All Fantasy Everything - Things That Come Out of the Ground (w/ Allen Strickland Williams)

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Potato is more important than water.Guest:Allen Strickland Williams (@allenstricklandwilliams)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, m...ailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a headgum podcast. everything from the world of popular culture. Today, we are drafting things that come out of the ground. Our guest is the fantastic, very funny stand-of-comedian and our friend Alan Strickland Williams. Hi, everybody. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, are my friends and comedian, Sean Jordan and David Bore.
Starting point is 00:00:48 You know what I like? What's that? Not a sock in this bitch. Not a sock. That's true. That is true. That's true. That's true.
Starting point is 00:00:56 It's all suck. All right. I'm almost worsome. Do you guys do baby powder in the... In the shoes? That's a Florida thing, so I don't know. No, I probably should. Yeah. It's funny because I'll put so much baby powder in the shoes
Starting point is 00:01:11 and it's like, it looks like I'm a narco. It's like just, yeah. That's probably one of the coolest problems I've ever been. Running through the cocaine fields. I've got a lot of cool people probably. Yeah, that sounds like a Snoop Dog lyric. I don't think I have baby powder. powder in my house. Yeah, we don't, and we have a baby, or we had a baby. I'd never had baby powder
Starting point is 00:01:34 around. I got some odor eaters, though. There you go. Oh, that's good. I used to use tenact, the athletes foot stuff. Tough act, tough act, and tenactin. I'd put that in there preemptively sometimes. John Madden preemptively. That was a really good, uh, that was a really good punchline you would hear on a lot of early comic views that's, they'd be talking about something that'd be like, tough act and tenactin. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, John Madden was buried in a tough to enacting coffee. As per the contract. As per the contract.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Get a mausoleum. Nothing's getting in there. That's why they're going to bury me in a McWeldon suit. I wouldn't mind it. I enjoy McWeldon. Are we currently sponsored by MacWeldon? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I actually do love MacWelden. They're the only ones that get like unsolicited ads. I didn't want to like if they had recently left, I wasn't going to be honest about it, but I really do. All of my underwear is Mac Weldon. Yeah, they fit.
Starting point is 00:02:22 They keep everything where it needs to be. Do you Doug plenty of your underwear? Do you guys do that? What does that mean? Like it's all the same pretty much. Oh, yes. I'm getting there. All my underwear is pretty much the, it's like the same brand inside.
Starting point is 00:02:35 It just colors. Delut trade a company and Mac Weldon. That's pretty much all I want. Just Mac Weldon. Only wears Mac Weldon. You're out of hands and stuff. You seem like you could maybe not wear underwear. That's a Florida thing too.
Starting point is 00:02:49 A lot of baby powder in my jeans before I put them on. You got to put baby powder in your jeans before you put them on. You yell damn the toilet. Torpedoes, and then walk out fully command them. And then we listen to Dan the torpedoes by Tomfetti from Florida. Florida shit. We're drafted Florida shit. That would be a foot where you ought to come back over Florida shit.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Oh, wow. I should have pitched that, yeah. I was in, God, where was it? It's north of Miami. Fort Myers. It's more like there. There's like a big hard rock hotel there. It's right north. It might be.
Starting point is 00:03:22 There's a huge. I think four Myers on the other side. But, St. Pete? What was you that? St. Petersburg? It wasn't quite that far up. That's like Tampa, right? Isaac, will you look up giant horse statue, Florida?
Starting point is 00:03:33 I don't want to know what this is. There was like a giant. It's the... And then look up, dropsy. Second biggest statue in the U.S. after... Hallandale Beach. Is that right? Pegasus and Dragon statue.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Yes. It's the second biggest statue outside of the Statue of Liberty in the United States. Holy. Yeah. Boca Raton is that around there? It's, where did you say it was? What were you doing? I was doing a corporate gig.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Fun. One of the worst. It was truly. Yeah, but, well, it paid very, it paid, it paid like, am I involved in money laundering in a amount of money? Like, it was very, it's with those things that, like, pop up every now and then we're like, okay. Sure.
Starting point is 00:04:13 All right. Like, I'm getting on the plane. A giant horse statue feels like money laundering, too. That also feels like money laundering. Well, that is like some weird Canadian businessman who came down there and built it. So I think that might be money laundering. Lundering. But it's got to maintain it.
Starting point is 00:04:25 20 grand a month just to maintain it. You know, you're going to watch that money. It's way more than that, dude. It's so interesting because there are so many weird horse statues in this country. Yeah. Because there's the Denver one. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Yeah. Bluifer. Did you say that loud? I've never heard that. Unless I heard it a few weeks ago and I forgot. Oh, yeah, Bluifer. Man, that thing is creepy. I always wonder how they power the eyes.
Starting point is 00:04:45 You notice the eyes go at night? Hollywood, Florida. Hollywood, yeah. Hollywood, Florida. Yeah, a lot of weird. Man has a strange. relationship with horse. I've been watched a lot of Deadwood recently,
Starting point is 00:04:57 so I'm like, yeah, we do have a strange relationship with horse. I mean, there's one episode where the guy was fucking the horse or, no, I'm thinking Red Dead Redemption. Oh, Red Dead Red Dead Redemption. We watched different Deadwoods, man. I'm doing Red Dead Red Dead Redemption and Deadwood at the same time. So I'm going to go in cowboy motors. Damn, you're going thick.
Starting point is 00:05:12 I'm going thick, yeah. But then my TV blew out, so now I'm kind of not doing anything. You gotta get another TV immediately. Red Dead Redemption. Are you, have you played the second one, too? I played the first one, and then I got to a point where I thought I could, like, could like change uh the the outcome of something and apparently you can't yeah so i need to actually finish that but i'm basically done with that game yeah um and then yeah everyone's i just get a red dead
Starting point is 00:05:32 two is even by the way we're late to the party on this but i was called out a lot for temple of doom being a prequel not a sequel and i heard red dead redemption two is also a prequel that's what people are coming at me with is it it's not i know nothing characters it like three people came at me with that. It's a sequel of a video game, but it's like completely different character. So maybe it happens earlier, but I don't know that that makes it a sequel. A prequel, you mean? A prequel.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Yeah, I don't know that it makes it a prequel. I had no idea that that Chinmunks movie was a frequel. Or wait, what was it? A squeakle. A squeakle. It's a freequel, dude. The Freaky Friday's a frequel. That's a freeple.
Starting point is 00:06:11 And that's a squeakle. I didn't know that. When we have Laura Peekback on, it's a Piquel. Oh, yeah. The second time you played the Atlanta Hawks in the 90s, it was a dominequil. Yeah, there you go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:29 All right. Okay. Yeah. John, you got one? If there was a, I can't think of any movies, she's in, Angeliquel is what I'm going for. There you go. Yeah, I wanted to. There we go.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yeah. Angeliqual. Gia two. I mean, I've never seen, I've only seen scenes. Is there a Gia two? Did they bring it back with like a different cast? I've only seen scenes. I've only read the screenplay.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I've only read the screenplay. I'm not familiar with the actual footage of the movie. Yeah, I don't know what it's. Did they film it? Have you seen the movie? I read the screenplay, but why go see it? I've got a theater in my mind. Just sitting at some old Hollywood bar reading old screenplays.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Ah. Yes. I suppose you watch the movie, huh? I think you ever pull up on like a. like a cute bar, like a cafe tondo, or like a nice coffee shop and read poetry in sort of a public-facing way? I do often. Nice. Are you pissed at this trend?
Starting point is 00:07:29 Everybody's talking about performative males now? No, I'm not, well, everything is performative, right? In like a Judith Butler sense. Like, we're always performing Judith Butler on the pod. Well, yeah. Oh, early, but all right. It's a little early for a butler. It's 1224.
Starting point is 00:07:43 What's the, what's performative males? What's the beef? It's just people. They were one of those strip clubs that came through the common play. Performative males. Yeah. Thunder from down under. They read Joan Didion and then they take their dick out while they do it.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Exactly right. They got so oiled up. It was a sleek wall. Oh, a sleek one. There you go. No, people are making fun of men kind of dressing for the female gays and like trying to appeal to women in a very performative way. I think they deserve it.
Starting point is 00:08:13 It's for the, they do. Feminist. Come on, man. Yeah, like a dude that puts baby powder in his shoes, for example. What's wrong with that? That's what I'm saying. Popping D's. But performative male is like,
Starting point is 00:08:23 it's not like I'm wearing gray sweatpants so you can see the dick outline. It's right? No, no, no. It's more like wearing cropped shirts and like, I don't know. Oh, that's sick. Nobody wants me in a crop shirt,
Starting point is 00:08:34 but like if you got what's happening. There are people out there who definitely want you to have a crop shirt, my friend. Absolutely. Nice you to say. I would like to see it because we would look like a University
Starting point is 00:08:42 of Miami linebacker. Yeah. From the late age. Yeah. The you, baby. He was like a, It looks like a bully in an 80s horror movie. Eat the candy bar.
Starting point is 00:08:53 What's up, Gingis? Just stepped on it. Eat it. You're going to call your mom, eat the fucking candy bar. Is it poop? They never swore. They never, they always, they said the bad words, but they never really swore at them. What do you, what?
Starting point is 00:09:07 Like in 80s, but they would call them a bad name, but they would never say like, eat the fucking candy bar. No. They would say, yeah. They'd use a different F word. They wouldn't use one of the seven words you can't say on television, but they would say it. Other stuff that you can't say now. Can't say now.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Yeah, for sure, a lot of that. You were, in your candy bar scenario, we're envisioning that to be poop? Or was it a candy bar? It was a candy bar. I'm doing straight on a monster squad. Oh, I haven't seen. Kevin Arnold's older brother.
Starting point is 00:09:31 He's the bully. Maintaining our complete honesty. Haven't seen Monster Squad. Ah, that's not a must see. You guys seen Monster Squad? I've already heard of Monster Squad. Wolfman's got Nards. No?
Starting point is 00:09:39 Wolfman's got Nards. There's a Wolfman and they're like, kick him in the nards. Oh, whoa, okay, Monster Squad. Kick him in the Nards. And he goes, Wolfman doesn't have Nards, and then he does it. And he goes, Wolfman's got Nards.
Starting point is 00:09:51 And then he runs away. Why wouldn't the Wolfman have a nut sack? I never understood. That's why that's your Wi-Fi password. It's out of nowhere. Wolfman's got Nards. It's Wolfman's got Nards all overcase. Except for Nards, which is all over case.
Starting point is 00:10:05 What's your network? Wolfman's big dick. Nards is N-4-R. N-4-5. The password is, did you see that guy's balls? They were weird-looking. All genital-related. All genital-related lines. All the S's are dollar signs.
Starting point is 00:10:20 When you're trolling the poetry in these public spaces, does it ever work? Trolling the poetry? You know what he means. Do you ever get inspired? Do I ever get to write your own? I do write my own poetry. I know, of course you do. And I bet it's wonderful.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Would you recite some of it? Would you read us one? Right? Right now? You don't know. I wouldn't do anything. I don't think I would like to do it on the podcast. Ever?
Starting point is 00:10:42 Ever? Maybe, maybe one day. Would you do it live and dead? Denver. I would do it live in Denver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone who came all out. Anyone who came to high planes. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. We're recording beforehand. Do you ever have any interesting encounters based on you having public poetry reading? No, not really, because I'm actually pretty engrossed into poetry. So I'm really. Book down, not book up. Yeah, yeah, book down. Like, I'm not open to conversation when I'm reading poetry. Nice. You just give. Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice how extremely. Please. Hold on. I really admire your ability to do that because I would feel so self-conscious doing it. Because I would think people would think I was being a performative male, but you're right. But I've been doing it since I was like 16. You've been living in his poetry life.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Yeah. So it's not really, it's not performative at this point. It's pretty authentic. This guy's performing the skateboard shit. His name is Shaughna Shored. What are you going to like that? Skateboard shit. That's because I'm not in the poetry?
Starting point is 00:11:40 Oh, wow. Just because I haven't climbed the poetry? Oh, wow. This is bringing up the, the, long-heralded skateboarder verse poet. That's a big beat. That's a big beat. That's a big beat.
Starting point is 00:11:52 That's a monster squad too. That's like the whole thing. Which is crazy because skateboard is poetry in motion. That's what I said. Poetry on the sidewalk, my friend. Blinding people of science. Pass the paintbrush to Picasso, playboy. Oh, true in motion.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Run that song? It's poetry in motion. She blinded me with science. Science. That song was just he like smart girls? I think so. I don't know. probably that was a weird one too though because it was like was that like a talk
Starting point is 00:12:19 the talking head sort of thing so then this guy did that yeah yeah that's a weird one yeah he's like oh you can just do that you can do that that's the way you can sing yeah Thomas Dolby Dolby yeah wait but what is the point that he just saw her do science oh look it up whoa she blinded me with science girls do science now is that like what's the it was damn it was a pro stem song okay okay I'll be at the first sanctuary and Natty, December 4th. It's about all I got right now. That's fun. Yeah. It'd be a good time.
Starting point is 00:12:49 And then, I don't know, other stuff by Ian's book. Watch David Special. Thank you. Join the Patreon. By my album. By Allen's album. Ran through on Alice Shigoland.com. Is it out now?
Starting point is 00:12:58 It's out now. It's on vinyl, streaming. Pick it up. It's hot. I love that. It's hot. You are extremely funny. I've always thought so.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Thank you, Shod. You are really, really good at stand up. I'd like to echo that sentiment. We're all, this is funny, funny land. We did our. our half hours the same night. That's right. We did.
Starting point is 00:13:16 That was fun. I remember you guys in that you were in the same. Man, I remember going to the Hyperion Public. They were like you had a joint. They aired ours at the same time. Yeah, they aired at the same time. And then they never aired a stand-up special on TV again.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Were we the last two? We were the last of those half hours on time. It only aired. It only aired once, right? Yeah. Or am I crazy. One time each, right? Friday night at like midnight or something.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Such for shit. It's so funny just because I was, when we were young, I was like, they would just put specials on all. All the time. All the time. All that's how I was informed with comedy. You just flipped to Comedy Central. More often than not, there'd be a special one.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Yeah. Someone. Not anymore. No. Now it's the office coming up Tuesday. Hey, there we go. Can you still find that half hour somewhere? Is it on the website or something?
Starting point is 00:14:01 It's probably on Paramount. It's got to be. Yeah, I think it is on Paramount. Actually, I think they put all of ours on YouTube too. Oh, okay, cool. I think they just straight up put them all on. Yeah, yeah, good. There's no real reason why this song is why.
Starting point is 00:14:13 There's no real through line on it? Oh, there's not. He doesn't say anything about. There's, like, one line where it's like, I can smell the chemicals. So maybe it's something about, like, pheromones. I also wonder if, like, when did that song come out and when did Weird Science come out? That's a great question. This is October 1982.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Okay, so that's probably before Weird Science. Weird Science was 85. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You're stewed, but why. So science was having a moment in the early 80s. Space race. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Pre-challenged explosion. Yeah, this is. We still believed in space. Most Challenger, you didn't get any of this. No, no, no. We had to cut it off a little bit. We were still locked in. Hi, I'm David Borey is here.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. Just watch my special Birth of a Nation with a G on 800-pound gorilla YouTube. That's really all I got right now. If you didn't know that it was a stand-up comedy thing, and you're just like, check me out on 800-pound gorilla YouTube. I'm really kind of hoping I get it. get some crossover by people who were looking for birth of a nation. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Yeah, yeah. Because that's so funny. You might change some wives. I might change your gin. Yeah. Because also the artwork is just the birth of a nation artwork with my face. Yeah. Shout to Richard Ingerslaw who painted it.
Starting point is 00:15:29 You're just waiting. You're just challenging the deep. Who's that guy? Who directed? Not DB Cooper, but it was on D.W. Griffith. Yeah. David Cooper is a guy who disappeared on the plane.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Yes. Yeah. And I think that, I think Birth of Nation premiered at the Vista. They played at the White House. They did, but I think you're right. I think it premiered somewhere here. Well, because it was like a moonshot. It was like a huge money project at the time.
Starting point is 00:15:54 There's been a lot of money on it. Just like my comedy special. Also a moonshot for me. You built all these sets. I didn't want to explain it, but yeah, that's why I did. Yeah, they took a big risk. I took a big risk. What's the difference?
Starting point is 00:16:10 Pretty similar content as well. A lot of the same messenger. messaging, yeah, yeah, yeah. You go further. Just repack it. You push it harder. You pick up the baton. Yeah, it's like a continuation.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Pick up the torch. You pick up the torch and carry it on. No, I'm holding a torch in the cover. Yeah, absolutely. I'd say a G-Quel. Yeah, I was trying to, I was trying to, yeah. It's the closest I could get it. G-Equel, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Borikul. Oh, Boricua. There it is. Moreena, Morina, Moriqua, Morina. Yeah, Puerto Ricans. Little brown hairs everywhere. You nasty twin, I don't care. Is that pubes?
Starting point is 00:16:49 That's, yeah. Got it. I think that's what he meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you really break down what he was saying in that song, it's nasty. Is it? I haven't really... Still not a play, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Oh, yeah. Okay, well, that's the next lyrics I'm going to pull up. But Alice Strickland Williams is here. I have here, everybody. Where can people find you on social media? Where can they find your album? Anything else you'd like to tell people about this comes out. End of...
Starting point is 00:17:08 November 6, 6. November 6. November 6. November 6. I will have just done some amazing shows in new. York City. But yeah, no, the album ran through. It's on Blonde Medicine Records. My website, Alan Strickland Williams.com has links to that and the digital versions
Starting point is 00:17:24 as well. And I'm on the gram at Alice Strickland Williams. I'm on Twitter at Totally Allen because I was nine years old, I guess, when I made that one. Yeah. TikTok, trying to figure out YouTube shorts. You know, I'm all over the place. You know, I was going to bring it up.
Starting point is 00:17:39 We should start doing little shorts with this, like a little five minutes. snippets. Okay. Five minute? Yeah, that's like, the next move is like putting out smaller versions of the whole episode so people don't have to like watch the whole two hours if they don't want to and get them hooked. Great.
Starting point is 00:17:54 That could all be gone, but that I was going to bring that up here. They want to see. That's the clip. This is the clip. There it is. Better than that dumb shit I said yesterday or last week. Or two weeks ago. Damn, or three weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Yeah. You suck every week. Stupid man. You suck. Do you stink. What a bummer. You stink figuratively and literally. I knew it.
Starting point is 00:18:12 I always tell Lauren. You reek. You don't smell. Sean, baby powder. I walk in and she barfs. Was it me? And she's like, no. Every time I walk in, you barf, what's not?
Starting point is 00:18:23 Oh, I'm so glad you're home. Yeah. And then Isaac runs in steps in it. The barf. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Isaac, you had a dog barf incident today?
Starting point is 00:18:34 It was not a good morning. Sorry, dude. I, um, sorry, I'm. You're getting emotional? Okay. What happened? I'm like an allergy reaction. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:42 I really. I thought you were crying for a second. No, no, no, no, no. Man, I was going to come over and slap you. My dog, as I was about to, like, step out the door. Yeah. I stepped instead in my dog's puke. It was like a watery puke.
Starting point is 00:18:55 And we think you were having sex. And you think that I'm making this all up. We think you're lying about that. Which I wish I was. Yeah. I really wish that instead of... Which is what you would say if you were lying about. Sounds like somebody who just got laid talking.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah. Okay. People still saying got laid? I got laid. I got laid Not in a way that's like Not really, right? Yeah, I got laid last weekend
Starting point is 00:19:17 Do they say knocking boots now instead? Bucing Boots Beasts with two bucks Bees with two backs Well, I remember overhearing guys one time This was in college I ever heard two guys talking to each other And he goes, yeah, I doinked her
Starting point is 00:19:30 That's like you kick a field goal Off the upper end or something Did we ever draft terms for sex? We did a live one here. one time and I don't think we ever released it. We have to have. Because trade and paint was one of my favorite ones. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:19:47 That's really good. Oh, because you got stank on my hangdown. And everybody was like, oh. Hank on my stang down. Got some Hank on my stank down. I got some Hank on my stang down. That should mean a different thing. Those should both be phrases that respect each other.
Starting point is 00:20:03 That's like bowling a perfect game or something. Yeah, one's front. One's back. I got some hank on my stank down. Oh, sorry, dude. that sucks maybe it means you like I waxed my boat
Starting point is 00:20:14 but you mean it like I actually waxed my boat this weekend took the boat out on the lake got some Hank on my staying down this week my wife I don't think you should doink your wife no you don't doink that's that's your queen
Starting point is 00:20:29 yeah yeah I don't think of me I was just being part of the bit going after college I think college is probably after that you can only doank like first two semesters yeah I always used to say my own He used to say...
Starting point is 00:20:40 He used to say, putting the screws to her. Yeah, I've heard that. Jesus. But that also... I'm 15, Mike. Yeah, I thought that was like interrogating. It is, but my uncle would you... And also, I'm a child when he's saying this.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Like, you put the screws to her. It's like, 15. Yeah. No. You were doing it then, though. No, I did it once. And then I waited until I was 18 again to do it again. And I didn't put the screws to anyone when I was 13.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I'll tell you that. My name's Ian Carmel. carol across the platform. You can buy my book, T-shirt Swim Club. We're rented from your or check it out from your library. You can listen to the audiobook, wherever audiobooks are offered. Check it out. I'm really proud
Starting point is 00:21:23 of it. I think it's good. I think you'll like it too. That's it. That's it. It's crazy, but this is coming out in November. We have some stuff lining up. Did an old boy get a hold of you guys? What are you talking about? With some dates. New Orleans? Oh, yes. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Yeah, you wanted you to respond. You free? Yeah. There's a festival. It's, it is basically an AFE festival. It's the best. I mean, we probably can't say too much, huh? I don't know if we can see the dates.
Starting point is 00:21:54 I don't know if you want us to say that March. We say, I want to, there's a good chance we'll be back in New Orleans March of next year. Yeah. So keep the entire month open. If you look at who's like confirmed, it's pretty sick. It's everybody who is in the New Orleans festival. Like, including the people that weren't there that you wanted there.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Sr. Yeah. Zion Williamson? Zion Williamson will be there. Zion Williamson's hosted the remote version of hot ones. Wheelchair bound Cajun chef, Paul Prudome is going to be there. Somebody hit me up the other day.
Starting point is 00:22:32 They're like, you should go on hot ones. I'm like, I'd love to. It's so funny when they do that and you're like, I can't. If they did it based on how much. somebody loves hot sauce, you'd be on. Sure, sure. I think I'd do all right, but Beyonce was on it. You know, I mean, I'd love to.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Beyonce did hot ones? Not maybe, I don't know. Sabrina, I'm just saying. I think she did, yeah. I think I remember something about that. Beyonce's done hot ones. Did she do it in character as Foxy Cleopatra from Austin? Cold member?
Starting point is 00:22:59 Wait, hold on. I always forget about that. Isn't that kind of memory hold that? No, she was not on. Oh. Maya Rudolph did a sketch on SNL. as Beyonce on hot ones. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Beyonce was in an Austin Powers movie. Yeah. I think a really good job was really funny. I think all those movies are good. Yeah, they're funny. Mike Myers, man.
Starting point is 00:23:24 You don't get a lot of people saying they're not good. I don't think I know anyone who doesn't like. I think back in the day it was like, oh, they didn't really need to do the sequels or ball ball, but I'm like, looking back, I'm like, history has vindicated Austin Powers. They're fine. They're fine. Absolutely. As far as sequels go, they're fine.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Yeah. Well, they're great. Yeah. They're really. Yeah. Austin Pekul. Spy who shag me? Is that the second one?
Starting point is 00:23:43 Austin Pekul. Yeah, Spy who shag me is the second one, right? The spy who shagg meekul? There we. Get over here. Can I do what you do? I probably can't. So, never mind, stay there.
Starting point is 00:23:53 But you should be over here. No, you're doing a good job, too. Thank you. Thank you, brother. Woo! I should point out the blue sweatshirt. What a look. I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I mean, it's a bowl. I don't take a lot of swings. So thank you. It looks great. A blue shirt. is a swing? This kind of blue. It's a bright blue.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Normally I'm navy gray, white, black. Gravy, navy, dude. Gravy, nay. Macy gray, navy gray. It's my prize, racing horse, gravy nay. What we say? Oh, man, I just ruined a bit. Remember you were like, got to get carms on the back of that gravy train.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Got to get carbs on the back. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. Listen, let's just start drafting. All right, dude. Let's just take our picks. We won't even riff.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Yeah. Everybody was going to do. Today we are drafted. we can talk about gravy trains all day but instead we are here to draft things that come out of the ground which was straight from Alan Strickland Williams-Noggin I love it. It's a great topic.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Pretty good one. The way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. All right here we go. Did you watch Braveheart last night? Come on, man. I watched Game of Thrones. Why, dude? You've seen it all the way through already. I was pretty tired. I mean, I
Starting point is 00:25:07 got home. We gave you two. I was like, I gave you a small meal and a big meal. I probably got home at 8.30. And then I went to, I was in bed by 10. I don't know. I'm going. I know. You're like, ooh.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Eat the candy bar. Dingus. Watch chef, dingus. Have you seen Braveheart? Yeah. Laura wants to watch Braveheart with me. I just keep finding ways to not watch it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:33 That's crazy because I've vetted a lot of relationships as the exact opposite situation. That's how it is in mine. Yeah. I put that shit on. She was out. Never saw her again. No interest. Dana loves history.
Starting point is 00:25:46 A phone cord hanging out of the watcher. Dana loves British history specifically. That movie, she stayed long enough to tell me how a historical it was and then left the room. But like, it's crazy. That this man. I know. This is the easiest task I've been given to. Watch it on the plane.
Starting point is 00:26:06 I could. I could start it. It's not to be watched. on your phone. Yeah. You're going to want to watch it on a screen. Oh, yeah. I watched the whale on the plane,
Starting point is 00:26:15 which was just, like, hilarious for a lot of reasons. But it was, like, also just a weird movie. And so I was, like, I was sitting next to this woman and, like, I was, like, kind of watched it ironically and laughing. And then at the end, at some point, it got me. So then she lives over and I'm crying. I'm like, this is what you think I'm fucking nuts. The movie has nothing to do with my emotions.
Starting point is 00:26:37 I'm thinking about stuff. I watched the man. watch his last movie on the flight. I mean, also on a plane, though, any movie will get me at some point. The heighten emotion, man. Yeah. Ten seconds of the Lion King. I mean, Waterworks.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Yeah, yeah. I watch the notebook all the time on planes. Yeah. Just. You're just like, that's, you're like. That would really freak me out. God, that's a good. If I was sitting next to a guy watching the notebook crying on an airplane, I would.
Starting point is 00:27:02 I heard the other day that, like, doing things, patterns like that, like, watching the same movie over and over on a flight is, like, dealing with anxiety. in a way that I didn't know about. No, it's not something familiar. I never thought about it. I only said a social number of seven hundred times. It's a really good movie. I just love it.
Starting point is 00:27:18 But it's like a soothing, familiar thing for a flight. I never really thought about it. Have you guys drafted airplane movies before? No. No. Wait, did we? I called debbs on that if you haven't done it. We've done it.
Starting point is 00:27:29 No, we drafted in movies to make you cry and Shane took out like an airport. I wasn't here. Okay. We have not drafted airplane. That's a great. I call that when my next time comes out in 10 years. Really is a good one.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Because it's a really specific genre. It shows you a lot of personality of who you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like watching a brand new movie on the flight a lot of times. No. I want it. Oh, see, I'll go to the new ones on Delta. I'll watch Slop.
Starting point is 00:27:52 I'll watch like Slop on Delton. You know what I mean? Where there's a movie you're coming out like on there. You're like, I would never watch that movie at home. I would never go to the theater. That's why I watch the whale. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:00 But I'm here. I might as well check it out. Where am I going? I'll make a list. I'll go through all the titles. Make a list on my notes app. and then I'll go through and like top two
Starting point is 00:28:10 like which one do I want more and I'll delete one of them and then which one do I want more until I'm down to one movie process order yeah I usually kills about a half hour
Starting point is 00:28:19 I usually go and I see if the social network is on and if it's not on then we have to really think about what we're doing that one is so good it's so good for a plane it's like a perfect plain movie it's a perfect play movie
Starting point is 00:28:29 you should stay and we'll do back to back it's okay no fuck shit that comes out the ground yeah a good topic That's what came out of the ground today.
Starting point is 00:28:39 We really sure. We'll put a pin on it. Next time at Sean's down. We should do it again. But we are drafting things to come out of the ground. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Whoa. Wow.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Okay, here we go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, Alan wins. Scissors against two paper. It's scissors. It's scissors against two paper. Alan is the winner. It is incumbent.
Starting point is 00:29:03 That's triumph. Now I'm just doing triumph. Oh, I thought you were doing strong bad. I thought you were doing a chef, like putting a lobster in a cauldron. It's time for you to make your pick the cheat. All right. But no, not to make your pick to determine the order of the draft. But before you do that, I will remind you it as a serpentine draft.
Starting point is 00:29:19 What is that? That's a great question. Like waiting in line to get on a roller coaster. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, if you pick fourth in the first, right, you pick first in the second round. Solid. With that mind, what would the order of today's draft be? I pick the order of how we pick.
Starting point is 00:29:36 We draft, yeah. You can put yourself first. You can. You know what I'm going to do? Let's just keep it simple stupid. We'll start with David and go to Sean. David Allen, Ian Sean. David Allen, Ian Sean sounds like a guy.
Starting point is 00:29:51 David Allen Ian Sean sounds like a guy. They had two really good albums. And then they started making weird songs about science. Like all the albums were about science all of a sudden. A lot of turmoil in the band, you see. So much inner. Inner. They were more of an outer turmoil band.
Starting point is 00:30:06 that'd be rough like the world is in disarray so now our band isn't doing it we all get along just fine so much talk about inner turmoil there's so much traffic out there that we're not getting along yeah they've outer turmoil in it's great
Starting point is 00:30:20 it is great that was a great thing we're gonna get to David's first pick but we're gonna take a break first we're gonna be right back on all fantasy everything this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by factor now like we've been saying it's fall
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Starting point is 00:33:52 Book a new reservation with promo code, All-Fantasy, to get $250 off your cabin. Get in there. Once again, that's Comicconthe-cruise.com slash all-fantasy. Get on it. And we're back. Welcome back to Hall Fancy, everything. Already in progress, we're drafting things that come out of the ground. David Borey is about to make the first pick in the draft.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Texas T. Oh, wow, I thought we were going to wait for that one, but all right. I think that's the first friend of talent. I also watched There Will Be Blood, like last year. There you go. Oh, fair way. Rainage. Another movie, my lady, not interested in.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Yeah. It hates that. Every time it even flashes up, she's like, God, I hate that movie. Really? Hates it. Hates it. Probably a little too violent, a little like senseless violence, you know.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I don't. Is it? I mean, there's violence. It's for capitalism. I haven't seen it in a long time. Anyway, yeah, she doesn't like it. Completely reasonable and justified violent. I'd say the best reason for violence.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Yeah, what does she not drive a car? Damn, I'm not trying to get her. Plastic, dude? Laura loves that movie. Has she seen Landman? Yeah. What's her favorite? What's her favorite oil movie?
Starting point is 00:35:00 What's her favorite oil movie? Yeah. Lorenzo's. Can you call that an oil movie? Does you look sterling involved, right? Because they start out. Yeah. They're oil guys.
Starting point is 00:35:09 They're roughnecks. They're roughnecks. Yeah. Yeah. Leather, what are that? Roughnecks? Roughnex are oil guys. I'll be damned if my little girl's going to marry a roughneck.
Starting point is 00:35:15 She's better than you. She's better than all of us. Gotta get a rough neck. That'd be, that'd bum me out if somebody said she's better than you. Like, well, sure, but I don't need to hear it. What if you, what if Maxine tried to marry a podcaster, though? You might have to have that conversation. You would have to say that.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Have to. I'd say that to Maxx. I know these guys. They're not good guys I know what they get up to No that'd be a bummer He doesn't mean what he said about Mac Weldon We do
Starting point is 00:35:39 We legit too I'm sure he looks good Head to toe Mac Weldon I'd have a real dark dinner With two microphones I need to talk to you And we're going to record it It's off the record
Starting point is 00:35:50 Uh yeah oil Oil what else is to say Come on it All right Get you rich Well Not me No
Starting point is 00:36:00 Does oil ever not get your I wouldn't know what to do If I struck oil I wouldn't know how to get rich off That's what they're betting on Dude a bunch of rubes Hitting oil What do you do?
Starting point is 00:36:08 What would you do? What would you do? What would you call? I can't ever say this word I'd get a straw I'd drink a milkshake Something like that Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:15 You gotta see if it's How crude it is Is that a landman Is that what that is? No Oh okay No A landman's the one
Starting point is 00:36:22 The broker's What is a landman What is a landman? I'm not sure I didn't get that out of the whole ten episodes Landman's the landman Yeah Wildcatters
Starting point is 00:36:30 the guy that goes out and tries to figure out maybe where there's going to be oil. That's a Jerry Jones, Jerry Jones is so old, he was a wildcatter. I think he was maybe a wildcatter. He like gambled big on some oil and then that's how he got the cowboys. He also owned before that he owned like six grocery stores. There's so much stuff he did. He used to sell insurance door to door.
Starting point is 00:36:52 I just learned in all that documentary, but he did a ton of stuff and just he also played college ball with Jimmy Johnson and won a championship. At Arkansas, right? It's insane. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah. Like, people gave him Chevron and the Cowboys.
Starting point is 00:37:04 You're like, we won a national championship. It comes by a football team. But they didn't like that in Arkansas, man. It was coming in the Texas and buying the Cowboys. A Wildcat. A Wildcat. So if I strike oil, I should call... Not a Wildcat.
Starting point is 00:37:17 Jerry Jones. I should call Jerry Jones. You should call Laura. You should talk about it. Laura, help me figure out. I know you don't like that movie. Bye. That's why you're the perfect person to advise me.
Starting point is 00:37:29 I need to know what to do with my oil. What's the scenario where you've struck oil? I can't think of one. Are you digging in the backyard? Maybe. Yeah. I'm trying to plant a tree? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Not to say picks, but that goes into the ground. Yeah, I just dig way, way, way too deep to plant the tree. You get really bored. You're like, maybe you can't, can you dig to China? Like you're like, actually can I do that? What's the most you've ever dug? dude how far down once I started getting into jazz I dug it
Starting point is 00:38:01 hard I had to dig a grave for a cat like two years ago yeah you get a foot like a foot and I was like this sucks dude it's way harder to dig in the gun you gotta give the cat two feet I got fence posts like with a post hole digger that's like what's that couple feet
Starting point is 00:38:17 you shake that in how does a pencil you like you jam it and then you pull it out and then it's like it closes in and grabs the dirt yeah but that's what's that. I think probably like a foot and a half or something like that. Maybe more than that. Maybe more than that. I mean, it's really got to be
Starting point is 00:38:33 in there. I'm trying to think when it was like all the way down. It's fairly deep. It sucks digging. Big hug does suck. I've also dug a French drain. That sucks. What is that? It's like it's anal. It's a drain for cigarettes. Peeing out of your butt. Hey, do you dig French drains? It's like the drain
Starting point is 00:38:51 on the side of the house and it's like I forget what the drop is supposed to be. It was, like, overseed by a guy. It wasn't, like, just 15. In the States Island? Yeah. Let me make this drain. Oil is a great pick.
Starting point is 00:39:09 That's great. I didn't think of it. Alan. So, okay, that's going to really change my whole strategy, but now I'm going to flip it. Now I'm going to go, I guess I'll say this so that we can keep some other options open. I'm going to say gold. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't 100% understand why it's. so valuable. I also wouldn't know what to do if I struck gold. I wouldn't, I'd be like take it to a pawn shop. I don't know where I would take it to make it money. Same thing. It's, it's, it's one of these
Starting point is 00:39:36 jobs that doesn't really exist anymore, but it would have been an asset, an assayer. But gold is, like, so if you have a bunch of gold right now, how does that translate to money? Well, what they used to do in Deadwood, because I'm watching it right now, is they used to take it to like a central bank or like, I guess, is it now Fort Knox? Does like literally the gold go to Fort Knox? Is there I think so. No, there's no gold. Well, that's not good for the economy. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:40:00 But does our gold reserve still, like, back up our dollar? No. It doesn't at all, right? No. So gold. The gold standard. Yeah, that ended in, like, the 1800s, I want to say. 1900s?
Starting point is 00:40:09 Ari's agency? The gold standard. I feel like Nixon had something to do with that, too. Or Nixon did something with money that people. Oh, wait, 73? Yeah. Oh, way later than I thought. My bad.
Starting point is 00:40:20 But there was a lot of stuff where it was like, yeah, are we going to do gold? Then are we going to do silver? and um but then it is that type of thing too where it's like yeah why are these things really valuable and i i was just reading a bunch of stuff about gold uh gold mining because i was watching dead when i was like i'd done a wikipedia hole when i was high or something and i guess a lot of the california gold rush people came out here some people found some gold and then a lot of people found what became known as fool's gold because it was looked like gold but that in and of itself was a valuable resource because it was used,
Starting point is 00:40:56 I can't remember what it was used in, but it was used in the process of smelting some other thing. Oh, pyrite, right? Yeah, right, yeah. Okay, so you could sell Fools Gold also. So you could, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's not a bad setup then. Shoot for the moon.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Are those the 49ers? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. 1849. The price of gold right now is $3,680 per whatever the unit is. Pound was a silver town. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:19 I had some silver for a while. I remember when you got into silver. Wait, really? Yeah. That's awesome, David. So you're on the crypto train way early. No, no, it was just I came up on some silver. So who am I selling my gold to?
Starting point is 00:41:35 I'm not going to let this go. I sold the silver at a jewelry store. You can just go. So if I got 10 pounds of gold, well, two pounds or whatever. And I'd just take it in. Like bars? To a gold store. Yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 00:41:46 What would I do? I think you call it $100 cash for gold. Yeah. Hey, I have mesothed the only omel. Will this get rid of it? Damn, gold was like in 2023, you could have gotten it for like $1,800 an ounce. And now it's $3,600 an ounce. It's in an all-time high.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Is it an all-time high? That's so funny. We've got to get some gold. It's like during economic uncertainty, right? Yeah. Well, gold is still gold. Like, it's better than owning stocks. That's what they think.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Yeah. It's like if every computer in the world dies and we have to go back to this system of melting down precious metals to stamp into coins to paper goods It feels luxurious, though. Have you ever seen like a silver bar? Oh, it's awesome. It's so cool. There was this pawn shop in Sioux Falls. They were like, we got a million dollars in gold.
Starting point is 00:42:33 That was their whole thing. You could go look at it. And it was in a safe and it was probably as big as your album. But the amount of gold. Yeah, it's not a lot. Barely any. I'm like, well, this, that's cool. Can you see them ones?
Starting point is 00:42:44 It looks stupid. You can also pan for gold, right? Sure. Yeah. Yeah, little bits. Yeah. like flakes in the river mine it and then it's like you know what yeah it's like wherever there's gold there's like make a hardware store like yeah do that saloon comes next you guys ever seen that
Starting point is 00:43:04 you ever watch that show on discovery channel the gold rush show where they have the giant mines in alaska oh yeah yeah yeah those dudes are like i was talking to my friend about it it's like it's like a job you wish you could have is a little kid yeah yeah because they just they all have You don't realize your body was going to hurt. Huge trucks. And they're driving trucks around and there's water everywhere. They get to see a moose every now and then. Yeah, it's like they're having the best time.
Starting point is 00:43:29 They have squeeze-its? Yeah. They have Squeez-it. Do you remember squeeze-its? Do I remember squeeze-its? The Cool-Burst things you're talking about, like the squeeze-it juice? Yeah, and they had little faces on them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:41 I remember the Kool-Aid ones. Cool-Burst, I think they were called. Kool-A jammers. Or were they, maybe they were called Kool-Aid squeezes-its. But, yeah, they were amazing. No, Squeeze-It was its own brand. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:48 A Squeez-It family. That was a Kool-Aid man. Yeah, Hieronymus Squeeze-It. Isaac, did you were Squeez-It around when you were a young man? They're different, too, to Isaac. Yeah, that's a different. You're asking me a different question. That's why he was late to squeeze.
Starting point is 00:44:01 That's what he calls boobs or squeezes-its. You know what's funny is I was actually talking about boobs last night because Amy Silverberg was on yesterday and her email is Big Jugg's rule. And I was conveying this to my friends and they were like, What size of boobs do you prefer? That was 30 minutes of conversation. Wow. 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:44:23 30 minutes. He took out a diagram. I didn't even, I brought my laptop for this specific reason. I've made some charts. Where were you when this conversation was happening? We were at the Red Lion. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:36 Oh, nice. Yeah, and then we went across street. Have you guys ever been to the Chah Chah La? First class I threw up in L.A. Yeah. That place sucks. Only fight I've ever seen in L.A. was at the Chachau.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Yeah, that's bad. I saw a big fight there. And I threw up in a lot of places in this town. I feel like it's a long linch. That's a cool. That was, Kyle used to live right down the street. We go to Red Lion and then I always wanted to go to Chachat Club. And he would always tell me like it's, nah, it's dicey.
Starting point is 00:45:04 I talked to him into it one night, big fight. Almost like 10 minutes after we got there. Tashi used to have a show. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, that was one of those weird. It was like PBR sponsored that show or something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Something weird like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was that taco truck. Maybe it's still there that would put French fries in your burritos. California style. Yeah. Sounds great. Red Lion.
Starting point is 00:45:27 I would have too much to drink there and end up eating a lot of sausage off of other people's plates. Yeah. What a fun thing to be able to get just a big plate of sausage, though. People get up and leave and leave sausage. I watched them there the whole time. They didn't do anything gross to that sausage. Nothing wrong with that, by the way. Nothing on the table.
Starting point is 00:45:43 I would do that to this day. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't care one bit. If I saw them not touch it, done let me ask you this nine inches let me ask you this after that come on brother nine inches of sausages how much oh yeah uh room service cart in the hallway to hotel no never maybe i never have but i might i'd have to be pretty fucked french fries i'd have to be pretty fucked up you could tell the french fries it's like they put it out in the hall for them to
Starting point is 00:46:10 come get it here's the real question what kind of fry yeah steak fry steak oh no i'm always passing steak fry. Oh, always I'm not a big steak fry guy. I like a skinny fry. Too thick, huh? Yeah. I get that. Steak fries can go bad, I think, a lot. When they get cold, they're cold. Yeah, yeah. But a hot steak fry, it's a, it's a conduit for the sauce.
Starting point is 00:46:29 True. No, Joe, no. It's just a big boat behind 50. They get that crunch right on there, though. Yeah. I don't really even care. I feel like they come out floppy. That's when Red Robin started turned for me and the steak fries started getting floppy. They called them and then you get the U, the horseshoe and then. I know what you're saying. I don't like them. I'm not kidding.
Starting point is 00:46:44 I just won't let it go. To me, I mean, it's a lower form of poetry. You know what I mean? But, like, I still celebrate it. But I like him crispy. I don't mind him crispy. And I vote. And I vote.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Yeah, I don't do that. I'm independent. I'm independent. Rand Paul. Rand Paul. You're a big Rand guy, dude. I knew a guy named Big Rand back in the day. Big Rand?
Starting point is 00:47:07 Threatened to choke me out one time. Was it going to steak fry? He thought my girlfriend was too. With the invisible hand? He thought my girlfriend was too. too hot for me. So you got mad at me one night. Isn't that crazy? What? He got mad at me and threatened to beat me up one night
Starting point is 00:47:19 because he thought my girlfriend was too attractive for to be with me. Was she? Yeah. That's neither here nor there. It was just one of those things where I'm like, Rand, she ain't going to.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Big Rams made one of a sense. For him, he was just like injustice. It was just like he was upset at the inequality of the relationship. Him and this dude's spoon. They both could not handle it. What the spoon is big, Rand? Yeah, they were working for drugs
Starting point is 00:47:46 Spence always turned something out Oh yeah, Spoon had braids They were gnarly You say Spoon had rabies? Braids Oh Rabies of the hair I do like
Starting point is 00:47:56 Not that it happened to you But in a just like an Abstract sort of way A man having abstract Beef like that And he was my buddy too They were both like They got my back
Starting point is 00:48:06 A lot of times When I should have Yeah Gotten beat up let's say But you didn't back into his car You didn't take his drink You didn't take his girl It was just a theoretical concept
Starting point is 00:48:16 That in his opinion Didn't like it There's a cosmic imbalance here And he was gonna set it right By the way it was By choking me It was He had seen us together a bunch
Starting point is 00:48:26 He just came up to the table And just out of nowhere And he was I think he was even smiling And he was like man I just don't like this And I can't remember the exact verbiage But that was the gist of it Was he just didn't like
Starting point is 00:48:38 What was happening? It was crazy Where was his girl? Why was he with spoon? his girl's too ugly for him and he's not the only way That's a whole book right there But I can't remember how it resolved
Starting point is 00:48:50 I think I just like talked him off the ledge a little bit I might have even been like Yeah man I don't get it either Whatever Yeah yeah yeah She's got really bad burbs Her personality She's gross
Starting point is 00:49:01 She's blind She's gonna break in love with you You gotta just like Whoa whoa whoa I'm happy a spoon doesn't know what a podcast is Spoon's a big the daily guy Time for my first pick And with my first pick
Starting point is 00:49:27 I'm going to take The aforementioned Listen we've already done tea We've already done oil and gold Now I have to go to the third most valuable thing To come out of the ground. Potatoes Oh, there you thought you were going to
Starting point is 00:49:39 going somewhere else. That's great. Potatoes rule. Potato, it's an incredibly important thing that comes out of the ground. Yeah. One of our most versatile foods. We're just talking about fries. Sure. Even if you don't like a steak fry, you like a fry. Some sort of potato product.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Some sort of potato product. Tot. We were talking the other day. I like sweet potatoes. What was the last time you had a baked potato? Oh, I just got one from Wendy's. Did you? Like a month or two ago.
Starting point is 00:50:01 And I was like, I didn't, because I literally was, I was like, do they still do that? Yeah. And they did and I got it. And I was like, you know what? It was right where it was supposed to do. Yeah, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was right there. That and they're chili.
Starting point is 00:50:13 They never miss with the baked potato and their chili. I can always go to them. And I got the chili baked, I got the chili baked potato. Oh, that's right. Baked potato was a good school lunch. Oh, we never have that at school, baked potato. And they would just have, like, all the stuff to put on top. We'll do them at the crib once every three months probably.
Starting point is 00:50:32 It's like an easy enough, just bake them and then put your stuff. I mean, easy enough dinner, you know? I can do it. I haven't had a baked potato. years. And like I saw, somebody got one in a restaurant I was at the other day, but they ordered after me. And I didn't have the stones. I was like, I got to get baked potatoes. To go take it out. Take it off of my friends. And I know the balls to go take it from them, but I wanted to.
Starting point is 00:50:53 70 year old mother's plate. Um, the, it just looked so good. And I was like, fuck yeah, baked potatoes, man. And even that, the most basic form of potatoes, wonderful. Yeah. mashed potatoes. I mean, in a real pinch, you can make a light socket out of them or whatever. Yeah, you can do experiments or whatever You can grow one out of another one or something like that You can throw them at a wood brown Do you guys ever do that with a cheese grater?
Starting point is 00:51:17 What? Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Tell you this. They don't go great when I do it. I like you. You gotta get the moisture.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Mine are soggy. Yeah, that's exactly. I'd throw that in air fryer. Yeah. Oh, yeah, cool. You can do that. You can shut up a potato and throw on the air fryer. Let me tell you this.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Air fryer is, it's almost like I'm sponsored. It is the best invention that's ever made. It's really huge. It's really just if you're, especially if you're, Especially if you're ever on the go and just trying to, like, meal prep and whatever, it'll change your life. Leftover fries, like if you have day old fries for whatever really, it turns them into fucking five-minute-old fries. I don't know anyone who doesn't like their air friar. I'll say that.
Starting point is 00:51:50 I don't know anyone who's ever. Huge win for humanity. After a while, you even stop cleaning it. It doesn't matter. I use the little, like, parchment paper or whatever. Yeah, because the bottom layer will get kind of. I don't, ours is nuts. And I still, like, what do I care?
Starting point is 00:52:06 It'll get you there. That's surprising. I think you should care, actually. Nah. Maybe it's like cast iron. It's like a microwave. You still clean cast iron. You're still clean cast iron.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Maybe I don't know if they're slapping class iron into the like mass-produced plastic thing. I'm saying you're seasoned your air fry. Right, right, right, right. It gets a little vibe going. Yeah. The terrois. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Airfire. This is my cast iron. There are many like it, but this is mine. This is mine. But yeah, potatoes, man. They just rule. I love a potato. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:39 This is a really funny first round. Yeah, it is. Oil, gold potato and Sean? I'm pretty sure this counts. Is water? Yeah. Yeah. Water comes out of the ground, right?
Starting point is 00:52:51 Yeah. It can. Ground water, like a well. Mostly, right? I mean, I know it also rains and everything, but like, does most of the water come out of the ground? Most of the water's in the ocean, my friend. Yeah, which came out of the, did that come out of the ground? No.
Starting point is 00:53:02 How did that get here? God. God. God. She. Dude, brother. It's a cycle. Fuck, yeah, brother.
Starting point is 00:53:08 It is a cycle. It's a vicious cycle. It's a vicious cycle. Hey, let's change the world, bro. The world over here. What are you guys doing? Hang it out. Let's go to intelligency and tell them what we just figured out.
Starting point is 00:53:23 Let's go do that. Let's walk into intelligency with our hands held high like this. What's up? Coffee's on you guys. Give us whichever copy you think we want. Coffee's on you guys. It's really funny. Walking it in anywhere inside.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Blank is on you guys. It's really funny. What can I get you? It wasn't on you? You paying? You offer it? I might do that at a bar after this. What can I get you?
Starting point is 00:53:45 Well, who's buying? Who's buying? I bet 33 taps you can get away with. Don't go to the Chachaw Club and try that. No, I'll just, well, I'll set a gun on the table. Who's buying? Don't try that at the goddamn dirty crow. Water.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Water. Yeah, water. So ground water. Groundwater. Yeah, groundwater. It seems pretty important. Aquifers, yeah. Yeah, well, not potato important, but pretty important.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Ian Carmel, potatoes are more important. than water. There's water in potatoes. There's not potatoes in water. Thank you. You get in the wrong groundwater, my friend. You've never had potato water? A water potato? What you got a goddamn water potatoes. Yeah, water potatoes. Can I get out? Some water potatoes moved in next door. What's that truck forgetting, forgetting the word for vodka at a bar? What's that, uh, potato water? Your highest, your highest potato water. Give me that one that makes my wife the least mad at me when I come Which one doesn't stink? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Vodka. Vaca. Hard to almost talk about water. It's such a big thing. Yeah. But potatoes are bigger. You're right. One of my favorite questions to ask is to rank the four carbohydrate groups,
Starting point is 00:54:54 like noodles, rice, potatoes, and bread. Where would you rank them? Noodles, potatoes, bread, rice. I feel like we're going too vague because some noodles are so much better than some bread and some bread. All right. Generally. Is croissant bread? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Like, are we talking like all pastry? All pastries. I'm putting sandwiches low. I think I'm doing bread, pasta, rice. Cake isn't bread. You can't call cake bread. It's bread. It's bread.
Starting point is 00:55:22 I don't. Cake is bread, dude. I feel like there is something. We're going to need more space on your tombstone for all these things that you're saying. Potatoes are more important than water. Cake is bread. Because like cinnamon roll. In this house, we believe.
Starting point is 00:55:36 In this house we believe. Yeah. cake is bread wait hold on potatoes more important than water in this house we believe in science you're gonna be the first like tombstone with color on it that's tight if like if all does if all like flower-based desserts
Starting point is 00:55:55 count as bread I mean more savory I mean like more savory foods right because I go noodle first potato second rice and then bread I think rice is last just because rice Because you hate Asian people Because I hate Asian people But it also seems like
Starting point is 00:56:11 Rice there's like There's like four or five varieties of rice That I can think of Off top of my head I'm sure there's more than that What if we're going without Churching it up at all So it's just like
Starting point is 00:56:22 A loaf of bread A potato Some noodles What I'm nice When I like the When I like that When I was When I hiked from Minneapolis to Portland
Starting point is 00:56:32 Okay Oh I still I don't eat potatoes Bread's probably the most important in that scenario. I don't like, I'll do sweet potatoes at home, but like potato potato, that's like the thing I eat. Bread and butter will hit. It's just so hard. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:56:46 And noodles and butter and rice and butter. Rice and soy sauce? Man. Well, potatoes and rice and soy sauce is fake. It's so. And then like, and then like, and sushi. And then like every time you make rice, the next day you make your own fried rice. That's always awesome.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Admittedly, I'm not, I feel like I'm not getting the best of the rice world. So I like when I put it at the bottom of my list. which I think I might. Do you not eat rice a lot? Not really. I like it with sushi. And here's my question. Sushi rice is different though, I feel like than like.
Starting point is 00:57:14 I like sticky rice. Like basmati or like Jasmine or whatever. And just to be clear, we're talking like Italian noodle, not like a pool noodle. I just want to be clear. No, that's a good. Pool noodles is already for you. We're talking to rigatone. You're stranded out in open water.
Starting point is 00:57:28 What do you want the most? What about Jerry Rice? Bread? Does he count for rice? Because he's the greatest wide receiver of all time. Jerry Rice is better than the band bread. That's 100. That's right.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Okay. Now we're working. And the spaghetti incident. Yeah. Yep, for sure. Yeah. Now, I was saying, like, noodle for me has to be number one. Yeah. It includes pasta and also all of the Asian noodles.
Starting point is 00:57:49 No, I think of Charmaine over fried rice every time. I'm thinking variety. I'm thinking what do you get the most out of with stuff? So it's like noodles, number one. Yeah. Bread is so big that I almost feel like putting at three or four is just like not right. It feels wrong. And then potatoes you get french.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I mean, maybe potatoes actually not as versatile as I'm thinking. I feel like bread's one or two. Breads last for me, though. And I love bread. I love bread. But then you're leaving sandwiches. Then you don't get sandwiches. You get,
Starting point is 00:58:14 we don't eat sandwiches nearly as much. Fresh bread and butter is, is amazing. Bread is a different, it's still a different type of thing than rice noodles and potatoes. Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:26 It encases the food. It comes before the meal. Like, I feel like we got to get bread out of this conversation. Yeah. Maybe we want to take bread out. Yeah. I agree, but all right.
Starting point is 00:58:37 So potatoes. This is why I love asking this question. This is better than the boobs thing at the bar. You should open with this. What size boobs do you like? I like them all. I like them all. Now, potatoes.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I like the boobs of the woman who is agreed to sleep with me. Of course. All right. Hey, just so you know, her boobs are way too big for you. I'm going to choke you out. Me and Spoon. Hey, man, today ain't your day. And that ain't your girl.
Starting point is 00:59:10 I'm sorry to break it to you. I know that we know each other. Yeah. All right. And your second pick? Dinosaur bones. Damn it. It's just dope, dude.
Starting point is 00:59:23 They just found a triceratops skull that weighs as much as like two school buses or something. Nice. It's insane. That's awesome. Triceratops were big as hell. Where did you find out about that? I just had a dream, dude. They're going to find it.
Starting point is 00:59:36 That Taylor Swift was pregnant. Both those two. You did not dream. No, my brother-in-law had that dream. Oh, right, right. And I thought it was a fact. Right. But yeah, dinosaur bones, man.
Starting point is 00:59:46 They're just... They're awesome. They're just so huge. It's just crazy. Like when you see a dinosaur like put together or whatever, like a scale of one. Chicago O'Hare. They got one of hair? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Really? Not the real bones. Well, right. Most of the bones you see in the museum aren't. They're castes. Right. Yeah. Yeah, they're in my basement.
Starting point is 01:00:05 I got the rules. That's not how. the dinosaurs aren't real conspiracies out there. Is that a conspiracy? Oh, yeah. A lot of people. I mean, it's not even a conspiracy, I guess, because it's just part of, like, creationism.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Oh, right. The dinosaurs aren't real. Yeah. Right. Or that they weren't, they weren't so far away or so long ago. Because the Earth is only 6,000 years old, so they must have coexisted with Jesus. And they were so big,
Starting point is 01:00:29 wherever they fit, the houses are too small, you know, all that stuff. Yeah. See, now I only, I don't know what is what? This is where you find out I'm a big conspiracy guy. But I don't know how old they were. I just know they were real. And I got to trust the people who tell me they were real. You know what?
Starting point is 01:00:41 I just always remember the trailer for Jurassic Park. So it's 65 million years ago. Which now is probably 65 million plus 30 years or something like that. 65 million and 30 years. That's your knowledge you drop when it's actually 65 million and 30 years ago now. Is Jurassic Park 30 years old? I think 94 or something like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Shit. Fuck. God. That was a good. Jeep. That was a good Jeep. Fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Would you go to a Jurassic Park? No. Would you? Yeah, I'm afraid I would. Yeah, I think I would do. I think I would do. I think so. I would tempt that.
Starting point is 01:01:18 I saw all the movies. Is it on an island? I guess it depends on what. It has to be an island. They got to be an island. If there's a T-Rex there, maybe I want it. Maybe if they're being sensible with it, I would go. If they were had, if they had just like the herbivores.
Starting point is 01:01:33 The friendly ones. the smiling ones. Wasn't it like Puerto Rico? Where was Jurassic? Yila Nubar or something? Yeah, Yala Nublar. Like, fake. What ocean was it supposed to be?
Starting point is 01:01:45 Probably Caribbean. I'm going to look it up. I'm going to look it up. America. Yeah. Because I think it was like off the coast of South America or something. By the way, Jurassic Park was 93. 93.
Starting point is 01:01:54 My birthday was 94. The Jurassic Park porn. My birthday. You had a Jurassic Park birthday? That's rad. That's right. What does it get? That's rad.
Starting point is 01:02:02 I had it like the year at 94, I think. Maybe it was 90th, whatever, but I was like 9-10. Yeah. It's Costa Rica. Costa Rica. Because those Jurassic Park toys had just come out. So I got a bunch of those as gifts. We had Jurassic Park themed cake.
Starting point is 01:02:14 I think it was the year after because I think we watched Jurassic Park that night on VHS. Pristine. That's pretty good. It was such a good kid's movie. Yeah. It still holds up. Because it wasn't like that scary, you know what I mean? It was scary enough.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Clever girl. Oh, I mean, when the hand, when it's like so awkward to him, like, it doesn't make sense that the hand would come down and then you realize the hand was. not attached to the guy anymore, but I remember that, like, freak the graphics. When he said the Velociraptor was going to eat that fat kid. And he did the, with a claw. Yeah, that was really scary.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Yeah. Oh, he, like, pops his button off or whatever. Well, you watched maybe a different movie. He goes all the way down. You watch Jurassic Park. No, you watched Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park. Jurassic?
Starting point is 01:02:57 Jurassic Park. Dinosaur bones are cool. They were finding them for. years and I guess they just didn't know because like the 18 like the 1800s is when like they were they're like oh there were dinosaurs here before yeah they pull out a dinosaur bone and they're like dude Xerxes only had one bone so they must have like they must have found bones when they were like digging other stuff like in the year 800 BC yeah I guess that's how you get like all the religion stuff yeah because like how do you explain this stuff giants dragons like a lot of that
Starting point is 01:03:30 stuff like well that was something thank god they killed it see now if If they would have went the dragons route, I would be sitting here believing in dragons. Interesting. So what you're saying here is they should have just kept down that path. Like dragons, these are dragons. Like dinosaurs, the bones we see. And in museums, they're like, and their wings were made out of like. How do I know they're dragons?
Starting point is 01:03:51 I'm telling you, let me ask you this. You go to an aquarium, you see an eel. Tell me that is not a dragon. That's true. I mean, it's, who am I to say it's not? I don't know why you. And also, you know, you guys know this about eels? This is like a real thing about eels apparently
Starting point is 01:04:04 Eels, like all the eels go to like one spot in the ocean to mate and like repopulate and then leave and like it's just been in the past like decade or so that like we've even located where it is or something like yeah eels are all go to one spot Eels are very weird yeah someone's like dude if you go here you will get late
Starting point is 01:04:24 I promise It's the cha-cha lounge This is where the eels do it Just some eel down on his luck bro if you just follow me Dude you'll be able to slip it in Somebody there is going to want to fuck you, I guarantee it. Man, megafauna, dude. Stuff used to be bigger, too.
Starting point is 01:04:41 So there used to be giant snakes and stuff. Of course they believed in dragons. Yeah. That big bird was the moa? Moa. Yeah. How big was a moa? It was like as big as a giraffe, but it was like a huge, huge.
Starting point is 01:04:55 And like they were like big, thick, strong legs. They would tear you apart, dude. You specifically, they did not like you. And they posted about it. They'd choke you out. They saw my girlfriend. They choked you out. They were 12 feet tall.
Starting point is 01:05:07 That's insane. And they weighed 500 pounds. Oh, man. I already don't like bird energy. Thanks too much. Think about the newspaper you got to get for that. They even still do that? I haven't met somebody with a bird pet in.
Starting point is 01:05:23 I don't know who has birds anymore. Yeah, do people still have birds? My buddy had a bird growing up. And from day one, I was like, this is ridiculous. They had a cockatill. Cockatill. cockatiel and all it did was squawk and they'd put a sheet on it that was it it seems like a bad life for that bird it's such a tiny little cage just horrible you know
Starting point is 01:05:43 there's parents in L.A um they're in my neighborhood all the time they're from or there's a couple different like theories but one of the theories is that there just be a bush gardens in Van Nuys and it closed in like 1970s and I think that they just they just literally were like bye yeah yeah guys good luck dude Yeah, we're all kind of out on the raft right now. Yeah. There used to be a thing called Monkey Island at Hollywood and Highland. That was just like, this is like in the 40s to 50s, just hundreds of monkeys were just in this enclosure thing and in the middle of Hollywood.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Yeah. Crazy. Anyway, that's the animal related. They got reptile gardens that's out of Dakota where there's just snakes everywhere. It's like a path. You can go in this big, like, dome, but just snakes. Loose? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:30 They'll go everywhere. They're like all non-venomous, non-concential. restricting snakes, but they're still, they look scary. Is the idea you bring your kids? Yeah, to that? Yeah, I went when I was, but I mean, still, there's like... Do they ever, like, at night, do you like laser snake? Laser up top of them?
Starting point is 01:06:43 Just put one venomous snake in there. Like Pink Floyd? I have a DJ. That would be tight. There's one venomous snake in here. Yeah. Good luck. That shit, that old L.A. stuff is so interesting to me.
Starting point is 01:06:56 It's just a while. I mean, it's the Wild West until, like, the 80s. Yeah. Until, like, stuff like, kind of got buttoned down. It's crazy. We even Doug talking about how Warner Brothers used to be right in town. I didn't know that. I guess it still is right in Burbank, so it's right in a town.
Starting point is 01:07:09 Doug was also saying if you see the police, Warner Brothers. I know you love it. I wasn't going to step on it. I didn't either. I wasn't going to step on it. I know you love it. It's a perfect one. I remember specifically the first time I saw it at the beach and I was just like, that's good.
Starting point is 01:07:30 Was it a towel or like a shirt? It was a t-shirt. T-shirt. Yeah. I think it was in L.A. Because the Oregon Coast does not have a huge demographic of people who would buy if you see the police. Warner.
Starting point is 01:07:42 In Astoria? In a story. That's Florida's like entire economy. I remember I remember. Bad bidsches and thing one thing two shirts. Yeah, yeah. Big Johnson T-shirts for sure. Female body inspector.
Starting point is 01:07:55 Oh, yeah. Bacon. Armed and hammered. Absolutely. Mountain doomy. It's not a bald spot. It's the solar panel for insects. I got what I found in St. Augustine last time I was home that it just said beer inspector.
Starting point is 01:08:06 I inspect your beer. And I was like, yeah, all right. Yeah, that's good. It looked like a formal, like, law enforcement thing. I was like, yeah, all right, I'm good at that. Did you get it? Beer inspector. I inspect your beer.
Starting point is 01:08:21 Just the case it wasn't clear from beer inspector. Just if you need to look, you're too drunk to know, it means I get to respect your beer. It's a beautiful culture. Let me get that. Look at my shirt. You just grab it. They're like, no, no, look at the shirt.
Starting point is 01:08:34 It's cool. Don't worry about it. Dinosaur bones. I'm glad that went over so well. It was a nerve. I was a nervy about it. I was going to take it with my next pick. If you didn't.
Starting point is 01:08:44 I can't, dude. So I'm going to take something better, probably. Water's also gone, even though potatoes get us more. Well, listen. They do. I'd rather have potatoes than water most of the time. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Really? Probably. Under most circumstances, we're at a restaurant. Hey, would you like some water or would you like a plate of French fries? I don't eat potatoes that much. Give me water in a nice plate of French fries to wash it down.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Yeah. Glass of French fries. I'm going to take the Mighty Redwood. Oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah. Comes from the ground. It really is. I know where they come from.
Starting point is 01:09:19 They come from the ground. It's actually Zeus throwing them down trying to hit us. If you have it, if you're listening to this and you have not seen the Mighty Redwood in person, you got to come out and see it. It's true. Yellowstone. Or no, redwoods are everywhere, huh? Like everywhere on the coast.
Starting point is 01:09:35 California and then southern Oregon a little. The redwood forest. It's like the Sierra Nevada's are the... Okay. We have them in Portland, right? There might be like... Like St. John's area, there's like... There might be like a few of them, but they're not the mighty Redwoods.
Starting point is 01:09:46 You know what I mean? The ones you could drive a car through. Yeah. They're astonishing. You know, really, that whole area of the country is like really beautiful in a way that makes you feel small and I think an important way. Also very, like, last time I was up near there was in what's it, Arcadia.
Starting point is 01:10:02 Arcadia, yeah. And it's like you're in fucking Jurassic Park. Yeah, it is nuts. It feels so old. The ferns are like gigantic. Like everything's huge. And everything's kind of wet always. Oh, it's a rainforest.
Starting point is 01:10:14 You're in like a rainforest. Yeah, it's always wet. Or the pine cone. There's a picture. I had a pine cone that's like bigger than a football. Yeah, up there. Could that be the breakup? Can that be it?
Starting point is 01:10:29 Really, it's my fault for like, thinking there might be more. That's not on you. That was a complete story. Sometimes. And it is interesting. Sometimes I say bad stuff. I'm like,
Starting point is 01:10:37 it doesn't all have to be funny. It's just friends talking sometimes. It wasn't bad. It was fine. It was like, that is interesting. That's a big pine cone. But yeah,
Starting point is 01:10:43 you're also right, because it's not that they're just big. They're like some of the oldest organisms. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. They're like they predate the United States as a like country.
Starting point is 01:10:53 You know like a lot of those. Like before anyone was here or anything. Yeah, humans. It's old tree shit is like really, really, Well, did you watch them where that documentary was where it's like It was something about maybe it was one of those nature ones though
Starting point is 01:11:05 The one on HBO But with like it's like the mushrooms and the the fungi and the Root systems underneath it's like they're communicating Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah there's like mushrooms that help the trees communicate Yeah yeah wild Yeah that stuff is crazy Well mushrooms help us all communicate you know Come on right
Starting point is 01:11:23 Come on we're saying picks guys Has this is going to bar if you can't handle how deep this is getting The biggest organism on Earth is a Burt, a bunch of aspen trees? What is it? What's an aspen? That's different than a red one.
Starting point is 01:11:36 They're all clones. They're all clones of the same. So it's like some forest range. Oh, wait, the biggest organism on Earth is a fungus in Oregon. In Oregon's Malhear forest. Crazy. And then a clutch of aspen trees.
Starting point is 01:11:49 That's where the Malhear Patriots were, right? What's that? That whole, like, Branch Davidian type thing that... Whatever you get up to when we're not recording, dude. States secessions You know what I'm talking about? There was that that militia that formed
Starting point is 01:12:04 in the middle of Oregon I do know what you're talking about. I do know what you're talking about you might be right you might be right. They might be giants. They might be giants, dude.
Starting point is 01:12:10 Trying to find this picture of the pine cone here. Is that what you're doing? Yes. Trying. A lot of pictures of young me and Ian on here, I'll tell you that.
Starting point is 01:12:20 A lot of stuff I forgot is on my Instagram. There's a gun right there. I can't find it. Anyway. We believe you. Yeah. Cool. It was a big pine cone, dude.
Starting point is 01:12:29 Like, if you took a football and cut another football in half, and then attached that to that other football. You measure most things in regards to football size, right? Yeah, it's going to tell how many footballs from here. I'll just take like an eighth of a football. Like, I'm not, I'm trying not to have any shoulder right now. It's a long drive. That's like 500,000 footballs. A lot of good measurements of things in time coming out on this episode.
Starting point is 01:12:50 I don't know what size bed I want. How many footballs can get in a queen? Four footballs tall, eight footballs long. as a as a as a as a as a as a extra point that's you know that matters when you listen to the song brickhouse and he says 36 2436 in your head you're like football and a half football she's got a football leg dude it's crazy uh Alan tougher your second pick um okay my second pick is going to be trying to put together a team here the undead oh yes oh yeah damn that's a good thing I was wondering if that was going to count that's a great one Yeah. Yeah. One day they'll rise. They really do.
Starting point is 01:13:31 When they do, holy buckets. Yeah. I'm not excited. And even just, not even just the undead, but I guess also encompassing like, you know, what's that thing where it's, I guess this doesn't count because it's the, the lake. But like when like they find all these dead mob pits. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:46 And stuff like, yeah. Yeah. So just like, yeah, any of that stuff. Does the other stuff come out too, like dead tigers and dinosaurs? Like, why not? Why has it just got to be humans? Well, there are diseases that can affect only humans. And I think that's usually how they justifies.
Starting point is 01:13:59 Oh, okay, because like this, the plague doesn't kill tigers or whatever. Right. Only kills people. Did we? So, like, zombie. You know, he only kills tigers. People. You're right.
Starting point is 01:14:08 People. You're right. We're bummers. You don't kills people. Zombies, dude. Circle of life. Zombie, like, originally was like a, like a, like a magic thing, right? Like, it was originally, like, you would use magic to summon the dead.
Starting point is 01:14:23 Yeah, probably. And at some point, we were like, it's a disease. or it's like a fungus in what's the last of us now, too. Let's go back to magic. Go to magic. Frankenstein was, well, I mean, the movies were always like bolt of lightning. Science. Well, that's science.
Starting point is 01:14:39 Science. That's not, that's science. A new Frankenstein coming out with Oscar Isaac. Does he play from? Jewish lightning. Jewish lightning. Frank N. Stein. Attorney at law.
Starting point is 01:14:54 Jewish lightning. I've been waiting to use it since you used it yesterday. Yeah. Jewish lightning That's just drag car It's a sensible Go to burn it up the corner Jewish lightning
Starting point is 01:15:11 Jewish lightning That's good That'd be fun to just do the entire Jewish grease Yeah That was awesome There's a summer camp somewhere That's for sure done it It doesn't change that much
Starting point is 01:15:26 I don't think No, it's kind of the same story. You can still get a Hickey from Kinnikowicz from Kinnikowicz? Oh, you got a Kinnish from Kinnikkim? A Kinnish, yeah, a Kinnish from, yeah. Benash, that's potatoes too, right? Kinnish is for sure potatoes. That's a good, that's a good dish right now.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Have you had a Kinnish? I don't think so. Oh, they're so good. Yeah, really good. You own a Shimmels? What's a Kinnish? I think I've had it. What's a Kinnish?
Starting point is 01:15:49 It's like a potato-pockety sort of. You have the gravy. Yeah. I think I had some in Seattle not that long ago. You may have? you mave with the Scalar brothers
Starting point is 01:15:58 Oh that's They got a Kinnish spot I'm pretty sure they like up there That's a kid They're a couple of a
Starting point is 01:16:04 Kanishi type guys Whoa Hey Hey I didn't say it Randy Jason It wasn't me I said I know yeah
Starting point is 01:16:13 That's Conishman myself David time for your second and third picks Okay second pick
Starting point is 01:16:19 I am going with Can I do treasure yeah yeah all right yeah buried treasure buried treasure all right yeah that's good that's real good that's good that's good so you're an oil and buried treasure yeah okay so you're a money play I'm also building the team yeah yeah yeah so we had a buddy that used to lie all the time one of his lies he said that his brother buried like $20,000 in T South Dakota and
Starting point is 01:16:46 forgot where it was buried so he just lost I think that's just the movie Fargo that's just Fargo a lot lower a lot lower dollar count but yeah he would see spin that to us at lunch and we're like, okay, dude. Yeah, I think the bad thing about burying money is it kind of erode, like, it's not good to bury money. Well, not if it's in a big wooden chest and not if it's de blooms. That's what I think of it is treasure.
Starting point is 01:17:07 Not charlaces, de blooms. Not chalises, de blooms. Barriers, rubies, yeah. Opels. Emeralds. You ever buried treasure? No, never.
Starting point is 01:17:17 I don't, I've never had treasure to bury, I feel like. I think you buried a little treasure before you got you. I wish that was the case. If you just called it that, I just went buried some treasure last night. Balls deep and some treasure. I don't. Is there a lot of buried treasure? I feel like they sold it to us as a kid.
Starting point is 01:17:36 It's very quicksand to me. Yeah, we thought quicksand would be everywhere growing up. Yeah. It's very charismatic, though, the idea of buried treasure. Because anybody can get it. I just watched National Treasure on a plane the other day. Good plane movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Man, they really make you believe. There was a guy recently, this is, I think, 2012, something like. like that. A guy did put a bunch of treasure somewhere, I think in the Rockies or somewhere and it was like someone finally founded them but I think it was like a multi-year like people
Starting point is 01:18:07 had some hints and like where it was and it can't be easy to find. No. Got to make it hard. Yeah and it was like not on any real path or anything but eventually someone did find it but and I think it was like the first step of it was like a poem that like talked about different landmarks
Starting point is 01:18:23 that it could probably be in something like. He, like, spun a yarn. It's kind of like an ARG or whatever you want to call it. Yeah. What's an ARG? I forget what it stands for, but it's like augmented reality game or something like that. It's like a lot of times you'll see it for like a weird marketing campaign. Alternate reality game.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Alternate reality game. Oh, fun. Where it's like, you know, it's like you buy it to these rules and it's kind of a maybe larping adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. That sounds fun. Right.
Starting point is 01:18:53 Another Tinder profile. I think like maybe the buried treasure thing because like when they find they'll find like coins and stuff because like there weren't banks so like Roman you would find like Roman coins and like a clatch is that the right word? Is that what a clatch is?
Starting point is 01:19:07 Because they would just bury them and they'd be like remember where that's buried because I'm going to go into a situation where I don't want to have all my gold on it. Much like a weed pipe before you go to Canada or something. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to stash it. I'm going to come back here. Just remember where that is.
Starting point is 01:19:20 My arby's 47. We, a buddy of ours, found a pipe, he stashed before he went to Canada and we came back, we're like, you're never going to find it, and he found it. It was at like some hotel parking lot, way in the bushes. He wasn't specific when he buried it either. I remember him just like kind of tossing it
Starting point is 01:19:36 and still found it. It was nuts. Yeah, it was awesome. I was very excited. No, you got to get a scratcher that thing. Yeah, well, and then even, I mean, you could also say like, didn't back in the Depression if you were like putting money in coffee cans or whatever and in their yards. Yeah. No, I think there's a lot more out there than we know.
Starting point is 01:19:52 It would be like if you just go dig up every yard, You're going to find a bunch of stuff. I mean, the metal detectors, that's a thing for a reason, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder what they're pulling in. I think it would be fun because worst case scenario, you're going for a walk on the beach. Yeah, what's the downside?
Starting point is 01:20:06 Yeah, it's pretty good. Either way. They're never dressed like they want to be at the beach. That's always the bummer where I'm like... The metal detector people? Yeah, they're on the sun so long. They have those big hats, right? Well, the big hat's fine, but they're always dressed like a landscaper or something.
Starting point is 01:20:19 Put some shorts on. You don't understand the life at all. The fact that you're criticizing it right now is disgusting. Easy potato boy Okay Coming from an Irish But And you're a third pick
Starting point is 01:20:36 Third pick Third pick I am going to go I mean We're doing pretty This is pretty Diamonds Oh yeah
Starting point is 01:20:46 Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Souls of her shoes She had them there Not the most fun Concert I went to
Starting point is 01:20:52 in the last year. I actually heard specifically that show was like, yeah, it was okay. I went to the one in San, I took my mom to the one in San Francisco. Yeah, it was. It was bad? He doesn't listen. He, so he did, he opened up with the new stuff, which, you know, that's not what I want to hear. No, he, I will say.
Starting point is 01:21:12 I mean, you know, he did, like, listen, the boxers, it's, there was. Were the hits hitting? But it wasn't, because, you know, he's one of those guys who doesn't like to do it. And he kind of, like, changes the arrangement. Oh, I hate like Bob Dylan. Yeah, so it was sort of like, it was all right. My mom had a good time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:28 Her friend had a good time. I was like... Does he do Beatles songs? He's talking about Paul Simon. Oh, I thought we said Paul McCartney. Sorry, Paul Simon. Does Paul Simon do Beatles songs? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:39 That would have been crazy. Paul Simon probably would have had a better time doing Beatles songs. Yeah, I mean, he's, it's cool. It was cool. It was a living legend or whatever, but it was, yeah, it wasn't amazing. He, that's a bummer. Yeah, I would have. It's a moment.
Starting point is 01:21:54 There's not like birthday. Well, no, that's awesome. It's awesome. But you want him to like, you know, like, we want to hear. And here's art. Yeah. Yeah, that would have been crazy. Art would have fucking sold it.
Starting point is 01:22:04 Yeah. If you got art out there, you don't leave one guy like, does he play like Parsley-Sadry in time, like stuff like that? He did parts of stuff. It was like, he did a little bit of stuff you wanted to hear, but it is fine. I will say some of those later Paul Simon albums are good, though. Yeah. Like some of his stuff that's like post.
Starting point is 01:22:22 His big hits and everything, that's the breakout. That's it right there. That's the breakout. Yeah, that album, big, big pine cone. He's just kind of exploring me. He didn't have the picture on the front because he couldn't find the picture. He's got a picture of a gun from my Instagram. Trust me in quotes.
Starting point is 01:22:44 Diamonds, they're good. Yeah. Yeah. You recently bought a diamond. What? Didn't you? Oh, yeah. He's lying.
Starting point is 01:22:52 They're not. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the ring. For your effianced. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First diamond I've ever bought, probably only one I'm ever going to buy. Yeah, I don't really have any plans. I got no, no, no, you'll buy more diamonds.
Starting point is 01:23:05 You'd like to think that the engagement ring is the last diamond you'll buy. Yeah, don't they get another ring, too? Well, they get a wedding ring, but that's usually just a band. I didn't know that. That, to me, is ridiculous. You can't wear your engagement ring everywhere because it's a big-ass diamond. I don't, so I talk about it. I'm like, I wouldn't bother me one bit
Starting point is 01:23:23 if Laura never wore her actual diamond ring. To me, it seemed so cumbersome like it would get caught on all my sleeves. I don't know. I wouldn't wear it. His diamond keeps getting caught in my sleeves. That's why you wear a wedding band. That's why your button ups ripped.
Starting point is 01:23:36 That's why I got a divorce. It didn't work out. Yeah, but I would never put the diamond part on. I'd just wear the wedding band. So why can't that just be the ring? I'm talking about. Oh. Because they'd like to feel special
Starting point is 01:23:51 and they want the present. All right. Yeah. I think that's what it is. Yeah. And they want other people to see their ring. Yeah, it seems to be a lot of showing other people. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:01 It's for fancy events. You put on the diamond, you know? I suppose, like me and my jeans. Yeah, you and your jeans, dude. Yeah. That's why I have diamonds all over my jeans. It's like when you bring one of your nice, my wedding jeans. One of your nicer skateboard.
Starting point is 01:24:13 Diamonds in the seams of his jeans. People say it's crazy. If you just put on jeans with diamonds, like all. over them. Would it be the first time? Oh, yeah. Come That happens in Elizabeth, for sure. It'd be so like all over them. Rinesstoneed up jeans? You never seen that? Not just, I'm talking everywhere. Not just the pockets. I'm saying like diamonds on your jeans.
Starting point is 01:24:33 Like for real. Like down on the front, down to the foot. Like the whole thing. He was talking for real like diamonds on all of his jeans. I think we got something here. Yeah. Something. Not a hit necessarily. Something. No, I guess you mean blood diamonds.
Starting point is 01:24:50 because they make the ones in the lab now. Yeah, they make lab diamonds. Lab diamonds is the way to go. Yeah. But they're underground labs. What are they made out of? Same stuff, carbon. Really?
Starting point is 01:25:01 There's only one way to make a diamond, but they can compress it now. I believe. I didn't know this. They do this now with Scotch. Like they basically found like the way to like really age things through like UV light or something like that. Oh, wow. There's one downtown I think that does it. They just put it on the beach with a metal detector.
Starting point is 01:25:19 you can have like what would be like a 30 year age scotch and it's like to them like a year or two or something that's amazing that's fine with me I've totally fine with yeah 100% there is something I mean like about the like the real diamonds and the age scotch like the lab diamonds obviously you can be guaranteed that they're not like
Starting point is 01:25:40 morally questionable but there's something cool about knowing that it came out of the earth yeah I'm not into that There is something cool about knowing that Scotch was actually in a barrel for 15 years. That's what I meant to say. Well, especially with the scotch thing too because it's like, it's the peat.
Starting point is 01:25:58 It is the ground. Yeah. Like, that's what you want to get. Yeah. Do you like scotch? Oh, yeah. Scotch is my favorite. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:07 Diamonds is a top tier precious metal aren't even that old, right? Well, it's not a metal. It's a stone. Or is a top tier. It's like a valuable thing? Yeah, I don't think it's like, right? They said the diamond industry.
Starting point is 01:26:17 It's not, it's, it's, it's, and also it's, it's, uh, uh, the scarcity is artificial. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I know that as well. Yeah. By the De Beers company or whatever, just like control. Well, now we're getting into some stuff I maybe don't want to. Oh, yeah. Put out.
Starting point is 01:26:34 Hold on De Beers, Judaism. Brother, you're going to find a subreddit, that's for sure. Debeer's Judaism. When you were talking about, okay. I was going to say I had a Lafitte Rothschild from 82 when I was in English. So now you're just bringing up any Jewish, though. Because our friend is a Rothschild. I know you've heard of the Rothschild.
Starting point is 01:26:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rick, Rick Rothschild. I had an 84 on my 21st birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what was cool about it was like taking it out of the case, that's like, oh, this is from 12 years before I was born. Yeah. Yeah, that's exciting.
Starting point is 01:27:17 And the label kind of falling off of it because it was that old. Like that's what made it taste good. To be fair, you can do that with pogs too. Last time I was... Spell it. You're young. Yeah. something to you if you really did have
Starting point is 01:27:48 a mad dog from 22 years ago mad dog is Jewish right Mad dog yeah yeah yeah mad dog It says from Manashevitz dog oh they actually are it's Morgan David yeah yeah yeah yeah Wait actually yeah no way hold on It's a mad dog is a yeah the MD
Starting point is 01:28:06 Yeah so all right We're nice Oh yeah I have honestly never seen a Jewish guy drink bad dog How often have you been to the place where we would? I don't even know where that is to be honest. He's inside a synagogue. Deep Brooklyn.
Starting point is 01:28:29 That's what minions are. Or us in the parking lot of stories, maybe. That's another place. I had no idea. This is crazy. Yeah. Bogan David. There's a subreddit for that, too.
Starting point is 01:28:39 I bet there is. Alan, time for your third pick. Okay, I'm going to go with... You need them on the team, groundhogs. Yeah, I had them on my list for sure. Oh, yeah. Bigger than you think. Bigger than you think.
Starting point is 01:28:53 Yeah. Like two footballs. And I was revisiting and I'm like, oh, yeah, groundhogs are woodchucks. Is that right? When you say woodchuck, a woodchuck is a groundhog, yeah. I didn't know that. Oh, I didn't know that. What?
Starting point is 01:29:04 I thought of... I guess I never knew what a woodchuck is. I was thought of a woodpecker. Well, and also Woodchuk, to me, I'm like, that seems more beaver, right? Yeah. That's what it seems like. I guess I never, I just, I never even thought about it. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:29:18 I've never seen a ground hog. You never seen one? I saw one the other week in Michigan. You see a lot of merry dogs. Never seen one in my life. We saw one in Michigan. I didn't know what it was. It was fucking awesome.
Starting point is 01:29:27 I follow one on Instagram. Just scurrying. There you go. Yeah, chunk the groundhog. Oh. He gets right up to the camera and eat stuff and he's like, ha, ha, ha, ma'am. Well, they're not around here, right?
Starting point is 01:29:37 Porcupines eat like that, too. I don't think they're an L.A. creature, no. Skunks. Scunks. I didn't know that until I moved here. I mean, I'd never seen a skunk in my life. California's skunk country. Probably 20 my four years living in Gwendo.
Starting point is 01:29:49 Multiple just crawling into the sewer. Yeah. You see him in San Francisco all the time, too. Yeah. We had a big one in our yard the other night. Skulks? Yeah. I didn't kill it, but I told you what our neighbor said, right?
Starting point is 01:30:00 I was out talking to him and he's like, yeah, we got that skunk back here. I'd have blown that thing's brains out if it wasn't for your daughter. Oh, my God. He's a real nice guy, but he just, he was so blunt, where he's like, yeah, I would have shot it. He's still using a gun in a neighborhood. Well, he didn't because of my daughter, thank God. Oh, thank God for your daughter. I can't imagine coming outside like, Doug.
Starting point is 01:30:19 What time of the day was that? Midday, I would say. Okay. It's not the skunks fault. Leave the skunk, you know? He did. Tell him. Get him on the horn.
Starting point is 01:30:28 The skunk sprayed his dog, and he was salty about his dog's a prick. That is the thing that's like, it's so annoying when you have to deal with it. You know what I learned is they can't just spray when. whenever they want to. They build it. They need some nice film to get them in the moon candle. Maybe a foot massage will get you there. What are they actually?
Starting point is 01:30:51 What's the real fact? They can't. So it's not where they don't have like infinite stink they can spray out. They got to build it up. So like they won't just spray you just because it's cloudy. So they do no, not November basically. Yeah. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:31:03 People do that? Yeah. Have you not heard of this? No. You never heard about that? No. That's so stupid. Why would you do that?
Starting point is 01:31:11 Why do you think November always sucks? Yeah, it's awful. To make Christmas rule, is that why? My Thanksgiving's so excited. You're nearly there, gentlemen. Imagine having sex with all this food. Wouldn't that be crazy? Yeah, I'm horny.
Starting point is 01:31:24 I don't know why they do it. Why does that because it's there, I guess. Yeah, but that's like, that's different than like Movember. Or Taco Tuesday? Not mutting is not like that. Let's grow the mustache. Mustache in November. But like, if you don't nut, that's not help.
Starting point is 01:31:36 It's good to do it. Releases in Do it. and everything, right? Hey, it feels good to me. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I don't got to call anybody. Showing some x-phrase. Listen, I'm not even a doctor.
Starting point is 01:31:51 It feels good than that. You did break your arm. Why don't you go jack up? Oh, you want to? Use the other arm. Call me in the morning. Use your broken arm. Jerk off twice.
Starting point is 01:31:59 That's a struggle. Lame boy and wet willy right there. Groundhog is an excellent pick, and we're going to be right back with my third pick after this short break. This episode of all, fantasy, everything, is brought to you by Draft King's Pick Six. Now, basketball started, started the other. We don't need to talk about the Blazers season opener, but I'm just saying basketball started.
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Starting point is 01:33:30 One per new customer. Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable pick-six bonus picks that expire in 14 days. Limited time offer. See terms at pick-6. This episode of All Fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Uncommon Goods. The countdown is on. Christmas is coming up. It's officially here. You've got to get shopping uncommon goods. Essentially, they're going to take the stress out of all of that shopping and all that stress that comes with trying to find unique gifts for people because they have thousands of unique high-quality
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Starting point is 01:35:54 my third pick and the things that come out of the ground, All Fantasy Everything, Draft. I'm going to take, because this one was crazy, the bodies of the Easter Island statues. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Remember when they like, they were like, hey, we should dig under these things. And they're like, they have bodies? That is crazy. They thought they were just heads sticking out of the ground.
Starting point is 01:36:15 And if you keep going. That's what those are. Yeah. Really? Yes. We didn't know there were bodies. No. When did that happen?
Starting point is 01:36:22 I don't know, but I feel like it was in my adult life. So we're talking like 90s? I'm 28. So. It's so funny because you're clearly not, you're weathered dickhead. I'm a weathered dickhead. No, you're beautiful. You look like you've been deep sea fishing.
Starting point is 01:36:37 Don't say anything about my red face. Don't say anything about my red face. Don't come me ready. Don't come me ready. Don't you do it. Already over here. What did you? Ride over here on a bicycle?
Starting point is 01:36:50 That was a lift. It was a lift with a UV lamp in the back. Into a headwind? The way your skin. There's a Mustang with a thumbprint outside door handle. I've never seen one of those. You know how the Tesla is? You got to like thumbprint to get out or whatever.
Starting point is 01:37:03 Yeah. This you had to like. Was it one of the, those electric mustangs, the new things? Okay. Brand new electric Mustang. And I got in, he's like, you're like a savant, dude. You just figured it right out.
Starting point is 01:37:12 He just knew it. Well, there's no handle in a thing with the thumb on it. Dude, can you imagine being like kind of blackout drunk and having to get into the, I've had it like, getting out of a few of those Uber's where I'm just getting my phone on. I'm like, can you just do it? Yeah. I am in the back of the town. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:37:26 I'll be admitted. I've taken. It's pretty easy with the thumb now. But when that was new. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. It's because you can't press it with your pointer. it's got to be your thumb and then the door just cracks open and then you have to like push it open
Starting point is 01:37:38 that's one of those hey pretty stupid we don't need this this is stupid no we didn't need to fix the door yeah the door was great yeah it was a solid technology i never wanted it to be just a thumbprint you couldn't hack the door handle back in the day it could just work now can you can you make it so it's only your thumbprint can you like switch back and forth or is it just a thought i hope not because you shouldn't be able to make the back of your car a prison if you should right If you're an Uber driver As soon as I decide You can get out
Starting point is 01:38:09 As soon as I decide you can get out That's when you get out The first time I ever took a Tesla Where I had to like get into it Was I did this thing called cooking on high on Netflix And they It was like a weed A weed cooking show
Starting point is 01:38:23 So I had just eaten food with weed in it So I was very very high And then like the car comes to take me back home And it was like 30 minutes before something And I literally, I was like, I had to go around the time and be like, I don't know how to get into this car. Like, I was so high. I was just like, help. I was like, whoa, okay.
Starting point is 01:38:43 The future's picking me on. Yeah, they're fucking, though you are a waymo guy, right? You're like, so cheap. Is it really? It's way cheaper. Oh, really? It's way cheaper. Okay.
Starting point is 01:38:57 Okay, good to know. And they're not, I've taken a few. 10, 15 bucks cheaper. Okay. It's crazy. I've taken a couple with David. it can be you can just play your meet we were playing Tupac as loud as it
Starting point is 01:39:07 That's cool Yeah that is cool It was all right Hugging the front Putting him on fake headlocks Run the light I said Okay I was in a Waymo Two nights ago with my friend
Starting point is 01:39:17 After you saw Shibuzi Before I saw Shibuzi She wanted to sit in the front And so she sat in that driver seat And then it like connected us To customer support Because you're not supposed to do that See I was wondering if you could or not
Starting point is 01:39:30 We had this talk Because I like You can't There's room to sit there. And we, yeah, but we felt really bad about ourselves because they were like, please get out of that. So you both sat in the front?
Starting point is 01:39:39 No, no, no, she sat in the front. Wait, whoa. But you can sit in the front. You can sit passenger side. That feels psycho to me, though. But it was cool because, like, I have friends. They just, like, put your backpack with a football, like a football face, you know.
Starting point is 01:39:54 Football, sure. You love footballs, dude. We're recording on a Sunday. Yeah, it is. Pigskin, baby. Yeah, dude. The oblique sphere. I feel like when I talk
Starting point is 01:40:07 it just really grinds things to a halt and I don't know what it is about me what am I do Isaac what is it? Nothing no I do that sometimes too you do okay good yeah yeah happens all of us wait do you do it we should just make a breakout that's like all the dumb shit with no with zero left yeah all of our misses like I'm gonna break the internet
Starting point is 01:40:27 do people still say that yeah yeah well they do again now because of this because of this because we broke the internet with it. Some people still say it. It's one of those where you can't, what are you going to say? You hear someone say it and you can't be like, don't say a dumb shit like that, but you can't. You'd be rude. You'd be uncouth. When you say someone, you mean.
Starting point is 01:40:46 Isaac, bring us back. I'm winning. Winning! Tiger Blood. My amaze balls, dude. That's such a buck one. First job was at Chelsea lately. Right when that went right when Tiger Blood and everything was popping off and like you could not
Starting point is 01:41:05 they tried to I didn't but the other writers who had been there forever were like because when you're in like a late night room for long enough whatever is like trending you will just like fucking strip all the parts out of it as much as you can because it's like easy laughs and it was like everything
Starting point is 01:41:21 was like tiger blood and winning it was crazy you know what I heard about workaholics is they had a board with all of the trending things and they wouldn't say them not trying to they would do it was the comedy trash fire human dumpster fire, like garbage person or like, they would just put them
Starting point is 01:41:37 all down and be like, we're not. Trash ones. Huh? I'm just saying like popular like in the stand up in my mouth a little bit. Yeah. That's it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Man, I got sick of that. Yeah. Made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. For real. All the. Yeah. That's funny. You remember
Starting point is 01:41:52 that one like all the. He ate all the sandwiches or whatever it was. All the sandwiches. Yeah. Remember. All the birds. All the birds were outside my window this morning. Here's the thing. You know what I mean? Like most people aren't comedians. Well, and also, I feel like such an arrogant dickhead. Most comedians are actually.
Starting point is 01:42:06 Most comedians are actually. In fact, some of the most popular comedians aren't comedians. I also, yeah, I do that. Like, who am I? Who am I to say any of this? I mean, amongst ourselves, obviously we should, but it's like, I have to remind myself sometimes when someone's like, like last night I had all the croissants, you know, like all the Korean barbecue.
Starting point is 01:42:25 And it's like, you're not hurting anybody. It's just barbecue to us. It's annoying. Ha! Ha! Ha! ha! He whispers. Ha!
Starting point is 01:42:33 You have to say the Korean part. I do have to say the Korean part. I'm from Oregon. Beaverton, heavily Korean neighborhood. Yeah. God, I can't. Oh, you don't have to tell me. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:42:47 Trust me, I was upset about it too. It was even when I was growing up, I think it's even more Korean now, but when I was growing up, it was still hella Korean. Hella Korean. All right, should we come back in? We're back, right? Oh, are we? Yeah. Right when David brought us in with the maze balls or whatever.
Starting point is 01:43:00 Sure, for sure. Okay. Sean, time for your note. Is it? Yes, because I took the bodies of Easter Island statues. I feel like we didn't get to talk about that. I'm sorry. Look, no, please.
Starting point is 01:43:09 Dig down. Like, take a look. They're amazing. It's crazy. They got little bodies. I don't feel like I've seen. They don't know who did it, right? That's the thing.
Starting point is 01:43:17 I'm like, what was the, is it manifesting like one day we're going to have really big heads or something? Like, what? I don't really know. Are we getting bigger again? Well, because people got smaller. Are people getting bigger again? When do people get smaller? I don't know what.
Starting point is 01:43:33 We've been getting smaller for hundreds of years. No, we've been getting bigger. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So we're staying getting bigger. Oh, fuck, that really got me. Nutrition's really good now, so people are getting bigger.
Starting point is 01:43:47 People used to be. Oh, yeah, that's a little, dude. Okay. Little, little. Napoleon. Yeah. You know. Trummer boy.
Starting point is 01:43:54 Apparently Napoleon was not. He was of average. He was a big. He was all British propaganda. Yeah. Because he, A, he like had gigantic body. guards because you would and then they like they were like let's make the british propaganda was like we're going to draw them small because it'll piss him off yeah yeah but he was like normal
Starting point is 01:44:11 height yeah the french really been getting it from all sides all sides forever yeah yeah fucking surrender monkeys they got invaded by the nazus yeah yeah the mangenau line it failed Sean I know that all right third and fourth picks um going lava yeah I was on my best a great hot pick I didn't even think about that. Dang. Pretty buck, dude. Don't touch the floor. Pretty buck.
Starting point is 01:44:36 I'd like to see it. I would love, don't they just have it flown in Hawaii? There's places where it's just always burning. They have it at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. A big pool of it. No, they don't. I'm lying. I've never seen active lava.
Starting point is 01:44:48 Don't the tar pits have like petrified lava? Am I making that up? Rocks? Huh? I said it on so quick. Huh? You mean rocks? Petrified lava?
Starting point is 01:44:59 That's all rocks or petrified lava? No, but there's three different kinds. There's igneous, and then the other two. Sedimentary. D'Artagnan. And D'Artagnan. Porthos, Porthos, igneous, and D'Artagnan. And D'Artagnan, yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:12 Spi-Scrows. We would get on YouTube holes sometimes, where Zach was a big end of this, where he'd put like lava flowing over a car or something. And you just see people filming it like, well, can't move. That's my car, can't move it. And then you just watch it get engulfed. A weed-smoking man right now. That is a weed-smoking man, Zach just got.
Starting point is 01:45:31 I mean, it's satisfying, though. Sometimes you like to get high and see how powerful the earth is. We would watch, you would come over. We would get made to watch, like, big ships getting turned over by way. Yeah, like cruise footage from the inside the dining rooms and stuff. That stuff freaks, that North Sea shit. Oh, it's so scary. When I used to look at TikTok, I somehow got on the North Sea algorithm.
Starting point is 01:45:51 Oh, my God. And it would always play the same like, whee, oh, like the same song. And there would just be crazy shit happening in the North Seas. And then those people that live. on those oil not derricks is that what an oil Derek is?
Starting point is 01:46:05 No, I thought that's the oil rig. I thought the Derek was like the they're the same so an oil Derek just gets stuff out of the core.
Starting point is 01:46:11 Whatever it is. That's a ring. That's a ring. That's a rig. Yeah. Whatever the fuck it is. The rig is the big one. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:46:14 But they just got to live there. Yeah. And with the sea just going nuts underneath them. Yeah. Crazy. Igneous sedimentary
Starting point is 01:46:21 and metamorphic. Yeah. Ignius rocks are from cooled magma. Sedimentary rocks are compacted layers of sand and organic remains
Starting point is 01:46:28 and metamorphic form when existing rocks are transformed by heat or pressure like a diamond. Is there a difference between magma and lava? One is like when it's in the ground and one it's when it's out of the ground. Lava's when it's out of the ground. If it's from the lava region of France.
Starting point is 01:46:43 That's right. Otherwise it's sparkling magas. I climbed Mount St. Helens last year. Magma is underground. Lava is erupted. Pretty buck. Yeah. Pretty buck seeing like the top of the volcano
Starting point is 01:46:56 because there's little volcanoes that start forming immediately. I didn't know that. And it's always smoking, and it has like 15 earthquakes a day or something, or a month maybe. It's crazy. They have like a seismograph halfway up, is that what it is, where you can see active earthquakes. It's really weird being on a volcano, and they're like, yeah, I could erupt again. It will at some point.
Starting point is 01:47:16 Well, why, there's that one, there's a super volcano under Yellowstone. Yellowstone. I never know how much of that is true and how much is just my algorithm being like, you watch fight videos, so maybe you like that. That part's true, the Yellowstone Super Caldera. What's that going to do when it blows up? Don't. Don't. Don't ask.
Starting point is 01:47:31 It's going to release the best album ever. It's a jam band. That's the name of a jam band. It's Yellowstone Super Caldera. Yeah. They're going to tour for 17 years. They're really good, dude. It's as much about the fellowship as it is about the music.
Starting point is 01:47:50 That's where you've got to understand about it when you go. It'll, like, cause really big problems. It'll be a bummer. It'll be a really big problem. I say bummer enough to where the other day, Max, she goes, if someone dies or if you wreck your car, that's a bummer. Right? Like, they are a bummer. She said those two things?
Starting point is 01:48:10 Those two things. Did you cry? No. I was like, yeah, there are a bummer. You're right. Because you call anything sick yet. No, she said she beefed it the other. She fell on her scooter in the living room.
Starting point is 01:48:21 And then she walks in, she goes, Mom, I beefed it. Oh, that's great. That can either mean farting or falling, you know, either one, which she does. She doesn't both. I'm beefing in love with you. That's what the bloods and grips finally said to each other. Your fourth pick, Sean. Hatching sea turtles.
Starting point is 01:48:40 Oh, yeah? Oh, okay. Fuck, that was on my race. Come right out of the sand and they are adorable. If they make it, if they don't make it, they're not adorable. That's a bummer. But, yeah, if they make it where they're going. It's pretty amazing just to see them all come up and just like scurry.
Starting point is 01:48:53 That'd be a cool thing to seek. It's got to be awesome if you're a seabird. You know, I'm sad for the turtles. but, like, you're just, like, hanging out. Well, yeah. Just imagine a bunch of, like, buffalo wings. It's like Super Bowl party. A bunch of buffalo wings crawl out of the beach.
Starting point is 01:49:07 Yeah. You're just sitting there like, yonk. You think about it like that. Yeah. And then every few make it to the sea and go into a full-size buffalo. They're going to be a buffalo. Good for them. There should be a sea buffalo.
Starting point is 01:49:18 There's roughly is. I think there's people that live down there. We need to rebrand a whale. The seat, what? I think there's people that live down there. You know this. What? No, this has come up before.
Starting point is 01:49:27 I think people live down at the bottom of the ocean. I think that we don't know so what's saying they don't They don't Okay, you don't know that We're not built for it Well they're different They're not built
Starting point is 01:49:36 They're built They're built They're literally They're not homo sapiens No they're him They're him They're him Okay
Starting point is 01:49:42 Hyms Yeah they're hymns A bunch of boner pills Down there That's right All right Yeah sea turtles Hatching sea turtles
Starting point is 01:49:51 That's great Coming up out the sand Time for my fourth pick Hmm More potato listen they're great not I'm just just being a jerk
Starting point is 01:50:03 being a prick I'm sorry man I'm gonna take ancient ruins great damn yeah good I love when some ancient ruins are excavated that's really exciting yeah pretty cool and they just kind of like brush it away I love learning one of my favorite I know it's not true but I watch this
Starting point is 01:50:20 there's this like Netflix documentary I forget which one it is but it's like it's a little it's a little it's not a little strange it's a little ancient alien-y, but not quite as this was aliens, but more just just asking questions. I forget which it is, but it's, and it's, I
Starting point is 01:50:36 watch it with my wife, who again is like a very, like, real history-oriented and like things need to be back to, she's like, it's very analytical and correct mind. So, she gets pissed off so much, but I, like, I don't know, it's like speculative fiction. It's just like kind of fun watching it. Yeah. I'll look up the name of it.
Starting point is 01:50:55 If it's not going to, like, change your actual viewpoint on anything, or if it doesn't matter. No. It's not going to affect you negatively. Yeah. To even if it does switch your view. There is a version of this where some people are like, like people in Africa couldn't have built that where it's like, oh, you're being racist.
Starting point is 01:51:09 You know what I mean? Like, of course they could have. But it's like, this isn't that. This is like, we don't know why this thing in Turkey faces the same way as this thing in Indiana. They were built around the same time. Like that kind of shit. It's just like, ooh, it's like a ghost story.
Starting point is 01:51:23 Compare in Turkey and like the NASCAR lines and all that stuff too. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's like these, like, very large, basically, like, impressions made in the ground through, like, digging and using different stones and stuff that it's almost like, how did these people even back then see what they were making? It's like they make, like, monkeys and, like, different weird, like, huge animals. And it's like. And they don't have a view from the top.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Right. There's no mountains around there. There's no, like, they didn't have, like, flight or unless they did have flight, you know? Like, we just don't know about it. Ancient apocalypse is what it's called. And I have to watch it when now I have to watch it when my wife has gone to bed That's the album, that's the album by the
Starting point is 01:52:02 Yeah, ancient apocalypse It's good, dude It's good Everybody likes it They do a cover of picture me rolling on there That's 19 minutes long You really picture them rolling Yeah, you do
Starting point is 01:52:14 I can see it I can really see it But yeah anyway That's like loosely related to like excavating ruins I just think it's very and also The real historians and archaeologists doing It's just very, very cool man exciting as shit
Starting point is 01:52:27 I saw something so wild that like just you know you see those things in real life that you're like whoa it was on
Starting point is 01:52:34 a live stream of a DJ set in Egypt yeah with the fucking pyramids of Giza just perfectly like they
Starting point is 01:52:43 they fan it so it's like the pyramids are just pretty behind them and it's just like techno music and I'm like this is not right
Starting point is 01:52:49 no it should not or that's exactly what they wanted to happen yeah they wanted it to happen I was just I was like yeah what if that activates the Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:57 They start... The beam of light comes out of the top. Oh, no, put it back. Put it back. Damn. The Sphinx's jaws just going back and forth. Yeah. Lot of Molly.
Starting point is 01:53:08 It stands on. It's only speaking of riddles. Yeah. All right, I'll... Yes, you were fourth pick? This is for the line, for the defensive line. I'm going with mountains. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:22 Oh, come on. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any way you slice it, those come out of the ground. And they look so... I love how, like... Have you guys ever been to the new Rockies? Like, they're, like, more dramatic.
Starting point is 01:53:33 It's like, where, like, hell you ride and stuff. Oh, the Paramount logo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, they're more dramatic than the older mountains. Oh, they're not rounded off. Like, the Rockies that you see in the Denver skyline are like, to me, they look rounded, kind of. Yeah. That's erosion.
Starting point is 01:53:48 Yeah. I like a peak, like Mount Hood, where it's like it looks like it's a point on the top. Yeah. That's your rules. I think I've shared these, like, because... I've shared these facts on here before about the, is it the Adirondacks or the Appalachians?
Starting point is 01:54:02 Yeah. Where those mountains are so old they used to be taller than Mount Everest. Yeah. And now they're like, they look like these rolling hills. And they like predate trees.
Starting point is 01:54:14 So whatever, is it, what's in the Blue Regiment? Whatever's in West Virginia. They predate, they're older than trees. So that whole like Appalachian Mountain Range. They are the same rocks as the Scottish Highlands. and like some mountain range in Africa because they were formed
Starting point is 01:54:31 when that was one body of land. So pangea. So now like when you go over there, that's like they're just like the root of whatever those mountains used to be and they've just been ground down by erosion over millennia. It's crazy too because they have canyons in these mountains. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:46 But the canyons are completely covered with foliage. Right. And so it's just such a day because I was like and I, it's weird because I live kind of around but I think it was called like Cloud Canyon or McLeod Canyon in Georgia. And the only canyons I'd seen were out here and Green Canyon and everything. And you go and it's like beautiful like autumn postcard. And you can you can't see it because there's so much foliage, but you can hear rushing water.
Starting point is 01:55:12 And it's just like it's a totally different, totally different canyon experience. So I'm saying if anyone out there thinks there's only one kind of canyon. You fucking open your eyes, dude. Open your can. Don't make the same mistakes I did. don't be me that's not a canyon no
Starting point is 01:55:31 it's really it's really wonderful I like just love that shit it's kind of like the ruins where I'm like wow it's so old and we are like so little like parts of it
Starting point is 01:55:42 and kind of a beautiful way uh redwoods too a lot of this so we're taking potatoes potatoes they're old grains old grains ancient grain what's an ancient grain
Starting point is 01:55:54 what's an ancient grain why is that the thing why is that ancient and other grains aren't maybe because it came from places that were considered ancient civilizations yeah or they haven't been like bioengineered ancient grains are like quinoa and stuff right
Starting point is 01:56:09 it's funny because quinoa came on the scene so late yeah i know it took it's god damn time it's a marketing term oh okay yeah yeah yeah it's marketing yeah they've minimally changed by selective breeding over recent millennia okay yeah yeah whereas like corn and rice have been heavily.
Starting point is 01:56:28 Cornwall? He's going to puke. It's like bananas aren't even really bananas anymore. That's right. Yeah. You ever want to like eat the ancient banana?
Starting point is 01:56:36 Like a seated banana? Oh yeah, the old one? Yeah. The seated ones? You want to come over and eat the ancient banana? Or what? That's where he went. That's an insane way to say.
Starting point is 01:56:46 Isaac's in the other room. What's he doing? You went to go eat the ancient banana. Or at least heal it. But they say that there's like a different, like the bananas have been so. engineered, like, but they're sweeter to make them like better, and then also more disease
Starting point is 01:57:00 resistant. And then there's like old bananas that damn near extinct, bro. Old bananas? Old bananas. I had no idea. How are you, your old banana? Sour grapes. David, you're a fourth and fifth picks. Clay. Yeah, Clay. Okay. Malleable.
Starting point is 01:57:17 Red clay. Yeah. Red clay strays. Another band. Clay Thompson? Or Clay. How about Clay Thompson getting with May? That's great. That's right. I'm like, I go, I could not have been more of a 180 of like,
Starting point is 01:57:32 you're one of the biggest nerds in the league to coolest guy I've ever seen a lot of life. He's always been that, though. He's like, he's weirdly a cool guy. Yeah. Well, you can't, the Warriors is just, they're all dork. Yeah, it's a dorky team. Light years ahead. Yeah, it's like a dorky team and then they got Draymond who's like an enforcer.
Starting point is 01:57:50 Yeah. But he's like, he's just too wild. He's from Saginaw. Yeah. He's just a dude from Saginaw. Clay Thompson's... I don't know what she thought was going to happen. That's really funny.
Starting point is 01:58:02 At his core, he is a dude from Saginaw. Yeah, man. That's really funny. It's cold up there. Clay Thompson used to take a boat to the game. That's what I'm saying. He's like a weirdo, but he's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:15 His dad's from the Bahamas, Michael Thompson? Bahamas, Michael Thompson? Yeah, his brother plays pro baseball right? Yeah, cool guys. But Clay Thompson is with Megan the Stallion. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. And they've been spotted canoodling.
Starting point is 01:58:27 Okay. He said that her spaghetti and catfish is the best thing he's ever eaten in his entire life. Can you imagine? Wink to the camera. Wink to the camera. And he's eating it every night. He's getting sick of it. Quite enough, actually.
Starting point is 01:58:44 Maybe she should eat his corned beef and cabbage sometimes. You know, he works. Maybe his season is coming up. He can't spend so much time eating spaghetti and catfish. yeah that's the thing that I would not have I would never think of putting those together but that makes a lot of sense yeah yeah yeah I would neither but yeah I love catfish yeah me too do you have a time for your final pick oh peanuts yeah great call how do they grow granuts I sound like the beginning of a poem granuts like ground nuts okay
Starting point is 01:59:14 are they in do they have to be plucked from the ground or like in there like potatoes I thought it was like a water situation there's not like a peanut vine right Why did you cook? What happened to you? What was that? Did you see that? Are we getting done? No, I didn't see it. What are you getting so serious? Well, I was just wondering, I go, I go, it's not like a peanut vine, right?
Starting point is 01:59:36 I just looked at him. Okay. Yeah, I wasn't trying to be confrontational. It was weird. The eye contact, probably. I wasn't there, but I believe David, and I think you need to apologize. I'm sorry. No, no, no, it's fine.
Starting point is 01:59:46 Now he's being magnanimous, but you did. Is it a peanut vine? Now you're coming up, me crazy. Answer the question. I'll shut the computer It's a peanut plant It's a peanut plant They do grow underground
Starting point is 01:59:58 So there's like a There's stocks that you like pull out Wild I never would have thought I never knew that Can I grow peanuts in my backyard Isaac? Probably yeah How to grow peanuts in a home garden
Starting point is 02:00:09 Yeah you can't Yeah This is the last episode And I'm gonna say everything I'm sorry We're in the peanut game We're in the peanut game You can still follow us
Starting point is 02:00:18 But it's gonna be different It's gonna be good At new nutbutters.com I've always thought that boiled peanuts were primed for, like, a bougie, like, put some flavor in there. Elevated boiled peanuts. Yeah. We're going to that new elevated boiled peanuts place in Echo Park later. I love it when you could put the nuts on the ground.
Starting point is 02:00:39 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had nutties. That was our, you know, that was our put the nuts on the ground bar. Wasn't that five guys? Wasn't that part of their thing for a while? Are they still doing that?
Starting point is 02:00:48 You didn't put them on the ground, though. Oh, you didn't? I think they just had barrels of nuts, but you didn't. and, like, shell them onto the ground. Oh. Some, I find, like, bars or the whole, like, Texas Roadhouse was a chain. Yeah, Texas Roan House.
Starting point is 02:00:59 Okay. When you open that up, though, because we used to put cigarettes on the ground. It's been a long, long time. I went to an Outback Steakhouse recently, and it was, like, whatever happened with the Cracker Barrow or, like, you don't even feel like you're in Australia anymore. That sucks.
Starting point is 02:01:13 That sucks. We need to bring that back. Yeah. How is that under, like, if Trump has to be president, Can we not get outback? Can I get a boomerang on the fucking wall? Yeah, for God's sake. Bring back our chains.
Starting point is 02:01:26 Can we just have to, bring back our chain restaurants? If we have to suffer everything else. They got the cracker barrel back. Come on, remember when Carl's Jr. used to be like a real restaurant almost? It was nice. With those sexy commercials. Oh, man. Those were crazy.
Starting point is 02:01:40 Have the tits burger or whatever. It was like Tim Kardashian eating a burger on a wet on the hood of the car. She was wet. The car was wet. The burger was wet. It was wet. And it was $6. Six dollars, and it was good.
Starting point is 02:01:52 That, I remember, when Subway felt like kind of a nice restroom. Subway was top tiered. Yeah. Subway, Jared really fogled the bed with all that situation. It was already heading there, but that really ruined it. Well, because Subway for a minute was like the, there were more subways on the planet than there were any other business entity thing like that. And now that's back to all.
Starting point is 02:02:18 Five dollar foot long was a beacon. No, it really was. get it anywhere. That was huge. I remember it was big for vegans, too, back when, like, friends started becoming vegan back in the day. Like, Subway was, like, one of the only place you would go to get. For, like, broke vegans.
Starting point is 02:02:30 They could be like, I can still eat this. Yeah. Peanuts, dude, that's a good pick. That's a great pick. Alan, it's time for your final pick. I'm going to go with the utility player, Arrowheads. Oh, yeah. Man, shout out to the Northwest being a kid.
Starting point is 02:02:46 Dude, stayed looking for Arrowhead. Nothing more. Really, a lot of misdiagnosed arrowheads. still. I think it's an arrowhead. It's not. Sweetheart. Sure.
Starting point is 02:02:55 We'll call it that. It's an old Pepsi can. A lot of like my mom being like, maybe that could be an arrowhead. Oh. That was, you really took me there just now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:08 Well, I see it now because my son looks like a carbon copy of me and I'm like this dude. This dude's going to need some arrowheads. You're going to go plant arrowheads for him. I probably will. She still got the price tag on it. Fuck. Yeah, they bought them too. They had to buy them, too, son.
Starting point is 02:03:23 Commerce. Arrowheads were never free. They had to buy them two is really funny. Did I skip? No, I couldn't. No, you're good. Arrowheads, that's a great pick. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:36 What did I take? Oh, ancient ruins. Yeah, okay. I forgot to write it down. Well, they had, whatever the bodies of whatever were. Well, that was before ancient ones. Oh, you're right. You're right.
Starting point is 02:03:46 I'm going to tag with my final pick, Mommies. Okay. Yeah. Is this too close? to the undead? No. Tell me if it is. I think they're different.
Starting point is 02:03:52 Because they're dead. I have other ones. They're dead. They stay dead. They stay dead. They stay dead. I, perhaps, I mean, it's probably, it is. It's, that's a crediting the dead.
Starting point is 02:04:02 It's kind of cool that they're pulling old ancient kings out of the ground. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, all the stuff that's down there with them to. Yeah. You got to get the stuff. Yeah. Yeah, the tomb.
Starting point is 02:04:12 You got to get the stuff. You ever seen a mummy? Like it, like an omsey or anything? I do think I have, actually. Did you go to the Tutton Common? Yeah, I think I did. Yeah, I went to that, the King Todd exhibit. Pretty buck.
Starting point is 02:04:22 I think they have one at the British Museum, too. Yeah, I think that one in the Scottish National Museum, too. Yeah. It's crazy. Pretty wild. Yeah. Probably put them back. Probably right.
Starting point is 02:04:34 Take them out, get them some air. Yeah, then put them back. I'd feel nuts transporting the mummy. I know they made a movie about it, but like if you were somewhere where there was a mummy with you, I just don't think I'd feel great about it. Like in your car? In the back of your car? Sitting a shotgun.
Starting point is 02:04:48 It had to be in a car at some point. Maybe a truck, but, like, it had to happen. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'd want some layers between me and the mummy. Or put it in a waymoth. That's the sarcophagia are for. That's right. The mommy will get there on its own.
Starting point is 02:04:59 Sean, your final pick. Lightning. Doesn't, like, some lightning come from the ground? Interesting. I do think that you're right. Isn't there like ground lightning? There is. It's something like that.
Starting point is 02:05:10 Jewish lightning. Jewish lightning comes from the hand of the ground. Oh, Jew's lightning. You're burning up the quarter of mile. Jewish lightning. Jewish lightning. That's the breakout. Let's get this thing going.
Starting point is 02:05:26 Jewish lightning, Jewish, Jewish lightning. They'll say your voice. They'll say, Jewish lightning. The girls will say, Jewish lightning, Jewish lightning. Go Jewish lightning. Saving me some money on my taxes. Jewish lightning. It was great.
Starting point is 02:05:45 No. No, that was tough. That's really first option. Is this, I couldn't have gone cleverer than that? Come on. Ground lightning. Go Jewish lightning, secretly controlling the weather. Jewish lightning, Jewish, Jewish lightning.
Starting point is 02:05:58 That's kind of, yeah. It's in the world. We can edit the breakup. We started it, heavy in the entertainment biz. We started it, so it's okay. It kind of makes sense, actually, if you think about it. Sort of a family business. Sorry, you're welcome to join us.
Starting point is 02:06:16 But we will. Make it harder. Because we're friends, Jewish, like. All right. Yeah, sure. We're an analytical people. Yeah. I don't know how much of this episode can come out.
Starting point is 02:06:33 Crap it. Make it sound like I said all of it. And then Photoshop also my head over their head. Put us all on the same couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Four Jews. Just talking about Jewish. stuff.
Starting point is 02:06:47 Colney episode four Jews just talking about Jewish stuff. Yeah, I didn't research it, but I think lightning some of it comes out of the ground. Are we going to let it ride? Well, hold on. Does lightning come out of the ground?
Starting point is 02:06:57 No, I don't want to do AI mode, bro. Yes, it can come out of the ground in the form of upward moving leaders from tall objects. Okay. All right. Interesting. Yeah, I'll take it.
Starting point is 02:07:05 Ooh, tall objects. That's not really the ground. Oh, it doesn't come out of like soil. No, it's like ground, like electricity. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that makes it. That makes more sense. That doesn't count.
Starting point is 02:07:16 I didn't specify. I don't think that counts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Corn. Corn? Come on. Well, stock comes through the ground.
Starting point is 02:07:24 Where do we be without it? There's normally coming out of the ground the way of potato or... Peanuts. Peanuts come out of the ground. You. It does. No, it does. It comes from a seed out of the ground.
Starting point is 02:07:35 Right, fine. Here you go. Corn comes from seed. Corn stocks come out. Corn comes from the plant. Flowers. Yeah, great. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 02:07:44 I'm not the one. But only the stem. I always rip the fucking head off flowers anyways. Corn's probably also okay, and I just feel bad because I took potatoes and I thought it was special. And here's corn. They're both special, bud. I know, but I want to mind me better.
Starting point is 02:07:59 So you like corn more than potatoes? No. Oh, well, then yours is better. I mean, corn's used more. Yeah, but that's-chitos thought corn. Huh? Wouldn't have Cheetos without corn. I mean, that's big Cheetos guy.
Starting point is 02:08:10 What's, uh, corn nuts? What's ethanol? Corn. and that that's gas right kind of does ethanol dilute gas I think part of this is the corn lobby right like legit
Starting point is 02:08:21 oh big corn yeah no it's like a thing yeah yeah yeah ethanol is just alcohol isn't it never mind I meant to tell you big corn he got out about a month ago he's coming to a party you have all your money at bit corn oh no I invest it in bitcoin fuck
Starting point is 02:08:35 Max you can't go to college you can't go to college but I got you a nice house in Mitchell, South Dakota. Yeah, ethanol is just alcohol. Look up corn-based ethanol. Corn-based ethanol. I do like the fact that the corn lobby, I wonder if there's some weird backhanded deal
Starting point is 02:08:54 that had a long time ago between the corn lobby and the entertainment industry to get popcorn in theaters. Oh! When these two worlds come together to make something happen. That had to be. At some point, theaters was wide open.
Starting point is 02:09:07 It could have been anything, right? Big beans. I like when hot dogs got in there. AMC's doing crazy. I'm pretty excited that pizza and hot dogs are in there. They got donut holes now. I don't get corn like that. Popcorn.
Starting point is 02:09:17 I don't get cream corn. If you don't have cream corn, it's not a movie. I eat popcorn almost every day. I love popcorn. I went to Gelson's and they had this expensive popcorn in a jar that's like blue. It was like blue. And I'm like, well, I'm going to buy it once at least to try it. It's not as much as it costs more than the other.
Starting point is 02:09:36 It's not better enough. But it is good. You know what I like is a popcorn ball. Man, I haven't seen one of those in years. Halloween situations. Yeah. Did you look up corn-based ethanol?
Starting point is 02:09:46 I did, yeah. I didn't know anything about this, but apparently, yeah, it is ethanol fuel. Crazy, right? In the U.S. It's produced from corn biomass. They're real big on it in South Dakota. They started to sell it here now. I would always see it whenever you go on the road through Iowa or whatever.
Starting point is 02:10:00 And I just noticed, I don't know if it's the Sinclair or something around. Atwater Village. There's some that are starting to sell ethanol. The, um, I don't ever need to see someone eating a hot dog in a movie theater for some reason it weirds me out. It doesn't really, no, it's been there forever. Rarely doesn't make it to the theater when I get one. Yeah. Like it's almost always done.
Starting point is 02:10:21 Oh, you cram it in the lobby. Yeah. Pretty much. I don't need to, because I don't like sitting in my seat and then dressing it. So I'll dress it at the, you know, at the station with the straws and stuff. And then I just start eating it. So maybe three bites make it into the theater. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:34 Rarely one where I'm sitting down even. You ever just pull off the road? And I already know the answer to this and get yourself a, uh, uh, before I get Home hot dog? Brother, I get hot dogs in Portland all the time. I got two over town. All the time.
Starting point is 02:10:46 There's on Foster and 82nd. Like going to pick Max up from daycare, I'm like, a hot dog wouldn't kill me right now. Might kill me down the road. It's like, actually it is taking eight minutes off your life. I will say the hot dog you get on Foster in 82nd is also probably... It's a legit gas station. It's just surrounded by prostitutes.
Starting point is 02:11:03 But inside the walls, it's a clean place. That's right. No, it's good. Hot dogs are hot dogs, man. They're not any better or worse for you. probably part of the appeal of a hot dog. You're not going to get a better or worse one. Yeah, like it might be in a gross place, honestly. Still a hot dog.
Starting point is 02:11:16 What's a big deal? They're on the rollers. What do I care? There used to be a place on Northwest 23rd in Portland, 23rd in Hoyt, and it was called Hoytogs. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. I love a hot dog. Can't go wrong. How do you feel about the Seattle style hot dog with cream cheese on it? Love it.
Starting point is 02:11:31 I do too. Yeah. Oh, that sounds like it would be all right. Yeah, it's good. Caramelized onions? Is that what it is? I think so. Yeah. I'll miss me with that, but cream cheese all day. don't like caramelized onions. They don't even taste like onions. I know they're onions, so I don't like them. They come out of the ground.
Starting point is 02:11:47 You're right. They don't taste like onions, but just if I see them. I'm with you. I'm okay with them now at this point, but it's like if I can avoid it. I can handle them cooked more than raw onions, I can probably not handle too much. Get out of my face with that. Yeah. I don't need that.
Starting point is 02:12:01 Give me a shallot. Yeah. I'm trying to be a little shallot. Yeah. Cooked onions, though, if I don't see them. What? You had a little shallot? I can.
Starting point is 02:12:08 I don't like a raw onion. I just can't stand it. I don't like seeing the purple. I don't know, none of it. All right. I'd love to see you eat a shallot. You call me up the next time you're having a shalot. I thought they were,
Starting point is 02:12:19 I thought scallets for shallots. I thought you meant, I thought you meant a Twix bar. Ead the candy guy. I just caught. I'm eating a mounds. You cool, I'll pick up.
Starting point is 02:12:32 I got, what I'm doing or where I'm at. I got Timothy's shallot may on the TV and I'm eating me, a Snickers. I'm shalotling all over the place. Iceman, do you have something from the ground? Yeah, kimchi. Oh, come on, there you go.
Starting point is 02:12:47 Sean almost took it probably. That is a great. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a great pick. Yeah. That's a great pick. Yeah. Absolutely.
Starting point is 02:12:54 To recap, David, you went first. You took oil, berry, treasure, diamonds, clay, and peanuts. Alan, you went second. Those are all those guys with spoon who are going to chucked on. Barry treasure? John, run. Barry treasure is pissed off. B' tea.
Starting point is 02:13:07 Barry Treasure thinks your pants are too nice Alan you went second you took Gold the undead groundhogs mountains and arrowheads I went third I took potatoes the mighty redwood the bodies of Easter Island statues ancient ruins and mummies Good tongue Sean you went third you took water dinosaur bones lava hatching sea turtles and flowers God water
Starting point is 02:13:28 That's what was great Water was really good It's what we'll wage the wars on I like that we didn't have to differentiate between between like trees or plants or like we just yeah there was one tree on there uh we left some stuff on the board naked mole rats but we had ground hogs so i was like that right covered very dogs come out of the ground they kind of just stay in there i think you're right i think they stay in the ground or is that just ground that turns into coral no because it's a coral's like a living
Starting point is 02:13:54 thing yeah okay what about like a sea an enemy would that count i was trying to get in the water a little bit like that they're like the things that look like belly hair floating in the water at the bottom that comes from the ocean floor yeah yeah yeah Okay. Old swords, but we kind of covered that. ICBMs, intercontinental ballistic missiles. That's true. We can come out of the ground.
Starting point is 02:14:14 I was going to say hot springs. Hot Springs. Hot springs. Yeah. Is there a good hot spring around L.A.? There's one that's kind of near more the desert, apparently. That's kind of like a hush-hush situation. I'd love to get myself into a hot spring.
Starting point is 02:14:28 Oh, actually, wait. There is one. There's literally a hot springs in CREA town. It's called Beverly Center or Beverly, And it's a hot spring? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I went to the hot springs like a month ago.
Starting point is 02:14:41 It was a great time. Right before we left Colorado. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so much fun. Colorado, Oregon has a ton of them. Yeah. We did it where we like stayed in the hotel and then you go and come back and got like the private tub at night. It is awesome.
Starting point is 02:14:53 I think Oh hi might have. Yeah. Yeah. Well, say oh hi. To the podcast end. It is up with your picks. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout to everyone on the AFE Patreon.
Starting point is 02:15:11 Thank you so much for holding this down. On the Patreon where you can find live episodes, mailbag episodes, auction drafts, this or that episodes, all sorts of bonus content for less than the price of a cup of coffee. Pretty cheap. And also there's like 700 posts on there by now. There's so much stuff.
Starting point is 02:15:28 So if you join right now, 700 more hours of us talking. I've... Or good things. I mean, whatever you want. There's crazy with nunchucks, right? There is. My special's on there, by the way. I put that up.
Starting point is 02:15:40 Oh, that a bad. Just to, yeah, so it's up there if you want to watch that. I'll put an unreleased special on there. You have an unreleased special? Yeah, I just filmed an hour in Portland. Well, I didn't even film it. Randy came out, I think, and, like, filmed it. Scandalous Randallet.
Starting point is 02:15:53 Scandalous Randallet. I didn't intend to put it out, but I just haven't. It looks really nice. If you ever want to, we got the upside to throw up there, too. I don't even know if we can, but I got it. We own that again, I think. Yeah, maybe we can. yeah we can it's enticing it's just it's sitting there if you ever want to we'll see well set a goal
Starting point is 02:16:09 yeah and if we get above it we'll put the upside up my unreleased comedy central pilot david's on it sean rode on it david and sean wrote on it i'm in the sketch i'm in the background and sketch we're all in it yeah we're all in it yeah sam jays in it yeah Morgan murphy yeah i mean al has some yeah shot to super release riset on the one Shout to the A. Shout to the A if he's slackening. Shout to the A if he's subreddit. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Starting point is 02:16:36 Shout to Frankie Ocean, Sid, the dude, Hajie Beats. And more important than all of that. Tune again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Jewish Lightning. Yeah. That was a HeadGum podcast.
Starting point is 02:17:10 What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there.
Starting point is 02:17:29 You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay?
Starting point is 02:17:55 Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.

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