in the hands of an amateur way overused but some people use ellipses really well. But it's great for texting. It's a good texting one.

It's a good, like, just I haven't completed that thought yet. It was great in the early AOL instant messenger days when you were slowly flirting with somebody and just like sort of like, you know, slowly letting a little bit more of that rope out, exploring where we're at, seeing where we're going. Dot, dot, dot.

Oh yeah. You can get a good message back from ellipses. Yeah. Ellipses was like, that's like the first one where you're hanging it out there. Yeah. And then it comes back and you're like, Oh,

okay. The ellipses didn't work out now. It was like scorpions, a scorpion thing for comics. It was like Scorpion's, uh, Scorpion thing for Conrad. It's always like, what are you going to do about it? Dot,

dot, dot, dot, dot. Yes. Exactly. It's the, it's the text equivalent of hitting him with the eyebrows.

Yeah. Yeah. Man, shout out. That's actually a good one. That one got me through some hard times. For sure. Cause if you just say, what are you going to do about it?

Got me through some hard times. No punctuation? Bad. You seem terrifying. Question mark. Or exclamation point. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it?

Log off. Yeah. Lipsies are great. And it kind of feels like since I have period it's kind of like when Deion Sanders would go play a different sport

you know what I mean it's like you have a summer contract from my periods I've got them on the Braves exactly yeah so I'm taking the ellipses

and then alright it is getting oh it got it's not getting yeah i'm in symbols it got i'm about to pick a fucking onk next i'll tell you what's what's really had a big come up uh in the last 10 15 years is i'm taking the at symbol god God damn it! I don't even know what I would have used it for. It was just email, right?

Just email. Email, but even before that, there must have been... Let me look it up here. It's an internet era symbol, right? I don't remember ever seeing it. I remember writing it in middle school, don't I? It was on typewriters in 1889.

As early as 1889. Is it like a shorthand thing? I never knew shorthand, like the actual abbreviating at is very important. There's a lot of sweat equity put into writing A-T. That thing is so much harder to write than A-T. I know, but it's fun to write. It is fun to write.

It's kind of like the old-timey version of the Stussy S. It's a little stink on it. I still love the Stussy S.y version of the Stussy S. It's a little stink on it. I still love a Stussy S. I still do the Stussy S. I'm Sean on Max's Chalkboard. I'll put a Stussy S. I've seen your signature. It was a Stussy S every time.

It meant at a rate of. So it was for accounting and invoicing originally. Oh. Cooking the books. Look at this in Spain in Muslim Spain they used it in Aragon

son of Arathon son of Doctor of the Hills but the at symbol now it's everywhere now we can't escape it it's horrifying it may be one of the more used punctuations yeah same right there Now, we can't escape it. It's horrifying. It may be one of the more used punctuations.

Outside of the big three. Same. Right there. Look at that. They got it on the two. That's how important it is. It's up there on the two. You'll notice what's on the one. Yeah. Do what you want. Period? Question mark. They have their own buttons. Well, I guess

question mark shares them with a slash. They both share. They both share buttons. With less important things than the number one, by the way. Period is letting that thing crash. Period is closer to home key, the home row, though. My Lenovo has three question mark buttons. I don't know why.

One of them's red. One of them's red. One of them's so hot. It really touches my fingerprints off. I have to wear gloves. It's going to be like that doorknob at home alone. Don't touch one of those. I'm going to be out of here in 13 minutes. David, time for your fourth pick.

Fourth pick, I'm taking hashtag. I hate it when people say it out loud, but it's used a lot. It looks aggressive. It's angry. It was always used when people were cursing in comic books that's right means numbers i like it i mean i remember back to like the touchtone phone like hitting the pound key you know it's it's also known as the pound sign do you want another name for it is the octothorpe oh i like that best yeah that's top that's top octothorpe. Oh, I like that best. Whoa. Yeah. That's top. That's top. Octothorpe.

Octo meaning eight and Thorpe meaning? Thorpe. If you thought John Mapplethorpe was problematic, you're going to see John Octothorpe stuff. Eight hard dicks. Yeah. He's huge in Japan. See, I can do highbrow yeah yeah that's fine

it's a smart joke is that what that was yeah I thought so it was a hentai joke my hands are tied via maple thorn yeah that's what I'm picking

so I saw the Cody Hockaday that we put in the chat and then I accidentally read it as Cock Holiday, which I think would be a fun name for you, John. If he'd have got a hold of that. That's what me and David are going on. I just got the same thing.

I don't want to join LinkedIn. I finally clicked on the link. Cock Holiday. I covered a lot of join LinkedIn. I finally clicked on the link. I'm not joining LinkedIn. Talk holiday. I've covered a lot of weird ground. Sam, time for your fourth pick. Look, if we're going for symbols. Stop. Dollar sign, baby.

Stop. Yeah. There's more reasonable symbols you could have taken. Money cash. I know that. What a great reasonable draft this has been. If you guys are going to be in the mud, I'm going to get 32 dollar sign. It's right there. It's on the floor. I'll take it. Roll in it, piggy.

You could punctuate a sentence with it. You could start a sentence with it. You could end one. What are you going to do about it? You can just send five dollar signs and that is a sentence. Yeah. It says everything you need it to. I'll get there when I get there. Dollar sign.

Your phone has a dollar sign. Your phone has a dollar sign. Your name has a dollar sign in my phone. Oh, I appreciate that. No, your wife did it. Oh. Yeah, when I got a new phone one time, your wife did it. Why is Emmy setting your contact name? I don't know.

It says Sam dollar sign bags talent. It's a lot better than what I am in Sophie's phone. I'm Sam bare butt. Oh, yeah. I've seen that. That's pretty good. Yeah. Look, it says.

B-A-R-E or B-E-A-R. Oh, yeah. Doxin. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Doxin. Two G's. Right there with your social security number.

Find that picture in the comments under Sam's special. your social security number. Find that picture in the comments under Sam's special. Coach Brown. Under who's talking in the kitchen coming out next October.

Dollar sign's good. I don't need all these pounds, the pound symbol from England, though, horning in on my, or the Euro symbol. Get out of here. I like that Euro.

I kind of like the Euro's a handsome symbol. It looks super, it looks like, it looks futuristic. It comes up on the Patreon and I always get so excited when it's like, new member and it's got the handsome symbol. It looks futuristic. It comes up on the Patreon and I always get so excited when it's like new member and it's got the Euro symbol.

I'm just like, oh, hell yeah. The yen one looks really futuristic too. Oh, the yen one's fun, yeah. Oh yeah, I have a podcast. It's called Chubby Behemoth. I never promote it. I forgot to promote it on Rogan. I'm sure Becker's listening to this right now.

Just putting a cigarette. Shelby Behemoth, give it a listen. It's very good. He's eating 10 panchetas. Jesus. Marion, Joseph. I like the Euro sign because I use it in a lot of my international players

group chats. Absolutely. Sean, time for your fourth and your final picks. My fourth pick, I'm going to go to the asterisk because when I spell things wrong, which I often do, it gives me a little symbol that I can correct it and make it look not as dumb.

That's what I use. Like a butthole. Like a tight little butthole. It does. Yeah. Like a tight little butthole. Anus. Tight one. Anus. Yeah, I use it

if I'm a little too quick with the texting fingers. I can put that down there and I feel smarter because there's something letting everybody know that I spelled something wrong. Even though I could just put the next word.

But when I do that... It's also like a Belgian superhero named Asterix, sorry to interrupt you. Oh, Asterix and Obelisk. Yeah. Obelisk. Yeah.

And that's a funny cartoon. And their chief is named vital statistics. That's a funny cartoon. I liked those. That's pretty sick. Yeah. So you get him too, Sean.

And your final pick. Tight. Uh, the percent sign? All right. I don't know. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, we're in a lightning round. What percent do you think you gave that pick? Six. Sam, time for your final pick I'm going to go a little off book here and I'm going to take the French the French Chapeau the one that looks like a

conical hat I like that one because it's atop a lot of restaurants that I eat at at Paris I have no idea what it means, but God I love whenever I see that thing, I'm like, I'm safe I'm going to have muscles on. You just have to settle in. Eat a croissant. Uh-huh. I didn't forget.

I will never forget. Jesus. Me saying croissant is going to haunt me forever. You said it straight up like, let me get a croissant. He said it like he says it. I say croissant.

I'm a man of the world. I'm a man of the world. Listen, we went to France together. It doesn't make it any less funny. Croissant does, I would hope. Croissant. It's so good. And I like the chapeau because it means hat.

So that's kind of fun. It's a little hat for the letter. Yeah, yeah. Perhaps the jauntiest Feng Shui, Jean-Marc. David, your final? Equals. Ah. Gets the point across.

It's often very funny. Blank equals blank. A equals D, sure. Yep. Great joke. A equals D. Perfect joke text setup. Always fun. That was the first text

joke ever, I think. Some of those tildes coming out of it, too. That's fun. Had a couple of more equal signs over here, but you do you. Yeah, equals is my close-up. Alright, I gotta go with the final one. I'm taking a failed

punctuation mark. Something they try to get off the ground in the 60s. I'm taking the interrobang. What is that? It's a combination of the question mark and the exclamation point, which was meant to signify a rhetorical question. So specific.

Well, I've never even seen this before. Is this the freakazoid symbol? A little bit. Say it again. Interrobang. They're number one in comedy journalism. Yeah, they are. No, that's when you have sex with someone you work with, right?

An interrobang? Yeah. No, that's when you have sex during a heated investigation. Yeah. Interrobang. Man, that thing is wild looking. That thing looks crazy. Or expresses excitement, disbelief, or confusion in the form of a question.

Anyway, I think it's the same as the exclamation point plus the question mark. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. You call that a hat? Are you out of your mind? What are those? Those are examples that they give on Wikipedia.

What are those? What are those? The Interrobang. I like a failed experiment from the 60s, like a Zeppelin that could never... It's the spruce goose

of punctuation marks. Spruce goose. You're 30 miles away from me right now. You could get to it in the dark if you had to. Isaac, do you have a punctuation mark you Spruce Goose, you're 30 miles away from me right now. You could get to it in the dark if you had to. Isaac,

do you have a punctuation mark you'd like to add? Yeah. None of you guys took the M dash, which is one of my favorite punctuations. It's great just for bifurcating

a sentence. Just for... Bifurcating. Okay. I mean, let's move past that. We all know what it means. I have a degree in poetry,

you know, so I feel like I need to flex these muscles a little bit when we're talking about writing is it great pick I didn't take it because David took hyphen and I didn't want to get

too in the weeds but excellent excellent pick yeah yeah fuck an end dash by the way but an em dash

love an em dash and love a hyphen as well what's an end dash an end dash is like kind of in the middle between a hyphen and an em dash oh so it'sphen as well what's an N dash? an N dash is like kind of in the middle between a hyphen and an M dash oh so it's shorter

it's shorter the British use it and you know I hate the British so you hate the Scottish I hate the yeah

I hate the British I hate the British yeah in my book I did not know there was a difference so it's all hyphens I feel like we squeezed

same I feel like we squeezed every ounce of juice out of your internet right now your voice it's just it's all hyphens. I feel like we squeezed every ounce of juice out of your internet right now. Your voice is starting to click. You're not going to be able to use it for another day. I need more coal for the modem. Well, let me wrap her up. To recap, Sean, you went first.

You took the exclamation point, the upside down exclamation point, quotation marks, asterisk, and percent. Sam, you took the period, the comma, the colon, the dollar sign, and the chapeau. David, you went third. You took the semicolon, the hyphen, the ampersand, the hashtag, and the equals. I went last, but I do need to point out it's a serpentine draft. So my second pick went before Sean's second pick. I took the question mark and then the upside down question mark and then the

ellipses and the at symbol and the interrobang. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Everybody make sure to check out Sam Talen's new special, The Toad's Morale and also his podcast, The Chubby Behemoth. Chubby Behemoth. And give me a follow on

Instagram because I want to get to 100K so I can start taking in that free promo money. Oh, yeah. You know about visit clubs? No. Yeah, so if you have like 100K typically is the number, they'll be like, okay, we don't have to take anything out of the promotions budget.

And that's just like an extra thousand bucks in your pocket every weekend. More secret money. Yeah, because when you get your deal and they're like, it's like 80, 20 minus this expenses. There's all these expenses that aren't real because it's just them putting something up on social media and they're

like, that's worth $1,000 to us. But if you look at that stuff, if you look at it and bring it up, a lot of times they will buckle. If you actually look at someone's eyes, even if you don't have $100,000, if you look at someone's eyes and be like, what's this for? Most times they'll be like, oh, sorry, that's not

supposed to be there. If you look at them like you're about to in Tarot Bang, then they'll give you the money. No, it's Kyle told me that. Always look at your shit and always look and ask them, what's this for the green room? And they'll be like, oh my god, that's not supposed to be there. But they always want to sneak. They want to five hole you with something.

Anyway. Well, it looks like I'm going to go buy 60,000 followers after this Zoom. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon, the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to

Stacey Carmel. Your guys' subreddit is so much fun. You have a great subreddit. It's the opposite of our subreddit. It's not good. Yeah. Yeah. Great subreddit. It's the opposite of our subreddit. It's not good. Yeah. Yeah. Great subreddit. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy

Everything. Shaklakin! that was a hate gun podcast