All Fantasy Everything - Things You Call Someone When You Forgot Their Name (w/ Jamel Johnson)

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

We're wearing short sets in New Orleans, and so should you.Guest:Jamel Johnson (@broccolihouse)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. We'll do another brand new episode of all fantasy everything, the podcast, the fantasy drafts everything and anything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we are drafting things you call people when you forget their name, basically, right? Yeah. Yeah, or when you don't know their name. Fuck.

Why? I was prepared to draft the deli counter. That's okay. I thought that's where we landed. That's fine. I got a bunch. Oh, this is an easy draft. I can go.

No, no, no, no, no. I got a bunch. I'm good. So just so you know. Did I screw that up? Listeners and viewers. No. No.

No. I just misread. At some point in a later day, we are going to be drafting the deli counter. That's just a little tease. Wait, we are drafting a deli counter on today. No, no, at some point later. Okay. In life, it's in life.

That's going to happen. I could probably do the deli counter right now. I think that's what's beautiful about either of these topics is I don't want any one of us could shift into it. You know, I used to run the cheese island. It's how I'm referring to deli counter workers. Absolutely. Each one of these words.

Yeah. It's used for... I was at the deli counter when we decided this last night. I saw Ben Stein. I was saying that. At the... How was he? At the pavilions in West Hollywood.

Did you have a bag of money on him? No. He was in a wheelchair. Damn. And I was like, I think that's Ben Stein. And Alana's like, I think he said happy New Year. And I was like, oh, no. Oh, damn.

Well, but he seemed, he looked, his facially looked good. It was clearly Ben Stein. He's wheelchair aged. You know? Yeah, he's like 80s. Yeah. I looked it up. And then I looked it up because people have seen him in a wheelchair in West Hollywood.

So I said, okay, that's right. Yeah, that was because I've had some. Where did you look that up? Reddit? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Wikipedia.

I just Googled Benstein. But there's been sightings? Yeah. Like a siting section on his Wikipedia? I googled Benstein wheelchair at the same time that I was thinking about that we were doing Delhi counter. You're having a night. I'd love to know what he thinks about the whole Kimmel situation because he was a famous Republican,

but worked with Jimmy Kimmel. Right. and we wouldn't be here without win Ben Stein's money Absolutely not Led to everything Yeah he reportedly Where is it? Ben Stein was in a wheelchair

Due to seeing wheelchairs after canceling One of these says West Hollywood It's weird though because it seems like he's got a little boy Pushing him in this picture Which is kind of I don't really I mean it would be a privilege for anyone to push it That might just maybe I'm a grandson

After school program He knew got the glasses A relation He was a speech writer before he was He was Nixon speech writer And Ford, right? What? Was it Ford as well?

Yeah. I had no idea. I got a deal with Comedy Central? Yeah. No idea. That's what the industry was like back then. Anyone could get a job. Anyone, now it's just David Bore.

That's the only guy getting a check from Comedy Central. I don't even like talking about it, to be honest. Let's keep that feel. Let's keep it low so I can stay. You used to write speeches for Nixon, too. Yeah. And four. And four.

And four. It seems to be a direct pipeline to that Viacom money. I do you. I do feel like, There's less comedians who used to do other shit than there used to be. I know what you're saying by that. Yeah.

Yeah. I heard somebody recently, somebody's, Adam Newman is a therapist now. Oh, yeah. In addition to doing comedy. Oh, he's doing comedy too? And riding the bus? Huh? Does he still ride the bus all the time?

I don't see him over there. I just was on the bus. You are on the bus for real. Yeah. You are on the bus today. It was nice. For you four bus riders, that morning bus, why? I was a little worried.

That is the bus to be on if you're going to be on a bus. I had to get the connection under a bridge, which is like, come on, man. You know, that's a recipe for danger. I know. But it was fine. Today was good. Waiting for a bus under a bridge is not a good feeling. Right.

Yeah. Waiting for anything, waiting for anything under a bridge is a bad. It's tough. Like, it's the worst place to wait for a ride. I don't like if he stopped under a bridge. Yeah. I want to move through. Yeah.

Felt awful. Yeah. You just are like rethinking all your decisions. Yeah. Last time I was down there, a guy pulled upon me with like a lime scooter that was like overdue. Yeah. It was like beeping. Yeah.

Yeah. And then he like had a bunch of questions for me. And I was like, fuck, man. That was God. Yeah. It was God pulling up on an overdue Lime Scooter asking you questions. That's what she looks like. Nice.

How many questions will you answer in a row? Certainly was a girl. Maybe like how many? It depends on how severe. It's true because it's like, man, if you really scary, I'll give you like four. Yeah, I don't want a stonewall someone if they're really. Four is maxed out, though. That's the most tough.

Because you don't want to become that person's go-to. Like, you know, I got myself into, not a scary guy. Did you let him use your phone? No. You never. Oh, yeah. Never. One, never.

Never do that. That's a ridiculous thing to do. When I lived, the first time I lived in LA. Let's draft the bus. I can dress the bus. It's been a while, but it hasn't been that long. Yeah. You know, you've been on the bus.

I've been on the bus. The Portland bus. Ooh. A lawless, a fallen city. Oh. I love a lawless. Shout out to the 91 hour. The first time I lived in L.A.

I lived in South Central. This was when I was like 22, 23 doing the groundlings and everything. Right. And it was like one house in the front, another house in the back. One of those situations. Classic California setup.

Classic California setup. In the front, I lived like lived with these two Teresa and Araseli, who were going to USC. Whoa. Yeah. Did you guys hang out? We hung out a little bit, but they were like, they were, I was fully in the comedy and they were very academic.

They were nice. They were cool, but like, do you think they ever check up on you now to see, like, what happened to, uh? I wonder if they do. We were Facebook friends, but I'm never on there anymore. Yeah. If you, if you're there, hello. I bet you they check. It's pretty easy to check on people.

I check on people all the time. So I'm like if I haven't seen someone like 30 years. But you're a Sean Jordan type and few are. That's true. Thank you. Yeah. I also can't check on people because you realize you didn't actually know. know their name.

Which ties into our topic perfectly. That's true. House in the back was this dude who had been like in and out of, uh, uh, correctional facility. Correctional facilities. Correctional facilities. But I was like, I was like a, you know, like young man coming from Portland, Oregon. I'm like, I'm an, you know, I am not of your communities.

So I wanted to be like as much. I wanted to be, want to be, want to be, want to be gracious myself as much as much as possible. Excuse me, sir. It smells queer in the air. So this guy. I brought you some pomellos from my yard. Would you care A feast of them with me?

And this guy like came up and started using my phone regularly. No! Regularly! Oh my God. That's so tough.

Daily business? Huh? Daily? Like, it got to the point where it was daily and then I would stop opening the door and I moved the TV with Madden on it to my bedroom

as opposed to the living room. That's because now, because Mike, right, did you start getting his calls sometimes? I never got incoming calls. Okay, that's good. But he also often deleted his outgoing calls. Because I would go look.

He doesn't want you seeing the book. No. And he would walk, he grabbed my phone and walk around back to the lot. That's, he just got his ear to the door like, I think that's Madden in the back. I can't tell.

Sounds like a touchdown. It's Jamal Lewis. All right, I'm going to go make some phone calls. That's so funny. Yeah, I got myself in one of those situations. Yeah. On the bus, I got to, so on the bus one time,

it was just me sitting there and the driver and a dude gets on lights up a cigarette and the bus driver goes get off and he's like, fuck you. I'm like, all right, well I'm gonna get off. I'll get off then. You're like, I'm just trying to go to work. I'm not getting off.

I'm just trying to go to work. It was so tough. Some girls bare hand and mashed potatoes another time I was on the bus. Just right next to me, just bare hand and like a tub of mashed potatoes. No, desperately. Desperately.

Oh, yeah. I remember one time getting on the bus it was like five o'clock in the morning. I remember so vividly, it was like five o'clock in the morning. I was leaving my girl's house to go back to my house because I had a flight in San Francisco. I get on the bus. It's like five in the morning.

And I'm not even paying attention. So I just walked past this crazy looking kid. And he's standing and he's like, let me go fuck out. Let me the fuck out. And the bus driver's like, no. He's like pushing on the shit. So the bus driver lets him get out. The guy in front of me looks up.

All his teeth are gone. Okay. The kid robbed him without a gun. And then like just ran off the bus. Mashed him in the face? Mashed his feet. Mashed him out. Whoa.

Oh. He took his phone. Recently lost. He got on the bus with teeth. It was like the altercation had ended as I got on the bus. And I just was, it was five in the morning. I wasn't paying attention. And then the bus driver was like, you need to press motherfucking charges.

And the guy was like, no, no, no. It's okay. I didn't need most of those teeth. I also got three card mollied on the bus one time. What's three card molly? Is that different in the Monty? Yeah. Yeah.

But like I was on it with my friend Andre. RIP. if you're on in the way. If you're working, if you're trying to work cobs and the punchline is three card molly. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But like I, I saw the whole thing happen and I got took. And then my buddy, after we got off the bus, he was like, you know that was a setup,

right? That guy who said they couldn't do it was with the guy doing it. Like, he was like, it's like a three-man's skin. That's a hustle. They get on a different stuff.

They do instead of improv. Huh? That's what they do instead of Grambling. Mm-hmm. and we'll get a three-car money squad together. I think it's probably a skill-similar skill set. Sure. They can easily do that.

Yes. Man, I never thought about that. Because they were good. Because, like, they got me perfect. We should go over to, like, the groundlings right now and try to get a three-card Monty team together. Brother, I would love to get some kind of regular gambling situation set up. One avenue that...

We haven't explored sort of an artful Dodger situation where we run sort of like street gangs of three-card Monty games. Consider yourselves on me. Isn't that the song? Well, yeah, absolutely. Part of the family. Only it's wise to be handy with the rolling pin. When the landlord comes to call.

Don't know where I got that from. At home. We don't want to have no fuss. Just dance when it... I just start dancing when it get there. We are going to get along. Oliver, nothing for you? I've never heard this one.

Oliver Twism, huh? It's crazy because you're basically the artful dog. You are. Is that good? Yeah. He was a really cool kid who liked to steal. Yeah. Yeah, I am.

I bet he also had sex. I used to love to steal. In a modern retelling of Oliver, he would be stealing Mugsy Bokes jersey, much like you. Yeah. Every color. He would be teaching who would faggin me? None of us, I don't think. No, we're not fagging.

I'm not eligible. Yeah. everything's funny I can drink of my coffee The ice was loud I'm your hostee and Carmel Oh, Jamel Johnson is I yesterday Hey, what's up guys

How y'all doing? Absolutely Good man Stand-up comedian, entrepreneur Yeah What's up with those shirts? You know what, man, they offline But I could put them back online

I'm in Yeah, David shows up Everybody listening David shows up yesterday with a Jamel shirt on Just had you on it It's really cool. It's awesome. I'd love it in white.

Shout out to everybody who bought something from the BJS super store, the Brandon Jamel Show at patreon.com. All right. We had some merch. The merch was not super duper cracking. So we moved off the merch. Yeah. But it does still exist.

I was into, do you have any more of that basketball freak merch? You know, we got some shirt. Once again, offline. It's all in the storage, bro. I got some. I go analog. I got money.

I have cash. Yeah, I got the happy basketball. Listen, guys, guys, it's just going to take me a little. a while. Let's go to your storage. To get to the storage. We'll get you a waymo to the storage. Okay. If we can have 10 minutes to pick around. This is like your version of storage war.

I have my own storage war. All I can grab for 10 minutes. We should go do Antiques Roadshow at your storage unit. Listen, you have a pretty good time? It would be an hour's worth of your time, at least. Give me 30 bucks. We get to pick one thing. Did you ever flip that Netflix? I gave you once upon a time.

A bomber, which I regret letting go of. Yeah. It's my one and only bomber jacket, but I did. I ended up, I did flip that one. Yeah, I'm glad it got, I'm glad it went somewhere. I feel like a hundred wears, though. But then people kept asking me like, oh, you did Netflix? And I was like, listen, guys, now I'm false flagging.

It's tough in L.A. Now it's stolen valor. Yeah, it's tough in L.A. Just take this. Speaking of the flip on the reverse, do you think you can get me one of these new Tesla bomber jackets that just have dropped? Tesla bombers. It's a weird thing, but yeah

Make them in our size? No, it's not for me. Okay, I mean, listen, I'll look into it. I didn't even know Tesla was making bomb me. Car company? Yeah, they just dropped. They got them at the diner. You got a slide to the, you got to go to the Tesla diner?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure how to get it. That's why I asked you. That's my first step. It's you or Mel are the two guys I would ask to get this. This is my new mystery to solve. Yeah, I will start at the Tesla diner. And I'll probably wear a little disguise. Who, yeah.

Do you have disguises? I mean, I got a couple wigs I like to throw in. Yeah. Top hat. I forgot that you had that wig. Yeah, I got a few wigs. You and a wig is a sticker on my phone. Yeah, you're kidding me?

I did, uh, what did I do with the wig on? What did you do? You were going quick. I did some comedy. I did like a tape set with a wig on. Yeah. What does this wig look like? Do you guys remember?

It was like a bob. I do remember that. I was doing bobs before COVID. All right, everybody's on bobs now. I was doing a bob in 2019. Was it like the Omaha guy in belly? You were in there before. But it wasn't flipped out.

It was like in. It was like, it was more like bulbous. It was like brown bulbous. I, no, I haven't seen it. Well, if I have a lot of problematic pictures I've seen. What the hell was? It was a JFL set. Yeah.

But I was just hosting. I remember it. I remember seeing I can hold it in my head. Right. I used to rock the turtleneck. I don't know where that turtleneck is. Probably storage. We'll find a later.

My honey mustard colored turtleneck. If we're talking merch, I would like to get myself a clutch hoodie, the kind that Chaunty Billups, got arrested in. Oh, yeah. Exactly. I would like a hoodie with a picture of Chanty Billups in the clutch hoodie. Ew.

Wait, what? I got some weird stickers. What? Oh, hey, yeah, that is me. There you go. The boy. Ah. Yeah, look, bobbed out.

That's a bob right. Yeah. Yeah. That was around the bloker time. Yeah, that was right around the blokeer time. I got a gray wig. I got a brown. I remember the gray wig, too.

I feel like I remember the gray wigs. Steely gray. We should have a wigs episode. I would love to do a wigs episode. I'm trying to get into the mustaches, but I got sensitive skin around here. You're trying to get a fake mustache on top of your real. Wait, I thought you meant real.

It's like you got one. I'm going to do a, yeah, I'm going to cover it with a. Those are tricky. Any like that glued facial hair? Because it's like you move your face so much and it often like will come unravel. I always want to touch it. Yeah, same. That's why I haven't.

But that's the next step. I've done some fake mustache. fake beards. I'd like a braided wig. I'd like that. Like Shamar Moore with the with the cornrows? Like a cornrow wig would be crazy. I didn't know you could do that.

So that's got to have fake scalp on it? I don't. Sounds like you got a long strip. It looks nuts. Isaac, can you pull up Shamar Moore in the cornrow wig? Yeah. Google will know, trust me. Yeah, it won't be too hard.

Can I get like a Snoop Dog murder was the case? giant dukey braid wig you get that? You can't? Yeah, you probably you might have to do it at yourself. You might have to buy a wig and then restyel it.

He's attractive. When I made, when my hair was really long, I straightened it one time. How's that? And I looked a lot like Jamel in the in the bulk coat wig. It was bad.

There's probably pictures of it somewhere. Yeah, your hair is so curly. I bet that was nuts. It was, it looked bad. It was, I looked bad. I don't remember that at all. No, I was like probably 19, 20. That's fucking rad.

Okay. Jeez. That looks like a painting of black Jesus. A little bit. Hair helmet. It's the hair helmet feel. Yeah, that's sick. What is that for?

What did he do that for? What was the Tyler Perry movie? I think, uh, some Tyler Perry movie. Or I can do that all by myself. Something like that. He was the good guy, I promised, because he wasn't of a darker shade. Yeah.

Tyler, I hate that you do it. Dark-skine guy will beat everybody up in a fucking Tyler Perry movie. Every time. Wood Harris's older brother? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, he will beat the shit out of people. He will beat the shit out of somebody in a Tyler Perry.

Leather Harris? Yeah. Lerther Harris. Yeah. Did you say leather Harris? He called leather Harris. She's the guess. It's not a bad one.

I was going to go metal. Peter Harris. Try to think of like colognes. Like, candles for men like kind of with the wood leather, sandal wood, musk Harris. Yeah, yeah. Tobacco Harris. Tobacco Harris.

Tobacco Harris has a corn row wig. And like a bullwhip for some reason? Yeah, yeah, yeah, a aesthetic bullwhip. Yeah. Barry White used to carry a bullwhip. For real? Yeah. Him and his brother.

Do we go and some bar I went to in San Clemente had a whip on him. It's insane. I'm out of that bar. It was insane. I get, because Barry Wright, if he's getting into like some sort of

physical altercation, it's not like he's running. No. Maybe you're trying to, he's like, okay, somebody's trying to take some shit from me. I'm not going to run him down,

but I could Indiana Jones, they ask. There's a quote where he says, he says, I could knock a flea off a dog's ass. Okay, Barry. You know where I read that? My parents had the box set,

don't look into it. And in the insert of the box set. it was like kind of a little bad. That was a little joint that he said? So like if you're Barry White and you have that voice, right? How much work does having that? That's like a God-given, like you were just blessed. So you've got a lot of time in your day.

Right. You might as well learn bullwhip. There's a lot of women you have to be juggling. Sure. But then also bullwipping. At most, that's eight hours a day, right? So he's got another eight. And it's before text.

Yeah. How did people keep up their assorted women before text? Bullwip. Well, yeah, he's, you know, curious. Oh, I didn't mean it like that. I was hoping you were going to say, how did people get in touch with each other? No. But I had the punchline preloaded.

But like, if you were a player in the 70s, you just had to call all these women. Yeah, yeah. And a lot of different tapes. You had a voice machine with hell at cassettes. Oh, man. A lot of, a lot of, like, label your cassettes. Walking into the other room with the kitchen phone. Yeah.

A lot of that. I know Pimpin ain't easy, but it's probably easier today than it ever has been. Yeah. I think it's easier to get caught today, too, though, because of all the paper trails and all the receipts and shit. That is the Horrible Dodger. Sean's had to set up three different apartments with three different addresses under three different names. My name's not Sean. He's on WhatsApp and Byber.

We're living in one of his fictions. One of the leading ethical pimps, Sean Jordan. This isn't a podcast. I started Raya. I practice ethical topology. Ethical Pimp does sound like somebody's boyfriend at Oak. Ethically sourced. Like in the Bay Area.

So, like, part of a pollicule, one of them is an ethical Pim. Somebody's a visual artist, an ethical Pimp. Somebody works in, like, GMOs. He's saying something like, I feed these chickens whole grain. And you're like, I don't know if this is good. Literally? Yeah. Pimp still look like Pimps, huh?

Like they did in the 70s. It still looks the same. I don't think so. No. No. Because remember when we were at the Jay Z concert? That guy didn't look like a Pimp. Yeah, but they were all in like different costumes.

That guy looks like a fucking paintball instructor. Yeah. That was crazy. But they were all wearing costumes, though. I don't feel like that was their. Yeah, but he wasn't dressed as a paintball instructor. He was dressed as like. So do you think like after the concert when they all got out of their costumes,

he wouldn't, he put on like a green feathered hat and like a. I wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised. You know what I think Pimpin is like? I think it's like going to an officer's ball. Yeah. You still have your uniform. but you don't wear it every day.

We see your USMC tattoo. We know what you're all about. But like when you're with the other boys, then we all put it on together. They have their dress. Stars and bars. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're dressed like purples. Time to take out the purple heart. Yeah. Did you get this in Nam? Oakland, actually. Real rough night. Ha! What are we doing?

I mean, in Carmel, that's Sean Jordan. That's David Boren. This is all fantasy and everything. Isaac's on the ones and twos. And the threes. And the threes today. Three's. Look at us. Sean Cougar Mel and Jordan on Instagram. Where can people see you?

Don't tell set. Watch it on YouTube. Share it like it. And I'll be in Omaha. Just cross the billion streams. It's a billion, dude. It's up there with Baby from Justin Bieber. I'll be in Omaha, the funny bone with Kyle Keney in February 20th and 21st, I think. Ooh, that's a good club.

I'll be found one. Have you been there before? Yeah. Yeah, I have. Are you going to have a steak? Yeah, probably. I might have a steak. You're like an Omaha steak.

I've had Omaha steaks. I've had plenty Omaha steaks. Well, have you tapped the source? I've never seen you even eat a steak. I got a steak one time with you. With David? Didn't I? At Alpac Steakhouse?

With David. Are we talking about you do it now? I think sometimes somebody has gotten one of those steaks where it's all cut up like that and you've had a piece of it. Maybe, yeah. I'm not a huge steak guy. I got one at, where'd we go? Lugers, Peter Lugers. That's right.

I got down on that steak. There are very few other options. As we saw Lance Banks encounter. I was pretty pissed. I don't. Steak doesn't do it for me like that. Are you a big meat guy even? I like turkey and chicken.

Steak is just too hard to eat. You like a leam. You like a poultry. Yeah. You like these birds clucking. Back to the pimps out. No, that's what you said. Yeah.

Don't tell set. He's going to be in Omaha. And we'll be in New Orleans. Oh, New Orleans. Come watch it's in New Orleans. Yeah, we're all. going to be in New Orleans. Yeah.

It's crazy. It's my bachelor party. And now we're blocked in. Four episodes in. Lord Jesus. Two days real time. One month podcast time. We don't have to do anything crazy.

Just be out there, be nice. Yeah. I mean, it was going to be like a bachelor party anyway. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I might dress for like Paul Prude home the whole time now that it's going to be a bachelor party. I might get some seersucker.

I have a seersucker. I have a seersucker. I bought a seersucker and then never. was cool enough to wear it out. I got a hand-a-in-in-a-sure sucker. Really? Yeah. From Ivan?

No, no, for my neighbor, Art. Nice. Ivan, well, he got smaller. Otherwise, we would have been around the same size. Ivan, I've seen him get a sear-sucker fit off. A yellow seersucker. The problem was my shit was red. It looked like candy cane.

Can't do that. No. No. Red sear-sucker is not the one. No, it was nuts. I think you want classic, like, light blue searsucker. Is that the official? What makes it Searsucker?

Is it the honeycomb? It's that ribbed? Yeah. fabric yeah okay yeah it's like breathable but it can be baggy is are they baggy it's like free dry fit it's like Searsucker and that's just the name of the fabric so you can wear it any way you want to got what if I get set if you want to do your skin tight how's a play I got some Searsucker shorts for sure really I never got the blazer I don't even know if it's a Searsucker set I just kind of want to get a set

get you a short set you ever see guys on dry fit Searsucker in New Orleans is a great place for set acquisition you could get a set off in New Orleans it actually might be silly to show up with Searsucker to New Orleans. Maybe you want to get it while we're there. Oh. They probably got a, you know. Maybe we take you shop and we get it for you because it's your bachelor party. Is this a weird? Now I'm talking short sets.

Remember when we were all wearing basketball sets? Is that too weird now? Oh, to bring out the, like, full. If I just pull up with like full. You still have a shorts set? You own one? If you're just in a full. The shorts in the jersey. You're like Chris Weber. Do you have a short set? No. I want to see you in a full Andres

Bedrin's Golden State Warriors Jersey shorts. That would be pretty cool. I got a couple of Wizards complete sets obvious. I would. Dude, I got beat up in a Sean Kemp shorts at one time. It was rough. That's the worst one to get beat up in. Was the guy wearing like a Charles Barkley short? Was he a

old... That's the one of... You're like this afterwards. Damn! He's dressed like Kurt Cobain. Hoisted by my own partard. Second, that came up yesterday. Yeah. That phrase. Petard. It's one of the main thing to get hoisted.

Okay. Batchster party one night. Let's have a set night. Okay, shorts us. Short sets, let's go. Yes. All right. That works. I would love to have an excuse to wear a short set.

Oh, because we got Rob today. Rob's going to be, I'm just going to start telling everybody who's going to be down there. Yeah, Rob, listen, Rob's got a few shorts. I know. Now, a short set, is that just a match? Are we doing NBA specifically or is this a matching top, matching short? Whatever you want.

Matching tops bottoms. I got a lot of that. I think that we want to open it up because last year was like Jerseyville, Jersey Mania. Yeah. Now it's set city. Now it's set. Now it's set.

We're going. I'm going to go basketball short set. Throw up your sets. Chabella, let me ask you this. The jersey mania, it did parlay well into some of your own devices. Do you want to seat any ideas? Hey, guys, if y'all want that, just, yeah. Did you leave a bunch of jerseys in the room?

I know. I sold them. Whatever was left over, I took it to Buffalo Exchange, and then I flipped it all for some Jordans. Somebody was like, there's a bunch of jerseys that you must not have left yet. I didn't leave me up and they're like, where all these, it's the only thing in there. You got to figure out what you're long on inventory-wise, and then we can just want to draft that a few weeks beforehand. That's a good call.

Well, draft Jamel T-shirts. I am setting it out, though. Wear short sets. Yeah. See, I like you setting the price. I don't want to be the one trying to capitalize off this magical moment. Yeah. Right.

It was very natural. Yeah, exactly. That just was God. Can I wear a tear-away? Like, does do tear-ways count? Whatever you want. It's just got a match. Territys shorts.

Just know my shit. Probably. Teraway shorts is insane. You're going to have to get those made. I'm asking if Teraway Pants count is a short set. What do you need to get to? You're a flavored underwear.

You wear a frurolups under him Tarely shorts. I can't talk. I don't have a ball gag in the whole time. Oh. I was going to show up in a latex Lederhausen. One of those zipper mouths. It's a set night, right?

What's up, boys? Leader hosen is a set. That is a short set. Absolutely. That counts. If Liederhosen is what you got. I'm dressed like. Catwoman.

Whose bachelor party is this? I'll find someone. If you told me my bachelor party would have a dude dressed like cat woman. This is a hairless albino man's bachelor party. You haven't met him. You will. You'll meet him at midnight.

On Friday. A short set's going to be my skin covered in milk. David Borg is here. Cool guy jokes 77 on Instagram. I'm looking for a fat farm shorts. That'd be crazy. No, it would not.

There's got to be some vintage fat farm. Easily. Well, who knows what they're charging? I think the price is dropping all that. I think they call a heritage one. It's a farm thing. So a heritage fat farm. I was looking at a vintage fooo the other day, and it's like more than I would like it to be.

Yeah. Platinum era. No, before even. The original, just the F.B. Crewnack sweatshirt. Well, you're competing with museums for that. That's true. And L.L.

I think he's got a lot of those on that. That's true. Man, I went to the national black historical figures in Wax Museum in Baltimore. Pretty sure it's... You just did that recently? I did that a couple weeks ago, and they had the Fubu guys. They had all of the owners, including Damon John, as wax figures. Yeah.

It was amazing. Were they wearing Fibu? No. They just heard, they were... Yes, they had Fibu. That's crazy. It's amazing. Listen, if you're near Baltimore...

Baltimore, go. Yes, the parking lot is sketchy. Please go. What do I have to do to get waxed? I feel like you're pretty close, man. You got to be. You've got to be. You've got to be. You're not anywhere near getting waxing, though.

What are you pointing to me? I'm not anywhere near getting waxed. Unless there's like a Portland. You're writing for the Oscars. You're not going to get waxed. In the terms of the four of us, you're probably actually the closest. If there is a Portland comedy wax museum. Yes.

I think you could just get Portland waxed. How much is it? Portland wax. There has to be a way to commission wax to get wax. Well, yeah, anything could be, anything could be had. But I'm wondering how much you think it is. It's got to be expensive to get waxed. Just a wax bus. Then you've got to take a Dexas scan. Right? That's why that's why people are doing that to get waxed. I just my head waxed. Oh, is that what that is. What's your body competence? I wouldn't want to see that this would, I would have to be presented with.

I don't want to be in those meetings where I see my whole body scan. Yeah, that's fair. There's, there's some angles. But they've got to know what your body looks. It looks like if they're going to wax you. Yeah. Do they have penises? Wax a wax figurine? They can't.

They got to have something. They got a bit of a bulge or something. No way. They have boobs. Don't they? Well, boobs isn't the same as penis. I think it's Barbie situation. Flat, flat down there?

Yeah. Unless requested. Some people definitely was like, you got to put a dick on my. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Warren Beatty. Warren Bates has a penis. Yeah, Milton Burrell probably has a penis.

Oh, yeah. Come on, man. Bill Mour was just a penis. Yeah. There's no other one. 42 sounds of dick underneath it. Yeah. Hard city.

Had to meltdown Joshyakabor to make Milton Burrell's penis. We have no space. Hey, you know what we could get is bobble-headed, though? We're all, we could all be bobbled. We're all right on the edge of bobble-haired. Yeah.

Yeah. And not me, because the Wizards are so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Like, if they were a good team, no way. But because of our- I'm up Carrington three times. Exactly.

You can't do it again. You can get bubbled. Yeah. Me with a backpack full of weed and the weed bobbles. Oh, the backpack. You flick the backpack. And it's like, oh, that's fun. What about a cocaine snow globe?

I wouldn't mind that. Ooh, I'd like to be in a snow globe. Yeah, I would too. Just a big nose at the top of it. That'd be sick. You'd just shake it up. It looks like blow. That's all.

That was a good idea. Oh, I didn't get it. Blow globe. A blow globe. Come on. I feel like we're giving away a lot of days. We've been doing it a lot lately, giving away hot shit. Isaac, drop a patent pending on here.

I will, I will. Thank you. Do you have anything to promote? No. Jamel's here. Jamel Johnson. Hey. What do you?

I forget the broccoli house. What's, it's broccoli house and that's like it, bro. I'm off Twitter. I'm off Facebook. I got tired of checking on people. Mm-hmm. Hit me up at Broccoli House on Instagram.

Let me know you're okay. Yeah. That's where I'm at there. And once a month. First Tuesday every month at Blind Barber in Highland Park, a comedy show, a free comedy night in Los Angeles. Come on. Crazy. Come on.

Who could believe such a thing? In L.A.? What? Nothing's free of this city. Uh-uh. And Starful. Yeah, and then, you know, whatever. I got mad a podcast as well.

I don't know when this is coming out, but sorry we love football for your Super Bowl needs. February 5th. Okay, see? Prey football. Yeah, listen, we got a Super Bowl episode that is probably very good. and the Brandon Jamel show and the in season podcast with Rob Hayes Oh and Ain't It Footy

I'm doing soccer now too Amazing back on the soccer Ain't Footy Miles Gray, Chris Martin This is great Is that ain't it funny British British Chris Martin That's so funny Yes

I worked with him at the way He's wonderful Yeah come on man We're all Arsenal fans It's been interesting To get to know a grown up Past cask Past guest

Past guest Past guest Yeah he's grown up Haven't gotten to Noah grown up in a while Yeah Like me and him and him and Miles are not friends, but we all follow the same team.

Miles is cool, too. Just actually getting to know some fools has been interesting, but very fun. My old boss, Ben Winston is now, like, involved in the... We have to, or London will crumble. He was asking me soccer stuff. Oh, okay. What was the way? No, because they're top of the league right now.

Oh. As of recording. Who's your team, Isaac? Brighton. What the fuck? I know, exactly. Brighton? You know what Brighton is?

I do. Brighton Hope Albion. I don't know why you picked Brighton. I just love their recruiting strategy. Yeah, the Washington Wizards of Sox. soccer. Okay. Well, okay. It's reversed. It's actually better than that. Because they just, they bring in guys and then they just increase the value and they flip them. It's very basebally. Right. How they move. But never to, how far up on the table have they been? What's the

sense you've been a fan? I mean, they got into Europe a few seasons back, you know, seventh. If they could have kept any of the nine guys that they flipped. Kaisado, McAllister, yeah. Trussard. Troussard. A whole team of dudes Just floating around the league Just out just like go Yeah go be free

Go be free How do you all keep up with it? Well, because we can't sleep That's what it is I'm just I'm waking up at 4 a.m. Yo, I've been meaning to ask you about that Sometimes I'll text you at like 8 Yeah

And you'll text me back at like 5 a.m. Sometimes I'm waking up with like I'm very curious about I've been really My body is still on East Coast time Yeah You live in California for a long time. Yeah, I've been here for damn there 10 years. But my brain is still waking up 4 a.m.

I can't stop it. Yeah, so that's just it. And, yeah, I watch soccer now to fill in the gaps. Okay. Yeah, I always, because I'll be that. It's so early. It's so early. It's so early.

I had to get into it on account of working with so many British people. My old boss, Ben Winston, is like now part of. Yeah, dude, he's in the fucking Arsenal like ownership team? The brain trust. He's up there. What's up with them tickets, man? I mean, if you're ever over there, let me know.

All right, hey, don't threaten me, man. He's a wonderful man. You should get to know that you guys. He's another adult you can get to know him. You're getting to know adults. That sounds like a great guy to get to know. He's a great guy to get to know. About the money I spent on goddamn Arsenal sweatsuits.

You can at least get you a scarf. I would love to get to know him. Yeah. You might put more money into tickets a year than anybody I know. I swear to God, all these signings. I know I'm contributing. Man. I'm good on the scarf.

I have my east side L.A. Guners. Okay. I got my East Side Gooners scarf. What? Shout out to the East Side Guners. This Gooners predates the gooting of the internet. British Gooners, which had to be a Tottenham. Tottenham's greatest trick was making the word gooners something different in America.

Yeah. Had to be. Oh, like, you think that is like a... It had to be. Conspiracy. A clandestine operation on behalf of it. of totting them to make it jacking off? It's maybe the only thing they've done right.

Wow. That's the only experience of the movie, I believe. Yeah. You haven't heard about the go goooners? Google it. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if anyone would just go beat off.

It's like a lot of beating off. I see. There's a kid. But they like, they identify as beat offers. Yeah. I knew a couple of gooners back in the day. There's a guy I see who's like he's doing like, he's doing like highlight reels for porn stars like they're in the NBA.

That's wild. He's talking about them like they're in the league, bro. I wonder if the porn stars like that. People are crazy. Like a house of highlights for porn stars. There is a... This is not good. There is a young black gentleman who has taken this upon himself.

He is reporting on porn stars like it's ESPN and they got highlights. Like scenes? Or no shams. Well, he's not doing, yeah, he's not doing scenes, but he'll like, he'll, like, pull up a picture of a girl and be like, she is taking the league by storm. She's handling double teams. That's pretty funny. She's already done scenes here and here. Just analytics.

Yeah, he's doing like porn analytics. Boy, there are a lot of lanes out there. Value over replacement. And then P could be any number of words. Tanking is something totally different in that world. I haven't quite figured out what it means to tank in that realm. I mean, Carmell, come see us in New Orleans. All of us.

We'll all be there. be amazing. Bring your shorts set. Bring your short set. Linen. My tearaway shorts. We're here to draft. Yeah. Oh, linen. Yeah. Oh, we have to be a light-fathers. You got to consider linen because you, as the, as the head man, as Mr. Bachelor, I feel like linen is the fabric of bachelorism. Absolutely. Like a golden linen. Golden linen. Whoa. Do they do that? Golden linen? That I haven't heard about before. Steve Harvey probably got one. I bet he's got the only one. If I get If I get linen, I should get some salamander Sandals

I don't know Now we're going to be a little chillier than it was Right? But it's New Orleans It's New Orleans It's the bottom of the map All right It's going to be

It's going to be A little one of juvenile Let me just look up how much How much you think salamander sandals cost I don't know what they are I don't either You do know what they are I don't know

80 bucks Like some gatory Yeah Okay. Like young droves. $110. These are not. These are Haraches.

They're showing me Harachis. Salamander sandals. Is Salamander like a kind of, like a company? They're not made out of salamanders yet. They're like the Unc sandals. They're like the mandals. You know what I'm talking? Oh.

Leather. I see. Like crocodile sanders. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, those things are 112. Those things are pretty icy.

112? 112. That's where the players dwell. That's where the players dwell. Be up and one tweed. easy. Again, you might be bringing sand to the desert. You think?

It could be the place to acquire the shorts set. Yeah, why don't we just go shopping? Yeah. Well, that's true. They got gaiters and stuff. Yeah. They have gaiters. They're on, like, they can locally source gaiters.

It's like Sean bringing a steak to Omaha. What if I get a knit short set? I have a knit short. I'm thinking of wearing a knit shorts. You have to. I got it from corridor. It's bright pink. I also have a yellow one.

Ooh. Damn. They might fit you. The yellow one is a pants set. actually. Shit, there's so many sets. I'm gonna go two-tone. I like that.

But no rompers. I'm talking sets, for real. Nobody's wearing a romper. Okay. If I see someone wearing a romper, I'm gonna take, I'm gonna grab them by the scruff of the neck and walk them into a store.

Yeah. Cutter and a half. Yeah, no romper. Yeah, all you're gonna do is take some scissors to a romper. I really don't like seeing a man in a romper. He wasn't on the romp him? I wasn't on the romp him way.

You tell that to Benson Boone. I'll tell Benson. You will not. Get Benson Boone in this room right now. Benson, come on. Co-host of my comedy show. He's a big romp him guy. Garrick, you know, Garrick was in the romper's?

Garik was for sure into rompers, man. But he's like little, though. He's like a smaller guy. Yeah, that's switches things up a little bit, but I still don't like. Is Garrick little? He's little technically. He's so buff. He's like buff, but and he's bigger than Kevin Hart.

He ain't Kevin Hart's size. But he's like. A lot of these little guys. Same height, me and Garrick. Maybe. Damn, that hurt. That didn't feel great. When I think about it, maybe.

Yeah, I didn't love that. You might have you because he got corals now. You have the presence of a much taller man. It's because I'm loud. The giant. A king. And wait till you see me in this lime green short set from Boohoo men. Ooh.

We are gathered here today to fancy draft things you call someone when you don't know their name. It's going to be great. The way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock. Paper scissors played between the three of you and we throw on shoes. Okay. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Well, two, two scissors.

But he wins an unnatural victory. Odd personnel wins. What? Yeah. The paper we've somehow cut ourselves. Yeah. And then the paper just floats on top of our dead scissors bodies. Keymaster over here.

What? Key master is over. I'd love to change it. It's nine years going strong. It'll be ten. Yeah. I get it, man. Honestly, it's too deep.

I like it. I can't turn this. It's a cruise ship. I can't turn it around fast. That's a steam liner. Yeah. Is that one? A Q Nard line.

Nards? Hell yeah, dude. He'll just give me a high-five for anything. Yeah, I'm fucking with Nards. I love you. Nards? Wolfman's got Nards, too. Yeah.

There's a monster squad, Wolfman's got Nards? Anyone? No. No. Three orange whips. I guarantee you that some people listen at home, but we're like, yeah.

You know the Sean heads? The Sean heads. They're chugging, they're chugging Dorino flavor. The guys who put on duregs to listen to this? The Jordaniacs. Oh, Jordaniacs. Or Danex? Yes, those who get dressed

Listen, it is for sure. I think we should call the Michael Jordan, the Sean Jordan heads, the BJ Armstrongs. That'd be funny. You know, because they're just there riding for you. That'd be funny.

Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate it. What about denim shorts and a denim button up? What the fuck are you talking about? That's like, that's your short set plan? No, that'd be insane.

Okay. It's a little concerning. I'm not going to know. Yeah, it would. It's a lot better on paper right. I'd be so mad if somebody showed up in a denim short set. It is a, it is a, it is the, it is the, it is the, it is It is a fashion that you would be co-opting from the lesbian community.

Butch, hey, listen, he's right, though, but I will be honest. I've been trying to figure out how to, like, bridge that. Yeah. Because it used to be. The gap between you and lesbians. Yeah, me and lesbians. I'm trying to mend that. Yeah.

Because Gene shorts was unk. What happened with you and lesbians? Gene shorts was unk mode. Yeah. Gene shorts was, you was either a 12-year-old boy or you was unc mode. Right. That's true. Well, they're back now.

Listen, the lesbians have moved in. Well, a lot of lesbian fashion is either 12-year-old boy or oncomot as well. But then with putting their own spin on it and taking it in their own direction. I'm not going to lie, I was feeling a little infringed upon when this first, when I felt it happening. Oh, when the lesbians were coming for the denim, I was like, get your own lane. But I think that's not the point. I think we all need to be able to get into the lane, the super highway that is denim shorts. Yeah.

That's true. It belongs to all. There's six lanes, man. Yeah, it's six lanes. you can easily get over. And they're in the HOV lane. That's fine. Yeah.

It's two, yeah, they got two occupants. They both day together. They hold their hands. They got their jeans shorts on. I have no choice here but to speak in generalities. And I apologize for this. There's nuance in every corner. The lesbian community, by and large, in my experience,

defensive, insular. You know what I mean? They protect each other. And they should. I understand it completely. Listen, it's a lesbian basketball pickup game that I cannot get in. They won't let me in.

I also. What? Yeah, it's weird. And I can't ask. I'm not going to keep asking. You're serious? This is like a real thing. How many times have you asked?

Brother, I went to Highland Park Recall? The Highland Park Run. I've heard about this run. How does everybody know about this lesbian basketball run? They be out there. They have a shot clock. They bring out a scoreboard and a big ass Bluetooth speaker. That's great.

It's like Mondays and Thursdays. I was up there every time all summer, man. It's like we live in different cities sometimes. Well, you move to the west side. That's on you. Yeah, there's no, there's no lesbian runs. Yeah, no. And it's also, it's a queer run.

You know what I'm saying? My friend Zirut is in the, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's in the run. Oh, it's a queer run. It's a queer run and they know I'm straight, but it's like, listen, I play gay, though. Yeah. I can play gay. Yeah, your game. I got various play style.

I can play. He goes left. He goes right. Yeah. He's like, I don't need to play context style. I'm not lowering my shoulder. Do they know your. manifesting PJ Tucker out there?

Because if they knew that. See, and I'm trying to show them. I'm trying to just show them the game. I just go out there. I just work on my corner three. I'm just back-to-back, corner-jumper, corner-jump. What if you roll through in the Derek Queen jersey? Tucked into denim jeans.

That might get me over the line. Yeah. But I haven't gotten it yet is the only thing. You know what I think. You need to bring some sand to the beach. You pull up with some hoop and lesbians. Okay. And then be like, gay.

Yeah. And then it's like now we're in on the run. You're saying that like there's just a place to go get that. Well, it would be the island park, rec center. I'm going to be honest. I got the door open to. I didn't know there was a lesbian run seven minutes ago. Just go grab a couple.

From another run. But listen, I've also tried that, by the way. Listen, it was me and two girls who loved the Raiders. We was all playing ball together. We was on the team together. Okay. And we was bawling. Yeah.

We was killing these dudes. Yeah. And I'm like, okay. They got to, we got to be able to call next, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And they picked up, listen, they picked up the baddies. They left me over on the side. Oh no!

It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. I just went back to working on left-hand layups. I just mind my business. I got big. I'm still not in the, if anybody is an admin at loving basketball to queer basketball run. Just let me rock one time.

I swear. I got big sister. What you see. into the lesbian community. Not basketball, but through my older sister got to go to some of these parties. Phenomenal.

Yeah, it's not the way where you're like, ooh, lesbians, but like fucking party. No, they just turn the fuck up. It rules. Like teachers or something. Yeah, yeah, we're nurses.

Yeah. Well, not like nurses. Too hard. Nurses party too hard. I feel like teachers go a little too hard too, though. Yeah, when they get out, when they get out, they go too hard. Teachers, it takes a little more to...

Teachers in the wild are pretty nuts. From what I heard, not my mom. but like because she didn't get into nursing until she was in her 40s you know what I mean sort of later the rookie situation but like nurses go bonkers they can turn up like service industry scary stuff

people who work in yeah see a lot of shit David how you won't be order to be I feel like we've come so far yeah it's true yeah we've just we've covered so many ground so much ground we have there's a lot of windows open you know what I mean

yeah I'm still still thinking about this, I never even thought of a queer run, but of course there's a queer run. Absolutely. They're out there hooping too, dog. I'm like, yo, I got some game for y'all. You need another guard out there. I can do that. I can facilitate.

I'm not trying to score. Is there some comedy people in it? No, no, not that I've seen. No, okay. Serpentie breath. Hey, turn the beats pill up. That guy's here again. Just keeps screaming that he wants to play.

That's how I'd be feeling in my head. Yeah. Because there's always like six or seven of us like, Man, we want to play in full court, too. Y, I got the only court with Nets. Yo, Sam, let us get up in there. So you see her, it'll get him in. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, I'll ask her. Okay, hey. The serpentine draft, what is that? I mean, that's a great question, basically. It's like pressure washing your driveway. Sure. Okay. If you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round.

With that mind, what will the order be? This is the things to call with no names? Yeah. I think this might actually still work with my deli with. It could. There's a couple on there. I think I might not have to change very much. Oh, shit.

I forgot to do a cameo for what I'm pretty sure is an all fantasy everything person. Hold on. Do you do it during the break? We'll do it during the break. Sorry? Sorry? Sorry, I almost never do him anymore. What's the word going to be?

What's the hook going to be? I don't need the hook on this beat. I think he kind of did. He did. Well, yeah. That's the hook. It was a meta-commentary. God damn liar.

I would have just liked a simple... It was a very repetitive beat, too. Yeah, no. He was putting it on the beat. If it was just an R&B singer saying, this with a hook going to be, just that much of a change, even that would have been enough.

You been like, I like this. I like this. Yeah. I mean, also it's just like, Like, Murphy Lee's like capers. I'm so glad. That's great. That's perfect.

I'm so glad when it's in the mix. Yeah. I don't necessarily need a bowl of it so. You're not the bagel? Yeah. You're not the bagel? You know what I'm saying? You're not the ham?

That's how I feel exactly. Nelly is all of that. Nellie's the ham. Nellie's the bagel. Trying to think about other caper situation. Ham and capers? Yeah. I ain't even know they went together.

Is that a cavers? Where do they put on ham? What are those things? Clove. Oh, yeah, the clothes with the pineapple rings. I guess I don't know that many caper situations. It's mostly the bagels and locks. Sometimes E.D. Amin runs them.

I think we drafted capers one time. Yeah. It's for thug life. Stunts? Yeah. I'm just going to go to the couch. All right. David, Chabelle, Ian, Sean.

You keep missing out on the hot corner, though. Hot corner. That's all right. That's all right. I'm a generous lover. The order is David Jamel, Ian, Sean, and we're going to get to that first pick right. after this short break.

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forward slash all fantasy. Get up to 55% off at babel.com forward slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-E-L dot com forward slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may imply and we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only podcast that has ever existed except of course for sorry we love football the in-season pod the brand and a jamel show it was the soccer one ain't it footie ain't it footy didn't you have another soccer one too yeah yeah soccer for americans with ryan connor we did the uh try to ryan connor yeah listen ryan will probably he's gonna be on

ain't it footy oh i love that guy he's still out here chopping him up he has one of my free darko books still the the original one nice yeah i gotta get that from him milich he's got it what he's probably got it displayed there was a a a blog back in the day influential free darko shot at nathaniel friedman it was called the free yeah it was yeah it only darko but free d'n ian milich it was a basketball blog it was an influential basketball blog okay that's okay that's right yeah yeah yeah it's time for to make his first pick in the draft of things you call someone when you either don't know or can't remember their name. Big Dog.

Yeah, you called it. I called it. That's the first one. That's a great first pick. Very important in this group. Everybody can do it. At the deli. That's a huge one.

If we're doing that crossover. Big Dog. You cut that real thin. Yeah. For me. If I call you Big Dog, it doesn't mean that I don't know your name. It's fun to say it to kids too. Yeah.

Oh, Big Dog is real fun. It's everywhere. It's so popular right now. The smaller they are, the better it is. Yeah. Yeah. Big Dog. Throw a wolf on there.

I didn't always love getting called Big Dog. No, no, no. Unless you're in Big Dog. The more Big Dog, you've been forced to wear by your girth. Do you think Big Dog has a short set? Yeah. Yes. Yes, they do.

That might be for the plane. Yeah. It'll be sweat material. Yeah. When you put that on We'll know it's time to leave the porch Yeah I think my dad might have had one

A big dog shorts? I really think so Bad or bum equipment I bet I had a bum equipment I had a bum equipment Whatever Somebody where's that duck You know what I did

Wasn't that a boxer Wasn't like Oscar de la Hoya Bum equipment? Damn maybe Bum equipment was legit For like three years I feel like It was like a legitimate

sporting brand I had a lot of bum equipment. The bum story. We don't know anything about it. You had some bum gear? I think my mom had bum gear. That was reasonably priced gear that was still cool. I don't even know about the price point about bum.

It wasn't expensive. And you could get it at like Sears and Lewis and like Walgrey. Started in a garage in Seattle in 1986. It's like the Nirvana. So maybe we were early on bum because we were Northwestern. Oh. Anything about Oscar Dela Holt. in here so I guess I made that up.

Didn't he fight for bum? It might have been Diego Corrales. It was somebody. Somebody was wearing that stuff. Sponsored by Oscar de la Hoya. Okay. So he was in the bum game. Yeah, he was in the bum game. Does the bomb game for something?

It has to. Be up, man. Here is a Oscar de La Jolla bum equipment sweat set. $300. Vintage. $300? That might be for the plane. That's your bad thing.

That's the Delta Lounge. You've got a first class in the bomb equipment. They have a Hall of Fame section on there where there's Rihanna wearing a bum equipment shirt. Dillie Ray Cyrus, Oscar de Aloha, Jaliel White. That's my Rushmore. Lil Ali. That's a fun dinner.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it had a hell of bum. Yeah, big dog. I think everybody had bum at some point. I might have, I'm not, man. In you see, it might have been, it might have been racially divided. We might have had to did something

I feel like we were like We were drawing weird lines with gear You guys ever have hypercolor? You remember that? Yeah, I remember it Would change colors? They glow or whatever I had a few of those

Yeah, a little bit of that With the lizard on it It was like a lizard on the side? No I know what you're talking about My shit just said hypercolor Yeah, yeah, it did There was a gecko

There was a gecko Yeah, I thought you were still talking about hypercology Oh, I like gecko Was that not hypercolor? Was that not hypercolor? Hypercolor is a technology You're not a clothing brand, right? It was a clothing brand that as far as I remember.

I had a couple sweatshirts that one would like green to yellow and the other one was pink to purple. But it just said hypercolor in like funky letters. That was it. It's a heat, heat sensitive. Oh, with a line of clothing.

Yeah, T-shirts and whatnot. Yeah, that was a big thing. Put your handprint on different color. Pretty cool. Oh. Well, either way,

Big dog. Big dog. Yeah, I mean, listen, it goes so many different directions. It's positive. Intergenerational. Right.

It is intergenerational. Call it an old guy big dog? That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. calling a young guy I feel like it immediately breaks down walls too I might start calling my son Big Dog

I call my nephew Big Dog It's fun He's right that age He could It's fun calling him when he doesn't You know he doesn't get it Yeah Like what's up big dog

He's just laying there Being a big Big Doug Jamel your first Beck I think I gotta go with bro Bro Bro that's huge Yeah

I don't like where bro has gone Generally Yes I don't know It's taken some It came too specific Yeah and it's like an internet thing that I don't love,

but come on, bro, it's just got, it's got almost as much function as Big Dog. Yeah. I would say it's got more, I think Big Dog has more heft, and it's easier to yell from a distance. Bro in any situation. Bro is more dude specific than Big Dog.

I feel I could. No, wait a minute, are you calling a woman Big Dog? You can. I would not. Which one? There's the Big Dog. Besides Blair is the Big Dog. She gave it to herself.

I don't know if I would go around Lucy, Goosey calling people with a big dog. I'm called Blair, I'm called Blair is a bro. Yeah, I'm old love. Blair is big, bro. Big time, bro. Easy. Bro.

Hey, bro, you got a. I don't know if I would be at Warby Parker and getting helped with my contact lenses and call the woman there big dogs. I think I called Blair. Let me get those ones off the top. How do you feel about these big dogs? It's just a girl working the camera. I was calling girls bro.

I was trying to, it was like, it was like Ed from a Good Burger Logic. Yeah. Where I'm like, hey, if I would say bro to my bro, let me say bro to my. Do you my bro too? We're all bro. The way I'm saying, bro is not,

it's not because I think you should be a man or something. It's a energy. Yeah, you're right. And I don't think it's fair that bros got co-opted because they made it this small thing when it was always a big thing. Yeah, it's a lot of bros. And a lot of girls did not like.

They were like, stop calling me that. I'm like, bro. Especially if it's been well established. I can't, bro. And we have no romantic designs upon each other. Why can't I call you bro? I literally respect you on some bro shit. Like, what's the problem?

I never once tried to hit. We go out. We do nice things. What's up, bro? I think it's an honorific. Yeah. Yeah. I agree 100%.

I'll call it. Yeah, bro, I will use in any situation. It's like a real, it's like I got a million of these. You know, like, I can get bro out to almost anyone. Can you be, bro can be mad too. Big dog can't, you can't really be mad at, like, if someone cuts you up and trapped. What's up, big dog? Yeah.

And it's like not, yeah, bro is like, you can get to the, to the upsetness a little faster. Yeah. One syllable. Like, bro. Bro. Bro. You can be disappointed with bro. Yeah.

It can be the last thing you say several times in a row before you get punched in the face. Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, and then you're like, yeah. If there's, if the bros are motorboating, if the bees on. on the bros are motorboat and shit's going bad. That's bad. Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. You're about to back into a... I backed into a tree and I broke Laura's tail light.

If I had been there watching, I would have said bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Yeah. And specifically when it's somebody I don't know, it's also, hey, bro, this my... I like to use bro when I forget somebody's name and I have a go-between to figure out the name. Yes. Right.

Hey, bro, this is my friend David. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meet my friend David, bro. Right. Hey, man, I'm David. What's your name? That's like, come on. Or bro is when I didn't have to know your name, but now I'm bringing it in.

Like, I'm at a sandwich shop. Bro, this is my buddy Jamel. Yeah. When somebody blows that, when you like give them that perfect pocket pass and they blow the fucking layup. I don't even understand how you blow it. So now I got to say, I don't know your name. Yeah. That's what you're making me do.

I don't know you. I don't know you got one job, bro. Ask them what they name is. This is my friend. Like, when else does that happen? Do you ever act like, so sometimes I'll be like, yeah, this is Ian, and then I'll act like I got a text or something and leave it up to them to be like, oh, hi, Ian, I'm Jason.

Sorry, I've never met you. You have to. Yep. You have to. Oh, I was going to be one of my picks. I'll set it up. Have you guys met? Yeah.

And then. And then let them do it. And then now you know that that is Jason. I go so over the top of it. I introduce myself to almost everyone that I'd meet. Like, if I'm with Laura, I will just assume that she has no idea who we're talking to. Your wife, you're talking to my hand. Yeah. And I will always, like if she meets someone at the store, they run into each other immediately. Hey, what's up? I'm Sean. I'm Laura's husband. Just to fill

that just to make a not awkward. Oh, you're a great guy. Yep. Just so she doesn't even have to do that, you know? Yeah. I think everybody should be doing that, by the way. We should. Yeah. We all should. I'm in favor of name tags. All the time. Like in almost any situation, why not? Women, not for women. I don't think you should have to wear them. Obviously, that's fraught. But like, dudes. Let's all just start wearing name tags. Yeah. I wouldn't mind it. Especially if your name isn't like Remy or some shit that I'm going to remember.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of Steve's, man. You know how many goddamn Joshes are in this industry? I got to remember every Josh. How many Josh is working headgum? Yeah. Every studio got six Josh.

Yeah. Every studio's got six Josh. I can't keep trying that many Joshes. No, it's too many Joshes. Bro is great. That's a first round pick for sure. Mm-hmm. Time for my, time for my first pick.

All right. I'm going to go with man. Yeah. Yeah. It's not flashy, but I say it all that. What's that man? Oh, hey, man. Yeah.

Oh, good to see you, man. Like that. You can put some real affection on it. Yeah. You can put some real affection on it. Man. Like, he's, man. What's you?

Get a nice, that nice steak in front of you. Man. I answer a text like that. Man. It's a positive. It's like, for the most part, like you're, bro, like again, in a conflict. Man, not so much. You want to go.

man, that doesn't feel right. That sounds like it's going to be a weak fight. Yeah. But like, what's up, man? I just throw it out a lot, I throw it out in a lot of situations. It feels affectionate. Like, it's almost doesn't exist. The word, it almost doesn't exist when you say it. You know what I mean? And that's

what I'm looking for in this situation. Now, you are taking man, not my man or Big Man. Absolutely. I mean, those are still on the board. Oh, Big Man and my man, I was going to give him all. What? No. Well, those are different. Those are, I think those are different. I think those are pretty different.

Those are different. Yeah, yeah. I mean, hey, I could make an argument for anything. I'm leaving, I am explicitly leaving on those boards because that goes on the board. Because I believe those are different energies. This is, this is not a flash you pick.

This is a offensive lineman. This is a left tackle. I need it on my lineup. Something like that you can use in any situation. Oh, yeah. Man's going to protect your blind side. Absolutely. You know, we,

I don't, this is probably relatable to everyone, but especially in what we do, where you do like sort of a public-facing thing. So a lot of people know who, I don't think this is egotistical or conceited. A lot of people know who you are. And you don't know them.

That's literally good. Yeah. Yeah. So you need man. You need bro. You need, you know, like. Yeah, because we can cut through it so we don't have to do the whole thing. Yeah.

Yeah. It's never anything personal. But if I've met someone like one time after a show and then they come up in another show, like I won't always remember, but they come with that energy where it's like, we've met before. Yeah. Man's getting through that. Oh, yeah.

LA's the king of you've met me like six times. Yeah. Well, obviously you didn't make a good impression. Yeah. Can you imagine saying that to someone? I can't even wrap my mind. I've had people say it to me a lot of times. Me too, but like, can you imagine being like, oh, you've met me a bunch?

That sounds crazy to me. I know they do, but I'm saying, can you imagine saying it to someone? In LA mostly, though, that's where... That's why I wear the wigs, man. Because if you see me and I got a wig going, I'm not who you saw. No, you're the different guy. I'm a different guy. a different guy,

bro. That's why I keep the wings. Sean, I'm for your first and second picks. We'll go, dude. Yeah, you know,

just a utility player off top. But that, that I have, I call Max dude all the time and she gets mad about it. And it's same thing with bro where I'm like, you just might, you're my buddy.

You're my, you know, I can call you dude. It doesn't mean you're a guy. It's just like, what's up, dude? I,

you know. Yeah. Dude is a versatile word. Also, sometimes it's all, it's weird because I don't feel like there is, Is there a feminine dude?

Like when I think, sometimes you hear women be like, don't call me dude. But it's like there's not like a familiar. I'm of the belief that that should be a gender neutral word. I think it. You try it. Like bro. You try to make a gender neutral. That's the whole thing.

Here we are. Four dudes. There's girls. We're going to figure it out. But no, you hear girls call each other dude all the time. It's great. Yeah. Some.

Yeah, some. Not all. I don't think your wife does it. My wife doesn't do it. Laura gets bummed when I call her dude. The. It'll happen sometimes where it's, if I'm just not thinking, I'm like, oh, like, she'll say she drops a dish or something.

I'm like, oh, dude. And she'll, that. She's like, I'm not a dude. Don't do that. The etymology of dude is, it means, it means like a fashionable man. It was originally what it was. I did know that. I just read some book and they were like, who's the dude?

You know, some cool guy walked in or something. It may have derived from doodle. as in Yankee doodle dandy. And is it a positive also? Like, I remember it coming up and back to the future three and it wasn't necessarily positive. Well, when they were calling... Dude Ranch, that's like someone who goes and pretends

to dress up like a cowboy. Yeah. But Guy is from Guy Fox, right? Yeah. Who blew up Parliament? Yep. Well, that's hard. And then people thought he was so cool

they started calling people guys. Is that right? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. That's where Guy comes from. Early Luigi. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Should we start calling each other Luigi? It's too long. I've been trying to, I would try to. It didn't.

But Ouija? It didn't go great. Call me Wige. Wege. What's up? Wario. What's up? Wege.

Dude, and then your second pick. I'll say Playboy. You will say. You will say playboy. I will say I like that you do it. I don't want it catching on huge. No. I think that's the fun part about it.

Yeah. It's like nice that just you say. It's really. It's really. No one else. doing it. I just think it's, I love doing it. I think it's very fun. You got in on that when the real estate was real cheap. Yeah. That's true. Playboy Island.

What's up, Playboy? And now you run the neighborhood. Because it was like, even Diddy stop saying it. When he got off the shiny suits. Yeah. There was no more Playboy. I mean, it was just barren. It got it from Chappelle's show, Dew and Diddy was like, what's that playboy? Like that. Right. So that was, I was 21, 22. I feel like you, free drinks deep after a show calling a lot of people's Playboy. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you bring it down, it is a crazy thing to call the guy. Yeah. Why it's so fun. It really works. And a lot of, so these things, if you can't quite remember someone's name, that's very endearing to where someone might think, oh, well, at least we know each other. It's just, my name is escaping him right now. Yeah. Yeah.

But he's, you know, he likes me. You're making it very clear that you're happy to see him. Yeah. Yeah. And it just, I can't remember if it's Clint or Jason or what. Did you put you started, what was the first time? Do you remember the first era you started calling people playboy? Was it after?

It was after you saw it. I mean, probably that night. And you were just like, I honestly would bet it was me and Shane, a different chain in the Adam, Denver Adam. We just, I'm pretty sure latched on and I'm the one who kept it after like that night. You watch it, you're like, I'm going to start calling people. Yeah, I bet you that's what happened. Yeah.

Like, that's funny. I bet you not a lot of people are going to be saying it like that. I'll take it. I don't think I've ever called anyone playboy. I certainly have. I've pulled out a Playboy every now and again. Often in text more than I'll say it, but I'll write it. Sean Patton one time asked me is like, can I use that and stand up?

I was like, if you want to, if you want to act like, you do that, sure. Yeah. Okay. And he's like, all right, all right, all right. If you want to be me, you sure. This is not a problem. I just put my hands on the front like, that's how you want to be. It's time for my second pick.

I like that. This is fun. Okay. Okay. I mean, there's still some big. You did. I wrong. Okay.

I'm gonna take buddies. I'm taking buddy. All right. What's that? And I thought I'd make it back. I don't ever use that for some reason. I don't know why. I don't really say buddy.

Buddy. Buddy. Bud and buddy, right? Bud, bud, bud and buddy. It's an important in white culture. Yeah. Buddies, you need buddy a little more when you white, I think. Absolutely.

Well, Denver is a big bud culture. Yeah. I'm from Denver, bud. That's okay. That's Midwestern. That's inside the mountains. Sometimes I feel like people. You do bud a lot.

You do bud. And I feel like people think I'm being condescending. And I'll even in a text from like, sorry, I just called you bud like four time. It's not. Whoa there, bud. Hey, he's up there, bud. But buddy is a west coast. I think, yeah, a little more.

But probably a little more coastal. We can see the ocean. So we say buddy. And you can, you know, buddy. You can, you know, buddy. You can get spicy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I think a buddy is bad.

It can be. Buddy is a great way to describe when you're telling a story about somebody who you don't know. Oh yeah. Buddy had a dumbass hat on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see old buddy when he fell down to fucking stairs? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's got a little bit more of a, it places it has status built into it. When you call someone buddy, little bit, you're putting yourself up here and them down there. I think so for sure. Little bit. It's little buddy. Yeah. It's little buddy. It's never big buddy.

It's never big buddy. It's never been Big Buddy once. There's no Big Buddy. What's a big buddy? Yeah, that's, I might get on that. That would be, that's a brand new start. Big Buddy's good. Big Buddy is nuts.

Yo, look at Big Buddy over here. Yeah. But I will say, Big Buddy sounds like you're calling him a fat guy. Sure. It does. But I would say like, what's up, buddy? Like that.

That has no venom in what time. I'll tell you what. I like it. It makes me feel good. You say that a lot. Makes me feel good when you do it. Yeah. Immediately sets this like,

hey, I'm in a great mood. Yeah. You're happy to see someone. Right. It does. It lets you know I'm at ease. Here's how my day is going. What's up, buddy? What's up, buddy?

Yeah. Good. I agree. You do know my name, though, right? Mel, come here, up there. Okay. While the bees are going off the board, what's up, baby? Baby. Oh, that's good.

Baby, baby, baby. It's funny because that's one I do almost exclusively to men. Yeah. Same. Oh, yeah. I've slept the baby on somebody yesterday. Can't remember who it was. Your wife?

No. Well, her every now and that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it is. To say nuance again, it's nuanced if you're going to call a woman baby. Yeah. It's not as casual. It has to be a paramour.

It doesn't have to be, but. For me. Yeah. I think it probably plays at strip club type gentleman type establishment. Oh, yeah. Hey, baby. Call Camel Mangiani baby yesterday. Okay.

Yeah. In text? In text, when he was canceling on our podcast. Hey, it's all good, baby. That's all right. That's a great one. That's a baby. Yeah.

Oh, you can't make it. We're good. Baby, baby. Oh, you can't make it. No. It's not good, baby. It's a podcast.

I say it all the time when somebody's calling out on the comedy show. Yeah. We all right, baby. It's all right, baby. It's all right, baby. Yeah. It's a thousand comics out here. It's cool.

You can't make it, baby. We float the sea of them. Yeah. You get Baby, Baby, Baby, which is one of the best songs ever recorded. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry, baby, baby.

Ashanti's Baby, Baby, Baby, Yeah. Also a great baby, baby, baby. Yeah, Brandy Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, oh, don't you know that you are so fine? You get Baby Doll on this? You get Baby Dog? Do you get Baby Doll?

What's a baby doll? I have started, I'll say Baby Doll. I've seen you Baby Doll. I've seen you baby doll. I've seen you baby doll. I'll pull it out at the pickup. I like that. At the queer run?

That's why they're not letting you in. I'm doing that at the straight run. And then when I show up to the queer run, I'm like, yo, I got your lingo. I say, baby. That would be hard as hell. You're talking to some dude. This is me calling that baby doll.

I'm not. You know what I'm with y'all? If you're like facing off against like someone's trying to garden, you're like, what's up, baby doll? Just some guy that would be you get his kitchen real quick with that. That is pretty cool. You get in his kitchen real quick with that. Also an underrated Tony, Tony Tony song, Baby doll.

Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Had a girlfriend got mad at me for calling her baby doll ones. Really? Not undeniably. She thought it was like an exclusive to her, like, I made it up and she was baby doll.

And I'm like, oh, you know, no. Were you greasers? It's amazing. Were you like working? Can I say that? I've known this. This is, I've seen this happen in my life.

A lot of times where like a woman I know, her man gives her an unoriginal nickname and she thinks it's cute. Sure. She's like, he calls me Little T. It's like, your name is Tanya. Yeah.

It's not even. Yeah. He didn't even work on that. You're just in love. That's okay. And maybe this is coming from a dude who's hating. Yeah. Maybe I'm hate.

Maybe I'm hate. I know what I'm so many girls and she's like, he calls me B and it's like, yeah, your name's Brandy. Yeah. Just because this boat is launching from a port of hate doesn't mean it is not a good chip. I wrote you three notebooks of poetry. Oh, no. He calls me boo-boo.

Oh, right. He's heard us he's seen a movie before. I compared you to the ecstasy of someone canceling plans. Baby's got so much range. Yeah, baby's got a lot of range. And it's a good one to use when I'm happy to see a stranger. Yeah, it's good when it's fired up. Baby, what's up?

Baby! Yeah, it's exciting. We out here, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always nice. Yeah, baby is good. Baby is good. David, turn for your second and third picks.

Oh, I'm a big, I think we started this in high school probably, pal. Pau. You love Pau. You are a pal guy. Yeah. I say Pau a lot. Yeah. I don't know, pal around.

Just like, ah, pal, I'm not going to. I just, I'm sorry, pal. Yeah. I ain't got a pal. I don't think I've ever called someone, pal. Really? That's another one. Yeah.

It makes me feel good when you say that. I think we started it when we were kids because Sam does it too. Yeah, he does. Like, yeah. Because you don't say that to someone you don't like. So I get, I get, I'm happy when you say. What's up, pal? Now, he doesn't.

One cook. Hey, pal. What'd you say, pal? Like that? That's my fucking. parking spot, pal. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which with baby, that's my fucking parking spot, baby. There's a line, baby. Honestly, that was kind of cool. That was kind of cool. That was kind of cool. You took those grape nuts out of my cart, baby? I saw myself grab the last box and put it in the cart.

You took them out of my cart, baby? I dare you. You go to the gallery and run that on someone. You eating grape nuts out of my box, playboy? These can all be bad if you want them to. But it has to be grape nuts related, for me. Okay. Because I started with Big Dog, do I also get doggy, or is that different?

That's different. Actually, here's one I like sometimes that doesn't come out too often, but is always like a positive. It's never a negative. Brody. I like Brody a lot. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's brocoded, but it's a little different. It's a little bit of a flare. Yeah. It's got an accent on it. Brody's like even a little closer. Brody's a little nicer, I think. It's a little softer. Yeah.

Great way to, uh, it's like two people you don't know. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Him and Brody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brody's one of those ones where it can be tougher for a white guy to say. Really? I think so. Brady. What's up, Brady?

Because white guys made it a real. name. Yeah. That's what happened. I think that's the... That's what happened. That's nuts. They ran with it.

You named your kid. Yeah. Your son's name is pal. What the fuck are we doing now? Let's make Playboy a real name. You start. Soon. Listen.

University Alabama's looking at a couple of Playboys right now. Playboy Gutierrez out of Holland, Texas. They do not like how the playoffs ended for them. Looking for Playboy as we speak. Boyce. Yeah. It's tight. Playboy McKinstry.

Brody's always nice. Like my barber says Brody. My new barb. Yeah. I had to upgrade from that last guy I was telling you about the guy with the deal. Yeah. Okay. It, man, I'll tell this little aside, I was so pissed.

He calls me. I'm on my way to the shop, right? Yeah. And he calls me. He's like, hey, this guy came and said, he'll give me $150. If I cut him right now. Do you mind? I was like, no.

I got shit. to do. And I hear him on the phone go, he don't want me to get my $150 bucks. Come on. Ah, man, he put the pressure on you. Come on. Wait, fuck that. But what I pulled up and got my cut? The man

who I assume was his cousin was sitting there angry eyeballed me the whole time. I was like, sick a dick, bro. How much does your normal haircut cost? 50 bucks. And how long does it take? About hour and 10? Is that right? 45 to an hour 10. It depends on if they're on the

It's 45 if they're not on the phone. What's on TV? It's an hour and 10 if it's on the phone. Is Trump talking? Because now it's a lot. Yeah, listen. If there's something, if they got it on CNN, that's a pitfall. Yeah.

If there's a good movie on, like all the lines in the movie, that might throw it off. The Trump commentary never what you thought. Now you're sitting down halfway through. They're trying to get my nigga Trump and you're like, oh, no. What do you mean? I mean, bro. What are you doing about? I just want to get out of here.

It's just like dead silent when I get my hair again. Yeah, that's real as fuck. I'll have conversations, but they're not like that. There's no TV on. There's also, this is, I, there are white guys who have the same dude cut their hair every time. Or have a relationship with a barber. Yeah. Far more rare in our community, I'll say that.

It does seem like there's not a lot of loyalty. No. It's a lot of like, that's a stranger every time. Close to my house. See, yeah. And whoever's working. It was literally the thing I was the most worried about moving back to a, LA about. Yeah. Finding it, finding something to cut your head. Because did you ever go to

sauce money? Did any guys ever go to my barbershop? It was perfect. Everybody was funny. In Denver? Yeah, it was so good. What's it called? Shout them out. Sauce money. Shout to sauce money. Oh, this was up on. Yeah. In Denver. Oh, okay. I was about to say. No, because here before I moved, we used to go to the same shop for a while. In the Cut, North Hollywood. Wild shop. It was nuts. In the cut was wild. It was a little too wild. They was in there filming sketches and stuff. Yeah. They were selling clothes. And like life and life insurance. It was too big.

You could get a sweatsuit and get an insurance policy. Yeah. Yeah. It was a little wild. It was a little wild. And you knew it was too wild because there was a guy who was a comedian and I never brought up that I was a comedian. Right.

I was just like, yeah, this ain't even. Yeah. You'd always be in two different ecosystems entirely. One time he was talking about going to a city to go to a barber convention and then do comedy. And I was like, hey. Orlando sounds lovely. Have a great time.

Anyways, I was just saying my new barber calls me Brody. There it is. Jamel, your third pick. You know what? I'm feeling compelled. I don't think this was going to go off anybody's board, but a little local one is for my DC guys for Trey Young. Slim.

Slim. Slim. That's a good one. You guys really have your own stuff out there. Yeah, Slim is for sure somebody. You're definitely using that when you don't know the person's name. Yeah. or you're like filming them against their will.

There's a lot of videos from home of dudes getting filmed. Like what you got on right now, Slim? Slim, where you get them shoes from? Slim. There's a lot of that happening. That's very funny. That's amazing. That's got to be south adjacent, yeah.

Yeah, Slim's got a little bit of gender neutrality. You can for sure call any kind of person Slim. It's a little... slime related at all? Do you think there's like a, it's some sort of like connected tissue there? Yeah. A little bit, but I don't think so.

I don't think so. I feel like Slim's way before slime. I remember when, and Will Smith was using it, remember when he was calling chick Slimies? I, oh my gosh. I'm so glad you said that.

Yes, I do. And it never, it's the only, it's the only miss he had from 90 to 2000. It never really materialized. He was calling him Slimies and nobody liked it. And it's gross. It sounds a weird thing to call someone.

It's not sex. It sounds so close to slimy. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it evokes a very thin person. Listen, you can. No, you're fine. Maybe not as curvation.

You're like, you know, like you don't want like, you know, I'm hoping for some sort of, you know, voluptuousness. But. But I think it's a nice one. It's a curveball you could throw to a lady. Like, out in a bar. She might like it. She might like it.

She might be like it. Everyone wants to look slim. Because they got a different, they got a different, yeah. I didn't even like the way I did it, but. But it's available if you want to. I feel like I'm walking down an icy driveway. You're not. You're not.

Not even racially. Just in terms of gender. What did that say? It's time to go to break. He has a little sign that says time to go to break. All right. We'll be right back, folks. Oh, you have one new can in parentheses.

It's even polite. He goes. Ian was going. I got your break right here. As he put a, like, hey. And mine has a fun little aside as well. I even tried. I tried to throw it.

When you brought it up, I was like, I'll just take it. They threw that shit in the trash. It's so funny that he said Slimies. Do you guys, there's like several episodes of Fresh Prince. I don't remember that.

He was always calling girls Slimy. Oh, he was doing it back then. Yeah. Back when he could set a trend. He was like late Fresh Prince, though. So they're like Virginia Slims that was a cigarette women smoked. I wonder if there's something. something there.

I don't know. Virginia Slim sounds like a cool thing to call women. That is cool. Virginia Slim. Slim, I was told long time ago if a guy has Slim in his name that he's terrifying.

Like in his name. I met Philmore Slim one time. Whoa. I got a picture with him. What? We took a picture and he said, remember, Pimpin ain't dead. These hoes are scared.

You met, what's his name? Billmore Slim. Okay. Because I met Earthworm Jim one time. He was cool. He said the same. Yeah.

He said the same thing. The same thing. than me. Oh, man, I'm not on Wi-Fi. I don't have Instagram up, but I have to get there. We'll be right back with more All Fantasy, Everything. And then we'll go to break laughing. Oh, that's on it?

Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. And we're back, welcome back to All Fantasy, everything, a podcast already in progress. Feel free to be on your phones. There's no reason you can be. We're drafting. We're looking at the list.

Let me cut you off. We're looking at the list when we're on our phone. I'll go ahead and get you off too. So what that is, no one's texting. Let me get on in here. It's not a text. I'm not talking about. my wife or

right here. So like when we're looking at our phones, that's two podcast. Playboy? I'm not talking to my wife. I'm at work. Literally 90% of the people I text are in here. There's like three other.

It's my wife, Langston, Adam. I don't really. Yeah. That's it. And once Harper gets here, that's pretty much 100%. It's got the whole room.

Complete text. Got the whole dinner crew locked up. It's time for my third pick. And with my third pick, I am going to take Chief. Chief is cool. That comes from, that's work. That's work shit right there.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's on the job site. That's a deli. That's a deli counter. That's a all star. Big time. Now we're getting less into I don't remember your name and more too.

I have not been made familiar with your name. Yeah. That is the deli counter talking to you. And I'm trying to figure out what your name is. But also, I'm going to see you 10 more time. I'm going to keep seeing you. You're the chief. Yeah, you're the chief.

You're the chief. And I'm merely, I'm just falling. in the ranks, bro. Like that's your denis song. Salute to you. I'm just a spoke in your wheel. I'm not the wheel itself. That's you.

Yeah. Chief is good. I'm just trying to get some hot jalapeno poppers out of this deli counter. Okay, well, now you're saying, it'll be long enough until we go to WinCo, and my mom would give me a little bag of hot jalapeno poppers, and I would eat them as we walked around, I got groceries. You know what's crazy about jalapeno poppers?

I never eat them with the jelly. No. What's the jelly? I think that's what traditionally they're supposed to. you're supposed to do. I don't need them wetter than they already are if you make them, right? They got cream cheese in them, right? Put it on my tombstone. Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was the jelly. Yeah. Yeah. I hadn't jelly to those. People put them in a jelly. People put them in a jelly. It's like a strawberry jelly or something. Like, no, like a, usually like a spicy jelly, like a jalapeno

or something like that. That's a feel more slim. Yeah. He looks terrifying as hell. I don't need jelly on my jalapeno. Well, be that as it may. Tell you that. Nobody else does either. Be that as a may, Chief? People were out there doing it. Hey, thanks, baby. Yeah, I really like, if I like throwing Chief around, you can also, and I don't,

but if you need to, use it in an animus sort of way. You know? Is that what that right, Chief? Hold on there, Chief. We got a problem, Chief. Yeah, we got a problem, Chief. We got some kind of issue there, Chief. Hey, Buckah. Oh, sorry.

That's like a finger on the chest, you know? Yeah. Back up, Chief. Sternum. Hey, Chief, she's married. And in the interest of time, we'll keep us moving right to Sean Jordan for his third and four. Chief Chief, that's my way.

Son. I like saying son. Yeah. You do. It's a little more aggressive. But if you say it the right way, like, oh, what's up, son? Yeah. I love doing that.

You got to be a son guy. You're a son guy. Am I? I want to be desperately. I'm not going to say in general. Like, when you get called son, you're a bit of a sun guy. I'm super son. I say son a lot.

You son a lot. A ton of that. Yeah. Because maybe you're two of my biggest son guys. Yeah. I don't want it to sound. I live in California, though. Because it is, it's fun being like, what's up, son?

I like doing the end, throwing the end real big. Like the Dave Chappelle? Yep. I guess I'm just stealing stuff from Dave Chappelle. This is me just trying to. The thing about trans! That's my next pick. No, yeah, son, I just like, what's cracking, son?

Yeah. It's a good one. It's an interesting term. So maybe somebody isn't focused on the fact that I might have forgotten their name. And they're more like, I haven't been called son. So there's a little razzled out, a little razzle there to distract them. That's a lot of these are deflection, too.

Same with the way of the Playboy, where it's like, no one's going to worry if I don't know their name as Jason if they're like, call me Playboy. It would be so thrilled that they bestowed that honorific upon you. Playboy. Son took some crazy turns.

It started like the, I call you son because you shine like one. Yeah. And now it's very much like, you're my boy, you're my child. Yeah. That's my son.

Oh, like he's sonned him. It, went that way. As a kid, though, for me at least as a kid, it was very East Coast. Yeah. People weren't sun and out west. Sun, son, son. Yeah, son, son. Yeah. What are my first albums? Oh, the Dun language. Yeah. The guys from Queens, right? Yeah, which we didn't, I didn't know it was done like, I didn't know it was like, T-H-U-N. Yeah. I didn't know it was a guy with a speech impediment. Yeah, it was just a guy with a time. They just had a guy in their neighborhood who

was trying to say Sun, right? Yeah. And, we know what was a guy. Yeah. And, you know what was a guy. New York guys are antagonistic. They just have like a Catalonian. It's a problem out there. Yeah, so then they called it the done language, which is mean to that guy. Yeah. A lot of their sort of just like style

is utilitarian and antagonistic. Big heavy war boots. New York is like a place where a guy will call you Fat Boy. Yeah. But not like on some crazy shit. No. Like to identify you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey, fat boy, will you hear me that?

And you're like, damn. I don't think I will. I live in the Bay Area. It never dips below 50 where I'm from. Yeah, son, all right. And your fourth pick. This comes, I didn't do this. This was the first time that I saw this.

See, I bet Chappelle did. This comedian named Dave Chappelle used to do this all the time. This is the first time I saw somebody navigate not knowing people's names and how they dealt with it. And it was when I worked at Hy-V, this grocery store right here. And my boss, they would always say, what's the same? up trouble. Okay. A girl I used to work with said that to you.

Oh, that's interesting. I thought she was trying to get it. That's, I didn't know. Brad and Corey, my two bosses, Brad and Corey, every customer, because they knew them. Rod. They didn't know their name and they're like, oh, what's up trouble? Would they say here comes trouble or just what's up trouble?

A little bit of both. Calling someone trouble? Uh-huh. But they'd have a big smile on their face and it was always like an old lady and they'd be like, like, I'm not any trouble. This is completely foreign to me. This has come up in Haiti, too. I've been playing a lot of Hades too.

Really? Doing that as well. Really? Wow. Yeah. A girl, a girl. Yeah, it's a girl. A girl I used to work with it.

Target would say it to me and I thought she was hurting. She must have been, I mean, had to also be from Aurora. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you come from another place to work at a Target. Yeah. Colorado. This is my dream.

I moved here. I moved here from Los Angeles. She probably lived on Havana. I'd imagine. Trouble. Yeah, trouble. That was the, because I remember being like, he don't know their name. Yeah.

They know that and they don't seem to have a problem with it. Like, what a wizard. Excellent pick. Trouble wizard. With my fourth pick, I'm going to take something that I use sometimes, but that I love being called. And it is usually by someone who is not born in the United States of America. I'm going to take my friend.

Oh, yeah. Hello, my friend. I can't do it. Yeah. But it is so fun. You can toss it. You can talk, hello, my friend. Yeah, what's that, my friend?

It's a warm blanket. You got to have a, you got to have a... The R's roll. The R's roll in, my friend. It almost rolled when you did it right there. Saffron. You have a little sumac on the... That's some of that yellow.

Try saying it without wanting to roll the R. Hello, my friend. Yeah, see, you want to be like, hello, my friend. You want to? Oh, you guys are thinking about it. I'm thinking about it where it doesn't even have the D. Hello, my friend. When it's like white friend.

You're talking about Cuba? You're talking about a little bit of the touch of the Gulf of Mexico? That's what I'm doing. Well, it's the Gulf of America. now. Absolutely. And we want to sort of drive that home to all of our listeners and viewers. By the way, we're on YouTube now. 301. A good time to mention we're on you. You know where I heard my friend a lot was getting Uber's in Glendale. That was the... Oh, yeah. The Armenian community has absolutely embraced my friend. And buddy. My friend and buddy. But like, you know, welcome my friends. Stuff like that. And you're like, thanks, dear. In French, mona me. They throw that out there. Mon de me, mona me, my friend. Yeah. I've been trying to work in Mon Frere. Oh, I like that.

I use Montfrey quite a bit. Oh, contrary Montfriere. Yeah. I'm working that in a little bit. Me without a monkey, like a be without his name. I live as listening to the Jaze's in the gym the other day. It's great. Oh, they throw them on Montfair and they're on a, is that a Haitian thing?

Is that a Haitian thing? Oh, I don't even know because the other hill's not Haitian. But probably they're the most Haitian. It goes The most Haitian... Pross is lucky as what pros is. Yeah. Yeah.

It goes pros to Lauren. To Lauren, the Haitian scale. Yeah. Haitianity is a spectrum. I've said that for years. That's really shit. Shout out to Wozny Lambrey. Big Was.

Wherever you are. Uh-huh. Jamel. A fourth pick. Hey! Yeah. She's not even the name. Not even the name.

Not even that surname. Hey, how are you? Hey, hey, what's up? Hey, how you been? Hey. If you hit me with that. Hey. Hey.

I know for sure you don't know my name. Yeah. And I'm doing it being. I'm letting you know I don't care. Hey, you're going to talk to me or what? Yeah. I know what you look like. Yeah.

Where are we going to go from there? Yeah. Let's just. I love that. Hey, are you going to talk to me or not? There's a little bit of a boundary being set in Hay, too, where I'm like, I shouldn't know your name. All right? I don't live here

You got some work to do I'm in a different city for sure I come to Minneapolis once every 10 months You're not one of the three names I remember That is one where you should follow it up with your Like if someone says that to me I'm like Sean and you know Obviously you forgot me

I do that all the time Yeah And they'll be like we've met and I'm like Come on man you know I forgot already You just got hey You know I forgot That's the thing you just got me You know what just happened

You will just try hate. Now we got to talk about it? Yeah, it's like they're blown away. Can we exist in the same universe for a second? For a fucking second? I said, hey, because I wanted to talk to you, damn it. Yeah. Right.

I didn't walk away. I could have gone. I could have just spun it because I'll hit a spin move on a motherfucker now. I have been in L.A. long enough. I will for sure. I could have been on you. You know what? I would dunk around a corner big time.

This happened to me the other day and I forgot about it that like, sometimes you can't give everybody in L.A. your time at a moment. You know, you're out Just take it all You'll run out Yeah And then you just stay out

In an alley like I got to I've been here for way too long Yeah Talking about shit I don't care about Yeah I will for sure If I see somebody I don't want to talk to

I will hold my breath And do a 360 Around whatever Sort of Barrier Whatever you got I got a neighbor Who wants to talk

Every time I walk by And I Like he's great And once a week I'll spend like And he wants to talk for her A while Neighbor time

I want to talk for a long He's been older, a little older. But I have to like... Retirey? He kind of works. I don't know. He's great. He's awesome.

I love him. But I'm like, I don't have that. I just genuinely do not have that much time. And I've just had to start hard walking throwing up a piece on it. Yeah, I got to chuck you to doce me. My mom's neighbor comes into the house without knocking. No, no, no, no. Comes in and just starts talking to my mom.

Your mom's been in that spot for a long time, though, right? They've been there since I'm 14, so 30 years. But my stepdad, he's like, she's up there for hours. He says Vicky's in there for hours. And I'm like, The way that your posture just changed lets me know that you and your stepdad had a serious thing.

You guys have Vicky talks. Yeah, you're like, listen. The Vicki Chronicles, dude, coming out on Patreon. David, you're fourth in your final pick. Boss. Oh, damn it. All right.

You know when I use boss? I'm about to drop so money. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When I'm in the store, oh, good boss. Let me look at that. The original Mad Greek. the original Mad Greek Sandwich Shop,

which was in Beaverton, when I was growing up on 185th. There's now, there's one like in Portland proper, but the original, this dude, George, old Greek guy, like the deepest voice to this day I've ever heard, when I used to walk in, as a boy, would be like, hello boss, hello, but like bellowing,

hello boss, there he is boss, hello boss. Then he would hand me. Oh, that's a kid, that felt good. A little kid, little kid, like, just a hello boss, and then here you go boss. And you would hand me a cookie with M&Ms in it. Nice. It's just like.

Because that's not what he's given to his boss in real life. Yeah. Boss is like, to me, it's like the warmest term because of that like core childhood memory. Yeah, a little boss. It's chief. A little boss. But less, less militarial. Yeah, absolutely.

I just own a business. Yeah. No, it's commercial. Yeah. There's not a weapon involved. Yeah. There's hierarchy, but not so strict. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Boss is great. Yeah. Yeah. But I do like it, retail situation. Yeah.

Take the power back. Yeah. They come to me, how can I help you? Yeah, boss. Let me tell you something, boss. I like that you came up to me. That guy didn't.

He thought I was wearing crox. I wasn't going to drop my money in here. That guy thinks I'm not about to buy a $500 dollar wet dry back. Yeah. I am. He didn't think I came in here about a short set. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Crocs might tip off the short set. Yeah, I'm going to say, I'm sending my number one short set salesman to you. Who's the top guy? The number one. I'm not risking you. I used to give this to Diego.

It's you now, really? Some guy comes out of the back, dry ice all over the plane. They all in a bullpen like strippers and then an alarm go off. Shortset man is here. Don't fuck this up. He had this walk-up music. It's like I'm sure to strip club. That's me in a short set store.

Called in the bullpen for the short set. Everyone's whispering, he's here. And your final pick. I'm going to rhyme it. Hoss. Hoss. You don't really hear that one anymore. That was very sports adjacent.

Yeah. Boss and Haas. Football. He's a Haas. She's a Haas. Hoss. Get off the field. Hoss is like, oh, this guy plays all

line for Nebraska. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Broad. Broad. Broad. Sturdy.

Yeah. I'm always calling my girl, Hoss. And now she's doing it back. I can't wait to go try all these on Laura and just to be like which ones do you hate the most. Yeah. I love what it's like when I'm trying to get her to stop doing something. Hey, hoss, hold it.

If I got home, it's like, damn, I love you, hoss. And I get over here, hoss. I can't even imagine. It's going to go back. I'm bummed out. She's going to be. Oh, man.

I ain't going to do it. Chabelle, your final pick. Um, okay, I needed one in the, that two word, the large. Yeah. Big time. Oh. I'm always going to.

That one can be real offensive, though. Well, yeah. It can be real offensive. I kind of only use it in these Hollywood-type settings because we want to be big time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, smart. That's nice.

Yeah. That's smart. That's smart. That's smart. Big time over there. Yeah. But you can. Yeah.

You can for sure. I know what you mean, though. Yeah. Big time could have a, that's kind of like when you're getting into somebody who's like doing too much as well. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like a new York accent if somebody called me big time, I might be worried about my behavior.

Now the short sets a little too bright. Yeah. Oh. All of a sudden you realize it's an orange shorts set. You're doing okay big time. Yeah, it's kind of like somebody's coming at me and I'm like, hey. I never even, I didn't even think of that. That's true.

Yeah. Well, maybe you should think about it big time. Yeah, somebody's kind of big time. I tip a regular amount one time and my mom called me like I was big time and everyone. Wow. This is a regular amount. It's a tip. Yeah.

Yeah. But sometimes we have parents who don't want to look at Applebee's. Do you ever do the tip math wrong and then just have to go with it because you don't want to be an asshole? Most of the time. Yeah. Because it could have been that. Like it was actually 40%. You just didn't.

Could have been. And then you're like... Last thing I want is a scribble mark where the tip shit. I hate when I have to do that. Like you just type a number wrong and you scribble it out and you're like, they're going to think I decided I wanted to tip less. Yeah, try to big time them. I'm going to go with one that the internet has turned into something. I feel like very negative.

Where it used to be used very seldom. But when it was, it was positive. And now I feel like it's kind of turned into... So it feels antagonistic. My guy. Uh-huh. My guy does feel it didn't used to be. The internet did get a hold of my guy.

Yeah. I feel like really young people got a hold of my guy. They did. Now they're like, get your shit together, my guy. Hey, my guy, there's a line. And it didn't used to be that, though. It had more positivity to it, I feel. It used to be your guy.

Yeah. That's my guy right there. That's my guy. He was like my man's. Yeah. My guy. That is my short set guy right. Yeah, that's my guy.

Now it's like it's very hostile. Yeah, I don't like it. And I like that. I'm just calling that out, some of our younger listeners. Hey, yeah, all our young... There's a couple. There are. There are.

There are. There are. You're right. Yeah. Just let you know that it didn't always used to be a weapon. Yeah. 2% of the pie chart is Gen Z, all right? It's a big two.

It's a big two. Yeah. You beat these plowshares into the swords, and it could be beat back into a plowshare. No, I don't understand. Sean? Did it? Can I just say dog? I know he said big dog, but I said,

say dog all the time. Can that, or is that too close to big dog? D-A-W-G. Right, different dog. Different dog. That's the pound. I mean, it's D-O-G, the one I'm talking about. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're talking about let the big one eat. Dog. What's up, dog? Dog and Big Dog are two different things. Okay. And we lead with Big Dog and end with dog. I like it. Yeah, what's up, dog?

That's a real. Dog on dog-y style. Yeah. Dog shit. Iceman, do you have one? Yeah. This is exclusively for women that I don't have any romantic interest in. Oh, okay.

Oh. Oh, oh. So what do you call both of them? That's what I call my dog. Darling, like, oh, hey, darling. Darling? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can, I can't do that.

I do it all the time. I call Stella Darling. You're not trying to fuck. Darling is, your pussy is darling. If I'm trying to fuck, then it's beautiful. It's like, oh, hey beautiful, hey gorgeous. I was going to say this. I feel like you're intentionally making murky water.

Yeah. Darling is great. Girls love, darling. They're always calling it. This is trying to set just sort of traps for women in New Orleans. Yeah, this is all. All right. We're not going to see him.

He's throwing gorgeous stuff all the time. He thought I'd been a set of short ones. Recap, David, you went first. You took Big Dog, pal. I'm going to actually just do all of these in a row. Like I'm addressing somebody. Big Dog, pal, Brody, boss, Haas, bro, babies. Slim, hey, big time.

Man, buddy, chief, my friend, my guy, dude, playboy, son, trouble. Go to the DMB and do that when you when you get up to the truck, yeah. Oh, you mean the Department of Motor Vehicles. Oh, not, neither one. For the Largoe Maryland and call somebody trouble. What?

Yo. Oh, well, Slim. What did you call me? What did you call me? What are you calling trouble, Slim? Slim, and then we left so many of a boy. Mo, because that's one, that's a DC one. Chicago's does Joe.

Yeah. Homey. Yeah. Brother, I had brother on there. Ace King. Yeah. Sometimes I go to Jack. Ace King Jack.

Ace King Jack. Queen. Yeah, Jack. The British and the Australians do mate. We didn't do girl. Bro. We didn't do girl. We didn't do girl.

Mama? Or like an older lady. Mama. What's that mama? Isaac shit. Mama, you call them Joyce, Mom. You're getting milfs. Hey, darling, hey mama.

Hey, beautiful. Little Mama. That's the difference. You're quoting train songs. Hey, so, sister. Hey, so sister. What are you, yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com.

Shout it to everyone on the AFE Patreon, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to our producer, our darling, Isaac Haley on the Ones and Tuesday. Shot to St. Sue Carmel. Shot to Frankios. Shout to Sid the dude. Shot to Hodgeu beats. It's more important than all that. To get next week to another brand new episode of all

fantasy everything. Hey, beautiful. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now, this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't, because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge, Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The dough boys play a game called

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