All Fantasy Everything - Recess

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

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This is a Headgum podcast. Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we're drafting recess. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. A topic suggested by the ghouls on all family. Everything's Patreon. Oh, my spine is tingling with delight, thinking about the nightmares that we... Don't look at me.

Don't look at me. Joining me today on this haunted hell ride are my good friends and cryptkeepers, Sean Jordan and David Boorieu. I couldn't think of a pun for Sean's name. As always, we are produced by ice cold cadaver. Okay, Lee. That's what cadaver stands for. It's a cadaver with the cave.

Cadaver Lee. New Hinge just dropped. I don't know. Do you have a name on Hinge? Do you have a special name? I've never been on Hinge. Oh. Would you say you're unhinged?

I'm unhinged. He's unhinged. Yeah, yeah, that's what I am. Get in on the Halloween craze early. Let's be the first podcast to it. It's only three months away. Well, when does this come out? This is mid-A-Hawloyne's a month and a half away.

It's right around the corner. Halloween. It's right around the corner. I gotta say Halloween's not my favorite. It's probably my least favorite holiday. It's my favorite. Probably my favorite. Your least favorite.

Yeah. You like Flag Day more than Halloween. Yeah, Flag Day is pretty dope. That's not true. That's not true. You don't like Flag Day? What did you do the last three flag days? Wave the flag, I think.

Leg Day, leg day, leg day. What else? Mother's Day? I suppose you'd give a shit about Mother's Day? I love my mom. Shout out to Sue Lee. Man's right. Men's rights.

How did I not know your mom's name was Sue all this time? You guys never asked me any questions about myself. You're interested in me as a person. Then stop answering questions we didn't ask. Only as a producer. I've asked you lots of questions. Shut up and auto tune me.

Auto tune my voice right now and shut up. We're not friends in real life. Make me sound like Phoenix flexing. Who's feet? Flexin. Stacking cards and swathing chips. You haven't heard of that song? And I can't sleep through the night.

I've heard of a... He was in Shore... He was in Shoreline Mafia, and then he just had this song that's a hit, but everybody thinks it's straight up AI. Have you heard that song? No. Okay.

I got got out with an AI recording artist. What do you mean? You mean you hung out with Chad GPD? No, I thought it was a written. Nick something. Had the GPT. Dope-ass day. I don't understand what you're saying

I got got by an AI like an AI record I thought it was a real person and then you went to hang out no no I'm just I listened to it and I was posting about it like this is a dope song and everyone's like oh it's a

this isn't real sounds fucking real I don't know it's real to me that's real enough I don't know Nick something keep going

what kind of music a dope ass day like that's gonna be a dope best day okay but it sounds like he I did write it for you specifically. It is going to be a dope-assie. Is there like a jangly piano beat kind of thing? Yes.

You can't even be a dope-bast. You can't even be mad about that. Don't play it. Not like we can get sued by a real person. No, but somebody owns that shit. Yeah. Isaac's AI. I don't want to know that.

I said Isaac say I. Isaac say I. Isaac say I. Aye. Yeah. To my left. It was just far. Sean Gugger Malinjord.

It was weird in here last time. Was it? It's a weird room. It was weird in here last time. We're in the small room. It's just the three of us. It sucks that you could see out. I know.

It is weird. I feel odd. I don't like. I wish we could like frost this window. And then going to see it. Start jacking me off. Look at it. Check yourself off.

Yeah, man. It's called goooning. I already got to host this podcast. Have to jack you off too? I don't have to. It's fucking America. You jack yourself off and then you get people to jack you off. You start by jacking other people off, then you jack yourself off, then you get people to jack you off.

And that's the American dream, my friend. That's basically what Scarface was about. September 26th, Aladdin Theater, Portland, Oregon. Late show tickets still available. All fantasy, everything, 10-year anniversary. They know who's going to be on that. Laura Peek. L.P.

She's going to be on both, right? I don't know yet. I think so. We'll see. It's gonna be some fun folks in town. Man, that green room is gonna be, we gotta really make sure it's equipped. And it's not great.

It's weird. It's weird. It's up like one of those like... Staircases is what they're called. You know, one of those heartbeat increaser things. Oh, is it like one of those old school theater green rooms where it's like a sad apartment? You don't want to go, when the floor goes, floor wall, floor wall, floor wall,

floor wall, floor, up in an angle? Yeah, I do know that. And you like step up. Pick one. Floor wall. Pick one. I'll go up the wall. Whatever that is.

It's got a crooked. It's like a goofy house at a fair staircase. It's like kind of crooked. There's like bookshelves and shit up there. You know exactly. I know. A shower that looks like it's really in an apartment. Can we do a documentary on who's showering at all these venues?

That would be a, I would watch that like a 10 feet from stardom. Yeah, but it's just like guys who took showers at the mint. Yeah. We were just at one where we're like, this is a dead. closet. Have you ever showered at one of those? In a venue? No, because I was always so worried about wanting to get back. Yeah, if I have a hotel

that, I guess it's for people who are getting on a bus. Yeah, I've shouted at the Delta lounge. They have showers in there? They have showers in there? Yeah. Several times. Well, not the one you have access to one. I don't have access to one. I've only been with you two. Yeah. Come flying back from Toronto or two? Qatar.

No, it's, sometimes it's not. Certainly wasn't flying back. Cutter. One time I was coming from really far. I think it was when I came back from Tokyo, we went to San Francisco first. Yeah. And it's like their shower because they have the road, they have like all the accoutrema. It's like the green room at Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club or the one in Madison.

That's like what the shower is at the Delta Lama. The Delta Lama and Delta One has a great shower too. Yeah. So I like, Kyle Jackie off. I like getting J-O'd on a layover. And so you just have the stuff in your care. on. No, they have all the stuff too. They have like towels.

And deodorant and blackers and toothbrushes. They got any barbosol. They got barbosol. The comb dip in barbosol. They have the old old spice in the ceramic. I thought barbisol was like shaling cream. Is barbosol not shaving cream? Barbisol is the stuff you dip the comb in, I thought.

That's Barbicide. Barbicide. Yeah. Oh. What's Barbisol? Shaving cream? Yeah. Do you guys remember a bonaca?

Yeah. Yeah. We got to bring that back. We should bring that. You should become a Banaka guy. Oh, my God. That would be so sad. B-I-N-A-A, I believe.

It's breath spray. And you have to do it twice for some reason. Can you still get your hands on banana? Can you order some right now? Did Banaka shopping come up? Bonica Jagger. Yeah. But they're expensive.

No, they're not. What? Banaka is expensive? I think they're no longer made. It's vintage binocas? Yeah, it's been. How much is vintage binocca? It's like 100 bucks.

A hundred dollars? A hundred dollars for a pack of spray gun. Yeah, on eBay I'm seeing it for 50. They got rid of binocca? Whoa, what a loser these. I feel bad for Gen Z and Gen Alpha because they're going to be loser vintage guys. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah. Like you're a vintage 90 guys. Yeah, here's my binocca and my handy cam. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, Banaka really will set you back. Well, never mind then, dude. I might invest in some just to keep on ice.

It'll come back. I don't think it'll go bad. Banaka's whole thing is... It's alcohol. Should we make a $100? Would we bootleg bonaca? Whoa. We put rumplements.

I think the hardest part about booedlaking. A vodka and just a vodka. Well, we could make it... It's like your uncle. We could make whatever kind of bonaca we want. That would be. Yeah, butterscotch bonacca. Trudecotch bonaca!

Which is also, I lost a lot of money under that name of the track. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I used to dance on that. that name. Not where you think. Excuse me. We're looking for

butterscotch Panaka. You say it one more time I'm going to Manchurian candidate. It just it activates you. I just

need another we should, I think for the how old are you now? You're 31. You're 31. When do you turn 32?

No. Navon Roe Fé laigus. January December. October. December December 12th 8th

29th 6th 2nd 9th December 9th So when you turn 32 I think we should add a thing I think you should add a thing A thing you do

Or a gold toothpick Something Gold toothpick sounds great Yeah or bonaca Or maybe recycling I don't think girls would think it was cool though now It seems too much like drugs Did girls ever think it was cool?

A gold toothpick? Your mom seemed to. Stop. A gold toothpick. Yeah. Hey, can you say Banaka in a Midwestern accent? Benaka. I'm Carl Benaka.

Hey, my breath stinks. I want to make out with my wife. Do you have any bonaca? Carl Bonacchuski. She's mad at me for a moment. bunch of stuff. Kyle Benaka, I work in H-FAC. I'll get you a good deal.

Oh, yeah. Rotten breath never helps anyone close a deal. Here's a bonaca for you. Yeah, we started to get busy around me to meet me, so you're going to want to get us in there in April. That's more Chicago. Fuck you. Is that not the Midwest? It is.

It is. It's squarely in the Midwest. This is the Nemo thing. The other day? Well, the fighting Nemo thing where I was like, I didn't see that until I was an adult. And D.B.K. goes, you weren't adult when that came out. That was like the Midwest. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Well, how far. How far east is a Midwest go to you? Ohio. Oh, east? East. Ohio's the end. Ohio?

Yeah. I always think Ohio's East Coast kind of. No. Like the beginning of the East Coast. Ohio? I mean, there's a camera on South Coast. Pennsylvania. That's East Coast?

Yeah. Well, it's close, you know. Central Pennsylvania is where the East Coast are. It's weird to me to look at Ohio and say Midwest. Because if you look at Ohio on the map, it does not look like a Midwest. You're a midwest. One drop of East Coast is a Midwest. Yeah.

Because what borders Ohio? Kentucky. Kentucky and Illinois? Yes. Illinois, super Midwest. Indiana. I thought it was Iowa. Virginia?

Virginia? West Virginia. What borders it on the west side? Indiana. Indiana. Indiana. No, that was correct. That was Benaka on its way out.

Is Indiana the Midwest? I certainly think so well. I think Ohio is a middle, a gray area. To me. It's like. I don't think anybody on the East Coast is claiming it. I know that. I don't.

I disagree. I think they might be. Nobody on the East Coast is claiming Ohio. Cincinnati? That great East Coast City, Cincinnati? It's the Midwest, man. All right. It's young and restless.

I do know the Midwest is. If it's young and restless. Tiscani's from Cincinnati, we can ask him, but I'm pretty, Ohio is the Midwest. That's a good one. If you're not, if you're not like Ian and I, sons of the. The Golden West? The Golden West. Ohio is like, for sure, Midwest.

For sure. When you think Ohio, you think it's the same as Michigan to me. You know when Chief Keith, you know when Chief Keith said Philly, New York the same thing? Or Philly and New Jersey, the same thing, or whichever cities he said? Yeah, sure. That's how I feel about Ohio and South Dakota. I'm going to hold your hand while I say this. What?

I don't really consider the Dakota as the Midwest. You're insane. Look at Google Midwest. I'm looking at it right now. What do you think? You think the Dakotas are the West? I think that's where the Mountain West starts. No.

I think the Melrose. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. That's nuts. Don't go this far over. Wyoming and Montana. Wyoming and Montana.

That's where the mountains start. That's the West. That's the West. Wyoming and Montana. And so the Dakotas, I just think there's something different. There is. Well, it is built different.

But I think Nebraska is the Midwest. Nebraska is the Midwest. I'll give you this because the black, like Deadwood is considered part of the Wild West. That's right. So I'll give you that. But South Dakota is first. I don't need to be given anything.

firmly in the Midwest. Scarface. It's corn. I mean, that's exactly, South Dakota's the Midwest. Okay. It's the end of it. Okay.

It's the end of it. All right. I'm not saying I think Ohio's the East Coast. I just don't feel like it's Midwest. It's like its own thing. I know, but that's wrong. I don't think Ohio is considered an East Coast place. But it just doesn't feel Midwest to me.

I don't know. Because Kentucky's the South. Indiana's the end of the Midwest to me. Philly is the start of the East Coast. So Ohio's, it's the only. own thing? And Michigan too? Or is Michigan? Michigan's Midwest. And half of Pennsylvania? No, that's

all east to me. All Pennsylvania's east. The Midwest seems to be very, very solidly defined on the internet and it includes Ohio every single time. Yes, it does. Does it include South Dakota? It includes South Dakota as well. Of course it does. Well, that's fine. That's fine. It's a huge region.

All right. I can consider. Okay. Yeah. Well, I disagree. That's fine. Say something. you broke first I would have I would have driven this thing right into that I know I get so sweaty

so quick I can't do it I'll start doing my dude Admit what South Dakota's not the Midwest No wait Oh admit it right now

No admit it You gotta stand your ground Don't look at me I'm wearing a Mr. Sean shirt I know you are If you're just listening to this David and I are both wearing

Mr. Sean shirt Who sent you these Who sent you Where's the bag of Where's Lao Where's Lao? I don't know where I put the bag.

Oh, there we go. Brandon from Michigan. Brandon from Michigan. Thank you, Brandon from Michigan. I didn't say Michigan wasn't. Well, Ohio and Michigan, it's like the same, they occupy the same space. Yours was sent from Michigas, actually. Whoa.

This is sent from Michugas. Fuck out of here. What's the camera ever did to you? Come on, man. Cameras from Ohio. Sean's on tilt. He saw Johnny Knoxville walk by in the sweater past. I didn't.

Tilt ever since. Captain remains over here too. Right there. Don't you have other dates? Are you going to the Midwest? When does this come out? August 20th. Tomorrow night and the next night.

Come see me in Minneapolis. Comedy Corner Underground, 23rd of August. Lincoln Lodge, Chicago, September 17th, Detroit, Michigan, Motor City Comedy Festival, headlining one of the nights. I'm headlining it.

I'm going last. I'm going last. I'm doing a longer set. And they told you that. They told me that in an email. It was sent to me in an email. Manager, you know. Let's get you another mic.

There's a fake microphone back there. It looks like a broke. There's a fake microphone back there. It looks a little broken. All Fantasy, Everything, 10-year anniversary. Boys. And we're rotating the cast at that show. It'll be Sean's last show. It's Sean's last AFE. We're getting a...

No, it isn't. We're rotating in a new Midwestern white guy. There aren't any. It's from Ohio. Derek Rose. Derek Rose. You get Adventitarian here? It's funny to call people from Chicago, Midwestern.

Yeah. It feels so different. Mike Ditka. We're going to have, uh... Mike Ditka would actually be cool. Mike Ditka would actually be cool. Mike did can be great on this part of it. Not mudvane.

Who are the guys, uh, slipknot, slipknot's coming in. Or is Slipknot from Iowa? Iowa. Des Moines, maybe, Dubuque. I've been to both and Davenport. Ames. Davenport's Quad Cities, I think. They're from Des Moines.

Des Moines. Des Moines. That's Moines. That's Moines. David Bore is here. Cool guy jokes 87. I'm going to be in Des Moines. Are you going to be in Des Moines?

No, no. Bring to Payne, bring Des Moines? Not for years. Not for years, but I've had a good time there. Yeah. I've been there in a long time. I don't know if I've been in Des Moines. What was he doing?

Me and Sam Tallinn were walking out of this hotel room or out of the hotel. And this guy whips open. in the door and he had, he was real short and he had, he looked Amish. Yeah. He had like a tucked in shirt. His suspenders were down. He had no shoes on. His hair was swooped up like Vegeta or Goku, if that helps.

Yeah, yeah. That helps. And his eyes, there was like a terror in his eyes. And he like locked eyes with us and then slammed the door shut. Me and Sam probably. That was the devil. Yeah. Yeah, me and Sam probably, we probably have brought it up at least twice a year since it happened.

We both remember it clear as day. That's murder country. Brother, it was terrifying. It was in a motel six. Yeah. And he just like whipped the door open and made eye contact with us and shut it. Of his car or his room? Of his room.

His room. And you're just walking in the hallway? Mm-hmm. We were just leaving. Like an Amish saying? Like he had like a... Yeah, it was fucked. That itself is disturbing.

It was fucked. Maybe that's what under those hats. What was he doing in there? They don't wear hats. It was fucked. I think it was the devil. It was like during this crazy rainstorm too. Like the rainstorm was so bad we had to pull over.

I've been to that before. Yeah, it was like that kind of a rainstorm. So just like everything about it felt it was, it was really scary. But then you had to stay there. You had to like this was. Yeah, but we were like eight deep in the hotel room. Okay. Okay.

Those days. Did you try to sleep not close to the door though? Were you trying to get like? I was. in the middle. I would always clock that. I was in the middle west of that motel six. I never wanted to sleep anywhere where a door could be opened and hit me while I was asleep.

That's practical. Because the more people who are sleeping in the room, the more likely the door to that room is going to get busted over at some point. And that's just, and that's just hobo mask. That's how it goes. Of which I have a degree. Yeah, you got to do hobo man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Prime real estate in one of those was like between the bed, we would cram in between the bed and the wall.

Yeah, that's right. really good because that's almost like your own room. Privacy, no one's going to step on you. That was where I was done. Would you get one person in between the beds or would be two in there? One person between the bed and the wall, one person between the beds and then probably between beds. Yeah,

between beds, now everybody, this guy's not a piece of your best gal on the wall. You can't, you pin up Rita Hayworth. You say this is what I'm fighting for. Between beds is suicide. Do you guys think you would take pictures of your wife to war? Yeah. Yes. I think it would make me.

Like her instead. This is what she looks like. Hear me out. I think you would, I don't think, I think it would really make me, I think it would make me defect. If I just had to, too sad. I think I'd go AWOL. I'd be like, fuck this. I'm going back home.

Right. But you know you couldn't go back home unless you, you know what the thing about back then. Brother, I can't get out of anything. Yeah, that's true. I think that I feel like, and nobody likes to hear this, I feel like World War II you would have dropped me in there and I'd have been like, oh, no. Okay. But people were like, you would have to, you would live in shame back here.

That's the problem. People were like ashamed that they couldn't go to war. There were people who were like, fuck, I would lie to go. My grandpa lied about being older. Jewish? No. Not Jewish. They let Jews fight.

He was 15 and he lied about being 17 so he could go to war. Yeah. Because he was so, and also there was less going on. That was a good one to go. to, but I'm pretty anti-war in all of the... Oh, yeah. But there was just so much societal pressure. It was like, you're not a man if you're not going to war.

Yeah. I'm not a man. Call me Jessica Rabbit. I don't know why that was my... I'll call you Jessica Rabbit. That was my go-to woman. That was crazy. That's what a woman.

David and I don't have any dates. Come see the AFE 10-year anniversary show. Come see it. We're going to be. dressed crazy. Everybody's going to, family's all going to be there. Yeah. It's going to be a lot of fun. David and I are doing free live streams all the nights of Sean's shows if you want to stay home and tune into that. Oh yeah, we are doing free live streams. We're giving away all the game. We're kind of the new Adrian Bronner and Dean the

Great don't ask who's who. Yeah. We're going to be showing the Philly show. Yeah. Every out of all those nights. We're going to be risen up. Well, that I might not go. We're going to be risen up gals on the street. We're rising up gals. We're mocking everybody. Yeah. Everybody's getting mocked. We're going to do apartment. We're going to be like, what do you do for a living? How much do you make sort of things? We'll be matching.

Is this going to be doing bonaca tests? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, you try not to laugh videos. We're new that. Homebrewed bonaca. Yeah. And we're finally. Back tub, bonaca.

We're doing that. The hardest part's figuring out the spritzer thing. Yeah, I think we could make bonaca, but I don't know how to do the thing. I don't know how to make one of those. You buy that. You buy that. Yeah, but I buy it like an air.

And then we dip it in the bonaca tub. You fill it. I mean, it's got a tub full of bonacie. I think it's like when you refill like the lighter. Remember when you refill a butane lighter? Back when a zippo just made you king? It never did though. I knew a lot of guys who tried to rock a zippo thinking it was really going to make them cool.

It never did. You're in the car. It feels like butane in the car. It was hard to light pipes. You got to have a zippo life and before you, you can't like get into the life via the zippo. No, I have a zippo. You have a zippo? Is it gold?

You were also in a cherry popping daddy. You know they're just the daddies now? Yeah, that makes sense. They changed their names. That's good. They probably had kids. It's very good, but I'm like, at one point are they like, let's get rid of the cherry popping part. Yeah, yeah?

We'll just be the daddy's for me. We're in a quorum? Great. Yeah, they're the daddies. We're drafted in recess. It was suggested by the patrons. By the patrons. The second got second in the poll.

I wish that I had said Brian sets their orchestra. That's a good one. He did, they were doing Jump Driving Whale, right? Yeah. Bump banana. Did you ever, you remember what everybody was talking about swing dancing?

The swing revival? Absolutely. Yeah. I didn't give a shit about that. I got bummed on it. I didn't like any part about the swing. I liked the music. I was too young, yeah.

I like music a lot. Squirrel nuttippers. Cherry pop and daddies, I had both those CDs. I feel like, I feel like every sitcom was referencing swing dancing. Yeah. They'd be like,

you can take a swing dancing class, Mr. Sheffield? Yeah. I love my president. Wearing bowling shirts. Newsy's came out. Yeah, presidents! Or bowling shirts.

A lot of bowling shirts. I never had a bowling shirt. Me either, but I wanted one. Yeah. I wanted one. I feel like wallet chain bowling shirt was a little key shirt. I never had a wallet chain either. Never wanted a wallet chain.

Never. And surprisingly, you never wanted a wallet shirt. I always thought they were so gnarly look. I did too. I don't really get it. I mean, it's a look, I guess, like anything. It's just for the look, though, right?

I saw some really, you know, like, L.A., like, Travis Barker types. Yes, I know exactly. I was at a restaurant the other day, and there was a table full of Travis Barker type. Mickey Avalon. Like really rich tattooed where I'm like, I don't. FAMIS and straps. Yes, like. But because they own it.

Exactly. But they're like, they look so rich. Yeah. And I'm like, it felt like daddy's money kind of guy. And they all had wallet chains on their incredibly expensive pants. It's the, it goes again. the whole thing. You know what I feel like sometimes

it pisses me off about L.A.? At least in New York, the riches look like oranges. They look like riches. Yeah. L.A. has a lot of rich poor. Yes. Really rich looking poor. Really poor looking rich people. And vice versa. Yeah, that's true too. Yeah. We should get you some chrome hearts.

Yeah. What are chrome hurts? You should go all chrome hard. What is that? You should be chrome-hearted out. What is that? You should get George McClay. What are you talking? What are you looking at? For the 10-year anniversary. What's he doing?

Shot's going to be chromed out. I'll chrome out. All right, you're chromed out. Guys, it looks like I could stay in the group if I chrome out. Hell yeah, brother. It'll be real expensive. Don't give a shit. Oh, isn't that the whole thing?

Horrible with money. It's an extreme, like, way overpriced luxury. What do you think expensive is? Hit me. Like $5,000 for a shirt. Don't give a shit. All right. Click this out, send it to Laura.

I guess Mac's not going to college. She wasn't going anyways. And I don't have a daughter named Mac. He'll have to hear to school. We're going to go eat dinner with Travis Barker in his voice. Get rich, Max. What are you going to learn to college that you can't learn? Right here.

$700 two-person meal with Travis Barker. That's your version of the dinner with Jay-Z? Vegan steak with... Travis Barker. We're drafting recess. The way we're driven the order that draft is a rollicking game between the rock papers

between the two of you. We throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock paper scissors, shoot! Oh, Sean wins. The scissors against paper.

Shown's on a hot streak. That was the mustache. That was fun. Yeah, it's been doing a lot. I did it like a system of down. My reason. That's a bit more than you. You wanted to.

I did this is. Who's this? A two to two. It's weirder in here. It is weird in here. It's also because it's just the three of us. Somebody reminded me the other day about the poop smasher, poop cutter, poop flattener. Somebody reminded you of that?

Someone sent me a DM. Yeah, I bet they did. Yeah, sure. Send me a picture when I had a six-pack, too. Have you seen that? Are you aware of this? No. There's one when I could go on here.

somewhere. Send it to me. I'm going to do some bad podcast. I'm going to have to look through my phone. Oh, no. You're going to send it to Isaac. He's going to look through all my pictures. You're going to be... He's going to put it on the screen for the YouTube. It's going to be a whole thing. I'm going to figure out a text to me. Figure out how to do a group text and then all that. You just happened to find it yesterday? I'm going to use

minutes if I do it and I'm low on data. It's crazy. And I can't... It's crazy. What? You have it? Yeah. You sent it to me. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm talking about a one when I was younger. So this one, yeah, no, but this one though, Laura took it and she's like, look at how ripped you look and I was like, thank you.

I sent it to you at the Bachelor party. Is it on a group chat? I don't know, but it's a ways out. I'm in the lake and the light is hitting properly. The light's hitting me the right way where I'm like, I could see how if you glanced at that. Oh, it's right now. Is right now.

This is the other day. I mean, you're working out like crazy. He's certainly not shredded. But, Why'd that make you yawn? Huh? I work out. That was not, no, no, no, no.

Go to the gym every day. Yeah, sure. And I sit there and I make fun of what people are wearing all day. That's quite a workout. And I walk pretty slow on the treadmill. Mm-hmm. I saw a couple walking on the treadmill the other day, and they both had like, well, be walking on the reddollcks.

You know, like, they were just, they were walking together. They were walking together, and they both had, like, real sugary, frappy drinks, and they were going pretty slow. And I'm like, maybe this is their walk. Gym couples are weird. I see them all the time It's always a weird vibe It always feels like

I saw one yesterday when I was in there And it was like The dude was kind of over The light The light doesn't factor in Because I cut it out And I copied it out for him This looks crazy

Passed out today Glance at it Isaac glance at this from far away Hugh Jackman Showing me Showing You look like Tom Seguora Handed to him

You gotta send that to me So I can flash it on the screen Well we can put it I posted it Okay But that's like the The body cut This picture

This picture's fucked With my Doc Holiday hat on Shout out This is not what I thought was good It's like a cooked meme Why is it black Well because I cut You know

If you hold it on an iPhone It'll like laser outline The body You know what I mean This is crazy I sent that to Laura that night too And she's like Did you do this on purpose?

I said it to my wife Yeah, I guess what did we say? We're like, you go to Sean looks ripped here And she said, not like ripped ripped, ripped But he looks good That's the exact inflection that she was texting with you. That's exactly how she said. He doesn't look buffed but he looks decent.

That's pretty good I'll take that all day. I sent her one of you and she barfed Yeah, because she knew she could never have me. Oh, I'm sick. I'm sick with loss. It hurts in my bones. I want the man.

We got to isolate that. I want the man. I want the man. I want that to be when I'm going to... Take my phone, give me the man. What do you want the order of the draft to be? It's a serpentine draft. We'll just go this way.

David, me, you. David Chonnie. And hot corner. Yeah. I've been farting. Gotta be. You have to. It's like, it feels like this is one eighth of the size of that place,

which is so, doesn't it feel like we're in a closet almost? Yeah. And over there, it feels like we're in a stadium. This is like what it was like when I was making my mixtape. They have to pull it out of you, bro. Yeah. We're doing five beats a day in here. Yeah.

Three summer. It fell apart. I've been watching those Scott Storch videos about how he came up with the beat. About how he came up with the beats. Why'd that get you some? You know, I'm talking about where he's like, this guy came up with this meet, and he's like 50 walked in, passed on it,

and so I gave it to Jay. It's like, it's interesting. You said it like there's these like storch videos in the zeitgeist right now. Yeah, like everything. Well, they're on my zeitgeist. Of course they are. My fightgeist,

when I'm not watching videos Europeans beating the shit out of each other outside of fight geist. I like that. Fightgeist is good. Yeah, that's a good one. We're picking, we're drafting,

we're drafted, that's David, you have the first pick, and you'll have that first, right after this short word from our sponsors. Yo, this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You've heard us talk about BetterHelp a ton. BetterHelp is online talk therapy.

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to a high-stakes professional sport presented by Shaquille O'Neal himself. This is a show that will focus, exclusively on slam dunks, the season will consist of four group stage events in which 24 of the world's best dunkers battle for a spot in the Dunkman World Championships with a $500,000 grand prize on the line. That'll get you breaking some backboards. That'll get some 360s, maybe a 720. Who knows? I'm out of my depth here, but I do know that I like watching dope dunks with dope people doing them. So you got to watch at the inaugural season of Dunkman in partnership with Eli Lilly premieres Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern time on TNT and streaming on HPL Max.

Again, Dunkman in partnership with Eli Lilly premieres live Tuesday, 8 p.m. Eastern on TNT, streaming on HBO Max. Go get yourself some dunks. Dunk man. And we're back. Welcome back to Hall of Fantasy Everything. Fight case. Diane Weist. Weist. Is it Weist? say weist. It's Diane Weist. Weist.

Past the yeast. Listen to indie rock. Call that hunting geese. I'm really good at wrapping. And you're good at sort of picking your own original flow each time. It feels like not chained down by a beat or any sort of rhythm. I'm not a Sean Jordan. Where I'm like fucking AI could have done that.

Shout out to the streets, man. A lot of people thought it wasn't me. Let's get you an AI song. We should. How do you? Don't you just type it in and then it happens? Probably. We just type in some ingredients and then it

And then... Gear Crisis style rap song Featuring Supercat. You gotta do what that Phoenix Flex and I did. It's so catchy. I'll play for you after this. Have you not... You haven't heard it either?

It's like, it's so catchy. Anyways, my turn? It's your turn we're drafting recess. Settling scores. Oh! It's like a place to settle score. I feel like as an adult, we don't have like a communal place to settle. Like recess, it was like when shit got...

decided. I didn't really go to a score settling elementary school. I went to several. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same. You did? Yeah. Is that what Manhattan Beach was like? No, I went to five different elementary schools and a couple of them in Michigan, a lot of settling scores in Michigan. Yeah. That seems like a score settling.

It's the Midwest. Honestly, all it was is really I would get racist bullied. You were racist against other people. I was, I was racistly bullied. You couldn't stand the side of a pollock. Obviously. The polls and I, basically, don't get along. Yeah. You can't have a screen door on a submarine, you know. You said, I'll be goddamn if I'm celebrating Kazimir Pulaski Day.

And they said, you will. Who's Casimir Pulaski? Exactly. I'll see you by the flagpole. You don't know who Casimir Pulaski is? You don't know who that is. How do you think we won the Revolutionary War? With guns.

Casimir Pulaski. Guns. I thought it was guerrilla-style fighting. Yeah. And ships. You think, well, you think a cavalry trains itself? You better fucking pray to God you've got Casimir Pulaski. You've seen that documentary with Mel Gibson, right, called the Patriot?

The Patriot. Yeah, that's how we want. The New England Patriots. I think that's who Casimir and Pulaski was. We saw fights all the time in elementary school. Yeah, I feel like it was more in elementary school because the stakes were so much lower. I barely saw any in high school. I fucking nailed who Pulaski was off the top of my head, proud of myself.

Blaskey. The guy that Will Ferrell is always sneaking into movies. Bill Blaski? Bill Blaschke? Well, that is that. The guy from the guy who made a production company from Devo? Who's that what? Claskey's Kasupo.

Oh, Klaski Zupo. Oh, this is a real guy. Casimir Pulaski. He's the father of American cavalry. What did I say? The Soldier of Liberty. Hollywood High. What did I do?

Spanky Blunts that in the America video. They know what I'm talking about. That's right. That's where I was referenced. Oh, I thought you were pointing to the camera. What's up streets? Thanks for the cool 120 for rapping. Yeah, you guys went to settling scores grade schools.

I wouldn't say that, but people thought. But it's not just like fights, though. I guess people scrap. It was just like. I don't even mean just fights. It would just be like races, like people running races. You never had like a football tournament goal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Five, seven, ten races. We had things. Just like, it was like a place to go to settle scores. And I don't feel like you have that much as you get out of school. Where would it even be now? The internet. Yeah. Oh, God.

To settle a score, that sounds like such a bummer. Me in the Metaverse I'll see you in there We put my goggles on Get my body suit where I can feel you touching me Aren't those real? Huh? I was looking at what that book is

Girl on Girl Art and Photography in the age of the people are going to be on attention That is a very confusing title for that book See that book out at recess What are you doing a recess? Settling a score Settling a score I guess so But you know what I mean though

It would be like, it was like, something would happen in the morning and you'd be like, we're going to figure this out at recess. Yeah, we're so-and-so's faster or so-and-so's better at X, Y, Z. Whatever. It all just happened. It was like, it was very interesting in that way. And it would just go back inside. Being fast was like the first form of popularity currency when I was a kid. I cannot relate.

Well, no, I was, not me. I'm saying like the fastest kids were the coolest kids. Don't. I wasn't. Scott Johnson was. Don't toss yourself in with our plight. Because that wasn't even currency. that was accessible to us.

We were the untouchables when I gave them. You were faster, at least than some people. Yeah. I was faster than nobody. Same. Nobody. That was back when what are you going to do, sit on me was huge. Huge.

Which my thing was like, yeah, then what are you going to do? Yeah. I'm going to kill you. Yeah. Probably going to bleed out. I'm going to get you down on the ground first. Probably bleed internally. I never had to sit on somebody.

Nobody said on anybody. Nobody said on anyone. That's a crazy thing about being a fast. kids. Sean? Do you ever see any fat kids sit on anybody? I never once. I never even heard a story about a fat kid. I was a fat kid and I knew other fat kids. I saw fat kids getting fights. I never saw anyone get sat on by anybody. If anything, I saw a little guy sitting on people. I never seen a man sit on somebody. No, me neither. I've only seen people sit on people for sexual gratification.

Yeah. And if it happens to be a fat guy, God bless. What, you can't sit on somebody? I've seen that. I haven't seen that. I haven't seen it. I assume it happens. I never seen the lady who wanted to go to under the hood of this car. There's a bar around the corner. I'm not saying maybe it's two guys. I've never heard a lady say sit on my face. No, not to us. Sit on my...

To the likes of us. That would be insane. What would you do? I'd leave. I'd get my stuff and go. You'd like... Maybe call an ambulance or something. I'd say no.

Clearly you're more advanced than I am. Yeah. I misjudge this situation. I can't beat the video game on this thing. A lot of my depth, get you a new dealer. Best to you and yours. Yeah. Hope you find what you're looking for.

I have a couple numbers you could probably reach out to. Probably go to Germany. I feel like that's where it's happening for you. There's Usonmine Chais. Yeah, Ussesmine chis. Someone at Bergeny. They have a word for getting smushed by an obese gentleman. For sure, that's the what the whole language is for it.

It's all sounds like it. Yeah. This whole Nazi stuff has really obscured the fact that that that entire country is just based on it's a rope-a-dope. That's what they're doing. It's a rope-a-dope. Here are the Nazis over here. I'd like to know if that is a fetish though.

Like a lady. Oh, have that guy's getting sat on you? Yeah. Everything seems to be a fetish. That's true. Yeah. How big is the community? Isaac?

I have no idea. I was just trying to think of like a German word for that. Do you know German? I don't know any German at all. So what was it? What was going through your mind when you were trying to? Fottenshmushin? I don't know.

I know. Oh, yeah. What did you say, fat and smushin? Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I was thinking about. He said, Fott and smoo shmush. is perfect.

And you pulled this card. That's great. Can I call this card it was an ace. Can I be vulnerable with you guys for a little bit? Yeah. I never understood that joke Farf and Nugin. I don't get it either. I think it's a...

It was a joke. I thought it was a... I think we missed what it was referencing. I thought it was real. Is it not a word? I thought it was a joke. I think it was like a Volkswagen-based thing. Far...

It's a... Fagin-Noo. It was the commercial that just was like... It's a common phonetic spelling of farvugnugin, a famous marketing slogan meaning driving enjoyment. So Volkswagen is German. Shut up, shut up. Shut up. It means driving.

Speak for the Germans. Speak for the Germans. Do it. If anyone here will. No, go ahead. What are you going to say? East Coast. It means driving enjoyment. And it was Volkswagen slogan.

Mm-hmm. So it just appeared like in the early 90s, late 80s, in all sorts of advertisements. Yeah, I feel like it's here on TV. Yeah. Or like T-shirts from guys who did ecstasy. Beach T-shirts. Not MDMA. Far from Grooven.

Funky grooving. Far from grooving is so funny. Beach T-shirts, which saw a few yesterday. The ones you said to the group chat were so funny. Who ate all the pussy? It was killing me. Where can I wear that? I don't even want to wear that at the beach.

I bought it. Sorry, I bought you one. Next episode. I'm just wearing a who ate all the pussy t-shirt. No explanation. Because you can't, you just can't wear it places. It's not funny. I mean, it's funny because I'm laughing at it.

It's really funny. On your body, though. If you were forced to, okay, like. If you had to wear it somewhere. If we had a challenge where it was like, you have to wear a who ate all the pussy shirt. six six uninterrupted hours and you can't be home

oh man six hours you can't be home they can be any six hours of the day I feel like Houston Speedway I feel like you can't be in a car you can't just be in a car is that a race track so I'd be there watching the race

I feel like I'd be doing all right I'd be some compliments somebody might buy me a beer I'd go to a rave how long is that long as you wanted to be I think yeah yeah I think I could wear it to a rave yeah

I'd wear it to a recital. What kind of recital? I don't know. No, I would wear it to, I think, like, WMBA game. I don't think that that would be received as much the way that you wanted to be. Would they stop you? If you sat court side. I paid for court side.

I paid on a WNBA game and a t-shirt that said who ate all the pussy. I don't think anybody would be. Would I be removed? Or I think there's a few, like, people who were dogs, like, down. and we would love it. I think there's some players who would love it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I think there's a few of the dogs would love it. I just, that was the, we were talking, that's the shirt that was the outside of the business. What if it's an orange hood? What if it's the orange WNBA hoodie

with the silhouette and then on the back it says who ate all the pussy? Now it looks like official. Now it looks like official W&BM. That's like a banksy level of, I think you should maybe do that.

We're walking by it. I didn't even know it said that. What was there old? Why am I getting arrested? What was their old slogan we got next?

It should say What do you arresting me for? I got this here. I had no idea. There's a whole booth of them up there. You put a box of them upstairs just for a contingency. I got this here.

It's so funny. It's just on the honor system upstairs I put $20 at a box And what do you mean Jesus Sudeikis is wearing one What do you mean Jesus Sudeciz is wearing one right across the row Oh

Oh man Oh Yeah I probably wear it to like Probably like a Kenny Chesney concert Yeah Just fine That feels like a place you could wear it

Just fine All joking aside Farfing Sean, your first pick? Four square. Yes. Oh yeah, man. That shit was good.

Mega bounce. It's still, they're still like going hard on four square too. Why wouldn't they be? I just thought it might have faded away. I would go to an adult four square league, probably. I can't believe. Yeah. You're not moving around too much.

I mean, you're big, you're big as a square now. There's not like, you just kind of, we do bigger square. Bigger four square? Yeah, I think they probably extend the squares. That can't be next. Pickleball came back. Yeah? Well, Pickleball wasn't for little kids.

Pickleball started. I played that in gym class. You did? Yeah. It's a Pacific Northwest sport. Yeah, it's a North Westport. Yeah, I was going to say we had a pickleball court in one of my junior highs. Yeah.

I didn't know. I saw a girl get her ponytail yanked out. She was walking up the steps, pulled that shit out. Oh, my God. Back down the steps. Yeah, on the pickleball. Because the pickleball court was like in the courtyard because it's like Washington has a bunch of outdoor hallways. Mm-hmm.

Even though it rains all the time. They got those in- They used to suck too because it'd be raining. It'd be raining, but you're outside in between classes so everybody would be like huddled under to not walk through the rain.

Under that tiny little awning that just covers a fraction of the lockers. Looking like a we don't need no education. What's that big of pink Floyd? Like a pink Floyd visual? Yeah. And then the corners would be all flooded so kids would always push kids in the corner

and they'd be all wet. We didn't have the outdoor hallways. There's a couple of outdoor hallways. Really? They have a big atrium, too. Big, like, plant. Uncovered. That's nice.

Yeah, it is. They can do, like, you know, gardening and stuff in it. It'll be cool. But four square. Yeah, four square. I miss those balls. Witchcraft. I love those balls.

Those red balls? Mm-hmm. We got one. You guys got one? The big one. You played four square with the big one, right? Mm-hmm. You played with a little one?

Basketball size probably. Oh, we played with a bigger ball. It was like a dodge ball or like a kickball. Yeah. We played wall ball with that. We played four square with a bigger ball. Oh, All these are going to get brought back that, unfortunately.

But yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit of witchcraft. Yeah, I know we've talked about this a bunch. You guys have the rules, like no. Yeah, I don't remember the witchcraft, you would have to hit. Yeah, so now what I was doing when I went to special persons day at my nephew's school, they get in line. What is the special persons then? What's going on? I got elbow wings.

I'm just grabbing your elbow skin. Bingo wings on my elbow. I'm going to see how you react. I'm all right. Keep talking. If you're going to do it, do it. I'm doing it. They line up.

So whoever fouls up, then they, you, you, get out and the next person in line just comes in. Yeah. We used to have organized games with points. Like we'd go the whole four people just played until the game was over. Really? Mm-hmm. Is that how you played?

You would have people come in like... Yeah, you rotated. No, we never did that. There would be like a line. Yeah. No, we didn't have that. Well, would there be people who just like... Volus?

Yeah, until our game was over. Sounds like the Midwest. We had, yeah, South Dakota, very Midwest. We had probably eight four square courts. so that we had a bunch. I think we just have the one. Three or four. Yeah.

Well, it sucks to be you, dude. One of us has a Pulitzer. Witchcraft. I'm going to start saying I have a Pulitzer. What if I did? And we don't really address it. What does a gun have to do with anything? It's a howitzer.

I got one of those, too. Well, yeah, that's what Doc has. And they'll be less apt to get nervy if we got Doc on the Howitzer. That's what they're talking about as a gun. A howitzer is a big cannon. It was a big artillery. I thought it was like the one where you're like,

Grr-R-R-R-I think that's a mini-gun. Howitzer is artillery. Right? Isn't that a mini-gun? I don't know. Yeah, howitzer was artillery, medium-to-long-range artillery. But that's what they were implying,

like Docs on the cannon or whatever. Yeah, what's that from? Tombstone. Tombstone. Yeah. He said Howitzer in it? I think so. When they're going to the battle, the OK Corral,

and he's like, well, give Doc the shotgun. They'll be less apt to get nervy if he's on the howlitzer. I think is what they said. I never knew. I think Halletzers were invented in after that happened. Why is this movie so important to you? It's the best movie ever made.

Well, no, but this is just an actual coincidence. Between the 18 and 19th century. That's what they're saying. Like slang term for his, you know, him having a gun, I think. I love Toonstone and it just happens to work its way in. Great movie. I don't bring it up. In that picture where I'm shredded as hell, I'm wearing a Doc Holiday hat.

Like how yours is Emmanuel Queen of the Galaxy. Absolutely. It just comes up. Hey, all the time. Amelais. It's another one you bring up all the time. I don't shut up about Amelie. Have you seen Amelie?

I've seen Amelie, yeah. My buddy Gets was, you don't believe me that I've seen Amel. No, I don't. Why not? Run the synopsis. I got a ass. I can't tell you a thing about it. I saw it because it was my buddy gets his favorite movie.

We always gave him shit about it. He sat us all down and made us watch Amelie one night. I didn't like it. Somebody hit me up about fucking Roman James Real Esquire and they had my back. Oh, this is interesting. Read it. Sure. This one I will pull up.

I'd like to hear this. There's a text that he sent himself. Yeah, I was going to say. Andrew Lyming. Kean I. Amarle on Instagram. Andrew Lyming. Dude, I just watched Roman J. Israel Esrile, Esquire, and the movie is pretty fucking good.

David and Sean can go kick rocks. In all seriousness, he was just joking about you guys kicking rocks. Oh, thank God. Huge fan of the pod, and you guys are seriously the dopest people. You're the dope as Andrew, and I said, it's not bad, right?

And he said, dog, it's pretty good. I mean, at the end of the day, it's entertaining as hell. Like, it's not a waste of a couple hours because it's a fun movie. And I said, right. And then he said L.O.L. He would do the hand in the hand motion.

Right. I think the Roma J Israel Esquire hive is stronger than David and Sean realized, dude. Because at least there's two of us. That's probably true. There's two of us. So that's already stronger than I. So shout out to you, bro.

Denzel's not in that camp, unfortunately. Denzel's in that movie. He's part of the hive. He doesn't like it. He likes it. He doesn't like it. He loves it. I saw him when I was shot.

What kind of t-shirt do I have now? What did I get? My $5,000 t-shirt? Oh, Crum Hearts. Yeah, I saw when I was shopping for that. And he told me he doesn't like it. Don't buy your lip-in. What do you get all sexy for?

I think he probably loves it. It's time for my first pick and my second pick. I'm going to take seeing the girl you have a crush on, number one. She's just kind of walking around doing her, whatever her thing was. First time you have to learn to navigate those. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Four off top. I don't want to name all names.

Latanya. You said you didn't want to name them. Now they're full names. Latanya, Amanda, Angela, and Becky. Free Kleeck. About three Kim's. There was a Latanya in there. I wouldn't have guessed Latanya.

Was this a white Latania? It was a white Latania. Wow. How's she doing? They got everything in South Dakota. I don't know. One of you knows. how Latanya's doing.

So hit me up and let me know. Latania, if you're listening, hollered your boy. Rachel Roker? Sam later. I'll drop whole names. Okay. Can't remember the other one.

I don't even have any name. There was another one in second grade. I can't remember her name. But I put a fake snake in her desk. That might have been Rachel Lacher. A move that, a move you took on throughout your 20s and 30s. That's right.

That's how I met my wife. You went to prison for that, right? I put a fake snake in her desk and thought she would think it was funny and I would reveal like twas I who pulled the prey Does that snake seem queer? The queer boy from the corner Turned that to be

much more than you bargained for I don't My thought process was not super clear Walk me down the fake snake What did it look like? How old were you? It was like a rubber snake Second grade

So like seven Whatever that age is It's 15 Whatever that age was I think it's, I think it's eight, right? Six when you're kindergarten? I think when you're a kid, you're like, if I can elicit an emotion. An emotion from this person.

I think that's what it wasn't. What did she do? She just opened her desk and was like, this is stupid? Yeah, and then like, I didn't go to detention, but they were like, don't do that. Something like that. Did you ever have detention in elementary school? I never went to detention at any level. I went to it at every level.

I was in, I remember my first action plan. I went to ISS. You did? Oh, my. I was such a good to get in it. In school fucking. I spent more of eighth grade in ISS than not an ISS. Dude, I got an ISS one time so deep.

Instead of keeping me an ISS, they made me go in for a week. I had to sit with the first grader. What? So, like, I would sit in the back of their class. That is nuts. And then it was like, in hindsight, it's very, like, a shame-based hunter. It's, like, pretty, pretty shitty. That's harsh.

And ISS's International Space Station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then ISS in school, in high school at least, was fun because you'd be in the same room. In our ISS? So you could like share notes and stuff. They didn't even let us do work in our ISS in high school. So they didn't even give us packets. We couldn't draw.

We could do nothing. We had to sit at a desk and do nothing all day. ISS was the beginning of like, like you look back on it. It's like in the way that other kids are being prepared to enter the job force. Yeah. IsS is preparing you to go to jail. Yeah. You're just, because you're just, you, you would just be in there, right?

Like, one of the schools I went to, ISS would be, it'd be like in this cubicle. So you would just be in there writing like red was here. Right. You know what I mean? Like, you just, you don't got nothing going on. You're just writing all eyes on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're giving yourself a tattoo with a fucking, like, ink pen.

Making prison burritos. Yeah. It was ISS, that shit. That needs to be rethought. I haven't really thought about it in a long time, but I think it was really traumatized because I went to ISIS pretty much every school I went to. We had OSS too.

OSS is cool. It was awesome. Don't come to school. We also had, and people don't believe me, and I bet it was only for a short time, but we had ASS. I swear to God, I swear to God, after school suspension.

I swear on a stack of Bibles, it was ASS. That's insane. Did they swap the SNA at any point? Like school? They had to it. But when I got it, the handful of times, it was ASS. It blew me away. So what would happen?

Would it be like? You'd go to after school detention and you'd just sit there. And after a while, I figured out that you didn't have to like, you didn't have to go. You just, you had to go check in and be like, I got to go bathroom real quick. I'll be back. And then you just never came back. And so the principal at a certain point would come and watch me do it. So he basically had after school suspension too because otherwise I would just leave.

Well, he didn't want to go home to his wife. something about his relationship. My second pick, swings. Oh, wow. We didn't even have them in our elementary school. What? I know. What?

What did you get? We didn't even have an equipment center when it opened. We had, what's an equipment center? You know, playground? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. No, we didn't have any of that. We just had the, I don't want to say other picks.

Cement. Yeah, cement. Yeah, yeah, no swings. That's sick. Swings. Were they pretty hot, probably? Yeah. Did you say turns?

People wanted to go on the swings. Yeah. Democratic about it? Yeah, people like took their turn. Yeah. Pretty civil grade school. Swings are the hottest thing at the playground. They should be.

They're the most fun. They're fun now. Swings are the things that I see get the most use at the playground. Not the baby one, unless you stood up in it. Yeah, yeah, you could. Yeah, you could stand up on the baby one. You would get, there were always rumors of the people who could go over. Yeah.

Inside Out boy. Were you ever jumping off the swing? was the big move. Were you ever daring enough to go all the way up and then do the backflip? You remember those kids? I never did it, but I saw kids who could do it. I saw a lot of kids too. I never did it either.

Yeah. But I would jump. I would jump. I would get it going and I would jump for sure. Yeah, I would jump. I still do that when I go with Max. You'll get it. Jump?

You pretty careful. You should try to flip. I've thought all I think now, because I see kids do and I'm like, my feet are going to get caught on the chains on the way back. You don't want to Kyle Canane yourself. Hey. Be one of the best working comedians to ever live. I was referring to him breaking his leg.

I know. I thought you might have been. Yeah. Kyle Broke is like, shout out Kyle. You're doing all right, bud. Oh, an email that says congratulations on your Emmy nomination. One second here.

No, yeah, I got one too. Hold on. Yeah, I'm looking at mine. Congratulations on. Well, it looks like I'm going to get a shinier Emmy than you. I got nominated for a shiny Emmy. It's like a glint. It's got a glint on it.

Does your email say that you have a glint on your Emmy? Well, my Emmy has a glint on it, so. Damn, the actual one. Swings. Yeah, swings. Swings. I fucking love them. They're great.

Phenomenal. Sean, you're a second pick. I'm gonna go... I did my two. Oh, that's right. See the girl you have a crush on? Swings. I'm gonna go kickball.

Oh, yeah. Has to come up. Kickball. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't... That's my version of Casey at the bat. What do you mean? It never happened?

Or you got too coffee? Oh, no. Just like the sound of it. Casey at the bat, he struck. out. I thought he hit the ball. There was no joy in Mudville that day. He struck out. He came out. He let, so he let one go by, let the two go by. So he let two strikes go by. What am I thinking of that? Then he called, then he called his shot. So I was, I failed reading. I was failing reading, bless you. And I had to memorize that to pass a class. That does it teach you how to read at all.

I did. I know. So this is like what studying it was for. It also doesn't teach. There's studying for everybody else. I swear to God, I did. I did homework less than five times in my life. I'm saying like, yeah, it's clearly I promise you. He can be taught.

It is funny too. So I'm like, wait, I'm failing the class. Why don't I memorize this? And the teacher's like, then you'll pass. Yeah.

You retain it even today. I don't remember any of that shit from back then. Yeah. I don't remember Casey of the bat. He led the two go by and then he got up on the third pitch, called his shot, struck out. Run me the whole thing.

I can't even kind of do it. It's long. What if Ian reads you in? I doubt it. It was a gloomy day. No, in Mudville. The score, I can't do it at all. That's okay.

I really buckled down and did it, though. The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville 9 that day. The score stood four to two with but one inning more to play. Yeah. And then when Cooney died at first and Barrels did the same, a sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game. A straggling few got up to go and deep despair the rest, clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast.

They thought if only Casey could, but get a whack at that. We'd put up even money now with Casey at the bat. Oh, come on, man. You're getting goosebumps. Yeah, seriously. It's a way it's mad long. But, yeah, he struck out. Kickball.

We didn't do kickball as often because it took a lot of organization. You have a different version of it? No. No. I think all that's it. I feel like kickball is universal. Kickball was the one. There was beef over how you pitched. If it was too, what's up?

I'm all good. Oh, I'll take one, sure. Yeah. But beef over how you pitch, like, you couldn't do it too bouncy. You had to roll it like a gentleman. Coke zero. Sherry Coke Zero. I'll take a water and then, like, any snack that looks like I might like it.

Those snacks be, those snacks be killing me in here. I have to really, like, keep my head about it. I just sort of let the... I got so fat or during the taping of the show that I'm still, I'm just, like, sort of petering out from that energy. I get that. And I'm sticking... Today, I think.

I think it's the last day of it. Cool. I like that. I like that, dog. We'll see, though. Yeah. Because tomorrow I might want more. Yeah.

It's hard to do it when we're doing this. It's hard to do it when we're doing this. It's hard to time eating with this. Yeah, tomorrow's a long one too. Anyway, kickball. You pitch it slow, a little, slight little bounce, so you give the person the best chance to kick it. Because I always wanted the action.

Like, I wanted them to kick it. I wanted to have to chase it down. I wanted to throw the ball out. Were you bad or surprising? Can I? I had to pick one of those. Just catch it in the outfield doing the splits on cement. Blood everywhere.

Oh, God. What happened? What are you playing on the cement? Huh? You played on the cement? Yeah, I played a kickball. We had cement in like a... Oh, we played on a baseball field.

I played it on cement. I played it on baseball field. I played it in the gym. Oh, the gym was mat ball for us, but same thing. We just had big mats for bases. But I feel like in the gym. you use, you remember those balls that were like foam, but they were like

a soccer ball, but they were smaller than a kickball? Didn't like them. No, those are dodge balls to me. Give me the bounce. What's your, do your silence or noise. That sounds, can you add a little high pitch on it that sounds like a kickball getting kicked? Yeah, put some, I know the ones you're talking about.

Like, I can't. There's a sound to a kickball getting kicked that was very... That's exactly it. Thank you, Isaac. There's also a sound when it hits you in the face. See, like the pong. Remember you'd hear it like inside of you? Oh, yeah.

It was when you tag someone out and like hit them in the face, it felt pretty awesome. Yeah, it feels cool to hit people. No, I wasn't trying to hit you in the face. It's cool to throw something and hit somebody in the face. It was all right. As long as it was a kickball. Yeah, or football. Yeah, kickball.

Remember those like Nerf vortex? Mm-hmm. The ones with all the ridges in them. Yeah, they would whistle. Mm-hmm. And then the commercial was like John Elway throwing it 100 yards. Which is why is that applicable to be? It probably could do it.

Yeah, I believe it. Yeah. If so facto, I could probably throw it 30. Yeah. I don't think I could throw football 30 yards right now. I think you could. You think? 30, yeah.

Should we get a kickball game going? I'd like to. If people are going to be serious about it, I'd probably say 10, 5 on... Well, if... Do you need 18? I don't think you need a... Nine to nine? One person can work the outfield, as far as I'm concerned.

Maybe to... No, that's a lot of running. I think you- I think you need the baseball number. You don't need a shortstop. Yeah. No, you don't need a short. So one each base, a pitcher, a catcher, and two outfielders.

So four, five, six, seven. Yeah, seven-on-seven. Four of us. Isaac, find us 14 friends, dude. I got you. Okay. David, your second and third picks. Second pick is very Washington.

Oregon also. Yeah. Rain. Rain. Rain really would change the trajectory. Like, I remember you'd go to school sometime. it'd be raining and you'd be like, fuck, are we about to, is this about to be a dub?

Like, are we going to get outside recess? Yeah. Sometimes you did get outside recess, but, or like, I remember a big thing in Washington at one of the schools I went to, it would be like, if you didn't have rubber boots, you couldn't play in the puddles. Hmm. Interesting.

We had to stay under the covered area on the blacktop if it rained. And then, but like. Sometimes it rained so much way to stay inside. That's what I was going to say. Sometimes you would get the inside one. Yeah. And then it's like, man, so now I just got to get diarrhea on the, Oregon Trail the whole recess.

You guys have the awning that cover a big part of the plate. We didn't have that. You did? None of them. No. You were on the oven? All of them. Yeah. Supposed to God and everybody? By everyone. She could see exactly what we were doing. Go tell Johnny Knoxville. God's a woman, you chauvinous pig. Clap your hands.

Me? Yeah, Isaac. You're pointing at me? Oh, I thought you were pointing down under your camera. Oh, yeah. You too. I'm right here to the camera. Well, now I'm talking every. Everybody. Do it. This is your camera, by the way. I don't care.

Do it. This camera can't even catch you. You're pointing at a camera that doesn't... No camera can catch me, do you? You heard me rap? That's true. You had the most camera can catch you rap of all time. Yeah, that's 100% caught on camera.

Oh, look out. Uh-oh. Make sure you floss. You seriously got a brush. It doesn't get back. better. It's like your car. Scott's going to get fixed. Yeah, when it rained.

It was just like such a part of it in Washington. Because I liked when you couldn't go out to the, I preferred being on the blacktop, but the days when we couldn't leave the classroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, sometimes you had a score you didn't want to sew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God for this rain. They always, we were always outside.

I don't think we ever had to stay in. Really? Maybe it was lightning, maybe. Or a tornado or something. But yeah, the weather. Even when it was like negative 30 degrees? I remember those days would just like drag on to the days that they pulled recess. Yeah.

We were just like, I'm now, I'm never leaving. Also for the teachers, by the way. Oh, yeah. They needed that time. How long was recess? 15, 15 and 30. We had 2 15s and a 30, I think. Oh.

I don't even, I can't even remember. So they were preparing you for working at Giant Eagle. This is what it's going to be like at every call center you ever apply it. Two 15s and a lunch. We used to get to pick our lunch break. We could either take an hour and work till 8 or whatever, or we could take a half hour and work till 7.30, and we would eat like we were in prison.

We'd be like, of course, we'd take that half hour break and get off early, but just shoveling like a supersized Big Mac meal and just wolf it down. I would always take the half hour. That was the option. They made me take hours. At that point, you're wandering for the last 15. Which sucks. We'd just be outside smoking cigarettes, too.

Just gnarly. The ashtray, they called it the Cig Shag or the Smokshack. And the ashtray, you couldn't fit another cigarette in there. You just couldn't. It was completely cigarette butts. A lot of them had lipstick on them. It was just such a weird looking thing. Cig Shack.

Grotie. Your third pick. Rain. Oh, what was my other thing? Rain Wilson. Oh, Tetherball. Tetherball. It was so good.

Yeah. I was pretty nice. Also a lot of. A lot of rules, a lot of different rules. Can't grab it. Yeah. You can't like, people would grab it and wind up and just whip it. No around the worlds.

What was around the world? Where like it would just like. You hit it down on your side so it goes out of their reach. Yeah, and then you just, wow, wow, wow. I always thought that was kind of the point to like string. You can't like grab it by the string. Yeah, absolutely. You got to beat it, right?

You got to beat it back and forth. Yeah, well, you just can't like. You can't open hand it. You just couldn't grab the string. Yeah. But you could like kind of cup it and come down. You know what I mean? We had this kid Loon who he could do those.

His name was Loon? Loon, no. Yeah, he's being a kid. But he would do those. You ever see the kids do those things where they get their whole body sideways? Yeah. On a pole? He could do that in elementary school.

A flag? Isn't that a flag? On a tether ball? We'd be going to play tether ball and he'd be like, hold on. And he'd do that and we're like, well, that's cooler. It's awesome. Then we'd try to do that for a minute and be like, right. So tetherball?

Yeah. Good for Lune. It's tight, man. Yeah. Yeah. my finger one time. We got to fight over Battletoads game at his house. You shouldn't have fought Lou. You saw him. You knew he could fly.

You saw that. You knew the strength. He kicked my middle finger. Yeah, of course. I lost a knuckle for a second. It was so big. That was the least he could do to you. That was him holding back as much as possible. That was an act of kindness. But I think I was right. I don't remember what we were fighting about, but I'm sure it was. It was over Battletoads?

It was over Battletoads. Were you the Maroon and playing Battletoads? I can't remember. Too hard. Too hard. That's a good game. It was. Solid game. I remember my mom's friend's son who was six years older than me. I'd play it at his house a lot. Him and his friends would kind of...

It's funny when your mom as a friend and the kid that you're supposed to hang out with for the day is way out of your... Yeah, I mean... We, like, grew up together, though. He, I... Hang out with those guys. I learned a lot of stuff. Uh-huh.

About battle toes. Saw a lot of stuff. Saw a lot of stuff. Found a lot of stuff. Yeah. A lot of apartments. Mm-hmm. That was another thing, too.

about the apartment crew is like any kid from seven to 16 was kind of in this group of like we all hang out. That's totally it. It was like, you're right. It was basically school age. Yeah. It was like if you went to school, you were with us. Yeah.

If you were younger, you were a baby. Yeah. And if you were older, you probably had work. If you were older, yeah, you were in the military. But it was like, yeah, probably like seven to six. So like when you live in apartments, you do have friends. lots of friends who were like, you're nine and they're 15. Wild.

Big difference. Yeah, it led to some fucked up. It was fucked. That's some fun stuff too. Yeah, mostly. I mean like more it was fucked up in hindsight. It's not like, you know. Yeah.

But it was just like, so it would just be like a lot of like, like I remember like 15 year olds telling me what their school was like and thinking like, oh, high school is going to be nuts when I get there. Those gaps are sort of the difference between like seven and six. is so fucking gas. It's a lifetime. Nine and twelve is huge. Yeah, lifetimes away.

The school separate, like high school to middle school is such a leap. Ninth grade to 12th grade, yeah. I know that. That is nuts, too. Thinking about how they, I remember there were 18-year-old kids who could like, they,

what am I trying to think of at? Axtel was middle school, but they had Smoker's Alley where it just kind of was known that that's where you would go smoke cigarettes. In a middle school? Yeah, and you're 12. I mean, it wasn't legal or whatever,

but teachers knew about it. Of course they did. They had to have. They knew about everything we were doing. Smoking was a lot less of a big deal back then, though, right? Feels like it. Yeah. Teachers saw us all the time.

Certainly in the Midwest. Teacher smoked. Young and restless. They sure did. They sure did, David. They played tetherball, though. Let me be wild if a teacher was out there being like, let me show you what time it is.

Bam, just everyone's getting their nose broke. I was pretty good at it. There weren't a lot of people. And you were tall and strong. I mean, those two things are huge. Yeah. And I had a big dog t-shirt. Someone sent me a clip of Sarah the other day on her like viral,

Nyman, on her like viral big dog. Oh, she's got a great big dog one. I didn't put it together that was her. A lot of people have set that clip to me. I'm like, oh, shit. Yeah. Sarah David. Yeah.

Yep, that's what happens when you make room in your heart for a woman who does comedy. Sean? If you keep running that, for Christ's sake. If you keep running it, I'm going to block your number. I've made my choice. Keep running what? This argument. Guy comedians.

That's what I like. Dude comics. That's what I like. Straight. Anglo-Saxon. All. Talking about one thing. In shape.

One thing. Talk about the one thing. Talk about your oppression and how hard it is to be a guy. How it's also hard. Are you doing bits? Fucking guy. Stole a bit from me in front of my face. Anyways.

We all have stories. Sean? All right. Since we're weather related here, I'll play, or I'll pick... Oh, no more tether related now. God.

Play boy weas and the nugs. Chicken's got to eat. I'm going to pick King of the Hill on a big snow mountain. That was a big... Oh, man. I forgot about that shit. That didn't happen.

in Oregon. We were not supposed to do it, but they would plow the playground and make a huge hill and we all had snow suits. If you wanted to go outside, you had to have a snow suit. If it was like actively snowing. So everybody had

one and then yeah, we were just like, what are you going to do? It was like 40 of us on this big snow hoes. And you was just whoever could stand on top of it? Whoever was just at the top? Were you just yanking each other down? Shoveing? Was it yanking or shoving? Was it a everything? All of it. It was, I'd love to go back and see. using any martial arts?

Were you sweeping the leg? Like, you know those guys who would play street fighter who would only leg sweep? That was more moral combat. That was more moral combat. But yeah. No, it was just a bunch of like to get to the top and then you're at the top and it's like in the program or any football drill where like what's it the Oklahoma drill where you're in the middle and people just.

Yeah. That would be at the top and kids are just yanking every party. That was fun. Great. Good time. Yeah. I like that. It'd be hard to do as a.

adult. It hurt more. It would hurt a lot. To get like thrown down to tumble down a hill. We didn't have any snow. It was just a snow hill you would do it at the top of? We had Lebes. I feel like I feel like I also weirdly went to a few schools that would just have dirt hills for no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That kind of thing would happen. Yeah. King of the Hill. We're supposed to be out here at 1.30 by the way. Oh, okay. Well, before my next two picks, we're going to take a short break. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Babbel. Now, we just got done with the World Cup. This is a perfect example about how it would be nice to be able to communicate with everyone who speaks a different language than your own, you know? And I know realistically, we can't learn every language out there. But you can start, you can start learning one and then you're going to get addicted. All right. Trust me, you're going to get addicted. You're going to want to learn them all. And if you're traveling the summer or, you know, a couple of years, people are going to be traveling here for the Olympics. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Try Babbel. Babel. is catered to people with busy schedules, which we all have, even just 10 minutes a day with Babel,

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while supply is last until October 31st, 2026. That's code All Fantasy 50 off at factor meals.com, All Fantasy 50 off at factormeals.com. See website for more details. And we're back from that short break. Hey, welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Has there ever been too...

Wilderman. What? I was going to say, has there ever been too short of a window for you to cut, Isaac? Uh, yeah. Is that? Okay, well, don't make that.

I'm going to give you a really... I'm going to give you a short of a windows I think you can handle. Okay. For this break. And I want you to be able to... I want you to fucking style it out. Sure.

We'll be right back with more All Fantasy thing out. Hold on. I'm blowing it. Room tone. We'll be back with more All Fantasy Everything after this. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. I think you got that. I think you can do it too.

Give it a try. Okay. I think you got that. Put a gunshot in the middle of it. The issue is that I like to fade in and out. Tough luck. Sorry. Sounds like an ongoing issue.

I'm going to take staying in and playing a computer game. We never got to do that. Loved it. I had a feeling that was coming up from the previous conversation. Ucon Trail. Amazon Trail. They were multiple trail games. Oh, I remember Amazon.

Do you remember the Encarta Encyclopedia game? Yes, absolutely. Playing that too. What were the other trail games? We didn't have any other trail games. You got to ask if you got to ask for it. Bro said, what's the other trail games? Bro never had to take pictures of monarch butterflies down south.

Insane. The Amazon one was really fun. It was. You were. you were going down the Amazon River taking pictures. Number munchers, word munchers. Oh, do you remember Math Blaster? Okay, I'll go.

No, it just says three. Oregon Trail number munches word munchers. This is the only ones I remember. Oregon Trail is the oldest computer technology I remember. Yeah. I remember playing it on the floppy. And it was all green. Yeah.

I remember playing on that computer. Hunting. Which is now like more of an, antique than anything. I feel bad. I left behind so many buffalo on that game. I would just hunt. I'd leave the buffalo.

I just wanted to hunt. I was so efficient. It was part of it. It was rewarding to be efficient. I never killed every animal on the screen. I always wanted to kill. I was like, I don't think I even traded.

I don't even think I was like trading. Dude, it was like the Valentine's Day massacre when I was out there. I don't give a fuck about paint or beads. Everybody got it. Show me a civilian. Show me another pilgrim out there. I was playing to shoot. And then football is my fourth.

Yeah, of course. The big football games. They were the, that, that to me is recess. I was thinking this morning, I was like, I think that might have been more fun than actual football. Because we got dinner to the ball. Yeah, we, yeah, that too. We didn't keep score. We just, we honestly would go out.

We would divide into teams and it was like a game just went until recess was over. Yeah. Every recess. We would play like football football. We would play 500. Man, 500 was fun. You know they're still doing 500? I'll buy that.

Or what do they call? There's a better name. S the Q is what? Kill the carrier. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, kill the carrier. We would do, we'd have all-time quarterback because, like, nobody, I never, nobody wanted to be the quarterback. Everybody wanted to, like, be the receivers. Yeah. We did, we would be like. I remember people wanting to be all-time QB. All-time QB.

Do you remember figuring out what the count was? Like, you can't rush till three Mississippi. Yeah, one-apple. two, apple, three apples. We did apple. Apple? Wow, you guys were rushing hard off the line, huh? One apple, well, kids, you know, they'd be like, one, up, two, up, three, apple, and just.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why you hit a Mississippi. Yeah, Mississippi. That was one Mississippi to Mississippi. Mississippi felt like a good amount of time. Yeah. Yeah, it was, that's how, man, I remember to this day, Smith jumped up to catch a pass. Someone took his legs out and just sigh his arm just folded.

And we're like, oh, yeah. We all were seriously about that hard. We're like, shit happens, bro. Yeah, it's the NFL. That's the NFL. That's life in the national football league. Sean, your fourth pick? Oh, man.

Today. Why don't you hurry up and do one? All right, I'll pick, we, I'll pick tag. Tag stuck in the mud. Yeah. You know. Freezer, Egyptian. Again, not like my favorite because I was a big slow kid.

Yeah, yeah. But I saw other kids doing it. It looked great. Just like a raw energy just go. go get energy out and run. I see that with Maxine. Like, she just wants to run. And it's crazy to me.

I'm like, I just want to sit. Young hearts be free tonight, dude. Yeah, she books, bro. Time is on your side. She'd be running. Yeah. Would you say she's born to run? I would say she's born to run.

You know, he's not Jewish? Oh, Bruce. I heard of he's Italian. Can you do that? Bruce Springsteen again? Springwins. You don't need more Jewish. It's already Springsteen.

Do you say Springwitz? I don't know what I said. Can let's hear your born to run again one more time? No. Do you know that song? Maybe. Maybe I don't. Guys like us.

Baby we were born to run. That's what I was going for. You're shaking crazy. We're way off. Because I was born to. I'm trying to do Bruce. Like doesn't he kind of a duck then. Trips like us.

Baby we were born to run. Nah. Potato Potato, baby Potato potato potato potato No which one is that Michael Jackson This is me trying to do Michael Jackson

When I thought this was like 2017 probably Yeah it was way before the movie I thought I had a good Michael Jackson Impression because I'd been doing it to myself And then I came in too confident Petit baby Sounds like Cartman was doing it

Michael Jackson is a hard one Yeah Because like if you fuck it up everybody knows Yeah There was one person that could do it. There's a lot of people who could do it. Eddie Murphy. That's funny.

David, your fourth and final picks. Fourth pick is, oh, man, going out of bounds. Going out of balance. Oh, yeah. Going out, yeah, you never went, like, beyond where you're supposed to be at. Past the sidewalk, past the little creek thing. Oh, man, it was like the beginning of, there was like that scene in rain. where somebody would be, you'd be like, you don't want no parts of this.

We're going, we're going down the hill. We're all playing tetherball cut to David out there counting money just out on the wrong side of the sidewalk. So we're going to see. Just got to switch your hang and like, what are you looking up? Like, don't look at me. There's nothing for you over here. You don't want anything out here. Yeah, stay over there where life is good.

I didn't choose this life. Isn't that weird when kids had money when like a, yeah. Like a eight-year-old had like 50 bucks for some reason. I remember I thinking it was weird when kids had wallets where I was like, what the fuck you got? What are you doing with a wallet? We had them, but they were like, people would have magic cards. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, or stickers. I didn't have a wallet until I was 27 years old. We used to make paper wallets and stuff like that. Uh-huh. I remember in high school kids would make duct tape wallets. I had a duct tape wallet when I met Ian. I'll buy that. Yeah, it was leather, but it was more duct tape than leather.

Like Robocop for wallets. Yeah. And your final pick? Romance. Oh, yeah. That was where it started. Yeah. It was like the beginning of all romances were all started on research.

I already drafted my version of it, which was longing. There was never any. He's never any talking. Not even for me, just seeing the girl and going like this. She's like 200 yards away, but you're talking to her. Hey, what's happening? It's good to see you. Probably, probably good, probably nothing.

Probably played goldmagn go to bed. It's good. No, I got like 20 pictures on Amazon. I mean, if you want to play football with us, that'd be great. You're more apples for you. You're more than welcome to. Holy buckets. Sean, your final pick.

I'm going to pick finding snakes. That was always a fun thing. Oh, we never did that at school. We had a big grass field. We find garter snakes. Nice. I've told this before, but this kid smashed. It's Garder?

It's not Garden. Garter. It's both. I think you could probably say a garden snake and I'd know what you were getting at. But I think it's Garter with a teat. It's Garter, yes. What happened though? Do share what happened.

Kid crushed the snake's head with a rock and there was a bunch of girls talking and he's like, check this out. He went in the middle of the circle. Look at me. He went like this. It was insane. Oh, I hate that. It, that has to be, that's psychotic, right? That's a psycho.

Kids were really doing antisocial stuff when you were a kid. It was, that's like, I remember seeing some kids do some shit where you're like, it's the behavior of a psycho. Yeah, you're not okay. Yeah. You're not going to, this, this society they're learning us, teaching us to fold into, it's not for you. No, no, no, no, no, no, you will have to find a different way.

I ever looked to see what he's up to. I said, can't hold you. I wonder if he remembers that he did that, you know? Like, if he thinks about that. a lot. He probably still does it at night time. I got, I can't believe it came all the way back around to me. Taking a wall ball. It was left on the table. Oh man, yeah. That's what I thought you kickball. What's wall ball? We talked about this the other day.

Wall balls. Like handball, handball basically. Yeah, there would be like kind of a rectangle on the wall. Yeah. And you would like two players and you would hit the ball and have to hit the ground, then hit the wall, then bounce back. Then the next kid would have to do it. I got you. And it had like so many Byzantine rules. Like no skimmers. Yeah. Skimmers. Was that a line? Like where you would just cycle through? Like the layup drill or whatever, the backboard drill? You used to play a lot of wall ball and then me and my friends killed a guy with a hot dog cart. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you went to that prison for boys. Okay, sure, sure, sure. We sort of glossed over what happened. I just wanted to say that I read the book too, so I could also add to the conversation. You didn't see the movie? I saw the movie way. I'm more of a book guy.

You know what's weird? I read the book way before I saw the movie too. I read the book way after. You saw the movie and you were like, I got a... You know what's weird? I got to spend a little more detail. I read, I think it was called Wise Guy. I read the Goodfellas book before I saw a movie.

Oh, wow. Because we got it at, like, my parents used to go to discount bookshunders all the time. B. Dalton. Yeah. Said something about sugar bowls full of cocaine. Said this book's crazy. This book's crazy and so am I. I'd like to know more.

Just crazy enough. Yeah, Walball. That was like, that was the game for us. For Square, yes, but I think Walball was sort of the game. I think sort of the NFL. And Bethany Elementary. Mm-hmm. Isaac, do you have a pick?

Yeah, I want to pick basketball, but I actually didn't play basketball until middle school. I did play soccer. Oh. I would just kick the ball with most of my friends. Kids weren't really playing basketball in my grades. No. Really? We weren't.

You know, we weren't really doing it either. You know where basketball went down more than at school? The fucking apartments. Yeah, yeah. That I bet. Because it was like basketball, it would be like you'd get home from school and we could play until the adults got home from work. Until they started getting...

Oh, man. Had hell of basketball. Basketball used to go up as a kid. Yeah. I was never any good at it as much as I wanted to be, so I was kind of stayed out of it. I think I was in my basketball prime at like fifth grade. The amamis were the good kids in our cul-de-sac.

Three brothers. All of them good. Umami brothers? You mommy. They were a Persian. I'm picturing six-year-old you. Three brothers. All of them good.

All of them are good. Let me paint a picture of my cul-dice. Each of them more Persian than the one before. Princess of Persian. Each brother is slightly more Persian. It would be sick to be in a crew of brothers. We've got one now, but we're so far apart in age. They were, the oldest one was the best.

Mike, Mikey Mommy. He was great at basketball. To recap, David, you one first? You took settlement? scores rain tether ball going out of bounds and romance that almost sounds like you take out tetherball this is a completely different draft it's the chapters of your uh my sex novel yeah Sean you took four square kickball king of the hill tag and finding snakes I took seeing the girl you have a crush on swings staying in and playing a computer game football and wall ball

several different kinds of balls what do we leave on the board eating lunch early Yeah. Somebody having toys. That was cool. The slide. Oh, the slide was good. Racing. Racing?

Yeah. That's a half a dome that you could hang off of, monkey bars. Man, I remember seeing kids fall from the top of that shit? They don't make, I don't even see those in parks anymore. No, and they got that soft where you're like, where's that ground at when we were kids? The technology didn't exist yet. It's made up a chopped up shoes. We were wearing it.

That ground is so rad now. You had to earn that. You were falling on bark dust. Yeah. You were lucky. It wasn't good. Or concrete. We want to hear yours,

Hit us of All Fantasy Podcasts at gmail.com. Yeah. Shot Tambert on the AFE Patreon and most of the people on the AFE subreddit. Oh, that's right. Most of them, most of you. Big chunk.

Big chunk. I would say a vast majority. Fast majority. And the rest of you? Fuck you. Be better. Be nice. I was joking.

shout out to Superproducer Isaac on the ones and twos We love you so much Shout to St. Sue Carmel Shout to Frankie Ocean Sound of a shit the shit the dude Shout out to Sid the dude I hear the internet's making new music

Shout to uh uh Frank is gonna say the dude Hajjibats A more important than all on that Tune again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything Shackety

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