All Fantasy Everything - The Best Things We Can't Afford (w/ Rob Haze)

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting really nice things we can't afford. What was the phrasing? Cool things? I thought it was, uh, yeah, expensive things we can't afford. Expensive things we can't afford. Like we said- It was the best things we can't afford. The best things we can't afford. Expensive things we can't afford, like we said. It was the best things we can't afford. The best things we can't afford. Our guest today is the stand-up comedian, the writer, the podcaster, Rob Haze.

Starting point is 00:01:12 Come on. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, are comedians Sean Jordan and David Borey. I'm not, I feel like I'm not looking right. I'm looking at you. At the right place. Yeah, we're doing a video podcast for the first, well I guess, we're doing a video podcast.

Starting point is 00:01:30 We're guessing Denver we did one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we've done them, I mean we used to do them, well no, but we used to do them all the time here. Oh y'all don't put the Zoom out? Not really. Yeah, we put it up on Patreon,

Starting point is 00:01:40 but it's not like edited or anything. I just assumed you had to pay like a million on Patreon to get the Zoom. Isaac, maybe that's what we should do. That's the goal. That's us here now. Isaac told us he didn't want to look at our faces for as long as it would take to get that edited.

Starting point is 00:01:58 That's right. Yeah. You look sexy, Isaac, by the way. Thank you. You look sexy. Do you want to get in front of the camera just really quick? I have a camera. Oh, you have your own camera?

Starting point is 00:02:06 Oh, no. We're doing what the crowd word comedians do. We didn't authorize that. How often are you gonna be cutting it? I hope you cut to yourself a lot. No, tiny bit. I want it probably like a fifth of the podcast. Can you be in a lower square?

Starting point is 00:02:21 A lower third? Can it be like PIP? Yeah. Like we always got a camera on you can we do an Isaac Altcast like you Eli Manning sort of do you oh they're just commenting on this one sure yeah me and Mars just on a FaceTime oh hell yeah all right great well we're here in the beautiful headgum studios in scenic Sunset Junction in silver like doing a throwback remember scenic Sunset Junction in Silver Lake, doing a throwback, remember scenic downtown Los Angeles?

Starting point is 00:02:46 I don't know, dude. No, you're going high. I know, it's going bad. I had forgotten about that bit, but I now remember. It's going bad. It is nice, we got a cloudy LA right now, which is fun. It's misty out, yeah. I like a cloudy LA.

Starting point is 00:02:59 All right, well. Should we get out of here? Yeah, let's go. We are drafting beautiful things we can't afford. Isaac, you'll figure out the title. I will. Best things we can't afford. Best things we can't afford.

Starting point is 00:03:13 We just got back from New Orleans. This is our first episode. Oh man, shout out to everybody who came to New Orleans. That was so, that was so, that live band, I didn't really get to talk to you too much about it. Oh yeah. How long did you know that was gonna happen? Well, you were on the group text working out. It didn't there was no definitive Like it's happening. Oh, that's me. Andrew hopped off. Yeah, so

Starting point is 00:03:35 A lot of people call it Jew or like Being Andrew Pace when to laugh at that. Yeah. I didn't wait too quick. I waited until Dave left and I was like, alright. Yeah. And I waited until it was enough time that... Because you know when you say something and people laugh too fast

Starting point is 00:03:56 and then you're like, wait, he likes it. He likes it bad. You've been calling it your Orleans mind like that. Yeah. Just cut out the Orleans. He's like, whatever comes next time on board. It's like when Ludacris is on a song, you're like, I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:04:12 It's, so Andrew and I of Sports Drink fame, we're talking about getting a second line for in between the A.F.E. podcast and the A.F.E. standup show. And then he let me know that there was not enough room because they're literally right next door to each other. So it wouldn't have been enough time. I was thinking, oh, it's gonna be a block or two.

Starting point is 00:04:32 And then you get a second line and you walk with them from place to place, which is like what that traditionally is. And he was like, well, it's not enough, but I'll just get a band for as soon as the show lets out and then we can hang out. And he kind of took care of it from there. So he did he got this amazing Let me see what it worked out to be your last pick. That was the crazy part because we drafted

Starting point is 00:04:53 Um, well, we were cahoots about that. Okay, we drafted songs from artists from New Orleans. Yes It was pretty sick, dude I picked Hootie Who first and it was the worst. I've never heard a worse reaction. Like a lead balloon. First of all time. Yeah. That's a crazy first pick.

Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah, it wasn't great, but it was better than I got credit for. Nobody made a single lead. I think they played it. This is, cause this, can we talk about last night for one second? I was gonna bring it up in the serpentine draft, but yeah. Sean bombed on the jukebox last night. I did not. Okay, I did not. Okay. I did not. Okay. Listen. I was going to bring it up in the serpentine draft, but yeah. Sean bombed on the jukebox. I did not. Okay, I did not. Okay. I did not.

Starting point is 00:05:27 Okay, listen. I did not. Hey. Yo, shut up. Yo. He was like, this is about to go nuts. They played. Yo, bombing on the jukebox when you have people there

Starting point is 00:05:40 is nuts. It wasn't loud enough. First of all, it wasn't loud enough. It wasn't. I'm gonna break this whole studio. You think I won't go crazy in here? I think the people there were like, it's too loud. I think that's the problem. So they were playing Six Feet, or one more, One More Breath by Creed. They were playing that song about G.I. Something, something, six feet from the edge and I'm thinking and that song. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:07 Okay. And they were all singing. So all these Hermosa Beach. All right. I'm, I'm stepping away from the touch tones when I hear this. Well, okay. Yeah, this is why I thought it's beyond me. So we're in Hermosa Beach.

Starting point is 00:06:18 The room is beyond my control. With a bunch of Hermosa Beach ass dudes in this bar. One of them had an American flag jumpsuit on and we're in like a dive bar. And so I go, check this out. I'm gonna go, I think I got their taste. Called your shot. So I went and played butterfly by crazy town. And I just, I sat down and I remember I was hiding it.

Starting point is 00:06:35 And then I walked away and David's like, I could see it, it's still up there. Yeah, you didn't want, he thought it was gonna go so crazy. We couldn't see it before he pressed it. I thought it was gonna go crazy town. Cause we were gonna be like, oh, he's right. He's right.

Starting point is 00:06:47 So I sit back down and it comes on and like two guys went like. And then that was it. Nothing. I really thought the whole place was going to run. It was. It was. The beach is one of them spots where you really just got to know what they're into. I thought it would be crazy town. I did karaoke there. Halloween night. I thought it would be crazy town. I did karaoke there Halloween night. Somebody did Ghostbusters.

Starting point is 00:07:09 I'm like, well, I'm following that with Ghostbusters too. On our own. The Bobby Brown song? Bobby Brown. That's never bombed karaoke like that before. It was like they, it was like, and Ghostbusters was so stupid. I just knew too hot to Handle was just gonna

Starting point is 00:07:27 blow the roof off the place. And they was just like, you know, this is not no Bobby Brown spot, rapping or singing or running man and whatever. Do not do that here. Yeah, like, and then I gotta do the rap. Without bombing. Too hot to handle, too cold to hold.

Starting point is 00:07:48 We're the Ghostbusters and we're in control. They don't wanna hear about Viggo at all. What they say about Viggo? I'm not breathing, it's, yeah. Try to battle my boys, that's illegal. Then I tried. I'll supply the ghost. So I tried.

Starting point is 00:08:02 Um. Ghost law. I'll supply the ghost. So I tried. Um. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha because it hurt. What was the second bump? Are you the swarm? Yeah. Are you on the app or are you walking to the machine? I put 40 bucks in there. Oh, so now, but now they see you. No, they didn't give a shit. They didn't even notice.

Starting point is 00:08:32 They weren't. Oh no, they noticed. I don't think they noticed. No, they didn't make it obvious, but they're like, yo, you coming back? You coming back? Also, okay. You went back up there.

Starting point is 00:08:41 Remar, help me out with this story. We were just sitting there and some woman came up and just started. What did she she just started talking to us and we weren't having it. And she's like, what? You remember that? Yeah. And then I was like, you're really angry at this lady. She's so bad. Why do you look so? He was like, stop it. Stop it. Go away. She gave up because she was just incoherent.

Starting point is 00:09:04 He was also lashing out from the bomb. Yeah, you were hurt. Her people, her people. If it would have been a little louder. Coming up to you after you played, come my lady, come, come my lady. I want to start dancing. I want to start dancing right now. Come over there.

Starting point is 00:09:17 This fucking fish keeps biting the hook I put in the water. You know, you know, I played it. I played it twice, too. I was like, it'll work. No you didn't. You went back to crazy town? I was like, I don't think they heard it. He was in crazy town.

Starting point is 00:09:34 It was really wild. Did you ask anyone to turn the volume up or anything like that? No, I was too shook. I didn't know what was going on. I walked away and there were like 30 credits in there still. I was like, I don't deserve it. I got the app.

Starting point is 00:09:44 Cause sometimes I'll be in like a waffle house in a place where I don't want them to know Where the earth when it fires coming from? Yeah, you know I'm saying but the as well when I'm in a waffle house My strategy is always Play with the cooks like then everybody's having a good time. Yeah, I didn't know you Yeah, your strategy is also isn't double crazy time. Never double anything. Double anything is like, oh, someone here pissed me off. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:11 Yeah, I'm gonna end, and also, if I hit the double, I'm out the door. I'm not gonna double and wait around to see what happens. No, you toss the grenade and then you leave. Right, yeah. I was sitting there. I'm doing even the first. I'm hitting the double from the parking lot.

Starting point is 00:10:27 Fucking cut me off. Hey, take my seat. I'm blood in the box, bro. I don't care. I'm out. Yeah, I blew it. It was I tried a couple other. What other? I did try a few other. I can't remember. Backstreet Boys. No.

Starting point is 00:10:43 A lot less outspoken about the other ones. Well yeah. Because Double Crazy Town hit and then he just didn't want, I think he wanted to get one and then be like, oh, who's dumb now? I can see how you got to Crazy Town from Creed. And I can see how you got,

Starting point is 00:10:56 it's weird that Sublime didn't work. I'm telling you, it wasn't loud enough. It just, joking aside, it wouldn't be funny for a stadium. You're going through it, right? Can I feel your pulse? I think you're it wasn't loud enough. It just, joking aside, it wouldn't be funny for a singer. You're going through it, right? Can I feel your pulse? I think you're going through it right now. Your heart rate is jacked.

Starting point is 00:11:11 Okay. Well, does anybody else have a piss off the crowd jukebox song? We did, Crazy Town. I mean, Crazy Town would be that for you. I think that's- Because we drafted that one time. I think that's the worst song.

Starting point is 00:11:22 Songs that piss people off in a bar. Didn't we do that? Yeah. I think we got into a, I think you and I had a disagreement because I was I would be excited Yeah an argument. Oh, yeah an argument. Yeah an argument I would be excited to hear crazy town I I I like the kitsch value of it Sean put on the video this morning and I was like pretty upset What was something about it just really, I just hate it. One of them looks like he's the singer

Starting point is 00:11:47 who's like all shredded with all the piercings he passed. And then the other dude looks like- Well see the Crazy Town guy. Oh you put Crazy Town on this morning? Yeah, in the clips. Oh so you ran it back a third time? Yeah. You were like, I guess I'll enjoy it.

Starting point is 00:11:57 You like Crazy Town. That's a B. You think you can still put that song Crazy Town. It's over, dog. Nine years in. It's over. I've been years in. It's over. I've been trying to say it for years. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:08 I don't care how many times you play butterfly, we feel how we feel about it already. Yeah, I never liked it. I wake up, I'm like, David, give it one more chance. That's what happens. Listen while you're in your underwear. That's one of those songs that wouldn't even come on the TV. It'd be on a commercial.

Starting point is 00:12:24 And it's like, clearly, if y'all was rocking like that wouldn't even come on the TV. It'd be on a commercial. And it's like, clearly if y'all was rocking like that, you'd be on the countdown. Y'all put this song on a commercial because y'all gotta pay to sell it. And not under the table. The first guitar part is great. That down down down down down. Well, Kyle told me it's a.

Starting point is 00:12:41 And then they start the rest of the song. And then it sucks. Well, Kyle told me it's a chili pepper song. That the rest of the song. Yeah, and then it sucks. Well, Kyle told me it's a Chili Pepper song. That like instrumental is a Chili Pepper song. It is? That's what he said. Kyle knows more about, Kyle Kanane knows more about that stuff than I do.

Starting point is 00:12:52 So I'm assuming he's right. He a big crazy town guy? I think he's more of a Chili Pepper guy. Don't put that on him. He's a townie. Don't put that on him. He's a townie, is it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:02 Is that what came around? Kyle Kanane loves Crazy Town. Kyle Kanane loves Crazy Town. Kyle Kanane loves Crazy Town. There's the clip right there. That's crazy. If you see him, if you go to one of Kyle Kanane's shows, go up and talk to him about Crazy Town. You'll love it.

Starting point is 00:13:20 Bring him a Crazy Town record or a CD. Touch his back when you do it. Touch the small of his back when you do it. Touch the small of his back and tell him come my lady. All that name in the tracks after NWA songs, that's a friend. He really wishes it was crazy town. But he knew nobody would get it. He's on the Townie Reddit belt boards.

Starting point is 00:13:39 You know this fella with a C? I thought it would be a K. I thought it would be a K. I did know that. No, it I thought it would be a K. I thought it would be a K. I didn't know that. No, it felt like it should be a K. They're cut from the K-Club. They are cut from the K-Club. That's for sure.

Starting point is 00:13:56 You gonna get to the bottom of that chili pepper thing or what? Oh, you want me to Google it? Well, you don't have to. We'll talk while I do it. Okay, then the Scott Stapp thing. Did you know about okay that song? It's so hard to start. What's it? What's the song called sick? It's called one last breath or one more breath But it's the one where he's like six feet from the edge and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far gone

Starting point is 00:14:19 That you know, you know what? I bet if you heard another crazy This is what started the whole shit last night. Okay. Cause they were playing that. It is a red hot chili pepper sample. A song called Mother's Milk. And Kyle Canane is the one that told us that. So he was right about his crazy town.

Starting point is 00:14:33 Also a big red hot chili peppers fan. It's a big pepper guy. I kind of like the red hot chili pepper. We've talked about it. I don't one bit, but. Anybody that George Clinton stamp, I'm cool with. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:46 Their cover of Love Rollercoaster, it's fun. You know, my buddy used to think those. It's a fun time at the... It's about T.I. It's about Love Rollercoaster. Oh, no. The Creed song. Did you know that? This six feet is not that far is about T.I.?

Starting point is 00:15:02 So Scott Staff was about to jump, right? And T.I. stopped him. From where? Where about to jump, right? And TI stopped him. From where? Where was the hotel balcony? Yeah, probably a cocaine fueled party that Creed was having. And Scott Staff was about to- TI was down, it was happening man, you didn't need to do all that.

Starting point is 00:15:16 Bro, you gotta hear the TI breakdown? Because he was like, I was smoking with my fat friend Phil. On the balcony. And he was like, and I heard him moaning, and I asked Phil, what did you eat today? Cause I thought it was Phil's stomach rumbling. And it was Scott's death, two balconies up.

Starting point is 00:15:39 And G.I. was like, no, you have stuff to live for. Hey, don't you sing with arms wide open. Hey, bruh, you don't even need to do that right now, man. T.I. knows how it feels to be hanging on for dear life because his beanie always is. It's always just a precarious picture. Oh my God. His hat is like in the same spot.

Starting point is 00:16:00 Scott Stapp just barely hanging on for dear life. Not to run a bit back, but my first question was has T.I. written any songs about Scott Stapp just barely hanging on for dear life. Not to run a bit back, but my first question was, has TI written any songs about Scott Stapp back? Yeah, and you said, would he be alive? Is he the rubber band man? Yeah. You find out Scott Stapp's the rubber band man. Honestly, the fact that TI was able to, on the radio,

Starting point is 00:16:23 say, wow, this is the Taliban Taliban doesn't get talked to about. That is the more crazy line in that song. They were- It's in the chorus. Yeah. Rubberband man, wild as the Taliban. And like, we're still in Iraq at that point. Yeah, no, we had-

Starting point is 00:16:40 Like, the- We were in Iraq. They had been banning the Dixie chicks from the radio for criticizing George Bush. TI was talking about being crazy as the Taliban. Crazy as the Taliban. And then referencing two guns. They didn't blur any of it out, right?

Starting point is 00:16:54 Yeah, nine of them are right, 45 on my other hand. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That beat, the beat was too good. It was too good. You could have said anything. You could have said- I should have played rubber band man last night. That would have got him. No. What? Well, I wonder- I don't think You could have said anything. You could have said. You should have played rubber band man last night. That would have got him.

Starting point is 00:17:05 No. What? Well, I don't think you could have won. What the? Sorry to be crass. What the fuck was gonna get him? They were townies. We weren't, they didn't even like that we were in there.

Starting point is 00:17:14 You walking to the machine is already a like. I'm telling you. You better kill, that's pressure. I'm telling you. I don't think they noticed like that. I really don't. They were doing their own thing. It was a pack of like eight dudes and they were doing their own thing

Starting point is 00:17:26 I swear to God they didn't even look at the but they were loving the they were openly loving the Creed's they stood up I mean, that's why I thought I could do it cuz they were up and they're like singing it cuz it was with arms wide open Yeah, and they were just with arms water. They were really standing on their schools and crazy They were one of the guys had an American flag jumpsuit on it felt like a hostile environment did I feel like stained? I feel like you played some stained songs. What's the one that they have any upbeat songs? They just got they got mud shovel, dude But you played it Ian Carmel is a stained fan. Just so we're clear on that I was playing a lot of big crazy online and listening to KUFO radio So when that happened, which is Portland's,

Starting point is 00:18:05 it was an online computer game that I would play like eight hours a day. And I would listen to radio. And when you listen to enough radio, you get into some stained songs. Mud shovel. Mud shovel or just. Can't believe they got to say that on the radio.

Starting point is 00:18:16 I don't even know who stained is. No, that's what I'm saying. It's that guy, it's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. Remember that song? Okay, I've heard people make fun of it. Fred Durst got him on, they were like touring with the Biscuit a while. Remember that song? Oh, okay. I've heard people make fun of it.

Starting point is 00:18:25 Fred Durst got him on. They were like touring with the Pispy. I feel like that song was on a lot of now compilations. I think it was. Yeah. I mean, it hit for a minute, that song. If you would have played It's Been A While, that would have hit with those dudes.

Starting point is 00:18:34 It wasn't loud enough. What's it loud enough? I wish we could go there right now. We can't, it's only a gentleman's hour away. I don't want to. No, I don't have the most beats for anything. If we're the Creed hour away. I don't want to. No, I don't have a most to beat for anything. If we're the Creed ringing off, I don't need to catch them.

Starting point is 00:18:50 If Sublime doesn't break through, I have no chance of making a defense. It was, I was defeated for sure. Sean Jordan was defeated. He's Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Where can people see you bomb jukeboxes all over this great country? I don't even, when's this come out Isaac?

Starting point is 00:19:05 This week. This one does? This coming week. That was fun. Denver, I'll be in Denver on May 30th, do an Dude IDK and then I can't think of any other dates, but I got a lot of stuff in August and September. So, you know, stuff go to Instagram,

Starting point is 00:19:21 Sean Coogan, Mel and Jordan, it'll be on there. I don't know where to look, man. Do I look at the camera when I do that? If you want to look at Isaac, look into his deepel and Jordan. It'll be on there. I don't know where to look, man. Do I look at the camera when I do that? I feel weird. Well, wherever you want to look at, look into eyes and keep soulful eyes. Come to Denver. Come tell me crazy town wouldn't hit in the book. David Borey is here.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Cool Guy Joke 77 on Instagram. I hate crazy town. June 15th, I'm at Littlefield in Brooklyn. June 14th, I'm at The Secret Show in Sacramento. And June 13th, I'm in Petaluma. I don't know where though. Petaluma. There can't be too many places in Petaluma. Yeah, I think just look up Petaluma David Borey. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:54 No, there's a dude. That's a guy. Petaluma David. There's Petaluma David Borey. I know some people in Petaluma. They're gonna pull up on you. OK. OK. I appreciate it. Rob's people are coming. I know some people that got some stuff going in Petaluma. They might pull up on you. What do they have going in Petaluma?

Starting point is 00:20:13 Wineries? Just, yeah, living out there, I don't know. Yeah, gotta hook up on some stuff. You clearly don't wanna answer any follow-up questions about Rob. I did a one night in there before. Was it the cider place, one nighter? Maybe.

Starting point is 00:20:28 There used to be. Yeah, we did it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was great. We had like a bougie wine and cheese day. Either before or after, it was beautiful. After, yeah, it was after. Rob Haze is here. Come on.

Starting point is 00:20:42 At Rob Haze on Instagram. At Rob Haze is here. Come on. At Rob Hayes on Instagram. At Rob Hayes on Instagram. If you're in Vegas, May 23rd, come see Sherman Showcase live, House of Blues. Also, if you're in Norway, Oslo, check your boy out. I'm here, coming there for the Comedy Festival. Yeah, look out for it. Oslo.

Starting point is 00:21:02 Tight-knit. That's awesome. Have you been to Scandinavia before? I haven't done comedy outside of US and Canada before. How do you think, I did. Me either, it sounds, it seems scary. It is, I am a little terrified. I'm not gonna lie.

Starting point is 00:21:16 I've done London and I've done Paris, but it was like an expat show in Paris. It was all American. But London, it was weird. They, like they knew all the references, but they didn't quite know what it meant. Like if you say Taco Bell to an audience here, that comes loaded with meaning, right?

Starting point is 00:21:34 Yeah, you gotta call it the chimney there. Yeah, and when you say that, they're like, we are aware that Taco Bell is a place that you people go to, but they don't know what it means. They're not like, I was drinking, and I had enough to go to Taco Bell. They're not, they're like, well, what does that mean? They have no idea.

Starting point is 00:21:50 So that part's weird. Like all the cultural references kind of fall short. Right, right. And I feel like cultural references are ingrained in me. So yeah, I'm gonna have to- It's the same. You have like maybe the deepest wealth of knowledge I know about that. Right, right.

Starting point is 00:22:04 But I am, I am curious how that's gonna work out. But I think I'm gonna figure out a way to like not make any references and then maybe like near the end. Also, it's like a 6,000 seaters. So it's like, I don't know. God damn. Somebody, 6,000? somebody saw Family Matters. Yeah. Hopefully. Yeah, that's just, that's a good one.

Starting point is 00:22:29 One is a good one. 6,000, like you can go over to Chris. You mean nobody in the oversold, so Jaleel White just mean nothing to y'all? Well, hey, I'll just take the L, man. I'll just take the L. I ain't gonna double crazy town, y'all. I'ma get out of here.

Starting point is 00:22:41 And then Steve Aoki comes out and plays crazy town? You should find somebody who walks in both worlds I'm telling you, I'm gonna get out of here. And then Steve Aoki comes out and plays crazy town. You should find somebody who walks in both worlds and have a Norwegian cultural interpreter on stage with you. That would be funny. Where when you go Family Matters, they're like, oh, that's Redfield and Son.

Starting point is 00:22:59 You know, like they know. Redfield and Son. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Annoying neighbor. Yeah. Annoying neighbor. Yeah. Yeah. Annoying neighbor. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:09 Akto got very upset about people thinking he was nerd and introduced Stefan Erkel later on. Yeah. That's what happened with Jilio White, right? He was like, people think I'm Urkel. Yeah. I got to live in the world. Oh, Stefan Erkel had to be his idea.

Starting point is 00:23:23 Had to be. That was like season four. I need people to know what I'm like. That Yeah. I gotta live in the world. Oh, Stephon Arkell had to be his idea. Had to be. That was like season four. I need people to know what I'm like. That's really where you messed up. Because now you showed them, like you showed them who you are without glasses. Yeah. And now what role you gonna do after that?

Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah. Yeah. That's true. You shouldn't, you should've kept that in the tuck. Yeah. That was a move for a different project. That was, absolutely. Because then he started scrambling, then he's Bruce Lee, then he's a robot.

Starting point is 00:23:51 It should've been Jaleel White like you've never seen him before, like in a new project. Yeah, yeah. Rom-com. Yeah, right, like he's actually pretty good looking. People are like, oh, he's actually pretty good looking. What's the moral of Stefan Arkell? Oh, if you want to be cool, take this pill. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:09 And then if you want to get back normal, take this drink. Like that's just substance abuse right there. Yeah. To get a woman to love you, you have to step in this machine and change yourself. Get on them pills, man. Stop being a nerd and get on them pills, dog. That's why they made the transformation chamber,

Starting point is 00:24:26 because they were like, we love the idea, we love the creativity, but can this be a machine? It has to be a machine. Because this whole pill drink thing that y'all got going on. He's just tying his arm off. I'm gonna be Stefan Arkell, real quick. This is not good for the kids.

Starting point is 00:24:38 Tapping a vein. Yeah. Yeah. He just dumps it out right there. It's how cold I'm on pills. I can't be cool without my pills. I need my Stefan juice. That's not my pet.

Starting point is 00:24:53 He must have been, Julio White must have been in like season four, like contract negotiations where he's like, we're introducing. Well, cause at that point it was the Urkel show, right? Like it was the Urkel show, right? Like it was- Well, Reginald Vail Johnson's fighting for number one on the call sheet, right? That's impossible. So, well, he's the veteran actor

Starting point is 00:25:14 on some veteran actor stuff. And then also the lady that plays Harriet, they also- They're not a diva, no. Well, Mary Jo something. They are fighting for number one on the call sheet. So they are finding other ways to pay Jaleel White because he's the star.

Starting point is 00:25:32 So he's writing that episode, he's directing that episode. Also, all right, you number one on the call sheet, but Urkel's number two, Stefan's number three, cousin is number four, you know what I'm saying? Murdo Urkel's number three, cousin is number four. You know what I'm saying? Murdo Urkel's number five. Bruce Lee, you know what I'm saying? That's crazy.

Starting point is 00:25:50 It's like, you're number one. You're number one, but guess what? The rest of these checks going to Jahlil. Yeah. Whoa. Man, could you imagine being number five? Behind Bruce Lee? Behind Bruce Lee. Behind Bruce Lee.

Starting point is 00:26:06 That's where Harry ended up. That was me. The amp from Altoona was up higher? I like Faldo. Now we're just talking about the show. Oh yeah. I love Geraldo. Go to Oslo. Check out Rob Haze.

Starting point is 00:26:22 If we have any Auslandians? We're gonna try to get... If you're in Northern Europe, Check out Rob Hayes if we have any Auslandians. We're going to try to get if you're in northern Europe, get to Oslo. If you're in northern Europe and have seen Family Matters, we need you to get to Oslo. And that's you all use Scandinavia, Finland. Yeah. The Danish one. Yeah. Holland. Is that is that Scandinavia? Holland. Getting there. Close.

Starting point is 00:26:43 Yeah, you guys keep going. I definitely know the Scandinavian countries that you guys keep going. Denmark is, right? It's all the cross nations. It's Norway, Finland, Sweden are up here, and Denmark's up on the top. They all got the same flag, right? But there's water in between. I love when Ian do a map, like with his hands.

Starting point is 00:26:59 You're mapping it. Yeah. So there's Scandinavia, and this is Denmark Denmark and then over here. That's where your Holland is Yeah, and this is where it's sort of like this is where we're talking about like my Mosley Michelle honestly, this is where we're talking about like, Mont St. Michelle. Honestly, this is why we came back to video. You guys missed all the improv work.

Starting point is 00:27:32 And then this is bath in England over here, just across the chair. All right, okay. My name is Ian Carmel. At Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Blue Sky, at IK CoolJu on YouTube. My special just crossed 100,000 views on YouTube.

Starting point is 00:27:49 Thank you so much for watching it, that's crazy. That's crazy to me. Really, really appreciate everyone who watched it and spread the word. I'm doing shows in Portland at Kickstand, just running new material, those are all sold out. It's gonna be really fun. This guy's gonna be jumping on one of the shows.

Starting point is 00:28:04 Well, two of them in one night, right? Oh, two of them in one night, yeah. A lot of other fun local comedians, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be a fun time. Gonna be selling some posters, maybe even a t-shirt. We'll see, sping of t-shirts! We'll have NOLA merch there, by the way, if you wanna get any of this stuff,

Starting point is 00:28:17 what'll be at that show? We did print up some extra merch for the New Orleans Toledon Street Festival shows, knowing that people who couldn't make the festival would want some, we sold a ton and kind of dipped into it, but we still have some limited quantities left. Hit me in the DMs, we got bucket hats, and we got regular hats.

Starting point is 00:28:36 And regular hats. Coops. Coops. And shirts. And shirts. Hit me in the DMs and we'll figure it out. It's gonna be sick. That's it.

Starting point is 00:28:45 We could talk about cups. We could talk about coups. Coups. I'll, do you see E40 open the Golden State Valkyries game? No, but that's what I was channeling right there. That's what I think. Thank you for getting it. We could talk about E40.

Starting point is 00:29:02 We could, we could probably do that for a minute. But instead we're gonna fantasy draft really nice things that we can't afford? Yeah, best things we can't afford. Best things we can't afford. Best things we can't afford. The way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors.

Starting point is 00:29:17 How did you put your list together? It's nicest, best, dopest, whatever, like illest. Things we can't afford. Yeah, rich people shit. I mean people shit. Mm-hmm I do doesn't know Isaac's got his chest. She looks you look so good. This is a good cut to Isaac opportunity Yeah, I was gonna say that didn't come set up on that cute little tripod like that Yeah, I was gonna say that didn't come set up on that cute little tripod like that This is a chest height I'd be shocked if you could even see your face

Starting point is 00:29:49 You could move in on that chest Chain cam dude I was a titty boy later over that Chain cam is one of the Paloma guys We determine the order of the draft with a rollicking game of rock paper scissors Play between the three of you and we throw On shoot here we go Rock paper scissors shoot. Oh

Starting point is 00:30:09 Play again rock paper scissors shoot. Oh, no. Oh no again rock paper scissors shoot Fuck if you guys tie one more time, I'm gonna pick. Okay rock paper scissors shoot Okay. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh! No way. Looks like I get to determine the order of today's draft. That was wild. That was a good time.

Starting point is 00:30:29 Different ways too. All right, we're gonna go David, Rob, Sean, Ian. Okay. That's the order, hot corner. Like the hot corner. Cool. David, Rob, Sean, Ian is the order of today's draft. Oh shit.

Starting point is 00:30:43 I was hoping you'd miss it. I don't got a good one. I totally skipped over it. I'll do it. I mean, I had to go back to crazy. What's the serpentine draft? And what is that? That's a great question.

Starting point is 00:30:52 It was me scrambling to find something that would hit. So when crazy, it gave me recommended songs after crazy town. And I was going through it like left to right, back and forth, like which one of these will hit. And then that's how I got what I got. What else was on your list? For what? For songs? What's going to hit?

Starting point is 00:31:07 Well, I think I played Backstreet's back. I thought that would hit. That one did not. Why the fuck would that not work? I think the Creed Backstreet Venn diagram is you. I think I'm looking at it. I'm looking at these guys who are ironically liking Creed, Probably for real.

Starting point is 00:31:25 I don't care finding out that it wasn't ironic. That's what I think they did. So you went the irony, you kept hitting the irony button and they're like, oh, dudes making fun of us. Yeah, he's mocking, now you're mocking them. He's mocking us. I like Backstreet Boys, I like Sublime. I was making fun of them in Crazy Town.

Starting point is 00:31:40 I really wanted to prove a point. I really honestly was like, this is gonna hit. And when it didn't, I was bummed. How old were they? 25? See, no, the kids like Creed. So what should I have done then? But not Crazy Town.

Starting point is 00:31:53 No. They might not even know. They don't even know about Crazy Town. That could have been it. What would have hit them? And they're like, yo, this guy loves this song. He keeps playing it. That old guy keeps playing Crazy Town in our bar. He's not from here. We would have seen him. We never did a jukebox before. He don't. Yeah. That old guy keeps playing crazy town in our bar.

Starting point is 00:32:06 He's not from here. We would have seen him. We've never been to jukebox before. He don't even know. This is like highly frowned upon. That guy put $40 in the jukebox. I didn't even know it would take 20 seconds. They're looking at it like he must have

Starting point is 00:32:17 fought in Afghanistan or something. This song reminds me of the guys who didn't come home. They're daring each other. I tried to figure it other. That was it. I tried three doors down. That crazy town was in Paluja. We had an iPad shuffle with one song, bro. I just go over, I'm like, what do you want to hear then?

Starting point is 00:32:36 No, you reminded me though, I tried three doors down. What was the Army song? The song that was in all the commercials for the Army? If you're going three doors down, you gotta play Kryptonite. No. That's the one. What was the other song in the Army commercials? Well, see, if you went with the other one, that was in all the commercials for the army. You got to play kryptonite. No, that's the one. What was the other song in the army commercial? If you went with the other one, that was your mistake.

Starting point is 00:32:49 I think I can't remember. It was he had a tough run is what else I didn't do great. Yeah, it's it was it was it's maybe we find it. Maybe we go to the roost. It's tough to watch a friend go through that. I would because he was alone in it. Yeah, he was. We were I like the go through that. Because he was alone in it. He was, we were,

Starting point is 00:33:06 he stopped telling us, he stopped telling us and he just started going back silently. I put, no joke, I put forty dollars in that jukebox. But he didn't say that to us. Where on the Sean not having a good time scale was it? I was having a blast. Okay, okay, okay. I was getting pissed, but I was having a very good time.

Starting point is 00:33:25 Were you having a good time or were you pissed? I was pissed enough to tell- Were those happening concurrently? Here you go, you know me well enough. When was the last time you've seen me look at a woman and be like, stop it, you're bothering me? It's been a long time. That's how pissed I was.

Starting point is 00:33:38 Okay, so you were not having a good time. But I was still having, I was having a good time. He was, despite, it's just, it was like when you take somebody out after a breakup and it's like, yeah, I know you're going through your own shit and we're just happy that you're out here with us trying. I feel like being young broke up with me last night pretty hard. I'm like, oh, I don't get it at all. No, a real dagger to the heart.

Starting point is 00:33:58 Should have played Pink Pony Club, dude. You know, the hits. They would have ate that up. We're going to to David's first peck. The first. Having jukebox for Greg is crazy. I was not at... I've never walked away from a jukebox like it was a set. Like, if I would've hit him with this.

Starting point is 00:34:16 If I had it back. And then I would've got him rolling. Then I could've... I lost. You're in the car thinking about shit you should've done? Yeah. Oh, fuck! With your puppies just playing whatever you wanna hear in the car, you shit you should have done. Oh, fuck! With your pimpies just playing whatever you want to hear in the car.

Starting point is 00:34:26 You never bomb when you're by yourself in the car. You're by yourself in the whip. Silence. Just like, oh man, I could have, man, I just, dog, if I would have just known that... I'm just parked outside the bar. They open it up and I'm taking money from the register and putting it in there. Oh, man. Go to another bar and play Crazy Town just to get the feeling back?

Starting point is 00:34:52 I go to Shiftyshell Shock Park. You gotta get the touchstones out. Because then you could play at a place you're not even at. You could have had this whole city listening to Crazy Town. You could double down Crazy Town. For 40 bucks? You could double down Crazy Town tonight. What was the name of that place? Do it tonight. Can I do that?

Starting point is 00:35:06 I can play it from here? Yeah. They might've locked it down, but it used to be when the Touchtones app started, cause I would play stuff at the Waffle House at the crib all the time. Just like they need escape right now. I can feel it.

Starting point is 00:35:20 Boom. Yo that's so funny. You and the Waffle House cook started it. They! Yo, that's so funny. They just kicking it right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I gotta hit him. You gotta get off a business call, hold on. Hey, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. I gotta play Arrested Development. What do you mean there's no wifi on the flight? I need it right now. We're gonna get to David's first pick right after this short break.

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Starting point is 00:36:44 Doesn't get my back hurting all day. You know what I mean? It's just, it's just, look at this. Look at how easy I got my card. Uh oh, turns out I live here, turns out I got a debit card, turns out I can do whatever I want, and bam, your boy's got a little cash, no big deal. But yeah, it's just great.

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Starting point is 00:38:13 and tell them that all fantasy, everything's saying it. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, look at me. Look at me when I say this. Mental health awareness, it's growing, but it's still nowhere where we need it to be. It's the progress. We have tons of progress. 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey said they've avoided seeking mental health because essentially they're going to be embarrassed. And it's unfortunate that people feel like that. I know it's just part of the deal,

Starting point is 00:38:46 but it's a stigma that you need to help crush. If you're feeling like you wanna talk to somebody, if you feel like you need any help, you want someone to listen, you have things that you need to get off your chest, that is what BetterHelp is here for. Talk to somebody. You don't have to face it all alone.

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Starting point is 00:39:51 Obviously visit betterhelp.com slash All Fantasy to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash All Fantasy. And we're back, welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed, except of course for Rob Haze, you have a podcast. Yeah, I have two in a possible. You have two in a upcoming.

Starting point is 00:40:12 Yeah, yeah. Tell the people about your podcast. The inconsistent podcast with Rob Haze, it comes out when it's ready. Don't expect it on a specific day, cause you know, everyone in my life is against the podcast coming out on time. And then me and Jamel, we have the end season podcast,

Starting point is 00:40:33 we chronicle basketball gear, he tries to put me on soccer and I violently disapprove of it. And then very, very little baseball talk on there. And then look out for something, possibly Rob Hays, Mandel maybe, coming to your internets maybe. That's a dream team. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:58 The thing with Mandel is your maybe might be you teasing something that's definitely gonna happen or it might be a real maybe. And he knows way more than I do, but he doesn't know that. Yeah. He knows way more than I do how real things are gonna be,

Starting point is 00:41:16 but he's not in charge of that either. No. Yeah, yeah. No, force is beyond our control. David Borey, you have the first pick. God. Add avocado outside of California. Oh, you can't afford, you can afford that.

Starting point is 00:41:31 It always feels unreasonable. I'm not going to pay $3 to put avocado on a $7 sandwich. This is the first pick he's ever told me. I just won't do that. Before it happened. In California, it's great. Out, out, like, avocado in California, it's great. Out, out like avocado in Indiana. It's who am I?

Starting point is 00:41:49 So this is a mental hurdle that you can't get over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. You can't justify it. It was one of the best things about moving to California for me when I got here and how abundant the avocados are. What's your limit?

Starting point is 00:42:03 Like what's, what's your ceiling? How much you pay for avocado? $15 sandwich. How much would you pay to put avocado on it? $1.50. Okay. That's unreasonable. It's gotta be more than that. I feel like three is the avocado ceiling.

Starting point is 00:42:15 That's crazy though. You hear what you're saying? It's not that crazy, boy. Stop it. We know you got avocado money, dog. Absolutely have avocado money. Cause we were talking about this. I agree though that it's,

Starting point is 00:42:32 technically you can afford it, but you don't, you shouldn't have to pay that much. If I could afford it, I would be doing it. I look at it and I'm like, no. There are multiple forces at work here. One is outside of LA, sandwiches are cheaper in general. So that avocado price seems a little more striking. It's like you said, $3 on a $7 sandwich, that's crazy.

Starting point is 00:42:50 It's absurd. You'd be hard pressed to find a $7 sandwich in Los Angeles. Right, that's fair. So it's like a $15 sandwich, $3 avocado, it's a bargain. But I mean, it's still cheap in like Modesto I can get a California sandwich. Yeah, that's true. And you know, it's California wide.

Starting point is 00:43:04 It's California wide. You know it's gonna be And you know, it's California wide. It's California wide. You know it's gonna be good avocado here because in California you can't really step up to the plate with bad avocado. Yeah. Or at least it's a higher percentage I think it's gonna be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's amazing.

Starting point is 00:43:15 I'll pay four dollars for avocado in a single. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But do you do that? Because we've been all over the country. I've never seen you add avocado for shit. Or you. I hate avocado. Okay, that's fair. I don't like add avocado for shit. Or you. I hate avocado. Okay, that's fair.

Starting point is 00:43:26 I don't like guacamole. You don't like guacamole? I'm starting to not like you. Because of my avocado? Because of the tone. Well, fuck you. Fuck you. Well, fuck you.

Starting point is 00:43:38 I'll smash this mug over your head and keep the podcast going. Isaac, which camera is focused on Sean? Zoom in, dude. What was the name of that bar? Zoom in and slow it down. Somebody out there, tell me the name of that bar. I, where I like to add avocado isn't necessarily a sandwich, but it's with a, it's with a breakfast plate where you got the scrambled egg and then you got a meat and then you throw an avocado in there too and then you make your own little sort of breakfast sandwich with

Starting point is 00:44:01 your avocado egg. But you're doing that in Denver. Where that's peaceful. I might do that in Denver. Really? Yeah. I saw you eat a peanut butter and pickle sandwich the other day, in New Orleans. Big time. Big time. Finally saw it.

Starting point is 00:44:11 That is not at all relevant. No, but it's just a thing you've never seen. You're right, you're right. You said you've never seen him order avocado. You are right. You've never seen him do that. I have to do with anything. You've never seen him eat avocado.

Starting point is 00:44:24 I saw him eat a peanut butter and peanut butter machine. Is there green? I've seen some things, man. Yeah. I did. I went to it morning one, morning one, Sean was still asleep. I got up early.

Starting point is 00:44:38 I went to Bro Mart and I got a bunch of groceries because I was like, we're going to need some stuff that isn't gumbo. And then I like, we need to let, you need to lay down a, I bought apples, I bought some Pedialytes and I got some bread. Those Pedialytes were going like- Clutch. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:54 Anyway, yeah, sorry, that didn't have anything to do with it. So, add avocado, this is it, how much money per year do you think you would have to make to where you were comfortable, not even ask? Because- Seven figs What a year? Yeah Just it just feels too bad to me. It feels really terrible

Starting point is 00:45:16 And I think you're just covering up the price like yeah, I'll have the avocado. It sucks cuz I think about it I'm like man. I should just and then it's like you're crazy. What are you doing? Who do you think you are? This one I did I can't I can't get on board with you on this one listen I get it I just the end of the podcast I've a condo outside of Kelly the first pig is yeah, I wasn't expecting It's the first thing I thought about all right. It was the first money barrier. I thought all right I hope you get there. I think I will. Yeah, I think you will too. It's gonna be fucked up though. How you get there? I'm gonna have a sprig of it in my drink

Starting point is 00:45:51 like a lemon slice. Like, you're gonna know what I mean. Let me get a guacarita. Go order one. Bring me the bartender. Bring me the bartender then and I'll explain to him what a guacarita is. That's the next pick. It's the bartender.

Starting point is 00:46:13 You have tequila? You have guacamole? Then you can make a guacarita. There's no guacamole juice, is there? Or like avocado juice, sorry. If you get like store brand guacamole, there's water in there that you could pour off. Okay, like you could do like like cottage cheese water Gross holy buckets the water the burrata comes in burrata water a burrata water martini

Starting point is 00:46:35 I don't know a burrata burrata water Rob has it's time for your first pick at avocado outside of California is off the I'm going way crazier than an avocado, dog. I'm Jordan Pilford in this thing. I'm going with the Lamborghini Countach. Yeah, yeah. Like what are you talking about? Yeah, that's also good. The poster on every kid's wall.

Starting point is 00:46:57 Oh my God. Come on. That, what is the importance of higher learning or the benefits of higher learning? And it was like six Lamborghini Countaches on like a Malibu estate. Yeah, the picture of all the Jacksons with the Lambos, except for Michael got the Knight Rider car

Starting point is 00:47:11 because he flexing on them in other ways. Yeah. It's sort of a harbinger of things to come sort of way. Yeah, yeah. Come on, man. It's impractical. I watch YouTube videos of people reviewing the car and the things that they say are terrible.

Starting point is 00:47:29 They say it's not practical, it's noisy. Yeah, there's nowhere to put your drinks. It's like two inches off the ground. Yeah. I never thought about drinking in a Lamborghini. Freaking Jay Leno said, don't get it wet. He was like, it's a great car. He was like, you know, as long as you keep it running,

Starting point is 00:47:48 it will last, but don't get it wet. And that's the type of, that's the type of rich I wanna be where I get a car that is like, hey, this car, it's a great car, super fast, don't get it wet. Yeah. Yeah, it's a dry ride Waterproof right little fiat's pop out when you get it. We take it to linds and have them spray it with the the waterproofing spray Can you also stitch my name on the top? On my on my sports car? Please, yes. It's-

Starting point is 00:48:26 How much is a coontosh? Like 300 grand? Oh. Right now. Am I nuts? They, I think they go up and I think it's fluctuated cause I think they did go down. I think like maybe 10, 15 years ago, you could get one for maybe 90,000

Starting point is 00:48:42 just cause people were just so sick of them. And then like now that like they're more popular and like the cyber trucks got people like, I want a car without right angles. You know, so now the Countach is getting back popular, but yeah. They still make them every now and then. In 2022, you had to drop 2.5 million

Starting point is 00:49:04 for a brand new Lamborghini Countach. That's the new one though, right? That's new, yeah. But if you wanna go, like, we're talking 87, like. They did them for a long time. They did them in the 70s, they did them in the 80s. So there's a lot of, you know, I think up until like the early 90s.

Starting point is 00:49:21 So there's a lot of Countach's around. You know, your man Leo was out here on the Kweilus. That's the main Kuntosh. Yeah, jumping out the whip, you know. Kuntosh sounds like something that one of your older brother's friends would call- Vagina? Vagina. Yeah, oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:39 Try that when you go to Oslo. He says it like other people say it. Everybody knows Joey gets the Kuntash. Yeah. That's what I was saying. They might call it that in Oslo. Who knows? Okay, what Jay Leno says, I get that Kuntash wet.

Starting point is 00:49:52 You know what I'm saying? You feel me. I get the Kuntash wet. No, Jay Leno. Call me David Letterman because I get that Kuntash wet. You know what I'm saying? Could be in a future song. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, drunk last night, we talked about going half-star in El Camino. Well, where would you keep it? Was red? He had it there.

Starting point is 00:50:28 He's like, will you put seven grand each? Right. And I'm like, this has to be a conversation with my wife. And the answer is going to be no. Won't buy avocado. Three dollars. He had it. We'll buy whole. We'll go in on a whip on a will. Split a car with you. Pony wise and pound foolish.

Starting point is 00:50:48 I'm glad we didn't get there though. It was close. Where were you guys gonna keep the El Camino? We didn't get that far. I kept hammering it home. I don't have a driver's license. Laura, I gotta go off the El Cone Hill. I was like, Laura, we'll say no.

Starting point is 00:51:07 I'm telling you she's gonna say no. That's what he kept saying. I have to ask her. And I was like, we could just do it right now. Here's the question. What's the amount of money that you wouldn't have to run by your partner to? Five.

Starting point is 00:51:19 I'm not married. Yeah. Come on. Like, okay, take the walk with me. No, it's his money. He doesn't have to. Oh, but like in a situation. But let's say you were. Let's say you were married. Yeah. Come on, like, okay, take the walk with me. No, it's his money, he doesn't have to, oh, but like. But let's say you were, you know, let's say you were married. I'm comfortable $750 and below, pulling that trigger. I hit about 400, and it's not so much of an ask,

Starting point is 00:51:40 it's like, hey, I'm gonna spend this much on Oasis tickets. I just figured I should let you know. She's, cause she's gonna see what it is, and ask it's like, hey, I'm gonna spend this much on Oasis tickets. I just figured I should let you know. She's, well, cause she's gonna see what it is and ask. And if I'm not comfortable telling her that number without having run it past her, that's where that is. Like if I came home with a brand new, cause I'm in a vinyl. What does that count?

Starting point is 00:52:04 I'm a vinyl guy. I'm a vinyl guy now. If I came home with like a brand new record player and she was like, how much was that? And I wasn't prepared to tell her a number that she could then go Google? That's where we'd be running the dishes. But David's at seven grand. Yeah. We were close.

Starting point is 00:52:21 That was like, that would have been embarrassing. I would not have told her that happened. I'm a... I was just being... It was 30 bucks. Some guy gave it to us. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:52:31 Fans. They gave it to us. El Camino sponsoring. Yeah, we had an El Camino sponsor. Sean, your first pick. Holy buckets. A lake house. Where though?

Starting point is 00:52:42 Like, give me, take me on a walk, baby. That was so quick. Did you know I was gonna pick that? No, but I got, I got, I got similar stuff on my list. I want you to take me, paint me a picture. It's not a lake house, but. Well, okay. I don't wanna change the,

Starting point is 00:52:58 I don't wanna get into your pick now. Were you gonna? Lake house, you said lake house. I did, but I was gonna paint. No, you said lake house. I wrote it down. I'm thinking I mean, so my is going to sound weird. My wife's parents have a lake house.

Starting point is 00:53:10 So there you go. So I get to go to one. Do you stand to inherit it should something happen to them? It will be Laura and her. So like three or four people inherit it. OK, so that's kind of how it's been running. So you have to sort of bump them off before that happens. But isn't that how family trouble starts a lot? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:27 So, and now I'm not going to air him out. I haven't talked to my sister since we tried to split up the lake house type of thing. Exactly, right. They, yeah, so like right now, Laura's, there's three people that own it, I think. So there's like three families or whatever. So I just want my own lake house right next to it. I'm like, this one's dope, dude. But you still kind of own that one. So you can walk in. I'll go over next to it. I'm like, this one's dope, dude. But you still kinda own that one.

Starting point is 00:53:46 So you can walk in. I'll go over there and have, I'm across the lake. I'm doing across the lake shit. We did, I'm a Oregon boy. So lake house isn't as much of a thing in Oregon. They were a huge thing in the mid, I mean, like that's where you would vacation. You just go to like the lake and it just, the vibe is dope.

Starting point is 00:54:02 I mean, so if I'm painting a picture, obviously I want one like on the lake. Cause you get those lake houses that are like a block away or whatever. And that's not what I want. I want a dock. I want to, well, no, this, can I add stuff to it? Can I have a Coutreman?

Starting point is 00:54:14 I think you can have a Coutreman. I think it would be a nice picture of a lake house. I want a jet ski, I want a boat, I want a paddle boat. Like I want those all on the dock. And then just, I want a lake house that doesn't have a ton of bugs in it. That seems to be a big lake house thing. They always have like flies and stuff. I want a lake house that doesn't have a ton of bugs in it That seems to be a big lake house thing. They always have like flies and stuff. It's a nice clean lake house. Yeah, and

Starting point is 00:54:28 Nothing much a nice swing looking out like, you know sitting out by the lake so I can like chill Yeah, but none of them I don't know a specific lake cuz the ones I grew up around her trash but okay choby Okaboji it sounds just as dumb but Okachobe. Okaboji. It sounds just as dumb, but Okaboji. Okaboji would be kind of dank. That's like a party lake though. We did Dana's family. Oh, you don't want a party lake? You want to kind of a... I want a chilling lake. Yeah, I'm more like I'm you know. We did these northern Wisconsin because their families from Chicago.

Starting point is 00:54:59 So she's Midwestern and like we went to the Northwoods of Wisconsin last year. Like great outdoors type shit. It was amazing. I didn't know. You just like there are all these interconnected lakes. Some of them are party lakes and some of them are a little more like placid. Right. And you get there like a pontoon boat and just go from lake to lake. And there's like restaurants you can tie up at like at the dock and just walk up to them. That's what's great. The lake house that that Laura's parents have, it's it's three lakes.

Starting point is 00:55:24 And you just get on that paddle boat and you can kill like six hours just paddle boating around. You chill, like get to the middle of it. Like one of them, you can't see any people or houses or anything. Yeah. So you just by yourself. And like the no one gets out to that far lake. So you really just out there chilling. It's a blast. One of the lakes in Wisconsin was owned by a must have been a Wisconsin booster because they had like a lot of Barry Alvarez stuff.

Starting point is 00:55:47 They had like a flag with Barry Alvarez's face on. Who is Barry Alvarez? University of Wisconsin head coach in the 90s. Oh shoot, okay. Barry Alvarez. They had a flag. Was it below or above the American flag? It was alone on a pole.

Starting point is 00:56:01 No! Yeah. It was just, it was just Barry Alvarez. You put the pole in. Yeah, you were in international waters. That was a sovereign lake. They had to call somebody to put a pole in for Barry Alvarez. Yeah, just the Barry Alvarez pole.

Starting point is 00:56:16 Yeah. Or they took an American flag down. I imagine threw it in the lake and then raised the Barry Alvarez flag. It was beautiful. Oh, that's tight. Yeah, like us. All right, great Shot Sandra Bullock Time for my first and second picks I'm going to take something that recently came on the market that I don't have enough money for but What did I could the Portland Trailblazers? Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's, yeah. Save them. They need it.

Starting point is 00:56:47 Yeah. It was recently announced they were for sale. Phil Knight, who five years ago was like trying to buy the Blazers to the point that he was planting stories in the New York Times that they were for sale when they weren't for sale. And he came out and he's like, I'm 81. I don't want, he might be older than that now,

Starting point is 00:57:04 but he's like, I love the team, but I'm not interested in buying them anymore. So now. But when he was 76, he's like, I'm 81. I don't want, he might be older than that now, but he's like, I love the team, but I'm not interested in buying them anymore. So now. But when he was 76, he was all about it? Yeah, I don't know. Weird. Well, you tell me, dude. He's 87.

Starting point is 00:57:13 He's 87? Okay, yeah. 82, 87 is a big. Yeah, he's getting old. Yeah, he's getting old. He'll probably live until he's 100, but. How much is a basketball team? 500 million?

Starting point is 00:57:23 Five billion dollars. Five billion dollars? Yeah. Yeah, now. Yeah. Really? That's just a basketball team 500 million five billion dollars five billion dollars. Yeah. Yeah now yeah Yeah, really that's just a sports team. They're about five really that's the Blazers might go for a little less because it's a smaller market But you're still looking at like four billion probably you make money if you buy a sports So like if I if I buy them for five billion, do I make money or do I just now have a sports team? You make money when you get out. Yeah You gotta you gotta lose the money the whole time and then when you get out. Yeah. You kinda lose the money the whole time and then when you get out,

Starting point is 00:57:47 that's why they're five billion now. Is it an investment or is it like a status thing? It depends on when you bought in. Like if you bought in before Magic Johnson got there, then you just playing with the house money. Yeah, the Buss family could sell, they would have made like a thousand times their investment at this point if they wanted to sell the house money. Yeah, the Buss family could sell, they would have made like a thousand times their investment at this point,

Starting point is 00:58:06 if they wanted to sell the Lakers. I never really thought about that. That team would go for like $10 million. Okay. It's also you can tax wash in a big way, because sports teams, and they do, are built in such a way that you can claim a loss every single year.

Starting point is 00:58:20 And if your corporation owns the Blazers and these other things, you can then report a total loss because the Blazer, you can say, well, the Blazers didn't make enough money this year. And it's down. Okay. Yeah. We had to pay this little dog to balance on his thing. Yeah, the red dragon gets more expensive.

Starting point is 00:58:38 Red panda gets more expensive every year. Yeah. Yeah. Scoot, Scoot Henderson costs are through the roof right now. Okay, all right. So yeah, the Portland Trail Blazers. Yeah. It's a good situation. Obviously, I'm keeping them in Portland. Anyone's going to keep them in Portland, by the way.

Starting point is 00:58:53 They're not moving anywhere. Sorry for another dumb question. Can you, if you buy a team, can you move them wherever you want? The Sonics, baby. But you can do that or do you have to, what are the levels of approval that you got to do? You got to go through some hoops, but the hoops are not governments. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:06 Yeah. They're like other rich people, you know? It's not like millions of people who will be sad. Those aren't hoops at all. Yeah. It's you have to convince other rich guys and Adam Silver. Okay. So it could happen, but like the Blazers have a lease

Starting point is 00:59:23 they'd have to break and then you're just like throwing money into the toilet. And then the state, yeah okay. Yeah, by the Portland Trail Blazers. Wouldn't really change, I wouldn't change anything other than if I had the money to do that I would dump a ton of money into the team. You wouldn't put a Carmel jersey in the Raptors?

Starting point is 00:59:38 I would hang a Carmel jersey. I would hang a Carmel jersey. And I'd probably have like, I would hang a Carmel Jersey, and I'd probably have like a problem I would so The guy who owned it before I don't want to get too far into this had a suite That's still up there like a private apartment Paul Allen Oh, yeah, yeah up in the rafters of the like it's up there you I've been up in the rafters and you can see it

Starting point is 01:00:00 He's got like just a private place and I that would probably be my main place. I live What would you do is your house? That's like your apartment like yeah, yeah I would host people you know yeah, I'm a bitch when you had to go to the store that was why you know I like door to something I would play door. I'll be out tomorrow I would play NBA 2k up there during games and kind of look down and be like doing better for me For me Johnson, yeah during games and kind of look down and be like, going better for me. Going better for me, Chauncey. Yo. You put in your 2K on the jumbo trail with your legs.

Starting point is 01:00:33 Like cutting in. Half time! Half time is Ian Carmell! You just got your headset on. I don't let anyone, if you're here, you're here. Talking to the whole stadium. You go pissed during the third quarter. I'm starting to watch Clyde Rechsler give 92 Charles Barkland the work on 2K. That's my first pick. And then my second pick is Italian everything.

Starting point is 01:01:01 Wardrobe wise. I'm going, I'm getting like fully bespoke Brioni. I looked up like the best tailor in Italy. It's Brioni. They do bespoke stuff. That's the kind of place where if you want like a polo shirt, it's like $2,000, but I'm just having them build me an outfit like a full closet.

Starting point is 01:01:20 Like a whole wardrobe. Every outfit. Every kind of outfit I'm having. And then I'm talking like Florence, like Florentine shoes, like the leather work, the kind of place that Daniel Day-Lewis like went in like apprentice,

Starting point is 01:01:32 you know, when he wanted to be like a cobbler. Just everything top to bottom. So when I go to the closet, it's all, and it's all my size. Cause I can't find, I'm all torso. And then I still got this weird belly hang down. So like finding clothes that fit me perfectly is kind of a challenge. You gotta go out of the country for that.

Starting point is 01:01:50 You gotta go out of the country. You gotta go to a place that knows that body type. Italy. Mmm. Italy. So I'm going there, and I'm just having them build me like an outfit top down, and then that's just what I wear. Yeah, I like that.

Starting point is 01:02:04 That's what I wear from day to day. I like that a lot. Silks, linens, you know, all the fine fabrics. And now I have a relationship with this tailor. If I just need some new shit, he knows my size. I call him up, I'm like, I need some new shirts for spring. Right, you don't even need to be there. I don't even need to be there.

Starting point is 01:02:19 You're in your suite playing 2K. I'm about to stand up. Hey, I need, I need a Italian jersey. Do you have any moisture wicking silks? I need Italian jerseys. Do you have any moisture wicking silks? Make me a headband and a fucking short set real quick. I'm trying to trade Jeremy Grant without force trade on him. I'm having trouble.

Starting point is 01:02:36 You're calling the front office asking if your package arrived? I did get a custom Italian suit and I will say all the pants anxiety that I have was gone. Right? Yeah. You know, cause you know. Pants made for me, it's like, that's where it's at.

Starting point is 01:02:52 I can't overstate the pants anxiety I have in my life. Yeah. Cause I have a 30 inch inseam and I'm tall, I'm 6'3 and I have like 30 inch inseam. So my legs are weird proportions. They're thick. And then like I want some with a higher waist till it never works out.

Starting point is 01:03:10 My pants I always feel like look weird foreshadowing. And whoa, my computer just went purple. Apply all those crumbs. It did just go purple. That was nuts. And yeah, I have like, if I could get rid of all that, I have one, I have two bespoke could get rid of all that pain I have One I have to bespoke suits and they fit a main bit built for your tailored for your body. Okay type precisely, okay

Starting point is 01:03:39 One of them's Gucci the James Corden got me for my wedding. I don't wanna I don't want to like that like I already have this Gordon got it for me for my wedding. You don't need to be drafting, you already did. I already got it. The blazer's on the way, clearly. Look out Deandre Ayton. You're gonna be in Laker Gold no time. Order the Clippers, we can trade them to the Clippers. Sure, we'd love them. Would you love Deandre Ayton?

Starting point is 01:03:58 I mean. If you get to keep Zubox. If we can keep Zubox and he's coming off the bench. Oh that's actually true. Absolutely. So, yeah, Italian everything. That's my pick. Sean Jordan, number your second pick. I want a screening room, like a big full on movie theater ass screening room, like like a wing of the house.

Starting point is 01:04:16 I don't want a room that has a pretty big TV and a couple chairs. And I call that my screening room. That's probably what I'm going to end up having in my life. But I want like a shut the door. No daylight. It's, you know, like floor lighting, you know, like a movie theater, but a tiny movie theater in my crib. Yeah. Maybe even a secret door to get there, dude. Like a like a bookshelf or like there's my DVD collection or whatever. And you pull out the part and all of a sudden you're in a movie theater.

Starting point is 01:04:43 Corden had a little something like that. Where it was like down a little staircase in his house and you would go down there and there was just like, probably like three rows of four seats each. You know, it wasn't huge. Like you're in a movie theater. Yeah, like you're in a movie theater. And a screen like, not as big as a movie screen,

Starting point is 01:04:59 but like, you know, a wall. The whole wall is a screen and it's like screen type. It's not like a TV type. It's like a movie screen. What movie posters? That's the crucial question. I think we... You don't wanna know, man.

Starting point is 01:05:12 It ain't gonna be like Casa Blanca and shit. It's gonna be Goodfellas. I think it's probably Toonstone. Obviously. Ghostbusters 2. Ghostbusters 2. And a picture of Rob doing Ghostbusters 2 Bobby Brown talking to him.

Starting point is 01:05:23 We got, we got, got it, we got it, we got it. Man, it was so painful, man. When you realized that you were beefing it, did you go in and you're like, fuck you, I'm just gonna do it? Before the song playing, I'm doing the dance, I'm doing the heart and soul, I'm out here like, yeah, like I'm thinking thinking it's Halloween.

Starting point is 01:05:45 Yeah. Hey, you don't have to sell me. When I was like seven or whatever that movie came out of, I already liked Bobby Brown. That song is amazing. I would love to see you do it in karaoke. Man, I gotta do it in front of people who can appreciate it. Yeah, we have to do a karaoke redemption.

Starting point is 01:05:59 We should have a karaoke redemption. I would have, yeah, High Fidelity, Tombstone. I probably have that Joker poster up, the Why So Serious, just for fun. Lost Boys, yeah, Goodfellas, The Departed. Would you have some Plan Hollywood memorabilia? Would you have the Lost Boys saxophone, like in a case? Will you do me a solid sit?

Starting point is 01:06:20 I hate to make you do this. Can I guess how much that would go for? I'm gonna say 50 grand. If I'm in this world, I'd spend 50 grand on that easily. The saxophone from Lost Boys. I wonder if it's for sale. God, that dude's still touring. He's probably still got it, Tim Capello.

Starting point is 01:06:34 He's probably still got it. That's... Assuming that it's just Googleable is... I saw the first hit and I'm like, sorry for even asking. It's not. It's not for asking. It's not for sale. It's not for sale. Let me see if he's on, Tim Capello is on Instagram though. Cause then.

Starting point is 01:06:50 He's got a. Are you gonna slide in? Yeah. Just ask him real quick. Hey man, I represent. Go be my guy. An incredibly wealthy client who values his privacy. Who's interested in one night alone with you.

Starting point is 01:07:07 His mom notoriously values a wet man, and so he's been a fan of you since he was seven years old. Yeah, dude, I just have a dope movie theater. I've always wanted, it's like my big dream. I think if a lot of things go the way I want them to, I think within reason I could get a version of that. Screening room is in play. But I don't want them to. I think within reason I could get a version of that. Screening room is in play. But I don't want it to be whack. Like I want, if I'm like, hey,

Starting point is 01:07:29 come over to my screening room. I want people to get there and be like damn bro. You don't want Laura to have to pull her car out of the garage? Yeah dude, I don't want them to come in and be like, is it past the TV? Like where's the screening room? Right.

Starting point is 01:07:38 What are we doing in here? Are you popping your own popcorn? Oh. Sure. Like an old timey machine? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it would be so sick to have like an actual mini concession stand. Like you walk in there. You want a lobby.

Starting point is 01:07:53 Like you walk into a lobby. Bro, but like a fake one. So you walk in and you're like, go behind the counter, you know, pick what you want. You know what I mean? Everything's, it's on the house. Or I charge people for it. Red Vines that have been there since 2004. Nobody likes them.

Starting point is 01:08:06 Yeah. I wonder how often you gotta switch out the juice boxes to get the Coca-Cola to freestyle. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's tough, because it's so many boxes now. There's so much going on with the freestyle. And you gotta wipe it down.

Starting point is 01:08:20 Wait a minute, can I have a remix machine in my... Well. Oh no, no, no, sorry, shit. You could make another pack if you want. No, sorry, sorry, sorry, no, I won't. Yeah, sorry, that is a bold, can I have a remix machine in my well, no, no, no, sorry shit another pick. No, sorry Sorry, sorry. No, I won't. Yeah. Sorry. That is a bold. You're right. Also. What if I got a koon tush in there? I got Lamborghini seats, baby You want to watch koon tush on your private? Laura I'm gonna go watch a koon tush movie

Starting point is 01:08:38 Did you guys know I found out a fact recently that was startling that red vines and Twizzlers are like Coastal things like West Coast red vines is West Coast and like Twizzlers is like more of an East Coast licorice. This sounds like a East Coast rumor It was a it was a like a rumor that the East Coast got started Apparently they don't know about red vines on the East Coast like that's like foreign to them They're like, no, that's ridiculous. We we Twizzlers. We know about red vines on the East Coast. Like that's like foreign to them. They're like, no, that's ridiculous. We eat Twizzlers. We know about red vines. We know about them.

Starting point is 01:09:08 We just don't rock with them like that. But are you a Twizzler Coast? And is the South, is that its own thing? I don't know if the South is like- I think it's its own licorice region. I think it's its own licorice region. Yeah, I think you got your- All right.

Starting point is 01:09:19 Nubs? We do things a little different, Darius. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We're not in such a hurry. You guys might have your own thing. But yeah, apparently, my wife who's from Chicago is like, oh yeah, we didn't even know about red vines growing up.

Starting point is 01:09:40 It was all twizzlers. That's wild. Can I hit you with another candy fact? Swedish fish, Sour Patch Kids, same thing. One of them just has sour stuff on it. Is that true? No, man. I don't think that's true.

Starting point is 01:09:51 Fish and kids are not the same. No. What's a child? Hey, all of you. What is he talking about? Dolphins and sharks. I'm already insecure. I'm in a texture situation.

Starting point is 01:09:59 Isaac, do you have the capability of looking that up? Is it so the Sour Patch Kids are from Sweden? You're asking people to Google stuff It can't really be Google Which is a wild way to be Google Okay, i'll google it. I think the patch is in Sweden. Can't we just accept something I said so I don't feel stupid For Swedish fish and sour patch kids the same thing. It probably doesn't even auto-populate. They don't even make yellow Swedish fish They're invented by the same company. The only difference

Starting point is 01:10:25 Okay Doesn't even auto-populate. They don't even make yellow Swedish beans. They're invented by the same company. The only difference... Okay! The only difference... Just jerk it off now. ...is the tartaric acid. The acid is the sour. That's what it says. That's the sour. That's the difference, though.

Starting point is 01:10:33 Did I not just say that's the only difference? Hit him with another crazy town, Sean. Go crazy. I will leave. Play his fucking theme music. Are you gonna play it? I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it.

Starting point is 01:10:41 I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I will leave. Play his fucking theme music. Are you gonna play it? And that's as much as we can get away with. And that's as much as we can get away with.

Starting point is 01:10:55 That's as much as we can get away with. Well, we don't even know if that's a chili pepper. That's why the country music episode is down, by the way. In case, if you ever notice that in the episode, music oriented one has been pulled. Because somebody got a letter. Speaking of Swedish people, you know? Speaking of Swedish people.

Starting point is 01:11:13 Placed on my old employers. You're on board dude. You're on board so far. That's about Reba McIntyre music rights. Oh man, thank God I was right about that. Hell yeah Sean. Rod, time for your second pick. All right man, I'm reclaiming something that has been tainted. I'm getting about that. Hell yeah, Sean. Rob, time for your second pick. All right, man, I'm reclaiming something

Starting point is 01:11:25 that has been tainted. I'm getting an island. Adults only on my island. No children on my island. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people been irresponsible with their islands, you know, doing a lot of goofy stuff with their island. Hey, no kids on my island, point blank, period. Adults only island. Grown folks island. Grown folks island. Hey, no kids on my island, point blank period.

Starting point is 01:11:45 Adults only island. Grown folks island. Grown folks island. Not even 18, like 23, right? Like we gotta go. Right, like have my age plus seven island. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:57 Yeah. Whatever that is at the time. That's what it says on Google Maps? Yeah, yeah, yeah. After I'm the age plus seven island. If you wanna cusp, you know, hey, good luck. Sorry. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:07 Maybe in a couple years, but yeah. Where am I at with that? 20, 27. Yeah, that feels right. I'm at age plus seven, actually kind of feels right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 28 and up for me.

Starting point is 01:12:18 Yeah. I'm at, I'm at, hmm. I can't. What the fuck? 26? 26. I had to, I had to, I'm uh, hmm. I did. I did. I did. 26? 26. I had to, I'm sorry. I just had a birthday.

Starting point is 01:12:30 I just had a birthday. Yeah you did. Yeah I'm at 25, I'm at 25. 25 in Elba Island for sure. That feels right. We're just all here doing divorce guy math. Rent a car place, you don't even gotta worry about it. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 01:12:41 Everybody can rent a car, no extra fees. That's Rent-A-Car fees. Let me ask you this. Now obviously you will have helicopter access to this island because this is your island. But people who are visiting, do you want them to have to do the boat pull up? You know, where they get the dock or are you letting them come in helicopter too?

Starting point is 01:12:59 What's the disadvantages, advantages of the dock versus the helicopter? I think the boat ride would be more fun. I think it depends on where the island is. I think there's something powerful What's the disadvantages, advantages of the dock versus the helicopter? I think the boat ride would be more fun. I think it depends on where the island is. I think there's something powerful about making people come to your island on a boat. I got to. The boat ride would be fun though.

Starting point is 01:13:12 But I can't swim. Right, well you got the helicopter. You're not going to swim. You're not going to swim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't escort the, you're like, come to my island, you'll already be there. Or you won't be there. You come in on the helicopter right around dinner time.

Starting point is 01:13:26 Yeah, or a submarine. They've been getting set up by your staff. You know, they spend their afternoon by the pool. Rob cordially invites you to a sushi dinner. Yeah, Mr. Hayes is running a little late. We apologize. I like that. You come in like Leonardo DiCaprio,

Starting point is 01:13:42 great Gatsby in the hot air balloon. Maybe it's a hot air balloon. You descend. Let's go. The island gotta have a casino on some James Bond stuff. For sure. Yeah, they gotta play Baccarat. Yeah, yeah, we definitely playing Baccarat on the island.

Starting point is 01:13:56 Those big placards, not chips. You know, they throw those big placards around like in Monte Carlo. I'll tell you this, I went to, we were in the south of France and I went to Monte Carlo also went there Weird it is weird. It's like a small town. Yeah, it's just for it's like they got super cars Yeah, it's not even you're not even supposed to go there if you're not The dope shit about you can go there, but it's not it's not for you

Starting point is 01:14:21 I thought there were gonna be a couple things for me me No, there was nothing for you. It was nothing to the point where I was like, oh, it's it's whack here But I don't think but I think like you don't know anybody you don't know anybody Nothing looks open because I think it's all just the kind of people who call and then like it's completely it's it's barely It's barely public. It's barely public. It's barely public Like, you know where it is, but you don't know where it is. You don't know where to go eat in Monte Carlo. Cannes was also full-blown just Euro trash when I was there, dude. Like, hard Euro trash in Cannes. Can I say what I learned about the South of France?

Starting point is 01:14:56 Euro trash is kind of fun. Oh, it's fun! That's a fun group of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are a fun group of people, but it was just like, oh, it's not classy here even a little bit. No, and also in the south of France, I saw an American bar, and it said,

Starting point is 01:15:10 bang, bang, American food nonstop. Laughter It was so awesome. Bang, bang, like two consecutive meals. Not even like, oh, y'all shoot guns. Laughter It was crazy. Crazy town probably hid in there. Yeah, crazy town.

Starting point is 01:15:32 Mike Green hamburger situation. I think I got a picture of it somewhere. Yeah. American, a bang bang American food nonstop. And like red letters, like big red letters is so funny. That's tight. They got blood pressure cuffs at the table. Yeah, it was like that heart attack grill, but in Nice, France.

Starting point is 01:15:53 Man, in retrospect, the heart attack grill is kind of fucked up. I don't know what you're talking about. I think it's only if you have a chance of winning. Yeah, the heart attack grill, like it's in Vegas, if you weigh over a certain amount of winning. Yeah. The Heart Attack Relic, it's in Vegas. If you weigh over a certain amount, it's free. Oh, what? No, I didn't.

Starting point is 01:16:09 No, I never heard of that. Although maybe it's the most honest restaurant in the world. Let's take another break. Hey, we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy. Everything already in progress. I've called my rabbi. I'm doing better.

Starting point is 01:16:22 David, it's time for your second and third picks. Original art. Oh. already in progress. I've called my rabbi, I'm doing better. David, it's time for your second and third picks. Original art. Oh! But like, I want the Venus de Milo just at the crib. Okay, yeah. Like, I remember- You mean art you can't get, like nobody can get.

Starting point is 01:16:37 I remember just thinking that at the Louvre, like man, it would be crazy if this, this is the size it could be in my house. Yeah. Oh, you talking about like that painting that's on the other side of the wall of the Mona Lisa? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just like all over the wall, like gigantic. They got so much stuff at the Louvre that I'm like, they could let me have one of those.

Starting point is 01:16:56 Yeah, I got lost for a second. I feel like there was a lot of stuff they would not notice if it was gone. It looks just like the other one. It does. Louvre a little too big. It is a little too big. It is. A little too big. Yeah. Yeah. Am I the only one. It does move a little too big. It is a little too big It is to be yeah. Yeah How are the only one who hasn't been to the Louvre? Yeah

Starting point is 01:17:11 Yeah, I know you know I have not been You have other business in Paris when you You've never been to He's been to the Louvre. Never been to France. You're one of the most been to France ass dudes I know. I love wine. I love food. Look at your shirt right now.

Starting point is 01:17:28 You put on a jacket, but you didn't even button up your shirt. You look like you just flew in from France to do this. I do kinda, yeah. All right, well good for you. Hey man. We might not get you back if you go visit. That's true. That's true. Yeah. That's true.

Starting point is 01:17:39 Yeah. Thanks for saving me. Do you have any, would you, now would you dabble in new art? Would you become one of those like- Old world. Old world exclusively. Fallen Empire art, sculptures specifically is what seems like it would be crazy. To just have David.

Starting point is 01:17:54 Oh, I got David downstairs. I'm David and I have David. Lifting some shorts on David would be kind of sick. That would be crazy. Champs sports potty. Like I got David, cover him up, make him decent. Put some drawers on David. David's wearing Vancouver Grizzlies throwback shorts.

Starting point is 01:18:11 He's dressed like me. You come downstairs and it's me and him. Yo, boy put a fitted on David, that's crazy. Hey, hey, that's how you walk into the party. It's me and David say. Oh. I gotta fly to New York to talk to Ralph Lauren directly. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:18:39 David statue sizes. Custom statue. Cause they gotta put it on them like Have you guys seen the Davidon person? Startling, startling. Yeah, it's so big. It feels like seeing a celebrity. Not really, when we went to Sunday school, not who I was really imagining.

Starting point is 01:18:58 You know, I never imagined that I would see a celebrity. I never imagined that I would see a celebrity. I never imagined that I would see a celebrity. I never imagined that I would see a celebrity. I never imagined that feels like seeing a celebrity. Not really, when we went to Sunday school, not who I was really imagining. Uh-uh, no. You know, I never really thought, like I don't know if they described him like that, but I never really saw David.

Starting point is 01:19:16 First of all, I never imagined David naked. No, no. Hold on. Hold on. Is the statue of David the David from David and Goliath? Yeah, but if you continue reading the Bible, he grows up and becomes a king and like, there's other stuff. King David. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:30 I did not know that. That's the origin. He just starts off knocking off giants, but then he got other stuff after that. Yeah, that was the further adventures of David. This is how you get started to be a Christian. Yeah, this is crazy. I've read the Bible.

Starting point is 01:19:43 We had to read it for a CCD. I read the whole thing and I don't remember any of that you know if you like King David so much that you don't feel Any need to go beyond that? That's how we get Sean to become a Jew My vote is for sale so whoever wants to push harder He's out of Baptist Church, he's heggling, yo more Old Testament. Yo screw this Jesus, yo get back to the David, B.

Starting point is 01:20:12 Play the hits, play the fucking hits. That's a fun version of me. He's a, David's a hot boy. The one, the one Michelangelo. He hit his bad dude right there. He knocked off, David's a hot boy. The one, the one Michelangelo. I'm gonna get his bad news right now. He knocked off a giant, he got juice. And he's kinda like sexy leaning, you know? He's like a very, he's in a very sexy pose.

Starting point is 01:20:32 And they make his hands gigantic. We had a statue of David replica in Sioux Falls. Yeah, that's a weird place for it. So, Renaissance David is a hot boy. So, Renaissance David is a hot boy. Baroque David is more of a like, like a little boy. That's more David Goliath. He got the rocks in his hand. He looked like so that's yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:56 So the Baroque is like later on, they like, nah, David, David a little, you know, you're a little guy. Yeah. To emphasize the difference between him. Baroque David, I remember him. That's the guy who took the wing off that other guy's... I was gonna say, you also used to be pretty Baroque. That Baroque.

Starting point is 01:21:19 I do love the piano. Yeah. Very Baroque instrument, Sean. I know what Baroque means. Very Baroque instrument, Sean. I know what Baroque means. Don't worry. I'm not looking at it. I wouldn't stop you. We're having a good time. Excellent. Original art is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Your third bit is great.

Starting point is 01:21:36 I know you could grab a whole category. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I had to come out from the avocado thing that I thought really everybody was doing. Oh shit. That was, boy, we're really. I'm still, I'm still shook. Yeah. If you notice, I've really been pulling the background. It got my confidence.

Starting point is 01:21:54 I think you're doing great. You spoke from the heart. It's like it started because I only had these shorts. And then this is what I felt like last night. I'll get you some shorts. No, man, it's fucking fine. You're some Adidas shorts. I'll get you some shorts. No, man's fucking fine You're like some Adidas short. I wanna I wanna Fucking wear a nice new balance and Adidas right now. Oh, wait, were we on?

Starting point is 01:22:12 on camera, oh Was we were going I was looking down I was like, oh I'm in a gear crisis Back in the day that was an issue Every time I do a deal crisis. Back in the day, that was an issue. Piper Tray for example was crazy. Yeah. That's an issue to me. I can't do it.

Starting point is 01:22:29 I feel like it's a loose end. I love it now. Now the kids have, oh I got them same damn. Oh yeah. They're beautiful. Yeah. They did well in New York. I'm like, this travel well gum bottle.

Starting point is 01:22:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really high. And they were cheaper than I thought they would be. I have those first ones. I wonder what the BAPEAPE teams. Well your pick I Want to fund a blockbuster Hollywood propaganda movie? Oh, okay So like you put all the stars in it and it's but it's my

Starting point is 01:22:58 Politics because I'm getting it paid. Yeah, like when you hear movies backed by like some kind of a crate I want that we're talking like a Passion of the Christ level situation. Don't look up. Yeah. Yeah. Don't look up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want my own, but whatever my shit is. What is your agenda? Man. I think it'd be smaller stuff than you would think. Okay, yeah. The coolest. Yeah. The sonics back to Seattle. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:30 Just like light stuff. Fahrenheit avocado. The whole backstory. It's just kind of Roadhouse, but he mostly beats up people who charge you extra for avocado. Just Mr. Avocado. He executes one person a day in the warehouse no matter what. You guys hear the new Scorsese DiCaprio pictures

Starting point is 01:23:50 about how avocado costs too much? That's exactly what I'm talking about. That's exactly the situation. Martin Scorsese in the interview just like, I just, you know, I went to get a sandwich and I didn't recognize the country that I fell in love with in the 1970s. I looked around and I said, this isn't America anymore.

Starting point is 01:24:08 I talked to Leo, I called Leo up and we decided we were gonna make this picture. And then I'm standing in the shadows. Yeah. Yeah. Shit. Yes, Martin. Martin.

Starting point is 01:24:18 Just like that. You call him Martha? Yes. Martha. I just wanna have the calls, you know what I mean? And I wanna, it's gonna be a crazy, it's gonna be like, I feel like it would be like a Shine biopic

Starting point is 01:24:32 is maybe how it starts. Okay, sure. Something weird like that. Okay, that's good. But that's almost just more of a, people don't realize how crazy Shine's life got. That, yeah, that too. And was before too, right?

Starting point is 01:24:42 What happened with Shine? He's the... Well, first you gotta show him as a kid with Biggie's voice. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah! You have to start there! Oh yeah, but he's just like... But he's a Belizean immigrant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:56 You're disgusting. Yeah. You gotta see him getting a cold that he has for the rest of his life. Yeah. There's the call to Barrington Levy to get on the song. And then the whole club incident and then his rise to Belizean politics. Right.

Starting point is 01:25:12 And then somewhere in there he becomes... Oh, the Judaism. Yeah. The Hasidic Jew. Yeah. Did he go... He's not a black Israelite. He's like converted to...

Starting point is 01:25:20 No, he was like in Israel. Yeah. Yeah, he really did it. Interesting. Man, what a weird life. He's not a black Israelite, is he? He's like, converted to- He was like in Israel. Yeah. Yeah, he really did it. Interesting. Man, what a weird life.

Starting point is 01:25:30 No, it's really, it really is not that long. No. Of like the span of time of those things happening. To go through and live that many different lives. Yeah, it's really not a long time. He got to do the scene where he calls into the Usher album, the remix to, was that Confessions or whatever?

Starting point is 01:25:48 No, I don't know. What are you talking about? I don't know either. There's the Usher Confessions Deluxe. Part two remix. Where Shine does the feature, cause everybody's like, oh, this is the biggest album ever. Who's gonna do the feature?

Starting point is 01:26:01 And then they're like, so and so correction facility, do you accept the charges? Usher's like, haha, yeah man, I accept the charges. Yeah. Shy raps over the phone. That's the opening scene. Whoa! That's the opening scene. And then you go backwards.

Starting point is 01:26:20 That's the opening scene. And then you go backwards from there. I'm gonna make a billion dollars! Sitting in my cell, head about to burst, wouldn't be alive if I didn't shoot first. Had it made, sorry for the ricochet, but I'd be in the grave if I didn't let it spray. And we're doing the whole thing of his life.

Starting point is 01:26:36 On the ice share album! On the side of him shooting at people! On the ice share album! On the ice share album! While that's happening, he comes from Belize on a boat. Diddy hands him a gun like man. Yeah, make the movie, make the movie. And I'd like to just be doing that a lot.

Starting point is 01:26:54 Subpick, having Barrington Levy follow you around and just sort of sing what you just said would also be an excellent use of money. Yeah. I don't even know how to start this riff. $3 for avocado? Avocado! Avocado!

Starting point is 01:27:17 It's just different him doing that. This is avocado. Avocado's too much. Avocado on the corner, because I'm dangerous. Went to Chipotle. Kado! Me too! $17 BLT at Avocado. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:46 Man. I'm going to give you that one. Sometimes I laugh so hard I lose the plot. Yeah. Rob, time for your third pick. My third pick, you're not the only one that's buying a franchise. I'm getting a Popeyes.

Starting point is 01:28:13 Oh yeah. I'm getting a Popeyes. Now when you see me at Popeyes, you see me eating a Popeyes sandwich, you can't cancel me because I own a Popeyes. Yeah, that's a write off. Now I can talk to you about financial literacy and whatnot. It's quality control you're doing now. Why would somebody cancel you for eating that?

Starting point is 01:28:31 Yeah, what Popeye's do? You know, every now and then, you just can't be out here eating chicken like that on the street, but if you own a Popeye's, it's a different story. You don't want a picture of you just like coming out of a CVS. I understand, I understand now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, my Popeyes gonna have a drive-through. I don't know what the strings about LA Popeyes

Starting point is 01:28:54 that don't always have drive-throughs. You got to get out your car and like, you know, expose yourself to the world just to get Popeyes. And Glendale, the one we lived next to for years, did not have a drive-through. That is true. Yeah. to get out your car and like you know expose yourself to the world just to get Popeyes. And Glendale, the one we lived next to for years, did not have a drive-through. That is true. That's my Popeye.

Starting point is 01:29:11 That's the one. I did hate going in there. Could you? The biscuits are a little salty sometimes, right? Are they a little too salty or did I just have a couple bad Popeyes biscuit experiences? They're notoriously not made for human consumption. They are. But that's kind of part of the fun.

Starting point is 01:29:30 It's figuring out how much honey and stuff to doctor it up to make it like edible. They aren't street legal. You cut it with that strawberry soda. Yeah. You do, you need to get them wet in your mouth. Like you need to start the digestive process early on a Popeye's biscuit is what I've found. You know what's heartbreaking? You know Dinah's Fried Chicken in Glendale,

Starting point is 01:29:50 if you've ever driven by that? It's been open since like 1964 or whatever. I never went for the longest time. Finally, and every time I drive by, I'm like, it must be great. It's been open forever. Finally got it. Real mediocre.

Starting point is 01:30:04 Real, like not even interesting. It's been open forever. Finally got it. Real mediocre. Oh. Real, like not even interesting. It's just a good sign. I have a friend that used to live around the corner. He told me it was incredible. No. And, but I always question dude's taste. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 01:30:20 It's not good. Yeah, yeah. It's not good. He's always like off the beaten path, like one of those like, you know, like whatever it is, it's always like, man, how did you get there? Yeah. Right. And Dinah's, I understand you want, like it's been open since the sixties,

Starting point is 01:30:35 so you want to be like, you want it to be good. Right. You really go in wanting it to be amazing. First of all, tiny sides. When- Tiny. Frustrating. When you read up on Glendale in the 60s though, it will give you an indication on who was keeping it open. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:30:50 It was a sundown, you know, like yeah, the seasonings was, had to get out of Glendale. Before it does. Before it does. Glendale's still. Hit the road, Paprika. Yeah. We don't like those over here.

Starting point is 01:31:06 Over to Eagle Rock. We don't like your kind on the spice rack. Yeah, yeah. It's still kind of, when you get to Glendale and you're like, where are all the homeless people? It still is a pretty questionable. Well, those, they'll tell you, Uber drivers will tell you all the time,

Starting point is 01:31:20 they're like, the cops just move them right over to Eagle Rock. Like, right across the bridge. Yeah, it's wild. It's weird, man. Glendale's weird. It is weird. You can get some really good chicken in Glendale Yeah, just not fried chicken. Yeah, they got the first Panda Express Of course, thank you the first Panda Express a lot of those just those Armenian places are great Panda Express in the Glendale Galleria. Yeah the Panda in We've talked about this so the Panda in is the, like, dine-in version of Panda Express.

Starting point is 01:31:48 Yeah, I passed out like yesterday and I was like, what is this? And while we're talking about stuff that isn't as good as it should be, the Panda Inn isn't as good as it should be. Really? There is not a big enough gulf, and I love Panda Express, between Panda Express and the Panda Inn to justify the higher prices or any of that stuff, I think the allure is you can go get hammered. And then-

Starting point is 01:32:09 Is the Panda Inn a buffet? No. Oh, I thought it was Bang Bang Food non-stop. No, no, it's not not Bang Bang Food non-stop. Welcome to America, Bang Bang Food non-stop. I find that to be an adjective so bad. Bang Bang Food non-stop. If it was, that'd be fucking great

Starting point is 01:32:28 Oh man, yes, yes, yes Panda I would say go to I mean, what's that place in Chinatown? If you want like good bad American Chinese food. Oh where they got all the movie stars pictures. Yeah That place is really slippery shrimp. That's the spot Oh yeah. That place is really good. With the slippery shrimp, that's the spot. Yeah. That shit's so deep.

Starting point is 01:32:46 Sean, time for your third pick. Top shelf liquor. Only top shelf liquor, like exclusive. This is your place? This might be your avocados. You're here. Not exclusively, I'm talking like. You're talking like Johnny Walker Blue?

Starting point is 01:32:58 Whatever's at the top, they gotta get the latter up. You go to one of those whiskey bars and they gotta get the latter up. They just gotta find out what's at the top. They gotta dust it off. It's like that $400 know, $400 a glass. Like the training day. Can I have some of your $300 a glass shit?

Starting point is 01:33:09 That's what I want. Exclusively. You're talking like that whistle pig or whatever that is. What you call me? You a fucking whistle pig. You a whore? We don't keep those around here after sundown either. Get the goddamn whistle pigs out of my neighborhood.

Starting point is 01:33:22 I didn't like you when you did that. No, no, no. I can't do it. I don't care. Could have been any of us in this room. Shit. Anyone of us could be a whistle pig. I think Isaac thinks it's Isaac.

Starting point is 01:33:37 Top shelf liquor. How'd we get here? Top shelf liquor. Like the most expensive, I don't even know how much it costs liquor. I don't even know what it's called. You don't even have to ask. Just to, you know, like give me, you know, you go to like a whiskey bar. Like a type that is not a type that you know, like you're like, oh, I can have cognac.

Starting point is 01:33:51 But then there's also like. Oh, they're like we have this Japanese whiskey that we're the only bar in the country that has it or something. And it's like however much it costs. Right. Because, you know, you go to like those like nice bars or whatever, and they have the whole wall, like a library. But it's my kind of library. It's like Uncle Granddad.

Starting point is 01:34:08 What's one of the ones that's like grandpappy? There's people who are like whiskey people are so pissed at me right now. But there's one that's like, Uncle Granddad sounds crazy. Whistle pig and I'm so- That's a problem. Let me get a glass of Granddad, Uncle Granddad, and a glass of Whistlepig now.

Starting point is 01:34:30 You might want to take off. Whistlepig and Uncle Granddad are coming over. They both just got out. Uncle Granddad is a crime for sure. What are you in for, Uncle Granddad? It's happening on the other island. Yo, Uncle Granddad. Oh, man. Oh, what's it called?

Starting point is 01:34:51 There's something that sounds like that. That's old Ripley and Wink. Anyway, I'll find out. I remember Jay Larson one time, I told him I was a whiskey guy, and by that I just meant I like to drink it. And he got me a nice $60 pour or something, and I took it like a shot, and he was so mad. Yeah, I'd be mad. Yep. I knocked it back, I'm like, yeah'm gonna drink it, you know? And he got me a nice, like, $60 pour or something, and I took it like a shot, and he was so mad.

Starting point is 01:35:06 Yeah, I'd be mad. Yep, I just, I took, I knocked it back, I'm like, yeah, it's all right, you know? He got pretty pissed about it. Got bored of that story halfway through. God damn. I know, it's not real. Isaac, keep that in.

Starting point is 01:35:18 I'm just yawning normal. Normal yawn. Time for my third and fourth picks, as it is a Serine draft with my third pick I'm going to take a couple of senators. Oh, yeah Yeah, I had that on my list Politicians just a couple of politicians who I can call up to smooth stuff out when you lost your passport, right? You know where I like your son kills somebody or your son kills somebody. Yeah, and you need to make it go away

Starting point is 01:35:43 You have people who can do that for you, right? When having a lawyer on retainer isn't quite enough, I've got a couple of senators. I had a similar passport issue, where it was weirdly easy to get ahold of my congressperson. Do you know if you like, so when we were going for our honeymoon, I didn't know that you had to have

Starting point is 01:36:01 your passport for six months after when your travel date is, but whatever. Wait, what do you mean? So your passport has to be good for six months after your travel, after you get back. Yeah, mine was set to expire like a week after we were meant to get back and I was like perfect. And then it was like no, it has to be good for like six months after. Why is that? Just in case you decide to stick around for extra week? I think that's how long you can travel without a visa for, or you could or something like that. But like I was scrambling, I was like,

Starting point is 01:36:29 oh shit, I'm not gonna be able to go on my honeymoon. And people were like, I ended up getting it through like going through the expedited office, but they were like, if that doesn't work out, you can call your congressperson and they can sort of push it through for you. Just case by case? Which is crazy, case by case.

Starting point is 01:36:44 So I had people like, cause I put it up on Twitter and people were like, oh, I'd like know the person sort of push it through for you. Just case by case? Which is crazy, case by case. So I had people like, cause I put it up on Twitter and people were like, oh, I'd like know the person like in this district, blah, blah, blah. And have them sort of like working it like that. But if I had two senators, it's no problem. Yeah, and that's about all you need. To.

Starting point is 01:36:58 Like the stuff that I gotta get out of, I don't need a president. No. I don't need a judge. No. But like, yeah, two senators is good. Well, if you do, the senator probably knows a judge. They could hook it up, you know?

Starting point is 01:37:07 Yeah, that's true. It all flows from there. Yeah. Senator might be a judge. All right, couple of senators. And then with my fourth pick, I'm going to take big ass ranch in Oregon, staffed, fully staffed,

Starting point is 01:37:22 so I don't actually have to go do any ranch stuff. Oh, man. I've seen like the rich guy, like, uh, outside of Telluride in California, Ralph Lauren has one. Oprah has one. There's just guys who work all year round on the Oprah ranch. I'm just one of Oprah's ranch guys. Oprah's got cowboys. When she feels like rolling in. Yeah, she got a Yellowstone.

Starting point is 01:37:44 Kevin Costner has this shit. All these rich people. Yeah. She got a Yellowstone. Yeah. Kevin Costner has this shit. All these rich people. Yeah, a lot of rich people. Cause I've seen her interview Ralph Lauren in his tent. And like, I didn't think, oh, this happened cause Oprah's like. Their ranches are near each other. Yeah, they're near each other.

Starting point is 01:38:00 Their ranch buddies. Yeah, their ranch buddies. That's crazy. All these rich people, like, they're, uh, Dana knows the owner, like, somebody who's marrying into the family that owns the Cubs, and they just have a big ass ranch in Wyoming. Even though they're just like a Chicago family. It's like a fully functional ranch. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:38:18 So they're doing ranch activities when you're not there. We summer in Wyoming. They're keeping the horses in check. Roping, wrangling. Literally, for like the two weeks in the summer, you go feel like pretending to be a cowboy and maybe you go have Christmas, right? Like on a snowy ranch in Wyoming.

Starting point is 01:38:30 God, that sounds dope. So I'm doing that in Eastern Oregon. Just cause you know, I gotta keep it local. I'm gonna have cows. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna have all that stuff going to. It's a full on ranch. You can have a rodeo team.

Starting point is 01:38:40 Lorne Michaels has his version of this, which he owns a farm in Maine that he grows blueberries on. Blueberries. Blueberries. And he, like, he, like, sends people. No, that was, that was just so funny. That really was. That was crazy.

Starting point is 01:39:00 Yo, that's not how I know it came from your heart. I'm so sorry. Not again. Not again! That was nuts. That was nuts. I don't even know what happened. Holy cow. Blueberries.

Starting point is 01:39:15 But yeah, rich guys, they just buy comp, and then like I would have, in the mail, you would get a thing of fucking Carmel steaks in like frozen, like Omaha's Day up. Yeah, for Christmas or something. Yeah, you'd be like, Rob dude, thank you so much for doing AFE, two weeks from now, you get this like a freeze dry thing, you know,

Starting point is 01:39:33 like, or not freeze dried, dry ice, you know, and then just caramel steaks, like fill the fridge with them. Yeah, I'm in. Yeah. I'm in. We're still doing AFE in this scenario though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, cause it's fun, people love it again. We would do AFE from the ranch for sure. For sure. A lot of ranch. I'm still doing a a in the scenario. Yeah

Starting point is 01:39:48 From the ranch for sure Man, we don't wear suede jackets cuz I don't want to have the ability It would be fun to pretend to be a cowboy. Yeah two weeks more than like that life is bad I don't think it's more on if it's if it's out of necessity boys. Not the coolest guys. No No a lot of... They don't like crazy town, I'll tell you that. Nobody likes crazy town. Fucking assholes. They might like crazy town.

Starting point is 01:40:10 I do, okay? I'm holding the flag. Well, it's time for your fourth pick, cowboy. Private skate park. Thank you. Call me cowboy more often. All right. That makes me feel cool.

Starting point is 01:40:20 A private skate park that I just... Oh man, they just blow it so many ways building skate parks. Everything is just a little bit off. I just want to design and have my own private park in like a Morton building, quiet ground. It's a Morton building. Like a tin, you know what I mean? Like a tin building.

Starting point is 01:40:36 Oh, so when it rains, it sounds really romantic. Yeah, and we can have any wedding reception from South Dakota there. You've been to, you've had entée into a lot of pretty exclusive skate parks. Like you've been to the Nike one, you've been to the Adidas one, you've been to a lot of- Been to the Barracks a few times.

Starting point is 01:40:53 But it's not that hard to get into, but- What's the best skate park you've been to? And who's come the closest to nailing it? Tempe has a really good outdoor park that I like. Andy Pitts had a park in Salt Lake City back in the day called The Connection. Yeah. Perfect. I would model it after that. Everything was just the right height.

Starting point is 01:41:10 People take too big of swings. You see a full pipe. So stupid. I'm looking at you. Whoever built that full pipe. What are you? I'm looking at the camera. Bam Margera. Dude, he's doing all right. He's getting soap. He's like he's doing he's doing all right right now. Just a private skate park. Nothing, nothing crazy.

Starting point is 01:41:26 I design it, it's at my crib, maybe even in the basement. Like I got a house with like a giant catacomb basement and there's a skate park down there. Wow. It'd be fun. Not noisy, Nike built, the Nike park, they have like this hollow ground kinda. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:41:39 It just, it absorbs the noise, it's fantastic. Oh, interesting. Is that something you can film stuff in there? I mean, there's businesses all around it. It's still noisy, but it's like, it's as little noise as you could get. Sick, dude. Thanks, bro.

Starting point is 01:41:52 In Shun's Theater, before the movie starts, you gotta watch his highlights from the skate park. I'll be showing you. Yeah. To set to. Before the trailers start, you gotta watch him grind a little bit. And it's set to Butterfly the trailers start, you gotta watch them grind a little bit.

Starting point is 01:42:05 And it's set to Butterfly by Crazy Town, his part. And it just cuts to me doing the Shifty Shellshock dance with my shirt off. What's the Shifty Shellshock dance? Just having your shirt off, I think, in that video. Shout out a couple, uh, shout out a couple Uncle Grandpas last night. Shifty Shellshock dance. Shout out a couple Two Tree Many Whistlepigs that was out there eating shifty shell shells. Isaac found it.

Starting point is 01:42:28 Pappy Van Winkle is what I was thinking of. Oh yeah, okay. I've heard it. You said Uncle Grandpa? I'm not far off! Spiritually, Pappy Van Winkle and Uncle Grandpa are like... That's close. You know, is Whistlepig real?

Starting point is 01:42:43 Yeah, I think so. Oh man. Anyway, yeah, private skate park. Yeah. Yeah, Whistlepig's close. You know, is Whistlepig real? Yeah, I think so. Oh man. Anyway, yeah, private skate park. Yeah. Yeah, Whistlepig's real. Rob, tell me about your fourth pick. Fourth pick, give me the Banks residence. Give me the mansion in front of Fresh Prince. Oh, whoa. That is in Bel Air, right?

Starting point is 01:43:00 Yeah. You could rent it during pandemic, right? Right, they had like a thing where You could rent it during pandemic, right? Right, they had like a thing where you could rent them for a little bit, but yeah, give me that thing. If you getting kicked out, you know you getting thrown out. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:43:15 We put the ring camera on the ground facing up towards the entrance. We throwing people out. That's what you play, your screening room is the compilation I throw in different people. That's what happens play in your screening room is the compilation. I throw in different people Can you run that back? No. They just called him in and put his hand on a burner real quick to get the sound of that.

Starting point is 01:43:45 Oh. We filmed in front of that. We were doing something on the Late Late Show, we were doing something with Will Smith. Like, I don't think it was a carpool karaoke, but I think it was something close to that. And we went and filmed in front of that house. The people live there.

Starting point is 01:44:00 Yeah? Yeah, people like live inside it. I hope they watch. I think when they did the Airbnb was like the people who were doing You could like stay there But it's a different interior obviously different interior I might contemplate getting it Flip to be more like the like you have to that would be the

Starting point is 01:44:22 Least the pool house has to be the way they had it. You're getting a Jeffrey. Yeah, I'm getting a Jeffrey. I didn't know if you took over fully staffed with the ranch, so then I was like, dang, I might. No, no, staff is still in play. Okay. I got cowboys, you can get British publics.

Starting point is 01:44:38 I was like, dang, my island gonna be real barren now. No, no, staff's on board. Just a dustbin. I felt like the island. You took staff, though. I felt like the staff, though. That's a valuable chess piece right there. I think island, I assumed you also had infrastructure. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:44:52 Because I saw the Fire Island document, and then I was like, damn, you would have to plum it. Fire Island? Fire Fest. Fire Fest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's Fire Island? It's a gay tourism destination.

Starting point is 01:45:04 They like plumbing. Yeah. Wait a minute. Yeah. We don't know how that sits. Okay. No, I really watched the room react to it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:45:13 Don't put, yeah. I, it was too many options. My brain sent down too many options for me to say things. Everybody likes plumbing. That's what I'm saying. Who don't like plumbing? Sinners don't happen if there's plumbing. That's what we were in for movies. One of the last times we were in New York, everybody likes plumbing. That's what I'm saying. Who don't like plumbing? Sinners don't happen if there's plumbing. That's what we were in for movies.

Starting point is 01:45:27 One of the last times we were in New York, David Stocks. They got a bathroom on the inside, that whole movie's zipped. You're right. But you're right though. Yeah, that really does change everything. It's a good movie. David, time for your fourth and final picks.

Starting point is 01:45:43 What was your speed round for the last round? I want a Make-it-model my edition like how they have like a Snoop DeVille You want the will. I am car I understand no no no no asking specifically for will. I am scar 3000 and late Will.i.am. 3000 and late. Ever since David saw him in X-Men. He's hooked. Isaac, are you able with video technology

Starting point is 01:46:10 to just flash up a picture of Will.i.am's car? Absolutely. Will.i.am's car. Will you put, I guess that's why they call it window pane over it? Oh man. Let's see if I can pull it up. I got it. Okay. That is crazy.

Starting point is 01:46:27 He's got the Dick Tracy. It's just a custom one of one. Which I didn't know you could do. I think you can. Yeah, well, I can. But I but to be honest, I'm saying that I don't want that. I want a current car But the Bori a dish like how you could get the Harley Davidson f-150. Oh, I see I understand. Yeah

Starting point is 01:46:51 Didn't like Funkmaster flex have that was a driving shoe Or you know what happened was somebody put out something flex and my head thought it was Flex or like Wycliffe or something, one of them had like their own like yeah. Edition right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because Funkmaster Flex was a big car show guy.

Starting point is 01:47:16 Yeah. And I remember thinking like. Ford Expedition. He did. Right. Yeah. You gotta put the records in there. You have a Flexpedition?

Starting point is 01:47:24 They made 650 of them. Yeah, nah, the pedals only work with lugs. You can't hit the pedals on that car if you don't got lugs on your feet. You feel like those guns where it's like the fingerprint. Only you can pull the trigger. It's like a biometric lugs pedal. When it detects your lug, it does a flex bomb.

Starting point is 01:47:48 That's a Timberland Boots, get out of here. Get the fuck out of my car. It locks the doors. You can't get out now. A flexpedition, good job, Sean. Do you have any specific car in mind? Oh, I want a Ford Explorer. I think about that. Because that's the funniest thing about me.

Starting point is 01:48:12 Is that it's accessible. It's not like a Countach. You can get one to strike David Bori. It's like when you have like a F-150 Lightning and people are like, oh shit, is that the street racing mod? And you're like, oh yeah, I got the Bori. There's a Hennessy engine in there. Yeah, a Hen-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en- It's very expensive. You're dipping into my fantasy over here. There's one gas station in town that doesn't have put some VSOP in there, Doug.

Starting point is 01:48:48 Going to the fair like, hey, anybody got any Hennessy? My car's out of Hennessy. I'm light right now. It's just got E and J. It still works. We can only go 20. We can't be on the freeway with it right now. We got to stay. There's like having a boot on.

Starting point is 01:49:03 There's speed release. There's service treats. Service treats. My car gets a DUI once a year. Oh, boy. That was great. And we'll do a lightning round for the final pick. So your fifth pick. Little Lebowski's Urban Achievers,

Starting point is 01:49:17 but like Jerry's Kids, like my version of that. Yeah. Rob, your final pick. My final pick, I'm buying Timberland. Yeah, I'm buying Timberland and I'm putting on Under the Soul, OJ the Juice Man lyrics. It's a little Atlanta. Yeah. Wow.

Starting point is 01:49:38 For every New Yorker secretly just like in there. They have it. Yeah, yeah. It's like how they have the Bible verses inside the In-N-Out cups. Oh, I like it, just a in there. They have it. It's like how they have the Bible verses inside the In-N-Out cups. Oh, I like it. Just a little hidden. Yeah, yeah. That's great.

Starting point is 01:49:51 I wonder what would happen. Do you think like New York dudes would stop wearing? I think they'd be pissed. Or the market for like dead stock old Tims would go crazy. You should do both. Where you buy up all the old Tims. I buy up all the old Tims and they don. You should do both. Where you buy up all the old Tims. I buy up all the old Tims and they don't know it.

Starting point is 01:50:08 Yeah, and I hoard those. And then I start Atlanta-ing up the new Tims. Yeah, yeah. There's a little scroll describing how T.I. saved Scott Stapp's life. If you get the double soul, it's in the top soul, so you can't even get it out. And it's the Creed collab Timbs. You know they're gonna love that.

Starting point is 01:50:30 You know they're gonna love that. Crazy town Timbs in the Bundy. Crazy town Timbs. Easy to get the crazy town Timbs. Crazy Timbs? Yeah. Crazy Timbs. If you're a maximista, you can get those for about half price.

Starting point is 01:50:41 Oh my god. Hell yeah. Sean, your final pick. A condo in the city. Piet d'etat? Is that the term? Piet d'etat. Yeah, just to have it.

Starting point is 01:50:50 Condo in the city. Smash pad. I'm getting a... Smash pad. All right, hell yeah. I'm getting a fully decked out Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van. Yep. Like real nice on the inside,

Starting point is 01:51:02 where it's just very comfortable seats, TV, like video game kind of thing. You know what I had on my list was a- A kickback bus. Kickback bus, yeah, exactly. Not a party bus. Not a party bus. Yeah, that ain't as classy as this.

Starting point is 01:51:13 No, low key, it's like just a really nice, luxurious ride and you get driven around in it. I've seen, I don't wanna say who, but I've recently been working with someone who has one of those and it looks real nice. And we're now, he zooms in from it. Is it Prince Harry? It's Prince Harry, yeah.

Starting point is 01:51:29 I bet Prince Harry does. Yeah. I think like a lot of those rich dudes have that because it's also inconspicuous. Yeah. You're not really like trying to see who's coming out of it when someone's saving money. It's not wrapped.

Starting point is 01:51:38 Yeah. Right. Creed's probably got one. Scott's that, it's not wrapped, but it is stabbed. Stabbed, dude. I'm gonna stab him. I want all my stab on hand. Scott's that it's not it's not wrapped but it is staff I want all my staff on hand. Oh That's what I meant when I said a fully staffed fully staffed

Starting point is 01:51:59 A bunch of clones of Scott's just a bunch of shirtless dudes with with shoulder-length hair. I gotta watch the video for that I think about ending it all Yeah, I'd be in the voice of reason. Yeah Isaac your pick. I want to own my own wine bar. Yeah, you do. We sure do. That's also like Bacchanal in New Orleans. Yeah. As like a live jazz kind of situation. And in the back, I want to have a podcast studio and a music studio.

Starting point is 01:52:20 You're killing the vibe. What? When you said when you When you said podcast with everything else. Wine bar is crazy. I want I appreciate you. I want a wine bar studio complex. You can have a studio in it. I want to hear the word podcast in front of it. Hey, multiple studios, the wine bar is not first now. Cause you got multiple studios in there. It'll be studios, but it's also a wine bar. It's your pick. Fuck up, it's your pick. Yeah, alright, yeah, it's a big one. I appreciate Sean's supportiveness over here.

Starting point is 01:52:51 Man, Nicole Byers at this wine bar a lot. You get a podcast. Wasn't that a TV show? Oh, by the way. Yeah, that was the TV show. I guess it'd be cool. I'd go to that. I just, I wanna work at the studio, and then I wanna work at the wine bar. Fair play, fair play. I don't know be cool. I'd go to that. I just, I wanna work at the studio

Starting point is 01:53:05 and then I wanna work at the wine bar. Fair play, fair play. I wouldn't know if I'd be podcast studio forward with your wine bar. Our podcast would be fucked up if we were on Red Wine. Yeah, oh. That would be funny. That shit makes me too passionate.

Starting point is 01:53:17 I'd be barfing all over you guys. You'd barf on me. Oh yeah, you'd barf on Red Wine? I mean, I barfed on David. Shout out to Bacchanalia in New Orleans. I don't care that that's not the name. That place was ill dude. Yeah, it ruled.

Starting point is 01:53:29 Bacchanal right? Bacchanal. To recap, David you went first. You took, you would add avocado to sandwiches. Stand on it. First of all, please. And you follow that up by buying Michelangelo's David, which I think is literally a priceless object.

Starting point is 01:53:44 I don't think there's a price. I think it's owned by the government of Italy. This biggest fan. Life is about progression. Yeah, that's true. You would make Hollywood propaganda films, and then I threw you a bonus that you just get to have Barrington Levy follow you

Starting point is 01:53:58 around the area of your life. You'd have the Bori edition, Ford Explorer, and then you'd have David's Kids, a charity for, not necessarily at-risk youth. You could help the white ghettos of South Dakota. That's not what it is. Okay. You're not gonna go clean them up.

Starting point is 01:54:11 Exactly. Okay. Ravez, you went second. You took, you'd get a Lamborghini Countach. You'd have an adults-only island, the half your age plus seven island. You'd own your own Popeyes. By the way, I hear like franchisingising, if you can get in the door,

Starting point is 01:54:26 that shit is massively profitable. Like if you can get some McDonald's that are in even okay locations, they pay themselves off quick. The Popeyes will give me the Kuntas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Popeyes is first. What do you have in the bank to get a franchise? I was just thinking that. 250 grand? It's a little more than that.

Starting point is 01:54:44 I was looking thinking that, 250 grand? It's a little more than that. I think it's, it might be. It's like I was just looking. I was looking into it. I think it might be like a near, maybe not necessarily a seven figure initial investment, but you're getting, well it also depends on where you're trying to do it.

Starting point is 01:54:55 Right. Mansion for Fresh Prince, and you buy Timberland and start Atlanta-ing up all the Timberland. Sean, you went third, you took a lake house, a screening room, top shelf liquor, a private skate park, and a condo in the city, a smash pad in the city.

Starting point is 01:55:09 I can do that, I can get there. You can? I'm the only one that can get there. That's where we're at. You don't know where I can get. Nah, I can get to all my shit. Portland Trailblazers, this is our fantasy everything, not our goals everything.

Starting point is 01:55:19 Yeah. All real. That's a whole different show. All vision board everything. All realistic everything. Let me pick a couch. Let me get an ottoman. It does prove that I'm trash when I'm like, what am I? A sensible pair of walking shoes.

Starting point is 01:55:36 Some containers to put my cereal in. A weekend trip to Ojai. Two different kinds of milk. A new lawnmower. I just got a new lawn mower. I just got a new lawn mower, baby. I took the Portland Trailblazers, full Italian everything wardrobe, a couple of Senators, a big ass Oregon ranch that is entirely staffed, and then a Mercedes Benz Sprinter van that completely locks inside. We want to hear your picks! Hit us up at allfantasypodcast.com.

Starting point is 01:56:05 Shout out to everyone at the All Fantasy Everything Patreon, where you can get bonus episodes, the live episodes we just did in New Orleans, by the way, where we drafted. Oh, those are coming out. Those are coming out. It didn't go, it went pretty hard. You sign up.

Starting point is 01:56:19 The one with Dulce was icy. The one with Dulce was icy. It's coming out though, I think. Of course. We didn't say it. No, nor did Dulce. None of us said it. Yeah, it was fine. They, the one with Dulce was icy. It's coming out though, I think. Of course. We didn't say it. No, nor did Dulce. None of us said it. Yeah, it was fine.

Starting point is 01:56:28 It wasn't Philly. Everything that could get someone canceled was said by the person who can't be canceled for saying it. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah. So I think we have. I get that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:56:38 A lie from Jew Orleans, that one is coming at you. No, I said that. It's coming out. I said it on their TV. Where we drafted. I used the appropriate amount of space. Absolutely. Songs by New Orleans,

Starting point is 01:56:49 I also maintain that Jew is not a bad word. It is a bad tone that people take with that word. And we didn't use a bad tone. This is a great way to add the first video podcast. We drafted Songs by New Orleans artists and one of them and the other one is, why am I blanking on it right now? Well, you'll have to join the Patreon to find out. We also do auction drafts, this or that,

Starting point is 01:57:09 mailbag episodes, all for the price of adding avocado to your sandwich. Shout out to everyone. Well, we want them to do it, though. Oh, all for the low, low price, less than adding avocado to your sandwich outside of California. Shout out to the AFE Slackity,

Starting point is 01:57:24 shout out to the AFE subreddit, where aety. Shout out to the AFE subreddit, where a lot of Sean talk in the AFE subreddit right now. Shout out to super producer, all positive, super producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to Saints 2 Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Haji Beach. Shout out to Sid the Dude.

Starting point is 01:57:38 And more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Blueberry. Blueberries. Ha ha ha ha. That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, and I host the HeadGum Podcast, We're Here to Help, with my partner, Gareth Reynolds.

Starting point is 01:58:16 We're Here to Help is a call-in advice show, think car talk from back in the day. We're determined to help fix life's dumbest problems. We also have guest helpers join us, from entire cast of New Girl to Michael Cera, Andy Sandberg, Jimmy Kimmel, just to name a few. So do me a favor and come check out an episode and then bounce around our catalog. We're over 150 episodes so far, so there's plenty of stories for you to discover. Subscribe to We're Here to Help on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Starting point is 01:58:45 New episodes drop every Monday, and bonus episodes drop on Wednesdays.

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All Fantasy Everything - The Best Things We Can't Afford (w/ Rob Haze)

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