All Fantasy Everything - Things You Wish You Were Into (w/ David Gborie, Sean Jordan and Sean O'Connor)

Episode Date: February 8, 2018

This episode isn’t about the people we are, it’s about the people we wish we were, or that we wish we wish we were. Or like, who we think we wish we’d like to be. Something, man, idk. Host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Sean Jordan, David Gborie and Sean O’ConnorSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that reaches into a velvet bag of cosmic dust, pulls some in the palm of its hand, draws in a deep breath, and then puffs out a gentle breath, spreading the cosmic dust into the air where it twinkles and shimmers and glitters. And as you try to focus on one of them, your eye is pulled into it as though it had its own gravitational field. And as your pupil dilates and you begin to see more and more of what was in that speck of cosmic dust, you begin to realize that in there is everything that has ever been

and ever will be and ever is right now. And we look at that speck and say, why don't we draft some of that stuff? That's why we do this. You hear that? Everybody listen. I got back on my bullshit. That is true.

That's why we do this. I got back on my bullshit. Someone's back in the game. I lost it for a while. I was in a dark place. You came back. I don't think you did, but you think you did

and that's all that matters. Some of them got weird, man. Some of them got weird and short, but maybe I had to stray far from heaven to really come home again. We should have done all that ayahuasca when we did.

This new one, I don't even know why, but it made me, when I heard you say it afterwards, I wanted to call you Mr. October. Yeah. I don't even know why.

I'll take it. That felt real right. October 9th is my birthday. I'll take Mr. October. Every year is one month long as far as I'm concerned. That's 100% right. October, Playboy. It's October.

It's October. We have a wonderful array of guests today. Immediately just blows it out. We are on the podcast. Don't be mad at me. today on the podcast. You finished your draft. Don't be mad at me. We went to... Sean, you can talk or whatever.

Oh, perfect. You don't have to wait. You got to tell this story, though. You're doing the Shane thing? We went to... When Shane Torres got his first Conan set lined up, we were...

We were at the Lloyd Center, me, Zach, and Shane. I must have been visiting. Yeah. And y'all were still living in portland and uh we went to lloyd and just walked around to different stores and just were like i'm gonna be on conan the three of us would stand like 50 feet away from shane and we'd see him talking to the whatever person working there and he'd just be like oh i'm gonna be on tv i need a shirt i'm gonna be on conan and we were doing that thing would just be like, I'm going to be on TV. I need a shirt. I'm going to be on Conan.

And we were doing that thing where it's like three above 30-year-olds dying laughing at seemingly nothing. Nobody else is like, what's funny? Oh, not nothing because we were bullying one of our good, good friends. That's a good feeling. I was holding onto him like,

I'm going to piss my pants. He goes, I don't see why it's so funny. I don't really get it. Because you're the one we're making fun now he's done conan again and a half hour since and i've been on the bench the whole time so because we did that because we did that we love you shane yeah yeah shame buddy buy his album buy his album buy his album yeah buy 9.2 on pitch for liberty with the artwork on the front but still buy it um sean sean cougar melon jordan is in the crib. Joining us here in beautiful downtown Los Angeles at the HeadGum Studios.

Yeah, Lyft driver got me here real quick. I know you left your life behind, but I'm going to say you are blued up from the shoe up. You are blued up from the shoe up. I realized that today. I was like, am I still in the GD film? Alamir Park, how we blew up. The gangster disciple Crip originated from Chicago, moved over to Sioux Falls, South Dakota just to beat me in. Am I still in there?

You're wearing a blue, it looks like a Pendleton. It's not, but you're wearing like a blue flannel. Vans, it's a Vans flannel. Blue Lakai socks, blue Nikes, khakis, true to the streets. Do you have blue eyes? Sioux Falls, I do have blue eyes. Shit. Yeah, that's why you do it.

It pops. It pops. You have blue eyes too. I have blue eyes. So when I wear blue, oh my God, my dick is begging to be sucked. Begging. A couple of blue eyes. I mean, the opposite.

People are begging me to do that. I don't know. I'm sucking. I'm sucking. I'm sucking my own dick. The dogs from the Begging Strips commercial, I'm blowing him. That's how it works. I'm sorry.

I messed up. I'm blowing Kevin Bacon. That's what it is. I've never been married. I'm a self-suck champ. And you have that shirt in blue. Yeah. Yeah.

Just a couple blue-eyed Irish boys over here. Sean and Sean with the blue eyes. A couple blue-eyed Irish Sean. One of us has enough whiskey for both of us over here. What did you guess? You poured yourself a tall. Well, because I'm a health nut now, I walk to work. That's true.

I took a lift here from work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I figured why not get into the cups a little early tonight. You're a health nut now. He's a health nut. I'm a diehard walker and tour from work. You walk to and fro work. Oh, how far?

At least a mile. Eight blocks. Yikes. At least a mile. Real health nuts. But you're sweaty when you get to work. Oh, I don't really. Since I'm so healthy now, I don't really sweat all that much because there's not

a lot of toxins in there. He's in the gym every day. Well, Ian's at the gym every day and so I see him coming home and I'm like, I should probably turn into a health nut by damn self.

Yeah. And so, you know, I drink this, I drink adults apple juice and I walk to and from work. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on the Instagram.

True story. What can we tell people about you and where you're going to be and what you're going to be doing? What the fuck? What's your story? Sioux Falls, South Dakota with Kyle Kinney on March 3rd, I think.

So go to that. Everybody drive into Sioux Falls. Last time he was there, he got fucked out of like 12 grand or something. Oh, damn. So you're coming to get it. Not 12 grand. It was like three grand or something. He got fucked out of a lot of money.

That's a comedian's 12. Ain't no 12 grand for any comedians in Sioux Falls. Yeah, that's for sure 12 grand to me. Cat Williams isn't getting, or not Cat, why did I pick him? Cat Hart isn't getting 12 grand in Sioux Falls. Was that the first guy in your head? Who's the biggest comedian? Cat Williams.

He just been right on the front of your dome all day. You're like, I'm going to say Cat Williams. I'm going to say Cat Williams on this podcast and in the first five minutes. We can't talk about this weekend. Is that what you're getting at? What's this weekend? Oh, nothing. Oh, that's coming.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, we're not allowed to. Uh-uh. Okay. Yeah. Can't even drop hints? Well, fuck. I don't know.

What's your hint? I don't even know what's going on. It's just like we might be coming home for a second. Yeah, we might be home for a second. Might be home for a second. Yeah, we might be home for a second. Might be home for a second. Yeah, we might be in Portland for a second, so figure it out. If it seems like there's an event with guests where they aren't listed happening at a comedy club, the good one, and they're not listing the guests, maybe Sean and I are going to be there. Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe. And maybe I'll just get drunk around that whole area for the rest of the night. And maybe we'll be dropping into shows that weekend. I'm just saying Portland to work in. Maybe that's happening. Why so much mystery? I don't know. I don't know.

Over you guys performing at Harvey's Comedy Club. You don't like it? It's not Harvey's. We just want people to come. People are going to sell out anyway. Yeah, yeah. It'll be fun. Okay, cool.

Anyways. Wait, can we say that we're at South by then? Oh, yeah. Marissa, we can talk about that, right? We're going to be doing the All Fantasy Everything podcast, which you have come to know and love at South by Southwest which I believe is some sort of

data festival? I'm not sure. I think it's a data conference. It's a carne asada conclave. On, what day is that? March 10th. March 10th we're goingth. March 10th. Yeah, we'll be at South by Southwest doing All Fantasy Everything.

We're going to be on a show with our friends Demi, whose last name I'm not even... Can you first... Can never say his last name. I've never guessed it. You should just say Demi. Demi and Miel.

Demiel. Demiel. What's their show called again, Marissa? Punch Up the Jam. Punch Up the Jam. We're their show called again, Marissa? Punch Up the Jam. Punch Up the Jam. They're doing Punch Up the Jam, and then we're going to give you guys one hot hour of all fantasy everything. Just dripping off the bone.

Hot hour. And then we're going to be out in Austin just getting into trouble. I'm going to be wilding. We're all buying cowboy boots. I might get two sweat towels. Drugs. Barbecue. Has everyone been to South by Southwest?

I never have. Yes. No, man. I never have. Really? Oh my god. The first time I went to South by Southwest I was suspended from South by Southwest for five

years from the Booker. I almost fought a Marine. During my set. The voice of this wild man. America's sweetheart Sean O'Connor. Oh, Sean O'Connor. America's sweetheart Sean O'Connor with us.

At Sean's O'Cons on Twitter. Yeah, Sean O'Cons. Sean O'Cons. S-E-A-N-O-C-O-N-N-Z. Yeah. Oh, man. I do not deal well with authority. I'll tell you that much. No, not the Marines.

Was it John Cena? Map it out a little bit. It was a guy. He was like an impersonator of John Cena in the Marines. But he, yeah, I told him that he can't sleep at night. He shouldn't be able to sleep at night because he's killed babies. Oh, my God. And he walked up on stage, took the mic out of my hand to kill me,

and then Michelle Balloon saved my life. And then I wasn't allowed to drink the rest of the week at South by Southwest. Sure, sure, sure. Just the whole city of Austin got together. We got to get rid of this guy. Yeah, sure, there are a lot of sexual assaults happening, but this guy's the problem. This is the problem. He's insulting the troops.

Well, let's try not to do that at South by. No. No, I was just going to drink some Lone Star beer. Air Force or lower for us. I love the troops now, guys. I love them. If you're in the Coast Guard, though, we're try not to do that at South By. No. No, I was just going to drink some Lone Star beer. Air Force are lower for us. I love the troops now, guys. I love them. If you're in the Coast Guard, though, we're fucking coming for you. We're coming for the Coast Guard.

Don't even try being in the National Guard around me. Don't even try. Don't even do it. Don't even try. If you come up to me as a merchant marine, if you come up to me a man as a merchant marine, it's not going to go well. Is a merchant marine even a marine? I don't even know what it is.

Dude, I don't think so. I don't think so either. I think that's a sailor. I think it's like a soldier of fortune for sailing. Is it? Oh, I thought it was like a sailor who turned his boat into like a store. Oh. I thought it was like-

Or like an export-import guy. I thought it was like, I got this barge and we're taking this shit to China. I need some hands. Let me call up some merchant marines. Oh, I thought it was like somebody where for the military services they run cargo but aren't necessarily affiliated with that. I bet we're all wrong. You could have told me any one of these and I'd be like, that's exactly what it is. I think mine's the most wrong.

Yeah. Yours is just what those two words mean. Separately. As a crow flies, what do these words mean? A to B. How do I get there? That's a goddamn merchant marine. Sean O'Connor is a very talented stand-up comedian, television writer, executive producer.

Oh, EP. Oh, yeah. Finally got that big EP credit. That big EP credit. We worked together on The Late Late Show with James Corden, and then you've been off on various other ventures. Do you have anything to tell people about to look out for? Nothing I can mention.

Nothing you can mention. Are you maybe going to be in hometown next weekend? Maybe. Oh, maybe I'll be in Portland. Maybe you're going to be at home. Opening for Steve Byrne at Harvey's. God damn it. Oh, you're going to. This podcast is Steve Byrne at Harvey's god damn it this podcast is now brought to you by

Harvey's Comedy Club Ronnie Rodney Piper died here oh no is Harvey's still open or did it close it's open again they got some like fucking shitty like one of the shitty dudes like an offender

somebody dug up an article. Yeah, somebody dug up an article, a fairly recent article, about how he, I think, like pushed a woman in his club or something. And he's just like, people can change. I don't know. He's a fucking prick. So they gave him his club back? No, this is the new owner.

Oh, okay. They had like people tried to dig up some stuff. The new owner is like the guy who killed the Muslim woman on the train? Yeah. I know three things about Portland in the last year. He's awaiting trial. Right. Yeah, he's a bad guy, right?

He's a bad, bad guy. Yeah, good. He didn't kill the Muslim woman. He killed the two guys who tried to save the Muslim woman. Oh, yes. The two Portland heroes. The two Portland heroes. They're on my Mount Portland more.

They fucking should be. That fucked me up. I used to take that train every single day. She, Wallace, those two dudes, and Ian Carmel. Put me on there. Yeah. Put me on there. And we'll say their names.

Ricky John Best and Tal- Oh, man. This guy. Taliesin- Demi. Just say Demi. Demi. Taliesin Mirden Namkameche.

Why did I- Yeah, let's squash that. Why can't you bring up these awful things? I'm so sorry. No, we're sticking in it. Just because you've had a little bit of whiskey doesn't mean we can't talk about very serious issues for the rest of this podcast. We're going to talk about feelings. Were you on the train avoiding this whole thing?

No. I just took it every day. It was such a crazy thing. I was on it every day. It was such a gnarly fucking thing. It's awful. I was against it the moment I heard it. He didn't even have to stop and think for a second.

Hard against it. Oh, it was next to my show. It was next to your show? Yeah. My show was the next day. The Hollywood Max show. Remember? Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. Those dudes are heroes. Wow. RIP to two true pimps, unless they disagreed

with that language, which they very well might have. So we can't tell anyone about what you got coming up. Exciting stuff, though. Go on Twitter. I'll tweet and I'm going to do shows. Stay tuned. You're a new father. I want to promote my son.

Start now. Congratulations. A lot's changed since the last time I'm here. I'm way bleaker thanks to Comedy Central's corporate. And I have a son. Oh, I love that. That's so rad.

It is a bleak show. It's so dark. Yeah. It's great. It's wonderful. I'm here to promote that. We all like it. It's so good.

I'm the only LA comic not in it. I'm not in it either I'm not in it none of us are in it four guys oh my god that should be the show that's the show

four dudes who weren't in the other show they left us out of it so we could host Talkin' Corporate yeah oh my god that's how we're gonna

which is what this is Talkin' Corporate Talkin' Corporate Talkin' Corporate yeah how do you like how do you like being a father it's what's that like i mean it's great it's good and uh great like as he gets older we hit more milestones yeah uh it's a it was annoying for like six months how i'm glad that you just said that yeah thank god i feel like nobody ever lets that be known that it could suck for a minute.

Yeah, and it does. You get invited to cool things and you can never go to them unless you want your wife to be mad at you. And I don't want that. So I didn't get to do anything fun. I didn't get to see any Oscar movies. Oh, yeah. But now he walks, kind of, and he says, Dada. And I'm like, I'm in love with this kid.

Oh, I love it. How old is he now? Eight months. Fantastic. Yeah, but for six months, it sucks. And no dad will tell you that. This is why you come to All Fantasy Everything. Hot dad take.

Get that straight note. I'm so glad to hear that, because you were the guy who was the most like me, where I'm like, oh, he's having a kid now? Yeah. Where it could be like, I mean, you were married and everything, but I'm like, oh, that'm like oh he's having a kid now yeah it could be like i mean you were married and everything but like uh but i'm like oh that would be like if i had a kid yeah i'm not put together like i'm not ready for a child yeah like and i still don't know if i am like my wife and i they they tell you about all these classes you should take and we didn't take

a single one of them they just you're married that helps yeah they just give you the baby still oh yeah i know how this is gonna go so we were just like give her drugs the baby shoots out and then they let our us take them home that that is great do you have to sign them out or anything or is it just like yeah like he has to get like thumbprints and then make sure like they do a hearing test but that's it but if if you want to ask for a friend who doesn't want to be on the grid with their baby, what if you just had the baby and then just bailed? I don't do it at a hospital then. Okay.

Because they have round-the-clock security making sure no one steals babies. But do it at a hospital because it's a baby being born. But a baby could be born anywhere. They could, but I'm recommending doing it at a hospital. I just want to raise a kid outside the system. I don't know what's going to happen. Do you know how many babies were born in the 1800s? Yeah.

Like, a lot. Between 2,000 and 5,000. Yeah, yeah. Just go into the woods and plop it out. Let a wolf cut the umbilical cord. Yeah, just for strength. Because of the bargain we made with the wolves. The sacred pact. The sacred wolf pact wolf back yeah where they

get to eat the placenta and they won't eat the baby dude i'm fucking over wolves by the way why i don't know man i'm more of a coyote guy oh yeah that's true i like varmints you must be talking about the university of south dakota coyotes my my alma mater if i were to graduate i'm more of an uh sdsu jackrabbits fan oh back the fuck up, dude. Excuse me. Man, you're lucky you're across the room. You know what I mean? That's where I'm at. And I like whatever school is in North Dakota.

The Bison, I believe. The Bismarck? Is it Bismarck? I don't know. The Bismarck Key. The Bismarck Key. The Bismarck Phil Jackson played. Oh, I think he did play at North Dakota. In North Dakota?

At North Dakota University. Sean looks so upset that somebody else went to North Dakota. Sean's always like Tom Brokaw, January Jones, other people from South Dakota. Yeah, it comes up. Phil Jackson. He went to North Dakota. Why do you hate North Dakota, though? He hates it.

Why? Is this like a rollerblades thing? You should stick together. You guys should stick. Yeah, that's like, do the Carolinas hate each thing? You should stick together You guys should stick Yeah that would That's like Do the Carolinas hate each other? You think you know some people

You think you got a good read on some people I just don't know South Dakota You guys have Mount Rushmore You have Mount Rushmore Yeah you do You know it That's it You got it

You know it I got it The Black Hills One thing You read the whole book right there Is it Black Hills in South Dakota? Sure is David Sturgis

Don't look at me for these answers Sure is Wind chapped boobs everywhere I imagine Yeah yeah Oh Sturgis South Dakota? Sure is, David. Sturgis. Don't look at me for these answers. Wind chapped boobs everywhere, I imagine. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Sturgis, South Dakota. A lot of metal moms. Hosted a bunch of WCW road wilds. And Klan rallies.

Yeah. Probably. Yeah. The big two. One of the whitest kids you know is from South Dakota. Timothy Williams. Oh, he still lives there, right? Watertown.

Watertown boy. Timothy Williams is back there. Watertown boy. They ripped off Kyle Kinane. Yeah. 12 Gs. You're writing a whole new book over here, Sean. Timmy Williams ripped off Kyle Kinane in a Ponzi scheme.

Timmy Williams, enemy of the podcast, ripped off friend of the podcast, Kyle Kinane. Kyle Kinaniac. Maniac Mac 10. I'm out of breath. David Borey. Yes, sir. At the G of silent on Twitter. Yes, sir.

Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Yes, sir. What's popping withON on Twitter. Yes, sir. Coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Yes, sir. What's popping with you? What do you have coming up for people to come see? Phoenix, Arizona. All the way to Tacoma. My, sir. I'm not going to be at Tacoma, though.

Tacoma don't come. That was quick. No, Phoenix, Arizona. I'm going to be at the Crescent Ballroom on February 13th. Sounds like it's far away from everything else in Phoenix. I don't know what to tell you, but I'm going to be headlining my dick off, so come to that. And then, if you don't live in Phoenix,

if you live in Des Moines, where my other fan hotbed, Des Moines, Iowa, People do love you in Des Moines. I get love in des moines shout out to everybody who put me on their snapchat those big shots hispanic gangstery looking guys thank you anyways february 22nd through the 25th i am headlining the des moines funny bone with becky robinson come out we're gonna get drunk and to get drunk. And then I'm South by Southwest.

I'm just official now. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to be. We're all official. But I'm going to be. If you're in Austin, I'm also going to be doing stand up there till the 13th. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be doing stand up the night of that Saturday.

Okay. And I'm going to be there drunk. Maybe. I might be blacked out. I'll be there. No, you will be. It's a promise. It's a promise. Right? Last time I a right last time i did south by south west is place to drink marissa you'll make sure i don't die right okay cool thank you last time i did it i just remember yelling with sean patton about uh

roast battle that sounds right that's the last thing negative or positive it was it was i was yelling with sean patton okay i got it negative they're not even comics fucking comics hand me that water burger okay we can get into it let's get into it they were mad that we didn't get into it last week what oh the podcast oh yeah carmel do you have anything coming up? First of all, Eddie and Carmel. I don't. Just that thing I can't talk about. And then, God, I'll be at South by myself. My damn self. I'll be at Moon Tower this year, too.

So, Austin, you got two chances to see me. Let's just say it. We're going to go kill some people somewhere this weekend. We're 100% going to do that. Yeah. And then I just got back from the Grammys, which were dope. Can I talk some shit for a second? Yeah.

Dude, please do. I pray you will. Can people just fucking like stuff? Twitter is such a negative fucking place, man. This isn't talking shit. This is saying be cool. I mean, I talk my favorite shit. I like to talk shit.

I love talking shit. I like talking shit amongst friends. There's a living room for that. But I'm like, with the Grammy Awards and shit like that, I'm not even talking about the stuff we wrote. I'm talking about the show itself because I was just following along on Twitter. Yeah, I wasn't watching the Grammys. Yeah.

But going off of what people were saying on Twitter, I'm like, there's nothing that's this bad. Nothing. Nothing in the world. It was a good, and it was like a good show. I watched the entire thing, and I enjoyed it. Kendra killed it. Bruno Mars had a fun performance. Rihanna was there was there i don't think mars has ever not had a fun and yeah it pisses me off when people compare bruno mars to prince yes saying he's a prince

ripoff because he's not he's a michael jackson prince hybrid yes he is yeah he's fucking amazing and he's doing amazing he's the most charismatic entertaining man to ever be alive I'd kiss that dude I'd kiss that dude he could raw dog me I don't care I came around I have talk shit about Bruno Mars on this podcast and he won me over this weekend

I am fully on board I don't want to listen to it all the time but there were people complaining on Twitter like Bruno Mars won another Grammy 20,000 people have to vote on these awards they're not going to pick fucking Tove Lo I don't want to listen to it all the time. But there were people complaining on Twitter like, oh, Bruno Mars won another Grammy. 20,000 people have to vote on these awards. They're not going to pick fucking Tove Lowe, you pieces of hipster shit. Also, you forget about these people is the thing is, and I think about this a lot, and then I go on the internet and I remember, they're fucking losers.

Yes. They're tweeting about why the Grammy, they're fucking losers. Yes. You fucking nerd in your mom's house? Or maybe you're in your house. You're still a fucking nerd? Who cares? they're fucking losers. Yes. You fucking nerd in your mom's house? Or maybe you're in your house. You're still a fucking nerd? Who cares? You're fucking whack.

It's just there's so much whackness on the timeline that I couldn't take it. Like things. Yeah. I don't like to hate things. Like some things. There's a few things I don't like. Yeah. We've talked about them.

North Dakota, for example. You could find something you liked in the Grammys. Yeah, but it's- I'm okay with it. I do not- The Grammys, I'm'm just like i have no horse in this race right like these are not for me why are we looking for it yeah like for to validate something when it comes to like the golden globes i love you see i love shitting on the shape of

water the listeners didn't see but a girl fucks a fish and that's weird. It can't be that good. I got it at the house and I still haven't watched it yet. It can't be that good. I mean, that's the thing about, there's something different about the movies one and the music one. One I worked on. That's what I was just going to say.

I don't want people to hate what I hate. So keep tweeting about Lil Bow Wow, but stay the fuck away from the Grammys. The Grammys is like all of music, whereas at this point, the fuck away from the grammy it's just like the grammys is like all of music whereas like at this point the oscars and the golden globes have become a very specific kind of oscar baity movie exactly it's all the same type of movie yeah and everyone has like like kind of a horse in the race because everyone's like oh i really liked that movie yeah or i really like that movie and so immediately like because i really And so immediately, like, because I really liked Lady Bird

or The Phantom Thread now for the Oscars, but I like those two movies. I'm like, fuck Three Billboards, fuck Shape of Water. Man, I've heard some bad stuff about Three Billboards. I have too. I don't even know what it's about. Yeah, it's, I don't know. It's like if the Oscars were the Grammys,

then like also Jumanji would be nominated. Yeah. You know? Like those big pop-up movies. I heard Jumanji was kind of dope. I heard it was dope. I heard it was good. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Is The Rock in the new Jumanji? That's right. The Grammys, the things that cool people listen to, like cool in quotations because they're not actually cool, but we think they're cool. Nobody's cool but me and my friends. Whatever's whatever you think is cool is cool they're never getting nominated no they're just never got them no and then like when like the arcade fire one they won on like one of their worst albums whack albums yeah just like it was their worst album no

the one after it fucking dog yeah really suburbs Yeah. Really? Suburbs is good. Suburbs is good. Is that the one that won Grammys? It won the Grammys, yeah. Oh, can we? Yeah, yeah. But it was their third album. The other two were better. They should have won.

I don't give a fuck. I mean, guys, we can say who we think should have won stuff all day. Yeah. That's true. We should get to the draft. I just like Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga. They're fantastic. You shit on them, I'm going to fucking cut your head off.

Your girl Kesha was powerful. I love Kesha. By the way, that is the thing that has been really bothering me, is everyone's now on board with her. Everyone's on Kesha. And I was first. Sean O'Connor, you were early on it? You're on tape.

So early. On tape. I've never heard anybody who went to a Kesha show come back and say, was it Solomon? I've seen multiple people I know, and I've always been like, oh, you're going to a kesha show come back and say it wasn't solomon just i've seen multiple people i know and i've always been like oh you're going to the kesha show and everybody i know who comes back is like that was the best shit fucking life-changing like i as i was watching i'm like this is going to be a thing i remember my whole life you've been on kesha for more than more than half a decade oh yeah like early adop that. Went to an after party on the Animal Tour.

Met her at a strip club. She was real weird to me. Yeah. Real weird. That's how you know it's a real love, because you're still here. Yeah. Rapping hard. That all adds up. I'll defend her forever. So, yeah. So that fucking... Fuck with Kesha.

That'll be my plug. Fuck with Kesha. That's a good button. We're here today to draft fucking fuck with Kesha. That'll be my plug. Fuck with Kesha. That's a good button. That's a good button. We're here today to draft things we wish we were interested in. Sure. Things that we think would make us more interesting people or cooler people or whatever our motivation is. It's just things that we honestly are not interested in.

Things you want to be into. But we wish we were into. Yep. And we've gathered here to draft that. And the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. And we go on shoot. And here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Oh, David. Oh, and David Borey wins. Bang. He's silent. Fuck you, dude. Left arm, they call the gun. Yeah. Mr. September.

Fuck you, bro. Because I don't make the playoff. That's right. Fuck you. I'm, oof. What's the order? I'm going to start with me. Before you determine the order, I would like to remind you it is a serpentine draft.

And what does that mean? That's a great question. Sort of like, kind of like a slithering, like a back and forth situation. Like, let's say later tonight I have a beer in one hand and whiskey in the other. Are you at the roost? And my head just kind of, I might be at the roost. Okay. So a tall PBR in one hand and a Cutty Sark in the other.

Yep. And my head kind of goes. Do you have wings coming? I might have some wings coming. Okay. And so a tall PBR in one hand and a Cutty Sark in the other. Maybe there's some Pad Thai coming as well. Okay.

And then I do like a back and forth thing with my head, kind of just kind of back and forth. There it is. Whiskey, beer, beer, whiskey. Kind of like that. That should clear it up. That's basically the draft. First in the first round,

he picks first in the second round. David, what will be the order of the draft? I think I'm going to go easy breezy. I'm going to horseshoe with you. So I'm first, you're last. So it's going to go me, Sean, Sean, Ian. Which could mean anything. David, O'Khan's.

David O'Khan's, Jordan, Carmel. Jordan, Carmel. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand new country,

you figure it out from there, but this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley, all right? You're not Jason Bourne. You can't do that. Two Damon movies. I'm out here. Obviously, you're not ready for that, but you still want to learn a new language because everyone in the world knows new languages. They know multiple languages, and we all only know one.

Get it done with Babbel. Babbel is going to help you the quickest way possible. You speak like a whole new you when you got Babbel. It's science-backed language learning app, and it's going to get you talking fast. It had science-backed. What else do you want? Wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors. That's the old school way to learn a new language. You know, Babbel, they have these 10-minute lessons. They're quick. They're handcrafted by over 200 language experts, and they're ready to get you talking in three weeks, ready to get you speaking a new language. I should say speaking a new language. You don't talk a language. Anyway, talking is the key to really knowing any language. You have to, you got to do it. You got to be saying it out loud. And Babbel, they have tools. They have

tools on the app where you can speak the language. They'll help you with your accent. There's things where on the app, they will talk to you and then you can decipher what they said. It's all the real world applications that you're going to need to actually use it. Babbel's tips and tools, like I said, they're grounded in real life situations. Everything's focused on conversation. So you're going to be ready to talk everywhere you go because that's the key. Conversation. You want to know how to get by, right?

And like I said, little 10-minute segments. They're perfect for, say, someone like myself, don't have a huge attention span. 10 minutes in and out, boom, you're done. And don't just try a word-for-word. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, shout out old lady's alma mater, and beyond, they prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college, which, come on, that's a no-brainer right there. So give it a try. Honestly, get up in there. And here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash all fantasy.

Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams. So I have life insurance. It had nothing to do with me. It's my wife did everything. But

it's tough. It's a hassle to go through and get. You have to research it, which I don't like researching anything. If I buy something, I just go into the person that works at the store and say, what is right in the middle? What's not the best? What's not the worst? And that is how I do it. With life insurance, obviously, you want to be a little bit more careful about that. But how do I know where to start? You know what I mean? I have no idea what to do, where to look. Nobody does. And that's what Policy Genius does. They just go in, they find and compare all the best quotes for you. They just go to all the nation's top insurers, and then they give you your best options. They're just a few clicks, and then you're going to find your lowest price. And their expert license support team is your advocate.

They work for you. They're not getting bonuses. They're not getting anything like that from certain insurance companies. They're not out there being smarmy. They just want to help you out. They're answering the questions, handling the paperwork, shaking the hands, kissing the babies. They're doing it all for you. And if you don't have life insurance, I know it sucks to talk about or to think about, but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on, probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from

a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor there. Don't put off life insurance. Make it easy with PolicyGenius. Head to PolicyGenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com. if you could. Let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your anxiety at bay, which, man, wouldn't that be nice? And it's going to do it all day long. It's like a Swiss army knife for your mind. Might sound like a magic pill. I know I said it before, but that's, I swear to God,

it's the plot of Limitless. It might sound like that, but you can actually get it done. There's the magic of microdosing with Schedule 35. Their products, they're backed by science and dosed to a precise amount so you get exactly what you need to tackle your toughest days and you don't get the hallucinogenic effects. I feel like there's a lot of stigma attached with things like this. But Schedule 35, they're on a mission to de-stigmatize and educate on the science and real world benefits of psilocybin, of which there are a ton. And they also want to make it accessible for everyone. Each order ships discreetly. No one's going to get in your business. No one's going to be in

your kitchen stirring your Kool-Aid. It just comes in a nice little box and it comes with a microdosing regime that keeps you on track. So you start small. I think that's the key to this. You start small and just let it ride. I know so many people do it. So, so, so many people do it. I don't think you're going to be disappointed. I strongly advise you give it a shot. And if you do, you get 15% off with code allfantasy at schedule35.co. That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use promo code allfantasy. Beautiful. So with the first pick and the things I wish I was interested in,

all fantasy, everything fantasy draft. David Boer, you are on the clock. So this, my first pick came to me recently because I was involved. I wasn't involved. One of my friends was handling some of this for me, and I wasn't able to do it, and I realized I don't know much about it. And I think it's always impressive when a man does it.

Business. And I'm not talking BID. That is so broad. I'm not talking BID, N-E-S-S. I guess mine. I just don't know how I don't know how it works So all encompassing business Is that too big?

Is that too big? What are you guys doing? Am I going too far? No, I say go for it A testament to how little you know about it Is that business is just what you call it What do you call it? I'm with you

I'm going to blow up it. I'm with you. You are the friend. I'm going to blow up this spot. No, no. Don't. I'm on your team. I don't get it either. I would have also said business. You clearly know it better than I do. I don't know anything about it.

I do know a little bit. I do know a little bit. I don't know how to negotiate. Every time I've been in a negotiation situation, I fucking cave because I don't care. I've been firing off emails. Yeah, you fire off. You're quick. I don't even. I've been firing off emails. Yeah, you fire off. You're quick. I don't even know. And I'm using terms.

Whenever people come to me with business, I get scared that I don't know anything. So I use terms that don't make any sense. I'm like, yeah, well, you know, we just got to gleam the cube on that. And then we stick some Vaseline on it. We bring it around the horn. You know, we reach a point of equity.

You got to use those manager terms like, listen, we want to hit the ground running on this. We bring it around the horn. You know, we reach a point of equity. Shacklackity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all got equity. You got to use those like manager terms like, listen, we want to hit the ground running on this. Keep our head on a swivel. Keep a real caveman simple. Middle school coach terms. Synergy, synergy, synergy. Yeah.

I just start using football terms like kick step, kick step. If you're going to fuck up, do it 110 miles an hour, all right? That's it. I don't know anything about business. And it's a bummer because at some point I'm going to have to, but I don't know. We're in an industry where people are constantly- I can't know anything about business. And it's a bummer. Because at some point, I'm going to have to. But I don't know. We're in an industry where people are constantly. I can't even sell weed.

I'm 30 years old. I can't even sell weed. You shouldn't. Shouldn't be selling weed. Okay, Sean. Okay, Sean. Okay, Sean. It shouldn't be.

Okay, Dad. What else shouldn't I be doing, Dad? That's about it. Okay, that's fine. Yeah. I'll let everything else go. Because you said business and not it. Business. Does it. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I'll let everything else go. Because you said business and then it... Business.

Does weed dealing fall into that? Yeah, because I can't do it. I have no mind for it. You know, HR, weed dealing, taxes. Overheads, chemical weapons engineering, everything. I heard Spike Lee... R&D.

D&D. I don't know any of it. C&C Music Factory. I don't know. That's my favorite joke that's ever been made on this podcast. I don't know any damn business. I don't know any damn business. R&D, D&D, C&C Music Factory.

The problem is that I want to get rich. Yeah. Well, you're in the silver game. Oh, man. You are in the silver game. Yeah. Your boy had to offload some shares. Oh, no, the silver?

Had to downsize? Let's just say, yeah, I'm pulling my hands out. But I'll get back in it. I'll get back in it. It's not a game you stand along. It's a double dutch. It's a double dutch. You've got to hop out for a second and have a glass of water.

You dip your feet in the bathtub, the silver game. Then you're like, I don't want to be in that bath yet. And maybe I'll get in some new shit. I don't know what. Opals? I couldn't think of anything. The Opals game? It's tough because we are in a line of work where people will try to take advantage of

you sometimes. They do. Successfully. All the time. I know how to not get fucked by a booker. I know how to be like, no, we can go back there, but you're going to give me this $250 and you're not going to

take these chicken wings off. I know how to do that. But that's not business. That's good. That's pretty good business. I know how to do that. I own my own business because you incorporated. I incorporated myself. And I have to constantly email my accountant to be like can i

pay myself and he's like yes yeah yourself okay sorry so like i got to the point where me and my accountant only talk like in july yeah because i'm like i i don't know how to do anything so i just have like a document and i just do taxes every two years yeah and i'm like don't ask him questions i just pay myself what i think i deserve yeah every two years you say yeah this is in we're gonna have to talk off air i don't know if i don't know if we're there yet me and you david paying taxes every two or by the way paying taxes but by the way before i was here I was paying taxes every five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My man, that's what I wanted to hear.

And getting money back sometimes. You're like, why don't I do this every year? Yeah, how did that work out? The government is pretty chill about that thing where you can not pay taxes for five years and then suddenly do it and they're like, here's your money. Because my shit is, what was I taking from you? Yeah, no. I was getting paid in drink tickets. As long as you didn't star in Blade 2 and pocket all that money, you're good.

You know what's funny is when people tell you, they're like, oh, you can write that off. And I'm like, I'd have to do the taxes to write that off. I'd also have to know what the fuck that means. But I just sweep her under the rug instead. There's definitely a guy in the IRS listening to this being like, we're going to be pulling some files. Come get me! Come fucking get me! We're right here. I'll consider whatever

fine I have to pay for late taxes. My name is Nathan Lund. Come at me! Business. Great first step. And I know it's big. That's what I was worried about is that I was painting with a broad brush. I think it's proper. I love that you did worried about is that I was painting with a broad brush. I think it's proper. I love that you did the blown up thing where you go, business, and your arms just got farther apart.

That's naturally how I talk. I'm an expressive people. Business. No, no, no. I can handle my business. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Business. I don't want nobody listening.

I can handle my business. Don't come at me like I can't handle business. That's on me. I can't handle business. That's on me. Yeah. I can't handle my business all the time, and't handle business That's on me Yeah I can't handle my business All the time

And that's why I fuck up Business Locked tight So if somebody call you like What's up Borey I'm coming over I got some business to handle You'd be like

Shit man don't come over They very clearly I'm gonna crash down I'm gonna crash down I'm gonna handle some business Business Some busyness Bussiness

Bussiness Bussiness Sean O'Connor it's time for your first pick Of things you wish you were interested in Okay so I'm just going to give you my strategy Okay My strategy is I'm trying to build The perfect Sean Oh yeah

I think we're all kind of doing that Yeah I didn't think about that but that's good That's what I want so that's why I'm going to doing that. Yeah, I didn't think about that, but that's good. That's what I want. So that's why I'm going to draft running. Shiking running. I hate running. Everybody does. I hate it. I think I've done it like legit running 12 times in my life.

I'm 32 years old. I've done it 12 times. And the last time I did it, I got such a migraine from running a block. I was like, I'm never running again. You got a migraine. That's not i was like i'm never running again that's not even how it's supposed to work it's the worst feeling in the world you're out of breath in your heart you're like this is fucking crazy i'm not supposed to feel like this yeah isn't it wild how we're like uh adults and you're like when was the last time i ran as fast as i could i'm like i had

i have to go back years i was thinking that like when was the last time i was physically frightened yeah oh yeah like enough to run away from yeah yeah oh i must have been like 18 because i called like this kid a nazi yeah and he was chasing me with a baseball bat in the town and i ran and i ran wait to your credit that's some nazi shit all right okay. This is the story. I really like this girl. She was dating this guy. I was like, he's a Nazi rapist. She told him I said that. Oh, no. He MySpace messaged me saying he was going to kick my ass.

Oh, he MySpaced you. I was like, well, meet me in Red Bank. I brought all of my friends there. My friends show up late. I see him. He starts chasing me with a bat. I run full as fast as I can, which is not very fast, directly

into a wooden gate that took my breath away. Did he just stop? He's like, well, you did it. Yeah, no, he was like, oh, fuck. This isn't fair. You know what? Because he was actually a good guy, and he wasn't a Nazi or a rapist. But that's how

I talked back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a different shot. It was a rapist. What? Whoa. That's how I talked back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a different Sean. It was a different Sean. It was a different Sean. It was the MySpace era. It's the Sean who didn't run. That was 31-year-old Sean.

We were all hopped up on Chingy, Midwest Swing back then. Chingy, Midwest Swing, and hormones. I was talking crazy. Air Force Ones? Eating Jack in the Box every day. Dude, I used to drink like four Sparks in a night. Yeah. Oof, man, man.

That'll get you there real quick. I was drinking whatever Winco's off-brand energy drink was with whatever their like pop-off fucking vodka was. It was bad times. I was drinking whatever was in that gas can that got passed to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got diarrhea. It could have been gas.

Just now I got diarrhea. Dark times. Dark times. But that's why I want to be good at running, because in that scenario I would have hopped over the fence like a hurdler i hate everything about running every it but it's everything about being good at running is great even yes i feel like you would change the way you would look at the entire world the people you know who like running i used to run a lot i'm so envious they're like yeah just you know after the plane landed i went to the hotel went

out for like a five mile run oh Oh. How long did that take? Oh, maybe an hour. Seeing someone fucking post a marathon picture on Instagram is infuriating to me. Where will you see people who are like even a little bit chubby who do it? And you're like, how does that work? Oh, man. I don't even have an excuse. You know how much I hate a fit, fat dude?

What the fuck are you doing? Lay off, bro. Who are you for? The only thing I'm good at running is a business. The only thing I'm good at running is a business when people say they like running i ran a lot for like two years i did a half marathon and everything and it's every second of it sucked did you never did i have fun you were doing that did you shave no did i oh did i wait did i did i you said did i shave did no did you shit your pants when you're doing the half marathon? No, I almost passed out.

So I got around the bend, and I thought I was at the finish line. I didn't see this bend we had to go around, so I sprinted. But then I ended up sprinting like a half a mile, and then I almost passed out when I crossed. Either way, the whole thing sucked. I never liked any of it. Did your nipples bleed? Yeah.

Yeah, like... I used to chafe like a looted dude. You didn't get the chafe? My bacon rubbed together. I got all kinds of chafe. I just get so bored. Because you're not supposed to run for 13 miles. It is boring, and they wouldn't let us listen to music. to chafe like a looted dude my bacon rubbed together i got all all kinds of chafe by the way like seven pairs because you're not supposed to run for 13 miles it is boring and they wouldn't let us listen to music that's fucked that's crazy even when i've been like why wouldn't they let you listen said it was cheating cheating what that's what fucking yeah was there prize money no they

just said it was charity fun run said it was was cheating. Yeah, it was really stupid. Cheating wasn't music? That's hot horse shit. Hot, hot horse shit. Steaming, steaming, gross horse shit. That's why running sucks. Yeah, I get so bored. Even when I've been in decent shape, like two minutes into running, I'm like. Dude, it's boring as shit.

This fucking sucks. Oh, yeah. In high school, we used to have to run to like, our coach was like, after football games. Oh, God. We'd go to, if we lost, we'd have Saturday morning practice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be like, lactic acid. He just yelled that all the time.

And we have to run for like an hour and a half. That's within your legs. I just, every single step, I was like, this fucking sucks. I fucking don't want to do this. It sucks. I hated it. I was okay during basketball practice growing up when you would have to do suicides, which sucked.

Yeah. It's fast, though. it's fast though it's fast and it has an end point you get a break right like being like going on a treadmill and typing in 25 minutes and then i'm just running for 25 minutes it's so fucking boring is there any other case explain this science how is 25 minutes on a treadmill feel like an eternity and like when you're like give yourself 25 more minutes to sleep, it feels like the shortest amount of time that's ever happened. Or you masturbate and all of a sudden it's been two and a half hours.

Right? Yeah. Well, that's crazy. That's crazy. I am balanced. I mean, even if it's half that. It's not half that. No, I know what you mean.

When that is a marathon session. Sometimes it's a sprint. Jay in it. Jay. Jacking off. Well, sometimes it's a necessity. Like it needs to happen. Well, sometimes it's a walk in the park.

It's a sunny day in Central Park and you're taking your dick for a walk. And you're like, can you see the swans? Sometimes you take a weird turn and you end up under the bridge. Yeah, sure. Sometimes you roll in the hay a little bit. Sure. Sure. How far can we take this metaphor? Sometimes you buy a weird turn and you end up under the bridge. Sometimes you roll in the hay a little bit. How far can we take this metaphor? Sometimes you buy a hot dog. And you really got to shit, but your apartment is.

Two subways, top of the hill. So you shit in a Quiznos and you're like, I didn't even know there still were Quiznos. Yeah, now I got this cookie that I don't want. And then you give the cookie to a homeless person, end up feeling better about yourself. Yeah, they give you a treasure map. And you beat off all over it. The X leads to a guy beating off.

Boom! This was the treasure all along! And then you wake up in the middle. Right in the middle of the Quiznos, you're up. Anyway, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is sponsored by the 700 Club. Are you feeling lost? Sean Jordan, it is time for your first pick.

Okay. So I wish that I was into reading. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Straight up, Sean Jordan doesn't know how to read. I'm just not, and I couldn't be less into it. Is it all reading? Because I can read music books and sports books, and that's it.

Yeah, I can read those. I can use easy. So like Chuck Klosterman, I can read that. I can read any biography, really. I can read like dumb guy things. Dumb, smart guy stuff. We go over what I've read. It's like Chuck Klosterman books, and then like Chuck Klosterman books.

The Giver. I think he's from South Dakota. Oh, no, he's from North Dakota. Is he really? Yeah. Damn. There was a guy I follow on Twitter who had a top 25 books he read in 2017. Fuck off.

And I'm like, what world do you live in? I ain't got a top 25 I've ever read. If they were all the dirt by Motley Crue, then I'm in. The Heroin Diaries, sign me up. I'll read that all day. If Gator wrote a book, I'd read that. Who Gator? Is that just some Gator?

Yeah, he's the skateboarder that killed his wife. Oh, damn. Super bug. I'd read his book. Yeah, don't need to read the book. Solve the documentary. It was fucking awesome. Yeah?

Yeah. It's real good. But yeah, I feel like such a dipshit because I can't... My girlfriend has done this numerous times. She's rented me... Checked me out a book. I say rented a book. That's how much I read.

Yeah, you don't know that it's not Blockbuster. She checked me out a book and I was like, this is a weird looking movie, but I guess I a book. That's how much I read. You don't know that it's not Blockbuster. She checked me out a book and I was like, this is a weird looking movie, but I guess I'll try. But yeah, I had to give it back to her unread. That's the worst feeling in the world. Yeah, I was, so I just saw the movie Network for the first time and like the person who recommended it to me, he was like, you liked it, right?

Here, and he had to be a book about Network. And I'm like like i'll have it back in a week that's the problem i do that too i like i've had my friend miles k friend of the podcast oh yeah i've had my friend miles k's book for literally 15 months and like every three months to like ask me about and i'm like dude I just got through the chapter on Sumeria. It is great. I bragged about reading the book to you a year ago. I'm still reading the same fucking book. If you read a half a page a week, you probably would have finished it by now. No, you know what I do?

You know what I do? I get pissed that I get mad at myself that I don't read it, and then I read 80 pages, and then I put it away for six weeks. Giving someone a book is like giving someone a molly. It can be a cool thing to do, but you gotta know they want it. Yeah, for sure. You gotta know for sure that that's what they're into and they've done it before.

Otherwise they just end up too sweaty in their room. And not just half of it. They've done a whole molly before. So no one reads books in this room. No. I probably read the most. First of all, I know you very well So no one reads books in this room. No. I haven't been. I probably read the most.

First of all, I know you very well. And you are very well read from what I know. I do read. Well, but from what I know, to you, that means six books. I'm a big dummy. But I mean, like. Here's what I read. I probably read six books a year.

I read tattoos on bodies. That's great. That's okay. I think that's great. tattoos on bodies. That's great. That's okay. If that is average for a voracious reader, that is amazing

for this room. You should teach English. I'll read two full books a year. I force myself. I'll read a couple a year, maybe three. You read that Jim Abbott book, right? Yeah, I just read... Jim Abbott, Against All Odds? The only reason I read it is because my girlfriend, they have a a year maybe three book right yeah i just read um jim abbott against all odds that yeah that's

we'd well the only reason i read it is because my girlfriend they have a book fuck they have a fucking book club every christmas and they're like this is our book club because her nephew was just born with um he i don't know what the preferred nomenclature is but he yeah has a deformity on his hand and so we read the book on jim abbott which is fucking fascinating by the way wait how big is that book? Like 300 pages or something. I think I read a kid's version. I got done and I was like, man, I should read more. And then, boy,

I won't for quite some time. Feels great finishing a book. Feels terrible around page 90. When I was exclusively touring, I was tearing through books. Oh, yeah. But now everyone has individual TVs, and that immediately, I was like, yeah, I'll watch Baywatch.

I watched How to Train Your Dragon twice. I'm not even kidding. You know Edge of Tomorrow? Yeah. On the way to Cross Country, I watched it three times. That's amazing. And I had a Smiths book I was really waiting to read, and I'm like, I'll just watch that Groundhog Day movie again.

Super Bruce Marissa, do you read? Are you a reader? No, I see none of us. I want to be, but do I though? See, that's the thing. I want to feel like I'm well read, I guess. But I feel like the pressure. There's pressure on you to feel that way.

It's a leisure hobby. It's a leisurely hobby. That is the least interesting of all the leisurely hobbies. Like I'd rather go play tennis. I'd rather, I'd rather like look at a bike. I'd rather someone

just show me a row of bikes and be like, spot the difference. Just stand there for an hour and be like, there's a little bit of reading in there. That's good advice. Huffy.

Okay, great. That's enough reading for me. It's also like, it's also a leisure activity that you get intellectual credit for. Even if you read The Dirt, people are going to be like, who's a reader? By the way, just a little aside. Read The Dirt if you haven't read The Dirt. And this is for somebody who doesn't read.

That's how gripping and enthralling that book is. Takes you on a journey. It's a fun story. It's a fun story. The Motley Cr boys are uh bad guys bunch of wild bunch of wild boys yeah couple couple deaths in there so yeah yeah all one of them came back to life wow oh nicky six oh wait nicky six died mick mars cannot die god he's a weird looking he looks so dead dead. When they talk about his disease in there,

you're like, okay, I get why you looked different than the rest of them. Why you were just standing there being the surly bass player and everybody else was painted up with makeup, freaking out. What disease does he have? I can't remember. Is it like Jack disease? Is that why he looks so much older?

He has a bone disease, I think. But I can't remember the details. So does Tommy Lee. Methods of mayhem, right above... Yeah. Big old bonesnick disease. Word on the street is he's got a big old hammer. You can see it.

Just Google it. Any street. I'm sorry. He's got a huge dick. He drove a boat with it. I meant dick on the street. When he's standing up. Dick on the street. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When he's standing up. Dick on the street.

Excellent pick. Thank you. Reading. Now it is time for my first pick of things I wish I was interested in. And I don't mean this to seem condescending or anything like that at all to anyone who does currently hold this interest. But I kind of wish I was interested in religion and like being a religious person. I don't think that's kind of setting.

Oh, it's interesting. I, cause I'm so not. And I like, I don't, I like, I'm an atheist,

you know, I'm an, I'm an agnostic atheist where like, I don't believe in God, but like, I also don't think you can prove it necessarily either way. You want to be like, I just think it would be interesting to like

know what it was like to be like that sometimes and not in a bad way yeah but to sincerely believe in a higher power maybe have that peace of mind where you're not freaking out every day like i'm like well we're gonna die and not to not to be like the kind i don't want to be like a by the book christian or anything like that yeah i feel like i'm an optimistic yeah agnostic just because i'm like i went to catholic school so they fucking beat that into your head. So I'm like, whatever. Yeah. But I don't do anything good with my life.

Yeah. At all. Hey, come on. You're raising a kid. You're wrong. That's cool. You got a pair of fives. You got black barn on your shirt.

Don't be like that. Yeah. No, but I do. I do what's fascinating to me about this religion, like wanting to be more into it, is I would genuinely love to be in the head of like a evangelical, like born again Christian for like a day just to hear their thoughts. It's got to be such a powerful drug. Yeah. I mean, it's probably awesome. They have a reason for all this. I know.

Even when they do gully shit with it. Yeah. A lot of them do. But like, yeah. But I mean, I think the Even when they do gully shit with it. Yeah. A lot of them do, but like, yeah. But I mean, I think the powers that be do gully shit. I think most of the people

who are just looking for like a way to get by. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's hard to be happy. Like you can't judge the sons for the sins of the father. Sure. Oh, yeah.

I read that in a book one time. God damn. Why were you staring at me taking your shirt off when you said that? Whoa, whoa. You took that. That was not a half on me. You were lighting candles with an Uzi shirt off when you said that? Whoa, whoa, you took that, that was not a half on me.

You were lighting candles with an Uzi on a cake that said, fuck you, Sean. I didn't need any of that, man. Written out in armor-piercing bullets, man. I don't read books. Yeah, that's true. I don't read books. Shorty can't eat no books. I don't read books.

But it does give you a peace of mind, religion. I think it does. Because my mom's super Catholic, and when I'm when i go on a plane i am popping atavans or xanax oh yeah and when i'm like where how was it she was like oh there was turbulence and i'm like did you freak out and she's like no if i go i go and i'm like uh no it's final you fucking idiot i feel like that and I don't have any God. You're the chillest person I've ever met in my whole life though. And I don't say that.

I've never been like afraid. I don't know. Okay, then I die. Everybody's going to happen to you. When it really starts shaking, you don't get nervous? No, no, not really. My heart's beating faster than it was 10 seconds ago just from hearing you talk like this. Yeah, I don't know.

It doesn't freak me out. I also was recently, that's not what I'm worried about. I don't want to live a shitty life. That's what I'm worried about. Yeah. I'm way more scared of like going to prison for life. Oh,

I thought you were going to say ghosts. I really thought. I'm way more afraid of like ghosts. Which are definitely real. Yeah. I recently watched the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Loved it. Loved it.

But they had this big Jewish support structure, like the rabbi and all these other Jew families. And I'm like, oh, I wish I had that, but I'm never going to be a member of a synagogue probably. It seems amazing. It seems amazing. Curve makes going to the synagogue seem so fun. Right? It does seem good. I think that you could get that.

Because, like, well, you know, we don't know. Your story's not told. That's true. But let's say you settle down with, like, a nice Jewish woman. Yeah. I think a lot of times that is, like, I have friends where, like, their dad's, like, they're like, yeah, my dad doesn't believe in God, but we go to church every weekend because my mom loves it.

Because it's a tradition. Like, so you could, like, yeah, you could get in there and just, then you're a cool dad. Now you could get in there. Then you're cool, Dad. Now you're cool, Dad. Now you're cool, Dad. Oh, yeah. Mom is making him read Torah. Dad's like, let me give you a sip of Manischewitz. Do you know who my favorite rabbi is?

MCA. From the Beastie Boys. Those Friday night dinners seem so fun. They seem great. And then you invite an old Jewish man who's a chemist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you talk to him about chemistry. I was instrumental in the development of a serum,

which allows all of us here today to breathe freely. Judaism is way more interesting than Christianity to me. I crave it. I would love to jump back in at some point. You're already very Jewish. We'd welcome you with open arms. Yeah, my mom's so overbearing that all I need is this Friday night dinner

where I can meet a chemist. Hell yeah. And she's fussing over all your food. You're either never eating enough, but you're always too fat. I can't wait. Maybe that will come back around at some point i don't think yeah i don't think that's i don't i think that's too i talk too jewish to never have friday night dinners that

ship that ship definitely hasn't sailed yeah it's it's firmly docked so that's my first pick both the true just all every i mean speaking of big ones religion is almost as big as business yeah almost as big as business business excuse me now i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna zoom in real real tight i went wide now let's zoom in real tight laser focus i wish i liked the bachelor i wish i was interested in it those are wildly different yeah like sure all of these things are building blocks to who we are as people. This is fucking awesome. So, like, with The Bachelor, I love The Bachelor. You love it, right?

So I kind of understand. I wanted to like The Bachelor. I threw myself into it. I hated it for a while. It was really tough. Yeah. But then this beautiful angel from Miami, Florida, whose occupation was business owner. What's he doing?

Corinne Olympios. Oh, doing? Corinne Olympios. Oh, I know Corinne Olympios. She came into my world and I'm like, I'm going to watch this show every year. Wait, you know The Bachelorette? I know specifically Corinne Olympios because Lauren Greenberg, who we work with, told me about her.

Corinne is the greatest. And she got me and Nate Fernald super into The Bachelor. Okay. And she's amazing. And all she wanted to do, she was like, I will suck your dick if I win. She tried to rape The Bachelor. She's like, is he not getting, are they not S&Ds over there? They're not allowed to have any alone time.

They're not allowed to. I saw Unreal. No, I know. They're not allowed to. She looks crazy. No, I know. They're not allowed to. She looks crazy. She's beautiful, but she looks crazy. Look up Corinne Olympia. I don't know what she's doing, but it looks nice.

Oh, sure. I've run into her twice in LA, once at a restaurant in Malibu, and I saw her and my heart dropped. And I was like, oh my God. I felt like I was in high school seeing this girl, Gina Rose Aveniri, that I had a crush on. Because whenever she would go, I'd get butterflies. And I saw her and my heart fucking sank to my balls. And I was looking at my wife. I'm like, it's Corinne.

And she was like, you should go ask for her picture. I was like, no. And then I saw her at the Grove. And she held the door for me at Starbucks. Whoa. And I was like, Corinne's the nicest person on earth. You're her best friend. I love her.

I have a friend from back in Portland who's one of the bachelorette or one of the girls on The Bachelor this season. Who? Brie, the sports reporter. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So she's Brie who works for NBC Sports Northwest up there. And Maranthas, I think is her last name.

Wow. Wow. Wow. That's great. It does seem like a good community, though. I notice whenever there's Bachelor tweets popping or whatever, I understand wanting to be a part of it because it feels fun. People love it.

It's all the fun people. You like it. Nate likes it. There's all these people who love it who I'm like, those people have good taste. I want to like. What's your hold up? Every time I've started to watch it, it just hasn't clicked for me. That's how I am with transparent.

I can't dig in. I can't. It's too late. Now you don't have to. I'm with you on that. But with The Bachelor, I understand that because it is immensely boring. Yeah. Because you have this boring guy who has nothing interesting about him

that's trying to make people in Wichita, Kansas be like, that's a man. Yeah, yeah. And then you have all these women who are all just different shades of blonde and they don't have anything interesting about them. There was like seven real estate developers. That's not a real job.

Yeah, but is that real? That just means your dad's a real estate developer and he gave you real job. Yeah, but is that real? That just means your dad's a real estate developer and he gave you a job. And he hired you. I'm not, that sounds misogynistic, but like you are not qualified to do what I think that job is. Yeah, I don't even know what that job is

because technically it's business. It's business. It is business. It's an overarching thing, but how I look at it is you like look at a field and go, that could be a Costco. I don't think a 22-year-old girl does that. No.

Yeah, yeah. And then right here, this will be a supporting business of this kind. That'll be our anchor store. So you look at the coffee bean, butting the whole thing up. So it's boring people wanting to hook up, but then when you get to the meat of the episode, everyone is drunk. And then you find out who doesn't realize they're on a television show and who's going back in their head about like their previous relationships because they're treating this relationship 21 women dating one guy as if it's a one-on-one

relationship oh wow so that's where the fights start happening and that's so fun to watch okay maybe i'll have to because i've never gotten into The Meat. You've got to get into The Meat. The first episode is like, this is silly, but then as it goes on, they start hating each other, and it's amazing. I'm a messy bitch who loves drama, and that show is great.

I like soap opera shit, man. I can sit and watch something like that. Maybe we'll have to get into The Bachelor. Love and hip hop, that's my bachelor. I watch fucking Nashville. I mean, I can definitely get in. Have you been watching that?

I love Nashville. Every time I watch Empire, and it ends, they try to force me fucking Nashville. I mean, I can definitely get in. I love Nashville. Every time I watch Empire and it ends, they try to force me to Nashville. They try to force me to Empire when I watch Nashville. What are we, different? Those two shows have been diagrammed in one way. The white Irish kid is watching Nashville over here. I think you would love Empire.

I think you'd hate Nashville hate nashville but i'll watch empire but i do like i like dramatic shit i think it's just got to be bottled yeah it's funny shut your brain off i feel like the bachelor's good for that shut off for a little bit especially like if you're i don't know if you're working thinking like creating all day shut your brain off watch the bachelor that's not what i'm doing but i understand but yeah yeah it's like you could check you could like read emails while it's on and you're not i didn't miss anything i mean that's why i watch a show like nashville's i'm not i'm just sitting there like fucking i don't i don't care about this hour and i'm just looking at twitter i'm on episode eight of mindhunter right now oh i'm fucking mindh mine i think i like the show but i also think i've only watched 40 total

minutes like your free time zoned out it's so easy to zone out i like i zone back in when he's like talking to killers the killer stuff they're amazing and then i zone out with his relationship stuff i just don't care that's how i am with the wire when the adult he comes on i'm like i'm gonna go i don't care genuinely i didn't need to see this guy eat out his girlfriend. No, it happens a lot. That's what they're showing on TV. Yeah. Yeah, he goes down on her a lot.

Oh, yeah. It's not just happening. He's shown her a lot? A lot. It's like his number one move is he eats this bitch out. I'm like, whoa, I've never seen that on TV. He does it enough to the point where you're like, what am I supposed to be reading into this? Here's what you have to know.

Is this a message? Yeah, right, exactly. The FBI guy from Mindhunter, good guy. Pete Holmes on crashing, bad guy. He goes straight to sex. Straight to sex. Yeah. Pete.

Pete. Go downtown for a while. Yeah, go downtown. Go downtown, eat it like a vulture. It's lovely there. They've revamped. Go to Daiso. Yeah, Daiso.

And that's the other thing. Crashing set in 2018, Mindhunter late 70s. So he is just going- Different. Ahead of the curve. Yeah, ahead of the curve. This guy is- Shout out-

He guy wrote books about it. Shout out to that dude in the 70s who was going down first. Going down. And then invented the idea of the serial killers. Sean Jordan, it's time for your second pick. Second pick in the things I wish I was into. I'm going to go ahead and pick vegetables. Oh, yeah.

You don't like vegetables. You do eat some gnarly. And that's from a gnarly boy myself. When I'm at the crib, I eat vegetables. To quote an Ivan Carmel, you are so damn Midwestern. It makes me sick, I believe. Ian's dad, we were talking about kombucha or something, I was like,

I hate kombucha because you're so goddamn Midwestern it makes me sick. And then we were in the car for like two and a half hours. I just fucking hate vegetables, man. I want to like them. I know they're good for me. I just hate, I hate an olive. I hate an onion. Olive? No one considers an olive a vegetable. an onion. Olive? I hate a mushroom.

No one considers an olive a vegetable. Dude, what are you doing? How is that what you want to do first? No, that was your opener. I'm just open. I hate a cup one. That's why I say I fucking hate fish, man. Whales can fuck off.

I was just trying to rip off my least favorite, but I can stomach lettuce on tacos now. I can let that ride. Lettuce is more water than it is food. just saying i don't like vegetables nothing i i just got over my lettuce fear like last year can't stand you do you have veggies no you're kind of out on them too no i eat any vegetable that you can put butter on yeah that's all of them yeah that's all of them so i so that's i So I learned a trick. Okay, yeah.

I'll eat them. I like Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes and stuff like that. Ian will do that, and it's good. You'll grill up some sprouts or cook up some sprouts or whatever, and they're good, but I'd... Cucumber. I would... Yeah, but I still...

This stuff I'd never do on my own. Celery. I hate it. To steal your joke, it's just a reason to eat ranch. It is. For me me you know carrots they taste like

fucking cardboard potatoes potatoes are great I don't consider those a vegetable we should though I mean we should but it's not like

if I just I feel like that's a slippery slope next thing you know potato wedges now french fries are my vegetables oh I just mean

a raw potato. Just bite it. Bite it. Like an apple. Do that again. What? Do that again. You should be a mime.

I believe it. I mean, I made a sound, but I understand. It was tight. The motion was there. What about spinach? Like, spinach was the first. Spinach is what got me on to vegetables. I started putting it up in my eggs, and then you just spinach.

This is where I was going with this draft, is these are all things that if we, I guess if we weren't doing this, and we were at a party or something, and someone's like, oh, I made whatever with spinach, you'd be like, cool, I can't wait. And then I'd get in there, and I'd handle it, but I wouldn't really like it. Just like reading. If someone gives me a book, I'm like, oh, thank you so much.

You're going to have to start eating vegetables. I know. Well, I'm going to have to stop drinking this vegetable. No, you can still drink. You just need some vegetables. I'm going to have to stop drinking distilled vegetables. Why would we have to make it this cruel dichotomy? It doesn't have to be one or the other.

Oh, what, I'm in prison now? Yeah. So wait, is it both raw and cooked vegetables? Cooked. So the palate's developing It's getting there But it's only through trying to be cool What about like pickled vegetables?

I like pickles But I hate Oh, I hate a pickled vegetable Oh, okay Like a pickled beet or something But I love pickles I love pickles But do you, what about like

Fried pickles What about kimchi? Oh I don't whoa okay that's got to be a mental thing it probably is because my mom way dude when i was a kid we and she'll do this to this day kelly jordan we'll be sending like applebees or some shit and i'll order a club sandwich and she'll lean over she's like that's got she'll shake her head she goes that's got onions you don't like onions and i'm like i'm fucking 36 mom i know

yeah for a fact that i'm gonna take them off when they get here i just i don't like onions and i'm like i'm fucking 36 mom i know yeah for a fact that i'm gonna take them off when they get here i just i don't want to put the weight i don't want to be like can i get that with the onions i just like i can take them off yeah you know to be fair that is literally how i eat every burger or sandwich is i remove everything from it and but it's it's been like beat into my head since i was a kid like my mom would do the whole mccabe nod thing like she'd shake her head be like like, oh, you don't like onions. And kind of like furl her brow. And I'm like, fuck onions, I guess.

What'd she do with her brow? Furl? Furl? Furl? Furl. Furl. No L. Oh, I just did it again.

Furl. Oh, brother. Thought it was furl. Wait, did you say furl? Furl. Furl. Like an unfurl of flag. I said like F-U-R-L.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's all right. That's understandable. I like that everyone's trying to keep me calm. We're not making a big deall of flag. I said like F-U-R-L. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all right. That's understandable. I like that everyone's trying to keep me calm. We're not making a big deal out of it. It's furrow. It's furrow, like burrow.

Yeah. See, now I know. Everybody calm the fuck down. All right. Yo, I'm not mad about it. Nobody's mad about that one. Put the knives away. What about a caramelized onion?

That is a great question. No. Do you eat onion rings? Panko? Kind of. I don't like onion rings. I is a great question. No. Do you eat onion rings? Panko? Kind of. I don't like onion rings. I eat the crispy wraps. But I'll eat them because you can get past the onion real quick.

Steamed broccoli. No, I don't like it. Fried cauliflower. Don't like it. Chopping broccoli. Chopping broccoli. Do you like that? I do like that song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Vegetables, man. I want to be into them. That's kind of where I'm taking this. Snap peas. Ooh, peas are a good one. No, when people order out of my, that's one of the worst.

What about green beans? Yeah. So green beans, corn, and peas, just because they can go in like a shepherd's pie. You are so damn Midwestern. I just think of like, oh, somebody forgot to make the rest of the shepherd's pie. So I'll just eat, I'll eat the peas. Like I was freaking out this morning because I couldn't remember the last time i ate anything green dude the shit that it was i i'm like i've been on a brown diet yeah just everything's fried dude i don't remember a day

where i haven't had french fries try going out like zach fucking zach man a friend of the show zach discani he'll every time we're coming home, he's like, what do you, what do you think? Taco belt, Del Taco? And I'm like, yeah, sure. Zach's also got 26 abs. I'm saying that he can do that

and I can't, but yeah. Zach's got those weird side abs. Oblique. Yeah. Those ones, those like weird ones over here. Yeah,

those like, where you're like, are those love handles? No, that's muscle. He looks like a Navy SEAL, like those kind of muscles. Yeah,

fuck him. It's another thing I wish I was into, Zach. Yeah, well, that's another thing. Yeah, do not, do not live with guys of muscles. Yeah, fuck him. It's another thing I wish I was into, Zach. Yeah, well, that's another thing. Yeah, do not, do not live with guys

with muscles. He's got a lot of other problems where you still feel superior to him. Until, so it's like, yeah, until you get

to the beach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's king, he's king of the beach. I went, we went swimming with him the other day and I was like,

get the fuck out of here, man. Where'd we go swimming the other day? Didn't we go swimming at Amy's? Was he not there? I don't know. We went swimming with him the other day, and I was like, get the fuck out of here, man. Where'd we go swimming the other day? Didn't we go swimming at Amy's? Was he not there? I don't know. Where did I see him? That was like six months ago. Maybe I just popped.

Okay, Sean. No, fuck me, bro. You don't know. You're fucking vegetable blind. You don't know where he was. No concept of time. Time. Time.

No, I hate time. Not a big fan. Bay leaves? Not a big fan. I think it's more seasoning than vegetables. Parsley? I don't like parsley. Well, that's not a thing they like. That's not anybody. Nobody eats that.

You never had just a parsley salad? How do you feel about olives? The vegetable we all think of. The number one vegetable on the planet. On the planet. What about green olives when they're stuffed with pimento? It's wild that you don't like black olives. Can't stand them.

You never used to put them on your fingers as a little boy? No. I put bugles on my fingers like a witch when I was a kid. Like a witch? We lived in a chip household, not an olive household. This is a chip house! I don't like olives either. I think it's gross.

The devil's vegetable. Yeah, when they're on the pizza, I'm like, ooh. No. Oh, really? Yeah, I love them too. But olive oil's great. You like olive oil well hold on i feel like we should squash that no no i feel like because then i'm going to get into something that might be oh i wish i liked olive oil yeah yeah i wish i wish i could chug olive oil i wish i love what happens what do you get oils what do you get on

a subway is my question i wish i loved not beating off with olive oil what we'll let the dust settle what do you put on a furl what do you put on a subway on a subway sandwich yeah it's like a caveman like a spicy italian for me is just like oh dude you want to hear something fun so my friend adam and joey they'd go to subway back in the day they'd both get a spicy italian and then they'd get to the end and they'd put their hand over their eyes and they'd go and one jalapeno just have the girl put like one jalapeno and then joey would come up and he'd be he'd go one banana pepper by then she's like full-on laughing we did it like once a week it was fantastic but also you just got straight up Subway, no vegetables?

I do it to this day constantly. The vegetables are where you make your money. I don't. That's why I'm saying, that's why I never really was a fan. Now I'll just get a spicy Italian with banana peppers and jalapenos. I got to figure out a way to get some more veggies in your life. I feel like that's on me. You get them in. You and Laura, man, you're the only reason that I eat vegetables.

You guys cook them. And I'm like, well, shit, if they're cooked and ready. Sean O'Connor, it's time for your second book. Oh, my God. That's so thick. Sorry I took Sean O'Connor, it's time for your second book. That's so thick. Sorry I took so long. We'll pace it up. We'll pace it up.

That's so tough to follow just because I really feel like that will improve your life. Just a hatred for vegetables over here. I guess this is actually something that I don't think I've ever really admitted. I wish I was into rap music. There we go. I was hoping for a breakthrough like that. You're in the right room. I wish I... Is it something that you act like you're into?

Can I say, first of all, your outfit says completely different. Yes, I know. It's crazy. It's weird. Shorts wearing joggers. I like everything about rap music. I genuinely want to be into it. You don't like rap, huh?

But what happened, and I can perfectly almost explain this, is my first CD I ever got was Criss Cross. Totally crossed out. I also had it. Yeah. Loved it. It was great. I missed the bus, all the great songs.

1997, CDs are more popular than ever. Everyone's finding out what their personality is. Yeah. I bought three CDs one day. All my friends were into rap, so I bought three CDs. I bought Dude Ranch by Blink-182. Yes. Okay.

I bought P. Diddy and the Puff Daddy and the Family. Yes. Ooh, but there's only like three. There's three bangers And the rest are slingers There's some There's not though There's like three bangers And a couple hangers

And then like The rest are Whatever And then I bought Dragon from Rough Riders No So So what happened was

You bought the opposite of H2O Yes No that's the problem Yes So what happened is I was listening to it You bought the opposite of H2O? Yes. No, that's the problem. David knows the name. So what happened is I was listening to it. Love the Puff Daddy album. My mom over here takes it away from me. Yeah.

Oh, she takes Puff and the family. So I have Dude Ranch and Drag On. I listen to Dude Ranch. I'm like, this is my personality. And then I listen to Drag On to be like, you know what? I'll get into rap. And I it and to this day i just genuinely can't get into it that was i blame i blame a label gimmick his name was drag on all he did was rap about fire yeah it was a bummer opposite h2o opposite h2o because dmx's album was sold out, and then they were like, oh, he's also a member of

Rough Riders, that nobody beats The Wiz, and they sent me down a lifelong white nationalist music. Man. I'm putting this on Sam Goody. I'm not putting this on you. I'm putting this on Sam Goody. Even if she had just left the Puff Daddy of the Family, that had victory on it. Yeah, yeah.

Victory. That's a mother. Song I'll still listen to. The opposite of H2O was, I've heard that album. It was real bad. It sounds bad just from hearing, just from all the pieces. It sounds like a bad piece. His name was D-R-A-G-O-N.

Dragon. And he just always was talking about fire and dragons. Dragon. And sp and flame. It's like one of those guys, if he wasn't friends with rappers, he would have owned a sword store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like a littler DMX who was already very little. He did have a song called Groundhog Day, which is prescient.

Exactly. And a skit called Shakita. Yeah, Dragon was so bad. But I've tried. And now you can't do it. I like songs here and there. I like that Cardi B song. I like some Kendrick Lamar songs.

But you can't do like a, have you tried like a 2 Chainz? No. That's like a very easy. Are you on Spotify? I'm on Spotify. I wonder if we should pool our resources together and try to make a get Sean O'Connor in a rap playlist. I'm way more likely to listen to that than run. So please, yes.

It's crazy to me that you love sneakers so much. I love sneakers. I love- You're wearing Black Bart as fucking Mars Blackman. Designed by Nipsey Hussle. I've never heard a Nipsey Hussle song. I shot at a store and I was like, this place is great. Black Bart, I need that.

You don't like outcasts, like some deep outcast cuts? I like a few outcast songs. Hey, y'all. Sure. We need to get deeper than that. We need to get under the skin. Let's go deep. Spontaneity go delicious.

That is where I'm at. I follow nearly 150 rappers on Twitter. Everything but music. I think Vince Staples is so funny. Never heard a song. There's so many good Vince Staples songs. Oh, there's so many good Vince Staples songs. This is blowing my mind.

Yeah, I know. Because I would never, as long as I've known, you've always worn cool sneakers. I was always just like, yeah guy must like rap no I want to I want to that's what this is about I've been waiting for someone to be like I'll make you rap to listen to

it's exciting in a way I'm making a playlist right now I feel like creating it you gotta start with victory and then work your way out go back to where he came in three different playlists from the three of us i bet is because i bet you'd get different ones if we're trying to like get you in to rap there'd be a lot of tupac and then minneapolis a lot of tupac and then a lot of rhyme sayers one one thing that i for some reason i like uh both tupac and Biggie's song with Bone Thugs

and Harmony both of their songs it's Bone and Biggie Biggie they're great it's Bone and Biggie Biggie that song is fucking amazing

and I only know that because my friends from high school we would just get super high in cars listening to that song over high cars

armed and dangerous ain't too many can't hang with us you guys think Biggie was here for this yeah straight up we know Angel Dust I know the words

so yeah running and then rap music that's my draft so far David Borey it is time for a back to back pick from you as it is a serpentine back to back my next one back to back is

I've always I've done it on a professional scale but never the nitty gritty that I've wanted to get into illegal gambling that's great illegal specifically I've been to Vegas I've made bets with friends on the Super Bowl

and shit like that but I want to get I want to get in there I get it completely are we talking like sports books and shit like that but i want to get i want to get in there i get i get it completely like you want to be like i want like are we talking like sports books and shit like everything like sports books dice games i had a line on a cockfight in san jose once i had a show i couldn't go card game in the back room kind of thing like yeah okay so you want to deal with like you know like the japanese mafia the italian mafia like you know where it came from is i worked at a casino and

we got shut down by the FBI. But we had all those guys and they were fun. It was fun in there. And it's just like maybe one step. I just want to get. I'll be honest with you. I'm in on this with you. Yeah, it sounds good, right?

It does. It sounds good. I know there's an illegal poker club in Hollywood that my friend plays at. That sounds expensive, though. i don't i don't know i i just know what he does for a living and i'm like that seems like it unless it's in like a weird part of hollywood where it's like yeah this might not be expensive it's not the one i think it's more like just like old Russian dudes. I'm still, I just

want it. I don't know. It seems so cool. I want, because I know that feeling. Have you ever been to the track? I feel so good at the track. And I rarely win, but I feel so good at the track. I want it like, I wanted skis. I want to play dice, but not with

friends at a barbecue. I play dice like in somebody's house. But I want to play dice But not with friends At a barbecue I play dice Like at somebody's house Yeah But I want like A back alley No yeah no I know exactly What you're talking about

Cause there's the energy The energy of those people Who their whole life Is gambling Yeah Like whenever I've done Stand up at a casino Like when you stay up

To like Four or five And like sit at a table Like a blackjack table With like An old dude Who like Lives at a table, like a blackjack table with like an old dude who like lives at the casino. Oh yeah.

I love talking to that guy. Because you're just like, your life is wild. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. It's the most on the grid, off the grid you can be. Yeah. Those people who like won't drink because it will fuck up their gambling. That's what I'm talking about.

The opposite of Vegas. It's like they're marathoners. Those guys don't gamble for like 30 hours. Rounders. Yeah, rounders. I'm trying to round. I want to round. Health nuts, those guys.

Health nuts. But yeah, I remember going to the track with my uncle. My uncle's one of those guys. And he has all these friends, and all these friends were all like old or missing limbs and had all these stories stories i'd be like should he be saying this in front of me and he's like yeah he's like yeah i threw him out the window shaking but now i'm like no one tells me those stories i want those stories again how am i

supposed to learn yeah that's a different level of manhood. It's like a secret. We don't even know how to get to that. They smell like they're smoking cigars, but nothing's lit. It's so exciting. You just put me there. That put me right at the table.

They got those green visors that are see-through. Yeah, man. A lot of Asian people, I assume. Oh, yeah. Yeah, latch on to them. Like when you're at like any casino. Like a pie gal situation. I know how to play pie gal.

Do you? I know how to play double poker. You're already halfway in the game, man. I'm in. I used to help deal it. Like, anyways. I'd be more surprised if this doesn't come true. Have you ever played sick

bow no i got really into sick bow it's like basically this this bubble and you it pops up six die and then you have bet on all the different combinations that it can make like are you going to get three threes and uh two fours and like one five it has every combination they played in macau which is like chinese vegas oh yeah yeah yeah i want to get into bourree which is what nba players play on the plane oh the card game yeah because i'd love to just be able to like throw down some bourree oh i play all the classic games great spades i can do hearts and stuff like that i'm gonna play like some fucking pinochle i want to play pinochle with italians

i would love i want to play fucking the most funchle. I want to play Pinochle with Italians. I want to play fucking The most fun I ever had gambling, though, was at my friend's house. We used to play CeeLo all the time. CeeLo's great. 4-5-6. CeeLo's the best game. That's what that's called? That's all I want to play.

I had like $20 to spend back then, and now I really feel like I could ruin some people. I got a bankroll. I used to gamble at the milk bar. I'll just say it. We used to gamble at the milk bar all the time. We used to shoot funny dice, so we'd play 1-4-24 all night. I submitted to Bridgetown

off of money I won from dice games. I bought food off of money I won from dice. Those were the best times in my life. And we got into it. So then touristy guys would come and we'd break them off. It was the best. I was living high on the hog freshman year of college just because I knew how to play Texas Hold'em.

Yes. And then all these kids, because of the World Series and Rounders, everyone got into it. It's a real skill. And I was just patient. They would all go full tilt the whole time. I'd just be patient and be like, I'll take your money. The slow playing is the best. Oh, in college with all those kids?

It's a skill game. Crack a Red Bull? They say poker's not a game of chance. Poker is a skill game. It's a skill game, 100%. Speaking of Bure, though, Sean Jordan and I sat courtside for a basketball game. Hell yeah. That was a good enough reason to bring that up. Blazers Clippers.

I just wanted to bring that up. Fucking life Clippers. I just wanted to bring that up. Fucking life-changing. Fucking ill, dude. It doesn't. What happens, because I've never sat courtside. Yeah. I never thought that I ever would. There's a place that I see people coming back with popcorn buckets.

What happens there? There's a whole room back there, dude, with all the food you could want. They have sushi. They have shrimp. They have sashimi. They have hot dogs, nachos, everything you can put on all of it they have like chicken cacciatore and shit they have wild shishimi next to a nacho bar literally next to a nacho bar is a chef cutting meat for you similar to like dodger stadium it is but also the drinks are free it's a little it's a little tighter but the

drinks are free the food is all free the alcohol drink everything is free fuck then why doesn't that that's not that much we spent a lot of money on the tickets but like i feel like but you can't i think it's hard to get in there right we ate and drank it is i had to buy them on sea geek uh but like we ate and drank probably a few hundred dollars worth of stuff yeah you gotta you gotta get your money in yeah i probably drank 150150 worth of Jameson at a basketball game. Not like if you bought it at the store, but like $150 worth at a game. No one needed you to clarify that. I don't eat vegetables.

I don't read books. I just don't. It's not like the store. Like you drank $150 at Jameson. Yeah. Sean had five bottles of liquor. Court side. Like a fucking Jeep.

So my seat, it was me, and then it was the end of the Blazers bench. So literally sitting like six inches to my right was like Al-Fariq Aminu, and for a while Shabazz Napier and Moe Harkless. And in the fourth quarter when the game was pretty much wrapped up, Shabazz Napier looks over at me and he's like, so what do you do? And I'm like, I told him, and then I was like, what do you do? He was like,

because I told him I'm a comedy writer and a comedian. He's like, I'm a part-time comedy writer. He laughed, and then he was like, actually, most of us play video games. And then we talked about video games for like five minutes at the end of the fourth quarter. They don't play 2K. They mostly play FIFA and like other games like that.

FIFA's the new shit, though. That's the wave, man. All the basketball players play FIFA, man. Like I got, I know a bunch of young dudes who are on that FIFA. They fucking throw down hard on FIFA. Shout out to Omar. And I told them all about how Corden, because he's English, knows the plays and shit. And they were like, there's plays?

So like. So now they're different on the plays. Yeah, so now I kind of hooked them up with some game. So now shout out to Shabazz and Moe if you're listening to this. You're welcome. It was the tightest thing in the world. Just seeing the players run out right next to us. Right next to us. I met Terry Stotts.

Terry Stotts walked up and knew who I was, the coach of the Blazers. Dude, Nate Tibbetts and I talked about South Dakota a little bit because he's from South Dakota and I went to school with his brother. Why didn't you mention him during your 40-minute South Dakota moment? He did. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Because I'm not done with it.

Nate Tibbetts. All right. I'm done with it. Dame Lillard came over to me. He did. Turned Ian around. Ian and I were talking. Dame grabbed him by the shoulder.

We talked for like three or four minutes. Hold on one second. Sean, do you also love basketball? I love basketball. What the fuck, man? It makes no sense. I am a... You're a hip-hop fan who doesn't like hip-hop.

All I'm missing is hip-hop. It's crazy because you love the culture. I love everything about it. Say it again? But if you saw me driving up, I was listening to a band called The Soft Boys that kind of sounds like a hip hop group.

They are not. They are basically like a post-punk band from London, 1981. That's what my music taste is. The Soft Boys? I need. Charlie Bliss. Yeah, Robin Hitchcock went solo after them they're great

great song called i wanted to show you but i want to listen to rap so hook it up i already started the pot i already started the plug at you there uh david it's time for your third pick oh we're already on the third pick already we'll scoot through we'll scoot through we've been having such a good time the point of the podcast is to go off on tangents you know it's uh baby we still want to get the fix we're doing it listen it's the camaraderie friends hour as well uh okay my third pick construction oh dude fuck yeah you ever see like two dudes talking about construction yeah and you're just like fuck and they're just like they fuck. And they're just like, they're always so like, oh, yeah, I used a 3-8 regular on it. Pounded it out. They're like, 3-8?

Really? 3-8? But isn't that a load-bearing wall? No, no, no. That's the thing. It is sometimes. But then I got the sinkers. Oh, you got the sinkers.

Oh, so you connect those to the trest. Whole different grade, my friend. Whole different grade. We smoothed the whole thing out. We smoothed the whole thing out. We smoothed the whole thing out. You got to be using a white oak on that? Is that a white oak? Actually, I am a pine man.

Okay. That's just because that's how my grandpa used to do it. Oh, I can see a pine. I use a weathered pine. I put some Thompson's water seal on the pine. Oh, so you're buttressing it from the outside with a wrought iron? No, you would think the buttress, I dovetail. Oh, it's a dovetail.

I dovetail joints. Well, that makes perfect situation. Yeah, man. And then we built the whole crib. Oh, you're talking about, because that's a 43 centimeter ditch. No, no. See, you would think that, but in California, the regulations are different. Oh, I didn't even think about that.

I got around a 41 inch trench. God damn. Busting my fucking hump. Well, that's an extra four or five hours. Yeah, four or five fucking days. Jesus Christ. Try it. Holy shit. I feel like you guys are in hours. Yeah, four or five fucking days. Try it. Holy shit.

I feel like you guys are in disinterest. Are you sure you're not already in it? I'm just in the background with a sawzall going nuts. Like, I don't know what's happening. Just turn to Nicole and you're like, Nicole! I'm going to faint. I've hung out around several men I just am not one of them

I've worked in construction I poured concrete with Sharpie one time It was fucking bananas It's so cool dude They're not even cool Whenever I see construction dudes I'm like oh you're like a high functioning man Like I do stuff

I got little fart jokes or whatever. But you know how to like build things to last. Useful in a revolution. Yeah. My dad is a construction man. And he got me a job when I was like 18. And like the job was the easiest. It was like painting with like a paint gun.

Yeah. And I got fired after about an hour. He was just like, get the fuck out of here yeah he like screamed at me going like how do you not know how to do this it's the easiest thing to use he was like this has saved me weeks of work and he's like i was expecting you to have three rooms done in an hour when i was age. Just spots like it was paintballs. Just spots. He was so pissed.

It's the closest I've ever come to fighting my dad. I had a job for one day as a plumber's assistant. Hell yeah. I went in, I worked one day, and I quit immediately. I was like, not for me. I'm going to have to get funny or something. I've even put in work. I did like, so one summer I did condo remodels and maintenance with yeah but i would

just always get in trouble because i would show up hung over and they wouldn't let me do anything cool so they'd be like building something and they'd be like david you got i had a demo a tennis court one time that sounds like hell it was just me was it just all jackhammer shit no it was a sledgehammer oh bummer itmer. It was one of the worst days. What? Yeah. I did demo a tennis court with a sledgehammer. One of the worst days of my entire life.

I also had to, like, they all went to build some shit, and I had to power wash a parking garage. Jesus. Like, at the end of the day, when we turned it off, my hands were, like, I was in the car, and my hands were shaking. It was terrible. They really make you, like, got to work for this work for this shitty shitty opportunity yeah i built some fences that are still standing though oh yeah you told me and some uh yeah oh i tell people what are those plant things where you can grow plants in the oh i built a pergola a pergola i remember hearing you talk about pergola you know it's fun we've built skate parks like i've i've helped build skate parks for

like a month at a time and it's actual where you get up for free by the way and we just go in and work all day and build the skate park and it's super fun when it's really something that you're into like if you're gonna build your own gazebo that you were gonna get married in i think maybe you'd have fun doing it maybe i'm not getting married in a gazebo you're getting married in the water you are too midwestern you're gonna have goddamn steak in your hand you're gonna getting married in a gazebo. You're getting married in the water? I'm getting divorced in a gazebo. You are too, Midwestern. You're going to have goddamn steak in your hand. You're going to get married in a gazebo. Bible in the other hand.

Your goddamn dad's behind you. Still married to your goddamn mom. I'm getting divorced in a gazebo. Yeah, we're getting divorced in a gazebo. That's where it ends. The buck stops here, Janet. It's going to be a goddamn bald eagle right next to the photo of Mount Rushmore that's hanging up because you couldn't afford to go there.

Sean's so calm that it's time for your third pick. My third pick. I want to be, I wish I was more into cars. Yeah. Damn it. Big time. I watch comedians in cars getting coffee and I just am like, it must be so cool to be such a smug asshole to be driving around in like a 1931 rolls royce around echo park yeah i around echo

and when i see that i'm like that's awesome like i wish i cared about a car because it is such a rich dude thing. Yes. That would improve my life. I don't give a shit. I wish I gave a shit about cars, but I don't. It'd be nice to be able to. It's also a poor dude thing, though. It is.

It is. It's not a middle dude thing. It's not a middle dude thing. And maybe I'm too in the middle. You're too middle. We're very in the middle. What are we supposed to get excited about? What about like-

Or like whatever. And it's not like you could buy the parts to make your own car yeah i think that's why poor dudes get excited like oh yeah because they can part out a honda or a yeah a mitsubishi lancer or whatever but like i saw like this cool car like that was on sale in los feliz and was like like a dodge yeah i guess i didn't like here's how much i don't know. I don't know if it looked cool and it looked like it was from the 70s and I was like, oh, if I buy that, that'd be really cool. But then

car dudes would then talk to me about that car. And you'd be like, what's in that thing? And I'm like, oh, the guts. That would get you by. A motor. That would work. you'd be like

what isn't in that thing you know you just gotta go over the top like what a dumb question you'd be able to go over the top the same big numbers 740 oh there it is

so many horsies so does this involve like like fixing being able to fix a car sounds fun to me like being able to like being able to fix giving a fuck

Byron Bowers like loves vintage Porsches I can't I don't know what that life't know i can't change a tire like i would even just settle for that star pattern i can teach you how to do yeah yeah that's actually pretty you can change a tire okay guaranteed we'll do it while we're listening to our new box cd all eyes on me in the background i've worked on like i put a i or my me and my friend Tim put a water pump in my 1990 Mercury Grand Marquis. Yeah, I was balling. And it sucks. I don't like working on, I don't like it.

It's so hard, and you have to move so much shit to get to the one thing. They make it look so romantic. Every time in a TV show when, like, somebody's working on a car, you see them, they're wiping their hands off with a rag, and they're picking up a glass bottle of Coca-Cola and drinking it. Here's what I think. I don't think you want to be good at cars. I think you want badass-looking forearms. Yeah.

Yeah, I do. I think that's what it is. I will say, though, I was showing this YouTuber that I don't like video to my friend. Yeah. And it was his reveal of he's always wanted to get a Lamborghini. That was his goal. And here he is. He's 20, and he finally accomplished that goal.

Finally. Made it through 20 years and finally scored a Lamborghini. He's 20, he's called a YouTube grind. Jesus. And he went to West Coast Customs, and he got it galaxy-ed out. What does that mean? It's basically it looks like the galaxy like

the paint job is like the Milky Way. Okay. I think that sounds are there enough cars that have that that's a term. I guess it's probably very specific to people who should not do it. They shouldn't have money to be able to do it. He

showed the car and I was like he ruined a three hundred thousand dollar car because he looked it looks like uh basically it looks like the vehicle for like a superhero named mr space it looks so fucking dumb but the lamborghini i was like shit i would love to have a lamb a lambo a lambo i would love to drive faster than 80 that's like where i max out yeah but like taking taking off to arizona going like 150 oh dude i will say when you see those supercars like we were we were in hollywood the other night remember sean me, like, we were in Hollywood the other night. Remember, Sean, me and you were in Hollywood the other night? Yeah, yeah. Okay, you just looked at me like a fucking idiot.

Well, I don't know exactly what you're talking about. And there were just all these cool cars driving past. And, like, when you see a Ferrari pull up, you don't even realize. Like, you hear these rappers. You don't, but I hear these rappers. By the way, they call them Rarisaris so that's Lambo and a Rari I'm pulling up in fours and you're like

that's fucking lame and then you see a dude pull up in a four and you're like man that's pretty fucking cool It is pretty cool A red Ferrari is super cool When you see

like a luxury automobile it does kind of be like who's that person? Yeah If I see like a Rolls Royce or a Bentley I always look over

being like is that French Montana? I don't know who he is. Do you say it out loud like that? Is that French Montana? But that would be classic French Montana. DJ Khaled's Rolls Royce pulled into our studio the other day. It was amazing. Was he driving?

It's got Miami plates. I valeted a Bentley once when I was a valet parker. It was incredible so smooth that's my goal I have not accomplished it but I will Sean Jordan, time for your third pick

third pick of things I wish that I were into I'm going to go ahead and pick weed I wish I was into weed because my best friends are into weed. You don't even kind of. I can't do it. You're shaking your head, but you're not into weed either?

I'm with you on this. I wish I had a mental break. So there's a couple things. We've heard. Maybe a different Marissa. What happened? What? We can either confirm nor deny. uh maple syrup it oh maple syrup on maple circle is into uh weed or not it uh it looks so i'm i run really high anxiety most of the time i hide it pretty well but

uh it just looks it calms everyone else down calms everyone else down that i hang out with on an extremely regular basis and i take one hit and i lose my fucking mind it does the same thing to me yeah i i my brain broke one time my friend turned his like mom's attic into a teepee and like wait so basically he turned it in like he bought like all this stuff from native americans and oh he bought really yeah and he turned his like like to turn it into a sweat lodge kind of thing to a sweat lodge and what we would do is just bake it out and then there was one night i i'll never forget it because i've never been able to do peyote when you do that after i we smoked so much pot and the whole point was we were gonna not stop until like we pass out and i how old were you uh 31 18 sounds right i ran down

the stairs of the attic looked in the mirror i was covered in sweat i saw my dad and i've never been able every time i smoked pot since then i've had a panic attack you saw your dad in your face in my face it fucking freaked me out. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I wouldn't smoke weed either. So I've tried. Yeah. And I'll like eat it and then I'll have another huge panic attack. Eating it is bad, yeah.

I'll smoke pot and then like the rap just sounds cooler. Yeah, I'll smoke pot and do everything that I do. All I want to do is get ripped and just go cruise around on my skateboard. Just go take the cruiserboard out, ride around a little bit, listen to music,

be like, this feels fucking great. I've heard having sex... I love getting stoned and walking around. I've heard having sex when you're stoned is just amazing. Adam always tells me that. It's give or take. It's not really. It sucks when you're hammered,

so that's all I have to equate it to. Well, maybe if you didn't drink black velvet. Maybe if I had some money. Which also, we'll get a bottle after this. It's Friday. Yeah, I just wish I was into weed. Steal it from me. It's time for my third pick.

Steal weed from me. I'm never going to steal from my friends ever. I know you're not. I know. I don't want you. With my third pick, I think I wish I was really interested in, and there are physical limitations involved in this in addition to the mental ones. What is it?

Surfing. Ah, damn it. All right. I wish I was into surfing. It seems like a fun group to be a part of. I can body surf. I feel like we're all into surfing. We want to be able to do it.

Yeah, but I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't want to do the leg work. But that's all these things. Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's a lot of hard work. It's also, isn't it hard to get in with the other surfers? Yeah, they're fucking assholes.

They own those waves. Unless it's Andy Wood, Andrew Michon, and Graham Elwood. They're the only ones that are nice. Every other surfer's a dick. It just looks amazing. And like that lifestyle, the surfer life, that I think is my perfect life. You could do that without

surfing. I kind of am. I've kind of lived a skateboard life without skateboarding. That's me. That's been a goal of mine for years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we go to the beach, we're living that surfing life. We're just not actually surfing. Bucket hats.

Yeah. Sun kiss. Footballs. Just playing catch. I take to the water like a fucking sea lion. Liam gets out there way deeper than we do. I take on waves. I'm a fucking...

So you're not even afraid of the waves? Not even a little bit. You said your body hurt the last time we were at the ocean. Well, okay, so we went into the ocean, and I just started letting these huge waves hit me, and I loved it. Have you thought about body surfing? I body surf every now and then.

I can catch a wave with my torso, but... Can you boogie board? No, no, I mean with a boogie board. Oh, with a boogie board? Oh, I guess maybe I should try that should try that do that yeah and then maybe because i think it would be almost cooler as a big dude maybe if you're just a hardcore boogie i think you're right because i can't stand i tried for two hours once to stand up on a paddle board oh humiliating no it's so hard yeah do the boogie board thing but throw yourself into the boogie board thing. Like, really? Be a boogie.

Like, get it airbrushed Rich Homie Carms on the bottom of the boogie board. Personalize. Wow. Personalize, like, swimwear. Yeah. Oh, my God. Look out for me March 15th. If you had, like, a-

Hitting the beaches of LA. If you had, like, one of those kind of, like, shorter- Shorty. The shorty wetsuits, and it's just RHK, and then RHK on the boogie board with the leash, you could do that. RHK, dude. This is a promise I make to you. If you do that for four summers in a row, you will become an LA legend. I think that's fair.

Somebody will start a Twitter account. Let's try to boogie board this summer. Let's be bo a Twitter account. Let's try to boogie board this summer. Who are you talking to? I'm in. I'm hella in. Sean, if you want in. You know what? I do like to boogie. We can listen to Rap the whole way through. The boogie man was found in here.

We might even twist up a blunt. What if we all just actually get into everything we're talking about in the next like six months? That'd be amazing. And then we repodcast and we're all into it. You need boogie boarding in a suit? I'm a boogie boarding rabbi. I want to be the first boogie boarder assigned to Roc Nation.

You would be. What a life. What a life, though. We're about a year away from David being a shark on Shark Tank. I got in on the boogie board. Somehow the only shark without a bankroll, but it still works. Yeah, for some reason, I'm like, I'll give you $500 for 50% of your company. Yeah, man.

I just want to feel like you have a vision. But you're holding the cash. I'll give you this $500. Yeah, I got it right here. Not that make-believe $9 million they're talking about. I'll give you this real $500. You gotta wait for Cuban's check to clear or you want this cold, hard cash?

$500. Touching your skin. Ian, number four? Number four, comic books. Oh. Yeah. That's a good one. I enjoy them.

I had an Eero even when I read a bunch of graphic novels. I read The Sandman and this cool Punisher series and Scalped. I read some cool series, but those dudes who are hella into it. I can't keep up. I can't keep up either. It's so hard to keep up because there's new issues every month. And I watch sports, man. I got one of those.

I can do one of those. I can watch basketball or I can read comics. Back when Meltdown was around and they would give us whatever X amount of money in store credit, which we probably all of us still have. I never spent one of my Meltdown credits. Never. Never. Because I have one of my gifts. I have $900 at Meltdown.

I have so much money in Meltdown money. I think the LA comedy community could buy Meltdown. We're just using the store credit we were given. Because it was like 40 bucks a pop too, wasn't it? It was like a... Because I even remember one point I was like, I'll buy a bunch for my brother for Christmas. And then I just got him a Nike gift card and did it.

Yeah. Also, it's like... This might get me hate from comic book fans. Yeah. It's never as good as they say it is. No, it is not. I remember reading The Watchmen, and The Watchmen on The Watchmen, it's like when i i remember reading the watchman and like the watchman on the watchman it's like

time magazine named it the 67th greatest book of all time i'm like yeah books aren't that great yeah we've established that confirms it is a dubious honor even like the one where like the killing joke like when you read like what it's supposed to be yeah or where the joke was created and everything and like you read it and you're like yeah this is pretty good yeah it doesn't like blow me away maybe it's because those things have been so thoroughly mined for material now that

like when they did come out they were mind blowing and that could be it it's like why like basically like I get that Richard Pryor is very funny. Yes. Oh, yeah. For sure.

Chappelle is my Richard Pryor. So when I saw him, I'm like, yeah, he's just a better version of that. He's talking about stuff I know about. It's a vault. We've talked about this sitting in the living room where we're just like, it kind of bugs me when people say, like, George Carlin's my hero. Is he? Is he your hero, or are you just saying that?

If you're under 40, you're full of shit. You're a liar. You're a liar. Carlin, I get, because Carlin did a lot of, like, wordplay and, like, silly shit like that. But when people like Pryor or Lenny Bruce, especially, when you hear someone, like, in their 30s say, I love Lenny Bruce, fuck you. And even Pryor, is that really funnier than, I want that grape drink?

No. Is that funnier than that? Is that funnier than, hey want that grape drink. No. Is that funnier than that? Is that funnier than, hey, baby, I'm selling weed, nigga, damn. Is that funnier than that? No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. Yeah, I don't get the Carlin.

I do not get the Lenny Bruce is baffling to me. Baffling. I think comedians in the 70s shouldn't have even said that. Lenny Bruce's jokes would be like, so I was walking down in the village the other day, and I saw one of these police officers, and he looks at me and he says, keep moving. That's the whole joke. You know who I like better than Lenny Bruce? Bruce Bruce.

Yeah. And I will defend that point. Bruce Bruce, great. Come at me. One of the rare times a son's funnier than the dad. Well, now we have to stop the show. We can't pick anymore. That's the funniest thing anyone's going to say.

Oh, that's funny. Everybody look up Lenny Bruce and then look up Bruce Bruce. Oh, my God. And then everyone let Bruce Bruce hit it. Also, then everyone let bruce bruce come through and do the pod man i opened for bruce bruce five or six times are you serious every time he came through helium i hung out with great he was right and he's so nice skeet he rolled through a skeet and jimmy his two boys and like the last time like they were rolling through with like they had a uh what is that thing where you can like port video games like a emulator and yeah they were just like in the back playing like fucking contra and shit

they were dope see that's great i love bruce bruce yeah me too uh so comic books i wish i were more into them more it seems like a huge rich world that people really like i'm just not sean it's time for your fourth pick so here's my fourth pick and it's going to be i don't know if this is well we'll just we'll do it like this it's going to be classic movies i wish i was into classic you know like those movies that everybody says high no that's no like philadelphia no the third man juice like casablanca yeah like Casablanca Chinatown not the Godfather no like Turner Classic

movie 100 greatest films like 30s 40s Sunset Boulevard stuff like that they're boring and no one

knows how to act I saw it the other day that was pretty cool some of them are good

and some of them are like listen to me oh Sunset Boulevard I did see Sunset Boulevard. Sunset Boulevard's great. Pretty good. Is it good? It wasn't me. It was the pictures that got small.

Yeah, it's pretty great. I would be okay with seeing Sunset Boulevard. I'm not saying they're not. I'm just saying I wish I was into it. The lady in Sunset Boulevard is fucking great. She does it great. So good at it. I will say those good movies, there are amazing moments in them and then some of the stuff in between, it doesn't capture you quite as much but some of these movies are the apartment

have you seen that the apartment's amazing oh that movie is fucking fantastic awesome yeah that's like that's as things are getting like normal yes that's where normalized because like some movies like from the 30s it's just like all right so here. We're at war, but here's a 30-minute concert. And you're like, what? Like, what happened to the movie? Like all those old Elvis movies, I think, are crappy. Well, I guess what I want to say, I wish that I was giving these movies a chance

because I've never even given most of these movies a chance. We have a lot of them at home. I know. The apartment is in our crib right now. I know. It's sitting right at the TV. The Third Man is my favorite movie ever. Sorry, I don't mean to cut you off.

Oh, no, but I just, I don't give them a chance. That's what I'm saying. In this particular pick, I wish I gave them a chance. Not like Weed, where I've given it a chance and I can't do it. I need to give these movies a chance. That's what I wish I did. Or you could watch Straight Outta Compton again. Or I fucking couldn't.

I've seen it like seven times. I know. And I put myself to sleep to it all the time. I understand what you're saying here. I'd rather watch Bad Boys than The Maltese Falcon. Oh, Constancy, The Godfathers. Or Goodfellas, or The Sopranos until this past month and a half. Are you serious?

I watched The Sopranos this last month and a half. I watched The Sopranos, all The Godfathers, Goodfellas, everything related. A casino. What a good month. It's a good thing I got my back to the wall over here. It was amazing to the point where there was one day where I watched Raging Bull and Mean Streets. And then I watched Nightcrawler, the Jake Gyllenhaal movie that everyone liked. And I was like, that movie fucking sucks.

And then I realized this because I just watched Raging Bull and Mean Streets. And I'm like, those are like, they were incredible. Also, I don't really like The Godfather that much. I like Godfather Part 2 a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't like the first one? It's a pretty common opinion. It was good, but I just, I thought it was poorly directed, which was crazy.

I was not expecting to have that. And then Diane Keaton didn't feel like her character kind of sucked. Her character would never, like a woman, even in those times, it would be like, is she really going to get back with him after all this in one conversation? And to me, The Sopranos is the number one piece of pop culture I've ever considered. Well, you love people breathing loud while they eat. Oh, my God.

That's your favorite thing, right? It was like being at every restaurant I grew up near. Do me a favor, pass me a... Yeah, I like people eating through heart attacks. You having a heart attack? No, I'm not. I'm having another burger. God, the way they just...

Tony, he eats so loud. He eats like a fucking lion. He's probably a cool character choice. The way he eats meat is crazy. Yeah. Like an animal. Yeah. Like a tiger would fucking eat it where you hear it.

So classic movies, great pick. Sean O'Connor, it's time for your fourth pick. I guess I really wish I was into, this is, yeah, Photoshop. I wish I want to get into Photoshop. That's a great pick. That's a great pick, yeah, Photoshop. I wish I want to get into Photoshop. That's a good pick, man. Fuck. I like everything I see from Photoshop.

Like when people Photoshop someone's head on someone else's body, I laugh. Oh, God. I wish I could do that. It's a fun comedy skill now. And then I try to do it, and it's like taxing and boring, and I fucking hate it. I want to be into Photoshop. Now Photoshop is getting scary. But there was a pocket.

There was like a nice pocket where it was like, where it's like, oh, look, it's like me. And it looks like I'm hanging out. Oh, yeah, like that. I made that a Shane Torres. Yeah, that's fun. Here's MLK wearing a do-rag. That's like fun.

It's so good. I'm not even asking for like this. I want to do that. But now they can make it. It looks like MLK really wore a do-rag. It looks like he's wearing a yellow do-rag. That's like fun. I'm not even asking for like this. I want to do that. It looks like MLK really wore a do-rag. It looks like he's wearing a yellow do-rag. This looks like Shane was lifting weights as a woman. They could make it look like I was blowing Derek Jeter and I'd be like,

I don't remember blowing Derek Jeter, but that picture is convincing. Maybe I did. I took a Photoshop class in like 11th grade, but it was so early that you couldn't do anything. I didn't know how to do anything cool. Yeah, hard-pressed.

They also taught us Flash in that same class. We didn't have the internet when I was in 11th grade, so whatever. You didn't have the internet. Yeah, South Dakota. South Dakota didn't have the internet until 2011. We had the internet when you were a little baby. Running Water, Bob Barker, January Jones. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's Photoshop. It's great. That's definitely a good one. I would love to do it. That's like a current one. But I can't get into it. Boyd, it's time for your fourth and final picks. Okay.

My fourth pick, another very broad brush, but every time i hear an adult talk about this i think that they are so much better than me science oh yes oh yeah i just whenever i hear like will you ever hear somebody say tell you some shit that just happened in science yeah you're like yo this dude's a genius yeah exactly yeah it's so good. When people were talking about just even the super blue blood moon. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And it was like a news anchor. It was paid to dumb it down.

I hate it when they grasp it because it's like, I always grew up thinking that science was collectively something that we were all lying about except for like six of us yeah i was like oh yeah we all mitochondria right yeah i get that yeah and then come to find out people have working knowledges of science even people who don't work in science yeah i don't i don't get it i don't know enough about science to to know what i don't know well it makes me feel so stupid because the only reason i think that the stars aren't just holes poked in the sky is because so many people have told me that. I don't fucking know.

It could be anything. I have no idea. Well, there's that thing that Neil deGrasse Tyson said, or I think many people have said it, where it's like, oh, yeah, there's billions of universes and every universe has billions of planets. And then I was like, if that's the case, why can't every Mormon get their own planet? Yeah, maybe religion is true. It kind of sings up. Science and religion are both so outrageous that you're like,

yeah, they're both true. I just combined the two craziest things I've ever heard. I do hate how science people are always like, we're so smart. Because here's the thing, at the end of the day, science is continually debunked. Yeah. It's like white dudes, they were never right first.

Right? I am, especially when I talk about it. When I think about it, white dudes are always like, they're like, man, you got to hit your women and not talk to black people. Turns out that was wrong. They just keep taking L's originally. And science, it was always wrong. It was always wrong.

There's dudes who thought bloodletting was right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like 100 years later, we're like, no, that was always wrong. It was always wrong. There's dudes who thought bloodletting was right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like 100 years later, we're like, no, that was fucking stupid. Yo, bloodletting still seems like it could make sense sometimes. Yeah, yeah. There's still people, to me, to my rudimentary understanding. To me, too. I understand.

Get that dad's butt out. Bloodlet me tomorrow. Yeah, shake it out of there. There's still people today who think the world, the earth is flat. A lot of people. Some of them are amazing point guards. And really shitty rappers. I do know B.O.B. is a

shitty rapper. That's fair. 100% right. It's Kyrie, right? Kyrie Irving. But he can ollie on a skateboard. I wouldn't think anybody with that physical prowess. He can ollie on a skateboard right off the earth. Right off the earth. Sean thinks Kyrie Irving is the most attractive man in the NBA. He is. Dwayne Wade is handsomer than Kyrie Irving. Chris Paul is handsomer than Kyrie Irving is the most attractive man in the NBA.

He is. Dwyane Wade is handsomer than Kyrie Irving. No. I don't think so. Chris Paul is handsomer than Kyrie Irving. Here you go. Chris Paul is great looking. Thank you.

Don't say anything. I think Chris Paul is ugly. What? You heard me. I think you heard me loud and clear. That doesn't make any sense. It's crazy, right? It doesn't make any sense.

He's not ugly. He's beautiful. No, he's not, man. I think Ben Simmons is better looking than Kyrie. Kuzma's pretty handsome. Kuzma's good looking. Yeah, he's not, man. I think Ben Simmons is better looking than Kyrie. Kuzma's pretty handsome. Kuzma's good looking. Yeah, Kuzma. Well, also, I think Ingram is kind of a fun-looking dude.

Kind of a good-looking dude. I mean, Steph Curry's straight-up pretty. He's cute. Yeah, he's a pretty boy. We were just talking about this. He's cute. Everybody, yeah. Now that his beard's come...

He doesn't have that wispy spider crawling out of his face. You're insane with his Chris Paul opinion. I don't think he with his Chris Paul opinion. I don't think he's seen Chris Paul in the wild. He's not attractive to me. That's so stupid. The point of him being in commercials is he's photogenic enough to be there. Oh, him and the beautiful Blake Griffin.

Blake Griffin is funny. He's the funny guy. Yeah, he's funny. I was just trying to pull the heat off of me. He's running point, though. Like, he's the State Farm guy. Beautiful smile. I just don't think he's that attractive.

What do you do? He's so handsome, they had him play his own twin in a commercial. Because they couldn't find another man that handsome. You know how hard that is? Even with me, they just get you to sell Bob. You're not going to change my mind. Yeah, Kyrie's so ugly, they made him older. Yeah, Uncle Drew.

They gave him a six-hour makeup experiment. Your faith could never do it. We might as well get you on the back end. Chris Paul's butt ugly, man. We can all agree, though, Greg Oden was the handsomest man ever played basketball. Yeah, best looking person ever. Also, I'm closing it out

because I don't want to hear any more of Sean's bullshit. Fuck you, dude. Are we going to do it? Is that you or the whiskey talking? What whiskey? It's apple juice. Keep going. I like it.

My last pick, also another. Mine is all, I feel like when you read all mine at the same, it wants to just come in. You're just taking all the college courses, business, science. Yours are like, if you learn these, you'll be a mogul for sure. And not like an entertainment mogul, like a real world mogul. That's where I'm going. My last one, how the body works. Oh, sure.

Like when people are always like, oh, if you do this, then it is. You got to eat these acai berries because it deoxidifies. I don't know what any of that is. Can I put you on some game? Acai. Okay, see? Yeah. Step one.

You really don't know much about science because how the body works is in that. That's not the science I meant. I meant Earth science. I meant Earth science. I meant Earth space science. I meant Earth space science. This is biology I don't understand. This is my own level.

Oh, it's fun. I'll do something else. No, no, no. You'll have good things on this. I'd like to be called Earth on this i'd like to be called earth science i'd like to be called earth yeah i don't know how it i don't know how any everybody people seem so sure about stuff sure eat that before noon and your metabolism jumps i don't know what you're talking about why yeah i know i should eat salmon but i don't know why

i don't know why omega fatty acids but what does. Omega fatty acids? But what does that mean? I thought fatty ass was bad. Fatty ass is bad. Fatty acids are good. I don't know why a skeleton keeps growing. I don't know what function it serves. That shit fucks me up. You think about this. I don't know how I got this tall. And I'm not even tall.

You must be freaking the fuck out. I don't know why the fuck I'm up here. I don't know what I'm meant to see. It just keeps growing and then it stops growing for like 60 years. And then it goes down. And then it goes down.

And your hair keeps growing the whole time. Yeah, your hair keeps growing. Your nails keep growing. I have broken my legs so many times and I always think like, what do I put in my body that makes my bone fuse back together? Because I know what I put in my body.

No, it ain't books that go into my eyes. It ain't vegetables in my body. It's like whiskey and burritos. I guess it's whatever Del Taco sells. And that makes new bone. And that's astonishing to me. That's why it keeps breaking. It's because you got these Del Taco bones.

I thought you were wondering why it kept breaking rather than why it was. How does it keep growing back together? Yeah. My body's like, I guess he's giving us more Del Taco. Like if you're giving a bunch of wet cement that's always wet to build a sidewalk. And they're like, well, I mean, yeah, you can walk out of it for like a day, but then it's going to be wet cement. It's like a blanket that's just full of Taco Bell garbage instead of goose down.

That's why it's like, I ain't cold at night. I don't know why. It'll still keep you warm for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. How the body works.

That's great. It is. Sean O'Connor, time for your final pick. Maybe it is one of the sciences. My final pick of something I wish I could get into is, you know what? I'm going to say it. I wish I could get into, like, I haven't tried, but I want to be confident enough to try, like, weird sex fetishes.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't be shy about that. It's just so strange. No, it's just I don't even know where to begin because like i i'm i think i'm just so meat and potatoes uh irish catholic that like when i ever i've even clicked on stuff i'm like yeah i don't know even there's a porn i don't want to watch that yeah exactly i i i mean like i've done i've got i've done anal before that's probably the farthest i've gone but Oh, I've eaten ass.

Oh, yeah, I eat that ass. I wish everybody could have seen that hand motion. Yeah, I want that to become a good ass. I eat that ass. He did that Pepsi commercial hand motion from the mid-90s. Yeah, yeah. But anytime a woman has been

and she's like, what's one of your fantasies? I'm like like we have sex That's the fantasy I don't know I feel like I'm too boring Do I need to lie to you and be like Hit me with a book No what am I supposed to say

Not that I'm like I don't know You wear high heels Is that enough I don't care. You wear high heels. Yeah. Is that enough? Yeah. Is that enough? Is that enough?

Here's the thing with me. You can also wear a t-shirt I have at my house. You can also wear sweatpants. It's still pretty cool. Yeah. Like, I don't, I bruise easily, so I don't think I'm going to like violence. Leave that out of the conversation. Yeah. Have you ever been with someone who wanted you to like choke them or hit them or anything like that?

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not married, so all this is hypothetical. Sure, sure, sure. During many of my brief marriages, I've been with a woman who wanted me to hit her in the face, like open hand slap her in the face, and I'm like, you're so little, and I'm so big. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I can't do that. I'm so big. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I can't do that. I don't know what the right speed is.

If your roommate walks in, there's no turning back from this. What am I going to do? I'm going to come. Your roommate's going to come in. I'm in there choking her. There's never a reason. And then I'm like, oh, we were having fun. She liked it.

And 40% is her coming, and 45% is assault. Don't walk in the living room. I don't have the lockpick touch. I can't... I've never just walked into one of my friend's rooms, by the way, ever in my life. I have, and he was jerking off to just a picture of a butt.

It was the weirdest... Get the fuck out of my house. The weirdest thing. A picture, not a video. On a phone? Not a video. No, on his laptop, basically. So on the internet. What he did is he, when we talked about it,

because you have to talk about it after that, because you would make fun of him so much about it, he'll explain it. He found a picture of a butt that he really liked, so he downloaded it. Marissa? I was like, Marissa's life is fun. And then it became his go-to if the Wi-Fi was acting wonky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would jerk off to a butt. Was it just there was no leg? It was just straight up butt. It was non-gender specific. Just a nice, nice butt. It was very progressive. A floating butt. It was just likegender specific. Just a nice, nice butt. It was very progressive. A floating butt.

It was just like a plump butt. Could have been his own butt. Wow, that made me laugh. That might have been the hardest I've heard you laugh definitely on this show. Yeah. That immediate like, you did one of those. That rules. That really rules.

Just a butt. J and O to a butt. All right. Sean Jordan, it J and O to a butt. All right. Sean Jordan, it is time for your final pick. Last pick is going to be vidya games. I wish I was a little more into vidya games. Me too. I feel like we have a lot in common.

Man, most of your thing is things I'm into. Because we're chilling all the time. Yeah. The same way that you want to skate, it's like the same way that I want to fucking. I fucking wish. You know. I can't even pick way that you want to skate, it's like the same way that I want to fucking. I fucking wish. You know? I can't even pick skating because I want to do it so much. I wish I could just.

I don't want to skate. I don't want to take from your culture like that. I just want like a real tight kickflip. Just off a curb. Just off a curb. Just like when I see kids do it like, oh, God, it's been a long time. Let me just. Let me try.

It's the best feeling. One of the best feelings in the world is just flicking a board. You feel it catch with your back foot, and you land on the bolts, and you're just like, holy shit, I just did. Because when an old person sees you do that, they're like, how do you make it flip? And you're like, you just do, and you just do. Anyway, vidya games.

Wait, when you say an old person. Me, 20 years ago. I would have called me an old person when I started skating. What games do you think you'd want to play? 2K, for sure. I mean, any basketball game. It fucks me up that I'm not good at 2K. I could learn you all how to do it.

It's one of the easier games to get into. It's really easy, yeah. I guess just the culture and just being good at it, too. But any football game. Because when I was at Madden 94, that was my shit. Madden hasn't changed. The graphics are better. It's pretty much the same game. It's literally the at Madden 94, that was my shit. Madden hasn't changed. The graphics are better. It's pretty much the same game.

It's literally the same playbook. Yeah, it is. I was just at home playing. And I haven't played Madden in probably four or five years. I was just at home playing with my buddy. Can I still be Lawrence Taylor in a 3-4? And I got in that ass. What are you talking about?

You go get him. I want to be Lawrence Taylor in a 3-4. Giants classics. I wish I was better at first person shooters. I can't do it. I always start looking at corners. My eyes are blurry. It's too much.

I think if VR really takes off and you can position yourself like that, I'll be better at it. But when I'm controlling, I'm always looking at a corner. One thing I've learned is it's never too late because Ivan Carmel loves first person shooters. He plays them online. He plays the teens. He loves it. Oh, really? I bet he's just like, I'm a lawyer.

He's smoking them. Yeah, I own a home. I'm not a cuck. I'm not a cuck. You're a cuck. I have real guns. So yeah, playing video games. Great. I just think it'd be fun. It's time for my final pick.

Let's hear it. I'm going to take something I really wish I earnestly loved. And it's something I kind of like, but I can never bring myself to do it. Zach? Zach Toscana. Hiking. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I do kind of enjoy a hike. I do kind of enjoy a hike. i love having hiked sure yeah which i know i've done stand but i honestly love having hiked i love afterwards of me and like went on a hike earlier you feel good about that you feel good your legs feel good but like while i'm doing it i'm like out of breath and sweaty and what there's two good views yeah i don't know it's swamp nuts yeah i like the reward of a hike i do like the While I'm doing it, I'm out of breath and sweaty. And what? There's two good views? Yeah. I don't know. And swamp nuts. Yeah.

I like the reward of a hike. I do like the Multnomah. You get to the falls or whatever, and you look down. I'd be more brusky. Right. May they rest in peace. I would rather take a longer flat walk. I would rather just get stoned.

I love a city walk. I love a city walk. A city walk I love. Like New York. When you go to New York, and you got like you're just like i'll just walk to the meeting and then you just like that i would take that there was a time i had to drop off like a flash drive to like this weird building midtown i walked like 80 blocks like and i was like that was nothing this was fun yeah i'll do that it's just sitting the whole way i

hate nature that's my problem with hiking well i'm a health nut i walk to and from work these days because I'm a real health nut. I was in New York last week, and we would get done at a party or at a show, and I'd look at Google Maps, and it'd be like 2.3 miles to your hotel. I'm like, I'm definitely walking that. And then you're walking through fucking New York City. Because it's an interesting-ass walk. Yeah. And I'm drunk.

You're not drunk on hikes a lot. Walking drunk in New York. Powerful feeling. I was singing out loud in the streets of New York. I remember when I first, this is so embarrassing, when I first moved to San Francisco, I was walking drunk. And I had never lived in a major city before, so I didn't know that feeling of how good it feels to just be walking,

drunk and young and taking control of it. And I walked past this couple i'm over here moving like yeah i just said i said the city is alive today i don't think there's one thing to be embarrassed about they're telling a wildly different story about my friend andrew right used to when we would leave bars at 4 a.m., he would always go up to couples making out or just two people making out. And he'd just scream, I love New York! That's the best. That is the best walking.

That is the best walking. Hiking. Very seldom happens in New York. So excellent, excellent picks picks that finishes it up David Bohr you let off and you went business illegal gambling construction earth and space sciences and how the body works

basically the first three would get you into any mafia then you become their weird science guy then I curve it and I go out I say guys I found the way. You're the first guy to take mafia into outer space. Business, construction, and gambling.

Are you fucking kidding me? That's good, fellas. I want to know what I want to know. Sean O'Connor, you went second. You took running, rap music, cars, Photoshop, and weird sex fetishes. Solid. Hell yeah. Sean Jordan, you took reading, cars, Photoshop, and weird sex fetishes. Solid. Hell yeah.

Sean Jordan, you took reading, vegetables, weed, classic movies, and video games. You said reading so disrespectful. That's why I wanted to be into it. Because I look like a badass. Which is, that's my weekend, is that list right there. And then I went last and I took religion, the bachelor, surfing, comic books, and hiking. It sounds so tight when you say them all together like that. That's my favorite part of this whole show.

I mean, we left everything on the board, everything else in the world. Everything else to do. Bird watching. Cooking, cooking. Sushi was one. I'm into cooking. I love cooking I know you are

queen culture oh I made a marinara I made the passed down through my family oh no way now that you're into

Italian stuff I gotta get you some oh it's good dude oh yeah bottle it up I just moved to Glendale too oh you live in Glendale oh you gotta come over

to the crib I just moved there we're in the Dale holding it down for years oh dog I live in the Pacific Edison region I down for years. Oh, dog. I live in the Pacific Edison region. I don't know what that is. I work at the Americana, basically.

Oh, really? Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. So we love fun stuff on the board, but there it is. Wine would have been one of mine. Tools was another one.

Somebody kind of took that. Wine's great. Love wine. Yeah. So there it is. That was super fun. There you have it. That was so much fun.

Make sure you on Twitter send us your list. love seeing those hell yeah we sincerely do uh do we have any shout outs thing don't you have somebody sent us a very nice message yes we should send a shout out to and i'll keep talking in the meantime uh shout out to everyone on the afv subreddit be nice yeah last yeah come on be nice on the afv subreddit because some of our angry f-bombs no some of our guests go and read that stuff, and then I got to hear back like, oh, the subreddit didn't like it. Listen, we're all about good vibes. It couldn't be gooder vibes.

I don't read a lot of books, so I say gooder vibes. I mean, speak your truth. Listen, we're all about speaking your truth, too, but you know. Yeah, it's weller vibes. Yeah, well. Say shit on there like say shit on there like zack's if you're gonna say an f-bomb say zack's a fucking psycho things like that that kind of thing uh real quick shout out to brian breezy he sent a very nice email yes um

just he's been going through a bit of a patch so you know good juju your way playboy would be all right and uh yeah it makes it makes our day if this can if this helps with anything that anyone's going through that's fantastic i listened to atmosphere for a month straight when my dad died and i tore my knee so whatever it takes if this is any part of it that's absolutely amazing i'm gonna throw out just a couple of random shout outs too just from people who sent me messages uh vicente alavaz shout out to you dude i hope i'm getting that right uh who else has messaged me uh oh fucking uh luis etore shout out to you dude fucking uh and then uh a third one as well little uzi vert shout out to cory whatever suggesting a sneaker draft which it'd be interesting yeah which i'm fucking into oh we were talking about that at the basketball A little Uzi Vert? Shout out to Corey whatever, suggesting a sneaker draft, which...

It'd be interesting. Yeah. I think it works. Which I'm fucking into. Oh, we were talking about that at the basketball game. Yeah, it'd be interesting. Well, it was hard to hear because we were courtside, so all we could hear were layups and dunks and players talking shit and sweat hitting the floor and stuff.

Sweat hitting the floor, dude. Prayers. I'm going to say shout out to Max Ratner. We met on a plane coming back to America, and now he's an AFV fan. That's so dope. Oh, look at this. Oh, shout out to the people at the basketball game who took pictures with us. Holy shit, dude.

That was crazy. There's nothing crazier than when you're courtside and Ian comes over, he's like, hey, there's some people that want to take a photo. I was like, get the fuck out of here. We're courtside. Did we shout out the lady we met at the Roost? Oh, shout out to her. Oh, yeah.

Was it? I can't remember. Wait, hold on. I got Instagram right now. I want to say Portia and John, I want to say. Yeah, yeah. Was it? I can't remember. Wait, hold on. I got Instagram right now. I want to say Portia and John. I want to say. Yeah, I think it was Portia and John. They were so cool.

Yeah, they recognized David's voice when we were drinking. They recognized both of us. Don't be an asshole. Could I give a shout out? Yes. Of course. Shout out to my boy Julian Assange. I love you.

Stay safe. Stay safe. Yes, shout out to Julian Assange. Y'all the best. Make sure and recommend us to friends. Like us, subscribe, please. Keep listening. We love you so much.

Thank you for letting us do this. We really appreciate it. Best thing in the world. And make sure you tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Sha-clack-a-dee! that was a hate gun podcast