All Fantasy Everything - Things That Go Bad (w/ Katherine Blanford, Shane Torres)

Episode Date: March 5, 2026

There's A LOT of hand-holding in this one. If you're just listening, I'm sure you can feel it through the audio.Guests:Katherine Blanford (@itskatherineblanford)Shane Torres (@shanetorres)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything. The podcast of Fantasy Drafts Anything and Everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting Things That Go Bad. Our guest today, what? Why are you looking at me like that? I'm just waiting for it. Our guest today are friends and comedians and hosts of the Coastal Idiots Podcasts

slash video experience. Catherine Blanford and Shane Torres. Thanks for saying her name first. I was first. I immediately clocked it too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I should call yourself Shanthrin Blath, Blanford. Yeah, but mostly it's my name the whole time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you throw in the Shan. Shan. Okay. Catherine. Chathrin? Catherine. Catherine.

Maybe it's mostly me where Shane. Shane. No. Shane. Kane. Kaye. Cain. Bland.

Catherine. Cain's the wrestler. Shane looks like sometimes. Catherine. Catherine. Catherine. Catherain. Tornford.

Torneford. I'm your host, Dean Carmel, and with me as always. I'm a friend of the comedian, Sean Jordan, and David Boren. Shatherin? I love Shatherin because that does sound like a French diarrhea. Yeah, Chathorine. Oh, that's not how it sounded me at all. A shatherine to my toilet bowl.

I thought it was like, sounds like someone you asked if they beat the rugs last night. Shathran? Chatharind, you beat them rugs? Chatharine. Chathrin could be like from Canterbury tales, like the word for diary and canterbury tales. Chathrin. Yeah, like Edvin Chatharind to the, I don't know. Edwin diarrhea.

What are they pooping back then? Shane, what are people poop in back then? Where? What? What? Oh, holes. Holes. Oh.

Yeah. Well, shit holes. Yeah. Walls. Whatever. My hair still suck. I can't stop thinking about it now. I really sorry.

I hate that I did that. Right before we started. David was like, Sean's hair sucks. I think what's crazy is seconds before. I was thinking it looked cool. So I don't know what that says. I thought you looked like a... I didn't do it either way.

I just got out of the shower. Hey, let's try sand swoop. Can we try... See how you kind of have a wave? Yeah. Oh, no swoop. Yeah, let's try... I thought you were telling me a new style.

That looks cool. Could we try Chatharind? Yeah, let's try Shatherin. Let's do middle part and just... And no volume. Middle part doesn't work. I used to do it. Like Eddie Furlong, middle part.

When did you do a middle part? middle school because you weren't middle school I'm doing a high part then I did a two years of college part anyway as long as it's all right yeah I think it looks good I'm sorry it sucked that I did that

I don't like it I don't want to look stupid your hair never look stupid that's fair yeah Shane's hair looks stupid let's talk about that always

you go always always It's not like a different thing today. It ain't been different for 20 years, sister. It's shorter than it used to be. It is shorter than if you do it with me when it was longer, you would have hated it more. I know.

And that's probably hard for you to imagine. I know. I remember longer Shane. Longer Shane? Yeah, that's what I call you. You ever heard of brush it? No. Sounds like someone's ripping a pillowcase.

A cat in heat. I'm glad they're going off. It does sound like a false. only artist doing someone walking through snow it had been a long winter in Minnetonka are you happy you woke up for this? I'm just so sad I couldn't pay for Catherine's parking before I needed 40 cents honey

She goes she goes do you have any coins It's not taking cards and I go no She goes well okay It just takes off the phone like I did something wrong It is funny to see somebody answer a phone call and be like I don't have any change. Over the phone is like a gentleman.

Or like, like, did you take, did you put one in this pay phone? Yeah. You have to have damsel and distress coins with you at all the time. I'm so sorry.

Well, when you're a damsel, let me know. Damn. Damn. Damn sale. I see. I see.

What is it damsel? I don't know. I was just thinking that. A dame. A young. A young dame. A young dame. A young dame.

Right? Is Dame bad to say? No, I thought... She was a young dame. Dam. She didn't have any coins. Let me look. Oh, Dame Judy Dench.

Yeah, Judy Dench is a... Oh, it's a title. Is it like Sir Outt and John Dame... Is it a girl Duke? I think she's a girl soldier. Game is like a sir. Like for ladies. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's like the equivalent of a knight. Yes. Sounds a lot more condescending, though. Damsle in distress like parents... To king? It's got to be related. Damsal to Dame.

It just says young, unmarried woman. Oh, it's not that young. It's not that young. Not in LA. You're not that young? I thought you were super young. Pretty crunchy. My insides are pretty crunchy.

You know what I was saying about? You remember when we were in Minnesota together? Yes. No, Montana. Montana. I talk about that gig all the time. People go, what's the weirdest gig? It was me and you in Montana.

And all of Montana. Were you riding her? And the hotel had mirrors on the ceiling. And there was mermaids in the bar. Oh, my God. The weirdest thing about that hotel was that there was live mermaids in the bar. Like the swimming down? Yeah.

Oh, that's crazy. But in Montana. But in Montana, so far from the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. My joke, I remember, I go, I'd expect you to have centaurs before mermaids here. That's right. That's what they did.

They freaking lost it. that guy from January 6th that told the lectern showed up. There was a lot of guys from January 6th. Oh, brother. Yes. That was the meeting. They got a sign in the bar that says it's January 6th somewhere, right?

You know it's a crazy gig when there's all these bars they tell you to go to, but then they tell you not to go to? They're like, you should go to Cowboys after this. And then the other guy's like, no, they'll kill you. I want to go back to the mermaid bar. We went to the mermaid bar after. No, first of all

You drank red wine That's what I remember about it Because I don't think No, this is not a bar Touch a class in Montana There might be a little dust on that bar They had to blow it off to give it too I did puke for three days after that

Yeah, we got pretty drunk The Now the mermaid Waterways is the pool During the day Okay For children and families Okay

But they built the bar underneath it And then built the window So the mermaids could go down And then what they said sometimes is the owner of the hotel does custom make each mermaid's tail. That's right. So you're in like a basement bar with mermaid like. Well, it's not a basement. It's a funny part.

It's not a basement. What? And it is like it gets so. So more weird. It's an above ground pool then? Matt, what? Above ground pool then? It's like a third floor maybe pool.

Is there a time when the bar is open during the day when you can just see kids swimming around in there? Yes. Don't like that. What? Yeah. No one like that. You can sip in kids' feet. That's bad.

Yeah. It was a weird scene. They don't have some curtains. They could just put over the children's feet. A decent. Over the skin. Before you get in the pool, put your bathing pants on. Craiden, before you get in the pool, put on this bathing skirt.

Also, do you remember the people we were hanging out with were like kings and queens of the town? That was my favorite part. They like ran the town. Wow. There was a mom and daughter duo. Yeah, we're beaut girls. They had oil derrick's tattooed. Yeah, the rigors right here.

Wow. And they went and they go, they go, we got, I mean, giant, their whole forearm. Like the snake with the bad, with the Republicans of Harry Potter. Sure. And slithers. I think you're talking about the don't tread on me snake. No, no, no. Remember they would have, remember all Voldemort's guys would have it?

So the mother-daughter had the huge oil rigs right here. And they said they got them because in Montana, they don't need police. they take care of it themselves. Isn't that what they say in Yellowstone? Exactly. That's two of these ladies were were Yellowstone ladies. That's awesome.

That was fun. It was so fun. Wait, we forgot. There's a pet store. We forgot about Jacks. Oh, shit. In Montana? This is Great Falls Montana.

Yeah, Great Falls. That's what it was. I think Jacks, there's a pet store you walk in. There are full-size huskies and fish tanks. Like, the saddest thing you've ever seen. They put stuff in tanks in the. that town. Dogs and fish tanks?

Dogs and fish tanks. Horses driving carriages. I think they do need the police. They let women vote too. It's crazy. I don't like this one bit. Yeah. Well, there's monkeys in the back.

You remember that? Yeah, it was a... You could hardly see them because they kept throwing their poo on the... Really? It was such a weird... It was like a fever dream. Because it was only one night, too, right? We just did...

I think we did one show. One show, and they paid us a bunch of money. Is this last best? What is it? No, no, last best is in Bozeman. In Bozeman, okay. And that's like a weekend. This was just one night.

And I feel like it was, I feel like Buck Cherry was coming the next week or something. For sure. Yeah, it was. Are you a big Buck Cherry? My mom likes him. It's like, not a joke. What's the Buck Jerry song? You're crazy bitch.

Yeah. Come on out. Get me down with it. Get it all. I don't know. And then he does this a lot. You know what's crazy? Buck Cherry?

That song is like Shane freestyling a lot. They say the favorite artist. They say the same stuff. It's pretty much. We pretty much, we have a lot in common. Shane likes to dance. If you ever know, I went to a music festival. Shane likes to dance with, he's got, he gives himself T-Rex arms when he dances.

Oh, he gets way up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Buck Cherry, you're crazy bitch. It's a good T-rex. We wore a lot of mushrooms. He does the gun thing too. Yes. Yeah.

I'm having fun. I'm fun. You're having fun. You're very fun. Sean Cougar, Melon, Jordan is here. Where does this come out? 26th of February. 26th of February.

I'm Cs in New Orleans in two, three weeks. Three weeks. For God's sake. For the love of Christ. Going to get crazy, bitch. Are you going to get crazy, comma, bitch? I'm going to crazy bitch one of those bars. What is that?

One of them. And I'm in a crazy town him. Have you ever danced on a bar? Come on. I've done some stuff on the bar. I don't think dancing is. Cocaine? Hand stuff?

Who else is here? David Bore. Cool guy jokes six seven on Instagram. Is there any more people can see you? No, I'll be in New Orleans with you guys. We're all going to be in New Orleans. It's going to be great. Shane Torres is here.

I will also be in New Orleans. Yes. Yeah. What are you guys doing New Orleans? Don't hold my hand like, but no one's going to believe. I'm not. Sean and I hold you

hold his hands all the time. I only nice in front of the camera. Glad to see it happen on another couch for it. Get your claw off me. Shane and I, we're a TLC couple. We only embrace in front of the camera.

Oh, man. That's so funny. John and Keith was hate. We're definitely of like a fucked Southern charm. We're going to go to Miss Patricia. She's having a Harry Potter part. I'll be there Come see us in Moon Tower

We're doing our first live coastal Party at the Moon Tower And then shanascom On all that stuff All right Catherine Blanvert is here Dude I think I'm gonna be in New Orleans The end of February though

Sports drink Yeah That's where we're gonna be They do it right I was just said a couple weeks ago It's so fun Is it fine? It's an independent club right

It's run by comic Yeah I love a club run by comic It's the best He's not a comic. He's just a tall man. He's just a great dude. I don't understand now.

He's about 11 feet tall. He's probably 11 feet tall. He's the best attitude you're ever going to meet, especially of somebody who runs a club. The food there is good. The drinks are good. Everything's good. He's literally said, this isn't a real business. Just take whatever you want.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I did. Yeah. It's amazing. You'll have a good time. Wow, it's so fun. How, is it's a big room?

No. No. Good. But it's like, it's New Orleans. So like, you don't need. It does selling tickets there's, you know, it's not. the easiest thing. Excellent.

Yeah. So what I'm saying is the small room will pay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good. I love a nice-ster. You're competing with the sounds

of hot jazz. And titties. And titties? Titties and hot jazz. Who are the biggest sellers in this country? Comedy can only hope to come in third. My show's going to feel like that.

All my assets are tied up in both. I'm not liquid right now. It's all in hot jazz. Can you guys cover me for dinner? I'm all tied up and tities and hot jazz. It's going to take off soon. Jazz is coming back. Tiddies and Hot Jazz was your failed Hooters.

All the parts were there. It was all in play. That was the flavor of the sauce. Yeah. Tis and Hot Jazz. The problem was it was Tenders not Bown in. Yeah. Then we started Booters and then everything took off.

That's what. Never bone in. Never bone in. No, always bone in. Always boned. Always boned. Ever not boned. You hear that?

Yeah. You hear that, Coach? You enjoy a chicken nugget. Yes, I do. Everybody says it like it's going to make me cry. I love chicken nuggets. They're great. You want to put something in this pocket? The fuck's wrong. I'll put a chicken nugget in there and eat it later because I love them. Just noticed it.

I don't like chewing on the bone. I'm not a barbarian. I will do it, but I don't need to. You're not a barbarian. Necessity is the mother of invention, my friend. Take the bone out. Make me eat the whole thing. You got quite pale thighs to have this opinion. You ain't seen nothing yet, Lantford. You ain't until we start drafting.

Have on. teal under leggings preaching about boneless he is Mr. I am my own man right now I'll get my fucking hair back down there David you want to talk that shit

when you see it now when everybody sees it now that sucks he looks like a team to me this is Rihanna umbrella it is a Rihanna umbrella it is not that it is not that

David I look like Rihanna don't I I just go to a coffee shop You guys think I look like Rihanna You look like a sketch in a post office now I'm trying to see what Dave was saying Let me in We know very little about the suspect

Dave was recently in a helicopter You didn't talk about this on you yet Yeah I was in a chopper Chopper It was awesome You went to Catalina Yeah yeah yeah I want she so she's

It was my Christmas present But she was like don't do anything The 7th and the 8th Yeah And then she didn't tell me Anything which was pretty cool Like that. And then the morning we were driving, and I didn't know the whole time we were driving,

we drive out to Long Beach and I was like, okay. You're like, we're going to go see the Long Beach of All Stars. I didn't really, I didn't really think about it because Isaac went to Catalina last year. Yeah. And when Isaac went to Catalina, I told Alana, I was like, we should go to Catalina. That'd be fun. And she's like, that's awesome. Yeah, and then just never said anything.

And then even when we pulled up, I was like, what the fuck? Because it was only a night. So I knew we weren't going on a cruise. cruise. Right. So I didn't put Catalina together. We had gone whale watching a couple months ago, so I was like, maybe we're doing that again. Yeah.

And even at the end, I was like, why'd you park at the helicopter place? Oh, wow. Yeah, like, to the very end, I didn't get it. And then she was like, because we're taking a helicopter. Wow. And then it clicked. I was like, is this why you asked me how much I weighed? How did she finesse that?

Because I was a fucking idiot. She was waiting me to get out of bed and put a scale. Right underneath you. No, she was just like, how much do you weigh right now? I was like, I don't know. Yeah. I thought she meant like, oh, you're doing really good, babe, keep it up. Nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even, I didn't even. Did she follow it up with that conflict? Or was she like, cool, thanks. Yeah. No, she didn't even. That's what I thought. Yeah.

Why do you think I was at the gym at 545 this morning? That's why. She says something like, it's kind of putting both of us at stake. Yeah. You're still giving you nothing. Yeah, you don't want to fudge a helicopter weight. No, no, no. You can get away with a price.

Private Jets. Yeah. Really? Oh, do you guys lie about your weight on private Jets? I don't lie. I like everywhere.

I don't care. Yeah. I estimate. I estimate on a PJ. But either way, yeah, so we show up and then we're going in a helicopter, which is so dope. It's like 20 minutes from Long Beach to Catalina Island via helicopter.

It was us and two other couple. One couple kind of seemed like they were breaking up. What? You didn't know the couples? No, because they have to put, it has to be, it's four people minimum.

for the chopper trip. So it was us, this couple, and then this mom and daughter, I think. And the funny part is, when you land, they're like, okay, you land over here. It's like a mile and a half walk to the town. We can call you a cab if you want to do that. If you want to eat at the restaurant,

they'll give you a shuttle. That big, like, famous restaurant? No, no, no, not the one up on the hill. This is like down around the corner from the town. Yeah, yeah. And the couple that looked like they were breaking up were walking into town. Whoa.

They didn't even call the cab and we were like, oh, they're not going to make. And we didn't see them the whole time we were there. Damn. But we were in the chopper and it was so cool. They're playing easy listening music in the headphones. That's exactly what you want. Which I thought that they had to keep that clear for emergencies. Like we put on the headphones and then you're just like, is this Bruce Hornsby?

Like I didn't know they had music in the chopper phones. But at one point we're flying and the guy like banks hard to go look at a school of dolphin. Whoa! And I was like, this is the coolest shit ever. That's awesome. Yeah, it was really, really fun. We took the ferry back. Did you take a helicopter at Catalina?

I did not. Broke piece of shit. Oh. Oh, my God. Catalina peasant. You get out of here, you Catalina peasant. You had to swim back. My friends did book the VIP section of the ferry, so they were inside, and I was the only one who was outside.

No. They don't allow you inside without paying more? They don't sound like friends at all. We were Jen pop on the way home. We didn't go in the thing either. You're a salty sailor man, dude. It's way cooler on the outside. Yeah, it was great.

We should all go to Catalina Islands. I would love to. You got that wind-swept hair you have right now? It's perfect. It's more like a hand-swept hair. He's got a tunnel. He's got a portable tunnel at his house. I would be surprised if you had a wind tunnel.

The Beyonce tunnel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isaac and I just with like hand swept hair.

Maybe don't include yourself in this. Wow. Now my feelings are. How'd that happened? We were being mean to you and Shane. Let's keep it that way.

Calm down. Catherine, where can so people can see you in New Orleans? Where else can people keep track with all Catherine Blamper? Yeah.

You got a busy schedule coming up. Okay? I'm all over. And you can find all of those. all over the liquor starts Tell them, sugar

You tell them You tell them right now A red wine in there I get nervous When you hold my hand like that I don't like when you hold it up down Oh like this That's good

That's intimate No this feels like You're I gotta be quiet I'm saying too much What do you guys If you do like the beast With two backs

Like do What if you hand fuck The pinky like that We do like that We interlace In reverse This might be the first time someone's held hands like this. This specific way?

We go to war with me, brother. Happily, brother. I will stand with you on the fields of battle, father, brother. I don't think that's a wartime grits. I don't know. I think that's what happened to end the war, and this is the result of a bad surgeon. I think they fought the war so people wouldn't grip like that.

My fingers hurt, brother. My fingers hurt as well, brother. My knuckles are white, brother. It looks like Quato's hand from total recall. The only thing that would ache more be to not hold your hand next to mine. On the field of Battle Brother. If I go like this, it looks like Gora's hands.

If you want to see how we were holding our hands, you can check AFE out on YouTube. Yeah. And Ian's Adidas Sambas. I am wearing Adidas Sambas, which are pretty cooked at this point. I might need to turn them in for some new ones. They're kind of nice when they're cooked, though.

Yeah. Are those like converse's rare, they're cool if they're worn? I don't know. I don't know. I think, yeah, but there's a point. Converse worn down to the nub is. fine. I'm reaching a point where I probably, and they're like 60 bucks. Yeah, they're really cheap. Yeah. It's the in-between of

it's like haircut. Right now they're like, hair's too long or too short. I'm also there with my hair. Yeah. I was saying I think your hair looks cool though right now. Oh really? Thank you. Kind of the opposite of Sean's situation. I appreciate that very much. Sean's hair sucks. Is it just because I've been so close to Shane for three days. My hair starts to suck. Oh, Catherine has that too. That might work. I mean, let's be honest. Her hair. is fabulous. I got to have my left in the back. My little real house.

What's a wet? A row of someone else's hair. Oh, you got to sew it? Yeah, I got a few different contraptions. What's holding that thing together? You got a bumping? I know. It does get pretty big because I have 12 hairs on top. And they get pretty proud.

Catherine actually does take flights to get her hair done in Atlanta. Really? Atlanta. You go all the way to Atlanta. And then back. You're like an R&B singer. Yeah. That is something.

Yeah, she's just like an R&B singer. You and Carrie Hilsen are on the same flight. I don't know, seven rings. Is that somebody? Atlanta to get her hair done? Yeah. Levering a non-team-affiliated soccer jersey? That's also an R&B singer thing to you.

Also bedazzled? Yeah. Bedazzled jersey. Wow. I've dated players, but I never married one. Same dog. What's baby face like? Kenneth?

I mean Kenneth? I like his mom. Yeah. She's nice. She's so sweet. Mama face? Yeah, mama face. So people, where are they following you on Instagram?

All that stuff too. Yeah. Sorry, Instagram. It's Catherine Blamford. There it is. Never ever start a handle with it's. Don't? Because when people ask you what your handle is, I have to go, it's, it's, it's.

And I go, are you nervous? Yeah, it's. I think you're the ice cream like thing. What? You never had an it's-its? What? Oh, an it's-its. It's a type of ice cream based in the Bay Area.

Ice cream cookies sandwich. That's a sweet treat. It's a sweet treat? Yeah, they have mint. They have coffee ones and them just like the plain chocolate and vanilla. You would like it. Next time you go to San Francisco, asking for an it's-its. An it's-its.

It's. I love that. I bet you love a cafe. Not as much as I think you think. Yeah. I love it. I love the crap, man. I've been to a few. God, give.

I'm having a good time. You guys are good. This is good stuff. We have something. I don't know if it's good for us, but it works. Yeah. She does the same thing to me when I'm bad. You guys are like when somebody has a hobby that also really hurts their body.

You guys are like old skateboarding. Oh, yeah. Free you free solo. We're like playing basketball and converse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't stop it. Yeah. Because you loved a ball.

Yeah. I mean, Carmel, I have nothing to promote except for a come to us in New Orleans. That's it. Buy my book. I haven't said that in like a month or an half. Get it. What else?

Same thing. Get your book. Get my book. Watch my special on YouTube. Watch his Don't Tell set. It's now over 10 trillion views. We did it. Woo!

Thanks. First T on YouTube. Thanks, America. and the world. Yeah. There are no teas on YouTube? Trillion? There weren't any other teas?

No. There's barely any. There's a lot, huh? There's barely any billions. Probably not a lot of billions. There's like three billions or four billions. Yeah. Well, there's like six seasons, right?

Blue on Mexicans, the first one. That was good time. First tea on YouTube, yeah. This is funny, we were driving to your apartment. Buy that, yeah. Let me, here, stop. Let me stop you. I'm a homeowner.

Who did we see at, or who did I see at that Gelson's one time? You saw, you saw billions. See? They called the lead. And I saw a bloodline there. too. Yeah. DMX? No, I didn't see it's dark and hell as hot.

I saw who am I thinking of? Who's the, who am I thinking of? Who's the Ozzy guy on Bloodline? He was in Star Wars. Ben Mendelsso. I saw Ben Mendelsohn. Ben Benslellan. I actually only know him as Bloodline. Yeah, Bloodline. If you said Ben Mendelson, I wouldn't know. Who's Billions? Red Hat.

The Homeland guy. Damien Lewis, yeah. Who's Billions? Homeland. Yeah, Homeland. Oh, sorry. Homeland. Homeland. It's Homeland under reservation. Oh, is Homeland Band of Brothers? Claire Dane. Yeah, Homeland's Band of Brothers.

Yeah. My so-called life is also Homeland. Yeah. Oh, yeah, but I think of her more... And then 30 seconds to Mars is also my so-called life. She's Romeo and Juliet. You know the departed is in Romeo and Juliet? Yeah, the departed is also the Reloian.

He's also the departed. Oh, crazy. That guy... It looks like head. But you know what's weirder is so it's a sexaholic. Who's sexaholic? John L'Awozamo? Is in Romeo and Juliet?

What sexaholic? You mean Luigi? It's one of his specials. Or Mario. Oh, we're pulling specials into it now. Yeah. I mean, we're all comedians. I think when a kid is, too, you have the right to hit him in the face of the throat.

Does John Likuzamo say that? No, I just really wanted to get in. I was like watching and then I was whispering to Catherine. She was in, though, too, so I was just like from the outside. We are gathered here today on our first five. I think our first... That was crazy what just happened, and I wanted to say one really fast. You are it.

seemed like ready to go. I know because I was trying to put it together. The other day I saw Breaking Bad in the middle. There is. Oh, that was money. That was nice. We can hold hands nots now. Missionary.

This is a... Oh, God. Sexual handholds. Just clearing the gutters. Is that what you call me? Just clear in the gutters. Here, hold my finger doggy style. This is mission.

Sorry, we're four playing in front of everybody. This is my butt hole. Catherine and I are so turned on right. Good job, on me! This is our first five-banger. If he ever, I believe. No, IRL. IRL five-banger.

Yeah, yeah. We've done five bangers on Zoom. Really? I don't think so. No? I don't think so. This is the first, like, two guests. How much do you want to bet?

All of us. I'll bet you, I'll bet you $10. $10. Do you know you're right already? Do you know that you're right already? Ben of my haircut. If I'm right, Shane can't talk for the next five minutes. We say whatever we want.

Fine. You can just tell us right. We need him to talk. Yeah, I'm kidding. You fucking idiot. Oh, maybe I won't talk. That'll save a lot of time. Our first five-banger at the very least IRL.

You want to put some in this pocket? I got a pocket on my jacket. It's in a weird little place. good jacket. Thank you very much. It's a golden globe's jacket. It's a golden globe jacket. Nikki Supreme.

I designed it. Is it really? No. David's Nicky Supreme. That's what he designs under. I'd love that. I would like that a lot. It would be cool.

A very popular company called Nikki Supreme. Yeah. Cool style. Thank you. Most of you have good style. Most. Oh, man. Most.

That was tough. That was. I just. I haven't been hit on that. hard in a long time. Hey, show her the wedding ring, Sean. Show her the wedding ring. It makes me feel athletic when the underwear puts out.

It's the teal underleggings. I can't get over. The thigh leggings. Is this what you feel like when I'm an asshole all the time? Yes, what I feel like when I'm around both of you. Shut up, Shane. Sorry. I'm sorry.

I just played with your son yesterday. I know. I'm not. I don't do the mean thing. No, you don't. No, I love you. Me either. No, I know.

I know, but yeah, he did a shut up gag. Oh, yeah. The way of determine the, we're doing four rounds instead of our usual five. Huh? Okay. Are we doing three? I mean, whatever. Whatever we got to go to house.

Let's see three. We're going to do three rounds this time. Not five. We're going to do three. We are drafting things that go bad. This was so fun to figure out. I don't know what to pick. Things that go.

You don't know what to pick? I have so many good ones. Yeah. Can we do honorable mentions at the end? Absolutely. We always do that. Okay, cool. Now, the way we determine the order of this draft is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors.

Although I don't know how we're going to do it with four people. Catherine, no one happens. Okay, great. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we're playing rock paper scissors. We throw on shoot. All right, here we go.

Rock paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. No. Oh, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Shake. Oh, okay. David wins.

because he's the odd person. Because there's three of you. You weren't rock. We both cut him to pieces and he wins. And still he survives. Yeah. It's the kind of world we live in in there. Still I rise.

This is why y'all lost the election. Okay. Who do you think y'all is? First of all, I voted, I voted for the guy to won. I didn't lose any election. I don't know what room you thought you walked into. He thinks that I dress cool.

He's also going to lower my APR. He told me all that. The funny thing, I don't even know what election you're talking about. I don't know either, but this is why y'all lost. In y'all's world, two scissors gets beat down by flaky paper. As a podcast, we had one policy, and it was destabilized Venezuela. That's going to destabilize Venezuela.

That's going to throw it a cement slab. We can't cut it out of it. Where are they going to cut each other to death? Although this isn't a month and a half. God only heard of sexual hand gestures on this episode. It is a for an audio medium Be sure to check it out on YouTube if you want to see any in all of these hands A hand stuff that we're doing.

A lot of hand stuff happening. David has the winner as incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. Before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. What is that? I do want to say I know what it means. Rob got me should. You don't need, how do you not know? You think I'm 52?

That was killing me all night. It's like when a roadie rolls up a mic cable. Oh. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, they go back and forth. I'll never figure out how to do it. I've had multiple roadies show me.

I've shown you. It's so hard to do. I've stood next to you and showed you. It's hard. And then you just go, I was doing it. I remember because you were all trumping, you were like, you and Shane that roadie shit. It's like wrapping up a cable is rody shit.

Well, to be fair, we did play roadies in a country music video. I forgot about that. We were roadies in a country music video. I never even saw it. Do you know who Co. Wetzel is? Maybe. Yeah. He has a line that says if your dad doesn't like it, he could suck me.

And that's if he ever comes back. Yeah. Me and Shane were in his video. We partied on his bus. We partied on his bus. They were real wild. Those guys were going nuts. Yeah.

Yeah. It was a good time. Lance Bangs hooked that up. Outlaw country. Like true outlaw country. Yeah, there were guns. Yeah. Yeah.

And then David almost killed one of the Salamanca brothers. Yeah. No, no, no. Accident for sure. 100% accident Basically what means If you pick fifth in the first round You pick first in the second round

That's what that serpentine means David, with that in mind What would the order of the draft be? I'm just going to run the couch On the couch. That is David, Catherine, Shane, Ian Sean That is the order of today's draft drafting

Things that go bad And we're going to get to David's first pick right after the short break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. What is Cracking? Everybody want to take a second. Talk you about the month of March. I'm sure everybody knew.

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Factor. And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed, except of course for coastal idiots. Yes. available both through your audio medium and also as a visual experience Yeah Is the Hanson episode out yet? It will be by this time, right?

You guys got Hanson? Yeah, we got one. We got one. But we're working on the others. Which one? The littlest one? Isaac, the biggest. Oh, that was my least favorite.

Didn't we all, I thought we all liked the baby. We got an Isaac too, all right? You're not special. That's right. Our's rollerblades in the video as well. Yeah. How many clothes? Go ahead.

How many clothes on? How many clothes on? How many clothes are you wearing? Right, now should I count? No, in the video, in the music video. What would you wear if you were rollerblading? I think I would go speedo. Yeah, I like that.

Nothing else. Whoa. What if you fall on a gold jacket. I like that. Yeah. I think you would crush Mbop on karaoke too. Yes. What's Mbop?

Jesus, dude. Isaac, you're back down to Z. Go find an old Bop. You know, Bob. You know, you know, you know, You bet, hey look, do you know Umba? He was born in 1994. Yeah, I know, but.

When did you move here? Tiki-Toc. O2. That was peak Mbop. No. That was not, that was post-off. No. Can you tell me?

97. No, you can't. We talked yesterday. The rat, that record came out. Stop. Bob, boom-bub. D-da-la-bba-bo-oo-la. Oh.

Yeah. Can you tell me? Isaac's got some certified pipes on him, by the way. I could see that. He can't sing. He's a great singer. He can really fuck. He can fucking belt.

He's got two big dick. He's got certified pipes. Certified pipes. He won the fuck one. That's like how people talk about boxers. No, his shit's insured. Certified. Yeah, yeah.

Doubleboard certified Isaac books. Two doctors looked at it. Yeah. David, it is time for you our first pick. the things that go bad draft. Okay. Do we have to take a break? No, we took it.

Oh, okay. A trip to the buffet. Oh, that's great. Because you start with, a lot of times you really start with stars in your eyes. And by the end, you're just like a grizzled, like, you're like, this sucks. What am I doing? Such a good pick. Yeah.

Trip to the buffet. Last night we went to, not a buffet, but we went to Carousel. Yeah. Which is like a Lebanese restaurant in Glendale where we ordered the feast. and it was too much food. You didn't mess with anyone? Was anyone having stomach issues today? It's coming.

Not like, but not stomach issues in the way of like the food made me just like. Big poop. That's great. Yeah, I put in, I made a withdrawal that I will have to pay back. Absolutely. I put in some work this morning. Got it out. I feel like I'm retaining more water than I like to.

I feel puffy. I feel shinier than usual this time of the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. amazing. The food was so good. It was tasty. It was a tasty time. I like it when a meal has a lot of different pasts. Yeah, this one had several pastes.

Dips? Dips, pastes. Like a ketchupy patte. There was a patte, there was hummus, there was mutabal. There was that hummusy type stuff. Tabula. White hummus. Yeah, white and red hummus. We also went with our friend Shocker, who is Syrian, who like, way over-pronounced everything on us.

I mean, by that I mean, properly pronounced it. but like you would say like mutabol and then he would like and what would he say? Ghani said. I was bummed there was no Baba Ginoosh because that's my favorite one to say. I love to hear that.

Then you went to sit there and how wrong you were. We were like, hey, would you pass that mutabal and he would be like, oh yeah, I'll pass however it's actually pronounced. You got to be like so I'm stupid. And then I said that's a spicy mutabal. Yeah.

Mutabah! And we had quail. Yeah, we had quail. We were going nuts. Dad? Live. Quail legs. You're probably picking up

I don't know if you've like clocked the quail energy that the three of us are putting out. Yeah, you guys have you're You have quail sweats. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. LGBTQA. Is quail sweats what Sean's wearing

underneath the shorts? These are quail skin boxers. Oh, God. A trip to the buffet can go It can go bad in a number of ways. It can go like, I ate too much and I have to puke in the parking lot of this Chinese food restaurant.

Shout to high school football. Absolutely. Like legit. Like, Rick Alvarez, puked in front of the old country buffet. Happened to me to a old country buffet. Happened to me at a Chinese food buffet as well.

It can go wrong in... Happened to me in a batting cage. It happened to you at a batting cage. Yeah. It can go wrong in that like, I'm up here and I've put too many of the wrong things on the same plate. Now they're touching.

Now they're touching. Or like, do you ever get a buffet plate and you're like, oh, it's all the same color. is not good. That's exactly what I was going to say. It's not green. Or a whole wet red plate. Yeah.

Oh. What's a whole red. Sweet and sour sauce. Yeah. You get like a general sauce chicken, a red jello. Jellellin have sweet and sour sauce. That beef with the red tits. Yeah.

You're like, why does it all red? Yeah. Some ketchup. Yeah. There's just so many. It's like crazy because they pitch it is this good thing, but it's really just there's so many ways to go wrong. I've been in a long time.

I got too many wear red on my plate. Yeah. It's a beige plate and a red plate. Yeah. Two plates. You two plate it? Yeah. God will hand you two plates in your life. The dessert plate is always where I get the nastiest. Yeah. Where I'm like, I'm trying stuff that doesn't go together.

It's also the least return usually. Like I'm like, oh, why do I get all these little key lime pies? Yeah. Real little, you know? You know, like I don't like a deserted buffet. Now I'm dipping the cookie in the cheesecake. Yeah. That sounds awesome, but it's also something that should be in like a Peter Pan book.

It tastes good when you know you only have four bites to enjoy it. When it's unlimited, you don't appreciate it. No, no. And then do you ever go to like Golden Corral and like get too comfortable? Like now you're making jokes with the meat carver? No? Never you've done that? I usually so impersonable.

Not yet. She just turns away, no. No, it's gross. I don't yes and at all. Absolutely not. No, I've never done that. Just look down. Who's the comic who had Maconoooooozen?

Maconoooozen. One of the great bits. The greatest bit ever was a, can you imagine if you ordered your food the way you plated and all you can eat buffet, what they would look at you like? Like you had to order from a server. So funny.

We go, I'll have a taco shell filled with cubed ham meat. Yeah, I want that to be touching the tabbyoga pudding. Yeah, and I'd like a little ramekin of spaghetti. I want seven fries, but all perfect squares, good, moist mush to them. Yeah, and then go ahead and throw some soft serve on top of that. And then he would go, he goes, and for the second plate.

Like the bit, shout out McInutson, the bit you can just do. for like a half hour if you want to. Great actor too. Yeah, he's always popping in stuff. Awful man. Yeah. No, he's a great guy. He's actually couldn't be sweeter.

Catherine, time for your first pick. Your first pick on AFE ever. I'm so sorry. I feel like I feel good about this one, but you guys are males, but I think you'll get it. Yeah. Your mom's... We're pretty stupid.

Well... Wait, wait, wait. I'm pretty stupid, sorry. The way you phrased it was like, you're male, so I think you'll get it. You're like, well, we're pretty dumb, so I think we'll relate to what women think, too. See how stupid I am.

I didn't get that. We're not the usually highly elevated, intelligent kind of man. You don't even realize you're a guy's girl. And I also cut you off. Sean's real pick me kind of girl. You had it right. Guys girl?

Yeah. Yeah. You got it. I'm a guy. Got him. You're a father boy. You're all of. What is it?

No. I'm a father boy. My boy's father. Free coffee. I'm a father boy. You're a girl dad. I'm a girl dad. Girl dad.

Girl dad. Try so hard. You're going to come out with martini glasses when they're 14. I'm a girl dad. I'm a girl dad. You're going to be a cool dad. I'm going to think I'm cool dad.

You think so? I'm going to be old dad. I'll tell you that. Much older than all of her friends' dads. That's what I say. No, she's not going to, she's going to daycare still, right? She's in preschool, but I mean, I'm definitely older than all the parents.

If you send her to private school, you won't be. So, borrow some money? No. All right. We'll talk. All right. Okay.

Can already friend be on scholarship? Hit him in the face. Come on, baby. It's not obvious. Come on, sugar, meal. That's reverse cowgirl. Your mom's MLM. Oh, that's so funny.

That's so good. You have a personal experience. Did your mom ever sell Kirby vacuums? No, but my mom. You have any. Amway Avon Parties we went to

There was at some point There was like a A daily shot You took with like Ossai seeds That was an MLM I don't think you said that right What about Pampered Chef?

Did you ever do Pampered Chef? My mom did pampered chef That's the Tupperware Yeah like the cooking utensil Pizza Stone is Pampered Chef Oh is it really? Yeah remember they had the big stone

That you put the pizza on But I wasn't allowed Of those parties Really? Too raunchy. Yeah, that we've got too raunchy. I think there's MLM moms that do vibrators too. I bet. Yeah. What is MLM's pyramid scheme just in case anyone's wondering?

Multi-level marketing. That's right. Yeah, multiple-level marketing. But the one, right, the like the Kleenex of tissues, the one everyone knows of MLM is Mary Kaye. And you know the best part is they were always enticed because they said if you sell a certain amount, then you get the pink Cadillac. Which you see every now and then. That's the thing. I have seen them in life. Yeah, and you're like...

That's a psychopath behind that way. Right, right. I think it's a weird. That's like all I think is like, that is a person who is driven and I don't care how much they cut me off. You're just like, give them like, they're not going to let your merch. They're not going to let you merge. No. Just hang back.

I bet their face is painted on like somebody threw a cake at it. They sleep in shoulder pads. Yeah. That is a lunatic That gets that done Oh my god I had a buddy Get into vector knives

He tried to sell us Cut Co knives I feel like that one They get people Right after high school Younger yeah Because he's like I'm not going to buy

$80 knives I'm fucking No one is It's like they didn't The military didn't get them But Cutco knives did They're like

How dumb are you? I almost got I almost got Scammed in one selling prepaid legal Oh Oh, my friend Sadat tried to do that. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they recruit him at the playground of an apartment complex like me? It was this, I, it was this, it was this guy for my job. You look smart? Who would always come in and buy prime times. And one day he was like, you remember prime times? No. Single served cigars that look like cigarettes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And one day he was like, you seem like a businessman. Oh no. Oh, no! And I was like, yes, yes. Yeah. I am a businessman. And he was like, you don't even need to.

And he was like, you live at Hilltop Apartments, right? I was like, yes, I'm currently being evicted. And then he was like, meet me. I came up smoking a single serving cigar to a kid at a playground. Yeah, you were like 19, though, right? What? You were, were you? I was probably 19.

Okay. And he was like, he was like, meet me there. He was like, you live at Hilltop. I was like, yeah, he was like, meet me tonight at the playground. I have an opportunity for you. And I remember I pull up and it was him. him and this dude who had a tie, cornrows, and a long leather jacket. Oh, no.

And he was like, this is Mr. Darius. And I was like, whatever this is. Mr. Darius? I was like, whatever this is fucked. Yeah. And we went to his apartment and he basically just- You got going to second location? I was a lost boy.

And it was just by my apartment. So my friends were at the balcony, so they knew where I was going. Yeah. Just in case they had to extract me. I was, part of me was worried they were going to try to give me to do porn or something. With Mr. Dary? Yeah, it felt crazy. And they found you at a playground and he's smoking a single serving cigar

and he said you seem like a businessman? No, he said that to me at work and then I met him at the playground that night. Oh, Jesus Christ. So I went and they showed, it was basically a VHS of this guy showing us his house. And he's like, and I got rich all by selling prepaid legal service. Which the idea is like a lawyer on retainer, but it was like, I was like, I'm not going to, nobody. My friends can't, my friends are all. getting public defenders.

I mean, they're in the right, they're recruiting in the right spot. They should be selling there and not recruiting there. This is probably also legal, like, I mean, like public defender level legal help, I would have Yeah, I don't think you're getting like a dope-ass lawyer. I mean, the way they said it was like, they made it sound like it's like we got our junkyard dogs ready to buy. You just pay $150 a month and whenever you need it for anything. Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer is going to be there.

Yeah. Escro, slip and fall, like we do it all. You're supposed to go find people who are like, you're going to need a lawyer here pretty soon, right? And I'm 19. Who's going to buy a lawyer from a 19-year-old? It's also not how, like, legal services work where you're like, it's kind of just like selling gift cards to people

where it's like this might cover part of what you need. Like, what if your lawyer takes six months? It is, according to Mr. Darius. Well, Mr. Darius, I guess I ever heard Mr. Darius out. And the guy on the VHS who has a tennis court, You don't have a tennis court. I'm just saying where am I taking my... You don't have a tennis court.

I don't have a tennis court. You don't have a tennis court. I don't have an Xbox. And that's limited thinking. That's single use lawyer thinking. Mr. Darius can talk you out of that. And into a tennis court. You still know this guy?

No, God, no. Oh, shit. Okay, well, if you're in the... No, I kind of had to go ghost on him afterwards because he kept texting me about it afterwards. Yeah. I'm not. Mr. Darius dresses like he has to say...

Like, he says, I have to go ghost. Like the only other guy's going to tie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Let's go ghosts for a while. For sure. And then he just hides his face with the cloak. Mr. Gary's like, I can still see you.

Big Dracula noises. Yeah. And the crazy thing is that like, I was like, wait, so you're just friends. Because the guy was just a go-between. Yeah. So it's like, you're just friends with Mr. Gary. Multi-level market. Yeah, he was, yeah, I guess he was a level below.

Yeah, yeah. And he wants you down here. And then you get. get minions. I get other guys. I call it a downline. You have to go get like 14 year old. Yeah.

Try it to watch the podcast the dream. It's all about MLMs. It's great. It's really, really good. There aren't any other podcasts. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. Oh, sorry, there are no other podcasts.

There's information broadcast. Great. So is this. Listen to it at any point on your phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It almost works with that. You can only get it on Stitcher. Big Sugar, what's your first pick?

For things that go bad is Sean Jordan. the moment he's dropped off at the airport. Depends on who you're talking bad for, buddy. I think you're right. Pretty good time for your boy. The person next to you on the flight. No, no, they have a good time. I have a bevy or two at the airport.

I know it's full of wine in there. I put my aletta greens in the wine. Yeah. He's got a Stanley full of Arbor mist. Yeah. I've done that. I have put... You drink AG 151.

Yes. I think we're low 51. Yeah. You put athletic greens and booze? No, what are those things called the hangover things? Oh, Liquid IV. I put those in booth before. I give you so many of them.

Yeah, but how many you got home? A lot. Reach in your sweatshirt pump. I got one bag. He passes it out like it's like like like like like you said in us with granola. of the school. I didn't land that. I didn't land that. We can all admit it. I don't know how to dress. My hair

sucks. I get drunk at the airport. So what? Ten toes today, baby. I'm standing on it. You are going to take a couple of minutes. You are talking to the right guy. That describes me. To a tea. You forgot about your pale thighs.

I go tithe it. Tie tanning all the time. I got titanning Typanning Typanning Typanning Yeah I'll have a couple at the airport Doesn't go bad for anyone I don't think

It's the last two times I've been in L.A. with you This time And when you get We're sharing the apartment He came in and I go Woo is this all airport Like that I could just smell it off of them

And Harper could not stop laughing And then I uh I this was like We ended up meeting a like House of Pies or something and you were like No you were like You guys love House of Pyes

It's great Wait This was like months ago Last time I had a drink So yeah Yeah last time I had a drink Six months ago You go

Hey I'm just landing Get me three Get me a beer in two shots Yeah I go I'm not doing this I met him at the drawing That's I know we were in bad shape Oh the drawing room

At the drawing room God damn I didn't know that place You were toasted No but I didn't make it there No you did Because you were like We like

We left immediately because that place freaks me out. I don't like going there. Yeah, well, you, I mean, I think when you get a few bottles of courage. Oh, that was like two years ago. I know what you're talking about. That was like two years ago. Yeah. Anyway, you're right.

And then you were eating 7-11 chicken fingers after you hate a hole. You come in cozy from the airport. It's a fact. You come out. And by the way, I'll eat 7-Eleven chicken fingers any day. Is this a surprise? Bownless. I have a 7-Eleven sandwich.

We got to get you to Japan. Yeah. They got chicken fingers? They got so much 7-11 chicken food. I got Buddhism, dude. Oh, they can get me right? Imagine you got to go to Japan. They got chicken fingers.

He said the same thing about the Louvre. Yeah. They got chicken fingers. Coffee chicken fingers. They probably do. Can I walk and eat the chicken fingers, though? I don't want to have to eat the chicken fingers and then move on. You want to view... I like to sit there and eat them so I enjoy them more.

At the base of this is a crippling flight anxiety. A big part of it. Yeah. That's getting better. I, yeah, like, I work on it. By the ounce. Give me some more flight medication. Excuse me, sir, I need some more.

I need some more medicine. It's going to be a long one today. Dr. Flight attendant, can I have... I see some fluffy clouds up there. It looks like it might be rough. Do you ever get so drunk you call the flight attendant, Dad? Dad. Can I have another?

Dad, I need more of your medicine. That got darker than I'd like it to have. Yeah, I'll have a couple at the airport. Yes, you will? On and off? Like when I get there, usually not on. Usually it's like one on if you're lucky. I mean, they don't really do a second round.

You can't, I've never done that. I've never put the thing on and like asked for another one. Okay, that's good. You got to fly first class. They'll get you fucking shit. They don't, to treat them like a bartender is nuts. They are. First class, they're like in on it.

They, they, they, they, they, like, Like, it'll be landing and they'll be like, I got you too. Yeah, they'll scooch it. Yeah. When I was first on Chelsea lately, age, ages ago. But it was like the first TV, you know, like I ever did, you know, and like was flying back home to Portland. And Chelsea lately, this was when I was a man of a much larger carriage, Chelsea lately, pretty big gay audience for that show. And there was a flight attendant on this flight.

I know this story. I love this story. Back to Portland, who I think had a sort of a bears were his type. and I walked on the plane and it was like fucking Elvis walked on the plane he was like late Elvis

late Elvis and he was like and I like just started you just started getting money I didn't have first class money so I was like way at the back of the flight and this dude

kept coming back like I had a couple drinks and this dude kept coming back with like more and more and more and more and more vodka like and I got like way over served on this flight

but he was just like so giddy and had a little crush on me I was on the flight, and he just, like, kept loading me up with booze. And this is an hour and a half light. This is Ellen Fortland, quick one. And I got on that plane, like, stone sober and got off, like, almost blackout drunk. It was, like, that much alcohol. I hate that feeling, though.

Getting off a plane drunk, I really know. Oh, I like that feeling. If I, I think maybe something about the elevator. You don't like being drunk in the sky, though. I don't like, yeah, I don't like being drunk. On the way to New Orleans, I'd go off a plane a little, like, ready to go. Well, New Orleans, you're just drinking the whole time to just keep paid. Yeah, but that's what I mean.

Like I can show up a little buzzed and then just gets right-go. Oh, we're all wearing short sets, by the way, in New Orleans. What shorts sets? You would love this. Short set. What do you think? Um, a carp top. Well, just like, that checks out.

It's shorts and shirt the match. The match. Oh. So like basketball jersey, same team shorts kind of thing. We're all wearing the same one. Not the same one. We can. That'd be tight as hell.

No, but you get your own. Then we could be like the Jabalakis. Let's not. You know, you know that they're short sets that aren't just basketball basketball jersey and the shorts. That's true. me that's a short set. Yes, I do know that.

You should get a crochet one. I have a crochet. You have one. Ian Will, I'm going to need your help on this. I'm so excited. Dude. But you can show off those Shane legs, which people don't get to see often enough. There was some dude walking around with dope legs yesterday.

I go, look at those guys' legs. And Shane's like mine. They didn't shit compared to mine. I mean, you got. You do have nice legs. Incredible color and tone and shape. Incredible. Have you,

you see the blonde guy on heated rivalries, but the way it's perked at the top and the sides. Mm-hmm. That's your calves, baby. Oh, sugar. Her is exactly

that guy's butt. That guy's butt. He did a type of. Yes. You know what I mean? His butt looks like it's asking for another. Dad? Yeah.

His butt looks like... Dad? Father? Excuse me, dad. Back of the plane. Still here. Ted. Time for my first, Beck.

and I'm going to take cocaine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As then if you don't use it, it goes bad or? I got to get rid of it. This is your reminder to check the date on your cocaine, all right? Just go look because you think like, oh, no, it's fine.

But like it does go bad. No, it's like vitamins sooner than you think. Don't take it for granted. No. And like sometimes you just got to take all the cocaine that's about to expire and make a big soup. Right. Put it in a casulet. Have your friends over.

Have your family over. Cocaine, which, you know. Yeah. No longer but I had my... Just show a picture of John Belushi. It goes bad. It goes bad. There's not a lot of like lifelong cocaine use stories, you know.

Period. Or that like, definitely that are good. Yeah. Yeah. You could go go bad just for one night or for lifetime. That's 100% right. There's no amount of time. It can't go bad.

It can go bad in an hour? A night? A weekend? A week? A marriage. I like marriage as a unit of time. The cocaine will go bad. Yeah.

It's so true. But before it goes bad, so good. Oh, boy. Not always, though, even before. Yeah. Well, remember us to know. Pretty awesome. It's horrible.

It's a horrible, horrible thing to do. But there was never a night where it wasn't fun for at least a little bit. So true. Unfortunately. There were definitely later on that night when you're like, boy, it'd be nice to go to bed. 3 a.m. And you're like, fucking watch that fucking Drake video again, I guess.

There's nothing else to do. Where are you going? I'm not going anywhere, dude. I'm right here. One of the first crazy nights I had with it was in Portland. with this guy and we just like went from like party to party to party

where we ended up at a house in Lake Oswego that was like a strip club after party but like it was just the two of us and a bunch of strippers but not in a sexy way I've actually not in a sexy way I've actually been in a situation like that yeah where they were all just off work they're kind of just like telling you about their life

yeah they're unwinding yeah and you're just sitting there like in sweats and their hair is like yeah like you're like oh this is what you're doing like you're ready to do like you're ready to go to bed after. On your way to it, you're assuming like this is about to be the best thing that ever happens to me. It's going to be nuts. It's going to be like two chains

video. And you're sitting there and it's like, I don't know, you're like in a locker room after a football team lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just like, you should move to Ontario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we, that wasn't even the last stop of the night. Then we went to, we were like straight through crew and we ended up at like Marathon Taverna, the one bar that's open at like 6 a.m. And we were sitting there with like a couple people watching like Liverpool FC. Yeah, because they always show

shit. Because it comes out like, yeah. 6 a.m. I was like, I have to go home. I don't want a bloody Mary and bacon and eggs. I'm not, I'm not Frank Sinatra. You know, this kind of thing. I'm like, I'm never going to go to bed. But we were like, that's the only night I had that was quite like that.

But like, it will go bad. What was the last time he did that? Party-wise? Just, yeah. Yeah, like, not even Coke. Honestly, never. Honestly, never party-wise. Like, I did it for, like, school.

Yeah. But, like, never did not go to bed and then kept partying. I've done it a few times I don't love it It is nuts to do You are you do go a little crazy Especially I remember one time in San Francisco We stayed

We were in the attic of this bar all night Like Like from close to like 730 a.m. And I took the bus back to my spot But just like so now you're like Fried after having been up all night Public transit after a night like that And everybody's on the bus going to work

That's the worst And you just feel so far away from the world. It's the same thing. Subway and I just see like construction workers. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, you're going to go fix the Empire State Building. And I'm here sweating in an air-conditioned call.

Yeah, it's not good. I'm dirty. Yeah. Like, yeah. Oh. Cogaine. Yeah. Great pick. Sean Jordan, time for your first and your second picks. Uh, ex's wedding. I've been one time. You've been? Oof. Yeah. And did you give a speech?

I don't know that I was supposed to be there I knew where it was and I went Oh no I was like in the back like Friends in Low Places video Kind of going through Ers song going through my mind and I was like This is not that And then you know I might it might be the reception that I'm talking about It might not be the wedding as my memory

I don't know if that's that much better But the reception I went Was it bad for you or for them Bad for me I didn't do anything nuts But I had a bad night This was someone who you would have preferred to have still been with? Yes.

Okay. There we go. All right. Fuck. I've, yeah. Yeah. There's like half of my exes where I could go to their wedding now and it would be fine.

I would say most like all of my exes. Well, yeah, I should say all of them now that I'm fully married. I'm only in love with a couple people. And also would it be fine? Yeah. Yeah, this is like mid-20s, early 20s when it was just a mess. Oh, yeah. That's wrong, man.

That's tough. handle it or like maybe even wanted to put myself through that for some dumb reason. But you did feel that you weren't wanted by that person right? Like they for sure didn't want you there. Yeah but some of the people maybe they wanted the fun that

would ensue if I blew it. Some of the people who weren't getting married wanted you there? They didn't mind the ruckus. How'd you score an invite? Or were you not? I don't think I was. Christ. So were you wearing like a tux?

No, it was my version. Button up in cackies. I was wearing these shorts. Pop and tails. Pop and tails. Yeah, it's a bad idea. It could be. Did the bride just like

and then keep moving? Like she just saw you for a second. She goes, you fucking. I don't think it did too much. Your eyes are pain telling this story. Well, I'm trying to remember exactly what happened. I mean, I'm just saying in general like that can go bad. See.

But my specific encounter. I don't think it goes good to details too often. I don't. Does it happen? I went to OneX's wedding, and it was, you didn't have to hold it up. That's what that signal was. I like you guys working this. You guys get better and better.

Take it in the end. Me and Iceman? Oh, baby. We're just fucking John Camp and Gary Payne. In my head, you wrote down, don't talk about that thing. I know you want to. Don't bring up your story. I went to Jen Allen's wedding.

Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. That was good. It was happy for him. Yeah. If you're good friends. your good friends. If you're not invited and

you're wearing teal leggings which I was. It's going to go bad. You know if you said somebody who shut up to my wedding and they're wearing teal leggings, I wouldn't think it was a man. What's your second pick? Politics discussion at a bar. That's just a good one. Good piece of advice to never let that happen. It always sucks. Even to overhear it always sucks.

Even when you agree with everyone. Even like because all the bars I go to Everyone's pretty much on the same page Yeah Then it's so annoying You're like guys shut up I hate us Yeah I know

Did we all read the same New York Times article? Yeah And then we came to this bar To talk about it to try to get laid It is It does It is

It's just like they're sitting in their dog Yeah Somebody ends up standing up to the table And then you're eating breakfast nachos You're like shut the fuck up She like You're like you guys? Yes

That's what I said and you're eating Chitty Do you have a tough time with Spinn? That feels like a choice Yeah I sure as heck do And I'll talk about it in a bar

That's another conversation Let's freshen you up mom Let's freshen you up Preshing you up so we can quiet you down We should go to the airport after this Really hang out I don't want no chitticato. I want nachos with beans, okay?

I want my bean nachos. I don't like that you. You don't want to say the one Spanish word, but you are willing to say nachos, which is another Spanish word. But they don't realize it. They think that's like English. I don't want no chagli. I want my nachos, my queso, my beans together. This is the beginning.

This is the beginning of a YouTube short. Karen destroyed at local taqueria. Karen destroyed a Mediterranean restaurant I'm not leaving I'm not leaving No Canto No Ciento

No Cianto Only salatro I got sour cream Go get your hefe right now I want to talk to your Hefe What is? No, everyone

They call me Bruja Is that boss? Did you know Shane's Mexican No Just the good heff? Don't I'm serious This is a white hamlet

Are you serious? I only hold his white hand. He is white-handed. Man. I like this because this is, I think either of you could kill the other one. I don't know. I don't know who's...

Hollywood has a new darkest murder. Who stabbed first? Same time? Mm-hmm. Who opened for who? You both open for each other. Knife wound? Open.

Take my hand, brother. I'll take your hand, my brother. As you make your second pick. Oh, yeah, politics discussion in the bar. Anything else to say about it? Don't. You signal me to take a break. I take a break when I want to take a break.

They have a hard out. If you start a fucking union, I swear to God. Oh, shit. They have a hard out. I'm just trying to. Oh, okay. What is the union Isaac would be in? Pod producers?

I think like Holy Massimony. I mean, it starts with a P. Holy matrimony. Something under the guise of our Lord and Savior. Some kind of a new age sexual situation. Union Station. Yeah. You can join that.

That's another one. Yeah, you can join the Union Station. Politics discussion at a bar. Often goes bad. Or it just goes lame. We'll be right back with more picks. This episode of All Fantasy, everything is brought to you by Babel. Now, I'll speak for myself, although I think I

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We're back to all fantasy everything. Are we taking avocado? Avocado. You get to take avocado. In avocado, main thing it does is go bad. Yeah. Yeah. They go bad in hours.

I hate it too because every time you open the fridge, it's like, there's my lack of ambition. Yeah, absolutely. I was going to make a guacamole. You just got your gym membership card in the fridge But now I didn't because I'm a fucking loser Then you gotta start working backwards from avocado You know you're like all right avocado and then what? Then what do I do?

You're putting it on places maybe it doesn't necessarily want to go The other solution is to eat when you're not hung up like when you don't want that much of it Yeah Like a whole of it you put a Yeah You put an onion with it it's supposed to not go bad Isn't that better than it does anyway? I don't know

Do you ever do that thing where you just like You pull the pit and then you just start dipping like tortilla chips in it? Yeah You're like, it's basically guacamole. I basically did what I said I was going to do. But it was just a silly little answer to save us a little time, but an avocado will go bad. Yeah. It will.

What a fun point, Shane. I'm going to pick any time I do a social post for Catherine and I's podcast. Oh, yes. And I did 19 notes. Yeah, because I'm really bad at it. Because you can't spell. God. You can't type.

That would help. That's what it is. No, I just don't get it. And it's, I'm getting better, I think. You're not. There's a lot of effort put in, and I just will always find a way to fuck away. You are particularly. Handsome.

Handsome. Funny, witty. Mal adapted to the social media rigors of a comedy career today. Oh, my God. Change. The problem is I'm only good at comedy. Yeah. You're so good at comedy.

There are a few people on Earth who are better at comedy. Me. Can't even think of a second one. Yeah. Can't even think of a second one. Earthquake, Ian. Notice how Captain is still seething. Well, you just don't belong in this world.

You would have peaked in like after World War II. Back when they were starting to put doors on Chevy. Get a job on one of those lines You know, with like half the male population But taken about war You're dressed like a mannequin At a store I would hate

Door to door cigarette That's true Honey wouldn't be loud in the store Ain't nothing for you in here Ain't nothing for me in there That's right That's right Then we agree

This is all This is too young And bald for you You know what you can say about shame is the denim is distressed and so is the guy in it? He's too young and bulls me. I'm not a pedophile.

Okay, Catherine, your pick. Back to the look. So many, but I'm going to go with Child Star. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's like up there with avocado. She's like, yeah. It's going to go bad.

It's easier to count the ones who didn't. which is like Ron Howard. Yeah? And like eventually... Fred Savage. He kind of has a thing, though. Does he? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. Plus he ghosted me on Conan. That's right. Eventually Drew Barry Moore. What about Winnie Cooper? She was on there. Yeah. Oh, she turned a mathematician. Did McCallie?

She turned into a mathematician? Yeah, yeah. Bad. Like a big time. Bad. Bad. You just said bad. Geek.

She drew Barrymore. Eventually, but she had like a real like rough period there. It went bad. Yeah, went real bad. And then got good. What about Isaac Hanson? Who you can hear on Coastal Indy? He's doing good.

Yeah, he's very happy. He's not, he was very sweet, very approach. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. Yeah. The good. What are the other good one? Like, oh.

Julio White. He made it out. He made Julio White. He had a rough time too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He did well. It's good. Emma Watson Oh yeah That's a good She's like great She went She's like

I'm going to Harvard Or Brown or something And yeah And Natalie Port Did it Natalie Port Zendaya Myambiolic I'm looking at a list here

This is not up the top They still have so much time Mess it up Something could really hurt them Yeah Yeah Yeah Yes

It definitely goes bad Most of most The Disney kids Really go bad Yeah And they all got bad deals and you find out their parents all stole their money. All that bad stuff.

Even if they ended up okay. Like the ones we're talking about. Who's to say they didn't get all their money taken or something? People have this list. It's child stars who turned out normal. And it's like Leonardo DiCaprio. And I'm like, I don't think that's normal. He's great.

You know what fuck with iPod headphones in? Man, we saw dudes at dinner last night with headphones in. You never heard about that? Oh, he signs the NDA and they come in and they... He stups with headphones in. Air pods. What are you... Oh, God.

What is it? What do you show her? Penis. Nice. Yeah. My avocado is about to go back. You think that's one? Yeah, he shows me a penis.

That's now I know it's time to wrap it up. Hey! I like... Play and furt. Play it first. Come on. I knew you guys would all get along. Perfect.

That was perfect Yeah, Child Star Almost always goes bad It's gonna go bad David DeBore From child to adult I say mooning is a grownup Oh yeah

It's like Like But yeah Like you start And you're like This is so hilarious I may be the funniest guy that's ever been

And then your whole asses out And you're on a bridge And then you're like Oh no Yeah It happened again I'm so vulnerable Yeah

And I'm so stupid I'm so fucking stupid And as an adult Your underlings Your carriages start to sag So you do see more than cheek Yep Yep they see the back of the ball bag

Oh yeah yeah Keeping it hype Yeah And unless you are the star of heated rivalry For the most part fellas back there Nobody wants it Great Nobody wants

We hide it from our lovers Yeah I usually have a pretty big Zit somewhere back there. Unbelievable. I'm just getting worse. You think that's unbelievable? Well, you know, yeah, you get them.

That latex. That's right. This quail skin? That's not what the pre-legal guy told me. He was selling a bunch of shit. That's not what Mr. Darius told you.

He had a suitcase full of quail underwear. He told me. I got to talk to the cut cone knife guy and get that thing off there. He said I'd be a fool not to buy the whole case. This charlatan dickhead. Well, he said that you can read. That's very funny.

Yeah, it's usually like a quarter size, too. They're bigger sets than I get on anywhere else. What? The size of a, like 25 cents? Maybe I got shot the other. It was after the airport. I was in Harper's car. This big.

Is that an infection? That's a boyle, really? Yeah. That's a bunion. I'm glad we're getting to the bottom of this. That's George's wallet from side. Have you been wrestling? Yeah.

Okay, there it is. Oh, you might also have ringworm. I busted him last night and wrestled chain at four in the morning. I had been. Fun one. I won. Did you both win? Yeah, we both won.

I saw underwear-clad chain today. I was a treat. What? Is he still flexing his calves the whole time? You don't need to. You know, it's weird? I can see you wearing briefs. No boxer.

No, I'm boxer briefs. I did see him wearing boxer briefs. I see that. I have like two pairs of briefs that I mix in every now. Really? No, my thighs. With a short, because I don't want. You don't want to look athletic like I do?

Yeah. You look like you're ready to not get picked in a basketball game. Do you worry about blowing out the side like a tub of biscuit? Sure. And it happens. Use tuck. You excuse yourself. You walk into a gentleman's corner and you tuck.

Oh, with your balls. Like your balls? Mine bust out of these, by the way. Out of Boxer briefs. I bet they do. I bet they do. David, your final pick? This is for the bigger gentleman.

I don't know if this happens to you, Catherine. I'm ready. Buying a collared shirt online. Oh, my God. Man, you think you're going to look so cool than it comes. And then you don't even really know how to take it back. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes, like, that top button, they're like far. They don't see a night eye. You got to, it's just, you got to try it on, man. T-shirts do whatever you're going to do, go with God. But I've had so many collared shirts go bad on them. Well, what you pay, girl-wise, a lot of people don't pay attention to, is the sleeve length. Oh, interesting. Because they go really eff you on the girls.

They go too little? I like long. Yeah, I was going to say, that's like a three-quarter. That's like a baseball shirt. Yeah, I like this. Sometimes they go, oh, little teen-tiny girls. You don't even like sleeves. They have little tiny arms.

Yeah, it's like, no, I want a fucking sleeve, no. I want my shit, club. Yeah. I want my shit. Clown. They got to earn this arm. Take my shit away from me. I don't want no chill.

I want full wings Well, I'm in Take these chili Keeleys and bring me some fucking sleeves That's a different viral video I dip into that character too quick I want my sleeves

I didn't know what was a character I thought we were just riffing No it's not the real me Yeah, collar shirt on line I've had a few I have some I've kept Because I just don't know what to do with them Oh aspiration or shirt

Oh my God. God, damn. That was like 90% of my wardrobe points. I'll get into this for that wedding. Yeah. When people say they have a few skeletons in their closet, it is shirts I've bought on. Yeah. Shirts I thought I could pull off.

Oh, littered with them. Catherine Blanford, your final pick. This is so hard. Yeah. Okay. Which one? This one? Or this one?

Or that? This one. This one right here. This one? Yeah. That one? No, the one below This?

I wonder what the kids are going to look like. Oh, okay. That's not the one I was going to go with. Okay. The crotch and leggings. You can never reset. She just, yeah. I was not going to go with that one.

Once that's blown out, that's blown out. Well, you know what in girls is what happens? No. Please, tell you. I'm not Lynn Swan So it looks like that's what happened with men We don't really wear leggings You know what I'm not Lynn

Company That was a cut Yeah thank you Yeah we're liking The rest of them could be great right Yeah Then you look because I've seen it happen At Buffalo Exchange

I'm like these are Lulu Lamon I wore them four times That's how you pronounce that Yeah I do I like you pronounce like a got Like my lily Lamon When I have my nachas with beans All right

But the crotch. It's like a female kid rock. You do, I think we're about to get kicked out of the studio. It does feel like someone's going to be like, my favorite kid rock song, I'm not kidding, though. It is called Rosemary and Blue Jeans. Blue Jeans and Rosary. It's a good song.

Why would I have thought you were kidding? Huh? Why would I thought you were kidding? Everything about this says you have a favorite kid rock song. And pictures with Cheryl Crow is pretty good. That is a good song. I like the summertime songs. Oh, Yoki, it's great.

Sometimes that's a song, if you live alone and you come home shit-faced and you just blast that, crying. You'll feel some stuff. You sure as heck, well, and you know what? I literally would put a picture away. Cowboys good, too. I think his first album is good. Well, I haven't listened to it in years, but I have fond memories of that first kid rock album.

I want me, Cowboys, Baby. You can see why it's a hit. You really can. Even if you don't like it. You can see why it's a hit. Ian Carmel, getting ready for football practice, looking at the Kid Rock? Come on. Come on.

Yeah. We're wearing leggings? Oh. Did you have cold gear? I didn't have cold gear. I didn't have good cold gear. Me either. It was too expensive.

My parents were not popping for cold. It had just come out. Is that under armor? Yeah. The richest kids had under armor when it first. We would wear sweatshirts. It was like 40 bucks for the shirts. Crazy.

And the heat gear was expensive too. Yeah. I was wearing big dog t-shirts under my pants. Yeah. I was wearing croppedop us camp t-shirts. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cardinals Camp O2.

Idaho State University football too. I would tie the knot because I thought it was like Omar Epson. God, you were good. And I would tie the knot under my shoulder pants. Wait. Boy did I get made fun of it. Like, like Daisy, like Daisy Duke. Because Omar F's did it.

And then you did the splits? Did I do the splits? You're like Tracy Morgan in the longest yard. Ah. That's so amazing. This is like a thing on the podcast, but Sean did the football first day? They did the splits one time.

No, it was like, whatever. But they asked him to do it because they were bullying him. And you said they really like me now. He goes, that's almost a bit. But he goes, can you do the splits? And I'm like, can I? And I just yuck. I dropped to him.

And then they were assholes. Frontways, backways, Van Dam. Van Dam. But yeah, I went Van Dam. But yeah, I went Van Dam. The Tutsyroll started playing. 15 years later, maybe 10 years later, the dude, comes up to me at a bar he's like, sorry about that.

I'm like, that's cool. Did you say, why are you saying sorry? Yeah. I do. What happens to the crotch and leggings on girls? I've seen them get naughty. Yes, that's what I was saying. They pill?

They pill. They pill. They pill. And that is where you, that's where the Buffalo Exchange girl, you got in your experience. You can get a depiler. You can get a depiler. But they just get like, what does pill mean? They just get knacked out.

I know what you're talking about. I do. I see that friction. Yeah, everywhere else good, but that's a... I know exactly what you can't hide it. If you want to... I've been with a fresh. Some of those Lulu Lamonts, though, get a deep pillar.

No, it's not. I know, I've seen a lot of... It's gone. I've been with a lot of women who had a lot of leggings. And I just... I know exactly what I don't know. You've been, even with women whose thighs are friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They hang out. They hang out. No, I know, they do blow. Those crotches do go bad. But the crotches do bad. And that's like, that's like, I've been with multiple women who are like, you see it where they're like, oh, I can't do this anymore. Like, you see them retire

them because their crotch is so piled out. You look who is my thighs rub, but it doesn't happen to my Lulu Lemon leggings. Do you have Lulu Lemon? Yes. How much? I don't know. How much are you wearing them? The girls I'm talking about are wearing leggings like pants. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, like to the gym

once a week. Yeah, no, no. Part of the rotish. No, these girls are wearing. These girls were wearing them on the 38 Geary. Yes. Shane, your final pick? Oh, me the dark and stares. That's a great... Isn't that the first Duplas Brothers movie?

Me the dark and stairs. It's also a children's book about courage. You like this kind of guy. I read Arthur, Me the Dark and Stairs this morning. I think I can. I think I should. I think I shouldn't. I think I should. I just, every time I like that.

Shane the trains, tears in pain because she's anytime I'm like you know like in an unfamiliar place and I wake up

in the middle of the night and like I have to like when we were in Kentucky and like no

I mean that's a familiar place being in Kentucky it was Catherine's birthday she made me go we saw Mumford and Sons

oh I didn't even get there for them but we made for Jack White my dad nice did you say that to me

I just like Like, I just know, like, I'm like, God damn it, if I don't find a banister to hold, like, I, like, I, like, I, like, I'm filled with tension. Could you use a banister. Yeah. Just a good use of banister. You got to slide down on your butt one scared at time, like a big boy. Banisters for your aunt and Shane's. Yeah.

And breaking the form of a mile. Well, there's no goddamn banisters, so I don't think I can, can I? I'm stuck up there. I'm good at up. I'm good at up. I jumped. I'm like a cow. They can go upstairs, but they won't go down them. God damn holiday end of them.

have a banister. Elevator's broken, no banister. I guess I don't eat. Yeah, that's my pit. My final pick is going to be juice fast. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've never done it for real. Ooh, it goes with the one time I've done it, like, just at first, the poops are bad,

and it sucks, and then later on, it just gets worse. Oh, really? And then you're hungry and you're mean to everybody? Yeah, and you're mean to everybody. It's just a bad. How long did you do it for? I did two weeks once And I was doing stand-up

I was back when I was doing a lot more stand-up What kind of juice? I was doing the I see I was doing the Sick fat and near Fat sick and nearly dead Would you like bring a bravel juicer

And like make your own like celery? Yes Juice really made it seem like you could get skinny tomorrow Well you lost a shit load away But obviously you put it right back on But I was on stage at the Tacoma Comedy Club Two weeks into it And like my thighs just started cramping

because your body's just like, fuck you, dude. Fuck you, like give us something. Like, you've been feeding me nothing but drive through window food for 10 years. Yeah, and now this? Yeah, you're like, I'm used to my cap scramp. Your set an expectation is unreasonable, you know how to like

style out of calf cramp, right? But this is like the front of the thigh is like. It's like you feel like you're fucking dying. It feels like it's never going to uncramp with your thighs cramp. It hurts so bad. Juice fast. Maybe for a day, maybe for two days. I don't know.

Maybe you have a medical. Two weeks was insane. It's gonna go bad. That's where you started on this, like, had you done this before? Did you fast? Yeah. I've done it like a, I did it a couple times when I was in my Please God Anything face. You know what I?

Yeah. What? She's got anything. That was great. I was trying to do anything. I know anything to lose weight. I went 400 pounds. I was, yeah.

Yeah. God heard you. Yeah. God heard. Well, it wasn't that. It was like, it was flowing. She sure did hear you. She sure.

Brother. She heard you. Brother. Brother. Brother. Hero, ally, two of the good ones. Stand with you on a battlefield, brother. Oh, you guys see all the people?

You open the steeple up? Juice Fast. Sean, your final pick? Pursuing Road rage. Whoa. Such a good one. That's a great close. Yeah.

Just five follows. We've done it. We've both done it. Maybe we've all done it. I got busted. I was telling my, it was like telling my wife a story and it ended up with me knowing where this kid lived and she's like, you followed him? And I was like, damn.

Yes. I didn't want to tell you that. I didn't. I let him just see where he lived and I had the kid in the car who's one at the time. Christ almighty. Man, yeah, you got to.

And then you do that and you're like, what am I doing? Right. That's why. I have to be so bad. And we've hit their heart out but I'm 100% with it. Things that can go bad

holding your piss too long, dude. Can I say my two favorite ones my honorable mentions really fast? Yeah. Orchids. Stop gifting them. Yeah. Yes.

You're just giving me a schedule. Yes. You're giving me a schedule. Yes. You're giving me a daily tag. I generally need you to wrap up the podcast. I never put like an ice cube in it or whatever they say. You're never going to do it.

A Mel Robbins podcast. That's so funny. A cult. A fourth marriage. Papa's hip. The fourth groomsman. Papa's hip? That's good.

That's really good. A fourth marriage. This is really funny. Your aunt's story. Another one above it. Oh, 32% of kids in Philly. That is really, really good. Holy buckets.

Those are fantastic. Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah. Staying friends with an ex. Oh, yeah. That's a boy. Good one. You can become friends with them later on, but it's tough to...

Immediately. Yeah. Classic of the genre. No, no, because somebody's winning. Yep. Yeah, that boy. Somebody's losing. Immediately afterwards, yeah.

Let me just to recap all the picks before we get out of here. David, you picked a buffet. A buffet. A buffet. Mooning is a grown-up. colored shirts online. Catherine, you picked your mom's MLM, child stars, and the crotch and leggings. Shane, you picked me being an adult at the airport when I'm dropped off and doing what adults are fine to do and spending their own money that they work hard to earn. Anytime Shane does a social post, because you're horrible at it, me, you the dark and stairs. Ian picked cocaine,

an avocado and a juice fest. That sounds like a Saturday back in the day. And I picked an ex's wedding, public discussion at a public political discussion at a bar, pursuing road rage. And yeah, that was it. Let's go, baby. You nailed that. You nailed that shit. Land the fucking plane shot. He went crazy while you were out there pooping out of your butt.

Okay, sure. Hey, baby, it's your lie. Tell it how you want. I just reread. No, it's not over quite. I just reread. I did the recap and I was about to bring it home, which I can close in front of you if you'd want.

He really went. I just did the replay, thank you. God, as I expected, did the recap. Why did you zoom in so much? I got bad eyes. Oh. Aaron me. Ow.

I don't know. Bad eyes and bad thighs. What was so good about how you were closing? I just didn't stutter. He just really nailed it. Yeah. He just really nailed it. Yeah.

Like a teleprompter. Was it better than when I do it? No. But it was comparable. That's why I was so. Great, great, great. I mean, I was getting nervous

for the next part, though, because I don't know if I would nail the shout-out. I want you to fucking, I want you to fucking land the whole plane, baby. That's better episode.

Catherine, Shane, thank you so much for coming on. You're welcome. I'm happy to be here. It's so fun. You're watching and listening. A puppet on Mr.

Rogers' neighborhood. That's what I finally figured it out. No. Not a Muppet, but a. I don't know what to do with all these feelings.

Yeah. Shout out everyone on the Amfee, Patreon. Thank you for holding this down. You can get this or that's auction drafts, mailbags, all the live episodes. We're going to do Isaac's Tasteful Nudes. A throwback.

Isaac Casteful Nudes. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Thank you so much for rocking with us. Shout out to everybody who's watching on YouTube. Ooh, a new one. Shout out to mind I said shout out. Shout out to. You can't.

Come on, man. Shout out to mega producer Isaac Lee on the ones and twos. Shout out to Frank Ocean. Shout out to Sid the dude. Shout to Hajie Beath. Shout out to St. Your Bermel. Shout out to Ian.

Carmel. Shout out to Sid the dude. And more important than all that, tune again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shackety! Whale!

That was a hate gum podcast.