All Fantasy Everything - Summer Stuff from our Childhood (w/ Sean Jordan and David Gborie)

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

The good vibes family is back together! Ian, Sean and David draft their favorite summer activities from their childhood. The All Fantasy Everything Summer Tour is coming to a city near you! Find dates and tickets at headgum.com/live.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. welcome to another brand new episode how i looked right at you i'm like a cockroach that gets busted where i'm just like welcome to another brand new cockroach you yeah man uh to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is all wearing shorts right now. It's a nice fun day. We're all just wearing shorts. Is this what happens when I'm gone? Is this how you do it?

Where'd you come from? This is how you do it when I'm gone. It's how he does it. Oh my God. It's exactly how he does it. Oh my God. Thank God there's three of us. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is back from a month long trek across the motherfucking globe. Yeah, boy. And I'm so happy to be here with two of my best friends in the entire world.

Two of the best people I know. It is. Cheers to that. Cheers with our non-alcoholic beverages. Although we'll see what happens later tonight. It's a new day. I gotta. It is. Cheers to that. Cheers with our non-alcoholic beverages, although we'll see what happens later tonight. I gotta fucking work tomorrow. Oh, you do have to work tomorrow.

I'm doing that for you, Seattle. I'm working tomorrow for you. Yeah, so you better. Oh, wait. They will have come out. They will have. Thank you for coming out, Seattle. They will have defoed. As I worked on Sunday for you. Yeah. What time are you going to work on Sunday? Seven. No, eight.

Ooh, eight. Ooh, that does make drinking tonight seem like more of a long shot. Well, that's good. Maybe it's good. It's good because we will be probably. I, dude, if yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I think I'll get my fill coming up. We're not going to maybe drink after all of

the Midwest and East Coast dates, but Seattle and San Francisco. Seattle and San Francisco, a little kickoff. Seattle's the first one, and then San Francisco, San Francisco. San Francisco, San Francisco. No shade on Seattle, although we've done the date at this point. I don't really like Seattle. We tricked him.

San Francisco, that's the city I'm interested in. Washington, D.C., love it as well. Columbus, coming through. Did an interview for a paper in D.C. yesterday. Did you really? Two days ago. What did you tell him? What was it about?

Louis Farrakhan? Yeah, we talked. You knew Louis Farrakhan's paper? Yeah, it had nothing to do with this. Nice, okay. It's just an interview. If I wanted to talk to somebody about Farrakhan, you would be the first person.

Well, they tried to get political juggernaut Shane Torres on the horn but he couldn't be bothered he was busy working on his John Oliver packet he was letting Trump have it hard juggernaut did he not talk to you about dragging his name that's not dragging his name through the mud that's not doing that

he talked to me about it when I was in New York yeah listen I have to still be able to say fun stuff. That's fine. Now there are some things that I've said in the past that are not, and I'm not going to, I'm not going to regulate you. I'm just bringing it up to bring it up.

Hey, no. And I just bought it as a compliment. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How do you know?

What do you mean? Drag his name through. I called him a political juggernaut. They can feel your grin. They can feel it. They can feel it in your heart. No, I love Shane to pieces by his album. Established 1981.

Why are you making such intense eye contact with us now? Because it's, I kind of have to, what else am I going to do? Look at Sheed? Look at Sheed. Look at Sheed. Sheed is screaming at me. What a wild time to mention that we are in the Fortress of Solid Dudes. Yes, sir.

Recording live. I got back when did i get back thursday and then what day is it now saturday yeah hell yeah have you been sleeping the whole time i hope so i went to bed at 8 30 or like no i literally went to bed at like 9 15 last night yeah yeah about like you went to the armenian i went to this yeah i went there in the time it took you to walk to the armenian which listen it's very close it is very close you can see it it's right out the front door i had had two two and a half weed gummies earlier in the day earlier in the day and uh then we watched three episodes count them up of billions yeah we did straight just pow knocked him out chuck dude

fucking axe axe listen guys i I specifically got Showtime. Yeah. Four Billions. Yes. So I'm catching up. I can't wait. We will watch the next season of Billions together. Yeah.

I'll be caught up. I like it. It's so good. I like how. Incredibly watchable. I like how what's his name talks, Giamatti. Oh, yeah. Don't ever.

Don't ever kiss a cook on the mouth and then expect a Beef Wellington. They're Threat-A-Fours, dude. They're everywhere. That's all he talks about. Threat-A-Fours. Oh, I love it. Oh, you mean like when the U.S. stormed the beaches in Normandy that day. Like, what the fuck?

Who? It's like they got a Threat-A-Four person like, all right, man, we need you to come up with like nine okay references. I'm going to go off on you like Johnny Cougar on a guitar in the Meadowlands in 1981. But not Mellencamp. Johnny Cougar, Timothy Johnson, kid I grew up with who stabbed his mom. Yeah.

A Damien Lewis guy is mad British. But he plays like, I don't know. Like the fucking queen. Well, you're looking outside now. Someone just walked by. You know me.

I'm a little snoopy. Are you okay? I get, dude, I get snoopy when I'm. Jittery. When I worked here, like when I worked from home. Yeah. I used to walk around with my laptop and just stare out the window and be like, what the fuck are they doing out there? Just people living their life out there walking.

You're like Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace. I was a snoopy Little Devil. I don't know what that means. That's the name of your album, right? Snoopy Little Devil. Snoopy Little Devil. Snoopy Little Devil. Snoopy Little Devil.

Snoopy Little Devil. Oh, my God. Can we get you a shirt that says that in like balloon, like pink balloon letters? Yeah, I think I'm into that. Snoopy Little Devil. Snoopy Little Devil.

Wow. That also sounds like a British letters? Yeah, I think I'm into that. Snoopy little devil. That also sounds like a British dessert. Yeah, Snoopy little devil. Oh yeah, Damien Lewis, mad British. Oh yeah, mad British bro. I saw that dude at Gelson's once. He is cut and he's tall. You saw him at the grocery store?

Yeah, he eats man. We were shopping for the Super Bowl. Yeah, he eats. Motherfucker eats food. What do you think he eats? He doesn't eat like our food. Yeah, dude. Motherfucker eats food. He eats. What do you think he eats? He doesn't eat like our food. No, I don't know what they sell at Gelson's.

He's not eating chicken wings he made in an air fryer. I bet he's eating a lot of like seafood. Yeah. Like it's cooked for him. That's what I feel like shredded people eat is a lot of seafood. A lot of seafood. Like? And a lot of like chicken breast.

Yeah, skinless, boneless chicken breast. I feel like. Which is, I don't see the point. Probably a lot of fondant. Just huge piles of cake fondant. Oh, yeah. In different elaborate shapes. This dude,

Eddie Gosling, he used to have this joke where he's like, think about that 50 Cent song where he's like, I love it like a fat kid loves cake. He goes, I think it should be like a fat kid loves carrots. Because if you're fat and you love carrots, you must really love carrots. Same thing with like, if you're eating piles of fondant,

you must really work the fuck out. Also, to say that I love you like a fat kid loves cake, I don't feel like 50 Cent understands a complicated relationship a fat child has with cake. It fully doesn't get it. It's love, but it's hate. Yeah. You hate that you love it.

It's weird. It hates itself. It's a shame thing. It's ashamed of the love of the cake. That's not the love I want from a woman at all. No, not at all. I would never wish my love. It's I wish I didn't love cake.

Yeah. I wish I could get out of my fucking life. I would never wish my love of cake upon a woman. But you know his style. Anything to make you smile. That's true. And we're only humans. We make mistakes.

That's that kind of podcast. At the end of the day. We're only humans born to make mistakes. Is that a song? To make mistakes. Is that a song? We're only humans of flesh and blood are made. You guys don't remember that song?

No. Like in excess or something? It wasn't, but it was someone like that. Tears for Fears. Maybe. Everybody wants to kiss some girls. Kiss some girls. I've been really into kissing lately. I don't know what it means. Kissing rules.

And just talking about it. Talking about kissing? Yeah. It's summertime. Is that? Yeah. Summertime kissing. Summertime kissing.

Oh, man. If a daddy's poor, just do what you feel. You know that song? Yeah. Is that from Gary? Yeah, one of the more fucked up lyrics. Everybody's kissing, having fun. Isn't that how that song is?

If a daddy's rich, then give her a kiss. If a daddy's poor, then you can still kiss, because you're kissing. It's a summer, you got kissing on your mind. It's so, when you think about that scene in wedding crashers, when him and Rachel, when Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams are on the bike ride, they listen to that song.

Then they fuck on the beach. Then they go back and she has dinner with her and everyone's sitting there and he's like smiling all cutesy. And you're like, that ain't how it goes. If that happens, how does it go? Yeah.

I don't know. I've never done that. I don't have a wedding ring on, so I'm not, I'm not married. How would it go? I don't think I'd go never done that. I don't have a wedding ring on, so I'm not, I'm not married. How would you expect it to go? I don't think I'd go to that lunch. I mean,

I couldn't sit there with the dude and, and just, I don't know. It'd be, it'd be so weird. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like, you just had sex 10 minutes ago with his fiance. Well, she ended up being like in a couple seconds, but yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, I just, that's not any real. I didn't know how it goes. And also sex. Her dad is rich. Her dad. Yeah. Well, you probably give that's not, that ain't real. That ain't how it goes. And also sex. Her dad is rich. Her dad, yeah. Well, he'd probably give her a kiss.

Take her out for a meal. Give her a kiss. I got kissing on my mind. You got kissing, you got kissing on your mind. You got kissing on your mind. Yeah, my big old, what's the,

is that what the back of my shirt says? I got kissing on my mind. I got kissing on my mind, yeah. Snoopy little devil kissing on the mind. I'm a Snoopy little devil got kissing on my mind. That would be devil kissing on the mind? I'm a Snoopy little devil got kissing on my mind. That would be like a shirt that your grandma

gets you. Like it's got Tweety on the front and Sylvester on the back. Tweety's kind of pissed doing that art thing. I don't remember Tweety from the cartoons.

Was Tweety pissed all the time in the cartoons? No, it was like Tweety was like a baby. She always talked like a baby. So what's with Tweety like being... I tore a putty tat. So what's with Tweety? I tore a

putty tat. Oh yeah, I did. I did tore a putty cat. Yeah. So why is Tweety so sassy now? I don't know. Don't let him sell shirts. Wait, is he sassy now or is Tweety bad? I don't know. I feel like you see sassy with like Tweety like arms crossed. Is Tweety a boy or a girl? Man. Or is it not a minor? Tweety was way ahead of that.

Okay. Tweety was way ahead of what's going on right now. Tweety was just Tweety on right now. He was just Tweety. Yeah. He was Tweety. Was it Tweety? Tweety was a Tweety. There is a playwright. Uh,

I know that. I forget their name. I forget. I'm sorry. I forget. Uh, Oh my God. Am I going to get there?

Prefer pronoun, right? Judy. I've okay. Is that one of the pronouns? Yeah. So Judy wrote, I forget Judy's name. Judy that one of the pronouns? Yeah. So Judy wrote, forget Judy's name.

Judy's name isn't Judy, but you know how like my pronouns are like his, her, or like he, him, his. Yeah. He, him, his. Yeah. This person's pronouns are Judy, Judy, Judy. Judy, Judy, Judy. Judy, Judy, Judy.

And Judy wore the craziest outfit for the Tonys during this long sojourn, I wrote for the Tonys. It was at the Tonys. So Judy wore this crazy outfit for the Tonys. Is Judy a pronoun? You can pick whatever pronoun you want is what's up. No, but I mean like. On the East Coast. But like the definition of the word pronoun, Judy isn't one.

Well, Judy picked Judy to be Judy's pronoun. No, no, no. I understand. But I'm just saying like grammatically. No. Judy's not a... No. A pronoun is like a word that replaces your name.

But in that way... No, yeah. I feel that. But it's not a... No, but it's not a pre-existing one. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Judy just wilded out and Judy judied herself up. That's tight. Yeah. My pronouns are going to be hot lips. Mine's Terminator. Term lips. Mine's Terminator. Terminator. Terminator, Terminatee, and Terminate Ted.

Terminate Ted. I hate that guy. Terminate Ted. He's good at killing roaches, I'll tell you that. In more ways than one. That guy will sit down and smoke a blunt with you. I see what you're saying. Roaches. Burning them to the filter.aches no i don't know what you mean the entendre is double sean jordan in the studio i am in the fortress of solitude right here i'm right asking underneath

the photo of rashid wallace with a tight cross tight cross i cross tight now tight cross the thought of having a loose cross is weird to me like I don't know. I don't honestly know the last time I crossed my legs, but there was one digit my age. Yeah, I don't think it's a big guy move. No, it's not a big guy move at all. I guess sometimes I can like... You holding that though? Yeah, it's not comfortable.

It's like I can rest it, but it's not... I can't even. I don't like it. You know what's wild is I do it on planes now. What? Whoa! I will squeeze my legs so they're crossed on a plane. Sounds like you're a British playwright.

Yeah, you are a British playwright. Smoking Virginia Slims. This is a different playwright. This isn't the Judy one, but a dude named Jez. Last name Butterworth. Jez Butterworth. Okay. And he won a Tony.

Jez Butterworth is British? I don't buy that for a second. Jez Butterworth. I feel... Bit of Tony. Jez Butterworth is British? I don't buy that for a second. Jez Butterworth. I feel... Bit of a thicker cut of meat himself, by the way. I feel like junior high school would be a nightmare with that name. Retreated into his plays, I think. Oh, for sure.

You know? But now look at him. Jez Butterworth. You're going down, kid. Here's the thing the Brits will do. They'll take the first sound of your name and then just add an as or an as to the end of it. So Jez Butterworth's real name is Jeremy, but they just call him Jez. Jez, I like that.

So you'd be Dez or Daz? Man. Corrupting Daz on that S? Yeah, I like that. You'd be Shez or Shaz, dude. Shez. Shez. Like some people named Gary are called Gaz.

Interesting. I got nothing, unfortunately. Shaz. Shaz. Like some people in Gary are called Gaz. Interesting. I got nothing, unfortunately. Yaz. Yaz. Yaz. Yaz, queen. Yaz. I sound like the Austrian virgin of Broad City.

Jaws. Jaws. Jaws. What about being named Dick Buttkiss in school? I've always thought that would be the roughest name. I didn't believe that that was a real name when I was a kid. Richard Butkus? Someone was like, hey, there's a coach named Dick Butkus,

and I was like, bullshit, there's a kid named Dick Butkus. Sean is a nine-year-old little boy. Bullshit, Terry, you. Either that's real or Santa's real. It can't be both real, and I'm going with Santa Claus Dick Buckus is real Why don't you go get fucked I say it right in front of a teacher

Before Dick Buckus was a coach Dick Buckus was a linebacker So I don't think Dick Buckus got Too much trouble He put the word out Also how long have we been calling penises dicks That's a great question. I think a long time.

Dork has been slang for whale penis for quite a long time. Yeah. Oh, like he dorked her. Yeah. No. Ian agreed with it way too quick. Oh, yeah, like the popular crazy dork dick. In the circles, David and I traffic in when you're not here.

We're dork heavy. Which you're not here. Yeah. We're dork heavy. Which will remain unnamed. Please. On mic, you know, but yeah. You don't want to see that side of the internet. No, it's called the dark web for a reason. Yeah, it's called the dork web.

X-Men dork phoenix. Dork phoenix. Dork. Dork. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. That is what I had the toughest time with in hosting some of these shows. What? Oh, that part of it?

Saying people's, yeah, I fucked David's up every time. He had a tough time with all of it. Yeah. Yeah. It was tough. We got all jammed up. And I just lock on one thing. Yeah, you would get like.

Like a predator's laser pointer. I got 150 something of these under my belt. I don't know what number. I don't know where we're at right now. It doesn't help when David's like, just right in my face. It would be very funny. It is funny though. Yeah. It's very funny when he does it. I'd love to. Okay. Yeah.

I kind of want to see you do it. No. You'll never see me do it. There's no way I will, dude. Not unless you say like you're going. I'll say I'm gone and then you'll be like, we got this new guest, Jez Butterworth, dude, and then I'll come in. Full costume. He wears a hazmat suit, right?

Yeah. Crosses his legs. Uh-huh. Hard cross. Yeah. High. I don't like. Don't.

Quit looking down the shorts, bro. What are you doing? I don't like this. Sean's crossing his legs. It's a visual thing on an audio medium. I'm sitting in, like, a cross-your-legs-ass chair. I love this chair. That is a cross-your-legs-ass chair. That's a visual thing on an audio medium. I'm sitting in like a cross your legs ass chair. I love this chair. That is a cross your legs ass chair.

That's true. Of the chairs in this house, that is a cross your legs ass chair. Yeah. Yeah. The book starts here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The name of your album available now anywhere you can get albums.

Yeah. And you can get the flasks too. They're on a special thing. Oh, flasks as well. Get a flask. Didn't iTunes go away? I've been looking into that. So they, they didn't, they, so it was a big thing, but they, they're going to end up streaming it. They're going to like have three different platforms. One for, cause I was freaking out

cause I'm like, where are people going to get this? I was really scared for like a day. And they're going to move iTunes to the side, essentially. So you can still go on there and buy shit. And buy albums. You can still keep your library and all that. But yeah, I don't know. They're doing something. Okay. I'm not going to act like I understand how it works.

Jeff Field, Jeff Provide. What else have you got going on? What else can people fuck with you on? I mean, you can fuck with me on the street if you feel like it. See what time it is. Yeah. We're going to be in some tough cities. I'd like to see that go down. I mean, just man i don't have anything philadelphia sean yeah i don't

have anything yeah dude that's on my sweatpants yeah with the shirt snoopy little devil i'm into kissing something on the back like that snoopy little devil like dots all the way around to the back who loves to kiss. That's a Valentine's Day show. I'm just a Snoopy little devil who loves to kiss. But that is how I identify.

Yeah, as a Snoopy little devil who loves to kiss. I'm a Snoopy little devil who loves to kiss. Yeah, that's, I mean, the tour, which I'm sure we'll cover as soon as we... We should cover it. You should, do you have the, my computer, I have no idea where my which I'm sure we'll cover as soon as we... We should cover it. You should. Do you have the... My computer, I have no idea where my computer is.

It's under a bunch of luggage. Oh, Jesus. I thought you were going to say, okay. I have the dates right here. You got the dates right here. Let's throw them out. Guys, we are going to be... The Summer Breeze Tour, all fantasy, everything.

Summer Tour. June 26th, Seattle, the Showbox. Hell yeah. June 27th, San Francisco, the Great American Music Hall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. July 11th, Boston, the Showbox. Hell yeah. June 27th, San Francisco, the Great American Music Hall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. July 11th, Boston, the Sinclair. Beating up Mike Malloy. July 12th, Brooklyn, the Bell House.

Sold out. Sold out. I'm sorry you can't come. I'm sorry you can't come if you don't have tickets. Like I said last week, keep your ear to the streets because a lot of times people let tickets go like the day of. Keep my ear to the streets. Sign Eminem.

He's double platinum doing 50 a week. 50 what? Units? I don't know. 50 what, doctor? Push-ups? Yeah, I don't know. 50 Percocets at that point.

Yeah, at that point. Yeah, yeah. 50 Percocets, 50 just Nike hats. Just a swoosh. Is that that weird do-rag thing that was not a do-rag? Then he started running 50 miles a week when he got all mad skinny. Is that how? Because he got all fat too, though, didn't he? Yeah, he started running like crazy, and then he

was like gaunt. He was barely there. Gaunt. He doesn't seem like he's doing so good. Anyway, we're in Brooklyn, but yeah, sometimes tickets do go available. July 13th, DC, The Black Cat. Yes. July 14th, Philly, Underground Arts. July 18th, Minneapolis, Turf, sold out. Prince. Prince. July 14th, Philly, Underground Arts. Come. July 18th,

Minneapolis, Turf. Prince. Sold out. Prince. Prince. Second show, July 18th,

Minneapolis. Few tickets left. Still, but they're going quick. Few tickets left. July 19th, Chicago, The Hideout.

Sold out. July 20th, Columbus, Woodland Tavern. Close. Almost sold out. It's like close. Probably single digit amount of tickets left, right?

Oh, yeah. July 21st, we're wrapping it up at Detroit with the Magic Bag. Tickets available. Tickets available. Tickets available for Detroit. I can't wait to see Detroit. Me either. I want to go eat.

I've never been to Boston. I've never been to DC. I've never been to Detroit or Columbus. Yeah. I feel like I'm missing one. I've only been to New York once. I've only been to Ph or Columbus. I feel like I'm missing one. I've only been to New York once. I've only been to Philly once. I'm going to eat a lobster in Boston like I'm departed. I'm going to kill a mobster in

Boston like I'm departed. We could eat them afterwards. We're shipping up there. I'll probably just walk around and look at skate spots. You can do that too. We'll have lobster. I want to eat.

Remember in The Departed he was eating a lobster for breakfast? Was he? Yes. Really? It struck me. The hand in the bag. Yeah, yeah. Who is? Jack Nicholson? Oh, okay, okay. Nardo freaks out and goes and rips off

his wire. Sorry if you haven't seen The Departed yet, but you should watch it. Oh yeah, he goes to the bathroom. I'm not going to do this if I'm wearing a wire. They've seen The Departed. If they listen, if they're this deep. That'd be so funny if someone's like, hey. I haven't seen The Departed. Well, sorry. That's on you, sir.

Sorry. So come see us on those dates. Sean, nothing else to promote. No, I'm just else to promote faded on Fridays short hiatus it'll be back soon though see you're so much better at this than I am it's wild

so yeah go see that get the album the buck starts here and come see us on tour David Borey also on the

Forges of Sol dudes yes sir the G is silent on Twitter coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. Seeing some of those now. Oh, yeah. There's a few

of them. I like it. I like it. The voice of Comedy Central. That is me. Before that, the voice of all fantasy, everything. Where can people come see you? Uh, well, I got that tour and then i think

i'm in ashville north carolina i love ashville uh july 26 yeah yeah thank you and i am going to try to get some shows around atl Yes. That same time period. Now that's in Georgia for the listeners. Yeah, yeah. Atlanta, Georgia. Georgia. Georgia. Georgia. It's always on.

I don't know the rest of the reasons. We will try to come there as a podcast at some point. But who knows when that's going to be. So go see David if you're a fan of the winter. Come see me. Anything else? No, man. This tour is really the thing I'm looking forward to the most.

It's the fucking summertime. Me too. It's like the highlight of my year. When I was out there on that month long, I kept telling people, they're like, what are you doing for a hiatus? Because they're all going to fucking Greece or Italy or whatever. And I'm like, oh, I'm going back to the States. We're going on tour. And they're like, what are you doing for a hiatus? Cause they're all going to like fucking Greece or Italy or whatever, you know? And I'm like, oh,

I'm going back to the States. We're going on tour. And they're like, oh, you're going back to work. I'm like, oh no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, not no, not no,

but at some point, at some point, yeah, late July, I will be back at work, work, but, but she doesn't work.

No, it's the best shit ever. Two hours on stage is the closest thing you could come to calling work work. But this shit doesn't work. No, it's the best shit ever. Two hours on stage is the closest thing you could come to calling at work. And that shit's fun. I guess going through security at the airports will be work-esque. Yeah, right. I got TSA pre-baby. You see that, dude?

Some dude in Phoenix. Some dude in Phoenix ran through security and decked the first person that he saw. He was trying to bust through. I get it. But there's a dude. That is hilarious. There is one of the TSA agents who just like, I mean

you could just almost hear him be like, oh god. Because he jumps back and you're like, and then two women stepped up, two TSA workers who were women stepped up and ultimately started the tackle on this guy. And there's just some dude standing right, could have grabbed him. And he didn't. I'm just like, you mark dude. Not even a little

surprising having seen the women who work at TSA. Yeah, I mean, they started to tap, but this dude was... Those are some fucking Deborahs, dude. Yeah, they wake up just to put one in a motherfucker. Yeah, this dude was a big boy. Anyway, that's me going through every airport security that we're going to be at. You're going to be bum rushing? Uh-huh. I got that fucking... Just get TSA

Bree. I don't do that. Dog! I don't... You want me to put it on the list? I don't read books. Oh, you're killing me. I don't do TV. I don't do management. The place is right by your house! Now I don't do TSA Pre. I don't do that. Dog. You want me to put it on the list? I don't read books. Oh, you're killing me. I don't do TV. I don't do management. The place is right by your house.

Is it? The place to enroll is right by here. I've got this thing. I forget what it's called. Clear? Clear. Clear puts you in the front of Pre. Yeah, I just put my fingerprints on, and then somebody walks me up.

I've seen that. I always wonder. That's what that is, huh? Yeah. Nice. You got to get on it. They let me have it because of how cool I am and handsome. They saw your screen name, IK Cool G.

They saw my old AIM screen name. Some dude. Hey, IK Cool. Come on. Come on up, man. Guilty. That's me. Guilty.

The guy sold it to me on a... Knock my coffee can over. They sold it to me on a date. Like, this guy came over. He's like, you want to sign up for Claire? It's free for a month. I'm like, sure. And it's all like, whatever.

It costs a year, whatever. But like, he had me go through the whole thing. And like, it wasn't a very... It wasn't a busy day at all at the airport. So it didn't save me any time. And I was like, that's a letdown. But one day. Yeah, one of these days.

And I think on this tour, it will come in handy. Because I feel like there's going to be a little late to the airport type action. I can see that happening with the likes of us. I do not. I am not late to the airport. I pride myself on that. They do have Panda Expresses at a lot of airports. They do.

They got bars, too. They do have bars. Yeah. That's true. And I got bars. Yeah. Oh, you got two. I've heard the that. They do have Panda Express at a lot of airports. They do. They got bars too. They do have bars. Yeah. That's true. And I got bars. Yeah. Oh, you got, I've heard the bars.

Yeah. Yeah. I heard them earlier. In the one I was in the shower? Yeah, yeah. Everywhere, man. You've been barring out all the play. I was at the gym.

I came up with a really body positive beat that I think. Was it on your belly? No, it was, it's a, it's like a spoken, it's like a spoken.

That is funny. That is very funny. But it's like a spoken. It's like a spoken. That is funny. That is very funny. But it was a beat about titties and how all of them are okay. I'm okay with every kind of titty. Some people have different size preferences. But for me, it was like big titties, big titties, little titties, little titties, no titties, titties, big titties, big titties, little titties. I can't beatbox the rap in it, but like...

You did it? Big titties, big titties, little titties, little titties, no titties, no titties, titties, big titties, big titties, big titties, little titties. Big titties. Big titties.

I can't beat on the L. You're really good at it. I'm trying. I'm trying. It was like you felt like Razel. Yeah. It pisses me off that I can't beatbox. That's what pisses you off?

I mean, that and work, yeah. Have you tried? Yeah, I can't. Let's hear it. Let's give it a shot. Do it. Do like a real basic, because we've done this before. All right.

Hold on. Interesting. And I can't do the thing in the dude. Because you can't do that. Or which one? Huh? Y'all feeling this? Well, wrap over. Well,

rap over. Actually, I am pretty good because that was, that was me doing. That was Sean. That was Sean. That was Sean.

Freestyle rap over it. Nothing. You don't, do not, do not put me in a position to rap over this beat because I can't talk

like I'm from the streets from Sioux Falls and I got medium sized balls I like to skateboard and I like going to the mall okay now freestyle over this I can't take a hug I was trying to think of

what song it was that's what I was trying to think of oh man for how much I want to be a rapper I don't know if I, I'm a fad. For how much I want to be a rapper, I don't know if I could be any worse at it. I don't think I want to be a rapper. I just want the antics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I want to be, I want to get up.

I want to say, everybody flip the fuck out. Like, I want to freak out. Oh, that'd be so fun. Yeah. I told you guys about when I was- Well, let's try it at the AFE tour. Everybody flip the fuck out. You know, people will.

They'll shove each other gently. First show, Minneapolis. We're going to tell you guys to flip the fuck out. Yeah, well, they might. I'm calling my shot now. David just called his shot. People are pointing. What are we drafting? Ian Carmel. See, we're locked, dude.

After the longest hiatus I've ever taken from the show, two episodes, back in the Fortress of Solitude, it's Ian Carmel on Twitter of Solid is Ian Carmel on Twitter at Ian Carmel on Instagram at Ian Carmel on Jewish Global Express. I don't even know what that is. I don't like. It's like how to get into a car.

It's like how to go through immigration and like Border Patrol faster. OK, I'm not on that. You just got to run through, man. I'm telling you. Deca guy, right? Yeah. Just find the first Arizona style. Get yourself a sock full of quarters and just run through come see us on the summer breeze tour yeah please watch the late show and then also uh i'm doing a

couple festivals this summer i'm not doing any stand-up dates outside of the festivals but if you want to come see me do stand-up the Pacific Northwest, I'm doing pick a fun. Yeah. Whenever that is. I think it's first week in August. First, first week in August. Yeah. And then, uh, I'm doing a bumper shoot, but bomber shoot me and Frank, uh, not me in front of me and Tyler, the creator, it's going to be me, Tyler, the creator, other people. Uh huh.

And then that's, that's all you need to know. So that's worth it that's worth it i'm really excited to see tyler oh man that new album's so good from the side of the stage you be my earthquake uh so yeah come come fuck me on those pickathon bumbershoot get your tickets i'll be doing stand-up comedy hanging out having fun especially at pickathon where like i don't know i'm probably gonna be on drugs walking around. That's what I did. Yeah. Ever.

Cause it's wild, man. You go and you're just like, you can just go back in the woods and just find people. There's people everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Find them.

And then I'm going to band together with them. And then we're going to find a kill the Sasquatch. Yes. Oh, we had a, uh, Laura and I went up to the rainforest and we had a driver who was taking us on this tour of the Quinault rainforest or Quinault Indian reservation in

the rainforest. Anyway, he like really believes in Sasquatch. Yeah. And I just watching Kyle, Kyle was driving us around in a sprinter van. He really believes in Sasquatch. He sure does.

Uh, but I could just see Laura's face be like, just growing. Cause this dude was real cool. But then he's like, I think if he, he's probably around like in this area and we're like, you serious? I mean, I don't, I don't not believe.

What's the case for not believing? Who's you or Laura or that dude? He took us to his house. We were going on this tour and he's like, he took you to his house. He goes, there's only two of you. So I'm just going to stop home real quick. And we're like, okay, that's more reason wait not not to yeah also don't yeah he stopped how long was in his house 30 seconds he was having he was having trouble with his phone

so he had to go home to connect to the wi-fi to like check an email from verizon or some shit oh so it was that sounds like i give tours of a Pacific Northwest rainforest to my van problem to have. Yeah, for sure. He showed us that we're on tour and he's like, there's my brother's house right there. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck. It was fine. Somewhat of a hustle.

Yeah. I'm not mad at the guy. It's like, this is my brother's house. That's my house. Here's where Bigfoot lives. He told us, he was throwing out nicknames. Like he was like big John,

like there's big John. He's been around here since he was a kid. Andames like he was like big john like there's big john he's been around here since he was a kid and we're like what what were the were there any legit tour yeah there was this thing it was called like oh it was called like um it wasn't but it was like scum squatch or something it was a tree that looked just like sasquatch okay the people decorated it was really cool we hopped out and took pictures fun but he took me to the scum squatch so like something you'd call Shane. It does. Yeah. No, I wouldn't. I don't do that. Very good.

Very good. I love him to pieces. I'd do anything for him. Very good. You wouldn't call him Scum Squatch? I would never do that. I'm not going to text him after this and do that so I wouldn't worry about it. It's fun because Shane will get that text and then hear this preamble later yeah you know yeah um this dude took us to the most me to the most beautiful rainforest i've ever seen and i've only

seen two rainforests now they were both on this tour oh no i saw one in costa rica yeah i was gonna say yeah i was like if i'd have been by myself i could have cried with them but i didn't because he was there but if it would have just been me and laura i'd have been crying it was really jarringly beautiful it was so green growing up in the pacific northwest will fuck you up because i'll see stuff like that yeah yeah mountains too yeah people come out west and they're like oh my god and i'm like what yep now hood yeah well in south dakota we just see bunny rabbits is what we see yeah that blew my shit out we were in minneapolis it's just like bunny rabbits and fireflies like what yeah they suck they're just's just like, bunny rabbits and fireflies. Look at all these fucking bunny rabbits. I'm like, what?

Yeah, they suck. They're just out in the open, bunny rabbits. There are a lot of rabbits. Have you ever heard a rabbit scream? I feel like I've brought it up a lot of times. The death cry?

Dude, it is. You both have brought that up. No, I've never heard it. I heard our cat murk one one time and I had to go downstairs and tell Stink Eye, he came down and he's like, she's dead.

Wow. Okay. Because you can't do anything. The animal, they're deep in the bushes. Oh yeah, they'll run away. What do they scream like it's i can't it's just a child it's kind of it sounds like miss biggie they sound like alice cooper is what they sound like it's like it's fucked up wow no it's like like it's it's a real high pitch like something's

dying ass scream it'll it'll fuck you it's it sounds really awful yeah and you hear well i i've heard a lot of them i mean i've probably heard it 20 times in my life where you're just like kitty cat got a hold of the bunny rabbit in the west coast you just hear sneaky little devil mom is that kitty kissing the bunny too hard? Sneaky little devil loves kissing. Sneaky little devil all day. Mom, is that what kissing sounds like? No, that rabbit's getting murdered, Sean.

Okay. We are gathered here not just to talk about rabbit murder. Rabbit. We are gathered here today to draft summer stuff from our childhood. Yeah. Childhood summer stuff. Our favorite things about summer from our childhoods. Yep.

Child stuff. Kid stuff. Stuffing kids in. Kid stuff. Wee. Kid stuff. Big kids. Little kids.

No kids. No kids. Big kids. Little kids. Little. No kids. Big kids. You know? Two kids, little kid, little, no kids, big kids. You know? Two tracks already. I'm telling you. Big kid titties. Nope, you can't put them all together. No, go down that road.

And I learned that. Big kitty titties. Big kitty titties. Those are my slip-ons. Those are my slides that I'm wearing with the sweatsuit that I have. They say big, but kitty is like a cat right but yeah big kitty oh that makes more okay i like that better the combined age of like 120 in here yeah it's still hilarious. Big kitty titties and crying. 120? 110. No, that's not right.

100? I don't know. I'm 34. You're 32? 33? 32. Yeah, that's 90. That's 66.

That's 90. 96. 103. 103. 0.7. The crow in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. That's what it is. Crow Fest, bro.

Of course it is. You know how bad my mom wants to go? Of course it's the Crow. I might take my mom to the first concert I've ever taken her to. She wants to go see Rob. Since Buckcherry? I didn't take her to that shit. She would have.

That pig. The first word you said is Rob. Is the next one going to be zombie? It is. Oh my God. And then the third word is going to be Marilyn. Do you know what the fourth word is going to be? Manson?

She wants to go see Rob Zombie. I would go to that concert. Are you kidding me? What? You're going with your mom to Rob Zombie? She doesn't know it, but if I can work it out, I'm going to buy her tickets and take her. Yes. How do that?

Because she's still so wild. Because her neck surgery, she's like, I don't know if I can get in the mix now. And I'm like, no, you can't get in the fucking mix. What was the mix? What was the mix? She used to like to get not in the pit, but down up in it. Oh, I get that. I do that. Well, we can do that.

My fucking 60-year-old mom that just had her second neck surgery can't. I wasn't saying if I can do that, surely she can. I get the vibe that she wants to, but I'm like, don't even kick the idea. We're way back. You touch your hand on the back wall with me. We just sit in the way back. He's a prince. I'm testing you.

He's testing you every time. You really are. You're doing great. He's fantastic. We'll see. If I get it for this, I'm going to be so pissed at you. We had some great talks, so him and I have never been in a better place. You, though. We're in a good place.

Thin ice. Thin ice with Shane Torres. We're in a good place. And he's swimming around underneath it. Fangs blaring. Glaring? Shining. Whatever.

You can blast fangs. Fang Torres. My cousin was a fang blaster from way back. Had to be. What's a fang blaster? You know what I'm talking about. I do. I just wanted to see

if you'd say it. Just for the listeners at home, that was the sound of a printer jamming. Yeah. Yeah. David's cousin was an IT. We have Martin on

in the background, so that's why we're all laughing. Martin! I'm the man. I didn't know Biggie was on Martin until like a month ago. You told me that? Yeah. I didn't know that. I on Martin until like a month ago. You told me that.

Yeah. I didn't know that. Iconic episode. What about Mike Malloy giving Brooklyn vegan shit for calling Biggie the notorious B.I.G. It's just a website. Wait, I don't understand. Malloy, you're listening to this. He put him on blast.

This will come out Thursday. He'll already be on his tour. Oh, by the way, go see Mike Malloy. Yeah, go see Mike and Danny Sloss. Yeah, so Mike, and I think he's doing some dates. Mostly opening for Dan Sloss, and I think also just doing an opening on the show together.

Check Mike's Twitter, at FakeMikeMalloy. He's out on the road right now, going to be all over the country with Dan Sloss. Go fuck with him. Everyone's doing dope shit. Shane's going to be at Acme. When I saw that, I got so pissed.

That's been a dream of mine. Is it going to be around when we're going to be there? I don't think so. Damn it. I think it's like when

I think it's like next week. I think it's next week. I like Shane. So I don't know. Go see Shane at Acme. Best frippin club out there.

Except they had Louis. I don't know how stoked I am about that. Louis CK. I know. And Healy in Portland's better anyway.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. We'll go see Shane anyways because he fucking rules. But that club. I don't know if I ever told. I know. And helium Portland's better anyway. Yeah. You're right. You're right. We'll go see Shane anyways. Cause he fucking rules. But that club, I met a, I don't know if I ever told you guys this. Madison fucking rules.

Yeah. I was, I was at the open mic at Acme one time. So we used to drive up, we drive like four hours, go to this open mic. And then this dude did a backpack. He comes,

sits down next to me and rude boy. And he's like, he goes, yo bro, you know, the only difference between freestyle rapping, the standup comedy. I was like, freestyle rapping rhymes. And he goes, you just deleted all the air from my chest. And then he walked away. Like he, for some reason, thought I wasn't going to get that right. That's also a really funny way to say that.

It's not the only, there's so many differences. One of them's really, really comedy is really hard, I guess, but freestyle rap, they're just so different, but one of them's really really comedy's really hard I guess but they're just so different but one of them's popular kids who look at you do one of them on the internet don't call you fat yeah you know things like that just my subtle differences oh that's man man, yeah.

That's awesome. So we're drafting things for our childhood from the summer. Yeah. Nah, let's not draft anything. The way we termed the order, we could just bullshit for an episode. Bullshit. Just like go through the list like there were things we didn't pick. And bullshit.

Man, the Ratatat remix of that song is so much better than the regular one. Who was the regular one? Party and Bullshit? Puffy? No, it was Biggie. Biggie? Junior Mafia. Okay.

Don't suck your teeth at me. I would have got there eventually. I can't hear you. I know, I just wanted to say it. Do you bite your thumb at me? I bite my thumb at you. Yeah. Yeah.

Buff on goal. The way we determined the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Did you get that part right while I was gone? Look me in the eye, shithead. Did you say rollicking? I think I said rollicking. Did you hit the paper? I think so. Fuck you get that part right while I was gone? Look me in the eye, shithead. Did you say rollicking? I think I said rollicking, rock, paper, scissors. Did you hit the paper?

I think so. Fuck you, dude. I think I did. I don't think you did say rollicking. I think I did. I don't think you did. Well, you sure as fuck didn't, did you? No, no, no.

It is a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Let's play between the two of you. And I say we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, between the two of you. And I say, we throw a shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Fuck you. Oh, David threw up. Oh, I'm a little stinky who loves kissing.

I'm a little stinky who loves kissing. What was it? I already fucking. I'm a snoopy little devil, dot, dot, dot, who loves to kiss. What did I say? I'm a little stinky? You're a little stinky.

Stinky little kitty that loves to kitty. I'm a stinky little kitty. I'm a little stinky. You're a little stinky. Stinky little kitty that loves the kitty. I'm a stinky little kitty. I'm a stinky little kitty that loves to kiss you. I'm a stinky little kitty big titties. We've gone off the deck. I don't know what's happening. A combined age of 160 and here we are laughing. It's like we're recording after a fucking like, I don't know.

I'm still tipsy from last night. Bumping the walls as I fall, addicted to the fast life. I'm still tipsy from last night, I think. I don't think so. I am. Easy, Yoda. Whatever you think you are, I am. That's what I was just thinking.

If you guys haven't seen that shit, Google, what was that dude's name? The bowler? Google. The boy, I don't know, just type in who do you think you are? I am. Go use Google. Download the Google video. Okay, Google.

Okay, Google. It's nice to meet you. Watch the Hey Google. Italian grandma uses Google Home or whatever. Hey, Google. Hey, Google. Oh, I love her. Yeah, dude.

I scared. That shit is so good. She like grabs her husband. He's like, listen, we've had a hard life. This is like, we don't need wizards. We saw Mussolini's face in real life. Hey, Google. Hey, Google.

Hey, Google. It's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. And she's like, play. She nails that part. Yeah. to meet you. It was nice to meet you. And she's like, play La Fontana di Catella Ciccata da Tattarelli. She nails that part. Yeah. So, David,

it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Now, before you do, I will remind you, this is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? That's a great question.

Sarah, at the pop concert last night, Mars Mill jumps out, stage dives, and she's crowd surfing. That was cool. And they push her over to the left hand side of the stage, stage left, and then she goes down

for like a couple feet, and they're like, you know what? Let's surf her over to the other side of the room. So they surf her over to stage right, all the way over. She just looks like Jesus laying there, and then she goes down a couple feet, and they're like, let's get her back over there, full experience. And then she goes all the way to stage left again, and then they just kind of do that

all the way until she ends up in the back of the room. How long did she stage night for? She's still doing it. She's at the table right now. Shout out to Pop, by the way. Yeah, thank you guys. That was such a... Oh, I didn't get to go. On account I went to sleep at 9,

count them up, 15. But I just, any kind of live show, I'm just like stoked, you know? Yeah, shout out to the guy who recognized Sean. Oh yeah, shout out to you. Yeah, thanks man. He was like, are you Sean Jordan? I was like, the buck stops here, bitch. Yeah. I didn't say that.

You didn't say that? I didn't say that. David threw him under a street sweeper. Whoa. Yeah, it was a different David, man. Yeah. Yeah. Nighttime David. Nighttime David. Nighttime David. He had a Batman sweatsuit on.. Whoa. Yeah, it was a different David, man. Yeah. Yeah, dark boy. Nighttime David. Nighttime David. Nighttime David. He had a Batman sweatsuit on. Dark Phoenix. Man, I got to get a sweatsuit.

Not a Batman one, though. That's for sure. Oh, that's a bad call. Unless you get like one that like- Me in a Batman sweatsuit, I would just look like I smelled bad. Yeah. People would just be like,

that guy smells. Oh, he's going to or coming from a bus station. Yeah. Yeah. And when he gets to or where he's going, he's not going to know where he's going to or coming from a bus station yeah and when he gets to or where he's going he's not gonna know where he's going once he gets a ticket it's all wet in his pocket yeah yeah man i was on the bus batman sweatsuit is damp for sure i was on the bus in portland and this dude just straight up didn't have a shirt on it was like 100 degrees out but

i'm like yeah you forget pretty quick what the bus is like, unless you're riding the bus. Yeah. Yeah. Cause every time I go back, I'm like, this is romantic. I'll ride the bus. You know, this is how I lived. I love it here. And then you get on and someone's like, I'll kill everyone on this bus.

Yeah. Yeah. That's how it is in San Francisco. You get on there. I was like pee. And you're like, damn it. Yeah. Dude.

Barefoot. I saw someone eating. It was either mashed potatoes or potato salad, bare hand in it. Just like shoveling it into their mouth. I can't talk shit though. I've eaten a lot of food on the bus. You have not eaten it with your bare hands, my friend.

Not mashed potatoes with your bare hands. But I've for sure eaten chicken out of a backpack on the bus. There was a dude... There's this place that has a great backpack chicken in the mission. There was a dude, yeah, you just that has a great backpack chicken in the mission. There was a dude. Yeah, you just put the spices in your backpack, shake it up, give a piece to the driver,

you get a free ride. Dude, I'm going to Cancun when we go there. Oh, yeah. Shit, yeah. I got secrets, can't leave Cancun. I got secrets, can't leave Cancun. We're on the bus, and this dude, it's me, one dude, a man who worked for TriMet

who was not working, and a woman driving the bus. So it's four of us, and this dude lights for tri-met who was not working and a woman driving the bus so it's four of us and this dude lights up a cigarette i'm like here we go whoa so the guy the guy who was off duty he looks at the guy he goes put that out and the guy leans back he goes fuck you i pulled it i was like you got it i can i'll get up if it would have just been the driver i'd be like well i'm i'll stick around but i was like i don't know i'm not gonna deal with this you didn't have his back uh well it didn't no I don't know. I'm not going to deal with this. You didn't have his back? Well, it didn't. No, I got off. I didn't want to deal with it.

Not your problem. He didn't have to box out two dudes on the bus on the way to the Brody one time. He did. They were getting weird with the bus driver. I hate that. Choking up on him and like, you know there's that line you're not supposed to cross? That's like up there. And they were like doing that. And he was like, please don't cross the line. And like, you know, there's that line you're not supposed to cross. Yeah. That's like up there.

And they were like doing that. And he was like, please don't cross the line. And they were fucking with him. So I had to use my size. You had to call upon your training. And my cunning, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, you get passed the fourth. Yeah. Third in the first round. You pick first in the second round.

Yeah. Man, this cut off your, it's pretty good. 46 minutes. I haven't started. Well, you know, in the second round. Yeah. About to cut off your... It's a pretty good 46 minutes in. We haven't started picking yet. Well, you know, we had to let it breathe. All the new listeners.

We haven't hung out for a while. I know. It's been a minute. Been a minute. Been a minute. So with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? David, Sean, Ian. Hot corner.

There it is. Nothing but hot corners in this draft. Hot corners. When it was me and Sean, it was just corners. Just corners. Just a big corner. Ping pong. Yeah, back and forth. We just sat cross-legged and stared at each other. We had a candle lit.

It was tight. Man, I just bought a candle at Costco the other day. Have to buy candles. Nest. Nest is great. I ain't gonna text you about that brand. That's a good brand. Nest. There's Nest in his home right now. Elliot's Nest. Nest is great. That's what we brand. There's Nest in his home right now. Elliot's Nest. Nest is great. That's what we use in the Late Late Show. Okay, cool.

Seven Emmys. That's what we use in the Late Late Show. I got one of those flavors that's like vaguely sexual. No. Like Moroccan Afghan or something. Oh, yeah. Would you think this is sexual? What, your cum candle? I mean, if you say it like that.

Oh, man. When you do enough to work, I got to go to Home Depot and get my mom one of those cum candles for her birthday. She wants to shut up about it. She loves the smell of cum. I like the badussy ones myself. I haven't said badussy in a long time.

I can't believe you just said it now. That's just vagina, right? Badussy or is it butt? Booty, dick, and pussy. And that's a bad word, but yeah. Oh, booty, dick, and pussy? It's all of it, yeah. It's all in one.

Badoozy. Is that when you just put your face down there and sleep in it? Yeah, you just go play jazz. Not to be confused with the composer Debussy. I'm sure it's been confused. Claude Debussy. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Claude Debussy.

Or DaBaby. Shout out to DaBaby. DaBaby's out there killing it. Oh, man. Claude Debussy. Shout out to Debaby. Debaby's out there killing it. Oh, man. Claude Debussy. Oh, no, Debussy. No, it's Debussy. Oh, it is Debussy.

You just did it. I did it. You said Debussy. I am thinking about one thing, boys. Three things. Sounds like you're thinking about a French blowjob. On a first date like i hope i don't come off as uh i don't want to sound like an animal here like you know like i'm so some sort of like oh god what's the word i'm thinking of what is it oh sorry i don't want to come off pretentious but honestly one of my favorite musicians is the composer Claude Badosi.

Claude is the funniest name to me. Badosi. It's Claude Badosi. I really love the music of Claude Badosi. I don't care who's playing it. I think the Vienna orchestral symphony is excellent at carrying across the true undertones of Badesi. You can almost see it go across the room when you're in the building. Badesi is darker than you think.

You know? That's the thing about Badesi. She can cover it up most of the time. I wouldn't fuck you with his badussy. And then sometimes Laura brings up the general wants to listen to an episode. I'm like, you listen first. Not this one. Not the one with my beat about titties.

I always tell her, I'm like, you give it a listen. They're grownups, so they can handle it, but you just give it a listen. Hello, the general. What up, Jen? I said hi to Shaq for me. Can you do that? Can you just give them a listen. Hello, the general. What up, Jen? I had a shack for me. Can you do that? Can you call him Jen? Jen. Not yet.

Jenny. Jenny. Jen dog. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got. He's still Jenny from the block. You know. The Bronx. South side.

Wait, no, that's a different hip hop song that I'm thinking of. Brownsville. Sorry, Marissa. David! Oh, man. You have the first pick in the All Fantasy Everything Summer Things From Our Childhood, All Fantasy Everything draft,

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That's policygenius.com. And we're back. David Boyer, you are now on the clock with the first pick in the All Fantasy Everything Summer Things from Our Childhood Draft. Hey, don't fucking pick anything I'm going to pick. Did that start while I was gone?

No, I don't know. That started just now. I don't like it at all. I thought it was funny. It was funny. It was really weird. It was just funny. I'm feeling fun. We can think it was funny. It was really weird. Yeah. It was just funny. I'm feeling fun. All right.

Yeah. We can put some air horns over it if we want. Scream. Did you watch Always Be My Maybe? Yeah. Scene with Keanu. Oh, yeah. Keanu's stuff was awesome.

That shit is so dope. You know what? All right. You like it? We'll talk about it later. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. I found it to be uneven and searching for tone. You do work in the industry, don't you? What do you guys think about that? I can't talk for that. I'm lost. I don't know what I'm thinking about. I can't stop thinking about

Bidussi. I bet you can't. Bidussi on my mind. I'm Bidussi whipped. Okay. My first pick. As a child, I was given a long leash. My mother is African. She said, go outside and don't come back till nighttime. Yes.

So a big part of my summer times were just really long bike rides. Yes. That was one of mine. Probably going to be my first pick. Excursions. Yeah, when I was a kid, it was like a car and like, you know, to my mom's credit, it was like I could go anywhere. It's like the only

limit is me like, I've never had like a distance on it, you know, so sometimes I'd be like out there. Five, ten miles away from home. You'd be by other middle schools. Yeah, exactly. Like way home. You'd be by other middle school. Yeah, exactly.

Like way. More like you had a, a car. Like you didn't, you didn't know the city as well as you did. So you didn't have to be like, wait, where exactly am I?

You have to find like 41st street or something and then get back just on that street. Yeah. So you saw a guy can's house or something. Me and this dude, Brandon rollerbladed, rollerbladed Sean. Yeah. I'll be rollerbladed. Rollerbladed, Sean. Sean, we rollerbladed out to like the fucking Nike campus once.

Just on one of those days where it's just like, I guess we left at like 10. And at one point we stopped at McDonald's, bought two sodas, sat in the dining room and drank. No, you can't keep your boots on. We were in socks though. Just pounding orange soda, which is the fuel you need to rollerblade because your body at that point isn't like it's in the prime, you know? So it's like, yeah, I'll turn this into fuel. Yeah.

Whatever, man. Yeah. Now it would give me a headache and I'd have to go to sleep immediately. Yeah. Yeah. My skin gets itchy thinking about orange soda. My teeth feel like they have hair on them. If I get too much soda.

Yeah. Yeah. My, my pupils dilating. Yeah them if I drink too much soda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My pupils are dilating. Mix my Badoozy Quake. You have a Badoozy. Did you live in the Bay Area during the Badoozy Quake? No, you were in Tacoma. That's right.

Badoozy Quake. Are you talking about my second album? Yeah. With a bunch of trap music on it mixed with my stand-up? Badoozy Quake. Badoozy Quake to go to Dairy Queen and order one of those excuse me I'll take a badissi quake a lot oh just go make it oh that's weirder than a dilly bar yeah yeah okay I'm the dickhead LA has a insufficient

amount of Dairy Queens yeah I don't even know where one is. You know what's fucked up about Dairy Queen, too, that nobody ever gives credit for? The hot eats. The food is good. Yes. Yes. Dairy Queen burgers are fire. Dude, get those chicken strips with the gravy?

Oof. Forget about it. There are some Dairy Queens that are better than others, food-wise. And they're usually in small towns, I feel like, are the good ones. Yeah. There's one on the Oregon coast that has these. It's so fucking good. Man. God. Wherever we go to eat dinner, I'm going, are the good ones. There's one on the Oregon coast that has these. It's so fucking good. Man.

God. Wherever we go to eat dinner, I'm going to get a milkshake. Yeah. Oh. God, where are we going to go? All right, let's wrap this up. I'm hungry. All right, so bike rides is my pick.

Really long bike rides, yeah. What was the terrain like in Sioux Falls? It's pretty flat. Yeah, so you could go forever. You could. I mean, you'd hit a Yeah, so you could go forever. You could. I mean, you'd hit a hill, but you're a kid. Yeah. But yeah, that was the first time where you're like, oh, I could.

When you realize, you're like, I can just go. My mom's not behind me. I can just go. Oh, man. Even if she says, don't go past Mary, and you're like, fucking take a long walk off a short pier, lady. I'll go wherever the hell I want. And you can't find me.

No. Man, when I was a kid, when I was in Tacoma, dude, we everywhere. Sprinker, you guys ever been to Sprinker? No. Tacoma's got real buck hills, though, right? Yeah. It's got everything, dude. It was just, you'd like, and sometimes you'd be riding your bike, you'd happen upon a lake

or some shit or like some porn in the woods or whatever. Oh, yeah, porn in the woods. We'd always go on the bike trails, like find turtles and shit. That was real fun. Eat them. Eat turtle soup. Kill them. One time I crashed my bike, though.

I was alone on this trip. I crashed my bike. It sucks. And I was just like, where's my mom? And I started crying. And I remember even at the time being a little older than I was comfortable with that reaction. I wasn't like 14, but I was probably like 12. 12 is the end of that, yeah.

Shout out to Sue Carmel. Sorry about everything that came right before that anecdote. Yeah, really long bike rides, man. Fucking fantastic. Sean Jordan. Going to the pool. That was summer. So you lived in apartments too growing up, right?

Yeah, most of them. Did your apartment, most of the apartments? Prairie Wind, Charleston Courts. Are we just Panther Lake? Is this what we're doing? I think it ought to be something. Meadow Breeze. Campus Green.

Greeny Green. Appian Way. I actually grew up in Cabrini green i never told you guys he used to call it greenie green we had all that money we were in apartments until i was like six five or six and then we lived in a house for like three years and then the dude ended up suing my mom this guy did because she like wouldn't date him. And so he sued her and I still know all the details. He won. Yeah.

We got our, we got our shit out of there. And then we, then it was apartments again until she married Stinka. So when you were living in an apartment, my whole question was, did you have, cause this was a thing for me.

You always had to be like, when you were a kid, you had to have somebody who was at least like 13 or 14. Oh yeah. With you to use the pool. Otherwise you had to have an adult with you. Did you ever have that where you'd have to be like, yo,

go get Des's sister. She'll watch us at the pool. I swear to God. We didn't have pools. Oh, not at these, not at these. Damn.

Yeah, there was no, they were like the newer one. We had playground. That's where I got beat into the crypts at the playground in my apartment. Yeah. That's where that happens. So when you say the pool,

you mean like there was like community pools you would go to? Yeah, Keen Pool was like my pool. I never went to those. Me either. No way. There was one up the street from the house and like, I don't know. It just was never like, we never really went. Yeah.

Maybe once, maybe twice. Yeah. We used to get patches. I mean, we'd go every day. Yeah, you get a patch. So you get them for free every day. They were like 20 bucks. So you could do the pay.

Oh, like sewn onto your swim trunks? Oh, okay. And there was like a, these kids would have the same trunks for like three years. So they'd have all their patches. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Yep. But also Smith had a pool. So that was pretty tight.

Well, that's what we did. So like I had two friends who had pools. Both Jews. Do Jews love pools? Jews love pools. Jewels they call it. I do love pools. I love a pool.

Oh, dude. You won't find a guy. You're Jewish? A hundred percent. Bar Mitzvah and everything. I think I might've known that. I think I might've picked up on that. Jewish.

The Michaels and then the Millers, they both had, they both had pools. So that's where I would swim. Outside of that, you know, other bodies of water that might come up later, but, like, that was kind of it. Man, we went to the public pool constantly. Really? Because that was just— You pissing in there?

No, I never did, but this kid took a poop in there one time. You never did. I was pretty good about not doing it. You never pissed in the pool. I'm sure I did, but I was pretty good about it. I pee in the pool to this day. I'm peeing in the pool right now. Yeah. No, I never do anymore. Really? Uh-uh. Never ever. You pee in the pool. I'm sure I did, but I was pretty good about it. I pee in the pool to this day. I'm peeing in the pool right now. No, I never do anymore.

Really? Uh-uh. Never ever. You pee in the ocean? Yeah. That makes me feel bad because you and I have been in a pool together when I peed. Everybody. I got a whole bit about it, but my friend Phil took a piss in a hot tub and just looked

at me and he's like, I just pissed. And I'm like, well, don't tell me. I won't pee in a hot tub. Yeah. A lot of people will. It feels too intimate. Yeah. Yeah.

It's also also it being hot half of the fun peeing in a pool is peeing and then like it's gross maybe people don't want to talk about it

everybody pees but peeing and then walking through your own pee and being like it's warmer yeah some kid pooped

in the pool one time they had to that's way weirder they had to drain the whole motherfucking that's way weirder they kicked us all out they drained it

cause you had to try yeah you know what I like I feel like you gotta switch schools after you shit in the pool yo everybody's gonna remember They drained the whole motherfucker. That's way weirder. They kicked us all out. They drained it. Because you had to try. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, you can't accidentally switch schools after you shit in the pool. Yo, everybody's going to remember. Were you there when it happened? Yeah. Oh, God.

Gross. I don't think I was in the pool. Did you see the log float? It didn't float for some reason. Well, in my memory, it didn't. Somebody call CPS. That kid's just eating fucking tire tread or some shit. It didn't float.

Jesus. He's eating mulch. Yeah. We would go to Smith's crib and it got to a point where like, cause I, you know, I've known him forever. So it got to a point where I just show up,

be like, Hey Carol. And then he, he, he slept. So we would just be out swimming and he'd get up. He's like, well,

fucking cool guys. And we're like, come on out, man. Like your mom said we could. So whatever.'s still still bringing it up you're like you guys just used me for my pool i'm like you happen we're still friends yeah like you happen to have a pool yeah i've broken up with girls for you before like yeah i didn't use you for your pool you know and he's very far from pool ownership right now you know it's pretty far from pool

ownership so yeah going to the pool it's got other priorities right now you know it's pretty far from pool ownership so yeah go to the pool got other priorities right now yeah he does because of you probably still being really good at skating which is god he's so good still you gotta see these shins the smith listen to this podcast on occasion he heard yeah uh yeah he heard something i said on here and he's like fuck you and i go i didn't think you listened wow he wasn't serious but yeah i gotta tighten my shit up a little bit your game yeah the pool i never really went but i do see how it could be fun yeah i'm shocked that was like that was summer for us was going to the pool yeah i've gone as an adult we went i went with marcella and some people in um bloomington we all went to a public pool really yeah it's tight

until i saw that band-aid floating around. It wasn't all that dope. That's not what I want. All my pools now are hotel pools. I love going to the hotel pool. And honestly, I'm by myself in most of these shits anymore. So I also take a bath all the time. When there's a bath in the hotel, I always take a bath.

I took like three when I was in Portland. I'm like butt naked too in there. I'm naked for a long time. I'm very rarely in the bath. I've been doing bath. I took like three when I was in Portland. I'm like butt naked too in there. I'm naked for a long time. I'm very rarely in the bath. I've been doing that walking around naked a little more. It's tight. Got to. Gotta do it. Anyways. Time for my first pick? Hold on. Oh yeah, we are over an hour, so yeah.

I always like to wait. I always like to wait. With my first pick, I am going to wait. I always like to wait. With my first pick, I am going to take the... Well, I'm going to take what our equivalent of going to the pool was, which was like going to the river. Oh, yeah.

Floating the river. We didn't have a fucking river, I'll tell you that. Dude, we had two of them. Should I write these down? I got it. When you guys were kids, you did do that, huh? Not with my friends, but my family would go to the river all the time. Ivan M. Carmel, this may surprise you, owned a boat.

Still owns a boat. And we would take the boat. That guy used his boat, too. Some people buy boats and they use their boats. Sent boat five times. That guy uses his fucking boat. He did six times. I remember I bought a boat and he used that boat.

We went out on that boat. We went boating and shit. Get boat. We boated times. I haven't come out and bought a boat and he used that boat. We went out on that boat. We went boating and shit. Get boat. We boated up. Damn. You were all about it. We rocked the boat. Yeah.

Absolutely. So what's a day on the river looks like? Do you barbecue too? You cook. Or do you bring food? It depends on what the agenda is. Sometimes you go fishing and that was an earlier day. Right.

You got to be up before dawn. And I'm not really talking about that so much. Although that was also fun because that was more of day. Right, you gotta be up before dawn. And I'm not really talking about that so much, although that was also fun because that was more of a spring-fall activity, I feel like. This was like, you still get there pretty early. They're like 9 a.m.

Right, right, right. But it's like your day. Like, you're gonna be out there for the day. Your day. The family's out there. Yeah. You have, like, sandwiches packed up. There's chips.

There's probably Steely Dan blaring from the tape deck that my dad had. Multiple boats are blaring. You're like, it was like, well, no, it's not a steely Dan.

Steely Dan, an armada of steely Dan. And you would just go out there and like, I was more of a, like, I just kind of liked being on the boat. I wasn't even, I would swim,

but like my siblings, like jet ski or not jet skied, water skied. There was a donut or whatever, a thing that would grapple you behind the boat. Yeah, and I did it one time, and for some reason, it dipped under the water. A mouthful of Columbia River water. It was like, I'm never doing that again. But I just loved fucking chilling on the boat. Sometimes I would like read a book even.

Well, you can't be chiller than when you're on a, literally like in the middle of all this water. Steady, you know, that water, that Columbia River is beautiful. It's beautiful.

It's huge. Which one is the gorge? Is that the Columbia? Yeah. So we were on a boat like last year for Tori's bachelor party. Maybe. Sure. I'll buy that. But there's parts of the river where the sand like washes up so you can get out in the middle of the river.

Sandbars, yeah. Stand and I was standing there and you look like you're standing on the water because it was like two inches deep. That's awesome. Yeah, it was sick. In the middle of this river, you're just like, this is dope. You don't want to get your boat too close to those. No, no, you don't want to get high water. That's boat shit though.

No, yeah. High water? Big boat shit. Big boat shit. Little boat shit. your boat too close to those. No, no, you don't want to get high watered. That's boat shit, though. No, yeah. High water? Big boat shit. Big boat shit. Little boat shit. No boat. Big boat shit. No boat shit.

Little boats. Little boats. Kid titties. Sorry about... It's a song mostly about boats, but... I was going to say, it's a boating song. There's a lot of stuff in there. Some themes.

Yeah, so like, just fucking going to the river. And I love just like the vibe of it. I love the whole family hanging out. Yeah, that sounds like it makes me want to have a family. Yeah, right? That sounds great. That sounds fantastic. It was beautiful shit when we would go to the river, man.

And then my dad ended up living on the floating home on the river. Yes, sir. And then the river's like just right there. You can just jump in and swim. I love swimming. And to this day, I still love swimming in a natural body of water more than I enjoy like a pool. Oh, yeah, for sure.

I just fucking love it. Some people don't. It scares some people. But for me, I'm like, well, it can be scary, but like, no, that's a land animal. So like, what are we even worried about? Yeah, exactly. Although they did shut down a surfing competition recently because a shark jumped out of the water.

Great white. What state was that in? California. Damn it. Now I got to move. It was like Pismo Beach or something. Pismo.

Pismo. It was either Pismo or who's the one we would say? Redondo. Redondo. Oh, Redondo and Pismo? Yeah, dude.

Those guys used to launder money for me. Fuck. Who's that writer who wrote... Jez Butterworth. Jez Butterworth, yeah. I was thinking of Get Shorty and that shit. Like the guy who wrote Jackie Brown. Didn't Quentin Tarantino not write Jackie Brown?

Can't remember. I forget. Anyway, I think he probably did, actually. I digress. Moving on. It's stupid. The River, dude river dude and for some people that's like the lake I'm not trying to take both of those things but those are similar experiences yeah yeah natural bodies of water so I'm taking that I fucking love it uh also like when the sun starts going down and you're all tired and worn out it's just a beautiful day tired from the sun is one of the best feelings when you're sun tired.

The fucking best. Yeah. You are so, and I'm pretty high, not high strung, but I'm just anxious all the time. Yeah. So that just mellows your shit out and it feels great to me. I love that feeling.

I'm about to take another one from the youth. Going to the fucking movies. Yeah, dude. Ooh, that's a good one. It's summertime. One of my favorite things. Shout out to my friend Sam Talent. He shit his pants when we went to the movies

whoa hilarious what movie I tell the story anytime I can go on you got that scared huh yeah no we were going it was like we were going to see X-Men and him and my friend Steph feels late yeah no this wasn't he was driving

oh okay yeah yeah yeah dark phoenix and he was he had been drinking apple juice all morning and he hit a He was driving. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dark Phoenix. Oh, okay. And he had been drinking apple juice all morning, and he hit a bump, and he just was like, and he veered into a parking space and ran into a linens and things, and me and Stefan were in the car like,

what the fuck is going on? And then he comes back, and he was just like, and he just told us, he was like, man, I shit my pants. His bubble burst. Yeah, and then he comes back and he was just like and he just told us he was like man I shit my pants bubble burst yeah and then he like left the shit the poor linens and things janitor staff oh damn had to like

he left a shitty pair of underwear in their garbage yeah oh yeah and then we went to watch x-men I'll tell you this we were at the movies one time I was with Joel and Jeremy back in the day we kissing Joel no we weren't kissing yet. Joel took a poop took it out of the toilet put it on the toilet paper dispenser a big

proper high school kid healthy poop and he I'm standing outside he comes out and he's like he tells us and I go you what the fuck dude why am I back to the doors Joel and Jeremy are standing there talking to me so they're looking in the doors I'm facing out to the parking lot their eyes get big and they just take off and then i'm i was

gonna start running because that's what you do and then this dude grabs my shirt and he's like you fucking put your shit and i was like no he did and he's like you're picking it up so this dude gave me like a uh like a juju bean box or something oh what this is a grown- a terrible story. As a grown up, a grown, a grown man. I was probably, I was probably 14. He made me go in there, pick it up,

put it in the toilet. And then he's like, get the fuck out of here. And I was like, you asshole, dude. I mean, I understand that sucks.

I feel like there's a lot of assholes in this story. Yeah. I feel like you're the only good person in this whole story. who's not an asshole. This entire story. Yeah, dude, I was,

and I told Joel and he was laughing I'm like this ain't this ain't funny Joel yeah that's like awful god I was so so bummed out

yeah yeah go for it but yeah that was going to the movies one of my favorite things too was um when you there's always good movies

I think they're I love I just love going to the movies but I mean the summertime is like it's always like there's always like yeah and then there's those movies that everybody's going to be talking about when they get back to school your independence days yeah you know i know that because i was in africa when anchorman came out and when i came home i had no idea what

anybody was talking about that escalated quickly yeah you didn't know i didn't know any of the lines i remember my friend bubba was like i have a massive erection and i started laughing and he was like it's from anchorman and i was like oh you're right brick i think you killed a guy yeah and that was back in the day where like after it left the movie theaters and before it got to dvd there was just this space where you couldn't see it anywhere. You just had no access to it. Yeah, I just had no access. There was no YouTube clips.

What a weird time to think about that, like, something would be gone and you're like, well, I guess. And then there was also that period when it would leave the video store. You're like, well, now I can't get it until it comes onto TV. I mean, and we didn't rent videos all that much. So like there would be, I remember being a kid and like planning to watch a movie, like being like, Oh, that movie's coming on Sunday at four on UPN.

Yeah. Yeah. You remember that? Yeah. Or like we had HBO for a while and, um, but that's, we would be like,

Oh, it's, it's on at eight. Like we have to get home to watch it. You know, you're talking about real sex. I never enjoyed real sex because it's know you're talking about real sex. I never enjoyed real sex. Because it's real sex.

Because it's real sex. I wanted Skidamax. Real sex was terrible. Sorry, I'm back. I didn't know we were going to start talking about real sex. Real sex is like... I've tweeted this before, but just because it's a thing I've thought before,

it would always be like two Jewish therapists having sex. And they're like, this is, you know, this is why we've been married for 30 years. And you're like, gross. And you're trying to like jack off to that. It was like, and like the joke that I told, it's like, it's the black diamond of jacking off. It's like the highest level of expertise.

You really had to like, you really had to get it in where you fit it in. Yeah, right. It's like, that's, that's what I'm, that's crazy. Yeah. Real sex was always a bummer. I wouldn't even try most of the time. Yeah, I'd turn it to E real quick.

People sitting on balloons. Yeah, it was real sex. No shade if that's what you're into. I bet I'd like it now. I don't know. Also, I don't want to watch me have sex. I don't want to look at me and watch me do it.

That's what is going on in real sex. Wait, were you on real sex? I don't talk about look at me and watch me do it. That's what is going on in real sex. You just want real sex straight up. I don't talk about real sex aid a lot, but we talk about any other one in detail. Yeah. But yeah, I just,

I'm like, I don't want to see that. It's not the fantasy. Isn't I want to watch. Oh, I think we have different habits then. I only want to watch. I like,

I I'm, I'm all amateur. I want it to look like kind of like me and then like kind of like somebody who works at the Whole Foods or something you know what I mean yeah I want it to be a familiar badussy I'm sorry

I know that's not a word you should say more than one time in a day and I really we're clocking like 15 but you have to I haven't said it in like 10 years

nobody's gonna say it for you for god's sake you gotta speak up man wouldn't it be funny if that alcohol was called Badoosay Badoosay in my cup that's what I'm gonna call it Badoosoudouce in my cup. That's what I'm going to call it, bro. Boudouce all up in my cup.

Just go back to summer movies real quick. I used to love to, like, because you go in there, and also the air conditioning would be blasting. Yeah. It'd be all cold. And you'd have to get yourself there. So you'd either have to walk or ride a bike, and then you'd get to the movie theater,

and then you'd go in, and a ticket was like $4.75 or whatever. Boy, that's a real old person thing to say. Take south dakota man they're like six bucks for man they're still yeah wasn't there always like there would always be like some kind of summer movie program yeah oh yeah remember that we didn't really have too many of i don't think we had that in beaverton we had it it was like a summer it was like i don't it's childhood was complicated. Were you like by a subscription kind of thing, basically? Yeah. And you could get like cheap. Because I remember one summer, I'd have babysitters when I was a kid.

And I remember one summer, my mom like sprang for like all the passes or some shit. Yeah. That was, man, I'm remembering all this. Like Smith and I go into like old Adam Sandler movies. Yeah, man. That was a big, because I don't think a lot of kids were wanting to go to the movies with me, but we went to like every Adam Sandler movie. I don't think so.

I always want to go. You get a popcorn too and a candy. When I was a teenager, I would go to the movies in the summer. Oh my God. Why? Well, Big Torque Daddy used to work at a movie theater. Then it was on like Michelle Kwan, dude. I bet I saw, yeah, Big Torque Daddy, big old Torque Diesel. We'dwan dude i bet i saw yeah big torque daddy big old torque diesel uh we'd go i bet i saw phantom menace no shit a hundred times just before we'd go skate

or after skating be like let's go hang out with tori at the movie theater till he got off oh we worked there yeah oh nice yeah we just go watch yeah dude and then he would get the the big things like you know transformers like the big cardboard oh stand. We'd take them and we'd go hit them with his blazer. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. Also, the movie parking lot. I don't know if your movies was like this, at least in Colorado when I was a teenager. The movie's parking lot was like.

Poppin'. It was cracking in the parking lot. Yeah. Shout out to the Chinese man in Aurora at Arapaho Crossings. Fights all the time. All so many fights in that parking lot. Girls from different schools. Oh, different schools.

Oh, different school girls. It was that parking lot ruled, man. That was the one and only time that I smoked weed out of a soda can was in a movie theater parking lot. And so we're at the Western Mall because my dad had just showed me how to do it. So you hit the block. I'm like, you know, fuck your pipe, bro. I got, well, my dad showed me how to do this. Let me show you this useless skill. This family secret that my wife did. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Reduce, reuse, recycle. That's the last one. That is not the last one. No, it's not. Reduce, reuse, recycle. It's Reduceless. I think that's the last one. Gary, not the last one. No, it's not. Badoocy, Badoocy. It's Badooceless. I think that's the last one. Gary Badoocy? Jake Badoocy. Gary Badoocy.

We went and saw Fast and the Furious at the theater. You want to talk about some dorks, my friends, all them hoods up. And you're like, that's just a civic that you didn't do anything to. A regular one. That's just a Civic that you got. A regular ass Civic. That shit was a blast.

The movies, man. Sean, time for your second pick. Sleepovers. Oh yeah, that's a good one. And I've been, not to stand up, but I've always thought maybe this is just a life thing, but adults don't appreciate sleepovers enough

because we can just do them. I mean, that's basically what we do. Oh, yeah. In fact, they sound horrible now. David, do you want to spend the night? No. I have a bed. By the way, sober?

Yeah. You want to stay up all night? No. Spend the night? Hey, you want to stay up till four just watching whatever happens to be on TV? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to sit and play Mortal Kombat.

I mean, it was just so fun. That's not how it's pronounced. We used to sit and play Mortal Kombat. Thank you. Finish it. Yeah, dude. That's what we did when we were playing Stalking Biscuit. All right, Sean.

Anyway. For those of you who didn't hear, Sean made a... I didn't say anything. Yeah didn't hear, I didn't say anything. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. You guys are hearing shit. We sit up, play Mortal Kombat, drink soda, but still be able to go to sleep. Yeah. I used to be such a dick to my friends when we were sleeping over. Cause when I decided I was tired and I wanted to go to bed, that was it.

Everybody had to go to bed. I'm like that now. I would yell. People can stay up and like, if I want to go to bed, that was it. Everybody had to go to bed. I'm like that now. I would yell. People can stay up and like, if I want to go to bed, I'm going to bed. Well, but I see,

I didn't know what he was staying up. Cause there'd be like nine of us on the floor in the basement and people be talking. I'd be like, shut up. Really? Yeah, dude.

Adam will tell you. Cause he used to get, even into college, he'd come crash at the crib, but he'd stay for days and him and Phil be downstairs. And I'd, I'd hear him giggling or something. And I'd come stomping down the stairs and i'd be like shut the fuck up people want to sleep you know you baby yeah dude i was i never pictured you for the time

yeah i was yeah i was a nitpicky little jerk but then also a nitpicky little jerk who loves kissing. We used to sit at Smith's. We'd have sleepovers. I remember one time specifically, we had this keychain super soaker. Yeah. He'd sneak in his room and we'd squirt him in the face

until he woke up and we'd run out. I'd be so pissed. It's like six in the morning we're doing this. Yeah. Came out and he took one of his sister's dolls

and threw it right at my face, gave me a black eye. So I stood up and I was like, all right, let's handle it. And Carol comes out and she's like, boys, what the hell?

And we're just screaming at each other. And she's like, Sean, one, sit down. Sean, two, we were Sean one and Sean two.

Yeah. But yeah, that shit was hilarious. That's amazing. Yeah. Me and I forget who it was. I think Brandon Carol, again,

the guy who I rollerbladed with all the time. It might've been somebody else. It might've been three of us, actually, whoever it was. One time, we were like, let's see how long we can stay up. And it was during the summer. And we made it almost to 48 hours. And like, halfway

through it, we went to like... You're just as drunk as kids can get. Yeah, you're like kid drunk. We went to Safeway and got as much stuff with sugar in it as possible. We got pudding and made pudding. My mom didn't make the pudding. We made pudding. You made the pudding. Just all drunk on no sleep.

Just like, yeah, hammered on it. And just like staying up fucking watching. Who knows? God knows what. Weird. Whatever weird shit. VHS. Yeah.

Weird shit used to be on late at night. Yeah. We can watch Platoon, Clueless, or Lethal Weapon 3. We had either a VHS of three episodes of Beavis and Butthead. God, that's right. One time we were doing sleepover at his house. Shit, memories are flooding back. I love it.

We got really into making models, which I still think is fun. But you know, like painting and making. I went through that phase. Yeah. And we would watch the same. Also, we got really into stop motion Lego stuff. And then we would watch the same three episodes. Or maybe it was five.

It was not a lot that were on like a VHS video and we'll just like watch it and then run it back and watch it again. Shit. Yeah, man. Smith had a clock that it did the dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, every hour. And we always had to sleep in the living room.

And it would wake me up. And also the blankets were scarce. Why do people have those clocks? I don't know. Every time I heard it, I was like, why on God's green earth? At some point people sleep. So why do you have a clock?

And it's always TikTok. You could hear the TikTok. When you can't sleep as a kid, that clock is loud. Yo, it really is. And I could never, man, we thought someone was breaking in one time.

We called my mom because we were, we were 10 maybe and his, I don't know, it wasn't late. It was like 10 probably. And we heard some shit.

The door was just blowing in the wind is what we found out. 10 is 1 a.m. for kids. But we called my mom and I think I was crying. I was like, someone's trying to break in. So obviously she like drove over. She's like, are you guys okay?

It was the door blowing in the wind. We're like, oh, we thought someone was going to kill us. When you call your mom, where's the parent of the place you were staying? They were, they might've gone to Lewis or something. They were a little chiller. Okay. But yeah. And also it was fine.

You don't get safer. One time my older brother's friend, Isaac, who I love, who was like a member of the family, okay. But yeah. And also, it was fine. You don't get safer. One time, my older brother's friend, Isaac, who I love, who's like a member of the family, tried to scare us. We were having a sleepover.

Tried, succeeded. Yeah, ain't hard to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because behind my house was a huge swamp. Yeah. So there was nothing back there and like it was dark, you know?

Oh, yeah, that's scary. That's scary for sure. And then like there was like two glass sliding doors and we were like laying on the green carpet watching whatever, you know, and then like he tapped on the back.

Wearing pajamas. Yeah, wearing pajamas. And then we looked back and he was standing there looking at a crazy face. We're like, ah! It was Isaac. And then he came and chilled. Yeah, sleepovers. I mean, I could talk about that.

That could be a whole episode. Yeah. Yeah, that shit. It was just the best. And like that my friends have always been my most important thing in my whole life and that like early on i was like yep this is yeah this is dope just chilling as hard as you could they have sleepovers would you ever get where kids have our hot properties for sleepover like yeah that happened

with us too where it's like where are you gonna sleep over he's sleeping over at rigel's not my house we were pretty that's another thing. I've always had a pretty big, but tight circle. Like a badissi. Like a big, tight circle. You made a promise. I need help!

This is me crying out for help. You're my friends. We would have 10, 12 people stay at the same crib. That's how we solved that problem. Really? And the parents were like okay with that? Yeah, it was like my mom, Smith's mom, Kyle's parents. Man, you would have to-

We had main places. Multiple kids sleepovers. That was like a- It seems like a nightmare for parents now. Can you imagine? No, I can't. I don't know how. I was more one-on-one sleepovers.

Also, we moved a lot, so I didn't know that many people. Oh, yeah. I used to stay at CJ's. He was the kid that wouldn't let me eat breakfast. Fucking dickweed. How did he stop you? He, like, wouldn't. Well, I wasn't going to go take it.

So he'd, like, he'd get up before me. Oh, he'd go eat breakfast. And then he'd be like, I already ate. And I'm like, well, I'm not just going to go mob in there and get some stuff. Yeah. And now I would. But back then, I'm like, well, it's illegal. You can't do that i

guess it's against kid law uh sleepovers david time for your second and third picks my second pick is i will do oh i used to love like mobbing on somebody's house like so-and-so's parents aren't oh yeah we're all going over there daytime in the daytime like while they're at work just doing whatever weird stuff adolescent kids are eating all the fucking food all their fucking oh my god i remember one time i stole my friend's mom's mike mike's hard she had one mike's hard lemonade and i just she'll never know you're like i drank it and then he told her and I was like so scared she was going to call my mom. Yeah.

Yeah, but just like that, just like being a real delinquent in your friend's house. Yes. I used to love that show. Oh, it's so fun. This was more late high school than or like mid-late high school

than kid, but Matt Gerhardt, his family, for whatever reason, always had like the craziest snacks. Yeah. Bubba Haas. Same thing.

We would fucking, I don't even have to ask, but Bubba and Matt probably had the same body type. Oh, yeah. Bubba was the center. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Matt should not have been on the football team, but was in that, you know, in the soul tree. He actually came to the live shows in Portland.

Anyway, anyway. Nice. Gushers and like that chips colorful candy shit yeah like shit man because we did not nick man pay i'll tell you about mac earhart's house dude dude shout out to nick yeah he rules so the namps who were just up there that was god he's dope anyway yeah like mobbing to someone's crib where you just you felt like it was your house because you're like you know you have a time when they're going to be back. You know, they will not be back before five and it's like 11 in the morning. You're just like, yeah, all day. And you'd like, and I remember, especially when I was

like junior high school age, it'd be like, Oh, the girls are over it. Oh wow. Yeah. And you'd be like, Oh God. Okay. Okay. Okay. We're going to go over there. We're going to go over there. We're going to go all that shit. I used to love it, man. Just go over and be all quiet. Yeah, because it was like. Yeah, just got to sit there. Karate kid's on. Yeah.

Because it was like back when like if you were in somebody's house, their parents were home back in the day. Watching a movie on CMT. Yeah. Yeah. Watching some weird movie on CMT for sure. Watching Overboard or something. ESPN 8. Yeah. yeah oh for real watching strong

man yeah oh my god i used to watch so much strong man why just so the listeners know sean went to the bathroom otherwise i feel like he'd be chiming in on strong man i bet sean loves strong man there's no way he doesn't yeah mobbing up on a house well i can't even throw to the next pick sean was gone it was tight though oh also now that I look back, I'm like, wow, I did grow up in a really nice area. What do you mean? Just in the suburbs. Because when I think about the experience of going over to other kids' houses, it was always really well-lit, good-smelling.

My house was also the same way, but it was like, oh, you'd go over to another well-lit, good-smelling house with really comfy carpets and like amazing snacks and shit like that yeah it was always funny when like there was the older brother crew oh yeah oh man try to make that work like we'd go to swing chief's crib and then paul'd be in the basement listening to metallica and we're like well we can't go downstairs paul's down there he'll murder us well really he was just some he was like Beavis just sitting in his room. Just some kid.

Was it a master of puppets? Yeah. As loud as it would go just in there being like, everything sucks. My brother's room was called the bullpen. He had his own nickname for it. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, I think so to this day. That's pretty cool. I'm in the bullpen. He had his own nickname for it. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, I think so to this day. It sounds cool.

That's pretty cool. The fucking bullpen. I'm in the bullpen. Mobbing on a house. Sean? Oh, no, no. Time for your third pick, David. My Sid Peek.

I don't know. My Sid Peek. My Sid Peek. I have a sticky little devil. I love to kiss. Bad Lucy? Bad Lucy? Oh, that Badadootsy shit.

I can't help this. Boom, boom, boom. Okay. My third pick is the Ice Cream Man. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, that was like, there was me sometimes where that was the only thing I had to do that day. That whole day.

It's just like you got three 385 yep somewhere I'm gonna get that fucking disgusting the one that also has a piece of gum on it like a baseball glove oh that used to be the fucking move because I also like baseball yeah the best I also uh the strawberry shortcake crunches. Oh my God. You're playing all my hits. I love that, man. God. The frozen Reese's. Remember the big Reese's? Absolutely.

What about, you'd be like a superhero face and they look all fucked up. Yeah. You know, I guess that's Spider-Man. It was like the incredible Hank. He's just a big white guy he's not even green I also liked it when the ice cream man

cause some of the places we lived were you know different than others sometimes the ice cream man would have like everything yeah

so he'd also have like chips and soda I was only at ice cream we never got the the guy with like the chips let me get a chili Frito give my money back

my money when. My money. When I lived in South Central, the first time I moved here, there was an ice cream man who would go down the street every day and would sometimes just park and it would drive me crazy. Also had some crazy song. But yeah, he would have chili cheese Fritos and he'd put chili in a Frito bag for you and all that kind of shit. Oh yeah, dude, like walking chili.

Dude, I used to love that shit. Once so much. So I got caught trying to break into an ice cream truck one time. Really? When I was a kid, the ice cream man worked at, he lived in our apartment. Yeah. And, uh, what are you going to not try to break in? This kid does thought we would, even though I don't know why he would just, the ice cream

would be in there. I would have thought that at the time. Yeah. And he caught, he came out and caught us. I bet he did. I bet he had an eye on that motherfucker. Like he was like, get off my property.

And I specifically remember my dad saying, man, you didn't state your property. These are apartments. Then we ran away like the bad-ass little kids. We were, was, uh,

was it the entertainer with a song for everybody else too? What? I feel it. Yeah, that's the ice cream. Yeah. And you would always like run like he wasn't going to stop for you. I know, but they wouldn't stop. Grab the money, go, go, go, go.

When you would hear that song echoing upon the suburban walls of the Somerset Meadows suburb, it was fucking on. Man, I would. You would make that happen quick. You would run to your parents, get money. Yeah. Yeah. Or, man, I would.

This is fucked up right now, but if everything, if I got fucked up in the game and I couldn't do comedy, I think I would like to be an ice cream. Yeah, I think you could do that. I think I'd be good at it. Yeah, you would. Yeah, I don't think that'd be bad. It'd be fun. At least for a couple months.

But yeah, the ice cream man. Gucci man. The Gucci man. Excellent pick. Sean Jordan, how about your third? I'm picking Sneaking Out. I used to love to sneak out. It was when Dark Sean started coming around.

Dark Sean. Cause we, I remember in the summer is a good feeling. You felt like you were, I, I might as well have been killing someone. You just felt, you were like,

Whoa, this is insane. And my aunts, so my aunts were two and three years older than I was. Yeah. So they were with me. They were like around all the time when I was like eight, you know, eight, nine, they were just getting into like sneaking the time when I was like eight, nine.

They were just getting into sneaking out. I'd go with them sometimes. That was back when I was still way too scared to do it. A couple times I even turned around. I'm like, I can't do this. I'd go home. Then, I got the sickness. What would you do when you stuck out? Would you just be out? Smoke cigarettes and stuff.

How old were you? Eight? No, like 11, 12. Oh. You know. Still. Where did you get cigarettes? I don't know, honestly. Wow.

There were, because we do it in like, in this neighborhood, Mystic Meadows and Pine Lake Hills were the neighborhoods. That's like some shit you see in like Croatia

and 11 year olds smoking. Yeah, like that really tough baby on the internet. Well, it was part of fucking the USSR that collapsed at some point white ghetto maybe not 11 cause you're still a fifth grader

David's white ghetto theorem maybe it was maybe I was 12 cause we were in I was in middle school that's the same thing I mean you know we didn't it's not like well yeah whatever but yeah we'd sneak out. In the white ghetto.

On a cold and gray Sioux Falls morn. Another cigarette is smoked in the ghetto. By a little kid. Yeah, we'd sneak out. We'd all meet up at this park. And then really, we'd just like sit there and smoke cigarettes. And be like, we're out. We're not inside.

There were a couple of times we'd like, we'd be walking and it wasn't mad late. It'd be like midnight. Right. We'd sneak out and then a card come and there were a couple of times we just dove into the dit like wet ditches. And I'm like, they didn't like it now. If I were driving down the street and I saw a 12 year old walking,

I'd be like, give a fuck. What am I going to stop him? Like, Hey, what are you doing? Yeah. I don't care. But yeah, we just thought it was just going to, we're like, I'd be like, give a fuck. What am I going to stop him? Like, Hey, what are you doing? Yeah. I don't care.

But yeah, we just thought it was just going to, we're like, they're going to, one time we snuck out, came back. So I always go out the basement window. Never say one time around me, by the way. Yeah. Shit. Five. Oh, we snuck out.

We, uh, my friend hung his jeans up and for some reason he, he had just all the change in the world, but he hung them up because it was raining. We got caught in the rain. So we ran back, hung them up on the shower and all the change in the world. But he hung him up because it was raining. We got caught in the rain. So we ran back, hung him up on the shower, and all the change went into the bathtub and just so, so goddamn loud. We were just standing there like waiting for footprints. And we didn't hear anything.

His parents had to have heard it. Yeah. Well, and they also are probably sleeping. And they're probably like, huh? Yeah. They ended up catching him one time when I wasn't there. Really? The time they got caught,

they pulled up to this park we used to go to with their headlights. And this kid's dad was the, it was a rough dude. So he, I'm glad I wasn't there because I saw him do some shit. Papa Bosna? No, it was Daddy Bosna.

I saw that dude at a house party one time. That dude was Buick. I'll tell you what. Adam tells this story better. I don't even know if I was there, but there was these Bosnian dudes we used to go over to their, they'd have parties with or without their parents.

They didn't really give a shit because their older brothers were like real gnarly. Yeah. I don't think I was there, but one time this dude was in the kitchen with a knife or something, like a teenager, just going, just wiling out.

And then Daddy Bozina came in and just walked straight up to the dude and punched him and took the knife out of his hand. with a knife or something like a teenager just going just wiling out and then daddy bosna came in and just walked straight up to the dude and punched him and took the knife out of his hand they used to have boxing in their garage and we yeah no this doesn't sound like this sounds like a pretty nice neighborhood i remember standing in the back like like you can't just be here and not box so i left i was like i'm not I will not be fighting in that garage. I think Adam might have stuck around. He was way buckier than I was. He'll, I'm sure he'll text me and let me know. But yeah, dude,

it was buck. Just to contrast that story, I only snuck out once and I asked my mom for permission first. She said yes, right? Yeah, she said yes. So she let me sneak out and we didn't really do anything. No, you don't.

I mean, it's just more of a rite of passage. You just are like, this is what nighttime's like. This is what late night is outside. Right. It was darker. Talking to my friends. Quieter. That night air, where now you're just like, whatever.

It's nothing. But that night air, you're like, this is weird. I'm not outside. There's something about summertime night air, too, that's like, it just feels better. You know, it feels good, you know? It feels wild. Yeah, it does. It feels wild.

Sneaking in the streets. Time for my third and fourth picks, as it is. A serpentine draft. A serpentine draft. I am going to take, for my third pick, just fucking marathoning a video game. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. Just, like, in a way that was impossible both on school days, obviously.

Yeah. But then, like, even on weekends during the school year, because, like, your mom would be like, well, other people would want to use the TV. Or your mom or dad would be like, you know, like, hey, you can't play nine hours of GoldenEye. But during those summer days, there's nothing stopping you from playing yeah solo sometimes or with other people just like 12 hours of a fucking video game yeah that's that's that nobody nobody's there to check up on you just getting all fucking tight on fred meyer brand soda i know that's a local reference yeah president select or whatever it was. Just like on their cola.

I remember playing games that like used it like Metroid. I'd shut off all the lights and play Metroid and it kind of scared me a little bit. Oh yeah. I'd just stay up late. I'd play like Aliens because it was scary with all the lights off and I'd sit real close to the TV and be like, what happened? Is that, is that predator behind me? Who's the predator in the laundry room? Shit was a blast, man. Well you would have read video games too.

You'd go to like Blockbuster or Hollywood Video. That was a lot of it. Hollywood was everywhere. You'd rent a video game and you'd be like, all right, I got two days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you didn't beat it, you were a chump, dude. Fucking, that's when like Tony Hawk

during the summertime, that's probably when you racked up those big scores. I had a broken foot more than I didn't. So yeah, I was playing Tony Hawk. Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. I'm a Superman. So here I am. You know, I beat Tony Hawk at Tony Hawk

one time. You told me. Yeah. Have you told that on here before? Probably. We were at a trade show. I'm playing Tony Hawk. They had a demo game. Then Tony Hawk came up and played me. I don't even know what I said. I think I was like, you want to play it? Like I didn't acknowledge that yeah he knew I knew who he was we played and I beat him I was like that was cool and then I think I just walked away but yeah I beat him that's crazy I've never heard you tell that story oh it was wild dude it was I was shocked because

that was the cool thing about those trade shows is it was like imagine now if you could go as a young like basketball player or rapper, and they'd be like, all right, you're not a professional, but you're pretty good. So we're going to say, because the skate shop said that we skated for them. So they would just let us in. They'd give us passes like we were not professionals, but they'd give us passes. We got the same pass. So we'd get to walk around with like Jeff Roley and Rodney Mullen.

They were all there, just like bullshit. And we're just little kids like, Oh my God, dude, this is insane. It was, and we'd all stay at the same hotel. Like I got there too.

Yeah. They all stayed there. I went, yeah, man. So we'd like, it was the embassy suites. When I went back to San Diego the time before last,

I walked down there and I cried. I've stayed at the embassy suites, the San Diego, right on the water. I guess they're all like 20. Yeah. They were, I mean,

they were there to party and throw down. And like owners were there to like, all the company owners were there to show off their new shit. But all these pros would just go there because that was their like all-star game or whatever. They would just be like, yeah, this is tight. Like riding the elevator there at Costin. And we're just like, holy shit, this is gnarly, dude.

That's a really cool experience to have. And we were kids. We got to go, I think the first one I was 15 or 16. Just a little boy. Hadn't even's a really cool experience to have. And we were kids. We got to go. I think the first one I was 15 or 16. Little boy hadn't even seen a Badoozy yet. Well, I was 13 when I saw my first Badoozy. So don't twist it up. I was 13 when I saw my first Badoozy.

Me and Too Short have something in common. That's about it. But yeah, we'd go with no parents. And we were good. We didn't do anything. We'd just sit at these trade shows. We'd go to the trade show all day. Skateboard all night.

That was it. It was sick. Oh, yeah. Beat Tony Hawk at Tony Hawk. Beat Tony Hawk at Tony Hawk. That's like that Aaron Carter song about the day I beat Shaq, right? Was that a song? Yeah. Well, it's one of many similarities between me and Aaron Carter.

You do have a lot in common. You do have a lot in common. Yeah. We're both Nick Carter's younger brother. Not a lot of people know that. That is true. I was in a boy band. It was called Six with Dicks. My last friend was named Dicks.

It's a crude boy band. Oh, they're six of us and Dicks? We're like, there's six of us and Dicks is the lead singer. Oh, nice. Six with Dicks. Yeah, Six with Dicks. That was where I was Tony Impact.

Oh, fuck yeah. Aloysius de Monopeca. Aloysius de Monopeca. Yeah, so video game marathons, man. I would just like... That's fantastic. I still do them every now and then. I think they're important. Turn your brain off. I think it's healthy. It makes me wish that I gamed now.

Other than like out there gaming on the streets, hustling, flowing. Saying I gamed is weird. I don't know. That weirded me out a little bit. It doesn't sound like that. David, let me come over. Ian's gaming. He doesn't like it when I'm here. Dark Ian. Dark Phoenix, bro.

With my fourth pick, I'm going to take something very simple. Slurpees. Oh, yeah. Fucking Slurpees from 7-Eleven. For me, it was the Coca-Cola, and I throw a little cherry in there. Yes. And that was my fucking Slurpee. Why is that Coca-Cola so much better than Coca-Cola?

It's so much better than Coca-Cola. Now, I don't think I could drink it. I don't like it. It's too sweet. They don't work now. Dude. It was my favorite thing about the summer. You know what I loved about Slurpees was like,

cause I didn't, you know, you don't have a car. It was also the journey to get one. Yes. Like you get the reward. Yeah. I feel like there was never a seven 11 that close.

No, which is how it should be. You should have to walk a mile and a half to two miles. Before you drink a Slurpee. Definitely. And then walk two miles. You should have to for sure. God.

But they were like, you know, 99 cents to whatever, $1.25 for the biggest one or whatever the prices were. That big one was huge. Did you guys have allowances or how'd you get money when you were a kid? Allowances where I would ask SK Dynamite for about a 20 spot, you know, for a week and you'd have 20 for a week or whatever. Stealing hubcaps. Yeah.

No, I really didn't have a lot of money growing up often. I would steal, which is not the best thing to just say. I got good at stealing from the store, stuff like that. If any of you let your kids listen, well, they're not listening anymore to this episode anyway. So whatever. We lost the children at Badoozy. Some poor ass.

I'm sorry. You lost me at Badoozy. Tangled web. Oh yeah. That is where they come from. That's where they come from. Badoozy. When it dilates.

My butt doesn't really have a lot to do with it. I pray to God that Bidussi isn't actually some offensive term. Corporation? Oh, no, no, no. I was going to Google it, but then I got scared. Yeah, don't Google Bidussi. I'm doing it. Boy, that would be a real bummer if this came out and everyone's like, hey.

It'd be a belong day for Barissa if Bidussi was a bad word. Belong bidet. It'd be a belong bidet for Barissa. If it wasn't a bad way. Belong bidet. Belong bidet for Barissa. Babelnik. From Bompton. Fucking video game. Oh, Slurpees.

Yeah. Fucking Slurpees. And yeah, the journey of just going there and also like a business being cool with a child just buying something. Yeah. That was it. Because buying shit as a kid you always felt like it just felt like you were doing something you weren't supposed you know yeah

like i'm engaging in commerce yeah right okay i'm part of capitalism right now very interesting yeah uh yeah just buying sometimes you eat a little candy with it too but just like slurpees are there some of the technology's gone downhill, too. Has it? Yeah, they're all, like, sugar-free and weird now. Man, something should be unhealthy. That should be unhealthy. And just don't let your kids drink a bunch of them. Although, there was no stopping me. We're out here making decisions.

Yeah, I just loved it. And they were so, like, and I'd have it forever, too. A Slurpee would last for, like, ages. Sometimes you suck all the syrup out of it and then it would be that like ice at the bottom icy tan like kind of but like you'd still you'd still fuck with that and then you turn the straw around start scooping it in with a spoon yeah then you put a little promethazine in there damn get wild uh-huh damn damn i've told the story about me hookshotting that slurpee because i was a little high school.

That was, I won't tell the whole story, but I did hook shot a Slurpee from the passenger seat of a sedan into an open Jeep next to us. We knew them. There was a backstory, but I did hit them. Hilarious. So yeah, Slurpees. Sean, time for your fourth pick. It's always been a passion of mine

this goes back to the bike riding you were talking about going to bike rides going to the mall during the day the mall colony didn't matter

if I was like 8 or 15 I have loved going to the mall my whole life and that was one thing we'd just go look at all the stuff

we wanted to buy we couldn't buy shit we have an episode about it I couldn't I couldn't get to the mall. The mall was so far. Yeah.

See, ours was close. Yeah. We were, I'd have to try to get to Washington square, which was so far away. I bet the mile was the mile. I bet the mall was like a mile and a half from our house.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's perfect. We'd go to where all the ideas were planted on all that goofy shit that I wore when I was a kid. I'd be like, I'd look at it for months and I'd be like, I'm getting those yellow pants. I'm coming back.

I'll give her a rip. Cause we'd be in there every day. Like Wayne's world. Like you're going to buy something today. No, no. I'm going to try on these yellow cross colors again though. Till I somehow get 70 bucks. Then I'm going to buy them.

Just coming out like it's 70 bucks. You wereys so that store whatever store it was metro mix they just knew you as the kid who would come in and come in and try on the yellow pants not just the yellow pants my friend pretty much everything that you could try on before they were standing there looking down my neck i'd be like yeah all right, bro. Baseball jerseys. See you tomorrow, motherfucker. Biggest leather coats in the world. How many? I'd like to try on all the eight ball jackets on the top rack, please. If you could get

them all down and that Bugs and Taz leather jacket. I would take them all for a walk. Yeah, dude, we used to and then, you know, there were the stores we'd because for a while we're on like the Jabot kick and those were just at normal those were like at sears and pennies and shit yeah well probably not sears but they were like pennies and dayton's we could walk to uh target that was as close as we could but it counts like did you ever go there and just like i used to yeah we get jujubes i used to be in walking distance of the cTac mall. Is that the big white one?

There's like a giant white mall right around SeaTac. Everything's white. I think so. It's the only mall over there. Yeah, it's gotta be. I've been there a few times. It's awesome. Yeah, man. Daytime trip to the mall. Target. That was as close as I could get.

We'd go to Louis, which was like it it's a, it's a, like a Walgreens, but it's in Sioux Falls. We'd go to Louis and just a lot lamer though. Cause we'd try, they had the clothing section that was just all these shitty knockoff like, yeah, dude. So we'd try those on. We'd go look at BB guns. That was a big thing. We'd look at a Target. How was your boss food court? Would you frequent it? Yeah. So it was.

Yeah, dude. Did you get to borrow? Yeah, we had to borrow. There was this place called one potato to the West. Soulcrate West used to work at. He'd hook us up with free. It was just like big dope baked potatoes. Nice. Yeah, we do that back when the mall was ill. So there was like you'd

walk in. They're losing flavor, man, because they don't have arcades anymore. This guy! Grandpa Sean! You guys could have seen him in his high-back chair, readjusting his cross legs. He's an alien!

Back when the mall was ill, you readjusted like you were about to settle in. Back when the mall was ill. You walk in the main entrance, there was Aladdin's Castle, there was the Hardee's. It was all the restaurants on either side.

Aladdin's Castle was the arcade where everybody kicked it. You'd go in there, you'd play Mortal Kombat. I'd always beat older kids in Street Fighter. Smith and I got in a fight with these two kids one time over that. I beat this kid in Street Fighter and then Smith was kind of standing there and this kid walks up and he,

he was pushing me and shit. And then he spit on me. The only time I've ever been spit on and I turned around and I just went nuts. I I'd like, I was screaming. I was kicking him. I was trying to like,

I was, I was trying to hurt him. Cause I was just like, you spit on me, but we were children. And so this, this is how little we were. This old, she was probably 65.

She worked at the arcade. Yeah. She pulled us apart. So we're pretty old. Yeah, it wasn't like you guys were. Not like a couple of young lions. And they were older. So they're outside just sitting outside waiting for us.

And I'm like, well, fuck, man. So we called Smith's mom. She came in and escorted us out. Because I had him on the hop. But I didn't have him if he like, if he was ready for it. It was nuts. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, man, I loved. And then you'd go to the food court and there'd be, it was, it was an actual circle. So it was a circle with all the restaurants on the outside. Then all the chairs,

it wasn't like they are now where they're like dug into a corner. Yeah. And it's like a big horseshoe. This was like an actual Island with all the food. I was so dank. That's when they were ill though. That's why. That's back when

it was ill. You guys probably don't remember all that. I don't remember when the mall was ill. I'm not a kid anymore. Yeah, man. It was so fun. And that was another thing. You just feel like no one's kicking me out of the mall. I can just be here. I can just be here all day. As long as we didn't do anything

wrong. And you probably see some people you know. Yeah, all the time. Especially in the summer. Are you kidding me? In the summertime? That's like where you'd go and you'd talk about how you're going to carousel on that Friday night. See you at the skating rink along with all the real bloods that are going to kill us. Real bloods. David, time for your fourth and

final picks as it is. Fourth pick. I didn't think this was going to be on the board that long. So this is surprising. The water park. Oh, we did not have a water park. You guys didn't have a, oh no. In Washington, it was wild waves.

I've been, that's, that was the closest water park. Oh man. That shit was cracking. Is there one in Portland? No, still no. No. Crazy. The Columbia river.

The Willamette river. Hag Lake. No, still no. No. Crazy. The Columbia River. The Willamette River. Hag Lake. No, I'm talking about all day. I sting because you've just been in that chlorine. Wild Wild West. High chlorine. Yeah, that high chlorine. You get to see all the people you're attracted to in their swimsuits.

A lot of people you're not attracted to in their swimsuits. You got to test your metal on the slides. Some of those slides at Wild Waves would be like, you'd be walking up those stairs and then you're like, there's all these kids behind me. I can't. I never once bailed. I never once.

No, me either. Me either. We saw how many times we could go down. I forget if it was the big one that looked like it was straight down, but it wasn't. We, I think for like 50 times in a day or some shit, we were sick. Like very sick. Oh yeah. It's also like those ones at times in a day or some shit, we were sick, like very sick.

Oh yeah. It's also like those ones that wild waves, when you would come down the bottom, it would give you like an animal. Like it would just cross your shit. And if you didn't, there'd be like, you're going to get blasted.

Dude. Right of the butthole. Oh yeah. Right of the Badesi. Right of the Badesi hole. That might be the most accurate usage of, but don't say this. I think that was the best one. Yeah.

That we had wild water West. And then we had, uh, gosh, what was it? I think it was just Sioux empire water. Oh, something.

It was just two water slides. And then we had these goofy, cause there was always other shit with it. Like go-karts, mini golf and all that. So we had like these goofy basketball hoops that had weird tilted backboards and shit. So you could try to do super fun trick shots. Oh, that's fun. Yeah.

It was really fun. Was there a wave pool? The wave pool. We had a wave pool at Wild Water West. We ended up getting one years later. Man, the wave pool is cool. I feel like I missed out. There was nothing like that.

That's wild. There was like an indoor water park somewhere. It rained. I mean, Seattle's a much bigger city. But like it rained so much that I don't think a water park was economically viable. Yeah, I suppose. Like what? Anywhere. Not even

160 days a year people are going to come use this thing. I mean, there's a lot. Yeah. But it's cold out there. I'm not saying it doesn't rain but 60 days. But then it's cold. Yeah. That shit was like 100 days max. Well, not even. Yeah, That shit was like a hundred days max. Well, not even probably.

Yeah. Like 80 days. Maybe we had the lily pads and the alligators where you could like run across that had like the cargo. We'd always try to, you'd try to run across them and they're like, do not do that. Cause at least once a day you'd see some kid just biff it right into the side of the pool.

Of course. His ribs or something. You're like, you're seven. Now you have broken ribs. Eating that, like that cafe fucking, what's the word? I'm looking for a snack shop or whatever.

The snack bar, man, like $15 hot dog. Those fries were crazy good. Watermark French fries were like crispy. Over fried. Hard fried, yeah. Yeah, man. I'm hungry as shit. Me too, I'm hungry. Speaking of which, what's your fifth pick? My fifth, okay. Listen, man. I'm hungry as shit. Me too. I'm hungry. Yeah. Speaking of which, what's your fifth pick? My fifth pick?

I'm hungry. Listen, guys. Okay. First of all, remember last week? I'm not an idiot. Wait. What was that? I know that fireworks are dangerous.

Oh, yeah. It was mostly a bit. It was mostly a bit. I haven't listened yet. No, but the black cat did blow up in my hand. That did happen. Yeah. But then David went on this kick about...

It's like, so nothing happens. I'm like, yes, it does. People do blow their hands off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. But you still don't know anybody who it happened to. No. Nampay and I launch Roman candles at each other.

Yeah, we used to have fights all the time. So that's why my last pick is fireworks. Yes. It's just like, especially when I was... Because in Washington State, you can buy... There's so many Indian reservations. Yes. why my last pick is fireworks yes it's just like especially when i was because in washington state you can buy there's so many indian reservations we go to auburn and that's where we would go we would drive up to washington and they'd sell them to kids and like it's like i i guess it's very dangerous but it was like the high point it would be the high point of my summer yeah at me and

robbie andrews, we'd go around. He had pegs on his bike, so we'd stick bottle rockets in the pegs and shoot them out of there. We'd make bottle rocket guns out of toilet paper rolls and make little guns. We would do crazy shit. Me and Kevin Fish made an electric chair out of tinfoil. Yeah, we made an electric chair, and we put a G.I. Joe in it to see if it would melt the tin foil and whatever those things that would like flash so bright whatever they were called oh the flashbangs

and we would go shh shh shh and yeah they melted them pretty good yeah they melted them pretty good I used to shoot bottle rockets into water you remember the ground blooms the ones that would spin if you timed that right if you timed that right it would do it on top of water because it would press down on the water oh shit yeah interesting all kinds of

shit just taping shit to shit and blowing it up and shit to shit shooting ball rockets and i remember we used to hang out in this abandoned house and we'd take the stick off of the bottle rocket and throw it in the middle and light it and then whoever flinched was a coward or whatever see i i was always pretty scared. We'd have Roman candle fights. Yeah. I probably wouldn't do that anymore. But we'd do that.

That was about as buck as I'd get. I was always scared to like hold onto him. My friend Mikey. It doesn't, it just like, it kind of burnt. It's not like bad. Would you ever turn whistling pizza into bombs? No. Oh yeah.

You could like kind of hammer them out a little bit and then wrap them up in duct tape. Oh damn. And then they go. Now you're going to stand there owning a firework stand. Tell me y'all ain't got no screaming Mimi's, no whistling kitty chasers, no whirling butt cherries with or without the scooter stick.

What's that from? Joe Dirt. You're going to stand here owning a firework stand and tell me you ain't got no screaming Mimi's. Yeah, all that guy had was snakes. Snakes and sparklers. Yeah, snakes and popp no screaming Mimi's. Yeah. All that guy had was snakes, snakes, snakes and sparklers. Yeah. Snakes and puppets are not the tone he took though.

Owning a fireworks stand. What were you going to say? You're going to tell some story about your friend Mikey. We put a bottle rocket in his butt crack. He knew it. So we put a bottle rocket in his butt crack. Not like had jackass come out yet. Probably.

Okay. Probably. Yeah. So we, we put it in there and it wasn't like jammed in. So we, it was supposed to launch out and it, it, I forget exactly what happened,

but the wick fell off right in between his butt cheeks and it burned him. So it looked like a vampire. So then we drew a little face on it and it looked like he had vampire fangs burned into his butt. It was so tight. Oh God. It's so much. It's like,

so I understand not anyone listening. I, God. It's so much. It's like so, I understand not, anyone listening, I understand not letting your kids do it. Yeah. I would never let my kids do it. That being said, integral part of my childhood. Yeah, it's like football. Yeah, yeah, it's exactly like football. I'm real glad I did it.

No way would my kid do it. No way. Well, and that was a wild thing, too, because they were pretty easy. They weren't, you couldn't get them all the time in South Dakota, but you get them. I mean, there's tons of black cap factories everywhere. There's just like

huge Morton buildings full of like, we're talking like America's pride with like the size of a flatbed. And you're like, yeah, it fits perfectly in there. So I guess I'll just get this whole motherfucker. Beautiful fireworks. Fourth of July. It's coming up too.

It is coming up. I know. I got to work on the fifth. That's coming up too. It is coming up. I got to work on the 5th. That's so bummed. Too bad because whatever's going down is going to be hard. It's going down hard. You're going to have to have a big iced coffee that morning. I might even go get it for you. You might have to just stay awake all night.

Maybe I won't even work there anymore. Maybe. Sean, time for your final pick. Well, let's see here. I'm I'm gonna pick a simple one uh and it's one that's of a bygone era

but I'm gonna pick Slip and Slides oh those were yeah that was a great time I mean that was a great time man

I forget if it was Portland I think it's Portland you slip right in you slide what's the Buckman hit the bump take a dive

right in Buckman neighborhood they have this huge hill right by the Hollywood Theater and it's I don't know just a big ass hill and they'll put a gigantic slip and slide down it

up until five years ago I don't know if they're still doing it but yeah man that shit was as long as you set it out right because I remember those times you'd set it out and then like somebody

wouldn't check for rocks and you'd be like oh yeah slip and slide slip and slide was rife for getting hurt. I never really did a slip and slide. Really? It's like,

you could go bad. They got rid of them. You'd tear a nipple away. I was always like, sure it would go bad. That's why I never did it. It went bad more than good, but the times it was good,

it was like, that was tight. Yeah. And that was, that is a summer ass thing. Yeah. That was honestly, no parents around kind of thing

because they'd be like, no, I don't think, I don't think you no parents around kind of thing because they'd be like no i don't think i don't think you're doing that yeah because you would be doing it wrong you'd go like fucking well they're fucking ass first or whatever you just you if i'm not mistaken there were like spikes that you had to put in it and you're just like this is a whole thing as well and you would always overshoot it like you remember like you'd go and like somehow like end up going off. Cause you'd tear up. They'd crack about a mile,

which had a bump in it. Remember that? Yeah. Into a little pool at the end, right? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe into a pool.

Yeah. Fun on paper. Like real fun on paper. Yeah. Fun to put in front of a kid. Kids will do it. No, they were fun,

but just really dangerous. Very, very dangerous. Um, yawning. My really dangerous. Very, very dangerous. Yawning. My body clock, which is a term you're really in love with right now. I'm really digging it. Thinks it's, what, 6.30 here.

So what's nine hours from now? Yeah. 15.30. 3 a.m. Yep. I mean, hey, I'll be in bed by 10 this evening. Yeah, slip and slides, man. Slip and slides. I mean, hey, I'll be in bed by 10 this evening. Cartier. Yeah, slip and slides, man.

Slip and slides. Since I'm the only one with a pick left, I'm not going to take it. Yeah, water fights were a much bigger thing in our cul-de-sac. You're right. Shit. I blew it. You're right. You're not going to take that? That's a good pick.

I probably won't. I have another thing I want to take. But do give me credit for it. But like squirt guns and water balloons. I remember just cups of water. Yeah. Do you remember? Sometimes somebody would have a hose and they'd turn that on people. Remember that feeling when you first realized like, oh,

so it's not the end of the world if I get wet. I feel like we just talked about this. We did talk about it because we talked about how there were kids who were like, I can't get wet. My mom said this outfit. Oh God. It's a hundred degrees. He got it first. Are you wearing a Burberry suit? Like,

what the fuck do you mean? Rob said, those are your good clothes. Yeah. I'm unsupervised. Fuck you. That's such a blatant lie. Like your mom talks to her at five o'clock when she gets home.

You coward. Yeah. It's hot out. Stand outside for 10 minutes. That was the thing. You're like, it's, it ain't, it's, it's not, it's hot out stand outside for 10 minutes that was the thing you're like it's it ain't it's it's not it's not gasoline gasoline no it's just crazy to me like what do you mean you can't get wet yeah and don't you want to i was always wet always i was wet my whole childhood

those kids that would like we'd be going to the pool or whatever and they'd be wearing jeans and you're like what the fuck are you doing? Put on your suit. Because if I'm going swimming, that's pretty much what I'm wearing for the rest of the day. It's summer right now. Not one of us is wearing pants. I have a sweatshirt for some ungodly reason. It's a cool look. I mean, shorts and sweatshirts are cool. It's time-tested.

Yeah, it works. June Gloom is just breaking through though, actually. It's nice. I love this June Gloom. Time for my final pick and with my final pick I'm going to take ooh ooh I had to do two

I'm going to take camping I'm going to go with camping kid camping but with like I never got to go really twice it was with my family again. I had a lot of fun family memories. But like... Yeah.

Yeah, but like it was always rad like when they would let you bring your bike to the campground. Oh, then you can... Yeah. And then you'd like ride your bikes around the campground and then you'd meet up with other kids

and you'd go on like weird little camping adventures. Dude, the great outdoors. That's what they're doing. I have a question. Do you think camping is a big Northwest thing? It was huge for us. Yeah. I would go camp elsewhere.

We would go camping too, like with like groups of my mom's friends. Yeah. Yeah. It was huge. Like other people would come along. Yeah. It'd be like a lot of people. The way other people, the way like some people, I guess, go on vacations together.

We would like go camping together with other, other groups of people. Not the Jordans. No? We gotta go camping this year. We should go camping. Let's go camping this summer. I love it now. Not the Jordans. No? We gotta go camping this year. We should go camping this summer. I love it now. We will, yeah.

I think it's a blast now. I would love to go camping. Nature shit, I'm way past the point where I'm like, no, it's boring. It is not. It's the best.

It's the best shit. Getting out of a city, just chilling out. Everything about camping is fun too. The work of it. I love it. Setting up a tent.

And being up early and we're making breakfast or like, I love getting the fire going. Yeah, I love you. And being up early and we're making breakfast or like planning the fire going. Yeah. I love planning the meals and then like, I love cooking

when you're camping. It's so much fun. Oh, we're making this tonight and everybody kind of helps out. Like, it's like community. It's,

it's so much fun camping. We got to do it, man. That was everybody waves. That's my favorite. Everyone's like, everyone's friends. Oh yeah.

Yeah. What's up? And then at night time, just, everyone's friends. Oh yeah. Yeah. What's up? Wave. And then at night time, just getting hammered. Hammered. That's more of an adult thing now. Yeah.

No, no, no. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's true. And the way you said it to him, just picture it like a nine year old,

like let's fucking get it. Just drinking boons farm. Oh gosh. I loved it. I loved every part of it as a kid like you go on little adventures during the day whittling i used to whittle the fuck out of sticks all the time combining two of my picks boats and camping uh my dad we would go to puget sound and he would let me like he'd him and my little sister would sleep on the boat and then i bring a friend up and like we would go camp on these little islands oh yeah just bring a tent over that's cold ass water though yeah camp on meals

island we did yeah yeah shout out to me i'll braid out uh yeah man she does roll yeah camping solid pick yes that's my final pick. Camping. Word. Okay. So just to recap, David, you went first and you took really long bike rides, mobbing on a house, the ice cream man, water parks, and then fireworks. Sean, you went second. You took the pool, sleepovers, sneaking out, the mall, and then slip and slides. Yeah. I went last and I took the river the movies

slurpees marathoning video games and camping yep we left some good shit on the board i didn't leave a ton you didn't no summer camps was the one i almost took i know that's i think like we have listeners all over the country all over the world and thank you for listening there are certain summer like we grew up on the West Coast. You were in the Midwest, so I don't know how it was there. Young and restless. I didn't know that. On the East Coast,

it seems like summer camps are a way bigger thing. I think so. I feel like they go places for like a month. Yeah, I never even knew anybody. We had about a week at a time. Smith and I would go to the Explorers. We'd go to Rapid City for the week or Wisconsin Dells for the week.

Ours were like, I had one sleepover camp for a week. The rest of them were day camps. I went to one. I love day camps. Oh, summer day camp? Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking. Also, I was going to pick sports camps because there was always a football camp in the summer and I used to really love it.

I forget who's basketball. I never went to a football camp. No? You can believe that. Old Splits Jordan? I didn't go to any as a kid kid. I went to like basketball camps and stuff. No, I went, I don't even.

No. No. I think it was Damon Stoudemire's basketball camp. Nice. I think. You ever see it? Did you see him? Yeah.

They would always be there. Yeah, that's shout out to Enos Cantor. He's going around the country right now doing, he just did one in North Dakota. Take it down South, Enos. You know what I mean? But you're from North Dakota. Yeah, you live in Sioux Falls, North Dakota. Say it at dinner. We'll get kicked out.

Bismarck, right? I'll get us kicked out. Yeah, the great state he's always going on about. You're talking about how dope Bismarck was growing up? How they eat that chis-lack. Yeah, do you know all that rollerblading in Bismarck? Somewhere there is a guy named Shane who rollerblades in Bismarck. Rollerblading in Bismarck.

Like walking to Memphis. Wearing out a summer song was always kind of fun, but that was more teen than kids. I still do that. I had making out with people. Oh, nice. Because you had all that free time, so it was a lot easier. You were such a cooler kid than me.

You were. You were smoking cigarettes and making out? Most people were talking out of sleepover. So check this shit out. I was in, I was probably sixth grade. I think they were in eighth. So one of my friends, I was, his older sister liked me. So jackpot.

She was in eighth grade. I was in sixth grade. So I'm like, what? And then his girlfriend, so his older sister would have this girl stay over. He would have me stay over. All of a sudden, we're just like kids that are in a sleepover together. It was gnarly. And his dad was not the dad to give a shit.

His dad would go to bed at like eight or he'd go into his room. We probably just got hammered. But yeah, we would, you know, that was, I mean, one of the first,

he did, we played true that he dared me to kiss his sister. And I'm like, you, you're gnarly, but it comes back to you. A snoopy little devil. Cause you're a snoopy little devil. Yeah, you are. You are a snoopy little devil. You're a kissable devil.

Because you're coming downstairs, you only kiss to shut up, and the whole time you're kissing. The whole time you're up there kissing. We didn't even know it started there, and so it ends there. Adam, shut the fuck up. I'm trying to go to sleep. I'm trying to kiss up here.

I'm a snoopy little devil. I would just sit there. Adam, knock it the fuck off. Trying to fall asleep so I can dream about smooching girls. You all maniac? Yeah.

Yeah, old so-and-so over here just smoking cigars. Oh, man. What'd you do when you snuggled up? Smoked big fat stogies. I shushed kids

and smoked cigars, man. While you're around me and everything was safe, smoking a cigar. We want to hear yours, of course. I'm sure yours are different than ours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the subreddit.

Big shout outs to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Hell yeah. Now that I have returned from my journeys, I will be back in that slack. The slack has been popping in the meantime. And we'll be adding to that popping soon. Shout out to fucking super producer. Super producer.

Super crowd surfer. Super world champion Toronto Raptors cheering on motherfucker Marissa. She was there. super producer, super crowd surfer super world champion Toronto Raptors cheering on motherfucker Marissa she was there Jurassic Park shout out to Pop the Band

thank you guys it was just fun being on the show it will have not happened at this point but I will say now on a Saturday I am thinking about flying up a day early I'm going up a day, I'm going up on Tuesday. Are you going to go to that concert? Uh,

depending. I haven't bought my ticket yet, but I'm going to go. Well, if you're going to go up on Tuesday, why wouldn't you? Yeah. I mean,

I, well, I didn't know about it until like a couple hours ago, but yeah, I know. Yeah. Depending on like the logistics, but yeah,

I'm going to try to go up that night anyway. We'll fucking see. Yeah. I'll see what those prices are today. We'll frippin see. Somebody tweeted. I do not know who it was, but it was the funniest thing they go imagine e40 saying pascal siakam oh dude that was pdx brochure light is that who that was john yeah i don't know what anybody just said oh picture you know pascal siakam on the uh picture hit e40 saying pascal

siakam pascal siakam pascal siakam. When I saw that, I just did it. I did it like 50 times out loud. That's John. He's at PDX Broscholite, like socialite. B-R-O-S-O-C-I-L-I-T-E. Yeah. I think. Flippin' hilarious is what that was.

Very funny guy. Fantastic on Twitter. Hell yeah. I once called him the bro-it laureate of Portland Twitter. I may as a poet. Anyway, I know when people are good at Twitter because I am not. So I love it when someone's good at it. Cause I'm like, here's a show or a skateboard video. How do you feel about Shane? How do you feel about Shane? How do you feel about Shane? I do anything for Shane. Oh my God. Yeah. Anything

in the world. He's a fantastic comedian. Uh, One of my best friends in the world. I love being around him. I miss him every second he's not around. He was one of the first people that was ever nice to me. I can't trust any of this because you said he's good at Twitter and he's bad at it. And you're also crossing your legs in that strange way. I've been crossing my legs the whole time. Sometimes I'll tuck. I've been tucking

it under the table to get it a tighter cross. I don't know when this started. I don't know when this started, but it started. I've never heard anybody say they tucked it in it a tighter cross i don't know when what is going on i don't know when this started but it started it started i've never heard anybody say they tucked it in for a tighter cross so i guess this is growing up you'll be at my show no watching waiting we argued for weeks on if commiserating was a word or not. Commiserating. Yeah, you're good at it.

Say it ain't so. I will not go. Turn the lights off. Carry me home. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Old Blink. Yeah, dude. Yep.

Blink-182. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to all of them. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out. Sorry about this episode, Mom. Yeah. Blink-182. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to all of them. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out. Sorry about this episode, mom. Big shout outs.

I, you know. Yeah, she gets it. Yeah, she's seen as all these things. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do know you, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Rasheed Wallace. Shout out to Rasheed Wallace.

Shout out to Corden on the fridge, dude. Shout out to James Corden. Fucking, dude, as much as like, so like, we went to London to pre-shoot sketches and then immediately went to New York for the Tonys and then came back to LA and landed in LA. 12 hours off or something. Monday morning. So got to LA Monday morning. Went and did two episodes of our show.

And then Monday night, he slept in his bed Monday night. They came and picked me up to drive us to the desert for a shoot, which I can't even talk about. Yeah. And nobody will be able to see until next summer. Yeah. But it's going to be like nothing anyone's ever done in late night before. That's all I can say about it.

That's true. And then shot that sketch that night, came back, did another show the next day, flew to London, and then did a week of shows in London. And now Corden is filming this British sitcom, a revival of it, Gavin and Stacey, that he was originally in.

Oh, is that the one that was like what blew him up? Yeah. Does he get tired? I don't know. He's fucking crazy. I mean, like, granted, you know, like when we flew back to LA, it was on like CBS's jet, and that was fucking crazy. I mean, granted, when we flew back to LA, it was on CBS's jet, and that was fucking rad. But even with the nicest hotels and all that stuff, it's fucking amazing, man.

The dude is gnarly. He rules. And to think, his career all started right here on AFE. Before that, he was a fairly unknown nice person. We've broken a lot of acts. Yeah, we really have. Roxane Gay got her start on here. We did a lot for that Swartzen kid.

That Swartzen kid, I think he's going places. I think he'll be alright. Dualsays on the Daily Show now. Dualsays on the Daily Show now. Shout out to Katie Nolan. Katie Nolan rules. Yeah, we will see you in New York. Yeah, we will.

Jew York. He said it. Yeah, that was the Jewish person. Jew York. I had two bagels in two days, man. It was awesome. I bet you did. Yeah, we will. Jew York. He said it. Yeah, that was the Jewish person. Jew York. I had two bagels in two days, man. It was awesome. I bet you did. Yeah.

Shout out to AFE Subreddit. I don't know if I said that yet, but if not, shout out to AFE Subreddit. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sha-clackity. So glad you didn't say Badozzi. Yeah. Oh, I said Badozzi!

Ha ha! That was a HeadGum Podcast.