All Fantasy Everything - The Winter Olympics (w/ Shaker Samman)

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

5.1 inches.Guest:Shaker Samman (@shakersamman)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive con...tent.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. We're going to see everything. The podcast that's finishing its sandwich. We'll keep it down, too. The podcast of fantasy. It's in the same bag. The podcast and fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we're drafting the Winter Olympics.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Because it's the Winter Olympics. It sure is. Our guest today is our friend, SportsRy, Shaka Saman. What's going on? I'm your host here and Carmell with me. As always are my friends and stand-up comedians, David Bore and Sean Jordan.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Right here. In the building. David brought his lunch. Yeah, I brought some, too. And I feel so, I feel so stupid. I did not. And I'm jealous. I learn on Monday.
Starting point is 00:01:13 What happened? Oh! That's all right. I got it. It's all happening. That's all right. It just fell down the carpet. This is my fault.
Starting point is 00:01:20 This is my fault. You were having a nice leisurely lunch and I was like, you could like, Could we start now? Go have some food afterwards. On Monday, I remember I got to light headed at like four. And I'm like, got to eat something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Somewhere in that period because I got a colton when I woke up today. Now what did you get? I got a ham and cheese colhont when I woke up. And Shane got one too. So you got a colhont as well. You got a colhont. We almost got something else, but that cohole and what did you almost get? Like a muffin.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Like a muffin. Me too. A mifon. I had that as a placeholder and then I'll probably have the sandwich after this. But yeah, you do this for the whole day. You know, and you don't eat. And it's like, it's fun.
Starting point is 00:02:02 You don't realize, but then you get to the end and you're like, dog, I'm lightheaded. My blood sugar, I can feel my blood sugar. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And that's an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah. Slaving in the hot sun all day behind his mind. It is.
Starting point is 00:02:14 It is hard. It's a version of what can be hard. Yes. You got to be on. And try being hammered the whole time, shocker. That's what you didn't consider. They got that blue E&J in there. The level that we're operating at on here, dude, the level that we're operating on it on here.
Starting point is 00:02:28 We didn't go to bed after dinner last night. We can't go to bed. We drove to Tijuana. We did a podcast there. In Espanio. Jokes on you wearing longsuit. Are you aren't any of these comments on? I'm all good, thank you.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Actually, toss me one of us. Yeah. It's got pit. Careful. Good looking out. All right. Sorry. You know what you got to, when you got a kid, you can't do the toss popcorn thing in your mouth because they see you do it and they'll want to do it.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Oh. And they're always going to mess. Laura called me on that. Yeah, she's not going to make it. I'm not going to be proud of her. Yeah, you got, you can't. Kids don't understand that, like, tongue's got to be in the way of your throat.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Like that. So it doesn't just fall in. Don't make that noise. Several of us are eating. What? He's got crackers. You have crackers? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:03:11 What are you? All of it David gave me. David was still working on that sandwich. Do not make that noise. Sounds like I was working on some dude. Come on. Come on. Sounds like what I was doing.
Starting point is 00:03:22 And that's a wrap on the winner of Olympics. Come on. That's what I keep saying. Day class. Trying. Day class day. That's a tough one. What's that mean?
Starting point is 00:03:33 We have a journalist with us right now. Yeah, we do have a journalist. I just play one on TV. It's fine. We have a journalist with us right now and you're doing blue humor. Blue humor. Unkind remarks. I gave him a blue job.
Starting point is 00:03:45 It was right there. It was right there. I had to do it. You're trying. What are you trying to? What are you doing right now? Proving a point that you can be gross and funny at the same. time and remain friends with everyone in the room.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Good friend. Friends who go to carousel together. Brothers. Father brothers. Standing intrepidly on the battlefield of life. Will you go to war with me? Sorry if nobody thinks this bit's funny. I'm having a good time.
Starting point is 00:04:08 We both like it. I'm not going to get my finger right in there. If you want to see exactly what kind of handhold we got going on, check us out on YouTube. You guys hold hands with the partners? Yeah. Yeah. Never do it. I hold hands with your wife. Yeah, never do it.
Starting point is 00:04:22 You can. Like not in public? just in general? Sometimes on the couch I'll do like I'll just I'll kind of like I'll put my hand over there feels rude now that I'm saying
Starting point is 00:04:31 I'll put my hand over and be like can we contact Oh yeah all the time Yeah But not in public Ah no it always just You make her walk a foot behind She makes you walk a foot behind
Starting point is 00:04:41 We go to the movies And we sit back there please It's rated R I don't want to It's a one set of footsteps things Whoever's in behind has to mirror the footsteps Exactly you want to be able to jack off The movies so Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:51 And I'll do it regardless But you're like Couple rows back. It'll bomb me out less. It'll be better for all. You'd rather she was behind you or in front of you? You don't have to go back to Aalio when she's working. What?
Starting point is 00:05:03 What's Aalio. Kids movie. Oh. Oh, I said it was pretty good. I saw it. Yeah, I liked it. So you're the one. There's very clearly a dad's side of the couch and a not bad side.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Aalio. I have seen Aalio though. Well, fuck me. With the dinosaur? Is it? Is the alien one. Oh, I'm thinking of Luca maybe. Luca's the Italian.
Starting point is 00:05:23 He turns into a alien. a fish. On a bicycle. Mm-hmm. Are you thinking of the good dinosaur? I don't know, guys. I've never been more confused in my entire life. Never? I mean.
Starting point is 00:05:35 What about now? I put my hands over there. What about the first time you saw he did rivalry? Come on. Hey! Have you seen it? We're going to talk about hockey. I have seen, like, part of an episode.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Yeah. I will say I love Shoresy and I love Latterkenny. And it's that same feller. Yeah. Shorzy, unbelievable. Yeah. Hell yeah. There we go.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. Is it... How'd you give a ball's a tag? I haven't seen Shorzie or Letter Kenny. Oh, really? No. Shorzy is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:06:02 It's definitely its own lane, too. It's really fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the... Is there anything like it? What's it reminiscent of? Trailer Park Boysish? The closest thing to Shorzie is like, to me, is Letter Kenny, but it's also a totally
Starting point is 00:06:11 different vibe from Letterkenny than me. Yeah, it's like trailer park boys, but I'd say maybe better world building. Okay. It's really worth watching. They're really doing their own things. I need a show. What's or not? Who?
Starting point is 00:06:22 Oh. It's really funny, but also. And also, surprisingly, like, tender and soft. Yeah. Also, small town bleak, which is fun. Oh, that is fun. In small Canada towns. There's, like, natives and all kinds of stuff going on.
Starting point is 00:06:34 You walk immediately into a world you did not know existed, and you always need more of. Sorry, Canada, First Nation. First Nations, yeah. We both crossed our legs. Who sent us Roman J. Israel Esquire script? Adam Triplett did. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:51 So it's been, like, this will be chronological. the first episode that it's been on the table for. For several of the upcoming episodes, there's a Roman J. Israel Esreel Squire script. A lot thicker than I would have liked to do. That's a lot more Roman than I'd love. Shocker, have you seen Roman J. Israel Esrault? I've not.
Starting point is 00:07:14 I did read the Wikipedia page for it like two weeks ago because I got the YouTube algorithm gives you random things. It gave me a clip from this movie and I was like, what is going on? Well, it's in the air because we've been talking about it. Yeah. Ian brought it back, actually. Yeah, I've been bringing back.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm your Roman originalist. It's your favorite film, right? It is one of my 20 favorite Denzel Washington movies. Honestly, I still think I thought it was Mississippi Massala. Which I think it'd been taken. Yeah. It had.
Starting point is 00:07:43 A lot of them had been taken. We did a Denzel Washington auction draft. Okay. And it was the last one for $1. I took Roman J. Israel Esquire. And I was roundly criticized. and mocked by people who I assumed were two of my best friends.
Starting point is 00:07:59 If not three of my best friends, if not four. Weren't you trying to do your thing where you were trying to get one of us to take it, acting like you were super into it, and then neither one of us took it? And you're like, ah, all right, I mean, I do like it. But he had seen it. You're the only one who had even seen it.
Starting point is 00:08:14 You had seen it. That is true. I've seen it multiple times. Two? Yeah. What do you mean? Two is multiple. Two? Is it two?
Starting point is 00:08:23 Two? Okay. Roman J.J. Israel. I've been to the squire. I've spent two non-consecretive hours with the squire. The first time you saw it, did you think it was like a Jews versus Romans like war movie? Roman Jew, Israel. Oh, Israel.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Okay. Roman be Israel. And then second time you had to rewatch it just without that in your head. I was so intrigued by the poster where Denzel Washington, I can't believe, talking about it this video.
Starting point is 00:08:58 It looks like the poster for radio. Yeah, a little bit. But it's not. I got to look at it. It's not. That lane, just to be clear.
Starting point is 00:09:05 No, I know. It's on the radio lane. But I was like, I've never seen Denzel at Washington play a character like this before, so I was intrigued. Extremely dusty.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Yeah. The character is extremely dusty. Yeah. Washington on an airplane, which I feel like is the place you should watch Roman Jay's Real Es Reel Squad. Sure.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Did you believe in the dust when you saw it, though? Yeah. He sells the dust. Which is hard for Denzel Washington. He's so clean. He's so clean. No dust on the bottom.
Starting point is 00:09:31 You're doing your job because I do want to watch it now more than I ever have. Exactly right. And there's the script right there. So you're going to quit yourself. I feel like you want to watch it as much as you want to read Moby Dick. I don't want to do that. I kind of want to watch Roman J. Israel now. I'm reading a book.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I'm reading a book. I predicted it. Hopefully by this time I'm done with the book. I hope so, too. I better be. I think you will be. And then on to the Roman J. Israel script. Sean Cougamel Jordan
Starting point is 00:09:56 Big Burgundy suit Sorry Yeah Big ass burgundy suit You gotta see it That's why you like it Because you got a burgundy suit You do have a greenie suit
Starting point is 00:10:07 That doesn't fit anymore though My burgeny suit? Yeah Yeah I'll be swimming in that thing Oh no I have a small I got one I got married in a burglany suit Oh your suit That's the one I thought you were referring to
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah I remember your old one too I used to have a big ass bergony suit Yeah Not my first burgeny suit You don't want your wedding Burgundy suit to be your first Burgundy suit. Have you considered doing the
Starting point is 00:10:26 David Byrne thing with the older, bigger burgundy suit? No. I have to stop. I would consider that every single day. Every single suit. Now it's gone. I want to just dance around. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Stop making noise. It's not being sense. Whatever. I'll be in Omaha, Nebraska. February 20th and 21st. I believe this is going to come up before then. Yeah. We're going to do the Winter Olympic start.
Starting point is 00:10:49 What did you say? February 7th? February 5th. Or 6th is opening ceremonies. 22nd is closing ceremony. We're going to drop this one closer. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:10:58 So it comes out earlier. So everything else gets bumped out a week. All right. But that's not going to... Some of VIP. Yeah, it'll be fine. But um, October. Come see me in October, bro, wherever I met.
Starting point is 00:11:06 February 20th, 21st, Omaha Fonty Bone, Kyle Kinnane. Watch my don't tell set on YouTube, please, like a chair, and then... By now it's over $6 billion? Right in there? I can't put the mat now, now that we're doing it earlier. It's the most watched video in the history of YouTube. No, that's what I said.
Starting point is 00:11:20 It over to Gangnam style. And it's even bigger on Chinese YouTube. If you look up Sabali, fraud, that comes up. It's me. Did you guys see that video? That comes up. That is what you did.
Starting point is 00:11:29 That comes up. What is that in reference to? It was that guy, it's like the most viewed video on YouTube now. The, what's his name? The Somali fraud video from Minnesota. This guy dropped a video about Somali daycare fraud in Minnesota. Oh. And then like, but then it would like, we drowned around on the time with the Epstein Files.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Ooh. And then it got like mad boost. And then now it's like one of the highest viewed YouTube videos of all time. Nick Shirley, I believe is his name? I can't find it. I can't find it. I says on a different internet.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Yeah. You're on the real internet. He's on the internet. Yeah, he's on the internet. It's like in a swimsuit. I've been really pews thing Sean's Don't Tell Set on Kakao Talk. We've been on WhatsApp. Dude, it's everywhere.
Starting point is 00:12:17 What's Kakao Talk? It's like Korean WhatsApp. It's Korean-N-Lazzo. So there's like, so there's different, because I have WhatsApp. But I recently heard of Viber is another one. Vibor was like around when I was in like middle school and stuff. But I've heard it for foreign people now. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Doing it right now. But my family, we're a WhatsApp. Oh, yeah, I was on WhatsApp. I heard it for like Greek people, I think or something. Oh, interesting. What if we're just creating new stereotypes right here? Greeks love Vibers. Put your goddamn Vibers.
Starting point is 00:12:46 That video is real, though. You saw it. I saw some news article about it, but I don't want to click on it. Oh, that's fair. Oh, dangerous. I don't want my algorithm to be. I feel bad that I asked you to eat your sandwich faster and I just got a clear in the air.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Yeah, it's okay. I got it down. I got it done. I feel satiated. I feel terrible. It was like the perfect. It looked so good. I've been really, so a lot of made that one, but I've been really nailing.
Starting point is 00:13:12 But I make sandwiches too, dude. I'm at the crib. I've been really tweaking it to get my perfect like Mendo Cino Farm style at home sandwich. Do you do? I'll toast at a lot. little bit. Oh, yeah. Oh, always. See, I don't toast it. But that Dave's holds up. Oh, yeah. Dave's...
Starting point is 00:13:30 That's an architecturally suprembrate. Yeah, Dave's is so thick that you don't really have to toast it. I've been... I'm going to go on Havardi, too. I'm a provolone, man. I usually, like, I got some boar's head Picante provolone, but Alana had got some Havardi. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:46 She made this one, so she put... All cheese is good cheese. Do not... Do not misconstrue my words that are about to happen because I love Provolon. I love. I I love provolone. Do not. I'm going to get your finger that close to my mouth again.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Misconstru what I'm about to say. That's the closest your fingers ever been to my mouth. Sometimes it's an overpowering cheese. And that's not exactly what you want in a sandwich situation. You know when I like provolone? I like it melted. Yeah. Cold, maybe there's a few different cheese choices.
Starting point is 00:14:17 I like the way it sort of gently drapes when you melt it. We haven't drafted cheese. I love that it's always circular. Should we hard pivot? Sharp white. Cheddar. I love a sharp white cheddar. Sounds right. A forthright,
Starting point is 00:14:30 upstanding, a god-fearing sharp white cheddar. Member of its community. A red-blooded. I like a sharp, a sharp bite now. What color? I can make the two colors, right? Sharp yellow cheddar and sharp white cheddar. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Are there any other kind of sharp cheddar? You're saying it's so funny. I'm on my heels. I'm taking notes. for when we cancel Sean. Oh yeah, we're cancel on Sean, everybody. Yeah. But like a smoky cheddar too.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Yeah. Something that gives me, or like a, like a blue cheese, a brie. See, I like smoked Gouda by itself. I don't want it on a sandwich. It's mushy kind. It's like chewier than it's. It is. It overpowers and like, I'll take a turkey smoked,
Starting point is 00:15:12 but I don't want the cheese necessarily smoked. Yeah. And that's just one of the interesting things about it. I'd like to smoke my own cheese one of these days. I was about to bring that up. People are smoking their own cheese. Have you seen this on the internet? No.
Starting point is 00:15:24 I've been smoked since I'm married. I almost exclusively smoked with my cheese. There's a lot of cooking. I could see you. You are a, people don't know Schacher. Shocker is an obsessive. Yeah, I don't know how to get a little into something. I know how to get all the way.
Starting point is 00:15:39 It's probably a little bit of autism. Oh yeah, I've been doing the suvite. I do woodworking. So do your own suvied tank yet, but you have the, that's interesting. Because you have one you don't use. Yeah. And it's. I use it.
Starting point is 00:15:52 I mean. Seld them. I used to use it more. Because I'm, you know, I take care of my finances. How often do you? You paying $200 for a suvite tub means that I don't have to. That couldn't have cost me $200. I think it's like $100.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Okay. How much is the suvied cost? That's cost like $2,300 bucks. Like for the nicer ones? That's why I've never wanted to pull the trigger because I'm like, I just don't think I'd use it enough. I feel like we suvied the same amount. I, you know what it's really? Like two, three times a year?
Starting point is 00:16:18 He's suveed checking them. I really like it for hard-boiled eggs. Because you can just, you don't need the, You just put them in a pot and you can put like a dozen eggs in. You don't need a bag because the shell. And then you go like a bunch of hard boiled eggs. So, okay, but you're inflating your stats with egg suvied. Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm talking about it. This is Monta Ellis. We're taking threes at the top of the logo. What's a suvvvv? I don't even know what we're talking about. What is the suvide? It's like a water circulator. Basically, you like bag up some sort of meat or something and you put it in a water
Starting point is 00:16:46 because it's easier to keep water at a specific temperature than it is air. So like restaurants are using. It never gets over a certain temperature. So it's like. Like if a medium rare steak is 129 degrees, you just bring the water up to 129 degrees exactly and leave the steak in
Starting point is 00:17:02 and it'll cook it over an hour so it's perfect. Then you just vibre there, dude. Oh, whoa. I've always, because I feel like if I got a suvied, fish cuts of steak, I don't lamb. I don't lamb. Lamb is huge.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Lamb goes crazy. Lamb goes crazy because the biggest thing about lamb is like the gaminess, right? Right. But if you put an absolute fuck ton of mustard powder in there and then you suveed lamb for several hours, it takes away the gaminess
Starting point is 00:17:26 and then the mustard so it doesn't taste like mustard. It just uses the enzymes to get rid of the gaminess. And then you get like tender fall off the bone lamb that tastes unbelievable. I love a tender lamb. You do love a tender lamb.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I love like a shank. Dude, I did lamb chops in that thing. Oh, it was so good. In the Veed? Bad dudes. Man, see, you guys are talking. Shanked up your bag. I've hovered on it a lot of times.
Starting point is 00:17:49 This is why you move back to Los Angeles for the lamb. If you need a tub, I got one that's only spoken for about two weeks a year. Yeah, apparently you not tell me to. You do like vegetables in there, though, too, huh? Yeah, you can do carrots in there really well or stuff like that. My carrots always bum me out when I make them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I never hit carrots. I haven't ever roasted a perfect carrot. I mean, never. I'll roast the shit out some broccoli easy. Yeah, secrets I was low and slow. It's everything. Nobody even bit on your little carrot remark. Did you have a bit?
Starting point is 00:18:19 Did you do a carrot bit? Carats are gross. I just said they're gross. I don't even been. Oh, you mean the vegetable that's full of sugar? If I had to listen to everything you said that was gross, I'd fucking kill my syrup. I would have thought you liked carrots because it's like a vegetable that's sweet. There's no consistency.
Starting point is 00:18:33 I hear right. It's like cardboard. That doesn't even make sense. No, it doesn't. I can eat a carrot, but it is. Are you talking like a raw carrot or have you never just like cooked a carrot? I love a raw carrot too. Rock carrots are great.
Starting point is 00:18:44 They're better, but they're still not good. There were raw carrots on the table of dinner last night. Did you not have any? I had a few. Okay. How'd that go? It was they're fine. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:18:51 What I'm hearing is the pocket. I brought up in what will be an episode now that comes out in the future. But what a harrowing experience it is going to a Middle Eastern restaurant with someone who's fluent in Arabic. Yes. When you go, what was the word where you're like, I'm going to kill you? I blew it. Say the age like you're bombing up your glasses. I blew it 15 times in a row.
Starting point is 00:19:13 I thought you were toning here one point. I was that. You got it so wrong so many times in a row. Because he kept doing one of these ages and you're like, no, it's a. Yeah. Well, I didn't start on her. So the word is... I think the word was Muhammada,
Starting point is 00:19:27 which is like a red pepper dip. It's delicious. You probably had it if you've been to any Middle Eastern restaurant. And Ian's like Muhammad. I was like, yeah, Muhammad. And then you tried to do it so many times you went Muhammad. I was like, oh, no, it's an H, not a K-H.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Sounds right when you say it. And then you went, muhammerra again. I was like, I'm going to kill you. Wait, try it now? Nope. Oh, shit. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I do think I have it.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Muhammadara. Perfect. Muhammad. Yes. Muhammara. Mahmara. Fogging the glasses. Fogging the glasses.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah, there's two letter. My voice is so close to when I'm fogging up the glass. Don't do it. Mahmara. It's breathing deep from the belly. Muhammad. You did it on accident, didn't you? Yeah, but that's because I've sleep apnea.
Starting point is 00:20:12 A pug fighter jet. Yeah, exactly. Muhammad. Got on it. It's pretty good. Thank you. Decent. As long as no one attempts to actually say my name
Starting point is 00:20:20 the way it's supposed to be pronounced. How is your name supposed to be pronounced? Shack or salmon. That's close now. You say Zeeke. Zeke money, actually. Isaiah Thomas stole it for me, actually. What is your, how is the...
Starting point is 00:20:33 Shacket. Shacker. Oh, you just said, don't do it. We all did it immediately. Not we all. Carms fucking laid the cut. When I was five years old, I got so frustrated of people saying it wrong that I came home from school and I said, I'm shocker now.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Will you say one more time properly? Shackard. That's awesome. I see, I could have sworn we did that. Yeah, Shaq and Wendr's Menn, is my full name in Arizona. God, that's awesome. Shocker Mons or Saman. Did you ever consider going by Shaq?
Starting point is 00:20:59 No, because, and I'll tell you why, because my cousins who, also Arabs, obviously, ask me the same thing. No. Lakership? Lakers. I was a Pistons fan. O-4 NBA finals. I was like, no, no, no. You were like, call me Rip Hamilton.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yes. Got the face mask. I had the, every, every kid in Detroit had. a fake afro like Ben Wallace. We don't have to talk about the cultural appropriation nature of it. Oh, no, let's get into it. Mine was red and blue. You talked.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Culturally, I thought Ben Wallace was the coolest guy at that time. He was. The worst free-dor-hury-nobst-histor in NBA history. Toughest motherfucker. He's so terrifying. That guy's from Alabama. For real. Six-foot-nine from Virginia Union University,
Starting point is 00:21:44 undrafted shutting down shack in the NBA finals. What are you talking about? That man's smaller than LaBrona. Hair. Hair. A kimbo. He had the ultimate warrior biceptides. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Wrestler shit. He's terrifying. It's nuts. I love him so much. Fucking shout to Ben Wallace. My second favorite Wallace who played on the Pistons. Well, because we share the twin pillars of society. As we found out in a previous episode, Paula Abdul, Syrian Jew.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Syrian Jew. Rashid Wallace, Trailblazer Piston. Let's go. And if somebody from Atlanta wants to get in for a second. Or I guess later on with the Celtics. If someone from Atlanta wants to get in, I will sell you my Atlanta Hawks, Rashid Wallace jersey. You have that, the throwback one? I have one.
Starting point is 00:22:28 It is four sizes too large. I'm never getting ready. So you have Rashid Wallace is. How did this never happen? How did you guys never talk about it? I don't know. It was my holy grail. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:38 You have like a 5X? I think it's like a 3X. It's awesome. It's one of those like, I'm saving it for one of those like trading a paper clip for a house things. Like I'm going to trade my Rashid Wallet. 3x Atlanta Hawks jersey for a Mitsubishi. Yeah, I get that.
Starting point is 00:22:51 I think you could. I think you find the right person. You get a Mitsubishi and the wrong Mitsubishi. The right person and the wrong Mitsubishi. Oh, yeah, you can make that turn of half. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever run Mitsubishi? Never, have I ever had one?
Starting point is 00:23:02 Yeah. Nope. Probe Centra. 2007 Saturni on Jet Black, on Star Equip. Gone. None of those are even Mitsubishi. Ewick, the Miracle Whip, whatever that was. And then now I got, now I was just going over my car.
Starting point is 00:23:14 My rental car out front, Mitsubishi. You're Bishin? I'm Bishin? Eclipse? Adam had one of those. Eclipse was such a hot girl car. Adam had one. He had a talent, I think.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Eagle Talon was like the lower one. Is that not Mitsubishi? No, Eagle Talon, it looked like an eclipse, but it wasn't an eclipse. What was Eagle the car company? Yeah, it was an Eagle Talent. And it looked just like a Mitsuban. Yeah, I think he, I got to ask him now. I'm too young to understand.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Not to generalize. The Mitsubishi eclipse was a hot girl car. And at least in Beaverton, Oregon at Westview High School, a cool Korean dude car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And look at it, so little has changed. So little has changed. But it was one of those like early, early, like people were like doing shit the cars.
Starting point is 00:23:58 It looked crazy. Running lights and stuff like that. Like lowering on stuff. Yeah, I'm going to get ground effects. They had to go like four miles an hour when it was raining. I remember that because they just couldn't go through a puddle. The dips, the street dips, they'd be like tearing it. You'd hear like the puss, puss.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Yeah. And then they'd stop like and then just. barely go over the man shan't all the guys who just did the one thing to their car the bubbly tape on the back window yeah yeah like oh I got it I got an exhaust on my CRX yeah
Starting point is 00:24:28 truly the one thing a year's worth of pizza schmiza salary poured in I had a lot of homies making their own boxes yeah you remember that guys making their own boxes yeah yeah oh you just need some my brother yeah it was like you would put Smith had like
Starting point is 00:24:45 a speaker back there like a speaker back there like a that you'd see in an old, like a stepdad. What do you have a dub seven? It was like a wood speaker. Like it wasn't, it didn't look like it was supposed to be in a car. It looked like it was part of a sound system in a house or something. Yeah, it was like wood and everything. And it was just hooked up like just a giant woofer or something.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Yeah, what kind of, uh, what kind of app was he rocking Rockford Fosgate? I'd probably rock Foss. Rock Foss. Probably Rock Foss. You guys remember, do you guys remember when the decks came out that like they could press the button and like the screen came out and up. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Man. I remember detachable faces. I'm about to slide off the couch. Let me, let me cut you up. I'll go ahead and go for a text. I'll talk. I'll talk.
Starting point is 00:25:28 It detachable face tape player. And my buddy Nick would detach it and we're like, ain't nobody taking your tape. He walked around the mall with his radio face off. Bring it in his pocket into the mall. It's exactly what he did. There's a Kanye line. Really?
Starting point is 00:25:42 Yeah. Oh, yeah. From drive slow. Oh, yeah. That's right. I never wanted. any of that, but I always thought it looked so cool. I never wanted it because the bar
Starting point is 00:25:51 to entry was like... So high. I was like, I don't think I'm going to get a car. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now we're talking boxes. Doing stuff too. There's too many steps. Man, a whole system was like you had to have a box, a speaker, amps, deck. Like, it was like,
Starting point is 00:26:08 I'm not going. My parents don't go to car toys. I'm going to go to car toys. My whole goal was to have a car I could drive drunk and not and not causing you. And for that, you needed no ground effects. That's right. You don't want to be drunk and be like 99 problems would sound great right now. As loud as it could possibly go.
Starting point is 00:26:27 It sounded shitty most of the time. Oh, at least from the outside. From the outside, it was like rattling in the car. Are you saying a Mitsubishi eclipse is not like a sonafiles dream? No. It's not made for audio. My rental car fucking sucks. The audio sucks.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Okay. This is a man who thinks that live conference. are bad because the audio is I don't know if I can trust you on this one. That's who you want in the ones and twos, I'll tell you that. But he can cue the shit out of some E. Fuck yeah. What does that mean? Thanks, music. You tell us, dude. You don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:57 You're a sexual dude. Trying to say EQ cool. Oh, oh, that's right. Fuck, man. It's me. It's me. I'm the problem. I like that. Now, what does that mean, though? I just didn't get the reference. No, it didn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:27:13 He's got a Wikipedia page back. They're just like how to sound engineer. Do you remember in the, what's the fucking, what was that documentary with the Wu Tang? Swering about it doesn't help. It was in the Defiant ones. You fucking creep. It was the Defiant ones when he's like, Wu Tang was ready. So in that part that later on Defiant ones where they're like showing how like Dr. Ray EQ's cars and stuff.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Oh, like he didn't. It started to become like an Apple commercial a little bit. Wasn't it like he just sat in a car? Yeah. Yeah. Which sometimes you got to sit in a car when an album comes out. I remember when 444 came out, me and Johan Miranda just got in his car and drove around and listened to it. We would drive, look, when I had my dad's one of them.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Monster, that's how I heard Monster. You took me around and listened to good music, right? Yeah, yeah. We just drove around Northwest. This was the first time we ever really hung out, like, in a car. Yeah. Not at a bar where, like, you came to the crib. We're like, let's go drive around and listen to music.
Starting point is 00:28:06 What's crazy is someone had paid me to drive you to the industrial district and kill you that night. But, like, we were friends you. But he was like good friends where he was like, yeah, it was no close. no idea how close it got. You just have like a cocked gun in your pocket the whole time. I was like, what's your favorite song? Just tell me I want you to hear it one last time. Her name is Nikki Minaj? That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Her name is Nikki Threeway. Nikki Threesome. Nicole Threesome is what this woman's name is. Nicole! Look at it out. It's been a while. This is John Cooper Mellon, Jordan? Oh, sorry, brother. My father, brother. He didn't even check this one.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Oh, no, I was looking at some. I know, isn't it? This is going to come out at the beginning. February 5th now. I think already did it. Come to Omaha. Watch my don't tell set. CS in New Orleans.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Same. Same. Shocker, do you have anything you'd like to more people? Same, same, same. Watch the Winter Olympics. Yeah. Watch the Winter Olympics. You know, you don't have to root for America.
Starting point is 00:29:06 And maybe you shouldn't. But watch the Winter Olympics. Well, watch the Winter Olympics. Yeah. I like that you were coy right there. Who's the most ethically. supportable country in the winter Sierra Leone. Sierra Leone. Are they
Starting point is 00:29:18 in the Winter Olympics? No, I don't think. Do we think that they have a single, have they ever had a Winter Olympics athlete? No, I don't think so. Or find this out. About Canada. We haven't had a lot of Summer Olympics at that. I'm Ian Carmel. You know, Ian Carmel on all socials. Buy your book. Read my book, T-shirt Swim Club.
Starting point is 00:29:36 You should buy a copy. That's what I was saying. I have several covers. Several copies. I thought they all sold. I sent me. Every single one of them. I'm holding on under the way one would invest in gold or even a Bitcoin. Hot jazz fat tits? Hot jazz fat tits. Was that what it was?
Starting point is 00:29:51 I think so. I don't know what that is yet. A call forward is kind of tight though. You saw the future. Watch my special comfort beyond God foresight. God's foresight. God's foresight. God's foresight.
Starting point is 00:30:05 God Forsyt played a... He taught Rick Rubin everything he knows. That's right. That's his gamer tag. We're here to drop the Winter Olympics in general. Now, there aren't, maybe there's enough events for us to draft, but we're just drafting the Winter Olympics. So it could be an event. It could be, it could be a specific moment. It could be any number of things.
Starting point is 00:30:24 We're going to find out the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors. Played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. All right. Here we go. Rock paper, scissors, shoot. Ooh, Shocker wins. A scissor against two rocks in a natural victory, but a victory all the same. Shocker, as the winner, it's incumbent upon you to determine the order.
Starting point is 00:30:43 order of today's draft, but before you do that, it will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? Look at you. It's a great question. Cremax B, baby, baby. He's out. This thing, we'll start with your shoulders. It's like, it's so crazy. Why do you do it so weird?
Starting point is 00:30:58 You dance. I do it like somebody shot me with a tranquilizer gun. You remind me of like a sick bird. Sick and mean cool and you could have gone a cool way with it. That's not what he meant. Like a molting, you're like, uh-oh. You see that bird and you're like, uh-oh. You put it in a shoebox, take it to the garage.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Yeah, and you're like, you don't tell the kids about it. Yeah. A volunteer covers you in dove. Yeah. Someone says a prayer as they bring you in. Excuse me, we're going to film this. When you used to dab, it was like that too. Don't.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Or do or whatever. I mean, like, we're on YouTube now if you want to see Sean dab. Sneaky little ways. What's up, y'all? It's like, I imagine cleaning a theater after a show. Sure. You're not going to go all the way to one aisle and then go back down that same aisle. You're going to go all the way down one row of seats down and then back to the other row of seats.
Starting point is 00:31:49 That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. That always seems like when the game's over and you're watching people do that job and you're like, there's a lot of seats in this one. A lot of seeds. Yeah. And there's a lot of spilled popcorn. Yeah, you're like, I spilled my diet Pepsi.
Starting point is 00:32:03 You remember to a baseball game and just see someone just the mountain of peanut shells? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been that man. Yeah, yeah. What do you do? You know. No, no, sure.
Starting point is 00:32:11 I'm just like, man, wouldn't want to clean my house. I feel bad on a plane. When people leave their shit on a plane, it's like, take it. I got sassed the other day. Deservedly or undeservedly? I'll listen. Deservedly or undeservedly? In my opinion, well, you tell me, for trying to hand her, we had, like, we bought a sandwich at the airport.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yes. And brought it on the plane. And it came in like a little cardboard box for handing the flight attendant when she was taking garbage at the box. What she said? She was like, I'm not taking that right now. Oh, really? And they kept like, but she was taking other garbage?
Starting point is 00:32:41 Yes. But were they doing this? stacking the cups. They were stacking the cups but she also had a big bag of garbage. So, I don't think I deserve that sass. Did you go buy facer with it?
Starting point is 00:32:50 I took over the cockpit and I landed the plane in a non-expedition country. It wouldn't happen if you were there. No, no fucking way. Dropped it on the runway. I hope the runway can take it. Now it's in Bolivia.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Yeah, I know. Sometimes I'll get to do the same thing, big box or whatever, like even whatever, McDonald's bag, but I was eating like a, I don't know, I don't know why that would happen,
Starting point is 00:33:10 pull it on my back of or whatever, but you handed to him and get to eat a little tone. A little bit. I don't ever bring food on the plane. I rarely do. Yeah. I do a lot.
Starting point is 00:33:20 I hate it when people bring hot food on the plane. I don't like it. You got to eat it at the game. Stanky food is so crazy. Plains are meant for boxed salads. Yeah. A Caesar salad you paid eight times too much for. It tastes like garbage.
Starting point is 00:33:33 I mean, you can bring a Caesar wrap on there. These were cold sandwiches that we brought. That's good. I'll bring a Caesar wrap. I'll bring like a very odorous McDonald's on there. Yeah. You got like a Chick-fil-A and it's like you should have ate that at Chick-fil-A at the gate. There be those people.
Starting point is 00:33:48 That being said, I'm going to eat that vegetarian lasagna. Absolutely. Come on, Delta. Good. I like Delta's food. I like Delta's food too. If you pick fourth in the first and you pick first in the second. With that mind, what would the order of today's ref be?
Starting point is 00:34:01 Me, David, Sean, Ian. Shocker, David, Sean. Ian on the hot corner! Shocker has the first pick in the Winter Olympics, All Fantasy. fantasy draft. And we're going to get to that first pick right after this short break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. What is Cracken? All family. It is February. It is the month of love, the month of flowers, the month of candy. Everyone can get a little overwhelmed. It feels like everyone's got it all together. Everyone's in a relationship. It's functioning fully.
Starting point is 00:34:35 And sometimes you feel left out in the cold. I get it. You know, it's everyone's happy. You watch romantic movies and it's easy to get a little bummed out. Don't let that happen. Don't worry about anything like that. Talk to somebody. Those are those are the ways to help. That's like on the ground floor, you talk to someone, you get a new set of ears on any issues you think you're having because your problems are your own. No matter where you're at in your romantic journey, just to use that as an example, it can always be overwhelming. There's ebbs. There's flows. I don't know which one's top and bottom. I'm going to say ebbs is up here. Flows is down here. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I could talk to a therapist about that.
Starting point is 00:35:13 But it can just help you find your way. It can help you see a little more clearly. It can help you realize where you want to be, what you're looking for, if things are going the way you want them to. And if they're not, maybe you pursue other options, all those things. You can get help by talking to somebody else. You know, it's one thing to think about talking to somebody, but when you actually go do it, it's going to help tremendously.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Better help their therapists. They work according to a strict code of conduct. They're fully licensed in the U.S. They have a therapist match commitment, which means they want you to find the right therapist. So if you start off, you're spilling the beans and it doesn't quite work for you, you can get matched to the new therapist at any time, free of charge, no problem at all. All you do to sign up, I've done it myself, you go fill out a short questionnaire.
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Starting point is 00:36:26 So they got it. They figured it out. They're doing something right. So get over there. Get another set of ears on it. Don't let this month overwhelm you. Just check in with yourself, you know, and do it with better help.
Starting point is 00:36:38 sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash all fantasy. That's better. H-E-L-P dot com slash all fantasy. This episode of All Fantasy, everything is brought to you by factor. You want to eat better. Of course you want to eat better. Deep down, everybody wants to eat better, but you ain't got the time.
Starting point is 00:36:56 You got the energy. Same thing with me. I got a kid. That takes all the time and all the energy. And when they're at daycare, I want to watch Lord of the Rings sometimes. You know, just meal prep, things like that. in theory, it's a lot easier than in practice.
Starting point is 00:37:10 That's what I've found. And Factor is already made by chefs designed by dieticians and delivered to your door. You heat it for two minutes and you eat it. You heat it and eat it. And you can do that while you're doing other stuff, like babysitting my daughter if you want to. They got lean proteins. They got the veggies. They got good, solid, cooked ingredients, those healthy fats, which I keep hearing about.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Stuff that you would do if you were making your own food. you just don't have the time to do it. And it's 100 rotating meals every single week. High protein if you're in the, if you're bulking. You know what I'm saying? Bro, if you're bulking. Calorie smart. If you're slimming, bro, if you're slimming. Mediterranean, if you're training. You get it Mediterranean. Anyway, we're funny. But they got everything covered. Whatever you want to do, give it a try. No one's got that much time. I like all the options. Honestly, they work in like a nice garlic chicken breast situation for me. They get those green beans in there. It's just perfect.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Try it. Do it. You will love it. Head to factormeals.com slash all fantasy 50 off and use code all fantasy 50 off to get 50% off your first factor box plus free breakfast for one year. Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase make healthier eating easy with factor. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. Shocker is about to take the first pick in the Winter Olympics All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Draft. Shocker. With the first pick, which some might, it's first, some might say it's the gold medal pick. Ah. I'm going with thinking you know better than the judges. I like that a lot. Oh, I like that a lot.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Perfect. Winter Olympics, you know, summer Olympics, there's a lot of sports that are like, you know, they're objective. It's like, who's the fastest, who's the strongest. It's when the cavemen were dominating. Winter Olympics, there's a lot of, there's a lot of sports that are, you know, winter Olympics, there's a lot of sports were a judge is involved. Who did the best flip? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Who did the best routine? Yeah. I like watching some. I don't know anything about anything. I like watching a Winter Olympic sport and be like, that was a pretty cool trick. I think it's better than that other trick. And then finding out that I'm wrong and me like, no, no, no, that judge is biased. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Someone's slow. That's corruption. Someone slipped him 100. Yeah. This Spaniard doesn't know what he's talking about. You know? Yeah. A 5.3.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Exactly. Also, what are the scores out of? They don't really. It's because. Right. So, at least based in the Summer Olympics, the reason they changed it so there's no longer, like, a perfect 10 anymore. Yeah. It was because it was so easy to rig.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Right. So now there's a difficulty score and an execution score, and it's like a multiplier. I thought it was because of the magazine. Well, this, unfortunately, she scored a hustler. People are Google in Perfect 10. Well, I'm going to have to give it a penthouse. But, like, figure skating, it's like five. It's like 5.1.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah, figure skating is always confusing. Yeah, and they're like, oh my God, no one's ever gotten to 5.1 before. And it's like, well, they landed a quadruple axle and that raised their difficulty. It's like, no, shut up. That was cool. It was cooler than that other thing. Yeah. That is true.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Front or backwards. That's what I want to know about. Sideways. Yeah, that's always. Sometimes that too. When they spin, I'm just like, bro, if they spin for 30 seconds, they win. They're going to die. Their brain's got to be scrambled to shit.
Starting point is 00:40:27 They deserve a W. You've watched for like two days in a row so they're like, I'm pretty fucking intimately familiar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did set aside time and sit here. Yeah. That is funny. Like when you do 5.1 and you're like, five point one, I got a 5.1 because it's Tuesday. I got 5.1 for you to my pants.
Starting point is 00:40:44 What the Soviet? Oh, God. That's the funniest. That's the funniest length to claim hard for your penis. 5.1 inches. This is a very reasonable amount of dick. 5.1 is so perfect too because there's not a tape measure doesn't show point one. You got a laser load.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah, I figured that out. You're in the game with 5.1. You know what I mean? Nothing more, nothing less. 5.1. Yeah. No, I'll show it. Probably pretty right.
Starting point is 00:41:14 That's what 5.1 is. I'll show it. Yeah, I'll show it. What's the average hog is five inches, right? Isaac. Why are you rubbing your head? I am rubbing my hands. What are you planning?
Starting point is 00:41:27 There's so many things. I got about 20 inches a dick to rip off in here. The average penis is 5.21 inches. You know what's crazy is that we haven't done this before? Yeah, yeah. Drafting penis sizes? No, just had him Googled. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:41:46 I am in incognita mode. Yeah, right. I heard that doesn't work. What are you afraid of? No, did you hear that? What? It doesn't work? Sean's like, I got to wipe some stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:00 That's like that podcast. You're lying. You're lying to me. You can take screenshots. Delia, yeah. Delia, yeah. What do you mean? He was like, people can't tell what you Snapchat.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Yeah. It's an old bit, but somebody, and I've said it before, but somebody on Instagram, they're like, what you should be able to track is who's going like this on your pictures? Who's like zooming in and out? That'd be. Christ. No. Oh, that's.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Awesome. No, yeah, I don't want anybody to know where I'm at on that minute. Thinking you know better than that. Like, if that happened, I would get a second phone just to take screenshots of the first phone so I could do it in privacy. Your screenshot. I'll zoom it on that. David, your first pick. How'd they get there?
Starting point is 00:42:45 Go on. When you're like. We're treading lightly on this. Well, sometimes you're watching and you're like. Black Skier for Switzerland. Or you're like, Toboggin skeleton expert. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:09 I have a joke about it. It's on Comedy Central. It's a great. It's a great joke. There are a lot of how they get theirs, whether it is a black Swedish ski jumper or if it's even like, how do you get there being someone who does skeleton at all? It just feels like there's more of that than in the summer games.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Yeah. Like there's a lot of it obviously in the summer games, but it's usually just like, oh, their parents are French and they couldn't do it in the U.S. or something like that. Yeah. It feels like there's a lot more shit moving around in the winter games. Yeah. And a lot of, a lot of Olympia hopefuls like the Jamaican bobsled team where it's like, we kind of just ended up over here. It feels like it feels like a lot more like refugees from other sports. I think you're right about that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they get there's pretty fun. And it's always fun because you're like, maybe they, and then part of you's like, maybe they're Danish. I don't know who lives there.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Maybe they've been Danish for, for generations. And then they do the interview and you're like, no, that guy's from Houston. Yeah, that guy is full. All right. All right, let's figure it out. Talking about all the slabs that he sees around Oslo. Maybe studied abroad there for like three months.
Starting point is 00:44:24 We're in the living room. I'm like, I told you, Alana. You said I was being racist I told you I told you he's not from Monaco That guy knows who Slim Thug is Yeah yeah yeah But yeah it's always fun
Starting point is 00:44:36 It's not just black people No No no no no Sean Your bad about the Olympics is fucking fun Thank you thank you thank you Curling just Just the sport of curling
Starting point is 00:44:52 Just the sport of curling Now that it's been You don't know my favorite part of curling and this is what I was going to pick. Oh, well, I can get more specific if you want. No, no, no. When it gets chunky. This is more like a fun, creative way to do what you just did.
Starting point is 00:45:03 I wanted them all. I wanted this whole. Yes, let's hear it. My favorite part, obviously, I'm just joking about that. I know that, yeah. He's not, by the way. Yep. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Good eyebrows on you. If you want to see how hard I just stared him down, join us on YouTube. Getting it in there. I'm not making this YouTube push for any reason other than I always forget to bring it up. They're also fun bits. You've done fun bits. They're fun bids for all of them.
Starting point is 00:45:27 There's like fun visual bit. When they say, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, hard. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Like the things they yell like during curling. Yeah. Sweep, sweep, yep, yep, yep, yep. It sounds so funny. It's funny on its own if you listen on mute.
Starting point is 00:45:42 And then when you turn it on, you're like, what? It is tight. I love their faces too. Yeah. Like, but they're also moving. Yeah. Like it's just like this like paused. The delicate, just like.
Starting point is 00:45:54 And how they stop, like they'll keep their hand going up. and then at the very end where they're like screaming. Yeah. The sweeper dudes are just fucking screaming. They're sweeping so hard. Because the last 10 years rides on this couple inches. We got invited to a curling club. Did you?
Starting point is 00:46:09 We all did. We've talked about curling on here. Somebody DMed me years ago. Really? I would love to try it. It was like in Pasadena or something. There's a curling club in Paso? It's in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Yeah. I got to check this out. If you still listen, hit us up. Yeah. Let's all go curling. When I was doing radio in Madison, I went on the sports radio there and it's like an Olympic curdler
Starting point is 00:46:29 is like one of the two. There's like a regular dude and the other guy's an Olympic curdler by chance. A hurdler and a curdler and a curdler? And a curdler, a milk guy. A curdler and a hurdler. He was not a hurdler. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:41 He was just like Dexter. He's a current Olympic curling? I think he might be because I don't know how in shape you got to be the rest of the year if you're on the curler. It also feels like you could be in Wisconsin. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Yeah. Right? Yeah. You could do it do with cheese. wheels. Yeah. That's how it was invented. I also like that they're called,
Starting point is 00:46:59 I like that they're called stones. Like it seems more, you know? Yeah. Stones. Yeah. I just got a new stone. I'm going to be in the Olympics with it. I got to say,
Starting point is 00:47:10 I love it when you do that. I do too. It's pretty good. Thank you. Do you think they're like, because you said they can be out of shape? What if they, what if they don't?
Starting point is 00:47:17 What if they try to keep it in decent condition all year and like mind, body kind of. Well, then she won't leave. She won't. She'll stick around. I know you got to be able to squat pretty deep. Yeah. I'm sure balance is important. Man.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Oh my gosh. If I try sweeping that heart standing up on the ground, I would follow. Yeah. Do you sweep a lot? I mean, I have a vacuum. You ever got your hands on a stone? What am I sweeping in my living room? I got my hands on a stone once.
Starting point is 00:47:42 You picked up a stone? It's heavy. Yeah, like around the corners and stuff like that. What are the vacuum's for? You don't sweep, huh? I sweep. You never sweep? A vacuum and I mop.
Starting point is 00:47:51 What if we mop? I'll sweep outside. If there's like... Mopping in your head. house to me feels crazy. I don't wash your floors? Why? I used to mop at work and shit.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I mean, I used to mop grocery store floors and shit when I work there. I'm saying like when I'm off inside the house, I feel weird doing it. You swift? Do you swiffer? Well, I don't do it a ton, Lord. I'll sweep and I'll vacuum because I know what I'm doing. I used to hate mopping at work. You got to put the sign up.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Yeah. And then you got to squeeze the, you put the mop in and you just go squeeze it out. I liked the squeeze. Squeeze is the fun as part of the whole. mop experience. I got one of those steam mop so you just put some water in there and turn it on and so it's like hot hot water. You're hot mopping?
Starting point is 00:48:32 Hot mopping. Our shit is like a weird pad heated thing and then you press a button and sprays it's great. Yeah, we did that's what we got. It's really great too. We just got a new one. It's really good. Curling. What was I going to say?
Starting point is 00:48:51 I'll get more specific on the next one. It's going to be awesome. I was going to say something awesome. I can't remember. I don't believe you. Don't believe you. It always does. Sean took curling. You're going on to that lifesaver more.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Tune in on YouTube to find out how long he's been holding an unwrapped life saver. Is that unwrapped? Yeah. It's a lucid. He like, he like, I'm being interrogatedly unwrapped it and just held onto it. Okay. I'm going to take, this is a little bit. I didn't want to, I didn't delve too deep into how they get there.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Yeah. Because I wanted to take this as his own pick. But Bob Sletter chicanery is my pick. Like, there's, I feel like there's four people on a bobsled, and I feel like two of them need to know what they're doing. And then the other two, it's just like, you'll get people who did other Olympic sports. Yeah. Just because there's their weight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:41 So front and back need to know what they're doing. Well, it just seems like you can kind of gum up the, like the middle guys can sort of be anybody. Like knock around guys. Yeah. Did you see this story from like yesterday? No. So from whatever U.S. bobsleder, it was the two-man bobsled. No, sorry, the four-man bobsled.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Three of his teammates failed to make it in the bobsled when they launched. So it was just one man doing a solo ride. Solo? Which, so he had no control over the fucking thing. The prince who was promised. Yeah. Is there a video? Was it the driver?
Starting point is 00:50:10 It was the front. The driver got in first, as is common in bobsled. But his three teammates all had trouble getting in, leaving him to navigate the course with no other weight in the sled and nobody to pull the brakes at the box. That has to be dangerous. The article is headline, Chris Horn, okay, after solo ride. So he had to been terrified for what a minute?
Starting point is 00:50:28 It had to be, yeah. Damn. So you got to lean back and pull the brakes? Yeah, 75 miles an hour over a minute, drove it on his own, but he basically had to scoot to the back, lose control of the steering to grab the brakes so we didn't crash head first.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Oh, God. The other guys are just up there like, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Chris. Sorry, Chris. Sorry, Chris. Sorry, buddy.
Starting point is 00:50:51 I played badminton. Yeah. I shouldn't be. here, but. Who started Bob Slud? Bob. I walked in. I should have known who was home.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Should have known who was home. They were built in the late 19th century in St. Moritz, Switzerland by wealthy tourists. San Maritz, please. San Moritz. Wealthy tourists from Victorian Britain. So British people. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:24 So other... Something right. Goddamn redcoats. Many bobsleders transition from other explosive sports. All right, calm down. Bopsledon.com. Lauren Williams. Hyalaius Fountain.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Herschel Walker? Was Goldwein-stalker? Yeah. Wait. The guy who's the failed Senate candidate from Georgia? The guy who set up the Dallas Cowboys? He did do that. Hershawaker was a member of the U.S.
Starting point is 00:51:50 bobsled team of the 1992 Winter Olympics. What? Barcelona? not or not what's that lily hammer Albert Hill France he was a pushman where was that Albertville France he had been playing football already yeah he'd already bombed out
Starting point is 00:52:04 of football right he bombed out I'm telling you like right after he bombed out chicanery yeah yeah yeah it's proven what a life yeah wild he didn't do anything else right that was that after that yeah he's all good that he cash out so yeah bob slender check I just love it
Starting point is 00:52:19 there's usually whether it's the Jamaican bobsled team where it's like cool kind of chicanery where it's like, who would have thought this going to happen? Or it's like, this motherfucker, these two guys don't have to do anything. Bob's looking jacanry and my second pick. Swedish people. I like seeing them.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Architecture-wise or? Face. I like, I like, I just like, it's like, there's, they're all big up there. They're so big. They're up there just huge. They're usually hot and they're always big. And they're always blonde. They're always, yeah, the blonde, which, like...
Starting point is 00:53:01 They all seem like strong swimmers, too. They're just so big and they're so, like, beautiful. I'm like, a lot of our Olympians are not... They're hot because they're in amazing shape. But, like, Swedes are just, like, beautiful. You don't think our Olympians are beautiful? I don't think many of our bobsleders are beautiful. I don't know what our lineup is.
Starting point is 00:53:20 I don't know what I... Look at Swedish bobslers. My buddy, yes, for he lives in Sweden, and he was here for my friend's wedding in Sioux Falls. So it was yes for his brother Daniel and their two partners in Sioux Falls with all of us Sue Falls folk. Were they great looking?
Starting point is 00:53:33 We're outside at a bar and everybody who walked by was like, whoa. It just, they locked on to these four perfect these four gorgeous. They're all in shape. They're not like athletes or anything. They're just in shape. My wife went over there and she was like to Sweden
Starting point is 00:53:48 and she was like fucking blown away because like at some point, they reach saturation on models, but they have too many hot people. So it's like, I'm sorry, you have to, like, work for UPS or be a barista. Like, because we just have too many hot people in the hot people position,
Starting point is 00:54:05 but then they have all these other hot people. So I just like seeing Swedish people at the Olympics. It's usually like, it's like what you think of when you think of a Winter Olympian, like in a movie, like a bad guy. It just looks like Sean's Instagram about Malikiova. You think of Malikio. I think of Dougie Doug.
Starting point is 00:54:22 And Swedish people. And I think of the guys, the Iceland guys from D3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's kind of what I mean. That's the same thing. Everybody's got the same jawline. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just like seeing Swedish people.
Starting point is 00:54:38 I like seeing Swedish people in context. You know what's crazy to me? You see a Swedish guy. You never feel like this is crazy. Go on. Yeah, you got it. So excited to see where this goes. You don't think about what their penis is like.
Starting point is 00:54:54 No. Because it's beautiful like You're not thinking like Because you see like a six No I mean I just It feels they feel they don't Probably about 5.1 2 inches Beauty to me
Starting point is 00:55:04 No it's not no It's what you said earlier Architecturally Yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah Just a big structure Sturdy stuff I don't think of them as sexual beings
Starting point is 00:55:14 But I bet they do I bet they're fucking in like saunas They probably fucking sonnas Because they love sonnas right Yeah And they put their babies in the snow He's a big sauna guy Future sauna guy
Starting point is 00:55:22 Future sauna guy What isn't it all of Scandinavian you don't think. I don't know. Sana's finish, but I know it probably goes out. Oh, they're all in hot rooms.
Starting point is 00:55:30 They have a word for it called Bastu. All right. You just sauna culture. Oh, okay. I thought that was fucking in the sauna. I don't know why I said sauna like that. Sauna. Guys, we gotta get to Wee's ball.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Let's get in the sauna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to be naked. You don't have to go to the... Look at Sean. Put a towel on. I'll get naked. You don't have to go to the naked part.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Okay. The sanas aren't, the pools are naked. The sanas are upstairs in the car. Can I wear trunks in the pool or no way? I don't know. Can you, Isaac? I've only been there once. I think you technically can. But I mean, you're leaving the towel like right up.
Starting point is 00:56:04 I think the South Korean flag on the back and it's like a cool thing I'm doing. I think they might arrest you for cultural appropriation. Okay. Okay. What if it's the North Korean flag? What if I'm with and I might say I was a black belt? At one point I knew what that whole flag meant. What if he says taekwondo, right?
Starting point is 00:56:19 Taekwondo. But also, I do think you're going to get in there and you'll get in the. the vibe of. The spirit will take me. And you'll want to get in naked. So when in Rome, though? But if you could put it on trunks, would you go? Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. We could all go in trunks. We're, we're, I'll put on clothes. Matching trunks. I'll put on clothes.
Starting point is 00:56:36 I'll put on clothes to support you. Matching trunks? Oh, where. It's not required that I go naked. I'll go. I'll go. I kind of think it is. He's not. They want you to be naked. No, I'm saying. Isaac, can you look up the rules of we spot. We can go. I'm saying, I'm not requiring myself to be naked. If they require, there's nothing I could do. Hands are tied. My wife would be this, but we could go after this. You're touching you a lot, but... Today I have to go home because Dana's a Disneyland.
Starting point is 00:56:59 That's fair. That's fair. You got to wear clothes there. I got a 10-press-I-garet. I got a 10 entrance. Wow. 10 entrance pass. I got a 5.1.
Starting point is 00:57:08 That's why I don't necessarily want to be. I got a 5.21 because I'm average below, baby. Sean, your second pet. I might try to go over. Okay, sorry. Now I'm thinking about it. The ski jump flying squirrel pose, they tell you. I like that a lot.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Oh, yeah. It's so cool. time I'm like, they're going to tear their knees. There's no way you can do that. They're locked out. There's no way that you can go 200 yards, however far they go. It's all going to explode. And then they just because they're flying squirreling. It's awesome. I love how gently they land.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Yeah. Every time it freaks me out. Do you hear that? Just a... It's just the compacted snow and it's just like, how is that so? I bet you it's so exhilarating. Oh my God. It must feel okay. I bet it's flying. Here's something. How do you fucking do it the first? stupid guy way to think about it.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I'm gonna talk. Okay, go for it. They're gonna kiss eventually. I think it's happening. We all kissed in New York years ago. Yeah. Yeah. This is post-kissed shenanigan. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Ding, ting, no, I forgot what I was gonna say. When they're in the air, I feel like a moron because I'm like, well, if I had the, if I had the balls, I could do that. Well, I could be in the air. Balls are dragged, though. But it looks like, you're like, where's the technique? That's how they scout it. They're like, find the people with the smallest balls.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Oh, my God. You could be an Olympic ski jumper. Thank you. You have the most aerodynamic sack. Your testicles are the right side, but there's too much skin. We're going to need a reduction. I think if I'm like, oh, I could do that if I just tried. But you couldn't.
Starting point is 00:58:42 The amount of technique that I bet is involved in that is staggering. Well, it's the landing. But, I mean, in the air, though, I'm sure they're doing something that I don't know that they're doing. They look taut. Yeah. Yeah. Rigidness. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:57 I also probably a lot of not panicking like in that situation. Oh, for sure. You got to be calm. Not twitching or flying to your death. Yeah. How do you do it the first time? How do you get the fucking stones? They got to do it the first time.
Starting point is 00:59:09 I bet it's probably like smaller jumps. Yeah, right? Smaller jumps for young people. Is that right? To skate camp. Pre-phone pit though. Oh, yeah. I always ask, we should ask Blair because you know it.
Starting point is 00:59:20 I bet Blair ski jumps. At one point she was the. fastest downhill skier in California. No way. Saki? Yeah. That's awesome. When she was like five.
Starting point is 00:59:29 It's really funny. She's no-biz sake in my phone. What? Do you think that? She's also a cocaine deal. I can call her and ask. Ask her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Get her on the horn and see what she has to say about skiing. I have to assume that helps with the fearlessness of going up on stage. You're downhill skiing from a five years old. Seems like it. I mean, they got to go so fast. I mean like forever, though. and you're just in the air staring. And also it's all looks like the same thing.
Starting point is 00:59:56 I don't have any depth perception. They have lines, I think, so they could, the skiers can see like what the angle is as they're coming down. Or at least like nowhere they're landing. This is a major plot point in Molly's game. What's that? It is. That terrible movie.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Yeah, well, they have, they put in the branches. Hey, that family's Colorado royalty, though. Aaron's working shouldn't direct. Aaron's working in front of the podcast, shocker. Watch out. Unbelievable writer, not a great director. Oh, I think I got her. Blair?
Starting point is 01:00:23 No, I don't know what to. Well, we'll get there. But yeah, just the flying squirrel post. It's a great post. It's iconic. I like it. Digging it. David, your second pick.
Starting point is 01:00:31 Oh, opening day fits. Yes. Yeah. So I like them, but it's so much. Not that I don't love the summer shit, even though our Paris opening day shit was kind of like, all right. I guess you look like a substitute teacher. Yeah. But like the Ralph Lauren, the winter shit.
Starting point is 01:00:49 He goes off. He's a win. He's a man of the winter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ralph Lauren's a man of the winter.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it that it looks vaguely cowboy. Yeah. Me too. But, yeah. But everybody's coolest jazz. I mean, there's so many cool jackets. I'm looking at those right now.
Starting point is 01:01:07 So many fucking cool jackets. Like, God, I love it when it's a country that you know is going to be ass, but you're like, they're not going to win any shit. They look good. Yeah, but like Mexico's shit went nuts. You know what I'm saying? The closing ceremony sweater. Oh, it's sold out my size.
Starting point is 01:01:23 I love the. The, at all sporting, but like the Nigeria World Cup 2018 jersey that, like, broke the internet because it's like that green and white stripes. Like, I love any of that. Yeah, it's like I, listen, there are too many jerseys, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Olympic apparel, though, I really love it. I got a Boogie Cousins Olympic basketball jersey. That's awesome. Big fan.
Starting point is 01:01:45 That's awesome. Named after Harper's dog, right? Named after Harper's dog. Yeah. I don't have any Olympic gear. Will you suck? I'm slipping, dude. Isaac, do I suck?
Starting point is 01:01:55 No. Thanks, man. Isaac, is it time for protecting feelings? How late it's the Olympic store open? Is there an Olympic store in Los Angeles? You don't know where it is. Look at this sweater. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Tell me you don't want this sweater. No, man, I've already looked at the stuff for this year. Oh, it's sick. Grab it for me and pay for it and don't expect to be paid back. Is that a turtleneck? That is a turtleneck. Can't do it. There's so many cool jackets.
Starting point is 01:02:18 God, there's some cool ones. So many cool fucking junkies. The issue is where, when else? you wear it. Oh, man. Some of this stuff. Well, I was going to bring this up. I think we should start wintering places.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Ooh. Okay. Sold. Sold. I've been like sort of talking about this. Domestic wintering. Yes, domestic wintering. Utah.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Let's go to Park City for a weekend. I would love. I'm down. Let's go to, let's go to Whistler weekend. Let's go to Bozeman. Hot tub. Let's go to the sky. Let's do it.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Man, that's the sun. Big sky is unbelievable. Sun River, Oregon. Sorry to go Oregon in here, but it's fucking beautiful. Hot tub at the crib. It's Mount Bachelor. I'm just making fun. It's a real bachelor.
Starting point is 01:02:56 I'm in. I think that sounds like an amazing. I love a winter trip. Yeah. We get provisions in case we get snowed in. And a hot tub. And we remember last winter, a bunch of us went to Moose Manor. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:07 We just saw a bunch of moose, hung out, roasted marshmallow. It's so fun. That sounds awesome. That is awesome. A hot alcoholic beverage. Ooh, a hot toddy? Yeah, a hot toddy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Looking at some of these. Extremely in. You can also wear it on the 4th of July. We can rent a shell. We go to Big Bear. I just like saying the word chalet. We go to Lake Arrowhead. I'd love to.
Starting point is 01:03:29 I would love to be in the end. And we go snowboarding for a day. Yeah, okay. Yeah, very dumb. I'll do that. I'm a ski. I'm a tubber. You know what?
Starting point is 01:03:36 You guys hit like a good tubing? Oh yeah. Especially when they have the thing that you connect to you and go off. You don't have to do shit. You just lay there. You tubed out? Ooh, baby. You got to get you on a tube.
Starting point is 01:03:46 I have had a traumatic skiing accident when I was a kid and since then I have not been back . Tubing is very different, though. Very different. Very different. Very different. We got to get a tube. You're not on the east type.
Starting point is 01:03:57 And then we'll get you, then we'll get you on a tube in the summer. We'll float you a river. Oh, okay. I could do river. Now, that's some mellow tubing. Floating a river is when you tie them all together. Oh, yeah. And then you got a beard.
Starting point is 01:04:07 The cooler tube right in the middle. So here's the problem with that. My hometown every single year causes an international incident because of tubing. We live on the border between the U.S. and Canada and a bunch of drunk hicks. I love you all, sort of. Canadians or Americans? Americans. Americans.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Americans? Port here in Michigan do the float down where they get in the river and they float into the lake. And the current always takes them to Canada. So you have 3,000 very drunk Americans without passports crossing an international border. That's not tubing's fault. That's their fault. Yeah, let's not blame tubing. Tubing is unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:04:43 Also, let me just, as I put the port in the cooler. Canada, if there's anything we could still connect on, it should be drunk people in a lake. they do love beer up there I've gotten pretty shitty up there those Molesons We got to like I know that it's it's a low point Maybe not all time low As they did participate in the war of 1812
Starting point is 01:05:02 For relations between U.S. and Canada But like you know We still have this It's good getting drunk with Canada Last time I was in Canada I was up there with some guy who had featured for Shane Yeah And we got out wasted and he was just like
Starting point is 01:05:15 Shane Torres is beauty Oh life spotted It was awesome. It was awesome. It was awesome. And then he showed me how hockey's progressed. They're just doing stuff with the puck they couldn't do before, bud. Look at that.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Somebody knows what they're talking about, though. Tell me that. That stuff's very interesting. Oh, yeah, dudes love hockey. They're knuckle pucking for real now. By the way, the last five minutes of this podcast is basically an episode of Shorzie season four. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Like, there's a lot of tubing. A lot of tubing. A lot of Shoresy. They all us bunny. They tube? They tube in a recent season of Shoresy. It's so good. You should start.
Starting point is 01:05:50 With Leonard Kenny to get to Shorzie, I would say. No, no, no, you can skip Letterton. It's great. I like Lettertony's great, but there are different things. Any TV show where the main character fights a lot. Yeah. I do like that. It's always interesting.
Starting point is 01:06:01 The soundtrack is really good. A lot of great 70s, 80s songs. 24. David, time of your second pick. It's my pick. What did David pick? What did David pick? I pick the fits.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Oh, yeah. Shockered time of your second and third picks. Second pick. I am going with, it sort of goes off the back of how do they get there? A regular person doing something they probably shouldn't be. So off of ski jumping starts with Eddie the Eagle, the British
Starting point is 01:06:28 man who decided to qualify for ski jumping. That is right. They made documentary. That's right. They did. Fast forward to a couple of years ago, there was a woman from San Francisco who worked in finance or something who read the rules and found that like through whatever her grandmother
Starting point is 01:06:43 or something, she was technically, I think, like Danish or Hungarian and qualified for half pipe skiing. This is a person who has probably has the ski, like, skill of any of us. She's not great. And so all the other people for her are doing, like, back flips and stuff like that. And she's just going up and down the sides. That would still be very hard to do.
Starting point is 01:07:02 How did she get into the Olympics, though? Because it's basically one of those things where, like, it's like to qualify, it's like X amount of points through the world tour or whatever. And she realized that, like, and there's like, I don't know the exact semantics, but it's, like, if I just show up to enough events, because there are not. anyone else competing from this country in this event. You get your qualifying points. You get the points and you're not competing with anyone else, so you get into the Olympics. I wouldn't want to be, I wouldn't want to do a sport that I didn't feel like I was at least sort of on the level for it.
Starting point is 01:07:35 At the same time, you don't want to spend the rest of your life saying you're an Olympian? Yeah. And don't you want to party to the Olympic Village? And I think she did it in the summer and winter Olympics. I want to say this woman did it twice. I got to check this. Yeah, it's... Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Am I one of the people everyone's like... Yeah, just gently up and down the sides. It was like everyone else is doing like, you know, back flips and twists and turns. She's like, whee. I wonder what the other Olympians thought of her. I thought it was like funny. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:58 I mean, these are like the most. Or they were like, well, I'm not getting last. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. The floor got a lot higher. Yeah. She's probably got a smile on the whole time.
Starting point is 01:08:06 I think it's that thing, though. Like, if it's like someone who it's like, they're really care and they're really trying and they qualify it and they're just not very good. I think then you're like, yeah, good for you. When it's like, you're from San Francisco and you work in finance and you game the system to be here. I'd be like, no, no, no, fuck off. What if none of them knew about bread bowls before she showed up?
Starting point is 01:08:23 And she, like, put a lot of people on to bread bowls. Kind of the way that the 92 Barcelona Olympics put the rest of the world on the basketball in 20 years. What if we get bread bowls coming from parts of the world, like, who didn't know about bread bowls? Did the 92 Olympics kind of do that? Yeah, I didn't really know that. Huge for taking basketball.
Starting point is 01:08:43 So it's like, oh, now we get goulash and bread bowls in 20 years. You know what I mean? Now we get stroganoff and bread bowls. That'll put you. you down. Yeah. Strogan off Bread Bowl.
Starting point is 01:08:52 Strogan off on a bread bowl. He's the guy who shot Archdupe Fordnan to start the war, right? Strogan off. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Strogent off. Red bowl and a bread bowl? Red bowl and a bread bowl. Red bowl and a bread bowl. I do have an update on that woman, Elizabeth Sweeney.
Starting point is 01:09:09 Okay. From Oakland, California, who was at the 2018 Olympics. She's currently attempting to qualify as a power lifter for Hungary in the 2028 summer
Starting point is 01:09:17 Olympics. All right. Pretty sick. Pretty sick. From Oakland, huh? Isaac just sent us an article on bread bowls This is fascinating I just looked it up out of curiosity
Starting point is 01:09:27 Can you fill us in to not reading? Give us some cliff notes here It says that the first known commercial version of the bread bowl originated in Dublin in the 15th century While entertaining an English duke A local Irish nobleman created the bread bowl To impress him
Starting point is 01:09:40 The ploy worked He's probably trying to make a helmet for war Some drunk guy like I'm not going out there with nothing on my head It works There's some soup in his bread The duke was like holy shit the house.
Starting point is 01:09:52 The Duke gave the nobleman money to open up a bread bowl shop in Dublin. Whoa, in 1427.
Starting point is 01:09:59 That's right. Wow. Ahead of the curve. Wow. And they've been coasting on that ever since. We didn't contribute a lot,
Starting point is 01:10:09 but it mattered. Bless you. Thank you. And your third pick. The Cold War. The Cold War. I'm taking the cold war. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Yeah. Like, come on. Miracle. like also just like was I alive during the Cold War absolutely not but none of us were
Starting point is 01:10:27 yeah you're all 25 I'm the oldest one here that's right when was the Cold War when do you think it was I'm struggling here no you can do it to me this is fine this is wits and wages shit
Starting point is 01:10:39 but the early 80s I mean that's part of the Cold War when do you think it began when do you think it ended you get nervous it was I mean, Kennedy, so I guess mid-60s.
Starting point is 01:10:58 I was also part of the Cold War. So it began... Can we go early 60s to early 80s? It began pretty much right at the end of World War II, basically when the two superpowers... The U.S. and the Soviet Union were like, okay, we've defeated the Nazis. Uh-oh, now communism, you know, and like capitalism.
Starting point is 01:11:15 And it ended when Rocky beat Ivan Drogue. Did you do all that for that? Yeah. So in my mind, the Cold War feels like it was a couple years, but it was a long time, right? It was like 45 years. Long time. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:31 I always think of like a four or five year period. No, it was like that whole time. And like Rocky and Miracle are the things you think about. It kind of ended when the Soviet Union collapsed. Yeah, so like early 90s. When I tore down the wall. Good job on you. Mr. Bori, tear down this wall.
Starting point is 01:11:50 I did it. Is that your regans? No. It's kind of a hard. Harvey Firestein back when David and Harvey Firestein shared an apartment and David put a wall up in the middle of it.
Starting point is 01:12:01 Hey, I've never seen them in the same room together. That's all I'm seeing. Oh, Nancy, this is exhausting. Was that a Nancy Reagan top it off joke? Oh, that's tight. Did I see a packet of cough drops at the grocery store that said throat coat and immediately take a picture
Starting point is 01:12:23 and send everyone I know saying Nancy Reagan's. Yeah. I mean, I drink Nancy Reagan tea anytime I get sick. David, your third pick? That's so funny. Short track speed skating. Yes, 100%. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:12:36 So fun to watch, man. And they are zooming. Is that Apollo Anto? That's what I was just going to say. He's from Seattle. That was awesome. A little soul patch. Yeah, that was their fucking thighs, dude.
Starting point is 01:12:47 I know. It's just like, it's so beautiful. Yeah. So fast. Yeah. It's just a good. Those skates are crazy The blades are like that long
Starting point is 01:12:57 It's like it's awesome I love it man Yeah I love Washington Speed Sky Are you about to jack off I said Yes I brought a box of Kleenex back into the room I'm just having one of those allergy attacks I'm sorry buddy
Starting point is 01:13:11 Um And you know what helps with that is masturbating Absolutely No I hate beating off with everything I hate beating off when I'm sick Oh yeah Oh, we talked about this. I do it when I'm sick.
Starting point is 01:13:24 It makes it feel better. We drafted things to do when you're sick one time. Did you take beating on? And I said stroke down and you guys had took, yeah, you took beef with it. We took umbrage? Yeah, no, he took beef. I'm saying different phrases now. Short track speed scanning.
Starting point is 01:13:39 It's great. It's one of my favorite ones to watch. Yeah. It's like so powerful and violent. Yeah, I love the start of it. Yeah. I love the end. Because I love the end of a race.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Yeah. Like a physical race where somebody's, powered by themselves. I just love them like arms up, but you're still, they're still zooming. Yeah. You know,
Starting point is 01:13:58 yeah, it's just good time. Everybody's out of breath. Yeah, love it. Love it, love it, love it. That's a great pick. And we're going to get to Sean's third pick right after.
Starting point is 01:14:06 The short break. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Babel. Now, I want to learn a new language just as much as the next person. I feel like everybody, obviously, you don't want to,
Starting point is 01:14:19 not really about like getting the parts of speech memorized for your own, fun, although maybe that's cool with you if you're a language expert. I get it. But for your boy, I want to speak it out in the real world. I want to be able to get by. I want to say real things. Talk to people. Find out where the mall is. Stuff like that, stuff that's important to me. And learning with Babel all about small steps. You don't have to look at it as I'm going to learn this whole language tomorrow because you're not going to. But if you look at the tiny sort of bite size portions that they give it into you, like a little Snickers mini. Instead of the whole king
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Starting point is 01:16:10 BABBBBEL.com forward slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may imply. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Already in progress. Isaac beating off. He's all you find that. He's all done. That's how you do it, right?
Starting point is 01:16:28 Yeah, that's how you do it. Beat off with a shocker, bro. That never got old. Excuse me. Whoa. Excuse me. Excuse me. I hang loose.
Starting point is 01:16:43 You're just bobbling it up and down. I do it like a bopopopopopopopopop I do it like a bopet Twist it Turn it Uh Sean your third pick Mughal knees Oh
Starting point is 01:16:58 Oh geez That's great Oh yeah Yeah Yeah That shit would be so hard to do And that's it It would just be really hard to do
Starting point is 01:17:11 Don't they wear them out Like It's one of those sports where you're like Who made that the goal when they were skiing, well, that person is a better skier. I bet if I put 50 bumps, I'd be better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:26 If I just figure out to do that without telling them. You think it was like a revenge thing? And then say, now this is a sport with all the bumps on the track. You're like, what's the origin of this sport? Like somewhere in Finland where they just had really bad conditions on a hill. Yeah, they just couldn't smooth out. And then like a bunch of Hanses went like down there. Like, I bet I can go faster than you Hans.
Starting point is 01:17:41 And he was like, nobody's faster than Hans. And then they raised. Yeah. And then they raced. And one of the Hans won. and now they just have to build bumps on what probably would be a dope ski slope. It always looks like their tendons are going to fly out of their knees like a prank can of peanuts with a snake in it. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:17:59 Like that. Yeah, because they're just smashing every single time. It looks like it hurts. It always seems like it'd be funny if they diarrhea too. Well, put that in literally any Olympic sport. That's true. That's true. I don't have to shut down the pool for a lot of days.
Starting point is 01:18:14 I don't want to see it on the short track. A sport where you've got to flex every every like three-fourths of a second and so you're just poop poop poop It's like throwing a banana peel behind you in Mario Kart What if somebody figured out that if you farted just a little bit You went that much faster Oh just a little boost on short tracks speed skating
Starting point is 01:18:38 Oh you don't think I've thought about this In most gym classes from third to seventh grade It is running the wrist though Because if you do poop a little bit It weighs you down That's a word No it frees you up if you poop a little bit Well what's still in your
Starting point is 01:18:52 That's true It's still in your suit So you have to have like kind of an assless You gotta get that osmosis poop Technology that it'll just fall out of your suit Nike is working on osmosis poop technology Nick told me It's the nocta tea
Starting point is 01:19:06 They're not working with Drake They've gone rog This is my son Osmosis poop technology Technology Oh, that's funny Technology, Jordan Yeah, mogul knees
Starting point is 01:19:22 Mogul knees My turn of my third and fourth Next with my third I think we waited a respectful amount of time For this to get taken I'm going to take when there's a yard sale out there When somebody just absolutely bites it It's everywhere
Starting point is 01:19:36 It can go really bad and I'm sorry if people If someone gets a head injury That sucks and obviously That's terrible Any other injury? you'll get better. That's pretty crazy. It's pretty, it's real...
Starting point is 01:19:47 Bulls, pads, goggles, beanie, just everything's like... What's you find out there's okay? They're doing a starfish spinning on the... There's always like a rhythm to it, like a... Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:59 It's... That moment... Oh, no, sorry. Go ahead. I have to say that moment right before it all goes bad where he's like, oh, something's getting a little loose here.
Starting point is 01:20:06 Yeah. Oh, you hate to see that. But as long as they're okay, it is a joy to behold. It really is. is fun where ski ends up all over there yeah and then they it's like with this they just slide gradually to a stop yeah where they're just like starfish in and then you know they're bummed well of course they're bummed yeah decades of training decades of training decades of like the metal
Starting point is 01:20:29 goes flying out of the window but it's funny it they've worried the term yard sale yeah in itself is just a hilarious I think I got learned it from you so funny yeah it's so funny um because like when or skating, we'd fall in, like, we'd have change and stuff, and lighters and, like, headphones. All the fly. Like Sonic. It looks like you exploded. Yeah, your rings come out. Bunions.
Starting point is 01:20:54 And her out. He'd be, like, yard sale. You could be sitting there with, like, an ankle twisted the wrong way, and he's like, yard sale. My fourth pick is going to be biathlon, just in general. The fact that there's a sport that is skiing and shooting is very funny to me. I have guns on my list. Yeah, they just got guns at the Olympics.
Starting point is 01:21:14 I guess both summer and winter Olympics, they got guns. But it's just ski, ski, ski, ski, ski. I feel like I pay more attention to the winter guns. For sure, me too. Well, yeah, it's like the James Bond villain event. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like a sport based around Finland, you know, fighting off the Nazis.
Starting point is 01:21:31 Yeah. Yeah. That are hunting bears. Or hunting bears, yeah. Gotta hunt bears. These days. I'm going beer hunting. What are you doing?
Starting point is 01:21:40 Too expensive. What are you doing with your fucking skis? I'm going fun bear hunting. That's the one where it's like other countries that aren't in Scandinavia, like don't even bother applying. You know what I? It's always like. That's a lot of stuff, though. It is, yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:54 In the Winter Olympics? They got it sewn up with snow over there. Yeah, they do. It's just like Finland versus Finland. But there's snow all over the world. Yeah. Like America's not really thrown down on biathlon. I feel like Canada's not even like really thrown down a biathlon.
Starting point is 01:22:08 That's what I mean. The Scandinavians are. I mean, should we all try to be the American biathlon team? Let's start the Los Angeles biathlon. I think my brother could qualify for the Norwegian. Probably. No, they all hate. Oh, no, I know it.
Starting point is 01:22:20 My brother, and they hate skiing. Yeah. My little brother, we were just talking about it in Tokyo, he really fucking hates cross-country scene. My stepdad used to cross-country ski and it bummed me out every time I'd see him. It does not seem fun. It seems horrible. I'd rather snowshoe.
Starting point is 01:22:37 People live in my hometown all the time. They'd go down the streets. when it would snow, when it would like shut the city down. Because there's like a foot of snow. You see these dudes cross-country skiing. Oh, yeah. Really? We look near like a golf course and like all the people who golf
Starting point is 01:22:50 during the summer would just get cross-country skis and go to the golf course and just like cross-country ski through the length. They never seem to be going fast enough to make the work worth it. No, exactly. You know what I'm saying? Like crawling to where you're going or something. I have to assume it's like running in sand. That's what it looks like.
Starting point is 01:23:09 It really does not look pleasant. What is South Korea good at at the Winter Olympics? Where do they throw down? Figure skating. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I did know that. Yeah, Kim Yonah was like a legendary figure skater.
Starting point is 01:23:21 Yeah. Because it's cold as hell in South Korea, right? It gets real cold. Yeah. They hosted the Pyeongchang Olympics, what was that, eight years ago now? 2018, yeah. 2018, yeah. I don't know what else they're good at, to be honest.
Starting point is 01:23:32 There's some Korean snowboarders, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, Korean American snowboarder Chloe Kim. Hell, yeah. incredible, you know. Is there ski and snowboard culture there? Like, are there like resorts to go? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:45 That's where I had my traumatic child accident. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Three-way gone wrong. You were one of the dudes getting ski pulled. That's exactly right. We used to ski in Oregon all the time, but I would always fall over and then just eat snow. What are you doing?
Starting point is 01:24:03 I'm hungry. I take a break. Did you ever get into it? Like, did you ever get into skiing? Not until college, like, where I got in the snowboarding and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. You were snowboarding as a big fellow.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Uh-huh. Yeah. It's fun until you fall. And that's a lot of weight going down to hill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean, your fourth pick. I like at the bottom of the hill when they stop and they reveal. They're like take their goggles off, take the mess down, and you see the fun, like, if they're super excited about their run, you know?
Starting point is 01:24:34 The thrill of victory or the agony of defeat? Yeah, I like the thrill of victory a little more. You like the agony of defeat? Nah, not really Okay You only like half the human condition What? Half the human condition
Starting point is 01:24:45 Oh yeah Yeah basically I like the happy half Yeah But like they get down Pop the gogs Take the mask off And like
Starting point is 01:24:50 And just like Looking at their parents Or whatever It's always fun You Well this might be a pick Unto itself So I won't take it
Starting point is 01:24:56 Never mind But it's fun False start Yeah Yeah I just like seeing Someone stoked afterwards You know
Starting point is 01:25:04 Just the reveal Maybe they got some windburn Look like a raccoon I like the windburn Yeah I like, yeah. Got some frozen bugs in there. Buggies.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Bugs. Frozen buggies. David, your fourth pick. Snowboard culture, because I feel like it's actually a part of the Winter Olympics in a way that like surfing skateboard is not part of the summer game. Like those are still very separate. Yeah. But I feel like snowboarding and everything about it is fully integrated into the Winter Olympics.
Starting point is 01:25:36 That's a great point. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because skateboarding, I feel like, like, they're in the Olympics. Like, it's cool, and it is cool, but it just feels very separate. It doesn't feel like the brass ring in skateboarding, whereas, like, in snowboarding, maybe this is wrong, but it does feel like the gold medal is like the coolest thing you can do in half-pipes snowboarding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't think it's there with skateboarding yet.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Skateboarding is skateboarding? It just got there. Yeah. I feel like snowboarding, everybody was like, absolute, like all the snowboarders as a whole thought, great. Now we're in the Olympics. This is awesome. and skateboarding is split down the middle.
Starting point is 01:26:09 I didn't even know that. Is that, that's the case? Yeah, a lot of people are really hung up on the, it's not a sport thing, which has always bugged me. Oh,
Starting point is 01:26:17 I thought you meant within skateboarding. Within skateboarding, I am. Like, that's a lot of skateboarders think, like skating's not a sport. Oh, that's so interesting.
Starting point is 01:26:25 Yeah, I've gotten, I had a roommate that we used to get into it really frequently about it. And it was like, it really bothered me because he was such a smart guy besides that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:36 But he just hated skating. I was like, you don't even have a reason other. You're like an old person who looks at them like, like, how do you not, how is this not athletic? What are you talking about? He was like, he was like, it's not a sport. Yeah, yeah. And he always said it was because he was from Philly and people don't skip.
Starting point is 01:26:51 Oh, please. Like people don't. And I was like, Love Park. It's huge. It was just crazy. It's crazy to me. And then I shot a kid with an airsoft gun over at one time. Good.
Starting point is 01:27:01 I forgot about that. Yeah. Thank you. There was a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's crazy to me when people don't feel that way. It's like how does it not... Well, the skateboarders internally feel like it's, you know,
Starting point is 01:27:13 the thing that used to be like it's an art form, it's not a sport. It's not like football. Oh, that's not what I was doing. We're different. It's a counterculture. And it's also a sport. It's extremely athletic. I don't think you can do it and not be athletic.
Starting point is 01:27:26 No. It's hard. I don't like when someone attaches an opinion to a place and that's supposed to just like explain it. Like skateboarding's not a sport. I'm from Philly. Oh, yeah. Oh, you don't like talking to people from New York?
Starting point is 01:27:38 Yeah. Fucking everything. We've talked about this before, but same thing with people being tough. Hey, man, I'm from Philly and you're like, well, I know gnarly dudes from Sioux City. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But also from Philly. Yeah, but also from Philly.
Starting point is 01:27:53 You can be tough or weak from anywhere. If those two business palates went to war. Well, I mean, Philly's just got the numbers. Yeah, per capita, probably. Sure. I mean, like, my two hometowns are Detroit and Damascus, and I'm the softest. person any of you any of you.
Starting point is 01:28:07 And that's why I call you Paul Rock. Yeah. But um. Saul Rock. I don't get it. I lost that. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:28:15 Paul on the road, Saul on the road to Damascus. Oh. Too smart. And then Kid Rock. Too smart. I wouldn't have got that. That was quit.
Starting point is 01:28:23 You got there fast. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Sucked you guys didn't get it. We can keep going. I did my job. It would be nice if you guys did yours. More like dumb.
Starting point is 01:28:34 As well, dumb asses I'm just gonna go. That one works so love for so stupid stupid. And I'm saving that's in my brain. Time for your fourth and your final picks.
Starting point is 01:28:51 Fourth pick, I can't believe it's still in little bit. I'm just thinking figure skating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also,
Starting point is 01:28:57 I feel like the, it feels like the main event of the Windsor Olympics. Yeah. In the same way that like, you know, gymnastics is probably the main event of the Summer Olympics. But even let, but more, I would say more so.
Starting point is 01:29:10 Yeah, yeah. And like, I don't know if you guys. Swimming and basketball. Sure. I mean, I don't remember if you guys remember four years ago the like the scandal around the women's final with Camilla Valleavia who is like the unbelievable teenage Russian sphere. Shockery, it comes up every episode.
Starting point is 01:29:24 Yeah. Honestly, I'm sick of talking about it. They like, they stripped her gold medal because of like doping. And it was like, it was like, oh, but she was like pressure to take these drugs by the Russian Federation and it was like clear it's one of those things where it's like the like clearly the like clearly the most talented figure skater to ever live and so of course she would have won but then they stripped her metal oh so she didn't need a juice she was like bonds you kind of yeah it was yeah that you get this time around there's like Alyssa Lewis back there's an American
Starting point is 01:29:51 name I think Malanin is his name and he can do like quadruples and they call him the quad God is anyone doing the quad god god god unbelievable name yeah he didn't think I know you were We're going to try to get that going. I was starting in February. I'm finishing my four-wheeler this week. I know. You're going to call me. We're going to start calling you the Godg.
Starting point is 01:30:12 We all had custom four-wheelers, man. I'm only going to need two wheels. In New Orleans, we're going to have a golf cart. Brother, I told you. Got him. What are the I can't I can't wait
Starting point is 01:30:36 Golf card in a short set They're gonna call us The cod gods They're gonna be eating Fish and chips On the back of that thing Coming back drunk We're gonna put Sean on the top
Starting point is 01:30:44 Yeah Sean and Peek Sean and Beek are gonna be Teen Wolf Flip it up here Flip it everybody off Peck is just like Teen Wolf
Starting point is 01:30:54 Peak is our teen wolf We're like How's she good at everything Oh, man. I can't wait. What are the limits of spinning in the air on states? What are the limits? What are the limits of spinning in the air?
Starting point is 01:31:11 Somebody going to hit five at some point? Probably, I mean. Crazy. It's what, double axle? Are people eating four? Are people eating four full-roth? Yeah, that's Elyamelan. They call him the quad god because he can hit quads.
Starting point is 01:31:23 Can people go halves? Like, is there such a more and a half? You do four and a half or three and a half? I mean, I'm sure you could. Start back. Land Forward. I think it's probably the same amount you could land on rollerblades.
Starting point is 01:31:33 So is none. You know they have a trick called a zero-same? That's how stupid rollerbladers are. It's called a zero-spin. You know what it is? What? It's where you don't spin. So they hop up and land?
Starting point is 01:31:43 Uh-huh. Zero spin soil. Sounds like an ollie to me. Stop. It sounds like an ollie to me. Stop. Sounds like an ollie to me. If I call it a zero jump, then that would be the equivalent.
Starting point is 01:31:53 Sounds like an ollie to me. I don't know why you're caping for rollerbladers so hard. Really letting me down. Oh, man. There we go. He's doing the quad. Here we go. Not only fucks, this guy looks like he comes.
Starting point is 01:32:02 We're still talking about it. Whoa. Yeah. Short of video of the quad god. Bring it back. You want to watch a video of the quad god along with us here. You know, he used to be the quad god
Starting point is 01:32:14 was Goro eating four subs at the same time. Do you think he ever did that? You could eat two French dips at the same time. Oh, double dip. He could hold the Ajuu. He could double dip this one. He can double dip this way. He's like skeeer.
Starting point is 01:32:29 pulling. He's getting. Corro's getting on my French dips. Corro's jacking off
Starting point is 01:32:36 four guys back there. They're all in pain. You broke in. Like you sent out for a
Starting point is 01:32:47 picture from the back of the car. You're like in a passenger bag. Goro's in the middle.
Starting point is 01:32:57 He taps. I didn't know we were going to hit a loopie. We got it. We got it. Goro! Goro! Goro's in the back fucking ski pole of my French tips. Goro's got Allemotley crew back there.
Starting point is 01:33:13 He's beating them all off. They should have called him Nicky eight. That's your song. Oh, man. Oh, figure skating. In general. It's great. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:27 There's a guy from... the town Dana's from who's an Olympic figure skater. Chicago? No, it's a little town. That would be if you should call it. Oh yeah, I'm from the same city as that. This is like musician who's from the same city as
Starting point is 01:33:44 from the same little town as they. Kanye West. No, Highland Park from like the little suburb. Oh, that's dope. Shocker, your final pick. My final pick, I am taking fun national anthems. Yeah, that's great. Okay, let's start here.
Starting point is 01:33:57 the Star Spangled Banner sucks. It is not a good song. I've seen this take. I think it fucking bang. It's not a good song. I think it's great. I also think it's a good song.
Starting point is 01:34:07 Go listen to like La Marseillaise or something. Unbelievable. It's not fair to pull out. Go listen to O Canada. Sucks. Okay. Not good either. The Libyan National Anthem sounds like
Starting point is 01:34:17 How often do you hear about? Libya? When I'm looking up cool national anthem. Did you say Libya? Libya. Libya? Oh, I thought you said Bolivian. Well, that's it.
Starting point is 01:34:27 I couldn't tell you that. I don't know. That's actually the A. Isaac, if you could just put in every national anthem in the world, just in a row. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. See if America doesn't stand down.
Starting point is 01:34:39 And well, that's, if you play it all the same time, you hear that Paul McCartney is dead. That's right. We saw it as an Ibiza mix. I remember from that, like, that first, that's funny. That first tweet where it was like, America's National Anthem doesn't slap. Listen, there's a lot of things you can criticize this country for. The National Anthem. The Star Spangled banner, fucking, it's great.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Pretty good. I think it's great. It's not for me. That's right. Like the Brazilian national anthem, awesome. The French National Anthem, the best. The Marseille is great. Yes, La Marseille is unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:35:09 Yeah. The French Antointhal Anthem rules. But O Canada stinks. I like O Canada. None of the right. Oh, Canada. I don't like O Canada either. Well, there's O Mexico.
Starting point is 01:35:20 Oh, that's even, that's a lot of Mexico. By James Taylor. I said, O Mexico. David. She said they're not. in my mind. No other, like, I haven't heard even,
Starting point is 01:35:31 other than the French national anthem, one other one that, where I'm like, this is significantly better than ours. I, sure. Okay, here's the thing. The Russian one.
Starting point is 01:35:40 Basically, every national anthem, except for the U.S. is like, it's like, our military destroyed yours, and we are the dominant force on earth. And God only chose us
Starting point is 01:35:52 as the chosen people. And they all fucking go. Well, ours is humble. We made it. We're a humbly. A humiliation. Look at us. We're singing about a flag.
Starting point is 01:36:02 It's a face. It's a Roy Jones Jr. Look over here. Bam, right in the face. You're singing about a piece of cloth. You're singing about a piece of cloth. We're a pro Venezuela invasion podcast, by the way. I got to go.
Starting point is 01:36:12 I made my last pick. I'm out. But no, regardless of how you feel about ours, it's great here and all of them. And by all of them, I mean Russia's, Canada's and Swedens. The good, fun national anthems are just like, yeah, this is. of this goes. Yeah. David,
Starting point is 01:36:29 time for your final pick. I feel like the Winter Olympics is more dynastic than the other Olympics. I think you're right about that. Country and family-wise. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:37 Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of like, it's always like sisters, like, it's like familial and then like just countries reigns. Yeah. I feel like the other Olympics, there's a lot more like turnover. Yeah, like you get like South Korea
Starting point is 01:36:49 target shooting dominance in the summer Olympics. Yeah, yeah. And American basketball dominance for the most part. Right. But yeah, over there it's like Russia hasn't lost this.
Starting point is 01:36:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like familial runs. Yeah. And I like that. You do, I wonder if it's something like... It just feels like a... It feels older. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:08 Even though it's newer, right? The winter games... Yeah, I think it's less old. Like modern, like the modern Olympics started in 1900 or something like that. Yeah, and then the winter, the winter started later. I think... They started doing them different years, like, in the 90s. It was the same year?
Starting point is 01:37:25 Yeah, I think so. It was the same years. I guess 92 would have been Barcelona and Albertville. I think that's true. When was Lake Placid? 80? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Right? Big ass alligator in that lake, though. That's all I ever think about. It's all I ever think about. Sean, your final pick? Skeleton luge, the head first. That shit is scary. Top gun on ice, man.
Starting point is 01:37:47 That shit looks terrifying. Top gun on ice. You go see Top Gun on Ice, right? I would too. I was going to say, I wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't go see Top Gun on Ice. I'd see you from across the ring stadium full of people, whatever it was.
Starting point is 01:38:00 Go watch Tom Cruise smoke a bunch of speed. Somebody calls it getting handcuffed. That would be, that would be crazy. Some abandoned building in the arts district. The eye contact alone. He doesn't know we're there. Yeah, the skeleton is fucking nuts.
Starting point is 01:38:18 I can't believe it. I can't believe they're doing it. That's another one of those ones where it's like, how do you do it the first time? Yeah. Yeah. You just go down your track like that? Also, the fact they call it skeleton makes it like they know.
Starting point is 01:38:31 Yeah. Yeah. Like it, as in the full name is, it will shatter your. Yeah. And they had to shorten it. Yeah. You want to do the death hill? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:38 I don't know about all that. I mean, all of the competitive sledding offense. Skeleton, luge, bobsled just seem insane. It sounds cute when you call competitive sledding. Competitive sledding. I would do that. I would like a judged sledding event. That's just who's having the best time.
Starting point is 01:38:51 Uh-huh. And like you go on there and it's like outfit, hot cocoa cup. You don't what I mean? Like rosy cheeks Slutting Even in real life though Not real life Somebody always gets bustle
Starting point is 01:39:04 Oh yeah I have never gone sledding And somebody didn't get fucked You chop block a bunch of people At the bottom of the hill With your sled All the time The day starts to go longer
Starting point is 01:39:13 And then kids are like Coming out with not even snowboards But like this would happen Elizabeth in the park all the time Just like a skateboard with no trucks Yeah Yeah yeah Which you can't turn
Starting point is 01:39:23 Cookie sheet Yeah yeah And it's like And now it's ice because it's been compacted out with a bowling ball to help you go faster. The sky is purple. Like early morning sledding is for little kids. Afternoons for the dogs. You're getting speed off of like halfway down the hill.
Starting point is 01:39:38 You're hitting terminal velocity. Some drunk dad built a jump at the bottom. You can't even see it. Always. Absolutely. Absolutely. Every time. My final pick, this is inspired by the goggle thing.
Starting point is 01:39:49 So let me know if this is too close. It ain't. How fast they're still moving when they're. they check the score. Yeah, dude. Oh, man. That shit always fucks because they're like, you know, they'll be like doing like a downhill thing and they're going like super fast and you're like, okay.
Starting point is 01:40:04 And then they like pop the goggles, you know, and they're still going so fast, but they're like looking up there and it's like casual for them. That always freaks me out or like they're on their snowboard, you know, like arcing around, checking their score on the half pipe thing, but they're still moving so fast. Just like fist pumping going 30, 40 miles an hour. And it's just like, it's awesome. I'm like, that's your casual speed. That's wild.
Starting point is 01:40:24 That's what's a problem. impressive than the other thing. Pop the goggles just sounds really cool too. It does. I want to tell somebody to do that if we're like in a situation. Pop the goggles. Iceman, pop the goggles. This is adjacent to that.
Starting point is 01:40:36 But like what you were saying, when you realize how fast they're going, when you get, because there's the downhill shot and then it'll cut to the still camera that just is on the side of the hill that they go flying past. You're like, whoa, fuck. They're going way faster than the one that following that led me to believe. It's the fastest Olympics, the winter Olympics probably, huh? I have to. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're driving.
Starting point is 01:40:56 Those lusias. It's going like 80, 90 miles an hour on the box. It's insane. If that's two claws, I'll just take how Sal Cow is spelled. Not like you think. Is it, hold on, is it S-O-L-K-A-U? How is it? How is it spelled?
Starting point is 01:41:14 S-A-L-C-H-O-W. Nope. That's not what I thought at all. Downhill skiers somewhat like as high as 95 miles an hour. That is buck, dude. Downhill skiers? Downhill skiers. On their feet?
Starting point is 01:41:28 I can't get to ski that fast uphill. It's common to be above 80. So you're talking like faster than most cars on a normal highway in like L.A. County. Yeah. Not Isaac is Mitsubishi. Not Glendale. But outside of the two and the 134. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:44 Fast. Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah, I'm going to take specifically the sexual tension between the figure skating pairs. Oh, what a good pick. What a good pick. I'm glad you left it out of your picture. Have you been sitting on that this whole time? This whole time.
Starting point is 01:41:58 That was the first thing I wrote down. They'd like to be sitting on it too. They would. Spinning. About 5.21. That's why they call them the quad. Was it? Often they do get together.
Starting point is 01:42:09 Oh, yeah, yeah. Madison Chalk and Evan Bates, the Americans who were together. There was also that Canadian pair who was incredible. Brother sister pair, remember that? That's weird. Like a Donnie and Marines? Oh, yes.
Starting point is 01:42:19 The Shoo Tannis. Those are our friends. They're great. They were friends of the ringer. That's not even who I was talking about. Oh, no, no, different people? Alex Amaya Shibutani. Yeah, Alcimaii.
Starting point is 01:42:27 They're rad. Go back, cut out the part where I said it was weird. They rule. I bet it's like being in a movie together. Yeah. Michigan's finest. Yeah. That's not ICB?
Starting point is 01:42:38 Did you watch their hot ones with Guar? It's amazing. You know I didn't. It's funny, dude. It's only 20 minutes. They do a hot ones with Guar. Come on. Sean, I'm sure you're going to put it on YouTube next to me within the next 30 minutes.
Starting point is 01:42:52 There are three hours I meant to say. you want to get dinner after this watching that I do Guar and ICP on hot ones and they're quizzing each other it's awesome the insane yeah
Starting point is 01:43:04 Guar CP is Guar from Detroit I didn't know that no they're just hell of the same ilk as I seep I think people give them a lot of shit bloody
Starting point is 01:43:11 yeah they're wet when they perform they're dumb and bad like ICP Guar rules no they both rule think shock you went first you took thinking you know better
Starting point is 01:43:20 than the judges a regular person doing something they shouldn't be doing the Cold War figure skating and fun national anthems. David, you one second, you took,
Starting point is 01:43:27 how'd they get there? Opening day fits, short track speed skating, snowboard culture and dynasties. The thing about snowboard culture, they're pants. They always wear like cool pants. Even when they're dumb,
Starting point is 01:43:39 like when the America had like the ones that look like the jeans, the jackets a little like flannel. That was, was that Utah? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, but it was like, at least they were trying something.
Starting point is 01:43:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean, you took curling, the ski jump sort of flying squirt. pose, mogul knees, the goggle reveal, and skeleton. I took Bob Sletter chicanery, Swedish people, the yard sale, biathlon, and the checking the score. And Isaac took sexual tension between figures. That was sick.
Starting point is 01:44:07 The best one of all. Hot ice. We want to hear yours. Okay. Hey, we want to hear your picks. Hit us up at All FantasyPod at, you know, Gmail, AllFantasypodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everybody over there on the, AFE Patreon where you can get live episodes.
Starting point is 01:44:26 You can get yourself into this or that episode, a mailbag episode. Meal bag. And for God's sake, you can even watch an auction draft if you feel like tuning into one of those. They're good. They're pretty good on there. Oh, gosh, what else is there? I mean, thank you to everyone over there on the All Fantasy Everything subreddit,
Starting point is 01:44:42 holding us down. I really appreciate that. Shout out to Hagee beats. Oh, my God. What a guy, you know? You don't hear as much from him as you used to, but it doesn't mean we don't appreciate him any last. Sid that dude.
Starting point is 01:44:54 Shid the dude's a great. Shid the dude's a great guy. But, you know, you're forgetting Isaac over here, and the ones on the two. Shout out to you. You're the best producer there. You're a real pal there, bud. Holy cow.
Starting point is 01:45:05 Is this Canadian? Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. You know, St. Sue Carmel. I love you, ma. He's getting a little Chicago-y now. I'm more Chicago-y, you know. It's like that kind of accent. But this is someone who has spent a little bit of time in Edmonton.
Starting point is 01:45:18 You know. Oh, I know. I feel you. I'm right there. So, you know, shout out. to Frankie Ocean too, you know. Yeah. More important than all that, ultimately.
Starting point is 01:45:25 We'll see you next week, brother. We'll see you next week with another brand new episode of All Fantasy, Everything in there. Oh, Canada! That was a hate gum podcast.

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