All Fantasy Everything - Thanksgiving Food (w/ David Gborie & Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: November 26, 2020Gobble Gobble, y'all. The Good Vibes Gang drafts their favorite Thanksgiving dishes. Happy Thanksgiving!SPONSORS:DoorDash: Get 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order, when you dow...nload the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter code ALLFANTASY.Darn Tough: Head to darntough.com/allfantasy and get free shipping when you buy 2 pairs.TRICO: Go to wipers123.com and use promo code ALLFANTASY at checkout for $10 off your next order or $40 or more.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/allfantasy.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comAdvertise on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything
from the world of pop culture,
from tattoos to technology and everything in between.
On this episode, we're going to be drafting Thanksgiving food,
because for God's sake, it's Thanksgiving.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, are Sean Jordan and David Borey.
Let's get to it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that is cozying up with an open beer next to a roaring fire,
watching, I guess, Detroit or Dallas probably get beat on the old gridiron,
where Sean Jordan was once a junior varsity player. You're goddamn right.
I was,
or was he?
Listen,
we don't,
we're not doing conspiracy theories.
Are we going to, we got to get your mail back and do that.
So it's on wax because he thinks we didn't land on the moon.
Neither here nor there.
I thought you said theories,
not facts.
That's what I heard.
The fact is that jet fuel does not melt steel.
Now that's a fact.
I'm just saying.
Now,
is it a fact that
you were on jv or not we've got some we have to keep the people updated there's some there's now
some some uh anyone who knows me uh tell me if i played football when i was itself when i was a
sophomore i swear i did i swear i did but anyone who no went to school with me if you have any proof either way adam i'm looking at you you know uh let
me know you know because i i think i did and you as i've been told if i if i did play when i was a
sophomore i was jv it was jv yeah yeah so it was john barbados that's what i played you had a
leather shirt you were wearing a leather shirt and some of those fucked up jeans, dude.
I never have had a leather shirt, and it seems like I would have.
No, it doesn't.
That's insane.
It seems like I went through a period where I would have had a leather-
What do you think we think you're doing?
Like a Peter Guns.
What do you think you are?
Or a Lord Tariq.
Oh, like a big leather shirt.
Yeah, not like a leather t-shirt.
That's still
insane you don't think they have a garment district where they get those things custom made
where were you gonna well they don't sell that wilson's no i was gonna get at your mom's house
bro keep talking i will fucking kill you with my fedex pen you can't you're not in a place to be
saying i'm surprised i haven't had a leather. That's not even a declaration you can make about yourself.
That's like, I'm surprised I haven't been written in for...
You can't just say that about me.
Why are we going in on me so hard?
Because you're the one who said, I'm surprised I haven't had a leather shirt.
If David said that...
Now I'm surprised that my friends are showing me...
It'd be a little less hot in the kitchen if I said it.
That'd be absurd.
I'm surprised you haven't had a leather vest can we okay we split
the difference i've had a leather that giant notre dame jacket that my dad took back i did
have that that's different than like a straight up yeah leather t-shirt i was yeah it was bold
to say that i've been driving all day that's true you just got back yeah 15 minutes ago it's funny because like
you're really not doing anything you're just sitting down i was just sitting there all day
i can't go in anywhere i didn't do shit i just sat it's like i sat on the couch all day you know
it's not a big deal not to bring it back what happens to your nipples in a leather shirt i
think they change they must change you got to get pasties oh my god really i
think so you got to get yeah you got to cut them off like the unsullied that's what i chose to do
what i'd worry about then is that depending on how tight my leather shirt is what if the pasties
stick out through then i look insane i think you get some lay flat pasties that look like wolf eyes
so then when you take it off it's just the beginning of the story okay i like that yeah i
like that because i'm stripping right in this scenario yeah if this is what it's become of me
if i'm reduced to wearing leather shirts with nipple not reduced i'm shout out to anybody else yeah lateraled definitely
yeah i think that i scratch enough weird hard to reach itches that i could be a big money stripper
i do think that i think you could definitely do that i think it's 80 charisma yeah and that's just the dj at banana grams where i strip speaking of banana grams
sean jordan ice water over here dude sean jordan dude he was in los angeles over the weekend
sean jordan beat my girlfriend what three times i don't know however many times we played
i think it was three anagrams and she's smart she's she went to brown she's a she's a brainy individual but it was her very
first time so yeah i play that i play banana grams like way more than you think i do so i think you
play a lot that's now that's a statement you can make exactly exactly more than you think i do yes i'm surprised i haven't had a leather shirt no
no exactly exactly that's all i'm saying that's all i'm saying okay all right like i would
definitely i know you i love you i would think that you play banana grams monthly i would i was
gonna ask you how much do you think i play and it's probably like
one session a month and that session's probably four times well yeah i believe that then he beat
me at trivial pursuit that's bullshit and then he was he was three sheets to the wind and took me
down a trivial pursuit what i mean we'd been playing for a while and we were trying though
we're we're trying and i hadn't had a sip of alcohol but i did have a sandwich that day for
the first time in a long time so that's true that'll get you you're all you're all breaded up
i had bread blood yeah that happens i ate like a king and then i barfed like i barfed like a
jester but i did i had i had some good eating over the weekend barf king's barf too, madam.
King's barf too.
It sounds like something to make a potion,
like a dash of King's barf.
A dash of King's barf. A snippet of leather shirt.
A dash of King's barf.
What is that potion going gonna do to you now that man who both barfed and and uh
and and reigned victorious at several different board games of sean jordan sean s jordan on
twitter sean cougar melon jordan on instagram what's up bro how you doing man i'm good i'm good
i was uh it was a an awesome weekend i was stoked and put everyone's mind at ease um gosh i don't think i
could have been safer so yeah you were very safe yeah so i just don't want to we were gonna we were
gonna record some live episodes all of us in the same place but then we decided to be overly
cautious i decided to be overly cautious it was i am very paranoid regarding health these days
well i am too
i mean yeah dude so it was the move i just was bummed i didn't get to actually lay eyes on
tay biggs but other than that i'm all good i got something you can lay eyes on that you do
is it swinging you dirty little fucker no it's this forest green sweatsuit i think it's pretty
cool if you want to see the other thing you got to to go to Bananagrams on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and now Sundays from 8 to noon.
Amen.
Shout out to Chartreuse.
What was the DJ's name?
DJ.
Shit.
What was it?
Shit.
It was a stripper named Chastity Charisma.
Yeah, Charisma.
Yeah, DJ Charisma on the ones and twos.
Now, I know there's some listeners at home, when you said 80% Charisma,
were upset that we didn't go immediately into that Linkin Park lyric.
20% pure, concentrated.
Fort Minor.
The Fort Minor.
Not Linkin Park?
The voice of God came down and rained upon you.
With authority.
Is that like a Chris Gaines, Garth Brooks situation?
I think so.
Okay, that's what I thought it was.
Fort Minor is your boy Mike Shinoda is Fort Minor. chris gaines garth brooks situation i think so okay that's what i thought fort minor is mike
your boy mike shinoda is fort minor and the dude was also he was in lincoln park but the blonde
dude who was passed on was not correct chester bennington chester bennington i'm a big fan
lincoln park so i just wanted to set it clear that it's not lincoln park it's for mine oh
interesting is lincoln park and beat saber uh yes it is hell yeah i think there's like 12 songs uh
yeah great music pack on beat saber i was very happy when that news hit marissa will you ever
are you i mean i guess you upload the beat saber stuff all the time are you ever gonna go
like out into the forest and videotape yourself with like a broom handle and then upload that
because i think the people are ready i've considered it i mean i was practicing that
in your backyard this weekend marissa was nice with a broomstick
Just whipping it around
I might have tried it
Have you tried a saber saber?
Like a sword?
No, no not yet
I have to get my hands on one
That's what I'm
Because you might be good at it right?
We gotta give Marissa a sword
Quick
Alright
Please
I would love a sword
Alright
We'll get you a sword
Oh yeah
That's happening
Folded Japanese steel Yeah Is that the best kind? I just saw it kill Bill recently Probably love a sword all right we'll get you a sword oh yeah that's happening folded japanese steel yeah
is that the best kind i just saw kill bill recently probably those you know what i was
like down on kill bill the first time i would not down i liked it and then like afterwards i was
like it's not that great and then i went back and watched again those are good movies yeah they're
pretty fun those are pretty fun you got to be in the mood.
For me, they're a little tiring.
But if I'm in the mood, then I'm thrilled about it.
I don't know.
It's just a little like I'd be upset with someone if they spoke to me like that if we were getting coffee or something.
They're just too much.
They're just like Tarantino movies, man.
How do you feel about Pulp Fiction? Not that way? The same way, but lesser. like they're just like tarantino movies man they're they're so about pulp fiction
the same the same way but lesser like but i do feel that way about pulp fiction kind of where
i'm like stop it like dawson's creek or gilmore girls or something what is this do you understand
all tarantino movies are like that boxes that you're making like dawson's creek or pulp fiction
i don't know what the fuck you're talking
but i drank the whole drive from san francisco i don't know what you mean you know there's a
whippet station you can stop at i didn't know that either but i got a bunch of whippets
you know what i'm saying i'm i'm saying it because i don't know what you're on a comedy
dialogue you mean you mean like unnatural human dialogue but yes yeah what do you call it unnatural human dialogue yeah i've never seen dawson's creek
you know that about me yes unnatural human dialogue people don't talk like that and kill
bill is and i like it don't give i'm not hating on it but a lot of like then we'd be square you're
like nobody does that it's not how you find that tiring sometimes okay sometimes but i
love the movies but if i'm not in the mood i'm not in the mood okay can you explain the dawson's
creek maybe we're getting i'm getting i'm getting i haven't seen dawson's creek either so it's all
yeah it's all my name's saul and this is between y'all you know what i mean yeah i think it's just
between uh me me and me and what's between my ears i think is what seems dawson's creek on this
my name is ron and this is pretty much just sean
now that guy who hasn't seen dawson's creek other than me is david borey
cool guy joke 77 on instagram the gsi on twitter how are you doing buddy you know man i'm living
we're out here onward and upward forever and ever babe
hell yeah i recently got uh the meteor man on dvd paid way too much money for it so uh
you know that's cool but that set you back like 40 dollars right like 30 bucks yeah not worth it
honestly when i watched you have a dvd apparatus i have a playstation 4 and then there he is james earl
jones though in this movie wearing a bunch of wigs and that's delightful i'm surprised nobody
snatched up meteor man on a streaming service that's what i am surprised about too like
hollywood shuffle and i'm gonna get you sucker on streaming no meteor man you would think they
would just go do it.
Just go.
Somebody could go.
It can't be that hard to do.
Dog, you cannot find it anywhere.
I had to pay for it.
It also, which is weird, I haven't watched yet.
It also includes the hit Denzel Washington movie, Carbon Copy,
which I don't even know what it's about.
Yo, that is some $5 bin at Walmart shit. I don't even know what it's about yo that is some five dollar bin at walmart
shit i don't even remember that movie me in between glory and the pen the like the pelican
brief he had time i'm talking early i think this is like a young denzel young crazy like back when
he was going by denny's is that real no i made that okay denny's deny's washington sounds like something you'd get at danny's
wouldn't that be crazy can we get the danny's washington just a couple movies he made in the
late 70s danny's the fuck is danny's washington like when like when laurence fishburne was a kid
he went by larry yeah larry fishne. That sounds like a boxer's name.
He looked like he was just like a...
Anyways, the point is, I'm good, man.
Hell yeah.
Stop trying to hit me and hit me.
Is that your Lawrence Fishburne impression?
Lawrence Fishburne over here.
That wasn't Lawrence Fishburne.
That was me.
I guess that was Larry Fishburne.
That was Larry.
That was Liam Fishburne.
I don't have enough bass in my voice.
Stop trying to hit me and hit me.
No.
That just sounds like an upset older guy.
I don't know if you can do a Larry Fishburne impression.
And I don't mean you.
I don't know that one could do a Larry Fishburne impression.
It's too much rum.
I don't know.
He's an interesting looking dude.
I saw him at Med Men one time.
Whoa.
I tell you, I saw Forrest whitaker in the best by parking
lot once right oh yeah yeah you find some tvs just looking at stuff yeah man had i known the
pandemic was coming i would have treasured that moment but i assumed i'd be seeing forrest
whitaker all over the place i you live the type of life to where it would not be surprising for
you to pop up in a room
with forest whitaker at some point where i'd have to do the here we are again you know that i point
at him point at me point at him and then he that's what it's gonna be yeah oh look at us forest yeah
well i the person who hopes to be seen for his whitaker all the time is me ian carmel at ian
carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish uh
call map which yeah i've been doing a lot of meditating i tweeted about it today
i fucking love meditating so much i do it three times a day it's nice to quiet your brain man
oh my god it's so it's it's so nice this is not an advertisement but i have been using the com app unless we get sponsored by one of the other ones and then that's the one i've been using
and i'll say them now so we could just sort of splice them in headspace calm
uh are there any other ones those are the only two i know yeah headspace jewish headspace
jewish calm there we go all right we're good every other edit
yeah i just been digging it man i like i can't recommend it enough and people are like when do
you know it's working you never know it's working until afterwards and you're just general demeanor
your mind calms down a little bit but you're never going to be like ah now i'm meditating
you know it's just yeah you don't like transcend float or anything. It's just you just feel calmer.
I mean, you don't.
You don't, dude.
I float.
I don't do a lot of things.
JV, read, television.
A lot of stuff I don't do.
Is there a bat loose in your room?
What are you looking at, dude?
Are you okay?
What's happening?
Hold on.
He might be getting hollered at the cats well the cats
sound like a person like it's not but they sound like there was a person right above me and no one's
home so whoa i gotta make sure that's you got ghosts in the house are you scared is that is
there somebody here i am. Are you safe?
There's not supposed to be anybody here until I need to go get one of those COVID tests.
And then we need to know the post is clear and then she comes home.
So dogs off the leash for a couple more days.
I do, but they're all the way upstairs.
So the burglar would be in the middle.
If you get a rapid test, they'll put it in your butt.
Don't let them fool you, make you think any different.
I'll come over there and give you a rapid test.
Damn.
I'll give you the old Cedar Rapids test.
You want that? You get one of those rapid
tests, you better wash your ass. I'll tell you that
right now.
Oh, thank God.
The original King of Comedy.
I have nothing to promote. Listen to All Fantasy
Everything. Watch the Late Late Show with James
Corden where I am an air sat Andy Richter.
What else is going on?
Nothing.
I hope everyone's having a happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you,
which brings us to our topic.
We are not gathered here today
to have Sean Jordan tell us to wash your ass.
Oh, he did it again.
Damn, dude.
I didn't think he had two in him.
But to draft our favorite Thanksgiving foods.
Now, David pointed out four minutes before we started recording, although it was more
recent than neither Sean, Marissa, or I got it.
How about this, Lawrence Fishburne?
Stop trying to hit me and wash your ass.
That's a different thing you're trying to unplug from.
You need to meditate, dude.
You need to get...
You got...
You need to calm down.
I do need to calm down.
We are getting into Thanksgiving food.
As David pointed out,
we have drafted holiday food
with our good friend, Chris Garcia,
who's just a wonderful man,
who I really like.
Good guy.
But this is
this is specifically thanksgiving food now when we drafted holiday food if i remember right that
was christmas that was hanukkah that was kwanzaa because sean drafted uh what did i draft i can't
even think of a funny kwanzaa treat something traditional i can't think of a kwanzaa tree
mofongo nope that's puerto r? Nope, that's Puerto Rican.
But delicious.
That's another stripper at Bananagrams.
Oh, no.
I'm at Mofongo's on every first and third Saturday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same act, same act.
So if you didn't like it at Bananagrams, don't come downtown.
Don't you do Dick Jang at Mof where you do Jenga with your dick?
Well, no, actually, it's Dick Jenga.
I play Jenga.
Me and the fellas,
we have a spirited game of Jenga down bottom.
You just have to stand there
and get a boner to push it out?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's really however you want to do it.
There's no rules to Dick Jenga.
No, you can helicopter it if you want. You gonna lose but yeah you could could you imagine people paying to see that
yeah me hard-earned american dollars i'd pay to see that oh it'd be hard you're just girlfriend
telling you yeah i went to my cousin's bachelorette party and dick jenga we went to see Dick Jenga, and I don't really know how I feel about it.
Go Congo.
I don't know if I'd call it sexy.
No, it was sexual.
It was fairly athletic.
Yeah.
I know I've talked about this.
I've seen a couple male reviews.
Why did you call it that?
That's what they're called.
That's what they call them, male reviews, isn't it? is called first class male you get it the other one was thunder from down
under oh that's the australian one oh yeah it was drake i heard they moved tickets they sure
didn't sue falls as many tickets as they could have in new it's with a z shit it's hilarious
dude they hang brain right they hang a lot of brain be in prison. Guys would be in prison if they did.
If guys operated the way that I saw people operate it at a mail review, you'd go to jail.
You just can't do it.
It's just different worlds.
So very funny to see.
This explains the leather shirt thing.
Did you think you could be out here doing what mail strippers do?
No.
No, David, I didn't.
It feels like you did.
I didn't, David.
I feel like if you got a leather shirt, you could have been in one of those.
No, no.
That's a different life.
There's a lot of moves I'd have to make, and I'd have to have started like 15 years ago on those moves.
Two roads diverging a wood.
Man, what was the day do you think that you chose the path to be a stand-up comedian and not an all-male review man i don't think i chose i think it chose me
i really don't even know what sex was yet i feel like i was seven when male review just flicked off
flinted off my statue of possibilities as as life was carving
away all the marble that wasn't ian i think i was seven when male stripper got chipped off of that
block of marble that is a funny way to think about it what age do you think you were when you like
weren't going to be a teacher anymore when you weren't going to be all of that and male male
stripper is in there for everybody yeah it is at a point where you're like,
all right, it's not going to happen.
There's at some point that it was a possibility
until it wasn't.
There was an hour.
There was a minute of that day.
Yeah.
It was like, yeah.
I think it involved the second pizza lunchable
of that afternoon.
That's what it was like.
God was just like, all right, well blew it kid i think it was the first time i tried a
caramel apple he's like this isn't these this is a lifelong love affair this isn't going out i think
for me it's when i tried and failed to have sex on a waterbed and then we're just like nope no that
that's that would be that, I think that was never,
that was the point where you were the most likely to become a male stripper.
If you try and succeed, I feel like the failure was the part of it.
Oh, the failure.
Okay, okay.
The attempt, I'm sure God was looking down like, maybe, maybe.
And then I failed and he was like, all right.
Or she was like, all right.
Nice, dude. I still talk about about dishwalla just because of that they were the first people to
call god a girl good on them an hour you were both as close and as far as you had ever been
from being a male stripper i love that yeah that's a that's a crazy afternoon yeah now we are not here
to talk about that crazy afternoon we are here to fantasy draft thanksgiving foods and the way we
determine the order of that draft is with a rollicky game of rock, paper, scissors.
Play between the two of you.
And we throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, tie.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Tie.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, Sean wins.
Damn.
I'm doing the pie face to you dude i'm smashing your shit
smashing your girl get out of here i don't like that get out of here that one bit yeah
get out of here i can mush you right into the sidelines
damn dude yeah i'm on jv today and then i pie face you to the sidelines
that's the funniest thing to declare dude i was gonna be on the sidelines. That's the funniest thing to declare. You were just like, I'm varsity, dude. I was going to be on the sidelines anyways.
I'd lettered.
He's a freshman.
Now, Sean, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors,
it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft,
but before you do, I will remind you,
it is a serpentine draft.
And what does that mean?
That's a great question.
Say you're playing Trivial Pursuit.
You're pretty drunk.
You go from one side of the board.
You get a question.
You get a pie piece.
That's how you play Trivial Pursuit.
You have to get six pie pieces.
And then I honestly can't remember the rest of the game.
You have to go to them anyway.
This is a game you won?
You get your pie piece. I had been you won? You get your pie piece.
Wow.
I had been indulging.
Yeah, you get your pie piece.
And then you roll the die a couple times.
Then you go back over to the other side of the board.
Get your pie piece over there.
That's right.
Roll the dice a few times.
Kind of go back to the left a little farther around.
You got to get the purple pie piece.
And then you get it.
You get the question right.
Meanwhile, your opponent, blowing it every which way you could blow it and then you roll the roll the dice again you come
back get the orange wedge which i believe is entertainment wasn't that hard for you half
time of a soccer match should have been easier for ian since he is in entertainment but that's
neither here nor there and then you uh you keep rolling the dice go back to the left and then you
know get the yellow wedge and then just kind of tell you when pretty much
basically what it means is you pick third in the first round.
You pick first in the second round.
Uh,
now Sean,
with that in mind,
what will the order of today's all fantasy,
everything draft be myself?
Ooh,
David Ian.
Okay.
Hot corner.
I'll take it.
All right.
So that order for those of you keeping track of home is Sean,
David Ian,
Sean,
you have the first pick and the Thanksgiving Food All Fantasy Everything draft,
and we will get to that pick right after this short break.
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Yeah, we're back.
Welcome back to all fantasy.
Everything.
The only podcast on any side of any river.
This is it.
We're in the world.
It's the only podcast.
You're listening to it.
World.
Uh-huh. He's right. We we invented podcasts you motherfuckers boom take that oprah's secret soul sundays that's exactly right
i don't know any other podcasts i don't know he's trying to think of a funny one
we went after mark maron before take that uh Take that.
Oh, man.
The New York Times Review of Books?
I feel like there's always like the bumbo and the jam.
Yeah, there's always one of those where it's like squid pop and the grape gang.
Yeah, I think that is fair.
Yeah, something like that.
But take it.
Yeah, take it. Take all of it we we got you
you did dude i'm scared i'm nervous i'm being quiet john uh you have the first pick in the
thanksgiving food all fantasy everything draft and that pick will be we left a lot on the board
from our other alleged holiday yeah we didn't take any. That was a Christmas Hanukkah draft. Well, I know, but I don't even see
any like food on here.
I mean, yeah,
so turkey, obviously.
Really?
Yeah.
First.
First.
For Thanksgiving.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes, turkey.
And I knew you two
were going to do this.
You don't like turkey?
It's Thanksgiving.
I didn't say
I didn't like turkey.
We don't.
I didn't say that.
I feel like we go down this road where we're like
yes we're all very creative we're all very good at this and we're good at what we do but yeah
somebody was going to have turkey on their list yeah somebody we could have gotten it later you
could have gotten some like i don't know that i don't know i don't know that and i got some weird
stuff that'll go later yeah that's probably true turkey talk about turkey let's talk turkey got him ian's sitting like he sounds like he's
sitting like he's modeling oh yeah like he's on a shore somewhere that's like senior class photos
pose it is dude it really is just got the leg up and you're just like just like down by the creek
there it is telling me you don't watch Dawson's Creek.
Let's talk Pacey.
Yeah, man.
Pacey had sex with a teacher.
Whoa.
What?
That's what they were doing on that show?
That's what Pacey was doing.
Dawson wasn't.
Damn.
Dawson wasn't doing shit.
Wait.
There was a guy named Dawson on that show?
James Van Der Beek.
His name was Dawson.
I can't remember his last name. he was dawson did he have a
creek i don't think so i thought oh maybe there was like a creek but it wasn't named dawson's
creek he was dawson and i think there was a creek involved with the show anyway i just i like i like
the white meat on a turkey but i like no way dark meat dude why what's the big difference dark
meat's got sort of a richer
flavor yeah the fat content of the meat it makes it like it makes it more flavorful got a little
more going on like a lay like a thigh like a drumstick oh yeah you don't like a drumstick
I do I like I mean I like it all you know what I've never done I've never carved a turkey I'm
gonna have to today today as you're listening to this i will have probably carved a turkey or i'm
about to carve a turkey depending on when you listen to this sure yeah if i get a negative
covid test i might carve a turkey is it gonna be your first one what yeah not on the test but yes
on the turkey i've never carved a bird before i don't trust me with it somehow dana does you got
it you think so you gotta use that giant kamikado knife and just do it
from across the room i'm gonna i'm gonna do it from i'm gonna do it from my bedroom sam t's dad
taught me how to do it a couple years ago you you got it what's the what's the key i i was just
gonna just watch it on youtube and see where to start and then just thin slices that's the thing
you just want to get good slices i think It wants to come off the bone like that.
You know what I mean?
You just got to facilitate.
Thinking about just letting the rhythm take me, but I'll watch a video for you.
Oh, the rhythm is going to get you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turkey.
I don't not like turkey.
Had to happen.
Had to happen.
And I don't do that a lot.
I don't not like turkey.
Had to happen.
I just don't think it's not one of my favorite birds to eat not even top three
chicken just had to happen had to happen emu emu ostrich penguin certain parts of the country
turtle dove turtle dove whoa sorry i don't want to take pics just turkey and i knew it was going to get a somewhat
uh hot reaction and i was prepared for that turkey i don't know i never have i think i have
i think micah used to have a fryer and i think we did that is that what you do it's the only
frying it's use a fryer for yeah yeah yeah then yeah we have i don't know the only turkey that i've been like damn
i like usually i'm just like because it's just so dry like i realize i understand why they have
to make it so thin for deli meat is because when it's thick it's just so dry you know yeah dry meat
well i mean it's you know it goes with other stuff i'm not gonna turkey technology is getting
better i'll say I will say that.
The brining is helping.
Cooking it upside down or making a little tent on it or like figuring out different ways to cook it to maintain the moisture.
I mean, all of this turkey tech, all this advancement in turkey tech does stem from the jive turkey movie.
Didn't you go to turkey tech?
There was a recruiting scandal. I don't really want to get into it blah blah i can't win an ncaa championship oh shit i walked on the lacrosse team at turkey
tech and then i uh i broke my orbital bone yeah no it's that's where i got a great program though
yeah shout out to whitey long side yeah that's that's a lacrosse player is that a real lacrosse player but that's
i have i don't know that is such a lacrosse player name kennedy van buren oh yeah for sure
yeah direct descended to martin yeah and lawrence not not not
you want to name your bastard son kennedy van buren like i want to know it's my kid but i don't
want other people to know run scored at turkey i mean yeah it is it's all it's the centerpiece
had to have it's the centerpiece had to happen you should be stoked that opens up the door a
little bit for your pedestrian pics damn really like my man took turkey up top and now he's calling i told laura that you guys
you're walking across the street i used pedestrian the other day and you guys were both like
so i just used it again i like it yeah he doesn't pedestrian david time for your first fix
my first pick i'm taking and not on that box shit i'm taking oven baked macaroni and cheese
oh yeah yeah i fuck it is that because turkey's off the board you know that was gonna be my first
no matter what my first my last my everything yeah yeah i'm trashy what goes into an oven
baked mac and cheese i go what do you mean i go out the box the way my mom does it is she'd get
the egg noodle base and then she cut and then then she grounds up like two or three shreds up like two or different,
three different types of cheeses.
But then she has,
and she mixes that all in,
but then she has this like egg milk mixture thing.
She does that.
She pours over the whole shit and then she hits it with the oven and it's,
it's incredible. It's it's it's really like
it's like it's the first left it was always the first leftovers to go at our house yeah
mac and cheese would always be the first one that like we don't have any just like keep a fork in it
and then put it back in the fridge i'm eating i'm just eating squares for breakfast oh when it comes
out in squares we we were never in macaroni
and cheese thanksgiving house but i fuck i i see it i look at it longingly i look at it longingly
it looks it looks delicious australian chicago bull that's right yeah i know some stuff i know
you beat me trophy of pursuit we know you know some stuff no you know i'm starting to think this
whole thing has been a bullshit play this whole time dude i do read
i will do tv i do read yeah i look at these people's twitter bios some of them that hit
me with like hey you should really do tv and it says like tv producer i'd love to so if you have
any control over it help listen man so funny when somebody who's like it looks like
that's what their job is and they're like you should hop on tv bro put me i'm gonna start
sending you all the auditions that they send me so if you want to be a drug dealer who's as fat
and black as he is happy should i get a leather should i get a leather shirt yeah you should get
a leather shirt for that yeah actually that's definitely what they want me to do uh if you're gonna be sending them to sean uh auditions probably spelled
odd you know because they're a weirdo dude
auditions you keep losing that weight you're gonna be doing bod yeah i'm doing bod which
obviously that means you're gonna be in the erica badu biopic dude when i listen to the boss tones heavily i did a lot of scottish and scottish man you were skanking around for a while
when i'm down to huntington beach i mostly go on bra auditions
uh sometimes i go to the estuary and i do auditions estuary aviary is that what i meant to say it could be waterfowl dude yeah
you i don't i don't i don't ever waterfowl not since the polo days yeah true yeah yeah water
technical fouls every now and then yeah they call me water tea i gotta come down from that i'll go
to a spa audition you know hey there it is sometimes i Sometimes I worship different sun gods and have myself a raw edition.
Ah, there it is.
There it is.
I miss back when the Avalanche used to have Patrick Waugh auditions.
I'd be sitting there in the stands eating some coleslaw auditions.
I was a chubby kid one time in middle school.
They said I needed to take bra auditions.
Bradley Cooper was in that movie.
A Star is Born had to go through a Lady Gaga audition.
Oh, okay.
Long walk.
Long walk.
Long walk.
Long walk.
Nice hike.
Hey, that's what I like to hear.
We're cooking with gas fellas
no i microwave i microwave god damn it yeah i always microwave so
okay i'm baked oven baked mac and cheese back on you've never oven baked it all right i think you
could thank you i appreciate that i could i know oh it's up in the trunk i gotta go get it um yeah i could i
just uh i've got it will find that most of my it's a basic palette when it comes to these like
holiday foods because you know mac and cheese isn't a crazy it's not it's not like it's all
crazy to me until i make it once i've never oven oven baked it. There's no tagine in it. It's not a complex flavor.
You would love it.
No swallow eggs on that shit?
No, yeah, man.
It's all stuff you've had before.
Mac and cheese.
You know what?
I'm surprised you haven't made it.
You know what goes great on mac and cheese?
Hot sauce, dude.
Hot sauce.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's right.
That is true.
Put some Alfredo on there.
And anything.
You can...
God, I'm going to kill you.
Just dump some Alfredo sauce in there
and then eat it out of the sink i don't know about any of that i don't really like it i don't really
like it macaroni and cheese is my pick time for my next pick and uh i'm gonna try to cleanse the
after that alfredo comment i'm taking stuffing thank god oh yeah Oh, yeah. I love it. Yeah. It's the best.
It's really the glue.
It's the glue that holds the whole shit together.
It's bread salad.
What's not to like?
It's savory bread salad.
Yeah.
It's the only way they can get us to love salad.
Yeah.
When I first moved to LA, I would make stuffing for a dinner.
I would just get some of that stovetop and make that in a bowl, and that would be my
dinner.
Stovetop.
Remember, that was a campaign where they were like stove top.
It's not just for Thanksgiving.
Yeah,
it is.
It is.
But yeah,
like stove top.
Dad's house is fun too.
I got that.
I got that Nintendo.
You like
stove top. He's trying his best. I got that Nintendo you like.
Stovetop.
He's trying his best.
I remember at my dad's house back in the day,
he had a room in the basement that I would like,
that would be, it was like my movie room,
but all it was was like a folding chair,
and then it had one of those TVs,
like one of those TVs that was on the stand that you would see in like a school
that was like five feet high. You're like, what the fuck do you have that? Like it was strapped to it? So I kind of felt like that was on the stand that you would see in like a school that was like five feet high.
You're like, oh, like the metal, like it was strapped to it.
I kind of felt like I was at school.
And then when he had to, he would also come downstairs to poop and smoke cigarettes.
So that was like my chilling room was where he, if he had to, would poop and smoke cigarettes.
Wait, are you just saying you
were in a bathroom no i was like buy it it's just crazy to me when i say it out loud that like that
was his version of like yeah go have go have a good time down there wait so there was also a
bathroom down there yeah yeah but it was like basically in the same room it was like an
unfinished basement kind of so there was like sheetrock around it almost but there was a door there was a like a an uh opening so there wasn't a door but
it was like i couldn't see it wasn't opening yeah yeah there definitely was an opening yeah
just funny when i think about that's butt yeah
i just forget about that stuffing dude it's not it's my fucking favorite i just love it
when it's got sausage in it i'll say this right now i don't need any celery in my stuffing i
don't like it when it's in there it's confusing to me it's confusing i get that frustrating that
i don't like that flavor but like a little a little sausage stuffing in there we're making
challah bread stuffing challah bread stuffing for our thanksgiving dana made when sean was here we made challah
we braided it we cooked it up and then dana's had like sitting out for three days
getting stale so it can become really good stuffing and i can't wait it's a family recipe
apparently so how can you just put like can you just put some butter on that and go it's so soft
it's so good feels like it took all of me to not just eat it in the car
because i couldn't stop and get food i wanted to eat it so bad but i was like i have to bring it
home and you know share it with the queen so i didn't you gotta bring home the baked goods dude
yeah absolutely that's true yeah and the the carmel stuffing is great we'll often have like a couple
different varieties of stuffing apparently you cook it in the turkey which is crazy to me but
you know you also don't have to i just fucking love stuffing it's just like a savory salty like
bready absolutely tree texture is amazing too yeah amazing texture if you're a texture guy yeah
i'm getting stuffing in the first round and then i'm going to turn around i'm going to go ahead
and take pumpkin pie i'm going to lock down my dessert right now too solid solid solid choice pumpkin pie a little bit of whipped cream on top
yep what else do you need no that's that's amazing the og before all these other pumpkin
flavored things started coming into the picture before pumpkin spice lattes before pumpkin spice
chips or whatever the fuck all this stuff is pumpkin pie you know for my birthday laura made
me a pumpkin pie and her brother made me a pumpkin cheesecake and i was whoa i was in pumpkin heaven
it was real dang you're a big pumpkin fan i was for those two things i'm not really a pie person
i don't you're not a pie guy i don't love pie but really it's like one of those when someone's like
i don't like chocolate i like it but i just of those when someone's like i don't like chocolate
i like it but i just i'm like ian i'm more safe i like savory more yeah okay so i can like you know
i like it but i'm not thrilled about it but i was definitely excited there's a whole world of pie
you know there's like different shit they're like the like the custard pies are different than the
than your than your fruit pies you know are different yeah yeah then you're like you're like you're like like key lime what is that one i think that's a custard pie but
i don't even know is it custard based it's the same i would i'd put it in that same family as
like a pumpkin pie but key lime pie is fucking boss sauce but then what about like the banana
cream that's like a different that's a wacky cousin that's like a that's a wet that's a wet ass pie that is a wet pie it's a wet
pie it's for face mushing whenever you guys hire another writer at cordon and it's your first day
like officially meeting them and they turn in their first piece will you tell them that it's
boss sauce and don't let them know that you're kidding just so they so they think that you're
serious and they're like ian just called it boss sauce and they're like yeah that's what yeah you
must he must like your boss sauce guy boss sauce i thought you were gonna ask him to mush a pie
in their face first day shit would be hey welcome welcome to the nfl rook i personally thought the
script was boss sauce but cordon had a lot of notes so this is from him and then you just
shove the pie in their face that's from cordo bro that's
from your boss do better we gotta get it to where cordon thinks it's boss sauce too like i it's not
enough for me to think it's boss sauce and i do think i do i do but yeah cordo doesn't i get it
so here's another pie since we're still talking about it pumpkin pie we had no i won't get into
all the different ones at the at the carmel thanksgivings we had an array of different pies
but pumpkin pie
was always my favorite i never eat it any other time of year when would i i just love it at
thanksgiving do you hit it with that cool whip oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like you gotta drown it
a decent amount of cool whip yeah for sure for sure yeah i want that shit to breathe
i wanted to look like fucking tom hanks getting off that island, dude.
Yes.
Lots of white.
Yeah, man.
I want it to look like they're fucking.
Yeah.
You don't know where the cool starts and the pie ends.
I can't talk.
No, you got it.
Yeah.
Struggling to fight.
I want it like Sean on a waterbed, dude. I just want to put in a lot of effort.
Especially if you get it in that weird spot where the pie is kind of hot and the whip's cold yeah it starts to melt a little bit yeah hot pie cold whip dude fuck yeah it's another double disc i got
coming out yeah uh so that's my second pick sorry i just I just hot pie cold whip. I just got, I just imagined me and like an icy blue Mustang 5.0 with Oprah next to me.
Just like, just like driving.
That's, you know, anyways, my next pick.
Who's the hot pie?
Who's the cold whip in that scenario?
I don't know.
That's my question. That's, it could be any. You're the hot pie. I could be the hot pie. You're the hot pie who's the cold whip in that scenario i don't know that's my question that's
it could be any of the hot i could be the hot pie uh next one is my mom always made it uh
collard greens with like ham hocks in it man i love it with a little bit of hot sauce it always
takes so long and you're always like it felt like so many times that would be the last thing to be
done and you'd be like, this shit is taking forever.
And then it's just like, it's just a good, because you do need some, as a kid, you're like, okay, I do need some green shit on this plate.
Absolutely.
But this isn't like, this is tart.
You know what I mean? It's not like, it's not like eating a salad or whatever.
And, you know, I'll eat them cold sometimes, man.
And then you got some pork in there to make it like give it more incentive to
eat that shit i love it you definitely need some greens in your thanksgiving never wanted greens
on my plate never you can believe no god no then the whole plate is the beige wave it is all beige
wave it looks like it just got drafted by the sacramental kings in like 1998 1997 long suit body long yeah i was never like where's the bitch well no i never never ever it never even occurred to you
that like maybe i should throw some peacemakers into this like my class can't all be kids who
get to detention three times a week i don't even make my kids go to school on that plate
i believe living like the kids in the
overboard movie where it's like no holds barred treehouse in the house that kind of shit uh those
collard greens and like ham that needs to cook forever right yeah it's like oh it's like such a
and it seems like because they gotta cook them down it just always seemed like such a lengthy
process but it's always well worth it and it was just like yeah that flavor it would just like
i don't want to get into other picks but sometimes it would mix with maybe some sweet stuff on your
plate oh yeah and then it's just and then you got the hot sauce on there too oh it's amazing
we never had any hot sauce around the table that's wild you never you love hot sauce yeah
we never had it uh i didn't i don't i didn't start that movement. I didn't start that chapter until I moved to Portland, I don't think.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
You were a late in life hot sauce guy.
Yeah.
Maybe a little, maybe like a year before.
Because I do remember going to Qdoba with Rude Boy and getting pretty buck with the Cholula.
But I think I never had...
That did sound funny.
Just for a second.
I remember going to Qdoba with Rude boy, getting buck with the Cholula.
That's a, that's a sex trafficking story.
That's the Sean Gordon special, man.
That's like, sounds like a different movie about capoeira.
Going to Q double with rude boy, getting buck with the Cholula.
Yeah. Well, I remember doing that like a year before portland but then portland is where i first had sriracha and that changed the game oh yeah the three yeah yeah i feel like that's a lot
of people's entry point too because it's just it's so it's undeniable you like even if it's
spicy you're like i gotta i gotta fuck with this flavor it keeps you coming back yeah yeah for sure collard greens and ham hock i've had it i fucking love it it's delicious
yeah it's like it's it's a it's a constant hit if you guys were like the two middle linebackers
and i was the quarterback i'd i would collard greens and ham hock dude i'd be like block them
get them out there you call us collard greens and ham hock yeah what who would you call which
oh yeah neither one of you got that oh you'd be the you're you don't we don't play football Get them out there. You call us collard greens and ham hock? Yeah. What? Who would you call which? Oh. Yeah.
Neither one of you got that?
Oh, you'd be the, you don't, we don't play football on the same team in your fantasy?
Yeah, you're the two linebackers opposite me and I'm the quarterback.
And I'm telling, like, pick up collard greens and ham hock.
They've been coming for me the whole game.
I'm ham hock?
Yeah.
And he's collard greens?
Or if you want it the other way.
Or he could be collard hock and he could be ham greens.
I don't care.
Whoa. I think you did it. I i don't care i think you did it i think you just did it
ham greens well one of you block collardhawk and ham greens they're fucking eating my lunch
every time i catch the ball what i'm saying is in your football fantasies we don't all play on the same team not this particular one i think oh
that's a bummer well at least we're on the same team yeah yeah that's tight as hell ham greens
we that's the that's how they signed us yeah we signed one contract you were like i'm not coming
unless ham greens come in yeah i will not commit it's like little romeo and lindale white
at usc that's right yeah no who was it margaret rosen demar de rosen yeah yeah lindale white
shout out to lindale white big shout out to lindale white thunder he's thunder
red bush's lightning oh yeah oh yeah one from colorado chauncey billups cousin anyways sean
time for your second and third picks you turkey
no they both feel so we didn't have any like deep recipes or anything it was just all like yeah
so well that we just didn't i mean yeah oh you mean okay yeah the jordan has all like out of
the box but um my mom did oven bake and i had to call it off but she used to oven bake scallop
potatoes so i don't really know what went into them great some kind of cheese i think she would put onions in them and i didn't love it so she
would make like half without onions for me and uh they were just perfect scalloped potatoes sweetheart
and that is something that we really never got other than thanksgiving like dude there's never
nobody ever made them oh my stepdad's mom would make them for different holidays but she always
it was like a big onion it might as well just been an onion so i never ate them i my stepdad's mom would make them for different holidays but she always it was like a
big onion it might as well just been an onion so i never ate them i don't like big onion david and
i have also gone by that on the football field yeah yep yep yep because we're gonna absorb your
smells yeah and i'm gonna make you cry yeah no his name was austin fleeger who made me cry
oh knocked me out i woke up crying the scallop potato was a staple in the
carmel household growing up yeah we never we only had it around thanksgiving sue carmel's nice with
it we did it with ham speaking of ham i don't remember the last time i had scallop potatoes
i bet you could make scallop potatoes you should learn how to make scallop potatoes
i should they still they still got the box itch right yeah i could make those tomorrow not doing anything it's gonna be raining yeah oh it's gonna be raining you're
gonna be listening to fucking like our deep r&b yeah practicing your your larry uh your
larry fishburne impression like different different silk songs other than freak me
yeah i don't think that that's a thing scallop potatoes and what
is your third pick uh third pick god you guys i'm i'm feeling this weird pressure here because
they're all so basic don't feel pressure i mean mashed potatoes they're basic just just straight
up mashed potatoes mashed potatoes yeah just mashed potatoes yeah man i you know i don't think i i think with one
pick i get mashed potatoes oh i see what you're saying i don't think they're a package deal
so yeah i don't know if they are i don't think so either i don't think they are in this draft
they're not i can handle them really still jam a bunch of butter in that shit yeah they're still
gonna go they're still gonna go well with the scalloped potatoes and the turkey uh are you out the box on that or are you like those were mom had a pretty
good mashed potato grandma had a really good one that was the first times i was introduced to like
uh she was the only one that would make like lumpy mashed potatoes now i love it and she would leave
that she would leave the skin in too which oh i like that i like that a lot i love that if people
don't and they're homemade now i'm just like like, why? Leave it in. It's great.
Why?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love it.
That's how it tastes.
Yeah.
And it's good to have a little chunky one.
As soon as we actually married into my stepdad's family, I feel like we got a little more outside the box, as it were, as far as cooking went, because they started making.
Literally.
Literally.
Outside.
Outside the box. inside the in-laws
oh we were bumming marissa out the other night i can't do it is the strong word there
you weren't bumming kept saying nipple oh god i don't like it either i'm with you you were like saying stuff like body
sauce stop it yeah sean kept talking about his body he loves to do that nipple body okay okay is it my goddamn turn it's my fucking hold on hold on
supple nipple i want to see this is a food draft
my nip my nipples were supple in nepal i'm picking green bean casserole
yeah as i started complaining about greens i do like green bean casserole. Yeah. As I started complaining about greens, I do like green bean casserole, but I never was
like fiending for it, but I can throw it on the plate.
No.
I feel like I only ever had it at Thanksgiving, and it's like-
With those French onion twists on top?
Yeah.
It's amazing, man.
This shit is so good.
Absolutely.
It's so good.
It's so-
I always-
I would get in trouble for getting into the French onions. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. This shit is so good. Absolutely. I would get in trouble for getting into the French onions.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Because you start looking at that, you're like, these are chips.
They're not.
You don't fool me.
You don't fucking.
You're not going to fool me.
Yeah, you're chips.
You put chips on those green beans.
These are healthy.
Now it's time to pay tax.
Green beans with chips on them?
That's the health food of the day?
Yeah.
You're going to come into my house and sprinkle chips on some shit,
and I'm not going to know it's chips?
That's not how it goes in this kitchen.
It's time to pay tax.
Give me the chips.
Yeah.
Who do you think ate all those fun-sized Fritos while you were cooking?
There's no more in the bag.
Now it's all just Funyuns.
Chips, dude oh i love those little
french onion things they're so good can you just buy those yeah yeah i don't know if i want to
start the habit that's the kind of thing that we shouldn't know yeah yo exactly that exactly that
exactly that sell people spray paint the french onions you should have to go in and give your ID.
You should have to prove you're cooking green bean casserole.
Yeah, like you have to buy it in conjunction with those other things.
I bet you a few adults have just been walking in a grocery store and seen those and been like, well, I guess, yeah.
I guarantee it.
And then they just pick up a bag and they're like, I'm going to eat these tonight.
I've bought sprinkles before just because.
Turned out, you know, it doesn't translate to anything else, but I tried it.
Yeah, those don't have flavor by themselves, do they?
No, it was a big mistake.
Oh, you should have tried to put them on your nipples, David.
All right.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm done.
I'm done.
Please stop doing that
green bean casserole is my pick i think it's delicious yeah i think it's very thanksgiving
centric and i have a good time with it that's a fun thing to throw on the sandwich the day after
too you're just like kidding me i'm putting green bean casserole on this thing who am i i'm anybody
i need to be yeah man because it comes baked in the thing about
green bee casserole cooked into the dish with my next pick i'm taking gravy yeah yeah that's a good
call it's weird they went they went separate but gravy's it's you don't just get it because you
pick mashed potatoes you don't no that's it that gravy is a walk-on who worked its way into a
scholarship yeah yeah because i don't just put it on mashed potatoes no i'm i'm all over it
goes over everything i give a great gravy drizzle to the whole plate yep yeah i mean i just think
that's kind of how it goes i yeah everywhere it gets on jello yeah my mom gets weird about it she
won't she doesn't like it to mix with things and i'm like that's ridiculous it i don't know to me
it's like all the food is, gravy's just part of it.
Gravy tells you all you need to know about turkey.
All right?
That's all I'll say.
Because have it without it.
Have it without it.
Have it without it.
Try it without it.
Let us know how that goes.
Yeah, just that dry turkey with no sweet, sweet gravy.
Now, what color is your gravy that you like
i believe we had a sort of a brown gravy i love a brown gravy i also love a white country though
i do too oh on a listen on a that's not thanksgiving either yeah can you not do that
you can but i just don't see it a lot okay it's more normally brown hey hey hey hey hey you know what i mean normally brown uh yeah
i love a fucking i like oh i well i'm gonna do with my next pick actually i'm gonna combine it
so you'll get my next pick you know what i love is just getting a fucking roll which is my next pick roll yeah just had rolls on that soaked to the point of pure
saturation with gravy and just like sopping up sopping up some other shit on the plate with it
maybe some of the green beans maybe some of the turkey and then just putting that in my fucking
greedy little mouth yeah i will turn my fork into a spoon with about a fourth of a biscuit so i'll
like fourth it up and then put
it on the end and then you can just like shovel everything and then it makes like a tiny little
little yeah it's a scoop layer of it and yeah i'll like you get it all in there
love it
get it all up in there we're gonna be we're gonna be using challah just to keep going back to that as if you didn't know i was jewish uh as as our roles on uh on thanksgiving so i'll i'll report back yeah
let's take some pics yeah i forget that i get to contribute this year some challah bread i can't
since we started doing this i've forgotten twice that it is in the car right now
hopefully it'll be holding up okay i think it will by then yeah i'm sure it is it's a rolls yeah gravy and rolls is that four is that four for me
okay and yet again another nickname that david and i went by yeah i mean i feel like my next
pick is is gonna be more of the same uh i'm picking a pie also And it's hard because it's a toss between two pies that I really love.
Okay.
But I got to pick pecan pie.
Oh, yeah.
Man, I love it.
Oh, yeah.
I love it.
We've all talked about how much I love savory.
It's almost like a salty pie.
And then you get that a la mode.
You get that ice cream on it.
And it's just got that great texture.
Oh, man, I love it.
I love pecan
pie i love how stick i love how dense and sticky it is yeah that's i mean come on more nicknames
i was sticky was my actual that's what i'm saying and i was dense when i was in high school
dense as hell i'm still dense as hell black star walking yeah ted denson
dirty denson dude denses starring denzel dense dense l washington
it was dense now before it was denny's oh my gosh dense l washington like dense l period
washington yeah damn dude that might be i mean i'm not telling you to change your nickname but Dense L, Washington. Like, dense L period Washington. Yeah, dense L Washington.
Damn, dude, that might be, I mean, I'm not telling you to change your nickname, but dense L Washington.
That's up there with Garage UP Hanson.
It really is.
Yeah.
Dense L Washington.
I'll think about it.
That's a long break.
Just roll it around.
You know.
It comes off the tongue good, though.
Pecan pie is so fucking good for some reason.
Like I, I like the crust, like, I don't know if it's a different crust, but I often find
myself enjoying the crust more on a pecan pie.
I feel like there's just more salt on it in general.
Yeah.
I don't know why I think that that might be wrong, but that's how I feel.
I can't eat some pecans last night.
Did you really not?
Yeah.
Atta boy. For a, for a salad. I had to candy these pecans up night. Did you really? What? Yeah. Atta boy.
For a salad, I had to candy these pecans up, and fucking, they're so good.
I was just like, hum, hum, hum, the whole time.
I couldn't stop.
Pecan Sandys?
Ooh, Pecan Sandys.
Pecan Randys?
I think legally we're not allowed to talk about Pecan Randy on this podcast.
No, not since it shut down.
That was a whole, that's a whole dark web situation pecan randy's yeah or peaking randy's yeah either
way it was not good and i've never been there no we've never been to peaking no no no i only go i
only go to strip clubs that are certified that's right that's right that aren't on a barge six
miles offshore yeah yeah
yeah none of my strip clubs i go to let you shoot guns that would be risky a mobile strip club
yeah you're not allowed to tip with cock cock fighting roosters
i was gonna save this for my wife's dowry but that's awesome we would never go that's a great pick sean time for your fourth and then your
final pick as it is the fourth pick is i think just for us but it was for me when i was a picky
kid uh picky eater tomato soup with oyster crackers that was uh what tomato soup with
oyster crackers on thanksgiving on thanksgiving we would have that because I was real picky when I was a kid.
And I loved it, and I still do.
It's just a nice little
thing for me because I didn't want to eat
anything exotic. I just wanted real basic.
Not like turkey's exotic or anything.
But yeah, I would just get tomato soup, load it up
with oyster crackers, and go nuts.
I'll allow it.
Can we allow it? If it's what you ate on Thanksgiving.
I'll allow it. If you ate it if it's what you ate on thanksgiving yeah if you ate it
yeah not a traditional thanksgiving food for sure no soup doesn't often make the cut well i appreciate
you giving me it should though it's fall it's fall why don't i'm not no i'm not advocating for
tomato soup though i do love it why isn't there more butternut squash soup or like stuff like
that i think because people take the time to like for real cook i don't know how long that stuff
takes to cook does it soup oh soup can take a minute man yeah you make a
homemade soup because you gotta boil down you gotta boil down some shit some stock or some
shells or some bones or some shit yeah dude not in the jordan household you just get that can
says campbell's right on it well but i but at the campbell's household that's how they started it yeah yeah it's real basic uh but it was
just something we always did on thanksgiving for me and and the other kids i guess who didn't want
to eat i really didn't want to get into any of the adult foods not like they're bad or gross but
i was real picky when i was a kid i went through a phase where i didn't like pizza for a while
like whoa really odd was that just like a rebellion i think so i think it's where i didn't like pizza for a while like whoa really odd was that just like a rebellion
i think so i think it's rather like no that couldn't have been like a taste situation no i
doubt it if it yeah if i am if i grew up to be the man i am had anything to do with the boy i was
it's not i love pizza who doesn't like pizza but yeah you do love pizza i do love pizza boy
yeah pizza boy yeah i'm a little stupid pizza boy. Yeah, I'm a pizza boy.
Tomato soup and oyster crackers.
And your final pick?
My final pick is going to be something that my mom made on Thanksgiving for us.
And it was Jell-O eggs.
They were like just the size of an egg.
Like a normal carton of eggs you'd get.
Like blue.
They were Jell-O.
And it was like our dessert that we'd have on Thanksgiving.
And we'd have them on Christmas, to be honest.
But Thanksgiving was first. Was there anything else in there? No, it was like our dessert that we'd have on Thanksgiving. And we'd have them on Christmas, to be honest. But Thanksgiving was first.
Was there anything else in there?
No, it was just thick eggs.
They're amazing.
They're like one of my favorite.
They're just fantastic.
And they're exactly what you think they are.
They're just like the size of an egg, but it's just jello.
And you just eat it.
And it's great.
There's nothing else in there.
You could put stuff in there.
You could put fruit in there if you wanted. And you just hump. Did you ever try? Or was it always just like...-O and you just eat it and it's great. There's nothing else in there. You could put stuff in there. You could put fruit in there if you wanted.
And you just, did you ever try?
Or was it always just like?
No, I loved them.
I still love them so much.
I just, the feeling of biting into a huge chunk of Jell-O is just something great about it.
You ever launch them at people like those bad guys in Mario 2?
I've thrown them at people.
I've never launched them out of the mouth, but yeah, I've thrown them.
You got to launch them out of the mouth, man. Come on. They're like full eggs. You've never launched them out of the mouth but yeah i've thrown them you gotta launch them out of the mouth man come on they're like full eggs you
could launch an egg out of your mouth it'd go like david's doing right now
yeah that's and it's gone then it's gonna play like a champion yeah i will ever seen belushi i'm a zit you know that was
improvised i believe it yeah nobody wrote that you mean john landis didn't write that
yeah i mean that's that's so funny though that he improvised anyway yeah like a like just a
jello egg i mean really it's just dense jello that i picked but uh in the shape of an egg and i love it great yeah yeah david time
for your final pick uh my final pick is a beverage because i feel like i gotta have one and this was
as a kid i loved it so much and it was like maybe you'd get it on new year's but really
thanksgiving was the only time i'm going with martinelli sparkling apple cider that's a great remember it
was always like kids have champagne too which is a very maybe not the lane i should have gone in
but like i just i love it so much but like you never when i got my first apartment i bought like
four bottles of it just because i thought it was fly to just have some yeah on hit but like it's
kind of fly that is a fun move actually yeah did you guys do that did you guys also do that it was just like it was the
kids drink always was this was the martinelli it because it was in the champagne bottles we
definitely had it the adults were drinking wine yeah yeah and the kids were like oh you get it
because you never get that you know what i mean it's like apple soda but you never get it so yeah
it was basically apple soda yeah no yeah it get it. It was basically apple soda. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
No, yeah.
That's definitely a big holiday drink.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Martinelli's sparkling cider.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
Good job.
My final pick, I'm going to put on for, this is a version.
It's kind of a cranberry, jello-y, walnut-y salad that my mom knows how to make.
Okay.
It's really good.
It's delicious.
I don't really like cranberries that much.
They make my mouth hurt.
But this, there's enough other shit going on.
Yeah, I was going to say, if you tone them down a little bit, then they're fine.
Yeah.
If it's just not cranberries in your mouth.
Is cranberries the base, or there like romaine or something too?
No, there's no other salad stuff.
It's like, it's just like a fruit salad basically.
But like cranberry gel, like jellied cranberries and like walnuts basically.
I love cranberry.
I love stuff that's like too tart.
I also love grapefruit juice.
So like that's right up my alley.
Like I love that.
I love that.
Grapefruit juice sucks. Yeah, that shit's so good. sucks yeah this shit's so good it's a sue carmel it's a sue carmel special hell yeah and that's
that is the final pick that's the final pick of the thanksgiving foods draft to recap sean you
went first you took turkey scallop potatoes mashed potatoes tomato soup and oyster crackers and jello
eggs david you went second you took
macaroni and cheese ham hocks and collard greens green bee casserole pecan pie and sparkling apple
cider made by the martinelli's corporation and i went last i took stuffing pumpkin pie gravy
rolls and that sort of jelly jellied cranberry salad sort of thing i got iced i uh it's tough hearing it out loud
i didn't realize i picked two kinds of potatoes back to back nothing wrong with two kinds of
potatoes no there's not cheesy potatoes those are different than scalloped potatoes right
i'm just thinking like what got left on the board are cheesy do you guys like have an idea of what
cheesy potatoes are i don't really know what those are i always thought cheesy potatoes were scalloped but that's might be potatoes al graten is that
the same as scalloped potatoes i just i have an idea of cheesy potatoes and i feel like they're
different the way some people make them but i couldn't really articulate it so i was damn near
gonna pick a third potato i like uh i like a spinach dip i like the you know when they have the appetizers before
oh yeah a spinach dip shit yeah i had a peach cobbler oh yeah my mom used to do this uh
uh mashed sweet potatoes with like marshmallows and cinnamon on top yeah we left the sweet
potatoes and the yams out i'm not i'm not a huge sweet potato fan, but they are a Thanksgiving staple.
I love it.
I love it on Thanksgiving.
No other time.
I think sweet potato fries are egregious, but I do like it.
I like it during Thanksgiving.
I feel like I need to try sweet potatoes again, because the last time I tried them, I can't
remember when it was.
I was a kid, and I barfed, and I've never tried them since and i i've hated them my whole life because of that obviously i wonder if i have my palate has
matured a little bit i think you should try them yeah post crip you never know change as a man
marissa do you have a thanksgiving pick uh i can't think of anything really left on the board
you guys kind of covered it all that's right thorough felt complete well marissa doesn't
have one but we bet you do and we want to hear it hit us up at all fantasy That's right. Thorough. Felt complete. Well, Marissa doesn't have one, but we bet you do
and we want to hear it. Hit us up at allfantasypod
on twitter.com, allfantasypodcast
at gmail.com.
Shout out to super producer
Marissa. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Thank you to everyone on the
AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding
us down. Shout out to
everyone on the All Fantasy Everything
subreddit. Thank you. I do have a shout out here. Somebody sent all fantasy everything subreddit thank you uh i do have a
shout out here somebody sent me something hold on let me let me find it here okay so this is from
megan and it's for uh fahim oh austin huh they're they're from austin right oh they're from austin
i don't i didn't look that far into it but it looks like i believe so yeah uh they
they uh the just we're just happy for the two of you we're very happy for the two of you
congratulations on uh on on on both of you beautiful children and uh and we're just very
happy for you in general thank you for thank you for rocking with us oh yeah oh yeah man yeah no
he cut they come out to all our stuff yeah good. They saw me when I was back when I used to do stand-up at clubs.
One of these days.
It'll be a while.
In the before times.
Yeah, it will be a while, but it will happen again.
Well, shout out to you guys.
Shout out to everyone.
Thank you all for listening.
It's Thanksgiving, and we are very grateful for you
and for all the time you spend with us
and for all the love you show us.
We know you can spend your time anyway,
and it means the world that you spend it with us.
It really does.
And you give us good vibes all the time,
and it truly is amazing.
So thank you for that.
Hear, hear.
Absolutely.
Could not agree more.
God bless us
each and every one that's right yeah yeah and uh maybe not more important but just as important as
that tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything laker girls
you got a weird one i had to do one I never done one I had to do one
that was a hate gum podcast