All Fantasy Everything - Songs You'd Bring Back in Time (w/ Zach Harper, Zak Toscani, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

It's your cousin Marvin, Marvin Fantasy Everything! You gotta hear this! On this episode, Zak Toscani, Zach Harper, Sean and Ian draft songs you'd travel back in time to steal.Episode Guests:Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoopsZak Toscani IG: @zaktoscaniSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, it's a battle of the Zacks. We're joined by NBA writer for The Athletic, Zach Harper, and stand-up comedian, Zach Toscani, to draft songs you'd bring back in time. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, is my friend and comedian, Sean Jordan.

David Borey is currently in Bolivia. Let's get everything the podcast that david is currently in bolivia yeah man he and when he said he was going you know we told him not to well i tried that was the first time I'd heard about Bolivia. Me, personally, as a person. I'd never heard of it before. It didn't sound inviting when he said he was going there, though. I said, you're going to Olivia.

Who's Olivia? We're not on a first-name basis, but apparently it's a South American country, and that's where he is. I thought the Fated Bolivia was an interesting expansion after Denver denver but you know yeah it's not my company it's not my show i get it yeah he has a lot of wild ideas that end up working out in the end so i'm sure it's going to be great he does yeah he does he really does well i wish him luck um i wouldn't know how to get a hold of him in bolivia i don't know if they have i don't know what they do mail phones i don't i don't have internet of some sort, but yeah, I wish him, I wish him well.

He'll return one of these days. I definitely don't go to Bolivia and use a satellite phone while I'm buying rare animals. That's just the thing I don't do. No, no, no. I don't get DVDs. They don't make anymore. That's why would I even, I'd go to Best Buy. No, I wouldn't even know where to find toads in Bolivia.

Like how you even Google search that doesn't make any where to find toads in bolivia like i do like how you even google search that doesn't make any sense to me that's a that's a that's a crazy thing there's no i would like what a hotel in an active volcano in bolivia what is that no gucci garbage bags i've heard i've heard about them but i don't know where to get them you know the only landlocked the only landlocked international waters what's that that's in bolivia i mean that's a shock to me i'm finding that out the same time you are well we're gonna save it he'll know when he gets back the other podcast that it is is the one where the ac stopped working last night right on the verge of a what is it a heat bubble is what they're calling it

these yahoo scientists is that what they're called i don't know i think it's a heat dome a heat dome that's what it is they changed it from wave it's called know i think it's a heat dome a heat dome that's what it is they changed it from wave it's called a heat well it's a heat wave but it's caused by a heat dome dude a heat dome yeah it sucks whatever it is it ain't dank one air conditioner enters no air conditioner leaves of the jordan household yeah it went out and uh it's funny laura like i wouldn't have known for a while but but we got up, and Laura, just like a prairie dog, her ears just went up. And I was like, what's up? And she goes, the air is different.

I was like, no way. Straight up. And she went over to the thermostat, and she goes, it's 75 in here. It's supposed to be 72. And I was like, well, bummer. Wow. That's when she noticed a team of assassins surrounding the home. And then they all came in through the windows and I find out she's Mrs.

Smith. Wow. She can change. She can tell a three, a three degree change in temperature. Like something happens when you give birth, man. I don't know what it is,

but I was there. I was courtside and it's whatever power she got. She earned. I'll tell you that you were, you, you're on no sleep right now. I feel like the listeners should know that Sean Jordan is like Allen Iverson

in an Eastern Conference Finals game right now. It's that, so I laid down and you know how where you're like, boy, I didn't sleep, but you're like, maybe you did, but I don't think I did. I laid there, which like charges the battery, but I don't think I slept.

I don't know. That's kind of like what daytimes are for right now. For sleeping? Kind of. You have to force yourself to sleep. They tell you that. They're like, sleep when the kid does. And you're like, I'll fucking sleep at night.

Come on. And then a couple weeks in, you're like, ah, I guess when she goes to bed. Last night, she went to bed at 8.30, and I was like, let's shut her down. Let's try to go to sleep at 8.30, broad daylight. Absolutely. Didn't happen, but we tried. And then anyway, so. She's up late playing NCAA college football 14, right?

That's what she's mostly up doing. Well, she just, I shouldn't have done it, but I showed her draft day, like a couple days in. And so now she's a big Costner head. So she's killing me to watch Bull Durham. And I was like, they talk about sex. Not yet. So I'm going to show her Robin Hood and probably the bodyguard for the soundtrack specifically.

Did she work her way through Yellowstone yet? Follow up question. Have you worked your way through Yellowstone yet? I am in the middle. Why haven't you watched that? I feel like you'd love it. I'm in the middle of Big Sky. I'll stop you right there.

I'm in the middle of Big Sky and Yellowstone. This is what's going on. You get the first episode for free and then they stick it to you. They make you pay for them. I won't be having that. What's it on? Paramount Plus. Paramount Plus.

Just use mine. Well, I forgot to cancel it a while ago. You can use mine. Oh, tight. There it is. I might take you up on that because I should actually get Paramount Plus because it's the CBS app where you can find all the episodes of the late like Joe James Corden. That's all I have it for. It's for Jamesames he's a corden head you like her guard the

bassist more than anything oh my god love me some bass you know you know what you'll notice when you're about to have a kid is how many storylines are you doing stand-up yeah you have airplane airplane peanuts dude every fucking show has a storyline about a miscarriage and you don't notice it until until you're right in the thick of it i had to stop watching virgin river i had to stop watching the oc i had to stop watching uh er because all these shows we started them because we finished graze we started them and then you get in and they're like well clearly this girl's gonna lose this baby that's what's gonna happen and then it's just like, well, shut it down. So I started those three shows off the top.

You turn off VR like, wait a minute. There's a medical emergency. I don't watch this for that. I went outside and beat up a homeless person. I was like, I won't be having this. Well, now that you have a child who has been born, do you think you could go back to that and not be freaked out about it?

Well, now I watch this show called The Miscarriage Chronicles. It's on A&E. No, I don't really. Yeah, I can go do it now. But now I don't want to watch it. I just want to sleep, man. I'm telling you. I just want to go to bed.

Watch True Crime, and then you can see A Miscarriage of Justice. There it is. There it is. There he goes. There it is. The bagel's There he goes. There it is. The bagel's finally kicking in. I'm getting some thoughts.

He's a fucking artist. A man can be an artist in anything. Bagels. Pickles. Zach's art is a miscarriage of justice pen. Pun. And he's about to... I got distracted thinking about bagels.

I did stand up last night for the first time in 16 months oh i was rusty i was like killed just absolutely killed i got i like i didn't get to my peaks but i got to like a seven or eight a couple times but i also got to like a one or a two a couple of times and i haven't been in a one or a two on stage in years and years and years did you do the uh did you do the well you know new jokes dot it did you did you blame it on the jokes oh i said i said one for me after one of them i i to be fair like three motorcycles pulled up to the it was an outdoor show and three like harley's pulled up in the middle of like the beginning of an impression yeah and i just had to chuck the whole joke after that because i was like i can't go back into a david attenborough impression well you were doing an impression of a dirt bike and then the harleys

pulled up and you're like well damn it and there weren't there weren't even people on the motorcycles the motorcycles just pulled up by themselves ghost harleys dude quarantine changed everything it's different i've heard oh boy i'm good though man it's good it was fun yeah it's well it was everything it was fun it was horrifying you know a good feeling i bet were you trying were you doing material that you had done before pandemic or were you trying out all new stuff it was a little it was one from column a and one from column b i was i like had some tried and true stuff to use but then the other the thing that's almost fucking

me up more than the 16 months is the 180 pounds where i'm like which is good because now i like got laughs and i'm like okay i'm still because i know and like everyone's like you're still gonna be funny and i know i'm still gonna be funny but there is a weird thing where i'm like what was that and i don't think this but i'm like was it a fat funny like was i was i funny because i was fat you know what i mean funny people when in funny people when jonah hill's talking to seth rogan and they're just talking about stand-up he goes shouldn't have lost all that weight man nobody wants to see a physically fit person do comedy it's very funny because you're like i you know you get scared it's like i stopped i quit drinking a little bit and i was like is this gonna make me

less funny and it's like no i mean it just it's not how it goes but you think it's going to so i get it it was such a dramatic shift it was weird but seanis jordan is here sean cougar mel jordan on instagram what's up boy sean sean sean roxane gay forgot your handle when she tweeted about the podcast jordan it happens um i'm every time i'm just like it's an extremely successful show that i'm a part of and that's all i i love it i'm thrilled i was so pumped i showed laura a picture of roxanne and i was i i gave her some background on roxanne and i go we we sat and talked about fast and furious Furious with her for two hours. And it was her idea. Author of Bad Feminist, Hunger, and many other important tomes.

I think she went looking for Sean Patrick Jordan because she knows what your actual name is. Yeah, and she found Sean's Jordan was my intention. Was it Sean's Jordan? That's what it was tagged? No, it was Sean Jordan. But my Twitter handle is Sean S. Jordan. In my mind, I was like handle Sean S Jordan in my mind I was like Sean's Jordan that'll make

it's so stupid Sean Jordan was taken all versions that I wanted were taken nothing with a 187 it couldn't work none of it could work so I just yeah ridiculous oh that's funny

yeah I got nothing coming up man I don't think there you go be hanging out with you um yeah yeah i think that's it by the time this comes out i will have come and gone probably but i will just be leaving but yeah fuck yeah i can't wait i'm gonna meet your baby dude i'm gonna i'm gonna give her a little yarmulke yeah yeah well she's gonna have to say she's gonna be yarmulke lasagna because she's already got like five or six you're gonna serve her papers you're like are you maxine jordan you've been served yeah you've been served i'm taking off on a razor scooter i'm gonna have a ramp set up just jump the ramp and go

i'm gone dude you don't see me the rest of the trip like a cereal commercial just kick your feet up to the side you know what's gonna happen dude is i'm gonna say i'm gonna like schedule a meeting i'm gonna be like uh do bring bring maxine to this coffee shop i'll be there i'll get i'll get your coffee and uh i'm just gonna be at the yellow table and uh you'll show up you'll see your coffee, my coffee. You're holding Maxine. You're sitting there. You hear the bathroom door open.

And then some footsteps. And then you look behind you. And it's me, dude. But I'm dressed like the Joker. Oh, that'd be twisted. And then I look down and it's not coffee. It's, what is it? It's purple milk.

I don't know what it is. It's bro it's twisted shit dude and then while i'm looking at you i look back down at max all of a sudden her face is painted like the joker look you look back down you're just holding that joker poster for a bad for the dark night yeah and she's got like a super long bottle nipple or something instead of a revolver it's just why so caffeinated it's gonna be twisted that's all i'm saying i can't it's about to be it's gonna be 115 degrees on sunday for you so here's so they fixed that they fixed the ac and the dude said this is some this is some shit he said that ac is only designed to cool off 20 degrees from the outside

temperature so normally you don't really notice because if it's like 100 you can technically have your ac at like 75 and it's not gonna break the bank but when it's 115 they suggest that you have it very high like 85 you know just so it doesn't work too hard so anyway it'll be interesting because it's not just this it's like that's the city man like that's a lot of shit you should legit i've been looking up ways to like counteract that you should like freeze gallons of water and stuff like that you can put like buckets of water with a fan behind it and that kind of makes like a ac oh stuff like that i will freeze freeze some rags and stuff like that so you can put them around your neck or like put it around i don't know if maxine's neck i don't know baby shit but growing up uh well that will turn her into mr freeze that's science

yeah that's pretty twisted yeah step one of eight turning into the joker put a rag on your neck yeah her first words will just be like stay cool like something like that you know like i think that would that would be the i grew up without uh central heat and air for for my entire childhood and so like sacramento can get pretty damn hot you can get like 110 or whatever and so i lived a life of a box fan and a spray bottle and you just spray it into the fan and it would blow back mist onto you that was a lot of summers right there was just gatorade you're just like yeah i need these electrolytes mom and dad like that's what i need and then when i moved out when i moved out they got central heat and air and

i thought wow that's it's not child abuse, but it's not, not child abuse. Like that. Yeah. That was like, it's psychological warfare. At least.

Yeah. Those two, those two monsters. I call parents. Oh my God. By the way, uh, I'm,

I hung out the other night with the Harpers. It was dank. It was, uh, your dad's birthday the other day, wasn't it? Uh, April.

Yeah, that was the other day. He didn't say which other day. We're recording this in early May, just so everyone's aware. And I have a bold prediction. Western Conference Finals, Suns Clippers. What? I'm taking it to the bank right now. That's what I think is going to happen.

You're out of your mind. You know what? I'll bet you a million dollars. How about that? Chris Paul making the Western Conference Finals with the Suns i see that here's what here's the thing he won't be there for the first couple games they're doing it without him wow yeah that's another prediction why is he not playing uh he's getting a full-back joke attack dude he's another one he's gonna get he's gonna get covet even though he's vaccinated he's gonna be one of those guys it's crazy it's crazy but that that is my prediction and zach uh i i'll take you up on

them harper i'll take you up on that million dollar bet but i'll bet you in return that the hawks won't make it to the eastern conference finals oh okay so the little double or nothing action yeah yeah a million back you're going nuts dude you just stand up you just stand up one time in two months one time and you're going crazy and i fucking fly off the handle and i put some lip balm on dude zach harper is here at talk hoops on twitter hey at talk hoops on instagram yeah at talk hoops when when he's speaking of basketball matters that's true well you got a big earring podcast that you right talk hoops that's what it is It's just nothing but big hoop earrings.

Yeah, I do it with Jennifer Lopez and Rosie Perez. That'd be so sick. All we do is talk hoop earrings. Rosie Perez is actually my favorite boxing analyst. I don't know if you guys have ever listened to her talk boxing, but she is legit. Like, she's on the Dan Levitard show every time there's a big boxing match. And so, like, she knows everything. Like, she can break down anybody. Yeah, she's on the dan levitard show every every time there's a big boxing match and so um like she knows everything like she can break down anybody yeah she's fantastic

so yeah rosie perez we just talk boxing and hoop earrings that's fucking amazing i had no idea that you guys just had t-boss on right just had t-boss on right yeah 100 tlc i guess it should be tc is going on tour with Bone. They're going on tour with Bone. Someone sent me the link last night. Unfortunately, I'm going to miss Sioux Falls and Portland, so I might have to go to San Diego. Just Bone, not Thugs and or Harmony? Oh, yes.

They're going on tour with Bone, Thugs, and Harmony. Oh, all of them. Yeah, all of them. TC, Bone, Thugs, and Harmony. Got it. How do they do it without Left Eye? Do you think they rap her parts, or do you think they play it on a screen? I don't know.

You would think they would play... You would think they wouldn't try to do it. I hope they have her do it on a screen or something, or just at least play the audio. And maybe drop the music a little bit so the audience can get in. Yeah, do the whole thing. They can kind of join along but you don't she had such a specific like sound with her flow

it sure ain't chili doing it i'll tell you that that ain't that ain't no no get off me what's this chili beef is this like your mom's i i like hall no oats for me but sean jordan says oh i like t-boss don't talk to me about chili beef i don't have any chili beef i'm just saying she can't chili beef i think you got beef chili dude she's not a rapper man i'm a listen i laid down a track i know what it's like to be in the game did you two know this zacks by the way my rap is done well it's getting finalized i did hear that yeah what's i also heard that you go to tlc shows with an eye patch so you don't have to watch chili yeah i heard that it's not an eye patch so much it is is a big condom that i put over my my eye it does cover the eye all the same i don't have any chili

well i i heard they got the term heat dome from when you were rapping when you were laying down the tracks that's where they got heat from yeah could be man who's to say you know i don't i don't i don't read internet i don't read stuff about myself on the internet. It's not what I do. It's not how I live my life. I don't read internet. I don't read internet. I don't read books.

I don't read subtitles. I don't read internet. I don't watch internet. I don't surf the web. I don't surf the web. Why does the web surfs me? Should I just make a song called I Don't Read and just really get it done?

I thought Heat Dome was when somebody took a sip of some hot tea and then gave you a blow job. Let's move on. Zach Harbert, do you have anything to promote? I do. You know, subscribe to The Athletic if you want to read some very good stories about the world of sports and culture. I just did it the other day, and I feel like that was a turning point in my life. It was a, there's going to be a before the subscription of The Athletic and an after. My life is so much richer now.

Flowers smell prettier. I feel like I tasted cake for the first time after that. You hated flowers before this. Like, you hated flowers. I hated flowers. Hated. I would scream. He hated flowers like you hate chili. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And TLC. No, man, so you stop. You stop, man. I'll come down to LA. All three of you in LA, I'll come down there. Ain't no thing. Come down. Ain't no thing to me.. You stop. You stop, man. I'll come down to LA. All three of you in LA. I'll come down there.

Ain't no thing. Come down. Ain't no thing to me. Come down and wrestle me. I'll come down there. Yeah. Yeah. Come on down to our glorious, just, it's like 75, 80.

Ooh, it's perfect outside. It's perfect. It sounds so dank. Just babies sleeping all the time down here. Oh, my God. I can't move for sleeping babies in LA. Oh, I'll start crying. That's all they do is sleep in la oh i'll start crying do

sleep i'll start doing the first bad cry that i've ever had on this show you guys keep it up it'll be the first like it'll be the first beat down cry that i've ever had on this show uh yeah so subscribe to the athletic if i may promote uh this is awkward is it there's another podcast out on the internet no no zach uh toscani's here too hi yeah good to see you guys good to see you too good to see you too yeah no podcast for me i'm not right that's awesome dude thank you is that a ninja turtles coffee mug it is nice yeah that's that's real dang look all right you can promote the podcast can i have it i just had a kid yeah you can have it i'm gonna send this right to you give me your podcast. Oh man, can I have it? I just had a kid. Yeah, you can have it.

I'm going to send this right to you. Give me your address and I'll send it right to you. You got to do that everywhere. Oh, can I have that? I just had a kid. My dad did that. I love my dad so much. My dad was visiting me when I was living in Salt Lake City.

And so the Timberwolves were in town. And Dave Benz and Jim Peterson are the broadcast team for the Timberwolves are also happen to be friends of mine. And so I thought like, Oh, this would be cool. I'll like introduce my dad to the play by play. That'll make me look like a,

like a, you know, a big deal and everything. And so I bring my dad down, uh, before the game and he, I introduced him to Dave Benz and they, and my,

and Dave and like everyone on the Timberwolves is wearing this like flip S sonder like this in memory of flip saunders like pen pen button thing on his jacket and my dad looks like oh my god that's so cool dave's like yeah it's for flip saunders passed away and my dad's like oh can i get one i'm like dad oh yeah i was like i was like don't i was like dave don't answer that question like please like it was so it felt so inappropriate i love it go get it but it was so genuine he just like he was like so moved, don't answer that question. Please. It felt so inappropriate. I love it. Go get it. But it was so genuine. He was so moved. He was like, oh, my God, I got to get one of those.

I was like, no, we can't do this. I would have liked it more if he asked directly for Dave's. Let me have that. Yeah, just let me get that one. You can get another one. Give it to me. And as your dad is taking it, he's doing play-by-play, and Mr. Harper reaches in.

Oh, it's a clean slip. You can see it in his eyes he needs this bang i was telling laura the other day we're watching jeopardy and zach tiscani was talking a while he was like what if i treated sex like alex trebek treats the end of jeopardy and just the like when you're getting close you go and less than a minute now i just picture looking into some girl's eyes and be like and less than a minute now but like oh no sorry i control the board what is regret john you're i made i I made it through the first two rounds of the Jeopardy auditions and now have just one round left. No way. Oh, shit.

Whoa. Nice. I knew it, dude. I've been saying for years. For real, for years you could be on the show. I'm afraid because they ask like, do you or anyone you know? And then they have work for a list of companies and one of them on there is CBS. They have all the networks.

So I'm worried that I will be hamstrung by my affiliation so quit i might i honestly it's like be on jeopardy or i don't work for cbs i'm doing all right quit bro no i'm kidding don't quit don't quit uh no i know you don't have to tell me you're kidding i hate that shit when someone, and they're like, I'm just joking. I go, I know that. I cracked that code. I was able to decipher that. He is not doing well, man.

He quit that job, and we all thought it was a joke, but I guess he didn't say just kidding, so he had to do it. He went on Jeopardy. He actually owes money to Jeopardy. He was terrible terrible he did bad minus 32 000 or something like this just he was texting the whole time it must have been really important he was texting asking for the answer the first stage of the quiz is a is is a it's

just a computer thing that you type in the answers the second one one, they put you on zoom and then take another quiz. So they make sure you're not like getting help from anyone else. And the third round that I'm going to do on Tuesday is a, like a mock game where you go on zoom with like other people and play like a mock game of jeopardy. We know if you get past that, there's the fourth round that they call swordfish where you get a knobber and then someone holds a gun to your head.

John Travolta is in the room and they're like see you answer these questions now i've always loved that part of the movie because the idea of like i have a gun to your head you have 60 seconds to crack something that isn't crackable and like that's enough pressure for me and then it's like what if you're what if you're getting a blow job while it happens i'm like i mean so if that's the way i die yeah yeah not ideal but i'll tell you not much happening down there if i got a gun to my head i'll be honest like she'll be it'll be more for her than yeah if you had a gun to my head and asked me to crack a website i would just watch born for 60 seconds before you shot me yeah i gotta i gotta be honest sean that's the only way to get me going down there is to have a gun to my head like it's just you know we. Yeah. I gotta be honest, Sean. That's the only way to get me going down there

is to have a gun to my head. Like it's just, you know, we all have our kinks. I would just Google image Joker face and then after they'd shoot me and then it'd be the Joker face on the computer. I'd be like, what's up, bro? Your move.

One final victory for old Sean E. I feel like that swordfish scene was one of the last great cocaine decisions in Hollywood. Where they're like, no, dude, this happened to me at a party one time. We got to put it in there. All right, man. Are you sure? Jerry Brockheimer.

I'm sure. Good old Skip Woods, I believe, wrote that movie. How? It sounds like the name. Yeah. How do I know that, Sean? Is that what you're asking? I know that because of the other podcast, Cinephobe, in which we've done.

This man is a fucking transition king we've done the movie swordfish and cinephobe is the movie podcast where myself amin al-hassan and anthony mays we watch poorly rated movies on rotten tomatoes and we try to ascertain whether or not they're properly poorly rated or maybe they didn't get a fair shake and that's cinephobe wherever you find podcasts i say an ascertain is a risky move anytime but no one sean jordan got no sleep last night i thought you said aspartame aspartame yeah ascertain is zach's third podcast uh so yeah listen to listen to cinephobe yeah on what network is it on uh it's uh it's uh on the count the dings network my company i co-founded the old count the dings network yeah i thought that might have been the case but i didn't say it because i'm rude and crude with a nasty tune yeah you are i want to get you that t-shirt with bart simpson on it on vacation in baton rouge

i'll wear it to anyone's wedding you just named the wedding i'll wear it zach tuscani is here fucking too hot for twitter too hot but still absolutely delightful on instagram under zach tuscani that's zach with a k tuscani with a flourish yes sir yeah thanks for having me good to to be here. Of course. I'm excited. Returning hero of the All Fantasy Everything realm. Oh, yeah. Wearing some... Are those pink headphones, dude? Those are beautiful.

These are my roommates. Yeah, they're these rose gold headphones. Those are great. Yeah. Very nice. Pretty sure my mom got herself a rose gold iPhone. Nothing to do with nothing. Just letting you know.

When are you getting to Rip City, Zach? iPhone. Nothing to do with nothing. Just letting you know. When are you getting to Rip City, Zach? So I will be in Portland from July 15th through August 23rd. It's like in a residency, you know? I'm like Prince. I'm going to be

doing four shows a night. But I am going to be doing some private house shows in Portland. So if you would like me to perform at your house fucking email me god damn it or get on my website zach tuscani message me let's get it going you know if you'll have me i might even drop in on a couple of those with i would i would love that i would love anyone who's in town to get asked you, Ian. Trying to get some material together, you see.

Trying to get some material together. Sean, you'll have to get some sleep. I wouldn't. You're going to have to confirm that you got seven hours of sleep before. I'm funnier with no sleep. I'll tell you that. I may not be funner to chill with, but funnier, I think. Okay.

I think. I think I might be a bit of a pill so we'll all be in portland you're gonna come to portland i'm i'm coming to portland end of july early early august hell yeah i too will be well as of the release of this i mean this podcast by the time it's released i think we will have announced the not only the live all fantasy everything's august 14th oh and mississippi, but also stand-up shows on the roof of Revolution Hall on August 12th. 12th. 12th.

12th. 12th. August 12th. 12th? Yeah, we'll... 12th. August 14th, you say? August 14th, two live All Fantasy everythings, cooking in the kitchen.

I'll be done with Las Vegas Summer League on the 10th. I got a little free time after that. I guarantee that the other Harpers are going to be there, so you might as well drag your punk ass up. Yeah, see if they'll get me a ticket. But then on August 12th... 12th. 12th.

12th. 12 footer. 12 footer. 12 footer. I will be doing shows on the roof of Revolution Hall. And I don't know. Maybe there'll be some special guests. Maybe there'll be some special guests. Some of your favorites.

Parachuting in, probably. Parachuting into the roof. And if they land on the roof, they get to perform. Dangling from a helicopter. That wouldn't be so dang. Those tickets, both the live All Fantasy Everythings and the tickets to my show will have gone pre-released on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. They may be sold out by the time they hit general pop. I don't know.

I have no idea. Hopefully not. Hopefully you can still cop it if you're not on the Patreon. But that's where they're going up for pre-sale and will have been by the time this comes out. Zach, anything else you want to hit the people to? Follow me on Instagram. I'm probably not going to go back on Twitter anytime soon. So if you like me, if you think I'm funny, follow me on Instagram.

That's all I got. What about if I watch your body and I think you're sexy? Follow me on Instagram. Yeah. Come on, Joe. Let them know. I mean, that's probably the only place where you would sexy follow me on instagram yeah come on let him know i mean i do i mean that's probably the only place where you would see my body on the internet but you don't have to read to see that what a bold set of lyrics if you want my body and you think i'm sexy come on

sugar let me know yeah rod stewart dude he had that soccer bod rod the bod man and rod we trust you ever seen that oh it's so dick anyway zach my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish letterboxd where you can review films made by jews which is all of them so it's pretty much the same as regular letterboxd uh i said it the other day what am i doing oh go ahead what do you do well carmel oh by the way carmel dropped us off a present the other day on the porch she did i was so bummed i was i was gone but she dropped off the porch she goes i'm just gonna drop this off and i go well say what's up i mean if i'm here i want to see you and then

uh i wasn't here uh but she was like i just dropped on the porch anyway um thank little dress i'm stoked to get little max up in it and uh a little bow so cute bow for the hair but um i can't remember how i said it something about the carmels and laura i don't know i can't remember the context but i was like jew that one and i just because you say it all the time and it felt really felt weird to do as we as a weird was it all around her family well i'm uncomfortable to hear just now i gotta tell you this is get your dad on the horn let me let me get some opinions out there there is a there is an at best complicated relationship between goyim saying identifying

people as jews unprompted but i think for you it's coming from the right place. It's a hard W. It's a complicated relationship. I don't know why this, maybe because I'm tired. It just reminded me of this one time. I can't remember what you were explaining or whatever, but you told somebody they were demonstrating a Luddite's view of something. It really struck me as funny. I think it was Shane. Probably Shane.

Shane Torres demonstrating a Luddite's view of whatever subject. shane probably shane we're like shane torres demonstrating a luddite's view of whatever subject and the stuff that sticks the stuff that sticks to you like sticks to your ribs on a podcast is so funny to think about like i couldn't remember most of the pics that we've ever made but little tiny little things like that just the word luddite i was like yeah it's yeah if someone called you a luddite i feel like i get so mad and i'd be like i don't know what the fuck you're talking about it's like you can use every other curse word at me and i'd be like sure you're upset you're just frustrated but if you pulled if you like in another car you're like you what i i am following you home yeah what i took big shark swimming in cool waters you don't want that if you if you

if you call me a luddite i would look down to my hands and there would be lit dynamite in my hands what i had judge asked you what happened you're like i don't i really don't know i really don't know i heard the word and the next thing i do the building was blown up the joker took over man i had no idea i was wearing a nurse's outfit i was stumbling away from a blown-up hospital you want to know how i got these scars he called me a luddite oh you're actually really reasonable joker yeah yeah joker's pretty cool joker's like a regular look i mean what do you expect the judge is like yeah it's like getting spit on i'm with you i get it i get it yeah i'd have done the same thing now we are gathering here today not to spit or get spit on or to speculate on what david's doing in bolivia which is where he is and why he's done on the podcast david bory is in bolivia uh we are gathered here today to draft songs you would bring back in time i call i refer to him as marvin berries and marissa

a competent and talented producer said ian people aren't gonna know what that means marvin berry it's your cousin marvin berry after every every pick, we have to do our best to give that version of what it would be. You know what I mean? We should absolutely do that. Yeah. But just an early podcast shout out to Marissa for reminding me that not everyone lives in my own brain. It's basically a song you would take back and take credit for that you invented, kind

of. Yeah, Zach, it was your idea. Do you want to kind of explain it? Yeah, I was, it just basically, anytime I watch Back to the Future and it gets to the part where he does, oh, Jesus, what is the song? Johnny B. Goode.

You know, I always was like, well, if I went back in time, what song would I claim credit for? So that's basically where it came from. And you nailed it. Songs you'd go back in time and steal from. Man, I'm going to get amazing. Not everyone's going to love my ideas.

I'm going to be a radical back in the day. You know, they're going to look at me like, oh, I don't know if that's going to be successful. And I like, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I just think it's going to be weird when you bring back five different Insane Clown Posse songs. It's like nothing weird about it. And people would have been like oh he's he's been dude weird is a state of mind man you need to wake up with some mountain dew bro you need

to flip a joker you need to flip that joker card over and take a hard look at yourself dude twist you're twisted too early bro twisted too early now the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the three of you and we throw on shoot here we go rock. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, all scissors. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Zach. Oh, Zach wins.

Zach stuck with scissors. Yes. Zach Harper and Sean Jordan went with paper. Toscani wins. Zach Toscani as the winner. It is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I will remind you. It is a serpentine draft.

What is that? Yeah, what is it? That's a great question. Both both look at how long my arm looks real quick you see that that's your arm yeah isn't that wild look at that you are tired not for nothing but i know this is an audio i know it's an audio medium but you're just like holy god look at that. Marissa's right. You are tired. But seriously. I guess it is pretty nuts. Yeah, it's nuts, right? Your arm does look mad long. Anyway.

If anyone wants to experience what we're doing, join a Zoom and just put your arm towards the camera. Marissa, can you take a picture? We can tweet about it. But your arm's just like, my arm looks fake. It looks like- Zach went double. Look at Harper.

Yeah, I'll upload this as a video pre-roll for the Patreon. Harper looks at... Look at that, man. It's wild. Look at this hand come down. Oh, my God. So basically what it means is if you pick four in the first round, you pick first in the second round.

Sure. Yeah. I had one. I had one. Glad you know. I believe you had one. Tiscani, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? Order of the draft is going to be Harper, Sean, me, Ian.

Cool. Harper, Sean, Tiscani, Ian. Harper. There it is. Harper, Sean, me, Ian. Cool. Harper, Sean, Descani, Ian. Harper. There it is. Harper, Sean, me, Ian. Zach. Harper, Sean. So Zach Harper, you have the first pick in the Marvin Barry's All Fantasy Everything draft.

And we will get to that pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. It might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's,

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our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-e-l dot com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply and we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed other than of course cinephobe on the count the things network that's the other one but that's it as far as media goes it's those two things and tuscany's instagram and that's it that's what you got now zach harper it is time for your first pick and the marvin barry's all fantasy everything graft it's tough because i i really didn't want to go first um well tough shit dude sorry we asked you to be on the podcast

god cry me a river dick face what we call a little zach on zach crime you know hey what is it, Zach History Month? There's a lot to unzack here. I've thought about this a lot over the last two days. Not two days. You told me yesterday. I've thought about this over the last day. I think I want to own a holiday. So I'm going to go.

All I want for Christmas is you, Mariah Carey. I'm going back and I'm taking that one. And that is me, bro. Okay. It's not good enough that I'm tired, but you had to take what I thought nobody else would even think about taking. You had to do it to me, didn't you? That was a suggestion. The hallmark of a true...

It was great. One of you, That was a suggestion. The hallmark of a true... It was great. Why don't you talk? Yeah. I was going to say the hallmark of a true competitor. There's just a stalemate. I'm not going to talk, you talk.

We just slowly take our shirts off. What's going on? Just fighting the Zoom. Well, what's up now, though? So I like to think, so this scenario is like there's a Christmas party and like maybe Bing Crosby's up there going like, And then a frog jumps into his mouth or something like that and he has to go. And then you go up there. It happened again with Bing, like someone get up there.

Zach, you go up there. It happened again with Bing. Someone get up there. Zach, you like to sing. When we say these, are we saying which period in time we're taking them to or is it the 50s? Like we're taking them back to the future. I think we can pick the time maybe. Yeah.

I think that's a fun scenario of picking when you would be a bit older than the 50s maybe. You're taking Paco Bell's Canon in D back to like the 1500s. I'm drafting the church bell. Okay, so what scenario would you take this back into? So this is like early 80s, I think.

Like I'm taking this back to early 80s. And just like I'm at a Christmas party. I somehow snuck into this record this record labels Christmas party, right? Yeah. I had a bunch of cocaine to offer everybody. That's how you got in a bunch of cocaine. Well, you know, I carry a brick on me at all times. So yeah, you said it's going to be a white Christmas.

I threw it in his face and snuck in. And, and so in this scenario, you know, know everyone is is doing like a little karaoke you know a little karaoke of christmas songs it's not like constant but like if you want to go up there whatever and i go up there and i say hey i'd like to play an original for you guys if you don't mind and then i just tell the i tell the um it's live band karaoke yeah tell the musicians on on stage because of course there's a live band we don't have those karaoke machines back then tell the live i said hey just you know try to keep my pace and see and see where it goes watch out for the key changes and try to keep up yep yeah one of those cool snappy things that only

happen in movies the bands are like got it got it yeah i totally know the song in real life yeah in real life i'd be like what the fuck are you talking about what do you mean keep up what key changes like doing like a mini bat size line you're like watch me for the key changes an elephant's leg i just changed one kilo of coke to the other kilo of coke and snort that one yeah there's the key changes oh you start out like just give me give me about a 10 second runway and you're like and uh don't want a lot for christmas i think it'd be fun just to like be performing that song in front of the record executive right as mariah's finished turn like she'd just penned the last word of and just is trying to give it to him and you just finished

performing it you're like oh what what's up like oh have you been writing down what i'm doing that's what you've been doing someone's gonna have to run to a phone bank and be like hey mariah it's your cousin marvin it's your cousin drew oh you would you would own a holiday that's that's that. That song still charts every year. Because around Christmas, it always goes up, it climbs back up the charts. You know what? I can be a cynical, sassy guy,

and I feel like I never get tired of that song. Even throughout the whole Christmas season, it's one of the only songs I'm just like, yeah, it's on, I'm in, it's a banger. Yeah. Even if I was in a Rite Aid, and it's right now, it's today and that started playing i'd be like yeah fuck it i love it i love that so watch the video sometimes it's it's

awesome always puts you in a christmas mood it's great that is the one where it's like it would it would be i would feel weird i would feel bummed out if someone put on like another christmas song although maybe there's another one santa claus baby please come home by the ron the ronettes that one that's if someone put it on like a jukebox in a bar in july i'd be like oh hell yeah this is great yeah this is just a good song i fucking love christmas music all around i'm just such a sucker for it i don't get tired i like the paul mccartney one that people hate i like all of it oh yeah i love that song too that's a good one give all of them all of them laura hates that paul mccartney or oh yeah i love that song too that's a good one give all of them all of them laura hates that paul mccartney or no maybe it's not that one there's a couple

that she just loathes and i'm like pretty strong opinion for a christmas song don't we think that is that song is audio cilantro yeah some people it's just like people are like can't do it it tastes like soap to her it's like like, it's just Paul McCartney and Jingle Bells. We're fine. I think it's fine. It's two things you love. Why would you hate that? Is it the boing sound?

The boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. We draft a Christmas song. If you're one of those people who can't stand wonderful Christmas time, get at us on our socials. Like, smash that like, smash that subscribe. Smash that subscribe, us like get at us on our socials like smash that like smash that subscribe smash that subscribe and then get at us on our social make your voice heard be a part of the conversation hit us up let us know why you don't want the song and if you love it sound off all i want for christmas is you tiscani sorry i didn't mean to interrupt oh no i was just gonna

compliment him for i didn't even think about holiday songs because that it really is you're locking down like every time that year people are like oh my god zach remember when you wrote that song you're like i do like this whole thing yeah guys of course i'll perform it tonight i think of course like just let me get a couple of drinks in me i was very selfish with this draft i think uh you're being very shellfish and now you're a little bit crabby there he goes there you can use that that's a fun one for everyone all the listeners of course i can tell you did stand up last night you're sharp you know i'm sharp please but if you do use that please give me credit for it by the way uh because now that trump is out of office i kind of lost my one joke so when he was in office and if we can go back i hate underline hate to do that i hate to bring him back to the

presidency but just for a minute or two because i i mean trigger warning for everyone this we are about to sort of enter a mental space where we're back under the trump presidency um right but you had a joke for for those during those four years you had you had a joke about it joke is kind of a limiting term but that it was the you know not joke you had a joker about it i had a joke it's a joke is the easiest way to explain it but once you hear it you'll see that it is so much more than that i lowered the boom uh and i put i put a whole town on my crosshairs uh so imagine again don Donald Trump is in office. Sorry to do it.

Sorry to do it. You know, you were the presidential mansion in Washington, D.C., District of Columbia. And this is sort of inside the Beltway humor. So put yourself in that mind frame. Colloquially known as the White House. It's real name is the presidential mansion. A lot of people call it the White House and it's website is whitehouse.gov. If you want to check it out.

1600 Pennsylvania. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But lately, what with all the goings on. Political and otherwise. Lately, I've taken to calling it. And you can use this, but if you do, please give me credit for it. I've taken to calling it. The loony bin. Man, I can't.

What am I going to do now? Fuck, I'm supposed to do now the listeners who weren't watching the zoom i took my headphones off i couldn't hear i don't know what was going on i mean that's the thunder and then the lightning is is if you uh you were i was shellfish and i'm feeling crabby that's the thunder and the lightning one two punch uh something for everyone a man for all seasons what was once up is now down what was once right is now left i don't know what's going on families can come to your stand-up because they're like there's gonna be a little bit for everybody yeah there's something for everybody it's a it's a vegas buffet but it's good ingredients it's one of those 64 buffets uh right it's it's for everybody it's why you can't spell woke without we you know it's for everyone that's in there

it's exactly right uh sean jordan speaking awoke you've been awoke for about 48 hours what is your first pick uh i'm bringing this to that very same dance i was thinking like what do i want to kick the door down with what do i want the enchantment under the sea yeah the enchantment under the sea i'm bringing this song to the very same dance by the way how lucky is what like it would have been very funny if michael j fox was only kind of good at guitar and he was up there like hold on hold on wait a minute hold on wait hold on i'm gonna get it wait hold on wait hold on hold on i'm gonna get it hold on hold on hold on hold on

wait a minute okay wait a minute Marvin who the fuck tuned your guitars I was like so I'm thinking like we have some talent I'm not just gonna be like me doing the song or maybe I am whatever, but,

um, I kind of want, I want something that would be fun to perform fun for me to do. And I want to see these kids faces when I do it. They're not quite ready for it yet. So I'm taking welcome to the jungle by guns and roses. Ooh. I'm doing it at that,

at that dance. You're're gonna do the crab dance i think a couple of the bullies maybe can handle it and i think everyone's gonna come around a little bit there's nothing there's nothing insane in that song but there's you know it's a lot it's more than johnny be good but i think i think they can get there and i want to i was trying to think of like kind of generation defining not generation but like what like opened the door to a genre and that feels like one of the first like one of the like uh it welcomed you to the sunset strip bands like one of those like whatever they're glam hair metal bands or whatever but that was one of the first you're right it wasn't so you've been in

the jungle for a while how are you enjoying it it was welcome to the jungle yeah yeah we're letting you in god if they just man i wish bands were funnier if they got together and just were like let's make a song called so how's the jungle you know how funny that would be so how's the jungle baby i hope you're having a good time. We've been here for a while now, baby. You've been living like an animal. I wish I could see you do this just so you could be like. That's when I drop to my knees. And I hit my knees right there. Knees.

Yeah, it's going to be. And then I'm doing that thing where I'm like humping the stage yeah i'm going like i just want to scream i want to see you scream i want to watch you bleed to a crowd of people for the first time i contact with that mean principal when i when i sing that part i go i want to watch you scream and it's you know he gets more bald somehow and he's sweating even more it's good because it's still a guitar and a drum it's like there are common threads you know what i mean yeah but it is the i guess the the jump from whatever music they were listening to to johnny be good and then from johnny be good to guns and roses is about the same yeah yeah yeah it's i mean it's a you know it's it's tough we're gonna find

out who like does real drugs for sure in that crowd like anyone who's just like i get it and i don't even know that they had well i guess they definitely had cocaine and weed yeah back then and i guess opiates yeah liquor right liquor yeah but that was all the dentist that was all the dentist yeah that's all they probably did that's where high school kids were drinking like full handles of jack daniels that kind of thing where they're like oh this is our drug we just drink tons of alcohol yeah yeah man welcome to the jungle i'd be dressed kind of weird i wouldn't i wouldn't give them full axle but you know i'd i definitely do somebody'd run over to the phones and be like It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin and roses.

It's your cousin Marvin and roses. It's your cousin wheel rose. Your cousin Marvin slash Duff, Axel, and whoever else. Whatever the other guy's name is. That would blow their hair back for sure that's all that's a good thanks man zach harper time for your first pick or no no zach disconti my bad yeah i'm a fucking idiot easy to mix up you're both fucking gorgeous my gosh i'm just looking at the two of you i know you don't like hearing it but sorry i'm tired so whatever i love hearing it can i just say that wait can i how long is that a blanket statement that'll that'll work be like i'm tired sorry you're beautiful i think for you the next 18 years

yeah i think you i think you're in the clear now i'll tell you i wish i wish actual parents would stop saying that because it's like no give me don't give me the negativity give me the because they'll be like i keep fishing where i'm like yeah i've heard this last a couple weeks huh and they're like try 18 years and i'm like fuck you tell me tell me something different what if we said it like this what if we were like you get it for the next 18 years no excitement in it no we're past that point i want it i want them to be like yeah a couple more weeks and then in a couple more weeks i'll be like okay they were lying but it was you get no sleep but you also get like any time you need to just get out of a situation and just be like, oh, man, Maxine's just having a day.

And everyone's like, yep, get it. Yep. Don't don't want to hear the rest of that. I will tell you this. I've been up for much whacker stuff and it's fine. It's not. I'm not. I'm kidding.

It's absolutely amazing. I wouldn't say anything other. I've been tired before. Much whacker stuff would be a good companion podcast of things that are dank that i'm stoked on much all right now let's get depressed with whack stuff you know that it's time for much whacker stuff with sean jordan that i'm not stoked on sorry i stepped all over you gotta start doing the the the fatherhood

like comforts you know what i mean like there's a reason that dads do certain things like you gotta start falling asleep in front of the tv while golf is playing you gotta get kind of fat where tommy bahama you gotta start doing dad things that you compensate for the no sleep with yeah i mean it's you gotta make noises when you sit down yeah i do i'm telling you don't bring me back to that progressive commercial i'll keep talking about it where that guy sits down and the guy goes do you hear that sound everyone's like now we're gonna talk about securing securing the perimeter oh before the night is over just go do a little walk around the house a big one is like when people get to the

house they'll be like what way did you how'd you get here and they'll tell me and i'll be like oh my god at this hour you gotta cut across primrose if you're coming this way surface streets tell you what dipshit anyway i digress zach disconny you are the originator of the topic and it's time for your first pick my first pick uh i am gonna steal uh i am gonna steal the whole performance by Future Islands when they did Seasons on David Letterman. Yes. Oh, wow. And that song came out 2014. So I think I'm just going to go back like maybe 2010.

So this would have been pre-standup days. This would have been Cincinnati. And I would have just fucking. Do you have a place that you would want people to see you do it like back home? Oh, man. And I would have just fucking. Do you have a place that you would want people to see you do it like back home? Oh, man. I think maybe just being like, just begging a really good band.

Just like, let me open for one song and then I'm out. Yeah. And then just doing that. I don't know what band it would be, but I feel like I'd want it to be at a concert. Yeah. And all those people would just assume like, well, I guess he's just going to keep making music. And then that's it for me i've been right no you you get they get your shovel in the gravel and then he looks so mad when he's doing it he looks so upset because he like purses his

lips kind of one of you showed me that ian or zach one of you showed me and i i was not ready for that i saw him and i made up my mind i ah, I bet this isn't going to be amazing. And then it was one of the best performances there's ever been on late night. You get to pound on your chest. You get to do the whole like Wahlberg from fear thing, right? Like you just start hitting yourself.

Nicole forever. He does. He looks mad for a second. He looks everything. He experiences every emotion at the height of that emotion, and then he does a fun little ski dance. It's amazing. It's like the 12 stages of grief.

I'm not as familiar with Future Islands, but they're very established and have tons of hits, right? Tons of good music. I've never really heard anything else. They have a lot of good music, but I don't know if hits is the right word. Yeah, sure. Yeah, like within their't know if hits is the right word. Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Like within their, you know, if you like that song, you're going to probably like the rest of their, their output. But I think seasons is like their biggest song. That song is something where I'll still do this,

like this douchey thing where I'll play it. I haven't done it a while just because of a pandemic, but I'll play that around people that I'm like, I bet you they've never heard this. And then I'll act way too cool about it where they're just like, what's this? I'm like, Oh, it's future,

future islands. And then I'll, I'll just stop talking about it. Like crazy, crazy. It's like eight years old. Mild that you wouldn't have heard that. I thought you were into music.

I guess, I guess not. No, I heard this song when I was four years old. I was at a, uh, I love that. Just being real.

I'm sorry. David, is it? Uh, yeah, it's future. Yeah, I was, I was four years old i was at a uh i love that just being real i'm sorry david is it uh yeah it's future island yeah i was i was four years old i was eating at the culinary institute of america where david chang and jess cooked his first meal and uh yeah the song came on and uh you know it was just i told timothy uh chalamet he was a baby uh i've known him since he's a baby i told him uh he was a shallow baby that's such a that's such a good song you would fucking blow people's mind that's a fun one because it's like it's the music is great but it comes it just comes from the performance almost more than like the music itself like blowing you away although the music is great but it's just

like holy shit you can be like this on stage on letterman where everyone's sitting down like it's the thing no one's standing up everyone's sitting there and he still gets that buck yeah it's also great because letterman is this like bump on the log who's been sitting there for like 25 years praying for someone to entertain him you know what i mean for something like he just that's like his whole attitude and that's what made him great too but like when something genuinely like is like that he gets stoked so like he's stoked they're stoked and also them not having a ton of hits is like one of the things that makes it so great too you know like because they're just like oh we're on fucking national tv let's go for it yeah and i i like too that uh also in this scenario because if you watch that performance he's really the only one performing the rest of the band is straight up just playing music and

standing like yeah and so uh that would be good because the the band you know it's like don't worry i got this i would just watch for the key changes the idea of the idea of being the only person in that room acting that way. Yeah. Acting in a way that isn't just like I'm either playing music or I'm just sitting there and watching is that's got to be a crazy feeling. Right. Yeah. And also it's what, 2010. So I can invite all my friends who are like, what the fuck?

You don't you didn't tell us you write music. Yeah. Also, people, some people change. Some people never do. Is that about me? Yeah. also people some people change some people never do is that about me oh that's such a good pick that's sick uh with my first pick i'm going i'm gonna go back to like that that same uh party from the movie from the back of the future movie and i'm and i'm taking

a song back there and i'm gonna need some help, too. So it can't just be me. But I'll do the first part of the song, and then there'll be a few other people, maybe from the band. And it starts, what I like about this song is it starts like a song from that era. You know, it's like, woo. Oh, yeah, sure. I choose you, baby. Da-na-na-na-na. I choose you, baby. And I'm like, so I typed a text to a girl I used to see telling her I found this cutie pie with whom I want to be. And I apologize if this message gets you down.

And then I CC'd every girl that I'd CC around town. And I started like that. And I do the rest of Andre's part. And then the beat would drop. And then somebody would be like, my picture choosy. And then all these people these people you wouldn't is that that's bun or pimp who is that i i i think it's uh bun b i i don't know can i please throw my joker card in the hat to be bun b i would love to be bun b in this please i've always wanted to be him because it's like a it's like it's like it's like a soul doo-w's like a it's like a soul

doo-woppy kind of thing to begin with and people like oh okay he's talking over it but it's you know that's like a that's nothing like frankie valley wouldn't do is like baby yeah you know i love you and you know i'm always gonna love you it's like that kind of thing but then sweet jones my bitch a choosy lover never fuck without a rubber never on the sheets like on top of the cover money on the dresser drive a compressor top notch hose they don't even know what hose means yeah people are like hosiery thesaurus like i don't know yeah i don't know what a flat bell hat is i do that and then i'd run to an idling car with the rest of the band and drive out of town because they would try to kill us.

They sure would. They sure would. They wouldn't like it. The principal would try to give you detention. It's your cousin, Larry 3000. Marvin outcasting UGK. That's the one I just thought like, cause it'd be so fun to like, for a second,

they'd be like, Oh, this is really nice. People will be slow dancing. They get totally lulled into a sense of false security. That's a good call. You would really flip them. And then just punch right in the mouth.

Oh man. As soon as someone said bitch on a microphone in the fifties, people just start throwing up. I bet. Yeah. Bitch. And then fuck is in the next line. just start throwing up i bet yeah bitch and then fuck is in the next line yeah all the guys would be like what is this my my living room chair what are we what are we doing what am i what are we all what are we all screaming at the kitchen no this

is crazy no that's sick man that's a good oh that's fun that's a good one that's a really i don't have any of those where it like tricks them for a second. That one would like shock the culture. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like there would be articles written about it decades later. It's just, it's the invention of rap. And I, it would be the invention of rap, but like also with like perhaps the peak of rap

happening at the same time. And it would be me, a white guy inventing it. I would always should have been. My next one is happening at the same party. This is a little bit in line with your pick, Sean Jordan, but I'm going to take it

one notch higher. I'm going to make it one notch spicier. Please do. But this is still the 50s and it's going to be Raining Blood by Slayer. Yeah, of course.

Oh, Jesus. Now, is that the one where it's like doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo- one where it's like... No, at the beginning, it's kind of like Thunder Sounds. I'm like... Yeah, it's that one. With the drum, like... Oh, no.

No, okay. I know what you're talking about that fuck yeah dude again you're gonna get the that's a good way to find out who I want to kick it with after the dance like the people that that like go for their head up but I'm like okay so us we'll go to the 50 yard line and do what people do at the 50 yard line not not all of my picks are designed to potentially kill people in the audience but my first two definitely are my first two are i just want to see what happens to the people in the crowd where like would people start moshing and headbanging just instinctively then you have to yeah your like body would be like go you'd be like a sleeper cell where you're like i don't know what's going on and then yeah it'd be a manchurian candidate situation i feel like everybody would go straight to biff and just kill him because he's everybody scared of him and they eat the shit out of him yeah fistfight would break out somebody would throw the punch like in the bowl at somebody you know what's interesting to think about is like

what's the version of that that we are not ready for you know like 40 years 50 years from now what what are they going to be making where you're like what like if they did it now i don't think it's i don't think they could make anything we're not ready for that we'd be like this isn't music because it's come so far that we we would just think well it's a version of music if there was if music goes past edm but like still on that like where it's all electronic, I think that's when I would be like, I don't... My brain can't process all of this. It will happen, Sean. Yeah, it will.

It's just crazy to think about. Like computer-generated freestyle tune where you go see this robot concert, but you have no idea what they're going to give you. It's just always different or I don't know, something. I was going to say and they only feed it into each person's individual brain by thinking of

what your last thoughts were. Then that freestyle is about what your last thoughts were and it's just all projecting. So everyone's getting a different song, but it's all the same song at the same time.

The Bluetooth man group. I biked by one of those headphone parties the other night. One of those headphone outdoor dance parties. You guysed by one of those uh headphone parties the other night one of those headphone outdoor dance parties you guys ever seen one of those in real life yeah no i didn't know what i was looking at i saw everybody had headphones that had purple lights on the ears they were all dancing like crazy but there were no there was no sound there was a dj actively spinning and i was like what the fuck is going on that was my question i i never knew if headphone parties is if other everyone's listening to whatever they want or if they're all listening to the same thing this one was a dj it was hilarious to me but anyway what if you like

tapped in and it was just this podcast and i was just like damn you should really get your fans to do that go to a park and just listen to it. We're back. Go nuts. We should do that at one of the live shows, pass out headphones, but then each of the recordings is something different. Oh my God, that'd be sick. We'll do the podcast to most of the people and then the three people will be like, look at you, you fucking idiot.

The fuck are you doing? You're at a headphone podcast listening party? How dare you? Go home, ugly. On Mike Malloy's headphones, just shipping up to Boston. Just let me play that on loop. He claims to not like that song. I bet he's toe-tapping.

Fucking liar. You're a liar, Mike. He's like, I just like the Muzak version. Everybody likes that song. Speaking of the Zach version, it's time for the Zach Toscani version of the second pick. Second pick, I am going to steal Paul Simon's You Can Call Me Al. Oh, damn it. Very nice.

And that was 1986. I was born in 1985. I'm coming out of my mother playing You Can Call Me Al. What? He goes, no, it's Zach. And you what playing you can call me out what she goes no it's zach and you go you can call me out don't name me out but you can call me you're being real passive about it uh what's his name zach and you just go actually you can call me out i don't know what she's talking about uh i this was apparently the first uh when i was a baby i would dance to the song all the time and it has continued that streak my whole life i fucking love this song it gets me so upbeat and happy immediately uh yeah totally want to steal it and claim it as mine i used to think

chevy chase was paul simon oh yeah Because he sings the he's in the music video Yeah when I was a kid I was because I was like In my mind that The two if I had to pick from the two of them Who's the successful recording artist here It's gonna be the taller guy So I was like it's gotta be that That guy and it definitely was

Who did you think Paul Simon was the penguin I thought he was like just like a sidekick Yeah I really thought he was just like some fun dude in the video. I mean, I was. When did it come out, Zach? You said 86? 86, yeah. Yeah, so I was five, you know.

Plus that song just comes in with that synth. You're like, I'm already in for a good time. Yeah. It's locked in. We're good. Instant smile. Plus that bass loop. Yeah, which we watched together and we found out Instant smile. Plus that bass loop. Yeah.

Which we watched together and we found out that it was just done forward and then reversed. Oh, really? Shattered my world. Oh, shit. Yeah. And then halfway through they reverse it. You need a second Harper?

It's just like now I'm wondering how many times i've been lied to in my life like that's jesus you call your parents tell me everything that's gonna fuck me up the rest of the day like that's just no when you're listening to this the rest of my day is up in the air let me let me give you the first group of lies that you can uh debunk watch watch loose change my friend okay watch that okay yeah then do you do yourself a watch zeitgeist zeitgeist two and zeitgeist three and then i'll once you watch those i'll be able to show you a bumper sticker that says realize realize realize but once you see how those three things are spelled it's okay yeah it like opens up your third eye do you do you mind if we just stop the podcast right now i can go watch all

those things i'll go find the bumper sticker and then i'll come back and we'll just pick it back up i think that's completely reasonable so we can do that right we have we have nine hours oh yeah i've got nothing but time baby okay all right cool uh so when we come back zach will have watched all of those things and we're back yeah harper how do you feel you different i mean yeah uh my heart is both open and closed at the same time you thought your parents lied a lot the government lies my friend well my parents are the government i don't know if you guys see you did open your mind's eye i'm proud of you the film's called loose change but what sean is doing is gathering change that's what he's doing picking it back up you know yeah it's called being the change he wishes

to see in the world get him get him incidentally harper how do you feel about kairi irving now he's a genius he can he can ollie man k Kyrie Irving can get it. He can ollie. Earth can be as flat as he needs it to be. Whatever. You can call me out by Paul Simon. Amazing pick. I wanted that one. Wait, let me get that scenario again. You're coming out of your mother singing it? Yeah, I think I was just more of a

on a joke tip than taking... Because then I was like, wait, but how would I go back in time to... Yeah, it became a whole... Maybe I would just be in the delivery room dressed as a doctor and then when I come out then I play it delighting yourself as a baby and then they're like I don't I didn't hear the song I just gave birth you come out with a tiny bass though on the bass line and then I go back in to finish it. Sean Jordan, time for your second pick.

I'm taking it back to the same dance. I'm having fun thinking about these songs at that dance. I wasn't thinking about that in general, but I'm like, no, this is fun to me. I wanted something that was going to be fun at sporting events and i wanted something kind of simple i was trying to think of things like if i had to could i learn how to do this so i'm taking we will rock you by queen nice yeah you can do the stomp stomp clap yeah i think the dance would they'd think it was dumb but i think they'd come around to it and it's nothing crazy they you know i'd just be like you know get them into it and then i think that wouldn't shock them quite as much maybe some of

the guitar riffs but like a stomp stomp clap you could get them to do that yeah i think so i think they'd be like okay this all right our feet in our hands all right we'll stomp stomp clamp and then i just get to be at every i just get to be at sporting events and things like that and like you know fun games that mean something and every time you were at a sporting event, there'd be some point in the crowd where like they, they show you on the Jumbotron and they're just like, and it's just anticipation of like, when's he going to start stomping,

you know? And then when you're like, you kind of just give it like, all right, boom, boom, you know? And then everyone's like,

everyone just fucking loses it. I don't want to pick it apart. I'm not, and I don't want to pick it apart i'm not and i don't want to pick on you here are you in the are you do you think they're performing that lie i know you don't actually think this but in this scenario they're doing we will rock you live at all these sporting events no or do they just cut or do you get free tickets because like you're like yeah i just get to go i mean i'm just i didn't i don't even think i need to be there i'm just saying this is a song that's going to play

at sporting events. I was thinking more of like I Get Royalties or whatever. Or I'll be the person who wrote the song. Man, it's not far off that I would think Queen did go to every single sporting event, all of them, and play We Will Rock You. I think it'd be tight. That's like a seven-year-old thing to think.

There's nothing wrong with that. Back when I thought the Mile High Stadium was built a mile high. Like from yeah yeah yeah man we will rock you i think the kids are ready for it and that's probably my last reasonable pick uh i know i've only had two picks and one of them kind of wasn't even that reasonable i'm gonna get nuts and they're all gonna be at that dance i'm gonna get crazy at that dance. I'm excited. When you said that you were going to pick a sports anthem, I really thought you were going to pick the,

what was it, Rock and Roll History Part 1 and 2, just so you could be like, hey! Hey! Well, that's, yeah, just... Hey! That would be a really fun one. That would be a good one, yeah. I wrote that myself.

It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Glitter. Marvin Mercury. You gotta hear this. Hey! It's just the audio only. Hey! Hey! How funny would it be to release a fucking vocal only version of rock and roll oh my god that's what he just says hey every like minute

hey listen to this one it sounds like he someone cut him off in traffic hey off in traffic. Yay! This is like, this is what whales sound like when they're beached. There it is. If any of you are capable,

please make a version of that song that's just the audio. Just the audio. And then, hit us up on the socials.

Hit us up on the socials. Smash that share button. Share that smash button and then smash that share button. that smash button and then smash that share button uh yeah all right fucking queen dude oh yeah man we will rock you we will rock you zach harper

time for your second and third picks okay uh i really like the idea of all these happening at the dance and so i for this one at least yeah at least i'm gonna i'm gonna do this and i'm gonna get up on stage and i'm gonna i'm gonna make sure everyone's quiet and they're looking at me and i'm gonna call biff to the middle of the floor say biff you get your ass out here and show your face and he's gonna get out there he's gonna stand there he's breathing all heavy he's looking all tough and then i'm just gonna kneel down on the front of the stage pick up the microphone and say that's why i fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker i'm gonna hit him with hit him up by two blocks yeah i'm gonna point it all his friends like first off fuck your bitch in the click you claim

wow click was the word back then yeah absolutely yeah it'd be fun to go through and be like what are they gonna get and what aren't they gonna get i feel like tupac was fairly straightforward in the message it seems like yeah i don't i got the message you know i never had to like oh let me go to mince words let me go rap genius these lyrics i don't know what he's talking about here which click hit him up yeah having a bad night yeah marvin shakur i'm trying to think of all the way you claim to be a player but a fuck your wife something bad boy for life i mean west side when we ride come equipped with game is that what they say yeah yeah they wouldn't know what game was they'd be like which game hopscotch shoots and ladders what are we doing marbles yeah football that new game marbles what are you talking about watching the sun

go into the ocean and thinking what if the sun really went into the ocean penicillin What if the sun really went into the ocean? Penicillin? You're talking about roll the boy in an iron lung down a hill? What sort of games? Have you ever seen an iron lung? Guess the Jew? No, I've never seen an iron lung.

Where would I have seen an iron lung? The Sioux falls hospital has a little museum in it and they have an iron lung it's gnarly dude is it still operational stop it i lived there the only yeah i think i only saw iron lungs in like movies and television shows yeah when they were making fun of iron yeah it was always it was always looney tunes i think that's where i learned from the iron lung it was looney tunes ah yeah totally yeah oh yeah that in lebowski i think oh that's right what does he say big fan what does he say he was like uh because the guy wrote branded right yeah 10 seasons yeah what does he say he was like uh because the guy wrote branded right yeah 10 seasons yeah what does he say to him and a good day to you sir is that what it is

he's in the iron line oh it might be him in lebowski night dude max was eating last night and her boogers got all. And I was like, she sounds like John Goodman. I bet it just sounded like what I think John Goodman sounded like. Just like I didn't think it was funny at all. At like four in the morning. Like not at all. Did you wake her up?

You have to wake her up to feed. Guess what? Maxine probably sounds like she was on it. She was Laura was awake feeding, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the bosom of nature. And it's just one of those, I am finding I'm doing that too much. I'm cracking too many jokes.

And I'm like, they're not always, it's not always a joke time. Sometimes it's like a sit and just, you know, we don't always need to be laughing time. And that was one of those four in the morning John Goodman jokes. And she didn't laugh. And I was like, I was just you know we don't always need to be laughing time and that was one of those four in the morning john goodman jokes and she didn't laugh and i was like i was just kidding it was a joke you gotta sing uh you gotta be like pisces virgo rising is a very good sign i don't know that song sweet and kind and the girl is mine Even though we ain't got money. I contact her the whole time. Whole time.

Yeah. Everything will bring a change of love. If you detect her being tired of your jokes, just take a real earnest, dude. And then she'll be begging for the jokes in no time. Cool. I will. Or just take that hat off. Keep that hat off. And I feel like you could say anything with that hair right now. I will. Or just take that hat off. Keep that hat off. I feel like you could say

anything with that hair right now. I swear to God, I could be outside and she's like, your hair looks great. She's probably saying it upstairs right now. Yeah. Hit him up. People would put in monocles just so they could fall into their drinks. I feel like if you did that.

Do you think I'd have to explain what a mark-ass bitch is? I think context could do it for this for the straight a students but the biffs of the world are going to be like what's a mark yeah was that a was that an insult there's a guy there and maybe there's a dork named mark at that school yeah he's not even part of he's just this random kid getting punched. You know Mark at the soda fountain. Even George McFly beats him up. Yeah. George McFly's been wailing on him for years.

Mark. You know Mark, he's always sweating, whining. You know, whiny piss Mark, we call him. I smell Mark with a C. Maybe I'd change the lyrics to like, McFly when we ride, come equipped with game, you know? Just trying to make it personal. What? Yeah. Maybe you'd change the lyrics to like mcfly when we ride come equipped with game you know just trying to make it personal yeah yeah maybe you'd change the lyric i think all right i guess i guess i definitely did change the lyrics yeah geez dude i think that yeah hit him up that's

why i have one rapper on this on this conference call right now but yeah sure i like where you're going um and your third pick my third pick um man this is tough you know uh i think that i want to i think i want to upstage a legend is really flip history on its head so i'm gonna i'm gonna take i gotta go hundreds of years back wow hundreds of years back. Wow. Hundreds of years back. But right before this dipshit named Beethoven sits down at a piano. I said, actually, I got, I got,

I got something. If you don't mind, a gentleman. And I sit down, I do the symphony number five in C minor and I just start playing it. No lyrics, no needed. Just like,

and I just say, ah, it's kind of off the top of my head. I just do. I just play that. You can have your own lyrics. Fuck youwig fuck you ludwig fuck you ludwig you fly you are you mark ass bitch fuck you ludwig fuck you ludwig mcfly when we ride and then he'd have to put his ear down to the piano to hear your insults i I think that's what I do.

I slam his head into the piano, right? I'm like, listen to this, you son of a bitch. And just start playing it. You're an aggressive bully, my friend. Oh, God. What was she? Loud Big Von Beef Oven? Loud Big Von Beef Oven.

It's one of the shame names. It's my favorite shame name loud big is such a fun beef oven it's jesus this is my buddy my buddy loud big why you'll see you'll see i forgot about loud big von beef please please my my dad's mr beef oven call me loud big loud big von beef oven and fart barf knuckle make me laugh so hard i think those are the things i've done in comedy that i'm the proudest of in my entire career loud big von beef up loud barf knuckle loud big loud big oh my god both those separate the thing is like if you said my buddy loud big or my buddy beef oven is coming

over right people are gonna be like holy buckets but if you say my buddy loud big or my buddy beef oven is coming over right people are gonna be like holy buckets but if you say my one friend loud big von beef oven is coming over they're like what loud big von beef oven was coming over you remember those two like like like big fat twins who rode the scooters i would just assume they're coming over and like oh loud big yeah oh yeah loud big and beef ovenven, yeah. They're coming over. Got it. I have to assume you're bringing two Austrian cows over. And then Fart Barf Knuckles is also going to be there.

That's a classic. Did Loud Big RSVP? Like, yes, he did. And then we cancelled the wedding immediately. Now, Beef Oven, Aspera that's i mean this didn't work out last time you know who's he who's he bringing probably fart barf knuckle yeah like it's just it's apparent i don't want at table 11 okay we can't sit we can't sit loud big von beef oven next to bing bong titty bitch which is which is a name we came up for as for thomas middleditch long before he got exposed as a as a as a question one of edge this fucking guy wasn't the thing like he uh

after he blew up he proposed to his wife that maybe we have sex with whoever we want that was one of them i think it's just yeah yeah i don't think he's like a criminal but he's definitely like a creep. What a snake move. He's a creepy dingo. Now that I'm famous, why don't we just bone whoever? No big deal. Anyway. Fucking beef oven, dude.

Getting taken. Is it me yet? It is now. Yeah, it can be. What was your third? What am I? I missed something. What was your third pick?

No, it's your pick. Yeah, it's your pick. Symphony number five. Beethoven. That's right. which okay sorry to bring it back which one is that you should steal that yeah that one okay you should steal that and then immediately after and i'm like oh and that just gave me idea and then play a fifth of beethoven which is the disco remix yeah you know that sounds i just want a fifth a loud big yeah uh it was robin thick sampled that and did a song it was in a sprite commercial like 15 years ago or 10 years ago do you guys remember that you're thinking of drake nope nope you're thinking of

drake never never mixed up robin thick and drake never i never done it. A lot of people play with a sprained ankle. He says there ain't nothing to play with, but most athletes end up playing on a sprained ankle, and they do fine. A lot of people. Yeah, they do fine. Isaiah Thomas famously in the finals. Won a damn game. Won a damn fourth quarter. Sean,

a man who has often mistaken Drake for Robin Thicke, what is your third pick? This is tough, man. I don't know if I just start getting insane or if I do one more reasonable. If I go one more reasonable, you know? Because I have some... The Pledge of Allegiance. I just want to see...

I just want to see their faces with these songs. I'm just going to go... I'm just going to get nuts. So we're at a dance. I don't know where these kids are at in their life, but I'm going to get up there with them. You're at a dance? It's a four-part harmony of sorts.

So it'll just be the four of us. And we are going to sing Color Me Bad's I Want to Sex You Up at that dance. Wow. You're going to get arrested. At that dance. In the 50s? sure am but they're also i sure am but they're gonna make some babies i'll get that song done before they arrest me

i that would be one where it's like it's very plain english on that one making love until we drown but you can't mix that up that's yeah i think all the teachers would be like crap now they know now they're gonna know now they're gonna get like, crap, now they're going to know. Now they're going to get it. And now you're teaching them about climate change too. Right. I'm letting them know way before. They're the start of climate change. Until we drown.

Yeah, man, just the four of us. We are dressed like Color Me Bad. So we have four different colored blazers on. We all have like big kind of thick ice by the foot chains you know like the big like half inch thick change that go like just kind of down to your sternum ish your xiphoid process process kind of kind of down there black t-shirt black pants the like zoot suit kind of come down to the like taper pants i feel like we could get those clothes

the chain might be hard to get we might have to steal it from like like a right one of those oil tycoons like cars or something like that where he's like i have a solid gold fan belt and we just chop it up jp morgan one of us should be shirtless under those blazers right yeah the deep voice guy which one he wants to be the deep voice guy it's harper i suppose yeah i got the deep voice yeah all right all right yeah so then you got to be sweating too or wet oh i'll be sweating if you're singing that i'll be sweating okay i'm brian i'm the main singer i'm taking his how do you think we're drowning yeah it's gonna be all the sweat i've got going so there's if you guys are familiar with color me bad brian was the guy who sang all the time and i think he was i think he was white uh the deep voice dude was black and then there was a i uh the guy who kind of looked like george

michael if you guys remember him oh yeah no yeah you're gonna have to be zach and then ian you're gonna be the uh you're gonna be the dude that speaks uh curly haired spanish all the time he there's that guy who's always throwing spanish into his verses and now you're going to be the dude that speaks curly-haired Spanish all the time. There's that guy who's always throwing Spanish into his verses, and you're that guy. Which one has a cane? That's the main dude, Brian. That's you? Yeah, that's me. No, I'm him.

No. No, you can get in the parking lot. We'll have a Brian off in the parking lot. No, I'm Brian. I like the idea of Sean, every time he really starts getting into the verse, Ian just comes and snatches his cane away and sean's trying to finish the verse but he's trying to also chase you around for the cane well then i start and i gotta be the i gotta be the guy that sneaks vanish into every verse i don't know if i'm ready to do that yo soy sean yeah biblioteca

i'm the cane guy all right all. All right. You're all right. You're right. We're good friends, man. Man, that's all it took. Wow. Yeah, you're my brother. You can be the cane guy if you want. You're Brian.

No, you're the cane guy. Making love until we drown. And you have, some of the girls are swooning. They don't care. They just hear the voice. It's melodic. Some people are swooning. They might be doing that like Beatles thing where they're like swooning so hard they like

faint and pass out. You know, Sean, you can be the can guy and I'll be the guy calling Marvin me bad. Yeah. It's Marvin me bad. You said that's out of roster. Hey,

it's Marvin me bad. I'll be Marvin me bad. It's your cousin. Marvin me bad. Marvin me bad. With two D's. That was their thing. Two D's on bad, by the way.

Zach, time for your third pick. Third pick. I am going to... I'm also going to steal a Queen song, but I will be stealing Bohemian Rhapsody. That's the one. Bo rap, dude. Obviously.

Where are you going to be? You're going to be at the dance? You know what? I want to take this fucker back. I want to take it back to like bohemia yeah bohemia 1784 and that was near that was near persia that was persia right i was just gonna say persia bohemia prussia that was just a pre-roll thing where sean thought that persians and armenians were the same people can we hear that out i'll own up to my mistakes i thought that persia was like a region like asia and i thought that yeah like that was a blanket region region term for where armenia was among other i like i like region region i think you should

say it like that parm parm region cheesezilian brian region yeah region filled in parm region you can tell i'm nervous because i'm on the other side of my chair now where i'm like well it's not you know whatever it's just something i thought and uh you know it's a region okay um into the wind and um for all intensive purposes you know all that somebody tweeted me it's a doggy dog world today a doggy dog doggy dog well that was a snoop song doggy dog when i was a kid i didn't know it was dog eat dog until the tv show or whatever it was because snoop had that song doggy dog world and i thought he made up the whole say i didn't know that was a phrase or term you thought it was a boy meets world right yeah well it's yeah it's it's a cory savage fred can take take a walk

there was a long time where i thought it was doug eat fresh then long before so i thought it was doug eat fresh long time yeah doug eat fresh at subway yeah and dougie doug was just a cannibal just yeah dougie doug world i like started the sentence and been like that there's no correlation so where are you taking bohemian rhapsody back to i would take bohemian rhapsody back to probably like 1600 1700 like really because it has the opera so they'd be like i feel like people would be a little ready for it. But then just all the insanity of what goes on in that song. Plus guitar. There's electric guitar.

So I got to invent electricity, too. That's going to be a pain in the butt. They're going to bleed you after that. Try to get the devil out of you. They're going to cut you with razors and be like, we got to bleed. I have to leave post haste, as they would say. What's it called? Bloodletting?

Is that what it's called? Bloodletting. Bloodletting. All right. Yeah. I know shit, bro. Instead of Marvin Mercury, you know, making a phone call and throw a message in a bottle into the ocean just like hope it gets to the ancestors

Dear East Frederick, I hope this missive finds you well. This is your cousin. Marvin Mercury. This is your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great great great great great great great great grand uncle marvin mercury yeah i definitely get burned for a witch but i think it'd be worth it

be totally worth it yeah dude and it was another one of those ones where like at first they'd be like oh okay this is like an opera song i know this right there'd be a piano back then too i'm just but you get halfway through the song before people would be like it'd be like nothing they ever heard but you get halfway through before anyone knew what was up right that's amazing yeah that's great man i didn't i don't have any of those like trick them picks i just have i just have like, holy shit. Oh, I'm just,

I'm quiet because I'm picturing it happening and I'm really enjoying it. Yeah. Yeah. I think you could go a bunch of different routes. You could have costumes, you could dress up, you could really make it an opera, like have a bunch of people behind you and stuff. There's a lot of possibilities behind you and stuff there's a

lot of uh possibilities plus it's like three songs in one right so it feels like a package deal you bring up a good point about like how you'd have to invent electricity but i feel like you could do it you know it's not like it's like you've already got the knowledge uh sort of of what you do not i would just bring an amp with a plug where does this go now if there were enough other smart people and i could be like okay so this is what it needs to be so i can tell you how they got that like a key with lightning hitting it metal copper copper we know copper copper i would just be saying watt amp like i just like let me know

when something is like bradby watt amp copper can transmit electricity which is light which is lightning which we can make with water somehow we all have lightning in our houses in the future to go back and explain to the smartest person of the day what you think electricity how to do it and see if they were like what yeah i'm the smartest person in the world slow down thy fool mouth somebody come bloodlet this heretic again i also like the look that ian had on his face i was like you could you could figure out electricity and zach you were just shaking your head no i was halfway through the sentence you're like no this isn't gonna happen i wouldn't know how to explain any of this shit microphone computer i'd have a tough time with coffee i'd be i don't know

man it's like uh beans coffee beans you know where coffee beans are it's beans you fool when you throw the beans what do you think is the most advanced thing you could explain me god that's a great question maybe no something to do with maybe like how a flu you get a flu and your body fight i don't even know yeah maybe that penicillin maybe no because i wouldn't know how to get there like yeah could i explain once we get there i know how to use it. I could explain mayonnaise. Yeah, I think like a burrito. I could go, if you sent me like 10,000 years in the past, I'd be like, look, this is what we're doing now. And it would blow everybody away.

A whip makes a sonic boom. I could explain that. I'd be like, give me a whip, and I'd crack it, and I'd be like, that was the speed of sound. That's what I would say. And why did you make that noise? Because it broke the speed of sound, and that noise is a sonic boom. What do you mean that was the speed of sound that's what i would say and why does it make that noise because it broke the speed of sound and that noise is a sonic speed of sound well how fast our voices travel that's the speed of sound so when something goes faster than that it does what's called a sonic boom and when you crack the whip for a brief second the tail end of the whip goes faster than the speed of sound and why does it it's like street fighter you know guile a lot like street fighter when guile

you know with those women in the army in the background that are wearing mini skirts and shirts that barely cover their nipples yeah how women in the army dress it's insane if you look at whatever whole nother show but yeah i think like a croissant is the most technologically advanced thing i can explain yeah i yeah i don't it'd be funny to go back and try to make people laugh back then maybe a keyboard try to get try to gauge out what funny was when like when the stakes were so high with life yeah like in the dark ages we're like why do you what do you guys laugh at is it like actually killing people? You just stop someone on the street and you're like,

poop. And then they just start laughing. You're like, get in the wood. If you go back and read Shakespeare, it was like poops and sex. Yeah. This man has so few goats.

Oh, how many? What a loser. What a loser. How many goats? I bet it's not a lot. He has zero goats in his stable. That's an absurd amount of goats to have in this day and age.

What a shit head. That's less than one. Fuck that guy. What a loser. He probably doesn't have any sons. Fuck that guy. How will he procure milk to be turned to cheese to get through the lean months? This man has four children.

All women. Oh, what a prick so we should go record try to film like the world's first stand-up comedy special fucking dickhead no male heirs that would be you in the front row no heir to the throne piece of shit what a loser uh my clothes my clothes everybody i'm just my clothes everyone poop poop yeah they say it twice you could get i i would bet dollars to donuts that if you like if you'd like all right i'm gonna get out of here one more joke poop and you just and people would laugh i if you had a good set up to that people would laugh yeah if only you were a stand-up comedian give it a try i will threaten me with a good time you think i won't try that do it at the clinton street do it at the fucking clinton street i will do it

at the clinton street sorry sorry to anyone who bought tickets and just ruined my closer but it's gonna be poop and that's it i'll beat you up if you don't do it yeah and i'll do the fucking this thing by my waist and i'll go out and charlie horse everybody who looks or is it this what do you do i like that both of them yeah time for my third and fourth picks as tis with my third pick i'm gonna this is a song that i think people could i don't think the song itself is gonna blow people's minds until the very end i'm taking love on top by beyonce wow and i'll go back to that same party i'll keep it at the same party but that's the song where at the end she keeps doing key changes higher and higher yeah and higher and higher until the song's over and it is such an ecstatic moment of music that i just want all those people we've been fucking with it i made them listen to slayer and ugk so far i like the idea that you just keep going up back on stage every 10 minutes

with a new song oh yeah you're just like stick around stick around i will get you stick around yeah i'm just going back there i'm talking to my sordid cousins trying to figure out what's going on i got a lot of cousins seeing what you guys guys are going to like. Wait a minute. Put your love on top. Marvin Knowles. There's probably a Marvin Knowles. Love on top. She goes even higher. She just keeps going higher.

And I think people would fucking, I think they would enjoy that. That's like a thing, Noah, I don't think anyone had done at that point. Maybe like the whiff and poofs at Yale. Yeah, I know the name of the Yale acapella group. The whiff and poofs? The whiff and poofs. Poofs. I thought you said poop. And Iiff and poops the whiff and poofs poofs i thought you said poop and i was like what whiff and poof it's like they're called whiffing poop

they're not far off it's when you play baseball but instead of a ball you throw poop and then if you strike out it's a whiffing poop with your whiffing poop bat yeah all right you guys want to go play poop baseball hear me out we're all gonna we're all gonna poop put in the freezer for a couple hours and go play baseball with it you're telling me you don't want to play shits ball now you all have to pardon my ignorance i've never heard this beyonce song you've never heard love on top i don't think so maybe oh my god dude this is like you might have heard it but if not this is a fucking same old G moment. What's it on? You can get it on CD, Spotify.

Yeah. Amazon. What else? Mixtapes. I don't know what album it's on. I like mixtape. I like mixtape. You could probably get it on a mixtape, man. Yeah.

I'll listen to it. Listen to it right after this. I'll go around Reed College later and listen to that song. I'll get weird, dude. Don't you love on top? You're going to love it. So that's my third pick. And my fourth pick

i'm going to take hmm yep so this is the first time i'm not going are you not going to the dance i'm not going to the dance instead i'm going to stevie wonder's house yeah in the 1970s i thought about this now stevie stevie wonder oh i'm'm sorry. Stevlin Judkins? Okay. Sorry. Stage name of Stevie Wonder. I'm going to Stevlin Judkins' house, and I'm playing Gangsta's Paradise for him. Okay. Okay.

Seconds after he recorded Pastime Paradise from Songs on the Key of Life. Wow. I'm like, ooh, that was good, but that gives me an idea. And then I play gangsta's paradise for him i'll be lv and i'm gonna need someone else to be coolio wow you can have the cane if i can be coolio all right perfect nice that's gonna help out wonderfully right you got yourself a deal it's your cousin marvin judkins you're like i was talking to my cousin marvin judkins kind of dropped this this dime on me so let me know what you think steve oh why are we so blah i'll be sweating dude i'll be sweating

you better be you're not lv if you ain't sweating show up sweating i'll put the weight back on for it whatever i was gonna say you got a lot of work to do man yeah a lot of buffalo wings coming at you that's a fun that's the fun work though have you heard his have you heard the entire lv version of that song because there's one oh and it ain't that dank i'll tell you i'll buy that he's more of a chorus chorus guy i think is it just the chorus over and over and over again now he had lyrics man he tried he really tried and uh unfortunately it did not stick there are so many songs off that album that have been sampled. Stevie Wonder really went and fucking did it. Yeah. Like,

like four of the songs have famous rap songs and sample them. There's the thing, like someone like Stevie Wonder, there's always songs that not always, but like every year or so I'll hear a Stevie Wonder song. I've never heard before. Yeah. Last time it happened in Atlanta in the wherever,

uh, that's like the creepy old guy in the house and Donaldald glover's the what the old white guy in it um there's a stevie wonder song at the end of it that i'd never heard and it's i can't remember even how it goes but it's so good it's at the at the very end of that episode anyway just one of those where you're like holy shit this guy like even the deep cuts on the album are great oh yeah yeah look at me i like stevie wonder okay sorry sorry i love it sorry if i'm a stevie you're officially in a dad now sorry you know it's one of those for me uh those songs that stevie wonder song that i hadn't heard until like the last probably two years as oh where i just i'd never and i was like oh my god this might be my favorite stevie wonder song

i think so too yeah always that's the one right that's as yeah oh it's so good yeah i want to listen to that right after this followed by love on top oh yeah uh is that just connie time for your fourth pick fourth pick uh i am picking a song i don't i can't even i don't even know if i can pronounce the name of this song nice uh but it is a french song written by serge gainsport for bridget bardot and it uh translated as i love you me neither and the reason you might know this song if you listen to it is it sounds like because it's a duet between a man and a woman it sounds like they're having sex during the whole song like because they're very it's very whispery it's very like pillow talky uh and i would like to do that because

the song when it came out it came out in 69 69 tight. And it was banned in several countries due to its sexual content. And so that's why I would like to plus it just be a fun song. Like, I can't even imagine the song being played live. Like what kind of intimacy you have to do on the stage to to have that song kind of give that feeling out. I can imagine. And it was made in 69, so that'll be fun to go back there. I'll probably just go like a month before

they released it. Who are you getting to perform it with? You, Sean? Huh? Sean performing it? Sean could perform it. I don't know. That's really... I rap, so is there a rap in there I mean you do have a good like whispery kind of talk

voice so I think you would work well yeah oh no hey and especially in man two guys doing this song now you're really now you're rattling the cages wake up America wake up you know sure Man, two guys doing this song? Now you're really, now you're rattling the cages. Yeah, you are.

Wake up, America. I like this. Wake up, you know? Sure. But yeah, I can't, I can't, I can't say that. I mean, it's probably written backwards on your screen, but I don't know how to say that in French. I pray to God.

I took French in high school. Let me try to find this. Somebody does that. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I see.

I get it. Let me say that again. Just clear. I prayed to God, who is a woman. And you hope she hears you. A human Yeah. Yeah. I see. I get it. Let me say that again. Just clear. I prayed to God, who is a woman. And you hope she hears you. Women would cover it. You hope that she hears your prayers. I hope she hears my prayers.

No. Jaw feel. Jaw feel. Jaw provide. Jaw rules, man. Janice, hear my prayers. Janice. If God was named Janice.

Yeah. And on the seventh day, Jan rested oh yeah yeah there you go yeah i love i love me neither i love zach harper actually speaks it and doesn't just know somebody who knows french yeah no i don't i don't like to brag but um i i took french honors all four years of high school and i cannot have a conversation with anybody i don't understand if it's said to me but i can sort of read menus and signs i believe it's french honoree damn you fucking he speaks french honorably yeah they only they only taught me how to say the nice things the things with valor

shane torres has done a great dishonor to your bathroom. Excuse me, loud big? Were you just in the bathroom? Who let beef oven go in the bathroom? You made a loud big mess in there, pal. I forget the joke, but Ian was saying

someone got kicked out of a sushi restaurant for bringing great dishonor to the bathroom. I don't think I said that. Somebody hilarious did. oh my gosh uh sean top of your fourth pick all right i'm gonna go nuts man i want to rap uh so and i i don't know we're just gonna go for it i want to rap had already been around for a while at this point quite some time but i'm taking this song my name is by slim shady i'll be performing

that i'll be performing that at that dance and we will see we'll see what happens that's only so full of pop culture references yeah well yeah i'm still doing it i mean i no no i'm not trying to talk you out of it. I'm just like, they're going to be lost. We can alter some of it. I hadn't really thought about that, honestly, until Harper did the McFly thing. Was...

Man, sorry. Really took it off a tangent. Who was Slim Shady's, like, the guy who was trying to bring up his protege? Uncle Crack? No, that was Kid Rock. Was he in that song? No, he's a black dude.

Proof. Proof? No. All right. No you i know what you're talking about since they want to know obi trice obi trice oh yeah was obi trice in that video we're in that song that was his first song so i don't know if he was trying to put anyone else on yet true it's like uh it's a i was trying to think of some rap i could do and it honestly seemed like the one that would resonate most with you know it's like uh it's a i was trying to think of some rap i could do and it honestly seemed like the one that would resonate most with you know it's got such a crazy beat like i don't even know what that instrument is or whatever they just wouldn't know what to think and it'd be fun it was that it was between a few rap songs but that was that's a sample too i forget what it's what it's up really name is sean yeah

hi my name is jordan and they'd be sitting there like all right we know your name give us the lyrics buddy boy so that whole that whole thing was about us doing your name huh yeah now that i'm singing it there are a lot of pop culture they don't know who primus is oh it's a sample of i got that by light by la b c fray uh they're gonna think that nine inch nails is just nine inch nails they're gonna think they're just nine inch nails they don't know who pamela lee is carson daly i like to think there's a there's enough is carson daly in there that was the real slim shady i, I think, where they talk.

Well, maybe. Which Spice Girl they want to impregnate? Well, they might think of the girls who sell spices down at the market, down at the dry goods store. Down at the general store? Down at the general. Right next to the oats and bales of hay. Oh, the Spice Girl? I'd like to impregnate her as well.

Ah, the Spice Girl. A comely lass. Ah, Gertrude. Esther, the Spice Girl? I'd like to impregnate her as well. Ah, the Spice Girl. A comely lass. Ah, Gertrude. Esther, the Spice Girl from the store. Ah, she reeks of cumin. Or she will. Does she let you cumin her?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't. My dad will chop it off when he returns from war. Okay, my name is. My M&M, sure. Yeah, my name is. Zach, time for your fourth and then your final picks.

The final round is a lightning round, but this one is not. Okay. All right. your final picks the final round is a lightning round but this one is not okay um all right so if for the non-lightning round uh this one's gonna involve me looking like i invented a dance to go along with it but i can get the crowd for enchanted under the sea i think i can get them to join in about halfway through with it and so i'm gonna do thriller oh with the dance yeah now they don't really know what night of the living dead is yet i think that comes out about i don't know 15 years later or something like that but i don't know no no but they're gonna i think they're gonna get the i think they're gonna get the whole gist of it and plus once you get that you know that head clap

over the top and everything like they're gonna be into that you know and at the end they'll be like vincent price we know him yeah the funk of 40 000 i'll bring vincent price yeah that's i'm gonna bring him up there just for that yeah he's a tom i think you're right in the may i think you're right in the fucking strike zone for old vinnie price yeah i do yeah he could sell pretty much anything right now yeah at that point so yeah my good buddy i call him vin price oh my god yeah his cousin marvin price actually hit me to all this so what is the instant what's the is that like a synthesizer is that an instrument i think it's a bass okay yeah yeah thriller i'm gonna have those kids doing a thriller dance yeah yeah fuck that's a good way i'm gonna wait till 11 40

11 40 to start doing that because it will be close to midnight i'll make sure everyone stays oh man yeah people are like gazooks it is close to midnight not one lie told so far you want them to stay up that late a lot of saltines and milk you know saltines and milk you're running on empty by 11 30 well plus all that cocaine all that dentist cocaine i'm gonna bring to the party you know give them some laudanum yeah moo juice and cocaine uh and your final pick a lightning round pick uh just so that i can um have a better award than ian does with his emmy uh i'm gonna there's no better event okay well i'm gonna invent in the oscar winning song uh my heart will go on from titanic i'm gonna go in and i'm gonna take that one that'll go right in

there enchantment under the sea that'll go right there sure wow that's a that's a great one because it does have a water you know like titanic yeah shaman under the sea that's what happened after titanic that's it was enchantment yeah and a lot of death but you know that's enchanting for some people that's a good one that's a good one every night you might want to gram me too you might you might outflank me oh halfway to an e got and that thing will work in any point in time near any time yeah wherever you are sean it's time for your final pick but before we get to that final pick

we gotta take another quick break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by policy genius policy genius i'm gonna hit you're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with

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And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with Policy Genius. Head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance make it easy with policy genius head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save that's policygenius.com oh we're back oh we're back the fuck no we were gone. We were gone. Hell yeah. We were out there.

We went potty. We were fucking gone, man. We were fucking gone, listeners. You don't even know, dude. We peed, bros. We peed. We walked up to the edge. We walked over the edge.

We became the edge. Ayahuasca. Heard of it? We did it. I make it a wee-we wee wee she make it a pee pee you got it can you even fucking conceive of that yeah all right we watched a documentary about ayahuasca yeah sean time for your final pick buddy last song of the night i want these kids to open their eyes before they go home imagine by john lennon wow what same dance same

dance same exact fucking i mean would that come out like set when did that come out like 19 i don't want to sound like an asshole it's 1970 yeah 70s probably yeah yeah wasn't even that far away from that time i would have guessed 72 that song there's you know that doesn't really generate it's just the lyrics are just like yeah just be cool you know imagine just live for tonight go have sex don't worry about it being the 50s go do it kids in the early o's are going to be doing it like crazy do you think there was one guy there's one guy who when heard imagine for the first time they're like imagine there's no country he's like i will no no other other than can't do Other than the good old US of A? Sure, I'll imagine there's no other countries.

He left the dance and signed up for the army. No. That's what he did. No religion? Have fun not celebrating Christmas. This guy doesn't like presents. We just heard All I Want for Christmas is You, and now you say no religion?

Fuck you. We just got it from that song, and now you're taking it away when i'm 18 i'm gonna get my ears pierced go poop in your pants i remember saying that to my dad so so many times as a kid trying to get him mad once i turn 18 oops count the dings bitch basically i'm gonna get my ears pierced dad final pick i am gonna steal lcd sound systems all my friends gotta steal it 2007 so you know i could do this and i could do this the year before two years before something like that i also feel like that's a great closer for a show.

That's just like, I'm sending you out with all that energy. Go find your friends. Life is dope. Now I'm just becoming Sean Jordan, but man, there's a, there's a lot of,

there's a lot of mayo to spread on the sandwich. We got, where are your friends tonight? Yeah. Uh, my final pick gangnam style by sigh. Oh shit. yeah uh my final pick gangnam style by psy oh shit i'm excited to learn korean what's a style yeah so you're going you're going with a dance too yeah and you get to go like oh oh oh oh oh yeah i'm fucking stoked i'm bringing it back to the

50s yeah man are there a lot of people up on stage with you is it just you sexy lady there's people doing that yeah maybe they're they think you're saying gangland style yeah there's a bunch of monsters gangland style tommy gun are you um are you you're going like to south kore? No, I'm doing this in a small town. Okay. In America. All right. In Twin Pines. Beaverton, 1955.

What's the name of the, what's the name of Back to the Future Town? What is it? Beaverton? It's not Twin, it's not Twin Pines. Hill Valley. Yeah, Hill Valley. Twin Pines was the mall. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to play the song and then someone's going to run to the phone. They're going to be like, Cy, it's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin. Marvin Cy. Just Marvin. Marvin. This is your cousin Marvin. Is this Cy Abelman? Gang of Cy by Cy. That's

my final pick. Marissa, do you have a pick? Yeah, I want to steal Wonderwall by Oasis. Oh, damn. i want to steal wonderwall by oasis oh damn i want to take credit for that yeah you are good at this great pick sniper man i love that song well to recap zach harper you won first you took all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey hit him up by tupac symphony number five by uh loud big bone beef oven my heart will go on by celine Loud Big Pond Beef Oven. Thriller by Michael Jackson. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. Sean, you went second. You took Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses.

We Will Rock You by Klan. I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Bad. My Name Is by Eminem. And then Imagine by John Lennon. Zach Toscana, you went third. You took Seasons, specifically the Letterman performance by Future Islands. You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon. Bow Rap by Queen, I Love You, Me Neither by Serge Gainsbourg, Greensburg, Gainsbourg, 12th, 5th, 12th, 12th, 12th, 12th, 12th.

All My Friends by LCD Sound System. International Players Anthem by Outkast and UGK, Raining Blood by Slayer, Love on Top by Beyonce, Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio featuring LV, and Gangnam Style by Psy. Shit. We left all of music on the board.

It's hard to even talk about it. Yeah, we did all of them. Yeah. But we want to hear what you would pick. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. We love you.

Thank you so much for your support. It means the world to us, both emotionally, spiritually, and financially. Thank you to everyone on the AFE Shaslackity. Thank you to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything subreddit. Shout out to you. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude.

Shout out to Haji Beats. And more important than all of that, oh my God, what's going to happen? Tune in next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. Beef oven. All family everything. That's right.

It's not Sean Jordan. It's Zach Toscani. I broke into head gum and I hacked into the episode without Marissa knowing to give you the hard sell on my upcoming shows. Pacific Northwest, Portland, surrounding areas. If you want to book me to perform at your house for a private show, an audience you pick, but guests I bring, surprises I bring, moments I'll give you to tell your step-grandkids, go to ZachToscani.com or DM me on Instagram at Zach Toscani and let me perform for you and your friends and your family. I, it just can't be you. I, I can, I need more people than that.

Additionally, I will be performing at the Savage Henry comedy club, July 9th and 10th with sugar Shane Torres. So if you live in the area, please come out and support live comedy. I got to get out. I got to get out of here right now. I think I hear someone coming in.

Bye. That was a hate gun podcast.