All Fantasy Everything - Salads (w/ Sean O'Connor)

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

This is Sean Jordan's favorite topic of all time.Guest:Sean O'Connor (@seanoconnor)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. and everything from the world of popular culture. Woo! It's not tight, baby! The podcast that has no liquid IVs. None. Well, the podcast has quite a few liquid IVs, but not distributed equally.

Very much I'd love to get Bernie Sanders involved in the liquid IVs. Once Mom Donnie finds out how many liquid IVs are getting distributed. Still the intro? In the intro, dude. Take your shirt off. Grow up. Nah.

I'm your host, Ian Carmel. Is that what I say now? And with our guest, nope, our guest today is comedian, writer, recent Emmy nominee.

I was going to say Emmy nominated. You, you too. Congratulations to us. Congratulations. Congratulations. What do you think we were right for?

To push a fucking RAB4? Probably. It's a lot less hard. I have been looking at mid-sized SUVs though. I will say Rav-4s are pretty cool. Brother? They're all right. I've been,

because, You know what happened? I've been looking at mid-sized SUVs. Yeah. You got that Kia. Yes. And I told Alana, I was like, I'm cool. I listen to rap music.

I'm not going to get a Kia. And I'm scared about the Kia boys. Then I started looking into it. Kia's changed. It was a smart move. It is on fire right now. We might be double Kia's pulling up. They are paying me to say this.

But Kia is Liddy 5,000. I think that's what the email told me to say. Yeah, one Honda, dude. Kea. Isaac, can you see how much of my underwear from my... Bro, they're so good. We're long underwear and short shorts. It's quite a bit.

It's a bit of a lot of... And I am saying this, hopefully that I can get one from this podcast. Because what do you got? A 2024? I don't know if we can get Kia. David, you're not getting a Kia from this podcast. You don't think we can... I know, you know what?

Why am I blocking your shot? Because you're standing up, tuck it in your shirt. God, I'm... There's no decor of me. Kia, give me a 23 Give me a Kia, give me a 22 Telluride

Give me a 22 Telluride And I Will say I voted for Trump What do you think? Your hands are saying it already Yeah A deliride Like

And honestly that we're all showing So much leg That they might give us all Keyes I think we could all get Kia's right now Can I tell you something Makes me feel more in shape When a little bit of my underwear is showing

Yeah You feel fast. A little bit. I've said this since actually junior high school. Yeah. Two pairs of pants makes you feel faster. This is like hard knocks running back shit. This is like how running backs look at hard knocks.

Except with bigger much, the legs are more in shape. I feel like Michael Jordan put that in all of our heads in the 90s with like the bike shorts under the shorts. He's the first guy I ever saw Rock in the Double Shorts and it worked for him. It's so sexy. I'm going to show up in here with that tape like athletic tape next time. God, I want that so bad. I want that athletic tape that you don't know where it goes. Yeah.

But it's just like from mid forearm to mid-bisep? Yes, and it's like, what did he tear? What does that do? Can you injure that? It's all bone. You can't bend it. Like, did somebody go, did Shang Sun go in there and rip it open? It doesn't make any sense the distance.

Yeah. Like, tip of the finger, back of the wrist. Dude's just doing an arm nail. I mean, did any of you guys do that? Because I did the Nelly Band-Aid all through seventh and eighth grade basketball. And I did that and I did wristband on my leg because I think I saw somebody do it in March Madness. Wrist band on your leg is tough because there's no actual, there's no real explanation. There's not.

It's all fashion. On my little fat boy legs, I was rocking it. I had this guy around, like, right here. The rapper version or the Fallout Boy, like... Skateboard. The skateboard rapper version, where it's like a sweatband. I love you so much. I don't like if...

I bet whatever's going to come next is going to be sort of like... Is it going to really sting? Not in the spirit of that. I love you so much. Twice. You weren't necessarily seeing the field. David. What do you mean?

In the way that we're all talking about? Athletics. Oh, yeah. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, you weren't a starter. You weren't, yeah. You weren't like starting varsity. You never started varsity.

Sean, did you ever start varsity? We didn't say your name yet. Sean O'Connor. Sean O'Connor. Hey, what's going on? Sean O'Connor. I said a comedian writer. I mean nominee.

And they knew. We never said a name. There was only two comedians nominated for an Emmy this year. We are. He also said model prom dated. Yeah. We are up against John Malaney, Tina, Faye, Jack Handy, Lorne Michaels.

Have you seen? Who? Oh. Thank you. I'll do it. Thank you. Who? I'm kind of got to make it look like... John Mulala? Like...

Tina Fuffa Fah? Tina Fafelato. Yeah, Tina Fafelado. She's... John Meyer. Yeah. I actually do have to confess to you guys the other night in bed. I was just...

My girl fell asleep on me telling her how funny I think Tracy Morgan was. Yeah. I'm just like... Yeah. It doesn't even make any sense. He just says anything. And she's like... She just fell asleep.

And I'm like, no. No, literally, he just says things that don't make sense, and it's so good. Were you there with me at the, when we had to talk to him backstage at the, at the, at the, uh, oh, you must have been like playing masturbating bear or something. So at the mark. Sean played, by the way. I was the masturbating bear in the Mark Twain thing. I didn't know how hot that suit was. And I was saying you start J&O.

I mean, yes, and then you have to repeatedly jack off in a very certain way. So you have like three old white guys telling you how to jerk off. And I'm like, this is like high school. Hey, we're in the middle of a good riff. Can you, can you tell me, can you send me the link to get that hat? Yeah. Yeah. That's good.

One of the nicer things you could do to somebody. I think, I think, I think it's the best time I could have possibly. Yes. But I was just looking at it. I've said it to it tonight. Okay, cool. I know. It's like cream.

It's really bad. And it's like in the texture. Yeah. A lot of, because a lot of signs, the side of the hat, they blow it. They do. But a lot of times they blow it. New York. That's awesome.

New York or nowhere. I want to just give a shout-up. They did a collection for the Mets. They're collaborating with Kia. They are actually, they're part of the Kia Corporation. They sponsored Mom and Donnie. Kith, Mom-Doney, and New York or Nowhere is all Kia. Yeah, it's all Kia.

Yeah. Do you guys ever get your feelings? hurt when people say... I've never had my feelings hurt. I don't have feelings. When people say Kith sucks on the internet? Yeah. Yes!

Because when I lost, wait, the first... Maybe tell you you're a douchevary like, wait, I think Kiv is cool. I'm like, oh, I'm not supposed to like it. The first X-L thing I bought was a Kith sweatshirt. And it came, and then, like, that's right around the time. Almost as though they watched it show up on my doorstep. I'm 60 down now.

Yeah. You don't think I have a cart full of X-L? Come on over, baby. This is... Come on over, baby. Honestly, I got to give a big time shout out to all of the brands. When you lose weight, I'm losing weight right now. I got Sean's, by the way, Sean O'Connor's shirt, I got that in a hoodie from the same Instagram promo.

There are certain brands like, Kith, Fear of God, that you're like, I'm going to, I'm going to, hard watch my new spelt self. I need you to know, I need you to know that essentials fits me. I'm an essential I'm an essential now You're in a hockey jersey Neutral I'm in a hockey jersey Which is the most fat guy shirt

Yeah I know that I know that It was set by a fan I pull the sleeves I appreciate you What this tells me is that you You've lost enough weight To feel comfortable wearing a hockey jersey

And not feeling like a caricature That is Ian I'm gonna fucking We need to suck dicks I was going to say You're going to give me a million guesses what you were going to say right there I've been with him all day

I want to pick it up pretty quick I was going to suck your dick and I was like that's not fair because I'm respecting myself It's a partnership and loving myself Mutual feletia Exactly

Exactly So I'm saying Ian We're going to suck dick Mutual felation is going to be a coachill You and I We're going to suck dick Hey, man, I think you're really... Any guys losing weight out there this summer?

We'll suck you a dick, too. Don't say you're gonna suck your... Hey, I got the big boys. You big boys come to my doorstep. Shut the fuck up. You can get it too. You can't shut the fuck up! You want some great?

Kid flip to the eighth grade. What did you say? Bad guys. You're losing some weight. You don't know what to do. You want to say I'm going to suck your dick to your friend. Don't do that. Say, we're going to suck dick.

We're going to suck dick. We're going to suck. You just say that to your girlfriend, like, we're going to suck text today, right? Do you think that's ever happened? Like, a gay guy has gone up to another guy, like at a barman, like, hey, man, you want to suck dix? I think that every... That's all I'd be my move. I think that every combination of word and dicks has happened with guys.

Yeah, that's true. Because desperation... Because they just... They just really be fucking like that. Yeah, no, I mean, truly, like, my friend Dash was just telling me about this bar right over here in Echo Park that he was like... I'm going... He's like, it's crazy.

You just go. And then some nights there's just like a tent out there where everyone is just fucking one guy in the tent. Whoa. And I'm like, that's just a bar? Does that ever hurt your feelings? That used to happen to me in San Francisco where you would go to bars that would be gay cruiser bars.

Yeah. But you just went because they had $2 beers. Yeah. And you never knew it was a great cruiser bar. And then some gay guy tells you and you're like, oh, so I'm just a fucking loser. Right, right. Right. I do think there's a vibe.

Although I think there are people who like straight dudes, like obviously seeming straight dudes. But I also think there's just that where they're like, oh, that guy's here for the $2 beer. Yeah, exactly. They kind of, they pick up the hockey jersey over there looking around and text. Because I think if there's a... No, I don't like you. You're coming out of this hockey jersey. I know it's twice. It's twice. I'm going to beat your fucking ass.

Won't happen again. It's going to roll your jersey over your head worse. What I do like about a hockey jersey being like a hockey jersey being like a, like a, like a synonymous with a fat guy is they also have Hawaiian shirts. And I like that it's both tropical and Arctic. A shirt for every climate. Yeah. I mean, I, let me tell you, I bought in early on athleisure.

Oh, yeah. Well, that was the only, like, champ sports. That's what we got. The only guy who had us. Yeah. For a long time, because they're like, we got tall. So it'll hang over your gut hang down. No, yeah.

I also went to big and tall for the tall. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, I thought you guys were made up for years. Never saw a tall there. There's no tall big guys. There's no tall guy. Never.

Oh, yeah. You go to Destination X-L because you're too tall. Come on. It was where they're like big and tall. Don't worry. Thank God for that. It's a little hack. If you want to meet Shaq.

They can't just call it big. And I respect the and tall. Like, I thank you for what you did for all. It's honestly, it's great. But like, you never saw any freak tall guys in that. As the tall couch over here. You go in there? You never were like, whoa, that guy's huge in the way of height.

Also, I've never been like, where's that tall guy getting his shirts? You're like, holy shit, that guy must be about a 64. Look at that small forward buying a t-shirt with a cheeseburger on it. I will say, though, when you do see a tall guy's shirt, you do wonder where he's getting those shirts. It is funny. It is a funny size. Like a hell of tall person's shirt. Like, I stayed at a hotel recently or this past past football season where the Knicks were staying,

and I was, like, really bummed out because I'm a Knicks fan and I saw these Knicks fans while, Nick players while I was wearing a Celtics jersey or shirt I got for free from the theater. They were like, they sent all this stuff, and I got this shirt, and I was wearing it in the elevator. And then Mitchell Robinson was on and, like, looked at me. That sucks when they see you. And I was like. When they see you in the free merch, that's a bummer. You got it all wrong.

Like, I'm not like one of those. You're like, no, I can do it. No. You're like, I think you're actually cool. I really think you're cool. I just want to know where you got your shirt. I don't think they sell them to trainers. You just take your wipe your butt with it. Listen, I don't like them at all.

I'm not a Celtics guy. That is tough. That is tough. Yeah, I, Sean Patrick O'Connor, have not a Celtics guy. I'm Sean Patrick, too. Can we talk about? Well, yeah. There's like three options.

It's a comment double. You can derail a bit, but I can't. Yeah. Fine. Put your hat on. Nice hockey jersey. Get them. Don't beat my ass.

What I was going to say was, can we talk about how embarrassing it is to be an entertainment? I have life. And be at a situation to be at a show and then wearing the merch. I don't mind it all. It's worse for us, though. Because you ever go to a show and then you could meet them? Yeah. And then you're like, I wish I wasn't wearing this.

I wish I wasn't wearing this. Fucking most deaf shirt. The one goddamn most deaf shirt I have. Just cut my Dane cook, fucking hoodie on. What's up, bro? I wish I wasn't wearing this Allie Wong beanie. Bro, how are you? Sad to Ali.

She's funny. I hope she does this. I wish I didn't have my Kenburn sweatpants on. Yeah. It has jazz on the ass. All I want to do is talk about the Dust Bowl. And he knows that. I just want to meet his equals.

See, that's why you want to meet most dev. He'll talk about. the Dust Bowl? He won't. You know that he won't. Yassimbe Ma'amai. He's married to Michelle Wolf and he will not talk to me

about the Dust Bowl. Is that? What? Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Boy, that'd be a serious dinner. I mean...

A little spoken word. Spoken word conversation. She's a little goofster. Yeah. Okay. I was wrong. And most staff, have you ever seen the Italian job? He's so funny.

Yeah. He's not not. He's not not. I think about, I will say, I think about most deaf as a bit of an Andre 3,000, where we really thought that you could do whatever, and then you never delivered it to us. Did he do whatever? Go ahead. No, you please.

You guys are poop signing up. I'm in the pocket. I keep getting you It's exciting Oh That's good No, you please No

We actually I don't remember I can't remember Oh Andre 3,000's other stuff He His flute music is not great What do you think? You're a music guy

Yeah, you know about music It's not great He just put out a jazz piano album It's bad I'm not a flautist You're not a flautist You're a flautist's son A son of a flautist?

A son of a flautist? Have you met a flautist? Oh, yeah, yeah, several. I think he's made a lot of love to floutist. I think he's made love to a flautist. Why is it not foodist? By the way, does that sound to stupid when you say flutist? It's stupid?

It makes a lot of sense. Is it stouted? It's just stouted? I think floutist. Oh, is it stompid? I think like with the floutist, it just fits the vibe of being part of an orchestra. It has a little extra oom. You have to be so rich to commit to being a floutist.

What I don't like about the flute is that it's sideways. Why is it over here? And why is it one side? Oh, you wanted to be straightforward. You wanted to be the Willy Wonka. Talk to you. Talk to you. You know, we were in the billy room real quick.

Here, can we do this real quick before you look it up? Everybody guess how much a nice flute is. Okay. That's great. $2,500. Okay. Well, what are we saying nice? What's nice?

Not the key point. Middle of the mall. 1850. So middle, mid-range. 900. Your Kia of flutes. Which is going to,

Hey, man, I've been looking at him. Kiyas are cool. I did the research. Carran car. Do you have a tell you ride, by the way? So are. Hey. I cannot stress it's enough.

Can you, and this is on, this is on wise. Make love in the back. Can you hit your guy to hit me? Yeah, absolutely. Wait, hold on. You have a Kia guy? You get maybe.

I got a car guy. You get maybe. You get maybe a little cutoff. I get a little cutoff. Well, I don't know if the cutoffs are happening, but I can definitely get you a dude. What is getting circumcised to have to do with any of this? You can give me a dude?

You have to be circumcised to drive a Kia. Also, but with your dude, do you have to have a driver's license? Yes. I'll go ahead and answer. Yes. Let me step in and answer that question. You know, I don't think you have to own,

you have to have an ID. You need a license to get insurance. I have an ID, baby. You don't need a license to buy a car. You need a license to get a car insurance, which. Come on, big dog. How are you doing this? I'm out here.

What comes from me? I exist. I'm going to say $1,200. Okay. Everybody. I want you to type in mid-flute. 1850. I'm going to go 21-01.

21. Good year. So. It hasn't happened yet. Wow. It's a pretty wide range of flutes, dudes. You type in mid-flute. How much do flutes cost?

Are you talking? I want my shit crumbed up. I want my shit golden-brown. Nickel-played like you're in the cartel. So you can get in the door. I want my shit to bang loud. Hold on. What's the door?

You can get in the door for about two. You can get into the doors. You can get in like at about $200. But like if we're talking top of the line, yeah. I'm seeing a $40,000 flutes. Oh, I mean like every single one of these instruments, if you go top, top, top. I remember my friend's ex-girlfriend.

Frinserina, she had an $85,000. You didn't say his name, but you said her. Yeah. Yeah. She's a box. Sounds like she won that. She was a violin player. Her violin was worth like 400 grand.

That she was like, it was loaned to her. Was it a Stradivarius? It was stradivarius. Yeah. And she had it right there. And I was like a little scumbag being like, I could steal this right now. Isaac's been waiting for four years to say that. I didn't.

I didn't. She married the sinners. musician guy Ludwig Gorinson Oh Yeah Wow Hey man

Of all the things you could steal to You don't want to steal any of you No because they'll know Like I'm taking it to the Pond Stars play Yeah Stealing the car rules I'm like give me chumley He can read

I'm gonna talk to you Give me chumly Would you get chumley on here next Chumla's coming in I know what that is for sure Chumley? Yeah have you ever seen the video on you

he's on pawn stars but there's a great video on YouTube of Bob Dylan signing a record for Chumley Really? Because Bob Dylan agreed to be on Pond Stars because it's his favorite show So Chumley goes to meet Bob Dylan That's got that he had a Think they Saturday cast in it

And out of the knockoff only way We don't got Chumley signed Whoa we got two versions of Bob Dylan in the house Well, he keeps reinventing themselves. Honestly, if you've ever, like, if you know anything about Bob Dylan, who's Bob? Bob Dylan is one of the few dudes I think I could hang out with and make out with. Yeah? Suck dicks?

You could have made out of the... I don't think we'd suck dicks, but I think that, like, for real, I could kiss Bob Dylan. Baby boy, I want to feel your sensual lips up and there my name. That's what it would be, and we would be, and I think we would be drinking ice teas out of cans. It would be, like, in Nantucket, and then we would just... be talking and the sun would be going down. And I think I would tongue down Bob Dylan. How would you be able to that about some Nantucket Nectar?

Your beard is so tickly on my neck. Hey, hey, can you see him? It's going to be hard to do this show with a boner, dude. Stop doing that. I think that I would, but I do think, I do think Bob Dylan is a man I could make out with, even though. No, he's famously a smoker. Yeah, he is. Me too.

TURU from... Oh, he's ripping darts 24-Sev from what I hear. Dog, you don't think I'm fucking tonguing down a Doral-soaked Bob Dylan? Dural-soaked? He's got a little bit of cash. Davey, join me in my hot tub size upside-in cowboy

made out of Swede. Yeah, I think he smokes Nat Sherman. Derelles in college. I think he smokes prime times. Remember when... Do you remember... I was talking about somebody with this, a drug dealer friend of mine. Yeah, yeah.

I'll buy that. Do you remember when everybody used to smoke prime times and pretended like they didn't smoke cigarettes? I was out of a smoking game entirely. What are prime times? I've never, I'm in the smoking game. Currently, I've never heard of prime times. You don't remember when guys were like, oh, I only smoke primed? They're little cigars that were about this.

They're little cigarellos. Cigarillos, they were about this big. Oh, Deon Sanders. And they were super flavored. So they had like Irish cream and all that. And I remember I knew a little. a lot of times, at the time, I knew a lot of girls. A lot of girls were like, I don't smoke cigarettes, but I'll smoke in prime time.

I inhale these little cigars that taste like coffee. Ooh. Yeah, and you're not supposed to inhale them. It's the whole thing. And then you quit smoking. You try those. You're like, oh, I don't smoke. And then all of a sudden, you're inhaling those.

And then you're like, why might as well just smoke again? I mean, guys, we go in some prime times after this. Get some right now. Honestly, we go and grab us some prime times? Sure, I'll go burning down in here. And some jar on. Listen, I got, I'll, I'll Uber eats us some prime time. I can see you actually doing it.

Don't do it. His name is Sean Cougar Mel and Jordan on Instagram. Are we trapped in stuff? He's here. August, when does this come out, bud? August and everything after, dude, I believe. Tomorrow I'll be in Minneapolis with Zach Desconi. First show sold out.

Get tickets for the late show. And then Saturday I'll be in Chicago with Zach Descani at the Lincoln Lodge. And then High Plains. Sean Jordan will be in the Greater Chicago, land area performing stand-up comedy. Is it Chicago or Chicago? Chicago? Chicago.

No, I'm married. I don't go to Chicago anymore. I'll tell you that. It's Chicago, right? Yeah, Chicago. You were being in a bit. Yeah, Chicago. Have you ever been there? Oh, yeah, yeah, several times.

It's a pussy town. I only went there when I was a child. See you with the Lodge, Pussy Town. And you didn't get any pussy? You got no pussy. I was seven years old to nine years ago when I visited. Oh, there's a big excuse me. This is fucking weird to say on.

on camera, but like Chicago, one of the few towns I get down pretty much every time I ever went. Every time. Pretty much. They're like BJ Armstrong, dude. H.J. Armstrong, sometimes. So, anyway, come to the Lincoln Lodge.

I'm a BJ callback week. In Handjob City. I'll be there. And then High Planes. That's beautiful. Yeah. David Borey's here. Cool Guy Joke 77 on Instagram. Coming to the Lincoln Lodge. No, I don't have anything. I'm moving. I'm moving this whole month. We don't have anything crazy.

David Jordan on us here in L.A. Yeah, I got the keys to the new place. You're back? I'm back, baby. Big time. Big time. We got the bed set up this morning, right? Come on.

Did you get the bed today? I got the bed today. I wrote, spent the most money I've ever spent on a thing is... Are you going to do it? $5,000? I'm not going to tell him. Well, Isaac, you can get this out. Can I tell him?

Isn't that fucking crazy? That's a good bet. It's fucked up How? It's the Bon Jovi song, Bad of Rosa. Can we just bleep out the number and keep the rest in? Are you uncomfortable with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How? I went into the temperspedic store and they got me. Oh, temporepetic. It's temporepetic indeed. Dude, it's like, it's so fucked up that like, I love creating and working on this with you guys more than anything. Absolutely. I can't wait to get home.

to get on it. I wouldn't blame you. Is it one of those beds that, like, the one side could be hot and the other side could be cool? There's a remote control. And you can, like, you know. Does it have a smaller bed that comes out of it? Like, how yachts have boats?

No, there's a child in there. There's a little child making more beds. There's a child in there who just works for me now. So you got to spend a lot of money to get the door. The taxes are fucked, but on the back end it works out. You make your money, but you have to. have a lot of money doing, you gotta spend money to make money. Yeah. Well, I mean,

find a job that you like, you'll never work a day in your life. That's right. You gotta keep your head on swivel. Is it, you especially have to keep your head on a swivel. It's the most, I don't know, I'm sitting next to a middle school bully. It's literally the most expensive thing I've ever bought in my life. Is it soft? Well, I think it can, it can be hard or soft, right? Sean Jordan. How's your body feel on it?

This is the only time I've ever looked at you in the eyes and wanted to call you the N-word. David, I've been asking the whole thing. time. Our whole friendship. Does it hug your body? And I've never given it to you. That's why I tried to get you to come over to my house today. I was trying to tell you, come over. Is it milky? It's fucked up, dude. It's fucked up. It's fucked up. It's fucked up. It's a milky bed.

I don't like the face you're making. If I have that hat, if I have that bed, beige milk. I put pros to my woman and you give me the link for that hat. My life might be perfect. Just that. It might be. It might be. You're laying in the... That might be as good as it gets for me. Do you think

sleeping in this bed might like set off a chain reaction of events that end with you wearing kimono-like clothing at some point? I've told my woman Bona robes. Be ready for exotic animals. Are you going to sleep in it tonight? This bed is not the end of the story. This is the beginning.

I'm going to sleep in it tonight naked. Yeah, me too. I'm going to take off all my clothes. Can we temper it tonight together? No. There's an evolution to it all. You can get in it with me. But, like, when my eyes closed, yeah, I'm going along. You don't know what's, I've seen you sleep. I can do whatever I want when you're asleep.

I really do think the evolution is. I don't like that. Exotic animals. Then your kimono-like clothes. Then you're straight up, Ebony's or Scrooge. Yeah. Oh, you have a stocking cap. E-B-O-N-Y.

Ebony. Ebony. Ebony. Ebene. What have we been new in this for nine years for? Ebony, sir. Because, brother, that's a different magazine. Yeah.

That, I would watch that Christmas story. You need to go pitch that just on that. I got physical. Tyler Perry already made it. You can call him. Tyler. You don't need to say Perry anywhere. Tyler and Kennedy are all over that one.

Yeah. That buddy, that made me get physical. I cut the Holy Ghost on that one. That was great. And that made me get physical. I just, I was doing this. That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. My little baby boy does that.

My whole life, does he, Arthur? That's the name, right? Dude, your little boy, can I tell you, me and Alana were laying in bed? Boy, your little boy got your head. Oh, yeah. He got your, it's beautiful. It's a copy-pay situation. And I was telling Alana, because before, when we saw your little boy, and I was like, he got Ian's head, I was telling Alana, that is the family thing.

I love the most. You ever been, like, on the beach? or some shit. Yes. And you see like a blockheaded-ass dude. Yes. And then he comes down with his four blockhead kids. And you're like, this is the point of life.

Yes. The point of life is for him to be in front of me with these little blockhead. Like, like, bro, you little boy, man, it's amazing. I love it. I love when you. It's amazing. I love how Bruce Willis's kids look like Bruce Willis. Yeah.

Even if they don't love it quite a lot. how Max looks like Sean. I love how Max looks like Sean. She's good Sean. Yeah. Because you were, I love you, busted it as a baby. I was an unattracted child. Had a lot of problems as a baby.

Hackney, lazy eyes. My eyes looked like two dead fish floating out. Bad credit. It was crazy. Bad credit as an adult. Did not, could not operate a manual. My inside was, my insides were ugly as a grown-up. He was an ugly, ugly soul.

Yeah. And now, but seeing Max, it's like, I love it. I love, I love, I don't care about people being attractive or not. I love people looking like. like people. I like that. Ian and I are doing a different thing. Yeah.

That's really, people, people really pay too much attention about attractive. Yeah. I just love it when I'm like, you're walking down the street and you see some dude or some lady with four brick body kids just like them. You all got dumb brick bodies. That's, that's what I like. Yeah. That's the good shit.

That's the whole, that's what we're here for. So no dates? What? Sean O'Connor is here. I'm going to fucking kill shit. Hey. Hey. Listen to my podcast, off the records with B Money of the Ocom Man.

Yeah. Yeah. Please listen to it. Who's the B money? Brendan Walsh, and we interview a bunch of comics and make them listen to old comedy records. Can I come on the show? Please. I love both of you so much.

Don't do that. No, please. You're all invited. I would love to do it, too. Yeah. We have, we've had. Do you listen to the party records Like Rudy Ray Moore?

Yes, we have. We actually have an unreleased episode That we will never release about it. It's a party record from Laugh Records. It's a ventriloquist act called Funky and Filthy. And literally it's the only time I've ever heard of ventriloquist.

The ventriloquist Puppet is talking about having sex with a 13-year-old girl and the ventriloquist is like, tell me more. We're like, we're not releasing this. Honestly, go on. It's an art form we don't explore.

That's you. That's you twice. Yeah, no, you're supposed to say, oh, no, stop it. Yeah, there's people here, not like, lighting a cigarette. And then he's like, what? I'm only four. And it's like, oh, okay, okay. And what's that album called?

Funky and filthy. David, we have to change the name of our law firm. No, I'm already, I'm already, I'm already sending some texts. It's on the record? Would you guys ever do? Off the records. Off the records with Beat Money of the O'Com, man. It's a good time. What's your favorite comedy album? Truly, probably my favorite comedy album of all time is Let's Get Small by Steve Martin. Oh, yeah. Classic. But then they're all going to laugh at you by Adam Sandler. It's way up there.

Have you done both of those? We haven't done Steve Martin. We did. They're all going to laugh at you with Tim Heideker. And it became a real, uh, point for us to try to get him to laugh ones at the album and we got him okay yes what's the other what's the other adam sandal one sit in june's kid uh there's that

stanley and june's stanley and june's kid and then there's uh they're all gonna laugh at you and what the hell happened to me yeah yeah you know what's fucked up as i get older i'm like i think it's like adam adam sandler and ray jay or two people in my life where i'm like i don't think this guy ever lost what's the

What's the degrees of dick separation on those two? I bet it's a less than you think. Yeah. I bet because Ray J. Active. Yeah. But Samler married. But like they're two dudes where you think about the relationships within the business having lived here for so long.

And you're like, oh, I don't think these two guys ever lost. What is in Adam Sandler L? Like the movies that you make fun of him for making still made a lot of money and he kept making them. Yeah. My mom loves Jack and Jill. Come on. He's been successful. Little Nikki will buy me three houses.

Yeah. He's been successful for like 35 years. Yeah. And those Ls are so minuscule. And they're not really... They're not really... What is the L thing? I mean, I don't think there even is an L.

It does mean loss. But Ray J. Ray J. Sallor, I think you're 100% right. What's a Ray JL? When do you leave? I don't know enough about his body a word. Which one? I mean, he had a song called sexy can't I and that was an L.

It wasn't called sexy can't I. I know, that was the fucking joke, dude, nobody got it. He had a song called sexy can't I and I said the L was sexy can't eye. And it was a chart topping hit. Did you get it? No. Sexy can't I don't really know Ray J like that. Your joke sucked.

I think I needed to know what the original song was called. Sexy can I used to run to it. Ray Jules. It's great. Sexy canter just part in my manner. Give me a rage. I'm not trying to say anything else funny He successfully launched his own version of beats

Like Beats by Drey He had like Yeah, Raycons. Yeah, Raycons like Brother, I'm telling you I have Raycon you give me a Ray JL But you lost him, I bet I have a pair of Raycons at the crib from this podcast He boinked to the Kardashians into the stratas

First! Oh, he had pneumonia when he was a candle So all count Okay, so that isn't out He had like Walking pneumonia Here's what I'll say Nobody who's ever appeared in an episode of Moesha has gotten an hour. No.

That is actually for real. It's the Garden of me. I love Moesha. I do. I love Moesha. She was a mean girl. I want to say the name Moesha was like white America's first exposure to that being possible as a name. Motta.

Like names like Moesha. I don't think broader American culture knew about it until Moesha. I never thought about it. No, you're 100% right because every other time it was, like, over stylized, comedically, like, with Jamie Fox. Yeah. Like on, in living color. Yes. I never realized, Moesio was a reasonable entry for you.

Yeah. I think that's like. Like, you're like, I can handle this. And the joke isn't that her name's Moisha. No, it's just her name. Her name was just Moisa. Yeah, okay. Yeah, she's not a Balki. No.

She's Moesia. He's not a Belkee at all. Yeah. At all. She was a reasonable, she was, she was a jerk on that show. If you watch the show, Brandy Norwood was a jerk. But she was the Ellen DeGeneres for people with apostrophes in the middle of their name. Wow, she was Black Ellen.

She was Black Ellen. I mean, Ray J. Dick launched the Kardashians. She pussy launched Kobe Bryant. Like, you did say Dick lunch. I was like, did you say Dick lunch. She did. Dick launch. I thought you said did lunch.

No, the Norwoods have never lost either. She went to the problem with Kobe. The Norwoods don't lose. They might be the best American family. She killed a guy. She did, and we like it. Hey, guess what? I don't even care.

Well, the boy was hers. The boy is my. I do remember. Who started in that video? Mackay Fyfer. Did I get it right this time? Last time I said Tyrese and I had to fucking turtle up and crawl away. You walked back to Portland.

Yeah. Humiliating. It was Mackay. Mike Pfeiffer. I thought it was Tyson Beckford Tyrese was an angel of mine Tyson Beckford huge lips Tyrese was in a lot of videos

Which one was in the Usher My Way video? What a Lee was Jet Leyen? Let me cut you off for a quick. Let me cut you off for like that. Oh he was in DMX it was in If at first you don't succeed Yeah Jetley's in there. Not a lot of speaking rules

No He got it Just do some karate Some of that jet shit It was crazy that Jet shit dude It was crazy that Jetley when he came over to America, we just did not let him speak. And he

was so fucking bad. In Romeo Must I, he was talking like, we also didn't. That was the first time because in Lethal Weptain 4, he's silent. And he is, after Romeo the only time anyone could ever stand up to Mel Gibson. Right. Like, he was, finally, Mel Gibson met his match. I just rewatched it. Jitley.

I let the Chinaman beat me if he doesn't talk. He fucking rules to that. All right, I'll deal with him. Is he carefully? They let him talk. Damn me them chook. You know the black fella can't beat me. We were talking about Ziggy in the car earlier.

I just put a button on it before Ian gets to his dates. I watched the fight scene on the plane with Gary Busey and Mel Gibson Lee. You got to relax. It is so good, dude. It's Gary Busey. But you're saying that?

You don't realize how crazy what he just said to you. I don't think it's crazy because truly I do think this is like. I had to get nuts. Like I... You have to come in hot. It's like the most evenly matched. It is.

It's a very believable fight. And Gary Boise... Like, you could see somebody who looks like Mel Gibson fighting somebody that looks like Gary Bucce in every bar in America. He shredded his hell in the night.

You could see that. He, okay, and the thing about that fight is Gary Busey stands to win nothing except that he beat Riggs. So Mr. Joshua stands to win nothing. By the way, that's all Gary Busey ever stands to win. Oh, yeah.

That's not like just that fight. Born loser. Also, Mr. Joshua should not be intimidating, but it absolutely is. My buddy had a... Joshua should never be... Joshua should never be fronted by a mister. Yeah. That name does not...

Is his last name Joshua or is he Mr. Joshua? Like, he's like a fun... His character's name is just Mr. Joshua, and you don't know. He was in special forces he can tell from the tattoo. But, yeah, like, if Mr. Joshua was coming to shoot me, I'd be like, his gun ain't going to work. It's Mr. Joshua. Mr. Joshua.

Mr. Jeremy. There's a lot of names that don't get a mister. When Gondelman, like, leaves comedy and starts teaching, like, a, like a Montessori, they would call him Mr. Joshua. Not even Montessori. It's when he teaches a school that doesn't have a dance program that he revives. Let me tell you this. That's when they call it Mr. Joshua.

Let me tell you this. And they play Anderson Pax songs. And Mr. Joshua's in the back. And Mr. Josh Norwich goes like, not like this. Like this. Is this still gone? No one we're talking about is in my head it's still gone. He's got a swisher hanging down.

Yeah. My mom told me she has the Mr. Sean jacket still at the crib. Bring it out. Turns out, I had two. I didn't remember that. I had two. I'm going to wear it to my first movie premiere.

Come on. It ain't happening. I had it when I was seven. If I got in a serious movie premiere, you wouldn't let me wear the best. I'd love you to wear it. I had it when I was seven. I assume it was three sizes too big.

Come on. Yeah. I'm down 60 LBs. I could get there. Can I say? The first thing I said to you last night when I walked up. Sexy can I say? Yeah, sexy.

Sexy can I say? Dude, I had this funny joke earlier. Sexy can't I? You look great, man. I noticed immediately. Thank you. Yeah. You look good.

I think so, too. But I've always thought you looked good. Yeah. You two look like shit. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, he missed. I'm literally.

Sean, all I keep thinking about is what version of that hat. Do they have an orange one? They have like three colors. I'm not sure if there's like a blue, this, and maybe, maybe orange, because I mean. I feel like they must have an orange because it's a, I just keep thinking, I've probably said orange, he doesn't say orange. My name is Ian Carmel. I like to say orange like a Jewish New York guy.

Orange. Orange. Orange. Marion. Maria, bring me the orange. Orange, you glad I didn't say banana? I won't do that ever again. Me doing that felt like Sean doing Shaggy to me.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. No, exactly. See, that's not problematic to me, but I'm a white guy. And I also do a shaggy. As a black guy, it sucks. It sucks every time you do. Okay, so I got to get rid of my shaggy impression. It's never not sucked.

And then he really like is like, He's really like, he's like, no, it's really good. And I'm like, no, it really sucks. Goinx. Don't talk about me like I'm not here. Don't talk about me like I'm not here. I'm right here. And I won't do it again.

I've said it to you. Not like that, you haven't. Mr. Lover. Not when I was listening. Gozoits. You've never said it when I cared. That's a really good job. I've never done it before.

What did you do? You did Mr. Lover, but. Mr. Lover. Give me one. It's pretty good. You let her catch you? Say reggae fantastic, please. Reggae fantastic, Scoop.

It's Scoop the guy that was banging on the bathroom floor? Scoop was banging. You let her catch you. Scoop! That's a much better song. It's a much better song. It wasn't me. You get it.

into like man so you're starting to sound like a man it's gone like you're grown up it's getting a little different it wasn't me you're starting to sound like a like a bummer dude it wasn't me scoob there we go you got any dates coming up no although I might have too soon with what's happening to late night

joinks hey shout to mandel though that was a good late oh man yeah we watched it last night the mandel man really got it he just is so fun dude Colbert will be off the air I don't write for Colbert though

So I'm okay Yeah I was gonna say it I thought you Just crazy it's just crazy shit It broke today The day we're recording this It's like canceling the 11 o'clock news It is it's just so shocking to me

I mean I think it's just It's TV man It's over It's over It's over It's over No it's YouTube no I mean it's just replaced

Yeah Being replaced I mean listen we all love YouTube We all think it's great We all love watching those guys in Wisconsin play minigolf really hard. Listen, awesome. I love feeling, I love watching about the downfall of Kid Cuddy for 28 minutes, but it does suck that, like, just, it just sucks.

It's the end of an era. It sucks. Yeah. TV ending sucks. We let the infinite monkeys and their infinite typewriters. It turns out that each monkey can make one thing. Yeah. And that's enough.

Yeah. We should have stopped at night court. Should have stopped at night court. I would have been happy. I would all be happy. I was happy. I was happy when night court was on. I better learn how to speak Chicago.

Just Chicago fire. Fire or a police? Chicago, anything. They got a Nashville 911 coming out. Nashville 911. Oh, I know. Dana. My chicken's too hot.

Morgan Wallin was whaling too hard. Speaking of, I have a book called T-shirt Swim Club. And if you like listening to all fantasy everything And you don't necessarily want to sit down If you're stuck around this long And you don't like listening, thank you. That's crazy. If you don't necessarily want to sit down and read a book

You can listen to the audio book of T-shirt Swim Club Sit there. And it's very funny. It's touching. Did you read it? I read it. It's this voice. Oh my God.

That's amazing. But I didn't like this. Oh, I thought you asked him if he read the book he wrote. No, no. No, I haven't read it. No. Have you read it? Have you read it after you wrote it?

It was straight from the dome when you did the audio book. No, I'm serious. So you wrote it, obviously. But did you read it after you wrote it? No, you read it so many times while you're writing it. I suppose you had to read it to read it to say it. Yeah. Well, I did it.

So then, yeah. I figured that out. There's so much proofing and reading and all that stuff. I know. T-shirt Swim Club, pick it up. If people pick up enough copies, we've just passed 10,000 books sold, which is amazing. That's incredible. That's crazy, right?

Yeah. If we sell a few more. they'll do a paperback literally right now I just read something that only 20,000 people can read so this is like Yeah so we sold to half of them Huge half of them

I have been reading that they're saying people Can't read which is that true The scariest thing Like adults can't read like you think They can damn Literacy is going down right now I suck at reading for sure But you can read

But you can read We're talking about straight up like Yeah I know I know even You're not even a stupid person, you just fell into a weird you fell into a weird place within a group. I think you were a brilliant, highly intelligent person. Yeah, you're not a stupid person at all.

I don't think I am. I've never... Oh, you 100% are. I've never viewed you as stupid. And I'm sorry, you got you. No, no. I miss up that I'm too dumb. It sounded like you're like, no, you 100% are stupid. No, you 100% are a brilliant, highly intelligent person. Thanks, man. Like I said. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't I don't think of you as an actual student. That's why the bit is so funny. Yeah.

I'm ugly, though. Yes. You are but ugly. You're ugly and your butt smell. You have a stinky butt and your face. They're supposed to smell. I would talk to my father-in-law about this no more than a week ago. Her nose is supposed to.

I would never let you blow me. And I have a low bar for that. For instance, that hurt. That hurts so much more than it was supposed to. That hurts so much more than it should. That's what hurt. We said, like, 17 mean things just before. But I will say, like, this is a word like 20 minutes ago, he was like, let's suck dicks.

To hear that is. Sorry, dude. I'm all over the place. Thank you, brother. Yeah. Brother, do one of that way. Grab my forearm. Brother.

Thank you, brother. That's the deepest white can get. Yeah, that is. This is some white shit. That's the, brother. Here, let me. That's legally binding. That's the deal.

Do you have some scolk? Brother, I would be overjoy to do you school. Every deal on a golf course ends with that. And it's just a little farther up to the dick. That's what's great about it. That's what's important. Yeah, you just had to start crawling. Are we drafting today?

Yeah, salads. Salads. We're gathering here today not to talk about how a hand shake can be slowly transitioned to a hand job. I was just pulling out my shorts like it's part of my outfit. But to fantasy draft salads. Yeah. You know, salads. The way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper

scissors play between the three of you and we throw on shoot here we go rock paper scissors shoot oh Sean O'Connor wins a natural victory scissors against two paper Sean is the winner of rock paper scissors it's incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft but before you do that I will remind you to say serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question rhythmic gymnastics

ribbon stuff all right yeah his Google history naked rhythmic gymnastics ribbon stuff I did Rhythmic gymnastics on that TV show Game On. Penetration. Did you do it?

Yeah, I saw it. Did you with a ribbon or with a ball? Ball. Ball. I like, I think ball is the higher art. I think so, too. They let Rob Gronkowski do ribbon. Wait, what's the ball?

Yeah, because he would choke on the ball. You would try to eat it. What do you do with the ball? What's ball? It's like tossing and catching in different, like, you, in the crook of your neck or like your leg elbow. me? Robo. You're, uh, the back of your...

Got my arm knee. Because I was thinking of this part. Arm knee hammer over here. Armony hammer. Big pun guy. Basically, you pick fourth in the first room. You pick first in the second. And with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be?

All right. I think I'm going to go... Let me go first. Me. David two. Ian three. Sean Ford. Hot corner.

I'm in the middle. I'm trying to hook up a fellow. Sean. I hate salad. Well, this is actually interesting. There's salads that aren't salads. That's what it took me a second. This is what's exciting about salads to me. When Ian proposed that I am not a salad guy, but it really forced me to do the work and think

about the salads. There's a lot of salads. That changed my life. Yes. And made me somewhat of a salad guy. I think Sean Jordan is going last. I think it's our duty to take three of those non-salad salads off the board. Fuck off.

Dude, you want me to lie, the smell of wheat. Bang, bang, bang. My man's getting straight veggies. Yeah, you're getting garden salad, dude. You're working your way up to an ass kick salad. Did you guys hear that? Do you know how tough that was, Isaac? Said I'm going to kick his fucking ass.

I don't feel safe. Can you believe that? That's just an improper. Laura doesn't like the situation. What would you do if I punched you pretty hard right now? How hard? Oh, your wife doesn't like it? What you say that?

Not that. Not that person. My wife doesn't like when I just punched her. When we're trying to bite a park his face. And I go, what would you do? She's not a fan of domestic violence, as it turns out. And she's like, the smile's weird. The smile's weird.

Your wife thinks it sucks when you proposed those situations. Hey, I made Southwest Chili Casserol. What would you do if I bunched you pretty hard right now? When you guys are watching Outlander and you're like, what do you do if I push you as hard as I feel? It's the end of the garage at the sliding door. if you watch Outlander with your wife, only two things can happen. You're either eating ass or you're punches.

Yeah, that's right. I'm like, I'm thinking of salads. Oh, man. How hard would you punch me? She's just trying to relax. Half, half speed. Half as hard as you can. Three-fourths. I'd probably punch you back.

She's like, I just brought these tomatoes in from the garden. I'm like, what if I put you as hard as I could in the fucking face? Whoa, you're really ramping it up a notch, Dave. I hit you three-four speed on your ear I'm not going to break your jar and hear it hurts He hurts

He could go deaf that way Yeah, don't I'd rather take one square on the cheek Than in the ear Don't I want that one It's fair Like when you're standing

Close to a balcony That's what I'm feeling right now With punching your ear I will say every time I'm on a balcony I always go Yeah I can jump I just have to sit down

I say that every time I... So that's it. I love salads. Yeah. Oh, yeah. At a point. I'm a big salad. I really enjoy salads. David, what do you stand on?

You're 50-50? I like them. I like them. I like them. I like them. I love a great salad. I'm not seeking them out, but I love a great salad. It makes for a fertile ground.

There's one salad that I literally, like, I'm of shame to you admit this, but I cried when I saw it was taken off. menu because it was my favorite salad and I would get it twice a week and I'm like this is At a sweet green or something? It was at Mnichita Farms Oh, let's just All right, well let's get into it

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choose fruit salad okay always good always good it never sucks it never sucks any place I go if then especially more recently if you get the potatoes or fruit salad I'm always taking fruit salad

it's delicious I never had a bad fruit salad I will push I will push back like and I sell I think this is a wonderful pick I have had a bad fruit salad sometimes a melon turn. Okay. But that's not the salad's fault. That could happen to any salad. So, okay, a fruit salad

is just fruit in a bowl, like a bunch of fruit in a bowl? Sometimes a dressing. Yeah. Sometimes a sweet poppy seed dressing. Yeah. Sometimes it or like a cream cheese. Oh yeah, you do, you can fancy it up. It could be drizzle. It could be drizzle. Many times, or sometimes it has an agave. Agave. What is agave? Like a sweet

agave dressing. Okay. But again, just a light drizzle. A light drizzle. Yeah, it's never drowning in it. A lot of time the juices are doing doing what you want to do. The fruit's doing the walk-in. Is there any kind of specific, like, is a fruit salad specific fruits

or just what you make it? It's when you tuck your nuts behind your butt and then bend over. Yeah, your bananas are great. You're multiple pieces. Butterfly knife in one hand, tambourine and the other. You yell out fruit salad. But, like, is it fruit salad?

Is it just whatever you like pineapple, whatever? I think it'd be anything. I do. I don't, I don't 100% love a melon forward fruit salad because melons aren't great. Can I say that I think fruit salad is pretty much usually grape based? I think grape grape is a common denominator.

Pineapple has been a personal favorite in all fruit salad related fruit salads. It's also a white dressing. There's no like chocolate dressing. No. What would you mini, mini, little four fruits put in your fruit salad go. All right, grape

pineapple. one half of an orange of peeled and you know what peeled yeah I'm not gonna eat I got changed and uh you know give me some apple slices yeah that's enough and then and I I like a yogurt thing but I would if you have like a chocolate dip I could do that

I could do a poppy seed dressing I feel like it's always cream based I like when sometimes a fruit salad I like every fruit salad sometimes I like when they get like regional You get like a tropical fruit salad These are the fruits of the tropic And then you're getting like a mango

And like a papaya I like everything Love a mango and papaya Also there was a fruit salad I had Maybe it was in Denver or something Where I got some papitas in there Oh yeah I don't know what a papitas

A little pumpkin seed A little pumpkin seed How like it gave it a nice little crunch factor Fruit salad I fucking love you I love bacon some pumpkin seeds That's a highlight of every October. I love being in a house with a woman I love.

Yeah. Baking pumpkins. Yes. Only I'm better now with your huge bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. You could carve pumpkins in bed probably. I've been thinking about it.

So right now in the apartment, is it just your bed? There's nothing else in there, right? There's some clothes. And it's in a camcorder. It's like one of Jason boards fucking halfway houses. There's some Avino, Camamil, body wash. But yeah. There's a go-backer.

Avino lavender, but yeah, that's it. There's an ATV. Mm-hmm. Do you remember when you got that lim-scooter? There's actually $60,000 in cash. Bigged duffel bag. Small loanmark bill. Do you remember when you got that limer scooter?

You did a commercial for him or something? No, I did. I do remember that. I did fuck. I remember that. I came into the house and it was in the house, and I was like, whoa. Okay. Why is this in the house?

It was a rap gift for Game On. Yeah. But it was a, it was a lime scooter. They couldn't give it to you. It wasn't jailbroken, right? Is this a prank? No. It was stuck in the...

Well, go ahead, sorry. Well, it was locked in the spare room, what would be Zach's room. It was, like, in there, but you couldn't wheel it. It wouldn't work or something, right? I had to pick it up, because I was freaked out. I was like, did he in... I was freaked out. Well, I thought, I was like, did he...

I brought a home drunk or something? Was it nuts? You know, was it a crazy night? They... No, so, like, they gave it to me, like, in my dressing room, and I was like, ha, ha, ha, funny. And I'm like, I'm not taking this. Even if it was just a scooter, I didn't have the room for the room for the room for that in my life. Yeah. They delivered

it to you, right? I left it, because they thought I would take it with me. They delivered it. So I'm like, is it, what the fuck is going on? Sitting in the room. And it had like lime branding on it. Yes. Yes. Yeah, it was a lot. I remember. Yes. Like on the street. You can buy an enterprise runner car.

Really? Is it that kind of thing? Right. Pre-owned. I wonder if you can buy a lime. Well, potato salad. Okay. Oh, wait. So you could then hook it up to like your square device. and put it outside and make the profits. Oh, they were just like going to the vending machine.

Oh, I created a small business. They were like, welcome to the franchisee family. Yeah, you know Gronk now. He owns the live scooter all through the southeast. Does he really? They knew that you had a deadby roommate who didn't pay any bills. I was like, yeah, that makes sense. That's how he gets his money.

You could have told me almost anything about Gronk. I mean, honestly. I like it with mayonnaise or mustard. Potato salad's your pick. But potato salad, I like what you're doing. I know, I think it's a great thing. I think potato salad is a strong pick, especially if the goal is to fuck Sean Jordan. Yeah, that is the whole goal.

I don't like celery or onions in my potato salad. Well, you're a good friend. So cut that too. Okay. Maybe that wasn't the best jokes. I don't know the best jokes anymore. I don't know the best jokes anymore. I'm radicalized from my goddamn algorithm. You got to get off the pixels, man.

You guys don't want I'm looking at day to day? Tell your export page to the camera real quick. You don't like onions and you don't like... I don't like celery. I don't like celery. I don't like celery. Salary is nothing. So my thing is celery.

You can do nothing for me but fuck off. It's truly, I mean, it's empty calories. It's just, it's nothing. It's not empty calories because it's less than zero calories. It's literally just a negative calorie. It burns more calories than it gives me. Yeah, yeah. It's literally just.

a texture thing. I don't believe you. You're not the only one who can cross his legs. I can do it tighter. My dick is so much smaller. So I, whenever I crunch into celery, I always think it's an onion.

So that's why I don't like the celery. So you hate onions. Can't stand onions. Oh, so it's celery's fault, you're stupid? Sorry, Ian just said something very condescending and mean. I asked the question.

I'm looking at the apple. I can see it. That's how I know. If I'm in potato salad and I eat and I hit some celery, I'm like, is that an onion? I thought you mean like you eat a celery there and you're like, is this an onion? Didn't you just say I was smart? I do think you're smart. That doesn't.

I do understand what you're saying, though. Within a potato salad, a salad that already has maybe more texture than the other ones have. Yeah. It is a lot to have celery. And I do agree with it. Do you ever, have you ever had one? If I could say the bits before I started laughing at him, I was going to say, have you ever had one with French fries in it, and it would have been

a lot funnier if I could keep a straight face. No, that's a baby laugh. That's very... It would have been cool. Potato salad with French fries? Or whole potatoes? Hold the salad? Well, no, there are, like, a German potato salad has, like, big chunks of potato and it's, like, a vinegar base. Like, home fry. Listen. Like, big chunks. Like, so there's one thing I'm going over there for.

It's not goddamn potato salad. I'll tell you that. What is it? Is it Frotwurst? Sausage. Leederhosen? Fascism. But it's a... We have that right here.

We have that right here. We have that right here. We got fascism at home. Not in this studio. We don't. No, I hear that Berlin has a vibrant nightlife. Yeah.

And I think they have... I do hear amazing things about Berlin. Yeah, they have open minds about the human sexuality. I heard that too. Listen, guys, I know it's popular on podcasts. I'm sorry I voted for him. This is not what I voted for. Can I just say that?

Yeah. Yeah. You're talking about Ross. Perrault. Old stuff. We're bringing up old stuff. I'm sorry I'm going to for him too. I'm talking about Ruben Stuttered.

I'm not. That one, Stan. Honestly, I do think Ruben... I backed the big. He's not of Kelly Clarkson is the most deserving

American Idol we've ever had. She still kills it, dude. Was that her versus Rubin Stuttered? No, she was the first one. Her Justin Guarini. I think Kelly Clarks is no doubt about the most talented person. isn't ever one of them.

Carrie Underwood's pretty goddamn talented too. She is, but I, you know, there's something unholy about her face. Yeah.

She's a, definitely. She got a car accident, right? What? What? No, because Jesus took the wheel.

Jesus was so drunk when he took the wheel. Yeah. Man, if she really did, you got to take this out, too, I was like, if she really didn't get a car accident, I can't be.

I don't think she's got to do a car accident. I think you are confusing it when Jesus take the wheel. She kills a lot of guys in their music. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Which is hot. She's still very talented.

She suffered a fall in 2017. That's fine. Is she the one? I suck her to fall from another car? Is she the one who dug her keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four-wheel drive? Carved her name into his leather seats. Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights. Slashed a hole in all four tires.

Maybe, and we're all hoping, maybe next time, he will think before he cheats. Dude, I was just telling my girlfriend about this the other day. Dog, cheating sounds so awesome. music. Yeah. You're telling a lot of like not in comedy at all. Even the bad,

cheating. You know what? You know what? I don't want to cheat on that. I'm not going to. I love my woman. But like, God damn.

Usher makes that shit sound tight. I think it's because he's consumed by cheating. Usher's the cheat. Usher can't stop cheating. Yeah. He like, it's truly his number one love.

Yeah. Oh, you're talking about confessions. Yeah. But anybody, though. Hold on. Hold on. Even when it's like. bad. And they're like, I feel so bad about having done it. Hold on. There's my way cheating or

confessions cheating. Because one of them, he's cheated on. The other one, he's the cheatee, right? Like in my way, he's, your girl can't get enough of me. That sounds sexy. The cheatee. Where you're the other guy. The cheater. The cheater sounds like a bummer. I've literally never listened to an usher song and thought I was ushered. I see a fundamental difference between me and you. Yeah, and that's fine. Five bank accounts, three ounces and two vehicles? That's the difference between you and you. I've, I've, I've, you know. I've, Closed a couple accounts.

That's the best joke that you've ever told on this fucking podcast. That was amazing. They're not going to get it. But, God, some of them will. So that Ebenezer Scrooge and Sexy Cantai. Those were all three really good jokes from the three, like, really good jokes so far. They're all like real good. It's great.

If those would have been on Colbert, still be on the air. There you go. But seriously, though, cheating sounds awesome. They do, like, even when they feel so bad about it in the song, you know what I feel is the same way about? Killing guys? Killing guys, dude. Killing black guys?

Killing black guys? That's the tough thing about rap music. Because I listen to it a lot. I guess I never, you know, I just, damn. I listen to backpack rap where it's just beating them in battles on the subway. Shut the fuck up. All right, sorry. Everybody hates that.

I paint all of their crimes onto white faces. I just take the activity and put it on my community. Yeah, you just have to picture. Yeah, you have to picture yourself in these songs. So when you guys listen to Get Rich or Die Trying. Yeah. I'm 50 Cent. It's other 40-year-old Jewish guys. Like when you listen to Heat.

Yeah. Keep thinking I'm candy till you fucking school get popped and your brains hop out the top like jack in the box. Yeah. I never knew that was about killing someone. If I'm reading anything, if I'm reading or listening to anything, I'm always picturing myself in these roles. When 50 cents says don't think you're safe because you must. moved out the hood. Yeah.

And your mom is still around, dog, and that ain't good. Yeah. I'm right back in my Bushwick apartment. I, Beaverton is the hood. Hood is short for neighborhood. Yeah, I'm like, this is my life. That's cool. I like that.

When I hear shake your tail feather, I'm picturing Jenny Slate. Wow. You know what? I have been thinking about this recently. I do think about killing people too often in a way that worries. In traffic or what? Is it Ian's? dog i don't even drive i think i just be like i just like i don't even drive like i'll be

like i'll fucking kill that guy you brought it up early yeah yeah i in my head in my head in my head i'll be like i'll fucking kill you i'll kill you i'll kill that and then like i'll say it to my girl and then it sounds so agro when you say it out loud yeah you gotta say it on the like like we're now we're just at the bagel place yeah and they were slow on the bagels and i'll be like, I'll fucking kill that. Well, that, and then she's like... It shouldn't take a long time in a bagel place. I don't know if you should be killed.

A lot of ingredients is all I'm saying. Well, in everything bagel, that's a few more. You know what's wild? You know what's wild? You know what's wild, dude? It's the same price. All right, let me squeeze it. It's out of practice, dude. Oh, your body is good, bro.

It's bad. My body's bad. You got a good body. I'm for my first pet. Yeah, this podcast is so much different in person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't it good? It's always been the best in person. Can't squeeze your arm through Zoom.

I really do keep thinking about those. Will you really send me the link for the hat? Of course. That's like the fifth time you've asked. I keep looking at it and I'm like, yeah, I really want it. Shit. Taco salad. In the bowl.

Incredible. In the bowl, baby. It's because, and forgive me for repeating. Oh, you're going to do it. One of my old stand-up jokes, but what I imagine was a lot of people's stand-up jokes. Slow-mo pudding tits. Slow-mo pudding tips. Hamhawk.

Better put some butter on it. I was going to say it. I'm a 350. Moulton cheese roiling into moat inside an infernal prison of grass-fed ground beef underneath which lurks and all me of sautated onions. Shaquille O'Neill was just down. He was just a guy. He would have just, thank God, I love basketball. You know who loves basketball even more.

We watched your Conan last night. Oh, no. David and I went. We got drunk in a lot. watched everybody's Conan. Yeah, we did. That's a fun night. Yeah, it was fun.

I was holding the mic like the Cripkeeper. Shane was like this. He was. He looks so young, baby-faced Shane. Everybody looks like a baby. I was hot. We didn't know you're going to be the guest yet. Oh, sorry.

Taco is the biggest possible taco. That's all of this. It is. It was on my list. It's a perfect pick. It's a perfect pick. It's a perfect salad. Can I say, by the way?

That's a good thigh muscle. I know that. Yeah. I know it. Thank you. I see you. Thank you. Yeah. Listen.

I flexed. After he complimented you, I did start flexing my thigh. You kind of have to do it. It's mentioned. Like, I'm like, when he did the arm, I like started holding it harder. Yeah. I thought I'd get some of this. You know what it is?

I'm realizing as I'm losing weight, it's the fat guy progression. Yeah. It starts with the calf. It starts with the calf. Like, I lost a bunch of weight in high school. And I started petitioning for best legs. Yeah, how about these? That's all I want to

When I was in high school I think we're probably the same age They had best body Oh, best body was a big one And they had best lips. I'm not kidding, best lips. It is crazy. We had huge as tits.

You know the teachers, one in one teacher was like, can we just call it what it is? Wetest Ditt. Sean Jordan, you've been nominated for Wetest Ditt. Congratulations. Yeah, I have. They tell you a singing telegram.

The school all voted and made their picks Sean Jordan you're nominated for wettest dick I got two dicks dude You know I got best most improved senior That's no Because you were a senior twice Listen Yeah that's the worst

They did it It's like the worst subprudity Right they did it one time I was in ad room and they're like hey Mr. Sorensen he goes you have an academic achievement award And I go that can't be true There's no way And so he's like, you do.

So it was a pep rally. And they had most improved for each. So like freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. And they called me up. And they're like, you got the most approved senior award. And everybody started laughing. Everyone. Because it's like, of course, I did terrible when I'm a junior.

Now I'm taking study halls in senior year. And of course, I jumped up. I got huge just did. One time. No, but seriously, I got biggest dick. Yeah. No, I got best laugh. But I also, Class Clown, my Class Clown, he was like, he's a very successful comedian.

Yeah. Oh, he's a tight end, first and foremost. He's a successful tight end. I've heard he was on the Elizabeth Buffalo. Oh, wait, you? I'm going to fill a pillowcase with oranges and beat the shit out of it. Bing Crosby. Oh, see, I, I came in second of voting in Clats Clown, and the guy who got it was just like a white guy who wore like Martin Luther King shirts.

And I'm like, that's not comedy. It's so funny that you just said that Because me and my girlfriend Just went to the African American Arts Festival And we saw a white guy Waring an MLK shirt And he was so loud and proud And we were both like

I saw him walking up And my girl saw him walking up And like I didn't say anything And she didn't say anything And then I looked at her and I was like Was that crazy? And she was like that was crazy But then we were both at the same time like

I do respect it. What if it was an Isaiah Hartenstein situation? What? The basketball player, Isaiah Hardinstein, who was on the Knicks, looks so white. Not only looks white, looks like a Viking. Yeah. Black guy.

His dad's black. Red hair? Red hair. He calls himself bright skin. Give me a picture. I think I would suss it out. Give me a picture. I think I would suss it out. I could always suss it out. The point is, we both saw him. He was wearing the MLK shirt, but it was at the African-American arts festival and he had it tucked

in so he wanted us to see it and we were both like no yeah that's that's awesome no that's pride I would have sussed that you would have really in the interest of time

can I go museum give it to me close who's that that's Isaiah heartenstein oh I was looking at my salads bro closer break it David David

David goes to X tube let me the first time closer closer I think I would have sussed it because of tattoo and hair. Okay. He's got Zach Harper here. He's wavy in a way that I don't think.

I would have asked. I would ask. Yeah. We're at a party. Yeah. We're having a good time. Yeah. We're eating like crudite.

Yeah. I say, hey, what's your mom look like? There you go. It's pronounced crudite. What is the voice? Isn't that interesting? That was. Billy. David's Ray

size minute. The slope of his forehead. Can I ask you can go? I'd ask the measure his skull. Can I fug and go? I'm only an amateur phrenologist. You can fug and go, you print.

But his brow was pronounced. David, can I fug and go, bro? Can I fug and pick? I took taco salad, great pick. Time for my fug and picks. Go ahead. All your picks are off the board. Fuck you.

you, dude. Frigg you. I'm going to pick a fucking egg salad, dude. Okay. Big fan. Big fan. Are you? Are you?

Are you liking on a sandwich or you go and raw? Exiled sandwich. I mean, deviled eggs, obviously, that's egg salad. You know. Huh? Do I ever, no, I never have. Well, so when I say I did it myself, I'm lying, Laura really helped. But I did, she just, like, delegated me.

She held your hand as pretty hard. Go style, like, came around the back and, like, mashed up all the. We did have the Doobie Brothers Is it the Doobie Brothers? Oh man! The Doobie Brothers. Is it the Doobie Brothers? My mayonnaise. Everly brothers.

Have you guys watched that movie recently? No, but I watched that clip today. We tried to watch, we tried to watch Ghost the other day and then we just ended up fucking. Yeah, because you were in danger. What do you think happens? I used to have to make... That wasn't really going anywhere.

I used to have to make... I used to have to make it. at the cheese island in IV in Sioux Falls we used to have to make the like the savory salads I'll say egg salad for this particular case but we'd put on these like clear gloves up to our elbows and just

and it was like a bowl the size of the circumference of the table not as deep right and we'd get in and just five in the morning be doing this and I'm like people are going to buy this later it was so weird because you gotta open that ass up and climb in

yeah yeah you just had to spread it and spread that ass over let that coochie Breeze. Yeah, dude. I would say it. They played it, Hyvie. Exelant pick. Thanks a fucking lot, bro. Now, in the sake of time, I'll just go ahead and Go on to my next pick.

Now do a soft zoom on it. Can I go? Caesar salad. Oh, damn it. Like a Caesar salad. You do. You know what's interesting is because so I've found out recently that they're supposed to have anchovies in the, like a real one. I hate anchovies.

Like a Ninja Turtlewood? They hate an anchovies. They love skateboarding. They love skateboarding. And I'm nice with the chucks. Laura's got red hair? I mean, none of them actually got down with April O'Neill. They all fucked April.

I can show you some videos on the internet. It's just a turtlene woman. Caesar salad. Caesar salad. Lois and Peter are getting too many downloads. I'm going to show you Michael Angelina. Oh, I thought you were going to show me Ninja Turtle Port. No, no.

No, I don't know how you would do that. That's disgusting. This is... Yeah, uh, Caesar salad. I love it. Come on, and that's also a... That's a first-round pick at a second-round bargain. I think so.

Because what's a tradition? It's like, uh, it's like the parmesan... Well, anchovie. Parmesan, well, get those out of there, but... No, it's in the dress. I don't... Okay, what's a sub-tradish seeds? It is, it is, it is like tradition.

It's egg, it's egg yolk? I don't mind. What if I... If I chopped your throat. what's coming in to you? Why so violent? What's coming to you? What if I fuck your wife? Oh, David, boy.

Yeah, so like the dressing, the Parmesan cheese, the, the, the, like, the croutes? Crumbly, no, come on, what am I think? Not blue cheese. It's like the feta? Prochishan. It's just Parmesan. Oh, that's right. It's not Parmesan sprinkles, though. It's like the flat squares.

Are you thinking about the one that we got? You can get big, like, flakes. Or you can get little sprinkle. Are you talking about the one we got at literally Ian's Bachelor Party? David, you know, I don't remember any part of that. I do. I don't think you do. Right, that's what I'm saying.

We are right. Anyway, Caesar salad. Sherlock Homer. Normally when you do something goofy like that, I say you look cool. You don't look cool. Yeah, Caesar salad. Great pet. Great bet.

Thanks, bud. But it's anchovies, dude. That's amazing. I like that you picked anchovies. You just eat an anchovies. You're going to, yeah, you're going to think anchovies are gross, but anchovies fucking rule. And as you get older, it really, but I hate seafood. When you get a pizza and they parse them outright, if they parse them out right on a pizza, it's amazing.

Don't they still look like fish? Aren't they fish? They do, but you don't have to think about where they came from. And they're chopped up in a Caesar. You've had anchovy. If you've had a lot of Caesar salads, you have probably had. I wouldn't say I've had a lot. I've had enough to say I can pick it in the salads draft

I wouldn't say I've had a lot I do get it when let me cut you off I do get it when it's like the ready-made salads for the stop it Can I say that's one of my favorite bitch Isn't it fun? It's so funny when he says let me cut you off Let me stop you right there To go back to the taco salad

The dressing is sour cream Can't beat that That can't be bad No, taco salad never loses. You should have put that in the bits six years ago. Tostata. Longer. Way longer.

Honestly. Six years ago was 2019. Not to go back to Taco Salo completely, but the idea that you could eat the bowl is so appealing to me. I love that. I love a clam chattered. You can eat any bowl. You got to go to the dentist after a lot of the bowls. Oh.

Laura! I'm making a point. Cob salad Classic So walk me through a cob real quick I will sashet you through

a cob salad Hard boiled egg Bacon In Bro In Diced tomatoes Uh uh

Chicken In Back in And then lettuce Yeah And then blue cheese Crumbles Get those tomatoes

It's like basically a club sandwich on a salad It's a club sandwich on a salad Yeah you can't lose It is Fantastic It's one of L.A.'s greatest entries into the culinary world. L.A. did that?

Brown Derby? Brown Derby, right on Los Feliz. That's where the Cobb Salon came from. Yep, right there. Hey, man, though, for real, are you going to send me that link? I'm going to send you that link. I promise you.

Mission number six. Isaac's probably sent you the link already. I don't have access to this link. No, I've been checking my shit. It's not on the internet anymore. No, I am trying to distance myself from the internet. He's got a computer. up and he's reading a playboy.

I've been walking my dog without my phone recently and it's been so freeing. Bro, I stay walking at hole without a phone. Dude, it's the best. How do you just be out here? How do you count your steps? I got an abacus

that he brings with him. One. Oh, that's like saying you don't watch TV but you watch Netflix on your computer. No, it's not. I just said it was. I'm older than you. I am the oldest person in the

fucking room. I'm the oldest person in this fucking room, bro. Maybe in this building. Oh, shorthy, you're my angel. I just said it. You're my darling angel scoop. I just said it was. That's so funny, man. Oh, jeez. Cobb salad. It's just

fucking great. It's great. It's a classic and it's honestly, I feel like it's the most American. One of the most American salads we could possibly have because you just throw some fucking bacon in there. Just throw some fucking bacon on that. I make one where I fry the chicken in the bacon fat.

Oh. Or I guess grill it, but it's like, so good. Does this ever happen with you? If I'm making a salad at home, that bitch getting nasty. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm about to bust it open for Drake. It's wet.

I just, I get lettuce and dressing. I'm so pedestrian. This is how I am, too. And my wife wanted me to say that I, if I get a salad, I eat all of the greens and vegetables first and then I eat the protein alone. And I scoop it up. I make sure it's swimming in a little sea. I'm gross, I'm gross too.

I don't even, if I order a salad from a restaurant, I don't particularly like salad dressing. Me neither. I'm a vinaigarette guy. I don't even like, I like, he's saying dry though. You're dry salad? I go dry too. That might be a fat guy, I think.

Yeah. You think it's a fat guy, I think? I wonder, because you're like. Or it could be a little dick thing. We'll take it out. We'll take it out right now. Vinegaret is a new thing for me. Can't release so.

It'll take it out right now. This whole room go dark. All right. So now we should all do a shot of us sitting back down, zipping up. All right. That was crazy. That was nuts. Wow.

All the exact same size. I would have never got that. Time for first place. Four way a tie in the actual dick contest. Whoa. Hold on. Sorry, Isaac. There's no way to make these on the rails.

It just won't happen ever. No, it started off the rails. It started with sucking dicks. Mutual fallacious is how it started. Oh, Isaac, cut that out. Futual Malaysia. David, time for your second pick. No, already?

Holy cow. Mixed green salad when you're smoking weed. I'm fine with it. Oh, is that like a lot of different kinds of weed? Like multiple people bringing in. Oh, I never heard a call that. Oh, man. Really?

I've never... That was like the Grinch's heart getting bigger from my mind right there. That's incredible. I don't know what you mean. You know when the Grinch's heart expands? Yeah, I grew three sizes because he learned

the Christmas cheer. I've never even thought about that. Mixing together... No. No. Called it a house party. It would be like we all had got weed and then we're smoke like a blunt.

Then we call it a mixed cream salad. No, that rules. Oh, that's fucking love that. It is. It's the best. It's the best. We never came up with a name for it. Oh, it's the best. It's so fun.

And then you kind of feel like, because then it's sometimes it's like somebody's got, because like, you know when you got great weed? And you're like, I'm not trying to get all these guys. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, I'm just throwing a little. Sean, you weed gun? Yeah. More recently, yeah, I'm

very into it. But you were when you were a kid. I was into it a lot in high school. Do you think they have an orange one of that hat? I do. I do think they might. Okay. I don't be able to fuck around in the link. I don't know if the fabric would look as good in a Mets orange. Yeah, I think you

want the cream, man. What I'm worried is that I want a blue one. Well, that's all right. With cream, with cream letters. What I'm worried is I literally want your hat. Sean, you probably get out of it. This hat is the best thing I've ever bought. I've never It is a good thigh muscle.

It's very defined right here that the lights are hitting it. It's all I can think about. Can I pick a thigh muscle salad? No. Cool Guys and hats That's all you got for me Listen I'll take it

And shirt that I got Yeah we have I have that hoodie Honestly I feel like we have a very And I'm craving This Nordique jersey And I think your glasses Are cool as fuck

Listen we We should just trade clothes Before we leave We should drink clothes I bet you both look cool I think we would Be cool guys Yes

Separate Yes But the same Cool guys Don't say I think we'd be cool guys It sounds like a Scandinavian guy thing to say

I think we would be cool guy Yeah I think we would be cool guys Too wild and crazy guys We love big American breasts Hell we should go to Harlem I think we would be cool guys Hello

I would like a beer drinking in a sandwich Every conversation I hear between my brother and his friends Hold on Let me just have done that And let you just fuck it up Let me just have done that and we'll call it a game Wait, what are we this? Where is that guy from?

Can you do the voice again? Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy. We're fucking Lithuanian cookie monster? Hello, I'd like a beer drink. Give it to me that food. When I had to explain to my daughter what my job is. It's going to be interesting.

Well, she'll be able to listen. Now I'll be able to listen. O'Connor, time of your second and third picks. This is best day of my week. You just did mixed green weed. Oh, and that's my... Yeah. He doesn't do double. I do double. You do double. You know what? I'm going to pick the salad that's the fun as to say.

Tudaniswa. I don't want to know what that is. What is it? It's like a French salad. It has tuna in it. I always see it on the menu. I don't think I've ever eaten it. Tuna in a block or tuna crumbled? It's not tuna salad tuna. Yeah, it's like sliced tuna. Well, that's what I was just going to say.

Sliced tuna is classy. If you ever have tuna and it's crumbled, that's where it sucks. Can I try to spell it? Yeah. Say it again. T-U-N-A. Is it N-O-I? No.

No. It's French. It's French. It's weird. It doesn't. It's N-I and then a fucked up, C. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then, O-I-S-E. Oh, so, I mean, okay. So the O was C. Okay, it would look like, if you were doing it, like, American style, it'd be like, tuna, Niquas. Yeah, Niquas. But it's Tudan Nisois. I can't, I can't, I'm trying to.

You know what it kind of is? Niswap. It's kind of a French Cobb salad a little bit. It is. Because it's got the, it's got, you've got eggs in there. David, you're going to be bummed, but Ian's looking at that hat right now. I bought them all. I'm going to fucking kill you.

Yeah, they're out. Now, if you want one, you got to come to the source. Ian's a big Bezos guy. You don't think I bought off internet hats from Jewish dudes in suburbs? Yes, I do live in a suburb. I live in a village. I live in a village. It's across the river.

You have to cross the river to get there from. from... From Los Angeles property. I'm in L.A. City. That is true. Yeah. City of Los Angeles. Yeah. It's true. See, I live in Glendale. It's own city.

That's its own city. I also live in Glendale for quite some time. I squatted in Glendale. I live in... Talks of some shithead and let me live with them. Hell yeah. Pico Robertson. Yeah, just got a new place.

I love it. Oh, you're over near Beverly Hills, they call it. Across the street. It's great. I love Pico Robertson's your landlord. It sounds like it's a neighborhood that has two moms. Yeah. Tell you this, his landlord is not Pico Robinson.

My neighborhood went to Sarah Lawrence. His landlord might be Pico Rabinowitz. My neighborhood opens it. See, I don't think like that, but I get it. That area of L.A. is hardcore Orthodox Jew. My neighborhood opens it Lilith Fair. I thought we were doing lesbian stuff. I'd move on.

No, no, Jewish. It's a fair. Pico Roberts. I don't want to do that. I'll do it. No, I was just doing the hyphenated name sounds like lesbian. And I was just informing you about the neighborhood You can even just get me one at

a seven-a-half and I'll just Zell you if that works. Yeah, I'll get you on. Are you to zeal him? It's a mortgage payment though, because I do think it's the most important mission I've ever been put on. I'm really excited. I feel like if you're going to zel someone, it's got to be over like 300 bucks. It's named after the city of me. You know what? I'd be zelling my little brother. I'm going to get you a hat. I'll be zelling my little brother

all the time. Shut to my little brother also. My little brother was about to climb Kilimanjaro. Do you? Uh, yeah. I'm like two weeks. Do you, do you zeal it like it is when you're talking? You have a second, you have a third pick. I have a third pick and my third pick.

We should take a break too. We're going to take a break to cleanse ourselves of that. Do you want to zel the people that we'll be right back? We'll be right back. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Mac Weldon. You know how we feel about Mac Weldon. We're doing ads for Mac Weldon on the show just because we like it. I mean, we'll just talk about it right in the middle of it.

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only, varies by plan. That's hellofresh.com slash all fantasy 10 FM to get 10 free meals plus a free item for life. And we're big Oh my god We were laughing We had to stop down for 45 minutes Because we were laughing so hard at that Zeld job Yeah

I just got sexy can't I And I had to go to the hospital Sometimes I'll fucking pull the sword out And stab you with it dude I'm really dry With your rapier wit My rapier keen wit I'm so fagin because we went swimming today

Oh yeah We'll dive into the day With Jamel's on next week We'll talk about our day With my third pick, I'm picking my ferret salad of all time. The pork belly bombed me salad from Mendocino Farms. It's the greatest salad that ever existed. And if you are the CEO of Mendocino Farms, I'm sorry for the email that said I will kill you.

Just please bring it back. There's a lot of homicidal intent on this podcast today. Picking a Mendocino Farms salad is the most show business thing. That's why they call me. That is show business is Mendocino Farms for. lunch. Is that a grocery store? No. No. Mendo for you. It has sandwiches and

salads and it's a quick lunch for all your writers room needs. You send the PA out and they come back with four huge bags of salads and sandwiches. Some beleaguered writers assistant who went to Emerson and didn't think it was going to be like I'm humiliated to say this but I've never

been inside. Me either. Me either. I don't know what they sell. I don't know what they sell. Hundreds of times. I've been inside because I got addicted to the Israeli Kuskou salad. Those big Stop saying fixed.

What was her name? You met it. Excuse me. Where's that a really? Oh, yeah. The greatest side at Mendo. Oh my God.

It's so good. That's the only reason I've been inside, though. I will say this about Mendocino Farms. And this is coming from Mendocino Carms. Yeah.

Their famous Save Drake's Farm Salad. Too sweet. Too many dry cranberries. That's the thing. I don't fuck with a lot of their menus. But when I found the thing that I love, I was like ride or die with it. Like, it just sucks that I'll never taste it again.

I'm so mad about it. Yeah, you can make it. You can never get that first hit. Could you go off memory and make it? I guess I could get a pork belly bomb me and just scoop it out with my hand and then put it with some lettuce. Flop it on some lettuce. I don't want to do that. It'll never be the same, though.

No. I need a PA to go get it from me. You do. You need someone. Excuse me, Mr. Joshua. Where is it? You need someone who almost failed at a... You need someone who almost failed out of RISD.

RISD. And then their dad got him back in. I just need somebody the whole time they're going there going like, he's not even funny. Like, I write... Good stuff. By the way, that's how I feel like every writer's assistant has ever felt about me. So many of them are right. But it's also so many Ivy League, like, top of their class people who have to get lunch for a bunch of stand-up comedians.

Also, I got their job now. You're going to get it later right now. You have to give me that Arnold Palmer. They might not get it later. It's such a bummer, but you're 100% right because they also have like Conan visit them as seniors in college being like, You guys are the future that they're like... But also, their dads are a lot richer than mine are. Exactly.

You know what I mean? It was never a worry for you. This is too inside baseball. I don't want to go down this road. David, time for your third pick? Tabuli. Yeah, that's a good one. Classic.

So good. Had it on the list. I feel like just a pig here. What is tabooly? I don't know most of this stuff. It's that like Mediterranean salad. It's like chopped celery and mint. and chopped celery.

A little like a grain. We're not a lot, no lettuce. There's no lettuce, right? There's no lettuce. Yeah, there's no lettuce. It's very vibrant and like, I know what you're talking about. Yeah.

It's like parsley based. Summer in a bowl. It's a juicy as salad. It, oh, chunks of cheese. Okay, I get it. Does it have the bigger chunks of cheese? I thought you said G, J-E-W-C-Y. Oh, no, no, like juicy at.

Juicy. Juicy, little juicy. Like, like that. Little juicy. is opening for a little dicky right now. A little juicy vert. Tabuli hurts my mouth.

Tiny little stadium. Really? Yeah. It's weird. It hurts your neck? My mouth. Your mouth. Like pineapple too.

I have a sensitive mouth. Too much pineapple. So I went to Hawaii and I ate a bunch of white pineapple. Yeah. And that shit fucked my mouth. Hey, how are you? Mahalo.

Hey, David. Mahalo, palmy. Hey, welcome to the islands. Malikiliki maka. We got some doo-du paper. in there if you need to take a poop, bud. Funny when a white guy does wife on this. Yeah.

I'm about some spam moosubi. Taboui, it's always delicious. Mediterranean people, they have the best food for hot days. Yeah? I mean, yeah, because every day's a hot day. That's what I'm saying. They figured out how to eat

when it's hot. It's great. I also think they're clothes. Oh, yeah. They're like, they have like that natural dresses like the sopranos where it's all comfort and like you look great and you're like

light fabric and air gets in there. I don't think they get the credit that they deserve for being actually the hottest people. Sexy. Yeah. Now we're in the Mediterranean and we're talking to here. Not Croatia, right? No. No, Croatia is pretty hot.

Croatia's the hottest. Yeah. Okay. Red face. No, he's right. Oh my God. Damn it. Is it red? It's red. It's red. But you're always red. You're Irish. It's okay.

There's no fun way to say. So is he? Look at that white face. Yeah, I know, but I don't go outside. You said you were swimming earlier. We were. Yeah. I've been a great day.

You look great. It doesn't mean anything to me. I appreciate it. That was a silence. I'm not going to think about my red face. We're talking, we're talking Macedonia? Like, who's the hottest? Eastern Mediterranean.

Fertile Crescent. Oh, the fertile crescent. Oh, the Fertile Crescentians. But I mean, like, let's not overlook, you know, the Greeks. I think Arabs. are the hottest in general. Have you seen... Not the hottest, but I think Arabs...

I don't think we really give credit to how hot Arabs are. And maybe that's because... Lord knows... Lord knows I try. That's the clip. You got the shortest clip. Hey, check my Googles.

You know what I mean? Let's talk about my red face for a few seconds. I'm not new to this. I'm true to this. I've been thinking that. Here's the clip. Good turn of phrase, David. I liked it.

I'm not new to this. I'm true to this. I made it up. Don't look it up. Do you love that Savage Garden song To Booley Madly Deeply? That's the clip. And they wonder why late night shows are going away.

And here's why. I don't like how long it took you to do that. Yeah. Because you're better than that. I googled it too. Yeah. Honestly, I like the work that went into it. I think we should applaud

that he took a few steps. If you Googled that, then why is it Bradley Cooper's lips that I'm looking at on a computer screen? The guy with a prolapse rectum. It's from Leonard, the Leonard Bernstein movie. Have you seen the trailer for The Odyssey? I did. Speaking of the Greeks.

This is the second time you brought this up to you. Yeah, bro, it looks really fun. It does. That's it. Nothing funny about it. It's not all funny. Time for my third pick. We're friends.

We're friends. We talk. With my third pick, I'm going to go, Capresi. Yeah. Barely a salad. What it is is a tomato, slice of a barata or mozzarella. And then a basil leaf.

what's not the white it's great honestly it just it's also one of those things that's like white it's a nice little it's like a kiss from a cheese yeah it's a kiss from a chew yeah baby like a kiss from a cheese on my mouth oh that's better did you ever tell us what he meant by that kiss from a rose no gray grave it's gray and i can i compare you to a kiss from the rose Kiss from a Rose on the grave, right? Ooh, the more I get of you, the... Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels. Yeah.

I can tell you so much you can say. Man, who knew we have the pipes, huh? It's the gray. It's not the grave. It's the gray? Yeah. Kissed from a rose on the gray. My pleasure, my pain, baby. To me, you're like a grown addiction, that I can't deny.

Did you have Kloom before that? Yes. He got her before that. The face thing? No, Heidi Kloom. Oh, no, no, after, after. Yeah, that gets a glue. Yeah, this was like, this was Seals, like, he had like a hit, but this was like his first

mega hit. That's what I like about Europe, you can get big and hot. Oh, yeah. I mean, you can get, you can get big and hot and be ugly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have it for ugly people here and it sucks. Well, Ed Sheeran got big here, but he's British. Yes.

So what's that? He got so big in Europe that he had to come to America. He had that right. And it's also, we give them the. leeway because we're used to it right we're used to us who's the ugliest Americans love hot people too much oh ugliest American pop star is going to be the

hardest because you have to be minimum a nine Cindy Lopper is gorgeous look up Cindy Lopper right now she's gorgeous eight years old I had the hot for her in the movie Mikey but like that's because she's sexy yeah but I don't think she's like hot no

who um well she's Hot. She's like 70. She's hot as hot as hell. She's probably not 70. Lionel Richie's hot as well. He's attractive. Yeah, and honestly, he's not handsome.

He's hot. Tuskegee's finest over there. Randy Travis, does he count? I'm going to cut. I'm going to get the shit out of you. Yeah, country stars are exempt from this. That's different. Yeah.

Because like, jelly roll. Yeah, jelly rolls probably the ugliest guy to ever have a number one. What do you mean that? God, Joe's handsome, though. No, he is. I think jelly rolls hotter than Cindy Lopper. What? Jelly rolls

probably in the world where he could come on this. Look at him side by side. Jelly roll's not bad looking actually. I think jelly roll is hotter than Cindy Lopper. Can I mean that? Can I go?

And I love Cindy Lopper. I'm not, it's not like a... No, no, you're not being like... No, no. Well, because also hot or not is not... For me personally, that's not like... That doesn't mean...

That's not a deal breaker. And what you're also saying is like there's no one else who looks like Cindy Lopper. So when you see her, you're not that impressed because she didn't make... another mini Cindy Lopper. Brother, when the phone rings

in the middle of the night, I'm picking out. Is it Bruno, Bruno Mars? He's hot. Oh, he's hot as shit. Yeah, he's a sexy, sexy. He's sexy. Oh, he's sexy. I mean, Clay Aiken?

He's Filipino. They only go good or bad. Listen, we're only going to be talking about hot people when we're talking about pop stars. So, like, we're having to find who's the ugliest of the hot. The hot. Like, it's like somebody who you would say is an 8.9. Yeah.

Taylor Dane freaks me out. Taylor Dane I think she did some work on her face But her in the 80s I Tell it to my heart Taylor Dane freaks me out Oh really

I kind of like that she looks like Mufaso It's just an intensity That I'm not comfortable I think I think it's just like To me when I see a woman like that I'm like you are so

Confident and in your prouress that I would I'd bust just from talking to Yeah you're like Tell me is this love over just a game. Hit us up in the comments with the ugliest American pop star

because we don't fucking know. It's probably like Ringo or some shit. We're British. Yeah, British. Oh, damn. All right. All right, Sean, you're a third and fourth picks. Third, I'm going to go

The Big Salad from Seinfeld. Can I do it? Yeah, I guess it. Yeah, it's a garden salad. Yeah, garden salad. All right, I'll take the garden. But I want that specific one, but sure, the Garden salad.

You think that's a garden salad? I think it was probably a garden salad. I just like the Big Salad. I don't know what the Big Salad. I like a big salad. I like a big salad. With not too much accrued. My problem with ordering salads at restaurants a lot is that, like, they do enough to make it an entree.

Yeah. Now it's like, I might as well. You know what I mean? I'm getting a salad because I don't want an entree. So when they do so much, you're like, fuck, bro. My thing is, I don't like when they put the topping, they're too proud of the toppings and they don't mix the salad. So they, like, leave it to you to do it? Well, that'll go right into my next pick, honestly, is the buffalo chicken salad.

Okay, yeah Fire on the mountain. Buffalo chicken salad. I mean, you can find it. Most wing places, but it's like the taco salad where you're like, okay, so buffalo wings with, you know.

You can't eat the ball, my man. I'm sorry. No, I use the whole buffalo. Can we just be intellectually honest? It's given to me to Buffalo stars. You don't eat it out of a hunk of blue cheese. It's not a carved hunk of blue cheese. Although, there's an idea.

That's an idea. If they gave it to, to me in a block of hollowed out blue cheese or the count. Now we're talking. Now we're, that would hurt your mouth because you're weak. Mine can handle pineapple and touch. Got him. I haven't called him a pineapple mouth from way back.

He was, I caught David whispering that to me last night when I was fake sleeping. Yeah, Buffalo Chicken salad. Like, you ordered the salad at Fire on the Mountain and it comes with like, just four buffalo chicken tenders on it and you're like, okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Listen, you can't beat that. Honestly, anytime you can make a

valid, more like real food? Like, it's the better. Yeah. Hashtag winning. Guys got his finger on the pulse over here. Hey, listen, we're all still saying. Yeah, we're still saying. I'm sorry for, I'm sorry, I voted for the guy.

Underblood. Charlie Sheen. I'm still watching two guys, a girl and a pizza place. Ryan Reynolds, dude. I didn't know that. Yeah, that's old. You're talking about, um, yeah, Deadpool and. You're talking about the Charlie Sheen

What was it? Charlie Sheen, Ashin and Cochers show What was that? Two and a half men. That's what you're talking about. Yeah. Two guys are a girl in pizza place is Ryan Reynolds. Back in the day.

You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to watch that back in the day. No, she was Darmine Greg. Yeah. Oh, that was a good after school show. I love Darmine Greg. Darry and Greg is like something that you just can't make anymore because one, you don't make

sitcoms. But then also, two, it was a show about like the daughter of a hippie of hippies and a lawyer. What if they film up. And now that's like a lot of lawyers. Wait, was that noise again? Whoa. Zoin't! Man, you also couldn't make Just Shoot Me.

No. Which is the show I weirdly, as an 11-year-old black little boy, watch the shit out of it. That's the magazine one? Yeah, with David Spade. You could do, I mean, you know, you could do that. You could do a version of that now. Yeah, because fashion magazines still exist.

Yeah. That's like Emily and Paris is a little bit. I don't know what Matt I've been trying to think about this recently I don't know what Matt about You's about you. I'm not mad about you. They're just in love with each other? Yes. Yeah, I think it was just two people in love in New York

Was it a heat check? Was it like was it a Who Who's that director? Paul Thomas Anderson No, that famous sitcom director James Burroughs? Yeah, was it like a James Burroughs heat check Where he was like it's not even about anything? Because was it like a classic

Because Paul Reiser was a stand-up. Larry Charles. It was Larry Charles. We were talking about Larry Charles earlier today. Complicated man. Complicated man. Just read his book. How'd you like it?

I liked it. I'm going to buy it soon. Here's what I'll say. I buy it, not really. I really didn't like the first half. And then as soon as he starts failing a little, I fucking loved it. Really? Like, he wears failure well.

Yeah, I mean, it feels like his whole thing. Yeah. But at the beginning, it's like, yeah, so they wanted me to write. for Seinfeld so I did and I was like the only person Larry would talk to it's like, I'm boring. Yeah. And then like he gets into like working on Borat and stuff and it's like, hell yeah

this fucking rocks. That's exciting. So just really quick and then we'll move on. Here's the plot. It's newlyweds as they deal with everything from humorous daily minutia to major struggles. That's being married. Yeah, so Seinfeld but they're married. I deal with

minutia all the fucking time at home. Yeah, they have a dog that they talk to a lot. Murray. That was supposed to be back to back with Moesha. It was a show called Manusia. Manusia. Mnusia. That was actually starring Tyrese.

Chinese chicken salad. Fuck, yeah. That's a great one. You know, with the, so you got little mandarins in there, the little, like, segments. You've got the chicken in there. You've got whatever that lettuce is. And then you've got those little sticks, whatever those are, those crunchy little, like, wanton sticks. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I love. There's so many textures going on

in a Chinese chicken salad and it has a little something of everything. I feel like you get your five major food groups, even though that's apparently a fraud. But not when it comes to a Chinese chicken salad. Because sweets. Well, actually, you need to have a loaf of bread, a candy bar, a candy bar, an apple, some greens, and then you're good. It also makes me think of that smash mouth song. Hey, now you're a rock star get your game on. Go play. Chicken of Chinese. Fair naked ladies. Yeah, very neat. Very naked ladies. Chittity China, the Chinese chicken. You have a brain trick

and you have a drum stick. Can your brain stop ticking? They're from Canada. What are next five with the lights on? With L-O-A-son. I hope the smoking guys on this one. Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic. Like, Stinghamtankerick. Like Snickers guarantee to satisfy. If I had to pick two dudes who I thought knew every word. Yeah, that's a... It's a bummer.

That is literally... Out of all the people I know. That is what a white pineapple with you. And I know Canadians. John Dor doesn't know all those words. I think it's funny when you're mad. Nate Fernald had the greatest bit

that he tried to get on the late late show and then he just made it called Week Music. You remember this? Oh, it's the best. It's just all these like intros to songs. I might even have it. Yeah, it's like, you know, like smells like teen spirit where it's like

da-da-d-d-da-d-da-d-da-da-da-d-d-d-and-and-and-and-and-and-a and then when the Trumps go it's been I remember that I remember that yeah it's-bam there's a reason I mean

they have a lot of good songs do you think he thought he was going off when he wrote that that song rips like when he wrote it down like when he wrote it down oh they're in the studio do you think he was like this is about to go nuts

yes they were like oh that's bars dude? No, I think they had to sing it first. I think they didn't know until they sang it. And then they're like, yes, as soon as that hits, you're like, oh, this will be a hit. You know, Sailor Moon's got those boomer producer, what do you think? Do you think when they wrote it, they realized it was a hit or they had to perform it in studio?

And they're like, now it's a hit. I have no idea. Yeah, he doesn't know. And he's the kind of guy that laughs at a funeral. He's had it. Yeah. Way to be young about it, dude. I don't know the song very well, so I can't even project.

I'm sick of you. Don't worry, Isaac. You don't know the song very well? I, yeah, we're about to, let me, let me, let's take my word for work. Let's take my pick so we can be on two hours. You're a, you are a music head? Yeah. You love music?

Well, yes. I just produced my rap song. Yes and no. I mean, listen, here's the thing. The first like 15 years of my life, I only listened to Korean music. First of all. And then like Christian worship music. Okay.

Like DC talk. Did you start listening to music when you were zero? Did you listen to DC talk? To honkies and a Negro. Sing in a Negro. our song. Was that one of their songs? That's a D.C. Talk song?

You guys never seen that? No. It's the funniest clip of Arsenio Hall ever. Arsenio Hall says, I'll show it to you, but it's like, Arsenio like, hey, you guys are here on my show. Tell me a little bit about you.

And this black man who's clearly in the sunken place allowed this to happen. They're like, Arsenio's like, who are you guys? And they're like, we're just too. Akees and a Negro. Should that be how we intro A-F-E?

Oh, no. I can't do it, brother. I can't do it, brother. It's definitely not up to me and you. Not going to be able to do that one, brother. I got family out of life. I love to help you out, brother. I like to do favors, kid.

I got a whole other black podcast. You know what I can't. I can't. brother. I got a whole other black button. You know I love you. I'm not going to be able to put that in there on it. I love it, though.

Oh, is it my pick? Yeah. Oh, uh, Olive Garden. Oh, that's a never-ending salad. Yeah, whatever that is. Yeah. It's so good. It's greasy.

It is. It's greasy. I do like a dry salad, but I also love. Yeah. A slippy, sloppy wet ones. I don't like a lot of pre-mixed salad. Usually I'm pretty pissed when they pre-mix my salad. But the olive garden, they get me.

It's a slippery salad scoombe. I was thinking about prison stuff. Did you just say I was thinking about prison stuff? Pre-mixed salad. It's a salad tossing joke. Of course. There's something in the... I put it in the late-night blender.

You guys look at my... You guys can... There's all the pieces for a joke. Have fun at home and put it together. Connect a little bit of a hole. Maybe ask your son. Maybe ask your son to put it together. Yeah, why are you looking at me?

Is it my pick? No. It's O'Connman's pick. O'Connman is going to pick seaweed salad. Yo, and then I was going to go less. I fucking love seaweed salad. I love it. I get it at every Japanese restaurant.

It rules. And also, it's like one of the only foods that you could get it to be a little neon. Yeah. I love it so much. No, well, yeah, you're not going to eat. Are you afraid of the ocean? Yes. I don't like sea stuff.

I don't like seafood. Anything you can eat out of the ocean. I don't like it. What about sea walking? Easy. Lay up for me, dude. What are my? I love seaweed salad.

I think it's... I'm about it's kind of hard to bite through a little bit. I do. Like, it shouldn't be crunchy, but it's got to... Doesn't have that much give. Yeah. Yeah. That's two slippery salads in a row.

Yeah. And it's wet. And your final pick. And my final pick. Are we lighting this one? Yeah, well, I'll do lightning. You know what? For my fifth.

pick, the green Thai mango salad. Oh, yeah. Love that it's got a little bit of a spice to it. Love mango. That's great. Yeah. Love that like is it like, there's like a slaw to it. Yeah, there's a slaw.

Yeah. Love it. You don't like a sloth? No. No. So it's a lightning round until all of a sudden your emotions and feelings and opinions and a thing. Oh, you all know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

turn into Mark Norman. Salad. Salad. David, your final pick? Waldorf. Oh, yeah. Putting on the ritz. For my final pick,

I'm going to go with the crab louis. Hell yeah. I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that. That's a great big. Had one in Portland, Oregon just a few days ago. Jake's. Love a crab louis.

You know what Crabblewee is? If they ask it, I'm putting it. Absolutely. If I get a stake and they're like, would you like a Crabb Louie? I'm like, you know what? Go ahead through that crap. Hell yeah. Also, Crabb Louie does sound like an old jazz guy.

Absolutely. Which I feel like is really, we're into your new, your trajectory. Hey, for real, though, I just read, I think that we had unfollowed each other. I just refollowed you on Instagram, so. I'm going to send you the link. Okay, cool. Or like when Batman really hit someone hard. Crabluy.

Crabluy. Like, if I hate you three-fourths, be a crab-luy. That's good. Well, you got 100% for it to be crab-louy. Macaroni. Yeah. I can't believe it went that long. I can't either.

I was real happy to get a savory at the end. Yeah. I love macaroni salad. Aren't most salad savory? They're all savoury. Yeah, I don't think many of them are sweet. I don't really do. I don't love the way that, I don't love your energy.

When you said it, you know? I love your face when you said that. Two sweet salads. taken in this whole draft? Oh. Oh. Oh. If you're just listening.

We're lucky we didn't start this in 97 because he would have gone to Mad TV. Oh, for sure. They'd have got him. They'd have got him. Five sure. He'd have been the white Bobby Lee. To recap, oh, Isaac, you have a salad. I can't believe you guys didn't take it.

This is my favorite salad. Southwest. Yeah, that's a good salad. That's a good salad. That's a good as hell. To recap, the O'Con Man, you took, fruit salad, Niswa, pork belly bond me, seaweed salad, and the green

tamingo salad. David, you went second. You took the potato salad, the mixed green salad, weed, tabuli, olive garden salad, and the Waldorf. Oh, yeah. I went third. I took the taco salad, Cobb salad, Capraise, Chinese chicken salad, and crab lily. I feel great about my list.

Yeah, you did good. Sean, you went last. You took the egg salad, the Caesar salad, the big salad from Seinfeld, garden salad, the buffalo chicken salad, and the macaroni salad. I'd eat all those, baby. I would eat them all. We want to hear yours. We left some good ones on the board.

Larb, dude, Greek salad. Southwest, red Southwest. Sort of. He just took Southwest. Oh, man, I was busy thinking about Jamal. Sorry. It's okay. No, no, no.

You were, yeah. Been there. Chopped Italian. But we want to hear yours. Head us up at all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Shout to to everyone on the A-F-E-Patria. where you can find bonus episodes, mailbags,

auction drafts, this or that, all sorts of stuff. Shout to everyone on the AFV. Schallackety, the mega producer, Isaac Lee on the ones and twos. Doing it. Doing it.

Nipple City over there. Population fun, dude. Shout at to St. Sue Carmel. Shout to Frank Gill. Shot to sit in the dude. Shot to hot. It's more important than all that. Tune again next week to another

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