All Fantasy Everything - Things to Do on a Rainy Day (w/ Sean Jordan and David Gborie)

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

Autumn is curling in on gentle winds. The air smells of campfire and the leaves are loosening their grips. Dark grey clouds insist themselves upon the atmosphere like a snort from some benevo...lent old dragon. The patter. The petrichor. The rain. And then we draft things to do while it's doing that. Support the show!SPONSORS:EightSleep [Get $150 off your purchase when you go eightsleep.com/ALLFANTASY.]Manscaped [Get 20% off and free shipping with the code ALLFANTASY]MyBookie.ag [use promo code ALLFANTASY for a double deposit bonus]Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch:T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Recording live in the fortress of solid dudes. We are, yeah, yeah, we are. At 10 p.m. That's a late one. On a Tuesday. Tuesday night, sure.
Starting point is 00:00:47 It's the evening fog rolling in. I like that fog. It's the nighttime wind. Peaceful and calm. Breeze. It's the, this one goes out to all the night owls out there. There you are. People working the graveyard shift.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Two hands on that cup. You know? Everybody gazing longingly at that box of sleepy time tea. Think about what warms you up. They know they can't go anywhere near. I'm going to throw some words out there. Cozy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Snug. Sure. Delightful. Oh yeah. Peaceful. Peaceful. Yeah. Mementos.
Starting point is 00:01:18 Oh, I like that. Sure. Mementos. Yeah, absolutely. We are, it is late as fuck here in California. We got to talking, man. We got the, you know, we did,, yeah, absolutely. We are, it is late as fuck here in Glendale, California.
Starting point is 00:01:27 We got to talking, man. We got the, you know. We did. We got to chattering. The hands got to clucking. What are we doing? We do go on. We were just taking turns saying stuff that would get us canceled.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Yeah. 9-11 was an outside job. Yeah, dude, outside, out there. I mean. Oh, damn, it's about to be the old. I know. Oh, shit. I'm flying on it, dude. Yeah, dude. Outside. Out there. I mean. Oh, damn. It's about to be the old I know. I'm flying on it, dude. I hate that. Oh, you are flying on 9-11. They don't have the stones to try it again.
Starting point is 00:01:54 You're flying to the terrorism hotbed of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. No, he's going to Portland, Oregon, which is even more active. I'll tell you this. They have neither the huts nor the pa to do it again on the 11th. No, but seriously, I mean, you tell me how the explosion started at the
Starting point is 00:02:09 bottom. So anyway, you should watch Zeitgeist or Loose Change. Loose Change, best YouTube documentary out. I got them going on my crib all the time like Scarface at a rapper's house on Cribs. Yeah, this is a documentary. Actually, bring the whole crew and we just sit down.
Starting point is 00:02:25 You guys got time, right? Constantly playing. Zeitgeist, Loose Chain, Zeitgeist 2, Zeitgeist 3. I've never seen him playing cut metal at a perfect 45 degree angle, but that's neither here nor there. How come the Bush's eyelids blink sideways? Why come? Why come?
Starting point is 00:02:41 Why come the eyelids blink sideways? Oh, damn. I'm sorry. Oh, because it feels good. Oh, damn. I'm sorry. Oh, because it feels good? I get you. I blew the whole bit. I blew the whole fucking bit. It's all right. It's a natural conclusion.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's good. I'll tell you this. Sitting around in the old, the fortress, you know, like, people will send you stuff. Like, so there's a picture of me, of my back, face of the crowd at my Comedy Central or my Netflix recording. I didn't even notice. That's so nice. out like so there's a picture of me of my back face of the crowd at my comedy center or my uh that's what that netflix uh recording i didn't even notice that's so nice it's really nice but
Starting point is 00:03:10 like at what point do you have too many pictures of you in your own house because right there behind you sean yeah there's a christmas order but my mom got me of my track listings from my album okay oh yeah there is. With my face on it. I also love having that. There's that picture, that giant mural of Chris Pine that you have to go into detail and explain. That is Chris Pine. It's Chris Pine. It's not me.
Starting point is 00:03:36 That I love. Because it's not you, but it makes you look vain when everyone's like, why would you paint a mural of yourself? Get close to the wall. Speaking of yourself, you just played yourself. That's Chris Pine. Get close to the wall and you'll tell that that's Chris Pine. I do have, Lister, a gigantic painting of me
Starting point is 00:03:52 dressed as a dictator. It's like four feet tall. It's like tall. It's there so I can have curtains. Yeah. It's curtains for you. It's curtains for you. I do love it when people see that
Starting point is 00:04:06 though, like a first timer and they're like, oh, really? Like, yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Who painted you, Brian Cook? I would have it. I don't know why. He would though, because he's exactly going to have an issue with it, but not, you know, we talk him into it. I walked into the roost one time.
Starting point is 00:04:22 I don't even think I lived here. I walked in and the first thing he just looks at me and take off your fucking hood i just had a hood up because it was raining or something he just so mad at me that for having a hood up yeah uh why don't you have that painting it should be hanging up right over there that's a bit much it's so big no it isn't that's a bit much as someone who's into hanging paintings now yeah i realize a piece that big is like, where do you put it? Right on that huge empty wall. That's a bit much.
Starting point is 00:04:48 That is a lot. I bring a woman home. I open the door to a Postmates driver, and they hand me $58 worth of Panda Express and then see a giant painting of me as a dictator in the background. That is hilarious. Yes, yes, yes. Hey, thanks, yeah. And then they're like, is that?
Starting point is 00:05:06 And I'm like, listen. And then I close the door. Is that what? You getting the fuck out of here? Is that me lowering my tip to 15%? That's exactly what that is. Talking yourself out of a good time. I'm just kidding. I always tip 20. That's exactly what needs to happen.
Starting point is 00:05:22 I don't know if I've ever told you guys, this DJ ordered a pizza one time back in the day and the delivery person came and he put on a Jason mask and he had a machete and he put a 20 on the end of the machete and he opened the door and he's just holding it and he goes, take it. And the guy just left.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Pretty funny. That could have gone south though. Real machete. What if it was Freddy who opened the door? I've seen that documentary, Freddy vs. Jason. Oh, yeah. A lot of nudity in that documentary. Is there?
Starting point is 00:05:50 Yeah. You don't see that a lot. I don't care for boobs. A lot of nudity. More penises. You don't like them? Put it all away. You know?
Starting point is 00:05:56 Cover it up, man. It's a chaste and clean lifestyle lived with an uncomfortable wool clothing. Wrapped in a Pendleton? That's for me. No, I said uncomfortable. Pendleton? Baby. Oh, that hugs the curves. Like a Porsche. Come on. Is it Porsche or Porsche? I don't know. Porsche.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Me either. Whenever I hear someone say Porsche, unless they're referring to De Rossi, I think they sound crazy. A lot of people say Porsche, though. Yeah, I know. But what if they said Porsche DeRossi? There we go. Is it Porsche?
Starting point is 00:06:27 It's a Porsche. Well, if it's... Yeah, it's the accent. Do you say Audi or Audi? Huh? Audi or Audi? Audi. Audi?
Starting point is 00:06:34 Yeah. I would say Audi. Yeah, I say Audi, too. Audi. I got an Audi outside. There's a lot of bad drivers in Audis. A lot of entitlement within the confines of that. Get Audi. Get Audi here
Starting point is 00:06:46 with that. You know what I mean? It's 10 o'clock on your dial and this is the All Fantasy Everything crew coming to you on the late show. WB. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Yeah, man. Sean Cougarmel Jordan on the gram.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yeah, dude. Sitting in a, what is it? What do we call that? A love seat? Is that the love seat? What is that called? I don't know. It's like the nice, I'm sitting on the AFE throw pillow.
Starting point is 00:07:14 It's like the throne. I'll tell you. The AFE throw pillow. The AFE boner pillow. Yeah, speaking of which, you owe me, me and Ian each a third of that. Yeah, we got to get a third of that. So I think what's like two bucks or something like that? I ordered one of these pillows in all white
Starting point is 00:07:26 just to see what it looked like. And I had it on the couch when I got here. And Ian's like, that won't be on the couch. No. That's just another piece of paraphernalia with your name on it. It's another thing with my face on it. I can't like...
Starting point is 00:07:37 Your living room's gonna be... I can't be living in a museum to myself. I gotta be bringing people here who don't really know me that well. You know what I mean? Like on occasion. But I like that I can look over in my headshot and cordos are right next to each other.
Starting point is 00:07:51 That's a fun one. Ron Funches dressed like a samurai in the fridge. Absolutely. Drawn by Dan Duarte. That really, I feel like you can have two pictures of yourself per room. Yeah. And I got them.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I'm, I'm good on that. Yeah. At least I don't have my Conan name placard up anymore. See, I think that's dope. I don't think that's too bad at all. I think it's cool how it's matted out and everything. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:16 It's sick. Somebody knocked it over once and it broke. So I got to... Over here? Yeah. I think during a party and then they did that move where they just hit it. Like getting something framed doesn't cost $90 for some reason. God, I hate it.
Starting point is 00:08:27 If someone can explain to me, and in plain English, please, why getting shit framed costs so much goddamn money. What the fuck is that? I don't know. That's the biggest racket there is. Yeah, I got something framed the other day, and it was way more than I thought it was going to be.
Starting point is 00:08:42 It would be cheaper to frame someone for a crime than to frame a picture of them doing it. I've framed for less, yeah, for sure. Come on down to frame for less. I've never framed anything. It will blow your mind. First you've got to find a mark. Yeah, I've got to find a mark. We should get into the framing business. I would love to frame
Starting point is 00:08:59 somebody. Oh, but I mean also we should just frame pictures. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How hard can it be? We're both going back and forth on what we're talking about. The bits. I can't imagine. I mean, we got a little capital. Let's put it into a framing business and watch it grow. Seems like it's high margins. We're working too hard.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Sure. Yeah. Frame your wine house, dude. It takes forever, dude. I got my shit framed and it took like eight days. It takes a long time and it's expensive for some reason. I guess they got to cut the glass, I guess. Yeah, but a lot of times... Why do you have glass? A lot of times the glass will
Starting point is 00:09:31 move around in there and I don't like that. Especially if it's like a matted like these where it's matted and the glass moves I'm like, what are you doing? That glass should be stuck. It's fucking crazy how much it costs. It'll be like $90 to frame something. Yeah. I'm getting hot now. I'm getting mad.
Starting point is 00:09:48 What are you up to, man? I've been watching. I watched Mindhunter. What's your problem, doc? I'm feeling weird. I watch Mindhunter all day. All day? Are you caught up yet? No. I was like, oh, I was trying to do as much busy work as I can because I haven't been really doing
Starting point is 00:10:04 that in Sioux Falls. This is going to sound stupid, but there's nowhere to focus in my mom's house because it's so cluttered. So I don't have anywhere to sit and actually handle things. And in here, it's all perfectly clean, very nice. And I just put the computer down and I sent out all the emails
Starting point is 00:10:21 that I have been neglecting for a month. I like that. While Mindhunter was on in the back. It's so good. I haven't watched it. It'll give you weird... I've been having weird dreams for the last week. Blame it on that. I really do. I don't want weird dreams. It didn't give me any weird dreams.
Starting point is 00:10:35 I had two weird dreams that Laura cheated on me. One was that I woke up and she didn't text me back immediately and I was like, she did. Shane did. Well, now ask David what he's up to, because I'm going to start saying some pretty bad shit now. If you guys could see the wind out of his sails. It's like, I feel like even just the idea of that crossing your mind
Starting point is 00:10:55 just took you there. Tomsy's hot son. He wouldn't need to fight me in the front yard, because I'd just be crying the whole time. Oh, yeah. The last time we were recording a podcast, the two of you, a gauntlet was thrown and it was spicy it got so spicy spicy news network bounty's back on dude the bounty is back on i'm still saying you guys suited up for charity man so yeah by the time
Starting point is 00:11:17 this drops we will uh have come back from high plains i think probably i mean it depends the order you want to go in but yeah you know You know what you should call it? A TKO for PP. A PP TKO. Yeah, wait, what's a PP? What's a PP? Planned Parenthood. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing it for the parents, huh? Yeah. Well, for the not- I was trying
Starting point is 00:11:37 to say, like, I was trying to think of a slang term for Planned Parenthood, and parents came out. Planned Parenthood provides a number of services, and only a very small percentage of them are abortions. So I think they should be safe, legal, and accessible. I think it should be all abortions all the time. I'm into that. I saw a bumper.
Starting point is 00:11:53 I was telling Ian this. It didn't have any stance on it. It just said, you can't be Catholic and pro-choice. It's all it said. But it wasn't like the Catholic was blue and the rest of it was red or something. I think the term is you can't be Catholic and hate anal yeah dude and that one's on many levels oh I should have changed it or it could be bad I'm not Catholic
Starting point is 00:12:15 feelings on anal I got I got the rest personally I find it a bit unnecessary. I mean, I have always thought never, never experienced, but I'm always like, unless it was like, definitely like a deal breaker. I'd be like, well, no, it's weird. Yeah. Stay. We can stave off of that. You know, it's 10.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Oh, wait, you're listening to the all fantasy. Everything late shit. Anal fantasy. I don't have shit coming up. If anybody makes a porno parody of us yeah oh no I'm just I don't know what our listenership
Starting point is 00:12:53 is but if anybody makes a porno parody of us I will watch it I would feel very uncomfortable watching it for some reason I'd watch it all I don't care what flavor it for some reason. I'd watch it. I'd watch it all. I don't care. I don't care what flavor it is.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Dink, dink, dink. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Just stand up like that was Buck. That's how it would end. Somebody would be like, dink! Then what's your clackity, dude? Come on.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Somebody would come and then yell clackity and then it would be over. I think it would be whoever's playing me, probably. Yeah. So I'm the last to come? Yeah. First to show up. First to show up. First to show up. You had to pie face Jermaine Dupri to get
Starting point is 00:13:37 the party started because he's usually the first one to show up and you know he don't leave until the damn thing ends. Would we be teaching? It would have to be in the fortress, wouldn't it? It'd be here and like three Postmates drivers come up with buffalo wings we didn't order and they're like, oh, what a crazy mistake.
Starting point is 00:13:53 And then they just throw them. I like the buffalo wing part of this. Yeah. You like wings. It's 10-10. You're listening to the All Fantasy Everything Late Show. If you have already been to High Plains, I don't think i have shit coming up so just um yeah there we have it oh okay the high plains schedule yeah no i don't know i don't know if it's either high points has happened or it hasn't yeah and if it's happened you should have luck uh yeah come
Starting point is 00:14:21 on fridays yeah and um yeah that's about it. Keep listening to this. This is my favorite thing to do. Beautiful. David Borey in the house, in the studio. The G is silent on Twitter. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. What do you got coming up? This is after High Plains?
Starting point is 00:14:39 Yeah, I think so. Or right around there. I am going to be, I think, going on a big tour that I can't quite announce yet. Oh, yeah. He's opening for Imagine Dragons. Ian. Oh, shit. So I guess all I really got then is, once again, if you're in the pornography industry and you would like.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Or even an amateur. Even an amateur. I give you all likeness rights. All I request is that you put it up on X videos or X and XX. What is it? XX. XX. X.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Tentacion videos. No, calm down. That crazy site that you go to. Calm down. Tentacion. That's not. It's not a crazy site. Oh, wait, as comedians, we're not allowed to talk about XXXTentacion
Starting point is 00:15:30 anymore, right? I can say whatever the fuck I want. We have to talk about Takashi 69 instead. It's a whole different site. Instead of XXXTentacion. Tentacion. What the fuck was he thinking with a name like that? XXXTentacion. XXXTentacion. It worked.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Tentacion. It worked Triple X, it worked. Tentacion. It worked. I guess it did. It's really fun to say, actually. Yeah, you can't. And whenever you see it, you're like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. I'd like to order that.
Starting point is 00:15:54 I retract my criticism. Doesn't that sound like something you'd like to order somewhere? A triple X tentacion. A couple of them, I guess. For the gentleman. Let me get a triple X tentacion with a gin back. We need that triple X tentacion with a Rumpelman's float. And the manager comes over and they're like,
Starting point is 00:16:12 I understand you two gentlemen ordered the triple X tentacions. Just to be clear, we're going to need your keys. The manager takes your keys. I stab him with my keys. All right. Make it a double. Yeah. Triple X tentacion.
Starting point is 00:16:25 He comes over and he's like, I just want to meet the two most discerning gentlemen in this establishment. I feel like after you shoot it, you stamp twice and clap your hands. Stamp, stamp, clap. I love that. Why aren't there more? There should be more flourishes built into drinks.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I think I'm going to start it back up for this winter. I'm into it. Moscow Mules. That's a flourish winner. We can have Framing Winehouse can's a flourish winter. Watch out. We can have Framing Winehouse can be a bar too. And we can just kind of do that kind of stuff. Framing Winehouse? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Fun drinks. Yeah. The framing place. I don't. Oh, oh, that's the frame shop. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Framing Winehouse was good. I was going to call it married to the frame. Yeah. And I love my wifey. Yeah. But yeah. So basically the porno thing or uh you know yeah yeah check me out or just you know stay tuned to the yeah yeah i was gonna call it uh insane in the mem frame insane in the frame i like the in frame got no frame like it's a long
Starting point is 00:17:21 name i would know what we could call it. It's the most dangerous frame. Oh, the most dangerous frame. More than a frame. What is the most dangerous game? Hunting Man. Ah, that's right. That's right. That's what it is. Oh, another time.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I wish it was visual. Ah, yes. Sean's got a tight, not a super tight, not as tight as I've seen it, but it's a pretty tight cross going. And I'm in one of those chairs that's almost higher than me. Yeah, it's a high-backed chair. Crossed over like a weirdo. What is the most dangerous game? Remind me again, gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Ah, yes. Just like a snifter should be. Huh? Where is it? It was like if after he said, ah, yes, if he would have produced a hourglass and turned it over and he said, yeah, you have one hour.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Pulled out my nickel plated cartel gun. All right, gentlemen. I wouldn't be that surprised. The woods are outside. Where would you go? Like right now? Yeah. If Sean was like,
Starting point is 00:18:21 we're about to play the most dangerous game. He pulled out a gun and then the hourglass and he says, you have one hour. There's no people. You can't go tell the cops or anything. I'm not calling you a snitch, but I'm just saying. Where would you go? I'd go to get my fucking gun.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Immediately? There's a gun for you. There is a gun in this scenario, but it's at the top of the tower at the Americana that's where I put your gun because you can have a gun but you have to climb up there and we're only doing this for an hour
Starting point is 00:18:51 we're doing it until one of us is dead my friend one of us dies before this is over so you have an hour to get your shit situated until I hunt is it just me? I take Ian's keys and I drive to the Americana and get that gun. Yeah. I go to CBS Television City. Good luck getting past those
Starting point is 00:19:10 guards, bucko. Several, several checkpoints you got to get past. Especially late at night. He's not getting in there. He's not getting in there. You're not going to find me. You're going to be walking through where they keep all the Price is Right games tripping out because I'm going to be like woohoo. It's going to be echoing off of all of them. And you're going to be walking through where they keep all the Price is Right games tripping out because I'm going to be like
Starting point is 00:19:25 woohoo. It's going to be echoing off of all of them. And you're going to wait until Drew Carey comes back. And you're going to get his gun and shoot Sean. Because like, yeah, I'm going to pop out. You're going to see me, but I'm going to be wearing the glasses with a skinny mic. Oh shit, there he is. Like shuffle
Starting point is 00:19:41 across the floor like a cockroach. Yeah. But then Drew Carey shows up. You shoot Drew Carey. Oh shit. Like shuffle across the floor. Like a cockroach? Yeah. But then Drew Carey shows up. You shoot Drew Carey. Oh, shit. And it's over for you, man. That's a national treasure. You shot a national treasure.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Next one, just I have a bullet for dinner that night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't be doing that. Cut to me in Zihuatanejo. I like it. Yeah. I like it. My. I like it. My name's Ian Carmel.
Starting point is 00:20:07 At Ian Carmel on Twitter. At Ian Carmel on Instagram. Sure is, bud. You know, for God's sake. At Ian Carmel on Jewish DoorDash. Ooh, Jordash. At Ian Carmel in Jordash. A full Jordash top, Jordash bottom.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Why don't you just brought acid wash jeans back? Damn, I feel like we're not far from that. If we're not there already. I'm sure somebody's making a video right now that will bring them back in about a week. I think the bigger challenge would be to specifically bring back Jordache. Jordache the brand. I don't know that you could find Jordache anywhere anymore.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Is Jordache still in business? I'm on it. I should know. If we say Jordache maybe eight more times, that word will cease to have any meaning. Jordash. Jordash? Wes still calling me Jordash. Jordash, god damn it. He calls you Jordash? Jordash!
Starting point is 00:20:56 Yes. Oh, no, I was just No, I know. Yeah, he still calls me Jordash. Oh, no, Jordash is going on. I don't have Jordash. Yeah, we're doing things. We're moving. We're shaking. I'm ordering Jordash. Where. Yeah, we're doing things. We're moving. We're shaking. I'm ordering DoorDash. Where are my Jordache? Spending lots more cash. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Jordache has got a whole thing. Tight. Girls eating carrots. Oh, yeah. No, I don't like carrots. I don't like... Lifestyle brand, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:18 I don't like it anymore. I'm not a carrot man. You're not a carrot man? Tastes like fucking chewed up cardboard to me. That's sweet. I love a carrot. I don't think they're making Jordache for boys anymore chewed up cardboard to me. I don't think they're making Jordache for boys anymore. Well, that's subjective.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Worth it was ever. You can make anything for boys. Fair. Good point, Sean. Any clothing can be for a boy. I don't understand the voice you're doing. Sometimes I just like to do that. Ah, the most dangerous game. Oh, hell yeah. It's one of dangerous game. It's one of his characters.
Starting point is 00:21:48 It's one of his wonderful characters. Now, listeners, it's 1017. What do you have coming up? Nothing. I mean, it's like... If High Plains has happened, nothing. If it hasn't happened, come see us at High Plains. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I got a pretty quiet autumn yeah i know it's like it's it's supposed to be the busy ass comedy time but i just have not put one is out of effort it has been mostly like right after summer like right when fall hits that's like when i start doing road work i'm gonna be making a bunch of goddamn television in that time span yeah you're gonna be in the gym getting swole. Swole patrol. Whoa. We're going to beat both of you guys up this winter.
Starting point is 00:22:28 That's what you don't know. I'm going to be gone. Oh, shit. All winter? No. Swalina Gomez? You're going to be listening to her? Swalina Gomez?
Starting point is 00:22:35 I'm not sure. I mean, I've been practicing Krav Maga off YouTube in the crib. Krav Maga? Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Damn it. Frogman. Frogman James. I know for the listeners. I like to call it Krav Makea. Krav Maga. Damn it. Frogman. Frogman, James. I know for the listeners.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I like to call it Krav Make America Great Again. I bet you do. That wasn't Jason Statham in here. A lot of people probably thought it was Krav Maga. All right. All right, James. Hello. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Step on. I got it. That was your Jason Statham. No, that was my cordon. What? Jason? If Operation Shadowfish does manage to infiltrate this casino, I will disarm them using Krov Maga and then frogmen will descend from the roof
Starting point is 00:23:17 at a rapid pace. All right, Jason, I'm filming a television show. Shut up. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. Man, we're very slowly isolating and chasing away Australian and British listeners. Yeah. No!
Starting point is 00:23:37 I don't have anything. I don't know. I'm just making, I'm just a day job in it, man. I'll probably, I'm sure some gigs will pop up here and there. Yeah. Well, I'm sure we'll be doing some more live AFVs here fairly soon.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Oh, live AFV. Oh, yeah. LA. So at this point, it will be announced. Los Angeles. Oh, yeah. We're doing a live
Starting point is 00:23:55 All Fantasy Everything on October 5th. Yeah, October 5th. Ted 5. Ted 5. October 5, dog. October 5th at the,
Starting point is 00:24:04 it's the, it will have been announced, right? Yeah. It has to have been. It's the new home of Faded. Yeah. It's still in Los Angeles. Yep. It's called the LA Belly Dancing Academy.
Starting point is 00:24:16 You heard that right. Yeah. And I know that sounds weird, but Mike... We haven't seen it yet, but Mike Malloy swears it's a wonderful space. He found Blue History Man. He knows what he's doing. That boy tickets. I imagine it'll be on sale by now.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Hopefully they're not sold out. If, although if you listen to this, you will have found out. And, uh, yeah, yeah,
Starting point is 00:24:33 yeah. Yeah. Come out. That'll be fun. And then later that night, you're not invited, but I'm going to be having a birthday party. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Yeah. I'm debating on whether or not to try to buy you one of those bottles of champagne with the spark. That's why I was trying to price it out. it out I think it would be just one black bottle like you have in the thing comes in with a drone is that what they do? like in Vegas I think they deliver it via drone
Starting point is 00:24:57 but it's like $1300 or something stupid don't spend that much okay we'll talk about it off there. Don't don't. Maybe we'll get a pool going. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:09 We'll get a little pool going. I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to chill in a pool. No,
Starting point is 00:25:14 no, you're silly. You're silly. You're silly. Shut the fuck up. I'm just pulling your dick. I'm just kidding. Don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Is that the term? Didn't look. I'm just kidding. Don't worry about it. Is that the term? Look, I was laughing. Yeah, so that's it. It's 1021 on the late shift on AFE live. You're listening to Sean, David, and Ian bringing you all the golden oldies
Starting point is 00:25:41 and the moldy goldie roly polies. I don't think I would be a good late night DJ. I have a very excitable voice. You're for the morning. I'm for the morning, man. Hey, you've reached Stinkle. Stinky and the weasel.
Starting point is 00:25:57 I don't know if you guys listen to the radio too much. They still fucking... My mom has a radio in the car. No other kind of device to play anything. And so when I take her to these doctor appointments, I listen to the radio. It's still fucking, my mom has a radio in the car, no other kind of device to play anything. And so when I take her to these doctor appointments, I listen to the radio. It's still the fucking. I heard you can't live without your radio.
Starting point is 00:26:10 It's that, dude. No, I can't. I couldn't survive without my radio. I am not familiar. Well, my radio, believe me, I like it loud. I'm a man with the box that can rock the crowd. Something from the hardcore. Coming down the street with the hardcore beat?
Starting point is 00:26:26 While your JVC vibrates the concrete. I'm sorry if you can't understand, but I need a radio inside my hand. Don't mean to offend. You know that movie yesterday? Sorry to interrupt the rap song.
Starting point is 00:26:41 I believe you know the rest of it. If LL Cool J was never around. I haven't seen it, but it's only the LL Cool J songs, and it's only you specifically who remembers them. That's so funny. It wouldn't really change your life that much. No, because nobody would be like, when you were 15 in Sioux Falls, nobody would be like, I have this song.
Starting point is 00:27:01 It's called Doing It. I just go in like. He only remembers them now. He's 37. You guys got to hear me out. Just listen to me say, I want to hit it in the worst way. They're like, get the fuck out of here. Blotitious.
Starting point is 00:27:16 What? And then I bring in a girl I grew up with from Sioux Falls. No, sing the chorus. Doing it. No, get the fuck out of here Sioux Falls. No, it's sing the chorus. Doing it and doing it. No, get the fuck out of here. Just leave. None of that's going to work. None of that's going to work.
Starting point is 00:27:31 What's another fucking Hello Cool J song? I'm bad. Your hat is like a shark's fin. Deepest blue. It's my hat. It's like a shark's fin. Yeah. No, they wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:27:41 That would be hilarious. None of those songs would get made. It would not change your life one scintilla. It would make it worse if anything. Yeah, yeah you just be doing i need love on tiktok i need love sometimes i sit in my room alone i stare at the wall and in the back of my cancel sit in your room you fucking incel go out see the world buy a ticket to see the joker you weirdo girl god i hate that he's a stand-up comedian who all the douchebags are stand-up comedians oh wait you mean in the in the movie he's a dude comedy's beat bro i'm gonna go do something else it's for it's corny i'm getting into uh kayak guiding see that's what i'm talking about yeah
Starting point is 00:28:26 i really think i could be great at cross stitching yeah like prolific because comedy's tapped it's for nerds it's like i'm gonna stick with framing but yeah oh yeah and the most dangerous game once a once a month but yeah once you find out what that is the most dangerous game once a month Is this hack? I smash It's like I'm on my period It's like Oh yes, the most dangerous game I'm just
Starting point is 00:28:57 I just stand there like a kingsman though It'd be a shame to waste any of this The most dangerous game When you say this, what do you mean? Discarded uterine lining? No, I was trying to do the scotch thing. Oh, it's a sin to waste good brandy.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Or something like that. So, we are gathered here in the Fortress Is All Dudes at 1025pm. I was just going to say, what time is it? I got you. Not only to misquote The Kingsman, which is a wonderful movie, and a pretty good sequel, and hopefully a fantastic third one,
Starting point is 00:29:31 but also to fantasy draft, as we are wont to do, things to do on a rainy day. Now, this was chosen by the Patreon members. Sue Carmel put her thumb on the scale, I heard. Was it her suggestion? Or was it? There were like 120 or something suggestions. Damn.
Starting point is 00:29:53 We just got to make a list. We can't make a poll with 120 because everyone has like 1%. So yeah, we just kind of pick what sounds like it would work the best for maybe that night or the day, depending if we have a guest or something. But Sue, I'm going to read the comment. I'm just trying to get to it.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Do you want me to sing in the meantime? No. Things to do on a rainy day is perfect. I do not want you to sing. Things to do on a rainy day is perfect. No, that's in here. Oh, wow. My mom knows me.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Things to do on a rainy day is perfect, since it's been storming off and on the last two days in your hometown, Beaverton, and your mama said so so yeah you can't argue with that my mama says so and it's been storming in beaverton you know actually i've been thinking of a song about something my mama said oh yeah yeah what'd she say all right mama said knock you out whoa yeah it's all right right you think they'd make that at a record label No I think it's stupid I think you don't have any talent Hold on Mama said knock you out I'm gonna knock you out
Starting point is 00:30:52 I don't even understand what you're talking about Mama said knock you out I'm gonna knock Shane out We've never met I can't believe that song was ever big Even coming from Ladies Love Cool James It was a weird song. It's good if you listen to it.
Starting point is 00:31:07 You don't like it? I don't have to listen to it again. Didn't his grandma tell him to do that? Isn't that what happened? It's good. I can't ever see it getting me hyped. But, you know, I get it. Isn't the whole point of that to get hyped?
Starting point is 00:31:22 It was like 30 years ago. It was a long time ago, yeah. Yeah, maybe more than 30 years ago. hyped? It was like 30 years ago or some shit, right? It was a long time ago, yeah. Yeah, maybe more than 30 years ago. Anyway, it was a long time ago. Things get on a rainy day. My mom posted that it's storming in Beaverton. Like, I didn't feel it in my bones.
Starting point is 00:31:33 I felt it. I knew it. I've been storming myself. I've been in the mood. When the winds get to changing. When the winds get to changing. When the dark clouds roll in over Beaverton. The mood changes.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Target closes a little bit early. Yeah, it does. The iced coffee at Starbucks is just a little bit colder. And the winds of Tannisborne chill them into his bones. When it storms in Beaverton, every house looks even more the same. And if you hear a screeching,
Starting point is 00:32:14 it ain't the wind chomps to blame. When it storms in Beaverton. Is this a poem? It's a house. I was going to say haiku, but I can't identify the syllables. I'm syllable deaf. He's syllable deaf. It actually is a growing problem.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Thank you for bringing it up because the live AFE on October 5th will be raising money for syllable deafness. Syllable deaf. Yeah. Syllable deafness is the rapper name you would choose. Syllable deafness. Now, the way we determine the order of today's draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the two of you and you throw on shoot here we go
Starting point is 00:32:50 rock paper scissors shoot god damn it oh david wins david wins that was the first one-on-one we've had in a while it's been a minute it's been a minute uh now david you having won rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do, I'd love to remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what, may I ask, is that? That's a fine question. It's a great question. If you're playing like checkers. You've never done that?
Starting point is 00:33:19 First of all, if you're playing checkers, I'm playing chess, bro. You both just sit back and like, let's hear what fucking dumb, let's hear the dumb one that you thought of today. Why all you did was watch mind hunter and have to think of something to say. It's like if you're playing checkers and you're in sort of a stalemate. So somebody kind of moves to the left and then all you do is you move to the right and then they move to the right. And then you're like, well, I don't want to lose the game. So I'm just going to move back to the left.
Starting point is 00:33:45 But you don't have anywhere else to go. And then so they move back to the left. You're like, well, again, I don't want to lose. So you just point back to the right. And then, again, you know, steal me. Flip the board over and go find the real party. And then you go, it's been an hour. Flip the board over.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I'm going to go kill David. Oh, no. The most dangerous game is afoot. Oh, no. The most dangerous game is afoot. Where's my brandy? Bring me my brandy. Bring me my gun brandy. Bring me my gun brandy. My shooter's liquor.
Starting point is 00:34:16 I've heard that said in a very different accent. Yeah. So, yeah. Brandy, get my gun, girl. Basically, what it means is You pick third in the first round You pick first in the second round With that in mind At 10.30pm
Starting point is 00:34:32 Yeah What will the order Of today's draft be? I guess it's gonna go Mishon Ian Oh Mishon Mishon Mishon Ian
Starting point is 00:34:39 He played tailback At Florida State Yeah Mishon Ian Yeah Yeah we worked him in the system He started out as a slotback The kid was a pure athlete. Well, he had 1,200 total yards.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, have you seen that kid? He runs a 4-4-40. He's fantastic. He's quick. In pads. Good guy, too, actually. Quickest first step I've seen off the line since fuck Dion. Fuck, yeah. Really? You know what'd be fun? Just have an AFE field day where we all go do this
Starting point is 00:35:04 stuff, like run a 40. Zach can see how far he can throw that football. I don't really want to know. I feel like my body would fall apart if I tried to run a 40. Well, that's just the first thing I thought of. We'll just have to do dot drills. Did you guys ever do dot drills? I like the two foot one.
Starting point is 00:35:20 The dot drill, it's like a mat and it's got five dots on it. I did those then so I don't have to do them now, you know? I made my money. I played five seasons, all right? I'd be interested to see how it worked. The key to dot drill is keeping your body, like, body, like, weight centered over the middle. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:35:38 And then, like, just move it. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I was not good at them then. Talk about your body some more. Your body. So, it goes David Sean Ian, Hot Corner. Hot Corner.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Baby doll. So, David, it's about to be your first pick in the things to do on a rainy day, as condoned by St. Sue Carmel, all fans here at The Graft. But before we get to your pick, we're going to take a quick break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their
Starting point is 00:36:15 policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy genius. Essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life., it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything, but it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like
Starting point is 00:36:52 researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in,
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Starting point is 00:37:38 handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah,
Starting point is 00:38:21 I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing. Just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley. All right?
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Starting point is 00:39:50 They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you, and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it. Babbel's tips and tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key, conversation. You want to know how to get by, right? And like I said, little 10-minute segments, they're perfect for, say, someone like myself, don't have a huge attention span, 10 minutes in and out, boom, you're done. And, you know, don't just try a word for word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University,
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Starting point is 00:40:49 listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash all fantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could. Let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind.
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Starting point is 00:42:34 you get 15% off with code ALLFANTASY at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY. And we're back! It's 1032. Quiet storm. It feels like a way later 1032. The quiet storm is rolling in.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Because I'm like, just chilling. And it's, yeah. It is funny. I like this. I lean forward. I'm leaning forward now. Yeah. I see it. Just letting everyone know. He's leaning forward in. Yeah. I see it. Just letting everyone know. Yeah. He's leaning forward in the chair.
Starting point is 00:43:07 The legs are uncrossed. Yeah. Whole hog out. His whole dick is out. What is this? A fucking luau? Yeah. Show us that roast pig.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Daniel LaBordia, it's time for your first pick. My first pick is a food combination. Ooh. And it works best when it's raining outside you got your socks on socks sweatpants maybe you're gonna watch a documentary all right let's maybe let's uh yeah oh sorry talking hitting that and it's i only ever make it at home I try not to ever buy this combination outside of the house grilled cheese and tomato soup
Starting point is 00:43:47 oh what a great pick yeah oh my god it's weird if you get it out of the house but and it feels like a rainy day it's just like just something about that like absolutely oh my god it's so good then you go make six more
Starting point is 00:44:03 yeah you're dipping you're dipping them in there convincing yourself Oh my God. It's so good. Then you go make six more. Yeah. You're dipping them in there convincing yourself it's like a cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is vegetables, baby. I gotta make another sandwich because there's more soup. What's the difference between this and dipping a saltine in there? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:44:20 That's still one of my favorite things to do, just tomato soup and saltines, but I've used sleeves of saltines in there. I'm just like, well, there's still a little soup. I've used sleeves of grilled cheese sandwiches. Grilled sleeves. Are you cracker over grilled cheese?
Starting point is 00:44:37 No, but the prep I am. Hold on a minute. You don't have to do anything. Sean, you were being chased off by the preparation involved in making a grilled cheese sandwich do you not know how to cook at all you have to do a couple things and yeah literally to get a couple things raining outside where are you gonna go do some pop shove it's fucking butter the bread put some cheese on it. You coward. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:45:06 Just what? It's literally two things. It's two things. On a rainy day, sure. But on your average time when I'm going to eat tomato soup, I'm going to go crackers over grilled cheese. What's the average? How much tomato soup do you eat?
Starting point is 00:45:24 Not a lot these days, but it's, I's i mean last year i was eating a bunch of tomatoes you need to learn to love yourself because you deserve a grilled cheese sandwich over crackers yeah you monster yeah i might do it tonight it sounds good you should they're wonderful yeah what cheese are we talking about here your classic craft single i like yeah i like a craft single but i like here's how i like to do my shit. I like to hit my joints. I like American cheddar. Yeah. And then I like to do mayonnaise on the outside. I've heard about this. I've never had it to my knowledge because maybe I've had it at a restaurant. Mayonnaise on the outside, mayonnaise on the inside.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Ice cream paint job. And then, but yeah, pan fry it. Yeah. Just get it like, oh. Inside fish sticks, outside tartar sauce? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inside peanut butter, outside chalet. it yeah just get it like oh inside fish sticks outside tartar sauce yeah yeah yeah inside peanut butter outside chalet um what is the difference now you've had butter as well i'm sure yeah what
Starting point is 00:46:12 is the big difference between the mayonnaise and the butter one i feel like and this might be psychosomatic yeah but i feel like it's insane i'm sorry i don't even i don't prodigy I'm sorry. I don't even, I don't get it. Prodigy. Smack my bitch up. Play my game. Exhale, exhale.
Starting point is 00:46:29 You are the victim. You don't know that song? Oh, I do. You know Prodigy? Dwee, wee. Dwee, wee. Are we talking about Smack My Bitch Up? Is that not a Prodigy song? It is, yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:46:43 But we're not talking about that specific one. We're talking about Firestarter. Yeah. Yeah, Firestarter. Twisted Firestarter. I'm the Firestarter. Twisted Firestarter. You know this fucking dude?
Starting point is 00:46:54 Sounds like it's from Mad Max. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. It looks, they look like they're from Mad Max. Yeah, that's fair. Anyway, didn't mean to interrupt you. Psychosomatic. What were you asking? The difference between butter and mayonnaise. Oh, psychosomatic.
Starting point is 00:47:08 I think... I think the crust tastes... The char or whatever you want to call it, it's a little tangier. Yeah, I can see it puts a little zip on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you using any kind of like cool bread? No, I'm wondering.
Starting point is 00:47:26 You don't use money when you do it? I don't buy bread that often, but... Almost never at Bread and the Crew. Yeah. I'll tell you this. I got a katana within three feet of me at any moment. There's nunchucks right over there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Well, there really are nunchucks. There really are nunchucks. What about when we were at Faded the other night? And shout out to Donovan Strain. Our boy, Donovan. He came to Faded? He came to Faded. It was awesome. He came to the short film, too.
Starting point is 00:47:49 That guy rules. That guy's awesome. Shout out to you if you're listening. If you're not, shout out to you, and I hope you feel it. He wanted to see Sean get down with the nunchucks, and we were talking about post-mating nunchucks, and I'm like, whoa. He pulled up a nunchuck spot that was open.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Am I wrong? Wait, wait, wait. That pulled up like a nunchuck spot that was open. Am I wrong? Wait, wait, wait. I don't remember. He pulled up a nunchuck spot? On his phone. So he's got a nunchuck place. Because he's really good at it too. Probably better than I am. Yeah, he's really good at it. Is this just like a skateboarder thing? Buttery nunchucks?
Starting point is 00:48:19 I think we have a different set of skills so don't catch us in the same place at the same time, Shane. Otherwise, you're fucking... Wow. I don't catch us in the same place at the same time, Shane. Otherwise, you're fucking... I don't want to complete the cipher. Yeah, you'd be dead. Me and Shane. So he found... No, he has nunchucks, but he
Starting point is 00:48:36 has like a spot where he gets them and he pulled up the site. It probably wasn't open because it's like one in the morning, but I was hammered. But I thought... It wasn't one in the morning. It was like probably 11. We didn't get to... Sun was out, bud. We didn't get to roost until like midnight and we only stayed for...
Starting point is 00:48:51 We got back here pretty early. Really? Yeah. Okay. I guess just because we went to the roost, I just assumed it was like 1.30. No way. But yeah, he sent... He's got a pair of nunchucks with a chain because he's a rope guy, which is insane. So he's going to give me the ones with the chain, I think. What do you mean? There's a difference?
Starting point is 00:49:08 So what connects the two chucks would be the chain or the rope. He's a rope person. It's just crazy. I don't understand that. I don't. You know, we're not built to understand everything. That's true. So grilled cheese. Yeah, man, you got to eat that grilled cheese.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I'll fuck it up with some Dave's Killer Bread every now and then. That's kind of what I was saying. I'll do a real bougie grilled cheese every now and then. Oh, yeah. Oh, that, you gotta eat that grilled cheese. I will, I'll fuck it up with some like Dave's Killer Bread every now and then and do like a real... That's kind of what I was saying. I'll do a real bougie grilled cheese every now and then. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's so much fun. I'll do like pepper jack in there. Oh, I love a pepper jack, yeah. Oh, and then I love it when you get it just crispy enough and then you get a little hot sauce on top. Golden brown. Sometimes you can
Starting point is 00:49:37 collect some cheese, like get a brick of cheese and cut it like that and go crazy with it. So it's not like slices of cheese? Does it make sense? Absolutely. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, okay. You look to me like a lunatic. Like, you got a brick of cheese and just cut it up so you got little rectangle hunks of cheese
Starting point is 00:49:51 so they're thicker. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like way more gooey. Yeah, pre-sliced cheese is a scam, dude. That's how they got Capone. Oh, I've just stopped laughing because we're going to cramp. All right. Yeah, that's the funniest thing
Starting point is 00:50:17 I've heard in a decade. If that out of context AFV doesn't tweet that several times they're fucking sleeping on the job that's very funny that's a real fun twitter account by the way shout out to that one we really enjoy that
Starting point is 00:50:34 I have no idea saying half of that stuff I don't remember the context at all sometimes the podcast will come out and people will start tweeting at me and I don't know what they're talking about. People are like, whoa, this is for David because that pixie stick stance was crazy.
Starting point is 00:50:52 I'm like, I don't know, man. I blacked out. I blacked out in there. I couldn't tell you how I feel about pixie sticks right now. I don't know what the fuck was going on. Grilled cheese and tomato soup. Excellent pick. Sean Jordan, your first pick. Yeah, that was
Starting point is 00:51:06 way better than mine. I mean, I'm going pretty basic, but I just think it's like what I would do on a rainy day and I'm just going to binge watch something. Binge watch? Yeah, I'm going to binge watch. Binge watch what? Like a series. Like a show. Yeah, like Friday Night Lights is a fantastic one to say. Seinfeld
Starting point is 00:51:23 is another one that comes up. It might as well have been raining today because I just watched Mindhunter all day. But it's just, don't you just sit around? Because you don't feel bad about not going anywhere. Because it's rainy. Yeah, and you can sit and you can, you know, not to get into other details, but yeah,
Starting point is 00:51:39 just sit and you don't feel bad. As opposed to all those nice weather days when you're out there buzzing around Glendale. When I'm out there running, running, training. Like, what are you training for? I'm like, dude, I don't even know what I'm training for. I just try to be training most of the time. When it comes, you're going to be ready.
Starting point is 00:51:56 I see, wait, shit, is that, no, I thought I was training for that, but that's just a white BMW. So if I was training for that, I'd always be fighting. I was thinking about just riding a Lime scooter the other day for no reason. I was just in my house, sort of high, and I was like, I have two hours with nothing
Starting point is 00:52:12 to do. I can't go fuck up a scooter. I've never gotten on one. Me either. Shane, he was down saying yesterday he got on one, and he says he feels like he's going to die. He's giving me a look. He said he feels like he's going to die when he gets on one. Shane Torres got on a lime scooter, huh? And was scooting around wherever he was.
Starting point is 00:52:31 He said he felt like he was going to die. You were in the car. Somebody was with me. Oh, Charlene. That's right. I didn't drive in a car yesterday. No, that's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Anyway, he said he's done it a couple times and it's fun, but he just feels like he's going to die. And I'm like, yeah, some people get cooking on those things. I would love to see Shane on a scooter. Hair flying off from the distance. Oh, I bet it's beautiful. Denim flapping in the wind.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Maniacal laugh. Just cruising like through, through a very clear, no scooter zone. I just want to see. No scoot zone yeah shut it Gramps no scoot
Starting point is 00:53:08 I don't know why he says Gramps he does though he would shut it Gramps oh man scooting's for lovers Shane Torres
Starting point is 00:53:15 is a 1950s street tough oh man yeah tell me about it Stad oh that's the other one no that's him too when he stops he does that thing
Starting point is 00:53:24 where he skids I'm thinking about him as Sandy in this scenario everyone's Shane tell me about it scoot Oh, that's the other one. No, that's him too. When he stops. He does that thing where he skids. In this scenario, everyone's Shane. Tell me about it, Scoot. Tell me more. Tell me more. This reminds me of a sketch that my buddy, I have this buddy, Dirk Marshall.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Some of this buddy. I just did Dirk's podcast. Yeah. Co-founder of Marshall's Hot Sauce. Showed me the whole lab, dude. That place is sick. That's amazing. He is a wonderful person.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Shout out to his wife, Sarah, and their little baby, too. Yep. All lovely, lovely people. Little baby. Little baby. But... Little baby. He thought of this sketch back when we...
Starting point is 00:53:55 Like, because we used to do improv together. We were in my very first improv class. He was in it. And, like, we were... What did you guys call yourselves? God. We had one called... God.
Starting point is 00:54:03 That was God. We joined one... God. Kanye got it from us. We had one called... God. We joined one... God. Kanye got it from us. We joined one called Whatever Happened to Miguel, which we didn't name. And then we did
Starting point is 00:54:10 My Own Private Improv, which was named after My Own Private Improv, the movie. And then one called Corporate Headquarters, just because like... That's fun.
Starting point is 00:54:18 What are you going to name the thing? He had this idea for a sketch where it was a whole office, but everyone there was Harvey Fierstein. Oh, yeah. And it's still to this day one of the funniest but everyone there was Harvey Fierstein. Oh, yeah. And it's still to this day one of the funniest things. You love Harvey Fierstein, too.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Where it's like it opens on someone answering the phone, and they're like, hello? Yes, just a minute. Are you here? I'm not here. He's actually just stepped out. Hey, Danielle, do you want any coffee? Actually, I'd love a latte.
Starting point is 00:54:43 All right, we're going to send someone for lattes. Oh, give me one. Okay. You want one too? You still owe me $7 from last time. You're going to need to pack up your desk. Remember, there's a mandatory HR meeting at the end of the day. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Yeah. That would be tight. That's a hilarious idea. Shout out to Dirk. Binge watching a show, he says. Yeah. Binge watching a show. I guess it's a rainy day tonight.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I'm saying. I know. It is funny to get called out as I'm making this list. I'm like, we could just be drafting a day. Well, it doesn't really rain. It never rains in Glendale, they say. They say it never rains in Glendale. But yeah, binge watching a day. Well, it doesn't really rain. It never rains in Glendale, they say. They say it never rains in Glendale. But yeah, binge-watching a show, it is
Starting point is 00:55:29 nice. Yeah, you just don't feel bad when it's raining. You know what I mean? It's just fun. Time for my first pick. Unless you have more to say. That grilled cheese tomato really threw me for a loop. No criticism of your pick, by the way. It's a good pick, but it's not like a banger, you know?
Starting point is 00:55:47 I mean, the rest aren't bangers either. Nobody's talking to you. I'm talking about you. I got some bangers. No, the rest of mine are squares. Civilians, homeboy. I got a couple I think I can take later. You fucked up.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Jesus, a billion. With my first one, I'm going to take having a long, hard look in the mirror. Dude, that shook me because I don't know the last time I've ever done that. When you said that, I immediately was like, something
Starting point is 00:56:17 required. Then I was like, I have to do it. Just taking a long, hard look in the goddamn mirror. Do you do that often often i'll do it every now and then yeah how long i'll take a personal inventory where are you talking i'm not talking no i know i'm aware like what i'm saying like oh i thought you were talking about literally looking no i'll do that too though but like no but like just kind of just like taking a journey like just looking in the mirror like thinking about shit like what am i doing what's going on
Starting point is 00:56:43 personal inventory introspection. How long do you think? I don't know. I'll lay around. I was thinking about that. I'll lay around for like an hour, two hours, just let my mind wander every now and then. Yeah, just looking at the rain. Hearing the rain more than anything. No, you laugh at the rain. Like a guy in that Soul Asylum song.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Well, I'm only happy when it rains, actually. Just letting the, just hearing the rain hit the windows. Because that's why they call it window pain. I guess that's why they call it window pain, dude. If there's a little wind whipping around, too, and just sort of, my brain operates better when there's a little ambient noise in the background. Oh, yeah, I need that white stone.
Starting point is 00:57:17 I don't know how people can do it. Honestly, a little unnerving right now because there's no noise. Except for us talking, but like, it's just so quiet. It's weird to me. I need some noise. I found going to sleep.
Starting point is 00:57:31 I need some noise or I get scared. I need a fan in the town home in the Valley. Oh yeah. I gotta have, I've been putting on some ambient locking doors. I locked the door. I, the doors unlocked until I go to bed.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Yeah. But then it's just something about being upstairs. I locked that door. Well, so here, so here's my though. Does it make you nervous having a fan on because you won't be able to hear anything when it happens?
Starting point is 00:57:50 Not to scare you, but I get freaked out about that. Really? Because I still get scared in houses by myself. And I have to sleep with a fan on all the time. And I get scared.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Like if somebody broke in, I would not hear it. I kind of am pretty confident I would. I also have no protection. I kind of am pretty confident I would. I also have no protection. I got to get like a Louisville slug or some condoms or something. I mean, what are they coming in here for? That massive panning on me? Probably.
Starting point is 00:58:15 It's going to be easy to get when I hang it on the fucking wall. They're not going to have to snoop too far. I have a gate. I'm behind a gate. So I feel like it's already more work than your average oh yeah average robber no one's gonna see that and be like that's where i'm short of like the manson family bursting in or like an actual murderer and if that's the case i guess my time is just up but like i don't feel like i'm getting robbed and if i am go ahead and take it i don't care there's
Starting point is 00:58:38 nothing in here especially not when i'm a killer die for it yeah yeah it's just i don't yeah it doesn't i don't i don't know that I've ever had anything that I wouldn't just be like, yep, take it. It's yours, you know? And honestly, not that many people know where I live. No, until I put your address on the Patreon. I don't know your address.
Starting point is 00:58:57 You'd have to tell me. Yeah, exactly. And I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna now. I'm not gonna now. You just locked yourself. You just lost your house privileges no i really am though still i'm still and i it's probably never gonna go away i'm still scared to sleep in a house by myself yeah i can sleep in an apartment by myself but you had very traumatic
Starting point is 00:59:16 sleep issues yeah but it was just that the one my mom's boyfriend breaking in when i was a kid but that like pretty gnarly one though yeah Yeah. What that can do to you though. Like it just fucked up my ever. That's why they call a window. That is why they call a window pain, dude. It's 1049 real quick. Tech nine has a song called the rain. That's real dope. You
Starting point is 00:59:37 should listen to it if you haven't. Missy Elliott. Yeah. It has a better song called the right daughter rapping on his though. It's really good, dude. Yeah, it's just good. There's something about, and maybe like taking a good, long, hard look at yourself as part of it, but just like letting the mind wander, having to think. See, here's my problem.
Starting point is 00:59:58 I'm always wandering. Like, I can't keep my mind from not wandering. Oh, mine is, yeah yeah so i feel like maybe i need the reverse like that's why i smoke weed and stuff just to like focus because i'm always just i'm thinking about crazy shit right now you're thinking about the deadliest game that we're gonna play i'm thinking about whatever happened to the flavor blue raspberry like how did it come you don't see it as often How did it even come about and how did it go away
Starting point is 01:00:28 What a strange I feel like whatever made it taste like that was that color Yeah it tasted like blue But it was always But the marketing worked because I would always pick that Also grape is purple And raspberries are purple But you couldn't make it
Starting point is 01:00:44 Raspberry stuff purple I'd say raspberries are purple, but you couldn't make it. No. Raspberry stuff purple. No. I'd say raspberries are red. Am I a lunatic? Maybe you're right. They are red.
Starting point is 01:00:51 You're right. But what? Those are already, that is already a flavor. But is anything blue? There's nothing blue that's a flavor. Blueberries. Fucking A. Yeah, there sure are. There sure are blueberries, aren't there?
Starting point is 01:01:03 You gotta eat, start eating some fruits and vegetables. We gotta mix some of the diet, man. Dog, that's not even... There sure are blueberries. That wasn't even complicated. That wasn't like papaya. That's one of the big five. I thought about it before I said it.
Starting point is 01:01:14 I'm like, well, there's no blue oranges, blue apple. What am I doing? There's none of that. I mean, there isn't. I'm going to bring this up and these dudes are going to be like, Sean, you're prolific. You're a thinker, bud. No, there sure are.
Starting point is 01:01:24 There's a blue fruit with the name right there in it, isn't there? Yeah, it're prolific. You're a thinker, bud. No, there sure are. There's a blue fruit with the name right there in it, isn't there? Yeah, it leads with that. A lot of candy, a lot of stuff made of blueberries. Sure. I spoke a lot of way to turn my brain off, but my horses are often attached to a wagon at the Late Late Show
Starting point is 01:01:40 with James Corden painted on the side of it. On a nice rainy day, it's fun to let them like run free. Yeah. Just let them. Yeah. Put them out the pasture a little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Talk my dick between my legs. Yeah. Absolutely. Come on. Come on. You're getting into it. Yeah. It's a rainy day.
Starting point is 01:01:56 Come on, dude. I thought we said we were going to do that. David got nervous when you said a look in the mirror because he's looking in the mirror when he does it. That's why they call it window pane. I'd fuck me. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me hard.
Starting point is 01:02:12 With my second pick, as it is a serpentine draft, and I do have the hot corner, I'm going to pick listening to an album that I've never listened to before all the way the goddamn hell through. Oh, I like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:28 That's a good, I don't, I rarely do that now. I listen to albums in like thirds now, which is so embarrassing because albums are like 12 songs now. And they're usually short. Yeah. And I still, I still don't listen to whole albums very often. Like if it's something I was really excited for, I'll listen to the whole thing. It also doesn't have to be something i've never listened to before but i do
Starting point is 01:02:47 love on a rainy day putting some music on and listening to it like all the way through i love biting into something dense like listening to like yeah the miseducation of lauren hill yeah what i played some of that last night you did and did but like and it made me think about like how that album is like the whole thing is an experience you know like yeah man that's a good that's a good pick it's fun to do there's so much good music out there riddle box tunnel of love great malenko there you go you know what's good to listen to on a rainy day uh Paul Simon joint. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's what it is. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Yep. Man walks down the street.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Why am I short of attention? Got a short little span of attention. Rest of my life is so hard. I want an opportunity. I want a shot at redemption. Don't want to be a cartoon in a cartoon digger's graveyard. Bone digger, bone digger. Get these mutts away from me. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. in a cartoon digger's graveyard. Bone digger, bone digger.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Get these mutts away from me. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. That song does freak me out. I never knew those were the lyrics. Yeah. The lyrics to that song are super weird. Yeah. Man walks down the street. It's a street in a strange world.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Maybe it's the third world. Maybe it's his first time around. Holds no currency. Don't speak the language he is a foreign man he is surrounded by the sounds sounds cattle in the marketplace and something like any of those words cattle in the marketplace yeah i don't angels in the architecture they're spinning an affinity he says hey, hey, hallelujah. Paul Simon really got away with like some ghost face level of like, I don't really know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 01:04:32 That song is kind of about something a little bit, I guess. Kind of. But it's also kind of like get the moolies and the toolies and the dooly whops where you're like, all right, I don't know. All right. Because he's just saying stuff. And then I came out the door and there were some wolves there. And I cried down to the sounds, sounds of the spleen up in my insides.
Starting point is 01:04:57 And I don't think I can eat candy anymore. But you know what I mean? And you're just like, I don't know. Does that mean anything yeah it's really deep or it's because honestly bob dylan is like that a lot of the time oh yeah that was the funniest part about that fucking walk hard movie when they made fun of dylan oh yeah it was mailboxes drip like lampposts in the caliseum it's so. So I think it's, I think,
Starting point is 01:05:26 man, I think there's a thin line when you're getting into really artsy shit. Between love and basketball. Where it's like, yo, I think nobody understands this. And that's how you got away with it. Everybody seemed to buy into whatever Bob Dylan was selling on that.
Starting point is 01:05:38 But that's all you need. Cause it was the right. I bought into all kinds of shit that was wrong. Dude, everybody was on hard drugs. I mean, you're going to buy into the shit like the, of course. Even on soft drugs. Like, I let rappers say shit that I know is not maybe that deep all the time.
Starting point is 01:05:52 But, like, music gets away with, especially folk music, gets away with just, like. Once upon a time, you dressed so fine. Threw the bumps of dime in your prime. Did you? Like, you're supposed to, you expect me to believe he's a prolific songwriter But nowhere there in that scheme He said 69 Okay
Starting point is 01:06:11 American Treasure, okay I think like a Rolling Stone Is something about like a girl who grew up rich Like Falling into disrepair or something like that But I could be wrong I could be fucking wrong Yeah. I could be fucking wrong. It is a thick text.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Or like what's that American Pie song? What's that about? That is about the day that Big Bopper and Frankie Valli Richie Valens Buddy Holly. There we go. I was trying to say a skateboarder. Big Bopper, Buddy Holly and Richie Valens
Starting point is 01:06:44 died. That's what that song is about. I had no idea. And just sort of the end of that era. Yeah. The day the music died. I wrote a paper on that song. For a traffic school? Break it down some for diversion?
Starting point is 01:06:58 For Sioux Falls High School. That's all they've been getting. Break it down some more. I wrote a paper on that in anger management. It was my favorite song. It always has been. If someone asks, what's your favorite song? American Pie, just because it's... Man, we had different high school experiences.
Starting point is 01:07:11 What year did you write that, do you think? 97? Okay, yeah. So early high school. Yeah. Did you have to read it in front of the class? No, I don't think so. I think that's a rich text worth analyzing. I was just thinking back
Starting point is 01:07:27 to a high school paper I remember writing and it was like, I was such a nerd. I wrote like a paper on the roots of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as it related to... No, you're smart. I made a doghouse.
Starting point is 01:07:45 For my senior power of one project. The Ottoman Empire held it for so long, for hundreds of years. And they, like where Jews were second class citizens, but were allowed to coexist there. Kind of like how it is now. And then the Brits took it over after World War I ended and the Ottoman Empire crumbled. And then they promised it to both parties.
Starting point is 01:08:04 And strange, like, not strange, you'll actually know what's going on. The Brits promised it to the Arab people, the Palestinian people there, and to the Jews as well, who had all moved there in an effort, a Zionist effort to start a country there. And the Palestinians ran it first
Starting point is 01:08:22 and the Jews were bombing them left and right. They bombed like a hotel with a bunch of Brits in it and all this shit. It was crazy. They were gnarly, dude. And they remain gnarly. I played nutball in the athletic hallway. We did not do that as well.
Starting point is 01:08:37 We used to play bloody knuckles at lunch. Yeah, quarters. Where you just, you ever do that? Where you just put, paint a picture, both thumbs on a quarter and just fling it at someone's knuckles yeah and whoever bleeds first is the loser i stopped getting played and i i didn't think uh it was worth i didn't see what the what winning it didn't really no you had no control yeah in elizabeth this is so dumb sometimes at parties
Starting point is 01:09:00 we in on people's wood floors by way, you would stand with your legs apart and try to toss a knife and make it stick in between the other guy's legs. The version of Mumbly Peg right there. And then you would back up and keep doing it. Tell you what, I have a crew of friends that are all well into their 30s that sent me a video of them doing that at the skate park no more than a month ago. And it wasn't on a wood board.
Starting point is 01:09:24 It was them standing. There was a wood board behind them. Dude was standing. One leg was up in the air. He did have his hand over his nuts, but still let somebody throw from a good 10 feet away a knife at his nuts. And it was six inches away. Jesus. Six inches.
Starting point is 01:09:40 There's another video of these same gentleman. Imagine having to tell your girl that. Same gentleman. I know what happened. Oh, DJ, huck a knife at my balls. It hit him because we'd been drinking since five. Yeah, come to find out. You can throw a knife and cut a dick off. Yeah, there's one where they did it. Nice with it.
Starting point is 01:09:58 He had his hand over his face, but it was still the same thing, but it was thrown at his head. And I almost called them and yelled at him. I almost called and was like, hey, dudes, come on. Yeah. But honestly, if I'd have been there, I bet I would have been like, yeah, go for it.
Starting point is 01:10:12 He's a grown up making up his own mind. But seeing it, I was like, oh. Here's some good Rainy Day albums. Yeah. All Eyes on Me, Tupacalypse Now, Me Against the World. Fleet Fox's first album, the one where Father John Misty was still in the band.
Starting point is 01:10:28 I forget the name of it. But that's a really good one. New Ancient Strings by Tamana Diabate. It's a chorus music. There's no lyrics, so it can really fade into the background. You can have yourself a think. You're combining
Starting point is 01:10:44 your first two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I think Fleet Foxes is self-titled Fleet Foxes. Damn. And then one more good. Joni Mitchell, Blue. That's another good. That'd be a good rainy day album.
Starting point is 01:10:58 I've been listening to Luther Vandross by myself a lot. What kind of mindset is that putting you in? It's weird, but I like it. Yeah. Because it started with that Never Too Much song, and then lot what kind of mindset is that putting you in it's weird but i like it yeah because it started with that never too much song yeah and then i just kind of let it keep playing and like i love it there's good music hidden in there you know i've been getting really into r&b lately i mean i bring it up a lot on this podcast but i'm like i'm like i'm as r&b as i am rap and that's the most that's yeah wow you. You've hit like a 50-50? Really?
Starting point is 01:11:27 And I'm doing weird stuff. New R&B? No, like Frankie Beverly and Maze and like all kinds of... I just go down the like related artists and just like I've been just... It's something about... I don't know. It makes me... R&B music makes me feel really hopeful.
Starting point is 01:11:42 I listen to a lot of R&B music too, but it's older stuff. No, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about like 80s, 70s stuff. Oh, no, I'm talking about like 90s. Oh, you're talking about New Jack Swing. Nah. You can't listen to rap all the time. As much as I love it.
Starting point is 01:11:57 You can't listen to anything all the time. Yeah, that's true, true, true. But like rap will get like, even though there's so many different kinds of it, it'll just like. That took me a long time to figure out Because for a long time I was like no that's what defines you You listen to rap and you skateboard
Starting point is 01:12:10 And if you get caught listening to Ray LaMontagne or something You're going to be slipping you're going to turn different But you just can't listen I mean it's still the only thing that hypes me up Me too No I can get hyped off of like We were talking about this Nights in White Satin Has been hyping me up lately The too. No, I can get hyped off of like, we were talking about this
Starting point is 01:12:25 Nights in White Satin has been hyping me up lately. The Klan song? Anything from the what? No. I never thought about it like that. And I love you. Oh, but I hate you.
Starting point is 01:12:41 It's all songs from skate. And I hate you. It's all songs from skate. And I hate Jews. It's all songs from skate videos. So if it's a mellow song that I've seen someone in a skate part, maybe that's what it is. Yeah, probably. No, I guess Nothing Compares
Starting point is 01:12:53 by Sinead O'Connor hypes me up too. That's wild. That ain't never been in a fucking skate song. Is that why you made an Instagram story of like two seconds
Starting point is 01:13:01 of that song the other day? Yeah, that and I think or no, that and that Kenny Loggins song that's been getting me hyped too. Heaven helps the man who finds his way. I got the lyrics wrong. I know I did. Just now? Yeah, I guarantee I did because I looked
Starting point is 01:13:16 them up and they were wrong. But I know you'll get right. Your second pick. Hell yeah. My second pick is going to be I like to clean specifically. Oh, I was going to take that. Yeah. That's a good one. Specifically my room.
Starting point is 01:13:27 I love that. It's because again, it's like you're not rushed. Right. So when I clean or nest or whatever you want to call it, but I get real flustered and I rush. So I'm sweating a lot when I do it.
Starting point is 01:13:41 But if it's, I get, because I just want to get shit done. Because mom's about to get home and you were supposed to do this three hours ago. No, I just think like, I'll be doing something. I'm like, well, fuck, I gotta do that. So I'll do this real quick. And then I'll be like, well, while I'm over here, I'm just going to do this. And then I forget about the thing I was doing, but like on a rainy day, I'm just like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:13:57 I'm just going to clean my room until it's done. And just, and it's just feels so good to lay back down after you've done it and you lay down and you're like, that was dope. You feel so at peace. Right before you got back to LA, I cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, this room we're in right now. I cleaned my room pretty good and then I put new sheets on my bed. Ooh, that's the jam right there.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Brand new linens. That feeling. Oh my God. You really can't beat that feeling and that's like it's free, man. It's Morgan free, man. You really can't beat that feeling. And that's like, it's free, man. You can just, it's Morgan free, man. You know what I mean? Yeah. You can just clean.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Lately I've been into, I clean a little bit every day. That's good. That's what you should be. What I'm loving now is like my house is base coat clean. My room gets, my room still gets there sometimes. Rooms I've always thought of as like, that's why I'm saying my room because that's what it gets dirty. I'm going to learn how to dust
Starting point is 01:14:45 that's my next move I don't really know I don't get it I don't know nobody me either I don't know I'd hire someone just you get the Swiffer thing we have it there is a duster I'll dust sometimes but when you start doing it when you like am I really gonna dust like clear out all the shit and it's just
Starting point is 01:15:02 that's also the lucky thing about where I'm at. I don't have that much shit yet still. I'm getting rid of shit. Although I got more. I got a lot since you've been. You haven't been yet. I gotta come. I'll make some air fryer wings. Cool but you do not tell people the address Sean. You don't tell. David's address? You don't fucking tell anybody.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Maybe if he treats me a little bit better in the next half hour so I won't. Maybe he'll treat you a lot worse. How about that? Oh, all right. Come on. All right, fine.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Are you guys going to fight now? I got room. I'm packing. There's going to be a shitload of gas left in the tank after I beat the fuck out of Shane. So I got time for you. You don't think I got a fist pack in my pocket. I might have to pack a lunch when I beat your ass. You're going to have to,
Starting point is 01:15:39 you're going to have to pack a fucking pick the lawn bag for that hospital stay. Bring your favorite jammies, bitch. No, I would not come at you with as much confidence. It would have to be a life or death situation. It's never going to happen. I know. Cleaning out my closet.
Starting point is 01:15:57 You sing that while you're cleaning? Well, I sing a lot of like, I guess that is why they call it windowpane. And then I just. Oh, yeah. Then you clean the window paint. Bird shit all over. Also, man, I have been getting some streaks when I'm trying to clean my insides. It's a skill.
Starting point is 01:16:11 I know. I'm getting better. But like, I gotta. Cleaning is like, it's been so long since I deep cleaned on the rag. Tight circles. I don't know if that's the key, but that's what I do. Elbow grease. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:22 I kind of do like a lot. But like hard. Yeah. But anyways. Elbow grease? Yeah. I kind of do like a lot. Like hard. Yeah. But anyways. I just look at it. I just stare at the mirror and then shit just goes away. I already took that. That was my second. That wasn't a pick. That was just something I do, bud. Yeah, cleaning my room. Getting all nice and tidy.
Starting point is 01:16:37 What kind of music do you like to blast while you clean? Melissa Etheridge? Dude, it is... I'm just going to look up my history. That's what pisses me off about Apple Music is you can't... It doesn't keep your history. Come over to Tidal, my friend. Yeah, I'm going to have to. Why doesn't it do that?
Starting point is 01:16:55 You can come to Spotify, too. Whatever you want to do. That's the simplest thing, though. Just keep a list of the songs that I've been listening to. When I go into search, it just says Nights in White Satin, Michael Damien, and Rock On. Those are the last three things I listened to. I love that you are into Apple Music because you just got it
Starting point is 01:17:11 like a month ago. I just love that you're using it. Before it was just YouTube all the time. Yeah, and downloading songs. I still buy a song every time I take a flight. Really? Until that superstition goes away. I don't listen to Taylor Swift. I don't listen to that one song anymore.
Starting point is 01:17:28 I broke my habit of that. Yeah. By purchasing a new song and now I listen to that. So on the flight here, it was that Kenny Loggins song, I'm Free. That's the one I bought. And I listened to it when we took off and landed. I like that. I love it. I think it's a wonderful
Starting point is 01:17:44 tradition. It's really weird though. Anyway, I don't know. Anything. Every tradition is weird. We light eight candles. Yeah. David, tell me your second and third picks. Who's we? I wish that I wasn't going to do this.
Starting point is 01:17:59 What? I have to take it. I live alone now. Yeah, of course. What? Oh. I live alone now. Yeah, of course. It's raining. Uh-huh. I got nowhere to be. Boom goes the dynamite, bud.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Yeah, I'm going to pound off. Oh, okay. Yeah. I feel like everybody does that a lot when they're alone. Also, and I don't know. I know we don't get too political on this show. Sure. But.
Starting point is 01:18:24 Wait a minute Sure Wait a minute Has anybody been noticing they've been jerking off more Since Trump's been in office I'm like I think I've kept it pretty steady I'm back in 9th grade Really you're skyrocketing I don't know
Starting point is 01:18:40 Every time The news makes me jerk off Just cause you're like fuck it I just I don't know. I like every time when I read the news makes me jerk off. Just cause you're like, fuck it. I just, I don't know. Who knows how much yourself? I need to control something because the news is so fucking great.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Also, I'm just like, I think maybe I think the older I get, the more I think I made fun of everybody for it for a long time but I do a lot of things that lead to maybe I have really bad anxiety yeah no yeah I saw a study recently I'm like so tense
Starting point is 01:19:14 all the time have you ever felt my shoulders it's like I've never relaxed yeah dude I could start crying at any moment because I'm so stressed all the time about anything but it's like not even but like I'm not it's like my life isn't that I'm because I'm so stressed all the time about anything. But it's like not even, but like I'm not, it's like my life isn't that, I'm just, I'm anxiety in men displays
Starting point is 01:19:30 itself in different ways. And for whatever reason, the the textbook examples of anxiety were the ones that were tied to like women, you know, like is how they experienced it. And so for the longest time, men have thought they didn't have anxiety because they, you have thought they didn't have anxiety
Starting point is 01:19:45 because they didn't have what was traditionally thought of as anxiety. I'm going to butcher the study, but it exhibits itself in other ways, like anger and stuff like that. Or you're just tight all the time. Yeah. Sometimes I'll be, man, sometimes i'll be doing something that doesn't require it i just love that i know that this is gonna end up and then i go beat off well yeah but like i'll be like my fist will just be clenched yeah or like if i'm or i've even noticed this if
Starting point is 01:20:17 i'm like watching something that tense on tv i'll realize like my jaw is tight like it's just like my back tenses up a lot. Yeah, I got it. I don't know, man. For a guy who seems pretty chill, I'm realizing I'm not that chill.
Starting point is 01:20:30 So people always say about me too. Like all these people, except for people that are extremely close to me, they're always like, Oh, you're no, you're really easy going. And I'm like,
Starting point is 01:20:38 I'm glad it seems that way, but I am very much not. Yeah. That's like, yeah, that's how I feel. In my head, it's like, bro, I play in here. It's high stakes.
Starting point is 01:20:50 My brain, the way it thinks, I'm playing for fucking keeps. Here you go. I just filter everything out to be like, yeah, man, I don't fucking care. I don't really even know if I told you. I kind of told Ian, but that whole trip, the whole tour we were on, I probably checked the city that we were going to 60, 70 times because I thought we were going the wrong way until we got there. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:09 That's so stupid. But it's just like, I would, that's just one thing that I was like, well, if cause everything else was going so great, I'm like, well,
Starting point is 01:21:16 I gotta be nervous about something. Yeah. It was that. And we were soon to be seeing signs. And I'm like, this is a wall street journal article. It says anxiety looks different in men. Instead of coming across as nervousness or worry,
Starting point is 01:21:28 anxiety in men often appears as anger. Huge dick. Huge dick. Anger, muscle aches, or alcohol use, leading many men to go undiagnosed. This is by Andrea Peterson in the Wall Street Journal. Came out July 30th. Yeah, when a man explodes in anger over something seemingly insignificant, may appear like just a jerk but he could be anxious so yeah i thought that was a
Starting point is 01:21:51 given uh i don't know i must have been real anxious last night dude i'm always real anxious i also noticed it because now that i live alone it takes me forever to leave the house like i gotta start leaving the house like an hour before I leave. Oh, yeah. Like, and just like, I need to have time to just sit there and not do it. It's fucking weird. It goes in stages. I do that. Going to bed is like that for me where I'm like,
Starting point is 01:22:16 I can't just go. I can, but rarely do I just go in the bathroom and do everything. I'll go floss and then chill for a minute. You drink off in the bath. Oh, sorry. I'm not the one that said he pounds off into the toilet when they're in a hotel. You psycho. That was you, right? Come on, man.
Starting point is 01:22:27 Don't make me feel bad. We're having a really nice open conversation. I don't know. It's kind of fun though. It's like, what? You got a target? Yeah. I've never done it.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Yeah. What are you doing? Into the sheets and sleep on them like a monster? No, I, yeah, no. Probably like old underwear or something. I think we covered all this. Anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:44 Anyway. Yeah. That's not the this anyway what are you guys thinking about that I've never I don't know why you guys think this is a jerking off thing it's like I don't know I'm learning about myself guys it's raining you're stuck inside you might as well yeah dude and also living by yourself
Starting point is 01:23:02 you can do it anywhere you want it's pretty wild. It was the first week. Now it's like- You can be standing on your stairs, one leg on one step, another on another. You can have the door wide open. You can be Donald Ducking it in your guest bedroom that has no furniture. Like an animal.
Starting point is 01:23:19 Like a strange, locked up animal. You could use the couch if you wanted to and not use your hands, if you know what I mean. Oh, what? What? Like put like a... No, no, I know what you mean. And again, still, again with the door open, gate unlocked, you can do all this.
Starting point is 01:23:39 You live alone, dude. I mean, okay, man. You can kill people. And your third pick? Yeah, sorry. That your third pick? Yeah. Sorry. That's all right. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:48 We can talk about Pananophor. No. No. I think they got it. Meditation. Therapy if you can afford it. Exercise is a wonderful
Starting point is 01:23:59 panacea. Pananophor is another one. Panacea. I don't know. Yeah. Or just sit there with your fidget clasps and your jaw tight like a monster. Yeah. And just go sit and wait for someone to one panacea. I don't know. Yeah. Or just sit there with your fidget class and your jaw tight, like a monster.
Starting point is 01:24:07 And just go sit and wait for someone to honk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. Just fucking, just, just have your shoulders tensed for all of your thirties and thirties.
Starting point is 01:24:16 Try to look like you're furious all the time. That'll call me down. Try to look like you're furious all the time. Furious styles. My next one is uh i like to do a wiki deep dive oh i love that oh what a great pick i love a wiki deep shit i forgot about the internet i'll start on one thing and then i'll look up like all the reference points any clickable link yeah and then i'm and then i got like 10 valentine's day massacre and then every i'm like
Starting point is 01:24:43 well i'm clicking on every name for me it's so many things that other people probably learned in school. I just wasn't paying attention or whatever. Yeah. So like all kinds of shit. All kinds of shit. I'm finding out about the CeeLo camp today. Or just like weird shit. Like I didn't know anything about the Kennedys or anything.
Starting point is 01:25:01 You know what I mean? The iron lung. You know, you read up on the iron lung. You're like, no shit. Right. Where are onions from? Where did they first grow onions? Michael Landon had mommy issues.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Who knew? I did. I do. Prussia. What the fuck was Prussia? Yeah. Why do they identify as Persian? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:19 It's older on. Yeah. Yeah. It is fun. I'm really into that. I spaced the internet on this whole list well except for binging shit i guess but that's more tv his last two are heavy internet ones yeah yeah and i'm not even i i'm an imagination guy oh i don't know really yeah because at the quantity
Starting point is 01:25:36 at the quantity that i do it i i don't need another vice i catch myself sometimes where i'm like just don't like do it without looking at a computer for a few days at least. Yeah. Yeah. And I, man, if we're going into it, I don't,
Starting point is 01:25:52 I think porn is probably pretty bad for you. Porn is, we were just talking about this. There was, because high school kids and I've been saying this for years. Kids. If you have the internet kids, I got my,
Starting point is 01:26:02 one of my young bulls, my young buddy, he was telling me he's like he's like 23 24 he's like i've looked at porn my whole life and he said like most like kids they because they're gonna think that's what's normal they think that's what sex is dude and it is not and that's crazy even the most down and dirty you know diapers on the floor amateur shit it's still not yeah that ain't what it is gonna be like no maybe maybe in your 20s or 30s but when you're losing your virginity in high school or
Starting point is 01:26:32 figuring that shit out that's not what it should be like it should be weird and poke i don't know you should like you should have to figure it out nobody's ever like yeah porn is so like funny power you know what i mean mean anyways I don't like porn I'm not a fan I don't really think it's good we all backslide but yeah I'm not into it that's actually what I'm into backsliding
Starting point is 01:26:55 backslide.com what was your pick wikideapdive when I used to work at uh netflix you i'd be stuck on the call center i'd be stuck on these like long ass calls uh-huh that i could honestly do with like a minute minuscule portion of my brain yeah and i'd be reading these like long wikipedia articles while they were like okay so i tried unplugging it and i'm like and it still doesn't work and And it's like, knowing it wasn't our
Starting point is 01:27:26 fault, but you have to stay on the line with these people who, your internet's out. It happens every now and then, you know. I just reset your router. I'll sit on hold and then you're like, tight. I can just read wiki for 10 minutes while the router's resetting. Have you ever gone to a wiki hole and then it's like an hour later and you're like, whoa. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:41 I missed a meeting. That's how you find out. I never missed a meeting because there weren't meetings. What they're going to do, like, keep answering those phones. They love doing those. A lot of call center history where they're like, all right, so here's the updates. You're like, so cool. So everything's exactly the same.
Starting point is 01:27:57 It's so funny we've all worked at call center. Yeah. We can talk. Plenty. Technically still work at one right now. Well, maybe. Who knows by the time this drops. Currently employed. You technically still work at one right now. Well, maybe. Who knows by the time this drops. I'm currently employed. Yeah, we'll see.
Starting point is 01:28:08 We'll see. They haven't given me one. It's just one backlash. They legally cannot because of a family medical leave act. Pretty wild, though, that you can do that. Good. Yeah, it is good. But yeah, anyway.
Starting point is 01:28:22 Shout out to liberal politicians who do good things for people. Yeah, man. but yeah anyway shout out to liberal politicians who do good things for people uh yeah man that's how i found out about like that bear that drank beer that served in like ukrainian army and all that shit yeah that's awesome uh yeah well we'll talk about it later yeah that's an off the mic can't can't reveal the secrets it was something like that i would look it up right now on my computer i have to use it just for the draft or it'll die. You can look it up on your phone, though, but my phone will also die. Sean, time for your third pick.
Starting point is 01:28:55 I don't always get to do this, but when I can, it's one of my favorite things to do, is to take a nice bath. I love... And this happens a lot going on the road. So when it's raining on the road... I'll take a bath on the road. On the road, I really try to get out of
Starting point is 01:29:12 the hotel and go at least be in the city. I don't treat it like I would if I'm at home, but if it's raining, I'll sit... I will bring in my computer and I'll set it on the toilet. I got a whole thing. I'll set it on the toilet and I'll take that bath for an hour and a half. I love it. Dude, bad weather on the toilet. I got a whole thing. I'll set it on the toilet and I'll take that bath for an hour and a half. I love it. Dude, bad weather on the road is so crazy
Starting point is 01:29:28 because it's even more isolated. Yeah, it really is. Especially if it's a city you've never been to. So like you're out there and it's bad weather and you're just like, you're just like, I'm just going to hunker down until the next show. But it also helps the show.
Starting point is 01:29:43 Like if it's shitty, as long as it's not like snowing, but if it's just like shitty and rainy, more people are going to come out to next show. But it also helps the show. If it's shitty, as long as it's not snowing, but if it's just shitty and rainy, more people are going to come out to the show. I always like it. I like bad weather on the road. I also kind of like it on the road when I didn't talk to anybody all day, so I come to the club wanting interaction.
Starting point is 01:29:58 You know what I mean? You don't know if your voice works when you get there and talk to a newer guy? That's the first time I said hi. Can I have a newer guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the first time I said hi. Until you're like, can I have a Michelob? The only speaking you've done that day is, no thank you! No thank you!
Starting point is 01:30:14 Housekeeping friends are coming. And then you laid over like, fucking God. I said like four times. Stop pounding off. Do you ever talk to yourself ever on the road? Like if you've been, if it is for real, one of those days when you're,
Starting point is 01:30:27 but like when you're in the hotel for literally all day and you have, you ever just been like, what, what are we? All right, let's get into it. Let's do something. And what are we doing tonight?
Starting point is 01:30:36 You know, just like walk around and talk to yourself. My talking to myself is a lot more negative than that. Oh really? I like stunt to myself and I shit on myself and that's audio like i'll be like man i can't touch me fucking that's not negative you'd be like no but then i'll also be like you fucking idiot why would you have done that joke like that any talking i do to myself is very weird yeah and it's usually only when i'm driving like sometimes i'll be if i'm
Starting point is 01:31:02 driving for a long time and i'll turn music off then i just get real weird that yeah i could have done that see that i can see that for sure i'll like repeat a word over and over again weather weather do you guys ever have conversations when nobody's around just conversations like oh god this is so weird i'll just like like if nobody's around i'll just be like yeah i don't know there were six clippers that day i don't know yeah that's the stuff i do yeah i'll just have weird conversations but they aren't i'm not it's not an actual it's not based in anything yeah it's just me saying where this episode is getting weird it's telling you dude it's 11 21 because we're the witching I would drive around there was one specific time I drove around saying I saw a sign that said coyote something and I just started pronouncing it coyote and I just kept doing that over and
Starting point is 01:31:55 over and over again see no I get that or like I do a lot of like like lately man this is so weird I'm growing into this yeah I do a lot of talking to the screen really and i didn't like you're watching something i didn't dude you know what's getting me hyped on the exercise bike i'm so sad that i finished it huh watching billions oh yeah dude watch it over i think i might watching that episode when he was, when he had to do all those favors to get that guy the gun, I was on my exercise bike just like, yeah, boy! Yes. Like, get that!
Starting point is 01:32:32 Take, like, that's how I'm like talking. I fucking love it. Like, yeah. You're getting your blood up. It's becoming, you're active. It's becoming an active experience because you're on the bike. It's weird, man. Shout out to that exercise bike, though.
Starting point is 01:32:42 God, that's a good episode. Taking a bath, man, huh? Taking a bath. I've taken so few baths in my life. Really? Yeah. You never caught the wave? I never.
Starting point is 01:32:51 Well, like, I mean, in my adult life, I've never really lived anywhere with a bathtub. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not until, like, earlier this year did I. It was probably the first time I took a bath in, like, 15 years. I haven't lived anywhere with a bathtub you would want to use. Here's some wild shit. I took,
Starting point is 01:33:08 I don't know if that made this public knowledge. I took baths like well into middle school before I started showering. Before showering was how I got ready for the day. I don't know why. Oh no, laugh. You should be laughing. That's just so crazy.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Before I would. So you know how wake, you wake up now, you're like, I'm going through the shower real quick. Every day, every morning, I would take a bath. Bouncy baby boy in the bathtub? Every single morning, I would be like, I had to get up like an hour early
Starting point is 01:33:35 because I took a bath every day. And then I went to seventh grade. Just like, what's up, y'all? I had sex. I got weed in my sock. I woke up with a bath today. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. I don't know
Starting point is 01:33:50 that that's ever been on any kind of public forum, but the bath boy, you've never told me that. It's not embarrassing, but it just never comes up. It's not embarrassing. It's just like one of those things. It's just, I slept in a crib for too long. I remember sleeping. It's not quite as weird as breastfeeding late.
Starting point is 01:34:06 But it'd be as weird as if you still drank milk a lot right now. Well, it's weird too because of the time. That's the thing. And kids don't like waking up early. You woke up an extra hour early. Because I would sit and I'd almost fall asleep in the bathtub. And my mom would wake me. Hey, 10 more minutes in the bath.
Starting point is 01:34:28 I'd have to get out and getting dressed. Also, here's another weird thing just on topic. I used to not dry off when I did start taking showers. I didn't dry off. I would just put my clothes on. Because nobody taught you? Wet? I would just put my clothes on and let them do the drying.
Starting point is 01:34:41 Oh. Yeah. So you'd show up to school like wet? Kind of. Wet look. Oh. Yeah. So you'd show up to school like wet? Kind of. Wet look. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:48 Dirty little broke looking kid showing up to school wet. Walking out into that South Dakota winter all wet. Damn. It was cold. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:57 Yeah. That didn't last a long time. Because you figured out how to shower. That was a couple months or something. But when I first started showering, I was like, I thought it was weird too. I thinking like this is stupid i'm in a
Starting point is 01:35:08 bathtub why am i not taking a bath you have 10 minutes left if i took a shower that's longer than two minutes before i turned 18 yeah yeah i my mom would have killed those were quick especially in the morning because we both like had you know what i I mean? I think it changed when I started skating because I was actually tired from doing, because then we'd skate for hours and hours after school and then I didn't want to get up early. Then I'd be like, well, I'm just going to take a quick shower. Then I started taking three showers a day
Starting point is 01:35:36 because I was always dirty. How long do your showers take now? I'm pretty quick. Five minutes. I'm about 10. Seven to 10 is what I... Because I always budget more time for the shower than I need. I don't know. If I'm having a rough one or something,
Starting point is 01:35:52 I don't know. I'll stand in there. You threw an interception to lose the big game. Well, then you do. Hand on the wall. Oh, yeah. That's when you blast the hoodie and the blowfish. That's when you take that Top Gun shower. Little crab. Take a nice bath.
Starting point is 01:36:07 Time for my third and fourth pick. I like how we thought this was going to be about an hour. This last round is going to go quick because your boy is fading. He's got to be up soon. With my third pick, I'm going to take reading a book.
Starting point is 01:36:23 God damn it. I was going to put that on there, but I knew you guys would give me shit because I haven't to take reading a book. God damn it. Yeah. I was going to put that on there, but I knew you guys would give me shit because I haven't read a book in forever. Also, yeah, you can't read. It would terrorize you. Yeah, that would have been awesome. In theory, that's a perfect rainy day activity. It's wonderful for it. I like doing quiet stuff when it's raining because I love hearing the rain.
Starting point is 01:36:39 Yeah. But I love like laying in a bed for like three hours, adjusting positions like 19 times and just tearing through a good fucking book. Yeah. I don't think I've ever read a book in one day in my whole life. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:52 I've listened to multiple books in a day. So that I remember the first time I listened to a book on tape in one day and I was like, so you. All right. And then it's not like they were speed reading. I just read the goddamn book. Just read it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:03 You can do it. Yeah. Yeah. Focus again for me is hard. I can only read for a few hours yeah a couple hours and then I can't sometimes my mind will wander
Starting point is 01:37:12 and then I have to go back and read the same sentence like 18 times yeah I've done that with whole pages where I'm like oh shit I'm at the end of the chapter
Starting point is 01:37:18 and I don't know what happened yeah you know what you don't do that with I also do that with TV too shit I was talking about how come lima beans got talked you try The Dirt by Motley Crue
Starting point is 01:37:27 that'll keep your attention we did have lima beans though I feel like they got a lot of play when we were younger as a gross food now you scarcely see them why did we think they were gross? edamame took their place you think everywhere?
Starting point is 01:37:43 at least here, in Oregon too that's all it is to me I just You think everywhere. You're right. Well, at least here. I mean, in Oregon too. It's all it is to me. I just think lima beans whenever I eat edamame. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Reading, reading a book on a rainy day.
Starting point is 01:37:51 Fucking love it. It's a fantastic pick. Of course that again, I knew the whole scenario. I was like, if I pick this, then the first question is going to be, when was the last time you read a book?
Starting point is 01:38:02 And here I am just saying it anyways. And I'd be like, I don't know when the last time I read a book. Yeah. What was the last time you read a book? And here I am just saying it anyways, and I'll be like, I don't know when the last time I read a book was. Yeah. When was the last time you read a book? I'm working on Stan Hope's book right now. Oh, okay. It was given to me, and I found it, and I was like, I should read one.
Starting point is 01:38:13 Oh, I listened to that on tape. Really? It's good. Yeah. And I'm going to read Guy Branum's book next, because I was cleaning up. Wonderful book. And I found that he gave us all a copy of his book. We did.
Starting point is 01:38:24 Dick moved to not read it, so of course I'm going to read that, and I will have. He gave all a copy of his book. Dick moved to not read it. So of course I'm going to read that and I will have, he gave you a copy of his book. I gave you one too. Were you not there? You might not have been there. I guess. Oh yeah. Well we have,
Starting point is 01:38:33 you're going to have one of ours. Yeah. Oh sick. Cool. He's so smart and funny. He's such a good writer. Such a good dancer too. Such a good dancer.
Starting point is 01:38:42 He loves to boogie on the disco ride. Yep. I love my life. He loves to boogie on the disco ride. Yep. I love him, I like him. I like the boogie. That's a good book right there. Blitz. It's in the bookcase. That's NFL Blitz, Ian.
Starting point is 01:38:54 Don't, quit trying to church it up. It's got Emmanuel in it. You actually learn a lot. I wish I could think of a football player named Emmanuel. It would have been perfect, but I couldn't. Emmanuel Sanders. Damn it. It's got Emmanuel Sanders in it. You can't a lot. I wish I could think of a football player named Emmanuel. It would have been perfect, but I couldn't. Emmanuel Sanders. Damn it. It's got Emmanuel Sanders in it.
Starting point is 01:39:07 You can't read that unless you're reading the defense. We keep going. I'm always reading the defense. I'm checking in. I'm checking out. It is an interesting book. It's about how the Nazis were all on drugs. It's in a macro sense about how they were all basically on meth pills.
Starting point is 01:39:21 And in a micro sense about howler was on this weird concoction of like painkillers and shit where like when he was there's one part in there where like he was supposed to make a big decision about d-day and how the armies were supposed to respond to it but they couldn't wake him up well because he was so out of it so he's yeah so the armies like they didn't get marching orders so like the armies just didn't respond so part of the reason d-day was so successful, cause he was zonked out on, you know,
Starting point is 01:39:47 group balls and shit. Thank God. That's crazy. You know where generals put their armies? Genitals? Well, do you know any genitals that have armies? Do you know where generals put their armies?
Starting point is 01:39:57 My shit got a crew with it. In their sleevies, David. It's in their sleevies. Ew. Where the generals put their armies. That's disgusting. And's in their sleevies. Ew. Where the generals put their armies. That's disgusting. And the genitals could probably put the army in there too in a sleeve.
Starting point is 01:40:10 I don't like it anymore. A body bag. Fourth pick. Fourth pick. I'm going to do my fourth pick now. I like Big Butts and I cannot lie. You guys remember that? Uh, I like, uh, big butts and I cannot lie.
Starting point is 01:40:24 You guys remember that? Uh, I like, and this might be, uh, just being a born and bred Oregonian. I like going outside and getting rained on. Of course. Yeah. Going out. I never liked, I love it. Like there were like certain days where I just be like, when you would be like kind of cooped up and I'd be like, I'm just going to go outside and get fucked.
Starting point is 01:40:44 Especially when it's coming down hard. You know that Northwest rain? Oh, yeah. I don't know if it got like this in Sioux Falls. I imagine it did. But just where it's like the rain drops are like heavy. They're coming in hard. It's been like that for days.
Starting point is 01:40:57 Yeah. You can hear it against like the door like like that. I would just love going out there and seeing like how wet I could get in like five minutes. Dude, we used to go, we'd put our swimsuits on and we'd go, because they have crazy thunderstorms.
Starting point is 01:41:10 So it's like 90 degrees. So it feels like it's like warm rain coming down. So you don't get cold at all. Not one bit. Yeah. So hot and warm that you just go out and you're just like,
Starting point is 01:41:20 this is dope. And also you're right outside of your house. So you don't need to, being wet's not a bummer because you can just come right in and be like, all right, cool. Now I'm going to not be wet anymore. So there's no socks to get wet.
Starting point is 01:41:29 Sometimes if it's the first rain in a while, you smell that petrichor smell. That's so good. Yeah. I love it, man. I'll go out there. Just kind of, yeah, let it hit me in the face a little bit. I used to, I think I had to walk home in the rain a lot as a kid.
Starting point is 01:41:40 And I just never. I had to as well. But I just like but for whatever reason it just would piss me it just pisses me off especially when it's like far or it'd be like squish I had to like walk home from football practice
Starting point is 01:41:55 with my bat and it's just like every step is like we're in football practice in the rain oh my god which is all way too exciting about it got it ding dongs over here doing splits in the corner they made us do this fucking thing in middle school called rain dogs where we like ran five yards then had to dive into the mud and then like the coach clearly made it up yeah that's not a thing yeah that's not like they weren't like doing that at fucking Oklahoma. You know what I mean? Like fucking what they were doing in Oklahoma was the most savage thing that you can have
Starting point is 01:42:30 two little boys do to each other. Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Man. Fucking foolish. Foolish. Uh, Sean, uh, time for your fourth pick. Get hammered.
Starting point is 01:42:46 It's 11.32. Get hammered. Yeah, I just like sit, sit, get drunk when it's raining out. It's fun. I guess that's why they call it window paint. That's definitely why they call it window paint. I mean, I don't want to say like, you know, get ridiculous like you're at a birthday party or something,
Starting point is 01:43:00 but yeah, just sit here and get drunk. It's fun. Not your birthday party. Like you're at anybody's birthday. I don't want to act like I'm at a stranger's birthday party or anything. I don't want to act like I'm at a, I'm not like you're at a christening, but like, okay, I'll tie one off. Just sitting here. Maybe I'm binging Mindhunter and I'm like, whoa, gosh, I haven't stood up in a while. What a fun little day I'm having. Sipping on a whiskey. And again, don't feel bad because it's raining out. Not like not raining stops me, but I'm having sipping on a whiskey and again don't feel bad because it's raining out not like not raining stops me
Starting point is 01:43:26 but I'm just saying you know it's just fun getting hammered on a rainy day getting hammered on a rainy day turning into a Tom Waits song yeah nothing
Starting point is 01:43:34 no deep dive required yeah just tying one on getting hammered on a rainy day yeah I enjoy it
Starting point is 01:43:44 David Borey time for your fourth and fifth picks. If you want to know more about us getting hammered, listen to any other episode. Yeah, it really comes up a lot. If you want a deep dive, go deep. If the amount of time we spent talking about that left you wanting, listen to any live episode and hear it happen in real time.
Starting point is 01:44:04 Yeah, it's raining. Every show we've ever done it's been raining outside David time for your fourth and final picks okay my fourth pick once again mine are so boring dude but
Starting point is 01:44:18 it's just like this happens a few times this last year in LA because we had a lot of rain this year. Yeah. Yeah, there was. We did. We needed it.
Starting point is 01:44:27 Yeah. And I'm like, I'm very busy about not doing much is how I describe my life. So I like have shit to do every day. You know what I mean? So I'm going out. I'm having meetings or I'm writing or I'm doing. Listen, I got my guys. About this time next year, you guys are going to be like, whoa,
Starting point is 01:44:48 the kid's been working. Maloy's been doing work or what? Don't do that to me. I mean, the kid's working. I got it set up to where I kind of keep it moving. So I like to, when it's's raining I just like to catch up on all the emails
Starting point is 01:45:08 oh do you ever have where you have to go in and restructure the mailbox yes you gotta delete shit and archive shit make new folders yeah like empty the promotions but I got 12,000
Starting point is 01:45:24 I have 26,000 emails in my box 12,000 of them are unanswered really? I have, I don't have that many I have, because it hasn't rained in a while I got 2,439 that's also that's over like, I have like my thing is connected to like 3 different emails
Starting point is 01:45:39 so in both so in my personal and the AFE total we have just over 500 so doing all right those are but still i'll i'm like fuck man i do catch it 40 a day for work alone no god i bet that's annoying yeah i haven't yeah the work email yeah i get a lot how many of them do you need how many of those emails do you need it sounds weird but i also get a lot from work yeah like a lot of just like a lot of it because like 16 if you have agents and managers they'll everybody emails you whenever something changes slightly oh yeah so it's just like i just have so many fucking chains of just
Starting point is 01:46:21 like you know what day am i gonna go do vo next week you know what i mean yeah like it's never anything that exciting but you know who else has them kelly jordan because another thing as of late that i've been having to do is just have her phone in my possession because she can't because she just need to stand like if someone calls i need to be able to answer for i mean and i'm not kidding every four minutes, she'll get an email from God knows what. Some pharmaceutical company. Anything. Credit control.
Starting point is 01:46:52 Anything you can think of that's spam. They go directly into her inbox and just stack up. Enough to where her phone doesn't hook up to Wi-Fi right now. Because she has so much shit on there. Her phone will not connect to Wi-Fi. What kind of phone is it? It's an iPhone. There was one time, I think I told you guys this, her Her phone will not connect to Wi-Fi. What kind of phone is it? It's an iPhone. There was one time, I think I told you guys this,
Starting point is 01:47:07 her phone wouldn't hook up to Wi-Fi. I took it into Verizon and she had like 2,000 web browser pages open. Whoa. Then the guy opens it, he's like, you see all these, like after a while that just stops working because it just can't, because it's just too busy. And I'm like, yeah, man,
Starting point is 01:47:24 I get that. Every link she clicked on, she never knew to like close or, it's can't. Because it's just too busy. And I'm like, yeah, man, I get that. Every link she clicked on, she never knew to like close. Or it's fucking wild. Yeah, anyway. Catching up on emails. I guess that's why they call a window pane. That's definitely why they call. Catching up on the emails.
Starting point is 01:47:37 Yeah. Hell yeah. It's a great rainy day thing to do. Yeah, I agree. And your final pick? My final pick, I can't do this one at the new house anymore and that bums me out. You couldn't beat off over there? Listen. You're getting
Starting point is 01:47:49 sick of that? Yeah, I approached it like an adult and I would like to be shown that respect. Sure. I didn't come at it as a kid. You didn't say jacking off. You said pounding off. I didn't say pulling my pudding. Pounding off. I said I have anxiety issues. And I pound off. And the rain
Starting point is 01:48:04 exacerbates them. It's like when it gets cold out and people's knees hurt. Yeah, I get back in the corner. I got to pound off my way out of it. Yeah, I got to pound my way out of it. Adult shit, bro. Pounding off. Pounding off. Pounding off. Anyways,
Starting point is 01:48:20 yeah, my old house, as you know, had a big giant front porch. Oh, yeah. And it was like, that street was like the runoff was kind of like when it was raining there, it would be a lot everywhere. So I just sit on the porch and just watch it rain. Yeah, yeah, of course. I love that. Sometimes smoke weed or whatever or like read or whatever. But just, yeah, just go out there and like, yeah, just be it's because it's like it's you get, you get to experience like the smell and everything, but not get cold, you know?
Starting point is 01:48:48 Yeah, I'm sure there's a psychological explanation behind this, but there's something wonderful about like, like being in shelter when the weather is inclement. Of course. Yeah. You know, you're being like feeling cozy and safe and being like. It's like that's a point of life. Yeah. That's what we did all this for. It's being in the cave, right?
Starting point is 01:49:03 Yeah. It's the whole, yeah. Yep. And it's the, it's the, you know. I mean, point of life. Yeah. That's what we did all this for. It's being in the cave, right? Yeah. It's the whole, yeah. Yep. And it's the, you know. I mean, I feel that. Yeah. I mean, I feel that. Dude, that was one of the best, man.
Starting point is 01:49:11 Crack the garage door open and just sit there and watch. That's like a Midwestern thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, crack the garage. Watch a thunderstorm. Chilling in the garage in general is like, we don't do that in California. Uh-oh. Like in Elizabeth, that's like a main like all day
Starting point is 01:49:26 just garage chilling yeah you're just in the garage open yeah like tinkering with stuff and like you know some people have like a radio out there yeah there's always a fridge with beers maybe people do do it here but it's like not an la thing i think people have like other people in like like uh long beach do it you know what i mean like it's like a suburban i got roots and i'm not like worried about climbing kind of thing right like i'm just trying to be comfy here yeah i mean i don't know i just also la what does anybody do who the people here are robots i have no idea what does anybody do i don't know what anybody fucking does out here i I don't fucking know. I can't get a grasp of this city.
Starting point is 01:50:08 I've been here five years. I work with a bunch of them. I don't know what anyone does. Oh, yeah, man. I tell jokes to them. I don't know what the fuck they're thinking. The city's confusing. If you're ever thinking about moving here, just know that.
Starting point is 01:50:18 The city is confusing. You're going to try to get a beat on it, but it's real hard. Yeah, it's fun sometimes, though. Did you read on LA? Yeah. Sorry, I had to use the bathroom. Sean peed out of his wiener. Sean peed Jordan.
Starting point is 01:50:32 And Sean last picked Jordan. This is okay. Do these all have to be stuff that we do in the house? I had run outside. Yeah. Okay. Rainy day. All right.
Starting point is 01:50:43 Go to a movie. Oh, that's a pretty good one. Yeah. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah. Because I noticed we've kept it all in the crib because I had a few that I went off campus for, but I still.
Starting point is 01:50:52 No, you go off campus. I prefer, I just like staying in the house. Yeah. That's your personal preference. I know. That could be, that could honestly just be one of the biggest. Yeah. But yeah, go into, just go to a movie.
Starting point is 01:51:01 Go in because I love movies. I love going to movies and I have not been doing it as much as I want to just because. I love movies. I love going to movies. And I have not been doing it as much as I want to. You should get stubs. That's what people are saying. It's like three a week. It's $24 a month. You can see three AMCs a week.
Starting point is 01:51:17 Like anything. So like IMAX, 3D, whatever. Yeah, that's good. So if I see two movies in a month, it pays for it yeah you can see three a week yeah you can see three a week oh yeah i'm saying which makes me see about one at least for the last month or so kind of forces me to see like one a week i'd go i'd go see like knives out or you know what i mean like something i normally wouldn't go see in the theaters that's the thing like i'm just like oh yeah fuck it i'll go see in theaters? Yeah. That's the thing. And just like, oh, yeah, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:51:46 I'll go see Hobbs and Shaw. I just seen Aquaman. Yeah. I saw The Lion King in between meetings the other day. That's amazing. I had a meeting. Then me and Fine Arts went and saw The Lion King. We had to leave a little early, but that's OK.
Starting point is 01:51:57 Because it kind of felt like Donald Glover ruined it. But then in the- He didn't make it better. He's not a great vocal actor. He's not. And then we went back. And then I went to another meeting. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:09 I just like going to movies, obviously. That's no secret. I like the whole ritual, but when it's raining, it's that much better. A popcorn. Are you getting, yeah, what are you getting? What's your... Tons of stuff. I mean, I'll get hot dogs.
Starting point is 01:52:20 I'll get Sour Patch Kids, Reese's Pieces, a Coke. I mean, I'm all over the place. Yeah't i don't like it as much as everybody else does yeah really popcorn and a soda i never drink soda but i will the movie yeah popcorn is so good i don't have popcorn at home ever either but like yeah i have it's just different having it at home you're like it just sits there you're like pretty fucking good it is you just don't like popcorn. Somebody got me some Jiffy Pop that I'm probably going to use at the crib soon.
Starting point is 01:52:50 Maybe next rainy day. Maybe, dog. Popcorn on a rainy day? Fuck yeah. Oh, damn. Yeah, go to a movie. All right, time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft.
Starting point is 01:52:59 Yay, yay. At 11.42. It's 11.42. The fog is rolling in. 11.40 who? I'm going to take taking a goddamn42. The fog is rolling in. 1140 who? I'm going to take taking a goddamn nap. Oh, yeah, baby.
Starting point is 01:53:10 Just a fucking rainy day nap. Spread it on. Were you like maybe didn't even intend to? Maybe you like get out of the shower. You get on your bed and like a towel
Starting point is 01:53:17 and like you hear that rain hit the window and you're just like oh, oh. Do you guys ever find that showers make you tired? Do you guys ever find that showers make you tired? I mean, that's going to be you in like 20 minutes.
Starting point is 01:53:33 That's going to be me in, if we finish this podcast in five minutes, that's going to be in five and a half minutes. I'm going to say goodbye to you. I'm going to close my door. Yeah. And I'm going to hear you get into your Uber later. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to go pee and then probably bail.
Starting point is 01:53:45 No, that's fantastic. I mean. Taking a shower for sure. Yeah. Because it's hot. You relax. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to go pee and then probably bail. No, that's fantastic. I mean, taking a shower for sure. Yeah. It's hot. You relax. Yeah. Your shoulders unclench a little bit. Yeah, I've been doing it after I hit the bike. Oh, it's the best. So then I got like those endorphins. Endorphins. Power Rangers. I like them. I just think
Starting point is 01:54:01 of Steve Endorph. Endorphments, dude. Endorphments. Yeah. Endorfments. Generous Endorfment. So it's been said that you're not supposed to take a shower before you go to sleep because it wakes you up. I disagree. I think if you take a nice hot shower take a nice hot shower before you go to sleep. You're clean. That's the best feeling. Getting into bed
Starting point is 01:54:20 when you're clean is fun. 100%. Dude, in between going back to football, during daily triples or whatever, daily doubles, how many you've broken out? Yeah, whatever you call it. Two a days. How's that working?
Starting point is 01:54:30 So you'd go before and after school to practice, huh? These were mostly during the summer season. For us, yeah, it was the two weeks before school started. Although some sports did go before and after, like winter sports and stuff. That's insane. We did it sometimes, yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:44 But yeah, we'd go practice four hours in the morning from like eight to noon. And then you would go home and like you'd take I would take a shower. Well, first we'd eat a bunch. You know, we'd like eat spaghetti or whatever. And like, then I'd take a shower and then like get into bed
Starting point is 01:54:58 right after the shower, after like four hours of working out that morning. And it was like the best sleep of all time. Man, you guys had so much more time. We would like eat lunch in the weight room really yeah we only had like an hour off oh we would like practice four hours in the morning and then come back at like six for two hours oh or something yeah we would do like four for two hours i think we would do like four in the morning and then like it'll be it'd be like slight it'd be like two two and a half it'd be like seven on seven and lineman drills or something yeah or like circuit training in the morning and then like it'll be it'd be like slight it'd be like two two and a half it'd be like seven on seven and lineman drills or something yeah or like circuit training in the
Starting point is 01:55:29 weight room or something the second it doesn't matter i've realized how not interesting no it matters yeah it doesn't matter remember that song oh gosh i remember saying that to people all the time when that song came out it doesn't't matter. Hey, Jeremy, do you like Fun Dip or do you like Pixie Stix? It doesn't matter what you like, jabroni. The only song I remember is, Back off, I'll take you on. Head strong, I'll take on anyone. They love God, right?
Starting point is 01:55:59 That was their thing? I think so, yeah. I suspect a lot of those. That was such a fucking shitty song dude oh god I feel the Grand Canyon with the songs I used to play anyway so that's the final pick
Starting point is 01:56:14 to recap David it's 1146 you went first you took grilled cheese and tomato soup hell yeah pounding off going on a Wikipedia deep dive catching up on all the emails and then sitting on the porch Potato soup. Hell yeah. Pounding off. Going on a Wikipedia deep dive. Catching up on all the emails. And then sitting on the porch.
Starting point is 01:56:30 Sean Jordan, you went second. You took binge watching a show. Cleaning your room. Like really cleaning it. Cleaning that shit. Taking a nice bath. Getting hammered. And then going to the movies.
Starting point is 01:56:40 Taking in a picture. That's a fun day. Going to see a talkie. Yeah. I went last and I took taking a good long hard look at yourself, listening to a whole album all the way through, reading, going outside and getting rained on for a little bit, and then the final
Starting point is 01:56:53 one is taking a big thick nap. Yep. Just letting the rain take you. We lost some good stuff on the board. That was my whole list. That was your whole list. I also had reading books on it. Watching an entire trilogy. list. That was the whole list. I also had reading books on it. Watching an entire trilogy? Yeah. We did that
Starting point is 01:57:10 with Star Wars before any of the new ones came out. Lord of the Rings. Do it on a rainy day. Yep. Playing a video game for like 14 hours. Tony Hawk was on here. Do a little slow cooker. A board game, but I don't do that a lot. But I like it. I want to. I'm just never... Getting a crew over and playing a board game sounds game, but I don't do that a lot, but I like it. I want to.
Starting point is 01:57:25 I'm just never... Like getting a crew over and playing a board game. Yeah. Sounds awesome, but I haven't done it in like 10 years. It depends on the game. Like Monopoly gets out of control. I want to be alone on a rainy day. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:36 Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was... I was thinking... I was going through like... Thanks for pounding off. How much do you really want? Because the thing about inviting someone over
Starting point is 01:57:43 is you can't be like, okay, I'm done with this part of my rainy day. I'd like you to leave. Now leave. They're there until they feel like leaving. Another Ivan Carmel story as I've been meeting them out on these podcasts as of late. This one was told to me by my mother
Starting point is 01:57:58 that like they would have dinner parties that were his impetus. Like we're having a dinner party i'm having some clients over or maybe some people from the office so sue carmel cook something up and they would have this dinner party and uh at some point he just decided he'd had enough and he'd go to bed what and there'd be people downstairs still and then he's up in bed that is that is crazy dude i didn't even know you could do that yeah that's like when little b dissed himself in the second verse of a song that he was on where you're like oh i didn't know there were more moves yeah to the game
Starting point is 01:58:38 bass god thank you bass god okay there's a skateboarder. I'm Miley Cyrus. Swag. I love you, Base God. You don't know Little B? I don't think so. Really? Interesting. We'll do a deep dive on one of these. Up the Murder Right song? It sounds like we have the same views. He has a curse.
Starting point is 01:59:00 Yeah, Little B curse. Curse the basketball teams all the time. He's a character boy. He sounds like a character. Yeah, they'll be cursed. Cursed as basketball teams all the time. Yeah. None of this is doing it. He's a character boy. He sounds like a character. He's got a couple of Vans on, but they look like he was the guy who made it out of that group, basically. Yeah, he was in the pack.
Starting point is 01:59:14 Yeah. No? All right. I'm sorry, boys. That's all worth it. I had to let you down just before David and I played the most dangerous game, but yeah. The most dangerous game.
Starting point is 01:59:24 What were we talking about right before that? Dinner parties where you can just dip out. You just go up and go to bed, man. That's crazy. I'll be honest. I've done it. I think I did it at the New Year's party we had here one time. Yeah, it's different.
Starting point is 01:59:38 Under the auspices that I was very drunk. I was pretty drunk, but I was not drunk enough to just disappear like that. It was a conscious move. I've done it here, too, where I'm like, I did it the night we all went out to eat, and you did it, and I was like, I'm doing that, too. I'm going in there, and I'm not coming back out. Sometimes you've got to wrap it up. I knew it.
Starting point is 01:59:57 Yeah. I knew it. It's a strong move. It's like, you know what? I want more than anything right now to be in bed, and I'll do it. The thing that was whack about it is he left my mom downstairs. Yeah, what did she have to do? I don't know why that marriage didn't work out.
Starting point is 02:00:13 I'm sure that wasn't the only thing going on, but like, you know. Oh, that's funny. She's like, these aren't even my friends. Yeah, exactly. What a wild thing. I don't know this guy. I'd love to know, Jake. You tell me. Why don't you go wake him up?
Starting point is 02:00:28 I leave Laura downstairs with like Smith and Rat and Dicks. She's like, well, I don't know. No one should ever be left alone with a crew consisting of a Smith, Rat, and Dick. Every Smith, Rat, and Dick is going to try to get in on this. Least of all, Laura. Yeah, I can't even imagine that.
Starting point is 02:00:47 That's hilarious. Well, heck, we want to hear yours as well. Send them on to us individually. And then also, of course, at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. If you want to send us an email, it's allfantasypodcast at gmail.com. That's electronic mail. That's electronic mail, baby. You know, Sean, he's got under 500,
Starting point is 02:01:05 and that's between the AFE and his personal. Don't email David and I. We're up in the thousands. It's wild. It is wild out here. I really got to... Mine's basically the walled city of Kowloon. There's Lawless in there. Shout out to everyone on the AFE
Starting point is 02:01:23 subreddit. We love you. Shout out majorly to everyone on the AFE subreddit We love you Shout out majorly to everyone on the AFE Patreon Thank you for holding us down Seriously it's crazy You make it possible for us to do this for real It crazy The biggest shout out of all of course to super producer Marissa Mars Mel
Starting point is 02:01:40 Yep the best Back from Toronto at this point Back from the one Toronto Back from Still very thick and. Back from the one Toronto. Back from... Corresponded today. Probably still very thick and playing that sort of beat VR game that she's like...
Starting point is 02:01:49 Yeah, she's into that. I've played that, by the way. And it is hard. Is it hard? I can tell it's hard. Yeah, it is gnarly. Her hand-eye coordination's off the charts, baby. You look like that.
Starting point is 02:02:00 If you did it enough, you could show up and do it not using VR, just at a club, and you'd look like you knew how to dance. I don't think so. I don't know if that's the case. A little bit. A little bit. It's all arms, isn't it?
Starting point is 02:02:10 I mean, you could move your hips while you're doing it if you want. You're listening to music while you do it. But wouldn't you really look like one of those goth guys who made you do those weird hand things? Yeah, I feel like that's what you would look like. I'm just coming as somebody who cannot dance at all, grasping at like any. I think that you're in your head too much about dancing.
Starting point is 02:02:27 Oh, we'll find out in a couple of weeks at High Plains then. Oh, I'm not going to dance over there. What? Yeah, of course I'm going to dance. I'm going to be on Molly or whatever the fuck happens in that fucking mutiny. We all know. We all know. We all know.
Starting point is 02:02:41 It's funny for a bookstore, all the nooks and crannies they can find. Yeah. Yeah. Where you can fucking kiss girls and do drugs. We all know. It's funny for a bookstore, all the nooks and crannies they can find in there. Yeah, where you can fucking kiss girls and do drugs. There's a reason I'm hitting the bike twice a day. Summarizing my entire experience at High Plains last year. I'm hoping to get behind the ones and twos, do a little cooking again this year. And not letting fucking Jonah Ray get up there and play
Starting point is 02:03:02 goddamn fucking... I'm going to play some mellow arcade fire. Come on, man. You DJ for the floor. Yeah, you got to give it to the people. Not even like amped up arcade fire, like mellow arcade fire. By the way, if Jonah somehow hears that,
Starting point is 02:03:17 you know we love you. We had this very conversation in person. Yeah, it was hilarious. Yeah, I want a mixtape from you. And it didn't stop me from dancing, I'll tell you what. No, no, no. You play nice and white. Set, it was hilarious. I want a mixtape from you. And it didn't stop me from dancing, I'll tell you what. You play nice and white. Sent me to the stacks. You know what they say, idle stacks do the devil's work.
Starting point is 02:03:34 You've had some fucking singers this episode, man. Yeah, I'm on my piece of cake. It's because I had a mediocre set, so I felt like I had to make up for it. I don't think you should feel bad about your comedy output for the night. You more than made up for it here. Oh, I had a really productive day, too.
Starting point is 02:03:49 All fantasy, everything. I've been thinking about murder this whole episode because I was watching Mindhunter all day. Mindhunter. Gruesome. God, it's the whole... Anyway, it's gnarly. Shout out to Marissa. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude.
Starting point is 02:04:04 Shout out to the six new self-checkout registers at Ralph's. They really did put them in there. They really did put them in there. Yeah, why not like fucking employ a person who can do it? Let's put some fucking robots in there, make your customers do all the work. They break all the time.
Starting point is 02:04:19 Then some dude has to come over anyway. Ends up taking longer than if I just would have gone through an aisle. Fuck you, Ralph. I don't know where he's at, man, but he heard it. I'll find him. Shout out to Kroger's, though. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to the cheap contact solution they got. Shout out to the grocery store workers trying to unionize
Starting point is 02:04:35 in Oregon and in California. Get it done. Bring them out. Unions are some of the most important things in the world. Shout out to Brandon Roy. And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy
Starting point is 02:04:54 Everything. Shacklackity. that was a hate gun podcast

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