All Fantasy Everything - Things That Are Overrated (w/ Shane Torres, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

The Good Vibes Gang flips the script and drafts things that are overrated, with the most overrated man in comedy himself - Shane Torres! Support the show!Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodThank you to hims for sponsoring this episode of All Fantasy Everything. Try hims for a month today for just $5. Go to forhims.com/allfantasy5.Episode Guest:Shane Torres @shanetorres IG: @syrupmountainFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fans of Everything. The podcast that waits right until you start talking and then introduces itself. Right until. What were you going to say? Were you going to say something we can say on air? Definitely not. No, it was good. Yeah, no, no. We're coming out. I want to come out hot on this.

I don't usually do a squam. Scream, scream, scream. If you are in the Midwest area, if you're listening to this, it's Thursday night. Maybe it's Friday morning. Oh, yeah. We have added

at the 10,000 laughs comedy festival in Minneapolis Minnesota boom goes the dynamite we have added a second live all fantasy everything oh shit we just added it

today when we were recording liver drunker all fantasy yeah we're liver and drunker I'm gonna be bigger and blackerer it's gonna be bigger

and blackerer because the G is silent who was going to be in Mexico oh settling unknown scores is instead going to be in Mexico settling unknown scores is instead going to be in Minneapolis with us.

Settling new scores. Don't worry, I'll still be eating tamales all weekend though. Come see about me. Settling scores, eating tamales. What we'll do is we'll go to Pizza Luce. We're going to go out on Hennepin. We're going to get some coffee. We're going to drive by the old skate park on Lake Street. Going to Fifth Element.

Can we get a Juicy Lucy? Yes! Yes. We got to get a Juicy Lucy. We can get a couple. Man, that's how long it's been since I've been to Minneapolis before that joke. Me and you.

Yeah. Right? When you stayed on fucking Scooch the Dooch's floor. Scooch the Dooch's floor. Damn, times have changed. Scooch decided he might as well smoke some cigs in the living room before we went to bed. Man, remember when you just knew how a dude who smokes inside?

I don't know anybody who smokes who smokes in their house. Do you know anyone without a ridiculous nickname? Well, Scooch the Dude. There's just one guy, Fred. He doesn't do much. Scroochman, dude. Scroochman. People should cater to me.

Scooch, Scooch, Scooch. We're about to go to bed, and he just lights up his sig like, you guys want to see what's up with my NPC real quick? We're like, no, man. Oh, dude, I never want to like see what's up with my NPC real quick? No, man. Oh, dude, I never want to hear anybody's beats. I don't want to hear

your beats, bro. I never. I don't want to hear you freestyle. I want to hear your beats less. Scooch me if you're listening, you're dang. I will rap over your beats this weekend.

Boy, yeah, I'll go back and forth. But for real, come to that second show. It's going to be fucking live. Or buy tickets to both of them or get to well the first one's sold out you can't come to the first one

but if you already got tickets oh if you got or come to both of them they're gonna be two different shows but wait there's so many people who didn't who wanna go

if you didn't get into the first one buy tickets to the second one first we're recording Monday evening right now the first show's already half or the second show's already half sold out. It is. So if there are any available, scoop them up.

We did the most we could. This is the best week. So try and come. If not, come see our stand up. And also, it's at Sisyphus, which is a bar. It's got a big old tap room outside of the showroom. Yeah. We'll be chilling after the shows.

Yeah, we will be loud. Yeah, loud. You going to be loud? Where's loud? Where's loud? Are y'all doing them on the same night? Apple cider! We're doing them on the same night. We're going to the tap house.

I don't have a show Saturday night, it turns out. I don't have a show any night. I think you might be doing a little stand-up comedy on a show that I'm on. Best of the Fest is on Saturday. You might be doing a little stand-up comedy on a show that I'm on. Best of the Fest is on Saturday. You might be doing that. Maybe we'll be on that.

We might be doing Best of the Fest. Anyway, stay tuned. Follow the Twitter. Follow the Instagram. Yeah, I'm going to have stories like a mug. Speaking of Twitter and Instagram, Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. I'm there. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram.

Right there. Seeing it more and more these days. There's a lot. It is. It's catching on. It's catching on. Not a lot of haters. A lot of perpetrators. Oh, catching on. It's catching on. Not a lot of haters. A lot of perpetrators.

Oh, perpetrators. Yeah. Taking elevators. Not a lot of people waiting on it. Yeah. Grammy nominators. Eating now and laters. Model prom daters.

Going on one of them flat escalators. Yeah. My man. He's here. Scream, scream, scream. Call back city over there. Oh, we love it. Sean, other than, so I hear Faded went great. So the first Faded happened, you two. Oh, yeah. Mars Mell is nodding. She was there. Oh, we love it. Sean, other than, so I hear Faded went great.

So the first Faded happened, you two. Oh, yeah. Marzinella's nodding. She was there. Yeah, Marissa was there. Obviously, Ian's going to be there when he's in town. Yeah, I'm going to be there for sure. Shane will be there doing one soon.

Yeah, it went great, man. Thanks so much to everybody who came out. You guys are dope. It was so fun, and we can't wait to just rock with you guys weekly yeah it's weekly keep going go on Friday

we'll be out of town but we have Wicked Replacements it'll be fantastic it's a blue rooster I heard Jason Concepcion brought or was that to On Deck

that he brought Milton oh no that was to Faded that was to Faded that was to Faded you also know it was at Network on Twitter

shout out friend of the show from the ringer he brought his Corgi his famous Corgi Milton His famous corgi. Famous corgi. Boy, I'll tell you. Also, I don't know if you guys saw,

ex-NBA phenom Ryan Hollis shouted out the show. Did he? What? And all I'm saying, all I'm saying is wait for more famous athletes to shout out our show

because they're coming. Yeah. Fuck with us, Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Man, we're fucking with NBA players now. Myers Leonard gave Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Man we're fucking with NBA players now. Myers Leonard

gave me a birthday shout. I saw that. You don't look short ever. No. Holy crap dude. I look short next to him. I am short next to him. Whoa.

He's a large man. He's a large man. He's a large man as well. But not intimidating. No he's a sweet boy. I'm not intimidated. In the photo I'm saying you don't look intimidating. No no no no. No Myers is great man. intimidated in the photo I'm saying you don't look intimidating

no no no no no Myers is great man he's a nice dude yeah you don't want to look intimidating that's uh you know so come to Faded every Friday

at the Blue Rooster yes and uh I'm doing your credits for you what else uh what else you got going on oh nothing man

listen to Minneapolis dude it's my favorite city in the world come out we're gonna all be in a good mood we're gonna be

in good form seriously it was already gonna be so much fun then we found out David's going to be there. And then they unsilented the G. The G is loud. Unsilented the G.

Speaking of the G being loud, David Porey in the studio. At the G is silent on Twitter. Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. Eight, six, seven. Is that going to change ever? No, I'm over it. No. It's not changing. It is. I am who I am. You know what change ever? No, I'm over it. No. It's not changing.

I am who I am. You know what I'm saying? Be who you be. Yeah. Same old G. Uh. Even though I might be on TV. Uh.

Even got my own CD. Uh. There ain't no changing me. Same old G. G, G, G, G. Basically what I'm saying is it's always gonna be this no matter what you do that kind of podcast yeah I feel good about it

oh I just got booked today actually February 22nd and 23rd long ways off but I'm gonna be in Springfield Missouri at the Blue Room Missouri so you know come see me there if you want to and then all dates are gonna be on davidboy.com which is up and active at that point.

Which now exists. Keep an eye on it. It's real. Now a site. And, you know, there's some other news. You got to keep your eyes towards the skies. They're going to know. They're going to know pretty quick.

Are they going to know pretty quick? I mean, probably in the next few weeks. Right around the corner. It should be Halloween. Halloween isn't the only thing we don't like, right? Now everybody knows. But now that you bring it up,

Halloween is right around the corner. It's right around the corner. Right around the corner. What are you looking around for? I don't know what you guys are doing right now. You listen to every episode. How do you not know

about Halloween? I have stopped listening as much as I used to. Why? Because you're mean to him? Yes, you pricks. Oh, yeah, but we're not mean to you. I'm Amy Miller.

That was the worst Amy Miller impression. She just passed out wherever she is. Yeah. She just, like, punched a hole in her car window. She was going to do that anyways, that lush. She's just driving. Shane! She hit a cyclist driving by.

Didn't you borrow her car? Last night? Yeah. I thought you had it tonight. Never mind. No, no, no. All right. Cool.

Any other dates? No, just come to Fated on Fridays, and we'll figure it out. That person who borrowed Amy Miller's car is Shane Torres, the king. The king. Oh, good to see you, boys. At Shane Torres The king. Oh, good to see you, boys. At Shane Torres on Twitter. Yeah. At Shane Torres.

No, it's Syrup Mountain on Instagram. It's still Syrup Mountain on Instagram. Yeah. Different across all platforms. Does the MMA fighter have the Instagram? No, I don't. Is it a different? No way.

Yeah. No way, no way. I don't know. I think he goes by Eugene now. Does he really? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

That's fair. Somebody beat the Shane out of him? I guess I did. Shane Torres is muy asbestoso y muy feo. Whoa. Did you just call me ugly? No. He called you very ugly. Yeah.

Oh, how do you say handsome? We should have learned nice things. Guapo. Oh, yeah. Shane Torres is muy guapo. He called you very ugly. Yeah. Oh, how do you say handsome? We should all learn nice things. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo.

Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo.

Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo.

Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo.

Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo.

Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo.

Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo. Guapo I can't believe I'm not genuinely offended.

Un momento, un momento. Tú eres Jewish? Sí, sí. Listen, Shane. 50% bar mitzvah de todos. Shane. Yes. Bar mitzvah de todos. Solo para ti.

Mi español es solo para ti. Solo para ti. You español es solo para ti. Solo para ti. You're saying it wrong. That's why you say it's only for you, right? Sí. I don't know. I don't speak Spanish. You are killing me.

Mi español es solo, solamente para ti. Solamente para ti. I'm getting it from all three of you right now. Dime, dime. You meant to say no say instead of I don't say. Oh, sí, no sé. Yeah, yeah. ¿Cómo se dice? ¿Cómo se dice? We do it because we love you right now. Dime, dime. You meant to say no se instead of I don't know. No se. Oh, si no se. Yeah, yeah. Como se dice, como se dice, we do it because we love you, Shane.

I don't know. No se. Nosotros, nosotros. Nosotros. Encontras. Hablamos espanolos. We speak Spanish. Solo.

You forgot to put poorly in there, but I imagine somebody's going to put that in there. El amor. Shane Torres is... I'm done. Shane Torres is a big cranberry. Also, big Patton Oswalt Twitter shout out. Yeah. Man.

He's a good man, that Patton Oswalt. He is a good man. But you must be a good man, too. He's giving you all sorts of love on that. Yeah, he's been sweet to me. He's been real sweet. Yeah. Fun shows last night. I think he said

Shane Torres was so good last night that I'm going to travel back in time and kill myself as a younger comedian because I know I'll never be as good. It was something along those lines. It was like that, right? It was pretty much that. So have you been on the road with him? You were in San Francisco with him?

I was in San Francisco and then last night at Largo. And then I did the special with him a while ago. I was going to say, a couple years ago you opened. What did you do in San Francisco? Did you do the? Masonic Theater. Nice. Yeah.

I had a couple of friends come out. I have two cousins. You met them. Yeah, I did. You met Liam, the silver fox. Liam's fucking dank, dude. Yeah. But he works in tech

down from the city. And he came up with his wife and then my other cousin Sinead came up with her wife. Sinead. Liam Sinead. You guys are from where you're from. Hell yeah. I love it.

They came up to the show and they were like you are so great and they were so sweet and are so great, and they were so sweet. And then they came back, and then just being loud and Irish and drinking beers in my green room, next I was like- All my green room. Yeah, I had a green room. I had my green room. I had my green room.

You'll get there, Sean. Dude, when I was at Conan, I was- You get a website up, and you'll probably, you'll be there in no time. When he's got my bedroom, then he can get my green room. I do have a website, hotmail.com. When I was at Conan, I was playing Bobby Shmurda so loud, Luke Wilson got mad. Nice. Because he didn't think of it first.

Yeah, yeah. Because he was like, I was going to be here. Were you playing the Fred Savage ghosted me? What song was I playing? Did he really? Yeah, he kind of go, I wanted to say hi to him, and he avoided me. Fred Savage didnasted me What song was it? Did he really? Yeah, he kind of I wanted to say hi to him and he avoided me. Fred Savage didn't?

Yeah. Oh, man. I was there. Owen Wilson would have been cool with Bobby Shmurda. Yeah, Owen Wilson would have loved it. Luke Wilson. Luke was like, what is this?

I only listen to Big Willie's time. More like Poop Wilson. That's what I'm screaming. That's why Roadies is not still on the air. Yeah. Shout out to old school, though. You were the That's too bad because the four of us why roadies is not still on the air. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to old school, though.

You were the. That's too bad because the four of us could have gotten on roadies at some point. I mean, the way we're dressed up in denim. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. We were denim daddies tonight. Woo. Oh, shout out to Trevor from Springfield for sending me that jacket. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to wear the shit out of it. Dude, denim season. I'm going to wear a hoodie under it. Wavy by winter and denim season. Yeah, wavy by winter. I just finished what I've been shooting, too, so I can cut my hair finally. Perfect.

What do you got coming up, Shane? When is this coming up? This Thursday. This Thursday? Yeah, for sure. I'll be in Baltimore at Magoobies. Shut up! Sean, you don't have to make up gigs, because you just don't have shows.

I need to be at Magoobies. Did I also build a website? Where are you going to go to Tallahassee and play Wizzo's Chuckle Palace, aren't you? Well, don't get jealous because you can't get booked at imaginary clubs either. Oh, shit. You started it. Remember, you started it. I don't know.

I like it. Can I finish my plugs? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll be at Magoobies, the real place. I'll be at Magoobies, the real place. I'll be at my goobies. Agree to disagree. In Baltimore, Friday, Saturday night. I had a Thursday, but Langston Kerman showed up, and he's more successful than I am.

He's so handsome, dude. He's fucking great, Langston. He gets a lot of my comments, too. So go see him, too, and then come see the exact opposite the next night. Where was that again? Magoobies, man. He's going to be at McRubber's. You that again? Magoobies. He's going to be at MacGruber's. You heard him. The week after, yes, the week after I'll be

in New Orleans. Magoobies is like the Kidz Bop version of my Goobies song. Magoobies. Not my Goobies. If you're looking for them Goobies are you not just some Goobies? Sorry. I'll be in New Orleans the week after. There you go. On the 25. I'll be in New Orleans the weekend.

There you go. On the 25th, I'll be in New Orleans at Comedy Fuck Yeah. And the night before that, I'll be at Lafayette Comedy in Lafayette, Louisiana. So go and check those out. Is it one of those Thanksgiving? Oh, you're talking about October. Then he's circling the background to do my goobies again. Yeah.

I'm going to do my goobies on my way back up to New York. On the way back through Detroit. If you're near my goobies, you stop in to get a spot. Yeah, come by my goobies. Yeah, but if you're there, come see the fucking show. I'm a decent person. I saw a great comic. He's peeing his before he knows the right words.

I didn't make the goddamn club. Some schmuck did. Like Sean wouldn't fly to Baltimore to play my goobies. We'd all play my goobies. I'd drive to Baltimore to play my goobies. We would all play Magoobies. Drive to Baltimore to play Magoobies. We would all love to do Magoobies. Magoobies, joke out. Are you still going to soft-shell crab right now?

Is it in season or no? Probably not. It's quite too cold. Soft-shell crab? Is that what they do in Maryland? At Magoobies, it's all crab cakes. That's what Maryland does. Well, they do crab cakes in football. That's what we call a sad lunch. Num, num, num, num, num, num.

What a move for Bradley Cooper from that to... From Cradley Brooper. Bradley Brooper's blowing up. Super Trooper Cooper. Super Trooper Bradley Brooper. All the way from sack to fucking Cradley Brooper getting the sunburn from what I hear. Probably going to get a few trophies. That's what the buzz is, right?

I haven't seen it. I saw Night School, but... How was Night School? Kevin Hart's funniest movie in a while, I think. It was really funny. Haddish was hilarious. Fat Joe was really funny. Fat Joe's in it?

Yeah. Romney Malco was really funny. Romney Malco's fucking hilarious, man. I'm glad to see him back in it. Romney Malco? You haven't seen him in a little bit. He's so funny. Yeah, he's really great in it.

He's just like brushing his hair the whole time. Yeah, I thought Night School was funny, man. I was a fan. Pat Joe is a villain, though, in my opinion. He's a villain in real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. He's not a good man, I don't think. Scradley Boobler.

Anything else, Shane? I had something else I was going to put. Fuck. Shaneisacomedian.com. That'd be great. Shaneisacomedian.com. And go see Shang Wang while you're out there, too. You should go see Shang Wang. He's very funny. That dude has the best jokeagwag.com. And go see Shang Wang while you're out there, too. You should go see Shang Wang.

He is so good. That dude has the best joke about Q-tips. He really does. He's amazing. We were at Bonnaroo together, and every night he was, like, faded, and I'd be, like, walking back in the hotel tired, and he'd be like, come to Steak and Shake with me. It's like, I'm saying it.

He's like, they put chili on spaghetti. And I was like, I'm not serious. His voice is very low and, like, they put chili on spaghetti. His voice is very low and spaced out. We got to get Shag Wang on here. We do. Shag Wang, if you're listening, you are one of my top five comedians. Yeah. Yeah, he's top five for me. He's fucking great.

Yeah. Where are we at, though? I'm Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Twitter. Hey! At Ian Carmel on Instagram. Uh. At Ian Carmel on Jewish... Bumble? Yelp? Do you guys have your own Yelp? Ooh, that feels anti-Semitic.

Some of those reviews, you might not want to read. On Jewish Yelp, it's just, eh. Eh. That's all the ratings. I had a guy hop out his car at me on the way over here. Oh! What? Is that what happened? Yeah.

Where? Whoa. On Beverly over by my work. Really? Like, knocked up? Tried to knock up, but I started laughing at him, and he got back in his van. Did you yell at him or laugh at him? I said, what are you doing?

Whole bunch of stuff. Rewind it. Start from the beginning. So I'm just driving here. No, like back in Oregon. I was born to Ivan and Sue Carmel, St. Sue Carmel. Ian was a very shy child.

October 9th, 1984. Isn't that special? In Milwaukee, Oregon. Miliwake, Algonquin for the good land. Sure. No, so I'm driving over here and like it's traffic-y because it's Los Angeles

and a van is like, does that thing where like I'm right up behind this car that's in front of me. And this van, which is on a side street, comes in and tries – is like – it's just like right – it's like it would T-bone me if it went any further forward. Right? And it's blocking two lanes of traffic going the other way. Doing that thing where they block off part of the street. Right. So they can, so they can sort of worm their way in. Yeah. And they weren't trying to get in front of me,

but like there was no room in front of me. And this guy starts honking and he's like, pull forward. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't pull forward. He's by himself in this van? No,

it's him and a dude. Okay. Is it like a conversion van or like a moving van? It's like a work van. Yeah. Conversion van. Okay. So like a big,

and he's like, pull forward. I'm like, I can't, I literally can't pull forward. There's, there are like, there's a foot in front of me. It's like a big... And he's like, pull forward. I'm like, I can't. I literally can't pull forward. There's a foot in front of me. And he's like, fucking pull forward. I'm like, suck my dick.

Suck my dick. Hit him with that 1998. Yeah. I just gave him the nice and simple, dude. Just opened up the joke book. It's on the first page. Suck my dick. Sometimes peanut butter and jelly will get you full.

Well, you don't need the bells or the whistles. You're meeting potatoes all day. No, absolutely. I'm flying to Minneapolis this week. Well, you don't need the bells or the whistles. You're meat and potatoes all day. No, absolutely. I'm flying to Minneapolis this week, dude. I don't need anything but meat and potatoes. Maybe a hot dish. And then he pulls in behind me. I think this is the end of that interaction completely. And then we go forward

probably a mile. Maybe like three quarters of a mile. How many lights? Like two lights, but one of them is Beverly and La Brea, which is a big light, and another one's the light right before that. And so we

pull forward, and I'm sitting in traffic, minding my own business, listening to some kind of like folk music or whatever, whatever it is I listen to when I'm trying to not, you know, scream in traffic and uh i look behind me and see this dude in like sweatshorts and a t-shirt jogging up the median and he's like maybe six feet tall 230 did you have him so he's a big guy if he he's a big guy if he doesn't know that you're in the prius yeah he sees a prius and he thinks that must be a prius

dude so he thinks he's the kind of guy who can take a guy in a Prius. He comes jogging up and I lock my door, but I roll my window down and I look out. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, step out. Step out, man. I'm like, what are you doing? I was like, are you serious? You're going to get killed out here.

Because he's standing in the middle of, it's two lanes each way. On Beverly. On Beverly. What a prick. Also, he left his whip unlocked like a fool. Right, exactly. That's how you get the middle of, it's two lanes each way. On Beverly. On Beverly. What a prick. Also, he left his whip unlocked like a fool. Right, exactly. That's how you get your shit took, man. He was the driver.

He wasn't the passenger. And I was like, get back in your car. What are you doing? And he like looks at me and I think he realizes I'm not a typical Prius driver, I guess. Also, fuck him. He was just going to try to fight someone on the street. He said step out.

And I was like, if I didn't, if my tags weren't expired, maybe I would. Yeah, you got to honestly, one thing I will tell you that I've learned, you got to have a bumper if you're going to step out the whip. That's a real thing. That's true. I'm also not a violent man. I don't want to fight anyone ever. He doesn't have a rear bumper. No, never.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he like, I just start laughing at it. He, like, starts walking back to his car, and it's the saddest thing. And I roll down my other window and just start cackling so he can hear me. It would have been great if you told him to suck your dick and then just took off. Suck my dick! Silently escapes. When he pulled up, I should have said, oh, you're here to suck my dick.

That would have been perfect. You should have just had it out. All right, that was a step too far. I understand. It's going to be weird riding here on Beverly, but you know. Beverly, dude. Anyway, that happened all the way over. Traffic is stressful, so I could... But to get out... So he got out

and then crossed two lanes, like... Because I was in the left lane. So he crossed the right lane and then got into the median and came over and tried to... You should have just looked him in the left lane. So he crossed the right lane and then got into the median and came over and tried to. You should have just looked him in the eyes and been like, hey, man, she's not coming back. She's not coming back. Today ain't your day.

She's not coming back. You got to start drinking stuff that isn't Rockstar Juiced. Yeah. You got to get some water in there. You know? And quiet time. And some quiet time. Yeah, like just.

We got to get a better name for these energy drinks, by the way. quiet time. And some quiet time. Yeah, like just... We gotta get a better name for these energy drinks, by the way. I know, Rockstar Juice. Because nobody would drink Rocket Scientist. No. Yeah.

I would only drink Rockstar. If I were in a gas station or whatever and there was a drink called Rocket Scientist, I'd buy one. I don't think you would buy one if it was called Books.

I would definitely... If there was a drink called books. Yeah, but when you were back in your energy drink heyday, you probably wouldn't have. Shorty can't eat no books.

You know what I mean? That is true. That is shorty can't eat no books. I bought food from our shorty. Could you draft energy drinks? Have there been enough

of them that have made it and failed? Whatever that one was. Yeah, there was a Grinco brand one. Balls. I had a buddy

who used to drink a lot of booze. Benatar from Role Models. Can we do that one? Yeah. I had a buddy who used to drink a lot of booze. Minotaur from Role Models. Can we do that one? Yeah. I watched that the other day. I did too. Five hour?

Maybe good. Five hour? I mean, you know, if you want to get real, bro, you do like milk, you know? Wow. Gives you a certain kind of energy, bro. Coffee, bro. Coffee, bro. Reading the Bible.

Sure. Go to church, man. Wine, bro. Wakeboarding. Having wakeboarded. I tried to wakeboard once. I couldn't get up. Wine, bro. Wakeboarding. Having wakeboarded. I tried to wakeboard once. I couldn't get up. No, we don't have the... It's not for fat

dudes. No. It's really hard to get up. It's like throwing a bowling ball behind a boat. Yeah. If you're a big dude... Do you stand up on wakeboards? What? I don't know which one. Wakeboard is the board where you're strapped in like a snowboard so you start with it in front of you and the toe rope between your legs,

and you've got to push forward and turn up to get up. It's just hard as a fat guy. What's the one where you... I thought Wakeboard was the one where you laid on your stomach. No, that's boogie boarding. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's boogie boarding in the ocean.

That's the ocean. That dude's already had a tow. Yeah, I was like, that seems like... I don't even need a boogie. I don't even board the boogie board. We should's already had it that way. Yeah, I was like, that seems like well worth it. I don't even need a boogie. I don't even board the boogie board. We should get boogie boarding this summer. We should get boogie boarding. That's next summer for sure.

But like get the ones with the leashes. We should be out there like real surfers. Wearing body glove shorts. Yeah, we're wearing body glove suits and then got like the thing with the leash. Damn. And then like if other boogie boarder children come, we like cut their line. Yeah. Like locals only. It cut their line. Yeah. Like, locals only.

It's our beach. Yeah. We fuck up and wear the wetsuits in the car and get all hot. Yeah. Four men were found dead today on the 405. No, I haven't even hit the waves yet. That's just sweat. Just pouring sweat.

Four men found in a locked car dead in their pissed in wakeboard suits. Young Jeezy, blast it. Go into Starbucks and ask for four waters, no ice. Pour me. Right on the 405. I just pour it directly in the neck of my wetsuit. Had to cool down. Cook a turkey in there.

We don't look like a tube of biscuits. Right after you pulled the seal too far. Yeah, you're like. See that's how they get. But then it like settled. That's satisfying though. Uh-huh. It's twisting the.

Oh, I love it. The biscuit twist. The biscuit twist. Ooh, do the biscuit twist. I love it when it doesn't pop when you pull it. And you have to put the spoon on it. The what, what?

When you pull the thing, but it doesn't pop when you pull it. Oh, yeah. Then it says press a spoon against this line and you got to press the spoon until it pops. Yeah. I'm not trying to do that much work. Oof, I love it. Oh, yeah. Then it says, press a spoon against this line, and you gotta press the spoon until it pops. Yeah.

I'm not gonna do that much work. Oof, I love it. What are we drafting? 10,000 laughs, I have nothing else to declare. Watch the Late Late Show, listen to all fantasy, everything,

fuck with us. Y'all, we are not only gathered here today to talk about biscuits, and beautiful HeadGum Studios, and scenic downtown Los Angeles, just an amateur catapults launch away. Just a youngster with a slingshot.

Just a three-man slingshot away. From Skid Row. Please keep charity in your heart as it gets older. Don't hit the soup kitchens. It's right. Give to the homeless. It is right there. Right there.

We are not gathered here to just talk about biscuits. We are gathered here to draft things that are overrated. That's right. The good vibes gang is getting negative. I was thinking about that. I seem like such a curmudgeon doing all this stuff. Shane, who is one of the sweetest boys, he's America's sweet boy.

He's not Syrup Mountain. They don't call him Syrup Mountain because he's sour. One of our draft underrated things. But then I realized this morning, as I was up at 7 a.m. just panicking about life. Doing the Lord's work. Doing the Lord's work.

That's probably things that are good, actually, which we've already done. Probably the same episode. Maybe we could do that in another 50 when Shane is back. Yeah, I bet we can. Yeah, but tonight we are drafting overrated things. Yeah, we're getting angry. I'm ready.

Yeah. I'm in it. I don't know how angry I'm going to get, but you know. You'll get angry. You're going to get angry. I'm going to get angry at't know how angry I'm going to get, but you know. You'll get angry. You are. You're going to get angry. You're going to get angry. I'm going to get angry at you.

Yeah. You're going to get angry at me. That makes me get less angry because I feel like I need to combat your negative energy. The beard that Sean Jordan has, if I can just narrate for a second, it is coming in hot. It's all right, right? Yeah. I like it. You're good.

You got a good, you keep your salt at the bottom and then you pepper all around it. This is what it sounds like when people talk about how dank your beard is. I'm looking right at Shane, by the way. That's ice cold, man. It's fine. That's fine. He didn't even do anything. I'm going to get on the internet and look at my TV appearances.

Oh, shit! Laura, call me. Call me. Call me now. We got two. We got some big. Just remember, you started it. Everyone in here has got some facial hair.

You started it today. And I'm going to fucking finish it. Yeah? Shane's got that scrap metal yard barbed wire rope of a beard. Hey, listen, Shane. My shit. Some of us are rugged. And some of us look like a manicured T-Mobile manager.

Yeah? You fucking yucks. Yeah, I can. You put some buttons On this shit Sure yeah You look like a T-Mobile manager Who's definitely religious Yeah

Yeah Big wave game for sure Like you had a planned Kid at 18 Like that kind Yeah Now you can delete The Newsboys off

This new Jitterbug If you want to But you don't have to You know I just put them on there I went ahead and took it Out of the box for you It's hard to put music On a Jitterbug

I put the Newsboys on there. Is that a Christian rock band? Definitely a Christian rock band. Noise Boys. I'm more of a DC talk guy, but that's because I'm cooler than you. It's not a big deal. Well, I'll put DC talk on your jitterbug then. You should come see me. I'll get you a discount, bro. Put Toby Mac on mine first, and then we'll talk about it.

Is Casting Crowns one of them? Yeah. Because I was in a different part of the country this weekend, and I saw somebody wearing a Casting Crowns shirt and hat. Oh yeah. You know my Casting Crowns jam is Alter to the Door. Really? Oh yeah. Lord this time I'm making it right

here at the altar I lay my life but I've tried like so many times before how can I something something from the altar to the door. Like so many times before. How can I? Something, something. From the altar to the door.

Everything. Yeah, I got, I got, I got. Listen, man. You weren't lying. Don't be surprised. I got hits, bro. It's not all fantasy. Also, also Slow Fade by Casting Crowns. Good song about cheating on your spouse.

Really? Yeah, man. Don't worry about me, man. I'm out here. All right. All right. Now, the way we determine the about me, man. I'm out here. All right. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft... What a dismount. It's through

a rollicking game of rock-paper-scissors played between the three of you. And we'll throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock-paper-scissors. Shoot! Oh, Chantel Jordan. Yuck. Yuck. I've never won. Yuck. I've never won either. I've only played twice. I've never won. Yuck. I've never won either. I've only played once. Sean's starting to get.

No, Sean passed me. I think he passed me as the winner. Get used to that, bro. We'll look in the metrics. Now, Sean, it's up to you to determine the order of the draft. Before you do, I'd love to remind you that it is a serpentine draft. And what does that mean? Excellent question.

What is that? Excellent question. It's, well, so it's sort of like if you were in, like, let's say. Tell me in the most succinct way. I did that last week. Let's say you're in your Lyft ride here, and you're in the back, and you're thinking, I should tell David he's a coward if he doesn't play UGK as loud as he can in this Lyft. And then David's like, I'm not a coward. And then David plays UGK as loud as he can in this Lyft.

And then David's like, man, I should shut this off. This is probably embarrassing, but I'm not a coward. And then David plays UGK as loud as he can in this lift. And then David's like, man, I should shut this off. This is probably embarrassing, but I'm not a coward. So I'm going to keep playing UGK as loud as I can in this lift. Pocket full of stones. And then I think, man, I should tell David to stop playing UGK as loud as he can in this lift because this is kind of embarrassing. But then I think, I don't want to be a coward. So I can't tell him to stop playing UGK as loud as he can in this lift. And then fast forward.

So it's, you know, just kind of like that. Basically, if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Oh, I texted David.

I go, dude, if you don't play UGK as loud as you can in this lift, you ain't shit. And then I just see him looking through his phone, and then he fucking did it. Of course. It was hilarious. Are you going to threaten me with a good time?

If you don't do this thing that you usually want to do. If you don't have a gummy bear, you're in trouble, mister. If you don't eat too much Taco Bell tonight, Sean, you're a coward. It wasn't a hard walk. If you don't get wings for the whole house, because you want them really bad. I like the family hanging out. I love the family house, too. If I don't buy an extra window darkener for my room.

I just spray painted the windows. They're done now. Now, with that in mind, what will the order of today's fantasy draft be? I'm feeling generous. Ian's going first. Ian Carmel. Oh, shit. Doesn't happen a lot.

No, it almost never happens. He likes to hang around the corner, though. I do. I like the hot corner. Ian's going first. Shane second. David third. I'm last.

All right. Oh. I just wanted to hear you guys all do your different. All right. Okay. I have the first pick in the overrated things all fantasy everything draft, I just wanted to hear you guys all do your different. I have the first pick in the overrated things, all fans here, everything draft, and we will get to that pick right after this.

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I like it. You like sex in the shower? Are you shower really can we just say like sex in water are we saying sex in the shower like like if you want to take like a hot tub or something well yeah yeah that's what i'm saying like i'm taking sex in the shower it all sucks yeah i'm on the shower if you want to sort of like i think it depends on the show no i wouldn't that's what i'm saying like it all just sucks. I mean, just let your conscience be your guide if you want to have a bad podcast and later

on take sex in a hot tub. That's not what I was getting at. I was just saying like all of it, it's just the worst. Sex in the shower. Yeah. I've been in two, maybe three showers in my entire life that were accommodating for sex. Maybe. One was a steam shower for me. Yeah, a steam shower,

one of those dual heads. The waterfall ones are the overhead ones, the rain showers, I guess. It's terrible. The ones that would be good for it, the ones without water that have a bed in them. That would be great for sex. Sure, it's just like a bed.

It's like, that was a riff. Brilliant shit. The water's hitting you, and maybe it's just because I'm a 6'3 man of distinguished size. No, it's the distinguished size. I tried to get a beach in a shower once, and either I got a hunch over to shield her from the hot water pelleting down, or I leaned back and she can't breathe. Right.

Because you know what? You need to breathe your mouth and your nose. Yeah. You know what it's hard to do? Breathe through your nose in the shower. Water's hitting like one of you and the other person has wet hair, but it's getting cold. Someone is cold. Yeah.

Part of it is cold. No matter what, even if you try to put your leg up, then your whole thigh is outside the shower and that's cold. And it's like your bottom butt. Your bottom butt? Like when your leg is on the side and it's all the way out and your cheeks are kind of spread, then it's like a gust behind your, you know, your ball bag. Yeah, it is.

And then you're, nobody wants to fuck with a cold ball bag. And if the person receiving is like bent over, you know, or whatever, then the water's like hitting them kind of on the back and you kind of on the stomach. Yeah. But your torso's cold. It's just wrong.

The water distribution is always wrong. Again, unless you're Richard Branson having a shower on Necker Island or whatever, you know, then I guess it's great to fuck there. But like, it's just weird. It's just not a good place for sex. It's kind of like fun and sexy at first. And then while you're in the act of it, you're like, what?

It was cool when you were 20. Yeah. It's some 20-year-old shit. I don't have time for sex in the shower anymore. I've never successfully done it. No? No. I have a ton of times.

How do you like it? I like it. Probably with most partners, I've tried it. And it's bad every time. Every time. I don't even want anybody in there. I'm washing my balls. This is going to take a minute.

Get out of here. Right. And then it's like, okay, so we're in the shower. Am I actually going to take a shower? Then the soap comes out. You're like soaping each other up. It's just like you're doing a bad job. Yeah.

You want to. It's weird to make a mess in a shower. It's terrible. It's also getting heavier in the shower. Also, you want to see me scrub my taint with this washcloth? You want to know the reason I have two washcloths? It's because one is for the undertone. Do you really want to look at all these empty shampoo bottles I haven't thrown out yet?

Is that what you want? My goddamn... Just clearing them out like a bunch of old Legos. Stolen hotel graveyard in there? You want to see my penis be the focal point for the water that's beating off my body? Yeah. So it's all just trickling down and then it looks like I'm pissing? It's crazy.

It's all bad. It's all bad. I don't want. The visuals are bad. I mean, sex is great anywhere, but it's not that fun in the shower. It's just bad. I've never wanted anyone else in the shower with me in my entire life. You ever have the hot water start to run out while you're fucking in the shower?

Yeah. I think it's intimate. I like it. I don't think it's hot. Splattered with lukewarm water. What else is intimate? Having sex in a bed. Anywhere.

Love in an elevator. That's intimate. I'm insane. Here's what I'll say. I think if you're going to try and have sex with somebody in a shower, it's like it is always going to be an attempt at being intimate. And sometimes when you're having sex in a bed, it is just having sex in somebody in a shower, it's like it is always going to be an attempt at being intimate. And sometimes when you're having sex in a bed, it is just having sex in a bed. Oh, it's not intimate?

Sometimes, and it's not. Not for everyone. No, no, no, it's not for everyone. I have had some sex that was not intimate. All right, all right. No, that's completely true. I've had some sex that was not intimates. Nice, bro.

It's a dessert cake. Fuck you some sex that was not intimates. Nice, bro. It's a dessert cake. Fuck you on that crumb cake, girl. It's just not where I want to... Then you get into that weird, like, I don't know, man. I don't fuck with being wet. It's weird. It's more than both people standing up and then tweaking someone's nipples. While you're both facing each other standing up, it feels more like a prank than sex.

You know what I've noticed about water recently? And this is true. You know what I've noticed about it? I either want to be all the way wet or not at all wet. That's very fair. I don't want to be partially wet and not wet. And the temperature, if it's right for me, it's not right for you. It's just, Shigerou, you have long hair.

Do you get a wet every time? Do you ever get shampoo in your pee hole before you're trying to bang? Are you actually washing yourself before sex in the shower? I mean, if I'm in there, I'm going to do what I... Listen, I'm not going to walk into the grocery store and not buy some vegetables. You know what I'm saying? What? I know where you're going.

Yeah, Sean does. Sean walks into the grocery store and doesn't buy vegetables all the time. I'm just saying, you know what I mean? If I'm here. It means he's a selfish lover. He's not buying vegetables. He's a selfish lover. Sean doesn't buy vegetables.

If he doesn't lean over and open that door, he's a selfish lover. You know, he doesn't buy vegetables if you catch my drift. Now, here's what I like. I do like a hot bath with a partner or lover. Sure. That I like. That's just a hot tub with a partner or lover. That I like. That's just a hot tub indoors. You can take it a little slower, wash your hair or his, whatever you're doing.

Or the non-binary. Wash their hair. I don't think I've ever taken a shower with a woman. What? You've never taken a shower with a woman? I took a bath with a girl once. It was on my 18th birthday. And I honestly think that's like the only, if I'm really, because I've been doing it the whole time.

Yeah. Yeah, I've been thinking this whole time, and I don't think I ever have, ever. Well, it's awful, Sean. Yeah, it's not. I like it, Sean. Have sex with someone in a shower. Have sex with Shane in the shower. Yes.

It'll be amazing anyway that's all it took to like you can shampoo my hair sex in the shower that is a fantastic it is overrated

the movies have lied to us they fucking do the movies it looks mad cool in the movies I'll tell you what I've seen plenty of it looks mad cool

in the movies shower sex scenes the color of a knife to be fair we don't look like the guys in those shower sex scenes that's fair yeah you know what it is? Sean does a little bit. Sex right after

either of you took a shower. I mean, that part's tight. You like that? You're glowing. You're dewy. I don't know what smells better than freshly washed. Alright. I get it. I get it. You walked me into a trap. You backed me into a corner. Now I'm saying...

You might not be listening at night, but we recorded at night God, I hope my mom doesn't listen to this one Mine is We recorded on sexy night Shane Torres, it's time for your first pick on the heels of my blistering first pick that I was 100% correct about

I am picking with my first pick I was very torn between two things, but I'm picking going to college. Whoa! Whoa, I thought about it! Fuck. It's not. It is overrated.

It's not bad if you go, but it is certainly overrated for a lot of people. It's like soup plantation. It's hard to say. What? It's like soup plantation. Yeah, it's not bad. It's not to say. What? It's like soup plantation. Yeah, it's not bad. It's not overrated, but if you go, it's all right. Also, it seemed like a much better idea in high school.

It is. Yes. It is like soup plantation. There it was. Yeah. And you're going to see somebody from high school and college. Yeah. Probably working there.

Well, you went to college, right? I went to junior college. But you have a degree, right? No. He's got a PhD, a play-hated degree. Pretty huge deal. I just think it's such a fucking crock half the time. Well, I mean, it didn't work out for me.

If you can't afford to go and you're spending all this money trying to be there and not having a plan. Right. I think that's true. Some people can't afford it. They need to be told a better way to do it. It's like some people lose money just like swimming when they think, like you could have just figured out what you wanted to do and worked at Kmart. For a lot of people.

Sure. You walk straight out of high school and go to the Chrysler factory and start putting doors on cars. I also got wrapped up in- Chrysler's not a company. I know. That guy should have gone to college. What I'm saying is, I think it can be a tremendous waste of money and time if people don't have a direction when they go.

If you were a bad high school student who barely graduated, you need to think about whether you really want to go to college. That was me, and I went to college. Most of you aren't graduating. It's a lot of people going just because it's what's next. That for sure happens. Or to keep their parents' insurance yeah which was a big thing so no it was scary when i was 18 and i didn't know what i was gonna do i remember being very nervous yeah but then what did you do because it wasn't college took a year and a half and then i took my act as did very

poorly and then i was like in placement classes in college, which was frustrating. Dude, I tell you, the day I got to college, I unloaded my fucking suitcase in my room at Northwestern Oklahoma State University. I looked around that room and I said, this was the wrong move, dude. Did you really feel that way? As soon as I got, like, as soon as,

because my buddy Fresh, my buddy Fresh dropped me off, and then he went to his house. And he was like, all right, I'll see you tomorrow. Fresh had a house? Yeah, Fresh had a crib. Shout out to Dougie. Dougie Fresh dropped you off at? Yeah, I mean, his name is Douglas Wayne Haynes, if you want, or we're saying full names. I don't know what you want from me.

No, I'm just saying. He lived with his kid Penner. Douglas Wayne Haynes? Yeah. That's a fucking name. Yeah, he's a good dude. he's a good dude he's a good dude i ever knew at the time uh the point is he dropped me off in my room and as soon as he left i just like i hooked my tv up first before i even took my clothes out and i looked around the room

and i like looked down the hall and shit like that and i was just like nah this ain't it like i've been like whatever i was supposed to this isn't what I was supposed to be doing. I guess being told to go to college is the overrated thing I'm reaching. No, going to college for a lot of people doesn't work. It wasn't to do anything for what I wanted to go do. Yeah. I mean, what did you get your, you're the only one in here with a degree, right? Political science, baby.

Yeah. I'm glad I went to college. But I was a, you know, middle class white kid uh i still took out hella loans yeah and i mean like i am glad like you didn't get a high level income before most people out of college exactly that's why i think i'm there like i paid off my student loans do you think college had much to do with that yeah i mean like i always wanted to ask you it's weird i was always going to go to college there was no two ways about it yeah right right right ivan carmelo's mom and dad right yeah mom you know she she got a nursing degree like post graduate degrees my mom

didn't but she like i mean she didn't really need one she was like i mean she was a mother by like uh you know i think the age of 21. Back when you could do that. Yeah, with my brother, Ben. So she didn't go to college right away, but she did go to nursing school. Which is a degree, which is school. Which is school, yeah. Yeah, it's a trade.

It's like a trade almost. Especially then when they were like, my mom. You're not doing that too. Yeah, yeah. My mom, she went to nursing school. Yeah. And then she got her NP after 40 years of nursing or something my mom was gonna be a nurse but then she hated blood so she became a social worker

there was a blood in the nursing class so like i mean we spoke bronic in my house there i was just always gonna go there was no two i don't i have no idea what i would have done if i didn't i would have been like i feel like you would have taken a different road to where you're at I don't know man were you going to go to law school at one point? that was the idea because we started living together in Portland

right when you were graduating we lived together.com I will say though one positive thing I will say for college is I've always thought about this. Is that time from 18 to 22, and I hate to be so, like, man-centric, but I don't know what it's like for girls. But that time for 18 to 22, if you're a young man out in the world and you don't have a lot of parental supervision,

that's when... I know people who made life decisions in that time that turned them in a place that they could never get away from. I know people who... I know people that that's when they got... That's when they decided to start getting money

outside the law, and it fucked them up. I know people that that's when they got on drugs when they decided to get start getting money kind of outside the law and it fucked them up i know people that that's what you get on drugs a lot of my friends kids was like when they started having it yeah high school like a lot of people make a lot of especially dudes my friends like that's why i started comedy is i was so scared of what we all did from 18 to 22 that i had to like go away and do something else yeah so i will say that it is good to take all these people, all these young people and have them cool out over here before they know the consequences of the world. Cause that is like 18 to 22 is like,

it's a gauntlet. If you don't go to college, if you don't go to college, it's a gauntlet and it'll, it can really fuck you up. Yeah. Yeah. I was not ready for an unstructured life.

Exactly. I, yeah, yeah. I was not ready for an unstructured life. Exactly. I'm still overcoming things I did from 18 to 22. It was expensive, but, like, I mean, I'm glad I went. Like, for me, it was fun, first of all. I do wish I had had the experience of, like, yeah, I didn't do it right. I feel like there's a shorthand that you don't have if you didn't do it.

The things I learned, I learned a lot of great stuff. I learned to become a better writer. I learned more about the world. Even in the poli-sci classes, but outside of them as well, I learned a shitload. I took the improv class because I needed an arts credit, which sent me down the comedy path. I'm a professional writer now, and I was writing for the school paper. You do broaden yourself in college.

There are good things about it. But I think just being told you have to go to college can be such a big thing. It's like, go to a trade school. Your buddy Brian, who barely graduated high school, unless he really wants to go to college, should go be a plumber. He's still going to make plenty of money. There's a lot of people who are like $40,000 in debt right now who are like, fuck you, don't go to college.

You know what I mean? But like you said, I was lucky. I got like a high-paying job outside of – yeah, fairly early. That's 29, but yeah. No, that's still really good. That's fucking super early. If you don't go to college, understand that there is a base level of knowledge that at some point you're going to be young David Borey, 31 years old, reading a people's history of the United States, like guns, germs, and steals and shit, just trying to like catch up, you know? There's a truth to that.

Yeah. Like without the structure of academia, you do fall behind. Yeah. 100%. Just on the basic shit. On the basic shit. But also. I never wanted to do anything that I needed to go to college for in the first place, really.

Like I was never really wanted to be a lawyer or an attorney, you know. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Well, you know, look, look. Shane's wearing a denim jacket. I'm wearing a denim shirt. I would love you to wear denim. If you guys were both lawyers out at law, man, that's a power fucking team right there.

That would be a... Torres and Carmel attorneys at law. Oh, God. Yeah. The new Salino and Barnes. Or Follian. Or Foll and Barnes. Or Fallian would be shaking in their boots. Torres and Carms, exotic

animal... Exotic animal attorneys. What is the... Exotic animal custody. www.google.com What's the wooden thing Jewish people put outside their doors that you kind of,

like it's like a, kind of like a, not like a crucifix. A Gentile. A Gentile. God damn it. A mezuzah. Is that what it's called?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be that and a crucifix outside of her to like right next to one another. And we'd walk in and like put one just a little higher every day. Every day? It's like a little one-up?

Yeah, but Ian's taller. And I'd bring Myers-Leonard in and put it like 10 feet up. You hide all the chairs in the office so I can't stand on them. And then Shane brings El Gigante to put it on the roof. Who's El Gigante? He's a wrestler that put a WCW back in the day. El Gigante.

So going to college, sure. Yeah, we've heard both sides. David Borey, it's time for your first pick of things that are overrated. So this is fucked up. All right. This is fucked up because I just got a jacket downstairs. This is fucked up because you're wearing a shirt. You're wearing a shirt.

But I am going to say, and this is fucked up because my team is strong. Whoa. But I am going to say, and this is fucked up because my team is strong. But I think jeans are overrated, dog. Holy fuck. Jeans's bottoms. That's what you meant. Way overrated. We were on our way here and David's like,

I got some fucking weird pants. I'm not wearing jeans right now. Dude, every pant is better. I understand that you can work in a good pair of jeans and they'll become great for you, but dockers are that on the first hit. Yeah. Dickies are that on the first hit. Like joggers are that on the first hit.

Like we like jeans because they were a working class person thing. They're for working. Jeans aren't for like going on a date. They are for working. But then fucking rich people decided that working class shit was cool and they started wearing jeans. Jeans aren't for us. I don't plumb. I don't carpet.

Right. Like jeans are whack, dude. But it's like it shouldn't be the standard of cool pants. Like dress pants feel so much better. I don't think I've seen you in jeans. I don't fuck with jeans. What did you wear on your condoms? This is like a fucking usual suspects moment.

I wore black jeans. But that's a thing. Yeah, and it's a thing. I haven't really fucked with jeans since high school, to be completely honest with you. I like, no, I don't really. I haven't really fucked with jeans since high school, to be completely honest with you. I'll tell you. I like jean jackets.

I like denim as a shirt. It makes way more sense to me as a shirt. It's way more comfortable. It's a thinner denim, the shirt. It's a thinner denim, but it's still strong. Yeah. And I like a strong shirt. Yeah.

So you like a little snap, like a little tightness. Yeah, yeah. But as a pant, no, I think it's. I don't understand. It's working class. It's for poor people. I don't wear jeans that often, but we do have two. I mean, I wear them once or twice a week.

Right. You guys are jeans people. I always wear them. I never wear anything else. But I will say this. I jog in my jeans. I hate shopping for jeans. I hate shopping for jeans because they never feel the way I want them to feel.

No. They just never do. I want them to feel. No. They just never do. So you got to work it in. Do you think it's an out of shape thing? Listen, me and you meet and we love each other from the jump. That's a good relationship. Me and you meet and you got to beat me into submission every day for three months until my will subsides and I just recede to the curves of your body, is that a good relationship?

Or do you just have a new slave? I'm not fucking with that shit, man. I'm not for jeans. And this is just because we're curvier men. Curvy boys. Do you think when someone like Zach tries on jeans, it just feels good right away? No, man.

Because a big guy sucks. Even when I was like... Sean's got, you know, two fresh legs. And even when I was an athlete, even when I could go to fucking wherever and buy pants, it would still be like, you put on jeans and they feel weird. They feel weird on your dick. They feel bad on your dick.

You have to wear underwear with them. You know what's fucked up, too? You have to wear underwear with jeans. People are like, you shouldn't wash your jeans. What? Yeah, okay. What a good sign of a thing I want to keep. Well, you should put them in the freezer instead of washing them. What the fuck does that mean? I've done that.

I do it. The cold kills the germs, so it kills the smell. Washing it kills that. But fuck that, dog. We invented soap. It's one of the greatest things we ever did as people. One of the greatest things we ever did as people was make soap. You're saying I can't put the best shit we made on my new fucking

pants? Fuck out of here, bro. I'm not a jeans guy. I think jeans are overrated. I understand, and I know how a good pair of jeans can really feel good, but I'm just saying on the whole, as a movement, mad overrated. What's the best pair of jeans you've ever owned? Levi's, always.

501s. 501s are the only jeans I've ever even had that's, always. 501s. Yeah, 501s. 501s are the only jeans I've ever even had that I liked. As a kid, I wore jeans because I thought I had to, but they were never uncomfortable. Or it would just take so long. By the time they got super comfortable, they didn't look that cool. Yeah.

And then it was like, fuck, dude. What are you going to say? They're stretchy jeans. Yeah, I was about to get into that. I just got my first pair of stretchy jeans from The Gap. They give a little give. So is that denim? They give a lot of give.

Is it still denim? It's denim. But it's like a blend, right? Women are living in a different jean world than we are. They have been for years. There's a stretchy sort of jean. Laura's been wearing sweat jeans for like three years. Their jeans are supposed to fit a different way, too.

I'm fine with it. They can see the whole outline. I don't care. If it gave me that stretch, I'd love to be able to squat and bend in jeans. That's what these fucking jeans that I just got. I was keeping the company of an esteemed young lady recently, and she had a variety

of pairs of these stretchy jeans. You'd look at her, and you're like, you're wearing jeans. And then you'd put, you know. You're in such a good mood for having jeans on. I was a huge proponent of the pajama jean movement. Oh, my God. It's a great movement. Yeah.

You get your hands around it. Is that still a thing or did it go by the wayside? What? The pajama jean thing? I think it kind of. It kind of made an exit, right? Yeah, it was like a Walmart thing. But, like, I just, I've thought that, I've really pulled out of jeans since I was like,

since I used to hang out with these Mexican dudes and like since I found out you could wear Dickies every day, I just – I'm not – I wear jeans – in one year, I'll wear jeans 20 times at the most. How many of those are like holidays or events? I mean two of them this year were when I was straight up on TV. Yeah. 10% of the time you wear jeans. It's because I'm on television. Straight up on TV.

Yeah, I don't really. Even when I buy 501s, I'll buy them because they're good to have and they look nice sometimes, but I just don't. Day to day, I just like pants, man. Yeah, the older I get. Or even just like, I'll get some polo, just some flat fronts, regular pants.

I'm wearing like these weird sweatpants, dress pants right now. They look great. They don't look sweatpants. They look great. You should stop telling people they're sweatpants. I just feel guilty, but they're- You feel guilty? Sean walked up to me in the mall today, those pants, his gold rim.

He looked like Leon from The Professional. Yeah. Looked cool as hell. Yeah. It was fun. But yeah, I have like dress He looked like Leon from The Professional. Looked cool as hell. It was fun. But yeah, I have dress pants I bought from the Banana Republic a month ago that I just wear on the regular now. My sweat jeans. I have a regular pair of jeans that I haven't touched in three months.

They're just sitting there. Regular daggers. Regular ass jeans. I just never feel like... But you're a jean guy, so I don't want to... But yeah, but if I just started wearing shorts... Well you're a jean guy, so I don't want to... Yeah, but if I just started wearing shorts, I think... If I wore the shorts David was wearing right now,

you guys would be like, well, what the fuck is this? I would get so much shit from you guys. Oh, what's new? Yeah, but you do anyways. What are we talking about? Yeah, but I can't just give you stuff. You could show them the fucking Gucci tuxedo, dog.

Yeah. Like, oh, somebody finally did something. Way to make Gucci look bad is what I'd say, you know? Hard to make Gucci look good, man. Hard to make Gucci look good. You could make Gucci look bad. But, yeah, that's jeans. Jeans.

Chantel Jordan, this is time for your first and your second pick as it is. A Serpentine Draft. 3D movies. Yes! There you go. 3D fucking movies. That is good as hell. It would be more overrated if you fucking, it is shocking when someone's like, yeah,

we're going to the 3D, and I'm like, cool. So I'm going to put those, I know they're used glasses on, even though they put them in new wrapper, I know they've been used. I know how movie theaters go. Yeah, because you put them away. Otherwise, why would they ask for them back? Seriously. Seriously! And they put them in new fucking wrappers. And fuck you for asking for them back for a $24 movie.

I get to pay like five more dollars. I get to break these in the parking lot. I was already going to have a stress headache from how much the movie cost, but I can tack five more bucks on there just to really give me diarrhea on top of the headache. So I can get ear lice from that fucking... And then a headache just from wearing the...

I hate having them there. I'm aware of them the entire time. Everything's kind of dim, like dimmer than it normally is in a movie theater? No thanks. Because they're making goggles

that have to both fit the head of a Filipino baby and me. What sunglasses is that? You don't know what to ask them. Like, you tell me how this is one size fits all. Because I thought you knew it was an eagle rock in Glendale, dude.

It's got to fit a Filipino baby, crotch Cosgarian, and Ian Carmel. And it's one pair of lions. One size fits all is a big lie. Yeah, so I'm aware of them the whole time because they're not big enough. And like a very old woman who's into Solo for some reason.

Yeah, her and I are at Solo. The Mario fan Peeble? No, that's Ballistic X versus Solo. No, that's Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas. Ballistic X versus Solo. It is Solo, you're right, my man. Jesus Christ.

Oh, God. That was a Simon Torres standby. Was it? Oh, yeah. Any action movie, Pops just had like, well, she's working the night shift. Here you go. That was a solution for Goliath. Death wish.

Death wish. Yeah, man. 3D movies just. I hate them. Have you ever seen one you like? I'm so tired. Have you ever seen one you enjoy? I saw Captain EO in Disneyland when when i was like six and that's not

even a real one i've never seen a new one that i liked no alice in wonderland was the first one i went to with like the new wave of 3d movies and i went in portland and i right away i was just like no i'm not in yeah i saw avatar in 3d in imax and that's probably the the best one i've ever seen and like 20 minutes in my eyes were tired like I would have to like take them off or I would like close my eyes a lot during them also the Avatar was like the one they were really selling it on

you have to see this this is the way to see it and you're like and it was for 20 minutes we also spent a billion dollars making it please see it I just like watching movies is the thing well i didn't yeah i know i want to enjoy movies you have to that's it's the same with like stand up where they're like we shot this all dynamic no crowd in a room it's like i just like people

watching i just like watching people tell jokes yeah also what the fuck is up with the avatar movies when is that next one coming out 2020 which is crazy because i don't remember them making a pocahontas 2 yeah you gotta go like the deep cuts it's out the cut of flandrew they have a pocahontas 2 somewhere i mean maybe no they don't really i'm just kidding yeah 3d movies all of them there's like no reason for it it'll be like like oh a baseball flew at the screen and then it's just the same movie. I don't see them as much as I was for a while. I won't anymore.

Because they doubled down recently. Sometimes post 2010 until now, they really got back into them. There was a while, like, mid- aughts. Early to mid-aughts, I feel like there was a while where everything was coming out 3D. Yeah, like I remember the new Fright Night came out in 3D.

I saw that in 3D. I think we might have seen it together. Yeah, we might have. We might have seen it in fucking Boise, I bet. When we saw fucking Now You See Me 2 or whatever. I think we went to both those. Oh, is that the magician movie with Jesse Eisenberg? Yeah.

One of those where they're like, you got to see it in 3D, dude. You've never seen Dave Franco throw cards as weapons until you've seen it in 3D. At that point, it might have been you've never seen James Franco's brother throw cards in 3D. You're going to feel like that card's really going to give you a tiny little paper cut on your forehead. I've seen his brother date underage girls. That's what I've seen. Damn, Gina. Talk about it.

Damn, Gina. You're going to be on Boys. You've got to get into nature. It's beautiful. I hear there's beautiful nature up there. Yeah. I've heard of Big Sky. I've heard of Big Sky and it's full of stars.

That's all I hear. You know, I was reading a book about that one time. We should have Big Skies all over the country, bro. By the way, round trip tickets, $150 to Mexico City. We should all do a weekend soon. I'm into that, yeah. Not from... Yeah, all right.

All right. If I'm the fourth person to buy the ticket, sure. Fuck it. Of course, you're going to be the last one to buy it. Indeed. You're going to somehow buy the ticket two days after we all got there, but you'll still be there somehow. Yeah.

I got a ticket on Spirit Airlines that let me fly two days ago. It was $87. Yeah, they just put me in a slingshot. Yeah. They just kind of, I just held on. 3d movies are overrated i agree what uh what else you got now this is gonna be man i don't want to go in the movie vein again then don't well all right i'm gonna say alexa and just alexa i'm gonna say

all right yeah i don't know maybe i've never used this i don't it's just a thing that's not on the table well i don't i don't but that's the used it. This makes me feel like you don't have Alexa. Well, I don't. I don't. But that's the thing. It just feels hella overrated, and that was one of the things I've never, ever used it. Well, our chief technology officer, Marissa, do you fuck with that kind of stuff? Like Alexa and like Siri and yeah. I have a fully smart home apartment.

She has a fully smart home apartment. I bet it's dank. Is it dank? It's dank, Sean. The few times I've seen people integrate it. Yeah. You gotta go see it.

You're not exactly the kind of person once you saw it you'd be like, oh, that's tight. You would definitely do something like, fuck, dude,

you know what? Marissa's apartment has gotten fucking awesome. You'd be like, you called me at four in the morning East Coast time to tell me

while you guys are all drunk pulling your shirts off. Yeah, that's true. You love it. No. I just had to go. It's our love language.

Why don't you guys share and talk about that on the podcast? My boy Mel, shout out to Tramiel Cooks. Oh, yeah. My boy Mel. I was going to say, you mean Tramiel? Yeah. No, I mean Mel. Anyways, he's got his Alexa fully integrated, and she plays a lot of music for him.

Oh, yeah. So Mel can be like, he'll be like, Alexa, play something like Block Boy JB. And she will, and you're like, whoa. Like, she, like, as far as learning music tastes, it is, like, very impressive. Sean, you're going to get into it, dude. You're going to be like, you're going to get home. You should. Alexa, cook my beans.

Alexa, play Lightning Crashes by Live into it, dude. You're going to be like, you're going to get home. You should. Alexa, cook my beans. Alexa, play Lightning Crashes by Live. Alexa, Nicole. Oh, what if there was an app called Nicole? And then you could just yell at it. She's just in the rain outside. Yeah. Yeah. No.

No, thank you. No coal is what I say. It just seems overrated. And yeah, you're right. Alexa, don't tighten Ian's trucks for a whole summer so he never learns how to skateboard. There's a skate key, right? I'll tighten them tonight.

What do I know from skate keys? Oh, you got one of those big boys? You got a big boy with a wheel to it? I got a big boy board. Does it have a wide one? No, but it's like an 875. I want to get a wide board, because I know how to ride a skateboard,

so I feel like I could do it. But anyways, that's not the point. Alexa, don't tighten Ian's truck. I understand what you're saying, because I just watched that movie AI and it's deep. And you have to think about technology when you watch Haley of Jaws. I just watched Ex Machina the other night. Maybe that's where this is coming from.

I think that is. I think it is. Have you seen her? That's terrifying. That'll make you not fuck with Alexa because you don't want to fall in love. Spike Jonze directed her. Have I seen her?

I mean, that's why I don't fuck with Alexa because I don't want to catch feelings. Hers is that movie about Nellie saying here, right? Yeah. It's getting real hot in her won an Oscar before Martin Scorsese. Ben

her. Ben's where? Ben her. Our friend Nick, when you could steal Kazaa, you know, LimeWire back in the day, he wanted to hear Hot in Her so bad, he just hit, you know how you'd mash every one and you'd map the percentages? And then as soon as one finished,

he didn't stop the other ones. So he downloaded Hot in Her five times on Joey's computer, and we just called him Hot in Her five times for a couple years. That's pretty good. Five times. Did you ever have CDs that just had the same song like four times?

Tipsy, yeah, Tipsy. It had it like eight times. Brought it over the aforementioned Scooch the Duchess crib. That was the offspring for me. I had a bunch of offspring songs. Nick Nampe, dude, friend of the podcast, not in the studio, not on the mic, had loved Tipsy by Jake Wann. Yeah.

I love it in the beginning when he says, but I got a fake ID, though. One, here comes the two, to the three, to the four. We were in Minneapolis, the city we'll be going to. And Adam knew about that. I call it Miniscrapolis. Yeah. I call it Moneyapolis, bro. I like that.

That was probably good. I call it Mini Ripperton. Because it's beautiful. It's love and it's easy because it's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I call it Honey Apple Crisp. Honey Apple Crisp? Yeah.

The king of the apples. Don't bring up this apple thing. Ooh, the blowback. They've been coming at my neck. All family has never turned on you before. Yo, they've been on my bumper. Because you fucking... What?

All family turned on David. For what? Apple reasons? I fucked around and said I like Red Delicious, and they don't like that. No, nobody likes it. You don't like Red Delicious? They don't. No, I do love...

No, but they don't. They think that I'm a heathen for liking Red Delicious. It's a hog ass. It's a noble for hogs. I'm in that car passenger seat with you. I love Red Delicious. Don't tell them. The shit they say to me already, they can

fuck right off. You guys can have your fucking rest area apples. Go ahead and eat them. Your rest stop apples. Yeah. Red Delicious is the kind of apple that you find in a restop vending machine. Some people like ham sandwiches the best. Ham sandwiches are fine. I love a ham sandwich.

Yeah, but if spicy Italian is on the board, you don't. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Well, you took the heat off my Alexa pics. Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. I got a controversial pick coming up second, too. That was the least controversial. Red Delicious is like a ball of styrofoam that somebody sprayed like Bod Man shampoo on.

When they're done well, they're good. It's a good texture. It's the perfect size. No. All apples are the perfect size. No, some are bigger than others. We're not going into this. Is it my pick?

Yeah. Okay. My second pick. Honeycrisp apples. But this one, yeah. Overrated. I don't even. I think this one is going to get me some hate too.

That's why I'm going to do it and then go to the bathroom. My second pick is ketchup. Oh. I mean, I'm a condiment. For what? I'm a condiment. For what? All right.

I'm a condiment, man. For what? For what? For what? You can't just keep saying for what. Who fucking cares? For what? For fries?

For scrambled eggs? Yeah. For hash bristles. You like ketchup better than hot sauce on scrambled eggs? I like both. I like the spicy ketchup. I do like ketchup on my hash bristles. All ketchup does is bring down the flavor.

I brought, listen, I brought these eggs with cayenne pepper to turn up at the party. Don't smother my vibe with ketchup. Same with fries. On a burger? You go. Nah. I'll do, you know what I like on a burger? Some mustard and some mayonnaise.

I don't, I don't, especially if there's tomatoes on the burger. I wish I could say that was overrated, but that's never been rated, that weird concoction you just had. I don't fuck with ketchup, really. All right. I do. I just think about ketchup. I do dress it up.

You don't put it on. I do dress it up. Like, if I have ketchup, I'll put hot sauce in it and salt and pepper. Like, if I'm having fries. Exactly. Like, it's not, yeah, it's not enough. It does. Exactly.

And you only put it on three things. You only put it on burgers, dogs, and eggs. You don't put that shit on fries. You don't put that shit on nothing else. I mean, have hot dogs. You ever get a pizza and be like, oh, man, I should put some ketchup on it? No. Hot dogs?

Don't Irish people put it on spaghetti? The poor ones. So, yeah, Irish people. The poor, dumb ones. So, yeah, all of us. Chicken nuggets? Oh, yeah, dude. Chickie tendies all day.

No, barbecue sauce. Ranch, barbecue sauce, honey mustard. I'm dipping chicken in ketchup like my mom's not from another country. I know about spices. It does sit suspiciously high on the condiment hierarchy. I was going to start to choke on my compliments. Holy buckets. Shane chugged a bottle of Heinz 57 in protest.

No, I'm just saying it does sit way high up, and it doesn't do much for me. As a kid, I remember just saying it does sit way high up And it doesn't do much for me As a kid I remember thinking like I would always get hot dogs And I'd put ketchup and mustard on my dog And after a while I was like What are you doing for me? I like ketchup and mac and cheese

I like it, yeah, yeah Do you still? Yeah I do too I don't even That's crazy Will you put it on anything if you're not mixing it with another condiment Or you're not churching it up?

Yeah, right. Steak fries? Fries and chicken tenders all the time. I always do. Fries is a ranch game for me, man. Yeah, ranch. I guess what I'm saying is will you apply it to something if you have other stuff to mix it with? Nah, man.

I'm not really out here fucking with ketchup. I am. I won't tell them to not put it on a double cheeseburger at McDonald's because it's- They're probably going to end up hungry. But truthfully, no, man. I'm never going to... You're not

wrong in saying it's overrated in some aspect to certain people. I love ketchup, but I understand. I think the flavor is dull and it's a texture. Ketchup isn't a flavor. Ketchup is a texture. Tell me what you think.

You dip it in that because, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me. You dip it in ketchup because a fried potato is dry. You don't dip it in, you dip it in ketchup because a fried potato is dry and ketchup is the least offensive thing that you can moisturize. Will you put it on hash browns? No. Ketchup has a tiny little bite to it, though. And I'm not wrong. It does have a tiny little... Just a tiny one. And maybe it's because

I like... Bite? It's got a ting. Like a zing. A zing. A zing. A zing. A zing. It's got a ting. It's got a ting. A ting at most. It's got a ting, man. But not like a real rid-um ting. It's got a ketchup ting. No, like a triangle at the real ridom ting it's not a ketchup ting no like a

like a triangle at the end of your recital ting ting ting it's not a bad man ting well maybe no it's not a bad man ting yeah

is it cause I don't like tomatoes it's got a little zing to it it's got a little zest a zip maybe not a zest a phenomenal not a zip

I'm sorry I went too far but it does have a zing ketchup is boring as hell it's thickener it's texture it's have a zing. Ketchup is boring as hell. It's thickener. It's texture. It's not a flavor thing. It's a texture thing.

If you really look in your heart, ketchup is about texture, not flavor. I promise you. Wow. Is there a brand you prefer to another? No. I don't fuck with ketchup. It's not a brand thing. I just don't fuck with ketchup.

Wow. I don't fuck with ketchup. Wow. I don't like natural ketchup. No, like in Portland where they're like, we're making our own ketchup. That's because ketchup is bad. I want red number eight in my ketchup. I'm telling you, they sold you a false bill of goods, man. They sold it to us when we were kids. That shit is whack.

That shit is whack. If you get a Chicago dog, if you get a Chicago dog, you get a Chicago dog with all the shit on it, you put ketchup or you just put a little bit of mustard on the Chicago dog?

If it has, you get a Chicago dog and it has tomato mustard, it has tomato slices in it, you put ketchup on it? No, they'll laugh you out of the building. Tomatoes already

come right off the street. That's like a faux pas in general, right? Yeah, ketchup. Yeah, you know why? Because they got it. Because all those Puerto Ricans said, get this fucking ketchup out of here. That might be racist.

I don't really understand. I don't really understand. Banana sauce? Like a fire on the mountain? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds great. Banana sauce? Yeah.

Yeah, I'd fuck with that. It is gnarly. But I'm saying ketchup is not, as a flavor, it's not incredible. That's why it's never the main flavor in anything. True. Every other condiment has something where that's the main flavor. I now got to go to our chief Canadian officer, who is also our chief technology officer. They like to drink their fries and mayonnaise.

No, yeah, but they eat ketchup chips. Ketchup chips. Do you like ketchup chips? I don't mind them. She doesn't mind them. She doesn't mind them. She doesn't mind them. I've had them before.

It's a lot. Well, they have a lot. Yeah, because it's not a great flavor. The flavor is... But yeah, the French do mayonnaise instead of... And I think that's extended to Canada. You ever had mayonnaise in a little mustard? I'll do mustard on my fries.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll do mustard. Yo, mustard has been shackled behind the oppression of ketchup for far too long. For far too long. I had a lot of fry sauce

last weekend. Fry sauce is good as hell, which I think is mustard and ketchup. You know the only way I like ketchup? Something like that. Thousand Island

because they mixed it with mayonnaise. I'm not out here fucking with ketchup like that. It is weird that there are no other kinds of ketchup. Because it's not good. It's just some generic thing. Yeah, they got like sriracha ketchup.

Even with eggs, it's a thickener, man. It's spicy ketchup. Pasty eggs are a good texture. I can't go as far as you on this, but I do see where you're going. I'm not against everything you're saying. I'm truly not against everything you're saying. I still love ketchup. I'm not telling you much.

Way overrated. I'm not full socialist, but I'm definitely ready for free college. Here's all I'm telling you. Our kids, because no one in here has kids as far as we know. Our kids are not going to dip their fries

in ketchup. That is what I am telling you. That is what I am telling you. Big ketchup is the tower's top level. It's on its way out. It is. It is. I promise you. I feel like those Jordan boys will be.

Those Jordan boys. I mean, they were. But they also, they were conceived into a bath full of ketchup. That's the SD, that's the South Dakota natural. Oh, you heard about them Jordan boys. Well, I think we're all the same age where We were around for the inception of ranch Being a condiment

But we were around for ranch Being sort of For sort of a condiment though When ranch started to become a condiment Yeah, ranch, the rise of ranch, the rise of salsa We called that Texas ketchup I feel like I Did we talk about the rise of ranch on this podcast.

We did on the condiments episode. Yeah. Yeah, when you try to take – Bacon. Bacon. All the shit I get. Bacon is a condiment. Also, I'll take some bacon, dab it in the ketchup from time to time on the plate.

Sure. Yeah. Are you going to go to the bathroom? Yeah, I'm just looking at my next one to see if I'm – I got a lot of hard fights on this list. I love it. So it's like,

I got to pick and choose. I got a tricky one coming up. Shane, make your pick and then you go to the bathroom and think about what you're going to say. I'm going to say Radiohead for my second pick.

What? What in the world? You go to the bathroom. Okay. Go to the bathroom. Okay. You're lucky because I had some shit to do. Go to the bathroom. Okay. You're lucky because I had some shit to do.

Go to the bathroom. Bring me a LaCroix, please. Bring me a LaCroix and a cocktail. I'm going to go to the bathroom in a second. You think Radiohead? Yes. I think they're overrated as fuck. Well, why?

Okay, why? Get out of the bathroom. I was going to the bathroom. Get the shit out of me. I was going to the bathroom. I'm with you out of me. I was going to the bathroom. I'm with you, Shane. David is on Shane's mic right now. He's so with me, he jumped on my mic for it.

So we know David agrees. David has espoused his Radiohead views on this very podcast. You, though, I thought you would have loved Radiohead. You're right up Radiohead's alley. You're emotionally ambiguous. Bummed. I'm not ambiguous. You are, too, because sometimes you're... Bummed. I'm not ambiguous. Bummed.

You are, too, because sometimes you're... I'm emotional. I... Look, the good stuff is very good. Yeah. But I don't need to hear him wailing into the deep like some kind of fucking banshee. I've heard you take showers. What? And the shit that you listen to when you take a shower, my friend,

it wails way harder than Tom York. Yeah, because it's way gnarlier and way better than that fucking yutzy Englishman. Creep Alone is an iconic song. Creep is... It's overrated. They don't

suck. I'm saying it's overrated. There's two different things here. Okay, where do you feel like Radiohead falls in the zeitgeist as far as how they're appreciated? I just knocked the head of Mike Bargov. They're appreciated so greatly by their... How do I say this? Is this a product of you living in Portland? I'd love to know how you say this.

I can't wait to hear how you say this. With your mouth, preferably. Let's hear why Radiohead is overrated. And I get it, but they only tour. They barely tour. Once a year, you don't think they should sell out their tours when they tour? No, that's not the issue. The issue is that people,

they're not so fucking listenable. They make interesting music. Tom York is a cool singer. Was it the Greenwoods, right? The Greenwoods, the one that made the... There Will Be Blood. Yeah, I like that music.

Idiotech is dope. I know I've talked about that. Yeah. I just think like, the way people talk about them with such reverence, fucking... And Rainbows is amazing.

All those albums. Kidding. It's one of the bands that I can name like a bunch of them. They have like 10 dank songs at least. Seriously.

High and Dry is Dank in a skate video. High and Dry is Dank. I just get stuck when other people say it. I always like that Sean talk show host. Oh, yeah, dude. But from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack.

Fucking come on and break the door. I'll be waiting. I'll be waiting. With a gun and a pack of sandwiches. Which, by the way, listen to those lyrics. Listen to those fucking lyrics. You're saying college and Radiohead, dude. Like, 18-year-old me is feeling very attacked right now.

You did say college and Radiohead. Yeah, well, I'd tear your poster down if we were roommates. I did have an Offspring poster right up there. I like Offspring, too. I was going to say that Offspring was right there. Or, like, remnants of the Offspring poster was there. Offspring, not overrated. Definitely not overappreciated either.

I just, it's, I don't get it. You don't like that Tom York secluded himself in a bank vault to record Kid A or whatever it was? Something crazy like that. He did do that? Yeah. No, I do not like that. That's awesome. I think it's fucking stupid and I think it's so unnecessary.

It's awesome. And you know why? fucking stupid and I think it's so unnecessary. It's awesome. And you know why? Some fucking asshole is gonna do that exact same thing because that's how much they like Radiohead. Radiohead's fucking whack. Yeah, but they nailed it. They're not whack.

They're just fine. They're pretentious, but they deliver. Paranoid Android is dope. I used to not like Radiohead. Paranoid Android. I don't need rhyming album titles. I used to not. Rhead. I don't need rhyming album titles. I used to not Rango Tango? Have you ever heard me talk about

how I like Ted Nugent? Fuck off. You don't get to just pitch and hold because of the way I look, Ian. You don't need to talk about how you

like Ted Nugent. You're showing everyone. Yeah. I'm living it. Some of the songs are great, but they are overrated. It's just...

It's fine. I don't fucking... We've had this fight on this and more. We've had this fight. Hey, I'm telling you, you're rolling the boulder off a tough hill. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? We've had this fight here.

I've told him I don't feel... I like the National Anthem a lot. I like Idiotech a lot. Karma Police is amazing. That song fucking sucks. Karma Police is so irritating. Ugh, God, you just... What if it was like if a radio dial

was stuck? That's what that sounds like to me. It wouldn't sound at all like Karma Police. Karma Police has a great melody. High and Dry is great. I like that song. Well, look, we're not going to agree on this. David, do you want to get any hate shots then? Yeah, help me out.

No, I've already said my piece, man. And sorry to everybody who DMed me saying that they don't like Radiohead 2. Okay, it was one guy. Shout out to Joey Divine, though. Joey said it. It's on site, Joey. Next time Ian sees you, it's on site. It's on site.

You and all faux fantasy everything. I will get some shit for this, I'm sure. Well, people will have your back. No, they will. The internet is expanding. I just think they're overrated. I don't think they're bad. I just think they're overrated.

You made your point. Do you think people consider them what. I don't think they're bad. I just think they're overrated. You've made your point. Do you think people consider them what? I think people think they're like musical gods. The way some of these people talk about this band. That is how people talk about it.

And the woman I'm seeing right now is a huge radio fan. Ah, the truth comes out. Shane's got a girlfriend. Trouble in paradise. I don't know what it is, but I like her a lot. Shane and a Radiohead fan

sitting in a tree. You know the rest. It is good, it is good. Shane and this girl are fucking, and this girl are fucking, and this girl are fucking. Brunch until the bill comes. Shane is in the bathroom, bathroom. See? Waffles and tapas.

Waffles, tapas. Waffles and tapas. Waffles, tapas. Ketchup on his eggs. Ketchup on his eggs. Now they're just coming at me and you. Coming. Coming.

The food is coming. Yeah, Radiohead wails, man. I think I might like him when she dumps me. Yeah, that's the ultimate move. That's how you get it back. That is such a Shane Tornes statement. You could have an album named that. I think I might like him when she dumps me.

Oh, man. Good to have you back in town, buddy. Hey, buddy. Good to see you. I haven't felt like I've been sitting down in a while So that was fun Oh my god You two were really having to get up there

Y'all should see Schultz's face right now It's so red It is red It's redder than usual You didn't hear me scream? He had his head thrown back like he was Snoopy dancing It's redder than delicious Oh, those disgusting apples Time for my second pick It's like he was Snoopy dancing. It's redder than delicious.

Oh, those disgusting apples? Time for my second pick. Don't come at me, dog. Okay. If we're fucking, if we're mixing it up. No, we're doing it. We're doing it. All right. Thanksgiving food.

Oh! What? I had turkey on my shit. All right. It's dry as hell. I hate turkey. It's dry as hell. Turkey can fuck off.

Get it. It's always pretty bad. It usually fails.. Get it. It's always pretty bad. It usually fails. Knock it off. It does usually fail, man. That shit is dry as hell. A good moist turkey is incredible. If you're at somebody's house, you can't get the drums to get their shit.

Nope. Other people aren't giving you the legs, so I'm at your shit, and my mom gives me a leg because I'm a king, but I'm at your shit. I don't know you. I can't get a leg. Now I got to eat this white meat. I got to fucking pour gravy on it like it's delicious. I'm with you. Turkey fucking sucks.

Cranberry sauce is fucking whack. I came for the stuffing and the mac and cheese. I'm here for the stuffing and the mac and cheese. White people don't really do mac and cheese that often. Yeah, that is true. That is true. Or are you on green bean casserole? No, not really. I mean, I like those fried little onion things on top, but the rest of it I don't really need.

That was my first pick ever. I like gravy. Mashed potatoes are fine, too. Mashed potatoes are fine? That's why I always fuck with Christmas. That's why Christmas dinner is better. What are you at on the pies? I'm usually too full from all this bullshit food.

You're not a sweet guy. I'm not a sweet man. Savory guy. But you will. I'll have a little pumpkin pie. But like, it's not for me. You're really underwhelmed by Thanksgiving. I'm completely with you. I enjoy the process of gathering.

I love being open. You like hunting also, don't you? I like hunting. Hunting and gathering. I like gathering with people who I love. I do love consciously being grateful. We're just talking about Thanksgiving food. I'm talking about Thanksgiving food.

I still hard disagree with it. I hammer on the appetizers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's where people get creative. Well, I did Thanksgiving at Ivan Carmel's boathouse once. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. And there was caviar. And it was the first time I had ever had it. And the last time you ever had it. It was very apparent that it was the first time I had ever had it. It was very apparent that it was the first time I had ever had it. It was salmon roe. Shane was hiding

some in his sleep. Yeah, we were housing that caviar. Ivan may have said something, didn't he? I can see Ivan being like, Shane, where are you? That's like a couple

of elephant seals. He's just kind of staring at you. He's kind of like sweetly be like, maybe, you know, save some room Yeah I'm not gonna have any turkey

Oh Shane Ivan sounds more like you Than you do Shout out to Ivan I sat next to your dad At a comedy show one time He's fucking dope Great laugher

Great laugher He's the king of any room He walks into And I love him for it Yeah he's fantastic That's where you got it It is I learned it from my daddy You get it from his daddy got it. It is. I learned it from my daddy.

You get it from his daddy. I learned it from my daddy. You guys should do a dual album like Birdman and Lil Wayne. Whoa. He'd do it too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've been writing stand-up for a while now. I'm pretty funny. Yeah, I don't really fuck with Thanksgiving.

I don't like... Gravy on anything. The event. It's fun watching TV Yeah, I don't really fuck with Thanksgiving. I don't, I like. No, I get you. Gravy on the Thanksgiving. It's fun watching TV with all the dudes. It's fun watching, and this is old school gender roles, I understand. But it's fun walking into the kitchen and like hanging out with all the ladies. But I love the familial aspect of Thanksgiving. I do too. But the food is, I like Christmas food because everybody can freestyle.

Yes. I'll tell you this. Like a ham over turkey. A fun one? No. Ham over turkey. Leftovers wise? Leftovers wise?

Think about leftovers. Ham over turkey. Turkey's always drier. Ham over turkey. I like ham. You can make sandwiches out of all that shit. You making turkey sandwiches out of that dry ass white meat? Those big like bark dust sized ass.

Are you talking about the human flesh that is ham? It's so close. It's just, I go turkey over ham. Cool, you're picking. Here's the thing. If you're going to force me into that arena, I'm not that against eating humans. So, yeah. Yeah.

If we need to have that talk, then I'm fine. Yeah, I'll cook a ham up. I'll cook a ham up for a certain time. According to a certain scientific report, it's going to happen in about 11 years. Oh, yeah, right? That's fucking... Hopefully we don't run out of ketchup, you know? Church it up a little bit.

Man, I didn't need to start with ketchup. You know what I'm saying? You're joining this program already in progress. Is there a thing, if you were close to starvation, that you guys hate to eat that you wouldn't eat? Let's not bring anything else up that might get... Vienna sausages is about it. I love Vienna sausages. Is there a thing, if you were close to starvation, that you guys hate to eat that you wouldn't eat? Let's not bring anything else up that might get me. Vienna sausages is about it. I love Vienna sausages. But I feel like I'll never be in a situation where it's Vienna sausages or die.

You know what I'm saying? That might be a new shirt. Vienna sausages or die. I don't really like sweet potatoes. They're fucking disgusting, dude. Disgusting. Can I ask you how you've had them prepared? No.

They're disgusting. Have you ever had mashed sweet potatoes with cinnamon, brown sugar, and marshmallows on top? It's too sweet for me. It's too sweet for me. It's too sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you don't fuck with the pie either? No.

I don't really. Yeah, the pie. I don't really like the pie that much. I can do sweet potato me. It's too sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you don't fuck with the pie either. No. I don't really. Yeah, the pie. I don't really like the pie that much. I can do sweet potato pie. You know who fucks with sweet potato pie? Domino. Remember that? The old rapper Domino.

I like ice cream. No, I know Domino. We make a casino about your home. Yeah, I know Domino. What? Anyway, yeah. I don't really like Thanksgiving food that much. I understand.

That's a great one. Yeah. In the interest of keeping it moving and enraging one of my oldest friends. Well, not oldest, but definitely best. And nearly,

you know, we're getting there. How long have we been friends? Like, uh... Me and you? Eight years? Nine years? We're coming up on 10.

This is gonna be geared towards me. It was 07, 09. So it was April of 2010 we met. Wow. Coming up on 10 years. Tupac Shakur. I have nothing to add to this at all, but I really feel like.

Yeah, I think Tupac's overrated. Man. Good. This is one of those ones that I feel like I could pull out a cigarette and smoke it over. You guys thought my radio head pick was going to get people. See how quiet it got? I just can't believe it. I can't believe it.

Here's what I say to that, and this comes up for me a lot in my life. You mean as an actor, right? No. No, fuck the rapper. He's an amazing actor. He would have done so many good things as an actor. Here's what I'm saying, bro. I don't listen to Tupac when I'm by myself very often.

I almost never listen to Tupac when I'm by myself very often I almost never listen to Tupac he has he does have a lot of bangers that I didn't give credit for at the time he's got by myself bro I just I don't there's some really good there's like 10 20 you see what you're doing you're second guessing yourself here that means

that he's not he's the in my opinion except for those goat conversations and I don't think he's not... In my opinion... He's in those GOAT conversations. And I don't think he's one of the five best rappers. I think he's the absolute best. And I don't know if I could name one Tupac song. Nobody thought you could.

But that's what I said. I could name if you said top five rappers, I could pick... I take more songs off of those two Biggie albums than I do off of those four Tupac albums. It's not fair. You can't fault Tupac for- He put out two more albums.

What are you talking about? You can't fault him for putting out too much shit. He learned. But if you just focus on the good songs, there's so many. But I'm saying numbers wise. Even numbers wise. I fuck with almost every song on life after death the argument is not

if Tupac is better than Biggie the argument is Tupac overrated so we can't pit him against someone else and the argument is not fair that's not what we're talking about because that's that's a matter of opinion

for sure all this is you have to pit him against other people because I think one of my cardinal rules because you would be fine with that if you were saying

you were better than somebody since I was a kid though I don't like it when adults join gangs I think it's one of the cardinal rules. Because you would be fine with that if you were saying you were better than somebody. Since I was a kid, though, I don't like it when adults join gangs. I think it's one of the lamest things to do. I'm not saying, I'm not speaking on his personal life, because he had a bunch of questions. Yeah, you heard me, Chris Brown. No, he told me to call him Crip Brown. He does listen. I would never do that.

He's a blood, right? I think he was claiming blood, too, but it doesn't matter. But boys, if you're like, gangs are so bad to me. Bro, gangs are bad, and if you start doing that as an adult, and then it's hard. How old was he when he joined the gang? He's a grown-ass man. Fuck that. He's not from California.

Where is he from? New York. He was born in New York, and then he grew up in New York and he went to high school in Baltimore with Jada Pinkett and then he hung out in the Bay so he's over in Marin City

not in Oakland but you do like Tupac I like some Tupac songs I like Tupac also that's not what I'm saying but I think he's overrated all eyes on me you see how much grief I got

for making the same exact argument I think he was gorgeous and murdered and he gets a lot of credit for that I think he was see how much grief I got for making the same exact argument I think he was gorgeous and murdered and he gets a lot of credit for that I think he had big ideas and I think he was a good talker I just think there's some shit he did where I'm like I think that shit

I think that shit I think the fact that he shot himself kind of fucks me up we're talking musically right the whole thing the whole mystique the myth, the man, the music. The older I get, the more I look back and I'm like,

he didn't seem like the best. He wasn't the best dude. He did some questionable things. He didn't even get close to peaking. I think Biggie maybe, we don't know how Biggie would have aged. We don't know if Biggie was going to Jay-Z. They both would have aged phenomenally, I think. Yeah, I do.

I think they both would have been great. I think Tupac would have went hard into acting, and he would have been great at it. But I think he would have kept rapping. Yeah, of course he would have, because he was an amazing rapper. I mean, life goes on. There's so many Tupac songs that I love. Dude, all of All Eyes on Me, except for What's Your Phone Number, they're all bangers. All of them.

What's Your Phone Number is one of the worst songs I've ever heard. That's how I feel about What's Your Baby if you really wanna fuck with me I'm ready. That's how I feel about

Life After Death. Maybe let me give you a call. That's how I feel about Life After Death. And like even I started to like Playa Heda in my old age. Like when I was younger

I was like Playa Heda this song's stupid and then I wasn't doing it and I was like damn. Tupac never I don't know. I like Tupac.

I love Tupac. I love Tupac. I just can't add too much to this. I think he's a little overrated. He's a little overrated. And that's, I mean, he's a lot overrated. That's the,

but that's also just because Biggie gave me a lot more shit that I ate off of. Yeah. Like Biggie's been more inspiring to me throughout a lifetime than Tupac.

Now I'm sticking to my guns. I'm never fat, black, ugly as ever. However, I'm sticking to my guns. Barthrob never, fat, black, ugly as ever. However, I stayed Gucci down to the socks. That informed... I heard that when I was nine years old, it informed the rest of my life. I didn't have Ready to Die until I was probably 19.

Oh, really? And I had all eyes on... I had Tupacalypse now. I had Me Against the World, the other one, Strictly For My. And I had all those when I was like fucking 12, you know? So I just didn't, it just didn't, Biggie didn't hit me in the rights, but again, this isn't a debate about those two.

But that's why Tupac was like my, the first CD I ever got was Yo MTV Raps Volume 4, and I Get Around was on there, and that was my favorite song for years, was that, I don't know, I just, I love Tupac. Also, Hit Em Up makes me mad because it's like. He was. It was the most. It was the most. Hit Em Up makes me mad because it was the most.

I don't like it either. It was the most industry way to do it. Yeah. It was like Tupac was the first. You know what? But I am going to say it Tupac was like hit him up

does seem like a very studio gangster thing to do he is just like like oh word you're gonna a studio gangster someone who acts like it

but they're not actually it see this is already why I feel like this is not the platform for me to be having this conversation. He was a bit of that, but also he- And I like Biggie because Biggie was the anti that. Right.

Biggie was really about like, yo, let's just get money and all be on and be like good. Tupac tried so hard to live that life. Tupac beat somebody up in a casino. Biggie was like, I'm rich now, man. I'm not fucking with that. I'm not doing that. Yeah, yeah. And I appreciate that sentiment.

And then as a human, Tupac was bad in very real world ways. He was. But he was movie bad in fake ways. You know what I mean? Tupac also had a much rougher upbringing. Yeah. As far as nomadic, bounce from place to place, he was born in prison.

Like, Tupac had a very difficult growing up, you know what I mean, in a way that would make you understand why he would have complicated views towards women and things like that. Whose biopic was better? Oh, Biggie's. They were both pretty fucking bad. Biggie's was way better, though. All Eyes on Me was kind of bad yeah except for so except for that

scene where he gets out of jail i saw that scene when tupac gets out of jail and all eyes on me i saw that scene and i watched it back like four times when i saw it i was like whoa because he gets out should gives him all the money money and I just want to wear fancy shirts too no neither one of those movies were very good anyway I just wanted to bring Tupac back up and put it on the table Shane is that your third pick? I feel weird for even

speaking like that it's like who do I like more mom or dad now mom's pissed let's hear it Shane I'm picking art museums no I'm not Dad, now mom's pissed. Let's hear it, Shane. I'm picking art museums. No, I'm not. You're fighting.

You're fighting. You're losing battle. No way, dude. No. But go ahead. No, but go ahead. It's the overrated thing again. Okay.

Well, yeah, that's even again with this. I went to the Getty a few months ago, dude, and it was like one of the better... Some of them are amazing, but sometimes I'll go to the Guggenheim in New York. My friend Louisa works there. Ian, put your shirt on, dude. I feel like I'm getting nothing out of anybody on this. Why do you talk... You on your phone, you're on your phone. You're going to college radiohead and art museum, dude.

That's a nice fucking... That's a nice afternoon if you're like... That's the park blocks in Portland. It really is. You just hate the park blocks. You just hate the park blocks. What are you going to take next, Pioneers? Free water fountains?

How can the homeless be overrated? You'll find a way, you fucking asshole. All right, talk more about how you went to the Guggenheim and didn't get it. Damn. Oh, God. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Jesus Christ. It's just when I go and I enjoy it, I really enjoy it.

But sometimes art is hard to understand. It's just, when I go and I enjoy it, I really enjoy it. But sometimes, art is hard to understand. Like, it's so fucking boring sometimes. I don't care. I went to this thing at the Guggenheim, and you're like, oh, it's the Guggenheim. It's this world-famous museum. Right. It's going to be amazing.

And it was just a guy's filing system, essentially. That sucks. That kind of shit. And you know what I do? I went to the- I don't know if overrated's the right thing, but sometimes they just like- No, overrated's fine. That artist is overrated. Those things are just fucking bummers.

I'm going to see this thing. I should be- This is supposed to be the best version of a thing I'm not hyper-familiar with. You're going to the record store, and you're mad that there's a country section. You know what I mean? I'm not mad there's a country section. I will say I would never say it's overrated, because I went to the Getty a few months ago and like I would do that. You know what I would rather?

I would rather there were no captions. I would rather if I would rather just go to an art museum and there's nothing on the wall explaining about any of it. And I just watch it. You know what? And take it in. But I don't. I do like it. And then if they gave you a pamphlet at the end

where they'd be like, number one, this is what it is. How did you interpret it? Oh, that was the Warhol or whatever. But I will not say... I do like going to the art museum a lot. It's just, I find it to be exhausting sometimes. Art museum people are

exhausting. In the Guggenheim, there's a solid gold toilet. it's like an art piece and to me it's almost more they donated it to the White House did they yeah they gave it to Donald Trump and it's like it's kind of like just a well planned joke I don't know how

artistic that is I mean I think a lot of modern art there is modern art that builds on it is doing nothing but commenting on previous iterations of art. And that can be a little tedious if you're not like a big art person. But then there's also art that comments on the human existence. And like, you know, it's like you got to think of an art, in my opinion. Art museums, not art.

Art museums, not art. Art museums. You have to think about art museums, like I said, as a record store, like a bookstore. You're going to walk past aisle after aisle of things that may not speak to you directly. And then you see that one piece that will hit you right in the stomach. Sure. You know, you have to like, if there was the art museum of Shane Torres, it would only have stuff you like in it, you know? Because you're the best.

Yeah. I'm just picturing the art museum of Shane Torres and it's all of us walking through it like, oh my God because you're the best yeah i'm just picturing the art museum of shane torres and it's all of us walking through it like oh my god everything's the best having said that your feet do hurt when you leave and i love art museums but like it's a lot of it's a lot of standing there in uncomfy shoes i don't have any culture and i'm past the point where i try to act like i you know if i look at something i'm like that's tight i don't need to say anything else about it yeah that's why i like an art museum now because i'm i've shed that feeling of like i don't feel obligated to to dive into what i think about it it's like oh it looks dank i mean you can go you

could like also very expensive sometimes and i think i think they gotta be but national museums have a thing where there is a thing where you could like i feel like it's if they're federal museums legally there's like a pay they're all free like if they're federal museums, legally there's a pay what you get. In DC they're all free, I think. Or if you go in and you can be like, I have $5, they're supposed to take that. You can go to the Louvre and you can see a Caravaggio painting.

Oh, the Louvre. It's the Louvre. You can see whole cultures attempt to communicate what they were about. Or you can see whole cultures attempt to communicate what they were about. Or you can see an 8th century person try to interpret Christ or whatever. I don't know. To me, that's interesting. But I do understand why some people might think they're overrated.

I think the barrier of entry is high, though. I do think that. I think art has a high barrier of entry where I do believe that most of it is made though yeah i do think that i think heart art has a high barrier of entry where like i do believe that most of it is made for the people and the curators of that do not i think i think it can be do not facilitate that yeah and i think that that is true for sure and i think that is overrated for sure that's how i believe so art museums bro been in some good ass museums that was a tricky i'm saying i haven't i've only been to like five That's how I believe. Art museums, bro. Been to some good-ass museums.

That was a tricky one. I'm saying, I've only been to like five or six. I've never left bummed. I was excited. I've been underwhelmed at them. You've been to the Guggenheim, yeah? Yeah. In New York? We're doing this right now?

I was just asking. Oh, boy. I was just asking. No, you missed it. No, you know what I said. It's my turn. It's my turn. Yeah, let's go to you.

I went to LACMA, and there was a Pablo Picasso and Diego Rivera exhibit, and it was so beautiful. Sure. These two people who lived, you know, like, in Mexico and Spain

and were communicating with each other through art. It was fucking dank. Los Angeles County Museum of Art? That's right. Yeah.

We got some good ones here in L.A., man. It's no. That's right. We got some good ones here in LA. It's no Guggenheim. We've got the Lack by the Broad.

The fucking the Getty is amazing. The Getty's. The Hammer Museum which is free. So many pants.

You'd be surprised. Arm on Hammer. His great grandpa. That's right. Also all the gold plaques. Too legit to

quit. Can't touch this, all on the wall. MC is MC Hammer. MC, usher, hammer. If you want some art museum recommendations, hit me up at Ian Carmel on Twitter. And if you want to roll around in swine filth,

in uncultured oaf, a Luddite, happy just to receive his rotten bread at the end of the day. Maybe this is why I don't like your art. The culture around it

is poisoning the goddamn well. I like pretty colors and shit. Hoping that a life of dragging a rusted rake through the mud, producing one onion a season, will land you in God's good graces. If you're happy enough with that, it's at Shane Torres. But Sir Up Mountain on Instagram.

Thimble full of glory on Snapchat, guys. No, I know what you mean. David, it's time for your third pick. We should keep it going. No, I get it anyway. You got it. I get you, bro, but I'm the opposite. No, you're right.

Yeah, it's just... No, no, I feel you. I feel you. I feel you. My middle school... Oh, shit. I got a text and I read it wrong. My third pick is middle school.

I hated middle school. I didn't know is middle school. I hated middle school. I didn't know people liked it. I loved middle school. No, I didn't even learn anything. No. I was thinking about it realistically. I was reading at an eighth grade level when I got to, or I was reading at a high school level when I got to middle school.

Yeah. Social studies doesn't teach you anything new from sixth grade. They don't. That's just how public school works. Not at all. Fucking, I didn't really learn any good math in middle school because I'm not that good. Football didn't really get

jacked up until high school. Same with wrestling. I didn't get anything out of it. It was like purgatory. It was school purgatory. It was just where they're holding you because you can't be where the fully sexually mature adults are it's middle school is terrible everyone in middle school always said to me that

it didn't matter they're like this doesn't matter until you get to high school so i had a blast in middle school it doesn't though you liked it it doesn't it's nonsense middle school is nothing i don't even i don't there aren't life lessons that i learned there i was and that's how that's when you for your body starts going through changes at first. It's weird as shit. They're just hiding you out during puberty. You know how women had to go away during their menstruation? That's what they're doing with all of us with middle school.

It's whack. Middle school is terrible. You don't learn anything. I did my bar mitzvah in seventh grade. And then in eighth grade, and then in 8th grade I was addicted to Ultima Online, this online video game. I did so poorly in middle school that they tried to put

me in this program called Catapult freshman year of high school. Which was for dumb kids who sucked at school. And sophomore year I was in AP classes. Because it fucking didn't matter at all

I almost failed eighth grade I had to go to summer school eighth going into ninth grade where I learned a quarter of my tricks

to be completely honest with you shout out to summer school for being the coolest school I ever went to it was very much

like I had to go to jail to become a criminal it was fucking it was Planet of the Apes I was in there bro I learned to go to jail to become a criminal. It was fucking, it was Planet of the Apes. I was in there, bro. I learned fucking how to sell weed in middle, or in fucking summer school. There was a, I'm not even going to go into it.

Summer school was dope. Yeah, middle school is just trash. I didn't learn anything. It's just they're keeping you on ice because you can't go with the older kids. There's nothing, you don't learn a lot. Like, it's just, it's trash. There's also a thing like, because you go to go with the older kids. There's nothing. You don't learn a lot. Like, it's just, it's trash. There's also a thing, like, because you go to your first new school. So in elementary school, most people, I think,

have been to the same elementary school their whole life. So you have the same friends. And then you go to seventh grade, and it's like a new. And there's new girls and stuff. New girls, and the other new kids suck, and you suck. Everyone's kind of shitty. Who are the cool kids out of the cool shitty. The whole point of middle school is- Who are the cool kids out of the cool kids?

The whole point of middle school is to learn how to socialize. You were cool in middle school? Sean just double-pointed it. Yeah, Sean got laid in middle school because he's a fucking chav. Do you guys know what that means, chav? Well, no. I was hanging out with my Irish cousin. It means civil housing and violence.

Yeah. It's an acronym. Okay, yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, people told me that before. Fucking chavs. Sean got laid in middle school because he was a chav. I've been involved in all of those things in the acronym. I feel like I can say it.

We really are chavs. We thought it was a joke. But come to find out. The more I think about it, I'm like, man, I've done some chav shit. Like some hella chav shit back in the day. But the point is, yeah, I think middle school is just like, you don't learn anything. It's a hideaway. It's a hideaway while your body's weird.

Elementary school is whimsical and enchanted and fun. Yep. It's exciting. And high school is like, there's some stakes or whatever. It's promise. Yeah, yeah. You're independent a little bit. Junior high, they're just hiding you out

you just gotta go they're like oh your balls started changing go sit on ice till you figure that out i missed the bus so that's also when you learn you're not going to be doing certain things as middle school like in your life yeah like you're like in sixth grade you're kind of like well i'm as good as most of the kids and then like and then that you really separate the that's the only thing i don't like about it. And then you really separate the weak. That's the only thing I don't like about it because of the way people's bodies mature. I do think that kids should play sports. Not football maybe, but I think all kids should be on part of a team. Yeah.

And so many kids drop out during middle school because the difference between bodies is so huge. The kids are just like, I'm just not a football kid. And they grew eight inches they grew eight inches the summer going into ninth grade but they already been not playing basketball so now they go off and be nerds when they could have learned more from being on a team like i just think i just think there's so much bad that happens in middle school and not a ton of good i think it's i i'm not i did do a lot of bad in middle school it's mostly bad it's but it wasn't real bad it was just i remember thinking i know on you, because I know that's when you lost your

but like in middle school when you heard people were fucking, it was kind of scary and gross. And then in high school, it was like, oh, tight. Dude, there was this girl... I know the girl came back to eighth grade pregnant from church camp. Dude, this girl came to my... I remember when I was in eighth grade, this girl came to school and she brought her baby. She had her baby in a stroller. Damn.

And everybody was like, oh, this is so cool. And I was like, fuck this. I also remember in eighth grade. I remember thinking this. I also remember in eighth grade buying weed from this kid named Lonnie who was riding a bike. And I bought weed from him in the eighth grade, which is already whack. And then this girl was like, Lonnie, you're supposed to be in the 12th grade or some shit like that. And he was like, fuck you, bitch, and he rode his bike off.

But it was just so bad. Junior high school, middle school, so bad. That was also the first time I ever saw a very violent school fight. Yeah. Yeah, like somebody got really fucking hurt. Eric Lemons got his head kicked into the fucking locker. First time I ever saw a kid get kicked in the head was junior high school.

Same as the same. It was all the stakes were too high. It's just like you get people people got sorted into groups

that they couldn't sort themselves out of in junior high school and it's not fair. Junior high should just be outdoor school. Yeah. That's it. Send the kids to the Junior high should just be outdoor school. Yeah. That's it.

Send the kids to the woods. It should all be PE. Yeah. I was stoked. Yeah, fuck middle school. Yeah, fuck middle school. I'm glad you had a good time. It's funny, because all the shitty things you were saying,

I'm like, ah, it's kind of tight. I learned lessons in middle school. Anyway. Not me, man. I just learned to get out of it. Listen to a lot of- Middle school also, I think, middle school is also where I was like,

I don't like school. Okay. Because of- Uh-huh. And I remember specifically, it's because I didn't- That's a good point. Social studies was always

my favorite thing in school. Okay. And I remember all throughout middle school, I didn't learn anything, or we learned the same thing over and over again. That's a good point.

And that was, middle school taught me to hate school. Okay. Like middle school, as a kid, I was like, this is great, we're learning shit. And in as a kid, I was like, this is great.

We're learning shit. And junior high school is like, fuck this. They don't care. Middle school was the first time I had bad teachers. Okay. Because elementary schools are overwhelmingly pretty good teachers. They're trying to put the blocks in place. Yeah. Junior high was the first time I ever had teachers who were like, fuck it.

I'm over this. I think you're lame. We had science teachers who were just like, do not. I can't fucking. Shout out to Mr. Lyle. Dog. fuck it, I'm over this, I think you're lame. We had science teachers who were just like, not into it. Shout out to Mr. Lyle, who straight up let us fight in his classroom. Sacagawea Junior High School. Like, fuck that shit.

We had teachers where it was just like, they were just gone one day. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Where's Mr. Van Bokken? Not here. I'll tell you where he's not. Teaching the class for 40 minutes. We had a substitute for like three months. You're not supposed to have a substitute for that long.

Me and this girl, Alana, smoked weed outside of the classroom. Like, bro, middle school is like, middle school is where teachers start giving up. Middle school made me hate school. And the teachers probably hated it too. That's a really good point. It turned me off. It was like, middle school is when I knew the institution was bad. Where it's like, oh, adults don't really have our best interest in mind.

I learned that in middle school. That's when bullying, I remember seeing it become very effective. Yeah. Outside of your neighborhood kind of shit. Yeah. You're a fucking, and say the meanest shit you would ever. That's also when you had to learn from bullies. It's also middle school is when you had to learn to knuckle up.

Yeah. You had to learn how, you had to learn what you were going to do to make them not fuck with you. This is a weird block. And if you were that person, if you were that person, good on you. But if you didn't learn it in middle school, it fucked you up for forever. Yeah. It fucked you up for forever because they threw us into those pack of wolves. Fuck middle school forever.

Wow. Overrated. And you're not wrong about any of that. No, I'm totally right. I think about my picks. Sean Jordan, what are your third and fourth picks? I don't think about my picks.

Where do you got to go? Third pick, Kevin Smith movies. Tricky. Tricky. Come on, kid. Why are you doing that to me? They're overrated.

I just watched Jason Amey the other day. They're overrated. Jason Amey is good. The only one I'm going to hold on to is Mallrats. What about the first Clerks? Clerks is good.

I've always thought so. I was scared to admit it when I was younger. I hate the dialogue. I always have. It just, I've never. The dialogue can be off-putting. The only thing. Now it does not fit.

Sean is wearing a pair of black shoes, no less. The only thing about Kevin Smith movies that always drew me in was Jason Lee. Cause he was a professional skateboarder. And that's for as long as I can remember, we were always like, we got to see the new Kevin Smith joint. Cause Jason Lee's in it. But I never, ever really liked them.

Kevin Smith joints, chasing Amy's out. We got to go see the new Kevin Smith joint. No, I never. I mean, I knew it was going to be a tricky one. But if you dive in. I feel like they're rated where they are. They're easy to watch.

They're fine. But they're easy to watch. But they're just. I feel like people. Maybe it's going away. But for a while, Kevin Smith was held in such high esteem. Dogma's a fun one. Well, we grew up

we grew up like we're both kind of like white trash upbringings and our friends would love Kevin Smith movies Oh man every single person Oh you thought

Elizabeth was brown trash? That's I remember watching Clerks the first time and being like when's it gonna turn color? That's how I felt watching Friends the first time I'm being like, when's it going to turn color? Well, dude. I'm literally friends. Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen. Well, now we got to be done. Yeah, right. Yeah, wrap it up. No, I just, I've always deep down thought that. The first time I saw Clerks even, I remember like laughing with my friends like, I have to like this. Everybody likes this.

Always thought it was overrated. Always have thought like this. Everybody likes this. Always thought it was overrated. Always have thought. That's fair. I get it. I wouldn't disagree with you on it. But I do like them. But I think they're just kind of right where they are. See, I don't even know if I'm saying I don't like them.

I like them because it was the first thing that I – Kevin Smith movies are the first thing – one of the first things I got hip to that wasn't straight up mainstream. It's the same way we're like – It's a good introduction point. Yeah. It's the same way when like the first time you listen to the misfits you're like oh this is another rock and roll you know what i mean yeah like and i think it's a lot of people's jump off but i think you're right i'm with you i yeah i've just always felt that way in in in later in life when i could finally say that like well no i don't i'm not thrilled about

chasing amy there's Just not thrilled about it. That's my favorite one. That's my favorite one. Mall rats is my favorite one. And that's, if we're really being honest, that's the only one I don't think is overrated. It's right. I like it.

But the other ones, I've never... It's because it takes place in a mall. I do like malls. Like Red... So I'm on Rotten Tomatoes right now. Sure. Red State got a 60%. Zack and Miri Make a Porno got a 65%.

Oh, you're saying they're not overrated. I don't know. What's the highest rated one? That's what I'm looking at. When I was thinking about this, I was thinking about those older ones. Clerks 2 got a 63%. I'm still going. I like Clerks 2 got a 63%. Yeah. I'm still going. I like Clerks 2.

Jersey Girl got a 42%. I didn't. People really hated that. That movie wasn't that good, though, either. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, 53%. That movie's horrible when you watch it. Dogma, 67%. Bro, don't.

Whoa, I almost said. Don't do that to them. Chasing Amy got an 88%. Chasing Amy's. It's a pretty good film. Clerks is an 88 as well. All right, maybe it's overrated. Well, again, again, this is why this is fun.

And it gave me Joey Lauren Adams. I had a crush on her. You need to watch 15 on Nickelodeon, my friend. That's where Joey Lauren Adams... I think it was a Canadian, much like gave us Aubrey Graham. Candidate is. Ah, DeRake. DeRake. DeRRake DeAndre Jordan

is it my turn no oh I'm sorry I still gotta make my other my fourth pick that's gonna piss you guys off the 2937th

most popular movie on uh IMDb alright anyway yeah we'll never know I'm not gonna sort it out there's no metrics

I'm gonna find what's your fourth pick uh it's gonna be another we gotta put a bow on this it's gonna be another All right, anyway. Yeah, we'll never know. I'm not going to sort it out. There's no metrics I'm going to find. What's your fourth pick? It's going to be another. We've got to put a bow on this. It's going to be another troublemaker. It's going to be sushi. No, you're fucking.

You're just wrong. That's a personal issue. Well, that's not overrated in society. Yeah, it's not. I think it is. You're completely incorrect. I think it is. I think it's very overrated. It's because your taste buds are bad.

Well, what are we going off here? It's our personal- I guess you're a cowardice. Yeah. That's what we're going off of. I don't even- I can't even entertain this, really. It's great.

To be completely honest with you. It's so good. I love sushi, and I have for you. I don't really- I didn't think it was going to be well-received. No, it won't be. I didn't think it was going to be this- I didn't think it was going to be like this.

I don't think it's going to be even well-received online, to be completely honest with you. I don't think it was going to be well-received. I didn't think it was going to be this. I didn't think it was going to be like this. I don't think it's going to be even well-received online to be completely honest with you. I don't either, but... We've reached the point where sushi is... You're an idiot. National. Yeah. Pokey. You know how many pokey places there are?

That's sushi. Yeah. It's disgusting. Overrated. I got to not say disgusting. I don't think... Overrated. How many times have you eaten sushi?

Enough. I don't know. A hundred or something you think you've 100 there's no way you've eaten it under a metal

there's no way you've eaten 100 pieces of sushi I think you've had it 20 times you eat 4 things and 3 of them are chicken fingers

there's no fucking way you have had sushi 100 times I think if I got you a crispy crab roll or the like I don't even

I don't I don't fuck with this cause I even know I don't know I don't fuck with this because I even know, I don't, yeah, because there's sauces that you would love. I just,

I think, like a thick cut of salmon. And I have to shy away from how gross I think it is because I think it's, again, overrated, not gross.

Although I do think it's gross. I just, yeah, I apologize for bringing such a deafening silence over the room. It's delicious. A lot of it is full of omega-3 fatty acids, so it's good for you. Dog, I don't even... A lot of people are looking at their phones right now

and seeing if they lost connection to me. I don't even really want to back and forth with you on it. This is a personal vendetta. I can pick whatever the fuck I want to pick. No, you can. I certainly can. The internet can speak to me about it if they feel like it. I pick Radiohead. Well, I pick Thanksgiving food and Tupac, so I'm not going to win this week.

It is very up in the air. Sushi. Well, it's just shit that I think is overrated. I will go to bat saying sushi might be more controversial than Tupac. I love sushi, man. Sushi is one of my three favorite foods, I think. The only people I know who don't like, here's my point for sushi. The only people I know who don't like sushi are people who hardcore don't like seafood.

Yeah. Everybody I know who even kind of likes fish fucks with sushi. And you hate seafood because your mom told you you hate seafood. And that's how you feel now. And you're 36. And I understand. About to be 37. I understand.

Damn. But I'm like, you are. You have to understand. Even within your peer group, you are the minority in hating sushi. You really are too old to be not liking things the way you don't like them. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Listen.

Listen. You are way too old. Hold on. I have a logical explanation. All right. Everybody shut the fuck up. We look at the world the You are way too old. I have a logical explanation. Everybody shut the fuck up. We look at the world the way that Sean Jordan views it, and we look at his friends, who he loves the most, who he cares about, who are his family.

They're sitting in this room, by the way. The majority of them also like sushi. You are in the minority for not liking sushi. I don't care. I think sushi is overrated. Me, personally, I think sushi is overrated. Me, personally, I think sushi is one of the fun foods. There's no movies

about chicken fingers coming out. Jiro dreams of chicken fingers. Yeah. Jiro dreams of Jiro got that name when he fell off a bike. Formal single serves with some Kraft American

melted on top. He looks like he had a hardcore Jiro. Fucking prick. Jiro dreams of pork rinds dipped in ranch. Ooh, I need that. I mean, that's fine. A little soup ball sushi?

That is. Who by Jiro you meant, David? It's good. I just don't think it's overrated. It is not overrated. I think it's overrated. I also think that one day we're going to get you. I'm going to trick you into some Sushi Boy.

I'm going to get you one of those deep fried rolls. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to get you one of those deep fried rolls and tell you it's like chicken. And you're going to be like, oh, shit. I'm going to be like, that's three kinds of squid, you motherfucker. And I'll be like, well, this chicken's a little overrated. You're right.

Alright. I've had sushi at the broke-ass places. I've had very expensive sushi. It's all good. The only bad sushi I've ever had is Safeway. Yeah. And I knew what I was doing. What about like airplane sushi? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew what it was. But other than Safeway, I've never had sushi I didn't know. You're not gonna get sushi

at an airplane. You might get it at an airport. Can't do that. I than Safeway, I've never had sushi I didn't know. You're not going to get sushi on an airplane. You might get it at an airport. Can't do that. I don't know. I've never. I've been on a place that you would. Why is an airplane the place you think is a good place to try any type of food? No, no, no. That was just kind of a tangent.

I just wondered if you could get it on an airplane. Oh, yeah. That's fair. That's fair. That's an odd one. But yeah, sushi. Sushi, yeah. I think sushi's overrated, just so everybody heard me say it very clearly.

Speak with your chest. All right. My turn? David? Yeah. I referenced it in the last riff, but the TV show Friends. Yeah, sure. I'm with you on that.

Yeah. It's dumb. Every time I watch it, I'm like, no, it's true. And I listen, and all you guys are going to come at me and say whatever. Hey, I'm a humorist. I get paid for my sense of humor.

I have a fairly evolved understanding of what funny is in America. Friends is whack. If it was, a show is whack. You think just across,

you don't like anything about it? Nah, man. Okay, I'm just asking. If it was a show about, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I think there are shows, I think it's a way overrated show, but there's times it made me laugh. I think there are shows that had the same premise that were better that didn't get the shine. I think Living Single is the exact same show as Friends, and I think it's 20 times better. Friends was bad. Friends was whack.

David Schwimmer wasn't funny. If you have to write a monkey into your shit, then your shit wasn't funny. Right? Yes. If you got to write a monkey into your shit, your shit was never that funny. It's like, what do we do? I guess put a monkey in it. Oh, more so.

I find Matt Long to be smarmy in a way that I don't enjoy. Yeah. None of those people are funny. Like, Ross was the comic relief? I know. That coward? Yeah, none of those people are funny. Like, Ross? Ross was the comic relief? I know. That coward? Ugh, get the fuck out of here. I do not care for Schwimmer.

Friends is a stupid television show. Yeah. And if you like watching Friends, you don't like it, you like nostalgia. Two of the three dudes suck. The girls are cool. They tried to play...

The girls are cool. Monica and Phoebe are cool. Yeah, Monica and Phoebe. Jennifer Aniston's kind of like, fucking don't marry him because he's a nerd. Shut up. Like, I just... Friends is whack. Friends is super whack. It missed me and I went back to try to watch it and it didn't...

I have to listen to like Sean O'Connor and James Corden back in the day when Late Show first started. Just go on and on about what a comedic piece of genius that show was. And the whole time I'd just be like- That show's stupid. It's a dumb ass show.

I don't think it's super overrated. Seinfeld is so much better than it. I don't understand how there was ever a competition. No. I don't understand how you could watch Seinfeld and then watch- It's like when I seen La La Land and then I seen Moonlight and I was like, you are comparing these movies? I understand what La La Land, I get it, but that's comparable to Moonlight?

You're a stupid person. You're dumb. Friends sucks. It's for people who can't discern what humor is. This is a very weird tone for this room. I don't know if I've ever felt it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

By the way, I love this episode. Yeah, me too. I love that Shane was on it, and I love that we really got to get it. But, like, bro, seriously, though? And I know our fans are like, I know you're all sweet boys and shit, but, like, Friends is whack, and I think you're corny for liking it. That's what I feel. It's stupid.

It's a stupid TV show. It's a stupid TV show. It's a stupid TV show. I'll give you 20 bucks if you find a minority that isn't T.I. that loves Friends. Because he said it on The True Life. I'm a rap star. I'm just saying, bro, Friends sucks.

It sucks. Were there any minorities on that show ever? They brought in, I think they brought in a black lady at the end Boy Meets World style Joey dated Aisha Tyler for a while The reason I hate Friends is because it's one of those shows where it's like the act outs were funny

It was funny because Joey said Hush hush hush That's why it's funny What did he say? That's what was funny you the it was what it's terribly unfunny it's a show about the 90s it was a downfall it was a show about no it's not bro no it's not even it ended up not even it ended up being a show about the night it was a show about v-neck sweaters yeah man it was like a show that nobody related to and i guess we all wanted to pretend we'd fuck friends dude friends is even as a kid i remember watching that show as a kid because it was in syndication before it was over

i know so we could see it after school and i remember watching that and being like i don't even it is the greatest lie you ever told that you could live in an apartment like that in New York. Yeah. Anybody who's living in a place like that does not have two roommates. And nobody was stressed. None of you were stressed. You live in New York and none of you were stressed. Okay, that fits all the New York people I've ever met in my whole life. I was stressed on Seinfeld all the time.

Yeah, none of you guys yell at anybody or each other. I am not tightly wound at all. That is true. In Seinfeld, they were always fucking furious. Because Stansley was stress personified. Yeah, because that's what New York is like. Friends is like the least realistic show that got popular. I hate Friends.

I hate Friends. I do hate it. So Friends is my pick. Shane Torres. Okay. Well, I guess we'll scratch friends off. Semisonic. Semisonic.

They're about right. This is going to be... Controversial? Leonardo DiCaprio. Whoa. That one's hard for me, dog. I cape for Leo. Nards, dude.

I cape for Leo. I cape for Leo. What about Gilbert Grape? Basketball diaries. He did Gilbert Grape basketball diaries and Gangs of New York. Here's the thing. Are you mad at the Revenant? What? Are you mad at the Revenant?

No, I liked the Revenant. The Revenant was dank. We're on that let me finish tip. All right. Yeah, let me finish. I've seen it get there before. This is a... I also share this with Harrison Ford.

Shane, why are you holding a gun? You have a gun and a knife. All the good movies... Shut your fucking trap. I'm not done. Over there. Go have sex in middle school. I don't know what you do.

Check. And I am intimidated by it still so he got me I feel like all the great movies he is in are great because they were going to be great movies I don't think he's bad I think he's pretty good he made Gilbert Grape bro

what about Gilbert Grape I've never seen it hold on you just had 10 minutes of solid mic time sh hold on! I'm sorry. You just had ten minutes of solid mic time shitting on the... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm fucking up. I am...

You're right. You're still a little hot under the collar from that friend's riff. I just want to fight Matthew Perry. Yeah. You can make that happen. He's probably around a couple miles from here. Yeah, he's just down the street.

Just a stone's throw away. He just pops in with a V-neck with a line across it.. Yeah, he's just down the street. Just a stone's throw away. He just pops in with a V-neck with a line across it. I do think he's good, but I just think the movies he was in were going to be good no matter what. Okay. Because what is he?

He's on IMDb. What about Gangs of New York? That could not have just been... D.J. Lewis is there. Well, let's play this game. Oh, actually, I'm running out of that. I see you doing it. Let's play this game. Let's play this game. I see you doing it. Let's play this game. Let's play this game.

I like how you didn't do this for anybody else. He did it for me. I'm going hard. I just happen to agree with David's picks. Except for Ketchup, but there's no internet about Ketchup that I can pull up. Ketchup on the internet. If you Googled

is K ketchup overrated what do you think would come up? Who else could have played Amsterdam Valen in Gangs of New York? Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin.

At that time? He's too tough. He's too tough looking. 2001. He's too tough looking. He's already got a scar. Nardo got that like he looks a little bit soft.

Joaquin Phoenix could definitely play. You know who Joaquin? Joaquin's got the he's got the cleft palate. He looks You know what's. No, Joaquin Phoenix could definitely play Leonardo DiCaprio. You know who Joaquin? Joaquin's got the cleft palate. You know what's fucked up? I'll say Don Cheadle could have did it. Liam Neeson was his dad.

They would have been, instead of them making fun of him in Irish, they would have just made fun of him being black. I think Don Cheadle could have done it. You could have put Matt Damon in that role at that time. Cheadle's not as good as DiCaprio. Damon, could he have pulled it off? I think he could pull it off. Do you buy Damon in that? at that time. Cheadle's not as good as DiCaprio. Damon, could he have pulled it off? I think he could pull it off. Do you buy Damon in that?

That Boston ass? He's a little like... The Irish guy playing an Irish guy? Yeah. I do buy that. I don't know. I think Nardo's got it. What about Jack in Titanic?

Who else could have played Jack in Titanic? Don't you dare tell me anybody else. Ryan Phillippe couldn't have pulled that off. He's not likable enough. You're crazy. Nonsense. You're crazy. That was not a crazy acting job. pull that out. He's not likable enough. You're crazy. That was not a crazy acting job.

That was not a crazy... Not an acting job. Do me a favor right now. Will you pull up the cast of Dead Poets Society? Give me one second. You think Ethan Hawke could have done it? I don't think... Ethan Hawke is the poor man's Nardo. You're rooting for Nardo to take

Kate away from Billy Zane. William Zane, we call him. I don't know. You're rooting for Nardo to take Kate away from Billy Zane. William Zane, we call him. I don't know if you're rooting, Philippi was like a smarmy like Justin Timberlake. I don't know about Philippi.

Because he was poor though. You would have ruled for anybody there because he was poor. I don't think so. All those guys could play decent poor guys, I think.

Tobey Maguire. No. What? Come on. I don't want you to root for a guy to take away a girl. I don't want you as a root for a guy to take away a girl. I don't want

Tobey Maguire's fucking Adam's apple ass. That was a crazy thing to do. He's not handsome enough. You wouldn't buy that. You'd be like, she's leaving this rich dude

for this fucking This rich, handsome goofy, like, wizard turned a horse into a fucking high school water polo player. And he's shorter than she is. That's why I moved to New York and started going to college.

What about Ashton Kutcher? No, Ashton Kutcher's not good in the factor. Yeah, he didn't have the chops. Who else could have played Jordan Balfour, the Wolf of Wall Street? Who would you have bought? He did. Bradley Cooper, I think, could do it.

Yo, Leo did. Cooper could have done it. Leo bodied. Cooper could have done it. He really... I don't think Cooper could have. Nardo's bigger than Cooper. Cooper's never impressed me like Nardo has.

I've never seen some shit that Cooper did where I was like, I don't know if anybody could have done that. A star is born. And Nardo. Okay. Some shit that came out last week. Did you see it again? Billy and the Departed.

Could Nardo and Matt David have switched roles? Would that still be? No. No. No. They catch that perfect. Hold on. I'm with it. I fuck with Nardo. I'm have switched roles? Would that still be... No. No. No, they catch that perfect. Hold on. I'm with it.

I fuck with Nardo. I'm not... Oh, yeah. Dude, I gotta... He picks his roles carefully. Does a movie every two years. Some of them aren't great, but some of them are really good. They've mostly been good, though.

The Beach is good. I love The Beach. The Beach is good. The Basketball Diaries is good. I love Basketball Diaries. We don't even gotta talk about that. The Beach is overrated. I don't think it holds up.

Maybe that's your next pick. I think it does heavy. I think that movie holds up hard. That movie is really good. There's this one scene, like a video game scene, that isn't that good. I don't know what you're talking about. Sean, why would you talk about the worst scene in that movie? Because it's the one scene that doesn't hold up.

When you're writing for it. That movie holds up hard. There's this one scene that looks like the fucking Californication video. No, man, I love it. You do want him to have had one other. There's got to be one in there. What, bad or good? There's no Nardo movie.

I mean, you've got titanic. I'll say that. There's no movie where you're like, that's a Nardo movie. There isn't. He's a Nardo movie. I mean, he's got titanic... I'll say that. There's no movie where you're like, that's a Nardo movie. There isn't. He's a weird movie star. He doesn't have a Nardo movie. There's no Nardo movie.

Shutter Island, it didn't work. He's a little bit like Jack Nicholson, where his biggest movie happened real early. Yep. That's fair. I think you're completely right. He's kind of doing the same lifestyle as Jan. Also, he's just banging slits.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. I wish I didn't say that. I wish I didn't say that. You did just say that. I gotta go. I gotta go. We're winding down.

I've been watching her look at that monitor. She goes from this to this. Nards. We're winding down. I gotta go pee. I'm saying stuff I didn't think I would say. I'll give you nards. All right.

I'm going rappers back to back. Oh, okay. All right. I'm going rappers back to back. Oh, okay. All right. I almost regret taking Tupac, although I fully stand behind it. No, hey. Just because of how. This has been a fun. This is differing a little bit.

I just, this next. I feel weird. Okay, I'm doing it anyway. This is the first time I. Sorry, sorry. Shout out to Lawrence Dye, one of the writers on our show who pointed this guy out. And I was like, shit, you're right. I have to take Common.

I'm going P. I'm going P. Common has... He wrote The Corner! He's got good songs! Well, okay, I can only name you one actual Common song and it's The Light. The Light is good too! Why is he acting so much? I honestly only

know him as an actor. Yeah. And I mean that like truly. If you played a common song, I would certainly ask who is this. Unless it was about Aces Wild. I'll tell you this. When he raps he sounds just like Common.

You would know him. I do get the impression that he is playing himself in every movie. He's a talk rapper. I just don't like him in any movie I've seen him in. And these new commercials suck. What are we doing here? Smoking aces? No.

I'm saying, what do we got? I like him in the John Wick, the newest John Wick. I mean, he's always playing the guy with a laser sight on a gun. That movie fucking rules. What's Common's he doing? Yeah, like. That movie fucking rules. What's Common doing for it? He's getting fucked up by. I would have rather. Kidding.

Everything Common's been in, I would have much rather had someone else be in it. Everything. Everything. Yeah? All of them. What? I would have just like, oh, could we have gotten a real actor in there? Do we have to let Common fucking do it?

Well, Common is like shoehorning his way into being a real actor. Yeah. Which is wild. I remember when I saw Common in Smoking Aces and I was like- But is he a real actor? He's not a good actor. So this isn't about Common the rapper at all. Common the rapper is fine.

This is about Common the actor. Stop it. No, he's fair. Stop it. No, he's fair. Stop it. It is wild. No, man. It is a thing. And I hate that this is the day that it had to come to.

But he has been writing checks on an account that he has not been able to cash out for a minute. You were in the bathroom. Dave was in the bathroom. But I'll say it. Every time he's been in something, I've been like, couldn't that have been someone else? Couldn't that have been like an actual actor?

Shouldn't have that. And you wonder, it's like, shouldn't it have been? It's just a move where someone's like, yeah, well, we put Common in there. Let's put Common in there. Yeah, all right. Yeah, we'll throw Common in here.

No big deal. I honestly can't think of too much other than smoking aces. He's in smoking aces. He's in fucking, he shows up in the Liam Neeson fucking oh you know what he was good at john wick he was good at the end of uh uh uh what's that movie uh with jake gyllenhaal end of the watch oh is the end of watching talking exigent circumstances that he was pretty good

at the end of that movie but end of what he's an in End of Watch? Yeah. Is he? It doesn't say it on his... No, no, no. What's the cop movie? That's a cop movie. I don't know. That is a cop movie. With Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña? Yeah.

Yeah. He's not in it. That's End of Watch. He's not in that. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm on a time to be right now. He's in something called Run All Night.

I'm sure because I'm looking at my tattoo. Run All Night. That's a Liam Neeson one. Yeah. He's in John Wick. Yeah, he is. He's in Suicide Squad. He's in John Wick. Yeah, he is. He's in Suicide Squad. He's in Girl Strip.

There's just nothing. I don't know, man. He annoys me in the commercials he's in. Yeah. Does he do the What's In Your Wallet? You know, he does like some, it's like for like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what it's for.

I don't think. I just know it's common in like a turtleneck. And I don't want to like. You know when you like have those moments when you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, you look good today. Yeah. I don't think he's ever not done that. No. Every morning.

Like that's how common feels. He's mad beautiful. He is beautiful. So I guess that's why they put him in the song. He wrote, I used to love her and the bitch in you. So I really can't. It's really hard. Yeah.

He's got some good songs. Maybe I should have taken either Tupac or Common. I didn't want to and the bitch in you. So I really can't. It's really hard. Yeah, he's got some good songs. Maybe I should have taken either Tupac or Common. I didn't want to have my pick. I've been in the game enough to know that, like, get your money, man. I know. Yeah. I'm not begrudging it. We're not eating on something.

I don't fault anybody for trying to get paid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just find them overrated. I understand. And then my last pick, I am going to take cocaine. Oh, that might be the clincher. That shit is. It sure is a clincher.

Getting it is never as good as doing it ever once. It's hard to get. That's the fun part. Getting it is the only fun part. Right, you're like, oh, we got it. It's hard to get. That's the fun part. Getting it is the only fun part. Right, you're like, oh, we got it. It's hard to get. My God, man. Taking it only just makes you want more of it.

It makes your heart beat all fast. You have stupid ideas. You think they're good. Expensive. You get sweaty. Your jaw goes back and forth like a typewriter in a cartoon. Sometimes it's fun to smoke a bunch of cigarettes, though, and tell people about your life. There's nowhere to do it that you don't feel like you're not doing it.

There's nowhere where you feel like, well, everyone's doing it right here. It feels like you're snorting like. Well, you guys have never lived in San Francisco, so I understand. Or Atlanta. You've never, yeah. You've never come out of a bathroom and had a young trans queen say, you got a felony on your face, baby. I went to the Claremont in Atlanta. Do you know that strip club?

Oh, my. Yeah, that's the- I love the Claremont. Yeah, it's an incredible place. That's the one. Yeah, you want to get a 75-year-old back shot? Yeah. I literally saw people just doing Coke on the tables.

They weren't even hiding. Sure. And also a $10 ATM fee in that place. Wow. I like, Coke is funny to me because it's like, I like it when there's a bunch of it because it makes people fun. But like, it is the most overrated drug in the world. Like when I hear, when people are like strung out on coke, I'm like, why? We fight shadow wars for that shit?

That's crazy. Yeah, like weed and alcohol are so much better than cocaine. I would in fact put it in that order. Weed, alcohol, cocaine. They get the job done. And Molly sits on top of that mountain. Not for me, but for you. Coke is, yeah, Coke is-

But I'm phasing Molly out. Sure. I've never done it. Coke is mad corny to me, too. That's why we're phasing it out. It's bad. Because you're going to do it tonight. Are you guys-

I mean, I'm going to smoke some weed tonight. Yeah. Oh, Amy wants to get drinks with us later. Tonight? I'd love to. I can't tonight. Cocaine. That's my pick. That's your final pick?

I understand. I feel you. My mom's going to be so happy at my stance on that. It is corny though. I have thought cocaine was corny for a long time. It is corny, though. I have thought cocaine was corny for a long time. It is corny. Shane, time for your final pick. Let's hear it, dude. Jane's addiction. You know I wouldn't say that.

Baseball. Hell yeah. I like it when I'm there. I don't. I was just in a bar and I ran into Big Hearn at the bar and the Dodgers game was on. Big Hearn. You should call him Steve.

He wants people to think that he's out calling him Big Hearn. You're Steve. I'll call him Big Hearn. Anyways, to my proven point, there were so many douchebags in this fucking bar rooting for the Dodgers tonight. And one guy, the guy sitting at the table next to us and everything was like, see where the throw goes? See where it takes? Everything was a conversation about shit.

It's like watching pseudo-intellect conversations. You don't have to talk me into it. Right? I like minutia, so I enjoy that. But I understand not completely. Going to the ballpark is fun. That is fun.

Yes. I'll tell you a story. I got fired from Hulu. That shithole. Hulu. Fucking black mark on my soul. And I told Ian I got fired, and he's like, hey. What's going to be the black mark?

Shit. Shitty mark on my soul. Yeah, scuff on my soul. And Ian took me to the Dodger game where Meta first pitch. Ron Artest was throwing out the first pitch. And we sat just behind the dugout. Dank seats. Amazing.

Or just behind home plate. I apologize. Amazing, amazing experience. Baseball sucks. It's like. That was. It's just so boring. You can't get a better.

That was the best one. We had good snacks. Hardcore baseball fans are the most irritating kind of fans in sports to me. I will say that baseball is a game that people aren't taught in its entirety over basketball and football, and I think that's a lot of it. Like, I think once – The thing I like about the game is that you don't have to be an athlete to play it. Right. Kind of. Yeah. And once you understand that it's all situational and that's all shit they've trained for, it

is like, there's a higher barrier to entry to baseball, but I don't, it took me a long time to be like, baseball doesn't straight up suck. Just nobody tells you about it. Nobody tells you about it. Yeah, I just think it's overrated. I grew up playing it with, I haven'tmel is still a big baseball fan, but I just don't fuck with it anymore. Basketball is also so sexy.

Seriously. It's the best. Sexy. And it takes way too long. Yeah, it can't go too long. I don't know who... I think I can name every team that's in the playoffs in baseball right now, but I bet you I can name every football team at the end of the season.

Yeah, period. Yeah, like, it's just fucking exhausting. We don't fuck with a lot of other stuff from the 1800s. Yeah. Like, I need to know what kind of left-handed pitcher does well on odd-numbered days in June. Like, that's a statistic. It's just a way to fuck people. That's us moving along.

Baseball bores the shit out of me. No, baseball's overrated. And I hate batting cages. Oh, that's the wrong. Oh yeah, of course you do. Over 30 over here. Did you nick one? I nicked one. Yeah, sure you did. Boy, it's time for your last pick.

Okay. You didn't. I did. No, you didn't. I did right now. You didn't even touch one. Right now, we have five years ago

playing board games. You guys don't know it got cold in here when that happened. I can see my breath. Yeah. My last pick is Super Bowl halftime shows.

Sure. All right. Well. One out of every five is good, I feel like. Yeah, that's probably true. That's a 20% average. Yeah, yeah. I'm 100% with you.

I think like. It's like on the whole, they're pretty bad. Katy Perry's was bad. I don't know if you guys. Oh, she rode that big lion, though. That was tight. I like that. Yeah, that one second.

I don't know if you guys remember when Nelly wore two jerseys at once. Yeah. Or when Justin Timberlake pulled that boob out that everybody freaked out about. Yeah, that was cool, though. And then didn't cop to it and let Janet take the fall.

Still think you're a coward, Justin. What's up? I said it. I do. I think he's a... I saw your face, so I'm just going to say this right now. I think he's a piece of shit for that, but we'll keep it going. We'll keep it going. Prince was tight. Bruce Springsteen was tight.

The Who was bad. And I wanted the Who to be good. Now pull them from your whole life. I'm trying. Black Eyed Peas was bad. I'm not arguing. I'm trying to name the ones that are dope. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to think of Britney Spears and Aerosmith.

I think Prince was amazing. Well, yeah. He has a white cloth in the air like you saw in the silhouette. I thought the JT Janet one was good. Yes. The weirdly Coldplay sucked, but when Bruno Mars and Beyonce came out,

that was cool. Yeah, but it made you mad that they forced Coldplay on us. That's exactly what they did with that. Yeah, they forced Coldplay on us because they don't, whatever. I know where you're going, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. But Super Bowl halftime shows, I think just overwhelmingly my whole life,

it's always been like, I've always liked the commercials better than that. Beyonce's was tight when she headlined it. Yeah, hers was killer. Because she brought Destiny's Child and they got shot out of pneumatic tubes. Oh, yeah. I like anything pneumatic. Take me to the bank, baby. I'll send them transfers.

Lock me in and suck me up, mama. Who do you think would do it this year? Didn't they announce it? No, they announced it. and suck me up, mama? Who do you think would do it this year? Didn't they announce it? No, they announced it. Yeah, they did, right? It's somebody I don't care about again because the NFL is antiquated and doesn't think that black people watch football. Maroon 5. Is that who it is?

Oh, what a fucking dip. That's the funniest thing it could have been. Yeah, yeah. Really? Maroon 5. Yo, the NFL straight up. The NFL is so dumb. They're like, whoa, we got all these black people playing for us, but they don't seem

to like sports entertainment. Yeah. And as someone who wrote for a sports entertainment award show. Yeah, they don't. Whatever, man. The Super Bowl halftime show is whack as fuck. Co-signed. It should be SZA and Kendrick.

That'd be awesome. You know how many people would watch it if it was SZA and Kendrick this year? But they won't because they're stupid. Maroon 5. It's going to be Maroon 5 with a Shania Twain fucking accent. Or maybe Faith Hill's in town. Maroon 5 has like three good songs. I will say that.

How does that even happen? They haven't been relevant musically in a long time, right? Well, it's because Adam Levine is on The Voice, and that's a popular show. Yeah, Adam Levine's fire. Yeah, Maroon 5. They do make popular songs. Cardi B's on one of the tracks, so you know Cardi B's going to come out. And then Cardi B's going to do Bodak Yellow or something know Cardi B's gonna come out. And then Cardi B's gonna do Bodak Yellow or something.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they do now. There's only so many people that can get it done now, too. It's never just one act. It's gonna be Maroon 5 and Cardi B and I bet, like, one other musical group. Or just maybe it's those two.

Sean, time for your final pick. Popular bars. Mm-hmm. Popular, crowded... Well, tell me if it's a popular crowded bar. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Fucking, it just drives me bananas. I just don't want to be around people that much. No. And maybe I'm turning into a fuddy-duddy the older I get, but I just, I don't want anyone around. Take that back. You don't call yourself a fuddy-duddy. Take that right back. You know what that word really meansuddy-duddy. Take that right back. You know what that word

really means? We were trying to figure it out the other night. Like, where do we want to go? And we couldn't think of one place that was going to be decent except for the Roost. I'll tell you what's fun.

Surprise, surprise. Mike Beloy didn't want to go. It's a popular bar in this room. If we could be the crowd. There were like eight birthdays there the last time we went and we still got a table. It was just fine.

Yeah, there's always hella birthdays there. But no. And it was just fine. I mean, there's still a place to stand, still a place to chill. I just, I'm over going and like standing in line for 20 minutes. Having people look at you like. Those kind of bars are a young man's game. I never want a bouncer to like look me up and down.

It's like, let me in. I'm here to spend money. Get out of here. I'm here to spend money. I don't want to fuck whatever 22-year-olds you have in there. You fucking... Also, where is different color besides black? Yeah. I'm in here to tell

those motherfuckers how good hold the line is. Yeah, exactly. And also, you never hold it down when it's going down. I'm a big, fat, thick dude, too. You know where I'm not? Standing outside of the bar. You know the only thing I'm going to tell the hot girls is you should listen

to Paul anymore. Yeah. And not even on some like have sex with me shit. I just hear Marissa in the background like ha ha ha. That's how I am.

Yeah man. Over it. Just over a busy ass bar. Over a popular just take me to a shitty little spot. That's never really been my scene, to be honest. Me either.

Even when it was supposed to be my scene. I went to them once or twice when I was still living in Fort Worth, and I was like, this sucks. Everything about it sucks. The drinks were more expensive. The people were shitty. Nobody had any interest in it. I went to a place that's so loud that I can't talk to someone. That's a bad sign.

Well, I went to Austin a while back, and friend Matt, he, so he cooked us all dinner and we got there and he had like, he had drinks and everything. Yeah, Matt Beard. He had drinks and everything. Like sushi, oddly enough, it was sushi. And he was, I was like, when are we, dude, when are we going to go out to the bar? And he goes, one of these days, not today, but one of these days, you're going to love not going to the bar.

And just if you have an excuse to not go to the bar and sit and have dinner with your friends and just have drinks and you had a patio, it's what I would dream of now. Like if someone's like, let's let's have a night. My dream would be like somebody made us a dope dinner and there's like we could chill at the pad all night and not have to go anywhere. That sounds perfect. We were sleeping there, by the way. I'm like a crowded bar when there's 10 of my friends. I feel like it's a lot of us. Yeah?

Yeah. Dude, that's all staying in is like, or not going to a shitty bar is just hanging out with your friends. Like what you want to do. And spending less money. Yeah. Or no money. Yeah.

Because dinner and drinks were already there. And friends and everything. Dank. All right. Hell yeah. Popular crowded bars. Hell yeah. All right. Popular crowd of bars. Hell yeah, hell yeah. So those are the picks.

I'm doing a recap. Doing the recap. I let us off, and I did sex in the shower, Thanksgiving food, Tupac, Common, and cocaine. Damn. Yo, that shit is like, that's like a list the feds had one time. Yeah. It'd be funny if you just said that to someone and be like, just try to pick what we drafted. Yeah.

Shane, you went second. You took going to college, Radiohead, art museums, Leonardo DiCaprio, and baseball. God. David, you went third. You took jeans. I think I hate America. Yeah. David, you took jeans, ketchup, middle school, friends, and Super Bowl halftime shows. I stand by it.

Friends the show. Friends the show. Sean, you took 3D movies. Strong start. Alexa. Kevin Smith movies. Sushi. And then popular crowded bars.

We left some good things on the board. Oh, yeah. Swiss cheese. Swiss cheese. Dr. Zhivago. Bjork. The chain smokers were on mine. Kids.

Photography is art. Kids, the movie? No, kids, the beings. Photography is art. Both. I had driving a boat. Like driving a speedboat was on mine. If I could take Common out and replace...

Shame. Oh, shame is for sure overrated. If I could take Common out and replace. Shame. I had shame on that. Oh, shame is for sure overrated. If I could take Common out and replace it with photography as art, I would. I feel you. I feel you. I hate photography as art. When I'm in an art museum and I walk through like the photography section, I'm like, so

what? I hate it. I hate it more. I'm like, you aimed your camera at this thing? Big fucking deal. I hate it more when somebody's like, I'm a like, I'm a photographer, and you're like, God. Oh, yeah, I can read, too. Well, right now you're a barista. Get my fucking coffee.

There's a lot of people walking around Portland with $6,000 necklaces that happen to be cameras. Oh, man. I feel you. I feel you, though. You wanted to say that. God. That's on your bench. That's all real. I mean, we got a lot of personal shit out on this

yeah we did I feel good about it Twitter Bacon Netflix Fantasy Sports Netflix is tight especially their stand up

uh zombies yeah zombies MMA I have McCoy for some reason MMA three billboards outside Ebbing Missouri

FaceTiming is on there FaceTiming oh I like FaceTiming no I don't I fuck with FaceTiming is on there. Oh, I like FaceTiming. No, I don't. I fuck with FaceTiming. Fucking hate it. Reggae. Oh, I had dancing.

I don't like dancing. I do it, but I don't. Yeah, you're wrong, though. That's wrong. That's like sushi. You don't like dancing? Well, I do. That's why I didn't pick it.

Yeah, you're a fool. Trying to be honest with my friends here. That was a fool's errand. Being warm, being famous, traditional masculinity. Traditional masculinity was a fool's errand. Being warm, being famous, traditional masculinity. Traditional masculinity was a good one. I picked fighting. Oh, yeah.

Fighting sucks. Yeah. Very overrated. Everything around it everybody loves except for the actual punching somebody in the face. Anyways. Look, it's been a hell of a journey, listeners. Yeah. That was heavy.

This has been another long one. Hebe and Barry Derrison. Hebe and Barry Derrison. Hebe and Barry Derrison. Shout out to everyone on Twitter. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod. Yep. At All Fantasy Pod. Send us emails,

allfantasypodcasts at gmail.com. Yep. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Keep fucking with us. We love you. Keep doing it. Shout out to super producer Marissa.

Yay. You look like you had something to say, Sean. No. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm just, everybody's dope. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Oh Sean no everybody's dope shout out to Frankie shout out to my little brother

performing I guess performing he's in his national competition he's in Portugal this week performing with the national Norwegian gymnastics team shout out to Marcin I think you're probably going to listen to this one.

I love you, buddy. I'm going to FaceTime you tomorrow. I'm so proud of you. You're killing it, man. You're going to be great. Don't even be nervous. I'll tell you what's underrated, the Norwegian national gymnastics team. There it is.

The kid's body is built like a spring. That's what his coach is saying. I can relate to that. I'm kind of like a blown out mattress's what his coach is saying. I can relate to that. I can relate to that. I think we all get it. I'm kind of like a blown out mattress from the 80s spring myself.

I had to put him underneath the sofa after he didn't get up. Yeah, really more of a unfolded paperclip of a man. Like a busted accordion.

See you guys in Minneapolis. See you guys in Minneapolis. For two shows. That's great. Congratulations. Let's sell this

other one out too. Yeah, I think we're close. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shack-a-tee! Catch up.

Yo! Yo! Yo! That was a hate gun podcast.