All Fantasy Everything - Secondary Seinfeld Characters (w/ Chris Charpentier, Dave Ross, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: November 30, 2019

GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET.Episode Guest:Chris Charpentier @charpiecomedy IG: @charpiecomedyDave Ross @davetotheross IG: @davetotherossSupport the show!Sponsors:TodayTix: Go to todaytix.com/allfantasy and use promo code ALLFANTASY to get $10 off your first purchase.Eight Sleep: Get $150 off when you go to eightsleep.com/allfantasy.Feals: Become a member today by going to Feals.com/ALLFANTASY and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.Dashlane: Start dashing through the internet and help support our show by visiting dashlane.com/allfantasy to start your 30 day free trial of Dashlane – no credit card required. Use code “allfantasy” at checkout to save 20% on your Premium subscription.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is quite hungover. Still, even though it's... Damn. Damn, son. Even though it's 520, an hour after 420. Bro. What does that mean to...

We all talk right off the bat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that there's anything to jump in on just so you know not to wait. It means that we looked at Zach's huge bong dude and got scared to smoke weed. I love that he doesn't live here, but that bong does. Well, he brought my very reasonable bong

that I had. Because he did a Zach thing where he put it in the freezer and forgot to put it in the freezer. Any bong is aggressive at this edge Yes Get a pipe like a grown up I had a fairly reasonable one though You did, you had like what it should look like

It was like the Prius of bongs It was like a very calm bong It looked like a test tube It wasn't like a wizard There was no glass on it that didn't need to be there More than I can say from most bongs i used to have a bong where the base was a cracked out duck smoking a joint that's amazing yeah that's right that's pretty cool i'm trying to come down from a bad night bought it in new york and i

flew it i put it in my my checked bag on the flight to school in la in pre-9-11 of course yeah yeah yeah yeah i but I wouldn't do that now you used to have to call a tobacco water pipe back then yeah I still want to see someone smoke tobacco out of a bong do people do that oh my god so you had a regular

modest bong well he got it's funny because he got stoned and then put it in the freezer it's like of course you're going to forget got stoned and put it in the freezer. It's like, of course you're going to forget. You just got ripped. Put it in the freezer. Then he pulled it out like hours later and he's like, oh damn. And Ian was out of town and I was like,

we need a bong here when he gets back. And he went and got the fucking 1978 Buick. The saber of bongs, dude. He said it was the calmest one he could find. It's pretty, it's great. It's just like one hit gets you extremely,

extremely stoned from it. It's a fucking cannon, dude. It's so heavy. It looks like a cannon. They use that thing to shoot out, shoot down like Nazi aircraft or World War II. Yeah, it looks like a dab rig. When it's got some crazy...

What does it say? Crush with a K. Hell yeah, dude. Carmel with a K. That's no coincidence. We are gathering here today in the Fortress of Solitude. Wait, no, I'm jumping in. I haven't recorded in a while and I'm super hungover.

Well, let me regale you. I got way too ahead of myself there. Let's warm this brain up with this ICP story I was about to tell. I've told bits and pieces of this over the last 160 episodes. He was Sean Jordan. Sean is Jordan. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on the gram.

Sean Insane Clown Jordan. Sean Insane Clown Jordan. Sean Insane Clown Jordan. Sean Insane Clown Jordan. Yeah. Sean Insane Clown Jordan. Wow. Sean Insane Clown Jordan. I'm here with my Sean Insane Clown posse. You're definitely not too hungover if you did that. That's incredible. Wow. Sean Insane Clown Jordan.

You're the Sean Insane Clown Jordan. What's up, baby doll? I'm Sean Insane Clown Jordan. How good... How many other qualities would you have to have before you could get away with... I'd have to get my wedding ring tattooed. That's another story.

Okay, we'll get... I was just telling the boys here that I went to an ICP show and my shirt was so drenched with Faygo when I left and I was thrilled and I never washed it and I eventually had to just throw it away. Like free flies on it and stick a disgusting Faygo rag shirt.

I had a friend in middle school. What were you going to do? We're in Smith's car and we were all drenched and we're like, that was fucking ill, dude. I'm not kidding. I'll stand by it.

Statistically, there have to be some juggalos who listen to AFV. I listen to ICP on a pretty regular basis still. I'll listen to the Great Malenko. This guy. Once a month, I bet you, I listen to some part of the Great Malenko. Some part of it. It's an album. It's an album, Dave.

It's an album by serious artists. But the phrase some part of it makes it sound like you're going to listen to like 15 seconds in the middle of a song. Just to come back down to earth. You didn't say a song or two. You never been to the gym? How do you think I'm putting up 900 on squats? He's maxing the squat rack. This is the 15 seconds of the great Malika.

Of what is a Juggalo? Let me think for a second. Well, he gets buck naked. I could rip off the whole song for you. Wow. Family. I listened to the Nedden game when I benched you. Is that a ICP song?

Yeah, that was a sketch. They used to call Nedden that of a woman. They would refer to it as the Neddon. The vagina? Yes. The vagin. Yeah.

Oh, yes. I had a friend who loved wrestling when we were in middle school, high school. You have a friend who loves wrestling now. His name's Mike Maloney. I really do, yeah. He's trying to get us to come over to watch wrestling right now.

Something called War Games. Yeah. Which I'm sure was fun. Man, I just got added to that group text and the first text of the group text was, hey, I know you guys don't like wrestling, but I'm going to be

watching wrestling. And I would have wanted my first, but I was too late. I wanted my first text in this long group thing to be like, you're right, nobody likes wrestling. Direct hit. Have fun. What the fuck are you talking about? You're a genius. Have a peaceful night.

But this dude did the same thing. He went to a wrestling match and like Stone Cold Steve Austin threw like a beer soaked rag at him and he caught it and he had it in a Ziploc bag in a mini fridge in his room. Oh my god. And he would just bring it out every now and then and it was moldy and disgusting and anytime he opened

the fridge it was rank. This dude was weird though, man. Obviously. That was like not even the weirdest thing about him. He was like an electric guitar virtuoso and like set up a home gym and got all buff

and played electric guitar. Tommy Layton, if you're out there, I think he's a Trump guy now. Real weirdo. Oh man. Yeah. Oh shit, so the other story electric guitar. Tommy Layton, if you're out there. He's a Trump guy now. Real weirdo. Oh, shit. So the other story. Sean's engaged.

Sean is engaged. Congratulations. Laura St. Clown Posse. Well, yeah, she's going to take your name. Do you, Sean St. Clown Posse, take Laura St. Clown Posse? Sean St. Clown Posse. I think I'm already punch drunk. We've been doing this for 10 minutes.

For real. I didn't think I'd have any gas on the tank, but this is very fun already. I hadn't seen you in a couple weeks. And I came back and we went to the mall. And I was like, I don't have any tattoos. I want to know what a tattoo feels like. And Laura brought up, she's like, what if you got your wedding ring tattooed? And I was like, that'd be sick.

For real? And Ian's already shaking his head. I was trying not to look at him. So I told him this. We're getting out of the car to go into the Galleria. I was like, I'm thinking about getting my wedding ring tattooed. And he goes, no, no, no, no. It's the same way you would respond if someone was like,

I'm going to take a bite of that dog shit. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sure it works for some people. All right. There's two times he's taken this tone with me. The other time I wore a yellow hoodie one time, and he's like, never again with that hoodie on. It wasn't your color.

It just wasn't your color. He just let me have both barrels like, no, no, no. And the tattoo in a wedding ring. If you have no other tattoos even if you do I don't know man that's not you I get my wedding ring tattooed on God you were so like concerned

yeah I really laid it on heavy and early you gotta get to that problem just to drive it like no no no and I started talking about it he's like buddy absolutely not yeah you had all sorts of like halfway justifications for it like, no, no, no, no. And I started talking about it. He's like, buddy, absolutely not. Yeah, you had all sorts of, like, halfway justifications for it.

Just get a different tattoo. Yeah, man. Oh, my gosh. One of you has to die, and then, yeah. All right, man. Probably be me, dude. All right, I'll volunteer. Way I'm handling my business at the Galleria. Oh, man. Just being honest with everybody. Not only is Sean Jordan here, do you have anything

to promote, by the way? I'm doing Snow Jam in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. They finally asked after five years. What is Snow Jam? It's a festival in Sioux Falls. It's at the end of January. I don't know the exact date, but it's the festival at the end of January. They've been doing it for five years.

It's quietly boiling because they never once asked me to do it. I was like, they asked this here and I go, yes, obviously. Quietly boiling is a cool thing to say. Describes most people I know. Yeah. It's a spec script, but it's an ICP song.

Quietly boiling. I don't have any writing samples that aren't spec script songs for ICP. Is that why I've never gotten any of these jobs aren't spec script songs for ICP. Is that why I've never gotten any of these jobs? It's a two-character drama. It's a two-character psychodrama with some comedy elements.

Hey, yo, Jay. What's up, Shanky? You think Pete Thurman eats ass? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was the Jack White song. He's referencing Jack White wrote a song with uh insane clown posse and it's real and it's about how mozart eats ass they say mozart

it's like they did it mozart but everyone calls it mozart yeah well he also called beethoven beef oven that don't they do that in bill and ted though do they don't they do it somewhere i've heard that before. Beef oven. Because it is beef oven. Another name for Shane could be beef oven. The beef oven, dude. Beef oven? Yeah.

Oh, no. Dude, every time I'm on this podcast, you guys shit on Shane, and Shane blames me. Every time I see Shane, he's like, fuck you, Ross. Who's Shane? The beef oven? Shane Torres, Ludwig, fuck you, right? Shane, the beef of it. Shane Torres, Ludwig van Beefhoeven.

The beef. He does no manner of complaining to us. We're going to stop. So he's got to go. He was at a festival a couple weeks ago and someone brought him up as Sean Torres again. Someone DM me on the gram and they're like, hey, just so you know, someone brought Shane up as you. And I'm like, oh, wow. Because they did that. Our friend Carly

did that at his album recording. Oh, God. That's right. Sean Torres. I was so pumped. That's so funny, dude. He was pissed. He's probably pissed right now if he's listening. But Shane, I love you to pieces. Buy his album. Getting fussy on some denim somewhere.

Somebody's closing in on me. Quietly boiling in some denim, dude. That's a man who quietly boils. We love you, Shane. Come fucking move to LA already, you cat. Yeah, that's weird. What is he doing not being here? You cat is very odd.

It's about to get real cold out there, dude. Come summer in Los Angeles. Did you see what Jane Harrison postedane harrison posted about yes dude that's one of my favorite things i've ever seen i i could not we were we were wondering like why so for the listeners this is public will you tell it he gets mad at me tell it he's gonna get mad at you anyway i'll tell it i'll fucking tell it i love them both shane you know i love you and jane you know i love you shane maybe you don't know but you need to know I love you. And Jane, you know I love you. Shane, maybe you don't know, but you need to know. I love you so much. And it's just the funniest.

So Jane Harrison is another really funny comic in New York, and she lives with Shane. And she posted online that Shane Torres accidentally put the Roku remote in his pocket, and then he just left and got on a plane to go to the airport.

I haven't seen a Roku remote. Do they look like a phone? They're tiny. I totally know how it happened. It kind of looked like a vape pen. It's perfect though. It's another perfect Shane Torres. If you're having the kind of day

where you're just fucking watching TV, I'll fucking pick it up and I've got it. Absolutely. Yeah. And if you got to go to the airport later that day, too. Totally. I left Portland one time without my keys to this house. It was such a...

But we were driving and we got to like an hour out of town and I was like, I don't have my keys, so we will be going back. I left the Jupiter Hotel during Bridgetown without my laptop or my keys to my car that was waiting for me in LA. I was so drunk still in the car because it was after Bridgetown. And like as they're pulling into the Portland airport, I'm like, we gotta go back.

I'm gonna miss this flight. Bro, you're gonna bomb out, but we gotta go back. We gotta go back. Not only is Sean Jordan here, so Snow Jam in Sioux Falls. Please come. When is that? End of January. End of January. Please come. It's...

Yeah, I'm just stoked to do a festival there. It's my town that just came out with the Meth We're On It slogan, so I need to go redeem them a little bit. South Dakota. I saw that. We're on it. Boy. And just, if anybody forgot, a couple years ago, they had a campaign that was don't jerk and drive. It was about not jerking the wheel when you're in snow.

But the fucking slogan said, don't jerk and drive. And none of the adults that got their eyes on it were like, you know, kids call jacking off jerking sometimes if they're cool. Wow. Don't do adults. There's a lot of long, straight drives in South Dakota. It might have been an issue. It might have been two birds, one stone.

I've cranked down in the car before. Have you? Yeah, plenty of times. I've never done it. I've done it to stay awake. I've never done it for, like, pleasure. To stay awake? I've never done it for pleasure. My ass! Not in the car. I've never been in the car so horned up that I need to... You're just listening to fucking Great Malenko

being like, this is work. No, man. If I don't do that... I gotta get to Peoria by 8 p.m. That's what it was. Those long drives, going to Peoria specifically, but I was getting super tired and I'd snap one off and it'd wake me up.

Yeah, and then you're awake after? More awake? If I'm in a car. I'm not buying any of this. I'm thinking that you were getting real close to your destination busted one off and then fell asleep right when you got there i'm telling you i wouldn't do it i'd be i'm very honest well then you're the only man on earth who jerks off to stay away only when i'm driving because it gets the heart rate going sure and if i'm driving it

doesn't i don't like it's the mental spot where i'm like i can't go to sleep right now so yeah i believe you it's fun believe you. It's fun. It's been fun every time, but the goal wasn't... It's been fun every time. Or at least a Spartan run. Laura just told a lot of her family to start listening to this. Oh, God damn. Man.

You really are Sean Sane. You know what I mean? The clown posse really is Sean Sane Alright Marissa delete the first 15 minutes of this Oh no no no put an echo on it Put an echo on Sean's entire story About jacking off Oh please Marissa play the beat for great

Yeah insert laughter insert ICP laughter Not only is Sean Jordan here Not jacking off presently Get me in a car, I dare you Take me to the grocery store For those of you following along at home Dave Ross is also here Hello

At Dave to the Ross on Twitter Yes Is it Dave to the Ross on Instagram? Dave to the Ross on Instagram As well How are you doing? I'm doing great, man Thanks for having me

Of course, of course Yeah, I'm so stoked to be here. Where can we tell people to check you out right now? My album's out. You can get that. It's called The Only Man Who Has Ever Had Sex. Fantastic. You can buy physical copies and stream it and all that shit.

The URL is sex.guns.beer. Amazing. Yeah. Sex.guns.beer? Yes. That's fucking amazing. Yeah. Also, I'm on the road. Yes. So I don't forget. I'm in Chicago. This comes out this fucking amazing. Yeah. Oh, also, I'm on the road.

Yes. So I don't forget. I'm in Chicago. This comes out this Thursday, so yeah. Oh, great. I'm in Chicago, December 13th.

Come see me there at North Bar. Tickets on my website, DaveToTheRoss.com. Is that where we were? I think that's where we performed. Is it just a big group? You've been there before?

I've never been there, no. It's like 80 cap, 100 cap. Okay. If it's where we were, yeah, it was dope. It was real fun. Dude, I've heard it's rad.

They blew it on the green room quite hard. But other than that, it was... They blew it on the green room and David ordered a bunch of Chicago style hot dogs but forgot to order the Chicago style of it. He just got plain hot dogs. He postmated hot dogs to the green room and then they were just a bunch of naked hot dogs. Because he forgot to check the

sport members pickles. He was so bummed. He was just eating them all sad like, I'm gonna eat them. He was earnestly upset. There was no... them all sad. He was earnestly upset. There was no... It wasn't until much later in the night. Yeah. Man, that's so funny. It's funny when David gets in a funk because he's such a positive.

He goes with the flow more than almost anyone I've ever met. And when he gets in that funk, you can see him like, I don't want to be pissed about this, but I am. I just help it yeah that kind of thing man it's like right before we went out though god that was the one energy in the room changed i was the one where the chair where the chair fell and you thought you broke it yo so there were like slats in the stage yeah and i was sitting in this chair we're doing the show and like the uh back leg of the chair like i slid back and it fell into one of the slats

i just thought the chair gave out from under me oh no and i was like it didn't hurt but i was laying on the ground so bummed oh yeah oh god a hundred people just saw me break a fucking chair oh my god and then i looked and it had fallen into the stage and i got up and celebrated like i just knocked out apollo creed can i tell you? Can I tell you just as an outside observer that it sounds like what happened here is that you all had really bad hangovers? Because the story you're telling me is, so David didn't get the food he wanted and he was sad. And then

Ian thought his chair fell down and he was really sad. That's 100% accurate. Where were we the night before? It doesn't matter. We were drinking. I was at a barbecue one time at the Eisenhower's Soul Crate. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I was sitting in one of those swing chairs

with chains on it. You know, you got a picture of what I'm saying? And I was a lot bigger than I am now. I was right before I left Sioux Falls for Portland, so I wasn't exactly at my fight and wait. And I was sitting in this chair, and somehow everybody at the barbecue, there was like 30 people there,

and they just were like looking at me, and then it just went, and it just broke on my side and I had mesh shorts on. I just look so sloppy and I was like, oh, so bummed. This is not Sean Sane.

This is Sean Sane. Sean Sane clown posse. Sean Sane clown posse Sean sad clown posse Oh my gosh How are you feeling today? I haven't laughed this much Sean sad In like a

I just looked Sean not seen Sean sad Sean sad clown posse I was on the gas station sub somehow Sean sad Want an ice cream Sean Sunday? Let's go Sean said clone boss. I was on the gas station sub somehow. Sean said. Want an ice cream Sean Sunday?

Let's go. An ice cream Sean Day? Yeah. So, Chicago on December 13th. Yes. At the North Bar. At the North Bar. At the North Bar. Any other dates people can check you out at?

I have some stuff coming up in California and Texas and Oklahoma in January, but the ticket leaks aren't up yet. They'll be on my website soon. Keep an eye on the website. Keep an eye on the social media accounts. Also, Chris Sharpentier is in the fortress of solid is today. What up?

Sharpie. Sharpie comedy on Twitter. What up? What up? I'm back and I'm here for blood this time. Yeah, I'm taking it seriously. King tough is back in the building.

That's right. What is it on Instagram? Sharpie Comedy. Sharpie Comedy. What do you got coming up? Where can people fuck with you? I have a podcast called The Sports Bullies.

Sports Bullies the game. It's insane. You and Mr. South Dakota. Yeah, that's right. David Van Heisen. David Van Heisen. I'll kick his fucking ass. He'll be here tomorrow and I'll do it. You're the one who said he was Mr. South Dakota.

Dude, I'm weird today. You're setting the table and dishing out the food. I think I'm bleeding. I want to see that fight. He'd win. Well, unless I was pissed, but he'd win. He's bigger.

He's pretty tall. What's the choice on aren't you pissed when you're fighting David Van Izen? Yeah. I'd have to like... It would take a lot.

He's Mr. South Dakota. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. If David were to look Sean in the eye and say, I'm Mr. South Dakota. Here's my question. You're going to take a swing

on Mr. South Dakota? I mean... That's going to be hard to go back home if that happens. Exactly. Yeah. Snow jam. It's going to take a swing on Mr. South. I mean, that's going to be hard to go back home. If that happens. Exactly. Yeah. Snow jam. It's going to be a tough snow jam. Why don't you guys get a beef oven?

Remember when we were doing that? Let's do that. Remember when we weren't making fun of me? Damn, dude. Oh, man. They're both equally fun. Oh, my gosh. This rules. So let's have the sports bullies.

Sports bullies. I also have a show in LA that I would love people to come to every Sunday night called The Arroyo Comedy Show. Oh, yeah. It's very fun. It's dope. So fun. I also have an album out as well called Brain Thoughts. Brain Thoughts. Yeah. And you can get that

at a special thing. So we're through my website. Label Mates. Label Mates. All three of us. Oh, yeah. Fantastic. That's right. All three of us. That's right. I was kill rock stars. Well, your next one. Fuck you. I'm not recommending

you do that. For your next one, you know where to go. I'm going to a special thing, baby. That's right. Damn right. You want to be on the label with the guy who jerks off for work. That's right. It sucks.

I'm just looking at truckers like, hey, man, me and you. You and me. Same room. When was the last time you jacked off when you were drunk? It's 3 a.m. I'm just trying to get to fucking Sioux Falls. I'm all hopped up on GoFast. I'm just trying to get to fucking Sioux Falls. I'm all hopped up on GoFast. I'm just trying to get a boner so the blood has somewhere to go.

You guys got any of those monster coffee things? Because I want... I done jacked up. It's like one of my... It's all gone. Tank's empty. One of my favorite things I've ever heard, man. I did have such a touch where I was like, I'm not doing it for fun. You're just eating coffee beans, jacking it off. Eating coffee beans?

Chewing on sunflower seeds. Fucking dining a flashlight in my eyes. Just blasting up the purpose-driven life of a book on tape. That's all the truck stop had. All your alarms are going off on your phone. My mom told me once that the best way to stay awake when you're driving is to hold a $ dollar bill out the window. So if you're doing that and jerking off,

that would be one of the really fun to see. I got someone else steering. You just want me to drive? No, I want you to steer. I'm just going to beat off real quick. I gotta wake up. I don't trust other people driving my car.

Oh my God. We're already going we're not gonna stop The clutch is real I'll put something over it but I'm gonna be beaten up for a minute You're like blackout drunk No I don't want you to drive rude I don't trust you Oh my god

That's so funny Just hold the wheel. I am Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish, Sean's saying clown posse app, which is coming soon.

Yeah, dude, it's in testing right now. What do I have coming up? Oh, this is the first time we've recorded since I can say the new show I'm on. Oh, hell yeah. We don't have a release date yet, but we the first time we've recorded since I can say the new show I'm on. Oh, hell yeah. We don't have a release date yet, but we're pert near done filming this new show Game On, which will be on the Columbia Broadcasting System, CBS, America's number one network, where it's me and Venus Williams going up against Bobby Lee and Rob Gronkowski

in a number of athletic and comedic contests. Awesome. And the results will leave you rolling on the floor laughing. Much like your favorite acronym. There's no release date yet for it, but it's been crazy. I fought a 600-pound sumo wrestler.

I jumped off a 30-foot platform. I danced with the Laker girls. What were you saying? It's going to be okay. What were you saying? It's not that bad. It's not that bad. So we did this thing for it where there's like an obstacle course in the studio we have to run and to make it more dramatic, they start us off on like this platform that's hung 30, it feels like more,

maybe 40 feet, like above the floor of the studio. And they bring you up there in a cherry picker. And then you get up there and you're in a harness. But the first time you do it the third time i did it it was like easy i just stepped off but like the first time you're just standing at the edge i just burped you're just standing at the edge of a fucking platform and they're like don't hold on to the side which is like the hardest thing not to do i love it dude it's not that bad damn dude you're just like fuck fuck fuck fuck and then you like step off and you fall for a couple feet and then

you feel like it catch you but it's so fucking scary and so the first time i did i was shouting it's not that bad all the way down as though to convince myself that's right it was that bad but yeah but it ended up being really fun anyway keep an eye out for that because of that I haven't been doing any stand up comedy it's been the longest I've gone without a set since I started doing stand up I've been doing it every night you've been on the grind dude it feels really fun to actually do again

so look for Game On watch the Late Late Show with James Corden listen to All Fantasy Everything that's kind of it shout out to Super Producer it. Shout out to Super Producer Marissa. Shout out to Sue Carmel. Marissa did a fun little interview. I read it and it made me tear up yesterday. I retweeted it.

Yeah. It's mostly about insane clown posse, right? That's what she's talking about in it. Go listen to The Great Malenko. If anyone's doubting me, tell me that that beat doesn't go. No. Don't go do that. I said go listen to the great fucking Malenko.

It's really too bad. The beat's not the problem. It's the other stuff that happens during the beat. It's a nice bed of lettuce that somebody broke a glass over. You know what I mean? That's not a good salad. It's not the lettuce's fault. If I will say this, the three of us are not ICP believers,

but if David were here, he's a defender of it. He would defend. He would. He's a two on two. Yeah. Or two on three. And I just felt like that,

that needed to be said. You need to be represented here. I mean, yeah, I know it would. Who else? Who's that rapper from Kansas city? Who you probably like?

MGK tech nine. Tech nine. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah like? MGK, Tech N9ne? Tech N9ne, there you go. I went to a Tech N9ne head PE show. He's big in the family. Well, dude, he is so buck. I'm saying it's an amazing live show. If you haven't listened to Tech N9ne, go listen to The Rain. Tell me that fucking song doesn't go.

I can't stand the rain. I guarantee you have listeners that are into ICP because you have a lot of listeners in Denver. And Denver is all about ICP and family. Tech N9ne plays there like 20 times a year and sells out the film more. It's fucking crazy. Wow. So many ICPs.

You see people just walking around in face paint all the time in Denver. And you're like, well, I guess this is where I live. Good for them. I'm saying. It's great fuck it man whatever blows your dress up

it's not hurting anybody as long as you're being cool man right yeah now we are gathered here in the fortress of solitudes right on time is that kind of podcast

not only to validate yeah not only to validate people's interests in the insane clown posse aka the wacky circus gang if you're a long time AFP listener.

It took you so long to get it out. But also, to draft Seinfeld characters. Characters from the popular sitcom that aired on the NBC, Seinfeld. We're going to be drafting characters from it. It's a draft I've never been more

prepared for. I know. I feel like I've been training for this my whole life. We're sitting in a room with a portrait of Larry David in it. It's a draft I've never been more prepared for. I know. I feel like I've been training for this my whole life. We're sitting in a room with a portrait of Larry David in it. Dressed like the Mona Lisa. Yeah, so hopefully you've watched Seinfeld, so you're familiar with these characters. Even if you haven't, boy, there's going to be

some laughs along the way. I can tell you that right now. So stay tuned in, you know. Don't change that dial. Tune in. Go ahead and smash that like button bro oh absolutely go ahead and uh smash that like button go ahead and like and subscribe hey bro open up your computer smash that like and subscribe button bro

you'll never be happier the dopamine rush you're gonna get from smashing that like button bro smash that five star rating get your little dick beater out and smash it bro act like you're on a long car ride Get your little dick beater out and smash it, bro. Act like you're on a long car ride and smash that dick beater, bro. Now, the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors

played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh, Sharpie wins. Sharpie, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, we'll tell you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that?

That's a great question. That's a great question. I don't know what that is. I get sick of explaining it to David. I guess I'll explain it to you too, dipshits, huh? It's kind of like if you're at the airport and you're going through security. If you walk in the security line and you start on the right and you have to go all the way over to the left.

It's like a big back and forth until you get to that prick that makes you take your hat off. You know what I mean? That was a great description. They do make you take your hat off, by the way. They make you take your hat off.

I take my hat off for identifying you and matching you with your ID. You take your hat off, by the way. Huh? They make you take your hat off. I take my hat off. They're identifying you and matching you with your ID. You take your hat off before. Also, that's a military officer. You show some respect. Is the TSA the military? Is that what you're... I think it is.

But that is what I'm saying. It's always Laura's dad that checks my ID. Army, Navy, Marines. Every flight I take, he just comes and taps him on the shoulder like, I'll check this young man's ID. He's got a dental chart. He makes you open your mouth. Alright, that's Sean. In case you haven't, go ahead and smash that like and subscribe button.

If you haven't done that yet, go do it, bro. Have a safe flight. Smash that like and subscribe. Have a safe flight, Mr. Clown Posse. We'll see you. Mr. Clown Posse That one got me That one got me Stay Clown Posse

That would be the funniest shit if you changed your last name to Clown Posse Right this last name to Clown Posse. Right this way, Mr. Clown Posse. Everyone's gathered in the conference room already. There's a bit of a gathering in the conference room, Mr. Clown Posse. Like some CEO,

and you're changing him to Mr. Clown Posse, and everyone had to deal with it. No, I know your last name is Clown Posse, but is it first name Sean, middle name Sane, or first name Sean Sane? Sean Sane, Clown Posse. Mr. Clown Posse, you don't actually name Sean, middle name Sane, or first name Sean Sane? Mr. Clown Posse, you don't actually have to make a reservation at Taco Bell, but you can. It's not required, but you keep

doing it. We'll always be able to accommodate you, Mr. Clown Posse. I assure you, Mr. Clown Posse, the utmost attention has been paid to your room. We don't normally have rooms at Taco Bell, but we made one for you. You want to have an adult milestone birthday party at Taco Bell, do you?

Okay. Okay, well, happy 38. That does feel right. That feels like the right age. Mr. Clown Posse, would you like your tequila warmed up in the microwave? Like hot sake? Oh, hot tequila sounds so gross.

Especially microwaved. Microwaved tequila. Hot tequila sounds like a Sammy Hagar cover band. Yeah, it does. So basically what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Do you want to use that outside of your brain, I guess? Chris, what will the order of today's draft be?

Okay, we might as well go, I'll go first and then go to the right. Dave, Sean, Ian. Makes sense. Hot corner. Alright. Beautiful. Well, with that in mind, Chris, you have the first pick in the characters from the television

program Seinfeld, All Fantasy Everything draft. Before you do that, we're going to take a short break This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel If you want to learn a new language The best way is to Uproot your entire life, you drop Everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country

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listening to me yell that thing i just yelled man there's there's what i really i i know how hungover you are and I really appreciate that because your brain just went and hit every side of the inside of your skull when you said that it's a startling noise wow that was great

every time I hear that crows fly off from a tree nearby so Chris you have the first pick you are now on the clock what will the first pick be? oh boy it seems crazy. This is so tough. Shaggy Tudor?

I'm going to go... I'm going to go with Putty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like the first character that I remembered remembering. That was the first one that really made an impact on me. That dude is hilarious. He was the reason that I went back

when I first remembered Seinfeld after having been obsessed with it the first time. He was the one I went back and torrented all the episodes that he was in. Yeah. I know I have seasons four and nine because those are the seasons he's in.

For those who don't know, that's Elaine's boyfriend at one point. Yeah. Patrick Warburton. Two and ten big. High five. High five. I'll come back later. We'll make out.

Unbelievably funny. Every scene that he's in, every line that he has is funny. I love when they go to like that. There's that New Jersey Devils game and he's all like, oh yeah, face paint.

It's like the best. Oh, your face. There's the one episode that ends with him.'s all dressed up in devil face paint. It's the best. There's the one episode that ends with him like he walks in wearing the 8-ball jacket. He's like, she's like, is that an 8-ball? And he's like, yeah, you got a question. You asked the 8-ball.

I wanted one of those jackets so fucking bad. That was a real moment, dude. The leather 8-ball jacket. I would have beat the shit out of somebody for one of those jackets so fucking bad. That was a real moment, dude. The leather eight ball jacket. I would have beat the shit out of somebody for one of those. I'm trying not to exaggerate, but if someone was like, hey, if you go beat the shit out of that kid,

I'll get you an eight ball jacket. I would have done it. You would have kept it and just body shot it. No marks. I want him to be able to go home. I can't tell if you're more Mr. South Dakota or Mr. Clown Posse right now. Mr. Clown Posse,

here's that eight-ball jacket you ordered. Dr. South Dakota or Mr. Clown Posse. Nice to meet you. I'm South Dakota Clown Posse. How are you? Dr. Dr. South Dakota. Magic eight-ball jackets and for some reason Dr. Dr. South Dakota.

Dr. South Dakota is like an off-off-off brand soda. I guarantee you there's a Dr. South Dakota. Dr. South Dakota is like an off, off, off brand. So I guarantee you there's a Dr. Dakota somewhere. Dr. South Dakota. What is it? Well, it's kind of like slice. Is Dr. South Dakota okay? No. No, it isn't.

And I'm never coming back to Runza now. Wow. Man, he also got, there was a line of buddies I will never coming back to Runza now. Wow. Man, he also got... There's a line of putties I will never forget where Elaine, for some reason, is borrowing his car and she's making fun of him for his radio presets. And he just goes, Two and ten, babe.

He's so low-key. He's so fucking funny. Every sentence that he says is funny yeah like five times in one episode yeah yeah oh you're a face painter yeah that's right that's right yeah that's right

you want to get back together alright alright I can do that he's a mechanic, right? I couldn't tell you the episodes or something. He sells cars. He sells Jerry a car.

All of his radio presets. I'm now remembering we're Christian rock. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. He stole my Jesus fish. Oh, putty.

That's a great first pick. Thank you. Dave, time for great first pick. Thank you. Dave, time for your first pick. I mean, I gotta go Newman. Yes. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. I know that's depriving some people of some shit, but Newman, man.

Oh, yeah, dude. He might be my favorite character in the whole show. There's a scene. Rude always brings us up. There's a scene where Wayne Knight just comes cooking around a corner. He's running. He is so fast. He is. I can't remember the episode, but Wayne Knight just comes cooking around a corner. He's running. He is so fast. I can't remember the episode, but he just comes

tearing ass around this corner and you're like, that dude? Him and Kramer are running from something. Yeah, he can fucking run. I had no idea. Wayne Knight might be the most out of shape looking dude. Especially back then. Yeah, totally. He's fully round.

He's a completely spherical person. He's got a fat head, too. His body, when you look at him, he's not that fat, but his head is so fat. His head is like a big ham. He looks like a snowman. Yeah, he's like a short little dude.

He's very snowman. And he's got a short gait. So when he's fast, it's like... Yeah. He sounds like a like a mouse there's that whole there's a while in the show where oh yeah dude there's a while in the show where every time kramer shows up newman's there they become this sort of like inseparable pair that's going on adventures they're always schem scheming too. That's the best part.

Isn't there a point where they like, there's an episode where they say that Keith Hernandez spit on them? They do like a JFK analysis of the whole thing. The footage of that is so funny. And then they reenact it in Seinfeld's apartment.

You know, and he's like... And Jerry's being the prosecutor. Yeah. And Wade and I, but he's like playing into it. And Jerry's being the prosecutor. Yeah. And way nice, but he's like playing into it. There had to be a second. And you recoiled. That's right. And then they show the footage and Kramer just like he got shot. When Newman's interrogating, I think Jerry,

but when they're in the mail room, like hot in here, isn't it? He's like, I'm actually pretty good. And Newman's just sweating his balls off. The whole postal service angle is so funny, too. Oh, man. Doesn't he...

Does he have that when Costanza is like naked, the picture of him, the like boudoir photography that he does. Doesn't Newman have that for some reason? I think so, yeah. Like some post office? Yes. Like interrogation room?

That's so funny. Postal workers, aren't you the guys who go crazy and then go back to work and shoot the whole thing up? Sometimes. He's so fucking funny. Yeah. How much he hates Jerry and will like show up at the door but they respect each other a little bit yeah like enough to be common they have to yeah yeah that element of the show where almost every episode one of them says the other's

name with extreme hatred yeah jerry yeah hello Newman. And they live in the same building, right? Yeah. It's on the bottom floor. He's got like a dungeon. I'm trying to remember some of his like I can't remember any of his like postal service elements of episodes. You know what I mean?

I remember for sure there's, I can't remember why, but George was relying on him to be serving the mail and it's raining and he's not and george goes over and he's like why aren't you at work and he's like it's raining and he's like what do you mean in the rain or snow or sleep it's the first one and he loses his mind he's like i don't work in the rain it's fucking hilarious it's funny about you talking about how athletic he is because like kramer kind of like bigs him up every now and then he climbed trees like a ringtail lemur

he's a fantastic tennis player that's great Newman Cannon. That's so fucking funny. Great. We all know this episode like the one with the soup. Yes, the situation. The way he lines up for it is so funny. It's like so orderly. Everyone else is but he gets it.

The sidestep. He's so official. Look at Tony. And then moves down. Yeah, that's right. Damn, dude. One of the funniest things I've ever heard. I keep remembering that episode with Kramer where they

Oh, what's that chicken place open the next door and it gets all tan? Oh, yeah. And when Newman sees him, he sees him as like a baked turkey or something like that. Yeah, he's in the hot tub and Newman's like putting vegetables in there and stuff, isn't he? Yeah. Wait, that's different than the one where he gets all tan.

Oh, it is different? No, no. That is the one where he gets all tan. The chicken one is where he can't sleep. Is the chicken where the chicken... That's right. And then Jerry goes like, I'll sleep in your apartment. And then Jerry's just cracked out.

And they turn and switch roles. Yes. Jerry becomes Kramer. That's right. Terrific. Oh, God, this show's so good. It really is. If you haven't watched Seinfeld yet, fucking get on that show. Yeah, it's there for you.

Sean Sane, Clown Jordan? Is that your first pick? I'm gonna pick Frank Costanza. Oh, shit! You motherfucker! Fuck you! That was gonna be my pick! I had a feeling he's... He might be, like, the best character that's ever been in a show. I mean, he's perfect at that like the best character that's ever been in a show I mean he's

perfect at that perfect at that role you stop short that's my move Jerry Stiller is one of my favorite actors of all time he's perfect he's so fucking perfect it's just that juxtaposition if you will between him and George is just Jerry Stiller is one of my favorite actors of all time, dude. He's perfect. He's so fucking perfect. It's just that juxtaposition, if you will,

between him and George is just... Yeah. Prenuminal. Prenuminal top to bottom. Prenuminal. Dude, he's so ridiculously funny in that role. There's so many iconic episodes that he's a huge part of. Dude, Festivus. Well, Festivus, dude, that's like...

People still celebrate that. Yeah, totally. Like, he literally created a holiday. He used to go to a Basky Fest and now do, like the bro. That's like people still celebrate that. Yeah, totally. Like he literally created a lot to go to a basket fest to now do like, right. Yeah, right. He's so yeah, the fucking the bro episode with the bra. Oh, the bro. It's a bro. The man's

ear. Bro. That's right. Because he's running real hard for bro, right like yeah that's what he wants it's the man's it is not it's the bro he can just go like zero to 60 so quick and it's fun i've never really met a person like that maybe that's why i like so funny where he can just be so pissed and then's fun. I've never really met a person like that. So funny. Where he can just be so pissed and then just go back to being normal immediately. He's terrific.

My dad's a little bit like that. I know Carmel. Frank Costanza's like a way blown out version of that. But like, he will go like to 60, but he's more like 60 to 0. But both of them are. The fact that like the Costanzas are clearly Jewish.

But their last name is so Italian. Like, they're so clearly Jews. Nothing has ever been more obvious. But, like, but they're not Jews, which is weird. And Larry David's a Jew, like, the Costanzas are based on. It's just always been interesting to me. You're Jewish, aren't you? 100%. Bar Mitzvah and everything, yeah.

Wow. I think there's proof right behind me, actually. What is that? Wasn't it up there? My Bar Mitzvah certificate? Yeah, I thought that was up there for some reason. It's around here. It's floating around. I hang it in a different room every day to keep you on your toes.

I'm going to shower one time. Wait till we confirm with the cold reality that i'm jewish dude um i am i okay i just looked him up to try to find a list of episodes that he was in yeah i'm not remembering this maybe one of you will one of his old jobs was united states chef during the korean war no that one's so funny he gets everybody sick that's right it's so funny. He gets everybody sick. That's right. It's so funny. The one where they're selling like, or no, George is selling his clothes. The raincoat episode?

Yeah, yeah. Fuck, I mean, those three, those first three picks were so strong. I feel like my first one's not going to be quite as good. Well, I don't know. They're all getting taken. The thing is, they're all going to go. There's about 20 that I think are all going to go. Oh, and by the way,

we decided we're not taking the core four, right? Or is that in play? As of now. Sure. Yeah. We're just taking like satellite characters. If it gets a pinch, you know, but yeah, I got a list without any of the four on them. Alright, great. My first pick is going to be Jay Peterman. Yes. God damn it. I fucking love him.

I thought I had round three. That was for sure. So, So dope. I wanted to pick him first, but I decided not to. I feel like maybe I should have. I remember the episode. Elaine like fucks the company up in some horrible way

and she has to find him and when she finds him he's like doing heroin in a hut somewhere. Ayahuasca with the como jojo people. I'm going to need to see that hat. Oh yeah! Doesn't Kramer, is it Peter?

Kramer sells Peterman his stories? Am I crazy? Kramer wants them back. He wants to buy them back and Peterman's like, well no. Kramer just can't do anything without his stories. Yeah, he's not like a bar trying to tell stories. He's got nothing. So good.

Oh, that's an amazing idea. His name's Jacopo. Dude. Yeah, the J is an initial. Jacopo Peterman. Those little reveals on that show like Cosmo, you know, when you find that out, you're just like, holy Cosmo. And Elaine's just like, your show like Cosmo, you know, when you find that out, you're just like, holy shit.

And Elaine's just like, your name is Cosmo? I work with a Cosmo. Cat's out of the bag. Now you know. Have a laugh. I work with a Cosmo, and then our friend Louie, who's been on the podcast a couple times, named his kid Cosmo right off the bat,

and then changed it. Oh, really? Yeah. To Jack. Cosmo. That's a big decision to make. That's sick, though. And then changed it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. To Jack. Alright. Because Cosmo, that's a big decision to make. That is a big name. That's like smoking while you're pregnant. If you wanted me named Cosmo,

that's something you gotta do around the age of 15, 16. You know what I mean? My old boss at Hy-Vee was named Merlin. Merlin! He went by MJ, but it was Merlin James. Merlin. Merlin Olsen. Merlin James Klockenga. This is a quote from Jay Peterman when he got caught. When Elaine found him doing heroin, he said,

that's right, Elaine. White Lotus. Yam Yam. Shanghai Sally. Yam Yam. Yam Yam. Yam Yam. I like that. He's Elaine's boss, for those that don't he owns the j peterman company which is like a ll bean basically yeah yeah totally they sort of touch that it's like maybe outerwear sometimes

yeah but yeah it's walking sticks and stuff like that yeah when you get to the chapter about my romantic escapades feel free to throw yourself into the mix. She's like ghostwriting his book for him, right? Yeah. Feel free to throw yourself in. Yeah, that rules. He's got like that cake from the Kennedy's wedding or something like that that somebody eats.

Oh my God, it's so funny. I forgot about the cake from the Kennedy's wedding. That's right. Yeah, he's played by John O'Hurley is the actor. You know, I've never seen that dude in anything else. Probably is set for life, I'm sure. But what's great about Seinfeld, like a lot of the characters we've mentioned,

I mean, like Putty's very understated, but like Jay Peterman, Newman, they're all just like- Completely cartoony. They're clowns. Yeah, exactly. Like all these guys, they're all just like completely cartoony. They're clowns. Yeah, exactly. All these guys, they're not grounded in reality whatsoever, and it

still works in this world. And there's nothing that's done that really that well, again, where you're just like, you're invested in all these characters, and they're all like cartoons. But it was a prime time show. Totally. You know, I didn't watch it when it was on. Me neither. When it was originally airing

my friend Rude loved it and I was like you dork I'm going to go skate I'm not going to watch Seinfeld and yeah I was an idiot but I would leave skate sessions to go watch Dawson's Creek I would do that all the time I remember my friend Mike and I

we left a session to go see the series finale of Dawson's Creek and I still get made fun of for it I'm guessing that's going to ramp up again now that I admitted it. You didn't want to wait. I had it taped. I still went to watch it. Fucking sad, man. I don't jerk off for fun.

For fun, I watched Dawson's Creek. I am in Sean. Damn. J. Peter, my first pick with my second pick. All right, I'm going to take a Stelka stamp. Damn. I was really hoping I'd get the two piece. No, I would have

been nice. She's so fucking funny, dude. I mean, so just the perfect mom for George george they definitely made that role for her too because her name the actor's name is estelle yeah uh estelle harris i looked her up earlier she looks like an estelle yeah totally good big time name for that was one of those like uh hot names and probably like the 30s or whatever when people were kind of waiting for it to come back estelle's good dude yeah dude. Yeah. I don't mind it. Estelle.

My grandma had some friends named Estelle. Rose, you got a lot back then. Uh-huh. Pearl. My grandma's name was Helen. Helen. Old lady names, man. Yeah.

Irene Glazer, that was my great grandma's name. Irene Glazer? Yeah. Wow. My movie was named Adele, which was another old Jewish lady name. Big time. Big time. My grandma's name was Lydia, but that which is another old Jewish lady name. Big time. Big time. My grandma's name was Lydia,

but that's not entirely an old lady name, but she did have friends that were named shit like Millicent. What the fuck happened to Millicent? Millicent sounds like you're doing something wrong. He's been Millicent. Yeah, he took a trip to Kurdistan. He He's been Millicent. Yeah, he took a trip to Curtis and he came back very Millicent. Mm-hmm. Yeah, dude, it's still just still...

This is one of the only shows that can make me laugh just as hard as I've always laughed at it. Absolutely. It's still... Different reasons, nostalgia or whatever, but still... Just earlier, we were watching one, Che one cheating as Dave wants to call it. I did. That was me.

As Chris wants to call it. But I call it just enjoying some fine television. And I was cheating, laughing my little, my little took a sock. Her voice is like perfect. It's perfect. When her and when they fight. Yeah, totally. Sorry.

Where were you? Where were you, George? It's like a fork in a blender. Her voice is like... I also love this little, like, she's never laughed. Oh, yeah. Doesn't Seinfeld try to go run material on her to get her laugh? She, like, hates it.

So funny. Never laughed. I also love how much she hates the Seinfelds, like his parents. Oh, it's so funny. Oh, never laugh. I also love how much he hates the Seinfelds, like his parents. Yeah. Both of them. They think they're better than us. If the Seinfelds are going, we're going.

We're going. Man, they're so nice, too. His parents are so... Jerry's parents are so nice. They just want to be friends with George's parents. Morty. That's a good old guy named Morty. When George like in the hand model episode

when he has to like go back move in with him. It's so funny. Forgot about the hand model. That's great. So that's my second pick. Estelle Costanza. Sean time for your second pick. I forgot. Oh Steinbrenner. Niceelle Costanza. Sean, time for your second pick. I forgot. Oh, Steinbrenner. Nice.

Damn it. Very good pick. That's going to be my next one for sure. I got worried someone was going to pick it after you picked Estelle. I thought maybe I had some sleeper cells, but yeah, dude, it's just first of all, shout out to Larry David. Had to get taken, but it's just so funny. He doesn't... The fact that you never see him, except the back

of his head. The back of his head, yeah. Oh, it's the best. Voiced by Larry David, of course. Yeah, so quick talking. Yeah. And I like... I'm not going to name any other ones, but I like the characters in the show

that are real people. It's funny. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are a few of them. Yeah, totally. There are a few. Doesn't he trade George or is he like trading George

for the Tyson chicken? Yes. Yes. So funny. Oh, man. This is... Every time we list someone i'm i'm looking at quotes this shit kills me dude george the word around the office is that you're a communist it's just such a perfect role for larry david it's just larry david with a deeper voice what is the thing that george gets for him that he loves?

It's like a food that he gets him and he can't get enough of it. Oh, it's the calzone. The calzone. Oh, yeah. I need more calzone. George. George.

And then George can't get it, right? I can smell it. There's one here. Where's it coming from? There's one in the building. He goes in with Kramer who wants to dry his shirt so they get in a fight or something. Or does he pay with coins?

That's the same one as the rain one with Newman earlier. George, where have you been cracking up under the pressure? Can't cope. Can't stand the heat. Spit the bit. What was the last one? Spit the bit. Spit the bit?

He says that to him in a hot tub. I don't remember that episode. Oh, my God. Yeah, the chicken one is where he wants, like, he's going to trade George to Tyson chicken in exchange for all the food Yankee Stadium being chicken, including an alcoholic form of chicken. God damn it.

An alcoholic form of chicken. Incredible. Oh, he's so fucking funny. Yeahry david voiced him oh man i can't tell who oh the back of a guy named lee bear was the guy who played him wow yeah dude i just thought of a really fun pick i'm excited oh okay all right i'm pretty pumped so well as long as it doesn't take it right now with his second pick alright my next one

I think you're going to understand why this is two in one and I think you can't really do it without two in one but argue with me please I'm going to go with the gay street toughs you gotta have them both yeah yeah yeah we are taking it somewhere

when he goes we are taking it somewhere. That shit. When he goes, we are taking it. No, was you talking to him or was you talking to me? Because you must have been talking to one of us. Who was you talking to? I don't want to wear the ribbon. Well, where are you going with that armor? We are taking it. Oh, that's so funny.

Was you talking to him or was you talking to me? Just in Kramer's grill, dude. In it. Just punks him out so hard. Kramer gets so flustered. So flustered. So good. What does it look like we're doing? We're taking it. We're taking it.

I love how many... Who was you talking to? The way that they do anger on the show is the best man. The way amazing. Yeah. Everyone who flips out,

it's still somewhat impotent. You know what I mean? They never have a, none of the characters are scary. No, they get so mad.

It's all impotent rage. Yeah. Yeah. I have a feeling we're going to touch on one later. We'll, we'll continue this

conversation. It's Bob and Cedric are their names. Oh, but apparently Cedric also says his name is I have a feeling we're going to touch on one later We'll continue this conversation It's Bob and Cedric are their names But apparently Cedric also says his name is Ray Yeah that's what I saw too The actors are Yul Vasquez And John Paragon And I've seen John Paragon in things Yeah for sure

What has he been in? Oh the first episode was the Soup Nazi Interesting Like they don't ever come back around right? We don't ever see them again? What has he been in? Oh, the first episode is the Soup Nazi. Interesting. Interesting. Like they don't ever come back around, right? We don't ever see him again? They're in other episodes. Are they?

Yeah, the armoire and then there's the AIDS walk where Kramer won't wear the ribbon. He's doing the walk, but he won't wear a ribbon. He won't wear the ribbon. That's right. Yeah. And people call Bob and Cedric over and they come deal with it.

So they're like known street toughs in this fictional world. I wasn't even on my list, man. That is a great poll. That is a good poll. Not on my list either. I completely agree with the two for one pick. This guy, Yul Vasquez,

has been in so many things. He looks super familiar. Like a good character actor type person? Yeah, he's one of the guys in Narcos Mexico. That show is so good. So good. Pedro Pascal, The Mandalorian, up in there. Totally. And that show's great.

Yeah, it really is. A lot of people coming at me pretty hard with this Yoda information that I don't necessarily want yet. Oh, you haven't seen the show yet? I have. I've seen all the episodes, but... Yoda information. Three, two, but Yoda information. Three, two,

one. Yoda. Yoda. Oh, speaking of which for the show, I like that. You know who I danced with? Who'd you dance with?

Yor. Laker girl. Laker girl. Ladies and gentlemen, go to the test stand, get some ovens on sale, hot dogs on sale. No,

Yor. Laker girl. Ladies and gentlemen, go to the test stand, get some open, it's on sale, hot dogs on sale. No, you're Laker girl. Have you been to a Laker game? No. So they're in arena announcer is this guy named Lawrence Tantor and he announces everything. He kind of talks like this in general, like a little bit,

right? Like $2 off hot dogs every stand. He's like, next Saturday the Lakers take on the Oklahoma City Thunder and now give it up for your Laker girl I never noticed it I think we were sitting here and you were just like that dude says Laker girls really fucked up

and since then I'm just like people have to have said that but I've never heard anyone bring it up it is astonishing how creepy it is. It's like he goes and changes into a velvet robe. It's real weird. It's real weird energy. Sharpie,

it's time for your second and third picks. Oh, goodness gracious. Okay, well then. Okay, I'm pretty sure, as far as I know, as far as I looked up anyway, this guy, his name is seth it's jerry's friend who he runs into on the street and jerry's like what are you doing he's like oh i have a meeting and jerry's like i blow it off come to lunch with me and he's like

okay and he goes to lunch and then they're at lunch and he's like that was a pretty important meeting i blew off like i'm probably gonna get fired and he's like what you should have gone to the fucking meeting and he doesn't and he gets fired and then he ends up working at that uh kenny rogers roasters which is right across the stretch right and he gets fired from that because of george's hat falling apart in everybody's food and it used to work at like a big like banker like exactly yeah so yeah his name is seth and he's also i found out through looking and stuff his name is uh mark roberts who is like i guess in the 90s or whatever is a big time stand-up did i think it was like seven times did the late show or something. Oh, wow. I used a stud. And then he went on and created Mike and Molly.

No way. No way. That is pretty. That's fun. Good for Mark Roberts. Yeah. What a fun little journey. Yeah.

Yeah. So Seth. Now he's like a mega millionaire. And you can think back about the time he was like, had a bit part on Seinfeld. That's real fun. That is. What a good dude.

That would be such a fun feather in your cap if you were a successful person to be like, and also I was on Seinfeld once. Oh my God. Yeah. It'd be so cool to be able to say that. in like one of the funniest episodes yeah oh so funny not to keep bringing this new show up but like bobby lee's the other comedian on it bring it up and he was on uh he was on an episode of curb your enthusiasm and i'm so fucking jealous oh my god that would be so fun that would be the coolest that's like a fuck it that show i've only seen like two episodes

of and oh it like occurred to me recently how crazy that is. Oh my God. But then I realized well now I just have this wealth of amazing comedy I can watch whenever I really need it. It's a real gift. I've probably seen every episode like three times. The best thing

my favorite thing about Curb is it gave Seinfeld a chance to like redo their finale almost because people have beef with the finale. I don't mind the finale of Seinfeld. I to redo their finale almost. Because people have beef with the finale. I don't mind the finale of Seinfeld. I didn't mind it either. What's the beef? People just think it was stupid. From what I've gathered, a lot of people hate

the series finale of Seinfeld. You've heard that, right? Yeah, of course. People didn't like it when it came out. I thought it was great. They thought it was a flop. I loved it. But it was like, what are you going to do?

You've got to land the plane somehow. But in Curb, they go do another reunion episode of Seinfeld, and it's kind of like a new finale, like a second shot at a finale. They're like doing a table read. And it's because you think about the stuff that wasn't in Seinfeld, like wasn't around then.

Oh, modern. Yeah. Because they're like, what is it? Jerry walks away from his car, checks to see that it's locked, walks a little farther, checks again. Like it's just how what he would be like. And then you could picture that in Seinfeld

if he was like doing the automatic lock. George invents an app that finds you the nearest acceptable bathroom. Dude, one of my favorite, one of the quotes I remember the most from the show is when George says, I'm at the corner of first and first, Jerry.

It's the nexus of the universe. It's the nexus of the universe. It's the nexus of the universe, Jerry. So about the finale. So Larry David left the show after the sixth season. I didn't know that. Oh, is that true? Yeah. So he like.

I had no idea. Got into with NBC people and like left the show. Oh, wow. After the fifth or sixth season. I forget which. And then came and like left the show. Oh, wow. After the fifth or sixth season, I forget which, and then came back and wrote the finale. And people hated it. And he was real salty about how he came back

and wrote this episode. And they cover that a little bit in the Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yeah. Where like Jason Alexander is like, it was terrible. He's like, it wasn't terrible. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't terrible. It was great.

Seth, that's a great fucking pick. Yeah. This wasn't terrible. It wasn't terrible. It was great. Seth, that's a great fucking pick. Yeah. This is getting fun. I'm going to bounce on the handlebars a little bit. Do it.

Do it. Excellent. And your third pick? My, ooh, God, this is getting tough because they're, I don't know. I'm going to go with.

It's because you're having a stroke. Barry Derrison. Barry Derrison. Ebay. Ebay. Boy, we got a good kick out of that last night. It's terrible.

Jackie Childs, the lawyer. Yeah, I should have known. I wouldn't get back to me. I mean, fuck. He's just the funniest. So funny every second. I mean, obviously he was making fun of the Johnny Cochran.

Yeah, the OJ fiasco. What a fun social commentary. So funny. So over the top. So ridiculous. Isn't there an episode where he boned one of Jerry's, like a girl that Jerry broke up with? I don't want to name her, but didn't he?

I don't know. Without diving into specifics in case anyone picked, never mind. I don't know. Without diving into specifics in case anyone picked... Never mind. I don't know. They show him in bed with a girl, and I think it was a girl that Jerry was trying to get with and couldn't for some reason. Oh, it's the one we were just watching, Sidra.

Oh, is that what it is? He gets a crush on her. Oh, that's right. They're real and they're fantastic. In the last episode, actually, yeah. God, that's great. That's right. Doesn't it mean it's when Kramer gets really into smoking,

Jackie's house helps him sue the cigar company or something like that. Oh, and Jerry? They're real and they are fantastic. That's right. Oh, what a... That's great. We were just watching. They have this odd

beef with breast implants in that episode. And I don't quite get it. I don't know. I don't think I would ever care. Oh, that's true. There was a lot of weirdness with dating and Jerry in that. Oh, yeah. I don't have a lot of critiques about the show because it's really not, but he gives himself the most attractive girlfriends.

Of course. And they're all the time. Every episode. Totally. I know successful comedians. That's not how it goes. Who's this? Sarah Silverman? Terry Hatcher? Yeah. That's right. Terry Hatcher. I know successful comedians. That's not how it goes. Who's that? Sarah Silverman? Terry Hatcher? Yeah. That's right. Terry Hatcher.

I forgot. I think Sarah's with, well, God damn it, I don't want to say other characters, but I think she dates Kramer. That's the Jimmy Legs one.

She's got the Jimmy Legs. After the show came out, People vs. OJ, I watched pretty much that whole trial i went back and watched the actual footage oh yeah and they're he's very close to johnny cochran like just how he acted and everything oh yeah it's crazy what johnny cochran if the how that if the gloves don't fit you must acquit dude because it rhymes that was it it rhymed you're like you're you're a real lawyer. The most powerful lawyer in the country. We just got to make some shit rhyme.

Who played Johnny? What's his name? Who played Johnny Cochran in The People vs. OJ? Not going to happen right now for me. All right. Well, sorry, dude. Let me borrow your car for a while and wake up. I got to wake up. Where are the keys? Where were you? I just drove around the block.

Where's my great Milenko tape? Just a quick drive. All right. I need my great Milenko tape, $100 bill, and the keys. Boy. You're coming with. You know, a little thing about the great Milenko tape. It was purple. There's that. I think Tat. It was purple. Okay.

So there's that. Dude, I have a tattoo idea for you. Riddle box was green, I want to say. That makes sense. That checks out. Nothing you could say about ICP is not going to check out. Yeah. I believe everything that somebody would say about him.

Shaggy Tudor tried to... This sounds like I'd be making it up. He tried to dropkick Fred Durst and missed one time. This was just like a year ago. A year ago? He ran out with no makeup on and tried to dropkick Fred Durst. But they're friends, too, right? Like it was a funny dropkick.

And then he fell and I think Fred Durst called him the F word. It's like, all this checks out. These people never stop being like this, huh? This all sounds just about right. Dude, I think that you should, if you want to get a tattoo, I think you should get knuckle tats that say Sean Sane. Yes! Alright, Laura.

Availed on the wedding ring idea. I ended up getting a tattoo on my ring finger. It's an A. And my seven other fingers. I also had my thumbs removed because there were no letters to put on them. Yeah, Jackie Charles is amazing.

He's one of those guys in Kramer's Orbit. Because that's like a whole other sub-universe is the people in Kramer's Orbit. We might get to more of them. Dave, what would be your third pick? Uncle Leo. Oh, yeah. Damn it.

You know, Jeffrey. He works for the Parks Department, right? Jeffrey. I was reading about him, and it reminded me that in whatever episode it is that Jerry has a fever dream about Uncle Leo trying to kill him or whatever. Yeah.

In that dream, Uncle Leo is in jail and on one, this is why I thought of the tattoo thing, on one knuckle, on one set of knuckles, he has the word Jerry and on the other set of knuckles, he has hello. Jerry, hello! Hello! Hi, Uncle Leo.

Yeah, that's his whole thing, yelling, Jerry uh jerry hello dude also in the first episode that he's in uh it's the episode where mania dies and uh right before she dies jerry tells her that he hated people who had ponies when they grow up and and she was like, I had a pony. That's right. He's thick, lustrous man. We all had ponies. I had a pony. And then Leo's like, she died. And they all think that it's because Jerry told her that he hates ponies.

His eyebrows alone are like fucking... Unbelievable. Legendary eyebrows. It's ridiculous. For sure. That's another great thing Seinf seinfeld did is they would bring in the like the like uncle leo newman's another great example these characters who just visually were very funny yeah absolutely they looked like fun and they look like weird the weirdos you see running around new york city or really anything but like especially new york new york where i'm like i'm friends it was a lot

of very attractive people yeah Yeah. You know, but on Seinfeld, you get these fucking weirdos. Great casting. Dude, it's funny. My mom's watching. I know I've mentioned this. She's watching Friends

for the first time ever since she's had all these surgeries. And I was commenting. I was like, it's crazy how much that would cost, that apartment.

She's like, what? How much? And I was like, I don't know, like four grand or something. She's like, it just floored her.

And I'm like, that's how expensive shit is. Not in Sioux Falls. I mean, in Sioux Fallsored her. And I'm like, that's how expensive shit is not in Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls. Sure. $600. You get that spot. But four grand is a house. Yeah. Four grand a month. Four grand is like the fucking football stadium. Oh, you're saying like

we found a crib for 55 grand. And like there was a tiny little part of me that was like, God, we could buy this with five of us. $55,000? $55,000 for a nice house and a good location in Sioux Falls. Oh my God. I could not. Yeah, that's probably pissing you off.

Yikes. Fucking LA is such an insane place to live. All right, Sean, tell me your third pick. All right, now, based on how Dave rolled, tell me if I can do this. I'm going to pick the son of a bitch guys from Texas. Can I pick them? I like that.

Can I pick them as one pick? Who are those guys? The sons of bitches that George is trying to woo. And they always say bastard and son of a bitch the whole time. And then George is like walking down the street and he's talking to him on the phone. Or no, he's in his office. And I think Steinbrenner hears him, but George is just like, you tell those sons of bitches

that no goddamn Yankees come to Texas. And they're just getting shit-faced on the plane. Are they from the Rangers or something like that? Something like that. Because they're from Texas and they're all in the bar just getting hammered, like doing shots and stuff. Stuff you didn't see on Seinfeld a bunch.

And they're like smoking cigars, swearing like, I don't know. They just are hilarious to me because they're very different than most people on that show just those boys who are like you son of a bitch how the hell are you because that it reminded me of just like how everyone i know is with each other yeah like how we're all mean to each other but it's all very loving yeah and those dudes just that is such a fucking funny episode you tell that bastard you tell those sons of bitches that no bastard, no Yankees.

Just in his office screaming. And then whoever busts him thinks that he's serious. Yeah. And he's not. He's just giving these dudes a little rest. They're just on the plane

all crowded around the phone. Whiskey and cigars and shit. It's so tight. Just total Texas good old boys. Man. But yeah, there's three of them,

I think. And I can't remember any of their names. Dude, I'm going to look up this episode because I don't think I've seen it. Are you serious? Yeah, I don't. It's a real good one.

Yeah. They are, because they're just such a curveball. When you meet them, you're like, whoa, these dudes are going hard in the paint. Right, man. Oh, wow. That's exciting.

I can't wait. The son of a bitch guys from Texas. Because I'm like you. I didn't see the episode. I think I saw the end of the last season because i remember seeing the finale when it aired and i had started watching reruns because it was like simpsons then seinfeld late at night so i mostly saw them through reruns so i never saw any of them in order until i got well yeah that i remember it was a big deal when they came out on dvd and that was when like people

were getting dvds so that i had all of them for Christmas presents. And that one, I got heavy into it. Cool, yeah. You didn't have Netflix or anything. You just had to throw a DVD in, and that stayed in for months. Yeah, totally. I remember selling my DVDs. I was so bummed on that and Entourage.

I had every season of books. And I thought it made me look so dope having a full series. Oh, yeah. You'll notice every single season of Entourage is up on that shelf. So we can fuck down here or upstairs. So I don't have any room for books. Unfortunately. Actually, I don't read.

These are my books. Cinematic books, if you will. Here's the quote. He's like, George is like, hey, you bastards. And Jerry's like, hey, how was the meeting? I really like, uh, George is like, Hey, you bastards. And Jerry's like, Hey, how was the meeting? I really liked those sons of bitches.

Sons of bitches. Yeah. That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. Yeah. It's like, boy,

that's son of a bitch. Boggs can really hit. Huh? I love it. George is so, yeah, that's how they talk. Everyone's a bastard.

You're a son of a bitch. He loves it. Oh, that's a great pick. That was the one that I just thought you said something that sparked that idea, so thank you. I appreciate it. Of course. Yeah, yeah. You son of a bitch. My pleasure.

You son of a bitch. My third pick is going to be Lieutenant Bookman. Oh, who's Lieutenant? So it's when Jerry has... He checked out Tropica of... Or was it George? Ierry has he checked out tropica uh or was it door i forget they checked out like tropica cancer ages ago when they were like in high school from the library and never returned it and then they send this like library detective after them and he's like he

like talks like he's in dragnet yeah i never never even... His name's Lieutenant Bookman? Yes. He was on my list as well. I'm pretty bummed. I don't remember this character. I don't know who this one is either, but that is... Really?

It's from the episode The Library. It's great. That is just genius writing, Lieutenant Bookman. He's played by Philip Baker Hall. What's my problem? Punks like you.

That's my problem. And you better not screw up again, Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be over you like a pit bull on a poodle. Oh, here's another one. I remember when the librarian was a much older woman. Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't have a private

life. Okay, I remember this character. Yeah, yeah. That's tight. All, I remember this character. Yeah, yeah. That's tight. All right, here's his long speech. Okay, well, let me tell you something, funny boy. You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library?

Well, that may not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before. Flashy, making the scene. Flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint,

Junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. But what about that kid sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch of the local library, finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the cat in the hat and the five Chinese brothers? Doesn't he deserve better?

Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Well, maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld. Maybe that's how you get your kicks, you and your good time buddies. Well, I got a flash for you, joy boy.

Party time's over. That is so tight. It's amazing. Whoever the fuck wrote that is amazing. Yeah, he's like this hard-boiled film noir detective, but he's a library cop. It's so fucking funny. And I'm saying, and it works in that show perfectly,

shit like that. Nobody else can do that. They just can't pull it off. To throw in like a Dragnet type character. Yeah. They just let the show exist in this weird half reality.'s really weird yeah every character they create is one note and they're just like they must just tell the actors here's your note hit it hard over and over again it would have been so fun to play one of those characters yeah oh my god to be like a fucking

caricature there's an episode where patten oswalt is in it he's like a video store clerk for half a second yeah and they must have just, you can tell almost that he's terrified as a young actor. Who wouldn't? I mean, totally. But he literally just, they must have just told him, act like you don't have a soul. I think that's what they told every small character because he's like,

yeah, yeah. Like a way that no one acts in life at all. Yeah, completely. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Be a son of a bitch. Do you have this movie? No, no, we don't miss a video store.

I've missed them. Oh yeah. They were great. Walking around. Favorite thing was take like going there with a girl and just picking out a movie. I loved it more than watching the movie. I would have loved to have been my age when video stores were still around.

It's like when they were, I just wanted to see like whatever the big movie was when I was a kid. And now where I'm like, oh, I kind of want to scope out these movies, but you've got to check six different apps. It's only streaming on Showtime or something weird like that. I wanted to see Murder by Numbers

really bad for like a year, and I refused to rent it on iTunes. You know that movie? Gosling and Michael Pitt, Sandra Bullock. It's fucking awesome. But it's not a movie I'm going to rent. If I were at a video store and I saw it, I'd be like, I'm watching Murder by Numbers tonight. That's what I'm doing. Get that and two other ones up.

Get some eggnog. I almost bought some eggnog earlier and it reminded me. I walked in here one time with milk. I just had a half gallon of milk and Ian's like, you buy milk? He was just floored. Blew my mind, dude. It wasn't even for cereal. Just to pour a glass

of milk? That's fucking weird. I drink, I love eggnog. There will be some eggnog in here tonight. I like nog too. I'm like, don't get me wrong. I enjoy like one to two cups of nog a year. I was talking a big game earlier, but I might actually mix some with some whiskey later tonight. I was talking that whole I don't think I'm going to do anything tonight. Game a little knock.

Sure. That is Sean Zane. Time for my fourth pick. And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take crazy Joe Davola. Damn. OK, so that's what I was talking about. Joe Davola is actually scary. Yes.

There's the one where he dents someone's helmet. He's like, Joe DiVola did that. Like, what? That could kill someone. So Joe DiVola is the only person in there who's legit scary. I knew that's who you're talking about.

Yeah. When he corners Elaine and doesn't let her out of his... Oh, that is scary. And she has to like... What is she, pepper spray him? That's fucking gnarly, dude. She runs out.

Yeah, she definitely does something. Yeah. Yeah, she pepper sprays him, I think. And that's the only person in that show where I'm like, dude's fucking pretty raw. He's in the Pagliacci episode. Yeah. Oh, Pagliacci.

That's right. And he's like listening to Pagliacci in his apartment, bench pressing and crying. Yeah, totally. He's the clown, right? Yeah. Yeah, he dresses up as the clown at the opera. Yeah, he's the clown right yeah yeah he dresses up with the clown of the opera yeah he's terrifying i remember thinking even because we just watched it not that long ago and i was even watching it

like man i'm kind of scared for those guys knowing knowing nothing happens with him what does happen to joe devola does he die or something why does he never fuck anyone up yeah i don't know he just disappears right there's got to be something. They wouldn't just let that go. Yeah, does he come back in the finale? They must bring him back in the finale. They brought everybody in the finale. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, he's got to be in there. He's got to testify. Yeah, crazy Joe DiBola. I'm looking him up. He said you're next, Seinfeld. One of the times Kramer calls him Seinfeld. It's always funny to me when he calls him Seinfeld. He's coming you're next, Seinfeld. One of the times Kramer calls him Seinfeld. It's always funny to me when he calls him Seinfeld. He's coming for you next, Seinfeld.

He's based on Larry David's longtime friend and TV producer, Joe Davola. That's so funny. I love that shit. It's an actual name. That's hilarious, dude. Some dude Larry David was friends with. What the fuck did I just click?

Oh, my computer's being weird. I honestly can't believe he made, he made it this far. Believe it, bro. I can't believe it. Oh, he has his page. Oh, that's right. She was dating his psychiatrist. Yeah.

Sean, what's your fourth pick? I'm going to pick Brett. You guys know who Brett was? Maybe. Anybody? He's the Desperado guy. Oh, God, that's right. every time he hears desperado so like okay yeah and then she likes it the first time because he hears desperado and he just like looks

away and starts crying and yeah his face is just like oh but every time she's so like every time he hears desperado he can't do anything he down and cries. It's just one of those... It's such a funny song to be moved by. Ridiculous character. Yes, dude. God damn it, that's such a good thing. Desperado. It's so funny.

She tries to pick her own with witchy woman, right? Yeah, and Jerry's like, oh, witchy woman. Oh, witchy woman. Witchy woman. God damn damn it they must have like known somebody who like started crying because of desperation that's what i'm saying like something it feels like if i were to put like smith my friend in a in a show like he's such a he's such a character and you're just like these all have to be based on some sort of reality of course

which is why they're all so funny because some stuff people say, but some stuff you just can't write. It's like that had to come from somewhere. Because that's the funniest song to get like... Yeah. The Eagles? I don't hate the Eagles. By the way, I didn't know they sang it until today when I was looking up characters.

Really? Yeah. I think I found that out right now. I don't... Seriously, I don't think I knew that. Yeah, the Eagles. You're a music guy. Wow. Weird. Did not know seriously. I don't think I knew that guy and you see weird.

Did not know that damn dude. Her name is Brett. That song was big in my rehab. It's a big hit in the rehab.

That is a rehab ass song. Yeah, you better believe it so I can see why people are crying. Harvey come down to dinner.

Desperado's on. I'll be down in one second. I'm not riding fences. Trying to get my head right over here. Dave, time for your fourth pick. Oh man, I'm excited for this. This is, you know, like, I don't know. Some things just stick with you.

Yeah. And you know, I know this is a small character in the canon of the show, but I'm going to go with the bus boy. Do you remember the bus boy? I don't. Okay. In it's in season two. And,

uh, the reason though, the meat, get into it, dude. I'm so, it's funny. Like when we picked this topic,

that was the first guy I thought of over Joe DeVola over uncle Leo. Yeah. And it's literally just because of his mannerisms, but I'll get to that. So it's the, the episode is in the second season. And you'll remember it. George, there's like, while they're talking at the cafe,

something catches on fire at the booth. Yeah. And I think a menu catches on fire. Oh, shit. And they put it out. I was rapping in the booth, dude. Caught on fire. I remember him now. I see he was there. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah um and then the manager comes over and he's

like what happened and they're like oh i don't know i think that the bus boy left the menu too close to the fire and then just like 10 feet away the manager calls the bus boy over and points it george and it's like him and you can't hear what they're saying but he fires the bus boy in front of him very obviously like that guy told on you, so now you're fired. Totally. And George feels fucking terrible. And so he finds the guy's address and goes to his house. And he's just, like, the most intense looking person.

I just have his image burned in my brain. He's just this super intense Hispanic guy. Yeah. Lets him in. And then George, like, very sheepishly apologizes to him. And the guy's like, okay. And then he notices that his cat's gone. Yeah, they went to let his cat out.

They went to apologize, right? He's like, Piquita? That's the name of the cat. He looks for the cat everywhere, and then at the end of that scene, he's like, who left the door open? And they're like, what? Who left the door open?

Yeah. He just starts screaming at him, who left the door open and yeah he just starts screaming at him who left the door open and then they they spend the whole episode looking for his cat and i don't know for whatever reason that fucking character stayed with me man that's great yeah dude that i don't remember that one yeah he is so intense he's just so yeah it's like the character has barely any lines but he the way he stands. And then at the end, I don't know, something happens where he ends up getting his cat back in a new job. They like him.

Cause like an explosion, there's an explosion at the restaurant he got fired from. Right. Or something like that, that like killed a bunch of people. Oh, that's what it was. Yeah.

So they like inadvertently saved his life. That's right. So they thank him. He, yeah, he shows up at Jerry's apartment and he hugs George and thanks him. That's right. That's so rad. That actor's name is they thank him. Yeah, he shows up at Jerry's apartment and he hugs George and thanks him. That's right. That's so rad.

That actor's name is David Labiosa. David Labiosa. Yeah, man. I bet he's been in a bunch of Broadway plays or something like that. Yeah. And like four Law & Order episodes. He's got a real deal headshot,

like a sexy headshot. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those Broadway actors. For sure, one of those for Sean on the fridge. Look at your boy up there. Okay, well, sexier than that. I mean, I'm not sure what you mean.

I'm not, but, you know. You see on the fridge, it's Sean Corden up there. As it is me and Jim Jam right next to each other. As it is. Spring up as it is. It's time for your fourth and final picks as it is a 17 draft.

Oh, the fourth? Oh, the controversial fifth pick when it gets to me. Oh, fifth is final. Yeah. So you better let somebody love you with this pick, dude. Oh, well, now I'm going to cry.

Okay, well... I'm going to go with Bob Sacramento. Yeah, dude. Ah, okay. Bob Sacramento. That was one of my favorites because he's like, you never see him. You never see him. Never once. And Kramer Cause he's like, never,

you never see him. Never once. And Kramer's is always like, well, Bob Sacramento, I was into wild shit. Like he started Fritos or something. And you're like,

damn, I'm my friend. Bob Sacramento. The episode again, the Kenny Rogers roasters one where Jerry and George or Jerry and Kramer like switch personalities. Yeah. And he talks about him.

He's like, I was talking to my buddy, Bob Sacramento on the phone. That's right. He just suddenly is now talking to him on the phone. You know, Bob Sacramento. Yeah.

He called me. We got to talking. Anyway, we got to talk. So fun. God, God, there's so many.

Yeah, that again. And I keep harping on this, but that's just such a fun thing. Just a character that you never see who just does wild shit. With the expired condom episode, Bob Sacramento gets them for him. Yep.

There's one where he talks about how Bob Sacramento got rabies. Like their Bob Sacramento is like our King Tuff or something. You know, like they just, the wildest shit happens to Bob Sacramento. He's been everywhere. He can do anything. He's sorted amazing stories. Oh, that's good. That's fun shit. Bob Sacramento sold replica Russian hats made out of Nutria on Battery Park.

Made out of Nutria. Oh, my God, dude. Yes. Oh my god. That rules. Yeah. That is a very... Oh, according to the series writer Larry Charles,

Bob Sacramento was a real-life friend of Larry David's again. I love that. Of course. Also, how cool would that be if you're just a normal person and you're like, yeah, that's me, Bob Sacramento. Shortly after Larry introduced the fictional Sacramento character in the Heart Attack episode, he and the real Sacramento

had a falling out. No way. Charles, that's so funny. That's a bummer. And then they just keep him going throughout the rest of the series because they had a falling out. Because like Bob Sacramento, you're in every fucking episode. You have a lot of Bob Sacramento's. I got a few thing, though, because like, fuck you, Bob Sacramento. You're in every fucking episode now.

Sean, you have a lot of Bob Sacramentos. I got a few like that. You really do. All your friends from back in Sioux Falls who we haven't really met. You've got like a lot of,

you know what I mean? That's a Bob Sacramento of sorts. Yeah. Spliff's kind of like that, too. Yep. I'm so excited for this wedding, for my worlds to finally collide. Oh, my God.

I can't, like, I just cannot wait for the Sioux Falls to meet comedy. It's going to be so fun. This is what it's like, to finally collide. Oh my God. I can't like, I just cannot wait for the Sioux Falls to meet comedy. It's going to be so fun. This is what it's like. The worlds collide. Somebody's going to get stabbed. Yeah.

Yeah. And DJ is going to stab him. Everybody, everybody start calming down now. So you don't piss off DJ. Start calming down now. That's incredible. Bob Sacramento.

Start calming down. Start calming down now. The wedding is. You better calm down now. When are you looking at? You've been looking at venues. Bob Sacramento. Stop calming down now. You better calm down now. What are you looking at? You've been looking at venues, I know. We're going to go on Saturday and look at our first venue. I'm thinking like August, but there's so much shit.

Just trying to get the list down to a manageable number has been... I already feel like shit. I haven't even sent you my writer yet. That's going to add another week of work. Yeah, I haven't sent you mine that says you're officiating the wedding, even though you said you'd never do that again. I'll do it again. It's just last time I did, I blacked out on alcoholic popsicles.

Before? No, no, no. No, no, no. I officiated the fuck out of that wedding. I handled my business. I'm officiating Lisa's wedding in April. Oh, really? Lisa Carmel,mel yeah my little sister

you locked me down that invite right oh yeah you're in somewhere in this crib so Bob Sacramenta on your final pick yes okay my final pick son of a gun I'm gonna go with the Maestro the Maestro

it's not exciting it's not flashy but it doesn't have creases in its pants either. I love it. You know? So it's a solid pick. Well played. Crease, sharpen, tear. Crease, sharpen, tear, dude.

Sean saying clown posse, crease, sharpen, tear, beef oven. We're full of them this episode. Ludwig van Beef Oven. Beef Oven, dude. Is she going to Tuscany with a maestro? Is that what Elaine goes to? Yes That's so fucking funny

I forgot about the maestro I mean There's no cooler nickname No the maestro is a great nickname You can finagle yourself the maestro My nickname is beaver That sucks man It's such a bummer

It's not because it's fun to have a nickname, but like, it's not, you know, it's a maestro. It's not the maestro. I know so many people with like super dope nicknames. Mine's Beaver because I have buck teeth. Yeah, it's a bummer. There's nothing you can do about it. Can I change my nickname to IK Cool Jew?

It's not like a thing anyone called me. It's an AOL screen name, dude. IK Cool Jew. What was it? Was there a number, too? No, no, no, no. It's IK Cool Jew. I wasn't SeanJordan187 at Yahoo.com.

My email has 187 in it. The code for murder. Because when I made it, I was heavily... Well, my whole life, ever since Tupac and Snoop Dogg have been rapping, I thought... I've been saying 187 in everything. For sure. That makes sense.

The maestro. Dave, time for your final pick. God, this is so tough to pick a final one, but I'm going to go with Kenny Banya. Oh, yeah. Fuck, there's an unbelievable amount of characters. I forgot all about him. I still have 10 on my list that nobody's

seen. Same. That's wild. I don't want to fuck it up. He's the comic, right? He's the hack comic who loves Jerry. One of his lines in the Soup Nazi episode, he goes, oh, hey, Jerry, I didn't know you liked soup. Doesn't Jerry own dinner at some point?

Yes. He only gets soup, right? He's like, that didn't count. He's like, I took you out. Oh, yeah. Well, this doesn't count as a full dinner. All right, fine. It's funny because Jerry tries to be such a good guy, but he's such a piece of shit.

They're all such bad people. Oh, they're terrible. That's the whole show. That's the whole final episode. Which one is it where Banya, he either opens, like goes before or after Jerry and just crushes, and then Jerry gets his dick kicked in, like right in front of all these executives?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's one of the reasons I love him and picked him because that presence exists in all our lives. Like a person who's nice to you, who does well, and you don't understand why people like it. But there's nice. So fuck it. But they're nice. Yeah.

It's not like it'd be easy if they were an asshole. But Bane is so nice to him. And Jerry's such a fucking dick. And that's the thing. That old movie stuff, Jerry, it's gold. God damn it. There's something where they're writing together. Sorry, I wasn't saying that in the mic.

They're writing together. And I remember how they're writing together. I think Bania just shows up and is like, I'm going to pitch you some jokes or something. And he goes, why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundteen.

Great. Dude, they should call it round team right dude they should call it round team let's go let's go yeah like how many times have you been in like hanging out with comics and one comic says something and no one laughs yeah everyone's like what the fuck and then they go do it on stage and it crushes and you're like fine what yeah i've had i don't know any of them i've had audible what's in the back of the room where and then they go do it on stage and it crushes and you're like, fine. I've had audible what's in the back of the room where someone will do something and I'm like, come on. Shit. To be clear, I think

we've probably all been that guy at points. What are you doing? I used to have a stand-up comedy. That's the only job. It's the only job where it's got what you're doing in the name of the job. You don't get like sit down cab driver or bent over porn star. I was like the third

job. What? What? Come on. What the fuck? Come on. No! Kick rocks, loser. Oh yeah, there's a whole episode where he Kick rocks, loser. Oh, yeah. There's a whole episode where he has a suit that he's trying to give Jerry and Jerry doesn't want it.

He's like, why won't you take the suit? It's a good suit. That's the dinner one because he gives him the suit. And then he's like, well, I feel like I should get something for this. Yeah, you should probably take me to dinner at least. I don't even want. Am I right? Is that?

Yeah, I think you're right. I think so. I want to say that's where Is that? Yeah, I think you're right. I think so. I want to say that's where he gets. Yeah. Where the dinner thing comes into play. That character is so perfect. Oh, my God.

He's just got such a punchable face. Just gets under your skin, too. He's so nice. And Jerry is the prick. And yet Jerry is you feel in your bones, right? Like it's like we're just like this fucking guy. Again, every time he was on, I'm like, God, it's going to suck like this fucking guy again every time he was on i'm like god it's gonna suck for jerry yeah going by kenny too you know what i think i'm just gonna have soup yeah i'll save the meal for another time i love that right this is the meal no this is just soup jerry is just this is the dinner and it just drives Jerry crazy. There's an episode where Kramer's like,

I was reading about Ben, you said on the internet, apparently he killed. Oh my God. Yeah, that's an amazing pick. Sharpie is in the bathroom, dear listeners. But Sean, you can make your final pick right now. All right. Now you let me know if I can do this.

All right. Everyone else. All the other characters. I want to pick everyone who's ever been on the show. I want to pick a fictional character. Can I pick Buck Naked? George's fictional pen star that he was. That's right.

Where he goes, yes, I'm Buck Naked. It's got Buck in it. I'll take it. Yeah, sure. It's got Buck in it. That's true. It's got'm Buck naked. It's got Buck in it. I'll take it. Yeah, sure. Yeah. It's got Buck in it. That's true. It's got Buck in it.

It's got Buck in it. And it's just hilarious. Yes, I'm Buck naked. It was on my list. Was it on your list? Yeah, I was on my list. And then I was like, I'm not going to. I thought, yeah, no.

But you can't. Trying to do something like David would have done. Hey, you got Buck naked. Buddy, you got it. You got it. What episode is that again? It's just a fictional porn star that George, like he makes up Buck Naked

and then has to admit like, yes, I'm Buck Naked. Yeah, I'm Buck Naked. Yeah, that's right. Him saying, just the look on his face, he's like, yeah, I'm Buck Naked. Dude, the amount of times in this show where he has to admit that he is a person yeah who is not real

episode where he jerry tells a girl that he used to be in love with he's a marine biologist that's one of my all-time favorite all-time favorites is anyone here a marine it's like a whale it's they're hitting golf in the ocean. The whale gets a golf ball stuck in its blowhole. Yes, a golf ball that Kramer hit. Yeah. Does anyone here a marine biologist? Damn, I should have picked the guy who yelled that. Does anyone here a marine biologist?

It's definitely Larry David. You can very much tell. Oh, that's funny. I love that episode. It's one of my all-time favorites for sure. That is fucking hilarious. Or the episode where he's like, they're trying to figure out what his lie is going to be.

They're in the, oh, I think this is the one where they're going in to pitch the TV show for the first time. Oh, yeah. Art core. Core? Bandicore. Core delay. Band delay, band delay. Vandelay Vandelay He was on my list for sure

Ott Vandelay I'm an architect I'm an architect Vandelay Industries God damn it George is such a piece of shit too Vandelay he comes running out of the bathroom with his shirt off. Vandal Industries! Vandal Industries!

Oh, this show's perfect. Yeah, it really is, man. Time for my final pick, the final pick of the Seinfeld character. What a bummer. We can do, like, more. We really could. One of the only times I've been, like, upset that there's only five left. No, there's so many more.

My final pick is another weird one. It's somebody who doesn't even have any lines and he's just in an episode for a second. I love it. But it's when it's Frank Costanza's lawyer played by Larry Davis wearing a cape. Yes!

Oh man, that's the best. The best. And you just see him arguing with Frank Costanza in the distance and he's wearing a fucking cake and it is such a sublimely ridiculous hilarious fucking thing yes it's so funny oh my god larry david man that is a perfect last pick yeah yeah by the way david is just amazing just amazing brain i was i remember when i was was in New York doing the knitting factory, and there was some restaurant across the street,

and apparently Larry David was there. And I stood outside of the knitting factory across the street for like 45 minutes hoping to just see Larry David. I never saw him. He must have gone out the back or something like that. But I would for sure be starstruck. I wish he did stand up so bad. Oh my God. Apparently he'll do it every now and

then like he did. Somebody had a benefit show at the Largo. I forget who it was, but he did a set there like Judd Apatow or something. There was a bit and I can't remember where I heard it, but it was a Larry David bit where he was talking up there. Like, wouldn't it be funny if they had answering machines in the old west and like, hey, Larry, we're getting

a posse together. We're going to go down and shoot out and shit we could really use your help there's a great story about him going up on stage looking at the crowd and being like no and then walking off it's amazing I could never I've wanted to do that a million times

but I could never do it I could see myself doing that maybe amazing. I could never. I've wanted to do that a million times, but I could never do it. I could see myself doing that. Maybe in Portland. I could do. So that is the final pick. Just to recap, Chris, you went first and you took Putty, Seth, Jackie Childs, Bob Sacramento, and the Maestro.

Dave, you went second. You took Newman, the Gay Street Tufts, Uncle Leo, the Busboy, and Kenny Banya. sacramento and the maestro dave you went second you took newman the gay street toughs uncle leo the bus boy and kenny banya great sean you went third you took frank costanza george steinbrenner the uh you son of a bitch guys brett and then buck naked great stuff i went last i took jay peterman estelle costanza lieutenant bookman crazy Joe Davola, and Frank Costanza's lawyer wearing a cape. Yeah, dude. We left some amazing pics on the board. The Van Buren boys. The Van Buren boys.

I wanted to take them so bad. Keith Hernandez, of course. Yeah. Tim Watley. Tim Watley. FDR. That's Branson, right? Yeah, that was Brian Branson. Soup Nazi. No one picks Soup Nazi. I know. That's interesting. It felt a little on the... We went deep. Yeah, it felt a little... Totally. It felt a little easy. He was also mentioned. He was mentioned. Yeah. FDR. It felt a little on the like. Yeah, I felt a little totally a little easy. He was also mentioned.

So yeah, FDR Franklin Delano Romanowski. You remember him? Yeah. Any of the bizarro crew? You remember bizarre

bizarro? I thought about Jerry Jerry. And then there's that bizarro Kramer. What the fuck? I thought about picking that whole crew.

Yeah, I could have let that ride. One pick for the whole Bizarro crew. Elaine's dad, Alton Bennis. Oh, wow. Very interesting. I'm also partial to Morty Seinfeld. I like Morty.

I had him on the list. Jerry's mom didn't really move the needle for me, but Morty did for sure. She had a couple of moments, but yeah, she wasn't one of the bit... The show, I mean, struggled with... Well, I've had a Julie Louis-Dreyfus, but the show clearly didn't one of the bit like the show. I mean, struggled with right. Like, well, I had a Julie Louis Dreyfus, but the show clearly didn't have enough women writers.

No, it's like, you know, like totally those characters were never characters. They weren't as well developed. They were all like girlfriends. Yes, exactly. Bubble Boy. The Sue Lomischke was pretty funny. Like her interactions with Elaine. Yeah. Susan Ross. Yeah. Yeah. She was all right. Yeah.

Yeah. And a hush. Yeah. Yeah. She was all right. Yeah. Yeah. And a hush. Oh, yeah. Lloyd Braun. Poppy. Poppy. Oh, Poppy. Yeah. I'm the pro-life pizza guy. Poppy. Who doesn't wash his hands. Mickey Abbott. Oh, yeah.

Mickey's great. He's like his acting partner. Yeah. Oh, God. Yes. That little person. He's hilarious acting partner. Oh, God, yes. That little person, he's hilarious. The Marble Rye girl? The Marble Rye lady? Mabel Choate is her name in that, by the way. Mabel Choate. Perfect.

Oh, yeah, I forgot that the maestro's name is Bob Cobb. It's Bob Cobb. And I can't remember Sid Farkas. I think that's the person. I think that's the person. That name is familiar. I think it's the person who helps set up the bro. The bra for men.

Sid Farkas. Sid Farkas, which is just such a fun name. John F. Kennedy Jr. was always a fun one just because Elaine was just so smitten. John F. Kennedy Jr. Sal Bass. The Jr. And also, yeah, Keith Hernandez,

just because that whole scene in the car where he is thinking, he's like, I'm Keith Hernandez. Well, she's like, he's Keith Hernandez. And he's like, I'm Keith Hernandez. And then he kisses her and she goes, who does he think he is? Yeah.

I'm Keith Hernandez. He's like pretty funny in that role. He did a good job. I love it. It's one of the better athlete performances. I cannot wait to see what kevin garnett brings to the athletic performance oh and uncut gems i got high hopes i think he's gonna kill it people say he's great in it i hope he is uh thrilled about it well those are our picks we for sure want to hear yours as well let us know if we missed anyone left anyone out hit us up at all fantasy pod on twitter

all fantasy podcast at gmail.com hit us up on the email do it hit us all up individually of course as well on twitter uh shout out to everyone on the afe subreddit for holding us down shout out big big shout outs to everyone on the all fantasy everything patreon seriously we love you keeping that slack popping uh we're gonna have more bonus episodes for you. We're going to be recording them this weekend. Yeah, we just love you. Shout out to super producer Marissa. You know, I actually don't want to give up. I'm kidding.

You know, can we stop doing that? She has been getting a lot of credit lately. I'm a dick now. Dark Sean. Dark Sean. Dark Sean. Sounds like maybe you need to wake up a little bit, you know? He's dozing off. You're getting mean in your tired state.

Try not to grab on the wheel for a second while I handle something. Ian, grab the wheel. I'm going to feed the chickens in your car. You got a hundo I can borrow? Do you want to get a $100 bill this hour? Can I borrow your car and $100? I'm tired as hell. Super tired. Just give me your car and $100.

I'll be back in half an hour. Oh, my God. I'm at the airport at 5 a.m., so I got to stay up. Can I get a... Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking... Shout out to BioFreeze. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking... Shout out to BioFreeze.

Send me some free BioFreeze, dude. Yeah, send us more free BioFreeze. I started working out. Oh, I bought a gym membership. Oh, yeah. What's up? Gym membership. Anyway, I need some BioFreeze.

So BioFreeze official. Also send Ian a whole BioFreeze jumpsuit that he can wear to a Blazer game. I'll wear it. I'll wear it. I will wear it. This is out of nowhere, but Zach and I went to the new Predator a while back and we asked Ian if he wanted to go

and it was a pretty hard no and then we were in the movie we're like what if we just saw Ian walk in full predator gear like with brains and everything full of popcorn and snacks and just sit down like talking to strangers like predator head so I'm just picturing you in predator mask

and then at one point he sees you and Zach and turns on his invisibility. You get the three little red dots on Zach's chest. You just blow him to smithereens. Don't fucking tell anybody, Sean. Smile, you son of a bitch. He walks in with Danny Glover.

When was the last time you guys watched Predator 2? Oh, dude. That's the one. It's been probably a decade since I've seen Predator 2. And by the way, it's not. Predator is better than Predator 2. I don't know. Predator 2 is dope. Are you guys out of your mind? I think I actually agree with you, but as time passes, Predator 2 is dope. Are you guys out of your mind? You know what? I think I actually agree with you,

but as time passes, Predator 2 is a crazier movie. It's a weird... They don't explain the crazy endings. I had to read what that is. Did you know that that's the gun that killed Lincoln? That's why... That's what that gun is.

No, I didn't know that. They don't tell you in the movie. Maybe I didn't know that then. I thought... It in the movie? They don't tell you in the movie, no. Maybe I didn't know that then. I thought, that's funny. It sounded so familiar when you said that. Yeah, it's the gun that killed Lincoln and it's the award for killing the most people ever. So that's, they're all, all of those predators are in an intergalactic game

to see who can murder the most people and Danny Glover wins. Wow. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. There's a sex scene in that one. Yeah, two predators going at it. there's a sex scene in that one yeah two predators

going at it there's a sex scene two predators with their weird crab genitals two predators wow god I bet it looks

pretty raw down there it's wet it's wet everywhere yuck shout out to wet predator genitals and more important than all of that

tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything Clackity that was a hate gun podcast