All Fantasy Everything - Things We Look Forward To In 2022 (w/ Lance Bangs, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Pull out your telescopes, family, we're looking ahead and the horizon looks just fine.   Watch us LIVE this Saturday! We're doing a virtual show and tickets are FREE! Register at hopin.com/events/afe/registration.   Episode Guest: Lance Bangs @lancebangs IG: @lancebangs   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.    Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting things we're looking forward to in the year 2022. Our guest today is a renowned filmmaker and music video director who's created videos for bands like Nirvana, Green Day, Arcade Fire, Kanye West, and Odd Future, among many others.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. He's also very involved with the MTV television series Jackass and its subsequent movies, including Jackass 4 Forever, coming to theaters near you February 4th. We're joined today by the legendary Lance Bangs! I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with us, as always, are my friends, comedians, and compatriots, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is sitting on the floor with COVID-19. Why come? It's got to be all about me.

What are you guys doing? Yeah, I'm sitting on the floor. I sit down on the floor and Ian and Dave about about go are you sitting on the floor with covet does make it worse i'm sitting on a chair with medicated high blood pressure dude that's what i'm doing yeah i'm all right i got high high grip pressure man they want me to join back up so i feel you i feel you yeah i got i got the bug man i got the bug and it ain't dank stay safe out there keep it keep it tight how'd you get it uh kissing parties man i've been doing it you know weekly kissing parties since i was five and uh i just figured keep it going i wouldn't

even think at this point that wouldn't blow my mind if that was another yeah you had in your bag. You were like, oh, yeah, also I do weekly kissing parties. That's like how George Washington had that book where the chopping down the cherry tree came from a book that was like stories befitting the legend of George Washington. You know what I mean? He didn't do it, but we could have seen him doing it. No kissing party. I don't know. You were at a planning event for the capital six insurrection uh anniversary right and you all caught the you all got the bug oh anniversary

i was gonna say you're talking about last year uh yeah no we yeah we caught the bug it was yeah it was a different kind of bug but yeah the truth bug you and jamie lee corden dude both struck down in the same week old jim jam well marissa just got in my kitchen talking about long covet i don't even know what the hell she's talking about now so now so now i'm like oh you've got some bad news out of you i'm double scared yeah that is my new favorite doom scroll is just doom scrolling on twitter the hashtag long covet yeah that's why i don't want this virus at all because of the long covet are those the people who never got it back or who never got like their smell back yeah and like are just dealing with

long-term symptoms i haven't dealt with any short-term symptoms so i guess i i think i'm okay but it's gonna be all right the smell so i'm glad i'm a gold star if i don't get my smell back compared to everything i honest i was thinking about this the other night if i could never smell anything again that's okay that's the one to lose it's like it's okay i mean that's the one to lose but it's not like it's okay okay okay i'd rather lose a finger than my penis but it doesn't mean i would be excited to lose my finger i'm not excited i'm saying it's okay it's like comparatively for all the things you don't want to smell your daughter or your wife? David Borey. What?

Sar David Borey. That's not a crazy thing to say. It's a very crazy thing to say. Hold on one second. I got to go for a second. I'll be right back. It's not crazy in context. He's going to go smell his wife.

He's going to go try. While he's doing that, David, how are you and I pulling off this gold star thing? I don't know. I think Ian's a gold star, too. I'm a gold star. I'm a gold star. Yeah. I'm not trying to catch it at all.

I would be lying if I said I was not out in these streets from time to time. Yeah. I don't know. I wear masks. I drink a lot of emergency. Yeah. I think that's I don't I don't know, man. I've traveled. I don't I don't know. I wear masks. I drink a lot of emergency. Yeah. I think that's, I don't know, man. I've traveled.

I don't really know. I did too. I traveled over the winter break. I went to Chicago and Portland. And the fact that I was flabbergasted, sorry to drop that word while Sean's not here, flabbergasted that I didn't catch it, but I didn't. And now I'm like, all right, let me, let me go back into hiding for a little bit. We were going to do a karaoke birthday party for,

I know it's Dana's it's Dana's birthday. We were like, we planned it like a month and a half ago. And we were like, yeah, it'll be all right by then. And like, we couldn't,

we canceled that like hard, hard canceled dude. Kevin Spacey canceled that shit. Like it was nowhere immediately dude i haven't all my all gigs are getting canceled it's like because in denver you forget like i had to go to california to film something for a couple days and you forget how we denver is lawless is what i realize now we We're out here. We're taking shots. People are dining in all the time.

And then you go to California and like, oh, shit, this is like bad. It's a little different out here. Yeah. We're supposed to go to New York in a couple of weeks. And I'm like thinking that might not be on the table either. No, not the whole show. The whole show is off until the 18th. Gordon got it. So we're off until the 18th of january now nice yeah weird way to find out that

cordon was going to sean's kissing parties i know yeah what a weird oh sorry i had to go say goodbye um what did somebody die no i had to go to laura's mom just dipped out so where are we what are we talking about huh what's the hot goss? What's going on? Did you get your scent back? Yeah. Yeah, I can smell what the rock's cooking, buddy. You apparently maintained your sense of responsibility as a son-in-law, which is nice.

Yeah, I got it. Yeah, I'll tell you about it later. But had to go say bye. What? You whisper like it's not being just recorded. Yeah, well, fucking not by them. Their ears are right there. You haven't said anything.

I'm aware of that. That's why. That guy who's being cagey is Seanis Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. Sean Cagey Mellon leaving a lot of stuff out. Cagey Lang. In the real world, KG Lang. PG Lang.

Boy, they're just not letting this happen today. Now the cats just got back in. Anyway, yes. What's going on in that room? Sean's recording in a rock tumbler, dude. He's on the ground. The cats are challenging him for space supremacy. Yeah. Yeah. What's's up how's it going you i i like i don't think people can tell on edge but i'm looking at you right now and i'm

or on the online on the podcast i'm seeing a man on edge no i'm not i just it's i'm seeing a man on on bono and the edge right now dude yeah it's been It's been, uh, it's been busy. I don't know. I don't have any cancel my show in Seattle. Sorry to everybody about that, but obviously that was the move. And then I'm not quite sure about these Minneapolis shows. They're supposed to be in February, but I don't know.

Um, maybe I doubt it. You know, you can tell the people about this live stream that we have in two days. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to do a live stream on we have in two days there it is yeah yeah we're gonna

do a live stream on uh january 15th at 5 p.m pacific 8 p.m eastern why do i sometimes think there's another time zone in this country because there are several now is there is there you know what i mean after after eastern there's not like one in the in the high sliver of New England or anything. We don't have a sneaky fifth time zone up there or anything. I know Alaska. You got a mountain in Hawaii? Yeah.

Alaska? Yeah. So I guess if there's any Hawaiian listeners, 3 p.m.? 1 p.m.? 2 p.m. 2 p.m. 2 p.m. Hawaiian time.

What time Alaskan? Depends. That's a big, big chunk of land up there dude i'm not gonna run the numbers on this no and if you're uh if you're in if you're across the pond i'm gathering it's at one in the morning from that person that just instagram about it that's right now how can people find uh how to get to this stream what can they expect we'll be doing a live stream all fantasy everything draft how can the people find it i'll put it in uh my twitter bio i'm sure you guys will too but it's also on the link the head gum link where the podcast like where you would go get the podcast there's a link uh the web the companies hop in i'm not actually sure of their site but yeah just check the episode description i'll add it in

there it's gonna be real fun we've got some surprises for you it's gonna be a blast it's gonna be a real fun time i'm gonna have some claws dude i'm gonna get some of those like iced tea white clothes sean's gonna have some claws i'm gonna be one day off a root canal i'm trying to move it but either way i'm gonna be all good by the way good on you and david you too don't you have a don't you have an rc cola coming up too yeah uh the 20th i think it is putting a root down it ain't that bad it's they know me no it ain't dank but it ain't it ain't that bad and it's whatever you're done you've won and done then you then your tooth is dead after that which is kind of fun.

My brother on getting a root canal is David Borey. He's not on Twitter, but he is CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. You can find him there. Hey, all shows canceled thus far. But, you know, maybe Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, and the DC Improv, and Manitoba canada i'll maybe you know in the summer we dance manitoba dude are you doing the boys to manitoba fest yeah they got me they finally got me i had been we've been putting in for years i'm the new one yet did one you used to have the cane that's what you think one year looks like they all used to

have a cane but one year had the most cane yeah That's what you think Wanya looks like? They all used to have a cane, but Wanya had the most cane, yeah. That's what, when he was singing, he did the... They all had lip quiver bad. I used to try my hardest to look like... I would go to Penny's and I would find the most polo gear that I thought Wanya would wear. And I'd put card like like stuff that looks wildly different on juan ye than me but i would try i'd try to dress like juan ye never you probably just looked like a polo player yeah i still try to dress like i just look like a little

like a little rich white kid is what i look like and i sure wasn't while you were having sex and taking baths yeah i did kissing party since the age of five 10 years into the kissing party game at that point. Yeah, man. Lance, I'm wild, dude. You're finding out a lot of stuff. I'm learning so much. And you got a machine gun flag in the back. No, he doesn't. Don't say that.

Mosey and Beak has a machine gun on their flag and like a hoe. Like the farm implement, a hoe. I think it's what that is. But Lance does not have Mozambique's flag hanging behind him. No, he doesn't. It was a bit from earlier. And I forgot that we weren't actually recording at that point. Yeah, dude.

Get it together. That's that long COVID, bro. I lost my sense of memory. Yeah, that's right. I'm getting that Jeremy Strong COVID, dude dude which makes you like method act for like six seven months yeah god it does bum me out i really i thought too i was like i ain't gonna get it and then here i sit well there's no shame in it my friend there isn't but i'll tell you you feel i did you know because i had to text a bunch of people be like hey i got the bug yeah i was

with you so heads up and it's nothing that's i can't imagine not to you know i'm saying i can't imagine if it was something different to have to be like what do you mean like he's talking about syphilis that's what he's doing syphilis ain't bad you can get rid of that i wouldn't mind honestly you have to tell you can get rid of syphilis you can get rid of both those you still have to tell people yeah but if you can follow up the text by saying and you can definitely get rid of it it's it's easier than being like hey i got this thing and you cannot get i bet you it sucks regardless yeah i'm sure it's like i'm david i'm a i'm a positive guy i'm saying it does but it could suck more just like losing your sense of smell it's not the worst sean what else are you

positive for good times huh i'm positive that i wasn't thrilled about the new matrix movie really there you go you would have loved it nah i was a little too a little too uh intellectual for my taste i wanted a little more knock them up shoot them kind of thing then it was too i had to dig too much on that and it was too long okay yeah yeah so there you go there's some negative shit what's up i'm different now that's the negative of the matrix yeah yeah start another podcast called negative shit lance bangs is here he won't be appearing on negative shit but he is here on the all fantasy everything broadcast lance bangs on twitter lance bangs on instagram lance bangs on let's get everybody to go see this new

jackass movie, which may come up later. February 4th, only in theaters. Only in theaters. I can't fucking wait. I have a feeling we might talk about it later. What else have you got going on? How are you, man? I'm doing well. I've been in one of the more interesting

chapters of my life. Just kind of stumbled into some interesting things. I've been checking out. I've been kind of in one of the more interesting chapters of my life. Just kind of stumbled into some interesting things. I've been checking out. I've been doing a lot of parenting, a lot of hanging out with my daughter and checking in on my son, who's a young man. He just got a bunch of stitches last night. Whoa. He's become an instructor at jujitsu. He's like 20 years old and he's like training dudes.

He's like 20 years old and he's like training dudes. And in the sort of the dojo that he primarily works in, in Philomath near Corvallis, he was wrestling and someone's knee kind of caught him up on the skin around the eye socket and popped him open and he had to go get a bunch of stitches last night. Gosh, dude. The dome. Yeah. How many? I need to confirm the number. I'll send you guys some pictures okay yeah i'd like to see that yeah i'm i'm i'd rather hear about your son getting involved in those kind of stitches than the miami-based white rapper who sells

cocaine stitches so this is exactly stitches this is probably better more than yeah better than he's into this yeah absolutely what what can you tell us more about this interesting thing trapped in your life, or is it going to be the kind of thing we're going to find out about in six months? It's insane, and it's going to be like a personal conversation, not for public consumption yet. Oh, amazing. Okay, fantastic. We'll have that personal conversation.

Yeah, for those of you wondering, Lance killed a guy. Yeah. It's been a wild ride. Not the guy you were thinking either. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a different guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a wild ride. Not the guy you were thinking either. Yeah. Yeah. It's a different guy. Yeah, dude.

And then the other fun thing is I made a comedy special with Moses Storm that's coming out on HBO Max on the 20th of January. Yes. It's so good. It's great. Yeah. And I put David Borey in a Beatles project. Yeah. He did.

My mom still doesn't believe it. She just doesn't understand the science behind it. How did you get to here? I asked you too. That's awesome. I directed a video for George Harrison for

the song My Sweet Lord and was fortunate enough to be able to time it when David Borey was around to appear. God, I wanted to be in it. I know. It was such a... I know. I had chosen Portland. I keep trying to put you in fun things, Ian, and you keep being too busy making other fun things. I hate it. I hate it. But if you saw me

on the roof in Portland, it was... You got to see that instead of me being in the George Harrison video, and I hope you're happy, Portland. I hope you're fucking happy. Assholesholes i did wear a great outfit that night but that video is fantastic great i mean congratulations and great work man it was so awesome yeah that ruled yeah david how did it feel to dance with rosanna arquette it was one of those things that you never thought you know sometimes stuff happens to you that you didn't even think was a possible it's like you can't qualify because i never it never even seemed even when i showed up i was like well that's not what's gonna happen you've now danced with every

member of the arquette family which is wild yeah which is wild yeah yeah you got an arquette bingo dude yeah no it was it's. It still doesn't register. I like it when people send me pictures of it, though. I'd like to see you dance with Joan Cusack now. Oh. Yeah. Man, you and me both brothers. Yeah, dude.

Shout out to Joan Cusack. Yeah. I think we would have good dance chemistry. She doesn't get enough love on this podcast, and that's on us. And and in 2022 we're going to take accountability for that has she not come up more no not enough joan cusack on here a little bit of john cusack high fidelity is my favorite movie of all time every other day and then tombstone is the every other other this is on you then gross point blank i can't remember sean i love that movie okay i bet there's not a cusack project that you don't enjoy i'm gonna go i believe i even like 1408 i like 2012 all the number ones they're big with all

those well you're making all the all the cusack number movies well we don't it's a whole different podcast we want to talk about numerology numberology cusack numbers that's your podcast that actually pays most of your bills this is a vanity project yeah man yeah this is just for fun i just get strangers on it. I have them guess box office gross numbers. Just for Cusack movies. Gross point blank. Guess for Cusack.

Huge. Shout out to John Cusack's sandals with socks as a cop in Con Air. Just a big shout out to that. Yeah. He made a lot of choices on that movie. He did, man. He did make a lot of choices on that movie. Billowing sand colored choices. Huge suits. Yeah. A lot of fabric. A lot of choices on that movie. Billowing sand colored choices.

Huge suits. Yeah. A lot, a lot of fabric, a lot of fabric back in the day. That's how you knew we were doing good in the nineties. We were spending all that money on fabric for suits. Yeah.

Go look at, go watch Wayne's world and look at Rob Lowe's suits. There's so much. All right. I'll be right back. Yeah. Come back in a couple hours after you've seen wayne's world again i'll come back i'll come back probably watch it three times a year

wayne's most storm is so funny make sure you watch that special on hbo max i can't wait to see it love moses yeah oh i just i just want to shout out it was my very first hbo screener i ever got that was like personalized to me and it felt really good to watch nice all right really yeah but seriously the special was very very good i think i'm even gonna re-watch it they do some really cool stuff with the stage and all that would highly recommend fantastic it was ambitious apparently my screeners got lost in the mail i don't know who i'm saying that to the email the email damn electronic dude someone send me the licorice pizza screener i don't care who it is but someone on this call send me the licorice pizza screener. I don't care who it is, but someone on this call, send me the licorice pizza screener.

I'll bring it up. I'm bringing it up next time I'm in the Portland area. Yeah. Oh, man. I just watched Magnolia, which is... Oh, yeah. For the first time? You just watched Magnolia?

I've tried to watch Magnolia 43 times. You lived on Magnolia. I lived on Magnolia. I've rented it on iTunes movies, like, for real, five times. I just got through it yesterday. Yeah, it's heavy. You know on itunes movies like for real five times i just got through it yesterday yeah it's heavy you know it's not it's not like it's not like watching boogie nights or something yeah so which thing i really like because i was like trying to like okay i want to watch licorice pizza but let me do another one yeah yeah yeah yeah but familiarize myself with the oeuvre yeah yeah yeah and it reignited

my passion for the pickup artist game so that's good too yeah that's a that's a smoldering fire for you yeah everybody knows i'm a big pua guy you're peacocking right now people can't see it but david is wearing like a purple fur coat and kind of like it's, I don't know if it's exactly the hat that Dustin Hoffman wore as Captain Hook in Hook. Inspired by. But it's okay. It's inspired by. But it is the wig that he wore in Captain Hook as Captain Hook.

And he's got ski goggles around the top. He's peacocking hard. In fact, he has a peacock perched on his forearm. Did you guys ever think you could get away with just wearing ski goggles and people would think it was cool? No. No, but I did have a dalliance with batting gloves. Oh, did you?

You did not. You and Murphy Lee, dude. Are you serious? I wasn't like. You did not. I wasn't like. I didn't wear them out like for a night, but I did wear them to somewhere where I wasn't going to be picking up a baseball bat. Just thinking like. They are pretty cool. Yeah. White champion batting gloves or what

are we talking about? They might've been foot. They might've been football gloves, but they're, they're essentially like batting gloves. Yeah. Just, just, it could have been driving gloves, dude. You're just got gloves on where you didn't need the gloves. They were white. They were white Nike with like, I think like a black, like, or they could have, I know they were white they were white nike with like i think like a black like or they could have i know they were definitely nike because i got them at the employee store yeah you see that with a high school you were in high school i assume yeah i late high school or it was or it was early college i did the thing the arm the thing um the wristband around your forearm i did that a few times yeah i was like i leave in the house and i'm like just keep telling yourself you look dope just keep telling yourself you look dope and Just keep telling yourself you look dope. And then, you know.

I think the wildest outfit I ever tried to pull off, it was, I did a white button up shirt with khaki cargo shorts. And I had my big hair. And I did a red bandana, dude, tied in the back. Nice. And I was out there. I bet you looked fine. I didn't. A white shirt and khaki shorts with a red with a red band is a white button-up billowy i like i don't know man no okay i'll take

your word for it i could see it at a barbecue jordan twos like if i met you not jordan twos that was a crazy thing to say lebron twos lebron twos not jordan twos guys who rock jordan twos i get it but also i don't get it no i can't i get it but i can't get there also did you guys see what i dropped in the chat i'll buy this for sean if he's willing if i had to think yeah get those i'm trying to put to get dog those oh david they're joker if i'm willing they are but and doesn't didn't somebody Yeah, I get those. I'm trying to put together... Oh, David. They're Joker football gloves. Didn't somebody have those a year ago? Like an actual player? Some customs in the NFL, yeah.

If I had to pick out the craziest outfit I wore, I think I could piece it together just by saying it was a lot of Crip stuff. But I tried to look like I thought an active crip looked like without really knowing what that was so just like duke duke jersey blue undershirt blue dickies blue carl can eyes blue bandana hanging out of my pocket duke hat backwards bandana underneath it

and i would be like 12 at the mall man picture picture that david how much would you hate that god i would have victimized you oh yeah i know my craziest outfit it was uh it was a it was a latrell spreewell jersey with a knicks hat at the same time wow and uh oh like old like like early aughts hip-hop yeah and then matching armbands and wristbands and it's just a lot of orange big boy yeah it is that look where it's like a bold it happened in skating for a while too right like probably in the later o's but it was like a bright red shirt, bright red flat hat, and then like bright red laces in your shoe,

like whatever, whatever the solid color was, but it was like, boom, this is the color I'm wearing all on every part of me. And it's just a wild look. Or a little bit of orange goes a long way. And a lot of orange doesn't go very far at all.

A lot of, a lot of orange. I've worn a lot of orange in my life. Yeah. I've seen you wear orange shoes for sure i think you look good in orange you have a this is gonna i mean this is the kind of it's it's hard to say this to someone to their face you just have a you're like you're very you have a very cool aura about you where i'm like i'll see you wearing something and you look great in it but i but i'm like very few people could pull that off maybe that's not a hard thing to say to someone's face

but maybe it's a hard thing to accept i feel like orange is a personality thing for sure shout out to my boy andrew moore he's just always been an orange guy and it's not weird but sometimes if you see a guy who's just like flirting with the orange lifestyle, it's not. Nah. You have a calm, cool, and collected presence that says I can pull this shit off. And then no one can disagree with you. You look cool and shit. You have a great aura-ing about you. And there we go.

Lance thought it was funny. I care about you too. Kick rock. Now it looks like the hostage, they finally let me sit up. You don't have to lay on the floor. Sit up. Do you have a worst outfit you've ever worn, Lance, that you can recall? Yeah, there were times

in the 90s that I really liked the idea of making my own goggles. So not like the kind of goggles that you pick up artists with, but like melting plastic to try and make the shape of underwater goggles. Oh, wow. Like folding your own plastic and then melting it. And then I combined that with capes.

And when I couldn't find a cape, I'd wear a towel. Whoa. And so I started having parties in Athens that were themed with like you had to wear goggles and capes to get in. Okay. And everyone else looked better than me. Lance. So you were the originator. Everyone else's version of that idea worked out better.

Have one in Portland, please. Let's do it. Let's do a goggles and capes party. Sean, you were at a goggles and capes party on January 6th of 2021, right? Different goggles, different capes not i do not recall i do not recall my name is ian carmel ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish anatomy a love story available everywhere now i think at the time of this podcast dropping. Yeah. The time of the book by the book by my fiance's book. I don't want to work anymore.

Yeah. House husband. All right. And when are you going to make her an ex fiance? That's coming up. That's coming up. Well, I mean, we might. It's coming up.

Oh, I got to say. I got to send you a little thing. Fuck. I have your answer. It's coming up. Without further ado, let's talk about the very things that we're excited about in the year 2022. Last week, we did a pop culture recap draft looking backwards. This week, we are looking forward to the year 2022.

Not just pop culture, but all the things we're looking forward to. It's a dark time in our nation right now things are spooky things are scary the omicron virus is surging let's remember the things that we're excited about that give us hope for the future the way i had a tough on tough time on this one did you it was a lot more personal stuff than i thought and a lot less like i think that's good i think that's wonderful i got a good mix yeah yeah i got i got some real low stakes stuff in there and then some like some real big personal stuff in there yeah yeah it's good man uh well let's let's let's determine the order of that draft with a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the

three of you and we throw on shoot here we we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. All me, but damn it. Oh, not all you, dude. David Vortys back. Oh, the lady doth protest. I tried to call it before I knew it. I was like, just put it out in the world that you won and then I didn't win. Dude, COVID's affecting your eyesight now too, bro.

It's spreading, dude. Well, it's a good thing I opened my mind's eye, bro. COVID can't take the third eye. COVID can't get into your mind's eye, bro. It's all a state. You just gotta focus on that third nostril. Is that what they call the butthole now? The third nostril?

Yeah, why don't you go see if you can sniff that? David, as the winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of the draft before you rather remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question it's like if you fill up your ice tray this is a pretty good one so if you're like you have it is another shot huh babe if you have a great history god damn ice tray and you're filling it up you don't just go all willy-nilly you start and you go from like the top it's usually three or rows of three or four so you start at the top left and hold it under the under the water it is david yeah it usually is you're saying the typical ice cube is usually three rows across as opposed to

tray david don't try to put something there that's not there, alright? I'm explaining it the right way. And then you fill from the top left to the top right and you go down one cube and then you go right to left and then you go down one cube, left to right, down one cube, right to left,

down one cube, left to right until it's all filled up. And then you put it in the freezer away from people who might grab it thinking that it's frozen ice. You make sure that you take the second ice tray, move that to the front of the freezer so nobody goes in there and grabs the ice tray that's not frozen yet and gets water everywhere. Dude, I fill up an ice tray like I'm cannonballing into a pool. You just put it into the sink? I jack it up and then move it all until it's all full. There's no order to it, dude dude it's a disordered process for me lately i just i buy bags of ice and i got like one of those whole trays in there and i just i put it in there oh you're the you'd like

to waste a little bit you like the plastic bag to just kind of go waste no i use it to kill neighborhood cats nice dude so i use every part of the bag. I just thought about telling you guys a story, and I'm not going to tell you, because it's depressing. Oh, good, don't. Yeah, yeah. Shut the fuck up. I'm not going to.

I'm not going to. That's a 17 draft for you. That's exactly how it works right there. I'll tell you what, bud. Basically, what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, David, with that in mind,

what will the order of today's draft be? Oh, David cough check it out oh god yeah yeah he dabbed for the listener at home hopefully not for the listener hopefully for the listener on the way to the hospital now because he just dabbed disgusting i don't want to call or cough into the microphone oh my god god it's worse when you do two which i guess mathematically makes sense when you do it i feel like you look like you know when you see like a baby bird of prey and they have like those spindly little feathers but they're mostly gross skin there's something about the way your arms are shaped that makes me think of like a baby vulture and perhaps the very one that's going to grow up to pick my bones clean yeah no dude it's like is it this you look like it looks like you it looks like you glitch

yeah you look like bradley cooper playing the elephant man yeah did bradley cooper play the elephant man on broadway i'm on it i'm on it i'm already on it bradley coop bradley play the elephant man on broadway without any prosthetics or makeup just saying like yo let me handle this on my own with body work and just contorted himself in a in like in kind of a cloth diaper to his credit isn't that how they always do it though it's like notoriously like they've done it like that david bowie oh really john merrick's bones david bowie played the elephant man yeah on broadway it sounded i know you said bowie but it sounded like you said bory and it's funny sign me up for david bory's elephant man dude i don't know if i got the chops yet what if you're playing the

elephant from the buster rams video yeah i could do that yeah i'd like to think i could do that. Yeah. I'd like to think I could do that too. Well, you can't. Yeah, no way, dude. David. Both? Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Oh, no. Yeah.

What? I missed it. Is that Cradley Bruble? It's Cradley Bruble. Oh, man. I'm Cradley Bruble. He still looks, he looks perfect. No, he doesn't.

I mean, no, he doesn't. He does, though. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. He does, though. No, not at all. No, dude. I'm having... Yeah, I get what you're saying, but he... You're imagining Bradley Cooper the way you might see him in a promotional photo

for, like, Nightmare Alley. Yeah, I feel like you're thinking about Limitless. Get Limitless out of your head. Shut down the Synapse chain and just focus on this image. This is limited. It's hard to do. I know it's Bradley Bruple. Hard limits, dude.

Term limits. David Boyle, what will the order be? I think it's going to be Sean David Lance Ian. Hot corner. Sean David Lance Ian, which means we're about to get to Sean Jordan's first pick for what he's looking forward to the most in the year 2022, right after this short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country. You figure it out from there. But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley. All right?

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Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy. It's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. We're back. Welcome back to all fantasy everything. The only podcast that has ever existed. This is it. If you've heard a podcast,

it was all fantasy everything. The daily on the New York times just rerouted to the episode where we drafted them all. That's it. We're the only form of media that has ever existed other than jackass forever and theaters everywhere. February 4thass Forever in theaters everywhere February 4th? February 4th. February 4th.

Only in theaters. Only in theaters. And Moses Storm's comedy special, HBO Max, January 27th. 20. January 20th? Yep. January 20th. You can also watch it on the 27th if you're busy that week, if you're out to sea, if you're in international waters, but I'd recommend catching it on the 20th with all that said sean jordan you have the first pick yeah i sure do so we were uh

last year we drafted things we were looking forward to in the summer so like whatever would have been last summer i'm sure this got brought up in some form but what i'm looking forward to most personally is now that i have my own backyard and house that I own is buying a grill and grilling. Oh yeah. That's what I'm looking forward to the most for next year is. Okay. Is that, does that count? I mean, it's like, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's not, it's not like I'm not looking forward to barbecues. Are you looking forward to it? It's grilling, but it's not like I'm not looking forward to barbecues. I'm looking forward to me having a grill for the first time in my life in my yard and inviting people over and cooking for them. I've never really done that ever, ever for real at my place.

I've definitely lived at places where barbecues were hosted. I've been to barbecues. I've operated a grill from time to time, but I've never been like, hey, come over. I'm handling the food. It's my crib. You come over. You don't do a thing. You sit there. Whatever you want to do, I will cook. Da-da-da.

I'm looking forward to that. I've seen your backyard. It's a perfect grill and backyard. You got enough space? That's all that sold me on the whole crib was the uh whoa see now that looks yeah he still looks good though david bowie still looks like david bowie it looks better than bradley cooper for sure cradley brooper oh yeah oh yeah oh interesting lance just put up a uh david bowie's elephant man in uh the chat and it's way better looking.

Yeah, well, David Bowie's just a better looking guy than Bradley Cooper, because David Bowie's got a little more original look to him. His teeth are kind of jacked up. Bradley Cooper looks perfect. Happy 75th birthday to David Bowie, as we record today. Happy birthday. I was at his 50th birthday.

Where was that? What was that like? It was great. He kind of brought a ton of people to New York to hang out. And I went along with the Foo Fighters. Yeah. And there was a performance at Madison Square Garden with like Robert Smith and, you know, just like good combinations of people playing and him. And he just was like happy to have everybody there.

And just great New York weekend. What was he like to hang out with? What was his vibe? Cause he seems so ethereal. He was funny. He was like sly and clever and funny. And like, I, I came into him from like the music and, you know, art side of his work and didn't know the sense of humor to him at that point.

And then I think that got more visibly revealed when he was doing you know the later stuff he did in the comedy space he was on like extras stuff like that he was hilarious but yeah just like funny, sly, charismatic wanted to make people feel good he was very generous

with his charisma what's the spread like at one of those events? what's the food? what are we talking about? he had like a mix of people performing with him, and so there's a lot of vegetarian options, but if you just needed some protein because you had to go drum, there was also eggs and

cold cuts and stuff like that for people that just wanted that. That's why I'm always with the protein, because I gotta drum. I need some protein. I gotta go hit the stage. Give me 40 buffalo wings. I got to get the stage. Give me 40 buffalo wings. I got to get the protein in me. I'll be drumming all night.

That's how we know we are trapped. There's nothing I need to prepare for. Everything that they give us in the green room is gratuitous. There's nothing I actually need. Yeah, there's no reason to have 15,000 calories of salt cured meats in the back, but we do. Yeah. It is funny when someone tells you where they're like, oh, you gotta some protein you're like i think i think i get plenty of pride if i'm gay i just think there's plenty of protein going into my body from the stuff that i eat that i don't need i don't need it's the most proteins plus one that becomes problematic yeah yeah it's

who's coming in with you talk about the the appies right the protein plus the mozzarella sticks not a lot of protein in mozzarella sticks. Did David Bowie perform at his own 50th birthday or was it just a bunch of people performing for him? Now my brain is confusing. Other times I saw him around that era and that particular night. I'm going to have to look that up real quick to confirm.

My main memory is all the other people that were doing his material. Oh God, that's amazing. I certainly saw him right around that time so I'm going to see whether my memory is holding up about whether he got on stage that night or not. Is that when he was afraid of Americans, afraid of the world, or was that right

before that? It was like a year after that. That would have been probably like, yeah. God, that's awesome. A year or two after that. Was there anybody who was hilarious and walked up and said, happy 50 Bowie-eth day? No. That doesn't even... That would have been your shot. That was the figurehead! That's why we would have't even that that would have been your shot that was that's why we would have been friends we would have been fast friends david got a joke for you

come here i don't even get the joke uh bowieth day sounds like birthday no it doesn't bowie bowieth day oh stop it yes it does come on john happy bow boy-eth day. Maybe if Bradley Cooper as the elephant man said it. But not anyone else. I'm not going to do that impression because I think it's going to get me in trouble. Feels problematic. Oh, yeah, don't. Maybe shouldn't be referenced it. Happy boy-eth day.

Backyard grilling, dude. That's your number one thing you're looking forward to in 2022? Absolutely. As soon as... I mean, you know, we'll talk about the other but i'm just saying i just man and i've been pretty pretty on board with this whole thing where it's like yeah let's let's of course we need to quarantine we need to be safe and da da da but i'm and i'm ready to keep doing that but i am ready to also hang out first three things you want to

throw on the grill go yeah i don't you guys will be getting asked because i don't really know much about it i you know what i guess some brats and some wings and like some seasoned what's a good veggie like zucchini that way you grill you grill it you like throw it in tin foil like season on some zucchini corn is fun oh yeah some corn on the cob no i'll stick with zucchini that's i always that was like one of the vegetables that i liked that wasn't corn on the cob when i was at a barbecue was like if somebody would grill up and season zucchini i'd be like sure i can handle that so i don't know i wouldn't mind i can't i just want to branch out i want to get like kind of a big grill you know nothing crazy not like an asshole but you know just some put some with some real estate on it and then just and then

just grill the number one thing sean jordan is looking forward to in 2022 buying a grill and grilling i can't wait to be there in that backyard with him david pory time for your first pick uh i'm gonna take sean's pick about grilling and i'm gonna to move it over to frying. I'm going to say the California psilocybin legalization initiative. I think that I think gooms are going legal in California in 2022. Yeah. I think that's like, what do you call them? Gooms boomers. Nerd.

I've never heard that shrooms. I've never, I've never heard gooms. Oh, well, you're not cool. No, I'm just kidding. I think it's like, I don't know. I have a lot of friends who are like really on the frontier of that space, if you know what I'm talking about. I think David and I have friends that have been on the frontier. Yeah, 100%.

100%. And I think it's just like a really exciting thing also just a decriminalization so people can not be in jail for selling mushrooms and whatnot i just i think it's like whoa that's a really wild exciting thing that's happening and like imagine just going to the store if they legalize gooms i don't think i have to have beer ever again right so when you say legalize you mean it's not decriminalized you mean well it's decriminalized in a handful of cities right now right i think denver's one i think all of california i'm not sure where else oregon all of oregon all of oregon yep everybody thought that was legal for a while everybody thought

they were like well they're legal it's there's a huge difference between decriminalizing and legalizing something yeah but i mean decriminalizing is the the first step to legal it's the first step but you're talking they're going to be legal in california like go buy some and do them at the crib well i mean you know if it if it goes in in five years am i going to be walking into a shop on like fairfax called mush that is like an apple store you know what i mean it has like in five years you're gonna own a franchise to five locations of mush yeah yeah if you need mushrooms in beaverton you know where to come dude like you know just hit me up uh i'm shakes that's amazing i haven't done mushrooms in way too long i need to get back never done never never done yeah it's one of those because i personally am not a big fan of acid as far as in that space i never liked it i just something about it feels too like

clinical but like a good mushroom trip and i don't mean a trip like i'm too old to want to like see shit anymore but just like eat some gooms and be outside all afternoon really try to get to the bottom of some shit man it just like heightens everything right like it makes everything a little brighter when you're not hallucinating it puts a baseline down you can hallucinate i'm not gonna tell you that well you can't really you can't you can't really control it right it just could whatever happened well i mean if you eat a bunch and you're all fried yeah man you're gonna be looking at the couch and it's gonna be like you're gonna be like fuck my mom's picking me up in an hour yeah i would not go into it with control on the mind okay but i would i i mean if you ever want to explore the space you want to go into it with the moon landing on the mind

you want to go with your third eye and third nostril open wide open dude if you have some time to kill on the floor of a guest room here i am here i am you may as well i can i can help you out friend here i sit it's a lovely it's a lovely little feeling i just feel like it like if you do just a little bit it like lays a nice little baseline down and like it it does heighten things in a lovely way like i for me it heightens appreciation and and and like makes you feel god body yeah they're doing stuff for like like lots of trauma stuff and all kinds of research that's been going into it but it's just it's really it's really it's just a really exciting thing if you take some mushrooms and i don't know half hour before you

go to bed do your dreams get it or does it just is it lost i've never done that i haven't either i've never done it right before it seems like it feels kind of dumb i don't really hear about people doing that and i feel like i would have yeah okay it just popped in maybe it might yeah it might give you i i assume it would give you crazy dreams okay it's not like it's not that insane i don't know it's not it's it's really like i think i'm building it up a lot because i've never done it and i have an idea of what i think it is it's a gentler enhancement of the good things that you can connect with empathetic and ethically yeah then it is like some wild exactly you know i like to think of it as emotional MSG. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. That's perfect. It's just a flavor enhancer of whatever you put it on. Okay. And not racist. Yeah, no one's like busted saying horrible things and be like, oh, I accidentally took so much. Yeah, no one needs to like kill them all.

Oh, sorry, I was on shrooms. I had no idearooms it's always just like i think we're all connected yeah but in my experience it makes you perceptive it doesn't make you like the the kind of downside of like uh like having to spend time around this idiot who's too high and and just like annoyingly dumb like it doesn't give you that side it is more like david said sort of a more in touch with feelings and noticing things and details and your senses are heightened and yeah and noticing that sounds awesome and noticing people really like you said like just really like maybe if they're people and just like i've had many times on mushrooms where i've been been around somebody that i maybe didn't consciously think about it but then i was on mushrooms and i was like i'm so thankful that i know you and have known you for years

and get to enjoy life with you like it's like really it's a it's a really special thing well apparently i've been on mushrooms for about 20 years though yeah sean jordan five yeah yeah you fell in a vat young no i i mean you know i got like my booze don't need nobody on that one because sometimes honestly you just yeah you get a couple of whatever altered your state and you're like this is this is perfect this is amazing and you're just so appreciative of what is around right on so yeah i remember looking at this sounds like very like oh your emotions but I remember once just like looking at a tree and thinking about like how grateful I was for trees in like a way that like sound like for when you're not on mushrooms is just

like, oh, you know, I like trees. But like when you're when I was in it and ever since I was in it, I'm just like, man, that's fucking they're beautiful and it's amazing. And they're here for generations and like all this stuff. And it's really nice to connect yourself to that feeling every now and then yeah man you ever gotten high on mushrooms and looked at yourself this is turning into yes i have like really in the mirror yeah i've been like really like just like me like walking away slowly like you're very clever yeah just not like not, like, not looking away.

No, just really looking into my soul. I remember very clearly being, like, eight years old and looking at myself in the mirror. Like, I wonder what I'm going to look like when I'm older. And, like, trying to figure out, like, forecast where my face was going to go. And then being on mushrooms at, like, the age of, like, 31 and being like, oh. Okay. Yeah yeah there you are i see you oh yeah i saw the other day max was laying in her crib and uh i just peeked in to see if she was asleep and she was looking at her hands like i imagined somebody would if they were

on mushrooms she was just laying down just going like just looking at her fingers yeah it was nuts because i'm sure she's in her mind just like what the fuck are these things right i mean she just got them right yeah it's just so cool to see her i've only seen it twice but she's like just moving them around like you would if you were just you know of like a robot that just got a body or something yeah no discovering your body is exciting yeah yeah We're about to discover Lance Bang's first pick. I'm just excited about 2022. I think that a lot of people,

definitely myself, are at a stage of like, alright, let's just get the things done that need to get done or experienced in your life and stop putting things off and stop imagining that something might work out five years from now. Like just go have that experience.

I'm definitely in that mode and it's been great. And feel more connected to people and friends. And I've been hearing more from people from all across my life, kind of reaching out or reconnecting or finding people. And the friends that you know have gone quiet because they're struggling or they're going through things, like being more assertively like, no, no, no, you're not going to blow off this text message like I'm going to keep calling it on the fourth time you're going to pick up and we're going to hear what you're dealing with and help you out and if I need to drive out there and come visit I'll drive out

there and come visit I love that be like more assertive about friendships yeah man that's really good yeah it's a really good one and it you know you touched on it but i am one of the biggest culprits i know as far as oh it'll it'll work out or or like i'm scared to send an email or whatever just you know thinking things will just work out it's nice it's nice just to be proactive with that stuff and be like no i'm gonna make it work out it's also nice to find out what's going on with somebody like like you said putting in that extra effort and being like no let's just like right now what's up and then we could be okay or whatever that's yeah feels so so good dude i haven't seen one of my best friends in the whole world for like three years maybe like maybe more

this guy my my friend graham wickland who like, who I've known since seventh grade and has been like one of my best, like Sean, you've met him, David. I don't know if you have. Yeah. And like, I,

I, I love him. And like, it just like, we, we, we like went to different parties, you know what I mean?

Like, like we hit that part of life where we went to different parties and like this year, shout out to, I don't know if Graham listens, I think sometimes, but like uh finally like i was like what the fuck am i doing this is like one of like one of the best

people i've ever known in my life and i was like dude we finally got a like and now we've been like texting a bunch and we're finally gonna hang out again and stuff like that and no no there was no grand schism there was no like us yelling at each other. It was just like the slow drift apart. And like Lance, I think going back to what you're saying, where it's like, Oh, this will work out.

This will happen. It's like, not if you don't go do it. Yeah. Yeah. Not if you don't like actually get on top of that shit. And like, probably maybe it's something about like what's been going on with the world

and like everyone being forced to realize how finite everything is and how fast everything can change but like i've been on that where i've been like i gotta reconnect with these people who i really like who really matter to me totally yeah whatever obstacles be damned it's like the best thing love is like the best thing yeah we're really we're really reinventing the wheel here guys no but it's like i think it is an important thing yeah whatever people need to hear this shit because it's it's shocking the amount of people that don't they're they like they'll say they'll agree or whatever but like they don't they don't they're not proactive about this stuff that existence that everyone was in in 2019 does not exist anymore yeah you know it's like i like it because it's like i can never be as not in a bad way just

like it changed what the idea of even being career driven is yeah oh yeah like 2019 was like i gotta figure out how to make some more money now it's just like i don't know man i just want to do stuff i like with people i like and i'm just trying to you know yeah go ahead goals you still got goals and like you still want to do things but it does it put a little more importance on like what those goals were gonna get you you know like yeah like good positive stuff in your life here i sit here i sit with a pretty good attitude though having it so it's like it's possible that's true never forget sean is the one who got it no one else did gold stars all around i mean i didn't need to feel worse about myself but here i go tune in

next week for one with a couple of those charity green stars i am very like my family i'm like very lucky like i have i have three siblings everyone's in like a really good place with wonderful partners and like with like good jobs and like and like we're we're very we're like very lucky my family is very lucky they're a big wonderful family and people have like asked like oh you know like not everybody's lucky to have a close family like that and i'm aware of that and like people have been like how's your family so close have like asked me that kind of thing and like i've always i've taken it for granted for the longest time and i was talking to my mom about it like at some point in the last couple months you know what i mean and like she's like it's it's it's because we show up and i yeah that's and that feels like a very like flippant easy thing to

say but it's like we show up and then i think back and like everything in my family and it's like when i shot the pilot for the upside down in la my whole family flew down and they were there they surprised me that day and like when somebody's having like a big birthday i fly up like i we you don't miss shit it's just been ingrained in us and like i really think that's like the secret sauce to my family being close and having each other's back is just like we show up and that's like what it really is about it's so easy to not show up and like i'm just staying in tonight or whatever and i've certainly been guilty of it you know like a lot and like i've been like no showing it you know like a lot and like i've been like no showing up it's like it kind of is the most important thing is just showing up

sure yeah my friends i'm my family not so much but yeah my immediate family sure my mom and of course but like my extended family no but my friends have always showed up for me and i'll always show up for my friends there's never if it's within my means i'll do anything anything that i can even get covid start scream crying i got it for shane so you wouldn't feel so left out shane got it first remember yeah dude yeah well that's because bandanas don't work it's neither here nor there i'm just saying you can't rely on a gator you can't rely on a gator that's always that's all i've been doing yeah way before i've always been true that i can't rely on a gator. That's always been true to me. Yeah, way before. I've always been true to me. I can't rely on no gator. Yeah, my worst enemy went to Florida State.

Are they the Gators? No, they're the Seminoles. University of Florida. Man, I tried. I tried. Time for my first and second picks as to what I'm looking forward to in 2022. And these are the two things I am looking forward to the most in the year 2022. I'm going a little bit

less etheric with it my first pick is going to be september 4th in los angeles yeah i get to put a ring on it with dana schwartz my wife oh yeah that's the number one thing i'm looking forward to there's nothing more you had to pick that first yeah totally insane if you didn't i get to i get to i get to get married which is a thing i always assumed would happen about myself from the age of like 22 i'm like yeah you get married the same way like when you go to a decent high school or you're like yeah you go to college you know what i mean like that kind of thing like i was like i'll get married and then the years slowly ticked by the pages flew off the calendar relationships you were doing stuff i was doing stuff but figuring things out stuff and have relationships and i was like oh this one you

know what i mean it was like here's a six month relationship and then a three month relationship oh this one's a year this one's a year and a half this one's oh we're back to three months you know what i mean like the they like all this stuff kind of happened and as i got older bit by bit by bit i'm like fuck maybe i'm not gonna get married maybe i'm not like maybe that's not gonna be a thing that happens for me or maybe it'll happen later in life that kind of you know but like i want to have a family and stuff like that and it like got if it started to get it's like the saying it's later than you think you know and then on this podcast i met dana i met dana schwartz and like and then it felt right

in a way that relationship has never felt right before kind of the way when i did comedy for the first time where like i knew immediately where like it clicked in this way where i was like oh shit okay this feels different oh like it was like a load off your mind that's how comedy felt for me like yeah oh thank god it felt like it like a key finally fitting into a lock kind of thing where i'm like oh my god like it happened pg-13 it felt like a uh married key finally a lock that i can fit i got a big ass key i got that weird jagged sort of key that goes off to the left a little bit. Like hooks to the left. Before they started laser cutting them, you know. It's got a skeleton at the

head of it. My key curves to the left. But it was, it was just like, oh shit. Like the, how effortless it was and how, and how important it felt immediately. I was like, oh shit. Like, andless it was and how and how like important it felt immediately i was like oh shit like and now i finally get to marry that person and i'm like i'm like i can't believe it's happening i needed to get to a place in my life where i was ready for it uh and i'm

right and i'm ready for it and thank god she is too and on september 4th we get to have a party with a bunch of our friends including the three of you. And like just invite all these people we love and just like and have this awesome party with amazing food. And just like. Is there going to be a chocolate fountain or should I bring my own? You should bring your own chocolate fountain. But there will be no shortage of sweet treats. I'll tell you that. I'm looking.

I'm trying to get married. And heat meats, dude. You know what I'm talking about. You might. You might meet the next Mrs. David Borey at that party.'s not let's not all right i got shit to do okay i'm just saying dude uh there's gonna be sweet treats and heat meats dude it's a it's a dairy queen you're getting married at dairy queen you're gonna have a party full of people who wish you nothing but the best and that's rare and i'm just i can't wait i'm so excited i'm already putting together a playlist for it uh and just like that's my number one pick my number two pick is uh a few

months before that one of my best friends in the entire world i can't believe this is the thing i'm looking forward to the second most in 2022 yeah he's trying to i will address it after you say i'm going back to back. I get to put on a suit and officiate the wedding of one of my best friends in the whole world, Sean Patrick Jordan. You picked grilling first. Now, here we go. Here's why.

Because it's been so long, and we bought a house. We had a kid. It almost seems like that is just a barbecue that we're going to honestly maybe not the best way to think about that we've talked about it we've both talked about it like that it's we sat down the other night this is basically gonna be a barbecue exact exact words the other night we were sitting i was like we gotta we have to invite people and she's like yeah let's just let's just do. Let's just get it done. We haven't even sent out invites yet. It's in four months. So, yeah. I'm looking

forward to it. But at this point, it's just the easiest of the big things that we've already done. So it's different. But trust me, I'm thrilled. Well, I can't wait. In fact, it's the second thing I'm looking forward to the most. And it would be number one if I weren't getting married this. Well, I can't wait. In fact, it's the second thing I'm looking forward to the most. And it would be number one if I weren't getting married this year myself.

I can't wait to fucking stand up there and watch you, especially knowing everything that you and Laura have gone through as a couple. All the, I don't mean to lead with struggles, but all the struggles and difficulties that like i moved away for four years you moved away for four years and like maintain this relationship and like i i am so excited to watch i mean like obviously you've consummated this i don't even mean sexually i mean obviously you've sanctified and consummated this relationship you know what i'm talking about in so many different ways but to watch you put a suit

on and watch laura put a dress on and have maxine your daughter there and knowing that like you have that house to go back to i can't fucking wait i might cry and i don't really i cry to my little sister's wedding and i think i'll cry at this wedding and i'll cry at my wedding i'll probably tear up at both of them yeah you think you're gonna cry at yours i think i'll cry at mine yeah of course during or post yeah sam t made it like five minutes in really i walked out and he started crying before his wife was anywhere to be i have a theory that i'll be crying the whole time my my only goal is to get my vows out because I want her to hear the words that I have to say in the right way. And I want everyone. Everyone deserves to hear what I want to say about her and just about everyone that's going to be there and how appreciative I am and how I'm almost crying right now.

My goal is to get those out. The whole rest of it will be a mess. Have you thought about wrapping your vows? I have thought about trying to make a little song so I could memorize them so it was easier. I have thought about that. Oh, you're not going to use notes? No, hopefully, no.

Who knows? I don't know the rules. I have a backup plan of like, this sounds so corny, but a part of me is going to record it and then if I can't talk, I'm going to play it on a screen i can't talk i'm going to play it like on a screen but that's such a that's the last ditch option i just everybody deserves to hear the words do you need

somebody in the audience with cue cards like when you do a late night set because i got you i need somebody who's prepared to say speak for me we might need a designated hitter david yeah i won't be able to talk i came in as a d D.H. on this wedding. Yeah. What Sean would like to say. Yeah. I'll just be sitting there like, tell him, hand on your shoulder, looking at the ground. Tell him what I wrote. Read the

words on the page. Hey, girl! That's how it started. I wanted to take it because I thought it was outlandish that you didn't take it, is one of the reasons. No, but grilling. but grilling but grilling dude but the main reason is i can't i really can't wait i'm so excited for it i love you so much look at the journey i love you too but look at the look at the journey like it i know we've talked about it it started at dante of all the horrible bars in this town yeah it started at dante's during the daytime during a contest in 2010 and uh look at

you know it's crazy yeah it's crazy i'm gonna and you know what i'm gonna fucking step in i'm gonna marry you that day dude you keep this if you keep this talk up and it's gonna end at dante's dude battle axe dude we're gonna have a kumite Kumite at Dante's. Lance, it's time for your second pick. My second pick for 2022 things I'm looking forward to is September 4th of 2022

when I'll be turning 50 years old in Los Angeles at the wedding of... Oh! Really? You are not serious. Really?

So we're going to have a party on the 3rd, which is a Saturday night of that weekend in LA. And it seems like it's going to overlap well with what you have going on. Yeah. We're going to go. And it's going to overlap with my pick.

I think this is all going to work out. Yeah. Well, what's your pick going to be? I can't wait. Oh, no. My pick was the legalization of mushrooms.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to be going rehearsal dinner to Lance Baines' 50th birthday. That's a bang-bang for me. Yeah. I'm calling my shot now. I'm getting a nice hotel. Are you going to be at the Chateau?

Yeah. Have you stayed at all the rooms yet? I have, but the problem is that there's some ethical problems with the owner of the Chateau and that people are currently boycotting because of the labor practices there. Oh, no. So if that person is still the owner and still mistreating the, uh, fired employees,

I can't stay there. But if, uh, if that's been resolved in any way that's helpful or positive to the workers, then, then that's my place that I'll be. The only time I've ever been there was to meet you.

I've only ever been there to hang out with you two. When I was driving there, I was like, this is wild because it was earlier in LA and I was like, I'm doing a pretty LA-ass thing right now. I'm going to the Chateau for a meeting. It was sick. We went for a swim in that pool there, Lance.

That was awesome. I'll free you there. That's great. We went for a swim in that pool there, Lance. Yeah, I had a preview there. That's great. Wow. Yeah, we recorded a video in the John Belushi room and then went for a swim in the pool. One of the great pool experiences of my life. It was so nice. That was a great conversation, too. Yeah, that was really fun.

Yeah, it was. Man. And David, I think you helped out or know something about like a long term thing for me there right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah cool yeah and then a couple other times it was just me and jesse and then just me a few times yeah that's rad man the chateau dude what do you do you have do you have any plans for the birthday yet that's amazing yeah like you know typically in on like when i turned 40 10 years ago i i had a like, you know, typically, when I turned 40, 10 years ago, I had a performance

that, you know, I think a lot of great comedians and artists and musicians all kind of like came out and we showed films and had live stand-up and I think Tenacious D reunited and performed.

Like, you know, just a lot of good times for people and I think we'll probably line up something similar for the 50th. Amazing. What kind of snacks?

Are we going to have a vegetarian and some protein? Both lined up? Yeah, you got to look out for everybody's energy levels. Should I bring David's chocolate fountain? Or are you going to have one? Keep them all healthy. I'll bring my own chocolate fountain.

Thank you. I'm going to be drumming all the next day. So I'm going to need, you know, drumming nervously on my fucking desk. Oh yeah, protein. Protein, dude. What part of town are you hoping to have everything that you're doing happen, Ian? Wilshire. Yeah, greatan wilshire yeah great yeah yeah oh so this is gonna be like we're gonna be in la la you're gonna have your birthday party in west covina right

so it can be scary he loves the coco yeah uh oh man i can't wait yeah so i'm looking forward to that weekend that's great that fucking weekend's gonna be amazing what a weekend of love and celebration yeah david boring time for your second pick it's gonna go down uh my second pick is gonna go down okay yeah you know what my second pick is one that is very personal, a lot less personal than the California thing. I am, for the first time, I don't know if it's a special, or I got like a deal, whatever.

I'm recording my first body of stand-up to put out into the world that's like unedited, like, it's no disrespect to the other things that I've done, but they're know they're a little more curated and a little more whatever yeah this is the first time i'm putting out a project that is just like all me and all and not really there's no parameters on it lance has seen the beginnings of it and i think it's pretty good and i'm really proud of it and it's like you know feels like the culmination of 12 years worth of work can you tell us anything about it is there a date on this

that i can put in my calendar so i don't have anything no because we were gonna do we were gonna do first quarter but then everything starts gets getting pushed back so nothing like eminent and it's like and it's like is it just an album are we trying to record you know what i mean there's a lot of oh i don't think it's just an album if you let me get involved i know that's what i was i wasn't gonna i didn't want to say it but yeah i think lance wants to record it so i you know we're setting it up but it's i'm really excited i just you haven't even done an album yet that's crazy i haven't done anything i've done like the half hour and then i've done a bunch of tv sets this is gonna fucking be such a it's gonna hit dude yeah

and like i don't even know like i mean what i mean by that is like you're so good at comedy it's just gonna with people i don't know what hit means anymore but people are gonna fucking love this yeah i mean i don't even care if it's like a sick i just want to have for so long it's just like you want to be able to have at least one where it's like that was all me and that you know what i mean and i think that i'm in a good place as far as my performing right now so i'm i'm i'm really excited to be able to do it and i've never had an opportunity to like do it in the way that i wanted so i'm i'm really hyped about it i will be there i don't even know where it's gonna be yet yet, but yeah, of course, everybody will be there.

Well, Sioux Falls. What are you talking about? Yeah, I'm going to do it at the Sky Force Stadium. At the Denny Sanford Premier Center in Sioux Falls, where everybody does their shit. You're doing it at McGoovy's on a Friday

before their usual Friday shows, right? But Kip, see you, bro. Then I'm shooting pickups at Governor's. Yeah, you have to.

Levittown, right? I can't wait for this. Most there's a lot i put out my first album for five years into doing stand-up you you got like a fucking i don't know clip dude i don't know how i missed it i was just i guess doing others because yeah everybody did yeah so many of my friends were always putting out albums and putting out projects and it just never felt like the right time or whatever for me so like feels like feels like my time so i'm really really yeah not to be okay i'm really excited no that's dank dude hell yeah sean jordan time for your second and third picks now your

wedding is off the table i want to i just want to bring that up i mean it's gotta be so it's grilling so i don't know what else it would not be an episode of this show if something like that didn't happen. So that's ultimately maybe I'm the smart one who facilitates that. You never know. You sure fooled us. From downtown. Damn it, Lance. Damn it, Lance.

I got you. You tricked us. I don't even know you had the ball it's because you were on the sidelines doing splits all right you were on the sidelines with a fucking traeger dude that's what you you were you weren't even watching the game who needs protein get over here all right fine so my my second pick is celebrating my daughter's first birthday yeah it's pretty wild when um like i i think about you know she was born on 69 so she's born on 69 so that means the whole most of my year last year was being nervous about

becoming a parent and then thrust into being a parent and having a brand new baby, which is not for me, not like what anybody has told me it was going to be like. It was magical, but it wasn't this magical in the sense of there's nothing easy about it. The hardest thing I've ever done, absolute hardest thing I've ever done. Absolute hardest thing I've ever done. I rethought a lot of decisions I made just like, is this right? Did I do it right? Now that we're coming out on the other side of it a little bit, she's manageable. She sleeps. She smiles and laughs. She gives you a little something. So now it's different where I'm like, cool, you put your time in. You have a newborn, which is damn near impossible but you do it all my fucking idiot friends have done it so i can do it so it's like you do that and now you have

a baby a child who you can celebrate a birthday with and like i don't know it's just it's a whole it's a whole thing that i just can't wait i can't wait for are you gonna do any little birthday traditions you know those like well she's gonna have a quinceanera every year okay that's gonna be the tradition i start is it's gonna be her first quinceanera this year yeah next year will be her second quinceanera so yeah bouncy castle and all that i don't know what we're gonna do uh i yeah i don't know probably i think stuff just kind of figure itself out i guess that first birthday is really for you and laura you know what i mean it doesn't really start being her birthday until around four it is just like just like christmas was where it's like

she didn't know what was going on and and dude first birthdays can be anything my first birthday primarily korean women yeah yeah really yeah yeah my mom's friends right yeah she's an esl in college so it's all this current So it's, yeah. I just, I think about, I think about where I was and where my mom was on my first birthday and like what that would have been like for her. And like, sure, it was her kid's first birthday. I'm sure it was magical, but she didn't have any stability. She was so young.

We didn't have a house. Like we live somewhere. I'm not saying that, but we didn't like, you know it was just nothing was stable nothing was certain nothing was for sure and i can look at maxine and i can know that she has a place to live i can know that she at least we have something right now that is ours and like we can give to her and you know it's like i can david bori now i gotta Now I got to say something funny. No, I'm serious. It's like, it's just, it's,

I can sit back and look on her birthday and think about how she's like safe-ish, you know, and like we're doing what we should be doing. And it's just, that's, to me, that's her first birthday is being like sick. We did, you know, you got a year in and I'm thrilled about it. Lance, you were the only one here with kids.

Have you done any any had any fun like birthdays for your kids yeah it's been great yeah just sort of like trying to set things up for what they want to do you know at different ages their interests are different and so there'd be times that like

you know there'd be like a airsoft battle that my son wanted to do with friends or this thing called the tumble bus which is like a hollowed out school bus where they've padded all the ceiling and the sides and the floor. And they put in different springs and trampolines. So it's like getting to go nuts inside a school bus. And you're bouncing off of a trampoline hitting the roof of the school bus, but it's padded. But it's like a place you're normally told you have to kind of be seated and not yelling whatever.

You're just like flying around and hitting surfaces. And you mean to tell me this kid went and had his chin tore open doing BJJ? Exactly. Your airsoft tumble bus kid? Yep. My daughter's very social, but also into making things. So we'll like, you know,

rent out an art space where they can all have some pottery project or make something or she wanted to go pet llamas one year. So we found a place out on the, you know, Western side of Oregon that had alpacas that you could go kind of chill with and take photos and pet and rub on and just, you know, whatever,

whatever niche interest they kind of develop at that time like just going heavy into making that happen for them that's good advice I think yeah I don't know man I'm what I'm finding out is it just kind of all you just do it so her birthday will roll around Sean you should do a hands themed birthday dude since Max seems

to be really into hands just like yeah yeah definitely like you know, make some impression print things of her hand at different ages. Like that's a good thing to be able to show a kid. Totally. Oh shit, yeah.

Like here's when you were six months. Here's when you were nine months. Here's when you were 12 months. Just the scale of everything as it grows. And then you get Shaq to do one for her fifth birthday. We're like, we don't know what happened. And certainly like, you know, any iPhone photo you can take of her hand

and your hand is something you'll both want to look back at at some point in the future. I'll have Shaq do the first one and be like, that's you when you were born. And here's you on your fifth, on your first birthday. You're a weird kid. Maxine's first birthday. I can't wait. I'm going to buy her. I'm going to buy her an airsoft gun

inspired by lance i'm gonna buy her a gun gun yeah she's gonna say she's gotta be ready man what are you ivan carmel i'm gonna get it and your third pick third pick is another thing that i did not get to do last summer or like for the bulk of last year uh and that i fell in love with so hard again over over covid is skating i can't wait to actually start skating again when it gets nice out because i did not i can't man i it's so i naively thought that i would be able to with a child i'm like you can still get out i'll still be able to do it like four times a week. And I bet I skate now once every two weeks, maybe for an hour or two.

And I'm not that good right now, which is tough because I sound like a dick, but I got really good again. And I'm not ready to be bad. So I'm very excited now that she's manageable to go skating and keep on that train, keep skateboarding, keep doing what I love to do to go

in with that like i just want to do that's what i want to do i want to skateboard i want to raise this kid and i want to do this podcast pretty simple stuff that's that's what i want to do that's great pick yeah thanks yeah that's it nothing nothing too crazy to say about it i just for me that is what i'm looking forward to this year. Grilling, skating, and raising. Do you have time for your third pick? So my third pick was born out of, I don't know if you guys heard, I just went to France.

No big deal. Oui, oui. I am French. No, after going to Europe and seeing it and just being like. I am Queens Boulevard, so I get it. Yeah, it's similar. And just seeing it and just being like i am queens boulevard so i get it yeah this is similar uh and just seeing it and realizing like lance was talking about where it's like it's now is the time to just go i'm gonna i'm gonna try to either go to south america or asia this year oh yeah most likely in december again like when stuff is like all down but i i was just

like i want to see all the continents before. You got to do it, man. I've never been. And who knows? Maybe they'll stop giving me money after this year. So after the special comes out, dude,

and they realize that you've taken, you've taken a very weird turn. Yeah. I might get blackballed for my views on karate, how it's more punches and Taekwondo is more kicks. Yeah, you heard the karate bit. Oh, man. That's when I knew it was time to shoot the hour.

He's ready. Karate bits. No, I think that it's going to be a good year. And I was just, I'm thinking maybe like Tokyo. Oh, I want to go to Tokyo so bad. I kind of want to go to tokyo so bad i kind of want to go to bangkok i or you know whatever just i want to go to see asia or south america let's do a live afe in tokyo for a group of people who have no interest in seeing what we have any japanese listeners if we go to australia

oh yeah it's just like a then it's just a pop-up let's it's it's a long pop it's a closer it's just a pop-up. Let's. It's a long pop. It's a closer. It's a reason. We're already over there. It's a closer pop than here. We're already over there. Let's. Yeah. I mean, here.

Let's just do it. I mean, I know, like, whatever. Maybe 10 people will show up to the show. Maybe 100. But let's just do it. I think we could do pretty good in. In Melbourne? Yeah.

Because everybody goes to Australia. But then we would be there. Then we would be there and be sick regardless yeah i'm down to like this is what i learned about travel too i'm down to spend it all i will just spend a bunch of money to go see a new country i don't give a yeah i've never been any i've been to vancouver and tijuana and costa rica i guess but like you know i've never been across an ocean. I have to do that. I'm trying to get to Asia.

So if you're in... Australia is also a different continent. Let's drive, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oceania. I know that, David. I knew that.

No, I was saying it to remind myself. I knew it was a continent. But yeah, I want to go see... I want to go see some other people getting weird yeah eat some strange regional food you know what i mean have have odd poops for two weeks absolutely some four stars did you have some odd poops in europe they were not what i'm accustomed to know yeah it's really weird how little it takes to disrupt that ecosystem yeah did they not come out of your mind's mind for me i was like oh

maybe it's because there's no gmos and stuff i don't know but it was just i'm not gonna you know i'm not gonna put it on a plate and sniff it to see if i have covid but yeah they're different than they usually are lance you've traveled the world where have you had the weirdest poops say it was like in LA or something. Yeah, I don't know. I think I've been pretty normal the whole way through. Good for you, man. Good for you.

Mom on the poops, but it is time for your third pick. I have been trying to badger the three of you into doing some kind of all fantasy everything stand-up special where we don't burn the the hour material but we do you know like a 15-20 minute chunk

from each person and make something that people would love to watch and make it available I'm all for it I like that Lance is on here calling it shot yeah I love it dude please is this a tangential or are you calling your shot is this a pick yeah this will be like a third.

Yeah. Oh shit. Okay. Yeah. You have pitched it before for sure. I will. I, I I'll turn the key right now.

I'm in. Let's go. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. And I have, I have, I have,

well, I'm now Sean's agent. So, you know, just, yeah, that's another thing. VCC me on those emails.

I don't have any people. I'm the only one I got to ask. It's just me. I don't have any managers or'm the only one i gotta ask it's just me i don't have any managers or anything trust me that's tight shot and we're shooting it in the heart we're shooting in the harajuku district i mean conceptually that's kind of fun right just a bunch of like foreign language instructors yeah expats expats yeah dude like two baseball players my biggest fantasy is to take on japan you know if we do that i won't have to sit on the floor anymore which would be tight because i'm on the floor right now get some of that chair money yeah i'm in the corner by the way too so it's like i'm tucked away it looks like you're hiding like you don't want your stepdad to come i know like i don't just don't want to know i'm recording yeah no that'd be that'd be ill dude that'd be ill man you guys

just got me juiced for this whole i didn't this is it's easy to get uh scared and it's easy to be uh in a bad mindset and everything but if you try i don't know there's good things there's positive things you just have to you just have to do it now i'm talking about something different but i just this is getting me really excited just seeing the three of you and talking about this stuff and it can be the world is a good place and it can be a good place you just have to find it i love that i love that you know what i mean and what you're gonna find is the three of us doing stand-up somewhere in the next year dude yeah let's make a special man let's fucking do it sick yeah that would be a lot of fun and i like fun that's coming from a guy who likes fun

this is a fun guy yeah yeah and also a fun aficionado i would say oh yeah i've shot i've shot fireworks on atvs i know how to have a good time. Yeah. I've shot fireworks at one of my other best friends. Yeah. That's also a good time. Roman candle fight. Yeah. Yeah. Anybody get freaked out that you don't have scars from things like that? Yeah. It's weird. Dude. I remember Roman. I fought me and my buddy Nick. We're having a Roman candle fight. We're having a Roman candle fight. Really? I'm five feet from Nick and I and i i hit him i swear i hit him in the face enough to where he dropped his roman candle and he rushed me to fight because we got a little too serious with the roman candle fight and i was like in my mind i'm like i burned his face it

there's i do not know how his face came out intact but he you know he wrestled me and i talked him off the ledge and then we looked at his face and started laughing. We're like, so that was probably the last Roman Candle fight we had. Because it turned into a fight pretty quick and it was Buck. Time for my third pick. And with my third pick, I'm going to take, I'm going to leave the personal for a moment, although I will find this very personally exciting. And I'm going to take the theatrical release of Top Gun Maverick.

Shit! I was going to pick that. Oh, were you going to pick that? You were going to pick that as your wedding, but you took grilling. I wasn't going to pick my wedding. I never said I was going to pick my wedding. So number six on the list? Yeah, where was that coming in?

Your list is draining them from downtown on your ass. You got to play some defense, Sean. It was number five if I'm looking at the list, but I don't have them ranked ever. I don't rank them. I just write them down and then crap. I can't believe. Dang it. You're right. You're right. I can't fucking wait.

I saw two movies in theaters this last year. I will see more this year, including the aforementioned. I assume we're not taking the movie we've talked about already before this because it's the central theme. I don't think so. What is it? J4E? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course. I'll go in a fucking hazmat suit. You know what I mean? I can't wait to see that. I do want to talk about it if we, yeah, yeah. Of course. I mean, we can't take it because we talk about it. I'll go in a fucking hazmat suit. You know what I mean? Like, I can't wait to see that. I mean, I do want to talk about it if we can, but yeah. Oh, should we talk about it now? Sure. Let's talk about it.

Let's throw it in now, too. I don't think I have had a better experience watching a movie in a room with other people than I have with all of the Jackass movies. I can't. I'm so fucking excited for Jackass forever. I can't. I have with all of the jackass movies. I'm so fucking excited for Jackass Forever. I'm getting hyped watching the trailers. Me too. We had parties where, because it was the first

skate, I mean, you know, there's movies about skateboarding, but this was the first like, this is a skateboard movie to us. And we would have parties with like 30 people and just, it was amazing because we got to because they would sneak all these pro skaters in there so it's cool you get to see a pro skater not skating you just get to be like there's rune glifberg you're like that's wild to me

they're participating and uh yeah it's i and it's the sense of humor the big hand is still i just we just yeah i bet i watched that i probably not trying to probably once a month i watched that and just lose my mind every time we took it like two early in an early very recent episode right yeah we just were talking it definitely came up i mean it's i i'm so excited and it's sick that it it's happening i just can't believe it's happening it's fine okay again i feel like, because we're friends now. It's why I feel weird saying like this. It's so fucking, like, when I first met you, I was like, fucking, fucking jackass.

Oh, yeah, dude. I was like, fucking. You probably did it to me where I was like, I know who that is. Yeah. Yeah. Wild thing. It was fucking crazy, man. You were like, it was like seeing, it was like seeing fucking Michael Jordan for me.

It was like this, like, I was was like because that was such an important part and remains the funniest thing i've ever fucking seen in my life i'm so stoked to see it i know anyone who listens to this is gonna go see it and they're so excited to see it and the fact that it was so poor like so much of it was so portland-centric like for me like and like i'm like that's hippo hardware oh dude when i moved to portland when i think you showed me that where you're like that's where he took a dump in the toilet right there on burnside yeah and like the urban kayaking and stuff like that i feel like some of that happened in portland and like just like no just being like oh shit and then like you'd see uh oh my god i'm blanking on his name you'd see like jackass dudes like around

portland and shit like they'd be hanging out you'd'd see him at like Dante's or whatever. You know what I mean? Like that was so crazy to me. And to see, and this was pre all caps Portland. You know what I mean? When it became like this pop cultural phenomenon and like with so much shit hovering around it, like this was kind of before that for me anyway. And like growing up there, I was like, this is silly, but it was like when I,

as a Jew saw the Beastie Boys for the first time and I was like, oh, we can be cool. Like, we can be cool and, like, countercultural and, like, that's, like, a thing. And, like, seeing Portland portrayed like that, I was like, oh, we can be cool here, too. Like, if there's, like, a cool thing happening in the city, it was fucking so awesome for me. So I can't wait to see that. But we talked about it already. Top Gun Maverick.

I can't wait to see that but we talked about it already Top Gun Maverick I can't wait to fucking see that the last two movies I saw in theaters I saw Les Mis which was awesome or not Les Mis but West Side Story which was great to see in theaters because it was like this big fucking like theatrical like all this shit going on and Fast 9 and both

Jackass Forever and Top Gun are like I have to see this in the theater you should see it in 4xd yeah yeah lance i just i was gonna tell you i just saw spider-man in 4xd because the only other time i've ever saw it was when we saw uh when we see ghosts in the shell yeah i think so do you really yeah i took david to go see a 4xd movie and that was what they had. Yeah. Yeah. It was tight though. It was tight. I remembered it well enough to like,

I, my little brother was here and I was like, yeah, let's go see Spider-Man. That's where you're like, what's your favorite team? You're like, I just like watching football.

Yeah. I just want to see ghost in the shell. I just want to get squirted in the face. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, that's right. They look wind and water and all that shit,

right? It's amazing. It's amazing. Cartwheel, you and you and D bone just saw a saw a top or you said you watched Top Gun a couple nights ago. Dana had never seen Top Gun. She loved the first Top Gun. She'd never seen it.

Oh, man. How'd she like it? She really liked it. You kind of have to. She didn't. There were times when I had to call her back into the room because she was baking because as is her want. Right.

I was like, get back in the volleyball scene's about to happen like all that yeah when you watch someone you're like please please think it's as funny and as fun as i do yeah i watched her she watched the movie it was definitely one of those like uh situations i've seen part of top gun too because i was lucky enough on the thing we were shooting with tom cruise for him to like call us into his trailer and show us 15 minutes of it. It's fucking sick. I can't fucking believe it. Miles Teller's been kind of quiet for a minute.

That dude is a good actor. I'm excited. I'm excited to see what they did. To bounce back for a second, Lance, can you tell us anything about the new Jackass movie? Yeah, it's great. I'm really happy with how it came out. We started shooting it

in like late February beginning of March of 2020 we did some tests at the end of 2019 to make sure it was a good idea you know

I think that Knoxville and Spike and Jeff Tremaine who directs it are pretty protective about like we feel proud

of what we made in the past it's been 10 years since Jackass 3D and none of us would want to make something that wasn't good or didn't have the right feeling or camaraderie or if the guys weren't in the right space

personally camaraderie wise friendship wise it wouldn't happen but it just had started to feel like everyone was in that zone and they all had ideas of things to shoot and people were in good shape physically and mentally. And it just felt like the right time to kind of get the guys together and test and see what it felt like

and what it would feel like if we brought in... Because a lot of things we've done since then, like I made that show Loiter Squad that Jeff Tremaine produced and Dimitri, who shoots all the Jackass movies, you know, made that as well and got to know Jasper and Tyler and people like that from that and would feel like,

oh, like what if we shot something with some of these people that are not exactly our age, like slightly younger and more able to land a skate trick and not blow out their knee. Yeah. What's the energy or camaraderie like

if we bring some new people in that fit our world and like Eric Andre, people that are cool that get it and shake things up and shoot with them. What do we get from that? And shooting some test stuff, it just felt right away like,

oh, this works. It's not depressing to watch someone get hurt when they're slightly older it's still funny it's still them with their great laugh and their charisma and friendships and and camaraderie with each other and that's the thing that makes it so enjoyable and so watchable and so we were just like charged up after we shot the test footage and so we started the film and then that was that week in march of 2020 where everything changed like we kind of we got some great footage and some people went to the hospital.

And we were going to shoot the next thing outdoors in the rain. And it involved pranking the public with electricity. So it was like, it might rain. Let's just take a day to kind of chill out. We'll shoot that in a day or two. And then that was that week where all of a sudden, someone in the NBA is joking about it.

Oh, they have it. Yeah. Tom Cruise is on an island and he has it. So does his wife. That was when all that kind of went down and we shut everything down. And I kept thinking that within a couple weeks, we'd go back and resume. Of course. And because we can shoot outdoors, we can shoot in backyards, we can shoot where it's

just the guys not exposing anybody else yeah you know give up on the pranks and just shoot something essentially in like a backyard somewhere um and just took a bunch of time for it to all get worked out with paramount of like what's the responsible and safe way to do testing and sanitize things and it was you know sort of at the time when people thought that there might be more transmission over shared surfaces. And so kind of spraying every object down. If you walked away from your camera for a second, there were people in

biohazard shoots with spray containers of some kind of a concoction that would coat your camera and tripod and bag with some disinfectant. But we got through it. We kind of found ways to kind of like keep the energy right and shoot keep testing and

stay safe and healthy and got great footage and we had you know I think none of us knew what was going to happen in the fall we were you know we were hoping that in the 2021 in the summer that like maybe a higher percentage of everyone would

be in the clear or not at risk of the Delta variant and everything coming up. So the movie was ready that it could have been in theaters on October 22nd, which is the weekend that like Dune and French Dispatch and things like that were going to come out. And then pushed it to February 4th, thinking that would give more of a chance for people in the audience to not have the stress of the potential fall Delta variant spike going on. And I'll go see it.

Because these films really play great in a theater. Yeah, with strangers. I know it's sad, but you want to be with people that you don't really know. And you're like, how fun is this that we're all doing this together? Yep.

And seeing it massive and bright and colorful and large with the crazy sound mix, like all that kind of contributes to like the overpowering joy that you can experience in a theater setting for a movie like this. And that's something that was important to everybody. So, you know, out of a concern for safety,

it got pushed to February 4th. And the priority was still like to keep it a theatrical experience and not just have it pop up on like a streaming platform instead of in theaters. Yes. And so that's the goal. And hopefully people that are listening to this that are in parts of the country where it's safe to go into a theater and see the film projected.

That's like the best way to experience it. Yeah. Absolutely. We'll go. Yeah. All right. We'll fucking go. Yeah.

Cool. Yeah, man. I can't wait. It's funny when you bring up like i'm good for two probably i'll probably see twice yeah i just think about knoxville if you like from the eyebrows down johnny knoxville's like 20 it's just shocking how good looking that guy is but then you see gray hair and you're like okay i guess he can't be 20 but older we're older too you know what i mean it's like that's true i was like a kid when it was first on. Yeah, I sit on the floor now, man. I used to sit in chairs when I was a kid.

You believe that shit? Sean, I respect your commitment to getting this COVID out of the way so that there's no problem with you going to be in the theaters on the 4th. Amen. Exactly. Kiss and parties resume in five days, according to the CDC. So I'm here for it, playboy. We're going to get to my fourth pick right after this short

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And we're back. Welcome back to All Fans See Everything Already in Progress. We just took Top Gun Maverick as an excuse to talk about Jackass Forever in theaters everywhere February 4th. Time for my fourth pick. This is another personal one. And this is one I'm not going to hold her to. But my sweet, sweet mother,

Saint Sue Carmel, announced at a family dinner that i was not at that she will be retiring from nursing in october and i just can't wait for my mom to retire i'm very i'm very excited for that because i think with with a lot of people sometimes retiring means like you you start doing less and you like so you know, you slow down a little bit. I think with my mom who like works graveyard shift as an as a nurse in the maternity ward and answers texts very, very quickly, by the way, when one of her son's friends is losing his mind, she will talk them off the ledge quite quickly. Yeah. So man, she really helped me the other day.

I think this is going to be the start of an even more exciting chapter for St. Sue Carmel. I think it's going to lead to her doing like, let me, she's already like the consummate grandmother and like a wonder and like such a good friend and like family person. I think she,

and like, I just, I'm just very excited for what that's going to mean to see. I'm excited for her to not be working graveyard shift with a start, which starts soon. And then I'm excited to see just what she does with all this extra free time and everything. We've had like a lot of health scares in my family, like over the last year, in addition to this COVID thing happening all around us. So I just can't wait for St.

Sue Carmel to retire. Whatever it happens, whether it's this October or later, if you feel like you want to keep doing it, Mama, but since you put it on the calendar, I have to take it. I love you. St. Sue Carmel. She deserves it. Yeah, she really is a fantastic person, that Sue Carmel.

Lance, time for your fourth pick. Man, I got to say, we've already talked about so many things that may be excited about 2022. I, uh, I think the summer in general, like just knowing that I want to go swimming in more places is something that I'm looking forward to. Like we're in this mode of realization now about like quality of life and

simple pleasures and way to kind of like just enjoy being around other people and being alive and one of the things that I get a lot of joy from is like jumping into water different places and we're in Portland I'm physically in Portland right now in the kind of like it feels like a wet sponge is just being dripped on the back of your neck at all times

I don't like that I want to get back to the summer when I can just like be somewhere in Missouri visiting people and jump in a lake or a creek and go back to Athens Georgia and to the old swimming holes there and do that man shout out to swimming in the summertime

swimming in the summer forget about it life really feels like moments in between swimming dude like it's the best thing. I love fucking, especially non-typical places. I'm a big ocean swimmer.

I fucking love it. That's how I'll probably go out. I was going to walk out and call it, be like, I'm swimming till I can't. I also like that kind of tired you get from swimming all day. You know what I mean? When you like lay in bed and you're like,

man, all I did was just like swim and eat hot dogs today. What do you guys guys there was a day we all went to the coast and we it was one of our ocean days i think it was a day where sharpie where we found out that he's like amazing at volleyball and baseball and then he's an athlete we're just in the sun all day and then we all went to get like burritos and we all had like one corona yeah and we were just sitting there like man that was i feel perfect it's maybe the best i've ever felt perfect sun cooked and then just the way home was like real casual which i don't know i have a tough time being casual in los angeles traffic but we're all just like

kind of eyes half shut like i like we're just listening to sublime or something we're listening to reggae yeah yeah yeah uh it's It's the best. Is Athens, Georgia full of swimming holes? I've never been. There's a river called the Oconee River that goes through it. There's pools you can hop over fences of that are from student housing. Friends have ecologically perfect pools in their backyard with dragonflies and things like that. But the better thing is that in the surrounding areas, if you drive into more

rural, strange, spooky areas, there's old quarries that have been abandoned and filled in with water. And kind of like hopping no trespassing signs to go out to those, that's the REM night swimming type of settings of

those kind of places. I love going back that way and getting in water. I have photographs in my house that sometimes I'll forget that I have of like, oh yeah, that's like 1991 jumping from the top bank into this quarry and swimming.

Just kind of getting back there feels great. You guys mentioned that channel five thing in LA, like we were in water in this like pool and these guys are kind of young and they've, they're doing well with like Patreon and stuff like that. But I think they moved into a place and they have not had their first electric bill and they've been keeping it like a full size outdoor pool at like 108 degrees or whatever the top setting on the heater is.

And I, I loved it. I love being in that, but I, I worry for them when they get that first bill. That's going to be a big, that's going to be a big bill, dude.

I didn't know you could do that. So if you have a pool, it was like being in like a full size jacuzzi, basically you can. So if you have a pool, pardon my ignorance, you can control if you want to, if you're,

if you're whatever, you can make it that hot. They give you the option. I did not know that. Did you guys all know that? That you could change the heat on pools? I didn't know you could go that hot. I knew there's like heating coils that people design into the

basin walls of pools if they have the means. But I didn't know you could crank it up to like 100. No, I've been in warm pools. I've never been in a hot pool yeah yeah yeah i mean i you know some of those hotel pools they're like warm but not really where you're like i guess it's not cold so i'm gonna call it warm that's about to be a bill pullman dude that's gonna be a big bill dude yeah yeah william that's gonna be a william uh summer swimming amazing pick i can't wait to do it i can't wait david time for your fourth pick my fourth pick e i yeah i'd be remiss if i didn't uh pick it i'm i'm picking the 2022 olympics yeah all right the old the old winter winter

i like them just as much as the summer games, which is like weird because I know even less about it. But I, yeah, I just, I've talked about it 5 million times on this fucking show. I just love the Olympics. I love the world getting together under the guise of sport. It doesn't have to be the Olympics.

It could be the cup of nations. It could be the world cup, any of that shit. I guess the rider cup is pretty cool. I'm not into sailing, but any of that kind of thing, you're is pretty cool i'm not into sailing but any of that kind of thing you're into sailing you're talking about the america's cup rider is golf america's cup america's cup the thing about the winter olympics is that when i watch the summer

olympics i you know i can run i can't run like that but i can run i whatever the winter olympics i can't do anything that they do you can you can you you You can ski about as well as you can run compared to Usain Bolt, though. Yeah, that's true. I've never even had skis. I've never had skis on my feet. Me either. When you watch the Winter Olympics, you're like, I don't know. I don't know how it's happening.

I've tried to ice skate, but I can't ice skate. I've watched that skeleton and tried to really like put myself in that position. And I don't think there's anything scarier than that. Feet first, which I don't know why that feels even scarier. Head first, at least feels like you're like, all right,

I'm in control, but feet first is like fucking ape shit. Like if you're not sledding feet first, you're an asshole. Yeah. Cause feet first is like, I'm not in control of the situation. That's the default setting of i'm not in control it's so scary it is yeah that's yep ski jump also i'm like man i like that one that's the closest to flying dude yeah yeah you just got

to commit yeah and then they're just like you know i wish there was a way to try that knowing that like if we were Terminators, because I just want to see what it looks like when someone tries that, when they have no idea what they're doing, because they make it look so reasonable where you're like, oh, of course that's what happens when you go off that giant jump. And it is not what happens. I got to, you know, sorry to keep bringing it back to Jackass, but for the end of the first Jackass movie, all through the second Jackass movie, and then even into the third Jackass movie, Knoxville's big thing

that he wanted to go film was, he's not a coordinated guy at that time. He has no experience skiing. He wanted to go down an Olympic ski jump. Like that Agony Defeat clip that used to be on. Yeah. He wanted to just kind of get that footage. And everyone was like, we can't, you can't do that. It's just, there's no way that you're gonna softly land on the on the hill it's just not gonna happen no that would be tough trying to talk someone out to be like we'll let you do almost anything and also just someone from like johnny knoxville who shot himself point blank you know it's like this might not be funny the guy's done just about everything.

And to still be like, you shouldn't. There's almost no way out of this one. Like you can't even odds make it the right way. Ski jump. It's less a sport, more of an escape. Like, yeah. Yeah, you're flying for a little bit. John Jordan, time for your fourth and then your final lightning round pick.

OK, pretty low stakes. Fourth, I'm going movies. This is my second choice, but I'm really excited for it. a little bit sean jordan time for your fourth and then your final lightning round pick okay pretty low stakes fourth i'm going movies uh this is my second choice but i'm really excited for it i'm gonna pick the batman oh yeah i'm oh yeah real real excited to see what paul dano does with the riddler paul dano is a weird little guy and uh i don't think he's little no i'm just saying he's you know he's a weird guy ben like the riddler looks like they're doing a Bane thing almost, kind of where it's like half gas mask face or something. I don't know. I'm stoked.

And Colin Farrell is the Penguin. Yeah. He doesn't look a thing like the Penguin, like the Oswald Cobblepot Danny DeVito. So I'm really excited to see it. Yeah, I like Bob Pattinson too. Bob Pattinson's all right, man. He's great.

Well, after watching, what was that joint? Oh, the Safdie one? I forget the name of it right now. The bank robbery one where he... Oh, Good Time? Yeah, Good Times. Real dark in that. So you're like, okay, I can see him. And he looks like he doesn't even look like he's kind of a

friendly Bruce Wayne. He just looks like he's bummed all the time like Bruce Wayne should be. I thought you were going to take the Bateman here, which is about Justin Bateman, dude, solving all the crime. Joan Cusack and Justin Bateman in the same episode? Only on All Fantasy Everything. Out here. Live in.

Only on All Fantasy Everything. Yeah, I'm thrilled for the Batman. And then final pick, television. I'm really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi to come out on Disney. Oh, you'm really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi. Okay. To come out on Disney. Okay. Oh, you mean old Ben Kenobi? Old Ben Kenobi.

That's a name I haven't heard. I hope it's like the Mandalorian. I didn't look, but like is Favreau involved with Obi-Wan Kenobi? I assume he is because he's with Boba Fett and the Mandalorian. I think he's probably got his big meaty hands all over. Yeah. Those big meaty hands know what they're doing, man. Yeah, they have a lover's touch.

And I started watching Boba Fett, and I've never been terribly interested in Boba Fett or The Mandalorian, for that matter. The Mandalorian was great, but just that part of Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi, extremely interested in. So I'm excited to see the origin. I'm thrilled for that.

So yeah, there it is. Hell yeah. I have a question for all you'm thrilled for that. So, yeah. There it is. Hell yeah. I have a question for all you guys based on that. Have you guys read the Robert Pattinson GQ interview article? No. Is he nuts? No, I don't think I have. It's amazing. The levels of your appreciation for him are just going to exponentially

blow out. It's phenomenal. He's in isolation. Every idea that he has that he's focused on seems completely bonkers, but also compelling. And maybe there's something to it. Like, he just does not know how to function like a human being. And the interviewer is trying to be polite, but also is laughing at all the improbable ways he doesn't know how anything works in a kitchen.

He has all these plans for starting companies. It's, it's the most readable article you can imagine. Do you remember when he was on the press tour for like, like water for elephants or like one of those movies? And he just like made up a story about seeing a clown die in a circus when he was a kid, like in a fire.

And then they asked, like he told it on a late night show and then they, or he told it in an interview and then they asked him about it later and he was like oh i made that up because i just thought it would be more interesting than what i had to say god that's so gnarly i love it i love it boss sure i'll take it all make that be the batman gq article with robert pattinson please yeah okay track it down and read it a dispatch from isolation yep that's a good name for the last 60 episodes of this podcast yeah it really is do you have time for your final pick uh my final pick i am going to pick a tv show the hbo show about uh magic johnson yes i i read the pilot because

i got i auditioned for it did not get it but damn that show you're trying to be ac green right yeah i was trying to have a virgin oh it's not a documentary it's a show no it's like a it's like a tv show about time magic johnson's kind of rise to prominence apparently magic johnson is not psyched about it which makes me more psyched about it yeah dude and it's adam mckay so it's like you know it's gonna be good like ah man i'm really hyped for it's called winning time the rise of the lakers dynasty yeah i can't fucking wait dude which like can we talk about like what it should have been called showtime right showtime come on yeah why can't what is does somebody own that or something

showtime oh yeah that's all right but couldn't they call it famous famous competitor to hbo showtime it's a real who's on first situation couldn't they call it like the lake show or something i mean i i wish they had just gone with showtime yeah yeah just the book it's based on i think is called showtime yeah just do it you're hbo what are they gonna do yeah yeah wild that like mckay was willing to blow up his friendship with Will Ferrell. Is that what happened over that? I did not know that.

Is that Vanity Fair or GQ? I think that he talks about it. Originally, Will Ferrell was cast in it and it wasn't working out and they replaced him, I think, with John C. Reilly as Jerry Buss and they blew up i think with john c reilly as jerry buss and uh they blew up their friendship over and dissolved gary sanchez like their production company and all that shit

wow yeah dude it got heavy now i'm even more into it yeah david and i'll be using a showtime for the same thing for a change no it's on hbo oh oh i got you but i've seen you've been active on the showtime i have been i've been watching Dexter, man. I know. I saw. I saw. I was in there the other day. Throw a couple names out there, dude.

John C. Reilly as Jerry Buss. Adrian Brody as Pat Riley. Come on. Are you ready for this? Michael Chiklis as Red Auerbach, dude. Oh, my God. Bill Chiklis is in it? It's going to be so good.

I'm stuck on Adrian Brody. It's going to be so good. It's going to be so good. Youiklis is in it? It's going to be so good. Come on, I'm stuck on Adrian Brody. It's going to be so good. It's going to be so good. You know who else is in it? Wood Harris, dude. My man. You know how I feel about Wood Harris. Wood Harris, dude.

I talk about him all the time. Did you hear that, David? We just said the same thing, almost. As you were saying, you know how I feel about Wood Harris, I go, you know how David feels about Wood Harris. I love Wood Harris, man. Wood, if you're listening, I don't have anything, but let's go eat dinner.

Lance, time for your final pick. I'm just happy to be alive in 2022. I'm just enjoying getting up, running around, digging through things that I've made in the past and and finishing projects and talking to people and and finding new adventures and not holding back on anything it's just a unfettered no governor just get out there i fucking love it i'm gonna get covid i'm calling it now yeah i'm kidding i'm kidding gold star gold star my final pick uh since it's a lightning round and i don't have to get into it too much uh is james corden making a decision on this next

contract to his what's gonna happen i don't know but a huge chunk of my life depends on it and i'm extremely excited either way that's all i'll say right on good position to be in. Good position to be in. Yeah. Great position to be in. I'm feeling good about, I'm feeling good about the whole thing. I love that man. I love working for him and I, and I'll, and I'll, I'll love him no matter what. Uh, Sean Jordan, you, oh, wait, Mars, Marissa Melnick, do you have a pick? Uh, I'm repeating a pick simply because it's also my top thing I'm looking forward to in 2022. And that is both of your weddings. I don't leave my house often, so I'm so excited to go out and hang out with you guys and celebrate.

It's always so much fun. So yeah, that's what I'm looking forward to most this year. Fucking hyped to get Mars doing Beat Saber moves on the dance floor, dude. Yeah, dude. Hell yeah, I will be doing that. That is the only way I know how to dance now. Yes, this is good stuff. That is good stuff.

That is good stuff. It is. 2022, we're going to recap. Sean, you went first. Buying a grill and grilling. Biggest thing he's looking forward to. He's getting married and his daughter's turning one. That's right.

Speaking of John Turley, that's his second pick. And then skateboarding, the Bateman, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, the television program. David, you went second. You took California's mushroom legalization. David's doing a stand-up recording. Traveling. The 2022 Winter Olympics and winning time, The Rise of the Lakers, the Magic Johnson HBO show. Lance, you went third.

You took friendship and an active, living, striving sort of friendship where you go out of your way to care for one another uh your 50th birthday which is on september 4th party to happen on september 3rd uh the afe stand-up special which fucking speaking into existence and now we're gonna do it swimming in the summer and then just being alive just fucking getting your fingers all over just getting it into the fucking dough of 2022 and living, man. I fucking love it. I went last.

I took my wedding. Followed shortly thereafter by Sean's wedding. My third pick. Top Gun Maverick. Sue Carmel retiring. And then James Corden's contract decision. We left a lot of good shit on the board. Succession season four.

Father John Misty and Kendrick possibly having new albums, respectively. Atlanta. You see that halftime show coming up. Yeah, that's amazing. Snoop M. Dre,

Mary J. Blige and Kendrick. I didn't even know. I want to see the Northman really bad. I can't believe it's only the third season of Atlanta. That's good. Yeah. It's nuts.

Oh yeah. Shout out to Jordan temples episode coming out of Atlanta that he wrote. I'm super excited for that too. I have to go to brunch right now because it is Dana's continuing birthday celebration. Hey, happy birthday. I love her so much. Oh, go on. Please. Go to Faded

January 14th. Denver, Colorado. Faded Denver. Go to Faded Denver. We want to hear yours. Your picks. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Slackity. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to

Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Lance, did you know we end every episode with this from that Odd Future video that you're in taping? Yep. Yeah. And more fun than all of that. that tune in again next week to another brand new episode of all fantasy everything chicockity that was a hate gun podcast