All Fantasy Everything - Robots (w/ Dana Schwartz, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

BEEP BOOP. With all this AI talk we decided to just rip off the bandaid and draft “Robots!” Joining us on our journey is known robot enthusiast Dana Schwartz! 10100010110 [that’s binary for enjoy!] Episode Guest: Dana Schwartz @danaschwartzzz IG: @danaschwartzzz Podcast: Noble Blood IMMORTALITY book tour dates here.   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail]  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting robots. Our guest today is New York Times' number one best-selling author, TV writer, and host of Noble Blood.

Her new book, Immortality, A Love Story, is available now for pre-order we're joined by the incredible dana schwartz i'm your host ian carmel and joining me as always are my friends and comedians sean jordan and david borey let's get into it Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is recording from four guests, three different locations. Yeah, can you guys hear each other? I mean, obviously. Ian's very loud when he does the intro, and it echoes through the door.

Oh, I'm sorry. No, I like it. Am I loud? I like it. Okay. I guess also four different locations, five people, because Marissa's here as well, broadcasting. In Toronto. From a hot air balloon.

Actually from LA today. You're in LA? No, don't fly in a hot air balloon over America these days. Yeah, they won't get you. She's in a hot air balloon over Bolivia. She's in a hot air balloon over Bolivia. You took a hot air balloon. She's a dirigible-based transportation maven.

Whoa, that was a fancy word. I've been saying that for, yeah, I've been saying that for years. I knew what transportation and she meant. If I knew what dirigible meant. It's a fun word. What does it mean? It's like a transport. Oh, go ahead, Debbie.

I'm sorry. No, no, no, please. It's a transport blimp? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. It's called a dirigible? Dirigible.

Yeah, that's your Scrabble roster. I think the difference between a dirigible and a blimp is their frame. Is that right? I have no idea. You're ahead of me now. Double R's or single R's? I think single R's. Yeah, single R's.

A lot of I's. You get three I's in there, which is fun. D-I-R? D-I-R-I-G-I-B-L-E. I feel like I've made Sean play Scrabble with me. I love Scrabble. You don't make me play Scrabble. We've never played Scrabble.

Come back to LA, get so drunk, and let's play Scrabble. Do you think that doesn't sound like exactly what I'd love to do? That's perfect. That's a perfect day. That's exactly what we should be doing. Lemon, get a lemon from the backyard. That's perfect. That's a perfect day. That's exactly what we should be doing. Lemon. Lemon. Get a lemon from the backyard. That's right.

Make another cocktail with it. Yep. Like the last time. And then Bananagrams, Trivial Pursuit, and we'll throw Scrabble in the mix. Yeah. And then we watch some TV or something. I ate a lemon thinking it was an orange the other day. Oh, that's a hard time. Did you peel it?

How did you? It was in Hawaii. And I had eaten this one orange, and then it was like, the lemon peel was not quite yellow. Yeah. So it looked fairly similar to the orange peel. Sure. And I was like, oh, okay, this is just a little bit different.

Hawaii's got all this fruit. Hawaii's out here. I would make the exact same, especially hawaii where you're like i'm about to i'm about to open my world up in a way that like i've never experienced before fruit wise i mean fresh fruit is maybe one of the top five pleasures of life absolutely true like fruit fruit from the vine or whatever yeah it's like that's about as good as it's good for you candy life force still coursing through it. Yeah, sun warmed.

I'm saying, and I just had this orange that was amazing. And I was like, I'm going to get a little decadent. I'm going to do it again. Did you bite right into it? You bit? Bit hard. Bit with all the confidence of an orange. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Bit it like it was going to a sweet delicious orange the meyers lemon is a frequent perpetrator of such atrocities because it has kind of that orange like yellow peel but still delicious you know what it made me feel like i was like i it made me like flashback to like i was like like, I could be a homemade lemonade guy. That's what I thought. What I've been into. I don't like pulp. I can't do pulp in there.

I believe that. That would be the big thing. That would be the big thing for me. That's not common people rules. You got to admit that. Sure. Oh, wait, is that a band? You're talking about the band Pulp. That's right.

I'm talking, I like that song, Like a Friend. I don't know the song Common People, but I do know the song Like a Friend by Pulp. You don't know Common People? I don't know either of these songs. No? Hit me. I'll put it on the playlist. You would fucking love it. It's a good-ass song. Pulp, so remember when you had to buy a CD just to hear what the...

Like, you'd hear one song, so you're like, I'm going to get the whole CD. I don't remember any of that. David's 26. Yeah, he didn't even have Livewire even lie he didn't even he didn't even have live wire no dude i remember tiktok i'm 52 i'm rebranding the other way so i definitely like that i remember brand up yeah how old are you well i lie and say i'm i'm 52 but i'm really 42 yeah it's because i can't wait i'm 41 i'm 41 yeah you are 41 yeah i had the pulp cd so maybe i had that song who knows who's to say

threw all my cds out did you buy it at sam goody bought it at disc jockey playboy do they sell it yonkers yeah they didn't sell music at yonkers they had yonkers what do you think they had at yonkers they had perfumes and underwear i think they had reasonable places to sit i bet the biggest underwear underwear that you could use is like a parachute. For sure. Top sale underwear. It was a dirigible situation. Did they have their own branding deals? So Yonkers, we were doing a little pre. Stop saying Yonkers.

We talk about it on pre-roll. It's Yonkers. Is it Yonkers? It's Yonkers. It's Yonkers. There's a U in there. Give the U the respect it deserves. It was founded by three Polish Jews. I think we get to decide how it's pronounced, Bubba. there give it give the you the respect it deserves it was founded by three

polish jews i think we get to decide how it's pronounced bubba me and the three polish jews on this podcast you guys get to decide yeah the three polish jews it's like saying couch street it's cooch but it's spelled couch it's yonkers did they have their own wait wait no no no no no no no in portland there's like there's a street that's spelled couch it's called cooch i did hate that not a lot bothers me about this city if i'm being honest but one thing that bothers me is if you call it couch and you're from out of town and then people look at you like oh you fucking idiot and you're like no it's spelled couch i you should think it was couch i was devastated by the uh carmel blaylock family the first time i did they rip did You should think it was couch. I was devastated by the Carmel Blaylock family the first time I visited.

Did they rip you up? It was a very polite correction, but I felt humiliated. Anyone from anywhere likes making anyone from anywhere else feel like an asshole for going there. Okay, so let's not pretend this is a Portland thing. If you go to Sioux Falls, no one's ever been mean. That's not true they won't if you call it Pierre they'll be like oh man you look great in that

light it's actually pronounced Pierre is what they say yeah welcome to our fair city that one's pronounced Pierre it's houses the women's state penitentiary for our fair city if anyone's visiting Sioux Falls they're there on behalf of the FBI and they're definitely packing a weapon I'll be visiting tomorrow and the only

weapon I'm going to pack is a bunch of hugs for all my friends and i'm pretty excited about it wait where are you right now are you on that tour right now no i'm in portland i leave tomorrow oh and then we're going uh yeah um well this comes out on thursday come see me in fargo with kyle canane and fat donger ah shauna's joint on twitter sean cougar melon jordan on instagram where else can they see you, my friend? I'll be at the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins, Colorado, Easter weekend. I think it's the 7th and 8th, I think. It's that Friday and Saturday of Easter weekend.

But come hang out. Come see me. And then I'll be in Boulder on Easter. I didn't think about that. But yeah, I'll be doing the Boulder Comedy Show on Easter. John is risen. Oh, you believe in all that, huh? He's going to hit that Christ Air 9000.

Yeah, it's one of his defining traits. You meant Riz-en like R-I-Z-Z, like Riz, the way kids on TikTok say it? What do kids say? I know about Riz now because of my little brother. What's Riz? You know, it's like when you Riz up a lady. It's like cool. I think as the older people because of my little brother. What's rizzed? You know, it's like when you rizz up a lady. It's like cool. Like you're having a little like, I think as the older people would say, like swag.

Yeah, it's like I got rizzed. I rizzed them up. I thought the kids were still saying swag. I rizzed them up. No, kids are saying rizz. No, they're rizzing. That sounds fake. That's so funny.

So there's some youth pastor this Easter, I swear, I promise you, who's going to say he is rizzing. And he is gonna say he is risen and he is 100 100 no that's how you know riz is on the way out the reason wizens on the way out is because we know about yeah because we're telling sean this is the end of riz that's it this is the official death date put it on the carpet on the headstone that's how it's not slang anymore as soon as i catch wind they're like oh we gotta stop it was a good run because my little brother said it and i felt so cool not having to ask him what that meant it sounds so fake because like swag i can only it's swag swagger that makes sense but i can't do that i can't i feel like i feel like riz is a

little more like where my brother used it he was like yeah I got the job I met this guy and I Riz'd him up and then he was like he gave me the job it probably sounded great when you said it but what's the etymology of it what does Riz come from we can't do this

what is the etymology of it dad uncross your legs we're Riz'ing I'm stretching right now What is the etymology of it, Dad? Uncross your legs. We're risen. I'm stretching right now, dude. I'm multitasking. I think it comes from charisma. Oh, that makes sense. I didn't even think about that.

But I might be wrong. And if this is so embarrassing, don't tell me. Nobody listens to this podcast who would know. Our 20-year-old listeners are going to be pissed. We do have 20-year-old listeners. There is? Yeah. embarrassing don't don't tell me nobody listens to this podcast who would know yeah our 20 year old listeners are gonna be pissed we do have 20 year old listeners yeah they're in the car with their parents yeah no i think we probably also have 20 year old listeners beetlejuice is chasing his tail right now in a big way yeah tell him to get it beetlejuice has got some riz. Oh, yeah. Beetlejuice is fully riz'd up, dude. Oh, I can't. I can't.

No one will get it, and that'll look even dumber. Are you going to try to put it, implement it into your house? I'll say it in Sioux Falls at the airport. We'll see what happens. That's where you're going to try the new slime. See if I can riz myself in the first class upgrade here. I'll try it at the airport. They'll know.

First class at the airport, there's just less outside you're just like you got an umbrella why don't you go ahead and riz me up a thicker shot of that jameson at the airport for three dollars they'll give them to you as been a pint glass my man that dude i gave the guy like 20 bucks or something he looked at me like i was jay-z it was crazy that's. Like he'd never been tipped before or something. Now how somebody who works at the Sioux Falls airport would look at Jay-Z? I know. I think it'd go one of two ways. I think it'd go the second way.

Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. Well, Riz it up, dude. He is risen. Happy Easter.

You're going to be where on Easter? Fort Collins, Colorado. Colorado. Oh, tell, tell Portland people to come out uh i i'll tell them come out for we're gonna get to you in a second we'll get to you we'll get to you

yonkers david borey is here cool guy joke 77 on instagram yeah no longer on twitter not have any book events in portland as far as i know but we'll get to that later not yet no no no uh you want my dates that's right March 23rd through 27th I'm gonna be or 23rd through 26th I'm gonna be at Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale California basically San Francisco March 31st through April 1st I'm gonna be to be in Dallas-Fort Worth. April 7th through April 10th, I'm going to be in Anchorage, Alaska. Also, April 2nd on Adult Swim, the premiere of Royal Crackers. Next day, three episodes drop on HBO Max. I'm in every episode, so don't skip any. That's great. And i play a lawyer finally a good fucking show on hbo this is like the prestige i've been saying i'm like

if you like succession but you want it to be about a failing cracker company based in bakersfield cal California. This is it. This is next, baby. Me, Andrew Santino, the lady who is the voice of Naruto. Whoa. Gilbert Gottfried's in an episode. Yeah. Yeah.

You have my interest, yeah. Yeah. Gilbert Gottfried's in an episode. Whoa. Yeah. I think it must have been one of the lessons he did. Very funny, though. They showed me. of the lessons he did. Very funny though. They showed me. I got all the

episodes. Very funny. Yeah, so watch that. Sounds Rizzy, dude. And then Marissa, can you cut this out? Sure. Oh yeah, that's all my dick. Excellent.

Dana Schwartz is here. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump the gun. I'm sorry. No, it was good. It was good. We'll just never have you back and our marriage is over.

Yonkers. Yonker. I'm just joking. There he is. Little Eddie. Little Eddie Croissant bundled up on the couch. Next week,

Dana Schwartz is here at Dana Schwartz with three Z's on Twitter, at Dana Schwartz with three Z's on Instagram, at a local bookseller near you because Immortality, a Love Story,

the sequel to the New york times number one bestseller anatomy a love story is coming out very soon why don't you give us all the pertinent details uh thank you very much uh february uh 27th is a monday barnes and noble at the grove uh in la the next day tuesday the 28th, San Diego, Mysterious Galaxy. Wednesday, March 1st, Beaverton, Oregon, home of my husband Dean Carmel. You're coming to Beaverton?

I'm coming to Beaverton. Come to Beaverton. I will. Monday, March 6th, The Strand in New York City. Tuesday, March 7th, Naperville, Illinois Illinois Anderson's Bookshop Wednesday That's home I'm staying with my parents

Wednesday March 8th Nashville Tennessee Parnassus Books and then I'm out Please come Ian will be working So I will be lonely and if no one comes It'll be really embarrassing Now if people don't live In any of those cities

where can they get them when is immortality a love story out what's the best way for them to buy copies of it the best thing for them to do if they don't live in any of those cities is to preorder right now go to like bookshop dot org get it from a local bookstore yeah it costs the same amount of

money and proceeds go to keep local bookstores open yeah there you go it's uh out on february 28th is the official date but if you're in la you get it a day early showing up uh at the on the 27th i've read it it's fantastic sean what did you think of anatomy a love story stop man you know i feel bad about it i'm sorry i really do it's a it's a very rude situation that I'm in, and I apologize. It's a very rude situation that I'm in. It was rude of Ian to do that when both of us are on the call. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. I was going to bring it up. I was going to bring it up anyways because the general needs a signed copy. That's what I'm saying. Did he say that? Yeah. He said it at the wedding. Did he really?

Yeah. That's really funny. So many people in my family have read that book and i think you haven't read it yet because you are responsible for it passing through so many different hands there we go you are a you're a maven is what it is i say the center spoke through you that's right the glue i thank you you're but a mere vehicle and it's and now that max is a little bit older and you're not on constant you know what i mean watching your growing dutter you know yeah you can have maybe a little time to yourself to actually read a book but you've been so busy connecting people and raising a again a dutter proud feminist hashtag

girl dad so uh riz yourself on over to a bookstore and pick up Immortality. I don't think that was right. Riz up the cashier and Riz yourself a copy of it. There you go. Or if you're broke, just go Riz one. No.

Now we're cold again. Riz into Nobleblood? Yeah. No, I don't think that is either if you're if you're violin if you're uh if your bow's not sticking on the violin just kind of put some risen on it yeah you'll be all right okay risen the jizzin he is jizzin he is just that's so many levels that one works that's a painting of dispensers somewhere yeah he is jizzing.

Probably a t-shirt. It's probably a t-shirt. It's like a boardwalk. It's a boardwalk jersey t-shirt with like the Tasmanian devil on it. I bet it's on Venice. Go to the boardwalk. You're right. Tasmanian devil on the cross with a boner.

Jizzing. He is jizzing. Where is that t-shirt? Dude, you got to cut this out again, Marissa. Okay. Dana, are those all your dates? Those are all my dates. There we go.

Perfect. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on a Jewish Risen app. We're just out here Risen it up on the streets, Jewish style. It might be called the Jisen app? Where we're just out here Risen it up on the streets Jewish style. It might be called the Jisen app. The Yonkers? Ian Carmelo, Jewish Yonkers, which is any Yonkers.

It drives me crazy. It's been out of business for a decade and it's still like it's Yonkers. Yeah, you seem very upset about this Yonkers thing. I never thought it was Yonkers until now denver colorado thursday june 22nd friday june 23rd and saturday june 24th i will be at the comedy works downtown bye come see me that's you're gonna riz him up there i'm gonna riz him up i'm funny i'm gonna stand up comedy i want you all to come out and see it uh i don't know when else I'll be in Denver.

So make sure you come see that. Watch the Late Late Show. You are running out of opportunities. When is the last day? April 28th, 27th. Wow. How are you feeling? Feel good.

Did you guys get an extra week? Because I remember it was going to be April 20th before. It was. Nice. Or I was wrong something happened i think maybe they just didn't tell us so april 27th is the final show nice nice does it feel cool that you were there like you were there the whole whole career dude to the tudor i'm like paul pierce in it one jersey the whole time i'm stoked yeah i remember i

remember hanging out with you at riot la yeah you were like hey my new boss is coming over and then cordon came in like and drank with us yes yeah yeah yeah that was like and so it's like it's crazy to and then now you're on air talent look at that that is how you ascend that's right it's been amazing it's been amazing i'm really i'm very proud to have been there the whole time and we are doing i can't talk about what it is but we're about to film something so insane that okay marissa you have to cut this out that's crazy. Anyway, watch The Late Late Show.

You are running out of opportunities. And come see me in Denver. Those are my only dates because I am working on, I'm spending most of my time working on something which I'll be able to talk about soon, which I'm very excited about. But we are gathering here today not only to talk about several redacted things that Marissa has had to take out of the podcast that are very exciting on the horizon.

We've been going nuts. But also to fantasy draft robots. Dana, this was your idea? Yeah, I was throwing out a lot of them. You were throwing out a bunch. They were all genius. Yeah. I like robots.

It was a no-brainer. Seems fun. Feels like one we should have done before. There's a lot of robots. There's going to be a lot of debate about what constitutes a robot. There's going to be a lot. I think so. Really?

We'll find out. Well, I'm glad that you don't think there is either, because then it won't just be me. I thought it was pretty clear, but in talking to my beautiful bride. We kind of came to a good balance. Yeah. Okay. We're going to fucking hold court on the streets in a second here because the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot here we go rock paper scissors shoot ah wait i did it yeah wait i did it against two papers yeah yeah putting a rock in a soft place you know do you remember being a kid

did you ever do iraq and iran what do you ever do that in rock paper scissors no you go up to a kid you say name two countries in the middle east and you say iraq and iran and you hit him in the nuts and you run away no but i might start doing that now yeah that sounds fun it's assault now they're not gonna fire me from this job with like two months left i could i could iraq and iran i was thinking i was sitting in the house the other day i was realizing we used to play i don't want to say we used to play s the q all the time yeah like that was crazy yeah which was just brutalizing someone teachers teachers were like oh they're playing as the q yeah it was like rugby without a ball

yeah it was you just you just wanted it we were we'd call it kill the carrier too but yeah like we never called it kill him bad one i'm pretty sure my coaches told everyone to ask the cue when i did the splits at football so i'm sure that's what he i'm sure he had a lot of choice choice games to play for you that game was brutal enough on its own without the homophobia tossed in but they went ahead and tossed the homophobia in too yeah yeah just to just to put a cherry on top and yet somehow that seems healthier than whatever's happening on Instagram. Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah, I would be scared to be a kid.

I think I'd be so bad at being a kid now. Oh, it seems so much more complicated. Because I've always been behind technology even as a kid. Yeah, totally. So I feel like now I would just be like a dinosaur. Apparently Snapchat's popping with the kids still. Yeah. My little brother, they love the streaks.

They love the streaks. Like they'll be like, oh, look at my streaks with all these people. Yeah. Yeah. That's been, as far as I know, almost the whole time. I mean, we have a family Snapchat called Family Matters. I don't even know how to use Snapchat. I don't think I have it anymore.

We have a Schwartz 6 group chat, and then we have a Schwartz 9 group chat with spouses. Oh, nice, nice, nice. It's good for that. It's really good for family group chats. That's not on Snapchat. That's on text. That's on text.

We don't know. Wait, your family is on Snapchat? We have a family snapchat called family matters that's tight because the because the boys did it the younger boy the young boys figured it out uh sean jordan as the winner of rock paper scissors it isn't coming upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question it's like how i imagine a cartoon building a brick building so like if you just in my mind i don't really think this is how you build a building out

of bricks but you just do one layer on the bottom and then put the stuff in between is that the mortar by the way that's the mortar yeah so you just you go like lay bricks left to right you put the mortar down and then you lay bricks right to left. Is this how you build a brick something in real life? Yeah. You can't start at the top. So this is just how you build something from bricks in real life.

And then you go right to left and then you lay another layer of mortar down and then left to right and then mortar, mortar, mortar. Right to left until you got yourself a building. And then I guess the bricks insulate it for you. So you just kind of move into the building and you're good. But they have it right there.

Basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round. You pick first in the second round. Now, Sean, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go first. Oh, okay. Then Dana. Thank you.

Dana Schwartz. Then David. David Boyd. Oh. Okay. Then Dana. Thank you. Dana Shorts. Then David. David Boyer. And then Ian. Hot corner. Happy to have it. Happy to have it. Sean Jordan, you have the first pick in the All Fantasy Everything robot draft.

And we're going to get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. right after this short break. You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages and we all only know one. Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. They had science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way of learning a new language. Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're handcrafted

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for Noble Blood where Dana Schwartz talks about the Bloods and Crips rivalry. That's what the podcast is about. Yeah, the Noble Bloods rivalry that's what the hot guest is about yeah the noble john's got noble crips dan's got noble bloods will you give me a fact that i always mess up you you told me one time or did i see it on your instagram that carrots aren't actually

good for your eyes yeah well so they they are good for your eyes they're like you know vitamin a is good for your eyes but the whole rumor that but that carrot specifically for your eyes. They're like, you know, vitamin A is good for your eyes. But the whole rumor that carrots specifically make your eyes amazing at seeing in the dark, it was British propaganda during World War II because the British had invented radar. And they didn't want the Germans to know that they had invented radar. So they began this entire propaganda campaign that actually, because British people ate so many carrots, their eyes were just really good at seeing in the dark. I love that. That's awesome. Okay. I wish I had a recording of every time I tried to say a version of that at like lunch or something. And I was like, ah, I'm really screwing this up. But carrots aren't that great for you.

It always ended on me being like, carrots aren't that great for your eyes. I'm telling you. for your eyes. It always ended on me being like, carrots aren't that great for your eyes, I'm telling you. That's my person. They're good for your eyes, but not as good as radar technology. Not as good as blood pudding. Yeah, dude. That's what it really is. I like blood pudding.

I don't know what blood pudding is. Me too. Blood pudding is actually really good. It is what it sounds like. It's like a black pudding, blood pudding. They're almost sausage, kind's like a black pudding, blood pudding. They're like kind of a breakfast. They're almost sausage. They're kind of like a mealy breakfast sausage kind of situation.

The British people call a lot of shit pudding. Right, right. And biscuits. And biscuits. Well, biscuits, yeah. Biscuits are like dry cookies, right? Yeah. Biscuits are dry cookies. Pudding is a vibe.

It's just a feeling. I will say I talked a lot of shit about English breakfast, and then when I had it there, I was like, this is actually, I get it. It's legit. I've seen pictures. It looks great. It's good. I've seen pictures. I know what it looks like.

I love an English breakfast. Are you going to England twice? Just once in August. Oh, we're going to Italy. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, aren't you going to Italy for like just once and in august oh we're going to italy that's right yeah yeah yeah are you going to italy for like a month yeah soon soon the show's over but that's not what we're here to do we're to draft fucking robots baby sean jordan you have the first pick in the robot draft so i'm i'm pretty sure all these count but uh yeah first robot i'm gonna take is r2d2 yeah that's for sure that's a robot absolutely it is yeah i you know there's like the term

droid and you know so i'm like it's got but it's a robot it's a robot that's a robot that's a robot too right yeah yeah yeah i will i'm sure we'll get more into that but yeah r2d2 just the first thing that popped in my mind uh when i heard the word when i always hear the word he's the he's the first rope they he they she i don't know i don't know either you always say he uh it is the first thing that pops into my mind is the robot R2-D2. Ian's standing up and clapping, everybody, if you can't hear. I think it's wonderful that you've divorced these robots from gender, and I just think it deserves some applause.

Sean, can you do an R2-D2 voice? Can you do like the... That was good. The answer is yes. I always liked R2-D2 the best because he was snarky. He's sassy. He's always zapping people. He's a little zapper. You don't know what he's saying, but you know it's sassy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's always like, you idiot. You just know he's saying you idiot a bunch. Don't they do in the Sith or something when they start making him cartoony, doesn't he piss oil all over something? I think he might. He really goes for it.

He's always got that little wrench coming out hooking into stuff and then it's just really satisfying. And he's getting into shocking himself but still getting the job done. Like that or whatever yeah people can understand it which i think is fun like can't luke speak droid yeah they all can it seems like they all understand what they talk back in english which is pretty disrespectful

it is they should be talking back in droid yeah speak back in droid well it's actually all star wars is all shot in the united states so you know is it i don't is that is that for i don't know united space airspace i mean it depends on how much you think like up the united states is i assume just till infinity so up yeah they're just they're they're always they're always over the country you know what's a fun, annoying thing to do to someone is to be like, do you think Star Wars is futuristic? Oh, dude. Tony used to do. Yes, I do.

Because it actually takes place a long, long time ago. I know. Tony used to do this to me when I talk about Game of Thrones. I'd be like, I was crazy way back then. He's like, oh, you idiot. It's a different universe. I don't. I'm just saying., you idiot. It's a different universe. I'm just saying.

It's the 1980s in a different universe. I always thought it was funny that Star Wars started out with a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It's like, is it a long time ago? What? I mean, it's supposed to be like, yeah, I get it. Yeah. Because they're trying to make it like a legend, you know, like a retelling this like legend of old. Do they ever say dates?

They don't ever say it was this time period or whatever, right? Like they never. There's no, I wonder if in the prequels, they're like opening the Galactic Senate and they're like on this day, but I don't know if they give, I think they do give years, but the years are different.

Yeah. If you go on like Wikipedia. And how long is a year on these planets? So this is a very embarrassing thing. I had to, I wrote a short story for like a star Wars anthology collection and they had to like fact check everything by star Wars fact checking. And so there are star Wars years that like people,

but they, they call them different things. Is it like in, in star Trek with star date, blah, blah, blah, blah them different things. Is it like in Star Trek with Stardate, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? Except Stardate, that's like on Earth, right? That's like an extension of Earth. Yeah, I think so. I don't know anything about Star Trek. Honestly, I don't know shit about

Star Trek. So it's like the years are like A, B, Y, but I don't know. Interesting. There's like the Lothal calendar and the CRC calendar, and i don't know what any of that means after the formation of the empire is is afe that's right afe afe god damn right yeah yeah we're uh we're empire boys no i don't want to be an Empire boy. Big time Empire. We're set. This is a Sith podcast. Yeah. Palpatine.

I'm just saying stuff. Sith with it. Plagueis. The wise. Oh, what's up? R2-D2. R2-D2. Good pick.

It's a great pick. Thanks, bro. What are you drinking there, Sean? These like Costco little coffees in a pinch. Nice. Like a bomb. Little coffees in a pinch. I don't like the sugary, though. They're like the mocha, you know? The older I get, the more I just want like bitter coffee pitch i don't like the sugary though they're like the moke you

know i the older i get the more i just want like bitter coffee i don't like the sugar stuff starting to get a little bit more like you cartwheel like you well i don't think you drink coffee anymore but you're always just like straight black coffee you do yeah just straight black right yeah unless unless you go get a white flat in or a flat white in portland and then you just drink it however they make it oh that, that Starbucks drink? You take what you get, you dirty little boy. Yeah, the Starbucks drink. I will explode. I will explode next time somebody tries to do that to me.

Haven't twice, right? Yeah, at the same spot. We don't make that. That's a Starbucks drink. You motherfucker. It's a Star Wars drink. It's a Star Wars drink. Go back there. I'll take a blue milk. We don't make that. It's a Star Wars drink. Get Rizzy with it and just come back out with a flat white i'll give you eight american dollars i'll tell you what's been nice is our sponsor trade coffee as far as coffee goes

dude it rules it smells so good oh yeah they give you and it's gonna be like free ad they give you what you want like yeah when i filled out the thing i was like i make iced coffee at home out of ground coffee i don't have a grinder anything and so they sent you they send you exactly stuff that's supposed to be made into iced coffee that's already ground and it's sick anyway you know what i've been using is that liquid iv i me too we got into it like two weekends ago free ads all all over the place all over the place yeah stuff is great yeah it's like a good little replacement for an energy drink too it's just like the energy one is the one specifically i use yeah like little mid-afternoon pick-me-up hydration big time hydration i also use the soap from bespoke

post in our guest bathroom it's lovely if we're just shouting out everybody who sent us recently we made the apple cinnamon donuts from bespoke. And I used the Harry's body wash. You want to talk about the cleanest goddamn shave you're ever going to get? Get yourself a Harry's razor. My neck feels like it's never grown hair after I shave. All I do is wear American giant pants. I don't shave. I don't shave myself.

No, I bring people into that. Yeah, I have a razor word problem. Gotta have a razor guy. Shout out to chris at sauce money barbershop free ad r2d2 uh davis schwartz time for your first pick um this is a basic pick but it's the first round so i'm doing it the iron giant yeah it's a great robot yeah it's a good robot he's voiced by vin diesel family uh he eats metal which is cool metal um he's he will save your city from a nuclear blast and he's like a he's a cool friend

he's a cool guy he'll pick you up and like run with you it seems fun i love the iron giant it's a movie i love i think i made ian watch it you hadn't seen it right no i hadn't seen it i made ian watch it it's a good movie i have never seen it i only know the iron giant from ready player one which i like in ready player one i mean i knew it from the movie but i've never seen the movie but when they use the iron giant ready player one someone did point out which is very funny that like the whole point of the movie the iron giant is that he's like i don't want to be a weapon he's like i'm he doesn't want to be a gun is like his whole thing he's like that's not what i am you don't have to be the thing you want to be and then in a ready player one it's like yeah

get the iron giant out smash it all up he's the biggest gun we have it's like the cursing him to hell uh yeah no i never saw Ready Player One. Is it worth your time? I thought it was great. Weirdly enough, I saw it and I read it. I really enjoyed the book, but that's because I really enjoy virtual reality. It's just big pop culture.

It's a big pop culture reference. But it's like, it's reading it. It's fun. It's like candy. It's like, did you ever read like the Da Vinci Code where you're like, how did I read that in two days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that kind of a like, whoa.

The Da Vinci Code was one that all my knucklehead friends even read. That was one that made it to everybody. Conversely, I'm reading a Russian book, like a translated Master and Margarita. All right, Ian. And that is, don't just say, it is taking me a while. It is thick. It is not a chair. Russian literature, they're dense.

I've been reading it for like three weeks and I'm like 130 pages into it. And I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with that? You haven't met Margarita yet. Maybe. Who knows? I did just finish watching The Americans, so I'm kind of in the same boat. I get you. You get it.

Yeah. I get you. You get it. Yeah, it's dense. The Iron Giant. Yeah. He wants to be peaceful right he's created yeah he wants to be superman he's not a gun yeah superman goodbye it's a great it's a it's a great movie sean you should watch it i will yeah yeah i watch it with max it's crazy that some of the stuff that i have seen and some of the stuff i haven't seen which like why would i watch tombstone again yeah when you know what i mean i don't watch iron giant i

bet it's 90 minutes brad bird director of the incredibles you'll really like it maybe i'll watch it on the plane tomorrow huh get cry is it gonna make me cry yeah yes i can't guarantee that it's on delta i don't know who you're flying with. Delta's been really up to date on movies lately. Some dude named Steve. Download it just to be sure. He's got a DVD player. Oh yeah, download it. That's a good call. Download it and report back. I want to hear

what you think. Okay. David Borey, time for your first pick. Oh, I'm taking the Terminator. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've never seen the Terminator. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. T-800. Yeah, yeah. I've never seen the Terminator. Is there just one?

Is it Arnold Schwarzenegger? Watch the Terminator. If I'm going to watch Iron Giant, you've got to watch the Terminator. I'm taking Arnold Schwarzenegger. There's also a T-1000 and I think a T-2000 or whatever in the later ones. Yeah. I'm taking T- I'm taking Austerlund Beast maybe.

I don't think T t1000 would be a robot down into he's a robot 1000 is a robot no who's the who's robert patrick he's a robot he's liquid yeah but it's just like a thing a robot does he's a robot that's the whole thing yeah uh anyway yes aren't which you taking the good terminator bad terminator i'm taking i'm taking uh t2 t2 the good one yeah comes up in the lava oslo vista baby yeah i'm taking that one i'm taking saving john and sarah connor i'm taking somehow finds becomes sentient finds a heart i i it's the best it's the first robot i remember seeing that movie like in the drive-in theaters with my, oh yeah. It was like, I remember seeing it in the drive-in where it was like, do you remember the drive-in

used to be, they go super early and it'd be a kid's movie and you could watch the kid's movie that you were supposed to like fall asleep. And then the second one was the adults movie It was like that kind of a situation I remember the subway cross promotion For like T2 It was like so big It was the first time I ever saw that

Where they were like T2 was huge Restaurants are getting involved in this shit They had toys It was like It was major You know the Guns N' Roses song That you could be mine

That was like Just as big as the movie Well not just as big as the movie But it was like it was major you know the guns and roses song that you could be mine that was like just as big as the movie well not just big as movie but it was like a huge song uh that was the only pair of jordans i ever had in my whole life i went to see terminator 2 with my grandpa and then he bought me a pair of jordans that's pretty good that's pretty good afternoon scared the bejesus out of me you've never seen either terminator movie dana no man now there's like seven or there's like six now or something you gotta see i mean i'd argue you gotta see both of them yeah you gotta see the first two fantastic i think you watch the iron giant we'll watch a terminator well i enjoyed it and i think you'll

like the terminator movies the crazy switch i feel like we're wrecking it but just that the change in him from terminator one to terminator two was one of those where i was not ready for because you know going into terminator 2 you don't know exactly what's happening yet so yeah that was cool and i love sarah connor as a character yeah she's great yeah she rips just doing a prison workout yeah and she's just like her whole thing is like she's not even the main character of the story. Her whole thing is just like I had to become a badass because my son's going to save the world. Also, everything they were trying to warn us about

is now happening. Skynet is... Let's not go into that. Let's not go into that. Positive robot. Arnold Schwarzenegger, T-800, that's my first pick. It's time for me to make back-to-back picks, as it is a Serpentine podcast.

And my first one, I got to take him off the board. I mean, R2-D2 is a little bit funny, a little sassy, but I'm taking fucking Bender from Futurama. Damn, yep, yep, yep. Absolutely. Sassy. That's first-round talent. Funny, hilarious robot, has a little heart and you

know the way the futurama had like a ton of heart bender inviting you to bite his shiny metal ass he's got a catchphrase he's he's we love you bender shut up baby i know it he's fucking he's he's he's so funny. I love that. Who did the voice? John DiMaggio? Yeah. John DiMaggio. Yeah. Voice over legend.

If, if there's anyone listening to this who hasn't watched Futurama, go ahead and treat yourself to Futurama. I mean. There's so much of it too. It's vast. There's so much of it. South Park. And you know, like I would put, I, I mean, I like King of the Hill,

not as much as you guys, but I would put Futurama on the same level. Futurama didn't get enough credit as far as I, like, it didn't, I don't know why. It didn't, it feels like it didn't get the shine that it does deserve. It deserves. It's so funny. I love Futurama. It's fantastic. Yeah, top tier.

Yeah, and Bender is just so fucking funny in it and i wanted it i wanted a wisecracking robot bender has so many fun adventures like when he has that whole universe inside of him and he's drifting through space yeah yeah like just yeah just a lot of yeah bender's a great pick man it's fun because he'll get hammered sometimes you know oh yeah he just does stuff we do r2d2 is not out there getting hammered you know? Oh, yeah. He just does stuff we do. R2D2's not out there getting hammered, you know? No, but he is out there peeing oil. Yeah, that's true. That's pretty funny. I bet you Bender's peed it. Get a couple drinks

in him, he'll pee oil anywhere you got. Back alley of a spaceship, he'll get it done. Damn, my list is getting shorter. There's not as many robots as you think. No, there really isn't. Bender was on mine. You gotta think outside the box is what I got. I've thought outside of the box.

We'll get to the end, and that's where I... Time for my second pick. I'm taking Optimus Prime. God damn it. Yeah. That was... I was just... I was about to take him just now.

He turns into a fucking semi-truck. He's a robot. He turns into a semi-truck. It's amazing. As a a kid how cool that was because like when you're a kid at least like some young boys and i'm sure some young girls but like a lot of the young boys i knew you like big vehicles you like like construction equipment big trucks stuff like that it's just so cool to you. You love robots. This dude was both of those things. And it was like, it sounded like a toy that kids made up.

Yeah. Right. Completely. Like a robot that turns into a truck. And you're like, all right. All right. Yeah, sure. I guess your dad let you see a Playboy, too.

You've had too many gushers. You need to calm down. You're gushing out. You're gushing out. You're gushing out. All of my Transformers fit in like a bucket. And then Optimus Prime was huge. I didn't have him. I didn't have an Optimus Prime, but my buddy CJ did.

And you're just like, oh, my God, that's such a big, gnarly robot. Well, that trailer. It was the trailer. Like, if you got the trailer with it, yeah. And that transformed into like, what? What did that turn into? Like, his gun? No, the trailer like if you got the trailer with it yeah and that transformed into like what what did that turn it like his gun no the trailer wasn't i don't know if the maybe or his like body it kind of turned it flips no the trailer wasn't part of his body no it was something it like it turned into maybe it just opened or it was like a platform it turned into something i swear it did and the noise it would make when he would transform. I know that's all transformers,

but they're... If you were sitting inside the car when he transformed, would you be crushed to death? They never had people until the movie. You're probably okay. I don't think they were... People were never in the cartoon and shit. You could ride in the Transformers.

You could get in them and turn it on? They didn't. They would turn themselves on, but you could ride in the cabin. You could ride in the Transformers. You could get in them and turn it on? They didn't. They would turn themselves on, but you could ride in the cabin. You could ride in the cabin. Yeah. Okay, okay. It would be uncouth to transform with somebody in there, because I think they would get squished.

They never showed it in the cartoon itself, but Optimus Prime did have to do long-haul trucking to sort of get by. He ran. He had a handle. He would go to restaurants. He did Sacramento to Seattle. I'd love to fight the Decepticons, but I got to get these oranges to Saratoga.

I'm working three 12s this week. Megatron's actually giving me yellow jackets these days, so we got a shaky truce going on. Taking trucker speed. A lot of the other Transformers who were like jets and race cars, they were like live lives't want to who are like jets and and and like you know race cars they were like live lives of luxury but optimus prime did he put in shifts he had a lot of kids a lot of wheels optimus prime had you know i'm talking and a lot of

methamphetamine running through his blood too just to stay up on some of those cab you tell me he didn't slide a couple a couple pounds in the cabin sometimes driving the sierra nevadas in fucking november and you you want to do that just like you and god no no i need a little help no god doesn't go with me on those trips no dude no yeah it's lonely being a trucker i make her stay at home i mean you know just doing what i can with what i got you know i haven't done this in a while but this is really fun this is really i really enjoy everybody's company and i'm excited that we do this i don't know just i've been having a weird uh mental mental last few days so this is

tight this is great like mental bruv like mental bruv like like madness bruv it's like the perfect game we had a sex party yeah it's been mental bro some mental a perfect game would be gnarlier than a sex party to me when a British person works out really hard at the gym that's mental health bro it's weird for me to imagine uh british people in shorts is that weird it's weird to picture them at the gym watch the rugby game you'll you'll get over that real quick i always think about australians when i think about rugby the brits are hell into rugby, no? They play rugger. They invented it, yeah. Yeah, they do it.

Yeah, but then I don't... You don't picture an athletic people when you think of the Brits. No, no, no, no, no, no. Even if there are professional British soccer players, they still don't look that athletic. Yeah, except for Beckham. He seems like... Yeah.

I think they all look insanely athletic we think they all concentrated their athleticness in so but if you got like i mean listen i'm saying this as an american and like obviously your average american doesn't look that athletic but your average englishman right baby you work you work for a lot of english people i do and i'm saying that i hope they hear this. The average British person does not look, it's not like the peak of athletic. You're like, how do you guys?

I think it's because they're dressed so nice. They're also not. Also, your average Brit is not dressed that nice. No, the soccer players are a little rizzy with it. So, I mean, I understand that's probably why they. There you go. Now you guys are going in. I don't, I just wasn't,

I'm not doing this to slander the brits and i'm putting all the uk on blast right now i hear dana not jumping in on this because she still has to go there for work and whatnot but i'm putting the entire island whenever david asked marissa to cut something out all he does is talk shit about the brits that's right all he does calling them redcoats it's it's wild Also the toboggans. Trinidad is fine. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For the toboggans. You don't notice. Yeah. You don't either.

It's on site. It's on site. Lucky Trinidad exists. You're lucky you got those sleds. Nobody would have even heard of you. That would be amazing if like a tropical island nation was just their main thing was making sleds for the rest of the world. They saw a hole in the market

and they filled it. Yeah, with a big toboggan. Oh, man. Man, I hate toboggans. David, time for your second pick. My second pick, I got to take Data from Star Trek. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, love him. Love him. Almost lost him to the Borg in First Contact. Got him back. Keeps a cool head. Almost lost him to the Borg in First Contact. Got him back. Keeps a cool head. What's not to like? I know he's a robot,

but I was always worried about his complexion. Oh, because it was pale green? It was kind of like a pale milky sort of like... It's powdery. It's not good looking, no. Yeah. It looks bad. He looks ill.

Yeah, it's something in your diet. You need to get some blood work done, something like that, but he's a robot, so that's why he looks like that but wonder why not just make him make it like real flesh colored why not like if you were i mean i understand the creative decision to do that to make him look kind of like you know sort of like uncanny valley-ish but like you know was that the point i think so but if you're making robots you like different than like you know you'd like tan you know yeah really yeah if you're gonna make he might as well be hot yeah make him look like a surfer yeah he should look like kj oppa i feel like you just learned the name kj Apa. Yeah. Because you've said it a few times recently.

I was going to say it a couple of times later, like everybody else who was going to say a surfer. I've never heard of KJ Apa. He's not even a surfer. He's an actor, but I've been saying it a lot. I was going to say Laird Hamilton. Yeah, he should look like Laird Hamilton. Data should have looked like Laird Hamilton

where he has that insane eight pack. Now we're saying Laird Hamilton too much. Laird Hamilton. pack now we're saying laird hamilton too much laird hamilton what's the guy's name brett brett spiner i couldn't tell you that for a million dollars brett spiner what if data looked like the mountain just why not like way way gnarlier than everybody else on board way gnarlier oh i like the way data looks yeah i did too he looked like a he looked like a little dweeb i liked his weird mannerisms i wasn't i was a data head yeah he just he just looks like a republican senatorial aid yeah yeah

that is like the basic look yeah and then remember when the borg lady gave him skin for a second it was like too much wait He felt too much. That sounds like sex. Star Trek First Contact. It's my favorite Star Trek movie. The Borg was giving him skin? That sounds like he was getting. You don't know about the Borg?

No. What's the Borg? The Borg Queen. It's too late. The Borg is like. I don't know anything about Star Trek. I know nothing. This is not worth it.

We'll just watch First Contact next time we're together. You should get really into Star Trek, dude. I'm going to watch the Iron Giant first. I think you'll really like the Iron Giant. Then I'll watch all of Star Trek. I can't promise about... TNG is fun to watch. He might like it.

I don't think I'd like Star Trek. Why's that? Because I don't like what I've seen. You like a bunch of other dumb shit. David. Sorry. Sorry. I'm on the rack, dude.

I'm angry. I'm angry. was mean to him and star trek yeah you did call star trek dumb shit no i said you watch a bunch of other dumb shit because star trek is cool shit to me that implies that star trek's also dumb shit because the way you said it where you're like bunch of other dumb shit so why not this dumb shit oh that's fair that's right i can see how you can glean that does your sweatshirt say nido frito sean no it says oh no it's a patio time patio jime says patio time sweetheart patio fine indoor seating or is the patio fine that's what it looks like your sweatshirt says she's a patio dime yeah data that's my pick speaking of dimes dana schwartz time for your second pick there he

is there he goes very smooth uh i'm gonna Pris from Blade Runner, who is the blonde girl with the cool eye makeup. If you've seen Blade Runner. Oh. Pris. She's cool. I like her whole vibe. I like her haircut. I like that she just sort of is, she like does that clearly with makeup.

That's a choice, the black stuff around her eye. Played by Daryl Hannah in the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. And she does flips. She's kind of a gymnast, which I think is cool. I just like her whole vibe.

I mean, I think the go-to pick would be the main replicant who has that great speech about tears in the rain. But I just like her sort of like gymnast vibe and eye makeup mostly. Yeah. I feel like we try to do this whenever this comes up. Blade runner is one of the movies that I guarantee that I've lied about seeing a lot. I think I was going to say how I had,

I had done that with the iron giant for a long time. Yeah. I've never, I've seen snippets of Blade Runner, so I think I've said, I guarantee I've said a lot in a confident way that, oh, totally, I've seen Blade, but I never have, never seen it. I've tried to sit down and get all the way through it

so many times, I can't. It's, I want to have seen it. I don't know why. I don't want to watch it, but I want to have seen it. It's a vibe. It's a lot of like eerie, atmospheric sort of music. And you get a lot of good downtown LA

architecture and shots. Oh, that's fun. Put your phone in the other room because it's also one of those movies I think that if you get out of it for a second, it's hard to jump back in because you're like, wait, what's happening now? You gotta stay in the pace of it. You gotta accept it. I swear, the only time I do that is at theaters now i it's such a such an annoying

thing i've been trying to make it more of a conscious effort even at home just put your phone across the room or something like not that watching tv is super active but it's like all right if i'm watching tv i'm watching tv yeah like it used to be enough just to sit and have something to watch and now it's like no i gotta play tetris well this is i need three screens going yeah yeah crazy and then i feel like a drug addict where i'm just like you know makes me feel nuts well in this one if you watch blade runner you get to stare at harrison ford's handsome face you get to watch daryl hannah be a cool futuristic robot with cool eye makeup uh and it's just a fun time it's uh downtown la very rainy and you know blade runner 2049 also a good movie the new one yeah it's really long again also but it's like ryan gosling there's nothing to be mad at

if i watch blade runner then i'm to watch the new one in 30 years. That's going to be how I have to do it. That's how you should do it. That's how they built them to do. I like it. Yeah. Prieth. Prieth.

Prieth. That's her name. Prieth. Yeah. Prieth. Apparently, I was reading into it, Pris was a human who convinced herself she was a robot and then got filled with so many replicants.

I don't understand Blade Runner lore, but I think she counts as a robot. Wait, I didn't know that she's a human. In the movie, they don't make that clear. She's one of the replicants. But apparently she was born a human and then wanted to be a replicant so bad that she started acting like one?

Oh, no. She's the Rachel Dolezal of replicants? Hilarious. That's right. All right. Pris was a human likely born in a Martian colony. At some point, she suffered a psychotic break and desired to be a replicant

to the point that she convinced herself she was indeed one and developed the physical attributes of one. Is that part of the lore? Because on bladerunner.fandom, it says Pris was a basic pleasure model next to six replicant. I'm on bladerunner.fandom right now.

You guys were having this conversation all week. A house divided. You want to stay in those separate rooms for a while. She was a support. Oh, this is in the books. The Jeter books. The Jeter continuity. Derek Jeter wrote a bunch of books about Blade Runner.

Okay, so that was in the books. I don't know if that counts. No, no, it doesn't care. She's definitely, this is definitely like a pick. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. Someone was getting a little too creative with those pick. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Someone was getting a little too creative with those books. Yeah. Yeah. Priyath. Yeah. Anyone who, who hasn't seen Blade Runner,

just look up her look. It's just a very cool look. She's the coolest looking robot of the, of the group. That should be your book tour. Look like a big helmet, a blonde hair and like dramatic eye makeup. All right. You commit i think you just gotta commit it's all about like if you do it nobody's gonna think it's weird because you did it yeah oh whoa yeah she looks like uh

she looks like she's in motley crew that's right sean jordan it looks like it's time for your next two picks oh nugs bruv uh second pick inspector gadget oh yeah good pick yeah ian we were debating when we announced this the difference between i'm gonna i'm not gonna challenge it but what's the difference between a robot and a we need to talk about it what did you say i said i brought up robocop and you said no yeah you said he's a cyborg wait is he a cyborg he's a person who got in an accident and then they gave him a cyborg oh yeah no this says he's a cyborg he's a i've seen an inspector gadget he's a human inspector who dies and then they are like who is in an accident and then they fix him with with doodads they put yeah they put the gadgets inside of him yeah he's a dim-witted cyborg police inspector i'm

sorry are you looking well because i swear to god i looked last night for this because i i saw i swear i saw a robot but i let me look at the cartoon though he is organic like he has a man he's a man that they gave little whirly gigs to. Yeah. So we're just going to have to get these conversations out of here. So if it's a person that they gave whirly gigs to, so if they started as a person at all, not a robot, but if they maybe started as a robot and they were given person features, that can count.

Yeah. Like RoboCop's not a robot. Right. RoboCop started as a reason they call them robocop so let me do this then ava from ex machina she started as a robot she's a robot she's just a robot with sentience but they gave her person stuff yeah that's fine yeah same with the replicants from blade runner so that was going to be my okay so ava then that was going to be my third pick so all right from ex machina. We will get, I was really wondering about Inspector Gadget.

I was going to let it fly. I apologize. I swear I thought I read Robot, but he didn't start as a pile of bolts. I also would have let it fly. Ian was the one being the stickler here. No, I can't. Well, you gotta be a stickler. It's like, what if somebody has like a fake hip?

Are they a robot? So like the six million dollar man you can't no no they're not that's i have i have a fake what do i have i have a plate and screws in my ankle i'm not a robot you're not a robot no just a normal rizzy dude i'm gonna slide it somewhere i'm gonna see some kids i'll tell you that that word the word riz is going out on top it's really having a day my memory of inspector gadget is that most of his gadgets like came out of his hat a lot of them a lot of them so it's like could anyone wear that hat ava is good because in ex machina she's so good at not being a robot that she even makes him donald gleason think he's a

robot you remember that scene where he like cuts into his own arm just to be sure because he's like i don't i don't know if she really is a robot it's crazy that movie rules anyways oscar isaac i've never seen i gotta watch it i love that dance scene yeah it is dude it is so donald gleason is amazing and oscar isaac is amazing and i do not know ava's real name but she is alicia vikander yes vikander they're all just killer and it's pretty much just them and movies like that rule like when they're good they're so good if just three people or two people or whatever can drive the ship and still have it be a dope movie it's just fantastic and it's such a trick you know because there's that part where he's, well, whatever.

You're going to watch it. But anyway, I love it. And she's a dope robot. And then you feel bad for her, which you don't really feel bad for robots a lot. Well, at the end, you don't feel bad for her. No, you don't. She's gnarly. She nails it.

She's a great robot. Or do you? I don't know. Or do you? Am I crazy? Yeah. Who knows? Who knows what's going on in this fucked up head of mine?

yeah who knows who knows what's going on in this fucked up head of mine uh so ava from x machina ava and your third pick i feel like i can get these later or probably i don't even know if you would pick them but i just i like them a lot um there's two of them i'm only gonna pick one obviously but there's the robots in Interstellar. I'm going to pick the one that's called TARS. Oh, yeah. That was like, yeah, the one he ended up sacrificing himself. Uh-huh. Because there's two of them.

I didn't really know that. For McConaughey to make that crazy. Yeah. But the one they're just like, you know. It's crazy when you get to hear a robot just say it like that because it's hard to wrap your mind around it because they're serious. It's a robot. So he's like, I don't really care.

I was made to sacrifice myself. But it feels like a person is saying that because they're speaking to you in a language. So you're like, well, you can't. How can you be this cold about it? And they're like, I don't care, really. I honestly don't care. I'm not alive. And I don't know.

I just like the robot the whole time, keeping him company. And they're fun. Like his whole body body is arms which is kind of cool and then he can turn into like an asterisk and just like whip across the water it's uh yeah it's just a fun fun robot you ever seen interstellar car i haven't seen interstellar yeah it's so long it's it's like i saw it on a plane i watched it in imax with some yeah it was it was tight but the uh it's one of those movies where you're like okay okay time travel they made me believe that if somebody flew a ship out they could find a wormhole and then there'd be time travel so i don't know it did the best job so far to me of time travel and they have a couple really fun

little robots in there one of them named tars who's a treat and that's my third pick that is a sweet little robot it's a sweet little robot he's funny oh they can program the humor up and down which is fun they can program yeah because he's like what's it at 100 he's like what's the humor at 100 let's go ahead and take it down to an 80 yeah it's like a real real situation and tars is making jokes and they're like no no no i don't know about i don't know about this right now like you can program how much wise they crack yeah yep yeah yeah we should do that with some of our friends you know yeah down a little bit tone it down a little bit you know who i'm talking about who are you talking about say their name who are you talking about say it derrick cheater I didn't want to bring him up again. Yeah, dude. He's a joker.

More like Derek Joker. Yeah, TARS. Fun, endearing, cute little robot. TARS from Interstellar. Dana Schwartz, time for your third pick. My third pick is a Roomba with a knife. Damn it! Not the knife, but the Roomba.

I had it on there. No, you got to have the knife. You just tape it. It's not even like attached in any form or way. I didn't have any real robots. It's just taped to the top. It's cleaning, but it also has a knife. I don't think it needs any more explanation. You gotta stay on your toes.

No, damn it. God damn it. A Roomba with a knife. What if the Roomba just attacks our couch though? And then all of a sudden we have a new couch. It's under the couch. It's not gonna... Also, you're presuming that we're putting this Roomba just attacks our couch, though. And then all of a sudden we have a new couch. It's under the couch. It's not going to. Also, you're presuming that we're putting this Roomba in our house.

We're maybe putting it in our enemies' houses. Yeah, I like that. Oh, guys, may I suggest putting huge googly eyes on your Roomba? Oh, my God. It makes it so much more fun. I could just watch that thing go around the house for hours. Please put big googly eyes on your room that's really cute yeah that's so cute i wonder how our cats would react to a room but i think not well yeah i don't think most kitties are stoked about it it's so all over the place

there's no yeah and it doesn't stop i don't know well then our cats better start fucking mopping up the house do you want a Roomba? They might try to ride it. I like watching those videos where cats are riding Roombas. What? This is a whole new genre for me. I would love a Roomba with a knife and with our cat Eddie on top of it. Yeah.

Oh, like a Mad Max Roomba? Yeah. Whoa. She'd be too powerful. We can't let that happen. Yeah. You'd have to like peek around all the corners. What?

No. And then she did on the roomboat and it's still, it's not moving, but it's on. She's got my wallet in her mouth. What am I going to do? She's got a knife. Dana's holding that little bit of wham. And you're like, can I have the wham? And she goes, no, that's my wham.

There's the wallet. Damn it. I can get all the wham I want. For my cameo that's a great way to describe cameo some wham there she is the very cat who we're gonna put on top of a room she doesn't even know a roombo with a knife yeah yeah is it a long big long knife or like a steak knife duct tape like a normal knife like a knife a serrated knife from your kitchen taped on scotch tape do roombas work yeah it's a robot yeah i've heard that i think they work well i've been thinking about getting one because i have wood floors

saw one at adam's house back in the day uh that's the only room i've ever seen in my life in action and it was moving it was working i think it probably depends if you don't have like um like a lot of nooks and crannies or like stairs yeah stairs are not a rumor friend they don't like i have very open floors so i think i could get away with the room but yeah i could see that expensive than you think oh how much is a Roomba? I remember I looked one up and I was like, I don't think I want to pay that. $50,000.

I'm going to say a Roomba is $150. No, it's more than that. Really? Yeah. Dana, what's your guess? I'm going to say, I would have said $150, but now I'll go $210. I'm going to say $315. David, are you looking it up? I looking it up you guys are low oh wow they're so expensive yeah that's like an x that they're like 700 yeah the top

the top two the top tier one is like a grand what's the cheapest roomba you got on there 250 i'm seeing 313 is what i'm showing you that is not like a good one like these good ones are like you know 700 you get a shitty room but you're gonna have a shitty room but so what's the point you know that's that's what i mean when i saw it i was like i think it's a little i don't wanna it's i just didn't feel like paying that much all right the new york times like wire cutter is recommending their room of picks are like 300 bucks. 300, 350. Say Wirecutter real quick. Wirecutter.

Okay. I heard something. I heard like Wirecutter. She's from Chicago. There could have been a hint of Chicago. I hear it every now and then. I heard a little something. I've never heard an accent out of you before.

I heard a little something right there. Comes out a little. Say Italian beef for me. Say Scottie Pippen. Somebody's got to. No. Say Scottie Pippen. No, I'm not going to be bullied.

You're not going to be bullied. Damn, get him. Can we pour one out for Scottie Pippen one time? It's going weird for him. It's going weird for Scottie Pippen. What's happening scotty pippen one time it's going weird for him it's going weird oh no what's happening with scotty pippen he's uh you just said scotty his ex-wife's all over the place it's oh gosh that's right she was with uh somebody who's his what his kids teammate or something what am i what's going on it's like a lot of that kind of it's a bummer one of those situations where you're like this had i would only believe this in a movie like

a fictional movie i'd be like that's a crazy plot for a movie and then it happened to him in life anyways yeah he also has his own tea with smith tea though really it's called digits is it called scott pippin oh No, it should have been. That's right there. That's right there. That's insane. How did it not call Scott T. Pippen? I don't know.

That's fucked up. David, time for your third pick. My third pick is a real robot as well. It was like, and you remember when this, it's the Boston Dynamics robot, Atlas. But like, you remember when you saw it, the first clip of it was like and you remember when this it's the boss dynamics robot atlas but like you remember when you saw it the first clip of it on like youtube and everybody's like that's it it's over is that the robot one or is that the dude one the it's like looks like a dude with the dog i mean the dog or the dude no this isn't this is the dude yeah i know what you're talking about the

dog this is the dude it can jump over stuff yeah it can spin around it's like very scary the jumps are scary they're always like we're gonna use it for rescue efforts and like what it's gonna rescue us from the other robots you're designing i don't want that thing pulling me out of a car and breaking my femur you know it's just awful it looks so gnarly it's insane to me we're like still on the point where we can stop it and it's like what but we just don't we that's our problem it's gonna be tough having to fight robots because i'm not stronger than a robot i'm stronger than a lot of things i'm emotionally stronger than a robot you don't you think that i'm gonna make you haven't seen x machina yet

she's pretty emotionally strong i'm gonna make the robots fall in love with me and then i'm gonna break their hearts and that's how i'm gonna win you're gonna be you're gonna make you haven't seen ex machina yet she's pretty emotionally strong I'm gonna make the robots fall in love with me and then I'm gonna break their hearts and that's how I'm gonna win you're gonna make the robots start saying Rizzy yeah Riz

Sean you're already blowing it like a dad oh it says patio time on my shirt it says patio time on my shirt right here should have never

told you anything uh yeah you should strip the E off and give it to a guy named tim patio tim patio tim dude patio tim's coming over just out there ripping all the butts off his marbros yeah i just did a noble blood episode about a guy whose nickname was tardy dick man that's about as good as a nickname gets tardy dick he was he was like uh you know this was the 1700s and his name was richard and like i guess he was just like late and kind of a bad student tardy dick love it tardy dick what about party dick does party dick ever come out that's a that's a different person yeah i like that that's a whole different

episode that's richard nixon in college dude party dick i think that's never richard nixon party dick got after it they're like oh party digs who wants to play edward forty hands party dick is in the house oh sorry dick tardy was his nickname still good still good still good still good yeah dick party that's different dick party Still good. Still good. Still good. Still good. Yeah. Dick party? That's different. Dick party doesn't exist. Dick parties. Yeah.

Dick party too? I think that was a Bang Bros website. Time for my third pick. With my third pick, I'm taking the dance, the robot. Yeah. See, there we go. There we go. Outside the box. What a good dance.

That's a good pick. That's a good dance that's a good pick have you ever seen michael jackson do it when he was a kid yes fucking amazing impressive he did it in front of all the rest of the the jackson four and he just like floated by him doing the real robot and they're just kind of doing the arm thing it's so devastating the robot has something to offer for every level of dancer if you're terrible it's kind of funny and cute and self-aware and if you're like an amazing dancer it looks fucking insane yeah it's always cool and with people being better now at dancing like you know everyone just gets better at what they do so it's like the dancers now compared to the dancers who invented the robot they're, they look like robots.

I'm sure dancers are better now. Like, I mean, like they're on Instagram and everything. But I wonder how much. It's like the Olympics. Have you ever seen those side by side of like the gold medal gymnastics routine of like, you know, the 1980s and then the gold medal today?

They're doing like 10 times more flips. Oh yeah. Or like from the 60s where somebody did a, like a somersault. Yeah. It's like, but I mean, I still like a basic robot. Yeah.

I like, I like, uh, what with the head and then the, uh, I love it. Give me a little, give me a little,

like a little, little grease on the elbow there. And then it goes, Oh, Oh yeah. See, I always thought the robot was an 80s thing but it was before that when would when did the robot start i don't i don't know i mean i would think the 70s

whenever i mean when was robot mania like the 50s what about mania what was isaac asimov doing his thing dana i don't don't i'm gonna say something wrong what's robot mania who's isaac asimov he's a science fiction writer he wrote in he lived from 1920 to 1990 so that's a big window 1960 like the 60s made up yeah when like people but when like people started to get like oh robots you know like I think the 60s yeah

I'm seeing Michael Jackson do it on Soul Train in like the 70s yeah and it's amazing god it is too is it the one where he goes

right in front of the whole family and just does it for real it's a compilation of him just doing it in front of his family it is all him being great in front of his brothers though yeah

Tito's like come on man I'm just trying to play the fucking bass bro i'm just standing here mike the robot dude speaking of like amazing live performer i saw bruno mars in vegas i took sue carmel how was it how was it fucking electric i'm not a i'm not a bruno mars fan i famously banned his music from our way i was gonna going to ask. Yeah. And I, I hold to that decision, but having them seen, seen him live and perform those shows live, he might be the most talented person on the planet.

He's one of those guys. He's one of those guys. I can see that. He played a bunch of different instruments. His voice is insane. Live. Those songs are so catchy and like good they're good that like i think what i don't like about bruno mars is how like polished and produced everything sounds

because it's it's like ultra pop like it's so ultra pop and then you get them like with a live band and everything and you're like oh holy shit these are like good songs i like all the slow i like the lovey-dovey songs like the i should have bought you flowers i like those ones or like i wish it would rain yeah oh i like the grenade song yeah i would dump it grenade for you all amazing do you think that he is his songs are better or worse than prince princes are i don't know like some of those ones are i think prince is probably a better prince is better yeah musician yeah you know what i was watching the other day was prince at the rock and roll hall of fame thing oh my god like like they didn't even know he was gonna be

there for george harrison or whatever yeah yeah he just shows up and just shreds all nasty and then throws the guitar and walks away doesn't he fall down on the audience and they like lift him up and put him back on the stage he falls down on his knees because he's shredding so hard and it's like it's like major guitarists in the room right it's like the biggest guitar yeah yeah and he's like Prince's and he was little I sorry. This isn't about Prince. But man, that guy really gets it. Prince was a robot.

Just so we're clear. Yeah. He was a sexual robot. He was a sexy robot. He was a little guy, too. There's a great power in being a little guy. I think so. I think if you can harness the power correctly, I think a lot of guys let it go out the top.

But if you can, like, contain it. Yeah. Trap it in that little body Prince, Bruno Mars power line from a goofy movie was he short? he was like a little guy oh I always got the feeling he was tall but maybe that's because I was a boy I never thought about that

with my fourth pick, I think I'm going to take the Mars rover. Taking a real robot. That's true. Up there on Mars. It can be controlled from afar. Not that that makes something not a robot, but it's out there largely doing its own thing,

taking pictures of Mars far away. Yeah, like a big Ro mars like a big roomba for mars i got to go see they built so they built like a couple of them and one of them i got to go to the nasa jet propulsion library lab not library the nasa which is in which is in pasadena and And they gave us a tour of it because we were like scouting it for a late, late show thing. And they have one of them there. It's big as fuck. I was just going to ask, is it bigger than you think it is? It's gigantic.

Is it person-sized? How big is it? I'm imagining it like knee height. No, it's like car size. Whoa. Yeah. See, yeah, I would never have have thought that i think i kind of would i didn't i didn't think it was like actually tiny because it's seems like they would it would i

don't know it's got to have some substance some weight to it in my head it was like i thought it was like the size of a remote control car they have little ones i guess there was that like there was a little one but like the ones that's up there now doing its thing is big. Well, yeah, they had to get Matt Damon up there. Yeah. So, yeah, there's not room for him on a tiny one. So he could film The Martian. Yeah, that's right.

A lot of people know that The Martian, he was on Mars when they filmed The Martian. He was up there. America's favorite comedy film. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Didn't it win a Golden Globe for comedy? Yeah. There's funny moments.

I never saw it. I didn't know a golden globe for cop yeah there's funny moments i never saw it i didn't know that that's crazy but yeah the mars rover a good a good robot exactly what we should be doing with robots yeah stop stop giving them fucking quads and stop it backpacks what are they gonna put in those guns it's yeah stop giving them they don't need eyebrows just hitting them with hockey sticks they're gonna remember that yeah stop giving them they don't need eyebrows just quit hitting them with hockey sticks they're gonna remember that yeah yeah and then they're coming back you it's yeah i mean there's memory foam your bed can remember what your body's like i think a robot can remember if you hit it with a hockey stick you know what i mean i think that that is flawless logic thank you god why you're a genius i appreciate it and i haven't even seen the iron

giant or read dana's book wait till those things happen i'm gonna turn into one of those replicas dana's books i can't believe i haven't read your fucking book what an asshole i can't believe it's time for david's fourth pick i can i'm taking rosie from the jetsons yeah fucking gold just a classic innovative r2d2 just a sassy she was always giving mr j what's what giving him what for yeah yeah she's really saying the things that nobody else would say to him yeah which has to happen you need someone in your life who will just say the stuff that people are scared to say to you she'll she let him know but also a true friend also instilled with a sense of duty absolutely she did her job too she did her job absolutely she did it like poop did you mean duty like stop it when you said it stop it or did you mean duty

like you stop it stuff you gotta do i need you to stop it well duty means i need you to stop it it's like if a kid goes duty in the litter box you think it's cute it's not cute in the litter box they're not laughing at you they're laughing not laughing with you they're laughing at you no they're laughing at my riz drip god damn it that was a mistake the riz thing was a mistake you're doing this in front of my wife and my daughter all right who's been here the whole time. Yeah. There's not much to say about her. She's fun.

She's got a robot boyfriend. Yeah, she has a robot social life. Yeah, she has a robot social life. She's handling her business. She's on wheels, which makes me trust her more than the ones with legs. For sure. Put robots on wheels. I don't even care if that makes them fast let me know they're a robot i need to know it stop you have to be able to escape them by going downstairs yes and let them know that they're a

robot that's the other thing you give them legs they think it too let them know that they're a robot yep it's we all agree we all agree it's just like it's what it's like i just feel like in 30 years people are going to be like how did you not see what was happening and we're going to be like we did like we did we just didn't really know who to tell it's gonna be too late by then though dude it's gonna's going to be too late. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like

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And if you do, you get 15% off with code allfantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code allFANTASY. Dana, time for your fourth pick in this dystopian landscape. This one is, I don't know if you've seen on the internet,

there is, this is a real robot. It was built for the Guggenheim Museum. It's an art piece and it's a robot that was designed to leak like fluid that looks like blood. And it's programmed just to keep pushing the blood back into itself until it runs out. It's called Can't Help Myself. I just really relate to this robot, an art piece robot. That's a really, really good piece of art.

You just would go and watch it. You just would go and watch it. And as the robot arm, it was sort of like a squeegee, would just desperately try to scoop this blood back into its system as it kept escaping. It's a very relatable robot. That's what I think robots are good for, lifting heavy things and representing existential crises. Yeah, it's a whole different kind of heavy that that robot's lifting.

Oh my God, this is brutal. This is stressing me out. But it's not real but it is right like yeah oh it's so much bigger than i thought it was when you were explaining it's giant oh no it's terrifying so this came out i guess like several years ago and it has not left my head since uh probably because it's so you know emotionally devastating and it also is like it shows like humans you know it's not real and yet you is like, it shows like humans, you know, it's not real.

And yet you feel for this. You're like, Oh my God, try harder. Little guy. Why isn't anyone helping him? This is like scoop all its own blood back. Damn it.

This is fucking me up. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. I knew about it. So now I had to tell you the power to this baby. Oh no. I'm going to dream about this.

I'm trying so hard. Well, you're doing great though. I mean, right you know to me the blood keeps losing out yeah you're on a machine losing blood all the time yeah i hear for what it's worth i i'm yeah i think you're killing it so thank you very much this is just i think like a good real life robot because it makes people think no it is yeah fuck man it's called i can't help myself yeah i gotta i gotta close this i gotta close this window yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean that's how inspector gadget ended up so if you want i mean he he got caught in a crossfire one time. Sean Jordan, time for your fourth and your final picks. So my fourth pick, I'm going to go to the video game world,

and I'm going to Mortal Kombat 2, and I'm picking my second go-to. It's going to be Cyrax. You guys remember Cyrax? Oh, yeah, yeah. He had, like, the robot dreads. The yellow robot looked like Predator. Him and Sektor, they both looked like Predator.

This one was the yellow one that shot a net out of his tummy. He was my... If I wasn't doing it with Liu Kang in a fair way, if nobody was going to let me... If you weren't going to box with me, then I had to be Cyrax, and I had to get cheap with it. And if I was at the arcade and somebody wasn't going to play fair, then I would be Cyrax, and I would just

annihilate him. Absolutely annihilate him. annihilate him he was my riz character my other luke kang was my gentleman gentleman character oh david didn't even grimace on that one though i snuck it right in apparently he's a cyborg but he looks like so much a robot i don't think he was a robot he's human any of them i didn't i had no idea i thought i didn't even look i just but one can argue because he's in video games he's constructed only out of machinery. We're not machines

Sektor. I choose to serve the Lin-Q, but I will not surrender my free will. Well, I'm not going to pick him if he's a cyborg. I didn't know that. I had no idea. According to the Wikipedia That's fine. For thehero.fandom.com cyrax is a lynn

q warrior is was forcibly converted into a cyborg from the mortal kombat fighting game series let me do this let me do this we'll get cyrax out of there i apologize for blowing it twice you're not blowing it no i would have thought he was a robot i like this discourse i see i'm not oh i used trepidatious the other day laura's mom even stopped and she goes good word and i was like i know that diane that's why i did it i'm gonna pick uh dot matrix from space balls oh yeah okay i forgot about i sometimes i forget about space balls uh because i haven't seen it in a while but i love i watched space balls so much when i was a kid because it was just like i think we might have

had the vhs or something but i just watched it all the time and i had no idea that there were any like jewish undertones because i didn't know any of that she doesn't look jewish right i had no idea what jewish i had no idea what jewish was i had no idea about any of that. She doesn't look Druish. Right. I had no idea what Druish was. I had no idea about any of that stuff, which is pretty gnarly when I look back. That's really funny because it's pretty big, the theme of the movie.

It rhymes. I mean, it's... Mel Brooks is Yoda. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't... Yogurt. Yogurt, excuse me. He's yogurt.

I just didn't... The power is called the schwartz yeah i know our shorts got tangled together i had zero idea what that any i just thought i was like oh look at these funny words they're kind of rhyming with star wars like i not like schwartz is a funny word that sounded bad you know what used to scare me about that movie as a kid pizza the hot used to scare the shit out of me i hated it so much yeah it was scary pizza is gonna go out for you and then he takes a bite out of pizza's face and you're like well these guys are lunatics yeah i wouldn't want to owe them any money it was really funny

yeah i'm a mog half man half dog i'm my own best friend such a good movie but dot matrix you know which is like looking up her dress you you're like, you're a robot. It's hilarious. She was a fun pal in the movie. And for the fifth pick, I hope I don't blow it again. I think this will work. Can I pick

the entirety of formed Voltron? I think so. Yeah, it's a robot. The whole thing? I know people, well, people man the individual cats that make up voltron no

i think robots can have human control well the robots that form voltron together i'm i don't think a human controlled voltron i think when the road when all the cats controls the whole thing well there were five yeah so when they when they all came together i thought it was like because then there was the sword too like voltron pulled out their own sword they're a robot they describe it as a super robot so i think it's a robot yeah but like individually the cat cars or whatever they were those are controlled by people even though i think they can also control themselves but then they all come together and it's like if i remember right there was like a lightning strike or something and then voltron was all of a sudden this robot that could fight big other robots it's like if i remember right there was like a lightning strike or something and then voltron was all of a sudden this robot that could fight big other robots it's a cool big robot yeah it's

a cool little robot okay and the big sword i just i had voltron i had all five i was super excited that was one of the damn you were cool things i had when i was a kid yeah i had a lot of cool i'm not but i just i remember i had all the voltron i was like holy shit this is tight like not a lot of people had all of it. If you remember, Voltron was pretty big when you had all of it. It was like the size of a wrestling buddy. Oh, that's a pretty good size. It wasn't like a normal tiny little toy. Yeah, so it was letting the bullies know.

I just said Voltron in the front. I feel like this house has Voltron at it. So you go ahead and get my house. Take it back, Voltron. Stand back. Dana, how hard would I have to actually care about it to where you would let us have wrestling buddies on the bed? What?

Do you have wrestling buddies on? No. I've had these conversations before. What are wrestling buddies? They are these not even that soft kind of pillows. They're as big as two throw pillows put together probably in the shape of a wrestler are they one and a half throw pillows look at google it you get like of the ultimate warrior or like hulk hogan picture hulk hogan but like an american

girl doll oh oh i hate this yeah i hate their little face would i have to actually like really where i'm like, I'm serious. I can't sleep unless I have these on the bed. I mean, look, I'm married to you. If you said that, I would let you. What if it was just I really thought they were aesthetically good? No. It was the bummer because I'd be like, are you a moron?

Yeah. I would keep them. We could keep them in the garage. In the garage. Dana lets me keep my buddies out here. One of my favorite things about being married is doing... I asked Laura, I was like, how much money would I have to spend on a pair of shoes where you'd be for real mad about it? And then I think the answer was pretty low.

I think it was like 200 bucks or something. I was like, okay, all right. So we're not talking about shoes anymore. Yeah. It's fun to pose those questions. It's one of my favorite things about being married. Like how many skateboards can I put on the wall? I love you, Ian.

And so if you're like, this is really important to me, I need this to sleep. I would be like, okay, yeah. But if you're just like, no, I think this looks cool. Then we can have a discussion. If you said, I need this to sleep, would you then counter with, okay, does it have to look like the Ultimate Warrior?

Or can it just be like a white pillow? No, it has to be the Ultimate Warrior one. It soothes me. I wake up, I want to see tassels right by my eyes. You can kind of fold them and do moves on them, though. I mean, that was the whole thing. We used to tie sheets, do the whole thing. I had bunk beds, and so we'd tie sheets and make it like a little wrestling ring, and it was tight.

Oh, that's cool. What if Ian wanted to do that? That's cool. Then I'd be into it. If he was tying sheets and making a little wrestling ring. I'm going to come down there and visit, and when you're gone, Ian and I are going to make that bed into a wrestling ring, and we're just going to have wrestling buddy wars. When I'm gone. And then you better hope I come back.

There's going to be wrestling buddies in our house. When you come back from this book tour, how much is a wrestling buddy? Whatever the price I pay double. You've paid. You got to save a lot of more than I would think is appropriate for a salacious B crumb just to make me upset. The salacious B crumb character from star Wars,

the weird little, uh, space story. His, his little beak weirds me out. I don't like his job of the hut. Yeah. I don't like him at all.

Thank you, David. Oh, I got that story. It's priceless. I bought a falling apart doll version of him. Ooh. Ooh.

I hate him. Let me keep it in the house. I didn't throw it away. I hate him so much. I get it. I get it completely. I'm looking at these wrestling buddies, man. They have new ones.

There's a John Cena one right here. But man, if I was John Cena, I'd be so fucking mad that they made it look... Look up John Cena wrestling buddy. They all look like that, though. There's not like a handsome one yeah it's not like you yeah I don't know man oh no it looks really ugly the John Cena one's pretty bad dude it from what I'm the one that I'm seeing can we get buddies can we get buddied yeah how do we do that if they do them like Funko Pops oh my god the rock one is cool the rock one at least kind of looks like the rock the john cena one looks like jk simmons

god if we did afe wrestling buddies holy crap um dana time for your final pick okay i'm embarrassed that this is still on the board and so i i, I had like a lot of really obscure robot, you know, I brought in like a Guggenheim robot. Uh, yeah, we know. Number five is Wally.

Oh, great. You can't leave Wally on the board. I've never seen Wally. Really? I just, I can't speak on Wally enough to have picked Wally. Otherwise I would have,

but I saw it once and I, I can't remember anything about it really. Look, it's magical. He's all cute all cute little robot my little brother had a huge wally phase yeah it's uh well he's also bleak it is bleak but he's so he's a sweet little guy yeah but like as far as for the huge future of humanity wally is a little bleak yeah yeah it's one of those where you're like this is a heavy ass animated kids movie. And unfortunately, we might be rolling towards that pretty quick.

Zoning out in our pleasure chairs. We're rolling towards one of these robot futures. Either Terminator or WALL-E. Some of these robot futures are fun. But you know why I like WALL-E? He's a cute little guy. He likes musical theater. He always watches the Hello Dolly movie,

which I'm always trying to do. Fair, fair, fair, fair. And that's mostly why. You're a little Wally. I'm a little Wally. Perfect. I'm a little sweetheart. I like that.

David, time for your final pick. I'm going to take Mega Man. Oh, shit. Wait, Mega Man or Megan Man? Mega Man. Mega Man. final pick i'm going to take mega man oh shit wait mega man or megan man mega man mega man the the video game i would say mega man's like an ava uh type character like because he was he was born a robot he was made by that guy in the video like he made a robot and then had like a human face or whatever yeah he just had a human face he has a blaster arm yeah he's a robot for sure those video games were always fun on like super nintendo nintendo and

then like marvel versus capcom and shit he was always a fun character just a true blue solid robot they call him rock man in japan did you guys know that i did know that weirdly we're talking about the rock now so mega man and then in japan the rock is called uh duane the mega dude johnson the mega dude hey what's up bro i'm the mega dude megaman keep the more dudes he defeats the more powers he gains right oh does he get there does he does he absorb him doesn't he i've only played one megaman game but uh like enemies kind of drop chips that like megaman downloads and he like uses their powers yeah yeah i'm into that kind of megaman i've only played one of those games and he was really

really hard i couldn't even beat it yeah i think he's like battle toads level where it's like why do you make it so hard? Battletoads was fucking... Battletoads and Altered Beast. Altered Beast and Contra too, if you didn't put the code in, it was impossible. Hard games. Altered Beast was a really weird game. I beat Contra. I got Contra.

Without cheating in three guys, you got Contra? Yeah. Cheese and rice. That Shinobi, I never... Shinobi I beat once, but it wasn't in the arcade. Like these games in the arcade, it's a whole nother thing but anyway i'd be contra at home did you ever beat it was so gnarly when you could beat a game at the plate like i used to be able to beat street fighter i never i never beat a video game i beat the simpsons no we beat carnival one

time i thought you just got a crazy email. I totally forgot about that. We beat Carnival one time. You remember the Carnival with the shotgun? Yep. No. We beat that at the arcade one time. It's fun. Like now as an adult too, if you're like, I'm going to go, whenever I go back home,

we try to beat Shinobi, but we go with like 10 bucks and quarters. We're like, we're going to play until we get too mad to play. I mean, that was the best part about Bridgetown. uh bridgetown oh yeah ground control when it was all free yeah do you remember the aerosmith game where you shot discs at people yes i don't know i just like to bring that up yeah people have existed super weird dana did you know about this i i don't know most of what you're talking about it's an aerosmith arcade game where you shoot CDs at people. It's insane. It's real.

It's so funny. It's real. It's ridiculous. Joe Perry's in it. Final. Joe Perry's in a video game. What was your pick, David? Mega Man.

Yeah, Mega Man. Time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft. Okay. Okay. uh time for my final pick the final pick of the draft okay okay i'm going to take teddy ruxpin not the character but real life teddy ruxpin oh which was a tape player that would blink its eyes and talk the story interesting like it's animatronic animatronic at home yeah incredibly basic robot but one that meant a whole lot to me as a little kid i love teddy ruxpin scared me i never got to have one man you had one oh oh i had a teddy ruxpin another one that scared me it's scary it's i mean it's scarier now teddy ruxpin was doing the robot yeah yeah yeah ruxpin it's just a fun name it's fun it was always fun to

say you don't get fur you don't get furby sorry to say pics but this was the draft is over without a teddy ruxpin yeah right i wasn't into furby either i wait what's furby furbies were like little owls kind of you don't remember furbies i hated them i kind of do now the big blinking eyes yeah they have their own language, right? Or whatever. Yeah. Like they talk like that. Yeah, I never got it.

Little drunk meat wads. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, Teddy Ruxpin. Oh, yeah. It's Furby. Okay. And his whole crew of hot air ballooning adventurers.

I loved it. Is that what they were in too? Dirigible. I think they were in a hot air balloon. Yeah, it's a dirigible. Or they had a blimp or something. They were in a dirigible? They were in a Rizzy dirigible. I was right, by the way. I didn't want to take a victory lap, but since you're bringing it up, it is

the difference between a blimp and a dirigible is the structure. Ian, I always know, so these questions I ask, I make myself sound stupid just to make sure that you stay sharp. I appreciate that. I always know the answer to the questions I ask. We've myself sound stupid just to make sure that you stay sharp. I appreciate that. I always know the answer to the questions I ask.

We've got an ecosystem here, of course. Yeah. I know what's going on. And a Zeppelin is just a brand name made by the Zeppelin Company of Germany. Sure. I knew that. Tissue or Kleenex. I knew that.

You know, Band-Aid. All of this is true. That's my final pick. Marissa, do you have a robot pick? Yeah. I'm picking Nintendo's Rob, which stood for Robotic Operating Buddy. Do you guys know Rob?

Oh, I do remember him. Yeah. So Rob was a toy robot that came out in 1985 for the NES system. And he was basically designed, to my understanding, he was kind of designed for kids who didn't have anyone to play with. So you'd hand a NES controller to Rob and he would just play along with you with a game

like a co-op game with you whoa it looks like johnny five he's so cute kind of looks like wally uh and then later he became a playable character in smash um and yeah he's so cute i love him wow excellent pick i didn't even know about this guy yeah nintendo rob was a whole different dude to me so yeah you nintendo rob he used to smoke cigarettes when he was 11 he'll buy any video Yeah, Nintendo Rob was a whole different dude to me. Yeah, you Nintendo Rob. He used to smoke cigarettes when he was 11. He'll buy any video game system cash. To recap the draft, Sean, you went first. You took R2-D2, Ava from AX Machina,

TARS from Interstellar, Dot Matrix, and Voltron. Dana, you went second. You took the Iron Giant, Prius, a Roomba with a knife, the I Can't Help Myself art robot from the Guggenheim, and WALL-E. David, you went third. You took the Terminator, Data, the Boston Dynamics dude robot,

Rosie from the Jetsons, and Mega Man. I went last. I took Bender, Optimus Prime, the Dance Move, the robot, the Mars Rover, and Teddy Ruxpin. Not a ton left on the board no johnny five is the only one i can really think of bb8 bb8 yeah mecha godzilla hedonism bot c3 so funny if anyone's played the portal video games uh glados who's like the antagonist in

that game it's like really scary oh yeah the cake is a lie we left uh megan megan on the board that's great oh mithregan mithregan roy batty i had the the the robot that polly had sex with in rocky oh yeah rocky's robot happy birthday polly we left uh the the fembots from austin powers oh those are pretty good yeah so i found out those were from like those are also in a movie in the 60s or some shit. So it was like Doctor Something from the 60s. We left Cheezoid from the British sketch comedy show, Mitchell and Webb.

Oh, yeah. There's a robot in Red Dwarf, too. I forget his name. But if we're going British comedy. There was like a robot version of Yosagi Ujimbo, I think, from Ninja Turtles. Like a robot rabbit, wasn't there? Probably. Like a mechanic. Were the foot soldiers

robots? No. No, in the movie they were. Krang was a robot, kind of. I thought the dinosaurs were robots. On my list, I didn't know if I would get away with it, but the robot shark that played Jaws in the movie Jaws. Yeah, you would have got away with that.

For sure. The actor who portrayed Jaws. That's awesome. That was Daniel Day-Lewis. His first role. He was a butter boy. Treat me like a shark. This is a bite. This is a bite.

We want to hear your picks. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter. AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the afe patreon uh oh i gotta talk to you guys about this really quick after we record but march is gonna be it's it's gonna be a patreon revamp coming in march we introduced some new stuff in uh february the auction draft came out right oh that's no i think that i thought that was coming out in march oh shit We'll blank that part out.

Oh, I already told them about the auction draft. Yeah, we did on a previous. So we're unveiling new stuff, but there's going to be a whole new structure coming in March. We'll talk about it more later this month. But shout out to everyone on the Patreon for holding us down this whole time.

The AFE Shaslackity. The AFE Subreddit. Shout out to Saint. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Saint. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Super. Producer Marissa on the ones and twos. Happy belated. Oh, thank you. Happy belated birthday to Super Producer Mars.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the best. That's why we took the week off last week, by the way. Mars was like blackout drunk for seven straight days. Cam fisted. She jam fisted. Her body weight in Molson. Ew, ew. She bought a duffel bag of cocaine at the beginning of the week

And now it's just a duffel bag Alright That's how she gets down So we couldn't possibly record Sorry Shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats And more important than all of that, tune in again next week To another brand new episode of

All Fantasy Everything Shakrakity! That was a hate gun podcast.