All Fantasy Everything - Samuel L. Jackson Movies (w/ Mike Mulloy, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: October 4, 2018

PODCASTS, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU LISTEN? Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians David Gborie and Sean Jordan and promising open mic hobbyist Mike Mulloy to draft Samuel L. Jackson movies. Support the show!Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodEpisode Guest:Enemy of the podcast Mike Mulloy @fakemikemulloy IG: @fakemikemulloyFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is getting mbucked tonight. Mbuck, mbuck, mbuck, mbuck. Buck Williams, dude, running down the baseline, catching a lob and slamming it home. Just one of those where like my whole body's out of bounds, but my feet are still in bounds. Yeah. For a hundred yards.

We're going to be buying cups of liquor from Vietnamese immigrants tonight. I'll tell you that for sure. Oh yeah, baby. For sure. I don't even know what kind of liquor. We're getting so bucked tonight that Mike Malloy has agreed to make an appearance at the Roost.

Yeah, dude. Snake blood. Wow, you had maybe had like two or three drinks last night. And I think Sean Jordan maybe finessed it out of you. Yeah. Sean was trying to get it out of me last night, too. He's like, no, come to the roost tonight. We came all the way to the Virgil to trick you into coming to the roost.

It was more, we were trying to get you to, it was the roost. What a poorly thought out plan. It's like if you, okay. What a fucking. It's like if you kill a hitchhiker, or if you break a window, but then you tell your parents you killed a hitchhiker, and then you're like, I didn't really, but I broke the window. They're like, oh, that's fine. So, same thing. Did that ever work for you?

Multiple times. Oh, really? I've killed a lot of people. Oh, again? Oh, wait, this is probably one of your ruses. This is a ruse ruse. It's a ruse ruse. I might have told this on here before, but one time I broke my friend's toilet handle.

I was trying to flush his toilet and I don't know how hard I tried to flush it, but I broke the handle and we're all at the dinner table. It was me and these two kids. I don't want to say the names. And then their parents and their parents sit down. They're like, all right, who broke the toilet handle? And I just sat there and they were both like, neither one of us did it. And they started yelling at each other.

And the parents are like, all right, check it out. You're both grounded until we figure out who did it and i go i did it and they're like oh great that's fine and then everything went on why don't you want to say their names killer story right yeah right it was a great cj and jacket good to get it i think it's important to get any well they didn't do it yeah the whole story was about how they didn't do it yeah yeah i'm glad you got that in towards the top of the podcast right away just make sure the most amount of people are listening you You gotta get the hook in. For stories like that. You gotta get the hook right in there.

Literally get thousands and thousands of people. Tens of thousands of people just heard that story. We have to... Brov. The hook is in. Brov. Uh-huh. The hook. Yo, brov, check it. Brov. That story was not proper mental. It wasn't mental. It was safe, brov. It was safe. Proper safe, brov.

Banger story, brov. Couple chavs. And by that, yeah. He's safe. Proper safe, bro. Banger story, bro. Couple of chavs. And by that, yeah. You didn't even say it with an accent. Yeah, I know. Couple of chavs. Chavs. Chavs.

Chavs. Chavs. Chavs on the estate. Sean S. Jordan there with a banger story. By the way, it's that kind of podcast. That kind of podcast. That's what podcasting is. Sean S. Jordan with that banger ass story.

There it is, dude. Probably got a couple more like it coming down the pipe for you. Hope you guys are in some traffic. You got some stories coming up. How long are these usually? 45 minutes? In the next 45 minutes? Yeah, 45.

What, the interest? No, the purpose. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. Seen a lot of those out there. A lot of them. It's getting thick. The influence

has never been clearer. A lot of those out there. Halloween. They're just around the corner. By the way, Halloween is right around the corner. It's getting thick. The influence has never been clearer. What a little lantern. Halloween. By the way, Halloween is right around the corner. Right around the corner. My friend Louis Weymouth is trying to get me to go to a reggae night on Halloween and I'm like I don't have the heart. That is a weird

move. It sounds fun but it's like Does it? Yeah but I'm like not. Does it sound fun on Halloween? No. I thought there was an idea of a Halloween party being bandied about. It's on a Wednesday is the only thing. Yeah. You got to commit to one weekend or the other. I think it's the weekend before.

I think it's before. It always feels weird after though, right? I think it's the weekend after. I like the weekend before. Oh, but it's November. Yeah. Yeah. That's November all of a sudden.

It's like you got to do it in October. Some other shit happening. Yeah. It's Thanksgiving month. Speaking of other shit happening, what do you got coming up? Where can people see you? 10,000 laughs probably when this is coming. I don't know.

Go to 10,000 laughs festival and watch us do stand up in Minneapolis, October 19th. Will the cops happen at this point? I'll be at Cobbs Comedy Club, October 4th, 5th, and 6th. That might be that Thursday. This comes out the 3rd, I think. Yeah, yeah. This comes out. So yeah.

Yeah. Then go there. Come see me and Kyle Kinane. We'll be there I think. Yeah, yeah. This comes out. So, yeah. Yeah. Then go there. Come see me and Kyle Kinane. We'll be there as well. Oh, buddy. Yeah, Kyle's also going to be there. No, I got bad guts, bud. How is...

He's eating pho. It looked like he was eating a big bowl of sriracha. Talking about, I got bad guts today. They're going to be worse. They are going to be worse. They're going to have badder guts. They got some good pho up there in San Francisco, though. Well, you're not going to eat like a king, but Kyle might.

You're going to eat a gas station hot dog because it's the only thing. Some of that backpack check. You're going to eat microwave Chef Boyardee chili. Irish. I've done it. Second week in a row. They don't know what to tip in two in one day. You Irish motherfucker.

You lace curtain. No, is that right? You lace curtain. What does that even mean? Like just your proper? I don't know, man. He said it in The Departed, and I always felt like it was probably some kind of racist thing. Man, they that right? You lace curtain. What does that even mean? Like just your proper? I don't know, man. He said it in The Departed and I always felt like

it was probably some kind of racist thing. Man, they say some stuff in The Departed. They say some shit. They say some stuff in The Departed. And then 10,000

last comedy festival, come fuck with us there. Yep. And that's it. That's all the pepperoni on the pizza, Lance. That's only two pieces of pepperoni.

Yeah, no olives though. No, God, no. Onions, get them out of here. No onions. Leave them in the fucking street. Leave them in the pizza shop. David Borey? Hey!

The G is silent? Oh! CoolGuyJokes87? Ha! Never changing it. What's up, witcher? What's up, witcher? What's up, witcher?

What's up, witcher? Never changing it. We have been eating donuts for, I want to say, four hours. I have donuts all over my person. I got like a donut. I need a shower for sure at some point. I'm sticky as shit. And not even because I'm not even gross.

I just need to have some membrane between how I am now and how I'm trying to be later. The reset, you know? Because right now I'm just so full of donuts. My head feels like it's floating three feet above my body. Definitely need to take the cartridge out and blow on it before I go out tonight. Maybe put some rubbing alcohol. Yeah, exactly. That's all I need.

Maybe a little Q-tip. Yeah, the rubbing alcohol. Don't touch it! Don't touch it! You're going to fuck up my game. Dude, this is why I don't like you coming over here. Mario Tennis. You're lucky our moms work together, dude.

We would not hang out. That's some real shit. You ever think about how weird it is now? Like, I was thinking about this. Like, when people have kids, sometimes their kids will get their parents into friendships just based on their friendships. Yeah. I'm afraid of that. No new friends.

No new friends. I don't want to have to be like, hey, Brian. Yeah. I don't want to hang out with this kid's buster-ass parents. No, this kid sucks. My kid has bad taste in friends.. I don't want to hang out with this kid's buster-ass parents. No, this kid sucks. My kid has bad taste in friends. Yeah, now I got to hang out with his fucking nerd dad. Farting into khakis on a plane, ass.

Oh, God. Fucking dad. I fart into whatever I'm wearing on a plane, I'll tell you that. Yeah, but it's not khakis. It's something particularly odious to me. Khakis suck. About those light tan khakis. Like the dockers. Yeah. Because dickies are still cool. Dick like light tan khakis. Like the dockers.

Yeah. Because dickies are still cool. Dickies are cool but yeah those dockers. Pleats. I just like know you're like farting coffee farts into them.

Because khakis is a choice. It's a choice. If you're wearing a suit on a plane you have business to conduct when you land probably. And if you're wearing you know what we would wear

on a plane you're fucking about comfort. But if you're wearing khakis it gets coffee at like 9pm like you need it when you land at like 9 p.m like you need it when you land or something yeah or like decaf coffee you drink decaf coffee that's a wild move crazy to me that is why i don't do all's ass coffee out of here because we fly a lot we're the two groups of people we're the competing factions we're comedians we fly a

lot we're all the time and then these business people fly a lot. We're these two different factions who fly a lot. We shouldn't meet as often as we do. No. It's the only arena where we do meet. We meet all the time. I'm always on the plane next to some business woman. Especially once you get to a certain

level on the credit card spending. You get the bump up to the first class. You can purchase it with your debit card too, like I do. They're like, you don't belong here. I know. You don't belong here. I'm up there in sweatshorts just having people try to figure it out. Yeah, the few times I've

flown first class, it's always been like, yeah, look at me. That's so tight when people look at me. Especially when I come in late to the line, and then everybody, I mean, Ian has a joke about it, but everybody's like, oh, God, big fat guy. Yep, yep, yep. I don't want to.

He's fucking late. He probably smells like some kind of fucking grilled meat. Yep. And then they call through. Smells like a linguiça. And then they say, sky, sky, sky priority. Yeah. And I walk past their bitch asses.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Yeah. I'm turning my headphones up. That way. What am I listening to? Gunplay, you bitch.

Bitch? I'm listening to motherfucking gunplay in first class. Yuck. Why don't you go back? Just doing the Heisman on him? Ha. I'll send a Heineken so you know I'm still living fresh up here, you piece of shit.

I fucking love it. Get out of my way, you fucking heavyset piece of shit. And I'm fat as fuck. But when I say heavyset, I just mean like a sturdy. That weird, that middle fat where you can't commit to either life. Right, exactly. Make a decision. Just pour it into some khakis with a fucking, at that point, just wear a suit.

How much more comfortable is a blue button-up tucked into khakis with those shitty fucking boat shit. Especially on a long flight. I'm going to fly in two months. If we're going to the East Coast... That's a different podcast now. If we're going to the East Coast, man, and you... Oh, I hate that.

What are you doing? We're going to Philly. Take that off. Exactly. Are we going to land in Philly dressed like that? Yeah, you fucking loser. We've been on a lot of planes. We've been on a lot of planes.

We're crashing from the donuts. David and I are upset. Yo, this is the ball. We're all like babies. We need to take a lot of planes. We've been on a lot of planes. We're crashing from the donuts. David and I are upset. Yo, this is the ball. We're like babies. We need to take a nap. Just frustrated. What do you got coming up, David? When this comes out, I don't really know what my October is, but I come to see Faded on

October 12th at the Blue Rooster. Y'all doing secret lineups? Yeah. So I could be on that show. Nobody knows. Nobody fucking knows. What's happening on Octoberall doing secret lineups? Yeah. So I could be on that show. Nobody knows. Nobody fucking knows. What's happening on October 12th? Who knows?

Yeah. That's the thing, too. Anybody. Because we're not telling you shit. Nobody knows anything. All you need to know is that your boys are going to be there, and it's going to be a rocking good time. You don't need to know shit.

A man by the name of Bill Smith. William Smith is now a comedian. It's crazy that he never had before. It is crazy. It's also annoying. He's going to be so good at it. No, you don't. You know how long it took us to be good at it?

I know. Have you seen anybody just be immediately good at it? He will be. We'll see. I saw Ian right away. We'll see. I personally don't think he's going to be. Then I got bad quick, but the first time. Yeah, I saw you in right away. We'll see. I personally don't think he's going to be. Then I got bad quick, but the first time.

Yeah, that's true. I got bad quick. I was good the first time. All I'm saying is that he's not going to be able to write these incredible jokes immediately. You ever heard him talk in real life? He talks like a fucking hippie. This took a weird turn. Maybe we are crashing for Madonna.

Maybe we are. Talking shit about... How did this happen? Inside Will Smith ranch? The least popular ranch of all time. Yeah, fuck Will Smith. Probably wearing khakis on an airplane. People just driving their cars into telephone poles like,

no, dude, I can't support this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the blood sugars talking. I love Will Smith. Shout out to the Fresh Prince. Since I'm not technically a part of the show, I can tell people, yes, Will Smith will be on it. I promise you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Didn't want to give it away. I promise you. The Fresh Prince himself, Will Smith, will be on Facebook. Yeah, just come and show up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, get there. Or he might back out. Line up something.

Yeah, he might. I mean, he's scheduling his, you know, traffic. Enemy of the podcast. There he is. Enemy of the fucking podcast himself. Been a minute. Yeah. Been a minute.

Been a minute. Fake Mike Malloy on Twitter. Fake Mike Malloy on Instagram. All platforms. On all platforms. Across platform. Mike Malloy's in the house, ladies and gentlemen. There he goes.

Yeah. It's wearing pink. Let's just paint the picture for you right now. White hat. Isn't it an on-deck hat? It sure is. It's an on-deck hat. By the way, they have on-deck merchandise.

On-deck, on-brand. Crisp white tee. Uh-huh. Pink. Pink Nike sweatshorts. Just looking crispy. A man of leisure. And then an Air Max.

An Air Max to match. You are a man of leisure in that you manage to wear shorts. And this is coming from a man who wears shorts in inappropriate situations. Yeah. You really manage, like, it's really weird how people don't give you more shit for that. What are they going to say? Sir put pants on, this is an olive bar. Fucking why are they concerned with my legs?

Mike, I didn't invite you to my wedding to wear shorts, maybe? My comfort does not affect theirs. I've always felt that. This is a business dinner. Wear your own pants, is what I'd say to them. Wear your own pants. How about this? How about you put on a second pair of pants?

Then there will be the amount of pants being worn. You need to fit your weird criteria. We'll get the fucking, the average up. If you're worried about the number of pants being worn in this establishment. Why don't you put another pair on? You could just bring pencils on everywhere with you. How about instead of putting pants on, I put a single pant on? Just one leg.

Would that fucking do it for you? I mean, yeah. Yeah, sure. We're surly today. Yeah. This is a little feisty. A little feisty in here. It's like this one's dark.

Yeah. It's because it literally got darker. It literally got darker. We're just going to turn all the lights off. And now it's a fight club. Yeah. That's what she's been hoping the whole time. Episode 101, she's going to pitch

the fight club. And she won't have to spend six hours of her Saturday in the studio. I keep stepping on loose teeth on the dark ground. Loose teeth on the dark ground. Do you move back to Portland and write books? Loose teeth on the dark ground. I'll go with you. What do you got coming up buddy So we got on deck on October 13th

Last one sold out Tickets are already about quarter of the way gone And we're three weeks out So if you want to come to that get your tickets now 10 bucks BYOB I'll probably be there Chilling out David mentioned it Faded Comedy

It's a show that we're starting. It's going to be every Friday. Ten bucks, BYOB, same situation, same spot is on deck. We're going to get turnt, we're going to get wild, and we're probably going to get pretty shit-faced after. So every Friday night, come through. There we go. We're taking over.

It's every Friday night. Every Friday night. The authentic, yeah, the authentic All Fantasy Everything experience. Like we talk about on here all the time. Getting fucked up after a comedy show on a Friday. Exactly. And young Toscani will be there as well. Oh, yeah.

Exactly. He's part of the operation. If you prefer to smoke herb. Yeah. He's going to be into his bongs. Oh, yeah. He'll be into his bongs for sure. He gets into his bongs.

He's a man who enjoys getting into his bongs. I've never seen someone clear one quicker. It's gnarly. Well, I mean, he's got that lung capacity, dude. He's out there. He gets into his bongs? He's a man who enjoys getting into his bongs. I've never seen someone clear one quicker. That's gnarly. Well, I mean, he's got that lung capacity, dude. He's out there. He's an athlete. He's sculpted.

He's so shredded. I am Ian Carmel. Yes, you are. At Ian Carmel on Twitter. At Ian Carmel on Instagram. At Ian Carmel on Jewish Open Table. Fuck with me on all the apps. Verify the cross platform.

I mean, come see us at the 10,000 Laughs Comedy Festival Please It's gonna be so fun Watch the Late Late Show With James Corden Yep Listen to All Fantasy Everything Hey

Keep doing what you're doing Yeah And we are gathered here In beautiful HeadGum Studios It's just In scenic downtown Los Angeles It's so close Where are we by?

So close It's just If someone was playing Like a Vienna violin sort of concerto. Like right before somebody dies in a mob movie. Right. Over on Skid Row. We could hear it here. Yeah, we'd hear it loud.

Yeah, we're pretty close. Just a crack rock's throw from Skid Row. From Skid Row, dude. I wonder how far you could throw one crack rock. Me or anyone? Probably not very far. That's what I'm dude. I wonder how far you could throw one crack rock. Me or anyone. Probably not very far. That's what I'm saying. They're so light.

Probably pretty light. Toscano would have you believe you could throw it 60 yards from his knees. Do you know this about Zach? He can throw a football 60 yards. Are you serious? That's what he says. I've never seen him do it. Well, you're aware of it.

He says I saw it. We ought to test that out. Yeah. 60 yards with accuracy? Oh, he's never mentioned accuracy Yeah, because like I haven't thrown a football in a while But back in the day I could probably hit 60

I bet now I could probably like 40 at the best You got long arms A 40 yard pass is a good pass 60 yards is We gotta We have to have a field day Oh, I'd love it have to have a field day. Yeah, let's take... Oh, I'd love it. We'll film a field day.

Oh, man. Can we play the Rocky theme? We can play the Rocky theme. I'll wear a bucket hat. You'll wear a bucket hat. Maybe a third person will wear a bucket hat. Maybe like a punt pass and kick. Yeah, punt pass and kick. Cornhole. I've talked about it. I think it'd be fun to have an adult field day like that. I'm down. The fuck was that?

Oh, my God. There's a bear in the studio. Is somebody here? All right, we're back. You may have heard that abrupt. I think you just leave it at the part where I said, what was that or whatever, you know? So what happened was we heard a noise downstairs. So you hear a lot of noises around the studio

because it's a bustling part of Los Angeles. And it sounded like something was like noise downstairs. You hear a lot of noises around the studio because it's a bustling part of Los Angeles. And it sounded like something was like right downstairs. Yeah, I thought. So we were like, what was that? And then Marissa stands up. Four dudes in here. Big dudes. Big dudes.

Four big dudes. Big dudes clearly about that action. Who are about that action? I mean, clearly not, actually. Not really, but yeah. I mean, Maloia and I... I just heard it again. Okay, there's a ghost in here! Seriously.

Okay, so now she's going to check again, and we're up here like hours. She's going to check again. Did she make a noise? It's happening again. It must be the door next door. Okay. What's happening? Halloween is... It's before.

Anyway, just like what just happened again. the door next door. Okay. That was nuts, dude. Halloween is run around the corner. It's run around the corner. Anyway, just like what just happened again. It happened twice! Is these four... Malloy's fight trained. What are we doing? We didn't even move

that time. I don't think... Malloy might be one of the scariest stand-up comedians fight-wise. It's probably Joe Rogan and then like...

No, Joe Rogan could kick the shit out of me. Yeah. I'm not... No disillusion. We're not talking about comedically. We're talking about physically. No, I'm talking... No, Joe Rogan could kick the shit out of me. Yeah. I have no disillusion. Well, we're not talking about comedically. We're talking about like physically. No, I'm talking...

Yeah, that's what I meant. No, I know. I'm kidding. I was snapping on you. Yeah, I know. It's what they said. Anyway, the four of us just sat here in our big fat fannies. Yeah.

Drinking. Drinking. Drinking alcohol. Drinking whiskey. I was going to say, the kid was not offered a whiskey. How dare you? Hey, you're always offered a whiskey. We just all got our own whiskey.

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought the kid was from Boston. Go fucking get yourself whiskey. How dare you? You're always offered a whiskey. We just all got our own whiskey. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought the kid was from Boston. Go fucking get yourself one. I'll go fix myself a cup in a minute. Have some wine. Yeah, have it neat. What were we talking about? Oh, so we just sat here.

Marissa ran right down, and we were just like, oh, she is not afraid. What the fuck is wrong with us? Oh, I don't know. Even as I was walking down the stairs, I was like, man, I don't want no smoke. Marissa's the alpha, for anyone listening. Everyone's wondering what the dynamic in here is. If you're from the East Coast, then you'll understand that we all just got sunned. And not with a U.

That we did. We each became Canadian citizens just now. We all have dual citizenship. Dual citizenship. Dual citizenship. We have dual citizenship. Dual citizenship. Dual citizenship. We have dual citizenship. Dual citizenship. Dual citizenship.

I've never heard you do the drunk person voice before. Dual citizenship. Do you know what the key to acting drunk is? No. What? It's like people go over the top with it. They're like, I'm sloppy drunk. Yeah.

But when you're drunk, you're trying so hard to talk normal. Yes. So what you really want to do to act drunk is to try to act as normal as possible. You do. Right? You want to be super clear. Yeah, I'm fine. With what you're saying.

Yeah. I don't even, I don't even, it's not even hot out. I love. I thought it was, I don't even, it's not even hot out. I love. I thought it was going to be hotter today. I love McDonald's. I love it. A chicken sandwich from McDonald's, dude? Can we go to McDonald's and get a 20 McNugget?

You know how I know when Sean's faded? He puts one hand on his stomach and he makes a declaration with the other hand. He goes, I tell you what, I am faded. I'm going home. And then I can show up in the bathroom an hour later. Yeah, then you come back. I know we talked about it on the last episode, but yeah. Fucking, oh, we didn't tell you this.

Sean, dude. So we went to the roost. Sean, dude. Sean, dude. We met up with Bori. Amy was there. Johan was there. Me and Johan left that dinner party as well.

Yeah, you left that dinner party. What was that dinner party, by the way? It was just everybody miles from the bay just had a dinner party. Waited some pizzas. Sean was like, hey. Sean was like nodding off, kind of like. It had been a long day. Trying to send us messages in Morse code with his blinks.

Call me an Uber. So he got up to leave. And then like he left. And a half an hour later, I went to the bathroom. And Sean walks in. I'm like, what? Anyway. I left the double entrance.

It was just a beautiful surprise. Also, by the way, because we got there kind of late, that door guy talked to me for the first time ever. That guy? He was like, we were like, Amy said he lost some weight, and he was like, I'm still 200. And then, like, when me and Sean were out, he's like, are you guys leaving?

Are you coming back? He, like, wants to know how we're doing. He looks like a Vietnamese version of the guy from No Country for Old Men. Yes, he does. 100%. He does. If you go to the Roost, you know exactly who we're talking about. He's also got a cattle prod. Yeah. Vietnamese Anton

Sugar. Javier Vietnam. It's under that... Alright. Instead of Bardem, Vietnam. I know they don't sound the same. I apologize. Sorry, everyone. What are we drafting today? Nothing, dude. We're just here. Sorry, Marissa. Oh, no. Right here.

That's two episodes. I'm sorry. That's dual wet burp episodes. Oh, my God. That was not as wet as the last week. But definitely still a sneeze guard splatterbark. I'm not going to let anyone forget that that's the best name ever. Marissa, I'm so sorry for burping right here.

I apologize. Sneeze guard splatterbark. It's such a funny name. My name is Sneeze Guard Splatterbar. We're gathered here in the HeadGum Studios to draft a Samuel L. Jackson movie. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It was a-

Samuel Licorice Jackson. Samuel LeBron James Jackson. He knew. His parents knew. I believe this was a continent discovered drunkenly last night. Didn't we land upon this idea? Yeah, at like 11 probably or whatever. Good fucking idea, though.

Who doesn't love it? Yeah. We needed something that could happen quick. Yeah, that could be any. An idea that could get researched quick. A smooth one. Because we were already hammered, and we knew the morning would be no place for us.

And it wasn't. It wasn't. Oh, your boy. Your boy definitely woke up Durag Akimbo. You know what I'm saying? As the saying goes. Because as you guys know, I'm trying to get wavy by winter.

Yeah. Hashtag wavy by winter. I must have put it on. It was nuts when I got up. Dude. It was a mess. I woke up on the couch at 5 a.m. I hate that. I don't know where my shirt was. I can't remember if it was on

my body or just on top of me. We took them off. We took them off. Well, because Zach shows up with no shirt. Oh, that's right. We can do it, bro. Zach showed up at 2 a.m. Oh, he was in the house. Don't show up at 2 a.m up with no shirt on. Oh, that's right. We can do it, bro. Zach showed up at 2 a.m. with, oh, he was in the house. Don't show up at 2 a.m. with a shirt on. Please don't show up.

Yeah. No shirts. Please do. Sleeping on the couch, eating Jack in the Box. Yeah. Bad. Bad decisions. Oh, yeah.

Following bad decisions. Following bad decisions. Oh, it's tight. But again, that egg roll is tight. Mike, are you reading twitter is that is that how boring we are to you no were you just on twitter he was on twitter he's very active on sam jackson he was on he was on twitter running the gossip girl account this guy holy shit wait what is gossip girl what's that tv show i don't know a dude from

sioux falls was on an episode of gossip girl what's up which one you no not me there's another dude from sioux falls in the entertainment episode of Gossip Girl. What's up? Which one? You? No, not me. There's another dude from Sioux Falls in the entertainment industry? Yeah, and I'm blanking on his name. Matt something I want to say. LeBlanc. LeBlanc? LeBlanc? He's actually from Sheboygan.

Now we call him LeBank. LeBank? He's making cash, dude. LeMoney in the bank. Stacking that green. LeMoney in the bank. Show me what you drank. Anyways, we determine the order of the draft with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.

Play between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. One, two, three, shoot. I call it. For God's sake, this is my dojo. Damn. And you get the bell when I say so. I just breakfast clubbed it. Here we go. Sensei Dave at the

Tannishorn Karate Studio. This is my dojo now. Oh, man. I told you about my theory about dojos. I believe if you walk in and defeat the sensei, it should become your dojo. I thought that was the rule. I thought so, too, but apparently not. I like defeating the sensei.

I just like the idea of you walking in like, where's the boss? Yeah. You should be able to challenge the sensei. I got really into real estate this summer. What would you do? I kicked like six sensei's ass. I'd like to speak to a sensei, please. Complaining at a karate studio?

Excuse me, can I please speak to your sensei? Are you the sensei? Or are you like an assistant sensei? Because if so, can I talk to your sensei? I need to speak to the gentleman in the... I don't need to be a stickler here. I'm not usually like this. It seems like this is going to be something a sensei is going to have to

handle. I don't even want to waste it on you. I don't even want to yell at you. I'd like to speak to the sensei's sensei. I can't help but notice that you have a white gi. I'm going to need someone in a blue gi. If not, a black gi. Preferably Korean and American patches on you.

A grandmaster sensei, if you will. Yeah. Taekwondo. Is Gyo from Street Fighter here? Can I just speak for him? Can I speak to Gael, please? I'd have to go to the army for that. Oh, yeah. Salt, boom.

Maybe the Air Force. You know what I noticed about that show? Just a little Street Fighter 2 side. Go on. He was saying yoga, but I didn't know what yoga was back then, so I thought it was some Indian martial art. Yoga, fire. Yoga, flame. Yeah. Yoga thought it was some Indian martial art. Yoga, fire. Yoga, flame.

Yeah. Yoga, fire. I can see that. Yoga, fire. But now I just realized Dawson was just a dude who was good at yoga. Yeah. That's how we got all bendy and flexible. That's how we got you.

Straight on bendy. It really changes the whole narrative of the thing for me. Yoga, fire. Yoga, flame. Okay. Here we go. We threw on three. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

David wins. David Boy wins. Still did paper, scissors, shoot. David wins. David Boy wins. Still did it. He's back. All right, I'm going to go first. Ian's going to go. No, no, no, no, no. Before you pick the one, I want to remind you.

What type of draft is it? It is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? It's a great question. Let's say that there's a box of donuts, like just kind of chilling, and one of them has raspberries on it. The other one is like a creme brulee sort of situation. Sure, yeah.

You have a donut in each hand, and you're like, I kind of want the fruit donut. So you take a bite of the fruit donut. Then you go over to the creme brulee situation. You take a bite of that and you're like, man, I want some more of that fruit. But before you take a bite of the fruit again, you take another bite of the creme brulee because it's that good. Then you go to the fruit, take a bite of the fruit, the raspberry, you get a raspberry this time. And then you're like, man, that creme brulee was pretty tight. I want another bite. But before you do that, you take another bite of the raspberry, You get a raspberry this time. And then you're like, man, that creme brulee was pretty tight. I want another bite. But before you do that, you take another bite of the raspberry.

You get another raspberry in there. And then you go back to the creme brulee. So, you know. Basically, if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. And if you pick first in the fourth round, you're going to get diabetes in the second round. Libidus. What will the order of the draft be? Here we go.

David. David. I'm looking right at you, dude. Mike. Mm-hmm. Put Sean third. Let me go last. All right.

Yeah. Sean Ian. All right. Ooh, that was soft. Hot corner. I love the hot corner. Yeah, I like going, because this one you're going to want to turn around on. Got to double dip. Yeah, oh yeah.

I'm a double dipper. Dip, dip, dip. Dip, dip, dip. Dip, dip, dip. All right, so with the first pick in the all fantasy everything, Samuel L. Jackson movie draft, David Borey, you're on the clock. Come on, baby. You know it's Jurassic Park. All right, all right, all right.

I mean, just. That movie. It was for everybody. Yeah, still is, by the way. Do you remember the first time you saw that shit? Yes. That shit fucked me up. Fucked me up.

I was like, those are fucking dinosaurs. Yes. As a little boy, those are fucking dinosaurs. My mom slapped me right in the face. Oh, my God. When he runs the claw across that fat kid's back, he said, and he'll just slice open your belly. That little butter bed?

Oh man, that kid looks like me. Raptors love to eat fat kids, dude. You're on a strict fat kid diet. I mean, yeah, just crunching fatties across the space. Crunching fatties. Samuel L. Jackson, not really in it for that long, but who cares? He's in that enough. Doesn't matter.

Hold on to your butts. He's in it. I went to that in the theater with my great-grandmother. That was like the one movie. She had seen Dinosaurs originally, and she wanted to verify if the movie got them right. This is how it happened. Yeah, that's not what Dinosaurs look like. They're covered in feathers.

She's like a million years old or something. I hate to be a dinosaur buff, but really I would like it better if it was Cretaceous Park. Yeah, Cretaceous Park would have been better. Mesozoic Park would have been better. Yeah, there's a lot of better eras. They could have done that with the sequels instead of going like Jurassic World. Yeah, yeah. Why didn't they just make another park?

I want to see an Ankylosaurus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. A lot of knowledge over here. Dude, I was young dinosaur god back in the day. I'm talking five years old, six years old, seven years old. What's the one with the bone helmet? Triceratops.

No. Oh, and swings the big tail? Yeah, but it's got like the hard, rigid bone around the toe. I don't remember what those are called. I want to see some of those. The bone helmet. Yeah. I mean, you know, that's also a term I use for other things.

His dick, bro. Condoms, dude. That use for other things. His dick, bro. Condoms, dude. That's the bone helmet. His dick, dog. The old bone helmet. The old bone helmet. He's talking about his penis. I squeeged off in the bone helmet.

Threw it in the toilet. Oh, man. You know what's funny is we get emails from people like, yeah, I listened to this with my kids in the car. Well, they're going to grow up quick. You're going to have to explain bone helmets and squeegee eventually. Yeah, they're going to grow up quick. You're going to have to explain bone helmets and squeegeeing eventually. Yeah, it was going to have to happen.

They ain't going to be your little baby forever, I guess. I had to learn about squeegeeing on my own, so it's good to have that talk. Nobody told me about squeegeeing or bone helmets. Pat Jordan wasn't around to let me know. I had to learn from Jurassic Park. Dude, like into watch style. You're just out there in the fucking world.

You've got to figure out what squeegeeing is. Thinking you're inventing moves when really you're perfecting them. End of Watch is a decent movie, by the way. I like that movie a lot. I like it when they fight. But anyways, yeah, Jurassic Park. Dude, JP.

It's just so good. It was just like, I feel like that's also, for me, it was right around the age where I realized how big a movie could be. It was a like, I feel like that's also, for me, it was right around the age where I realized how big a movie could be. Yeah. It was a fucking blockbuster. It was just like Spielberg and fucking products launched.

It was just so big. I had a Jurassic Park jawbreaker. See? You know? Yeah, I feel like I had. It's got a dinosaur inside or whatever we have to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You save it and you're like, no, I can't.

I just want it. No, I rub my tongue raw on that thing. I remember the pain. Raw. No, yeah, job reapers are always... I think that's why I'm so good at cunnilingus now. Is this job right here. Shout out to Jurassic Park for teaching me how to eat pussy.

Right, shout out to Jurassic Park for teaching me how to eat pussy, man. Two episodes in a row. What about, so you just email Spielberg, hey, bro. Steve. I know you don't know me.

Yeah. I just guessed your email. stevenspielberg at gmail.com. Who would have thought? Who would have thought? It really be that simple with famouses. Yeah. Was it me and you talking about

how people just guess emails? I mean, I'm sure a lot of people talked about that, but it's wild. No, it with famouses. Yeah. For most of the time. Was it me and you talking about how people just guess emails? I mean, I'm sure a lot of people talked about that, but it's wild. No, it wasn't us. No. I hope that Shaquille O'Neal is just Shaq at Gmail. You know he's got Hotmail. Yeah, he's still rocking it. It's a weird fucking Yahoo.

Yeah. You know he's got a sponsorship deal somehow. Oh, yeah. With an email somehow. I bet you he has his own thing like Shaqmail that he tried to get going, but it didn't work. Shaq at SBCGlobal.net one of those.

Come on, Shack. Shack at AltaVista. Shack at Lakers.com. Shack at Juno.net. Jurassic Park is a fucking good-ass movie. It's just a fantastic film. The toys were awesome. There's a new video game, Jurassic Park, where you build a park. It's fun. Did you cop awesome. There's a new video game, Jurassic Park, where you build a park. It's fun.

Did you cop it? There's like hurricanes all the time. Yeah, I copped it. It's at the crib. Hell yeah. It's good. Yeah, we got to, let's get into that. Yeah.

Build a park up. Jurassic Park, Mikey Malloy. Yes. The kid. Kid. Time for your first pick. So I'm very glad that David didn't take this with his first pick, because I thought it was a pretty obvious one.

Oh man, you better not. Pulp Fiction. God damn it. Oh yeah, that's... By the way, I will. Whatever you're thinking about. I will. Oh yeah, you guys are thinking now. If you don't, I will. I want to take the clear

best one, and that's the best one. I don't think that's the best one. That he has heavy involvement in? I don't think that he has that he has heavy involvement in i don't think so uh really fucking i just i i'm with mikey yeah yeah i don't really go back in the list but i don't think that is it is so good it's there's one that he's like 10th on the depth chart that might be better but this is with him i guess he is with him in the starting the starting lineup yeah yeah and that's like widely accepted as like the best movie ever made.

Like a lot of people call it like the perfect movie. It's great. There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25, 17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name

of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. It's so good. It goes on. It's longer than I thought. That's pretty good, though.

The Bible is G'd up dude yeah bible bangs hard I read I had to read the bible when I was a child read the whole motherfucker I read it every night

yeah the whole thing cover to cover sure yeah yeah I read I read

from premarital sex and from liquor I didn't know that premarital sex existed there's a lot of good J.O. stuff in there there's a lot

see you getting spelled left and right that's a I hope my mom doesn't in there. There's a lot. Scene getting spelled left and right. I hope my mom doesn't listen to this one. She's going to hate that. My mom doesn't know what a podcast is, so I'm pretty happy about it sometimes. Or J-O. She knows what J-O is. Different.

Different. Whole different. Whole different story. What path are you walking down right now? Yeah. Is there going to be one when Jesus comes out? No, I just had to stop myself from telling like a crazy, I won't, I won't do it. I think we all understand probably what the story was.

Yeah. It's not that hard. There's only so many situations that involve mom and J and O. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Most of them are on Pornhub. Yeah.

Why? I'm very concerned about that. I don't understand. I don't like the rise of that. It's the divorce epidemic. You think that's what it is? I kind very concerned about that. I don't understand. I don't like the rise of that. It's the divorce epidemic. You think that's what it is? I kind of think so. Brandon Wardell has a joke about it, but I think I also did a joke about it

like forever ago, but I think it's like about how all the stepmom and stepsister stuff, it's like there's so many broken up families. It's so nuts, dude. It's so crazy. I don't even like watching it. I nuts dude that's crazy i don't it's so crazy i don't even like watching it like i'll watch it but i don't put the sound on no it's like taboo but it's like safe taboo but it's weird still i don't like it i don't like it i don't like i don't like

those lines stepmoms suck there's just there's so linda yeah tasha some nancy fucking stepmom suck dude there's just so much so much to choose from and when you land on that like what are you doing yeah oh it's just crazy to me Adam

Adam Neurath hates hates it furious about it yeah he'll just bring it up out of nowhere it's huge too

it's gotta be a million dollar industry it never used to pop up though that I never no it's always at the top of the charts now. Oh, when I was in AAA, J in it? Oh, man.

But I remember none of that stuff. Oh, when I was playing AAU ball? Yeah, dude. When I was playing, when I first started playing travel ball? Yeah, travel ball, yeah. I wouldn't do that. When I was in AAA, J in it?

What draft is this? Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel L. Jackoff. Yeah. Got real sexual. Pulp Fiction. Jackson. Samuel L. Jackoff. Got real sexual. Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction.

Yeah, I was going to say real sexy, but that wasn't the right word. No. It's great. I love it. Like his hair, the fucking jerry curl. He's so dope in that movie. Like the bad motherfucker thing. The wallet.

Oh. Sorry. Those are happening, dude. Sorry. Are you getting donut burps? It might be. It could be LaCroix burps. I can't call it. Oh, it could be LaCroix. I forgot about, dude. Sorry. Are you getting donut burps? It might be. It could be LaCroix burps. I can't call it. Oh, it could be LaCroix.

I forgot about LaBurps. LaBurps, dude. I got the LaBurps. Wyatt LaBurps. John LaGurp. Shit. Oh, but like it was the wallet that just said bad mofo or bad motherfucker on it. It would be corny if anybody else did it.

It was fucking awesome. It would be corny if anyone else did it. it would be corny if anyone else did it yep and like the internet made it corny but that was like one of the first things you could like buy i remember like oh really like these well no just like websites would do like you can get this fucking like samuel jackson wallet yeah you know it's like like the people who like think like bacon it's funny to like bacon yeah having that wallet is a very it's funny to like bacon kind of thing to do oh yeah which is like so it became the culture celebrating it became so uh annoying that you forget how dope the source itself is yeah like crank that soldier voice yeah right yeah or like napoleon dynamite you know when you're like oh no those are fucking awesome movies that's a really

good point yeah and like when you leave pulp when you leave it for a while and then you revisit it and you're like damn damn, hell yeah. There's so many moving parts too. Yeah. That movie is great. Yeah. Damn, I played myself. You're right.

That probably is his best movie. I played more. It happens, man. Players fuck up. Good use, dude. Oh, yeah. That's the best one. Even snakes get bit, you know?

Yeah. You know, it was a Greg Oden situation. You took what you thought was the best on the board. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, man. Damn. That hurts. I don't know.

Who are you sitting next to? I'm not. Don't. Come on, man. Jurassic Park isn't Greg Oden. September. I got to hear about that shit in September. I'm in a room with four of my closest people.

And that shit's got to come up. And I just got to sit here and fucking sit in that now. I know. It's different. All the lights just turned back on. Kevin Durant's probably in a gym somewhere getting up shots. Oh, man. He is for sure.

Greg Oden has a hand on his dick and his sweatpants on a couch somewhere. Del Taco's everywhere. Just bored. Playing Fortnite. Playing Fortnite with one hand. Where's the other hand? Not even J-O. It's not J-O. It's just on it. Just on it. Just feeling like, yeah, it's there. Yeah, checking to make sure

everything's good. Trying to remember if it works or not. In an apartment. Oh, God. I don't want to talk about game anymore. I know. Let's move on. Mike, God damn it. In an apartment. That was a tight one.

In an apartment. You know what I'm right? Like with a poster with thumbtacks in it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

Empty Jaeger bottles on top of the fridge. Yeah, decorating with them. Oh, God. Little lights behind them. Blue lights on one, red lights on the other. Christmas lights on one wall. I can't believe. There's a beer pong

table. I can't believe women would kiss me in my house when I was 20. I know! The way we lived? Well, mostly they didn't. That's how I. Yeah, that's true too. It was. Not a lot. No. Man. Gosh. We had posters on the wall in our living room, I think. Yeah. Like.

Listen, if you're an AFE listener in their early 20s, and quite a few of you exist, you don't have to live like that. No, you don't. You do at the time. Are kids still living like that? You do at the time. We do at the time. Yeah, yeah.

My house in college, we had the whole staircase was lined with empty 40s for decoration. We had arrows in the wall because my roommate was shot his bow and arrow from the kitchen into the living room. When I was home, I was sitting there watching Top Gun, and an arrow just arrows in the wall because my roommate was shot as bow and arrow from the kitchen into the living room. When I was home, I was sitting there watching Top Gun and an arrow just went into the wall. And I look over in the kitchen. I was like, Phil, holy shit, dude.

I'm here. Like I could have... Nick Manpay set up a BB gun shooting range in our basement. And somehow you thought women were going to come in and be like, my king. Right.

There's a shooting range in the basement. Well, I'll only sleep with him if he has a lot of nanny ice. I'll go, you're in luck, ma'am. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I'd love to fuck you, but the shooting range. If there's no empty bottle of Goldschlager on the fridge, I'm out of there.

That empty but sticky bottle of Goldschlager. A keystone for the lady? A sticky floor. He's got to have that Jessica Alba Rolling Stone poster above his toilet. You idiot, David. His disgusting toilet.

We didn't have a garbage can in our kitchen. We had a garbage corner with a garbage bag in it. I will not fuck this guy unless on his coffee table there's a box of hot tamales with three hot tamales

left in it that's been there for a month. Yeah. It's got a date on it. I want this house to not have had ants but then they moved in and now it has ants. I want there to be an old plate with the remnants of pizza

and old weed on the coffee table. How old is the pizza? As old as the weed. There needs to be an empty 40 bottle on the front porch that has a sort of brown water in it from the rain and the cigarette butts commingling for so long

that it's fermented to make a cursed beverage. The cigarette butts have come undone so you can't even tell they're cigarette butts. Just a stack of ESPN the magazine sitting on top of the toilet tank that are more pissed than magazine

at this point. Four different kinds of coasters on like a way too nice dinner table. Porn. Just out. Out.

Just out. If there is a windowsill on a counter somewhere. If there is a windowsill that doesn't have a dead bee on it, I'm leaving. They need to have

burned copies of One Night in Paris on the DVD player. God. Chili. God. Chili. Chili. Hormel Chili burnt onto the burner of the stove. Burnt on Hormel.

I want the entertainment center made out of empty beer crates. You know, just the TV sitting there. There needs to be an empty Netflix envelope, four Wedding Crashers next to the Wedding Crashers DVD they own. And three beanbag chairs just a Nintendo 64 controllers length away from the television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want one public computer in the living room. Let's just throw somebody's 14-year-old runaway brother on the floor. Madden, 2001.

But inside of it, girls gone wild. It's not 2001. A Super Nintendo with no games in the house. Shades with one lens gone. Ranch that hasn't been in the fridge in a week but still gets used. Expired hot sauce. That ranch is gonna get used. Congealed sauce. That ranch is going to get used.

We all need it for all the food we eat. It's ranch for the team. Oh, man. The beer pong table is actually just a door that's been removed from the hinges and placed on top of six milk crates. Rick still sleeps in there.

We treat it like a fine field. It Rick still sleeps in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We treat it like a fine meal. It's just rough. It's just a rough field. Yeah, kids, you don't have to live like that. No, not at all. But you should. It is kind of fun. You should for the first.

You should. You should. You got to have a bad house so you can have a good house later. Eat some cold ravioli for a while. Yeah. Out of a shit can. Chef Boyardee. Pulp Fiction, great movie.

Sean, time for your first pick. i'm gonna pick uh jacqueline brown ah good pick jackie brown mother fuck you bro yeah that movie that movie's a sleeper too every time i watch it i'm like shit i forgot how dope this well we just watched it uh a month ago probably and man man, it's so good. Also, Pam Greer, Mile High Till I Die, What Up Denver. Oh, where? Yeah, she's from Park Hill.

She still lives in Colorado. She lives in Parker, Colorado. Okay. You know what Parker does? Yeah, you know what Parker, Colorado borders? What? Elizabeth, Colorado, dog. Look it up, dude.

Your boy was at the county next door to Pam Greer. I'm next door. Real life. Real life Rand McNally over here. That is fertile land. Oh, God. That's awesome.

That's fertile land. She makes me feel like I jumped out of an airplane. Pam Greer and David Borey. Yeah. And Sam Talent. And Sam. Yeah. We all walked those planes.

We got to get picked together. Yeah. Yeah, man. For you to do. That movie just rips. I feel like it's you and Pam Greer kneeling down doing the, like you and me in that picture. Yeah, like the arm thing. Like the over the top arm thing.

Over the top arm thing and then Sam's in the back. Like with prayer hands. Yeah, prayer hands. We'll figure it out. I'll sketch it out. We'll sketch it out first. Sam Tallon ass outfit. Sam Tallon dress is cool.

It's interesting. Right? It's interesting. Don't ever tell him that. Okay, I won't. He listens. He'll hear it. It's an interesting look.

Yeah. It's been like that forever. I'm not walking it back. it. It's an interesting look. It's been like that forever. I'm not walking it back. I think he dresses cool. It's been like that, yeah, since before it was a look. Jackie Brown is a great movie. Jackie Brown. Chris Tucker is great in that movie.

Yeah, he is. And Samuel L. Jackson does rock the shit in that movie. He fucking, dude, his hair. His hair. The way that the Kangol just sits backwards. He looks crazy. He looks terrifying. He looks terrifying. He had that purse.

He had that little man purse. Yeah. He looks like the Crypt Keeper before the Crypt Keeper died. Yeah. And his hair is like orange somehow. You're like, what the fuck is that? Did I ever tell you? I was trying to say it before.

I saw him in real life one time. Oh, yeah. The Kangol is crispy. Yeah. I bet that guy never was the same Kangol twice. I saw him talking to Michelle Obama. My Uncle Mark buys all of his old Kangols. I swear to guy never was the same Kangol twice. I saw him talking to Michelle Obama. My Uncle Mark buys all of his old Kangols, I swear to God. He just has disposable Kangols.

My Uncle Mark would show up to Christmas in a Kangol. I'm like, dude. He just has one of those, you know those bathroom cup dispensers? He just has one of those. He pulls a fresh Kangol out of it. How did he wear it, front or back? Back. He wore it like this.

It was gnarly. Dude, have you ever tried a Kangol? It is a certain... Is he a white jazz musician? He's my white uncle who introduced me to Eminem. Yeah. Which is gnarly. Was he wearing a Kangol?

I can't imagine that he was at the time, but... Maybe we should get Kangol. There was a dark period in my life where I tried the backwards Kangol. That is what? At the age of 12. In Boston? Yeah. Didn't go well.

At 12? Yeah. Man, we were all trying to find ourselves, but that is crazy. I had like a little Irish cabbie hat. Really? It wasn't a Kangol, but it was like, yeah. My hat shit has been pretty normal. Ah, no.

Junior high, I tried to rock a bucket. Yeah. I used to wear. But there's nothing worse than a bucket hat on an insecure fat kid. No. That is not. It's the worst look. I tried to rock a bucket. Yeah. I used to wear. But there's nothing worse than a bucket hat on an insecure fat kid. No, that is not. It's the worst look. A bucket hat has to rest easy.

Yeah, it has to rest on a king. On confident shoulders. On a king, it's a crown. A bucket hat is a crown. For sure. Blue bandanas that just covered my eyes and then a Duke hat over it so you could see most of the bandana. Yeah. Because you got to rep the crips.

I thought I was a crip. The man you turned into is amazing. What do they say? The true sign of a gentleman is a man who no longer recognizes his former self. You, my friend, are a gentleman. That's why you're so happy all the time, man. The glow up, just to get here

and then knowing the beautiful things that lie ahead. Sometimes when stuff happens like I think about like Elizabeth and shit, but do you ever, are you ever like, I used to be crip. I never, I mean, it was, I think about how ridiculous I used to be. And then he went on Sally, Jesse Raphael and things just turned around. She got yelled at by a drill sergeant and fucking walked out of there a new man. I'll tell you this. One time we were having, I can't call it anything other than like gang

training. My friend was like sometimes we might need to jump. This is so embarrassing. We were on the second floor of our apartment building and he's like sometimes we might need to run from the cops. Let's see if you can jump off the second floor of this balcony and I fucking did it thinking that we might have to run from the cops someday. I fell from one of those once running from the cops. Let's see if you can jump off the second floor of this balcony. And I fucking did it thinking that we might have to run from the

cops someday. I fell from one of those once running from the cops. See? Well, that's the difference. Crips were early adopters of parkour, apparently. Dude, it wasn't parkour when I did it. It was fallcore. Shout out to the apartments. If you're in Colorado, Parker Road

and Orchard, your boy fell off the third story. Damn. Ditching the cops. Third story boy. That's what he said. It sucked. Yeah, I bet it did.

Gang training. So yeah, Jackie Brown. Jackie Brown. Good pick. The opening, Across 110th Street. I love that song. Walking through LAX. I used to run to that song.

So much. Across 110th Street. Mine, asshole. Pimps are trying to catch a woman that's weak. Across the 110th street. The pushers won't let the junkie go

free. Bobby Womack? Bobby Womack, dude, yeah. Not an asshole at all. You know what? I always think about Bobby Womack because have you ever heard that song by Ahmad back in the day? Yeah, yeah. Of course. In the beginning he says, Jerome.

Jerome. Put on that Bobby Womack. Nah, girl. I want to go way back. Oh, yeah. Check this out. We're sitting. The wood came on one time in the living room.

And I heard that song and I go, is that the wood? And Ian's like, yes. How did you know that? It's the only movie that has that song. Yeah, you're never going to hear that song on TV unless The Wood's playing. Name that tune, dude. I can get that within three seconds.

Yeah, man. Jackie Van... It's Jane... Wait, which Fonda? Bridget Fonda? Bridget Fonda. Bridget Fonda. Beautiful in it.

Yep. Just dope, man. Max Cherry, that dude kills it. Dude, De Niro's crazy in it. De Niro. De Niro. Now, he murders someone in that movie. Yeah.

So, this is a weird thing to say, but he kind of reminds me of Zach. Oh, just like kind of like aloof. The vibe. Clearly very smart. Yeah. Like sort of aloof. Like he just like, the whole movie, he's just like doing shit. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Smoking weed. Oh, yeah. She's just dancing for me. Yeah. It's a good show. You know what I mean? Smoking weed. Oh, yeah, she's just dancing for me. Yeah, it's a good show. All right, I'll go outside. Yeah. Like, you're just like, all right, dude.

Yeah, that is a Zach vibe. Right? Yeah. Not in the murder thing. No. As far as we know. He's got years still. I mean, you know.

I don't think Zach's going to murder anybody. I don't either, but if he ever does, then this is evidence that he did it. Yeah. No, this is all purely speculation. I don't either, but if he ever does, then this is evidence that he did it. No, this is all purely speculation. I don't think you know how evidence works, my man. And then Robert Forster. Who's that? Is that Max Cherry? Max Cherry. He kills it, dude.

But Samuel L. Jackson does own that movie. Yeah, that's his movie. All three of these movies. Well, Jurassic Park not so much, but he definitely owned Pulp Fiction. He owned Jackie Brown. Jurassic Park is still a great pick. Yeah. I'm going gonna go more Jackson vehicles.

The rest of my picks are not going to be that, he's not gonna run the movie for most of my picks. No. That's why I wanted to get that in there. Jackie Breeze.

Well, time for my first and second picks. Yeah, as it is. I'm taking a movie that he doesn't own, but he is in for a second.

Uh-huh. And I'm taking Coming to America. Ah, fuck. I thought I was going to be able to get it late, because a lot of people forget that he was in it. He's in there robbing the McDowell's. What's he say when he goes, god damn it,

and then he calls him, what's Arsenio call him? Like, some whack this. Does anyone know? Son of a baboon's ass or something? Yeah, it's something like that you know he's just like holding him down that scene is so dope though when eddie's just unscrewing the mop and you're just like he's gonna fuck him up dude he looks great he's like young samuel jackson but like also old but yeah what was that like 93 no or not 90 i didn't mean

that 86 87 yeah i didn't mean that at all, 87. Yeah. I didn't mean that at all. I apologize. Yeah, dude. He is so dope in that. He's fucking awesome. And then like. And that movie is great. That movie in general is so good.

Serious. Yeah, 88. Eddie Murphy is the pastor. Oh. I forget. Yo, it's real easy to forget. Eddie Murphy was a fucking star, bro. That dude was so good at it.

Like, man. He was like one of the biggest stars in America for like a, you know, like forever. A decade. I'd say from coming to America to Dr. Doolittle. Well, from like 48 hours, dude. Yeah, 48 hours. 48 hours, Beverly Hills Cop, carrying SNL. Yeah.

Like SNL sucked except for him for a while. And he doesn't even talk about it anymore. No. He doesn't even fuck with it. No. He's like, eh. And then he, like, it's not like he got whack. He just started making kids movies.

Yeah, because that's what happens after a while. Yeah. He gave us 10 years of, like, burners. Yeah. Like, heat. Heat every day, dude. How many bad Eddie Murphy movies are there? I mean, from the ones where he's, I mean, there are, but I mean, heat. Eddie Murphy. Heat every day, dude. How many bad Eddie Murphy movies are there? I mean, you know.

From the ones where he's, I mean, there are, but I mean, like. But there's Tower Heist. That was pretty bad. From that period, though. From his run. From that run. Jordan Bull's run. Yeah.

He didn't really miss. Yeah. Even like Nutty Professor for the time. I fucking love. It was hilarious. Dude, I saw Nutty Professor in Atlanta and it's one of the best experiences I've ever had they didn't stop making fat jokes and I still loved it

just when he's at the table and you realize how they had to shoot it and then he just did all that what a talent what a fucking talent I mean the kids in Coming to America the guys at the barber shop he's the white guy.

He's the white guy. He plays an old Jewish guy. That's my mom's favorite part of that movie. It's so good. It's probably the best part of that movie, for real. Yeah, man. Yeah. Shout out to Eddie Murphy.

Fucking. Yeah. The royal penis is clean, your highness. Thank you, king shit. Yeah. From that Ludacris album. King shit. They throwing rose petals at my feet, man. I love Ludacris album. King shit. They throwing rose petals at my feet, man.

I love Ludacris. I do too. We should draft Ludacris. We should draft Ludacris. Yeah. All right. He deserves a critical reassessment. Yeah.

He does. He was great at Bumbershoot. We got to see him. I bet. I bet. His songs are also fun. Yeah. He had bangers.

Yeah. Ludacris got hits. Ludacris got hits for days. Hits for days. Guys, we got to save this for the week. All right. Yeah. Go New America first pick. Yeah, Ludo's got hits. Ludo's got hits for days. Hits for days. Guys, we've got to save this for the week. All right, all right, all right. No New America first pick. Yeah.

Second pick. Second pick. No, no, no, no, no. Kingsman. Oh, okay. Oh, that's a good pick. That movie is so good. Where he was weirdly Russell Simmons for some reason.

He was like Russell Simmons slash Bill Gates-ish fucking weird. That was a weird. Why did they do that? He's fucking weird. That movie is weird and I love it. I like both of them. I fucking love both of them. I like both those fucking movies.

Telling me that Colin Firth is going to be a tough guy, I was not sold until I watched it. And then I'm like, well, there you go, Colin. That's because he made such a strong Firth impression. That you weren't ready when he switched it up on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, check it. Check it, check it. Hi, bruv.

Dude, they bruv the fuck out of that movie. There's some proper chavs in that movie. Is that loosely what started the slang movement with us just saying bruv all the time? Probably. That's damn near where it started. Hi, bruv. And he's so weird. But I fucking love those movies

I think some people don't doesn't Laura hate it or something yeah she can't stand it she can't stand it yeah it's wild

she's like it's not realistic I'm like who cares it's like it's a fucking movie that's why it's so fun it's a movie movie yeah

yeah she doesn't like it we almost got like a real argument about it millions of other great qualities and we love it yeah yeah but that one Laura I don't know if you hazard upon listening to this episode.

Hazard upon it. You're wrong. Yeah. And I love and respect it. When we were talking, I had to be like, I was like, hey, we got to stop talking about this because I'm going to get a little upset. For real. To me, it's like the Bond movies have never really had much with me.

Because they're not contemporary. I never gave a shit. I never really gave a shit. I'm not the right age. Pierce Brosnan is good. Yeah, when I was coming up, Pierce Brosnan was the dude, and I was just like, I don't believe this. That's the stepdad from fucking Mrs. Doubtfire. It's a drive-by fruiting. It's a drive-by fruiting, love.

Or me and Amy's pool from time to time. Standing there. Goldeneye was dope. But to me, with the Kingsman movies, I'm like, oh, this is fucking what it was. It's all in. There's like ass-eating jokes and cool suits. Yeah, cool suits. It's the glow-up.

You get to see that kid glow up. The glow-up is there. At the end when he fucking fights his shitty stepdad or whatever. And he quotes Colin Firth. Like, we're going to talk or we're going to have a fight or whatever he says. And you're just like, have a fight. Maneth or manners.

Maketh man. Manners. Maketh man. I hope they make like 50 of them. Oh, me too. I also love when a guy like in a movie, a guy or a gal,

I love the very like proper, like about to beat your fucking ass. Right. You know what I mean? Like they shut the door and they fix their tie. And then it's just like, bam. In that pub when he goes on, like locks the door and locks the door and has one more drink or something.

Oh, it's so cool. It's so tight. I had someone, I was at a bar acting a fool one time. And somebody did that. They did like, act a fool. Shacked in a fool. Shacked in a fool. And I was just saying something I thought was a joke. And this dude, he's like, hey, hey, hey, I'm going to beat the shit out of you tonight.

And just like that. And I was like, oh, dog, I'm kidding. He's like, say whatever you want. I'm going to kick your ass whenever you leave here. And then he just went back to his drink and it was terrifying. Because he could have. He could have. That's a pretty cool move.

And I think I almost ran out of the bar. I definitely snuck out because I'm like, I can't run. But I was not stoked. Damn. South Dakota. Yeah. And yeah, it was a bummer. But it's terrifying when somebody quietly tells you like that.

Like, listen, today, tomorrow, next week, it's going down. Sometime when I see you, I'm seeing you. Listen to me. Because right now, no matter what you do, it's time for you to make your second pick. I'm going to pick one of my favorite movies of all time. One of my favorite movies. It's A Million to One.

No, it's going to be Menace to Society is what I'm picking. And was that the one that you were hanging on to? No. No? All right. I think I know the other one then. But yeah, Menace is a fantastic movie. He's got a very pivotal part in the beginning of the movie. Yo, his part is hella good.

He's got a very pivotal part in the beginning of the movie. What did he shoot, that dude? That shit was gangster as fuck. And he's just sitting there, he's like, Kern, Cody, Kern. And you're just like, damn. All right, the rest of the movie is going to be gnarly. And it's just one of my favorite movies of all time.

It always will be. I just absolutely love that movie. I don't know if I've... Wait, which one is Menace? Menace with Kane and O-Dog. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We watched it at your house.

We watched it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drinking 40s in your apartment. Yeah, I know. I remember. You can't watch that movie too often because that one bangs hard. Yeah.

Oh, dude, and that was the first time I heard Ghetto Bird, where they're flying over the projects. They show the Watts Towers. Do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do. Ghetto Bird's a lot tighter. where they're flying over the projects. They show the Watts Towers. Ghetto Bird's a lot tighter. Listen to it, but that's loosely the beat. No, I think you nailed it.

Guys, if you didn't know, there's not a helicopter in here. No. It's Sean singing Ghetto Bird. Made that movie the same year he made Jurassic Park. Big year for Samuel L. That's what I was just looking at. And he, wildly different characters in those movies. That's the thing about this dude. He can just do whatever.

No, he's got to be one of the greatest working actors ever. Versatile. Tat Lawson is his name in the movie. Tat, tat, tat. What the fuck, man? You owe me some money, motherfucker. Hell no, but here you go. Hell no, but here you go.

Man, and that scene when he shoots it's in the red light yeah it's just so scary in their kitchen you're like that's your kitchen light and then when he's like hey where's that money and the guy just straight up like talk shit and he's like better suck my dick and you're like whoa and he just you can't just be saying that to people no but i mean if you just got out he's like i just got out the fucking joint dude what you think that guy was crazy for that. Yeah. Like, yo, you owe this dude some money, this money.

You're just going to come chill in his house, gamble with him. And then, and then when you tell him to suck your dick, like, whoa, that's a different mindset. When he like damn near politely asks for it. Like, it's not polite, but it's like, he's not being a dick. He's like, Hey man, uh, when are you going to give me that money? And the guy's like, told you I didn't have your fucking money. And he's like, whoa.

There's a gun on the table. Don't come at him like that. He thought he wasn't going to use it. Tat, tat, tat, dude. Menace. So yeah, Menace. Menace to society. The movie fucking knocks.

Great pick, dude. Hey, thanks, bud. Hey, great pick. Menace to society. Brains like a mohawk. Mike, time for your second pick. So I didn't think this one would get back to me, but it's a very minor role he has in it. He's got a deep catalog.

He does. He's in a lot of movies he's been in. I gotta do it. Goodfellas. Oh! He is in Goodfellas. Yep. I honestly thought that was going first.

He's Greatfellas in it. Yep. What was his name? Slacks? Yeah. Stacks. Stacks. Stacks.

Fucks up the ditch uh, ditching the... Ditches the car, got stoned and fell asleep. Went to his girlfriend's house. Yeah. Fucked up, man. Fucked up. Tale as old as time. I end up dead.

Then Pesci had to get the coffee to go. No, I didn't want the coffee to go. He could leave it, you know? When that guy's just like, so should we bring the coffee to go? No. No. Obviously. We'll just stop and get some different coffee.

You don't want to bring evidence of the man I just killed. You don't want to bring it with you. Goodfellas 101. Hell yeah. Yeah. He's got a good little niche, right? Samuel L. Jackson. Oh, yeah.

You know, like. He rarely stars. Yeah. But he's always there. He's always there. He's just like a good guard. He's just showing up. Yeah. He's a good guard, dude. He's a really good guard. He's good off the ball. He's always there. He's just like a good guard. He's just showing up. Yeah.

He's a good guard, dude. He's a really good guard. He's good off the ball. He's a good off the ball guard. He can handle the pumpkin, but he doesn't need the pumpkin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. I love it.

And just by the way. You're always happy to see him, too. Yeah, he's the Rip Hamilton of the cinema. Man, shout out to the Pistons. Sure. Man, shout out to the for the Pistons. Sure. Man, shout out to the Pistons. That Pistons team was fucking, Rashid did.

I love those guys. The Ben Wallace. Ben. Nobody looked harder than Ben Wallace. Ben Wallace was like 6'8", shoving Shaq around. Yeah, dude. Scary Afro.

Scary Afro. He had those like, the ultimate warrior arm ties. Yeah, around his arm, you're like, what are those doing, Ben? Oh, man, dude. Making you look terrifying. Dark-skinned hero, man.

I saw that guy. I was like, this is everything that I like. There's all these legends about him. Like, yeah, he was bench-pressing 800 pounds in a gym in Alabama. You know, shit like that. You're like, oh, I believe it. Yeah, I'll buy that. That terrifying. God, I love Ben Walton.

I'm gonna follow him on Instagram right now. Just the big terrifying? That's a good fucking idea. Just because I'm scrolling the IMDB, just go back to Jackie Brown for a second. Ordell Robbie, dude. Yeah, that was his name. He's got some good fucking names.

Yeah, seriously, Tat Ordell. I wonder what his name is in Coming to America. I think it's Robert. Jules Winfield? Yeah. That is also a great name. It is. His name is just Arnold in Jurassic Park.

Arnold. Arnold. Yeah. Goodfellas, man. I honestly thought that was going quicker. I thought that was going to be number one, Carmel. Yeah, I really didn't expect it to get past you. I've picked Goodfellas too many times.

I know, that's what I was thinking. I was like, is he going to not? I had to take Kingsman. I had to because it's... I mean, there's not much... We've talked about Goodfellas a lot on here. I certainly didn't think it was going to get past four opportunities from you two.

I honestly had to go with Menace because I thought David was planning on taking it. No, no, no. Just one of the most rewatchable Saturday morning movies of all time. Oh yeah. But I was torn because there's one that I'm

pretty sure David's going to end up picking in these next two and I'm right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably.

I think you guys know. Is it my turn right now? Yeah. Yeah. Oh. So first in this

round of next two, I'm picking a movie that he was really in and it's just so fun to watch. Die Hard with a Vengeance. Yeah.

Yes. He was great. Another dank name. Zeus Carver I Hard with a Vengeance. Yeah, dude. Zeus. Another dank name, man. Zeus Carver, I think? I don't know. He was like, he was so, yeah, Zeus Carver. Yeah, he was just really good in that movie. That movie's so much fun.

He's fucking great in it. Dude, that sandwich board scene, I was like, holy buckets. That is, I couldn't believe that. And he just walks over, he's like, hey, man, what are you doing? He wasn't judging because he's like, this dude's got to be crazy. He's got to be off your rocker if you're doing that. Those guys are going to come over here. And then they come over and just crack the bottle on his face.

And he just has to take. Oh, so buck, dude. Not even the buck is part of the movie. Not even close, man. No, that movie is. It's just a fun ride. You know, Simon Says. I was just smoking cigarettes and says watch and kick that water part

yeah and they're like in the tunnel in new york at some point too right what a great action movie it's a great action and he goes through new york bruce willie in bruce willie's iconic franchise yeah you know i bet you he had his own for sure i bet you once a year i try to figure out that riddle and i can never figure it out yeah i watch thing? Yeah. I watch the movie, and I'm like, oh, yeah, right. And then I think about it, and I'm like, how do they do that? That much math with that much pressure? No. A lot of Bruce Willey and Samuel L. Jackson vehicles.

Yeah, well together. Two great tastes that take it together. Yeah. Like the Jamaican jerk chicken wing and the spicy peanut. Sure. At Fire on the Mountain. There they are. We got to get some food after this.

We have to. I'm so hungry. Yeah. My blood sugar is plummeting or skyrocketing whatever happens yeah hit uh david time for your third pick okay my third pick it's so hard because it's like you know what i gotta go with my heart this maybe isn't one of his best movies. Or no, it is. It's a movie that not a lot of people have seen. Yeah. But I love it. I love him in it.

It's fresh. Yeah, dude. I don't know fresh. I bust the dope moves. That movie is crazy. Well, it's fresh. So it's about this little boy who Samuel L. Jackson is like his alcoholic father. And the only times they really hang out is they play chess together in the park.

But Fresh is about a little boy who basically sets up all these drug dealers. Yeah, he's like a dope boy, right? Yeah, so he can get money for him and his sister to run away from New York basically. Yeah. But he's like a little boy and just all this fucking gnarly shit happens. And the kid is so fucking smart yeah and like there's and then that little puerto rican kid is so funny well it's like one of the it's one of the good movies that focuses on the kid like a child the whole time yeah like those are a rare

form of hood movie that does that and i like it hook me up with esteban b yeah that fresh is like it's like through the eyes of a child the whole movie not for a part of it like the whole thing yeah it's it's one of those things where not a lot of people have seen it, but when you see it, you'll be like... You guys are listening. Go out and watch Fresh. If you haven't watched it, when did it come out? Probably 94.

Jesus, I'm crazy. He's wearing Adidas Sambos. Is it 94? That was a big year for him. Yeah. Pulp Fiction, that. Wow. Yeah, Fresh was...

Fresh is like... It's bleak, though. Be ready. It's bleak. Giancarlo Esposito's in it. Yeah, Fresh was, Fresh is like, it's bleak though. Be ready. Jean-Carlo Esposito's in it. Yeah, Esteban. That run, especially from 90 to 95, like, he had such a

run. 100% from the field. But yeah, we gotta draft those. Runs. Oh, yep. It's written down. Yeah, but Fresh is my pick. That movie rules. I think I'm gonna get my third pick that I want. I don't know yet. I think you're going to get Any Car.

Your mic might pick it. I doubt it. I'm very worried that I wasn't going to get it, but Juice. Fuck! Fuck! That was it. I was thinking between Juice or Fresh. Yeah.

I was just like, Fresh Juice? Yeah, exactly. Fresh Squeeze. Shit, dude. Man, I don't get upset a lot. I'm playing a character named Trip. Juice was great. I mean,

what's to say about Juice? Juice is such... I was doing the hoochie-coochie, my friend! There's two things to say about it. Respect

and fucking power. Is that the tagline? It's power, respect, juice. How far will you go to get it? I like at the end where he says,

looks like you got the juice now. Yeah. You know they say that movie's the reason Tupac flipped. Oh, yeah, right? Because he got so hard into character. Oh, yeah. Turned into like a psycho.

Yeah. I've heard that. He was scary in that movie. See, the thing about me is, I just don't give a fuck. Yeah. Q, Bishop, squash it. That was the first time I heard the term squash it, and it went flying into the lexicon after I heard that. I was saying it so much.

Tokyo drifted right into the lexicon. Yeah, dude, it just, like, people wouldn't even be fighting. I'd be like, why don't you guys squash whatever you got going on in your life that I don't even know about? You know, squash it. Squash, yeah, me, I'm a squash guy now. I say squash. See, back in the day, squash was different.

It was a game of recreation to be playing at a gym between two Jewish lawyers. Like, someone's like, hey, let's go play some sports. I'm like, tight, let's go squash it. Squash it.

Squash it. Squash is a good word. Oh, dude, I love it, man. Squash that. Squash that shit. Man. Squash. That movie was cool.

Onomatopoetic. Because it started out so sweet and teenage. Yeah, it really did. And then it's just Tupac just gets bad. Well, they, you know. He got a gun and went nuts. It's a good where they like fight over holding the gun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just show that power trip of like him holding the gun in his hand. Like, damn, this feels tight. You could tell he's just switching. Yeah, yeah. And then he just has the gun. And that scene where Q's in his locker. And then they shut the door. And the bishop's just standing there. He's like, what's up, Q? Yeah, man. Like then he just has the gun. And that scene where Q's in his locker, and then they shut the door,

and the bishop's just standing there. He's like, what's up, Q? Yeah, man. Like, trying to play it cool. Like, he didn't just kill Raheem. Yeah, man. He did kill Raheem. That's Buck, too.

He just shoots one of his best friends in cold blood. Yeah. Yeah. Gnarly, man. I love that movie. And then he got juiced off of it. He went crazy. That's why.

Also, the first time I heard that Cypress Hill song, Kill a Man. How I could just kill a man when man Give me something you can't understand How I could just kill a man You probably thought What's his name? Be real? No no

Sendog You probably thought Sendog was here It was just me When they're going through that house party And it's all the red light That movie's great I love juice Samuel L. Jackson He owns a candy shop yeah i thought he was the

arcade guy right yeah i thought it was like they sell candy though okay it was like a candy shop just like the after school place for the yeah yeah man it's the black of the berry this week they say the older the berry the sweeter the juice That might be true It might be It might be I've You know what That's pretty different

Well you're not married Dude so you're speculating Yeah I'm speculating This is all Speculation Over here Huh I'm gonna move on

I liked it I'm gonna move on too I'm just actually Gonna pick now Sean it's time for Your third pick No it isn't Wait is it

Yeah I just picked. He picked juice. Oh, yeah, shit. It's a serpentine draft. That's right. Sorry, I thought David was next for some reason. Sean Jordan got so lost in juice. I don't know. I have a whole list on my computer. I think David has a pretty clear list. Mike seems to be doing okay. No, I'm not. To buy Sean some time. My voice just

cracked. To buy Sean some time. Sean's crying. My voice just cracked. I'm like, my blood pressure's spiking. He's like, you can see the fear painted across him. We're going to take a quick ad break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on

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And we're back. Sean has collected his thoughts on Samuel L. Jackson. He has refused the marijuana. David always tries to hand it to me. I'm sorry to everybody listening. That was very unprofessional. Nobody cares. I care deeply.

The whole thing is unprofessional. Yeah, but there's a code. 101 episodes of doing it at this point. A code of ethics should be in place. We do live our life by a code of ethics. And I apologize. That code is power. Respect.

How far are you willing to go to get it? And your pick, dog? Pick number three, Time to Kill. Oh. Love that movie. Yeah, that movie's good. I didn't think I was going to, because I was so hell-bent on juice,

but I didn't think I was going to pick another movie that he had a main role in, but he kills that movie. But he has the best line in the whole fucking movie. Yeah, right? Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell. That's fucking awesome.

I didn't deliver it with the grit. Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell. That's fucking awesome. I didn't deliver it with the grit. Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell. I do hope that. Something like that. So I heard that, because I didn't see that movie until later. Yeah. And I think Chappelle, on Chappelle's show, says that. Yeah.

I forget the bit. The Samuel L. Jackson video. The Samuel L. Jackson. Good motherfucking choice, motherfucker. So I saw that before I saw that movie, and I was like, I wonder if that line has any merit. And yeah, they did deserve to die in that movie,

and they did deserve to burn in hell because they did a rough, rough thing. But yeah, he absolutely runs that movie as far as I know. Him and McCann just fucking acting their little peckers off, and Bullock killing it. Sandy Bullock? Yeah. Sandy B? Sandy B. Oh, Sandy B. Everyone's just kind of sweaty the whole time. off. And Bullock, killing it. Sandy Bullock? Yeah. Sandy B? Sandy B.

Oh, Sandy B. Everyone's just kind of sweaty the whole time. It's a great movie, yeah. Like Southern and just like everybody's moist. But they're like, it's got McCann and Sandy B just sitting there like, you guys both look amazing. Just slamming tequila, kind of sweating. Yeah, it looks fun.

Drunk, hot, racism everywhere. The air thick with racism yeah yeah it's time to kill yeah he just murders that movie he's so good yeah and it's so

it's such a heavy fucking movie heavy yeah you can't read that's like once every couple of years yeah yeah and usually just when

it pops on TV oh people are coming out and throwing it up on TV that's also oddly on Sundays a lot of time hangover days and you're like,

what are you doing to my Sunday? Sometimes when I'm hungover though I do just want to watch a big movie. Yeah. Well, yeah. I don't feel bad falling asleep for an hour. I'll fuck around and watch the Pelican Brief

or some shit. Dude, a John Grisham movie when you are like hungover, perfect. Yeah. You know? The Rainmaker or whatever.

Fucking perfect. Yeah. Anyways. That's Rainmaker or whatever. Fucking perfect. Yeah. Anyways. That's how you like to go to bed. You just curl up with your Grishams, right? Yeah. I have a bed made of Grishams. Draw a bath.

Yeah. Yeah. Light some candles. Sketch it. Time for my third pick. All right. Let's hear it. With my third pick, I'm taking a movie.

He's got a little part in it, but it's a big little part. I eat the pussy. I eat the butt. I eat the butt. I eat every motherfucking thing. Playing the role of Big Don. So gnarly. In a motion picture called True Romance. Yeah, dude.

I had that queued up now. Damn. One of my favorite movies of all time, by the way. That movie. He doesn't get nearly enough shine on this podcast. That's his first movie, right? Whose? Tarantino's?

He wrote it. He wrote it. He didn't direct it. He wrote it, yeah. Who directed it first movie, right? Whose? Tarantino's? He wrote it. He didn't direct it. Who directed it? One of the Scotts? Tony Scott. That movie is... Oh, yeah. That movie is damn near perfect.

It's fucking perfect, dude. What's a Drexel? Alabama Worley. Yep. Christian Slater's dope in it. Everyone's dope. Walken's great in it. Walken's got that amazing monologue.

Brad Pitt's great in it. The weird Val Kilmer part. Roommate. Playing Elvis. You're like, what's... Val Kilmer plays Elvis in it. Walken's great in it. Walken's got that amazing monologue. Red Pit's great in it. The weird Val Kilmer part. Playing Elvis. You're like, what's... Val Kilmer plays Elvis in it? Didn't even know it was Val Kilmer for like a decade after I saw that. Dennis Hopper is amazing in it. Gary Oldman. Dude, must be white boy day. Yeah. Gary Oldman

is crazy in it. Seriously. He's an Oscar winner. I didn't believe that was him. We should watch that movie tonight. We should. We should throw it on. Love that movie, dude. Gandolfini is so, so good in that movie. He's fucking scary in it, dude. Because that was like the first thing Gandolfini was ever really in, right? Patricia Arquette just nailing it.

That doofus Michael Rapaport. Oh, fuck Michael Rapaport. He's in there being a fucking doofus. That dude is a chud. Dude, he's a chud. I forget what- Don't do that thing where you like tag him and say we were talking shit about him

cause we don't want to get involved in that I don't want him to feel bad about himself but just like he should feel bad about himself in a way lame one time when I was on the CBS lot I was trying to find parking and there was a spot reserved for Michael Rapaport so I parked in it I was like this is my spot now

so I parked in it Chris Penn and Sizemore having killer rolls Rappaport, so I parked in it. I'm just like, this is my spot now. So I parked in it. Come do something, Rappaport. Chris Penn and Sizemore. Yeah, do Chris Penn and Sizemore. It's just a fucking great, the soundtrack, that glockenspiel, that glock, glock, glock, glock, glock, glock, glock. It's fucking, you're so

cool. Oh, it's so good. The whole movie. Patricia Arquette. I don't mean to be crass here. What? But just one of the most beautiful, in this role. Oh, yeah. Just one of the most beautiful women of all time.

It's not crass to call someone beautiful. I was doing a thing. I was doing a thing. Yeah, I got you. I got you. He knows the words. I'm sorry, dudes. And her sister is the subject of a Toto song.

What? Rosanna Arquette. Oh, really? That's about Rosanna. The drummer was dating Rosanna Arquette. What would you say? The fourth best Toto song? Third? Rosanna Arquette. Oh, really? That's about Rosanna. The drummer was dating Rosanna Arquette. What would you say, the fourth best Toto song?

Third? Second? Third. Third. Okay. One of my greatest great moments is at Night at the Roost,

which I'm surprised why you don't love it. Because we had a great moment there where we were all just like, no, Africa, and then you went and played Hold the Line,

and we were like, oh, yep, that's the best Toto song. I don't know that I knew that was Toto until that night. Hold the Line's one of the best songs. Hold the Line! No, no, no, no, no. Love isn't always on time.

Because it just fucking jams from start to finish. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You love saying the whoa, whoa, whoa. And I love watching you do it. That song knocks, dude. True Romance. And now it's time for me to take my fourth movie.

And with my fourth pick, I think I'm going to go with Unbreakable. Oh, yeah. That a boy. What you know they call me Mr. Glass? Mr. Glass. Also coming out, that movie. Yeah. A sequel's coming out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just love that movie. That's a fun movie. Damn, another Bruce Will movie. Yeah. A sequel's coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking, I just love that movie. That's a fun movie. Damn, another Bruce Willey. Yeah. Whoa. I bet you they like each other a lot. They must like each other a lot.

I've heard Bruce Willey is like a dick on set, so maybe Sam could balance him out a little bit. Oh, maybe. Maybe Bruce Willey's nice. Maybe they're dicks together, dude. Maybe it's a Charles Oakley and Michael Jordan. Oh, yeah. They're just fucking dicks to everybody.

Couple assholes. Dicks on the team bus. You know what I'm talking about? Fomping. It's just like a fun fucking M. Night Shyamalan sort of like. The whole movie's dark. It's dark. That was the first one?

It's supernatural kind of. And back to the Oakley and Jordan comparison, that's why they had to wait so long to do the next Die Hard is they were, you know, he was secretly suspended for getting his dad killed by the mob. That's what happened. Exactly, yeah. Bruce Willis' dad got secretly killed by the mob. Can't do another Die Hard until he was secretly suspended. Charles Oakley was drunk that whole time.

David Stern had to look into it. Yeah, that movie is dope, and I'm excited for Glass to come out. I am too, man. I like that little world. Yeah. Shyamalan, you know, he dipped. He's back. Give me him all.

I don't hate any of his movies besides Signs. The Village. You hate Signs? The Village was trash, too. The Village sucked. I love Signs. Which was the one where the trees... Signs is my favorite, man.

Really? It was the one where the trees... The Happening sucked. Where the trees were, like, communicating with us, like, we'll kill you if you don't start treating us better trees, the happening sucked. Where the trees were like communicating with us. Like, we'll kill you if you don't start treating us better. Yeah, that sucked. Oh, I didn't see that one. That was, Frat got up the second the credits hit.

My friend Frat gets up. He's like, fuck that. And just walked in. Said it pretty loud. So like everybody in the theater could hear it and just stormed out like a baby. That's hilarious. Like, Frat, come on, man. That's what the moral of that movie was?

That the trees were like, you want to treat us better? Pretty much. They were talking, right? And they were spreading a sickness and killing people. Pretty reasonable request by the trees. The trees! Listen, if the trees could kill us, they would have done it by now.

Sean, it's time for your fourth pick. Tight. I'm going to pick Iron Man. It is, to this day, my favorite superhero movie. What? is to this day my favorite superhero movie what? my favorite Marvel movie I say yeah yeah why so serious?

why so serious? somebody sent me that poster and it's gonna get hung up of course it's gonna get hung up not the comment on it no it's gonna hang up in your room I'm gonna hang it up in your room. No, I'm hanging up. I'm going to hang it up in your room.

I will. Right on your ceiling. Can you imagine waking, there's some dude out there somewhere who that poster's on his ceiling. He just wakes up and

he's like, that's going to be another great day. Another day run by the Joker. Where did I look at you? Why so serious?

Yeah, man. Iron Man just rips. I love that movie. And he's good as Nick Fury. Yeah. I think it's a good role for him. He's an eyepatchman. He's an eyepatchman.

He's an eyepatchman. I appreciate the patch. He's an eyepatchman for sure from way back. I love the patch. He's an eyepatchman from way back. Iron Man. Yeah, Iron Man. It's an eyepatchman for sure from way back. I love the patch. He's an eyepatchman from way back. Iran man. Yeah, Iran man. It's pronounced Iran man. Iran. Man, I had a friend that said Iran

back in the day. Said he was going to like iron his clothes and stuff. Drove me way too fucking crazy. How did he not how did he get how did he get through life that way? He's the kid that used to spit on my pillow at sleep. I'd get up to go to the bathroom and I'd come back and there'd be loogies all over my pillow.

So you mean your enemy? He was such a bully to me. I didn't realize it because it was like, you have a friend and you're like, man, I don't have a ton of friends when I'm like seven and eight. And he was just, our parents were like best friends. And so I just hung out with him all the time. He was so, I've told you about him. He was the kid who would not let me eat breakfast sometimes. Oh yeah, that's fucked up.

He'd get up early, he would eat, and then I'd wake up still like eight in the morning with kids. And I'm like, hey, can I have some cereal? He's like, oh no, we ate already. Like what? He was such a dick. He's the one that told me, I don't know if you've ever heard this.

He told me Clyde Drexler's nickname was Clyde the Clyde. Oh, yeah, you have told me that one. Get off me, dude. Are you kidding me? And as a child, I'm like, well, there's no way it's Clyde the Clyde. But he bullied me into being like, all right, I guess we're just going to call him Clyde the Clyde. He would not let me leave the crib until I traded him certain football cards. We couldn't go to bed until he beat me in Tecmo Bowl some nights.

Like, I beat him a few games in a row. This dude sucks. Yeah, he was a bummer, dude. He was a real big bummer when we were kids. Luckily, he's dead now. I am excited about this. It's Mike Bowler's fourth pick. Oh, we got Mikey.

This is a movie that I honestly have watched so many times, I can't even tell if it's good anymore. Sure. Coach Carter. Oh, yeah. Now, there's a hangover movie. Hopeful for today. That song by Mary J. Blighstone.

Coach Carter, dude. A young Channing Tatum. I've never seen Coach Carter. For real? Really? I've never seen Coach Carter. I've never seen him. You'd like it, dude.

Oh, it was heavy on the TNT lineup. I can't believe you missed that. Yeah, I've seen it. You haven't seen it, but you've seen it. If you've seen We Are Marshall, if you've seen Glory Road, if you've seen anything like that. Oh, same shit. Okay, yeah, yeah.

It's a different formula. Same thing comes out of the oven. Exactly. It's so good. I love a Coach Carter. It's meat, cheese, bread. You know, however you do it. Sometimes it's pizza.

Sometimes it's a sandwich. Yep. Sometimes it's a tortilla. Sometimes it's a what? Tortilla. Tortilla. Tortilla. Carne asada.

Carne asada. Coach Carter. So what is he? He's like an inner Tortilla. Tortilla. Tortilla. Carnesala. Carnesala. Coach Carter. So what is he? He's like an inner city basketball coach? Yeah. He's come to take over the program. It's got Ashanti. Ashanti's in it.

Ashanti's one movie, I think. Right? Yeah. She really didn't do too many movies, did she? Because she wasn't an actor. Ja Rule didn't want to share, you know? No. Ja Rule didn't want us getting too much Ashanti.

I understand, though. I understand. We were talking about this the other day. What do you think Ashanti's up to? Yeah, we were talking about that. Like, killing it, right? She flexes on the gram every now and again. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be, like, that's the right amount of, like, fame, you know? Ashanti? Yeah, like, she can go to Target and it'll be fine. A couple people might be like, holy shit, that's Ashanti. But, like, she'll be all right. Yeah, she'll be all right. Yeah.

But she's also, like, mad famous. She could probably get into the Oscars if she wanted to. Ashanti? Yeah. That run was only, like, three years. She didn't get into, like, TV. No. She didn't get into People's Choice Awards.

Yeah, yeah, probably. She was a guest judge on RuPaul's Drag Race recently, so you know She's still getting calls She's still in shine A shine tee Alright I apologize

I apologize I gotta go down shantily David, time for your fourth and then final picks. My fourth pick is Django Unchained. Yes, dog. I almost picked it, but I thought it might be weird. I'm glad you did.

Because now I got it. I watched that movie on Christmas in San Francisco with my friend Andre and our white friend Colin. And the whole crowd cheered when they whipped that white guy. in San Francisco with my friend Andre and our white friend Colin. And the whole crowd cheered when they whipped that white guy. And Samuel L. Jackson's character made me so mad. Like, he played it so well because in the theater, I was just like, fuck this guy. And yeah, Django was great. Django was fucking fantastic.

Jamie Foxx is a fucking movie star in that. Listen, he can do anything. He can do all of it. And he does. Yeah, he does. He gets it done well. Shazam. Dude, he really can do everything at a professional level.

I bet he could kickflip if you gave him two weeks. See, that's... Okay, going back to Will Smith doing stand-up, that's a frustrating thing. Of course. When someone like a Jamie Foxx can hop on and kickflip, and you're like, me i know granted i learned quicker than most to kind of kickflip it didn't take me that long our boy's good at skateboarding but uh yeah dude it take it took me hours tons of man hours in the driveway and i bet jamie fox could get it done in like a day it's just a natural athlete god damn it now i'm furious that's all i should say about what what hours it's something i have

something hours. Like when he's like talking about how many people was put in prison. Oh, is it man hours? What is it? It's, uh, Oh man.

In training day. Yeah. Um, Oh, I don't even remember this. I have, uh, we was talking about,

they have, they, they build prisons cause of me. Yeah. I have, God, it might be man. It was like,

I've over 10,000. It's not man hours. Oh shit, man. It's like over 10,000... It's not man hours. Oh, shit, dude. It's going to bug me. I'm going to look it up. I'm going to look it up. I know what you're talking about. We'll keep moving on.

But yeah, anyway. Django, man. I saw it in South Dakota, and some people in the theater laughed at the wrong stuff. Yeah, I bet they did. Don't tell us what stuff. No, no. God, no. But I'm just saying, it was one of those things where it was weird in was weird in the theater after that but yeah the fucking yeah we saw it in very

different theaters there was a whole lot of clapping going on in line at the right stuff at the right stuff you got the right stuff baby what amy say i was a bad singer. You got the right stuff, baby. I'm the way you turn me on. You got the right stuff. The right stuff. Baby. The right stuff. Django Unchained. It's fucking good.

Yeah. Christoph Waltz. That was our introduction, right? Or was it, was he in Inglourious Bastards first? He was in Inglourious. And like, Samuel L. Jackson does narration for Inglourious Bastards. Oh, shit. Iglourious... And like, Samuel L. Jackson does narration for Inglourious Bastards. Oh, shit.

I think that disqualifies him, though. He does, but it's not... He does narration for a bunch of shit. He's not in it. Yeah, yeah. But like, that's my Django Unchained

Inglourious Bastards. No, I was saying this the other day. Yeah. Racial catharsis. Dude. It feels so good. Me and Ivan Carmel

saw that movie in the theaters and were just stoked. Yeah, it feels so good. I saw that movie in the theaters and we're just stoked. Yeah. It feels so good. Machine gunning Hitler's face off. That was. Yes. That was. He knows what we want to see.

Yeah. It's the same scene is when Django whipped the slave master and you're just like. Yep. Get him. Get him. Get him. Machine gun his face off. Get him.

Dude. Machine gun his face off. Quentin! Dude, Machine got his face off. Quentin Tarantino, he's like the bartenders at the Roost. Yeah, he's a little problematic. But when you walk in, he serves up exactly what you want. Oh, yeah. It's on the counter waiting for you. He gives you too much of it.

Yeah, he does. You know what I'm saying? I might start calling them Quentin and Tarantino. I think they wouldn't notice, nor would it change the dynamics of your relationship at all. They're the only ones in there drunker than us. David, is that your final pick? My final pick is the 1989 Spike Lee joint. God damn it.

Yuck. Do the right thing. RIP Radio Raheem in real life and in the movie. RIP. Yeah. Do the right thing, man. It's great. RIP Radio Rahim in real life and in the movie RIP yeah do what I think man it's great it's you know

what's to say about that movie it's fantastic you could feel how hungry Spike Lee was yeah you could he wanted it I loved it the Netflix thing

what the series based on it yeah sure no she's gotta have it that song she's gotta have it which is pretty good it's actually pretty good

the Netflix she's gotta have it I haven't given it a try yet but she's gotta have have it. That song, She's Got to Have It. Which is pretty good. It's actually pretty good. The Netflix She's Got to Have It. I haven't given it a try yet. But She's Got to Have It is also fantastic. Do you know? Yeah, the movie. Yeah, I haven't watched the TV. What's Daniel Jackson's name in this movie is?

It's like Senor Love Something. Senor Love Daddy. Yeah, because he's the radio DJ. Mr. Senor Love Daddy. Mr. Senor? Mr. Senor Love Daddy. Can you do that? Mr. Mr.

He can. Damn. He is. Mr. Senor Love Daddy. Can you do that? Mr. Mister. He can. Damn. He is. Mr. Senior Love Daddy. That's a flex. Dude, fucking Danny Aiello on that show. Another Giancarlo Esposito flick. Yeah.

That's fucking good, man. John Turturro. Turturro is a sleeper of Hollywood. Really? Yeah. Turturro. That's how he normally ends the place with Aiello. Yeah, he's their brother.

Man, I didn't- He's the brother who hates black people. I can't even picture it right now. Remember his the brother who hates black people. I can't even picture it right now. Remember his other brother who loves black people? He hates Mookie. They don't even live there in that neighborhood. Why are they doing... First time I saw that movie...

You were drunk as hell? No. I've talked about this before. They've done this thing in Portland called Movies in Black and White where they'd show a movie that was heavily race-. And then they'd have comedians come up and like get interviewed about it. And I asked him, I was like, they would, well, people in Portland of influence, I guess they wanted to say. So I go, should I watch it first? He's like, oh no, you should have this be your first time. And I watched it and it was full theater. And I got up

there and I was like, I, you know me well enough. I was like, I don't, I I'm sorry. I don't know what, I don't know the right thing to say when people ask me questions and I was like you know me well enough I was like I don't I'm sorry I don't know what I don't know the right thing to say when people ask me questions I was like listen everyone's I would say like everyone's dope

people were like this is crazy I mean that's a weird that's a whole weird it was a weird move to have and I was on that and then

what's the Sidney Poitier one I guess who's coming to dinner no no the heat of the night heat of the night those are the two movies I did. The heaviest fucking movies. I like that they were like, do the right thing.

You know who's going to have some hot commentary? Yeah. Sean Jordan. Well, not commentary. The mayor of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Yeah. It was, yeah. And then somebody, they said a question.

Sioux Falls doll. I just thought about that. Sioux Falls doll. I like it. Anyways, keep going going there was a question about like um racism affecting your life and i was like honestly it was never really something i was around and they go what about native americans i was like fuck man you're right my dad yeah and like they people were like calling me out like you grew up in the midwest you just

talked about it that had to have been an issue and i'm like it my dad yeah it was you're right i did and i didn't even know what to say i I think I said like, yeah, I just have my rose-colored glasses on. Oh, it was ridiculous, dude. Yeah, I don't even know why you're reliving it now. I just, you know. I wouldn't have told that to anybody. Well, just, you know. I mean, I wasn't being an asshole or anything, but it was like.

I'd have taken that baby right to bed. No. Taking that baby right to bed. Do the right thing. Great movie. Not much to say about it. Young Spike baby right to bed. Do the right thing. Great movie. Not much to say about it. Young Spike Lee in his prime. Maloyer, take us to the house on your fifth pick.

I'm going to go first animated one, I think, that we've taken. The Incredibles. Damn it. Oh, yeah. I've never seen The Incredibles. Oh, good. I haven't seen the second one. I heard it's amazing.

Yeah. It is tight. Yeah, that's all I got to say about that. I'll let you go. I don't know. Anything to say about The Incredibles, anyone? I mean, it's wildly revered as one of the dopest animated movies there is, right? Did I say wildly revered, right?

I think so. Yes, you did. Look at me stepping up the vocab over here. Look at you with your big words. I love it. I try. I love my Biden. Paid $5 for each of them?

What's the phrase? $5 words. Ah, see?'s the phrase? $5 words. Ah, see? Banging on all cylinders over here. Firing. Damn it. Yeah, dude, it's dope. And it took like, what?

Well, when did that come out? 10 years to make the sequel? Which is fun. 2004, I think, was the first one. Yeah, something like that. 13, 14 years for the sequel. 2004, yeah. That sequel, which is fun. 2004, I think, was the first one. Yeah, something like that. 13, 14 years for the sequel. 2004, yeah. That movie was so much fun.

Yeah. And Mrs. Incredible is low-key. Oh, shit. I'm just saying. Mrs. Incredible. Sean might be coming on her Instagram next. Okay, the Incredibles. Incroyable. Incroyable. Oh,royables incroyable incredible it's

incredible incredible Sean you you beautiful stallion thanks galloping across the great plains thanks bud what uh what's your final pick uh it's gonna be a movie that I liked and probably

was never gonna get picked that's why it's going fifth but Black Snake Moan oh I've never seen it was that Christina Ricci up in never going to get picked, that's why it's going fifth, but Black Snake Moan. Oh, I've never seen it. Wasn't that Christina Ricci up in that? Yeah, and Timberlake's like, one of Timberlake's

early acting. Oh, Timberlake is in it. Yeah, he's the, like, the shitty boyfriend and he's all tatted up. He's not shitty. I thought he, oh, he's a military,

you're right, he wasn't. He was like an alpha dog. Yeah, he was a good dude in that. Yeah, he had the shakes. But he left, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had to bail on her for military. And then she couldn't control this moan

and urge. Where's Christina Ricci at? I don't know. Oh, I thought you meant in that movie. I think she's at the restaurant next door. You know where she is? She's chained to Samuel L. Jackson's radiator. What's the plot of that movie? He basically gets her off a...

She's like a sex addict, drug addict, and he just tries to get her right. Picks her like a horse. Yeah. So he like, it's like a basketball diaries thing. He just like kind of traps her at the crib and like helps her get better. And it's good. It's like, you know, not an amazing movie, but it's good.

Yeah. And it's like, he, again, man, I'm heavy with this. He runs that movie. Like that is a Sam Jackson ass movie. Yeah. So yeah, I like it. Black Snake Moan. You know, that was one with this. He runs that movie. That is a Sam Jackson-esque movie. So, yeah. I like it. Black Snake Moan. You know?

That was one for me. Good. I'm allowed to do one for me. Oh, really? Because I'm taking the movie Deep Blue Sea. A shark ate me! I was thinking about it, and I was like, I don't even know if I can like... Deep Blue Sea.

Because that is one of the funniest deaths. It's so funny! In the middle of this fucking deep speech. Deepest, bluest. My head is one of the funniest deaths ever. It's so funny! Dude, when the shark... In the middle of this fucking deep speech and just my head is like a shark's fin. Deepest shark's fin! LL, what are you doing, dude? Well, because he said that in Bad.

I don't know what Bad is. My head is like a shark's fin! Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yeah, he said that in the song I'm Bad. Well, now it makes sense. In like 1988 or something. But, Deep Blue Sea, also like the beginning of CGI in major movies. Yeah. So it looks so bad. It's rough.

So fucking bad. Oh, man. A shark ate me. Yeah, what a bad movie. It might as well have been a fucking hand puppet that bit him. Who else was in that movie? Deep Blue Sea? Uncle L, Sam Jay. Doesn't Sam Jay survive the whole thing?

No, he gets eaten. He gets eaten by a shark. Oh, who survived at the very end? LL didn't survive. I can't remember. Who made it? I don't know much about it. Because they were making the super smart sharks, right?

It is a rough movie. But it's fun. It's fun. It's a fun little walk. It's... But yeah, that was... Michael Rapaport, again. Yep, love him. Oh, he's up here.

God fucking damn it. Fucking damn it. Yeah, not a lot of... I just, man, that LL Cool J song. Deepest, bluest. My head is like a shark. Saffron Burrows is all up in there. Okay.

Thomas Jane, dude. Stellan Skarsgård. Really? Yeah. Okay. Another Skarsgård. Saffron Burrows. A lot of Skarsgårds.

Skarsgård. There's a hell of Skarsgårds, dude. Yeah. Garter Skars. Can't even talk about it right now. That's the final pick of the Samuel L. Jackson movie draft. We left a lot of, I mean, not great that's the final pick of the Samuel L. Jackson movie draft we left a lot I mean not great movies

on the board well Star Wars we certainly left movies Mace Windu bro I love the prequel I don't give a fuck I like the prequels and I like Star Wars

episode one and I like Revenge of the Sith a lot and he is really good in Revenge of the Sith and he says coward the negotiator wasn't bad he goes

in Revenge of the Sith he goes General Grievous't bad. He goes, in Revenge of the Sith, he goes, General Grievous will run and hide. He's a coward. I love it so much. He's just so serious. Like, he's a coward. Like, all right. Shaft.

Shaft was okay. Triple X. Rules of Engagement. Not terrible. Patriot Games. Patriot Games is fun. Kill Bill, sure. Oh, he was... Wait, was he a voice in Kill Bill? Was he like a narrator? Or was he in it? Whatot Games. Kill Bill. Patriot Games is fun. Kill Bill, sure. Oh, he was...

Wait, was he a voice in Kill Bill? Was he like a narrator? Or was he in it? What is he in Kill Bill? Yeah, I don't even remember. Was he a narrator of some sort? He's Rufus. Who's...

Well, I don't know. Is he in, like physically in it? Or is he a narrator? Yeah, I think so. Okay. I'm just reading the filmography of... Killiam William. Killiam William.

Chill Bill, dude. Chill Bill. We got a boy named Chill Bill. Answers the phone by saying, huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. So that does it.

That about does it. Thank you for putting up with our low blood sugar. Yeah. We recorded this right after episode 100. So we were hungover last night. We'll be hungover again tomorrow, baby. You go well. We rushed through the ending of the last one.

Oh, I gotta run through our list. I forgot. David, you went first. You took Jurassic Park, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Fresh, Django Unchained, and Do the Right Thing. That's a good list. Mike, you went second. You took Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas, Juice,

Coach Carter, and The Incredibles. Coach Carter and The Incredibles? Sean, you went third. You took Jackie Brown, Menace, A Time to Kill, Iron Man, and Black Snake Moon. Damn. That's solid. I went last.

I took Coming to America, Kingsman, True Romance, Unbreakable, and Deep Blue Sea. Man. Damn. These are like 15 bangers. Bangers, dude. Or 20, excuse me. Like any of these movies are on TV, I'm excited.

One of them is on right now. I guarantee you one of those is on right now. I bet you, I would say the stats on his shit, I bet you one of his movies is probably always on TV. That dude's getting residual checks. How many times do you think he's texted someone like, hey man, I'm on three channels right now? Probably a lot.

One of them is a T-Mobile commercial or whatever the hell he does. And now he's, yeah, the Capital One. What's in your commercial? He's on TV at some point today. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. I'd say every hour probably he's on television. Yeah, at least you're going to get one little teaspoon of Al Jackson.

That's crazy. Spoonful of sugar, baby. Thank you so much for listening. Everybody. Make sure you send us yours at allfantasypod on Twitter. Hit the email up. Allfantasypodcast.gmail.com. There it is.

Shout out to super producer Marissa. Oh, there she goes. Shout out to everyone on subreddit. Shout out to Frankiemail.com. There it is. Shout out to super producer Marissa. Oh, there she goes. Shout out to everyone on the subreddit. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Frankie Ocean's so bad. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to everyone on the Instagram. Everybody.

We love you so much. For real. Keep sending in messages, too. Yeah. It's so, so fun. And don't be scared to mix it to music, whatever you send in. Just don't ever be scared of that. Oh, yeah.

Because that's so much fun. Please. Feel it. Just don't ever be scared of that because that's so much fun. Please. Please. And more important than all that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Chicago Tea! that was a hate gun podcast