All Fantasy Everything - Steves (w/ Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

Only Steves — no Stevens, Stephens, Stefans, or Stevies allowed.Guest:Jon Gabrus (@gabrus)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. from the world of pop culture. On this episode, we're drafting steves. Get your fucking hand out of the way. I'll get it today. I'll tickle your dick off. It's comedian, actor, podcaster. I took it off myself.

I'm gay from... Hi, we're just four grown men in hats. Just four hat guys. We're having hat conversations. We all have heads of hair under here, too. We all do, yeah, yeah. Which is not something like guys our age are supposed to have. No, we're really mocking a...

Big group of our followers Yeah Bald podcast listeners Which is Dude I'm just like you When I'm right Bro, we're a little different We're not 100% similar

I'm gonna meet up with a bunch of other Bald podcast listeners You would love them Trust me they're just like you We're all super funny That they read drunken loud Do you ever Bald dudes is one group of guys who

You're like I kind of get why you're so mad about it I try to talk to bald dudes You gotta try carefully with this conversation I'm just saying You ever talk to ball dudes And they're like You know there's no bald dudes

On sitcoms or whatever Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah Oh I see what you're saying Why they're mad about their treatment In society Yeah yeah yeah yeah Ball dudes are not happy about it

There's not a lot of positive Outside of your Jason Stathams And you ought to be jacked and no karate And you're the NBA There's not a lot of positive bald representation For white guys Yeah that's just about to say We're killing it

Alex Caruso Delroy Lindo Delroy Lindo Two great Italian men Eyes closed You tell me a man's name Isle Lindo I think he's

I think he's in Mosaisley Cantina I don't know where else to put him He's doing the Kessel run In 8 parsecs How long you think it would take you To casually work in

Delroy Lindo to a conversation With a stranger And they thought you weren't kidding You know what I mean You can't just walk him And be like You ever heard a Delroy Lindo Like you got to

It's got to work its way in there hotel in the marina? You're like, no, it's a fucking legendary actor. It's actually a Crob Maga move. He's got him in the Delroy Lindo. This doesn't look good for either fighter at this point. My grandmother started, you know, the dementia was getting pretty bad. So we actually put her up in Delroy Lindo, and it's been beautiful, yeah.

It's a beautiful spot down. Really, Delroy in my Lindo's with these prices over here. So when does the tequila cost $15? Hola, your story, Delroy Lindo. He means he's from Ray Linda. Delroy, Delroy, Nadar. And two Lindo.

I'mita Racheo, Delroy Lindo. Yeah, me is Giera. Ving Rames. To my right is Delroy Lindo. To my left is Ving Rames? That's a party. That'll get you in a club. And I'm a white guy with hair.

Yeah. You're so you in Guero, Campelo. they've met though right Delroy and Ving Were we not just talking about this like Two days ago? Unless it's a designated survivor situation They're not allowed to be in the same place In the same place of the same time

Yeah Do you think like if like Delroy Little is walking onto a plane I'm sorry sir Ving Rames is on this plane He's like I get it We can't do another American pie Yeah I'll see when I see a Ving They let me on

You guys listen to the new Don McLean song Chocolate Pie Yeah About three famous Black celebrities who died It's Ving Rames, Del Rey Lindo, and Ronnie Coleman. Yeah, buddy.

Oh, man. I made a joke and then I laughed at it before I got to say it. I was going to say, chocolate pie. I got a three-day pass to that when I got a day pass to that. That's a callback. That wasn't on air.

They didn't even know we were doing that. Fuck. Chocolate pie. Chocolate pie. Oh, sorry. and my phone was playing it. I'd, yeah, sorry. You see those pictures of Ronne Coleman

wearing his suits that he had tailored for him when he was buff? That's a bummer. That's a bummer. Yeah, he's little now. His body makes me feel bad. Yeah, well, not in the way that it would have 20 years ago.

No, he's got to, he'll get you both ways. Yeah, you know, that's what happens when you're a fucking cop. Yeah. Up top. Your legs will atrophy fucking hard if you're a cop. Who fucking hack squats 900 pounds for reps?

I'll bring a gun wherever I want, snitch. There are kids who make millions of dollars opening up Legos online. Fucking Ronnie Coleman had to keep his cop job. He was the best bodybuilder in the world. And he had to have a day job. Arnold and Franco Colombo did construction for like 12 years

while they were on the top of their game winning bodybuilding. And he looked like a stripper cop. Did you ever see him in the cop? It for sure looks like he's, Because that's just what pants look like on him. There's not like pants that fit. He would have caught, he would have caught John Connor.

Absolutely. Yeah. He would have fucking picked the motorcycle. He would have went head to head with the T-800. John Connor would have came to him. He's just sitting in the mall. Sorry, buddy. He's nothing but a peanut.

Excuse me, officer. You look dope as hell. Can you teach me how to be like you? I'm not trying to be like you. I mean, in Carmel, my house. Sean George. Jesus. I thought you were going to punch a hole in my tummy.

Did you? Did you see me go down? I did see you go down. The training of the dark arts, my friend. Defensive maneuver. Sean Cuando. What happens when you listen to ICP a bunch when you're in middle school? Whoop.

And then you whoop. And then you whoop. And then you whoop. And then they enter the dark carnival. Is that what? I bet if you taught an ICP-based taekwondo class, people would take it. Clownquando? Clown-Quandojo.

I liked her on chocolate pie. Clownquandojo was second. team all picked 12 for Arizona State last year. I don't know if you guys. I don't want jugglers to know karate. You only get one of those skills. You can be a juggalo or you can know karate. Yeah, jugglers learning karate is like having all those weight benches in the prison.

Yeah. Are we doing the wrong? Are we teaching the wrong thing? Should these be yoga mats? Maybe. Yeah, right. I would venture to say that there are probably a lot of juggalo's, you know, karate. Oh, yeah.

How many people do you would, how many people know karate confidently? I learned Ta-Wondo and got into ICP. So it's a natural progression for me. Where are we putting the karate bar? This is a different idea. I think we should open a karate bar. Oh my gosh. We're going to open a place called the Dojo.

I just padded grounds and just guys get drunk and like grapple and shit. You can just fight. You can break bricks from money. You can fight anybody in there. It's fair game. It's legal. If you're drunk in a dojo, you can, you can spar. They have styrofoam nunchucks and stuff all over the place.

This sucks. I fucking played D&D and did Taekwondo in 1994 and was beat relentlessly for it by everyone. Now the coolest shit in the world is karate and D&D. And I'm a podcaster and a D&D player. And I'm a fucking, and I'm broke. What the fuck? They're like Joe Man Ginello's playing D&D with one.

Hold on, Sophia Vergara. I'll be right there. I'm playing D&D with my boys. Do you think she knows what D&D is? I think she knows what D&D is for sure She knows what double D's are Take the high five out I can't believe we did that

Four hot guys Take the high five out Remember to take testosterone Cut the high five into later When I do a worse joke Say something positive About how God's a woman And then put it back in

God's a fucking woman With big natural Big jugs God's playing D&D up there If God was a woman God would have big Fat Nettys, yeah, yeah. Do you think so?

Yeah. Or small natural. She just would not get surgery. No, absolutely not. If she did, she'd have the best in the business. I can't tithe to you if you got a BBO. Although if we're all created in God's image and some people will maybe create it in God's image. And maybe that the question is, if there are people with BBLs and breast implants and they too are created in God's image, then does God have a set of naturals and a set of fakes?

She's got four. Four, yeah. God doesn't have all that. Like a pregnant gift. Yeah. Total recall God. Does God just have everything that all of us have if we are created? Isaac, you are in the church.

Yeah, but my theology schooling does not extend as far as. You're talking about God's jugs? I think God has a bandalier of every color dick. Like a Chewbacca thing. I just got every race. Every race of dickcaster. Would God use a Jewish dick? Would a Christian God use a Jewish dick or a Muslim?

dick. I think that God does have that dick option. Yeah. I think God's uncut. I think Jesus is circumcest. Jesus is circumcest. Do you know manny faces from Master of the Universe? He-Man? I think he's got that with dicks. And I think you can switch. I remember. Which dick flops out. I remember Manny faces. Making the other he-man actually punch him in the face so it would turn. I wouldn't do it if that wasn't happen. I'd be like, you got to actually. What would you do if he found out God was real, but his penis is smaller than yours? A loving god. A fair God. Thanks.

That's a New Testament God for sure. Because Old Testament God is a huge dick. And he lets you know about it. I think that's a Gnostic God. That's the gospel of Thomas God. Right. Playing him Green Day. Yeah, like doubting Thomas.

Like, yeah, right. Let me see your dick. No way, it's small. Yeah. And you today will betray me three times, Peter. Three times I'll tell you my dick is huge and you'll pet. Yeah. Peter, what's what?

It's not that big. Three times. Peter told us he's got a little dick. Hey Judas is running around with a picture of God's dick on his phone He's trying to sell it for 30 silver Judas does that Judas is not only fans Judas is not only fans

Judas saw God getting out of the pool though And that's not really like fair play We don't have a we don't have what the temperature of the pool We didn't know what they didn't have heated pools then But it did turn to wine And everyone thought it was because he pissed And it had like the PPC in it Yeah it wasn't like cool like we think it was

Everyone's kind of like It kind of reeks of Merlo at this car I already have. Cool. Thanks, Jesus. Gee, I don't even know how to clean that. He ruined my white bathing suit. Of course, we're all wearing linen bathing shoes.

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah. Sean Cougarmel Jordan is here. What do you have to tell people about, buddy? O'Clair, Wisconsin, first week in October, second week in October, Grand Rapids, Michigan, with Kyle Canaan, third week in October, Rapid City, South Dakota. And that's it. Beautiful.

David Borders here. Cool guy, Jokes 87 on Instagram. No dates right now. a special September 9th, 800-pound gorilla on YouTube. It's out. It's out. John Gabris. No,

no live dates, but you can get the Gino-Lombardo physical media tape at gino. gabras.com, all 30 episodes of the semi-scripted Gino-Lombardo series. Full-series arcs, full-season arcs, and very cool art done by a local Long Island artist. That's gino.gabris.com. What's the form of physical media? It's a cassette tape that pulls out with the USB with all 30 episodes on it. So I did, like, liner notes and, like, all that stuff and, like, custom art and shit for it.

So I'm obsessed with physical media now. For some reason, I have more space my life for it. All right. I've gotten, I've gotten Mary in the, I've got so much more serious from a conversation from, like, a minute ago about God with the penises. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we all just talking about our plugs. Like, all right, let's fucking get it.

We came out of hyperspace. People will think there must have been some transition. Where will everyone be? I've gotten really into physical media in the last year. I think streamers have really taught us a lesson. They're like, you pay pigs enjoy. And they keep raising the prices. And I'm eventually like, I think I have Pop Star never stop stopping on like six different things.

I'm like, I have the Blu-ray. It's just in storage. If I can't find Blow streaming, I get furious sometimes. I'm like, if I get just have it. You got to call a guy to get Blumby. They just run up and start sniffing the TV. It's not one of the things they have on Amazon. Dude, they got it streaming now.

You don't have to have a guy come over your house and talk for six hours. You don't have to text a guy whose name is in your phone as Charlie Vegas. You don't have to think about how to open the conversation. You working? Is that weird? Yeah, I think you're offering anybody. What's a text before you ask for a call? Yeah. Oh, shit, man.

You still got that lizard? Like something off the last text you saw. No, I was thinking about getting samurai swords too. Anyways, sending him a picture of a snowflake emoji. like the cop's not going to know? Anyway, you're still a Coke dealer? Holy shit, those Raiders, huh? Okay, text

back if you're near a cop. Coke dealers love the Raiders. For sure. Yeah, yeah. Well, Al Davis, that's the cocaine that's a sports owner of all time. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, well, because he gives Coke to his barber. Yeah, absolutely. There you go. All right. Close your eyes and cut my hair. Here's hedge clippers and a fucking kilo. Cut my hair. Don't stop it to

you're numb. Do his barber before a haircut. You want some coke? You can see me, Ian Carmel on Instagram, Ian Carmel on Blue Sky. You can watch my special Comfort Beyond God's Foresight. Also on 800-pound gorilla, David and I are label-mates now. Hey, Death Row.

Check that out if you haven't seen it. You can buy my book, T-shirt, Swim Club, or you can listen to the audiobook if you want. You can get it from a library. Check that out, too. I have no live dates or anything like that to promote. out. Now let's podcast. Start recording now, Isaac. All that stuff was just to play

at her ego. We could talk about my book all day. That's the other thing we're talking about. But instead, we're here to fantasy draft. Steve's. Oof. Okay. Steve's. I'm very excited for this draft. Now, was this Patreon? It was one of the Patreon

ones. That makes a little more sense because Sean texts to me. He's like, we're thinking about doing Steve, or if you have any other pitches. A bunch. And I pitched a bunch back. He's like, how do you feel about Steve?

What were your pitches? Oh, they were all done. They were like, no, they were great. It was just, it was like, I was just thinking about everyone's sleeping.

I'm like, what's going to be the easy one? What's going to be? Right. Sean texted us last night. I think like I was in bed. I think it was like midnight or something. Yeah.

Yeah, I happen to just be absolutely baked having fallen asleep watching the burbs for work. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, I'm a 43-year-old man. That's what I was doing. late at night for work.

They're crazy that these are our jobs. I love it. It's really wonderful. Then my job switched to Googling Steve's in the middle of the time. Tengential. Yeah, we got a bunch of texts from Sean like, what do you think about this? And then it's just like, I'm making an executive decision. It was just like pop, blah, blah, blah.

It was like, Steve. It felt like you were spirally. I threw in some of the other ones. I was, yeah. I was having a rough night. My mind was elsewhere last night. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just for me, it was an easy one. Yeah, you were watching, you were watching 9-11. Trying to get cooking. I was watching, show was watching Zite Guys too. He was watching Loose Change again. Talking to the neighbors, get in here, get in here. Show was hearing that jingle-jangle, if you know what I mean? We watched Zite Geist one and two together, didn't we?

Yes, we did. The old apartment, and we were just sitting there like, Back to Back to Back? Yeah, and we're like, I can't say they're not making points. I think we were eating like blue bonded ice cream and drinking Mountain Dew watching Zite Geist. So dangerous. Yeah. On, like, day three of the pandemic, we were locked in the house.

I had just gotten a volcano the second the pandemic hit. I was like, I got a PS5 in a volcano. And I'm like, oh, let me watch this hyper-normalization doc. Everyone tells me about it. I was like, not the time. I, like, ruined my wife's day. I was like, do you have any ideas? Like, we are locked in the fucking house together and now I'm getting radicalized.

You're not in control. You understand. What's this preparing us for? We can't go back out there. And it is funny to bring that up. based on 2025. Yeah, a dude, I know. Guy was correct.

He was making a lot of sense. I've never seen it. You haven't seen hypernormalization? That's a fucking good one. Yes. What's the guy's name again? Adam Curtis. Adam Curtis.

Yeah. Firsty, firsty. Maybe I'll go bum myself out. Go bum yourself out? No, you need to watch Braveheart today. Oh, you haven't watched Braveheart? He's never seen Braveheart. I'm so jealous that you get to like.

It's a me movie, too. Ray Hart is like something I would like. He hates Jews. I don't even know Mel Gibson as an actor I just listen to his voicemail The philosopher, Mel says into his wife The voicemails he leaves his wife I love him from that

The recording artist, no wonder the Malibu police Let him do whatever he wants Mel Gibson The cheeseburger guy, that guy's in movies The rapper? The avant-garde rapper Mel Gibson There's got to be a rapper He uses a lot of the same vocabre

Is it Melvin? Is it Melvin Gibson is so much. funny. Melvin Gibson? Because I don't know. Is it Melvin Gibson? Let me look it up. It would be crazy. It's melatonin? Carmel. It's Carmel Gippson. It's Carmel. Mel? It's just Mel.

Mel? That's the most Australian shit. Columcile Gerard Gibson. His first name is just Mel, but he has two middle names. Two little names that are buck as hell. Columcile. Columseal. Not to pull, not to, I would hate to speak bad about Mel Gibson, but he was not born in Australia. He's from Westchester County, New York. His dad won jeopardy

and moved the whole family to Australia when he was like two years old. So he's American. Yeah, he's born American raised in Australia. I don't know why, but that makes me really angry. Yeah, I don't know what. It's like stolen Aussie Valor. Yeah. But he did have the

he grew up there. He grew up there. He had the accent. You can hear it in like lethal weapon even. I saw a tanker that can hold that gazellane. Remember when he said that? Yeah, it's starting to sound like Ziggy. Yeah, you can even leave the weapons. Oh, you guys. Like, he'll slide into it.

Yeah. You're like, you know, I don't an Australian in this fucking movie, dude. Enie, meenie, mo'y, me. It's a good thing, our politics align. Otherwise, I'd probably get mad at him for that. I might have to write you up. His grandfather was a millionaire tobacco businessman from the southern United States. That's evil.

That's evil. Leath a weapon starring Daniel Glover and Melvin Gibson. Just Mel baby. Is his real name just Danny? No, he lives in Lake, he's a Lake. He's a Portland guy. Hold, please. He's a Portland guy, right?

He lives there. La Daniel. Danny. Who am I looking at? Danny Glover. Dan Glover. He's from San Francisco. Le Daniel.

La Daniel O'Gloved Tomlinson. Danny Glover is named Danny Glover. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm sure he's Daniel on his birth certificate, but you know. It must be. Sag makes you pick that name for good to, you know, like Michael Keaton's real name.

is Michael Douglas. But he couldn't pick that because there was already a Michael Douglas. Oh, I thought it was Buster Keat. His real name was Buster Douglas. That's really confusing. If Michael Keaton

fought Mike Tyson. Albert Brooks's real name is Albert Einstein. Right. Really? Yes. And Bob Einstein. His brother.

Yeah. What's been Diesel's real name again? Vincent Diesel? No, it's like, it's like, Mark Sinclair. That's what it is. Oh, right. Yeah. So crazy. Oh, I thought it was Vincenzo DiCorelli. Giovanni Fier-Platey.

Well, hell, yeah. Where are we doing? We're fucking drafting steves. Steve. We're drafting steves. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors, played between the three of you.

And we throw on shoot. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Gaborz wins. A natural paper gets to. rocks. A natural victory. John is the winner is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft, but before you do that,

I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? It's a great question. It's like Gomez Adams kissing up and down Mortisha's arm. So he does double at the wrist and double at the shoulder. Man, he was horny, huh? They were horny as hell. Have you seen Mortisha though? Yeah. Yeah. They didn't

play her out like Peg Bundy though. At least Mortisha was like supposed to be. Yeah, she was a smoke. But Peg Bunny, I thought Al was the only one who thought she wasn't hot. Like, By the way, Al was also, he's in really good shape in that show. Like, they make him a slum. Yeah, he tried out for the Colts. He played for the Steelers.

He tried out for the Steelers. That actual dude. He played for him. Yeah. He played for him. He played for him and he was in training camp or whatever. And then they were going to extend his contract or no, they were going to send him to be maybe a cult, whatever.

They're like, we found you a team to play for. And then he was like, no, I'm going to be an actor. And then he moved to New York. Ed O'Neill. Ed O'Neill. He had a roster to professional football acting. It's crazy because he like, he fought. He was a fighter.

I mean, like a bar fighter. This used to be who our leading men were in Hollywood. They were like, he was a Marine, he was a quarterback. He was an archer, a poet. He thought acting was gay and then got into it when he realized he was also gay. He had to give me an absolute renaissance man. And now it's like he was friends with Logan Paul. And now he has an Amazon Prime movie.

Fucking A. Have you ever looked into Chris Christopherson's life and career? yeah crazy he was a road scholar hold on him and Bill Clinton I learned probably about a year ago on this show

that it's not ROAD scholar by the way I thought it was road scholar yeah that's what you call that you call your stand-up Like you're on the road a bunch yeah I'm the road scholar A bit of a road scholar

you catch me in Bismarck next weekend if enough people didn't know that I didn't actually know that that would be a good name for the next special and now they'd be like where you're just showing us how dumb you are again

we remember God, yeah. So he just got a crazy life. He was so good at like football and rugby union and track that he was in one of those SI like up and coming. You know where they're like, this guy's just like an amazing athlete. And they just wrote about him.

Yeah, I used to always wish I could be in that in high school. Oh, fuck. So Chris Christophers was in one of those. And then he was a Rhodes Scholar. And then he like wrote all the, he's just like wrote songs for me. What do you have to do to be a road school? He went to US Army Ranger school and completed helicopter pilot training.

what see now this is who needs to hang out with blade and he was a highway man right that's the real whistler eventually that's my whistler he thought it was a dog he used to fly workers to and from oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico and he would write new songs while he was America Gulf of America sorry and he would write new songs like while he was flying

back and forth is that what wait what yes after being a road scholar instead of like taking a job at like you know Goldman's He was like, I'm just going to fly helicopter. He became an Army Ranger and then flew helicopters to and from oil rig. Steve McQueen was like, I'm going to race cars. And now, like, our mega celebrities are like, I'm going to launch a mobile phone company.

You're like, oh, fucking cool. I own a soccer team. Awesome. Billionaires, billionaires, zoom out from fucking movie stars. Billionaires used to have to at least launch museums so we hated them less. And now billionaires just do podcasts. He's that fucking crazy. The Sacklers were absolute villains, but they built wings of museums.

Elon can't even make a fucking donation to the fucking Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. To be fair, his museum would suck. It would absolutely suck. It would be memes. It's a meme museum. It's a meme museum. My son's X. Z loves it. Fuck you.

Get him. This is a pretty pro-Elon podcast. Sorry, Bob. He always texts me if we, if we dog, him out he's like pro i wish i wish rust cole could sit down with him and just say i'm gonna want to kill yourself yeah i just rewatch true detective season one so okay my rus cole reps are on fire that was weird i like you season one man god it's fucking heavy gabers with that in mind what will the order of today's draft be you get to pick oh okay i thought all right uh well let's do uh we'll start

david and go uh left to right for the viewers at all right yeah john e and Sean. Okay. David Johnny and John, David Johnny and Sean, David, Johnny and Sean. Dave, you have the first pick in the Steve's. How many do we end up doing on this? Five each. Five each. Now, before we get into this.

In case you don't know what five times four is idiot. That's great. I go five each, 20 total. Why would I say that? So it's 20 total? Okay, that's all I need to know is the total. That helps me. I can figure it out from there.

I'll do the rest of the math from 20. It's 80 less than 100 total. All right, yeah. If we're doing 20, 20. Steve's. Now, there are Steve adjacent names. Stevens. Stevees.

Isaac says no. I don't think they should count. I think it should be Steve's. Hard Steve. Okay, because even a Stephen? I like hardcore, hard steves. Hard steves makes it more difficult. Yeah, for sure.

I said all of us in this, I said loose. Did we not say loose? You said loose. I can go hard. We were a bad. We didn't disagree. I did say to him I did text back

Stevens only do Stevens account he goes whatever your mind desires bro or something like He was on a different wave last night I'm down to keep it strict Let's go hard thieves I don't have enough written down

Hard thieves Steve's with bonus You better find a Steve door To help you unload some new steves Oh there he goes Steve's Yeah nice All right

Fuck Steve's Steve's only Steve's okay Well that changes a lot David you have the first pick And we're gonna get to it Christmas Steve

right at it's Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve you have the first pick we're gonna get to it right after it's Steve and Eve not Adam and Steve it's Steve and Steve not Stephen and anyone

good stevening ma'am that's what that show is about you guys got to stop the wrist you have to take a break enough's enough we'll be right back this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you

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everything. Those are the only things you're permitted to listen to. Yeah. David Bore, you have the first pick. Stone Cold Austin. Damn it.

Motherfucker. Of course, of course. He drank beers. He fucking took out the whole McMahon family. Have you ever watched that? Were you just like, uh, stuns everybody? Ah, it's fine. Wow, wow.

Stephanie, surely he won't. Oh, yeah. I also loved. He's awesome. That guy's the best. I love that he went zero to stunner. Because like usually in a wrestling match, you know, like you think, okay, he has to work up to his finishing move, right?

Yeah. That's kind of the story that they like. to tell. Fucking right into the stunner. Well, they have to keep that illusion alive or else why not just come out immediately spear the guy, pin him? Why do you wait to do your finishing?

Like, just, there's no imaginary energy bar that you need to build up so you unlock the special hit L&R at the same time thing. But you have to make this world or else it's just like, just walk in, stun the Undertaker Pinham and walk home. Just give everybody to the rocks bottom and leave. What's going on? Also, denim shorts.

Denim shorts. Oh, fuck. Seena couldn't pull it off. Seena did pull it off. Xena looks nearly as cool as Stonecoldson. No. Are you talking about talking about strong bald energy earlier? Man, that's... Come on.

Okay, that's a very positive. He made me want to chug beers early. Yeah, yeah. Positive male role model. Yeah. I used to impress all the older kids when I got this lifeguarding job. I used to impress all the older kids

because I practiced doing Stone Cold Steve Austin on like water bottles and stuff at home. So to date, I can pour a beer from arms length of way. and barely spill any of that. That's commitment to the craft. Something I'm so proud of. Get at me.

You ever done it like in a bar and they're just like, brother, you can't be doing it. The frequency in which I brought a performative element to an area where that no one wanted it is so real in my life where the amount of times

where I'm like at a party and I'm like, it's actually from the movie and I'm at the whole part and everyone at the party is like fucking shoot this guy. Stone Coldens from Rose and a top of us.

in Barcelona. Can we get you a water bottle for the meeting? And you're like, total god. But yeah, Stone Cold, the music, the man. Yeah, good call. My older brother was, like, so into Stone Cold Steve Austin, which only made him cooler to me, too. Like, he was so powerful already.

He's still cool. He's still got him. He's awesome. Yeah, he's got the right vibes. Broken Skull Ranch, brother. I played him in a... My school required a health video project They did make for health class

And we did the dangers of steroids But really it was just me and like eight friends Doing wrestling walk-ons For like the first nine minutes of the video But in the 10th minute Stone Cold pour steroids into his mouth Like their beer and OD Oh, that's awesome.

It was me. I smashed together two jars In my mom's fish oil And poured them all over my face. To go black and white sad violin music Just don't Stone Cold Steve Austin What a great thing

What a big swing I'm gonna end up having to like Google other steves Because I'm I'm in the I've already done it I got the list open Hell yeah All right

If fuck without the Stevens Okay I'm gonna have to go I'm gonna have to go I'm gonna have to go Bouchemi Yeah that's great Yeah absolutely That's a first round talent right there Yeah

Yeah I don't have much of a choice man He's just a fucking you know hero he made a movie called Trees Lounge named for like a famous Long Island bar and it takes place on one island so it's a kind of hometown hero. Is he from Long Island? No, he's from New York though, I think.

He's a firefighter, right? He was a FDN. Y, yeah. And not in like the Seagall, I almost spoiled, but he's not a Steve. No, he don't count. Yeah, yeah. So like not in like a stolen valor.

I'm also a sheriff. Give me a gun. Like all these like rich people event, like Shaq and Elvis, like eventually become a cop and stuff. Ronnie Coleman Ronnie Coleman Elvis is like

I kind of like I kind of forgive Elvis is becoming an FDA agent because I'm just like he didn't know like he was on so many like barbiturates at the time I don't think he had any idea

he was a martial artist and a sheriff and he was good old days he was a soldier he like the good old days the karate bar is a good idea by the way we should put a pin in that

yeah you should dress code you should have to wear a you should have to wear a ghee when you arrive yeah and then like the

Regulars have geese in their cars or stuff. Like, eventually get good. After, like, 100 days of drinking or whatever, you get. You get a belt. Oh, you get belts. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. That's crazy. When you get up to be like a red, like, the higher belts, get you different drink specials. Yeah. Yeah.

You get an extra hour on free. Yeah. Double black belts. But it's like, it's like real black belt where it takes 10 years. Yeah. You got to, like, go to Japan to get it. And you got to like serve drinks to other white belts to prove that you know if you're doing. Like, it's like all that shit.

Dude, because I do want to be in a key with my friend. For sure. Dude, a geese is of real fucking shit. We should be wearing geese. We should be the best key pocket. My mom found my old uniform. I showed you the picture. My mom, I went to this place called Sue Falls Black Belt School.

And she found the shirt with the big tiger on it that said Sue Paul's Blackbilt's We're getting close to the jacket. We got to get the jacket. She said it's like an adult men's large. I'm like, well, that's me. I went to Nick Menna Karate, which was an Italian Korean War Vets garage on Long Island. Yeah. where he had USMC tattooed on his knuckles

for the United States Marine Corps, covered in tattoos, wore a huge cross chain in his hairy chest and a A shirt, a ribbed tank top and would teach karate in that. And I thought it was so cool as a kid. And then my dad, who picked us up and dropped us off, eventually joined the dojo,

and it ruined karate for me. Oh, but now my dad is taking it seriously. Like, I'm like, what a fucking loser. It's also funny, because that probably wasn't karate. No, it was Taekwondo for sure But he just was sanctioned Yeah, it was sanctioned It was in this dude's garage

Yeah, yeah But it was the move, the real move Yeah, it was officially called He learned it in Korea Which is the as a Taekwondo Taekwondo is an art from Korea But it was still called karate I think from marketing

In like Long Island in the 90s They don't know They don't know They don't know what Japan is Korea is Yeah, no it doesn't matter I think I do And before I was friends with you

And I appreciate that when I had to learn where all the countries were. I'll work on your show under one circumstance. David better fucking learn where Korea is. And I did. And I did. Where's Korea? Further north than you think.

Further north than you think. That's true. This is true. Yeah. Kiyongyang. Oh, excuse me. That's north. But yeah. I'm just saying stuff. Busan, dude.

snack food. Hey, I watched five episodes of Butterfly this morning, so I'm ready to rip. Is that Korean? It's Daniel Day Kim's show. It takes place in Seoul. I don't know if he's actually Korean. it's him being stranded in Seoul yeah it's crazy crazy premise

Daniel Day Kim from lost That's him that I didn't want to sound like a racist He's the guy from a Lincoln He'll be blood Age of Innocent acting I love that by the way Daniel Day Lewis is like Hasn't been in a movie in 10 years and he's coming out

One that his son wrote and directed Imagine you can get My dad could be in the movie Who's your dad? Daniel Day Lewis Yeah Green light bitch I thought he said he was like I thought he retired, for real.

He did, but then his son wanted to direct, and you know how it is, dude. That's the ultimate Nepo shit. Yeah, I'm sorry. It is, dude. Fine, I'll be in another movie as Daniel Day Lewis. If Maxine, if your daughter directed a movie and it was like, Daddy, will you please be in it? You'd do it. Even though you've retired for Matthew.

What if she wanted to film a skate part? I'm not, I don't want her to get on the board, man. I'm not, I'm not juiced for, like, her to start skating if she wants to. I don't know how people have a four-year-old kid out there and want them to skate, but it's so dangerous. Helmet? Yeah, all the pads. But when did you start skating? After taekwondo.

So I started skating when I was like 14. Yeah. That's like the average age when you're like... That seems reasonable. And riding your bike becomes corny. You start skating. At least than that's what happened to me. We're like, I think we're getting a little old to ride our bikes around.

Like, how you guys want to try skateboarding? You should teach her how to play jazz trumpet. That's safe. We got a piano. Teacher the piano, teacher coding and teacher martial arts. Yep. Digital marketing probably. The big three.

Podcast engineering. out. Teach you're one of those sports only rich kids do like fencing. So then if she's even kind of athletic she can go to the Olympics.

Teach how to put captions on stand-up videos on Instagram so she can work for you. Man. Really use some help with this. Give her my number. I know.

We've got four new business parts. Old man's a little out of touch. Yeah, I don't know. Bouchem. I should be, my wife and I just watched Fargo last night on account of blank checks doing all the,

you were wonderful on there. You were wonderful on there. My appearance, by the way. But the, they're doing all the Cohen Brothers movies So we watched Fargo last night Buscemi's in that

Bushemey's fucking great Fargo is in a fucking beautiful movie He's awesome in everything He's awesome in Mr. Deeds He brings never bad He brings like the same energy To Billy Madison As he does to like

All the art house movies and shit he's in He's just such a treat Like wearing bug eyes in one movie And then like taking it super seriously I love that guy I saw a screening of Reservoir Dogs At the Vista the other day him in that movie

steals the show in a movie full of heavy hitters but I thought Bouchemey was the best Tim Roth tried to steal the show no but Roth he tried he tried he was really really acting in that movie

he was really getting something done the American accent pretty convincing yeah he was I love I saw the Kill Bill Volume 1 and 2 whole bloody affair at the vista and it was shortly after Michael

Madsen had passed away and in the credits when his name came up, huge pop applause. And I turn to the guy I'm with. I'm like, I fucking love L.A. Later on it says, executive reduced by Harvey Weinstein. The whole crowd, boo-hoo. And I was like, I'll like fucking rules.

They're booing EPs. They know what development execs to hate. It's awesome. That's awesome. Busemi, great pick. Time for my pick. Ooh. What?

Oh, man. Damn, yeah. Dunked on him. Yeah. It was going to be the first pick, yeah. Show me. Harvey? I predicted his sexiness, by the way.

His, like, sexy role that he fell into where he's wearing, like, designer suits and everything and doing GQS. Well, we've been wearing designer suits. Well, right. You're saying they got a little, they got a little tighter. They got a little tailored. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been, been wearing suits. Yeah.

the original shoulder pads of comedy we should all get Steve Harvey suits we should sitting here wouldn't that be awesome wouldn't that be so fucking awesome okay we get karate geese we get Steve Harvey suits hold on maybe that's a different bar

I think we have the Steve Harvey suits tailored into karate geese yeah we just tie a bow on it yeah I don't even know what you're saying karate suits yeah I like it though yeah I'm on board Harquando Harquando

Harquanne Karadvi. Karadvi? Karadvi? Karashti? We'll put it on the cork board work on it. Steve Harvey, so fucking funny. Just in kind of everything he does.

And sort of managed to be at least lightly part of pop culture for, is it 50 years now? Five years? He's around forever. More ubiquitous than a lot of other people would have ever been in our lives. like he's had so many phases to us it's like so wild he has one of the most singular mustaches in current pop culture

yeah he's got that Mr. Potatohead vibe is he in a thing with the Steve Harvey show yeah does he not have a mustache ever is he ever been out there without a stash like has he ever been anything without a mustache I feel like I haven't seen it I don't think I have either no even Bert Reynolds shaved it in the longest yard like that's fucking crazy to imagine

another dude who like was like came from like got into acting but was playing football and doing crazy ship before. Yeah, he almost went pro, yeah. That's back in the day where you would just say you were part Native American. Like, every guy was like, yeah, I'm part Cherokee. Yeah, it's like, okay.

My dad, I'll tell you this. At the beginning of a bottle of vodka, I was like 164th Cherokee. And when there was this much vodka left, I was like, I was Cherokee. Yeah, we were Cherokee. He would, yeah, he would start talking. He would start trying to teach me Cherokee.

I mean, it was. No way. Your dad got so drunk he taught you in Native American languages? I've, there's a couple of things. It's Cherokee or Lakota, but yeah, Jaywashish Chinakaka as Juanucci. Johnny Kakashimasha. No, just particular phrases.

Actual, actual Cherokee. I thought you meant he got so shit-faced. He would just like make it up. He was trying to order a pizza. I was that Cherokee? Dad, you're not making any sense. Shawnee, I was a coat talk. I was a wind talk.

Dad, just let's watch this Larry Bird documentary. Tonight, let's let the wind talk. I was a wind talker But funny comedian, funny actor Funny game show host Style icon Novelist I just Googled Steve Harvey

Without a mustache And I think I think I'm traumatized You're on a list now Yeah I didn't want to look it up In your face Isaac like started shaking a little bit I was like oh my God Now Google him shirtless That'll get you there

You're gonna die in one week Like you just watched the ring Yeah I don't want that to happen Get shirtless though Shirtless will fix you know must He's got a little tiny mustache in the middle of his head. One underneath each nipple.

Believe it or not, there are images. No, we know. We've seen him. It's a famous photo shoot. He's shredded. It's crazy to get topless and then put on jeans. Yeah, that's wild.

I get photographed that way. I had a friend who worked on the Steve Harvey daytime talk show and they would have to have like a meeting once a week that was for the entire staff. But clearly was just one thing they needed to tell Steve. like so it would be like we actually can't say oriental you know what I mean

it would be like company wide meeting like 100 people in the conference room and everyone's like what and it's like Steve just like nodding and my buddy's like we would have one meeting a month that was such a hyper specific thing of like okay so here's some things we shouldn't do to our coworkers it was clearly only for Steve but no one could say like

we should have a one on one with him you can't tell a woman you'd like to pop a boba straw into that booty and suck and nobody can say that. Nobody. Not even the janitors. Nobody can say that. Everybody's here.

That was so specific. Not in the workplace. Well, yeah, he says hyper-specific. Pretty funny, dude. Yeah, you know. Funny specific things. Funny specific things. Specific ocean.

Sean, time for your first and second picks. Got to go to the best God-fearing, Protestant, white male vocalist in all time, Steve Winwood. Yeah. I love Steve Winwood. I love him so much. I think he's one of the best singers that's ever. ever existed. I'm so funny.

I saw him come up and like when I Googled famous Steve and I don't even know who this fucking guy is. Oh yes you do. This man loves Steve Winwood.

Steve Winwood, dude. Lead singer for traffic. Lead singer for the Spencer Davis Group. You know that song? Give me some loving. Give me, give me, that's Steve Winwood.

I like to say. Valerie, I hate to keep piling on but you're like, you definitely know he is. Lead singer of traffic, lead singer of river blues. Like two phrases I've never heard

in my life. Oh, yeah. Rocket Talk Steve and the honking You love Rwarkystocks. If he would say, like, oh, he's a guitarist and the Steve Miller banners. I couldn't even play. Oh, Steve Miller.

You can't. They couldn't. You can't have two of the same band. Higher love. Valerie. You knew the, you know these. Steve Winwood, man. I love him.

I love to pieces. We've talked about him a whole bunch. He's from Birmingham. Is Alabama boy? No, he's from England. Oh, sure. That was awesome. That was awesome.

Al-A-Lammer. Pretty solid. Roll-Tide. Brammer. Bama accent by Ian. I just realized I didn't, he's British. I never heard of talk.

Down there in muscle shells. He's supplying muscle shows. Yeah. Never heard him talk. That's a good brummy. Oh, thank you. Yeah. It's a good what?

Brumee of people from Birmingham. Birmingham. Birmingham. Birmingham. He said it wrong, idiot. Birmingham. Way down in Alabama, Bam, Bama. Isn't that where Oasis is?

from? They're from Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. I'm from Northern Cold Dumpshire.

Like all the names when you get fucking narrowed down it's like I'm from Cumshire. What? There was one.

It was like It said like the dirtiest road trip through Ireland and it was just like 15 towns where you're like what?

You're allowed to call it this? I can't even I can't post this because some of these words you cannot say this. We've traced back your family.

history and you're from a place called Kunt's Lament. You can't get the city you're from as a vanity plate. That's awesome. You couldn't wear high school stuff. Your great, great, great, great grandfather was the third bairn of boiling

shit calderin on Thames. On Thames. Play cricket there, so good. Yeah, you love Steve Winwood. You were going to get either Harvey or Winwood, right? I knew that was going to be the first. There's

that for the first one. Second one, I'm going to stay musical going Steve Perry. Oh, okay. I'd love to say it. I think Perry's better than Winthropo Chasers. You know who I'm talking about. Now I know who Steve Perry is. Barbecue Chase, Five Oceans. He was a band called Five Oceans. He was one half of the duo that brought us Perry Ellis

clothing. Him and Sean Ellis. The back of back from the New York Jets in 1999? Of course. I only know him because my uncle still talks about how he landscapes his house. That's like the most Long Island shit ever is that my uncle's a landscaper

and all he talks about is how Sean Ellis and him are very cool with each other. And it's been for 15 years though he hasn't played for like the last 12. And my uncle still just hasn't gotten a new celebrity to re-off it. So he's still like, I was over at Sean Ellis's house the other day, rolled me a fat blonde.

It was very cool. And I'm like, yeah, he sounds really cool. He is just a retired 40. guy at this point he's just a rich 40 year old dude who lives on long island now he had nine tackles against the broncos like my dad sat next to howie long on a plane one time and that's all and he would bring it up like they were in nom together he's the neck on this fucking guy was wasn't your dad also huge yeah six six three 50 whoa my dad was my dad was six five 250 tall lanky guy yeah do you think they're talking about big guy stuff sitting next to each other i think howie long

probably wasn't too chatty okay i think my dad was probably drunk out of his mind. I fucking love Firestorm. Anybody call you Howard? How do you get it so even? Did you sue Gile?

That's you right. You're Gile, right? What do you feed your neck? It's actually two necks. You killed the guy and took his neck, didn't you? Two necks put together. We should go get some pussy after this. I'm going to tell my son about it.

This is then shortly leave after he's born. Not all of them, it is. Shoot or shoot. What's your favorite journey song? Point with my pinky again. Oh, I don't know, man. I mean, it can't be don't stop believing. It's played.

Why? That's played. It could be, though. I like, um... Does he have a solo song called, Oh, Sherry? Yeah. I fucking love that song. Yeah.

That's a banger. Maybe. Or am I thinking. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Yeah. Oh, Sherry. Our love.

Hold on. What's, um... This one. What should have been gone. That's the one. Should have been gone. That's this song. Made you feel.

Oh, that's so Sherry? Yeah. Okay, then that, we'll say. All right. So solo. Yeah, I also really like the, what's the lights in the city song? Is it just called Lights in the City? When the lights go down in the city, I want to be there in my city.

I know wheel on the sky keeps on turning. I'll tell you that. That's a good one. Yeah, you got a pinky point. It made a play over here. Go nowhere I'll be tomorrow. Perfect. See, a lot of people are going to think.

think Steve Perry was in the studio. He retired from singing. Yeah, upgrade to the video tier to see Steve Perry sing these songs. Yeah, yeah. He burst in, took the mic. He's got a podcast to headgum, too. He has a prehensile penis. He used this prehensile penis to take my microphone and sing into it.

What's prehensile? You can use it as a hand, like a prehensile tail. Prehensile tail, you have like a little bit of motor control over it. Yeah. Interesting. You fucking numbskull. Brother. You Nimrod.

Can't be hot and smart. You do. I like that as a comeback. I wish I would have thought of it years ago. You weren't hot then. Now you're hot. Now it makes sense. That was an ugly idiot back then.

Now I'm a gorgeous asshole. I love it. Now only my friends are mean to me. Time of my second pick. And I'm going to take Steve Nash, dude. Oh, nice. Steve Nash. Oh, yeah.

Okay. If you were in the Steve Nash game, the way I was in the Steve Nash game, you know he's second round talent. That guy, Canadian, right? South African, moved to Canada. Oh, interesting. The worst kind of Canadian.

See, he forgot. Well, white, South African. I would definitely move him up in my area. No, no. He's family owned a gem mine and they won. No, no, no. He was one of that. Nope, I'm looking at this more.

He was actually, never mind. Let's not. Does it dissent. Anytime I think of South Africa, I think we talked about him earlier. Danny Glover when the guy goes But you're blick He says I'm bleak

I'm blick And they all keep And him and Pesci All keep saying it like You blick He says you blick And they're laughing about it I'm black

I remember being a kid And being like to my dad I'm like what is this Talking about? I didn't get any of it What is his commentary on? What is yeah What is happening?

I didn't know what a diplomat was And I remember asking my mom Like can diplomats just murder people Because that's what they're doing In this movie They're just And he keeps saying at the end He's like

Diplomitic a And you're like, what the fuck does that mean? I have a distinct memory of my dad going, it's a real thing, but they mostly use it to like go through red lights and stuff. And like to not have to wait in line and stuff. And I was like, because when you're a kid, when you hear like a blanket thing, like if you are a diplomat, you can kill people.

You're like, that's awesome. Yeah, it seems like the best job. I've got to become a diplomat. Why does I thirst for blood? He, his parents were Welsh and British. His dad was a professional soccer player who was playing in South Africa so that's why he was there.

Okay. He was an entourage one time, so I like that. That's right. A lot. Steve Nash. Two-time MVP, eight-time All-Star,

and the seven seconds or less sons were one of the most fun things that has ever happened in basketball. He was a blast. Just like a cool guy. Never going to ring?

Never got a ring? Never got a ring, but he did get second choice from Ian Carmel in an episode of All Fantasy, everything. I don't know, you know, wasn't there?

Put it in the Rafters, man. a conspiracy that his kid wasn't his? Is that Steve Nash or am I thinking of a different person? No, you're thinking of Brent Barry and Tony Parker

on the Spurs. Okay, I got that. You can see I'd mix those up. Welcome back to Spectrum Sports. You could see. Returnity, question mark and a big over the shoulder. Steve Nash, yeah.

Yeah, and I've heard he smells amazing. I could buy that. I believe it. Yeah. I believe it. I love when a big sweaty athlete famously smells good. That's awesome.

Awesome. John, time for your second. Here we go. I'm going to go with, there's two of them, but I'm going with Steve McQueen. Yeah. Isn't it weird if I keep saying

the white Steve McQueen? Like, is that a racist man in the bottom? I'm referring, of course, to the white Steve McQueen. You mean the South African Steve McQueen. Yeah, yeah. I say it all night, up and down the street. He's a beautiful man, a great actor. Race car driver.

Race car driver. very interesting fucking dude learned martial arts from Bruce Lee to keep it in the family to keep the topics karate based so you know and one of those actors that you heard like your dad talk about a bunch

and you were like yeah okay hot guy actor big deal and then you watch one of his movies when you were grown up and you're like yeah well everyone was right about he's absolutely fucking stowling your dad's talking about it and like listen I know your mom's always talking about

how she wishes I was more like Steve McQueen there's a reason for that She's right. I do too. I need to direct. I only play pickup. I scream in my pillow and I say that. I just don't want you to hear it.

You know what's crazy is how Damian Lewis looks exactly like him in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I mean, it's like uncanny. Jamie Lewis would love hearing that. He does. He does pull it off. He does pull it off. Oh yeah, yeah.

It's crazy, man. But yeah, I don't, I've never actually seen any Steve McQueen movies. What? I know. Is he in Braveheart? He's a grave heart. Can I two birds it tonight? You're going to get through it.

Bullet is like his most famous one. He looks fucking sexy as fucking. What's the one where he plays at PLW? Is he it? The Great Escape. Oh, the Great Escape. I only know that from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, too, that they reference it in their, like, put Nardwin.

That's a great movie, too, believe it or not. Did he race motorcycles too? That's just in the Great Escape he rode motorcycle. But this is of the era where these guys were like, I can fly a plane, I can fly a chopper. That's what they, like, He did ride motorcycles. He's in the motorcycle Hall of Fame.

Yeah, I can. Which, we're all in, too? Which I guess we're at 60 bucks. We get the patch. He was honored with the Warren's Yvonne Tribute Award by the Asbestos Disease Awareness Organization posthumously. I watched something on the Wizard of Oz the other day, and they were saying a fact, the snow was like dried up asbestos that they were sprinkling on it.

That's so funny. The witch's makeup was like. Like, she couldn't, it was poisonous and flammable. It's, you're just like, are you serious? This is what movies used to be like. Going back to your dad telling you dumb shit, when we watched Wizard of Oz for the first time, my father goes,

you know, Jadi, Duriga, the Wizard of Oz, but they're filmed with these little people, they all fucked like crazy. It was the biggest gathering of little people that they've ever seen, so they were all sucking and fucking, I'm like, 11 years old, and I'm like, oh, that's really interesting.

You know what else I found out? Who judge your dad that you think? I'm wondering This is pre-internet for the most part. Somebody had to be like, you know they fuck each other. I love it when dudes like, just you just make something up at a bar and then a year later,

that's something that happened and you're telling your 11-year-old son. And it's like he's talking about it 35 years later on a lot. The dog made more than anyone who was cast as a little person than that. The dog made like 125 bucks a day and they all made like 50 bucks total, I think.

Oh, my God. Isn't that insane? That's so brutal. At least Hollywood has figured it all out. Yeah, at least they're good now. Yeah, they're real. Everyone's, everything's worked down. Everything's fair.

Everything's really good. Good job. No more, no more asbestos getting sprinkled on it. You need to watch some Steve McQueen movies, dude. Yeah. Have you seen a bunch? I've seen a couple. You just break my nose.

I know it's the same joke, but I keep thinking about you really did do it. David, time for your second and third picks. Irwin. Fuck, dude. That was a big one for me. That was a big one for me. That's like, I mean, yeah.

Stone cold Steve Irwin. Stone cold Steve Irwin. He's slamming gators up in heaven. Yeah, yeah. Man, he ruled. He really is. Well, you stopped to think about it. It's pretty fucking crazy that our generations,

a lot of stuff happened to us. You know what I mean? Like 9-11 happened while we were alive. Between 9-11 and the death of Steve Irwin. And the death of Steve Irwin. in life. Too much brutality. I'm just like, they can't,

our animal guy got stabbed in the heart by a stingray and died? I know, how many animal guys have there been? There's a bunch. Every generation has an animal guy. Jacques Cousteau lived a long time. Like, every generation gets an animal guy. Ours was stabbed in the heart

by a fucking stingray. That's crazy. Shot. Shot through the heart. Shot! Yeah, from a distance. You give love a bad ray. There he is. That's why we're not paying you anything.

That would have killed on C-100. Oh, yeah. That's the kind of shit I was writing all the time. I got another thing for you, Elvis Duran. The zoo crew is going to go ape shit when they hear this. History has been so kind to Steve Irwin. We kind of mocked him a little bit because he was like his energy was off. Yeah.

And then like it's like he led insane conservation. And then when you see his family, his family is like, and hopefully it's not just for money and weirdness. But they're all like crazy nature for. freaks down to, like, Bindi Irwin, yeah, they all love it. They all wear the fucking safari suits and shit like that. And it's like that, he ended up, we roasted him, rightfully so, but he ended up being like a fucking good egg for society.

Yeah. We need more people whose jobs is to be like, animals are amazing. Don't put garbage in their homeland. Yeah. No, he was the best. He was charismatic and passionate. His wife from Oregon. He's going to toss that out there.

He's going to toss that out there. Or an Australian. Oregon, Australia. Nothing wrong with that. You know, I had a PNW, might. Get on your big weird bike. The E-rigan dicks. See, you're read for the dicks.

I can't do an Australian accent. Ooh, he was praised by Sir David Attenborough. Oh, that's the fucking blessing if you're a nature guy. The only bigger blessing would be from Rick Flair. That would be... Do you know how he got the name of Nature Boy? We talked about thinking of this out the other day. Do you know?

We don't know either. We have no idea. I wish I had to find back for you. I thought it was like a term. It used to be like they called people Nature Boy. Well, we found out that there was a Nat Cole song called Nature Boy. That's probably what it is. It was not about what you think.

It's not about being rich or fucking in the wood. No, no. Like, alligator shoe wearing like you got to kind of work backwards from that. None of that shit. That's not like, it's got really like beautiful lyrics. That's not. I have somehow been added to a group chat about a home interior designer. and I can't tell if it's elaborate spam

but there's like two other people on it it's like hi Liz, cans are in but there's an issue with the kitchen cans lights in front of the cabinets are not centered they are too close to the shiplap and casting those terrible shadows I don't know how I ended up on this list and I'm riding it out baby

anyway I'm sorry Stone Cold Steve Irwin and your third pick I am going to oh Gutenberg yeah that's a good one he was just so cool man I don't know anything about his personal life

Mahoney But shit he was cool I'll tell you what I know a few things about his personal life Because I went down a deep dive Of his Instagram not too long ago Really? Dude's got huge pecks

And he's always got him out Really? He's always shirtless Walking and talking Into Instagram live He was in curb right Wasn't it curb where he was showing off his pecks I think so he's got like a fucking weirdly

He's got like Chong Lee from Bloodsport He's got like yeah I gotta check these phone Tidys yeah That's pretty cool he's still cool he like ran he's got a specific body

this is like the third shirtless 50 year old man we've googled sorry right we're all of a certain age his face card's still you know what I always got me so like on the cover of three men and a baby can you look up the cover of three men and a baby

yep their names are not above their head and I can't remember which is which but there's my friend who my bully growing up he told me told me two things he told me Clyde, Clyde Drexler's nickname was Clyde the Clyde, not Clyde the glide, which I'm like, CJ, I think you're crazy. Dude, people, you don't understand growing up in a pre-internet world, like, your friend could

just be wrong for all of ninth grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's just a friend, you're like, Rick, you're wrong. Yeah, it's like, no, Rick believes this, and now we all have to go by it. Or, oh, two, I thought everybody with the same last name was related. Absolutely. Yeah, why wouldn't? And they knew famous people.

Me and Michael Jordan. But he told me, he would like, he was dying on the sale, and I think it was like Tom Selleck and Gutenberg that were switched. And I'm like, this is Tom Selleck. This isn't Steve Gutenberg. And he's like, well, his names above it. And I'm like, you're wrong. I don't know.

But no internet. I couldn't Google it. Yeah, that's like a complicated. That's where you get into SAG ruling of like who gets first billing. But then they don't have that photo done. That's so weird. You wanted to above your head for sure. Yeah.

It makes the most sense. But like the billing order is like all politics. Yeah. I just learned all that. And then at the end when it says with or whatever or feature or whatever. That's all. negotiated shit. Yeah, that's the last person being like, my name needs to be the last one in the credits and it's got to be like, and. Right, right. It's always like, well, they didn't

mention Gene Hackman yet. Ah, and. Can you imagine being that way? And introducing Gene Hackman. You got to say introducing again. Reintroducing. Reintroducing. And reminding you about some of you might only be meeting him for the first time. Gene Hackman. And blessing your day with. How come it's only and with and introduce him? There should be a bunch of them. Yeah. And oh shit. Featuring. Oh, shit. We got. Gene Hackman. Stop traffic.

Yes, it really is. Dot, dot, dot. Wendy the Snapple lady. I forgot about all that. She's on the only fans. No, she's on the only. Did you know? Another Google. She's popping the top. And he goes,

She's got facts tattooed under her teeth. Oh, the Echidna's the only people that lays egg. More water in a tomato than a watermelon. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah, Gutenberg, dude. What's your favorite Gutenberg picture?

Police Academy. Yeah. Oh, God. Do you know those were Bill Clinton's favorite movies, too? Like that specific that... Yes, that makes sense. Because they have a history of all the movies that were screened in the White House.

Really? So it's a fun rabbit hole to go down. JFK who saw the most movies because Jackie O was like a hipster. Yeah. And I think he also watched Marilyn Monroe movies in that White House. But he would also like... Just get ready.

But Clinton famously had like all of the police academies because he said Chelsea had never seen them many wanted to show them to their favorite movies. In the White House? What got I do with my daughter? I'm the president of the leader of the free world. I'm like, how do I connect to my daughter? Hold on, Chelsea.

What the fuck you just say? You've never seen one of them? Citizens on patrol. I understand if you haven't seen the recent ones, but you haven't seen the first one. Did you know that you had a decent bill on you? No, just nothing ventured, nothing gained. That was really good. Yeah, I was impressed. I'm here for it.

Those are great fucking movies. It's perfect. It's like the perfect 80s movies. Got a lady with huge boobs. It's all fun. Guy named Hightower. We'll be right back after a break. This episode of All Fantasy.

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I'm literally just trying to finish my list. David's just trying to finish his list. So I keep looking at my, there's not as many as I thought. You were caping for Hard Steve, so. I know, I was, I'm a need of you. You were caping for Hard Steve. David's out there like, listen,

hard Steve's a good guy. You guys are so mad at Hard Steve all this time. I heard David was caping for Hard Steve. I mean, he was looking for heroin. John's time for, right? John's time for Harry? Yeah, I did two. I did two. I did two. I did two.

I did two and three. Yeah, I did two and three. Now it's time for me to do my third. This is a lot of my favorites were Stevens. But fuck. Even though I'm going to have to go with, I didn't want to pick this one because it feels hack to choose. But I do feel limited enough.

I'm going to have to go with Steve Martin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. You would have got, I can't. It's weird that he made it this long, honestly. I can't believe I took Steve Nash before. Steve Martin. Steve Nash is great. He is.

But, yeah, still a silly move. Steve Martin, man. Born standing out. Three amigos. Fuck, the jerk. He's in other movies, too. Yeah. You know, it's weird?

And the third movie. You know what's weird that I just got told, my girlfriend told me this. I've done this several times. I guess if I go out and get shit-faced, I come home and I'm like, let's watch Father of the Bride. It's a great. It's a great movie movie. She's like, you've done that like five times.

It's very comforting. The house, it's a great movie house. It's in Pasadenaena. He owns a sneaker company? I said it. I was going to say it, though. I knew the answer. Knock it off, you two.

I'll shut this. I'll turn this podcast around. I don't like those kind of hands on me now. You know what I like is Bowfinger. Are we still doing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck. That's a good one.

The dentist and Little Shop of Horrors, he murders that role. Plains trains and automobiles. And while we're, if I have to be fully honest, I do believe my blue heaven is my favorite Steve. You know what I found out? I was obsessed with that when I was in. So, I don't know. I don't. I don't know if this is a theory or truth.

You ever see a leap of faith? I got on doing through the banjo music. I found out that my blue heaven. We're not in today. We're a comedian. We're right backwards from there. My Blue Heaven is supposed to be, what's his name from Goodfellas after Witsick? So Goodfellas is pre-wit-Sek.

Henry Hill? And my Blue Heaven is Henry Hill after Wittsack. I found out, now that could be a theory. And if it is, it's a great one. Or it's like an actual, like, you know, inspiration for the movie. I'm not sure which it is, but either way I like it. And if it's one of those, it's a great one. It's very fun theory.

I kind of want it to be a theory more than anything. Sirens. Peng Sirens, bro. They're going crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'd be like this for the rest of the picks?

No, what do I do? I'm wearing a shirt with a baby elephant on us. So don't come at me like that. I saw this baby elephant. I'm wearing a shirt that I got at the Wutan concert and I don't love. I got this shirt at the Oregon Zoo. I saw a baby elephant. I bought the shirt to commemorate.

I saw the baby elephant too. Yeah, I saw more recently. Pretty cool, dude. I know Final Jeopardy most of the time. I know what? I would say probably 80% of the time, all right? Knock it off, you two. Step to me.

Fucking Tunisia. This is how we flirt. Yeah. Yeah. Steve Martin, man. We're going to hard suck after this, dude. We're going to the karate bar and we're going to hard Steve in the bathroom. There would be some hard steves at the karate bar for sure.

Yeah, I think there's some hard steves going on. Steve Martin's great, but it's, you're right. It's like, what do we say about it? But what a wonderful pick. Time for my third pick. All right. I do not fiddle with my balls a lot. Can't leave without this.

Plan trains and automobiles. I want a fucking car with a fucking steering wheel and four fucking seats. How can I help you? Start by wiping that dumbass fucking smile off your fucking face. It's so good. I remember my mom telling me about that when I was a kid and she's like, I love this movie. I want you to see this movie, but I don't want you to watch it just yet. Like, I, you know, she really had a problem with that scene.

Can I get away with? We're doing Steve's only. It better be a Steve. It's a Steve. Rick Steves. No, because, come on. I have them right here. I don't think that's a Steve.

It's actually not because it is a Steve. It's a Steve's. No, because it's Rick Steves, his last name is. Steves. Oh, it is. But it's Steve's, not Steve. But we are, but to be fair, because I was ready to make this case myself, we are drafting steves we're going hard steve we are drafting steves we haven't drafted steves and

steves steves scuttonberg that sounds like a wreck out of fucking something in an italian restaurant attorneys general yeah yeah all have a plate of steves gutenberg isaac you say no i don't think so okay because we're going hard steves all right i didn't nothing you know i think quick aside where we talked about steve irwin what he did for uh nature Rick Steves could use a little credit as being the sort of like dorky Bourdain. Yeah, Dorky Bordane. But he's also a big-time pot smoker. PNW guy.

Yeah, PNW guy. Yeah, Washington. Big, big pot smoker. Yeah. And just big, like, like doing kind of his gentle pushback against, like, the fascism kind of stuff. He's, like, emotionally liberal. Yes.

Not political, but he's like, everyone's my brother. You just believes in, like, the world. He has an episode where he, like, goes. to Iran, right? And just shows like, there are wonderful people here, living here, like, and stuff like that. They're not their government. He has the political beliefs or the beliefs of someone who's traveled the world. The moment you travel the world, you really start to hate people less. Yeah. The second you leave your fucking hometown, truly, you second you sit next to someone in a completely different garb than you're familiar with, the second you go to a place

where everyone, you're the one who looks different, everything changes for you. Yeah, like Silver Lake. Iceman I don't understand your culture, Isaac But I appreciate it Yeah, Rick Steve's off His book's fucking ripped too They're awesome

They're like very good But I can't pick Rick Steve's So I am going to take Zahn Oh fuck That was you That was my door I really thought I'd get Zon.

I thought I could get Zon one, dude. Yeah. Steve Zon. Kind of good in everything he does. Always happy when he shows up. Yeah. Always happy. Like, oh, yeah. He is funny, too.

And he also settled into like a hot guy now. I didn't think that was going to happen. Yeah. Hot late guy is I'm banking my whole career. I need that. I really need that to happen. I'm really hoping that when I hit 50, I'm more attractive so much. I feel like.

Like by the time I'm 50, there's going to be a pill to take to get buff. Yeah, well, there is. There, it's not a pill yet. It's just a shot. Yeah. But that, that's straight up male privilege is that, like, we get to be, like, you get accidentally hot when you're 50. Like, all times people are like salt and pepper in your beard. I love that.

I'm like, oh, are you kidding? I, like, in the mirror. I think I should blow my head. Right. You like that? Because I see death. It is. You do get more.

I feel like people are getting more open to it. You saw Jamie Lee Curtis going nuts right now. Oh, she's got him out. got them out. Here's the thing. We all always knew. We always knew. Everybody's always new.

Trading places. Trading places. What are you talking about? Yeah, they've been documented. Shenzie fucking gooners, you losers? Shelf. Titties in comedies was like my foray into sex as a kid. Oh, 40s.

I'm watching a comedy, mom. It was really one of the highlights of the 80s and 90s. I mean, Police Academy. They were all over the place again. Just somebody. All right, let's have a girl run across the beach now for no reason. I feel like... I'm poons who just have titties for no reason.

I feel like it ended with, like, American Pie was the end of, like... Yeah, with her boobs in the movies. Yeah. Yeah, were there boobs in the hangover? There were balls and dick. I don't think there were any boobs. There were. Was Heather Graham's boo?

No. No. That's killing... That's killing me softly a movie nobody's ever seen. Yeah, I don't need it. The photo montage at the end, I think, as Zach's face on a breast. Yeah. There were boobs and wedding crashers at the beginning montage.

Oh, the great move montage in the beginning. Yeah. I remember being in the movies, like, this movie's going to be great. Yeah. I could close my eyes and, like, draw tits from, like, 12 different, like, comedy movies from my childhood. Yeah, that was. Like, a savant, like, yeah, okay. That was how you saw him because it wasn't, like, I couldn't, my mom wasn't letting me watch basic instinct.

Right, right. You know what I'm saying? But you can get away with throwing this, like, whatever. Sliver was another pretty buck one from that moment in time. Yes. That was, like, the poor man's basic instinct. You're like, but. You called it out earlier when it said, like, this movie.

features nudity would be like in the beginning of the HBO thing and then you would just be like stroking it for the whole movie until you see a guy's ass for like one minute and you're like no I needed titties yeah it's still one of my favorite bits I don't know if my wife loves it but if we if we see the end I'm like hell yeah and I'll just like over a high five she's usually pretty cool about it she's all right pretty cool yeah I think a lot of girls would be like fucking knock it off dude you're dumb married. Don't be dumb.

We're married. But Zon's been getting it on since 1990. Zon's been getting it on. He's been getting it on. He's been getting it on. I feel like briefly him and his wife opened up a upstate New York

like theater, like a small like and I'm like when you hear shit like that you're like this dude's living the fucking dream. Wouldn't that be the fucking dream? I could see it being like Christina Ritchie or something. Who's he married to? Steve Zon is married to. It can't be.

Oprah. It's nothing. Talk about heavy. Talk about big naturals. I'm Steve Zon Winfrey. Robin Peterman. Robin Peterman. Author.

Okay. Author. They're like a trendy or a hipstery upstate couple like fucking listen to records. Oh, yeah. Make their own coffee, like spend all morning making coffee. Just wearing expensive denim jackets. Oh, hell. Yeah.

They kind of smell bad. Feeling autumn on the wind. I need that life. need that. I need to be an old hot guy who lives upstate. We never feel autumn on the wind here. Almost never. In January. Up north, I do. Well, yeah, you live in Oregon. God's God's personal treasure check.

Sean? Oregon. That's where God keeps all his different assorted dildos. His prostheses. Bandilier. His skin-colored penis that you got on the planet. They're all up there, dude. That's what's in crater. Forget if that was on air or off air. I think it was on air. I hope so.

It was on air, dude. It gets confusing, though, because as we know, I can't speak to every race, but a lot of white guys' dicks, completely different color than the rest of their body. Yeah, yeah, really. That was a wild thing about porn where you're like... Hard to keep track on the bandelier of like, who's this one wrong to? Yeah, it really freaks me out. Yeah, it is nuts.

It seems like an unfortunate. Yeah, and it feels like, I hope, why didn't you make my whole body this light purple? Yeah. Lavender Why doesn't your whole body look like You've been underwater for a long time Looks like an axolotle You're swimming around the lake

Do you find my dick in a tide pool? What is this? Sean, have of your third and fourth picks Steve Carrell Okay, yeah Oh shit Yeah

Third pick Steve Carrell Solid Solid Solid You love Dan in real life Helping me out I didn't mind Dan in real life. That was an intellectual one, right?

He wasn't like slapsticky in that. I never saw that. He was a deadbeat stepdad, I think. No, no, no, no, no. What am I thinking of? That's not Dan in real life. You're the one with Ryan Gosling. That's not bad.

Crazy stupid. Yeah, you're well. No, that's not what I was thinking of, but that movie's amazing. A little bit sunshine? A little bit sunshine. Beautiful boy? No, he tried to kill himself in that.

No, I think he's like the way, way back or something. There's a movie where I think he's like, an aggressively mean dad. That's the way, way back about like the summer vacation. It's in referencing the full back seat. Sorry if it's not Steve Carrell that I'm thinking of. Anyway, well, yes. And speaking of dudes

who got hot as they got older. Like, Correll was always like kind of good looking. Yeah. But he really harnished it. The Silver Fox really hit for you. He really harnished it. The gray looks good on him. It was almost like Michael Fox he couldn't get or Michael Scott he couldn't get there quite. Right, right. He wasn't allowed to.

And then he just like, his glow up is. Once he Michael Scott, he's got fucking 25 million under his belt. He's like, I'm allowed to be fucking a hot man. Yeah, he opens it up. Yeah, yeah. He opens it up. I'll get on test. I'll get my fucking monocidil going. Yeah. He opened up the pit, dude. Yeah. I tried to love

someone. Correll is a fucking... 40-year-old virgin, too. I mean, just they're so funny. So funny. I mean, the American off, calling it the American office feels like a lie at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're like rebooting that. You know, they're spinning off that. They've made

mock of shows that ripped that off It's still the big It's still like one of the most washed shows It made mockumentary the standard for comedy Yeah, right It's like everyone's like well it's actually easier You know We just have Quinta looking camera

If they can look at the camera And that's not an error Then great makes our job a lot easier Also for what it's worth Every single person I know That's ever worked on the office Talks about Corel is like a fucking legend Like not only is absolutely funny

But like no questions asked about having to be in the background of your shot. No questions asked about riffing with you in your thing. He's just an absolute fucking pro. Those are things that people don't think about that there are actors who will be like, well, no, I'm not going to be in those shots. I don't need to be in that

shot. I'm leaving. What am I filing papers for if they're just talking about Krasinski? And the big shit about the office is because they do all those long shots. It's like, yes, no, Ellie Kemper, you have to stay at this computer for this whole day that you don't even talk. But you're just in the background of this shot, so you have to be...

I don't know, I wouldn't give a shot. I'd be like, hell yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what we call an easy day. You're like two years in. No, no, you get over that shit back. You get over that shit fast. In year three, you're like, you really need me at the fucking computer.

I can be dropping heat in my trailing. No, Sean would be in there freestyling. Yeah. Bars. I'm going crazy. I don't do the ABCs in the background time. The show's that hit, I got Young Metro in there. Young Metro booming

Why are we doing any of this If it's not to wrap Your writer just keeps going up and up Every year As you keep adding people To your hip-hop entourage I'm like Yeah, he needs alchemists

For the year Fondworth Bentley I swear to God I saw Sean In Scott Storch in a Jersey Mike I don't know Shoes off Yeah

How you got to think, man Fourth pick Steve Kurt bro. Okay. Oh, being punched by Michael Jordan. Tell us why you like Kerr. He was a bull.

He's a dope coach. Michael Jordan punched him. Steve's are getting thin. Yeah, there you got. Yeah, that's the truth. We're running out of Steve's. I had one other one that I think I'll be able to get. Kerr.

That I thought, would one of you, you could say, was Kerr going to be out there? No. No. Not once I got Nash. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've always like Steve Kerr's, he's fine.

He's fine of the Bulls. That was when I was into basketball. So I knew him from that. Real good coach, seems like a good guy. His dad was a professor at the American University in Lebanon. In Lebanon, I was going to say, and was murdered. Murdered. I know.

That's fucking crazy. I only, why do I know, I don't know a lot about sports. Was that in that doc? Why do we all know that? It must have been, the last dance. It had to be. Because I don't know shit about sports. So whenever I know something about sports, I'm like, what movie is this?

Four idiot dudes, we're talking about Dix for 45 minutes. How do we know that smart thing about Steve? Which Nazi didn't know that that was that? the answer. And that's what got him shot. By one of the platoon members. In glorious bathroom. Named the DiMaggio brothers.

Yeah. All right, Kerr. Time for my pick. All right. I'm going jobs, dude. Ugh. Not, you know, maybe not the best guy, but did bring us many of apples. You want to talk about something happened in our lifetime.

Jobs, dude. That's crazy. what happened with computers. Right. Also the idea like, yeah, he sucks, but if we're ranking, if we're drafting Steve. Yeah. Yeah, you got a, he's a fucking big.

And inherently, he's got a bummer name. So, you know, Steve's. Yeah, Steve. Oh, yeah. Steve works, dude. And I got Zahn already to take care of vibes. My vibes have a pretty high floor right now. I need someone on the business.

I need someone on the business end of things. I mean, like, just the things he brought us, like that computer, the iPhone, you know, the, The iconic style All that stuff How a guy should dress Jobs, dude Steve Jobs

Also a good Fastbender performance Yeah Fastbender knows what time it is He doesn't You don't get a lot of misses With Fastbender Who was the other one?

Seth Rogan Oh, Oh, Ashton Cutcher Coucher was that Was that movie called Jobs? Swing and a Miss Playboy It was called Steve Jobs One of them was called Jobs

One was called Steve Jobs The Danny Boyle one is Jobs Yeah That's the one with Fastbender Coucher just keep not acting man he's like yeah he except for sticking up for Danny Masterson I think he was like a good dude

wasn't he he's like a trillionaire from being like an angel investor and stuff for me oh is that what it was he's like a GoPro well he was a he was a shark for an episode too on Shark Tank that's how you know he's got a little bit of cash laying around I've been misinformed well there's also this there's also that doesn't mean he's a bad guy but there's that crazy Ashen Coucher story that and I'm out over my ski

on this reference. No, you said earlier. This is a fact. You just wanted to hide behind. He went to go pick up a girl for a date and she had been murdered. Oh, this is real. Yeah, I heard this too. And he saw her and didn't report it right away and like, you know, protected himself first.

And there's like, it's a little dicey as to what's exactly going on there. I didn't hear that. We've heard that. That's what we've heard. Yeah. That's what we've heard. Cutch don't kill me. We don't know that that's a fact.

I wish I could throw out some more facts to stall Like as I rapidly Google Steve I'm just over here getting bummed out What's that? No he his girlfriend at the time Was murdered by a serial killer Who was who has since been sentenced to death Whoa

That's what the coach You get the horns Yeah Stayed Oh man that wasn't funny Well What are we supposed to do Well you didn't see how she was killed

It actually is pretty funny when you see it. It was a Pratt fall. He was the Pratt Fall murderer. It's kind of a Chevy Chase vibe. This is wild. He would set up a breakaway table and push you through it. So, Picardy, it's been a while. Oh, yeah, you're drinking rum tonight.

A little bit of what's on? He's a rum guy. Don't do, no, don't, don't, don't, don't play. You're drinking rum tonight, dude. Throw it on you and light a match. You keep talking to me like that. See what happens. It's not 151.

Yeah, throw it on you and start freestyling. The real, drop real heat on this. It's getting hot in here, no Nellie. You need to change your pants. You're smelly. Oh, man. I met Nellie on the set of Wild and Out, and I had a cool sentence. I haven't heard somebody say Wild and Out.

I know. Wild and Wild. Trust me, I wish I had a handful more credits. You really pronounced the D, the apostrophe, and the end. I think as the resident one white guy in my season, I think I had to say it. I always liked the show. I was always interested. I thought it was,

fun. You didn't have a good time? I had an absolute great time on that show. It was union, which not, because Nick Cannon fought for it to be union. And I got health insurance because of fucking wild and out residuals in the pandemic when shit hit the fan. So I'm always going to have respect for him. I got to smoke a blunt with Erica

Badoo. All this really fucking cool. Do she seem like a witch for real? Yes, dude. I fucking knew it. I felt like it was like a witch of a culture I don't know yet. Yeah. A lot of people have said that She might be weird. Yeah, she was such good vibes.

But also, Nellie was on, and it was a game called Plead the Fifth, where you had to ask a question that would... I was it spelled. Oh, I said it right. Is there another option to be involved? It was spelled FIF. Just to be honest, that's the way DJ D. Rec pronounce it. And you were supposed to get the person to embarrass them to plead the fifth,

to say they won't answer the question. So I said to, and I'm going to quote my own joke. First of all, I came out and said, I'm glad to see the cut on your face healed. And I got a little bit of a pop. You got to say that to Nellie. I got to say that to Nellie. And then I said, when did you think you sold out more when you did a duet with Lance Bass or with the Honeynut Cheerios B?

And the crowd. He laughed. He did not laugh. Oh, no. He went fully like defensive. Like, oh, the bullies being bullied. And he's like, where'd you get that fucking haircut and just started going into like fat white guy shit that didn't read it all? And then after it was just like, yeah.

you are one funny motherfucker He said that to you He realized how bad he must have looked Like the whole thing It was like I gotta like get some traction back That's true Because I've always loved Nellie He always seems like one of those guys

You could do anything I think he's come around Because he was all Wasn't he in like the longest yard remake or something? Yeah He used to fuck people up at Rock and Jock Oh yeah He's a fucking star

He was a great baseball player He could have been amazing baseball player Yeah he was like He's like one of those guys Who could just do it all Why they haven't brought back Rock and Jock? and jock is so far beyond me.

I don't know. It is such a good fun idea. I'm laughing because you're so earnest. It's funny. The players are now like $50 to $70 million investments. And if they bust an Achilles, throwing a football from a bark-a-lander with wheels on it. Focus more on the rock and less on the jock.

All right. So nobody wants to get crossed up by Queen Latifah again. Have you seen that clip? I can name two guys on this couch you want to get crossed up by Queen. Let's go. That's gross. Yeah, I think I'd like to be equalized. Bringing down the house.

You're not T-I-T-I-T-T-Y. You're not a bitch. That wasn't as good. Man. Gabriel, it's your fourth pick? I'm fucking out in the weeds here, brother. Me too. It's bad.

It's bad now. I'm going to have to go with, due to my love, of the trip movie series. Oh, yes, dude. I like Alan Partridge, too, but I'm more of a diehard trip guy. I'm going to go with Steve Coogan. Yeah, I'm a big trip guy.

Those movies are perfect. The Michael Kane, man. It just brought that to the surface. And you don't do the broken voice. I didn't do it's broken voice. You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. It's a bit more up here, isn't it? Yeah, when I made a travel show with my buddy Adam Pally.

And we were fully inspired by that show to be like, by those movies be like we can go show the restaurants but we don't have to show closeups to the food we can just do bits and make it about the travel element for real because that that series that's so I'm so jealous of like British people

with that fact that they could even that gets made you know what I mean and they yeah it's just so fun and I never really knew was it was it scripted or was it just them going to try and food and really just messing around I think they had like probably an outline

for like narrative beats but then they were like when we sit down here eventually mention that like you're having issues with at home or whatever but then just going on they really were just trying food in places or like those were sets like that i mean i think they were real locations i think they were going to real restaurants i'm going to watch one of them tonight they're all good yeah they're all good the last one's in spain yeah yeah yeah greece italy spain steve kugan definitely should have picked before kirk now that i hear you say yeah sorry that was crazy i mean coached wars several

That was a deep, you know, I was just happy to think of one at that point. I got to fucking land this. Oh, my kerpologies. All kerpologies. David, time for your fourth and then your final pick. We'll do a lightning round. Hot in, Kurt in.

Do you think he ever did that? So hot and cur. So hot and cur, yeah. And then, like, Seth Curry took it. Yeah. Oh, oh. Steve. Seth?

Seth? Stephon? No. Hey, Steph, you don't want to tear your ACL later, do you? Then I'd stop saying that. Career enthusiasm? Sure. I said Kerr walking.

Okay. Can I take... Probably not. Finn Urkel. Yeah. I would say yeah. I think that's amazing and that should have gone soon. He was huge.

Fuck, dude. He was huge. God, I didn't think about it. I tried all day to. think of fictional steves i cannot he was a robot he's got an aunt and al tuna i didn't know that didn't he that's one of his jokes

like didn't he have a cousin an al tuner or an aunt and al tunna maybe he was uh dating that really hot dead lady hold on he got he would uh he had a stephan orkel of course his alternate he also had uh he drank bruce juice and learned karate in one episode that was tying into a lot of previous conversations i remember that tgif because i was hyped for it that whole week. I remember that week where they were doing the promos where they're like, Friday night, Steve

turns into Bruce Lee. And I was like, oh my God, this is going to be the best day of my life. And I remember when he was Bruce Lee because he's like doing Bruce Lee shit. And at one point, he picks up some nuts off the table and he goes, cashews, my favorite. I was like, this guy's a genius. He was. Jaliel. Jal to do anything. He had an aunt Una who lived in Al-Tuna. And Una Urkel Yeah, Una Urkel Unah Erkel And his sister

Or his cousin Myrtle Urkel Myrtle Urkel And Stifan Rakel Who you don't get I hated that Too I forgot I feel like

I hate what that means Yeah It was like the only way He could get Laura is And then Laura This jerk What a what an asshole Was like yeah

Just stay Stefan forever And we can get married Terrible lesson Get out of you Terrible lesson Get out of you. You know it came directly from Joliel White himself. That's what I was about to say.

I feel like the behind the scenes is Joliel White being like, I'm getting fucking roasted at these Hollywood parties. Yo, you got to let me get some pussy. They need to know. They need to know that I got it in. God to know I'm hot. Yeah. I talk to my friend Dustin Diamond.

I see what's happening to him. Yeah, I can't walk down that path. Don't screech me. Don't screech me. Teach me. Hammer don't screech me. Don't screech me, teach me. If they had had a machine that he could have gone into and been scratched.

Yeah. he might be still with us. I don't know if there was a scratch and dust and diamond the way there was a Stefan. When there was a Stefan on Kelly. You don't think he. Scratch.

Scratch sounds like fuck too though. He's just a different kind of. It's just a tweaker. He's like an active method that goes to Bayside. Enlightening round for the final for the final picks.

Your fifth pick. Wasniak. Was did? Oh, man. All right. We got both. Oh, man. But the hitter.

off the board. Was Waz your go-to? No, I had I had one fictitious Steve that I was sitting on, not knowing I was going to blow it out in the fifth round. Glad you broke this barrier with Steve Erkel. I'm going to go with Steve Zizu. Oh, yeah.

He was on the list that I was just looking at. I'm not even going to say my list like that. I'm not going to play you guys out. I'm going to go with the original host of the Tonight Show, Steve Allen. Ooh, okay. I like to hear that.

I like to hear that. Not a lot of legendary athletes named Steve, right? Well, there's a bit of... I got one on my team. Steve Young. Steve Francis, Steve Young. Yeah, yeah. Those are the steves I'm thinking.

I ain't saying to pick it, but Steve Largent was another one. Steve Atwater. Steve Atwater. Steve Young, Steve, wouldn't they... The Seahawks punter? No, the receiver. He's a receiver. He's a receiver.

He's his name. I thought Largent had a different first name. Steve Largent. Oh. Now you're so, man. Can we redo the, from the beginning? Yeah, I got to pick Largen's first name. I'm going to save you for the white receiver draft.

Welcome. The white. Please have me back. Please have me back for the under 100 yards. The white receiver dress. We're trying to grow the show. I got Ed McCaffrey. We'd open up to a white.

Ed McCaffrey would be my number one. Yes, my number one for sure. Don Bibi. You know, just a big. Oh, there's some fucking good ones. Yeah. Say them. Huh?

Say them. I'm already out. Does Julian Edelman count? Julian Edelman? You've got a lot of you sleep. Yeah, yeah. The guy. Oh, man, if my dad was still alive, he'd be able to rattle off 10 of the toughest white football players.

Okay. He seemed to always know all those guys' names. But we can't do white cornerbacks, though. That's not really. That's a one person draft. I don't think so. Oh, man, I'm blanking on white racters. I still got to go.

He's the guy who's on the Rams. Cooper Cuff. Oh, Cooper Cup. I remember him of Hard Knocks a few years ago. Cooper Cup. Cooper Cup. Hard Knox is good, by the way, the Buffalo one. Oh, yeah, I'm two episodes in.

I'm enjoying it thoroughly. Hard Knox is the best. It makes you love bad teams. I think the show has fallen off in the last three years because they stopped following the players that were, you were wondering if they were getting cut or not. Because that used to be the dream for me because then I would be watching week 12

and I'd be like, oh, Green Bay has the guy from who's the tight end of the, oh, fuck, that's all. But now I don't, I used to love the drama following these like 21 year olds like it's the most exciting part yeah and that and i'm i love i love the bills they're one of my other favorite team so it's fun to watch them the show is so well made such interesting people so i always love it but it used to i think used to be stronger when it really followed the young kids yes i think so too yeah yeah i just found out josh allen's married to haley steinfeld and i'm like where they're going to get her on this show because that would be tight they're trying i bet you

Well, do you remember last year when they... What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She was on with her husband. Remember last year when they brought out, what's his name, Sabretooth, who does the voiceover for it all? Leaves Shriver. They bring Leaves Shriver out and, like, all these, like, 21-year-old kids who have no idea of weeks. And they're like, he's the voice. They're like, oh, sick, well.

You're the voice of God. I remember a lot of people being like... He does. God's here. He does crush that shit, though. Yes, he's the best. See, Bosch? What's his show? He had that show where he was... Was he Bosch the show?

He was in Glendale. He was... Oh, Ray Donovan. Ray Donovan. I don't know the difference between those two shows. Ray Donovan's good. There's not much difference. No. But in Bosch, his first name is Aronimus. No, it's not. Is it really? Aronimus Bosch? Yep, like the famous painting.

He's in the screen movies. He's Cottonweary. We're not talking about that. Steve Olson. He's an old pro skateboarder. Skated for shorties back in the day. Who is your fifth, Steve? Steve Allen. Okay, tonight show. And then yours is?

I'm doing Steve Olson from Shorties. If you ever, if you were skating in like the late 90s, early 2000s, mid-90s to early 2000, Steve Olson, his dad is also named Steve Olson, who's another famous skateboarder from like the 70s. But I'm taking the one from the 90s who's on foundation and Shorties. And yeah, I'm just trying to work a skateboarder in there. I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. And I just thought of Steve Olson. Oh, hell yeah. Ill dude.

Had a babe. That's considered ill communication. what I can Picardy communication That's right out of the rope diaries That's what he's freestyling him do Preestyle of that's a white guy rapper name for sure

Ill communication It's a Beasty Boys album Yeah it's a Beasty Boys cover band Yeah is it? No I mean it sounds like the right thing It's a Beasy Boys album for sure It is an album for sure There's an album called it

I didn't even know Licensed to Ill and Ill Communications It's the one where they're like the news Holden the Fast Food Drive Through Yeah At Watervilleville full of Beastie Boys' lore. Really?

Yeah, we're in the neighborhood I live in. That's where they started? Studio there. No, they're from New York. Oh, yeah. Sure they are. Yeah, yeah. Jew York.

No, sleep till the two. This doesn't hit, really. Sleep to Glendale. That's one of those things where I'm like, why did I just say that? No, they're not from Atwater Village. Dickhead. That's where Paul's.

boutiques. Right there on Hyperion. That does it. Isaac, do you have a Steve? The billionaire owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, Steve Balmer. Oh, there you go. A lot of tech steves. A lot of tech steves.

A lot of tech steves. I was also going to take the only Asian Steve that's famous, Steve Aoki. That was going to beat my lap before I was Steve Olson. I think his dad's cooler. The Benihana guy. His dad is a Benihana guy? This is the first time hearing of this lore. Isn't he also like some kind of like daredevil, his dad?

Like he got to do like a lot of weird shit. Well, his dad is the guy in Wolf of Wall Street. Right. It is really him. Oh, really? He got caught up in those Jordan Belfort and the penny. Yeah, his dad, right. His dad's a wild guy.

Aoki is a wild name. I feel like I'd be a little bucker if my name was Sean Aoki. Dude, Rocky Aoki? His name was Rocky Aoki. Okay, okay. Hold on. Japanese born American. Shut the.

Get your little dick beater out of my face A Japanese American restaurant tour Professional offshore power boat racer And amateur wrestler Oh my dog, Rocky's nuts Wow Men used to have to be Renaissance men Yes

You used to have to be an off Wait who's an onshore power boat racer Yeah Hold on to watch Are this rivers and lakes And he's in ocean Technically me I have some RC boats Yeah he'll tell you

to stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to. A lot of people don't know that was inspired by Rocky Aoki. Hold on. In August, 1973, Yoki launched Genesis, a soft core pornographic men's magazine with two centerfolds each issue.

My man. Two centerfold. Imagine that's the fucking brain. That's cocaine thinking. You know what would be killer? No, no, no, no. No, no. He said, what if we have two? One blows off when you're accidentally opening You need a backup on the boat I heard he was out offshore power boat racing

The engine broke down He was like well we're gonna die out here And he said no He unfolded both centerfold Use them as a sail And he brought them safely to shore And that's where the song comes from My angel is to centerfold

Andy was super hungry He cooked some shrimp in front of everybody On the hot engine And that's where Benny Hanuk And someone's like give me one He goes well I can't pass it to you How about Now, I know we all probably felt this to be true, even though we didn't know factually.

Two things. He died at the age of 69. Of course, he started making money. One of his first jobs in America was working seven days a week in an ice cream truck in Harlem. Hell yeah. Rocky Aoki. That's how you get into power boating. Harlem ice cream truck, man.

I would buy a chaco taco from a guy named Rocky in Harlem. Absolutely. Fuck yeah The Rocco chaco Are Chaco Tocco? Yeah A Rocco Chaco Taco Taco

Oh yeah He started braiding on the show Hold on He just makes these at home Rocky's Chucky Taki He funded and crude The Double Eagle V

The first balloon To successfully Cross the Pacific Ocean Yes This is what I'm saying We gotta draft Rocky Aoki Just inject like hair

So that's four guys Five each That's 20 total About 20 yeah Four times five A big per day A couple It only took 84 hours.

This is what I'm talking about. Actors, millionaires, billionaires. Let's see some fucking stunts besides dating a 26-year-old or getting, putting your wife in the Bond movies because you own Amazon. No, you're so right. You're so right. You're so right. Do crazy shit with your money.

Do philanthropical stuff. Do dumb stunts. Fund something cool. Because why do you have a billionaire? Otherwise, why do you have a billion dollars to hang out with stand-up comedians? That's fucking crazy. You got hepatitis from a blood transfusion after a 1979 speedboat crash under the Golden Gate Bridge.

Yeah, that's how you... I got hepatitis under the Golden Gate Bridge. Speedboat accident. Yeah, that was speedboat. Yeah, me too, bro. The streets of Philadelphia. Yeah, what was his name? What sounds...

What's no one going to research? He's the guy named Speedboat who hung under Irvin Speedboat Johnson. One of his lesser-known nicknames. Well, that's what they knew him as under the bridge. You ever go to Speedboat Johnson movie theater? He'll get you in and out of there like a robbery,

speedboat, man. He knows what time it is. You have another Rocky Oak Effect? Well, no, there were rumors that he was in the 1960 Summer Olympics representing Japan but that's not true but you're a white dude that's some racist shit yeah for sure

for sure no be the type of guy that it's almost believable you were in the Olympics in the 1960 because it wouldn't be crazy right it wouldn't be crazy to hear that so like live a life where people go I think he was also in the Olympics

is that true yeah because like Dolph Lungren was like one of those guys like he fucking like low key his life is insane you're like you could just keep throwing shit on there like and it's just such a in a fucking amazing level. It really is not that I wouldn't believe

about someone like Dolph Lunger and I'd be like, of course. Yeah, who's making that up? He didn't hold the U.S. flyweight wrestling title on 62, 63, and 64. Rocky did? Rocky Aoki. Jesus.

I need a biopic. I need a Rocky Eoki. Yeah, we got to know what that kid. His daughter was in one of the Fast and the Furious's. Yeah. What? Michelle Rodriguez. Devin Aoki.

That would be awesome. That is so funny. I just, anytime Fast and Furious comes up, I'm obsessed with the idea that there's a word. where they go to this big race and it's called race wars it's so awesome it's the most diverse movie that exists but they do go

to race wars frequently did we meet it no one ever even brought it up but like isn't it weird it's called race wars and there's like a lot of different races I brought it up so much that I started my own race war yeah we do race wars at high planes every year where we all race each other

you have a hat that says race wars on it I do it says race wars 2021 Wait, Devin Aoki in Too Fast, Too Furious. Yeah. Holy shit. She's kind of, she's very in it too. She's really fucking.

I'm about to tell Isaac, she's the Asian woman. I'm so obvious. She plays the Asian woman. Yeah, I know. Oh, thanks. Super helpful, man. His porno man ran for 40 years. 40 years of a poro?

Genesis. Imagine your Genesis runs longer than the Sega system. Yeah. That's crazy. More popular than the Bible. How many poro mags got 40 years? 40-year porno mag good. It's like that and black tail.

Those are the only two. It's big ones. Yeah. Playboy, well, playboy, penthouse probably. That's not porno. Swank. Club International. Hustler's a porno mag, right?

Yeah. Porno. Hustler's a porno man. Oh. Hey, dad, me and my friends are having a sleepover. Can you look this up online or something? Hey, wake up. Hustler's a porno mag, right?

You know we're Cherokee, right? Hey, we're in big porno bags for your generation. You're watching Ashina. Wake up. You know we're Cherokee, right? You went to bed thinking you were pretty much Irish. Turns out you're like 80% Cherokee or Lakota. I'm different drunk tonight.

I drink tequila tonight. So you're about 60% of Picardy. I think it's a tribe. If I drink whiskey, you're going to be Shoshone. So watch your bag. I don't understand that reference. It's another tribe. To recap, David, you went first.

You took Stone Cold Austin, Irwin, Gutenberg, Urkel, and Wozniak. Gabrith, you took Bishemi, McQueen, Martin Coogan, Zissau. I took Harvey Nash, Zon, Jobs, Allen. Sean, you took Winwood, Perry, Karel, Kerr, and Olson. That's pretty tight. Good picks all around. That's good steves. We didn't leave a lot of steves on the bones.

There's not a lot of steves on the bone. There's nothing left, man. Aoki's the big loss. Steve Rogers, Captain America. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I don't like him, though. I would have picked that.

Steve Rogers, also just a wimpy little twink from New York. Yeah. Depending on where he catches. Is he from New York? Yeah, he's a Brooklyn guy, right? Oh, that's right. Yeah, I did know that. No, he's from Outwater Village.

Yeah, that's where Paul's boutique is. No, sleep till Thanos's house. House. Welcome to Thanos's house. Whoops, hefty after after. When they go to retired. They go to retired Thanos's cabin He cut his head off

And you're like He lives in a cabin He killed a third of the universe And he lives in a cabin Yeah, I just wanted some peace man Now you finally kick back Finish my novel What he's doing

You mentioned Steve Miller earlier So Steve Miller there's one of them Yeah the titular Steve Miller Yeah Another ton of other steves We left out there dude I think we scraped it Yeah we did

I think we scraped the whole thing If you have If we left any steves on the board Let us know Hit us up at all fantasy podcast Atgmail.com Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon where you can get auction drafts,

mailbag episodes, this or that episodes, live episodes, all of that stuff. Shout to everyone on the AFE Shaslackety. Shout to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to our wonderful producer, Steve. Steve. What's Steve? What's Steve, dude?

No, pick a last name. Pick a last name with all the stees are thrown around. Try not to say. What Steve is he? Lee. This is Steve Lee. Steve K. Lee. Or Isaac K. Steve, whichever way you want to play.

There you go. Isaac K. Steve. Isaac, Steve, the Steve man. Shout to say Sue Carmel. Shot to Frankie Ocean. Shat to Sid the dude. Shot to Hajie Beats. And more important than all of that.

Tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy, Steve. Shacuclac. That was a hate gum podcast. Thank you.