All Fantasy Everything - Things You Say With Your Chest (w/ Dulcé Sloan, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

You snack eatin’ hoe! (This will make sense about two-thirds of the way through the episode).   Episode Guest: Dulcé Sloan @dulcesloan (IG: @dulcesloan)   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel) Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan) David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87) Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting things you say with your chest. Our guest today is our friend, one of the great All Fantasy Everything guests,

one of the great people to ever spend even a second of your life with, Dulce Sloan. What's happening, baby? Yeah. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. I am sitting next to Sean Jordan in his kitchen, and we are looking at David Borey on a Zoom screen. Isaac Lee, also in the kitchen with us.

Let's get into the podcast. Let's do it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that saw Sean's deck in person. Yeah, that thing I won't shut up about. It's dank, bro. Tell him it's not dank. It's great.

It's a great deck. Sean painted his deck. Deck. He painted the whole thing. Deck. Dick. Ian saw my deck a long time ago. He saw his...

My deck. My deck for the first time. Sean painted his deck. Yeah. I think he painted the deck with his dick first time. Sean painted his dick. Yeah. I think he painted the deck with his dick, actually. He dipped his dick into the paint.

Wild, man. That's why it took three weeks or whatever. He was on a helicopter. All this crass. I could see my daughter's crib with all this crass language. This is bananas.

I can't be doing this. She's not here. She's not in the house. No, I painted my deck. Ian saw it and I'm happy about it. Now David's got to see it and Dulce, you got to see it too.

It's a good deck. I've seen your deck. Yeah, but you ain't seen it like this, Playboy. It is, it's dank now. It's all like silvery looking. It's lovely. It's a nice deck. Yeah, the whole, the top cover.

I'm feeling good. The lattice is good. Ooh, a lattice? Do you have a pergola? I don't think so. Pergolas are, Well, we have like... It's covered, but it's not a pergola, would you say, right? I wouldn't...

It's just like a roof on the deck. Yeah, there's a roof on the deck. Yeah. Okay. No, I think it is a pergola because it's got the slats so that the shadow moves with the sun. Yeah, yeah, that's a pergola.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a pergola. I thought pergola was Italian lettuce. Is that not what pergola is? No, that's a pergola. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a pergola. I thought pergola was Italian lettuce. Is that not what pergola is? No, no, that's a rue lettuce. Listen, I knew once I said pergola, it was gonna, Sean wasn't gonna know what it was. There are so many books over here you don't even know. So many

books on that shelf. Give me your wife's books. Don't play with me. You don't read. She doesn't read Jungalo. No, I, yeah. We might talk about this in this episode. What are my thoughts on reading why is book something you say with your chest i'm just saying yeah is that books hey man listen sean you are a father now it's time to get your books up okay that's my new books up they're up on the show for the children it's time to get your books up you got to make sure they're telling that your

daughter's reading english reading spanish you know she got to make sure that your daughter's reading English, reading Spanish. She got to survive. She's going to learn to read soon and you don't want her to have outread the number of books you've read before puberty. What age are you comfortable with her overtaking you as far as book count goes? As soon as possible, man. You didn't do summer reading?

That would have got your books up. I didn't do most reading. I didn't do school reading. I certainly didn't do summer reading? That would have got your books up. I didn't do most reading. I didn't do school reading. Sean certainly didn't do summer reading. Oh, I remember as you framed it, and I haven't heard you say it in a while, and there were many opportunities on the last couple episodes that I listened to, but White Ghetto,

when you introduced this, I was like, the more Sean talks, I'm like, girl. We were reading books for Pizza Hut? Yeah! To get pizzas? We were reading books for Pizza Hut to get pizzas. We were reading books. You didn't do book fairs at a Selastic book fair? The book mobile didn't come? We did, but I would get the books because I wanted to be

somebody who got the books. Rarely did I read them. I would get like, they had the book, the game books, the like word find books and stuff. I would find a way to circumvent the actual reading, but still get something for the book fair. With a word search? I bet you got like a lot of skateboard erasers. Yeah, a lot of erasers.

Or like Garfield books where you're like, yeah, I read the Garfield book. Oh, I love the Garfield books. I feel like the kids nowadays aren't doing, because we were like cutting out box tops

because no school had money, apparently. No. And then they were conning us with pizza to read books. But what are they conning these kids with now? Kale?

Like, what are we using? I think you can always get kids to do stuff for pizza. Okay, I'm just checking. Are you allowed to use pizza to get kids to do stuff? Well, all the kids now can't eat gluten, so I guess you gotta give them, like, fruit or some shit. When we were kids, that's all they did, right?

Like, it was like, if you do this, you'll get a pizza party. Like, it was all pizza. Everything was pizza. The 90s was a great time for pizza. We were all being Pizza Hut and Domino's. Their rivalry just really just spreading the propaganda through the Ninja Turtles.

Through any show of teenagers. They were always sitting somewhere. Also, kids on TV had a lot of money. That is what always freaked me out like you i'm like every day after school you going over to this y'all ain't got no like every day after school in high school i went to work yeah i had a job i yeah i had a job starting at 15 at a grocery store but you know still like i started working when i started my own business

when i was nine i'm fucking exhausted what i'm saying is what business did you start at nine so when we lived in Miami, my mom Trapped it. The first one. When we moved back to Miami, my mother had a business where she made her own clothing and she sold hair.

So she made little girls clothes. I was the model for the clothes because we worked at an outdoor flea market in Florida City. So there were people out there selling clothes and stuff. And then so she'd sell her clothes because her clothing company was named after me. And I saw people out there like selling different kind of stuff. So I said we was at a wholesale place one day and I was like, I saw a bunch of toys. I was like, Mama, I want to sell toys. I want my own business. I want to sell toys. And so she bought me like, I don't know, like 30, 40 bucks worth of toys

and then gave me a receipt book and a fanny pack to get people changed and then wrote serial numbers on the back of everything. And so I had to keep track of my inventory. And so when I would sell stuff, when it was time to re-up, I was like, okay, I need more dolls. I need more water guns and all this other shit.

You mean when it was time to re-up? Yep, when I had to get more inventory. So I would be wearing her outfits. And sometimes my hair would be done too. So I'd be like wearing the hair that she was selling. Also, it was the 90s in Miami. So every little girl had finger waves and adult hairstyles. And so I would have on the clothes she made.

And then my hair would be done. So I'd be modeling her stuff. And then I'd be selling my toys. So not quite a lemonade stand. Nah, man. We're doing real shit out here.

People who have lemonade stands are like, get the fuck out of here. Nah, dog. When I was nine, I almost broke my leg in the woods alone once. Hey, man.

Tomato, potato. Listen, I have been working. I just turned 40. I have been working I just turned 40 I've been working since I was 9 years old I can't tell you how tired I am I cannot tell you

how exhausted your girl is but yeah man I'm just trying to inspire the youth because they got too much

free time bro also some of these kids ain't going to college give them a job at 9 these child labor laws are wild this is a crazy take 5 minutes in give these kids jobs these kids ain't going to college. Give them a job at nine. These child labor laws are wild. Yeah, it was one of them. This is a crazy take

five minutes in. Give these kids jobs. These child labor laws are crazy. Listen, somebody got to work at Pep Boys. We wouldn't be the state

that we're in. They've been pushing college and college and everybody need to go to college. College has never been for everybody. So now,

the reason they kept pushing college and not pushing trade schools, that's why a fucking public or an electrician costs $300 an hour because we literally don't have any.

That's 100% right. It's a good gig. Dude, you could have told from jump I wasn't going to college or it wasn't good for me. If somebody would have just been honest, been like, don't go for two years.

It's pointless. And now you're a professional deck painter. Now I paint decks. My high school was like, if your grades weren't great, at a certain point, they were like,

hey, you might want to learn a trade. Yeah. They did not do that in Beaverton. They were like, you're going to go to a community college until you can then go to a regular college. Not Gwinnett County. They were like,

hey, what if you had a cosmetology degree the day you graduated from high school? What if you knew how to do body work the day you graduated from high school some of us weren't great at school or trades though i think there's an either or situation where it's like just because i am not good at science doesn't mean i'm also going to be a great plumber yeah i can't weld or analyze a separate piece i don't know what's going on it's just not really mine. As someone who can weld.

You can weld? Arc welding or spot welding? Arc welding. Okay. I had to learn in school because I had to learn in theater school. The arc welder from Florida City sounds like a superhero. The arc welder. Where is this black superhero that we need so right now?

Trade school man. Trade school guys- Trade school man. Trade school man. Trade school man. Hold on, sidebar. I just need a quick moment with David right quick. So like August 5th next year, are you going to Montgomery? Because I'm trying to go. Are you trying to do it?

I'm trying to go. We could have not done this right now. I know. My in-laws live in Montgomery. I'll go. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's not for you. It's not for me? All right. If you're going to bring Uno, yeah, I'll think

about it. Oh, you don't bring Uno. All right. Anyways. Anyway, anyway, anyway. Isaac, leave that in. Leave that in. What's going on in Montgomery? What is going on in Montgomery? Hey, hey, you know what? I was at that Uno game, too. You were? I was at that Uno game.

That's right. Yeah. We tried to bring it back in Canada and they didn't want any parts of it. There was nowhere to play. It's so much fun. Oh, that's a problem. We played Uno

until like five in the morning in the hotel lobby at Minia and they let us. That was the cool thing. We go to the front desk. Yo, shout out to that hotel. Shout out to that hotel. You remember that?

We walk up and we're like, bro, can we play Uno? And he goes, out here, you can make all the noise you want. Just don't do it in your rooms. And we're like, tight.

We didn't even make that much noise. If more hotels thought this way, there would be less problems all around. Absolutely. I mean, I don't think that, I don't think that most hotels

have 40 people wanting to play Uno at four in the morning. But also, if you're in a hotel that's set up where there's rooms on the first floor,

you literally can't do it but also because they had that area upstairs where we still weren't near rooms we were still out of the way then it was accommodating for we were also the right group of 40 people because like everyone we were all people who had like earned our stripes as far as like going out and now we were in a slightly more mellow part of our going out experience. You know what I mean? Most groups of 40 people who want to hang out at 3am somewhere are probably going to be a little rowdier.

About to cause a problem. About to cause a problem. The authorities need to come. Just before we start, just call them. The only white guy who's going to be in Montgomery next August, Sean Jordan. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram

in his FUBU shirt in his FUBU shirt in his full cross colors overalls it says no justice no peace on my shirt I had this that's so crazy

cross colors is back baby I was at a fashion show at the LA CP Awards you know how close I've been maybe once a month to being like I could do it every now and again I'll send David like I month to being like, I could do it.

Every now and again, I'll send David, like I sent him a Carl Canai vertical stripe shirt. And he was like, no. Crazy colors he's picking though. Yo, what are you going to wear that vertical stripe purple shirt with, Sean? On August 5th next year. Probably his Pan-African flagged double heel Timberland boots. That's a good point. What was I thinking?

He's trying to patriate Ghana. I'm going to get into the pendant game, so that'll be on top of it, so you won't even be able to... It's going to get back into the pendant game. You have a white wife. You cannot do these things. I'll tell you what I can do. You married a white woman and made a white baby. You can't... I'm so... You can't... Sorry.

You have to. You're not Gary Owens and shit. No, you have to sit down. Here's what I can do. I will do stand up in Minneapolis. If you're listening to this right now, this Saturday, Comedy Corner Underground. There's still tickets. Sioux Falls, South Dakota, August 25th at Boss's Comedy Club

and then September 6th in Seattle at the Comedy, Capitol Hill Comedy Bar. Please come out. I'm excited about it. And then a few tickets left to my album taping in Portland, October 29th. I can't see anyone going to the Seattle show. So far, only about 20 people can see themselves going.

So Seattle, let's get it up there. Why are you doing this to him? Why EMB and me and Sean talk about ain't nobody going to come to his show? Because he can. He does it because he can. Can I tell you why I do it? Yes, please.

To create sort of a feeling of people being like, oh, we'll show Ian. We're going to buy tickets to this stand-up show. This is reverse psychology. It's reverse psychology. Isaac, you got to cut that out. So then they goofy ass listeners can't know what the campaign is. Also, am I still the most hated guest y'all have had? Because are they still making reddits about me? you gotta cut that out so then they goofy ass listeners can't know what the campaign is also

am I still the most hated guest y'all have had because are they still making reddits about me cause I'm really we don't really pay attention to the reddit anymore

not I mean you gotta let them if you're good on the reddit keep being good if you're not good then take a long walk up a short pier

I ain't got time for it are y'all really using the slack cause I remember having slack at work and I was like yo this shit is trash. I hate this shit. We dip into the Slack. The Slack is lovely.

We dip into the Slack every now and then. That's all right. They're their own community that likes each other. Yeah. That's a self-sustaining community that we are tangentially related to. They're a wonderful group of people, and the Reddit is also mostly wonderful.

Mostly. Almost all of us. Mostly wonderful. But a Reddit, we discovered, is just an organism you have to let exist on its own. Like more than a fridge. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't go in there and try to supervise it. You just got to let that be what it is. Oh, so it's just an alternative high school is what you're saying. It's an alternative. Yeah, it's like Joe Foss in Sioux Falls.

That high school where you go in and they're like, they don't need to see any credentials. They're like, yeah, whatever. Whoever you're looking for, they might be here. They might not be. A lot of bad kids, but they're doing their best, you know? I mean, so we're not supervising the Reddit,

but for this group of white people who like all families and everything, you're a top five guest. I mean, I've seen y'all audience. It's white. It's white. Not as much as you might think. No, no, no, no. I've seen y'all audience. It's white. It's white. Not as much as you might think. No, no, no, no. I've seen your live tape.

It's as white as I think it is. Yeah, not as much as you think. That's what I will say. Because a lot of people think, you know. We're huge in Costa Rica. Costa Rica. Yeah, massive. Well, I heard y'all were big in Bolivia, but I know y'all can't talk about it.

I agree. I'll tell you this. Inuits are into it. Oh, uh-oh. Oh, Inuits are into it. Oh, uh-oh. Inuits are into it? I just wanted to say that. What kind of popsicle joke was that?

I just wanted... Inuit, Inuit. No, we know. I'm still proud of you, Sean. I'm still proud. I like my friends. What are we going to do about it? I'm still proud of you. I'm still proud of you. And that's where we need to keep that. I'm still proud. Nobody go my friends. What are we going to do about it? I'm still proud of you. I'm still proud of you. And that's where we need to keep that. I'm still proud.

Thank you. Nobody go see Sean on any of those dates. I don't think he will. I don't think he will. He's doing that thing he does. I don't think anyone's going to any of those. David Borey is on the road right now. Cool Guy Jokes 77 on Instagram.

Bring David a plate tour. On the horizon. On the horizon. So many dates. I'm excited for you You're in LA right now You know I live here Oh I'll text you after this

Yeah nigga I'm in my house Oh okay hold on but let me read off these dates Cause there's a bunch of them I'm gonna do it as fast as possible Birmingham Alabama August 30th Asheville North Carolina August 31st Philadelphia Pennsylvania September 6th,

Chattanooga, Tennessee, September 7th, Raleigh, North Carolina, September 10th, Austin, Texas, September 12th, Denver, Colorado, September 21st through 23rd for the High Plains Comedy Festival, Indianapolis, September 29th, Cincinnati, September 30th, Morgantown, West Virginia, October 1st, Columbus, Ohio, October 5th, St. Louis, Missouri, October 13th and 14th, New York City, October 21st, Worcester, Massachusetts, October 22nd, Kansas City, Missouri, October 25th, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, never heard of it, October 26th, Minneapolis, Minnesota, October 27th, and October

28th. BringDavidAPlay.com. All those tickets are up. Merch views dropping soon. I got some really exciting, fun merch for this tour. It's going to be great. Buy a ticket. David Borey, I'm so glad you have all of these dates. I'm so proud of you.

Thank you. It's going to, you know, no agents. We got to figure it out. Real quick, I got Buck and Dank socks that I'll have at all my dates, too. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. It's gonna, you know, no agents. We gotta figure it out. Real quick, I got Buck and Dank socks that I'll have at all my dates, too. I got some socks. They say Buck on one, Dank on the other. I got socks. They say Buck on one, Dank on the other. I can talk over them because he's right next to me this time. People be buying socks because according to Rob Kardashian,

people don't give a fuck about no socks. I think they be buying socks. I buy socks. I think they're good. I think they'll move well. I hate socks. I'd buy merch socks for sure. Yeah, let's move some units. Anyway, sorry to interrupt. I forgot about that. Well, if we're talking about merch. Well, we... Say it.

Your girl, me, and comedian Lace Larrabee started a lip gloss company called Giggle Gloss. Giggle Gloss. What a great name. And we are selling it as merches on the road. We have six colors and all of the colors are like, you know, we have like comedic names and stuff from like our jokes and everything. So our number one selling right color

is my color, No More Broke Dick. And what color would that be? What color would that be? I can't, I can't like, I can't, I don color wheel? I can't. I can't. I don't know. It doesn't bring up a color to me.

It's a brownish gold color. And so there is sparkle in it. And then our next best-selling color is purse vodka. Okay. Which is Lace's color. And that color is like a light... I can't think of a color for it. Like a chartreuse?

Would it be a purple? I would think purse vodka. So purse vodka is a sheer pink with a pink sparkle in it. Okay. And then no more broke dick is a light rose pink

with like a silver sparkle in it. And so what we did was we picked six colors because Lace is white and I am a beautiful black woman. So we also picked, we will have our own three colors and then we picked colors that look good on each other. Oh, very nice.

So if you go to our Instagram, you can see like a lineup and you can see all of our colors together and everything is like comedy themed. So like the logo itself is lips with a microphone in it okay oh yeah if you wanted to can you double up like could I

do no more broke dick on top vodka on bottom you can and so we have other colors I'll show you crazy is a corally red color so I'll show you crazy I'll show you crazy I'll show you crazy

based off one of Lacey's jokes this is at Dulce Sloan on Twitter, Dulce Sloan on Instagram by the way yeah yeah yeah Lafayette Majora you know what that's talking about the vagina

yes is like a light plum color and then there's a color called talking about the vagina. Yes. I didn't know that. It's like a light plum color and then there's a color called future wife because, you know, manifesting. And I'm always talking about getting married on stage and that's like a nude brown color. And then the...

You know? And then the last color is a miss lady because, you know, that's what niggas would holler at your girl when I was walking around with Atlanta. Be like, I am a lady. I am a lady. I am a lady. And that is what color?

And that's like a black cherry pigmented color. So I designed the labels. We worked on the labels together. We worked on the logo together. We did everything. So there's like the lineup of the colors. Dude, that's sick. This is amazing.

From the lines of comedians to the mouths of the fans. Brilliant. Dude, that is so dope. We got like 300 orders and I have packed 280 of those orders personally. Dog, yeah.

That's no joke, man. And when we get off this call, I've got 50 orders. I got to go. 40, 50 orders. I got to pack. As soon as this drops, you better have 50 orders. I got to go. Like, 40, 50 orders. I got to pack. As soon as this drops, you better have, like, 30,000 more orders. I mean, listen.

I'm trying to help the community. But also, it's like, so me and Lace, we also sell this on the road. And so I did Sherri Shepherd, and we promoted it. And we got, like, 150 orders. And it just aired, and we got some more. But what we want to do is, like, so we're trying to build up the brand, build up the brand. And then eventually, we want to do is like, so we're trying to build up the brand, build up the brand and then eventually we want to start

partnering with other comics. Oh, yeah. So I could get like a backpack chicken color. Right. Like backpack chicken. So like we're thinking about maybe...

Right. So it's like we don't want other people to name their colors and then so we're partnering with comics. So it's like maybe like if you want to start something like lip balm,

then you could... You could get a bar mitzvah and everything bar mitzvah never I could do hungover at a college graduation kind of a lip color exactly whatever color you want to do and so we want to start eventually once we get it to like where it's like truly like established and make sure we're getting like regular orders and

stuff then we want to start partnering with other comics and so they can sell it as merch on the road but it'll be under the giggle kind of like a bronzer called i didn't go out last night i'm all good yeah i'm just called not blackface i think i could do like an eye shadow that's like, what weed? We've had scientists determine the exact point where it's as dark as it can get without being blackface. I've always wondered the line. We found the line, and this is half a shade lighter than that. And this is... Because I've been out... Especially, like, in L.A., I've been out at the Grove before,

and I'm like, is that... Yeah. Are they kidding? Listen, there's... Wait a minute. Those British girls and how they tan? Yeah, that's close. Have you...

There was one girl, I'm like, she's... Oh, she's darker than me. This bitch is... I mean, she has all of the skin cancer, first and fucking foremost. They tan like they're competing in a bodybuilding competition.

Yeah, they look like, they're darker than rotisserie chicken. Like, I was like, this can't be. And then they put, then they lay the makeup on thick over it too. And I was like, bitch, your skin, your face is a cobblestone street. Like your body can't breathe.

You always have to be moisturized because your skin just crumbles like rice paper that's been fried. So, honestly, let them have it. If this is the life you want to live, if this is the God you serve, run it, sis. But you will. I mean, her skin must flake off like the pieces

of fried chicken when you bite into it. Like, it has to. But that's not what we're here for. No, but we're here. But please, check out the Giggle Gloss. That's fantastic. GiggleGloss.com, baby girl,

because you know what? We in a strike. Yes. We in a motherfucking strike. And I just bought a new house. And I mean, I'm okay. But my mom and my brother are moving out here too,

and a dog and a cat. So like, niggas, we in a cat. So, like, Winner Strike. Winner Strike. Support actors. This helps everybody. Do what you can. This helps everybody. Because if I'm doing well, then I'm creating jobs.

So. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all of that. You can come see me at the Denver High Plains Comedy Festival where you can see us do two live All Fantasy Everythings. What is it? Speak of the devil, Karen Wachtell. September 21st through 23rd. Literally just emailed me, which is very funny.

Oh, I should probably say what my date, okay, hold on, I got dates. Oh yeah, say your dates. Get your dates out there. Y'all niggas wild. September the 9th I'm going to be at the Emas Theater in Emas, Pennsylvania. I hope I'm saying that right. Then the 23rd to 26th, I'm going to be in Toronto, Canada

for JFL Toronto. You got to stop saying that second T. They're going to get on you. Toronto. Oh, it's like Atlanta. You don't say the second T. Okay, God bless. October the 10th, I'm going to be in the

Academia Center for the Arts in Lafayette, Louisiana because I miss Black people. And the 19th to the 22nd, I'm going to be at the Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club in Las Vegas, Nevada. I've heard it's nice.

They are wonderful there. The people who work the club are lovely. And I had a great experience with the crowds. But I was there during NBA Summer League. And David was there during Christmas. So we had different experiences. Yeah. Yeah.

I've been to Vegas on Christmas because my uncle used to live there. Okay, do y'all remember the singer Stevie B? They did freestyle? He's not that guy that Amor, oh yes, Amor. No, he did that song Spring Love. That's Frankie J. He did that song Because I Love You.

Hold on. It was big in the 90s. Hold on, I'm bringing it up. Isaac Astin, I got into rap the other day and I was like, R&B kind of got me into rap. R&B was the first love What we do always forget is that Mariah Carey had a hood era Yeah

I don't think we forget that Well I think we don't talk about it enough Because she did her own Bone Thugs-N-Harmony So like we're not talking about it Instead of breaking me down Yeah She hung out with ODB Yeah ODB was on the song

She was in there Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. She hung out with ODB. Yeah, ODB was on the song. Bro, she was in the fantasy remix. She was in there. Come see us at the Denver High Plains Comedy Festival September 21st, 22nd, 23rd. Oh, there he is. Stevie B, the King of Freestyle. There he goes.

Who is that? Is that the white dude from Star Trek, Riker, in the lower right-hand corner? That is all pictures of him. This is why I would have to change his Wikipedia to say he was Cuban. I would have to change it to say he was Black

because people could never figure out what race he is. But somebody heard his name and got very excited. I'm going to have to sing all of his songs, but he does that freestyle type of music. So he would never perform in Atlanta.

So he's on shows with like Lisa Lisa and Where are we going here? Because I feel like we have to get to this draft. Where's the change? It's a change. I'm sorry for that. David needs to work. I'll be at the Vancouver House of Comedy November 30th, December 1st, December 2nd.

That's me and Sean Jordan will be there. We're coming to Vancouver. British Columbia, bro. Have you got your passport? Got my passport. Got his passport. Got my passport. Vancouver's so nice. I can't wait. I'm so excited., British Columbia, bro. Have you got your passport? Got my passport. Got his passport. Got my passport. Vancouver's so nice. I can't wait. I'm so excited. I've never been.

And then the following week, I will be in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan Gas Company. I can't wait. October, not October, pardon me, December 8th and 9th. Get your tickets now. If you've never been to Vancouver so like Seattle is Portland if Portland went to community college Vancouver is Portland

if Portland went to regular college okay I like that I love it there and we'll have a car so we're going to do some nature shit there's a suspension bridge

ooh it's near the water and stuff that's British Columbia it's gorgeous all the nice trees they got there which is always fun hiking

we're going to do some hiking Talladega Village what'd you say they got that old Olympic Village that's like on the waterfront. Anyway, let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Let's see. I'm waiting to defeat y'all. Let's go.

Austin, Texas. I will be there during Hanukkah. Come spend Hanukkah with your boy at the Vulcan Gas Company. We're gathered here not to talk about Hanukkah, but to draft things that you say with your chest. We will determine the order of the draft through playing a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors between the three of you, and we throw on shoot.

Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Sean wins. He wins a naturalized shot in person, a scissors against two paper. Sean Jordan, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft.

And what is that? That's a great question. Not to take up too much time. It's sort of, I didn't, I had one for the deck. It's like the lattice on a deck. We were going to be on the deck originally. Yeah. So I was going to turn it to the deck, but it's like your lattice goes down.

And then there's another one that goes down into the right. And then the one that goes down to the left, one that goes down to the right. A pergola's Italian lattice, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Now, I hope that joke made it in here twice. If that's only the first time, throw the first one in there, too. So it's in here twice, but yes.

So that is a serpentine draft. Basically, if you pick fourth on the first round, you pick first on the second. Now, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go first, because I only got one that I know is going to work, and then we'll say David, Dulce, Ian. Dul mind, what will the order of today's ref be? I'm going to go first because I only got one that I know is going to work. And then we'll say David. We'll say Ian.

We'll say this one. Ian Carmel in the hot corner. I'm always amazed every week that you can come up with another one of those things. I can't. We make fun of him, but it's truly insane. It's fucking amazing. Give this man his flowers. Yeah, it's really crazy.

Well, give him his Mountain Dew. I don't think Sean would be mad. Give me a flowered flavored Mountain Dew Yeah it's really crazy Well give him his Mountain Dew Give me flower flavored Mountain Dew If it's out there Potpourri Mountain Dew Sean Jordan will be making his first pick In the Say It With Your Chest All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Draft Right after this short break This episode of All Fantasy Everything Is brought to you by Babbel

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This is the only podcast that has ever existed. Thank you for listening. Sean Jordan wearing giggle gloss right now, by the way. Yeah. Oh yeah. Gorgeous. I can't wait to make my color.

Shane Torres purple. That's going to be the best. Oh, look, it's Sean. Oh, look. It's Shane. Oh, great. Speaking of which, we were watching The Lincoln Lawyer,

the Netflix TV show, and there's a... Cisco, if anyone has been watching The Lincoln Lawyer, Cisco looks like a sexy Shane Torres. Shane Torres looks like a sexy Shane Torres, but Cisco looks like a sexier Shane Torres. Sean, what's your first pick? Did y'all do just words?

Are we doing like phrases? We're about to find out. Okay, well... Yeah. I got a lot. So, my first one, say you're on the phone with customer service. It's an automated system

and you're at your end of your rope. This is the first word that I regularly say with my chest. Representative. Oh, that's a good one. All the time. That's one where like Laurel come in the room, be like, what's going on? I'm like, I just can't,

I can't get a person, bro. And I am like, I'm sorry. And then it'll be like, I couldn't hear you. He's one where like Laura will come in the room and be like, what's going on? I'm like, I just can't get a person, bro. And I'm like, I'm sorry. And then it'll be like, I couldn't hear you. He's like, representative. You're trying to speak with so much force that a robot understands. Dude, I've heard Ian, I've heard you say it with your chest so many times. I've heard Laura, but Laura does not

do that. And I've heard her stand up and be like, representative. Person. Person. You can say agent and it'll do the. Person. Person. Person. You can say agent and it'll do the same thing. Yeah.

I just press one until somebody gets on the line. I always hit zero. Like working at call centers, that was the trick is I would tell people, I'd be like, hit zero and tell someone answers

and then they can route you. But you ever do that one where you hit zero and it brings you back to the beginning of the decision tree? Yes. Or it'll just,

it'll hang up on you, dude. Yeah, that shit. But yeah, that's good. I'm going to tell you the real trick. I worked bilingual customer service for almost 15 years. And the real trick is... Si, R2.

Is if you really want somebody quickly, go to the Spanish line. Oh. Because every Spanish agent has to speak English. Sure. Oh, that is a life. That is. Dog.

There's a long way. Go to the Spanish line. Anybody who's upset that we don't get into the draft quick enough, this is the kind of gold that you get immediately when we do get into the draft. Muy mas facil. So I had a guy, so I used to work at a

power company and I had a guy because so I used to work at a power company and I had a guy because the only way Power company, CAA, what are we talking here? WMN. Progress Energy.

Wildly enough, we had to lie and I don't care. We had to lie because we were committing a crime. We had to lie and tell people we were in Florida

because contractually they weren't supposed to have agents outside of the state of Florida. Allegedly. So they would tell us what the weather in Florida was every day because old people called all the time. But I had a guy call the Spanish line and my greeting comes in in Spanish and he goes, hey, do you speak English? And I was like, yes. And so he's like, hey, any help with my power bill?

It had been a long, I work a 10 hour day on Monday. So I said, sir, I apologize. But since you call the Spanish line, I have to conduct this call in Spanish. And he was like, but you don't speak English? I was like, well, we're currently speaking English. Just this sentence. I'm doing it. Just this sentence, I said, but we have to conduct it in Spanish. He's like, I don't speak that. I'm like, go ahead, sir.

But if you want to get through quick, go to the Spanish line, because there's always a shorter wait. I like that. What is Spanish for representative? Representante. Representante! I love that song. Yeah, Carly Rae Jepsen's on it. For some reason.

And of course, Daddy Yankee. And Daddy Yankee. I met Daddy Yankee when we were filming one of the Grammys. He is, he was the sweetest guy. I heard. He's got a great voice, too. He's got a great voice, and he's a little sweetheart, and he always wears a Yankee hat. Yeah.

He got mad because I tried to call him Papa Matt, but that's a different time. That's a different issue. That's it. And Mr. Matt got mad at you, too. You had two different... Yeah, it was a weird... It was a weird second. David, it's time for

your first pick of things you say with your chest. Uh, man, this one, it doesn't happen a lot, but when it does, I really, really love it. I love you.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's great. It's so, like, you ever have it when you say it to somebody, when somebody says it to you,

and they're like, I love you. Yeah. And you're like, man, yeah. The only time I hear it like that when someone like man yeah the only time i hear like that when someone's drunk the only time i hear with the chest is 2 a.m 3 a.m i love you yeah well sometimes but sometimes it's just like it's also it can happen in the heat of like physical exertion

yeah like you ever been playing like basketball or something just like run it like it's like it's really easy i don't know it just it happens it happens Like, it's like, it's really easy. I don't know. It just, it happens. It happens more often than you think. Are you declaring your love during pickup runs and stuff? I, yeah. I mean, when I'm tired or something. You never did it when you were playing football? No, you're right. I definitely did.

I definitely did. Just like after a play or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is this happening? Because they like picked up. Just because of a pancake block or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is this happening? Because they like picked up. Just because of a pancake block or something. Flatten someone. Man, I love you.

Yeah, for sure. Oh, okay. Like that. Okay, okay, okay. Like exclamation of feeling. Like it's a lot going on and you're just like, I fucking love you.

We're in the heat of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right after I got on stage in court and I went to the green room and I called Laura and I was like, I love you so much. And then I got on stage at Corden, I went to the green room and I called Lauren. I was like, I love you so much. And then I started crying and I hung up pretty much. Yeah, shit like that.

It's like, whenever it's done properly, it's like, it's so great to receive it. It's so great to give. I don't think it happens enough. No, I think you're right. That's why all my friends, when we get off the phone, I make them say I love you. We're a big I love you group.

I love how, like, just how especially with dudes, it's just common now. I don't know. It's way more common than it ever has been. We all casually say it. It's like, I love you, peace. Fathers used to not say it to their children.

You know what I mean? It was that like of a some still don't. Yeah, they sure don't. You know what I mean? It was that like of a... Some still don't. Yeah, they sure don't. I think if I said to somebody one day and I was like, if we let men cry, less people would get murdered. Absolutely. I promise you. There'd be less crime. That's one that we both got to be on board with, though.

You know what I mean? You got to be down to watch it. Listen, there was a guy I was talking to. He started crying. Hey, hey. Now, I'm going to say there was a guy I was talking to. He started crying on my phone, and I felt my vagina close up. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a tough, it's a slippery slope.

Well, no, it's a dry slope. Yeah. I can say we weren't in the place of vulnerability for me to be hearing him cry on my phone while I'm on a plane. That's what I'm saying. Right. It was introduced too early. And also me and him weren't like good at that time.

So I was like, hey man, I don't even know if I like you right now because we're not good. So crying on my phone about your ex-wife is not what needs to happen right now. No, no, no. They were mitigating circumstances. That should be one of your lip gloss flavors. Don what needs to happen right now. No, no, no. They were mitigating circumstances. That should be one of your lip gloss flavors. Don't be crying on my phone.

I don't know if I like you like that. I'm like, we're about to take off. Can you cry in your ginger tea? It's a waterproof mascara. Truly. Cry on the plane. Listen, we've all cried on the plane. For some reason, it's just easier. Oh, I cry. I cry a lot on the plane. Come on. Listen, we've all cried on the plane. For some reason, it's just easier. Oh, I cry.

I cry a lot on the plane. What? Not from a bad place. I just watch sappy movies and cry all the time. Being on a plane makes you more emotional. Like being at elevation makes you more emotionally vulnerable. I think so. I think you've done studies.

There's also something about the transient nature of airports and airplanes that makes you realize how fleeting life and experiences are. Damn, dude. Isn't it? Even hotels will do that to you. Yeah, absolutely. I just get stoked because I'm in the air. Dual fans, it is time for your first pick. Well, as somebody who worked customer service for a very long time, and this is something we would actually get dinged for.

Oh, talk to me. Aggressive use of we would actually get dinged for. Oh. Talk to me. Aggressive use of sir or ma'am. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dog. You could do so much with that. Sir.

So the number of times I've just been like, sir, sir, sir, sir. The number of times in public where some man has done something stupid or bumped into me and I've been like, sir! And he'll go, oh, the number, you can make somebody like a son. I'm pretty sure you've done it to me. Probably. Because I think, I know I've done it to Ian. That is great. Because Ian was drunk when I was like, sir! Like, also as a, like,

also as a southerner, I know how to use sir and ma'am. Yeah, it's sober. Because some woman was acting stupid on my phone and I just put her on hold. I put her on hold. And then when I came back, she was like, thank you. I was like, you're welcome.

She needed a moment. But it has been a ma'am. I have ma'am'd a no sir. Also as kids, that's how we would get reprimanded. Like they would either go, for some reason, if we were doing something wrong, you were either given, like, a miss. So, like, my little cousin would

be like, Miss Leah, Miss Leah. And she was acting a fool. Or we'd go, no ma'am, no ma'am. And I don't know why we use these proper terms like correction. But if I heard a no ma'am, I'm like, okay, I'm fucking up. But yeah, aggressive use of sir or ma'am from the chest. A strong sir,

I have stopped a fight with a strong sir. I bet you have. Yeah. That makes you question everything. It cuts right through. Sir! He was like,

oh, what am I doing? Because somebody, they referred to a sir and they're like, oh shit, I'm not doing sir shit right now. Yeah, right, exactly. I'm sorry. I'm not a sir.

I've strayed so far from being a sir. I'm a mister right now. Damn, I'm acting like a mister. Right now, I'm a mister right now I'm acting like a mister Right now I'm a this guy If you're a this guy you'd be called sir If you're being a TFG This fucking guy I say TFG a lot too

Somebody goes sir and you just like wipe your hair And you're like alright straighten my tie up I don't need to fight over a parking space It's not sir shit Bro a sir or a ma'am like wipe your hair and you're like, all right, straighten my tie up. Sorry. I don't need to fight over a parking space. It's not a sir shit. Bro, a sir or a ma'am. I'm good with a ma'am.

And especially if you hit a white woman, if you hit a white woman with a certain age with a ma'am. Ma'am? First, she will crumble. She will crumble. I had this, or in New York,

I had this lady ask me a question. I was at a CVS and I said, ma'am, she's like, I'm not old enough to be a ma'am. I said, ma'am, you remember Dr. King. I'm going to I said, ma'am, she's like, I'm not old enough to be a ma'am. I said, ma'am, you remember Dr. King. I'm going to call you a ma'am.

We should all remember Dr. King. But she saw him speak live. So it was old enough to remember the shit. I'm going to ma'am you all day, bitch. You remember Eisenhower. Don't do this to me. You voted for LBJ. Shut the fuck up. It's a football game with leather helmets.

You are a ma'am. Ma'am. Big ma'am. You remember Jim Crow. I'm ma'am-ing the fuck out of you. You were alive when they weren't allowed to dribble in the NBA. So you're a ma'am. Stop it.

Because when you follow the sir or ma'am with whatever they're doing, it kind of can tell you why. Like, sir, you can't go refill your own drink behind the counter. That kind of stuff where you can just like say what they were doing. I love your examples for this. Sir. You can't be back there. I saw a kid go behind the counter at a coffee place the other day. Did my buddy Mike

did at McDonald's? Yeah, wild. That's crazy. Wild. My buddy Mike did it at a McDonald's in Minnesota one time. He just went back and filled his own drink behind the counter and they're like, what are you doing? He goes, they let us do this in Sioux Falls and we're like, no, they don't. They don't let you do that anywhere, dude. What kind of wild whites

were you running with, Sean? We did crazy. You know, I spit on a cop one time. Oh my God. Pretty buck. Yo, no, don't. What's the next question? So it's my pick. My first and second picks as it is. Serpentine draft,

I'm going to take when there's not enough time to say a full word with your chest, and there's not even enough time to say the full length of this word with your chest, and you just say, hey! Oh, yeah. Like on the street? Like outside?

It can be employed all sorts of ways. I'm thinking specifically your kid or like your nephew is about to do something stupid. And you just need to like communicate directly with them and override any other noise happening at this backyard barbecue

or whatever's going on. Hey! Like that. I do that with adults. And then with adults and even, and then adults. Yeah. It can, it can be used with anybody. Yeah.

That's a good one. That's a good one. A strong one where like you're, you need somebody to make an announcement. No one's looking up and you're like, Hey, you know? Yeah.

Okay. That's a thing. Like when I solid weddings that I go to, I'll get wrangled into being like, Hey, can you like MC the dinners? You ever been at a wedding where somebody knows that you do stand up, you're a public speaker, and they're like,

hey, will you get everybody in? You're like, I'm also one of the people that wants to be wrangled, you know, I'm having fun. But like, so you just go out and you're like, hey! And you just kind of do this. Yeah. Everybody round up. This is the kind of thing, this happened yesterday. I was at my little sister's baby shower, and she was like going to try to say a few words. And like started by

like trying to get people's attention. Uh-'s attention and then my older sister came in with the a and then all of a sudden everybody but Ivan Carmel my father shut up and then a second a got him to shut up Ivan will be the one voice that's still going and you just hear the last two sentences of whatever the story was yeah yeah he's like so we got that boo yeah So now I can't go to Sears anymore. Not that there's Sears anywhere, but you know. What was the beginning of that? But A, it's a powerful thing to say with your entire chest. It can

be used in any, if someone's like running next to a pool or if somebody just wants to say a few beautiful words. And then, oh, okay. Here we go. This is not just one word. It's a, no, okay, here we go. This is not just one word. It's a no thank you. I said that on my list. And thank is in all caps.

No and you, regular, no thank you. This is if somebody has a clipboard at a farmer's market and they just will not stop with the pitch. We need to stop letting them steal our with the pitch. We need to stop letting them steal our elections, bro. We went to the farmer's market yesterday and there's a guy with a bedazzled hat. He goes, donate, stop letting the fat cats steal our elections. And we're like,

no. Did he say fat cats? A few times. I would have maybe stopped for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm listening. Fat cats. What breed of cat? Are we talking about Siamese? American short hair?

What you talking about? Because those fat tabbies got to go. Get them out of Washington. These fat Persian blues? Girl. Every now and again, I think that might be racist. It kind of feels like it's filled with fat tabbies every now and again. You know what I mean?

They just want to sleep anyways. We're talking about the swamp. It's crazy that that many fat cats can live in a swamp. There it is. They do. What are they eating? Where's all the rats? They're talking about the swamp. It's crazy that that many fat cats can live in a swamp. There it is. They do. What are they eating? Where's all the rats? They're eating our health insurance.

They're even a little guy. Tell you that. And gas prices? They're living off of those. No thank you is when you've said, like, you've tried it three, four times. You said, no, I'm actually, I can't today. I'm kind of in a hurry. No thank you.

I had to do that on a drunk girl at the comedy store. Drunk white women honing on me for some reason. I don't know what it is. It's all that pretty vodka you're wearing. Listen, you know, out here just giving them a little bit of shine, a little bit of ambition, a little bit of

you know, just a better way to live. And so, minding my business, sitting there being a Christian, and this goofy bitch is standing there for five solid minutes staring me in my fucking face. And I'm like, okay, maybe I helped too many of you hoes in college, and now it's coming back on me. And she just came up to me, and I was just like, hi, I'm not interested. And she's like, well, I'm just trying to talk.

And I'm like, I really, and I just went, no, thank you. Yeah, yeah. And she just went, I was like, no, thank you. And anytime she came over to talk to talk and I'm like I really and I just went no thank you yeah yeah and she just went I was like no thank you and anytime she came over to talk to me I said no thank you she's like you hate me I said listen you were drunk and I'm not interested and I do not want to talk to you so no thank you I probably told that girl no thank you with my hand up

seven times to get her the fuck out of my face it's the last warning shot this is the last time I'm going to be polite is no thank Thank you. The polite with the chest is big. A lot of these are very polite. You have to like, because you have to escalate.

That's the scariest with your chest to me. Like, dude, I remember the old manager helium. I would say his name is, he doesn't like it like that. But at the amount of people I had to walk, watch,

like walk up to him and say crazy shit. Oh yeah. And he'd be like, thank you. Thank you. Just like that. And I'm like, I don't know how you didn't throw them down the

stairs, dog. Is that the new manager at David Borey? Is this the same guy we're talking about? No. Well, yeah, him too. Both of them. Anyway. Yeah, dude. It's like touching a granite wall when I hug the man and then tell him I love him and then watch him fucking deal with this shit. Are we hugging walls? What's his name? Where are you?

He's in LA. He's in LA. He's in LA? He is. Anyway. Who this? This ain't about, this ain't about. David Borey,

text me later about this, man. Maybe we can meet up tonight. Maybe I can have a good evening. Yeah, it would also be nice to see you as well, don't say. You have a week with tonic, nigga.

Get your life together. Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. Ma'am, it's time for your second pick. Steve, Steve. You should use this on your podcast more often because you know people get distracted as fuck. Whoa. That was great. Time for your second pick, Dulce.

I'm going to go with this one. So this is one of my favorite phrases in blackdom but you have to say it with your chest it is usually black women would then say it so you were in the middle of a conference like a middle of an argument a disagreement with someone a disagreement yeah an argument and they start getting they start getting a little spicy right and the number of times as a black woman where somebody says something spicy close to disrespectful and then you just go who were you

talking to the number of times and then you look behind as in and I'm saying it with my chest but also I'm genuinely asking who are you talking to? Because I know it's not me.

You're almost giving them an out. You're almost like, please tell me that you're talking to him. You must be talking to him. There's no way in God's green earth that he made a seven day. There's no fucking way as I walk in

nature that you are setting your mouth to speak to me in this days. There's no fucking way, as I walk in nature, that you are setting your mouth to speak to me in this way. My favorite is what I've seen is always black women that do this. They'll look back first. They'll say something and they'll go, who were you talking to? Yeah.

Who? And I've done it to people. You look back first and you're like, we're the only two people in the house but there has to be another motherfucker in here because I know as I live

and breathe ain't no way you talking to me like that so you who the fuck else is here did you bring a bring when somebody hits you with that serve back

where they're like you bitch and then everybody around is like and I see and the serve back was oh I know you're not talking to me oh now it's a volley

who you talking to you bitch but I know you're not talking to me the first few shots of a ping pong game so who are you talking to yeah my favorite is there's a couple people not talking to anybody and then that's when you get the volley of you bitch but I know you're not talking to me that's when that's when you get the volley of you, bitch, but I know you're not

talking to me. That's when people go, okay, let me back up. Uh-oh. Yeah, like, oh, now something's going down. Now it's about to get digital in this bitch.

You change the inflection on the you because I say it all the time, but I say, who are you talking to? Like, if somebody says something I'm stoked about, you know, like,

oh, you want to go get ice cream? I'm like, who are you talking to? And it's a good thing you say with your chest where you're like, like, oh, you want to go, you want to go get ice cream. I'm like, who are you talking to? And that is like, it's a good thing you say with your chest where you're like, yeah, you want to go, you want to go shoe shop and playboy. Who are you talking to? Who are you telling?

Yeah. Who are you telling? Yes. I heard Kmart has a Mountain Dew flavored beef jerky and a beef jerky flavored Mountain Dizzle. A beef jerky flavored Mountain Dizzle? I got both. Let's be there already, playboy.

Let's go. I feel like that's you guys' afternoon. Sidebar, Sean Jordan there was a truck a couple years ago in Georgia this is the craziest thing that has ever happened there was a Mountain Dew truck so painted down the side was

Mountain Dew the number one selling beverage in Georgia or like it's the like more Mountain Dew was sold in the state of Georgia at that time. And it was like a big code red truck. And it was like, thank you, Georgia,

for your number one. Like Georgia bought at one point more Mountain Dew than any other state in the country. Mountain Dew ain't missing any meals. Like, you know,

people buy Mountain Dew. Are you guys in Coca-Cola town though? Mm-hmm. But Mountain Dew, listen, you got to know your clients. That's a shot fired. It's Coca-Cola

and Mountain Dew down here. Have you seen that thing on Pinterest where you can use Mountain Dew to make like a glow stick? I don't think I've ever been on Pinterest. No, but I'd buy that. Yeah, I would. Look this shit up. You can put something in Mountain Dew. And motherfuckers were like, we're going camping.

And like, well, we couldn't find our flashlights. And it was like, doop, doop, doop. Can that be my lip gloss? Mountain Dew glow stick? Hey, hey, hey. We're trying not to get sued. Okay? Unless you want your color to Hey, hey, hey. We're trying not to get sued, okay? Unless you want your color

to be bright yellow, Sean, then yes, you could be, the Dew the Dew can be the name of your color. But yeah, who are you talking to is my pick. And it's nice to know

that it can also be in a fun, positive way. Yeah. So thank you, Sean Jordan, for showing us the other side of the coin in this particular situation. David Boyd, tell me your second pick

My second pick is one that I find Even, I've been doing this as a kid And it's like, it's another one of those polite ones But you can really get a lot It's excuse me Yes, yeah Yeah, you know what I mean Like I find it in airports so many times

I was gonna say that's a big airport move. Somebody's in my shit, and I'm like, excuse me. Yeah. You're in the sky priority lane. I know it says zone four on your shit. Get out of here. They do need to get out of there. Also, people look at it like you all rude,

like when you go stand in the sky priority thing. It makes sense for me to be here. This is how happen the fastest i have a sky priority ticket so if i'm here i get on the plane then you can get on don't look at me like i'm some kind of schmuck because i'm standing where i'm supposed to be yeah i'm a diamond medallion member it's it's the people who can't walk the people who serve our country then me. That's who gets on the plane first. You goofy bitch. Also, if you are a black person anywhere near first class, a white person will come and stand directly in front of you. Oh, my God.

The number of fucking times I've had to say to some dude, he came and stood in front of me, and I was like, excuse me. He said, I didn't think you were in line. I said, why didn't you think I was in line? That's like a... Oh, I'm sorry. That's a one out of every four flights occurrence. I'm telling you the number of times and then the white man was like,

well, it doesn't matter. We're all getting on a plane. I said, then if it doesn't matter, you can get behind me. Yeah, then you go to zone seven where you're supposed to be. Go fart your khakis over there. Because I don't give a shit. It's just annoying that you assume that I am not waiting to get on the plane

right now and stand. Oh, man, that one. I gotta relax. Excuse me. With his business themed polo shirt. Yeah. You know what I mean? Hamilton logistics polo shirt tucked into a khaki he's been farting into. With a suit and a backpack

looking like you lost and divorced. Move. It's always like the same type of dude. And I always hit him with that because they're real stressed and like they'll just come running up and I'll always let them go. And it's like, and I always hit him with the like, yeah, we're all getting on. And they look at me like, yeah, shit. And like

it's like it's such a dumb way to act like you don't you got a seat man just go when you're supposed to we all getting on but i'm getting on before you because i paid for this fucking seat you can rub elbows with your dusty ass wife i came to have a fucking tray table to pull out while i enjoy my korean dramas with this full meal you snack eating hoe get the fuck behind me i can never fucking that should probably be the description of the episode yeah you snack-eating hoe. Get the fuck behind me. I can never fucking fail. That should probably be the description of the episode. You snack-eating hoe. They ain't serving you silverware. Your food come in a box, bitch.

Get the fuck out in front of me. That is not how I feel. I just am annoyed when I get cut. But that's the vibes, though, because you automatically assume that I'm not getting every single time. I'm at the some white. I'm there could be nobody in front of me. And some white person will just stand directly in front of me wherever the fuck I'm at.

Yeah. Too close. Where you're like. Too close. I'm jockeying with this woman. She got in front of me. I moved. The host stood in front of me again.

And then I watched this bitch watch me, when they called first class, walk on the plane. And I heard her go, yeah, group six. That's when you wink at her and you say, ma'am. Ma'am. Get your books up. You should have done better. But yeah, excuse me.

I've seen Sue Carmel say excuse me at like a Nordstrom's customer service desk before. You know what I mean? Like, excuse me at like a Nordstrom's customer service desk before. You know what I mean? Like, excuse me? Eyes get all wide. A strong excuse me will change lives. Yeah. I always turtle up when people, when I can tell it's getting serious,

I'm like, oh man, I get all nervous. And like, if a physical altercation happens, that's the only point that I can come out of my shell. Otherwise, like if people are just verbally beefing, I usually am just like, yeah, they'll figure it out. And then if it gets physical, then I'll pop back up. Well, I need you to pop back out and make your second and third

picks. This is pretty basic, but still there. So it's, in my version of this, it's like two in the morning, I got to go to the bathroom and I stub my toe really hard and I just go mother fucker! Like that. And I say the fucker with my chest but like and i try to keep it down but it's that way where you're like swallowing a little pain

you know just or like if i fall when i'm skating or tweak my or something or like if the lawnmower won't start honestly that's not painful but it's just like mother fucker it's emotionally painful like i'll just also that skateboarding thing thought about you. Cause I fell down the other day. I was like, I don't know how Sean does this frequently. Dude, when I turned, when I turned 41,

I was doing a, I did 41 tricks. I've been doing it on my birthday every year. So I did 41 tricks and I tried a hard trick down a ledge, down some stairs. And I fell and I hit my hip, my ankle, my elbow and my ribs and all of it. I thought I broke all of it. And I fell and I hit my hip, my ankle, my elbow and my ribs and all of it.

I thought I broke all of it. And I stand up and I was like, I'm good, right? I'm good. And I was running around. Cause that's what you do when you hurt yourself. And then this kid was spoken a blunt.

He was probably 17 and I go, I'm good. Right. And he pulls it out. He goes, Oh no. I was like, yeah,

I don't know either. That's why I'm asking. That's amazing. He's like, listen, I can't live this. That's why I'm asking. That's amazing. He's like, listen, I can't live this life with you. You want to make sure all systems are going, like everything's working? Last time I busted my foot, I got up and I started walking

because you're like, no, I'm good, I'm good. And you're like, you can feel your, whatever, it's gross. But you can, anyway. You can tell you're not good. Just that, that mother for you, like, fucker. Or sometimes it's out of embarrassment.

Studies have shown that cussing makes pain hurt less something or like half that, like you're like, yeah. Like if you like stub your toe and yell, fuck, like as opposed to just not saying anything, it makes it hurt less.

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Because you're releasing whatever that is. Cause it's like, it's coming out. It's a shock. So something has to release.

It's the same concept of like a lease releasing an energy wave. Yeah, something's coming out. It's a shock, so something has to release. It's the same concept of like releasing an energy wave because there's been an impact. So energy has to get released. So it makes sense. Yeah. I love releasing energy on impact. That's what she said?

I don't know. I think that was good. Yeah, I like it. She was there. In the window goes. Yeah. That's double entendre. Number three.

Third one, I'm sitting in the whip and I'm not a big honk the horn. I'm not a big flip someone off. I keep it all in the whip. But if it's just not going my way, I will just scream. I just scream it in my car. I scream it louder than anything I scream.

That's what I do. I do it hundreds of times a day in my car. You're yelling go? I scream it louder than anything I scream. That's what I do. I do it hundreds of times a day in my car. You're yelling go. I scream it from the, I mean, and it's such an unhealthy thing. And I don't do it when other people in the car. Now, Max, even when she's in the car, I can't do anything because she's like, what happened? So she started to pick up on that. Obviously, I don't scream shit when my daughter's in the car.

But yeah, if I'm by myself and it's even a fraction of a second longer than I think it should be that somebody sat there, I scream it. And that's coming from somewhere else. I don't think that's unhealthy because it stops you from honking the horn. And it stops you from flipping on people. And it stops you from road raging. It sounds good to me. I try. I mean, people get shot, dude.

That's the thing where I'm like, you know, it doesn't matter what's anybody can get it. So it's like, I don't want to make it, I don't want it to leave the car. So I just scream in the car, you know, and then that gets my little energy out and then I'm, I'm all right. But yeah, that's a couple of little basic ones, but they, man, they come from my chest so, so much. Yeah. That comes from deep, deep within that. Yeah. That comes from like my pancreas, Your diaphragm. Yeah, whatever's deep in there. You're like a trained opera singer. Go! Well, what we're going to do is go into our next short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now,

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Sean Jordan just drafted go from a car. That's something you say out of your chest, David Boyd. It's time for your third pick. This one is kind of weird. It's, it's hard to explain it. I don't get in a ton of heated arguments.

I like to keep my cool or leave, but when I do, it's like this one word yelling in an argument. It's just, it always comes out so disrespectful and it's uh and you know what I mean blah blah blah and you're like

and? it's just like it's like oh we're not even arguing anymore I hear what you said I don't give a fuck cards on the table time let's jump immediately to whatever the conclusion of this was going to be. Yeah. And?

Yeah. And is never, it's never a good sign if you're yelling that. I just feel like you're being very disrespectful to me and blah, blah, blah. And? It's like, yeah. Yeah, I am. Yeah. So what's the issue?

That's basically being like, so what's wrong? Yeah. You just said all the things I am doing. I know I'm doing. What are you prepared to do about it? What's the problem? That's basically being like, so what's wrong? You just said all the things I am doing. I know I'm doing. What are you prepared to do about it? What's the problem? Yeah, and? Yeah, it just feels good. Who do you find yourself saying and with?

I'd rather not. Oh, what? That's how you be out here talking to these birds, these skirts? Okay, David Gabori. Don't be like that. There's a few times, like I remember one of the high planes,

Adam, he always gets mad at me because I get a little too tossed to like want to go shred the next day. And he'll just be like, yo, you did this, this, and I'm like, and? Yeah, I'm a grown up, dude. I made my choice. No, and he usually comes out when you're in the wrong, I feel like. Yeah, yeah. You have nothing else. When somebody got you and you're like, so?

Yeah. Yes, I did. Yeah, I did. Yes, I did do four shots of bubblegum-flavored vodka at that bar. And? Yeah, and? And that's why I'm dizzy all day and I can't go skate. That's why I'm walking backwards.

What's your point? And that's why I want to sit here. Trying to catch up to myself. Letting this Gatorade electrolyte drink slip out of my hands. I'm letting this Gatorade do what I think it does, but I bet it doesn't. One of those. I use Gatorade for the most non-athletic shit. Oh my God.

So does 90% of the people that drink Gatorade. Oh dude, that's call center life for days. People sitting on their yoga balls drinking a big Gatorade and you're like, yeah, I'm kind of a health nut. You're like, no, no, you're not. I used to drink Rockstar juice when I worked at a call center. Those were like triple the sugar.

The Rockstar is good for you. Dude, they used to tell us to put a mirror at our desk so we could see ourselves smile. Man, shout out if you're still doing it, man. That stuff is tough. It's tough. I did it for 12, 13 years. People never got my name right. I would, I remember one time I was working at this place called Purchasing Power.

I was like, thank you for calling Purchasing Power. The tools they have might help you. The lady goes, hey, Priscilla. And she said it so loud. The girl next to me heard it. And she was like, Priscilla. And I'm sitting next to a black woman because this is in Atlanta. So everyone's black.

And for the next three months, anytime that girl saw me, it was, hey, Priscilla. I'm like, hey, girl. And everyone was like, who the fuck is Priscilla? She's like, I haven't explained. What was it even there? Don't even worry about it. And that girl, I bet you if she messaged me today, it'd be, hey, Priscilla. And I know exactly what the fuck she's talking about.

Has the name Priscilla gotten to the black community? Are there a lot of black people named Priscilla or no? There's not a lot of white people named Priscilla. I've never heard of it. Yeah, is it even the young community? I don't think so. I mean, we're bringing back names now. Like, people are naming their kids Clementine

and all kind of... Well, my friend named his daughter Clementine and I was like, it's cute and it makes sense for him because he... Wears suspenders? Well, all his clothes are very soft and earth tongue. Okay, yeah.

So it made sense for who he is as a human being. But it's like those quirky names. But nobody's getting named like Gloria. He's naming a daughter Maxine. Maxine. Maxine Louise. Okay, Maxine Shaw, attorney at law.

We got you. Okay. Who knew that Sean Jordan was a living single fan? I knew. Gonna name his other daughter Regine. I'm really excited about it. And his last one, Khadijah.

I tried to get Khadijah on round one, but Laura was like, I don't see how that's gonna go. You gotta work her out. You gotta wait till Laura's on the epidural. They're like, no, no, no, I'll sign the birth that's going to go. You got to work her out. You got to wait. You got to wait until Laura's on the epidural. They're like, no, no, no. I'll sign the birth certificate. She's good.

Khadija Jordan. Khadija Jordan. Twins, Khadija and Kadeem Jordan. Wow. Y'all, you're going to confuse the fuck out of the United New York College Club. WNBA superstar Khadija Jordan. But not the way you were thinking.

And a blonde person walks up and you're like, I don't want any. I don't, I don't. Just a tall Irish girl. Khadija Jordan walks in like, and? Right. You didn't do warm up. And?

And? Where's the court? Sometimes the joke is right up your alley, and that one got me. Jesus. Dulce, time for your third pick. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay.

So this is one I think is very fun, but you usually only see it in like in older movies, and it's when someone goes, how dare you? I've said, how dare you to somebody in modern times? And it jolts the fuck out of them. I said, how dare you? He was like, I'm so sorry.

Cause it feels so intense. Like how dare you does feel like, whoa wait wait what wait what did i do yeah what did i do i did do something like and so and i was watching the episode of rupaul's drag race one of the girls said to one of the other girls i was like how very dare you how very dare you i was like oh this is a let me go ahead they found a new way no how very dare you is an old way. Really? Oh, it's a very old way. I thought it was like the new way, like give all the fucks.

No, dude, how very dare you. No, that's like old. That's like. I feel like I should be in black and white smoking a cigarette. Actually, I mean, I'd be in black and white probably. I don't know. Being a maid. But I would hope that I could be.

You can still smoke cigarettes. Thank you you so much but I probably wouldn't have the fun little holder yelling at my rich husband just seeing what cult, you know You could have been in France. This could be a French black and white movie I could be in a French black and white movie with Josephine Baker yelling at these white men trying not to help but yes, how dare you

because you all, if you don't put your hand on your chest when you say it you don't mean it or it has to be like a how dare you? Because you all, if you don't put your hand on your chest when you say it, you don't mean it. Or it has to be like a, how dare you? Oh, no, you did not. Yes, a fan came out.

You did not. If you're listening, if you thought you heard a fan, you did hear a fan. Yes, baby. Listen, this fan, this fan saved my life in Montreal. It was hotter than six hoes.

It was very hot. It was hot as shit. We was out in here trying It was hotter than six hoes. It was very hot. It was hot as shit. We was out in here trying to be out here dancing and shit. It's like Montreal forgot how AC worked. The hotel was like, fuck it, you finna be hot. Also, you started a swag surf in that. I was so sweaty after it. Listen, I'm just here to make people's lives better.

I'm here to help the children. I don't walk out my house every day for me. You say it was on stage for a long time. Me and J... Girl, Ian Lara is so flashy. He was like, he messaged me the next day. He's like, I made the party better. It was the best party JFL has ever had. I was like, I'm going to need you a little ass to chill, sir.

But, because Saipa, like, the thing is, we would do that in New York. Saipa would be DJing, and there'd be, like, a few of us on stage, and it was usually me and Ian. But then other people would get on stage, and they started, like, the thing is, we would do that in New York. Saipa would be DJing, and there'd be, like, a few of us on stage, and it was usually me and Ian. But then other people would get on stage, and they started, like, kicking people off the stage. There was a lot of people on stage. At this party at JFL.

But they never kicked me or Ian off the stage, and I cannot tell you why. I think that's something to do with the twerking slash swag surfing. You're right. You're welcome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. People were watching. I mean, I'm going to swag surf at my wedding when if the lord blesses me with a who's been it will be on the invitation

like you know appetizers drink hour at 10 30 p.m we are swag surfing but we had a swag surf at um a bridge town years ago yes we did you were there oh yeah and i remember we started because it starts in a huddle and i remember first, first of all, Troy Walker missed it. And so... Shucks, Troy. We were just hanging out. We love Troy. Shucks, Troy.

But Troy, we're kind of like, I'm like at 11 o'clock, we swag surfing. I'm always here to swag surf. I bonded with Gabrielle Union at a Miami Heat game. Swag surfing. So I love it.

But I don't know if you've ever done it, Sean. I think you would enjoy it. Oh, he's swag surfing. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I bet I've done it. Yeah I don't know if you've ever done it, Sean. I think you would enjoy it. Oh, East Swag Surf. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I bet I've done it. Yeah, it's pretty simple. It's pretty simple. No, no, no, no, no.

See, y'all only know that part. Y'all don't do the other parts of the thing. Y'all only do the... If it was happening in Bridgetown, I was there. I'm sure of it. I'm sure I was in this. And it was so funny to watch all the white people go, wait, what are they doing?

It's easy to catch on, though. But the number of people that can't catch on is wild to me, because they're like, well, what are we doing? I'm like, you're putting your arms around somebody else's shoulders and then you're going back and forth. I don't understand what you're doing. You're doing like a soccer team celebration. It's fun. Basically.

Oh, that is a good point. Oh, we needed a white translation. That's what we needed. We needed a white translation. Yeah, I gave you the white. Yeah, yeah. It feels like FC Barcelona just scored a goal. Okay, here we go. Third and fourth picks for me.

With my third pick, you're visiting home. You haven't been eating crazy at where you actually live, but you're home and your mom keeps feeding you or your grandma keeps feeding you and eventually you have to just be like, listen, I'm stuffed and you gotta hit stuffed in a way

that communicates, I don't want one more piece of whatever. I actually don't have room for dessert. You're doing it nicely, so you're holding back a little bit. I am stuffed. You have to say it with your whole you're holding back a little bit. I am stuffed. You have to say it with your whole chest. It's just not another.

Because people are so quick to press more stuff on you. And you're like, no, no, no, no. I'm stuffed. Stuffed. I can't. It's actually, I'll say it to a waiter who's being super charming, saying like, hey, I hope we save room for dessert. Hey, I'm stuffed.

And sometimes you just need to communicate that. You're not hurting any feelings. Yeah. You've done more than a good enough job. Yeah, you weren't mean. You're like, there's no more room, motherfucker. Get out of here. Yeah.

He's like, I'm stuffed. I'm stuffed. Get off me. I like that. That's a good pick. That's a good one. I never even thought of that one. In the interest of time, I've never even said this,

but I've admired seeing it said by people with their full chest. And that is, get it! I've said it. I know you have said it. You say it to like a critter in your yard. I've said it to some cats before. Yeah, you've said it. I've never had it. I've never been, I don't know. You can say it to a said it. You say it to like a critter in your yard. I've said it to some cats before.

Yeah, you've said it. I've never had, I've never, I don't know. You can say it to a person. You can say it to a person. I think the Ashkenazi Jew, the git did not travel amongst the Ashkenazi Jewish people. Wait, you're Jewish. 100% from it and everything.

What are we doing? We are not a git people. I think maybe we'll say the, get out of here, like that. Like we'll say the whole thing. Scram! Scram! What did I tell you about getting into my brambleberry bushes?

But we're not a just get people, but I've looked upon it admiringly and I just love how simple it is. It's a whole sentence in three letters. G-I-T get. If you're talking to humans, it's y'all get now. And that's how you say it to people.

But if it's a hit mouth, it's get. Y'all get now. I never said that either. That sounds like fun. You say it often, but it's fucking fun. We gotta find ourselves in a get situation. I've been in plenty of get situations. You don't want to be in a get situation. David, at High Plains, we'll find ourselves in a get

situation together. We'll get when the getting's good. I've been the get E on many of those situations. I bet you have, Skateboard Sean. I'm sure I've been told to get quite a few times. Yeah. Do I say time for your fourth pick?

Oh, yeah, yeah. That was so That was fantastic Couldn't do it in a million years The way I could do it That was so good The number of children I have reprimanded I was going to say, that's like,

I've seen that directed at kids before. Yeah, that's a jumping on the couch. I did it in Montreal with some kids That's a trekking shoes across the floor.

Oh, there was some kids in Montreal a couple years ago fucking with the escalator in that mall that's beneath the hotel. Yeah.

And I could just see the little girls, like, they didn't speak English, but... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. And I could just see the little girls, like, they didn't speak English, but. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm like, no, no, no.

Yeah. It's universal. They were fucking with that escalator. I said, ah, ah, ah. Yeah, you know, that's not even a language. That's just like.

Human. That's a vibe. Yeah. Yeah, that's an audio vibe. We all, everybody knows what that means. That's brain stem to mouth. You don't need,

there's no other part. You could go deep into the middle of the Amazon where some kid is doing something he's not supposed to and say that and he would understand. Get off that vibe. Told you a little ass more than once. Get off that damn vibe. Gonna run up my life, Bill.

Ain't a doctor been here in 200 years. Get your ass out there. That's perfect. David, your fourth pick. Uh, my fourth pick, Dulce said it.

So I was kind of scared it was going to get picked. I'm taking it. Get off me. Yeah. Yeah. Like it works for, it's a big video game. Dude,

above the rim. Like man, just playing Madden and just like, remember when hit Stick came out? Oh yeah. Get off me! That's like the whole through line for Above the Rim. That's how the movie starts when they're like playing Backboard Tag or whatever

and he's like get off of me! It's just so great. It's great for competition. That was going to be one of my next two picks. I love that. You can say it in a good way too. It's fun. You just have a good set and you're like get off me. You just get off stage. It's tight. It's great. It love that. You can say it in a good way, too. It's fun. You just have a good set and you're like, get off me. You just get off stage. It's tight. It's great.

I love how Sean always finds the nice ways to say these things. Well, you probably meant it in a good way, right, David? You weren't actually saying somebody coming up to you and you're like, get off me. Yeah, I feel like that's not my go-to for that situation. It's talking like you're hyped up. You're kind of talking shit. It's like I'm excited. Like you just killed or some shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love all iterations of it. Do not touch me.

It's my space. Sometimes people get there. Who wants to touch me? Yeah. Get on me. Get on me. I've been on stage for years. Who wants to touch me? On stage and on me. I've been asking that question on stage for years. Who wants to touch me?

On stage and off stage. Hey, man, come through. I'm trying not to be an insult. Sean, for your fourth and then your final picks, a lightning round. Fourth pick is going to be something I say a lot when just out skating or just, like, I don't know, just having fun, out partying or whatever. I'll just be like, take

a bite. I love that. I like saying I like saying take a bite. I've never heard you say that. I don't think I've heard you ever say take a bite. Oh, dude. Alright. I like it. These are your best friends and they've never heard you say them? They also said they've never seen me drink certain drinks that I've certainly drank.

Yeah, it's just fun to be like. I think you have a private life that you don't share. That might be more of a skateboarding thing than a partying thing. It could be more back home, like when we're skating. Because it's like, you know, take a bite. Someone's trying to trick. It's hard or whatever. Maybe that's it. Maybe I say more skating.

But yeah, I just love it, man. I just love being like, yeah, take a bite. You're a fucking liar. Dang, you got me. You're right. I'm 32. I'm not married. This ain't my house. This is Isaac's house. Me and Isaac built a life together and we acted like we just met when you guys all met us.

Take a bite, dude. Take a bite out of your final pick of the lightning round. Alright, so this will be... Let me know if I can do this. There was a no thank you, but this one is going to be like when somebody comes up and this is specifically after a show and they just say like

something really good or something about your set and I'll just go, thank you. Yeah. Like a legit like eye contact. Let them know that I mean it. But like a very solid like,

thank you. Because I, absolutely. Yeah. You know, like it's hard. It's hard for people to take shit seriously anymore because I don't know.

Everybody's just think it's hard to find the good. And I get that. You're really good at this. You are really good at taking a moment. I contact and like, we're only going to talk for five seconds, but it's going to be an earnest moment. Cause you're good at it.

Like when you can't give them a lot of time, but I can give you this for real. Yeah. Yeah. Like, so it's funny because I was in Sacramento and I don't know if I told you guys this story, but a woman came up after the show and put her hand on my shoulder and then started

telling me what I did wrong. Hey, bitch! I sent her. I go, get your hand off my shoulder. And then she's like, oh, I'm sorry. And I go, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And then right after that, somebody who was waiting to say, what's up? I turned around and they said something. I go, thank you. Seriously, thank you.

So it was like both versions of those in about 15 seconds, which was, it was hilarious. In the moment, I was like, this is ridiculous. But yeah, just a good, just a good thank you. Thank you. David Borg, time for your final pick. I can't believe I'm getting this in the last round. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up it's like shut up is like fun and jovial I mean and even sometimes you're saying it like shut the fuck up

but yeah that one you can accent any one of those words be like shut the fuck up or just, like shut the fuck up. But yeah, that one, you can accent any one of those words. Be like, shut the fuck up. Or just be like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You can accent every one of those words. Shut, shut the fuck up. Shane. Sorry, Shane. Sorry.

I love you, man. I can't wait to see it. He's always mad at me. No, it's great, man. I can't wait to see you. He's always mad at me. No, it's great, man. Why don't you go eat a fucking Mountain Dew flavored burrito, Sean? I will. Boy, if they ever get one, big Taco Bell.

Your boy, you'll sell one at least. Taco Bell got that on lock. Fucking poverty flavor Kislek. That was a pretty good shade right there. If you ever need to come back at Shane Ezekiel Torres, always remember that in the serial draft, he said that he would pour milk

over caramel popcorn, and that is the most poverty-stricken sentence. He was lying. I know he was lying. Since I make meth. So don't let him come for you on your neck or your lifestyle

or your Mountain Dew enjoying when that bitch has given us. I like how we found a way to flip this on Shane who's not here. Fuck you, Shane. He can't stick up for himself.

I love you, Shane. I do too. Dual set time for your final pick. Fuck. Fuck it. I'm going to pick the fuck um it's mmhmm oh yeah again from both

great fifth round talent that's amazing it was between that and you fool but no one's really saying that anymore that was a very you know black and white situation. But the number of, one, I realize that certain people just can't get the inflection right.

But also, it can be a- It's like an eyes-cutting thing. Right. You know what I mean? It's like a down and up. Ooh, that's a, it hurts. No, we can't do it. Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm just sitting here like, I can't, I try, like, mm. White people have a slight version of it, which is, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay, mm-hmm, mm you like, I can't. I try. White people have a slight version. I vote to... Dude, I've done that so many times. But that's solely condescending. Right? Solely condescending.

We can go... I wish we had... That's a conspiratorial. Yeah, the face goes with it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. I wish we had video just so you could see. Yeah, the face goes with it. All the eyes. We need to cut that. Can we cut that part out?

We'll share it with the Patreon. So good. The exact lexicon. Yeah, let's see that. It's so good. And you got a bonnet on. There's a joint. Because there's the, like,

go, I'm with you, Go on. That is bullshit. Baron Vaughn used to have this joke about, he said, this is my impression of a black woman in the water. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And I screamed. That's such a Baron joke, too. and I screamed that's such a good that's such a barren joke too that's so funny fucking screamed up there with David Borey's alligator joke

I love that joke that's how I fell in love with David Borey I saw him at high places he told that joke and I got back to LA and told everybody that fucking joke I told people that joke for years. The crowd was like, what? And it was me and Troy Walker

grabbing each other's arms, screaming in the fucking back. Right? Oh no, we have to cut that part out too. A lot of editing. You're sending a joke that you have to be cut out. No, you don't have to explain it. No, I look

very excited. I'm excited for you, to be cut out. You don't have to explain it. No, I look very satisfied. I'm excited for you for even going there. You weren't sure, but you did it. Congratulations, baby. I liked it. Now we're all in the buzz. Hell yeah. It had to happen because I know that two of the people

on this podcast can't set their mouth right or their face right to even get the inflection correct. So, mm-hmm. It's something you've got to say with your chest. Well, I am going to take for my final pick, this is at least the Jews version of mm-hmm, but I think might even be a little bit, might just be white people in general,

which is, mm, okay. I was picked okay, but I know I couldn't say it right. That's a good one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

All right. Okay. And I can't really do that one either. Yeah. I'm just out here with no pedals. Yeah. I don't know what to do. I've done it where some white person

said something to me and I was done it where some white person said something and I was just like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Basically, oh, this is what we're doing

out here on our own today? Okay. I understand the rules of engagement now. Okay. I feel like you got to say it with like De Niro face. Yeah.

Okay. I can't see my face at all. I mean, you are walking through the shadows in a dark moonlight. I'm shrouded in darkness. It's just because you're backlit. That's all. I mean, you are walking through the shadows in a dark moonlight. I'm shrouded in darkness. It's just because you're backlit.

That's all. I'm up close. I'm very handsome. Yay! This is true. This is undoubtedly true. Okay. It's our final pick to recap.

Sean, you went first. And you took representative. Motherfucker! Go! Take a bite! Which we've all heard you say a million times anyone who knows you shot george anyone who knows you and then thank you david you went second you took i love you excuse me and get off me and shut the fuck up that That sounds right. Don't say you went third and you took sir slash ma'am. And then, well, some of these feel difficult for me to do, but I'm going to do my best.

You got it. You got it. Do it. Who are you? Who are you talking to? Uh-huh. How dare you? Or even how very dare you?

Yes. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! I sound like a dolphin when I do it. You're doing great. You're doing great. And then finally, mm-hmm.

I knew he was going to hit it! I knew he was going to hit it! I knew he was going to hit it! As soon as she said it, I was like, Ian's going to nail it. I got it. I got it.

I knew he was going to hit it. I knew he was going to hit it. Thank you. I feel good right now. I feel good right now. I didn't even need that second cup of coffee. Now, like, Ian's going to nail it. I got it. I got it. I knew he was going to hit it. Thank you. I feel good right now. I feel good right now. I didn't even need that second cup of coffee. Now, Sean, your turn. Oh, okay. You know what? I'll allow it.

All right. That's all I need. There you go. I went last with, hey, no, thank you. I'm stuffed. Get! Okay. That was a waiter

talking you into dessert. Do it again and imagine there's a waiter talking you into dessert. Do it all again. Hey, no thank you. Are you sure? I'm stuffed. Come on. Get! Sure. Okay. I will have it. I will have it.

I will have it. All right. Cranberry lick. Cranberry lick. Cranberry lick. Cranberry lick. All right. We got to go.

You know, pancakes for the table. Pancakes for the table. There we go. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Thank you so much for holding us down.

Hope you enjoyed the live stream. It was a lot of fun for us. We'll be in another one soon. On the Patreon, of course, AFE mailbags, AFE bonus episodes, auction drafts, live streams, all sorts of fun stuff, pre-rolls, yada, yada, yada. New shotguns. Shout out to

everyone on the AFE shaslackity. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit. Hope you enjoyed this one. I'm back, bitchy! Shout out to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos with a beautiful gold watch sitting in Sean's kitchen

shining. We've had a lovely weekend here together. Love it. I was going to say a lovely week here together. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats, and more important than all of that Tune in again next week to another Brand new episode of All Fantasy

Everything Now that's something you can say with your chest that was a hate gun podcast