All Fantasy Everything - Things That Come Out of the Ground (w/ Allen Strickland Williams)
Episode Date: November 6, 2025Potato is more important than water.Guest:Allen Strickland Williams (@allenstricklandwilliams)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, m...ailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a headgum podcast.
everything from the world of popular culture.
Today, we are drafting things that come out of the ground.
Our guest is the fantastic, very funny stand-of-comedian
and our friend Alan Strickland Williams.
Hi, everybody.
I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always,
are my friends and comedian, Sean Jordan and David Bore.
You know what I like?
What's that?
Not a sock in this bitch.
Not a sock.
That's true.
That is true.
That's true.
That's true.
It's all suck.
All right.
I'm almost worsome.
Do you guys do baby powder in the...
In the shoes?
That's a Florida thing, so I don't know.
No, I probably should.
Yeah. It's funny because I'll put so much baby powder in the shoes
and it's like, it looks like I'm a narco.
It's like just, yeah.
That's probably one of the coolest problems I've ever been.
Running through the cocaine fields.
I've got a lot of cool people probably.
Yeah, that sounds like a Snoop Dog lyric.
I don't think I have baby powder.
powder in my house. Yeah, we don't, and we have a baby, or we had a baby. I'd never had baby powder
around. I got some odor eaters, though. There you go. Oh, that's good. I used to use tenact,
the athletes foot stuff. Tough act, tough act, and tenactin. I'd put that in there preemptively
sometimes. John Madden preemptively. That was a really good, uh, that was a really good punchline
you would hear on a lot of early comic views that's, they'd be talking about something that'd be
like, tough act and tenactin. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, John Madden was buried in a tough
to enacting coffee.
As per the contract.
As per the contract.
Get a mausoleum.
Nothing's getting in there.
That's why they're going to bury me
in a McWeldon suit.
I wouldn't mind it.
I enjoy McWeldon.
Are we currently sponsored by MacWeldon?
Yeah.
I actually do love MacWelden.
They're the only ones that get like unsolicited ads.
I didn't want to like
if they had recently left,
I wasn't going to be honest about it,
but I really do.
All of my underwear is Mac Weldon.
Yeah, they fit.
They keep everything where it needs to be.
Do you Doug plenty of your underwear?
Do you guys do that?
What does that mean?
Like it's all the same pretty much.
Oh, yes.
I'm getting there.
All my underwear is pretty much the, it's like the same brand inside.
It just colors.
Delut trade a company and Mac Weldon.
That's pretty much all I want.
Just Mac Weldon.
Only wears Mac Weldon.
You're out of hands and stuff.
You seem like you could maybe not wear underwear.
That's a Florida thing too.
A lot of baby powder in my jeans before I put them on.
You got to put baby powder in your jeans before you put them on.
You yell damn the toilet.
Torpedoes, and then walk out fully command them.
And then we listen to Dan the torpedoes by Tomfetti from Florida.
Florida shit.
We're drafted Florida shit.
That would be a foot where you ought to come back over Florida shit.
Oh, wow. I should have pitched that, yeah.
I was in, God, where was it?
It's north of Miami.
Fort Myers.
It's more like there.
There's like a big hard rock hotel there.
It's right north.
It might be.
There's a huge.
I think four Myers on the other side.
But, St. Pete?
What was you that?
St. Petersburg?
It wasn't quite that far up.
That's like Tampa, right?
Isaac, will you look up giant horse statue, Florida?
I don't want to know what this is.
There was like a giant.
It's the...
And then look up, dropsy.
Second biggest statue in the U.S. after...
Hallandale Beach.
Is that right?
Pegasus and Dragon statue.
Yes.
It's the second biggest statue outside of the Statue of Liberty in the United States.
Holy.
Yeah.
Boca Raton is that around there?
It's, where did you say it was?
What were you doing?
I was doing a corporate gig.
Fun.
One of the worst.
It was truly.
Yeah, but, well, it paid very, it paid, it paid like, am I involved in money laundering
in a amount of money?
Like, it was very, it's with those things that, like, pop up every now and then we're like,
okay.
Sure.
All right.
Like, I'm getting on the plane.
A giant horse statue feels like money laundering, too.
That also feels like money laundering.
Well, that is like some weird Canadian businessman who came down there and built it.
So I think that might be money laundering.
Lundering.
But it's got to maintain it.
20 grand a month just to maintain it.
You know,
you're going to watch that money.
It's way more than that, dude.
It's so interesting because there are so many weird horse statues in this country.
Yeah.
Because there's the Denver one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Bluifer.
Did you say that loud?
I've never heard that.
Unless I heard it a few weeks ago and I forgot.
Oh, yeah, Bluifer.
Man, that thing is creepy.
I always wonder how they power the eyes.
You notice the eyes go at night?
Hollywood, Florida.
Hollywood, yeah.
Hollywood, Florida.
Yeah, a lot of weird.
Man has a strange.
relationship with horse.
I've been watched a lot of Deadwood recently,
so I'm like, yeah, we do have a strange relationship with horse.
I mean, there's one episode where the guy was fucking the horse or,
no, I'm thinking Red Dead Redemption.
Oh, Red Dead Red Dead Redemption.
We watched different Deadwoods, man.
I'm doing Red Dead Red Dead Redemption and Deadwood at the same time.
So I'm going to go in cowboy motors.
Damn, you're going thick.
I'm going thick, yeah.
But then my TV blew out, so now I'm kind of not doing anything.
You gotta get another TV immediately.
Red Dead Redemption.
Are you, have you played the second one, too?
I played the first one, and then I got to a point where I thought I could, like,
could like change uh the the outcome of something and apparently you can't yeah so i need to actually
finish that but i'm basically done with that game yeah um and then yeah everyone's i just get a red dead
two is even by the way we're late to the party on this but i was called out a lot for temple
of doom being a prequel not a sequel and i heard red dead redemption two is also a prequel that's what
people are coming at me with is it it's not i know nothing characters it like three people came
at me with that. It's a sequel of a video
game, but it's like completely different character.
So maybe it happens earlier, but I don't know
that that makes it a sequel.
A prequel, you mean? A prequel.
Yeah, I don't know that it makes it a prequel.
I had no idea that that Chinmunks movie was a
frequel.
Or wait, what was it? A squeakle.
A squeakle.
It's a freequel, dude.
The Freaky Friday's a frequel.
That's a freeple.
And that's a squeakle.
I didn't know that.
When we have Laura Peekback on,
it's a Piquel.
Oh, yeah.
The second time you played the Atlanta Hawks in the 90s, it was a dominequil.
Yeah, there you go.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Yeah.
John, you got one?
If there was a, I can't think of any movies, she's in, Angeliquel is what I'm going for.
There you go.
Yeah, I wanted to.
There we go.
Yeah.
Angeliqual.
Gia two.
I mean, I've never seen, I've only seen scenes.
Is there a Gia two?
Did they bring it back with like a different cast?
I've only seen scenes.
I've only read the screenplay.
I've only read the screenplay.
I'm not familiar with the actual footage of the movie.
Yeah, I don't know what it's.
Did they film it?
Have you seen the movie?
I read the screenplay, but why go see it?
I've got a theater in my mind.
Just sitting at some old Hollywood bar reading old screenplays.
Ah.
Yes.
I suppose you watch the movie, huh?
I think you ever pull up on like a.
like a cute bar, like a cafe tondo, or like a nice coffee shop and read poetry in sort of a public-facing way?
I do often.
Nice.
Are you pissed at this trend?
Everybody's talking about performative males now?
No, I'm not, well, everything is performative, right?
In like a Judith Butler sense.
Like, we're always performing Judith Butler on the pod.
Well, yeah.
Oh, early, but all right.
It's a little early for a butler.
It's 1224.
What's the, what's performative males?
What's the beef?
It's just people.
They were one of those strip clubs that came through the common play.
Performative males.
Yeah.
Thunder from down under.
They read Joan Didion and then they take their dick out while they do it.
Exactly right.
They got so oiled up.
It was a sleek wall.
Oh, a sleek one.
There you go.
No, people are making fun of men kind of dressing for the female gays and like
trying to appeal to women in a very performative way.
I think they deserve it.
It's for the, they do.
Feminist.
Come on, man.
Yeah, like a dude that puts baby powder in his shoes, for example.
What's wrong with that?
That's what I'm saying.
Popping D's.
But performative male is like,
it's not like I'm wearing gray sweatpants
so you can see the dick outline.
It's right?
No, no, no.
It's more like wearing cropped shirts
and like, I don't know.
Oh, that's sick.
Nobody wants me in a crop shirt,
but like if you got what's happening.
There are people out there
who definitely want you to have a crop shirt,
my friend.
Absolutely.
Nice you to say.
I would like to see it
because we would look like a University
of Miami linebacker.
Yeah.
From the late age.
Yeah.
The you, baby.
He was like a,
It looks like a bully in an 80s horror movie.
Eat the candy bar.
What's up, Gingis?
Just stepped on it.
Eat it.
You're going to call your mom, eat the fucking candy bar.
Is it poop?
They never swore.
They never, they always, they said the bad words, but they never really swore at them.
What do you, what?
Like in 80s, but they would call them a bad name, but they would never say like,
eat the fucking candy bar.
No.
They would say, yeah.
They'd use a different F word.
They wouldn't use one of the seven words you can't say on television, but they would say it.
Other stuff that you can't say now.
Can't say now.
Yeah, for sure, a lot of that.
You were, in your candy bar scenario,
we're envisioning that to be poop?
Or was it a candy bar?
It was a candy bar.
I'm doing straight on a monster squad.
Oh, I haven't seen.
Kevin Arnold's older brother.
He's the bully.
Maintaining our complete honesty.
Haven't seen Monster Squad.
Ah, that's not a must see.
You guys seen Monster Squad?
I've already heard of Monster Squad.
Wolfman's got Nards.
No?
Wolfman's got Nards.
There's a Wolfman and they're like,
kick him in the nards.
Oh, whoa, okay, Monster Squad.
Kick him in the Nards.
And he goes, Wolfman doesn't have Nards, and then he does it.
And he goes,
Wolfman's got Nards.
And then he runs away.
Why wouldn't the Wolfman have a nut sack?
I never understood.
That's why that's your Wi-Fi password.
It's out of nowhere.
Wolfman's got Nards.
It's Wolfman's got Nards all overcase.
Except for Nards, which is all over case.
What's your network? Wolfman's big dick.
Nards is N-4-R.
N-4-5.
The password is, did you see that guy's balls?
They were weird-looking.
All genital-related.
All genital-related lines.
All the S's are dollar signs.
When you're trolling the poetry in these public spaces, does it ever work?
Trolling the poetry?
You know what he means.
Do you ever get inspired?
Do I ever get to write your own?
I do write my own poetry.
I know, of course you do.
And I bet it's wonderful.
Would you recite some of it?
Would you read us one?
Right?
Right now?
You don't know.
I wouldn't do anything.
I don't think I would like to do it on the podcast.
Ever?
Ever?
Maybe, maybe one day.
Would you do it live and dead?
Denver. I would do it live in Denver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone who came all out. Anyone who came to high planes. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. We're recording beforehand. Do you ever have any interesting encounters based on you having public poetry reading? No, not really, because I'm actually pretty engrossed into poetry. So I'm really. Book down, not book up. Yeah, yeah, book down. Like, I'm not open to conversation when I'm reading poetry. Nice. You just give. Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice how extremely. Please. Hold on.
I really admire your ability to do that because I would feel so self-conscious doing it.
Because I would think people would think I was being a performative male, but you're right.
But I've been doing it since I was like 16.
You've been living in his poetry life.
Yeah.
So it's not really, it's not performative at this point.
It's pretty authentic.
This guy's performing the skateboard shit.
His name is Shaughna Shored.
What are you going to like that?
Skateboard shit.
That's because I'm not in the poetry?
Oh, wow.
Just because I haven't climbed the poetry?
Oh, wow.
This is bringing up the, the,
long-heralded skateboarder verse poet.
That's a big beat.
That's a big beat.
That's a big beat.
That's a monster squad too.
That's like the whole thing.
Which is crazy because skateboard is poetry in motion.
That's what I said.
Poetry on the sidewalk, my friend.
Blinding people of science.
Pass the paintbrush to Picasso, playboy.
Oh, true in motion.
Run that song?
It's poetry in motion.
She blinded me with science.
Science.
That song was just he like smart girls?
I think so.
I don't know.
probably that was a weird one too though because it was like was that like a talk
the talking head sort of thing so then this guy did that yeah yeah that's a weird one
yeah he's like oh you can just do that you can do that that's the way you can sing yeah
Thomas Dolby Dolby yeah wait but what is the point that he just saw her do science
oh look it up whoa she blinded me with science girls do science now is that like what's the
it was damn it was a pro stem song okay okay I'll be at the first sanctuary and
Natty, December 4th.
It's about all I got right now.
That's fun. Yeah. It'd be a good time.
And then, I don't know, other stuff by Ian's book.
Watch David Special.
Thank you.
Join the Patreon.
By my album.
By Allen's album.
Ran through on Alice Shigoland.com.
Is it out now?
It's out now.
It's on vinyl, streaming.
Pick it up.
It's hot.
I love that.
It's hot.
You are extremely funny.
I've always thought so.
Thank you, Shod.
You are really, really good at stand up.
I'd like to echo that sentiment.
We're all, this is funny, funny land.
We did our.
our half hours the same night.
That's right.
We did.
That was fun.
I remember you guys in that you were in the same.
Man,
I remember going to the Hyperion Public.
They were like you had a joint.
They aired ours at the same time.
Yeah, they aired at the same time.
And then they never aired a stand-up special on TV again.
Were we the last two?
We were the last of those half hours on time.
It only aired.
It only aired once, right?
Yeah.
Or am I crazy.
One time each, right?
Friday night at like midnight or something.
Such for shit.
It's so funny just because I was, when we were young, I was like,
they would just put specials on all.
All the time.
All the time.
All that's how I was informed with comedy.
You just flipped to Comedy Central.
More often than not, there'd be a special one.
Yeah.
Someone.
Not anymore.
No.
Now it's the office coming up Tuesday.
Hey, there we go.
Can you still find that half hour somewhere?
Is it on the website or something?
It's probably on Paramount.
It's got to be.
Yeah, I think it is on Paramount.
Actually, I think they put all of ours on YouTube too.
Oh, okay, cool.
I think they just straight up put them all on.
Yeah, yeah, good.
There's no real reason why this song is why.
There's no real through line on it?
Oh, there's not.
He doesn't say anything about.
There's, like, one line where it's like, I can smell the chemicals.
So maybe it's something about, like, pheromones.
I also wonder if, like, when did that song come out and when did Weird Science come out?
That's a great question.
This is October 1982.
Okay, so that's probably before Weird Science.
Weird Science was 85.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
You're stewed, but why.
So science was having a moment in the early 80s.
Space race.
Okay.
Pre-challenged explosion.
Yeah, this is.
We still believed in space.
Most Challenger, you didn't get any of this.
No, no, no.
We had to cut it off a little bit.
We were still locked in.
Hi, I'm David Borey is here.
Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram.
Just watch my special Birth of a Nation with a G on 800-pound gorilla YouTube.
That's really all I got right now.
If you didn't know that it was a stand-up comedy thing,
and you're just like, check me out on 800-pound gorilla YouTube.
I'm really kind of hoping I get it.
get some crossover by people who were looking for birth of a nation.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's so funny.
You might change some wives.
I might change your gin.
Yeah.
Because also the artwork is just the birth of a nation artwork with my face.
Yeah.
Shout to Richard Ingerslaw who painted it.
You're just waiting.
You're just challenging the deep.
Who's that guy?
Who directed?
Not DB Cooper,
but it was on D.W. Griffith.
Yeah.
David Cooper is a guy who disappeared on the plane.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I think that, I think Birth of Nation premiered at the Vista.
They played at the White House.
They did, but I think you're right.
I think it premiered somewhere here.
Well, because it was like a moonshot.
It was like a huge money project at the time.
There's been a lot of money on it.
Just like my comedy special.
Also a moonshot for me.
You built all these sets.
I didn't want to explain it, but yeah, that's why I did.
Yeah, they took a big risk.
I took a big risk.
What's the difference?
Pretty similar content as well.
A lot of the same messenger.
messaging, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You go further.
Just repack it.
You push it harder.
You pick up the baton.
Yeah, it's like a continuation.
Pick up the torch.
You pick up the torch and carry it on.
No, I'm holding a torch in the cover.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'd say a G-Quel.
Yeah, I was trying to, I was trying to, yeah.
It's the closest I could get it.
G-Equel, yeah.
Borikul.
Oh, Boricua.
There it is.
Moreena, Morina, Moriqua, Morina.
Yeah, Puerto Ricans.
Little brown hairs everywhere.
You nasty twin, I don't care.
Is that pubes?
That's, yeah.
Got it.
I think that's what he meant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you really break down what he was saying in that song, it's nasty.
Is it?
I haven't really...
Still not a play, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, well, that's the next lyrics I'm going to pull up.
But Alice Strickland Williams is here.
I have here, everybody.
Where can people find you on social media?
Where can they find your album?
Anything else you'd like to tell people about this comes out.
End of...
November 6, 6.
November 6.
November 6.
November 6. I will have just done some amazing shows in new.
York City.
But yeah, no, the album ran through.
It's on Blonde Medicine Records.
My website, Alan Strickland Williams.com has links to that and the digital versions
as well.
And I'm on the gram at Alice Strickland Williams.
I'm on Twitter at Totally Allen because I was nine years old, I guess, when I made that
one.
Yeah.
TikTok, trying to figure out YouTube shorts.
You know, I'm all over the place.
You know, I was going to bring it up.
We should start doing little shorts with this, like a little five minutes.
snippets.
Okay.
Five minute?
Yeah, that's like, the next move is like putting out smaller versions of the whole
episode so people don't have to like watch the whole two hours if they don't want to
and get them hooked.
Great.
That could all be gone, but that I was going to bring that up here.
They want to see.
That's the clip.
This is the clip.
There it is.
Better than that dumb shit I said yesterday or last week.
Or two weeks ago.
Damn, or three weeks ago.
Yeah.
You suck every week.
Stupid man.
You suck.
Do you stink.
What a bummer.
You stink figuratively and literally.
I knew it.
I always tell Lauren.
You reek.
You don't smell.
Sean, baby powder.
I walk in and she barfs.
Was it me?
And she's like, no.
Every time I walk in, you barf, what's not?
Oh, I'm so glad you're home.
Yeah.
And then Isaac runs in steps in it.
The barf.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Isaac, you had a dog barf incident today?
It was not a good morning.
Sorry, dude.
I, um, sorry, I'm.
You're getting emotional?
Okay.
What happened?
I'm like an allergy reaction.
Oh.
I really.
I thought you were crying for a second.
No, no, no, no, no.
Man, I was going to come over and slap you.
My dog, as I was about to, like, step out the door.
Yeah.
I stepped instead in my dog's puke.
It was like a watery puke.
And we think you were having sex.
And you think that I'm making this all up.
We think you're lying about that.
Which I wish I was.
Yeah.
I really wish that instead of...
Which is what you would say if you were lying about.
Sounds like somebody who just got laid talking.
Yeah.
Okay.
People still saying got laid?
I got laid.
I got laid
Not in a way that's like
Not really, right?
Yeah, I got laid last weekend
Do they say knocking boots now instead?
Bucing Boots
Beasts with two bucks
Bees with two backs
Well, I remember overhearing guys one time
This was in college
I ever heard two guys talking to each other
And he goes, yeah, I doinked her
That's like you kick a field goal
Off the upper end or something
Did we ever draft terms for sex?
We did a live one here.
one time and I don't think we ever released it.
We have to have.
Because trade and paint was one of my favorite ones.
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
Oh, because you got stank on my hangdown.
And everybody was like, oh.
Hank on my stang down.
Got some Hank on my stank down.
I got some Hank on my stang down.
That should mean a different thing.
Those should both be phrases that respect each other.
That's like bowling a perfect game or something.
Yeah, one's front.
One's back.
I got some hank on my stank down.
Oh, sorry, dude.
that sucks
maybe it means you like
I waxed my boat
but you mean it
like I actually waxed my boat this weekend
took the boat out on the lake
got some Hank on my staying down this week
my wife
I don't think you should doink your wife
no you don't doink that's
that's your queen
yeah yeah
I don't think of me I was just being part of the bit
going after college
I think college is probably after that
you can only doank like first two semesters
yeah
I always used to say my own
He used to say...
He used to say, putting the screws to her.
Yeah, I've heard that.
Jesus.
But that also...
I'm 15, Mike.
Yeah, I thought that was like interrogating.
It is, but my uncle would you...
And also, I'm a child when he's saying this.
Like, you put the screws to her.
It's like, 15.
Yeah.
No.
You were doing it then, though.
No, I did it once.
And then I waited until I was 18 again to do it again.
And I didn't put the screws to anyone when I was 13.
I'll tell you that.
My name's Ian Carmel.
carol across the platform.
You can buy my book, T-shirt
Swim Club. We're rented from your
or check it out from your library. You can listen
to the audiobook, wherever audiobooks are
offered. Check it out. I'm really proud
of it. I think it's good. I think you'll like it too.
That's it. That's it.
It's crazy, but this is coming out in November. We have
some stuff lining up.
Did an old boy get a hold of you guys?
What are you talking about? With some dates.
New Orleans? Oh, yes.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, you wanted you to respond.
You free?
Yeah.
There's a festival.
It's, it is basically an AFE festival.
It's the best.
I mean, we probably can't say too much, huh?
I don't know if we can see the dates.
I don't know if you want us to say that March.
We say, I want to, there's a good chance we'll be back in New Orleans March of next year.
Yeah.
So keep the entire month open.
If you look at who's like confirmed, it's pretty sick.
It's everybody who is in the New Orleans festival.
Like, including the people
that weren't there that you wanted there.
Robert Downey Jr.
Robert Downey Sr.
Yeah.
Zion Williamson?
Zion Williamson will be there.
Zion Williamson's hosted the remote version of hot ones.
Wheelchair bound Cajun chef, Paul Prudome is going to be there.
Somebody hit me up the other day.
They're like, you should go on hot ones.
I'm like, I'd love to.
It's so funny when they do that and you're like, I can't.
If they did it based on how much.
somebody loves hot sauce, you'd be on.
Sure, sure.
I think I'd do all right, but Beyonce was on it.
You know, I mean, I'd love to.
Beyonce did hot ones?
Not maybe, I don't know.
Sabrina, I'm just saying.
I think she did, yeah.
I think I remember something about that.
Beyonce's done hot ones.
Did she do it in character as Foxy Cleopatra from Austin?
Cold member?
Wait, hold on.
I always forget about that.
Isn't that kind of memory hold that?
No, she was not on.
Oh.
Maya Rudolph did a sketch on SNL.
as Beyonce on hot ones.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, Beyonce was in an Austin Powers movie.
Yeah.
I think a really good job was really funny.
I think all those movies are good.
Yeah, they're funny.
Mike Myers, man.
You don't get a lot of people saying they're not good.
I don't think I know anyone who doesn't like.
I think back in the day it was like, oh, they didn't really need to do the sequels or
ball ball, but I'm like, looking back, I'm like, history has vindicated Austin Powers.
They're fine.
They're fine.
Absolutely.
As far as sequels go, they're fine.
Yeah.
Well, they're great.
Yeah.
They're really.
Yeah.
Austin Pekul.
Spy who shag me?
Is that the second one?
Austin Pekul.
Yeah, Spy who shag me is the second one, right?
The spy who shagg meekul?
There we.
Get over here.
Can I do what you do?
I probably can't.
So, never mind, stay there.
But you should be over here.
No, you're doing a good job, too.
Thank you.
Thank you, brother.
Woo!
I should point out the blue sweatshirt.
What a look.
I don't mind.
I mean, it's a bowl.
I don't take a lot of swings.
So thank you.
It looks great.
A blue shirt.
is a swing?
This kind of blue.
It's a bright blue.
Normally I'm navy gray, white, black.
Gravy, navy, dude.
Gravy, nay.
Macy gray, navy gray.
It's my prize, racing horse, gravy nay.
What we say?
Oh, man, I just ruined a bit.
Remember you were like, got to get carms on the back of that gravy train.
Got to get carbs on the back.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah.
Listen, let's just start drafting.
All right, dude.
Let's just take our picks.
We won't even riff.
Yeah.
Everybody was going to do.
Today we are drafted.
we can talk about gravy trains all day
but instead we are here to draft things
that come out of the ground which
was straight from Alan Strickland Williams-Noggin
I love it. It's a great topic.
Pretty good one. The way we determine the order of
this draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors
played between the three of you and we throw
on shoot. All right here we go. Did you watch
Braveheart last night?
Come on, man. I watched Game of Thrones.
Why, dude? You've seen it all the way through already.
I was pretty tired. I mean, I
got home. We gave you two.
I was like, I gave you a small meal and a big meal.
I probably got home at 8.30.
And then I went to, I was in bed by 10.
I don't know.
I'm going.
I know.
You're like, ooh.
Eat the candy bar.
Dingus.
Watch chef, dingus.
Have you seen Braveheart?
Yeah.
Laura wants to watch Braveheart with me.
I just keep finding ways to not watch it.
Okay.
That's crazy because I've vetted a lot of relationships as the exact opposite situation.
That's how it is in mine.
Yeah.
I put that shit on.
She was out.
Never saw her again.
No interest.
Dana loves history.
A phone cord hanging out of the watcher.
Dana loves British history specifically.
That movie, she stayed long enough to tell me how a historical it was and then left the room.
But like, it's crazy.
That this man.
I know.
This is the easiest task I've been given to.
Watch it on the plane.
I could.
I could start it.
It's not to be watched.
on your phone.
Yeah.
You're going to want to watch it on a screen.
Oh, yeah.
I watched the whale on the plane,
which was just, like, hilarious for a lot of reasons.
But it was, like, also just a weird movie.
And so I was, like, I was sitting next to this woman and, like,
I was, like, kind of watched it ironically and laughing.
And then at the end, at some point, it got me.
So then she lives over and I'm crying.
I'm like, this is what you think I'm fucking nuts.
The movie has nothing to do with my emotions.
I'm thinking about stuff.
I watched the man.
watch his last movie on the flight.
I mean, also on a plane, though, any movie will get me at some point.
The heighten emotion, man.
Yeah.
Ten seconds of the Lion King.
I mean, Waterworks.
Yeah, yeah.
I watch the notebook all the time on planes.
Yeah.
Just.
You're just like, that's, you're like.
That would really freak me out.
God, that's a good.
If I was sitting next to a guy watching the notebook crying on an airplane, I would.
I heard the other day that, like, doing things, patterns like that, like,
watching the same movie over and over on a flight is, like, dealing with anxiety.
in a way that I didn't know about.
No, it's not something familiar.
I never thought about it.
I only said a social number of seven hundred times.
It's a really good movie.
I just love it.
But it's like a soothing, familiar thing for a flight.
I never really thought about it.
Have you guys drafted airplane movies before?
No.
No.
Wait, did we?
I called debbs on that if you haven't done it.
We've done it.
No, we drafted in movies to make you cry
and Shane took out like an airport.
I wasn't here.
Okay.
We have not drafted airplane.
That's a great.
I call that when my next time comes out in 10 years.
Really is a good one.
Because it's a really specific genre.
It shows you a lot of personality of who you are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't like watching a brand new movie on the flight a lot of times.
No.
I want it.
Oh, see, I'll go to the new ones on Delta.
I'll watch Slop.
I'll watch like Slop on Delton.
You know what I mean?
Where there's a movie you're coming out like on there.
You're like, I would never watch that movie at home.
I would never go to the theater.
That's why I watch the whale.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But I'm here.
I might as well check it out.
Where am I going?
I'll make a list.
I'll go through all the titles.
Make a list on my notes app.
and then I'll go through
and like top two
like which one do I want more
and I'll delete one of them
and then which one do I want more
until I'm down to one movie
process
order
yeah I usually kills
about a half hour
I usually go and I see if the social network
is on and if it's not on
then we have to really think
about what we're doing
that one is so good
it's so good for a plane
it's like a perfect plain movie
it's a perfect play movie
you should stay
and we'll do back to back
it's okay
no fuck shit
that comes out the ground
yeah
a good topic
That's what came out of the ground today.
We really sure.
We'll put a pin on it.
Next time at Sean's down.
We should do it again.
But we are drafting things to come out of the ground.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Whoa.
Wow.
Okay, here we go again.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Oh, Alan wins.
Scissors against two paper.
It's scissors.
It's scissors against two paper.
Alan is the winner.
It is incumbent.
That's triumph.
Now I'm just doing triumph.
Oh, I thought you were doing strong bad.
I thought you were doing a chef, like putting a lobster in a cauldron.
It's time for you to make your pick the cheat.
All right.
But no, not to make your pick to determine the order of the draft.
But before you do that, I will remind you it as a serpentine draft.
What is that?
That's a great question.
Like waiting in line to get on a roller coaster.
All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Basically, if you pick fourth in the first, right, you pick first in the second round.
Solid.
With that mind, what would the order of today's draft be?
I pick the order of how we pick.
We draft, yeah.
You can put yourself first.
You can.
You know what I'm going to do?
Let's just keep it simple stupid.
We'll start with David and go to Sean.
David Allen, Ian Sean.
David Allen, Ian Sean sounds like a guy.
David Allen Ian Sean sounds like a guy.
They had two really good albums.
And then they started making weird songs about science.
Like all the albums were about science all of a sudden.
A lot of turmoil in the band, you see.
So much inner.
Inner.
They were more of an outer turmoil band.
that'd be rough like the world is in disarray
so now our band isn't doing it
we all get along just fine
so much talk about inner turmoil
there's so much traffic out there
that we're not getting along
yeah they've outer turmoil in
it's great
it is great that was a great thing
we're gonna get to David's first pick
but we're gonna take a break first
we're gonna be right back on all fantasy
everything
this episode of all fantasy
everything is brought to you by factor
now like we've been saying it's fall
everything's getting back into your school
you're gonna have holiday
parties, fundraisers, getting dark out earlier. It's just all these things. It's hard to find
time to go get ingredients to cook and then cook it. That's why I'm into factor. That's why we all
are. They got chef-prepared, dietitian-approved meals. They make everything, stay on track. You can
enjoy something comforting and also very good and easy to make in no time. It saves you so much,
so much time, so much effort, and you still get the good, healthy choice. They have a wide selection
of meal options. They got premium seafood choices these days. If you're a seafood lunatic,
you got salmon and shrimp. No extra costs. They got GLP1 friendly meals, new Mediterranean diet options,
got all that protein in there. The good for you fats, you know, they got some of those.
They have Asian-inspired meals for the first time, bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand,
anywhere you look, and they got you covered. They want you to get a good meal. And that's why
97% of customers say the factor help them be healthier in their life, which is the whole goal.
We're all getting up there. Be healthier. Again, I've said it so many times. I like it the way that
looks in the fridge. I like the options. They got greens in there, which if you listen, you know,
I'm not too good at eating those greens. And I like the little juices. Those little juices
win me over every time. Eat smart at factor meals.com slash all fantasy 50 off and use code
all fantasy 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code all
fantasy 50 off at factor meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast.
for one year, get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for
new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. This episode of
all fantasy, everything is brought to by Comic Con the Cruise. If you're looking to get out
on the boat, be in the water, enjoy yourself down in the Bahamas, but you also want to kind
of nerd out a little bit. This is the 100% exact experience that you're looking for.
Eventually, you're just going to go on a gigantic cruise ship with all the fun amenities that you're looking for and you're going to have fan favorite celebrities, creators, anyone that you might want on the ship, you know, as far as your favorite pop culture situations go, chances are they're going to be on there. It's such a fun idea. Just hop on the ship and go enjoy everything they got. They got all the stuff you're looking for. All the immersive activities. I got the artist Sally. They're going to have panels, workshops. You can sit late night conversations. Who knows, whoever you're there to see, they might just walk into the same
ship bar that you're at that night and you sit and chop it up. You're going to sail round
trip from Tampa, Florida to Nassau Bahamas on the celebrity constellation. We're going
January 30th through February 3rd, 2006. Four-day luxury cruise. Going to have fan favorites on
there. All the elements of Comic Con without being at a convention center. You get to be on a cruise
right there with him. Looking at the list, Dominic Monaghan's going to be there, Billy Boyd,
Jason Isaacs. Dude, Jason Isaacs, if you've ever seen the Patriot, holy cow, that'd be enough right
there just to be like, how'd you do that?
It was insane.
But that's dope.
I would love to do that.
So hop on it.
Go get it.
It's right there for you.
Learn more and see the full 2026 lineup, including a star-studded roster, a fantasy, adventure,
comedy, sci-fi, and more at Comicconthe-cruise.com slash all-fantasy.
Book a new reservation with promo code, All-Fantasy, to get $250 off your cabin.
Get in there.
Once again, that's Comicconthe-cruise.com slash all-fantasy.
Get on it.
And we're back.
Welcome back to Hall Fancy, everything.
Already in progress, we're drafting things that come out of the ground.
David Borey is about to make the first pick in the draft.
Texas T.
Oh, wow, I thought we were going to wait for that one, but all right.
I think that's the first friend of talent.
I also watched There Will Be Blood, like last year.
There you go.
Oh, fair way.
Rainage.
Another movie, my lady, not interested in.
Yeah.
It hates that.
Every time it even flashes up, she's like,
God, I hate that movie.
Really?
Hates it.
Hates it.
Probably a little too violent, a little like senseless violence, you know.
I don't.
Is it?
I mean, there's violence.
It's for capitalism.
I haven't seen it in a long time.
Anyway, yeah, she doesn't like it.
Completely reasonable and justified violent.
I'd say the best reason for violence.
Yeah, what does she not drive a car?
Damn, I'm not trying to get her.
Plastic, dude?
Laura loves that movie.
Has she seen Landman?
Yeah.
What's her favorite?
What's her favorite oil movie?
What's her favorite oil movie?
Yeah.
Lorenzo's.
Can you call that an oil movie?
Does you look sterling involved, right?
Because they start out.
Yeah.
They're oil guys.
They're roughnecks.
They're roughnecks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Leather, what are that?
Roughnecks?
Roughnex are oil guys.
I'll be damned if my little girl's going to marry a roughneck.
She's better than you.
She's better than all of us.
Gotta get a rough neck.
That'd be, that'd bum me out if somebody said she's better than you.
Like, well, sure, but I don't need to hear it.
What if you, what if Maxine tried to marry a podcaster, though?
You might have to have that conversation.
You would have to say that.
Have to.
I'd say that to Maxx.
I know these guys.
They're not good guys
I know what they get up to
No that'd be a bummer
He doesn't mean what he said about Mac Weldon
We do
We legit too
I'm sure he looks good
Head to toe Mac Weldon
I'd have a real dark dinner
With two microphones
I need to talk to you
And we're going to record it
It's off the record
Uh yeah oil
Oil what else is to say
Come on it
All right
Get you rich
Well
Not me
No
Does oil ever not get your
I wouldn't know what to do
If I struck oil
I wouldn't know how to get rich off
That's what they're betting on
Dude a bunch of rubes
Hitting oil
What do you do?
What would you do?
What would you do?
What would you call?
I can't ever say this word
I'd get a straw
I'd drink a milkshake
Something like that
Yeah
You gotta see if it's
How crude it is
Is that a landman
Is that what that is?
No
Oh okay
No
A landman's the one
The broker's
What is a landman
What is a landman?
I'm not sure
I didn't get that out of the whole ten episodes
Landman's the landman
Yeah
Wildcatters
the guy that goes out and tries to figure out maybe where there's going to be oil.
That's a Jerry Jones,
Jerry Jones is so old, he was a wildcatter.
I think he was maybe a wildcatter.
He like gambled big on some oil and then that's how he got the cowboys.
He also owned before that he owned like six grocery stores.
There's so much stuff he did.
He used to sell insurance door to door.
I just learned in all that documentary,
but he did a ton of stuff and just he also played college ball with Jimmy Johnson
and won a championship.
At Arkansas, right?
It's insane.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Like, people gave him Chevron and the Cowboys.
You're like, we won a national championship.
It comes by a football team.
But they didn't like that in Arkansas, man.
It was coming in the Texas and buying the Cowboys.
A Wildcat.
A Wildcat.
So if I strike oil, I should call...
Not a Wildcat.
Jerry Jones.
I should call Jerry Jones.
You should call Laura.
You should talk about it.
Laura, help me figure out.
I know you don't like that movie.
Bye.
That's why you're the perfect person to advise me.
I need to know what to do with my oil.
What's the scenario where you've struck oil?
I can't think of one.
Are you digging in the backyard?
Maybe.
Yeah.
I'm trying to plant a tree?
I don't know.
Not to say picks, but that goes into the ground.
Yeah, I just dig way, way, way too deep to plant the tree.
You get really bored.
You're like, maybe you can't, can you dig to China?
Like you're like, actually can I do that?
What's the most you've ever dug?
dude how far down
once I started getting into jazz I dug it
hard
I had to dig a grave for a cat
like two years ago yeah
you get a foot like a foot
and I was like this sucks dude it's way harder
to dig in the gun you gotta give the cat two feet
I got fence posts like with a post hole digger
that's like what's that couple feet
you shake that in how does a pencil
you like you jam it and then you pull it out
and then it's like
it closes in and grabs the dirt
yeah but that's what's
that. I think probably like a foot
and a half or something like that. Maybe more than
that. Maybe more than that. I mean, it's really got to be
in there. I'm trying to think when it was like all the way down.
It's fairly deep. It sucks digging.
Big hug does suck. I've also dug a
French drain. That sucks. What is
that? It's like
it's anal. It's a drain for cigarettes.
Peeing out of your butt. Hey, do you dig French
drains? It's like the drain
on the side of the house and it's like
I forget what the drop is supposed to be.
It was, like, overseed by a guy.
It wasn't, like, just 15.
In the States Island?
Yeah.
Let me make this drain.
Oil is a great pick.
That's great.
I didn't think of it.
Alan.
So, okay, that's going to really change my whole strategy, but now I'm going to flip it.
Now I'm going to go, I guess I'll say this so that we can keep some other options open.
I'm going to say gold.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't 100% understand why it's.
so valuable. I also wouldn't know what to do if I struck gold. I wouldn't, I'd be like take it to a pawn
shop. I don't know where I would take it to make it money. Same thing. It's, it's, it's one of these
jobs that doesn't really exist anymore, but it would have been an asset, an assayer. But gold is, like,
so if you have a bunch of gold right now, how does that translate to money? Well, what they used
to do in Deadwood, because I'm watching it right now, is they used to take it to like a central
bank or like, I guess, is it now Fort Knox? Does like literally the gold go to Fort Knox? Is there
I think so.
No, there's no gold.
Well, that's not good for the economy.
No, it's not.
But does our gold reserve still, like, back up our dollar?
No.
It doesn't at all, right?
No.
So gold.
The gold standard.
Yeah, that ended in, like, the 1800s, I want to say.
1900s?
Ari's agency?
The gold standard.
I feel like Nixon had something to do with that, too.
Or Nixon did something with money that people.
Oh, wait, 73?
Yeah.
Oh, way later than I thought.
My bad.
But there was a lot of stuff where it was like, yeah, are we going to do gold?
Then are we going to do silver?
and um but then it is that type of thing too where it's like yeah why are these things really
valuable and i i was just reading a bunch of stuff about gold uh gold mining because i was
watching dead when i was like i'd done a wikipedia hole when i was high or something and i guess a
lot of the california gold rush people came out here some people found some gold and then a lot of people
found what became known as fool's gold because it was looked like gold but that in and of itself was
a valuable resource because it was used,
I can't remember what it was used in, but it was used in the process
of smelting some other thing.
Oh, pyrite, right?
Yeah, right, yeah.
Okay, so you could sell Fools Gold also.
So you could, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that's not a bad setup then.
Shoot for the moon.
Are those the 49ers?
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
1849.
The price of gold right now is $3,680 per whatever the unit is.
Pound was a silver town.
Yeah.
I had some silver for a while.
I remember when you got into silver.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
That's awesome, David.
So you're on the crypto train way early.
No, no, it was just I came up on some silver.
So who am I selling my gold to?
I'm not going to let this go.
I sold the silver at a jewelry store.
You can just go.
So if I got 10 pounds of gold, well, two pounds or whatever.
And I'd just take it in.
Like bars?
To a gold store.
Yeah, whatever.
What would I do?
I think you call it $100 cash for gold.
Yeah.
Hey, I have mesothed the only omel.
Will this get rid of it?
Damn, gold was like in 2023, you could have gotten it for like $1,800 an ounce.
And now it's $3,600 an ounce.
It's in an all-time high.
Is it an all-time high?
That's so funny.
We've got to get some gold.
It's like during economic uncertainty, right?
Yeah.
Well, gold is still gold.
Like, it's better than owning stocks.
That's what they think.
Yeah.
It's like if every computer in the world dies and we have to go back to this system of melting down precious metals to stamp into coins to paper goods
It feels luxurious, though.
Have you ever seen like a silver bar?
Oh, it's awesome.
It's so cool.
There was this pawn shop in Sioux Falls.
They were like, we got a million dollars in gold.
That was their whole thing.
You could go look at it.
And it was in a safe and it was probably as big as your album.
But the amount of gold.
Yeah, it's not a lot.
Barely any.
I'm like, well, this, that's cool.
Can you see them ones?
It looks stupid.
You can also pan for gold, right?
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, little bits.
Yeah.
like flakes in the river mine it and then it's like you know what yeah it's like wherever there's gold
there's like make a hardware store like yeah do that saloon comes next you guys ever seen that
you ever watch that show on discovery channel the gold rush show where they have the giant mines
in alaska oh yeah yeah yeah those dudes are like i was talking to my friend about it it's like
it's like a job you wish you could have is a little kid yeah yeah because they just they all have
You don't realize your body was going to hurt.
Huge trucks.
And they're driving trucks around and there's water everywhere.
They get to see a moose every now and then.
Yeah, it's like they're having the best time.
They have squeeze-its?
Yeah.
They have Squeez-it.
Do you remember squeeze-its?
Do I remember squeeze-its?
The Cool-Burst things you're talking about, like the squeeze-it juice?
Yeah, and they had little faces on them.
Yeah.
I remember the Kool-Aid ones.
Cool-Burst, I think they were called.
Kool-A jammers.
Or were they, maybe they were called Kool-Aid squeezes-its.
But, yeah, they were amazing.
No, Squeeze-It was its own brand.
Yeah.
Okay.
A Squeez-It family.
That was a Kool-Aid man.
Yeah, Hieronymus Squeeze-It.
Isaac, did you were Squeez-It around when you were a young man?
They're different, too, to Isaac.
Yeah, that's a different.
You're asking me a different question.
That's why he was late to squeeze.
That's what he calls boobs or squeezes-its.
You know what's funny is I was actually talking about boobs last night because Amy Silverberg was on yesterday
and her email is Big Jugg's rule.
And I was conveying this to my friends and they were like,
What size of boobs do you prefer?
That was 30 minutes of conversation.
Wow.
30 minutes.
30 minutes.
He took out a diagram.
I didn't even,
I brought my laptop for this specific reason.
I've made some charts.
Where were you when this conversation was happening?
We were at the Red Lion.
Okay.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, and then we went across street.
Have you guys ever been to the Chah Chah La?
First class I threw up in L.A.
Yeah.
That place sucks.
Only fight I've ever seen in L.A.
was at the Chachau.
Yeah, that's bad.
I saw a big fight there.
And I threw up in a lot of places in this town.
I feel like it's a long linch.
That's a cool.
That was, Kyle used to live right down the street.
We go to Red Lion and then I always wanted to go to Chachat Club.
And he would always tell me like it's, nah, it's dicey.
I talked to him into it one night, big fight.
Almost like 10 minutes after we got there.
Tashi used to have a show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, that was one of those weird.
It was like PBR sponsored that show or something.
Yeah.
Something weird like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was that taco truck.
Maybe it's still there that would put French fries in your burritos.
California style.
Yeah.
Sounds great.
Red Lion.
I would have too much to drink there and end up eating a lot of sausage off of other people's plates.
Yeah.
What a fun thing to be able to get just a big plate of sausage, though.
People get up and leave and leave sausage.
I watched them there the whole time.
They didn't do anything gross to that sausage.
Nothing wrong with that, by the way.
Nothing on the table.
I would do that to this day.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wouldn't care one bit.
If I saw them not touch it,
done let me ask you this nine inches let me ask you this after that come on brother
nine inches of sausages how much oh yeah uh room service cart in the hallway to hotel no
never maybe i never have but i might i'd have to be pretty fucked french fries i'd have to be
pretty fucked up you could tell the french fries it's like they put it out in the hall for them to
come get it here's the real question what kind of fry yeah steak fry steak oh no i'm always
passing steak fry. Oh, always
I'm not a big steak fry guy. I like a skinny fry.
Too thick, huh? Yeah. I get that.
Steak fries can go bad, I think, a lot.
When they get cold, they're cold.
Yeah, yeah. But a hot steak fry,
it's a, it's a conduit for the sauce.
True. No, Joe, no. It's just a big boat
behind 50. They get that crunch right on
there, though. Yeah. I don't really even care.
I feel like they come out floppy. That's when Red Robin started
turned for me and the steak fries started getting floppy.
They called them and then you get the U, the horseshoe and then.
I know what you're saying.
I don't like them. I'm not kidding.
I just won't let it go.
To me, I mean, it's a lower form of poetry.
You know what I mean?
But, like, I still celebrate it.
But I like him crispy.
I don't mind him crispy.
And I vote.
And I vote.
Yeah, I don't do that.
I'm independent.
I'm independent.
Rand Paul.
Rand Paul.
You're a big Rand guy, dude.
I knew a guy named Big Rand back in the day.
Big Rand?
Threatened to choke me out one time.
Was it going to steak fry?
He thought my girlfriend was too.
With the invisible hand?
He thought my girlfriend was too.
too hot for me. So you got mad at me
one night. Isn't that crazy? What?
He got mad at me and threatened to beat me up one night
because he thought my girlfriend was too attractive
for to be with me.
Was she?
Yeah.
That's neither here nor there.
It was just one of those things where I'm like,
Rand,
she ain't going to.
Big Rams made one of a sense.
For him, he was just like injustice.
It was just like he was upset at the inequality
of the relationship.
Him and this dude's spoon. They both could not handle it.
What the spoon is big,
Rand?
Yeah, they were working for drugs
Spence always turned something out
Oh yeah, Spoon had braids
They were gnarly
You say Spoon had rabies?
Braids
Oh
Rabies of the hair
I do like
Not that it happened to you
But in a just like an
Abstract sort of way
A man having abstract
Beef like that
And he was my buddy too
They were both like
They got my back
A lot of times
When I should have
Yeah
Gotten beat up let's say
But you didn't back into his car
You didn't take his drink
You didn't take his girl
It was just a theoretical concept
That in his opinion
Didn't like it
There's a cosmic imbalance here
And he was gonna set it right
By the way it was
By choking me
It was
He had seen us together a bunch
He just came up to the table
And just out of nowhere
And he was I think he was even smiling
And he was like man
I just don't like this
And I can't remember the exact verbiage
But that was the gist of it
Was he just didn't like
What was happening?
It was crazy
Where was his girl?
Why was he with spoon?
his girl's too ugly for him
and he's not the only way
That's a whole book right there
But I can't remember how it resolved
I think I just like talked him off the ledge a little bit
I might have even been like
Yeah man I don't get it either
Whatever
Yeah yeah yeah
She's got really bad burbs
Her personality
She's gross
She's blind
She's gonna break in love with you
You gotta just like
Whoa whoa whoa
I'm happy a spoon doesn't know what a podcast is
Spoon's a big the daily guy
Time for my first pick
And with my first pick
I'm going to take
The aforementioned
Listen we've already done tea
We've already done oil and gold
Now I have to go to the third most valuable thing
To come out of the ground.
Potatoes
Oh, there you thought you were going to
going somewhere else. That's great.
Potatoes rule.
Potato, it's an incredibly important thing that comes out of the ground.
Yeah.
One of our most versatile foods.
We're just talking about fries.
Sure. Even if you don't like a steak fry, you like a fry.
Some sort of potato product.
Some sort of potato product.
Tot.
We were talking the other day.
I like sweet potatoes.
What was the last time you had a baked potato?
Oh, I just got one from Wendy's.
Did you?
Like a month or two ago.
And I was like, I didn't, because I literally was, I was like, do they still do that?
Yeah.
And they did and I got it.
And I was like, you know what?
It was right where it was supposed to do.
Yeah, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was right there.
That and they're chili.
They never miss with the baked potato and their chili.
I can always go to them.
And I got the chili baked, I got the chili baked potato.
Oh, that's right.
Baked potato was a good school lunch.
Oh, we never have that at school, baked potato.
And they would just have, like, all the stuff to put on top.
We'll do them at the crib once every three months probably.
It's like an easy enough, just bake them and then put your stuff.
I mean, easy enough dinner, you know?
I can do it.
I haven't had a baked potato.
years. And like I saw, somebody got one in a restaurant I was at the other day, but they
ordered after me. And I didn't have the stones. I was like, I got to get baked potatoes.
To go take it out. Take it off of my friends. And I know the balls to go take it from them,
but I wanted to.
70 year old mother's plate. Um, the, it just looked so good. And I was like,
fuck yeah, baked potatoes, man. And even that, the most basic form of potatoes,
wonderful. Yeah. mashed potatoes. I mean, in a real pinch, you can
make a light socket out of them or whatever.
Yeah, you can do experiments or whatever
You can grow one out of another one or something like that
You can throw them at a wood brown
Do you guys ever do that with a cheese grater?
What?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Tell you this.
They don't go great when I do it.
I like you.
You gotta get the moisture.
Mine are soggy.
Yeah, that's exactly.
I'd throw that in air fryer.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, cool.
You can do that.
You can shut up a potato and throw on the air fryer.
Let me tell you this.
Air fryer is, it's almost like I'm sponsored.
It is the best invention that's ever made.
It's really huge.
It's really just if you're, especially if you're,
Especially if you're ever on the go and just trying to, like, meal prep and whatever, it'll change your life.
Leftover fries, like if you have day old fries for whatever really, it turns them into fucking five-minute-old fries.
I don't know anyone who doesn't like their air friar.
I'll say that.
I don't know anyone who's ever.
Huge win for humanity.
After a while, you even stop cleaning it.
It doesn't matter.
I use the little, like, parchment paper or whatever.
Yeah, because the bottom layer will get kind of.
I don't, ours is nuts.
And I still, like, what do I care?
It'll get you there.
That's surprising.
I think you should care, actually.
Nah.
Maybe it's like cast iron.
It's like a microwave.
You still clean cast iron.
You're still clean cast iron.
Maybe I don't know if they're slapping class iron into the like mass-produced
plastic thing.
I'm saying you're seasoned your air fry.
Right, right, right, right.
It gets a little vibe going.
Yeah.
The terrois.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Airfire.
This is my cast iron.
There are many like it, but this is mine.
This is mine.
But yeah, potatoes, man.
They just rule.
I love a potato.
Yeah.
This is a really funny first round.
Yeah, it is.
Oil, gold potato and Sean?
I'm pretty sure this counts.
Is water?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Water comes out of the ground, right?
Yeah.
It can.
Ground water, like a well.
Mostly, right?
I mean, I know it also rains and everything, but like, does most of the water come out of the ground?
Most of the water's in the ocean, my friend.
Yeah, which came out of the, did that come out of the ground?
No.
How did that get here?
God.
God.
God.
She.
Dude, brother.
It's a cycle.
Fuck, yeah, brother.
It is a cycle.
It's a vicious cycle.
It's a vicious cycle.
Hey, let's change the world, bro.
The world over here.
What are you guys doing?
Hang it out.
Let's go to intelligency and tell them what we just figured out.
Let's go do that.
Let's walk into intelligency with our hands held high like this.
What's up?
Coffee's on you guys.
Give us whichever copy you think we want.
Coffee's on you guys.
It's really funny.
Walking it in anywhere inside.
Blank is on you guys.
It's really funny.
What can I get you?
It wasn't on you?
You paying?
You offer it?
I might do that at a bar after this.
What can I get you?
Well, who's buying?
Who's buying?
I bet 33 taps you can get away with.
Don't go to the Chachaw Club and try that.
No, I'll just, well, I'll set a gun on the table.
Who's buying?
Don't try that at the goddamn dirty crow.
Water.
Water.
Yeah, water.
So ground water.
Groundwater.
Yeah, groundwater.
It seems pretty important.
Aquifers, yeah.
Yeah, well, not potato important, but pretty important.
Ian Carmel, potatoes are more important.
than water. There's water in potatoes. There's not potatoes in water. Thank you. You get in the wrong
groundwater, my friend. You've never had potato water? A water potato? What you got a goddamn water
potatoes. Yeah, water potatoes. Can I get out? Some water potatoes moved in next door. What's that
truck forgetting, forgetting the word for vodka at a bar? What's that, uh, potato water?
Your highest, your highest potato water. Give me that one that makes my wife the least mad at me when I come
Which one doesn't stink?
Yeah.
Vodka.
Vaca.
Hard to almost talk about water.
It's such a big thing.
Yeah.
But potatoes are bigger.
You're right.
One of my favorite questions to ask is to rank the four carbohydrate groups,
like noodles, rice, potatoes, and bread.
Where would you rank them?
Noodles, potatoes, bread, rice.
I feel like we're going too vague because some noodles are so much better than some bread and some bread.
All right.
Generally.
Is croissant bread?
Yeah.
Like, are we talking like all pastry?
All pastries.
I'm putting sandwiches low.
I think I'm doing bread, pasta, rice.
Cake isn't bread.
You can't call cake bread.
It's bread.
It's bread.
I don't.
Cake is bread, dude.
I feel like there is something.
We're going to need more space on your tombstone for all these things that you're saying.
Potatoes are more important than water.
Cake is bread.
Because like cinnamon roll.
In this house, we believe.
In this house we believe.
Yeah.
cake is bread wait hold on
potatoes more important than water
in this house we believe in science
you're gonna be the first like tombstone with color on it
that's tight
if like if all does if all like flower-based desserts
count as bread I mean more savory
I mean like more savory foods right
because I go noodle first potato second
rice and then bread
I think rice is last just because rice
Because you hate Asian people
Because I hate Asian people
But it also seems like
Rice there's like
There's like four or five varieties of rice
That I can think of
Off top of my head
I'm sure there's more than that
What if we're going without
Churching it up at all
So it's just like
A loaf of bread
A potato
Some noodles
What I'm nice
When I like the
When I like that
When I was
When I hiked from Minneapolis to Portland
Okay
Oh I still
I don't eat potatoes
Bread's probably the most important in that scenario.
I don't like, I'll do sweet potatoes at home, but like potato potato, that's like the thing I eat.
Bread and butter will hit.
It's just so hard.
That's what I'm saying.
And noodles and butter and rice and butter.
Rice and soy sauce?
Man.
Well, potatoes and rice and soy sauce is fake.
It's so.
And then like, and then like, and sushi.
And then like every time you make rice, the next day you make your own fried rice.
That's always awesome.
Admittedly, I'm not, I feel like I'm not getting the best of the rice world.
So I like when I put it at the bottom of my list.
which I think I might.
Do you not eat rice a lot?
Not really.
I like it with sushi.
And here's my question.
Sushi rice is different though, I feel like than like.
I like sticky rice.
Like basmati or like Jasmine or whatever.
And just to be clear, we're talking like Italian noodle, not like a pool noodle.
I just want to be clear.
No, that's a good.
Pool noodles is already for you.
We're talking to rigatone.
You're stranded out in open water.
What do you want the most?
What about Jerry Rice?
Bread?
Does he count for rice?
Because he's the greatest wide receiver of all time.
Jerry Rice is better than the band bread.
That's 100.
That's right.
Okay. Now we're working.
And the spaghetti incident.
Yeah.
Yep, for sure.
Yeah.
Now, I was saying, like, noodle for me has to be number one.
Yeah.
It includes pasta and also all of the Asian noodles.
No, I think of Charmaine over fried rice every time.
I'm thinking variety.
I'm thinking what do you get the most out of with stuff?
So it's like noodles, number one.
Yeah.
Bread is so big that I almost feel like putting at three or four is just like not right.
It feels wrong.
And then potatoes you get french.
I mean, maybe potatoes actually not as versatile as I'm thinking.
I feel like bread's one or two.
Breads last for me, though.
And I love bread.
I love bread.
But then you're leaving sandwiches.
Then you don't get sandwiches.
You get,
we don't eat sandwiches nearly as much.
Fresh bread and butter is,
is amazing.
Bread is a different,
it's still a different type of thing
than rice noodles and potatoes.
Like,
yeah.
It encases the food.
It comes before the meal.
Like,
I feel like we got to get bread out of this conversation.
Yeah.
Maybe we want to take bread out.
Yeah.
I agree, but all right.
So potatoes.
This is why I love asking this question.
This is better than the boobs thing at the bar.
You should open with this.
What size boobs do you like?
I like them all.
I like them all.
Now, potatoes.
I like the boobs of the woman who is agreed to sleep with me.
Of course.
All right.
Hey, just so you know, her boobs are way too big for you.
I'm going to choke you out.
Me and Spoon.
Hey, man, today ain't your day.
And that ain't your girl.
I'm sorry to break it to you.
I know that we know each other.
Yeah.
All right.
And your second pick?
Dinosaur bones.
Damn it.
It's just dope, dude.
They just found a triceratops skull that weighs as much as like two school buses or something.
Nice.
It's insane.
That's awesome.
Triceratops were big as hell.
Where did you find out about that?
I just had a dream, dude.
They're going to find it.
That Taylor Swift was pregnant.
Both those two.
You did not dream.
No, my brother-in-law had that dream.
Oh, right, right.
And I thought it was a fact.
Right.
But yeah, dinosaur bones, man.
They're just...
They're awesome.
They're just so huge.
It's just crazy.
Like when you see a dinosaur like put together or whatever, like a scale of one.
Chicago O'Hare.
They got one of hair?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Not the real bones.
Well, right.
Most of the bones you see in the museum aren't.
They're castes.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're in my basement.
I got the rules.
That's not how.
the dinosaurs aren't real conspiracies out there.
Is that a conspiracy?
Oh, yeah.
A lot of people.
I mean, it's not even a conspiracy, I guess,
because it's just part of, like, creationism.
Oh, right.
The dinosaurs aren't real.
Yeah.
Right.
Or that they weren't, they weren't so far away or so long ago.
Because the Earth is only 6,000 years old,
so they must have coexisted with Jesus.
And they were so big,
wherever they fit, the houses are too small, you know, all that stuff.
Yeah.
See, now I only, I don't know what is what?
This is where you find out I'm a big conspiracy guy.
But I don't know how old they were.
I just know they were real.
And I got to trust the people who tell me they were real.
You know what?
I just always remember the trailer for Jurassic Park.
So it's 65 million years ago.
Which now is probably 65 million plus 30 years or something like that.
65 million and 30 years.
That's your knowledge you drop when it's actually 65 million and 30 years ago now.
Is Jurassic Park 30 years old?
I think 94 or something like that.
Yeah.
Shit.
Fuck.
God.
That was a good.
Jeep.
That was a good Jeep.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Would you go to a Jurassic Park?
No.
Would you?
Yeah, I'm afraid I would.
Yeah, I think I would do.
I think I would do.
I think so.
I would tempt that.
I saw all the movies.
Is it on an island?
I guess it depends on what.
It has to be an island.
They got to be an island.
If there's a T-Rex there, maybe I want it.
Maybe if they're being sensible with it, I would go.
If they were had, if they had just like the herbivores.
The friendly ones.
the smiling ones.
Wasn't it like Puerto Rico?
Where was Jurassic?
Yila Nubar or something?
Yeah, Yala Nublar.
Like, fake.
What ocean was it supposed to be?
Probably Caribbean.
I'm going to look it up.
I'm going to look it up.
America.
Yeah.
Because I think it was like off the coast of South America or something.
By the way, Jurassic Park was 93.
93.
My birthday was 94.
The Jurassic Park porn.
My birthday.
You had a Jurassic Park birthday?
That's rad.
That's right.
What does it get?
That's rad.
I had it like the year at 94, I think.
Maybe it was 90th, whatever, but I was like 9-10.
Yeah.
It's Costa Rica.
Costa Rica.
Because those Jurassic Park toys had just come out.
So I got a bunch of those as gifts.
We had Jurassic Park themed cake.
I think it was the year after because I think we watched Jurassic Park that night on VHS.
Pristine.
That's pretty good.
It was such a good kid's movie.
Yeah.
It still holds up.
Because it wasn't like that scary, you know what I mean?
It was scary enough.
Clever girl.
Oh, I mean, when the hand, when it's like so awkward to him, like, it doesn't make sense
that the hand would come down and then you realize the hand was.
not attached to the guy anymore,
but I remember that, like, freak the graphics.
When he said the Velociraptor was going to eat that fat kid.
And he did the, with a claw.
Yeah, that was really scary.
Yeah.
Oh, he, like, pops his button off or whatever.
Well, you watched maybe a different movie.
He goes all the way down.
You watch Jurassic Park.
No, you watched Jurassic Park.
Jurassic Park.
Jurassic?
Jurassic Park.
Dinosaur bones are cool.
They were finding them for.
years and I guess they just didn't know because like the 18 like the 1800s is when like they were
they're like oh there were dinosaurs here before yeah they pull out a dinosaur bone and they're like
dude Xerxes only had one bone so they must have like they must have found bones when they were
like digging other stuff like in the year 800 BC yeah I guess that's how you get like all the
religion stuff yeah because like how do you explain this stuff giants dragons like a lot of that
stuff like well that was something thank god they killed it see now if
If they would have went the dragons route, I would be sitting here believing in dragons.
Interesting.
So what you're saying here is they should have just kept down that path.
Like dragons, these are dragons.
Like dinosaurs, the bones we see.
And in museums, they're like, and their wings were made out of like.
How do I know they're dragons?
I'm telling you, let me ask you this.
You go to an aquarium, you see an eel.
Tell me that is not a dragon.
That's true.
I mean, it's, who am I to say it's not?
I don't know why you.
And also, you know, you guys know this about eels?
This is like a real thing about eels apparently
Eels, like all the eels
go to like one spot in the ocean to mate
and like repopulate and then leave
and like it's just been in the past like decade or so
that like we've even located where it is
or something like yeah eels are all go to one spot
Eels are very weird yeah
someone's like dude if you go here you will get late
I promise
It's the cha-cha lounge
This is where the eels do it
Just some eel down on his luck bro if you just follow me
Dude you'll be able to slip it in
Somebody there is going to want to fuck you, I guarantee it.
Man, megafauna, dude.
Stuff used to be bigger, too.
So there used to be giant snakes and stuff.
Of course they believed in dragons.
Yeah.
That big bird was the moa?
Moa.
Yeah.
How big was a moa?
It was like as big as a giraffe, but it was like a huge, huge.
And like they were like big, thick, strong legs.
They would tear you apart, dude.
You specifically, they did not like you.
And they posted about it.
They'd choke you out.
They saw my girlfriend.
They choked you out.
They were 12 feet tall.
That's insane.
And they weighed 500 pounds.
Oh, man.
I already don't like bird energy.
Thanks too much.
Think about the newspaper you got to get for that.
They even still do that?
I haven't met somebody with a bird pet in.
I don't know who has birds anymore.
Yeah, do people still have birds?
My buddy had a bird growing up.
And from day one, I was like, this is ridiculous.
They had a cockatill.
Cockatill.
cockatiel and all it did was squawk and they'd put a sheet on it that was it
it seems like a bad life for that bird it's such a tiny little cage just horrible you know
there's parents in L.A um they're in my neighborhood all the time they're from or there's a couple
different like theories but one of the theories is that there just be a bush gardens in Van Nuys
and it closed in like 1970s and I think that they just they just literally were like bye
yeah yeah guys good luck dude
Yeah, we're all kind of out on the raft right now.
Yeah.
There used to be a thing called Monkey Island at Hollywood and Highland.
That was just like, this is like in the 40s to 50s, just hundreds of monkeys were just in this enclosure thing and in the middle of Hollywood.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Anyway, that's the animal related.
They got reptile gardens that's out of Dakota where there's just snakes everywhere.
It's like a path.
You can go in this big, like, dome, but just snakes.
Loose?
Yeah.
They'll go everywhere.
They're like all non-venomous, non-concential.
restricting snakes, but they're still, they look scary.
Is the idea you bring your kids?
Yeah, to that?
Yeah, I went when I was, but I mean, still, there's like...
Do they ever, like, at night, do you like laser snake?
Laser up top of them?
Just put one venomous snake in there.
Like Pink Floyd?
I have a DJ.
That would be tight.
There's one venomous snake in here.
Yeah.
Good luck.
That shit, that old L.A. stuff is so interesting to me.
It's just a while.
I mean, it's the Wild West until, like, the 80s.
Yeah.
Until, like, stuff like, kind of got buttoned down.
It's crazy.
We even Doug talking about how Warner Brothers used to be right in town.
I didn't know that.
I guess it still is right in Burbank, so it's right in a town.
Doug was also saying if you see the police, Warner Brothers.
I know you love it.
I wasn't going to step on it.
I didn't either.
I wasn't going to step on it.
I know you love it.
It's a perfect one.
I remember specifically the first time I saw it at the beach and I was just like, that's good.
Was it a towel or like a shirt?
It was a t-shirt.
T-shirt.
Yeah.
I think it was in L.A.
Because the Oregon Coast does not have a huge demographic of people who would buy if you see
the police.
Warner.
In Astoria?
In a story.
That's Florida's like entire economy.
I remember I remember.
Bad bidsches and thing one thing two shirts.
Yeah, yeah.
Big Johnson T-shirts for sure.
Female body inspector.
Oh, yeah.
Bacon.
Armed and hammered.
Absolutely.
Mountain doomy.
It's not a bald spot.
It's the solar panel for insects.
I got what I found in St. Augustine last time I was home that it just said beer inspector.
I inspect your beer.
And I was like, yeah, all right.
Yeah, that's good.
It looked like a formal, like, law enforcement thing.
I was like, yeah, all right, I'm good at that.
Did you get it?
Beer inspector.
I inspect your beer.
Just the case it wasn't clear from beer inspector.
Just if you need to look, you're too drunk to know, it means I get to respect your beer.
It's a beautiful culture.
Let me get that.
Look at my shirt.
You just grab it.
They're like,
no, no, look at the shirt.
It's cool.
Don't worry about it.
Dinosaur bones.
I'm glad that went over so well.
It was a nerve.
I was a nervy about it.
I was going to take it with my next pick.
If you didn't.
I can't, dude.
So I'm going to take something better, probably.
Water's also gone,
even though potatoes get us more.
Well, listen.
They do.
I'd rather have potatoes than water most of the time.
Thank you.
Really?
Probably.
Under most circumstances,
we're at a restaurant.
Hey, would you like some water
or would you like a plate of French fries?
I don't eat potatoes that much.
Give me water in a nice plate of French fries to wash it down.
Yeah.
Glass of French fries.
I'm going to take the Mighty Redwood.
Oh, yeah, that's great.
Yeah.
Comes from the ground.
It really is.
I know where they come from.
They come from the ground.
It's actually Zeus throwing them down trying to hit us.
If you have it, if you're listening to this and you have not seen the Mighty Redwood in person,
you got to come out and see it.
It's true.
Yellowstone.
Or no, redwoods are everywhere, huh?
Like everywhere on the coast.
California and then southern Oregon a little.
The redwood forest.
It's like the Sierra Nevada's are the...
Okay.
We have them in Portland, right?
There might be like...
Like St. John's area, there's like...
There might be like a few of them, but they're not the mighty Redwoods.
You know what I mean?
The ones you could drive a car through.
Yeah.
They're astonishing.
You know, really, that whole area of the country is like really beautiful in a way that
makes you feel small and I think an important way.
Also very, like, last time I was up near there was in
what's it, Arcadia.
Arcadia, yeah.
And it's like you're in fucking Jurassic Park.
Yeah, it is nuts.
It feels so old.
The ferns are like gigantic.
Like everything's huge.
And everything's kind of wet always.
Oh, it's a rainforest.
You're in like a rainforest.
Yeah, it's always wet.
Or the pine cone.
There's a picture.
I had a pine cone that's like bigger than a football.
Yeah, up there.
Could that be the breakup?
Can that be it?
Really, it's my fault for like,
thinking there might be more.
That's not on you.
That was a complete story.
Sometimes.
And it is interesting.
Sometimes I say bad stuff.
I'm like,
it doesn't all have to be funny.
It's just friends talking sometimes.
It wasn't bad.
It was fine.
It was like,
that is interesting.
That's a big pine cone.
But yeah,
you're also right,
because it's not that they're just big.
They're like some of the oldest organisms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
They're like they predate the United States
as a like country.
You know like a lot of those.
Like before anyone was here or anything.
Yeah,
humans.
It's old tree shit is like really,
really,
Well, did you watch them where that documentary was where it's like
It was something about maybe it was one of those nature ones though
The one on HBO
But with like it's like the mushrooms and the the fungi and the
Root systems underneath it's like they're communicating
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah there's like mushrooms that help the trees communicate
Yeah yeah wild
Yeah that stuff is crazy
Well mushrooms help us all communicate you know
Come on right
Come on we're saying picks guys
Has this is going to bar if you can't handle how deep this is getting
The biggest organism
on Earth is a
Burt, a bunch of aspen trees?
What is it?
What's an aspen?
That's different than a red one.
They're all clones.
They're all clones of the same.
So it's like some forest range.
Oh, wait, the biggest organism on Earth is a fungus
in Oregon.
In Oregon's Malhear forest.
Crazy.
And then a clutch of aspen trees.
That's where the Malhear Patriots were, right?
What's that?
That whole, like, Branch Davidian type thing that...
Whatever you get up to when we're not recording, dude.
States secessions
You know what I'm talking about?
There was that
that militia that formed
in the middle of Oregon
I do know what you're talking about.
I do know what you're talking about
you might be right
you might be right.
They might be giants.
They might be giants,
dude.
Trying to find this picture
of the pine cone here.
Is that what you're doing?
Yes.
Trying.
A lot of pictures of young me and Ian
on here,
I'll tell you that.
A lot of stuff I forgot is on my Instagram.
There's a gun right there.
I can't find it.
Anyway.
We believe you.
Yeah.
Cool.
It was a big pine cone, dude.
Like, if you took a football and cut another football in half,
and then attached that to that other football.
You measure most things in regards to football size, right?
Yeah, it's going to tell how many footballs from here.
I'll just take like an eighth of a football.
Like, I'm not, I'm trying not to have any shoulder right now.
It's a long drive. That's like 500,000 footballs.
A lot of good measurements of things in time coming out on this episode.
I don't know what size bed I want.
How many footballs can get in a queen?
Four footballs tall, eight footballs long.
as a as a as a as a as a as a extra point that's you know that matters when you listen to the song brickhouse and he says 36 2436 in your head you're like football and a half football she's got a football leg dude it's crazy uh Alan tougher your second pick um okay my second pick is going to be trying to put together a team here the undead oh yes oh yeah damn that's a good thing I was wondering if that was going to count that's a great one
Yeah.
Yeah.
One day they'll rise.
They really do.
When they do, holy buckets.
Yeah.
I'm not excited.
And even just, not even just the undead, but I guess also encompassing like, you know,
what's that thing where it's, I guess this doesn't count because it's the, the lake.
But like when like they find all these dead mob pits.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And stuff like, yeah.
Yeah.
So just like, yeah, any of that stuff.
Does the other stuff come out too, like dead tigers and dinosaurs?
Like, why not?
Why has it just got to be humans?
Well, there are diseases that can affect only humans.
And I think that's usually how they justifies.
Oh, okay, because like this, the plague doesn't kill tigers or whatever.
Right.
Only kills people.
Did we?
So, like, zombie.
You know, he only kills tigers.
People.
You're right.
People.
You're right.
We're bummers.
You don't kills people.
Zombies, dude.
Circle of life.
Zombie, like, originally was like a, like a, like a magic thing, right?
Like, it was originally, like, you would use magic to summon the dead.
Yeah, probably.
And at some point, we were like, it's a disease.
or it's like a fungus in what's the last of us now, too.
Let's go back to magic.
Go to magic.
Frankenstein was, well, I mean, the movies were always like bolt of lightning.
Science.
Well, that's science.
Science.
That's not, that's science.
A new Frankenstein coming out with Oscar Isaac.
Does he play from?
Jewish lightning.
Jewish lightning.
Frank N. Stein.
Attorney at law.
Jewish lightning.
I've been waiting to use it since you used it yesterday.
Yeah.
Jewish lightning
That's just drag car
It's a sensible
Go to burn it up the corner
Jewish lightning
Jewish lightning
That's good
That'd be fun to just do the entire Jewish grease
Yeah
That was awesome
There's a summer camp somewhere
That's for sure done it
It doesn't change that much
I don't think
No, it's kind of the same story.
You can still get a Hickey from Kinnikowicz from Kinnikowicz?
Oh, you got a Kinnish from Kinnikkim?
A Kinnish, yeah, a Kinnish from, yeah.
Benash, that's potatoes too, right?
Kinnish is for sure potatoes.
That's a good, that's a good dish right now.
Have you had a Kinnish?
I don't think so.
Oh, they're so good.
Yeah, really good.
You own a Shimmels?
What's a Kinnish?
I think I've had it.
What's a Kinnish?
It's like a potato-pockety sort of.
You have the gravy.
Yeah.
I think I had some in Seattle not that long ago.
You may have?
you mave
with the
Scalar brothers
Oh that's
They got a
Kinnish spot
I'm pretty sure
they like up there
That's a kid
They're a couple
of a
Kanishi type guys
Whoa
Hey
Hey I didn't say it
Randy Jason
It wasn't me
I said
I know yeah
That's
Conishman myself
David
time for your
second and third
picks
Okay
second pick
I am
going with
Can I do treasure
yeah yeah all right yeah buried treasure
buried treasure all right yeah that's good that's real good that's good
that's good so you're an oil and buried treasure yeah okay so you're a money play
I'm also building the team yeah yeah yeah so we had a buddy that used to lie all the time
one of his lies he said that his brother buried like $20,000 in T South Dakota and
forgot where it was buried so he just lost I think that's just the movie Fargo
that's just Fargo a lot lower a lot lower dollar count but yeah he would see
spin that to us at lunch and we're like, okay, dude.
Yeah, I think the bad thing about burying money
is it kind of erode, like, it's not good to bury money.
Well, not if it's in a big wooden chest
and not if it's de blooms.
That's what I think of it is treasure.
Not charlaces, de blooms.
Not chalises, de blooms.
Barriers, rubies,
yeah.
Opels.
Emeralds.
You ever buried treasure?
No, never.
I don't, I've never had treasure to bury, I feel like.
I think you buried a little treasure before you got you.
I wish that was the case.
If you just called it that, I just went buried some treasure last night.
Balls deep and some treasure.
I don't.
Is there a lot of buried treasure?
I feel like they sold it to us as a kid.
It's very quicksand to me.
Yeah, we thought quicksand would be everywhere growing up.
Yeah.
It's very charismatic, though, the idea of buried treasure.
Because anybody can get it.
I just watched National Treasure on a plane the other day.
Good plane movie.
Yeah.
Man, they really make you believe.
There was a guy recently, this is, I think, 2012, something like.
like that. A guy did
put a bunch of treasure
somewhere, I think in the Rockies or somewhere
and it was like
someone finally founded them but I think it was like
a multi-year like people
had some hints and like where it was
and it can't be easy to find. No. Got to make it hard.
Yeah and it was like not on any
real path or anything but
eventually someone did find it but and I think it was like
the first step of it was like
a poem that like
talked about different landmarks
that it could probably be in something like.
He, like, spun a yarn.
It's kind of like an ARG or whatever you want to call it.
Yeah.
What's an ARG?
I forget what it stands for, but it's like augmented reality game or something like that.
It's like a lot of times you'll see it for like a weird marketing campaign.
Alternate reality game.
Alternate reality game.
Oh, fun.
Where it's like, you know, it's like you buy it to these rules and it's kind of a maybe larping adjacent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting.
That sounds fun.
Right.
Another Tinder profile.
I think like maybe the buried treasure thing
because like when they find
they'll find like coins and stuff
because like there weren't banks
so like Roman you would find like Roman coins
and like a clatch is that the right word?
Is that what a clatch is?
Because they would just bury them
and they'd be like remember where that's buried
because I'm going to go into a situation
where I don't want to have all my gold on it.
Much like a weed pipe before you go to Canada or something.
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to stash it.
I'm going to come back here.
Just remember where that is.
My arby's 47.
We, a buddy of ours,
found a pipe, he stashed before he went to Canada
and we came back, we're like, you're never going to find
it, and he found it. It was at like some hotel
parking lot, way in the bushes.
He wasn't specific when he buried it either.
I remember him just like kind of tossing it
and still found it. It was nuts.
Yeah, it was awesome. I was very excited.
No, you got to get a scratcher that thing.
Yeah, well, and then even, I mean, you could also say
like, didn't back in the Depression if you were like putting money
in coffee cans or whatever and
in their yards. Yeah.
No, I think there's a lot more out there than we know.
It would be like if you just go dig up every yard,
You're going to find a bunch of stuff.
I mean, the metal detectors, that's a thing for a reason, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wonder what they're pulling in.
I think it would be fun because worst case scenario,
you're going for a walk on the beach.
Yeah, what's the downside?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Either way.
They're never dressed like they want to be at the beach.
That's always the bummer where I'm like...
The metal detector people?
Yeah, they're on the sun so long.
They have those big hats, right?
Well, the big hat's fine, but they're always dressed like a landscaper or something.
Put some shorts on.
You don't understand the life at all.
The fact that you're criticizing it right now is disgusting.
Easy potato boy
Okay
Coming from an Irish
But
And you're a third pick
Third pick
Third pick
I am going to go
I mean
We're doing pretty
This is pretty
Diamonds
Oh yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Souls of her shoes
She had them there
Not the most fun
Concert I went to
in the last year.
I actually heard specifically that show was like, yeah, it was okay.
I went to the one in San, I took my mom to the one in San Francisco.
Yeah, it was.
It was bad?
He doesn't listen.
He, so he did, he opened up with the new stuff, which, you know, that's not what I want to hear.
No, he, I will say.
I mean, you know, he did, like, listen, the boxers, it's, there was.
Were the hits hitting?
But it wasn't, because, you know, he's one of those guys who doesn't like to do it.
And he kind of, like, changes the arrangement.
Oh, I hate like Bob Dylan.
Yeah, so it was sort of like, it was all right.
My mom had a good time.
Yeah.
Her friend had a good time.
I was like...
Does he do Beatles songs?
He's talking about Paul Simon.
Oh, I thought we said Paul McCartney.
Sorry, Paul Simon.
Does Paul Simon do Beatles songs?
Yeah.
That would have been crazy.
Paul Simon probably would have had a better time doing Beatles songs.
Yeah, I mean, he's, it's cool.
It was cool.
It was a living legend or whatever, but it was, yeah, it wasn't amazing.
He, that's a bummer.
Yeah, I would have.
It's a moment.
There's not like birthday.
Well, no, that's awesome.
It's awesome.
But you want him to like, you know, like, we want to hear.
And here's art.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would have been crazy.
Art would have fucking sold it.
Yeah.
If you got art out there, you don't leave one guy like, does he play like Parsley-Sadry in
time, like stuff like that?
He did parts of stuff.
It was like, he did a little bit of stuff you wanted to hear, but it is fine.
I will say some of those later Paul Simon albums are good, though.
Yeah.
Like some of his stuff that's like post.
His big hits and everything, that's the breakout.
That's it right there.
That's the breakout.
Yeah, that album, big, big pine cone.
He's just kind of exploring me.
He didn't have the picture on the front because he couldn't find the picture.
He's got a picture of a gun from my Instagram.
Trust me in quotes.
Diamonds, they're good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You recently bought a diamond.
What?
Didn't you?
Oh, yeah.
He's lying.
They're not.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the ring.
For your effianced.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
First diamond I've ever bought, probably only one I'm ever going to buy.
Yeah, I don't really have any plans.
I got no, no, no, you'll buy more diamonds.
You'd like to think that the engagement ring is the last diamond you'll buy.
Yeah, don't they get another ring, too?
Well, they get a wedding ring, but that's usually just a band.
I didn't know that.
That, to me, is ridiculous.
You can't wear your engagement ring everywhere because it's a big-ass diamond.
I don't, so I talk about it.
I'm like, I wouldn't bother me one bit
if Laura never wore her actual diamond ring.
To me, it seemed so cumbersome
like it would get caught on all my sleeves.
I don't know.
I wouldn't wear it.
His diamond keeps getting caught in my sleeves.
That's why you wear a wedding band.
That's why your button ups ripped.
That's why I got a divorce.
It didn't work out.
Yeah, but I would never put the diamond part on.
I'd just wear the wedding band.
So why can't that just be the ring?
I'm talking about.
Oh.
Because they'd like to feel special
and they want the present.
All right.
Yeah.
I think that's what it is.
Yeah.
And they want other people to see their ring.
Yeah, it seems to be a lot of showing other people.
Yeah.
It's for fancy events.
You put on the diamond, you know?
I suppose, like me and my jeans.
Yeah, you and your jeans, dude.
Yeah.
That's why I have diamonds all over my jeans.
It's like when you bring one of your nice, my wedding jeans.
One of your nicer skateboard.
Diamonds in the seams of his jeans.
People say it's crazy.
If you just put on jeans with diamonds, like all.
over them. Would it be the first time? Oh, yeah. Come
That happens in Elizabeth, for sure.
It'd be so like all over them. Rinesstoneed up
jeans? You never seen that? Not just, I'm talking
everywhere. Not just the pockets. I'm saying like diamonds on your jeans.
Like for real. Like down on the front,
down to the foot. Like the whole thing. He was talking
for real like diamonds on all of his jeans.
I think we got something here. Yeah.
Something.
Not a hit necessarily.
Something.
No, I guess you mean blood diamonds.
because they make the ones in the lab now.
Yeah, they make lab diamonds.
Lab diamonds is the way to go.
Yeah.
But they're underground labs.
What are they made out of?
Same stuff, carbon.
Really?
There's only one way to make a diamond, but they can compress it now.
I believe.
I didn't know this.
They do this now with Scotch.
Like they basically found like the way to like really age things through like UV light or something like that.
Oh, wow.
There's one downtown I think that does it.
They just put it on the beach with a metal detector.
you can have like what would be like a 30 year age scotch
and it's like to them like a year or two or something
that's amazing that's fine with me
I've totally fine with yeah 100%
there is something I mean like about the
like the real diamonds and the age scotch
like the lab diamonds obviously
you can be guaranteed that they're not like
morally questionable but there's something cool about knowing
that it came out of the earth
yeah I'm not into that
There is something cool about knowing
that Scotch was actually in a barrel for 15 years.
That's what I meant to say.
Well, especially with the scotch thing too
because it's like, it's the peat.
It is the ground.
Yeah.
Like, that's what you want to get.
Yeah.
Do you like scotch?
Oh, yeah.
Scotch is my favorite.
Yeah.
Diamonds is a top tier precious metal
aren't even that old, right?
Well, it's not a metal.
It's a stone.
Or is a top tier.
It's like a valuable thing?
Yeah, I don't think it's like, right?
They said the diamond industry.
It's not, it's, it's, it's, and also it's, it's, uh, uh, the scarcity is artificial.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, I know that as well.
Yeah.
By the De Beers company or whatever, just like control.
Well, now we're getting into some stuff I maybe don't want to.
Oh, yeah.
Put out.
Hold on De Beers, Judaism.
Brother, you're going to find a subreddit, that's for sure.
Debeer's Judaism.
When you were talking about, okay.
I was going to say I had a Lafitte Rothschild from 82 when I was in English.
So now you're just bringing up any Jewish, though.
Because our friend is a Rothschild.
I know you've heard of the Rothschild.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rick, Rick Rothschild.
I had an 84 on my 21st birthday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what was cool about it was like taking it out of the case, that's like, oh, this is from 12 years before I was born.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's exciting.
And the label kind of falling off of it because it was that old.
Like that's what made it taste good.
To be fair, you can do that with pogs too.
Last time I was...
Spell it.
You're young.
Yeah.
something to you if you really did have
a mad dog from 22 years ago
mad dog is Jewish right
Mad dog yeah yeah yeah mad dog
It says from Manashevitz
dog oh they actually are it's
Morgan David yeah yeah yeah yeah
Wait actually yeah no way hold on
It's a mad dog is a yeah the MD
Yeah so all right
We're nice
Oh yeah
I have honestly never seen a Jewish guy drink bad dog
How often have you been to the place where we would?
I don't even know where that is to be honest.
He's inside a synagogue.
Deep Brooklyn.
That's what minions are.
Or us in the parking lot of stories, maybe.
That's another place.
I had no idea.
This is crazy.
Yeah.
Bogan David.
There's a subreddit for that, too.
I bet there is.
Alan, time for your third pick.
Okay, I'm going to go with...
You need them on the team, groundhogs.
Yeah, I had them on my list for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Bigger than you think.
Bigger than you think.
Yeah.
Like two footballs.
And I was revisiting and I'm like, oh, yeah, groundhogs are woodchucks.
Is that right?
When you say woodchuck, a woodchuck is a groundhog, yeah.
I didn't know that.
Oh, I didn't know that.
What?
I thought of...
I guess I never knew what a woodchuck is.
I was thought of a woodpecker.
Well, and also Woodchuk, to me, I'm like, that seems more beaver, right?
Yeah.
That's what it seems like.
I guess I never, I just, I never even thought about it.
Interesting.
I've never seen a ground hog.
You never seen one?
I saw one the other week in Michigan.
You see a lot of merry dogs.
Never seen one in my life.
We saw one in Michigan.
I didn't know what it was.
It was fucking awesome.
I follow one on Instagram.
Just scurrying.
There you go.
Yeah, chunk the groundhog.
Oh.
He gets right up to the camera and eat stuff and he's like,
ha, ha, ha, ma'am.
Well, they're not around here, right?
Porcupines eat like that, too.
I don't think they're an L.A. creature, no.
Skunks.
Scunks.
I didn't know that until I moved here.
I mean, I'd never seen a skunk in my life.
California's skunk country.
Probably 20 my four years living in Gwendo.
Multiple just crawling into the sewer.
Yeah.
You see him in San Francisco all the time, too.
Yeah.
We had a big one in our yard the other night.
Skulks?
Yeah.
I didn't kill it, but I told you what our neighbor said, right?
I was out talking to him and he's like, yeah, we got that skunk back here.
I'd have blown that thing's brains out if it wasn't for your daughter.
Oh, my God.
He's a real nice guy, but he just, he was so blunt, where he's like, yeah, I would have shot it.
He's still using a gun in a neighborhood.
Well, he didn't because of my daughter, thank God.
Oh, thank God for your daughter.
I can't imagine coming outside like, Doug.
What time of the day was that?
Midday, I would say.
Okay.
It's not the skunks fault.
Leave the skunk, you know?
He did.
Tell him.
Get him on the horn.
The skunk sprayed his dog, and he was salty about his dog's a prick.
That is the thing that's like, it's so annoying when you have to deal with it.
You know what I learned is they can't just spray when.
whenever they want to.
They build it.
They need some nice film to get them in the moon candle.
Maybe a foot massage will get you there.
What are they actually?
What's the real fact?
They can't.
So it's not where they don't have like infinite stink they can spray out.
They got to build it up.
So like they won't just spray you just because it's cloudy.
So they do no, not November basically.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
People do that?
Yeah.
Have you not heard of this?
No.
You never heard about that?
No.
That's so stupid.
Why would you do that?
Why do you think November always sucks?
Yeah, it's awful.
To make Christmas rule, is that why?
My Thanksgiving's so excited.
You're nearly there, gentlemen.
Imagine having sex with all this food.
Wouldn't that be crazy?
Yeah, I'm horny.
I don't know why they do it.
Why does that because it's there, I guess.
Yeah, but that's like, that's different than like Movember.
Or Taco Tuesday?
Not mutting is not like that.
Let's grow the mustache.
Mustache in November.
But like, if you don't nut, that's not help.
It's good to do it.
Releases in Do it.
and everything, right?
Hey, it feels good to me.
I don't know. I'm not a doctor.
I don't got to call anybody.
Showing some x-phrase.
Listen, I'm not even a doctor.
It feels good than that.
You did break your arm.
Why don't you go jack up?
Oh, you want to?
Use the other arm.
Call me in the morning.
Use your broken arm.
Jerk off twice.
That's a struggle.
Lame boy and wet willy right there.
Groundhog is an excellent pick,
and we're going to be right back
with my third pick after this short break.
This episode of all, fantasy, everything, is brought to you by Draft King's Pick Six.
Now, basketball started, started the other.
We don't need to talk about the Blazers season opener, but I'm just saying basketball started.
The NBA season tipped off, and so did Draft King's newest fantasy game.
Draft King's Pick Six is the easiest way to play for big wins, which is what you want.
With every possession giving you a shot at real money, there's no reason to skip it, get on it.
Here's how you play.
So simple.
You just pick more or less on two or more stats.
and unlock the upside, every single game is going to bring.
Pick 6 is available in Texas, California, Missouri, and more.
New Draft King's customers get $50 back in bonus picks with just $5 entry on your first
pick set.
So it's so cheap, it's fun, it makes a game fun.
Hop in there, get involved.
Don't just watch basketball, cash in.
Download the Draft King's Pick 6 app now.
Use code AFE.
That's code AFE.
Play just $5 and get $50 in Pick 6 bonus picks.
Make the call, ride the upside in partnership.
with Draft Kings pick six, the crown is yours.
Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler.
Help is available for problem gambling.
Call 88878-97777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut.
Must be 18 plus agent eligibility restrictions may vary by jurisdiction.
Pick six not available everywhere, including New York, Ontario, void, where prohibited.
One per new customer.
Bonus awarded is non-withdrawable pick-six bonus picks that expire in 14 days.
Limited time offer.
See terms at pick-6.
This episode of All Fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Uncommon Goods. The countdown is on.
Christmas is coming up. It's officially here. You've got to get shopping uncommon goods.
Essentially, they're going to take the stress out of all of that shopping and all that stress that
comes with trying to find unique gifts for people because they have thousands of unique high-quality
finds. You're not going to see anywhere else. All you got to do is go poke around on the website.
you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.
They look for products that are high quality.
They're things that you're not just going to see in the store.
They're like unique, kind of making every gift meaningful.
So when I was on there, I went and poked around on the site,
and I found a little tent for young Maxine.
She doesn't listen to podcasts.
She ain't going to, this ain't going to wreck it for her.
But I found this little tent.
It's like a little mushroom tent, and it's fantastic.
I fell in love with it immediately.
And then today, this morning, before taking her to preschool,
She goes, I want a little tent for Christmas. I'm like, brother, I already got you a little tent. She just doesn't know that. But thank you to uncommon goods. I found it. And then I found some magnetiles that light up, which she's going to absolutely go nuts for. But I haven't seen really either one of those when I'm just poking around in your average store. So that's why it's fun. You go onto the website and they seriously have something for everyone. They have so many tabs for parents, teenagers, anniversary. Any gift and person you want to get that gift for, they have a tab for it. And then
so many options, just scrolling for days. And it's fun. It's just like shopping, but you're chilling
while you're doing it. They make the handcrafted products in small batches. So shop now before they
sell everything that you want. They're supporting small businesses. They want to give back.
That's another thing. With every purchase you make it on Common Goods, they give back $1 to a
nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. So get on
there, handle some holiday shopping at Uncommon Goods. Do not wait.
cross those names off your list before the rush to get 15% off your next gift, go to
uncommongoods.com slash all fantasy. That's uncommon goods.com slash all fantasy for 15% off.
Uncommon goods, we're all out of the ordinary.
Hey, we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything already in progress. It's time for me to make
my third pick and the things that come out of the ground, All Fantasy Everything, Draft.
I'm going to take, because this one was crazy, the bodies of the Easter Island statues.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
Remember when they like, they were like, hey, we should dig under these things.
And they're like, they have bodies?
That is crazy.
They thought they were just heads sticking out of the ground.
And if you keep going.
That's what those are.
Yeah.
Really?
Yes.
We didn't know there were bodies.
No.
When did that happen?
I don't know, but I feel like it was in my adult life.
So we're talking like 90s?
I'm 28.
So.
It's so funny because you're clearly not, you're weathered dickhead.
I'm a weathered dickhead.
No, you're beautiful.
You look like you've been deep sea fishing.
Don't say anything about my red face.
Don't say anything about my red face.
Don't come me ready.
Don't come me ready.
Don't you do it.
Already over here.
What did you?
Ride over here on a bicycle?
That was a lift.
It was a lift with a UV lamp in the back.
Into a headwind?
The way your skin.
There's a Mustang with a thumbprint outside door handle.
I've never seen one of those.
You know how the Tesla is?
You got to like thumbprint to get out or whatever.
Yeah.
This you had to like.
Was it one of the,
those electric mustangs, the new things?
Okay.
Brand new electric Mustang.
And I got in, he's like, you're like a savant, dude.
You just figured it right out.
He just knew it.
Well, there's no handle in a thing with the thumb on it.
Dude, can you imagine being like kind of blackout drunk and having to get into the,
I've had it like, getting out of a few of those Uber's where I'm just getting my phone on.
I'm like, can you just do it?
Yeah.
I am in the back of the town.
I don't know.
I'll be admitted.
I've taken.
It's pretty easy with the thumb now.
But when that was new.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
It's because you can't press it with your pointer.
it's got to be your thumb and then the door just cracks open and then you have to like push it open
that's one of those hey pretty stupid we don't need this this is stupid no we didn't need to fix the door
yeah the door was great yeah it was a solid technology i never wanted it to be just a thumbprint
you couldn't hack the door handle back in the day it could just work now can you can you make it
so it's only your thumbprint can you like switch back and forth or is it just a thought i hope not because
you shouldn't be able to make the back of your car a prison if you should right
If you're an Uber driver
As soon as I decide
You can get out
As soon as I decide you can get out
That's when you get out
The first time I ever took a Tesla
Where I had to like get into it
Was I did this thing called cooking on high on Netflix
And they
It was like a weed
A weed cooking show
So I had just eaten food with weed in it
So I was very very high
And then like the car comes to take me back home
And it was like 30 minutes before something
And I literally, I was like, I had to go around the time and be like, I don't know how to get into this car.
Like, I was so high.
I was just like, help.
I was like, whoa, okay.
The future's picking me on.
Yeah, they're fucking, though you are a waymo guy, right?
You're like, so cheap.
Is it really?
It's way cheaper.
Oh, really?
It's way cheaper.
Okay.
Okay, good to know.
And they're not, I've taken a few.
10, 15 bucks cheaper.
Okay.
It's crazy.
I've taken a couple with David.
it can be you can just play your meet
we were playing Tupac as loud as it
That's cool
Yeah that is cool
It was all right
Hugging the front
Putting him on fake headlocks
Run the light I said
Okay I was in a Waymo
Two nights ago with my friend
After you saw Shibuzi
Before I saw Shibuzi
She wanted to sit in the front
And so she sat in that driver seat
And then it like connected us
To customer support
Because you're not supposed to do that
See I was wondering if you could or not
We had this talk
Because I like
You can't
There's room
to sit there.
And we, yeah, but we felt really bad about ourselves
because they were like, please get out of that.
So you both sat in the front?
No, no, no, she sat in the front.
Wait, whoa.
But you can sit in the front.
You can sit passenger side.
That feels psycho to me, though.
But it was cool because, like, I have friends.
They just, like, put your backpack
with a football, like a football face, you know.
Football, sure.
You love footballs, dude.
We're recording on a Sunday.
Yeah, it is.
Pigskin, baby.
Yeah, dude.
The oblique sphere.
I feel like when I talk
it just really grinds things to a halt
and I don't know what it is about me
what am I do Isaac what is it? Nothing no I do that
sometimes too you do okay good
yeah yeah happens all of us wait do you do it
we should just make a breakout
that's like all the dumb shit with no with zero left
yeah all of our misses like I'm gonna break the internet
do people still say that yeah yeah well they do again now because of this
because of this because we broke the internet
with it. Some people still say it.
It's one of those where you can't, what are you going to say?
You hear someone say it and you can't be like, don't say
a dumb shit like that, but you can't.
You'd be rude. You'd be uncouth.
When you say someone, you mean.
Isaac, bring us back.
I'm winning.
Winning!
Tiger Blood.
My amaze balls, dude. That's such a buck one.
First job was at Chelsea lately.
Right when that went right when Tiger Blood and everything
was popping off and like you could not
they tried to
I didn't but the other writers who had been there forever
were like because when you're in like a late night
room for long enough whatever is like
trending you will just like fucking
strip all the parts out of it as much as you
can because it's like easy laughs
and it was like everything
was like tiger blood and winning it was crazy
you know what I heard about workaholics is they had
a board with all of the
trending things and they wouldn't say them
not trying to they would do it was the comedy
trash fire human
dumpster fire, like garbage
person or like, they would just put them
all down and be like, we're not. Trash ones.
Huh? I'm just saying like popular
like in the stand up in my mouth a little
bit. Yeah. That's it.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Man, I got sick of that. Yeah. Made me throw
up in my mouth a little bit. For real.
All the. Yeah. That's funny. You remember
that one like all the. He ate all the
sandwiches or whatever it was. All the sandwiches.
Yeah. Remember. All the birds. All the birds were
outside my window this morning. Here's
the thing. You know what I mean? Like most people
aren't comedians.
Well, and also, I feel like such an arrogant dickhead.
Most comedians are actually.
Most comedians are actually.
In fact, some of the most popular comedians aren't comedians.
I also, yeah, I do that.
Like, who am I?
Who am I to say any of this?
I mean, amongst ourselves, obviously we should, but it's like, I have to remind
myself sometimes when someone's like, like last night I had all the croissants, you
know, like all the Korean barbecue.
And it's like, you're not hurting anybody.
It's just barbecue to us.
It's annoying.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha! ha!
He whispers.
Ha!
You have to say the Korean part.
I do have to say the Korean part.
I'm from Oregon.
Beaverton, heavily Korean neighborhood.
Yeah.
God, I can't.
Oh, you don't have to tell me.
Yeah, okay.
Trust me, I was upset about it too.
It was even when I was growing up, I think it's even more Korean now, but when I was growing up, it was still hella Korean.
Hella Korean.
All right, should we come back in?
We're back, right?
Oh, are we?
Yeah.
Right when David brought us in with the maze balls or whatever.
Sure, for sure.
Okay.
Sean, time for your note.
Is it?
Yes, because I took the bodies of Easter Island statues.
I feel like we didn't get to talk about that.
I'm sorry.
Look, no, please.
Dig down.
Like, take a look.
They're amazing.
It's crazy.
They got little bodies.
I don't feel like I've seen.
They don't know who did it, right?
That's the thing.
I'm like, what was the, is it manifesting like one day we're going to have really big heads or something?
Like, what?
I don't really know.
Are we getting bigger again?
Well, because people got smaller.
Are people getting bigger again?
When do people get smaller?
I don't know what.
We've been getting smaller for hundreds of years.
No, we've been getting bigger.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So we're staying getting bigger.
Oh, fuck, that really got me.
Nutrition's really good now, so people are getting bigger.
People used to be.
Oh, yeah, that's a little, dude.
Okay.
Little, little.
Napoleon.
Yeah.
You know.
Trummer boy.
Apparently Napoleon was not.
He was of average.
He was a big.
He was all British propaganda.
Yeah.
Because he, A, he like had gigantic body.
guards because you would and then they like they were like let's make the british propaganda was
like we're going to draw them small because it'll piss him off yeah yeah but he was like normal
height yeah the french really been getting it from all sides all sides forever yeah yeah fucking
surrender monkeys they got invaded by the nazus yeah yeah the mangenau line it failed Sean
I know that all right third and fourth picks um going lava yeah I was on my best a great hot pick
I didn't even think about that.
Dang.
Pretty buck, dude.
Don't touch the floor.
Pretty buck.
I'd like to see it.
I would love, don't they just have it flown in Hawaii?
There's places where it's just always burning.
They have it at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.
A big pool of it.
No, they don't.
I'm lying.
I've never seen active lava.
Don't the tar pits have like petrified lava?
Am I making that up?
Rocks?
Huh?
I said it on so quick.
Huh?
You mean rocks?
Petrified lava?
That's all rocks or petrified lava?
No, but there's three different kinds.
There's igneous, and then the other two.
Sedimentary.
D'Artagnan.
And D'Artagnan.
Porthos, Porthos, igneous, and D'Artagnan.
And D'Artagnan, yeah.
Spi-Scrows.
We would get on YouTube holes sometimes, where Zach was a big end of this,
where he'd put like lava flowing over a car or something.
And you just see people filming it like, well, can't move.
That's my car, can't move it.
And then you just watch it get engulfed.
A weed-smoking man right now.
That is a weed-smoking man, Zach just got.
I mean, it's satisfying, though.
Sometimes you like to get high and see how powerful the earth is.
We would watch, you would come over.
We would get made to watch, like, big ships getting turned over by way.
Yeah, like cruise footage from the inside the dining rooms and stuff.
That stuff freaks, that North Sea shit.
Oh, it's so scary.
When I used to look at TikTok, I somehow got on the North Sea algorithm.
Oh, my God.
And it would always play the same like, whee, oh, like the same song.
And there would just be crazy shit happening in the North Seas.
And then those people that live.
on those oil
not derricks
is that what an oil
Derek is?
No, I thought that's the oil
rig.
I thought the Derek was like
the
they're the same
so an oil Derek
just gets stuff out of
the core.
Whatever it is.
That's a ring.
That's a ring.
That's a rig.
Yeah.
Whatever the fuck it is.
The rig is the big one.
Oh, okay.
But they just got to live there.
Yeah.
And with the sea
just going nuts
underneath them.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Igneous sedimentary
and metamorphic.
Yeah.
Ignius rocks are from
cooled magma.
Sedimentary rocks
are compacted layers
of sand
and organic remains
and metamorphic form
when existing rocks are transformed by heat or pressure
like a diamond.
Is there a difference between magma and lava?
One is like when it's in the ground
and one it's when it's out of the ground.
Lava's when it's out of the ground.
If it's from the lava region of France.
That's right.
Otherwise it's sparkling magas.
I climbed Mount St. Helens last year.
Magma is underground.
Lava is erupted.
Pretty buck.
Yeah.
Pretty buck seeing like the top of the volcano
because there's little volcanoes
that start forming immediately.
I didn't know that.
And it's always smoking, and it has like 15 earthquakes a day or something, or a month maybe.
It's crazy.
They have like a seismograph halfway up, is that what it is, where you can see active earthquakes.
It's really weird being on a volcano, and they're like, yeah, I could erupt again.
It will at some point.
Well, why, there's that one, there's a super volcano under Yellowstone.
Yellowstone.
I never know how much of that is true and how much is just my algorithm being like, you watch fight videos, so maybe you like that.
That part's true, the Yellowstone Super Caldera.
What's that going to do when it blows up?
Don't.
Don't.
Don't ask.
It's going to release the best album ever.
It's a jam band.
That's the name of a jam band.
It's Yellowstone Super Caldera.
Yeah.
They're going to tour for 17 years.
They're really good, dude.
It's as much about the fellowship as it is about the music.
That's where you've got to understand about it when you go.
It'll, like, cause really big problems.
It'll be a bummer.
It'll be a really big problem.
I say bummer enough to where the other day, Max, she goes, if someone dies or if you wreck your car, that's a bummer.
Right?
Like, they are a bummer.
She said those two things?
Those two things.
Did you cry?
No.
I was like, yeah, there are a bummer.
You're right.
Because you call anything sick yet.
No, she said she beefed it the other.
She fell on her scooter in the living room.
And then she walks in, she goes, Mom, I beefed it.
Oh, that's great.
That can either mean farting or falling, you know, either one, which she does.
She doesn't both.
I'm beefing in love with you.
That's what the bloods and grips finally said to each other.
Your fourth pick, Sean.
Hatching sea turtles.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, okay.
Fuck, that was on my race.
Come right out of the sand and they are adorable.
If they make it, if they don't make it, they're not adorable.
That's a bummer.
But, yeah, if they make it where they're going.
It's pretty amazing just to see them all come up and just like scurry.
That'd be a cool thing to seek.
It's got to be awesome if you're a seabird.
You know, I'm sad for the turtles.
but, like, you're just, like, hanging out.
Well, yeah.
Just imagine a bunch of, like, buffalo wings.
It's like Super Bowl party.
A bunch of buffalo wings crawl out of the beach.
Yeah.
You're just sitting there like, yonk.
You think about it like that.
Yeah.
And then every few make it to the sea and go into a full-size buffalo.
They're going to be a buffalo.
Good for them.
There should be a sea buffalo.
There's roughly is.
I think there's people that live down there.
We need to rebrand a whale.
The seat, what?
I think there's people that live down there.
You know this.
What?
No, this has come up before.
I think people live down at the bottom of the ocean.
I think that we don't know
so what's saying they don't
They don't
Okay, you don't know that
We're not built for it
Well they're different
They're not built
They're built
They're built
They're literally
They're not homo sapiens
No they're him
They're him
They're him
Okay
Hyms
Yeah they're hymns
A bunch of boner pills
Down there
That's right
All right
Yeah sea turtles
Hatching sea turtles
That's great
Coming up out the sand
Time for my fourth pick
Hmm
More potato
listen they're great
not I'm just
just being a jerk
being a prick I'm sorry man
I'm gonna take ancient ruins
great damn yeah good
I love when some ancient ruins are excavated
that's really exciting yeah pretty cool
and they just kind of like brush it away
I love learning one of my favorite
I know it's not true but I watch this
there's this like Netflix documentary
I forget which one it is
but it's like it's a little it's a little
it's not a little strange it's a little ancient
alien-y, but not quite as
this was aliens, but more just
just asking questions. I forget
which it is, but it's, and it's, I
watch it with my wife, who again is like
a very, like, real
history-oriented and like
things need to be back to, she's like, it's very
analytical and correct mind. So,
she gets pissed off so much, but I, like,
I don't know, it's like speculative fiction. It's just
like kind of fun watching it. Yeah. I'll look up the name of it.
If it's not going to, like, change your actual viewpoint on anything, or
if it doesn't matter.
No.
It's not going to affect you negatively.
Yeah.
To even if it does switch your view.
There is a version of this where some people are like, like people in Africa couldn't
have built that where it's like, oh, you're being racist.
You know what I mean?
Like, of course they could have.
But it's like, this isn't that.
This is like, we don't know why this thing in Turkey faces the same way as this thing
in Indiana.
They were built around the same time.
Like that kind of shit.
It's just like, ooh, it's like a ghost story.
Compare in Turkey and like the NASCAR lines and all that stuff too.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like these, like, very large, basically, like, impressions made in the ground through, like, digging and using different stones and stuff that it's almost like, how did these people even back then see what they were making?
It's like they make, like, monkeys and, like, different weird, like, huge animals.
And it's like.
And they don't have a view from the top.
Right.
There's no mountains around there.
There's no, like, they didn't have, like, flight or unless they did have flight, you know?
Like, we just don't know about it.
Ancient apocalypse is what it's called.
And I have to watch it when
now I have to watch it when my wife has gone to bed
That's the album, that's the album by the
Yeah, ancient apocalypse
It's good, dude
It's good
Everybody likes it
They do a cover of picture me rolling on there
That's 19 minutes long
You really picture them rolling
Yeah, you do
I can see it
I can really see it
But yeah anyway
That's like loosely related to like excavating ruins
I just think it's very and also
The real historians and archaeologists doing
It's just very, very cool man
exciting as shit
I saw something so wild
that like just
you know
you see those things
in real life
that you're like
whoa
it was on
a live stream
of a DJ set
in Egypt
yeah
with the fucking
pyramids of Giza
just perfectly
like they
they fan it
so it's like
the pyramids
are just pretty behind them
and it's just like
techno music
and I'm like
this is not right
no
it should not
or that's exactly
what they wanted to happen
yeah they wanted it to happen
I was just I was like
yeah what if that activates the
Yeah, yeah.
They start...
The beam of light comes out of the top.
Oh, no, put it back.
Put it back.
Damn.
The Sphinx's jaws just going back and forth.
Yeah.
Lot of Molly.
It stands on.
It's only speaking of riddles.
Yeah.
All right, I'll...
Yes, you were fourth pick?
This is for the line, for the defensive line.
I'm going with mountains.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
That's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Any way you slice it, those come out of the ground.
And they look so...
I love how, like...
Have you guys ever been to the new Rockies?
Like, they're, like, more dramatic.
It's like, where, like, hell you ride and stuff.
Oh, the Paramount logo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, they're more dramatic than the older mountains.
Oh, they're not rounded off.
Like, the Rockies that you see in the Denver skyline are like, to me, they look rounded, kind of.
Yeah.
That's erosion.
Yeah.
I like a peak, like Mount Hood, where it's like it looks like it's a point on the top.
Yeah.
That's your rules.
I think I've shared these, like, because...
I've shared these facts on here before
about the, is it the Adirondacks
or the Appalachians?
Yeah.
Where those mountains are so old
they used to be taller
than Mount Everest.
Yeah.
And now they're like,
they look like these rolling hills.
And they like predate trees.
So whatever, is it,
what's in the Blue Regiment?
Whatever's in West Virginia.
They predate, they're older than trees.
So that whole like Appalachian Mountain Range.
They are the same rocks as the Scottish Highlands.
and like some mountain range in Africa
because they were formed
when that was one body of land.
So pangea.
So now like when you go over there,
that's like they're just like the root
of whatever those mountains used to be
and they've just been ground down by erosion over millennia.
It's crazy too because they have canyons in these mountains.
Yeah.
But the canyons are completely covered with foliage.
Right.
And so it's just such a day because I was like
and I, it's weird because I live kind of around
but I think it was called like Cloud Canyon or McLeod Canyon in Georgia.
And the only canyons I'd seen were out here and Green Canyon and everything.
And you go and it's like beautiful like autumn postcard.
And you can you can't see it because there's so much foliage, but you can hear rushing water.
And it's just like it's a totally different, totally different canyon experience.
So I'm saying if anyone out there thinks there's only one kind of canyon.
You fucking open your eyes, dude.
Open your can.
Don't make the same mistakes I did.
don't be me
that's not a canyon
no
it's really
it's really wonderful
I like just love that shit
it's kind of like the ruins
where I'm like wow
it's so old
and we are like so little
like parts of it
and kind of a beautiful way
uh redwoods too
a lot of this
so we're taking potatoes
potatoes
they're old grains
old grains ancient grain
what's an ancient grain
what's an ancient grain
why is that the thing
why is that
ancient and other grains aren't
maybe because it came from places
that were considered ancient civilizations
yeah or they haven't been like bioengineered
ancient grains are like quinoa and stuff right
it's funny because quinoa came on the scene so late
yeah i know it took it's god damn time
it's a marketing term
oh okay yeah yeah yeah it's marketing yeah
they've minimally changed by selective breeding over recent millennia
okay yeah yeah
whereas like corn and rice
have been heavily.
Cornwall?
He's going to puke.
It's like bananas aren't even
really bananas anymore.
That's right.
Yeah.
You ever want to like eat
the ancient banana?
Like a seated banana?
Oh yeah, the old one?
Yeah.
The seated ones?
You want to come over and eat the ancient banana?
Or what?
That's where he went.
That's an insane way to say.
Isaac's in the other room.
What's he doing?
You went to go eat the ancient banana.
Or at least heal it.
But they say that there's like a different,
like the bananas have been so.
engineered, like, but they're sweeter
to make them like better, and then also more disease
resistant. And then there's like old bananas that
damn near extinct, bro.
Old bananas? Old bananas. I had no idea.
How are you, your old banana?
Sour grapes.
David, you're a fourth and fifth picks.
Clay.
Yeah, Clay. Okay. Malleable.
Red clay.
Yeah. Red clay strays. Another band.
Clay Thompson?
Or Clay.
How about Clay Thompson getting with May?
That's great.
That's right.
I'm like, I go, I could not have been more of a 180 of like,
you're one of the biggest nerds in the league to coolest guy I've ever seen a lot of life.
He's always been that, though.
He's like, he's weirdly a cool guy.
Yeah.
Well, you can't, the Warriors is just, they're all dork.
Yeah, it's a dorky team.
Light years ahead.
Yeah, it's like a dorky team and then they got Draymond who's like an enforcer.
Yeah.
But he's like, he's just too wild.
He's from Saginaw.
Yeah.
He's just a dude from Saginaw.
Clay Thompson's...
I don't know what she thought was going to happen.
That's really funny.
At his core, he is a dude from Saginaw.
Yeah, man.
That's really funny.
It's cold up there.
Clay Thompson used to take a boat to the game.
That's what I'm saying.
He's like a weirdo, but he's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
His dad's from the Bahamas, Michael Thompson?
Bahamas, Michael Thompson?
Yeah, his brother plays pro baseball right?
Yeah, cool guys.
But Clay Thompson is with Megan the Stallion.
I didn't know that.
Oh, yeah.
And they've been spotted canoodling.
Okay.
He said that her spaghetti and catfish is the best thing he's ever eaten in his entire life.
Can you imagine?
Wink to the camera.
Wink to the camera.
And he's eating it every night.
He's getting sick of it.
Quite enough, actually.
Maybe she should eat his corned beef and cabbage sometimes.
You know, he works.
Maybe his season is coming up.
He can't spend so much time eating spaghetti and catfish.
yeah that's the thing that I would not have I would never think of putting those together
but that makes a lot of sense yeah yeah yeah I would neither but yeah I love catfish
yeah me too do you have a time for your final pick oh peanuts yeah great call how do they
grow granuts I sound like the beginning of a poem granuts like ground nuts okay
are they in do they have to be plucked from the ground or like in there like potatoes
I thought it was like a water situation there's not like a peanut vine right
Why did you cook?
What happened to you?
What was that? Did you see that?
Are we getting done?
No, I didn't see it. What are you getting so serious?
Well, I was just wondering, I go, I go, it's not like a peanut vine, right?
I just looked at him.
Okay.
Yeah, I wasn't trying to be confrontational.
It was weird.
The eye contact, probably.
I wasn't there, but I believe David, and I think you need to apologize.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, it's fine.
Now he's being magnanimous, but you did.
Is it a peanut vine?
Now you're coming up, me crazy.
Answer the question.
I'll shut the computer
It's a peanut plant
It's a peanut plant
They do grow underground
So there's like a
There's stocks that you like pull out
Wild I never would have thought
I never knew that
Can I grow peanuts in my backyard
Isaac?
Probably yeah
How to grow peanuts in a home garden
Yeah you can't
Yeah
This is the last episode
And I'm gonna say everything
I'm sorry
We're in the peanut game
We're in the peanut game
You can still follow us
But it's gonna be different
It's gonna be good
At new nutbutters.com
I've always thought that boiled peanuts were primed for, like, a bougie, like, put some flavor in there.
Elevated boiled peanuts.
Yeah.
We're going to that new elevated boiled peanuts place in Echo Park later.
I love it when you could put the nuts on the ground.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We had nutties.
That was our, you know, that was our put the nuts on the ground bar.
Wasn't that five guys?
Wasn't that part of their thing for a while?
Are they still doing that?
You didn't put them on the ground, though.
Oh, you didn't?
I think they just had barrels of nuts, but you didn't.
and, like, shell them onto the ground.
Oh.
Some, I find, like, bars or the whole, like,
Texas Roadhouse was a chain.
Yeah, Texas Roan House.
Okay.
When you open that up, though,
because we used to put cigarettes on the ground.
It's been a long, long time.
I went to an Outback Steakhouse recently,
and it was, like, whatever happened with the Cracker Barrow
or, like, you don't even feel like you're in Australia anymore.
That sucks.
That sucks.
We need to bring that back.
Yeah.
How is that under, like, if Trump has to be president,
Can we not get outback?
Can I get a boomerang on the fucking wall?
Yeah, for God's sake.
Bring back our chains.
Can we just have to, bring back our chain restaurants?
If we have to suffer everything else.
They got the cracker barrel back.
Come on, remember when Carl's Jr. used to be like a real restaurant almost?
It was nice.
With those sexy commercials.
Oh, man.
Those were crazy.
Have the tits burger or whatever.
It was like Tim Kardashian eating a burger on a wet on the hood of the car.
She was wet.
The car was wet.
The burger was wet.
It was wet.
And it was $6.
Six dollars, and it was good.
That, I remember, when Subway felt like kind of a nice restroom.
Subway was top tiered.
Yeah.
Subway, Jared really fogled the bed with all that situation.
It was already heading there, but that really ruined it.
Well, because Subway for a minute was like the, there were more subways on the planet
than there were any other business entity thing like that.
And now that's back to all.
Five dollar foot long was a beacon.
No, it really was.
get it anywhere.
That was huge.
I remember it was big for vegans, too, back when, like,
friends started becoming vegan back in the day.
Like, Subway was, like, one of the only place you would go to get.
For, like, broke vegans.
They could be like, I can still eat this.
Yeah.
Peanuts, dude, that's a good pick.
That's a great pick.
Alan, it's time for your final pick.
I'm going to go with the utility player, Arrowheads.
Oh, yeah.
Man, shout out to the Northwest being a kid.
Dude, stayed looking for Arrowhead.
Nothing more.
Really, a lot of misdiagnosed arrowheads.
still.
I think it's an arrowhead.
It's not.
Sweetheart.
Sure.
We'll call it that.
It's an old Pepsi can.
A lot of like my mom being like, maybe that could be an arrowhead.
Oh.
That was, you really took me there just now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You remember.
Yeah.
Well, I see it now because my son looks like a carbon copy of me and I'm like this dude.
This dude's going to need some arrowheads.
You're going to go plant arrowheads for him.
I probably will.
She still got the price tag on it.
Fuck.
Yeah, they bought them too.
They had to buy them, too, son.
Commerce.
Arrowheads were never free.
They had to buy them two is really funny.
Did I skip?
No, I couldn't.
No, you're good.
Arrowheads, that's a great pick.
Yeah.
What did I take?
Oh, ancient ruins.
Yeah, okay.
I forgot to write it down.
Well, they had, whatever the bodies of whatever were.
Well, that was before ancient ones.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
I'm going to tag with my final pick, Mommies.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is this too close?
to the undead?
No.
Tell me if it is.
I think they're different.
Because they're dead.
I have other ones.
They're dead.
They stay dead.
They stay dead.
They stay dead.
I, perhaps, I mean, it's probably, it is.
It's, that's a crediting the dead.
It's kind of cool that they're pulling old ancient kings out of the ground.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, all the stuff that's down there with them to.
Yeah.
You got to get the stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, the tomb.
You got to get the stuff.
You ever seen a mummy?
Like it, like an omsey or anything?
I do think I have, actually.
Did you go to the Tutton Common?
Yeah, I think I did.
Yeah, I went to that, the King Todd exhibit.
Pretty buck.
I think they have one at the British Museum, too.
Yeah, I think that one in the Scottish National Museum, too.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Pretty wild.
Yeah.
Probably put them back.
Probably right.
Take them out, get them some air.
Yeah, then put them back.
I'd feel nuts transporting the mummy.
I know they made a movie about it, but like if you were somewhere where there was a mummy with you,
I just don't think I'd feel great about it.
Like in your car?
In the back of your car?
Sitting a shotgun.
It had to be in a car at some point.
Maybe a truck, but, like, it had to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'd want some layers between me and the mummy.
Or put it in a waymoth.
That's the sarcophagia are for.
That's right. The mommy will get there on its own.
Sean, your final pick.
Lightning.
Doesn't, like, some lightning come from the ground?
Interesting.
I do think that you're right.
Isn't there like ground lightning?
There is.
It's something like that.
Jewish lightning.
Jewish lightning comes from the hand of the ground.
Oh, Jew's lightning.
You're burning up the quarter of mile.
Jewish lightning.
Jewish lightning.
That's the breakout.
Let's get this thing going.
Jewish lightning, Jewish, Jewish lightning.
They'll say your voice.
They'll say, Jewish lightning.
The girls will say, Jewish lightning, Jewish lightning.
Go Jewish lightning.
Saving me some money on my taxes.
Jewish lightning.
It was great.
No.
No, that was tough.
That's really first option.
Is this, I couldn't have gone cleverer than that?
Come on.
Ground lightning.
Go Jewish lightning, secretly controlling the weather.
Jewish lightning, Jewish, Jewish lightning.
That's kind of, yeah.
It's in the world.
We can edit the breakup.
We started it, heavy in the entertainment biz.
We started it, so it's okay.
It kind of makes sense, actually, if you think about it.
Sort of a family business.
Sorry, you're welcome to join us.
But we will.
Make it harder.
Because we're friends, Jewish, like.
All right.
Yeah, sure.
We're an analytical people.
Yeah.
I don't know how much of this episode can come out.
Crap it.
Make it sound like I said all of it.
And then Photoshop also my head over their head.
Put us all on the same couch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Four Jews.
Just talking about Jewish.
stuff.
Colney episode four Jews
just talking about Jewish stuff.
Yeah, I didn't research it,
but I think lightning
some of it comes out of the ground.
Are we going to let it ride?
Well, hold on.
Does lightning come out of the ground?
No, I don't want to do AI mode, bro.
Yes, it can come out of the ground
in the form of upward moving leaders
from tall objects.
Okay.
All right.
Interesting.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Ooh, tall objects.
That's not really the ground.
Oh, it doesn't come out of like soil.
No, it's like ground, like electricity.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that makes it.
That makes more sense.
That doesn't count.
I didn't specify.
I don't think that counts.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Corn.
Corn?
Come on.
Well, stock comes through the ground.
Where do we be without it?
There's normally coming out of the ground the way of potato or...
Peanuts.
Peanuts come out of the ground.
You.
It does.
No, it does.
It comes from a seed out of the ground.
Right, fine.
Here you go.
Corn comes from seed.
Corn stocks come out.
Corn comes from the plant.
Flowers.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, okay.
I'm not the one.
But only the stem.
I always rip the fucking head off flowers anyways.
Corn's probably also okay, and I just feel bad because I took potatoes and I thought
it was special.
And here's corn.
They're both special, bud.
I know, but I want to mind me better.
So you like corn more than potatoes?
No.
Oh, well, then yours is better.
I mean, corn's used more.
Yeah, but that's-chitos thought corn.
Huh?
Wouldn't have Cheetos without corn.
I mean, that's big Cheetos guy.
What's, uh, corn nuts?
What's ethanol?
Corn.
and that that's gas right
kind of
does ethanol dilute gas
I think part of this is the corn lobby right
like legit
oh big corn yeah no it's like a thing yeah
yeah yeah ethanol is just alcohol isn't it
never mind I meant to tell you
big corn he got out about a month ago
he's coming to a party
you have all your money
at bit corn oh no I invest it in bitcoin
fuck
Max you can't go to college
you can't go to college but I got you a nice house
in Mitchell, South Dakota.
Yeah, ethanol is just alcohol.
Look up corn-based ethanol.
Corn-based ethanol.
I do like the fact that the corn lobby,
I wonder if there's some weird backhanded deal
that had a long time ago between the corn lobby
and the entertainment industry
to get popcorn in theaters.
Oh!
When these two worlds come together
to make something happen.
That had to be.
At some point, theaters was wide open.
It could have been anything, right?
Big beans.
I like when hot dogs got in there.
AMC's doing crazy.
I'm pretty excited that pizza and hot dogs are in there.
They got donut holes now.
I don't get corn like that.
Popcorn.
I don't get cream corn.
If you don't have cream corn, it's not a movie.
I eat popcorn almost every day.
I love popcorn.
I went to Gelson's and they had this expensive popcorn in a jar that's like blue.
It was like blue.
And I'm like, well, I'm going to buy it once at least to try it.
It's not as much as it costs more than the other.
It's not better enough.
But it is good.
You know what I like is a popcorn ball.
Man, I haven't seen one of those
in years.
Halloween situations.
Yeah.
Did you look up corn-based ethanol?
I did, yeah.
I didn't know anything about this, but apparently, yeah, it is ethanol fuel.
Crazy, right?
In the U.S.
It's produced from corn biomass.
They're real big on it in South Dakota.
They started to sell it here now.
I would always see it whenever you go on the road through Iowa or whatever.
And I just noticed, I don't know if it's the Sinclair or something around.
Atwater Village.
There's some that are starting to sell ethanol.
The, um, I don't ever need to see someone eating a hot dog in a movie theater for some reason it weirds me out.
It doesn't really, no, it's been there forever.
Rarely doesn't make it to the theater when I get one.
Yeah.
Like it's almost always done.
Oh, you cram it in the lobby.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
I don't need to, because I don't like sitting in my seat and then dressing it.
So I'll dress it at the, you know, at the station with the straws and stuff.
And then I just start eating it.
So maybe three bites make it into the theater.
Yeah.
Rarely one where I'm sitting down even.
You ever just pull off the road?
And I already know the answer to this and get yourself a, uh, uh, before I get
Home hot dog?
Brother, I get hot dogs in Portland
all the time.
I got two over town.
All the time.
There's on Foster and 82nd.
Like going to pick Max up from daycare, I'm like,
a hot dog wouldn't kill me right now.
Might kill me down the road.
It's like, actually it is taking eight minutes off your life.
I will say the hot dog you get on Foster in 82nd is also probably...
It's a legit gas station.
It's just surrounded by prostitutes.
But inside the walls, it's a clean place.
That's right.
No, it's good.
Hot dogs are hot dogs, man.
They're not any better or worse for you.
probably part of the appeal of a hot dog. You're not going to get
a better or worse one. Yeah, like it might be in a gross
place, honestly. Still a hot dog.
What's a big deal? They're on the rollers.
What do I care? There used to be a place
on Northwest 23rd in Portland,
23rd in Hoyt, and it was called Hoytogs.
Yeah. I loved it.
Yeah. I love a hot dog. Can't go wrong.
How do you feel about the Seattle style hot dog
with cream cheese on it? Love it.
I do too. Yeah. Oh, that sounds like it would be
all right. Yeah, it's good. Caramelized
onions? Is that what it is? I think so. Yeah.
I'll miss me with that, but cream cheese all day.
don't like caramelized onions.
They don't even taste like onions.
I know they're onions, so I don't like them.
They come out of the ground.
You're right.
They don't taste like onions, but just if I see them.
I'm with you.
I'm okay with them now at this point, but it's like if I can avoid it.
I can handle them cooked more than raw onions, I can probably not handle too much.
Get out of my face with that.
Yeah.
I don't need that.
Give me a shallot.
Yeah.
I'm trying to be a little shallot.
Yeah.
Cooked onions, though, if I don't see them.
What?
You had a little shallot?
I can.
I don't like a raw onion.
I just can't stand it.
I don't like seeing the purple.
I don't know, none of it.
All right.
I'd love to see you eat a shallot.
You call me up the next time you're having a shalot.
I thought they were,
I thought scallets for shallots.
I thought you meant,
I thought you meant a Twix bar.
Ead the candy guy.
I just caught.
I'm eating a mounds.
You cool,
I'll pick up.
I got,
what I'm doing or where I'm at.
I got Timothy's shallot may on the TV
and I'm eating me, a Snickers.
I'm shalotling all over the place.
Iceman, do you have something from the ground?
Yeah, kimchi.
Oh, come on, there you go.
Sean almost took it probably.
That is a great.
Yeah, that's awesome.
That's a great pick.
Yeah.
That's a great pick.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
To recap, David, you went first.
You took oil, berry, treasure, diamonds, clay, and peanuts.
Alan, you went second.
Those are all those guys with spoon who are going to chucked on.
Barry treasure?
John, run.
Barry treasure is pissed off.
B' tea.
Barry Treasure thinks your pants are too nice
Alan you went second you took
Gold the undead groundhogs mountains and arrowheads
I went third I took potatoes the mighty redwood
the bodies of Easter Island statues ancient ruins and mummies
Good tongue
Sean you went third you took water dinosaur bones lava
hatching sea turtles and flowers God water
That's what was great
Water was really good
It's what we'll wage the wars on
I like that we didn't have to differentiate between
between like trees or plants or like we just yeah there was one tree on there uh we left some stuff
on the board naked mole rats but we had ground hogs so i was like that right covered very dogs
come out of the ground they kind of just stay in there i think you're right i think they stay in the
ground or is that just ground that turns into coral no because it's a coral's like a living
thing yeah okay what about like a sea an enemy would that count i was trying to get in the water
a little bit like that they're like the things that look like belly hair floating in the water
at the bottom that comes from the ocean floor yeah yeah yeah
Okay.
Old swords, but we kind of covered that.
ICBMs, intercontinental ballistic missiles.
That's true.
We can come out of the ground.
I was going to say hot springs.
Hot Springs.
Hot springs.
Yeah.
Is there a good hot spring around L.A.?
There's one that's kind of near more the desert, apparently.
That's kind of like a hush-hush situation.
I'd love to get myself into a hot spring.
Oh, actually, wait.
There is one.
There's literally a hot springs in CREA town.
It's called Beverly Center or Beverly,
And it's a hot spring?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I went to the hot springs like a month ago.
It was a great time.
Right before we left Colorado.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so much fun.
Colorado, Oregon has a ton of them.
Yeah.
We did it where we like stayed in the hotel and then you go and come back and got like the private tub at night.
It is awesome.
I think Oh hi might have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, say oh hi.
To the podcast end.
It is up with your picks.
All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com.
Shout to everyone on the AFE Patreon.
Thank you so much for holding this down.
On the Patreon where you can find live episodes,
mailbag episodes, auction drafts,
this or that episodes,
all sorts of bonus content for less than the price of a cup of coffee.
Pretty cheap.
And also there's like 700 posts on there by now.
There's so much stuff.
So if you join right now, 700 more hours of us talking.
I've...
Or good things.
I mean, whatever you want.
There's crazy with nunchucks, right?
There is.
My special's on there, by the way.
I put that up.
Oh, that a bad.
Just to, yeah, so it's up there if you want to watch that.
I'll put an unreleased special on there.
You have an unreleased special?
Yeah, I just filmed an hour in Portland.
Well, I didn't even film it.
Randy came out, I think, and, like, filmed it.
Scandalous Randallet.
Scandalous Randallet.
I didn't intend to put it out, but I just haven't.
It looks really nice.
If you ever want to, we got the upside to throw up there, too.
I don't even know if we can, but I got it.
We own that again, I think.
Yeah, maybe we can.
yeah we can it's enticing it's just it's sitting there if you ever want to we'll see well set a goal
yeah and if we get above it we'll put the upside up my unreleased comedy central pilot
david's on it sean rode on it david and sean wrote on it i'm in the sketch i'm in the
background and sketch we're all in it yeah we're all in it yeah sam jays in it yeah
Morgan murphy yeah i mean al has some yeah shot to super release riset on the one
Shout to the A.
Shout to the A if he's slackening.
Shout to the A if he's subreddit.
Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Shout to Frankie Ocean, Sid, the dude,
Hajie Beats.
And more important than all of that.
Tune again next week to another brand new episode
of All Fantasy Everything.
Jewish Lightning.
Yeah.
That was a HeadGum podcast.
What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris.
And Hannah Simone.
And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum.
Now here's the thing.
Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl.
And we really get into it.
Like, we get up in there.
We get up in there.
You know, we reminisce about our times on set.
We share behind the scenes tea.
We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years.
We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.
That's not true.
We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet.
I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez.
We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay?
Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson,
Max Greenfield and Damon Wayne's Jr.
And your dad.
We talk to your dad on this show as well.
Make sure you subscribe to the mess around
wherever you get your podcasts.
New episodes drop every single Tuesday.
