All Fantasy Everything - Soups (w/ Katie Nolan, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

SOUPS ON, KATIES BACK, GET TO LISTENING, NOW, Y'HEAR? Guest: Katie Nolan @katienolan IG: @natiekolan Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy. Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverything Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture and also cuisine. Because on today's episode, we're drafting soups. The weather's rolling in. The clouds are gathering in the sky. It's getting darker a little bit earlier.

Soup's on, baby. baby that's why and we're not doing it alone because kate tober is returning even though it's a little bit later in the month we've already had an episode in october also we haven't spoken to her about doing four consecutive episodes so this is kind of an on the spot thing but at least for one day, Kate Tober is back. Our friend, our family member, friend is not enough. Katie Nolan is here. Emmy winner, backwards hat wearer, apparent sandlot baseball player. Just talent. Just fucking talent.

That's how it is. Just on screen, on microphone, on stage, at Lids. Just a fucking talent. Katie Nolan is here with us today. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my friends, comedians, and also frequent Lids visitors, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it.

Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that just housed an apple on microphone, available only to Patreon members. If you want to hear me eating. And you do. You do. And you do. Did you get that apple at the farmer's market, man? It is a podcast where two of us, to my knowledge, if not more, have been to a farmer's market this morning and bought hummus at that farmer's market. I'll let you guess who.

I'll let you guess who right now. Time's up. It was me and Sean. Yeah, it sure was who. I'll let you guess who right now. Time's up. It was me and Sean. Yeah, it sure was. So you were all correct. Everyone was correct. Yeah, I think you all figured it exactly right. I had a canvas bag that says farmer's market on it

just so people know exactly where I am. Oh, geez, Louise. People know exactly where I am. There was an older couple playing the mandolin for all these children dancing in the slight rain. We had a bag full of apples, a bag full of pears, two things of hummus, iced coffee with no lid. I was secretly listening to that new Limp Bizkit song while Laura was shopping around. I put my headphones in.

I like it. First time ever that someone has listened to Limp Bizkit at a farmer's market? Exactly. Don't sneak that into the pastiche. Come on. No, yeah. It's explicitly against the rules. I got to be honest.

I've been struggling with this because it was hard for me to admit that I do enjoy their new song. And it was tough for me because I've never liked a Limp Bizkit song. Does it sound like old? Oh, okay. Weird.

It's weird that you've never liked a Limp Bizkit song and you listened to the new Limp Bizkit song. It's less aggressive. I never liked any Limp Bizkit. I kind of like some corn. I'm sorry. What's your Instagram algorithm again, Sean? Bites at Walmart.

That's what's happening. Antivaxxers. That's Ian Carmel still eating the apple. ASMR. I will say that in Sean's defense, the song is called Dad Vibes. Oh, that's... It's calmer than...

It's not as aggressive as an old Limp Bizkit song. It still sounds like Fred Burst, which, you know, but it's not. It is calmer. So I can enjoy it a little bit. What does a calmer Fred Burst sound like? Have you not listened to... Whoa. Have you not listened to the song no no you texted me about it it was to be fair i was at work and i left you on red at first as a joke and then which turned into then a real

left on red oh it happens i don't i don't expect anyone to reply to most texts anymore if people don't reply just it's not like somebody hates your guts. The other day, there were like 15 people who did not answer a text from me. I wasn't one of them. Motherfucker. Just to be clear. There were group threads. It was to the point where I was like, is it not going through?

So I texted Laura, and she's like, no, I got it. And I'm like, well, fuck me then. Fine. She should have lied to you. She should have known. She should have been like, no, it didn't go through. Oh, have lied to you. She should have known. She should have been like, no, it didn't go through. Oh, Kate Tober's listening to the dad vibes. I'm watching a lyrics video and I'm not excited.

No, it's not. I'm saying it was tough for me to... I struggled with admitting, but I can't... What? The faces. Yeah. I don't think we can play it. Sean, you should try rap. You should try like actual rap.

Katie, I made a rap. I am a rapper. I don't know if you know that. I'm a rapper now. This is so... I didn't know we were still doing this. I thought we shamed this out of society. I'm taking it back.

I have to admit when I like something because I get so mad when people don't. When people try to hide... Sure, no, yeah. Okay, I like that because I get so mad when people don't, when people try to hide. Sure, no, yeah. Okay, I like that. You want me back over, but you're not going to tell any of us we have to like that song, right? No, of course not.

But I just hate guilty pleasures. You either like something or you don't. We've talked about this before. I mean, we've drafted them. Yeah. I have to admit to myself that it's a catchy song and I listen to it, so I got to tell people. And if you don't like it,

you can take that cookie and shove it up your yeah. You know, Nookie stands for sex. You know that? No. Yeah, he meant sex that whole time. I went to a Korn and Stained concert a couple days ago. What? A couple days ago?

A couple days ago. Yeah. See, now Stained. Jesus Christ. Nuh-uh. It was an experience. I'll say that. Does Jonathan Davis still use that

microphone that looks like a woman he um yes it will i thought it looked like the uh a hood ornament for a car oh yeah commercial where there's like the lady singing and the guy's singing and they're like that's what it made me think yeah yeah that one the brains. Yeah, that one. Aaron Lewis is like a big come take my guns guy now. Dude, I didn't know. I didn't know the politics of the lead singer of Stained in 2021. And I walked in there and he put on a T-shirt that said Fauci lied. And then he tried to get everybody to start chanting, fuck you, Biden. That's me quoting.

I was just quoting. But I looked around and I was like, oh, no, That's me quoting. I was just quoting. But it was, I looked around and I was like, oh no, I'm in danger. Wow. He's one of those, I got my dogs, I got my guns,

I got my land, come take them, you know? Yeah. And you know what it is? It feels like, you know, if you're still singing the songs you wrote back when you were really mad at your mom, like if you're still carrying that exact same like if you if you're still carrying that

exact same anger like if you're still into stained not just like oh i'm gonna go listen to this because i listened to it back then if you're like then you're you're you gotta evolve out of that eventually or it's gonna harden and that's what i think has happened to the lead singer of stained who smoked on stage and just kind of looked like he didn't want to be there. It was something. It's been a while. How was Jonathan Davis? Did Jonathan Davis tear it up?

It's been a while. Did Jonathan Davis rip it up? Yeah, but he had COVID. He had COVID. He didn't currently have it. So Fauci didn't lie about him, I guess. But he had had COVID, and so he wasn't jumping around like he normally does. His dreads were tied back in a ponytail. Oh, okay. So Fauci didn't lie about him, I guess, but he had had COVID, and so he wasn't jumping around like he normally does. His dreads were tied back in a ponytail.

Oh, no. It's wild because I imagine him and your main man, Aaron Lewis, probably disagree on things. Jonathan Davis doesn't seem... So they felt that they needed stained on that show so bad that they were like, just give Aaron Lewis his own area with some guns in it. I feel like I may have heard that Jonathan Davis was like, I wish he'd stop going so hard in the

paint. Like I wish he'd stop starting USA chants on stage. I wish he would just chill out about all of that. Yeah, I don't know. It was at Jones Beach and the place wasn't at capacity. You know what I mean? And you could tell the people who were there for corn and you could tell the people who were there for stained. I looked like a cop. I wore like a hoodie and a t-shirt and I'm like, I look like a cop. I don't have enough happening.

What was the craziest fit you saw at the corn stains show? Oh, there was, I mean, it was the fit that you, that you would have seen at like the, a corn concert back then where you're, I still looked at it with respect.

I didn't know how old the person wearing it was, but it was like pigtails that were ratted out, like teased that were red and black. Love it. And the like makeup with the chain jewelry and the half cut shirt with fishnets pulled up and fishnets on their arms and big boots. And I was like, that girl could kick my ass.

And I just tried to make sure she didn't. I wonder what her daily is like. Is that like her Super Bowl, the Korn? I don't know. I kind of hope she's just like a secretary. She's just like a receptionist somewhere that lets it loose at Korn concerts. There was this girl there in a couple rows, like a row or two in front of us that was dancing like crazy. And you could tell these are the moves that like look good to corn,

like corn music and don't look good to any other type of music. And I was like, this is this girl's moment. She's like, I've been working all year to bust out this choreography to a guy going we, yeah. Yeah. Basically.

Also a lot of their songs based on like nursery rhymes, which I didn't remember. It was like a nursery rhyme pastiche. Yeah, Corners for the Kids for sure. It was something, you know? I never would have, when you ended that sentence with the other day, I was really blown away by that. Yeah, because at first you guys didn't react

and then I realized, it's like I didn't mean back in the day. No. 25 years ago. One of the only things I've left my house for recently was a corn and stained concert. Was this a Dan thing

or were you the pilot? Dan's co-host is a huge corn fan. Oh, big day? Where's that? Yeah. That makes sense. sense they were gonna go and they asked if i wanted to go and i was like you know what yes i do want to go i want to see what this is like you gotta go see you gotta go see i mean mud shovel by stained still slaps i was

gonna say that that song still rocks that one it was the song they played last and i was like yes of course that bass line get out of town Yeah it's a great song Politics aside I guess maybe now There's some But like Woody Allen made some good No

I don't even see what I would go to any concert Like any concert If someone had a ticket for me I would go Yeah man Some of the coolest stuff I've seen

I went to a Punch Brothers concert I didn't even know What that was stuff I've seen. I went to a Punch Brothers concert. I didn't even know what that was. I don't either, but I guess. There's Punch Brothers. I like Pina's Coladas. I don't know what that is. There's a guy who plays, he's like a virtuoso, and he plays fiddle, and then there's, it's

like that kind of music. I think there might be like a standing bass or something. I can't know the word because I'm dumb but it's that it's like almost folksy folk revivally like yeah it was one of the best concerts i've ever seen it was at carnegie hall and i was like these guys are incredible and i never would have thought to go to that i've been noticing that from watching like live performances again at the late late show where like a band will play and i'll be like that's the best thing i've ever seen and then i'll go listen to the song on like spotify or whatever and i'm like this is terrible

live music sometimes it's just fucking amazing rocks sometimes it's great but then i don't really listen to live music when let's say and this is going to be the oldest thing i say it comes up on pandora like i don't like when the live version of a song comes up i know are you serious dude internet? Internet radio sometimes. Sometimes I like to be like, hey, give me Billy Ocean type songs, but not just Billy Ocean. Sure.

I don't have Spotify. What? Katie. I don't know. Are you on Apple Music? Are you on any of those? Apple Music. Oh, well, that's okay.

David's on Tidal. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got his own playlist. I've never even, I think I got it for that what didn't jay-z drop an album on there i think i got the free that was a while ago oh they're doing some cool stuff over there they gave me a playlist and then i was so excited to hear you say like

seinfeld is back on that's me doing your voice on comedy central and i was like wow he got to say that that's so cool it is cool i said it literally right where I'm sitting right now. I love hearing your voice on Comedy Central. Well, I don't because they don't give me a free subscription via call. What? Let me make some phone calls, David. That's unacceptable. Listen, you get me Comedy Central, I'll get you title.

You don't tap into my white lady enough. You gotta just be like, hey, make a phone call for me. I was texting somebody about that yesterday. I was like, I don't tap into Katie's whiteness enough. Yeah, dude. You have to, like, weaponize that. And I got some shit I need done. Yeah, just let me know. Shoot me a text.

I'll tell you who else is white. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Daddy J. Sean Cajun, dude. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. I'm white. Daddy J. Sean Cajun, dude. Sean Cajun on occasion. The Caucasian. Mm-hmm.

Whoa. I'm white. Yeah. A mouth. A mouth. Imagine if there's one listener that's like, no way. What?

Yeah. You're telling me that, dude, I thought was Laotian this whole time. I was going to say Laotian. What the fuck is going on? Yeah. Great minds. He's so swarthy. Can I tell you about something so time. I was going to say Laotian. What the fuck is going on? Yeah.

Great minds. He's so swarthy. Can I tell you about something so funny that she's going to be mortified? I told you. Yeah. Yes. Ashley Braband was shocked when she saw that David was black. That really hurts.

What? I was like, what podcast have you been listening to? What did she think I looked like? I don't know. I think she thought you were like a big bearded white dude. That's maybe the worst thing in my life. David's told me on numerous occasions that I used to dress like a black man who was trying to get laid.

It would be crazy if another white guy said that to me. Did you wear like colored suits? He was wearing silk shirts with like a French tuck. I want to be clear. I meant like differently colored suits. I don't know why that immediately made me feel uncomfortable. I meant suits of different colors. I want to be clear. I meant like differently colored suits. I don't know why that immediately made me feel uncomfortable. I meant suits of different colors. I just want to bail now.

You mean suits of color. SOCs. Oh, God. Sean went to elementary school with a bunch of SOCs. He just has a purple suit on. As a child. Everybody's like, why is this kid trying to get pussies? Do you see that picture of Steve Harvey?

Oh, he looked great. The monochrome, the different greens. He's not a zaddy! He's his uncle. We determined this already. He is his uncle. He's a zother. What are you? You're like a... I don't know what I am.

He's a transition. You're like a zep zaddy know what I am. He's in transition. You're like a Zepzaddy. Ooh, Zepzaddy. It's crazy when I'm... It never feels like it's your kid, I don't think. Wow, that's a... I don't know anything about this. They do have ways to check.

We're waiting on test results, but it's like, you know, as soon as I get them back, then I'll start. I don't know why that's so funny that it never feels like you're a cat. I know what you mean. And I can't relate because I don't have a kid, but it's a very funny thing to say. That's how I feel sometimes when I get really cool shoes. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe these are mine.

I feel about my dog all the time. That's why the number one thing I say to her is Whose puppy is this? And it's just like, you're mine So I get it, having a dog is just like having a baby I've said it for years It's not that different, I don't think I think eventually, hopefully yours will start to understand

What you're saying and communicate back Whereas mine, I never get to have that payoff Of like, see why I didn't want you to eat that? She goes, you're right. But that's never going to happen. She's just going to keep trying to eat it. Unless my studies prove to be fortuitous. I'm in the lab.

I didn't know you were still, you picked that back up? Every day I'm working on a dog to human translator. Dog science? Yeah. Okay, sick. You can't be writing late night every day. You know what I mean? That's what all those many books are for

Right I've read all these Those BOCs I've read all these books of color My hat doesn't work backwards I'm trying to join you guys but this is not a backwards hat It's too small It's a shallow hat That was the sequel

That's really bad Farmer's market steel and hummus Yikes dude That was the sequel. Oh, no. Yeah, that's really bad. Farmer's Market Steel and Hummus. Yikes, dude. If I may direct the listeners to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, November 18th with the one Kyle Kinane at the Icon... Oh, what a show. I believe Event Hall it's called. Icon Event Hall in Sioux Falls. I would totally go to that show if it were somewhere worth...

You can fly to Sioux Falls. Well, you can fly to New York, Sioux Falls. Can you go direct? No, you can't. You can go direct from Denver, Phoenix, or Minneapolis to Sioux Falls. I think you gotta get in a barrel and roll down a hill once you get there. Where's your airport? There's an airport in town. In Sioux Falls? You just have to go from

Denver, Minneapolis, Phoenix, Chicago. It's an airport slash courthouse slash Walmart. Sorry. I got it in. It's a DMV slashthouse slash Walmart. Sorry. It's a DMV slash airport. You have to fly to Chicago and give someone pemmican, and then they'll get you there. Someone what? Pemmican.

What is that? Pemmican is like a preserved meat product. Oh, my God. Yeah, pemmican. You got to give somebody one of those coins that Arya Stark gave that dude to get to Braavos, and then they'll like, all right, we'll take you to Sioux falls watch what happens live yeah anyway bravo joke do you think aria stark was the tipping point for the girl boss movement i bet that was part of it because when they gave her with that whole finale or the maybe that was the penultimate episode but i think

everybody got mad that it was you know supposed to be the one who was told or whatever the hero who was told, whatever that stupid game of Thrones thing was. And then she came out of nowhere and just stabbed him one time and it was over. And everybody was like, that felt like you were pandering. I thought it was fine. I liked it.

I wanted her to kill him. I thought, I thought it was cool. I thought it was dope how she did it. Okay. It was just my, I was working on a thought catalog piece i'm trying to populate my new sub stack so it's just one of my feces

you gotta have content yeah feces rhymes with feces that shouldn't be how you pronounce that is it it is feces i think it is oh it's not but? But T-H-O-T-H. What, David? No, it's Ibiza. Ibiza. Ibithy. Ibithy. Ibithy. Yeah, multiple Ibithys and Ibithy. Ibithy.

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Ibithy. Ibithy. Ibithy. Ibithy. Ibith Oh, come on. David Borey is here. Cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram. Not on Twitter. You guys blew it. That's it. What?

Yeah, I got out of there. When did that happen? You know, a while ago. I wasn't loud about it. I was just like, yeah. Why'd you go? You're supposed to write a whole thing about why you're leaving Twitter with a picture of your notes app. I couldn't.

I didn't. I didn't want to engage any more than i already had you're like the person who doesn't give a speech at an award show that i actually wanted to hear what they had to say i mean i'll i'll do a whole speech about it right now okay let's hear it what happened no i was i was just kidding it just made me sad and then it was like i'd be on there and i would just like see shit that enraged me every like two minutes and i was like this isn't even real discourse i'm just pissed i felt like my twitter hadn't been funny for a long time and then i was always been funny well now you should see me in real life because i'm saving all

the bits for my friends i'm that guy looking at twitter i just feel like i'm in traffic all the time now yeah if i look at i just feel like i'm stuck in traffic and i get that upset where it's like oh feels like reading a bathroom wall it is it's a it's fucking hamster bottle of stress you just go up and you're like and then like a little more it's all day yeah yeah and then i'd be like reading it to be mad i think sometimes and that was like corny i'm not trying to go out like that i don't hate people as much as Twitter would lead me to believe yeah, that's a really good point. That's a really good point. I Get that well, we miss you you were did I already say out loud you were a breath of fresh air Did I just think it every time a tweet popped up on my timeline? I'm like now there's a guy who doesn't live his life on Twitter. No see now. You just gotta text me. Okay, much better

I'm way better at texting. Okay. Oh, am I supposed to do dates? What do you got going on? I'm filming a special for Epix in Los Angeles. Ooh. Hell yeah. On October 29th.

I don't know if you can buy tickets to that. And then, you know, just watch out. There's some stuff coming. Watch Wowie Tuesdays and Thursdays. Faded Denver. We're bringing out Chris Estrada. Friday, October 22nd. Come to that.

New sponsorship being announced soon. I got some. I'm doing stuff. It's me. I'm sponsoring it. Yeah. It's me. I'm sort of trying to get the word out about a bunch of pictures I took shirtless on a dock.

So I'm using WowWee to sort of get that out there. I understand completely. It works. We're trying to sponsor a girls' soccer team, too. We should sponsor a children's soccer team. You can sponsor my children's soccer team. Hey guys, my mom says you have to sponsor my team. What if you sell candy bars for us?

I'm just kicking the dirt. Aw, shucks. Is selling candy bars a scam? My dad turned it into one. I'll tell you that much. He sure did. Was your dad scam scaling candy bars? My dad used to take our candy to the local,

like we had a place called, I think the movie loft. I shouldn't name names. I don't want to get anybody in trouble here, but it was like a movie rental store. Kids, this used to be a thing. You'll have to just trust me.

And, and so he would sell them the candy and then they would sell it at the register. So they would buy it from us in bulk. So we would get the money and then they would sell it at the register. So they would buy it from us in bulk. So we would get the money and then they would resell it. Oh, and do the markup. Mm hmm.

Wow. You know, this is off. It's a, it's a hustle that my dad used to do that used to just, I got to tell you. So my dad used to go to these small towns and he would go paint the address on your curb before he asked or did anything he would

just go paint all the addresses and then he would make up these loosely based on reality like some sort of charity or donation or something and he would he'd use his word he'd be like it's highly recommended that you donate 20 bucks to whatever and he would just pocket all the money he made so much money but he got kicked out of so many small towns in south dakota they just would not allow him back because he would just go do this curb thing and i went with him a couple times and i told my mom because i'd come home with a few hundred bucks and i was 11 or whatever and she's like what the fuck really yeah he ordered child support and everything he would this crazy hustle come up oh what i don't know i never never come up i know it's wild your dad was running curb hustles yeah he would go paint addresses and he would tell me too he would try to teach me that he'd be like but you can make a

lot of money but if you need business yeah he'd even say like in a pinch like this if you need money you can get money doing this and then he showed me how to do it and it's like i knew at a young age like nah so is that how you bought the house i feel greasy no man drug money a whole different whole different kind of guy ivan m carmel had me selling uh knockoff mitchell and s throwback jerseys on the psu campus but i didn't move a single one he just wanted you out there trying i would have bought six from you yeah dude they were good they were they fucking weren't port downtown portland was just not the place for it i bought i bought a chinese toronto raptors jersey out of jamel's backpack once yeah dude yeah i made a deal

with this kid in middle school i would steal him x amount of jerseys and he would just buy them on a payment plan and he had paid me in change for like five jerseys over the course of six months or so. How are you stealing jerseys? Not a lot of adult supervision. Yeah. You gotta be in the mall a lot. I only ever stole once and it was from Skin Market and I felt so guilty. You went to a store called Skin Market? I know. Now that I think about it, I'm like, what? But it was this revolutionary makeup store where you could go in and like do all of your makeup and they wouldn't ever yell at you. And so I was like, look, if they don't care if I just use the product, then they're not going to

care if I just take an eyeshadow. And I remember taking a bright blue eyeshadow that I never used. And then I felt really guilty. Skin market sounds like what an unfit father would call a porno store. Yeah, I was going to say I made the curves. We're going to stop at a skin market.

You earned it. it makeup is the one other thing a store called skin market could sell that's like bath and body works yeah and body works i used to steal all the time all the damn really you're a bad kid i was such a good kid i wasn't always. I was always grounded. I got grounded one time. The one time I got caught stealing is the only time in my whole life I ever got grounded. What did you get caught stealing? What were you getting grounded for? The autobiography of Malcolm X.

I talked back a lot. I didn't, my parents would get, would be like, you can't do this. And I'd be like, why not? And she'd be like, cause I said so. And I'd be like, that's a stupid answer. Give me the actual answer. And she was like, go to your room.

And I was like, no. And then then she was like if you say one more thing you're grounded and i was like that's the dumbest logic i've yeah and that was one more thing and there i was grounded i'll buy every word of that i don't care the price katie dinner's Yeah. Shocking. Katie never shut up. Katie Nolan is here. With nothing to promote. For God's sake. Goodbye. Katie Nolan on Twitter.

Naty Colon. Now you'll notice what she did there. Was she flipped the first letters and became Naty Colon on Instagram. I never really go on that Instagram. No? Instagram's the only good one i know it's that's the one that makes me feel sad because everybody's like look how awesome my life is and you're like oh mine isn't so great right now yeah but they're lying yeah i know but i don't it's hard for me to i don't like when people lie and so to me instagram's a bunch of people lying whereas twitter i can log in and be like are you supposed to eat the whole can of soup and then someone's like yes and then you're like sick you're not on instagram i have to manually show you the picture of my houndstooth pants oh you look great i mean

you look like a guy i wouldn't have been friends with but i am and that's what i'm thrilled about that's right that's right i got grandfathered in to liking this fancy boy. You've been blackout drunk next to that dude. Yeah. At a karaoke bar. And now he has houndstooth pants. Look at him. Is that like the only picture we have together is like my eye and your nostrils? I think it is.

Hammered at a karaoke bar. The Katie Nolan GIFs account posted like a video of us. What? On, at that karaoke bar, which must have been taken from Instagram stories. Oh, that was probably back when I was posting on my stories all the time. That's usually, I do that when I'm single. You can tell because I'm just on there all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fishing for dudes. Like, oh, he watched it. I'll hit him up. You got to fish for dudes. These people post a lot of GIFs of you. That was very funny. Kevin O'Brien just dancing on the table, breaking a glass.

What do you think of that, Nady Colin? Oh my God. Wait, tap it so it lights up again. Oh my God. Jeans on, team strong. Yeah. Keeping her off the internet.

Gonna let her make her own choice. What is that? Are those Lee jeans? I walked in and she had jeans on and I started laughing. I was like, what the fuck is she doing with jeans on know i know she didn't do it herself but she was like i want to dress for success she was wearing those jeans sean walked in and he was like

are those bugle boy jeans you're wearing and the baby was like naho you know they polo well they got the big tommy hammer loop on him i just she was she was on her back so i couldn't see i loved that hammer loop yeah that was a cool hammer loop the hammer loop is kind of back it's back go to a skate park go to a skate park where there's more than scooter kids go to a skate park where there's actual skateboards scooter kids those fucking kids go to a skate park they sure do it's a big point of oh yeah they're cool now what that means society's broken if the scooter kids are running the skate park something's wrong scooter kids are cool no no no no let's stop stop okay well sean not i'm not asking do you think they're cool yeah

you're invested i don't think so i think that maybe it's cool in middle school maybe but then you stop being a scooter kid any nothing that's cool in middle school maybe but then you stop being a scooter kid. Nothing that's cool in middle school is still cool is like actually cool I can think of some stuff that I thought was cool in middle school that's still cool now Are you talking about doing it you perv? Oh my god

That's what I was talking about Oh my god David knows me He knows his buddy I saw it all over his face talking about? Oh my God. David knows me. He knows his buddy. I saw it all over his face. Maybe it's different for boys. My brain didn't go there because I don't think sex ever was as cool as I thought it was going to be.

No, it never has been. It's cool until my late 20s. It's cool, but it's not like, whoa, this was worth every minute of thinking about how cool it could be. It's usually just like, yeah, I was, all right, next. Oh, there was a pressure I didn't expect. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Oh, it's different. I feel heavy. This is intense. Kate, nothing to direct anyone toward, just fucking, just floating, just fucking being cool. Find me on your favorite podcasts. I'm just doing a podcast tour, but I have nothing to promote.

I'm not driving traffic anywhere. I'm just sitting in it. I'm just out for a drive right now going on everybody's podcast. We're just in the fucking hot tub. That's all that's happening. Yeah. Yeah. That's right.

So that's where we're at there. That's what that's about. In the hot tub with middle school Sean hot tub time machine dude just way too early to be in a hot tub man i had an experience like that i remember as a kid and i didn't like it no what just being in a hot tub with a bunch of like guys and girls at like in like seventh grade yeah and me just like knowing it was too adult yeah you can't you shouldn't you shouldn't. Don't let your, don't, you know what? If you have a hot tub, God bless you. But don't let your kid get in the hot tub.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Because something about a hot tub, the context it puts your brain in is like swingers. It just makes you think of people who want to bathe together. And then you're just like, this kid's in here and it's really fucking up the vibe. Not that I'm saying that you should always hook up with the people you're in a hot tub with but it's just kind of there is like a background noise of

like this could happen this could happen i went to a spa quote unquote in new jersey but it was just like a bath house and i i mean once i got there i was like this is the dumbest thing i could do in covid. I cannot believe I'm getting in a multi-person bath during a pandemic. But before I had gone there, I was like, get out of the house, Katie, get out of the house. So bathhouse was your first thought? Well, my friend Andrea was going and she invited me and I was like, I say no to everything and I'm trying to do a year of yes or whatever. I'm not, but I do have to stop saying no to everything. I know that.

And so I was like, yeah, I'll go. And then I got in a big bathtub with strangers and was like, this, I shouldn't have done this. There was a hot tub rental place in Portland. I forget what it was called.

No, no, no. You would go rent a hot tub for two hours. No way. That's disgusting. If you have a hot tub and like a teenager you just throw a car cover on that thing and tell them it's like the miata that they can't touch or something you

don't even need to know that the hot tub is there just hide it from them that's for daddy yeah it's never good man because you just it's so synonymous with skeevy shit it just is yeah yeah It's skeevy. It's bloatitious. Surly. I don't like it when everybody's sweating. No. Sweating and wet. You can't really tell what's from what. All the juices are running together.

And then after a while, you're all sitting on the deck and just your feet are in there. It's pick-up game soup, dude. Speaking of which. Speaking of which. You're in a big hot tub soup I'm Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter at Ian Carmel on Instagram at Ian Carmel on Jewish sneakers app. Can't cop them on there either

I watch the Late Late Show listen to All Fantasy everything Will you change your name to Big Hot Tub Soup on Instagram for like a day? I'll change it on Twitter right now. Hold on. Stop saying draft picks. Big Hot Tub Soup. Hey, my boy, Big Hot Tub Soup is coming over to this apartment party.

Is that cool? All right. Big Hot Tub Soup. The name is changed. Shout out to Arturo Draws for the fucking drawing. Oh, you look so cool in that I know I look like a Knives Out character that's like the even cooler version

of getting yourself signed I mean Simpsoned have you seen how people can get yourself drawn by the Simpsons and then it's like this is the even cooler version of that that looked so rad you know my birthday's coming up I'm just saying just I'm out here saying when is it

I'll mention it to him you know i'll mention it to him it'd be crazy because if that happened i'd be like well now i gotta frame a picture of myself and put it up in the house because it is so rad i'm doing it david i'm gonna i'm gonna share screen wait can i put it in the chat yeah i'm gonna share screen real quick it looks amazing dude yeah it's really cool whoa look at this check out the desktop look at all those tabs with porn open i got a lot of porn tabs open look at that i mean a monocle have you considered getting a monocle since seeing this fuck yeah absolutely i am i considered it to be i got i considered it before i'm wearing a turtleneck with a coat over it you should get

a turtleneck though do you have a turtleneck i don't have a turtleneck i might need to echo this entire look i might need to stand in front of a wall incredible stuff yeah i like that you got the gently receding hairline but still it looks thick which is kind of what i got going on yeah it's like elegantly disheveled yeah i love your mug i'd drink that on a mug i'd drink out of that every morning. Look at those cheekbones. The cheekbones are there for real. I mean, I've been on a birthday bacchanalia for the last two days. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday. But usually the cheekbones are popping. What's bacchanalia mean? Bacchanalia? It's a skin market. It's a skin market. Is that like an educational vacation? No, a bacchanalia is an uninhibited celebration.

Food, liquor, just everything. How come I don't know that word better? I love uninhibited celebrations. My 20s were a bacchanalia. Your 20s were a bacchanalia. You could have a bacchanalia in a hot tub. Often times people have. It's a soup bacchanalia soup.

Bacchanalia that ass up. All right, now you are saying picks. Speaking of which, we're drafting soups. KB sent three suggestions. One of them was just words that start with a certain letter. Not exactly a suggestion, but we're going to fucking... I think that'd be funny. I loved your guys' words.

I do, too. You didn't know the smart words or whatever. That was one of my favorite drafts. I think we should do words. Well, I mean, if you feel like coming back later this month, we'll see how this goes. If you feel like a second date,

we'll, you know, we'll explore words and start with certain letters. I'm nervous. Don't get all nervous. I'm nervous. What if you don't like us? If you want to.

And if you don't, it's like totally fine. But like if you want to. I don't even care. I don't even care. I got other friends. No, I'm probably busy anyway. Where do you go on a second date

if your first date is a bathhouse? You know, what are you going to do? Is this a hypothetical question or is it a serious question, Sean? I was doing a bit. I was kind of riffing off the dating stuff. I was doing a bit too. I'll take my foot off the gas. I was doing a bit too.

I was bitten your bit, dude. It was a double bit. Oh, jeez. Once bitten, twice shy. Ooh. We're drafting soups. One of your ideas was soups. We thought we brought up the other day how it's insane that we haven't done soups.

This is like, I can't believe we haven't done soups. All of us eat soup. Synergy. It's a soup time of year. It's time to fucking draft soups. And the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game. It's a big one. Rock, paper, scissors. It's a big game. This is a big game.

We throw on shoot. I'm going to call it. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, David wins. I forgot your stupid rules. Yeah, yeah. David sucks, dude. Honestly, that one felt good.

That one felt good. You always win that way, yeah. David sucks, dude. Honestly, that one felt good. That one felt good. You always win that way, too. I know, it's nuts. You throw the losing one. Yeah, backdoor, backdoor winner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's dumb. Yeah, that's what they call me. I could delete Twitter if I wanted to.

I just don't want to, you know? David Boyd, as the winner of Rock Paper Scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that it's a great question it's like trick-or-treating when you go trick-or-treating and you have the neighborhood the dope neighborhood you want to go to you start at the beginning brush can of paint and some uh some ideas sorry i guess david already knows what it is i guess david already knows what a serpentine draft is the trick-or-treating too early in the month, my guy.

What are you going to do for the rest of the... Who knows? They'll probably all suck. This one I was pretty proud of. This should have been an Indigenous Peoples Day one, I think. Or a Mario Van Peoples Day. Either one. If you're trick-or-treating and you go all the way down one street and you cross,

you come all the way back down that same street, but on the other side. That's a good one. All the other houses. And then you go down a block and then you just all the way down to the end of the street, cross the street. It assumes a lot about the structure of the neighborhood, but I will say this is one of your better examples. I appreciate that, Katie. Thank you so much. The dad stuff is really, you're very responsible now.

It's a grid style neighborhood with a lot of supervision and a lot of streetlights. Nothing nefarious happening, which to bring up words that I think make me sound smart, nefarious would definitely be on that list. Very good. It's working. Supervision. Another big one. Maybe one dude dressed up like the Joker.

Maybe. Just kind of walking around. Maybe one person dressed like the marshmallow man. He leans over to pick up a candy bar he dropped. He stands up, Joker makeup. What? Twisted. Twisted marshmallow.

Fucking twisted marshmallow. Maybe there's a house in that neighborhood that hands out hot toddies every year that the adults just kind of be like, well, maybe, you know, I'm going to go trick or treat for a second. And then you go get your hot toddy. And then you, you know. Is that a real thing? Yeah. What kind of neighborhood? Do they have like a picture? The, I'm going to go trick or treat for a second. And then you go get your hot toddy and then you, you know. Is that a real thing? Yeah. What kind of neighborhood? Do they have like a picture?

The neighborhood I'm talking about. Is it BYOC, BYOT Thermos? They give you cups and they say, if you want to bring it back, bring it back. But if you don't, they're very, I think they're doing well. I mean, those are some rich people. Yeah. That's a hot toddy house? Do they have a license to serve?

I doubt it. I think this is under. Do they have a license to thrill? Yeah, dude. I think this is under. Do they have a license to thrill? Yeah, dude. No, it's this neighborhood I'm talking about. I guess, what would it be? East Moreland-ish. But yeah, this crib just gives out hot toddies to all the adults that want one.

And they're like, bring the cup back if you want. If not, fuck it. Certainly not East Lessland. Yeah. Wow. There it is. Katie Nolan, huh? So that's how it works, Dave.

Thank you, Sean. Basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round, have another. Less Moreland. More like Westmoreland. Westmoreland. Have another bill. More Westland.

More like Westmoreland. Guitar player first. Oh, God. Wait, is he corn or Limp Bizkit? Limp Bizkit, bro. Limp Bizkit. Limp he's Limp Bizkit. Limp Bizkit. With those contacts.

I really didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. Corn is monkey, right? Yeah, heady and monkey. And fieldy or is fieldy? Monkey? They had names. Monkey.

Yeah, why do you know these? I was right in the fucking zone for corn. Just to defend myself for a moment. I was like in the fucking zone for corn. Just to defend myself for a moment. I was like in seventh grade. I didn't love it, but I knew all of it. It was very popular. Yeah, I didn't dislike corn. I liked corn.

There was an unsafe sexual element. I felt unsafe sexually to corn. And you were right to. Yeah, I think. I think it served me still feel that way go sit in the hot tub play corn on the loudspeakers and just see what happens feels like coal it's a clammy band cold there corn is a clammy clammy band oh man cream corn with a k i'm saying pics dude uh Now, David Now with a full

and fundamental understanding of how a Serpentine draft works what will the order of today's draft be? David Sean, Katie, Ian God damn it, boy! I know that you're coming strong this draft and I have to isolate you

I don't want to talk you out This is a draft where the number one pick matters, you know? I don't think so. I think that I would rather have the, now obviously I'm biased here, as I am on the hot corner as usual, I would rather have the fucking, the two in a row. David's probably going to pick a hot air balloon or something,

so I wouldn't worry about it. I'm going to be fine. I have a contingency plan. You know, I've got some deeper round soups, but I do have a first round pick that it's not going to make it to me, and I really wanted him on my team. But you know what?

Don't worry about me. Should I change my Twitter name to Deeper Round Soups now? Yeah, maybe. What was it? Big Hot Tub Soup? That was Big Hot Tub Soup. Big Hot Tub Soup. This will be fun for listeners to be like,

now that Sunday makes sense when Ian just kept changing his name to different soups. Nobody's noticed yet. We'll see. I'm writing it out. David, you have the first pick in the soups. All Fantasy Everything draft. The soup is on,

and we will get to that pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age.

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to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. In fact, the only form of media that has ever existed. This is it. If you've listened to something or watched something if you've read a fucking book no you've gone outside and seen a cloud that looked like something gross that was all fantasy everything david what's wrong i think that the dogs next to my house are having like intense sex what does that sound like awful i was at david's house uh i don't know a few weeks ago and outside it sounded like this it sounded like a dog was killing a rabbit for like

four hours i think that's them fucking that's crazy sorry the only animal i know of the noise it makes when it has sex oddly enough is a turtle what does a dog sound like one of those things and man no just a turtle i've only ever had sex with turtles turtles make that old what do dogs do they go like no it's like no way you're making that up it's not cool please do your version of a turtle having sex i wish i could see your face Please do your version of a turtle having sex. What's it? I wish I could see your face. That's what it looks like.

Every now and again, it'll be like this with the turtles. It'll be like. They sound like old guys. They sound like old guys getting out of the shower or something. Yeah, it's really gross. It is. I've seen it live and direct with Zach Toscani. Live and direct? Turtles had sex in front of you? At the zoo.

And it was the hardest I've ever laughed in my whole life. Hardest you've ever been in your whole life. I'm sorry. Hardest he ever blasted in his whole life. Sean had a turtle bone. He roasted me. I can't say anything until I'm spoken to again. Nobody speak to Sean

Let him just fucking sit in the big hot tub soup Of it all The big hot tub soup David Borey, speaking of soups, we are drafting him You have the first pick I'm taking a big, flashy, creamy Expensive French first player

I'm taking lobster bisque In the first Wow, what a way to start it off Expensive French first player. I'm taking Lobster Bisque in the first. Oh, wow. Wow. What a way to start it off. Oh, yeah. We start at France, and then we work our way backwards across the pond.

Lobster Bisque, first pick. Yeah. Expensive taste on this man. It's expensive taste. They put lobster in a cream soup? Never had it. Oh, because of the lobster? Yeah.

I don't like seafood, but never had it. I don't like lobster. Really? Yeah, I think crab is better than lobster. They make crab bisque, too. I like lobster because it's a little sweeter. The point is, lobster bisque, man. I love a lobster bisque with a little bit of the creme fraiche on top, maybe? Yes, man.

Maybe some chives sprinkled on there. Yeah, the fresh chives on there. It's so good. It's like every time I eat lobster bisque, it's like when we went to that restaurant in New York, and I was like, I don't even think I'm supposed to have access to this. Yeah. Who let me drink this?

Yeah. Who let the dogs in to drink this lobster bisque? Lobster bisque feels like a last meal, like a last meal food. this. Yeah. Who let the dogs in to drink this lobster bisque? Lobster bisque feels like a last meal, like a last meal food. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's insane. It's like what you dream a rich person would eat. It's just like a creamy seafood soup.

Are there big chunks of lobster in it or is it just all, I don't know. Good question. Good question. How do you describe stuff? I mean, is there like lobster up in it? It's so bad. Are there big chunks of lobster in it? That's a chunky lobster soup.

I don't like that. I'm going to ask a server that. Hey, are there big chunks of lobster in this shit or what? Are there big wads of fish in this or what? Also, two Coors Lights. Excuse me, what's up with this fucking lobster bisque, bro? They're like big ass chunks of fucking lobster in there, bro. Excuse me, can I get a straw?

Can you put this in a bucket on my head that goes into a straw? And also, go across the street, get me a Michelob Ultra. Also, I need a napkin. This chest pain is starting to melt. Are there big chunks? As we are at a Bills game. Yeah, there are big chunks. Are there big chunks?

I thought chunks turn it into a chowder. Does it not? Yeah, a bisque is a liquefied soup. A bisque is just like a tomato soup. It's a bisque. A bisque is a liquefied soup. What's the difference between a bisque and a chowder? I have the two options open here. I think a butternut squash bisque is like it's justied soup what's the difference between a bisque and a chowder I have the two options open here

I think a butternut squash bisque is like it's just a soup it's just liquid it's a thicker liquid but it's just liquid should I change my twitter name to thicker liquid there's lobster in lobster bisque though liquor thickwood liquor thickwood liquor thickwood dds

I'm gonna drill those holes alright liquor thick wood wait so now that you know that bisque is what it is david are you no i think it's like i'm sideline reporting there's also lobster in lobster bisque but it's because they blend it and they like it's with that thing that on their hand where they do the hand mixer right right mixer yeah based on strange broth and condensations. But I also want chunks of lobster. I've only had it with lobster in it.

I'm afraid that's too bad, David, because you took a lobster bisque, dude. I mean, I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'm afraid, David, that's a no. If there's one thing I like better than liquid, it's seafood. So you know what I mean?

Put it together. It's a liquid seafood. It's a blended. It's an emulsion blender. That is an emulsion blender. It's seafood. So you know what I mean? Put it together. It's a liquid. It's a liquid seafood. It's a blended. It's an emulsion blender. That is an emulsion blender. That's it. Or immersion blender. What's the difference? I was just watching some shit get emulsified the other day.

And that's a good watch. Emulsified? Oh, yeah. Watch the emulsifier. What is that? You put it in there and it mixes all the stuff, but it's contained. Yeah, I think that's what I was thinking of. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. For sure. Well, you risked it and you bisked it david there it is i don't know if that is a compliment or not but i'm gonna take it as such of course it was thank you you're welcome i love you famously mentioned in a seinfeld episode which you are reminding people's back on comedy central now. That's right, you are. Tuesday's at 8! That's my impression of myself. They have somebody else doing the reads for Charlemagne's thing. I'm like, where's David? It's because the God's honest truth with Charlemagne the God,

Leonard the God McKelvey is a lot to say. A lot. His name is in the title three times. The whole name. I do the radio ones, though. But anyway, that's not the point. That's not the point. Okay, okay, okay.

Leonard is his name? That's what I got hung up on. Leonard Charlemagne the God McKelvey. So Charlemagne the God is a full nickname? Yeah. I thought at least his name was Charlemagne. Yeah, I thought the God was the nickname part. That would be so cool if his name was Charlemagne. Somebody out there is named Charlemagne. Charlemagne was named Charlemagne. Yeah, I thought the God was the nickname part. That would be so cool if his name was Charlemagne. Somebody out there's named Charlemagne.

Charlemagne was named Charlemagne. Yeah, that's true. I just thought he was kind of like a one and only. Charlemagne. Kind of like Jamiroquai. Yeah. Well, don't tell that to Sean's daughter, whose name is Jamiroquai. I knew you would.

Do you call her Jamie? Jamiroquai Carmel Sr. Wait, is Jamiroquai? That's like a pretty Ricky situation, right? Where like, that's not anybody's name. It's just the name of the group. Yeah, I think so. I don't know why Pretty Ricky was my example for that.

That guy doesn't look like his name couldn't be Jamiroquai. If you look at that guy, you're like, there's no way your name is Jamiroquai. I don't know. The hat. Did you see that hat? Yeah, that guy could be Jamiroquai. Yeah, that guy's Jamiroquai Leonard.

Jamiroquai. Yeah, that guy's Jamiroquai Leonard. Jamiroquai Leonard. I actually sat him for fantasy football today. Sorry, Jamiroquai Leonard. Jamiroquai, did you say that? Jamiroquai is so serious. Oh, he's twisted. Oh, he's twisted. I hated that.

Can you imagine, dude, if he pulled the hat down? Twist it like a joint, bro joint and then he pulled it back up and fucking joker makeup dude what i don't like imagining things like that because i want to sleep tonight you know oh by the way i know you guys haven't asked yet but thank you for asking it's a pickle rick hat oh it's a pickle rick hat i can't wear flat brims forward i look real weird we had this talk last time. Oh, we did? Oops.

Do I always wear a backwards hat to this podcast? Maybe I do. Which Hot Topic did you get that from? No, I got this at a Dave and Buster's. I won this with Fair and Square. Oh, nice. I beat the stacker. I got the high points on stacker, and I got all them tickets.

I think it's called Mega Stack. It's like you hit a button when the blocks are moving across the screen and the goal is to stack them all the way up to the top. That sounds good. I know what you're talking about. It's all about timing. You guys wouldn't get it. It's weird that we haven't been to a Dave & Buster's together.

Oh, my God. I live at a Dave & Buster's. I just went last weekend. Man, I got a power card in my room right now. Next time we do the New York live show, I think early in the day we should all go to Dave & Buster's. Yes. You'll come to one in New Jersey

because they're better here because the one in the city sucks. Yeah, we're not going to that one. And we'll have a Patreon exclusive New York live show to release. That's right. Which is code for we'll be too drunk. But I'm not trying to play

code of the Dave and Buster's in New York, get beat at like Simpsons by some guy in Timberlands. I don't want that to happen. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. But you got to, we just, I'll have to look at the calendar and pick a day that's like not in the birthday rush.

You don't want to go there when there's a birthday party rush of kids. No, we'll go on like a third of the day. And you just feel very weird being drunk. No, I don't. I wouldn't. I'd beat them all in Street Fighter, just the same.

Wouldn't matter. I have a very youthful energy. Sean Jordan, what is your first pick on the soups, all fantasy, everything draft? Tomato soup. I don't want to be basic, but you know, tomato soup. Sean Jordan, what is your first pick on the soups, all fantasy, everything draft? Tomato soup. I don't want to be basic, but, you know, tomato soup.

Two first two picks? Two emulsified soups? What's an emulsified soup? What do you think an emulsified soup is? We just covered this. Just liquid? Just liquid.

Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, tomato soup, man. It's the time of the season. That's what we always had for Christmas. It was tomato soup. That was like our big Christmas part of dinner and ham and then you all and then you cut one bean into three small slices and then i said but mother do you have to work on christmas

again she's just washing clothes in a barrel wait tomatoes tomato soup and ham? Yeah, that was our Christmas. Is that like a thing? Yeah. Why do you say it like that? What did I say? I don't know if it's common. So I had tomato soup. The other part of the family would have a different,

maybe a different pick. Don't name it. I won't. No. But they would maybe have a different pick. And then there was always like a Christmas ham, which I don't really know how common. I think it's kind of common.

I think Christmas ham is common. So I just had tomato soup, and I would eat just oyster crackers for days. And I still, still, and I think a big part of it's like just trying to be thrifty in my 20s and 30s, but you get a can of soup and then some crackers, and you can just be full, and it's great.

I'm not going to sit here in Dana's office full of books. I'll never read and pretend like I haven't had tomato soup or like I don't have it deep on my list. I love it. I just, to me, I, that was,

I thought that was the number one pick ketchup. It's hot. Yeah, it is. Whoa. I mean, it's delicious hot ketchup, but if you don't have a crouton or oyster crackers,

delicious, delicious, hot ketchup, delicious, hot don't have a crouton or oyster crackers. Do I have to change my Twitter name again? Delicious hot ketchup. Delicious hot ketchup. You have to change your Twitter name. All right, I'll change it. Okay, goodbye, Liquor Thick Whip. Damn, I'm a content factory. DDS.

What is it? Somebody pay me. Delicious hot ketchup. Delicious hot ketchup. Are you going to spell it like catsup? No. Good. Put an X in there somewhere.

I don't care where. Just put one in there. An X? Delicious X hot ketchup. Delicious times hot ketchup, dude. I saw delicious hot ketchup cross up Elgin Baylor at a rec center in Boise in 76. Yeah. Yeah.

Tomato soup, man. I love it. It's classic. Good. A good dipper. His and one mixtape was a classic i'll tell you that it's from gresham actually i love i mean my favorite part of a uh i mean a grilled cheese sandwich and a tomato soup is a

fucking unbeatable combination i don't know if it. I don't know how well it stands on its own as a soup. If you want to get crazy, you can throw it in a thermos and you can drink your tomato soup. That's actually a very good point. If we were taking hot beverages, I would have respected a tomato soup pick. Oh, man. If I may help you, Sean, I know this is a weird feeling,

but the argument for, I think, is like it's very hard, very rarely does somebody blow a tomato soup. Like if you're at a place where you're getting soup and you're like, what do they have? After I saw him cross up Elgin Baylor, I blew a tomato soup. I blew it to get out of a ticket one time. It's hard to screw up tomato soup. It's a good standard soup. I like it. I like it.

I love it. I didn't think it was going to get even an ounce of hate. I can't believe. Look, I'm glad you took it. I like it. I can't get an ounce of tomato soup right now. I like tomato soup. I'm just saying, is it a first round pick? Here it is.

First round. Picked. Pick thick wood, dude. Speaking of picks. Dick, thick pick. Dick, thick pick, dude. Speaking of picks. Dick, pick, pick. Pick, dick, pick, pick, dude. Big, dick, pick, pick. This is too close to big, dick, pick, pick.

Pick wood, hot tub, dick pick soup. Speaking of picks, with the third pick. Kenny Nolan is the third pick. Kenny, your first pick in the soup draft. Chicken noodle soup. Oh, yeah. With a soda on the side, dude. Like, let's go. Chicken noodle soup is. Hold on. What? Oh, with oh yeah with a soda on the side like let's go chicken soup is hold on what oh with like a seven up on the side no you haven't heard the song no

i don't know what you're talking about i thought you're talking about like make your stomach feel better so you got a seven up on the side chicken noodle soup who is that little mama who is that something like that i was on 119th and Lexington. You never heard that song? No. Really? These dogs are like, I think there's like six dogs fucking. I'm sorry, it's so loud. So gorgie. Ian, do you know this song?

Is there a hot tub next door? Yeah, it's a bunch of dogs in it. Holy cow. Just a bunch of businessmen watching them smoking. By Young B, right? Young B? Oh, I thought it was a woman. holy cow just a bunch of businessmen watching them smoking by young b right young b oh i thought it was a woman i guess i'm thinking yeah young b could be a woman my lip gloss is popping that's a little mama for sure yeah anyway chicken noodle soup is a is a is the best soup it's got chicken it's got noodles usually got like celery or carrots my mom makes

my mom doesn't cook much of anything um i don't she never handed down any recipes because they're all printed on the back of the box like i don't that's everything i ate as a kid and so my mom has this recipe for chicken noodle soup that she makes herself she makes it every thanksgiving and it is so good and it's really easy and basic because i made it when quarantine happened and at the beginning I was like, I'm gonna have to cook. And I made one batch of soup. And I was like, that's it for that. Did you eat it with some sliced ham?

No. Soup and ham is not my family's philosophy, I guess, on holidays. It wasn't Christmas, David. It's my Hamley philosophy. It's just if you put a little pecorino Romano on top of it, a little dusting of cheese in that soup with the big chunks of chicken and the noodles.

Oh, boy. It's delicious. I'm all for it. Chicken noodle soup is great. And it really does make you feel better. It's for your soul. Yeah. I love those books.

I read all those books. Chicken noodle soup for the teenage soul. Yeah. I read those. Chicken noodle soup Soup for the Teenage Soul. Yeah. I read those. Chicken Noodle Soup for the Christian Teen. Yep. Chicken Noodle Soup for the Dancer's Soul. What the hell?

I don't know. Chicken Noodle Soup for the Paid Killer on One Last Job. That was a popular one. Yeah, you just have to say soul at the end. Yeah. Chicken Noodle Soup for the Starting Power Forward for the Indiana Pacer Soul. There were a lot of lessons in that one. There's a lot.

Specific, but I think they were helpful to one or two people. If you want to be universal, be specific. That's what I always say. Sure. Wow. Deep, yet shallow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Making narcissism work for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll find me doing that for the next 30 to 40 years. Yeah. I think I love the carrots in there. for you. You'll find me doing that for the next 30 to 40 years. I love the carrots in there. I don't usually love a cooked carrot, but a soft carrot in a chicken noodle soup, I fucking love it. Just a little bit of sweetness in there. We talked about this yesterday. A regular carrot to me

that's not cooked tastes like cardboard, but if you cook it, it tastes fantastic. There's so much flavor in a cold carrot. I love a cold carrot, dude. So i'm eating cement i oh what's wrong with you i don't like you don't like a vegetable right yeah no i'm not i'm getting better but no notoriously what are your top three now vegetables yeah french fries i like broccoli i like brussels sprouts i've been cooking a lot of Brussels sprouts during quarantine. Okay. So I'll cook the sprouts.

I like steamed broccoli. Okay. And then, I don't know, man. If I'm being honest, like corn still. Does corn count? It's weird. You like the vegetables that kids famously, the two big ones that kids don't like. I like green beans.

Another one kids don't really like. A long cut green bean. I'll cook those. So we'll do that. We'll do sprouts, steamed broccoli, and green beans. So like a long, a long cut green bean. I'll cook those. I like, so we'll do that. We'll do sprouts, steamed broccoli and green beans. Those are top tier fart vegetables too. Yeah.

Yeah. I love to fart. My effie aunts can't be in the same room as a green bean. It freaks her out. It's like a weird, like, yeah. Like the texture.

Yeah, man, I'm going to have to get a different tie for the wedding. It's just a big green bean. I'm going to have to get a different suit. Yeah. She's just a big green bean i'm gonna have to get a different suit yeah she can't be around green beans it's weird how does she feel about peas fine in their pods i think then it starts to get a little weird again but not but she can eat a snap pea she can eat a snap pea but okay this lady's lying no i've seen i've seen a visceral reaction visceral reaction because I pranked her with some green beans, and she got up and she was mad.

You just taped a bunch of green beans all over your chest? Yeah. That's the worst feeling when you do a joke. I burst in the door late at night. Oh, and it makes someone mad? When you do a joke and you see somebody get upset, and you're like, I hate the way my skin feels right now. Yeah.

You're like, this isn't, I don't know what to, I hate the way my skin feels right now. You're like, this isn't, I don't know what to, I'm smiling at your anger. I'm sorry, but I don't know. I was in middle school once and I don't know why I thought this was funny, but I swear I went into it with the best of intentions. But like somebody I was in a class with, their progress report fell out of their backpack and I picked it up and I was like, a C? And I thought that everyone would think that was really funny and she was so embarrassed and mad and then the teacher got mad at me and i was like oh no i like felt so bad i wanted to disappear inside myself and

just leave a little winning the poo hat floating there i felt so bad oh no so this it's it's not grade related but it's middle school related. Something I thought would be funny. But, you know, did you ever like used to people were walking, you'd kick one of their feet so they'd kind of trip a little bit. Yeah. And so this kid Brent, this kid Brent was walking. I didn't notice, but he had his hands like tucked back behind his backpack. So they were completely tied up. Oh, he fell on his face.

And he walked past me and I stuck my foot out in front of both of his feet. And he just smacked on his face in the middle of class it wasn't like a quiet it was like middle of class teacher was teaching and he was just walking to his desk and just stopped the whole class and everyone was like what the fuck did you do and i was like i didn't know he was gonna hit his face i did something small but it escalated it's funny now now brent looks different. I'm sorry about that. No, he doesn't. He was fine.

He was fine. He was fine. He didn't knock his teeth out or anything, but he did hit his face really hard. He died in a separate event. Damn. His brother sold me a bunch of weed like a month later at school. And that was from the last episode

with the diarrhea excuse. Oh, yeah. Full circle. All right. Chicken noodle soup, right? That's where we were. Yeah. That's my pick ian dope

i i was right having the two back-to-back picks high value here high yeah i know i'm nervous fucking about huh yeah what are you doing i got almost too many i almost got too many there's one that i really want on my list and that's really all i care about listen to the soup listen to the soup right here. Ian, listen to this soup beating in your chest. Oh, wait. Hold on, mate. Soup is one of the grosser words to me, so

I knew this was going to be tough for me to do. It's such a gross word. There's too many soups on the board. I wish I had three back-to-back picks, because I got three number one picks I want to take, but I'm going to go with a has-to-back picks because i got three number one picks i want to take but i'm gonna go with a has to be number one pick i'm taking fucking ramen yeah it's not soup yes it is if chicken soup is soup ramen is soup ramen's noodles other stuff yeah but so is chicken noodle yeah i'd count it chicken noodle yeah i mean i just

think i think of it as noodles not i didn't think i didn't think of chicken noodle i didn't think of ramen though i'm sorry i didn't mean to disallow it says ramen noodle soup right yes i'm sorry for being a visionary and i'm going all the way from top ramen i'm going from top ramen 15 cents a fucking packet you You could, you know, maybe it's because you eat it dry. Maybe that's why you don't think about the soup, but it's still soup. God, Adam does that.

That's like caveman shit. I don't know how somebody could do that. Nuh-uh, that's authentic. I'm running the gamut from the brick, the fucking brick, to the Gucci-ass, like $35 a bowl ramen that you can get in like New York City.

That's amazing. Shout out Nakamura. Shout out Nakamura. They have the bag. So much good with the hat. the shut out sorry go ahead no i was gonna say shut out ramen ramen on york in in los angeles and these dogs who can't stop fucking they're fucking dude i've never had ramen that wasn't top ramen you've never had a good ramen we gotta get you we gotta get you never ever come on bro we gotta get you out there you should get it tonight huh jump right off the jump right off the building dude you come to portland for dinner for my birthday let's get some dope ramen i will i'm gonna maybe the weekend after we gotta talk about

that off air because you're turning 40 years old yes 40-oh. Wait, why did you say it twice? You said sporty 40. Oh, sporty 40. I thought you said 40-40 and then said uh-oh. Yeah. Anyway, no, I've never had good ramen.

Although I think Top Ramen is fantastic. Top Ramen is fantastic. It's going to be very different from what you're going to... There's going to be a lot more vegetables present in the real stuff, I think.

There's some bok choy. Just prepare yourself mentally. I could just pick those out. That's not a big deal. Some bok choy in there? Pick them out of soup. Yeah. Just reaching your fingers into soup like a claw machine.

A wet soup extraction. Just burning your fingertips. Give me a bunch of napkins. I want to soak up the vegetables out of here. Like you're a postcard helicopter plucking a wayward longshoreman out of a broiling sea. Just all the limbs hanging out and they're like, ugh, those are the veggies coming out of my ramen.

We saved them. Half a soft-boiled egg, dude. Usher ramen. Half a soft-boiled. Usher. Usher ramen. Sometimes a piece of that fish cake, a little cut of a fish cake.

I don't like the fish cake. I like the fish cake. I'll just take it off. I don't understand what it is. I'll eat it cake. I'll just take it off. I don't understand what it is. I'll eat it. Fish cake. Give it to me. Fish cake.

Don't worry about what a fish cake is, dude. You might not have it. All right, so ramen you picked. Do you like your ramen broth to be clear or cloudy? Cloudy. I love a cloudy pork broth. Same, same, same. Cloudy pork broth.

I like to give it a new- I think David is silently agreeing with me, but he did a Twitter handle. Same, I'm saying same. New Twitter handle, cloudy pork broth. Okay like to get that. I think David is silently agreeing with me. Same. I'm saying same. New Twitter handle, cloudy pork broth. I feel like I'm locked outside of the house and my friends are inside playing video games. You talking about those dogs boning? I want to play Twisted Metal. Are they playing Twisted Metal?

No, no. The dogs are fucking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. They're having sex with each other Time for my second pick I think you gotta change it I did, I just changed it Cloudy Pork Broth on Twitter I'm gonna take my second pick

I'm fucking torn here I'm fucking torn here He invented the pot pie You could maybe take a pot pie if you really wanted to get behind it. No, you cannot take a pot pie. Yeah, why not? We got five rounds. Let's talk later.

Ian's torn. Natalie and Imbruglia. That's who I am right now. Nothing's right. I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm cold out of faith. Oh, God. This is how I feel. I'm cold in my entry. Why are you naked on the floor?

Illusions never change. Into something real. I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is dark. You're a little late. I'm already dark. Let's make that all line up. Have fun, Mars. Love you. That's a Canadian song, right?

She's Australian. I don't know why I thought that. Imbroglia. It's pronounced probiglia. I don't know why I thought that. Imbroglia. It's pronounced probiglia. I'm going to take clam chowder.

Yeah, nice. I knew it. I knew it. No. Which one? Oh, come on. The red or the white? Is it the red or the white? White.

New England clam chowder. The dominant, the best the white? White. New England clam chowder. The dominant, the best clam chowder. The other clam chowder is like, come on. I don't know. I had some of the other clam chowder at Connie and Ted's last time when I was in LA, and it was like, not as good as the New England, but it was very good. It's not bad. It's not bad.

It's great on its own. You know what I mean? But it's like, if I was also named Denzel Washington, you know what I mean? I have my qualities and everything, but there's clearly a better Denzel Washington. A lot of them you have in common with Denzel Washington. He's a really good friend, my friend Denzel Washington. Will you change your Twitter name? Will you change it to Denzel B. Washington now, please?

Or maybe you can't. Maybe you can't do that. Can I? No, I don't think you can you're jewish i don't think that's a good idea the internet's already mad enough at anyone that has anything to do with james corden so i'm gonna stay on the wait why twitter just hates james corden for some reason it's ridiculous i don't have twitter he's one of the nicest dudes man you get him and louis together and it reminds me of us i love it anyway it is he's just he's just a lad and the

internet hates when lads are successful chowder is the other most of the jordans have that it for on christmas and i would have tomato soup because i'm not having clam chowder chowder as a family meal is interesting to me an interesting family katie bob for apples in it too sharing chowder feels less i don't i think that the way you're saying it Makes it sound way worse You all just sit around the same trough and use your spoons I imagine there's a ladle You have it backwards

You're just ladling it into your mouth Like a shot girl at a college bar Someone just comes by and pours the chowder Right into your mouth Your family's so weird Take me to that bar. Yes! Clam chowder tub. We eat hot tub water for soup. No! Hot fish tub.

It's a hot fish tub. I'm gonna go out for a creamy fish soak you guys coming with. Hot fish tub sounds like... Does anybody feel like they're stroking out? I love this episode, but just I'm listening and I'm like... Sorry, it's me. It's me. No, I like it. I just don't know what we're saying. I like it that we're going weird.

Hot fish tub. More of that. This is mental health awareness. Cham down slam toe. Whatever we're saying. It all goes. Hot fish tub sounds like the name of a restaurant that's huge in Japan, but the name makes more sense in Japanese.

It doesn't translate. And they bring it over here, and they're like, why did hot fish tub go out of business? So it's like, well. I got a question for you. How much money would I have to pay you to go to a restaurant and you order soup and then you ask them for a rag and then you eat the soup by dipping the rag in the soup

and wringing it out into your mouth? Oh my God. Until the soup is gone. How much money would I have to pay you to do that? What kind of soup is it? If it's milk-based, that is extra toast for some reason. Tomato soup. I could do that for $100,000.

Tomato would weirdly be the easiest one. Is that mukbang? I think that's mukbang. I think that's yuckbang. Not unemployed for long. That's my prediction. Couldn't possibly be. Not once they hear that. I'm playing for a contract.

I'm in free agency right now. She's coming off the bench shooting right now. That's right. Once they find out you're willing to yuck bang chowder, they'll give you any job in this town. Yeah, it's a weird one. I like it. I'm sorry for all of it as usual. I needed it. I love clam chowder in a bowl

I love clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl on a foggy San Francisco pier I just fucking love it all I'll eat it on a yacht, I'll eat it from a car I'll eat it in a parking lot Sometimes it's fun to call it slam chowder and eat it real fast I like that It's a good time

Let me just slam chowder real quick and then I'm ready for the night i will say clam chowder is a hard thing to have on a night where you're gonna get active at all yeah that puts you down yeah no sweats yeah milk sweat clam chowder is a great last thing you do that day yeah yeah and not good for drinking because on the way back up no it's not as pleasant. Oh, yeah. I've had a bread bowl come out the other end. You feel the chunks and they're different. They're different. They're different that way.

It didn't go down like that. No, it didn't. I would like to take a moment to salute the bravery of the first person to combine dairy and clam. Yeah. Had to be a risk. Cream and clam. One worth taking. Risk for the best. I would have been one of those ones like, Jebediah, you're a fool. Yeah. Had to be a risk. Cream and clam. One worth taking. Risk for the best.

I would have been one of those ones like, Jebediah, you're a fool. Yeah. With the cream and the clam, didn't Barry Bonds get done up for taking the cream and the clam? Wasn't that what it was? No. The cream and the clam is that little black box theater they used to do stand up at in Brooklyn.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cream and the clam. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I did whiplash at the Cream and the Clam once. What is it? Creek in the Cave? Just let me let other people into the joke.

They can't have it. Don't give it to them. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I told the secret. This episode is for us. Sorry, you're right. Katie Nolan, time for your second pick. My Creamy Clam is going to choose... Uh... Second pick. My creamy clam is going to choose. As soon as you said it, I hated it. Man, you shut it down.

You shut it down right there. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everything else is gravy for people listening. My creamy. Baked potato soup. Baked potato soup. What is that?

Oh, see, I thought you guys would be heavy into the baked potato soup, so I took it earlier than I thought I was going to have to. I do present as someone who would be into baked potato soup. Once you hear what it is, you're going to. I don't know what the soup soup part is made out of. I bet they might do that emulsion thing to a potato, but it's got chunks of potato, bacon, chives. They usually put a little bit of sour cream,

like a dollop of sour cream on it. It is delicious. It's like a hot, soupy potato, and it's awful for you, but even Panera does it well. It's very good. Oh, wow. That is a...

Real quick, new Twitter handle, hot, soupy potato. Or my creamy clam is going to take. Yeah, baked potato soup. I would like to point out we've said emulsion blender 19 times and every time we said it it sounded a little bit wrong to me it is immersion blender I think Katie you said that like half an hour ago

I did! I'm so proud of myself I never know anything domestic this is a big W for me she only knows foreign shit it's just like a super blender like it just makes it it blends it more than an immersion blender it's like a wand blender that you put into something i'm putting it in the chat like a mixer but a blender like a bucker mixer you're putting what in the chat what's going in the chat

david puts up random porno shots in the chat every now and then. I don't do that. He just posts random. Why does the link not fully? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. This is what I was picturing. This is what I called a hand mixer. I meant this. Yeah, that's what I was calling an emulsifier.

Yeah. Okay. Well, what's an emulsifier? An emulsion is almost like a, like a, it's an emulsion. It's like two liquids that are unmixable. They will not blend. Okay. So like oil and vinegar, you know, when you see like the,

where like those Orbitz drinks is what it looks like. Or like Blood and Grip. Those used to gross me out. Like Blood and Grip. It's like egg yolk. But to be fair, look at the emulsion blender. It looks exactly the same. I don't know why my links are that long.

I was going to say, those are big links, dude. Can I change it again? Big links? You got are big links, dude. Can I change it again? Big links? You got thick ass links, dog. Yeah, you'll get that on these big jobs. Who's got room for all this? So a baked potato soup

is just like, it's got like a sour cream in it. Does it have some bacon, some cheddar? Just all the baked potato stuff. And you could probably put cheese on top. It's really, really delicious.

I recognize I took it too early, but I think it's worth it for me. That's one of my favorites. That's a top soup. It's a loaded soup. You know what I mean? It's not like taking tomato soup second overall. It's like a loaded soup. It's got a lot going on. I feel like we're trying to give me shit for a pretty solid pick. Sometimes I really blow

it on the first round. Tomato soup is a... What now? Nirvana Unplugged? Is that what we're talking about? Didn't you take Unplugged during the MTV draft early? Wasn't that what we made funny? What did we laugh at? Gosh, that was the first one that we did, huh? I know. Fond memories. I think of it often.

We were actually in person, hanging out. I know. Did anyone pick Room Raiders on that episode? We're talking about a different draft. I know. It's meta. We got meta. Good fun time. As soon as I explained Creek in the Cave, it was all over.

This whole thing is imploding on itself now. I've only been to a Panera Bread once and I had the worst mealy, cold, red delicious apple and I've never been since.

you can't do that I've never understood why people like Panera. It's like... I don't get what their thing is, but I guess it's soup. Oh, I fuck... I'm not proud of it,

but I fuck with Panera. It's fine. It's like a dry sandwich place. No, if you get that frontega chicken sandwich and then a cup of soup and a half of a sandwich. It always tastes like hotel food to me. It sounded like you just said frontega chicken, and that sounds like a dank name. Frontega. Frontega chicken.

All right, I'll change it again. Frontega chicken. Yeah, I get a lot of cheap dank name frontega chicken all right i'll change it again frontega chicken yeah i get a lot of a lot of cheap acid from frontega chicken panera is like a place where you have to identify the one thing you like and then stick with that there's not a there's a lot of it's not good um but man it's like comfort food for me because it was always that's like strip mall food hometown strip mall food you go to the target then you hit the panera absolutely yeah panera always like I've had a couple breakups go down in a Panera. I was about

to say it feels like a businessman on verge of divorce lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Prontag a chicken, dude. Sean Jordan, time for your second pick. Second pick, probably my favorite soup all around is broccoli cheese, broccoli

cheese soup. Love it. I knew you were going to take that. Another Panera class? Love it. Love it. Just had it two nights ago and we got a bunch of leftover and I'll eat it cold

and I'll have this, but maybe this grosses you out. I'll take a tortilla and I'll just go ham with it on the stove. Like I'll just open up the Tupperware and it's on the stove. You put ham with it? Is it Christmas?

No, not Christmas every day over here. What are we doing? Question. When it gets cold, does it... Congeal? Yeah, does it stay wet?

It's like thick. It's real thick. So... Oh, it's like eating Velveeta. Yes, yes. Jeez Louise, it's too much. That was the best reaction

to that. Yes. It's too much. It is dope and it is thick and it is dank. How much would I have to pay you, Sean? Spoonful of Velveeta. Spoonful of Velveeta cheese?

Right off the block. No, not even melted down or anything. Just right off that block. He'll pay you. Hold on. Let me make sure I'm understanding. So you're just like, get some Velveeta at the store, the block of Velveeta. And how much would you have to pay me

just to eat a big chunk of it? Cold. Oh, well, I mean, that's good. I'm telling you, you could charge him five bucks. It's bad for you, but you don't think that's good? I would do that for free any day. Does it just taste like a block of cheese? I always thought that it was like not a block of cheese.

It just tastes like fake. Melted cheese solidified. I'm a texture guy though. That's what fucks me up about it. It's like fake melted cheese solidified i'm a texture guy though that's what it's like if you took the if you took the cold broccoli cheese same thing it's like the texture just imagine if you took melted velveta and just made it it just tastes like that it's dope yeah it's too thick no it's like nacho cheese too thick man we need that nacho cheese Not cow cheese No I would I used to do it all the time

Because we had Velveeta at the house All the time Yeah I would go cut chunks off of the Velveeta brick all the time When I was a kid Damn what is your metabolism like I don't know I guess alright I guess it's pretty deece Because just all the time

Licking a Velveeta block When I waseta block i used to go eat sticks of butter out the fridge from what i hear what the hell my mom said i would just go grab sticks of butter and eat them man a kid that i grew up with used to eat a peanut butter and butter sandwich i could stop that's pretty good but with like unmelted pads of butter i get caught doing that like i don't really butter things. So when I do, if I do put butter on a potato or whatever, a biscuit or something, it's always just the pad. I don't spread it. I don't have the patience.

So I end up just having a pad of butter and then it's like one really dope bite of whatever food it is. Yeah, I get that. I get that. Yeah, man. Broccoli cheese soup. Love it. It's my favorite soup probably ever.

Used to get a real dope one at Bonanza. I peed for a really long time, and I feel very proud. For some reason, I get a sense of pride out of peeing for a long time. Does that happen for anyone else? Oh, yeah. Totally. Strong stream makes you feel good. Yeah.

Strong stream doesn't necessarily mean it goes for a long time, does it? It was a strong stream, and it went for a long time. Strong for long? Good for you, dude. Strong for long, dude. That's for long down to get the friction on it feels like a healthy prostate kind of thing sorry uh what are we doing now broccoli cheese broccoli cheese soup dude i think it's over to david in a bread bowl yeah yeah i don't need a bread bowl it's that's a lot well it's just a suggestion i was just trying to upsell you sean likes to use god's bowl yeah give me god's bowl and a rag he eats it like a

raccoon stealing it just right out of the can into his mouth i'm gonna go order a bath towels worth of broccoli cheese soup somewhere and just see what they get oh my god a bath towels where i had to go pee while you were talking about eating cold broccoli cheese soup. Let me ask you this. Have you ever eaten cold broccoli cheese soup right out of the can that came in with a spoon? I've never done that. No. Sean, don't you dare.

That's bad news. That's bad news. I'd walk. I'd be out of here. We'll get into this. I bet you have. No, I haven't. I bet you have.

I haven't, but we'll get into this. There are soups that I have eaten. We will talk about it later. No. Right out of the can. No. Yep. I said we'll talk into this. There are soups that I have eaten. We will talk about it later. No. Right out of the can. No. Yep. I said we'll talk about it later.

Unless one of you monsters picks it, but you're not going to. I have a feeling we're not, just based on what I think it might be you're picking. No, I think I'm about to go way off the rails, too. Is it going to be like cream of tomato? I don't want to know. No, I'm not going to say it.

David Borey, time for your second and third picks. Second and third picks, I'm taking the two best ways I know to get out of a hangover. Second, I'm taking fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, fuck. Third, you're taking fuck.

Yeah. I like to fuck my way out of a hangover. You like to fuck your way out of a hangover? You like to fuck your way out of a hangover? I had like a three-year period. It's been done. It has been done. It's been done. Yeah.

Can fuck your way out of a hangover. When I'm hungover, I'm like crazy horny. I don't know if that's everybody else, but I think there's something with the chemicals. No, not even a little. Not even a little bit. I've talked to you about this, Sean, before, though. I know that you do get crazy hangovers. Being hungover in a hotel room, especially.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't, you know. If you're with the kind of person that you can be like, just do it and get it done. Not like a, I can't, I can't. Bouncing around? No.

Hungover? Not for me. But like, if I'm hungover in a hotel room, don't come a-knocking. You know what I'm talking about? I think he's talking about. You said it. You said what it was.

Alone, whatever. Because you're going to be masturbated. I get what you're saying. You jerk off. You said what it was. Alone, whatever. Because you're going to be masturbated. I get what you're saying. You jerk off. I totally understand. Can we wrap it? He's dancing around it because he's a gentleman. I'll come out and say he's talking about jacking off.

The master of my domain. No, I got it. I did. I got it. Blaster of your domain. Master of his domain. David, I consider you one of the more innocent members of the all family. And so I'm going to just spell it right out for you.

I'm just going to spell it right out for you. Sean's talking about jacking off. Jeez Louise. The room will need to be cleaned later. I'll tell you that. But not right now. Okay. That's just disrespectful.

What are we doing? This has become a class issue. You're hanging up your wallpaper? What are we doing? Just aim for Christ's sake. What are we doing? David told me one time he aims into the toilet what do you want to talk about that i don't want to talk about that why would anybody want to talk

about all the drafts you gotta bring this up on the soup draft i don't want to make eye contact with david and say this but i will say it's efficient if that were to be something david felt comfortable sharing it would be one of the more efficient places to do that yeah i've thought it out yeah He didn't want the person who had to clean the room to deal with the consequences of his actions. They don't have to deal with it. I'm the creamy clam chowder. It's me

cleaning the room. Anyways, guys, I have another pick. Oh, yeah. Great. Can't wait to hear about it. I mean, pho is fucking fantastic. We didn't say enough about it. It's so fucking good. I like putting all the sauce in it, dude. So much. Yeah, I like it. It's so spicy. i like putting all the sauce in it dude yeah yeah i like it's so spicy and then like here up on federal in denver you can pretty much go anywhere and it's all pretty phenomenal and they all have really good names all the restaurants that have

pho always like 87 9-4-2-1-0 That shit will Disney Fast Pass a dump I'll tell you that for free Especially a hungover one Fuzz is one of the few things that like if I'm hungover Or whatever I'll do it vegetarian Yeah And just get all those vegetables and broth and stuff And it clears it like it gets your sinuses

All cleared out which is fun Feels good You snort in the pho dude Sometimes From way back What do you think we spent all that time in Bolivia dude cleared out, which is fun. Feels good. You snorting the pho, dude? Sometimes. We're snorting pho. From way back. What do you think we spent all that time in Bolivia, dude? I mean, I'm sorry.

Next pick. David's round three. Third pick. Third pick. Third pick. Third pick. Third pick. This third pick, this is personal. I don't think anybody was going to take it. And you said this is a hangover soup as well? Yeah. Yeah. I could have gotten it last, to take it. And you said this is a hangover soup as well? Yeah.

Yeah. I could have gotten it last. But for me, it's another one that just like, I just had some of this a week ago. I'm taking menudo. What? What is menudo? It's like a tomato and chili paste Mexican soup. It's got like tripe in it and like hominy and stuff.

And that's where I'm at, dude. I can't do tripes. Onions. I love a do tripes. Onions. I love a trifling hoe. Limes. You trifle in. Good for nothing type of broth. Yeah.

I love manila. I love it so hot. Like get the jalapenos and the lime in there. Damn. That soup would fuck me up. Spicy fish. Not fish. Tripe is not fish.

No, no, no. What is tripe? What is it? Tripe is... Oh, no. What's tripe? Stomach lining and intestine? Of what?

Cow's stomach. Oh, wee! It's got dimples on it. It's got... Oh, I can't do it. Stop it. I can't do it. I've only tried one,

and maybe it was a bad tripe. Post a long link of tripe only tried one What's the texture? It's like Jelly Almost like Is it like Calamari? No it's like It's like richer than that

I don't know how to explain it Oh man that looks disgusting Oh yeah i love it i love it in there coral i'll google it yeah i will say the people who can seem to wrap their minds around it because it's a cultural thing like anything else sure like fuck people love tripe yep yeah all right well shout out to the tripe tribe. Like, that's cool. I love people loving the stuff. Man, look at that.

A type of edible lining from the stomachs of various farm animals. Yeah. Cattle, pigs, and sheep. It's no weirder than anything we eat like other people eat on the regular. No, this is just our ignorance, you know? I mean, it's not mine. I love it. Dang, wait a just our ignorance you know i mean it's not mine i love it i eat it i tried to do it once and i couldn't fuck i just couldn't get over the texture because

i couldn't bite through it maybe i just had bad tripe is it really chewy sometimes it's like look at that unbleached pack with essential oh man look at it but now google google google menudo and when you see it in there with everything to be fair look white tripe also is fine but it's that other one was the white tribes i love that they're they've got some good albums it's just a picture of ricky martin i mean oh yeah yeah yeah handsome devil he was also in a group called menudo man if you search menudo it says Menudo without tripe. It's like the sixth suggested search. That's awesome.

Yeah, well, I mean, cowards like the internet too. There is no Menudo without tripe. That's like Menudo without Ricky Martin. Yeah, you can't do it. That's what I'm saying. Oh, tripe does look delicious. In Menudo, it's amazing. I mean, I meant Menudo looks delicious.

Don't ever tell anybody I said tripe looks delicious. She's holding up a picture of Ricky Martin right now. Yeah, looks delicious. Very tasty. I'm trying to figure out if I just got a real bad tripe. Can you get your teeth through it? Or is it really chewy? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I think I just had really bad tripe. I think you might have had bad tripe. Dang, this looks pretty good. I think I must have. Because I couldn't, it was like, it wouldn't relent. It felt like chewing on a rubber band. No, it's not supposed to be like that.

Harmony, what does harmony taste like? It's like kind of like chickpeas sort of. It's like what grits is made out of. This looks good. It's great. It's always, especially when you get it really fresh. I'm going to take your word for it. Yeah, yeah.

So you eat that when you're hungover, it knocks it right out. Oh yeah, it's a good hungover food. All that spiciness? Mm-hmm. That's like a hungover food. All that spiciness? That's like a different soup that I wouldn't draft, but if it doesn't get mentioned, we'll mention it later. Really?

It might get picked. Also, have you seen Ricky Martin in Menudo? They really dressed him like a little boy, but they dressed him like a man. Yeah. Have you seen him lately? Have you seen ricky martin 2021 he looks the same still still a fucking babe yeah yeah yeah because he's got gray in it he looks fucking good stop we got a salt and pepper ricky yeah he's better for sure i might have a salt and pepper ricky later yeah

sean jordan time for your third pick third pick midwestern beer cheese soup which what that's the same thing you just picked oh boy it's like you had to this is damn ricky martin this is a little a little closer to baked potato soup but this is pretty much just cheese that you can eat like it's like eating nacho cheese and then calling it a soup sounds like fondue to me it sounds like you're supposed to dip things in that not eat it as a soup pretty much that's what it is you can where's the line between that and the dip that's what i'll ask is it a viscous i think it's this i think this is like just viscosity i think this is just on the side of soup line this is about as far as you can go. It sounds like a dip to me. No, it says soup in the name. It's not a dip.

You can't be like, oh, it's spinach artichoke soup. Have you ever had spinach artichoke soup? Has anyone served you that? Soup in the name of love before you eat my soup.

It's thicker than tomato soup for sure. Blood's thicker than water, dude. That doesn't mean anything. Thicker than tomato soup. That's my new merch. It's going to say that on the butt. That's what people say about me.

Girl, you're thicker than a pretty thin soup. Thicker than tomato soup is so funny. Girl, you're thicker than ketchup ketchup but only by a little bit i can't get you up with a straw it's not that it's not that thick it's thick you're thickish you know you tried thickish on on uh on abc by the way i'm doing a three story i'm doing a three episode arc on thickest honestly i i'm the one who pitched that to Kenya for you. Thank you so much. I said I got a guy. He's pickish. Slim pickens.

Slim pickens. All right. All right, I'll tell you again. So what are you talking about? You've got a way to combine beer and cheese for your pick? So I don't think beer cheese soup actually has to have beer. Most of it does. I mean, I'm watching Rachel Ray make it, and they got beer in there.

Also, if you cook it with beer, right, you cook the alcohol out. Yeah. I think it has to have beer in it. I'm not. I think. It's in the name. And if you're going to argue that it's soup because it's in the name, then there has to be beer in it. Well, no, I think there's ways like kids at restaurants like in Wisconsin, I don't think they give them beer soup that had beer in it.

It cooks out. I know that. It's like Katie Nolan just said. It cooks out. You can order Jack Daniel's chicken at TGI Fridays and they don't check your ID. No, I'm just saying. I'm just, get off my case. I'm saying I think you can have it without beer in it.

I don't think you have to have beer. I'm on your case. Don't ever tell me to get off your case. I live on your case. You can have cheese soup? Is that what you're advocating for here? I'm in your case. Does any part of that surprise you that I just want cheese soup? Major case squad. Yeah, beer and cheese soup, man.

What's your favorite place to get cheese soup? Is it at that spigot at 7-Eleven? You think I wouldn't eat that straight up? Is that a ball game when you put your mouth underneath the while you were while you were gone it's not a game it's a lifestyle you were taking that powerful piss earlier david asked me how much you would have to pay me to eat velveta off the block and i was i just could not wrap my mind around that question because i'm like

you got i'd just do it i would do it because we're friends leave me leave me the block attack the block all day beard cheese david and I are the only ones with any culture on this podcast. I've been to Costa Rica. I've been out of the country. And it's just barely. It's just barely. At House of Vita, I wrote for the Tonys, and I did twice, and I did Velveeta right off the block. Twice, he said.

He went back to say twice. Bing, bing. Twice. I don't even think I've watched the Tonys twice. Shout out to you. I've been to Vancouver. I have been to Tijuana and Costa Rica. I have culture. Wow, that's

an interesting mix. I have been to Nogali. There's a lot of mustard in beer cheese soup too. I've been to whatever's north of... Mustard in the soup? Beer cheese soup is like you should dip a pretzel into it. It's for eating with a pretzel. Oh, I would totally dip a pretzel into it. It's perfect. Again, it's one of those things

that puts you down though. It's not... It'll make you sleepy because it. Perfect. Again, it's one of those things that puts you down, though. It'll make you sleepy because it's heavy. Cream, heavy, heavy, creamy. Very derisive. Well, let's find out what... Katie Nolan, she'll dip a pretzel into a soup, but what will she do for her third pick? For my third pick, look, no one's going to take this, so I could wait, but this was one of the drafts I did

without a list. Well, maybe I should just take that other one first then. Okay, with my third pick, I'm going to take Minestrone. Oh, good call. It's a veggie soup, right? Which, yeah, I don't think it's standard for Minestrone. Is it Minestrone? I just thought it was Minestrone.

Italians say Minestrone, but I think you could say minestrone. Whatever, six to one. I don't know that it matters. Either way, I like it with a pasta in it. It doesn't always come like that, but if you can put a penne in there, that's what I'm about. Beans and vegetables, tomato base, and some pasta. Yeah.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom. I'm into that. I'm into everything that's about sometimes they put like there's a green bean in there that i'm like this is fine um but if you can get one of those little tiny corn cobs a little corn cob in there a corn cob you're having a minestrone with a little baby corn in it those little baby corns but if you cut them up real nice i know i love that feeling i like it which is surprising to me because it's all vegetables and i don't notoriously like vegetables

but did you just sneeze bless you but i don't i did but i hit my mute button so you wouldn't i was wondering i was like you look like you i wanted to hear you blast that i love hearing people rip a sneeze i don't think it's gross at all yeah it's kind of like you have a. Yeah, Minestrone sneezes. Minestrone is like, it's kind of like you have a chicken soup, and Minestrone can, well, I guess there's no chicken in it. It's all veggies and beans, right? It's like the tomato-based version.

It's like another basic. It's a very basic soup, but I do like it. I like what you can do with it. Shave a Parmesan over it? If anybody takes my other soup now, I'm going to be devastated. I don't think that's going to happen. Oh, yeah, it's just you. We're in the soup weeds now. We're in the soup weeds now.

We're in the soup weeds. I can't believe I'm about to get like all four of my first fucking picks. Yeah, he's going to get matzo ball. God damn it. I knew you were. Of course I am. Of course I am. I have to.

I have to. I want to. It's delicious. And I have to. And I have to. I have to. I know. I want to. It's delicious. And I have to. And I want to. And I have to. All right?

I understand the part I play on here, which is Jewish. 100%. Bar Mitzvah and everything. You are Jewish. You are. I am taking. Jew-ish. Jew-ish.

Thick-ish. Yeah. Thick-ish. Jew-ish. Irish. Oh. Irish. I mean, you look defended on his behalf, David.

I was just making a call. It's called a callback. Honestly, I just like to fight sometimes. I know. I get that. A good matzo ball soup, first of all, it's just got a big fucking dumpling in it or several small dumplings. And I prefer several small dumplings.

I fucking love a matzo ball soup. Just like a beautiful- Is it a dumpling or is it a ball? It's a ball. It's a ball. A dumpling. A dumpling's is it a ball it's a ball a dumpling's gotta have a casing doesn't it a dumpling has a casing i don't know i don't think so i thought a dumpling was just like it doesn't have to because like if you eat chicken and dumplings that's just like a loose biscuit yeah loose biscuit ball oh i guess you're right yeah but even those do feel like i don't know think dumpling, I think like something inside of a, it's like a ravioli is a dumpling.

I think a dumpling just has to have some kind of dough. Okay. Out of respect to you, Katie Nolan, I will rescind my dumpling comment. No, no, no, no, no, do not. It's a ball, it's a ball, it's a ball. I'm not Jewish. I don't know if that's a dumpling.

I don't know anything about anything. You are Jewish. We claim you on the internet. What is matzah? Okay. Why? In what context? Unleavened bread, right?

Jewish NBA stars. Katie Nolan, Amari Stoudemire. Jordan Farmer. And those are big three. Who? Jordan Farmer. Oh. Jordan Farmer.

Jordan Farmer. That one dude from Israel. Yep. Lenny Kravitz. And then that other guy from Israel. That one dude from Israel? Yep. Lenny Kravitz? And then that other guy from Israel. What is matzah? Sure. Again, I asked.

Matzah is an unleavened bread that was baked on the back of the Jews as they fled Egypt after being released from bondage. The Pharaoh. Man, growing up, I did love matzah with a bunch of butter on it. That bread never got out of the 10th grade. That's right. With a little garlic rubbed on there, too. A little butter and garlic on some matzo.

I loved matzo. It looks like a giant cracker, but what it is is unleavened bread. And we grind that up into a meal, and then we shape that using water or Sprite. Not that there's anything wrong with a giant cracker. Shout out to my dad. That's what the shape of water was actually about, Sean. It's about fucking matzah. And then you put that,

and then you put that and you cook it in a, well, you cook it on its own and then you drop it into a chicken broth or whatever you want the broth to be made out of. Isn't it like medicinal? It's very medicinal. Anything with, well, this is why the collagen and chicken fat is like

good at making you feel better or something like that so that's why i like chicken soup it's the same principle and you can put chicken in a matzo ball soup you don't have to i prefer it without it but you can uh i just fucking love a matzo ball soup it tastes like growing up to me ivan carmel makes a mean fucking matzo ball by the the way. I wouldn't mind him making it one time when we're hanging out. I'll take some. I'll order some up. Come out to the West Coast. We don't have love for Katie Nolan. Get a matzo ball. You never come to the West

Coast. I don't have a job, guys. What do you want me coming out there for? My birthday. Anything. David, you're not even there anymore. I'm wherever I need to be. Yeah, that's true i like that like that a lot like that feels very true yeah i could pull up in all manner of places i feel like i might be coming to colorado soon at some point dog yes you should come here in december that would

be great someone else is gonna be here in december that would be fun i've never i've only been once to denver anyway enough about me. More about matzo balls. Matzo ball soup. And then time for my fourth pick. It's another crazy situation. Now it's getting spicy. I got two.

I don't know what you want. I know, and there's no way you'll take it. I would love to go out of my way to take it. I'm going to flip my laptop just out of sheer shock. See, what you're telling me is like, so I'm torn between two soups, which is the title of my forthcoming memoir. A Tale of Two Soups. And you're telling me is like, one is a little more common and one's a little less common. Don't let me sway you.

Mine's not common i'm going to take what has become a soup i did not eat a lot as a child but what has become in the last five to seven years a favorite of mine i'm taking tom kha soup the thai delicacy yeah coconut right coconut base get some fucking ginger in there and then whatever you want to cook in it. It is such a good when you're sick soup. It's such a great, like if cold weather, hot weather, it works in both because it's got the coconut going in there.

So it's kind of like a savory pina colada. I think that's what they intended by making it. What's it called? Yum. Tom Ka soup. Damn. Okay. K-H-A if you were going to Google it.

Yeah. Yeah, I knew. Sean, I think you would like tom kasu okay i didn't know that i was trying to help i thought deuteronomy was spelled d-u-d-e laura and i had this conversation just two days ago dude i thought i thought it had dude in it anyway yes that could be a different book it is a different book it's that could be a different it ranks all the playboys and in order pickup artist writes Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy. Oh, Neil Strauss?

No. Is that his name? I tried my best not to learn it or remember it. Here's the thing, though. If you read that book, because I listened to it on tape. I took a lot of walks over pandemic. Don't judge me. You did this recently.

You listened to the pickup artist book. You just went to a corn-stained concert. Yeah, you did. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, everybody, put your swords away okay we're all friends here gathering of friends a lot of stuff of us have been doing stuff that would have looked better 10 years ago supposed to leave

your guns at the door on the table paper okay i read the game though not the one not the one where the guy tells you the one where the guy talks about getting into it and like meeting that guy mystery and how it all fell apart what a ridiculous these dudes were supposed to do max they had like goggles on yeah what a it's also like i don't know what ladies are into maybe we're really into goggles we love safety and science i truthfully don't no i truthfully don't sometimes i'll see some shit made a whole movie about it what women want you know mel gibson it's always been my answer what's wrong is did something happen let me google him

that's where you want to have access to your thoughts i'm glad i got the monster can you imagine the dastardly ways in which he would use the knowledge of what women want? Man, I'd be awful. Anyways, Tom Call Soup. Katie, time for your fourth pick. Fourth pick, pasta e vagioli. Oh, vagioli.

Macaroni and bean for the uneducated. Or as my dad calls it, pasta fagioli. There's a soup of macaroni and beans that I can have? Yep. So it's macaroni. It's usually didolini. If it's traditional, I think it's didolini, which is the like. Is it a word?

What's wrong? What did I miss? Didolini is a word? Did you hear what he said? He said, there's a soup of macaroni and beans that I can have? Yeah. There's a soup of macaroni and beans that I can have? Yeah, I think Progresso calls it macaroni and bean, but it's an Italian soup. I believe it is a tomato-based soup with beans,

usually like a white bean, and then diddly-dee-pasta, which is, it's like if you took a ziti and you had to split it. It's what you do in hotels. Yeah, it's called diddly-dee-pasta. If you took a ziti that you had to split it it's what you do in hotels it's called diddly if you uh if you took a ziti that didn't have lines so like a smooth ziti and you chopped it up to share it with your family those little chopped up ziti that's a diddly that's a great description anybody who knows what it is is like she's nailing this yeah i do i totally understand and then i think

celery too there's usually celery in there it's just a good soup that you get a lot the textures of the macaroni and the bean together really work for me you don't macaroni and beans for sure yeah it's delicious it's so good i just ate some last night actually and burnt my tongue i hate the hallmark of a good tip of my tongue's all burn you when it's so dank that you you don't care i always do when i put it in my mouth. Oh, God, I'm sorry. Let me take that again. Sorry for what? I always do as soon as I eat the hot soup, go like, ow, what the fuck?

Like, it did it to me. Like, I didn't know. But yeah, it's macaroni and bean, pasta e vagioli. Very delicious. Pasta e vagioli. Very delicious. Yeah, I recommend. So that's my pick.

Slap it up. Bucca di Beppo.. This is your Beppo. Beppo. Olive Garden. Olive Garden. When you're here, you're a family. You're a family. I should probably stop doing this voice.

No, no. Keep going. Keep going. Is it my turn? Seinfeld. No, I just was saying, whenever you're ready to stop doing that voice right in front of me, I mean, it's bad enough they made Chris Pratt Mario. Now I got.

Wait, what? He's Mario. Jews like Katie Nolan and I feel very defensive of our Italian brothers is what she's saying. That's right. David, we're going to get to you. No, no, we're not. Wait, we're going to get to Sean's fourth pick. But first, we're going to take another short break.

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Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, a podcast already in progress. We are midway through the fourth round. We're drafting soup today, and we couldn't be having a better time. If you're just tuning in,

we've had a lot of laughs and I think we've learned a little bit about each other and our friendship has both broadened and deepened. I concur wholeheartedly. Then it's a quorum. Sean Jordan, it's time for your fourth pick. Well, for my fourth pick, and let me know if I can't do this

but I figure it's fitting I just want to take a giant bowl of lotion I think I hate it here I hate it here you eat it with your left index finger and you feed it to your chest what's happening?

Yum, yum, yum. It does sound good. No, don't stop. No lie. I just farted. I laughed so hard I farted. Just go back and forth between your nipples until all the lotion's gone.

Stop it. Ooh, yummy. It is yummy. Invite your partner, but don't force them. Stop. What else can you dip in it? Stop. Nobody likes this.

I kind of like it. Nobody likes this. It's fucked up, I know. Actual fourth pick, tortilla soup. Oh, okay. I like me a... It's basically taco. It's a taco, you know? What'd you say? Oh, tortilla soup? soup. Oh, okay. I like me a... It's basically taco. It's a taco, you know?

What'd you say? Oh, tortilla soup? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Also, not to never forget, that's the soup J.R. Smith threw at a coach. Really? Man, that guy.

Big piece of NBA history. It was tortilla soup. What a wild move. Why did he have tortilla soup around to throw at the coach? I don't know. I don't know. I asked. I had many questions. Did the bowl go with it? Was it hot? Yeah. at the coach. I don't know. I don't know. I asked. I had many questions.

Did the bowl go with it? Was it hot? Yeah. Was the coach trying to get... That's mostly two questions, but... Did he catch it with his mouth? The whole thing landed in his mouth, and then they high-fived. Oh, like Popeye.

Was it from California Pizza Kitchen? Does CPK have a tortilla soup? Yeah. Last I checked, which was a while ago, admittedly. I almost ate at a CPK in the Utah airport the other day. Nice. Almost. That's a good story. Yeah. was a while ago admittedly i almost ate at a cpk in the utah airport the other day nice almost that's a good story yeah i think i almost ate at a cpk in the salt lake city airport is a better story than i did eat at a cpk in the salt lake city airport i think it worked out better for

me happier ending yeah where did you end up eating oh i just got a big thing of water yeah yeah okay it was like a weird it was nature's perfect suit I just got a big thing of water. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It was like a weird, it was nature's perfect. I don't want to go into anymore. I just digested a big gulp of air instead. I don't know. Cause I was like,

I wanted to eat when I came home because I was meeting my friend. And it's just, this is, we're in the weeds now. This is a good story. Bagel boy in Sioux Falls. Uh, just, I really enjoy it.

Obviously I get a bagel to go with it not normally what goes with tortilla soup but that's what they had a bagel boy if you wanted to combine the two uh and then i would just you know go nuts a lot of hot sauce going with a bagel and tortilla soup and that's not just you describing your friendship with me and shane back oh man that was that was the funniest that was the funniest. That was good. Yeah, tortilla soup. I love it. It's great.

Put some hot sauce in there. It's like I'm eating a liquid taco, which is dank. Wow. Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't take it earlier because it is a hot sauce vessel. Yeah. These all turn into hot sauce vessels. I put it in all of it, all these things.

I think you should try menudo. I bet you'd like it. I will. I bet. I'm going to try some dank ramen this week. It's really good. Probably not tonight, but this week, I'm going to get some dope ramen.

That's my goal. Take a picture. Time for David Boren to take his... Nice. Really good. My mom used to tell me to say that to girls who would, weirdly in elementary school, we had a gang of ladies who would peek over the stalls

when you were peeing. And it was freaking me out. So I told my mom and she said, look up at them and say, take a picture, it lasts longer. And I was like, I'm not going to do that, mom. In second grade and I don't want them to take a picture of me peeing. They're sitting there with cameras waiting for permission. Yeah, why would I say that?

It's not really a time to get jokes off, Cam. Children didn't really get a lot of access to cameras back in the day, remember? Yeah, they didn't. Now they have them all the time. You really never got to, like, fuck with a camera. All you got was the one, like, Yeah, yeah. You couldn't tell what those were until later.

And if you took a picture of me peeing in the bathroom, you'd get your pictures back and be like, I wish we didn't do that. Yeah. That guy at the photo labs knows too much about us anyway you were saying it's david's pick his fourth and then his final pick as it is a serpentine draft sure is my fourth pick is another san francisco favorite still on the board i'm taking a chapino i don't even know what these soups are. It's so good. Cipino?

Yeah, it's like a seafood stew with tomato base. It's really similar to bouillabaisse, but it was invented in San Francisco, and that shit is amazing. It's got muscles in there. With a really well-toasted piece of Italian bread with a buttery, garlicky. Cipino's so good. Yeah, I bread with a buttery, garlicky. Oh, it's so fun. Cioppino's so good. Yeah, I love a cioppino, man. Okay.

Sue Carmel's favorite, too. Shout out to you, Ma. Cioppino is her favorite soup, I think. Great minds. Yeah. Hmm. Learning a lot about soup. It's a big soup day.

Yeah, totally. I don't think you're... You know what, Katie? I don't think when all is said and done you're going to be alone in that i think a lot of people who tuned into this all fantasy everything are going to find themselves walking away with a more expansive knowledge of soup soup soup soup let me get you back to your whatever that, Cipino. Cipona.

What did you say it was? Robert Cipino. And you're the Italian. I said a Cipino. I'm not doing that anymore. Katie is a Jew. Child of two Jews. Father a rabbi. What a great day Yitzhak Nolan

Baruch Atah Adonai she does know Eloheinu Alam Hamdu Allah Ben Ballin did the chain Cipino Cipino is delicious it's a great pick and your final pick I'm do Allah. Ben Ballin did the chain. Cipino.

A Cipino is delicious. It's a great pick. And your final pick? Prezi Plain Jane. My final pick is just, we just ate a lot of Chinese food when I was growing up. I'm taking egg drop soup. Egg drop soup is delicious. I love it.

It's like boogers you can eat. Yeah. You really are full kid sister mode. Yeah. Sorry. It's like boogers you can eat. Shit. I don't know what to take now.

Is it not? You're like Spinelli from Recess. It is. Oh, that's the nicest compliment I've ever received. Thank you so much. I'm a very nice guy. Egg drop soup. I like it.

My mom used to sometimes just get the packets and make it at home, you know, where you get the little seasoning packet, you crack the egg in it. Oh, yeah. My mom did that. Yeah. One of the first things I learned to do by myself, like if nobody was home, I'd make some egg drop soup. I love it. I prefer egg drops hotter, sourer cousin, but I'm not going to say any picks.

That was the hangover thing I was thinking of earlier. I thought they were kind of the same thing. Not even close to the same thing. Really? Can I pick at that? Yeah. I just said it, so it would be boring. Oh, all right.

Well, I won't then. No, you can. I'm joking. I'm joking. Ian peed on it, but you can have it if you want. I might even be wrong. Can I go? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, sure. Wanton soup? I thought you did. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's... Oh, wonton? I was thinking hot and sour soup. Oh, no. I was mean sure wonton soup on you dude yeah oh yeah that's oh wonton i was thinking hot and sour soup oh no i was just thinking wonton soup but i thought it was too close he said hotter sour hotter sourer cousin and you thought he meant

wonton soup that's why i asked it was kind of the same thing i don't yeah i would i wasn't thinking completely but anyway wonton soup i can still pick it that's okay yeah yeah pick that shit sure can i love it all right yeah it gets hotter and sour when i get my hands on it all right a lot of hot sauce and now that's a fact i bet it does yeah it does i turned it up with some hot and sour fixings i'll put some goddamn spicy mustard in there whatever hot sauce i can get at a chinese restaurant which usually isn't a lot so i gotta pull it out of my pocket and then i'll just eat the wonton soup i do love it yeah good that's a dumpling yeah yeah kenny nolan time for your final pick i'm torn between two but i have. There's one of them that I like better.

They're similar soups. One I like better, but one I eat more often. And so I guess I'll just go in the eat more often out of fairness. Miso soup. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love a miso soup that you can just sip right out of the cup. And then you can also stir up and get the tofu and the, what is the green leaf in a miso soup?

I thought that was the miso. Money. No, miso is like a paste, isn't it? Yeah, miso is a paste. Isn't it like a very thinly sliced green onion? Well, they have that too, but I think it's also, it's not spinach. It's not kale. Is it seaweed?

I think it's green onion and seaweed. Yeah, seaweed. Yeah, but the other soup I was thinking of is when you go to a- Don't say it. You're not going to pick it. When you go to a hibachi and they give you, it's like a miso soup, but it's got mushrooms. It's like a mushroomy soup. So it's worse.

That's delicious. Gross. I don't know that. No, no. It's not like cream of mushroom. It's a clear broth with mushrooms instead of like tofu and seaweed. Whatever. It's still...

They're both... Shout out to both. But I'm going to pick miso soup. Hell yeah. Excellent pick. Time for my final pick. I'm torn here. I had like six first round picks and I got all of them.

That's how wide and varied our soup picks are. This is crazy because, yeah, I thought this was going to be hard. But it was pretty easy for me. Well, you did pick two soups that were just melted cheese. One had broccoli in it, one didn't. What's up? Speaking of a soup that's just melted cheese, I'm about to take a French onion soup, which is...

Oh, that's a... I can't believe we're picking that this late. So fucking good. Just like that broth with the cooked onions in it and then like a layer of bread and then a layer of fucking gruyere melted over it. It's crazy to me. Get out of town.

It's so fucking good. Can I say not to rain on the parade? Sometimes a French onion soup is so salty. Oh, yeah. Love it. Sometimes it's a little too, you gotta like I've had it go bad. This needs to be in the hands of an experienced French soup man. Yes. But I find myself in those hands quite often. A soup

sommelier. Yes, a soup sommelier. But a French onion soup when done well, it's so fucking good. Yeah. Absolutely. With the toast and the cheese. You make that soggy bread work for you, and it's delicious. It's so good. When it comes right out of the

kitchen, the cheese is still melty. You better be serving it in a crock, and I want browned edges on the cheese. Absolutely. Yes. Get a little blowtorch out and get it done. I want to put my spoon on top of what looks like a pool cover and then push down and let the pool come in. Yeah.

That's how I want to eat it. That's what I'm about. That's my final pick, which is the final pick of the draft. Marissa, Super Producer Mars, what is your pick? I'm going to pick a dessert soup. I'm picking a Chinese black sesame soup. I've never heard of that. Can you tell us more?

It's good. I used to have it as a kid. We would have like a make at home pack. It's just like powder that you add hot water to. And it's like a sweet soup. It's a dessert soup. Hot or cold? It's very delicious. You said hot, right?

Hot. That's my favorite method of cooking is just to add water to like some powder. So I might have to try that. It's like a black sludge, but it's delicious. Yeah. I haven't even heard of that. That sounds good. Very good. Black black sludge, but it's delicious. Yeah. I haven't even heard of that. That sounds good.

Very good. Black sesame soup. Okay. Excellent. Black sesame soup. I'm going to look that up. To recap, David, you went first. You took lobster bisque, pho, menudo, cioppino. Menudo, cioppino, menudo, cioppino, and then egg drop soup.

Sean Jordan, you went second. You took tomato soup, broccoli cheese beer cheese soup tortilla soup and then wonton soup gosh just food wet food wet food katie went third you took chicken noodle soup baked potato soup minestrone pasta fagioli and then miso soup i mean banging i went last and i took ramen clam chowder matzo ball soup soup, tom ka, and French onion soup. We left some fucking bangers on the board. Yeah, I mean, my creamy clam says that we left. Butternut squash bisque.

Oh, so fucking good. Is that bisque? Is that the noun I'm looking for? Butternut squash soup or bisque? I think it's bisque, yeah. Delicious. Gumque? Is that the noun I'm looking for? Butternut squash soup or bisque? I think it's bisque. Yeah. Delicious. Gumbo? If we count gumbo? Yeah, does that count like jambalaya gumbo?

Like chili. Do we count chili? I don't think so. Is stew a soup? I think a stew is a soup. I think a stew is a soup. I looked and it's stew. So there's a difference. Stew is supposed to, you're just supposed to have enough broth to cook the ingredients and by the end of your stew, it Stew is supposed to You're just supposed to have enough broth to cook the ingredients And by the end of your stew

It's not supposed to be that liquidy Because I was thinking the same thing Well good for us Good for us Mulligatawny is a delicious soup What's that? It's an Indian soup Mulligatawny it's spicy

With spices She was the lady on the hood of that car in the white snake video It's an Indian soup. Oh. It's spicy and like with spices. She was the lady on the hood of that car in the White Snake video. Did we say hot and sour soup after all the big to-do? Yeah. No, but hot and sour soup. Yeah. Right.

Is hot pot a type of soup? No, I think that's a method to cook. A way to cook, I think. But hot pot soup. Yeah, I like it. Most soups are hot pot soups. That's where you cook them. Split pea? No, no, not for me.

No, I fuck with split pea. You ever been to Anderson's? Yeah, I've been to Anderson's. Yeah. What was the soup you eat out of the can, Sean? So there's this, if you get the Campbell's Chunky Soup, it's got so many preservatives and shit in it.

You can just eat it right. You just pop the top. No, you can't. You can. No, you can't. You can. I've done it. No, you can't.

You shouldn't. Well. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. We could do a whole nother couple hours on that, but I'm just saying. To Chef Boyardee now. I mean, if we draft it just because it can doesn't mean you should. That's like, I mean, that could be another name for this podcast. That's another name.

Yeah, I can steal a hood ornament, you know? Doesn't mean I should. That's like, I mean, that could be another name for this podcast. Yeah, I can steal a hood ornament, you know? Doesn't mean I should. Cream of mushroom? No. It's fucking good. I love it. But cream of chicken is like you're just eating chicken broth. My mom used to cook whatever it was, and I want to say hamburger helper, that would say

if you take hamburger and cream of mushroom and egg noodles and mix that together, is that beef stroganoff? I don't know, but I know that cream of mushroom was used in and mix that together. Is that beef stroganoff? I don't know, but I know that cream of mushroom was used in that way in my life, and I did not like it. Love it. I recently had some homemade beef stroganoff, though. John likes the beef stroganoff in a hotel room. Sorry, what?

God damn it. You know what I'm talking about? It's okay. God, stop. Oh, my God, with the hand motions. I'd rather you dab. Would you? No, I can never be stroganoff again.

Shout out to my Polish brothers. I had a pickle soup when we were in Detroit, and it was fucking good as hell at a Polish restaurant. Oh, does that mean you almost got in a fight with two Polish guys? I got myself in a pickle soup. Katie's Pickle Rick, bitch. Pickle Rick. It's a really ugly hat, honestly.

It's not great. I bought it after LSU won the national championship game. Because you were just so high. I was like, oh my God, I'm Pickle Rick. No, I couldn't get into the game, so I went to the Dave and Buster's next door. How often does that happen to you? to be fair you are Pickle Rick it's not like the hat's lying

I was before I had the hat and I will be long after yeah absolutely you're Pickle Rick we want to hear yours we want to hear your pick hit us up at allfantasypod on twitter allfantasypodcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone on the all fantasy

everything patreon thank you so much for holding us down we love you we've got bonus content coming very soon for you uh what else what else shout out to everyone on the afe shislakity shout out to everyone on the afe subreddit shout out to super producer mars we love you ours shout out to saint sue carmel shout out to frankie ocean shout out to Mars. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beach. Shout out to Sid the Dude. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode

of All Fantasy Everything. Oh, I blacked out. I blacked out. Stroganoff. She clackity. Oh, no. Oh, no. I was thinking about saying Stroganoff, then i did i don't know what happened that was a hate gun podcast