All Fantasy Everything - TV Channels (w/ Jamel Johnson, Sean Jordan, David Gborie)

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Ditch that TV guide because we got you covered this week as we draft "TV Channels!" If you don't know what a TV Guide is then you haven't lived. No skipping those commercials either!    Guest: @NonProfitComic IG: @Broccolihouse Podcasts: Air Buds and  Sorry We Love Football   Support the show! Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy. Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverything   Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmel Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan David Gborie IG: @Coolguyjokes87 Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.Mel Show Email: [e-mail] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is All Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting television channels. Our guest today is a comedian and friend of the podcast, Jamel Johnson. Jamel is the host of Air Buds, a basketball podcast,

and Sorry We Love Football, an NFL podcast, both available anywhere podcasts are streamed. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. And joining me, as always, are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that just wants to see the ocean. Yeah, man. I mean, who doesn't? Let's have an ocean day. Just wants to see the ocean one time. Well, again. One more time. Don't you's have an ocean day. Just wants to see the ocean one time. Well, again. One more time.

Don't you live in an ocean? You know what? No, he's close. It's two hours. It might take you two hours from LA. Yeah, it's taken me two hours to get west before. I had to ask a Lyft driver to pull over so I could pee on the way to LAX. You know how you'll get in the car

and it'll just keep stacking up time as you're in the car. You'll go a couple miles, but it still says I'm an hour and a half away. A few things more stressful. And he got so mad at me, I had to give him $40 cash for him to do it. I had to give him cash.

He's like, I can't. He's freaking out. So we pulled over by USC, I think. Or no, what's the one by? It was probably USC. I don't imagine you were by ucla yeah no yeah that's right usc anyway uh yeah man i want to see the ocean i'll go fight the waves wait that story didn't talk i don't think it tied it in uh no we're talking about so it might take you two hours to go talk about getting from how long it takes to get to the ocean.

Oh, okay. Portland takes like two and a half hours to get to the ocean. And it's a different ocean. It's amazing. It's the same ocean. No, I know. It is. It's still the pack. It's still the pack.

But it's like not a get up in it and swim ocean. It's a walk along the beach. If you're a burly mountain made man, it is. Yeah. Get in there. 58 degrees. Pacific Ocean coming at you at 58 degrees solid. Get in there.

I've gotten in there. I'm not. Maybe 51, depending on the time of year. That's a cold dip. Yeah, it's a cold dip. I just went to North Carolina, the ocean. I was like, what are we doing on the West Coast? What are we even doing? What was it like?

I haven't really done a lot of eating. It was beautiful. It was so warm. It was so nice. Shout out to Dead Crow Comedy Fest show. Oh, that's in Wilmington where Michael Jordan is from, right? Is that where he's from? Yeah, I think he was born there.

Oh, I couldn't tell. Yeah. They said they never heard of you. Mike? Yeah. How about that? I was on your block. Spun it twice.

Nobody here. Nobody said anything. I was there for 48 hours. I heard no Michael Jordan references. You know who they talked about? Which was, I thought, disrespectful. Weirdly enough, Sam Perkins. Sam Perkins?

I mean, they were like, that's Chapel Hill's real native son. He's a big wheel. He's a big wheel everywhere in North Carolina. Were they on the same team? Were they on the same North Carolina team? The big smooth and Michael Jordan? For sure. Yeah, they overlap. They got big Jumpman logos, but they're Sam Perkins logos. the same team were they on the same north carolina team the big smooth and michael jordan for sure they got big jump man logos but they're sam perkins logos yeah like sam perkins jump man

over there it's less of a jump it's a little lower they got they got the footwork the footwork man move the footwork logo we should we should find out what sam Perkins is doing right now. I bet he'd come on. I bet he. I get a feeling Sam Perkins eats well. And I don't know if that's because Perkins is also the name of a restaurant. I think that's part of it. I think that's part of it in your head. I bet he's eating a lot of side sausages.

Yeah. Does that come with a sausage? No. Well, it does now. Go ahead and add that on. He looks like he's doing alright. I bet he is. Wikipedia picture, you know, he's wearing, he's got

a hat on. Is it one of those Kangols that those 90s basketball players loved the most? Well, at first I thought it was a Kangol, but now it looks a little bit like a beanie pulled over braids. Oh, that's a different, that's a different scene. That's a different scene.

He's from Brooklyn, Sam Perkins. Oh, yeah. See? There we go. Where Brooklyn at? That's beautiful. Yeah. Look at him.

Better times. He traveled to the South Sudan as an envoy for the U.S. Department of State. Oh, he's fucking deep state. Sam Perkins is like deep state dude shadow government wow what yeah that's who i would have picked too yeah if i'd have had to pick one of the 96 sonics to go deep state it's sam perkins then it's detlef shrimp definitely involved dude detlef shrimp has his fingers all over fucking everything that's happened over the last three years.

Nothing for Hershey Hawkins? No, no, no, no, no. He's a face. That's a made up name. It's already a made up name. I do remember everybody being like, wait. You're not no goddamn Hershey Hawkins. That's not what your name is!

Also, why did he not go by the Big Kiss? Yeah. Oh, why didn't he go by the Big Kiss? A smooch from Hershey. Yeah! Oh, it's right there. Yeah, it's right there for everyone. Oh, my God.

Damn. The Big Kiss. Cold world. That is. It's too late, because now I'm the Big Kiss. He blew it. Now you're the big kiss i mean good though good i guess in a way because now you're the big kiss but like oh shit nick nate mcmillan i could see get like oh nate mcmillan yeah eric snow maybe overturning some governments was that did we have polonese yet no i don't think so no we got him and carl from milwaukee at the same time right am i mixing stuff up it doesn't matter this is

david borey you can see me uh september 15th at the elysian in you know, Los Angeles running my new, my new, it's like 50, 55. I'll keep it a buck with you. It's 50, 55. Cool. It's clean on Instagram. Yeah. Cool guy jokes, 87 on Instagram. So yeah, come to see me.

I want to sell out the Elysian. So then I have worth in this life and people know that I also am a cool Los Angeles comedian. Other than that, you know, come to, it's all AFV dates in the fall, mostly. I'm Ja Rule on those tickets for the Elysian, by the way. I'm buying them all. You're just going to sit in the front and talk about Ashanti? I'm taking my honeymoon fund and just spending it all on Elysian tickets. Because for your honeymoon, you were only going to go to San Diego.

It's not that many seats. It's not that many seats. We already live in Southern California. Yeah, it's not a big deal. Yeah, but other than that, just be good. Yeah, September 15th, though, LA. Because I'm not going to be back doing comedy in LA probably for a while.

So, you know, let this be your one chance to come put eyes on me Sean S. Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram, Sean the microphone right now, Sean in a room full of string instruments are you still at the cabin? What is that? Are those mandolins? What's going

on behind you? Yeah I'm at Laura's brother's crib because we're getting a roof put on so um i had a guy to come over here roof baiter ginsburg over here dude old rufio i never noticed all those yeah there's a lot of stringed instruments you didn't notice the set that i'm gonna take seven seven no different stringed instruments behind you uh-uh you did not notice that wall full of guitars and banjos i knew that he had a grip because he plays them, but I never knew they were all just hanging up right there. That's pretty.

Yeah, I like it. It's like a banjo. It looks like a mandolin there. Two guitars, a violin. There's an electric guitar down there that he just got last year. It's pretty dank. Do you guys remember seeing Starship Troopers? I do.

And there was an electric violin in it oh that part well it'd be weird if I was just like you remember in Star Trek Troopers when there were boobs out yeah I do yeah I remember that that's the main part I remember just the hard left turn you remember like how there were

boobs out I think maybe it was about aliens it's like it's like monsters ball i don't really know the plot yeah something spaceships men and women i know for sure those were the first boobs i saw in a theater with starship troopers oh i thought you were gonna say monsters balls like oh no no no no no i i've still never seen the entirety of monsters ball who has i've seen the pertinent parts you dropped the mic in the middle of the performance. That's insane. They're lucky I got to the end of Swordfish, to be honest.

Absolutely. Well, that's a high-tech thriller. My friend gasped when that happened. We were in the theater, and when she lowered the Sun Visor thing, he goes, It was crazy. Scandalous. That was like the thing. Everyone's going to see it. Come to Faded tonight in Portland.

It's happening tonight. Come to Faded. It's going to be dank. I'm stoked. They've all been great. So yeah, come on out to Migration on North Williams. We got Subha Agarwal in town. Some fun locals on the show.

Shane Brennan, who by this point is hopefully one Portland's funniest person. And if he hasn't, he sure did try. So either way, come out and support. He's in the finals and he hasn't he sure did try so either way either way come out and support he's in the finals and i don't want to jinx him but i think he's got it man i think he gave it as he gave it the old college try you you opted not to participate in portland's funniest person i don't think uh i i don't think i can haven't you won it no why that's what we can we wanted to get to that didn't we no i never won it oh i'm sorry i won the first one i don't think i can i think i would get a little

backlash from the local stand-up community if i did i don't know why but i think i would you own a home in portland you are uh you are undoubtedly portland's person and you've never won it time for you to come back what's for what's yours yeah get your get your get your 90 million dollars less problematic dave chappelle yeah you're like jr smith playing college golf for nc state dude you're allowed to do it you have eligibility and that's the only time anybody's gonna say that to you yeah take advantage i don't want to do it comedy contests aren't fun man i like doing it's to do stand-up, but not in a contest. I never had a good time.

It's too stressful. I got booed at a contest. You got booed at a contest? Yeah, yeah. What contest? Folded Like Laundry. I was at Virginia State. Shout out to all our HBCUs.

My little brother set me up and was like, hey, do you want to do a show at Virginia State? I was like, well, I was supposed to apply there. Let's come do you want to do a show at virginia state i was like well i was supposed to apply there let's come back let's do a show i get down i get down there it's a contest and i just wasn't ready i got on everyone's bad side right away and then this old lady was like it's all right baby and then i was like oh you think this is the first time i did this and then yeah it was just the the wheels came right off the track right after that they were like boo and then i did the roger rabbit off as i was getting booed oh no oh man is that like something you do when you're sad

honestly yeah i started that makes sense to me that makes sense in the uh you know the two step forward one step back video or whatever yeah that's your fight or flight response yeah i just started doing like heavy shoulder moves it is a good way to leave a scene yeah they're always gonna remember the kid who Roger rabbited. I hope that follows you through the rest of your life. I hope you Roger, like if you ever get divorced, you Roger will rabbit your way out of the courtroom.

Yeah. No, I will. You better believe it. If it win, my boy. Go see Sean Jordan at Faded. Jamel Johnson is here.-profit comic on twitter broccoli house on instagram sorry we love football on the podcasts look open it yeah oh sorry i didn't even know i'm not done oh sneak this on vr kicks oh air buds pod everywhere podcasts are available sneak this was fantastic as a sneakerhead myself thoroughly enjoyed it thanks man and you know we we put some good

shots up and then they like they didn't let us they didn't let us post some things we had some other things it was kind of like we was caught in between like wanting it to be a sketch show and bleach report wanting it to be internet content you know i'm saying there's like a slight difference yeah but i do i do that's someone who started on a tv show that made sketches and has transitioned into internet content you know i fully understand it it's not quite the same but but shout out to Bleacher Report. We thank you. We praise you. Amen. Are we going to get

more of it, or is that it? Hey, look. Hey, people. Tell Bleacher Report, bring us back. Go in their comments and fuck them up, please. Because if you let us do more, everybody's on the show. We're getting the boys to come down. everybody's wearing foams

yeah it's gonna be a good old time we're gonna put sean jordan in penny foam positive pros so i can finally my potential will be seen that'll be nice a full velour sweatsuit with high top air force ones he's gonna we're gonna dress him like rashid wallace yes it's gonna be a lot of fun if i would have got my hands on that in middle school i don't wore it to middle school oh my god yeah also who knows maybe somebody else in this group is working on a project that we've had some meetings about that you know might be included in hold on you know what i mean a lot of people are developing a lot of things all over the world who knows mel johnson melnick look out for it yeah

rush hour four is coming hey man it's about time rush hour four live in woodbridge virginia sat at me trying to win woodbridge's funniest comedian which i would apply for if it existed and i would lose i haven't i haven't heard of a lot of projects where i was like i would bankroll that but uh rush hour four jamelle and marissa i'd i'd put my house up dog yeah absolutely now i gotta split my honeymoon fund up yeah you know how you know cosby paid to finish Malcolm X? No, he didn't. Bill Cosby paid to finish Malcolm X? No.

Well, they had to do some. He paid for all the ADR. What happened? They had to do some voiceover. Some shit like that. Like, he had to go in pocket to get it done. I'll do that for Rush Hour 4. All right.

What? I had no idea. Oh, well, hey, hold on. I'm in D.C. the same weekend as y'all. Oh, that's right. Yes. Yes. We can say it.

We can say it. Oh, is that a lie? I don't want to mess up y'all leaks if you guys got to. But I'm doing a show with Trevor Joyner, September 30th. What up, Trev? D.C. Comedy Loft. And then you guys are the next night. We'll be at the DC Improv

the rest of that weekend. Whether Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Live All Fantasy Everything on Sunday. Oh, baby. Yeah, doing stand-up comedy on that Friday and that Saturday. Triple headlining. Triple co-headlining. Or will it be

quadruple co-headlining? Who knows what's or or will it be quadruple co-headlining who knows who knows what's going to happen to the dc improv who knows who knows maybe we're going to play four on four at baniker park that might happen that might happen maybe maybe we're going to battle somebody for their chains we don't know what's going to take place any of that can happen you're going to want to be in washington dc i might as well get the new balances right now huh get you a pair of 992s right now uh pre-order some glizzies get your glizzies pre-ordered right now they're gonna sell out the whole city is gonna run out of hot dogs as soon as you get in the building there's a bit of glitty glizzy shortage along the whole east coast i'm saying they just dropped the price on hot wings glizzy's had to come up people want to think people i mean people want to think that like

the pandemic's over but like the truth is we're going to be feeling those lasting effects and one of those is a devastating glizzy shortage that's gonna that's gonna take decades to resolve itself sounds like my 10th grade birthday party. You had a glizzy shortage at a 10th grade birthday party? No, there was an overabundance. Yeah, an overabundance. Okay. Someone call it a glizzy party. Demasiado glizzies.

Are you going to get anything on your glizzies in D.C., David, or are you just going to leave them blank again? Well, in D.C., I'll probably get that mumbo sauce. can you do that on a hot dog yeah we can we can find you some they might we might have to ask a couple of a couple of guys outside but they they got it at the dice game what's mumbo so oh listen to this freshman mumbo sauce it's like it's like what's mumbo sauce shauna i got a bottle in my room what is it i'm honestly happy to tell you oh cool john you're just asking you know you're just asking for the listeners he doesn't know

yeah totally what yeah but tell them what it is though it's like sweet and sour spicy so it's like all of them in one sauce i make mumbo sauce at the crib without knowing it i do it all the time well i don't know yeah yeah it's called a nocturnal emission that's how you got the first one yeah what were you doing what were you doing from three to four in the morning well i was making mumbo sauce dinner i well i got this shit called honey racha and then i put hot sauce in it and then sometimes a barbecue sauce. And that sounds like mom. But hot sauce in hot sauce.

Yeah. I'll put like tapatio in the honey racha and then some barbecue sauce to calm it back down. Sometimes. Whoa. I put it in. This is going to gross you out. I put it in a ramekin and then I'll just tortilla shells. It doesn't really gross me out. It just makes me want better for you.

I don't do it nearly as much as i used to i might do that if i'm like once well like once a day probably but it's not like i don't i don't go through packages like every other day i'd go through ask ian i'd go through like a package tortillas like every other day yeah kip chogie you know taking three seconds off his marathon time is progress and me going for a five minute walk is also progress those are both progress all right progress looks like many different things 50 cent told me progress is a slow process yeah 50 cent man that's a metaphor for change you remember that i don't think it is though somebody did he say that it's somebody like somebody whack say that like how do you get his name it's a metaphor for change i really honestly don't like even talking out against him verbally like on something

i know that's going to be recorded whoa whoa i'm not i'm just watch power on stars that's all i have to say about About 50 cents. That's what we're promoting. Jamel, any other dates you want to tell the All Fantasy Everything family about? Listen, bro, that's it. Once I do that, I'm done with stand-up forever, baby. I'm sitting down. We're all coming out after that.

I'm getting out of the game, and I'm starting a farmer's market. The hell with it. Finally. The coop. From your mouth to God's ear, I feel like that's what I should be doing. I'm just not good at it. I grew tomatoes this summer, and I'm like, I wish I could share this with people. I know who to talk to.

I know who the plug is. I know who the Blackberry plug is. Right? You could be that guy honestly i'm surprised i've never bought food off of you it is the only game i haven't gotten into his food i bought everything else for sale but that's because you didn't know me in middle school we used to move them frozen pizzas i believe that i believe oh with the little with the little tray? Yeah, shout out to Joe Corby's. The Johnson family, we used to have a Joe Corby's truck backing up to the house. We used to have, they putting the 18-wheeler by the house, dog.

We were doing numbers. Man, God bless it. That's like how Elton John buys Versace. They bring the truck to his house. He walks in and walks out with whatever he wants, and it's like, send the bill later. Man, swimming in packs of them little cheese packs. The cheese looked like confetti.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was nice, man. It was like these little squares. Are you familiar with this fundraiser pizza? I'm familiar with the pizza that had the gray tabletop that you had to set it on inside of the microwave yeah i mean the little totinos still have that little gray tabletop they're the reflective are they still doing that how did everybody feel about the lunchable pizza when that came out i know it was it wasn't it wasn't pizza but i did eat it yeah something if they would have

called it something else it's weird because i ate a lot of Lunchables that I think in hindsight, I only ate that stuff because it was packaged together. Yeah. Like it was not good. Here you go. I thought it made me look like I wasn't broke. So if I had a Lunchable at lunch, I thought everybody else would look at me like he's not broke. And so I loved Lunchables. Because that's like a brand name thing?

Yeah, it's a brand name thing. It's all packaged up instead of like, I'd bring my, normally it'd be like an exiled sandwich in like a plastic bag and just look fucking disgusting. And you were putting it in a Lunchables? Yeah. You guys ever had these exiled Lunchables? Yeah, washing it out. You're sewing tigers on your shirt, as Biggie said. For days, we used to put the cross-color logos in different spots like oh man try to pull it over on people be like no you don't even know about uh he doesn't like me saying his name a

friend of mine put the cross-color logo down his fly and we're all like there's they don't do that man that's not it's the jabot does the fly anyway he wore it to school and got called out immediately we're like i told you cross colors doesn't put the fucking i wore some fake dada's to school one time and got caught what are dada's the shoes dada supreme chris weber had the it was the shoe with the spinner had the spinner rim in the god this is before that though this is when dada was a cool brand this was before before. Before they. Yeah. Dada was a reputable brand before they put rims in. Yeah. And you had some schmadas. They said baba.

I tried to say Dada reverse. Nobody believed it. Shout out to Aurora, Colorado. That's off brand shoe store on Mississippi next to the Burlington Coat Factory. If you go to a shoe store next to a burlington coat factory they're always fake shout out to burlington coat factory though yeah no very good store very good store very good store thick sizes in abundance for as long as i

can remember oh yeah i got an avarex sweater there in like eighth grade. Also a place where you can get like the, oh, they have these shoes that are like on StockX for like $600 right now. And they're just sitting there because nobody thought to go to Burlington Coat Factory. No. Yeah. Burlington Coat Factory is amazing. Way more than great coats. Yeah. For sure.

Yeah. That's just the beginning of it. They really should be Burlington Coat Factory and beyond. Bed Bath and Beyond. Bed Bath kind of covers what they do. Yeah. They really should be Burlington Co-Factory and Beyond. Bed, bath, and beyond. Bed, bath kind of covers what they do. Yeah, they don't do beyond shit. There's nothing beyond. It's bed, bath, and kitchen.

That's really what they're saying. The beyond is and kitchen. Right. They don't really go too far beyond, do they? No. They just go to the next room. It's all covered in bed, bath, and kitchen. Also, that's a house, by the way.

Bed, bath, and kitchen? They're not selling living room shit. Call it Home Depot, idiots. I shouldn't be doing... I'm about to do this on late night, so I shouldn't be getting into my bed, bath stuff. Are you kidding? No.

Ah, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, if you did, it's called... Bed, bath, and beyond. Not that far beyond. Not that far beyond. I mean, listen.

It is what the people need to hear. I don't know if they want to hear it. Oh, I just want to say thank you guys for letting me pull off this hoodie shirt combination. I was very nervous logging on, so I appreciate you not making me feel weird. It looks good. Fantastic. Can we see it a little bit? It's a whole crazy move.

Oh, come on. The yellow and the yellow? The yellow and the Polo logo? I was going to do it at the show tonight, but I wasn't sure so i was like let me let me soft play it let me soft play it on the on on the i was thinking about getting a polo t-shirt with the polo bear on it is that crazy no what no that's great we have yeah we have so much to talk about. I haven't had polo in years. With like the big bear? The big bear.

I want to do it. I almost did it yesterday, but I was shopping for ties. A t-shirt? You should get like a sweater or something. Yeah, get a sweater. Or a jacket. Or a sweatshirt. I want some polo stuff.

Well, this isn't what they're looking for. It's exactly what they're looking for. You think people are coming here to hear anything except you thinking about buying polo and us not being sure about it i mean i still want to get a carl can i shirt david talked me off the ledge but i still i was gonna get a wild one it was insane and listen i'm not like because i'm not like a hater like that but it was like it was like i don't want you out here yeah please making a bad decision either i think you should be allowed to buy carl can i but you have to go to a black mall to do it you can't do it in portland that's a good point i'll be square you gotta go to new york that's the only way you do it you have to be you have to be in that you have to be buying the carl can i

what if we go somewhere in dc i'll get some carl can i know some places no i know a couple you guys want to go to Forestville? Let's go to a t-shirt shop. Hey, let's go to PG Plaza. Oh, and then we'll go Shred Freedom Plaza after that. Pulaski Park, Playboy. You know where that is? Hey, yeah.

It's right over the way. Right around the way. Right over there. Right, right, right over there. Over there. Yaxilla, dude. Let's do it. Oh, I'm excited already.

And then we can go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. We can see Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk's like first skateboard or the 900 border some shit is in the smithsonian the hat colors that they have in prince george's county maryland the only place in the world i swear like they got every color every team like you could get like you know i mean like wheel hat turquoise nuggets gear yeah because the drug dealers requested let me get some hornet hornets colors blazers gear that would be dank oh they got it for you i noticed but hornets colored blazer gear neon purple milwaukee bucks they got it all

actually milwaukee bucks might make that i I want neon purple Milwaukee Brewers. I want some Minneapolis Lakers colors, LA Lakers jerseys. You can get that from the LA Lakers. Well, they have that. Do they really? Yeah. No way. Absolutely. Absolutely. That mumbo sauce.

You gotta get to the Mitchell and Ness website, my man. They got deals, too. Mitchell and Ness? Yeah, sorry. We're doing it. He's a man of to the mitchell and what ness website my man they got they got deals too mitchell and ness yeah sorry yeah we're doing it he's a man he's a man of he's a man he's a he's been a he's a slender and athletic man and has been his entire life he doesn't he doesn't really know about mitchell and nester burlington co-factory yeah that's true you know i understand yeah it's different paths and stuff yeah different paths tell me what i don't know about i'm telling you what you don't know about i'm getting you back by the way all right where do where do skinny guys get their

clearance price gear is it tj max i think the gap oh it's just a gap i used to well after i started skating it was like sweaters and hoodies so it really wasn't that hard of a search you just go to skate shops before that i was getting like i mean it was cross colors and dickies and shit so i wasn't really getting skinny guy stuff sean was getting his gear at home goods he was getting his gears yeah yeah jabose like cross colors dickies z cavaricci guess holo is another brand that has had the thicker gentleman's back for the duration of its existence and appreciate it oh holding it down no questions asked big time speaking of hold it down my name name is Ian Carmel.

At Ian Carmel on Twitter. At Ian Carmel on Instagram. At Ian Carmel on Jewish Burlington Coat Factory dot com. You can catch me on there. Burlington. No, I didn't like it. Do it. I didn't like how it sounded in my head.

Burlington Jew. What was it? I was going to say Burlington Jew Factory. I tried and then I realized I didn't like you. Burlington Coat Bank? What are we doing? Burlington Coat Studio. No, no, no, no, no.

Whoa, that's not what was happening. Change my hat. Try to shift the energy. There we go yeah where did you get that oh my god the the ricky lake train conductor hat that's a good hat man that is beautiful you often make moves where i don't think i could get any more impressed hey i might need jamal i might have somebody i need to introduce you to because one of my fiance's dad's friends ran a hat company in the 90s hold on i'll be right back you guys wait hold on wait oh no this is insane no we're going for a hat off oh oh yes i just wanted. I just wanted it to fit my head. I forgot that I had it.

I love the stripes. I have a Spitfire hat like that, just with those thin vertical stripes. Real danks. Come on back. They'll let me conduct a train. I could ride to the Amtrak for free with this hat on. Have you guys ever Amtrak before? Brother, have I?

When I got booed off stage in Virginia State, I took the Amtrak to Petersburg. stage in virginia state i took the amtrak to petersburg i amtrak to richmond va and then i had to talk my way back on the train like a fucking boxcar child yeah we did portland to seattle and my buddy got the scoots from some bad clams on the train i was like of course you don't have clams on the train i was gone 30 seconds what happened well we started talking about lot lizards and then sean started talking about train clams all right yeah yeah uh american needle was the hat company so like her dad just gave me this is floyd the barber from the andy griffith show it's an andy griffith show hat with just floyd the barber on it oh that's amazing that's like they did they did like baseball hats i think they had like a baseball contract but also they just did like fucking everybody so this is just

an andy griffith show baseball hat from the 90s and hey listeners i'm gonna clip out the video here to post on the patreon so our subscribers can see what these wild hats look like hat content nice hat content i just got this tuskegee hat i'm really happy about can i also i did see you because you popped that out earlier you might as well let's everybody had that for one time yeah i think i might wear it i think this might be the fit for faded oh sean's playing an away game so there's no hats but there is a banjo if you want to yeah there's a banjo if you want from a banjo during this he's got nothing damn sorry he's got nothing oh oh he's gonna run to his house i think he's gonna he's gonna come

back with like a nacho sombrero oh he just took a mandolin off the wall i wonder if this turns into a conversation later with the uh with the brother-in-law don't touch my man i know i know i know you came in. I don't mind letting you use the house to record. No, man. I have fun, dude. We love Max here. I noticed one of my lutes had been moved slightly. I just don't know

if you have oily hands, that could change the composure of the wood. It's like a pH balance thing more than it really is anything lutes mean a lot to me ukulele jordan there we go okay check us all out in uh waikiki yeah we'll all be in waikiki wearing hats some of us will be wearing hats just a taste i can do a lot more than that but i get the bass line for feel me flow on there if you guys give me a little time i will you want to get in a good fucking mood listen to feel me flow on the wedding playlist get out of town nice yeah that was on mine too anyway uh yeah nobody heard it

there was nobody on the dance floor damn ow there was nobody on the dance floor oh it was me it was kyle and it was a nephew it was like your nephew oh no my buddy mike was out there because he sweat his whole fit till he passed out and they came over and they're like hey i think your buddy's asleep this is not a criticism of you or your wedding by the way this is a criticism of just everyone who was at the wedding and wasn't on the dance floor. I got out there a little bit. It was nice outside, and it hadn't been nice at all before that, so everyone was outside

in the field just kind of feeling it, I think. You're right. The dance floor was not popping. It absolutely was not. Just to be clear, there's not a criticism of you or your wedding whatsoever. It felt like that even after I said it, and I didn't mean it like that, and I apologize. And I love you. The only time the dance floor was popping was when me

and Kelly Jordan were out there slicing it up. The dance floor was popping so were my eyes. I was weeping. Yeah, so was I. It was buffing. Weeping during that, dude.

And you'll be weeping from laughter at the DC Improv. September 30th, October 1st, October 2nd. Tickets still available. Come see us do stand-up.

The DC All Fantasy Everything show has sold out. Tickets not available for the All Fantasy Everything. No longer available. You fucking blew it. You screwball. What's wrong with you? You took too long. Fly to Minneapolis.

You took too long. You schmuck. I guess we will do mini drafts of the stand-up shows if there are enough of you there. Yeah. If there are enough of you there. You can come see me in foam positive pros on stage at the dc improv you can see me in that fresh dripping carl can i shirt after

dripping honestly fresher than wet paint playboy you guys might see me in a pair of avarex leather track pants who knows oh my god you gotta get tickets to find out. No, I'm actually taking that back. They're $1,000. Get me to a Carl Canais shirt that won't make me look like an absolute fool, and I will buy it. I was ready to buy one that was going to make me look like a fool, and I wanted to. I don't think we can take you down this journey. I think this is a solo mission. You're like, hey, take me to Atlantis.

I'll go find a Carl Canais shirt myself and make up my own mind. Is this me take me to Atlantis you know I'll go find a Carl Canais shirt myself and make up my own mind is this what Voyage to Atlantis was about the Isley Brothers were singing about finding Sean a Carl Canais shirt that he feels comfortable in I couldn't follow the storyline because there were boobs in it so I couldn't really it was the boob scene that

stuck out shout out to boobs you can also see us at the 10,000 Laughs Comedy Festival in Minneapolis Minnesota the very next week stuck out shout out to boobs uh you can also see us at the 10 000 laughs comedy festival in minneapolis minnesota the very next week uh i think tickets still available for the all fantasy everything show but those are going quick and the the festival has put all of us on at eight o'clock doing stand-up the next day but i think they are also putting all of us on each other's shows during doing short sets i got confused by the email i got confused as well we're blocks away from each other so yeah i think that's it i think

we're all doing a longer set come see all of us come see any of us you know do what do whatever it is that you need to live your life to its you know to its maximum yeah but buy tickets to that all fantasy everything buy tickets to the stand-up comedy shows and i'm sure we'll just be bobbing around minneapolis on the sean jordan reality tour i can't wait we'll have a i think i'm gonna get kelly jordan the whip so we'll have a car so we can go to the mall of america anybody who's willing to do that yeah what are you playing sounds like we're gonna go shoplift or something the way you laugh that was like uh i'm gonna jump off the roller coaster into the lego store i'm gonna go fucking rob this sam goodie blind we also have some other dates i don't know if they're posted yet but i believe we can talk about them we did last week did we talk about it last week okay uh we're gonna be

in phoenix at some point we could say that we could narrow down the month arizona phoenix arizona uh we're going to be in portland oregon the weekend of november 18th tickets not on sale yet i don't think hold on i have these dates somewhere they're not on sale it's phoenix is like november 11th and 12th uh oregon you're going do stand up on the 18th afv on the 20th and yeah that's right oh it's whatever well maybe i don't know two days in a row whatever it doesn't yeah or it might it's either the 18th it's either the 19th or the 20th the bell house in new york's like the 17th of december i think something like that yeah anyway these days pretty cool dates and ticklings to come for now the only places to see us for sure washington dc minneapolis minnesota come cleanse yourselves on the waters of lake

minnetonka alongside your your favorite pals uh watch the late late show james corden listen to all fantasy everything uh that's that's about it that's about it we're gathered here today not only to talk about maybe going to the ball of america which sounds fun to me but also to fantasy drafts tv channels jamel this was your suggestion any any what what what what went through the process well you guys know i you know i love regular tv i do know that about you about you. I'm a basic cable boy from way back. Like Pat say, Jack. Yep. I'm still working my antenna as hard as possible.

The antenna is playing 40 minutes a night at my house. So yeah, I'm super duper TV. Not trash time at all. No trash. Jimmy Butler minutes. All minutes. Everything. Yeah. so yeah i'm super not trash time at all no trash jimmy butler minutes all minutes everything yeah he's got you're the tom thibodeau of the tv antenna the thibodeau of the tv antenna yeah make it go run sprints after games we got one of those like flat boxes instead of an antenna now oh that's nice flat little like move it around boxes so yeah yeah yeah

i had to find there's an app that shows you which way to face your antenna is that app called laura's dad because he was facing it he was putting pictures in front of it trying to get it just right that man knows the thing he's an air force man he knows a thing or two about like uh satellite transmission he used to fix tvs him and his dad, but he's like, he watches Perry Mason every second he's awake, so it's like that antenna had to be on point when he was at the crib over the holiday. That rules. Any interest in the Andy Griffith

show? No, I don't think so. Give me a Perry Mason one of those. I'll look into it. They got Perry Mason Scullies. It's like the cuff. It's a ski mask. It's a Perry Mason Scully's. It's like the cuff. It's a ski mask. It's a Perry Mason ski mask. Now, the way we determine the order

of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ooh, David wins. He throws a rock against two scissors. It's a natural victory. David, as the winner of rock against two scissors. It's a natural victory. David, as the winner of rock, paper, scissors,

I will remind you, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do that, I'll also remind you, it's a serpentine draft. What is that? That's a great question. It's like watching roofers take off shingles.

We're getting a new roof right now, and I was actually standing out there watching, and they just, for real, take them all the way off, start right to left, scrape them off, left left to right go down a little bit right to left scrape all them shits off and uh at pretty basic that's it just straight across the house just like a like a snake would go that's a notorious roofing yeah dude i've been wanting to hit him i don't want to bug him but every second i've been wanting to hit him up and be like not it's not like i

don't think they're doing a good job but it's like i just want to be like is this how it should be going it should it be taking this long i'm sure they're doing a good job yeah i'm not sure i don't fucking know uh yeah so that like that uh fourth in the first round first in the second round serpentine draft uh with that in mind david what will the order of today's television channel draft be i mean i gotta go first yeah that's a big there's some there's some big first round talent in this draft yeah mostly big first round talent uh then i'm gonna go sean then i'm gonna go jamal then i'm gonna go ian hot corner i'll take it i'll take it i'm building this i'm building this team up. Fuck you.

From the bricks. Ow. Going third rules. That's what I don't know. My left tackle and my quarterback, bang, bang, like that, all right? Yeah, that's what you want, man. Next up, Super Bowl. Are you guys start watching Hard Knocks?

Oh, anyway. Yeah, I watched the first one, of knocks oh anyway yeah i watched the first one of course yeah i watched the second one i kind of got out of it when it was all like covid stuff it's just i didn't want to watch any covid content but like i'm back in yeah oh yeah yeah anyway sorry david you have the first pick in the tv channel offensive draft and we'll get to that pick right after this short break this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Policy Genius. Policy Genius, I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age.

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but you're just going to stick people with the bill. You're going to stick your loved ones with the bill. Don't nobody want to do that. You know what I mean? Get covered. I don't want anyone inheriting my debt. And then they see what I spent money on. Probably. I don't need all that nonsense in my life. Get it covered. Get an insurance policy. Get it handled. And like I said, Policy Genius gives you unbiased advice from a licensed expert support team. They have thousands of five-star reviews on Google, Trustpilot, from customers who've felt the benefits of their service. So get on it. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't procrastinate. Oh, yeah, I got a song on Spotify as a rapper. That's neither here nor

there don't put off life insurance make it easy with policy genius head to policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save that's policygenius.com yeah we're back welcome back to all fans the only podcast that has ever existed except of course for sorry Love Football. Active now with the return of the NFL season. Air buddies. Constantly. Basketball. It's a beautiful sport. David Boer, you have the first

pick in the TV channel All Fans Everything Draft. I want my MTV. Wow! Really? Shit. I wanted every era. I want yo MTV raps. I want Und Shit. I wanted every era. I want Yo! MTV raps. I want Undressed.

I want Daria for seven hours. Beavis and Butthead, perhaps? I want Beavis and Butthead. Watch that show. I worked on it. I want all of it, baby. I want Making the Band, too. Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about? I want to see E. Ness and Fred fighting in the living room. Crips. I want the making the band too. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? I want to see Enos and Fred fighting in the living room. Cribs. I want all that. I want Cribs. I want the VMAs. I want the MTV Movie Awards. Rock and Jock.

I want Rock and Jock. I want Rock and Jock baseball and basketball. I want to see Nelly hit dingers. You know what I'm saying? I want it all baby i want every era i want subterranean because you were up at three in the morning after bt uncut was over and you wanted to watch some more videos and you thought maybe mtv was on the same thing headbangers ball oh no maybe not as much of that but i want a lot of it 120 i want a lot of 120 minutes

i want i want to watch the i want to watch the original movie together yeah they did movies yeah man i'm taking yeah it's just like it's banned all my child i didn't stop watching mtv till i left home so like all and that was i watched the most childhood right there are two eras from of after school tv and i won't say the other one but the other one is mtv you know what i mean you get to that point where you're like that's on yeah oh yeah it was yeah all i mean all the little stuff that came and went super sweet 16th birthday all that weird shit you know what i mean you're a big aeon flux guy too right i'm i love all the liquid uh whatever television tv stuff they hit the odyssey uh all that shit was fun man

syphilin ollie remember syphilin ollie that was my shit bro sifflin ollie was fantastic watch all of that shit liam lynch david lynch was i think his name liam lynch we used to sit and watch undressed on the phone i'd sit with my girlfriend on the phone and we'd watch undressed from each other's houses and just talk about undressed dude i lied about being on undressed it's one i did not when i started doing stand-up, they'd be like, what's your credits? I'd be like, say I was on Undressed. On my MySpace, it said I was on Undressed. Oh my God, that's dank.

And then they'd follow me. Paper Magazine. It says it in Paper Magazine that I was on Undressed. It's on the record now. Now you were on Undressed. I wasn't going to believe it. The only one that made it out is Jay it's uh jay hernandez he was eddie on undressed and he like turned it into a career oh new magnum pi dude what you mean oh yeah he was one of the whatever it's just a dude on

undressed but i don't think anybody else really did much after that i don't know i could be wrong but it was it was bad and there was all everybody every scene someone had to get in their underwear some of the loosest writing i loved it i like soap opera shit so i've yeah i love i loved that show even in hives like i loved it very open about it they had a goal that's goal-based writing it's like how do we yeah give these people in their underwear immediately how do we get these teenagers and their underwear for younger teenagers the sprinklers that the dmv went off everybody has to strip the end of their underwear milkshake fight at the cemetery better strip the end of your underwear and one was undressed fucking rule no mtv has been i mean remote control like

way back when it first started all those old. And they just always had dope shit the whole time. The whole time. I loved MTV Made. Yeah. Oh, fucking Made? Uh-huh. Come on. I want to be made into the thing that the popular kids do at my school.

I still know the name C-Ray Walls because he was one of the made coaches on the I Want to Be a Rapper episode. Oh, you mean my name is Niles and the blizzard is coming they had they had fanatic they had um oh diary i call it it goes it goes on and on it goes on and on and they invented reality television i get it you don't play videos anymore bummer but you were there you held it down i'm not mad at you deep bench now they're just lining rob deardex pockets that's the whole that's their entire purpose as a network you know it's like dollar bills baby yeah big dollar bills rob deardex that that well that's that's crazy shout out to rob that's all i'm gonna say just thank you i don't

know if i think i might have exchanged one head nod with the man, but the whole time he wrote for it, that's all. Hey, a couple head nods a year. Hey, there you go. I give me some fruit salad. I get right out of there. That's more than Letterman ever gave anyone. There you go. Rob Dyrdek was a really good skateboarder, though.

Like a really good professional skateboarder. It's crazy to see somebody transition into like a mogul, like a real, I don't know. It know it's wild they don't not a lot of them do that so yeah i'm not hating on rob dyrdek i think it's fine no i'm not hating on rob dyrdek kidding a lot of people hate on him i do paid for them red berries behind you the special k red berries is that where i used to see you walking from when we were up in glendale is that when we were working there yeah man all right oh hell yeah i was doing other shit i was working at abc mouse so like i was kind of that's why we had different steps hey look you get it man

that's all he was over there we was all at the same islands it's all work man shout out to islands if you want to end up paying 24 for what was one burger and some fries yeah i was telling jamel before you got on david that like a couple times i just text from work or you'd hit me up i'd be like you just want to meet at bj's and we'd meet at bj's at like six you remember that oh before we went on the road yeah a couple times just just any mom would be there weirdly because he worked at abc mouse yeah yeah oh I forgot about that hearing Danny on the phone and we'd both be looking like I was with you till 3 last night

this ain't day shout out to the rascal MTV man fantastic pick Sean Jordan now I can go off basic cable I can go off of that as long as it's a tv channel yeah that's what i yeah okay yeah tv channel not a streamer though mind you no but it's so

so that hbo started as a television box yeah the home box yeah hbo for days damn that's even though it's not tv though that is it is hbo they do say it's not tv i'm taking it i don't i don't i don't stand up for the picks a lot i'm picking it well we'll say i mean we i'm just saying a complaint has been launched i'm all for hbo yeah i would never here's my question here's my question though here's my big question did you have it got it did you have it before it was streaming because that's why i didn't pick it we never had it except for the free weekends we had it when i was a kid we had it and i i don't know why but there was a reason we i don't know what it was my mom must have loved something on it but we did have it when i was a kid all the time real sex your mom was

red shoe diaries no that wasn't that wasn't hbo was that skinamax yeah hbo though you look back they had uh this show way back in the day called first and ten it was a football show that i used to watch when i was like six and i should not have been watching it then they had like tales from the crypt they've always just done it right if you look back at all the hbo shows they've done it right and it was dope movies before you could before that could happen yeah it's just the illest i'm i'm listening to the audiobook about the history of hbo you should check it out i think you'd like it yeah i i mean it's all that shit's fascinating man uh even the intro because hbo now the streamer has gone back to like the old school

kind of intro to their movies a little bit but it used to like go through the letters like snake you through the letters kind of like if you're at cinemark like they do with the popcorn roller coaster you know i'm talking about so hbo would kind of do that and uh i don't know it's just dope it was like an event you know you had there's another thing with tv you had to be there at that time so it'd be like uh fucking conan predator is going to be on at eight gotta be at the crib at eight to watch it conan predator is going to be on at eight gotta be at the crib at eight to work so it's also going to be on at 10 they're going to replay it right it's going to be on at two not at midnight that's only on hbo west midnight's going to be real sex

where two jewish therapists are going to paint each other's naked bodies and you try to jack off to it you try so hard you try so fucking hard and got so far yeah that was a rude awakening when you're like this is real those were some of the those are some of the weirdest nuts i've ever busted all these dudes with giant bushes and little little button dicks and you're like just weird genital just like i'm not not like not kink shaming at all but like i feel like it would it would cut from one thing to another real fast so that like you started on one thing and by the time you finish you're finishing on like you know something a lot different clown sitting on balloons and this is like when you're a teen

there's paint everywhere you're the fucking iron chef at jacking off it's like throw me ingredients i'll be able to make something out of this you know what i mean like i'll make this is chop pantene pro v i don't give a shit whatever i can jack off to that but the real sex would just be throwing curveballs like hard fall off the table curveballs at you call me clint eastwood because i had trouble with the curve yeah they always left off the uh real sex for people that like maybe have issues with sex or something like it it wasn't just like people banging it was like sex parties or people that like were I don't know exploring a little bit and they were always I don't think those are issues hey not not issues not I'm I think it was

not meant to be jacked off to but we all we were like real little monsters i think that's more realistically not i didn't mean issues i just i meant tvma i mean i meant it wasn't going to be like porn but yeah that thing where you're just like oh my ass is gonna watch it just a bunch of people who look like your parents friends fucking it was just not not good yeah but you do also get i mean they they had some soft core porn right was right no red shoe wasn't maybe hbo never got in there a little bit because then later they got into just the g-string divas and then when they got into the bunny ranch the bunny ranch oh yeah they

were starting to get confessions was hbo was it yeah but that's not porn that's just like people no no but i mean i'm just saying dope shows like oh yeah oh yeah entourage more there were more boobs and entourage than taxicab confession i'm not saying porn i'm just saying things you can jerk off to it doesn't have to be band of brothers uh whenever kid capri the kid capri that's why that's why my nuts tingle every time i hear kid capri say kid capri yeah i get it i get it yeah man hbo i tails from the crypt put it on hbo i didn't know that was an hbo show it's like the one of the it was dream on and then hbo as far as i know like as or as tales from the crypt as far as their first like two shows because i was watching tales from

the crypt 35 years ago put it on fucking we're talking hard knocks all the way to sex in the city you know yeah no they've done it yeah hbo has great original programming they're they're killing it and you're a big fan of john from cincinnati too right that's your ship the biggest yeah i haven't showed you yet but i now i have a full back tattoo and he's a luck slash john from cincinnati guy oh man i was just big i was just i was just listening to the i was just listening to the history of it you know why why they had to cancel luck? All those horses. Yeah, like five racehorses died. Yeah, because they were shooting at Santa Anita, right?

Yeah, yeah. Something's going on at Santa Anita because horses just die over there all the time. All the time. Like their hearts explode because they're full of like fucking some sort of horse juice from parts unknown. Anyway, HBO. HBO. So Sean takes Dying Horses, the home box office. Jamel, time for your first pick.

I picked HBO. Thank you. Alright, I'm going to make this pick purely out of utility. Damn, this is so tough. This is so tough. This first is a hard one.

This is tough. This is tough on the board where you're like, I didn't think this was going to be on the board. But you know what? All right, all right, all right. Fuck it. I'm going to take this one

just because it's the right thing to do. The National Broadcast Company. Yeah, that's the fucking number one talent. Yeah. I have to do it because I've been waiting all day for Sunday night you're goddamn right

I get a football game I get men behaving badly I had a big dogs parody t-shirt of men behaving badly called dogs behaving badly and it was two dogs sitting on the couch t-shirt of men behaving badly called Dogs Behaving Badly.

I knew what it was called! If I had one guess. I knew exactly what it was going to be called. I interrupted you, Jamel. I'm sorry. No, no. You did the right thing. You did the right thing. You got the finest presentation of the National

Basketball Association that has ever been put on television. Exactly. Give me the ball, and then I'm going to dunk it. Yeah. That's right. I get ball in the 90s.

It's NBC, man. It's NBC. It's inevitable. Shout out to Seinfeld, the Big Doc's t-shirt you get sign fell dude i get fresh prince you get fresh prince yeah fresh prince p-r-i-n-t-s shout out to that big dog t-shirt come on i get i get up all night the uh failed fresh prince spinoff wait what i think starring duane martin if i'm wrong it was supposed to be like a nightclub in the fresh prince universe whoa oh that's crazy yeah i also get in the house i mean come on you get there's just hits all over the place man you're getting us now i'm getting mart i get to watch martin get banned exactly from the network johnny carson

man you get the tonight show oh i didn't even think about late in the today show yeah i get kevin eubanks for all eternity do you get general hospital is that nbc oh i think those are all syndicated no no i think that might be um that might be abc i think i get um if i don't get general hospital i think i might get days of our lives you get packed you get another word or yeah you get days you get days i get days of all my children yeah holler at your broi oh my god you get law and order you get law and order and i had to and listen to me dog i don't even want nbc but i had to have law and order i had to have it that's yeah now i have it and i'm good for the rest of the draft i don't have these big dogs they gotta go so of course it hurts it hurts me to take it because i you know

hey man nbc also look man lame as hell yeah it's lame as hell i like american auto hey facts my beef with the big three is there's not a lot of movies on the on the big three well so that's you know it's because they're television channels yeah i know i know i'm saying i know i'm just i'm just saying tune in the grand crew while we're here yeah holler at the boys you You know what I'm saying? You also get, like, it's not my cup of tea, but you're getting friends in the office there, too. You know what I mean?

You're getting, like. I'm getting heavyweight girlfriend quality stuff. It is my cup of tea. You're getting 30 rock. Like, you're getting a deep. I'm getting joints, man. I'm getting joints, man. It's amazing. And it's just important.

Yeah. It's the 92 dream team. The starting five is strong. The bench is deep. Third rock from the sun. Third rock from the sun is like Bobby Jackson. it's amazing it's just important yeah it's the 92 dream team the starting five is strong the bench is deep third rock from the sun we not third rock from the sun is like bobby jackson it's like six man in a century man i got some crazy third rock for the from the sun stuff for you guys is that nbc though i think so john lithgow being nice i do love john lithgow it was nbc you were right i apologize it was the

bad guy in ricochet and then he plays the goofiest alien he's played rage fucking uh winston churchill before he was on the manhattan project yeah that man has range you just get it it's just it's just too vital. No, NBC's a solid pick. We used to be a fucking country. All this stuff was on network? I'm not going to be, I'm picking, yeah, I'm not picking, I'm picking best available. I'm not going to do some Washington Wizards bullshit and go overseas. No, no. When I got, you know what I'm saying?

Absolutely. I got to dunk, though. It's right here. I don't need Jon Vesely. I got him right here. NBC, fantastic pick time for mine first and second picks it is tough it is tough especially now those those big dogs out of the way all right i gotta go i gotta reach back i gotta reach back into

my childhood grab it i'm taking Nickelodeon Once we realized it was gonna be legacy stuff Yeah Gotta do it It's the best You can't do that on television Snick The fucking shopping sprees

I myself was a hey dude man Guts Oh man hey dude i forgot about hey dude salute your shorts oh we make you it makes you want to fart it make i hope we never fart donkey lip get it right or pay the price yeah nick ug yeah yeah pete and pete all fire pete and pete holds up to this day you could put you could throw some p some Pete and Pete on right now. Yeah. Oh, dude. They had a show back in the day. They had a Canadian soap opera called 15.

Joey Lauren Adams was on it. But it was like I was seven. And I'm like, oh, soap operas are fucking dope. So that was another ill one that you might have forgot about. Wienerville with Mark Wiener. Just throwing that out there. Yes. Just throwing that out there.

I'm fucking. I'm talking about Clarissa Explains out there i'm fucking i'm talking about clara explains it all yep i'm talking about keenan and kell oh good burger i do i do i do i do did they have all that did nickelodeon have all that they have all that they did didn't they they were all sad day it was a sad day when they made all that for white people it happened just in the middle like in the middle of the night like when the cults left baltimore you know that was one of the nice neil brennan's first riding job was all that for real yeah i that i don't know that's insane isn't that crazy that's nuts i don't get

how old he is i guess yeah that makes it's been around been around the end but we're also talking about fucking guts we're talking about Legends of the Hidden Temple. Dude, you have it. Guts. Legends of the Hidden Temple. Oh, they had that video. Wait, was that Legends of the Hidden Temple where you were in a real life video game for a part of it?

No. There was a video game one that was like that. Nick Arcade. Yeah. Where you stood and you had to duck and nobody could quite do it right. But as a kid, you're just like, I could fucking do that. I could do it. Put me on there. Put me in, coach. We also have Nick Jr. Shout out to Eureka's

Castle, Gullah Gullah Island. Rupert? I used to dress like Rupert. One year I started dressing like Rupert. I'm going to ask you a question. There's subdivisions of Nickelodeon that might now be different channels are you getting all of nickelodeon and everything that it was like at at i don't know i'm trying to

say this without saying the other picks but there's other ones that spun off into different channels i'm talking about if it well i don't know i'm talking about like noggin okay well yeah like i don't think i don't think nickelodeon turned into maybe what you think it did there's it did i was researching last we'll talk about we'll bring it up all right we'll see if it get when we get there but i'm talking about doug i'm talking about spongebob squarepants rugrats yeah fucking ren and stimpy rugrats yeah ren and stimpy transitioned over to mtv too so that's they're covering all these big channels all over the place i forgot that was mtv modern life oh god highly formative this was big tv watching time you weren't allowed to leave the house

this was the uh this was the other childhood network this was like i got home from school this is going on oh yeah oh yeah yeah yeah and then and then you'd watch some of the greats later you get some facts of life you get some uh andy griffith show oh you were up late i dream a genie night dude nick and i fucking get smart yeah yeah that's what i was talking about we're like oh tv oh you for sure get nick at night yeah nick and i turned into a different channel. So I was wondering if that kind of. You were going to try to take Nick at night?

Oh, that's crazy. I was going to mention it. You were going to try to Danny Ainge Nick at night? Absolutely not. Well, Nick at night was my shit. Cause that all like Donna Reed show, my three sons, Lancelot, Link, the monkeys, like all those Dobie Gillis. Well, if that was your shit, you should have taken Nickelodeon.

HBO was more my shit. Ian. I guess it just wasn't that. I guess it just wasn't your shit, you should have taken Nickelodeon. HBO was more my shit, Ian. Calm the fuck down. I guess it just wasn't your shit. One of us is wearing an Andy Griffith hat. The other was wearing a shirt from a college he didn't even go to. Nickelodeon. It's called Coming Up.

My wife graduated from that college. That's right. That counts. You married in. I'm a cat man getting a new roof on my house. I'm in her brother's ukulele den as we speak you better wear that shirt i apologize i take all that back i'm sorry you're right it's called a come up i used to wear dickies that were 15 sizes too big and here i am in someone else's guitar room so that's true look how far you can uh i've taken nickelodeon with my first

pick and i have to go i gotta go listen i'm staying i'm taking espn with my second pick sure damn good i think it's sports center alone center sports if we're talking about pure amount of time i have watched this network, especially if we're counting time when I've passed out on a hotel room bed and it played until I woke up. Yeah. Every hotel I go to on the road, I find ESPN first because I know it's going to be something palatable all 24 hours. It's like the one thing you know you're like,

okay, let me read this TV guide thing you have yeah 24-2 all right while i'm watching old super bowls on the background it's like the touchstone for just so you can go back to the room be like all right espn's on allow me to allow me to quote uh little wayne here from his from his seminal song uh from dedication to sports center uh-huh my favorite tv shows man man, is SportsCenter, ESPN News, Part of the Interruption, Around the Horn, Quite Frankly, Outside the Lines, Baseball Tonight. You hear me? I watch sports, dog.

That's basically what I'm trying to say. I watch sports, man. That's what I'm into. Sports, sports, sports, every sport. Hockey, golf, basketball, football, of course. Baseball, you hear me? I got a favorite team, a favorite player in every single sport. I'm not

going to answer those questions. Let's go. Yeah, I hear you. Yeah. I don't know what I have to say. I like the Little League World Series. You hear me? World Series of Poker. World Series of series of poker i'm watching i'm watching the world axe throwing

championships man yeah they've recently they've recently added cornhole yeah cornhole's on tv now i was watching celebrity cornhole dude the situation situation the situation was playing cornhole on my tv we gotta be famous enough to be involved in celebrity cornhole hard man i don't know i'm no i'm no situation that's true you are a situation you're great you're a great situation i sat right next to your boy the situation at the only ufc fight that i've ever been to him and him and your girl snucky were right in front of us man uh i mean i don't know what there is to say about ESPN. Like, pardon the interruption.

Is maybe the show outside the SportsCenter, because of course, but like, that show is the tale of my adult life. When it goes off the air, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Like, it started late high school. It ain't going off the air. Those guys are going to die eventually. Are they going to replace him? Yeah. They might.

Shout out to Mina Kimes. They put Katie Nolan on our TV first. Or no, I guess Fox did. And then ESPN fucking blew it, actually. All right, fuck ESPN. It's a complicated job. It's a complicated job. That's what I'm saying.

Sometimes you got to pick things. And it's tough. They've done a complicated look that's what i'm saying sometimes you gotta pick things and it's tough they've done some things that you don't appreciate but when you really get down to it i could put sports center on my tv for 12 straight hours anytime all the time anytime and you're gonna feel like home it's always interesting it can be in the background when you got people chilling too because it's always interesting especially top 10 all that you know highlights by the third time i see those rockies highlights it's time to leave the house yeah it's time to get out gotta get out of here it's time to get out college game day is great their nba coverage so put on one of those stupid helmets come on god damn it you're up in the

morning with a breakfast watching college game day unbelievable oh god yeah with the continental breakfast and espn to go together it's a championship combination yeah hand it in yeah yep yep yep one day they'll nail their you know any bar you go to where you're like okay oh it's all if you go to a bar by yourself oh okay sport espn is over there you're watching some weird you come like you're watching like Boise State playing Hawaii. The score is 71 to 60. You know what I mean? Like it's the third quarter.

You're in the doctor's office waiting to see if you got the clapper. It's just a rash. What's up there? Sport center. Sage Steele. Getting you through it. Take me away woody page uh so espn jamel time to be a second pick i'll get right to it black entertainment television had to get to it quick because david's right there he's coming around the corner i was going

to take it next bt gotta have it uh um you know got to have it teen summit uh video soul come on cita's world what are we talking about uh thea uh the brandy norwood's acting debut i was when i was fucking writing down the shit i want i was like remember when thea was on there all the time? People don't even realize BET, the head offices are in DC. They're in PG County. I didn't know that. The BET soundstage is right next to the USA Arena, guys.

Which is now the shopping center with the Magic Johnson Theater. I think. Anyway, listen, man. That's the mall we're going to get Sean's Carl Canaya at. Yeah. The original host, Joe Clare, DC legend. Rap City? Yeah.

Man, remember when he- Come on, Rap City, the basement. When he interviewed Jay-Z in the helicopter? Yes, I remember when he interviewed Jay-Z in the helicopter. It was right after Jay-Z had started waking up at 5 a.m. doing boxing training every day. Come on. Listen, man, then Rap City, the basement is a whole nother i don't even want to believable 106 and park yeah ah 106 and park come on where's aj and free where are they hits from the street man hits from the street

the top 25 moves the top 25 cap i mean comic view come get your laugh on coming at you six nights a week get your laugh on you couldn't see six nights a week, get your laugh on. You couldn't see Tip Drill on Nickelodeon. I'll say that. You could. Man, P.E.T. Unbelievable. That was my awakening.

Unbelievable. Man, talk about shows you had to watch four inches from the television set. Spring Bling. Black Spring Break. Daytona, Florida. College Hill? You remember College college hill of course i remember college hill yeah bt man good for you guys and now the miss pat show hey a hit and i mean all the mini moves all the all the all the all the mini series new edition story is fantastic the tlc one tlc story yeah that what did bt have uh the hip hopper on it carmen

no that was mtv all right whack you fan you fan your spot hey yeah i got bt i'm taking bt no it's a great pick fantastic fantastic uh sean jordan time for your second pick uh it's getting now it's getting tough for me i don't know i don't have any like any more that are big hitters that i give a shit about so uh i'm gonna go comedy central all right hey no okay hey listen go comedy central respect respect the brain just like oh you know oh geez i was a little older when I started watching comedy. When did Comedy Central start? It's like the late 80s. It used to be Comedy Time or something like that.

And then they bought it. That logo from the 90s, man. The globe with the buildings on it. That was the dream. Comedy Central had so much to do. And I'm sure all of us, obviously. But it had so much to do. After I started stand-up, I was glued to it.

Because for a while, when I started stand-up it was like i was glued to it because i for a while like before when i started to stand up really before the internet was like everywhere that was how you got like your intro to these comics that were getting on tv and stuff oh premium blend like like they've all comedy central's always had a stand-up show they don't right now but they've always had one like where you could go do a three four minute set or something and they were trying to do like variety shows the comedy central presents music just popped into my head out of nowhere that fucking saxophone it's wild i mean for a while that was like that was that was it like that was where you went i'm sorry saxophone the comedy instrument

it just is though snl comedy central i got chills yeah yeah yeah i used to love that shit yeah because it sounds like chris tucker it's the instrument that sounds the most like chris tucker the saxophone and sean you get the snl reruns too because remember they had they used to play every episode you get the voice of david borey yeah david and kyle in there yeah um south park obviously me and penn gillette and kyle yeah and kyle canane and mark man yeah a lot i mean a lot of dang shit can't peel uh yeah the rules oh yeah fantastic the daily show i mean yeah all of it the colbert report you know what I mean? I watched Craig Kilborn.

I'll even watch some Craig Kilborn. I don't give a fuck. Those were great, too. Oh, dude, The Soup with Aisha Tyler. Who's the other guy? John Hansen? Is that his name? He was the original host of The Soup back in the day.

Or Talk Soup, whatever it used to be called. South Park, bruv? Yeah. Reno 911? Yeah. Reno 911? Yeah. And again, not to mention all the movies. Like Hangover and all that shit. Like Strangers with Candy, fucking Workaholics, man.

They're fantastic. Chappelle's Show? But yeah. A lot of work. A lot of high quality work. For the sake of time. Comedy Central. All right.

Yeah, it's great. Comedy Central. Great pick. David, time for your second and third right. Yeah. Comedy Central. Great pick. David, time for your second and third picks. Oh, now we're getting tough. It's tricky. Now we're getting tough on the boys. I don't give a shit about the big ones, man.

It's okay. That's my pick. I know. I know it is. Hurtful. I'm taking, you know what? It's weird to get this this early because it seems like it was a later pick but when you hear the hits on it i'm taking a and e oh what so much shit cold case the first 48 intervention hoarders storage wars 60 days in growing up Duck Dynasty Did you just take a call? What do you mean you're out for it?

I have a barbecue getting delivered today and they like Is that your big green egg? We've missed the last few delivery windows so I'm trying Hold on, give me one second Also, an evening at the improv was on AF&E.

People forget that. Caroline's Comedy Hour. Dude, King of Queens is on their news radio. They got all the CSIs on. Statler Brothers back in the day. A&E, and when you're in the hotel room, and you decided not to go to the art museum that day, because the early show is a little earlier than you

thought you just need some time for you yeah throw on a and e bro i watch a it's like i feel like because of streaming we watch a lot of it just i mean intervention one second that's that in and of itself that in hoarders hours hours of my days of my life is this even a network yeah i think yeah i think it's still on actual tv if you've got cable they had biography right yeah that was that was the first thing that biography first 48 uh that was the first stuff i got on intervention early yeah but like yeah i But, like, yeah, I love it, dude. Intervention was wild. I remember that early.

It was crazy because it was, like, the first time I had ever seen some shit on TV where I was like, I've seen that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very real. The girl that would, like, huff the duster, the computer duster, that stuff. That one was famous. That was gnarly. That one was famous.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, that shit's Buck, man. Come on, man. Buck Williams. Yeah. Oof on man yeah good call and your third pick man this is weird because

this list is going very personal so I'm just going to do it I got to take it back to what I was watching a lot of late 90s early a channel that was number two in washington state i'm taking the wb oh i thought i was gonna get that late the parenthood smart guy the jamie foxx show buffy the vampire slayer sister sister sabrina the steve Sister Sister Sabrina The Steve Harvey Show Seventh Heaven Dawson's Creek

Felicity Come on, man Waynehead The short-lived Damon Wayans cartoon Yo, Waynehead rules Waynehead Waynehead The party's just begun

I mean, Charmed Smallville I didn't watch that Reba Charmed is crazy You remember Reba? I used to watch Smallville Looking I didn't watch that. Reba? Charmed is crazy. You remember Reba? I used to watch Smallville. Looking like a snack. Grounded for life.

The Wayans Brothers. They had it. The WB was a piggy in the brain Animaniacs. The Wayans Brothers show. Oh, Animaniacs. Yeah, man. Gilmore. Fucking Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls was on there. Wow. Tiny Toon Adventures. No, the WB really held it down

The WB man Did the Wayans brothers work at a Fucking magazine stand in the show Yeah and then their dad owned The restaurant next door Pops That's what it was But they worked at the magazine stand in the lobby Dude Marlon Wayans is doing this transition now

He's like a burly tough guy Like he was in the Shitty remake of the Fresh Prince but have you seen Marlon Wayans is doing this transition now. He's like a burly, tough guy. He was in that shitty remake of The Fresh Prince, but have you seen Marlon Wayans lately in anything? No, I have not. He's like bassy and dark and brooding kind of. It's interesting. He's definitely doing some brooding on that Fresh Prince. He was always brilliant.

He's always brooding for days. He was always in shape, but now he's thick. I don't know. It's a fun thing he's doing. Anyway, this isn't about Marlon Wayans. It's about wb this whole podcast yeah that's true i mean back to episode one yeah he is the most talented wayans yeah yeah that's a that's a joke from okay that's hilarious but also I don't. You don't remember that?

I'm not going to let you. Cedric and LaVita realize they're in love because they both think Marlon is the most talented one. Who do you think, Damon? Damon. Keenan. Keenan. Keenan Ivory. How did Keenan set the whole play up?

You're insane. Keenan got to Hollywood first, set the whole shit up to put his entire family on God level Keenan Ivory for sure I'm gonna get you sucka or Kim Kim was very funny also shout out to LaVita Alizé Jenkins

man just good stuff over there on the WB and now it's time for us to take a short break Sean this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by schedule there on the WV. And now it's time for us to take a short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Schedule 35, our partner in getting things done. Imagine if you could, let me just take you on a walk. You got a tool, sharpens your focus. It's going to clear your mind up. It's going to keep your

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all fantasy on Jordan time for your third pick WB off the board third pick I'm going something that I don't know probably in the teens I got super into it's just always had interesting shit and then it got me with gangland a pick in the history channel oh yeah

the history channel no watched a lot of ganglands yeah yeah i that show i don't know it real hard i love that show the one about the crips in alaska oh my god dude i used to love that that was like one of my first jokes it was about the crips in alaska shout out to old boy from denver who got paid off of them it's like that show climbed in it's like what do you want like that that's what i want it climbed into my brain this is what you all the way to explaining the the slang terms where i'm like i know what it means to get murked i already knew that but go ahead and explain it to everybody else. Rap music talk. But they had like everything. I mean, all the history shit that like,

I think is super me, that everybody thinks is super interesting. Like Vietnam and color, shit like that. It always is fascinating just to see. Or like. That show is crazy. All of them are,

man. Like. That show, Vietnam and color is really wild. We can't, Zach came home to the crib one time at the Fortress of Solid Dudes and Netflix had just put on like that, something like that, like World world war ii in color and he goes who the fuck would watch this

and i was like i just watched all of it like yesterday i'm into that stuff too that was i love it man it's interesting i'm not gonna say the other networks because i don't even know history channel was around at that point but like that was what i watched as a kid well and then they'll do like reenactments of you know the history channel when they started they started uh bouncing on the handlebars a little bit it'd be like a reenactment of jesus carrying the cross or something and you're like okay yeah i'll see it did like really swing where you'd be in the mood watching one thing and then they'd be like okay now here's accounts of whether or not the virgin mary were real and you're like wow then they do like dinos the dinosaur shows and like they hit the the space shows and stuff like i think you can track the fall of the american empire from when the history channel went from showing like

historical documentaries to like my 600 paneled life and shit like that well that's a different that's a that's a different network but you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah i know what you're saying but like history channel had like the universe, which is dank. So just all of it. But that's centered around gangland. I love that show. So History Channel. The Hitler Channel. You got it.

Fuck you. No, they show a lot of Hitler stuff. What do you want from me? No, I want you to be my friend. I'm saying I picked the Hitler Channel. You picked the Hitler Channel and then you say fuck you to the only Jewish guy on this podcast? Interesting. Although I don't really.

Jamal, I don't know how you uh you you know you you could be jewish hey listen man i was i was looking into i was up at the center looking into conversion we'd love to have you i just took a i just took a couple pamphlets that's where it's gonna ask three times and you're in all right uh time for your third pick speaking of three times uh i'm gonna take the exact opposite of gangland and i'm gonna take home and garden television yeah damn hgtv come on yeah yeah i mean home renovation television love it or list it might be one of the best shows ever fucking made oh my god they just the you could tell by a a lady's face if she really likes this shit or if

she doesn't and that is so it's just so important to me david and hillary have to kiss at some point hgtv is you can't also you can't date you can't have a girlfriend you can't date a human being without hgtv being a part of y'all's rotation right right and it all hits at the height of covid dana and i went on a road trip from la to portland also in the winter this was like in december and we were gonna try to make it in one push it's like a 15 hour drive and we stopped three hours short of portland at a hotel and we went in there and it was creepy because it was like an empty hotel everything was covered in plastic it was real weird uh and we got in there and we threw on hgtv and there was a flip or flop marathon which the hosts of that show are more fucking compelling than any like than than anybody on mad men or like sorry to say pics but like any anything on hbo anything on any nickelodeon show just throw mine

in there too they're fucking like they're a couple that was married and then were divorced and also he would like he like she pressed charges against him but the whole time they kept doing this weird real estate show like fucking crazy the whole time and they're just picking the best thing to have on when you're killing a hitchhiker you know what i mean flip flop yeah 100 true dog yeah i didn't know about backsplashes until the hgtv what's an ensuite i know now i now. I wouldn't have before. Fuck. I just, man, some of, and also just some of the best homes, some of the ugliest homes, some of the happiest people. It's just also nice to just see a wife happy. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They walk into that new kitchen with the island in it. People start crying. And this lady starts crying. She's like, oh my god. The kids' toys aren't going to be next to my shit anymore.

That's what's happening. Yeah. Kevin Garnett winning the NBA championship wasn't happier than some of the people on HGTV when they get a breakfast nook. Breakfast nook would be dope. nook could be dope it's just nice it's just nice to see joy and also i love a little hate watch too i live in la and people

are buying five bedroom houses in north carolina come on for for 250k you pieces of shit you don't even know what i'm dealing with? Big rooms, too. Those rooms aren't small like in LA. Those are big rooms. I don't know if this mud room is sufficient. Do you have a mud room in your... Do you understand what a mud room goes for in Los Angeles County? We all lived in mud rooms.

We had 2,400 a month in the valley. I slept in a mud room. The Fortress of Solitude was three mud rooms and a kitchenette. Kid in the valley in the mud room the fortress of solid dude was three mud rooms and a kitchenette kidding me bro she's outrageous there were i could hear raccoons scratching on the walls like most nights what was that we don't know it was a small house he's under the house either way something was trying to get out or get in i don't know half the names of the shows i'm watching but but I know what I'm going to see. Somebody who has a fucked up looking bathroom and then somebody is going to come fix the shit.

And then there's going to be a fake problem in the middle. They're going to be like, hey, we had a problem. Then they're going to go to commercial break. And then they're going to be like, actually. I'm running out of tiles. Yeah. The problem is pretend as fuck. Yeah.

The house always gets finished the inspector found something oh yeah yeah oh man you see you got um you got squirrels you got squirrels putting up tents all in this area so we gotta like we actually have to pay them to evict the squirrels it's gonna take a little more paperwork and then they're back up i guess you gotta do what you gotta do and then they finish the shit and then everybody cries at the end it's love yeah it's going to take a little more paperwork and then they're like oh I guess you gotta do what you gotta do and then they finish the shit and then everybody cries at the end it's lovely it's beautiful Squirrel's got a lawyer it's complicated

it's really every genre TV HGTV time for my next pick I've talked about what's on when I get home drunk after the stand up comedy show but when I get to that hotel when I get to that hotel you when I get to that hotel, you can find me watching the Guy Fieri Network.

Oh, yeah. AKA the Food Network. Come on. Easy money. Easy money shooter. It's tough because I got to be able to get food. I don't. It's tough to watch later.

No, it doesn't. It's tough for me. I always want to eat i'm good i do i always want to but i found in my in my journey to being a less fat dude uh still fat less fat i don't need to be able to eat it to watch it i can still have a good time i can watch ace of cakes and not need to eat a cake i can watch bobby flay on any of his iterations of television without having to... I can watch Giada De Laurentiis without having to have a beautiful pasta dish.

Yeah. I fucking love it. The original Iron Chef was on there too. Fucking fantastic. They're all just kind of different versions of the same show, and i love all of them yeah all all rule dude diners what is it diners diners drive-ins and dives yeah yeah triple d they're just they're just on there cooking i want to watch all of it i want to

watch chopped i want to watch the food competition shows i want to watch guy theory go to eat like restaurants i want to go back to rachel rush 30 a day you know like way back in the day i want to watch like the old school cooking shows where it was just julia child knockoffs of like different like every year uh my stepdad growing up was a chef so i it was like always on and i always loved it was it like emerald legassi what did he start on the food network bang yeah that was the food that was the first. I mean, he started in the streets of New Orleans, but yeah, he... Well, right.

Yeah. He's from the block, but yeah, technically. Yeah, that's where he got on TV. Don't ask him if he started on the Food Network.

He'll have something to say about it. He didn't know the cameras were on. It's just always good. I just always love the Food Network and in the interest of time,

I mean, if nobody else is going to take it, I got to take the home team. The Columbia Broadcasting System. America's number one network. America's Tiffany Network. I honestly, I love NCIS. I fucking love all the NCIS shows, all the Chicago shows shows the people who signed

Ian Carmel's checks for the last seven years Chicago's on NBC but the checks still clear don't act like the checks didn't clear but I'll tell you what CBS has done throughout history if you have a minute oh yeah if you got

a second we're talking about like I love Lucy we're going back we're going back that far we're talking about like i love lucy we're going back we're going back that far we're talking about i want to be in the show we're talking about get smart originally we're talking about the jeffersons we're like i mean classic classic fucking television on cbs we're talking about david letterman haters it runs deep. Hitters. We're talking about the late show with James Corden. Hitters. FBI, the equalizer. Queen Latifah rocks, dog.

Queen Latifah and I are co-workers? Is that what we're talking about right now? Sounds like it. Queen Latifah does her own stunts, fool. Yeah. What? Yes. She's really hopping off the bike. Punching fools, man. I love it. Never thought it was. I love it. I love it.

That's real. Never thought it was. We're talking about fantastic football coverage. We're talking about college basketball. We're talking about fucking March Madness for a while there. We're talking about like just, I mean, now even. We're talking about March Madness. We're talking about the SEC football, college football's crown jewel.

We're just like fucking everything. i want cbs is doing it has been you're you're gonna find me watching it for like eight hours on a sunday it's that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah big three big three destination programming we're talking the people who gave alfred hitchcock a tv show we're talking about perry mason sean yeah no i know i'm trying to get my next pick here uh perry mason's all over the place perry mason's on like five he's on all of our channels the hawaii five yes that's everywhere uh i could go on luke shout out to lou grant jamal time for your fourth pick. Oh, shit. Okay, I'm up. All right. I'm going to take this one. Turner Network Television. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Give me TMT. Everything on a Sunday. Oh, yeah. Inside the NBA is the funniest television show ever produced. I don't want to hear about Bob Newhart. None of them niggas, bro. Nothing is funnier.

Yeah. Dude, Inside the NBA. I don't want to hear about bob newhart i'm just picturing two dudes going at it over lunch about inside the nba and bob newhart just like pros and cons you tell me look there's two kinds of people anyway tnt and look and you can throw it on all day as soon as inside the n NBA is done, get some Charmed when you wake. Oh, yeah. I love the playoffs when I pass out, and then I wake up and Charmed is on. Oh, it's the best.

It makes me feel safe and warm. They got Rizzoli and Isles over there. Hella movies. They're serving up random. Bad Boys 2 is on probably 25 times a year. Constantly. Saving Private Ryan every Sundayay it's great it's great you get the rush hour every now and then again it's great leverage filmed in portland

oregon was the tnt special hey shout out to leverage i fuck with a little leverage he'll go ahead and throw you like a money train though sometimes too they'll oh yeah like they'll take the ones that like don't necessarily make it onto the other hangover networks you know so it's yeah i like a tnt yeah tnt rules and wrestling wcw i get years i get the fucking you know what i'm saying what is it the bash at the beach i'm getting bash at the beach coverage they do it all come on come the hell on it all and they used to have a gilligan's island on in the morning back in the day our old tnt was like it'd be cartoons and like gilligan islands reruns yeah yeah that's how i knew i was late for school yeah it was just a well-curated network you know what i mean you were in safe hands for sure ted turner ted turner network television sean george your fourth pick uh cartoon network

i gotta go pick a cartoon network specifically because of adult swim yeah for like my 20s most like 20 to 26 probably adult swim was like rant it ran my tv watching because i wasn't watching a ton of tv but it's like aquatine the frack show space ghost uh sea lab all that shit dude and then you get reruns of classics you get like king of the hills on there now and all that so uh yeah man cartoon network for days really just for adult swim because it is still it just holds up adventure time too as a you know great shows one then there were funny, weird ones in there like Metalocalypse and just those shows where you're like, damn, they just did tons of mushrooms

and made a show, and here it is. I like to call it Lost Wages. It's from a Cartoon Network show, like Whiskey Tango, I think it was called or something like that. I like to call it Lost Wages. You made that up, my friend. I lost about 800 bucks there. No big. Anyway, Cartoon Network, that's number four

all right david time for your fourth and then your final picks i will remind you there's a lightning round for the final round okay fourth pick i gots to go discovery channel we ain't nothing but mammals shark week baby all that shit so much fun how it's made mythbusters this was also gonna be my day shout out to the bay area punch a shark in the nose right there yeah man it was it was like one of the early channels that i started that was outside my because growing up you have like your 10 and then like yeah branching out discovery was the beginning of branching out yeah so yeah discovery and then my lightning round pick i gotta take it open upn oh whoa the vibe talk show come on come on kidding hosted by sinbad

the god himself one of the finest chris benzer slid in there do the parker's moesha one-on-one veronica mars the secret diary of desmond pfeffer that's the slavery show the huglies half and half come on yeah grown-ups girlfriends Ian's dealing drugs again It's so tight to see He looks like he's selling mid in like Brooklyn in 96 It's got Wu-Tang in the headphones Serious business

If your baggage didn't make the connecting flight That's not my fucking problem is it I hope the money's in your wallet Cause you're going to need that when you get to the crib oh man also the weekenders pepper and recess a lot of great stuff on upn upn united paramount network john jordan time for your final pick uh i gotta i gotta go with what i like if i'm down in my core what do i like to see on tv and it's fx it's like dumb guy shit. Oh, yeah. I love it. FX isn't dumb guy shit. Atlanta's on FX.

Is it really? It is, huh? I always think it's on. I always think Hulu. Yeah, FX is quality, dog. Yeah. I mean, yeah, like Fargo. I like American Horror Story and all the fucking Michael Bay movies and shit they play on there.

I like it a lot. You're a movie guy. Yeah. Right up my alley i love it uh what we do in the shadows is an fx show people like snowfall oh so but i keep screwing up because i watch them on hulu so i i forget that they have to be on a network somewhere so yeah yeah fx i guess not as bad as i thought tight well hulu makes original programming as well but like i know but they're not a tv channel the first season of that show legion was crazy yeah oh yeah that was like a mar that was like a marvel show right wasn't it like mutants

yeah this was intense damn fx baby great pick jamel your final your final pick okay uh damn this is so hard you know what i'm gonna? I'm going to do it because I'm Mr. International. Player with a passport? Univision. Univision. Sabado y Gante. Peace to the God, Don Francisco. Gordo y Placa.

Come on, doce corazones. Yeah, baby. I get soccer. I get Champions League without a streaming password i get the mexican league you know i'm saying i get some europa ball and yeah i ensure telemundo gets premier league but i don't give a fuck about that technically i get that because i got nbc anyway so shut your ass up anyway i'm taking univision shout out to all

the ladies who was working at uh master's tuxedo who taught me how to uh dry clean and press clothing hey shout out to univision too i used to work in that building for like four months oh yeah over there uh by the airport yeah yeah yeah yeah i worked in i worked in i was i was in the belly of the beast. Tried to holler at Flaca. She wasn't into it. You can find my final pick

joining the network wars late. Taking Fox. Jess Fox. Oh yeah, come on. The Simpsons. King of the Hill. The NFL robot. Oh, come on the simpsons king of the hill cleveland the nfl robot oh come on family guy right yeah fantastic nfl programming single i don't even feel yeah married with children new york undercover models married with children maybe i don't know if they had models

but yeah mr personality they had that one with uh what's her face uh lewinsky remember the reality show with monica oh yeah true crime story whatever king of the hill baby x files x files it's a great it's a great fucking network yeah yeah yeah it's amazing the best part getting nods picked some super bowls uh yeah that's my final pick that means that's the final pick of the draft. John Madden was over there. Yeah. Strong.

They kept John Madden in buses until the end of his illustrious life. Marissa, do you have a final pick? My pick was selected by David. It is the Discovery Channel. Unlike Mythbusters alone, but you also get How It's Made, BattleBots, Dirty Jobs, Top Gear, Planet Earth. Man, shout out to Mike Rowe. And he was just educational seeming enough

that your parents would let you watch it for a very long time. Yeah. It's 299 episodes, and I can't believe you don't know this yet. Now, when a pick has been taken, Marissa, you can't take it. Well, I'm standing by this because it's a good pick, and I can't think of anything else. All right. All right.

Can I get WGN six? Just because. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe I didn't pick WGN. Cubbies baseball. I thought you were going to pick the CW. To recap,

David, you went first. You took MTV, A&E, the WB, Discovery Channel, and UPN. Sean,

you went second. You took the Homebox Office, Comedy Central, the History Channel, Cartoon Network, and FX. Jamel, you went third. took the home box office comedy central the history channel cartoon network and fx jamel you went third you took nbc bet hgtv tnt and univision i went last i took nickelodeon espn food network cbs and fox got the nfl pretty much locked down there yes honestly not a lot left on the board not a lot cinem Cinemax, shout out to like real softcore porn. Yeah.

TV One. Yeah. Showtime. WGM is a solid, because you get the Bulls games too. And Family Matters. What else did we miss? USA. My sixth big one would have been PBS.

Shout out to Antiques Roadshow. Oh, Wishbone. Everything Ken Burns is doing. Wishbone. Bounce TV. Oh my God, Wishbone. Everything Ken Burns is doing. Wishbone. Bounce TV. Oh my God, Wishbone. That channel that's on the gas stations. That channel that's on the cabs. Both of those. Oh my God, yeah.

ABC, I guess. The Disney channel. Shout out to all of them. We want to hear your picks. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter. All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. Thank you so much for holding us down, keeping us in LaCroix's.

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