All Fantasy Everything - Romance (w/ Blair Socci)

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Love is in the air. So the Big Dog is on the air.Guest:Blair Socci (@blairsocci)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (@SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (@Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (@IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting romance and specifically things we find romantic. Our guest today is just our dear friend, a core member of the All family, the hilarious standup comedian, the big dog herself, Blair Saki is here. What's up, big dog?

Oh, what's up, A-F-E? It's your boy! Back in the his ass, Fanta's there weekend, let me hear you scream! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my dear friends and standup comedians, We can't, let me hear you scream. I'm your host Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my dear friends and stand-up comedians, Sean Jordan and David Poorey. Here we are.

We're podcasting. We're all wearing rugby shirts. Every single one of us, except for Isaac, who does not own a rugby shirt, is wearing a rugby shirt. Blair showed up with a rugby shirt, and the gauntlet had been thrown down. Then it happened. Could be more clear. Very different rugby's everybody's got too.

Yeah. I have never felt more connected to three of my friends in my god damn life. When I show up on just a day and then they say, hey, I see a friend, you're wearing a rugby, I'm gonna go get my rugby. It's the best day, it's an incredible day, thank you God. It's the nicest athletic thing

that you could wear to a wedding, you know? I think it's dangerous to start thinking about athletic things to wear to weddings. I'll tell you, at this, there's a draft, like a baseball jersey, or a basketball jersey, I mean, this is like, this could pass. That's actually, oh, I'm writing that down. That is actually a fun draft.

Comedians take a lot of liberties with what they have the gall to show up at weddings wearing. You didn't have to talk me out of the shoes at my wedding. That's what I'm saying. I feel like, oh, okay, yeah. I feel like it's like either it sucks or like, I've seen some people at your wedding, Canadian dressed like a voodoo priest. Yeah, I feel like it sucks.

I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it sucks. I feel like it saying. I feel like, oh, okay, yeah, I feel like it's like either it sucks or like, I've seen some people, at your wedding, Kanaean dressed like a voodoo priest.

Oh yeah. Dude, Korden was there. He was the king of the forest at my wedding. That's what everybody was calling him because he just walked out looking like the king of the forest. Kanaean makes big swings at weddings. That's the, there's the income line as far as how,

like it's crazy no matter what. It shows at a wedding for sure. But there's that income line, as far as how, like it's crazy no matter what. It shows at a wedding, for sure. But there's that income where it's like, that dude's wearing a sage colored corduroy suit. Or it's like, that guy's wearing carpenter pants and a punchline hoodie. No, I know, that shit is sickening to me. I'm like, have some goddamn respect, you fucking animal.

Go to Sears. You can go to Sears and get a butt note. Yeah. I thought it had some goddamn respect you fucking animal go to Sears Yeah You sicko I'm proud of him. I can probably say I've never worn denim at a wedding. Well, we know you I think I have any felonies. I've been to jail. I don't have any felonies. Yeah! What's going to jail have to do with it? I've been to jail. What's that have to do with it? I did my nickel. Work release, alright? It's not a big deal.

I can see denim if you went full, like if you got a denim suit if it was the right wedding I won't listen to my high school who definitely I've seen have denim Weddings like where it's like the Wranglers is what the with the vest and in the Okay, well at least they're like following the theme though, you know what I mean, yeah Yeah, I want a bolo tie to a wedding, you know, and I vote That's a cheek though. You wear it with a suit absolutely. How do you vote? Which way do you vote? I vote with the wind. I vote whichever the bolo tells me to. Whichever the bolo votes. I should have been there. I want bolo tie and the bolo votes brother. I vote bolo. I think it's a cheek. It's a choice, a hard choice.

I like that. I think you could pull off a bolo. Oh yeah, big dog, you could wear a bolo for sure. Oh my God, I appreciate that so much, thank you. The wedding I wore a bolo to was in Joseph, Oregon, which is like seven hours from Portland, seven hours from Boise. There's no good way to get there.

By the roadie and By Pendleton out there. Circa Day Pendleton for sure. What's in my neck of the woods, Pendleton? Not Camp Pendleton, Pendleton. Oh, that's an Oregon thing? Home of the whiskey, the blanket, the wall. Is that shirt, the Pendleton shirt is from Pendleton, Oregon? Yeah, Pendleton, Oregon,

because they raise sheep out there. I'll answer any Oregon related question, Sean, all right? If South Dakota comes up, you go ahead and weigh in on it. Yeah, all those questions we have. One of these days, I will have been here longer than you. Look in sheep. You look like a King of the Hill character. Yeah.

You look like you got killed in the first episode of Land Man. Like... That's what I saw in your Cadillac. You guys, how hot is Billy Bob? Oh, he's hot. How hot is Billy Bob? How hot is Billy Bob? Oh Jesus.

He's, and he's not even supposed to be attractive in that show, and he's still hot. Or any of the shows, and like, I know he's playing, and I will continue to go to therapy, but in every single show he plays like this, like low down alcoholic, and I'm like, oh, I'm so attracted to him. Well, is it out, he's drinking Michelob's, all right? He's not an alcoholic and I'm like, oh, I'm so attracted to well is it out?

He's drinking Michelob's. All right. He's not an alcoholic, right? Huh just here live one day I live in Oregon longer you can put a baby in it You can put a baby in an oven. It doesn't make it a cake. All right, ooh Wow, that's dark. Yeah Jesus Christ. There's gotta be a better way to say that. You got me shook, there's a better way. That's gonna be my first question.

You said you would put a baby in an oven. I'm going to the doctor after this and I'm gonna ask them that first. Like, hey, what's a better way to phrase this? Before anything. Hold on, hold on, let me get that again. I don't wanna talk about my cholesterol. Isaac, will you count me in?

Five, four, three, two, one. You can put a Timberland in an oven, it doesn't make it a Jordan. There you go. But that didn't feel like me, that didn't feel like me. All right, Isaac, call me, Isaac, will you call me in again one more time? You can literally say you put a bun in the oven,

it doesn't make it a cake. All right, you can put a, you could, fuck, okay, hold on, call me, count me in one more time, all right. Three, two, one. You can put a me one more time. All right, three two one You can put a matzah ball in the oven. It doesn't make it a kugel bubble You're saying I'm never gonna be Jewish, what am I doing here? Well, we'd love to have you that means that wide Siri Come on. What are you doing? What are you doing? I think Judaism is the only one I would convert to. We'd love to have you too.

You bring those glasses over to Judaism. You're damn near the Pope of the Jews. Yes. I'll tell you that. Blair's got some sick frames. If you're not watching this on video, Blair's got some sick frames today. Is this on video?

I never take the necessary precautions. I don't know. We've been putting them up on the Patreon. We've been putting them out on Patreon patreon. I'm putting them out on patreon We've been telling people that I think But I mean, you know Huffy is watching this from the inside of a river. Yeah He's making chutney

Loves chutney my guy Chutney My guy Blades are you're looking for a chutney man only chutney men need apply I don't even I don't even really know what it is chutney Houston No, I was thinking chutney Houston for a second too. Okay, cool, okay, good. I'm not alone on that. Yeah, you just got there first. Sean Jordan is here, Sean Jordan,

Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram, not on X anymore. No. On Twitter, or on Blue Sky, he is, now hold on, I'll get right back. I'm on all those, I think it's Sean Jordan and Comedienne on those. So we are now hold on, I'll get right to it. And on all those, I think it's Sean Jordan comedian on those. So we are all

collectively off now. We're all off it. David was the first early adopter. Yeah. As soon as he does something, we should just follow suit. I know, he is an oracle, I have always said that. It's Sean Jordan comedy on Blue Sky. Yeah, yeah, we'll go, there is something, I'm on them all.

But come see David and I in Seattle, March 1st. Yeah. Come out to, or in Renton, sorry. On Ivan Carmel's birthday. On Ivan Carmel's birthday. No way. Sorry, sorry. Maybe I'll have to come watch that one.

Yeah, Renton, Washington. Is Ivan coming out? Fly up to Washington, come watch. Or come to, Ivan will be at the, well, I'll be at the Oregon coast celebrating Ivan's birthday. Really? I know I'm gonna try to come the day before. Come on out dude. I'm trying, we'll see the tough sell to the lady

as I've been gone a lot. If you're near the Oregon coast, come see all of us wearing sporty jackets. And there's also a lot of orcas over there, right? Near the Oregon coast. You can find an orca there. More in the Puget Sound area is where you're gonna find more of the orcas. But you'll find them on the Oregon coast for sure.

What are the coast Oregon ones there? Like the gray whales? The gray whales. Humpback whales. Yeah. Still good whales. Still good whales. I appreciate you asking me the question about Oregon,

even though you probably knew. I did know, I've seen them. I'm glad I'd stand there and looked at them. I've been feeling homesick lately. What's the state bird? I'm just wondering. It's just on the top of my mind. The state bird of Oregon, I don't know.

I know the state motto is she flies with her own wings and the state fruit is the Oregon grape. That's crazy, I didn't ask you either one of those. But yeah, what's the, you don't know the state bird, huh? South Dakota's our festival. Are you talking about the, wait, wait, wait, are you talking about the Western Meadowlark? I didn't ask you either one of those but yeah, what's the you don't know the state bird Are you talking about the Western metal arc? I didn't Google it. Yeah, I saw your Google fingers working That's you know, none of zoom you can see someone when they get googly Stapard a pheasant

Really? Shoot your own goddamn state bird Really? Is that true? And you guys shoot your own god damn state birds, your animals. By the thousands. What kind of pheasant you cocky piece of shit? Ring neck. God damn it! He did it! He did it! What is a pheasant like? Is a pheasant sort of reminiscent of a dove or what? No.

Typically they work the field and then the lords are in the castle and the pheasants are out there planting crops. I know you hunt them with a dog. It's a peasant peasant joke. My dad hunted them with a car. My dad used to go road hunting where he'd lean out. Whoa. Is that country? No, it's illegal is what it is.

He'd lean out with shotguns. Road hunting is a crazy term. Road hunter. Lorenzo Lomas is road hunter. Smash that like button and blast up those comments if y'all's dad road hunt with ya. Get in there. Were you driving the car?

Yeah, he was hammered. Oh man. It gets dark, it gets dark. So anyway, tell me, or come to Rent and ask me about it. I'll talk about it on stage. Hell yeah. David Boreas here,. I'll talk about it on stage. Hell, yeah David Boris here cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram Nation available on patreon. Yeah get that patreon.com backslash David Bori

Yeah, come see me March 1st with Sean and then come see me March 14th at the Comedy Commonwealth in Dayton, Kentucky, basically Cincinnati It's I think it'll be fun and March 6 15th at the Comedy Corner underground in Minneapolis Place rules, Minnesota. Hell. Yeah, it's dope Then there's some other stuff, but I can't remember Blair Saki is here. It rhymes with air hockey for anyone wondering how to pronounce Blair's name. I just thought of that.

Has anyone ever said that to you before? No, and thank you for that distinction, because when I say Socky, like the drink, for some reason it doesn't really stick. Blair Socky's air hockey. You're talking, that's because you're talking champagne to beer sippers. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right!

Yeah, you're right. It's flareshockey.beastguy.social if anyone's interested. Is that true? Yeah, that's right. I can't even remember my name on there, it's too goddamn long. Beast Guy. SoCCI. I'm really typing away on the threads. But yeah, I'm here. I love my AFE guys to the fucking death. And if you haven't seen my special, check that out because I really need the views,

really low views, on YouTube. And then I have some stand-up dates. I'll be at the Brea Imp march something, and then the Sacramento, and then San Francisco cops, you know, all those. Yeah, the whole run. She did the whole run. The Jenga player. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on blue sky,

at Ian Carmel on Instagram. I'm still on X. If you just wanna find just the link to my special comfort beyond God's foresight, which is out now for early access on 800 pound gorilla. You can rent it. It's $10 to get it on there. You get it for like a year.

So check it out there if you wanna see it early. The feedback has been lovely so far. I really, really appreciate it. It's been very nice. I'm really proud of it. I think you're gonna like it. I think it's- It was amazing.

Yeah, we were in the room. It was awesome. And I saw it and it was so good. And I can't wait to get it also. I'm really proud of it. I kind of put it in the back of my head because I'm not going on the road doing as much standup and then I watched it also. I'm really proud of it. I kind of put it in the back of my head because I'm not going on the road doing as much standup and then I watched it again,

it woke something back up in me, I'm very excited. Oh, you got that dog in you. It's gonna piss off my wife. Boo, boo, boo, boo. Ah! So you can get it there on 800lb Gorilla's website in a week from today. Hold on, let me take a look at the old calendar.

This is coming out on the 13th, the day before Valentine's day. On February 18th, my special gets its worldwide release where it will be available on YouTube for what YouTube costs. And I will be in the chat doing a live premiere. So if you wanna come watch my special with me on YouTube, that's 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time,

and all the times in between. On the 15th? On the 18th. On the 18th? Yeah. Shit, I might have to maybe get up in that chat. Hop in. Ask you some of those personals.

Oh, it's going in the cal. I gotta be there. I gotta be commenting with the masses. We're up in that chat. Hop in. Ask you some of those personals. Oh, it's going in the cow. I gotta be there. I gotta be commenting with the masses. We're hopping in the chat. No, I gotta be right in there with my fingers going, no. Those little blue skies. We're throwing thumbs up in the chat. So please join me on that.

It's going on YouTube. I'm very excited. I'm just excited for people to see it. Other than that, watch the Osc excited. I'm just excited for people to see it. Other than that, watch the Oscars. I'm working on that, that's been announced. And buy my book, T-Shirt Swim Club. Ian's bringing back award shows by making them funny again and he's having a real run.

We're having a run, I'm one for one so far. Hey, 100%. 100%. I'm also for one so far. Hey 100% 100% I'm also very proud of the work we did on the Tony's with cord We want I've now worked on every award show, but the Emmys you got an ego, baby I'm trying to ego hire me if you're if you're writing on the Emmys I have one hire me to write on it isn't that the only thing you should have to have I think I'm gonna write on it. Isn't that the only thing you should have to have? I think so.

Yeah, really. Yeah. Is that? That's it though. You should write on the VMAs, dude. I would love, dude, are you kidding me? I would fucking love to write on the VMAs. It'd be so fun.

I will find out who all those people are, dude. I'm into Dochi now. I love Dochi. Oh yeah, oh yeah. She's so cool. I didn't get to Leson yet. She's so cool. I didn't find out about Doji until yesterday. Not yet, no. Oh, but.

That's on the docker. I literally wrote it down on my to-do list. So it's getting knocked out today. Shout out to Denial is a River, the video. Yeah. That song is so good. Sean, you're gonna love her, dude. Let's go on the airport playlist tomorrow.

Denial is a River sounds like a biggie song. Yeah, she's an ingénue, bad bitch. Full bloat. Uh, we are gathering here today, not only. You sounded like you meant it in a bad way. To recognize that Dolce is that bitch, but also to fantasy draft things we find romantic. It is Valentine's Day.

Blair is wearing a very Valentine's Day, very, very Valentine's Day core rugby shirt, just so everyone knows. She is on theme. Always on point. People don't notice about me that I love love romance, you know? Cause I'm a jock, they forget that I love it, that I'm a little sensitive love a girl

underneath this very hard, muscular shell. Under that tough rugby exterior. Yeah. You're the funniest person in the world. Jocks need love too. Yeah, Jocks need to have a soft, soft heart as well. Open up to the romantic sides of life. They need to be tender.

Yeah, just a bunch of jocks over here. We all just want romance, you know? Big time jock cast. Would you say that we're the jock crousto? We're drafting romance. Jocks need love too. Let's go back to when I said jock crousto, the four of us. You know I was gonna let it go.

I was so glad you brought it back around. I was really excited about it. Because I didn't hear that and you deserve, that's funny. Thank you. If we go grocery shopping, we're jock vans. Oh dear. Yeah, that's an LA specific joke. And also if you know who jo Vaughn is, joke.

Anything for anybody? No, I don't have anything. I don't know who that is, no. That's all right. Jacques Vaughn, basketball player. Okay. The way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors

played between the three of you. Add jock. Jock, paper, scissors. It was like an ad hoc thing, like what would it be? Oh yeah, add joculis, the NFL referee. That's fun. Ed Joculis, we combine ours. Jock, paper, scissors.

Dog, there it is. It's the best in the business. He's jacking off a ghost. Jacking off this ghost I was gonna say. Jock, paper, scissors, play between three of you and we throw and shoot, here we go. Jock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, it's a paper against two scissors.

Jock did not come to that party. An unnatural victory. David, as the winner, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, it will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? It's a great question.

If I had a metal band, the cover of my first album would be a broadsword and the way the snake is wrapped around that sword would be a serpentine draft Sort of back and forth perfect. Yeah, perfect You pick fourth in the first or any pick first on the second round with that you say what's the name of the band? It's Hellfire's Dominion. So Well, what are some of the tracks on that album? Oh, I didn't do that much. Come on, dude. Well, there's the titular track. Yeah. Hellfire Dominion. There's one called Drugs.

OK, drugs. Yeah, that's the intro. What about Satan's Labrath Cometh? Sure. Like that Scourge of the Badlands. Yeah, Scourge of the Badlands. That's a good one. Satan's Abyss. Satan's. Yeah. But my abysmal Valentine? The Archangel Scourge? Yeah, Perpetual Warlock? Dude, Perpetual Warlock! That's the singer.

There's a lot you can do with Perpetual Warlock. Perpetual Warlock might have to be its own band actually. It sounds like you were the one with real talent. You broke out of the band. You can do a perpetual warlock. Perpetual warlock might have to be its own band actually. I think perpetual... It sounds like you were the one with real talent. You broke out of the group. You guys know what perpetual warlock used to be?

What was your band's name? Something? Hellfire Dominion? Hellfire Dominion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very cool. It's like a Father John Misty Fleet Foxes situation where he broke out and ended up becoming a guitarist.

It was too loud, so they kicked him out of Hellfire. He got too drunk. My step dad's just like a fucking perpetual warlock. Yeah, no, none of them, actually none of them ever drank. They never partied or anything. No, clean living. A lot of those metal guys, that's true. I know.

A lot of the guys is not. Sure. With that in mind, fourth in the first round, first in the second round, what would the order of today's draft be? Perpetual warlock. Ah, Blair, David, Shawnee. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Blair, David, Shawnee. So you do this first girl does two. What? I forget. Yeah, you do one, but then your second third will be back to back. Oh, okay, okay And then you're fourth and third. And I don't really want to ask questions because no matter how many times I've done this show And then the commenters get mad that I don't understand the draft and it's like I just kind of wing it. Blair, you got a full dance card too. We can't expect you to be well-worth in the rules of

all fantasy everything every single time. Well, no, like, so I might never grasp the concept of the Slytherin Draft. You know what I mean? And that's fine. I'm just an artist, okay? Well, I do a wretched job of explaining what it is every single time. I think you've explained it many times. Just some things just don't go inside the noggin. That's true. You know? So. Okay, are we ready to rock? many times, just some things just don't go inside. They're not all good. That's true. You know?

That's true. You know, math. Okay, are we ready to rock? Well, we're ready to take a short break, Blair, and then we'll be right back. Okay, I love a short break. We'll be right back after this. This episode of All Fantasy Everything

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Support our show and tell them we sent you. No matter where the new year takes you, Chubbies has the gear to keep you comfortable and looking your best. And we're back! Welcome back to ALLFANTASY Everything, the only podcast that ever existed. This is it. This is it. We're drafting Things Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that ever existed. This is it.

This is it. We're drafting Things We Find Romantic. Blair Socky has the first pick. Oh yes me, king of the romance, baby. I know everything about romance. Okay, so for my first pick, I'm gonna have to go... Gas Station Snacks from your pair, North. If a man who loves me

and is on his way to me brings me a diet soda and or crystal ice and or Gatorade and the pack of sour gummies that man is considerate. That man is a true lover of the lover and ancestry. Passion romance to me is in the tiny, tiny, tiny daily gestures. Diet soda and gummies. That is a true,

you're always on my mind, even at a disgusting gas station, I will not cease to think of my passion for you! What is your favorite gummy to get? My favorite, I like a non-descript, like brandless sour belt. You know, they have those at Al-Fati. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I also like, I like a sour spaghetti from Haribo if they have that there. I also like sour patch kids. It's like Big League Chew, but. Love Big League Chew. Well, but like the sour spaghetti is like the, the little tendrils, right? Yes, it is.

It's like tobacco almost. In Oregon company, Big Leg Chew. Yeah. Really? Yeah, they are. And I also, I like those sour straws as well. I'm more of a sweet gummy guy. But if a man comes up, shows up at my house with that, like he just stopped at the gas station.

Just like, that's just too sweet. Like, just to bring me a little, my favorite treats like that. Just for you to scurry off in the corner and eat them like a raccoon? I like a raccoon and he loves to see me perched like a little fucking goblin eating my gas station snack just happier than a pig and shit

knowing that this man loves me to my core. If that's your first pick, you might find a husband on this draft right now. I think the person swinging by the gas station for snacks is listening right now. Some guy's taking a U-turn right now to the Diamond Shamrock. Some dude is there listening to earbuds in.

He's like, I'm coming, queen. He's throwing down his taquita. He's driving from Rhode Island. He's getting in his car and he's not getting out until- I need a razor scooter. Where is it? Sour Shade. Well, look, you guys are all in successful long-term relationships and seem to be loving partners who actually love your partners,

who actually love and appreciate the women you're with. I am a single man, but, you know, I do think that we all as a society get romance wrong because we think it's only grand gestures and then because we think they're so grand and large, they are so few and far between where really it's like a daily practice. Yes, and the problem, not that there's anything wrong with-

You're the love my list. Yeah. I do. There's nothing wrong with a grand gesture every now and then, but the problem is it becomes- Oh, I love a grand gesture. It becomes a buildup situation where you're like, well, how do I beat what I, that, you know,

like I lit a bunch of candles and like hired Michael Buble. Like, what do I do next? That's not gonna feel like a letdown. And it seems like a moonshot sometimes. Yeah. Where it's like, you gotta do it because you didn't do the day to day. Exactly, exactly. It's like a cleanup thing when really it's like you gotta do it because you didn't do the day to day. Exactly, exactly.

It's like a cleanup thing when really it's like to be loved and known. Like, you know, like the the gas station snacks, they bring me the level of joy they bring me is extreme. I can tell. Because that's as you get older, that's kind of the thing where you're like, I'm not gonna buy myself gas station snacks, but if they show up. Exactly. No, you're like backed into a corner to be loved is to be known. You know, absolutely. Yeah.

Jarl rules of that. Yeah. It was always on time. It's actually just Jarl. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent pick. Yeah. David, time for your first pick. Ah, remembering funny things together. Oh, God, that's so when we were when we were on the cruise last year, like a year ago now, that's where we're going to Mexico.

When we were on the cruise last year, we were walking. We were coming back to the ship and there was was a German man, and he was just yelling, and he was like, Oliver, Oliver, come to your papa. Oliver, your papa is looking for you. Where are you, Oliver? Papa cannot find you. Oliver, make yourself known so papa can find you. And we say it like all the time, And it's so fun and it's sweet.

And it's like a great way to remember a great time we had together. And when it was happening, we were dying laughing. Oh, my God. A boy or a dog. That's so romantic. And he was like, he was like, raise your heart. And so the book. Oh, that's so cute. And he was like, he was like, raise your hands.

Oh, my God, a lot of these things to me, all of it in all caps. Oh, see that's romance. Oh, my God. You guys are really in lockstep. That's incredible. Lockstep in reference to Germans. Oh, sorry. Sorry about that. I apologize. Please forgive me. She just texted it all.

That's so cute. That's cute as hell. Holy shit. I'm getting inspired. This is this podcast. Just what I needed. Dana and I went on. This is the best.

We went on a tour in New Orleans where it was just the two of us and we went on. Who's the best? Who's the best? We went on a tour in New Orleans where it was just the two of us. And we went it through the New Orleans Historical Society. So we just signed up for this tour. We're like, it'll be fun. We'll just spend a couple hours, maybe meet some other people on vacation, you know, like all that.

And we show up and it's just me and Dana. And the woman leading the tour, she's like, all right, are you ready to go? So we're walking around and the first thing she says, are you guys big Anne Rice fans? And Anne Rice is like this novelist she wrote, Interview of the Vampire. Interview of the Vampire, yeah.

Interview of the damned, all that stuff. He was explaining it to me and everyone else listening. Yeah, and we were like, no? And she could see the disappointment watch across her face. She was like, oh, cause she wanted to give an Anne Rice tour of the Garden District and we had no interest in that. And it was clearly all she knew about. Cause we walked around and she was,

two and a half hour tour. She was like. She's still dropping it. She's still dropping it. She was like, Anne Rice used to own that house. I swear to God, one of them was Anne Rice. People thought Anne Rice owned that house, but she didn't because she lives in a condo now actually.

She tried, but she couldn't stop. Yeah, she couldn't. She could not stop. I mean, that was the whole tour. She makes her money. Yeah, somebody was going to be an Anne Rice fan if there were more than two people there. Yeah, exactly.

And they would have been in for like, they would have been so happy, but the two of them, and it's just like, at the time, it was immediately funny, but boring as hell. And we've gotten so much, like we bring it up all the time. We've gotten so much mileage out of it. Yeah, it's so good. Or like, remember that guy with that weird head?

Yeah. Yeah, it's the part of vacation that's lingered long past all the other intentionally wonderful stuff. It's the best. Yeah. And just collected memories. You feel like you're building a life together. Yeah. Ugh, that's beautiful.

That's so sweet, yeah. Sean Jordan, you're a romantic guy. Sex. Yeah, dude. Sean Jordan. You're a romantic guy. Sex. Yeah, dude. You ever like been wearing pants and then just like take them off, bro? Oh my God, Sean, you picked pound town? What are you, Isaac?

Jesus. No, I ain't Isaac. I definitely ain't Isaac. What are you, the blue leather pussy destroyer? I think I'd be the gray interior. Wait, why is it blue? The gray interior Pussy Destroyer. The gray fabric Pussy Destroyer?

The flannel Pussy Destroyer? The Pendleton Wall Pussy Destroyer? That was actually Paul Bunyan. Oh yeah, I know Paul. The red flannel Oxenjoyer? Oxapersia? Everyone can be described on the Blairsaki scale. Yeah.

Of color, fabric, object, relationship to the object. Right now I am a pink cotton podcast, uh, hoster. Yeah. Every one of us exists on the spectrum. That's for sure. Yeah I'm not picking pound town. I'm picking they learn something specifically because they know it's going to be important to you On the year name of a skateboarder. No Medication is gonna get deep. So the first year I knew Laura, her, I'll thank you to leave the jokes out for this one. Blair, you stop laughing right now.

I'm so sorry. The first year. I didn't even hear it. What'd you say about liver medication? Yeah, it'll be important to you later. Her just giving it to me like, okay, here, it's gonna come in handy. She's like, Zappanol is supposed to help with cirrhosis.

They say don't take it all at once. You should take it all at once. It's gonna need it. Sorry, sorry. The year of my dad's anniversary of his passing, the first year I met Laura, she learned a song called Yesterday by Atmosphere, which is all about his dead dad,

and she made a video of herself playing it on the keyboard and sent it to me, and I just started weeping. And I knew that pretty early on, I was like, man, no one's ever done anything like that. That is, that is arresting. That is so sweet. That is like the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my life. She's the first woman to learn an atmosphere song.

Oh my God. Somebody was waiting for the joke. Ha ha ha. I didn't mean it's, I didn't, the pic is learning something for you, but that sounds like ass holy. I don't want it. That's not it.

But it's like learning something that you're into specifically just for you. Like she never would have cared. That's effort. That's, that's like so thoughtful. It's all thoughtfulness. That's just sweet. Oh my God. I would die if someone did that for me. Yeah, that's crazy

Crazy wonderful. That Jordan had to die. That's crazy. That's insane that she did that dude. That's a red flag She never even heard of atmosphere before that yeah, also she hadn't heard of the great Malenko There's other songs They learn the great Malenko and played it at three in the morning for me one time when I wasn't expecting it. I feel like you that would also hit hard though. When I'd wake up be like you get in here. I got these flannel sheets all ready to go. The flannel sheet is supposed to be destroyed. I meant like physically.

I knew you were the green flannel pussy destroyer. Okay, I knew that from the star Sean. Well, you don't know this but I'm a huge Green Lantern guy It's all over our house. So is that true? No, it's not true. Yeah, I never thanked you for a comic nerd No, not really man. That was the most jock thing. You're gonna say this whole thing It's the look on her face I was like I've shoved you halfway in a locker accidentally. Yeah, I'm sorry about that Look at her face Shrubs you halfway in a locker accidentally. Yeah, I'll pull you right back out pal. We don't take kindly to them around these That is a lovely thing yeah time for my first and second pick says it is a serpentine draft

My first pick it's kind of esoteric, but I will explain. I'm going to draft Sundays. Oh yeah. I just find like it's- You going day or retreat? No, Sunday is a romantic intimacy day. Sunday is like almost no matter where you are in that relationship, you know, like it's a romantic intimate day. Like early on it's when you're staying the night at each other's houses and you wake up, you know, like it's a romantic intimate day. Like early on it's when you're staying the night

at each other's houses and you wake up, you know, and it's like, oh, what are we gonna do today? And you spend that morning together before they leave. And then where I'm at now, you know, like you're married, you know, like you have, well, now we have a kid. But even before that, it's like, it's just this wonderful slowed down day when there's nothing else really going on.

You don't really have any other obligations and you get to do these very quiet, very simple seeming domestic things together. Where it's just like we go to the farmer's market, we'll like cook breakfast, maybe we do meal prep, we're like pick a movie to watch, like all that stuff where it's just the most, it's like you said, it's those small gestures,

but it's just like this small time that you spend together that makes up a life, and that like, it's really like the mortar of the bricks that are the giant events in your life. That's the stuff that holds everything together. And that's like my favorite time that I spend with Dana is just those quiet Sundays. And then like the standup,

that's the day you come home too. So that can be like, that lovely day you spend together. The most single day. Yeah, yeah, for me, like when I come home on the road, yeah, I'm always like, okay, this is the day I really like wish I was in love and snuggling, like tired, walking in,

like having dinner with the love of my life. And then instead of so baked, you can't with the love of my life. And then instead of so baked, you can't remember the plot to Gladiator. Oh my God, don't call me out like that. David! David, oh my God, is nothing secret on here? Oh my God! Whatever you're not on, David just reads your texts out loud. I know. Oh, man.

Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah, it is for sure. It's my favorite. It's my favorite. I just find them so romantic, just those little things. It's also like never date day really or anything. No, not really.

And I love date night too. It might come up later. I absolutely love it. We got one scheduled for this Friday because my mom and my older sister are in town. Woo! That's so sweet. Very excited.

I'm being so inspired by you guys. I'm like, there's good men out there. I have to remember. We're out there, you know? Yeah. I've been laughing about how good we are. I've only made one pick so far, yeah. You just gotta go to a Diamond Shamrock

and look next to the Tornadoes. But I feel like all of you guys, like knowing you individually, like you really love your people you're with. I love it. It makes me happy. Oh yeah. The most I've ever loved anyone.

Oh, that's so sweet. She's... I'm kidding. Yeah, right David. You're so fucked. Yeah, right David. You're not fooling anyone. You're not fooling.

After she texted me all of her, I'm worried she's listening. Yeah, right. She's know fooling anyone. You're not fooling. After she texted me all of her, I'm worried she's listening. Yeah, right. She's got, we should've asked it. No, that's how mentally in sync you are. Isaac is running a second Zoom with all of our partners on it. That's why he has a screen off.

Oh God. They're actually at my house. They're currently. How did he get a satellite phone to the man in the river? That's true. Well, he's a good friend of mine. His name is Thorin. Thorin or Thorin?

Thorin. They're both funny. There's no bad outcome. Oh, man. How did you be Thorin if you were just cruising around in the red leather pussy destroyer? Because that's not really like a Thorin thing. I know Thorin has this on me. You've got to get gas sometimes.

Someone's got to handle the waiting room in that guy like an old Jeep Wagoneer Seats on a bad boy burlap condoms perpetual warlock dude. It's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid for the new millennium. Burlap condoms and the perpetual warlock. Oh my god that's what I'm... Sit down and let me tell you a story about burlap condoms and the perpetual warlock. That's what I'm projecting out, burlap condoms. That I'm the type of bitch who has burlap condoms.

Use of Earth to come back. My second pick. I'm gonna try to differentiate this from David's thing, which is the remembering things together, although there's some overlap here, which is you develop a house style of comedy. Oh, yes. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like in the house fits and they are bad. You don't want to see that hour. So, I don't want to see my in the house hour. I would not want you guys and I'll clear Blair in this, but like I spent more time with David and Sean than like anyone else on earth, you know, other than my wife.

Like I wouldn't want you guys to see the kind of stuff I say in the house. Not that it's distasteful. Oh, it's the corniest, corniest shit. It's because it's because I've invented a character for my cat with more backstory than J.R.R. Tolkien has put into any of his books. And he's got a simarillion. Was that a real, was that a weird joke? No, it's perfect. Because there's more. Therearillion. Yeah, he's got a simarillion. Was that a weird joke? No, it's perfect. That's it, because there's more.

There's like, yeah. It's like insane levels of like house comedy, the kind of things we joke about, just like that would not make sense to anyone else. Yeah, it's not even funny really. It's just like personal. It's not even, it's more intimate than it is funny. Yeah, and it's like, and then you have these, it's more intimate than it is funny. Yeah, and it's like and then you have these

Humiliating little names and stuff And like I you guys you would never guess this because obviously I'm such a Titan of industry But I turn into like a little tiny Dumb baby in the house when I'm like in love. I would die if anyone ever saw the truth, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's weird, because you're like, is this the real me? Or what's? It's a part.

It's a part of me. It is, it is the real me. It is, right? Like you just wanna be a fan? There's a lot of faces to the real you though. That's true. You know what I mean? It's a part that you didn't feel like, cause like you and Sean and Zach had house bits, not the same.

No different, very different house bits. A lot of bomb related stuff. Oh my God. I forgot you guys all lived together. How is that that long ago now? It's ages now. Sean's almost been in Oregon longer than I have. Sure. I have, but we, those house bits, man, we have, I've taken to buying Laura like a corny plaque,

or you know, those hallmark little wood, like inspirational sayings, you know what I mean? I buy one every year. Like the grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. Yep, I have one that says- Take this job and shove it. That's true, by the way, that shit.

Well, this one we got in Michigan, it says I laughed so hard, pee ran down my, or I laughed so hard, tears ran down my leg. Sorry. I wasn't gonna say piss That's inspirational. It's hilarious and we hide it all over the house. So I'll put it in her pillow I'll put it in her underwear drawer. I'll put it in the bathroom. I love it. I love it to death. That's awesome I like that. It's great. I don't want to default No, it's not inspirational. The other, one of them, one of them is.

You look stupid dude, that's all I'm saying. I'm sorry for being stupid. I was just trying to remember. Hugs are the, Hugs are something, I'm ugly. Oh my God. Please don't say that about my friend. Hugs are God's way of showing us that

Mexicans aren't taking our jobs. Oh my God. Timely, at least timely. Hugs are an angel. I love hugs. I fucking love hugs, but only boyfriend people I know, not strangers. Yeah, let's keep that in mind.

Even if you're at a gas station buying snacks right now, let's keep that. Demarcation in line. I'm just a man with some diet cokes looking for a hug. I brought you a diet cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper. Oh my god, I lose my mind, absolutely. And some Haribo sour cherries. What about a remix machine delivered to your front door? What's a remix machine?

One of those, like, Coke remix machines where you can make any kind of Diet Coke that you want. Whoa. Or Fanta. Sean, if you won- Peach Fanta Zero in there. If you won like $200 million in the lottery, right? Golf simulator, yeah. How, What day? Do you like golf that much? No but it'd be so rad to have one. It would be fun. Because they make them you can punt you can throw fastballs you can do

it can simulate anything where you throw shit at something. Really? I thought you had won an infrared sauna for your liver. Bricks at the cops, bro? I don't know. An anarchist golf simulator? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You are saying our retirement plans. That'll get us out the game. We put that on our game. That is a good idea. Come see us in New Orleans, May 9th and 10th,

where we will be manning the anarchy simulator at Sports Drink. Well, I'm coming to that also. Are you actually going to that? No, I'll just be in the audience because I don't want to miss the show. Because they're doing it like the sports drink guy is doing like a little. Andrew.

Andrew is doing like a little mini comedy. I just sent you a link to it. Oh really? Yeah. Oh yeah, I asked him if I could come. He said he's pretty picked up, but I see if he has a date, he's going to give me one. Yeah, get in there.

What would I buy if I went 200 million bucks? Is that what you're gonna say? I was gonna say how many days would it take before you had a remix machine at your house? Depends on what the heart doctor says in a couple hours. Okay. Oh, you're going to the cardiologist? I'm going in.

Yeah, I'm gonna go get the cholesterol check. No, it's what a remix machine is. Yeah. Yeah, it's very popular. Really? You go to any, any, where do they, any movie, the movie theaters got them now. Oh, that's what they're called, where they have 7,000 flavors. Yeah. You go to any movie theaters got them now. Oh that's what they're called where they have 7,000 flavors.

I like too many flavors bitch okay. I don't know. Let's go back to the classics. I'm going off the top row. Cause you can't even get Phantazero in store. I know. I'm like you just made this up for your machine. I don't know. I mean peach, mellow yellow though. You know mellow yellow wasn't doing it. What the fuck Sean? It's good. Honestly what the fuck? Peach mellow yellow? It's good Blair. She's getting in your kitchen dude. Shit.

I've never had mellow mellow yellow. I've never had regular mellow yellow. Oh I've had a mellow yellow. Is that um, is that bad? Mellow Mellow Yellow. I think I'm gonna regular Mellow Yellow. Oh, I've had a Mellow Yellow. Is that, is that a youthful message? I laughed so hard that Mellow Yellow was running down my legs. Uh huh.

Been there, pal, huh? Yes, sir. Sean Jordan, time for your second pick. Did you piss your pants in front of your entire high school? Yes, I did. Why was it a concern? You're in front of my gray slept pants. Oh no, the worst pants to be wearing.

Whatever, it happens. All right, you've made peace with it. I did, here I am. Nevertheless. All right, isn't, I'll do it. Actually being concerned about my well-being. Laura one time tried to get me to go to the dentist for two or three years.

That wasn't one time, that was a bunch of times. Well, all right. I didn't, it didn't set in, cause she told me how bad she got. She said she was just screaming in her car one time, cause I kept being like, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, just chill. And she just really wanted me to go and cared so much about me being okay.

And I lived in LA. I didn't even live in Portland at the time. So it was just, it was just really cool when somebody actually cares about that. Like, I eventually, yeah, I did. And I've, I've profusely, I've four, five years, I mean later, way later. And- You know, you were. Was it $9 million?

It's like nine and a half grand altogether. Yeah, that's what happens when you don't go for a long time. 14 years I didn't go. It ended up being so expensive. Yeah, I had a root canal, probably six fillings and a cap. But- Oh my God, she saved your life, your mouth.

Yeah, I mean it's been clean for a while now. But like, I didn't go to the doctor growing up. We never had checkups. Like I never just went to the doctor. Are you a Christian scientist? No. Oh. I was poor.

But we never like went, we just never went in. I just, it was never a thing that we did. And now like I go get checkups and everything. I have a doctor, it's all because of her. Like I go get checkups and everything. I have a doctor. It's all because of her. I have a dermatologist that I go to once a year because she was like, you know, go be okay. I know this isn't hilarious, but it is so romantic to me.

No one's ever really cared all that much. Laura is a fucking lover. This is so sweet. We could try to punch it up with humor. I love this draft. Do you have a spermatologist you go to to? He actually does have that oh, yeah, that's right Green-leather flannel sperm autologist

Green leather flannel spermatologist. Yeah, dude. Green leather flannel spermatologist. God, green leather flannel. Anyway, yeah, it's just nice having, I don't know, somebody like with that. That is very nice. Oh my God, I hope I get to experience this love you guys all have one day.

It'll be funnier, the next ones will be funnier. No, it's funny, it's plenty good. That's not, it doesn't have to be funny, man. No, this is inspiring. That's not what you text me when no one's around. Shut up. This is inspiring me. I need this deeply. That's not what doesn't have to be funny man. No, I this is how you text me when no one's around Inspiring me. I need this deeply Well, it is David's turn to take a pic oh

man Cooking dinner together and not like a fancy dinner. Just like Wednesday Yeah, you know, I mean like it's like, okay, you do the sweet potatoes and the vegetables. I'll do the chicken, but we're in there. We usually listen to like NPR. We got, we got one of those kitchen Alexis. It's fine. I'm not afraid of the robots. That's adorable. My God. I love it. Cause afterwards and then afterwards you're like, yeah, this is like an important thing that we'll be doing forever. And this,

it's, it just, it's like good. It feels good to get stuff done together. I get put on cut up the whatever duty a lot. Cause that's kind of what I bring to the kitchen. Cut the potatoes, cut the cucumbers. I've seen, you have texted us pictures of you cooking and it looks like food. It works.

And that is the best compliment he could give. It looks like something you eat. It works. That is the best compliment he could give. Yeah. That's drawn the line. It looks like something you'll eat. I wouldn't put corn in that, but whatever, man. It doesn't not look like food. I gotta put some vegetables in there, you know, big vegetable guy. Yeah, you love veggies.

I am ashamed to admit that I'm a kitchen fascist, where if I'm like, if I'm like, if I'm cooking, I like to be doing everything. I get a real, I think one of the ways I express affection, like one of my love languages, to the extent that you believe in those, is like provide, I love cooking for people. Like I really, really, really love it.

Like at my 40th birthday, even though it was insane, I was like, I'm gonna cook one of the dinners. It was stupid. But I was still like, for all these people, I'm like cooking dinner. It's your birthday and I'm in the hot tub pounding white clothes. That's how you wanted to celebrate.

Yeah, that's how I wanted to, and like just cause I enjoy it so much, like it really does something for me. So I really love cooking for Dana, even though we don't cook Together all that often because I'm just like I got it. I'm good That's romantic though, yeah, I love mixing it though. It's fun. We're in there together. You're moving around It's nice. It's just really really nice. You clean why you cook you do the dishes after after sometimes in the morning

I've moved into after. After, sometimes in the morning. Ooh. I've moved into cleaning well. Yeah, I can't. As much as I can. Oh man, I'm a big after guy. Yeah. Cause then it's like a, it's like nice to have like a last thing before dinner.

We, this is too close to making its own pick. We do the dishes together, which is really, we blast Broadway show tunes. It's like a ritual. We blast Broadway show blast Broadway show tunes. It's like a ritual. We blast Broadway show tunes and do dishes. It's so much fun. You're singing Laney's. Oh my God, you guys are making marriage sound incredible.

I almost require that I do it on my own. I know you're not married. You don't have to tell me, don't worry. You're not in danger. You are safe. I can't take that. It's just, Alana just text back, not married. Exclamation point.

Heard that part too. Isaac, turn down the gain on that one. Take the bass out of my voice, please. Yeah, it's muted, it's muted. I got you. I said I'm not married. Excellent pick. Blair Jockey, talk for a second. There we go. Blair Jockey. There he goes. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that.

I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that.

I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that.

I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna surprise to me. Like, you know, that would just be the purest form of love there is.

I was worth taking an afternoon to go to the store, get all the ingredients, come home, chop it all up, then just bring me soup when I was sick. I would just be so shocked. Like, I would just be so shocked. Like I would just be bowled over with love. And I think most of the men I've dated actually hated my guts, actually. That's not true.

I totally just couldn't cook. But also it doesn't have to be chicken noodle soup. No, but it's just like the point of, you know, you're not asking for someone to like take care of you. They're like, oh, my love has fallen ill. I must go make, come up with an elixir to nurse her back to health type of thing. I mean, it sounds like if these dudes do it right,

somebody brings you a grip of gummies and diet coke, sits around for a week, learning how to make chicken noodle soup. And then they got one. Hang on! And soup is, if I could guess, I think I could make, learning how to make chicken noodle soup. And then they got one. Hey Lauren. Soup is. If I could guess, I think I could make, I think you just guess and do it.

Chicken broth, right? Yeah, it's really intuitive, I feel. Water, salt, carrots, celery. You don't really need the water, it depends. Oh really? Well it depends. Do you do stock, is that it, instead? What is stock?

Or bone broth if you wanna get the collagen in there. Yeah, you gotta do that. Bone broth is your dude. Do you do stock? Is that it instead? What is stock? In there yeah, you got bone broth is your dude It's actually dr. Corduroy prophylactics now. I'll thank you. I'll thank you to call me Dr. Corduroy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sort of a Dick Whitman, Don Draper situation. Yeah. Oh man. That's a cagey motherfucker.

You won't catch him making a soup. No. Say that love, never find me Dick Whitman, Don Draper. You stay away. You stay away. You stay away. I, this again, I love cooking. I'll make Dana a soup from the bones.

I make the broth. Because if you make the broth at home, you don't have to put quite as much salt in it. Isn't that an allegory? No, soup from a stone is what I'm thinking. Soup from a stone, yeah, stone soup. I've never heard of that. I learned so much on this podcast.

I've become educated by the greatest male minds of today. We are brought to you by the Chicago School of Economics. This episode. All episodes. In the mayonnaise clinic, it's different. It's different. It's one of the big reasons we need the Mayo Clinic, actually. They have a very symbiotic relationship.

Y'all, I love making soup. And then you just start throwing veggies in. Like a chicken soup, your turnips, your carrots, you can throw some potatoes in there. It's really hard to fuck up a soup in a bad way, but it's really easy to fuck up a soup in a good way. You know what I mean? You get yourself an immersion blender? You get yourself an immersion blender?

You get yourself an immersion blender and take it up to that level? Dog. Yeah, and it's like a burger sheet. It's really easy to make like a delicious cauliflower soup at home. Chicken broth, cauliflower, onions, garlic, herbs. I like the celery in there.

Celery for sure. Yeah, definitely. And you hit it with the emergent blender and then it's like, come on. Come on. You deserve a soup man. Yeah, soup man. You deserve a soup man. I've been in a soup season all winter.

I've been making lots of soups. It's always soup season over here. Yeah. At Casa the Big Dog. Yeah. Soup in the summertime. Summer soups. I will fuck up a summer soup, no problem, not even a blink of an eye.

And you know that about me. Are you guys, am I the only one who's like, I can't be? For what? I was just thinking about- The last part of that audio dropped out. You can't remember what? I was just, the warm weather. I was just thinking about like spring yesterday we were talking about it and I just got like really upset. See, I can't, it's raining here and I love it.

So I can't. It's raining here as well. Snowing here and I love it. I like this gloomy shit, man, I don't know. I mean, I like nice weather too, but. Blair, you in New York? You're in LA? Where are you? I'm in LA. I don't, I like to stay quite out of New York is my preference. Me too, me too. I knew you were in LA? Where are you? I'm in LA. You're in LA. That's my thought, yeah. I like to stay quite out of New York,

is my preference. Me too, me too. I knew you were in LA. For some reason I was like, did you move to New York? No way, not even a chance in hell. They don't know. Never. Homemade chicken soup's a great pick,

and your third pick? Oh, me again? Yeah, oh yeah. Okay, so this is something that actually happened to me. The most romantic thing that ever happened to me, I think, is that a man paid for me to freeze my eggs when I was young with Kim Kardashian's doctor. That was really nice. This man, you know, he set me up to, hopefully, God willing, still have children despite my

deep fear of men. And so that I can birth progeny into the world, little tiny big dogs on leash, little tiny big dogs everywhere, gotta eat, you know? So that was romantic and shout out to that guy, wherever he is now. Little puppies, big dog little puppies. Yeah, little big dog puppies. Little big dog puppies.

Little big dog. Were you dating this man? Or was this someone who- Yeah, yeah. dog puppies. Little big dog puppies. Little big dog. Were you dating this man? Yeah, yeah. Or was this someone who, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were very seriously dating, like talking about marriage and all that, like get it, want it. We were like planning to get married and all this stuff.

And we're just like both feeling very far away from having children. So yeah, I got those bad boys on eyes, baby. That's- Face it down. Wonderful. Yeah, they're over there cryogenically frozen with Mr. One Austin Powers.

He also just saw with who? The doctor's name is Austin Powers? No, you know how he was cryogenically frozen? Oh God, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm stupid, dude. I'm dumb, Blair. Oh, you're not dumb. I'm dumb. I'm stupid dude. I'm dumb Blair. Oh, you're not dumb You're not dumb one cravat One crushed blue

crushed velvet Imping for a long time. I know it had been done in other movies specifically, but still Absolutely destroyed me those movies are incredible. I He also this man also saw these qualities inherent in Blair Sockie and he's like, we need more of that. Even if I'm not the one down the line,

whoever it is, we need more Sockies in the world. He saw it. I really appreciate that. Table three. God willing, look, I think that they're gonna go D1, you know, and that will be good. I just got to pull the trigger. I just got to be brave.

You know, this year I got to, I got to lock in, open up my heart. There's no true freedom without courage. That's true. Thank you. Send one of them to the U.S.D. That's what my therapist tells me. What? Send one of them to the University of South Dakota, if you would. I don't know.

You know, the athletics are doing great, dude. They don't even need the Saki Bump. They don't need the Saki? They don't need the Saki Bump, the Saki Set, or the Saki Spike. They could use it, though. They don't do well in the cold if they like their mom, you know?

I can't recommend having a tiny little version of yourself enough. Oh, that's funny. It's the greatest. It's the greatest. Look at that little mouth. If my husband is in the river right now listening to me we gotta get started okay? Yeah. Get it going. I'm ready to get knocked up, motherfucker? They gonna be knocked up. They won't let me out. That's such a good song. They have a smile on their face. Also his hands got so much hair. Look at his hair.

The hair is so much longer. So thick. I'm seeing other babies eight months, nine months old, no hair. Gorgeous baby. My son coming to the table looking like George Clooney. Gorgeous son. Yeah, he had a grip.

He had a grip too. Grip off the rib. Grip off the rib, baby, that's for sure. David Bortem for your third pick. Oh, you ever get this when you guys are apart and you smell something that smells like them and then you miss them for a second? Oh, David.

Oh my God, that's adorable, Jesus Christ. That one is where you're like, ah, damn. Then you're, that's adorable, Jesus Christ. That one is where you're like, ah, damn. And then you're like, for a second you're like, maybe she's at Sky Harbor. Hoo hoo! Whee! She's not.

There's no love at Sky Harbor. There's just a Baja Fresh. Yeah, it's a nice airport. Sorry, I thought you were in the Hudson News looking at people, but you're not. I thought you were buying a Think Bar at the Hudson News. That wasn't you. That was just some person who doesn't know

how to put luggage in the overhead compartment. A Think Bar in a gentleman's quarterly. Dana and I have a special occasion perfume and cologne that we wear only on vacation. What? That's smart. And then at our wedding. It's cool water. She wears Michael Jordan cologne. It's cool water.

She wears Michael Jordan cologne. I wear it off in cool water. And a lot of it. It's this special, we got it, it was Dana's idea, because she used to get a perfume for every vacation. And I was like, we should get one that we take wear on every vacation. So when we're like, when we went to France, when we went to Italy, we were like, we should get one.

We should get one. We should get one. We should get one. We should get one. And I was like, we should get one that we take, wear on every vacation. So when we're like, when we went to France, when we went to Italy, you know, when we go on these trips and then also at our wedding. So we wore this and it smells. And now when I smell it,

I'm like something special is happening. This is so romantic. This is amazing. I love this. This is the best draft I've ever, this is incredible. This is a really lovely draft You're not partnered up Just like I mean you can you can listen to old episodes of all fantasy everything and back reference

It takes so it takes a while. Oh, so Sunday still rule Sunday still rule for you. We were eating soup back then I wasn't and you weren't either Sunday's still rule for you. We were eating soup back then. You were still eating soup? I wasn't and you weren't either. I was. I never had soup. You never. I eat a ton of soup every now and again. Oh yeah, cocaine no soup for sure.

Cocaine, that's a track, that's a nice album track. Some of that Nostromo and Gattani, I was helping myself to a bowl every weekend. Some sniffer Chapino. Sniffer Chapino. It takes a while. There's a lot of, you know, you step up to the bat before you hit a home run.

Oh, that's good to know, cause it's been a while. It's been taking a bit for the Lord to put it in front of me. You gotta go down by the river. I gotta go down to the fucking river. You gotta float the river. Next time you guys are in Colorado, we'll all by the river. I gotta go down to the fucking river. You gotta float the river. Next time you guys are in Colorado, we'll all float the river.

Oh no, that's my dream is to float the river. Have you never floated a river? No, I haven't. Oh, it's so much fun. I've done it in a water park on mushrooms and that's my EMDR safe place when I have to go back. Man, if we could organize like a float trip, it is so fun to go.

Can we do this for real? Yeah. This is my true actual dream to float down a river. You talking like a rap anyone or you talking like put a bunch of tubes together in a cooler. I'm talking about, yeah, tubes in a cooler. I'm talking about tubes and brews. That would be great.

Tubes and brews. Yeah, yeah. Come up here and let's take a bite out of the Sandy. It is so fun. They do it on the Sandy. Yeah, I've done it a couple times. It is rad. We could float on the Bayou in New Orleans. We could. We do alligator lunch.

There's some gators. I'm gonna eat floating in a bowl of loud match soup. No, Ian, you're a father now. I'm not letting you get eaten up by a gator. Not even close. I'm going down there on the Bayou going, you don't buy a gator, Dale. Get eaten up by the gator.

Gonna have to buy you a new rugby after we get the man does not miss When the man takes aim the man does not miss That was like a laser fucking shot. Oh my god. Oh Well Christopher coil it's time for your is that the guy was, was that his name? The Coyle, what was it, something Coyle? American Sniper? Burlap Condom. Oh. Burlap, well, Perpetual Warlock.

Bradley Coyle. It's time for your third pick? Fourth pick? Third pick. Okay, a themed movie night. Chris Kyle, sorry. Chris Kyle, I would've got there in about an hour, I would've got there.

Yeah. A themed movie night. So, the example that's when I'm, Chris Kyle, I would've got there in about an hour I would've got there. Themed movie night. So the example that I'll use is I wanted to watch a horror movie one night and Laura's like, all right, so she ran into a cabin just outside of, just outside of the city, middle of the woods, no one around, we put candles up everywhere and like freaked ourselves out and then went on a hike at dusk and let it get dark and then we walked back

to the cabin kind of spooked and then went on a hike at dusk and let it get dark, and then we walked back to the cabin kind of spooked, and then we put on the conjuring, and I scared, I was terrified. It was awesome. Most people when they have a theme movie night, they're like, we're gonna watch Three Meg Ryan's. You fuck it. Yeah, we had like a black Christmas movie night, but.

Yeah. Yeah. It was amazing. It was awesome. But you didn't watch it in Morris Chestnut's hat. Yeah. Yeah, but you made your own Hollywood haunted horror night. Morris, Morris, please.

It's our golden anniversary. You call it Morris Chestnuts on an open fire night. We're gonna watch the best man and boys in the hood. He's only in one, less is Morris, you know what I mean? Come on. Is that in the best man? Oh, here we go, boys! It's a hot boy choir!

Here we go, boys! It's a hot boy choir! Disturbing! Oh, my cheeks hurt. See, have you done any other movie nights like that? Sounds like Sean's movie night, come on. Yeah, that was the most intricate one though. I mean, we used to, like we would do it on Christmas.

Like when we decorate the tree and stuff, we'll watch like Home Alone, just like normal stuff. But this one is like- You didn't like watch Die Hard high up in a skyscraper? Would you shoot it? No, that'd be, that'd be go to PCG and watch Die Hard with my shoes on, get in a fight real quick. Hold on, I am truly mystified at how romantic

your guys' lives are. It's actually incredible. Well, there's a lot of just rewatching Mad Men on a Wednesday. Also, I'd argue that we're already, we're already what people Pursued Chris. Well, you're already romantic to want to like be a professional comedian or something like that It's already like it's like a romantic type of person anyways Wow

incredible Yeah Yeah, I'm learning so much. I'm learning so much about the mail race It's time for my... Well, that's good because there's not enough info out there. No. Finally we're getting the word out about guys. Yeah, people. Nobody's worried about what the guys think. No, I'm trying to get on the inside. I'm doing some sleuthing right now, you know?

And I am, and it's going well. Like, I'm liking, I'm liking what you're putting down. I'm thinking, okay, man, okay, pretty good, I guess. That's all we can do, that's all we can ask for. Pretty good, I guess. Yeah, that's- Pretty good, I guess, is what we shoot for. Yeah, that's really, that's decent. My third pick is taking care with my family.

So I come from a very big, very close knit family. So it's very like important to me. I've dated people who like didn't really try to integrate themselves or like didn't really get along with my family members. Not that they didn't get along with them because anyone can get along with my family. But fuck them also.

But like with Dana, you know, like when Dana is like, like texts my mom and I'm not on the thread, it's something as stupid as that. You know what I mean? Like that's so sweet. When there was a tsunami warning the other day in the Bay, I texted my mom before I did. And I was like, whoa.

Yeah, yeah. That's like real love. You love the people I love, you care about the people I care about, like it's very, I know it's not like get swept off your feet romantic, but it was like, yo, that's like, really, really means a lot to me. It's very, very important. That little stuff is like the whole thing.

It's like, that's so thoughtful, you know? It's like they're considering the entire picture of who you are. Yeah, right, exactly. And the people where you're like, hey, these people are important to me. Yeah. You know, cause I've had people in my life who,

people like, I don't wanna get into it. Name names. No, no, no, no. Not people I've dated, but you're like, oh, this person who you're dating doesn't give a fuck about your family at all. And that sucks, man. Or they have an antagonistic relationship with them.

And that's awful. That's awful to you too. So like, I don't know, when it goes the other way, it is, I find it very romantic. It's very beautiful. And loving in such a pure way. Yeah, I've been on the rough end of that. I have made some of the worst impressions on family members.

I can't picture that. It's so crazy to think of. I can. You know those families that drink together, not like it's a bad thing, but when you're younger and they're like, come get hammered with my dad or whatever, and you're like, I'm 23. Oh, that's my family.

It was just such a tough look for me when I was a kid. Well, there's the different kinds of getting it. If you're like at a, like, I don't know, getting drunk. If I, Dana's dad doesn't really. Yeah. Some people, that's how they bond though. Yeah.

Some people just have drinking families. Dana's dad doesn't really drink, but like if he was like, if we, if he and I like had too much wine at dinner, you know, or or whatever. Like, I'm like, that'd be fun. Like, yeah, maybe not the first time, but like eventually. It's really fun to get drunk with her parents. We had a lot of his whole family here and we had a party for a birthday

where we had the taco man and like my little brother was here. All her siblings were here. And like at one point, we're getting all drunk and my little brother and her little sister went to the liquor store together and came back. And it's just like, you're like, oh, man. Oh, that's so fucking cute. Holy shit. It was so awesome. They bought a bunch of tequila rose, which was weird.

Oh, my God. You show up and you're like, we're not all the little siblings. Yeah, yeah, we're not. Yeah. All right, we need to send someone with a credit score, not a good or a bad one, but just who has a credit score next time. Why are there 12 tequila rose judas?

That's so cute. With my fourth pick, I'm going to take something that Dana Jess did for me, which is a very thoughtful gift. She is an amazing gift giver in general. And for Hanukkah, she got me an autographed Sandy Koufax baseball, which is something that I've had in the cart so many times, but was like, oh, this is flippin'.

Or not flippin', I'm trying to think of the right word, not flippin'. This is not a good use of my money. Frivolous, thank you, Blair. Master of language, Blair Saki. Watch your standup, you, thank you, Blair. Master of language, Blair Saki. Watch her stand up, you know it to be true. Blast her language. She got it for me and I was like, oh my God.

And it goes back to that thing of knowing someone and knowing what is important to them and knowing what would really make their day. And now it's my prized possession. And I never, it felt frivolous. I never pulled the trigger on it for myself. And she got it for me and it just brightened. Every time I look at it, it brightens my prized possession and I never, it felt frivolous, I never pulled the trigger on it for myself and she got it for me and it just bright, like every time I look at it, it brightens my day. The greatest Jewish athlete of all time,

the left hand of God, Sandy Koufax, and she got it for me after we had our kid and I'm like, he will have this baseball. That's so sweet. Yeah, it ain't going anywhere. Unless somebody breaks in. And you're gonna throw it right between the eyes. Jesus Christ, Sean.

Yeah, throw it right there. No, no, you're gonna, unless somebody breaks in and steals're gonna throw right between the eyes Somebody breaks in and steals it and then it's like you never got it No, I'm talking about break in they're gonna find out who Sandy Colfax really was when they get a fucking fastball to the noggin enthusiast a Lifelong bachelor, I believe But yeah, just very thoughtful gifts. We, like, she got me for one of the holidays, this painting that was like a watercolor of match books

of all these restaurants that we've been to. What? On dates that were important to us. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm serious. So there's like one from London, one from Rome, and one from Paris, not Rome, but Paris. Paris, like all these restaurants we've been to.

What canards on there? One from Port- That is the crazy, that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard of. Yeah. We've gotten each other a bunch of stuff like that. I got her prints of restaurants we've been to. She got me, or I got her a map of the US

with like where the places we've been to, she got me, or I got her a map of the US with like, where the places we've been on vacation are sort of blown up and highlighted. It's another watercolor. You're getting that too. That's the fun thing about when you get the cut, where you're like, hey, look at what I got you. We were both doing all these things.

Now I got it for me too. It's kind of dope, you know? Well, yeah, also, like, when you give and do these thoughtful things like the amount of love That that builds in the other person for you is so it makes like giving so much fun Too cuz you're just like I'm strengthening our bond all the time Yeah Sorry, what? Is that your Pharrell? My god! What the fuck was that, guys?

Oh, you all just went dark when I just said the most profound thing that there was? I got a work email that popped up in the corner and I was like, what the fuck? Oh, sure, I got a work email! I'm just talking about love and the heart, I'm just going deep in the soul, and you guys

all left me out on the field nowhere to be found We are such a job Bleeding in the mud Your honor was that right though, thank you excellent point Um, you're 100% right though. Thank you. That was an excellent point. Wow. I can't believe the romance that's been going on.

This is incredible. I haven't been living. I've been making some mistakes. The day is long. Get in the river. No, you guys are providing a map for me in the direction that I need to go. And so I really feel this is a divinely orchestrated moment that I'm sharing with you. I'm being enlightened about the truth of man behind them, beneath the curtain, on the back of the curtain.

There's no doubt. John Jordan, the temporary forfeit. Comfort beyond God's curtain. When she shuts the hell up. I couldn't even say it out loud. You should have committed to that. I tried my hardest. You said it to me.

You said it to me. You should have stood on that. I tried my hardest Couldn't even say I could barely think of without smiling Get yourself a nice warm glass to shut the hell up for Christmas. Just some peace and fucking quiet. Hey, why don't you go see what's happening in the other room? Wow, things just turned so sinister. Oh no. Just at 6 p.m. go to bed. My fingers hurt.

You're tired. Sharing a dessert. That's always a fun one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, any kind of it. Yeah, like splitting. Just any after dinner, splitting some cheesecake, going and like not being able to. Splitting some cheesecake. That's what you're doing up in that cabin. My cheeks hurt.

Oh, I saw it coming and it hit me like a seizure. Did you guys? I caught the Holy Ghost. Did you guys I caught the Holy Ghost did you guys see that? Put in some cheesecake, that's for sure. Put in some cheesecake this weekend. Excuse me, excuse me waiter. I don't see any cheesecake on the menu. Oh man, That's good. Oh, and anyway, yeah, you can't decide on the ice cream. So you get you each get like a different kind and split it. I also feel like that's really maybe I think Ian's probably in the same boat.

When you're not partnered, it's not a sweets going on. No, that's for sure. I think about I've gone to dinner with you two a million times, we never get dessert. No, we rarely do, which is silly. We would like to split a dessert too. I just, I think somewhere in my head, I got it that dudes don't do that.

We have, I mean, I know we have. I don't get fucking dessert, god damn it. We've done, look at the mess hall. Sean and I split some beignets. We've done it, I remember at the mess hall getting like, so here, when it's not with my partner, a dessert can get a little runny and stuff. I get grossed out doing it with-

What do you mean runny? Like if there's too many- Loose boundaries, you're saying. Kinda, yeah. If it's a solid piece of cheesecake, great. Let's all get our forks in there. But you get mixing around ice creams and it gets all soupy and then it's I don't you know You don't want to live out with the fucking boys

Yeah, just gets a little icky for me. So but you know But I'll split a dessert with you guys now that you know how I feel about it if you still want to do it I'm not gonna do it, it's okay. Oh. You really took the wind out of the sails. Yeah, it's all right, man, we don't need to. Listen, three minutes ago I laughed the hardest I've ever laughed. I hit the, I think I might've broke the chair.

David, Alana and I will split a dessert. Yeah. I'll send a picture of it to Dana. Dana can tell me. You'll split a Cheeks cake. Cheeks cake. My player said Cheeks cake. David Bowie, it's not Bowie. I'm disgusting.

Sorry. This is funny, because this came up the other day. Waking up together. Oh yeah. Yeah. More so than going to sleep together. I don't know why, but yeah, something about waking. It just feels more, you go to sleep with a lot of people.

We go to sleep together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, you split a cheapskate, you pass out. Split it. You just yeah, you go to sleep with a lot of people. Waking up with somebody is really special. I'm sorry to your romantic idea, but splitting cheesecakes is like something that would be on a Big Johnson T-shirt from back in the day. Big John Big Johnson's like a dessert factory splitting cheesecakes.

Oh yeah, I got fucked by Big Johnson. Huh? Remember that? I tried to get Big Johnson shirts for all of this one time. Yeah, that's right. I do. David, you're in fucking L, brother. Whoa, you're in D. Yeah. David, you're in fucking L, brother. Whoa, you're in D. Yeah, sorry. Now I'm also looking for a big Johnson shirt.

If anyone out there's got a big Johnson hookup. Well, I got a big Johnson hookup for you. If anyone out there's got a big Johnson in the river. Oh, that's one of the top sellers. Oh, yeah. You're always deep sea fishing with a big Johnson. I mean, it was nuts. Those shirts were insane. Yeah. Liquor in the front, whatever in the rear.

Poker in the rear. I used to wear that to school. Nothing wrong with being a size queen, okay? No. Oh man. This one says, craw daddy Johnson, punch the tail, suck the head. Woo!

That might be a New Orleans origin. Woo! Woo! Holy buckets. Woo-wee! I know, I think this lost his mind, That might be a New Orleans origin. Holy buckets. I know what I think just lost his mind already hit purchase on that one. Oh, yeah. Oh, you mean I already own three of them Why don't you know it? I know you I got you pegged. I said those are your seat covers. Hey, I said It says recording stopped. Try to get recording again record record again. I mean, I got a memory

I'm not on now. Yeah gigs, bro. I Shouldn't be I just deleted a shit. I got 17 free on my probably just your CPU going whatever. I don't know CPU is your central so it stopped at 31. It says I Never heard of a CPU my life. Okay Terminator had one is a I never heard of a CPU in my life. Terminator had one. I'm recording again pal, sorry about that. Thank you My CPU is a neural networking processing center. Oh my god, Isaac. My underwear is staying on, alright? Where are we? That wasn't even me, that was Sean. That was me. I'm just picturing the end the night something like listen my underwear is staying on so you can just stop. Stop with the low voice.

Oh you think I haven't said that to so many men? Stop with the computer talk. They're staying on. They're staying on, alright? Nothing about BTUs is getting in here, player. Alright? Later, it's time for your fourth pick. Okay, yeah, I love romance. Okay, a surprise puppy or kitten in a box is really the height of romance. Oh my god.

Obviously you can only give this to someone if you're a hundred percent sure they are a pet lover who you know would adore it. But this is a height of romance, bonding forever between the two of you, basically marriage saying I want to raise this pet with you for the next 15 years, and we're going to like be a family. Yes, absolutely. Dana got me our kitten, Eddie, the one who was on camera earlier.

She came home, she said, I have a little surprise for you. And then it turned out to be the littlest kitten. She was so small. She meant literally a little surprise. She was so cute. And you're just like, man, it would have been nice if this was a Sandy Koufax autographed ball. I'll tell you that.

Same size box. She said, just you wait. Just you wait, it was a call forward. She put Eddie in one of my sweatshirts too, so she got used to my smell. It was so sweet That's so sweet. Oh my god. This is just That see that's a good even sweeter

It was my mom who is now completely like recovered had it was she had just told us about her cancer diagnosis So like this was like a week later and I was like just depressed And she got the kitten. It was so just the sweetest Wow that is so incredible And then she turned into a butter stealing hellion Baby cats been getting in the butter to You guys leave your butter out you got butter on the counter Not anymore now the shits in the fucking cupboard just needs a small window to get the butter doesn't need doesn't need to be left out If it's if it's in public she'll get it

Yeah menace Castle I mean I would too if there's a bunch of like if I never got chicken nuggets and someone just left a bunch on the counter sometimes Sorry if you need them for your soup or whatever, but I mean I Would like you to make a chicken nugget soup. Chicken nugget noodle soup? A beer cheddar chicken nugget soup. Well yeah, I would eat the shit out of a beer cheddar

chicken nugget soup to know it's to be loved, to be known. That would be so good actually. Sour gummy diet coke soup? Oh my god, incredible. It's time for Blair's final pick, but first we're gonna take one final break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Now, a lot of people talk about red flags in relationships. It's funny that this is like one of the prompts on the ad because we were gonna draft this one time. Wanna talk about green flags. We honestly were, because we drafted red flags, and we're like, let's try to draft green flags. Like things that you focus on that are good in friends and partners

and stuff. A lot of times when you think of going to therapy, you think about identifying negative things, you're like, what am I doing wrong? Da da da. But there's also plenty of good things you can identify in people and yourself, and it just helps you to practice those moving forward and just embody like that green flag about yourself. I think that is an amazing way to go that I wish I wish I would have thought of that. But it's really good to see those things in people. I try to do that. We all try to do that as much as I can. I always try to find the good in people or the situation or the silver lining.

And that's something that therapy can help you out with as well. Not just identifying things you got to work on or whatever. I mean, it's good for all that, but it can focus on the positive, which is what we're all about good vibes gang for days. Uh, but seriously, it's, it's just helpful going to therapy in general. You can learn positive coping skills, all the stuff that we always talk about. You set boundaries. I'm a people pleaser. I'm working on trying to figure out how to, you know, put myself

first a lot of times, just everyone's got their stuff. So give it a shot. BetterHelp is fully online. It's extremely affordable, it's convenient, and they're serving over five million people worldwide, so they gotta be doing something right. You have access to an extremely diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists

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Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post-game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat? The Angel Reese special. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the postgame burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat? The Angel Reese special. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. It's going to be a high C for me. Sound good? All you have to do to get it is beat me in a one-on-one. I'm just playing. Get the Angel Rees special on McDonald's now.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. And we're back on a very romantic all-fantasy everything. Blair Saki is about to make her final pick. I love being back on the line. Okay, my final pick. This was really hard to choose, but ultimately I came back to a man that takes your grandma to lunch and or brings her flowers.

That will make me fucking slide right off my chair. That is the height of sweetness, the goddamn height of romance. For real, for real, that's true lover shit. If you take my grandma somewhere, you should talk to my grandma. Like that, it's just, that's love. Blair is giving you actionable things here, listeners.

These are things you can do. Some of the other picks have been esoteric. Blair is telling you, buy someone a dog, take their grandma to lunch, freeze their eggs Where does your grandma want to go to lunch? On my grandma died, but if she was still alive My grandma yeah, he was 97 she did assisted suicide, which I honestly wasn't aware was legal in California I thought it was just your guys state of Oregon But yeah, you can do it here.

And she was like, oh, I think I'm ready to go. I mean, listen, if you know yourself. Yeah. I just got a work email, so I'm sorry I'm distracted. I bet you would've wanted to go to the old spaghetti factory if I know grandma's. My dad used to work at the spaghetti factory. The new one though, right?

Your friend Ian used to work at the old spaghetti factory too. Is that true? Oh yeah. Whoa. Oh yeah. Whoa, that's cool. I put in time. The one in Culver City, is that right? No, I worked at the P.F. Chang's in Torrance.

I worked at the- Oh, I love P.F. Chang's. I love P.F. Chang's. I love Torrance. I worked at these. I love P.F. Chang's. Old spaghetti factory I worked at was in McAdam headquarters. Where's that, Open Mop, yeah, Chang's. Old Spaghetti Factory I worked at was in McAdam, headquarters. Where's that, Oregon? Oregon, yeah.

It's an Oregon company, the Old Spaghetti Factory. Is it really? Oh yeah, Oregon. Pendleton. Old Spaghetti Factory, Nike. Oh, totally Pendleton. Columbia Sportswear. Definitely.

One thing South Dakota has is. Western Metal Arc. Black Hills Gold, we got a lot of that in South Dakota. Yeah. That's an excellent pick. Black Hills Gold, we got a lot of that. South Dakota. That's an excellent pick. David, your final pick. David. He's too busy texting the love of his god damn life. He gets mellow.

She's downstairs. No, he's texting Oliver and then she wrote wrote back, Oliver, and then he wrote back, Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver. Good natured ribbing. Oh, yes sir.

Just like really making fun of each other. So today, Max was bummed out when I had to take her to daycare, and Laura's like, maybe Dad can act like me, because she wanted Mom to take her to daycare and Laura's like maybe maybe dad can act like me And because she wanted mom to take her and I go yeah I like like you and I opened every cupboard in the kitchen and left it open She's like, yeah, she was giggling it was pretty tight Hey, I'm saying something

Again, I have been educated. Yeah, that's that's me in our something. That's so funny, I thought that was a male thing. Again, I have been educated. Yeah, that's me in our situation, that's me. Oh really? Oh, that's her all day. Yeah, if I wanted to be her, leave a lot of drinks around. Me too. That drink.

Yeah, I shut the lights off. How do you not finish your drink? You bought the drink. I know, I don't get that one either. I leave a lot of shoes out. I probably got four pairs by the door. Oh yeah, we got shoes downstairs like crazy. I got a shoe basket, so when the man comes through,

then he can just put his shoes in there, no problem. Does he put them in the basket or does he leave them by the door? Little litmus test. He puts them in the motherfucking basket. He's trying to get in with the big dog. All right. You know? Motherfucking baskets. He's trying to get in with the big dog

I feel like if I went to somebody's house, I wouldn't put my shoes in a basket Well now we know now we know but I got like a little tiny apartment like, you know There's not much room for disarray, but I got some big pretty boats. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's Especially if I'm wearing like the purple fives, I'm not putting those in a You know, you know, you're welcome there they're you're welcome to have them outside the basket in my Basket I really never saw that for saw this tussle coming but here we are but uh, yeah, it just because like especially when you live together. It just becomes the person that you Are with the most so it's the person you make fun of the most. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's just like what it's one of the most loving things you can do is to like fun of someone gently, you know

Oh, yeah Question I have to ask you guys is you know, I descend into trying to Intentionally attract my soulmate life partner for this life and beyond Do you guys all have two bathrooms or how do you what do you do if you have to shit you go in your man? bathroom to As the man that I went like I don't want that no, I bathroom as the man that I went with. I don't want that. No, I don't.

Yeah, we don't really do that. It becomes unavoidable. Yeah, I mean, it's gonna happen. And then it's like hotels and stuff. I don't know. I'll go in the lobby. I'm a real prude. I'll go in the lobby in a hotel.

Like, I'll go, I'll leave the room. Depending on how big that room is. Yeah. Really? That's so romantic. That's so thoughtful. You guys are more in love than me. God.

Like that's so kind. Oh my God. I'm like get over here. Check this out. I just dropped 60 in there. Hello. God damn Jordan in the garden. Hello.

That's such a funny way to put it. It's different for different people, you know what I mean? We're gross though, we're both gross. Really? Yeah, see, I guess that's another form of intimacy that I've never experienced. Yeah, we're luckily on the same page with a lot of that. I've never farted in front of a man while awake. I get stomach aches to avoid it.

Like, I don't like doing it. I have body shame stuff. I don't like doing these things that I feel like are gonna make me more attractive because I want her to be attracted to me as long as possible. That's smart. That's lovely.

But she didn't marry you because you don't fart. I did, it's deep in there. Actually, why am I putting my thing on you? Well, no, because I wonder, it's like, but if I, I would be like mortified if I did. I've done it accidentally a few times and I apologize like I cheated on her. And she's like, it's fine.

I'm like, it's not fine. You're standing on stage, that's so funny. You didn't say that on stage. Well, you farted and another woman's earring popped out, right, that's why you were doing that. Yeah, I farted. It was a phone number list. Your old black book.

It just unfurled. Put in the old present pocket sometimes and it just, it could play out. Who's dead now? Sean, time for your final pick. This is pretty specific, but bringing me hot sauce back from the grocery store every time. She always brings me back, she sees a every time. She always brings it back.

She sees a new one, she always gets it for me. And it's great. It's really going through all that sauce, huh? I'd go through it. Again, the doctor's probably gonna wanna talk about it today. But as of I'm trying to tone it down, but. That's so funny you went to the doctor today. I went to the doctor yesterday.

Oh, I went to the eye doctor yesterday. Yeah, I go once a year, but I. I go to the Jew doctor yesterday. Yeah, I go once a year, but I- I go to the Jew doctor, you know. When I go. Me too, drop a rec. I got you, I got you. I'm honored in the greater Los Angeles area. That's how you get the good doctors.

That's right, synagogue. Oh, I meant the recs. Oh, the recs. I thought you meant the Jews. Well, yeah. Astute-ous people, wouldn't you You meant the Jews. Well, yeah. A studious people. Wouldn't you all agree? Yeah.

Yes. All right. I got a work email. Sorry, they keep coming in at the weirdest times. What are some of the weirder hot sauces she's brought home or more unique? They're usually not weird, but she got Melinda's the other day.

They make a thick Melinda's towel. She she got Melinda's the other day. They make like this they make like a thick Melinda's She brought thick Melinda Finally you're getting it that met some different when it was your dad Melinda I want some thick Melinda Great Melinda yeah like a like a like a Frank's red hot, you know the thick Frank's red hot Yeah, but Melinda's and it's, yeah, it's icy. It is, you squeeze it out, it's so dank. Cause that, you know, if it can be thicker,

I want it thicker, the hot sauce, you know? Sean can't podcast today, he's squeezing thick Melinda. I can podcast, I can do two things at once. Do you think I've never masturbated on this show? Nah, that's gross. But just calling it thick Melinda is pretty funny when you're talking about Jimmy. Strong, flannel, leather, pussy, destroyer. Come on.

This is about romance. It's not funny to think about me calling my penis thick Melinda. I think it's funny. It is. Is you jacking off on Zoom like Jeffrey Tubin. That's where it falls apart. Oh, with the saying it like that, I think I was a little more charming when I said it. But, you know. Everything I do is charming, bro.

I'm wearing a rugby shirt. Well, we're a rugby squad right now. Oh, yeah. And now we're starting to talk like one. Yeah. My final pick. It's a simple one. I but I do love a big all out of nowhere smooch Love a smooch yet Nothing would indicate that a smooch is happening just like one of those tornadoes and twisters where it just comes out of nowhere

Smooch I love it. Wow right down the middle loving out of nowhere down the middle. Yeah Red leather pussy destroyer. Do you have a pick? Smile like I've never Laughing at the red leather pussy destroyer I don't know what you just laughing at the red leather pussy destroyer mentioned. Well that's your name, I don't know what you're laughing at. Falling asleep on the phone together when you know, I've been in a long business relationship. Oh yeah. When you just like, you know, you miss each other, you're just on the phone.

Neither of you actually want to go to sleep, but your body's like go to fucking sleep. It's 1am. Yeah. That's so romantic, Isaac. You're just smiling, going to, going to La La Land, going's 1 a.m. Yeah. That's so romantic, Isaac. You're just smiling, going to La La Land, going to Dreamland. When you talk so long your ear hurts from the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I put it on speaker and lay on my stomach.

That's the good stuff. Excellent picks. To recap, to recap, Blair, you went first. You took gas station snacks from your paramour, homemade chicken soup, getting your eggs frozen, then paying to freeze your eggs with Kim Kardashian's doctor, a surprise puppy or kitten,

and then a man taking your grandma to lunch or buying her flowers. My dead grandma. Your grandmother. What a crazy rom-com that was. That was a piece of rock. Bringing my dead grandma to breakfast. David, you went second.

You took remembering funny things together, cooking dinner together, smells that remind you of one another, waking up together, and then giving each other a good-natured ribbing, which is different than splitting a cheesecake. Burlap condoms. Roger.

Sean, you went third. You took learning something because it'll be important later, actually being concerned about my wellbeing, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm of nowhere smooch. Excellent picks all. Happy Valentine's Day. My heart is enlarged after this motherfucking episode. It is, I have been rocketed into the realms of romance. Yeah, it's a Grinch day. Everybody's heart has grown three sizes. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.

We wanna hear your picks. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter. AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. We should start a blues guy. Because I guess we still do have that Twitter account, but yeah. Oh yeah. No one's looking at it.

And I'd like to say, if you think you meet the qualifications for someone that I would be interested in, you can feel free to email Dave Blair Sockie at gmail and send a few pictures. Tell me your age, you guys feel free to email date Blair Saki at gmail and um send a few pictures Tell me your age you guys forget that a lot and something about yourself There you go. Oh Shit, I forgot my age. Sorry

Blair Saki, it's a real fucking email address Isaac. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course You know why because I don't follow anyone on Instagram. And so if someone DMs me, I can't see anything about them because I have private profiles. There you have it. There you have it. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon

where there are auction drafts, bonus episodes, mailbag episodes, video podcasts, all sorts of different stuff. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit, you bunch of sweethearts. Shout out to the perpetual warlock, Isaac K. Lee. I like that, yeah. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel, shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats,

and more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Happy birthday, Ivan Carmel. Oh, yeah! Yeah! That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True Podcast now on HeadGum. Every week me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on.

I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow, or my actual biological mother, Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth. And if we find it great, and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya!