All Fantasy Everything - Sports Movies (w/ Rhea Butcher and Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: November 23, 2016

It's the 11th episode, and podcasts are a game of inches... so we're drafting sports movies. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Rhea Butcher and Jon Gabrus. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. I am your host, Ian Carmel. And today, ladies and gentlemen, we are fantasy drafting sports movies. Sports, all sports movies. Documentaries, works of fiction, historical reimaginings, cartoon depictions of all-star teams. Well, actually, that was a TV show, so not that one. But the previous ones I mentioned.

To do that today, I have Rhea Butcher and John Gabrus in here with me, two people who are sports fans. John, you described us as sports-adjacent people. Yeah, jock-adjacent. Jock-adjacent. Which I think accurately describes all of us. A jocksent. A jocksent. Exactly.

Before I introduce the guests and before we get into it, I just want to say we just passed 100,000, already to 120,000 downloads. And I just want to thank you for listening and for downloading it. I really do appreciate it. I know everyone has like a limited amount of free time in their week so if you spend an hour or two with us I really really appreciate that and if you have an extra three seconds go to iTunes and give us a rating and leave a positive comment

five stars only I don't want any of that four star business we don't give you four star podcasts so don't give me a four star rating I love you. I'm proud of you no matter what you do. But yeah, thank you so much for listening. Even if you don't leave a comment, I just really, really appreciate it.

We love doing this. So I'm glad you love listening to it. Enough schmaltz. Let's get on to the games. We have Rhea Butcher here, a wonderful stand-up comedian, such a funny... Thank you, Ian.

I would call you a rising star of the stand-up comedy circuit. Yeah. How do you like that? I like it. Rising. First team all rookie. I love it. First team all rookie.

Team Roy. Co-creator and co-star of the CISO television show Take My Wife. Indeed I am. Very funny. And the recipient of rave reviews. Yes. Rave Romano over here. Many rave Romano reviews. Rave romano over here many rave romano reviews

on my computer everybody loves ray um in addition to your wonderful tea why did my computer just wig out interesting for the listeners uh in addition in addition to the uh the television show you also have the podcast and popular los angeles comedy show, Put Your Hands Together. Indeed I do. Which you were the co-host of. Indeed I am. The pleasure of performing on a few times.

It's such a fun show. Yeah, it's a great show. I've done it once. Yay! It was a delight. God, it's great. It's a fun show. Now that Meltdown's gone, I would put it in the running for best comedy show in LA.

Thank you, Ian. Certainly best weekly. Rising star. Rising star. Rising star. And people can follow you at Rhea Butcher. Yep. R-H-E-A-B-U-T-C-H-E-R. There it is.

That's me. And similar on Instagram. Are you active on that? Same one on Instagram. There you go. Joining Rhea and I today is John Gabrus. Yes. Yes.

Who you may know, fellow HeadGum podcast host. I think you and I could say fellow a lot of things. Fellow everything. If you're describing me, just run through your own history and I'll add beards and take away basketball. Absolutely. Two things. We are very similar people.

B and B. B and Bs. John and I look like we should be on like two motorcycles next to each other. We definitely have like an off-brand Food Network show to go. God, that would be, I think it might be on like two motorcycles next to each other. We definitely have like an off-brand Food Network show to go. I think it might be on-brand. I think the Food Network would be lucky to work with the likes of us. We just have a show called Shut It Down, where we

walk into a restaurant and the owner's like, shut it down. Now you just can't leave. You just close the door behind us. All you can eat? Alright. We take it as a challenge. And by that I mean we're both gorgeous, slightly chubbier guys. Oh, yeah. We're just prepared for the impending apocalypse.

It's on its way. I think about that a lot. I'm a Jew, and sometimes I attribute my size to just being Holocaust-proof. You know what I mean? I've been leaning away from how Italian I am since the election. Absolute right. I'm just making sure I'm as mainstream white cisgendered male as I can be. I'm thinking of changing my name

to Stephen Churchgoer. I stopped tweeting about how much I wanted to fuck Tom Hardy out of fear. Excellent. So your podcast here on HeadGum is High and Mighty with John Gabrus. Correct. And people may have also seen your work on the MTV television program Guy Code.

Yes, if you were a 13-year-old black or Latino listening to Ian's podcast, you will remember this voice. And that is exclusively my audience. Yeah, I'd like to send a shout-out to Stussy. Thank you, Stussy. Yeah, so today we are here. Did either of you guys play sports? We're here drafting sports movies. Rhea, John, did you play sports as a youth?

I played a lot of sports, yeah. What sports did you play? Do you mean like on a team, registered, paying money? I would say. That kind of a thing? Sure, yeah. Or whatever you were passionate about. You had to have paid for it.

Yeah. I played bad. No free sports. There had to have been an angry parent coaching you. Great. I played basketball and I played volleyball. Yeah. I also played baseball in my neighborhood.

Absolutely. Because I wasn't allowed to play baseball anywhere else. That's ridiculous. It's a sexist thing. Completely sexist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. They let me play baseball.

Yeah. They made me play baseball. I didn't even want to play. I feel like couldn't we just all trade? The guys that don't want to play baseball, let the women play. They absolutely should. I got a bloody nose like half the time I went out there want to play. I feel like couldn't we just all trade? Like the guys that don't want to play baseball, like let the women play. They absolutely should. I got a bloody nose like half the time I went out there to play baseball. My nickname, my father and the other coaches called me Sony because I never swung at a pitch.

I was afraid of the ball. So I was the walk man. I would get walked based solely on people not being able to pitch. I would stand there terrified the whole time. Little did they know Sabermetrics was going to be all the day. I was money balling. The Oakland A's tried to sign you at the age of 13. Just get on base.

Just get on base. John, what sports did you play? I played a lot of sports too, but I played travel soccer my whole life, and then I played football in high school. Football and I swam in high school, and then I played rugby in college and football and I swam in high school and then I played rugby in college and men's league in New York

for like five or six years after that oh that's amazing yeah I played rugby for a couple years too in high school but it had just

started being a sport like that people cared about in Oregon you mean in America in America it's not even there unless you went to high school six months ago

I think like it's just starting to really... I did kind of a reverse. What was that movie where Sandra Bullock pretended to be in high school? Was that... No, not her. Never Been Kissed by Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore.

Yeah. Wow. All women just look the same to you. Especially Drew Barrymore and Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock is in E.T. They look more different. Goodness gracious. They couldn't be more different.

They could not be more different. Oh, my God. What was I thinking of? Wouldn't Sandra Bullock play an undercover FBI agent? Are you thinking about miscongeniality? That's what I did. Yes. Miscongeniality.

I confused miscongeniality. It's just women who go undercover all look the same to me. Women who go do something, I don't know. Yeah, it makes me the perfect mark. They have a gun at some point. I know. There's guns, chicks, guns. I get it.

I forgot a sport, by the way, because I was a skateboarder for like 10 years. Yes. Serious skateboarder. I skated in a Vans triple count. Did you really? Trown. God, I can't talk. Vans triple crown contest.

That's amazing. Yeah. I did fat kid skateboarding, which was like all my friends skated, and I just kind of died getting to wherever we were going and just stood around while they all grinded and stuff. Break a mountain dew while they all skateboarded. I was like, we're going to McDonald's after this, right? Do you still skateboard ever? Not a lot.

I tried to recently. I still got it, but my knees are like, why are you doing this? My brain, I feel like I can still do it. are you doing this right my brain i feel like i can still do it uh and it's it's just not the same as basketball or baseball where like you get back out there and you're like oh i'm not but i can try you can pick it back up right you can't skateboarding is like it's serious on your body that's some serious shit yeah my roommate uh sean jordan who's like in his oh yeah he's yeah yeah we went to burnside together oh you did yeah that's amazing there's a few comedians who was andrew machan was like a really good skateboarder.

Yeah. There's like a little community. Wit. Wit. Oh, yeah. Claire. You guys should all put together like a skate tape. That would be really fun.

I would watch it. And you still play baseball. I do, yeah. You still play leagues and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing. I play a lot of Xbox. Fantastic.

So there are our bona fides. Now, to determine the order of the fantasy draft, the two of you will be playing rock, paper, scissor, one round, and it's rock, paper, scissor, shoot. Rock. Whoever wins determines the order. You get to pick when you go and the other two people. Okay. So right now, you will play rock, paper, scissor, and I will provide scintillating commentary

on that game of rock, paper, scissor. All right. You ready? All right. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissor. Oh, no. I haven't played this in forever.

It was a false start from Ria. Okay. Is it on the shoot, right? It's rock, paper, scissor, shoot. Okay. Okay. Ready? Rock, paper, scissor, shoot.

Ooh. Bingo. John, with a paper, beat Rhea's rock. She's gone with what I had to begin with. You should have. I almost threw paper after you visibly threw scissors. I was like, oh, right, I forgot. Rhea's acting like she doesn't understand rock, paper, scissors,

but it was all mind games. Yeah, this is like choosing the kick. Yeah, exactly. She's got a little all mind games. It's a long con. This is like choosing the kick. Yeah, exactly. She's got a little loophole she's got to figure it out. Right, exactly. So, John, now you get to determine the order of the sports movie, all fantasy, everything fantasy draft. I'm so afraid.

I'm so afraid to do this wrong. Don't go scissors. I feel like I have to go first just because I have to get a movie in that I don't even know if you guys would even choose, but I'm just too afraid to not let this movie be on the list. You can't let anyone else have it. I can't let anyone else have this. I don't even know if people watch it, but it's my favorite, so I gotta

go first. I can't wait to hear it. So I'll go first. I'll go Rhea second, and then Ian, you'll get third. I'm going third. Fantastic. So that is the order. John Gabrus, you are on the clock with the first pick of the All Fantasy Everything sports movie draft. I feel like I might regret this, but my first pick, I'm just purely out of fear of this not making it or someone else getting this.

I have to go with the 90s football movie, The Program. The Program! Yes. Out of fear. Like, this movie changed my entire, like, it really did change my life. I watched it every Friday for four years. Every Friday before the first day of hitting, before the first home game, before the homecoming game. We watched it that night.

A group of guys would always get together and watch it. It was pretty famous. Maybe you remember it because it featured a scene where people laid down on the median and read magazines. Yeah. And then a kid died in Connecticut doing that. Apparently that was a popular enough scene that kids were like, this is part of playing football. He's laying down in the middle of a room.

The movie features like a rape, an assault, drug use, like all this shit. It's insane. I mean, I'm sure people have done the other things. It features Latimer headbutting the window of a car going, first team defense. Starting defense. Place at the table. I could do entire sequences from that movie and I haven't even watched it in five years it's such a good movie yeah um it's so fucking awesome they cut that scene of the laying on the yes that was

eventually cut from the movie put back in in the unrated dvd which yours truly owns um but yeah it was like not a charming sports movie it It was about like college football run disgusting. Like you talked about Latimer who was most people's favorite character. I love Latimer. He was a juicer. Latimer and the offensive lineman were my favorite characters. Oh, played by Kubiak from Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, Kubiak. Yeah. Big comics fan, that guy. Is he a big comic book fan? Yeah. Oh, wow. When I first moved here and would go to Meltdown, he would be in there all the time. Just hanging – he's gigantic, right?

Just shopping for comics, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was like, holy shit, there's Kubiak. Man, Ellie is so cool. Yeah. We just see random people. We just see random people. Have you seen the program?

I know what movie – I did not see it. I'm jealous. It's such a trip. James Caan is in it as the football coach. Yeah, James Caan is the coach. Oh, well, shit. Christy Swanson is the love interest slash physical therapist slash badass tennis player. Yes.

Yeah. Kane is able. His name is Kane. He's running for the Heisman. He's doing a little mini campaign. Alvin Mack is the linebacker who gets season-ending, career-ending injury. Alvin Mack is this linebacker who gets in the opposing players' heads so he's like,

aren't you that motherfucker? What does he say to him? He's like, you're that motherfucker that put my mama in the hospital. You hit my mama with that car. He's like, what you talking about? I don't even know your mama. There's a great sequence with Latimer, the juice head, who paints his face like Diaz de la Muerta.

And that blew up in my school. There was like four second string linebackers who painted their face like Latimer. So many people who right now are like cell phone salesmen or who work for Allstate who just painted themselves to look like monsters because of that movie. So many. We did that too. Like face paint. Our coaches had to have like a meeting with us on our team to be like enough with the face paint.

All right. Like you can have eye black. People started. It went from eye black to the ultimate warrior, like full blown tears down the face to eventually you were just deal a day when we're, you know, you were like a fucking bad guy from Karate Kid. Everyone looked like chubby offensive linemen who were part of the kiss army. Like eventually. We all shaved our heads senior year when we made the playoffs. Bad guy from Karate Kid. Everyone looked like chubby offensive linemen who were part of the Kiss Army. Yeah. Like, eventually. We all shaved our heads senior year when we made the playoffs.

We all gave ourselves mohawks. And I came home, and I was going to a Broadway show that night with my mom. This is the dichotomy of Gabriel's. I shaved myself into a mohawk, and my mom was taking us to a Broadway show. And my father's like, the fuck did you do to your hair? He, like, berated me. I was, like, hysterical, crying the entire car ride into the city. I had to wear a skull cap in a hot crying the entire car ride into the city i had to wear a skull cap in a hot theater the entire night what show were you going to see and i feel

like it was so low stakes it was like good vibrations or beauty and we didn't see good shows my mom was just like i've heard of this yeah yeah the most long island way to choose that's how shows like uh fucking good vibrations for six months. Somebody sees them on a bus and they're like, let's go see that one. It seems nice. Halle Berry, Omar Epps. Oh, right. Omar Epps is the running back. What year did this come out?

93. I was going to say 92. 19 and 93. Yeah. I mean, that was like a serious video rental spot. Yes. Big time. Because I remember posters and it was playing on a loop

on the TVs that were in the VHS shop that I would go to. I can picture the font of the VHS in my head right now. It's like that varsity lettering sort of lettering. Yes. There's a great run in that scene

where they're running, Latimer's running, he's, the opening sequence of Latimer is him doing power clean and jerks with like 315 on the bar, three wheels.

He's fucking oiled up, completely shirtless. He's like, you get any bigger, you're going to have to play offense. Wouldn't I have to be dumber? You got to learn how to read. I could read, motherfucker, see the shoe? It says Adidas. Yeah. And then they run through his plays and it's like, what do you do on this play?

He's like, kill the tight end. Yeah. What do you do on this play? Hit the quarterback so hard his girlfriend dies. Yeah. What do you do on this play? Kill everybody. Kill everybody.

That is never a defensive end's role. No, his read is always like, you take the shoot, you shoot the three gap, then you have containment on the quarterback. No coach has ever said kill everybody. Enough of this neck-high tackle bullshit. I want to take your helmet, put it in his numbers, I want to see nothing but snot

bubbles. Jimmy Conn has like the most Godfather-esque, like they give him all the fucking lines. Oh, it's perfect. It's the, it's what, it's before you play football, it's what you think football is like. Oh yeah. And then when you play like, you know, you're the backup guard for the offensive line and you're on punt return, you're like, this is not the exact same thing. But you would still, that's sort of the beauty of these movies is you could be like, you

could be the second string offensive line on the left guard. Right, and then turn it all around. And you watch that movie and you're just like, yeah, this is what I'm doing. Well, we were like not a great team. But because we were from Long Island, we had a handful of juice heads on the team. That was just looking for an excuse to take steroids anyway. They would continue to do it years after football ended. They would get access to the gym for like longer hours.

So they would play football because of it. That is an amazing play. Ria, you got it. It's so corny. It's beautifully corny. It's one of those movies that is so unashamed of itself. Who directed it? Do you guys know?

God, I will. Here, let me look it up. I was just curious. I wouldn't even know. David S. Ward is the director. That sounds familiar. Who also wrote The Sting and Major League. Oh, wow. That's what it was. Major League.

I was like, that sounds familiar. Potential spoiler alert. Potential spoiler alert. Major League coming up in early round one. It might be triggering some things with people. Watch out. The program. I see exactly what you mean.

Because there's a chance nobody else would have picked it. Right. But it's such a fucking close movie. But if someone else picked it and it wasn't me, I'd feel dishonored. I'd owe it to that movie to do it. I'm kind of bummed that I didn't get it. It was definitely on my list. It wasn't number one on my list, but it was definitely on my list.

Not on my list, guys. Not on my list. No football movies on my list. Let's find out what is on your list. Rhea Butcher, you have the second pick of the first round of the sports movie draft. It's so funny because this is going to be such a feminine pick, but I will back it up. And also, you know what? Sports can be feminine.

It's the whole spectrum. 100%. My pick is Bull Durham, which I think is the best sports movie of all time. It's so good. Like 100%. Would you say baseball is your favorite sport too, right? Yeah, it's my favorite sport. In terms of like sitting down, watching games, following the season arc of a sport, like 100%.

Based on your social media posts. Yeah, exactly. For a couple of months, I have been alerted to your love of baseball. But I mean, I also love basketball a lot. Like I grew up playing it and really, I, I was really good at it, but, um, just a kid from Akron,

just a kid from Akron, man. But, um, bull Durham is also one of those movies that like, uh, you go back and watch it again and you get something new because it's actually a movie about adults and like what it's like to live a life.

And I've rewatched it a couple of times lately. And I realized like, Oh, this isn't when I was a kid, I'd watch and be like,-watched it a couple times lately and i realized like oh this isn't when i was a kid i'd watch and be like oh man what a bummer yeah he's not playing and he didn't get famous and then you're like oh no no that's not he like won he totally won like it's great they both won they're the best at what they do isn't that funny the way you're like perspective the movie never changes at all but you perceive it like completely different completely different because he does win it's a rare sports movie with a complex ending. Yeah.

Normally it's just so straight shot ending. We did it. They won. They got it or they didn't get it. Exactly. One or the other. That is. And then Bull Durham's like, nah, nah, nah, nah.

There's a different way to win. Yeah. That's so interesting. You get your dinger and you hang it up, man. That's all. Nobody cares that he got his 500th home run. Right. Exactly. Except for him. And that's it. It's a nice little thing for him. Because who are you doing it up, man. Nobody cares that he got his 500th home run. Right, exactly. Except for him, and that's it.

It's a nice little thing for him. Because who are you doing it for? It's such a good one. Sarandon. I mean, it... Such a babe in that movie, too. It sucks because I don't know if I can watch movies with her in it anymore. Oh, I know, because she went so...

Because she's pretty much ruined our lives. But, I mean, she doesn't have that much power, but you know what I mean. Right, right, right. She had very nutty... I mean, I used to have... She stood idly by as the as uh utopia burned around yeah i mean like the day after the day after when people are like freaking out and just a flat justifiably stuff you're not like a straight white person with like i don't know 10 grand and you're checking like yeah you're freaking out because like civil liberties are actually at stake. Real shit. It's not a silly thing.

She tweeted out a picture of a lotus flower that said, from the mud, the lotus will grow. Oh, my God. Literally want to know where you are tweeting that photo. That mud is people shedding themselves because the world's about to end. We didn't have to get mud. Lotus flowers also grow from good soil. From somebody not going far enough on civil rights like let's just push them further but instead like literally everything's just gone to shit

yeah like completely but anyway bull durham is a great movie it is a great kevin costa and tim robbins didn't speak out as far as i know on the uh well tim robbins did, I think. He probably did. Actually, anyway, it doesn't matter. They supported John Edwards in 2004, so they can go die. Absolutely. You're so pure, you supported John Edwards. Right, exactly. Yeah, the least pure dude. Bull Durham is such a good movie.

Baseball, I think, is the sport, and maybe you agree, maybe that translates best to movies i think so it's so romantic few movie a few sports that you could truly have a dialogue during the game right speed of baseball it's like you can talk like football would be weird like it's hard to like shoot a scene where like a running back and a tight end or chatting yeah if anything is going on you're watching what's going on because you're gonna have a 10 minute conversation about somebody touching somebody the wrong way in a play and there's flags and then the guy's gonna talk to everybody for give a sermon on a sunday right that's literally a play clock counting down yeah ridiculous yeah wrap it up but i i do love how like passive a baseball game can be. You can go to it and just be in a moment. I love just attending a baseball game with a scorecard.

Get up and walk around a little bit. Talk to people. There is nothing better to me in sports than going into a baseball stadium and walking in. And when you catch the first glimpse of the field, all stretched out, all green in front of you, there's nothing like that. And this past year, I got to twice walk through a tunnel. Actually, three times. Oh, you? Walked through a tunnel to get onto a baseball field.

Will you please talk about that? Which was one of the craziest experiences I've ever had. The first time was actually in Bentonville, Arkansas. Yeah. And it was a minor league team. What was that all about? I was there covering the film festival for Geena Davis. Oh, amazing.

And they do a League of Their Own reunion softball game, and I was covering that. We all just eyeballed each other when you said League of Their Own. Right, yeah. I was like, oh. I know. Hey, just saying what my life is like. I also. I do. Hey, just saying what my life is like. I also. I do dope shit.

Yeah. But there was an original Peach there. She was 92. What? And she played. She played in the game? I mean, I have like a whole, I don't know how much time we've got, but it's like. As much as you want.

It's a pretty great story. Yeah. I saw her. She was wearing one of the original like promo jerseys for the movie. Yeah. Because it says Peaches on the front and then A League of Their Own embroidered on the back and she had all these pins of the women

that she played baseball with. Right. I was like, oh, I really like that pin. She's like, oh, that's my friend Pepper. She wrote the song. So that song that they sing in the movie was real. What? And her friend wrote it and they used to sing it.

And so I was like, oh, that's amazing. And then she goes to Megan Kavanagan cavanaugh who's marla hooch what a hitter yeah she was coaching the one of the teams because she broke her arm and she goes up to ask her uh genie i can't think of her last name anyway her name was genie she says can i go hit and i was like oh my god this one this 94 year old woman is gonna go hit and she's like of course of course they like grab her a bat she She goes to the on-deck circle. And then all the actors from the movie decide, like, let's sing the song. Yeah. So they all, like, congregate at the mount.

I have this on video, too, like, on my phone. They all get together, start singing the song. And I'm just, like, having my own personal moment of, like, I went to see that shit in the theater. Yeah. I got home from that movie. I played baseball in my yard. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I can do whatever I want. I can do it.

And then, like, having this experience of seeing those women actually singing that song in front of me, like, losing it. And then I look to my right, and there's Jeannie on deck singing the dang song. Oh, my God. Standing there like an athlete, because she is an athlete. And she played this sport professionally when she was in her 20s just like singing it like it's the national anthem and i just like turned my camera to her and i like i was 100 crying yeah i have goosebumps right now yeah my face hurts when i'm smiling i just like chewed through my invisalign i was like gritting my teeth so hard during that start so so then she gets up there

to to bat guy throws first pitch, swings, misses. Second pitch, swings, misses. Third pitch, swings, misses. And she goes to the ump. She goes, can I get one more? Like, people aren't going to give her as many as she wants. No, you're out of here, G. They're kicking dirt on her and shit.

So he throws another one. She makes contact. It's a comebacker to the mound. The guy goes to field. It falls over. First base comes in, tries tries to field it can't pick it up so then basically everybody's like trying to field it not not fielding it megan cavanaugh's at third going go home go home she's inside the park home run everybody runs up i mean i'm getting chills just thinking about yeah that's fucking awesome one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen in my life that's so but also like

heartbreaking because she's like one of the last women that played professional baseball and then the only other remembrance we have of that is the actors who portrayed the women that did that there's no lineage you know that's like right there's no there's no torchbearer yeah we don't yeah and i think that's like the biggest or the saddest part about like women not being left out of sports is that we don't get to be part of the history of it right even no matter how much we play it people discount it like oh well that's not real sports right it's just we don't get to be part of the whole thing you know even as fans we get discounted as like not because people call me on my baseball fandom all the time of like oh yeah so what are these stats like do you do that to everybody i've seen

it i've seen it happening i've never i've never been called out on my yeah yeah nobody's like so uh what's lebron's percentage from the corner i don't know i just like the jerseys lebron might not know yeah yeah exactly i hate that shit even the teams do it so like the dallas mavericks had a uh uh they offered a class where it was like bring your girlfriend and we'll explain basketball to her. I'm like, fuck you, kid. Good God. People are basketball fans. Yeah, but it's a perfect way to come back to Bull Durham because what I also like about that movie is it's a woman who's totally in charge of her sexuality, into it, and also into the game and understands the game on a spiritual level, which is what a lot of men think about that game, too. 100%.

108 stitches on a baseball, 108 beads on a rosary. 108 years since the Cubs won a World Series. But, I mean, now the world's ending, so thanks a lot to the Cubs. At least the Cubs got one in. They unleashed the goat on everybody else. God, right? Yeah, yeah. It was America that didn't let the goat in, though.

Uh-huh. God. There's the famous speech from Bull Durham, which is so iconic. Oh, yeah. I can't do it off the top of my head. Yeah, I don't know the whole thing. I believe. Yeah, the I believe things, which like Bill Simmons ripped off.

Ill-fated any given Wednesday. We miss you. We miss you, Bill. Yeah, just such a great movie. Such a romantic baseball movie. And that's your favorite baseball movie, Bull Durham? That's my favorite sports movie. That's your a great movie. Such a romantic baseball movie. And that's your favorite baseball movie, Bull Durham? That's my favorite sports movie. That's your favorite sports movie. Wow.

I would say it's in my top ten of movies also. It's such a good movie. Why? Because it's also from just a movie-making standpoint. Yeah. Like, one of my favorite things about movies is movies that don't waste any time. And that one does not. Zero.

Yeah. There's nothing in it that you don't need. Yeah. Yeah. And see the whole thing. Insane Cast. Yeah. Of the time, too. Oh, yeah. time and that one does not zero there's nothing in it that you don't need yeah you yeah and see the whole thing same cast yeah like uh of the time oh yeah that's like a fucking mount rushmore even you know who you know i like who uh we don't see much of anymore is robert wool oh who's in that movie arliss come on baby come on baby he's so good at it he's so good at it. He is so good. He's such a lovable yutz. I really like wool.

And I tattooed it. You left a hanging curve. Yeah, and I tattooed it. Amazing pick, Bull Durham, your number one pick. It is now moving to, moving? Moved? Whatever the fuck the word is. It is currently moving.

It has moved now. It has moved. It has moving. It is incumbent upon me to make the final pick of the first round. My first pick. And with my first, fuck, with my first pick, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go a little weird here with my first

pick, and I'm going to go with something that came out this year. Whoa. Yeah. Before we started the draft, we spoke and we decided to include sports documentaries. Yes. And this year, I think it's not just a sports documentary, but it's one of the most amazing documentaries I've ever seen. That was the mic stand.

That was the mic stand. It kind of sounded like a very abrupt cow, too. It was like, merp. I'm going to take the five-part documentary series O.J. Made in America that ESPN put out this year. Wow.

Yeah. I feel a little weird about taking it first, but it was so good. It's not just a sports documentary, but it's about O.J., so it definitely is. No sports doc

is just about sports, though. Yeah, that's right. It always is like that. No sport is just about sports. Oh, shit. is like that. No sport is just about sports. Oh, shit. Except for ping pong, maybe. Is ping pong fully just about ping pong? Actually, no, I take that back because

China was one and two in Rio, and they forego coaching. What do they do? Whenever it's China versus China for the gold, they do not have coaches and so they just go head to head so i take it back i did not mean to poo poo ping pong that's a fucking story that's a movie right there women's uh singles ping pong was like

china to china yeah they were like let's do it oh shit yeah and they kill the silver medalists yeah they're dead. Publicly. Well, that's what, when you were saying that beautiful thing about the, I mean, how you experience that league of their own, the game that you watch. It's like, that's when people who are like funny, smart people were like, poo-poo sports, were like, oh, who won the sports ball game? I'm like, look, this means so much more. Yes, it is just like a game that people play.

There's nothing I fucking hate more than the sports ball people. You don't see me when the Tonys are... I hate some other things more than... No, I think it's indicative of something else. It is a lot of things. It's dismissiveness for like, what purpose does it serve for you to say,

oh, your sports ball game doesn't matter. You could just not participate. It's the same as me being like, oh, your insert thing you love here doesn't matter. I don't get on when people are tweeting about the Tonys, which I don't give a shit about. I don't get on and be like, is there some sort of award show for school plays?

Who did Singy Dancy Man win the Singy Dancy Award? It's like, yeah, no, that shit can be beautiful. It's all valuable. It's all valuable. Instead of saying what's not valuable, why don't we just say like, hey, not for me. Yeah. I'm just going to watch the thing I like.

I don't get, yeah. Why can't we all just say like, let's leave each other alone. It turns out you can keep opinions to yourself. Yeah. Which is something that I feel like might be lost on. I finally learned that if you don't like a movie, you could

just not like the movie. The CEO of Twitter right now is like, shut the fuck up. Shut up. This is my cash cow. I need people to hate each other. I think especially now, we need more positivity and love amongst ourselves

one way you can do that is to not say how was the sports ball game? we get it, we've all read The Onion 2 we enjoy it, we get it I think it's stupid that I will say about a 22 year old man I love him that I've never met but I never said that to my dad before he passed away you know what I mean?

I've said to a backup tight end I love you but I never said that to my father I he passed away. You know what I mean? I've said to a backup tight end, I love you. But I never said that to my... I understand that that's weird on my part. That my obsession with football has affected me in a weird way. There's millions of people in the city of Chicago who love Chris Bryant and they'll never meet him.

You know what I mean? What eyes on that guy too, by the way. Jesus. Blue eyes. That would be the best person to be right now, is Chris Bryant. He's like 23, a rookie of the year MVP, and broke the curse. Dude, and also player of the year in college, and player

of the year in the minor leagues. He's like the Bill Russell of baseball. And he's gorgeous. And he's worked on that uppercut swing, man. Swinging through the ball. I've got opinions about high caliber athletes that just because genetically they're so good that biology also makes them attractive. Also makes them gorgeous.

You know what I mean? And it's always like, I mean, it helps that often these people are in pretty much shape. Incredible shape. But it's also like, we need you guys to fuck. Yeah, please. For evolution purposes. So it's always like these like even like you know like a 280 pound female shot putter yeah when you look at her you're like holy shit she's

magnificent and you're like right because they are peak humans right they have worked on nothing but their body and set like an incredible way for like the i almost get jealous sometimes not even of like uh straight straight women sports fans where i'm like – because I went to a game with a girl and she was like commenting on how good looking Damian Lillard was. And I was like – I got jealous and not of her thinking Damian Lillard was beautiful. I'm like, I want to like basketball that much. You mean getting both? Yeah, yeah. You get both things?

Yeah. I want to fuck Damian. I want to want to fuck Damian Lillard too. I don't want to fuck Damian Lillard, but I want to want to fuck him. But that's why the Olympics are so great. Oh, my God. Everybody gets what they want. They do.

God, there are just, like, oh, some beautiful people. I got to, this, for me, rugby was in the Olympics this year, which is my favorite sport of all time. So I got to, like, have people over and show them rugby. And I was watching rugby with my wife, and she's like, he's so handsome. He's so, and, like, it was just more and more people. And I was like, oh, oh my god they really are they're all just like built dudes with beards from weird you know it's like right in her wheelhouse she got one of the ex-built guys right exactly yeah you can get there again i mean she met me when i was 21 yeah so she got it she got a little bit of a

taste she got pete gabris yeah yeah it's a lot of wrist pain and sleep apnea now. My wife played rugby in college. I forgot about that. Oh, did you? Yeah, yeah. Damn, I didn't know that. Yeah. That's amazing.

What position were you? I have no idea. What position were you? A prop? I would eventually be a prop in men's league, but I started out as a flanker. You were a flanker? Every year I gained enough weight to be moving to the fatter and fatter positions. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I started right off the bat as a prop. Yeah. I got a match in three months in Vegas that I have to start getting in shape for. The montage starts now. The montage. I'll get into that with seven more of my pigs. We haven't talked at all about...

Let's keep it brief. If you haven't seen it, ESPN 30 for 30 put out a doc... I don't even know if it was 30. I think it was. Put out a five-part documentary on the OJ trial and all the things leading up to it. Like it was about OJ's career. It was about the history of race relations in Los Angeles specifically, a little bit about America but mostly about Los Angeles.

And then it was about OJ himself and his playing career and then his growing up in sort of the Bay Area and then the trial itself, and it was amazing. It was some of the best documentary filmmaking I've ever seen. I haven't seen it yet. It came too quick on the tail end of the FX show. It was like, I'm a little OJ'd out right now. I had OJ fever. I was fully back into it.

Yeah, I think it worked for two different ways. People were like, keep me coming. I need another five hours of OJ fever. I was fully back into it. Yeah, I think it worked for two different ways. People were like, keep me coming. I need another five hours of OJ. Me, I was like, I'm tapped right now. I downloaded a BitTorrent client for the first time since high school to try to get it early. Wow. Because I missed it when it – I think there was some – It's dedication.

Yeah, right? There was some actual sports, I think, that I watched instead when it was on. You monster. I know. This is such a schmuck. think that I watched instead when it was on. You monster. I know.

This is such a schmuck. And I now have a virus on my computer that I don't know how to get off because of trying to get the OJ documentary. Did you also see, is it June 17th, 1994? Yes. The 30 for 30 event of all the sports that were happening on that same day? It was amazing. Just like insane. That was the day of my sixth grade dance.

I distinctly remember because my dad picked me up and he was like, OJ has gone crazy. I'm like, the guy from Naked Gun? That was in the documentary too. I think it was your school dance. It was huge. It was like John Gabrus never even went over to Julie Druckmann despite asking her to go to the dance with him. He didn't speak to her for three hours. He didn't put his hand up on her hip.

Her hand didn't go up on his hip. No dip was done. That was an amazing day. There was a Stanley Cup parade. Wasn't it Jack Nicklaus' last Masters or something? Or last Players' Championship? And it was a big... Yeah, was there also some tennis thing?

There was a baseball game, right? There was a big home run and a baseball game. there was like a big home run but it was a yankees or not new york knicks versus like yes it was the eastern conference finals conference finals holy shit yeah it was such and then the oj thing happened yeah and like cut into all of it um it's just it's just there's not much to say about oj i mean it's been so it's been covered it was just such an extensive. It was fuck. I mean, it sucks to talk about right now, but like the the level to which they investigated it was something I'd always wanted to see about the Trump, the rise of Trump. You know, just like what conditions in the country led to that happening, because they did such a masterful job of it in the O.J.

Made in America thing. Just sort of explaining everything that led up to this one moment. Because we all know the big moment, but we didn't know how much that racial tensions in LA. LAPD stuff. Right. And how many times they'd let, of course, it seems obvious now, how many times

they'd let white police officers get away with just beating the shit out of black people. And how many times they'd risen up to no avail. Or to the extent that OJ didn't consider himself a black person. Right. He was like, I'm rich. I'm not black. He himself thought that.

He said those actual words. Those exact words. Right. It was weird. People always say it's weird that he got the token pardon of know, we need to help black people out. It's like, well, don't help the one that doesn't help black people himself. Right. Yeah, because they talk about the history of activism in sports with like Bill Russell

and Muhammad Ali and all these people, Kareem, and then like OJ who just declined to be a part of it the whole time. No, no, no. I'm good. Yeah. He's like, no, I'm rich. There's a conversation between Christopher Darden and his neighbor in the series, the FX series. And I think it's the first or second episode where they're just in their front yards.

And it's basically those two things. Yeah. Yeah, but he didn't do anything. So why should I care? I just remember that sticking out like, oh, my God. Because I was too young to understand the whole thing. Right. When it actually happened.

At the time, I didn't get it at all. I did not have the capacity for that complex of a thought. I was like 10, but I was still like full. I remember we watched The Verdict. I was 12. I was just like, wait, what? Yeah. I don't understand.

So that is my pick, O.J. Made in America. That's the final pick of the first round. Moving on to the second round, I now have the first pick of the second round. And, ooh, I'm going to take the movie Major League. I got to have a funny one in there. Oh, yeah. That's an excellent choice. I love it.

Even with the completely problematic logo and everything. And name. And the whole thing. And the whole thing. And the and everything. And name. And the whole thing. And the whole thing. And the whole movie. And like seven of the characters. Seven of the characters. Charlie Sheen is the least offensive character in the movie.

And he's Charlie Sheen. The most offensive human being. Human being. Yeah. The whole Joe Boo. He actually is like, I didn't know. Like the whole, yeah, Joe Boo is terrible. Yeah, Soriano's whole like storyline is.

That's the president, right? That's Allstate, the president. It is, yeah. Yeah, Soriano's whole like storyline is – That's the president, right? That's all state, the president. It is. Yeah. Yeah, Soriano. Fuck you, Joe Boone. He like actually believes in a small totem because he's – is he Cuban? He's like a Cuban –

Yeah, and he practices – Or is Haitian. And he practices voodoo. He literally – It is voodoo. So racist. It's so racist. And is Major League One also you have no mobiles or is that –

That's Major League Two. That's two. Okay. Because that character is pretty intense as well. That's really bad. It's so racist. And is Major League One also you have no maubles? That's Major League Two. That's two. Okay, because that character is pretty intense as well. That's really bad. My mom took me and one of my best friends to see Major League Two, and she was so angry. I don't know why we didn't leave. Because of that whole thing, she was like, this is not a kids' film. She wanted to see how far they took it.

But it's just... Oh, did you know that that movie originally, uh, I can't think of her name, but the, the woman that takes over the team and tanks them. Oh yeah. The original ending is that she is like, surprise. I wanted this to happen. I wanted you guys to serve. Like I was just giving you this roadblock so that you would play better.

What? And audiences were like, nah, we want her to be terrible. Really? Yeah. They just want her to be completely irredeemable. Can you guess that there were probably no women in the test audience that watch that movie? Right. Why would we get a broad for a baby movie?

Isn't it like a big thing? Like, every time we win, we're going to reveal a piece of this woman's clothes. Jesus Christ. It's so crazy. I remember just being like, yes, when I was a kid. Now I'm like, whoa. Now I feel kind of weird that I took it. I didn't really think.

No, no, no. I'm just joking. I'm joking. Yeah. The thing is, like, it is really funny. It is. And as a, I mean, I, like, grew up in Akron. Yes.

That's my team, was my team. And, like, that, it really does, because David S. Ward is from Cleveland, and he wrote it because he wanted to see that team win something, because he thought if he didn't make that movie, he'd never see the team win it. He would never see it, so he might as well see it being fictional. It, like, really accurately depicts, accurately depicts being a fan of that team. But there's so many things you could just change about it and not make it so like, well, this is terrible. A mild thing?

You make my butt stink? Yeah. Isn't that Randy Quaid is the crazy bullshit fan? The ensemble in that movie is fucking awesome. It's so good. I mean, Bob Uecker, come on. How am I blanking on his name? The guy they get to be the announcer.

Bob Uecker. Bob Uecker. He's amazing. Strike one, strike two, strike four. Just a bit outside. Yeah, just a bit. How did he not swing at that? Yeah.

Just like the most boring human being. God, it's so good. Yeah, Ricky Vaughn is amazing. Ricky Vaughn is amazing. Here's another thing that's been tainted by fucking Trump. There's that weird dude on Twitter who goes, Ricky Vaughn is amazing. Ricky Vaughn is amazing. Here's another thing that's been tainted by fucking Trump. There's that weird dude on Twitter who goes by Ricky Vaughn, and he's some weird white supremacist. He used to say alt-right, fucking full-blown white supremacist motherfucker. Yeah, it's white supremacist.

Can't use PC terms for you. No safe space for you guys either. Yeah, fuck the fucking alt-right. It makes it sound like they're like a Wilco, but they just happen to be economic conservatives. No, no, no. We're racist, but it's ironic. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you're not fucking with her. Alt to me, I think because of my age, just means a girl has green highlights. Yeah. That's what alt is to me. Like as a suicide girl was alt to me. Right. Maybe I'm going solely off porn search terms, but. I thought just like mud honey was alt.

That's like what I thought. Right. Exactly. That's what i think of too yeah there is one of them i forget it what is his name uh matt forney was one of the fucking white supremacist dudes uh all quote unquote alt-right guys who like is just the one he's one of those people who thinks like uh men need to act like they're alphas you know uh whatever like return of kings motherfucker who if you see a picture of him, and these are things I would never judge someone on outside of them claiming they're the supreme beings.

But he's like fully bald and like the softest looking, like a chubby. He looks like a pillowcase full of hand lotion. He's like a fucking. He looks like a prison pussy. His hands look like they're made out of, they look like toothpicks with marshmallows on them. He looks like a Christmas pussy his hands look like they're made out of they look like toothpicks with marshmallows on them he looks like a Christmas arts and crafts project those are always the dudes screaming about beta males and cucks

but like bring that up because he considers himself alt-right and there's like pictures of him wearing like Saint Vincent t-shirts and shit like that so you listen to that music but you espouse all this shit. Like what the fuck is happening in your head? Not much.

Not much. It's all happening out here. We all have to deal with it. Six inch radius around their face. Just real quick to major league features. One of my favorite line of the entire movie gone. And it might not even be in one. Now I'm saying it,

but it's when they go to have dinner and Vaughn needs to put on a tie and he's like, I look like a fucking banker in this thing. He has a sleeveless leather jacket and a tie on. He's like, I feel like a fucking banker in this. It's so good. Dude, Sheen, fucking he's a funny guy. He could carry comedies, man.

Berenger is great in this movie. Berenger's good too. Who plays Dorn? That guy's fucking amazing. Oh, Corbin Bernson. Oh, Corbin Bernanger's good, too. Yeah, it's good. Who plays Dorn? That guy's fucking amazing. Oh, Corbin Bernson, dude. Oh, Corbin Bernson. Yes, yes. Dorn. Dorn.

Dorn. Yeah, man. Rene Russo's in it. Wesley Snipes. Snipes, dude. Willie Mays Hayes. I love it. Wesley Snipes is underrated.

Dude, Wesley Snipes is a hell of a Twitter follow, by the way. He is a hell of a Twitter follow. Underrated and over-prosecuted, though. You just came up with the name of his biography. I fucking love Wesley Snipes. 7.57. He is a full – pass me the 7.57? Yeah.

Yeah. He is a great Twitter follower. He's so positive. He's so positive. He's such a positive dude. He's great at roasts. He really gets after it. I love Wesley.

Shout out to wesley snipes if you're listening to this good we love you we love you sir i will i will tweet when this episode comes out i'll tweet at wesley snipes and he'll probably retweet it with a black fist he always quotes retweets with a black fist he does just like yeah thank you brother yeah fuck it we love you and he always he would wear like cat burglar gloves when he was like stealing bases in that movie. Yeah. I love that little cut. Put it on.

It's just such a good – it's so fun. It's just such a fun watch. It kind of reminds me of like the camaraderie of – like the way those people interact with each other where they bust each other's chops but still like each other. That's kind of what it's like to be on a team. It's like that dynamic. Yeah, well, it's like Goonies meets baseball in a good way. You know what I mean? Where it's like a ragtag group.

You're like instantly on their side. There's only one thing left to do. Yeah. Win the whole fucking thing. Yeah. Great line. Great fucking line. And then they really just win a playoff to go to the playoffs.

Right. That's the other thing. It's just the pennant. Yeah. No, it's not even the pennant. Oh, it's not the pennant, right. It's a playoff with the Yankees to go. It's a one-game playoff.

Yeah, because it's pre-wildcard, so there's no... God, it's good. Yeah. I like a good low-stakes win like that. Yeah. Some of those sports movies, they don't end up winning the whole thing, but they're still like a fun little journey. Right.

Yeah. All right. Major League, that is my first pick of the second round ria it is your turn uh your second pick of the draft okay great um i have so many picks but i feel like i gotta go to this one because so many people reacted to it a league of their own yeah that was my that was like my second right behind the pro yeah the second you said that i was like yeah and then when you guys were like i was like, I got to redeem myself for the scissors. Going to scissors too quickly earlier. Also, the one woman who mentioned loving baseball and had that whole experience.

I would be a dick if I said that. Yeah. You scoop it up for London. I was like, but I really like it. I mentioned earlier that I haven't seen A League of Their Own. What? I haven't seen it. There are very few movies that I would have that reaction to.

That's one of the blind spots in my – That's a big blind spot. I mentioned earlier that there's some sports movies I haven't seen. It's so good. That's one of them. Oh, wow. I don't know why I haven't seen it yet. It's ridiculous.

I know I would love it, and I would love everything about it. You talk about ensemble casts and camaraderie and all that. And then also just the white female experience. It's so good. And it's Penny Marshall, Gary Marshall, Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is so good in it. I mean, Geena Davis and Tom Hanks, the chemistry that they have together in that movie is unbeatable. And Tom Hanks just plays drunk so well oh is he like

a drunk in the movie yeah he's an alcoholic crazy alcoholic and tom hanks is not the hero and it's so hard for tom hanks to not come across his dad in every movie you know what i mean but he's so fucking good at it uh rosie o'donnell and madonna as like a fucking comedy duo it's like insane i love it and also there's like a scene rosie O'Donnell has a scene on the bus where she's talking about her boyfriend. Yeah. And that she like, basically in playing for the team, realizes she doesn't need that guy anymore.

Yeah. Because like she's been treated like shit for so long. Yeah. Because she's like, quote unquote, not attractive or whatever. And I was just like, oh my God, no wonder I love this movie. This is like about being a closeted lesbian basically right right talking about feeling like that she like rips up his picture i don't need that guy anymore because she's got like all these people around she's got betty spaghetti yeah exactly yeah and i like no betty spaghetti too that's uh

penny marshall's daughter oh the actress tracy reiner yeah oh that's so awesome because i went to that thing and she was like oh yeah yeah Oh, yeah. And then there's a woman from the L word. So you became buddies a little bit with some of the people. A little bit, yeah. Yeah. There's a woman from the L word that's in that movie too. Can we, since we spoke a little bit about that amazing A League of Their Own story that you told previously, will you not tell the

story of throwing out the first pitch? Sure. I just think that's so cool. How did the whole thing start? So you threw the first pitch out. Well, can I tell you one thing about a league of their own? 100%. Because I also went to the World Series this year, which was a crazy, crazy, crazy experience. And the seats that I had were in, it was in Cleveland. And I don't know if you guys noticed, but a lot of Cubs fans came to Cleveland to all the games because they have a little bit more money than the people of Cleveland.

And I was in essentially the Cubs section for the first game and the second game because it wasn't as crazy as the sixth and seventh game uh but it was first base side so visitors dug out so I was just surrounded by Cubs fans yeah and so uh Cubs were up to bat might have been Schwarber swung at something high and this woman in front of me goes just to herself Cubs fans surrounded by dudes she's like oh gotta lay off the high ones but I like the high ones. And she just started doing a league of their own with herself at the World Series. And it was a great experience. I mean, if that's not a, like, what's a positive dog whistle?

Yeah, exactly. Anyone else around? Like, all of a sudden, we're just like, yeah. Nag, cow. Just, like, going into the whole damn thing. For a moment, you felt more closely connected to a Cubs fan than anyone else in that whole building. Nobody else understands me like this woman. But yeah, I threw out a first pitch and it was, I mean, I'd been trying to like get it through Twitter for a long time.

And then I like tweeted at them like, hey, do you think I should just like trying to get publicity for them and publicity for the whole thing? And they were like, as you know, we've been talking to your people or whatever. And I was like, this feels weird. I don't know about this. They don't seem into it. And so then I gave them a date. Excuse me. And it was the Cleveland Indians.

Yeah, the Cleveland baseball team. Oh, beautiful. Cleveland baseball. Hey, I'm trying to do what I can. I do the same Yeah, the Cleveland baseball team. Oh, beautiful. Cleveland baseball team. Hey, I'm trying to do what I can. I may not. I do the same thing with the Washington football team. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. So then, I mean, so many family things happened. So I was going to the game thinking, maybe I should just tell them I'm sick. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Because I talk openly about women being included included in sports and like we should give get a fair shot all this stuff then once I it was for sure I was throwing out a first pitch then I was like oh shit now I have to do this yeah and then like just freaking out and I had thrown one in Omaha at a minor league game and it was fine yeah but this is like completely different because it's like the team I grew up watching I went to games at the stadium like it was the craziest thing if there was basketball equivalent, I don't know how I would be so shook

with doing it with the Blazers. You throw the jump ball up for the Blazers? Because it's not like something that, oh, you missed it. If you can't throw the ball up straight, people are going to be like, get out of here! If I tried to do that, I would accidentally smash the ball into Plumlee's face and fall over and piss myself. I know, I would be so nervous.

That would be like me flipping the coin for the New York Giants. I would fucking botch it. Just throw it in the ground. I'm sorry. Like, it's just straight up, not heads or tails. Just swallow the coin.

Just floating in the air like, I don't know. It's a dual forfeit. Everyone, go home. Let's go home. Game over. Yeah, I just get pelted with batteries. So I got there,

and there's a plaque in the ground at Jacobs Field. I call it the old name because I like it better. I love that. And it's a home plate, and it says the date of in 1995 when Cleveland won their first World Series game since 1948. And I was like, wait, this isn't us winning the World Series. This is just our first game i don't know maybe i shouldn't do this like i just kept getting all these feelings of like i shouldn't do that like and i you gotta listen to those when you get them so when i get to the game

i meet up with the guy we go on the field and he's like oh there's uh by the way there's another first pitch so i'm like okay so i'm not actually there's a two first that's weird one of those isn't a first pitch yeah yeah yeah there's also a second pitch yeah honor to throw the second pitch but let's not call it the other first calm down so i get there he brings me on like the side of the field like up by the third base uh dugout yeah and then i look behind home plate and there's like tents of barriers and all these people around the other first pitch and it's like a hot chick and i was like this is the most oh perfectly typical thing to be happening right now and so i'm like waiting trying to be like chilled out and just be like just throw the ball just throw the ball just throw the ball so seconds before i'm getting ready to walk up to the mount the guy the liaison

guy looks at me in the eyeballs and he says to me, you know, we're on a seven-game win streak, which isn't true. It was six at the time. We're on a seven-game win streak. So if we lose today, it's your fault. Have a great throw. And walked away. And I just, like, everything bad anybody had ever said to me in my entire life was just flowing through my entire

energy of my entire body and i was just like uh and then i got out there and i threw the ball like four feet in front of me yeah and everybody laughed at me and i was like well there went that oh my god it's like a perfect metaphor for like basically what it's like to be a woman you get one shot yeah and if you if you fail, you prove everybody right. And everybody tries to fuck with you along the way to do that one shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And no one else has been mentioned the pressure except for the one woman who's like, hey, by the way, this is huge. Everyone knows this is a signifier

of what's going to happen with the team. Why have you never said that? Wait, what? Yeah, exactly. As you know, the first picture dictates whether or not we win.

Yeah, and it's not like a baseball fan isn't into superstition. Like, I will say this year has completely erased any of my superstition because I don't believe in anything anymore. But at the time, I was very superstitious. Annihilist. And it got into me. And, like, what's so crazy, too, is the guy that caught the first pitch has signed the ball.

And he gave me the other ball, the other woman's ball. So I don't even have the ball that I actually threw. Yeah. Oh's just like in a box i don't give a shit about it did they win the game uh no they lost they lost the game they lost to the other lady yeah yeah i mean i pin it on like racism put it on race yeah exactly 250 years of ethnic cleansing yeah exactly so that's my first pitch story. It's a great first pitch story. It's not necessarily a happy first pitch story, but it's a great one. No, I learned a lot, though.

I have a feeling you'll throw some more first pitches. Oh, yeah, I will. Yeah. The Oakland A's have been very kind to me. Have they? Yes. There you go. And they're like an organization that works very much in their community and outreach and all kinds of stuff.

Well, Erin Dolan, right? Yeah. She's great. Sean Doolittle. Yeah. Sean Doolittle? Sean Doolittle, yeah. Sean Doolittle, yeah.

Shout out to the Oakland A's. Shout out to Cleveland as a city. The baseball team. Get their shit together. Change it. Yeah, seriously. You don't need to change the name. Change it.

I mean, I feel like they're not going to now. Yeah. There was a chance for a little while. But how could you not say, like, maybe if you change it, then you feel like they're not going to now yeah there was a chance for a little while but but how could you not say like maybe if you change it then you win the world like i know like i don't care like i didn't have a dog in the fight uh this world series but it's like who doesn't want to see someone win after not winning for over a century yeah but who also doesn't want i want cleveland to lose and for people to just be tweet, it's because of your fucking name, you monster. Yeah, that's what I've been saying. There's like one million nouns.

Yeah. You can see almost anything. Nobody thinks about how St. John's changed their name now. Right. Or the Red Storm. Fine. Yeah, that sounds great. All right, great.

Anything else to say about A League of Their Own? I will say, as badly as you want Rhea to see program, you need to see A League of Their Own 15 to 20 times more than that. I might do it tonight. Is it on Netflix? What if I'm running in third base and my bra gets a little loose and my boobies come out? As if there is a man in this country who hasn't seen your boobies yet. And there's so much B-roll of Rosie at third base going, one more!

One more! I bet she did that for hours hours while they were filming just from like what the little clips i've seen it looked like it was probably a really fun movie to make oh yeah all baseball movies seem like that yeah but i feel like that's the dream as an actor right like i want to be in a war movie so bad oh yeah i just want like a group of people with guns and we're all camaraderie. And I think sports is like the – there's the harsh reality that when you get to be my age, you are too old to be in a war movie. I'll never succeed in my dream. I can't even play an athlete.

You're like, what's he doing here, guys? Yeah, exactly. I need like ten more years and then I'm Behringer in a fucking major league reboot. Amazing pick, a league of their own. John Gabrus, it is now your turn for your second pick. Okay, so I just lost my second pick to Rhea there. So I will go with my... Now, I'm sure one of these movies would make the list,

but I'm going to pick my favorite of the six or seven now. But I'm going to go with Rocky IV. That's the right one! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm aware of the insane, of how good Rocky I is. I'm aware of how good that is.

Sure, sure. I'm aware of how solid Rocky II is. I'm aware of how weird Rocky III is. Yeah. And Rocky IV, to me, though, was the one I think potentially maybe saw it first. Yes. Just because of age. And that movie just

stuck with me so much it was such a clean cut cold war like yes for those of you listening at home who have rocky confusion that's the i've a drago yes usa versus ussr yeah drago kills apollo they have no way to heighten the rocky and apollo's relationship anymore so we got to avenge his death yeah i almost I almost went with Creed in this moment. Creed's a great, great movie. Because I love Creed so much. It is so good. Shout out to Michael Bajordan.

Yeah. Seriously, the kid's pretty good at acting. He's pretty good, yeah. Turns out. Yeah. But man, Rocky IV to me is the quintessential. This is when the Rocky movies went from like cinema to blockbusters. Yes.

In a way. Well, Rocky III was an attempt three was a three was a solid transition yeah yeah and the thunder lips and uh robots yeah paulie's fucking weird robot hulk hogan and then club of land yeah i spent a lot of time with the rocky movies when i lived in oregon for like eight months hell yeah i did not have a job and i had like zero friends and all i did was god i wish i could the, I wasn't torrenting stuff. I was watching stuff on illegal like stream websites. And I would just watch one through four over and over.

It was basically like my therapy. Yeah, I watched it one time. I was like, I don't need it. You just see it once to just have a sense of completion. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is like, this is so terrible to throw my dad under the bus like this. But I remember when we watched Rocky V together, the only fact he did, he was like, that guy has AIDS. I was like, what? Tommy Morrison?

Yeah, yeah. That's all my dad was like. Oh, I was like 15. I was like, yeah, that's important for me to know. Yeah, thanks. Yeah. Thanks. I can't wait to shout that at school.

Four is the best. That was the, I didn't even have Rocky I on my list. I had Rocky IV. It's the fucking best one yeah the there's so many good the training montage it's the most perfect like note to note training montage where um drago's got machines and brigitte nielsen and people watching him rocky's like in the woods with a black family literally he's like bench pressing a fan an african-american family while uh drago is like in a fucking machine getting injections and like twisting yeah he's in a farm in russia right yeah he runs he literally runs up a mountain yep while the car is chasing him and the car gets lost i can't keep up he's in like a fucking leather bomber jacket i remember

he has like a fur collar i'm like you can't run in that no matter what that shit doesn't breathe not at all he's just like swamping in there fuck stallone is so shredded in this so shred that's he's doing so many steroids he's on more steroids than latimer i also feel like this movie the the like dark side of rocky four is like the reason why everyone's just fine that r Russia hacked our election. No, they're strong. Why wouldn't we work with them? They're strong.

I don't read books. I watch this movie. When he beats Drago, spoiler alert, he beats Drago, and the Russian prime minister stands up and is like, I have respect for America. It's like this is a legit propaganda movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Rocky's like, if I can change, and you can change, we can all change. He's not a man.

He's a machine. I must break you. Like, so much good shit. I must break you. It gives me chills, man. And it's funny, because it's like, even the first half, when Drago beats Creed, kills him, Creed is living in America. He's got the fucking Uncle Sam top hat on.

And it's like the hubris of America to think they can defeat Russia in the Cold War. It was a statement on what it meant to be a real American, which was hard work and humility. Also a white guy. Yeah, also a white guy. We're not going to let a black guy take out Rocky. It's definitely a happy black man.

No, thank you. Not a guy who shares a name with the most famous black theater in New York. It would never be him. God, I didn't even realize that movie was fucking... Real quick aside, I've been begging to get... About Rocky III, I've been begging to get Ron Funches to shoot a shot-for-shot remake of Sly and Apollo's beach races. Oh my God.

Of just him and I as Rocky and Apollo. But now he's in good shape. He's actually in good shape. He's more Apollo. Funches probably actually runs on the beach now. Yeah, he probably is. He will just actually beat me. Ring the bell.

Yeah, ding, ding. It is such a good movie's the rocky movies are great rocky for me like peak block but i think you know it's like it's the empire of the movies like it's like so over the top and it's so good it's and any any american holiday like real american holiday tnt or spike or whoever you are whoever the fuck will do a Rocky Marathon. And I always get sucked into it. Yeah, there's something truly American, or at least what America believes themselves to be, is like a blue

collar dude who's like, against all odds, makes it. I'm a nobody. I'm a big fucking retard. And people are just watching like, that's me. I'm stupid and fucking crazy. Yes you know it's like and people are just watching like that's me I'm stupid and fucking crazy I'm an idiot

yes and he's a goddamn hero everyone's a protagonist in their own watching of them yeah everyone plays Rocky in their head

except when you see him take his shirt off you're like oh this man is training for something yeah but then everyone thinks I could get there

just give me six months I could get there just get me a fucking cabin in the Siberian fucking mountains. God, yeah. Brigitte Nielsen is crazy in that, too. She's, like, great.

She's such a good, like... She's so awesome as, like, his Pauly. Yeah. She could kick my ass. Let alone Ivan Drago. I feel like Brigitte could have kicked Rocky's ass in real life. I think Talia Shire could have kicked Rocky's ass. Yeah.

Talia Shire, at the end, was just like, he's like severely brain damaged. I just got to get this guy home and in bed safely. Yeah. Yeah. She's like plotting out how she's going to take care of him for the next 30 years. Oh, and I mean, fucking Dolph Lundgren is a, what an insane human being he is. When you read like his backstory. Oh, the real Dolph Lundgren.

The real Dolph Lundgren's backstory is amazing he's like a phd he's got a dual phd in like uh physics and like microbiology or something or biochem he was discovered because he was a he was also a gold medal taekwondo champion for like sweden and then he was discovered at a bartend as a bouncer by grace jones really grace jones was like who is this piece of fuck yeah i bet you i can make you famous you look at you you know this is the 80s anything can happen you know and grace jones just started dating him and just be made him like a model slash actor he started getting like small roles amazing only to become drago yeah somebody tweeted like like imagine the crazy athletic sex that like grace j Grace Jones and Dolph Lundgren had back in the 80s.

That's, like, me picturing. I picture Joe Manganiello and what's her name? Sofia Vergara have sex. Oh, yeah. Those are, like, my two, like. That sex. Seeing that, yeah. I was just like, huh?

Yeah. I'm like, yes, him. Oh, yes, her. Grace Jones and Dolph Lundgren have the same body type. I know. I always think of Conan the Destroyer, where she's like a total fucking staff-fighting badass. Speaking of someone who could beat the shit out of me, Grace Jones could have beat the shit out of me. Oh, man, I would pay money to get the shit out of me by Grace Jones.

Maybe a little too dark of a look into my sex life. I would pay money for Joe Manganiello to beat the fuck out of me. Right? Yeah. He's got those up-here uh i hate him and he's tall yeah speaking of tall a tall order is your neck it's an awful transition uh what you you that was your second pick rocky four okay now time for your third pick the first pick of the third round now this is gonna be this is very difficult for me to uh i'm going to pick another

movie that i'm not even positive anyone would pick but it just meant so much to me growing up um in addition to all the sports i previously mentioned i played i also me and my brothers me and both my brothers did taekwondo and my dad did so it sort of became kind of big in our house martial arts all based off of like sagal and van damme made us all. You were blood sport taekwondo enthusiasts. Yeah, we were like movie karate guys. Oh, we didn't care about the honor or the discipline. We were like, can I kick like in a movie? Yeah.

So blood sport, I didn't choose because I don't think the kumite is a real sport. Kumite. So I was so hesitant, but I did choose what I think is the real, like, and I didn't go with Karate Kid because it's not really a sport movie as much as the film that I'm choosing for my third pick, Best of the Best. Oh, Best of the Best. Best of the Best is about a karate tournament between America and Korea. And again, it's like another American propaganda.

I'm realizing now maybe these are the movies I like are possibly. They're all like, wait late America is the best. I only wish A League of Their Own was propaganda. Instead they really voiced differing opinions. But Best of the Best features Eric Roberts,

Chris Penn, and three other nameless Two great brothers. Two very famous people. Two very famous people. And they make up the five-man – not a real way to do a sport where it's five on five. Yeah. And you go up the – and like each fight counts for – they're not even different weight classes. They're just different styles.

Yeah. But it's like an Italian guy, an Asian American guy, a dorky dude. And then Chris Penn, who's like a cowboy. And then Eric Roberts. And he doesn't know how to dance. Right. Yeah. And Eric Roberts is like a fucking juiced up ponytail wearing dad. He's just like the most dad guy. All he cares about is his son who's got like who's in the hospital. Yeah. He must fight. And it just features amazing camaraderie. It features a xenophobic point of view about Korea,

but ends with the crying and the holding of, like, we are all the same. And Eric Roberts does, like, he has deaf cry voice. Tommy! Papa Tommy! Everything he says sounds like he lost his hearing for the moment i'm like this movie's problematic i've like referenced like shot on handicap people there's something wrong with this movie not me but uh and that movie meant so much to me when

i was young like it just really like pop it tommy pop it is what he says when he dislocates his shoulder yeah and me and my brother still to this day say it when you get hurt it's like pop it tommy pop it is what he says when he dislocates his shoulder yeah and me and my brother still to this day say it when you get hurt it's like pop it tommy pop it like i'll go on yeah yeah yeah and he gets down and he gets him in like the brazilian arm lock and he's like and then he tapes it to his arm he limps out to fight in the fifth match against the korean guy who has an eye patch and he's the badass korean guy. Yeah. And he limps out there, and he's like, can't bring himself to kick this injured man. He's trying to defend himself with one arm, and it's like, I'm weeping watching a fucking C-level action movie.

They would go on to make five sequels of it that mostly started taking place in underground fighting tournaments. Second best of the best. Third best of the best. Just place of the best. Coming in fourth. One of the best. Just place of the best. Coming in fourth. One of the good ones. Just made it inside the gym.

Good effort was the fifth one. Put on some clothes. Brush my teeth. Both Rocky IV and this movie also feature amazing training montages. This one features a great, like they have their own training montage. But then there's a moment when they watch tape of the Korean team. They're like, these guys are supposedly the best. Let's watch a tape.

And they're standing under a waterfall in snow being like hit in the stomach with baseball bats. They're like standing with their leg up and a guy is breaking bats over their shins. It's like, come on, guys. I thought you were going to say they were watching tape and then they all wore reading glasses and were taking notes. That would be so much better. Chris Penn, cowboy hat and cheaters. Yeah. Oh, okay.

You can stand in the water for a while. What are those, like, banker visors on? With the green. Yeah. Fuck, that's funny. So two mega patriotic, homoerotic America fighting movies. Absolutely. Just rippling man flesh.

Yeah. That's the theme of yours so far. Even the program. Just a lot of sweaty, rippling man flesh. Oh, yeah. You're going to see a very much running theme in almost every one of my artistic choices in life. Amazing pick. Best of the best.

Great, great martial arts movie. Rhea Butcher, it is now your turn for your third pick. Okay, great. My third pick is the 30 for 30 documentary, Bully Blunt. Oh, of course, of course. Have you guys both seen this? I have. Ian has seen this? I have. Ian has seen it.

I have. Yeah, yeah. This documentary really got me in my heart space. Yes. Because, like, holy moly, does it really. I know Andy Billman that made the documentary. Yeah. He's, like, a diehard Cleveland fan.

We're, like, pals. Talked together a lot. We texted through, like, every game after we met each other, every Cleveland baseball game i he was at a world series game that got to watch it with him and jamil smith also from cleveland oh that's great that was like a beautiful moment yeah in my little life of getting to watch cleveland play in the world series with those two dudes um but that documentary really nails what it's like to be like a northeastern ohio sports fan and like i grew up in a baseball house so that's why i like baseball it's also why i don't like football because in cleveland we they shared a stadium they shared

municipal stadium so once football started it was football not baseball and so then you have this like chip on your shoulder against the brown and everybody like the fandom in cleveland even to this day i feel like goes browns, baseball, Cavs. Which is crazy. And that's why I'm so glad that the Cavs won because it's like the third place team is the one that did it. And also LeBron being from Akron is like, it's beautiful. Who could ask for more? I mean, you can't.

It's such a beautiful story. Yeah. And there's this moment in Believeland where when it transitions into the LeBron act of the documentary. So it's about Cleveland sports fandom in general, not just the Cleveland baseball team. Kind of like Sense48, right? Yeah, pretty much. A little bit of pre, like. It's a lot more Browns than anything because like there's a lot.

The heartache really started with the Browns. Yes. And like the Cleveland baseball team. Yes. Browns than anything because like there's a lot the heartache really started with the Browns yes and like the Cleveland baseball team yes but the Browns were one of the best football teams in the NFL when yeah in the 60s I mean like Jim Brown Paul Brown whole thing but then like Art Modell like this whole I mean they he took the team away from Cleveland which is seems insane it really does I mean also Cleveland didn't really respect him either. So it's like a two way street. And I think the documentary did a good way, a good job of showing both sides. I thought they did, too, because before that, I just thought I was like, well, fuck Art

Modell. Yeah. Like documentary was like, actually, here's why. Yeah. Yeah. He tried and Cleveland doesn't listen. And hey, I think that's pretty true. Yeah.

Like that's why nothing stays in Cleveland because they're like, I don't know about this. They just don't commit to anything. But it really does. Like because the Browns just would get so close and then would lose in somebody in the I don't know about this. They just don't commit to anything. But it really does. Because the Browns just would get so close and then would lose. Somebody in the documentary says in such a macabre fashion. And it is. It is.

It's just like, are you serious? I don't believe it. I mean, watching the World Series this year, I had to leave and go in another room and punch a couch. Because I was like, not again! Not again! Yeah, like spectacular way to go down. Oh, yeah. The fumble and the drive. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, the whole thing. And now we have the rain delay. What was his name? Why am I blanking on his name? We're like friends on Twitter now. Yeah.

But it's... Ernest Biner. Ernest Biner. I just couldn't think of his name. I mean, in the documentary, he looks to camera and cries and apologizes to the city of cleveland for the fumble for the fumble but he was stripped too it's not like he dropped right it was it was a great defensive play yeah it was and i mean he like played his heart out in that game he was like one of the lone bright spots of that game for the brand yeah it was like him and bernie were just

like yeah on and he he says like we were like identical twins we just knew what the other one was gonna do yeah and they were just playing so well and it was like at the he was he goes into the end zone like where's the you know like it just oh it's so heartbreaking and then like the 95 baseball team that one makes sense because we were up against one of the other best teams in baseball but the 97 loss in the world series which is we were one strike away from winning the world series to the marlins a brand new baseball team not even like they didn't care they didn't even want to win they still don't care they've won two of them nobody cares yeah they had put the plastic in the locker room and they had the plastic in the locker room, and they had the trophy in the locker room. And you know what?

When I was trying to get over the World Series loss, which seems so insignificant now, I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep, and I stupidly got on Twitter. And I saw that a sports reporter was like, during the rain delay this year, they went into the locker rooms, and cleveland locker room had plastic on the lockers no why would they and i like i because like the league had to protect for a walk-off win but like could you imagine playing in game seven of the world series tie game i would be like that was what the eighth inning when the rain delay happened and then you go in there and see the plastic in there like you're done my shit you're done

of all of superstitious sport like i mean baseball too i wouldn't i wouldn't assume it was for champagne i would assume because i was about to get murdered like the dexter killed me i would hope that would be but my favorite part in the documentary is when uh in the lebron act when they start talking about that um because also the calves were like basically the background for every Michael Jordan, like major shot. We're in every poster going, but so Brian Windhorst,

who is a works for ESPN. And I also, I love Windhorst. Shout out to him. I played sports with his sister, Kristen, who was a tremendous athlete, great softball pitcher.

And his career was basically ended in like a, just a, she was in a softball pitcher, and whose career was basically ended. She was in a softball league just to keep conditioning, and somebody took her out, purposely knocked her over. Oh, my God, someone put Pete Rose on her. Yeah, for real. But anyway, so I know, and he's like, and then he's Cleveland's own. Talking about LeBron, he's like, and it's so much better he's Cleveland's own. Well, I mean, he's from Akron, but who cares? And I was like, that is it. That the whole thing because like cleveland doesn't give a shit about akron and when i was home after the calves won there were like wasn't that much

calf stuff in cleveland and i was like kind of shocked and then i went to akron and i went to like the the pizza place in akron that everybody goes to 90 of everybody in there was wearing a calf shirt or something and i was like like, yes, Akron won. They might as well be the Akron Cavs. Yeah, for real. How far is Akron from Cleveland? Like 35 minutes. Oh, OK.

Like directly south. Yeah, that's like I'm from Long Island where people there have never even been to Manhattan. It's 30 minutes away. You never went? Nah, that's not for me. That's great. And Believeland came out before the Cavs won, so they had to do an addendum. Yeah.

Which is such a happy ending. I know. Oh, that's awesome. And then immediately again had a heartbreak. Yeah. I feel like, though, that documentary really did, like, Ernest Biner apologized. Like, just all this stuff, like, everybody understanding Cleveland's pain in that way. Yeah.

Broke something loose. And that's, that's what helped us win that game. And I mean, the Cavs coming back. Yeah, it was. It was like the city broke open. It's like, well, I do have some issues. You know, and then you're able to like,

We are actually sad about it. I'm rooting for the Cavs so hard this year. Yeah, me too. Fuck the Warriors, man. Sports fuck, not actual fuck. The thing that gets me about the world, because everybody's like, oh, 3-1 Cleveland, huh? And it's like, I get why you would say that, but sports logistically, it doesn't make sense. Because Cleveland coming back from a 3-1 deficit in the NBA Finals to the Warriors is a crazy thing, as opposed to the Cleveland baseball team,

which was the underdogs the whole time, having a 3-1. And then the Cubs, the best team in baseball coming back, it's a totally different scenario. Totally different. It does suck that they blew a 3-1 lead. 100%. Objectively, that is not fun. Yes, objectively.

But when we lost game five i was like we're done yeah because like all the cubs needed was the tiniest bit of momentum because they were young too young for that stage right and all they needed was that like one little bit of win and i was like we're done and then oh yeah absolutely oh it's just a baseball oh i just play baseball yeah okay all right we are very good at this. Yeah, we're really good. We have all the money. Yeah. Fuck, all the money.

Yeah, and all the prospects. I'm a longtime Yankees fan, so I'm not allowed to chime in about it. Yeah, I grew up a Yankee kid, too, so I can't say. Yeah, we'll just end that segment by saying, fucker, Aldis Chapman. Yeah, for real. Yeah. Believeland, amazing pick. It is now on to me for my third pick, the final pick of the third round.

And with that pick, I'm going to take the movie The Sandlot. Ooh. Yes. Ooh. Yes. Great. It was on TV again the other day. I can't – any point in that movie, I'll jump in and just watch it until the end.

I fucking love that movie. I love it. I just spent $70 online to buy a shirt that has Wendy Pfe watch it until the end. I fucking love that movie. I love it. I just spent $70 online to buy a shirt that has Wendy Pfefferkorn on it. Yeah. Pfefferkorn. The one that's on Instagram all the time? Yeah. I fell for an Instagram ad.

Yeah. I bought it because that's my favorite. Can you guys guess what my two problems with that movie are? The kiss rape. Yep. And you throw like a girl. You play ball like a girl. You play ball like a girl. rape. Yep. And you throw like a girl. You play ball like a girl. You play ball like a girl.

Not even like you throw like a girl. You play ball like a girl. Yeah. And the barfing from the chewing. Mine was. Oh, that I don't mind at all. My problem is too many minorities. That kept me from trying it.

Me too. Wait, what was yours? My problem is too many minorities. Was too many minorities. Yeah, you didn't care for it. I was like, ah, come on. You don't have neighborhood ball games like that. How about Benny the Jet Johnson?

Huh? Yeah. Fuck, that's a good movie. Yeah, so good. The chewing tobacco scene did make my brother chewed, and I'm sure without that scene, I would have given it a try. Yeah, me too. 100%.

So gross. Thank you, The Sandlot, for that. Thank you, The Sandlot. More effective than any non-smoking. Because I was definitely already So gross. Thank you to Sandlot for that. Thank you to Sandlot. Because I was definitely already smoking when I saw that movie for the first time. Were you really? Yeah. Oh my God.

I started smoking when I was like 12 or something. You got out of it early. I smoked once. Bad neighborhood. I smoked when I was 13 because I was afraid to get smelly and I never tried another cigarette again. I was listening to Weird Al tapes still at that age.

I watched Stand By Me very early on. Oh yeah. That was the opposite message of the chewing tobacco thing. It's just such a fun, there are definitely problems with it, but it's such a fun movie. You know what I noticed the other

day watching it, Ria, and you might be able to, the hats in it. Oh yeah, I noticed that too. I watched it on a plane recently. The California Angels hat that the kid has. With the halo on top of it. The Kansas City Monarchs, the black kid, top of it. The Kansas City Monarchs. The black kid. They made him wear a Kansas City Monarchs hat, of course.

But it's such a dope hat. I know. They also have the... You got a fireplace at home? Yeah. Why don't you put your hat in there? Throw that hat. The kid's got the fucking fishing hat with crazy brim.

The super long thing. Yeah. Get a fireplace? Yeah, just maybe put your hat in there. It's just great. I mean, it celebrates sort of the romanticism and the history of baseball in like a fun way. I mean, that moment where that character actor is playing Babe Ruth. And he's like, can I keep this?

I don't know why, but I want to keep this. The Hank Aaron card. Yeah, right. So like watching that as an adult, I like almost started crying. Just like the fact that they put that in there. Right. Such a beautiful moment. Because then you, like this is the last year of vince gully then you go and listen to because

vince gully called that home run the hank aaron oh yeah breaking papers and he's like a black man is getting a standing ovation in the deep south this is a like yeah i love baseball in atlanta yeah right yeah that that movie has one of those advantages where it's so period-specific that it becomes universal. You know what I mean? It's so good. That's exactly what it was like. We played football instead of baseball growing up, but it's the exact same thing as playing schoolyard ball.

It was like the new kid who's like, I don't know if I like him, but he has a football. Yeah, we have to let him play. Yeah. And that movie just hits that for me. And it features the one fat kid who they let hang out with them. Oh, yeah. Who I see all the time. All the time.

Well, because anytime I ran into you, it was outside of Stamp. And I think that's what I've seen Hamilton Porter at Stamp like three times. He works next door. Oh, say no more. I know what's next door. I'm not about to fuck with those people. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah, yeah no more. I know what's next door. I'm not about to fuck with those people. Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't say anything. Yeah. L7, we need Dodger Dog. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it.

You got it. Haul it up. Bring him. I love the litany when they go through all of Babe Ruth's nicknames. The Sultan of Swat. The Colossus of Clout. The Colossus of Clout. And then You're Killing Me Smalls.

I was just home and my brother-in-law had a t-shirt that said You're Killing Me Smalls. And I was like, holy shit, that's so fucking. Amazing. The story with it that forever, forever. It's just so just so it made me want an erector set it was a baseball movie that made me want an erector set james earl jones being like the uh the big doggie and like having the dog like that's such a specific thing too of like balls gone we lost that monster that they use they have like puppet pieces like to make the dog as big as they want it was just so great sequence when they're running through the pool and the dog jumps

out. The kid's going, look, mommy doggy, big dog. But when it jumps over, they like hold on its dick. I was just going to bring that up. It's so funny because my mom is like the reason that I'm into movies. And she would always tell me this like back stuff. And I remember her as a kid being like, yeah, they always use female dogs and animals for that reason. So you don't see a dog dick.

It's just not. And I was like, oh, that's weird. The fact that I know that Hercules is not neutered is insane. There should not be that graphic of a shot in the film. It's just, oh, it's such a weird shot. It's like over a child's head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super slow motion.

It's like the ending of a Wes Anderson movie. I love when Hamilton does ladies before his cannonball. Oh, yeah. It's such a great moment. It's such a fun little movie. And just like, yeah, just enough magical realism in it to just a smidge to make it feel like childhood. And did you guys see Ben Zobrist riding his bike to Wrigley Field this season in his full uniform wearing PF flyers?

Did he really? Yeah. Oh, that's fucking cool. Oh, that's fucking cool. I mean, as much as it hurts to say, it's fucking cool. It's cool. It's really cool. It's the rich kids.

Cool in the regular season. I like that, that even though the fight has stuff that it's like, oh, that sucks that you have to say that. But it's the rich kids versus the kids with nothing. They may have enough money for a ball, and then these kids show up in their uniforms and hassle them. I love that.

So good. One of the great... Yeah, a little underdog story hidden in there. Fantastic. So that's my third pick. I'm now going to make my fourth pick, the first pick of the fourth round. And I'm going to go back to the world of, fuck.

Nope, okay, I'm not. I was going to do documentary. I'm not. I'm going to take the movie Blue Chips. Wow. Yeah. Wow. This is maybe my version.

Yeah, Shaquille O'Neal. Nick Nolte. Nick Nolte. Yeah. Anfernee Penny Hardaway. And whoever that white guy was, who was also a college player. This is maybe my version of the program. I fucking love blue chips.

I love it. I think Shaq is pretty good in it. I think Penny's pretty good in it. Nick Nolte's amazing in it. It's just such a fun college basketball movie. It goes into recruiting violations and all that stuff. Yeah, it's weird. They must have been around the

same time. I think they were, yeah. It's sort of like the dark side of college athletes or whatever. It's kind of the basketball version of the program. Shaq plays Neon Boudreaux in it. Great. Like a really smart kid who just doesn't care to pass his SATs.

And he's funny in it, too. And here's a fun story that was actually covered in The Magic Moment, 30 for 30. But Shaquille O'Neal was a player in the league. He was like a rookie in the NBA. And the Orlando Magic got the first pick again in the league. He was like a rookie in the NBA. And the Orlando Magic got the first pick again in the next draft. And Chris Webber was supposed to be like the first pick kind of thing.

Chris Webber. Anthony Hardaway's agent got him a role because he played at Memphis College Ball. And he got him a role in Blue Chips. Not a role, an audition, but like a basketball audition. So they played like these scrimmages with all these players.

And Anthony Hardaway was like strategizing. He was like, I'm just going to feed Shaquille O'Neal every time we go down the court. So in this like pickup game, he just like threw all these alley-oops to Shaq and just was feeding them like over and over and over again. And all of a sudden Shaq was like, yo, we should draft this guy. He knows how to get the big man the ball. I know he's like 5'7". Oh no, Penny's like 6'7".

That's like the Dolph Lundgren Grace Jones thing. Let's just start dating this guy and I'll get him some roles. Same goddamn thing. So Penny was like 6'7". Oh, am I thinking of his commercial he had like the half Penny

you're thinking of little Penny marionette yeah Chris Rock that guy was 57 inches so they still took

Chris Webber first but then they traded him for Penny Hardaway and like also got another pick so it was like this amazing because of the movie

Blue Chips the Orlando Magic ran out Shaq and Penny first. There's this guy I shot a movie with this summer I think would be good for our professional basketball team. They took Nick Nolte in the second round. Nolte was a flame out. He only played two seasons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a wet jumper, but he couldn't play defense at all. You know, another time with such a physical game. Yeah, I just love it. It's like Nolte's great in it. I think I saw Blue Chips in the theater and then never saw it again because I have like some memories

but not a lot of it. I have it on digital video disc. I'll still throw it in. I'll still throw it in. But it's just a real fun basketball movie. The guy, there's clearly like a Larry Bird proxy in it and they give him a tractor. They try to grab him with a tractor.

Does he wear a cowboy hat in the movie? No, he wears like a John Deere hat. Okay. Yeah, he's like, he's literally from a small town in Indiana, like Larry Bird. And there, hold on, I have to find this quote. Oh, sorry. It's, oh, am I going to even be able to find it? Probably not.

Listen, look up, I will tweet about, I will tweet about what the quote is. He's just like a blue chip white athlete such as myself. I think I could get upwards of $80,000 a year. It's just this fucking crazy craving quote from the movie. Anyway, that's one that I love. Maybe no one else would have taken it, but I had to have it on my list.

I mean, Shaq's legitimately funny. Shaq's legit funny. Shaq and Charles Barkley are two of my favorite working comedians. 100%. Unfortunately, they make each other worse on that show, but like, I worked for the Late Late Show, and we did a sketch with Shaquille O'Neal that I wrote. 100% 100% and unfortunately they make each other worse on that show but like we just shot I work for the Late Late Show

and we did a sketch with Shaquille O'Neal that I wrote which was such a thrill but that's awesome he was really great in the sketch

and then at one point during it he like turned to the crew and there were like 20 crew there and he was like we've come a long way since Kazam people

and like with like perfect timing after a take was over kazam people and like with like perfect timing after a take was over and everyone like lost their shit like people like were laughing all over the place i shot a radio shack commercial with shaquille o'neal yeah eight years ago and i was shooting my angle with his uh double yeah and this guy he's like hey what's up my name is marquez and he was like the one of the biggest human beings i've ever seen shook his hand and he got over into the side and they're like all right Marquez get up on the apple box he's already the biggest dude I've ever seen and he's got to get up like seven inches to match

Shaq Shaq comes rumbling out and he's like they're like how you doing Shaq he's like good I'm gonna get out of here in time to see that jackass movie right yes Mr. Roneo we should be able to do that he's like that's all I about. And he had his fucking RV parked outside. It was so awesome. Did he have that dude in the cowboy hat with a briefcase who follows him everywhere? Possibly. That was a little Star Trek. It was like a David Lynch movie.

There's a dude. There's a dude. That backwards talking little person. He was on fire who never burnt. There's a dude who follows Shaq around with a briefcase and a cowboy hat. And this is Sean O'Connor's story, so I don't know if I can even tell it. I shouldn't have just said it's Sean O'Connor's story.

Because then I could have told it. I'm going to say it right now and if he says it's not okay, I'll edit it out. But apparently that briefcase has two handguns and $40,000 cash in it. I don't know if that's true. Apocryphal. Anyway, so I took blue chips handguns and $40,000 cash in it. I don't know if that's true. I mean, that's all you need. Apocryphal.

Anyway, so I took blue chips with my fourth pick. Ria, it is time for your fourth pick. All right, my fourth pick is probably not one either of you guys would choose. I feel like, maybe. My fourth pick is Color of Money. Oh. 1986. That's a great fucking movie.

One of my favorite Scorsese movies. Wow. yeah one of my favorite scorsese movies wow also one of my favorite tom cruise movies yes huge tom cruise great tom cruise i love that fucking movie yeah i wouldn't have any thought to pick it you're right that is such a good choice sequel to the hustler right yeah but like 20 years later it's like the spiritual sequel to the hustler or whatever they say but uh I love that movie. It came on like when I was a kid, I would go. I would have visitation with my dad every Sunday. Yeah. And in Cleveland, Akron, the broadcasting area, they would play like westerns from 10 to 11.

Then from 11 to 4, they would play movies. And so I just like watched movies constantly. And I saw Color of Money when I was a kid just by myself, watched the whole thing. So good. I love the, you feel like you're there, and it makes so much sense. Yeah. Just the pool scene, not the scenes of the movie, but just you're immediately, it's like a mob movie or something, but not, it's just with pool. It's such a believable world.

Yeah, you're just immediately there there yeah you get everything tom cruise works at like the children's palace which is like not a thing anymore but i used to go there yeah we didn't have it in norway oh you didn't it was just like a cheap toys r us yeah okay yeah it was like right right i remember like kb toys yeah exactly um and they had to wear shirts with like their name on it or whatever and there's also an Akron reference in that movie. Perfect. They talk about the Akron tournament at the end. But I just, I don't know.

I love it so much. It's cold out. Also, they play pool in Chicago next door to where I used to practice improv with people. Oh, really? Just next door. Yeah. So you could be like, oh, shit, that's that right there. Yeah.

Do you play pool at all? Did it make you want to play pool? I do. You do play pool. I'm so jealous. I'm so bad at it. I was at Crum Fest, and I hadn't played in a couple years. Omaha or Denver?

In Omaha, yeah. And these guys were like, come on, let's play, let's play. I was like, all right. I haven't played in a while. And then I ran the table for five rounds and when i lost i lost on a scratch too and i was like best way to go out because you didn't do it yeah i did i did it to myself but i like straight up i like ran the table you were hustling i was like no i was setting your expectations low there's no money on this i was hustling you wouldn't be wearing that jacket

yeah i mean i used to play in chicago with like my ex-girlfriend we would play doubles with people and there was a time at this small small bar in chicago that was like a basement bar that you you would go into one table we would get in on games and there was one night where the entire bar was watching our game wow Wow. The whole bar. I mean, like 100 people probably in a bar as big as the room we're in right now. And I made a shot around a ball that was sitting in front of the pocket, and the whole bar lost their shit. Oh, that's amazing. It was like one of the highlights of my life. And I don't know anybody else that saw it, but it was one of the best shots I've ever made.

Just like scooted it right through, and people were like, ah! Like it was the best. That's right up there with like a late night set like yeah straight up yeah what's the paul newman turn in the movie like he he like you think he's selling out tom cruise but he's really doubling down like i remember yeah he's so confused but so into it i remember like well i don't how much do we want to spoil well it's from 1986 it 1986. It's a 30-year-old movie. Feel free to spoil it. He gets hustled. Right. The whole thing was a hustle. Tom Cruise being a kid that doesn't know what he's doing was a whole long con. They think he knew, but he didn't know.

He really believed it. It got him back into the game. It's kind of got one of those Bull Durham endings. Yeah. Where he ends up with the woman that he loves and cares about and like realizes like oh this is not so good John Turturro's in it? it's one of Forrest Whitaker's

first movies too because he hustles Paul Newman too yeah John Turturro the opening scene too that's just like shot from the table and Scorsese is doing like voiceoverover of what pool is all about. Yeah, yeah.

The smoke and the... Ah, so good. I have this soundtrack on vinyl. It's such a perfect 80s blues soundtrack. Oh, amazing. I love it so much. And Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. One of the great names.

Is that Maid Marian from Prince of Peace? Yeah, yeah. Mastrantonio. I might change my last Peace? Mastrantonio. I might change my last name to Mastrantonio. Yeah. Maybe that's... Might be a smart move. It might be, yeah.

That might put you on a better train. Ian Mastrantonio. That might get you on a first class train to wherever we all have to go at some point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it'll be a little more comfy. Color of Money, great pick. Thanks, man. Awesome choice.

It wasn't on my list, but now I feel like a fool for not having it on my list. That's all right. It's such a good movie. I feel like you guys are both going to watch it tonight. Yeah, I literally was like, took like a half hour, sort of meditated on trying to remember sports.

I didn't want to Google best sports movies to try to refresh anything, so I was like, and I'm like, if it doesn't come to my mind, then maybe I don't deserve to, but this is one of the ones. When you just said it you just said i was like fuck that really is one of the good ones and now i'm like is poker a sport like i'm all yeah oh shit yeah rounder i think rounders counts yeah uh gabriel what it is now uh time to learn what did make your list uh what did make my

list uh is um obviously a lot of my movies are going to be football-based because that was my thing. Yes. So this one's another one. But there's a level to this movie that, for me, is that it features Denzel Washington. Ooh, Denzel. I got to go with Remember the Titans. Yes. As hacky and corny as the movie can be at times, I think that's something I've learned

to not only accept from from sports movies but maybe expect in a way expect and embrace yeah make some of them and i really like it and uh i i grew up in an all-black town so it was like and i when i went to high schools when i was able to be considered decent at sports because we went to i went to high school with way less black people so i was like a no and then I was like, so for me to watch that movie, and there's just so many good characters, and anything Denzel does, whenever Denzel talks,

Denzel's the man, now this is my own issues I'm dealing with here, but Denzel's the guy I want to be my father. Yeah. Because whenever he talks in a movie, I feel comfortable. Totally. Yeah, he'll always be like, Ian, now sit down. Now you're okay, I'm okay okay we're gonna be okay together all right you got your you're doing your podcast you're gonna do a good

job like it's it's always so everything he says sounds so positive yeah yeah he's talking you through like a hot it could be a hostage situation which it is in some of his movies but it still feels the same way so remember the titans hits me so fucking hard it's so good. Strong side. Right side. Strong side. Strong side. Yeah. Like, oh, fuck me, dude. The soundtrack is fucking, like, mwah. Oh, the soundtrack is awesome. The characters are so fucking rich and fun. Yeah.

And, like, California. Sunshine. Yeah. Like, that's such an, like, they were just such fun character choices. Yeah. It's kind of like a good cast too. Doesn't it? Like, yeah, they're all like Opie from Sons of Anarchy is Bertier or whatever his name is.

The main dude. Dude, there's like a fucking car accident. There's like racial tension. Hayden Panettiere is like the daughter in it. Yes. Loves football. To like the sort of racist, like the assisting. That's one of my favorite roles in movies about like integration is the like racist

assistant coach or racist guy who learns over the, I just watched that fucking Sudeikis Jesse Owens movie on a plane. Oh really? Yeah. I feel like that movie, it should not, the name of that movie is so perfect. It's so perfect. And like, is it not good? I haven't watched it.

It's like a. Not making the list. It's not making the list. But it is like, but it suffers from like that. And now I don't know much about this, but it suffers from like, well, thank God this white coach is able to help. Like a guy who was like objectively the fastest human being alive. He caged his animal instincts and taught him.

Yeah. Finally, a quarterback who could think on his feet. You know, it's like, oh my God. But I think Remember the Titans sort of does it in a way that isn't so hammy or awful either. It's sort of like enough for a kid to watch. It's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know who's in that movie? Your boy Ryan Gosling. Oh, yes. What? Right. He's like a cornerback. Yeah.

Yeah, he's like the quarterback who loses the job to California until Sunshine. Yeah, to Sunshine. Oh, that's fucking true. Yeah, dude. Ryan Gosling's a dude I now hate for the wrong reasons. Yeah. Turns out he's also funny.

Yeah, he's funny. Nice guy. He's so good. And fuck, you're like actually good at comedy. It's like you and Jon Hamm just like- Right. the wrong reasons. Turns out he's also funny. Nice guys are so good. And fuck, you're actually good at comedy. It's like you and Jon Hamm, just like, let us have comedy. It's like how Blake Griffin is funny. Let the sixes do comedy.

Get on the stage, Blake Griffin. I don't need you being better than me at this, dude. That's the last thing I want to find out. Jon Hamm is like a nine-inch dong. It's like, of course, you get the fuck out of here, man. Just a beautiful Jon Hamm penis. That's the holiday ham down there for everybody we are the titans the marty marty

it came out when i was in i was maybe a sophomore in high school so it was just like perfect i was like yeah yeah i remember going to see a bunch of kids from the jv team yeah like let's go dude it was so it was such a clutch release. Great football movie. There was a good run of football movies. Remember the Titans? Now, John, it is time for your final pick. I'm having a rough one here because I'm going to go with one that is maybe not a good movie,

but in the interest of representation. Yes. Which makes me sound like I'm being open-minded, but I'm not in a way. In the interest of representation, I'm going to choose Invictus as my final sports movie. Look at you! Not a great movie. What you mean to represent is

rugby, right? Yes, yes. I'm not even South African apartheid views. Yeah, you don't care about Robben Island. You just want to make sure. Oh, who's Nelson Mandela? I don't know, But Matt Damon plays rugby. That's all that matters. Who knows? It was a good 30 for 30.

Great 30 for 30. I forget what it's called. Maybe The 16th Man or something like that. Great 30 for 30. But the movie Invictus, the book that it's based on, the true story of what happened with the South African rugby team in that World Cup is fucking awesome. Like, it's such a cool thing. It's been dressed up even more to, like, to make it seem like it was even more important

than it really was. Yeah. But to just see rugby in a movie was huge. Making that, by the way, the second film that featured Matt Damon playing rugby, if you remember in The Departed, he's playing in the F.E.Y. Oh, that's right!

Yeah! In the opening scene set to the spanish classic guitar stuff so you just remember that i think when you're like watching league of their own you're like yes women playing baseball i'm like mine is the most opposite i'm like an american looking for rugby like i already have my representation everywhere as a straight white man i want rugby too yeah finally someone who's not a Maori playing rugby. Yeah. I will say something about rugby

that I think maybe now I'm just like, now I'm patronizing, but it's one of the few sports where the rules don't change at all for gender. Oh yeah.

It's exactly the exact same rules, same time, same field, same everything for women, which I think is totally bad. And the women I played with at Marist and at the Village Lions, the Leonas, the female lions, they were fucking badass.

My little sister played rugby and she was so much better than me. She was such a badass. Shout out to Elisa Carmel. Yeah, shout out. The women's Olympic Sevens team were fucking amazing to watch. These women are brutal. Like brutally I just love it. I love watching. It's so awesome to watch.

It's like a different type of beauty you're not familiar with is a woman running full speed and tackling someone. You're like holy shit I found that beautiful. Yeah. Find a beautiful when a dude does it. Now I've really. But for me Invictus was Matt Damon. i was a little

patronizing about like race and all that but sure seeing a rugby movie and knowing the story of that like the spring box right south africa yeah the south african spring box and now so the spring box is like a south african like plains animal like a big ass badass deer more or less and early on in that team the spring box when they would be like one of their initiations would be like take one of the toughest guys from the team yeah and they'd go out and try to tackle those fucking animals yeah they would like guys have broke their shoulders and shit like you're out trying to season yeah trying to tackle like a legit animal like you know fucking like hunting this thing's built to withstand lion attacks. Right, exactly. What are you going to do, Jeff?

Jeff Van Rudeman or whatever. Van Rudeman. Yeah, that weird Dutch last name. But yeah, so I think for my last one, I would be laughed out of the rugby world if I didn't pick a rugby movie. I'll be as bad as it is. Now, hopefully I'll be able to make a rugby movie in the next ten years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll be your move, yeah. I want to make like the

sandlot of rugby. You should, absolutely. You'll be the coach that comes back. You play rugby like a girl. Oh, thank you for the compliment. Thank you. And that's why you're on the team. We need a few more rugby guys that play like chicks. Let's get them.

Get in here. Great pick, John. So that wraps up your draft. Rhea, it is time for your fifth pick, your final pick. Great. My final pick, now I could be cheating. I don't care. My final pick is the 9 for 9 series that is within the 30 for 30 series.

Oh, yeah. It came out at the anniversary of title nine which allowed women to play sports essentially not at all i'll allow it yeah yeah you get the whole oj doc you get it's a series of you know hour-long documentaries just like 30 for 30 and there's some really great ones in there like the renee documentary the first transgender uh professional tennis player yeah um there's one about billy jean king and the battle of the sexes there's one about wnba i think and cheryl swoops and uh the two that i that i really yeah that i really love are uh venus versus which goes into specifically venus fighting for equal pay at wimbledon because

like literally she was playing in the final round of Wimbledon and that morning, hours before she's about to be at center court, she's arguing in front of the board saying, like, you have absolutely no reason to be paying us less because we have as many people coming to see us. Yeah. Like, there's no... More in America. She's the biggest PAM star that makes, objectively, the most... Maybe ever. Yeah. Venus and Serena.

Side note, I watched the U.S. Open from 2001, which was on September 8th, 2001, in Flushing, New York. Watch that match and just looking at people like they don't know what's coming. And also the outgoing interviews with those two sisters. Those are some professional-ass ass athletes those two women i highly recommend reading their statements afterwards of like being sisters being professional athletes just amazing and then the other documentary in this series uh that is also very worth a watch is let them wear towels which is about female sports journalists and how much they had to fight and still fight to be respected because that was a quote from a manager, I think maybe, or Jack Morris of the Minnesota Twins, who was a real piece of shit, to a specific journalist who died recently, whose name escapes me.

You'll probably figure it out. It's a great story. You guys should both read about it. But he just said like, oh, yeah, if they want to come in here, let them wear towels. Yeah, let them wear towels. Yeah. Yeah, but that's the men. The male journalists don't wear towels either though right makes no sense it's it's a whole backwards double

standard and it's a really good uh really good documentary great man that's just sports journalism that's not even like women wanting to play sports that's just wanting to cover sports right right the ability to write we can't cover down and to notice things yeah when some of the bet like jackie mcmullin is one of the hit like anyone who's an honest person wouldn't – she's one of the top five basketball writers just like around right now and maybe ever. Yeah. Like there's just fucking – yeah. That really bugs me. It really – it turns out gender doesn't help you write better.

Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turns out being a good writer means you're just a good writer. Yeah. That just makes me also think of the women's soccer team. yeah yeah yeah turns out being a good writer means you're just a good writer um yeah that just makes me also think of the women's soccer team oh yeah

there's one there's one on them too the US women's soccer team they're like we do better than the men right they're like objectively way better

that's what's about like the original like women's US soccer team Mia Hamm Brandi Chastain all those women that like

broke the soccer thing loose like everybody's like oh my god women's soccer women's soccer, women's soccer. We love it. We love it. Then they make a men's major league soccer in the US and you're like, wait, what? Hang on a minute.

So wait, what? Yeah. Yeah. We love soccer. Way to capitalize on the fever. Incorrect. Thanks, ladies. We got it from here.

Yeah. Fuck, man. There is a women's professional league. Shout out to the portland thorns pretty good pretty good the portland thorn smiths yeah the portland thorn smiths i don't know why that courtney thorn smith's name is in my head two of the uh best teams in american professional soccer uh other so there was jennifer fry i highly recommend if you're into sports journalism or journalism at all,

she recently passed away, and she was just prolific in sports journalism. And she had a fight with Jack Morris, who was essentially just a complete asshole to her because she was a woman. And it's been spun that he was not a dick, and she was just like, shouldn't have been there or whatever. But I highly recommend looking into it, because I read a lot about her on a flight. There should be a movie about that woman. I'll make it. Make that movie. That's what we're taking out of this. Maybe we should all work. We should all make some

sports movies. There was also a Pat Summitt documentary. Oh, yeah. Fucking Pat Summitt, man. I read an article by a male sports writer that was like, I should have given her more respect. Yeah. Everyone should.

That's so awesome. Literally everybody. She's one of the greatest coaches in the history of athletics. Yeah. Because not only is she the most winningest coach of NCAA. Everyone fucking graduated. Everyone graduated. They graduated, man.

And she turned out some of the great, I mean, some of America's finest athletes. She gave women an opportunity to become, like, people. Yeah. And, like, that is something we just don't value enough. Not at all. She fucking did. Like, the idea of a student-athlete is ridiculous. You know, like,

with, you know, like, Coach Calipari is, like, the men's equivalent of, like, a Pat Summitt. It's all one-and-done shit. You know what I mean? The idea of student – and I think the idea of being a student athlete is ridiculous anyway. Like let this person who's obviously going to be in the NBA obviously go to the NBA. But like Pat Summitt did that and made sure they graduated. It's just fucking – all of her players graduated, right?

All of them. All of them. There wasn't one who dropped out. She's like the only coach that is that winning and then also had all of their students graduate. Fucking man. Shout out to Pat Summitt's ghost, wherever it is. It is definitely

on a basketball court. It is definitely on a basketball court. In a pantsuit on the side. It's similar shouting at Len Bias' ghost. Fucking. Great pick. Great final pick. Something that now I'm going to go. I mean, I saw the Venus one. Fucking, yeah. Great pick. Great final pick. Good call. Something that now I'm going to go,

I mean, I saw the Venus one. I love that. Yeah. They're so good. They're so awesome. Didn't something just recently happen where they were interviewing Andy Roderick who was like, oh, how's it feel to be the most winning?

Oh, yay. And he was like, actually, it's Venus Williams. Serena. It's Serena. Serena's the greatest American athlete of our age at least maybe ever

and isn't there also like an amazing footage I saw or I read an article about her like when she was young being interviewed and they were like no we take

I forget what she says like something her dad's like no you are the best or something like I say something in an interview it's like one of the best or whatever

it's like technically I am the best like they're just so confident and badass you are the best also Crip Walk's better than most tennis players. I fucking love that. I love when she fucking busts it and people

are like, no, you can't do that. It's like, she's from fucking Compton. They used to give Venus so much shit just for beads in her hair. In Wimbledon. It's like, oh, that's not racist at all. I guess she had a wig on. And a meth pipe underneath that wig. And you're getting mad about her beads. I guess he had a fucking, it turns out, I guess he had a wig on. Yeah, and a meth pipe underneath that wig

and you're getting mad about her beads. I know. Yeah. Fucking Serena's a badass. Like, if you can't get behind that, fuck you.

Yeah, they're both badasses. If you don't look at those two women and be like, those are athletes, like, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah.

Dude, the Williams sisters. Yeah. Amazing. So now it is my turn to make the final pick of the sports movie draft And I am so torn right now

Nothing's right I'm torn In fact that's how torn I am Alright I have to Just go with Love and Basketball man I know you want to go with it It's on my list I'm going with Eddie Celtic Pride

I have to go I'm going to say what I'm not with Eddie? No. Celtic pride. I have to go. I am. I'm going to say what I'm not going to take. And this is between two of my. I'm not going to take the Bones Brigade documentary. Okay. Which is, if you haven't seen it, it is one of my favorite. I've seen it dozens of times.

It is such a good documentary about skateboarding. Yeah. And about the bones brigade specifically uh it's just it's just amazing it's beautifully shot everyone everyone participates in it um have you seen the test papa's uh no documentary great follow if you love the bones brigade one yeah watch the papa's documentary oh i definitely will the they're like rodney just like how in-depth they're going on rodney mullen yeah on this is like a man what a sweet gentle dude yeah he is too um so i'm not going to take that what i'm going to take instead and apologies to you on this uh john taking

winning time the documentary about reggie miller torching the new york knicks cheryl miller was better cheryl miller was way better and they talk about that in the documentary, too. I know. That's one of the great moments of the documentary is, like, when Reggie, like, Cheryl and Reggie's dad pick Reggie up from, like, a game where they're, like, Reggie's like, yeah, I started tonight. And, like, Cheryl's like, oh, great. And Reggie's like, yeah, I went for 43. And Cheryl doesn't say anything. And, like, what did you do tonight?

And then they just cut to this clip where it's like, local high school basketball player Cheryl Miller goes for 109 points. I'm kidding. I haven't seen this. Reggie Miller is only who he is because of Cheryl Miller. Because he had an older sister who was better than him all the way up until when he was in the NBA. And maybe even then. We'll never know. Cheryl Miller fucking owned him.

And it's. She ripped, dude. She fucking was great. Cheryl Miller. Cheryl Miller probably. Well, I don't know. I don't know enough about basketball to say that. But she was fucking.

She'd beat. She'd beat any dude who thinks that he could be. You know, sometimes you like run into those dudes at a 24-hour fitness or whatever. Oh, yeah. They're like, man, you put me up against a WNBA player. I'd tear him apart. Yeah, sure you would. Fuck you, kid.

Cheryl Miller would have taken you down to the post and had you for lunch. All it takes is her scoring on you three times for you to completely lose your shit and have an emotional breakdown. For that reason alone, you cannot beat this woman. Not at all. on you three times for you to completely lose your shit and have an emotional breakdown for that reason alone you cannot beat these women i wouldn't even test myself on like a treadmill next to a wnba playlist in the sport that they're actually trained in yeah super would like break my ankles barefoot you know a bunch of those dudes like this summer for the olympics they were going to the women's games and like the they play each other yeah they in the wnba and like the second string nba guys play each other and they're like they beat the shit out of us like they

they can play each other they can play ball they can play each other my amor man there's so many good yeah who's uh what's her this is i mean it's oh i fuck i forget her name then i guess this is what it to bring a full circle when you could could talk about basketball players that you can have a crush on. Rebecca Lobo. Rebecca Lobo. I thought she was- Shamigua Holdsclaw. Yeah, Shamigua Holdsclaw.

What's her name, though? Candice Parker. She plays for- Lisa Leslie. No, she plays right now. She's a blonde lady who plays for- Like Della Donna? Yeah.

Yeah. I think she plays for my team. I think she does play for nothing not that that was the barrier between me team or that team that has way more players that has way more players

on it which shall not be named I think I think I think her preferred sexuality is like the last thing on the list yeah if we made it that far down she's saying I'm sorry I'm gay I'm already Preferred sexuality is like the last thing on the list keeping me from hooking up with Elena Deladon. Yeah, if we made it that far down the road, she's saying, I'm sorry, I'm gay. I'm already further than I've ever been.

Thank you so much for your time and letting me be a part of the process. Ow, my hand. Yeah, right. I'd be like leaning and shaking up. Can we just have an asexual you be the big spoon? Just for a second. But yeah, Winning Time is just such a masterfully made document. It's just so good. And it just captures that 90s basketball, the Knicks, and the Heat weren't in it, but the Heat, too, and the Pacers.

90s basketball. God, those teams smashed. Cavs were part of it, too. Oh, yeah. Just the East, when they were dominant and just smashing into each other over and over and over again, fighting over the scraps that Jordan was leaving. Yeah, it's funny that it just created a schism where it's like, yeah, there's Michael Jordan, then there's eight other teams.

Then there's these fucking good. Eight amazing teams. Yeah. But no cares. He's playing a different sport than the rest of them. And just the Spike Lee subplot, him getting involved in it and going to Indiana, birthplace of the KKK, which he loves to point out.

Yeah, and all that sitting courtside. And how Reggie Miller just attributes Spike Lee for the reason he played so hard. So awesome. There's a part where it just cuts to him and he's just shaking his head. It's just such a well-made documentary. It's so entertaining. Oh, you have to see it. It's fucking a part where it just cuts to him and he's just shaking his head. It's just such a well-made documentary.

It's so entertaining. I got a long shot on it, yeah. Oh, you have to see it. It's fucking winning time. I think Dan Clorez directed it. I might be wrong about that. But yeah, just so good. I think it's my favorite 30 for 30, even though I took the OJ.

OJ's better. But yeah, Dan Clorez directed it. But winning time is more entertaining. It's so good. Yeah, so that's the draft. We left some amazing movies on the board. Yeah, does anyone have one of their alternates that they feel like – I didn't get Little Giants out there.

Little Giants was so good. Which was big for me. If you want to talk about childhood crushes and Icebox. Oh, the Icebox. And I maybe like too close in age to really like you know what i mean like i think i might have been like older than icebox right right but legally but still so into ice the cat and mighty ducks what was it the quick hand right yeah i forgot about my yeah mighty ducks was. It almost feels like not a sports movie for some reason. It kind of does it, right? I don't know how.

Disney does that to movies. I grew up constantly getting confused for Goldberg the goalie. So I was actually completely reasonable. I also, off of hockey movies, Miracle. That's another Disney movie. But I feel like it's just because it's based on a good story. Here's the three movies that were hardest for me to not pick. Space Jam.

Good call. White Man Can't Jump. And Varsity Blues. Oh, yeah. No one said the original Friday Night Lights either. No. The TV show was so much better. It's hard to talk about the movie with a TV show.

But the movie, when Boogie is finding out he's not going to play, is one of the most intense scenes in the movie ever recorded. Holy shit. And I mean that Expl intense scenes in the movie ever recorded. Holy shit. And I mean that Explosions in the Sky soundtrack is so perfect for football. So perfect. So perfect. It's so good. So good.

Speaking of so good. Oh, what did you leave on the board? Oh, I left Love and Basketball on the board. Field of Dreams. Field of Dreams! Fuck, how do we not pick Field of Dreams? I didn't take Field of Dreams because I already did the like... Because Field of Dreams I hated when I was a kid because I didn't get it at all.

And then watching it now as an adult, I was just a puddle. Hey, Dad, want to have a catch? I can't even watch it that has dad issues. I cry at like Modern Family third act. That's why I left it on the table. I didn't want any crying. And then what was the last one you said, Rhea? Moneyball. Moneyball. Moneyball makes me cry. Money was the last one you said, Rhea? Moneyball.

Moneyball. Moneyball makes me cry. Moneyball is such a good movie. Moneyball makes me cry. It's almost a front office movie more than a baseball, but it's so good. Yeah, but it's so good. Wait, what did you say before? Oh, Love and Basketball?

Love and Basketball. We didn't, Hoop Dreams. Hoop Dreams. Oh, yeah. I love Hoop Dreams, and this is going to sound hypocritical because I took like a seven hour OJ documentary. It's long. It's long.

It's very long. I forgot when I re-watched it I was like this movie is way longer than I thought. It's like three and a half hours. It's very long. We left He Got Game on the table. Raging Bull. We left an Oscar winner. Who wants to watch?

Who's like on home and like Gilmore? Happy Gilmore. Yeah I don't usually throw Raging Bull in. It's like a Friday. You're like, let's make some popcorn and watch Raging Bull. But Happy Gilmore is probably the sports movie I've seen the most. Yeah. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't call it a sports movie because it's a Sandler movie first, but shit.

It is kind of a Sandler movie. Also Tin Cup. Oh, yeah. Another great Costner run. We'll save all this for round two. Thank you so much, Rhea Butcher, John Gabrus. Thank you, Ian Carmel. Thank you for your time.

Thank you to the listeners for listening. Tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Thanks for listening. That was a HeadGum Podcast.