All Fantasy Everything - Things to Say Before Putting Sunglasses On (w/ Laura Peek)

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

Part one of a whole series of sunglasses-themed episodes (unless we abandon it like we've done every time before).P.S. I can't stress to you enough how much the visual experience enhances this episode — do yourself a favor and go to our YouTube.Guest:Laura Peek (@laurapeeklive)Shop for exclusive AFE merch, old and new!https://trillblazin.netSupport the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast, the Fannieff, anything and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we are drafting things to say right after. Before. Right before. Things to say right before you put your sunglasses on. Our guest today. I got one. I blew it.

David did not bring sunglasses. I have my hood on to overcompensate. I'm going to pass you my sunglasses when it's your turn. They already know. They already know. They know what I look like. Don't mind? Our guest today.

Yeah, do it. Do I look like Romeo must die in this? No. Because of the. Don, do you not want us to bring that up? Now it is racial. Now it is racial. No, it is racial.

If you put on Isaac's jacket and be Asian, then you will look like you're in Romeo must die. You remember one, uh, you know, there's a lot of white guys in that movie, too. He doesn't look like the white guys in that movie right now. Why? How many Asian guys are in? It's the goddamn Asian mafia in that movie. Oh. There's a hella.

Isaac, were you the one with the race car jacket? You know what's a funny big? You know what's a funny big? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of saying why God, every time you say why God, you should just say quigon gin. Quigon! Quigon! Quigon!

That would be a lot of fun. Now you're taking your first pick. Come on, baby. Our guest today! Quigon, Jin, is my first pick. Why are you here to see Star Wars today? Quigon, Jen. Quigon.

They works. Do you think Quigon never met a Jamaican guy? Yes. Quigon. We're starting early. We're up early with this one. I think they did a premiere in Kingston. Quagon.

I think they field tested it. Before he was named something. different. It was initially called Wagwan Jin. Then they did the Kingston premiere and they were like, oh no, we got to, yeah, yeah. We got to switch this on. We got to change the quiet game. We're going to go see the quion game.

Funky quagun. The crying game has nothing to do with any of me. Quine game? The crying game. Yeah, no. He's like, no, I got it. No, I know the crying. I don't think you got.

Hold on. I don't think you did. it. Oh. I don't think you do know where I'm coming from. Ooh, that's the thing to say while you take your sunglasses off. I know.

You wanted to do that next time. Off feels so different than on. Yeah. It really is very distinct because I tried both. Yeah. It is very different. Off feels like, wait, we're doing off. We're doing on.

We're doing on. Right before you put them on. Off feels like the end of a, you know what I mean? Next time we need to draft. We could say on off. No, no. No. No.

Okay. No. Get your hand out of my. Hold on. Get your fucking head out of my face. I put them on. Yeah, what do you think? Your hands all clean now from the washboard, dude.

That's awesome, Todd. That was awesome. Your hands off. That was awesome. Did you put your shades on before he said it? Our guest today is All Fantasy Everything Hall of Fame or Lower at Peak. Peek, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak. told these boys, I texted you when I was on the road.

I've started to have, at every headlining show I do on the weekends, at the back of the room, there will be seven or eight people chanting Peek like that. Yeah, that's the best. You're selling me tickets. Let's keep, you're selling you tickets. It's so fun. Let's keep that. Let's keep that going. It's so fun. I know they're cool people. It's weird because that happens to me too. Aw. And then David always out of

all right. Oh, how I wish you would be. I say that I'm you on the road. Nittwitz. Get ready for Laura. Hey guys. Hey, it's me, David. It happens to me every time I'm taking a clandestine look out of my curtains. Peek. Peek.

Peek. Oh, I get it. What does clandestine mean? Kind of undercover. Kind of like hidden. Kind of a secret. Surreptitious. Surreptitious peat.

Ooh, these pancakes are surreptitious. You know what I really wanted to be able to work in this morning? I was really hoping I could say, Obfuscate. Oh, I've been saying that one a lot. I think you could. It's too late now, I told you. Obfuscate?

What do you think obfuscate means? It's one word? Yeah. That's the best. Good start. Really good stuff. That's the best way. It's that movie with Ron Livingston, right?

Where you confiscate some office goods. No, Ron Livingston and Jennifer Anderson's in it too. Uh-huh. Office skate. Office skate. Office skate. Office skate. Office skate.

Office skate. Office skate. Obfuscate. It's what you do when you. An oscillating fan on some roller skates when you shred on top of a computer. What does offiscape mean? Opfuscate?

I've always heard it as obfuscate. It is obfuscate. It is obfuscate. We're saying the same thing. Opus skate. I don't know. Offescape. I just tried to...

Offiscape. Go-go-Goshan. Offis skate. Go-go-go-Shan. Go-go-Gos-Hon. That's your anime. Go-Gos-Gon. Go-Goshan.

Gogian? Gogogian? It's also your gallery. Go-T-Gogian? Go-Gogian. Goggogian. Gogian. Gogogian.

Gagogian. Gagogian. Bagonia. Obfuscate is to sort of muddy the waters on a meaning a little bit. You're not like muddle something. Like what we just did with the term office gate. Yeah. Okay. Oh my God.

All right. It's a freescape. That's another episode right there. Things to say when you just pull them up. Pull them is different than take them off. They're all different. This is the first of three. Yeah.

There's take them off, put them on. Tip them down. High ho, high ho. Tip them down. Lift them up. Do you ever do this? Do you ever do this one? Before one of them is.

Look, look. Daim, bow, bow. Now, if you want to see what Dana did, you can watch us on YouTube as well. We're drafting things to say right before you put on your sunglasses. Hey, and remember, it's taken. Oh, yeah. What's that in? Paris Bueller's Day off.

Sorry, I was texting someone for cocaine later. Put those sunglasses on play. See a get some blow later. Later. Aviators really changes your whole vibe. It is, yeah. Huh? I think we're seeing what style of sunglasses we all wear, too, which is interesting.

Aviators really changes your whole vibe. Oh, yeah, I mean, that's pretty much all I got is. I know. I lost my last sunglasses here, and then they couldn't find them. Oh, that's crazy. So these are like some that were just, this is kind of like a collective pair from my house. Now, can the listeners be ready for two more hours? Yeah, Twardessor show rules.

Turn a show makes you feel smart Yeah, smart and sexy Right I left these You guys know the bar The drawing room Oh yeah Windowless bar

Open to 8 am It's an hourless bar It's a windowless bar Yeah And I left myself We were watching the Dodgers And I left my sunglasses in there And I was like

I'm in the neighborhood And it's fucking 9 a.m I'm about to go see if they have them There were like five regulars at the bar Like the most ancient looking dudes I've ever seen in my life And they're like I have a seat honey

Have a beer Come on in I just need my sunglasses. Well, well, well. Chas Palminteri shows up. Now you just can't leave. Looks like duck season started early in here. Oh my God.

Time to hunt, boy. They're throwing my sunglasses above my head. One of the only bars we went to, it freaked me out going in there. I was like, oh. It's scary in there. It's scary in there. If it's, you know, one in the morning, you're having fun. Yeah.

But I don't want to see those regulars. No. I see my future when I look at those people. A lot of fucking, like Charles Bukowski's with the literary talent, you know? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Which is really the easier way to Bukowski. The easiest way to Bukowski is just getting drunk. Now I just got to get a job at the post office.

Yeah. How do you Bukowx? That's what we're drafting. Sean Jordan is here. We're all wearing sunglasses now. It feels weird, huh? I love it. I love it.

You don't like it anymore? It's interesting. Is it like we're all cops, so now none of us are cops? Am I doing all cops? What are you like? Oh, thanks. Trying to do a little goopy thing here. Trying to do that.

Whoa. Huh? Yours are a little tight for it. I got a lot of hair. Is that one? A lot of hair. I will say Aviator suits your face and hair very well. Thank you.

You know what I mean? Tom Boos. I think it makes him look older than he is. You look like Tom Cruise and shit. You look young. Hey. Hey, you guys swap out. Let's see what happens.

Yeah. I'm scared. Aviator. We scream at the top of our long. These are lighter. You see what I'm saying? Oh, it ages him. And it makes, yes.

You see what? Yes, it makes it, yes, it does. It ages you and that makes you look younger. He's a leopard print, which is kind of dope. It's called tortoise show. Tortish. We've established. Are you all got in a leopard print shades?

Sir, this is the drawing room. Excuse me, sir. The wine's no longer free for you. This is a drawing group. I could use a little aging, though. You know what I mean? Yeah, you do look so young. It's gross.

It looks so young. Supple. I want to hear more people say that in earnest. I look severe. We all think we look so fucking old. He was like, God, I was young. We're trying to shave me for this. Oh, yeah, we're getting...

Oh, yeah, David's going to shave tomorrow and I'm going to shave my top lip, Lincoln style. Yo, really? He's going to slick his hair back, too. You're shaving everything? You're going full? I think I'm taking it all the way along. When was the last time you were nude on there?

I think we still had the towers with us. Which is why you haven't shaved since. Yeah. I mean the pouncy twins. Oh, gal. You know what? Now that's a day, David. Now that's a day, I'll never forget.

There we go. You are really saying picks now Yeah I didn't mean to It gets in there real quick That guy's saying pictures Sean Cougar Bell and Jordan I'm sweating

He's sweating He's out of his element Yeah I got nothing coming up Join the Patreon one Don't you come on You've already seen us In New Orleans Thanks for

Thanks for showing up I can't believe You're only there on Sunday I'm really mad at myself It really does suck It kind of does throw a wrench in the whole time Are you getting in on Sunday What are you doing the rest of the week?

I've not booked that travel Okay I'm in I've been St.P. Florida. It's going to be great. And there's no way you can fly in late Saturday night? I could try. I could try. Wouldn't that be fun? Is everybody staying through to Monday?

No. I fly on Sunday morning. Damn it. Okay. I'm literally missing. I leave Sunday night at 8. I leave Sunday night at... So Saturday I'm going to rip it open. I know. I'm bringing down those towers on Saturday. Let's just say we're getting the beard back.

We're getting the beard back to get. One final job. One job. We're getting the beard back together. It is really stupid. I'm going to miss you guys. Are you doing comedy in St. Petersburg? Yeah.

Laura Peacersburg? Yeah. A lot of people are saying? Is that near Kissimme? I don't know. Oh, Kiss me. I just said Kissing. I'm a Southern back.

Did I say it? No, I like it. It's not better. Kissing me. Kissing me. Kissing me. Kissing me. Kissing me.

Kissing me. Kissing me. Kissing me. Good for you. I thought it was Kissimmee. I think it's Kissimmee. Kissimmee is cute, though. I thought it was Kissimmee St. Cloud.

You got to be kissing me? Fun fact. Kissimmee Florida sponsors my favorite soccer team. You got to be kissing me. You got to? Yeah. Soca's out of Florida. I don't know.

What do you mean sponsors your favorite soccer team? So Brighton and Hovalbion are like the shirt is sponsored by like the Kissimmee tourism board. That's crazy. I don't want to get to the bottom of that, but that's dark money. So it's kind of a beach-to-beach interaction here because Brighton-Hove is beach. It is beach. Kiss me to Beach. Sister City.

So it's a beach. Sounds like my Friday night. It's a couple of beaches. Can I tell you something beach to beach? What are you guys laughing about? I said, can I tell you something beach to beach? Love to repeat a joke on a podcast. They heard it the first time.

Somebody's in their car just pissed. I just looked it up. It is Kissimmee. Damn! Damn, let's go, baby. Good for you, David. I had no idea. Now that I think about it, kissing me sounds very sure.

Unless you're pure of heart. Yeah. That's right. That's right. And you can say kiss to me. Okay, if you're pure of heart, you can say kiss to me. Oh, yeah, I knew I had read that. I still say kiss in me.

Sean has no dates, dude. Not that far forward. He doesn't plan his life. Go to the website. You know? So keep a website updated. So go to that. Yeah.

Sean's wearing no sock. Ankle socks or no socks? No, I don't wear no show-hams. I just go raw. You're going raw? Is it not stink to high heaven in there? Yeah. No, I don't sweat, dude.

That's crazy. Never happened. This is a little vulnerable to admit. I've had athletes' foot since I was about 12 years old. Steady on. You need to get some tough act into that. Oh, it's like mono. It's really hard to get rid of.

It really is very hard. And sometimes, I'll tell you this. Sometimes I like having it. We're like, it's something to do. It's something to do. It's disgusting. I really hate that they just. You get some baby powder and tough actin tenactin.

I think you'll get through it. Listen, I've tried. And it'll go away for like a couple weeks. You don't think she tried tenactin by now? It would be tight. The one thing. Wait, there's medicine for it? I've had it for 20 years.

Other people get it? I thought I invented athletes. I named it that. I just thought it was athletic. I haven't. Carson always says, you have the foot of an athlete. Itchy. You got to sue him.

Get a tough action tenacton. Class action. Class action. Class action. Class action. Class action. The jump yard dog. That's a lawyer, right?

Class action, Tenacton? There has to be. John Tenacton is class action, tenacton. What's weird is he got sued by Tenacton. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He won. He won. He won.

He won. He won. I'm wearing Brockafoot. I'm bringing class action to Nacton. Johnny Cockfoot? I was about to say that. better. There's Johnny Cockfoot.

What the hell's Johnny Cockfoot? What's he have to do with this? My husband's nickname. That's how you get athletes, but you spend a night with Johnny Cockfoot. Don't you worry about what Johnny Cockfoot's up to. Johnny Cockfoot will come whenever he wants. It won't be by the light of day. I'll tell you that.

Johnny Cockfoot is more scared of you than you are. Johnny Cockfoot comes in through the back door and leaves through the garage. All right? Johnny Cockfoot reverse Santa Clausus. He leaves up your chimney, then. I heard Johnny Cockfoot butt-fucked a dolphin Was that weird? I don't know.

It's so weird. Johnny Cockfoot sleeps in a bench freezer, but it's plugged in to stay in room temperature. I'm in pain. Dolphins poop? Yeah. You never think about that. They excrete.

I don't know where front. Yeah. Did they pee? I bet they have a cloaca. Fish pee and cooaca. Yeah. P and poop at the same time. You know what?

I said fish pee confidently. I don't know that. But I do know that dolphins aren't fish. Fish. Fish, they're mammals, right? They're more human than you. They're more human than you. They enjoy sex, right?

What? You do you hear of seeing. Do they have fun when they have sex? They do. Yeah, dolphin. I've seen some dogs. Anyway, no dates. Still no dates.

Crazy, but nothing. Nobody wants to hear me to talk about dolphin. Nobody wants this. Old dolphin dick Jordan over here. That's a bad day. That is a bad one. I'll take it. Do you know what they look like?

Dolphin penises, no They're all over the place You sound They look like Dahlseem's arm We put it up there God To the episode Just that

Please Just some tastefully shot And lit dolphin penis Siri Please show me some softly lit Tastefully photographed Dolphin penis Oh it's not that

This isn't disturbing at all Does it look like a guy? No. It's a man's penis on a dolphin. Between my penis and Sean's penis, where would you put it? Isaac's looking up Dan Marino's penis, though. Just me to say, just so everyone knows. Actually, in Domencunc's.

Look up Larry Zonka's. Larry Zonka's. He had two. That's a name for a penis. I've never heard that name in my life, but that's a nickname for a penis. Zonkers looked exactly like Larry Zonka. It was just a smaller one. It had a helmet.

His dick hosted American gladiators for a while. One ring. One bar. Oh. David Bore is here, his screen name. This cool guy jokes 87 on his screen. It's his screen name. It's crazy.

He's in my top eight. You can follow him on there. Any dates? No. Look out. I don't even know when this is coming in. Go to his website. I don't either.

April 9th. April 9th. April 9th. I'm getting surgery soon. What are you getting surgery? I'm getting that zonker. Getting that zonka. Get my Lari Zonka.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that done? I would rather it be the zonka. Is it from lifting? Did you get it from working out? I got it in like high school. Right. Those last a while.

It's like athletes, but. Okay. You're shoehorning athletes. And quite literally she's done this in the last five conversations. So you're getting married. You know, that's forever.

Like athletes. Oh my God. Sometimes the bacteria makes a vow. Now, Laura, I don't know if athlete's foot is like that. It is. You're telling that to a doctor. For some of us, it is. It just, it's hard to fix.

Yeah. And I have a lot of, here's my favorite word I'm about to drop on you guys, meaning, like, skin related. I have a lot of integumentary issues. Ooh. I have, I have, I have, I have skin stuff. Yeah. And so I think it's really, I'm really prone to it. Okay.

And yet you're so luminous and defiance of all that. That is true. I hike a lot. Yeah, that's got to be it. That's got a point coming through. What kind of fish do you have a tattoo of? I have a little fish of a blue gill and a rainbow trout. Oh.

They're the little fish that I used to fish for with my grandfather in Tennessee. I love that. I never noticed them before. And they're cute. And it is that I don't say this a lot. It's based on a David Foster Wall as to say. Get it. And I'm not allowed to say that because I'm a human being.

Yeah, that's the infinite jest. It's really tough. I can't. The last jest. It's the final jest. It's like athletes, but. The infinite test. What are we at the end of the tour?

Kind of an infinite pest. I'm not capable, so. I hate TV and love dancing. I'd like you to consider this lobster. Oh, have you considered putting a lobster? Have you considered getting a lobster? Have you considered getting a lobster tattoo? I'm in on it now, too.

Remember when Jason Siegel played him? Yeah. Yes, that was crazy. I didn't hate that movie. I didn't see it. I didn't hate it. I watched a lot of his interviews. Yeah, they were doing a lot of those.

Yeah. Jason Siegel, not David Foster Wallace. All of his interviews. I watch a lot of Jason Segal interviews. The bummer thing about David Foster Wallace's, like, reputation being affiliated with literary bros and everything. Yes. He is great. Oh, it's fabulous.

And I will say that we now know that he was, he's incredibly smart guy. He was abusive to women. Did I know that when I got a tattoo? No, he was a mean guy. To my knowledge, don't everyone yell at me. But his writing is unbelievable. And it's helped me through a lot of dark times. As a truly depressed person, it's helped me very much.

And I kind of wonder if people actually like horror movies. Did he do that? He talks about that. I've never read him question. I love horror movies. No, he talks about how he's like, it's this whole thing about how whether or not people actually like horror movies. Like being scared. Yeah, like are you being entertained or is it just like making you feel something?

Yeah, I'll take that on. It's a interview. Sometimes I think I just want to feel something. I love a horror movie. Wait, are we a horror movie fans? No, I don't like getting, I don't like getting scared. Damn. Me and Sean will do a solo draft. Yeah, I don't mind getting scared.

I don't like being scared. I get scared. The new screams coming out. It looks terrifying. Does it look terrifying? Does it actually look terrifying? No, it looks fun, right? I don't know if it scares me as an adult though or it just puts me like on age. Yeah, illities. I'm not sure how much I want to feel that way. The notebook is scarier than any horror movie.

Oh, my God. Because the she hits dementia and they die. Take those sunglasses. You're going to die. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. You're going to die. threw them back on. I just scarcely have time to go see movies

with the way I'm reading Lonesome Dove all the time. Oh my God. Wait, that was fully taking them off like truly as you're saying it, giving half the sentence to this. Well, I've been saying that very sentence a lot. What's the sentence ratio on to off in like a diatribe?

I think you want, I think you want the sentence started before. Now that one I started even before I reached for the sunglasses and took them off halfway through. Yeah. If I start right now, but I know I'm going to read it. for them and then I just keep going like this.

Yeah. Is it crazy to loop back and put them back on? No, I think that's great. I think that's a powerful thing. Need I remind you, we are drafting things you say before you put them on. Yes. Right?

And by the way, sneak I remind you is an excellent thing to say while you put your sunglasses. Also, I hate to add a third thing. We should also do points you explain with sunglasses. Yes. Oh my God.

That's a fourth thing. That's a fourth thing. Yeah. A fifth thing? That's a fifth thing. We've got a series on our hair. This is huge. I think Pete just wrote AFE season 10.

It's crazy that we're all never going to die. Is it last year? Sean? Hey, here's it. Okay, I'm going to say that. Let's get one thing straight. Let's just go one thing straight here, all right? You know what I've always wanted to do?

Oh. I'm sorry, Isaac. It's kind of chewing on the back of the sung. glass arm. Here's what you do. You chew. Contemplatively. Cross. The chew and cross. It's like he's picking out what kind of wood he wants for his built-in cabinet. That's vintage. That's 78 Streep.

Yeah. Yeah. Woods by streets? No, 78 Streep. Oh, Streep. Someone trying to figure out if it's a wasp or a bee nest. Oh. That was so bizarre. That was so bizarre for some reason. You guys don't just chew on it?

No, I don't know. Lauren, it's not a run, not really native to this area. Shit. Laura Peaks here. Oh, shit, right. I got, honey, I got dates. Hold on. This comes out April 19th.

You will have just seen me. April 9th. You will have just seen me on, wait. Comics unleashed? Nope. Comics leashed. Wait. April 9th.

Got it. On April 9th, I'm going to be leaving to go on a comedy cruise that I'm not sure I can talk about yet, but I'm very excited about that. They're doing a virgin voyages, Don't Tell Cruz. Wow.

And I'm going. I'm thrilled. Is Alec going? He was talking about that. Now we're just saying, a virgin people out. Virgin crews, I'm surprised they didn't invite Sean.

Hey, dude, I ain't no virgin. They're going to check my hymen before I get on board. Okay, sorry. Richard Branson's going to check my heart All right, good to go that All right, probably have to cover Every bit of this Check it with my tongue

Oh I'm not going on a cruise At all And then on the 23rd through the 25th I'm going to be in Alpharetta Atlanta The new helium there

And then on the 26 I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio At the attic Alpharetta is a kind of pasta Is that right? Yes Yeah It's kinky

It's a kinky pasta. I've been to the attic. Yeah, the attic rules. High ceiling. Oh, damn, we hate a high ceiling. Where's the attic? It's in Columbus, Ohio. Ohio?

Ohio. And then I'll be at Zany, Chicago, the 30th, the April 30th through May 2nd. Go to Zanis instead of the very beginning of April and then I'll be there for Passover. Oh, really? Yeah, switch it up. Also, $5.5.5. Not peek on a leash.com. Oh.

Damn, I gotta buy that. You gotta buy that. If you can't get calm, get the biz. I've always said that. That's just wisdom. That's just that business advice. That's what the fit. You're gonna get that added in a speech bubble

from one of the fish. That's Harvard School of Business Day 1. You can't get calm. Get biz. Get biz, baby. Get biz, baby. I got to go inside the lamb food. Yeah, it's lair peak.comedy.

That is so cool. I would love to secure of the domain peak on a leash. Feeling like a peak on a leash. Give us the scat. Da-boom, da-da-peak-k-na-h-h-h-h-ha-h-ha. Yeah. I thought it would be great. Crazy that you're good at that.

Da-boom-da-peak-na-hina-hina. Fucking demonic. Can somebody, can some of our listeners isolate the nah-inah-hina? Yeah. Send me that. Just for some stuff. I was actually used all parts of the Buffalo. You remember the dance he was doing where he was like,

da-b-b-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. He was freaking out. I haven't known what you were talking about for ten minutes. Oh, my God. Talking about my wedding vows. And he's like, boy. That the young, Nakh, Nakh, boy! Right?

Yeah. It just like runs it back. He goes nuts. Can the homepage of my new website just be a gift of you guys doing that together? I would love it. All right. I'd be honored. Stop in things.

Stop part of me. God. It's a good song. It's a good song. I used to rock to it. Yeah. I was well in the corn, bro. Corn more than limp.

For me. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I don't love Limpin. I know you're, I was a little more, I was a little more living in Beaverton. You know? Neither. You loved Limp Biscuit, dude. I did not. You love Limpisket.

I hate that song. David texted me last night and he said, I only like the Urban Assault Vehicle Remix, and that's because I'm parcel to Hummers. David texted me last night. He said, don't bring this up on the pod tomorrow. And I need to tell someone and I know I can trust you. And he said, A, I love Limbiscuit. And I was like, I think there's more.

I think there's something you're not telling me. And he was like, okay, there is. You know how my favorite rap lyric is Eminem saying, guess that's why they call it Window Pane. He said, I have a new favorite rap lyric. And it's Eminem saying, you know, Chris Christofferson. Well, I'm pissed Pistofferson. I don't even know what song that's wrong.

Yeah, sure. All right. Sing the rest of it. Well, you sing the rest. It's not my favorite lyric. Not my favorite lyric. Did you say Nahina Hina Hina? I thought so.

I bet he does. It sounds. I mean, it's grunts. I think the grunts. You sound like a hungry gremlin. Yeah, like he's got a little something stuck in his throat. You're right? Yeah.

Also, I would have been more open to that band if they were called the hungry gremlin. Yeah, way more. He still wore Adidas. He looks like a hungry Grimmon, Jonathan Davis. Yeah. Utilatil and Adidas. That's what.

He'd wear Utilicilt. Isaac, do you think you can get some of those Jonathan Davis from corn fits off? I have no idea what you're talking about. He was so, he was so proud to say that. I have no fucking idea what you're talking.

The lady doth protest too much. I think you know who corn are. I think you got a mood board at home. I know who corn is. Brother, you know who corn is. You know who corn be. Corn is a band. In this house, we love Jesus.

We say our prayers. And we know who corn is. I know who corn are. And I know who I'm. We believe that no human is illegal. That Jonathan Davis is the greatest scorer of all time. Garza and I used to talk about that how you can't end a sentence with I'm. And I don't know the rule about it.

Do you even know who I'm? End it with a contraction? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, because you can do it. I can't. Yeah, I wouldn't. But you can't do. I'm?

Yeah. Do you know who I'm? Do you know who I'm? Do you think Vell? Wait, what? Do you think Vell? You also can't Vell. Oh.

No, I think I think he'll. I think he'll. It's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder what the deal with that it's. No, it didn't work. It didn't work. It was cooking up there.

I wonder what the deal with that it is. I'm the poetry degree over there. Can't get enough of me. I'm growing up. I'm Ian Carmel. I mean Carmel across platforms. You deliver every time, Sean. Sign up for our Patreon.

We love you. I told Ian this recently. I'm a paying card carry-in member of your Patreon. She's a card-carian member of the Patreon. That's crazy. Yeah. Just fuck me up. I'll give them to you for the world.

Literally I texted you guys because I got really sad and I was thinking about our chewing gum episode and I was like, I want to hear that. And so I bought it. And then I told Ian and he goes, don't fucking pay for the Patreon. I mean, don't say it like that. Okay, I mean, not you guys. I didn't say it like that. It's great that the rest of you fucking pay for it.

That's fantastic. Thank you for you. And this includes everyone listening. If you're ever on an episode on the Patreon, we will give it to you. Yeah. Dude, I think I might have another Yerba. You're going to do double Yerbas? That's a lot of caffeine.

You're going to do a Thabomate? Here's what? Here's how I would. Here's how I always say in my head. Yeah, but might. Yeah, my mate Is he a yibemite A yovamite sandwich

Hey, red Please She made me a Yover Mite Sandwin He has laughed and handed me a Yuba mite Sand A Yubbermite sandwich I said You know what's weird

My little brother just ironically found that song Ironically or ironically Ironically? Ironically Like just like weird Internet Yeah

young guy shit. And then I tried to relate to him the other day. I was listening to it in the gym. I was like, blasting at the gym. Yeah. And he was like, it hurts when they forget their own bits.

Yes. When young guys forget their own bits, thank you. But that's a good song, that's how it's how fucking goes. It's so fun. He did a lot of solo stuff where he'd cover those songs acoustically and they're really good. Who? Colin Hay,

the singer, man at work? Oh, he would just do those songs. I think he said Colin Hanks. And I was like, I'm in. You're like a man from Brussels.

Man from Brussels No, because he goes I'm full of muscles I said do you speak of my language Damn, that's satisfying Do you wear your shades up here Do you ever do that for real? Yeah

No, I have sex Huh? You said only during sex? I said no, I have sex What about during sex? Oh, I thought you said only during sex Only move your lower body, keep your head still If I'm wearing

If I'm going to have sex I'm keeping them down Yeah I wear them down here. I hang them from the ears. That's the word. You know what I do? Do I like smile?

I do this all the time. I sell underage kid weeds in the parking lot. That's how I have sex. I sell them weeds. If you put the sunglasses on the back of your head, which is what we're doing, it will keep predators from attacking you from behind. That's so true. That's so true.

We're drafting things to say. Oh, no. I don't like it. Right before you put your sunglasses on. Mine are upside down, y'all. Just for the listeners there. The way we're determine the order of that draft is a, rollicking game of rock papers.

This is like doing the three of you. Freaking me out. The girl on shoot. All right. It's all wrong. Scissors paper, rock, shoot. Oh, shit. I forgot to do it.

I did everything backwards. And I was confused. Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly. You look like the island of Dr. Moreau. I'm fucked up, dude. He is really drunk right now. I'm all fucked up. All right.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, no. Oh, cats. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, no. David wins. Unnatural as hell. Big winnings.

Cizvers against two rocks. She goes unnatural as hell. More hell and a Dr. More shit. Just someone with fake boobs. What's up? Those unnatural as hell right there? Those are unnatural as hell? Sick, but unnatural as hell.

Sick, sick there. Sick there. A higher. Amid from Errada to Redonde Beach. A hot to a fire. I was living in top. What did you drop your phone? I don't care.

Made yourself giggle, I'll tell you that. It made it be snorted from his little nose. Were you laughing so much from the word Ohio? I was, honestly. Yeah, it's got to be it. I was living in Topanga, Kali. I took Sepulveda and it didn't give me to Ohio, so I didn't take point. Was she named after the canyon?

I think so. Topanga? Yeah. She must have been. I've never thought about it. Haven't either. I took Kahanga to Sapolvada to Pizma. I was up on Mulholland and I got lost side of getting another car.

The first thing I did one off. Yeah, it looks like Glenn Powell. Oh my God, he did look like, did you see that video where it was like somebody that was doing a movie with Glenn Powell? She goes, he beat her at something and she goes, you capy barrel looking motherfucker. He does like a capy bearer. She was hot. She's awesome. I can't remember.

He's a handsome capy bearer. He is, the hot guy. But it is, I mean, the comparison is undeniable. Yeah, no, that lady went crazy. Is my bitch. His mad bitch. I feel like I can't really lean into the way. You're in there.

If you get on, if you get on Sepulver, it'll take you. all the way down to Redondo through Pismos. I moved from Ohio. I flew into the Ontario airport. You got to shake. That makes it. I flew into the Ontario airport. Straight from Ohio.

Do you hear it with your shoulders too? I flew in your arms. Wait, hold on. Do it. Go hold of yourself. When I moved here from Ohio, I flew straight into the Ontario airport. It's making you horny, obviously. I'm on a condo and redondo

Redondo I meant him in a condo and Rolando He's a smile In a condo and rotundo David basically Coming upon you to determine the order today's draft

Before you do that We'll remind you as a serpentine draft And what is that? That's a great question It's how the Greek alphabet was written I believe the word is Bous Boustoneephiden

Yeah, that's not Let's just assume I'm right, huh? Yeah, I've never wished I could do that Russian dance more. Damn near. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Once parrida, you attack.

Once parried, you attacked me at the exact same maneuver. Perry again, then. Totally. My good math. Totally. I saw Amadeus this weekend. R.N.P. Matthew. Sure did.

You said you were going to wear a hat so I could hit it off your hair. You didn't, dude. Betrayal. I got one over there. Betrayal and Redondo. Ian Carmel's new forthcoming novel. Betrayal and Redondo. Betrayal and Redondo.

Basically, David, what it means, if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first. in the second round, much like someone who went to Torrance High School. You know what I did. I do. Without mind, what will the order of today's draft bear? Peak David Sean Ian. Peak David Sean Ian. Hot Corner. Am I also Hot Corner? Is it work like that? That's right. Yes. Hot Corner then. Hot Corner then. Hot corner.

Unto the end. Out corner. Loak warm middle. Wet middle? What do we call moist middle? Moist middle? Yeah. Maybe a moist middle. Yeah. Why do you hate condensation? That's yuck.

I don't like it. You live in Oregon. Think about a turkey sandwich that you put in Saran Wrap. The Saran Wrap isn't all the way around it. And so it gets all, and then it gets all, there's drops on it. Those airplane sandwich, those airport sandwiches that are soggy bottoms. Those are dry. I love them.

They have drops of dry ass sandwiches. No, the draps are wet as hell. No, no, no, no. The wraps, they get soaked on the bottom. But they're wet and dry at the same time. That's why it's so disturbing. Yeah. The meat is really dry.

The bread gets wet. Evened it out, then I wouldn't be, I just, I don't like wet food, but I love hot We're never going to figure it out. You're like a massive sauce guy. Massive sauce guy. Massive soft guy, Rob. It's mental, bro. Get the fuck.

He's a massive sauce guy, mate. He's a massive sauce guy. Trying to lay off. Fucking I. I want it swimming. Swimming, mate. I don't even want to know it's a burrito. A bowl of burrito soup.

Bola hot sauce and as a barrio in it With that you are pushing the accent allowance You are pushing the accent allowance granted us by colonialism He's right on the point I got a barrio What are you doing? I can't tell anymore

I lost it I lost the bread Have it a good time With my friends Pete David, Sean Ian is the order of the draft We are drafting things to say As you put on sunglasses Laura Peek has a first pick

And we're going to get to that first pick right after. This short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babel. Ola, Yo's Soi Ian Carmel. Now, you may have noticed that I was just speaking Spanish, a language different from the one I normally use on the podcast. And that's because I've been practicing Spanish with Babel. Now, if you've ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of learning a Nueva language,

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Leave that whole thing in, dude. See if we get sued for us singing Baby Elephant Walk. Also, what is that? You never heard that? So young. Waiting song. Yeah. What's it from?

It's from like a game show, right? Probably, yeah. I think it's from like a 60s game show. Yeah. That was awesome. Do do. You like that. The patrons chose this topic, by the way.

Thank you for that. Oh, hell yeah. That's great. Thank you for the patrons. You know I'm a really good beatboxer. I know that you're a pretty good beatboxer. I'm a really good beatbox. I'm a really good.

Can you sing him beatbox at the same time? Love that. Like all my favorite stand-up bits? Yeah. I'm shay. I got my favorite cover. Yeah. That's when it gets.

Unleashed. And I'll tell you this. I have never once beatboxed on stage. And I'm a pretty good beatboxer. That is a level of restraint. Yeah. That's pretty good. If you can really do it, if you can really do it, damn.

Because a lot of guys, you can't do it. I know. I'm going to say, I've seen plenty of people that can't. I'm not even going to do it right now. Wow. That's crazy. I do believe that. This could be the ultimate ruse because you're not doing it.

Hey, go to the bathroom, send me a voice note. I will. All right. Just you taking a dump. I'll do it in the next place. I'll do it. You can get him to listen to it. It sounds like Ian's taking a shit.

There's not a lot of ways where you could straight up get me. He said me. He said he thought that was called beatboxing. My mom said it's beatboxing. That's what she called me. Alada, you got to listen to this. Doesn't it sound like he's taking a dump? He's beatboxing this.

He's a magician. He can do this corpulch noise. How does he do? the Karpunk's noise. It sounds like he's in the bathroom. It sounds like another person walked in on him because he didn't lock the door. And he's singing Michael Blamele over.

Yeah. So I'm also singing if your girl only knew. Oh my God. I can hear this kiss in the background. Ha ha! Unsignable. Meatboxable.

This piss. How did he do the confidence? Do you hear that? Did you hear that? Had it, yeah. You can piss me in the moonlight. Okay, this is a stretch. But Carson knew that the last thing that we had, or like,

yeah, the parody songs. Yeah. Then we had drafted that. Do you guys know, this is a very deeply online phrase, but have you heard the kids say gesture gooning? No. I heard you laugh to chew. I've heard jester maxing.

Juster maxing. Juster gooting, I think, is when you do it to like an, like an even more insane degree. It's what they call jerking off, but it's like, you're being so funny. Yeah. And Carson the other day he comes up to me and he was like, hey, when you go on stage or tonight, you should say, at night, I just do it. That's awesome. That's really recent.

What time you say, Carson, actually, you're going to go on stage tonight. What's long as that a parody? Last night, I dream of you. Oh. I want to be your lady, baby. If you being far in them. Are we not still doing with a piece? and poop

The Target bathroom In a Target bathroom Yeah Target's probably My most pooped store Oh you think Yeah I worked at a Target

Yeah you worked at a Target Yeah Not just my vibes I also actually did I pooped the most In the best vibe By the same reasoning Yeah same

I'll go anywhere Yeah we don't I've never had a job And I'll shit anywhere You're in a hotel room floor Yeah, you're a filthy little poop whore. Have you, how'd you hear about? You're a filthy little dukey whore.

Oh my God. Adam, Denver, Adam, Adam Neuro. Shout out, he was telling me people on Reddit are a little mad at me for snot-rocking it on these four. A little mad. It was insane. They were three separate threads. I did it at my own house the other day. Oh, you child lives there.

Why are you doing this? Just being honest. Don't. It's like, lie to me. No, I'll keep me in the honest. That's great. Lott of me. Johnny Lang, huh?

Bruce Horns me, dude. We doing anything? I'm just going to have more Topochico. Laura Peek, and it's time for your first pick, the first pick up the draft. Things to say before you put sunglasses on. My first one I'm excited about. Here we go. Get a lock in.

Yeah, I saw your text. Oh! Oh, man. I, I, oh, I felt. that. I got caught up yesterday. We were all out to lunch. I got caught up in a seeing someone before I returned to their weeks old tech situation. Is that what happened? Is that what happened? The conversation so long conversation. She rules. She's awesome. But you also do have to hold that conversation long enough to know that it's like, I could have texted you. Yeah. I didn't. And I

love talking to you. Yes. I mean nothing by it. I saw it and I forgot about it. This happens to me every day of my life. I remember the name of your partner. Yes. Yes. And I'll tell you, you were Peter Name a lot in conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm locked into you, Rebecca. Yeah. I'm locked in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So now, Laura, is that Carson that likes candy? That likes candy. That's a big chicken salad guy, I remember. Carson had asthma as a child but got over and around 17 and 18. That's exactly what happened to him. What's wrong with you? That's actually true. Sorry I didn't text you back.

I would never leave you on that. It is tough when you try to explain to someone because you're basically saying I didn't, I didn't give you that four seconds. But, okay, here's, we were not, everybody says this, but it is true. We were not meant to be as reachable as we are. I do not, I cannot respond to everything that people are saying. Yeah, me either.

It is a burden. Do I prioritize people? Yes. Of course, I do. I'm a human being. Yeah. If my husband texts me, I'm texting back. If it's family, yes, it's my closest friends.

Other people, you might wait a day or two, and I apologize. Which is absolutely fine. I think it's fine. Sometimes I don't get back to Sean right away, because it's like, because I don't like them very much. Yes. And I think he's stupid and ugly. And I'm like, hey, answer me. Where are we going to fight?

Where are we fighting? Stop ducking me. I find him ridiculous. I want my Jordan's back. Charlie. I don't like the way he smells. I don't like the way he dresses. Just sending you dickpicks.

Reply. Reply. They're only going to get bigger. They're only going to get bigger. They're only going to get bigger. They? I'm going to hold the phone closer each time. Is this a funny pubicator?

He said your picture of David's dick. He says your picture of David's dick. He responds right away. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, sir? Yes. David, what are you doing with Sean's phone?

Is he around? I don't like him. I don't like him. Make sure he's not near you. I'm just bad at texting back. I mean, you get it, you driving, whatever. You're with the kid. Yeah.

Texting also overwhelms me very quickly. Totally. Because sometimes it'll be like 20 and then you're like, I don't even know where to come in to come back. And like a group thread. Yeah. I hate a group text. I just looked out on my phone. I have, from a conversation I was having in a group text as I rolled up to the studio,

I have 167 sex. What are we supposed to do? You can't even, and it's not good. It's like, it's McDonald's. It's not good re-eated. Yes, I have to be in it. That's so true. You have to have it at the time.

You're going back laughing face emoji, laughing face emoji. That's what I mean. It's never funny that way. Eight voice notes back to back. I'm like losing the thread. I do not send any of us. The girls are voice noting. No.

Really? Yeah, it's crazy. I always thought that was only for sexting. All of that. Great for sexing. Yeah. And be boxed. Ian?

This is the last time I'm going to say it? That's poop and pee. You're thinking of pissing and shitting. You're thinking of pissing and shitting. Well, I am good at that. Do you remember all the songs? Can you guys excuse me for a second? I need to beepbox.

Hey, do you have a public beatbox room around here? It's kind of an emergency. I'm trying to lay out a track. Yeah, I got a. I got a whole album in there. I had a lot of milk yesterday. I wanted you to go Rosel on your bathroom. If your girl only knew.

Oh my God. Yeah, I saw your text. They're voice noting? I can't. I can't. I was against it for a really long time. And then I realized, because I thought I was wasting other people's time. Yeah.

But then once you accept that we're all doing that to each other, you're like, all right, I'll pop my AirPods in and listen for, you know, a few minutes to what they have to say. Would you rather do that than read? No. No. Never. But sometimes I want to hear my. My friend, like Amy Miller sends me voice text like you wouldn't believe.

And sometimes I want to hear my friend's voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She talks like this. She does, indeed. Yeah. And I was thinking. Sorry, Amy. She's going to hear that.

You've been doing fanalyze one of my best friends. Yeah, I saw your text. That's great. David Bory. Time for you to put this on glasses on. Big time. Oh, yeah. Classic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time. Love it. Hey, you going out tonight? Big time. It's so fun. Mine was mean and yours was so fun. I say big time a lot.

Yeah. Big time's great. David, did you file your quarterly taxes? Big time. But then you got a prolonged looking at them. So it starts here. Yeah. Yeah, you're already really good at acting this out.

Because it's a little bit, it's almost erotic because you're like granting permission of the eyes and then taking it away. No, no, no, no, no. Now you see me. Don't funk with my. Now you don't, too, starring Jesse Eisenberg. Now you see me. I felt that climbing out of me.

That was such a fun thing. It was really fun to watch your progression on that one. Oh, my God. Do you think you could talk yourself into doing a new laugh if you like exert it, If you, like, made it an intentional thing for, like, a couple weeks. No, I've tried. Do you think it would become your new laugh?

I've tried. Your laugh is so joyous. Not in my head. Oh, really? To me, it doesn't sound as... I understand that people love it. I love the laugh, yeah. To me, it does not sound amazing.

Oh, I feel like I break about it. It sounds like, uh, shrill. Oh, it's so... Like a cartoon Joker laugh. No, it's got, like, heavy bass to it. Yeah. That's not... I'm saying in my head.

that's crazy. I think my voice, everything sounds a lot higher in my head. Oh. Maybe I don't know if it's like a breath thing or something like that. But like even I, like if I see myself in something, or like I see a clip or something, I'm like, man, my voice is a lot deeper than it sounds to me. You have a very deep way. It doesn't sound deep to me at all.

Oh, that's weird. We do sound very different to ourselves than we do. But yeah, we're going to. I was thinking about that because I'm getting to the point where I heard my own laugh at a comedy show the other night. And I was like, your cigarettes are coming into play. Things are beginning to take hold. But that's also kind of awesome. Yeah.

It is. I listen to this every week. This is a crazy omission. I don't think my voice would have gone the length that it went to Raspi if I hadn't started smoking cigs and weed young. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it helped me ultimately.

And I like that. Stay tuned for more Royal Crackers Season 2. That's a show I was on years ago. That's right. Yeah. It was good. I liked it. Sean Jordan,

time for your first sunglasses. Looks like we're going to have to fly right through it. Oh. That's straight out of the aviators. Yes, baby. Very good. That's what I would do if I was a ball to wall as pilot. Do these have to be actual words or can they?

No, I don't think so. You can do sounds and feel like. You're two Yerba Mata's deep. I think it can just be healing. I'm fucking tweak it. Oh boy. Troy Walker drank two Celsius. Well, he drank one and a half Celsius yesterday.

Those Celsius are supposed to go straight to the dough. They send you to the... I found out friends of mine. A lot of sober friends of mine are drinking like three Celsius a day. That shit is scary to me. Let's go back. Maybe just crack another Johnny Walker.

Do a bump and have a beer. The first Celsius I had was on the Golden Globes last year where we've been drinking coffee all day and I was like, I need something stronger to push through the day. And I drank a Celsius. And then, like, my brain stopped working. My brain was like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, it doesn't even help me. You were going down the stairs and the door closed.

And it just was not, I couldn't, like, ideate for the rest of the day. I think it really, it does not help me think at all. It makes my body go, you're going to start sweating. Yeah. And you're going to move around. You're going to have sort of an impending sense of doom. There better be a fucking alligator chasing. Yeah.

It's kind of cool to exercise, though. Do you do it when you exercise? Sometimes. Oh, yes. If I go, like, too early in the morning. Although this morning I had this weird green tea thing, and then I didn't work out, so my guts. Makes me feel weird, man.

It makes me feel all lighthead. Like you said, I just got, I'm antsy. I can't focus, really. Too many coffees. If I have three coffees, forget about it. I know. What makes me feel like if I looked around a corner, I was going to be confronted with every bad decision I've ever made.

Do you not feel like that anyways? Yeah. They're all standing there. That's just how I feel. Yeah, I'm just haunted. That's how I feel all of the time. Yeah, I don't at all. I feel like I really got one over on the world.

Yeah. And they'll never catch me. That's awesome. And me and David were like, aren't you just thinking in a horrible way all the time? You're like, not really. I'm like, oh, shit, okay. Oh, shit.

Yeah, we don't have inner monologue. Ever since that, I've really tried to focus on my inner monologue? Don't. It's not there. Doesn't happen. God bless you. It just sounds like, it's like,

bum, boom, boom, boom, boom, so sick. No, man. I think you're not that way. I have such horrors in my mind. Racing horrible thoughts. I was thinking the other day, like, I'm always lightly afraid I'm going to get hit by a car.

Well, I'm coming after. I am coming after you. Like, I'm kind of afraid a car's going to drive in here and hit me right now. Well, like, that's the level of, they'd have to hit us all, brother. I'm just always afraid of everything. That car is going to hit me first, brother. It's going to come through us. No, it's not.

If the car comes in over here. It's literally going to kill me first. That car is going to hit you first, brother. And then it's going to back up and be like, oh, no. We'll be fine, brother. Yeah, we'll be all right, brother. We'll carry on your legacy. Sean, I'll be just fine, bro.

We'll go to Hot Springs and eat shrimp. Man, have you been to Glen Island? No. I'm missing out. We got to get a whole... Tell Carson gets the candy. This is my narrative for your life. Carson's the candy. Carson's the candy. Carson eats candy all the time, right?

He's not a candy man. Candy man, tell him the truth. When I'm saying we're going to have to fly right through it, I'm talking about a buffet. That's where I put the shades on. We're going to have to fly right through it. We got a lot of top goals. to be at. How's your fly-ziety going? It's getting better because

the more flights I have to just not you know, not have any booze. Yeah. And it's getting easier. Wait, the booze hurts you in the sky. Help tremendously. Oh, okay. I was like, how is that possible? That's not sustainable. She has to lay to go right up on stage. I mean, oh, okay, I see. And just in general, I don't want, I've, a couple months

ago I tried to decide like that can't be a crutch, like not even one, you know? I just don't want to do it. No, no, it just didn't, yes, yes for that, but in general, I just want to try to get rid of it just because it, I mean, it costs money, it's whatever, it's a whole thing. Yeah, hurts my mental health constantly.

So I'm focusing, it's getting better. And you might get hit by a car. And a car might drive right through this wall. Well, you might, you're by the wall. You might get hit by a car. I don't want to play this anymore. That's the parking lot over there. I don't want to do this anymore.

I described my anxiety. I always feel like, my anxiety makes me feel like at any given moment, everyone in the world is going to find out something about me that I don't even know about myself. I wish you didn't say that. I don't like this at all. You guys are gifting each other new fears.

This sucks. Pretty soon we'll be scared to hang out with each other. It's kind of an OCD thing where you're like, have I done something horrible that I don't even know about? I think everything's going to unravel in any given moment. All the good of my life and relationships. It's just going to like fall apart. Have you guys thought about laying on the couch reading a lonesome dove and listening to jazz?

Wait. Do you think if we switched couches, we would be as mentally healthy as them? Whoa, let's try. I got a great. I don't know if mentally healthy is the... You guys want to try? Sometimes I think that my anxiety is like a leviathan swimming around under six inches of ice

that I'm standing on confidently and at some point it will give way. Okay, kind of sounds like you're fucked up. Yeah, you're going to get hit by a car. But his inner monologue is saying that. Wait, wait, wait. No, I'm not. Oh.

It might be a couch thing. No, I'm not. This couch is making me crazy. Wait, you're saying pigs. Oh, shit. I weirdly... Yours is leather and ours is fabric. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Cool, but at what cost? At what cost? Put it on my tombstone. Chill as hell, but at what cost? Yeah. Emphasima. Time for my first, Beck.

I've got a few here. Oh, good. I'm only going to do one. I might come out with a fifth round. pick in the first round. Oh, that's doing. Yeah, what? All right, here we go.

Just keep in mind, this is a fifth round pick, but I'm do it in the first round. Don't do that to yourself. I'm doing it. Oh, I'm not a cop, but these are rollerblades. Whoa. I think that is a first round pick. Okay, all right, thank you.

Dighead. These are rollerblades. Oh, I'm not a cop, but these are rollerblades. You know what's scary about you on blades is you're seven feet tall. Yeah, yeah. They do have several inches. Yeah. That's a scary guy. I'd like dunk if you have roller blades on.

I could, but I would have no need to. I'm already on rollerblades. Why, like, why the cake has enough frosting on? Yeah, how much more pussy can you get? Yeah. I've already drowned it. For the rest of us. The nice thing about the rollerblades is it gets you so much pussy, but you're able to get away from it in time.

You're so swift. You're avoiding me. I'm married. I'm married. I'm married. I can still climb stairs. I'm imagining gigantic vaginas flying at you through the Yeah, they can fly Big winged vagina The labia Big winked Winket

Winket Isaac Isaac You probably know this But Freud You've seen something like that Freud postulates The Medusa myth

Has to do with castration Is that right? I've not heard that Oh turn into like Stone Boner They think he thinks pubic hair Look like snakes and the first time you see when you're a child a vagina as a boy.

Right. It's like it's castration because you're like, oh, I didn't know that there could be a, you know, like a hole there where usually there's a penis. And then somehow the Medusa, which is a. Did you see it as a whole? Amazing. Did you know it was a hole the first time? You didn't know it was inside the lobby. You just knew there was a glass door.

But it looked a little bit like a penis had been lopped off. I suppose Brother, I've seen so many you think I remember the first Take a fix! I've seen so many you think I remember this. Did I bring that up yesterday when we were drafting mythical creatures because I was reading about it? No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Saying that and then being like, have I been talking about this? Have I been talking about Freud's Medusil? Hey, Ian, you've been bringing this up too much. You get a voice memo from me later? Yeah. It's the poop and pee and then that. It's pooping him saying this over shit. Hey, you guys know about it?

So it's like a hole where a dick should be. Anyway, pubicare snakes. Bye. Bye. I love you guys. Freud was on a lot of cocaine. Yeah, a lot of great ideas. Yeah, all these dudes really, really yacked out of their mind.

Cocaine's really pushed us far ahead. Totally. As far as it's pushed us back Cocaine can walk It's a big dog It's like Peek on a leash Peek on a leash

The peakness Cocaine's like the Kool-Aid man Where it bursts through walls Sometimes it's awkward And sometimes it's like Oh look at this new world It's shown us Yeah and it's really easy to do too much by yourself

Yeah yeah Coalette and cocaine Sorry I don't have Kool-Lade earlier No, I'm not going to have a self right now. But imagine a scenario where someone says, oh, I'm not a cop, but these are rollerblades. And they put sunglasses on, and then rollerblade away real fast and cool? I love it.

And cool. I haven't seen very many people rollerblade fast, I think, if I really think about the numbers. I've seen some people fly on there. I believe it. I just don't, I think it's like a lot more of like a... Yeah. Like they're doing the little Kim. Well, that person just got on rollerblades.

You need to see like a seasoned thoroughbred. I don't think you see those that much anymore. Well, no, because they're moving. so fast. You can't even see them. Yeah. I think there's a there's like the boardwalk speed that I'm thinking of you know. Yeah. Somebody on Venice Beach. I'm like it's not as fast as I want it

to be even in that case. You know what I mean? They want to be seen. I did see somebody out there They're showing off their high cut bodies. They're going to have no humility. They have no sense of true self. Look at my nipple placement, you know? You're like I get it. They're all look at my nipple placement. You were born that way. Let's be nice.

Look at my ideal nipple placement. Show off. Sorry, that skateboarder's nipples. I just stop, but my shit's too low. I'm low. Yeah, they don't match. My nipples are visibly different heights. My nipples don't see eye to eye.

That's fine. Looks like one of my nipples is in a K-hole. One of my is MAGA. Oh, good stuff. One of my tits being maga. It's so funny. Far right? It's far right.

I'm on the far right and the far left. My temples are like James Carville and Mary Matt. Madeline? What was her name? I can't remember. The raging Cajun? The Raging Cajun. He's buried to a Republican.

Really? Yeah. Hey, do you guys remember the Cajun McChicken or did I dream that? No, that shit was good. Okay. With the mayonnaise? Yeah. I still love a McChicken.

And I love how much fucking mayonnaise they put on those. Me too. It's like the defying trade. Yeah. And it's slug. as hell, but it's like, yeah, their mannings is like really sweet. Give me more. Is the Cajun McChicken not there anymore? I don't think so. It is the ideal

is the ideal non-beef fast food sandwich. I think it's been gone for years. No. The long McChicken from Burger King. That one's good too. Or the long chicken same. But I like the Cajun. I was like the McChicken from McDonald's. Yeah, sorry. Sorry everyone. My brand included. The Wendy's Krisby Chicken Sandwiches.

Love them. Do they have a, do they have a Cajun? Yeah, they have a hot one or whatever. Do you guys ever get the BK Bigfish? Yes. No. Yes. Yes. It's fucking great.

It's top tier. It's really good. But I love a McFish. The fish filet is great. I love it. The Filet is great. I love it. I think they need to keep it

ideologically the same and call it the McFish. If you're going to have a brand stick to it. I know it's disgusting. I have a... I know it sounds like ass. The Irish fish. I have a filet fish bucket hat somewhere.

You do. Yeah. Somewhere. It's somewhere. That would be tight. Put me out and just give me a tattoo somewhere. James Corden is also a big filet of fish guy. And we taught when I was on air, we talked about it on the show.

And McDonald sent us a big, big little, big, like, care package with like, like a hundred free filet fish coupons and two bucket hats. I love it. Damn, I thought you got that from Dana's sister. No. Because she's the one who got me the cheeseburger snuggy. She works at McDonald's. Shut out, by the way. She's like.

A snuggy? She's burger. She's the McDonald's merch plug. I have a Palace McDonald's T-shirt. I would brock some McDonald's March. God bless. Yeah. Shut to hal.

She just had a baby. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Yeah. Well, then let's go kick. Fuck. Hold on.

Starting over. Isaac, don't. Don't know, no, no, no, no, no. But do give me three words of encouragement. Do your best. Thank you. All right. We're all like, callous assholes over here.

How'd you do that so quick? Not bad encouraging, but okay, here we go. I was like, that was not good. Really, you separated yourself from the situation. Will you give me a five second count in? I was going to do that anyway. All right, great. Here we go.

In five, four, three, two, one. Well, then let's go get kicked out of sea world. We can get that done tonight. You're going to need your shoes because of all the water. I love the well. The only logical thing. It's like we're standing in the parking lot. How do we, what do we do we, you know, and then like, somebody has a plan and everyone's

against it at first. Everyone's like, no, we can't do that. And then eventually we all come around to it. We have to. And then it's like, well, let's go get kicked out of SeaWorld. We have to. I think we all have. Otherwise, this wedding's not going to happen.

David has to go butt-fuck this dolphin. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's correct. Mary, ma'am. Was that a pre-on-air bit? I don't know if they've seen you say that. I think it was pre-on-air. I don't know, we said cloaca.

Did Cloaca make it? I think Louaica made it in. Isaac's to go where that. Yep. Unfortunately, it all made it. There's nothing sadder than having to ask the producer which one of your bits made it onto a podcast. Did Cloaca make it to her?

Just like laying in bed texting Isaac like, Hey man, was that butt-fucked dolphin thing too far? Do I say that a lot? Oh, yeah, because we're talking about Damarino's penis. Yeah, oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, the Zonkathon. Yeah, the Zonkathon. Zonky Kong.

You were saying, I'm imagine. Damn me that your penis. Wow. Tell me that's your penis. Okay. You're saying... Yeah. The well, let's go get kicked out of sea world.

I imagined all of us sneaking a bunch of filet of fish in our trunks. Yeah. We got to load it up with McDonald's. We need the corka to taste a filet of fish. Yeah. I mean, you missed the last episode, but I don't want fish near my genitals. It's just a thing I know. I think that's a good policy to have.

It's just a thing about me. I just don't love it, you know? What we said in the last episode? It was that shark the jackass. Oh, right, right, right. In his belt. No, no, smelting's belt. Smelting his belt.

Smelting his belt. Smelting's belt. We, yeah, so we go in to see where old men, I don't know, you know, whatever. Whatever the scenario is. In fact, it's better if we don't. You imagine what it is. Sean? Well, I guess it's a good thing she married me then.

Oh! Whoa! You too. Smooth, smooth, smooth. Are you talking to that? I'm talking to a few people. I'm talking to a couple guys. I'm talking to a couple guys.

Some improv guys? No. I wouldn't do them that dirty. Okay, all right. What's the motorcycle guy she dated before? No, this isn't even about her. She was with one of the rough riders. She was a motorcycle ex?

No, well, yes. She was with GMX. That's honestly not even who I'm talking about. In this scenario, it's like I'm talking to a guy. So you're not you and Laura's not your wife? I'm just kind of thinking about in life. I've wanted to say that so many times because it did turn out to be a good thing.

You know? It could have been such a bad thing the way I operated for so long. You know? So it just makes me feel nice that like that's worked out. You know, I think I'm worried to be married to. That's not, the way you're describing

is not how it came off. I will tell you that. Yeah, I wanted to come off like a dick at it. In my mind. It came off as like, hey, he's done something hilariously bad and you're like, and he's talking shit to you. Feels like now you're like doing the sort of a,

like, VH1 storytellers. and you just play Welcome to the Jungle and you're like, it's about nature conservation. It does feel a bit like that. I mean, he's pointed with his sunglasses. I'm four drafts ahead. Yeah.

He's playing 70 chess, dude. That's one I can't do. Yeah, just the... That's one chess I can't do. That's one style of chess that I don't know how to do. We're all the way to 7D. It goes back to that tough talk where, you know, things you'd like

to say to someone, I don't know. Oh, after the fact? Yeah. Like, we're, whatever. Oh, it happens to me. We can't, like, I got to cover someone, like, whatever ex-boyfriend's tabs or something. Yeah.

Wait. Does that happen? No, I'm just like, he's getting kicked out of a bar because he couldn't pay. I'm like, well, that's a good thing. She married me then. And I just throw the card down and pay his tab for him. He's a piece of shit. He's getting kicked out and also he can't even pay his tab.

That guy fucking sucks. So in your fantasy, you're still down about $78. Yeah. Yeah. In my wildest dreams, I'm paying another man's tab. We did this. a while back where Sean Patton's like you still die in your own fantasy. That's right.

Because that was where Ian's like yeah in Sean's fantasy he gets the whole garbage fire to himself. I think I've said this to y'all before but you know you're really depressed when you're losing the arguments you're having in your own head. Yeah, that's right. And I didn't even win in here. He didn't even make a good point in here.

Can't even imagine a world? I'm the only one in here. I'm the only one. Me and Garzing the other day did. Our brains were like attack. us in the same way one day. And we're like, you know you fucking work for me.

Yeah, yeah. I could fuck it. That's so funny. I could shut this whole operation down. You could be working for the wall if you like it. You keep working for scattered on the wall. Have I had anything to say about it. I have fun working blow into smithereens in the bathroom.

That's maybe the best bit I've heard all months. You're going to be working for the wall. I'm the boss around here, bitch. Dark. I like you. The people of Kenny House is getting there. Anyway, yeah. I guess she, good thing.

She married me. It's beautiful. That's a beautiful pick. David. Woo! Do it again. Uh-huh. Woo!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Simple. Just a little smoo. For everybody listening, that was Ian beatboxing. Beatboxing with all kissing sounds is so funny. I made you a Valentine's Day beatbox. Mm-hmm. Boom, boom, muha.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mwa. Yeah, man. Have you, that, trying to think of the scenario. I've never blown anyone a kiss. Oh, oh. As we cut it off before the word kiss.

It's a crazy thing. I've never blown anyone. I've never blown anyone. Mr. Bori, the question was about whether or not you were in Bolivia. I've never blown anyone. You better believe you. You better believe I've never blown anyone. God, that's satisfying.

Even if he had a great ass. Oh, my God. My favorite. My favorite. You can ask anyone at Muso and Franks if I've blown anybody, and they'll tell you the same thing. David Boree, no, sir. He hasn't done so much as. Blown out a birthday candle.

I'm just talking that voice. Are you going to blow out the candles? Hell no. I don't do that shit. Have you guys never blown a kiss for real? Yeah. Yeah. Not in a, well, yeah, probably.

Mua, like that. Yeah, that's cute. But you've never done the cup. I don't blow. I guess I just, whatever that is. I wave a kiss. Yeah.

But you don't blow it. No, I don't go. Because that's never. That's crazy. Good. Yeah, that's a. That's like a man. on a street on the street.

Yeah, like you're drag racing and a cop pulls over the person you were racing and you're like, you know. You have the craziest scenario. Yeah, what is you're going on? You know, you're infiltrating the Danish embassy. And you have the document. Everyone's looking for a banana clip for the AR-15 and you get the last banana clip. You know what I mean?

Jesus Christ. I think you might have had a lot of past lives. I'm nuts. But that also now happened. All of his past lives happened in the last 30 years. Yeah, somehow. You get the shades on them, hiding behind the paywall over here. You're a ghost, your brain's a ghost of project.

Behind the paywall. I love that. You're going to be working for the wall. This is coming up from my face. You're going to be working for the walls. Who, woo. Loopy doopy. Blowing a kiss, it's fun.

I blow Arthur a kiss all the time. You blow his one. Yeah, I blow a kiss to Mexico. I'll do it. This sounds terrible. I'll do it from stage sometimes. Thanks for coming. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I've done that. I have done that. People are throwing huge bundles of roses at your feet. You're like, I guess I got to blow all of you. I didn't. Oh, saying that's a big.

Let me put the Gisgarde on real quick. Oh my God. The Gizgard? You're next. You keep talking. That's where Thor is from. John, Sean Rode, Game of Thur.

fan fiction about the Jiz God. They're taking the hobbits to Jiz and God. Hark! You would speak to a member of the Jiz God like that! You would speak to a member of the Jiz God. I find you quite bold. I've got something in my throat. Jiz.

Jiz stuff. Cheez shit. Chis stuff. Pick? All right. This is nuts. Okay. This is just such a fun one.

I'd like to see you try. Ooh. Oh, yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Simple. Simple. I want people to try.

Try me. Fucking try me. Do I do two right now? That's like somebody beating you in a in a dune buggy race. Yeah. You're like behind the wheel. I'd like to see you try. Kind of like a drag race, but I'm nuts and you're not.

Dune buggy race. What's happened? I'm fucking crazy. You really? We didn't maybe figure out what's going on behind the paywall. You really want to figure out. stop down, Dunebuggy race has a sense of whimsy to it. Okay.

And that's it. That's the only difference. And also nobody thought you were nuts. It was more the banana clips, I think. That was the more unhinged one. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Okay. That working for the wall thing is the funniest bit I heard of what's this hair? What's this? What's this? What's what? There was hair on your shirt. Oh no. Did you were

going to do the old... It's from like an animal? What is it? Bam! Okay. I was like he's definitely doing it. You wouldn't waste an opportunity like this. There was a hair. You have mustard on your shirt. Mustard! I just break your nose. You spray mustard on my shirt? What's this all of your shirt?

What's his celebration? Pletting that mustard! Did you guys see that Will Miles had a video of like spilling mustard on his shirt, yelling mustard like it was like the day that song came out. That's crazy.

It was like the day it came out. He had a video where it was like, Mustard! Do you think he, Bricks the shirt on purpose for the video. We'll ask him tomorrow. Yeah, we'll ask him tomorrow. Is he on tomorrow? That's right.

How fun. What a funny guy. I love him. Okay. But David, David, you actually have hair like behind your head. That's where we find out David's got a rat tail.

You have a lot of hair like a big palm tail. No, no, no. Your right side. Your right side. What are you saying? It's on your right. There's like a hair. Yeah, you see it, right?

Oh, this is a woman's. Yeah, that's a big boy. That's a big dog. That's a big dog hair. Okay. Okay. Ah! Now's it my turn?

Uncanny impression of me. Is it my turn to draft? Okay. That's you. That's fucking what you sound like. Hop in. We're getting Philly cheese sticks. Oh!

I like that car. Hop in is fun. Hop in, let's get it. Hop in. That one starts good and it ends up delicious. I got to move everything for now and my next one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we ready?

Oh, sure. Wow, if you want to move off cheesesticks that fast. No, no, we don't know what cheesesticks anything. Great. I love it. Hop in or getting cheesecake. Is there a cheesecake place in L.A. that anyone likes? There's one near here actually on Virgil.

That's like, it's okay. Oh, is that booze? I kind of feel like I'm only trying to go to Ishkibibble these days. What's Ishka, It's in Philly. Fun to say. I've never been. And I've never had a proper

Philly cheese stick, I don't think. I can tell. Oh! Oh! Is that it? That wasn't it for that shit. If one of his picks was, I can tell you've never had a real Philly Cheese Stick. What? How did you know?

My next one is that weird. Okay, yeah, yeah, let's go. Can you say it on the mic, though? This next one? Yeah. Well, I got to like... You got to feel it. Shit.

Plank. He crashed here. We're listening. David picked up some light ground, tasted it, and then put his sunglasses on while he said plane crashed here. It fucking ruled. That was awesome. That was Landman Corps. That was good.

Yeah. See, I actually don't think we got a good shot of that. You might need to do it facing the camera. They missed it. They missed it. They got it. A building crashed here. He just picked up a snod rocket from the ground.

Build it. Picture the coolest thing you could think of. Now add sunglasses. You got it. That was great. I love it. He's like a tracker. Yeah. He's from Walker, Texas Ranger. Is it really?

Yeah. He says plane crashed here. He says, he tastes the dirt and he says a plane crash here. Oh, really? You look over and there's just like a seat sitting. He's like, yeah, we knew about that. A smoldering wreckage of a plane? Yeah.

It picks up like an on-fire piece of the ground. I sort of got a plane crowd too. In the writer, in Chuck Norris' head, do you think he's tasting like fuel, Toblerone? Like, yeah. Toblerone's. I bet it's a stroop waffle. Shrewlwaffe? That's how you could doubt.

Damn. What's the airline with the shrewp waffles? Delta. Delta. Really? I've been flying a lot of delta lately. I haven't had a strupe waffle. They're still doing fucking Biscoff.

They're giving you Biscoff. I thought they gave you choices. Biscoff, stoop waffle, or mix-nips you've ever seen. It was Biscop's sunnips or cheese nips or cheese. The main market cheese nip. Oh, I do like a sun chip on a plane. I love a sunship, but I'll blame. Give me a regular size sunship.

Didn't sunships come out saying they were healthy? Isn't that how they got us? Yes. 90s. Like when they first came out, they were like, whole great. The garden sauce that got garden in it or whatever. And then it was like, every day is a winding road. I get a little bit closer.

grab a new sun chip That and like that was They were Snackwell core It was like the 90s healthy Yeah Yeah they really convinced us Yeah Every street is a faded sign

Um Well we're gonna get to Sean's third pick But first You better believe we're gonna take Another break Put your glasses on Wait wait wait wait Yeah get it

Put your glasses on Put your glasses on Well Sean's picks next But first we gotta take a break I could have done that I could have done a better Yeah but let me go pee And then when we come back, you've got to say, and we're back.

Okay, well, let me do a cooler one. Sean's pick. Are we all doing it? Oh, no, you just do it. Well, we can all put our sunglasses on. Yeah, in unison. Sean's pick, brother, it ain't time for Sean's pick. We'll be right back.

And we're back. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Sean's about to make his pick. What was my pick? Hold on, no. I bet it's going to be funny. I'm buckling. I bet it's going to be good.

It's going to be great. I'm eating chips right in this mic. There you go. All right. There you go. There you go. All right. He ends over there, beepbox in it again.

He is. That was piss core. You guys got a lot of bevvvvies on that. It's fun. Don't worry about what I'm drinking. It does look like you put, like it's a huge beer. It's a frosty beer. Biggest head I've ever seen in my life.

You're a Rutgers game. Don't you worry about what I'm drinking, dude. All right. Make your pick. Damn, I should have got a drink. You want me to go a drink? something? Do you give me a Coke zero? Thank you.

I don't even know how you can inhale that long. All right, I got one. Glad you're enjoying that beer, brother. Prostitutes are on me. Whoa! That was crazy. And that's my pick. Is that off the top?

Yeah, that's off the top. It has to be. It has to be off the top. He wrote that down? He was watching Jackass last night? Thank you. He didn't even hear it, so he'll be surprised when you say it later.

What I say it? You got a recap. Oh, that's right. And you're also going to take it as one of your pants. I'm not. Well, I too am I going to take that. Watch it. We wrote down the same exact thing.

This is an interesting guy. What is this scenario? It's a scumbag at a football game. They're like... Yeah, that's where you get that kind of a beer. I guess that's right. And prostitute. And then where I get all my prostitutes.

He's going to find them later. They're very expensive. You don't have to... That's SEC money. S-E-X-S-C-C. Oh. He's a Mississippi State prostitutes. I just took a fucking

molten vinegar kettle to the back of my throat. Now you're saying things in here. Barely put the shades on. All right, well, I won't repeat it so as to keep Isaac in suspense. That'll be fun. It was weird. It was a weird pick.

It was very weird. It was very weird. I'm going to write down a weird pick. Oh, yeah. You're writing them down. Thanks. Time for my third and fourth picks. My third pick is, oh, I can handle the blimp.

The question is, can the blimp handle me? That could be anything. Yours are fucking weird today. Yeah, I can really like that. The blimp could be a blimp. The blimp could be a guy. The blimp could be a club. The blimp could be a beautiful woman.

A beautiful woman. It could be a friendship. It could be a courtship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be a rivalry. A heated rivalry. A heated rivalry. It could just be the good year blimp.

It could be a limping blood and you're a Crip. Oh, my. You're okay. We got there. A blimp. A blood who limbs is a blimp. I can't get silly. Oh, I can handle the blimp. The question is, can the blimp handle me?

Yeah, you're a blimp pilot on this. In my head, I'm a blimp pilot. Well, they're like, is it? anyone here a blimp pilot? And I'm not. Are you a pilot if it's a blimp or are you an operator? I think you're a pilot. Probably an operator.

I think you're a pilot. Someone screaming is anyone here a blimp pilot on a plane? Oh, does anyone here a blimp? A wizard turned the plane into a blimp? Does anybody here know on a fly a blimp? We're probably okay if not. A zeppliner? It's a pilot.

It's a pilot. It's a pilot. It's a pilot. You pilot a blimp? How many blimp pilots are there? We've talked about blimp's weirdly a lot on this podcast. Because famously there were like 25 in the world. That's right. It's like only a few of them.

At any given time? At any given time. What if they're like 700,000 pilots? It's the most competitive industry. It's like comedians where people are like, I'm a doctor, but I'm really I'm a blimp pilot. I have an answer. There are 128 blimp pilots and about 10 to 15 are active. Wow.

Sounds like there's about 1050 blimp pilots. Waiting. Waiting sitting around. Then that other blimp guy died. That's my next big. The blimps are back. Yeah. Blimbs, yeah, the blimps are.

Yeah, the blim. Blim blim. Blim blim. Blim blim. Grab the word around. The blimps of back in town. If the blimps want to fly, you better let them. They have personality.

This blimp wants to fly, baby. They're playing like their horses. It's a lively one. When I say it was cool, it was red hot. I just like that song I mean it was Mottis Supreme Y'all remember that blimp? Mottis supreman

Mottis are back and down lips are back I'm sorry that I tell you so many of me and my husband's bits but that word just reminds me of it so much and I hadn't heard this word in so long Blump? The other day I was like

I was like he like made me a sandwich and I was like what can I do for you he goes blumpkin He just said Whoa I forgot about that He's bringing it back That boy, sweetie loves candy. Blumpkin.

What is that again? It's when you get a blowjob on the toilet. Oh, when you're pooping, that's right. Yeah. You don't have to be pooping like that. Why do you say pooping like that? Everybody told me they like to be pooping. Like the weasel?

Because my pointers on my lip. Oh, when you're poop in. You're a pippin. Yeah. Oh, my, that's a. And my fourth pick. Plumpkin Blumpkin.

I don't need your permission to dance. Ooh. That's footloose. Kick off your Sunday shoes. Yeah, I'm a Sunday shoes. You're jacking off the ghosts again. That was more of a Sean Penn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No. Chris Penn. Chris Penn. Glover. Sean Penn would have been cool in Footloose, though, too. He'd have been a little too serious for Footloose, I think. being in. But still dancing, but really serious. He's really pissed.

He's buff. Tom Pan's buffed, dudes. It's crazy how he got. It's really scary. Is he buffed right now? Yeah, he's got big arms. He's huge. For one battle. Oh, yeah, he does, and he looks so he's so stern. It's scary. He's really scary. Looks like I could hit him with a bat and it wouldn't

move him, you know? It would make like a titanium sound. Great in that movie. He was so good. So scary. Yeah, real scary. Oh, is he you found him scary? Yes. Oh, you did. I was more like creeped out by Leonardo. It's very, yeah.

What were you going to say? No, yeah, he's very creepy. But no, it scared me. He kept doing that thing. He kept doing like a little lizard thing. He was in mouth. Yeah. You remember he was like playing.

He had like a wound. And he was like touching it all the time. Right. What would everyone's Thomas Pynchon name be? I don't know what that means. Blimp. Blimp. It's like, they're like, Thomas Pinchin's characters have names that are always like

Kissingy St. Cloud or like. Yeah. Oh. Veronica Fort Lauderdale. But not always places either. They're just like weird, like Darnell Refrigerator. Sancho pandemonium.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's a great one. David Extravaganza? That's a great one. Yeah. Mine's reesling gorgeous.

That's a good one. That's great. Yeah. You got a trademark that. Reisling gorgeous. Reisling, yeah. Oh, I got one Rhino Palestine. Do you sure do that one?

You are a headline. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. That's good. Mine's Eric Skateboard Jacksonville Danforth Nice Nice

Yeah Could have been better You don't like it I can tell you're upset with yourself I'll give me 20 minutes I'll have one I'll give you three minutes Oh I got one for you

Kentucky Jolisco Oh Game over That's crazy That's a crazy pole One Pablo Haberdasher Yeah Yeah

These are all great Grims and Torrent Oh That's a period. Macaulay Advil. Fantasia necterine. That's good. Macaulay Culkin.

Eleanor happenstance? Happenstance is great. Jean-Carlo Pillsbury. Geronimo London? Sure, yes. Yeah. I know we're just taking two random words. Yeah, but there is an art to it.

Yeah. You can tell there's an art to it. Yeah. Tweed hubas steak. Vladimir Kreblon. Tweed hoopas stah. Guys, I'm scared to tell you this. This hubba steak.

I'm scared to tell you this, but I've made a hoopa stick. Oh my God, I've made a hoopistak. I've made a hoop mistake. You beat boxed on this couch? Yeah, I don't need your permission to dance. And fuck if I do. I don't. Sean, time for your fourth pick.

Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul. Damn. Wow. And then I'm out. Damn. You're going, you're going biker. I'm on a road trip.

Yeah, you're road tripping. That earlier one, that was biker too. Yeah, I like it. I like the theme. Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul. Two bodies move the bed. You can tag that on there. Four bodies.

Four bodies make the baby. Four bodies shake the room. Shake the... Eight bodies get the cops involved. Ten bodies hit the floor. Five golden rings. One camera proves it. Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul.

Is that from something? The pit, like two weeks ago or something. Oh, oh. I mean, it's a... Yeah, because he's going to a motorcycle. It's a phrase. It's better. They didn't make it up, but it just, it's...

I don't know, hit really hard. It's a fun one. And you've been watching a lot of the pit? I watch a lot of the pit. Is this a new year? Oh, I love it. I really like it. I'm thirsty.

Because you're asking a pretty sincere question. You're like, the whole time you're like, I'm listening for whatever you have to say. No big deal. Yeah, so Max is going to start kindergarten next year, and I'm pretty, I'm kind of nervous about it. I think it's going to be a big deal. I'm nervous how that's going to make me feel as a parent. It all flies by. I hope she gets a good teacher.

I hope she likes her classmates. I don't want to get bullied or anything, and I hear that happens. Kind of rampant. Well, yeah, ma'am, because there's only so much you can do a home. Yeah, I mean, I try. I read you her every night, but I'm not a teacher. I don't really know how to teach a kid how to write. I suck reading out of laughing.

Responding into it. You've heard me read out loud, and I'm not right at it. Also, I don't even know how to cook any foods when I'm giving her mac and cheese every night. Doing the Kramer thing. Yeah, man. And like, as you know, the habits you set now can echo into adulthood. For sure. You said your dad was sick?

The guy who's bad at drinking. Good friend, bad at drinking. A good friend. Really poignant questions. He cares. He knows what's going on. Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul. I love that.

I've been trying to this for a really long time. Does anybody want to pop this over? Yeah, I got you. Thank you. And when you're done, it's time for your fourth pick, David. David extravaganza. It's time for David extravaganza. Thank you, man.

If he dies, he dies. Ooh. I like the both hands on that one, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something different about the both hands. Because I was talking to multiple people. All business. I feel like you're a mastermind in this scenario.

You know he's going to die Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah You've masterminded something I'm a blastermind Yeah Has anyone here ever masterminded anything?

I doubt it I kind of set up our move here As far as like calling the The movers and stuff Yeah But did you Were there wheels And did you have to trick anyone?

No Okay yeah No no no It's pretty straightforward I'm I think I think everyone's manipulative To some degree

and I think I am probably accidentally manipulative. Yeah, yeah. But I have never intentionally manipulated anyone. I don't think I have either. And I live with you for a long time. You have to be masterminded that. Maybe I have in some way that's not like big. You know, I don't know.

Oh, I don't say that never have. The first race wars. Oh, you did mastermind that. Yeah, that's right. You mastermined that. Yeah. Didn't see the dog coming, but yeah. That's when it.

God, everyone got a little uncomfortable when animals started getting up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it was like best laid plans. If he dies, he dies. It's great. Fabulous. If he dies, he dies. Laura Pig, time for your fourth and then your final. I've got one that just occurred to me.

I could get horny. Oh, man. Oh, man. I like the shade's going on inside. I'm picturing inside. I feel like you're... A waiter in that scenario. It's a big proposition.

The table is kind of hitting on you and you're like, well... The best little roadhouse in Texas. One planet on it. I can get horny. I can get horny. You should watch the best little whorehouse in Texas, huh? I've never seen it. It's so good.

Dolly Parton? Yeah. I haven't seen it in years and years. It's so good. Amy showed it to me for the first time. Really? Oh, that's an name. Of course.

That's a name. Of course. A lot of whorehouses in Lonesome Dub, a book I am currently 540 pages into. Are there a lot of whorehouses in there? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You've piqued my interest. Probably more whorehouses than any other book I've ever read.

Nice. You're right. Do you ever read East Devon? No, I have not. East of Eden's so good. I just finished. Are there a lot of whorehouses in it? So many whorehouses in that and so many horse.

It's fantastic. That sounds bad. This one chocolate. A horse doesn't sound great. I like 70 ones. I like reformed whorehouses that have turned into attractive Airbnb. My wife. The bee used to stand for booty.

More jobs and booty. Airbed and booty. Airbed and booty. All right. This one's just for fun. I imagine. I imagine. I'm not.

These all have been very serious. I think you can all agree. This one's just for fun. I'm gonna go both. I have no idea what this means, by the way. This little piggy went to market. No idea what I mean by that. No idea what the scenario is.

No idea. I just like, everyone is down on why that's fun. This little piggy went to market. It sounds like something in a movie, like in a movie right before they cut to another scene. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like I'm seeing like a dead guy at a grocery store.

This is a little piggy went to market. Mark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, gold. Lloyd!

It's an excellent pick. Thank you. David, your final pick. Tune Town. Just Tune Town. Where are we going? Tune Town. I feel like they've really

pulled back on Tune Town. When I was a kid, I feel like there was like eight Tune Town. Tunesown was, there's no more Tunesown. Vonkers worked at Tune Town. Roger Rabbit was in Tune Town. There was all kinds of Tunesown.

They still got Tunesown at Disneyland, I think. Or are they replacing it? Isaac? I can look it up. No, I want you to know. Now it's Poon Town. No, it's Poon Town. Best little whorehouse in Texas.

Best little whorehouse in Texas. East DeVeeton has a bunch of Poon Towns in it. I don't like it. No. I don't like that I said it. Not at all. I'm glad it was you Pookeesstoon Town at Disneyland Park

is still active I'm still active Let's go right now This is a Poontown boat That guy who doesn't know Pondtune Pondtune We're taking out my cousin's

Poontown boat Pondoon boat Nope Nope No Poontown I know what Pondon That's so funny guy who doesn't know

Pondune He's friends with a guy who Good friend but drinks bad Sean? Yeah, it's a brand new squirrel suit. And today's the day I died. Yeah, it's brand new.

No, I don't get them used, one of my dork. Are they asking that at PSA? What is it? I think they're asking when we go to do it. In my mind, like, we're driving out and I'm about to go, like, on the mountain. Yeah, like, I'm with someone. We're going squirrel suiting, whatever that term is. So you got squirrel suit?

Yeah, it's a brand-suitting. That's some east. going to be in the B and D and going squirrel suit. Why that you mean like a furry little outfit that you put on with the tail? I'm talking about a condom. It's not a used squirrel suit. We're squirrel suiting from the, uh, from the chopper down to the boot down. I can get horny.

You got squirrel suit? Yeah. Oh, man. And time for my final pick, the final pick of the draft, until we get to Isaac Special O'Pick. I don't come to this chili cookoff to bullshit. I came to win. Yeah. Do you make chili?

Yeah, I can make some chili. I wouldn't put it in a contest, but I'd serve it to all of my friends. You don't have a good chili? I thought you'd have a good chili. I have a really good chili, but I feel like these contest chilies are different. They're doing crazy stuff. I don't even understand what the rubric is. Like a chili cookoff.

You know. Like this one tastes really good. Yeah. Meat and spice. That's what I'm looking for. Sure, me too. But like, do they have... But isn't everyone?

Yeah. Sounds like my Friday night. I like a white chili too. Like a meaty, spicy white chili. A forthright. All a God-fearing... Upstanding. God-fearing.

Stern. Family-bound and driven. Fawthew. A purpose-driven chili? A chili with integrity. A chili of means. Chirlish chili. Yeah.

A loyal chival. It's a white chili is what he's saying. Oh, let me see. A white spicy meat of chili. A big surprise evening eater. A chili that says, you know I pulled you over? A chili that already knows what I pulled it. I like a chili that knows how to get out of it.

Get it? Sexual favorites. Oh, oh. No, that's not one of that. He's a scumbag. You blew the cops? He's blowing cops. No.

Have you ever blown a cow? No, no, no. Such a long cause. Isaac, are we done? No, I haven't blown. No. What? No, I haven't.

What are we doing? Do more bits. You look so much like a cop right now. Do your things that are written down. Do your little funnies. Funny guy. Make me laugh, clown. No, I've never blown a cop.

Do your dance, dickhead. Do your dance. Earn your money. God, I was there's a cop here. Oh, blow. I'd blow a cop. I wish I could blow a cop to get out of this situation right now. I'd blow a cop to get out of this, for sure.

I could get horny. That'd be mean to say. You're in a hospital? I blow a cop. So, you know, we were able to set your ankle, but it will be $12,000 unless you have insurance. Oof, that's a lot of money. Is there a copier I can blow? I'd blow a cop to get out of that.

Can't have a copier I can blow? To get yourself in multiple scenarios where you have to say that? First month and last month rent. I can do first month, but I mean, is there a cop here I can blow? What cop do I got to blow to get a drink around here? I noticed there was a... You're lowering the stakes. And I'm bored.

You got a cop I can blow? What cop do I have to blow to get something to do around there? And my flight got delayed. I don't have a cop for some more chips and sauce. I sure would like to have a cop's dick in my mouth. Do you have a cop I can blow? It's all the way down to that. God, I'd like a suck off of a gum.

Do you have a cup? Oy. Isaac, do you have a pick? Keep the change. Oh, yeah. That's how you know that your glasses. Oh, yeah. You have to be chewing gum as you're doing.

Oh, yeah. He's leaving a 7-Eleven. Sir, you almost a quarter. That guy's got a pocket full of squirrel suits. He says keep the change without paying for it. That'll be 1950. Keep the change and he just runs out. You can't pay with a handful of barked.

He just throws it in their eyes. You went first and you took, yeah, I saw your text. And I'd like to see you try. And hop in. We're getting Philly cheesesticks. And I could get horny. And this little piggy went to market. David, you went second.

You took big time. And I just. and I just wrote down plane? Oh, a plane crashed here. And then you took, if he dies, he dies. Then you took Tune Town. Sean, you went there and you took. Looks like we're going to have to fly right through it.

And, well, I guess it's a good thing she married me then. And the one Isaac hasn't heard, glad you're enjoying that beer, buddy. Prostitutes are on me. And then four wheels move the body. two wheels move the soul. And finally, yeah, it's a brand new squirrel soon. That's just a paragraph, though. Yeah, he forgot.

He was just a dude who's, he needs to figure it out. He just took in-order things that were written in his diary. I went last and I took, oh, I'm not a cop, but these are rollerblades. And then, well, then let's go get kicked out of SeaWorld. And then, oh, I can handle the blimp. The question is, can the blimp handle me? One of my favorites. And then, I don't need your permission to dance.

And then I didn't come. to this chili cook off to bullshit. I came to win. Well, I got, we left some on the board. I got, as far as he's concerned, we're already dead. Oh, damn, that's a good one. God don't like ugly, but I do. And then...

But that's a good one. And then finally, you think I give a shit about a hammerhead shark? Wait, what is that? I don't think you got to keep... No, that's made up. Oh, my God, it sounds like it's from something. I always think you got to keep it off for the squint. on that last one. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that's right. That might be taken off. Yeah. I give a shit about a hammerhead show. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I had versions of jail can't hold me. I'm not going back. I'm 60 versions of that. You'll have to kill me. You'll have to kill me. You're going to have to chop my arms off if you want me to stop biting.

Jesus Christ. It's really right out of here. That was one of them. Oh, my God. You make me nuts, speak. I'm always crazy on these ones. I love it, man. You're at your most unhinged.

We want to hear yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout to everyone on the AFE Patreon where you can find mailbag episodes, auction drafts, this or that episodes, live episodes, and all sorts of other wonderful little trinkets and doodels. All sorts of delights. Three and all five of your senses from your eyes to your ears,

to your tongue. To your nose to the little goose bumps That live on your toes. That appear on your toes, raising your hairs, drawing some stairs, taking you from here to there. Thriller! Thrill night, and it's a, Fee, all day, and then it's a every all night.

Shout out to Super Producer Isaac Cayley on the Juan's and the tools. Shout out to everyone. Shout out to everyone. A. Fies. Shout to St. Sue Carmel. Shout to Frank Ocean. Shout to Sid the Dude. Shut to Hodgibbeats. And more important than all. That tune to again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy, everything.

Shaggity. That was a Hidgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast. That was us now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive.

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