All Fantasy Everything - Signs of a Bad Movie (w/ Zach Harper)

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

This episode is not sponsored by Mitchell & Ness (but it could be).Guest:Zach Harper (@talkhoops)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (@SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (@Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (@IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. markets for a limited time only. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fancy graphs anything and everything from the world of popular culture On today's episode we are drafting signs of a bad movie our Guest today with two guests today Zack Harper basketball writer

podcaster frequent enemy All frequent guests always enemy of the podcast. Not only that, we have another familiar face who today is stepping out from behind the production board and joining us to Fantasy Draft. Isaac Lee, Isaac K. Lee. What does the K stand for?

Let's all guess. Korean. Okay. Go ahead. Korean. Christopher with a K. Okay. Christopher with a K. Okay, Christopher with a K. I'm gonna go with King Kong.

Ah, well then that would be two Ks. It would be Isaac KK Lee. What if it's hyphenated? Hyphenated. Crispy? Crispy as in cream? As in cream? Crispy, yeah.

Isaac Crispy Lee? Keith? I like that. Is it Keith? Keith. You think my parents would have named my middle name as Keith? I have no idea what it is, Isaac.

I'm scrambling. Cool, like with the cigarette brand. Oh, cool, yeah. Mm, or Kool-Aid. Kool-Aid? Isaac Kool-Aid Lee? Dude. That's not bad. Let me go legally change that actually. I'll be right back. Kentucky Kentucky Lee. Yeah, Kentucky Lee's. I don't think I've ever been to Kentucky. That's an album

That that's a bassist that Ian just bought a record for. Kentucky Lee. Yeah The Kentucky Lee trio? Yeah in the 60s. Is it weird? Quang Jo is it Quang Jo? It's unfortunately not Quang Jo But that could be Korean. Tell us who and then we'll see who got closest. I List up a list of Korean names for it You thought I was gonna pull a Korean name out of the dark? No, no, no, sir. I was working in this town.

I don't know what you're getting up to in Dallas. Oh, is that why you dropped in the I looked up a list of Korean names? David just got dropped from a Oh, what's a Korean studio? There isn't, not Sony. Sony Japan. No, Sony's Japan. No, Sony's Japanese.

I don't think, well, CJ, C-J-E-N-M is a Korean studio, but I don't think they make things in Hollywood, really. David was the voice to Hyundai and it just got dropped, dude, because he pulled a Korean name out of the blue. Those Elantris aren't gonna sell themselves. Well, enjoy your Ionics, they blow up. They, I don't like the way those Ionics look. No. Those lunches enjoy your ionics they blow up I don't like the way that those ionics look no I they were going for something and you know what? I said I felt like a slur I say the ionics man

I said coming into our country. It looks like a car will I am would drive That window rolls down Will.i.am would drive. Yes, sir. Absolutely, yes. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. If you pull up to one of those, that window rolls down. It's Will.i.am in there. It's Will.i.onic. They're playing Let's Get It Started, the old version. You're like, whoa. The unedited version, yeah, absolutely.

He's dressed like a steampunk. Cowboy. Cowboy. Yeah. I gotta, you know, I say a lot of the time that you want like, like I would say, like, oh, why don't we have cool car designs anymore? Why don't we have people taking wild swings? And every time they do.

And I think this extends to whatever Will. I am is doing with his entire look and persona. Maybe I don't want people taking wild swings. Yeah. In the X-Men movie that he's in, the Wolverine Origins movie, he and Wolverine take a motorcycle ride from Nevada to New Orleans.

Will.i.am is in a Wolverine movie. Oh my God. Logan, right? No, no, no. X-Men Origins, Wolverine, the one, not the good one. Oh, Logan's the good one. Oh, Logan is the good one. Yeah, Logan's the good one. They just take a road trip. Hugh Jackman and Will.i.am ride motorcycles

from Vegas to New Orleans? Yeah. I bet you they'd be talking about show tunes more than you think. Probably a lot of bye-bye birdie. They're on a time crunch. And they're just like, well, time to make a time to take a motorcycle ride.

That's something that I don't to see that in a movie. If there was a reality show about the two of them doing that, I would 100% watch this. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, Hugh Jackman on a Harley and Will.i.am and the Tron motorcycle. Yeah. Or a sidecar. They look like Missy Elliott and Lil Kim in that music video.

Yeah. Have you guys seen... I'm like just... He looks like they look like Missy Elliott and Lil Kim in that music video. Yeah. Yeah. Have you guys seen, you've seen the car, that like insane custom car that Will.i.am commissioned? No. Are they sometimes driving through it? No.

Look it up right now. Look up Will.i.am custom car. I just gotta close out Korean given names. Yeah. We'll get back, we'll circle back to that. We'll circle back to that. Oh no, what is this? What is going on? Look at this thing. Why? No, Will. We'll get back, we'll circle back to that. Oh no, what is this?

What is going on? Why? No, Will. Why? I am appalled. Yeah. This looks like somebody commissioned this in the 50s as like, oh, they'll be driving this in 2025.

This is a Dick Tracy car. It's a Dick Tracy car. I was going to say it looks like a dildo for a giant. Well yeah, that too. That could've been a weird thing to say. My mind also went there. This is the car that tried to take Jessica Rabbit from Roger Rabbit. Yeah.

There's definitely tunes in the trunk. Yeah. That's the car where you smoke an Extendo cigar. Yeah. You get in that car, you smoke a three foot cigar. A white guy in a zoot suit steps out of this thing. Oh, absolutely. Wide shoulders.

The horn says, Hachimachi. Isaac, what does the K stand for, with dancer in for too long the K stands for my Korean name, which is Q young Who that was my next guess do feel like it was how far down the list was that they don't worry about my list It's not a super common name Is there a name that means something is it just like it means eternal star, which is not at all grand Wow, yeah Is that a name that means something or is it just like, oh yeah? It means eternal star, which is not at all grand. It's not at all a... Wow. Yeah.

Space? You're an eternal star in our sky. Thank you, thank you. It's a lot to live up to. My middle name means Will.I.Am. Wait, what is your middle name, Zach? William. Is it William?

It is William. My middle name, Zach? William. Is it William? It is William. My middle name is Apple the App. And I'm Fergie. Was there another one? There's another one. There's Apple the App. Wait, hold on. Let me see if I can remember.

Will.i.am, Apple the App, and oh no, there was a time when this was ingrained in my psyche. I was a big pre-them going pop. Yeah. They had this album behind the front. You were in the Black Eyed Peas. Yeah, that's the joint. That's the joint, yeah. Oh, yeah, that one, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Taboo. Falling up. Taboo! That's what I knew about them, and then when they came out with Fergie, I was like, wait, what the fuck was this? It felt like if a tribe called quest became in sync it was fucking nuts It was so weird. Yeah, that Filipino dudes gone through a change. Yeah It was working. Yeah, his hair kept getting longer and straighter and longer and straight

Will.i.am spent all of his money on cars and that dude just spent it on extensions from whatever Cher, he found Cher's extension guy from the 1970s, it was like, give me the half breed. Which was a song by Cher. I was talking about this recently with somebody, you can get too rich for a haircut. Like you can get so rich that you can do whatever you want with you

And it you mean like it inspires bad decisions like Mark Davis. No, I just mean you're so rich that you don't have to conform to any style of Any type of style because you're that rich Like Harper said the owner of the Raiders Mark Davis. Yeah, that's a great that looks like that Yeah, he knows he yeah, he knows exactly what that looks like because I think then isn't it kind of that's the draw of like I Can still pull a woman looking like this Right, or I can still get respect in the room looking like this like a like a giant old baby

like a huge cabbage patch kid. I don't, I don't know. I think maybe he thinks it looks good. No. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Because he doesn't have to conform to anything other than what he thinks looks good. Nobody's gonna tell him shit. Yeah. He looks like bad lawn care.

He can't possibly think. He thinks it looks cool. I think that is a poem written by his heart that exists on his head. Yup, yup. I think that is pure truth. He's out of ink. There's no way. I think that is, I think that haircut is,

I think every one of our haircuts is influenced by outside forces, and his is one that is completely, the elevator went from the heart to the barber's chair. Exactly, he's got a room full of ink Yeah, that elevators in his butt man Cuz he could just pay whoever to get it good. He you see it was Zuckerberg like Zuckerberg somehow all the money in the world, but you know, like definitely he's going for like the

Who's that who's the white rapper from Louisville? Jack Harlow Jack Harlow. Jack Harlow, he's going, he's like, I'm like, he went to a stylist, he went to a barber, and he said, but it took me a long time to get there. That's because that's what he needed to do to get to where he's going, man. He is a nerd.

He just now wants everybody to think that that's what me and my friends say when we're on my couch, in my living room. Me and my friends cracking cold ones. As we watch the Sunday morning football game. Yeah, we love to crack a cold Guinness. He talks like fucking, what's his name talked in that goddamn Merman movie?

Jason Momoa? Oh yeah. Where he's like, I would love a cold Guinness. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And you're like, I would love a cold Guinness. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And you're like, this guy is a predator. Did you guys see the recent Shane Gillis joke? I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You know we're close to that being a riff in like a Marvel movie, right? Absolutely. Like Ant-Man talks about trying to get his minute on Kill Tony, like that's where that's You're right, dude, that is gonna happen Will I am take me away

Drive me back to behind the front will I am please if anybody can take me back to oh six it's you oh man we are we ages ago with with Demi at did you eBay we drafted signs of a or movie tropes I guess that were not that not necessarily good today we are drafting signs of a bad movie first I guess I should introduce people. David Borey is here. Sean is gone. I don't remember the last time we did a non-Sean Jordan episode. A non-Sean.

He perished in a hot air balloon accident. Yeah. He was trying to skateboard off of it. He was trying to skateboard off of it. With non-chucks. With non-chucks. He said he was gonna do a Christ 900 flippy thing and couldn't do it. It's crazy, he said Nicole the whole way down.

He nailed the trick too, he did, he nailed the trick. And those are the exact words he said, he said this is a technical term. Yeah. Christ 900 flippy thing. He did a Christ 900 flippy thing, landed on, like landed the trick, but it was on a gentle downward slope, which gradually took him into the ocean where he was eaten by a whale. Yeah.

So, I mean, that happened a lot though. All before Laura got home, so he was just gonna come home, it's gonna be Wild Things on the TV. It's just been on a loop. It's still playing. It's the DVD menu of Wild Things, which has gotta be one of the, do you think that's the DVD menu of Wild Things, which has got to be one of the... I think...

Do you think that's the... You know how back in the day, Isaac, this might be before your time a little bit? A lot of the sex you had would be to a DVD menu screen repeating? For sure. Oh, yeah. What do you think's the DVD screen you had the most sex to? That's... Mine's Fight Club.

You know what's weird? Is it? I got a lot into the Mr. Deeds loading screen. What? Alright! Yeah, I mean it's funny. It's not pulling all your attention. It's boring enough that you can kinda, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Isaac, that used to be the needle you had to thread. You would put on a DVD that you knew, like, hey, we should watch a movie. You know, it was the Netflix and chill of its time, I suppose. Right. And, but it would eventually, you'd get to the point where it just ended and then went to the DVD menu and DVD menus used to like kind of have music

and oftentimes repeating scenes and stuff. Most grating music, always the worst music. Awful, so you would be having sex to like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, like yelling Muzzle Top. Or like the City of God music if you were really being in You would like go down that you're like, yeah, this is just one of my favorite movies actually Yeah, that's what you want to watch eat to mama Tom. Yeah You're like, I don't know, I just love cinema. Let's watch Real Women Have Curves.

On your roommate's Xbox. Having sex bathed in a green light Man those are the really unlike someone she's like why is your Xbox name captain slick dick? Like a day it's like a dick Detective like Isaac Haley's like a day It's sly K. Dick. It's sly K. Dick. Like a detective. Like Isaac Haley, sly K. Dick. Yeah, exactly. It stands for...

Kwant Ku... What was your middle name? Korean name? My middle name? Guess again. Try again. Why don't you guess? It's a trap! It's a trap! Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel.

Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel.

Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel.

Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Caramel. Car star. Eternal star. Yeah. Uh. Wait, wait, wait. David, where, where can. Let me ask this. Let me ask this real quickly. Go on please. Please go.

Oh my god, it's Zack Disgunt. Oh, it is. The birthday boy. The birthday boy in the cell of Zack Disgunt. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It's one of those homewood sweets where they got like a kitchen and stuff. Oh yeah.

Oh, that's not. Okay, if I may ask. Did he have a baby Bjorn on? What was, what was going on with his, his uh. No, he had a, a burrito and a baby Bj yeah. Oh, it's not. Okay, if I may ask. Did he have a baby Bjorn on? What was going on with his slunk bag? Were you doing a baby Bjorn? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Why, at what point, why wouldn't you just turn off the screen of the DVD? Because you're fucking, Isaac. Because you're banging. Yeah. You're drunk, you're banging, you're in it. Three and a half seconds to go reach for the remote.

Brother, I got another three and a half seconds to go reach for the remote When you started the movie Might not even be wireless. Yeah. You gotta be. I'm unhooking something else. Also, you know, maybe you get off on having sex while Ben Stiller makes flu steel. Maybe I need the woman from Amelie staring at me the entire time.

Her eyes are piercing. Wouldn't mind. Piercing eyes. I can't finish without seeing Barbra Streisand in Little Fockers. Oh, man. David, where can people see you do stand-up? Birth of a Nation available now, of course.

Birth of a Nation available at patreon.com backslash David Boyer. We got a bunch of fun stuff. I just did a watch along with that movie Meteor Man, where James Earl Jones is going crazy. Enough so that you wish that he had more of a comedic career. So many wigs.

He was very funny. He's funny in, even in like Field of Dreams, he's funny. He's funny. I'm going to beat you with this crowbar What are you gonna do? I'm going to beat you with this crowbar With a with a crowbar If you haven't watched David special yet a what the fuck's wrong with you go do it it's available now It's very good.

I'm really proud of it. I'm proud of how it looks specifically. I think we really nailed the edit and we did a lot with a little. People have thought I paid 10 times what I paid to produce it. Yeah, really? Yeah, I got, shout out to Dude IDK,

we busted some maneuvers. Is that some of those conversations with other comedians who are like, so would you pay for it? And then they find out and then you can tell they're upset and they're acting like they're not? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good for you, man.

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. I would probably not do it in a round. That's what a lot of people were like. I don't think it was that. Like, I wouldn't do it. And it's like, all right, man. Well, then don't.

Well, then don't, yeah. Sorry, my shit looks different. Yeah, it's fine. I'm seeing those kind of comments where people are like, I wouldn't do it. And it's like, all right, man. Well, then don't. Well, then don't. Sorry, my shit looks different. Yeah. And I'm saying those kind of comments where people are like, I wouldn't do that. It's like, all right. And people act like there was, I put thought into it, though. Like, there's a reason I chose a small venue

and I had a dress code and like, you know what I mean? It's like, it was like, what's the guarantee? I can't believe you fit 65 people in there. Brother? I mean, I've been inside that room, Ian, you've been inside. That's such a small room. Ian was there, yeah. Yeah, I was in the room for the special.

I was in the hallway of the room because it was so big. It was packed and it was hot. Yeah, it was hot, dude. But it felt good, it felt like, I'm glad we're talking about it, the spirit of seeing, cause those are like the kind of shows that like when you were coming up as a standup comedian,

that you would like, those would make your month. Like there'd be some local shows like that and you would get to do it. It's like small packed room, the energy in there would be phenomenal. You would like talk about it, it would sustain you for a long time. And then I think, I feel like as you get like

into the club stage of your career a little bit more, you move to LA, those shows just don't, every now and then they exist down here, but like not often. And that show really captured that energy in a way that I missed. I was like, oh, this is awesome. It felt like to me the way that,

it felt like the type of show that got me good at comedy, that made me be in love with comedy, that made me appreciate everything about it were shows that felt like that, you know? So yeah, by that or June, obviously May through the 11th, come see us at New Orleans Toledano Street Festival. And then June 15th, I believe I'm doing the Little Field in Brooklyn and I would love to sell that bitch out. That would be cool. It's the biggest venue I've ever done in New York so it'd be fun to sell it out. Which one's Little Field?

It's in Brooklyn. It's the one that's not Union Hall. It's not the one we do, right? No, we do Bell House. Bell House, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bell House, yeah. Okay, yeah. Is it a little field? How little is the field? I don't understand. Three questions. Three questions. Oh, as far as other comparable comedians, tiny. Other free-

That wasn't my question, but okay. Oh, penis-wise. The field. We were asking how big your dick is. Everyone here, one, one. Yeah. Nine inches. Doesn't matter about the size,

just know it's got a lot of heart. It's got a lot of, just, just. Don't matter about the size, just know it's got a lot of heart. It's got a lot of, just, just. Don't worry about the size of my dick, just know that it has seen a lot of the, the, oh fuck, Dinner for Schmucks menu screen. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I feel like I pulled it out. I pulled it out in the last second. Oh, you got it, you got it, you got it. That was a crazy pull. I pulled him out the last second.

No, you got it. You got it. You got it. That was a crazy pull. I forgot about that movie. I was getting nervous for you. I feel like that's a late era DVD screen. But that's perfect. You hit the speed bump and I thought, ah, fuck, he missed it. And then you got dinner for schmucks and damn it. That's a movie you bought because it was seven bucks at Target and you're like, I don't know all ruds in it

How bad could it be? How bad get bad is so bad? It's not great. It's that's that's not a good movie Zack Harper is here at talk hoops. Yeah, you can hear him talking hoops writing on the athletic Hmm about basketball. Mm-hmm allegedly. Yeah One-third of the emotional hoops Underground basketball podcast all three of us are here today. Yeah, that's right. We're all here I like calling it an underground basketball podcast it whether we like it or not it is What else can people I think it's mostly the NBA playoffs right now, right? Yeah, it's playoffs. Yeah, there's a game going on right now that I'm not watching, but it's cap seed. It doesn't matter.

It does not matter. Yeah, subscribe to The Bounce. It's the free newsletter I do. It's theathletic.com slash the bounce, it's fun. We're doing videos now for that every Monday, Thursday on social feeds, so at Talk Hoops on Instagram, I think that's where it's gonna be, or at the Athletic, I think they'll eventually start posting it when I stop making dick jokes in them. I think, what else? Are you gonna start doing that thing

that a lot of people who do video forward content do where they start dressing up in weird costumes? You guys notice that on Instagram? I can't stand that stuff I'm just gonna get like you got to grab the people's attention I guess that's what it is it's like I'm not doing that it's a normal podcast but everyone is dressed up like like like they're in earth wind and fire look why it's weird no this is my problem with this whole thing I don't I don't want wanna do all the things that you have to do to like do the algorithms,

like I just wanna do the content I wanna do in the way I wanna do it. It's the same way I approach writing of like, nah, I just gonna do it this way and eventually it'll break through. That's what I'm gonna do. I'd like to see you in a Princess Peach costume. Talking about- That's how I wanna do it.

That's how I write my newsletter and that's how I will do my videos. Isaac, you have a dog? I do have a dog, yes. Throwbacks, call back to a Patreon episode. We're gonna do some live AFEs here coming up, like on video, I guess this is me, us announcing that. Should we wear costumes?

Yes. Is that what it takes? You guys should wear it. Should we wear costumes? Yes. Is that what it takes? You guys should wear it. I don't wanna wear it. Should just I wear a costume? It would be so fun. I'm gonna wear one of three basketball jerseys I just purchased in a lifetime.

Should we all just wear basketball jerseys? Dude, I have three locked and loaded. Which three did you end up getting? Or do we wanna say that for- I got Chompy Billups on the Raptors. I got Rodman on the Pistons. I, Chamberlain on the Warriors. Oh, yeah My arm went to open the Mitchell and s website Under its own control was like the chain smoking region for for the cigarette just unconscious like maybe I will get that Sebastian

Tell fair Jersey. I will in fact I am going to get that get it Recently what did you just find you thought about a random one we were on a whatever thread we were all on yeah Random one though. Um Are you guys doing like a marathon or just like a live one? We're doing four. We're gonna do four in person. Yeah. That's exciting. I'm gonna be wearing a John Starks New York Knicks jersey. Oh, one of them I pulled was a Tom Brady baseball jersey.

Yeah, that was crazy. Drafted by like a copy of Z-Bo too. Which Z-Bo? Is that, let's figure this out right now. Let's just get you a jersey and then we'll get to the Z. Let's just talk through this really quick. Let's figure this out, yeah. Black Zach Randolph, Portland Trail Blazers jersey.

Thank God Jersey was there. Why black Zach Randolph? This is white grand offers asian Zach Randolph. It's the new mr. Beast video There's a white dress like is dressed like the Joker. He's gonna break up Mr. Beast is just like the Joker freaked me out He's got puffed at ease the Joker costume We praised it we did we all thought it was funny it was like what a What a interesting older guy. He's turning out to be we know White Sebastian tell fair, but it's a throwback tell fair. So it's like the Blazers lowercase font Going underneath it. Yeah the cursive. Can I. Let me, yeah, let me allow you to.

There we go. All right, ignore, this will be on the video part of the podcast, I guess, and also please ignore all the other windows I have open. I don't think any of them are embarrassing. All right, here we go. Okay. Everybody can see this?

Yeah. That Randolph one's clean, man. I love that design. Well, let's see what else the other options are. All right, so there's the white tail fair Okay, LaMarcus not yet. No, not yet. By the way, like you can also just go to Portland and get a million LaMarcus Aldrich jerseys and like back to the basket. I'm not a LMA fan anyway Yeah, Brandon Roy the natural of course, but another one where it's like I could just go on eBay and get a Brandon Roy jersey

Yeah Brandon Roy, the natural, of course, but another one where it's like, I could just go on eBay and get a Brandon Roy jersey. Yeah. Scottie Pippen is interesting. That is an interesting, that is an interesting blazer. That's an interesting blazer. That's an interesting man. It fulfills all the requirements of a throwback jersey, which is you want, you want a little bit of that, like that Chauncey Billups effect, which is like, he was on the Raptors? Yeah. which is like he was on the Raptors

Yeah, oh, yeah, he was on the Raptors use it Clyde Drexler, we don't even need to talk about it He's wonderful. Here we go. Damon Stoudemire Damon Stoudemire number three That's right. I think I would like that in a box right in that era It's right in that era. It's I Portland that era. It's Portland's own, which is, that makes a big difference too. Like from Portland, play for Portland. In my opinion, the Damon Stoddermier jersey to get though

is dribbling Raptor. Should we just draft jerseys you should buy for the live stream? You guys want to. I've already got three queued up. Do a hard pivot. Should we do a hard pivot right now in the podcast? And the agent. I don't know if we can do that't do that deep, but I feel like it's too. It's too. It's yeah, maybe on the page

I might be a little bit Explain why I own a Ron our test By all of them of course cuz I might buy that before the day is out That is a test on- On the balls? On the balls! On the balls! Alright, Rashid, I already have Rashid. Yeah.

Uh, Scottie Pippen again. Damien Lillard. T-shirts, t-shirts, t-shirts. Bill Walton! Yeah. Bill Walton did- I like that. Are you-

Only they only have Smalls left. Oh. Are you open? You should just go to Swingman jerseys and look your sides because that's the easier way to do it. Okay. How do I go to jerseys? Swing man.

I love that. And then just typing your size at the top, but they have crazy. That's, this is literally what I'm on. Uh, or, uh, the, well, what's the song? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah When I see it Sonic's jerseys are the coolest cuz it's like a team that no longer exists for now Obviously, but I don't know. How do you I don't know where you go to there's a way to show your size But men sizes on the on the left. Oh, yeah

Okay Okay, I'm gonna have to cut so much of this Yeah, yeah, I know is that crazy No, that's nice nice. Yeah, you know bleh is nice My hairline is creeping back. Yeah, you could you do yeah, I could I could never wear Lakers jerseys But how this all los Lakers is pretty cool Do they have one for Memphis or the bulls on our test Lakers is crazy, too I saw that KG one seven. Oh my god. The KG is a classic. You'll get you in this ugly nuggets jersey

That's really it's. We have such bad jerseys. It really sucks. It's crazy. That's really yellow. It's like we ditched the ugly colors. Oh, that Drozzen. Come on. Oh, Petrovich. Oh, Petrovich. Oh, come on. I can see the jer-

Drozzen is, yes. You can feel that on your body. That's number one. Absolutely. Feel it on your skin. That's number one right now. I can feel that coming out of the pool. I just watched a video last night.

Smell that sweet Nola breeze. Of Reggie Miller and Vernon Maxwell just talking about how impossible he was to guard and how bad he smelled I bet Blades like you couldn't even shower it off. I Mean there's the you hook it with world when it was world Our Odom Clippers, yeah, I was iconic. The old boy video. Yeah. Oh, that's true.

I would have killed another teen boy for that jersey at that time. If you guys were run TMC, one of you had Mullen, one of you had Hardaway, one of you had Richmond. I didn't even think about doing that. That's not bad. That's not bad. I'd be happy. Sean is Chris Mullen, right? For sure. And we have to we have to do a crew cut yes

Gilbert arenas gold It's an ugly Jersey, but it's a fun. Jersey. Yeah, it's a fun ugly Jersey. Yeah That orange oh my god Gilbert arenas bullets Jersey that was only fun on 2k I would think I do think Jamal has that exact jersey I would go to bed wearing that and he in I would wake up and it would be on Jamal Oh that Baron Davis City Jersey. That is pretty cool. I can't I had that Rodman Bulls Jersey in in the black Yeah, oh that was a good jersey. Yeah.

Cleveland Sean Kemp? Cleveland Kemp! Big K! That's huge. That's huge. When he was fat and still doing coke, that was incredible. Yeah, you divide the odds. He was a professional athlete.

He just was, man. He just did. He was fat and did coke? They're truly built different. Fat playing in NBA season and doing cocaine. Those are forces going against each other. That year must have been a rush. Mike Bibby's Vancouver Grizzlies jersey.

Wow. I can't wear a baby jersey. If that wasn't a Dura game. You can't wear a baby jersey. I can't wear a baby jersey. There's just too much lore with Mike Bibby's That was in a Dura game? You can't wear a bitty jean. No, no, no. I can't wear a bitty jean. You can't, you can't, yeah. There's just too much, there's too much lore with Mike Bivvy. I can't wear a bitty jean.

Post-career. Got muffs, right? Laker 73, Rodman? Dirk on the Mavericks is pretty hard too. Yeah, that's nice, that old school Mavericks. That yellow Josh Smith jersey is rough. That is hard, that's a hard, that would be hard on a white guy to pull off, the muster Josh Smith.

Ooh, Michael Finley, that blue Mavericks. Yeah, that is pretty cool. That is great. Okay, we'll move on this after I get to the bottom of this page, I promise. I know it's Lakers. That's the Wilt that I bought. Oh, that's nice.

That is your dude, that's your color too. That's gonna look so good on you. That Iverson 3. I love the block letters on that. Why does the Iverson 3 look like a sports bra? It is, it's a sports bra. That's exactly what it is, I mean, yeah. Ooh, that T-Mac.

Yeah, that T-Mac Raptor jersey. Just that dribbling Raptor, iconic. Yeah. Iconic. Yeah. Oh, man. The T- at Houston throwback is great too. That Sonic's jersey is crazy too. Yeah, that's great. Gary Payton, 94, 95.

I had the worst knockoff replica of a Kemp one of that. I might still have it somewhere. I've got some knockoff Charles Barclays from when we did the Upside Pilot. Oh, that's right. Daring what, this, okay, this might not be a page of the Den. So we might. Well, then I guess this is a positive.

I don't know what to tell you. Denver AI. That Mugsy Bogues. Whoa. That Mugsy Bogues. Where's Mugsy Bogues? Up to the left. Oh.

Oh. I am a short king. You are a short king. I am a short king. That color a short king. I am a short king. That color scheme is so, that's so nice. We knew it at the time too. They didn't waste it on us. The lines are the different colors.

It's either the Telfair, if I'm going blades it's either Z-Bo or Telfair. Hold on, I think it's Z-Bo, man. I think it's Kilo Neil Cleveland Cavaliers jersey. Jesus. Cleveland Shack? Cleveland Shack. Okay, we've reached the bottom of the pit. Yao Ming is hard too, dude.

Yeah. It is. It would be cool if you had a Yao Ming jersey. It would be cool, right? I like the red over the red. I'm so lost in this I forgot we were doing something else. I kinda think this is your pivot just for the pod in general.

I don't think you draft anymore. I think you just look at jerseys all day. Oh, man. I do think maybe later this week we do a Patreon exclusive where we just scroll through Mitchell and Wedge one time. I think this is an emotional episode, if I'm being honest. If you want to go over to emotional hoops,

I think we should do that. We might have to import David and Sean. It would have to be the whole... Don't you take this from us. I'm not understanding the problem. Dude, they have an LSU shachters. Okay, now I'm in here. Okay, I gotta get it out of here.

Isaac, where can people see what you're up to? I'm at Isaac Haley on everything. I'm subscribed to Emotional Hoops. I'm working on The Goop Podcast. God, listen to that. The Goop Podcast. Wait, the real one one not POOG Yeah Not POOG

I don't think you can say that I think it's also on the Pog white Yeah No no don't do that It's Kate Relay in Jack O'Neill's Newback You said you were gonna let me come to that recording Oh yeah yeah yeah That's uh you know that's on a different channel uh different Now let me come to that recording. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

That's on a different channel. Now I gotta Google Poog and see if I fucked up. Be careful with what you Google, Ben. Careful. My name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel Cross Platforms. Watch my special, Comfort Beyond God's Foresight, creeping towards 100,000 views on YouTube. I'd love to get there.

It's a meaningless number, but it's a meaningful number. It's a big round number. Big round number. Read T-shirt, swim club, the book. Come see us in New Orleans. There we go. Thank you, Zach. This next week, we'll be there next week

if you're in the area. Is it next week? By the time they're listening to this. Oh, okay, this next week. We'll be there next week if you're in the area When by the time listening to this? Yeah, okay Check out over pack. Yeah Robert packs gonna be there dude pack the Portland Trailblazer great had his friends bread card New Orleans is gonna be amazing come see us the lineups are crazy Langston's gonna be there Jamel's gonna be there. We're gonna be there. Dulce.

Dulce's gonna be there. Shane's gonna be there on Sunday. Zach's gonna be there. Shane is coming? I'll be there. He'll be there on that Sunday. I'm not gonna do anything. Harper's gonna be there.

Isaac's gonna be there. Hey, Harper, what if we go back to the three-legged dog for a second? Oh, yes. What's the three-legged dog? Yes. We went there the night. I went there. Oh, were you? We were in New Orleans for my half hour. But like they do a crawfish boil at like six and then at like midnight.

I'm there. We were just there. They're like, you want to come to the back and eat some crawfish? What? Yeah, absolutely. I thought we were about to get jumped. I didn't know what was going on. Thick accents back in the... Yeah. Thick accents in the boil room. A real John Henry moment between my GLP-1 and the city of New Orleans.

It's going to be really interesting to see. Wait, you have your compound needle right next to you. Well yeah, I have, I keep them in a bag so when I can go to a responsible needle. Oh, sharps, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sharps, yeah. You can't just put that in the garbage. No, for sure, yeah, yeah.

I thought you just kept it on you. Well, you know I keep that thing on me. Did Mandel really shoot Ozempic on stage? Did he actually do it? I think he did and he threw it out into the crowd. That's incredible. My God. That guy's really gonna use a...

That whole thing about... It's a whole other level with that guy. He wants CTE for a day. Had me dying. He might be the funniest internet guy. Yeah, I think he's my only guy. His stand up is crazy, but I always stop. I always stop and I'm always rewarded.

You have to. That's it, come see us in New Orleans. Shout out to Mandel. Shout out to Mandel. Check out Mandel online if you see a clip. Watch Mandel online, come see us in New Orleans. It's gonna be fucking fun. We have some pretty fun surprises in store,

including one that might happen after the AFE podcast and right before the AFE stand-up show that I think you guys are gonna like. Oh that's right. Yeah, yeah. It's free ozempic for the crowd. It's free ozempic. We're shooting up, we're shooting everybody up. We're sharing needles too, we're going back to that. Let's get to the podcast for which we are here. We could talk about New Orleans all day long, we could talk about Mitchell on Um, let's get to the podcast for which we are here. Uh, we could talk about New Orleans all day long. We could talk about Mitchell and Webb literally all day long. We gotta get sponsorship.

Can somebody reach out? Yes, come on. If anyone lives near Mitchell and or Ness. Yeah. You know what? I think I know somebody. You know, Zach? I'm on it.

Zach! I'm on it. I'm on it. This is the best day of my life! I'm on it Tell them they want to sponsor us and all the smoke and those are the two podcasts they want to ride with Also, we got that guy's name. I can take a five percent two percent discount one percent discount I'll pay 5% discount when I'm out. I'm already going. I'll pay 5% extra. I don't care. A 10th free jersey, if you buy nine jerseys, the 10th one's free.

That might work. God, now I want a hockey jersey. Yeah. I think you could pull off a hockey jersey. I really do. He's sick, that's. This is slippery slope. I think you have the sauce you do always got the sauce for sure I think you have

the I think you have the body type I think you could pull off a hockey jersey I think the thing about it is you it's you use it sparingly you you only in the most appropriate moment that's the thing about a jerseys, you can't just be out here all the time. Maybe you get the purple and gold LA Kings jersey. They must have. Oh they do. Back when they had Lakers colors. Yeah.

The Chicago Blackhawks is also like a classic. Oh that's a great. I don't know about the morality of the Indian. I genuinely am not sure. It's a good looking jersey. The one that's always looked good to me is the Edmonton Oilers guys It slips is that easy it's that easy. It's that easy to get comfortable. Listen, we're 44 minutes into the week.

We're aware that it's also been a minute since we've had a woman guest on the show. That's the thing that we're aware of. We had some bookings fall through. That's not why Zach and Isaac are here. We wanted to have them on anyway. And maybe if you were like tuning in, like, oh, I bet they have a woman this week.

And then you log in, log in, you listen to the podcast. No, you gotta write, log in. And it's 45 minutes of throwback Jersey talk, which is the opposite of having a woman on the podcast. Katie Nolan would do this. Katie definitely would do this. Are you gonna text Katie? We all bought some Bruins, but yeah.

Not to get her in here, but I'm like, Katie, are you interested in throwback jerseys? I'll find out. We're here to draft signs of a bad movie. Now the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of the problem with football jerseys is the arms. Yep, yep. That's true though. It just never looks the way you want it to. There's like a certain kind of guy who can do it. Yeah, a very certain kind of guy who can pull it off.

Very skinny, but cool and tall can pull it off. Or like rectangular. You know, if you're a full rectangle. Yeah, a full rectangle dude can do it. Like you can be a boxy guy. For some reason, baseball jerseys don't get enough play, but it's a good jersey to have, because it's like a shirt.

I think baseball jerseys are cool as shit. Yeah. They can be a little boxy though, I feel like. They can be a little boxy, but it's a good jersey to have. Because it's a good shirt. I think baseball jerseys are cool as shit. They can be a little boxy, though, I feel like. They can be a little boxy, but it's a button-up. You got a big one, you put a hoodie under it. You can wear it. The baseball jersey hoodie combo is clutch. You can also wear it open. With like a tape top underneath.

Absolutely. Some necklaces. Some chest hair up. We're doing this again. We're doing it again. Guys, guys, guys. We got to draft. We have to draft.

OK, but what if I wear a Daryl Strawberry jersey? Yes. Dodgers or Mets? If I could get a Dodger? Nope. The problem with the Dodgers is they don't have the names on the back. That's true. Yeah, you needed to say Strawberry on the back of it. The Roller King Game of Rock paper says it's played between the three of you. Also, one last thing. Why does MitchellandNess.com have a so-so def

hockey jersey? Hold on a second. Wait, hold on. Hold on a second. Now hold on a second. Hold the goddamn minute. What? Wait a minute.

Excuse me? Wait a goddamn minute, David. I gotta save that for like a goddamn christening or something. Where do you wear that? Yeah, your niece is baptizing or some shit. That's my uncle over there. No, no. No hockey jersey.

No, yeah, he's out. He's out. He's been out for a minute, yeah. I'm just saying they have a Pedro Martinez Montreal Expos mesh. Oh, it's only in small. Now I do not like the New York Mets, but a Doc Gooden? Cause that's not about the Mets at that point, that's about something else.

Okay, this is the last thing I'm saying, Gretzky on the Oilers. That's what I'm saying. That's a sick jersey. That's what I'm saying, yeah. Has enough time passed for a no distance. Shit, they have it in my size, shit. Has enough time passed for an OJ Simpson, actually yes. The answer is actually yes.

Yeah. That enough time has passed for an OJ Simpson Jersey. But, you know what's funny? This is exactly what I thought. Don't drop links. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Don't drop links. This is, but now that you have.

This is exactly what I thought it was gonna be like being a grown up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. On a using future technology to discuss Mitchell and Ness. Now what are the fits on these? I was on a call with my friends.

What are the fits on these? Like if I'm- How can jerseys lose? If I'm an XL, I'm an XL? I don't know. That's a great question. That's a great question. I buy a lot of soccer jerseys and they're tight. So I always have to buy. They're tight, right, exactly.

One size up. They end up looking like soccer tees. Soccer tees? Oh, I get it. Soccer tees. They end up looking like soccer tees when you wear them. They fit like a t-shirt. Soccer tees.

And we throw and shoot, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh! Harper wins! Scissors against two rocks flying in the face of God. I'm gonna be honest, I couldn't see. I was taking down the Mitchelins. I did not see the game.

I know, it's crazy. I did not bet on baseball. The Fernando Valenzuela jersey does have a name on the back. Oh, the Dodgers one? Yeah. Oh, okay. He means a lot. I don't wanna fake the okay. He means a lot.

I don't want to fake the fun. He means so much to the Mexican community of Los Angeles that I feel like if I'm wearing a Fernanda, like maybe, maybe there's some askance glances that I'm not looking for. I wouldn't want to step on any toes, so maybe I don't get that. But Oral Hersheiser? Oral, oof. Now, Harper, as the winner of Rock Paper says, it isn't coming upon you to determine the order of today's draft, but before you do that, I must remind you it is a serpentine

draft. And what is that? That's a great question. All right. I think I got it. Now you're on Mitchell and S. Okay. God damn it. Okay.

Oh, I thought you, I thought I was in that position. Well, let me open it so I can really... Hold it up, hold it up. I feel like I can experience it, you know, touch it. And you're like, hey. So I'm hovering over a Hideo Nomo Dodgers jersey. You're like, hey, a Hideo Nomo Dodgers jersey? Yeah. Hold on, let me open it so I can really... Hold it up, hold it up. I feel like I can experience it, you know, touch it. So I'm hovering over a Hideo Nomo Dodgers jersey.

You're like, hey, a Hideo Nomo Dodgers jersey, but, you know, I'm kind of more old school than in the 90s. I want to go check out a Jose Conseco Athletic A's, so let me go over there. And then, well, since I'm on the A's, I might as well check out if they got a Mark McGuire. Well, no, let me go back over to the Dodgers and let me see if there's an Eric Caros over there because I was already over there earlier Eric Caros well, I'm on Eric Caros. I might as well check out a Mike Piazza. Well in the 90s Let me go up to the 2000s. Love me some angels is Jim Edmonds over there. Jim Edmonds is over there So, you know, you kind of check out two players on that era Yeah, to maybe the 70s check out two players in that era You go, you kind of check out two players on that era Yeah, to maybe the 70s check out two players in that era

You go to the 2010s to check out two players on that era, you know kind of back and forth like that And then you're also like maybe a Royal Cincinnati Royals 1964 authentic quarter-zip shooting shirt Basically if you pick Chris Bosh in the first round, you pick Tracy McGrady in the second round. Now Zach, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I think I am gonna get that Konseco jersey. Okay. So you're going first?

Yeah, I'll go first. Allen Iverson, George- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, I'm just going to go in the circle, kind of the order of the box for me here. Me first, David, Isaac, Ian. Hot corner. Hot corner. The order is Harper, David, Isaac, Ian.

Harper's going to make his first pick right after. We take this short break. Sponsored by Mental LMS. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Stitch Fix. his first pick right after we take this short break. Sponsored by Mental LMS. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Stitch Fix. Shopping is hard. Going to the mall I love. Shopping I do not love.

I couldn't be more clear on that. If I have something I need to get, I can never find it. I have no idea what size I am from day to day. It kinda depends on how many buffalo wings I had. All of that stuff I just want to throw away. I wanna go to the mall and have fun like I normally do not have to worry, it kind of depends on how many buffalo wings I had. All of that stuff I just want to throw away. I want to go to the mall and have fun like I normally do not have to worry about it. And I found a way to make that happen with Stitch Fix. It's online personal shopping and they have a stylist.

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Clyde Drexler All-star game 92 ish. I Don't know what to tell you if this is your first all fantasy everything. I'd love to tell you this isn't what it's like This is what it's like sure. This is what New Orleans gonna be like Zach Harper. It is time for your first pick Of a bad movie is what we're drafting signs of a bad movie signs the movie is going to be bad You know'll understand it I'm gonna make this very personal to me I don't care if this is you know if this works for everybody But these are the I decided I was like I could make it to where everyone agrees or I could just make it to

Where this is gonna be very what works for me? This is just gonna be what works for me the number one thing that makes me know that a movie is going to be bad Rob Schneider's in the trailer. Hey I cannot stand Rob. Wow. I hate Rob Schneider. Yes He's been in a couple of movies here and there that are that are good that are funny that work But for the most part if I see him in a trailer, I immediately check out Okay, I don't like him as a person. I Don't like him. I'm not a great person. I don't like him as a comedian. Mm-hmm

The whole look this is gonna be controversial. I'm sure I Don't think you can do it as funny I'm over interesting I'm like I'm all good. I'm now now You never thought it was funny Maybe because it it had first maybe the first five times. Well, yes. Yeah, that's what. Maybe the first five times. Well, yes, yeah, that's what I'm saying. First five times, sure.

It's been a while. Hasn't it come back around? No, because we just did it in the last couple of years for Cinephobe, and no, I didn't, not even cracked a smile. Is he still doing it? Did he do it in Hubie Halloween, for example? Like I... I don't know.

Cause he's not doing it in uncut gems, of course, but like... I don't know, but I genuinely... Cause he's been in a bunch, we've done a bunch of Sandler movies for Cinephobe, and every time he's on the screen, I'm like, I just don't get it. What if... Is he in the trailer for The Waterboy?

Yeah. Absolutely. That's a good movie. He's an anti-vaxxer? He's an anti-everything. Yeah, I wouldn't go down that. Whatever your politics are, just assume he's on the other side. Anti-LGBTQ? Yeah. Oh, this guy sucks. Oh, he's on the other side. Anti-LGBTQ? Yeah. Oh, this guy sucks.

Oh, he's the worst. Yeah. And he, like, I think in the, like, when he was on SNL, like, he was pretty funny. I thought, like, at the time, like, he was pretty funny. And then the more exposure I got to him, it was like, oh, he's got, he had, like, a one-trick thing going. And then, like, you know, like in, like, the grown-up movies and stuff and like just the more he's in in any Sandler movie I just thought I'm like you've got nothing. Yeah, like he's got absolutely no moves

He's got a friendship with Rob Schneider With Adam Sandler or with Adam Sandler. Yeah, that's all yeah. Yeah. No, that's what he's got Like that's that's what he's got. But I just that is the if I see him in a trailer I know immediately like this you're out. This is out. Yeah, it's not the kind of Sandler movie you like And if he's in another movie's trailer, you're like, what is he doing there? Yeah, I'm like this can't be this can't work Made it to the trailer. Yeah, if he's yeah, if he's in the trailer, how good can this movie be? Yeah, got it. Got it I think it's a good I think it's a good thing I have I I think with a lot of these,

there's exceptions that prove the rule. For me, sure. Although I haven't seen it in a long time, I do like the water boy. Should I get a Lawrence Taylor jersey? I think you should. Yes, yes, absolutely. You have to, you have to.

That's exactly what you were talking about. Now, are you talking New York Giants? Are you talking sharks any given Sunday? I you talking Sharks? Any given Sunday? I don't go for like a movie jersey. Now, are you saying if I got you a Kyle Watson from either Georgetown or Birdies Birdmen or the high school team that he played on in Above the Rim, you wouldn't rock that.

I don't think I would. 54, Kyle Watson. I think Sean would rock that. I had a T-shirt of it. Yeah, I had a t-shirt, too. I Did the movie throwback? At least this is about movies. I don't I like I Saw somebody wearing like a smalls like sandlot baseball jersey the other day and I was like that's whatever that is That's not what I meant. I saw someone wearing the who's a kid from Mighty Ducks Adam Banks. Yeah, I saw someone wearing that I was like Yeah, I don't know about that. Yeah. Now if it was an actual anaheim Mighty Ducks Jersey with

If I could remember I could was Keith Kachak on that dream. I think there was a Kachak on there All right, Kachak. I don't know go on Mitchell and Ness and check it out. There's gotta be There was a kachuk on there. All right, Kachuk. I don't know go on Mitchell and Ness and check it out. There's gotta be Rob Schneider in the trailer. Yeah, that's number one for me David Borey When they say the title of the movie too early Yeah, that's a great you know what I mean, what you can actually like oh you blew your load you don't have anymore Yeah, and now I know that that's RoboCop 2. I remember where You want you want that come in like right about the 75% of the way through mark Or even the end like the breakfast club. Yeah, yeah, that's like the variant.

That's actually the most, it can't be in the first quarter of the movie. Sting, Tantric, sex moment. Yours truly, the Breakfast Club. It's gotta be the end, like, I guess we really stayed up from dusk till dawn. Yeah. And that's not really what happens,

but you understand what I mean. Yeah. Yeah, if it comes way too early, it's a little bit embarrassing. You're like, we don't know where we're at. Yeah, it's like, come on, man. It's just like you're, you're, you're, you're a lot. You're resorting on trickery too early.

Now you know what's interesting? So the prestige, right? They say the prestige early on in the movie, the prestige, but that's because it's part of a magic trick. It's crucial. Yeah, I don't think you can. But they land, they kind of like land it at the end where, oh, the entire movie has been building towards the prestige. And in that way, it's like, oh, they said it early, but they didn't show you the prestige, the act of it until the end. And I think that's like a cousin of this,

but like in a good way where you're like, oh shit, they waited to, they're like, that's cool. Yeah, I don't think that counts of like, oh, they said it so early. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. David's pick is pure, not like yours, where I can think of several examples where Rob Schneider is good.

Yeah, the examples where you haven't watched it in a long time, so you don't know how bad it is because you're just going off your terrible taste. Isn't he in Mr. D's? Didn't we just talk about getting the Mr. D done to Mr. D's? Oh, I mean, the title screen's great. Yeah, okay, if he's in the title screen.

Yeah, come on. Okay, good, all right. That's different. Sorry, that's on me. Movie title too early, excellent. Isaac, your first pick. Your first pick on all fantasy everything. Wow.

Well, since, yeah, I mean, before I, yeah, I guessed it one time before I... Yeah? Yeah, like a long time ago. Oh, god, that's right. What did we draw? Names for pets. Names for pets. Yeah, yeah, that's what we drew.

That's right. Do you have any pets? I have a dog. Really trying to force this mistake I made into a bet. No, it's working. Oh, brother, that's my whole lifestyle I built a whole thing about it come see me tonight at the Dallas in-bronze Dallas Comedy Club the first thing that when I saw this topic the first thing

that went through my mind was the movie holiday where the premise of the movie is this incredibly hot actress Is supposed to be not hot? That's how I know it's gonna be a bad movie. I see I see I know what you're saying Where we're supposed to buy that a hot person isn't hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're going in with a faulty premise All right. That's that's a very good one where you're like, all right, this is, you didn't even try Emma. They're trying to tell us that Emma Roberts is hot. Right.

Yeah. Like what do we, what do we do? The premise of it is she can't get a date. Oh my God. Emma Roberts can't get a date. They're trying to tell us that Eric Roberts, his daughter, isn't hot. Somebody who has half of Eric Roberts' DNA? You're telling me that because she's got glasses on, Rachel Lee Cook isn't hot?

That's insane. That's insane. Because her hair's up? And a hole. That was my type. Yeah, absolutely. Hot Brunette glasses, hair up? Is.

Married. Yes, you're married. Locked it in. You got the Rory Gilmore. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. Come on now.ory Gilmore, yeah. Yeah. Dude. Come on now.

Alexis Bledel? Come on now. Come on. Come on now. Come on now. Come on now. Later seasons only now, if I'm referring to it now. Well yeah, I was right in the pocket. Right in the pocket.

Just to point out. Yeah. At the time. Yeah, somebody who's not being too, there's gotta be some other examples. Like Rachel Lee Cook is the big, oh, she took off her glasses. Yeah.

Yeah. Which then became like a cliche trope, right? But at the time, I just remember thinking like, when she's on the screen, the first time I saw her, I'm like, she's hot. Like, what do we do? This is bullshit! This is bullshit! I Yeah, I Think glasses are sexy. Absolutely. You know what's another funny is when they

Like Margot Robbie in the Barbie movie where they just like she didn't wear makeup and then it was like, yeah Like I'm ugly now. It's like you're still you're still just don't get one. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I found a list So this doesn't be going off top, but I also found that Germain O'Neil There was a movie called the Duff which stand I think for dumb ugly fat friend is that what Duff stands for something like that Yeah, oh, I didn't know that and Meg Whitman who is Attracted. May Whitman. May Whitman. Yeah plays the Duff and that's that's insane Oh when Gretchen starts putting on weight wait Gretchen Weiner. Gretchen Weiner is the not pretty one, but that's kind of a joke Who's Gretchen Weiner? In Mean Girls? In Mean Girls.

Oh yeah, yeah. She was the finest one. Yeah. She was the finest one. Absolutely. Also, member of the tribe. Oh. Get on you guys.

Molly Ringwald in 16 Candles is supposed to not be pretty. Yeah, get outta here. Get outta here, what the fuck. Get right outta town. Shailene Woodley in The Spect spectacular, okay, this is, yeah. Yeah, okay, that movie's, that was my big gripe with it, is like Shailene Woodley's not supposed to be beautiful in this movie? Yeah.

The Mean Girls thing is obviously a joke. They were playing where Gretchen Wiener's not pretty, but like, yeah, that's a good sign. She's all that, that's the OG. Is she's all that good? No. No, no, a good sign. She's all that, that's the OG. Is she's all that good? No. No, no, no, no. I like it, but it's not.

That movie sucks. It's not good. I thought that movie sucked in sixth grade. That's a, that, do you remember the first time you thought a movie sucked? It was around that, because I remember being a little kid and thinking, I like every movie I've ever seen. You do, it's all good, I'll take all this you got.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like Silent Hill was the first one where I was like, that sucks, yeah. Sitting in the theater, I was like, fuck is this? Oh, you know what? I remember the first movie, Big Mama's House 2. You should have known going in. I know, I loved the first one.

Is that the one with Brandon T. Jackson? You had to come back to that movie having lived a life and now it's one of your favorites, right? Now you used to get it. It's like the Great Gatsby where you're like, Oh, I wasn't in a place in my life where I could really appreciate what they were saying. I needed awards that make me appreciate it. Yeah. That's a great pick, Isaac. Hot person isn't hot. Okay. I'm going to, with my first one, I'm going to go,

I have a few. Okay. The Rock is working really hard on Instagram to sell us on why this movie is a success. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Yep. Yes. Yes. I don't believe him at Yes, I don't believe him at all. I don't believe him at all! The harder he works. I don't believe shit The Rock says.

Yeah, no, he's a liar. He's a liar. The Rock is in some movies I've really enjoyed, obviously, the Fast and the Furious movies. The Rundown. The Rundown, I think the man is, when he's in his lane, I think it doesn't get better than The Rock. But every now and then, you'll see The Rock on Instagram

pouring a tarum on a toast to the fact that Black Adam is the highest grossing DC superhero movie to come out in the third week of May, starring a actor of Pacific Islander descent. Sense. Who played for the University of Miami. Who played for Miami. And it's just like, dude, you're doing too much.

That's too much. Those are too many caveats. You gotta list stat news stats to see this movie. If he is promoting something or celebrating something that, like a movie he's in, and you see Terra Mana on the table, run. It's not good. It's not good. Yeah. If he's got Terra Mana in there... Because that movie was made for the Terra Mana, not the heart.

Exactly. Yeah. If you see Zoa, if you see the energy drink coming out, yeah with the Terra mana. Yeah, if he's mixing them. Oh my god That's a movie my bankrupt the studio. It's my ruin his movies make money, too The guy you cannot argue with results if you if you cast that dude, he's gonna work So I'm movies make money. Yeah, I'm sure I'm saying this out of respect to the Rock. He will fucking put on For a movie that does not ultimately work in a way that you don't see a lot other actors kind of run from a bomb Yeah, the Rock runs into a bomb. He does not care what you think about the quality of his business He will jump on a grenade. He will jump on a grenade

He will jump on a grenade. It is a belly sometimes Yeah, literally often yeah, he'll be jumping on a grenade in the movie and then he has to jump on the ground, huh? It is about the business. Yeah, literally. Often, yeah, he'll be jumping on a grenade in the movie and then he has to jump on that grenade. Yeah. I can only respect it at this point. There was a while where I was like, all right, man, but at this point I'm just like, no, Chris Evans is in a lot of shitty movies.

Chris Evans isn't doing this with that shitty movie. Chris Evans isn't. He lets them go. When The Grey Man comes out, Chris Evans is like, I don't even know if I was in that. You're telling me I was in it, I believe you. I don't remember. The Rock would have been like, The Grey Man is the number one most streamed

Russo Brothers movie to come out. On a Tuesday. On Netflix in the same week that Is It Cake drops. Like a taramana toast to every, and they always threw the crew in there. On Netflix in the same week that is it cake drops like it were like a Teram on a toast to ever and always threw the crew in there like it must feel great to have the rock Hype you up like that for sure Cuz he's gotta justify the 45 million dollar salary that he got as a star slash producer You're in it for you. You know you get paid what you aren't the rock. They're working too hard

There are two Darrell Dawkins jerseys that have my eye You're earning free, you know, you get paid what you earn. The Rock, working too hard. There are two Daryl Dawkins jerseys that have my eye. Zach! You can't pull off a football jersey, dude. You cannot pull off a football jersey. No, Daryl Dawkins. Oh, well who am I thinking of? 76ers.

You're thinking of Brian Dawkins. Brian Dawkins! No, Daryl Dawkins. Although, when you hear Brian Dawkins jersey, doesn't it party you? I got a little hard. Doesn't party you start feeling a little bit? Yeah.

When you said that, just a little bit. got a little hard. Doesn't party you start going a little hard? I got a little hard. Yeah. When you said that just now. Just a little bit. Goddamn Mitchell and this. Okay, here, let me see. That's broken up families, I'm sure. That website. For sure, where it's like you got another, like sometimes I will wait until Dana goes to bed

to bring a record I bought into the house. It's happened last night. It's happened last night. What was the record? So are you whispering right now? She's not even home and he's whispering. She's home, she's in the other room. It's... But I have so many now that I'm like,

she's not gonna notice I put three more in the snack. She doesn't. She also wouldn't care, but it's me being ashamed where I'm like, and it's not the content, it was like a John Coltrane record, it was an Oscar Peters, whatever. It's not the content of the records. It's-

No, it's the, I think it's the speed at which you're accumulating. Right, and it's you having to explain, no, it's cool because it's Mateen Cleves on Michigan State. Right. He's a national champion. Exactly. It is the jazz record equivalent of like,

this is you only, this is Oscar Peterson playing live with two different bass players in Montreux. I had to get it, even though I have 15 other Oscar Peterson records. Like, it's insane. Oscar Peterson record like it's Switzerland It's Switzerland, baby. We're all the best jazz is made. Dwayne Wade went to Marquette. Yeah, that's why it's cool It's a foundational part of his This is the

Mashburn before Tony Braxton broke them up. This is that one There should be a little you you should wear a QR code on your Mitchell and S jersey, kind of explaining even why, why. Yeah. Get more of the lore. Where I'm like, so Sebastian Telfair was on the blade, first point guard to get drafted out of high school,

directly went to Lincoln High School, was like on Sports Illustrated, brought a gun on a plane. And this is right. You used to be able to do that. You used to try this is right. You used to be able to do that. You used to be able to do that. You used to be able to do that. You used to be a proper country. Pretty 9-11. People used to take...

Dude, I saw an interview with Warren G. where he was like, yeah, back then you could just take it on a plane. You're like, what? Who told you that, Warren G.? Oh, yeah, Warren. You're like what? Who told you that, Warren G? Go on, Warren. The Rock working too hard. For my second pick, I'm going to take animated movie

that relies too, in the marketing, is too reliant on the star power of its vocal cast. Huge, huge. The Life of yes, yes exactly Why you why am I if on the poster I'm seeing real-life human faces Yeah, usually down along the bottom. That's a bad sign for an animated movie Yeah, you'll even see in the trailer they'll'll be like, oh, why am I seeing the rock and Kevin Hart, and then you show me the animation.

Yeah, I don't need that. Shrek didn't do that. Shrek had Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers in it. Eddie Murphy. Two massive stars, but they weren't like in the trailer, look how much fun these two were goofing around. No, they had a movie they believed in. Exactly.

Right? Pixar, Ratatouille has had an Oswald a guy some of us know we shouldn't you know what I mean like that's yeah he's famous but he's not like insanely fat I could call I could text him like they know it's a good film because they know it's a good movie you know like there's an a Pixar animator is one of the voices of the voice of the chef who really ratatouille's Animators voice because they were just like he did the scratch tracks and they were like sounds good great get in there Because they believe in their movies. You don't know who's in half of those movies

Disney golden era same thing. You don't know In a bad animated movie is a slog man. That shit is hard To I I fucking hate watching a bad animated movie. It's so bad Cuz it's you're also just starting you're like watching a cartoon right now Once you start thinking about that if there's any real people what the fuck is going on? Yeah, what am I doing? Yeah He's a dear friend of mine. But you know, like if you're like showing James Corden goofing around in the studio, you don't need to. It's not gonna be a good movie. Yeah, it's not gonna be a good movie. Uh, so that's my pick. Animated

movie that relies too much on. That's a great pick. On the vocal talent in the marketing. Isaac, time for your second pick. Oh, I have a few. I don't wanna do trailer-based stuff yet. Well, you better have four more. I do have four. I don't know if you're familiar with the All Favors Everything podcast.

I've only produced 200 of these now. Is that what you're up to? That's pretty sick. Well, I think getting there, I don't know. Definitely more than 100. That's four years. Have you been with us for four years? No, two years, a little cool. Getting there, I don't know. Definitely more than 100. That's four years. Have you been with us for four years? No, two years, a little over two years,

but including the Patreon stuff. Patreon, yeah. Plus all the unreleased episodes. And the nudes. He produced the nudes. Yeah, I produced my nudes. He produced the nudes. Should we start a rumor right now

that there's 200 unreleased episodes of All Famous, Everything? Yes. With all the racist content? Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and we'll sell them to Mitchell and us in exchange for jerseys yep It's mark Jackson Pacers jerseys kind of hard man, all right Jackson is really cool I'm thinking okay the franchise actors first movie after the franchise Yes

Yeah Because he's trying to break the mold they're trying to do something different the whole point of the movie is she's like don't Blah blah blah exactly Stop thinking of me as the Hulk or whatever. Yeah. What a great pick. You know, this is why Daniel Radcliffe was smart. Incredible. Because he was just like I'm just gonna do plays for a while. I'm in Equus, my dick is out. Yeah. Yeah. What do you really know about Harry Potter? And then he had horns and then he did my favorite movie of all time. Check out this one. He had horns and then he did my favorite movie of all time. Check out this one.

Yeah. All right, I'm watching. Okay, I'm looking at Tobey Maguire's career here because I feel like this is probably a pretty good example. Yeah. So he's doing Spider-Man. His next movie after the first Spider-Man is Seabiscuit, which, you know, your mileage may vary,

but it's not a bad, bad movie, but he's still in the franchise. Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 3. Cameo in Tropic Thunder as a MTV Best Kiss Award winner. Yeah but that I mean that's a but then the the I'm out of the it's something called Brothers. Never seen it. Oh with Edward Norton. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah That movie looked intense. I never saw no no, this is jake jillan hall jake jillan hall natalie portman Oh, but it's the same thing. I'm thinking all right. He comes back exactly what you're thinking of. Yeah somewhere. Yeah

Yeah, while on tour in afghanistan sam's helicopter is shot down and is presumed dead back home It's his screw-up brother who has to look after the family. Right, yes. And Sam does return, but with excess baggage. That's exactly a I'm not Spider-Man anymore movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop thinking of me as Peter Parker. David Benioff wrote it. Oh, of Benioff and Weiss? Him and two other people.

Yeah, Benioff and Weiss. That is a movie that I bet Toby Royer talks about being on set for, and Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman don't. Now, Natalie Portman doesn't even know she was in it. No, I don't think they're like, but I think he's like when I was on, what's this movie called again? Brothers with Jake and Natalie, you know, I really.

Jake and Natalie. I felt like I plumbed the depth. Yeah, that's a good one. Where does the mother, like, old Captain America, I uh, dab. Yeah, that's a good one. What does the mother do? Like, old Captain America, I mentioned him earlier. Yeah, Chris Evans. Only because he just keeps making stinkers. Yeah, man.

He was in that one with the, um... The one on Apple TV Plus, the spy one? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That three seconds of silence? Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That three seconds of silence, exactly. Yeah, exactly. He also made like a before sunset ripoff movie that he directed. Did he make an evil Christmas movie?

He was in Red One. With the aforementioned The Rock. Who would like to point out that it is the highest streamed Christmas movie to come out starring a former Avenger star Do you know what the rock on a streaming platform? No 50 to be fair Chris Evans did make knives out Great role Chris Evans was in knives out. It was good He was in knives out yeah Chris Evans Chris Evans was in Knives Out. That's true. He was in Knives Out. Chris Evans, Chris Evans. Written, directed, starred.

There are a lot of actors you could put in that sweater. Sure, yes. Great fucking sweater. The sweater is the star of that movie. See, this is my thing with the movie Drive, is it's just the jacket people like. It's a fine movie. It's a fine movie, but if it's just a normal jacket people would not care

But you need kind of that like You couldn't put Chris Evans in that jacket for example No, but like it's it look Gosling's good the movie's good, but people like that's one of the greatest movies every that was movie Was amazing like no it's the jacket. It's good. Jack is a good soundtrack fucking denim jacket. No one cares Jill and Hall could do that role. I Don't think Jill and Hall's got that. Oh, yeah, you can do drive No, you know, I don't know how got one move. He's got one move and it's still has one move just look surprised You got one movie that surprised if we boy I think he's got more moves, but that is his move. Yeah

David time for your second pick When the song has more star power than the movie. Like the song itself. Yes. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Where it's like, what song is that Goo Goo Dolls movie? What movie is that? And I don't want the world to know. Does this, is this like trailer?

You know what's a good example of this? And people have come back around on this movie and to be fair, I have not seen it since, I have not, actually we're being honest. I just said I wouldn't lie about having seen movies anymore. I have not seen The Michael Mann Miami Vice. Oh. No me. Okay. I've seen it a lot. Vice. Oh. No, me. Okay.

I've seen it a lot. I watched it, but I was baked. It's like a fever dream. I've seen it a lot. I've seen it many times. I have not seen it. People have come around on it. It has gotten a real critical reappraisal.

But that is a movie where the Jay-Z Linkin Park song in the trailer was like, that was the selling point. It's not good, but it's fun. Okay. It's a fun movie. Don't go into it expecting like, an incredible movie or even a great action thriller or anything, but if you just go in with no expectations,

it's a fun movie. Allegedly Colin Farrell was doing like a Sean Camp in Cleveland amount of cocaine during the production of that. Absolutely, I know the person who was like his liaison off set, I can confirm. What a fancy French word for drug dealer. Yeah.

Yeah. A little bit of a liaison. A liaison. Yeah. When I don't have custody. This guy was basically like, all right, well, we're not shooting. You have to just make sure he doesn't do all of it.

Like, and you're following him everywhere. Is this guy in there doing coke so he doesn't? It's the opposite of like, oh my God, what's the Rolling Stones song that's in every trailer? Oh, well, that's the Scorsese one. That's, it's just a shot away. Yeah, if that's the Scorsese one. That's a, yeah, it's just a shot away. Yeah. If that's a trailer, I'm fucking in. Yeah. I don't care what the movie,

I don't care what you're showing me in a trailer. I will watch that movie every time. Yeah. If that's a trailer, I'm in. I feel like it just happened like a lot, especially in the nineties where you'd be like, Whoa, Jay Z's on the soundtrack to nutty professor, too Sometimes there's a beautiful where they're both good and that's what these bad boys do Yes, or my heart will go on the two the two

King and the queen of this example. Yeah, shake your tail feather and my heart will go on the two the two the king and the queen of this example Yeah, shake your tail feather and my heart will go on. Yeah, but it can't be yeah, it can't be where the song Overpowers. Yeah everything that's happening on this does This overlap at all with there was a song like will will Smith made a song for this movie Or is that a different or we made a movie around a couple times? That was a couple times. It did not work another time Wild Wild West it did not work for Wild Wild West. It's always better than the movie. Well Hold on a giant mechanical spider Zack Doing hold on you host sinophobe. I think you're

Whatever the fuck her name is. That movie sucks, Zach. That movie sucks. It's a bad movie. Wild, Wild West sucks. When's the last time you watched it? When's the last time you watched it? Two summers ago. All right.

Yeah, it sucks. And then I also watched it in COVID. It can't be good. Watch it with me. It's bad. It's bad with everybody. It's cool. Isaac, when did you put it? Why are you dropping jerseys in the chat?

Isaac, you're the producer. Hold on. I just saw it and I was like. No, but this is J-Will. J-Will. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, There's enough guys that that would just be the rest of the podcast. Yeah Expected better I know I know you're the youngest one here, but you're the most responsible. That's a that's a me move That was a real harper move. That's a harper move. Yeah, I apologize

You don't want that charles oakley raptors jersey though. Stop Okay, but yeah, that's cool. I should Get a Robin, Robin Yelp Brewers jersey? Guys, guys. Man. Derek Fisher Powder Blue. Zach's pick. Minneapolis Lakers jersey. Oh, Zach's pick, it's Zach's pick.

They're not all gonna be trailer ones, but I feel like this is an important trailer one. Yeah. That you just know, okay? And I can sum it up in seven words. From the director of The Sixth Sense. Ha, ha, ha ha! He's growing up my man, Shama Lama.

Yeah. Not that there aren't a couple of exceptions, but for the most part, that's gonna be bad. There are a couple of exceptions. There are a couple of exceptions, but the rule is almost always proven. I didn't love... I listen to some movie podcasts now and then. Cinephile.

It's one of them. Oh, you're one of the five listeners that listens to Adnan Virk? Congratulations. Is Adnan Virk... Is that actually the name of Adnan Virk? Is he the guy behind Cinephile? Yeah. Oh, well, no.

Obviously, I was talking about Cinephobe doing an inside joke. You're one of the ten people who listens to Cinephile? Yeah. Oh well no obviously I was talking about some of them doing an inside joke You won the 10 I listen like blank check. I listen like you know every now and then the the Big picture or whatever and there's like there's like a big critical like that the trapped movie that came out this summer The m.i. Chamal on one where people were like, it's actually really good. I watched it I went in with an open heart and The M.I.C.C.H.A.M.A.L.O.N. one where people were like, it's actually really good. I watched it. I went in with an open heart and I walked out. I was like, that's not a good movie. That's not good.

With extremely low expectations. Yeah, same. Yes. Extremely low and thought, no. No, right, no. Just thought, no. That was my exact reaction. It wasn't Lady and the Water bad, but it wasn't good. No. No. Right. No. That was my exact reaction.

It wasn't Lady and the Water bad, but it wasn't good. No. It's just not good. Not what I was looking for. Not what I was looking for. And I felt like people were really, I think we, like, the door swung so far in the other direction on In Night Shyamalan that now film bros are like, no, no, all those movies were good.

And it's like, no. And you know what? Not a personality. It's not a personality to have. To where like, you know who's actually good? M. Night Shyamalan. It's okay. Because I remember watching the trailer for Trapped in a Theater.

I can't remember what movie I was watching, but I remember watching the trailer. And as it's unfolding, I remember thinking, this looks like a fucking Shyamalan movie. And then it says, from M. Night Shyamalan, I'm like like Jesus Christ I'd like to see David Sinsher take that idea on Guys, have you seen M. Night Shyamalan's wife? I've never seen M. Night Shyamalan

I mean, he's a good-looking guy. His wife is he's not a good-looking guy That M. Night is a good- looking guy that I trust their judgment on this. I don't trust gay men. You got eyes on this? But his wife... Which gay men are you hanging out who are like, you know who's hot is M. Night Shyamalan? How deep into the night was that? How many names? What round of the fantasy draft of good looking guys?

What 4am was that? That's a second call to the dealer night That's that's 630 in the morning, you know, who's actually fucking hot On this podcast we're gonna start We should invite him on this podcast we're gonna start Look at his look up his way him in hot ugly guys. I'm bad. I bet his wife is gorgeous Unbelievable, he's rich and night Shyamalan wife. He's rich. He's successful and he lives in Philadelphia. So he does Yeah Look he's not ugly, but he's not I'm not like

You're not wild. You're not wild. He's fine looking. He's not like as hot as, I don't know, like, God, I was trying to think of a hot basketball player. And then to segue into a throwback player. Chris Paul. Chris Paul, he's not as hot as Chris Paul, Charlotte Orr, or Jersey. Rick Fox, I like, yeah, Hortons jersey. Rick Fox? I like that pole.

Rick Fox is gorgeous. Oh my god. Now he looks like Lemony Snicket kind of. He does! He kind of does. In a good way, I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's doing, he's making moves.

Yeah. And your third pick, Harper. My third pick, this is gonna sound mean, and I don't mean it to sound mean. Meaner than writing off all of M. Night Shyamalan's career after the Sixth Sense? Yeah. Unbreakable, for example.

All right, we spoke too much on that. Not good, it's not a good movie. I like it. Go on. When John Travolta's fat. Yeah. Fat John Travolta just isn't good. Yeah.

What about hairspray? Well, isn't he in a suit? He's in a fat suit. I bet he's pretty fat underneath it too. Sure, sure. Sure. I'm gonna go to his, I'm gonna try to find. Dude, look at his last like 15 years.

The line of demarcation in his career. It's real bad. Cause he was still in good shape in Broken Arrow, right? That's 96. 95. Discography, oh filmography. There we go. Oh, I was like, oh no, you know that's... 2007 is Hairspray Wild Hogs.

You don't ride for wild hogs at all? What about bald trivolta? Bald trivolta's fun. Okay, well now bald trivolta's a different animal. Bald trivolta and fat trivolta kind of overlap a little bit. Yeah, there are some different examples. So that's the two tend to tend to feel like one starts right in the other story. So there is there is there is there is some, you know, this might end up as a future

pick, so I don't want to give away too much here, but there, there are some extenuating circumstances where a bald Travolta can get a pass, but a fat Travolta needs some real, some real scenarios here, but like a fat Travolta is just like, man, there there's, there's just some bad, there's a lot of bad there that, um, that really, cause he just, not that he has to be able to move, but when he can't, when he doesn't move around a scene, he like, he, he's stuck in the mud and he doesn't have a whole lot to, to charm you with anymore. He's got, he can still wink.

He can still wink. But he doesn't get a lot of winking roles when he's fat. Yeah. So we're talking about like Gotti? Gotti is a man. Gotti, he went for it and I don't think it's his fault, but the best part of Gotti is when he's like the fat version with cancer. Oh, the old of Gotti is when he's like the fat version with cancer.

Oh, the old, old Gotti. Yeah, saying trot instead of throat. And then the fact that they have like a barbecue in the 80s and they're playing Pitbull. Like that is, those are the best parts of the movie Gotti. Those are pretty good parts. Yeah. But that, I mean, that movie, I think that was the first 0% movie we did on on Cinephobe like but Fat Travolta like he just does not have it and I think he's charming like I think he's someone if he

should he should have it like the Brando fat Brando went fat like just got better like I don't think it's fat shaming I just think he doesn't know how to he doesn't know how to move with it. I think Hollywood doesn't know what fat and like just got better. Or it stayed as good. I don't think it's fat shaming. I just think he doesn't know how to move with it. I think Hollywood doesn't know what to do with fat trouble. Yeah, I don't think they don't. I'm gonna turn it around on the whole industry. Like, you know, the poison rose, he doesn't know what to do in there. He's like a, he's a Texas.

I can't believe you've seen that. I've seen it a couple times. Actually, I can't believe you've seen that. Yeah, we did an episode on it. He's like a Texas private investigator who was a former high school quarterback whose career was ruined because he started taking money and throwing games, and now he's gotta investigate

Morgan Freeman in some kind of weird oil land thing. I don't know, it's weird. Morgan Freeman is in a lot more movies than you hear about. That dude says yes. Same with Sam Jackson. Yeah. Yeah. They're in... They got yes. Same with Sam Jackson. Yeah. They're in... They got the same playbook.

Yeah. Yeah. Good playbook. It's gonna work for sure. Because they also don't... They don't mail it in. They'll say yes to it and they will nail it. They'll show up.

Oh yeah, he was in Captain Correlli's back mandolin. How many kids do you think... How many kids does Morgan Freeman have? Because... Walking down a... Why are we? Treacherous path. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, not a familial relations to Morgan Freeman.

What? Well, there's a scandal. Right? With Moe Freeman. No, I've never heard of it. He dated his step-granddaughter. What? And then she was murdered, but they never heard of it. I don't think I have. He dated his step-granddaughter. What? And then she was murdered, but they're not related stories.

Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know she was murdered. But those are, or she died, wasn't it? I think she was murdered. Yeah, wow. Jesus. Cut all that out and just put Sean saying something horrible. Yeah, make it so it sounds like Sean's saying that. Yeah. Excellent pick.

David, time for your third pick. Non-actor premiered widely in the trailers. Oh Tracy McGready was there Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that movie. I mean, this is gonna be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Introducing T.I. A speaking role by Beck. Yeah, Sean White's in it. You're like, that's not good, dude. You're like, wait a second.

I'm not upset to see Sean White as a surprise in the movie, but you're putting the cameo in the trailer? Yeah, that's bad. It was the entourage movie. It was the entourage. There's something about Mary I don't think led with the fact that Brett Favre was in that thing. No, that was a surprise.

No, that was awesome. And that was awesome. Yeah. Best thing Brett Favre's ever done? That is Super Bowl. Well, it depends on how you feel about, you know, conning Mississippians. I don't know. That or sexual harassment.

It's really where you fall in the political spectrum. Yeah. Brett Farve Jersey. Those are always funny too of like, why are you throwing that into the trailer? Are you that desperate? Because there's not that much going on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's it is the only Like is naked gun. Yeah. Yeah

But I think they're doing that as like they know what they're gonna know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great pick Isaac time for your third pick Kevin Hart Damn Isaac I really don't like this man's acting in any more in the industry Just me we love Kevin Hart the rest of us, I'm sure you guys all love Kevin Hart No, he's put out a lot of stinkers. I think we can all agree for sure I think he would well, I don't know if he would

Funny paper soldiers 40 year old virgin. He does some but like a yeah Don't even remember the last movie of his I watched and was like that was actually good. I like night Finally was good I kind of liked parts of it people love the Jumanji movies I haven't seen those that's those movies just seem to be big To harken back to another pick. He was the voice of ace the bat hand and DC League of Superpets Yeah, which they let us know about yeah, I saw I saw his face in the trailer He's interesting it's it's so funny that he's linked up with The Rock.

Yeah. You know what, like Kevin Hart's. For a while. Kevin Hart's recent. That's a business thing, right? Like people do business. He was in Hobbs and Shaw as like a tertiary character. I mean, he was funny in that.

They're similar dudes. But like I think the story of Kevin Hart is kind of the story of like getting comedies made in the last 20 years in Hollywood because he's in all these action comedies, you know like he's taken a few, like The Wedding Ringer I guess was like a, him trying to be you, like traditional Hollywood comedy.

Yeah, but that movie just felt cheap. Yeah, it did. It felt like. It felt like it just was done. He was like, look, I can do it for no money. The word hitch was for sure said in the selling it to. Absolutely. Absolutely.

But like movies, like comedies have to be like action comedies now. So it's hard for like Kevin Hart, like the kind of movies you would hope you would want him to do like don't Really get made even with like a Kevin Hart attached Right. I think part of that's the industry part of that's probably how he wants to be perceived as like an athlete, but Yeah, it's interesting. But yeah, you're right. Not a lot of good movies. What do we think of get hard?

I haven't seen in a long time. I didn't like it. Yeah What do we think of get hard I haven't seen in a long time I didn't like it Yeah, and I think there's like I think there's like two scenes that are funny and I'm just remembering those two scenes I don't like I don't think will ferrell misses a lot. Yeah, that was a miss It was a miss period for him Time for my third my fourth picks my third pick I'm going to take My third pick, I'm going to take, this is another trailer and advertising one, but I just think that's like how you, because that's when the studio starts to know, like, oh no, we have a really bad movie. The words from the producers of are anywhere in the market.

That was on my list. Yeah. Yeah, specific, because producers, you're like, so? A money guy? From the producers of Shrek? What are you talking about? Yeah, specific because producers you're like so From the producers of Shrek, what are you talking about? I don't care. I know Shrek was produced. Yeah, I had no idea I Thought somebody cut into an onion and Shrek fell out. Yeah, listen, I've been in a movie. I don't know what producers do fully. I think they like it like that. Yeah. I think they keep it vague on purpose. Cause it could be just a money guy.

You could be doing all the work. It's like very vague. It fully vacillates from the most important to the least important person on a movie set. I was almost a producer in a really low budget horror movie. I was dating someone who was gonna be in one. And and they were like and they were like they were real dating the blitz. This was when you were dating the Blair witch You can be absolutely. Yeah And just call her Jess

Called on set like just couldn't you couldn't look her in the eye? I'll say I'll say it more like the Blair bitch God You said that? You said it on me. I won't deny it. Sean Jordan. Sean Jordan does a flawlessly in Carmel. Sorry for using a gendered insult. You can say Blair. Yeah. And at one point they were like talking about like craft services not maybe not be I'm like well What would that cost like I don't know like 500 bucks 800 bucks something like that. I was like fuck I'll you know, I'll do that. I could but I could be like, okay

We'll do that anyways, they're like, I'll give you a producer credit. We'll give you a producer credit. I was like, that's a producer Could be yeah, sometimes yeah, a lot does cry. Did you help the production? They really do nothing They really are the part of yes. And then we broke up. Yeah, of course. What'd you get for craft services? No, it was before any of this happened. Oh, you didn't even do it. I took a big bite of an apple?

You sure did. I thought maybe we were going to rip for a little bit longer. I don't want to take a break. I want to chew through it. Okay, let's take a second break, we'll be right back. This episode of All Fantasy, everything is brought to you by Stitch Fix. Shopping is tricky.

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And with my fourth pick, I'm going to take what I call the Priyanka Chopra Jonas effect. Ooh. This is a thing that has happened as overseas markets have gotten more and more important to movies where you will have someone who is like a Bollywood star or a Dollywood star or like a huge actor in China.

Yep. Sort of like shoehorned into a movie for no real reason other than that's gonna get people in China to watch this movie. If it's done artfully, whatever, but it's almost never done artfully. I was gonna take this too. I was gonna take K-Pop Star in the movie.

Oh yeah, okay, yeah, like that kind of thing. It's never good. Where you're like, this is a craven and naked attempt just to get this movie, to get like more butts in seats. And it's usually a pretty bad movie. And they're usually bad at acting. Well, yeah, well, K-pop star, Priyanka Jonas is like an actor. She's an actual actor, but.

Yeah. Like, I think the Meg, for example, has like. Oh, hold on, we're not gonna. We're not gonna disparage the Meg, hold on a second. We're not going to, and this was like a big, like Chinese slash American production, but like, yeah, you're like, it's Jason Statham and Lee Bing Bing and Rainrose, you know,

and Winston Chaot, where you're like, okay, this is like, this was not done, this was not, and these are good actors, but this was a decision that was made to get butts in the seats rather than to make the best movie possible you know it's an economic reality okay the Meg notwithstanding maybe that was a bad example. The Meg 2. The Meg 2. The Meg 2 exactly yeah. I remember the Green Hornet back in the day with Seth Rogan and Jay Chow it's like Jay Chow is a gigantic actor in China and he's Taiwanese but but it's yeah that's, that's not a good movie.

That was tough. That's a tough one. Yeah. So yeah, the Priyanka-Jobar Jonas effect. I think. Time for your fourth pick. I mean, this is the obvious one, but like, when you watch the trailer and you feel like you've seen the whole fucking movie... Oh yeah. Why would I... you just gave me the movie in a minute and 30 seconds. I don't need to watch the movie. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Why would I, you just gave me the movie in a minute and 30 seconds. I don't need to watch the movie. That's just, I don't understand. They must,

they have, everything is like focus grouped and algorithm algorithmed out. So they must've found out that like it works. I guess. I guess. Somehow? I guess. Yeah. So, kind of playing off what David's was with like the unveiling of, you know, oh, and this person's in it. And then what you just said, Isaac, is, and this has always bothered me, and I'm not a big like Marvel movie person in general, but what I like Thor Ragnarok, like that's one of the few like I actually like and like really think it's a good movie.

But what has bothered me about that is in the trailer they unveiled that the Hulk is in the movie. Right? And if they don't do that that's actually like a really fun reveal if you're just watching the movie. Right? And that has bothered me. Yeah. Like there's that scene

and they do it in the trailer. Like every trailer was like and then there's that and oh they do it in the trailer. Like every trailer was like, and then there's that, and oh, he's gonna fight the Hulk. Yeah. And like, if you don't put that in the trailer, everyone goes in the theater, that's a big like, oh shit moment. Yeah.

That like the whole theater gets to experience. Instead, everyone knows going into it. Oh, and the Hulk's in this. And I guess that like brings people to the theater in some way, but it kind of ruins the big moment. Yeah, Mark Ruffalo has such a draw, obviously. Well, yeah. But it does.

They're like, oh, the Hulk's in this. I guess I'll go. But I do feel like a lot of those people would have gone already. They would have gone to see Hemsworth, right? It's a Marvel movie. Hemsworth, that's a hot guy. I'd like to see that.

I'd like to see more of that guy. I'd like to see his penis. Yeah. No, let's see it. Flaccid? Let's see it. Flaccid, half chub? Only half. I'd like to see a half way there.

Half chub. Quarter of the way there. I'm only into flaccid. You're not into hard neck? I think that means you're not into deer. Yeah, dude. You don't tell me what I'm into. Hey, this is true.

I don't know the rules, brother. There are no rules. Just right. There are no rules. Outback. Too much of a joke. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna me what I'm into. Hey, this is true. I don't have any rules, brother. There are no rules. Just write. There are no rules.

Outback. Uh, too much in the trailer. David, time for your fourth pick. Chris Hemsworth, Flasso Pain is off the board. Oh, man. That's a good pick, right, Isaac? Yeah, that was my pick. That was my pick. This happened a lot, I would say, mid-80s to mid-90s.

Unnecessary breakdancing. 80s to mid 90s unnecessary break dancing Yeah, yeah it always sucks it always sucks He's like, this is urban. It's like, what is going on? Yeah. Yeah, it always sucks. It always sucks. There's a little bit of that, there's like that whole, this is a cousin to like the rapping grandma. Yes. Yes. You know, where it's like, there was this like fascination with hip hop culture and they were like,

but the studios weren't willing to bring in anyone who knew about it. So they were like, we studios weren't willing to bring in anyone who knew about it So they were like we could just have one of the characters break dancing. I can do a stereotypical voice That's fine. If I do it. It's it's it's it's top that in that which movie. Yeah. Yeah Choke hold on girls of a certain generation top that oh My god. Oh my god in Teen Witch. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah and Zack apparently girls of a certain generation and Zack That goes without saying really the last yeah. Well, I mean Zack Zack likes both of those things I like topping that I like being

Sure like Yeah That's not the way it is. He sure liked it. Oh yeah. Unnecessary, but like really bad movies in that era. It would just be like, he'd be watching a movie and then all of a sudden he'd be like, and he ends it in a break dance. Why's that guy wearing a jumpsuit? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. That's hilarious. Harper, time for your fourth and then your final picks. Okay, fourth pick... A Netflix movie.

Ah, damn it! I was gonna take that too. Netflix exclusive. Like, they're just, they're not good. I'm trying to think of like the ones that have worked. But like, we're talking like Red Notice, Bright. But what about the bad ones? I was Spencer Confidential, Coffee and Cream. I don't know anything you're saying.

Exactly. Six Underground, like these are bad movies. And these are all like Netflix movies. Yeah, the ones that tend to be the best are the ones that they purchase at festivals That's where you get like those those but those are I'm talking about like the fucking Netflix exclusive like we made these they all look the same too. They all look the same. Yeah The only good one I could think about is set it up but with the owl and yeah, Zoe. Oh is set it up but with the owl and yeah Zoe oh I see which which I'm seeing that one I'll check that out but yeah like net Netflix movies are just damn

man I they're real rough Oh battle the Buster Scruggs that is fun was that a straight Netflix that's Cohen brothers straight to Netflix. Okay, all right. Dolomite is my name. That was good. That was good, yeah. Yeah, this one is all fine. Was the Five Bloods straight to Netflix? What's up? I think it was.

Five Bloods? That was just Netflix? I think so. Okay. All right, we're a couple. Maestro, but a lot of the Irishmen, when they give an amazing director. The Irishman was terrible.

Irishman was terrible. I like the Irishman. You don't like the Irishman. Oh my God. That was a senile old director trying to recreate what he used to have. I did not get through it. Yeah, I also did not finish it. It was awful.

Well, apparently you guys don't appreciate art as much as I do. Maybe. Art Fungle, my son Art. How do you feel about Paul Simon? I call him buddy, he calls me Al. Yeah. I love Paul Simon. Little guy like that?

Yeah. Now he looks like an egg. He looks like a little egg with thinning hair on top. Yeah, that's true. Harper, your last pick. You piece of shit. My last pick is gonna be if within the first five minutes, we've got a flashback. Oh. Oh.

What if it starts with a flashback? Why are we flashing back so quickly? Just start there. That's a good point when it's like two weeks ago. Yeah, two weeks ago. Six years ago, 50 years ago, back in 1926. Like, what are we doing? I don't mind when a movie does a jump, where it starts,

where like you'll see a scene in the middle of a movie at the beginning of a movie, and then we work our way to that scene. That's fine. I don't mind that. That's different. But this is like, someone's talking and then we're just gonna go all the. That's fine. Don't mind that, that's different. But this is like someone's talking and then we're just gonna go all the way back and here's the whole story. It is too early, it unmoors you.

You're like whoa, whoa, whoa. And then we'll get back to the present day, I'm like oh fuck, we were in a flashback this whole time. Like that's terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's terrible and then sometimes you have a flashback within that flashback. Yeah, the double flash.

Yeah, that's, yeah. No need. No need. Yeah, the double flash. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's a- No need, no need. That's a good pick. Yeah. That's a good pick. Ghost of Mars, I'm talking to you. Terrible. For five minutes, flashback and ghost of Mars,

okay, is it because you see what happens? The whole movie's a flashback. The whole movie's a flashback. David, your final pick. My final pick, oh man, a bad crew breakdown. Oh! Yeah. Like when they're like, this is Jake.

He was the numbers runner. Oh, yeah. Or whatever. When that sucks, the movie never recovers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can feel them thinking it was a good idea. They're like, we'll do it, it'll be like Oceans 11. You know?

You think they're making Oceans 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like when that shit sucks, sometimes they'll just do a terrible way to explain the relationships and you're like, oh, this is gonna be bad. This is gonna be good. Cause I love a getting the band back together moment.

Or love the crew together. Of course. Love the crew together. Of course. Absolutely. Rico was a Puerto Rican kid from the LES. And then you're like, okay, I'm in fuck Yeah, that's all you know then you know what then this is a lot of the Telling rather than showing which is just a big problem in general. Show me. Yeah Rico doing something You know, yeah, there are bad movies that have good breakdowns belly. Oh

Yeah, yeah That's that the crew breakdown is the best part of belly belly's a good movie. I need to watch belly Maybe we'll watch belly late in New Orleans On the flight back I'm watching belly before my girlfriend gets in She doesn't love my energy post belly I'm trying to get reception to call you and I had to walk into the room where Bella was playing. Yeah, you're like, let's go to Africa.

Which has happened drunk and dead. Are you looking at me with a fish on lens right now? I haven't seen Ballet. I still haven't seen it. You like it. What's in New Orleans? I think your final pick. Oh I have a couple but I'll go with when they use the internet meme like they like have like some

Viral internet meme person make a cameo. Oh, yeah, does this happen now? Oh, yeah The movie hustle. Oh, yeah, lethal shooter movie hustle. Oh, yeah lethal shooter professor like all these You're right That was lost on me because I liked hustle yeah, but first half it's great second half's garbage Because of the influencers, I gotta go back. Oh, but that used to be fun Like that's what why he got game was so fun because they had all the coaches in it. But coaches are different. Coaches are coaches.

Right. But like these are memes. These are grifters. Well, I guess they have like that kid, that little white kid who does the crazy layups. Anytime you see- I think he's in it. I think he's in it.

Yeah. Oh yeah. I blocked him. I blocked him on Instagram. So no one can send me his- Oh, I forgot that you hate lethal shoot. Yeah, so no one can send me his content anymore. You lethally shot him. Yeah. That blocked him. I blocked him on Instagram You lethally shot him yeah, that's healthy that's progress. He can't hurt me anymore

time for my final pick I've got a lot of ones here that I could go through I'll list them all after are you still looking at the jerseys? What's what do you? Jamal a lot of ones I could get. He's like Jamal Crawford on the Hawks. Jamal Crawford, Jamal Ashburn. Ummm. I'm gonna put the movie and there's the movie has

uhh it's the name of the movie and then a colon and then a word that starts with R and ends in I-O-N Redemption Resurrection and then a word that starts with R. Oh. And ends in I-O-N. Yes, redemption. Oh, resurrection. Retaliation. Yeah, yeah.

Resurrection. Resurrect, any one of those. Now, The Raid 2 Redemption is a good movie. That movie is awesome. That's the exception that proves the rule. But like, Jurassic Park Resurrect, I don't even know which, G.I. Joe Redemption, I don't even know which is which,

I just know that if that's happening, that's a piece of shit. That is not a good movie. Now let me say this. Or like, Belly 3 recognition. Yeah. Let me say this. I'm real excited for this new Jurassic World.

Are you? Dude, really? You still have faith? No, it's gonna be bad. But I'm here, like when they reboot it, the first Jurassic World, it's no it's gonna be bad, but I'm here like when they reboot it the first Jurassic world It's not terrible. No, it's not. I just want to see dinosaurs be dinosaurs in a modern world Yeah, second and third one are terror the third one. I walked out of I want to see it in Portland Well, while I was visiting I was a beautiful summer day. I was sitting there. I'm like, this is what I'm doing

Second one I was like I'm holding strong. I was like no, it's gonna be okay It's gonna hold like it they're gonna pull it off at the end of its I was so angry and then third one's just garbage But I like they'll reboot it scar Joe's gonna be whatever Yeah, I'm like I I have faith that of our great Asian actors But but then they're gonna make Jurassic World retaliation and it's gonna be, it's gonna be terrible, yeah. It's an R and an ION.

You're not gonna have a good time. That's such a good call, yeah. That is a great, yeah, that's a great pick. That's the final pick of the draft. To recap, Harper, you went first. You took Rob Schneider's in the trailer from the director of The Sixth Sense, Fat Travolta, it's on Netflix, or Netflix original,

and there's a flashback in the first five minutes. David, you went second, you took, they say the title of the movie a little too early in the movie. When the song from the movie has more star power than the movie itself, a non-actor doing too much in the trailer, unnecessary break dancing, and when there's a bad crew breakdown in the movie.

Isaac, you went third, you took one of the hot, oh, Sean's here, joining us in the very last second. Whoa. Maybe Sean could tell us who he thinks, because if we start talking about throwback journeys with Sean on, you know, I'll just keep going. Isaac, hot person Is it hot person? Obviously hot person in the movie is presented

as not being hot. A franchise actor's first movie after that franchise, Kevin Hart, when they show too much of the movie in the trailer and when they do like an internet meme in the movie. I went last and I took when the rock is working a little bit too hard to tell us why this movie is so special

When an animated movie is too reliant on vocal talent when a movie is from the producers of rather front than the star over the Director of the Priyanka Joe Chopra Jonas effect and the R-ion Effect Sean Jordan did anyone pick sex in the trailer? Sean Jordan. Did anyone pick sex in the trailer? No! That's a good one. That might be the best intro you've ever had in this podcast. I'm happy I made it. I thought of that like an hour ago. I'm like son of a gun.

Yeah, if they're showing sex in the trailer, you're going to other? There was a long time though I was first in line at that movie. Hey, it's Soul. Yeah, that's an opening day kind of kind of thing. Yeah Call that a gimme Sean we spent I'm gonna say a quarter of this episode talking about Mitchell and that throwback He's good. He's more than that. Okay here. Okay you be I just want to tell before you go on We're gonna do about six minutes of Mitchell and s talk here if you if that's it for you

You're not there's nothing you're gonna miss other than the Patreon, the Chaclackity, all that stuff. So thank you for listening. Now we're just gonna talk about Mitchell and Ness Jersey for six minutes. What do I do? So I want that Hoyas Jersey bad. That Ewing Hoyas Jersey. Which one? Al Iverson? Oh, the Ewing? It's got sleeves. It's not like a basketball. I will wear it for real. I'll wear it in the world. It's got like a shooting shirt? Yes. Oh! That's right. Sorry I's not a good basket. I will wear it for real Yes, oh That's right. Sorry. I didn't respond to that. No, it's okay to I mean 200 bucks though. It's tough to

Sell that today's just come out with the mellow Mitchell in that the mellow Syracuse. I Think they must have I am also really digging these baseball jerseys. Like that Mariners jersey, I'm really, really, really digging those. The thing about baseball is you're getting into like authentic country, right? Yeah. Well they have both, because they have some of their mesh ones that you can get.

I don't need authentic. I don't need like, I want it to be thin, kind of. And the authentic ones aren't thin. Yeah, those are thick. They're heavy. The Swingman is what you want. Yeah, we don't want to wear thin, kind of. And the authentic ones aren't thin. Yeah, those are thick. They're heavy. The Swingman is what you want. Yeah, we don't want to wear that in New Orleans. No.

No, no, but so. I also don't want to wear a white one in New Jersey as I will be covered in various brown sauce. In New Jersey? What are you? It is a brown sauce heavy city. Yeah. Okay.

You're gonna get Jumalaya on your KG. I'm getting something for New Orleans. I don't know if it's, it could be that Muggsy Bogues jersey. I'm not seeing this Patrick Ewing on the Georgetown. Muggsy, the Muggsys. That's a good show. We were talking about Muggsy earlier. I think Muggsy would be sick.

I think like, I feel like baseball jersey. I would go baseball jersey over shooting. They're so expensive. It's gonna be hot. They're $300 those baseball jerseys. But not all of them. Find me, okay. Okay. A Mariners one or a TC one for under 150?

I just found you a Montreal Expos Pedro Martinez batting practice jersey for 110. Where, let's link it dudes There's the pages story Akavich Page on the king's deck. Oh, okay. Okay. Hold on a second Randy Johnson And that's only small though, baby, I'm Small I'm probably talking to excel you think, or large? I don't know.

I got a, cause I don't know if you need that big. I got a three and I'm way bigger than you in my three-figs. I don't mind a little big, I mind a little small. Mitchell runs big. Okay, well. That Randy Johnson jersey is beautiful. Oh, there's a Randy Johnson jersey. It's purple.

It's a Diamondbacks Randy Johnson jersey. Oh, there's a Randy Johnson. It's purple. It's a Diamondbacks, Randy Johnson Jersey. Oh my God. Dude, that King's Jersey's sick though too. Yeah, something. I will have something. Let's commit to you right now. Let's do it.

Let's get you a Jersey right now. I want a baseball. Like that one you just sent you, that X-Pose one. That, if it's in a large larger in XL, something on those veins. Like if there's a Mariners, if there's a twins, there could be what else would you want the mesh one? I would. Yeah.

I want something thin, something really, I want to wear like 120. Yeah, that's fine. I want to wear it for summer. Like I want something that I'll be out in. I can go to the lake and I can go to the river and go skate in, you know, because I won't wear that heavy. I won't wear that heavy shit till I wear it in New Orleans and I'll sweat to the lake in, I can go to the river, I can go skate in, you know. Because I won't wear that heavy, I won't wear that heavy shit till I wear it in New Orleans and I'll sweat

like I was in Pittsburgh. You remember the Pittsburgh fiasco when I just couldn't, when I couldn't stop the porn fiasco. Yeah, I mean everyone remembers. You got stuck, you got stuck in a sweat cycle. No, that was crazy, I forgot about that. Pouring, and then that dude wrote

Red Leather Pussy Destroyer in Korean. He sure did. Holy cow, that was great. But yeah, I don't need that in New Orleans. So if I get a mesh situation. Oh, did I tell you guys I got recognized walking into the hotel here from an AFV fan? No.

Wow. Never happens. Like as soon as I was walking in, he's like, are you David Bowie? And I was like, what the fuck? Is he coming to the show now? No, he's in town for a metal festival. But he took a picture and sent it to his wife.

That tracks, but what a coincidence. I got recognized at Amoeba Records yesterday. Shout out to Anders, dude. Anders. You know, I didn't even put this together in New Orleans. Is it Anders Perlins? Am I blowing your name, dude? Is it Anders?

I just said it, I'm being an asshole. I've just said it like that. I say Anders. They say Anders in Workah name, dude? Is it Anders? I just said it, I'm being an asshole. I've just said it like that. I say Anders. They say Anders in Workaholics, right? I think his name was Anders. I could be blowing it, or something like that. He's from, Andreas, Andreas! Andreas.

Andreas. What Harper, you made a sound. Andreas, if you've made it this far in the podcast, God bless you. I think I gotta get this, right? I just put this together, New Orleans is quite the jazz city. Oh Are you going are you going?

Yeah, I didn't even well for the records you do the records Okay Harper just dropped a fucking JR Rider, Minnesota Timberwolves Jersey, but it's one size low Probably mess with the large and yeah. Yeah. And you should. I can't stress. I do not want this to be even a little small. I can handle a little big. When I go to the size chart for a torso, I don't know what I'm looking at. I don't know what you go to the size chart for a torso. I'm on it right now. I don't know what it means.

So my chest inches, 39 to 42. I got my T-shirt size. That's your chest under your arms. I got my T-shirt size and I feel okay. So I can just go measure that. Like for real, I could just go do that. Yeah. Yeah. We have one of those Taylor. What size shirt do you wear? I, okay. I wear large. It could be an XL and it'd be just fine.

Then take an XL. Cause you also don't want it to be too long is what can happen with jerseys really easy. I don't want that. You-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because you also don't want it to be too long, is what can happen with jerseys really easy. I don't want that, you're right. But I do, I want a baseball, fucking jersey. I want one of those mesh baseball jerseys. I was looking at the- Pick one right now, Sean. Like the bat, like there's a Padres, like mesh,

what would you call it, a batting jersey? It's got sleeves? Is it like a practice batting jersey? Batting practice jersey, yeah. I love that one. It says SD. I was looking for SD and SF, because you know, South Dakota Super Bowl. So I found an orange Padres.

I thought it was suck dick and suck face. I came here for two reasons. I'm all out of city. Suck dick and suck face. I'm all out of city. I'm all out of city. Get your dick over here, I'm all out of face. I'm all out of face. I'm so lost without you. Oh, this is Stacy Augmenters. The plastic man? Yeah.

Plastic man. Yeah, man. Hold on. This might be what I'm going with. Guys, I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit. I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit. I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit. I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit.

I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit. I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit. The plastic man? Yeah. The plastic man! Yeah man, hold on, this might be what I'm going with. Guys, I was trying to explain the red leather pussy destroyer bit to a friend who was... To a girl at the bar like... It was so difficult. I was like, you know what they call me. And you know, and I drive a car and then, and then, but like... Yeah, it was really difficult to describe. There's this podcast?

It helps to explain that Blair that one who gave you the moniker Hey, we're very very ethnically diverse that the various As it is, there's five on here. There are five. You know. Hey, we're very, very ethnically diverse at the very least. Yeah, yeah. We're missing a couple of the... We got a couple markets. We could be doing better on the Latin American front.

Do you think I as a white could wear an Abdur Rahim jersey? Yeah. I think that what you open is is do you think I as a white Am from Sacramento does that change Yeah, that's just East Sacramento. Speaking strictly as a central Californian here, can I pull off a Sharif Abdul Rahim jersey? Which Sharif, which team? Vancouver Grizzlies, that teal one.

Yes. I believe there's a Grizzlies open border policy. It cuts it, right? Yeah, I would never. It's the most easily canteen of jerseys. You can just, anything could be in there. No, god damn it! What, did you just drop something in the chat, or what'd you find? It's the most Isley Cantina of jerseys. You can just, anything could be in there. No! God damn it!

What, did you just drop something in the chat, or what'd you find? No, it was, they don't have it in my size. The goddamn Jalen Rose Navy Nuggets. Oh! Oh! Oh! Woo!

You know what would be tight? That hurts to miss out on that. Yeah, that's tough, man. I used to have a Lofonzo Ellis jersey. That would be fun to get, although I don't think Lofonzo Ellis made it here. You know what I want is, I want that Drazen Petrovich one, but I don't think I want to wear a white jersey in New Orleans. It's scary, the idea of wearing a white jersey. And I don't think the blue would look good on me.

Oh, hello, Rafer Alston on the bucks. Hello. Sick. Come on. Okay. Give to my room. Give to my room. Hello.

Any fucking size. I don't care what it is. Extra small. It's white too though, damn it. That one I think you can get dirty though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like the kids, just get a little dirty. Dogs, they got a big country jersey. Oh, only in small. What sort of cruel twist of fate is that? They shouldn't even make that in small. That's the hardest part about the Mitchell and Ness game because you know who put me on the website years ago was Jamel.

Yeah, of course. Jamel was like, hey, they got some crazy 3x 4x situations over there But it's like that's the fun of it is like can I get it in my it feels like actually shopping? What if I get a big country Bryant Reeves jersey for my son and just wait till he can wear it? It's a keepsake men's Wait until he grows into it. All right, we gotta wrap this up

because we have another podcast to do. We wanna hear your picks. It's up on YouTube. It's on on YouTube. It's on on YouTube. It's really on.com. We did do six minutes of Jersey talk. We did.

Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon, the AFE Shoslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel, shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats, shout out to Sharif Abdul Rahim,

shout out to Vince Carter, shout out to the Tom Brady baseball jersey, and more important than all of that, tune in to get next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shacklackity! That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hi, I'm Jessi Klein. And I'm Liz Feldman, and we're the hosts of a new Headgum podcast called Here to Make

Friends. Liz and I met in the writer's room on a little hit TV show called Dead to Me, which is a show about murder. But more importantly, it's also about two women becoming very good friends in their 40s. Which can really happen, and it has happened to us. It's true. Because life has imitated ours.

And then it imitated life. Time is a flat circle. And now. We're making a podcast that's about making friends. And we're inviting an incredible guest like Vanessa Barron. Wow, I have so much to say. Lisa Kudrow. Feelings, they're a nuisance.

Nick Kroll. I just wanted to say hi. Matt Rogers. I'm like on the verge of tears. So good. So good to join us and hopefully become our friends in real life. Take it out of the podcast studio and into real life.

Along the way, we are also going to talk about dating. Yep. Spousing. True. Parenting. Career-ing. And why we love film. And Louisa is the greatest movie of all time.

Shouldn't need to be said. No, we said it. It's just a true thing. So please subscribe to Here to Make Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Friday.