All Fantasy Everything - Steves (w/ Jon Gabrus)
Episode Date: October 2, 2025Only Steves — no Stevens, Stephens, Stefans, or Stevies allowed.Guest:Jon Gabrus (@gabrus)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mai...lbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a headgum podcast.
from the world of pop culture.
On this episode, we're drafting steves.
Get your fucking hand out of the way.
I'll get it today.
I'll tickle your dick off.
It's comedian, actor, podcaster.
I took it off myself.
I'm gay from...
Hi, we're just four grown men in hats.
Just four hat guys.
We're having hat conversations.
We all have heads of hair under here, too.
We all do, yeah, yeah.
Which is not something like guys our age are supposed to have.
No, we're really mocking a...
Big group of our followers
Yeah
Bald podcast listeners
Which is
Dude I'm just like you
When I'm right
Bro, we're a little different
We're not 100% similar
I'm gonna meet up with a bunch of other
Bald podcast listeners
You would love them
Trust me they're just like you
We're all super funny
That they read drunken loud
Do you ever
Bald dudes is one group of guys who
You're like
I kind of get why you're so mad about it
I try to talk to bald dudes
You gotta try carefully with this conversation
I'm just saying
You ever talk to ball dudes
And they're like
You know there's no bald dudes
On sitcoms or whatever
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Oh I see what you're saying
Why they're mad about their treatment
In society
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Ball dudes are not happy about it
There's not a lot of positive
Outside of your Jason Stathams
And you ought to be jacked and no karate
And you're the NBA
There's not a lot of positive bald representation
For white guys
Yeah that's just about to say
We're killing it
Alex Caruso
Delroy Lindo
Delroy Lindo
Two great Italian men
Eyes closed
You tell me a man's name
Isle Lindo
I think he's
I think he's in Mosaisley
Cantina
I don't know where else
to put him
He's doing the Kessel run
In 8 parsecs
How long you think it would take you
To casually work in
Delroy Lindo to a conversation
With a stranger
And they thought you weren't kidding
You know what I mean
You can't just walk him
And be like
You ever heard a Delroy Lindo
Like you got to
It's got to work its way in there
hotel in the marina?
You're like, no, it's a fucking legendary actor.
It's actually a Crob Maga move.
He's got him in the Delroy Lindo.
This doesn't look good for either fighter at this point.
My grandmother started, you know, the dementia was getting pretty bad.
So we actually put her up in Delroy Lindo, and it's been beautiful, yeah.
It's a beautiful spot down.
Really, Delroy in my Lindo's with these prices over here.
So when does the tequila cost $15?
Hola, your story, Delroy Lindo.
He means he's from
Ray Linda.
Delroy, Delroy, Nadar.
And two Lindo.
I'mita Racheo, Delroy Lindo.
Yeah, me is Giera.
Ving Rames.
To my right is Delroy Lindo.
To my left is Ving Rames?
That's a party.
That'll get you in a club.
And I'm a white guy with hair.
Yeah.
You're so you in Guero, Campelo.
they've met though right
Delroy and Ving
Were we not just talking about this like
Two days ago? Unless it's a designated survivor situation
They're not allowed to be in the same place
In the same place of the same time
Yeah
Do you think like if like Delroy Little is walking onto a plane
I'm sorry sir Ving Rames is on this plane
He's like I get it
We can't do another American pie
Yeah
I'll see when I see a Ving
They let me on
You guys listen to the new Don McLean song
Chocolate Pie
Yeah
About three famous
Black celebrities who died
It's Ving Rames, Del Rey Lindo, and
Ronnie Coleman.
Yeah, buddy.
Oh, man.
I made a joke and then I laughed at it
before I got to say it.
I was going to say, chocolate pie.
I got a three-day pass to that
when I got a day pass to that.
That's a callback.
That wasn't on air.
They didn't even know we were doing that.
Fuck.
Chocolate pie.
Chocolate pie.
Oh, sorry.
and my phone was playing it.
I'd, yeah, sorry.
You see those pictures of Ronne Coleman
wearing his suits that he had tailored for him
when he was buff?
That's a bummer.
That's a bummer.
Yeah, he's little now.
His body makes me feel bad.
Yeah, well, not in the way that it would have
20 years ago.
No, he's got to, he'll get you both ways.
Yeah, you know, that's what happens
when you're a fucking cop.
Yeah.
Up top.
Your legs will atrophy fucking hard if you're a cop.
Who fucking hack squats
900 pounds for reps?
I'll bring a gun wherever I want, snitch.
There are kids who make millions of dollars
opening up Legos online.
Fucking Ronnie Coleman had to keep his cop job.
He was the best bodybuilder in the world.
And he had to have a day job.
Arnold and Franco Colombo did construction
for like 12 years
while they were on the top of their game
winning bodybuilding.
And he looked like a stripper cop.
Did you ever see him in the cop?
It for sure looks like he's,
Because that's just what pants look like on him.
There's not like pants that fit.
He would have caught, he would have caught John Connor.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
He would have fucking picked the motorcycle.
He would have went head to head with the T-800.
John Connor would have came to him.
He's just sitting in the mall.
Sorry, buddy.
He's nothing but a peanut.
Excuse me, officer.
You look dope as hell.
Can you teach me how to be like you?
I'm not trying to be like you.
I mean, in Carmel, my house.
Sean George.
Jesus.
I thought you were going to punch a hole in my tummy.
Did you?
Did you see me go down?
I did see you go down.
The training of the dark arts, my friend.
Defensive maneuver.
Sean Cuando.
What happens when you listen to ICP a bunch when you're in middle school?
Whoop.
And then you whoop.
And then you whoop.
And then you whoop.
And then they enter the dark carnival.
Is that what?
I bet if you taught an ICP-based taekwondo class, people would take it.
Clownquando?
Clown-Quandojo.
I liked her on chocolate pie.
Clownquandojo was second.
team all picked 12 for Arizona State last year.
I don't know if you guys.
I don't want jugglers to know karate.
You only get one of those skills.
You can be a juggalo or you can know karate.
Yeah, jugglers learning karate is like having all those weight benches in the prison.
Yeah.
Are we doing the wrong?
Are we teaching the wrong thing?
Should these be yoga mats?
Maybe.
Yeah, right.
I would venture to say that there are probably a lot of juggalo's, you know, karate.
Oh, yeah.
How many people do you would, how many people know karate confidently?
I learned Ta-Wondo and got into ICP.
So it's a natural progression for me.
Where are we putting the karate bar?
This is a different idea.
I think we should open a karate bar.
Oh my gosh.
We're going to open a place called the Dojo.
I just padded grounds and just guys get drunk and like grapple and shit.
You can just fight.
You can break bricks from money.
You can fight anybody in there.
It's fair game.
It's legal.
If you're drunk in a dojo, you can, you can spar.
They have styrofoam nunchucks and stuff all over the place.
This sucks.
I fucking played D&D and did Taekwondo in 1994 and was beat relentlessly for it by
everyone.
Now the coolest shit in the world is karate and D&D.
And I'm a podcaster and a D&D player.
And I'm a fucking, and I'm broke.
What the fuck?
They're like Joe Man Ginello's playing D&D with one.
Hold on, Sophia Vergara.
I'll be right there.
I'm playing D&D with my boys.
Do you think she knows what D&D is?
I think she knows what D&D is for sure
She knows what double D's are
Take the high five out
I can't believe we did that
Four hot guys
Take the high five out
Remember to take testosterone
Cut the high five into later
When I do a worse joke
Say something positive
About how God's a woman
And then put it back in
God's a fucking woman
With big natural
Big jugs
God's playing D&D up there
If God was a woman
God would have big
Fat Nettys, yeah, yeah.
Do you think so?
Yeah.
Or small natural.
She just would not get surgery.
No, absolutely not.
If she did, she'd have the best in the business.
I can't tithe to you if you got a BBO.
Although if we're all created in God's image and some people will maybe create it in God's image.
And maybe that the question is, if there are people with BBLs and breast implants and they too are created in God's image, then does God have a set of naturals and a set of fakes?
She's got four.
Four, yeah.
God doesn't have all that.
Like a pregnant gift.
Yeah.
Total recall God.
Does God just have everything that all of us have if we are created?
Isaac, you are in the church.
Yeah, but my theology schooling does not extend as far as.
You're talking about God's jugs?
I think God has a bandalier of every color dick.
Like a Chewbacca thing.
I just got every race.
Every race of dickcaster.
Would God use a Jewish dick?
Would a Christian God use a Jewish dick or a Muslim?
dick. I think that God does have that dick option. Yeah. I think God's uncut. I think Jesus is
circumcest. Jesus is circumcest. Do you know manny faces from Master of the Universe? He-Man? I think he's
got that with dicks. And I think you can switch. I remember. Which dick flops out. I remember
Manny faces. Making the other he-man actually punch him in the face so it would turn. I wouldn't do it
if that wasn't happen. I'd be like, you got to actually. What would you do if he found out God was real,
but his penis is smaller than yours? A loving god.
A fair God.
Thanks.
That's a New Testament God for sure.
Because Old Testament God is a huge dick.
And he lets you know about it.
I think that's a Gnostic God.
That's the gospel of Thomas God.
Right.
Playing him Green Day.
Yeah, like doubting Thomas.
Like, yeah, right.
Let me see your dick.
No way, it's small.
Yeah.
And you today will betray me three times, Peter.
Three times I'll tell you my dick is huge and you'll pet.
Yeah.
Peter, what's what?
It's not that big.
Three times.
Peter told us he's got a little dick.
Hey Judas is running around with a picture of God's dick on his phone
He's trying to sell it for 30 silver
Judas does that
Judas is not only fans
Judas is not only fans
Judas saw God getting out of the pool though
And that's not really like fair play
We don't have a we don't have what the temperature of the pool
We didn't know what they didn't have heated pools then
But it did turn to wine
And everyone thought it was because he pissed
And it had like the PPC in it
Yeah it wasn't like cool like we think it was
Everyone's kind of like
It kind of reeks of Merlo at this car
I already have.
Cool.
Thanks, Jesus.
Gee, I don't even know how to clean that.
He ruined my white bathing suit.
Of course, we're all wearing linen bathing shoes.
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.
Sean Cougarmel Jordan is here.
What do you have to tell people about, buddy?
O'Clair, Wisconsin, first week in October,
second week in October, Grand Rapids, Michigan,
with Kyle Canaan, third week in October, Rapid City, South Dakota.
And that's it.
Beautiful.
David Borders here.
Cool guy, Jokes 87 on Instagram.
No dates right now.
a special September 9th, 800-pound gorilla on YouTube.
It's out.
It's out.
John Gabris.
No,
no live dates, but you can get the Gino-Lombardo physical media tape at gino.
gabras.com, all 30 episodes of the semi-scripted Gino-Lombardo series.
Full-series arcs, full-season arcs, and very cool art done by a local Long Island artist.
That's gino.gabris.com.
What's the form of physical media?
It's a cassette tape that pulls out with the USB with all 30 episodes on it.
So I did, like, liner notes and, like, all that stuff
and, like, custom art and shit for it.
So I'm obsessed with physical media now.
For some reason, I have more space my life for it.
All right.
I've gotten, I've gotten Mary in the, I've got so much more serious
from a conversation from, like, a minute ago about God with the penises.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then we all just talking about our plugs.
Like, all right, let's fucking get it.
We came out of hyperspace.
People will think there must have been some transition.
Where will everyone be?
I've gotten really into physical media in the last year.
I think streamers have really taught us a lesson.
They're like, you pay pigs enjoy.
And they keep raising the prices.
And I'm eventually like, I think I have Pop Star never stop stopping on like six different things.
I'm like, I have the Blu-ray.
It's just in storage.
If I can't find Blow streaming, I get furious sometimes.
I'm like, if I get just have it.
You got to call a guy to get Blumby.
They just run up and start sniffing the TV.
It's not one of the things they have on Amazon.
Dude, they got it streaming now.
You don't have to have a guy come over your house and talk for six hours.
You don't have to text a guy whose name is in your phone as Charlie Vegas.
You don't have to think about how to open the conversation.
You working? Is that weird?
Yeah, I think you're offering anybody.
What's a text before you ask for a call?
Yeah.
Oh, shit, man.
You still got that lizard?
Like something off the last text you saw.
No, I was thinking about getting samurai swords too.
Anyways, sending him a picture of a snowflake emoji.
like the cop's not going to know?
Anyway, you're still a Coke dealer?
Holy shit, those Raiders, huh?
Okay, text
back if you're near a cop.
Coke dealers love the Raiders.
For sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Al Davis, that's the cocaine
that's a sports owner of all time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, because he gives Coke to his barber.
Yeah, absolutely.
There you go.
All right.
Close your eyes and cut my hair.
Here's hedge clippers and a fucking kilo.
Cut my hair.
Don't stop it to
you're numb.
Do his barber before a haircut.
You want some coke?
You can see me, Ian Carmel on Instagram, Ian Carmel
on Blue Sky. You can watch my special
Comfort Beyond God's Foresight.
Also on 800-pound gorilla, David and I are label-mates now.
Hey, Death Row.
Check that out if you haven't seen it. You can buy my book,
T-shirt, Swim Club, or you can listen to the audiobook if you want.
You can get it from a library. Check that out, too.
I have no live dates or anything like that to promote.
out. Now let's
podcast.
Start recording now, Isaac.
All that stuff was just to play
at her ego. We
could talk about my book all day.
That's the other thing we're talking about. But instead,
we're here to fantasy draft.
Steve's. Oof.
Okay. Steve's. I'm very
excited for this draft. Now,
was this Patreon? It was one of the Patreon
ones. That makes a little
more sense because Sean texts
to me. He's like, we're thinking about doing Steve,
or if you have any other pitches.
A bunch.
And I pitched a bunch back.
He's like,
how do you feel about Steve?
What were your pitches?
Oh, they were all done.
They were like,
no, they were great.
It was just,
it was like,
I was just thinking about
everyone's sleeping.
I'm like,
what's going to be the easy one?
What's going to be?
Right.
Sean texted us last night.
I think like I was in bed.
I think it was like midnight or something.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I happen to just be absolutely baked
having fallen asleep
watching the burbs for work.
Oh, beautiful.
Yeah, I'm a 43-year-old man.
That's what I was doing.
late at night for work.
They're crazy that these are our jobs.
I love it.
It's really wonderful.
Then my job switched to Googling Steve's in the middle of the time.
Tengential.
Yeah, we got a bunch of texts from Sean like, what do you think about this?
And then it's just like, I'm making an executive decision.
It was just like pop, blah, blah, blah.
It was like, Steve.
It felt like you were spirally.
I threw in some of the other ones.
I was, yeah.
I was having a rough night.
My mind was elsewhere last night.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just for me, it was an easy one.
Yeah, you were watching, you were watching 9-11.
Trying to get cooking.
I was watching, show was watching Zite Guys too.
He was watching Loose Change again.
Talking to the neighbors, get in here, get in here.
Show was hearing that jingle-jangle, if you know what I mean?
We watched Zite Geist one and two together, didn't we?
Yes, we did.
The old apartment, and we were just sitting there like,
Back to Back to Back?
Yeah, and we're like, I can't say they're not making points.
I think we were eating like blue bonded ice cream and drinking Mountain Dew watching Zite Geist.
So dangerous.
Yeah.
On, like, day three of the pandemic, we were locked in the house.
I had just gotten a volcano the second the pandemic hit.
I was like, I got a PS5 in a volcano.
And I'm like, oh, let me watch this hyper-normalization doc.
Everyone tells me about it.
I was like, not the time.
I, like, ruined my wife's day.
I was like, do you have any ideas?
Like, we are locked in the fucking house together and now I'm getting radicalized.
You're not in control.
You understand.
What's this preparing us for?
We can't go back out there.
And it is funny to bring that up.
based on 2025.
Yeah, a dude, I know.
Guy was correct.
He was making a lot of sense.
I've never seen it.
You haven't seen hypernormalization?
That's a fucking good one.
Yes.
What's the guy's name again?
Adam Curtis.
Adam Curtis.
Yeah.
Firsty, firsty.
Maybe I'll go bum myself out.
Go bum yourself out?
No, you need to watch Braveheart today.
Oh, you haven't watched Braveheart?
He's never seen Braveheart.
I'm so jealous that you get to like.
It's a me movie, too.
Ray Hart is like something I would like.
He hates Jews.
I don't even know Mel Gibson as an actor
I just listen to his voicemail
The philosopher, Mel says into his wife
The voicemails he leaves his wife
I love him from that
The recording artist, no wonder the Malibu police
Let him do whatever he wants
Mel Gibson
The cheeseburger guy, that guy's in movies
The rapper?
The avant-garde rapper Mel Gibson
There's got to be a rapper
He uses a lot of the same vocabre
Is it Melvin?
Is it Melvin Gibson is so much.
funny. Melvin Gibson? Because I don't know.
Is it Melvin Gibson? Let me look it up.
It would be crazy. It's melatonin?
Carmel. It's Carmel
Gippson. It's Carmel.
Mel? It's just Mel.
Mel? That's the most Australian shit.
Columcile Gerard Gibson.
His first name is just Mel, but he has two middle names.
Two little names that are buck as hell. Columcile. Columseal.
Not to pull, not to, I would hate to speak bad about Mel Gibson, but he was not
born in Australia. He's from
Westchester County, New York.
His dad won jeopardy
and moved the whole family to Australia
when he was like two years old.
So he's American. Yeah, he's born American
raised in Australia.
I don't know why, but that makes me
really angry. Yeah, I don't know what. It's like
stolen Aussie Valor. Yeah. But he did
have the
he grew up there. He grew up there. He had the accent. You can hear
it in like lethal weapon even. I saw a tanker that can
hold that gazellane.
Remember when he said that?
Yeah, it's starting to sound like Ziggy.
Yeah, you can even leave the weapons.
Oh, you guys.
Like, he'll slide into it.
Yeah.
You're like, you know, I don't an Australian in this fucking movie, dude.
Enie, meenie, mo'y, me.
It's a good thing, our politics align.
Otherwise, I'd probably get mad at him for that.
I might have to write you up.
His grandfather was a millionaire tobacco businessman from the southern United States.
That's evil.
That's evil.
Leath a weapon starring Daniel Glover and Melvin Gibson.
Just Mel baby.
Is his real name just Danny?
No, he lives in Lake, he's a Lake.
He's a Portland guy.
Hold, please.
He's a Portland guy, right?
He lives there.
La Daniel.
Danny.
Who am I looking at?
Danny Glover.
Dan Glover.
He's from San Francisco.
Le Daniel.
La Daniel O'Gloved Tomlinson.
Danny Glover is named Danny Glover.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I'm sure he's Daniel on his birth certificate, but you know.
It must be.
Sag makes you pick that name for good to, you know,
like Michael Keaton's real name.
is Michael Douglas.
But he couldn't pick that
because there was already
a Michael Douglas.
Oh, I thought it was Buster Keat.
His real name was Buster Douglas.
That's really confusing.
If Michael Keaton
fought Mike Tyson.
Albert Brooks's real name
is Albert Einstein.
Right.
Really?
Yes.
And Bob Einstein.
His brother.
Yeah.
What's been Diesel's real name again?
Vincent Diesel?
No, it's like, it's like, Mark Sinclair.
That's what it is.
Oh, right. Yeah. So crazy.
Oh, I thought it was Vincenzo DiCorelli.
Giovanni Fier-Platey.
Well, hell, yeah.
Where are we doing?
We're fucking drafting steves.
Steve.
We're drafting steves.
Now, the way we determine the order of this draft
is a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors,
played between the three of you.
And we throw on shoot.
All right, here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, Gaborz wins.
A natural paper gets to.
rocks. A natural victory.
John is the winner is incumbent upon you to determine
the order of today's draft, but before you do that,
I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.
And what is that? It's a great question. It's like Gomez
Adams kissing up and down Mortisha's arm.
So he does double at the wrist
and double at the shoulder.
Man, he was horny, huh?
They were horny as hell. Have you seen Mortisha
though? Yeah. Yeah. They didn't
play her out like Peg Bundy though. At least Mortisha
was like supposed to be. Yeah, she was
a smoke. But Peg Bunny, I thought Al was
the only one who thought she wasn't hot. Like,
By the way, Al was also, he's in really good shape in that show.
Like, they make him a slum.
Yeah, he tried out for the Colts.
He played for the Steelers.
He tried out for the Steelers.
That actual dude.
He played for him.
Yeah.
He played for him.
He played for him and he was in training camp or whatever.
And then they were going to extend his contract or no, they were going to send him to
be maybe a cult, whatever.
They're like, we found you a team to play for.
And then he was like, no, I'm going to be an actor.
And then he moved to New York.
Ed O'Neill.
Ed O'Neill.
He had a roster to professional football acting.
It's crazy because he like, he fought.
He was a fighter.
I mean, like a bar fighter.
This used to be who our leading men were in Hollywood.
They were like, he was a Marine, he was a quarterback.
He was an archer, a poet.
He thought acting was gay and then got into it when he realized he was also gay.
He had to give me an absolute renaissance man.
And now it's like he was friends with Logan Paul.
And now he has an Amazon Prime movie.
Fucking A.
Have you ever looked into Chris Christopherson's life and career?
yeah crazy
he was a road scholar
hold on
him and Bill Clinton
I learned probably about a year ago
on this show
that it's not ROAD scholar
by the way
I thought it was road scholar
yeah that's what you call
that you call your stand-up
Like you're on the road a bunch
yeah I'm the road scholar
A bit of a road scholar
you catch me in Bismarck next weekend
if enough people didn't know
that I didn't actually know that
that would be a good name
for the next special
and now they'd be like
where you're just showing us
how dumb you are again
we remember
God, yeah.
So he just got a crazy life.
He was so good at like football and rugby union and track
that he was in one of those SI like up and coming.
You know where they're like,
this guy's just like an amazing athlete.
And they just wrote about him.
Yeah, I used to always wish I could be in that in high school.
Oh, fuck.
So Chris Christophers was in one of those.
And then he was a Rhodes Scholar.
And then he like wrote all the,
he's just like wrote songs for me.
What do you have to do to be a road school?
He went to US Army Ranger school and completed helicopter pilot training.
what see now this is who needs to hang out with blade
and he was a highway man right that's the real whistler
eventually that's my whistler
he thought it was a dog
he used to fly workers to and from oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico
and he would write new songs while he was
America Gulf of America sorry
and he would write new songs like while he was flying
back and forth is that what wait
what yes after being a road scholar
instead of like taking a job at like
you know Goldman's
He was like, I'm just going to fly helicopter.
He became an Army Ranger and then flew helicopters to and from oil rig.
Steve McQueen was like, I'm going to race cars.
And now, like, our mega celebrities are like, I'm going to launch a mobile phone company.
You're like, oh, fucking cool.
I own a soccer team.
Awesome.
Billionaires, billionaires, zoom out from fucking movie stars.
Billionaires used to have to at least launch museums so we hated them less.
And now billionaires just do podcasts.
He's that fucking crazy.
The Sacklers were absolute villains, but they built wings of museums.
Elon can't even make a fucking donation to the fucking Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.
To be fair, his museum would suck.
It would absolutely suck.
It would be memes.
It's a meme museum.
It's a meme museum.
My son's X. Z loves it.
Fuck you.
Get him.
This is a pretty pro-Elon podcast.
Sorry, Bob.
He always texts me if we, if we dog,
him out he's like pro i wish i wish rust cole could sit down with him and just say i'm gonna want to
kill yourself yeah i just rewatch true detective season one so okay my rus cole reps are on fire
that was weird i like you season one man god it's fucking heavy gabers with that in mind what will
the order of today's draft be you get to pick oh okay i thought all right uh well let's do uh we'll start
david and go uh left to right for the viewers at all right yeah john e and
Sean.
Okay.
David Johnny and John, David Johnny and Sean, David, Johnny and Sean.
Dave, you have the first pick in the Steve's.
How many do we end up doing on this?
Five each. Five each.
Now, before we get into this.
In case you don't know what five times four is idiot.
That's great.
I go five each, 20 total.
Why would I say that?
So it's 20 total?
Okay, that's all I need to know is the total.
That helps me.
I can figure it out from there.
I'll do the rest of the math from 20.
It's 80 less than 100 total.
All right, yeah.
If we're doing 20, 20.
Steve's.
Now, there are Steve adjacent names.
Stevens.
Stevees.
Isaac says no.
I don't think they should count.
I think it should be Steve's.
Hard Steve.
Okay, because even a Stephen?
I like hardcore, hard steves.
Hard steves makes it more difficult.
Yeah, for sure.
I said all of us in this, I said loose.
Did we not say loose?
You said loose.
I can go hard.
We were a bad.
We didn't disagree.
I did say to him
I did text back
Stevens only
do Stevens account
he goes whatever your mind
desires bro or something like
He was on a different wave last night
I'm down to keep it strict
Let's go hard thieves
I don't have enough written down
Hard thieves
Steve's with bonus
You better find a Steve door
To help you unload some new steves
Oh there he goes
Steve's
Yeah nice
All right
Fuck
Steve's
Steve's only
Steve's okay
Well that changes a lot
David you have the first pick
And we're gonna get to it
Christmas Steve
right at it's Adam and Steve
not Adam and Steve
you have the first pick
we're gonna get to it right after
it's Steve and Eve
not Adam and Steve
it's Steve and Steve
not Stephen and anyone
good stevening ma'am
that's what that show is about
you guys got to stop the wrist
you have to take a break
enough's enough
we'll be right back
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Steve
Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve
Come on back, Steve
you're good
Except of course
for the Gino Lombardo
available now
on physical media
Gino.gabris.com
get yourself
the 30 episode series
available now.
That and all fantasy
everything.
Those are the only things
you're permitted to listen to.
Yeah.
David Bore,
you have the first pick.
Stone Cold Austin.
Damn it.
Motherfucker.
Of course, of course.
He drank beers.
He fucking took out the whole McMahon family.
Have you ever watched that?
Were you just like, uh, stuns everybody?
Ah, it's fine.
Wow, wow.
Stephanie, surely he won't.
Oh, yeah.
I also loved.
He's awesome.
That guy's the best.
I love that he went zero to stunner.
Because like usually in a wrestling match, you know, like you think, okay,
he has to work up to his finishing move, right?
Yeah.
That's kind of the story that they like.
to tell.
Fucking right into the stunner.
Well, they have to keep that illusion alive
or else why not just come out
immediately spear the guy, pin him?
Why do you wait to do your finishing?
Like, just, there's no imaginary energy
bar that you need to build up so you unlock
the special hit L&R at the same
time thing. But you have to make this
world or else it's just like, just walk in, stun
the Undertaker Pinham and walk home. Just give everybody
to the rocks bottom and leave. What's going on?
Also, denim shorts.
Denim shorts. Oh, fuck.
Seena couldn't pull it off.
Seena did pull it off.
Xena looks nearly as cool as Stonecoldson.
No. Are you talking about
talking about strong bald energy earlier?
Man, that's...
Come on.
Okay, that's a very positive.
He made me want to chug beers early.
Yeah, yeah.
Positive male role model.
Yeah.
I used to impress all the older kids
when I got this lifeguarding job.
I used to impress all the older kids
because I practiced doing Stone Cold Steve Austin
on like water bottles and stuff at home.
So to date, I can pour a beer
from arms length of way.
and barely spill any of that.
That's commitment to the craft.
Something I'm so proud of.
Get at me.
You ever done it like in a bar
and they're just like,
brother, you can't be doing it.
The frequency in which I brought
a performative element to an area
where that no one wanted it
is so real in my life
where the amount of times
where I'm like at a party
and I'm like,
it's actually from the movie
and I'm at the whole part
and everyone at the party is like
fucking shoot this guy.
Stone Coldens from Rose
and a top of us.
in Barcelona.
Can we get you a water bottle for the meeting?
And you're like, total god.
But yeah, Stone Cold, the music, the man.
Yeah, good call.
My older brother was, like, so into Stone Cold Steve Austin,
which only made him cooler to me, too.
Like, he was so powerful already.
He's still cool.
He's still got him.
He's awesome.
Yeah, he's got the right vibes.
Broken Skull Ranch, brother.
I played him in a...
My school required a health video project
They did make for health class
And we did the dangers of steroids
But really it was just me and like eight friends
Doing wrestling walk-ons
For like the first nine minutes of the video
But in the 10th minute
Stone Cold pour steroids into his mouth
Like their beer and OD
Oh, that's awesome.
It was me.
I smashed together two jars
In my mom's fish oil
And poured them all over my face.
To go black and white sad violin music
Just don't
Stone Cold Steve Austin
What a great thing
What a big swing
I'm gonna end up having to like
Google other steves
Because I'm I'm in the
I've already done it
I got the list open
Hell yeah
All right
If fuck without the Stevens
Okay I'm gonna have to go
I'm gonna have to go
I'm gonna have to go Bouchemi
Yeah that's great
Yeah absolutely
That's a first round talent right there
Yeah
Yeah I don't have much of a choice man
He's just a fucking you know hero
he made a movie called Trees Lounge
named for like a famous Long Island bar
and it takes place on one island so
it's a kind of hometown hero.
Is he from Long Island?
No, he's from New York though, I think.
He's a firefighter, right?
He was a FDN. Y, yeah.
And not in like the
Seagall, I almost spoiled,
but he's not a Steve.
No, he don't count.
Yeah, yeah.
So like not in like a stolen valor.
I'm also a sheriff.
Give me a gun.
Like all these like rich people event,
like Shaq and Elvis,
like eventually become a cop and stuff.
Ronnie Coleman
Ronnie Coleman
Elvis is like
I kind of like
I kind of forgive Elvis
is becoming an FDA agent
because I'm just like
he didn't know
like he was on so many
like barbiturates at the time
I don't think he had any idea
he was a martial artist
and a sheriff
and he was good old days
he was a soldier
he like the good old days
the karate bar is a good idea
by the way
we should put a pin in that
yeah
you should
dress code
you should have to wear a
you should have to wear a ghee
when you arrive
yeah and then like
the
Regulars have geese in their cars or stuff.
Like, eventually get good.
After, like, 100 days of drinking or whatever, you get.
You get a belt.
Oh, you get belts.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
That's crazy.
When you get up to be like a red, like, the higher belts, get you different
drink specials.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get an extra hour on free.
Yeah.
Double black belts.
But it's like, it's like real black belt where it takes 10 years.
Yeah.
You got to, like, go to Japan to get it.
And you got to like serve drinks to other white belts to prove that you know if you're doing.
Like, it's like all that shit.
Dude, because I do want to be in a key with my friend.
For sure.
Dude, a geese is of real fucking shit.
We should be wearing geese.
We should be the best key pocket.
My mom found my old uniform.
I showed you the picture.
My mom, I went to this place called Sue Falls Black Belt School.
And she found the shirt with the big tiger on it that said Sue Paul's Blackbilt's
We're getting close to the jacket.
We got to get the jacket.
She said it's like an adult men's large.
I'm like, well, that's me.
I went to Nick Menna Karate, which was an Italian Korean War Vets garage on Long Island.
Yeah.
where he had USMC tattooed on his knuckles
for the United States Marine Corps,
covered in tattoos,
wore a huge cross chain in his hairy chest
and a A shirt, a ribbed tank top
and would teach karate in that.
And I thought it was so cool as a kid.
And then my dad, who picked us up and dropped us off,
eventually joined the dojo,
and it ruined karate for me.
Oh, but now my dad is taking it seriously.
Like, I'm like, what a fucking loser.
It's also funny, because that probably wasn't karate.
No, it was Taekwondo for sure
But he just was sanctioned
Yeah, it was sanctioned
It was in this dude's garage
Yeah, yeah
But it was the move, the real move
Yeah, it was officially called
He learned it in Korea
Which is the as a Taekwondo
Taekwondo is an art from Korea
But it was still called karate
I think from marketing
In like Long Island in the 90s
They don't know
They don't know
They don't know what Japan is Korea is
Yeah, no it doesn't matter
I think
I do
And before I was friends with you
And I appreciate that
when I had to learn where all the countries were.
I'll work on your show under one circumstance.
David better fucking learn where Korea is.
And I did.
And I did.
Where's Korea?
Further north than you think.
Further north than you think.
That's true. This is true. Yeah.
Kiyongyang.
Oh, excuse me.
That's north.
But yeah.
I'm just saying stuff.
Busan, dude.
snack food.
Hey, I watched five episodes of Butterfly this morning, so I'm ready to rip.
Is that Korean?
It's Daniel Day Kim's show.
It takes place in Seoul.
I don't know if he's actually Korean.
it's him being stranded in Seoul
yeah it's crazy crazy premise
Daniel Day Kim from lost
That's him that I didn't want to sound like a racist
He's the guy from a Lincoln
He'll be blood
Age of Innocent acting
I love that by the way
Daniel Day Lewis is like
Hasn't been in a movie in 10 years and he's coming out
One that his son wrote and directed
Imagine you can get
My dad could be in the movie
Who's your dad? Daniel Day Lewis
Yeah
Green light bitch
I thought he said he was like
I thought he retired, for real.
He did, but then his son wanted to direct, and you know how it is, dude.
That's the ultimate Nepo shit.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It is, dude.
Fine, I'll be in another movie as Daniel Day Lewis.
If Maxine, if your daughter directed a movie and it was like, Daddy, will you please be in it?
You'd do it.
Even though you've retired for Matthew.
What if she wanted to film a skate part?
I'm not, I don't want her to get on the board, man.
I'm not, I'm not juiced for, like, her to start skating if she wants to.
I don't know how people have a four-year-old kid out there and want them to skate, but it's so dangerous.
Helmet?
Yeah, all the pads.
But when did you start skating?
After taekwondo.
So I started skating when I was like 14.
Yeah.
That's like the average age when you're like...
That seems reasonable.
And riding your bike becomes corny.
You start skating.
At least than that's what happened to me.
We're like, I think we're getting a little old to ride our bikes around.
Like, how you guys want to try skateboarding?
You should teach her how to play jazz trumpet.
That's safe.
We got a piano.
Teacher the piano, teacher coding and teacher martial arts.
Yep.
Digital marketing probably.
The big three.
Podcast engineering.
out.
Teach you're one of those sports
only rich kids do
like fencing.
So then if she's even
kind of athletic
she can go to the Olympics.
Teach how to put captions
on stand-up videos
on Instagram
so she can work for you.
Man.
Really use some help with this.
Give her my number.
I know.
We've got four new business parts.
Old man's a little out of touch.
Yeah, I don't know.
Bouchem.
I should be,
my wife and I just watched Fargo
last night on account of blank checks
doing all the,
you were wonderful on there.
You were wonderful on there.
My appearance, by the way.
But the,
they're doing all the
Cohen Brothers movies
So we watched Fargo last night
Buscemi's in that
Bushemey's fucking great
Fargo is in a fucking beautiful movie
He's awesome in everything
He's awesome in Mr. Deeds
He brings never bad
He brings like the same energy
To Billy Madison
As he does to like
All the art house movies and shit he's in
He's just such a treat
Like wearing bug eyes in one movie
And then like taking it super seriously
I love that guy
I saw a screening of Reservoir Dogs
At the Vista the other day
him in that movie
steals the show
in a movie full of heavy hitters
but I thought Bouchemey was the best
Tim Roth
tried to steal the show
no but Roth
he tried he tried he was really
really acting in that movie
he was really getting
something done
the American accent pretty convincing
yeah he was I love
I saw the Kill Bill
Volume 1 and 2
whole bloody affair at the vista
and it was shortly after Michael
Madsen had passed away and in the credits
when his name came up, huge pop applause.
And I turn to the guy I'm with.
I'm like, I fucking love L.A.
Later on it says,
executive reduced by Harvey Weinstein.
The whole crowd, boo-hoo.
And I was like, I'll like fucking rules.
They're booing EPs.
They know what development execs to hate.
It's awesome.
That's awesome.
Busemi, great pick.
Time for my pick.
Ooh.
What?
Oh, man.
Damn, yeah.
Dunked on him.
Yeah.
It was going to be the first pick, yeah.
Show me.
Harvey?
I predicted his sexiness, by the way.
His, like, sexy role that he fell into where he's wearing, like, designer suits and everything and doing GQS.
Well, we've been wearing designer suits.
Well, right.
You're saying they got a little, they got a little tighter.
They got a little tailored.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's been, been wearing suits.
Yeah.
the original shoulder pads of comedy
we should all get Steve Harvey suits
we should sitting here
wouldn't that be awesome
wouldn't that be so fucking awesome
okay we get karate geese
we get Steve Harvey suits
hold on maybe that's a different bar
I think we have the Steve Harvey suits
tailored into karate geese
yeah we just tie a bow on it yeah
I don't even know what you're saying
karate suits yeah I like it though
yeah I'm on board
Harquando
Harquando
Harquanne
Karadvi.
Karadvi?
Karadvi?
Karashti?
We'll put it on the cork board work on it.
Steve Harvey, so fucking funny.
Just in kind of everything he does.
And sort of managed to be at least lightly part of pop culture for, is it 50 years now?
Five years?
He's around forever.
More ubiquitous than a lot of other people would have ever been in our lives.
like he's had so many phases to us
it's like so wild
he has one of the most singular
mustaches in current pop culture
yeah he's got that Mr. Potatohead
vibe is he in a thing with the Steve Harvey show
yeah does he not have a mustache ever
is he ever been out there without a stash
like has he ever been anything without a mustache
I feel like I haven't seen it I don't think I have either
no even Bert Reynolds shaved it in the longest yard
like that's fucking crazy to imagine
another dude who like
was like came from like got into acting
but was playing football and doing crazy ship before.
Yeah, he almost went pro, yeah.
That's back in the day where you would just say
you were part Native American.
Like, every guy was like, yeah, I'm part Cherokee.
Yeah, it's like, okay.
My dad, I'll tell you this.
At the beginning of a bottle of vodka,
I was like 164th Cherokee.
And when there was this much vodka left,
I was like, I was Cherokee.
Yeah, we were Cherokee.
He would, yeah, he would start talking.
He would start trying to teach me Cherokee.
I mean, it was.
No way.
Your dad got so drunk he taught you in Native American languages?
I've, there's a couple of things.
It's Cherokee or Lakota, but yeah,
Jaywashish Chinakaka as Juanucci.
Johnny Kakashimasha.
No, just particular phrases.
Actual, actual Cherokee.
I thought you meant he got so shit-faced.
He would just like make it up.
He was trying to order a pizza.
I was that Cherokee?
Dad, you're not making any sense.
Shawnee, I was a coat talk.
I was a wind talk.
Dad, just let's watch this Larry Bird documentary.
Tonight, let's let the wind talk.
I was a wind talker
But funny comedian, funny actor
Funny game show host
Style icon
Novelist
I just Googled Steve Harvey
Without a mustache
And I think I think I'm traumatized
You're on a list now
Yeah I didn't want to look it up
In your face Isaac like started shaking a little bit
I was like oh my God
Now Google him shirtless
That'll get you there
You're gonna die in one week
Like you just watched the ring
Yeah I don't want that to happen
Get shirtless though
Shirtless will fix you know must
He's got a little tiny mustache
in the middle of his head.
One underneath each nipple.
Believe it or not, there are images.
No, we know.
We've seen him.
It's a famous photo shoot.
He's shredded.
It's crazy to get topless
and then put on jeans.
Yeah, that's wild.
I get photographed that way.
I had a friend who worked on the Steve Harvey
daytime talk show and
they would have to have like a meeting
once a week that was for the entire staff.
But clearly was just one thing they needed to tell Steve.
like so it would be like we actually can't say oriental
you know what I mean
it would be like company wide meeting
like 100 people in the conference room
and everyone's like what and it's like Steve
just like nodding and my buddy's like we would have
one meeting a month that was such a hyper
specific thing of like okay
so here's some things we shouldn't do to our coworkers
it was clearly only for Steve but no one could say like
we should have a one on one with him you can't tell
a woman you'd like to pop a boba straw into that booty
and suck
and nobody can say that.
Nobody.
Not even the janitors.
Nobody can say that.
Everybody's here.
That was so specific.
Not in the workplace.
Well, yeah, he says hyper-specific.
Pretty funny, dude.
Yeah, you know.
Funny specific things.
Funny specific things.
Specific ocean.
Sean, time for your first and second picks.
Got to go to the best God-fearing, Protestant, white male vocalist in all time, Steve Winwood.
Yeah.
I love Steve Winwood.
I love him so much.
I think he's one of the best singers that's ever.
ever existed.
I'm so funny.
I saw him come up
and like when I Googled
famous Steve
and I don't even know
who this fucking guy is.
Oh yes you do.
This man
loves Steve Winwood.
Steve Winwood, dude.
Lead singer for traffic.
Lead singer for the Spencer
Davis Group.
You know that song?
Give me some loving.
Give me,
give me, that's Steve Winwood.
I like to say.
Valerie,
I hate to keep piling on
but you're like,
you definitely know he is.
Lead singer of traffic,
lead singer of river blues.
Like two phrases I've never heard
in my life.
Oh, yeah.
Rocket Talk Steve and the honking
You love Rwarkystocks.
If he would say, like, oh, he's a guitarist
and the Steve Miller banners.
I couldn't even play.
Oh, Steve Miller.
You can't.
They couldn't.
You can't have two of the same band.
Higher love.
Valerie.
You knew the, you know these.
Steve Winwood, man.
I love him.
I love to pieces.
We've talked about him a whole bunch.
He's from Birmingham.
Is Alabama boy?
No, he's from England.
Oh, sure.
That was awesome.
That was awesome.
Al-A-Lammer.
Pretty solid.
Roll-Tide.
Brammer.
Bama accent by Ian.
I just realized I didn't,
he's British.
I never heard of talk.
Down there in muscle shells.
He's supplying muscle shows.
Yeah.
Never heard him talk.
That's a good brummy.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
It's a good what?
Brumee of people from Birmingham.
Birmingham.
Birmingham.
Birmingham.
He said it wrong, idiot.
Birmingham.
Way down in Alabama, Bam, Bama.
Isn't that where Oasis is?
from?
They're from
Manchester.
Manchester.
Manchester.
I'm from
Northern
Cold Dumpshire.
Like all the
names when you
get fucking narrowed down
it's like
I'm from
Cumshire.
What?
There was one.
It was like
It said like the
dirtiest road trip
through Ireland
and it was just like
15 towns
where you're like
what?
You're allowed to call it this?
I can't even
I can't post this
because some of these
words
you cannot say this.
We've traced back
your family.
history and you're from a place called
Kunt's Lament.
You can't get the city
you're from as a vanity plate.
That's awesome.
You couldn't wear high school stuff.
Your great, great, great, great
grandfather was the third bairn of boiling
shit calderin on
Thames.
On Thames.
Play cricket there, so good.
Yeah, you love
Steve Winwood. You were going to get either
Harvey or Winwood, right? I knew
that was going to be the first. There's
that for the first one. Second one, I'm going to stay musical
going Steve Perry. Oh, okay. I'd love to say
it.
I think Perry's better than Winthropo Chasers.
You know who I'm talking about. Now I know who Steve Perry is.
Barbecue Chase, Five Oceans. He was a
band called Five Oceans. He was
one half of the duo that brought us Perry Ellis
clothing. Him
and Sean Ellis. The back of
back from the New York Jets in 1999?
Of course.
I only know him because my uncle
still talks about how he landscapes his house.
That's like the most Long Island shit ever
is that my uncle's a landscaper
and all he talks about is how Sean Ellis
and him are very cool with each other.
And it's been for 15 years though
he hasn't played for like the last 12.
And my uncle still just hasn't gotten
a new celebrity to re-off it.
So he's still like, I was over at Sean Ellis's house
the other day, rolled me a fat blonde.
It was very cool.
And I'm like, yeah, he sounds really cool.
He is just a retired 40.
guy at this point he's just a rich 40 year old dude who lives on long island now he had nine
tackles against the broncos like my dad sat next to howie long on a plane one time and that's
all and he would bring it up like they were in nom together he's the neck on this fucking guy was
wasn't your dad also huge yeah six six three 50 whoa my dad was my dad was six five 250 tall lanky guy
yeah do you think they're talking about big guy stuff sitting next to each other i think howie long
probably wasn't too chatty okay i think my dad was probably drunk
out of his mind.
I fucking love
Firestorm.
Anybody call you Howard?
How do you get it so even?
Did you sue
Gile?
That's you right.
You're Gile, right?
What do you feed your neck?
It's actually two necks.
You killed the guy and took his neck, didn't you?
Two necks put together.
We should go get some pussy after this.
I'm going to tell my son about it.
This is then shortly leave after he's born.
Not all of them, it is.
Shoot or shoot.
What's your favorite journey song?
Point with my pinky again.
Oh, I don't know, man.
I mean, it can't be don't stop believing.
It's played.
Why?
That's played.
It could be, though.
I like, um...
Does he have a solo song called, Oh, Sherry?
Yeah.
I fucking love that song.
Yeah.
That's a banger.
Maybe.
Or am I thinking.
Yes, he does.
Yes, he does.
Yeah.
Oh, Sherry.
Our love.
Hold on.
What's, um...
This one.
What should have been gone.
That's the one.
Should have been gone.
That's this song.
Made you feel.
Oh, that's so Sherry?
Yeah.
Okay, then that, we'll say.
All right.
So solo.
Yeah, I also really like the, what's the lights in the city song?
Is it just called Lights in the City?
When the lights go down in the city, I want to be there in my city.
I know wheel on the sky keeps on turning.
I'll tell you that.
That's a good one.
Yeah, you got a pinky point.
It made a play over here.
Go nowhere I'll be tomorrow.
Perfect.
See, a lot of people are going to think.
think Steve Perry was in the studio.
He retired from singing.
Yeah, upgrade to the video tier to see Steve Perry sing these songs.
Yeah, yeah.
He burst in, took the mic.
He's got a podcast to headgum, too.
He has a prehensile penis.
He used this prehensile penis to take my microphone and sing into it.
What's prehensile?
You can use it as a hand, like a prehensile tail.
Prehensile tail, you have like a little bit of motor control over it.
Yeah.
Interesting.
You fucking numbskull.
Brother.
You Nimrod.
Can't be hot and smart.
You do.
I like that as a comeback.
I wish I would have thought of it years ago.
You weren't hot then.
Now you're hot.
Now it makes sense.
That was an ugly idiot back then.
Now I'm a gorgeous asshole.
I love it.
Now only my friends are mean to me.
Time of my second pick.
And I'm going to take Steve Nash, dude.
Oh, nice.
Steve Nash.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
If you were in the Steve Nash game,
the way I was in the Steve Nash game,
you know he's second round talent.
That guy, Canadian, right?
South African, moved to Canada.
Oh, interesting.
The worst kind of Canadian.
See, he forgot.
Well, white, South African.
I would definitely move him up in my area.
No, no.
He's family owned a gem mine and they won.
No, no, no.
He was one of that.
Nope, I'm looking at this more.
He was actually, never mind.
Let's not.
Does it dissent.
Anytime I think of South Africa,
I think we talked about him earlier.
Danny Glover when the guy goes
But you're blick
He says I'm bleak
I'm blick
And they all keep
And him and Pesci
All keep saying it like
You blick
He says you blick
And they're laughing about it
I'm black
I remember being a kid
And being like to my dad
I'm like what is this
Talking about?
I didn't get any of it
What is his commentary on?
What is yeah
What is happening?
I didn't know what a diplomat was
And I remember asking my mom
Like can diplomats just murder people
Because that's what they're doing
In this movie
They're just
And he keeps saying at the end
He's like
Diplomitic a
And you're like, what the fuck does that mean?
I have a distinct memory of my dad going,
it's a real thing, but they mostly use it to like go through red lights and stuff.
And like to not have to wait in line and stuff.
And I was like, because when you're a kid,
when you hear like a blanket thing, like if you are a diplomat,
you can kill people.
You're like, that's awesome.
Yeah, it seems like the best job.
I've got to become a diplomat.
Why does I thirst for blood?
He, his parents were Welsh and British.
His dad was a professional soccer player
who was playing in South Africa
so that's why he was there.
Okay.
He was an entourage one time,
so I like that.
That's right.
A lot.
Steve Nash.
Two-time MVP,
eight-time All-Star,
and the seven seconds
or less sons
were one of the most fun things
that has ever happened
in basketball.
He was a blast.
Just like a cool guy.
Never going to ring?
Never got a ring?
Never got a ring,
but he did get second choice
from Ian Carmel
in an episode of All Fantasy,
everything.
I don't know, you know,
wasn't there?
Put it in the Rafters,
man.
a conspiracy that
his kid wasn't his?
Is that Steve Nash
or am I thinking of a different person?
No, you're thinking of Brent Barry
and Tony Parker
on the Spurs.
Okay, I got that.
You can see I'd mix those up.
Welcome back to Spectrum Sports.
You could see.
Returnity, question mark
and a big over the shoulder.
Steve Nash, yeah.
Yeah, and I've heard he smells amazing.
I could buy that.
I believe it.
Yeah.
I believe it.
I love when a big sweaty athlete
famously smells good.
That's awesome.
Awesome.
John, time for your second.
Here we go.
I'm going to go with,
there's two of them,
but I'm going with Steve McQueen.
Yeah.
Isn't it weird if I keep saying
the white Steve McQueen?
Like, is that a racist man in the bottom?
I'm referring, of course, to the white Steve McQueen.
You mean the South African Steve McQueen.
Yeah, yeah.
I say it all night, up and down the street.
He's a beautiful man, a great actor.
Race car driver.
Race car driver.
very interesting fucking dude
learned martial arts from Bruce Lee
to keep it in the family
to keep the topics karate based
so you know
and one of those actors that you heard
like your dad talk about a bunch
and you were like yeah
okay hot guy actor big deal
and then you watch one of his movies
when you were grown up and you're like
yeah well everyone was right about
he's absolutely fucking stowling
your dad's talking about it
and like listen I know your mom's always talking about
how she wishes I was more like Steve McQueen
there's a reason for that
She's right.
I do too.
I need to direct.
I only play pickup.
I scream in my pillow and I say that.
I just don't want you to hear it.
You know what's crazy is how Damian Lewis looks exactly like him
in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
I mean, it's like uncanny.
Jamie Lewis would love hearing that.
He does.
He does pull it off.
He does pull it off.
Oh yeah, yeah.
It's crazy, man.
But yeah, I don't, I've never actually seen any Steve McQueen movies.
What?
I know.
Is he in Braveheart?
He's a grave heart.
Can I two birds it tonight?
You're going to get through it.
Bullet is like his most famous one.
He looks fucking sexy as fucking.
What's the one where he plays at PLW?
Is he it?
The Great Escape.
Oh, the Great Escape.
I only know that from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, too, that they reference it in
their, like, put Nardwin.
That's a great movie, too, believe it or not.
Did he race motorcycles too?
That's just in the Great Escape he rode motorcycle.
But this is of the era where these guys were like,
I can fly a plane, I can fly a chopper.
That's what they, like,
He did ride motorcycles.
He's in the motorcycle Hall of Fame.
Yeah, I can.
Which, we're all in, too?
Which I guess we're at 60 bucks.
We get the patch.
He was honored with the Warren's Yvonne Tribute Award by the Asbestos
Disease Awareness Organization posthumously.
I watched something on the Wizard of Oz the other day, and they were saying a fact,
the snow was like dried up asbestos that they were sprinkling on it.
That's so funny.
The witch's makeup was like.
Like, she couldn't, it was poisonous and flammable.
It's, you're just like, are you serious?
This is what movies used to be like.
Going back to your dad telling you dumb shit,
when we watched Wizard of Oz for the first time,
my father goes,
you know, Jadi, Duriga, the Wizard of Oz,
but they're filmed with these little people,
they all fucked like crazy.
It was the biggest gathering of little people
that they've ever seen,
so they were all sucking and fucking,
I'm like, 11 years old,
and I'm like, oh, that's really interesting.
You know what else I found out?
Who judge your dad that you think?
I'm wondering
This is pre-internet for the most part.
Somebody had to be like, you know they fuck each other.
I love it when dudes like,
just you just make something up at a bar
and then a year later,
that's something that happened
and you're telling your 11-year-old son.
And it's like he's talking about it
35 years later on a lot.
The dog made more than anyone who was cast
as a little person than that.
The dog made like 125 bucks a day
and they all made like 50 bucks total, I think.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that insane?
That's so brutal.
At least Hollywood has figured it all out.
Yeah, at least they're good now.
Yeah, they're real.
Everyone's, everything's worked down.
Everything's fair.
Everything's really good.
Good job.
No more, no more asbestos getting sprinkled on it.
You need to watch some Steve McQueen movies, dude.
Yeah.
Have you seen a bunch?
I've seen a couple.
You just break my nose.
I know it's the same joke, but I keep thinking about you really did do it.
David, time for your second and third picks.
Irwin.
Fuck, dude.
That was a big one for me.
That was a big one for me.
That's like, I mean,
yeah.
Stone cold Steve Irwin.
Stone cold Steve Irwin.
He's slamming gators up in heaven.
Yeah, yeah.
Man, he ruled.
He really is.
Well, you stopped to think about it.
It's pretty fucking crazy that our generations,
a lot of stuff happened to us.
You know what I mean?
Like 9-11 happened while we were alive.
Between 9-11 and the death of Steve Irwin.
And the death of Steve Irwin.
in life.
Too much brutality.
I'm just like, they can't,
our animal guy got stabbed in the heart
by a stingray and died?
I know, how many animal guys have there been?
There's a bunch.
Every generation has an animal guy.
Jacques Cousteau lived a long time.
Like, every generation gets an animal guy.
Ours was stabbed in the heart
by a fucking stingray.
That's crazy.
Shot.
Shot through the heart.
Shot! Yeah, from a distance.
You give love a bad ray.
There he is.
That's why we're not paying you anything.
That would have killed on C-100.
Oh, yeah.
That's the kind of shit I was writing all the time.
I got another thing for you, Elvis Duran.
The zoo crew is going to go ape shit when they hear this.
History has been so kind to Steve Irwin.
We kind of mocked him a little bit because he was like his energy was off.
Yeah.
And then like it's like he led insane conservation.
And then when you see his family, his family is like,
and hopefully it's not just for money and weirdness.
But they're all like crazy nature for.
freaks down to, like, Bindi Irwin, yeah, they all love it.
They all wear the fucking safari suits and shit like that.
And it's like that, he ended up, we roasted him, rightfully so, but he ended up being like
a fucking good egg for society.
Yeah.
We need more people whose jobs is to be like, animals are amazing.
Don't put garbage in their homeland.
Yeah.
No, he was the best.
He was charismatic and passionate.
His wife from Oregon.
He's going to toss that out there.
He's going to toss that out there.
Or an Australian.
Oregon, Australia.
Nothing wrong with that.
You know, I had a PNW, might.
Get on your big weird bike.
The E-rigan dicks.
See, you're read for the dicks.
I can't do an Australian accent.
Ooh, he was praised by Sir David Attenborough.
Oh, that's the fucking blessing if you're a nature guy.
The only bigger blessing would be from Rick Flair.
That would be...
Do you know how he got the name of Nature Boy?
We talked about thinking of this out the other day.
Do you know?
We don't know either.
We have no idea.
I wish I had to find back for you.
I thought it was like a term.
It used to be like they called people Nature Boy.
Well, we found out that there was a Nat Cole song called Nature Boy.
That's probably what it is.
It was not about what you think.
It's not about being rich or fucking in the wood.
No, no.
Like, alligator shoe wearing like you got to kind of work backwards from that.
None of that shit.
That's not like, it's got really like beautiful lyrics.
That's not.
I have somehow been added to a group chat about a home interior designer.
and I can't tell if it's elaborate spam
but there's like two other people on it
it's like hi Liz, cans are in
but there's an issue with the kitchen cans
lights in front of the cabinets are not centered
they are too close to the shiplap
and casting those terrible shadows
I don't know how I ended up on this list
and I'm riding it out baby
anyway I'm sorry
Stone Cold Steve Irwin
and your third pick
I am going to
oh Gutenberg
yeah that's a good one
he was just so cool man
I don't know anything about his personal life
Mahoney
But shit he was cool
I'll tell you what
I know a few things about his personal life
Because I went down a deep dive
Of his Instagram not too long ago
Really?
Dude's got huge pecks
And he's always got him out
Really?
He's always shirtless
Walking and talking
Into Instagram live
He was in curb right
Wasn't it curb where he was showing off his pecks
I think so he's got like a fucking weirdly
He's got like Chong Lee from Bloodsport
He's got like yeah
I gotta check these phone
Tidys yeah
That's pretty cool
he's still cool
he like ran
he's got a specific body
this is like the third shirtless
50 year old man we've googled
sorry right
we're all of a certain age
his face card's still
you know what I always got me
so like on the cover of three men and a baby
can you look up the cover of three men and a baby
yep their names are not
above their head and I can't remember
which is which but there's my friend
who my bully growing up he told me
told me two things he told me
Clyde, Clyde Drexler's nickname was Clyde the Clyde, not Clyde the glide, which I'm like,
CJ, I think you're crazy.
Dude, people, you don't understand growing up in a pre-internet world, like, your friend could
just be wrong for all of ninth grade.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, there's just a friend, you're like, Rick, you're wrong.
Yeah, it's like, no, Rick believes this, and now we all have to go by it.
Or, oh, two, I thought everybody with the same last name was related.
Absolutely.
Yeah, why wouldn't?
And they knew famous people.
Me and Michael Jordan.
But he told me, he would like, he was dying on the sale, and I think it was like
Tom Selleck and Gutenberg that were switched.
And I'm like, this is Tom Selleck.
This isn't Steve Gutenberg.
And he's like, well, his names above it.
And I'm like, you're wrong.
I don't know.
But no internet.
I couldn't Google it.
Yeah, that's like a complicated.
That's where you get into SAG ruling of like who gets first billing.
But then they don't have that photo done.
That's so weird.
You wanted to above your head for sure.
Yeah.
It makes the most sense.
But like the billing order is like all politics.
Yeah.
I just learned all that.
And then at the end when it says with or whatever or feature or whatever.
That's all.
negotiated shit. Yeah, that's the last person being like, my name needs to be the last one
in the credits and it's got to be like, and. Right, right. It's always like, well, they didn't
mention Gene Hackman yet. Ah, and. Can you imagine being that way? And introducing Gene Hackman.
You got to say introducing again. Reintroducing. Reintroducing. And reminding you about
some of you might only be meeting him for the first time. Gene Hackman. And blessing your day
with. How come it's only
and with and introduce him? There should
be a bunch of them. Yeah. And oh shit.
Featuring. Oh, shit. We got.
Gene Hackman. Stop traffic.
Yes, it really is.
Dot, dot, dot.
Wendy the Snapple lady.
I forgot about all that.
She's on the only fans.
No, she's on the only. Did you know?
Another Google.
She's popping the top. And he goes,
She's got facts tattooed under her teeth.
Oh, the Echidna's the only
people that lays egg.
More water in a tomato than a watermelon.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, Gutenberg, dude.
What's your favorite Gutenberg picture?
Police Academy.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Do you know those were Bill Clinton's favorite movies, too?
Like that specific that...
Yes, that makes sense.
Because they have a history of all the movies
that were screened in the White House.
Really?
So it's a fun rabbit hole to go down.
JFK who saw the most movies
because Jackie O was like a hipster.
Yeah.
And I think he also watched Marilyn Monroe movies in that White House.
But he would also like...
Just get ready.
But Clinton famously had like all of the police academies
because he said Chelsea had never seen them
many wanted to show them to their favorite movies.
In the White House? What got I
do with my daughter?
I'm the president of the
leader of the free world. I'm like,
how do I connect to my daughter? Hold on, Chelsea.
What the fuck you just say?
You've never seen one of them?
Citizens on patrol. I understand if you haven't seen
the recent ones, but you haven't seen the first
one. Did you know that you had a decent
bill on you? No, just nothing
ventured, nothing gained. That was really good.
Yeah, I was impressed. I'm here for it.
Those are great fucking movies.
It's perfect.
It's like the perfect 80s movies.
Got a lady with huge boobs.
It's all fun.
Guy named Hightower.
We'll be right back after a break.
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I'm literally just trying to finish my list.
David's just trying to finish his list.
So I keep looking at my,
there's not as many as I thought.
You were caping for Hard Steve, so.
I know, I was, I'm a need of you.
You were caping for Hard Steve.
David's out there like, listen,
hard Steve's a good guy.
You guys are so mad at Hard Steve all this time.
I heard David was caping for Hard Steve.
I mean, he was looking for heroin.
John's time for, right?
John's time for Harry?
Yeah, I did two.
I did two. I did two. I did two.
I did two and three.
Yeah, I did two and three.
Now it's time for me to do my third.
This is a lot of my favorites were Stevens.
But fuck.
Even though I'm going to have to go with,
I didn't want to pick this one because it feels hack to choose.
But I do feel limited enough.
I'm going to have to go with Steve Martin.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. You would have got, I can't.
It's weird that he made it this long, honestly.
I can't believe I took Steve Nash before.
Steve Martin.
Steve Nash is great.
He is.
But, yeah, still a silly move.
Steve Martin, man.
Born standing out.
Three amigos.
Fuck, the jerk.
He's in other movies, too.
Yeah.
You know, it's weird?
And the third movie.
You know what's weird that I just got told, my girlfriend told me this.
I've done this several times.
I guess if I go out and get shit-faced, I come home and I'm like, let's watch Father
of the Bride.
It's a great.
It's a great movie movie.
She's like, you've done that like five times.
It's very comforting.
The house, it's a great movie house.
It's in Pasadenaena.
He owns a sneaker company?
I said it.
I was going to say it, though.
I knew the answer.
Knock it off, you two.
I'll shut this.
I'll turn this podcast around.
I don't like those kind of hands on me now.
You know what I like is Bowfinger.
Are we still doing?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, fuck.
That's a good one.
The dentist and Little Shop of Horrors, he murders that role.
Plains trains and automobiles.
And while we're, if I have to be fully honest, I do believe my blue heaven is my favorite Steve.
You know what I found out?
I was obsessed with that when I was in.
So, I don't know.
I don't.
I don't know if this is a theory or truth.
You ever see a leap of faith?
I got on doing through the banjo music.
I found out that my blue heaven.
We're not in today.
We're a comedian.
We're right backwards from there.
My Blue Heaven is supposed to be, what's his name from Goodfellas after Witsick?
So Goodfellas is pre-wit-Sek.
Henry Hill?
And my Blue Heaven is Henry Hill after Wittsack.
I found out, now that could be a theory.
And if it is, it's a great one.
Or it's like an actual, like, you know, inspiration for the movie.
I'm not sure which it is, but either way I like it.
And if it's one of those, it's a great one.
It's very fun theory.
I kind of want it to be a theory more than anything.
Sirens.
Peng Sirens, bro.
They're going crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You'd be like this for the rest of the picks?
No, what do I do?
I'm wearing a shirt with a baby elephant on us.
So don't come at me like that.
I saw this baby elephant.
I'm wearing a shirt that I got at the Wutan concert and I don't love.
I got this shirt at the Oregon Zoo.
I saw a baby elephant.
I bought the shirt to commemorate.
I saw the baby elephant too.
Yeah, I saw more recently.
Pretty cool, dude.
I know Final Jeopardy most of the time.
I know what?
I would say probably 80% of the time, all right?
Knock it off, you two.
Step to me.
Fucking Tunisia.
This is how we flirt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steve Martin, man.
We're going to hard suck after this, dude.
We're going to the karate bar and we're going to hard Steve in the bathroom.
There would be some hard steves at the karate bar for sure.
Yeah, I think there's some hard steves going on.
Steve Martin's great, but it's, you're right.
It's like, what do we say about it?
But what a wonderful pick.
Time for my third pick.
All right.
I do not fiddle with my balls a lot.
Can't leave without this.
Plan trains and automobiles.
I want a fucking car with a fucking steering wheel and four fucking seats.
How can I help you?
Start by wiping that dumbass fucking smile off your fucking face.
It's so good.
I remember my mom telling me about that when I was a kid and she's like, I love this movie.
I want you to see this movie, but I don't want you to watch it just yet.
Like, I, you know, she really had a problem with that scene.
Can I get away with?
We're doing Steve's only.
It better be a Steve.
It's a Steve.
Rick Steves.
No, because, come on.
I have them right here.
I don't think that's a Steve.
It's actually not because it is a Steve.
It's a Steve's.
No, because it's Rick Steves, his last name is.
Steves.
Oh, it is.
But it's Steve's, not Steve.
But we are, but to be fair, because I was ready to make this case myself, we are
drafting steves we're going hard steve we are drafting steves we haven't drafted steves and
steves steves scuttonberg that sounds like a wreck out of fucking something in an italian restaurant
attorneys general yeah yeah all have a plate of steves gutenberg
isaac you say no i don't think so okay because we're going hard steves all right i didn't
nothing you know i think quick aside where we talked about steve irwin what he did for uh nature
Rick Steves could use a little credit as being the sort of like dorky Bourdain.
Yeah, Dorky Bordane.
But he's also a big-time pot smoker.
PNW guy.
Yeah, PNW guy.
Yeah, Washington.
Big, big pot smoker.
Yeah.
And just big, like, like doing kind of his gentle pushback against, like, the fascism kind
of stuff.
He's, like, emotionally liberal.
Yes.
Not political, but he's like, everyone's my brother.
You just believes in, like, the world.
He has an episode where he, like, goes.
to Iran, right? And just shows like, there are wonderful people here, living here, like,
and stuff like that. They're not their government. He has the political beliefs or the beliefs
of someone who's traveled the world. The moment you travel the world, you really start to
hate people less. Yeah. The second you leave your fucking hometown, truly, you second you sit
next to someone in a completely different garb than you're familiar with, the second you go to a place
where everyone, you're the one who looks different, everything changes for you.
Yeah, like Silver Lake.
Iceman
I don't understand your culture, Isaac
But I appreciate it
Yeah, Rick Steve's off
His book's fucking ripped too
They're awesome
They're like very good
But I can't pick Rick Steve's
So I am going to take
Zahn
Oh fuck
That was you
That was my door
I really thought I'd get Zon.
I thought I could get Zon one, dude.
Yeah. Steve Zon.
Kind of good in everything he does.
Always happy when he shows up.
Yeah.
Always happy.
Like, oh, yeah.
He is funny, too.
And he also settled into like a hot guy now.
I didn't think that was going to happen.
Yeah.
Hot late guy is I'm banking my whole career.
I need that.
I really need that to happen.
I'm really hoping that when I hit 50, I'm more attractive so much.
I feel like.
Like by the time I'm 50, there's going to be a pill to take to get buff.
Yeah, well, there is.
There, it's not a pill yet.
It's just a shot.
Yeah.
But that, that's straight up male privilege is that, like, we get to be, like, you get accidentally hot when you're 50.
Like, all times people are like salt and pepper in your beard.
I love that.
I'm like, oh, are you kidding?
I, like, in the mirror.
I think I should blow my head.
Right.
You like that?
Because I see death.
It is.
You do get more.
I feel like people are getting more open to it.
You saw Jamie Lee Curtis going nuts right now.
Oh, she's got him out.
got them out.
Here's the thing.
We all always knew.
We always knew.
Everybody's always new.
Trading places.
Trading places.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, they've been documented.
Shenzie fucking gooners, you losers?
Shelf.
Titties in comedies was like my foray into sex as a kid.
Oh, 40s.
I'm watching a comedy, mom.
It was really one of the highlights of the 80s and 90s.
I mean, Police Academy.
They were all over the place again.
Just somebody.
All right, let's have a girl run across the beach now for no reason.
I feel like...
I'm poons who just have titties for no reason.
I feel like it ended with, like, American Pie was the end of, like...
Yeah, with her boobs in the movies.
Yeah.
Yeah, were there boobs in the hangover?
There were balls and dick.
I don't think there were any boobs.
There were.
Was Heather Graham's boo?
No.
No.
That's killing...
That's killing me softly a movie nobody's ever seen.
Yeah, I don't need it.
The photo montage at the end, I think, as Zach's face on a breast.
Yeah.
There were boobs and wedding crashers at the beginning montage.
Oh, the great move montage in the beginning.
Yeah.
I remember being in the movies, like, this movie's going to be great.
Yeah.
I could close my eyes and, like, draw tits from, like, 12 different, like, comedy movies from my childhood.
Yeah, that was.
Like, a savant, like, yeah, okay.
That was how you saw him because it wasn't, like, I couldn't, my mom wasn't letting me watch basic instinct.
Right, right.
You know what I'm saying?
But you can get away with throwing this, like, whatever.
Sliver was another pretty buck one from that moment in time.
Yes.
That was, like, the poor man's basic instinct.
You're like, but.
You called it out earlier when it said, like, this movie.
features nudity would be like in the beginning of the HBO thing and then you would just be like
stroking it for the whole movie until you see a guy's ass for like one minute and you're like
no I needed titties yeah it's still one of my favorite bits I don't know if my wife loves it
but if we if we see the end I'm like hell yeah and I'll just like over a high five she's usually
pretty cool about it she's all right pretty cool yeah I think a lot of girls would be like
fucking knock it off dude you're dumb
married.
Don't be dumb.
We're married.
But Zon's been getting it on since 1990.
Zon's been getting it on.
He's been getting it on.
He's been getting it on.
I feel like briefly him and his wife
opened up a
upstate New York
like theater, like a small like
and I'm like when you hear shit like that
you're like this dude's living the fucking dream.
Wouldn't that be the fucking dream?
I could see it being like Christina Ritchie or something.
Who's he married to?
Steve Zon is married to.
It can't be.
Oprah.
It's nothing.
Talk about heavy.
Talk about big naturals.
I'm Steve Zon Winfrey.
Robin Peterman.
Robin Peterman.
Author.
Okay.
Author.
They're like a trendy or a hipstery upstate couple like fucking listen to records.
Oh, yeah.
Make their own coffee, like spend all morning making coffee.
Just wearing expensive denim jackets.
Oh, hell.
Yeah.
They kind of smell bad.
Feeling autumn on the wind.
I need that life.
need that. I need to be an old hot guy who lives
upstate. We never feel autumn on the wind here.
Almost never. In January. Up north,
I do. Well, yeah, you live in Oregon. God's
God's personal treasure check.
Sean?
Oregon. That's where God keeps all
his different assorted dildos.
His prostheses.
Bandilier. His skin-colored penis that you got on the planet.
They're all up there, dude. That's what's
in crater. Forget if that was on air or off air.
I think it was on air. I hope so.
It was on air, dude.
It gets confusing, though, because as we know, I can't speak to every race,
but a lot of white guys' dicks, completely different color than the rest of their body.
Yeah, yeah, really.
That was a wild thing about porn where you're like...
Hard to keep track on the bandelier of like, who's this one wrong to?
Yeah, it really freaks me out.
Yeah, it is nuts.
It seems like an unfortunate.
Yeah, and it feels like, I hope, why didn't you make my whole body this light purple?
Yeah.
Lavender
Why doesn't your whole body look like
You've been underwater for a long time
Looks like an axolotle
You're swimming around the lake
Do you find my dick in a tide pool?
What is this?
Sean,
have of your third and fourth picks
Steve Carrell
Okay, yeah
Oh shit
Yeah
Third pick Steve Carrell
Solid
Solid
Solid
You love Dan in real life
Helping me out
I didn't mind Dan in real life.
That was an intellectual one, right?
He wasn't like slapsticky in that.
I never saw that.
He was a deadbeat stepdad, I think.
No, no, no, no, no.
What am I thinking of?
That's not Dan in real life.
You're the one with Ryan Gosling.
That's not bad.
Crazy stupid.
Yeah, you're well.
No, that's not what I was thinking of,
but that movie's amazing.
A little bit sunshine?
A little bit sunshine.
Beautiful boy?
No, he tried to kill himself in that.
No, I think he's like the way, way back or something.
There's a movie where I think he's like,
an aggressively mean dad.
That's the way, way back about like the summer
vacation. It's in referencing the
full back seat. Sorry if it's not
Steve Carrell that I'm thinking of. Anyway,
well, yes. And speaking of dudes
who got hot as they got older.
Like, Correll was always like kind of good looking.
Yeah. But he really harnished it.
The Silver Fox really hit for you.
He really harnished it. The gray looks good on him.
It was almost like Michael Fox he couldn't get
or Michael Scott he couldn't get there quite.
Right, right. He wasn't allowed to.
And then he just like, his glow up is. Once he
Michael Scott, he's got fucking 25 million
under his belt. He's like, I'm allowed
to be fucking a hot man. Yeah, he opens it up.
Yeah, yeah. He opens it up. I'll get on test.
I'll get my fucking monocidil going.
Yeah. He opened up the pit,
dude. Yeah. I tried to love
someone. Correll is a
fucking... 40-year-old virgin, too. I mean, just
they're so funny. So funny. I mean,
the American off, calling it the American
office feels like a lie at this point.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're like
rebooting that. You know, they're spinning off
that. They've made
mock of shows that ripped that off
It's still the big
It's still like one of the most washed shows
It made mockumentary the standard for comedy
Yeah, right
It's like everyone's like well it's actually easier
You know
We just have Quinta looking camera
If they can look at the camera
And that's not an error
Then great makes our job a lot easier
Also for what it's worth
Every single person I know
That's ever worked on the office
Talks about Corel is like a fucking legend
Like not only is absolutely funny
But like no questions asked
about having to be in the background of your shot.
No questions asked about riffing
with you in your thing.
He's just an absolute fucking pro.
Those are things that people don't think about that
there are actors who will be like, well,
no, I'm not going to be in those shots. I don't need to be in that
shot. I'm leaving. What am I filing papers for
if they're just talking about Krasinski?
And the big shit about the office is
because they do all those long shots. It's like,
yes, no, Ellie Kemper, you have to
stay at this computer for this whole day
that you don't even talk. But you're just
in the background of this shot, so you have to be...
I don't know, I wouldn't give a shot.
I'd be like, hell yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's what we call an easy day.
You're like two years in.
No, no, you get over that shit back.
You get over that shit fast.
In year three, you're like, you really need me at the fucking computer.
I can be dropping heat in my trailing.
No, Sean would be in there freestyling.
Yeah.
Bars.
I'm going crazy.
I don't do the ABCs in the background time.
The show's that hit, I got Young Metro in there.
Young Metro booming
Why are we doing any of this
If it's not to wrap
Your writer just keeps going up and up
Every year
As you keep adding people
To your hip-hop entourage
I'm like
Yeah, he needs alchemists
For the year
Fondworth Bentley
I swear to God
I saw Sean
In Scott Storch in a Jersey Mike
I don't know
Shoes off
Yeah
How you got to think, man
Fourth pick
Steve Kurt
bro.
Okay.
Oh, being punched by Michael Jordan.
Tell us why you like Kerr.
He was a bull.
He's a dope coach.
Michael Jordan punched him.
Steve's are getting thin.
Yeah, there you got.
Yeah, that's the truth.
We're running out of Steve's.
I had one other one that I think I'll be able to get.
Kerr.
That I thought, would one of you, you could say, was Kerr going to be out there?
No.
No.
Not once I got Nash.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I've always like Steve Kerr's, he's fine.
He's fine of the Bulls.
That was when I was into basketball.
So I knew him from that.
Real good coach, seems like a good guy.
His dad was a professor at the American University in Lebanon.
In Lebanon, I was going to say, and was murdered.
Murdered.
I know.
That's fucking crazy.
I only, why do I know, I don't know a lot about sports.
Was that in that doc?
Why do we all know that?
It must have been, the last dance.
It had to be.
Because I don't know shit about sports.
So whenever I know something about sports, I'm like, what movie is this?
Four idiot dudes, we're talking about Dix for 45 minutes.
How do we know that smart thing about Steve?
Which Nazi didn't know that that was that?
the answer.
And that's what got him shot.
By one of the platoon members.
In glorious bathroom.
Named the DiMaggio brothers.
Yeah.
All right, Kerr.
Time for my pick.
All right.
I'm going jobs, dude.
Ugh.
Not, you know, maybe not the best guy, but did bring us many of apples.
You want to talk about something happened in our lifetime.
Jobs, dude.
That's crazy.
what happened with computers.
Right.
Also the idea like, yeah, he sucks,
but if we're ranking, if we're drafting Steve.
Yeah.
Yeah, you got a, he's a fucking big.
And inherently, he's got a bummer name.
So, you know, Steve's.
Yeah, Steve.
Oh, yeah.
Steve works, dude.
And I got Zahn already to take care of vibes.
My vibes have a pretty high floor right now.
I need someone on the business.
I need someone on the business end of things.
I mean, like, just the things he brought us,
like that computer, the iPhone, you know, the,
The iconic style
All that stuff
How a guy should dress
Jobs, dude
Steve Jobs
Also a good
Fastbender performance
Yeah
Fastbender knows what time it is
He doesn't
You don't get a lot of misses
With Fastbender
Who was the other one?
Seth Rogan
Oh,
Oh, Ashton Cutcher
Coucher was that
Was that movie called Jobs?
Swing and a Miss Playboy
It was called Steve Jobs
One of them was called Jobs
One was called Steve Jobs
The Danny Boyle one is Jobs
Yeah
That's the one with Fastbender
Coucher
just keep not acting man
he's like yeah he except for sticking up for
Danny Masterson I think he was like a good dude
wasn't he he's like a trillionaire from being like
an angel investor and stuff for me oh is that what it was
he's like a GoPro well he was a he was a shark for an episode
too on Shark Tank that's how you know he's got a little bit of cash
laying around I've been misinformed
well there's also this there's also that doesn't mean he's a bad guy
but there's that crazy Ashen Coucher story that
and I'm out over my ski
on this reference.
No, you said earlier.
This is a fact.
You just wanted to hide behind.
He went to go pick up a girl for a date and she had been murdered.
Oh, this is real.
Yeah, I heard this too.
And he saw her and didn't report it right away and like, you know, protected himself first.
And there's like, it's a little dicey as to what's exactly going on there.
I didn't hear that.
We've heard that.
That's what we've heard.
Yeah.
That's what we've heard.
Cutch don't kill me.
We don't know that that's a fact.
I wish I could throw out some more facts to stall
Like as I rapidly Google Steve
I'm just over here getting bummed out
What's that?
No he his girlfriend at the time
Was murdered by a serial killer
Who was who has since been sentenced to death
Whoa
That's what the coach
You get the horns
Yeah
Stayed
Oh man that wasn't funny
Well
What are we supposed to do
Well you didn't see how she was killed
It actually is pretty funny when you see it.
It was a Pratt fall.
He was the Pratt Fall murderer.
It's kind of a Chevy Chase vibe.
This is wild.
He would set up a breakaway table and push you through it.
So, Picardy, it's been a while.
Oh, yeah, you're drinking rum tonight.
A little bit of what's on?
He's a rum guy.
Don't do, no, don't, don't, don't, don't play.
You're drinking rum tonight, dude.
Throw it on you and light a match.
You keep talking to me like that.
See what happens.
It's not 151.
Yeah, throw it on you and start freestyling.
The real, drop real heat on this.
It's getting hot in here, no Nellie.
You need to change your pants.
You're smelly.
Oh, man.
I met Nellie on the set of Wild and Out, and I had a cool sentence.
I haven't heard somebody say Wild and Out.
I know.
Wild and Wild.
Trust me, I wish I had a handful more credits.
You really pronounced the D, the apostrophe, and the end.
I think as the resident one white guy in my season, I think I had to say it.
I always liked the show.
I was always interested.
I thought it was,
fun. You didn't have a good time? I had an absolute
great time on that show. It was
union, which not, because
Nick Cannon fought for it to be union.
And I got health insurance because of
fucking wild and out residuals in the pandemic when shit
hit the fan. So I'm always going to have respect
for him. I got to smoke a blunt with Erica
Badoo. All this really
fucking cool. Do she seem like a witch for real?
Yes, dude. I fucking knew it.
I felt like it was like a witch of a
culture I don't know yet.
Yeah. A lot of people have said that
She might be weird.
Yeah, she was such good vibes.
But also, Nellie was on, and it was a game called Plead the Fifth,
where you had to ask a question that would...
I was it spelled.
Oh, I said it right.
Is there another option to be involved?
It was spelled FIF.
Just to be honest, that's the way DJ D. Rec pronounce it.
And you were supposed to get the person to embarrass them to plead the fifth,
to say they won't answer the question.
So I said to, and I'm going to quote my own joke.
First of all, I came out and said,
I'm glad to see the cut on your face healed.
And I got a little bit of a pop.
You got to say that to Nellie.
I got to say that to Nellie.
And then I said, when did you think you sold out more when you did a duet with Lance Bass or with the Honeynut Cheerios B?
And the crowd.
He laughed.
He did not laugh.
Oh, no.
He went fully like defensive.
Like, oh, the bullies being bullied.
And he's like, where'd you get that fucking haircut and just started going into like fat white guy shit that didn't read it all?
And then after it was just like, yeah.
you are one funny motherfucker
He said that to you
He realized how bad he must have looked
Like the whole thing
It was like I gotta like get some traction back
That's true
Because I've always loved Nellie
He always seems like one of those guys
You could do anything
I think he's come around
Because he was all
Wasn't he in like the longest yard remake or something?
Yeah
He used to fuck people up at Rock and Jock
Oh yeah
He's a fucking star
He was a great baseball player
He could have been amazing baseball player
Yeah he was like
He's like one of those guys
Who could just do it all
Why they haven't brought back
Rock and Jock?
and jock is so far beyond me.
I don't know.
It is such a good fun idea.
I'm laughing because you're so earnest.
It's funny.
The players are now like $50 to $70 million investments.
And if they bust an Achilles,
throwing a football from a bark-a-lander with wheels on it.
Focus more on the rock and less on the jock.
All right.
So nobody wants to get crossed up by Queen Latifah again.
Have you seen that clip?
I can name two guys on this couch you want to get crossed up by Queen.
Let's go.
That's gross.
Yeah, I think I'd like to be equalized.
Bringing down the house.
You're not T-I-T-I-T-T-Y.
You're not a bitch.
That wasn't as good.
Man.
Gabriel, it's your fourth pick?
I'm fucking out in the weeds here, brother.
Me too.
It's bad.
It's bad now.
I'm going to have to go with, due to my love,
of the trip movie series.
Oh, yes, dude.
I like Alan Partridge, too,
but I'm more of a diehard trip guy.
I'm going to go with Steve Coogan.
Yeah, I'm a big trip guy.
Those movies are perfect.
The Michael Kane, man.
It just brought that to the surface.
And you don't do the broken voice.
I didn't do it's broken voice.
You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.
It's a bit more up here, isn't it?
Yeah, when I made a travel show with my buddy Adam Pally.
And we were fully inspired by that show to be like,
by those movies be like
we can go show the restaurants
but we don't have to show closeups
to the food we can just do bits
and make it about the travel element
for real because that that series
that's so I'm so jealous of like British people
with that fact that they could even
that gets made you know what I mean
and they yeah it's just so fun
and I never really knew
was it was it scripted
or was it just them going to try and food
and really just messing around
I think they had like probably an outline
for like narrative beats
but then they were like
when we sit down here eventually mention that like you're having issues with at home
or whatever but then just going on they really were just trying food in places or like those
were sets like that i mean i think they were real locations i think they were going to real restaurants
i'm going to watch one of them tonight they're all good yeah they're all good the last one's in
spain yeah yeah yeah greece italy spain steve kugan definitely should have picked before kirk
now that i hear you say yeah sorry that was crazy i mean coached wars several
That was a deep, you know,
I was just happy to think of one at that point.
I got to fucking land this.
Oh, my kerpologies.
All kerpologies.
David, time for your fourth and then your final pick.
We'll do a lightning round.
Hot in, Kurt in.
Do you think he ever did that?
So hot and cur.
So hot and cur, yeah.
And then, like, Seth Curry took it.
Yeah.
Oh, oh.
Steve.
Seth?
Seth?
Stephon?
No.
Hey, Steph, you don't want to tear your ACL later, do you?
Then I'd stop saying that.
Career enthusiasm?
Sure.
I said Kerr walking.
Okay.
Can I take...
Probably not.
Finn Urkel.
Yeah.
I would say yeah.
I think that's amazing and that should have gone soon.
He was huge.
Fuck, dude.
He was huge.
God, I didn't think about it.
I tried all day to.
think of fictional steves i cannot
he was a robot he's got an aunt
and al tuna
i didn't know that didn't he that's one of his jokes
like didn't he have a cousin an al tuner or an aunt and al tunna
maybe he was uh dating that really hot dead lady
hold on he got he would uh he had a stephan
orkel of course his alternate he also had uh
he drank bruce juice and learned karate in one episode
that was tying into a lot of previous conversations i remember that tgif because
i was hyped for it that whole
week. I remember that week where they were doing the promos where they're like, Friday night, Steve
turns into Bruce Lee. And I was like, oh my God, this is going to be the best day of my life. And I
remember when he was Bruce Lee because he's like doing Bruce Lee shit. And at one point, he picks up
some nuts off the table and he goes, cashews, my favorite. I was like, this guy's a genius.
He was. Jaliel. Jal to do anything. He had an aunt Una who lived in Al-Tuna.
And Una Urkel
Yeah, Una Urkel
Unah Erkel
And his sister
Or his cousin
Myrtle Urkel
Myrtle Urkel
And Stifan Rakel
Who you don't get
I hated that
Too I forgot
I feel like
I hate what that means
Yeah
It was like the only way
He could get Laura is
And then Laura
This jerk
What a what an asshole
Was like yeah
Just stay Stefan forever
And we can get married
Terrible lesson
Get out of you
Terrible lesson
Get out of you.
You know it came directly from Joliel White himself.
That's what I was about to say.
I feel like the behind the scenes is Joliel White being like,
I'm getting fucking roasted at these Hollywood parties.
Yo, you got to let me get some pussy.
They need to know.
They need to know that I got it in.
God to know I'm hot.
Yeah.
I talk to my friend Dustin Diamond.
I see what's happening to him.
Yeah, I can't walk down that path.
Don't screech me.
Don't screech me.
Teach me.
Hammer don't screech me.
Don't screech me, teach me.
If they had had a machine that he could have gone into and been scratched.
Yeah.
he might be still with us.
I don't know if there was a scratch
and dust and diamond
the way there was a Stefan.
When there was a Stefan on Kelly.
You don't think he.
Scratch.
Scratch sounds like
fuck too though.
He's just a different kind of.
It's just a tweaker.
He's like an active method
that goes to Bayside.
Enlightening round for the final
for the final picks.
Your fifth pick.
Wasniak.
Was did?
Oh, man.
All right.
We got both.
Oh, man.
But the hitter.
off the board. Was Waz
your go-to? No, I had
I had one
fictitious Steve that I was
sitting on, not knowing
I was going to blow it out in the fifth round. Glad you
broke this barrier with Steve Erkel. I'm going to go with
Steve Zizu. Oh, yeah.
He was on the list that I was just looking at.
I'm not even going to
say my list like that. I'm not going to
play you guys out.
I'm going to go with
the original host of the Tonight Show, Steve Allen.
Ooh, okay.
I like to hear that.
I like to hear that.
Not a lot of legendary athletes named Steve, right?
Well, there's a bit of...
I got one on my team.
Steve Young.
Steve Francis, Steve Young.
Yeah, yeah.
Those are the steves I'm thinking.
I ain't saying to pick it, but Steve Largent was another one.
Steve Atwater.
Steve Atwater.
Steve Young, Steve, wouldn't they...
The Seahawks punter?
No, the receiver.
He's a receiver.
He's a receiver.
He's his name.
I thought Largent had a different first name.
Steve Largent.
Oh.
Now you're so, man.
Can we redo the, from the beginning?
Yeah, I got to pick Largen's first name.
I'm going to save you for the white receiver draft.
Welcome.
The white.
Please have me back.
Please have me back for the under 100 yards.
The white receiver dress.
We're trying to grow the show.
I got Ed McCaffrey.
We'd open up to a white.
Ed McCaffrey would be my number one.
Yes, my number one for sure.
Don Bibi.
You know, just a big.
Oh, there's some fucking good ones.
Yeah.
Say them.
Huh?
Say them.
I'm already out.
Does Julian Edelman count?
Julian Edelman?
You've got a lot of you sleep.
Yeah, yeah.
The guy.
Oh, man, if my dad was still alive, he'd be able to rattle off 10 of the toughest white football players.
Okay.
He seemed to always know all those guys' names.
But we can't do white cornerbacks, though.
That's not really.
That's a one person draft.
I don't think so.
Oh, man, I'm blanking on white racters.
I still got to go.
He's the guy who's on the Rams.
Cooper Cuff.
Oh, Cooper Cup.
I remember him of Hard Knocks a few years ago.
Cooper Cup.
Cooper Cup.
Hard Knox is good, by the way, the Buffalo one.
Oh, yeah, I'm two episodes in.
I'm enjoying it thoroughly.
Hard Knox is the best.
It makes you love bad teams.
I think the show has fallen off in the last three years
because they stopped following the players
that were, you were wondering if they were getting cut or not.
Because that used to be the dream for me
because then I would be watching week 12
and I'd be like, oh, Green Bay has the guy from who's the tight end
of the, oh, fuck, that's all.
But now I don't, I used to love the drama
following these like 21 year olds like it's the most exciting part yeah and that and i'm i love i love
the bills they're one of my other favorite team so it's fun to watch them the show is so well made
such interesting people so i always love it but it used to i think used to be stronger when it really
followed the young kids yes i think so too yeah yeah i just found out josh allen's married to haley steinfeld
and i'm like where they're going to get her on this show because that would be tight they're trying i bet you
Well, do you remember last year when they...
What? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. She was on with her husband.
Remember last year when they brought out, what's his name, Sabretooth, who does the voiceover for it all?
Leaves Shriver.
They bring Leaves Shriver out and, like, all these, like, 21-year-old kids who have no idea of weeks.
And they're like, he's the voice.
They're like, oh, sick, well.
You're the voice of God.
I remember a lot of people being like...
He does.
God's here.
He does crush that shit, though.
Yes, he's the best.
See, Bosch? What's his show? He had that show
where he was... Was he Bosch the show?
He was in Glendale. He was... Oh, Ray Donovan.
Ray Donovan. I don't know the difference between those two shows.
Ray Donovan's good.
There's not much difference. No.
But in Bosch, his first name is Aronimus.
No, it's not. Is it really?
Aronimus Bosch?
Yep, like the famous painting.
He's in the screen movies. He's Cottonweary.
We're not talking about that.
Steve Olson. He's an old pro skateboarder.
Skated for shorties back in the day.
Who is your fifth, Steve?
Steve Allen.
Okay, tonight show.
And then yours is?
I'm doing Steve Olson from Shorties.
If you ever, if you were skating in like the late 90s, early 2000s, mid-90s to early 2000, Steve Olson, his dad is also named Steve Olson, who's another famous skateboarder from like the 70s.
But I'm taking the one from the 90s who's on foundation and Shorties.
And yeah, I'm just trying to work a skateboarder in there.
I didn't think I was going to be able to do it.
And I just thought of Steve Olson.
Oh, hell yeah.
Ill dude.
Had a babe.
That's considered ill communication.
what I can
Picardy communication
That's right out of the rope diaries
That's what he's freestyling him do
Preestyle of that's a white guy
rapper name for sure
Ill communication
It's a Beasty Boys album
Yeah it's a Beasty Boys cover band
Yeah is it?
No I mean it sounds like the right thing
It's a Beasy Boys album for sure
It is an album for sure
There's an album called it
I didn't even know
Licensed to Ill and Ill Communications
It's the one where they're like the news
Holden the Fast Food Drive Through
Yeah
At Watervilleville
full of Beastie Boys' lore.
Really?
Yeah, we're in the neighborhood I live in.
That's where they started?
Studio there.
No, they're from New York.
Oh, yeah.
Sure they are.
Yeah, yeah.
Jew York.
No, sleep till the two.
This doesn't hit, really.
Sleep to Glendale.
That's one of those things where I'm like,
why did I just say that?
No, they're not from Atwater Village.
Dickhead.
That's where Paul's.
boutiques.
Right there on Hyperion.
That does it.
Isaac, do you have a Steve?
The billionaire owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, Steve Balmer.
Oh, there you go.
A lot of tech steves.
A lot of tech steves.
A lot of tech steves.
I was also going to take the only Asian Steve that's famous, Steve Aoki.
That was going to beat my lap before I was Steve Olson.
I think his dad's cooler.
The Benihana guy.
His dad is a Benihana guy?
This is the first time hearing of this lore.
Isn't he also like some kind of like daredevil, his dad?
Like he got to do like a lot of weird shit.
Well, his dad is the guy in Wolf of Wall Street.
Right.
It is really him.
Oh, really?
He got caught up in those Jordan Belfort and the penny.
Yeah, his dad, right.
His dad's a wild guy.
Aoki is a wild name.
I feel like I'd be a little bucker if my name was Sean Aoki.
Dude, Rocky Aoki?
His name was Rocky Aoki.
Okay, okay.
Hold on.
Japanese born American.
Shut the.
Get your little dick beater out of my face
A Japanese American restaurant tour
Professional offshore power boat racer
And amateur wrestler
Oh my dog, Rocky's nuts
Wow
Men used to have to be Renaissance men
Yes
You used to have to be an off
Wait who's an onshore power boat racer
Yeah
Hold on to watch
Are this rivers and lakes
And he's in ocean
Technically me I have some RC boats
Yeah he'll tell you
to stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to.
A lot of people
don't know that was inspired by Rocky Aoki.
Hold on. In August,
1973,
Yoki launched Genesis, a soft core
pornographic men's magazine with two
centerfolds each issue.
My man. Two centerfold. Imagine
that's the fucking brain. That's cocaine thinking.
You know what would be killer?
No, no, no, no. No, no. He said,
what if we have two?
One blows off when you're accidentally opening
You need a backup on the boat
I heard he was out offshore power boat racing
The engine broke down
He was like well we're gonna die out here
And he said no
He unfolded both centerfold
Use them as a sail
And he brought them safely to shore
And that's where the song comes from
My angel is to centerfold
Andy was super hungry
He cooked some shrimp in front of everybody
On the hot engine
And that's where Benny Hanuk
And someone's like give me one
He goes well I can't pass it to you
How about
Now, I know we all probably felt this to be true, even though we didn't know factually.
Two things.
He died at the age of 69.
Of course, he started making money.
One of his first jobs in America was working seven days a week in an ice cream truck in Harlem.
Hell yeah.
Rocky Aoki.
That's how you get into power boating.
Harlem ice cream truck, man.
I would buy a chaco taco from a guy named Rocky in Harlem.
Absolutely.
Fuck yeah
The Rocco chaco
Are Chaco Tocco?
Yeah
A Rocco Chaco
Taco Taco
Oh yeah
He started braiding
on the show
Hold on
He just makes these at home
Rocky's Chucky Taki
He funded and crude
The Double Eagle V
The first balloon
To successfully
Cross the Pacific Ocean
Yes
This is what I'm saying
We gotta draft
Rocky Aoki
Just inject like hair
So that's four guys
Five each
That's 20 total
About 20 yeah
Four times five
A big per day
A couple
It only took 84 hours.
This is what I'm talking about.
Actors, millionaires, billionaires.
Let's see some fucking stunts besides dating a 26-year-old
or getting, putting your wife in the Bond movies because you own Amazon.
No, you're so right.
You're so right.
You're so right.
Do crazy shit with your money.
Do philanthropical stuff.
Do dumb stunts.
Fund something cool.
Because why do you have a billionaire?
Otherwise, why do you have a billion dollars to hang out with stand-up comedians?
That's fucking crazy.
You got hepatitis from a blood transfusion
after a 1979 speedboat crash under the Golden Gate Bridge.
Yeah, that's how you...
I got hepatitis under the Golden Gate Bridge.
Speedboat accident.
Yeah, that was speedboat.
Yeah, me too, bro.
The streets of Philadelphia.
Yeah, what was his name?
What sounds...
What's no one going to research?
He's the guy named Speedboat
who hung under
Irvin Speedboat Johnson.
One of his lesser-known nicknames.
Well, that's what they knew him as under the bridge.
You ever go to Speedboat Johnson movie theater?
He'll get you in and out of there like a robbery,
speedboat, man.
He knows what time it is.
You have another Rocky Oak Effect?
Well, no, there were rumors that he was in the 1960 Summer Olympics
representing Japan but that's not true
but you're a white dude
that's some racist shit
yeah for sure
for sure
no be the type of guy
that it's almost believable
you were in the Olympics in the 1960
because it wouldn't be crazy
right it wouldn't be crazy to hear that so like
live a life where people go
I think he was also in the Olympics
is that true yeah because like
Dolph Lungren was like one of those guys
like he fucking like low key
his life is insane you're like you could just keep
throwing shit on there like
and it's just such a
in a fucking amazing level.
It really is not that I wouldn't believe
about someone like Dolph Lunger
and I'd be like, of course.
Yeah, who's making that up?
He didn't hold the U.S. flyweight
wrestling title on 62, 63, and 64.
Rocky did?
Rocky Aoki.
Jesus.
I need a biopic.
I need a Rocky Eoki.
Yeah, we got to know what that kid.
His daughter was in one of the Fast and the Furious's.
Yeah.
What?
Michelle Rodriguez.
Devin Aoki.
That would be awesome.
That is so funny.
I just, anytime Fast and Furious comes up,
I'm obsessed with the idea that there's a word.
where they go to this big race
and it's called race wars
it's so awesome it's the most diverse
movie that exists but they do go
to race wars frequently
did we meet it no one ever
even brought it up but like isn't it weird
it's called race wars and there's like a lot of different races
I brought it up so much that I started my own
race war yeah we do
race wars at high planes every year where we all race
each other
you have a hat that says race wars on it
I do it says race wars 2021
Wait, Devin Aoki
in Too Fast, Too Furious.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
She's kind of, she's very in it too.
She's really fucking.
I'm about to tell Isaac, she's the Asian woman.
I'm so obvious.
She plays the Asian woman.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, thanks.
Super helpful, man.
His porno man ran for 40 years.
40 years of a poro?
Genesis.
Imagine your Genesis runs longer than the Sega system.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
More popular than the Bible.
How many poro mags got 40 years?
40-year porno mag good.
It's like that and black tail.
Those are the only two.
It's big ones.
Yeah.
Playboy, well, playboy, penthouse probably.
That's not porno.
Swank.
Club International.
Hustler's a porno mag, right?
Yeah.
Porno.
Hustler's a porno man.
Oh.
Hey, dad, me and my friends are having a sleepover.
Can you look this up online or something?
Hey, wake up.
Hustler's a porno mag, right?
You know we're Cherokee, right?
Hey, we're in big porno bags for your generation.
You're watching Ashina.
Wake up.
You know we're Cherokee, right?
You went to bed thinking you were pretty much Irish.
Turns out you're like 80% Cherokee or Lakota.
I'm different drunk tonight.
I drink tequila tonight.
So you're about 60% of Picardy.
I think it's a tribe.
If I drink whiskey, you're going to be Shoshone.
So watch your bag.
I don't understand that reference.
It's another tribe.
To recap, David, you went first.
You took Stone Cold Austin, Irwin, Gutenberg, Urkel, and Wozniak.
Gabrith, you took Bishemi, McQueen, Martin Coogan, Zissau.
I took Harvey Nash, Zon, Jobs, Allen.
Sean, you took Winwood, Perry, Karel, Kerr, and Olson.
That's pretty tight.
Good picks all around.
That's good steves.
We didn't leave a lot of steves on the bones.
There's not a lot of steves on the bone.
There's nothing left, man.
Aoki's the big loss.
Steve Rogers, Captain America.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
I don't like him, though.
I would have picked that.
Steve Rogers, also just a wimpy little twink from New York.
Yeah.
Depending on where he catches.
Is he from New York?
Yeah, he's a Brooklyn guy, right?
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, I did know that.
No, he's from Outwater Village.
Yeah, that's where Paul's boutique is.
No, sleep till Thanos's house.
House.
Welcome to Thanos's house.
Whoops, hefty after after.
When they go to retired.
They go to retired Thanos's cabin
He cut his head off
And you're like
He lives in a cabin
He killed a third of the universe
And he lives in a cabin
Yeah, I just wanted some peace man
Now you finally kick back
Finish my novel
What he's doing
You mentioned Steve Miller earlier
So Steve Miller there's one of them
Yeah the titular Steve Miller
Yeah
Another ton of other steves
We left out there dude
I think we scraped it
Yeah we did
I think we scraped the whole thing
If you have
If we left any steves on the board
Let us know
Hit us up at all fantasy podcast
Atgmail.com
Shout out to everyone on the AFE
Patreon where you can get auction drafts,
mailbag episodes, this or that
episodes, live episodes, all of that
stuff. Shout to everyone on the AFE
Shaslackety. Shout to everyone on the AFE
subreddit. Shout out to our
wonderful producer, Steve.
Steve.
What's Steve? What's Steve, dude?
No, pick a last name.
Pick a last name with all the stees are thrown around.
Try not to say.
What Steve is he?
Lee.
This is Steve Lee.
Steve K. Lee.
Or Isaac K. Steve, whichever way you want to play.
There you go.
Isaac K. Steve.
Isaac, Steve, the Steve man.
Shout to say Sue Carmel.
Shot to Frankie Ocean.
Shat to Sid the dude.
Shot to Hajie Beats.
And more important than all of that.
Tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy, Steve.
Shacuclac.
That was a hate gum podcast.
Thank you.