All Fantasy Everything - Trucks (w/ River Butcher)

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

Hell yeah, (gender-neutral) brother.Guest:River Butcher (@rivbutcher)Support the show!Join the AFE Patreon at patreon.com/allfantasy for ad-free episodes, mailbags, auction drafts, and other exclusive content.Watch the video podcast at youtube.com/@AllFantasyEverything.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian KarmelSean JordanDavid GborieIsaac K. LeeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. and everything from the world of popular culture. On today's episode, we're drafting trucks. Yeah. Our guest today is returning. It's been way too long. It's been way too long. Our friend...

It was sports movies and then... What was the other one? Things we miss. Things we miss from the before times. Yeah, from the before times. That's right. There was like a month in or something. We were all like...

Yeah. That's right. I remember I drafted stand-up comedy like in the fourth round. Yeah. You guys were like, Oh, we all were like, what?

Just started cutting. That's how brutal. It was Kermit all of a sudden. I didn't miss it. It never came back. You know, it's not. It never came back.

It never came back. River Butchers here. Glad to be here, boys. What's the hat? I'm so glad you asked. Walk us through this because I love it. I'll walk you through this. So it is a minor league hat, David.

Yes, correct. And it is a minor league hat from Akron, Ohio. Okay. The team is. Now, they used to be the Akron-Canton previous name for Cleveland. Okay, okay, okay. And then they moved up to Akron out of Canton. And when they moved, they changed the name to the Akron arrows, A-E-R-O-S, because we're like aeronautical there.

We also had a woman in the space program, Judith A. Resnick, who died in the Challenger explosion. And when, so it was kind of for that. But I'm telling you all this about this hat, A, because I'm neurodivert. and B, because that team's mascot was a cat named Kaboom. Wait, shut out. And they were partially named in honor of Judith A. Resnick who died in the Challenger explosion. And they named it the Kaboos? And they named this, the Kaboom, like the mascot was Kaboom because it was like a rocket.

It was exploded. And then like, two years later, they were like, whoops. But they made the merch. They made the merch. I used to have a shirt. The cat has been renamed to the second tower. And so they changed the name from arrows to rubber ducks. Okay.

Because we have this history. You know, Akron's main industry that's completely dead now was tires and rubber. Of course I knew that. Of course you do that. So now, you know, minor league teams are making all these sick alternates. Yeah, they're going crazy. They're going crazy. It's great.

And this alternate is the Akron cheese salads. Come on. Because we have this restaurant called Luigi's. Shout out to Luigi's. And it is just like a Midwestern Italian restaurant. Yeah. And it's also like two steps above fast food. You know what I mean?

Like it's a sit down restaurant. You sit, stand in line. You're not in your car, so it's good for you. Yeah, yeah. And I mean... It's like a Fazoli. Yeah. It's better than Fazoles.

Whoa, whoa. Oh, whoa. It's not like, it's a parlor. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's three steps above fast food. but you're not like, it's not fine dining. You know what I mean?

Okay. Bukita Bepo? Like a Bucca de Bepo? No, because there's only one. And Bougu de Bepo's a little, not soulless, but like this. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Are you getting table service here? Yes.

Or is it order at the counter and bring it to your own table service. Yes. But they are wearing black pants and a red polo. And most of the waitresses are at least 65 years old. Okay, that's great. So it's kind of that vibe. You know what I mean. But so anyway, you get this salad and the contents of this salad.

That's what I was going to say with a cheese salad. In a tiny wood bowl. that looks like the parquet floor at Boston Garden. Give it to me. You're painting a picture. Dude, it's what I do, man. It's what I do. It has like five little chips of iceberg lettuce in there.

Yeah, don't give me too much. I mean, crazy. Whoa. Careful now. Careful now. Careful now. And then you've got, you've got a couple of little sliced black olives. You've got a couple little slices of radishes.

Okay. And then you've got about a half a block of mottes. Corrella cheese. Oh, yeah. It's white cheese. And it's about, the strings are about that long. So, like, I don't know, like, at least more than a quarter pound of cheese on that thing. Do you dress it?

Put a bunch of Diet Coke on it. Oh, Ian, I'm getting there. Oh, I'm getting there, babe. Guess what the dressing is? The dressing is something we call whirl. It's a sort of a, it's like almost like a janitorial supply. You know what I mean? It comes in like a big industrial grade bottle.

There's like upside down jugs with roses coming up. Yep, that's right. Any guesses that what Whirl is made out of? It has two ingredients. I think ranch is in there. Okay. Thousand Island? Nope.

Uh, syracha. Nope. Ketch up? Nope. Um, hold on. Is ranch right? No. Oh.

Mustard? Nope. Mayo. What the fuck? No. Chili? Nope. Um, hold on.

Orange juice. I love it. I love going on a wild ride. Is it any sort of hot sauce? No. Is it oil? Barbecue sauce. Yes. So, okay. Is it oil vinegar?

Is one of the ingredients. Vinegar is not. Vegetable and olive. Please say it's. Whirl. So let's term the oil. Oh, man. What if it's Whirl? Like, what if it's miracle weapon oil? You're getting really close. Is oil part of the, is part of the name? I said oil. I said oil. It was me. I get partial. But is that part of the name? Like, is that why it's called?

Oh, like, oil. No. All right. Worrel. But I like where you're head is that. It's kind of, I think the name is kind of, I think the name is kind of the process of how these things mix together, which is, it's oil and margarine. Oh, interesting. And then it's like whipped together. Turns your blood into a bunch of red Google minutes. That's right.

That's right. Margarine is oil. Margarine oil? Yes. So it's like ice water, basically. Exactly. Yeah. It's like two forms. But it's like if you made a smoothie of ice and water.

Oil and margarine on a cheese. It's whipped together more oil than margarine. And they're selling this is of. Italian descent. Correct. They are Italian those who own own the restaurant.

Okay. I will also tell you, and sorry to anybody from Akron that's listening who doesn't already know this, all the pasta is like chef boy already. Yeah.

I'll tell you what, it's freaking good. No, I bet it's good. Because they do like baked Ziti. I never minded chef boy Rdi. I still don't. It's just bad for you. It is.

It's still good. It's like liquid salt, but man, it tastes fucking good. You know what I mean? I used to eat cold. I used to pop a cat. can. That's what they don't tell you is you can open the can and just eat it. It's

it's fine. It's ready to go. I mean, street people already know what's up. Yeah. Let's be real. Do you guys remember when they had the Shepfoyardee singles? Yeah. Like the little the microwave guys? Oh, yeah, yeah. You pull off the metal top. That was living. You don't always bug me out. It's like, don't have metal on there. If I'm buying it, don't expect me to know that I need to take the metal off. I bet you that exploded so many microwaves. Oh, because it just says, microwave on there. Oh, yeah. So the amount of people that probably were just like,

I'm going to put it in a microwave it without taking the metal off. When I was in like middle school, my mom bought something called spaghetti already, which was like a microwaveable spaghetti. Let me guess. Was the ad campaign, I want spaghetti already. And it was already with an eye.

It's Ian. It's prepping young men. It's prepping young boys to abuse their wives. Right. It's a, it's a welcome to a bachelor's a welcome to bachelorhood. It might as well be called. You're not going to get married, right? It's the preferred snack of people who expect to live alone for a while.

That's right. We never ate it. I remember, like, opening because you would go to the cupboard to look for snacks. And I was just, like, never wanted to make the spaghetti already. And it was there for years. Years! And my mom would throw stuff out if it expired, which means it didn't expire. No, spaghetti already doesn't go back.

So there was just like spaghetti already that was, like, in the house for longer than almost my stepdad. stepped out already I'd like to think that was a family recipe like there was a guy named Freddy Spaghetti already Freddy already Freddy already Alfredo already Of the Akron already

Of the Akron already Of the Akron already A different already coach LeBron in middle school People don't know that Nobody knows they got him ready I forgot one ingredient Which is a tomato wedge So sometimes I would be like

You can get that out of there. Hold the tomato. So with hell. Yeah, throw that at the wall. It's a bit much. I got to look this up. I got to look up. Can I look up a picture?

Can I show it? Any pinball machines in this place? What was that? Any pinball machines in this place? No pinball machines. However, there is a jukebox that one time was playing Michael Bolton. Yeah. And a woman walked in and she, you know, I don't know.

You know lake people who'd still dress like it's 1991. Yeah. She's totally a lake person. It's always 91 to lake. She just put out a caprice limb. She's got one of those little pouches. When you're a Midwestern and when you say lake people, do you mean one of the Great Lakes or is it like people

the way we understand it in the rest of the country? Okay, great. The Great Lakes are also lake people. Yeah, it's just a different type of lake person. So she walks in and she goes, she hears Michael Bolton, she goes, wow, this is my kind of place. Yeah. I will never forget that for the rest of them.

She didn't know about the cheese salad yet. The tightest black jeans, you know, stirrup black jeans probably. Stir up it. Which Bolton was it? Was it like Love is a Wonderful thing? When a man loves a woman. It was that era, yeah. Okay. Okay. That one. I love hearing that. Whatever that song is. My kind

of place. I mean, you can catch me saying that same shit right now. I heard a rumor. Guys got pipes on them. I heard a rumor recently and I almost don't want to say this because it's heartbreaking. I think you can cut it. I can cut it. No, no, no. This is not cut about this. I heard a rumor. It's a rumor. I don't even know this is true.

Don't sue me. It's a rumor, dude. Don't come for me. But that Bolton. might be on the Epstein list, dude. Oh, I'm not surprised. God, damn it. If that happens, you're not?

Oh, I wish I didn't say that. That's like making my own salad at Zupa. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let me see it. This isn't the best version of it, you know? Okay. It's a little sad.

That looks like I was hammered and I made it. So are you familiar with Ohio Valley? Right now. Is it Ohio Valley? What? Okay, great. Pennsylvania. The pizza that wasn't closed?

Ohio Valley pizza? Yeah, you remember we had that? Oh, yeah, that gross, the cold, half cold, half hot pizza. I didn't think it was gross. It wasn't, I don't know, man, cook it. I don't need, you know, I didn't need any of it to be cold. Smash like and subscribe if you want to weigh in on the Ohio Valley pizza debate. You guys didn't either.

I was with you. You were in the same place. I like that. We got a huge ass pizza, though, remember? We just didn't eat it all. I know. Well, the person, the guy was like, so far back. What do you say?

It's like two if you're hungry. Or no, two for lunch, three if you're hungry. I think I got four. Pittsburgh guy, though. Yeah. We were. You've got to go best you. They cook the pizza, but then they put the ingredients on cold.

And then they give it to you. It's Ohio Valley Pizza, it's called it. Is this in Pennsylvania? It was in Pennsylvania. And it's called, yeah. On our way to Ohio. You're talking about the Ohio Valley people in Pennsylvania. The disdain.

You think I'm from West Virginia. That's where that's coming from. Whoa, okay. It felt it. It felt it. I'm not going to say it didn't feel like that. I didn't know that West Virginia and Pittsburgh were like rivals up until recently. I mean, yeah.

It's like a coal-based rivalry. I always thought it was West Virginia versus everybody. Well, that's very true. That's what my back tattoo says. You know, it's something like five. John 316. Those are the two. Five percent of the land in West Virginia is owned by people in West Virginia.

95% of the land is owned by people who do not. Oprah, right? Oprah bottom You've got a ranch, I'm like You get a West Virginia And you get it West Virginia It's like Kauai where Zuckerberg Pop most of it, right? When you drive through West Virginia, it is beautiful

Yeah, it's gorgeous It's so pretty It's a beautiful place despite what has been done to it Yeah, it's so sorry Not necessarily by the people to live there Shenandoah River Yeah, yeah Have you guys been to West Virginia?

Oh yeah I think I've been through it I've never been I don't think I've been to West Virginia I haven't had the pleasure. But I do on significant land holdings, I hope that's not weird. Yeah, I've never been. I got a lot of mineral rights.

I actually have a holler. There's a Carmel hollar. You bought it all on Landvana, right? I got it on Landvana. I checked the landfax. That's right. That's right. I ran it out on Toro land.

Yeah. It was my birthday, so I just bought some land. Verb land. All right. It was okay. It was okay. Beat the last stuffing out of that. advisor.

Craigsland? Craigsland? I picked it. There we go. Land. We got there. Land before time? No.

Land rabbit? Land rabbit. Land rabbit's good. You guys seen Landman? You seen Landman? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched Landman. Oh, my day.

He was on a treadmill. I was done with Landman. Oh, yeah. You've got to be. It was. This landman right here was in the middle of trying to get through Citizen Kane for the first to stop. And then Landman dropped.

And I told me. You knew what you were doing. I watched a few of them and I was like, you got to watch Landman. He said, you know what he said, Riv? He said, it's Friday Night Lights about oil. It is. I'm like, yeah, all right. I mean, that's pretty high.

You might have said Friday Night's. Dumber. Dumber, I did. It is. Oh, yeah. It's so dumb. I mean, what's incredible about Taylor Sheridan's shows is like the first three episodes of something are like, what?

Yeah. And then it's just the same episode, 20 more times. And you're like, God, but I got to see. So that's entourage, that's ballers. Those are, I mean, I tried a true formula. Billiams, sign me up. But what's incredible is I have a great friend named Linda who lives in Fort Worth. That's where she's from.

Shout out, Linda. She is. How, guide, I can't remember how old. Anyways, she's one of my great friends. She wouldn't want you to say. She's so wise. I'll say that. And I was like, you watch that landman, Linda?

She goes, yeah, I do. That ain't no land man, though. That's not what a land man's doing. So she had all the vibes on landman. You got the Texas scoop on landman. That also makes me feel like an asshole. I don't know any landman. No, no.

I don't know one landman. I bet you they do in Texas, though. Oh, yeah. But you know they watch the shit out of that. Oh, yeah. It's like I watch anything that has related relation to like stand up comedy, so I get it. Sure, yeah. You watch shit about what you do.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, 100%. I watch Yellowstone. I try to get it because I watched. Have you watched all of it? No, I have. all as of I have watched the whole shit

yeah I watched all the yellows this is a spoiler it's fucked up dude it's fucked up it's so insane it's so fucked up five minutes into the first episode Kevin Koster shoots a horse in the face

yeah that's how they enter you that's how it starts I've seen the first episode you have you would like it you would love Beth Dutton I still got Citizen Kane on

I've got finished citizen cane I mean Yellowstone is the citizen cane of our time I'd say that I'd say that I'm gonna get you a Beth Dutton t-shirt You know I've I watch clips

Like YouTube will have like This you know Six minute clip from an episode of Yellowstone Where something gnarly happens I'll watch those So I know a lot of things that happen It's I just don't know what order they happen If I give you

It's crazy That shows crazy If I send some sort of contraption to your house First of all are you okay if I send a contraption Is it a solo flex? No it's not You don't need one of those It's going to be a cord

That comes out from your TV With a like a box and a button on it Okay The Dutton button Every time you hit it the next episode, the Yellowstone. Would you allow that in your home? Did you just give him a Walker, Texas Ranger lover?

Yeah, the Dutton Buzz. It's not only up to me. Yeah. But I will. Watch it. Watch it with Laura. Watch it with Max. My 50% stake in the house will vote to have that be something with you.

Yeah. Max doesn't get a say yet. She's actually on my side, no matter what. It's probably the most, it's probably the most colonizer heavy thing I've ever watched. It's like the first season I was like this is from the bad guys This sucks for sure But it's so gripping

It's so gripping Oh it's so imperial It's so it's like It's like why the natives are bad Yeah it's like It's so imperial that they're like We're the good guys Yeah

The whole show is like But this is my lane That's really what I've been here the whole time And you're like No you haven't But did you get with 1883?

I couldn't get into it. Really? How far did you go? I have not started though. That one's got Sam Elliott in there, right? So 1883 is good. Because it's the Duttons when they got there, right? Yes.

It's how they get there. Okay. I like that. 1923 is annoying as shit and I can't get through it. And I love, that's the second. I love Harrison. Yeah, yeah. That's the third one.

So that's the 1883. Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's in between Yellowstone and 1883. I love that, though. I feel like they should do more. TV shows about that family in a different time. Have you seen 1992 where

Scotty Pippen joins the ranch? And he gets branded with a Chicago Bulls. It's Pippin, BJ Armstrong, and Luke Longley, and they just like hang out on the ridge and they have a great time. Hey, we're in Montana. Which one of those three was that? Luke Longley.

Scottie Pippin. That's in Arkansas. Well, you don't know is that's a perfect Arkansas actually. We're in Montana. I'm scooty peeping. Mentina. Oh, I saw an economically

disadvantageous contract. Oh, I should have gone paid more. You guys always do that as Kiwi. That's a New Zealand accent. Isaac would not good at accent. It's in the general area. The general area. What's the thing that changes it

into an Australian accent? Down under, the vowels are a lot wider. Oh, yeah, wide. Yeah, he did. The tide on Kiwi, the tide on Kiwi, they tied up. They say Iminim. There's a rapper name. Eminem.

I mean him. So Kiwi is like Midwestern. Basically. And then Australian is more like Southern. It's like Southern. Australians would say, I'm anem. I'm anew.

I feel drunk. I feel drunk watching you talk. Marshall Mathers. I thought you meant the candy. Yostas. Eamonem. Have you listened? Are you listening to that Marshall?

Mather's L.P. It was good. He's making some good points on there. Marshall Mathers. He's really going to figure it out. He's got to threaten to stick nine-inch nails into both of his eyelids. What was? Why would you do that to yourself?

We're not here to unpack M&M. We're going to figure it out. That's my new podcast. Unpacking Eminem. David Boree and Higher Ground bring you unpacking M&M. My first guest is Former Secretary of Education Arne Duncan

Also that fat kid named DeAngelo Bailey Who's DeAngelo Bailey? Remember he had that song Where he said that kid beat him up In the bathroom And then the guy, I guess, sued him Because he said his name

Oh You guys remember that he was like Every day I was picked on by this kid He said his full name He said a fat kid named DeAngelo Bailey Eminem said that I've said it now five times Yeah you have

He's coming for us He's coming for you We know he's not going to sue us I think cut that out. We have not incorporated. Do you think as the singer DeAngelo got slightly heavier, the DeAngelo Bailey got skinnier and that there's some sort of equilibrium that these two DeAngelos have to hit?

Is that what Dorian Grace about? I like your lobster class. You're ebbing and flowing lobster class. But really it's the body weight of twin D'Angelo's. There have always been two D'Angelo's and there will always be two D'Angolas. Is this what the lobster is about? That is what it's... Ian's complicated.

Complicated, dude. It's complicated. And it's Ian, bro. We're drafting trucks, dude. Sean Jordan's here. I am too. I mean, me too. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram.

This comes out the 17th. The 16th. I'll be in Rapid City this weekend. South Dakota. Come check it out. I was there. Sign up for the Patreon. We're doing fun stuff over there.

Oh, yeah. David Borders here. Cool guy jokes 87. Cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram. Oh, watch my special that's on 800 pound gorilla now. I've said a lot of wrong dates and I understand that. But for real, September 30th is when it came out. And now it's available so you could just watch it. You were saying a lot earlier. I was saying a lot of different dates. Wait, it's out now. As of when this comes out. But it comes out two weeks from now.

Got it. Okay, got it. I'm 41 when this comes out. Jesus. That's crazy. How's that? We are. Oh, you are. I thought you were doing them. I think it's going to feel great. Feels out. I'm 43. It feels amazing. Yeah, I'm 43 too. 43. I've been, look, I've been, it's been more fun every year. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. My knees would disagree, huh? Yeah.

The old ache and fucking knees would disagree, but. If you touch me again, dude, I'm going to put him not do shit. Watch him not do shit. All right. You call my bluff. You call my bluff. If you did. It just blacked out like, Overfield? What happened? They're not,

they don't know each other anymore. So they're off for like a month, but they're coming back. This goes back and I'm like, what's up, bro? It's the podcast where one of us is sorry. River Butchers.

Yeah. What are your social medias? I'm pretty much just on, I think I'm primarily on Instagram and it's just at Rive But that's also my TikTok, which I haven't really put much up on there. No, it's tough to keep up on over there. I missed it. I missed it. I missed it. Also, I saw what it took to not miss it. And I was

like, I got it. I don't know if it's sour grapes or not, but I was just like, I can't. Because I would see, you see how hard some of these people work. It's not sour grapes. It's just knowing where, what you want to put in. I'm not, I can't do it. I can do Instagram. We've been out, we've been around since my space. I don't have another. one. I do not have another one in me. I really put a lot into Twitter. Same. And, uh, you know, I never did. I never did. I never stopped wearing baggy pants. I never changed with any of trends. And now they're all bad. Yeah, they're all bad. They all came back around again. But, uh, I will say today I was, uh, because I was on a podcast last night, a live podcast that shall not be named. And, uh, okay. I went off. Whoa. And I, I, not, I wasn't like shitty. I was just like telling the truth. Okay. You know what I mean? Were you going on about comedy? No. Oh.

The world. It's the time to go off. I mean, yeah, dude. I was respectful, but I got to live with dignity, man, in this world. Absolutely. You know what I mean? I can't, I can't like be in a place where things are being talked about and I don't talk about how they affect me and my people. 100%.

Yeah, that's fair. And the people that I love, you know, like, and so anyway, so I did that and I was like, well, that's the last time I'm going to be on there. And then I got this be in my bonnet that I was going to stream on Twitch now. So I was like, you know those commercials that like around Christmas time or like, they'll just have these commercials of like, ooh, I want to do this. And then the person's like, how do I do this? And then the cart starts and I was like literally doing that. I was like, okay, I got to do this other podcast. Some like a peppy Marimba song was playing in the background.

Who do you want to be? During COVID, I'm like, I'm going to stream. I'm going to Twitch. I'm going to play Tony Hawk. People are going to make my money. I'm going to live in capitalism. once. I twitched and people actually tuned in

and then I was like, I don't want to... What'd you do? Do you play a game? What'd you do? Yeah, I don't remember what game I was playing, but people were tuning in and I was like, just immediately turned off to the whole. I was like, oh, I don't... It seems like the camera, nobody wants to see me how I'm actually sitting there. A lot of people twitch just like a video, like...

Talking. That's what I would do. I'm not going to play video. The video game part of it. Get your... Look at us. Come on rubbing elbows. I play a couple of rubbing elbows in Hollywood. Look at us! You gotta get a landman in here.

Dispute here But the video I play video games specifically To be alone Yeah I don't even really love When my wife is in the room Which is stoop

But I'm like I very much want to be like So like that whole like Twitch video games thing Yeah I don't I mean if I'm watching skate videos Laurel sit down

I'm like What are you doing? Yeah You like you enjoying this I want maybe you are I like to think you are It's beautiful to watch But I want to actually

think I'm the head coach of Texas tax football. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I don't want you to hear how I put my players of it. It's been in the 90s, the whole time. Between us. I was You're not a recruit? How are you doing in here? Yeah, I mean. The locker room. I'm mean to everyone.

I mean to, but I respect. I do it to, I do it to get the best. You gotta build their future. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to shape the next generation. Everybody here knows that I was the offensive coordinator of Virginia Tech and yeah, I got us the playoffs, all right? But they want to know if I have what it takes to lead a team, much less Texas tech.

Yeah. You know? It's all on you. And my wife is sitting there reminding me that I am a now 41-year-old occasionally employed comedy writer. And you're not in college station. Not in college station at all. I'm not even in Lubbock.

What? Luchenbach? I don't know if there's a college in Lukenbach, Texas. I'm just saying Lukenbach, Texas. I'm just saying Texas. Oh, I don't know about that. Waco. Oweko.

Somebody, hey, hit us back up. Let's do the show in Waco. Yeah, somebody hit us up about doing a show in Waco, right? Yeah. How did you get that? Can you only drive to Waco? I think so. You got an Army Crawl.

Well, I don't know. That's a good question because, like, Chip and Joanna Gaines have really brought some popularity to the town. You can fly to Waco. You can fly to everywhere. You can't fly to everywhere. You basically can fly to Dallas-Forth, and then fly to Waco. Really? Yeah, yeah.

So, Waco has an airport? Waco's got an airport. It's got to have one. For you boys? For the gang? Shit, the boys are coming to too. Chip and Joanna Gaines have kind of done to, like, Waco, what the Dallas Cowboys did for Dallas after the Kennedy assassination. So, like, as to the Branch Dividian complex, is the Chip and Joanna Gaines.

Kennedy assassination. So you're saying that Chip and Joanna Gaines are CIA operatives. Yes, I think they are. If you guys say their names one more time, I'm going to have to ask who they are. I think they are shiplap washing the British Divideon controversy. They're shiplapping it. They're shiplapping it. They're shiplapping it.

People buy your book? It's called T-shirt Swim Club. You can buy it a hard copy. You can listen to the audiobook. I'm really proud of it. I think it's very funny and also emotionally honest. I think you'll like it, too, whether you were. a fat kid or

not. There's only two kinds of kids out there. That's right. As far as Coach Carms is concerned. Offense and defense, baby. It should really be better about pushing this book. I mean, it's more than a year old now. It's amazing.

I read it and I hate reading. 20 people bought it last week. You know, that's not bad. That's not bad. It's not good. Jesus. How many people bought your book last week? I didn't write one.

Got him on his heels. Fuck. Isaac? Emotional hoops? There it is. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to emotional hoops.

It'll be back on. It's good. What are you? Come on. What? My book? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm saying 20 people buying is good. Oh, no. Oh, no. It is. Yeah. It's not good. We heard enough trucks, bro. Rive, this was one of yours?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I love this. Yeah, I'm excited. When it showed up on the suggestions, I was like, that's the one fucking trucks, dude. I'm scared to what to pick first.

I can't even. Well, I know. There's a lot of first places. It's fun because, like, when we draft like, I don't know, Al Pacino movies or something like that, there are like pretty clear top tier. This is one of those ones where it's a real. He's got a movie called Trucks.

Trucks. Trucks, at least in Albert County, Trucks is a very dividing line between people. Yeah. There's Dodge guys. Oh, yeah. board guys. Wait,

are we getting, we're not getting specific. Well, that's, well, we don't know if we were doing brands or would it be a brand?

A card. My shit's specific. Yeah, I got a whole. I got like a model. I got some years on here. Yeah. I got.

I got specific, yeah. Makes, models. I have exact trucks. Yeah. Well, we're going to get into it. The way we determine the order of this draft

is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors. Play between the three of you. We throw on shoot. All right, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Damn. Oh, again, rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Damn. Oh, again, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David wins. A natural victory. Rock against two skizzers. Fun to say, I love that. Tarjeet. David is this way?

Well, we'll say. Oh, we don't say. David is the winner. It is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. I'm already trying to pick which year. Before you do that, I will remind you with a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question.

It's like a huge. Helix? What? Aren't those the DNA things that twist? I don't know. I don't know that it's serpentine, though. Double helix. It's like a double helix?

No. It is like, that was my go to. I don't have anything else. It is like a vine growing up a house, going left to right, you know, growing up the house. just going left and then growing up to the right maybe along a lattice and it's nice it's sort of

the person who owns the home wanted the vine to go up is it iceberg lattice or romance lattice tomato and onion it's made out of oil and margarine I think we've gotten laughter we were going to get out of this you pick fourth in the first round

it means you pick first in the second round with that in mind David what will the order of the truck strap be? What's a helix? We're going to go the wait no David River Sean Ian Confirner Confusing I don't think a helix of serpentine

Isaac am I What is a helix I'm I just looked it up And it twists Yeah Yeah it's not Yeah it's more like Is it ever twist back

Not really What if you're a vampire Yeah Yes What's a DNA in a vampire Yeah I mean Do not ask That's what that's the DNA in a vampire

Have I got a subreddit for you Yeah Vampire Jiz subreddit What? Our vampire jizz I actually met my best friend on our vampire jizz What are these called?

And then you married your best friend I married my best friend Of course, yeah Dana was pointing out the jizz-based inaccuracies in Robert Eggers Nosferatu Do you do this from your own friend? Do you do this have your own valetian?

Would you upvote my comment on the color and consistency of vampire giz? The podcast is not funny anymore. Moderators locked my vampire g's thread at 943 comments. It only works if you've seen Nosferrati. Yeah, no. I haven't seen that. I'm not a vampire guy Well, you guys would have been

hooting and hollering You would have been four I'll tell you that right now You would have thought Mr. Scarsguard was in the room One, two Mr. Scarsgards Alexander The one that played Pennywise

Alexander? Yeah, yeah Okay, yeah Bill Bill. Alexander's the hot one who was in They're all hot But Bill's the one

Who played Pennywise And no stuff You think a lot of dudes are hot You were a very generous Hot-Hander Except what he's not though Okay, first of all, Alexander. Alexander Scarsguard is fucking beautiful.

Of course, Alex. We're not talking about Alex. Well, right, right. You think all of them are hot? Objectively hot. Yes, he's sexy. And sexy gets to be hot. Okay.

Should we be drafting hot dudes? We did it. Can I tell you it's usually the first 20 minutes of every other? It's not come up two weeks in a row. Yeah. Just did this. But man, every month is Pride Month. That's right.

Let me look up Bill, Scarce. Bill Scarsgard was in Barbarian. Bill is hot. He's hot. Okay, Bill's hot. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. He's the most interesting looking of them because he has, Alexander's like an Adonis.

He's nuts looking. He plays a Viking. He doesn't he play like in the movie Vikings? Northman. Yes, right. He's the North man. He's the Northman. He's the Northman.

You think there's a man expanded universe where North and Land will ever get to hang out? I hope so. Is that the real man for here? Spider. Land, North. Bat. Bad. You know they have dinner.

La La La. Gary Old. Oh, yeah. Harriet Tub. Morgan Free? Nicole Kid. That's right. It really changes them when you take the man off their last thing.

Harriet Tub is a different person. That's a different vibe. That's a rough nickname is what that is. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Harriet Tubbs coming over. Oh, man. Oh, man. That got me.

I really got me. Man, that was funny. It was good. Sometimes I wonder, is it going to be funny? It was funny. No, we got it. We got it. We're here.

Tell the kids, we're locked in. Oh, that was tight. I have to pick my first truck, though, right? You do, you do, you do. Bill Scarsgard, though. He is a good-looking guy. It's weird that he's... He's interesting, looking.

He's interesting. He's got the narrow sort of Nosferatu, if you will, face. Norsferatu is sort of an interesting... We're going to take a break first. We're going to take a break. Oh, we're going to take a break. And we will be right back with more about... I'm going to say, 14-month-out-of-date impressions.

This episode of All Fantasy, Everything is brought to you by Chubbies. Oh, who me? Yeah, I'm just chilling. You caught me. Wind-swept hair. got back from the beach. Got my chubby shirt on, no big deal. I just, I got to talk to you about Chubbies. You want to turn heads at a lake. If you really want to turn heads at a lake or beach or the mall or a parking lot, get yourself some Chubbies. I mean, this is just one of the shirts.

Don't even get me started on all the other things I have, but it's just, I bought this specifically to wear on vacation last summer, and it did not disappoint. I'm out here. And Chubbies, listen, the fall is coming up, leaves are turning all that stuff. It's not just limited. to shorts, although the shorts are amazing, which I will show you in a second. But they have all kinds of cozy stuff. You want to sit down. You want to get cozy. You want to get down in them sweatpants. You want to get down in their cozy collection, perfect for running errands and impromptu nap. You can also take a nap in this, by the way. It's going to rock when you do it, but you can do it. But let me talk to you a little bit about the chubby stretch shorts.

Hollar at your boy. Hold on. Get a good view of those. They got sharks all over them. Again, turning heads of the lake. Those are exactly what I'm. I wore to the lake this summer. Almost every time I'm out in water, if it's involved, that's what I'm wearing. So the chubby shorts, they got the stretch shorts, so they don't have sharks on them. You can get shorts that'll get you by at the grocery store. You know, you can wear those to the grocery store too, but it might dictate what you buy. But they have all kinds of amazing shorts to shop from. It's essentially what you're going to get when you go there. So many shorts to choose from. Plain colors, not a ton of logos on some. And then some are super loud like the

shark shorts. They got classic lion swim trunks, four-way stretch. They're going to fit any body type. It's just great. And if you're looking, like I said, if you're looking for cozy, you go get in on the sweatpants, you go get in on the joggers, anything you got, anything you need, rather, they got you covered. And they got all kinds of shirts just like this. Get in there, get swimming, get cozy, get folly, get summary, whatever you need to do, Chubby's got you covered. Whether you're layering up for tailgates, lounging through lazy Sundays, or just leaning into fall comfort, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our listeners, 20% off your order with the code all fantasy at chubby shorts.com slash all fantasy.

That's code all fantasy at chubby shorts.com slash all fantasy. Support the show. Show your thighs some respect with chubbies. Hollar at your boy. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by Babel. Now, we talk about all the time, but like why would you want to learn a new language? You know, it's not about showing off that you know the language, although that's cool. It's about actually being able to speak it out in the real world. You get to hang out with real people who speak in other language. You can travel more. And Babel's going to get you there fast. That's the whole point of learning a language is you want to, I'll speak for myself. I want to go somewhere. I want to travel. I don't want to be able to speak to people in a real way. I don't want to sound like a moron.

So I want Babel to help get me there. Essentially, learning a language with Babel is just about the small steps. They don't overwhelm you. It's not like you're in school or anything. They got tiny little bite-sized lessons, they're going to fit easily into your routine. So you go, you do your push-ups, your 10 push-ups that you do every Wednesday, and then you get like 10 minutes a day, and it's enough to start seeing the results. And it's going to recognize, you know, the real-world connections that you need, like the heart of learning a language, it's actually knowing what you're saying. The courses, they're designed by over 200 language experts. They're human beings that are teaching you how to do it. They're going to teach you relevant words, how to actually

get around, things that you might implement when you're traveling, such a good thing to learn and just better for your mind. You know, it's always nice to get new knowledge. You know what I'm talking about. However, you learn best if it's listening, speaking, reading, writing, Babel adapts to your style. They're going to keep you motivated with personalized learning plans. They got real-time feedback, progress tracking, everything to help you out that you're going to need Babel has for you. And here is a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babble.com forward slash all fantasy. Get up to 55% off babble.com forward slash all fantasy spelled BABB-B-B-E-L.com

forward slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply. He sort of bailed on how committed you were to the impression. No, I had to think of when it was. 14 month out of date impersonations. That was good. I haven't even seen it. I can tell that was better. Do you do this of your own free will?

Well, it loses a little bit if you keep saying the same thing. It's the only thing I remember. He says volition to palisian. Have you heard the know? This is because this is what? Do you want to come over and watch? Demolition, man. Would you like to come?

Did you hear the new Kendrick track about Drake? Because this was about that time. What's that? That's about when Nosferatu came out. I went with my mom. Do you think he's going to do not like us at the super? Yes, I do. Do you think Drake will win any of these battles?

They should let Drake do the next Superboy. Tell me you wouldn't watch. I would. I got to see this movie. This is all from the movie. I guess I got to catch this up. This is for beta, and it's crazy because it's like 1880s Germany. They should have put some of that in the trailer out of watch.

Yeah, that would have got me for sure. David, time for your first pick? Wait, do we take a break? We took it. Oh, okay, okay. We'll come back to all fantasy, everything. All of that was already in, right? Yes.

Okay, cool. Yeah. Okay. I'm taking a 53 Chevy 3100. Totally don't need to look that up. I was going to say, I won't look at Ian's screen at all. You've seen it, though. You don't know that you've seen it, but you've seen it.

It's... Is it orange? Oh, that's a cute little guy. It's pretty big, though. I love that, like, I love that big, rounded face. I love the grill. on it. You know what this thing is?

Honkin. Yeah. That is Honk him. Yeah. Yeah. Since, okay, so we haven't, Ian had a truck for a while. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

River, David, either one of you ever had a truck? No. Not yet. Aspiring? It's weird because I'm divorced. Yeah. That's what you get a 53. That's the one thing you should have got to keep in the divorce.

Did you have a move when you got divorced? Did you have like a thing that you embraced that you're, like this is my divorce thing. Like a truck, but not a truck. Oh, yeah, country music. Oh. It makes it even crazy you didn't have a truck.

I know. I was really trying to... Where do you put your bat? Do you know how... I have a Rav 4 which is close but it's in there. You know, but like I'm still like, that Maverick looks pretty cool.

Yeah. Gets the same gas mileage as this car. You know, I'm just constantly... What I wanted a Ford Ranger. Anyway, we're getting ahead. We're saying picks. Sure. Okay.

Specifically, that one. That one is... You got a color you? want on that? I would like maroon. Oh, okay. Yeah, like a dark red with the full kind of circular hubcaps and white walls. Oh, yeah. And then I would kind of like wood

rails on the side too. Yeah. Yes, girl. Like the beaver wet? Like an old, like an old delivery truck situation. What's a wood rail? You know, up on the side of the bed? Oh, you're not talking wood paneling on the side. No, no, no, no. I feel you. Okay. And then I'm not short. Three on the tree? I was just going to say, I feel like they got to be three on the tree. Yeah. Because it's the 50s.

I think that's awesome. So yeah. Because the clutch on a big old truck like that's like, wait, I don't know. Just three in the tree is like a truck. I think it must be. It doesn't look like three on the tree. It's not. Four on the floor? Three on the tree is still still hard as shit to drive. I've never actually driven one. It doesn't have a clutch, but you're

still like driving it if I remember correctly. It looks like it does. You still have to give it gas like it's a manual. To get to get it. It's not like how we do it. Right, right, right. I'm full. I can drive his stings for on the more. He's, Ian's looking it up,

it doesn't look like it's on the tree. And I know what this means. You fill in the back with jelly beans or what? Merry Christmas. So anytime you want jelly beans,

you just walk around the back of your truck. During prohibition, you just take the canvas off. Jelly beans, man, they won't fuck you up. You know, jelly beans in the back of this thing.

I'm still a comedian, so like there would be nothing cool back there. I have an embarrassing amount of tools. Do you have tools? I have, like, homeowner tools. I have like a craftsman drill. Yeah, I got a craftsman drill.

But I would like, like. When did you get that thing? A while ago. I was going to say, Sears is out of business. I would like, I mean, I think real tools are cool. I would like some Milwaukee or some. Yeah. But it's sort of like tools are so expensive.

You can't just, I live in an apartment. What do I need? I fell into the Ryobi hole. They're all green. I mean, I know, it's nice. Careful, that's how you got the first one. It sucks. They're all green and you look so dumb.

Ryobe is homeowner tools, but they also have that universal battery system. I'm saying that's because it goes with the weed whacker. Are you telling me the guy from Street Fighter 2 has his own tool on you? Raiubi. My one wish. That's my Roller Julia. That's my Roller Julia. I just weed whack and the whole time out there doing Haurucans.

I don't think you should feel bad about falling in the Ryobi hole. Yeah. It's like I could, I could get a DeWalt for a hundred bucks more. What am I doing? I don't, you know what I mean? But they're green. I would say I used to work for this guy and he bought Ryobi Tools, but we used them like a work amount and he was constantly buying.

Yeah, I'm not. Like when you put them through like real, he was always. Well, that's why you spend an extra $100. Yeah. Ryobie yard tools. So like Ryobie weed whacker, mower. But if I like the drill I think is Duolts, the tools. the real tool. I guess the lawnmower is not a tool, huh?

There's the breakout clip. I'll note it down, yeah. Fuck you. But outside of tools, 53-7- We just make it some dumb, boring clip. Should we try to make the most boring clip possible? We should try to beat the algorithm by doing that. Okay.

Is that how you beat the algorithm? By making it really boring. The one we put out today was all algorithm-based. The Whole Foods 365 by my house. started selling turkey chomps in both. So I got a big bag. I can't be laughing. Do they have cottage cheese?

Hold on. Do they have cottage cheese? The Whole Food 365 by my house has three different kinds of cottage cheese. I can't do it. What's your, can't do it. Anyway, that could be.

What's your favorite? Sean, what's your favorite whale of corduroy? I don't know what you're talking about. Do you like a wide whale or a thin whale of corduroy? Thin? Yeah. That's just like sort of...

Based on algorithm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're trying to break into corduroy talk. Oh, sure. Yeah. Because the kids are into corduroy now. Big. It's back again.

Or whatever. It's got to be wide whale, right? Wide whale. Every time I try to venture into quarry, it gets stinky. It's so high. I have some corduroy hats that do all right. Yeah, sure. Material if you wash it a few times, like, I don't know.

It's nasty. I think there must be a way to wash the whale. like that makes it less stinky. I've had quarter, I have corduroids shorts that I wear a lot. They don't stink. Shorteroys?

Shortorized, dude. That was all right. Shortor. I was all right. I was going to try to link it to succession, but I stopped. Brando Royce. We're still podcast.

We're not going to come back. I know. 53 Chevy 3100. Yeah, man. If like a, like if you were bringing a car, cars, Pixar's cars. I think this is one of the trucks.

It does look like it can talk. It does look like it can talk. It does look like it can talk. It does have its own life. Rive, time for your first pick. Great. Mine is in 1985. Toyota SR5.

Okay. Four by four. Get over here with you. Black. Okay. Lifted. That's right. Okay.

How high? Oh. Eight feet. You guys recognize that truck? Yeah. 1985. Is it a fly? Is this not a fly?

That thing is. That's right. This isn't a five? Yeah, that's right. Okay. Get a load of that four by four. Great pick. Yep.

Oh, shit. Great pick. I was trying to think it and then I saw it. Yeah, that's a great truck. Yeah, it's a great truck. Exactly same one. Perfect truck. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a great first pick. God, I can feel the summer wind on my face. I mean, throw a couple sleeping bags in the back. Yeah. Bros. Babes, beers all summer long. You just laying in the back.

Divorce. Divorce. one of these sold back in 2020 so you know keep that in mind 58 grand in April of 2020 how many miles

bring a trailer and it's pristine looking they got those floodlights on top too yeah the KC floodlights up there yeah that that's good on a bunch of teenagers drinking in the field that's right scare him like you're the cops

god when he pulled up in that he looks so fucking cool who wait what are you talking about that's Marty McFly's Martin McFly Oh, I did not hear you say that. Oh, yeah, get a load of that four by four. Yeah. You guys are killing me.

My picks are going to suck. Don't look at my screen, dude. I'm going to sound like a four-year-olds. That's the, uh, throw a couple of sleeping bags in the back. That's what he's saying to Jennifer Parker. Oh, man. Yeah. When they're watching it drive by and get, get unloaded at the, um.

Because that's when he's rich, Marty, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Well, it's at the, so that's what he wants. Right. As, as Marty.

When he opens up the garage, that's what's in there. But that's what he gets after he gets. after he goes back in the past and messes up and makes all these mistakes and then gets his parents back together in a genuine way. Yeah. My mom has the hots for me?

My mom's got the hots for me? Why do you keep calling me Kelvin? It's written all over your underwear. Do you think this truck looks... All over print Calvin Klein underwear? Cool because we have memory and cultural context and nostalgia associated with it. Or do you think it just looks cool?

I think it's both. Because this is like the coolest looking truck. Well, because I don't look this cool anymore. I think that, you know, Toyota nailed the, the, like, silhouette of a truck. Yes, they did. Like, there are many beautiful Chevys and Ford's and there's many beautiful trucks. Yeah. But when you, when I think truck, that is the shape, you know, it's like a child's toy almost of like, hey, that's a truck.

Like, I remember one time my friend, you know, the Vans Authentics, she was like, I just get these. because they look like a shoe. You know, like when you say the word shoe, you think that's that just a shoe. Like that's the shoe Doug wears on Doug. Yeah, exactly. It's like a pennyloa or something like that. So like because it's so like ubiquitous

and just like it just is so aesthetically pleasing and it's simpleness. Yeah. You know, it's got all that extra stuff on it. You take all that stuff on it and it's not even lifted regular tires. That's still a badass truck. Trucks look better when they're like not.

Every truck and I get this is like a common. and complaint and everything, but they're like fucking war, war machines. People go nuts with the lifts and everything. And also the way that they built them like, you guys know, like the way they build them now, like, they're built to kill people and children. Like, you cannot see a child in front of you to stop.

You also don't, I mean, I get, like, they look kind of cool in a way. Like in the way like a brutalist architecture looks kind of cool where you're like, oh, interesting. I have to swing myself up. to get into it. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, nobody looks cool getting into them.

It's all cab, it's no truck. Yes. It's got a four-foot bed. You can't even put a freaking ladder in there. I don't really, like a four by four, something's sticking out of the back. Like, it's not a functional truck. Personally, yeah. It looks, I think they look goofy.

It looks terrible. Yeah. And then you get a super cab and you put a six foot, eight-foot bed on that. That's a giant vehicle. Yeah, that's a tank. It's a tank. And no, you're not on a ranch, dude. You don't need that many jelly beans.

some of my answer picks though but I do got some big ass truck sure sure sure sure I love it I love it I love it I like to see them I'm talking about like right now like I was walk yeah there was one there's like one in my neighborhood where it's just like it's so tall where the engine is crazy

it's not even the truck isn't even I don't think it's lifted or if it is it's like very slightly lifted it's just like the grill on the front it feels like it's like five feet of just grill and I'm like for for what man, it's just so, I don't know. A buddy of mine in high school

move out of this phase. One of my buddies that I hung out with all the time had a truck you had to jump into. Yeah. It was just like after a while. Like pull yourself, like do a pull up to get into it.

You had to like kind of just like jump. Yeah. It was just a no way. It's just irritating. Yeah. Um, Sean, time for your first pick. Food truck. Yeah.

Okay. Great. Any specific one or just the whole. Just kind of the movement. They weren't. Yeah, the movement. Yeah, the movement. What do you think?

La Raza, dude. John's on board. The food truck. But like food trucks weren't around when I was a kid, or that I ever knew up. I'm sure they were. Where I was either. I never, never even heard of it until I got to Portland. They had the carts.

I know those aren't food trucks, but like the food, there'd be food trucks in Portland. I never saw them before that. Did they start on the West Coast? Because I feel like I saw. I bet you they started here and they were like taco trucks. I feel like San Diego and up. I remember seeing them in Washington in like Seattle is pretty. Portland had more.

Like all the festivals would always have food trucks. Portland's more cart than truck. But I feel like the carts were derived from the truck. Sean was talking out of his ass earlier. Now he's trying to like cover it. I'm trying to back pedal from it. I mean, to bring it back to the tool angle, I mean, that that is like a hand truck, you know? Like it's also known as a hand truck.

So like many things are called trucks. I was thinking about putting hand truck on, but then I found enough regular truck. Yeah. Don't know what a hand truck is. There were also a ton of, there's also just a ton of food trucks important. I'm sorry. I was trying to be funny and I felt like it came off more mean than funny. Also, food trucks are cool though. It's cool that you have

a truck that you can make dinner on. It's insane. You just go get good food. Dinner for everybody. It's great. And they go, we had an ice cream truck at our wedding. Kidding me? You did have an ice cream truck. Don't say pics. I know you I know you love this movie, chef, dude. When they're putting together that food truck.

Oh, yeah. Never seen chef. What? Me neither. You are you serious? Sorry to bum me out. It's fun. It's really fun. It's really fun. It's really fun. I need some. John Favre, right? Favs, Leguizomes. It's also because I love a restaurant that makes two things.

Yes. Yeah. That's like always... But only two things. Yeah, that's always... Cheese salad. Yeah, cheese salad. Cheese salad and diarrhea.

I think... I think you will watch Chef, and then I think you will probably see... Within that next 12 months, see Chef again six times. Okay. I do think that. Yeah, you would really love one of those. I imagine no one's doing anything tonight, so there's a chance I watch Chef tonight.

Who knows? Or Braveheart? You know who sneaks a sneaky little way into the movie. Chef? I almost don't want to... I'm not going to tell you. Go in not knowing anything. Oh, man.

Go in not knowing anything. Buy it on Shane's prime. Buy it on Shane's prime. Hey, Shane, you heard David tell me what to do. Give me everything chef, too, because it costs just as much as the regular one. I'm going to purchase it. I'm not rent it. Shane owns a bunch of movies now.

He owns belly. He owns shit. That was a great beat. Yeah, food trucks. Great pick. What's your favorite food truck? I don't think I have. You mean in Portland

They're all carts I don't know I can't think of one off rip What's your favorite food cart Matt's barbecue in Portland's a good one Oh that's a great one Yeah A lot of them got in brook and mortar

Mons Cowman guy There's the new Asylum It used to be a cart Or it used to be a truck Montage has a truck Azteca in Highland Park That's what's fucking up

Dude that was it I was waiting my turn They got the brick and mortar That is They do have a brick and order In, on, on, on, on, on, on Verdugo. Yeah, I've never been there, though. No shit.

I've only ever been in a truck in front of 7-11. Like, right by Verdugo in Colorado and Glendale. That's Sharpie's favorite taco spot. That's Taco Estacca. Oh, that place rips. Yeah. It's amazing. It's so good.

There's a, the montage has a food truck now. So they have like two of them in Portland, so I suppose montage. Jojo's, our guy. Yeah. Jojo's, Joejo's is dope. Still on Powell. Also, Arlo's in Austin is one of my favorite food trucks. because they do the best vegan barbecue

I've ever had in my life. Oh. What are they doing? Like jackfruit? No, it's satan. It's good. Oh, man. Jackfruit sucks.

No, it's Satanics. Yeah, no, it's Satanic. It's really good. They summoned it from hell, dude. Satanic vegan barbecue. Yeah, yeah. I've had really good Satan before. Yeah, it's good.

City in Denver has great Satan wings. They really do. I like, I don't like them more than a regular wing. No, but they're good. But I do like a vegan wing. When I can get my, when I get You just got to watch out with that bamboo stick in there You do have to look out for that bamboo stick in there

Almost lost. The thing about a vegan wing that trips me out Is that it's just like a, it looks like a Lego When you get the wing off, it's like a just a long Lego. I'll take a vegan boneless. Yeah. Who was it that used to get the vegan wings at fire on the mountain? And I would always sneak one.

I would? Yeah. You would snag him from yourself. Oh. You were dating to go for a while. You remember because Zach, you were dating to go for a while. That realization was crazy. And you're the only one I've ever seen to it.

Maybe Helen. It was that girl with whom I was amorous. With whom I was... Is that a kind of truck in amorous? What's the amorous mean? Kimberly, she was the vegan idea. Right. Oh, yeah.

We've all dated a vegan. No, no, no, yeah. In Portland. In Portland. I've never dated a fucking vegan. Have you not? No, maybe I have. Yeah, I was just...

She introduced me to many delicious vegan restaurants. Mm-hmm. There's a vegan sushi place here in L.A. Buying buy up in Portland No, this isn't like Little Tokyo or at least it was Yeah The plant lab is a good

Vegan sushi truck It's actually good But a while to have The plant lab if it wasn't vegan Oh Never? No never You're a gold star vegan?

Vegetarian Yeah Still You know Time for my first pick Skateboard trucks God you Whoa

Like independent The next time You want to give me shit About like saying some So like we picked We pick states I picked Hawaii I've never been there. He lost his mind.

I didn't lose my mind. Bub, blah, blah. You know, and now I got to hear him pick skateboard. I went after you. Saying skateboard trucks. He said, like, such a tool. I went one after you. I had to say that so people who aren't in the game like I am know what I'm talking about.

What are the pieces of a skateboard truck? The bearings. No. Are you wrong? Give it to me. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. The bearing that my answer will have on this. conversation. Give me one part of a truck. One part of a truck. Metal. No, that doesn't.

Maybe. Oh, wait, wait. Give you one part of the truck? One part of a truck. Screws. No. Technically correct. They're not screws.

They're not part of the truck. But they're not part of the truck. They're a separate piece. First of all, they're not screws. They're bolts. They're bolts and they're separate. Okay, Axel. You're right.

Axel, kingpin, base plate, bushings. Also, sorry, the segment of skateboard culture that I come from? Why are you holding your shirt all tight? Because I'm opening it up. Because I'm burying my heart. Because I'm bearing my heart. You're like, India jumps in the temple of dinner.

No, India. Oh, don't Shibai, hold up Shibai, hold on him. I just rip your heart out. I'm super into skateboarding and I love trucks best. I love trucks. I just love trucks best. Oh.

Get him. On the Reddit, get him. Get him on the Reddit. Get him on the Reddit. Get him on the Reddit. Get him on the Reddick. Yeah, yeah. Which ones? skateboard truck

You sound like a stepdad who's barely hanging on Listen I'm gonna get Rogers Some skateboard trucks And our relationship's gonna be just fine I had to say that's why amateurs Would know what I was talking about dude I got into skateboarding through trucks

I just like trucks first And I was like what else is this a part of Other than what River and I may have said earlier Name a truck brand We said independent and destructo earlier Yeah Just looking at me I'm trying to scope your

I'm never going to wear a truck brand Oh you've never worn an independent Independence they're Nazis so you can't do that anymore And Are they just use the iron crowd They're not the brand You think they will use iron cross They're not in your Nazi

Why are you caping for There are people on both sides Very fine Left and right side of the skateboard I've never seen you on your heels like this. I'm excited that you picked it. I'm on the balls of my feet right now, baby. I feel like I'm seeing a teacher out of school.

It's fucked up. It would have been so boring if one of us picked it. This is great. I'm navigating this perfectly. I'm one step ahead. I'm one step ahead of the bread line. You got your bushings locked in, you're weaving. You're not no wheel. You didn't say Axel. But Thunder's like the go-to truck brand for me because that's through Deluxe. That's what I was just going to say. I was going to say they're like part of Deluxe. Shout out to Andy Pitts. A guy who

knows I love trucks. Something that we connect on. When he and I get together, not when we're hanging out with you because you tend to dominate conversation. When it's just me and Pitts, dude, we get down to truck talk. It's trying to truck talk.

Pitts and I get down to truck talk. Pitts and I'll go out for a delicious Turkish meal. And we'll just talk about trucks the entire time, dude. Trucks and delights. You are so funny, and I love you so much. I love you so excited that we're friends. I am too. Man.

Yeah. I officiated my wedding. I did. Yeah. Look at this. I did. You know what was there? Food truck.

And I'm willing to let you... What do you mean willing? That's got truck in the name. What are you talking about? I'm willing to let you get a hold of these skateboard trucks for a one-for-one swap for food trucks right now. Whoa. Back alley deals. Can you talk to me in round three?

All right. We'll see what happens then. With my second pick. Because it is a serpentine draft. I'm taking Optimus Prime. Yeah. Yeah. That was on my list.

One of the great trucks. Uh... one of the great humanoid trucks. You just go to a flying jay with your Optimus Prime suit on. What's up? You sit down at the diner. Let me get a chicken fried steak. You're just dressed talking like Optimus Prime to a bunch of long haul truckers.

What are you hauling? Do you have Viagra in there? Do you say you have Viagra in there? that you truck would come up to his prime saying that's how that's how the truck stays come on come on there's a speed trap about 24 miles up route i-a-a-a-a-a-a-smoking how are the showers in here they have satellite television you really did you guys like transformers or what all right i'm gonna take off I'll go to an airport

dressed like Starscream Is Starscream a Decepticon? Which way to the runway? That's Starscream, right? I've maxed out my transformer knowledge. I feel like the Decepticons didn't get a lot

of differentiation between their voices. No, a lot of them stand up like that. Yeah, Optimus Prime rules, dude. Yeah, dude. The toy, the Optimus Prime toy. Do you have it? Coveted. You spoiled fucking bro.

I didn't have it. I was going to get mad. I had, I, listen, I, like, definitely grew up middle to upper middle class. Did you have a power wheels? No. And now, now that I, well, no. What's the point to be an upper class? I don't know.

See, this is where I'm like, was I upper middle class? I might have been like, I think I was like the upper side of middle class. I don't think I was upper middle. No, I always lose where. I know everyone who says their upper middle class says that. But, like, I didn't have a power wheels. And I didn't have an optimist prom to a class. Did you have a G.I. Joe General?

No. Oh, wait. Was this the big wide one? The big one. Yes, but it was... God. That's what I know. All I wanted was the general.

All I wanted was the general. It was so big. It was like this big. That's the one. He was at my house all the time. The only transformer I had... This will tell you what class I was in. The only transformer I had was a cassette tape.

I think it might have been a go-bought. I was going to say I had a go-bod. I was doing from cassette tape. to robot. Yeah, I had a lot of shit, but the only transformer that I ever had was a space shuttle transformer from Wendy's.

Oh, yeah. God, I used to bring them over to sleepovers and they're like, so these aren't real transformers. Yeah, exactly. You're going to have to go in the bathroom. That's right. Yeah.

Which is weird for a trans guy. We'll be out here with a battery. That doesn't count. Holy cow. You know, sometimes you wait a while to make that joke. Yeah, it really pays off. Yeah, that was huge. I waited a lot.

You dumped it, though. Like some jelly beans in the back of your fucking shirt. I was like, that's great. This is fun. That's great. Optimus Prime. Yeah. Sean, your second pick.

El Camino? Fuck, okay. All right, what are we working with? Is it? We got colors, we got ears, we got a cap, what are we doing? I don't know, tan, I'm going tan. I like a tan, I want some, I want some nice rims. Huh?

He just said, what year? Like, first of all, the rage that I'm feeling on the inside. Is it a car? Like a time traveler. Well, look at the definition of a truck, because a truck, it's a, I get it. A truck. Wikipedia defines the Chevrolet El Camino as a coop utility. Wikipedia will tell you, Kenny,

Login sings fucking... A C-U-V? When a man loves a woman. I couldn't think of a song that Kenny Logging's good and sing. You need to tell me that if I look it up. You need the definition of a truck. Good looking that guy.

I feel like Al Camino is a truck. Definition of a truck is... It's got a full bag. Because I looked it up today. It's like something that's used to transport stuff, not people. So it's like used to transport things that aren't people. So you can't take a bus as a truck.

People in the back of that. Yeah, that's the whole point. As dangerous as possible. they transfer people. Oh, you're like a cargo plane? Cargo plane. What are you doing? You're going to embarrass yourself here.

I can't. I wasn't going to say a cargo plane. Isaac, what do you think? It's a wheelbarrow a truck? I don't think I'm an authority on the classification of trucks here. Yeah. I feel I vote El Camino is a truck. What if I fill out of my mouth of marbles so as to bring them from one house to another?

Am I a truck? You're a cuck. So what's the argument that it has a bed? I have nipples. The full bed makes it a truck. Yeah, full open bed. All right. All right.

All right. Yeah. For the purposes of this conversation. I mean, we were getting into it the hand truck thing. So, yeah, a wheel wheel wheel wheel. Sure, sure. It is a truck. Like a diarrhea colored El Camino.

Okay. Like brown. Like chocolate milk. Why use the metallic? What have you been eating that gave you diarrhea? That's a very common elk. That's a common El Camino color though. It is.

Are you talking about like the chocolate milk and the dark brown bottom? No, I was thinking. That's my, that's my band. This is getting really sexy. Chocolate, chocolate milk in the dark brown bottom. You can sell out the lab tonight. If you tweeted that right, David Bory is chocolate milk in the dark brown bottom. If we lost touch with you for a few years somehow, and then it was like, you and David won a Tony Award?

He wrote a play called Chocolate Milk in the Dark Brown Bottom, and apparently it's great. Oh, man. It knocked oh, Mario. Oh, Mary was great. I haven't seen it yet. I had to see it. That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I don't go to the city much.

Not that. Not a lot of these trucks in the driveway. Now with my blue truck and my El Camino sitting in the driveway. How suave is it to name something the El Camino? I mean, what does Camino mean? It's Road. Right, the way? The way.

The way. Yeah. But it also means road. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty ice. We don't need roads. Cormac McCarthy's El Camino. We're going, we don't need Camino.

We're going, we don't need Camino. You know, just a little bit of Spanish. No necessitamos Caminos. Maybe. I got the Spanglish version of Back to the Future. You don't want to watch? It stars Christopher Yoid. That's great.

Christopher Yoid is perfect. Yo Canosco, who wins the world's tears? All right. I just wanted to say with the El Camino's, I like the ones in the 80s because I like those box Chevy fronts. Yeah, those lines are. Yeah. It's a beautiful miracle.

Like the 70 ones are, the 70s and the lower ones are cool, but those 80s ones are like. So sick. Yeah, I just, I love that. My neighbor had like a, like a, it's not my color combo, but when I see in El Camino, it's what I see. It was like a slate, like a very light blue, metallic blue with a white cat.

Oh my gosh. It was like a little house. You know what I mean? Like just a little Midwestern house on the creek. They have the tonneau cover? It's just so smooth, man. The lines are perfect on it.

These two had a few beverages, I want to say two months ago, and almost Bonnell Camino jointly. I was trying to get into a half a guy out of a couple. It's like we can get it for like $16,000. And you need a car. Yeah. If you, if we go have Sananel Camino and you just give me rides from your house to here until we're even, you can just have it.

How many rides is? That's a lot of rides. Probably a year. Six months a year. Done. These rides are expensive. They are so expensive. It's like 60 bucks.

Is it really? Yeah. You got to get the robot. I'll get the robot on the way home. I like old man, mael you? Listen. No, if, if you want me to drive you, I will do that. No. I will drive. I'll pick you up from the airport.

This is a promise. I would. We can split a car back home because I'm going that way. We sure will. This is not. Let's, we're talking about. Yeah. It's me.

Amazing pick. I got the best list so far. So I'm coming in with a, I've got my list that I came in with and I'm coming in with an audible right now. Oh. This is what this is where. My draft, my draft approach has changed. This is how you win the Super Bowl. My draft strategy has changed.

I'm going with Bigfoot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even.

I think of that genre. I'm getting fucked over here. Oh, my list. I know first I take skateboard trucks. And Rio's over here to take a big foot. You're just losing stock. That was my miss. Back to back. What do I think?

Arthur just woke up like, wait, is my dad a dork? I bet he just sat up in bed. What do you call skateboard trucks? Well, how do you differentiate during this podcast? I don't have to say skateboard. You have to say skateboard trucks. Can I say? If I said, I took trucks and trucks and then I took more trucks.

This is sour grapes, right here. This is sour grapes. You're being a negative Nelly I'd rather you be a Nelly for Dotto, dude Positive and full of life and Canadian I am like a bird Go ahead Bigfoot is like the

Most like American looking monster truck Uh huh Blue saw Bigfoot do it back blue Yeah It's just a big ass blue truck Is Hulk Hogan before you found out Hulk Hogan said and believed all that stuff

You know what I mean? Yeah It's like yeah That was a time. There was a time when we were all innocent young children. And we were like, whoa, big truck. Whoa, Hulk Hogan. You know what I mean?

I am a real American. Fife a load rights of every man. Don't go to Bigfoot Twitter again. He was just a guy from Florida named Terry. There was one power slam he couldn't kick his way out of. The white power slam. Oh, white power. Okay, I will say, just a little side note to the Bigfoot.

My, my ex-wife, we're friends now. I just want to say that. Are you guys doing a show together? Something's brewing, right? I don't know what it's going to be. She was also, they are also very into monster trucks. Yeah. I don't know if that's still happening, but they were when we were together.

And so they had collections of monster trucks and they had, you know, the, it's not a remote, it's just like a battery-operated car. You tell me Cameron Esposito is a collection of monster trucks? They did. I did, yeah. I don't know if they said. I don't know if made it to this iteration, you know. You think you know somebody. I know. Get them on the heart. So they had this like battery operated, you know, like the thing where you just press a button and it does the stuff. Yeah. And so they had one of those. And when we moved here, we just, we both packed our cars just full of our stuff. Yeah. And drove two cars. And she was like, the truck keeps going off. Because, like, it was packed in the back And it would just go like, Bram,

Bambram! Big foot! I don't get you through a drive. It's incredible. It's like somewhere in Utah. Big four. And we had a little walkie-talkies because it's like you want to talk to each other

but you don't... Calling is, it's like so when you're long-haul trucking. You know, I get why it's like breaker, breaker. Because like you don't want to dial the thing, you know, the phone, whatever. So we were like, talking on walkie talkies about this big foot going off. It was really funny.

I can't believe we haven't invested in one there. Come back. Yeah. We should get into it. Over. You got your ears on. One of those talkabouts. The monoling. Yeah. Yeah. Those things work good. Those yellow ones? Yeah. I got that. I've done this. I have them at high planes.

They got them. The door staff. Don't they got them? No, we should have them. What's your 20 over? I'm in some green room. Yeah, of course you think we should. great idea. Yes. Yes. This is why I fucking love working with you, man. Absolutely. I love this.

Motorola walkie-talkies? Yeah, four of them. Four of these bad boys. We'll all get on the same channel. Oh, wait. I'm not counting. I was counting me. Are you coming to Denver for this? All right. So these are Motorola Solutions, portable FRA. I wonder if I should like get into, hold on. You guys keep talking. Yeah, you got to do some research. Okay. Okay. This is such a specific. time. This is shout

out to Aurora, Colorado. 2000, I'd say 3 to 7. This was the cool guy truck. You would hear people like, do you remember the time period where people were known by their car? Oh yeah. Where you'd be like, oh, Rick with the CRX.

Yeah. I'm taking a 2001 Ford F150 Lightning. The street racing one. Yeah, I remember that. With like the grill was different and it had the stepouts and everything. Like, and it It was like, you rarely ever even saw them. Never saw anybody drive fast in one.

Yeah, well, yeah. No, they were like cruisers. But, like, notoriously thought they were fast cars. Of course, yeah. Like, I thought they were so. Well, when it's called lightning. It's a lightning. It's a lightning.

Yeah. They have one, what's his name, Hector, I think, in the first Fast and the Furious drives one? Yeah, these are low. They're low. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they're low. It reminds me of, like, do you remember the Reebok asphalts? Yes.

Like, that's exactly what came to my mind. It's like that of trucks. It was like, good for the asphalt. Because if you look at it, too, it doesn't look. It does look fast. It looks fast, but why would a pickup truck be fast? Right. Why would you want?

So then if you really need to get your shit. Yeah, yeah. I got to drop this. I really need to get these rocks. The second highest rated one, according to popular mechanics, is only, it's like, it's going to set us back about 240 for four of them. That does not seem crazy. Oh, I feel like that's steel at twice the lights. Yeah.

Can we get it taken out of the budget? Yes. I'm going to charge it to... How are they going after Denver? The walkie-talkies? Yeah. Why, do you want them? I don't get my hands on any.

Do they work and can they work from here to Portland? No. It's a range on those of our boys. We're going to need them at live shows. We're going to... I'll get them. I'm in. What have I ever said no to anything?

All right now. But you guys have to keep talking to in the podcast. I'm buying this. Okay. So then so then the Ford Lightning, the street version that's then what they used to put their

fully electric model out because that's a Ford Lightning too is it? Yeah yeah The one that can charge your house or whatever Yeah Yeah yeah

I like that they picked it back up Yeah yeah I love that they do that Yeah that's way cool Is it the same body style? I don't know Because it's got that weird It's giant

Yeah it's huge It's got that weird rounded like Everything's kind of rounded on it They're kind of like that dog you show that I remember those. Yeah.

I mean, the new ones, no, it's like that giant flat, crazy, super dangerous thing. Those bulldogs that sit real long? They have that weird step on the side.

Yeah, they have the, it was like, it was like, it was like what your manager at Best Buy time. Yes. Yeah,

yeah. That's exactly right. You know what I mean? Because it was like, at the time when you were like 17, you're like, that guy's got a lot of money because he made like $50,000 a year.

He's rich. Yeah, yeah, he's like a rich guy. It is exactly that. I also feel like, I feel like we're all of an age. It doesn't happen.

It doesn't seem like it happens that much. I can't tell. But like we were still of an age where like people our age would do stuff to their cars. Yeah. Like I knew I had so many friends who like made their system. Yeah. Made the box to put this. Wired it.

Yeah. Like all that kind of stuff. We're like. The blinkers wouldn't work because the energy was somehow being misfunneled to speaker. I know so many guys who fucked up a CRX. Oh yeah. Put their own tints on. Their bleak blinker so they go like

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Yeah, all kinds of the timing on it and stuff. And I think, I think the Ground effects does like. Ground effect. I saw a truck, I think it was yesterday. Just a big truck driving with green ground effects. What are you doing?

What are you doing? It's just nuts to me. I'm having a great time. I mean, it is like a precursor to like streaming because like you look at gamers and they just have ground effects in their room. Yeah. I mean, they're living in a world of ground.

effects. I can't lie. That looks dope to me. It doesn't sit. If I lived alone, I would, I would, I'd have a loser crib. I mean, I'd have, I'd have weird controller from my phone lights all over the place. A lot of reptiles. I'm like, maybe driving like a 1988, uh, Monty Carlo, you know?

Oh, man. With some ground effects. Hot pink ground effects. Can you imagine? I want cars from midnight club now. If you guys remember playing midnight club on the first X-Poll? Yeah. Well, you had your own.

music. I used to play Midnight Club, and there was this song by Rick James and this rapper named Bumpy Johnson from Chicago called On the Run, and I would just play Midnight Club and listen to On the Run over and over again. Hell yeah. Great summer. Didn't get anything done. Okay. Power play Bobby. His dogs, that's kind of what a Ford F-150 Lightning is out. Power Play Bobby. Oh, that guy. Yeah. Okay. So I got a street racer. Now I'm going to dip into luxury. Luxury truck. This is my, this is my, this is my yellowstone truck. Okay.

I'm taking a brand new Ford, maybe two, 350, King Ranch Edition. Shit. King, big boy. You're about to drop $250,000 on a truck? In this fake, in this fake world, I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a King Ranch. That's like, some of them are Dooley's, I think.

Yeah, yeah. Some of them are duly's and they're like, what kind of a battery put on that thing? did extend it like long long long bed like eight footbed yeah yeah yeah full out uh and it's just it's it's like in elizabeth in my in elizabeth like that was like a truck you heard about yeah yeah yeah like they'd be like that guy has a king range yeah yeah yeah yeah like my boss has a king ranch you know what i mean yeah it's uh yeah it's uh yeah it's stupid yeah with with the uh horseshoe on the on the on the interior yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't think it's i don't think it's even

more powerful than any other like get yourself into a super duty i don't think they are but They're big, dude. They are big. I've never been in one. That's a beef white. This might be what's in my neighborhood. Yeah. I bet.

The front is so big. The front is so big. And if you're on a ranch, fine. Yeah. Right. But if you're driving down Glendale. You live in a neighborhood that has a Mishland Star sushi restaurant in it. Yeah.

You don't need a Ford F-350. I don't think you need a king ranch in L.A. County. No. They probably try to back it into the driveway to do all the dickhead. It feels like it would be so much more hassle than, like... Oh, for sure. That's a truck for driving in a field. It seems like a nightmare to drive.

You ever been in one of those, though? It's a smooth ride. Yeah, you can't feel it. You're sitting high above everything. They're usually pretty plush interiors. I have one. I bought one. Yeah.

We're in it right now. You're so high above the other drivers. Yeah, you're way up there. So up there. Yeah. Crazy. Like straight up looking down on people. Um, yeah, figuratively and literally.

Let that sink in, dude. Isaac? I don't know how you get into it. It seems like a bitch. I think there's a step, right? And some of them have like those motorized steps, you know? Yeah. It's like, it's almost like an RV.

Yeah, yeah. It is. You know what I mean? It's like a RV. And then you get one of those and then you get an RV. Yeah. Yeah. You are a big haul trucking.

Yeah. So what's the difference? Yeah, there's none. Yeah. It's the same size. Either way you've got to get to Omaha by Tuesday. God damn right. That's right.

That's right. The permit's up. Get your nut. Get some. that go fast in you. We're going to time for your third. Okay, my third, I'm going to go, I'm going to go small because I am a small truck guy. I just love a compact small truck, and that's what I want, because it's L.A.

So I'm like, let's be real. I want a 1972 Chevy Love. Oh, wait a minute. I'm talking about. I got to look this up. I'm going to go with yellow on that one. Not a big, not a big yellow car guy, but they look great. Oh, look at that.

Let's see. In the Venice Beach, you'll see them all over the place. You know what it looks like? It almost looks like, it almost looks like a European truck. A hundred percent. Yeah. And there's like Japanese trucks now that look like that. That's cool.

It's so cool. Also, weirdly, there's a bunch of hot wheels ones. Yeah, oh yeah. This is a truck for having a sexy fun time at the beach. I mean, it's so good. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great pick. I think it's called, I think LUV is little utility vehicle.

Oh. Like, how badass and masculine is that to be like, my truck? It's a little utility. Utility vehicles. I'm big enough. That's right. I don't need the trucks help. It gets my short board where it needs to be.

I also love that the cab is so small. I saw a dude. I was driving behind a dude who was probably like a 91, 92 Toyota Carolla. Yeah. Two door. So you guys know the size. Absolutely. And this is a big guy.

I didn't see him standing up, but he, you know, his head was up at the ceiling. Yeah. Large man. And he was driving holding the oh shit bar on the other side. He was, like, holding the whole vehicle, you know? And, like, kind of, like, like, an inverse, like, speed motorcycle, you know? Yeah, just picking turns. Yeah, he's like, kind of leaning into it, you know.

That's what I would do with a Chevy look. If he needs to change lanes, just, huck! And it doesn't hold a whole lot. Like, like, what is that called when you grab the nose in the tail and you, like, hop? Cannonball. Yeah. Skateboard truck is right now. Skateboard truck.

This guy put a blower on it. Look. What's a blower? Dude, that's so sick. You know what I mean? Big one that comes out. Oh, like up the top? Yeah.

Yeah. I just made the noise. We're all turning it into six-year-olds. That's right. That was the point of all of it. Yeah, this is a good. That's the solid thing. That's right.

I also feel like I could, in a pinch, pick it up if I needed to. You know what I mean? That's a weird, fun feeling where you're like, I think I could pick up the front and. Oh, I thought you meant by it. You're talking like literally picking up. No, I mean, literally physically pick it up. Have you ever picked up a car just for, like, fun? Not, not yet.

A bunch of my friends. I did just get here, David. Okay, fair. That's fair? I'm working my way up to you, babe. Okay, you got to work. You got to use it to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We looked at a geometro at a barbecue one time. It was awesome. Yeah. It was awesome. There's a picture of it somewhere. We didn't even do anything. We just like, at first we did it. And then we had it on the back and we took a picture of like everybody underneath.

Because they're just so little. Everidge of so little. Just because it's there. Yeah. Hell yeah. How much do you think that weighs? Man, I bet it can't be more than like a thousand. Uh-huh.

Like it was, because it was like... You think it's a ton? Nah, maybe not. How much weight could you pick? Could you pick up like 300 pounds? Yeah. Lift it up for sure. Really?

Yeah. Jesus. It says on here 670 pounds. I was going to say it's not even 700. It wasn't like tough. Yeah, yeah. Like what can you deadlift? Do you know?

I don't deadlift. You don't deadlift. I just leg press. But, like, what do you think you could deadlift if you... I don't know, probably like 400 or something. Yeah, I think easily. Yeah, you could absolutely deadlift that car. You should get in one of those.

They have those bars because, like, I don't like deadlifting the straight bar. A hex bar. Hex bar. Yeah. That's what our boy Phil used to do in high school, the hex bar. I like a hex bar. You know, what I've done, and I'm not trying to convince you guys to do deadlifts. I struggled with deadlifts.

And then, well, I use Arnold's pump club. And it's great. But I was training the top. So like a rack pull. Okay. So instead of doing the deadlift from the ground, it's like essentially the top of an RDL. Oh. And I trained that back up.

And I built the top of the deadlift. And then I went back down to the deadlift and I could do it. Because it really got my glutes into it more than I could all the way from the ground. Right. Right. Right. And I was also supplementing that with like dumbbell RDLs and stuff in between. Right, right. And then I got into deadlifting. I'm like, oh, holy shit. Do you do those Arnold presses? Like the full turn?

Do you like that? I do, yeah. I don't know. It feels weird. This is a whole other course. I think you want to go grab some coffee? I don't go to a gym with a marble floor, dude. Should I go grab some coffee then?

Get the fuck out of here. I'll make another Picardy drink. Wow, you said. They only got Picardy in there. It's ridiculous. They have other stuff. You just don't like Jen. My stomach turned when you said that word.

That's nari. You know a kid? I think I knew that. I lost to have known that. Ian, can we take a break? We're going to take it on the break. This episode of All Fantasy, everything is brought to you by Factor. I'm trying to eat healthier.

We all are. And one of the hardest things to do for me is cook. I know some people enjoy it if you do more power to you. I love it. But you know what no one's ever thought. Holy cow, I love having dishes at the end of the night. You know you didn't think that. If you said you did, you're lying.

whoever's with you, you're lying to them. Factor keeps it healthy. They keep it easy. They keep it quick. So you have time to do all that holiday shopping. Go look at Halloween lights. Go look at decoration. Go and walks.

Go to the mall. You don't need to spend all that time shopping for groceries. This helps you free up time. You still get to eat well. And they got a wide selection right now. They got all the meal options you're going to need. They got seafood choices. You know, you know,

take it or miss seafood. But seafood in general, I know you guys love it. They got salmon, shrimp. no extra costs. They're not going to gouge you for it. It's the same price as anything else. Support your wellness goals. It's on our mind right now. So GLP1 friendly meals. They got Mediterranean diet options packed with procein for it. Procene protein for you. And they got the global flavors, which was going to be the name of my rap group, but what do you do? They took it first. But they have Asian-inspired meals. They got bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand,

and more. They have so many options for you. It's so easy. It looks cool in the fridge. They got them smoothies that come with it or the juices. I always call them smoothies, but I guess they're more juices. But I just, I love it to pieces. They got, they got greens in there. They keep your boy healthy. Eat smart at factormeals.com slash all fantasy 50 off. And use code all fantasy 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.

Plus free breakfast for one year. That's code all fantasy 50 off at factor meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. This episode of All Fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Draft Kings. You know why? Because football is back. If you're not paying attention, start paying attention. It's so fun. Especially with Draft Kings helping you out making the games interesting. You can white knuckle your

armchair because you're so excited. You're so invested. You could win big. And it's your big shot at big wins. With Draft Kings pick six, the official daily fantasy partner of the NFL, your game day instincts, score you real money, actual money, and it can get there fast. Here's how you do it. You just pick more or less on two or more player stats from breakout rookies to elite QBs. You unlock the upside every snap rings. It's because it's, you know, every play is new. It's fun to watch if you got something on the line. And the better your calls, the bigger your payout's going to be. I, you know, Hard Knocks is back. So I'm a Bill's fan this year. Stop, stop. Stop yelling at me. I like Hard Knox and I like who I like. Josh Allen all day, baby. I just go in. I pick as

many bills players as I feel like picking. And if they do better, then I win. If they do worse, then I don't win. Simple as that. And here's the kickoff bonus. New Draft Kings customers get $50 in bonus picks with just a $5 entry on your first pick set. This season, play your player instincts. Download the Draft Kings pick six app now and use code AFE. That's code AFE. Play just $5 and get $50 in pick six bonus picks. Make the call. Ride the upside in partnership with Graft Kings, pick six, the crown is yours. Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-77-7-77 or visit CCPg.G.org and Connecticut must be 18 plus age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick six not available everywhere,

including New York and Ontario, void where prohibited, one per new customer, bonus awarded as non-withdrawable pick six bonus picks that expire in 14 days, limited time offers, see terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash promos. And we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. We are back of our own free will. Welcome back to Nospheratus. We are going to talk about Taylor Swift's new album.

Real quick. Hey, Siri, play Butterfly by Crazy Town. Don't do that, though. That is a funny bit. It works. I think it's a very funny bit. So I was in San Diego last weekend. and I tried to butterfly the San Diego bar

and they dug it. Yeah. They dug it. That far where none of us were at? It happened up. And my model girlfriend from Germany was there. Don't tell Lauren because I'm married. Laura's cool with it.

Don't ask her. It was some guy on his phone and I was like, Butterfly and he's like, yeah, I play Butterfly. He was already in. And then he played Holy Diver. It was tight. Oh, shit. That's on rules.

Because you can see his stripes, but you know he's clean. Yeah, you can. Don't you see what I mean? Right. Right the tiger. Pretty good. Yeah, you got a good deal on you. I listened to Butterfly for the first time like a week ago because I got curious about it.

Did you get a boner? I did not like the song. I don't understand. It's not a good song. It's not a good song at all. But it's fun to Butterfly the bar. Is it? Yes.

For whom? For me? What do I give a shit about? I have a good time. No, you thought everybody was going to carry you out that first time? He was like, he was like, dude, it's about to go fucking crazy. That's probably almost exactly what I sound like. Keeping all down like, dude, I don't want to wreck the surprise, but it's going to go nuts in here.

You know, now this will happen to the past. I was going to say, you have to sing at a karaoke. I don't know about all that. It's a strong word. I don't know about all that. Have to. The singer could sing it. I don't think I will.

It's not a sing. It's a rap. It's a rap. It's barely a... I don't love calling it that. It's not a rap. Well, you have a week to learn it. And also, Sean, I'm from Manhattan Beach, which is right next to Hermosa, where you play butterfly.

Hermosa is not a butterfly type of town. Yes, it is. No, it's not. So is Manhattan. No one in Hermosa's loving got me sprung with their tongue ring? I don't... Hermosa literally means, like, beautiful. You were not at this bar.

This bar... Well, that doesn't mean anything. Yeah. You know it was a butterfly. bar. They weren't feeling butterfly right then. David, David, how you're dead You're right. You're right. I was on heels of my feet. It was

I would have guessed it to be a butterfly boy. It looked like it was going to go nuts. Yeah, like somebody was going to walk in and go like, this is my kind of place. Are you playing butterfly? Somebody down like it was Bowdo. Oh, yeah. Like a cheese salad. It's been laid out.

Michael Bolton was playing. Can't wake up! It was that kind of bar. Yeah. Are you playing butterfly? My crazy doll Yeah, oh yeah Oh yeah

Man, I remember thinking That song It was so heavy When it came out to me Papa Roach? Yeah Oh, yeah Oh

And then I hear it now And I'm like I don't think this makes Do you think that got played a lot In the football locker room In Beaverton, Oregon? Last resort What's their

Do you guys play Let the bodies hit the floor That was our locker room John and Pool baby So much Papa Roach has a ballad That's actually really good Do you know what it?

It's scars, I think Our scars remind us That the past is real Know that song? No, it's a good one This happened with another song Where you're like, you know this and I didn't Was that the Creed song?

Maybe. Can I go? Yeah, you can go. Fire truck. Great pig. Fire twerk. I'm always excited. Who doesn't like a fire drug?

Stoked every time. Holy cow, they're so big. There's a guy on the back. Yeah. Look at all those hunks. That's crazy. Well, there's a lady. Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes there is a dog. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes they do have a dog. A mean-ass Dalmatian. I like how they leave their pants next to it. Yeah. Like they've been vaporized or something. Yeah.

And they just jump into the pants. Whenever it's kind of. I wish I could do that with my lady's car. It's going to save us time. I just leave the house in my underwear. The pants are already there. That's right. Just have them out by the car.

It takes me 15 minutes to get to work. I leave with 16 minutes. All right. I go out. I pull my pants on. I wake up 16 minutes before. What was I going to say? Something great.

Yeah, I bet it was... Absolutely. The best thing you were ever going to say. Probably glad I didn't hear it. The one with the hinge in it where the person has to drive on the back? What do they call it? The ladder? No, it's the...

The wheel has a name. It's the axle or the base plate or the maybe the bushings or the king pins. We're not talking about skateboard trucks. We're talking about fire trucks. and do you see why I go that fast on a skateboard I call mine fire trucks because I'm flying bro

When I was a kid I called them fucks and I wasn't trying to be funny Of course I was just like that's How much of a kid Like one two

Okay back in the day You were in a middle schooler Four Sixteen I bet Bear loved that Bear loved that Everybody showed all his friends Look at this

What's that What's that Fuck Artie's starting to like starting to explore talking. Oh, that's exciting. Oh, it's called a tiller. What's he say?

Gat. Okay. Why some fire engines have two drivers at the wheel. Max's first word was dog or duck. We don't really know. Yeah. Because she would just, she'd hear a dog barking or see a duck, but it sounded the exact same.

Yeah. Was she watching, I'm trying to think this four or five years ago. Was she watching like a... Paw Patrol? I'm trying to ask about Oregon Ducks. Oh. And you mean in my man cave, dude? Hey, Laura, Laura, Laura, I want a man cave.

My uncle brought, bro. Okay, so we're at my uncle's crib years ago for Christmas. And we're having beers. And I was like, do you have any like, you know, alcohol? And he's like, let's go to the man cave. We go down there and he gets this bottle of coconut, coconut rum, like coconut peccardi rum. You know that mixer stuff? And he was handed it to me like it was like a leather belt with his pattern.

Van Winkle. Pepper's on it. I know what it's called now. Whatever I called it that last episode. It was crazy. I'm like, this is what, I mean,

I'll drink it. I'm not going to get too bad. You're a bit of a Bacardi man. You're drinking Bacardi right now. I'm here. That's all they got. Some new alcohol. I have so much booze at my house

that I'm never going to drink. We could just bring it here and keep it on, keep it in store for you. You could bring it here. I'll bring it here. Yeah, bring it here. Sorry.

I mean, I could come over and take it, but Dana would, you just came over for this. Mikewell's already here? She wouldn't care. I guess I'll see Artie if he's around. Hello.

All right, I'm leaving. All right, can I take a dump real quick? Okay, time for my third pick. I'm going to take a 1990. I know you already took a Ford F150. This is a my specifically. My. Your truck.

Black. I want to say 1996 Ford F-150 that I drove in high school. Oh, nice. Like the kind of rounded front bumper. Yeah, a little bit rounded front. It kind of looks like a lightning, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I like 2000. I like all the F-150s. I like the way they all, I like the ones now. I like, I like the way they're like, this would have been like 2001, 2002. Yeah. We've talked about it, but how long did you have this truck? Like a year and a half?

Okay. Maybe two years. Were you the truck guy? Like would you, would you drive people around in the back? people would hop in the back I wasn't really like a truck guy I mean I was like so Beaverton

just in case you're listening you don't know is a suburb but it's like the last suburb before the country yeah it goes to Hillsborough

and Forest Grove yeah and like Parker Colorado and like so there were a lot of people who were like truck people and there were like a lot of people who were sort of like

country coded a little bit so there were a lot of trial I wasn't at all I just had a truck um so there were a lot of trucks, but this was mine, and I loved it. I used to drive it through parks.

Yeah, well, yeah. You're a kid with a truck. I was like, fuck, yeah. It wasn't four-wheel drive at all. It was an automatic two-wheel drive. I drove my Ford. I drove my Ford probe through truck. Yeah, you just drive through.

Okay, so you guys did this, too. That was like a thing when everybody turned 16. Everybody had like a four-wheeling, like, to, like, everybody, I got luck in the hubs. Yes, yeah. And they were at, like, some unfinished housing development. Just trying to jump shit Mudden? Did you guys go mudd in? Oh, yeah.

We would go mudden at Gnome's hole. Big Torque Daddy. Big Torque Daddy would take his blazer out there and we'd go muddden. It was sick, dude. We had trash day. That sounds like a light brown like chocolate bottle. Like once a month, everyone in Sioux Falls

would like leave all their big trash on the curb and it would get picked up for free. So like toilets and microwaves and stuff. So we'd pile it into Tori's blazer and we'd go, we'd tied a toilet up to his blazer and just drove around a field one time. Yes. It was sick.

He worked in a movie theater, so he would get the cutouts, like the big, like, you know, Fast and Furious Aquaman or whatever. He'd get the cutouts and they'd just throw them away. So we're like, we'll just take them and run them over. So we just set up these cutouts in a big field and just smash them. Incredible. It was the best. And that's what we did instead of like get into drugs for real. Sure.

Yeah. So there's really not that much harm in that. Or like get into fascism. Right. Yeah. It was us being. And then we'd go home. We're like tired from, you know, stealing soda and running shit over all night.

Yeah, yeah. I don't really have time to worry about politics right now. We're into smashism. You're on fire. Officially. Christopher Yoid and smashism. Holy cow. And you're not even talking to the fucking with the band.

What was it? Chocolate. Chottom? What was it? Dark, light chop in the chocolate bottoms? Milk chocolate and the dark chocolate bottom. Light brown in the milk chocolate bottom? Whatever that was.

Whatever it was, it was good. Milky chocolate. it back. Milky chocolate. Milky chocktop in the old smoky. Hey, what's happening? Coming to Yamava, casino. Can I get a name for the reservation?

Yeah, milky chocktop. Say the whole thing. Say the whole thing when you call me. Milcus chock top. Milkis milky chocktop. With my fourth pick. A lot of people owe me money. I'm going to stay in the Ford Land.

And I'm going to take the aforementioned Ford Ranger. Yeah, that's a cool car. It's like just a cool little truck, man. 95. Okay, yeah. Literally the year I had on mine. There is one in my neighborhood. 97.

Every time I see it, I look at it with such. Not a end because I'm like, I'm not in a point in my life where I can have, it would not make any sense. You're also not a car guy. I'm not a car guy. I've never really cared. I've never really cared. But like those I see and I'm like, that's pretty sick. Like a little.

You think you'll get one at some point? Huh? You think he'll get a truck at some point? Not if I keep. living in L.A. It just wouldn't really make sense. A Ranger is the closest one you could get to make sense. I mean, there's another one that I don't want to say another classic

small truck. Yeah. But like, yeah, Ranger is like... It would make sense for L.A. I don't think it's crazy gas. If we ever had a situation where like... I lived on a bigger piece of land. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Where like, because we would need at that point,

I guess you'd only have to have two cars. You'd have to have your not Ford Ranger and then your Ford Ranger. Whatever's not the Ford Ranger. What car are you going to drive to go fix the fence. Ford Ranger. Okay. Yeah.

Not my wife's, uh, Prius. Now I have a Kia, my Kia might as well be, no, that doesn't make sense. It's a sportage. It's a sportage. Rocking a sportage.

Uh, Ford Ranger, Sean, time for you a fourth thing. Uh, cement truck. Those are cool. Oh, yeah. They don't, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keeping the cement.

It's great sound. Yeah, keeping it all wet so we can make your skate spots for your skateboard trucks. Yeah. Yeah. Keeping it all way. Make your natural quarterpipes. I skate nature. The way you said that.

That's so funny. I did that. That would make me think you were like an amazing skateboard. I skate nature. I don't need parks. I go to the woods. So you got like off-road wheels on your trucks? No.

You still have that board? Yeah. No, I do. Donuts on that thing? I take it to the woods and I skate nature. And I skate trees and I skate branches. And I skate rivers. And I skate ponds and cree.

There's a like a little sketch in that. mouse, skateboard video on mouse, where Rick Howard goes through the... You don't have to tell me, he goes through the what's seen. Rick Howard. Mouse. It's a mouse video, I think. You said it was the... It's a girl video.

Girl video. It's mouse. I'm sorry to do that. I skate frozen lakes in the winter. Who doesn't? And wet lakes in the summer. I'll skate it all, dude. Wakeboarding? No. No, skateboarding.

Thank you. I just like how they move Max is really enamored with them right now So yeah That's fun People of Max's skateboarding level Would like yeah that would be That's good

Because you need to start somewhere Hold up bro You talk shit on my seed I can't have that Outside brother My seed Our buddy Lance would always call You'd be like

Oh I gotta go scoop my seed And we're like Come on just don't say that He was real just say Jamie he would say like bless me with a dollar he'd be like hey bless me with a dollar for a mountain dew that's funny that kind of well he wasn't kidding though it is funny but he wasn't kidding I'd be like Lance I'll buy you a mountain dew yeah I'm 16 you're 24 he was much older you know skateboarding well you both of you know skateboarding does that like you just you hang out I'd be 15 hanging out with 32 year old sometimes

I won't skate with someone unless yeah little key dangerous figure earner well good luck You got a lot of looking. Everyone I skate with is like C-suite or higher. I don't know what that means. Yeah, of course. Oh, see, like in the- That's probably why you don't see me skating, dude. River time for me.

The silence. I hate his guts. Oh, man. Okay. Is it me? Yeah. Okay. All right.

So I'll do. Four. Four. I'll do my 1983 Ford F-150 Yeah Or my F-150 in Yeah

That's my grill That's the one I grew up in Also it's It seems like we're Ford boys In here Weirdly it's gone Ford heavy Did you guys have Any Ford dealers

With songs in your In your region No A lot of graphics God I bet we did I'm trying to remember We had a good one We had Dealing Doug

We had Kids Auto Kids Auto But that wasn't Ford There's a one in Oregon right now. It's something, something for just what the... God, dang it. How's it go? I know we did. This isn't Ford, but it's Dodge, but we went to school with a kid. Ted Tufty Dodge. His dad owned a Dodge dealership. It was Ted Tufty Dodd, and we went to

school with Ted Tufty Jr. So that was always interesting. That's the breakout. Yeah. That was stupid boring. You actually could cut that out. Yeah, I'm trying to find the actual song because it's fucking I love I love that like car dealers were local celebrities yeah but for influencers is Bob Lanfier still that's kind of

what I was just trying to say Dick Hannah's one during July you can own America's best-selling small car for next oh yeah they can escort two door four door five door or wagon they're quangling in the back safety and all this equipment right now month's

a five door I didn't know they had fun holes that's on sale They didn't five and page us 172 a month. July is escort sale month at Molynex, the number one Ford retailer in the USA. Oh, they didn't sing the song. Mumlax? Mullinax.

Oh, Mullinax. He goes, I got a Ford on my mind, mine, mine. Ed Mullinax is a friend of mine. That's how the song goes. You think Ed wrote that? Oh, absolutely. He threw that down. Damn.

Yeah, we have up and Portland. We have Dick Hanna. He's like a popular car dealer. Absolutely. Bob Ampheres? Bob Lamper is to let it? Yeah. You know who was big in Denver was John Elway's Auto Nation.

Oh, yeah. Jamie Lillard has some dealerships now. Is it like they just, they buy the name, right? It's not like he owns them. Russell Westbrook has some in L.A. That's where Isaac, he buys his groceries from there. He likes to work for Russell Westbrook so much. For sure.

So, yeah, that's the truck. That was like an ancestral truck for me. That truck is awesome. So the one I grew up in was at one point my great grandfather's truck that then went to my grandfather that then went to my dad. They can't just make a truck that looks like that again? I know. That's what I'm saying.

What's going on? They could, but they won't. Because they're woke. It's fine. That's how I know my life is out of luck, fool. We had a red one, we had a silver one. I guess they won't. He got repainted a bunch of times.

Hell yeah. Because my dad was, or my grandfather was a body guy. That's what he did. Oh, really? Yeah. He was a mechanic, but he also had an auto body shop. Did he have a shirt to say, hey, I'm a body guy? Hey, I'm a body guy.

Mechanics do it to the body That's not what mechanics do They do the engine That's what the shirt says all of that On the back that's a clarifies there Sorry, I just want to be funny I just kidding Come on down to River Butcher's

Autistic T-shirt shop They say a lot on the bag That's all times the front That's awesome No, we don't charge by the letter. My mom still thinks like she tries to keep her texts like really short

because she thinks she's getting charged by the letter. Oh, yeah. Interesting. And I'm just like my sweet, sweet mom. Okay. Okay. I remember that like, do I want more minutes or more text that I can do?

When I remember when minutes, I'm like, minutes are going away, dude. I don't need minutes. I need text. That's what I'm going to make my love. Yeah, once text came out, that was like, that became. the primary

dude my friends and I had a friend Beth and she drove stick shift and would text and would light a cigarette oh yeah drive stick shift and T9 text and not take her eyes off the road man I remember best driver because it was the clicks you didn't go crazy on T9 I know dude oh you didn't even have to look

you knew what you're it was incredible Isaac you know about T9 I do not I would do it at work I'd say it was my chocolate too you'll remember how to do it like what well yeah it's just C is three times on one one. I mean, it's easy. Yeah, yeah, it's easy.

But I used to be nice with it. I was nice. I was better. David, time of your fourth than final pick. I'm taking from fourth. So the one I found online just because I don't know the brands is the 2025 Stellar T-Mex. But I'm taking a full-on mechanics truck. Cherry-picker, compressor, generator, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tons of store, like the big huge working truck. Yeah, I love those. Those things are so cool. You could do anything. You could like, you're in that truck. If you have that truck, some food in a gun, you can do anything. Yeah, yeah, you're solid. Yeah, you can.

There's no apple that is beyond your reach. It's health care in a truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and the cherry picker on the back? Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to ride a cherry picker. Me too, it looks so fun. I just want to go up and come back down. Yeah.

I just want to control it. I want to be in a bucket. Yes. Yeah. Human-sized bucket Man-sized bucket. I want to be in a man-sized bucket. I also, it's my dream to be in a man-sized baby Bjorn.

You know, and then just ride in the world In a much taller man or a man the same height? Somewhat taller. I would be fine. I would be fine if my little toes are dragging on the ground. Okay. Think about, I did this. So like I'll tip my axe over and I'll let her walk on the ceiling.

Yeah. Imagine I wonder, would I be comfortable if there was something big enough to do that to me. I was sure there's a man who could do that. There's definitely something. There's somebody who could do. There's really strong people. I'm sure there are,

but like they'd have to be 11 feet tall in this scenario for me to, for it to be equal, you know, like an 11 foot tall linemen or something, if that could happen. Wait, yeah, yeah. Well, like, I know there's people that are strong enough to flip me over, but they're not, like I'm,

but we could also just make the ceiling. Way taller than max. Like, I'm twice the size of her. So I would need someone twice the size of me height included. So like a 12 foot tall person. Max is half a 5-11? Got your ass, dude.

Well, now I can't do anything. What am I supposed to say now? No, you're tall. Oh, man. No, you're tall. I'm going to go to Black Cat after this, be like, what's up? I'm tall. Yeah, I'll give you name for the reservation. Tall as hell, bro. No one didn't say Paul. Tall, Paul.

Paul, tall. the people's champ I just start calling myself Paul Tal I support it What's up this pow towel The Stellar Tea A workman's truck

And the final pick Okay I think I'm going to Close it out With I got all the big stuff I wanted And then the little stuff I got

Where do we stand on SUVs? I know. That was the question that I came in with. I think those get people around more than stuff. They also get stuff. They can't. But they don't have an old airily technique. Okay.

No open bed. I mean, we could do a bonus round of everybody. But this doesn't have an open bed, but it is a truck because Bigfoot got taken. Yeah. I got to take the grave dig. Yeah. Love it. Right before COVID, I went to Monster Trucks.

Had so much fun. Yeah. So do we. Wait, yeah. Do we go with this? No, we went up in Portland, but we went to a Red Robin, had some drinks. And then it was the trashiest night. You could add.

It's so sick. It's so loud. Is Red Robin trashy? I think to get drunk, I don't think you. I think if you're going to a bar, Red Robin's not the bar. You want to go. Yeah, that's fair. Any bars around here?

Has a Red Robin right over there. Or an Applebee's. Well, like, where I grew up, it was. Was that or Stanford's? Those were your two? Still have Stanford's up in Portland? They do. Maybe.

But I mean, you don't know though, because you're not an artist. No, you had bars in Beaverton. Is that like a Sherry? I guarantee they were bar. There had to have been bars,

like real ones. I don't know. It was like suburbs and like malls. The suburbs do not have bars. They don't really have like that. Like a king rins or something that's that's billed as a bar. I don't know what that is.

It's a big bowling alley, big house. You remember big else? It's like a big else. Red Robin is, you're saying the bowling alley is more of a bar than a red robin? Yes.

And we have a quorum. Yeah, I feel like some people go to the bowling alley bar to get late. I don't think a lot of people go to Red Robin to get late. Yeah. If you're going to a bowling alley bar to get late, man, what do you want to do tonight? Well, I'm horny.

So let's go to the bowling alley. I'm going to, I want to smoke sick. I'll tell you what I am. It's horny. So let's go to the bowling. Is that a place that smells like feet? I do think you could get laid at a bowling alley, though. Oh, 100%.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. Various ways. I think you ever look up? All the ways, I think. No. That a babe.

Remember time for your final pick? Oh, okay. Final pick. Since I moved it up. Okay, so I'm going to go, this is a fun one for me. I'm going to go with a 1984 modified FLA tow truck. Oh. Which is the truck from Terminator 2.

Oh, hell yeah. I was just going to pick a tow truck. But you didn't better. I bet you were. I was, but it wasn't going to be like that. But what's cool is I thought it was a semi-truck. Yeah. But it's a perfect, they like modified this tow truck to be like a perfect.

So the truck he's chasing. Yeah, when he goes. Eddie Furlong and. Yeah, the black one. Okay. You think of your tow truck for semi-trucks is what it looks like to me. Yeah. Look at that.

But it's like, it's like perfect. Yeah. I just love a box. I love a box. Me too. That's why I love those Chevy so much. I know, dude. I love like the Crown Vicks even.

Oh, yeah. My first car was a 1984 Ford LTD, which was the only year that they made the like coop style. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was built on the 5.0 chassis. So it had the like the ride of an LTD, but it fucking, I'll tell you what all this stuff is out of the podcast. Do you know why chicken, do you call out of a heavy metal boxy car? Yeah, dude. Do you know why chicken coops have four doors?

Because if they had two, it would be a chicken sedan. Did I get it wrong? Which one has four doors? A sedan? I thought you blacked out. A coop could be it. Oh, no, you're right. I did it right.

Yeah, yeah. You guys didn't laugh. No, why does a chicken coop have four doors? Right. Yeah, you're right. No. No, the coop has two doors. Oh, I said it wrong.

The sedan has four doors. Does a chicken coop have four doors? It's a joke, dude. Does it? I couldn't tell you. I think they got the one probably. It has to have some grounding in reality. He's giving you network notes

All right I'll be on the Zoom We don't really buy the chicken coop Is there a different animal That's that what it would be like Could there be some goat hutch? Yeah that's that's what it's like In our industry

Sean Time for your final pick What are the trucks called That carry around a bunch of other cars Skateboard Like the trucks that are hauling like Yeah but like two flat beds That can take like nine, ten cars with them.

I know what they're talking about. I'm going to write car truck? Car truck. The ones in lethal weapon four where they let them loose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, those are tight. Max is also enamored with those.

What about those ones you could put boats on like in bad boys? It's multi-deck, it says. Multi-deck truck. Multi-deck truck. Mm-hmm. That's what I picked. But is that technically the trailer? The truck part is just like a regular.

It's just semi-truck. I mean. I'm sorry. No. I don't have it. I mean. No, no, it counts. I think it counts for sure.

Garbage truck. Unless it counts. It counts. Okay. I saw a guy riding on the prongs on the garbage truck. Oh, no, really.

Like two days ago, it was the coolest shit. I don't know, because, you know, they work in tandem. Yeah, yeah,

and I just was like, I had come around the corner, I was walking Stella, and I saw it coming down and he was standing on it, and I was like, that's the shit. It's men at work style right there.

Garbage truck guys are saucy. Do you think they're best friends? Do you think it's like, do you think it's like, like, like men at work? Do you think it's like sharing a police car? Hmm.

with a couple felonies. They don't talk, right? Because they're, I bet they, I bet there are ones that are best friends and I bet there are somewhere it's just completely a business. I'll tell you this, they're the ones that are the coolest, like, whenever Max wants to, like, watch the garbage truck, they're the ones that'll, like, stop. And they'll, like, they'll put the thing up for her. If she wants to see it, they'll wave, they'll chat. I think those are good city jobs, too. I think, like, sanitation.

Except the garbage part. Well, the garbage part. But I think, like, I think you get pretty decent pay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Man, if I was a garbage man I'd be listening to that song from King and Queens You guys

I'm I was getting weary Yeah I'm here, sitting here in traffic On the Queensburg Bridge tonight And I don't care Because all I want to You guys didn't watch King of Queens

I did I just can cash my check And drive right home I'm gonna watch King of Queens when I go out I don't get a shit with a lot of things It's a show It's a show I do. She doesn't watch.

I'll wait until she goes to bed. She waits up. She comes down to stands. I'm just eating string cheese and wants to keep the queen. Sideways now. The amount of times... The amount of times I've heard the garage door open when I'm watching like Friday night lights and I'll just...

I'll shut the TV off and open my computer and go to my Gmail real quick. I've done it. I bet I've done it a hundred times. What are you doing? I'm just just working. I'm just... I'm just staring at my emails, you know, figuring out which ones I should answer. You're three-quarters of a way into peri menopause than you.

I'm like, oh. Wow. Reading the baby books. Yeah, I know she's five, but can't hurt to just get some old knowledge. Should you go over GameCape? Shout to our significant others who think the writing process is a lot more in-depth. Oh, my God. You're going to go right today?

Sure. That's what I'm going to do. my final pick the final pick of a draft i'm going to take when somebody runs over somebody else in football oh truck stick truck stick yeah what was that oh oh six it came out he was like oh six and the flick that changed the whole madden playing experience yeah that was huge i hope whoever invented truck stick like has a corner office yeah yeah because remember i think if this is right i think the first year truck stick came out you you couldn't tackle with it still oh why the his stick at Yeah, it wasn't hit stick.

Yeah, that shit. That did change everything. That was great. Well, hit stick was for one of them was first and then they added the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But once, and then it became a whole new game. Madden. John Madden.

Jonathan, man. Yeah. Not Steve. Steve Madden football? I don't want to get my shoes dirty. Mary James. Do you have a truck pick? I do.

Well, I was going to take dump truck as in that ass. Oh, yeah. Jesus. You know, you horny fucker. Save for work. None of you guys took... You better get to the bowling alley, quick. None of you guys put your pants back on.

Left them outside the car. None of you guys took the Toyota Tacoma, which is one of my favorite truck. I thought Tacoma was going to get taken. Taco, as it's called. Taco or when they would, like, take all the letters off except for Yoda on the back? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tacoma's a good little truck. It's a great truck. They've really, like, ruined what it looks like now. Have they? They're huge, and they've just gotten bigger and bigger Do you think it's because it got such a following? Yeah, oh, yeah. Because it just got so, it's just like, I remember it was like a little truck, it was cool,

and it feels like it got, like, so popular. I want to be able to put in my front pocket when I go inside. Little truck is cool. Little trucks are good. You know, this is what I'm screaming, you. Yeah. Everybody Jerry had one with no struts, and so, like, we'd be riding behind him, and he'd just be bouncing, like, crazy.

It was adorable. It was adorable. It was, tiny little truck. He's a big dude. To recap, David, you went first. You took the 53 Chevy 3100, the Ford F-150 Lightning, Ford 350 King Ranch, 2025 Stellar T-Mex, and Grave-Digger. Yeah.

Riv, you went second. You took the 85 Toyota SR5, Bigfoot, 1972 Chevy Love, 1983, Ford F-150, 1984 modified FLA tow truck. Oh, yeah. I'm going to sound like. Sean, you went third, you took food twatwock, El Camino. You know, fire twok, cement twak, and car twatwarks. I went last.

I took skateboard trucks. Shout out to the culture. How you're doing FTC. Shout out to Bart Simpson, dude. Shout out to Bob Bernquist. That's so funny. Shout to Optimus Prime, my second pick. My high school Ford F-150, which I think was like a 90s.

the Ford Ranger 95 and when somebody runs over somebody in football but really above all skateboard trucks where would we be without you I would be nowhere not out in nature I'd be dead in a ditch from drugs yeah

what a good time to be done huh what a good time to wrap it up I hear that Bacardi screaming my name you look inside of me I downloaded you I remember that look I remember that look

We are going to put up a poll up for this one So if you're into skateboard Skateboard culture Skateboard tricks Skateboard helmets elbow pads or knee pads Half pipes Four pipes

Quarter pipes Writs guards If you're into grinding Or nollies at all If you You could be a billionaire And nobody would No skateboarder would want to talk

I don't know where I was going If you love to Ollie or if you even love seeing other people, Ollie, if you love kickflips, make sure you vote for me. And like, if you love Nike SBs, he's still going. He's still going. He's getting there. Dude, if you're into Tony Hawk or helmets. Brain buckets. Janowski.

Eric Kostin. Make sure you vote for Eric Koston. Make sure you vote for me. You know, we've had a professional skateboarder on the show before. Yeah. If you're into him, vote for me. Kelly Hart Kelly Hart is his name

Who was the guy We saw outside of Yi Rustic Jerry Sue Jerry Sue Yeah My mom's name is Sue Lost my mind the other day Yeah I bet

Yeah I'm friends with Justin Strubing Really? Yeah Tals Best tail slide I mean Game on a mini-ram

You know what I'm talking about Hey Dump truck They're good There's a lot of sexual names Lip slides Oh yeah You could lip slide a box

You can't You have to go home Here for two more days Hit us up with your picks Atalphanacy podcast at gmail.com Shout to see everyone on the AFE Patreon where you can find auction drafts

Mailbag episodes This or That episodes Live episodes Good right Yeah good job Yeah Shout to everyone on the AFE subreddit The AFC Shackety

Shot to Super Producer Isaac on the ones and twos Shot to St. Sue Carmel Shout to Frankie Ocean. Shout to Sid the dude. Shout to Hajjee Beets. Shout out to Chad Muska and the Musk of Thugsta. Shout to all my Musk of Thugstas out there.

To Birdhouse and Girl. Wow. Shout out to poop and boob. Shout to CK.Y. You haven't been wrong yet. You know what I mean, dude? Shout out to Andrew Reynolds. Shout to Andrew Rannells.

And more important than all of that, next week to another brand new episode of Skateboard, Skateboard, Skateboard. That was a hate gum podcast.