All Fantasy Everything - Textiles (w/ Jamel Johnson, Zach Harper)

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

What exactly are textiles? No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.Guests:Jamel Johnson (@broccolihouse)Zach Harper (@talkhoops)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Everything, the podcast of fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting textiles. Our guest is the comedian. The, like, I throw this word around a lot, but of no one is it more true. The Bon Vivant. That's a person? Yeah, Bonnevon.

I thought that was just like a restaurant. In Atwater Village. Yeah, but what does it mean? I'm just like on my... Just a man? Like a... Someone who enjoys life. A man about town type?

A man about town. A real. You were a man about town. A real daddy auntie de Kumpo type. Daddy? No, no. Absolutely not. Auntie Ante Kumpo.

Auntie Kompo. Auntie Kumpo. Auntie Tacompo. Yeah, it's not bad. Auntie de Kumpo, if there was like a Greek lady in the W. NVA. Auntie Tacompo? Or just put Janice in the wig.

Bring a little grandma, ma, ma, back to this. Why not? Auntie Tacompo? You know what? Did not hold up. Johnana man. Oh, yeah. A lot of them are tough.

Can it hold up if it wasn't holding up at the beginning? That's the hurdle. Which one of those blew your dress up from Jump Street? Because all of them you're like, oh, yeah. Like she's the man, all those ones. They were all kind of bad. I still like ladybugs. Sure.

I mean, of all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's probably like a Dangerfield. I'm your asking, Carmell, as always. Sean Jordan in a Nigeria jersey. Nigerian Sean's in here. Just you can hear that he's in a Nigeria 96 throwback. Just got back from the motherland.

If you're just Nihiri in it, I'll work it into everything. And Zach Harper is here. David Borey is in Bolivia. Yeah, he got delayed. I guess both of our guests and Zach Harper's our other guest today. Yeah, I felt like I needed to sit in David's seats. You're in David's soon, which threw me up. Harper is wearing a clippers jersey.

shirt, jacket. Free quiet. I got there. Who? Free Kauai. They're making them play. They're not going to let them go to Toronto? I don't know.

What? No one knows. They don't know if it's going to happen before the investigation is going to be done before the season. Listen, I know the brain is fucked up. What's the investigation about? I know nothing. Who? Salary cap circumvention.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Steve Balmer, the richest man in the world used another company as a sponsorship. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.

He wants an uncircumcised salary cap. That's right. You got it. Yeah, because his team is weird as hell. Yeah. How do you get somebody good to play there? You got to overpay them. I kind of think if you're the clippers, you should be allowed to cheat a little bit.

Absolutely. That's my man. Allegedly. Allegedly. A little bit. Allegedly. If I'm the lawyer, I'm going to show you just highlights from the season, bro. It didn't work out.

She's got to show you old. We didn't cheat right. You didn't cheat right. That's the other thing. If the cheating doesn't work, also let me say this. Come on. If you offer legal or illegal deals to someone from San Diego State, we're going to take it. That's right, too.

That's also right. We're going to take it. There are so many mitigating factors here. Plus, Billy Crystal sit in court side. Billy Crystal sit in court side. That's shown up in court. That's right. Franken Munez is what we're contending with.

Adam Devine, who I love, cannot be one of your top 10 celebrity fans. That's right. And if he is, you should be allowed to cheat. He's number eight. Isaac's number six. I am. I don't care how much they paid Kauai. The shit didn't work out.

Just let him go. I'm with you, Harper. Man, shit. Free him. Free him. Free the clippers and tie. The clippers should be punished by having to move to San Diego. No, no, no, no.

Short little drive. It's beautiful. What was the last clip of game you went? If the Blazers, if they were going to move the Blazers, but they moved them to Salem, I'd be like, Right, exactly. That's not ideal, but I'd be okay. My dad could go?

Mm-hmm. I'd be okay. I'd be okay. I'm not, no, no. Wine country? Clippers. Mm-hmm. Golf?

Okay, now you're swaying me a little. Camacula. So close. The Temecula clippers. The Tomecula. Uh-huh. What if they move them to Tijuana? Ooh.

Tijuana. Then I might have to go to every home game. Aunt Jane. As a matter of fact. Isaac lives in Tijuana. That's right. That's right. He commutes.

This is a weird start to the episode to have without my camera working. Uh, I am. completely in the dark. Is your camera still not working? It's not working? I thought you fixed it. Shout out to that person

that recognized your sexy little voice in the Uber the other night. Oh, yeah. Stop it. My Uber driver recognized me. Isaac was freestiling in the back. His remix of gear crisis, is that what it was?

I think he grabbed his head like he was one of the gravedics and goes like this one of freestyle. He was playing shook ones, but not the instrumental. He was just like it's on the bus? But new lyric. that shit when there's those kids on the max

rapping over lyric songs max is the train yeah the train in Portland yeah oh it's killed I mean I gotta listen yeah yeah you have to do you think you're better than onics that's what you think

you say that to yourself in the mirror every morning you don't need you haven't had coffee in six months since you discover this one weird trick you think you're better than onics oh oh by the way you're not I'm back

I have not been in the studio in a while What did I miss? Two episodes? Two episodes. Would you guys draft Harrison Ford movies? Oh, so there's a Ocean movies. I like what everyone is saying like

If someone misses one they should come on and just do a quick draft of what So we did ocean movies Yeah. Harrison Ford movies and I got Am I just saying my top fives? Fairly. I got some shit for the Harrison Ford movie. They said we needed a bigger Harrison Ford fan in the room.

Not as many cuts as I thought. There are some cuts. What are you talking about? Wait a second. But give it a, well, can you do it cold? Okay, cold? Do it cold? And then look.

Do I get, okay, so I'm going to take Empire Strikes back. The Star War. I'm going to take, I mean, probably Raiders of the Lost Dark, although actually let me go ahead and do Last Crusade and get that father-son relationship. That's right. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and pluck witness off the shelf. That's the Brad Remphro joint.

I did. I screwed this up before, didn't I? It's not the Brad Remphro joint. That's the jury or what. Anyway, keep going. Witness, this is all off the top. It would help me to look at a list just to refresh my memory. Yeah, you can.

I just, that was good enough off time. Probably one of those, like Tom Clancy joints. Oh, yeah, Patriot games. There's Air Force One and Clear Present Danger. Patriot games. Probably Patriot games. Now, you couldn't have taken this because I took six days, seven nights with Anne Hays. and Harrison Forres.

You know how him and Hage. I love Hage. Oh, the fugitive? Fuck me. But now, okay, try to look for 15, or did we need 20? No, we, no, it's three of us. Three of us. So 15, there's 15.

Morning Glory is surprisingly good. Is he the officer and a gentleman? Well, no, that's Richard. What you end up doing. Late Runner? What you end up doing is you draft, we had to pick all three Star Wars and all four Indiana Jones. Not all four.

We didn't all four. Didn't we? Nobody took Crystal Skull. You took Crystal Skull. We didn't need to. We didn't need to. That's what I'm saying. Where were you?

Crystal Skull? No. Crystal Skull is not. I don't want to hear Crystal Skull's not that bad and then get shit for thinking Back to Future 3 is the best one. I got a lot of support on that. We got a lot of support on that. We were having two different conversations.

Yeah. Bro. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's probably one of the best movies ever made. And then back to the future two, you think three is better than one. I'll give you a three is better than two.

It's one of two Westerns that I like. David thinks two is the best one. Ooh. Calling it a Western. You gotta get on some Westerns, dude. I don't, eh. Westerns and war movies, not, they don't do it for me. I mean, they're fucked up and not good,

but it definitely explains how we ended up here as a culture. It does, but you know what I don't like? These potlines are nuts. I don't like, they've got to be so unbathed in the West. And that's, that I can't get past that. But then you get the bath scene.

The dustiness. Where it looks like, what a bad. Those are the only things I like. I've never had a bat that good. When I play Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2, I only go to the bath. You just go rolling in the dust and then you bake. You know, how gross do you think that bathwater was? Oh, my God.

Just syphilist. Oh, you're in K-19, The Widowmaker? There were fucking 15 movies, my friends. Well, then why did we get all? Why'd I get so much shit? Pop off in the comments, y'all. It's like a smash. You did a bad job and you're a man of no scruples.

I can tell, just coming through the windermone. They didn't hear one scruple. Ocean movies. Ocean movies. Oh, man. K-19 the Widowmaker. Again, no. I'm definitely going with a hunt for Red October.

Finding Nemo. Finding Nemo was, yeah, that was the clip. The Abyss? Oh, yeah. The abyss is a good one. What about something I watched the day? Titanic. Jaws.

Jaws is an ocean movie. Banger. They're phenomenal. Do you just say Jaws? You know what's a good movie. Jaws. I just rewatch it two days ago. No, but two days ago, I rewatch Jaws.

It's a summer movie. It's a tourism movie. Yeah. The mayor, not a villain. I like the mayor. You like you. You're going to keep it down open? Yeah.

We got an economy to worry about. Yeah, I mean, listen, it's what Widows Bay is all about. That's what Widows Bay is about. It's Jaws. By the way, Wittos Bay, get your eyes on it. It's great. Good show. Whitman.

Have you seen Witness? It's possible. What's witness about? I don't remember if I was. He witnessed a murder. No, a kid witness is a murder, but the kid is Amish. Harrison Ford. Was there any electricity involved in the murder?

There was because they happened in Philadelphia. Why was an Amish kid in Philadelphia? I'm not going to spoil the whole. Okay, so. Training. At the market or something. He played for the sixth. Selling candles, young, I've seen somebody.

I was at Redding Street Terminal. They are always posted up at Redding Street Terminal. Selling stuff. Trying to give my pretzels off. Pyes, tears, pretzels. That was a hard day. Which day? You just said, they are.

always that, like, that was a hard thing. Yeah, I'll say the Amish. They're not going to hear it. Yeah, they don't, they're not checking the tape. That's a good point. Yeah, good job. Yeah. And there's tons of, I think, there's probably more of motion movies then. Yeah, it was easy one. Did you take the beach with Leonardo DiCaprio? I just watched the beach last night.

Of course you did. Yeah, because there's no, okay, Andy Wood, bless his soul. HBO account's not working, so I couldn't get entourage like I normally do when I'm in L.A., so I watch the beach. Good call. No wonder you want to stay with me tonight. You just want to watch Antorash. Hey, Harper, sorry at midnight, but can I crash with you now? I need to watch three episodes of Antaroch. I'll be there a little later.

I got about $50 of Taco Bell in the way. Man, it was a scene when I woke up today. I woke up and I was like, oh, man, I think I got a fart. And immediately, I was like, no, that's a little more. Sean got Taco Bell last night. Okay. Three Gordon. And you went through the new menu?

I did. So I sampled. Okay. I don't know. I got a whole. I got a whole. They have a lettuce. They have a menu where they're pulling back on the lettuce.

Is that right? Thank God. Yes. They finally, finally falling down my lane. Undeterred by the whole lettuce crisis. Yeah, they're like the ground zero for it.

We're only putting it in there for show anyway. Yeah. Crunch. Oh, is that what happened to me? No. No. Okay, it can't be. This is all the Taco Bell.

I got three gordita crunches. I got an enturito. I got a beefy five-layer burrito. That's all ready. And I got the nachos and a five. It's so much. Didn't eat. it all. It's two weeks.

But I was kind of. Two weeks worth of Taco Bell. Yeah, I was poking. So, yeah. Bites out of everything. You know, shout out to me. I started taking the lettuce off my tacos like three months ago. I am going to brag about that. You felt it common? I was ahead of the game. Yeah. I'm like, actually, fuck the lettuce. I don't need it.

Follow the money. Taco Bell lettuce does nothing. I just knew. Yeah. Sometimes there's a crunch. I put some chips on it. You go to Home State? You go to Home State. I like the, I got the lettuce. on there. Right. I just did breakfast tacos.

That's like where it all, where it all popped off. Is that where it went down? Mm-hmm. The raspberries. Yeah, raspberries were in, were diarrhea all over them. Michigan was Diarya Central. Yeah. And you're may also, we were just in Milford, Michigan.

That's where Laura's like second cousins live. Your boy, Donnie Boombom was there the day after us in Milford, Michigan. Donald Trump went to Milford, Michigan at the proving grounds, which is where they test all the cars for GM for whatever reason he was there. But yeah. Up there collecting a bag. I'm going to make a shirt a bag is straight I drove him there

It's ridiculous Were you overcome with a sense of pride I did feel like an eagle I woke up that morning I was like sorry I'm all swole up in my chest I just feel American today I go to the airport I'm like happy America day to you

That man wearing a Nigeria jersey Is passing the versions of Donald Trump and Sean Jordan Sean Cougar Malin Jordan It was a scathing introduction Yeah September 26 Portland, Oregon.

Oh, yeah. You know what's happening there? We're doing the AFE 10-year anniversary shows. We're doing our first show sold out. Second show will sell out. Get those tickets. It is going to sell out. Laura Peek?

Are we doing it? We announced that yet? Have we not announced that yet? I think we have. But I mean, yeah, so Peek's going to be the guest. You would be remiss. On at least one of the shows. On at least one of them.

And I think we've talked about the topic. If, I don't know if you, but anyway, the topic is going to be fantastic. We're going to draft Gundam, uh, Gundam-Gundamer characters. Also, I got some dates. I got some dates. Nah. Harper's here. Come on.

All right. Please. New Orleans. August 15th. And then Minneapolis, August 21st, 22nd. Chicago, August 23rd. And then the Motor City Comedy Festival headlining on September 17th. This is coming out on October.

This comes out this Thursday. Oh, okay. You're Shane Tora is there. What did I do? Headlining? Yeah, headlining. Headlining? Headlining.

I can't tell it. I'm headlining tonight. No, what do you do? I can't. I can't even do you excited. I'm headlining tonight. I got to close tonight. New Orleans in August, huh?

That's going to be great. Big roaches. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm already nervous to see the roaches. Pack your short shorts. Yep. Oh, well.

Flowers, flower shirts. It'll be fun. Great. Keeping the stash. It's not a stash. Not anymore. The beard is too prominent. Okay.

It's a full connection. Yeah. Can you see that this is longer? You're not, really? Yeah, but not enough for us. All due respect in the stash community. I'll trim this down. You can be bon if I trim this down for tomorrow?

If I want to, no, no, I would welcome you with the mustache. You need you to shave everything. Yeah. With a, like, with a razor. Like to wear on that right now. Like it's the Old West. I want you to prove it. If you want to be a mustache man, I need you to prove it.

I'll do that for tomorrow. I'll do that. You can go back to the 5 o'clock shadow after that, but I need you to really live in it. We don't mess around in the mustache. That's right. Yeah. I'll do that for tomorrow. So in two weeks, you'll see it.

You'll see what this looks like. Go see Sean on all those dates. Come on. And then seriously that show. Also, the Patreon, it's popping off. Go get over there. It's the most fun right now. We got the words you think make you sound smart, volume three up there live from New Orleans.

Oh, boy. Get on it if you're not. There's like seven years of stuff on there. Yeah. I think there's like 680 posts or something. That's amazing. Yeah, so tons of stuff to go listen to. It's a steal at double the price.

I'm done. I'm done pitching. All right. Zach Harper is here. Back to Nigeria. 1877 to bounce. Wait, what is? it?

855 NBA jump. Okay. 855 622. How long? What's 1-877 the bounce? I don't know. Come on, man, out. You don't look to big butts.

Subscribe to the bounce. There it is. Free newsletter from the athletic. Hell you. Now just Tuesdays and Fridays until the season's back. Yeah. And then we're back to five days a week. Cynophobe.

Here's the science. Emotional hoops. Deals and donks on serious X-M NBA radio. Not for a couple more months, but back when the season's back. Help me decide where I'm going to go on vacation. Ooh. What are the candidates? What are the trung candidates?

Let me say Charlotte off top. Just want to make sure that Javila heard what are the trung candidates? Not. That's good. Fucking with that. Fucking with that, actually. Greece and Croatia together. Croatia.

Iceland. Ooh. Okay. Are good things about Iceland. Reykavik. And I would go to the Faroe Islands. On the Iceland trip? Yes.

Okay. Spice run. Spice. Ferro islands. I've been talked out of Switzerland. Oh. I've been told it's pretty boring. I bet it is.

Yeah. I bet it is. I do want to just see some mountains. You could do like the north, you could do Northern Italy. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Northern Italy Switzerland. Yeah.

Yeah. I heard that Iceland is like. gets boring pretty fast too. But I do want to just like I would drive around I would go to the Faroe Islands I kind of just want to unplug and

All right Can I say something? Do you have confidence in yourself to drive on the wrong side of the road If you go to a country that does that? I've done it before. Have you really? Yeah, I did in Australia.

That seems Was it terrifying? It seems awful. It's not bad when you're just driving When you have to turn. If you're going straight When you have to turn it would fuck me up Even going straight, I'd be alarmed.

Yeah. No way. No, I don't think I could. Have you ever done it? No, I've never done it. Is it weird to passage? I wouldn't feel great. It's weird to passage even, I bet, when they're like, when you're with a confident driver who's.

To passage. Yeah. I like that. I guess that is the word. I like that, yeah. Because I'm a passenger. Yeah. So I'm passing.

That would be the verb in that sentence. You did passengers this morning. I picked you up in you passage. You haven't read a book since fucking February. you wearing. I finished once upon a time in Hollywood. I started anatomy. Oh, that's right.

You are reading. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on my third book. Someone over here said I wouldn't finish two all year. Hey, here it is. And in July, I finished a couple books. That's great. That's great.

Also, I'm proud of you. Might go back to Japan. That might be the move. I'm kind of thinking that might be the move. When are you going to go to Korea? Get some whiskey on a dinner plate. He goes to North Korea. When you go with me?

Hey. Yeah. I was just there. Maybe in two years? Let's go in two years. All right. I would power rank those. So what's the deal?

Greece, Croatia. That's the leader in the clubhouse. Yeah. Because then you could do a little scouting, too. I've heard amazing things about Croatia. That's right. They'll love it. They'll love it.

You can run that at every restaurant. I have talked a lot of shit about Thanassus. That's okay. But you could balance that out with how much good you've talked about Mario Hizonia. That's right. I do it. Crobie. Mario back?

He's back. Cleveland. The real king. That's right. The real king. his return. Yeah. You don't need LeBron.

You don't need LeBron? It's 41. Yeah. Marty Huizonia is just now reaching the peak of his career. Give me a 32-year-old Mario Hizonia. That's what I want. His athletic skills dimmed just a little bit. Yeah.

Because he was too good of an athlete. Too good. Jump too high. I think his jersey in the bubble said stand up. I think Mario went with stand-up. There's not a chance. There's not a chance he picked that. There's not a chance.

Hey. Unless he thought that meant. Stand up for him. You know what would be a... Stand up for Mario. You know what he's pretty good. Is the Gordon Hayward Education Reform. Oh, my God.

How do you get your hands on that? That is, yeah. Once I quit the game entirely and I moved to the middle of nowhere, that's my first piece. The Gordon Hayward Education Reform, showing up to PTA meetings. What did it even mean? So if you don't know, when they played, when the NBA played in the bubble, I remember the bubble. For whatever reason, they decided. decided they needed like, oh, because it was happening during George Floyd as well.

And then who was the, there was a guy in Wisconsin. Diana Taylor. Yeah. But there was a guy in Wisconsin who got, I don't know if he got killed, but he got shot by the police or maybe taser. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like they were in a bonus shooting. Yeah.

And at that point, they were like, all right, we're not playing. Yes. Like we're, we're protesting this. Did that when they were, was, but it was in the bubble, right? Yeah. Yeah. And the legal side. No, it was in the bubble.

And they were like, hey, if you guys. guys want to put like social justice stuff on your jerseys instead of your names. Here we got some, we got some templates. They're a bunch of pre-approved ones that are allowed. Pre-approved ones and for the guys who... Because if you're going to protest something, you'd love some pre-approved line. And for the Republicans, they had education reform. Which is insane.

It's like so broad. It's crazy. It could mean anything. It could mean literally anything. They're teaching them too much stuff. Yeah. For Mario Hizone, they had stand-up. Yeah.

I swear to God, he's saying. to stand up. I'll check that after the show. Jemel Johnson is here. I forgot I was here. You're here. What's up? We started early. Oh, shit. We're early this morning. I'm feeling good, though. Feeling really good. Yeah, it's good to be out. Nice trip on the 182 bus today.

Oh, no. Just a little behind schedule. What part of town are you in? We're in Highland Park, bro. I can come get you up north. I could have come get you. I mean, where I appreciate you all. Listen, yeah. Inside just, I like a little bus trip. Put the headphones in.

Exactly. Yeah. I never took the bus in L.A., but I still in Portland, I'll take it sometimes. Or the max. It's just, that's fun.

You connected to the city. It's the reverse of driving. When you're driving in L.A., you don't want to be in the car when the sun's out. That's right. Kind of generally. Yeah, yeah.

Bus, you love it when the sun's out. You don't want to be on the bus when the sun's down. Sun down bus. Does it get pretty real on the L.A. Bus still gets pretty real. It's just a different type environment. It's a little bit,

it feels kind of like you're in a streets of rage, level. Keep your head up. Yeah. People who've been in the sun. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking about training day when he's on the bus. Mixed with Resident Evil 3. It's a little ghoulish. Yeah. After he leaves the, when he almost gets shot in training day, and then they let him go, Smiley lets him go. And they show him on the bus at night and he's all covered in blood. I'm like, I'll buy that. Yeah. He's just straight up. Somebody is often getting on the bus wounded. Yeah. Leaving a guy named Smiley's house. Yeah. I've seen a lot of wounded folks on the bus. Yeah. It's real life. There's wounds. People have a lot more wounds than you think

about. Nobody in here has a wound right now. I do got some shows, though. Listen, um, August 20th. Okay, in D.C. You know, it's perfect. No, no wounds, but I got some shows. I got some shows. I'm fully healed and come see how well I am. Yeah. August 20th, Pub Key, D.C., Penn Quarter. This is very close to, uh, the home of the Washington Wizards, the now officially trying

Officially tries We're trying And yeah Pubkee one night It's a Thursday Do not be frightened by this promo code left hand up All right

Now the tickets Is you're gonna go to my Instagram That's right It's Broccoli House on Instagram All right That's where you're gonna want to go To get those

Okay I heard Will Riley's coming Yeah Will Riley's coming Bob Mike Come We're doing We're gonna release A signature line

Of pajamas With Bub Carington That's right Right. We're going to do that. And special guest, even though not on the team, Corey Kisper, you go. Oh, yeah. Kisper are going to pull up for sure. Because, you know, he's still got D&B business. Absolutely.

He's still getting money out there in like Ashburn, Vienna. Kisperk turned out, Vodafone-themed headbands. Shout out to all my guys in Falls Church. Corey Kisper is invited. It's been sponsoring mattress stores. All right. All Corey Kisperts get in free. That's right.

All Alex Sarts pay double. That's one of you. Alex, listen, just because we know you got it. Yeah. That's all that is. Okay. and October 1st, I'm at the sports drink. Hey, there we go.

I'm having a sports drink with me. New Orleans also a Thursday. This is my Thursday night Goodball tour. Okay. I'm calling it Thursday night Goodball. I love it. And that's going to be me. It's two Thursdays out of the year.

Two of them. Just two. Just two. More Thursdays could pop up. Yeah, sure. Yeah. There's a lot of Thursdays out there. Any random Thursday out of the year, you can see me just like a Louisville

college football game. That's right. They do love a Thursday. Such a Thursday football team. They are Thursday as shit. Honorable mention to NC State. Yeah. If you won't book me in Raleigh, North Carolina, I'll come.

Shots to Julie Touch. You might see a Kent State on a Thursday, too, right? Although it feels more ACC. It does feel more like a C. It's more of a Saturday. It's like a Saturday, maybe a Friday night. That's a Saturday 10 a.m. Yeah.

Pacific time, for sure. With all this Portland Trailblazer, Mishagas, I'm more excited than ever for college football. and soccer. Hey, come on, man. Timbers win. You got to get the Timbers fans to chill. 5-1.

Listen, and they were dogging my man, Diego Luna. Tell him cool out with that. That was a little, I didn't like that. It was a little over the line. I didn't like that. They cut this man from the team and made him do a bunch of Carl's Jr. Use it so many commercials. You don't know what it's like, man.

You have no idea what it's like, dog. And plus, we could have used that full. We're getting dogs by Belgium and then you see him doing the dove men's care. He's doing a Robona on behalf of Dove Men's Care soaping the odorant. You don't turn down dove money. Brew. No, you don't turn it. Yeah. Money is literally clean. Out there, eating Chobani? Eating Chobani with an America jersey on?

Once again. I don't mind a Chobani. I love it. I hit Chobody this morning. Part of my soccer conversion. Diego Luna, come on the pod. You will embrace you. You will be embraced by this Portland or Diego Luna. Both Diego Luna's come on. Speaking of Portland, listen, if you need me to do anything, I'm willing to do like some roadie shit for this anniversary show. I'll carry some bags. guys in the chat, make them book me

on that other show. And for no other reason? I'm not even, I'm showing up. Just show up. I got to go to back in the basket. I bought some shooting sleeves. I bought some NBA shooting sleeves and back to the basket.

And they're just sitting in the back of their store. Yeah. So I just got to get up there and get them. Yep. I just feel like I could just knock out two things. You could finesse both of them. Shout out to that. They were doing a soccer jersey thing too.

I don't know, yeah, where they increased their stock back to the basket. Ooh. A lot of reasons. But that's not... I don't like that. What? That noise he made or the fact that I said soccer degree? I like the noise.

I made a crazy noise. I like the noise. The noise was fantastic. Yeah. Back to the basket, but you're doing soccer stuff. Yeah, because there is no basket. There's no basket. There's no basket.

It's a shopping basket full of soccer jerseys. I don't like that. I don't like that. What are you, TJ Max? Like, no. You pick one lane. No, it's back to the basket. Oh, you know what?

This seems like a good spot to let you know I am active on eBay. eBay.com slash fat Riley You're wearing those jerseys I gave you, right? Those aren't getting moved? Those aren't getting moved? Those are listed right now. I'm wearing.

Maybe I prelisted them. You looked at me for a couple seconds. That Argentina jersey floated away. This Nigeria jersey is going to grace your torso. Is that right? I'm wearing it to my cousins like, you know, African Kinsei. You can't know what they call it. You can try to peel it off Nigerian.

Sean's dead body. See what time it is real quick. Man, I got 300 jerseys at my house. I'm selling jerseys so I can wear these jerseys. If you sell any of those jerseys, I want to shoot them sleep. First off, if obviously, listen, I'm not like, I'm not going to hold out on the paper, man. Yeah.

I don't want money. I don't want money. You just want the sleeves? I don't want to. Because I got, I hit them for all of their larger sleeves. I was like, whatever you got, 2X. Anything Kenny Lofton Jr. Big sleeves you got.

And you had Kenneth Lofton Jr. shooting sleeves. I was talking about this. Someone brought this up to me last week. Yeah. I said, remember when Jamel was selling jerseys out of suitcases? He didn't have to be way more specific. Sold out. You're right.

Sold out, bro. That was crazy. At the F-40. It was technically I'm going to say. Yeah, it was at F-45. And I said, yeah, I think he sold out. And they were like, no. I was like, I think he sold every jersey.

What was that crazy? that somebody bought. I think it was the one, the one, the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the,

uh, it was the Basquiat, Brooklyn Nets jersey that said bacon egg and cheese on the, that's right. I don't know why, for some reason, I almost,

you pointed at me, you pointed at me, and I was like, I don't know, don't know, don't know, I didn't buy that. Don't,

don't mean, don't mean, a woman, yeah, shout out to that lady. Yeah. She bought it right now. Yeah.

Shout out to you. And then I was like, damn it, man, I never even wore that much. I know. It's hard to see that come off. These jerseys are for the street. You're like the Robin Hood of jerseys. People need these things. My name is Ian Carmel.

Those are you all of your date? That's all right. He got engaged. Of course. Yes. This is a plant on your shoulder. I know. Okay.

I kind of didn't want it there, but I was going to let him. It's all right. I just noticed it. I can move it if you want. Because of continuity. Well, once you establish. Yeah, that's right. Plant on your shoulder,

going to be a ball and chain on your ankle pretty soon. Hey. Great. Yes. The answer is yes, Sean. That's something, that is absolutely. That's so Nigerian Sean. That is Nigerian Sean.

To say that. Education reform. Nigerian Sean just tells everyone don't get married. I'll show you the ballot. Nigerian Sean's coming for eight different directions at once. Congratulations. I didn't know he got married. Or engaged.

That's awesome. Thank you. Yeah. Other day, dog. Shout out to Ricks driving and out in L.A. They put the announcement on the- That's amazing. On the board for us.

So please go get a burger. Spaghetti is back. Yeah, spaghetti's back and it ain't going away. No. It's the best. What? Spaghetti. Well, the burger is the...

I'm going to be honest. I don't know if getting the spaghetti at Ricks is really the play. That is the famous sign. It's spaghetti is back. And it was up for a long time. Yeah, like a like, like, like four or five months. It might have gone up like during COVID and then they didn't have anyone to change it.

Because they had to cut it because spaghetti is against COVID regulations. That's where, oh, you can't. You can't. All that spinning on a fork, you can't do it. That's crazy. You can't get collective spaghetti during a pandemic. Yeah, the same time coaches stop wearing suits. Everyone's going to lady in the trumpet.

Yeah, I guess we cannot have spaghetti. We got to, we don't have time to fully get into it, but we got to get coaches back in suits. Almost immediately. Every time I come on the shoulder. Our coaches out of suits? I want it like baseball. Okay. Yes.

And I want Stan Ben Gundy back. We're going to be more of those double XL shooting at least. Stan needs to be the first test model. Yes. States of football coaches are in baseball uniforms. Yeah, that's correct. So you want NBA coaches to be in uniforms? Yeah, shorts?

Shorts. That'd be pretty. And like sneakers? Maybe a leg sleeve. I don't know. I don't know what Quinn Snyder's doing. Who. That'd be tight.

Quinn Snyder would wear a lot of. He would dress like Amari Stademeyer. He would have so many accessories. Absolutely. He would have the finger, the little finger flakes. Yeah. Just adding. I remember because this is like early 2000s.

You started just adding accessories left and right. So I had the little finger bands. I had like a wristband, whatever. Like Ever Levine? I showed up to like a very high level competitive run. And I step on the court for like we're warming up. And this one guy comes over, he goes, you better be able to fucking play looking like that. And I took them off.

Yeah. I was so intimidated. You wanted to make the right call. I was like, like, well, I was like, you know. Just pouring

baby powder all over here. I'm going to get in your kitchen, play boy. Let me out there. I didn't realize about to break some wrinkles. You just keep adding so.

I didn't realize how ridiculous I must have looked. It's fun buying things. It's fun buying things. Yeah. KG had finger bands. So I had finger bands. Yeah,

but I don't know. That's KG, man. He's out of mine. You think I didn't snap a rubber band every time I turned it over? You told the guy's wife tasted like honey-hurtierier. She did.

You know what I did for a minute is I had the wristband right around here for a while. That was pretty popular in skateboarding? Wow. Like the little one wristband right here for no reason. Okay. That was one thing that I did.

I think it still looks kind of cool actually. It does. It does look cool. It looks cool on cool guys. Speaking of cool guys, I got some money from the streets. I got some rap song money the other day. 120 bucks from SoundCloud out of nowhere.

What? It was insane. So thank you for, listening to gear crisis. Is that like a streaming chair or is that like somebody paid? I made nine bucks. We made nine bucks when it first came out. Never got a dime.

And then last month I got 120 bucks. That's great. That's more money than I've made from rap. Yeah. Can I get on the remix? Let me see you. We should do a remix. Come up to Portland, get your shooting sleeves and we'll do a remix.

I have nothing to promote. Come to our anniversary show. even if you bought tickets to the first show, you can come to the second show. It's going to be an entirely different show. And then now that I'm out of after hours on Fox World,

I'm going to see if I can work out a draft for us with fans on that Saturday. Yeah, we'll figure something out. Shout out to everybody who reached out. There's probably 20 venues that have reached out. Hit me back up if you have one of those venues because my Instagram message folder

has become a disaster after appearing in several different reels with Slata Nebrahima. Yeah, it's... It's a mess. It's a mess. My Instagram doesn't belong to me anymore. I'm trying to get it back.

My algorithm is cooked. It's absolutely cooked. You're gonna need two years to get that. It's so... It's like this one... It's like soccer wonder kids. Yeah. And the streets won't forget players.

The dudes I've never heard of. Wait till you get to the, um... Yeah, the like, uh, skill challenges. It's like these groups are like British friends. Yeah. And they're all trying different touches. That's on my TikTok. Yeah, yeah, you'll be there soon.

This kid V-Cose or something like that. He's amazing. Yeah, yeah. And there's a guy named Tibbs. But it's a pos-a-Z. I love the IBD shuffle. Yes. Yes.

Incredible. I hope. We need OBD in America. You want to fix the American team? Get the IB shuffled. Get him on AFE. Yeah. We can come on AFE.

Isaac Book him. I got it. Right. It's done. We're drafting textiles. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper says, just play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. All right.

Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh. A rock, a natural victory. A rock against two scissors. Sean has the winner is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it as a serpentine draft. Now, what is that?

That's a great question. Let me tell you, it's like someone swimming laps in a pool. Olympic size? Yeah. Okay. Big time. All right, back and forth. Yeah.

Freestyle. Backstroke. A butterfly. I want to be able to do that. You could absolutely do that. You could absolutely do that. I've tried. I look like a moron when I tried.

don't know what they're doing. Well, you have to practice. Yeah, you got to practice. If you can skate, you could do a kick turn. You can do a kick turn on a, there's a kick turn in skateboarding. I can do that. But, uh, no, I've tried, you ever try to do that? That like, a little somersault push off the wall and then, then do this.

I'm incredibly graceful in the water. I was on the swim team. That's fine. I've never seen that. I've been in the pool with you. What have you been in the pool with me? I bet in water with you. You saw him being graceful.

And it's so crazy for this to go here without Bory being here. I feel like Bory could swim better than all of us. That dude is actually. He's a... He does love the pool. He is a water guy. Remember that? We're in Pittsburgh.

We got in the pool right before we went to the M Club. Yeah, yeah. I didn't get in that pool. I went to the gym. Oh. We were in the pool in Arizona. Yeah, we were.

But that was a small pool. Still mad about that. Extra. They're going to charge us 80 bucks a day to heat the pool. You need to let it go. It did. It was on like the seventh page of Airbnb. That's on me.

I know what I mean? Deep in the catacombs of the details. And it says you need to pay to have the pool heated. You know what it says on the first page? biggest lighters you get, heated pool. Ridiculous. 80 bucks a day. Should have said heat a bowl pool.

And then I blew it, so I was like, sure, I'll eat that. And I paid to have the pool heated for four days. And then it got me heated for what's it been four years now. Didn't you break a chair, though? There were two broken chairs there already. They did the all Airbnb thing where they like put it back together. Yeah. Totally zombie boy.

What did you? Yeah. It was crazy because one of the, somebody, I think you sat in it and it just, the leg just like, conch like that. Like it was, and the couch was broken. I think you're nervous to talk about textiles and you're taking us on all these diatriads. That's great point. I think that's what's happening.

I, okay, have you guys, as long as you can remember. What will you order to the draft B? Basically, fourth in the first round, first and the second. I've always known what a textile is since the day I was born. Which is technically pop culture. Yeah. Textiles are very important. Big time.

I try to have popular culture without a textile. Who's that, who's that fashion influencer I follow? William K. Wisdom K. Yeah. Wisdom K is talking about textiles all day. William K. William McKinley.

Sorry, I'm talking about senators. I mix them up. Lou the couch. Me, you, Jamel Harper. Sean Ian. Jamel Harper. That's the order. Damn.

We're drafting textiles. Seanian Jamel Harper? Seanian. Seanian Jamel Harper. Jamel hyphen Harper? Yeah. Hyphen Harper. Oh, yeah.

That person was making the WMBA. 100%. With Auntie Antentecumpo? Auntie Tentacoupo. The order, Sean Ian, Jamel Harper. We are drafting textiles. Sean has the first pick, and we're going to get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy, Everything is brought to you by Quince.

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And they started just like $34. They're nothing that's going to break the bank. T's are super soft. You can just live in them all day. They work for kind of anything. Cotton sweater is exactly what you want when the night's cool down. Seriously, it's just everything on there. It's like adult feeling, casual, fun clothing that doesn't feel stuffy.

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and 365 day returns now available in Canada 2. That's QI-N-C-E.com slash all fantasy for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash all fantasy. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Dunkman on TNT. It is a new electrifying dunk league that aims to transform dunking from a one-night contest to a high-stakes professional sport presented by Shaquille O'Neal himself. This is a show that will focus exclusively on slam dunks. The season will consist of four group stage events in which 24 of the world's best dunkers battle for a spot in the Dunkman World Championships with a $500,000 grand prize on the line. That'll get you breaking some backboards. That'll get some 360s,

Maybe a 720. Who knows? I'm out of my depth here, but I do know that I like watching dope dunks with dope people doing them. So you got to watch at the inaugural season of Dunk Man in partnership with Eli Lilly, premieres Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern Time on TNT and streaming on HBO Max. Again, Dunk Man in partnership with Eli Lilly premieres live Tuesday, 8 p.m. Eastern on TNT, streaming on HBO Max. Go get yourself some dunks. Dunk band. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. Except for Jamel.

Except for my four. None of what you mentioned. Wow. Yeah. We the pod guys. What of them's ours? I don't know about that. The pod couch?

The pod couch. Yeah. Pod me out. Yeah. This might be one of the most podcast heavy couches. You both have like four podcasts. You try, man. Basketball Luminati I didn't mention.

That's right. Yeah. Shall I speak on the Wizards? This year? This year? Absolutely. But it's like now everybody is? No, I've been speaking about them way before.

Okay, fair. Big Qishon, Georgia. Hey, thank you. He can hoop. Yeah, he looked great in those USC run videos. Absolutely. We'll be right with you guys. And Trey Young looked like Dobby out there. He looked Dobby like.

He looked wounded. Speaking of the, he looked like he was. Yeah. That behind the back pass? I'm like, this is barely a high line. I don't love $212 million to him. You know what? It ain't my money, man.

That's all I can say at this time. You guys draft like coaches. All-time Washington Wizard. You guys all draft textiles, and I'm going to draft text styles. How about that? Alvedica? Damn, textiles is. Short-hand.

Are there enough? What's more? Textiles are Harrison Ford movies. There's way more fonts. There's infinitely many fonts. 101 fonts.com, obviously. That's a banger. So I didn't really know what textiles were

I mean I have a loose idea So you're going like We're coming in We asked you to come in raw We can't talk Well I mean I know I know but it's gonna get harder But I think that's why I went first

Because then I'll get to hear You made yourself first You said why wouldn't you make yourself heard Get the context closed Oh I know kind of what it is Like it's stuff you can like We're gonna find out You can go like this too

Right So essentially You're wrong though So like a little Tiny, the end of a joint. It seems like that's a good definition of what a textile is. Right? Yeah?

Yeah. Leather. Leather. No. No. How not? Okay, hold on. I don't think so.

Wait. Denham yes. Denham yes. Denham very much, yes. And also a fantastic. They have to be made out of fibers. Leather is not made out of fibers. Well, hold on.

It's out of sexual fibers for days. That's right. Whoa. Yeah, it's not a flex time. It's not a text. I thought we were all going to hype man that. That was not the reaction I was expecting. I was like, oh, I was.

I see all this denim, I'd like some more sexual fiber. Do you have any leather in the bat? I can go like this with leather. Oh, yeah. It can be a sexual fiber. It is. Yeah, for sure. That like Tina Turner and the, what's love got to do with the video.

Sure. Yeah. Sexual denim on her. Hey, now. That's right. Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears. I was going to say it to. Top the bottom.

Top the bottom. Sexual textile. That's right. She did have the denim. Cowboy hat, which was, it was all right. That was fine. No, I don't like that. I don't like that.

I don't like that. No. Oh, like there weren't any of those in Sacramento. Ironically, it would look good with this outfit. A denim, give me a denim cowboy hat, please. It would finish your show off. I put one in the fridge.

Of anyone in this room right now, you would look the most natural. Really? We'll go down on his beach after this and get you a pink denim cowboy hat. You down and down, you're on American Airlines with the hat on? With that? I do think, I do think Michael Finley would. be happy. Come on. He would be like, I see you, partner.

I bet you they got some like, I bet you they got a Bofides denim hat. Oh my God. Down on the border block. Bofides. Have we talked about how Bofides sounds like a Greek god? Bofides. For the Odyssey. Bofoities. Yeah. Ogesias had to defeat Bofides.

Bofidies. The god that used to come down and stuff is not to be in people's mouths. Do you guys searching who played Bofidis? You have to climb Mount Olympus and pay homage to both of these. The Greek god. The Greek god of wordplay Bofides. Bofides in the Odyssey, was he?

Where do I find, excuse me, where do I find Bofides? Who play Bofanis in the Odyssey? Oh, my God. Holy Bucats. No, he does, though. Yeah, denim's a good, that's a good textile. Yeah, you wear it? It's our most American shit.

Absolutely. You know, I don't wear a lot of. Not really a denim guy. Not anymore. I mean, I've been, okay, tell me. I want to get a baggy pair of denim jeans like the kids are. Can I do that? Can I pull that off?

Yes, you're a skateboarder. Yeah, exactly. You can actually skate, man. Yeah. It means you're eligible for all that shit. Yeah. I'm excited. You could almost wear a Nigeria jersey.

That's right. Almost. Almost. I wouldn't do it. Is it not on me? This is a very controlled environment. I don't know if you're taking it. You don't take one step out of the jersey.

The first thing you noticed was this jersey, so I probably don't go. It's hot. Right. I probably don't go too many places in this jersey. I do. I hate to tell you he does not have an undershirt on. Hey, that's fine. Listen, but I'm, I would wear an undershirt.

I'm not wearing an undershirt. I'm raw on this. Are you raw? Yeah. I like to go as raw as I can in a shirt. Like those jerseys that we got for you, one is. I don't put a color of mine. Wow.

Raw as you can. No, but like, like, a, like, a, button up like I got this other jersey I'm going to wear in the next one I like the undershirt I hate going wrong on a shirt I need an undershirt I'm an undershirt man gets on your nipples bro that's a textile issue I'm kidding I don't like you got to get better fiber but the weird I don't like stuff on my nipples I'll tell you that so well anything interesting any fabric is going to end up on your nipples yeah you're wearing it what about what about both of these you got to spread them out pretty far I mean you're a Greek god I'm sure yeah yeah you can

You can get it. Slatko Bofides? Can you talk about how going into the season, can you write in the bounce or something like that, that the Raptors have a guy who they're going to think about bringing over names Slatko Bofides? Absolutely. I will absolutely do that.

He's from North Greece. Can you tell that, too, Chaining Fry? Went over Chanting Frye. I think, like, the X factor that nobody's talking about the Raptors is Lacko Bofides, and if he comes over. That's right. Yeah, denim. I like denim how...

They got stretchy denim now, which I'm into. This is a little stretchy. We finally got a hold of that. I just got back into wearing denim about a year ago. You're the guy who doesn't wear denim. Yeah. I bought a denim shirt when I did Comics Unleashed. Tried to wear it.

They wouldn't let me because it got a little Levi's tag on it. What? The little red thing. Come on. Let me take that. But it's like a nice, like, the metal, are they metal buttons? Yeah? Cowboy.

Yeah. I really do. enjoy it a lot. I got a bunch of of those. I look better and I look better. Oh,

you got a bunch of them do you? Why did you do a show about denim on Fox for a long time? The denim cup. I will do any show where they give me.

You had so many jerse, we went to your green room. Yes, he had. Hell of Jersey. You had to go to like a whole separate fitting room team. They had, it was like on Tarasas.

They have a wardrobe budget. And I'll be goddamned if I'm not going to ring every time out of that. I'm not, I'm like, let me... Every time. In my mind, I was thinking, like, this is one of those entourage moments.

Like, I sat on the counter like a dickhead and opened a bottle of Tito's. He did. Yeah. It was so fun. Just pulling. Oh, it was fun. That was thank you for that. Of course.

Anyway, Denham. Denham, great first pick. Time for my first pick. Textual clues here. I have to take linen. It's in the middle of summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a everyday, although in Southern California, it can be an everyday player.

But... Yeah. When a situation calls for linen, there's nothing that could take linen's place. Here's a man in linen right here. That's right. Look at them. I just got two linen shirts. Shout out to Quintz, sponsor of the show.

I just got two linen shirts from them. Shout out to them. Yeah, pretty damn. Big vacation textile. I love it. Big, big evening textile. Right. Big barbecue textile.

Speaking one of my other languages, this is not my main. That's right. Yeah, no. You know what I mean? I might be talking some Portuguese or something. It's a wine textile for sure. Yeah. You can, yeah, you don't want to.

go, I feel like I can get my everyday textiles a little bit later, but I needed my, I needed my, like, special textile right now. And linen is my special textile. Sean knows exactly what you're saying. If you guys did, hear my heart beating. You got your everyday textile. You got a great one. Yeah, no, yeah. It was the best first pick.

Clearly, I don't know what a textile is yet because I tried to pick leather. That's all right. It's a decent. Yeah. I don't hate trying to get away with leather. I don't either. I'll try it. I'll try it again later.

Okay. Fifth round, maybe you could. But yeah, linen, man. How many pairs of linen pants do you go? I have like three pairs of linen pants. Which I think is like about as many linen pants as you want. Yeah. So you get linen button-ups, linen pants, linen shorts.

Yeah. Is there like any kind of heavy linen? You could do a linen jacket? You could do linen suits. Like double. Oh. I did. I had a linen suit.

Yeah. I just sold my linen suit jacket on eBay. On eBay. At Fat Riley. That's right. Just a point at every camera. Sprit. Yeah.

Yeah. It was a. It's a Florida Gulf Coast University themed linen suit. Yeah. A linen football jersey. The linen football jersey. Yeah. The Oakland retirees.

Yeah? That's a good idea, man. Yeah, that's a really good idea. It's just a beautiful fabric. It's just a beautiful. And as you get older, you need to have a little bit of linen. Joking aside, that doesn't feel too bad on your nipples for real. Linen?

Yeah. No, it's great on you. No, that's a gentle. That's what you want on your nipples. Denim on your nipples all day. Denim is not something you necessarily want rubbing against your nipples. If you're built different. Yeah.

It's a character for sure. You got that dog in you. Oh. I don't. Is it even going to translate the general with the generator thing? How he said. You could try. I don't want to.

I just shoehorn it in. It just said build different. So I called you an it. Sorry. Whoa. I know. Now I pulled a full stop to this. I'm sorry.

I wrecked it. What have I been podcasting for 10 years? I don't know what I've done. Next thing you know. No. No. Let him get himself out of this. We're working on the generator the other day, me and the general.

And it had an oil league. And he stepped back and he goes, I think this, I can't even say it. He goes, I think this generator is built different. But he meant it like. He meant it. He melted. I was laughing so hard. Shout out, Ron.

I know you're going to see that. But that I was dying. And I told Laura, she laughed at it. It was a fucking nailed it. I'm sorry for shoehorning that in. But I loved it. I love it. Yeah.

And there was a backyard with a little kennel. And he said, it's got that dog in it. That kennel's got that dog in it. Linen. And things, you know? Wow. What a store. Linen's in things.

Does that still exist? Do you get in things with this pick? No, I just get linens. But it does bring to mine things. That's right. Mm-hmm. It calls to mine in things. Linen's like, that's like, that's like, that's like,

That's like tablecloths and napkins, right? Those linens, I think? Yeah. Are those? Why get that? They're built different. They're built different. Definitely.

They're like a linen shirt. I'm trying to think the inventory of the linens and things. It's like linens and kitchen shit. Yeah, you can get you like a mixer. Did little things get blasted out of the water by bed, bath, and beyond? A hundred percent. And home goods, too, right? Home goods.

Dude, they got ran out by world. World market is the fun one. That's the one I like going to. But here's the thing. like linens and things is encompassed by bedbath and beyond. Uh-huh. Because your linens and things take place in a bedroom, a bathroom, a bathroom, and beyond, which is everywhere else on earth.

Never in a bathroom. You know like in-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-all-in-a-bathouse. I won't. You need to, okay, let's, let me throw a scenario at you. And all of a sudden, let's see you. I don't like that you said scenario. Let me throw a scenario at you. There we go.

Okay. You are at a wedding, right? Okay. And you brought a linen shirt to wear, not a shon. Not a shon. Not a shon. Not a man. To wear to the rehearsal dinner, you brought a linen shirt.

It got wrinkled. Okay. Okay. You call down to the front desk. They don't have a steamer. You're nervous about ironing the linen shirt. You need to steam it out a little bit. You run the shower hot.

You hang the linen shirt in there. What I would do, I would take the shirt off and I would just wave it over and over and over. In the wedding. No, no, no, no. That's going to wrinkle it. No, you've got to like wave it like your... God damn hot in here. Hand here, hand here.

Isn't it okay to be wrinkled? It can be wrinkled a little bit. It can have a little wrinkled. You don't want like... You don't want you to make. I don't know you just put a jacket on somewhere. Jamel, time for your first pick? I'm going to pick cotton.

Yeah. I'm just going to take cotton. I'm just going to have that. That'll be mine. I can't believe it's... I didn't take cotton. The touch the feel. It's the fabric of our lives.

The fabric of our lives. You get a lot of Michael Jordan commercials now. Yeah. It's the only one. with a theme song. It's got so many moves. It's so breathable. It is bedbath and beyond.

You get almost the entire Haines reference. A lot of stuff is made out of cotton, too. That's wrong, man. But we're just going like cotton, like a cotton shirt cotton. I'm just going straight white tea, five pack of white teas.

100% cotton. It'll last maybe a couple weeks. Maybe. Maybe. If you love you. Those five packs of white teas. Every road trip, we'd just all go get a five pack of white teas

and that would kind of, and then they'd be done by the end of the trip. They have some cotton teas that are, if you'll forgive me, built different. That will, that do last like they're well-made. Shout out to my guys in D.C. The Lux T's T's. Yeah. We have our own specific cut of white T-shirt, very thick. But the one drawback, the neck on a Lux Tee, it's like you're being strangled. Yeah.

It's very much like it. It's like a little turt. It's like a little mock neck. It's a little. Oh, it's on you. Yeah. It's on you. You'd love a cotton shirt that had like the sturdy body,

but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, yeah, just a softer, ooh. If you get a little bacony, I don't care. Yeah, I don't want to make a neck. Yeah, yeah, it's whatever. It means I'm out. That means I'm out. Exactly. That means I was doing stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I was out of home people. Fun things. Yeah. That's my inside of my white teas. Yeah, I was running white teas. Yeah, a lot of my tea bag like, yeah, I mean, they're kind of for a while. For a while a month. You can bleach them.

They're white. I never. I just never. I suppose. Yeah, yeah, I never. Yeah, I even thought about that. Of course you can't. What? What? Never even entertained the idea. You got to bleach your whites. No way. I bleat your whites. Every wash. Who was the, um, who's the guy selling white teas in the bubble? Was that Pat Bev?

Pat Bev was selling five packs of like polo teas in the bubble. Yeah, he knew what he was doing. At a crazy markup. He went crazy mark. I mean, almost, Jimmy Butler went in two different directions. Yeah. Nobody talks of, everybody's on big face coffee's case. What about Jimmy Butler's support? in Columbia in the World Cup

almost certainly because of the coffee connection for Big Face. 100%. Yeah. Had to have been, right? He was wearing the hat. A little Shakira on the side. He's got a deal with Van Lewin. Big Face ice cream. They got an affigato. What? That's really good. And it's Big Face coffee. What? Offigato.

There's some Big Face merch that I had in a cart and did not pull the trigger on. The merch cheaper than the coffee? No. No. No. No. No. Everything is so expensive. What I loved was every size coffee was $20 and you got two for 50. Okay. If you're getting two coffees, you're getting a markup. Yeah.

I like buying BigFace coffee and then watching Jimmy Butler going adventures because it's like I know I'm funding. You're funding that. So is BigFace like Jimmy Butler's company he started? Yeah. He's selling coffee at a crazy markup in the bubble. Yeah. Yeah. And it still is pretty expensive.

What were you thinking about buying? It was like a hoodie. Okay. You tell me how much? I would have went scarf. I thought. It was like a $200. It wasn't insane.

I did that in Minneapolis. You were with me. I bought like a $160 hoodie and I wore it one time. It's still sitting in my closet. I'm like, I was so hyped. You could sell it eBay at Fat Riley. I could.

If you want to go split, you know, we go 70, 30 on that. I would, I'd do 50-50. If I come down next time and I bring, because I have probably five, six things that I wore once.

I'm never going to wear again. You slang them for me. We go 50, I'll bring you shooting sleeves down with me next time. Oh, sick. That'll be perfect. Who is buying the big face coffee woodland jacket? Let me see it.

It's pretty sick, though. I'm looking at it. That looks pretty sick. Yeah. How much is it? $275. It's actually not crazy. Send me that link.

I will buy that. I think you just sold a shop out right now. I was expecting three bills. It's not three bills. It's honestly pretty affordable. Winter is coming. I could wear that. Winter is coming.

Yeah. You could wear that. That's probably a different kind of textile that we'll bring up in a bit. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's learning. Yes. I think the price is a big face

have gone down a little bit on the merch. Interesting. Something to think about. Harper, your first pick? Silk. Sure. Yeah, silk stockings. Sure.

Silk stockings, that's right. Silk sucks, though. What do you mean? What? Hold on. The fucking waterbed boy. You know, I was like Silk Man. The waterbeds and silk pillows and silk seats and shit.

Yeah. Whoa, silk does not. Silk is phenomenal. I went through my silk phase. It's got some limitations. It's got limitations, sure. So does she went through my silk phase, he says. I had silk underwear.

I had silk shirts. I had silk sheets. You know what? Silk does suck. Can I take that pickback? It's what was last? He was just remembering a silk mishap? Yeah.

A silk mishap. Because you can have mishaps. Yeah. You got you like one foot in the silk store and you're all scared. Can I help you? I don't know if I'm not yet. Is this a safe space? Yes.

I have a Nigeria soccer jersey. I never understood why there wasn't like silk chairs and silk couches. I don't think it's a, I think it's a famously not durable. But like a, but like a covers, right? Like a cover on a couch. Somebody freaky got that. Isaac. Yeah, Isaac's got a silk couch.

How is it? Does it hold up? He's got a silk, do you have to change. No comment. Okay. It's got a silk fainting couch. I feel like I'm getting a silky voice. A silk reverse cowgirl cowl cow.

With this pick, I'm getting all kinds of silky things. Okay. Yeah. You're playing a different game. Yeah, that's not just close. History. Silk. So I have a denim voice.

What's that TLC video where they got all silk? Oh, Red Light Special. That's fine. That's silk. This is what silk brings you. Yeah. Yeah, you get that silk.

Do you get that fake milk? You can't be sexy in the 90s without silk. Oh, that's one. Yeah, soy milk probably. Yeah. You know that bullshit. Fake milk. I'd like to see

I'd like to see you in this silk shirt, dude. Hey, look at that. Send me that link to. Is that hypercolor? I don't know what that is. Summer League. Week two of Summer League. Talking to Tiago Splitter about the Bulls first season and just, yo.

Big T. I just left Dre and I had a few questions for. any of you guys have a silk item in your wardrobe at this moment. I have silk ties. Yeah, I have silk ties. Yeah, I guess I have silk ties. I know. I don't have any, I wouldn't mind getting into a little bit of silk.

I don't even got a silk du rag right now. I've never been waves. I chose hats over waves. Yeah. Just as an individual, but that's what that is. I think I got one shirt. I got one, but it's like a silk. It's like a blend.

Yeah, it's a silk blend. Yeah. All full silk is tough. It's heavy, too. It's hot. It's heavy. Like silk sheets, they form fit and they're hot. You can't, like, roll around.

They're for photo shoots. That's it. When you move to a different part of the bed, it's so cool. I glide from. And silk, also, silk's value is in the language. That's right. We're silky smooth. We've got fake milk.

Fake milk. I have a silk grand piano. That's the only silk I have. That's right. Whole thing's silk. Yep. Doesn't even make noise. Denim and leather.

I'm still taking leather. I'm going to have a six pick Still on my fucking list Yeah, silk Yeah, I just like silk That's all right Yeah, yeah, I'm good, dude And your next pick?

I'm gonna go with feel I'm going velour You're going silk in the lure? Wow That was like the only thing I knew was a textile It was like How many velour suits have you had in your day?

I don't know if I ever had I had a couple I had velour pants I think Okay Like whatever There was nothing better than a loved one, a girlfriend having Valour pants. There was nothing better. Come on, man.

I never dated a girl that was going down that road. Yeah, same. Unfortunately. But the idea of it. Yeah. The one to say like cherry on the back or whatever. Yeah. Cherry, that's something. I'll just get Laura Valour suit. Cherry is not. I don't know. The first thing he thought of. The first word he thought of. That's crazy. I don't know. Well, juicy

Juicy. Yeah, lemon. Yo, now I want to make education reform. Yeah. What was the other shit you said earlier that was good as shit? Oh, the linen,

okay, linen football jersey. Yes. Then we also do a series of allure pants with all fruit on the back. Oh. That's not bad. Lemon.

Yes. Come on. Grape. Come quiet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Plantane.

Booty. Yeah. A quince? International. Quince. I think we should do. the NBA, the NBA bubble slogans on the back of the

That's right. Yeah. Stand up. Education reform. You and all I have group economics? Yep. Group economics. Absolutely. What?

Voodoo economics. I don't understand what group economics means. It's just groups getting money, man. Is that? I don't know what else you could be. Might be. I think it was like,

I think it was like basically the only way to create change is to spend money within the community you're trying to improve. Oh. That should be on some valour pants. Yeah, great detail. Down the legs. Yeah.

Why you so close to my butt? Really tiny letters. Yeah, I'm trying to learn. What the foot? Trying to get a closer lot. I was trying to improve myself. I'm trying to read. Sorry.

Trying to read what's written on your butt. Silk and velour. You can't really go outside. Not in the daytime. I'll go outside. He's outside. I will sweat my ass. I'm just drinking gatorade in your bed all day.

Will I? What if you did? I will. What if you started that? I may. How hot's it going to be important in this September? Depends on what you're wearing. End of the month, you should be cool.

It'll be down in the 60s, I bet. Oh, that's fine. I don't know about that, man. Cloudy 60s? Uh-uh. Into September? Well, Ian believes in climate change, so. Oh.

Oh, brother. I believe in climate reform. That's right. And it says that in the back of the France jersey. Why didn't we ever have valour shooting sleeves? Too hot, got to be. You want to keep that thing hot, though. Yeah, I do want it warm for 40, at least 40 minutes.

48? 48. I'm thinking W clock at summer. That's right, yeah. I'm just in a W clock still. Well, you're now at all time. Have you ever owned either a silk or a valour clothing item? I had a valet.

You have a valour suit. You have a velour looks like a zip-up. Of course. You mean the Oakley salesman from fucking Sacramento? Yeah, I'll buy that. Yeah. It was a joke gift and then it wasn't. The issue in either of these fabrics is when you start sweating.

It was tough. That's the issue in either of these. When you're in silk, you got to move slow. You're moving. I move as fast as possible. Maybe you're sitting. Maybe like in the back. You got like a scarface table.

Sometimes I'm just. Sometimes the joke goes too far and you find yourself out in the world in the lure and you're like, oh, I was at a grocery store a couple times. Yeah. Running errands in the floor. Yeah. With the matching headband. What color was the suit? It was a deep purple. The deep purple?

It was a deep purple. Yeah. It was a deep purple. Yeah. I know. And then you rub it and then the part where you touch turned to lavender. Absolutely. Chabelle, time for your second pick.

Uh, I'm going to go with khaki. Yeah. Looking for a job. Yeah. What do I need? Some khakis, mom. Look at that. You're very practical textiles from me so far. Yeah, man. I got to get my utility shit. I got to get my cornerstones. We're both getting our cornerstones. Yeah.

Get your cornerstones. You're a fucking, we got principles. You're way like philosophies. You're like a cornerstone, your whole closet? You're like a Saudi, you're buying exclusively Saudi prints fabrics. That's how you get oil money. Yeah. He's thinking long term with it. You do it like Ben Diesel for?

First you get the clothes, then you get the job. That's right. He's thinking long term. I'm thinking more day-to-day. Yeah, I'm moving quick. I'm doing a lot of quick cuts and stuff. Cackas and cotton. Cackie.

That was my entire wardrobe, but that's by. Yeah. Yeah. You know, bro, you ever see somebody like hooping in khakis? I hate it. I'm kind. I'm not there yet mentally. It's intimidating.

The guys hooping like they're the scarecrow with the big cutoff, with the, like, big baggy khakis where they're cut, like, high water style. I'd rather see you hooping jeans. than hooping khakis. It also, it's like a crazy, it's like, they're also the same guys who are doing the, like, is this a travel? They're always freezing on you and waiting to take that last step and spin move, in and out. Fucking Will Riley ass shit.

Exactly. It's Will Riley as fuck. And it's like, I'm at the YMCA. Extreme deceleration. Anyhow, I'm picking those for y'all even though I am hating. Cacky. I haven't done the big khaki shorts before. Ooh, you know what I mean either.

Wait, what do you mean big? They got big, yeah. Like, they got big, they have big khaki shorts. Kids are wearing big shorts now. Oh, I mean, I did it when I was a kid. When I was like 14, I had some giant. I know you did. I had some giant khaki shorts.

Yeah. And denim, like denim shorts that you would think. But I'm, but I'm Valour from Sacramento. Right. And also, I mean, the big shorts are for us. Valour from Sacramento. That sounds like a dating profile. Sleepless in Seattle and Ballo from Sacramento.

Volour. Definitely a lift driver Right, yeah All right, it says Valour's going to be here in 10 minutes I better get sweaty Just you gotta be sweating when you get in the car Does khaki have to be khaki colored?

Wait, so I just look this up Great question Cacky is a color Yes Chino is the fabric Oh Chino XL Also works for me

Listen, thank you for the amendment I am going to take Chino Chino. And Chino can definitely be different colors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be like pink, blue. Yeah. Chino can be any color.

Yeah. Shit. And that's that. I'm not. I'm not. Thanks for the warning shot. So I could get out. It's been a while.

Been a minute. Hey, you knock it off. Chinos. Time for my second pick. I just take it off. I got to go polyester. Shit. Yeah.

All right. I got to go like a real practical. I went pretty summertime with linen. Polyester is just a very, this is polyester. That's polyester, baseball uniforms, yeah.

Polyester is... I'm only thinking of Dickies, like workmen's clothes. Polyester's out, polyester's in a lot more places than you think. That is a workhorse fabric. It's outer space. A lot of disco clothes. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, polyester. I had helladicies when I was a kid. That's polyester. You can switch ass off in some polyester too, though. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, yeah. More than the gym.

Inside of there. More than valour. Absolutely. Cotton is a little more. Polyester is kind of the step down from cotton. You prefer cotton. Polyester lasts a little bit longer. Yeah, tougher. Cotton is a more comfortable fabric when you're like crawling around with an air conditioning unit. You think cotton is saying polyester's built different or vice versa? I think polyester refers to itself as built different and we all know that it's not. That's right. That's right. That's right. A little bit.

that it's just like, come on, man. You're enough. You're enough on your own. The two-chained song, I'm different. Polyester. In the vein of a polyester. Go to karaoke song for polyesterers. Yeah.

I'm different. Polyester singing that? A bunch of cotton being like, do I'm not? I mean, polyester is definitely, it makes me think of a time that has since passed when cocaine was really good. That's when they came up with polyester. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, Quayludes was still available when they came up with polyester. Yeah. When was polyester invented? Let's find that out right now. 1941. No way. Come on, man. I was going to say like this.

John Rex Winfield and James Tennant Dixon. They're both thrown out full names. Yeah. During the war. These motherfuckers. Oh, WWT, the big one. That's why they couldn't go to war because they were inventing stuff. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go. me and me and this other guy with a long name we're working on yeah we need you to get on the front lines I'd love to I'm so close to figure out this shirt yeah there's a shirt with I want to put it like a flower print on it but I just were not quite yet and when you guys win the war you don't want some cool shit to wear

if I figure this out in the next week or two I'll join here yeah I hope I can't I hope I can't I'd love to Polyester I'm saying here Polyester is like a big feminist fabric. Okay. Because for a long time, like, you know, like you would have to iron clothes and stuff like that. And then polyester came back and it freed up a lot of time that people had spent ironing.

Us and silk. Well, you would have to iron silk. Silk you don't have to iron, right? Silk irons you. Silk will threaten you. You are still out. I think silk just kind of gets wet enough. It's so malleable all the time.

There's no real wrinkles or anything. If there is, you just bone up. I don't like you saying silk gets wet enough. Polyester. That's the real fabric of our lives. We'll move on. John, time for your second and third pick.

Cashmere. Yeah. Hell yeah, because I can go like this with it. Class. I've never had a, or I'd maybe had a cashmere sweater at one point, but it feels,

it's so fun, just to like touch it. They're just so expensive. They're not that expensive. Well, depending on where you are. You can get like a, like a, like a, like a 70, 30.

You can get a little blendy. You could get a blended Coles for the minimum. The veteran minimum. Yeah. You go 4060 at Ross. Easily. For the veteran,

I go lie about a military discount. He got the cashmere sweater. Isaac's got cashmere. I guarantee it. Absolutely. Is that, did I just take your pick? No.

All right. God, you know what? He got so many, he knew khaki was chinos. Yeah. You said khaki's like, I don't know about all that.

Yeah. Let me do some research here. I was, I didn't know either. I had to look it up. So you're picking cashmere and you've never had cashmere? I'm doing my best to come in here, honest. It's a high dollar.

It's the, it's the, I don't think, well. I know what cashmere is. I don't think we should be shaming him. Yeah, you got to make a good pick. That's why he's not making, I'm not making him good pick. I'm shaming him for not having any cashmere. Young love got over there took my first two. After Denim, I was going to pick those two.

Young Love. Hold on, I'm going to update my bumble from first. wet sunglasses over there Dick. Gennel silk forlure It's going to be a triple album. We all got to release an album named whatever we put in the Nellie race.

Yeah, cashmere. I just know cashmere's dope. By this, you got till this Christmas, whenever the next Christmas party you go to is, have you a cashmere sweater. Yeah, bro. Okay. Speaking of Christmas parties, we'll go to my next pick, wool.

All right. Wall cashmere back to back. All right. I've had a wool sweater. Mr. Winter. Mr. Winter. He's here. Nigerian Sean in the summer.

Yeah. Mr. Winter and in the winter. And also this is the time to get you some winter gear. That's on crazy sale now. The first year I've done that where I'm playing, I'm buying stuff that I want to wear in the winters. It's the first time I've ever done it. A couple summers ago, I went to Palm Springs and got all my winter gear.

It's 200 degrees outside. I'm in there buying sweaters. You go to those outlets on the way? Hell yeah. I got those damn outlets on the way. We stopped there one time. Home outlets or whatever. You guys don't stop the podcast.

I got a pee. I bought a Jordan shirt. Just like a Jordan longsleeve shirt. And we accidentally left the car unlocked. And somebody went through the trunk. We had all of our podcast stuff in there. Oh, this was in my house. No, it was in my car, right?

In your car, yeah. And they went through the trunk only took the shirt. We had probably $500 a stuff. Yeah. There was like a Zoom recorder, all the mics. Which I don't know how much of mic is worth on the streets. But it's so funny where someone's like, oh, man, I came up on this.

And it's $15 Jordan shirt. So we're pretty hyped about that. That's an outlet mall mentality. Pardon me. I forget what's Jordan shirt. Do you remember what it looked like? No, it was a long... I remember I just wanted to buy something.

Because I still wasn't really... I didn't have that... I wasn't working at ABC Mouse yet. We hadn't like started Patreon or anything. So I didn't really have money, money. But we're at the outlet mall and it was just fun to buy... Like, Zach bought some sunglasses. Yeah.

This is the right number. Yeah. And it was like... like 14 bucks or something. And that's a good-ass outlet. There's like one that's really good and then there's one that's not so good. And they're like right across the street from each other.

Yeah. When you find a good outlet mall. Well, there's the luxury outlets over there, right? Yeah. There's the one with like the Gucci store and the freaking like Fendi and like St. Laurent. What makes up the merchandise at that?

Like, why is it there? Is it, it's a little bit defective, right? It's like a little bit off. It's like clean returns. stuff like that that kind of stuff and it's like the stuff that didn't sell

last season from the previous season yeah so you're getting like Levi's like cow print Levi's and stuff out in the middle of nowhere partly because I think they have to be far enough

away from their actual stores I think so otherwise why are they where they are because I wonder that too because like you go to Portland there's a Levi's store in 23 where they're 90 bucks you go out to Woodburn

they're two for 50 you get the same choice man they feel the same same to me. The troutlets. But I, the, oh, those are the ones out east. Out in troutdale. The troutlets, come on.

The troutlets. The troutlets, dude. I can't believe I've been there. Oh, that was fun. Yeah, wool, dude. Wall. Cashmere and Wall. Wool.

Oh. And I've been reminded. Well, hold on. I'll do it exactly at the halfway point. Which will be after this next pick. I can't tell if I want to go crazy or not. Leather. cashmere, wool, and denim off the board.

Off the board. All off the board. How is your pee? It was great. I'm taking Gortex. Oh, no. Technology. So Gorsex is a fiber.

Technology. It's a textile. I thought they had to be fibers. It's a textile. But it's woven. Okay. That's crazy. Gortex.

Is it woven? I thought it was. Something. Leather just doesn't count because it's just skin. You think Gortex is how? It's just treated skin. Gotcha.

A miracle animal? Huh? Cortex pure scientific. The Cortex cows? You think that's what's happening? Yo, Gortex cows? I remember when Gortex came on the scene hard. My buddy Nick had a gigantic Gortex jacket.

Yeah. He'd wear it skating and we're like, you look so stupid. It was so big. I was the warmest man of all time. Well, in the middle of winter. He was doing the right thing. We're skating.

It's like 10 degrees. Oh, I guess you're in South Dakota. Yeah. Oh, it is a textile. That's a textile. Wow. Yeah. Doesn't look like it.

Let me tell you some things about Gore-Tex. Waterproof. Windproof. Breatheable. Those are three things about it. What if there was Gore-O-Tex, would that freak you out? I wouldn't like, like a jacket with four-arms. I wouldn't like that one bit.

Somebody Photoshop us a North Face, Gortex in a North Face. Yeah, let's see Gortex in a North Face jacket. Gore-O-Tex, North Face. Maybe he's got like the big Oakley's the kids are wearing. How do you feel about... Oh, the Blaze? sunglass Renaissance

Zach Harper fucking shit out of me it feels very forced okay I

that and the mullets I heat I look he did a lot for us who's he

Donald Trump oh he did a lot for us as as a community but I cannot absolutely

cannot support I can't wait to hear who this is What the professor has done with his hair. Oh. It is super upsetting. It's not quite a mullet, but there's something going on I don't like. There's a mullet.

They're doing this thing. Let me cut you off. They're doing this thing where they'll shave a little box right here too. And that's really getting on my nerves. It feels very Australian to me. At certain points. There's very Australian haircuts happening on. Yeah.

But the dudes who do it here aren't like cool. And like the Australian guys are like fun. and cool and hanging out of water snakes or that's the accent. That's the accent. They're like, there's some trashy Australians. Of course there are. There's trashy everywhere. We packed them up and sent them home in the World Cup.

Packed them up and sent them to fuck home. Tate Exum. You, Turkey A. Paraguay. We did lose the turkey. Turkey ate packed themselves up. Yeah, yeah. They didn't do the packing.

They bought their own. They helped up land in. Landon Donovan and then they left. All right. He's got a hair system. I love Edel. We love the Turks. Alper and Shangun.

Yeah. You ever have anything Gortex? Yeah, a lot of Gortex. I have Gortex shoes, Gortex jackets. I got some Gortex. I got some Gortex. I thought it was North Face. Oh, really?

But that's just, it couldn't have been. It was the military who invented it, right? For sure. The CIA invented Gortex. Every textile is invented by the military. That's right. They're the only people who ever needed this shit. There was no wars.

We'd be naked as. Fail. Gortex was invented by Wilbert Gore in 1969. No, there's no way. Gortex. If that's Al's dad. It's not. It's Wilbert L. Gore.

I'm going to be real excited. See what that looks like. Jortex? Jortex. Wiltz. Wilbert and Bob Gore, back in 69, they stretched heated rods of poly tetrafluor. Now, this is the drug textile. Polytachryphaea.

This is angel dust. Yeah. They were sniffing markers when they was making. You melt it down. It'll get you there. Yeah, but I mean, everybody's working with Gortex, man. It's a miracle fabric. It looks great.

Their badge looks cool. Looks super cool. You love when you see that Gortex badge. Yeah. Absolutely. It's just great. It's Gortex. And as a Pacific Northwest boy, I feel like I had to represent.

That's right. That's fair. Gortex. Jamel. Give me a card. Really quick. Before you go, we have to take one more break. I'm about to leave.

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Gaws. Wow. Yes. You, Timmy. Yes. Things are going wrong. I need a gauze. I feel like one of them had to have been one of the earlier textile.

Yeah, man. I fucked up my ankle or I'm Egyptian royalty. Yeah. I need to be buried. Yeah. My leg got shot off with a cannonball. Both ends of the special. Whatever.

Yeah. Whatever. You're not doing that with denim? At all. Denim mummies? You're not doing that with Gortex. They were the VMA. They played the VMAs last year.

The denim mummy. Now that's a movie I'd watch. The denim mummy. They're big on Instagram. They find out. Oh my God. The pyramids. Canada.

Just Wolverine fighting a bunch of denim mummies? What about a valour mummy? Uh-huh. That's hard. I think he's got a couple of valour mommies in mind. Whoa.

Lur mommies? Puerto Rican Day Fest just passed. Yes, it did. That was like a couple months ago. Hey, I got you these pants. It says valour mommy on the back. They're khakis, but they say valour mime on the back. Ooh.

Now that is, now that's season three. We start putting Juzi Kutour on the back. the back of khakis, just on some dickies, just... Yeah. A bunch of dudes fixing your heater. They've been writing shit on the front of the pants. Cackey daddy on the back of the back. You've got to do in the back.

The medical fabric, could you make a gauze shirt? You probably could. Yeah, it's going to be... If I felt like it. Real tough, though, to keep together. Not at all. That thing's going to... It's going to start sagging, drooping pretty quick.

Yeah. But I would do it. There's something called cloud gauze. So, yeah, there's gauze shirts out there. Cloud gaus. Cloud Gauze. Gauze is what's up. That's the Gauze in Cloud City.

So I'm looking here. It says Gauze is named after Gaza, the area in Palestine. Wow. Get out of here. We'll be right back. Whoa. How do you spell G-A-U-Z-E? Hold up.

Word. All right. Is that where it's from? And then, well, yeah, apparently they were, the production of Gauze in Gaza is first described by Plenida Elder in C-E-23. Pliny the Elder? this is applying to the elder hat. Joint?

The original dapper Dan. Yeah, that's right. You get a Goss 2-2? You get yourself a Goss Vail. Look at that. You said Gauze Tutu? Fuck with me, man. Me and Miss Rachel, we riding out.

That's right. Gauze down. That's right. Gauze down. Gaws down. Shout out to Goss. Great pick. We stand with Goss.

Sleeper. Mario Zonni is going to have gauze up on his jersey. Goss up. You just watched gauze the other day I did I watched gauze You call you a wizard of gauze Wizard of gauze Hey what do you cut out that mizia gauze?

Oh Yeah Gauz Gauze easily Maybe we'll go to lunch at five gauze Five gauze burgers and fras Five gauze burgers and fras Sounds like a sublime song

That's crazy I sound just like it Yeah Sounds just like Brad Noah. A, does that sound like a sublime song that didn't make it? B, that was you trying to be Bradley Noel? No. That was him being Bradley Noel.

Bob Gosbergs and Praws. Wow. That's why I stick to rap. Shout out for the 120 bucks. Thank you to the streets. Oh, watch out, y'all. You know I couldn't do my own rap song. To save my life right now, I couldn't tell you the lyrics.

Oh, all right now. My name is Sean and I got opinions. You somehow sounded like more formal on your rap song than you do when you're just normal. Isaac was trying. So, Isaac was trying his best. He stopped me. He's like, you got to yell. You got it.

Like, all right, I'll scream. And then I listen to it. I'm like, I felt like I was screaming. It was. I bet it was like that from hustle and flow. We're like, you were in the booth and he was trying to tell you to like to push it out. Yeah. And I did not.

I haven't seen hustle and flow in a long time. I bet it holds up. You think so? No. I don't know. I don't know. It depends on if he has his velour suit on it. Yeah, first off.

Smoking his little silk swishers. I love this movie. The movie holds the hell up for days. Mank? Mine? Mank? It'll be weird seeing Terrence Howard, someone I primarily think of as an academic now.

Yeah. Yeah. In a movie again. Zach Herbert, for your third and fourth picks. Satin. Wow. He's keeping it.

You are. You're going to have a couple kids by the time this is not. He's touching out like this. Silk for Lur and Saturn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, man, I love Moody Blues, baby. I love that song. So jam. Yeah. And I love you. Oh. Oh, I love you. I never liked the name Moody Blues.

Nah, I didn't either. Yeah. But Heath Kerchart skated to that. And sight unseen, you probably know that. Trans World video. I think the 11th one. All right. Stated two nights in white satin.

And that's how got on my radar, also playing in one of those scenes at Casino, Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone are about to do it, but they haven't yet. They're just about to start the affair. They're dancing around each other. Oh, they are. Amorously. She's dancing a few feet taller. Since we're here,

I can throw my fourth pick into the mix, too. Please do. Lace. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Me. You were an exclusively picking songs from R&B. Isaac is turned on. Yeah. From R&B songs. That one's going to be in my big. His camera's not working. He's got two girls in his lap. I know. He didn't pick all the R&B fabrics

You've got a bunch of cherries It's like you're exclusively picking the box Isaac in That's right I don't have anything left to pick I'm leaving nothing for him Silfully satin in lace Wow

Yeah I don't know a ton about lace I gotta be honest I don't either Lace I was watching Storage Wars the other day It's still pretty valuable Is that right

That's a good show Storage Wars fucking rice I don't like parking wars But I like storage, yeah. Are there like, are the, are the, I don't want to say another pick if I can get it. Never mind. Yeah, lace, lace curtains. Are there, well, no.

Yeah, there's lace curtains. There's lace curtains. There's lace curtains. And, you know, and obviously we know how freaky you can get. So what is lace made out of? Ooh, that's a good question. Or like what's a great question. Hardened, uh, cubs.

That's right. That's right. Silkworms. Oh, that's real. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like it take a lot to make anything. Don't I know it.

Don't I know it, Sean? He sure does. Why you think it was my first pick? Most of my days. Built different. I actually have a silkworm at my house. Makes me an outfit every day. Get up at 3 a.m. every morning.

Laces, it's made out of threads. Linen. Shit. Cotton. Interesting. Okay. And then polyester lately? Wow.

lately, huh? But then it does its own thing. That sounds like, that sounds like Chimel and I have lace. What it sounds like to me. It's its own. It becomes its own. If you had lace, you'd know it.

Hey. It's a sexy voice. Lace. Also that, remember that, what you would call it? The fucking Lacey Chabre? Well, Lacey Shabre. Well, Lacey Shabar. First of all, obviously.

Gladiators. One of the gladiators was named Lace. Oh, there was one name Lace. You call it that blonde joint? Lay. The one blonde joint.

Yeah, there was Lace and diamond. Lacey. Lace is different. Like the guys were all named Battleax and stuff like that. Wasn't there like a Gemini? There's a documentary or Netflix.

It's a series, maybe a docu series. It's really good on the Gladiators. Nitro. Malibu. Malibu got hosed. They all had such bad injuries. What happened in Malibu? They all got like broken backs and shit and had to play through it.

I mean, it's nuts, what happened to them. And they were all, you know, juicing. It was a real W-HVF situation. Yeah. It was the game. Mm-hmm. On behalf of USA Network. Yeah.

I want they couldn't have been making a ton of money. I don't know. That was maybe the only show. They had a video game I bought. Yeah, but I bet they got like. Yeah, what was they deal like? That's probably not great. That was not a lot of NIL.

Not a lot of NIL money then. Though, like that and Duckman were the only shows on USA that I ever tuned in to watch. Duckman. What about, uh, A on Flux Stockings? Stockings. Yeah. Then we're on USA. I was on MTV.

A&Flux. That was Liquid Television. That was MTV. Okay. What was the other animated? No. I was on USA too, though. Wasn't there a sexual animated USA cartoon?

Might have been Duckman. Duckman was pretty horny. Yeah, Duckman was super horny. He was always landing in some tities and stuff. That's right. He was. No, yeah. I'll have to dig into it later.

It just seems like USA's got all those shows that bummed me out in the hotel. I'm like, oh man, it's like more depressing. Yeah. With USA on. I don't know. Like the shows that drag. You're a TNT guy. You're a T&T guy.

Big Spike TV guy. Sure. I didn't mind Spike TV. I mean, I didn't mind whatever. They had me clocked. I mean, they're putting, that's where you'd see the equalizer and stuff. Somebody's gonna feel like I associate watching USA

with Robo Cop 2 coming on. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Yeah, but they don't play movies anymore like that. USA doesn't play movies. It's always like a monk. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's not even a month.

No, monk is not always on. They don't have movies anymore. But like what, like, psych is like a, USA show. Sure. Stuff like that. Yeah. Royal Paines.

Peace to my guy, Dulah Hill. Tony Shaloolew. DeLah Hills, though. We love Dulee Hill. It's a big pro. Dulele Hill. Tony Shaloolew is

Shaloo. First off, Tony Shaloof, fully funded by USA Network. Yeah, used to show the wings rerun. Yeah, that's right.

And the reruns were hitting so hard they gave him his own show. Shalub sounds like something you might draft. Well, I got one more pick. It's the sexiest

average. Wings was hitting so hard that they were like, we got to give the Shalube guy his own. Absolutely. Yeah. I was watching wings. I'm in the hood. Wings was on like projects watching wings. They were given wings.

It's like 93. The back-to-back treatment. Uh-huh. Everybody was watching a row. Yeah. And Northern Exposure. Thomas Hayden Church. I never watched Northern Exposure.

Oh. You'd love Northern Exposure. You would love it. To this day, you would love it. That's true. We got a lot to watch after this. We do. And witness.

Jamel. Your fourth pick. Fourth pick. Hamp. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.

They denied hemp access. Can't. Had a very pivotal time in hemp's history. Yeah, that's right. But come on, man. Hemp was like an amazing Negro league's pitcher. Exactly. That's right.

That's a satchel page of textiles. They played them. They didn't record all of hemp stats. No. Would have dominated the league. Although now officially recognized. Officially recognized. Yeah.

Introduced baseball to Japan. That's right. Hemp did all that. That's right. Hemp did all that. Hemp. Sean Hemp. Sean Hemp.

Yeah. Yeah. He kind of turned into Sean Hemp. He sure did. Sean Hemp. Yeah. I've been to the spot. I've been to Sean Kemp's out there.

Did he call it Sean Hemp? No, it's just Sean Kemp's weed store anything. Did he do anything with Sean Hemp? He should have. Hopefully he gets there. Didn't he chase that? What was that story a couple of years ago about him like chasing somebody down with a gun? He may have attempted murder.

That was associated with his weed store? He may have attempted murder. Sure. I don't know. Maybe. I'm on his side. I'm on his side. Trailblazer great.

Come on. Trailblazer great. That's right. Give me hemp, bro. Yeah. Hems are, it's strong as bug. Hems are great.

I never had a, I never had a hemp necklace or anything. Did you ever have anything? No, no. Just smoking it, partner. Adidas came out with the Hemp's. I remember that was a big deal. They had like the hemp superstars.

God, I hope that's the breakout. Just that. Just that. I think the breakouts can be pretty you heavy this episode. Hemp fabric has a very like Pier 1 imports.

Oh yeah. Sort of like. Speaking of a motherfuck of world market. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like peer one rules. Pure one like it's like a baskets.

A hemp lamp shade. Yeah. Sort of thing. Uh, you can take it out to the woods. A rough fabric. A rough and ready fabric. That's right.

Yeah, you don't want, you don't want like a hemp blanket or anything. No. No. You wouldn't. Why you might. Well, people do like those weighted blankets. It looks like a heavy fabric. Yeah.

Yeah. Hemp. Yeah, you can't just smoke hemp, right? You got to do stuff to it to make it weed. You got to do stuff, yeah. You got to talk to it, right? You got to finesse it. You got to put some blue pants on it.

Then it'll be weed after like three, four days. Yeah, you're not getting weed on the first date. You're not. With my fourth pick, I'm going to flannel. Oh. Yeah. Damn, I was going to try to get it. flannel. You couldn't have flannel.

No, what are you getting, you're not going to turn into a ball of sledge? Wait until you see. Wait until you see what I end up with. Wait till you see what I end up with. You couldn't have flannel on that list. It's just no way. I'm taking leather. You come back and in the show with leather. You deserve leather, actually. If it comes to that, I wouldn't like it. Yeah, truly. Just based off your other four. Love flannel pajamas. I love a flannel pajamas. That light flannel is great.

A nice flannel shirt. Yep. Got some, where is that's cold? When it's cold. I like those light flannel shirts that like the light flannel pant material on a shirt, you know, like a flannel that's not a heavy flannel shirt. Sure. For sure. That's a fun one. You can wear kind of

get springy, you know? Because like those deep ones you can only wear in the winter it feels like. I've got a Columbia brand one of those at the Outlet Mall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that thin flannel shirt? Yeah. There's some good double RL. I've got my eye on. Okay. It's like red and black flannel. We'll see if the Blazers stay in Portland, I'm going to buy that movie.

Hat to match? And the hat to match. Cheese egg and Welch's grape. Okay. Yeah, those flannel pajama pants, they're just the right amount of thin for the holidays. Yeah. Wake up Christmas Day.

Oh. You say, let's try to interrupt. How big he was like really living that fat guy lifestyle. Cheese egg and Welch's grape. Yeah. I felt that as much as I felt anything else in any of his songs. Yeah. You know how good that, bro.

You can picture it. It's just like the scrambled eggs with the cheese cooked into it. Nice little glass. Glass. I even thought, in my, the double meaning, Welch's Grape jam on some toast as well. Oh. I think it was both things. I think you're right.

I think it was both things. I think you're right. I think you're absolutely. Yeah. I think that was like a poetic device. Is grape your favorite kind of like? Strawberry. Strawberry.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't mind a raspberry. I'm starting to get into higher jams, definitely. You got marmalava at the house. I got some lava jam at the crib. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? This man is engaged. Outside a jam? Exotic fruit jams. Outside of a jam, guava can take a hike. Hey, you know what, that's fair. Whoa.

Hey, hot take. I'm cool with that. Doesn't it go well in some tequila? Guava juice. Probably. Guava juice is good. Okay, they suck guava off crazy.

It's true. Too much. Pog juice, overrated. Overrated. Yeah, I said that. Overrated. Don't tell my fiancee I said that. 100%.

Please. 100%. Destination wedding in Hawaii. Hellapog juice. You could pour that much sugar into L.A. River water and it would sell like hotcakes. The amount of sugar they got in pot. Yeah, the sugar's doing the lift. The amount of sugar they got in pop.

It's not the guavas. I don't like, I don't like, I don't like this side of you. Oh. You know what you can get fucked is passion fruit. I'm not with you. I was saying the O is the only fruit in Pog that can stand on its own pee. It's like a weird. It's kind of like a shes.

It's like a tortoise shely type. You gotta open it up and then you're just like sucking on seeds. I don't like a dragon fruit either. Nope. Is that the one that looks like the end of a maze? Yes. I put a lot of time in in fruit, exotic fruits, different fruits. If I see a fruit that I haven't seen before at the grocery store, I will buy that fruit.

I will buy the berry variants. I will try all this stuff. Barians. And there's some really good barrients out there. There's some great berries. Those new blueberries that have come out in the last like two years that are bigger, the jumbos? No, I don't like that. Those are fucking, I love them.

Here's what I'll say. If a fruit is just now showing up, there's usually a reason. Let me say this. There's usually a reason. Other than a watermelon? Brian Winhorstown. Yeah. What's going on?

Melon. Go fuck itself. I don't even like watermelon. I can't. You don't even like watermelon. It dribbles, dude. I cannot handle that shit. It all dribbles.

No, it does. It's got juice. It's got a little. I don't like a dribbling on my chin. I put a whole strawberry in my chin. I put a whole strawberry in my chin. This is a fucking skill issue. No, it is not.

I know how to cut watermelon. You're coming after watermelon. I know how to do it. You're coming after watermelon. People eat watermelons like they're eating pine. It troubles down their chin. That's that. You can eat, I don't like melon.

You can be the guy out here. Honey, do whatever. Honey don't. Honey don't. I don't like melon either. I don't like it. Cantaloupe sucks. Oh, me with the prosciutto.

You don't do it with a prosciutto. It's good. It's good. It's a fucking phenomenal. He didn't put some prosude in a beach. Enough. I'm fighting war on this front that is frankly an absurd war. A peach rules.

I haven't even had time to deal with your bullshit. You don't like honey-dew or chaos. You got to point of me on your podcast? I'm pointing out. Oh no. Watch out. And I'm twinkling. You want a jazz hand?

You want a jazz hand? I'll do this, dude. I'll point of you with the fucking finger I'm pulling up by hand. I thought you were doing something inappropriate. Sounds like a good time to mention. I do have a monthly show in Los Angeles called Fresh produce. That is a great, that's a great plug. At fresh produce underscore LA for details.

Canelope and honeydew can both go wrong. This is true. Yeah. But when they're going right? I never had to go right. Can't love with a little salt like a real sweet one. Extra ripe. Throw a little salt on that meat.

Phenomenal. I'd rather salt a watermelon. I'm not going to argue with that. I'm not going to argue with that. You're against that? No, I'm not. I love that. He put a tanza.

He said I wouldn't argue with that. No, don't you dare nothing. That's what I put on the back of it. Don't you dare race the roof on me. Watermelon does nothing for me. You shut the fuck up. Doc.

Isaac, where are you out of watermelon? I love watermelon. Of course. He's a summer boy. You are a summer boy. I love melon. He's in the living top to bottom. You're going to tell him.

I go to Nigeria every summer. Well. I don't think that's true. You say no watermelon. No watermelon. I'm not a big plum guy either. I'm not against it. What do I want diarrhea all?

I love plums. I'll let Taco Bell do that. I'm not, if a plum is presented to me, I'm happy. I'm not seeking out a plum. You're not going to pick one? Here's my issue with plums, and then we can move on. Okay. And every stone fruit is that I got to be in the right place to eat it because now I've got a pit

to deal with. Yeah, and it's like, where are you going to spit it? My hands are going to be a little sticky. Is that litter, though? You can just throw a pit, right? Well, depends on where you're at. Yeah. Not on the floor at the mall.

Yeah. Somebody stopped me. I've done a lot on a mall floor. Flannel. Sean, your fourth and final picks? Canvas. Hey. Yeah.

That counts? Yeah. Tight. I'm going to have to look for my last pick. Speaking of some dickies. The other dicky material. You can't have art without it. We can, but not a lot of it.

Not the good kind. Not the canvas. Not the expensive kind. That's right. I wrap. I don't do it on wax. I wrap on canvas. Guess what Bosca I had?

Canvas. Canvas. Canvas is Loki a great pick. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. This is great. I love everything.

I didn't have a chance to draft it, but I didn't even think about paintings. Well, of course, what's Canvas doing in your world? Cleaning things up? Nah, there's because R&B involves some canvas. You might paint your girl. Yeah. You might do that. Wrestling mats are canvas?

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Canvas crazy. Canvas is a great dick. Canvas is a great talk about this. Rules. Non- disintegrating ammunition belts. Campus.

I don't want my ammunition belt to disintegration. That's the last thing you want. I mean, this is shit to stay around. That's about the last thing you want to have to happen. Vehicle seat covers? Really? Oh, yeah. Sure.

Swags? I don't know what that is. Oh, sleeping unit. Now, I'm going to try to stay on my list. So, like, I did look, but this is, if any of these count, I'd like to do it. Does nylon count? I think so. I think so, yes.

I think you're good to go. Yeah. I did it. I think nylon was on my board. Yeah. Tight. Can you now please read the definition of a textile? I mean, is it like, is it pretty much just woven?

We already did it? Yeah, yeah. It just has to be joints, yeah, fabrics woven, things you weave. Any material from natural synthetic fibers, yarns, or threads. Okay. So yeah, I had paper on there. Wow. Okay. Now, I don't know that. I mean, I appreciate you sharing. I don't know. I appreciate you sharing. I had paper and plastic on there. I also don't know that it's not. Yeah, I wasn't sure. I don't think it is.

Speaking of Adidas is weaving plastic. They got a lot of recycled jerseys. Yeah. I don't know that flying that fly net, uh, I have a pair. The fly net Janoski's, it's like water bottles. Sure. Yeah. Anyway. Cool. Uh, yeah. Nylon. Nylon. Swish pants. Choped at those. Nylon sweatsuit. My favorite outfit in high school, I had a yellow alpha-numeric t-shirt and these gigantic fieless wushy pants. I mean, gigantic.

I'd love to see pictures of me and them. And then whatever musk as I had, like whatever gigantic shoes, but just alternate genie energy. This is nylon, yeah? Got to be. Got to be. Free quay. If not polyester.

Free to have men. Basketball nets. Nylon. Nylon. Nylon. Look at me. You're going to You guys.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Metal. Sometimes chain. Oftentimes. Yeah. Some places should be. Yeah. Some places should be.

Man, I remember COVID they put, they chained up the rims in Port, like, did they do it here too? Yes. But like they would have a lot of chains together. It was crazy. Ultimately stupid. We didn't know, though. As if basketball and spaghetti is going to make you sick.

Right. Where am I supposed to promote education reform? If not, if not group economic. That's right. And not. Man, I was at Highland Park wreck I almost fucked up the Nets. You know how it is when you hit a shot so good.

The net, like, the net got caught on the back of the, the metal, the holding apparatus of the rim. And it was like, I was like, oh, this is how Nets get fucked up. I'm like, that's so tight. When a lethal shooter comes out.

Yeah. Wait, okay. He hates lethal shooter. We can move on. I do hate the little shooter. I got to let my man live. Let me ask. Let me ask. Let's shooters an amazing basketball player, right?

Nope. He played, bro. He played pro overseas. He had a little run. In a very low league. What's not to like about him? Damn. You don't sound like a velour silk daddy right now.

When he was doing the like, he, because he was doing a lot of antics. There was a point in the lethal shooter history where it was like, he's shooting a ball underwater. I also forgot to this is not paywall. This is out in the open. Are you comfortable with your lethal shooter take? Yeah. Okay, great. I don't like lethal shooter.

All right. I love him. All right. I love him. And listen, now he's just doing like the, uh, he's just doing bits. Which is tough. I've heard. Now he's like,

me and Julia White are shooting into a volcano. Yeah. And he's like making fun of Julio White. He's like, what's up, Erkel? You ain't about to make this next one, Erkel. Yeah. I'm shooting off this military truck. I'm like, that's my tax dollars.

Yeah, that's right. You haven't paid a tax dollars since. They let him, they let him shoot on that tank. You don't know that. They let him shoot on that tank. They should do. Also, I've heard nothing easy to work with. I mean, I could maybe come on.

He's the lethal shooter. He's got to be quite demanding. The guy can't miss a shot. Sure for Christopher. That's a good classic. That's a classic name. Sure. I'm not saying it's a bad name.

Chris is one of the classic names. What if Christ was a guy? I'm saying his name isn't lethal shooter. His name is Chris Matthews. Oh, like the news guy. Wow. He's not even my favorite Chris Matthews. I'm taking Terry Cloth with my last bit.

Oh, Terry Cloth. Terry Cloth. Terry Cloth. Terry Cloth also a great shooter. Terry Cloth. Yeah. A. B.

I have plenty of practice. fabrics, terry cloth. Is that what a robe is made out of? Yeah. Yes. I had a big Terry cloth polo. A big, big, big, big Terry cloth polo.

Famous camera online. Oh. You're Terry cloth. That mean you're very soft. Yeah, that's right. He was just saying anything back then. You're going wrong, Terry. Drinking Zon of Suzuki in Osaka Bay?

Beautiful. Where else would you do that? Where else would you do it? Terry cloth, man. Whoa. Terrycloth has been around since. 4,000 BCE. Is that right?

Excuse me? 4,000. They had Terrycloth rolls in negative 4,000. Why are we throwing the E on BC? Common Era. It's the historical. BCE, we say.

I don't like that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Oh, look at that. Terry cloth. Hell yeah, dude. Good towel. Great towel. Yeah.

Jamel, your final pick. I got a Terrycloth polo I never wore. Like a gray like polo brand polo. It's all Terry. It's Barry Beach, though. Berry Beach. Get it on eBay at Fat Raleigh. We love on the East Side.

Okay, last pick. Give me horse hair. Horse hair. Like the shoes. Horse hair. What? Yeah. Yeah.

That's all? Yeah. And now, listen, horse hair is made it across the millenniums. Shout out to all my ladies on the block with some extensions in. You might have a little lace front. Combining. Don't even talk to me with all the horses losing their hair around here. I'm pro weave.

Oh, absolutely. I'm pro weave. I love a weave. I love a weave. getting, um, I love a weave. Love a freaking weave. Yeah. All these guys trying to like shame a lady for a weave.

No, weave it up. Weave it. Weave it. We don't. Are guys shaming weaves? That's ridiculous. You know, that's like a classic, like dudes would be like, hey, that's not your real face. Oh, she's faking it.

That's not your real. That's like a Chris Rock, you know what? Yeah. It's not my real bank account. Exactly. I don't have any money. I have held together with fishing lines. I'm wearing.

I have lifts in my shoes. Yeah. I'm wearing lifts. I got hell up. By the way, if you want, hit Chamel up about some XL male spanks, if you want to, and then I'll just slide those to you. I have a lot of male spanks. And then you slide those to me.

I got the money right here, spank them on down. They bought me like too many spanks. I only needed one spank shirt, and they got like a lot of spank shirts for me. And they sent them home with me. I can't turn free stuff down. I am going to end up flipping the spank shirt. We should flip the spank. We'll have.

We'll have. We'll go. We'll go. We'll go. Right now. he's going to take them off your hands I just need the one thing but I will only buy them from Jamel

that's all right you want a reputable dealer yeah exactly I have the reputation you said it it's hard to turn down I got a good score on discogs it's hard to turn down like every time I'm at like we walk by there's like a radio

station booth with t-shirts I'm like I could use one of those like I have to stop myself from getting anything that's free I have here the towel that was given out in Portland rather than a t-shirt by one Tom Dundon on you? This could become an artifact.

Neatly folded. Let's hope it's... I don't think it will. I think we're going to say that. I got a bunch of towels from game three of the finals, which I thought, oh, this could be cool and then Donald Trump went to the thing.

Oh, that's kind of cooler. I got a lot of them. Now it's like a historical document. I stole a lot of them. What does this know? This is a Knard-Lépejean lasers. I went to Le Pijon

last time I was in Portland. That's a great meal Great meal Horse hair A structural fabric It's got freaky options You can get freaky with it The stringed instruments with it

Exactly Make a bow out of that bitch Throw a fucking You got to talk to that guy about Pig tails Like a bow A lot of uses I need all of my shit

To have multiple uses Yeah you have multiple You have a very practical You have the least practical What are you to have a full list yet? My roster's positionless Yeah, it's wide roster's all position It's very position

But in every position Commusutra What is the final What is the final text? Let's hear it Now hear me out on this I think it fits with my whole motif Okay

Corderoy There is nothing better Than feeling some corduroy pants Sure, corduroy pants Also very R&B You might have one of them jackets, throw some boots with it. Shep in above the rim, hooped in some corderoys.

Corderoys, yes. He did have cords. You could also call him cords. God, he did at the end where you're like, James Cordons? Yeah. James Corden. That's the first thing you said since he picked corduroy.

I'm going to say something of you that doesn't make me feel good to say. Oh, shit. You blew it. What are you talking about? Cornroy doesn't fit in the rest of this. He's saying he had the last R&B fabric. You missed it? No, no.

You didn't. No. That is not an R&B fabric. There is one R&B fabric left, and I'm going to take you. I'm taking velvet. He's trying to do your favor. Velvet. He didn't even let him finish.

He was on the board. You could have had velvet. I got velour. I don't need velvet. That's fair. That is fair. A little curveball just sort of a change. Corderoy.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have traded Jalen Brown. I'm saying you shouldn't have traded Jalen Brown for what you got. I got a silk shirt on with corduroys. You don't want to feel me? What about latex? Touch him up and down. Touch me up and down. I'm just saying that's not.

Latex is not. Latex Absolutely not. That is not my vibe. Latex would have fit in better than corduroy. I don't wear latex. Oh, you don't, that's not going in this. That's not in the equation.

Silk, velour, satin, lace, corduro. Corderoi. Someone's wearing corduroy pants. Someone you're involved with, right? Well, someone's got to talk to the cops. He's saying it's nonstop touching. And you, and you touch their leg. It's a procissorial fabric.

I don't appreciate that word Professor's horny as shit by the way Professor's been striking oh absolutely The genre As you put it that way

It's kind of a horny Now it's kind of horny It just does not Double elbow sleeve ass I was worried it wasn't gonna make it to me Oh sure I love feeling corduroy That's fine

That's fine He's got a particular thing That's fine But it does not fit in with the rest of it The hell it doesn't Does not fit in with 855 NBA jump You think Corderoi

Fits in with my... Give me up in 917 to bounce. See him at the shark bar later. That's right. That's right. That's right down. And you'll see. Jaws up, baby.

You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. I did. Yeah. I would escons myself in velvet. Is that velvet? Yeah.

Or is it velour? No, that's it. To recap. Left rayon on the board. Sean, you went denim, cashmere, wool, canvas, and nylon. Those are good. I went linen, polyester,

Gortex flannel, and Terrycloth. Fine. Fun. You went cotton, chino, gauze, hemp, and horsehair. Practical. Get at me. Harper, you went silk velourer, satin, lace, and corduroy. Yeah.

You heard him. I heard him. What else is out there? Rayon, as he said. Yeah. Kevlar? Tweed. Yard.

Yeah. Kevlar. Yeah. Bevugged. Twill. Twill. Oh, it's will. Sure.

Oh, twill, yeah. Spandex. Tweed as well, as you said. Burlap. Burlap. There's like 80 different variations of lace as well. There's a lot, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of lace.

There's just a lot of tuxer lace. There's one called pusher lace. Mohair. Yeah. Jinks. Mohair. Yeah, Moher. Muslin.

Oh, muslin. Come on, man. You got to convert to that. Come on my muslin. Thumb my wife. Yeah, I mean, Lebron just moved to Philly. Osalom latex. Oh, wait, latex isn't one.

There you go. Isaacs. Yarn. Twill. Oh, yeah. So, okay. Velvet and velveteen. Is yarn its own thing?

It's not, I thought yarn was like. It's like a, like, yeah, but you can make it like. What is yarn? It would have been crazy to take velveteen and not velvet. Because you get a wool sweater out of yarn, right? I say, no, my. I think so. I'm not sure.

Yeah, we're still working on over here. Wait, this sheep. I shear a sheep. That's a barn. What about duck? I think duck is Duck is one Duk is a

Crape It is kind of crazy that leather's not What is crash Well, leather's just straight up It's always in the piece That you

Yeah Duck is a good fabric What about pleather Because that's not real leather That's a great question I had it on my list And maybe it Or like

What's that synthetic But Gortex is synthetic Yeah So But it's woven Apparently Gortex doesn't look like It's woven

But it says it's woven Hyperwoven It's super wokenly. It feels like an illegitimate pick. Huh? Feels like an illegitimate pick? You're spinning out because I sure am. And you know.

No, I'm happy. You know, no. You wouldn't be coming at me. No. You wouldn't be coming at me. Go feel some corduroy pants. I know what corduroy feels like. I don't think you do.

You think I don't know what corduroy feels like? You wear corduroy pants? You're not going anywhere the rest of the day. I'm wearing corduroy right now. Exactly. Just because you can't see it. Underwear? Doesn't mean I'm not.

wearing it. Corridor underwear underwear is... It's a super wide whale. It's a super wide whale. That's the size of those little bumps on corduroy's. The whale. Oh, the... Wally.

Like Waleigh. Shout out to the DMB. Say you got a lot of whips. Well, I got a lot. Car lot. That's right. We want to hear your picks. Let me stuff at All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.

It's Wal-A lyric. I wasn't making it up. I ended on as low energy as possible. If you were making it up, doing great. Thank you. I'm a rap. I mean, I just got peeled off. He's a rap. That's right. He's a rap. Six years later. All Fantasy Podcasts at gmail.com. Shut to everyone. The AFE subreddit where there are so many, so many

bells and whistles. Live episodes, auction drafts. This or that episodes? Mailbags. We watch Belly. Yeah. Belly watch alone. Yeah. Did I say the Patreon? Subreddit, you said. Oh. I thought you were going to go. No. That's where I thought you were. Yeah. Anyway, the Patreon. Yes, the Patriot. I shouldn't be shouting out the subreddit.

That's it. Shout to I Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Tight cross over there. The camera's back on. Now it just turned off as I just said that. Oh, my gosh. Shout out to, I would say, 95% of the people on our subreddit. Yeah.

And that other 5%? Relax. Those are my accounts. Those are my accounts. Relax. Relax. Got to stop. You got to stop that.

Shout out to say. San Su, Carmel, recovering from knee surgery right now. She's getting it. She's getting from knee surgery right now. She wants a leg sleeve. She can have one of my leg sleeves. Well, she's in Portland already. Let's go.

Cut her a deal. Like to the basket. She can have that. That's okay. Shout out to back to the basket. They're just don't do soccer stuff. No baseball. No soccer.

What do you want back to the goal? You like that stuff? Yeah. You want to start a separate LLC called back to the goal? Yeah. Unique paperwork. Sorry to diversify your portfolio back to the basket. The portfolio is.

The portfolio is. diversified. You're making them start a new portfolio. That's right. Okay. Shout to portfolios. That's right. Portfolios. And more important than all that. Tune again next week to another. Oh, wait. Shout to Frankie O'clock. You know what to sit the dude. Shot to Hajjibati beats.

Isaac's just now putting on a watch. Isaac's been adding his outfit. Slowly but surely. It's the textile episode. It's going to look like a pharaoh by the time we're done. Dude to get next week to another. That really threw me up. Brand new episode of all fantasy everything.

So clackety. Ooh. There we go. That was a hate gum podcast. What's up everybody? I'm Kyle Mooney. And what's up everybody? I'm Beck Bay.

And man, ooh, we got something to tell you. Yeah, we definitely do. Yes, it's a brand new podcast on HeadGum. That's right. And it's called What's Our Podcast? Yep. And that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast you'd be about. Yeah, we don't.

So we actually have. have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about and then we try it. Yep. Guests like Mark Maren, Jack Black, Brittany Brosky, Caperlant, Bobby Moynihan, Meg Stalter, and Tim Balls, Landon Axler, Jory, Joni McGrath. And Dender. And Dender.

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