All Fantasy Everything - Reasons to Turn Around (w/ Chris Charpentier)

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

Welcome back to AFE, the thinking person's podcast.Guest:Chris Charpentier (@chrischarpie)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks.

No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks.

No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. No chicks. Sharpened tear and shit type shit nice. Yeah, no chicks Felt good felt good. I loved it. It was great. This is anything and everything. That was my favorite part. Thank you very much

Yeah, what was your favorite part? Wow, okay Wow this just fell off Okay. Wow. This just fell off. Is that a problem? That's Isaac's fault. Isaac, it's all my fault. What are you eating over there, Iceman?

I'm chomping on a chomp. He's chomping on a chomp. I like the way you opened it. Thank you. I like the first part. I actually really appreciate how much time you took with it. What are you eating under there,

is the big question. Pussy. What are you eating under there? Okay, okay, can I say something? I've dropped like three hard peas in the last two days and all of them have not been well received. Should I stop doing that? Because I'm so used to hearing it, dude.

Should I stop saying it on the podcast? Because it really sucks. It really sucks when I drop it and I think it's gonna be great and then you guys hate it. I don't know why I didn't react. I don't know why I didn't react. No, it's fine, it's fine.

I think my receptors are all blown out. Oh, I am punch drunk. Yeah. I'm punch drunk. I'm wondering what Isaac I didn't react. No, it's fine, it's fine. I think my receptors are all blown out. Oh, I am punch drunk. Yeah. I'm punch drunk. I'm wondering what Isaac's eating under there. He's having a chomp. What do you mean? Why do you say under there? What do you mean?

What are you eating under there? Why does he keep saying under there? What do you mean under there? Feels like he's going for something that's not landing. What do you mean? What are you eating under there? He's having a chomp. You're like me trying to say pussy.

And then the person says underwear and you say why are you eating under there? He's having a chomp. You're like me trying to say pussy And then the person says underwear and you say why you eat an underwear you guys have never heard this oh It wasn't the best my god. I was really waiting. It was going to get there. I would've been it was good I don't think Oh, fuck all of you! Fuck everybody in here! I didn't laugh! I didn't laugh! I was laughing because Sean, I feel like, has the same thing

that...I can't say that. I can't even say that word. I sound weird in my own head when I say it. I'm like, come on, man. Why is that derogatory? Cause it's calling somebody like a scaredy cat, right?

Like it's- Well yeah, cause you're saying that the vagina equals like you being a weak person. Oh, I always thought of it as a cat. I think you're right. Pussy cat. I think you're probably right. Yeah, that's what it is.

You're a scaredy cat. You're a watch-loon pussy cat. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't think it's the cat thing. Maybe it's the cat thing. It might be the cat thing. Is it vaginal? Why, I think it's just like thing maybe it's a cat thing. Maybe the cat thing vaginal why I think I think Your name is the red leather

pussy, pussy destroyer. No you gotta write. Don't do that to me. Pussy's right. You gotta write. I can say that all the time. If I had a list I would say it more. Pussy! That ain't hard to say. I thought, I thought. Pussy fat. We're on our sixth recording. And it feels

it. In three days. We've saved the best for last. Come. And we've saved the best for last. Come on. We've saved the best for last. Chris Sharpentier is here. That's nice of you to say. Oh, you're new rule. Absolutely.

You are great. Yeah. Thanks. A man who I fortuneed upon on Glendale Boulevard just the other day. Just the other night. You guys bumped into each other? Yeah.

I haven't seen you since your wedding. That's way too long. I know, man. Love a bump in. Good to see you, pin. Good to see you too. Great wedding. We just got up. We just finalized the pictures from the wedding. A lot of fun ones from the dancing. Oh, yeah It was a lot of fun. It was getting it was getting crazy. Yeah, you love dancing. I know that about you. One of my great regrets What? The Sharpie got married? No that I couldn't go. Yeah, cuz we were having uh, yeah, you were having some issues, right? We were having some parent some prenatal health concerns.

And then she delivered like not long after, like emergency C-section, not long after your wedding. This is true, but in retrospect, timing-wise, you could have gone. I could have gone. You should have been. I know, I could have gone. So...

Oh. I can't believe it. I mean, sure, at the time, totally right decision. In retrospect, terrible decision. I could have been there. Absolutely. Man, did you guys get to keep that car? I wish.

We only rented it for a day. I did get lasagna out of it from Charpentier and René. You sure did. A real good lasagna. We were hoping that you would keep that tray, to be honest. Were you really? Yeah, we just. I love the tray. Well, we should make you another one

and then you can just keep it. If I woulda known I was meant to keep the tray, I woulda kept that tray. How many layers on that lasagna? Hold on, hold on, are we dishing now? I've never seen you get like this before. Fuck you. We're talking about a dish.

Fuck you, I can't change shit. I can't have friends? No, you can't. But it's... That's nice. No, it sucks when you do it. It's alpha when I do it. It's alpha when you do it. It's alpha when I do it.

This is a good time to let you know that you can watch All Fantasy Everything on YouTube if you were wondering what exactly is going on. We're now available on YouTube where David was sort of like tucked his little feetsies underneath him on the couch. They're 12 and a halfs. They're clod hoppers. Shaq and I, dude, me and Shaq. And then Sean tucked his little feetsies underneath him.

And I kept a little tootsie up here. He kept a little tootsie, but Sean also had to sort of manually manipulate one of his legs to get in that position. Ian, you wanna switch? You wanna do something? Take your shoes off, guys, this is the last one. We did it in Boise.

Took our shoes off, had a little dish session. Feeling comfortable taking my shoes off. What if there's an odor? That's how I feel. You know what I mean? I just did a yoga class the other day and was like, I specifically changed. I can't get that close, but it's like, nothing.

You're good, Shay. Specifically changed shoes and socks right before I went yeah, so this wasn't a problem still a problem still a problem Just a little bit you're a working man. I'm a working man, but it's just so embarrassing But it wasn't my work shoes I specifically changed I just got a foot thing you know what I should blessed in every other way, but then Terrible feet short stature stanky feet Medically bad feet Boom tough actin to that I keep it on my bedside table. Use it as lube. I'm like LeBron with that stuff.

I didn't even put it in the air. Put tenactin! I keep it on my bedside table instead of water. Right in the mouth. It's all going in the same place. It's a little too am. Ooh, boy. Spoonful of tenactin real quick.

I do like thinking that you have bad feet, like you guys have different political views, you and your feet. That's who I am. Oh! Ooh, boy. Spoonful of tenactin real quick. I do like thinking that you have bad feet, like you guys have different political views, you and your feet. That's why they're bad? They're just rough. No, I get it, I don't have great feet either. I can put my feet in my mouth still.

Let's just say, if you saw how much I paid for taxes, you wouldn't match a picture of that to my, a picture of my feet. Yes! You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I bet outside of the NBA, we have some of the most incorrect tacks to foot ratios. Yeah, it's not appropriate. Why don't you go get them cleaned up?

Every time I do this, because the Vietnamese lady's laughing at me. Why are you going to yours cleaned up? What, do you guys live in Middle Earth? They don't have foot cleaning stations? I don't know, I'm not in the same tax bracket. I just, no, I just did it right before I went to Mexico and the lady, she's like, she's kinda laughing at you, it kinda hurts your feelings. I'll bet.

You need to get, you need to keep up on it. And then the water's not a good temperature and then that's a whole nother center round of laughter. Too hot, too cold. Too hot. We got pedicures, remember, and it was too hot too. Yeah, I like it too hot though. We wouldn't let David let it be too hot, you remember?

Yeah. Like it's too hot and we're like, whatever dude, you're being a mark. And then like I touched it, it was like boiling hot. Yeah, it was so hot. Even the woman was like, oh yeah, sorry. Maybe I'll go get a pedicure on Friday. I'm about to hit a work hiatus. I could use a little pedicure.

We're gonna do that. Is it gonna be a treat? Absolutely. Isaac, you wanna go get pedicures on Friday? I'd love to, yeah. We're doing it. Let's go. I was already good at it.

Sharpie, you wanna go get a pedicure? I'm going'd love to, yeah. We're doing it. Sharpie, you want to go to pedicure? I'm going to the Magic Castle Friday. Nice! That's why you need a pedicure. No, I should get one first. They might disappear your shoes. Have you guys ever been? No, I've never been. I don't like close-up magic. I don't like magic. You only like it far away? I don't like magic. You don't like magic. I don't like magic. Why? Too intense I just based in dishonesty. It's based. It's it's not too intense Are you in love a bit of it? I believe that kind of Aren't you in love is a crazy thing to say I haven't seen you know, aren't you in love?

Yeah, yeah, yeah I got a Prius it's it's it's so stupid it's such a stupid reason but when someone's doing magic I'm like, well, I know it's not real and that's enough and that's enough for me to not enjoy it It's crazy and I got I know I know it's a weird thing. I know it's weird. I just don't like, and I don't like magicians. I don't like magicians. I hate magicians. That makes a lot more sense. I don't like them. That's the main issue.

Because it's that whole, I'll never tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know you're lying, bro. Yeah, that's what it is. Shut the fuck up. Like, it's a- Talk to me like that. I don't care.

It's fun. Well, of course you don't care. Because you're basically a magician. Who, me? Yeah. Shit. Care I think I supposed to go like left to right. That was a B-Team handoff. Which one you go to? Yeah, that's not, that's no, you gotta come in. We can see the whole thing.

Yeah, for the listeners. My dick's out. For everybody listening, I pulled out my penis. He's playing dirty cowboy. Sean S. Jordan is here. Sean Cougar, Mel and Jordan on Instagram. What's up, bro? What's up, bro? Sick. What's up, bro? What's up, bro?

Sick. What's up, bro? I'll be in Minneapolis, Minnesota, August 15th with Zac Tuscani at SisFist Brewing, Chicago, Illinois, August 16th with the aforementioned Zac Tuscani at the Lincoln Lodge. Come to those. Scruff McGruff, Chicago, Illinois, 60652.

Is that where you're gonna be performing? What? Remember that Scruff McGruff, McGruff the Crime Dog? That was a commercial. Oh, no, I like Serengeti. Hit me up in the comments if you remember the Scruff McGruff Chicago, Illinois, 60652 theme song.

Isaac, can we take some calls? Absolutely. All right, great. You're on the line. I just called to say eat shit, bro. Great, thank you. That was to Sean. Caller called him to say eat shit bro. Great, thank you. That was to Sean. I called in to say eat shit to Sean.

Sean, your response? All right, bro, thank you for calling. We appreciate the membership, bro. All right, the board is lightin' up. Anybody ever call in a song for you guys in life? No, but I called in it. I got busted, bro. I called in this one for Jamie Johnson,

and I got busted so hard. Jamie Johnson? The cat, I love the cowboys. I called in this one for Jimmy Johnson, and I got busted From Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and this is for Jimmy Johnson quad city DJ Smith for president baby I'll ride that train with you, Jimmy. Cowboys 96! Woo woo! Akeman Smith for president, baby. Akeman Smith's an all right name, right? If my name was Akeman Smith. Yeah! Sure, that's an all right name.

Yeah. Would that be cool? It is, yeah. I bet there are some Akeman Smiths. I hope so. I bet there are. There must be, in Texas somewhere. Isaac says yeah. My brother named his kids Brady and Quinn after Brady Quinn. Did you say your brother? My half brother.

You know the one that I met when I was like, oh. Right, right, right, right, right, right. This is where you guys find out. I thought you just dropped a new brother on the thing. Yeah. 10 years into our relationship. You just stuff like that every now and then. I just found out you had fifteen cats.

Thirteen. I knew that. I didn't know that. We had thirteen cats. Two girls. Dude, guess what? I thought you were talking about right now. I was like, what? Yo, guess the guy on girl ratio in there.

On the cats? Yeah. It was thirteen? Thirteen. I mean, twelve to one? Yeah. It was 13? 13. I mean, 12 to one? Oh, no, two to nine. No, sorry, sorry. That does not. Sorry, sorry, two to 11.

Okay. Two to 11. Yeah, okay, yeah. Well, no, two of them were there. Two of them? Nice. A them, A them, kiddies. Hero, ally, one of the good ones.

This is All Fancy Everything, it's a podcast for thinking people. David Borey is here, CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. Silent on the studio. The G is silent. No dates. Chris Sharpen Tears is here as well. Hell yeah.

Didn't say a goddamn thing, that was icy. Just tie it to it. This is a cool finger point. Yes. How the heck are you, Sharpie? Me? I'm doing pretty good, man. Thanks, dudes.

I'm doing good. I'm doing well. Haven't seen you since your wedding when the DJ recognized Sam Talent. Yeah, gave a shout out to one of my guests for no reason. He also said, welcome to Cali, baby We see you Sam Talon, which is crazy Me and my girlfriend were like we're in Monterey is he allowed to say that here welcome to Cali

We're not in Oakland. We're right by a kelp for us We're on a golf course. He also had two Bluetooths in. He did. He did. That guy was making moves. He had blue teeth. He was living his own life. He had two toothed? Yeah, two toothed blue teeth.

He also had a pocket full of blue shoes. He had blue shoes, chon on blue shoes? Rock hard two toothed blue teeth. He had a blue tooth, he had a blue shoes in and his pack in his mouth. He was sucking on boner juice. Honestly, Isaac, if you want to take that out, that'sed, blue teeth. He had a blue tooth, he had a blue chewed Zin and it packed in his mouth. Just sucking on boner juice. Honestly, Isaac, if you wanna take that out, that's a million dollar idea.

Yeah, the thinking man's podcast. You can buy, you just exploded the podcast. Yes, I'm a disruptor, I'm moving fast and breaking stuff. A Viagra Zin? A Viagra Zin, well a blue chewed Zin. Yeah. But yeah, same thing. If Viagra wants to work with us,

if they want to come to the table, we're willing to listen. Honestly, we'll come to the table for three of those jackets. Yeah. The NASCAR jacket, Viagra jacket. You want one too? Four. Four.

Four. You heard us. I want one. Three. Now Ian and I don't get one. Selfish dude. Yeah, you listening Terrence Viagra? Send us those jackets. Terrence Viagra.

Terrence Viagra. Terrence Howard owns Viagra. Yeah. And he legally changed his last name to Viagra. That's how he got in the game. That's how he, yeah. Those jackets are pretty sick. Yeah, they're awesome.

They're awesome. A lot of people thought it was Mr. Holland's Opus. No, it was Pfizer, Viagra. Wow. You know, you can get your hands on these. Viagra? Viagra jacket. How you know you can get your hands on these. Viagra? Viagra jacket. How much?

Jeff Hamilton was the guy. $269.99 for a vintage XL, oh it's over. But it went for $269. Oh, you know what, Jamel has one. It's a bad band. We can probably, Jamel has one. Nothing has surprised me less than hearing that. Should I talk now?

Okay, sorry, I got sucked into the Viagra jacket vortex. Sounds like my Friday night. Do you have any... Has that been working? I've really been running it a lot. I'm really looking over the past few days. We've been packing it in. Usually we would absorb new bits just from living.

Our brains have been in a different space. To do six in two days has been an interesting experiment. I'm glad I'm getting in at the end. I love it, I've had a blast. We're in our late stage evolution of Galapagos tortoise phase right now. We've been isolated on an island. No, we're liquid.

This is Sergeant Pepper's. This is wet, dude. Speaking your own language. This is exciting. This is easily the wettest episode of all three of us. Sean went to India for six weeks, so this shit's weird.

I don't know what I'm saying. No, that was a great reference. Nice. Somebody who loves the Beatles, Ian. You also love the Beatles. We're the two guys who love the Beatles. You are the two Beatles guys. Right in the world.

In the world. Yeah, the Beatles, I don't know where else to find it other than Ian's car. We're the two guys who love Meet the Deetles. Yeah. Weezy's got a song on there that they did with Soul Koffing called American Girls. It is one of the best songs and you can't get itles. Yeah. Weezer's got a song on there that did the soul coughing called American Girls. It is one of the best songs and you can't get it anywhere.

I don't know how to get it. What? It's fantastic on Meet the Deedles, the soundtrack. Weezer and soul coughing did a song called American Girls. Fantastic. Sharpie and I- I love that you're referencing Meet the Deedles soundtrack deep cuts.

Sharpie and I are fans of Deed the Deedles, which is the Carlos Mencia. Yes. Remember, because he's Deet de Deetles, which is the Carlos Mencia. Yes. Remember, because he's Deet de Deetles. Deet de Deetles. Yeah. It's his book he wrote about Meet the Deetles called Deet de Deetles.

Remember his Deet de Deet thing? No. You know? I have no idea what you're talking about. Carlos Mencia's comedy catchphrase was Deet de Deet. It was Deet de Deet. Which was like making fun of a developmentally disabled person.

Oh my God. Oh! I remember him doing it then. Me and Sean are fans. Cause he would do it like real enthusiastically. Really enthusiastically, yeah he put a lot of pepper on it. I remember now. Me and Sean are fans of Pine and Needles,

which is a bed and breakfast at Friday Harbor in Washington. Oh. It's really nice, you take your girl out there, homemade preserves, small beds, but whatever, you know. That sounds great. Yeah, it's not a real one pine needles. No no no I'm not in the bed a lot though You know like I'm more up there to kind of see the nature side of it so Isaac's a big fan of insane Screedles which is a website you can go to to find most of some of the most insane screeds that have ever been published What's a screed a screed? Yeah? Oh, don't be coy with us. Yeah, you know what a screed a screed yeah, don't be coy with us

There's an intense case of screen on a good streak right now. Three hundo out the door for a dead stock Jeff Hamilton NASCAR jack with Viagra right on the front. That's a little more than I want to pay. 300? I want to pay 130. All right. Well, I'll keep looking. My name's Ian Carmel. Did you have anything to promote? No, man.

Anything just like in life you want to direct people to? Sure, I got some weddings coming up in New York and all over the place. So they can maybe see you there. That's about it. Yeah, I'm gonna go to Jordan's wedding in Colorado. You gonna be in Denver in September? I don't know yet, maybe.

Yeah. We'll have to see. All right. Probably, but I really don't know. All right. Probably. Sure would be cool. Sure would be.

Maybe all of us will be. Maybe we all will be. Maybe all of us will be. That'd be nice. Who knows? Who's to say? And I really don't know all right probably sure would be cool Maybe we all will maybe all of us. I may be nice. Yeah, who's safe who is to say with our show sponsored by insane screedles $30 Viagra jacket. Viagra. Sure. Why isn't it called Viagra? It makes it the old. It's right there.

Yeah. Agro Viagra, dude. Why is it called Viagra? I bet, I bet. I wonder what all these medicate. Like all of, you know, what is it, Linduta? Biktarvi. Biktarvi's a good one.

Biktarvi? Yeah. I've never heard of that one. They showed you in basketball a lot. Yeah. We were sitting like, We were at the house, we were at Laura's parents house, just like riffing fake names for medications.

And then Laura, it's Laura's dad, Laura, and then me. And we're riffing, I forget the one she said, but then she looks at me and she's like, limp-to-dick. And I had to hold it cause he didn't get it. I was like, Jesus lady. You love it. Laura said Limputic in front of her parents? That's awesome.

Yelled it, but she didn't mean it to be, it just is what came out. Oh, because it does sound like one. She wasn't doing the bit. But after it came out, I was like, do you know what you just said? Well, that's a bit from one of Isaac's favorite rom-coms. What's the, can I hear it once?

Oh, the one that you made me watch with Zoe. What if, what if they come up with fake, you have to come up with, that's like? Oh, the one that you made me watch with Zoe. What if? What if they come up with fake? You have to come up with, that's like a big, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever see open micers do that thing where, uh, Tricox again? It got me right there. The medicine for lesbians?

Tricox again, the med- oh. I've seen that at open mics in different states. Wow. That makes sense. so in the in the Etymology reddit, which is a real sub reddit that exists they say it's it's named after a Sanskrit word Viagra, which means tiger That's good Sanskrit is where they're going to name. Yeah, I guess I thought it was Sanskrit until

Three four years ago probably four seconds ago No, you know you guys busted me. It was on this show where I thought it I've learned a lot of stuff on this Now how long can you do that before your hips start hurting? David's phone is talking to us talking to your penis really guy installed some fucking spyware on that Thank you for your credit card information all right, it'm gonna go ahead and buy myself a plane ticket home He's a blick guy You're not even doing it right

I laughed about it all day Oh, cause I said that? Oh, you heard me call Alana and say it huh? I did, that is so hard An Australian guy gave me my phone back this morning but he was a blick fella Gave me my phone back this morning, but he was a black fella

What do you know if he was like of African descent or if he was aborigines I don't Didn't come up You're gonna ask you're like Aborigines is aboriginal. I think that originally is it aborigines aborigines aborigines No, is it Aborigines or Aborigines Aborigines Aborigines Came a little tickle for everybody listening what I Like that sure I didn't see oh Clyde that wait doesn't say it says Clyde the Clyde? Clyde the Clyde. Okay. Yeah. That would be insane. Well no cuz that's what my buddy told me his nickname was.

Yeah I know. I thought that was like a me. Clyde the Clyde. Oh you thought he made a t-shirt for your thing? I thought somebody might have sent you that shirt as like a tea inside joker. It's a real uh. It's a real bit. Don't make me explain myself that much again. I don't like it. I wanna get a Rain Man. I say what I say. I wanna get a Sean Kemp Rain Man t-shirt. You should get a Sean Kemp Rain Man t-shirt.

I'm probably gonna buy it. Is Dustin Hoffman and Sean Kemp walking down the street together? That's great. It might happen. That's great. It is great. Wait, shouldn't it be Tom Cruise?

Well, Dustin Hoffman was the Rain Man. Yeah, so Sean Kemp. Oh yeah. Must be the Rain Man. Oh, so Sean Kessler was the Rain Man. Oh Rain Man, there it is. Cause he couldn't talk, right? We got to the shirt. So we called him Rain Man. We got to the shirt, Rain Man, there it is.

Big Johnson, Rain Man. What's, the rain is just drops of jizz or what? And it's Train, and it's also Train Man. Drops of Jupiter. Drops of Jizpiter. Drops of Hoopiter. And it's train and it's also train man drops of drop the jizzpeter Drop drops of whoopiter the rain man Yeah Fucking drunk Talk about it the other day when we laugh so much and we're just breathing in each other's old air

See I don't see A lot of events in here My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel across platforms You can watch my special comfort beyond God's foresight on YouTube and you can buy my book t-shirt swim club available anywhere I have nothing further to promote other than world peace Now we're not here to talk about Rainmen, our fantastic multi-tiered t-shirt collaboration idea, but rather to fantasy draft reasons to turn around. So good.

Yeah, I texted Lauren, she's like, I think that's the best idea that there ever has been. That's exactly what she said. That might be the funniest idea there's been. All right. It's really good. Now, the way we determine the order of this drafted story, rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, played between the three of you,

and we throw on shoot, all right? Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! No way. Oh, cats again! Five times. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! No way.

Cats again! That's like nine in a row, actually. Yeah. That's crazy. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh! 10 in a row actually. Yeah. That's crazy. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh! 10 in a row. Sharpie got all around. Spread over two episodes literally like 10 in a row.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Okay. Oh my God. Sharpie wins. How exciting. Very exciting. That was tight. That was tight. Rock against two scissors.

Sharpie is the winner. It's incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's trap before you do that I will remind you it is a serpentine direct. What is that? If you're on like a bitch and wave runner on a lake, and you just go back and forth a bunch Be like wait on us the where you stand up right? Yeah, yeah one where you can like dig your heels in right? There's a difference. Yeah You have you ever seen I know that but I didn't know that the wave runner handlebars move to they got the big spurt that comes out like like the

Maybe we just go in on like we all use our business credit cards and we get an a a fee jet ski One jet ski for everybody. I don't think we need more a big three banger jet ski We can all have a good little time I don't think we need more. A big three banger jet ski, we can all have a good little time on it. You don't think you need more? We're not always going to use them at the same time. Yeah, but now you never get to go with anybody. You're just going by yourself.

Oh, oh, when I'm out there, it's just me and the wave. Doesn't matter. I don't want to... I understand. I don't talk. I'm going to look it up real fast. Can we get a long seat jet ski so we can all three have a good time on it? You want a banana boat jet ski, you freak all three have a good banana boat jet ski you freak

Clothing optional hey, I'm looking up giant jet ski Catalina I feel like you could and for sure Wow, I've seen a service. Oh It's like from Long Beach to Catalina. You'll jet ski there jet ski whoa Okay, if we get the fish pro scout, I would it's a four banger I would do there's a four let me see it four people get eyes on it. It's two or one person laying down Whoa interesting. That's a long boy. We might as well get a boat at that point. It starts at 15 299 It's a lot. It's got 1,500 Between three maybe four of us

Five racks for one third of a jet ski. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. We buy it, we wrap it.

We get it wrapped A and B. Yeah. Now it pays for itself. AF ski. That's gonna be like two grand to get it wrapped. AF ski. AF ski. AF ski.

Did you say that earlier? I did. Dude, the fishing jet. I was gonna let it ride. The fishing jet skis are huge. I don't wanna fish off a jet ski. Ian keeps thinking about when he's gonna try to knock my hat off my head. I just saw you do it.

I literally did not. Oh, you didn't? No. Don't do it now. He's knocked it off two days in a row. Oh, here's a Reddit for him. Best luxury jet ski for a big guy. Nice.

See, I do that a lot. All right, I'll go into Reddit and look for stuff for fat guys. Yeah, absolutely. I went out a kayak rabbit hole the other day. I should start doing that for short guys. Yeah. It's all on Reddit.

Yeah, definitely. It's all the stuff. They have it for tall guys and it's just the internet. Are you trying to get into the kayak? I haven't heard tall, hot guys. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's just the regular internet. I don't have to go into a wormhole again.

I was telling that joke right around the same time a better and handsomer and taller. I bring up that I'm attractive less because I think I'm ugly so Oh no My god damn Flip it on him You're a very handsome guy You're a classically handsome guy You are seriously a classically handsome man.

You get worse by the day, but you're a classically handsome guy. You're an aging baseball glove that used to be in pristine condition. That's the guy who grew up watching 2on11 cat origins. Yeah. It's obvious. We can tell. Tell me you grew up watching cat origins without telling me

you grew up with a watching cat. Just sprinkling cat nip all over while they're doing it. It all hits it once when you grew up watching cat orgies without telling me you grew up with a watching cat. It all hits at once when you grew up watching two out of eleven cat orgies. Everything's hunky dory. I just got a big catnip pinata that I'm afraid of. You slam into a wall. Don't call her that. She's your wife. Dang. That was crazy. Sorry, it's the last episode. It's the last episode. I'm sorry, guys.

I mean, that would be a pretty sexy name for someone, actually, that's my little catnip pinata. Nah. Nope. Not too long. Not too long. Catnip, good. Pinata, maybe not.

Everyone's gonna have to keep track of their own picks because my computer just died. Or Iceman, can you do it? Absolutely, yeah. This is what I do every recording. I take notes. Oh, hell yeah, hell yeah. Well, uh

Have we sang the ace of base song yet? Which one? Not yet, I did all day though, okay You sang it earlier I didn't know why you were singing it that's why you were singing it. Yeah, I get it Mm-hmm. No, I've sung it.. What's the order bro? It's your turn. It's not up to me did Damn order then yeah, let's just go Right down the cap right down the goddamn corner goddamn right. Oh, I run the middle. I don't like that, but I'll do it I'll do it. Wait harping. I don't have my computer. I'm powerless. It is funny seeing your whole lap

I don't usually get to see your lap He's literally pocket watching. Be careful now. Oh, are you gonna do the t-shirt through the thing? But no. Oh, your hand? What were you talking about? I'd pull your t-shirt out,

little Daisy Duke with your jeans, I don't know. I was making stuff up. Sure, that looks good. Oh, Ian's got four dicks that look like fingers. It's cool, right? It's like a cool energy I'm putting off. It is., right? Like a cool energy. I'm putting off it is yeah It's good hosting if you're listening You're listening

You listen I got four fingers out of my fly right now. It's funny I got four fingers out of my fly right now. It's funny Times funnier than one finger. That's right. That's right. If I got the thumb out of there this place would be in stitches right now David boring you have the first pick in the reasons to turn around all things everything fantasy straff are we gonna get to that pick right after? this short break And we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the thinking man's podcast I think in person's podcast and I thought about that and I am ended it nice God is a woman the thinking person's podcast a David boring. It's time for your first pick. I already said it ass Yeah Ass. Ass! Oh yeah. I thought you were talking about his joke and I was like, that was so mean. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

Not at all. I thought it was because... I thought you were just saying it because you said the thinking man's fucking. I did too, that was where my head went. Oh no, I was saying my first pick. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that'll do it.

Every time. Every time. Yeah. Every time. For me it's when someone with a woman with a wonderful intellect walks by. I'm gonna kill you. And I can detect it. You can detect it.

And I turn around, because I'm like, because I say, I challenge you to a game of Trivial Pursuit. Not me, big old jiggling wagon. I can teach you. Any kind of dope butt, though. I'll take equal opportunity to do a butt guy.

Honestly, kind of sometimes just a weird one. I looked at a guy's butt today at CVS. Yeah, who cares? I've looked at quite a few since I've been in LA. Let me talk to you. They're perfect. There's some good asses here. Yeah.

The dude had a haircut that said to me some sort of subculture. He was like a white guy with a weird, like it was an un, like, I'm like, when that haircut is at full strength, it has a lot of product on it. It doesn't have any product in it right now. And for some reason I'm like when that haircut is at full strength that has a lot of product on it It doesn't have any product in it right now and for some reason I'm just like I bet he's got a great ass and he did Yeah, he did a thunderous firm, but

Nuts to have a dope, but as a dude. I don't think I could handle the confidence. No, it's great It's really good. It's one of the things I got five stars. Yeah, I got a cute little but I would love you are very confident man. It comes with the good, but I guess you do have a good but I'm good, but and good hair It's all you need two things that a guy There's a lot of guys who have everything perfect, but those two yeah, and they can't get to the top of the mountain You know what they're doing flailing Flailing. They're just searching for answers. A lot of guys destroy themselves

in pursuit of those two things. Yeah. They find a turkey. God gave it to you. All I got is fucked up feet. Who says he didn't give with both hands? That's right. You seen this ass?

He had a butt ass. Bang! Bang! Got me another sharpentier, put him in the oven. Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha That rules. It's been a long time since I've been like, hey, check that out though. To another person and made them turn around.

Oh yeah. That was a big move back in the day. It's harder when you hang out with your wife all the time. One good thing about my lady is she will definitely be like, did you, did you see that? Did you? Yeah, it's pretty cool.

I just have to tell my wife all the time, like hey, look at your butt. Yeah. Look at your own butt. Look at your butt. Turn around. What a great butt you have. Quick, look at your ass.

Mm-hmm, it's great. Good pic. It's not always sexual too. It's not a reason to be jealous. Somebody's just- I like looking at- I like looking at people. It's great. Good pick. It's not always sexual too. It's not a reason to be jealous. Somebody's just looking at people. Appreciation. It's architectural. Sometimes it's sexual, but it's just, I don't know man.

It's just, I wanna see people. People watching is the greatest thing of all time. Exactly. It's my favorite way to pass time. Exactly. Number one, and odd looking people, odd shaped folks. Oh yeah. And I got a weird butt, so I get it. Keep them coming.

I'm not going crazy. Oh, man. All day long. I want to parade a weirdos. Put me in the freak parade. Absolutely. I've started working at a coffee shop just because I was like, I'm not seeing enough people.

You're the second person who's told me that today. Really? Yeah, Langston's been doing that too, apparently. It's great. Like, I work, like, for The Tonight Show. I work, I go to a coffee shop, like, after my two Zooms are over and I go work there just like all day on my like

So as that as I grew to figure out what you guys were actually saying I was like wait All right, cuz he just said Langston does that too, and I'm like you neither one of you sound like you're kidding I thought you meant like barista at a coffee shop. No No, no, no, no, yeah, okay now I thought You're going out and you see way more people know you just see way more people but yes But it's just like seeing people it's not I feel like it spurs my creativity just seeing seeing the the broad Spectrum of colors that God chooses to paint with you got to be out in it for real like not on a screen

Yeah, it helps everything absolutely that helps everything creatively sharpened here. Oh your first pick my first pick Boy I have a lot It's crazy how many I wrote down so many um I'll go with this one for my first one Cuz I'm pretty sure that was Ricky Martin I think I've seen him before was we're turning around for yeah absolutely Either way, it's a dish. Absolutely. Either way, you're getting an absolute dish. If it looks exactly like Ricky Martin, lucky you.

Absolutely. If it's RM? What a treat. Come on. That man is doing stuff. His lips are devil rays and his skin's the color of mocha. Absolutely. He was thinking about himself.

He was. Devil red, I think. Not devil rays. Her lips are devil rays? Hey, maybe don't fuck me right now. Like a fucking manta ray? Don't fuck me right now. Her lips are like flopped, a couple of flopping manta rays.

Giant, eight feet wide wingspan. It hurts. Big Medusa lips. It hurts because I've never known that until now. Neither honestly? No one's ever pressed me. And I needed to get pressed. And that's cool, man. It's happened to me. And I needed to get pressed. And that's cool man.

It's happened to me almost a thousand times on this show. So it's great to see it happen to someone else. I did think that. You thought it was Devil Ray? I've sang it so loud. In the car, in the, her lips are devil rays. And her skin's the color of mocha.

Cause they stay like, I can see the logic, like they sting, like the kiss-talking. You're giving me too much, there is no logic. No, okay, yeah. That's just what I thought. Devil Red, I think. Yeah, that makes way more sense. I think.

But that's not a term, devil, like a stupid little devil. Is Devil Ray a term? Like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays were a basic. Okay, that's probably where it came from. People call Manta Ray's Devil Ray's because they have those like horny, see-a thing. Horny, see-a thing.

Um. Okay, that's a long. That's a long. You know what Ricky Martin loves? Is a five o'clock shadow and a loose neck sweater. Oh man. With no shirt underneath. I think gay guys have the best five o'clock shadows.

Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. They get that shit at four o'clock. Yeah. Comes early, dude. That's what not having a fucking woman nagging you all the time will do.

Yeah, I get one. That's right, we got a truth teller over here. All right. Got a free thinker in the house. All right. Which of amongst you can wear a sweater with no shirt on underneath What anybody I don't do it. I have nipples Greg. Can you milk me?

Sometimes I do if I just like I'll have a sweater on how what if you even bedtime or something even like a hoodie or a Regular sweatshirt. I've done that I do that at home. I do that all the time. Yeah, but you're a sexual dude Wait, what? Rock sweater no, no undershirt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever do a zip up? No undershirt like you're in Jodeci No, no, no, no, I mean every freaking night and every freaking day Every freaking day. I want to freak your body in every freaking way Sounds pretty vaginal. I want to freak your body out. It does sound vaginal. That sounds mighty vaginal.

I love that song, man. I beat you. It's so good. Oh, I should have taken that for the karaoke song. You should have. That's a good song. My boobs are getting a little loose right now, so I don't feel as comfortable wearing loose boobies.

I'm a little loose boobie. So I don't feel as comfortable wearing any sweater, let alone one with a loose boobie. You're pulling some tightness on there, which I really benefit from right now. Sweater ain't doing you no chest favors. No, no, it will keep no secrets. It keeps no secrets.

The big old thick wool turtleneck with nothing underneath it. No, a thick sweater will keep secrets. But like, he's talking about like a thin, like one of those Boy Meets World joints. I'm talking like something Ricky Martin. A Ricky Martin joint, dude. Where you can just look fucking great.

You can wear it in the spring when it's hot, and you're like, how the fuck? He just pushes up the sleeves and he's fine. He's great, he's better than fine. He's wearing bracelets. Maybe his lips are devil rays. Yeah, he's got little devil ray nipples out. His little stingers.

His nips are devil rays. Maybe that's, his lips are double dicks The skins of color coffee I Think I'm gonna go with the red lips. I think I'm gonna go with the red lips. I think I'm gonna go with the red lips I think I'm gonna go with the red lips. I think I'm gonna go with the red lips I think I'm gonna go with the red lips. I think I'm gonna go with the red lips I think I'm gonna go with the red lips. I think I'm gonna as a her but yeah, his lips are double dicks The skins of color coffee

We're almost there Ricky we're almost there Yeah, that's what you got producers for yeah, yeah the dream was in there dude He's just like tweaked it a little bit you go. We have some sweaters in the green room. You just go kind of Go put them on pull the sleeves up Just kind of get in your zone Go get in the Martin Stadium and then Shout out to Ricky Martin. Yeah, what's up, Ricky Martin? He's a listener time for my pick Yeah, not to go to my phone because I text him to meself

One test me one test me I have to go to my phone because I texted him to meself. I'll text him to meself. Guantessmy. Guantessmy. All right. OK. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. See? All right. Blair was like, what are you doing with the lips? I'm like, it's a guy. It's a dude. It's a thing, dude. You go, all right.

All right. Sharpie got it immediately. I know. Yeah, you did. It took me forever to get it. And I didn't. I had to confess. All right, cool. I just say I don't get it. I didn't I had to confess I just say I don't get it get on my phone here. I'm gonna go to eat dinner and we hope

Do feel like I grew up with these guys You're hungry on the road in a pinch you don't go to fair to get a red apple if you're hungry on the road in a pinch, you can always go to Panera Bread to get a red apple. If you're If you're trying to stay healthy on the road and you're hungry in a pinch, you can always go to Panera Bread to get a wrapped red delicious apple. I think there was a guy named Tanner at Miracosta High School who sounded exactly like that. You went to Miracosta High School? I sure did.

That's the most California thing ever. It's on Amtasia Boulevard. Did you guys have surf class? We sure did. We had both a surf team and a surf club goddamn rock and roll high school Surf clubs the losers was it like dance versus cheer Maybe we're your lockers outside. I think the club actually smoked weed and the team didn't smoke weed I think that's the difference And the team didn't smoke weed blame think that's a difference

We Accidentally swore yeah, I mean the entire fucking school was outside. Yeah, so cool Yeah, but I fucking love it. I want to I would just look like that junior high school. It was very violent Where you're they were outside? In Colorado no no no in Washington before right before I'm in Washington That's just your David we, no, no, in Washington. Before, right before I moved to Colorado. In Washington? That's crazy. Just like David, I just saw it like a month or two ago, right? Was it a lot of trailers?

Like trailers to like, toward the- No, no, no, it was just outdoor hallways. Wow, funky. What? In Washington? Yeah, in Federal Way. That's crazy. Damn, uncovered or covered?

Covered. Covered. Still crazy though. Yeah, oh my God, that's so funny. Sean and me, when we- We were just there. We drove past it. We drove around my old, all my old lawns. Still crazy though. Oh my god that's so funny. Sean and me, when we drove past it, we drove around all my old lawns. That's nuts. There were so many things that freaked me out when I first moved to California and one

of them was seeing- Outdoor schools. Yeah, outdoor schools. Outdoor walkers is jarring. My washer and dryer is outside. California high school is too sexy. Really? Yeah.

In my apartment complex. Your washing, they are. It's fucking weird. Is that okay? Yeah, there's nothing freezing. You're water, they are. It's fucking weird. Is that okay? See it rains, it does rain here. That's crazy. It does. But what about the electricity in the water? It's covered. They're covered.

They're just in the middle of an open parking lot. Which is just insane. But nothing freezes so you can do that. The first time I saw that it blew my mind. What was the name of your middle school? Sagajawea Junior. Damn that would blew my mind. What was the name of your middle school? And this is real I worry that we're on the cusp of sack tapping coming back Like it feels like that's why I wear a cup, dude. Stay ready, gotta get ready. It feels like just like the way comedy

and everything is going, it feels like we're getting close again. Did you, were people still sack tapping? Okay, yes. So maybe it's just a young guy thing. You think older people are gonna sack tap? It's feeling real. You're gonna have to get a little lower

if you wanna tap the sack. Feeling real O2 outside. The logical conclusion of the Joe Rogan experience is sacked Tapping coming back. It's gonna be the sack tap. It's gonna be the BAM punch if sack. Okay, remember BAM punching the What was BAM punching punch that might have just been a shitty kid at our school who did that? We might have a different name for it. I Kyle I. You mean like Bam Margera? Yeah, he would just punch people in the back of the head. Oh yeah. Oh, like bricking?

Isn't that, weren't the kids doing that? Bricking is coming. Oh, so weren't the kids, weren't the kids for a while running up on strangers and hitting them in the back of the head as hard as they could? I need to know, the knockout game wasn't real. The knockout, oh it wasn't? No, it was like made up.

You guys had very violent childhoods. We did not, I don't know. Yeah, we all almost died in the woods. I almost died in the woods not we almost we all almost died in the woods Yeah, I was tied in the woods like three times. I almost died in the woods There's a big swamp behind my house and I used to like traips around back there Yeah, man neck ones like the horse. Yeah Back there in the trees scooting around looking for pornography. Yeah, I was treacherous so hard. There was porn back there once That's what that's what's in the woods

That's what's in the woods It's my turn there's a lot of bad stand-up bits about it. Look it up No, wait a minute, you know, wait a minute, okay Baked good aroma. Oh, yeah the aroma of a baked good It's not always a full turnaround, but it's definitely a head on a swivel situation where I'm like, now, where can I locate where that's coming from and can I get myself involved? That's exactly the question. What do I gotta do to make myself a part of that smell? How often do you do it?

Where you're like, what would you say the percentage is? What, like of my days? Times that you catch a baked good aroma and then you actually turn around and then go get it. And I get myself involved? Because I've been with you where we've done that 10, 20 times. Yeah.

Just watered every city. Less now, I mean less now, you know. But there was definitely, like when we were in Pittsburgh, we found out we smelled some baked goods, we found ourselves in a baked goods situation. That's like when I see a parkour game or something. We also had a huge hot dog. Yeah.

Huh? We also got a huge hot dog covered in pierogies. The pierogi dog. The pierogi dog. The pierogi dog. It had three pierogies, shredded pork, and it was a hot dog. It was shared by three friends. A hot dog that was shared by three friends.

One hot dog? One hot dog shared by three friends. Bro, dog? One hot dog shared by three friends. Bro, it was so big. I wanna see it. So it had like. It was more of a hot horse than a hot dog. It had four little pierogies on it, which those are big anyways.

Yeah, that's a full food. Then a bunch of shredded pork, right? One pierogi for each friend and another for God. And then a big old hot dog and a big old bun. Damn. And a tiny little bun. The hot dog itself was a topping big old hot dog and a big old bun. Damn. The hot dog itself was a topping of the hot dog was of pierogies. Four pierogies. A full sized pierogies.

Four full sized pierogies. And some shredded pork. Shredded pork. How thick is this hot dog? It was a big guy. Oh no no no, it was a long guy. It was a long boy. Long guy, skinny long guy.

Yeah. Classic. But pretty alright. And I think it was like like 13 bucks not The weak link was that was the pulled pork it was not wet it was not live. That's not wet enough Dry Yeah, it was pretty dry that yeah, cuz yeah, I made you young I passed the yonder isek there was a communal you know telepathy. Mm-hmm.

Baked good smell. I live in a neighborhood with a great bakery. I live in between two great bakeries, actually. Doesn't Costin go there sometimes? I see Costin on Glendale Boulevard more than once. He goes to the taco place. Oh, those tacos are fucking good. Fucking good. Little breakfast burritos?

Yes. What's your spot taco as teca? That place is great, too. That's the one in Glendale. Yeah, right by my house. We used to go Yes. So good. What's your spot, Taco Azteca? That place is great too. That's the one in Glendale. Yeah, right by my house. We used to go there. Holy Christ.

Yeah, it's the big old. That's the biggest hot dog I've ever seen. It's a big old boy. That's what she said. Joke. Wow. It's a big old boy. David, can you show it?

That's a big old boy. Show the camera next. Yeah, show the camera. You can watch All-Fans Say Everything on YouTube. You had a mushroom, or you had a mustache pop. I had a big mustache That was probably my mustache at full strength skeins dude skeins dude skeins on the scene Now I'm so weird both of us are sans mustache. Yeah, when did you shave yours? I don't know a couple weeks ago the first time and like I said something to my wife

I was like, I think I'm gonna shave it's been a while. He's like, oh, yeah, I've never seen you with that one. I was like, how do you feel about it when you don't have it? She liked it Yeah, no difference. Absolutely. Don't look that much different. No, really don't it straight It was like it was a statement piece, but it doesn't take that much away when it's gone. It's really weird I feel like I do look a lot different without a mustache. I look way younger You look more different than you look. Yeah, I look a lot younger, at least to me. But then I also look a lot more like my dad. So for me it's very weird, because I look younger and like a 75 year old man.

Yeah, yeah. I look very weird. 75? Something like that, pretty close. I look exactly like my dad. I'm getting, where I see pictures I'm like, good lord. Wasn't he really tall? Six six, six six, three fifty.

You got two growing to do. Two dicks. Six six, two dicks. Two dicks on that motherfucker. Three fifty, hello witty. I love the knees. Wow, you got a lot of growing to do then. Yeah, I'm still growing.

So you're getting there though. Yeah, I'm six two now. Grow about a half an inch a year. My favorite version of this is when it's a bread smell. Should be about 12 feet tall. Yeah. I love that. Ooh, that fresh baked bread smell. There be about 12 feet tall. Yeah. I love that. Ooh, that fresh baked bread smell.

There's an Italian bakery on Eagle Rock. Oh yeah. That just pumps a bread smell out onto the street. They have like a fan that pumps the classic Italians. Okay, yeah. I think I know the one you're talking about. Mm, I love that. Wouldn't it have been great to live in North Beach

and like in San Francisco? Oh my God. I don't know. No, he lives there. But. I love that. We're not in great. I like live in North Beach and like in San Francisco like But like when people did yeah, no, I was just like bread smell pumping out a Some like bakery like that if you go to Cedar Rapids, they have a cereal factory So the whole town smells like cereal like tricks Wow that buck that general mills maybe yeah It's like you know, that's a famous Italian specific mills General Mills, maybe yeah, but it's like Specific Mills You're so goddamn funny

Check Sean time for your first pick a fight. Oh Yeah, oh sure Like to see one. Yeah, you know what again one. What do you well? That's the question? Yeah to see one Oh, that's you one. It's terrifying to get in a fight. Of course it always has been but mm-hmm Just seeing just the action. I don't know just like you can't I have to look Do you ever do that thing where you like numb out and then you kind of don't feel anything? When you look at it one well, they don't really go that islands. It, it's like, I think about it a lot in my head, but when it actually happens, it's always almost like boring.

It's hard to explain. I haven't seen like a gnarly one in a long time. I guess sort of what I'm talking about is like. The Virgil. Yeah, we were drove by the Virgil today. One night I remember a dude, the 7-Eleven employee was outside actually fighting a guy that was in the store.

Wow. Like a real, like a full. Were you not there Ian? No, I don't think so. Whatever we were doing at the Virgil, but yeah, it was. I was there, cause I remember Sean walked up and he was like, they just actually fought. Yeah, well cause you know how normally it's just posturing

and they have some words, maybe somebody touches like a shoulder, but this was like a full on, like knuckled up, hit other. Wow. It was crazy But yeah, see I don't like seeing those I used to like seeing those now I just the posturing is more fun to watch when you know nothing's gonna happen, but it's uh, yeah Oh, I need to break myself of the habit of like I am attracted like I like I feel like if I see a fire I'm like, I'll go break it up. Like that's my job I need to stop doing that because that's not a smart thing. Oh, you don't know the other day

I didn't break shit up. No, it wasn't a fight, but it was like dude. It was downtown Denver actually, which is The participants make it not feel like Denver, but it was Denver a Lambo truck cut these three guys off Whoa three squeak like the squeegee guys Cut some off and the squeegee guys run up on the Lambo truck, the guy gets out of the car and now they're in each other's face. Lot of words I don't understand. I hear pistola and the guy runs to the Lambo truck

and the other guys ran off. I had no inclination. I was not. Damn, no. No one would run if I heard the word pistola or if I saw Lambo truck, frankly. Yeah, it was crazy. But he just like got out and then I was like,

oh, this is cocaine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You hopped out of your lime green Lambo truck to confront three strangers? Yeah. It was lime green. Yeah. That's a key detail.

That's one of the Lamborghini colors. Yeah, that's like Lambo for days. It's also crazy to see a lime green Lambo truck in Denver It was like right downtown just past Union Station right before those steps Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was it was the weirdest place to see it weird. I was watching I was walking the dog So I had a poodle. What am I gonna do? Yeah Nothing nothing. Hey, that's my dog's name. Stop saying pistola. He's gonna come over there. Pistola set. Stella, Stella. He said pistola.

And your second pick? A bee flying around me. Oh! Ooh! Make me turn around like a motherfucker. Sean turn around for the bee. Shh. So that's kind of a spin.

More of a spin turn. All the way around. 360 gentleman's degrees. Okay. I don't want to get stung. It feels like this. Allergic? No, just scared.

I bet I've been stung more recently than you. I've been stung by a bee twice. Wayland, the kid in middle school, slapped a bee on the bus and threw it down my shirt. Jesus Christ! It stung me right on the nipple. Sorry. And then the other time was when the bee broke up

with you, dude. Stung bad. That really stung. Stung bad. The other time I stepped on a bee at a barbecue with bare feet, stung right in the old foot. Been there. Intentionally or unintentionally, stepped on it?

Unintentionally, I'm a nice guy. When did you get stung? Not even a year ago. I was walking in my neighborhood, and a bug got in my hair, and I swatted it out, and it was a bee, and it was just like, yuck! And then bee died.

You feel bad. It hurts like a fucking... It is a... Like the dickens. It really hurts. And then it itches, too, because of the stinger. I don't think I've been stung since I was a kid. I've never been stung.

You've never been stung? What? You shouldn't have said that, dude. You shouldn't have said that. Oh, it's gonna change tonight? We got a closet full of bees. Yeah, dude. We were going to see...

Bees? You went to the closet? Isaac, get in the bee closet. Call back. Don't come out until you've been stung, I say. We were going to TechNine, Head PE, and Cottonmouth Kings one night, and I think it was that show.

And our buddy wanted a ticket, but he couldn't afford it. So we trapped a wasp. We put it on his arm and then put a cup over it. And we're like, this thing needs to sting you and we'll buy your ticket. And it probably stung him 30 times. It was going like bam, bam, bam. And we were like, come on, kid.

He just did it as long as he could. It's maybe the most South Dakota story you've ever told. Wow. He pulls it down, he just did it as long as we could. It's maybe the most South Dakota story you've ever told. Wow. He pulls it down, he's all peppered up, and then we made him pay for his ticket in change. No, we gave him the money, but it was changed, so we had to go pay like 30 bucks to see Tech Nine in quarters.

I bet he would let him in the band if he heard that story. Sorry if I got some of that wrong, Adam. He always comes for me when I fudge a detail. That was Neuroth who did that too? No, it was Joey. But Adam was there. Neuroth's not going out like that. He would have done it for free.

He was a lunatic. He's a crazy bastard, that one. He's a ruffian, a born ruffian. He's a dastardly bastard. A bastardly dastard. Ooh, fun. Time for my second pick. And it's gonna be busting a move on the dance floor.

Damn, yeah, I had that. I had that. That was one of those faster around things. Will you throw a little spin in there? Yeah. Ooh. That's not a full spin, it's a half spin. Well.

I can't do a full spin. I can get a half spin. How often are you wearing hard-sold shoes on the dance floor See that's your that's that's what helps with the full. Are you doing full spins on the dance floor in a hard-soled shoe? It's just a C. Adams playboy. They'll do it for you. I've seen you do a lot of school. You're a good dancer Are you I'm a dancer? Yeah? Yeah? I don't have any can I have some of you? Whatever you're getting off of me

Right now you're a little buzzed let me just play something just get up and do whatever comes natural no All right think about it think about it Isaac be ready to mute this part out I'm gonna get up and go to the bathroom if no Sean. I'm not gonna dance. I think you really I don't like it You're gonna make him dance. Yeah, I think he just needs to get it away. I'd like to see you dance Hard to hard to not dance to this one. I mean, I just don't like dancing See now, I don't believe that you don't like the act of dancing? I don't like it. I would dance if we were all out. Just drop an Igloo Shore song on this part.

One of my very depressing songs. He's just, it's just me going. Yes! How can you not have confidence? That's my question. It's me singing about being cheated on. Hahaha! Yeah! That was great!

It's a passion! Real Mr. Dancer, it's a source of magic! I don't know if you know, I've told these two a couple times, but when I first met Laura, we were at a after party for some festival or show or something, and she made me go dance,

and it was hell allowed, and I'm dancing, and I had a few, and I just screamed, I was like, and I go, why do you like me? Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Yo, that's crazy. I was like, I go why do you like me? Yo, that's crazy. She's like we'll talk about it tomorrow. I said it so loud That's so funny That's great Why do you like it? That's so funny Why do you like it? Yo, that's so funny. That's so funny. Why do you like it? Heavy, intimate conversation to the dance floor. And I knew how dumb it was. I was laughing.

I was like, what's wrong with you? I'm broke and I dance like shit. Oh man. Man. Oh, it's funny. Oh yeah, it was. Man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh Yeah, bustin to move on a dance floor, I love it I love it was off obviously on the list Sharpie your second pick. Okay. Um, let's see We're gonna hear the whole list at the end by by the way, because I don't have a ton, so I'm excited to hear all yours. Oh, okay, great. Let's see.

Ooh, game winning fadeaway at the buzzer. Oh, that's great. That's a great one. Thank you. That's fucking great. Thank you. Your baby turning around even before it goes in, you know. Oh yeah, that's a big one.

Swish. Swish. Man, that's good. Game winner more than anything. It feels so good. Yeah, but you got a hole in one So why don't you shut the fuck up? Well? You too, you know this confidence I don't like this yeah, take it back Pretty good Get a butter knife out and like just stop me up. You idiot. Can your mother sew? Just go on, go on, go on.

Can your mother sew? That's a crazy. What's from Joe Dirt? Oh, get in a so that, boom. What do you say before you shoot someone? I've never seen Joe Dirt. What? It's so funny.

I've never seen it. It's a pretty funny movie. It's the only good thing Kid Rock ever did and he did it well. Okay. Well, and picture. I mean, he used to drink whiskey out the bottle. His first album was good. He also put your picture mean he used to drink whiskey out the bottle his first album was good

He also put your picture away. Yeah, I like the whiskey of the album was no wasn't No was not and I would not be I'm not this isn't a cool thing, but ball with the boss sucked That's all bad rules I don't like this song either. I think that song sucks. That song is awesome. I think that song rules. I think that song kinda sucks. Isaac put the horses over this.

I think you might even think that song sucks. It's just been a while. Give it a spin. It has been a long time. Let's hear it. Cowboys good? No, that's not a good one. Better than Bawah to Bawah.

I am the, I am the bull god. No, Ian Carmel. I don't even know that one. You're reading titles, you're not listening to songs. I'm hearing them in my head. I got one for you. No, Ian Carmel. I don't even know that one. You're reading titles, you're not listening to songs. I'm hearing them in my head. I got one for ya. Yeah, exactly. If you think you got a good one, baby.

Nope. I got one for ya. Honestly, you might be right, cause now you're digging into something that I've never heard. Method don't pop. I really like this album. You're just sitting before a football.

My name is Ian. Ian Carmel. I definitely yelled that. You're just staring at a fucking nose tackle. Devil without a Cosm going platinum. No. No, the song's all blow. Well, I don't mean it's dope. I'll listen to it on the drive home.

Okay, tell us how you feel though. I'll check right in. I promise I will. Sit in the driveway until Dana comes outside. Come outside! Bring Arthur! Get the baby! He's gotta learn. Is that one of those things,

do you ever do stuff where Dana's like, she just doesn't, she's like, what? You're in the key of listening to Kid Rock right now? She usually leads me to my devices. Ha ha! Alana's like, yeah, it seems to do that. I'll go in, I'll watch skate videos in the other room, same thing, it's like, it's the thing I'm doing, you know.

It's weird right now. It's for me. It's just weird right now. It's weird right now. Mm-hmm. She'll, I don't like when there's another person in the room when I'm playing video games, and she'll come out and hang out and wanna like,

be a couple, but she's like, I'll just read my book and you can play your video game. And I don't like it. Cause I don't like it. Now I'm comparing myself to you. I don't like to be perceived while I'm doing this. Yeah, you're doing a good thing. I'm rotting. I want to not exist while this is happening.

That's my main thing that I get out of playing video games. Well you play porno video games though, right? Yeah, I play Leisure Suit Larry. You play POV AI porn video games. Yeah, I play Leisure Suit Larry. You play POV AI porn video games. You got the obvious one. I can see why that'd be uncomfortable then in front of the wife. I play like porn VR games from the Czech Republic. In a hockey jersey and no pants You should take them off cuz you're sweating so much. Oh Dana. I did how long you been reading?

On the couch like a gargoyle like in a Get him up there this is my downtown New York library. I had a hard week. I want everybody to get them up there. Yeah. It's kind of cool, right? Oh, it looks like you're doing the butterfly. Come, my lady, come, come, my lady. Oh, no. That makes it 10 episodes in a row that you've referenced Crazy Town? Siri, play butterfly.

Isaac, end the podcast. They're gonna have to put a silent gene before butterflies. Not this one. All of them. AFE's overdue. Nah, it's not over. Nah, we're having a good time. We're just heating up. Did you just fart and it sounded like a text? No, my phone vibrated. It sounded like a text. So you got a text and it sounded like a text.

I wanted it to be a vroom vroom fart. I am so unflexible that this is hurting me. My knee, it's here. So you got a Texan, is that right? I wanted it to be a boom, boom fart. I am so unflexible that this. Does that hurt? My knee, it's here. It's like where my- Get him down, get him down. My knee's connected to my knee.

No, I think I need to stretch it out. I was hoping everybody was gonna get in there. I really do need to start doing some yoga. I wish, I don't have any time for like physical fitness outside of walking, cause I, well, it's boring. David. Disrespect. Oh.

Oh. I was really thinking about it earlier and I was like, I've never turned around for disrespect and regardless of what happened, I've never been mad at me for it. So someone disrespects you. Just like somebody says something that it warrants like, stop, turn around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I was thinking like in the kumite when Chun-Li kills that guy and all the judges like turn their back on him. That kind of disrespect. Oh! That's not what we're talking about. They're pretty good.

Different kind of turn. No, I was just talking about, somebody's like, Sean, you're an asshole, and you're like, what? Oh, and then I turn around like, yeah, I was just talking about something. It's like, Sean, you're an asshole, and you're like, what? Oh, and then I turn around like, yeah, I am. You turn around. Yeah, you turn around. You're a derelict.

You never, you never, I feel like you never feel bad on yourself for showing up. Yeah, no. You showed up to turn around. Mm-hmm. I turned around on a guy pretty recently. I don't think I should repeat this story on this podcast. Don't. I mean, tell us and you can black bar it

I told it on emotional, but that's behind the paywall That's behind the paywall with a much smaller audience like an Isaac's like no he shouldn't know you shouldn't you shouldn't tell the story Hold on. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I want to hear it later. I'll share it later bookmark it All right cool Disrespect I guess subscribe to that subscribe to emotional Dollars a month go back a few episodes. Tell that doesn't matter how long ago was it recent? Cannot wait um I'm surprised. I didn't tell you guys. Here's

Here's one. I will share. I this is another turnaround I got this respect Because it was weird. And it involves kind of a sensitive issue. But I'm not commenting on all of the sensitive issues. You were voting. I was voting. Someone said, aren't you a felon? No.

I was walking down the street in Glendale Boulevard, the neighborhood I live in, where I recently saw you. Yeah. I'm wearing a Larry David t-shirt that just says Larry David on it with Larry David's picture on it, you know. I love Larry David. Saw it a few weeks ago.

Wait, is this the other day when you were wearing one? This was a couple days ago. Monday. This was not Monday, this was a, but it was like Friday, it was right before. So I'm walking in the street and one of those clipboard people yells out, you're a Zionist!

That's crazy. And I turned around and I was like, what? She's like, Larry David's a Zionist, so when you wear his shirt, you're a Zionist. And I was like so discombobulated by the entire thing. So you fought her. I fought her right there where I stood. And then I turned around and I was like,

well, there's a fight going on. I was just like, I was just like, what? That's, that's anti-Semitic. Like what you did right there, because that is actually anti-Semitic. Also, nobody likes Larry David because of his views on any issue. It's his comedy.

Except for like, ordering salad at restaurants. Right, they love him for his views on that. And I got far enough into it that I explained to her, I'm like, to the point where, anytime I'm in a conflict, there's always like, half of it is me being like, kind of like wound up, and then the other half, I'm like, well, this is funny. Every time.

Did you have your voice raised, or was it? It was like, probably the volume I'm speaking right now. But I'm a big guy, so that can be, you know. But halfway through it, when I got to the this is funny phase, I was like probably the volume I'm speaking right now. But I'm a big guy, so that can be, you know. But halfway through it, when I got to the this is funny phase, I was like, you know, this is kind of a situation that Larry David was in himself. Did she laugh?

No! She never thought it was funny! And I was like, oh, I thought that was, I think that's a very funny perfect situation. So I was like, I hope I never see you in my neighborhood again, and I'm leaving. But it was just like, hey listen, don't do that to someone if they're just wearing

a Jewish guy on their shirt. That's a crazy thing to do. Crazy, and I bet our views were- Hey, I don't support North Korea. Right, even though you're wearing a Dennis Rodman jersey. I appreciate you saying that. And, oh hell yeah. I bet our views were closer than they were far apart,

but you were just like fucking way out of pocket on that. But I had to turn around on that. I couldn't just keep walking. Yeah, you gotta turn around sometimes. Yeah. That's that story, but that's not even the story. Sure, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Trust me, you'll be telling me. Oh, go pee. Oh, dude. I love it when I'm in a situation with a outsider with friends where I can just turn around and pee. Oh, dude. I love it when I'm in a situation with an outsider with friends where I can just turn around and pee. Oh, okay. Now do you start peeing and then turn around?

Maybe it's a, no. I don't know. You guys, I'm gonna be a little piss swirl. And then you just like micro correct. You guys, check this out. It's like starting to pee before you jump in the pool. Are you talking about turn your penis around when you're doing it?

Well, dirty cowboy. I love it, it's always the woods or something like that or a bonfire or something like that, but you just like, I gotta go pee real quick and you just turn around and piss. I did that kind of turnaround the other day where I was leaving the coffee shop and I was like, I should pee,

and then turned around and walked back in. I used the bathroom. Oh, that's different than what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't mean in a toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah.

I like that. That's a really good one. Sometimes I'll just go in my backyard and piss. You ever go in the sink? Sog, it's one of the main reasons I wanna buy a house. That's what I'm saying. I wanna go back there. Oh wait, you have two bathrooms.

Did you ever go in the sink when it was a one bathroom situation? I stayed at McMenamins four days ago and I went in the sink. I was at one of those McMenamins with no bathroom in the room. They have like community bathrooms, like it's a dorm. What's a McMenamins?

Like a chain of restaurants and hotels in Oregon. But I was with the Scars and they, oh, I can't, oh, I don't know if I can say it. They might be bummed. Anyway, I was like, I'm gonna pee in the sink for sure. And then, yeah, I mean, everybody in those sinks, that's what they are. They're like just places to pee. Now this is coming from a place of privilege as a tall man.

Oh, check yourself, dude. You know who's never pissed in the sink once? Me. Not once. I've never pissed in the sink. That would be crazy if I did it, because I would have to... I'm a short king as well.

I would have to... Well, Ian Pooch's in the sink. I would have to, Archie. You are the king, big time, of the shorts. Yeah, you'd have to really clean it up there. I'm going to go pee in the please oh we're gonna take a second break And we're back Welcome to all fantasy everything the thinking persons podcast I Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. The Thinking Person's podcast.

I was typing fuck you to Shane when you said the Thinking Person's podcast. Do you find out about Belly? Then I deleted it to him. No, no, he's not gonna find out until this comes out. Don't say anything. I want him to be like, what? Or I just want him to be like, hey,

because to him, he did it. So I want him to have to, hey, because to him, he did it. So I want him to have to be like, who could have, how could this have happened? Well, you know you might think he's been hacked, but just by someone who wants to watch belly. Right, if you think you got hacked, right. If that's the only charge and you change your passwords, then I welcome you doing all the work

because that's foolish to think. A prank well delivered? Yes. A prank well. your passwords then that's, I welcome you doing all the work because that's foolish to think. A prank well delivered? Yes. A prank well. Hi, my name's Prank Well Jordan. Prank Well Jordan, Jordan Prank Well. Jordan Prank Well, get in.

Whose pick is it, Sharpie's pick? Yes. Sharpie's pick. Is it coming over here? Yep. All right. Let's see. Is it coming over here? Yup.

All right. Let's see. Mm-hmm. Well, we're just talking about it a different way, but this is what I'm gonna go with. So I can sleep on my belly. Oh my God, dude. Daddy.

I feel like I've never been on this show before. Trust me, daddy. This is so good. You too. Thank you. That was so good. Yeah. Yeah. Cheese and rice. Well, you know, that's all I have. That was so good. Yeah, yeah.

Cheese and rice. Well, you know, it's all I have. And I can't sleep on my back. I get tired on my back, flip to the tummy every single night. You get tired on your, what are you talking about? I lay and I get tired on my back. I lay in bed and I get tired on my back. So I start for probably 15, 20 on my back

until I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep. Oh, I see, I see, I see. I thought you meant that you lay on your back. I fucked it up. I did too, I did too. I thought the exact same thing. I'm like, well yeah, you're in bed. You're gonna get tired.

You know what I love about you, Sean? You just lower it over me? You're in bed, you idiot. You know what I love about you, Sean? You truly have a reason for all your processes. You say shit and we clown you and we're like, what? Oh, that's so crazy.

But you always, everything you do, you have a process in a way that you've gotten to it. And I think that's really admirable because I live in chaos. Yeah, and that's what you love about it. And I don't know anything about you. But I'm- What?

Two in one episode. Oh! All right. Four more years. You did it. Four more years. Can we get a still of my face the second the hat gets, cause I bet I'm like...

Oh, I think the fans are gonna make a super cut of every single one. I hope so. From the last six. Yeah. You've never done it back. You've never done it back. Is it cause it would be hack?

I'm nice. It would be hack. Yeah, you I'm nice. It would be hack. Yeah, you're my friend. It would be hack, dude. Just gonna uppercut you. A lot of people have been calling me sweet and spicy mix. What are those?

Are you just grabbing snacks saying who you are? Damn it. I missed. I missed on the first one. Did you see me miss? I did. Now I'm gonna get him cause I feel bad. That was the worst thing ever. He missed pretty bad. You were like cat potted. I went. I did now to get him cuz I feel bad

Like a cat I hit a guy like that one time in the face a bunch of these bunch of those You yo yo you closed fist and still slapped cap on him Wow. I will tell a how old were you? 28 I will tell a short version of the story Somebody told me that this guy did some stuff to a girl that was uncouth And so I was like get outside right now. I can't somebody I had I had my shorts on Because I was nervous to go do it. When was this? Where? When? Tommy Chacks, obviously.

2008, right before I moved to Portland. And then I were outside and I was like, oh yeah, but I just was like, did you do this, whatever? And I cat-pawed him a couple times and then I was like, whatever, dude. And I just walked away. It was lame.

Because you weren't gonna get in a fight, right? Like that's what it was. I was trying to I Had heard he had done some stuff to a woman that you know was really bad No, no that part makes total sense. No, no you were honored. Yeah, but like but I'm like, what am I gonna go? Why did you not slap him? Well, I don't I don't know why I felt it's a it's a it's a bad middle it Yeah, what's like it's a cat paw. It's like You know what happened? You know what happened? You were like, do I want to wear pants?

Do I want to wear shorts and you put on capris? Suit jacket with sweat pants capris on his face like a popular Nelly album Yeah, no long it would take for you if you started wearing capris, for that to stop being something that got to me? Well, they're called shants. Like, I had some where they were swooshy cargo pants from the Gap, and you could cinch them right here. Yeah, yeah.

And I did that. Oh, like Chad Muska? Often, like Chad, exactly like Chad Muska. My buddy Nick did it way more, but I did it a few times. If you were actively skating, I'd be cool with it, but I'm talking capris, dude. I'm not talking about a cinch that tight like capris with the little Like his face that like Jennifer Lopez used to wear like yeah

Yeah, if you were in some that'd be insane you weren't some Jenny from the block And they were orange I hope it wouldn't take very long oh wait for you to not be mad about it Yeah, I hope it wouldn't happen. Well. No let me let me live Don't be mad over ever about it, okay? Those peanuts are going on the ground. Are you a belly sleeper? They're not going on the ground. You don't have it I don't need to guard you, it's not going in. Are you a belly sleeper all night? Buddy, I'm barely a sleeper. Who knows?

I sleep maybe like four hours a night. Are you not a good sleeper? Terrible. Is it always been that way? Always. Interesting. I think who knows? You don't look tired.

Thank you. I do sleep better on my belly. For sure. I go have I go like I'll start on back and then I'll go on belly and then I inside That's a inside and side. I Was like I do side belly with a leg I wear a CPAP machine so I'm never like almost all belly anymore You got a saws all a hole in your side, but you sleep great now. You know what's crazy about CPAP She's gotta sawzall a hole in your bed. But you sleep great now. But you sleep great now. I sleep amazing.

You know what's crazy about CPAP? She's hepatite, I don't need that shit no more. Hey. It's fucked. GLP. I'm on it, I guess I don't even know if I need it anymore. You should try. I keep wearing it just in case.

Try without it one night. Did a doctor tell you not to? No, I just, one night I fucking accidentally fell asleep and I woke up and I was like, yo, was I snoring? And she was like, yo was I snoring and she was like not at all interesting Just want to do a sleep study again just in case and maybe I should too. That's what I should really do I should do a sleep study now What is making it so that you don't snore anymore?

GLP one GLP one I've podcasted too much. I've podcasted too much. Yeah, I just I just maxed out. We've all hit our limit I just maxed out. Mm-hmm Break through it. I don't know why I did that. I don't even do that. No, you don't you I mean You've known me a long time ever see me do anything like what you do. I did that. I don't even do that. No, you don't. You've known me a long time. Long time. You've ever seen me do anything like that? What'd you do? I mentioned it. I always said, I went, GLP One.

I'm glad you did an encore. It was crazy. It was the second time. I'm glad you did an encore. It sucked. It sucked. It sucked. If you're just listening, he said GLP One

and then fl flick this tongue like Like who like a David like David Caruso who could he even compare it to I don't know who's fast Yeah, you're good at it. I can't do it like that How many I need some room tone I need room tone room tone These are go into my ears, and I'm hearing how did feel To hear that yeah, I know your ears are gonna start coming, dude And everybody else out there in listener-ville, you're welcome, bro. They're still, well, they are, this is fun.

These last two have really been nuts. I just keep telling myself. Like we've really, it's like an insane energy, we've really. It's nice, it's nice in here. Yeah, I love it. It feels homely. No, I got my pics on here,

because I use it on my computer. With my third pic, I'm gonna take, okay, I'm gonna take, somebody yelled something that kind of sounds like my name. Come on. Big one, that was big time on the list. Or Ethan, or even, like you just kinda, you think you hear your name, it often, it's almost never that.

Sometimes it is, sometimes it's Ian, and then you're like oh. I bet if I was trying to get your attention, well I call you Ian, but I bet you most people would say Carmel. I don't think that, you think so? I don't know. If you're far away.

I think people who don't know you call you Ian Carmel. When I was on the Late Late Show. You're a full namer. I got it to Carms, where everybody's called me Carms. That took a while, right? It felt good, I got it there. It was natural, because you can't be like, call me Carms, it got there.

It got there, and I was very comfortable with it. So they all call me Carms. Ian, I don't know, I don't, well like if it was like Rojo Perez, I wonder what he would yell out. Ian. Ian, I think Ian too, yeah. Shout out to Rojo.

He doesn't seem like a guy who yells on the street. No, I ran into him in the farmer's market. And what did he say? Hey Ian. Hey, he came up and rubbed my belly very gently. It was wonderful. He's one of the most pleasant people I've ever been around. That's what I mean about Rojo. He's not.

We'll get Rojo on. It was really nice. Has Rojo ever done this? I don't think so. Oh, that'd be a treat. Anyway, yeah, Rojo rules. Carmel. Carmel.

Dig Carmel. Just something that kind of sounds be a treat. Anyway, yeah, Rojo rules. Carmel. Carmel. Dig Carmel. Just something that kind of sounds like your name. And you're like, huh? Huge. You can full turn around. Yeah, yeah.

And you know what, it's often a relief when it's not. Cause you're like, oh, I'm off the hook. Yeah, I don't feel like it. I didn't feel like talking right now. Thank God. If I wanted to be hanging out with that person, I already would have been. I fucking would, dude.

Yeah, all right. Cause I run my life. Fucking girlfriend. Sean, Tumper, your pick. Going up the stairs when the basement's dark. I always turn around. Oh, to get a second look. Just to, because I'm like,

to make sure that nothing's following. I'm sort of freaked out about the dark basement. I'm walking up, I feel vulnerable, so I always turn around and like. Get a second peek. Every single time. You don't have a basement now, do you? up, I feel vulnerable, so I always turn around and like. Get a second peek. Mm-hmm, every single time. You don't have a basement now, do you? No, whenever my moms, whenever my moms and I have to shut all the lights off

in the basement, I go upstairs, I run pretty quick, and then I always look back when I get to the top. Now? Always. I'll be scared of the dark forever, you know this, I can't sleep like. Oh, we've talked about you. The kind of dark force that would lurk in your basement

will not be deterred by you turning around. It's a stern look when I turn around. It is? Yeah, it's sort of like George McFly, like get your damn hands off her kind of thing. I shake my finger at the basement. The look of a man practiced in Taekwondo? I just turn around.

I still, Laura clowned me the other day because sometimes when I hear noise, it just like that instinct, because I was in Taekwondo for so long. I just turn around. I still, Laura clowned me the other day because sometimes when I hear noise, it just like that instinct. Cause I was in Taekwondo for so long and I did it. There was like a dish fell or something and I turned and got ready and she's like, what the hell?

What the hell? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You don't know what it was like. It felt wild cause she was, she's so, she never talks shit or makes fun of anyone. And then she's like she never talks yet or makes fun of anyone. Yeah, and then she's like Yeah, all right, all right, all right, let me live in the world

What are you gonna beat the shit out of the dish it's a home invasion I said Yeah, you said that I thought home and Blasian. Home and Blasian, dude. Just a bunch of black and asian guys hanging out. I got my drumstick hands ready. You're like, should they be saying that word? I guess. I don't know the rules on Blasian in a way.

Laura and I shouldn't be saying it. Isaac? I have no idea either. When me and Laura are in our house, we shouldn't be saying it. That's what I'm saying. It shouldn't come up. Do you guys talk about Blasian a lot in the crib? we shouldn't be saying it. That's what I'm saying. It shouldn't come up. Do you guys talk about blazions a lot?

It shouldn't work its way into conversation. Yo, no, I'm just saying, cause we do all the time. We know it's all the time. Lauren and I talk about Protestant redheads. Translucent skin, Protestant redheads. My fourth pick is when someone looks like they're gonna beef it on a bird scooter.

Or like a lawn scooter. When someone is just kinda where you're like, what? When I lived downtown at the loft, when I had the loft, yeah, that I was pretty, so many times I'd be outside smoking weed, like, especially if it was like Friday, Saturday, Sunday night, because I was right by Larimer and you just, some drunk lady, some drunk guy. The crashes on those things are so bad that you start to feel like maybe they shouldn't be in CDs.

Yeah, well because you can get a D like a DUI on those you should be able to. I think you can. Yeah. But I bet I don't know if anybody's... I bet it's a low hit rate. That maybe I'm maybe I'm out of line here, You should... that... maybe I'm... maybe I'm out of line here, but if I were like proper drunk, that would probably be more dangerous to me than driving a car. Now, maybe not to everyone I'm involved with or whatever, but like the scooter aspect could go worse for me than the car. Maybe. Maybe. I will say, and I've never sounded like more of an old man, they just go way too fast.

Way too fast! And people are on the sidewalk? Yeah, it's crazy like you got to be good on those things Yeah, I've never been on one. I've never done it. It's crazy. I don't want the pity. Don't go. I emptied it, dude Huh, I emptied it. Don't want to knock the pin. It's out of my hand a stuff in your mind win again You lose I just fucking shove it Full waffle whoa, I don't even know what the awful waffle was I'm gonna fucking shove it in your mouth. Awful Waffle. Whoa. I don't even know what the Awful Waffle was. You get an Awful Waffle with not a heck fat in Salute.

You get an Awful Waffle with Fat Kid. You know what Awful Waffle is. I don't. In Salute Your Shorts, they poured syrup on them. They did it to Sponge. Oh, I thought it was something different completely. No, I never knew what it was. I'll save my take.

They were chanting Awful Waffle, like taking Sponge. You guys remember Salute Your Shorts? Yes. I thought it was. I'll save my take. They were chanting Awful Waffle, like taking sponge, you guys remember Sweet Shorts? Yes. I never watched it. I thought it was one of those weird jerk-off games you heard about white dudes playing. No, that's Soggy Biscuit.

That's Soggy Biscuit. Jinx. Damn. I roast my case. You owe me a Steven Covert Coke. I don't know anyone who actually plays Soggy Biscuit though. Nobody does. I've only, I think it's, well.

You don't know anybody who had a a rainbow party It seems like an urban I mean, it's about getting a bunch of head It is 9pm guys. Oh that's awesome. That is so dope. What does the rainbow party mean? That's the breakout. Nothing else other than, is that a black guy?

That's it. And the point? Oh man. You did, you sounded like you figured something out. It's true. Ian's career is over. No. Maybe in 2018 it would have been, my friend. No, you're about to hit your Garry Owen face.

His career has shifted, as well. You're about to hit your Garry Owen face. Yeah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

See? No, Ian only does improvs in the south now. He fucking crushes dude. No I swear to God I was at the Houston improv, it went nuts. No Bum B was there, he gave him a Trill burger. Yeah what are we on the Lime Skitter one? Oh you picked that right?

I did right, that was my fourth. Yep. Come from my fourth pick. And I think a good reason to turn around is every now and then I feel a little bit lonely and you're never coming around. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit terrified

that the best of all my years have gone by. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you'll never come around. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit down and then I see the walking look in your eyes. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit down and then I see the walking looking your eyes. Turn around.

Turn around. Turn around. Yeah. I watched Old School the other day and the Dan Band version. I can't not do the Dan Band version. I don't know how the other version survived. You have to say fuck.

I need you now tonight. I fucking need you more. He does this thing, he's like, I fucking need you now tonight. I fucking need He's like I fucking need you more and he look he's got the goatee he just looks so like hilarious He's got me crazy move crits red facial hair in general. It's tough. It's a nice. He always wonder about pubic hair It's red. I mean go for it. Yeah, it's red. No, I just have never encountered it I never I got a gray one intimate with a person. I have a gray one. You have a great pubic hair I still haven't crossed that bridge. I crossed it like a week ago. That's exciting. Yeah, multiple great chances That's that I don't even have a lot of gray hair except for one corner of my beard I've got some great thing. I've got a lot of gray head hair and some gray facial hair on me

You started graying kind of early. Early gray, it's yeah. My shit, it is hella gray, right? You started graying in your 30s solid. Mid-30s. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mid-30s, yeah. I kinda wish it would just go. All gray?

Shut the fuck up. Nah, dude. You don't wish it would, you do not wish it would just go. You don't think I'd look cool? No, you'd look bad. No, you'd look cool, but. It's gonna go, so it will be on gray. It's gonna go. No, you would look good, but I think in due No, you look bad. No, you look cool. What's gonna go, so don't, it will be awkward. What's gonna go?

No, you would look good, but I think in due time, in due time. Okay, this doesn't, to me it looks like just dirty right now because there's a weird mix, it looks like a light. That's salt and pepper, man. A bald guy just crashed his car listening to you talk. Kyle, every time we're out on the road and I put a hat on or I complain,

he's like, yeah, I almost really suck. And then he's just like, yeah, all right, all right, all right, I gotcha. You said Kyle is like that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's bald. I never thought. He knows.

Kyle Canane likes Crazy Town, by the way. Does he? No, wasn't that like a month ago? That we said Kyle. Siri, play Crazy Town. I can't remember. But yeah, the Bonnie Tyler song. Yeah. Total eclipse of the heart.

That's Bonnie Tyler? Yeah. I didn't know that. What else is Bonnie Tyler? I need a hero. I'm holding up for a hero till the end of the night. The thinking person's fun. He's gotta be strong, he's gotta be tough,

and he's gotta be fresh from the fight. Sparkly. What'd you say? He's gotta be strong, he's gotta be tough, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight. Sparkly. What'd you say? He's gotta be sparkly white. Is that not what she says? Fresh from the fight. That's what I hear. Say something.

You say something. No! How about no? We're gonna get, by the way, from here till episode 500, we're doing all Austin Powers quotes all the time. How about no? Mr. Bigglesworth? Ian, Scotty Doon. Scotty Doon? Scotty Doon? do it's pretty good

It's not mine, baby It was all sixes and sevens Babies, you know It is like Chris yeah? Yeah. Crap. Let's see here. Thumb drum. Okay. Hang on, I can't hear you, I gotta turn this fucking thing off.

Oh, that's so good. God, you're so dope, dude. That's so good. Yes. Thank you. That's so good. What, you turn it off, like you got the Jenny running too loud or something? No, whatever it is, I can't hear good. When you turn it off, like you got the Jenny running

too loud or something? Whatever it is, I can't hear you. I gotta turn it off. I gotta turn it on to get this fucking thing off. That's a construction aspect. Thanks. Whatever it is, I can't hear you. In a good way, in a good way.

Yeah, that was for sure a construction aspect. Oh God, that's tight. It could be a lot of stuff though. Oh, could it be a hairdryer? A fan, it could be too loud. One of those weird Ryobi radios that your boss got oh, yeah, dude this company sucks I gotta I gotta just got a brand new Ryobi lawnmower. They're homeowner. They're not like Yeah, it could be Sean running his big fat mouth

Turn this fucking thing off punch me in the throat will you shut up? I'm gonna turn this fucking thing off. He just punched me in the throat. Will you shut up? You stupid ugly prick. Dumb Irish. You Irish pig. Protestant. Yappy.

Yappy little Irishman. Fucking worthless Mick, be quiet. I'm not doing that one. Worthless Mick? Jesus. Wow. Be quiet. I'm not doing that one. Worthless Mick? Jesus. Wow. Isaac, stop.

It's fine. I can't say that? Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh shit. What'd you say, Isaac? No! No!

Give me that. Give me that. Turn his TV off. We finally got him. Turn his TV off. We finally got him. He stepped into the bear trap, dude. Now we'll release that!

Alright? Isaac, isolate that. Looks like we've got ourselves a good old fashioned Irish standoff. Holy buckets. That's a great pick. Good job. Do you have time for your fourth and then your final picks pick Take it a big fat poop. Yep. That was on my list. Why do you turn around?

We turn around to the toilet it you sit like slay To look back at it stand up and look at it before I flush Yeah, see and I turn around to take a poop because I'm not gonna do that facing forward forward You're facing some kind of I'm facing the toilet Rest your head on the tank Like a cool substitute pooper My god if I if I wasn't so modest it would leave the door open and look oh, Laura

What are you doing? That's the funniest thing to have your girlfriend or wife walking on you Just shooting backwards all guys do it like this Dude that would Where it's skinny? What? Come on. Renee, I ran out of toilet paper. Can you come in here?

Show it sideways. Thanks, babe. Thanks, man. Thanks, man is so funny. Thank you, bro I like to face East and shit. Yeah, all right. I said like a gargoyle myself Thanks waving I did that I did this before I met you okay. Yeah, some to some houses the toilet faces these so houses It doesn't sorry. I was having a panic attack, so I just had to face Jerusalem and shit five times a day

Are you looking to see if your hand is shaking kind of oh Jesus? I don't know what I thought was happening There's a goddamn badger in here Jesus. I don't know what I thought was happening. There's a goddamn badger in here. I don't know what a badger is. I need some room tone please for a minute. That's it. Man, and then, no. And then my last one is, because it's late,

my last one is scaring a child. Oh yeah. Totally. Great pick. That's a really good one. Arthur loves it. They, because it's like, I think they just like to feel a lot. Yeah. You know what I mean. Yeah. That's really good. Arthur loves it. They, cause it's like, I think they just like to feel a lot. Yeah.

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like good, bad, or sad. It's just like a rush of emotion. He, like his crying and laughing, like there's a very thin membrane between those two things. My littlest brother was like that, where it was like, he would get him,

and he would like, tickling or whatever, scaring or whatever, you would get him so worked up that like, at the top of it, it was also laughing. Yes. And then you're like, this thing is, like, cause he's not even a man yet, it's just like, you're like, this thing is unhinged. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This thing is nuts. He's off the hinge. He's literally, like, he's just like, it's laughing and it's crying and it's just like, oh, you're just like feeling a lot. Absolutely. Turned out to be probably my funniest brother. There you go tickle your brothers folks well

Your brothers take your brothers here at the man tickle your brothers particularly your bros to tickle your bros Dude, we're such good friends Now bro, I don't take naps either Bro tickle your way into a butterfly knife wound You know I got it stab you fucking shit wish sniffing your armpits. I'm wiping my face up cuz I'm sweating What makes your call an attention? Hey sweat pig, what are you doing? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

What if he was smelling his pits? I smelled him earlier and I was right. Yeah, I caught it all every time. Yeah, so did the camera, I'm sure. Can't wait for everyone to see it. Smells great. I smell great. I almost always smell great.

Yeah. I'm okay. I don't think I stink. What a crazy thing to say. I pretty much always smell good. I almost always smell great. Like really good, actually. Yeah, I I don't think I think I pretty much always know Really good actually One of my things 24 7 365 smell great Pride myself on it good for you. Hang my hat on it 365 the amount of days in a year. That's right. Mm-hmm

100 anyway, that's the percentage I smell good That's right. 100. Let's delete it. Anyways. 100, that's the percent of days I smell good. This has been weird. Before we finish round five, I just want to say this three days, I love you guys so much. It's so fun to be so funny. We should not do six and three

You did five more different ones I did 11 and three Yeah, I think I think that maybe that's too many. I think I can do six and three if I don't work that day Yeah, like I don't Really know what's happening anymore. Although this has been great. This is really funny I think so hit us up in the comments If this has been great smashing like bro, I'm having a great time. I don't know if it's good. I think it's good It's really good. It's good. It's good. It's great. I've had some real laughs. Okay, cool I'm just really happy to see Chris. Yeah, I appreciate that. So it doesn't really matter. I really love you man

I haven't seen you guys. I've known you since I met you before I started comedy. Isn't that crazy? That's nuts. Whoa comedy forever. How'd you guys meet? Sam T. I was at your wedding right Sam T. That's right In the house I see you both my teeth we see Sharpie down for your final pick. Um, okay, I'm gonna say Because that's no exit friend that's a whale's mouth You know No, I don't know. What is that like a Moby Dick thing? Then I'm going that way you're thinking that's an exit. That's a whale's mouth. I'm going that way

Yeah, exactly. Like Jonah and the whale in the Bible? Sure. Or by anybody who's been swallowed by a Bible, or by a whale. Or by a Bible. But they got tricked into it. That's what I'm saying. Oh yeah, just leave.

I'm not getting tricked into it. Leave right there. Yeah. Oh, that exit? Just right there. No way. Is that a phrase? You better be careful where you're going. There's a whale's mouth over there. You better be real careful where you're going

Is that a phrase no, no, it's not a phrase. I like it Figure it's a good last pick. Oh, yeah Yeah, but that's great I didn't like it. You guys know it's really I this is deodorant. I didn't do six in three days There's my only pocket there's gonna mess around I got himself swallowed by a whale. Yeah better be careful I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know well try to just open your ears and more importantly, maybe your heart right now My friend?

You could open your fart. Mm-hmm. Pfft. Isaac, cut that up. Isaac, Isaac, do cut that up. Yeah. I know we joke around a lot, but cut that up. All right, so.

That was stupid. That's no exit that the whale's mouth has taken. That one didn't make sense. I liked it. Awesome. Wipe your head in towards the whale's mouth is taken. That one didn't make sense. I liked it. Awesome. Wipe your head towards the whale's mouth. Someone calls out as to make you. Who calls out the other guy in the mouth of the whale?

Maybe your first mate. Yeah, a do-gooder. Could be the ghost of. Classic do-gooder. The ghost of an old sailor. Guys, I need some chicken tenders. It could be the ghost of an old sailor. It could be your first mate. It could be another captain of an old sailor. It could be your first mate.

It could be another captain. Maybe you're the first mate, and it's your captain. A deckhand? A young deckhand. The son of a governor. You got a little... Who's taken aboard... Tuft of hair sticking out of the back of your hat at 21st. Is it mine?

You killed Sharpie. The son of a governor who's been... Who's aboard your boat as a shipman's mate. This is nonsense Maybe it's another prop pirate. I hate podcasts Common your captain Nemo himself common your I don't know what's happening And I don't know how to communicate that I'm scared Sharpie. Will you do your film Seymour Hoffman laugh? It's so good. I just said calmer than you are that's what reminded me of it because it's from the big Lebowski Go run you are Time for my final pick

Oh, you see a dude with a cat on a leash Yeah, or a cat in a baby be your a cat in a baby you're well for sure I gave me same thing or a cat one of those globular backpacks. I was just gonna say Yeah, have you ever thought about trying to get those for your cats? Oh, yeah, my cat didn't do it. I've been thinking about it in the move to LA I've been thinking about it heavily. You keep those cats indoors. My little baby's a freak with no hair And I gotta get her on the street He does you know that I did not know you have a man's got a hairless kitty. That's fun Yeah, I'll show you but you're gonna live you you You're gonna kind of live on the west side. So pretty but West Side ish after this

I'll show you I'll show you the apartment where pretty close to the ocean, right? So you want to be careful if you're down there by the beach with your cat lest you run afoul of a whale mouth They think they're They think they're exits all the time. Oh yeah, dude, check out my hair loss. They, they, they, they, they,

holy, holy, holy disgusting shit. It's a picture of Sean. If you're just listening, it's a picture of Sean. A shit? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, Famous Everything is now on YouTube. It's a picture of Sean with his backwards hat pulled over tight on his eyebrows. Yeah. Tight, tight. I had it on backwards because my friend keeps knocking it off. I've still got, I'll still get it. If you make it tight enough,

I'll knock your whole fucking head off, dude. It's called knocking your block off. The block is hot. Yeah, so someone with just a can on a leash. You ever know that? Sure, I love it. We tried to get Beetlejuice out on a leash. He dead weighted.

He said no. Oh, interesting. He just wouldn't. He's like, I'm not doing whatever this is, dude. I can see that. Sean, time for your final pick. Shaving my back. It's not as funny as the other ones.

Wait, do you do that? Do you shave your back? I shave as much as I can. Oh, so you go over one shoulder. Does Lor ask for that, or is that what you do? No know? I don't like but I don't like my body here So I I I'd smash my elbow like this. Yeah Good that you've got that subscribe so but then there's a line probably

Man now I'm fucking scared I stink Ian burped. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nevermind. Yeah. The burp doesn't smell great. Anyway, getting as much back hair as I can.

But then there's like a line where there's hair below it, but no hair above it? Maybe, I don't really examine it, but I just, I do what I can. Why don't you have Al Boogie go back there and trim it up for you? Oh, that's pretty cool. I don't like that. I don't want her to do those things

because that's gross to me. You're very made west about stuff like that. Well because I wanted to see me as attractive as long as possible and to me, shave my back for me isn't an attractive thing, so. You must have. I mean you still got your front. I'll shave your back.

I'll shave your back. I had a friend shave my back when I was younger. Oh, we should put it on Patreon. Yeah, I'll do it naked. Oh, I meant. A new paywall. I meant we let them get a chance to shave your back. Oh! Yeah, that'd do it naked. Oh, I bet new paywall. I meant we let them get a chance to shave your back Oh, yeah, they'll be all right

If you sell us if you send us the most compelling video, will you fly to Portland shave? We'll let you you gotta buy your own ticket And you can't tell anybody where his house is. Yeah. No, we'll meet it. We'll meet it You mean in the Mcmintain's? You're gonna shave his back in Laurelhurst Park. Perfect. We'll be among, you're among good company. Won't be the only back being shaved. I'll be standing there with a...

An AR-15. AR-15. I'll be smoking two cigarettes at one time. Harmonica Six. Harmonica Six! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Brrrr. Brrrr. They're different brands. Now the thing to keep in mind about Laurel Horse Park is that there's a lake in the middle of it. Now you wanna be careful around that lake.

Lest a whale is going to go into that potty of water. Thank you. No, I still am out. And you say, well thank you for letting me shave your back. I'm off now. I'm still out. Gotta head to the airport. Whoops.

Not that way. Not that way. Not that way, friend. That's the open mouth of a whale. God damn whale's mouth over there. What you, what you. You're not taking the five, are you? What you took to be the exit was the open mouth of a right whale.

I'm getting a real job. I'm gonna get a real job. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? I got nowhere else to go. I don't even, I think about that sometimes, like what I would have to tell them, and then as soon as they Googled it,

they'd be like, well no. Of course we're not gonna hire you. Sometimes I think about what I would have to put on recent employment history on an application, and then I realize I have to triple down on my dreams. There's nowhere else to go now. I've backed myself into a corner. We have smashed the pedal to the metal

and are too close to the canyon to take our foot off of it. I'm gonna say I worked at Target back when Bush was president. Yeah. Does any of that apply to this? Job as a teacher? Well, I think that about does it for the picks. That's pretty good.

Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah, whenever you hear like a slice of an insane conversation somebody's having on the street. Oh, that's great. I get that coyote ayahuasca. Coyotes can't do ayahuasca. I'm like, what the fuck is that? Anyways, that's the last time I blow a Mongolian. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I've heard so many stories like that.

Just on the street. Yeah. That's a great pick. Hand on a swivel. That's great, that's a great pick. Now, Isaac, you're gonna have to run down the pitch because I don't have my computer. I will just hand you my computer.

You're fucking dickhead. I just been fits in with my hat. Are you walking in front of the camera so much because your body's super hot right now? And he's in a great outfit. You think my body's super hot? Yeah. You think my body's hot?

You're in like a hot body era. It's good. Is it? Yeah. I just lost a bunch of weight. Keep talking about how hot Isaac is, by the way. All right, Dave. You went first, you took ass, disrespect, go pee,

big fat poop, and scaring a child. That's an afternoon for you. This is gonna be an album. That's how I like, if I hit all of those in a day. That's a fun one. These are tracks on an album. Chris, you took, was that Ricky Martin, a game-winning takeaway at the buzzer,

so you can sleep on your belly, hang on, I can't hear you, you have to turn this thing off, and, well, friend, that's no exit. That's a whale's mouth. That's the mouth of a whale. For me the aroma you catch the aroma of a baked good Yeah, to bust a move on a dance floor somebody says something that sounds like your name Every now and then you get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around And you see a guy with a cat on a leash

He's almost always a guy by the way Sean I feel like guys like cats out of the house girls like cats in the house The cat on a leash always almost always a guy by the way Sean Guys like cats out of the house girls like cats in now. Yeah, I like a cat my stepdad used to walk our cat agreed Yeah, mojo love a cat a fight a bee going up stairs after the cat got gangbang He didn't need to stretch out Let's get your blood moving Samantha Francesca, let's get your blood moving. You guys need to get out of here. Going up the stairs when the basement's dark, when someone is about to beef it on a scooter

and shaving your back. Sharpie, rip your list off. Excellent picks all. Even Isaac's computer is about to die. I do want to hear what elseie. What else he had though Let's see cuz I know you guys said some Vacuum in here. Oh, yes, because I'm not jumping off of that Because there's no way I'm getting on that plane without saying I love you

Cause there's no way I'm getting on that plane without saying I love you. Yeah? Oh my god. Oh man. Let's see what else we got there. To say hi to an animal. Pretty close to yours. Cause a cop is telling me to. I usually turn around for that.

You're gonna burn those burgers. You're gonna turn around for that. Oh my god. Let's see. I just kinda wanted to do this one. Cause if I can pull off this triple-sau-kow, I could win the gold. That's a pretty good one. You're a legend. Turn a butt.

You're unstoppable, man. Yeah, that's perfection. You really can't be stopped. Cause that's quicksand? You dingus. That's Cuz if I don't then you'll be talking to the back of my head I think that's pretty much. Oh my god. Oh I forgot the ketchup That's like a quirky little Oh forgot the ketchup Cool car nice hot person sure Oh somebody has shirt with words on the back you can tell Crazy accent

And you're like, I bet that guy has words on the back of his shirt. A crazy accent. An accent from a place you can't place. You're like, where the fuck is this person from? I like that. The only thing I had was an epiphany. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit.

Yeah, yeah. Fellas. Boys. We forgot the ketchup. We should get in stocks. I gotta fart. You remember when I texted you guys about getting into stocks?

Yeah. Shoulda done it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I shoulda. Shoulda done it. We all shoulda done it. Shoulda done it. Mm-hmm.

Shoulda done it. Crypto or stocks? Stocks. Mm-hmm, good. And bonds, dude. It's good. We wanna hear yours. Send us up at allfamisypodcast.gmail.com. Good and bonds

Gmail calm I don't know we don't know what this was All right, why is doing this? This was hilarious. I think I just don't think it was exactly what we I just I think it was good I think we've always been a pretty standard podcast this six and three I feel like we just crossed over into a thing. I don't think other people are doing yeah This is performance art. No, I mean, I don't I what we just did. I don't think that I don't I don't think that This is other podcasts, you know, I've been listening a lot of jazz, right? I think we just hit that Coltrane sheets of sound thing Isaac does Isaac knows I, I love jazz. And Sean does.

I'm gonna kill you. I'm a jazz, I'm, yeah. I am jazz. You're jazz. He's a jazz cat. You're jazz, drop the J. You're the Utah ass. My first pick.

You're acting nice, baby. This is the jazz couch over here. I know, dude. Well, we gotta enter our cool jazz here, ready? Just ride it out Jerry Mulligan style, bro Here's over the your picks at all fantasy podcast and gmail.com. I'm gonna eat an invisible sandwich while I say this Shout to everyone the afe patreon the a where where you can find bonus episodes live episodes

Which kind of the closest thing energy wise to this Auction drafts, this or that, you know, for God's sake. Mailbags, all of that stuff. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit, the AFE sh-slackety. Shout out to Super Rooster Isaac on the ones and twos. There he goes. Bam. I have been up for so long.

Same. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie O'Neal. Shout send the dude shot to hide you beats more important all That tuning it next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything I'm going to get some air that isn't recycled. That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't, because you now legally

have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with the business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or No Meal,

and Stef Tolov and I go head to head on a thought provoking game called Guess That Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds and we probably have more fun than we should, but it's a great time and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next We Have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.