All Fantasy Everything - Things We Miss From The Before Times (w/ Rhea Butcher, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

What's crackin, all fam!! Another week of quarantine brings another week of well wishes from the good vibes gang! We hope you're all staying safe out there. This week we are joined by the phenomenal Rhea Butcher as we draft "Things We Miss From The Before Times" This is hitting us all pretty hard so why not try and think about the fun time that we'll get back to sooner than later! Sending good vibes to you and yours! Episode Guest:Rhea Butcher @rheabutcher IG: @rheabutcher Podcast: Three SwingsSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. On today's episode of All Fantasy Everything, we draft things we miss from the before time, before we were all locked indoors. With Sean Jordan, David Borey, and our special guest, Rhea Butcher, who you know from Conan, who you know from their podcast, Three Swings, on the Forever Dog Network, and from so many other things.

I'm your host, Ian Carmel. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that has a new format at the beginning. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Right? The rest of it fairly similar, but a new intro at the beginning.

Yeah, boy. You should feel good about it. Yeah. Listen, sometimes you can't afford to buy a new car. You put a new hood ornament on there, you know? Dude, I just checked my credit score. I might could get a car. What do you think of that?

I mean, you could have. Your boy's got a decent credit score. And it's funny because Laura's told me she can hear me clear as day from the basement. So she can hear me talking about my credit score right now, I'm sure. Which is hilarious. Like, yeah, my fiance's downstairs bragging about his fair credit score. Because it's not good, mind you. It's fair. Credit, my fiance's downstairs bragging about his fair credit score. Because it's not good, mind you. It's fair.

Credit score's all contextual. You can lease a Hyundai Sonata. That's beautiful. Yeah, dude. Cars are going to be like 20 bucks in like a month. Exactly. I'm here for it. Where am I going to drive to?

Around the neighborhood. Who knows? Down the street. You could drive to a new place to skateboard so people don't see you uh getting furious you know you could drive to like camas the neighbor said the funniest shit the other day i was outside so she saw me try a trick for like an hour and a half the other day and then i came out a little earlier and she was walking her dog and she looked at me she's like i don't even have my wine yet like she because she sat on the porch and watched forever and she was cheering me on

and it's hard to get mad when someone's because she was like you got it and in my mind i'm like we just shut up but you can't say that obviously because you're an ass that's beautiful yeah it was cool dude you were like the pool boy you were basically the pool boy for this person yeah oh my shirt is soaked i might as well rip it off and i feel like i could do this if my jeans were maybe a little tighter you know i walked up and i was like hey i'll have a glass of wine shred wine uh-huh uh-huh maybe some milo in that glass is that it was that funny i can't tell what's funny anymore yeah yeah yeah sure so you know it's that kind of podcast now listen sean s jordan uh on the temple of zoom

hey making his way through the Temple of Zoom. Making his way through the Temple of Zoom. Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan on Instagram. We've seen a lot of those. We've seen a lot of those. What's up with you, man? How are you doing? Planting some radberry bushes.

I'm calling them radberry bushes. You should. If anybody should, you should. You should also call it chilling with the boysenberries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what I've been doing. I've been doing a lot of dad bits on Laura, even though I'm not a dad. But one of them I thought of.

So we were planning blueberries and raspberries. And I go, what do you call a ghost's favorite fruit? What do you guys think you call it? A boo berry? A boo berry. So I thought of two answers of two answers i was like wrong it's a razz scary and had she said razz scary i would have said boo berry so i was gonna get her no matter what oh so you're a terrorist yeah yeah it's like that person that gets three rows on the bottom row of connect four and then they brag about it and you're like no you just got the three in a row it's you like you're one of those guys who likes to rig the odds in your favor see the world burn my friend an american yeah i get it i guess you could have also said a banana oh shit i'm gonna get her again i'm gonna go upstairs and

do it or uh that's the thing about that joke it's evergreen you can keep going back to the well apples you know where they're yelling at first sure americino scary a scary mango a peach a bum plump no that just sounds like a plum out of your butt yeah i'm sorry it does sound like a butt plump i'm sorry i you know it's not always there oh it could be a plum did anybody else hear that you know oh okay that worked that works what about a uh what about uh what about uh what about uh shit swing better swing better what about a what about a key we gotta go home i'm so scared there you go yes totally yeah okay I came back around that's why you get

a room together you know what I mean that's why you get a room together Sean do you have anything to point people towards I mean for god's sake no I heard so I listened to this podcast called the nine club and I just heard this dude Justin Eldridge say something really cool and he was just saying that pretty much what I say but it's

fun hearing someone else say it just be happy like try to try to enjoy everything you can, even while things are a bummer, if they're a bummer right now. Just try your best to enjoy it because before we know it, all this is over. So make the best of it.

Try to enjoy it. Be happy. Go out on your porch at 7 and bang some pans and just be stoked. Do you think he said enjoy so much because it's a skate brand? Is that why he chose that word?

No, he spelled it with an I. He skates for chocolate, so he should have been so much? Cause it's a skate brand. Is that like why he chose that way? He skates for chocolate. So he should have been like, yeah, go get a chocolate bar, you know, get some, get like a chocolate mocha, something like that.

Maybe have it with a girl chocolate, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Listen to this podcast. You're already doing it. So that's great.

Thank you. Beautiful. Uh, the G asylum on Twitter. Cool guy jokes. Hey, seven on Instagram. That's my names.

What else? Oh, I forgot the nicknames that we came up with the last time. Tay Biggs. I'm not sure you, dude. Yeah. Tay Biggs and Chug Buttermilk. There's been a lot. It was Bug Chudder Milk.

Bug Chudder Milk. Bug Chudder Milk is one. Bug Chudder Milk, dude. Bug Chudder Milk, attorney at law, please. What did I just say i wanted to start calling you sure digital sure digital there's a lot of listen there's a lot of names and i like them all yeah dude proud of every one of my dumb names i can't the next tour i hope somebody makes you like like a big sweatshirt with all these nicknames on them or like a football jersey oh i'm gonna have to explain that next time i go to wingstop oh yeah i played

for chug buttermilk state for those of you who didn't tune into the uh we did a live stream show together on our friend simon gibson and mk paulson's uh show slash i guess podcast yeah was talking about how he uh chugged buttermilk he ate a bunch of goat cheese you can jump in whenever by the way okay great i jumped in early and then i was like oh shit i don't think i was supposed to do that that's not a podcast the jump rope is always going so thanks thanks for bringing me back in yeah we keep it open buttermilk sounds like a fucking nightmare yeah you added goat cheese into the equation and that's why why it sounds like a prank i've been watching fear factor it definitely feels like a

fear factor i've been watching fear factor i've been watching gray's anatomy what do you think of that i started it's i mean wow my i'm like watching the trash version of gray's anatomy you started dude that's like a long climb. That's like the Pacific Crest Trail of TV shows. So many episodes of television. And they're like an hour too, right? They sure are. So far I've spent 15 American hours watching Grey's Anatomy.

And I don't see the train stopping at any station. I see it blown by. We're not picking anyone up. We're just going straight to Baltimore. Oh, I can't do it. Are you on season two? Yeah. Wow.

Have you gotten to like the bomb that goes off in the hospital? No. Well, now I'm going to. Sorry, I'm watching until I see the bomb. Listen, you knew there was a bomb. If they were that many episodes, a bomb's going to go off. It just depends on when. A bomb's going to go off?

An alien's going to come? I bet you they see ghosts everything's gonna happen a giraffe wearing a tweet yeah giraffe in a tweed coat's gonna come in you know i bet you they see the ghost of a goat chugging buttermilk chugging buttermilk it's that is there's that many episodes i'm stoked i i just i love soap operas uh i love medical dramas so it's perfect for me right up your alley it's exactly what it is so everybody says that about you i was actually talking to somebody the other day they're like what do you think about sean and i was like well i'd be remiss if i said he loves medical dramas first of all so you go from there as a as a as a man like not even as my friend is he loves medical dramas yeah that's just what you got to know before you draw any first first and

foremost yeah medical dramas on the television i'm drama i'm taking off the powdered wig i'm walking out from behind the bench i'm not judging him at all but the man loves he loves a medical drama that's what i'm just a guy standing elsewhere that like halfway through my beating into the crypts that's what i kept screaming so the pain would go away saint elsewhere i love medical dramas it would have been saint elsewhere at that point right it would have yeah or general hospital or that's on during the day i guess yeah er is this up though yeah i know. Anyway, they're all dank. I like them all. General Hospital. You've been watching it so long since it was Lieutenant Hospital.

Folks, it's a fun podcast. Come on. I like that. Cadet. It's a fun podcast. I can't believe it. Private hospital. That's the problem.

That's why we're all quarantined. Because it's all private hospitals. But also he's. We got to it. But also he's kind of like a dull army private who has the voice of an angel oh man i'm private hospital and then he sings that was the most fun subplot of any tv show gomer pile where he just for some reason had a beautiful singing voice and they tried to work it in when they could i love it that's like what a great what a great thing for a character to have. Jam neighbors.

Real Butcher is with us. Yeah, what's up? Thanks for having me. Stoked to be here. You're going to give me a story by credit on that Before Times punch up? That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, man.

I'm not working. I need something. As a guild member, you know, it's important to me to give credit where credit is due yeah i appreciate that real but i don't full story by credit if anything written by as well that intro i mean i improvised some of it but can i get a couple points at least and yeah definitely five points on the back end everybody watch out everybody clean your ears out We got some industry jargon going on. That's right.

Oh, boy. Uh-oh. It's fun for everybody. That's right. If you smell like fruit in the kitchen, that's just because some juice is talking right now. That's all it is. 100%. That's just juice talk.

That's all that is. Juice is the best thing to call anything It really is I got the juice In the casino we used to call money juice Like how much juice You have to pay the juice to the casino It's like the coolest thing I love that

If I were wailing on my electric guitar in the garage And somebody was at the amp and it wasn't loud enough I'd say, go ahead and give me some juice. Give me a little more juice. Feed the dog. The dog's thirsty. I want some juice. Also, sometimes when I make a shot in the trash, I call myself

the juice. Yeah, OJ, I'm taking it back. Shout out to David. I got the juice. I say, new juice. New juice here now. New juice here now. Updated juice. I saved the new juice. New juice here now. New juice here now. Updated juice. Not from Concentrate. Yeah.

Ian, before he was bar mitzvahed, he called himself Juicish. That's right. We have to stop there. We have to stop. Do I have to leave? Do I have to go somewhere? Is that the new Kenya Barris vehicle? Juicish?

Blackish, Mixish. Juicish. Grownish, Juicish cruise juices jewish-ish jewish-ish rashida jones is also the lead in that she's also in that she's everywhere for god's sake uh where can people where can people fuck with you right now where are you putting stuff out if you're putting stuff out i mean mostly on instagram i guess and twitter for the most part um i don't know i'm toying around with releasing a voice memo as an album or a video that i have of stand up as a thing because like i don't know you know like when the shit is any of this stuff gonna come back and i feel like people i don't know would be into that so i think you have the juice to do it your boy yeah i got the juice yeah you got the juice i got the

juice um i've been saying swish a lot i like that um not when i'm making baskets necessarily i mean i say it then but also just like you know apply it to everything so the two hours a day you're not making baskets you're also staying you're also saying swish. Like if I were to floss my teeth at night and there's no blood and I look down, I go swish. What is that? Are you okay? I floss with barbed wire, man. I'm different now. I worry that you floss

with silk and you've just got gingivitis. His teeth are plaque. That's all it is. It's not actual teeth, it's plaque. He has to work through the plaque to get to the tooth. Right, exactly. You gotta beat the cavity with the plaque. Cavity inception. I know about that.

Reverse psychology on the cavity, per se. I've been tie-dying a lot. That's what I've been doing. Talk to us about that. I've been tie-dying. I just wanted to do it i got like a children's kit off of the internet and i bought some socks because i figured

that would be like you know like a good transition into doing it and figuring out how it works and stuff and it's been really fun i love that it looks ill it's been pretty great i just saw it like two hours ago it looks fucking ill do you mind if i grab a surfboard and join you on that wave because i might yeah get it ride this wave ian i might do it i will say here's the difficult thing it requires some to buy things that are ppe like you need gloves you know so that that's and i'm also trying to do it in a way that doesn't like i don't want to i mean I'm not going to be cheap. Like I'll buy the stuff, but like,

I'm also trying to not like buy shit constantly. So like the clothing part of it is kind of difficult. Cause I would, you can't go to Goodwill. You can't just like go get some shirts to like fuck around with or whatever. So I'm trying to do it as mindfully as possible, but it is really fun to like try, like think about the math and the colors and stuff.

Like it feels like dying Easter eggs and shit. Totally. Just reminds me of being a kid, which is a lot of fun. And I was talking to Sean and David about the ice method that somebody just told me about. That's what I like a lot. You put a bunch of ice over the clothing and then you put pigment dyes, so powder dyes, on the, and then the ice melts and does the patterning for you. It's pretty sick. Oh, my God.

I was already really interested, and that made me even really ramped it up. Some of them are not working with dyes. Yes, it's sick. Wait, what do you mean reverse, like photo negative tie dye? Kind of. You take a black shirt or a dark shirt, and you do the same shit that you would do with tie dye, where you put rubber bands on it or do whatever pattern you want to do and use bleach and then you rinse out the bleach and then you lay out the shirt and you put the dye into the

you like just spray the dye into the spot that sounds into the spots of the bleach made with the dye yes if you want to or you can just leave it the like bleach because then you get that sick like black and sort of coral color. You can dye that. Oh yeah. Pretty sick right? Yeah. You just described my whole next week. What we're going to be like coming out of this thing. Just all tie dye all the time. We're going to put people on their ass.

That's amazing. Sean's going to be Ty Thigh. Ty Thigh. Hi my name's Ty Thigh. I'm running for the governor of oregon next year sean if you uh if you tie down your gi you could be the tie the taekwondo guy my man taekwondo guy with the thick thighs oh thick thighs on the taekwondo guy i just laughed so hard i felt like digital i gave too much blood oh that was awesome uh my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish tiktok which i believe i

haven't done yet there it is what that might be the first thing where I'm like, eh, I'm too old. For TikTok? I don't know. What am I going to... I'm going to go change the world on TikTok. I think I found the splash I'm going to make, and I'm making it with this. My dancing is for me, my loved ones, my enemies,

and anyone who I'd like to turn into a loved one or an enemy, and not for strangers on the internet. That's it. All right. For public consumption. And anybody else who listens to Apex twin around your front yard at three in the morning, I'm going to be out there.

All right. It's noon in Antwerp. All right. I did just get a text message from Shane Torres that says, how you doing, Bubba? I hate when he calls me Bubba, and somehow there's a typo. Will you text him back and be like, man, you better wash your ass?

I will. Oh, I got him. He doesn't even know. It's coming from inside the house. Swish. Swish. Now, we are gathering here today not only to text man you better wash your ass to shane torres although for sure that's part of it he knows you don't like it when you

call him bubba right he keeps doing he can't help it he loves it i know he loves it so much that i'm like let the guy have you know what i mean oh your dog is tearing apart that pair of shoes but look how happy he is. I love it. Not to call Chantour a dog. He's not a dog. No, he's amazing. Buy his album. Established in 1984. It's perfect. He's obviously a cat. He's very clearly a cat. I saw him cough up a furball once. Every morning.

Every morning there's a furball hanging from the corner of my furball's forecourt. shut the door i don't know the words i know that he was bleach blonde and he had a really really big head i know it's not mine but i see if i can use it for a weekend or a one night stand shut the door everywhere i I go. Nope, that's a different song. Every day is a winding road. Are you talking about that Sugar Ray song where they got Super Cat to do the rapping in the background?

Yeah. Spread your love on flies. That's one of those songs where you know they never met each other. Super Fly were never in the studio at the same time we were i was in uh i was in san francisco over the weekend with my girlfriend and we were driving around and for some reason we hit a row on her spotify you know how they have those like playlists they like cater to you where yeah uh and so one of them was just like a thick vein of fucking like late 90s like punk pop punky like but not just pop punk like sugar it was on there

like the goo goo dolls were on there like oh boy uh uh third eye blind and it was just like fastball oh my god dude oh man that's a real San Francisco playlist. I was living. It really is. I threw a couple of train songs on there. It was living. Oh, Drops of Jupiter? Drops of Jupiter.

Just kind of the way like Zach Toscani will take food and like add some like from a restaurant but add his own ingredients to it at home. Like I was doing that with a playlist. It was great. He will. He has some Sean Colvin on that thing. Yeah, put some cherries, tomatoes on there.

Sean Colvin. He'll put butter on the bottom of his pizzas, his frozen pizzas. He'll put like butter or garlic on them. It's wild. Never seen it. I think that probably does something though. I bet it makes it super dank. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a chef. The man's not wrong. Did your mic warble or did your voice warble when you said the man's not wrong? The man's not wrong. Oh, cool. Okay, good. It sounded a little bit like the way I heard it.

I was like, is John about to cry? Most of it, dude. I've been watching Grey's Anatomy. So, yeah. I'm usually about to cry. Open it up, man. Is that a sad show? I didn't even know.

A lot of people. A lot of death, dude. It's at a hospital. Okay, Dave? Here's a quarter. Go buy a clue. You know what i'm talking about you should you should watch scrubs instead i think that's more for your temperament you want me to talk about scrubs ian doesn't like that show it's my favorite show of all time so we want i don't like it either ian

and i went this is and i started as a liker i love it and i went around on it and i turned around on it that's a perfect i've never been a fan fan. Another person we know who I will say off air because he has since worked with the creator of Scrubs. Yeah. Also didn't like Scrubs when we were all coming up together in Portland. Yeah. Well, and I didn't give a fuck that either one of you didn't like it. So.

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, you didn't care that either. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck is this? You're like my favorite show. And then you and Shane like sat there and watched Scrubs in my house. He came in one time.

I grabbed his remote. He goes, not in my house came in one time i grabbed his remote he goes not in my house and just changed there's only one favorite show and it's king of the hill that's right yeah king of the hill is perfect you're right yep shane says he did he just washed his ass he went on a bike ride with canane and kind of had to. Gross. Kind of had to. Kind of had to wash his ass. What gutter did those two Hessians go riding around in? Good lord. I don't know. They just drove from-

He came home and had to decide like, I think I kind of have to. I probably should. I went on a wet bike ride through the LA River. They probably went from oinkster to oinkster. That seems like where the two of them would go Switch We're gathered here today not to go from oinkster to oinkster But to draft things we missed From the before times

Before we were all All credit to Rhea Butcher Written by Rhea Butcher Executive producer Rhea Butcher. Written by Rhea Butcher. Story by Rhea Butcher. Written by Rhea Butcher. Executive producer Rhea Butcher. Based on a short story. Based on a poem by Rhea Butcher. Adapted for the screen by

Rhea Butcher. A limerick. Adapted from a rumor by Rhea Butcher. That's when movies will get like creative like that uh anyway uh to draft things from the before time before we were all locked up inside the stuff we miss maybe some of the stuff we took for granted maybe we never took it for granted folks we're gonna find out here on the podcast yeah we are we are yeah i'm pretty excited about this more professional i gotta do it i don't know if does does the world of fantasy all fantasy everything live within the world of all fantasy

everything draft reviews on twitter can can those two streams cross because like i just want to say i hope that i get a good grade on this one you know what i mean like i'm just really i mean it's gonna cross yeah it's gonna cross because i Because I was really sad about my first grade. I was in the very bottom half. I mean, I wasn't in the basement. I mean, I was in the basement. I wasn't on the floor of the basement. Did AFE Mel Kiper drag you through the mud or what?

He did. On the first one. That guy's a surly bastard sometimes. On sports movies. I was like, look, man, man i'm gonna get redeemed on the sports which is it's such an appropriate story you know to like get redeemed on sure it's a redemption drafting sports movies i got a sports movie redemption arc on my sports movie all fantasy everything draft great from the fucking mel kiper yeah big swish listen big swish you

gotta you gotta draft from your heart don't worry about afe mel kuiper you get the team you want to see on the field i don't know how that guy he ascended to such a powerful position so quickly he's not anytime you give it oxygen you know what i mean it's just gonna grow that's true he doesn't control me i'm autonomous i don't know dude oh damn sure digital sure digital you heard it here first the only scoreboard you care about is rock paper scissors speaking of which the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoot here we go i'm shooting up rock paper scissors Paper, scissors, shoot. David. David wins.

Yes. It is a... David. In 20 years, they're going to make a 10-part documentary about you playing rock, paper, scissors. They're going to say it's revelatory, and then they're going to actually leave all the bad stuff out. It's amazing. Yeah, that's fun. I think I know what you're talking about. That's right.

A thing I'm not watching, but I'm annoyed by on Twitter every fucking Sunday. It's an entertaining sports documentary. I'm enjoying it. I'm having a good time watching it. But here's the thing. I was going to watch it if it was bad. I was going to watch it if they put it up on YouTube and just like some dude I know named Gary made it. For sure.

I just don't have access to it. I would also watch it because I would love to relive my childhood at any time. You got to get ESPN Plus. You don't have ESPN Plus? No. I got rid of everything, and I have no subscriptions right now. That's all right. That's probably for the better.

Yeah, but you're tie-dying shit, so you're doing better. I'm tie-dying shit, man. You don't have Quibi? I got my own space to jam. No, I don't have Quibi. I think you can get, like, is there a free trial for you you get like 40 months free for quibi i think for the first 40 months i think it's like if you feel that it's 4.99 a day if you fell up at chevron half a tank you get four three years of quibi and a mountain dew code red it's it's every i don't mean to

slag out quibi like big shots big friends big shots to everyone making cool stuff on there it's just yeah watch me on quibi I'm on game show it's just it would be funny if that was your only streaming service like yeah I don't really it would be funny if that was the only thing look I do have quibi as someone who made

some shit on CISO and people ruthlessly made fucking fun of it oh yeah we can poke fun at quibi regardless of the fact that we have friends on it because like they know what's up we all know what's up i love it i still don't know why we made fun of cso that hard jealousy once again i mean they treated me so good as well i'm saying it was one of the more pleasant generals i had i don't know what they were ria you would know what it was like to work with them full-time they were great yeah they're great everybody i'll say this everybody that i worked with on cso was great and it was powers

above that that had control over how it operated in the ways that were frustrating you know what i mean for people that allowed for whatever but everybody that i worked with they just wanted to give comedians opportunities to make shit and like yeah that was what was really cool about it to me like it wasn't about uh anything other than that it wasn't about like making this thing this thing and that thing it's like they just wanted to give people opportunities to make shit and like i think that's great you know that's so cool for real yeah looking back on it now it's like i wish all those specials were as available as they were on cso like we made fun of it at the time because it's like well it's not special now but like fuck man now that everybody has unlimited time to watch it i wish it was everywhere i wish cso was still operating so people could just watch that shit

you know because it's like our friends it was our friends yeah it's like a bunch of people we know if there's like 150 million more americans or 100 million more americans now than there were like in the 90s or whatever like when they first set up these distribution things like why shouldn't there be a couple more specials out than there used to be absolutely and now there's only specials on what two or three outlets now and it's like yeah it's all top level like who's gonna do pull the most eyeballs or whatever instead of just like yeah laurie kilmartin you've been working in comedy for how fucking long and you're hilarious of course we'll put out your special like let's do it yeah they've like syrup tissues

thank you all right all right you talked me into it anyway i yeah it's all just it's all good but i think ragging on could be it's a funny name come on it's funnier than funny it's all good. But I think Ragging Uncwibby, it's a funny name. Come on. It's funnier than Cecil Pitcher. It's a hilarious name. They paid somebody a lot of money to come up with a name we would make fun of a lot. They probably did. Yeah, they really did. Now, David, before you start that streaming service, I would love to know what the order of today's draft is going to be.

Before you do that, I will hasten to remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question. to remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that that's a great question it's uh it's like if you you haven't really done a lot of gardening in your life and how would you kiss your mother with that mouth you don't know what i do i don't kiss my mother with this mouth no good i don't know why people ever started saying that it's neither here nor there i uh i did a little gardening today and when you when you plant a raspberry bush

I call them a radberry bush I've been calling them radberry bushes so what you want to do is kind of so you start from the ground and then you have a stake that you have to tie it to so you go on one side of the stake you have a chicken that you tie it to

and some barbecued spare ribs filet mignon that you tie your red berry bush to. I like it. Yeah. You just kind of tie it on one side. You tie it on one side, and then you go up, and then you move it back to the other side, and you tie it real quick.

And then you kind of just kind of back and forth it all the way up the steak. So it's just kind of like a back and forth, kind of how a snake would slither. Just like tie it on one side, go up a little bit, tie it on the other, go back, tie it on the other, go back, tie it up the stake. So it's just kind of like a back and forth, kind of how a snake would slither. Just like tie it on one side, go up a little bit, tie it on the other, go back, tie it on the other, go back,

tie it in the other. And then you have like a four foot high raspberry, but radberry bush, excuse me, that is going to yield some radberries. That's what it is. Yeah. And I'm going to make radberry lemonade.

Ooh. Yeah. That sounds right. I actually have some radberry lemonade, crystal light. I'm going to make up. I'm still holding on. I got some raspberry lemonade. Crystal Light I'm going to make. Crystal Light. I'm still holding on.

I got some raspberry lemonade I'm going to make with Crystalia after this. It's coming over. Oh, God. I love it. I love it. I absolutely loved it. That was great. That was a swish.

Thank you. If you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. With that in mind, David, what will the order be? I'm going to go David, Sean, Rhea, Ian. Hot corner, I am back. You haven't had the hot corner for a while.

Pen and paper. Pen and paper. That's how we're doing it paper pen to paper sometimes you just got it out yeah you gotta let the brain flow you gotta let the juice out david you gave yourself the first pick which means uh you have the first pick in the i have a thing from the before time that we miss all fantasy everything and we will get to that pick right after this short break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it.

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And we're back! Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed, except of course for Three Swings Pod, which is you know, there's no baseball that's happening right now. There may not be baseball, but that doesn't mean the content has stopped. Go check it out. Gotta keep doing the content. Got to. Content, bro.

Go ahead and like and smash. Wait, damn it. I screwed it up. Never mind. Fuck me. No you got it go ahead and smash that like and subscribe button bro there we go that's the content people want they're begging for it they're begging for my phone by the way somebody uh tweeted at me they said that i seem bummed i'm not at all bummed i'm having an amazing i saw a beaver two nights ago so i'm doing i did i saw your mother with that mouth that's what i was saying i saw we went down to the we went down to read college on a hike and we saw a beaver swimming the animal the mammal swimming wow in the river it was fantastic so oh shit god i love those tails i thought i was bummed

i'm not bummed i just want to get that out it's been a thorn in my side because i'm not here seeing beavers and owls he's not even playing animal crossing not even oh should i yeah well we don't i don't want to get it i don't want to open up that that crate of worms can of worms just got nintendo switch i'm looking forward to like quality time which is just the two of us playing animal crossing uh-huh side by side together yeah yeah it's beautiful bro well wouldn't we why wouldn't we uh now david yes you have the first pick what is your first pick going to be okay this is my first pick is a very specific feeling that i missed from when we could go out do you remember when you would have to wake up really early in the morning let's say you got to wake up at like six yeah so you go to bed reasonable at a time you go to bed at like 10

and you're so proud of yourself and then you go you got to go you go to sleep for a while and you wake up and you have to go pee and you go pee and you're like oh man i bet you it's like 5 45 i know i'm about to i know i have to wake up as soon as i get in the bed. You get in the bed, you look at your phone, you see that it's like 11 o'clock. That feeling of having like five more hours of sleep. Oh, yeah. I know what you mean. That's a good one. You know what I'm saying?

Because you had to be somewhere and now you don't have to be anywhere. So you miss the feeling of knowing that you could sleep for like seven more hours and then go do what you had to do. The feeling of like being thankful for my bed instead of feeling like it's like a like it's a trap yes there you go perfect so it's like when you when you think you gotta wake up at five and you're like and you wake up and you're like shit it's probably five

and you look at your clock and it's like 11 yeah yeah and you're like oh dad yeah you do a spin maybe on your way back to the bed i don't want to wake up like a little much you ever do like a little stutter step like oh no i don't yeah not too much yeah i'll hit him i'll hit him with an okey-doke i'll do a sham god i'll hit him with a sham god every now and then sometimes if i'm feeling really good i'll do a heisman on my way back to the juice just yeah that's actually what i said to no one in particular it's like you're 11 on your phone you're just like oh swish right back to sleep i know i've said this before but i will orchestrate that feeling for myself sometimes if i don't have to be up until seven i will set an alarm for six just to like be like oh another hour okay all right i know louis the 15th all right going right

back to bed that's the only time that I ever naturally make the sleep noises too. Like when I see the clock and I'm like, and then I just go back to sleep. Yeah. I don't feel weird doing that because that's actually how I feel. But like any other time you're like, hey, stop making that sound, dude. You're killing me. We had a friend growing up who made those sleep moans like real loud. Our friend Nick, we'd be at sleepovers and he'd be like. Yeah. we had a friend growing up who made those sleep moans like real loud our friend nick he would

we'd be at sleepovers and be like yeah i'm like dude you sound insane there are 20 skateboarders sharing a hotel room and you're making that noise i wish i made that no i snore so loud it's it's i do too it's starting to sound like when sean when sean said when sean shares a hotel with us i'm always like wow i know but he's there too that's the thing yeah yeah it's crazy we all we all got a little bedtime juice when we're sharing a room together so it's all right i bet you people can hear our rooms from like the hall when when you it was you me sean uh zach and conception jason right and we all have that room that's right in palm springs together that was like because zach and uh jason weren't even drinking i won't i don't want to blow up

their spot but like they weren't drinking so i'm like the three of us were drunk and like sawing logs dude and like oh my god i'm not even sure i was sleeping inside i think i might have slipped on that i think it probably sounded like a dump truck full of bowling balls like ran into a factory that also made bowling balls and they all had match heads inside them and they were exploding yeah so yeah that feels like so like basically appreciating your bed rather than uh somehow holding it responsible for all everything that's going on. I scream into it sometimes now. I like it. That's a good call. You got a Casper,

you got a Lisa going, because I feel like the Lisa is really good for screaming into. It's a little softer on the top, so it absorbs the scream a little bit better. It's called a Titan. It's for bigger fellas. It's got a cooling top. It's pretty good for screaming into, though. Remember those Titans, you know what I mean oh yes yeah you can't ever forget strong side sean jordan time for your first pick oh shit i didn't realize i was second okay um i missed wait yeah you sound bummed dude

are you all right yeah no i'm good no sean are you you bummed or what you got oh shit man yeah are you bummed yeah i've only seen two owls, and I was really hoping I'd see a lot more than two since I've never seen any in the first 37 years of my life, and I've seen two now in quarantine. I told you if you want to see a muskox, you have to go to the Yukon Territory, and I'd be happy to set it up,

but you've got to let me know. You muskox. I would love to see. I would love to see a muskox. Here's something. Here's something i miss from the goddamn before times going to the mall yes it's my it's my favorite thing to do i'm not going to dive in too hard because it might step on other picks i love going to the mall i love it i don't

care i think you could dive in like i mean the mall you own it here we go we have an episode about it but like please i just it's it's fun like honestly the the more i was here and lord be gone all day i don't have a whip i would take the bus to the mall to go eat sometimes i would just go there to get coffee sometimes i'd go to the clackamas town center and i'm like look i'm at the mall i'm around people i've always loved it i've always thought it was fun people think i'm kidding like i've people in life people in life they think i'm kidding like i'll say this at a bar or something or out in public and someone's like oh yeah haha and i'm like no i love them all i love romantic comedies i cry there's a lot of stuff that i'm not kidding

about and loving them all is what is at the top of that list i love them all in every way you can love them all and i mean you know you have a You know you have someone who will walk beside you that whole way. I know, dude. I'm right behind you. Yeah, we're all there. I'm right there with you, dude. Raised at the mall, man. Raised at the mall.

We're walking like reservoir dogs the next time we can go to a mall, the four of us. We're just walking right in. We're all going to wear suits. I feel like the last three, four times I was at a mall, it was with you. Yeah, I mean, David and I used to go to the mall and talk about how dope it'd be if we could just buy shoes instead of just walk around. We used to try to dare each other to go into the Gucci store like a bunch of preteens. Yeah, I just miss going to the mall for like straight up just being there.

I love malls. So, yeah, that's my first pick. That's a great pick. Just chilling at the mall. Can I add that I went to the mall can i can i add that uh i went to the mall in el paso about three years ago and that mall in el paso texas had a an operating sam goody in it and i thought i was gonna die like they still had the carpet oh it was full of stuff they had essentially it was either sam goody or can of stuff. They had essentially, it was either Sam Goody

or whatever, I forget where it was along the chain. I can't remember anymore. FYE, that's what it was. It was full of all the, it had different times existing within it all at once. They didn't have a lot of stuff around the top.

Austin Powers cut out. Pretty much. Todd McFarlane toys. They were selling things and it would be like, you could get you know like stuff around the top austin powers cut out and like pretty much todd mcfarland toys they were selling things and it would be like you could get you can buy one t-shirt get 10 t-shirts free yeah and i could not find one shirt to buy you know but they also had like how many nightmare before christmas shirts do you need exactly it was crazy anyway that was that was a moment in time for me with the ball i felt like i got to experience a lot of my life in that one moment yeah one last dip in yeah one last dip into fye oh for entertainment i think it stood for it was yeah yeah man i'm all cluny we call

you i'm all cluny sean yeah dude i'm all i'm all Rashad. I'm all Rashad. Yeah. Rhea, time for your third pick. All right. First pick. My first pick in the third hole, in the three hole. Gotta get on base here. You know what I'm gonna go with. I know what you're gonna pick.

You know what I'm gonna pick. I gotta do it first up. I've learned how to do this draft. You know what I'm saying? And I got a little scared when you said you just blew through that Ken Burns because what I'm going to pick. I got to do it first up. I've learned how to do this draft. You know what I'm saying? And I got a little scared when you said you just blew through that Ken Burns because what I chose is baseball. Thank you, David. I've learned my lesson. You got to get what you want

in the first spot. You got to take what you want. Because you don't want to draft two closers in a row like I did last year by accident on my auto draft. There were two closers who had terrible seasons uh oh see that's my pick another closer no auto draft it was the worst i know i've had i've played with people who win on auto draft and i was like it'll be fine i had some other shit i had to do and i just oh it's terrible i hate that that's like mashing buttons and beating me at street fighter it makes me want to break the whole game so no one can ever play it again it's i

started this whole podcast because the drafting was the only part i liked it's my favorite part it's a great part uh but my pick is baseball um and it's it's it's a big pick for me because baseball obviously i've you know very very into baseball um but it sort of transcends every aspect of my life you know like it's in my entertainment it's my community it's my friendships you play memories i play baseball yeah not softball and i i know that's also not i used to think everybody was being sexist when they said that to me and then i realized recently oh no like adults don't typically play baseball. Right.

Yeah. No, it's like beer league softball. Yeah. Yeah. And no. And we because I'll say I play baseball and people are like, oh, underhand. And I'm like, first of all, there's no such thing as underhand. Underhand baseball.

And then I'm like, no, no, it's baseball. And they're like, so slow pitch. And I'm like, again, no, it's baseball. So it's like 60 miles an hour. How can you slow pitch and overhand baseball? You can't. It's called fielding. But yeah, I have a whole league and we have like a slack and we did like a Zoom.

The administrators of the league did a Zoom and we were all wearing our uniforms. It's all very adorable. I saw a picture of you in your uniform your uniforms are awesome my team is called death yeah that's right yeah apropos for right now yeah um and i just uh i think whatever i'll just say this i'm gonna be the manager this year because uh who knows when live performance is gonna come back and who knows when baseball is gonna come back but i'm switching to managing and i'm excited about that no story out here i love the manager is the manager the skipper who's the skipper oh yeah the manager is the skipper all right tight yeah i'm gonna call you the skipper then skipper butcher

i miss it a lot you're gonna be a player're going to be a player manager? Player manager, yeah. Yes. Those days need to come back. I honestly think that's the decline of professional sports in general. The lack of player managers because it's become so corporatized. I'm not naive. Wrigley Field is called Wrigley Field.

I'm not stupid. Like, it's always, I'm not naive. Like, Wrigley Field is called Wrigley Field. I'm not stupid. But, like, it's just been, it's become this whole thing where, like, every echelon is, like, so removed from each. And, like, I don't know. The first manager last year for the Cardinals is the first manager to have never played baseball at the professional level. That's so weird.

Which is super weird to me. It feels crazy. I'm glad it happened because to me as you know the lawyer that I want to be I can be like this is why women who played softball can coach baseball because this guy never played professional baseball neither did they um but I feel like that thing is missing in baseball just like that connective tissue of a player that's managing I think it's coming back with the Cubs picking somebody like david ross which i called cubs fans disagreed with me they were like no way no way absolutely not they're not they're picking gerardi they're absolutely and i was like no man that's what david's been saying david was saying gerardi pretty heavy fans were unreasonable no way i can't believe it david can you believe it

that cubs fans thought they knew something more than somebody else. I can't believe it. I've never heard that about the fans. I've never heard that. Right before we were like supposed to be taking this seriously, but we still weren't. You know what I mean? I went to a baseball themed music festival in Phoenix. Oh, yeah. The innings festival.

The extra innings festival because our friends Portugal, the man we're playing, shout out to them. They hooked me, my dad, my sister up. But we went to a Cubby Bears spring training game. Oh, it was so much fun. So I got to see some baseball. We got to lay on the hill in the back. Yeah, yeah.

They just have a grass hill you can chill on and eat hot dogs. And I was like, whoa, you're saying picks. Oh, shit, my bad. Too much information. Yeah, come on. I knew baseball was coming. You can still eat hot dogs. Oh, shit. My bad. Too much information. Yeah, come on. I knew baseball was coming. You can still eat hot dogs in this, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, I've been eating them like crazy. Oh, not the way I want to. Okay, okay. It was just like a beautiful day. I will add along those lines to wrap up my, sorry about my dog, but wrap up my baseball pick. There was, somebody sent it to me, one of my friends in my baseball league on our baseball

Slack. somebody sent it to me, one of my friends in my baseball league on our baseball slack. Somebody put together this edit of all these baseball movies put together with the narration from a bunch of baseball movies all put together. And ESPN, it's on my Twitter, which is Rhea Butcher. But it's like six minutes long and I was just like, I wasn't full, but it was just coming out of me because I've tried to keep my head cool about like, look, like we have to give things up for this

thing because like we have to get through it together and like everybody has to make sacrifices. Like it's just what it is, you know? And if baseball is the biggest thing I have to give up, like I'm living a pretty good life, you know? But it's also like, oh, this thing, like I can feel the whole, it's really missing, you know, it's like really tremendously missing in my life.

And like, you know it, but you don't feel it until you really feel it. And you're like, oh God, I was thinking about such a constant. It was like something you never thought. I feel the same way about 150 years. Sports in general. You never think that you never think that like, oh, there's not going to be a basketball playoff. It's a way we mark time. Since you said basketball playoff, I wasn't going to pick it anyway after the baseball.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's all good. I thought you were. I was thinking, I'm like, it doesn't feel like it's about to be May. And it's going to be May, right? It's going to be May and that's it's a gonna be may right it's gonna be another month but i was like it doesn't because it's like because there's no playoffs right now there should be nba playoffs i should be noticing the day is getting longer and like time doesn't mean anything either but like we don't have those games not dark when it starts yeah i will say

there i've got two silver linings for this for me one the unfortunate silver lining of this is that all sports are like gender equal now because nobody's playing any sports and two I don't have to deal with football I don't like football

it might not come back no it's coming back they'll be playing on a barge. They'll bring that one back. They might be practicing right now. They probably are. On a super yacht. Yeah, yeah.

Just somewhere like illegal football practices. The point is baseball. Yeah, that's a beautiful. Just a bucolic experience. It's time for my fourth pick or first pick with the fourth pick. I'm tripping today my first pick i'm going to take uh a thing i really miss and the thing i can't wait to do again is going out to a restaurant and just fucking going nuts yeah dude just like yep with like a group of people every way you can go nuts just because that's what we do

we're getting cocktails plenty of appetizers bunch of apps food for the table kind of like what we do with a mess hall or what we might do it like fire on the mountain if we're back in portland that steak joint that the dudes wore the hockey jerseys into you know that kind of place where the dudes were the hockey jerseys that vodka night we had a kachka i just want to like go and like yes i actually will have a look at the dessert menu thank you yeah by the way that's the first thing that we're gonna do is yes we're gonna do i don't know where we're doing it but it's it's gonna go down and it's gonna be tight pancakes for every table every table a whole new movement dude it's a whole new world after this a pancake for every table for every table i do miss that though because it feels like a celebration whenever you do it.

Yes. Even if nothing's going on, it's just like a fun like. Oh, man. The moment when you're sitting there and everybody looks at each other and you're like, yeah, let's get something together. This is dope. This is not a solitary. When you're like, yeah, no.

It's like a community. Let's get some appetizers. Like, that's what the restaurant is for. I would fuck up some of my red snapper yeah yeah let's share you've never had a sea bass like this get in there get in there we all get drinks and zach's like yeah i will have a drink zach tiscani who doesn't drink we'll have one because it's that kind of night you know that's the best when a restaurant has their own cocktails too you're like a venetian sunrise why wouldn't i try that yeah

yeah yeah give me a screwball give me a double screwball over here yeah and then the waiter's When a restaurant has their own cocktails, too, you're like, a Venetian sunrise? Why wouldn't I try that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, give me a screwball. Give me a double screwball over here. Yeah. And then the waiter's always like, that's actually my favorite. Ooh, you feel special even though you know he says that to all the gals? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He really makes you feel cool always. Yeah. Oh, man, that one's so good. You're like, in your head, you're like, I waited tables for a couple. I got some restaurant experience. So, like, yeah, I can pick them. Yeah. I can so good. You're like in your head, you're like, I waited tables for a couple. I got some restaurant experience. So like, yeah, I can pick them. Yeah, I can.

Yeah. They said cherry tomatoes. That's what kind of got me excited. That's what sets it off. Yeah, the tamarind is what drew me to it. Yeah, man. Getting buck at a restaurant. I love it.

I just, fuck, I can't wait. Love it. I cannot wait. The second one, the thing I really miss is just getting fresh for a reason. Oh, like dressing up and going out? Yes, putting like, combing your goddamn- I never wear these shoes. Combing your hair, putting on something that smells good, putting on some clothes you know you look good in,

and just like fucking like that feeling that you call the uber you're having you know what i mean you're getting ready to go one last look in the mirror i'm like oh shit yeah we're all standing in the living room like we got time to listen to still fly by big timers don't we we do we do and you're looking at you're like yeah the uber's four minutes crank it as loud as it'll go on youtube real quick and then i asked you for a little a little spritz of the cologne i pull off the jameson bottle just because their shot glasses are all dirty, you know, and then, yeah, then we hop in the Uber and bug the shit out of the Uber driver. Oh, is that why you pull off the bottle, Sean?

Exactly. I like that you worked that into the write-up. You pulling off the bottle. Yeah, because we were using the shot glasses for gravy earlier, so you couldn't pour it in. They're actually full of melted butter. Why is there buffalo sauce in all the shot glasses well we put a wing in each shot glass we were doing chef shots

we were doing chef oh man oh I forgot I put all the deli mustard in the shot glasses because I wanted to let it breathe before we had those hot dogs but I just yeah like I haven't put on i've bought more new shoes than i've worn since this stop started and i've bought more shoes than i've worn not new so like you know what i mean like yeah i know what you mean i put on the same pair of shoes to go out like an for a walk every day but like that's it it's either that no shoes or flip-flops and like but why also why

would i why would i throw on like a you know a nice pair of sneakers that look yeah what are you doing i mean i i get up and laura gets dressed because you know she just does and then i'm like well all right i gotta put some pants on i gotta do that because it yeah you start to feel i start to feel weird if i don't if there's like two or three days go by and i haven't like changed really like no change put some jeans on and just go yeah sometimes i'll walk like around the grocery store which is a weird thing but i'll just go like walk around it and come home and i'm like okay i did something i went just like case of the joy yeah just like so when i rob it it's gonna i'm not gonna get caught yeah i'll rob them establish patterns i'll put on a couple outfits in a day i'll be honest i'll put on a morning

outfit and an afternoon outfit just try to replicate the feeling of having been or gone somewhere you know I love that that's a good pro tip I like that I threw the sweater on what do you guys think it's a Mr. Rogers kind of I watched episode one season one of Mr. Rogers

the other night and it really hit me he was like do you ever change your shoes when you get home to get ready to play and i was like that's why and i'm gonna do that and now i changed my shit i changed my shit maybe i need to do that maybe i'll start manufacturing that for myself but i still i know i still won't like i'm not gonna put on a new pair of shoes for the first time no no yeah nobody's getting their maiden voyage but um yeah so that's my pick ria time for your second pick okay great my second pick all right i'm gonna move things around a little

bit i my second pick is playing pinball oh okay i like it it's a big it's a big uh thing in my life it's just as big as baseball i had like a pinball crew and i would go to very i like finding the specific machines that i like to play um i had some spots all over los angeles and i say pinball not just because i can't i don't have access to pinball but also because like the idea of getting on a machine that someone else has just been on exactly that i don't know that idea and look i was like it surprised me when all this was shifting and changing like how many comics were freaking out because i was like what have you guys been doing on planes like i've been wiping this shit down washing a lot of shit like you guys have been really riding the edge here for

a while but like i would play pinball and then go wash my hands and then play another thing and wash my you know yeah so i just feel like i i really miss that and i miss not being as freaked out about using a machine as i probably will be the next time i do it right and i just found a game that i really loved that was like just pure fun that wasn't one that was like challenging it was just fucking fun what do you like about some pinball machines over others can you quantify that like what's the i think what i like is because i'm not i was just kind of like two years into my like pinball love you know so i wasn't like deep into it but i was getting there and i think what i like is a clear and present middle shot a clear and present

danger themed danger themed like you like a ramp up the middle i like a a ramp up the middle or just like a clear middle shot that is replicable and has like alternates to it but like oh that's where i go for the main thing and i can do that and figure out the other shit around it um because i know what you mean for sure thank you david there's a game called um attack from mars that is is the game that got me in and it has this that game and then also medieval madness very similar setups in the in the gameplay and i just really enjoy that because you can quickly and easily play the game in a way that's satisfactory

without being like I don't know how this thing works you can just get right into it I'll be into pinball at some point because you gotta play the games otherwise it's not that fun it's not fun because a lot of people play it and they just hit it over

but yeah I know what you mean. The actual some games are harder to play than others. Yes. I will. Yeah. I'll have this stage. I will hit my pinball stage. I've been waiting to hit it.

And I'm excited to because I like I've been like everybody wants to go play pinball. And I'm like, I'm not quite there yet. But when I play, I do want to pay attention. I want people to take it seriously. I don't want someone off getting a drink when it's their turn that kind of shit where I'm like no you knew you were up be here I also Sean you bring up a great point which is I don't like to play

pinball with people who don't want to play on the same machine I like to play two player pinball of course I mean occasionally like you deviate you want to try to eat whatever but like I love to play like two player and watch each other play the game that is actually how you competition learn how to and i don't even like to compete with the friends that i play like

friendly competition of like let's both do better but like that's how i learned how to play pinball so of course was like playing and then watching somebody else do it this dude taught me all the like beatles stuff because the beatles pinball is a lot of fun it's also very difficult in its simplicity but he was like hey do you guys want me to show you how to play this thing and I was like absolutely so he like jumped in was playing with us and I was like kicking his ass and he but he didn't notice

because he was teaching us and then he was like oh wait a minute and like caught back but I still beat the guy anyway when you beat him did you just whisper in his ear you go imagine all the pinballs. Yeah. I did. Yes.

I got blisters on me fingers. That's an amazing pick. I can't wait to go play pinball with you. What you got to do is get some like elegant ass pinball gloves. And then I've got my back to go play pinball with you. What you got to do is get some elegant-ass pinball gloves. And then I've got my back patch for my pinball team and all that shit. Have you been to the pinball museum in Oakland? No, not yet.

Oh, man. You got to. I know. I know. That one and the one outside of Vegas. There's a pinball museum in Vegas, too. And a lot of dead bodies outside of Vegas. A lot of dead people in Vegas.

A lot of problems. A lot of near-dead people in Vegas too. And a lot of dead bodies outside of Vegas. A lot of dead people in Vegas. A lot of problems. A lot of near dead people in Vegas. Sian, time for your second pick, baby. I miss new movies. We haven't had a goddamn new movie since this all happened. The last new movie is The Hunt that I can

gather. That's like the last one that was like, okay. And that came out months ago. Trolls World Tour, man. Yeah, TWT. I watched it the other night with my nephews and, you know, that's what I'll say about it. So do you mean seeing a movie in theaters or do you just mean a good new movie?

I just mean a good new movie. I miss movie trailers. There's just nothing going on with movies right now. And it bums me out. Do you think they're waiting because they think it's going to come back? What I i think is gonna happen is they're gonna do all home releases eventually but they're just they're holding on as long as they can to to do that that's what they did with the hunt and a couple more where they're like um you know you can buy home for 20 bucks or whatever but yeah i just missed new movies it just really bums me out

there's no new movie yeah dude trolls world 2 made like five times its projected theater take. Really? Just from the home release? Just from home release. But I also think part of that is because, and I could be, maybe it was like three times. So if it's only three, like don't be like. That's still a lot. Yeah, but people are trying to watch it right now.

It's got to make three times to be a profitable movie. Well, in the studio, guys, it's got to make two times it's to be a profitable movie well in the studios guys it's got to make two times its budget back is what it is two times we we were talking about the other day about i wanted to make movie tickets and like and just give laura a ticket like fraud no just like hey let's go to the movies and like have her come in the back door and like i hand her a ticket and like we just go sit on the couch what are you saying i'm not married yet that's the only way they can do it it's a catholic movie isn't there a uh isn't there a new hemsworth project on netflix have you seen that oh the uh extraction extraction dude is that what it looks no i haven't seen it i'll watch it for sure there's not a hemsworth project i sleep on my friend i love he can kickflip and he's you look at him and you're like there's no way he can

kickflip and he can kickflip so what you know of course we we shot a thing with him and like in person it's even more potent it's wild i would i would stir that man's kool-aid i'll tell you this yeah it's like that it's like it's like the uh it's just drinking a glass full of that like stumptown like concentrate that i have in the fridge straight to the dome holy buckets so yeah i miss new movies yeah that's a good one i miss the fuck do you want to throw like theaters in there you just mean new movies because i miss new movies i miss movie theater i want to get a popped corn dude yeah i mean eat it yeah man i do miss going to the movie theater especially because i go to like i go to the uh the uh city walk

oh damn yeah so it's always pretty surreal i I get real stoned when I go there. It's always a weird time. Yeah, City Walk. Drop in instead of the John Lovitz Comedy Club. Drop back out. RIP. New movies. David Boyd, tell me your second and third picks as tis.

My second and third picks, these are both things that I do everywhere, and it makes me feel like a part of like a community at large, I guess. And the first one is chatting up strangers. Yeah. Just like it just always makes me like like if you're at the grocery store or just wherever you are, just chatting with strangers always makes me feel like a part of my community. And like, yeah, we're all still okay you know what i mean yeah yeah like talking to people on an airport like or like somebody next to you on an airplane stuff like that i really you got a silver tongue david you know you're it's not your

fault i love it and no and it's just and i just miss like i don't know it just made you made everything feel smaller and not doing that it's like even when you see people on the street, it's like you just I haven't been in a situation where it seems like appropriate. Do you chat somebody? Do you find now when you're at when when you are out and you see somebody else? Do you find they're more paranoid and standoffish or do you think there's like kind of a sense of like, yeah, man, I mean, I don't really go that many places. Right. sense of like yeah man i mean i don't really go that many places right so it's like i go to the grocery store every other week and that is yeah people aren't really it's just not it's not like a loose atmosphere i do get a sense walk around on the street it's like people will be close to

who they're with you know what i mean like you'll see people walking together yeah but like you're still very separate from them it feels like more than ever before i do go out of my way to throw up a peace sign to people yeah to try to replicate this experience and then usually people will do it back and then it like kind of gets that you know and i i do get something these days that i've wanted my entire life which is the bro nod you know because like i have a dog and i'll go around somebody you know we'll try to and we both just like kind of go like this is not because i think you're weird it's because we're doing this thing you know like so like i love that those things are still there but it's not the same as like randomly just starting to talk

to somebody you don't know oh i love getting this is like a weird thing i love getting angry with a stranger like collectively at another thing yeah like hey this guy cut screw this guy i love that yeah it's the greatest especially in an airport line when you see some bullshit happening like some blonde women trying to cut in like the southwest boarding thing and like you just share a look with somebody and then they get kicked back to see boarding group like they should and then you both are just like that's right i feel like you dug around in your brain that's right be 14 and 15 over here what i love seeing rules getting forced like that i just love it oh my god it's the best i just i'm like why do you you knew what were you thinking you're gonna

try to get on the plane now why hey i hate that you know you're not supposed to be really how come i did it just makes me so it's such a silly thing why come i feel like the people that the people that are refusing in smaller ways to participate in the quarantine stuff that we're doing are the same people who go to the airport have the last boarding group go into the boarding lane and then stand there the entire boarding time and then look at everybody like why are they going ahead of me it's the same weird reptile it's a whole family and they're all just like squeezing in the thing like holding their shit like what why do people do that why do people why do they're not doing it anymore no they don't fly a lot there ain't no flying i love it man but i do yeah getting made getting angry with strangers is so fun you're at like a restaurant

and you're like what is this first time a burger king it's like you get a wombat community outrage oh my god that's so fun love it chatting up strangers and your third pick my third pick is something that like when we picked this i was like i didn't even know this was a thing that i missed necessarily but now i realize i do a lot is like uh seeing entire families in public sure does that like something about that because like i don't know that many kids but like you forget that they're out there but then when you're out you ever go to like city walk or someplace where you're like oh there's a whole family why don't you just say city walk city walk you miss city walk no i'm just kidding i was just doing a bit like is this podcast brought to us by

city walk well universal affiliates universal in general uh shout out to frankenstein's monster shout out to the wolf also we're sponsored by lids and bucca inside of city walk i wish oh dude sponsor us it'd be so sick go to either lids or bucca to beppo and order the all family everything and get a hat full of spaghetti by the way yeah that's that's real yeah that's real oh my god that'd be either one you can get that from lindsay bucca yeah yeah they both stock both they both got they share a kitchen but yeah it's just something that i feel like whenever i see that i think like it makes me feel like stuff is going good. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like how bad could life be?

There's all these families out at the beach. Like when we were wherever you're at. Or if we would like drive to the driving range and like, you'd see like eight quinceaneras on the way and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The city's alive. Yeah, it's going okay. It's going good. And then now it's like, I feel like I don't see whole,

cause like you have to be precious with how you go out, you know? So I don't see like whole family units out when I'm out. Right. And if you do see one, you're like, go home. You should be, you're a red zone.

You're a hot spot, you're a vector. That's a grandma. I can see her. You're in a red zone? That'd be sick just to shout gibberish at people. They cut the hard line. Get back to your house from burbank to fucking thousand oaks it's code orange right now i don't know what the hell you

think you're doing sean time for your third pick yeah i miss uh chilling on a patio with a couple drinks oh yeah patio chilling yeah this is that's something that right now is that's what time it is and we would have done that so many times by now because it's nice. Well, it's always nice in LA, but like, you know, just everywhere. It's nice everywhere now. And you can go sit outside on the patio and you're not worried if somebody sits next to you or whatever. I just, I miss it so much.

Just patio chilling in public. Knocking out a hard lean in the chair. Yeah, dude. It's just such a good vibe. Everyone's in a good mood. You can be so loud during the day and nobody cares. It's just that's what you're there for. Just to be loud and have fun. Everyone's smiling.

I miss it. I hope when this is all over, all this just comes back harder than it ever was. It'll come back bit by bit. It's going to take a minute. I hope people don't take this stuff for granted. I'm going through lists in my mind like, okay, so don't ever get bummed on this again.

So, yeah. For sure. That is something that I can't wait to do is just sit on a patio with all my people and hang out and smile. What's your favorite patio? Damn, that's a good question. Well, it used to be the one at the White Owl. That one was so sick. You remember that one back in the day?

That was sweet before they turned into like a bridge and tunnel crowd sort of music place. It was a slight window, this little window and stand up in Portland before we all moved or did whatever, where we'd all do our shows and then we would just meet at the White Owl and like 30 comedians would sit on their patio because it was gigantic. And we just nobody knew about the place. I remember the White Owl. Yeah, they had bridge town festivals there. They also had a $10 cheeseburger beer situation. They sure beer situation and they had some sick t-shirts too yes yeah tons of work in there

all these tatted up fools working there i loved it well the hessians still work there and they still have the good burgers but now it's like i guess in order to make money because they have that huge plot it's like yeah we got to play fucking we got to play jason derulo dance party music which again is fun it's just not what it used to be it's not what you expect the White Owl Social Club to be doing but shout out to them regardless but yeah I miss the patio there it is

it's a good patio Rhea time for your third pick alright cool how many picks in total again? five great okay that helps me that helps me a lot that helps me i'm gonna go with this is gonna be a weird one from to me but uh amusement parks oh wow i was getting i was getting into amusement parks this very past six months i went to san diego and there is like a little

mini coney island thing in san diego that i was fully unaware of even though i've been to san diego so many times i also didn't know that lives down there it's the tiniest little thing but it's like a little coney island thing it has a roller coaster on it and everybody else was yes yeah i know what you're talking about i've been there we went there with arcade and all that shit yeah it's so much fun i had no idea because i just always went to university park or whatever um and everybody wanted to go on this roller coaster and i have been like kind of afraid of them but also not that afraid of them like i had a big roller coaster period when i was 13 and i was like into it and then I lost it I think every great artist has a roller coaster period exactly right and I just didn't keep working that muscle

and so I was like scared of the roller coasters again well you're from Ohio that's roller coaster country right I know cedar point right get to the point Sandusky and we had Geauga Lake we had two major amusement parks within a like 100 mile radius and so I rode the raptor I got stuck on the mantis. I was into it. I was in the Texas twister, like all kinds of shit. David's done all that without a roller coaster involved somehow.

Oh yeah, I got stuck on a Mantis last week. You stuck on a Mantis is a great visual image. That little dude just. I appreciate the pace of the Mantis. Yeah. I just like their speed i love yes like the actual being i love the face of an actual mantis yeah they're like doing tai chi back at you when you're like go moving towards them it's pretty good it's a really good time every step is two steps because

they kind of test it yeah yeah yeah he's got nowhere to be he's a man he's got to get his head chopped off after he has sex he doesn't want to go to that so much so i go on this roller coaster and it was so much fun it was like a tiny little roller coaster i was laughing the whole time i was into it i got off the roller coaster i turned around looked to it and said my compliments to the chef i mean that's just good to say anytime it is that's always perfect everybody wants to hear between that and swish i was gonna say you're out here man great compliments to the swish my compliments to the swish exactly tie that into some socks oh my gosh so i was looking forward to going to uh magic you know magic mountain and all that shit yeah six flags yeah up to five and like getting back into an amusement park period which is not gonna happen no so it's not for a while that's a that's a good call for sure yeah thank you thank you i include disneyland

in that too because like i i love disneyland not so much to have like passes or really spend any money on it at all but I've had a great time every time I go. Disneyland rules. I love those carnivals that they set up in like a Kohl's parking lot. David, yes. You know what I mean? There was one down the street in Highland Park. It was so beautiful at night, all that neon and shit. Oh, they're beautiful. A zipper. It's so much fun.

A zipper just throwing up on some apples spinning around. Come on. Yeah. I love that shit. Yeah, I love it. Winning like a mirror that says Van Halen on top of it. Like, this is my shit, you know? that shit yeah winning like a a mirror that says van halen on top of it like this is my shit you know yeah just eating like a caramel apple yes dude and then an elephant ear oh yeah oh elephant ear funnel cakes sure oh god and like a lemonade that's like this big yeah then you're like oh i gotta pee behind the coals. That's my pick.

I'm getting whistful. That's great. It's time for my third and fourth picks, as it is, as it is. As it is. Fun to see everybody. It is fun to see everybody. For God's sake. But now I'm nervous about how I'm going to close this thing out. Not me, dude.

I miss. me, dude. I miss, Oh God. I just got an email the other day telling me that like I had bought tickets for the waves 10th anniversary concert. He's going to be playing King of, they were going to be playing King of the beach all the way through. And like, I just got so fucking bummed out. I was,

I miss concerts, man. Yeah. I miss man going to a concert especially the summer in the last three years i mean i know you've been in i'm sure you've been going to concerts forever but in the last like three four years i've noticed you specifically like setting time aside and buying nice tickets and like making a night of it going to concerts for sure so i i thought you were gonna pick that some of my some of my happiest memories from the

last few years i took my mom to see paul mccartney dude when we went to me first in the stadium no we were in las vegas i took her to see you yeah so it was a whole big trip it was like i was like weeping at the end of it he like ended dude oh that was some shit i can't believe that i i went with joe kozala he was like you want to to go see Paul McCartney? And I was like, you know what? Yeah, I do. And then I went to Dodger Stadium and so I was like, holy shit, I'm watching the Beatles right now.

It's like watching the Beatles. It is. And I also was like, because he starts playing all these Beatles songs and I was like, wait a minute, because I'm so sick of the Beatles

and I realized it's because I've only ever heard one version of that song the whole time. And then you hear like a different version of, you know, like she loves you or something. It's like, oh, this is actually a really great song. I've only just heard one version of it my entire life. Yeah.

And he's like fucking playing. He's playing around with it a little bit. Playing the shit out of it. Oh, God. It was so fucking fun. They closed. I don't know if they did this at Dodger Stadium, but they closed with the end of Abbey Road. Like.

Oh, no, they did not. They they he closed with live and of abbey road like oh no they did not they they he closed with live and let die that had like a huge oh god yeah it was nuts it was crazy just like fireworks because it was on the field so they were just like pyrotechnics all the way that's great oh it was so fun but oh yeah me first in the gimme gimme's we went to for their like holiday cover concert was amazing we got to mosh that was so fun didn't you go see lcd sound system las jagas connie a bunch yeah uh i just miss it i miss that like positive physical energy like the way you get like like when you're in like not a mosh pit necessarily but sometimes in a mosh pit but also just like the one there was everybody's like loving it and yeah the mosh pit at me first was like so happy i fell down like

helping each other i got knocked down and a couple dudes stopped the whole pit and picked me up and they checked like you good and i was like fuck yeah i'm good and then i kept going nuts it was sick i just love i just miss concerts so much they were they're just so fun it's just like a great night and And like, I love the feeling of walking out afterwards and like you're hearing still not back to normal. You're kind of bleary eyed. Uh huh. Like you feel spent,

but not really, but also like enriched and like filled up simultaneously. I just love it, man. Yep. I'm with you. So that's my third pick. And my fourth pick is going to be,

it's tangentially related to going to a concert. I miss fucking filling up a jukebox at a bar and then walking away. Like you guys are going to be stoked in about five minutes, 12 minutes, 15 minutes, 23 minutes. And it like, I just love that feeling.

I miss it so much. Yeah. That is, yeah, that is the best. Some of the best LA. And you forget about it. You forget about it for a second,

and then you're like, oh, who did this? Some of those LA nights, too, go into the roost where it'd be like, all right, after these probably next two songs, you guys are going to be stoked. And just the anticipation of sitting there, on one end, you're like, what did you play? And on the other end, someone's like,

I ain't going to tell you what I played. You got to wait. And then they're like, is this you? And you're like, this is me. And you're like, have you play and on the other end someone's like i'm gonna tell you what i played you gotta wait and then they're like this is you and you're like this is me and you're like have some more drinks let's do it it is such a blast baby hold on to me whatever will be will be you guys like any money and then i'll tell you what that's the that's the closest i get to 20 not mattering at all is where i'm like oh just right in doesn't matter one bit yeah you know for 20 real quick too it feels like he's not eddie free he's eddie money you know what i mean put it in there when you're hitting play next for every song like seven credits what do i give a rip yeah that is that is part of it this bar is cash only i got money to burn doesn't seem real real. Yes, I want to hear it.

I want to pay $7 for one Carlos Santana song. Play it. Yeah, I want to hear Smooth as a joke in this bar. But yeah. It's worth $7 for sure. Yeah. It's a $7 joke. Absolutely.

I don't need water until Monday. It's fine. It's all good. Yeah, dude. Yeah, so just feeling of a jukebox. I just love that feeling. It's also like, I love the feeling of like, ohbox I just love that feeling it's also like I love the feeling

of like oh we're gonna be at this bar for a minute okay great like cause that's when you go do it you know yeah then you're gonna

like oh we're gonna chill when people are feeling settled and like comfortable I don't fun fact about me I don't love

bar hopping me neither nope I like getting to one I don't like the hop I like getting a table I don't like any nervous or energy or anything so I like to a table I don't like any nervous

energy or anything so I like to be sitting I don't like I don't like going all around post it up for sure second locations that's where problems start introducing themselves every time I've never been known to have a good time in a second location

no just an infinitely weirder time. It's a recipe for disaster. For real. A real time for you. Go ahead, please. I mean, I was going to tell the story about a second location. One time, me and my friends back in Akron, Ohio, decided to go to a second location, which was a house.

After the bar had closed down, we bought a sixpack from the bar and then left and went to a gas station because i was like i need cigarettes and it was three in the morning and you don't need cigarettes at three in the morning you want them but i felt that i did and so i went to a gas station and had to buy them out of like uh this was back in the old days when i did both of these things but um got it out of a lazy susan because that was how late it was you couldn't go into the gas station when i walked up to it nothing was going on at the gas station when i turned around there was a gunfight between five cars and i had a chevy malibu a 1998 chevy malibu full of people that i had to get out of there i got in the car my friend goes gas gas gas i put it in reverse

like whipped it around this caprice classic that was trying to block me in i somehow like fishtailed and then went straight got out of the gas station and then this dude in the back like everybody we were like getting shot at and all this shit and this dude in the back goes pretty good driving and he was a rollerblader sean he was a roller later well that explains. He was a rollerblader. Well, that explains it. Not that there was anything wrong with that. After he said something like that, of course he was. What a chump.

Chumpzilla. Damn. That is Buck for sure. That's my second location story. Fuck it. Hey. I just feel like the second location always has like a lizard. Yeah.

It's not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a faint pee smell a lot of the time. Yeah. Somebody's like, you want to see my gun like no somebody else at the house is up but like about to go to bed yeah yeah yeah somebody clearly is angry about the poor people who just walked in it's like that scene in the basement in zodiac when he's like well i thought you said you lived alone yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly no it's just me my girlfriend and my kids

but it's just us we don't have a roommate yeah dude ria time for your uh fourth pick fourth and my penultimate pick your penultimate penultimate i added a t in there i didn't need to all right so here was my specific pick and i'm going to adjust it to make sense in the draft since it was kind of already chosen mine was is going to a movie unplanned yes now you totally yeah it can it can it works even though he's okay yeah because i didn't pick that i picked new movies i specifically didn't pick going to the theater great awesome thank you sean yeah i mean it applies personally to any sort of activity but but I feel like these days with like, I loved doing this. Of course. For all this shit where you're like, wait, let's go to a movie. And then you just walk there and you see what's playing. Also, if you're somebody like me that like, you know, you know, the times that play in your like at the Los Feliz three in the Vista, I knew when a movie was going to play and then just like going to see the movie that happens to be playing.

Yeah. Not like planning it out and like, we're going to go, which is also fun. But I, I missed the, like, you know what?

I don't have anything to do tonight. Let's go to a movie. Going out for going out sake, man. Yep. Yep. Or you're already out and you make a bigger thing of it. Yeah.

You're like, fuck it. I don't got to go home. What do I got to go? I don't got to do shit. When I gotta go home for? I don't gotta do shit. When I got to Portland, I'd never seen a theater where you could have a beer. And I remember when I got here,

we went to the Baghdad. It was back then. It was a second-round theater. And my roommate was like, yeah, we can go watch Inglourious Bastards, have a couple beers. And I'm like, what? Yeah, let's go. I don't care that I've watched it last week right before I moved. Let's go right now. I just watched it again the other night.

It's so good. But just that thing of like, I wasn't planning on it. Here I am going to a movie right now. I love it. But that's how you find out you like Alita Battle Angel. You know what I mean?

You're like, oh, no idea. I remember. Oh, man, what a Christoph Waltz. One of my... Series we're talking about here. A good memory of when I... I'd known noni in a couple years probably but it was early on in the friendship we were having easter at his house

and a friend of ours was like anybody want to do weed gummies and go watch zero dark 30 and my let's just before you drag my name all the way through the mud my girlfriend at the time was doing easter at my jewish house all right i wasn't doing Easter I've never done Easter he was being a bad juice that day she was doing Easter I think I

flew back in the middle of that party from like some road gig yeah yeah I just I loved it because it was very spontaneous like you guys want to go see Zero Dark Thirty and they're like yup we just walked I think we walked and went and saw Zero Dark because it was very spontaneous. Like, you guys want to go see Zero Dark Thirty? And they're like, yup. I think we walked and went and saw Zero Dark Thirty. It was tight. Oh man, walking to a movie is some shit.

Going to a movie unplanned and then really going ham on all the food. That's what I miss about Highland Park. I lived right around behind that theater so I could just walk up there and just, yeah, whatever the next thing is playing. Movie theaters are one of those calories don't

count places, too. It's in the dark. And I've been known to be like, well, I just want to have dinner and then I fully have dinner afterwards. Or beforehand. I'll just get some popcorn and then it turns into... I love a popcorn dinner, for sure. And that candy's between you, me, and

Dupree, you know what i mean nobody's gotta know sean time for your third or fourth pick uh i miss i miss daps i miss high-fiving and pound just kind of dapping people up i miss i miss a good dap up because now i'm scared to fucking touch people and it's insane that that is it's a bummer because like a dap shoot now it's a huge bummer man yeah like i've been skating with tori and you know we can't we drive separately and we just put this box in a parking lot and we always keep our distance and then yeah we've been landing tricks i've landed a trick the other day i haven't done for like five six years and i couldn't touch him i didn't want to like i didn't want to go make love

to him or anything but i to go make love to him or anything but i kind of wanted like to give him a fist bump or something it would have been tight but we're 20 feet apart like hey that was good job like we're strangers like i just saw a stranger do a cool trick i don't know i just like i like to have people up it's fun you got to figure something out you got to do like a ceremonial bow yeah you know what i mean yeah you like how they buy some fireworks and shoot them off. You should have a Roman candle in your pocket. Yeah, we could have a Roman candle war at a safe distance.

That's fine. Just invest in a hazmat suit. That would be so tight. You tie like a six foot rope around your waist and just have a Roman candle war. They said this is a safe distance. Why am I getting burned? It's not safe when you're having a roman candle war doc anyway yeah just daps i missed i missed that up great david time for your fourth and your final picks as tis it is uh my fourth pick is dancing oh yeah like i didn't do it that often i probably go dancing once every two three months

it's just like the opposite of what this is it's just such a free thing that you do with a bunch of people yeah and it's strangers and it's like when it's done right it's like the most fun in the world you know oh yeah I love watching you dance. You have a fun dance. You dance with very good vibes and I dig it. I dance with my heart, you know? It's how I was raised. You get this like mischievous smile on your face when you dance and it's really funny and cute.

And you just like you have this one move that I can never do, but you do it and it puts me in a good mood all the time. Yeah, that move is a backspin. I practiced hard i do hella backspins yeah i miss dancing man i think it's just that feeling that you were talking about after you come out of a concert that's what i get after you've been dancing all night and it's like 2 30 in the morning and you're like kind of drunk and like really tired. Cause you just been dancing all night and you just go home and you're like, yeah,

I love that feeling. God, God, I miss it. Yeah. You're a little sweaty, but it's all good. You know,

you're about to go get like something to soak up some of the alcohol or just like the calories. Yeah. That night air, especially in the summertime. God damn. Yeah. I miss that a lot that's so beautiful yeah dancing is so fun yeah i miss that and then what's my last one oh i miss the barber shop

ah i was gonna say i miss yeah it's just it's something i do every two weeks and it's like you go in and you check back in with people and they're always talking about some fun shit and it's just like I like keeping my it's like a good way to pass the time it's just like another community you know what I mean also just the feeling of having a haircut is very nice and I miss a lot oh man I miss having a brush

it is getting shaggy my shit is unreal right now I can put it in my mouth dude I can put my hair in my mouth mine's all gone I can't really see it it looks dude. I can put my hair in my mouth. Mine's all gone. I can't really see it. It looks fantastic, Rhea, by the way. Did you do it yourself? That does look good.

No, my girlfriend. There you go. Now I'm lit. Yeah, that looks good. Thank you. My girlfriend did it. It's what? It's nine millimeters on the side and 12 on the top.

Oh, she gave you a four, three clip or fade. 16, yeah yeah 16 and a nine damn perfect yeah i didn't know there were layers to it at home it's a 16 and a nine put a little butter on the bottom pop it in the oven you know my hair is getting semitic it is getting like it is getting really curly my hair is gonna start caring about like keeping our embassy in jerusalem soon i gotta get oh yeah man that i just i didn't realize how much i liked it because I was broke, I never would get my hair cut because I was so broke.

But then since I've been not flat broke, I'm really good at doing it every two weeks. And this has been like, you look in the mirror, you're like, whoa, this isn't what my face is like usually. Yeah. I love it. It's a good call. Sean, time for your final pick. It's weird, and I never thought I would it. It's a good call. Sean, time for your final pick. It's weird, and I never thought I would miss. I saved it for last because it's crazy,

but I miss airports. I never thought I would say that. I love airports. I always liked them, and I'm scared of flying, but I always loved an airport because it's like, for real, there's no rules. You can just have fun at an airport you don't know anybody it's sean kicked a kid when we were at sea tech i just i just think they're so

fun you can just go and it's it's it's got a lot of those elements like david said like small talk with strangers every airport i'm at not on the plane don't you dare talk to me but if we're just sitting we're just sitting eating or having a drink at the bar sure i'll chat you up where you from chattanooga never been tell me about it you know what what sets chattanooga apart you'll chattanooga them up as well yeah chattanooga right now that's a testament to how much it sucks being locked up is that we miss things like the airport that's what i was saying because before most people are like it's a dread to go there now i'm just like dude just give it to me please i like it yeah i've always liked it too as a kid

I always wish that I had a life where I could go to the airport a lot like when we'd like pick somebody up or drop somebody off I'd always be like oh man I wish I was going somewhere that's the thing that I don't want to take for granted when this shit's done because thankfully you know we do get to do stuff like that and I get to travel and

I never you can lose sight of that pretty quick when it's getting old and you have to it's like a hundred dollar taxi ride and all this stuff but in general it's pretty amazing that we get to do that so yeah I just I guess maybe that's more at a deeper level what I miss is just that sense of how cool it was that I got to do that but yeah I miss an airport I like cruising into an airport like in the afternoon but in the morning when you're paying like seven dollars for a coffee next to a guy hot farting into his khakis. I don't miss that.

I feel like that's every flight to New York. Yeah. It's a guy reading the Financial Times hot farting into his khakis next to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Airports. Excellent pick.

Solid. Rhea, your final pick all right my final pick has come to me at this last moment and i cannot believe that it took me till this last moment to get this pick but i'm grateful that it did because better late than never right yeah absolutely my last pick in this fantasy draft of what we missed from the before times is stand-up comedy damn it i love how we all completely spaced that the whole reason we get this life where we get to go to the airport i'm like oh yeah stand up oh that's right i know because i wrote i wrote lids because i was like that's a possibility i did go to lids a lot and then i wrote no it's lift rides it's lift rides because i miss talking to strangers in their car because I learned so much about people and humanity and all kinds of shit.

Talking to people in Lyft rides. But I wouldn't be taking all of those Lyft rides if I wasn't doing stand-up comedy. And that is my final pick in this fantasy draft. Because fuck if I don't miss doing my job. I really fucking miss it and i had no i i definitely took it for granted i was very grateful to be doing it but man it is the one thing that i'm like okay this is the time where you get to really practice gratitude for doing it maybe getting to do it again you know like, like, um, all the things that I've gotten to do in that thing is like, it's,

it's, it's bonkers. And like the people that I've met, the, it's my entire life is all of you guys. I know you through standup comedy. Sure. I think it wasn't like it wouldn't exist without it.

Yeah. Yeah, man. I, it's, it's crazy. And the things that I've gotten to do and see because of stand-up comedy has been amazing. And it is the most fulfilling when I am on stage, and I'm sure you can relate to this,

when I'm on stage and it is working, you could just play forever. When that happens in stand-up and you're just in it and it's just happening and everybody's into it, greatest feeling on the planet. Greatest feeling on the planet. It's insane planet when you're just like in it having a good time you feel like such an unencumbered version of yourself it's so nice 10 feet so great and you can like feel the other people and like it's really just like a whole night of being one with a group of people it's like man there's nothing better it's so good

it's so good and i miss it and i've done like an online thing and it was a lot i had a lot of fun yeah i really like doing it it's very different yeah it's fun but it's great for sure it's so different but i did get a feeling of of like i don't know the inside feeling of like oh i'm good at my job which is a nice feeling to have but it's not the same as like being on stage with people and this is what I really love about stand-up is being on stage but not feeling like you're above anybody. You know, like being on this stage that's like five feet tall and everybody's at the same level.

That is the shit, you know. That's what I love. It's so good. Because your job is to connect with them on a human level. If you're really doing that, yeah, everyone's in it together. Absolutely. Yeah, man. Also the chicken tenders at the

club they're good a lot of the time they're good yeah shout out to the fried pickles at uh comedy on state it's the only safe bet no yeah i yeah yeah it's weird to have your whole life taken like i never saw that coming for stand-up i never thought no i never thought it was gonna be like oh we just won't be able to do it yeah and it was like the first i mean maybe i'm biased because it's my like job or whatever but when i i literally on march 12th when the lockdown like really started to happen i flew to kansas city landed and then found out that they went into a state of emergency i canceled my shows from the airport. I went to the bathroom in the Kansas City airport, which you guys probably know is very

small. Yeah. And then I walked back up to the gate and I said, can you get me on a flight back to Los Angeles? And they were like, didn't you just get off of a flight? I was like, yes, I did. And they were like, this is the last one. And I was like, this one that's that's boarding right now.

And they're like, yes. And I was like, can you get me on right now? And they were like, yes. And I was like, can you get me on this flight? And then they did. Wow. Like, you guys know how miraculous that is. Yeah. I literally got on a flight that was leaving in 28 minutes, and it was $400. That's a miracle.

Yes, David. Yeah. It was a miracle. Like, she was doing, she was like on the phone, did a couple things. She was like, I'm so sorry. Thanks for your patience. I was like, no, please. couple things. She was like, I'm so sorry. Thanks for your patience. I was like, no, please. I'm stoked you're even trying.

And then she got me on the flight, and I flew right back to Los Angeles. It was crazy. We'll add it to Hanukkah. We're going to put that in the Hanukkah Miracles. We'll light a candle for it. That's an amazing pick, of course. Right at the end. I didn't even think of it.

I hadn't even done stand-up in a while before this started, like i don't even know what it's gonna be like when i go back uh it's gonna be good you're gonna be so good i hope so i uh time for my final pick the final pick of the draft i'm going to take getting dim sum it's not really a food that can be delivered like well yeah that's true you kind of got to eat it in the restaurant for it to really like and i just love it it was a thing like oh by the way just because like my mom listens to all of these and i know she's this far into it we took family and friends off the board we're all just a bunch of selfish assholes before we started recording we were like obviously we miss our family and our loved ones

obviously i didn't even think of that obviously if i was just like uh dim sum oh my mom my mom but it's just such a fun communal food i love like getting some food for the table i know this is my second food one but like specifically like dim sum i would go like i would go like with my dad and my sister like in portland or like we would go down here it's just like i really enjoy it having someone wheel up food and then you're like let me take my pick you know it's just a very tactile experience too which you know would is is not de rigueur right now certainly um so yeah, I fucking miss dim sum.

I'm just putting all that chili paste on my plate. Love it. Ugh. Great pick. Anyways, dim sum, final pick and the final pick of the draft, uh,

to recap, David, you went first and you took, uh, appreciating your bed and sleeping rather than sort of, uh, resenting it. If I can put it like that. Your second pick was chatting up strangers. Your third pick was seeing entire families in public.

Your fourth pick was dancing. And your fifth pick was hitting up the barbershop. Stand by that whole team. Excellent picks. Sean, you went second. You took going to the mall. Yep. Stand by that whole team. Excellent picks. Sean, you went second. You took going to the mall, seeing new movies, drinking on a patio

or just hanging out on a patio, dapping people up, and then airports. That could be a day where I had a flight at the end of it. That could be absolutely a day. Sounds like a Tom Cruise movie, personally. Risky business. Rhea, you went third. be an absolutely a day you see sounds like a tom cruise movie personally risky business

uh ria you went third you took baseball baseball ray baseball baseball uh playing pinball amusement parks uh in a spur of the moment unplanned movie trip and then doing stand-up comedy something we've all done for around a decade and somehow forgot i feel like that one that one was a major pick because everyone went out of frame when i said it yeah thisles hard that's hilarious i went last and i took going ham at a restaurant just like really really experiencing every part of the experience uh getting fresh and having a reason to do it like kind of before going out kind of pre-gaming and like getting dressed up uh concerts and then uh i picked filling up a jukebox at a bar and then uh going out for dim sum oh yeah den some you know we'll see what happens after

dim sum and dim sum i love it bud we lost we left a lot of good stuff on the board i mean the entire human experience other than like netflix we left on the board every single thing that you can do i mean i you know i didn't i didn't feel like too much was left out i think we covered it all in one way or another like sports is the big one and just going out to bars we covered just you know stuff being around people man oh shit i forgot what i was going to take before i i was going to take dim sum then i thought of something else then i went back to dim sum going to the office I miss yeah I have that writing jobs and I and I just like we're doing it all over zoom and I'm like this is fun but like I miss I don't know just like little inside jokes with people and like

going to the kitchen and yeah I mean it's all there's in those dark dark chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's you know that is an office candy the ritual that is a studio candy because everybody goes to get craft services from trader joe's oh my god while i'm thinking about it can i do a couple shout outs from people who've just been sending emails and stuff is that all right yeah why not yeah get them in quick i just yeah i just want to do it real quick uh loki and the pretentious camper on ig sent me one of those doc holiday big head thingies and, and he's got one coming for you and David as well. So they're not Doc Holliday, though, and I'm not going to tell you what they are, but you guys are going to love them.

I want to say happy 35th birthday to Bobby on May 23rd. Shout out to Ryan Michael and the Facebook fan page. 242 members are growing. And last one, shout out to Nikki Fortier. Thank you for taking care of Carrie. Carrie is very sick and we wish her well. And we she just wanted you to get a proper shout out and a thank you., thank you for taking care of Carrie. Carrie's very sick, and we wish her well, and she just wanted you to get a proper shout-out and a thank you, so thank you for that.

Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. Shout-out to both of you. I keep forgetting to do that shit, so yeah, I just wanted to get it out. Well, a promise fulfilled. A promise fulfilled. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah.

Well, we want to hear what your picks are. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for holding us down. We appreciate you endlessly. Thank you so much. We'll keep the content coming for you.

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