All Fantasy Everything - Summer (w/ Sean Jordan, Zak Toscani and Mike Mulloy)

Episode Date: July 13, 2017

The summer is halfway over, which is the wackest way of saying YOU STILL HAVE HALF A FUCKING SUMMER. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Sean Jordan, Zak Toscani and Mike Mulloy to draft the summer. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that has to catch a flight in like two hours. So this part's going to be real short. That's the podcast it is. Today, we are drafting... Today we are drafting Summer. Just the idea of Summer. It's one of those wide open ones.

Could go anywhere. Could go absolutely anywhere. And joining us for that, we have Mike Malloy. Hello, everybody. Friend of the podcast, returning to the podcast. People's champ. You see it? At, what is it?

At? Fake Mike Malloy. At Fake Mike Malloy. That's me. On Twitter. Do you have an Instagram? It's awesome. Fake Mike Malloy across all platforms. It's a cross-plat's me. On Twitter. Do you have an Instagram? It's awesome. Fake Mike Molloy across all platforms.

It's a cross-platform situation. It's a classic Kloss platform. Kloss? Yes. Kloss platform. Maybe. Might not be a good one. The last time I thought it wasn't going to be a good one, you loved it.

It was the words that make you sound smart. Speaking of which, we have Zach Toscani. Yes. Did you win that draft? In my heart? Absolutely. Basically, you did.? In my heart? Absolutely. Basically, you did. Didn't I win?

I swear I did. I didn't win the one that I was winning. Oh, it might have been Sean. I think Sean won. It was between Sean and Ian. Yeah. I'm still undefeated. That's true.

Maybe we will put a poll up for this one. Oh, speaking of which, I forgot to put a poll up for the last one. Will I do it now? Basically, I don't know. Oh, I meant to, at the top of the podcast, Mike, do you have anything to promote? This is coming out on Thursday. Listen up, nerds. I got a show Saturday at Meltdown.

It's called On Deck. It's pretty tight. We got Zach Toscani on it. He's great. It's very fun. I did it once. It's fantastic. It's such a fun show.

It really is. It's fun. It's different. It's cool. It's eight bucks. It's BYOB. Come get shit-faced with us. We have a good time.

July 15th. July 15th, 9 p.m. Definitely going to go chill if you guys are about doing it. Tickets are online. Get them. They're great. The end. Yeah.

I'm very excited for the show. It's going to be fun. So that's what you're promoting, too. Yes, I am. I'm glad we got to it. Two birds, one stone right there. Two birds, one stone. Add Zach Toscani with a K.

Yeah. Z-A-K-T-O-S-C-A-N-I. Toscanini. Mop the floor. I'm glad we got to it. Two birds, one stone right there. Add Zach Toscani with a K. Yeah, Z-A-K-T-O-S-C-A-N-I. Dos Canini. Mopped the floor this morning at the crib. Mopped the floor this morning. With just like, was it even attached to a mop handle? Well, someone, it had detached from the mop handle and someone had duct taped it. I duct taped it. When I wetted it, when I got it wet, as they say, with uh it the duct tape didn't hold up so i had to

just use my hand so yeah when ian came out of his room i was just on the floor like scrubbing it the floor was soaked it was i appreciate you doing that weird time to mop yeah weird to walk out i was gonna do it after everybody dipped and you know it was just zach and i was like i was gonna mop and uh sometimes you just you know you feel, it was just Zach and I. I was like, I was going to mop. And I'm glad you did. Sometimes you just, you know, you feel the urge and you got to go with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that.

I mean, we had some beers last night. I walked out. I was like, did we just get crazy? There was blood all over the skies. I cleaned it all up. The reason Zach was mopping is Ian and I are always like, you're ugly and nobody likes you. And we always go to big balls in our gowns and things. Nobody's going to take you

to the ball, you little pig. You're a porky little pig. You gross little pig. You stink and everybody says so. Marissa is shaking her head. S-N-My-Day-H.

Sean Jordan. At Sean S. Jordan Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on the gram who doesn't like that right returning from a trip to Portland how's Portland it was cool I was in Kansas City first oh yeah Kansas City yeah dude hung out with Tech N9ne a little bit

what? no I didn't I was looking for Tech N9ne yeah we were in Kansas City and it was tight two worst flights of my whole life though like talk about it I really thought the plane was just like okay i hope all my friends like me as much as they were ever going to i really thought it was fucking dunzo really they apologized that's how buck it was like they apologized profusely it was just shaking a lot on the way into denver and the way out of denver yeah oh what is it thunderstorms no that's

what i didn't get there were barely even clouds i don think it was just, uh, I don't know what it was, but I made it, you know? Were you getting hammered? No, I didn't. I didn't have any goddamn money to even get hammered. Like yesterday I brought some shooters on the plane. Yeah. So it was perfect. Some shooters like future friends who have gotten it.

Fun little sky roller coaster. Yeah. I brought a couple of guns on the plane. Yeah. Yeah. It was cool. I'm glad to be be i'm glad to be back though good glad to have you back uh anything to promote anything fun coming up denver uh next week or the i think the 19th through the 24th shows are on my website uh seanjordancomedy.com there you go uh and i

don't have anything coming up the i was gonna do wilmington but they double booked us and i leaped at the opportunity to not have to do something isn't that when you're like oh no no no no no no and then you can you can bank a little like them feeling bad yes my agents were like we'll clear it up and make sure you get in there I'm like or or check this out or what if Ian gets another little week enough so I'm sorry people in Wilmington we're gonna come out. I will make up those dates. And now we all get to go boss up and on deck on Saturday.

Well, I might be in Portland. Also, I might just not go anyway. Just to sort of create Real supportive friend. Real good guy. Just to sort of create this air of mystery

about myself. What a pal. Friend of the show. Oh, boy. You know what I could do instead of coming to support my friend? Nothing.

I can just not do anything. Play FIFA 15. Not even a current one. Not even an up-to-date one. We can throw together a live AFE. I shouldn't have even said it on air. It just came up. Well, listen, we're drafting summertime,

and the way we determine the draft order is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. All the listeners are so goddamn cool. I just felt like saying that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, very cool.

Oh, shout out to, I want to give a shout out to Greg at GWISS on Twitter. Just send us a real nice message, which I will share with you guys off the air. Real nice. Going through a tiny little rough spell, but everything's all good now. And he said the Karaoke Gems episode helped him get through it. Shout out to you. Fuck the Sacramento

Kings, but we like you anyway. Yeah. Actually, I like the Kings. I take that back. They're coming together nicely. I like what they're doing. back I take fuck the Sacramento Kings back How many people do you think actually call it Sacktown? Because that's always been a hilarious thing Well he's an editor at Sacktown Royalty So at least he does

At least your boy Yeah mom come on down to Sacktown It is Sacktown I know Every way you slice it I don't care for that city it's it is sacktown i know every way every way you slice it fitting don't i don't care for that city brandon beavel old well current professional skateboarders from sacktown so i you know that

gets a pass with me back in the day when we were kids we looked i looked up every beavel in the phone book and there was like three b beavels yeah i called them all on a landline from the hotel and just asked i was like hey are you, are you Brandon Beeble, the professional skateboarder? And none of them said yes, but I was like, what was my next play? Be like, alright, cool, and just hang out. Yes, you are. Now I got your number, dude. Now I got your landline.

I'm coming over, let's skate. Yeah, what were you going to say? I don't know. It was me and Rudeboy. It was like 10 years ago. And I was just like, dude, we should call Beeble. And he's like, hell yeah, we should. Yeah. Neither one of us had a plan, a second step to that plan.

Nan Pei and I did that with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. We went through the phone book and looked for Abdul-Jabbars. There were only 4K Abdul-Jabbars because we were big basketball fans. And we finally, we called all 4K Abdul-Jabbars. Man, like freshman year of college, like 2003, Mark Cuban had his phone number on the Dallas Mavericks website. And you could call, you would get his assistant. But I called once as like Kirk Heinrich and then got through to his line, but then just left a voicemail. Really?

Which he never. How old were you? You called as Kirk Heinrich? Yeah, I was like 19. Okay. Yeah. So you had a man's voice no i did not and why would kirk like because i was like i'm calling to see if like you guys

trade for me it's like why would you city boy my friend no big deal university kansas anyway yeah white guy okay what is one of those about? Glasses. Glasses. Rex Becks. Yeah. Rock, paper, scissors. Between the three. Oh, yeah.

And it goes on shoot. And it's out of one, baby. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, yeah. Holler at your boy. Sean Cougar, Mel and Jordan, number one. You were talking about needing that number one pick. I know, but I had had a couple last night. I look today. It's still going to be my number one pick. I know, but I had had a couple last night. I look today.

It's still going to be my number one pick just because I think it's fun. So my number one pick for summer. Wait, wait, wait. What's the order? Oh, shit. Jesus. Screw your fucking head on. It's my first day over here.

You go jet setting? Jet set around the country while we're all toiling back here in LA. And then you traipse. And I'm sorry to use the word traipse, but then you sorry to use the word traipse but then you traipse into the studio gallivanting gallivant into the studio throw caution to the wind and albeit you were on time

bite your thumb at all the conventions did I bring up, have we brought up yet that like caution to the wind and felonious monk were actually about 10 minutes apart people might think that I set that a week apart but I set it about 10 minutes apart. People might think that I set that week apart. The real time. But I set it about 10 minutes apart. Too dumbest thing I've ever said. And in fairness, felonious monk is a real guy.

Not the guy I thought he was. Yeah, definitely not the guy you thought it was. But a real person. I know him. He's a good guy. So I'm going to do something kind of different than what I said last night. Zach's going first because it's always going to be a weird one. And then I'm second.

We're just going to go clockwise after that. So Zach's first. Myself, Ian, the be a weird one. And then I'm second. We're just going to go clockwise after that. So Zach's first. Myself. Ian. The Maloyer. The Maloyer Maloyer. All right.

Fantastic. Well, Zach's is Connie. Okay. You're on the clock. Okay. So first pick. This is based on a little recency bias because of what we did yesterday. Oh!

I'm going to... My first pick is the shower immediately after coming home from the beach that's such a good pick yeah dude god yeah it can be quick just sitting back yeah i'm thinking about it i'm relaxing now that the room likes it absolutely but it's like the best shower you ever thought we're assholes we weren't gonna like that you get we were talking we were uh celebrating it just yesterday absolutely but sean and mike weren't there you know they weren't there for the magic i was on a plane but i didn't want to be we went to the damn manhattan beach yesterday oh yeah i was gonna ask you so is that that's not the one in santa monica that's not the pier beach no there's no many piers there's like an entire coast talking about the one with the goddamn pier it already happened

again the one that you would think is the fucking pier at santa monica pier that's the santa monica that's the beach that i assume there's a manhattan beach here as well there's many yeah don't they stop manhattan beach uh circa day santa monica el segundo yeah kind of all right kind of near el segundo yeah by the way we were hanging out with uh our friend karen zach was in town shout Circa de Santa Monica. El Segundo? Yeah. Kind of? All right. Kind of near El Segundo? Yeah. By the way, we were hanging out with our friend Karen Zach was in town. Shout out to Karen. And her friend was this woman named Summer who's 22 years old was hanging out with us

and hadn't heard of any Tribe Called Quest songs. Yeah. Did she know who Tribe Called Quest was? No. When we picked her up, she left her wallet at her house. And then later on in the drive, we were going through El Segundo. And I was like, yeah, I don't want to leave your wallet here. And she was like, what?

Zach did one of his classic. Classic. Classic Zach bits. Yeah. After 20 minutes of silence, I say that. And they're stunned. Wait, I didn't know that guy in the back could talk. Yeah, yeah, he does.

He pipes up sometimes. And she was like, oh, I don't know what that is. And I was like, oh, it's like a Tribe Called Quest song. She's like, I don't know. I was like, yeah, I guess it was. It's like 92, 93. And she was like, that was before I was born. So is that what's going on in the streets now?

Kids just don't. Because I knew the oldies. Yeah. Yeah. I guess the Beatles were popping in 1980, 81. I mean, I could tell you shit from like any era back when I was a kid. Maybe I was just super cool. Maybe that's what was going on.

To have never heard of a group like a tribe called Quest just because you were born after they were popular. They're still relevant. They performed on the Grammys this year. Yeah, they had an album this year. Anyway, fuck her. I didn't even meet this girl, but I want to strongly state, fuck Summer. By the way, not the person. We're not drafting the best parts of summer the person.

Enemy of the podcast. Enemy of the podcast. That's a fun one that we've never heard. Is she the first enemy of the podcast? She's the first enemy of the show for making me feel old. She's actually a very lovely person. I wasn't born yet. Enemy of the podcast.

Never even met her. Hate her. She was really nice and there's nothing wrong with her she's a very pleasant person but fuck her she was just born wrong that's it it's not her fault she's lovely i hope she lives a life full of fulfillment spiritual economic and relationship wise i can't imagine a bar 22 right now that'd be crazy yeah yeah that liver would be a couple shades more purple yeah it wouldn't be as dense and

rock hard and full of holes but yeah we went to the we went to the beach and you lay out in the sun maybe you get in the water a little bit and then that shower yes where you what who was saying it feels like you get like got like a salt treatment that day man pay who's a friend of the podcast friend of the pod yeah obviously knows the whole tribe called quest catalog uh yeah you get like a salt treatment you get a little sun yeah then you wash it all off and i like to put on some white clothes after that just just just to put on like the contrast with my newly bronzed skin just uh like a linen if i had a linen outfit that's what we're doing yeah like richard branson yeah like he lives all the time necker island Island. I used to have terrycloth polo shirts.

Really? I feel like I've seen you in a terrycloth polo. The stretchy. The stretchy. Yeah. Hell yeah. It's the best feeling. I can see that.

It is fun. You just feel so, so good after that. It puts you in a super mellow mood. You just drank a bunch of those Marley M mellow mood teas and you just calm the fuck down yeah think about your you never had a Marley's mellow mood

they calm your shit down real hard like you just had three or four of them like I gotta fucking calm down I gotta level out I gotta level out

Sean's just shotgunning them to try to chill out I need to chill faster not enough just a bit like it's like a real like a real light heroin situation. I drove to Bloomington and stared inside Nicole's window one night.

So I had to drink five Marley Mellow Moods to calm down. Listen to the Velvet Underground, sit in the basement and drink a Marley's Mellow Mood. Just watched her raise her daughter for a second and I had to calm down. Yeah, it is a fun. Have you had a Marley's Mellow Mood? Yeah. what's up just call it walk me through it i had one because frat uh friend of the podcast frat um he he's like hella into marley's mellow moods and i just wanted to try one i was convinced they

had uh weed in them but they don't because you can buy them at the store yeah so i was like all right i'll do it and it just it might even placebo, but I was real chill after I drank it. I bet it is a placebo effect. Probably. But that's my, it's always been my thing with placebo. Whatever gets the job done. Yeah, true. Is it still placebo at that point?

Because it's doing what it's supposed to be doing. Ipso facto, is it placebo? Or is it just actually working? Malloy, you're retort? Malloy working why are you putting on brass knuckles right now oh dear uh yeah no excellent pick taking the shower immediately after coming back from the beach yes i just getting get taking off the wet clothes putting on dry clothes yeah getting all the sand out of the crevices what to drive that beach thing that's going to be every weekend

yeah absolutely Saturday before you guys go to Malloy's show and I go do whatever it is I'm going to do that night we should maybe go to the beach again holy shit you know how tight that sounds to me to go to the beach all day on Saturday you know shit maybe I won't go to Malloy's show either

right exactly hey guess what enemies of the show to go to the beach all day on Saturday. You know, shit, maybe I won't go to Maloy's show either. Right, exactly. We're going to be up too good of a time. Hey, guess what? Enemies of the show. Oh, no. We're enemies of the show. From now on. Enemies of the show.

Hey, you know what? Whenever I go out of my way to put you guys over and say, hey, go check out my fun friends. And he does. I do it a lot. I'm going to say, go check out Enemies of the Show. Enemies of the Show. Ian Carmel and Sean Gordon.

Maloy will post about other shows that I'm doing. Yeah. That's what I do. I'm a good pal. I'm going to put my friends over. I had a blast when I did on deck. And you put me on just that night. Yeah.

And I had such a good time. Because we had you planned for the next month. I had a dropout. I called to the pen. I said, bring in. Send in the writing. Send him in. Bring in that sidearm writing with one side of a mustache that's not shaved.

This picture. You guys are going to have fun. a mustache that's not shaved. This picture. You guys are going to have fun. Sean, it's time for your first pick. So it's going to be a broad one. Oh, broads. Sean picks broads. Oh, excellent pick, Sean. When a broad comes strolling by,

fresh out of a League of Women's voters meeting, straw hat plopped right on top of the hair with the pin through it. Showing just the right amount of upper ankle. I mean, you're describing a different broad than I was talking about. Oh, the museum? Yeah. I'm going to pick a nice little barbecue. Nice little BBQ. Yeah a nice little barbecue. Nice little BBQ.

Yeah, nice little BBQ. There's absolutely nothing better to me than a chill. Ideal number of guests. Excuse me? What's your ideal number of guests at this barbecue? Look at you, dude. Yeah. Digging in there with the right questions.

That's what I like to hear. 25. That's a good number number that is a good number it's a pretty solid i don't like too many but i like enough to where you can break off and there can be like four things going on 25 is like a ceiling for me i don't want i don't want much that's why i like it like the brongers those barbecues are just oh the absolute. They are good. Yeah, they are good. Hella dank. What are your favorite barbecue foods? Now, I've been known to not eat that much at a barbecue,

which is an odd thing. Really? I just bring a 40. You like the liquid diet. Yeah, yeah. I've been known to drink. I like to be able to go somewhere where I can bring a 40, and it's got barbecue written all over it.

I've been known to pick up the food, and then after the 40 and some whiskey, maybe I'll go in there and get some food after everyone's had their fill. I like baked beans. I'm a baked bean guy. Baked beans! You're gonna draft a barbecue? Number one. And then baked beans is the reason you give us? Do I need to say it three times? You could have drafted a dark one-room apartment.

Baked beans. If we ever have a luggage draft, Sean's going to draft a fucking bindle, number one overall. Now, on deck, you said BYOB. Does that mean bring your own baked beans? Can I bring my own baked beans? Can I bring my own can of baked beans? BYOB. Because there are very dark corners of Nerd Melt where I can sit and eat baked beans.

You could have let somebody who actually likes barbecues pick barbecues, and you could have taken a metal trash can on fire in a railroad yard. Yeah, Sean's favorite mode of transportation is just the back of a freight train. I like to eat the last thing they ate at World War II, like when they ran out of all their rations. Sean, where can we see you coming up? Wherever the trains take me. I'll be riding the rails riding the rails making

towns never a day without a black eye i love your pick but the baked beans thing to me i like baked beans i like a good baked it's not your like favorite barbecue food is it there's a whole let's just say like there there's a whole red checkerboard tablecloth laid out on a long wooden table and on that table is pretty much any food that anyone could ever hope to find at a barbecue. Okay. But they're like, Sean, you can only have one. You can only eat one of these foods. And you're like, say no more.

Obviously, it's not going to be baked beans. Say no more. I'll take the Vandekamp's baked beans. Now, is there an oddly big piece of uncooked bacon in there? There is? Well, then yeah. I think it'd be maybe just some dank ribs falling off the bone. There you go. That's a barbecue food. I love a dank rib falling off the bone.

You goddamn bullies. I could pick whatever I want to be my favorite food. It could be baked beans. I'm going to bust the damn tower if you don't pick beans first. I want you to know that. I always will. Get in here, Maverick. Coleslaw. Coleslaw is so fucking gross. Coleslaw Get in here, Maverick. Second pick, coleslaw. Coleslaw is so fucking gross. Coleslaw is such a hit or miss food for me. It's grown on me.

Mayonnaise and cabbage. It's grown on me too. When it's done right, with some good, like a brisket. Coleslaw looks like I threw it up. It's so gross. What do baked beans look like?

They look like baked beans. They look fine. I don't know what baked beans ever did to you. Nothing. Nothing. You acted like they did something. They never did anything for me either. Right. If we just drafted

barbecue foods, I wouldn't even be on my long list. What? It would be after most condiments. We're going to draft that one of these days, I guarantee it, and now it's going to be my first pick. Would you like a sweet bean? No, thank you. There's all this delicious food here, but would you

like to fill up with a sweet bean? I actually just, I take green beans and pour barbecue sauce on them and those are my baked beans. Sean, just eating a radish like an apple. Holding it in the palm of my hand, but really tiny. Sean, that's not an apple. It is an apple. I just hold it really tiny like a little claw. Do you know what I like at a barbecue?

It's like when the music will be a radio station and then you get local commercials. That feels very barbecue-y to me. Yeah. Like putting on a Spotify list or like playing records, you know, that's fine. But like give me that like Sony waterproof boom box playing like local radio. Let me get Big Boy in there. Hello. You been in a car accident recently?

I have Big Boy on the way here actually actually i was kind of bummed about it do you have an attorney at law that i might be able to call about this car accident yeah my back hurts a little bit you know what fucking throws me for a loop they always advertise that that lawyer big al and his name's not even al right they're like his name is attorney tony blah blah. And I'm like, why does he have to have a gimmick name? A.K.A. Big Al. Why can't he at least be Big Tony? That's his fucking name. Yes. It's very weird.

Big Tony's fine. I wouldn't trust a lawyer who doesn't even use this fucking Better Call Saul ass dude. What if he's on your team though? I don't want him on my team. Using a fake name? Nom de gore? I don't want him on my team. Fake Mike Maloyan is fake lawyer I gotta think

of a new one now that Salino and Barnes are fucking broken up oh yeah Salino and Barnes are going at each other

you know you can take Orfallian and Orfallian is that just LA or is that everywhere it's gotta be just LA

I've never heard lawyers Orfallian and Orfallian so you know let's say Orfallian can't take the call. Maybe Orphalion is going to take it. The name could be, I mean, it could be anything.

Give me Orphalion. We can't. Well, what about Orphalion? Coming right up. Done deal, Doug. Done and done. Orphalion does happen to be here. I have Orphalion and I can't get up.

You know what I mean? What do you, so games at a barbecue? Are you into that? Or what do you want? Like a badminton net? I love games at a barbecue. Like what are some games you like? I like Cornhole.

There's this game. There's this game where I don't, I don't even know what it's called. It's like PVC and it kind of looks like a ladder and it's like three rungs. With the golf balls on a string? Ladder ball? What do you call a ladder ball? Golf balls on a string? You got like two golf balls on a string and you throw it and wrap it around. Oh ball? The golf balls on a string? You got like two golf balls on a string

and you throw it and wrap it around? Oh yeah, like bolos. That's a really fun one. I like lawn darts if those can happen. Yeah.

I'll just kick a, like try to keep a soccer ball in the air. I just like, I don't know, I just like doing, just like where you kick a soccer ball around.

Do you think we could have a barbecue in our front yard or would that be weird? I think that, I think that it would not go over that well. No, I think so too. I think our neighbors would be like not happy about it. Just the ones.

Just the dudes next to us. I don't think they'd be scared. Oh, those scary dudes to the right? Uh-huh. Those dudes are scary. Very scary. I have an idea. We could just stomp them out.

No. Stop. Stop. We're done talking about it. I like one more. I like one more. One second. We could just go over there. And if they're eyeballing us, We could just stomp them out. No, stop. Stop. We're done talking about it. I like what Malloy's thinking. We could just go over there, and if they're eyeballing us, we could just throw them in trash cans. They will be eyeballing us.

I like Malloy's. I like where his head's at, and I'll like it even more after I've had the nine beers I'll be having at that barbecue. It would be so funny if we just had a buck, 25-person barbecue in the front yard. We could. We could open the house up and have a barbecue. I don't think we could. I don't see anything stopping us.

I think it's going to happen. I do. I see some stuff stopping us. You're going to have to mellow your blood out. You're going to have a couple of those Marley Melo teas. You're going to get a couple of those Marley's in your system. Marley Melo moods. Marley Melo moods.

The purple and the green. I can mix them. Balance them out. Perp crank. All right. Barbecue. Nice little barbecue. Playing some games. Listening to some music. Eating some baked beans. Perp crank. Alright. Barbecue. Nice little barbecue. Playing some games, listening to some

music, eating some baked beans. Some baked beans. Some Boston baked beans. Coleslaw, yeah, but it has grown on me. Coleslaw is disgusting. Any summer salad is just mayonnaise and something. Macaroni salad. Potato salad. Coleslaw is absolutely disgusting.

I don't like coleslaw. And that's what it is. Mayonnaise and cabbage, right? What kind of irishman are you the one who drinks my friend that's the only that's the only thing they really care about is if you drink or not yeah everything else and i do i do uh have a uh a very fair-skinned red-headed girlfriend that's true okay you're getting to 100 somehow uh a nice little barbecue fantastic it is now time for my pick car wheel what do you got my first pick and what i'm taking is it being light out until like

9 9 30 p.m oh fantastic it's it just it just opens up the possibilities on a day so much more i loved it as a kid i loved it as an adult i was in london earlier this summer and it was light because it's so far north it was just light out to like 10. That's bananas. Yeah. And I wonder at what point, and it happens every year when I'm like, damn, I can't believe it's still light out. 35 bullets in the clip over here, and I still say that. I know.

I can't believe it's still light out just because it's so astonishing. It sneaks right up on you. And then when the daylight savings time thing switches, and then it's like, oh, my God. Yeah. Not a fan. But you don't like uh aren't they trying to get rid of it in california whatever would keep the sun up later is what i'm in favor of yeah i don't know what the only benefit to the sun going down earlier is it's better for comedy but in la it's always nice out so it doesn't matter doesn't even matter yeah everyone's like

well yeah of course i go to comedy when it's light out because it's always light and dope out so yeah yeah right we can't we can't fight the the forces here you know how weird it'd be like in i don't Everyone's like, well, yeah, of course I go to comedy when it's light out because it's always light and dope out. Yeah. Right. We can't fight the forces here. You know how weird it'd be like in, I don't know, say South Dakota where I'm from. If it was light out until 10 o'clock in the middle of winter, it'd be odd. That would be weird. Yeah.

Just a screeching halt. I like to bring that up. I just like to have a nice little thought, you know? It's just so great. Like as a kid, you remember that when it would just like, it's like eight and you're still, like, out on your bike or, like, in the cul-de-sac or on the street or whatever or in Southie? Yeah. You know. Nature postpones your bed. Chasing another kid with a stick.

I didn't grow up. I know. I know you didn't. Sean, you seem to think, like, Malloy had this. I built. I have a world in my head that I grew up in. Sean has populated your childhood I grew up in a town called Marion

which have you ever heard of I'm sure you've heard the song Summer Girls by LFO right oh yeah they like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch it's about my town the guys who wrote it are like from two towns over so yeah it's our claim to fame and they're not hard I'll tell you that

they are very not hard they were light and funky. Yeah. That's what the LF was. Was it? Yeah, light funky ones. Oh, man. The light funky ones.

Can you imagine sitting in a room with a whiteboard full of possible band names? And that was what they landed on. And you eventually whittled it down to light funky ones? I can't imagine what was left on the cutting room floor. Oh, my God. What could possibly have been left out i don't know windbreaker but with the eight instead of the b just a band called scarf boat shoes guys question mark yeah it's a it's stay in conditioner leave

in conditioner was the licIC. Holy crap. Light, funky ones. Light, funky ones. Pretty bad. And then as an adult, I love like last night, we went and got dinner. We went to this place called, oh, I shouldn't say because we don't want to blow it up. Anyway, we went to this really dope restaurant in LA and had a full meal, had some beers, and then went back to the crib and it was still light out.

It's so nice. And then you have some beers beers leave the door open maybe yeah it's it's fantastic it just really expands the pot the potential of any day anyone that wants it dark sooner it's just there's so many more questions i have for him yeah why would you want it dark what kind of activities you get enough to well you know i don't mind the dark so let's unpack that a little bit see i would ask no questions and close the door on them yeah it's always dope to have a longer day also like in the winter even in la maybe even especially in la like when you're working and it's like you're leaving work at like six and it's fucking dark oh it's just depressing yeah yeah that was like well i guess i'll just go home and eat and just go back to bed, I guess.

And wait for the sun to come back. I guess I'll just go home and pretend to be dead until the sun comes back. Sometimes you never... I had this call center job in Portland for years, and I would go to work at 7, get off at 4, and there were times when it was dark going, dark on the way back, and I didn't have any goddamn windows.

So you're like, is it ever daylight? Yeah that you know is portland always dark do i even exist am i real if i'm not looking at my car how do i know it's there yeah i know it's like a good day when i don't even like want to play video games you know what i mean when i like want to go do outside so like yesterday we were just like like let's go to the fucking beach oh man and like we were talking about like we were just in the ocean like basically just thrashing in the waves just the simplest of things and we i mean it was bliss for like five hours it was can of bliss it was so much uh so yeah it being light out to like 9 30 p.m that's my pick mike mulloy it's time for your first pretty hyped my number one and number two picks are still on the board. Jason Tatum and Jalen Graham.

Two questionable swingmen. Good for you. How dare you talk about my sons that way. You're a big proud dude. I'm very proud of my sons. Watching the town outside. They're the best. That's actually one of the things

I did want to say when you mentioned I don't even want to watch TV because it's so nice out. I want to get to the point where I have outdoor TV. That's where I want to be in life. But back to my pick. Mike Malloy selects boating. Boating. Yeah.

It's the best. I love boating. Being on a boat, having some beers. It's great. You can jump in the water if you want. You can not. Maybe cast a line if you like that sort of thing. It's the best.

Where did you guys boat? Were you in the ocean? Yeah. So my family had a house in Buzzards Bay, which is like right before what's considered Cape Cod, but like it's the ocean. Like the Cape Cod Canal is right across from us. So we'd take the boat out there and go to,

there's a bar we used to always go to that you could pull your boat up to the dock. That's the best. Pulling a boat up to a bar is the dopest. This place had the best mudslides. Shout out to the chart room in Pocasset, Massachusetts. So they have these mudslides and they just give you cups of goldfish.

So you just sit on the lawn and you just eat goldfish and chug goddamn mudslides. That sounds amazing. give you cups of goldfish. So you just sit on the lawn and you just eat goldfish and, and chug goddamn mudslide. That's amazing. That definitely does. So much more downgraded scale. There's this place. I forget what it's called.

There's these like canals. It's not Venice. It's, it's South of like long beach here in LA. I forget what it's called, but you can rent kayaks and there's, I'll look it up after this and you can rent kayaks. And me and Canaan

went down there and like with like uh Canaan with Rachel or his anyway his like lady and then anyway we're just fucking Canaan there were five of us and uh there were five of us Barack Obama was with you just didn't know how to say it Kyle Canaan Barry Obama

little Barry oh dude uh and you would just kayak up to this bar and you would like rope your kayaks up and then just walk in and then we had like a bunch of margaritas and then got back in the kayaks cause you get a little extra buzz too between the water and the sun and it's just nice

and you're just wobbling around, I love, I grew up boating old Ivan Carmel, shout out to Ivan Carmel for once oh Ivan had a boat, still has a boat Ivan Carmel. Shout out to Ivan Carmel for once. Oh. Ivan. Had a boat. Still has a boat. But yeah, we would just take it out all the time. Go to lakes. Go to rivers. It's so fun.

I tell you, all our lives would be muchly improved by a boat. One of us with the means. I mean, Sean, if we pool our money together, we could buy a fucking oar. You better. You better have a lot of money then my friend it'd be great I don't know what boats cost so I don't even know if I do have that kind of money

I'm sure we could find out we were on a dock on the 4th I don't know like a used car I bet you could get a used boat for the same like 3 grand purely pure guessing I don't know if you want to take your risk Like a used car, I bet you could get a used boat for three grand. I don't know. Purely, pure guessing.

I don't know if you want to take your risk on a lemon boat, though. We need a little space to, you know. Also, where would we take a boat in Southern California? Into the ocean? That's the thing. Really? I guess. I don't know.

No. We can find out. Listen, no shade on boating. It's an excellent thing. I love it. Yeah. We could go to the Salton Sea. We could go to the Salton Sea. We could go to the Salton Sea.

Be the only boat out there. Pick a bunch of dead seagulls out of the water. Here's, okay. Smoke methamphetamines. Some of that glass, dude. Some of that glass. We were in Portland and I was looking at these kids on a boat, like, I don't know, eight, 20-year-old dudes.

Yeah. And they just seem like such pricks. And it, I don't know. Was I like that yeah and they just seem like such pricks and it i don't know was i like that i wonder that's not because i did the same thing like played rap music way too loud in front of people that like didn't want to listen to it see that there i always felt like there's a code of the sea like your extra no like i always like everybody was always friendly on the ocean i always felt like to get out there once you get out you weren't on a boat no we always friendly on the ocean. I always felt like to get out there. Once you get out on a boat. No, we were just on the pier where they were docked.

Oh, well you guys are a bunch of goddamn. Well, we didn't have a landlubber. Yeah. We have landlubber. Yeah. Didn't have access to a boat.

If we had access, I would have been out. But like, there was a lot of times where like, I'd bring out, bring friends out boating that I'd never really like done that. And they're like, why are these other boats waving to us when we pass by i'm just like that's just the fucking thing i hate

everybody gets it every year we're just out here we're all boaters we're all out here living you know how you feel after you drink a marley's velo moon yeah it's kind of like a more natural version that's what the sea does to me mike's just drifting along and then he sees mobsters dumping a guy over with cement shoes. They wave still. I wave. It's the unwritten code. The guy did what he did. What do you do? He did that on land.

That's none of my business. This is maritime law. Maritime law, dude. Liz doesn't practice maritime law, does she? Absolutely not, because there is none. What a fun phrase, maritime law. Maritime law. It's the best.

Boating. Excellent first pick. Anything else to say about boating? All good. That's all I got. I love it. You guys ever go boating in Sioux Falls, South Dakota? Is there a big lake? Everybody's got a boat, dude, because everything's so cheap, so everybody has a boat.

Where would you guys take it? Wall Lake, Lake Alvin, Lake Pahoya, Lake Madison, dude. Lewis and Clark Lake. Lewis and Clark? Do we not have one in Portland? What? A Lewis and Clark Lake? No. I thought there was. There's a college called Lewis and Clark. Yeah. True story? Do we not have one in Portland? What? A Lewis and Clark Lake? No.

I thought there was. There's a college called Lewis and Clark. Yeah. True story. Well, there's one in South Dakota. We have Hag Lake in Oregon. Sounds so welcoming. Hag.

Well, you can't take a boat in Crater Lakes. Shame on you for even thinking that. You can't? No. I don't think so. I've never been there. Have you ever been to Crater Lake? No, I haven't been there.

Oh, dog. It's's beautiful i've just seen it on license plates it's a shade of blue that shouldn't exist in nature uh what about you in hawaii yeah we went boating a few times we went deep sea the first time i went out we went deep sea fishing and that was like eight hours and we didn't even like get a nibble yeah but it was still fun yeah because i was like eight and you're just like running around you're like i'm on a boat like it's just fun to be in like running around and you're like, I'm on a boat. It's just fun to be in a boat. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like a goldfish. Every 30 seconds you're like, oh shit, I'm on a boat again. It'd be a bummer to be one of those people that get like crazy seasick. Oh, I know. And the boating's out forever. I'm so glad I don't get car sick. I've been running into more and more people who get car sick. Me too.

I can't imagine that. I get angry at people. I don't ever express it, but when someone starts getting car sick, I'm like, you motherfucker. Yeah. Like, what do you mean? What am I supposed to do? We're in a car. How else are we going to get there?

We're going to walk to Santa Monica? Yeah. Oh, you got to drive really careful. I get car sick. Oh, you mean your body gets weird by being thrown 80 miles an hour into the fucking road like that? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that natural selection didn't occur in the 1930s on your people. So now only

the strongest survive. Maybe that just happened to us, the Jews. Wait, you're Jewish? That's right. Damn. Top of the food chain. That's it. Food chain. Another thing I like about boating is it's like when you can dangle your feet off the side

and if you're sailing and your feet dip into the water. Oh, yeah. I've never been sailing. If you're sitting near the front of the boat and your legs are dangling over the side and as the boat is going through the waves... You've been sailing? You would...

Yeah. Look at Zach. He's been sailing. My whole life's been sailing, my friend. That's the haircut of a man who's been sailing. The only boats we got in South Dakota have flames on the side of them. And it's somebody who's had like 15 keystone lights like fuck no you're not driving i'm driving the keys my dad's fucking boat i'll be driving around the

skippy lake south dakota come with one of those breathalyzers you need to blow in the car yeah just for like a competition whoever's the drunkest gets to go won't it won't start unless you blow a point uh 0.08 all right you're over the legal limit take it around lake pahoya which definitely Competition. Whoever's the drunkest gets to go. It won't start unless you blow a.08. All right. You're over the legal limit. Take it around Lake Pahoya, which definitely shouldn't have speedboats on it. Really wrecks some good times. So boating with your first pick, Mike Malloy, and with your second pick, as it is. On the way back.

A serpentine draft. Serpentine draft. So for those who don't know. Go on. It's sort of like if there was a snake slithering, kind of, like back and forth. Go white room in your head. Just a white room. Now add a snake.

Yeah, let one of those sand snakes loose in it. They slither. It hits the wall. What does it do? It's got to bounce right back around. Turns around. Serpentine draft. You're the head of the snake, Mikey.

So, number two, I am taking Summer Jams. Oh, damn it. That was my first pick. I'll break this. I was torn between this and another one, but I don't think I can let it off the board. Shit. It's the first one on the list. You get out on that boat, you fucking crank that I Wish by Ski-Lo. So we already did Summer Jams, but what's your favorite boat Summer Jam?

Did you just say it? Is it Ski-Lo? No, I just thought of that one randomly. Cherry Pie? I randomly. Cherry Pie? I guess. Cherry Pie. Or it's Cherry Pie. I guess it's got to be Big Pimpin'. If I'm out on the sea, I want some Big Pimpin'.

Yes. That's a good call. Maybe the unplugged version. MTV's Unplugged. It's the best. Is that a real thing? Yeah. They had the roots play with it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I think it was a medley. Might have been the full song. The original one, in my opinion, is better. unplugged it's the best is that a real thing yeah they had the roots play with them oh yeah but i think it was a medley it's a full song the original one in my opinion is better yeah i can't tell zag how to feel yeah what there was just some dude on a boat like having the best boat time shirt off shades on hair's blown in the wind going pretty fast everyone's drinking and they're listening to like tears in heaven like really loud just having like fuck yeah dude because he's the only guy on a party boat because it was my dad's boat there's a lot of steely damn on the boat oh yeah well what do you know 12 year old wants to be oh dope oh i like it now yeah and i liked like a couple of

those songs but we're listening to like the whole album. Yeah, that's true. Ivan was playing the whole album. It's a little mature. I don't care about Donald Fagan's fucking Upper East Side takes on life. I'm living in fucking Beaverton, Oregon. What would you have suggested at the time? What? What was your play? If he gave you one CD.

If I got to pick the music? Yeah. 12-year-old. I'd throw the cool in the gang off i liked uh disco and near disco at that age i was into that yeah i hadn't at the age of 12 if you're gonna pin me to that age the beatles and disco music at the age of 12 it might have been like damn yankees for me oh yeah enough i could still i could still see that on a boat. That'd be fun. Just out there, dude. Summer Jam.

So you weren't a part of the Summer Jam draft. What would have gone number one for you? Ski Low? No, I think Big Pimpin'. Oh, Big Pimpin'. That is a great summer jam. Somebody picked it, right? I don't think they did.

Really? No. I like that beat because it's all circus-y. It's the best. I love it. Hit the No. I like that beat because it's all circus-y. Like... It's the best. I love it. Hit the horns. It's great. It's like a mouse on the back of an elephant playing a flute.

And the elephant's like... And then you zoom on the mouse. And then it's back to the elephant. Who did the beat? An elephant with a mouse on its back. There's a video of Jay-Z walking in and there's the elephant with the mouse on its back playing all the beats they have. Oh you thinking of dirt off your shoulders by timberland yeah from fade to black that's what i'm thinking of yeah yeah everybody it's an amazing

clip i can't find that documentary anywhere it's not on itunes well it's probably on title fuck that that's where it would be um tim uh timberland did the production on Big Pimpin' as well though but yeah there's that cool video of Timberland like JC JC freaking out and Timberland fully aware of what he had created

he's the best shout out to Timberland if Timberland ever wants to come on All Fantasy everything, the fantasy draft like Candle Sense whatever it is he's into what if he just let us have like If he ever wants to come on All Fantasy Everything, the fantasy draft, like Candle Sense. Long time friend of the show. Yeah, whatever it is he's into. What if he just let us have like 50 of his unused beats

the night before and we could draft our favorite unused Timberland beats? Of those? Yeah. Man. That'd be dope. I'd go in the lab and turn the record. Timberland, come on.

I might even throw some lyrics over. What is it you like about summer jams? It's just everything's better with a good summer jam. I agree. The sun feels brighter. The beer tastes colder. The boat goes faster. All of it.

Sometimes a summer jam will come out in February and won't catch on until summer. Yeah? Yeah. I don't think anything more needs to be said about the summer jams. I think we had an entire episode. I'll tell you, it was an incredibly vague explanation. But you know what? Because they're good.

Everything's better. You can say that about anything on there tell us specifically they're just good they must be good if we had an entire draft absolutely right so we wouldn't we wouldn't just sit here and draft bad things i feel like this is carpet but this is fantasy draft carpet bagging hey man i'm just taking the best one thing about summer jams might not have a need for it, but he's the best player on the board, and I'm not going to let him fall. Summer jams always have a good video, and you can try your best to copy the video in your real life. Copy the vibe.

Oh, yeah, that's fun. Like Naughty by Nature, Feel Me Flow, you're like, I'm going to go hang out on a picnic table like Tretch was doing. Sure. And, you know, I didn't look like Tretch at all at the time. Not as much as I do now. It's just after july 4th have has anyone picked your summer jam do we know yet what or even what's in

contention god it's it's so different now because there's not like the radio and mtv feeding it to me yeah there's so much and i feel like so much stuff every song passes in a couple weeks yeah yeah especially this summer like Nothing's stuck, really. I mean, I've been listening to this Jidenna song that I've heard so much just lately. Not a fan? No, just because I know who he is and where he's from.

He's from a very affluent part of Massachusetts. I think he's admitted that. I'm just listening to a rap of like, dog, you went to Milton Academy. You didn't do any of this. Well, that. I'm just listening to a rap of like, Doc, you went to Milton Academy. You didn't do any of this. Well, listen, I was just trying to throw some gas on the fire here. You've been listening to that

Long Live the Chiefs song from a couple years ago. Yeah, somebody just introduced me to it. I think it was Brie, Brie Pruitt, friend of the podcast. Long Live the Chiefs. It's just, I don't know, it knocks. It's got a good beat. I've been listening to that a lot lately. I have a few in contention. I think 2 Chainz's new album is full of summer jams. 4AM is good.

OG Kush Diet's really good. The new Calvin Harris album, full of summer jams. So many of those songs just sound mad summery. So if you want some new summer jams, those are some good ones. Yeah, I do. I can dive into those. Toscani, anything? What have you been bumping?

I've just been re-listening to uh it's not uh i wouldn't i don't know if it's a summer jam but god by kendrick oh the new album yeah god specifically that song i love that song all right it switches the tempo like three times in it i can't get enough of it. Counts. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you know? Beautiful. Nampay off mic, any summer jams? No. No, none. Marissa, what have you been listening to this summer? Oh, God.

Nothing? Okay, cool. So none of us listen to music. We all sit in stony silence. I've really been focusing. Oh, Drake and Gucci Mane, both? I was going to say, I think the best summer album was dropped in fucking February. Jeffrey. Oh,ane, both. I was going to say, I think the best summer album was dropped in fucking February. Jeffrey.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Young Thug. That has all good summer jams. Yeah. Jeffrey's really good. The new Gucci Mane. The Met Gala with Offset is really good.

Oh, I mean Slippery by Migos. That's another good summer jam. Anyway, they're out there. They're living. They're out there. All right. I think we've litigated that enough. Summer jams.

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Are those just freeze pops? Is that the same thing? An Otter Pop? Yeah, it's that like tube of super sugary. Yeah, like the freezies. You put them in the freezer and you eat 60 of them in a day. We used to let them get warm and drink them.

What? What's wrong with you? Fucking lunatics, man. Why would you freeze them in the first place? We didn't. Carol Smith froze them. Smith's mom froze them. We'd take them out.

Carol, you moron! We'd set them on the porch while we were swimming at Smith's crib, and then we'd just drink them like animals. Man, that's crazy. Why are these freeze pops frozen? I used to freeze them, and then I'd hit against like uh concrete smash them up a little bit get them like a like they were those sticks like you're trying to yeah trying to see in a cave and you just smack the glow stick yeah yeah yeah or sometimes i would like like massage it all the way up and down like massage it up and down the shaft of the autopop like you're a masseuse who just got their hands on a spine, like a real spine, and you're like, here you go.

And then it's ready to eat. Just everyone on that boat listening to Steely Dan and looking over at you, and you're just massaging popsicles. Ivan just leans back, Ian, are you taking this music in? Are you hearing it? No. While Steely Dan's singing about some girl getting her post-doctorate degree. Living in Hoboken, but pretends she's in the village. Or whatever the fuck it is they sing about.

Yeah, dude. Otter Pops. Yeah, man. Otter Pops. I love it. You'd start them. They'd show up in May for the first time. You'd see them at a friend's house.

You're like, oh, shit. It's Otter the first time. Like you'd see them at a friend's house and you're like, oh shit, it's Otter Pop season. You don't have them at home yet. Then you'd tell Sue Carmel, Saint Sue Carmel, would you scoop some up at the Cosker? Next time you go to Cosker, maybe scoop up some Otter Pops. And then they'd show up in the freezer and you'd just house them. Throughout the

summer. And you'd start, at least with me, I would start just eating them the normal way. And then I'd get bored of that. I'd have to chase the dragon. That's when I'd start doing the sugar thing to him. You know what used to bug me? Huh? Is when people would cut the top off and not give me the little extra part from the top.

That gets thrown away? They'd cut like an inch off and I'm like, you know. Give me that. The thing's 12 inches. I sometimes cut them in half. And I got two now. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just, yeah. You know, Sean, the government does that to your check every month. Wow. things 12 inches yeah i sometimes cut them in half and just i got two now oh yeah you just you know sean the government does that to your check every month wow they'll take a little

they haven't been sending me my check then they can go ahead and cut it in fourths if they want and send me send me a fourth of the fourth i'd be thrilled coming in i granted the otter pop is more of a kid choice than an adult choice, although I kind of want to get some for the crib now. Yeah. But. Here we go. Yeah.

Oh, no. Go ahead. Just running in from you've been playing outside. It's hot. Your cheeks, sun-kissed. You know? Yeah. Your hair tousled.

Your bum equipment shorts stained by grass. From frolicking in the Tron. From frolicking in the Tron. From frolicking in the Tron. Your hand smells like that weird smell that the garter snake you caught gives off to protect itself from predators. This kid, little sub story, I'm not going to say his name. He smashed the head of a garter snake when we were in elementary school, took it and stood in the middle of a circle of girls and flung it around his head. Yeah.

That's crazy. That's a crazy thing to do. Blood flying. It was nuts, dude. Absolutely crazy. Didn't get in any trouble, by the way. He should have been locked up. That's serial killer shit. Anyway, you said garter snake and that reminded me of it. Yeah, yeah. So here's the question. I want to say

favorite flavor, but I'm going to say favorite color. What's your favorite color of Otter Pot? Orange. Really? Yeah. Dude. i like grape or blue i was gonna say blue or blue saying green over here oh green's also good yeah orange orange orange and it was like you bought them in an amount that was like it was okay for you to have multiple yes because it wasn't like you get one. It was like you're going to have three or four. Right.

They would even come out like that. Like spring chews where like eight of them are clinging together. And I was like, I will take that bundle. It's like, oh, you can supply all your friends with some. Yeah. If they're stuck together, that counts as one. That's one Otter Pop. Speaking of the way it's pronounced, Orange Weird.

Friend of the program, Phoebebe bottom she's been on before sure sure she calls a bagel a bagel yeah my sister does that bagel oh that was a joke in community britta called it a bagel and it was like really he has a whole episode and you're like obviously that's not how you say it bagel bagel just doesn't sound no it's not right a bagel it's not right people who say bagel shouldn't be allowed to get married. To other people who say bagel. Shouldn't be allowed to get married. Married. Married. Anyway, just another thing that's been chapping my head.

Tell you what really pisses me off. Otter Pops, man. They don't. I fucking love an Otter Pop. It's the official freezable dessert of summer. Popsicles in general are awesome. Yeah, I could have just taken Popsicles in general. I made a promise to myself this year I was dessert of summer. Popsicles in general are awesome. Yeah, popsicles. I could have just taken popsicles in general.

I made a promise to myself this year I was going to eat more popsicles, and I've held true to it. You follow through on it? I am. Where do you get them? You just go get an individual one from the corner store? No, I'll grab a packet. You know, Ralph's.

I'll see what's cracking. What are your go-tos? Depends. Do you go fudgesicles sometimes? I'm not a fruit. Like a fruitier? Yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah oh yeah the uh they got those ones with like coconut the popsicle brand popsicles with the uh they got the the uh i think it's watermelon the uh lemonade and uh cherry oh yeah that's that's the one yeah they're just standard

like stick popsicles yeah like don't give me a grape I can do without orange. Take it or leave it. What about the rocket ship popsicles? Do you ever mess with those? I actually did get those last week because they were on sale. Push pops? They weren't that great. Push pops?

Is that a popsicle though? That's more of a compact ice cream. That's just sherbert in a fucking toilet paper. That's all that is. It's a toilet paper sherbert. Well, what about those frozen yogurt popsicles? Are those popsicles or those frozen yogurt? Go-gurts?

No, the fruit ones. Oh, yeah. We've got them a few times. It's on a stick. Oh, yeah. It's on a stick. It acts like a popsicle, but it's over here being frozen yogurt. So I wonder.

It's a fine line. I don't know. It's a fine line. Listeners, reach out to us. Anybody got a pick? I saw experts. Throw them. Sean Jordan't know. It's a fine line. Listeners, reach out to us. Anybody got a pick? Insert. Throw them.

Sean Jordan, it's time for your second pick. Second pick is going to be shorts. Oh, fuck. All right. God damn it. We're all wearing them right now. This is like one of the few drafts where all my shit is coming off the board. God damn it. If I had my druthers, I would wear mesh shorts all the time what's

stopping you you have a girlfriend already i know dude you live in la i wear i wear these in the work like i change into them so if i have to put jeans on for something i'll go back to the crib and like change into them yeah so we were out the other i forget what we were doing but i got back and immediately put my shorts back on and then then her and her brother, they had something to do early, like a meeting or something. Came back and I was in mesh shorts. It always looks like you just got up when you're wearing mesh shorts. It was like three in the afternoon and I had like a t-shirt and meshes on. I'm like, what up?

How you guys doing? Like I just rolled out. Did you just get up? Like, what if I did? Yeah. I got mesh shorts on. I'm living, dude. Yeah.

I mean, we're all wearing shorts in this room. I know. I've transitioned from the mesh to the cotton short. See, I don't. And I'm digging it. And people have told me, like, I look real trashy in mesh shorts, but I just don't care. Like, even that I should get the thicker, like, the NBA ones that aren't mesh, they're like, I don't know.

Those are comfy. But they're not as light. Yeah. I just, I mean, I might as well not be wearing anything right now. I haven't owned a pair of NBA shorts in a while. I think that might be an investment. Well, they don't have pockets on them. Oh, that is the reason I stopped wearing them, isn't it?

I got to have to be able to carry something. Yeah. I don't carry much in my shirt. I don't understand why the NBA doesn't just go, hey, we're going to release versions with pockets in them. Mitchell and S. If you, like, just for, who's, somebody's going's gonna fucking buy it just put it out there yeah the demand's here supply is out there i guess if you have a demand here the demand is there

he's literally demanding right now it's been demand air i'm a in la shorts here am though right i mean yeah that's yeah that's the situation here yeah see and i was i was thinking about that like a lot of my summer stuff comes from where there's a solid winter so yeah kidding i couldn't wear shorts all year round but will you go on stage in shorts have you done that i never have never have i'm doing it bory's doing it we're making we're starting a movement this is me off that it's somebody skinny guys can't just be a fat guy thing we're gonna make it a movement yeah let's do let's do fucking let's do a show comedy and shorts everybody wears shorts everybody just wear shorts you know start a revolution get the fuck over it's one of those old eric didurian shout out to the good friend eric didurian on twitter called it like one of those like

unwritten rules of baseball kind of things about comedy once you just don't wear shorts on stage why somebody the other day they post, they're like name a comedian who's had a banging special with shorts on. And you're like, well, I'm not going to wear shorts on my special. Just like I'm not going to wear half the shit I wear on a special. The jeans I wear aren't going on a special. Most people

buy new clothes for the special. They don't even trust the nice clothes that they own. I'm not wearing shorts to a wedding, but I'll wear it like if they're having a barbecue. See, I feel like there needs to be something done about that. I feel like hot fucking weddings like we need... Oh, you should have dress shorts like with the Beastie Boys or something. Yeah.

There's gotta be a fucking option. We gotta make it okay. There's mess shorts and a tuxedo t-shirt. Let my fucking knees be free. Yes. Let my fucking legs be free. Some weddings, I can't wear fucking shorts. Don't fucking do that to me. I'm with you, man. I'll wear shorts and a blazer. What the fuck? Why do I need to be layered in fabric?

That's just like a punk rock. Maybe a Paris. Goddamn seersucker shorts. What kind of modern day superstition shit is this where you must be anointed and layered in fabrics to honor the union? Is God going to be offended by my shins? Fuck that, dude. You can still wear night...

I'm wearing these shorts. They have like a floral pattern. You can't see them. I feel like we should go to a wedding. It's like a subtle floral pattern. Before anybody even says anything, we should go to a wedding and just go off like this. Yeah. Anthony's.

Wearing suits. I don't even know him. I'm coming. Anthony, this is how much fabric you're worth to me. Here's the plan, by the way. You show up to a wedding. You have shorts back in the car. If it's's a cash bar you go put those shorts on if it's if it's open bar i'll wear a fucking suit i'll play your game yeah i'll play your fucking yeah no i won't cut the strings if

it's a cash bar we've we've opened the floodgates to just affronts to god like we're clearly just like yeah the doors are open we're let them all in if it's an open bar, it doesn't matter. The shirt's coming off and the tie's going around my head at some point, so I don't need shorts on if that's happening. If I just put down $8 for a vodka soda

at something, I brought a present for you. Yeah. Two? You're not getting the bottom half of my pants. No. If I didn't bring shorts,

I'll fucking, I'll take these dockers and I'll cut the fuck out of them. I don't give a shit. I'm not gonna wear these again. I have nice calves. It's one of the few parts of my body that's like real, real nice.

I've got a great face, nice calves. And you're going to fucking, you're going to make me leave that back? You're going to handicap me? I got to leave that in the bag? You're going to put a sheet over the Mona Lisa for the wedding? For God's sake. I'm trying to get married too. You're going to take my star player out of the game?

For God's sake. How dare you? Beautiful. You're sure your bride is going to see my calves and have second thoughts. We know what's going to be short. She's just going to be on the altar just quivering. Having second thoughts. Yeah, second, maybe third thoughts, dude.

Because I'm just sort of extending the toe. Cowards. Yeah, I love shorts, man. Summer is short season for sure. You can get away with it at more places. Yeah, they're shorts, man. Summer is short season for sure. You can get away with it at more places. Yeah. It's, yeah, they're just the best. Yeah, I'll have these shorts on.

I'll sleep in the, I'll only wear these till, I don't even know when. I don't even know the next time. When's the next time you have to be somewhere? I wish, I wish it were tomorrow, but it's not. You have to go to court tomorrow for picking baked beans, which I'm not even giving you barbecues. picking baked beans which i'm not even giving you barbecues maybe i'll wear these to fucking fred meyer or ralph's or whatever the hell's next door and uh get like way too many baked beans if i come back to the crib and there's baked beans if i come back from las vegas there's baked beans in the house you know it'd be funny hell's coming

back with it'd be funny it's just to get like a whole shopping cart full of baked beans and then just go to the employee like you think this is enough for what they don't know just enough well I mean in general

but would you just look at this and ask not knowing would you say this is enough is this enough baked beans Laura and I did that with mayo one time we just picked up like

eight huge things of mayo and walked around Fred Meyer or uh Safeway and uh just watched people look us like, what are they doing with all that mayo? And we just settled all down. So, yeah, short. There it is. We're done.

All of that mayo. Zach Disconnick, time for your second pick, followed by your third. Yes. Yes. Second pick, I'm going to go food from a cooler. Oh, that's a fun little choice. Regenerative properties. Most times like you're worn out by the sun, you go in there.

What's that? Ice cold watermelon sliced up. Maybe some cherries. Some cold baked beans, dude. No, not that. Maybe some fried chicken. Not in the ice. It's one of those faces that you guys want to see

right now but you can't it's like a bean burrito face maybe a star fruit a star fruit wait what's a star fruit yeah a star fruit is like

no well it's like a it's like a it's really not it's a weird fruit yeah it's like a tropical fruit but it's like

it's like we just have cut off rabbit's feet an apple and a plum combined but you can eat the whole thing like the middle and everything dude i knew kids that would do that with an apple banana i knew kids that would eat the whole thing but this isn't it's like they're like banana seeds kind of like where you just eat them but you don't feel

okay the texture i don't like foods from a cooler yeah excuse me i don't like it what hold on hold on mr ian carmohan the e-brake i mean listen i just i mean i think we should be having an honest and open communication we are now so when i'm see for me i'm very conscientious about the food not getting soggy so let's put that to bed right now but it's gonna get soggy it gets soggy you get it you get a little layer the cheese is gonna get sweaty if you got sandwich stuff in there if you do it right i don't know why you guys have your shorts off right now this is crazy there's too many different kind too many different kinds of food in close close proximity we're not talking frozen foods we're talking foods from a cooler yes yeah yeah all

right i'm just trying to get like you're going to the beach what are you packing yeah okay now i would go i don't love eating food from see i would make pre-made sandwiches put them in ziplocs or elevate them over the ice and you make sure that the water doesn't you keep draining see yeah see i'm not i'm not absolutely i'm not worried because i got those one of those little a couple of those little sandwich suitcases. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this sogginess that you peasants deal with, can't relate. You're going to say you're going to keep draining it, but you're going to lose track of time. There's going to be two and a half inches of standing water

at the bottom of that cooler. I guarantee you that's going to happen and mosquitoes lay eggs on that. What did a cooler ever do to you, my friend? Ian's got some really repressed Did someone put you in a cooler ever do to you my friend i've got some really repressed did someone put you in a cooler and mosquitoes lay eggs in there i wouldn't call that a feature of the summer i would call it a drawback a bug eating food out of a cooler i'm just saying hey this is an open forum everyone's friends here we could you know, opinions.

You like it and that's all that matters. Sean, could you pull this knife out of my back? Nobody's pulling that. What am I, King Arthur over here? I'm not going to get that. Was it King Arthur? It's King Arthur. Yeah, I'm not doing it. Food from a cooler. I love it. Food from a cooler. Fine. You love it?

A lot of people like it. I seem to be the only one. It wouldn't have been in my... I'm the only one. I'm really torn. I'm the only one against it, but I'm also the only one with any passion. If you're eating food from a cooler, you're out with your friends. Or not necessarily. Or you're at a family thing. It's like family you almost never talk to. I wouldn't draft it, but maybe I'd invite it to Summer League.

I'd give it a look. See what it can do. You open it up. There's bread and butter pickles in there somebody brought fucking sweet pickles you love pickles i love dill pickles i i will say this firmly i believe there is no greater treachery than grabbing a pickle out of a dish and then biting into it and it's a sweet pickle that's the worst thing that's only happened to me not a sweet you could have stopped at grabbing a pickle

for me. You don't like pickles? I love pickles, but I hate a sweet pickle. It's a waste of a good cucumber. Cucumbers are dog shit. Waste of a good cucumber? Cucumbers are terrible. A cucumber is just like an organic canteen. It's alright. It's just a vessel to hold water.

It's good. It cools you down in the summer. Cucumbers are horrible. I hate them. You ate them. It's just a vessel to hold water. Yeah, it's good. It cools you down in the summer. Cucumbers are horrible. I hate them. You ate them. What have cucumbers ever done to you? Cucumbers are still coming from the couch. Nicole dated a cucumber right after me.

Sean, can you holster your piece? We're getting a little worried. Can't holster either one of them, my friend. Put that clock away, please. Toscani, what are you picking after food from a cooler? I mean, I don't think we gave it enough time. Well, we can keep talking about it. I would love to go on. Yeah, I think enough time was spent on a cooler.

I would love to go on a firing squad. You reach in there. You reach in there. It's about 3 o'clock in the afternoon. There's just a grape floating loose. Just a grape floating in a couple inches of water. I mean, would you guys just eat one thing and then just throw it back into the cooler? No, man.

Well, that's a lot of people going there. I mean, if you're at one of these 25 people barbecues, who can it be accounted for, really? I'm thinking a more intimate affair. Maybe like a six people, you're on the beach. Yeah, like at the beach or on the boat. Still, it's going to be a mess. Yeah.

If you're on the beach, Sam's getting in there, by the way. You're eating Sam that day. What? They're not just, food's not loose in the cooler. There's not just like a hamburger sitting on top of ice. You're painting this blue sky, perfect situation scenario that never takes place in the wild. Something always goes wrong. I see Ian just kind of opening it.

Watch Jurassic Park, bro. Watch it. Come to a Tuscany beach reunion. You will see a clean cooler. I would love to. So you're going to have the first Tuscany beach reunion then? No, it's been happening. I can see that right well that was an excellent i'll say it myself that was an excellent pick from jack tuscany with your third pick what do you have well thank you ian third pick i'm going summer crushes oh now that one i can get down with as as a as a child of divorce six times over

i will say that there were i had to go visit my alternate parents yeah i gotta well three apiece three apiece holy well uh same so so i would spend like alternating summers with you know my mom or my dad so it was oftentimes i would find myself like oh i'm living in ohio for like three months and then i go back to hawaii situation exactly i mean i wasn't as cool as that it was more of like uh you know find another lonely person your boy's in the background of that movie it's summer catch summer catch chat amaze buddy bullpen catcher yeah that's sick now i gotta watch summer catch today uh summer crushes summer crushes great yes yeah it's like the first look at me like i no i'm not okay i'm not coming after i don't have a bed that against you zach's bleeding by the way somehow

blood coming out of my eyes yeah but summer crushes it's like it's the first kind of like uh especially when you're like a kid and you get a summer crush. It's the first time we were like, well, it's not going to work out in the long term. So you just enjoy it for what it is. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And the summer, you got to make, you got to be bold.

You got to make plays because you're not going to see her at school tomorrow. You got to fucking, you got to make plans. That's right. You got to make moves. You got to be in position. And it teaches you something about yourself, having to make those moves. Yeah. It's fun. You learn a little something. You're like, okay about yourself, having to make those moves. Yeah. It's fun.

You learn a little something. You're like, okay, I didn't die when I walked over. You give her a cold piece of pineapple from the cooler. Guess what? She's your girlfriend now. Yeah. Because she loves fruit from the cooler. And she bites into it.

There's sand. There's a bug. Mosquito eggs all over it. And that's how it all unravels. Then you have to go drop her off at the front door of the ER. What kind of water were you filling into the cooler? Oh, her gums start bleeding. She immediately moves back to wherever she's from.

She pulls out a handful of hair. She cuts the trip short. She moves to where it's permanent winter. You give her a piece of Swiss cheese that tastes like the pineapple because they were right next to each other. Now all of a sudden it's a turkey Swiss and pineapple fucking sandwich as though that's something anyone ever wanted to eat.

Loose, floating Swiss cheese. Hey hey i have a crush on you and you just eat the cheese pick from the cooler chop your hand off and put it in the cooler please yeah summer crushes do you have a specific do you remember yeah well my like i had my mom's friend come in and like some people that she knew came and visited us when we lived in hawaii no oh it was like a one of her friend's daughters okay but they came from like north carolina and they stayed in hawaii for like you know like four months or something. Did you requite this love? I mean, it was like, this was real early on where it was like kissing was as much as you go.

A little smooch action. Did you kiss her? Huh? Yeah, after like, after about three months of hard labor. Hell yeah. Three months of groundwork. It was fun though. You know, it was like where you're just like,

oh, we're just two friends. We just hit beehives with sticks and stuff. All the fun things. All the stuff you do on Hawaii. Yeah. The island of Hawaii. She was a little bit of a tomboy, you know? She could hang with the crew.

Sure. A real owl from Step by Step. Yeah. You looked around all sinister when you said that. Vida? What was her name? Vida? What was the girl's name from?

My girl? Beta. Oh, yeah. Beta? Veda? Veda. Veda? What was her name? Veda? What was the girl's name from? My girl? Beta. Oh, yeah. Beta? Veda? Veda? Veda? Vader?

Vader? Darth Vader. Darth Vader. Darth Vader. Who's Darth Vader? Darth Maul. The Emperor had to be in those clothes because the bees stung him so much. Yeah.

Darth Maul. Darth. We all saw Star Wars from a young age If you saw it for the first time At this age And you were like the character's name is Darth And there's a lot There's a bunch of Darths

Let me get this straight There's a lot of Darths The guy came up with this thing and he thought One Darth isn't enough we need a lot of Darths You know I'm just saying Darth Brooks dude Alright now I'm back on board And he thought, one Darth isn't enough. We need a lot of Darths. I'd be in. I'm just saying. Darth Brooks, dude.

Darth Brooks. All right, now I'm back on board. Wasn't that, what was his, Chris? Didn't Garth Brooks have a- Chris Gaines? Yeah, Chris Gaines. And that was kind of- He was different because he had a soul patch.

Yeah. And dyed his hair black, right? What? Yeah. Garth Brooks had like an alter ego? Yeah. How'd you miss this? That didn't make its way out. I don't know. What? Yeah. Garth Brooks had like an alter ego? Yeah. How'd you miss this? That didn't make its way up.

I don't know. I do like Garth Brooks. What if you separately loved Chris Gaines? Yeah. I could see that being said. I could totally see that. The world was just shattered right now. Why do you think Chris Gaines is the same as Garth Brooks?

Garth Brooks, those aren't the same, dude. Different dudes, man. I mean, they know each other. They've been known to go to a barbecue together, but yeah, they're not the same. Split a bowl of baked beans. That was like someone... You don't split bowls of baked beans.

Someone said they thought Sufjan Stevens was when Cat Stevens went Muslim. Really? Yeah. Yusuf Islam. Summer Crushes. I was never any good at them.

I was a heavy, unpopular child. I was a zit-faced twig myself yeah so like summer summer crushes for me were like that what about just the idea took a day to download you could have just walked up to a girl and been like, listen, I'm a heavy, unpopular child. And she would have just fucked you right there. Listen, I'm a heavy, unpopular child. I don't even remember. I didn't have crushes.

I didn't have like summer crushes until kind of high school, really. They were never really. I guess I did have a crush during middle school, but you'd never see them. I would not. There was nowhere for me to really run into girls was the tron did you have that small town aspect going no there was like massive sprawling suburbs okay so where would we see each other i don't know target i don't know maybe you have to get real lucky to see that girl at target i used to come I don't want to, it might be one of my other picks. I don't want to bring it up, but if I end up picking it.

But I see the merit in the pick. Yeah. You know. Did I have a, I can't, I don't think I had any good summer, like nothing that I would be like, that one really worked out.

It was always like I had a crush on a girl and then like, a dude way better than me. I'd like see them together somewhere and I'm like, well. That's been most of my crushes. I guess i'll just keep skating six hours a day keep doing push-ups drinking everclear

sean this time for your third pick uh my third pick is going to be the pool ah fuck god damn it My third pick is going to be the pool. Ah, fuck. God damn it. Call. Why did I take Otter Pops so early? God, fuck. Okay, yeah.

God, fuck, dude. That was my band. God, fuck. We used to go play at the pool every Sunday. So we used to go to Keen Park. That was my pool. And it was just, that would be the day. You'd get a patch. Did you guys have patches?

Where you could just get the patch and you'd get into the pool for free all summer? Oh, no. It was like 20 bucks or something. Maybe something like that. But no, we didn't go to public pools. We had the ocean. Yeah. I don't even think our town had a public pool.

Swimming with band-aids and shit. We had the ocean. That's all we had. We would have, my swim trunks had like patches for years on them. It was kind of like a, just like a badge of honor. How many patches you had. And yeah, we'd just go to badge of honor how many patches you had. And yeah, we'd just go

to the pool all day from one to five. That was like and then five to seven I think was adult swim. Nice. And then you could go back from seven to eight.

That's when the Aqua Teen Hunger Force was on. The quad. Frylock. Frylock has braces. How funny is that? It's really funny.

And a huge jewel on his back. Yeah, I just used to like it. And, you know, you could get a little food. Go to a little concession stand. Snack stand. With this pick.

They had a high dive. We had a high dive. Oh, did you? That's cool. Some kid, he was okay, so it's funny. But he got to the top and just fell backwards onto the cement. And they cleared the pool. He was fine.

I found out later he was fine, so it's okay. But, yeah, I was just like, damn, dog like damn dog that's like 12 feet or some shit i was uh always afraid to do those big jumps when i was little i did a flip off the high dive once and it was probably the scariest thing i've ever done this day yeah i only did it because like all my friends were like do it pussy i'm like well i'm not a pussy don't do it yeah i was deep down terrified to do it pussy and i'm like well i'm not a pussy i'll do it and then i was deep down terrified to do it hard hard hard shaking some kid some kid pooped in the pool once whoa and they had to drain the whole thing it was a huge public pool this kid pooped and they kicked everyone out and all the lifeguards you could see them they're just like again with this so they had to drain the whole mofka. The kid's just outside of the gate

laughing. Clean my poop. Get my poop out of the pool. I'm gonna do it again. I'm not advocating. I'm gonna have to poop at some point. Eugenics. But kill that kid.

There was one time a pool party in high school where somebody pooped while jumping off the diving board. I don't know the science behind it, but it was the most amazing thing I ever saw. He did one of these like, and then just pooped. It was just, boom. It was like, he was in a cannonball. Like it knocked all the poop out of him? He was like in a squatty potty

with no fucking squatty potty. He was just making his own squatty potty. It was amazing. Oh, that's amazing. Did he land in the water? Yeah, shouts to Tom Hughes. Oh, dude, you did it. He's dead, it doesn't matter.

He has no reputation. He died at that moment. He has no reputation. He died shitting cannonball. He shit himself to bed. To dead. To dead. He died at that moment. He has no reputation. He died shitting cannonball. He shit himself to bed. To dead. To dead. He shit himself to dead.

Are you just taking, now when you say the pool, are you taking that public pool, that summertime public pool? That's what I like, the sandlot, the Wendy Peppercorn situation. A communal pool. So not like pools. No, I'm taking like the pool. The pool. Yeah, like going to the pool.

Not pools. We had friends with pools yeah Smith had a pool unless somebody wants to take a look what are you getting at the snack bar oh I used to get like hot dogs I used to get like hot eats rarely did I get a cool treat

I would get like a slush puppy and then like a little pizza you're still a cool treat guy slush puppies you always get them and you maybe finish like a third of it i've never liked like i've never been slurpy this is too big it's like a real granular yeah slurpy i would get candy though and then i i made the mistake all the time candy and i'm like it would get wet and then it wouldn't be that good anymore but i'd still be like well i got all these snickers i gotta eat them under the sun, it would just melt to the

wrapper. Actually, you know what I used to get? Just big glasses of milk. Give me a big glass of milk, please. Can I get an unseasonal eggnog, please? I used to get the Laffy Taffy with that weird sugar stuff on top. Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking. Yeah. You know what

bums me out about pools now is that it happens a lot at hotels where they're four feet at the deepest. Yeah. Don't give me that fucking bullshit. Yeah now is that it happens a lot at hotels where they're four feet at the deepest. Yeah. Don't give me that fucking bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's weak. I'm an American taxpayer.

I want eight feet at least. Ten even, maybe. Yeah, ten. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Let me swim a little bit. Let me jump in there. My pool's a hardy nine.

What, funds outlawed for me? I dig it. Nine feet? Nine. Jump in. In your apartment? Yeah. Oh, we gotta go over.

All the way down. Yeah. Yeah. I always want to swing through. Never have I read a text that says. Oh, we gotta go over. All the way down. Yeah. I always want to swing through. Never have I read a text that says, hey, let's go swim. Open invite, Sean. You're welcome at the crib all the time. I can't bring it.

No, I'm saying- You want to say- I can't bring it up. Hey, can we go swim at your house? How's that pool doing? You can do it. You can do it. Oh, I can hint at it.

Yeah. How's that pool? Pool wet? Pool wet? What's the temperature of the pool right now? Pool wet? Pool wet question mark? Go fucking dip your toes's that pool? Pool wet? Pool wet? What's the temperature of the pool right now? Pool wet? Pool wet question mark? Go fucking dip your toes.

Find out. Pool wet? We could compromise. We could go to Mission Cantina for a picture, Margs, and then... Yeah. That's the situation

where I can see myself You guys talk so much shit about Mission Cantina. You know what? I don't know if they're listeners, but if they are, I love you guys, and I won't let my friends sit here and talk rude about

you. I won't let it happen. I'm the last line of defense between here and Mission Cantina. A picture of Margs makes my teeth hurt and never gets me drunk. Well, you know, you're doing it wrong. My teeth feel like they have hair on them afterwards. They hurt. Isn't that good? Agita?

You know, we have so few good things in our lives and you guys just want to spit in the face of one of them the pool it's time

for me to make my third pick and with my third pick I'm going to take summer blockbusters oh damn I didn't even think of that

summer god damn blockbusters that hell yeah dude especially growing up as a kid but even now even now they're still good although i go see movies less in theaters but growing up when it was like independence day would come out or fucking jurassic park came out and you're like oh holy shit you see the preview for the first time because they wouldn't come out like a year early like they do now you'd see it like in february yeah super bowl is usually when they'd be like hey bitch oh shit will smith's doing what

oh shit yeah and then you start getting amped for it and like you see more commercials right around may april may and then you finally get in there and it's just fuck and when they delivered like a jurassic park dude i saw jurassic park five six times in theaters fantastic maybe more it's certain kind of movie i just i just fucking love them and they still do it they still do it to their credit yeah it's harder for me now to go to a movie on a gorgeous day yeah but when i was a kid i'd get up at like eight all the time you get up at eight summer felt like it was forever what's a two-hour movie in the middle of my 12 hour day get a little Get a little AFC. Yeah.

And you could like, it was one of the first things I could go do by myself that felt like I was doing something. I'm like, you know, I'm going to a goddamn movie today. Hit up Sue Carmel for like a crisp $20 bill. Roller blade maybe. Maybe bicycle to the movie theater. Lock up the bike. Give me one ticket.

I'll take one ticket, please, to a... What was even like a bad summer blockbuster from my childhood? I'm... Waterworld? Waterworld. I liked Waterworld, but I'm... Broken Arrow? I like Broken Arrow, too. I just like...

Broken Arrow was dank. I just like... We like shitty movies. ...to like things. Yeah. If I paid now 20 bucks, I'm gonna probably like i'm gonna try my hardest to like it god i can't think of any independence day would have been a good one but that was what 94 battleship oh battleship i guess we were kids but shane swears a friend

of the podcast shane torres swears the battleship and uh pacific rim are the same he's just like telling tell me that difference. One of them sucks. One of them's good. One of them sucks. One of them's based on a board game. And the other one sucks. And the other one sucks. But I just love it.

I love that certain kind of movie where it's like an event. It's not going to be good. Maybe Michael Bay's involved. Maybe Jerry Bruckheimer's involved. Oh pray yeah that they collab i just love that just like a fun dumb big movie yeah with big dumb hot people in it fighting fighting other vaguely eastern european people uh-huh you just tune out and you're just like this is fucking yeah housing popcorn yeah maybe now i'll sneak a pith of whiskey in there sure maybe now like i've skated to the theater like i'm gonna drink a little whiskey and enjoy this uh trans transformers rise of the fallen or the last night or whatever

the one where the transformers helped harriet tubman um anyway we're gonna keep it moving because i gotta we're gonna flight to catch but uh mike malloy it actually leads what you're leaving for leads me into what i'm just gonna pick next uh nba off season oh that's that's a clutch fucking pick christmas in july yes it's just a week or a couple weeks of just speculation rumors excitement maybe team's going to get that special guy you wanted, that special young boy that you want on your squad. As a Celtics fan, this is a special impression pick for you. It's been a bittersweet summer.

We lost Avery Bradley. I love him. I love Avery Bradley so much. You've got Gordon Hayward. Yeah, I'm very excited about that. But I thought Avery Bradley could have also been a part of things. You would have rather they got rid of Jay Crowder. Yes.

I think he's going to be a problem going forward. He's got three years. Very thin skin. I love him, but he's very thin skinned and he's going to be very not happy. Or just if he's not starting, he's going to be upset. Alright.

I don't know. Have you enjoyed Summer League forever? No. Because, I mean, it wasn't televised for forever. I don't even know about it, honestly, until like three years ago or something. Well, not even Summer League specifically. The NBA offseason, like free agency, the draft,

all that stuff. Oh, okay, sure. I've loved the draft forever. Free agency didn't become like really interesting probably until... The last like five years is when it's really... Like ever since lebron yeah that was basically the the catalyst that made nba summer it is fun it is it's almost i

like it more than like most of the actual nba season yeah because it's so fun it's a time of hope for everyone when the south were in the eastern conference finals i was just like can you guys just beat the shit out of us and have it be the fucking draft already yeah i want to get to the stuff the good stuff um it is fun i wonder if it's did you grow up playing video games and stuff like that like i wonder if it appeals to that part of the brain yeah because it definitely does for me where i'm like my favorite part like in video games is like going to the draft and like yeah just tinkering seeing what what's what seeing what you can shake up it's a niche pick but but I love it, obviously. I'm leaving for summer league in like two hours.

Yeah. But it's going to be interesting to see how the listeners react to it. I think they're going to agree. How can we convert it to people who aren't basketball fans? It's like... It's like, let's say you're a big fan of accounting. Huge fan. Like the part of the accounting season where like there's shakeups, like who's going to end up at,

at the big firm that you root for price waterhouse. Cool. Yeah. Who's going to, who's going to land there. Right. You know what, what,

what kid out of fucking Brandeis are they going to, are they going to draft? Like Brandeis studio? I don't know. I have brought them up twice. You have, it seems like, what was the other Brandeis reference? I missed it. Or was it off there? Oh, know. I have brought them up twice this episode. You have? You guys seem like- What was the other Brandeis reference?

I missed it. Or was it Offair? I just know you brought them up twice. Oh, yeah. I think that was Offair. Being from Southie. Oh, being from Southie. It's like you're at a buffet.

Yeah. But there's real limited quantities of food. And you're fourth in line. I'm like, am I going to get a pot sticker? Fuck, I hope I get that pot sticker. We should get pot stickers okay that is a that is a great way that is a good that did it yeah i did it right yeah you're fourth in line you're like don't don't fucking pick that pot sticker dude you're like sending sending messages up like i'll tell you what yeah i'll stand in line for you yeah

and like twice if you give me that pot sticker. And then I'll get whatever you want and just give it to you. Right. Tomorrow, I'll make sure you get that white fish you want or whatever else. You were talking about Hometown Buffet yesterday. Have you guys been to Hometown Buffet? I don't think so. I mean.

Hometown. Also known as Old Country Buffet. Old Country Buffet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Old Country Buffet.

That shit. We haven't been. We were talking about it. We haven't been since football team dinner. Home Team also known as Old Country Buffet yeah Old Country Buffet that shit we haven't been we were talking about we haven't been since football team dinner and it was a terrible decision even then how the fuck do people eat there

yeah why do you go to a buffet and there's like white fish baked beans at a buffet in a chocolate fountain in a chocolate fountain we went

we went once on a like a school field trip and we saw a dude who would go up to and grab like a whole plate of fried chicken, just eat the skin, and throw the rest away. And he was at it for about two hours.

Oh, dog. One time, I feel terrible about this now. Were you with me, Nick? Nick's in the studio, not on mic. When we went to Sweet Tomatoes, otherwise known as Soup Plantation for some reason. Like that name just sticks. Soup Plantation.

It's the salad bar, basically. It's really good. Yeah. And this dude was sitting there alone. Was he eating ice cream? He was eating ice cream with his eyes closed. And he was in such a fucking zone. Nick's doing it.

Nick went and sat at his table with him, right? And he still didn't come out of the zone. What a gangster. Just completely out of it. We were trying to get his attention. Nobody's going to break his stride. I don't know if he was. He was alone.

Maybe he was just blissed out. He could not be bothered. He might have got a mellow mood before he came in there. He must have had a mellow mood Marley thing. A Marley mellow mood. Anyway, NBA offseason. That's just a moment that's always stuck with me. So it's also time for your fourth pick, as it is.

I'm going, and you talked shit about Mission Cantina, but they got a hell of a fire pit, and that's what I'm taking. Oh, yeah. Number four. Sure. Fire pits. I love when a fire pit's right next's what I'm taking. Number four. Fire pits. I love when a fire pits right next to one of the busiest streets in America. Yeah.

Personally. And that's what. And that's what Michigan Tina gives you. You guys. I bring good things into your life. And you just find any way to poo poo it. I bring you $20 pitchers of fucking margaritas. I bring you chips and salsa for the table.

And you guys, I bring you a fire pit. Let me step over some human shit on my way to this fire pit. You guys poo-poo it. Right there on the sidewalk on Sunset Boulevard. Good gas station right across the street. There's no gas station across the street. I like how you didn't say there's not going to be human shit on the ground. That might happen.

No. A fire pit is not going to hurt my argument by lying. One of the busiest streets in America. Mission Cantina aside, fire pits are dope. I love a fire pit. Holy buckets. Holy buckets. You guys are absolute scoundrel at the same time i will advocate for the roost which always smells like chicken what a fucking dump it didn't used to always smell like chicken fucking dude it always smells like these two the other night and i love it the biggest debate roost and michigan tina when we were trying to

figure out where to go yeah i've never seen you with such hatred be like fuck that place fuck it it's awful it's a it's supposed to be a dive bar but everything every drink is fucking 12 bucks like that that doesn't jive with me it's not all 12 bucks it's it is it's not because it's all off the record because it's all cash. Yeah. No paper trail. I don't know what I'm financing. You could probably bargain for some of those drinks.

I never noticed that. That's my question. Why can you pay for the food with a card? Yeah. I never thought of that. That is very true that there is no paper trail for the fucking drinks. Whatever. The girl knows to give Bori Coddy Sark as soon as he walks in.

It's hilarious. But fire pits. I definitely agree. Now, are we talking like that encompass like a fire on the beach? Any pit where it's below surface level. Where you've made a fire. Yep. Anything.

Like a pit situation. Below ground level where it's a pit. Something you might huddle over and cook baked beans. You've got a hobo sitting here in camera. Just a single bean on a stick. You know, my cell phone doesn't get reception out here. I don't know. We might die.

This might be our last meal. Yeah, I love a fire pit. It's good. I love sitting around it. Yeah. It's primal. Yeah. I like the smoky, the smell, you know?

Yeah. The good fire pit smell. And everyone seems to be in like a really fun sharing mood which is nice like everyone's a little more like ah you know we can talk about her you know it's been a while i could you know i'll bring it up that kind of thing and a lot of anybody want a beer a lot of that uh-huh yeah hey can i get one of those pbs they're for everybody yes of course go yeah i'm getting i'm getting up going to the cooler anybody need anything was there a grape on my PBR?

there's like a piece of cheese wrapped around my beer just a loose grape just a slice of turkey wrapped around my beer like a koozie a long hair circled around it the wet can of PBR who didn't put the lunch meat in a container and they just threw it on the ice

how does that long hair always end up in that cooler, by the way? Zach's just punching himself in the chest like Mark Wahlberg. Whenever Shane goes over to get a beer, some hair drops in there. I love it. Yeah. A good fire pit. I love a good fire pit. It's an excellent pick.

And they're like swimwear. Okay, yeah. I don't good fire pit. It's an excellent pick. And they're like swimwear. Okay, yeah. I don't want to step on my next pick because I was going to bring up something that is good about fire pits. Well, it transitions. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to go to my next pick, which is a summer camping trip. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yep. Camping during the summer where fire plays a big part of it. Absolutely. I love sitting around a fire. fire plays a big part of it absolutely but what bugs away i love sitting around a fire maybe somebody like you'll play like you'll play games around the fire and stuff like that just because you're going to be there for like four or five hours i've been known to play past the shit around a fire what is past the shit simple rules yeah so what you do is you get yourself a bottle of some

shit right and then you take a drink of the shit and then you pass it to your right or your left and then what happens and then you just until it's gone ah yeah say you're at a house party and you bring some boons farm house it in like 30 seconds playing past the shit how do you how do you win uh there's really everybody wins because everybody gets a bunch of drinks out of the shit we used to fuck around at the carmel at the big carmel slash blaylock slash my entire big ass family camping tripsing trips. We would sit around. We would just sing. God, I want to go on one of those. We would just sit around a campfire. Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey.

Everything will bring a change of love. In the morning when I rise, bring a tear of joy to my eyes Tell me everything is gonna be alright And then by then there's like all the other campers that are around. Ian, while you were in the bathroom, a Grammy-nominated artist just came in here and sang. You missed it. He already dipped out. There it is.

He fucking went up the air vent. He went to the bathroom. Yeah. Well, you fucking missed it. Are they still here? No, they dipped. He's up in the fucking vents. He went to the bathroom. You fucking missed it. Are they still here? He's up in the fucking vents. Were they going to come back? They left like Predator?

I can do it. No, it didn't work. I was trying to do my Predator noise. Definitely did not work. Hit him up on Twitter if you want him to make the Predator noise. Yeah, I just would sit around singing songs we would play game like first letter

last letter some of that's it you'll like okay so the category is famous actors uh-huh so oh yeah it is you know I say I say Paul Newman and then I would say I would say Nick

Nolte yeah did it reverse the reverse is because you double end it sure we call it the famous actor actress game first letter last letter is way better We call it the famous actor-actress game. First letter, last letter is way better. Well, you call it whatever. That explains it, though.

But you just, anything that's sort of past the time, you know, nobody would be surprised if you did an all-fantasy everything around the campfire. Yeah. You know? In fact. Tell ya. Holy shit, dude. It kind of worked out great.

Great pro-ing. Maybe a fire pit. Malloy's thing. Yeah. A fun thing about a camping trip is, camping is like you can at the end of the night when it's pitch black you can like go into the pitch darkness yeah and just like look up at the stars you can see the milky way see no light pollution it's fantastic you can pee out in the open anywhere just because you've walked far enough away from your tent

even though you're only three feet away from the next campsite at that point i used to think i didn't like camping just because it's a popular opinion among bratty teenagers. I don't want to go camping. Why didn't you look at me when you said bratty teenagers? You did not look at me for about 15 minutes. You're the only one in here that's dyed your hair blonde before.

How am I going to do kickflips on a dirt? Is that true, you brat? I think so. I was that kid. No, I don't want to go to the fucking Rockies. I want to do kickflips. I was that kid too. I wanted to stay at home and play videos.

But now that I am caught up in this rat race, I like to kick back a little bit. I feel bad for not looking at you. No, no, no. I didn't mean that you're a bratty teenager. Yeah, I would get screamed at for being a bratty teenager. Because I would always have music on, and they would just get so mad. They're like, you're not even here. Zach, turn the fucking music off already.

Stop listening to snot. We would go to the camping on the Oregon coast. It was amazing. So you just walk out to the beach and then you're on the beach all day. And then you go back into the campsite, sit around the fire. I would get hammered. I remember Robert Bear Blaylock, my older brother and I, had a beer shotgunning contest. And I won at the age of 17.

Wow. He's got to be bummed about that stuff. Next time i see him i'm gonna bring it up he even calls the results into question but i know what happened i know it's like ian there's some foam in there there's i saw you squeeze out some foam bro did not like this camping trip family camping trips i was always like a little apprehensive at first because you're like oh it's like i'm away from home and all the comforts but then it was kind of nice to get like multiple jobs a day was like oh you need to get go get firewood and you're like that's kind of like a fun job i love chopping wood yeah in small amounts or like oh you gotta go catch our dinner and you're like oh it's like a fun responsibility we'll go crabbing and stuff there's also they were little

like outings our camping trips would be big enough that it was like, hey, eight people are going to go crabbing. Do you want to go? No, I'm going to stick here and play crossword puzzle. Yep. And it's such a fun – God, I didn't ever go camping as a kid. My family doesn't suck, but they don't not. So we never really did too much of that. I've only gone really as an adult, and it's just – it's so anything.

I'm down for anything. Like, you know, let's get a canoe. Let's go out, let's get out on the lake. Or let's just sit here. It's just the best. Laid in a parking lot and looked at stars one time. It's the best. I just absolutely love it. And it's fun. You get to bond. It's a good bonding thing.

It is. Yeah. Sean, time for you to bond with your next pick. Not a great transition, I'll for you to bond with your next pick. Not a great transition, I'll give you that. But your fourth pick. So my fourth pick is going to be a day of go-karting and mini-golf. So there's like, everybody had, I assume, one of these. Ours was called Thunder Road, where there was like batting cages, go-karts, mini-golf, and you'd just

go have yourself a little night there. There's some summer jams playing, and maybe you go on a date. You definitely have some shorts on. Hit the go-karts, do some mini-golf, and it's just the best. I really enjoy it. We had bullwinkles out in the country a little bit, and then

closer in, there was Malibu Grand Prix. But there was no, it was a batting cage and no mini golf. We had, at Thunder Road, they had human foosball. What? Yeah, where you just tether yourself in, just like foosball, but it's humans and you can't move, and then you just kick the ball back and forth to try to score goals.

Can you move laterally? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, it's just like foosball, but you're tethered into this pole and you can move laterally, but it's got to be as a team because, you know, otherwise you'd... That's crazy!

It's super awesome. That sounds like breaking a child's ankle machine more than it does a fun... How many people per side? How can we break the most angles? I think it went, so goalie one, and then two, and then the front line was three and then back so like three, two, one.

You'd have to have hella kids to play that, huh? Yeah. Wow. But around that area I'm sure you could round up 10 kids. They had a thing

where you could you'd put a kid under this like thing that popped water balloons and you could shoot water balloons from a slingshot

and if it landed in the thing it would pop and get whoever was standing there. So kind of like a dunk tank. They had batting cages. They had some dope mini golf.

Did you guys ever call it goofy golf? No. No? All right, well, dope goofy golf. Mini golf. What was it? Putt-putt. Putt-putt.

You know, when I was a kid, I would go to the batting cage, but just with a glove. Yeah. No one would play catch with me. Because you were a bratty teen? My dad costed a quarter uh excellent mini golf and go karting yeah just a nice day out at the complex i'd love to hear more about it but it is rapidly approaching the time we have to leave understandable

and zach is now going to make his fourth and then fifth picks fourth and fifth picks yeah fourth pick i'm gonna do this might be uh like more of a midwest type thing yeah but sitting it's in the garage with the garage door open during a thunderstorm oh it's the best dude it's the best it's like camping but you're still at home uh-huh that sounds amazing we didn't really get thunderstorms like that in the pacific north yeah it's like a it's like a fucking beer commercial when you're doing that you just sit there and you're like this is dope yeah just in your camping chairs thunder all the wind it's just crazy outside be like it's fine in here yep you got your stadium seats unfolded absolutely you could even put a tv out there or whatever the word is

with like a rain hitting dry soil that smell that it makes oh yeah yeah it is the and you get to like the streets kind of flood sometimes you're like i didn't plan on driving anywhere so this is great yeah i'm just gonna watch this it's just dramatic thunder and lightning yeah yeah like big like shake the thunder the power goes out you're so close to it but completely dry i was in denver once when they were having one of those things and it was amazing yeah i've never seen it before the whole sky was like lighting up all the time yeah everything just feels dramatic it all feels like you're fleeing you feel like you should go like go out in front of someone's house and be like get out of here yeah uh that's an excellent thing it is a midwestern thing i would love to experience it at some point i like how you started singing uh nelly by the way

ain't got a trip while we swing and dip and i got that thing on my motherfucking hip i could do the whole thing yeah yeah no no no so yeah excellent fourth pick that's number four and then the fifth pick uh i'm gonna go warm mornings warm mornings oh god i feel like you're eating like you're holding like a half-eaten cantaloupe when you Warnings. Oh, God. I feel like you're holding a half-eaten cantaloupe when you say that. What a warm morning. Then you take another huge bite of your cantaloupe. Warm morning?

There's cantaloupe all over your chin. Mom, who's that weird guy? He just likes a warm morning. Just in your terrycloth polo, you walk out eating half a cantaloupe and say to the kid next door i love a warm morning warm morning sounds like a flower it does warm morning if it sounds like one word mr mr zach it's 3 p.m uh it's a warm morning though a two-word combo where the first one ends with an m and the second one begins with an M is troubling for some reason. Warm morning.

Warm morning. And you said it. You didn't even try to say it. Not like that. I'll tell you what I like. A warm morning. Yeah. It sounds like your morning war.

What I love on a warm morning is to go to a ham museum. Tell me you wouldn't go to a ham museum. I go to a ham museum on a warm morning what do you love about a warm morning okay well at the domicile yeah it's nice and cool yeah that's true in the morning wake up early for work i like to open the door it's just i don't know it's uh it just makes it soothes me all right i like it i like it warm in the morning that's the thing i love about la is the warm morning yeah i've never well i don't know that i've ever heard a weirder combination of words it's yeah it's so it really it's so troubling in portland you wouldn't get a lot of warm mornings no not a lot of warm mornings there in portland not a real warm morning place

yeah portland a lot of cool mornings not a lot of warm or rain it's just nice to come out rainy morning cool morning not a lot of warm mornings yeah oh do you want to say like here's how you sound like e40 warm my rear view mirror warm morning uh warm mornings are nice it's a i love like i'll be having a bad day or i'll just wake up in a bad mood sometimes you know i gotta go to fucking are nice it's a i love like i'll be having a bad day or i'll just wake up in a bad mood sometimes you know i gotta go to fucking work again it's wednesday it feels like friday and you step outside and it's such a warm morning that like you're like immediately you do feel better yeah um thank you yeah it's a good it's a good pick i wish you would have said hot mornings

oh no i don't morning warm. Warm mornings. Warm mornings. I go down the path less traveled. Yeah. It's a muddy path. Down the warmer kind of sort of. It's a muddy, hot, muddy path. Sort of like soggy path. Swamp water.

I had a dream last night I was swimming in the Everglades. That sucked. Anyway. It just came back to me when we said warm mornings. So. Warm mornings. Warm mornings. Fuck. Warm mornings warm mornings. Fuck.

Warm mornings. Yeah. Man. Put a glitch in your system. What do you do? Will you throw us to the next one? Oh, wait. You're picking next.

Sean, it's your pick next. I have to recover. Now, this, it's not going to be that popular, but I have a reason for it. It's going to be a summer job, and it's the first time that you ever get your own money. Yeah. Where you can go like i had a paper my first like summer job was a paper route when i was i don't know sixth grade or something yeah and uh i could go buy like a t-shirt every other week to wear to the skating rink that weekend i'd go get my like my new guest t-shirt or something and i just felt cool because i was like i i purchased this with my own cheddar

that is a good feeling yeah having your own money was a good feeling yeah i was back when i had a job in sixth grade can't get one now but i had one in sixth grade i'll tell you this uh it's yeah it's just it's it's fun and also like yeah working sucks but it when it's new it's kind of like school the first like week of school is fun yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. So your first job, you're like, this ain't too bad. Warm morning shaking his head. Now, hold on. We drafted summer, and you selected an occupation? That's why I said I'm trying to sell us on a bill of goods.

You guys gave me heaps. As Ian Carmel said, you had to go next door to get more shit for me to eat about food from a cooler and you pick a god damn job and no one says peep cause I had a reason for it an occupation your explanation was alright but yeah work sucks in the first week of summer those 30 hours

a week I didn't get to enjoy maybe one of the best summer experiences I've ever had was getting fired a couple days before the 4th of July. Guys, aren't you guys glad summer's here? I can finally work more. You know what was the summer job I had? It was when I was a plumber's assistant.

That's why. I had to rip the drywall out of a halfway home, and I found porn in the plumbing. Worked out then. I do like it. It is nice having your own money. Here's what's written down. Okay. Summer job,

getting money for the first time, Ian working a job for one day. Yeah. That's because I wanted you to tell that story. My dad got me a job as a plumber's assistant. I was like 15, 16.

It paid like $14 an hour, which was a crazy amount of money, you know, for that age. And I went, I got there at 7 a.m. They had nothing for me to do. So they had me pick all the loose cigarette butts out of the yard and move one pile of bricks to the other side of it for no reason,

just to do it. And then they sent me out on a job when the plumbers finally showed up, and it was in Hillsboro, so way all the way back out to where I'd driven from. And it was a halfway house with no AC, no water. And they would salzol out these like fiberglass showers and then i by the way was just wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and they had me rip out these showers because i was this gigantic kid meanwhile all this fiberglass is getting in

my skin and my lungs i had no idea and i'm like my arms are starting to burn they're like oh yeah the fiberglass will do that no water by the way the way. Six, seven hours, it's fucking 95 degrees, and we're in a house doing manual labor. I'm sweating bullets. No water. We don't take a lunch, and we rip it out. And once we rip the shower out, someone had somehow hidden porn. It was a soggy, old-ass porn, because it was halfway. You know, you get out of prison, you go there for like a few months.

We finally leave at like six and on the drive back, you know, they're like, that's when I learned the term beer 30. Because one of the plumbers asked the other plumber what time it was and he said beer 30. See, that's why. So that's what I, that and a hundred dollars are what I got out of that day. And that's what Sean picked. That's why it's a good pick because we got to hear hear that story it was my arms burnt i went in and quit

the next day my dad i told called my dad i was like no no i used to use like a fiberglass mop handle as a kid it's like a sword and yeah i would look at my hands and they'd be all sparkly yeah they fuck they sticks in your skin when there's a lot of it it really hurts i went in and quit in person i went i was like no and i went back home though yeah um anyway yeah summer jobs yeah yep uh pick pick five all right five beans in a job that's what you want summer to be i'm gonna say my only my only enjoyable summer job was the one i quit it was a i worked at a pizza place, and this dude wasn't paying me because it was all under the table. And I had worked there for like three weeks. And I was like, am I going to get paid yet?

And he said something snarky like, that's what I'm paying you for about something. Actually, you're not. So I took the pizza I was making. You go, I took the pizza. I took the pizza I was making. Did you guys hear that? I took the pizza I was making. I walked outside, and I curled it like a Frisbee across Route 6.

Oh, man, what a gangster. And I went home. That's sick. That's fucking fantastic. So I took out the pizza. I took out the pizza. I curled it like a Frisbee, and I re-abused Distribute. That's sick, dude.

It was great. I love it. That's amazing. Okay, so with my final pick, I'm going to take something that... Oh, fuck. I'm kind of torn between these two things. All right, I'm going to take this because it hasn't fully been covered, and I do feel like it deserves its own pick.

Swimming in nature, though. Not in pools. Like in the ocean like we were yesterday. In a lake. In a river. Yeah. It's fucking amazing. Just because we didn't like fully talk about it.

We went to Manhattan Beach yesterday and just went swimming in the ocean. It was so great. Yeah. Getting tossed around by waves. Yeah. And I'm a big ocean person. I just like how small it makes me feel. Yes, me too.

You're just like, man, okay, it's going to be okay. You know, you're like, there's bigger things. Yeah. The ocean's perfect for a hangover too. Oh yeah. Yeah. The salt water just. We would get a little stoned and then like go swim, go like swim and like, like get tossed

around by the waves a little bit. We would wait. So we would wait for like the wave to get like right where it was brought to crash and then just. Let it carry it. No, you just try to run sideways. Yeah. While the water's pulling you and you, you try to make it seem like you're running across like a busy street until you just get demolished and you dive into it a little bit

yeah we were giggling like kids yeah i honestly can't remember the time i've had that much fun it makes you feel so it's just so fun it's so simple yeah it's like it's just life you're like oh this is just dope just a ton of of water. Being with your friends, hanging out, jumping into waves. It was just so simple, so fun. Get a little sun-kissed. And then I love it in lakes, too. I just love swimming in places that like – I love pools, too. Yeah.

I just love swimming. But there's something about the summer where you can just go swim in these like – And you get that sun. Yeah. And you get a little tired but not like cash. You're just like, ah, I just feel – It's the best kind of tired. That calm-ass tired. And then you go take the shower.

And you do that shower. Take the shower. Then you do that shower. Then you drink some beers. So swimming in nature. Mike Malloy, it is time for your final pick. The final pick of the summer. Is getting drunk enough to tell your friends you love them because you're pretty dehydrated. I'm dehydrated a lot, man. The only time of year that it happens for me is when I'm a little dehydrated.

I let the boys know, hey, I care about you. I love that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I must be dehydrated all the time. Sean is just in a constant state of dehydration. Yeah. Never had enough water.

I love you guys. You're amazing. I'm dead serious. Yeah. I love. That's one of the best things in the world to me that you just said that. Let me get a couple of whiskeys in me. Let the sun beat down on me for a couple hours.

A couple of whiskeys, maybe a handful of salt. Yeah. Dare us to go camping together. I'd be crying in a good way by the end of the night. We go camping. Yeah. We should go camping. Yeah.

We're kicking around a camping trip. I'd be trilled about it. Oh, trilled. So, yeah, just in the interest of time. Yeah. Yeah. We all love each other. That's an excellent final pick. I thought

this was a good topic because after July 5th sometimes it can feel like, oh no, the summer's already halfway over. And it is halfway over. But what that means, still a whole half a summer out there ahead of you. Get out there. Ring every ounce of life you can out of the remaining, you know.

Your summer might be a nine seed right now, but you can push it. You can push it. You can get in the playoffs. The 40 is not half empty. The 40 is half full, my friends. And there's another 40 in the fridge. Or in the cooler. Right next with the.

Take it, Ian. Take this 40 from the cooler. I would drink a 40 out of a cooler. With a big uncut block of American cheddar. Peel the piece of American cheddar off of it. Unwrap that long, long hair. How did that hair get in there?

Why is it wrapped around everything? Shane's not even in this hemisphere. Is there an uncut block of American sharp in there? I'll just move the wet, wet apple out of the way

and the smushed banana and then grab that 40. Oh, the apple's not crispy? Dope. I like a mushy, wet apple out of the way and the smushed banana and then grab that for you. Oh, the apple's not crispy? Dope. I like a mushy, wet apple. Oh, great. Mmm. A mealy, smushed.

Well, Sean, you can't come to this party. You have your job to attend. Yeah. So to recap the picks, Zach just kind of kicked us off with a shower immediately after coming home from the beach. Amazing. And then food from a cooler? Question mark? And then summer crushes.

Sitting in the garage with the garage door open during a thunderstorm. And then warm mornings. I forgot about that. Warm mornings, which sounds like, it sounds like a soft rock album

from the 70s. It sounds like the name of a racehorse. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like the name of a horse in the fucking Belmont States. It could be a feminine of a racehorse. It sounds like the name of a horse in the fucking Belmont Stakes. It could be a feminine hygiene product. It sounds like you were trying to say something completely different, but you just took a spoonful of peanut butter for something. And that's what we heard was warm mornings.

It sounds like it would be written in sort of a 70s font at the bottom of a very golden picture of a couple who you know swings standing hand in hand on the beach at sundown. You know, that should be the name of the boat you buy. Warm mornings. Holy crap, dude. You nailed it. Warm mornings. Hot nights. Sean, you started with a nice little barbecue.

Where are you beating baked beans? And then you took shorts, the pool, go-karting, and mini golf. And then you picked a summer job. This might not be your week, Dom. It might be. I'm coming off a victory last week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The streak ends at one. Broken clock

can't be right more than twice a day. I feel like that's me just projecting how I'm broke. Like, oh, baked beans and a job. I picked it staying light out How I'm broke. Like, oh, baked beans and a job, you know? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I picked it staying light out until like 9.30 p.m. Otter Pops, summer blockbuster movies, big old camping trip, and then swimming in nature. Mike Malloy, you picked boating, summer jams, NBA off-season, fire pit, and then getting

drunk enough to tell your friends you love them because you're dehydrated. Fantastic. Excellent random pick. Pretty confident in my mind. We left some fun things on the board. Getting hella lost on a bicycle trip as a kid I used to love. Going to the mall to walk around. That was mine.

Sleepovers were one of mine. Sleepovers, fireworks. Oh, water fights. Hammock naps. Block parties, hammock naps. Summer cocktails I like. Stuff you only really want to drink in the summer. Just day drinking in general. Day drinking. Getting to lay I like stuff you only really want to drink in the summer

just day drinking in general day drinking getting to lay game outside of school which kind of goes to the summer crushes oh yeah shaved ice

again as a heavy unpleasant child oh unpopular you didn't say unpleasant you were very pleasant that was pleasant yeah fairly popular but heavy

anyway make sure you experience all these things and more make sure you check out On Deck if you're in Los Angeles this Saturday at the Nerd Melt Theater at 9pm yeah that's correct yeah and thank you as always for listening

and tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything do you think we can still catch Loggins and Messina? they can't be far they have a new album out, Warm Mornings You think we can still catch Loggins and Messina? They can't be far. They have a new album out, Warm Mornings. Shaklackity! that was a hate gun podcast