All Fantasy Everything - Sodas (w/ Katie Nolan, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

Pretty sure we haven't done this one before. I think.Episode Guest:Katie Nolan @KatieNolan (@NatieKolan)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we are drafting sodas, soda pops, pops, whatever you call it, we're drafting it. Our guest today, rounding out the month of November, is our good friend. The wonderful wit, the wonderful friend, the person who thought she was like, maybe I'll put my hair, maybe I'll do my hair for the podcast today.

Just put it up in a bun, and you know what? It looks like a million bucks anyway. It looks like a million bucks anyway. It looks like a million bucks anyway. Kenny Nolan, I'm your host, Ian Carmel. And with me as always are my good friends, David Borey and Sean Jordan. Let's get into it. hey uh hey i i i you know if if if you were looking for a podcast we have one for you right now so stick around if that's what you're into if not not, that's fine. This is a slimmer amount of pickings than I expected with sodas. Is it?

It is. Slimmer than I expected. I thought it was going to be like 60 off top. I thought we were going off top. I did make a list. I started going off top and I was like. Are you saying you were going Jehovah? Yeah.

You didn't. Nobody wanted that though. I wanted. I'm doing it. Yeah. I'm doing it too. I made a list. Should I not look at my list? Wait, I still made it though. I want it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it too. I made a list. Should I not look at my list?

Don't look at your list. Should I make a list right now while we banter like I always do? No, no, no, no, no. Don't make a list. It'll help me out tremendously. I have some weird ones though. Yeah, there's a lot of sodas. I feel good about it.

Katie, I feel like I commented on your appearance in the intro and now I feel bad about it. No, that's okay. What on your appearance in the intro. Now I feel bad about it because of the hair thing. Which was an aforementioned. What do you feel bad? Do you want to talk through it? What feels bad about it? I just feel like I should, even though it was a pre-recording banter that we had where you were talking about doing your hair, I still feel like

I commented upon it. I don't remember that. It feels like you just brought it up out of nowhere. Yeah, I also just feel like you gotta tell me. You're that kind of guy, right? We'll just tell everybody that we were bantering about it before. We were bantering about it before. Ian didn't just say that. He didn't just say that my hair's up, which it is. I don't want people to think like that

I'm that kind of guy. Right, and they definitely did for at least the last 45 seconds. For the last 300 something episodes, I think. Yeah, but now they know, because we've cleared it up explicitly, that he's not that kind of guy. I'm not that kind of guy. We were just joking.

We were joking. It was like a fun... We were having a laugh. We were razzing each other. And I am... Now that it's on the table, I think it's fair to call me one of the great feminists. Certainly one of, yes.

One of, yeah. I think probably like, you know, I'm up there. One of the great male, white, over 30. God-fearing. Not Protestant. Opposite of Protestant. Are you Protestant? I am a Protestant.

I do. I also, if we're coming clean about stuff, I do need to admit that I am. I had this whole time. I have been a Protestant. Wow. Not bar mitzvahed or anything. No, Lutheran. Whatever it is they do. The 95 theses. Yeah, come on, taped him. No, you didn't tape

him. He taped him. Scotch tape. He taped him up to the door. Double-sided stick tape. Here's some problems I have. A lot of people don't know that Martin Luther... He had 95 problems in the church. was every one of them he tried to use that sticky tack first you know that you use to put posters up

and it never worked yeah this will stay but then like the middle sheet fell down and people were like where are numbers 17 through wouldn't it be funny if we all didn't know that like they showed up that morning and the 95 theses was on the ground and they just like

like he tried to put it up but it didn't work and they were like when you write about this write that I hung them because they were hung up. I know you guys ended up passing them around but they were hung up. Also catechism. What's that all about? I went to catechism dude. It was the first time.

The Lutherans have one too though right? The Catholics had it. Religion class CCD. Oh I went to catechism dude It was the first time The Lutherans have one too though right The Catholics had it Religion class CCD Wednesday nights This girl was chewing gum and she's like Who wants to chew my gum And we're like oh So I got to chew her gum We kissed

Okay you explain that weird That was a move We're talking about CCD. I feel like you're talking about ABC. That's already been chewed. Oh, come on. Remember that? Yep.

That was perfect. That phrase got fucking turned right there. That was... You had a perfect joke yesterday, too. I think this happens a lot. I googled great feminists so I could continue that joke from earlier. And I just have to read to you

who Google throws up there. John Lovitz. Piers Morgan. Piers Morgan. It's John Lovitz. It's some of your, it's like a Gloria Steinem, Mary Wollstonecraft,

Bell Hooks, Angela Davis, you know. Betty Friedan. And then Madonna. Okay. Justify my love. Yeah. She's my bell hooks.

I'm just kidding. We Real Cool changed my whole life. Don't do that. It's just funny that she's one of the... Like Simone de Beauvoir. Simone de Beauvoir. De Beauvoir. Audre Lorde.

De Beauvoir. Hearing you try to say de Beauvoir. De Beauvoir. Audre Lorde. De Beauvoir. I hear you trying to say De Beauvoir. Simone De Beauvoir. Dana would kill me if she knew I was saying that name wrong. Simone De Beauvoir.

Simone Biv De Beauvoir. Simone De Beauvoir. That's how it's pronounced. Simone De Beaver. And then Madonna. Yeah. You know, she had that She did a lot. I imagine for the feminist movement. Didn't she make a book had that... She did a lot, I imagine, for the feminist movement.

Didn't she make a book about sex? She made a truth or dare movie. And they were like, you can't do this. And she said, watch me. She wrote that book, Feminist Theory. Oh, wait, that was also Bell Hook. Oh, shoot. She wrote Fear of Flying.

She was part of the Suffragette movement. But the White Album, that was her. She did the White Album, Double L. She did the Black Album, too. Immaculate Collection. My stepdad had that sex book on the coffee table. And I remember before they got married, I was like, you're not ready to be a dad yet.

That can't just be sitting on the coffee table. No, no, it can't. It was gnarly. I was looking at that when I was nine. Didn't she stoop Jesus in that video or no? No, it was Black Jesus though. It was Leon. Okay, but did she stoop Black Jesus?

I gotta be honest. I watched the video and it makes me feel like she's a charlatan. But I don't want to get into that. Let's do what we're doing. I don't like it. I'll talk about it later. Forget soda. It's't like it. I don't like it. I'll talk about it later. I remember when that- Forget soda. It's time for tea. Right?

Yeah. Sometimes I think a lot of times you just can like throw a bunch of stuff in a pot and everybody's like, oh, it's subversive. Subversive. Yeah. It's like how everybody talks about like Eminem killed Jay-Z on Renegade. But if you listen, it's just Eminem just said a bunch of religions and Jay-Z still had bars, but everybody's like, take a bath

with the Catholics. Eminem, you're crazy. Renegade? Yeah, that shit gets on my fucking nerves. He's never been afraid to say what's on his mind at any given time of day. But no bars. No bars. No bars. So much

so much like fucking bars on Jay's verses. But yeah, no. Go to war with the Mormons. That's crazy. Especially for you. Because you're the guy. For you, you're like, this is the same guy who said windowpane. And now I got to listen to him get washed by Jay-Z on this track?

That's how I felt about Renegade. Yeah. I don't feel like he was washing. I just don't feel like he was that amazing. Eminem is a little bit of like a Thomas Kinkade painter. And I say this liking a lot of Eminem songs where it's like, that is, the technique there is very impressive. But you just painted another farm in the woods?

Like, you know what I mean? It's not like. Yeah, like when I was 12, it was like, oh, it's funny that you swallowed her whole leg whole like a fucking egg roll. He ripped up Mariah Carey pretty hard. That was a gnarly one. Well. He's certainly not listed

under the great feminists of all time. I didn't find out about that until two years ago or something, so that's probably why it's all fresh in my head. And Mariah didn't have bars to come back, but boy, that was gnarly. Marshall Mathers feminist? I was sitting probably eight feet from where David is right now being like, no.

There is a Medium article. Could Eminem be a feminist? No, that's one of those thought-making pieces where they're like, we got nothing today. Can somebody take a thing that's obviously not true, put a question mark at the end of it, and write a whole article deciding whether or not it might be the case. I bet the conclusion is no. No. It's a one word. It's a one word essay. No.

Technical skill is incredible though. I do get what you're saying. Technically amazing. Doubles and triples inside of it. It's like very good. I need jewels, man. I need jewels. You're not learning a lot from Eminem he's not a poet

he's no Sean Jordan nah man no he's not I'm out here do you have dedicated to memory gear crisis can you drop us a couple bars from it right now I might be the only rapper that doesn't know his own rap song Isaac

I don't know I went and saw Cunning Linguist live and they didn't whoa you saw Cunning Linguist live and they didn't. Whoa, you saw Cunning Linguist live? Yeah. Did they do Thugged Out since Cub Scouts? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yes, they did.

Thugged Out. Like, and I was a big, you know, in my backpack rap phase, I was a big Cunning Linguist fan. I was like so stoked to go see this concert. Yeah, we all gave him a shot. Halfway through their classic album, they were just like,

we don't really remember the words to this. And I was like, oh man. It's a lot of words. It's a lot of words. They were Cunning Linguists. And much to their own detriment. They still rule. But, you know.

Lost the grip on the band. Though I think they're never great. Or though I hear they're never great the band I was on a Tinder date and though I hear they're never great I figured I would roll the dice and try to tempt the fates her style was amazing which I noticed out the gate and when it came to compliments we didn't hesitate I forget the next one too

I said I liked her hair she said she liked my flare i'm glad i don my evening wear uh on one on god damn one out of ten i'd give the night and on a scale of ten i'd give the night and eight she oh she wanted to do this again i thought that sounded great on a scale of one to ten i give the night at eight that is until i saw nike on her feet and adidas on her legs and I barfed on my dinner plate. Nike and Adidas. Nike. Renegade!

It's a funny ass song, man. Was she wearing sweatpants? I don't know. She wasn't real, but yeah, maybe. She had Adidas jeans on. She did. She was wearing Adidas jeans. She's the only one with Adidas jeans We're gathered here not only to listen to Sean Jordan

Drop bars Absolute bars You are working it in successfully to every episode right now But primarily the fantasy draft Soda pop Soda pop What did you guys grow up calling it? I was a soda person Pop

Even though they call it pop in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, I was pop too because of the PNW. Soda. Dan Soda. I actually grew up calling it Dan Soda. Dan Soda. Strange where my life ended up. Soda.

My mom still gets mad at me. If I go home and say soda, she thinks I'm like being arrogant. Like I'm being coasty. I was at spring training. Is that a term? I don't know. It should be. I was at spring training in Florida. a term? I don't know. It should be. I was at spring training in Florida. I remember.

I went with my dad. And I was ordering a pop from a concession stand. And the older teen working there was like, a pop? It's called soda. And that was it for me. I called it soda forever after that. Oh, he got you. All it takes is one teen.

One cool teen. Oh, yeah. Everybody hears the, if you're in Texas, they call them all Cokes. I hate that. That doesn't make any sense. That's Atlanta, right? Like Atlanta, Georgia.

Is that true, though? I've never experienced that. Yes, if you ask for a Coke, they say, what do you want, a Sprite? There's Coke space in Atlanta, but I don't mind it. I don't give a shit.

Yeah, I want to hear it. I've never heard it happen. I nitpick so much other shit. Call it a Coke. But that's not nitpicking. That's very confusing. If you say, can I get a Coke? And they say, what kind?

And you're like, a Coca-Cola? What do you say? You just order a Coke Coke? You order a Coke Coke? Yeah. Maybe. Let's try it. I think you could just order like a Sprite, right?

Right. I think that's how. Yeah. Probably. Is the section of the menu called like Cokes? Is what I'm saying. What kind of Cokes do you guys have? It can't be. That'd be awesome if it just said Cokes.

Can I get a milk Coke? That's a thing. If they asked you what kind of Coke you wanted, you asked a Coke and they were like, we don't have Coke. So what kind of Coke do you want? Yeah, that's wild. I don't like it. Sean Jordan is here. David Bore't like it. Sean Jordan is here.

David Borey is here. Katie Nolan is here. I, Ian Carmel, am here. And we are going to draft sodas, pops, whatever you call it. You almost said Ion. You were close to saying Ion. Come on. Fuck you.

You got close, man. Fuck you. I was about to say Ion. I was not about to say Ion. Some people say Ion. Ion Eagle. Dude, you were blacked out one time and you told me you wish your name was Ion. You don't remember it, but it happened. I'd remember that.

I would absolutely remember that. If I did that, I would... I'd be an Alcoholics Anonymous sitting there telling them I'm ready. I'm ready for the next chapter of my life. Ion. Grow up. Ion robot.

Ion robot. Ion's earring? Ion eagle. Ion legend. Both? Iron. Grow up. Iron robot. Iron robot. Iron, uh, is, Iron Ziering? Iron Eagle. Both, I'm sure, lovely names. Lovely people. Very stupid way to say your name. I'll die on that hill. I will, Ion. Don't die, man. There you go.

The way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, played between the three of you. This is big. Very important. This is very big today. I'll tell you this. You know what?

For the first time ever, if you tie on this first one, I get to decide the order. What? Yeah. Curveball. Curveball. Okay. If you all tie. You've never decided the order, I don't think.

I don't think I have. Because I don't think I've won rock, paper, scissors when I played. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. I like this new thing we're doing. That was wild. So what happens? I get to pick the order because you tied.

You all threw a different one. That's insane. That's insane. That's never happened. Oh, my God. This level of power. Damn. What am I going to do with it? Isaac, what should I do, man?

You should create chaos, in my opinion. Yeah. Yeah. What is chaos? Everybody makes like somebody picks all five and then someone else

picks all five. Whoa. The order is Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean. That'd be nuts. Now write this down. It's Sean, Sean, Katie, Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean. That'd be nuts. Now write this down. It's Sean, Sean, Katie, Sean, Ian, David, David. David, Katie, Ian, Ian. Sean, Sean, Katie, Sean, Ian, Katie, David.

All right. I'm going to go. The order today, I'm going to go as we are rounding out the month of November. And we've had so many fun drafts, so many laughs so many fun memories created this month I am going to let our esteemed guest Katie Nolan go first Oh my goodness, thank you Ian

Katie's out of the draft entirely Yes Start it And we're not putting any episodes out this month Oh man All that work for nothing Katie is going first and then it's going to go And we're not putting any episodes out this month. Oh, man. Oh, no. All that work for nothing. Katie is going first.

And then it's going to go David Borey second. Sean Joe in third. And I got to be true to myself. I'm giving myself a hot corner. I'm going last. Hot corner. Because I got some weird soda tastes. You know?

I don't know if I need the big hitters. I don't know if I need the big hitters I got some big hitters I got some small hitters I got some banjo hitters what's a banjo hitter I don't know I heard Brainerd Max say it once I don't think I have any banjo hitters yeah I got some real vanilla

I got some banjo kazooies on my list but that's as close as I get was that the bear and that bird? Yeah, it was like a bear and a bird. One of those platforms. It was like a Ratchet and Clank kind of like-esque. People swear by those games, but that was like a period where I was like, we got Mario, we got Sonic.

I don't need anybody else involved in the conversation. Maybe Earthworm Jim. I was a Crash Bandicoot guy. People love Crash Bandicoot. Shout out Crash Bandicoot. Mario Kart Street Fighter 2. I had a Crash Bandicoot guy. People love Crash Bandicoot. Mario Kart Street Fighter 2. I had a lot of fun with that. And he was a Bandicoot? Was he sassy? Yeah, he had sass. Yeah, he was wearing jean

shorts. Yeah. He was wearing jean shorts. Adidas jean shorts. Crash Bandicoot definitely listened to Stained. Yeah, and then he would like, oh, for sure. And he would ride, like, a big surfboard with a motor on it sometimes. He was fun.

He was drinking balls when that was, like, the only energy drink out. You remember that? Do you remember Sparks when you first started drinking? Oh, yes. Oh, God. Sparks looks like a battery, dude. It tastes like one, too. Yeah, that was the point.

I mean, Sparks is better than Four Loko. If you want to get into alcohol soda, that's all those are. Sparks, man. A Sparks and a 40? We used to drink half the 40, pour the Sparks in there, make a little Brass Monkey. That was dang. Brass Monkeys used to gross me out.

They always got warm. Sam used to always do it when we were kids. You gotta drink them quicker. I was always like, I'm trying to drink beers. I don't want orange juice. They were viscous. Viscous. I haven't had a 40 for a minute.

I wonder how it was. I think it could put me on my ass at this point. It's bad, bro. It tastes so bad. It's so sweet. It's hard to go. It's all, I mean, years. 10 years probably. That was it.

No, that's not true. Oh, I thought you said since you've drank a 40. I was like, I've drank a 40. No, no, no, no. For about 10 years, that's like all we would even entertain. Until it got too much to where our friends were like, our older friends were like, we're not getting you. We're not getting 940s.

You're past the age where this is allowed. Yeah, it also smells like, you smell like malt liquor, which is a pretty serious smell. It's a rough smell. It is. Yeah. Anyway.

Sean, I need to ask you, how do you feel going into this draft? I kind of think this is your, you know, like you have participated in a books draft, a vegetables draft.

You were a good sport. You fucking hung in there. I did a YA draft you were a good sport you fucking did a ya a ya draft a ya book draft you like and you're like you know what i'm coming you were you weren't like you weren't like let me sit this one out you said no i'm showing up to the table because it's fun man it's all fun and then today we enter your oeuvre yeah well, well, with hot sauces, too, I feel like my oeuvre was entered a few times. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a little more... I'm sexually liberated these days.

That's how you got the first one? That's how I got the first one. There we go. Wait, put it on my tombstone. Yeah, there we go. Are you feeling pressure? Or are you feeling serene? You were saying you were saying

you you were gonna go off off the dome for this one i tried make a list i tried to take an on location field trip for this one i asked if i could go to the store earlier and we just couldn't swing it max i asked if i could go oh can i have some candy for some pop some money for some pop she let me do it at the at do it for the hot sauce draft. I was like, I want to go do some scouting on location. I just want to see what's in the streets. Is that the term you used? Scouting on location.

Well, you knew we were going to do this when you were taking pictures of cereal yesterday. So you didn't... Yeah, you were at the store. You were at the store. I did know. Oh, I was too preoccupied with cereal. You know what I got?

I got multigrain Cheerios like a sucker too Remember Olympic Cheerios? No, I think it's cool that you got interracial Cheerios Oh, they started calling him that No, I feel great, man I feel great in my oeuvre Katie, do you drink soda? All the time, so much

Because we don't, we're not In the house, definitely we don't we're not um we don't in the house definitely we don't have alcohol because dan doesn't drink yeah and it's just sort of become my like all right in a situation where other people are drinking i'll i'll let myself be bad and have a couple sodies yeah uh so yeah i am still soda to the point where like i know other people are like we're not still doing this are Are we like, yeah, we are. I used to do diet. I've stopped. Cause I actually feel worse about diet soda than I do about regular now. Cause I'm like, at least I know what sugar is. I don't know what that other stuff is. And also like, I'm not having 60 of these anymore. I can have,

I can have a soda and deal with the consequences. Yeah. David, David, what's your relationship with soda right now? Every now and again. I don't like sweets that much. Yeah, that's true. So it's never really been a big like, oh, yeah. What's your go-to drink with dinner? Well, I drink water. I just drink a shitload of water all the time.

That's really good. I guess. I like a bubbly water. I've gotten in. I'm in. I'm in my bubbly waters. Which one you got? Polar cranberry

lime right now. That's a good one. I tried the Spindrift and I got some bubbly. You guys told me Spindrift. You're a polar guy. You give me polar vibes. Okay. Spindrift has juice in it. So I'm not like, if I'm like, give me that zero calorie business.

I'm just realizing I said I drink a lot of water and then I'm looking at my table where I've been working and it's like, bing. Bomb. Wow. There's probably six other ones around the house. That's what my apartment looks like too because every time Dan comes back from a comedy club,

he just puts down the bottle of water they gave him and so they're all over our house. Oh man, I'm better about it. I used to like, if it was Fiji's in the green room, they're going. our house oh man i'm better about it i used to like if it was fiji's in the green room they're going you're going i still i take red bulls every time i go to helium i take red bulls just to take them i take like two or three and just yeah i just have them uh i don't really drink soda myself i don't i it's been i think it's been like a decade since i've had just a soda. What?

It was the thing where I was like, this is something I can do for my health. Back when I wasn't doing anything else for my health. And it just kind of stuck with me. But maybe after this draft, I'll have myself a damn soda. I got heavy. In the last like probably six months, I've been heavy in the soda game. And last, since October 1st, I caught him out just trying to drop some pounds for this recording. But I've been going crazy. I was like,

for this podcast. I was like, what? For this podcast. Yeah. Why do you need to? I want to look good for you. When I go skate though, I'll stop at this gas station

in the Tron. I'll get a gas station hot dog and a Mountain Dew after I skate. It's like, what are you doing? Just shitting all over everything you just did.

But it's like my reward for making myself go skate for a couple hours. Sounds weird. No, it doesn't. Yeah, that's what it turned into, though. And I don't eat breakfast, so I'm like, a hot dog's breakfast.

So we have two people deep in the soda game, two people not so deep in the soda game. And we're going to get to this draft where Katie Nolan has the first pick right after the short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick.

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B-B-E-L dot com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply and we're back I have to open with an apology over your skis to use your term even before I picked the order

I was so excited to pick the order that we never explained how the all fantasy everything fantasy draft works it was a grievous oversight on my part and one that i hope to never repeat there's a certain way that things are done here on all fantasy everything and i did not live up to that standard basically what happened was my my my brain you know like my that my synapses were firing from the right side of my brain where they were like trying to figure out what order I was going to put things in.

And they went from the right side of my brain all the way over to the left side of my brain where I was trying to figure out creatively what would be a fun order to put this draft in. And then I went back over to the right side of my brain to be like, okay, no, let's be a little more logical about what this order is. Do you have strong opinions about the soda?

And then they were like shot back over to the left side of my brain where I was like, wait, no, no, no, no, let's be a little more logical about what this order is. Do you have strong opinions about the soda? And then they were like, shot back over to the left side of my brain where I was like, wait, no, no, no, no, no. This is an entertainment product. So what's the most fun, most creative order we can do this in? And then they shot back over to the right side of my brain. You see? Where I was like, no, it's Katie.

It's her last episode of November. Let's put her first. So that was my thought process going through all this. So basically what I'm getting out of that is that if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round? That's exactly right. Shit. Okay. Yeah, I get it. But the term

for that is a serpentine draft. It's a serpentine draft. It's a serpentine draft. You eat some surf and then the turf and then the turf a little bit and then more surf. It's a serpentine draft. That's a great question.

I had a good one for today. It's like running with Bo Jackson on Tecmo Bowl. That's why it was going to be my thing. That is good. That doesn't even need explaining. That's just what you did. All I remember is Bo Jackson. Was Walter Payton on there?

Was it past Walter Payton time? Barry Sanders. Techmo Bo was early for me. I think it was Barry Sanders. I think it was before Emmett Smith. Bo was definitely the one where it's like... I think Herschel Walker was pretty good. Don't tell us because we're all like 29.

Goddamn Herschel Walker. He could get it to him he could he could take it there but uh anyway yeah not in real life all troy can do is get it there this is the best fucking one of the best king of the hill don't blame troy all trucking is good i have an okay hank hill oh my God. The blind man is the funniest, funniest show. Anyway, I'll tell you what's going to be even funnier is the banter following Katie's

first pick and the soda, all fantasy, everything draft. Okay. With the first pick and it is an honor. And because I'm not going to pick again for seven or eight or whatever it is, I have to just go for it and actually feel really good about it. I'm taking Dr. Pepper.

Wow. I think that's first round talent for sure. Dr. Pepper is the best soda. It's got 23 whole flavors. Yep. It was invented by a... Oh, no. It's proprietary.

So does Dr. Thunder have like 22? Yeah, Dr. Thunder didn't even graduate. I've never even heard of Dr. Thunder. Dr. Thunder got a... No. Oh. Oh, it's like the... Mr. Pibb.

It's like the Hy-Vee, Ralph's version. Dr. Thunder is like the lower, the cheaper... That sounds like a porn star name. Dr. Thunder bought his degree on the internet. Dr. Thunder is not from a reputable institution. I think I heard this was made, like the guy was trying to capture what a soda fountain tastes like.

And so it's just basically a mix of all sodas. It's like, it's a moment. It's a vibe. Dr. Pepper's a moment? This soda is a vibe. It's a movie. Dr. Pepper was a movie. It's my favorite.

I'll drink it every day. Dr. Pepper is so aesthetic. Exactly. Pharmacist in Waco invented it. Waco. In the 1880s, Dr. Pepper was invented. My God. It's the best soda. Well, Forrest Gump had about 15 of them

that one time at the White House. That says it all right there. What I don't understand is when they come out with like, didn't they just do like a heavy push on a strawberries and cream Dr. Pepper or something like that? Hold on now. Yeah, yeah. We can get different flavors of different sodas. Oh, okay. Well, let me just say, I don't think anyone's going to pick this because I tasted it because Dan bought it and it was horrendous. I just don't understand when you have 23 flavors,

what those other, so are those 24 and 25 or did you knock some of them off and heavily weight? So like five are strawberry, five are cream, and then the other 13 or something. I don't know how, and I don't like it. I don't think they should do that. It's a five cream drink? I love a five cream drink. Could be. So when they go throwing in some other flavors to all these, they taste like they have alcohol in them.

And to me, that doesn't, they taste like they have alcohol in them. And to me, that doesn't make it better. Right. They have alcohol. I think what happens there is they have artificial flavors that you have only previously encountered in alcohol. Of course. That's what I would say. That's why my root beer tastes like Parrot Bay to me. Yeah.

What are you doing? I was like 12. I have a couple with, you know, I bet you we threw Dr. Pepper and Captain Morgan together at some point. What a syrup mess that would have been. There's a specific iteration of Dr. Pepper that we were mixing with alcohol so consistently that I just can't. Well, see, that's why I feel like it's my favorite

is because I don't think I ever did booze with Dr. Pepper. So it is just a pure soda to me. Oh, there's nothing attached. Whereas there's a lot of other sodas that I mixed with stuff and that may come up later in this draft has affected my opinions of them. But like Dr. Pepper was just pure. When you wanted a soda, when you want a fountain soda, you go get a Dr. Pepper. It's the best. It's got a little bit of...

Said it before, it gives me a little tummy trouble these days, the Dr. Pepper. It started as a digestive aid, I believe. It's got prunes, right? That's a rumor, but I don't think there's prune juice in it. It tastes somewhat pruney, and I don't mean that as a criticism at all because I really like Dr. Pepper. Yeah, call it Dr. Pooper.

You know what I mean. Gives me the stomach troubles, you see. I know. You call it Dr. Pooper troubles you see i know i know you called dr pooper dr pooper who are you talking to when you say stuff like that i don't know when you say stuff like dr when you say stuff like dr pooper who are you in conversation with is that your wife is it friends because i've never heard you say it i'm talking to four friends about it right now right but oh you mean you almost you mean who do I normally say it to? Yeah, who do you, like, what kind of person would you be in conversation with?

I don't really drink a lot of Dr. Pooper, so I don't have to bring it up a lot. Right. It doesn't matter. I don't walk by the grocery store and be like, look at the Dr. Pooper over there. Okay. Yeah, I'm not that pedestrian anymore, my friend. I've grown up. I own a home.

I have a car, which I told David in confidence that I never thought I would have again. So, yeah, I'm doing all right. You never thought you would have a car which i told david in confidence that i never thought i would have again so yeah i'm doing all right you never thought you would have a car again i never told anybody until you told everybody your conversations i'd be sitting there like i'm never gonna have a car again oh back in the day when the when the uh the miracle whip uh when it died times yeah just pass just pass Frog down. Just pass Frog down. It looked like it had Dr. Pepper coming out of it. I'll tell you what, that transmission fluid that was leaking all over the streets. My thing on Dr. Pepper, I love Dr. Pepper again. I do too.

I'll sacrifice my stomach for it sometimes. It's really good. I need it cold and I need it out of a can. Yep. I don't want that. I need it cold and I need it out of a can. Yep. Yeah. Like, I don't want that.

I'll go to for all sodas, though. I will say I would rather them out of a can. Same. Although there are certain ones where the filling is great. I like a fountain. Oh, fountain too. Some of them slap hard on the fountain. The plastic bottle is always the least I would like.

Because they go flat. You keep putting the lid back on and it just goes flat so quick. I can't. I don't got time for that. There are some. Yeah. I wonder if there are back on and it just goes flat so quick. I can't. I don't got time for that. There are some... Yeah. I wonder if there are any that are better out of the plastic bottle.

But my order for a Dr. Pepper is can, fountain, plastic bottle. Plastic bottle Dr. Pepper is... That's commendable. Well, thank you. Why don't they just make big cans of all this shit? Isn't aluminum better?

They do. They do now. They make like... Tall boys. Yeah. We should just stop with the plastic. I don't know. Anyway. You know my wife can't bur just stop with the plastic. I don't know. Anyway.

You know, my wife can't burp. What's up? I don't understand. She can't burp. What do they do in semi-pro? You got to hit her in the duodenum or something? She does not have the biological capability of burping. So she's just farting up a storm?

She doesn't fart either. She just has to deal with not burping. This is one of those girls don't fart, girls don't poop, girls don't. Maybe she's just shy in front of you. She's never farted or pooped. She hasn't told me that. My mom straight up

told me girls didn't fart. I believed it until I was probably eight, nine. Damaging. That's damaging. Straight up told me girls didn't fart. I know it is. Do you know how many

we had to hold in in school because of that nasty rumor that we don't do it. To be fair, I held him in. I still hold him in. I think farting is gross. Anybody farting, it's not a sex thing.

It's any fart. It's shit pushing its way out of your intestines in the air that comes first. Not always. It's shit pushing its way out of your intestines. I know, but it's like

making room for stuff. It's gross. It's coming out of your buttholes. It's natural. Yeah, everybody does it all the time. Everybody does it. Plenty of natural stuff is gross. Not every fart is a poop win.

Man, you got to free yourself, bro. Not every fart is a poop win. Not every fart is a poop win. And not every fart is a turd secret, okay? Sometimes. You got to like not deny what your true nature is, but just because you think it's gross, man. We got to get,

we need you to get fucking lasted on mushrooms in the woods dude yeah I need to get back to it so you can embrace wet vegetable I mentioned it the other day and I think that I could I could swing that like I think Lord be fine with it

like you do a couple days off without you never done mushrooms I've never done them and I'd love to see what it's like but I'm scared it's more about people would you be fine with it i think with the right people i would you got to be willing to like i don't want to go too deep in it but you got to be willing to like let yourself go there though like if you're like reserved i would do this alone i do it a lot i would do it alone no i would do it alone I am a I also I'm with Isaac I'm with Isaac I'm with Isaac Not his first time I don't think you should do it

With a big group The first time Yeah not a big group Someone you trust One person you trust A dress Sherpa In the first time But after you've done it

Not a party Not a party situation No No Not socially That'd have to be an accident That would bum me out But anyway

Dr. Pepper Delicious David what can Are you cracking open With the second pick Nice that'd have to be an accident that would bum me out but anyway Dr. Pepper delicious David what can are you cracking open with the second pick nice I'm taking the first ever the first ever pop I ever had any nuance for the first where I was like oh this feels better than the other ones

I'm taking Cherry Coke oh that's such a good one yeah man Cherry Coke is so good later trusty rusty bro it's always right on time that shit is always amazing like it just it always delivers i've gotten cherry other flavored sodas where i've been like this was a mistake i've never gotten a cherry coke and been like oh bad call no and cherry coke another one though do not like it out of a plastic bottle

because it gets it's gotta be I love it the best over ice it never gets cold enough in a plastic bottle yeah over ice it's one of the most candy sodas too it tastes like candy so much fountain slaps

fountain cherry they nailed the cherry candy sodas too. It tastes like candy so much. I know they all do. Fountain slaps. They nailed the cherry. They nailed the amount of cherry. They got it dialed in perfect. And it doesn't taste a little bit like medicine. Sometimes when people do cherry, they go a little too medicinal with it. You get a Robitussin soda. And I don't even like cherries like that.

I don't really dig cherries. I really like cherries. What do you mean you don't like cherries? What about like Rainier cherries? Aren't you up there? Yeah, I don't like them. I don't. What about Buck Cherry? It's not like I don't like a cherry. Buck Cherry. Answer the question.

You don't even want to know. Yeah, Buck Cherry is hilarious. Kelly Jordan, you don't even want me to tell you this. It's your mom's favorite band. I know the band. It's hilarious. What about Cherry Poppin' Daddies? Now you're speaking my language. I don't love the name. Flash Medallion on drums?

Yeah, I didn't get that name was Pretty Buck until, shit, whenever we talked about it, not that long ago. A month, two? Wow. Anyway. Yeah, cherries. I can eat a cherry. It's not like I don't like cherries,

but I don't like them like that. I'm not seeking out cherries. Cherry's one of my favorite flavors. Yeah. Really? Me too. I feel like I would say that cherries, but I don't like them like that. I'm not seeking out cherries. Cherry's one of my favorite flavors. Yeah. Really? Me too. I feel like I would say that, but it gets corrupt so often

and it's like, so often it goes wrong. Sure. I see that. In the medicine, like, you know what I'm saying? It really did go under the bus with medicine

where they're like, what cherry ever, you know? Remember that, um, it's going to break down your stock. Did you guys, were you too old for this? Do you remember the, um,

shampoo for kids that came out in the bot? It was L'Oreal. It was kind of shaped like a fish. Yes. With a little, and it came in all those. Yeah. And there was one that was cherry almond,

I think was the flavor and that, or the scent. And it was the best. Yeah. I know the exact thing you're talking about. Some of that on the rocks. Yeah, I know the exact thing you're talking about Some of that would be good Cherry Coke is like a treat on a treat

Yeah Which is nice, where it's already Coke And then they're adding a little bit more to it Which when you're a kid is like incredibly clutch Because you're like, oh, it's not just a Coke My cat just opened the door And it was so loud Hello, Beetlejuice

It's not justice. It's, it's not just like a, you know, you're like, it's with cream on top. Yeah. I drink soda all the time. I'm used to that.

I need, I need something a little more exciting. You're like a soda pervert when you're a kid. You know what I mean? You're just too used to, you're just too used to the thrills. You're doing suicides. You're going crazy. Yeah.

Suicides, dude. Which is like, somebody needs to watch you. That's a real sugar mess. You're just going over here going nuts. Unregulated youth. But yeah, Cherry Coke is my first pick. I feel great about it.

Latchkey flavored soda. Sean Jordan. Sean Jordan. You've had two sodas ripped off the six pack. What are you going to take to make it three? Mountain Dew oh gosh that was all you I have

somebody sent me six like regional 20 ounce Mountain Dew flavors the other day in the mail, I won't but I've cultivated them I couldn't be happier with my. But I've cultivated them. Yeah, we were going to pick them. I couldn't be happier with my lane right now because it's hot sauce and Mountain Dew that people send me.

That's why I have a P.O. box. I would like hot sauce as well. I got some jerky for both of you. That's why I have a P.O. box. I got it for the hot sauce. If we're sending people stuff, I'd like some hot sauce. We were sent some jerky. J&L jerky.

They're dope, by the way. J&L jerky. Shout out. They sent us all some jerky. I'll send it to you guys. J&L? Like jerking off jerky? What? Why are you doing that? J&L? J&L? L. Jerking laugh. I mean jerking. It's funny.

It would be like that. J&L? J&L is jacking low. That's when you're in a deep squat. I mean, jerking. It's funny. It would be like JNL. JNL is jacking low. That's when you're in a deep squat. Mountain Dew, same thing. Can't do out of a 20 ounce. Gotta be a can. Has to be a can. I'll appreciate no jokes during this.

Has to be a can or a fountain. The bottle, unless I'll drink a bottle real fast of Mountain Dew still. I'll still drink a 20 ounce in like 10 minutes. This is one of the ones where I think you can get it out of a bottle and you're not missing much. It starts to hurt your teeth. If it's not done in 15 minutes, it starts to make my teeth feel like gummy bears.

It's like a Corona, man. You got to drink it while it's fizzy and cold. I don't want a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew. I think it should be illegal to even manufacture such a thing. I don't think they sell them like that. They shouldn't. I think the should be illegal to even manufacture such a thing. I don't think they sell them like that. They shouldn't. I think the Geneva Convention banned it. They sell three liters.

That's bad. A handle? I think a Mountain Dew should be out of a can all the time. That's awful. If I'm eating Taco Bell, which I usually am, it's with Mountain Dew. You can't have Taco Bell with something else.

It's Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew, and you get shit for it. It's so good. Never have once have I said it's good for you. It's just good. It's just so good. It's candy. Where are we at on the sperm count with it?

I feel like there was a controversy, and then I feel like they changed it. The narrative's different. It was the yellow five made it so you couldn't have babies not true i got a kid based on what i've uh yeah you are proof positive that it's uh you can drink as much mountain dew as you want and so i've had a lot experience it gives you more sperm just based on the amount of kids people have and how much mountain dew those people drink it seems like it makes your sperm go to a monster truck rally and it's like, you had nine kids? You drink a Mountain Dew? I mean, something works.

Yeah. I think that yellow five gives you like a minimum of five kids. That's what's going on. Yeah. Yellow five children. Mountain Dew, man. Can't go wrong. Give me all the wacky letters. Give me all the extreme shit. Give me all of it. I don't care. All of it. Mountain Dew.

Yeah, I think it's dope. It's great. Give me, I don't care what color it is. Is it, and it's earnestly of the, of all the remaining sodas. This is your favorite soda or are you just, is this an identity claim? No. As you have become a Mountain Dew, you are the face of Mountain Dew. It would have been up. It would have been before Dr. Pepper and Cherry Coke would have been up there.

It would have been before both those though. There's only one other that kind of gets close and it just really depends on the mood. But most of the time it's Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew was for me, I remember there was a variant,

the first variant of Mountain Dew. That was the first, that was the first, that was the first soda I ever had where I was like, yo, this is straight up bad. I know what you're talking about. Even as a kid,

I was like, this shit is nasty. Yeah. I don't like that one. So I know what you're talking about. Even as a kid, I was like, this shit is nasty. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that one. So I know what you're talking about. But straight up Mountain Dew and without diving too far into it, but I consider myself a Mountain Dew purist. I want to stick with the original. I don't know. You've sent me some wacky bottles over the past few months,

honestly. I'm going to send you guys a photo of what's in the garage right now. Please do. Unless it's guys a photo of what's in the garage right now. I got... Please do. Unless it's like a body. There's like seven different kinds of Mountain Dew in the garage. Unless it's like a lady tied up. Then don't send it. No, there's a treadmill and a bunch of Mountain Dew next to it.

Nice. Try to figure me out. You can't do it. Extreme workout. And Citizen Kane, 45 minutes in. Are you only 45 in now? You did 15 more on that. Yeah, I was going to say

it's 15. I had to rent it again and it really bummed me out because I rented it and it expired because I started playing it and I thought it was good for 30 days.

You know who would probably enjoy this kind of thing? Once you start, you get 24 hours. Your wife. Yeah. Watch it with your wife. It's a good movie.

It's after this thing, after this taping, every night is spoken for very much so right now. We don't have any free nights because I'm either doing stand-up or she's got to work. So after the thing is recorded, then we'll watch it.

Then you're going to get your cane on. Then we'll get our cane on. Get our Abel on, dude. We're going to read the Bible. It's going to be tank. Time for my first pick. And I'm drafting just for the taste of it Diet Coke

Ooh, wow First Diet Coke tastes like Shit to me Diet Coke, it's the soda I grew up on I probably drank more, I got most of my water From Diet Coke growing up, I think Do you think this is a pick because you grew up on it

Or because you actually genuinely like the taste Sub-question, does that inform our taste Oh, you're coming for him for that, Sean I'm asking I think Do you think this is a pick because you grew up on it or because you actually genuinely like the taste sub question does that inform our taste Oh you're coming for him for that Sean I'm asking I'm asking you think Diet Coke

tastes good David I went through a phase where I liked Diet Coke you can convince yourself it's like Red Bull remember the first Red Bull you had and you're like

that tastes like a sock from a locker and then the second Red Bull you had you were like I could kind of get used to that and then you were fiending for your third get used to that. I always liked Red Bull.

You were fiending for your third one because it had hooks in you. That's how I feel about Diet Coke. It's like I had to convince myself that it was good. But once I did, I could rip Diet Cokes. An ice cold can of Diet Coke. Ice cold can of Diet Coke out of the back of the fridge. Yeah, but not anymore. Now I'm cultured.

I'm off soda in general, including diet soda, but an ice cold diet Coke when I was growing up just did the fucking job for me. I loved it. I loved the flavor. Now, few things taste worse

than a flat diet Coke. Oof. I will tell you. It loses. Because at that point, the effervescence is gone. Or soda ice melts. Some of the ice melts. Then it. Because at that point, the effervescence is gone. Or some of the ice melts. Some of the ice melts. Then it starts to become

a real, like a fountain Diet Coke that you left for like two hours and you go back and take a poll on. That'll, you know what I mean? It's like there's a cigarette in there. Yeah, it's awful. But ice cold Diet Coke out of a can?

Out of a fountain. I love it. Fountain. Yeah, out of a can out of a fountain I love it fountain yeah out of a fountain yeah Diet Coke can be tasty Mike Francesa loves Diet Coke that's a sports

radio guy didn't it was the T word wasn't he into Diet Coke or is he just regular Coke Donny Trump yeah

yeah he loved it the funniest Republican is into Diet Coke the T word I never heard that. Yeah, I mean, Laura runs it for days. Yeah, it's just not... Diet Coke is lunch

to a specific demographic of women. Is she rolling gold bullets or silver? Mostly silver. I'll roll the gold. I honestly think the golds taste better than the silvers. I do. I'll roll the gold. I'll roll the gold. I honestly think the golds, I think they taste better

than the silvers. I do. I don't know how that is possible. They have to make it gold because it's double unfun. They take out all the good stuff and then they're like,

but it's gold and it worked on you, Sean. I don't want to sound like an asshole here. Does caffeine have a taste? I believe so. I think it is that bitter taste in coffee.

Okay. Well, what is, can we taste it in the sodas? I believe so. I think it is that bitter taste in coffee. Okay. Can we taste it in the soda? I can't tell if something's caffeine-free or not. I've never tasted the difference in a caffeine-free. I don't think. Okay. Yeah. Because they used to say that thing that burns your throat

is the caffeine, that burn that you get when you take a drink of a soda. That's the carbonation. I just Googled it. And yes, caffeine has a bitter taste. Okay. Compliments, sweeteners we use in a beverage. In cola products, for example, that bitterness is actually used as part of the taste, partly to counter the sweetness, and partly because it adds to the unique cola taste. So I would bet that's why there's so much sugar in soda is because it has to counteract the bitter.

And if you take the caffeine out, you could probably take out a bunch of the sugar. So if you get like those zero, well, I don't, all right. Well, maybe we'll talk about it later. Maybe it'll come up later. Maybe we will. I thought of this earlier when you said the effervescence is gone

from your Diet Coke. If you leave a Mountain Dew sitting out for a couple hours, the evanescence is gone. So you got to drink it. You got to drink it. Definitely the soundtrack to Slammin' a Dude.

I can't wake up. Wake me up inside. Save me. Weird time. Diet Coke's bubbles are the sharpest. I can't make that make more sense,

but I do feel like Diet Coke's bubbles are the sharpest. Yes, they are. I think that's but I do feel like Diet Coke's bubbles are the sharpest. Yes, they are. I think that's why I like Tapachico so much now because I like a tight, sharp bubble. And that's just something about me that everyone here is going to have to deal with.

Time for my second pick. I have a lot of silly little ones. Well, I don't know, man. I feel a lot of silly little ones. Well. I don't know, man. I feel like we're all kind of going to get into those, I feel like. Unless you're doing. Go ahead. What? No, I mean, I was.

I'm torn here. Nothing's right. Nothing's right. Nothing's right. This is how you feel. I'm dipping my ladle in the lemon lime creek for the first time here. Okay. I'm taking a seven up.

Yeah. Okay. Seven up? Seven up. Not for me, but you know. It is my preferred of the two major lemon lime sodas. Really? Oh, yeah.

By far. I like hospital drink to me. If you have an upset, it's great if you have an upset tummy. Yeah, so it's medicine. It tastes more natural. 7-Up tastes more natural to me. Yeah, I don't know when it started, but it's less invasive to me for some reason. But I really don't get them ever. But I do not mind them.

I love a 7-Up over ice. Fantastic. I love it. I can't go with you on this. Me neither. What are we putting in 7-Up? We put gin in there? What do we put? You can put gin in there. You can put Seagram.

I forgot about 7-Up. That was one of the first drinks we'd order because it's just one of those that's easy. You know, when you're young and you think you need to order a named drink and that would be one. We'd get a 7 and 7 on the rocks. 7 and 7 was one of my most insane nights

I've ever had in my entire life. That was the jug, right? Where you're bleeding talking to the cop? Yeah. Oh, no, a Brita water cooler. I filled a Brita water filter pitcher up with a fifth of seagrams and a two liter bottle of seven up and drank out of that all night uh we had like a massive we had 300 people like a little star fucker played in the basement and another band called the newspapers and the cops came because

there were 300 people at a house party in southeast Portland. And, oh, I fell down the stairs that night. And then, like, I scraped my forehead against the wall. So I was bleeding. And then the cops came. And I was like, I'll talk to the cops. And went outside and was talking to the cops, bleeding out of my forehead. I put my arm around the cop. And my other friend, who was also blackout drunk, but less blackout drunk, was like, don't do that. Don't put your arm around the cop and my other friend who was also blackout

drunk, but less blackout drunk was like, don't do that. Don't put your arm around the cop. And I was like, okay. Damn, the voice of reason. Later in the night, I was so upset at our landlord for calling the cops, which I don't think he did. He just showed up. Then I tried to run to his house to fight him.

And that same friend had to lure me back into the house with imitation crab. Was that Nampay? Nampay. That's a good friend, my friend. That's a good friend. He was like, you don't want to do this. And imitation crabbed me back into the house. It was good imitation crab.

I enjoyed it. Anyway, 7-Up was part of that night. So it's a treasure. Imitation crabbed me back into the house. It's a treasure memory. The best 7-Up alcoholic drink was the 007, which was. See, okay. Tell these fools because I picked that in our alcohol

draft and they said they'd never heard of it. It was a... It was orange vodka. Stolio. No, I think it was Stolio. Stolio or Bacardi. Oh, yeah. Well, Bacardi's rum. We use Bacardi. It's supposed to be Stolio, orange juice, and 7-Up.

Yeah. And it's really good because it's like you wouldn'tolio, orange juice and 7-Up. Yeah. And it's really good because it's like, you wouldn't think, but like, have you ever had like an Orangina? I don't think that counts. Oh, yeah. So I'm saying maybe what might be picks. Oh, yeah. But it's like an orange juice that's soda-y. Oh, I wouldn't, I'll take it off then. I'm sorry I said it.

No, it's too late. But it's just like a juice that you're at first like this might either work or it's not going to work. And then you take a sip and you're like, this works. Yeah. That's, and then with alcohol in it. So it's not going to work. And then you take a sip and you're like, this works. And then with alcohol in it. So those were delicious. I'd love a 007. Neither David or I were bartenders.

So we just don't know about it. Because what are we going to find out about it? Under the radar ones. Well, when I moved to Portland, it just honestly turned into whiskey and beer. And that was it. But we did a draft where we drafted mixed drinks, and I was like, I can't just draft. Those aren't even mixed drinks. So, yeah, 007 was one of them, because that was like back in

the day, right? Brand new to bars. That would be my like, let me get a 007. Bars? So, 7Up, a universally beloved pick by everyone here on this draft. I think it's a great pick. I'm going to need people to hit me up on Twitter

or whatever. Oh, no, don't. Just stand with your pick. No, I need to know that. Stand with your pick. I'm standing with it. I'm standing firmly on top of 7-Eleven Mountain here. But I need to know that there are other people out there

who enjoy 7up as much as me. Orlando Jones is going to hit you. Hit me up, Orlando. 7-Up yours, dude. Making 7-Up yours. I just think it's delicious. I love it over ice. I actually love it out of a bottle. Plastic bottle. Out of a bottle.

Out of a bottle. Or out of a bottle. Diet Coke and 7-Up. I'm building a fucking weird roster here with the grit and grind. I'm building a fucking weird roster here with the grit and grind. I'm building the grit and grind Grizzlies, and I don't care. Sean Jordan, time for your second pick.

All right. Second pick. It's tough. I don't know how weird you guys are going to get. What am I? I'm third, so it's got to go around, what, four more times before I get back?

Right? Yes. There'll be four more picks before you're next. We're not helping you, dude. You're on your own. Thank you, Katie. I appreciate it, right? Yes. There'll be four more picks before you. We're not helping you, dude. You're on your own. Thank you, Katie. I appreciate it. I got you. We're soldiers and allies in this draft. You're nice.

I'm going to pick my favorite of what I consider the big three, and I'm going to pick Bark's Root Beer. Oh, what? Of all the Root? That's, yeah. It's not my top Root Beer, but it's a good Root Beer. Me neither. And actually, there's four. Sorry, it's the big four. I don't know why I said three.

But anyway, there's the B4 for these. My personal favorite, I don't really know why. I think it's because it's the first time I... One of the first and only times I went to camp, I went to camp twice, like away, go away from home camp. And they had a Barks root beer fountain machine on the campgrounds. And it was like, Barks.

It was one of the few things we could do where we had our own like, would autonomy, would I use it right here, where we could just do stuff ourself? Did I use that right? Autonomy? It's when your belly button is an Audi? Yeah. Yeah, I was autonomy.

I'd pour, we'd go get our Barks. Every day we'd be like, let's go back to this. We'd get like 15 a day because that's like the thing we could go do that nobody cared about. And I just love it. It's my favorite. I also feel like their aesthetic was heavy into like Rebel. It was like the tattooed root beer. It was like the we're

bad. Yeah. Barks is a movie bro. Yeah. Barks has bite. Yeah. Barks has bite. They had the fun ad campaign too. Which I thought it was one of you guys. That's why I'm shocked we didn't do the ad campaign too. Which I thought it was one of you guys. That's why I'm shocked we didn't do the soda draft already. But I think it was one of you guys who pointed out to me that that means it has caffeine

and that the other root beers don't have caffeine. And I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I don't think I pointed that out. Somebody else pointed that out to me. Also, the can looked like a beer. Yeah, it did look like it. It looked like a Coors.

Yeah. It looked like you were drinking a beer. It has caffeine? I'm not sure we haven't drafted sodas. There's a chance. I know. I really think you have. We looked it up. We've never repeated it. We almost did the other day.

We noticed like two hours or something before. It might have been a few months ago. Yeah, anyway, if we repeated one, sorry, it's still there. Yeah, Barks is notable for its caffeine content. It has more caffeine. No wonder I liked it so much. There we go. There's a reason. There's that. Yeah, I'm a big... I just

found out last night it's spelled B-A-R-Q apostrophe S. I did not know that. You just found out? Really? I thought it was bark like a dog. Yeah. Nah. I drank hella Barks growing up. Is it a name? What's B-A-R-Q? It has bite. The Barks Brothers

Bottling Company was founded in 1890 in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Back when brothers were brothers. Barks Brothers. Edward Bark moved to Biloxi, Mississippi in 1897 with his new wife. Yeah. Biloxi. That's Biloxi shit. Is that where Limp Bizkit's from?

22 milligrams of caffeine in a normal-sized can. Oh, they're from Jacksonville. You're right. You're right. You're right. Sorry, everybody. Sorry, everybody, for getting the Limp Bizkit shit wrong. How much is a normal amount of caffeine?

Because it has 22 in a can. I think that's a bit much. It's like a serving of green tea. Anyway, Barks, baby. I love it. And it is. It's like you serving of green tea. Anyway, Barks, baby. I love it. And it is. It's like you're drinking beer. That is, man, a lot of good points.

I'm happy with that pick. I would say there's a root beer that was a lot more like a beer, but we'll wait, I guess. I feel like I picked two fun adult first-round talent professional picks, but I got some fun ones I want. I don't want them to get taken, and I think they're going to. You think an adult professional pick? I do.

You took Mountain Dew first. You, okay. Mountain Dew is a professional role. Google the most popular soda. Google the most sold or most bought soda. I bet you dollars to donuts. Which one do you want me to Google? You said three different things.

It's like top three. You didn't say the word popular. Say highest grossing soda. I bet you it's in like top three. You didn't say the word popular. Say highest-grossing soda. I bet you it's in the top three. An adult professional pick would be like a club soda with a twist of lime. Nah, that's whack, dude. This adult

professional has a fun job like Tom Hanks and Big. My pick outranks your pick. Are they in the top three? I don't believe that. I think my pick outranks your pick, too, Sean Jordan. I highly doubt that. Diet three? I don't believe that. I think my pick outranks your pick too, Sean Jordan. I highly doubt that. Diet Coke? You don't think Americans are buying more Diet Coke than Mountain Dew? Diet Coke is number one,

is number two according to this Newsweek. But that's just one source and it's from 2021. Newsweek, dorky adults. Go to like, go to extremenewsfuckyourdad.com. I'm four, you're five on most of the lists I'm looking at. Alright. I'm four, you're five. extremenewsfuckyourdad.com. I'm four year five on most of the lists I'm looking at. All right. I'm four year five.

Extreme news. Fuck your dad.com. Extreme news. Fuck you, dad. I didn't mean to say, fuck you, dad.

Okay. Fuck you, dad. Fuck you. Don't go to extreme news. Fuck your dad. I think extreme news fucked a lot of our dads in an election. Yeah. Well,

holy buckets. Not Ivan. I don't know where my dad would have landed on this if he were still with us. It's one of the more interesting things to think about. The soda thing or the politics? The politics thing. It's a wild thing because my uncle was very, very, very like Bernie bro,

but I don't know where my dad would have landed. I think he would have landed on an unfortunate side. Anyway. David, time for your second pick. I'm excited for David's. It's the first soda I ever thought was top shelf. Like, the Cherry Coke was special, but this was truly like, I might as well be drinking champagne.

I'm taking cream soda. Yeah, man, I love cream soda. Which cream soda? Ooh, gun to my head. I mean, if we're going top shelf shelf I'd have to say like IBC oh okay that's the one I was thinking that looks more like a beer hey cream sodas are candy

that is the closest it gets to me where it's like it's okay to be wrong it's not for me it's just like root beer without the thing I like that's what I like to buy it's like oh man I love it cream soda is one of the rare ones that tastes like it has liquor in it, but I don't

care. To me. Cream soda. Broccoli milk water. Oh, yeah, exactly that. You're not turning me off. You ever had like a, not like an egg cream, what's the soda that they put, like from a soda shop type

of soda? Like a malt? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. With like the seltzer water and then the ice cream. I know what you're talking about. It ain't cream, it's chocolate. No, so that's not that. But it tastes like one of those soda fountain. Yeah.

I used to make them at this place in Sioux Falls, Zambro's. You can go there in a week, David. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, that kind of thing. But yeah, I love it. Cream soda, man. For days. days taste the way

a velvet jumpsuit feels exactly now i can't really do a lot of i can't even do a whole can really i usually know it's like first it's slow sipping it's slow sipping i don't get a lot of cream so like if i get a 20 ounce bottle of cream soda i'm drinking five of those ounces i don't think i'm getting a 20 ounce bottle of cream soda. Sometimes you just feel like a little rubric there for your, for what you got a weird little rubric for what goes down easy and what doesn't. I, I know,

man, I don't, I don't know what to do about it. I just don't know how you can pick a soda. You wouldn't chug, you know, 20, whatever liquid liters of,

I don't want to chug 20 liters of cherry Coke either. Can I go back to 7-Up really quick? Another point in its favor is it is a great burping soda. Nothing will make you burp like a 7-Up, and it's a fun burp. It's loud. It's cacophonous. It sounds like a jet breaking the sound barrier, and you don't get that with every soda. A cream soda is a heavy burp, a wet, heavy burp. 7-Up? You earned it. You did, but 7-Up is like. I love a cream soda is a heavy burp. A wet, heavy burp.

Yeah. Seven up? You earned it. You did. But seven up is like. I love a cream soda. I didn't realize that the world was torn on cream sodas. I guess my world.

You either love it or you hate it, as far as people I know. Yeah, I guess it's divisive. I had no idea. I like a cream soda. I do too. A lot. It does feel like a cream soda. I do too. A lot. It does feel like a top shelf. A recipe for cream soda written by E.M. Sheldon

and published in Michigan Farmer in 1852. They were just throwing initials together that didn't go together. Stop. I was clearly in the middle of a sentence. And that's when you decided to jump right in there? I didn't hit a fucking period. You hit two. E.M., they don't have periods after him?

I retract my statement. And I apologize for my tone and candor. I apologize. It called for water, cream of tartar, Epsom salts, sugar, egg, and milk to be mixed, then heated, and mixed when cool with water and a quarter teaspoon full of baking soda. And that's how they made the first cream soda. Yuck. That sounds disgusting. What's the flavor? You guys are sick. Still going for it.

Milk and cream of tartar, which is also what makes, like, they put that in snickerdoodles as well. Not just cream of tartar. Is it not tartar? Well, it depends on, it's a regional thing. Ah, yes. But is it, so, like, tartar sauce. Is that tartar? Is that where cream of tartar comes from, or regional it's a regional thing ah yes but is it so like tartar sauce is that tartar

is that where is that where cream of tartar comes from or is it a completely different thing oh no maybe it is tartar I think it's the same thing tartar sauce soda sounds nasty to me

no it's not that I think I'm messing it up I think you're right it's tartar sauce but it's cream of tartar I think they're two different things I think with all the words that we have available to us

we probably could have renamed it something to make it less confusing personally that's what I'm saying you fucking let Ken Jennings know which one of us had it right next time you see him I will I think with all the words that we have available to us, we probably could have renamed it something to make it less confusing. Personally, you fucking let Ken Jennings know which one of us had it right. Next time you see him. I will. I'll ask.

Uh, cream of tartar is potassium by tartrate, AKA potassium, hydrogen tartrate, a by-product of wine making. It's an acid similar to lemon or vinegar often used in baking or in cleaning. So it's like baking soda. And in chomping down cream sodas.

Come on. Come on. The time has come for Katie Nolan to make her second and third picks. All right. Second pick, I'm going to take Sunkissed Orange. Oh! Tasty treat.

I like many orange sodas. I feel like it's the type of soda that between brands, there's the least amount of variance. I think they all taste pretty similar. But if I had to pick a brand, I would go with Sunkist. It feels like the brighter of the oranges to me. But I'm not turning my nose up at a mm-hmm, if you know what I'm saying.

I do want a hmm-hmm, but I would go for Sunkist if I had my druthers, which I do, as it is my pick. Sunkist always tasted to me like a little bit of a chemical aftertaste

that I can't place. Yeah, you're right about that. Oh, I thought it always was the, maybe I'm thinking of the wrong one, but I thought Sunkist in a can during that pandemic. The other one is a little heavier. The other one is a little bit of a, but I thought Sunkist in a can during that pandemic. The other one is a little heavier. The other one is a little bit of a heavier flavor than a Sunkist.

But a Sunkist does have a little bit of a chemically aftertaste. A little bit. Not enough to not like it. I don't think you can go wrong with an orange soda. Yeah, I love orange soda. You can drink it in the morning and not feel guilty. Orange juice, baby. I've never met one that I wasn't in love with. What's up, Playboy? There he is. They're all saying in the morning and not feel guilty. Orange juice, baby. I've never met one that I

wasn't in love with. What's up, playboy? There he is. They're all saying hi. She wants to get out of here so bad. She's been like clawing at the door. Man, now that we get like a peek into your daily life, you got a pretty good situation going on. Doesn't it rule?

Yeah, it does. Yeah, it seems pretty dang. I'm going to go so bad. Whoa. Oh, my God. No, her, not him. It's the dog. Yeah.

It's the dog. Damn. Danny had to pee. No, BD had to go. Go then. Yeah, an orange soda, man. You can't. I've never met one I didn't want to marry.

I love an orange soda. All of them. I also like the confidence of just going K-I-S-T. That soda's busy. It's got places to be. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Doesn't an orange soda. I also like the confidence of just going K-I-S-T. That soda's busy. It's got places to be. You know what I mean? Doesn't have all this time to spell out kissed all the way. Grow up.

Come on. Sun-kissed. Sun-kissed. Sun-kissed. Yeah. Sun-kissed. Delicious. Love it.

Next pick? Katie loves orange soda. Yes, she does. She does. She does. But what else does she love? This was my first top shelf soda. This was what I thought you were going to go with. This to me was like, oh, she does. She does. She does. But what else does she love? This was my first top shelf soda. This was what I thought you were going to go with. This to

me was like, oh, pinky up. It's a Fresca. Fresca seems like an adult soda. Fresca is tasty and refreshing. It's got an interesting name. And I found out once I got

older that you can make like a bootleg margarita if you mix tequila with a fresca. It's sneaky tasty. I guess it would actually be like a bootleg Paloma, right? Because it's grapefruit. Yeah. Man, I love a Paloma. It's so good.

It just is such a tasty. It's like a very complex soda. I think as a kid, it was my dad's soda. Of course. So when we did, when everything was, if we had nothing left, I'm like, can I have a Fresca? And I remember not really caring about it. And then when I was older, revisiting Fresca and it was life-changing. Yeah.

I thought I could get this later and that was foolish of me. I just found out there's three different kinds of Fresca. I didn't know that. I thought there were all three. Was there always? Well, Ian, there's hope for you still. I didn't know there were. Yeah. I all the different kinds. Was there always, though? Well, Ian, there's hope for you still. I didn't know there were. Yeah, I don't think there always was.

Maybe not, though. Oh, well, because Laura's adult-ass drinks them, so I got to get them at the store now. And I remember, like, last Christmas, I had to get some. I was like, oh, what kind? There's three of them. Oh, look at new Fresca.

I feel like you get all the Frescas. No, Fresca is wandering into, well, sure. But it's wandering into the old San Pellegrino soda territory. Oh, I can see it being adjacent to that. Yeah, that's why it's on your list because it's like almost barely a soda. I know. I like the original. I like the OG.

I'm just looking at what they've been up to. I'm just looking at what they've been up to lately. The only time I've ever enjoyed a grapefruit situation is with a Fresca. I can't stand grapefruit. Oh, I have. There's others. There's other. Strawberries and cream Fresca.

There's original citrus, black cherry citrus and peach citrus. Yeah. Yeah. What? That's what I'm saying. What did you say? Black cherry? I didn't know.

I would drink a black cherry. I said strawberries and cream. I was just joking. There is a black cherry. I mean, the OG ones are the grapefruit, right? It's all grapefruit, right? The OGs. Yeah. That's strawberries and cream. I was just joking. There is a black cherry. I mean, the OG ones are the grapefruit, right? It's all grapefruit, right? The OGs?

Yes, I think so. Yes. There's also a Fresca hearts vodka spritz. Now, talk to me. I love everybody getting

in this alcohol game. It is. People are getting mad about that. I'm like, everybody get into it. But it's also funny because everybody's getting into the

NA game as well Every alcohol company is like This one doesn't have booze Everybody eats man who cares 2023 everything's fluid man including the fluid Let's do it Yeah every time I see a new one of those hard seltzers I'm like yup

Lipton hard seltzer Yup All of them Oh does that count It's in a can Lipton hard seltzer Yep All of them That's gross baby Yeah dude Oh does that count It's in a can You can have it if it does

It's not carbonated though Is it not It's still got that tang to it though It's got that tang It's got that tang It's got that like botulism Yeah At the end of it

It's like should I be drinking this What is this Yeah David Time for your third pick Yeah. At the end of it. Should I be drinking this? What is this? Yeah. David? Time for your third pick. I got to go with the classic burners. Yeah. A what?

A burners. What's a burners? A ginger ale. You guys never had a burners? No. I thought you said a classic burner and I was waiting for like a caffeine burner. I thought you were going to pick one of the obvious ones that we still have. I'm with you, David.

I love a burners. I've heard of burners. I see it drinks it that's like his that's like his go-to i love it i love i mean because it wasn't gonna get taken anyways and i don't know if it counts as soda i love ginger beer as well we used to always i used to get them as a kid but burners is like kind of like splits that line between still having the ginger flavor and not being like. There's another brand of ginger ale that's more popular. That's like very not gingery. Yeah. And it's like right in the middle of ginger beer and ginger ale.

And oh, man, I love it. Our list is getting devastated right now, man. I'm taking hits. I should not have taken seven up so early. Yeah, I think you could have gotten that late. I'm getting just fucking. Werner's looks like you're drinking a Heineken or a Mickey's or something, too. Yeah.

That shit really looks like beer. That looks like green beer. David and I have a similar soda profile is what I'm loving. Similar soda palate, yeah. Ginger Ale's Dan's favorite soda. He'll drink 17 of those in one sitting if you'll let him. They're so good. On an airplane?

It's very brand loyal, and it's not to that. It's not to Vernors. No, I understand the other ones for sure. I just, Vernors is so good. It's just, man. Now, those, ginger ale's only alcohol with me. I can't drink a regular. I could, but I don't like a regular.

With alcohol, fantastic. I love a regular. On an airplane, a little ginger ale over ice? It's just kind of like- Champagne to the sky. champagne of the sky. Yeah, it's kind of light, you know, which feels good. I just, yeah, even as a kid, I always really loved it. I like that ginger flavor. A digestif. Digestif.

It was what you would drink if you were sick. You could drink a soda. You could drink a ginger ale, but my mom would take the bubbles out of it, which... What? How? Stir it with a metal spoon. It is a product of Ireland originally. Yeah, we did it. We did some stuff. My brother-in-law was just telling

me a story about how his college roommate would get a two liter of whatever soda and he hated carbonation, so he would sit and shake it, open the cap a little bit, let it all out, close it back up, shake it till it was flat, and then guzzle it. Yuck. Absolutely yuck. Doesn't that sound crazy sound crazy yeah there's some that would go better with that than others like oh that sounds wild to me he picked one that would not be good like that it was diet cody diet cokie

diet cody diet cody man hey girls it's me diet cody left the rodeo it's me full strength are our regular cody's cheekbones too defined for you diet cody's here i don't have those muscles over my crotch it's just kind of soft diet cody with a k diet cody spells it with a c dude diet cody keeps the top on his Jeep on. We need to have a limited amount of time. Maybe not to go down the Diet Cody riff. Well, Diet Cody. I'm going to Diet Cody.

Sean, it's time for your next pick before we get to it. I'm going to take another short little break. Little tiny break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35,

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we want to touch a little bit on self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. You know, some stuff like you can't... I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there, it's really hard to find the time for those things that I want, that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know that sounds ridiculous and I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what they used to be. But I know that's what makes me happy.

And it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything else. Non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever in that situation. You need to set time, get it. Like I keep saying, get a new set of ears on it. If you, if you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time. You can make time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it.

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with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash allfantasy today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash allfantasy. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy. Already in progress. Your audio didn't mess up. My tongue did.

Not only can you see us doing, listen to us doing fantasy drafts on this podcast, you can also see us live out on the road. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Blue Sky, all that stuff. You can come see me on the road at the House of Comedy in Vancouver, B.C. with Sean Jordan

November 30th through December 3rd in Austin at the Vulcan Gas Company December 8th and 9th at the City Winery in New York January 4th City Winery in Philadelphia January 5th City Winery in Boston, Massachusetts January 6th at Hyena's in Fort Worth, Texas January 19th through the 20th

in Phoenix, Arizona February 1st through the 3rd doing a live AFE and stand up with these two gentlemen. I will be at Revolution Hall in Portland on March 23rd and I just added a new date.

I will be at the Punchline in San Francisco right before that, March 13th through the 16th. Come see me do stand-up comedy. I might have to go do that with you. Come on down. Pre-order all T-shirt

Swim Club. My debut novel. My debut book. Part memoir, part essays about being fat in America. Wr wrote with my little sister David Borey is here coolguyjokes87 on Instagram where can people see you

I just announced January 12th and 13th I'm going to be at Hilarity's in Cleveland all the other dates are rolling in I'm not sure of them right now though tour's over I'm sleeping leave me alone leave him alone Sean Jordan is here Sean is Jordan on Twitter Sean Cougarmill and Jordan on Instagram Sean Jordan is here. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mill Jordan on Instagram.

Sean Jordan on YouTube. Follow him there. Yeah, thanks. Sean Jordan Comedian on YouTube. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Is this the last week of November? Yeah, that's right. Oh, catch me. I'm featuring for Shane Torres at Comedy on State in Madison this weekend. I will

be Sioux Falls, South Dakota, January 18th through the 21st for the Snow Jam Comedy Festival, so come to that. And that's really, you know, I'll be Sioux Falls, South Dakota January 18th through the 21st for the Snow Jam Comedy Festival so come to that and that's really you know I'll be with Ian and then I'll be with

the gentlemen we've covered those so be excellent to each other other than that Katie Nolan anything you want to direct people towards?

At Katie Nolan on X and at Naty Colon on Instagram and keep your head on a swivel for my Celebrity Jeopardy semifinal episode.

Not sure when it's airing, but it's probably soon by the time you're listening to this. Man, I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to see your face right now. I can't wait. I don't want to put you

in this position where I want to know stuff. I know. Is Blue Sky that new app, the other app everyone's talking about? Sean Jordan, time for your third pick.

We don't have time to get into all these Twitter alternatives. You have to tell me. It's Twitter-esque. I'll send you a code right now. Oh, I don't have one. Send me a code.

I'm going Welch's Grape. Oh, Cheese Egg. Oh, yeah. He's talking about grape juice, right? Or is he talking about Welch's grape soda? I didn't know Welch's made a soda. That's my own personal fault. Welch's does make a soda.

And it was a tough, tough decision because they make, in my eyes, two of the best fruit sodas. And I went with grape. And it's real tough. It's real close, real tough. Is the other one a grape but a different color? No, that's a different brand So there's another different brand that makes another amazing grape I'm talking Welch's makes two amazing fruit sodas

IMO Amazing grapes As sweet as hell Keep going As sweet as hell That saved a soda like me. Like me. Good singer.

All right, Welch's. Welch's grape. I love it. I love it to pieces. It's one that's not in every place. So if I see it in a gas station, a can of it, usually gets got. Real good.

Welch's grape might have also just been the jam he was putting on the toast. I always thought of it usually gets got uh real good well just great might have also just been the jam he was putting on the toast i liked i always thought of it as juice yeah i always thought of it as grape juice cheese eggs well just great but the breakfast with the juice with the breakfast if he's talking about soda even danker but i don't think he was i digress well it wasn't night time yeah it wasn't night but you know They probably got up at 9pm I mean you know Welch's grape is good It is an overwhelming flavor

Not in a bad way always but it is like It's thick It's there It's the tone of the tiger of soda flavors Welch's grape And in the interest of time Time for my picks. I don't need to smash on it too hard,

but yes. I'm going to take squirt. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Squirt's a sneaky one, man. It is squirt.

Really good. I love squirt, dude. Woo. Squirt. It's good. I love it too. I love it.

I heard it's just pee. It looks like it. It looks like pee. Look at a 20 ounce bottle. That's the weirdest color of green too. I love it. I heard it's just pee. It looks like it. It looks like pee. Look at a 20 ounce bottle. That's the weirdest color of green. No, wait. What is actual squirt? What is the flavor of this?

Grapefruit. Grapefruit. Yeah. It's like a loud. It's not good. It's like another grapefruit I like. Maybe I like grapefruit. Jeez.

You might like grapefruit. Squirt is like a louder fresca. Yeah. Okay. Caffeine free grapefruit flavored carbonated soft drink created in 1938 in Phoenix. It feels very Phoenix. Yeah, it does. Phoenix, come tell us all about it in February.

I think it sprung naturally from the earth in Phoenix, Squirt. I like grapefruit. I drink grapefruit juice anyways. Me too. I love Squirt. One of the first things to also ever mix with booze though for oh yeah well because it's one of the big cancel out the taste of booze yeah it just tastes like squirt you can't taste the tequila you really can't i mean squirt will

dominate yeah in that situation it throws elbows you can't get to it you get squirt in the low post vodka has no juice that's true true. It was squirt in vodka too. That was like an early, early Vodka was the easiest to dilute where you're like, that's the easiest taste to get rid of. And it was the cheapest. You could get 100 ounces of Barnett's for $7. You get some pop-off. Man,

to be young. HRD? Yeah. You guys ever had Royal Gate? Royal Gate vodka? No. Does it just smell like absolute lighter fluid? They don't even sell it in glass. Did guys ever had Royal Gate? Royal Gate vodka? No. Does it just smell like absolute lighter fluid? It doesn't even sell it in glass. Did you ever run... HRD is the same way. You can only get that in plastic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever run it through the Brita water filter pitcher? That old trick where they're like, you can make... Oh, that. I've heard about that. Yeah, I've always heard about that. I don't know if it's psychosomatic or what, but it seems to work. Well, it's filtered, so I think it does make

sense. Seems to work. I never could bring myself to put that much effort in. I don't know why. It felt like it didn't fit the vibe, the movie that I was creating, so I just drank it out of the bottle. Vodka's a movie, bro. It's a movie, bro.

Sean, time for your... Oh, wait. No, I haven't made my fourth pick yet. I'm sorry. I already wrote it down, but I have not said it out loud. Dr. Brown's Dark Cherry Soda, a deli classic. There you go. Yeah. There you go.

You get yourself a corned beef sandwich. You got yourself a little bowl of pickles, and you got yourself a Dr. Brown's. So many delicious flavors, but I'm taking the dark cherry. It's a good one. Delicious. Just a beautiful soda. Beautiful on the go. Goes with a bagel. Goes with a sandwich. Classic soda too. Goes on its own.

And there's another doctor involved. You know what I mean? Pepper isn't the only guy with a practice in this town. Come on. Yeah. No, you have options. Get a second opinion. Yeah. Get a second opinion. Dr. Brown. I think Dr. Pepper isn't the only other options. Get a second opinion. Yeah. Get a second opinion, Dr. I think Dr. Pepper is the only other woman with a doctorate in this town. Yeah.

Oh my God. Oh, look at you. I think I said only one. The only one. You said man. The only guy you said. The only guy with a doctorate in this town. That's a guy for me. You insensitive piece of shit.

Bell Hooks would be furious. What's your favorite Bell Hooks book, Sean? In the sake of time, let's just keep it pushing. What's even your favorite thing about Bell Hooks? Just a thing. Anything about Bell Hooks. I was torn. She doesn't lie.

It's spelled B-E-L-L-E. So I was torn on my next pick. I don't know. It is not B-E-L-L-E. No, it's B-E-L-L-E. So I was torn on my next pick. I don't know. I didn't know where to go. It is not B-E-L-L-E. No, it's B-E-L-L. God damn it. He loves those capital letters. We knew I didn't know anything about it.

We knew I didn't know anything about Bell Hooks. No, I know. I was just fucking with you. That's not fair. That's my fault. It's actually Bill Hooks. It's a dude. Bill Hooks?

Yeah. It's actually Bill Hicks. Bell Hicks? Yeah, yeah. And he was the greatest stand-up ever. If it was on Twitter, it'd be Bell Hicks, I bet. Bill Hicks and Bell Hooks, that should be a bar of somebody's. Yeah, I want to see what it would be like if they hung out.

Those people, the fans of each of those groups should not be put in a contained room together. I don't know, I bet they cross more than you'd think. Bill Hicks, he's probably still got a pretty wild contingency of folks that are caping for him, right? Ride or dies, yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Ride or die.

Ride or die, die, die, die, die. Sean, time for your fourth pick. Really good. Thank you. Good stuff. I am staying in the fruit realm. Yeah, you are. Yeah, I'm going to turn it into a real health nut through this draft.

Staying in the fruit realm, and I'm going'm gonna go and this was another really tough one i'm going to go pineapple juritos oh oh yeah i get it i'm for it i'm for it juritos boy that was a strong reaction is it the pineapple or the juritos it's the pineapple ohapple. I like it. Sean, I'm with you 100%. Looking like an unhealthy piss. Oh no, dude. Pineapple. I don't know if it's just that the option is there at the food trucks, but like

for some reason, like a pineapple Doritos with what I end up getting at the food trucks, whatever it might be, like three street tacos, a big old burrito, whatever it is, it's just perfect. Music to my throat. Music to my throat. He just almost barked

when I said music to my throat. I didn't mean it to be disgusting, although it does sound disgusting. Throat's a gross word, man. Throat? Pineapple Doritos, baby. Nah. All day. All day.

Darn, that's off the board. It was a tough choice between the Doritos family. Sean, you're going to love my next pick. Well, David, what is that next pick? Cactus Cooler, baby. Oh! What's that? I love that shit.

Come on. It's so good. It's another pineapple flavored soda can. I didn't know there were so many. I think it's regional. I don't think they have it in the East. Do they have it in the Midwest even? I don't know.

Maybe like Omaha, Kansas City and stuff. But it's in that weird shape 20-ouncer. It's like a thick up top 20-ounce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 20-ouncer built like Gaston. Yeah, yes. It's got a barrel chest and 20-ouncer.

But it's orange and it's real dang. Isn't that so funny? Yeah, I used to... Man, that shit... It used to be... For me, it was like... I know we couldn't get... I feel like it was like a California thing.

I could be like, oh, we're going to California. We could get cactus cooler. That shit. Oof. I remember like, yeah, it is.

Cause again, on the coast, they just have all that shit before, way before we got it. So like going to San Diego and stuff back in the day, that was the first time we got like Red Bull, whoop ass. I think cactus cooler is probably one of those things.

Yeah. Yeah. That's fun, man. Shit's fire. Orange pineapple. Orange pineapple blast. You guys don't like pineapple juice at all, huh?

I like pineapple the food. Me too. And I would put it, I like a splash of pineapple juice in like a drink, but I don't drink pineapple soda. It's too, I don't know. It's too sweet. It's too tropical.

I don't know. I love it. Pineapple juices. Yeah, I don't know. I wish I don't know I wish that wasn't I wish that wasn't me as a person where were you on January 6th we were in the Bahamas I don't think she was

it's a syrupy I don't know it's a heavy sweet pineapple for me I like pineapple to be fresh it's not a fruit that I want to experience in a bottle. I'm with you on that. Man, well, more cactus cooler for me.

Katie, what would you like to experience in a bottle with your fourth and then your final picks? We got big ones left on the board. So I'm just going to take Coke with my next pick. Because a classic Coke is tasty. I think we take it for granted

because it really is just like a, you know, some places even just call soda Coke. Don't know if we've ever talked about that. But it's just like, it's, and I'm full sugar now. I'm back on the full sugar Cokes. She's on the hard stuff, y'all. Yeah, they're a lot.

You shouldn't drink more than one, but it is the superior of those two. In the Cola Wars, I was Team Coke and will remain Team Coke. I think the other team has a couple screws loose. A few bricks shy of a load, if you know what I mean. Nothing wrong with the other team. Oddly enough, they do feel like they would be on your squad, Sean. Not playing with a full deck, that other team. Nothing wrong with that other team. I don't trust these fucking polar bears. Yeah, the engine's running, but nobody's behind the wheel with that other team nothing wrong with that other team i don't trust these fucking polar bears yeah the engine's running but nobody's behind the wheel with that other team you know

coke is also something you can mix with booze and it doesn't really ruin the the the the taste like i like in the sense of like i can still drink a coke and not associate it with the alcohol i've mixed it with because i've mixed it with so many different alcohols it is true It's pretty true. Yeah. There is an alcohol we used to mix with Coke that has forbidden me from drinking one other flavor of Coke. There's a specific flavor of Coke. Is it vanilla Coke? I know what you're talking about. I cannot fuck with.

Of course it is. Because it tastes like Captain and Coke without the alcohol. And it's too much. Yeah. Everybody ruined that. I'm not into it everybody ruined that wretch right now thinking just the thought of it it's really bad first time i ever got like drunk drunk i was in whatever i drank uh southern comfort and coke and coke didn't lose a step

southern comfort i can't touch to this day but southern comfort is so bad soco didn't need the help either no that's what i used to think southern comfort was like a bougie again this 14 year old me in jackson hole wyoming with my cowboy cousin but it's like at the time i was like southern comfort you say like it's a big deal no man i remember southern comfort was the first booze you would hear about somebody drinking a whole bottle of that's what i did whole whole i couldn't do it now hear about somebody drinking a whole bottle of. That's what I did. Whole, whole. I couldn't do it now. Jay Ryder drank a whole bottle of Southern Comfort last night or SoCo. Yeah. All over a stranger's basement is what I did.

Strangers laminated floor ass basement. Anyway, floor ass basement. Yeah. Yeah. Coke's a shit. Katie and your final pick. Okay, so my final pick,

there's another big one on the board that I was going to take, but I'm going to give a shout out to a smaller, entirely unknown soda that I experienced once. Woman of the people. And will look for for the rest of my life. It's called Manzanita Soul.

No fucking way! Was that going to be your last pick? Get out of here! Of course that was going to be my last pick. So delicious. It's amazing. It is crazy that we don't have apple soda commonly in the United States because I. But I don't think Katie's picked it.

You didn't pick it. She did. I just did. I thought you said you were going to pick a bigger one, but this was a shout out. I got. No, no, no. There was a bigger one that I should take for the sake of looking at my draft, but I loved this. We were on vacation

and we asked what kind of soda they had and the woman said apple. And I was like, you have apple soda? And she was like, yeah. I'm like, let's try it. And Dan and I, for the rest of that vacation, just apple sodas by the pool. It's amazing. It's so good. It's so refreshing. It's very sweet. It was my go-to taqueria.

Like if I got a burrito at a taqueria, I get a manzanita sold too. That shit's so good. Can you get them anywhere? Can I get one? You can get them, I think, in like specialty stores and stuff. But they're not as common as they really should be because they're so good. And I've actually heard there's another apple soda that's better than this one. But I mean, this is the one i've interacted

with and it was life-changing damn that's crazy i really thought i could get that i was thinking about i would imagine that you would have thought i would take it there's no chance i would never i thought it was on nobody's radar i just remembered it during the draft i was like oh you gotta man you gotta manzanita soul it's that shit's that shit's a it. That shit can get me back on the soda. That shit's so good. Yeah, apple soda is really good. A real tasty treat. It's crazy. Sorry, David.

No, it's fine. Yeah, that was nuts. David, manzanita salt unavailable. What will your final pick be? Jolly Rancher watermelon. Is there a Jolly Rancher soda? Yeah, the watermelon one. When I was smoking the most weed

that I've ever smoked regularly in my entire life, it was... We had gone to Costco and got a case of Jolly Rancher soda. I remember just getting high as shit after work and cracking open a Jolly Rancher watermelon.

It was intense. There is. Yeah. I'm like, this is crazy. What other flavors do they have? Watermelon is the best. Jolly Rancher does have the best watermelon flavor of all the candy watermelon things.

So that, that adds up. But what other flavors do they have? It's like they got your cherry, your green apple and your berry, your blueberry. So that's the basic Jolly Rancher flavors. Man.

Yeah. That shit would be dank. That's wild. does it taste as sugary as you imagine it's gonna taste yeah but it also tastes exactly like if you just melted down jolly ranchers and mixed them with club soda like it tastes exactly like jolly like they might do that they actually might be able to make it. Yeah, it was crazy. It's just one ingredient they don't add to the vat and that's how they get the soda. Yeah, it just keeps it loose. We're getting

down to it here. Sean Jordan, time for your final pick. There's still some big boys on the board, though. I'm going to bookend it, baby. Baja Blast Mountain Dew. No, that's not the one. Yes, it is. That's not the one? Don't make me think crazy. That first one, I can't stand.

I love that. I almost took that. I'm not going to take it. You can't stand Code Red? Code Red, I hate it. That was the one. I don't like Code Red. I don't like Livewire. The truce is off. I got my blades out.

Yo, that was Code Red rules. That was the sort of thing that was the first one I ever as a kid and I was like, this is gross. I know.

Code Red is disgusting to me. Once every year I'll drink a Code Red and it's worth it. Fuck no. Okay, so Baja Blast. What's it supposed to be? What's Baja Blast?

Is it blue? It's blue. It was like tropical. It was like the Taco Bell or like It's turquoise, isn't it? Is it blue? It's blue. It was like tropical. It was like the Taco Bell. It's turquoise, isn't it? Yeah, whatever. It's green. It's of that hue.

But it's so good. All the other ones are good, but really, really novelty. Baja Blast, I can still drink a whole one. The other one's like voltage and shit. I can't do the whole thing. They came out with Mountain Dew Energy Code Red. I got to look that up. They got all kinds of Mountain Dew. They came out with Mountain Dew Energy, Code Red. I gotta look that up.

They got all kinds of Mountain Dew. They got breakfast Mountain Dews now. They call them amps. They call Mountain Dew amps. Oh, I just didn't know what I was saying. They try to sell you that it's a breakfast Mountain Dew and you're like, alright, bro. Cheese, eggs, and Mountain Dew amps.

So yeah, Baja Blazist. Sick. Baja what now? Blazist sick Baja what now Blazist alright yeah okay here final pick okay I gotta go I just

went a cherry so this is an insane thing for me to do nope do it and I've only had this once I know what you're gonna do do. This is partially for me and this is partially for the devoted body of fans that it has out there in the world, including one, Shaka Saman, who exposed me to this

drink. And probably Zach. A man who briefly, and probably Zach as well, taking a cheer wine. Yeah, Zach's cheer wine. I just saw that in the store yesterday. You were going to say Vimto. That's all our African listeners. Oh, no.

It is Vimto? Cheerwine, I think, is primarily in the South. It is so sweet, it'll knock your teeth right out of your mouth. Your dentist should send a case to every patient on Christmas. The store around my house sells tiny cans of it.

And that is more than enough, but it is fucking good. Oh yeah. So sweet on a hot day. It also looks like it'd be good to mix with like some sparkling water just to cut it a little bit. A cheer wine, dude.

I tried it. I loved it. I get where you people are coming from and I want you to know. Carm sees you. You get, you get them in the bottle I want you to know karma sees you. You get them in the bottle too. They're real dang good in the bottle. Yeah. A little cheer wine.

I've never had cheer wine. It's good. Do yourself a little favor. On one of these hot days, get yourself a little cheer wine. Maybe a sandwich. Love it. And that wraps up our soda draft.

Katie Nolan, you went first. You took Dr. Pepper, Sunkissed Orange, Fresca, Coca-Cola, and Manzanita Soul. David, you went second. You took Dr. Pepper, Sunkist Orange, Fresca, Coca-Cola, and Manzanita Soul. David, you went second. You took Cherry Coke,

IBC Cream Soda, Werner's Ginger Ale, the Cactus Cooler, and the Jolly Rancher Watermelon Soda. Sean, you went third. You took Mountain Dew, Barks Root Beer, Welch's Grape Soda,

Pineapple Doritos, and a Baja Blast Mountain Dew. I went last. I took Diet Coke, 7-Up, Squirt, Dr. Brown's Dark Cherry, and Cheerwine. Isaac, what did we miss? What's your pick?

My pick is a drink that is mostly drunk in Brazil called Guarana Antarctica. It is the greatest, it is the best soda I've ever had in my life. I briefly dated a Brazilian girl back in the day, and she introduced me to it.

You sound very brief. I'm just saying. No, and it was life-changing. I love this shit so much. Guaraná Antarctica. It's light with a twist of mystery, is what it says. Got a drink to tell.

It is a crazy flavor. It is. It's a wild. I had one when I was. In Brazil, yeah. It's like. Oh, Guarana Antarctica. Yeah.

You were really pronouncing the fuck out of that. Guarana Antarctica. I speak a little Portuguese. Oh, okay. Joao, that's impressive. That's my Portuguese impression Joao What does it taste like?

You gotta drink to tell It's very unique Peculiar taste What family is it? I think it's it's own family Because it originates in South America Give me something to go off Oh it's guarana.

It's like between apple and berry. It's like between, right in between. Kind of. What was that guarana soda we had? Yeah, it's in a lot of energy drinks. It was a jaguar on it. Do you remember that? Yeah.

American guarana soda? I think it was called jaguar. Yeah, you're right. I think it's like natural caffeine. Is it not? It's like coffee related. It's a different thing from caffeine, but similar effects.

Yes. Oh, you can get yourself some Antarctica on Amazon there. Uh-huh. Wow. And I have. Wow. Interesting. Not only are you charming and handsome,

you're also worldly and intelligent. We learn something new from you every time you chime in and we appreciate it thank you so much Ian that's very nice of you well we want to hear from our also worldly and intelligent listeners hit us up at allfantasypod on twitter allfantasypodcast at gmail.com

shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon where you can get live episodes mail bags, auction drafts, exclusive video content, merchandise, and of course Isaac's very tasteful nudes.

With a bottle of Guarana. With a bottle of Guarana. There's that one where you did sort of a erotic reproduction of the famous Cindy Crawford soda commercial. I think it was a Pepsi. Can't remember exactly what. Yeah, that's all it took.

Pepsi, undrafted, by the way. How about that? Yeah, that's fair. Is Pepsi okay? Not on this podcast, apparently. Shout out to everyone on the AFE slash the AFE subreddit, the AFE Air Force, the AFE Navy.

Shout out to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shaklackity! that was a hate gun podcast