All Fantasy Everything - TV Shows to Have On In The Background (w/ Logan Guntzelman, David Gborie, Sean Jordan)
Episode Date: May 20, 2021Listen to this podcast, pick a show, throw it on, and then listen to it again. The gang are joined by comedian and writer Logan Guntzelman! Episode Guest:Logan Guntzelman @adirtyguntz IG...: @placesitookashitthisyearSupport the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbags, watchalongs, and video pre-rolls. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch: teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything
from the world of pop culture.
On today's episode, we're drafting TV shows to have on in the background.
Our guest today is comedian and writer Logan Gunselman.
Logan currently serves as a consulting producer for SyFy's The Movie Show, and her comedy album Today's Top Hits was recently released by a Special Things record.
In addition to being a stand-up comedian, Logan is a notorious prankster, with several of her pranks going viral, even appearing on the Columbia Broadcasting System local news.
Now, I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and we're joined, as always, by my friends and
comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. For God's sake, let's do it.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything,
the podcast that is wearing cream on cream right now.
Yeah, man.
You look like you're in a Jodeci video.
I was waiting to say it.
You do.
You look like you're producing a Jodeci video.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
If the mustache were a little thinner, I could be in the Jodeci video, I think.
Oh, yeah.
You definitely look like you're from a different country.
That kind of cream.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's the beige they don't make in the States.
Yeah, that's international beige.
I can imagine you having very tan ankles and you never wear socks with your
shoes with that sort of you know what i think about is i think of the manager and a star is
born when you say that because he would always sit with his legs crossed and his pants would
come up no socks super nice shoes and it just bugged the shit out of me is this the new stars
the new one yeah yeah because i don. Yeah. Sorry to get real serious.
Isn't that the fourth one?
Yeah.
Are you talking about the manager in the new Starzborn?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, scumbag.
You remind me of that guy.
I think you look like a piece of shit.
He uses Bradley Cooper to kill himself.
You remember that guy?
Fuck, dude.
He literally convinces him to kill him.
Well, you remind me of that guy who takes his place in the Grammys leading to one of his lowest moments.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Does he kill himself in all the Starz's Borns?
I feel like it makes sense, yes, but also it seems wild that a movie from the 30s had suicide in it.
Yeah, right? Didn also it seems wild that a movie from the 30s had suicide in it. Yeah, right?
Didn't the government forbid that?
I mean, it's still a crime, right?
Yeah.
I feel like the government would have some opinions on your beige, but you don't seem to care about that.
I don't care which government.
As long as it's not the Bolivian government, I don't care what government has to say anything about that.
David, how was it there?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You don't? You didn't go to Bolivia? No, I don't care what government has to say anything about that. David, how was it there? I don't know what you're talking about. You don't?
You didn't go to Bolivia?
No, I don't.
We have a long-running inside joke on this podcast that we have some sort of illegal dealings in Bolivia.
Which we don't.
No, we don't.
No, we don't.
I mean, immediately, you guys are a little defensive about it, so it makes me feel like questioning.
We would be defensive about it if it was based in truth at all,
but it's not based in truth.
Defensive about what?
I mean, it's fucking bullshit.
Not that it's true, but why there of all places?
Why would it not?
I don't know why.
I don't even know.
If it was like an easy place to sort of smuggle tropical fish out of. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not. I don't know why. I don't even know. If it was like an easy place to sort of smuggle like tropical fish out of.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's not.
Whoa.
It's not.
And ivory into?
Like if it were that kind of place.
If they can do that kind of thing.
Oh, the reverse ivory smuggle?
It's the reverse ivory trade.
Yeah.
Ivory for tropical fish?
Yeah.
They melt it down.
It does look like you say the word ivory a lot because of your outfit.
Oh, that is true.
You look like a poacher.
Yeah.
Also, I think you look very nice.
I just want to say I like roasting you, but you do look nice.
No, roast away.
I like it.
No, it's a good poach.
You have a tiger as a rug for sure.
Thank you.
Can I say something that maybe puts my character into question?
Yeah.
I don't think saying I look like a poacher is necessarily an insult or a criticism.
I don't think it is either.
I don't think it is.
They are always wearing beige.
Yeah.
They're probably wealthy, you know.
You don't become a poacher like to not make money.
I'm a higher up the ladder poacher.
Like I'm a poacher who keeps some of it.
I don't just move the product.
I'm not like a middle.
I'm not like a warehouse.
No,
you poach for sport.
You poach for sport.
Yeah.
Locals poach for money.
You poach,
poach for sport.
You travel to do it.
You travel to,
you,
you have a poach trip,
not to Bolivia.
A poach trip.
I would never travel,
but why would I travel to Bolivia to poach rare,
you know,
macaws? No, man. Noach rare, you know, macaws?
No, no, no, no, not macaws.
Can you eat parrot?
Is that a way to start?
Is that a way to start this podcast?
Oh, I know you can eat pigeon, which I haven't.
But I immediately in my head was like, I would.
I would try.
I would try parrot.
I would.
A hundred percent.
I would.
There's not.
I'd try everything. You it's you're hard pressed to find something. I would be. I wouldn try parrot. I would. A hundred percent. I would. There's not that I'd try everything.
You,
it's your hard press to find something.
I would be,
I wouldn't try.
Leafy greens.
No,
I appreciate you to check your tone.
I steamed broccoli the other day.
I steamed some green beans.
I'm out here,
man.
Wow.
I got a daughter on the way,
dog.
I got a,
you know,
dude out here steaming beans.
Yeah.
You got to steam beans for babies.
Yeah.
Just, you mash them up and I don't know, you know, I don't know what you do.
You mash stuff.
That's like some 1920s wisdom.
Like, ah, babies like steamed beans.
Yeah, so you're saying that you steamed green beans that you're going to then mash for yourself.
Yeah, and I'm going to give them to my baby daughter before she goes to work.
So you're saying you're making your own baby food?
Yeah, dude.
No, it's not.
I didn't get the containers from Bolivia or anywhere near Bolivia.
But yeah, I got them.
They're ivory.
Are you really going to make baby food, though, for that kid?
No, I was doing a bit.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it was a little thing. Just to snap back to reality baby food, though, for that kid? No, I was doing a bit. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
Yeah, it was a little thing.
Just to snap back to reality, oops, there goes gravity.
I have parrots in my backyard.
Yeah, that's rad.
Are they wild or are they your pet?
I think they're wild. I think there's some wild parrots.
I live in Atwater Village in LA, and I think there's just a flock of wild parrots, and
they've been fucking getting down on my loquat tree.
Well, sure. Everyone wants to get down on a loquat that makes that a squat that sounds like you're working
out get down on my loquat if you see a loquat tree you're gonna get down on it parrot or otherwise
you uh do you walk out to them and say how's it yeah going huh you know i'm talking about
one of those laid-back jokes with my leg in the shot.
For the listeners at home,
Sean Jordan has his leg pretty high up in the shot.
I would describe your... Didn't mean to.
Up into a moment ago, I would describe your...
By the way, sit like that if you want.
I don't think anyone was bummed about your leg.
Felt weird.
Kind of like there's only two of us at a campfire
and we're right on the verge of getting into it.
It's how I would describe your boat.
And I'm just sitting there like, you know, I really don't even care that I'm getting divorced.
It's probably good.
It's probably for the better.
I think it's going to be, I think we're both going to be better off.
And she's like, her and Steve are good.
So I'm cool with it.
And we're going to split custody of Charlemagne.
So it should be all good there.
I get the boat.
She gets the house, but the boat's pretty big. So that's fun. fun you could live on that boat but she can't take the house on the lake
so exactly so when that house has one gear the boat's got seven baby
half bath too so yeah the whole lake is a bath technically so i'm saying yeah fun bath you're
coming out on top sean hey that
guy coming out on top of the divorce is sean jordan by the way sean is jordan on twitter
sean cougar melon jordan on instagram that app damn right damn right that one how are you man
uh you look good you look healthy i thanks man i just went to physical therapy today i'm setting
up a bunch of baby we finally started setting up the baby stuff uh we gave her
her own cupboard with all of her cool like new dishes she's got matching dishes and uh this is
funny laura was saying don't tell us something's funny you say it and then we'll we'll let you know
bro okay well you let me know if this is funny so i'm putting the dishes in the cupboard and i was
like man i wish we had like dope new dishes and i'm putting the dishes in the cupboard and i was like
man i wish we had like dope new dishes and laura's like we can use those and i go we sure can can't
we i just looking at them like they were just for the baby but they're glasses and bowls i can use
them all i want so i'm excited you can use all the baby stuff i can't their little spatula spoon
when does it doesn't it not need that for a while yeah right so we're just yes so now right
now i have new dishes for me to use so you could tap in and use them until for dinner or just you
could lie and be like we didn't get you dishes sorry they how are they gonna know they're a baby
i up until this moment i didn't know you needed to get new dishes for a baby. So there's no way the baby's going to know.
Yeah.
I don't think, I'll tell you this.
I don't think you do, but the all family is strong.
And the baby list got snagged up pretty quick.
So we threw dishes on there as a, you know, people were asking for more stuff from the baby list.
Would you say additional?
Yeah, additional.
I would.
Are they littler than than big people
no they're not they're they're just like small big people plates so they're just
wait so are they small or are they normal size smaller it's like you know how there's like you'll
have your butter plate that's like i think their version of a baby's dinner so it's like for a
tapas restaurant but yeah for your house so you got
your baby appetizer plates maybe after this divorce is finalized i'll open up a tapas
restaurant on my boat with my new dishes tight i feel like you're skirting the issue of you just
these are just dishes you just got new dishes you guys are making me sweat they're baby dishes
they're baby dishes that can also be used as it's like like I could drink Coca-Cola out of a bottle if I wanted to.
So you can use it for adult stuff.
Why don't you throw a baby Jeep Grand Cherokee on there too?
Get yourself some new wheels.
A baby PS5?
I think what you're dancing around is a little something called fraud yeah
spoken like a man wearing different colors of cream on the same torso
yeah he would know he would be like look i've been there before you're saying they're dishes
for your baby we all know they're not just for your baby that's how i got started in poaching
i can't go back to barbados for that exact scene not allowed that's how i got started in poaching i can't go back to barbados for that exact scene
not allowed that's how the rockers rockefellers got on was baby dish
i just imagine they were like cute dishes like do they have like a little giraffe on them or
like a noah's ark motif like or are they just regular ass these are dishes sean no they're
dope they're they're just they're solid colors they're like different they're like all three four different colors of teal they're dope. They're just solid colors. They're like all four different colors of teal.
They're dope.
They're just dishes.
I got dishes.
Are they plastic?
They're like bamboo.
They're dope, man.
I'm telling you.
Oh, boy.
I'm with Logan here.
If these things had like a stork or something like that, you would baby dip them.
No, they're bamboo.
They came in nice boxes.
Sushi go-round plates.
That's all you get.
You just got like beautiful.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know when this drops, but I got a show at Helium Comedy Club, Portland,
Oregon, in the parking lot.
Safe.
May 23rd, five o'clock.
Buy your tickets.
I think there's only like 10 left.
This will be out by then.
Absolutely.
Can I, I have, am I allowed to share a dish story just because we talked about dishes?
Yes.
Some additional content.
Absolutely.
It's additional.
So my brother and his girlfriend moved and they gave me all their old dishes because they're going to get new baby dishes, but just regular for their new place.
And I said I would take the dishes, but I didn't realize it was like a full set that I don't really need.
But it was a giant box and I have roommates, so I put it away, but I jokingly put it away in the most inconvenient way possible.
So I put all these heavy ass dishes in front of all our Tupperware.
So you can't get to the Tupperware.
And my roommate came and found me like a day later.
He's like, why did you do this?
Like, why are they in the way? And it was just was just like a fun you know an additional little joke for me
are they not hilarious like you are they didn't think i would think that would after the frustration
i'd there'd be two maybe three seconds of like and then i would think it was hilarious it was
what are they're like gravy boats or is it just like three different sized plates it's different
sized plates but they're they did think it was it was funny ultimately when i explained when i was like
well let's make a game out of it because i'm not going to reorganize this whole cupboard so let's
just make it annoyingly inconvenient but they're stacked so high that not only are they in the way
but you can't get a plate out like it doesn't i love it that's oh god that's the best just like a long day of whatever
they were doing and they get home and they just want a dish and they can't get it and they can't
get it they can't get it out just want to put their mcchicken on something civilized no can do
we used to fill up my buddy my roommate adam's room with cardboard boxes we just fill it as
hard as we could and he'd get home from work and he'd
open the door and he'd be like ha ha ha ha cool fucking funny fucking funny and you just throw
them all out the whole time i'm like it is pretty fucking funny man like yeah that's good
i've always wanted to fill a room with balloons
rishon did that for uh quite a number of folks shane torres being one of them on his birthday
when we lived in the same apartment it was right next i let him in i was an accomplice yeah it was sick he was
crying with a helium or or manually no just regular um i think there were sean e and jen
balloons i do think i blew a bunch of them up yeah a lot of hot air in there
from uh the cream colored guy a lot of hot air and shane torres is comedy so it checks out folks i i would never say that
i wouldn't that was you i wouldn't and that's that's coming from me and logan no
i would say mostly it's logan kind of held it up on
she's been holding up signs the whole time like rick from walking dead but in love actually she's
been holding up signs like that she love actually i from Walking Dead, but in Love Actually. She's been holding up signs like that.
Was that she Love Actually?
Constantly talking shit.
I was like, wait, no.
When you said it happened in Walking Dead, I was like, I'm not going to get this reference.
And then you said Love Actually.
I was like, oh, wait.
I do know.
And then I was like, wait, that has nothing to do with Walking Dead.
It's just the Love Actually thing.
I only know the dude from Walking Dead.
Are you talking about, you mean Wayne's World?
Or Wayne's World, yeah.
This man blows goats. I have proof or no world yeah this man blows goats i have proof yeah yeah he blows goats yeah it's all about shane i think it's okay i think i
blew it i think it's become a love actually thing i think maybe more so i've never seen love actually
beginning to end i've seen parts yeah dude this guy's alleged best friend goes and tells his wife that he's in
love with her and then and then he's just like and that's the end of it and you're like well that
ain't that ain't the move it's not a good move actually but but he only tells her and unfortunately
this is a film i've seen so many times with my family that i could probably say like it's the movie opens with the 9-11 reference
it's yeah it's like it's hugh grant talking about 9-11 which is just such a nice little
time capsule of a film this is a it's a rom-com it's a rom-com yeah that's how i want him to
start oh yeah that's how it starts and it like the kira knightley is the girl he confesses his love to the guy from walking dead
and she goes to his house to try and find a video of their wedding of because he was filming the
whole time you can cut all this out no this is it oh yeah this is i don't even i don't think i'm
even thinking of the right movie are they in england they're in england yeah yeah they're
in england is there some sort of
a pornography set there is a pornography set yeah okay yeah yeah it's a bunch i remembered more of
you know how there were like all these movies made like valentine's day and all these things
were just like a gangbang of celebrities in some movies little stories love actually was kind of
like i'm sure it wasn't the first one they are more important films that have done it but that was like the like that ushered in that era of let's
throw every celebrity in some movie with crossing storylines type right it's like a dj khaled video
yeah that's right yeah yeah pretty much but so she figures out that the guy's obsessed with her
because she watches a video and then he does his confession. So I always feel like while he shouldn't have done the confession, he probably wouldn't have if she hadn't showed up at his house and found out that he made a jerk off tape of just her at the wedding.
That's a great point.
That's a great point.
It did need some explanation after she saw that.
True.
Yeah.
Like she's like, like, he's not going to murder her.
He just like loves her
actually wouldn't it be funny if my cats made a parody movie called Love, Black Julie.
Yeah.
That's the funniest thing I've thought all year.
Love, Black Julie?
Does it also start with a 9-11 reference? and can you just have the only white guy is the guy from walking dead he just does
the exact same thing Oh, man. Love, Black Julie. Love, Black Julie starring David Borey,
the GSI on Twitter,
CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram.
Man, that's funny.
How are you doing, buddy?
Oh, man.
I just, that Love, Black Julie thing just happened,
so I'm kind of dealing with that still.
I'm good, man. I don't have have i you know my dates will be on instagram i'm doing local stuff oh i'm also doing helium august 1st oh can i announce it too late nick harris i told everybody
in portland oh man off i'll come up for that hell Hell yeah. Well, you heard it here first.
I don't even know what day of the week that is.
The right one.
Sunday, probably.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It's going to be on.
Sick, dude.
That's awesome.
Logan, you coming?
What if it was actually just the Philly helium?
Logan, you going to show up?
Yeah.
I mean, I can honestly say I have no idea what I'll be doing in August, but I feel confident that I'll be free.
So I'll be there.
It's going to be a party.
David's probably going to do an inside without a mask
because he's been doing most of his things inside without a mask.
I'm doing it in the parking lot.
I've heard that you don't have to wear a mask if you're vaccinated.
That sounds dangerous to me i'm still wearing
one i'm still wearing one yeah i think you don't i've heard really bauji said today i was reading
on cnn they said that he recommended toning back the mask mandate you're not gonna be the
for appearances you're supposed to do it because like we can't they're not going around checking
vaccination cards so it's still like you have to wear a mask inside and that kind of thing
yeah but if you are double if you're vaccinated and you're like fully inoculated it doesn't really
help you to wear a mask other than you're being nice and polite yeah okay i i'm really worried
about anybody pulling my vax card because it's not fully kosher, you know?
My card's all fucked up.
Wait, why?
So I got the first card.
This is only you.
Only David.
And then I called and I was like, I have my second appointment.
Should I like, do I have to get a new car?
How do we do this?
And they're like, oh, your name's in the system.
They'll just be able to pull it up.
So then I went.
So now I have the card,
but it only has the second dose and the signature on.
But I'm like, how would I have finessed that
without the thing?
Without the first one.
Without the first one.
So I think I'm good, but nobody's pulled my card.
They're not going to let you on the set of Love, Black, Chilly if you don't have a good i am the set of love black shilly are
you fucking kidding me i am queen boulevard so i guess we can start right there your vaccination
situation is kind of how i just saw wayne's world 2 before i ever saw wayne's world 1
that's that fucks me up yeah that's insane i saw i don't even know i don't think i've seen
wayne's world i've seen wayne's world 1 but also it was a long time ago saw i don't even know i don't think i've seen wayne's world i've seen
wayne's world one but also it was a long time ago but i didn't even know there was a two you
should watch it can i can i say something into this microphone on this gosh darn podcast don't
do it let me say not i'm not saying that but i'm just gonna say something wayne's world two
not a bad time at the movies okay i thought you were gonna claim
that it was better than wayne's world one i was gonna freak out that's where i get mad when people
say that ace ventura when nature calls is better than than the original ace ventura and that's
insane to me do people say that i know a lot of people who say that yeah that's fucked they're
out of their mind they're out of their mind that first movie it's so good that's a whole nother podcast yeah yeah i used to know all the words
yeah he's been true too is when he crime when he climbs out of the rhino at the beginning right
yeah he's sitting in the rhino and he goes kind of hot in these rhinos yeah that shit kills me
but yeah no that anyway first one's way better yeah bumblebee two of your balls are
showing that's number two as well right yeah yeah it does and it i thought of it because of
your outfit reminded me of the second ace ventura when uh-huh i'm gonna go ahead and take that as a
compliment yet again thank you very much that's that that's what brought it to mind it wasn't you
know nature called i answered that's what happened here keep an eye It wasn't, you know. Nature called, I answered.
That's what happened here.
Keep an eye out for David's website.
Date's on there.
Logan Gunselman is here.
A dirty gun's on Twitter.
Which is my, I think my,
you and David have my two favorite Twitter names,
just period.
So this is fantastic.
And then Instagram, it doesn't,
the hits don't stop there
at places i took a shit this year on instagram
yeah i've been oh that stink i've been told multiple times that it is affecting my career
and you know what in a very positive way yeah in the right way has there have there been
situations where you had to tell someone like in
an industry setting yeah to follow you how did you how did it go did you just you're like well
that's what it is so i just have to fucking take it yeah well because also the thing is sometimes
at first i was like well i'm never gonna change it but i'll just start spelling my name but my
last name trips people up it's got a lot of consonants in a row so they would
have a hard time anyway so then i just gave up and i was like yeah it's places i took a shit this
year you can look it up and if that's upsetting for you we probably shouldn't continue talking
is is my guess right it's a real tone setter yeah i could see people doing that thing with like oh
oh that's great that's oh that's great that is great and so it's just pictures of places you've shit is that what it
is well that's when i first got it i was working as a as a office pa and i was in the office like
15 16 hours a day and i hadn't even done stand-up yet but i was like oh it'll be funny because the
only place i shit is his office so i'll just take pictures in the same bathroom all the time funny and then i left that job and
kept the it just kept the handle because it is pretty fun i guess uh yeah now you got a soda
stream it's extremely you have a soda stream yeah oh man does she ever whoa how's that life uh well we have three he
bori's referring to we've made this will be my legacy i want you to know that when i die
what sucks is that they're just gonna me and my roommate started making videos called will
it soda stream where we will just soda stream anything yo i've spent a lot of time thinking
about this
yeah you should write down something you can think of because we're we're pretty much out of ideas
uh but we keep like we did gravy we've done wine we've done uh salsa we've done we did a seven
layer dip where we did you do a1 uh yeah well i had a theory did you know about this
one we were talking about a little bit i had a theory that a1 coca-cola tastes like cold a1
is what i think i think coca-cola tastes similar i could see that though with a little salt in it
but i think it yeah so we soda streamed A1 mixed with water to prove my point.
We didn't prove it, and then we added a bunch of sugar to see if that helped.
It didn't, but I did drink.
I drank cold carbonated A1 with sugar in it.
So anyway, yeah, you can watch these videos.
Was it okay?
Was it, because I like kind of gross shit.
In these two's eyes, I like gross shit.
So I could maybe dig that it wasn't all right.
Well, can you sort of stream Alfredo sauce would be a question Sean Jordan might ask.
See, that I try out.
The ones that were surprisingly good were pickle juice was good.
I like pickle juice.
David's sweet with it.
And then we also sort of streamed Manischewitz wine.
And I mixed it with pickle juice because it was a little too sweet.
And that I also thought was good.
Would you call that like a Lower East Side?
Yeah, sure.
Sparkling Manischewitz mixed with sparkling pickle juice?
Yeah, it's just a Cass's Deli trash can or something.
My natural follow-up is have you tried have you have you tried to sort of stream soup
any soups the whole thing started because we wanted to make a joke being like hey would you
like some soup and then someone answers and then we go still or sparkling and just see so we did
tomato soup is the one and we did ramen yeah um oh man that'd be good i think yeah and they and they they they sort of streamed for the
yeah for the most part anything that's a liquid will they they tell you not to do it because
it's bad for the machine not because it won't do it so anything that's a liquid becomes fizzier
like i'm trying to think um what about paint we did glow in the dark paint and and and
it did it did work that was the video i was the most proud of and no one gave a shit about it and
i still think about it to this day we we put so many glow sticks up to look like a giant penis
behind us so that and we were like this is you know when you put something on the internet you're
like this is gonna get them this is gonna get, you're like, this is going to get them. This is going to get everyone. They're going to play this on Ellen during the day.
And then you do it and no one wants it.
And you're like, why did I get excited about this?
I shouldn't have spent all this money on glow sticks.
I took a picture of a bunch of apple seeds the other day and I was like, you're out there eating apples.
I'm eating caviar.
Four likes.
I thought it was going to blow up. up you're just like this is it you're just picking your outfits out like
i'll be on i'll be on the view in no time i had to take it down like a garage sale where i sold
nothing just like sadly carrying my picture back inside uh that's amazing that people need to check
that out that's so funny i've earnestly sat
and wondered like could you sort of stream like chowder or like whatever that's so cool
what else do you have going on right now that you want to direct people towards where can people
um i mean you know a lot of these are on tiktok and i hate saying that out loud but it is
places i took a shit this year but the o's are zeros because i got kicked off of
tiktok with my original account why they're like they're very like quick to pull the trigger on
like banning people aren't they this is one of those times where they were right i didn't know
that tiktok was mostly for teens when i first got an account and do you remember early in the
pandemic people were pranking each other
by sending that picture of that guy with his dick out?
Oh, yeah.
I just got one today from my buddy Nate.
Yes, I do.
But so I got to a point
where people were editing him into videos.
So I edited him into,
you know, the scene in Pulp Fiction
where he opens a briefcase,
but you never see what's in it.
Yeah.
So then it cut to the briefcase and it was
just the picture of the guy with his dick out.
That's very funny. And then I also did
did you watch the finale of The Office?
Yeah.
They unveil a giant mural and I had
my brother help me edit so when they
unveil it it's just repeatedly that
guy with his dick out.
What guy with his dick out?
Look at this one. My buddy said it's tornado season and then he sent
us this oh yeah do you remember that guy oh yeah the door guy yeah he's from san francisco yeah
yeah yeah yeah uh i think his name is like wood d wood yeah what was the name of his i've seen that guy in real life huge hog energy yeah
i mean he's dead now yeah so which was disrespectful to his memory but also i didn't
know on tiktok you couldn't just post uncensored videos of men's dicks they didn't know that until
just now i i mean i probably would have assumed but i thought they'd let it ride i don't know
here's another joke you should start a new one called Dick Talk. There it is.
I'm full of them today, guys.
It's crazy over here.
You're full of beans today.
It's crazy over here.
David hopped on the microphone full of beans.
Oh, yeah.
Steamed beans.
Steamed beans.
Steamed and mashed.
I'm going to put them on my adult dishes.
Yeah.
So go over to your TikTok.
Get your album, as mentioned earlier,
which is called Today's Top Hits, which you can get on a special thing record label mates label mates
all of my stuff is on i'm on la face all of my
he's on sauvage he just started his own label called sauvage
gotta wear that record oh man i had to put the Sauvage away. I got real cologne.
Oh, good! David's been on a year-long cologne journey.
I think it ended.
I guess we're going back out in public. It seems like an interesting year
to want to explore that.
Yeah, I was just in the house with nothing to do
oh yeah no that's i mean i like how i'm like i've been filming myself soda stirring stuff
and then you're legitimately looking for cologne i'm like well that's weird why would you do that
guess i'm a fucking animal
what cologne did you land on tom ford oh yeah it is it just just mixes with my
with me
there he is
all I know about cologne is what Ian would put on
before we went to the roost
where he'd be like
do you spray it the same way
a woman sprays perfume
or where do you
I just do a spritz on the thing
and then I bang bang and then i bang bang
okay all the listeners know what you did so i don't even need to explain it yeah they get it
what else could that have been i go wrist wrist niche neck chest neck area double pits to chesty
you don't do this in the walk i heard that's is that real is that does that work i heard that
with some like middle school axe body spray logic
Is what I heard
Okay
You know why you do your wrists
And your neck?
Because
Yeah it's the heat
It's where your heart beats
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah I acted it out
That's what I was doing
Also kind of looks like a spider
Doing a little dance
Like I'm very excited
For dinner spider
Yeah It's pretty much that Do you guys ever see it when people do that that dance with like
shack does the heart are you i love it oh yeah my name is ian carmel on twitter
on instagram
on jewish tom ford app uh make sure you check me out on there i i don't have
anything to to promote i'm i'm i'm fucking i'm hanging in there you know i'm hanging tough
i'm on the late late show with james corden where i'm kind of our andy richter and i'm on the
all of all fantasy everything podcast david are you chugging pedialyte dude yeah hell yeah get those electrolytes up do you have a night
last night no i just felt really dehydrated this is not good no that's all right this is let's let's
get past this okay happy four-year anniversary to our first live all fantasy everything by the
way at bridgetown speaking of chugging pedialyte all day uh yeah we had on stage with us that's
all that's all i got going on watch the The Late Late Show. Listen to this podcast.
Keep an eye on Twitter or whatever for further dates.
One day I'll do stand-up again.
But we are gathering here today not to talk about stand-up.
Oh, I'm going to be on TV.
I don't know when it is.
Never mind.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
Fuck you too, dude.
You're like a vision board thing?
I'm going to be on TV.
You're talking to me.
I did this joke.
I don't know when it comes out i'm sorry i mean i'm gonna
buy a house so you know you guys remember love black shilly yeah it's gonna be on yeah keep an
eye it's gonna be on bet next thursday at 1 a.m i really stepped on that intro go ahead TBS all Sunday morning
you know what
you just don't know when or where yet
no I don't even
the show's called total badass
wrestling Danny Trejo's in it
I don't even know
people could just google that
you know
I'm not 100% sure that's the right name
you really shouldn't have brought
it up huh no watch that episode of chad i was on though that's out that's out yeah you're funny
you're funny on that shot uh we are getting here today not only to talk about chad although we
could easily do a podcast just talking about your appearance on chad we are getting here today
to draft now that's the tv show you want to pay full attention to.
We're drafting TV shows to have on in the background.
Yeah.
Excellent topic.
Was this your idea,
Logan?
Uh,
it was on a list,
but I got excited because it is very much a part of my everyday life.
Like I have to have something on in the background.
So I don't just have the ringing silence of my own thoughts.
If Laura will sit and just, Like I have to have something on in the background so I don't just have the ringing silence of my own thoughts.
Well, Laura will sit and just we'll start eating dinner and she doesn't have anything on.
And I'm like, we're just listening to each other chew.
He's talking about Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Laura Ingalls Wilder.
My fiance will sit and we'll just be chewing.
And I'm like, I can't handle more than 30 seconds of just us chewing.
You're just sitting there quietly chewing together?
And she won't even move. She won't make a move for the remote like and it's do you look at each do you look at each other i'm looking at the remote and putting on some something on the tv but like
she's perfectly content not and i'm like this is wild to me that we're just sitting here eating
not watching something while we're in the living room we're at the kitchen table sure but we're not
just hearing your jaw go i mean i can't barely listen to myself wait you're not facing each other
though no like and it's not it's never deliberate it's never deliberate like we'll so we'll like
get dinner we'll go to the couch and then just sit down and like she'll just kind of start eating
and i'm like was there nothing on tv i'd like in my if i had my druthers i would just have something
on while we're making dinner while while we're bringing it out,
that kind of thing.
Cause I need that,
just the noise of something.
And instead you're sitting there eating dinner with the energy of two
people,
like eating dry sandwiches,
waiting for an airplane.
Just,
yeah,
just chewing.
We're like,
well,
you know,
it's going to get here.
I just don't know when you turned the TV off.
Like as you're describing it,
I'm like,
well,
I'm,
I would never even hit the point where I had to turn it back on because i would just continuously have something
right now so like i'm downstairs i bet you it's off and i'll go back upstairs and i'll start
eating and i'll turn i'll turn it on real quick i'm serious that's what will happen like uh yeah
she could be sitting reading playing with cats who knows but i bet it's off right now well i bet
we're gonna find out what tv show will be on that TV while you're having your dinner.
Here in a moment, after we figure out the order of today's draft,
which we will do with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors,
played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot.
Here we go.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Damn it.
Logan wins because you threw the unique one threw the unique one so your scissors defeat
but doesn't rock defeat scissors it's an augmented three-person version of rock paper scissors we
invented so if you throw in my head i was like have i been doing it wrong this whole time
like every time i played my entire childhood being like god damn i'm out i'm out if we knew
you were thinking that we definitely would have lied and said
yes.
And like leaned into that reality.
We're big fans of gaslighting here on all fantasy.
Everything.
I don't like it.
I'll tell you different.
Logan,
as the winner,
it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft.
But before you do that,
I will remind you,
it is a serpentine draft.
Yeah.
And what is that?
That's a great question. It's like, if you're shading something in, I will remind you, it is a serpentine draft. Yeah. And what is that? That's a great question.
It's like if you're shading something in.
So like if you have, if you like draw someone's name in big bubble letters, you know, like,
like happy mother's day or something, that's not someone's name.
I understand that.
But then you start shading it in and you like shade a little like left to right on the top
with, and then you just go a little bit down and then shade over from right to left.
That's how I do it anyways.
And then you just kind of drop a little bit down.
How often are you doing this?
Shade like, I don't know, five, 10 times a day.
Shade a lot.
And then you go left to right,
just kind of shading a little bit at a time.
And then you go down and then shade right to left
until it's all filled in.
And then the name is a shaded in bubble letter name.
Shady aftermath.
Basically what it means, Logan,
if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick
first in the second round.
With that in mind.
I used to play a lot of Settlers of Catan.
I would go to meetups and play it with strangers
and they also do a snake
pick at the beginning.
Can I just go
in the order that you
guys are on my screen? We're all in different
orders on different screens. I'm Sophia Talentfia talent but on yours absolutely because yeah can i say by mine and
then my word is law is basically it whatever you want goes and okay so do people not want to uh
okay you can go uh i'll i'll go first because i don't want someone to tip. Me, David,
Sean, you.
Okay. Wow.
I didn't breathe that whole time.
That was the only time anybody's gotten tripped
up on that point. No one's ever given a rip before.
That's a good order. I think you want to go
first or last. It's the middle. You don't want to be
in the middle. So I thank you for putting me last.
The hot corner, I call it. And going first, now you're
going to get your first pick and we will hear your first pick right after this short break.
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rules and restrictions may apply yeah we're back welcome back to all fantasy everything the only
podcast that has ever existed the only audio medium this is it this is it it's this yeah and
it's logan's record and those are the two things you can listen to. That's it. And if you want to watch something,
take your ass over to that tech to Logan's tech talk.
Yeah.
And just,
and which again is places.
I've shit places.
I took a shit,
but the O's are zeros.
So you really got to think hard about it.
Well,
you didn't want a bunch of dummies looking it up,
just randomly stumbling upon it.
If they don't work for it,
I don't want them to be
a part of my life it's how i see it level it's the united club at the airport that's her that's
her tiktok now in addition to you know your tiktok places i've i took a shit place i took a shit this
year yeah this year uh you also have the first pick what would that pick be okay
i thought about this a lot and for my first pick for tv shows that you can have it on the background
i would like to select diners drive-ins and dives perfect yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely
i love it that was like right at the top of my list.
Mine are mostly food shows that I would just have on in a hotel room before some sort of comedy thing.
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's a great hotel show.
I have a theory that somehow Diners, Drives, and Dives is playing all the time in every hotel room that every comedian has ever stayed at.
It's always on.
Anytime I hop,
like you're on a bed in Omaha and you turn the TV on and it's Guy Fieri.
It's always,
it's always him.
I like that you pronounced it the correct way.
Yeah.
Fieri.
Fieri,
which took me a long time to learn.
Cause I also feel like he doesn't even do a good job of it on triple D.
No,
not,
Oh, I like that that you call it triple d
yeah well that's how i know you're ahead yeah i i i just i also had an app for a long time that
would you could like look on a map and see if you were close to any triple d rest i've never been
to a single one i don't think i have either one and you didn't know it i think you've accidentally
been to one that's and as soon as i was like I think we went to one one time, but I didn't try hard enough to use the app.
But it was comforting, even without a background TV on driving around being like, well, I'm close to some of these, you know?
Oh, yeah.
I've been to California Tacos in Omaha.
They play when they were on Triple D on a loop in there.
Whoa. I don't want to say any
other shows i'm pretty sure it was triple d that this restaurant in sioux falls was on bread and
circus but that's like the only one i can think of that i've been to go ahead and pause it if it
was a tv show visiting a restaurant and it was in sioux falls south dakota yeah it was triple D. Yeah. And it was the third D.
Yeah.
I don't think like a lot of these other like food shows have been in South Dakota probably. I'll stop you there before you lose a friendship and we'll just continue down the proper path.
I love that show.
Sometimes you'll be eating.
When he goes to a restaurant restaurant he's got a little spray
paint tag that he does
yeah
and if you're eating
in a restaurant you look over your shoulder you see that
it's like that's like seeing
Emilio Estevez eating at the same restaurant
all of a sudden you're like ooh
I've made it I've arrived
I'm a higher
class of people
all of a sudden
I'll also look up
like I looked up behind the scenes
on Triple D just because I wanted
to know you know
like are they nice when they
go in apparently it's like a very
stressful situation they find out last
minute that they're rolling
out as he would say
on the show and then like they have to cook like everything on their menu and they just pick the
stuff that they think would be the best to be featured on the show do you think he's ever
rolled up somewhere that like did a 14 pound cheeseburger and they just decided not to make
it that day and they're just like you know everybody knows this for our 14 pound cheeseburger and they just decided not to make it that day and they're just like you know everybody knows us for our 14 pound cheeseburger but let's like go with like the uh
the chili lime fajitas instead and he's just like modest you know he's in there ready to talk about
like a 14 pound cheeseburger and they're like they want to he also has his son on it all the
time now he's he's his son hunter is now like joining the and i don't appreciate the nepotism that much but
then i looked and he's like 20 something so it's like okay for me to find him attractive sometimes
and that i don't yeah is guy fieri attractive to me or in in general he has an appeal he's got a
look if you you have to be wanting that but i could see his son looks nothing like
him no he doesn't no guy theory's like on a boat dock at the end of the day attractive you know
what i mean like like 20 beers deep you've been out on the boat with him all day you've been like
crushing beers you know and he's been like confidently but but calmly steering the boat
all day like he's been whipping kids off the off the the thing on
the back yeah yeah yeah he's had his sunglasses everywhere but over his eyes yeah like yeah
everywhere dude your neck's getting sunburned well it's because my shades are on it magnifying
all the sun right into my neck so that's why his hair's that color actually it's the sun did that
you take a look you take a look at him at the end of the day and you're like you know what he's not he's he's he's not conventionally attractive but he's
checking every box for me right now i'm gonna say i just looked it up i think that he is hotter than
his son well now i also have to say every time i'm watching it it's usually towards the end of the evening and i might not be totally uh sober oh yeah like if i'm
like traveling and like i put it on just to like have something on and i'll be like what is what
is happening here like what is what are they putting on that griddle okay here's the trap i
fall into with that show is i will convince myself i'm going to go over my notes for my set because
that is a textbook watch it before you set show and then yeah and then I'm I find myself
watching the show and I'll I will do this for nobody I will scatter my notes on the bed to
make myself feel better like I went over my notes and I did not but I will I will seriously organize
them a little bit and I'm like okay I touched them and then I can keep watching knowing that
I tried when
i didn't the show will hook you in like that that's it's the very much also it's either coming
back and it's still on because i'll leave the tv on just because i don't want to walk into silence
so i'll walk in and he's still going and it's god this feels like we're doing stand-up it does
this feels like we're talking about a game you just said you just said that, that hit me in my soul.
That's so good. Leaving the TV out in the hotel.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because you want to walk in and you want to feel like your friends are there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you're like, let's be honest.
It's the road.
I'm not coming home with anybody.
No.
Nobody ever does.
That's not how it goes.
People do.
If you are coming home with someone, it's not the kind of person who's going to be put
off by Guy Fieri being on.
They're going to be like, oh, I have it on in my house right now, too.
I left it on.
I did the same thing.
Yep.
It's watching my kids.
That's fantastic.
Excellent first pick.
David Boyd, time for your first pick.
I mean, I thought I was second.
Well, David's going to pick mine, I bet.
I bet.
Yeah, for sure.
It's not even hard hard i talk about it all
the time when i leave something on it's because like for comfort so i always know that i can drop
in and i always know what's happening i'm picking king of the hill yeah it's just like i mean since
the days when it was first on when remember when netflix first went streaming and it was on netflix man me and my
friend bonzo it would just be on all the fucking and now it's still it's on in my house it's on
hulu i have it on all the time whenever there's like whenever where it takes longer than 15
seconds to try to pick something i'm just like all right king of the hill it's always good
always funny i'll put it on before i know i have to do some work like i'll have some work to do on the computer and i'll put it on first and then go and start working because it'll motivate you to
work i'll do that with like where it's like well it's already on so like i don't have to think
about how to focus like i can focus now because i have this sound in the background yeah i hear
john redcorn's voice and i feel just like in the zone i haven't watched it
enough time i've seen every episode but i haven't seen each of them like enough times to where i
don't get pulled in so like if i put king of the hill on i think it's a good thing but if i put it
on i'm like the laptop is getting closed at some point you don't know what you mean because it's
because it's such a good show i i'm the same where i've seen it a lot and like it but i i don't know every line that's gonna come next you know like i like that's a show where i don't
have to if it's a show where you don't have to turn around you know you can picture already in
your head exactly what's going on yeah i'd be like wait give me a second i gotta i gotta look
i'll put it an episode will start and i'll be like oh this is where bobby says i mean the fizz air and
i'll like be like i'm gonna work till that scene that part and then i'll like okay and then i'll
go back the hill is one of those shows that i can i can reference so much because i know it so well
it just happened the other day my brother-in-law's my nephew would not give up the game boy and my
brother-in-law had to take it from him and there's an episode of king of the hill where bobby is playing a game boy it's so specific and hank
sounds like a vidya game and bobby's like in a minute and then he just walks out of the room
and hank has to take it from or peggy takes it essentially but yeah and he kicks her in the crotch
yeah you will be what she's you'll be amazed to find that i do not have any testicles
it's perfect, man.
It's a perfect show.
I know you had to pick it,
but I don't get upset about not getting picks a lot.
Here I go.
Upset.
You don't look upset, but your knee's up again,
so it doesn't look like you're ready to talk about your feelings. I'm comfy, man.
The sun's set, and I'm feeling like I don't have socks on.
Aggressively relaxed is how I would describe it.
It's crazy because from this perspective,
it looks like it
could be somebody else's knee it does oh going to like they're filming you yeah oh like they're
laying back just relax like we got the perfect shot keep going don't stop don't stop like they're
just holding the computer up for me i'm out here living that is your life raft. Are you all TVYU sleepers?
No.
I can't anymore. I used to for years, but I can't anymore.
I never ever could.
I would just stay up. I eventually have to force myself
to close. I'll be watching
it on a laptop at this point, and I'll force
myself to close it, because otherwise
I'll pretend like I'm going to sleep, and I'll
just stay up, half-watching
something. I need steady noise when I sleep,
but TV's too up and down.
So I always focus on it.
Yeah.
And I got a big TV now.
Oh yeah.
So like the light fucks with you.
It's yeah.
It's just too much.
I went from TV to fame.
I,
when I was a kid,
I would listen to sports radio or standup comedy and I couldn't fall asleep
unless it was playing.
And now, man, that really worked out for you yeah yeah it's kind of the things that you're best at that's like that shit in like in sitcoms where they're like i'll just sleep on the book i was
supposed to read and then you absorb all the information but it like sometimes somehow like
actually worked it like kind of uh yeah that's weird i've never
thought about that before uh well that's like i and i'm not i'm gonna talk can i talk about a show
but i don't know if i'm gonna pick it am i allowed to no no somebody else might it doesn't seem like
a far like it would be crazy that somebody else might pick it. Okay, then never mind. Never mind.
We'll put a pin in it.
We'll get to Sean's next pick.
Yeah, well, David, shit.
So you're hot corner, huh?
That's right.
All right.
Well, I got to do it.
Seinfeld.
That's fair.
Very fair.
I wouldn't have taken it because I've seen every episode 50 times and every time I get fucking pulled in.
It's crazy.
But I think it's a wonderful pick.
It's it's for me.
Like, I think it's pretty common that you've seen them all a ton, but I can go in and out and know exactly where I'm at. And that's key for like quite a few of these.
I just need to go in and out and not have to get invested.
quite a few of these i just need to go in and out and not have to get invested like i can stop watching seinfeld and know that when i do start again after i'm done sending an email or whatever
that i will know exactly where i'm at and i will know the funny parts i've missed which
you know i'm bummed that i miss them sometimes but there's you have sorry go ahead i was gonna
say because i know with king of the hell i have a go-to. Do you have like go-to seasons?
No.
That you'll put up?
No, it's all over the place.
I used to have the DVDs and then I would just, you know, I just pick real randomly.
I don't know.
I never had a specific episode.
The one, my favorite thing ever in Seinfeld, I think, is when Kramer is smoking the cigar
and drinks that entire beer at the same time.
That's my favorite thing ever in Seinfeld, I think, because I just don't know how he does it.
But other than that, it's all nothing really gets above that.
There's that. And then there's the rest of the mountaintop.
And then, you know, I always just get so blown away by like the way they weave the three storylines together.
I just every time I just get like that is a good point that is a
good point it's like almost such a good show that you kind of marvel at like how well it's written
whenever you watch it it's crazy because you'll remember episodes as like the oh this is the this
is the like pirate shirt episode but then that's like also the hand modeling episode you know what
i mean it's like is it really yeah i i think those
are the same one i could i could be wrong because i'm you know but like i'm pretty sure that's the
same episode i know what you mean though where you're just like oh shit i did i had no idea
that these were those icon i thought these were two iconic episodes but this is one the same one
giant crazy episode yeah and so it's like yeah that's just like pulls me in every time let me see let me see if it is
it is so yeah it's also the hand modeling one it's the same thing and the low talker uh that's
how he gets convinced into wearing the puffy shirt and it's just like if you've tried to
write like any tv show and i don't know and i'm dumb and not good at why i'm good at writing
late night i hope but like i'm bad at writing sitcoms
uh so and just like seeing that you're just like how the fuck did they do that it's so it just
blows me away every single time yeah yeah because it's like a formula and they just like nail it
you know where this came from cartwheel is chilling at the crib at the fortress we would have it on
most of sunday and then that would be like our sunday where we'd
figure out lunch we would go get coffee and just leave it on we would sometimes go for a drive i'd
go to the store a few times and that would just be on all day and i'm like this is great and then
if we weren't talking some one of us would fall asleep sometimes and then you just leave it on
man yeah that's so funny you said that i was was just thinking, I went to the store yesterday,
and it made me think about you.
I was like, Sean Jordan is a store-going motherfucker.
I love going to the store.
You stay going to the store.
I love going to the store.
Which store?
Are you saying grocery store or any store?
He just likes to, he's just always going to the store.
Just kind of the store, but like at the crib,
we would always be going to the corner market or Fred Meyers.
Zach is a going-to-the-store guy,yers. Zach is a going to the store guy, too.
Zach is a going to the store ass guy, too.
Our friend Zach Toscani, Logan.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yes.
I know him.
I didn't know he was a store guy, though.
He's a store guy.
Yes, big store guy.
Big store guy.
It started back, I think, when I first moved out.
And I realized, I was like, I can just go to the store and come home.
I can just go get a candy bar and just come home and eat in the living room.
And there's no parents around.
It's real simple pleasures for me. and it has been my whole life and that's definitely one where i'm like i'm gonna go get some candy fuck the world i'm out here and
i can do it it's very funny to call someone a store person because it sounds like we don't
know them at all and are trying to describe them oh sean loves stores like we were you're like you
want me to give the best man speech i barely know sean is a store guy you're gonna know but it's very true you just you fucking love stores i do
that's why i like them all so much because it's so many stores all packed no i know dude
i was walking to the store and i was thinking about you i was like yeah man sean would love
this sean i come back with a bag of bugles and a 40 for sure yeah it's that i like the grocery
store is my favorite restaurant and i tell a lot of people that because i'm back but specifically
the bulk bin section which we lost during covid which was very upsetting for me that was like my
favorite i would just every day different ratio sampling of nuts and i was like oh what a fun
what kind of ratio are we going to get today
and that was like the the thrill for me also i'd steal a lot i would go grazing it's just part of
that's just part of the profit margin so fun too they're just like the yeah and then sometimes you
do too much you look around like pretending like you give a shit because you're like oh no i made
a mess but you don't care no you just walk away those aren't my macadamia nuts those are your macadamia nuts
yeah mine are in this bag chalk them up to the game yeah seinfeld excellent thanks bro uh time
for my uh my next ones and i don't know how like into trying to take other people's picks i'm going
to get on this so i'm just going to take the truest one for me if i have to throw something on like if i'm like not even cooking dinner if i like i'm actually trying to get some
work done nothing beats a planet earth oh damn it i thought you know i thought i'd get them later
i really did i thought those would be like on my list that was also on my list have to sir david
attenborough's voice is like a i don't i
don't it's like does if you want to pay attention to it you can pay attention to it if you don't
it's like it's like music that doesn't have lyrics in it like i swear to god it is yeah
voice is just like it's like classical music just the
like if you're looking at your computer it sounds like
and then you look sounds like gandalf the african elephant has traversed over 40 kilometers
will not survive the winter how old is he like how much time do we have left with him i think
he's a thousand and he'll never die i don't i i want him to be prolific i think he's like tupac
where he just recorded a ton of nature shows so that we will always have we're always putting
him out there's another one now like like nature and color there's another one there's there's one
called like nature and color and like it's david attenborough walking down a beach like look at
these peacocks and then there's like colorful peacock he like you see him i don't want to see
him in it no i'm not ready for that i'm not ready for that he fucking renegotiated after
our planet or whatever the last one was and like he's like i'm in this now by the way
dude my only problem with
planet earth is like you were saying with seinfeld i'll get sucked in because it looks so good well
you know what you do you throw on the north american ones because it's all shit you can see
that's what i gotta do i'm like well yeah what do i give a fuck if it's in the rocky mountains i can
tune out for that that's not how i get sad when it's one that you know that's gonna die you know
when they're talking about how one animal's doomed and we're just kind of watching it.
When he starts talking about the harsh realities of nature before it's died and you're like, oh, I see where this is going.
You see 50 snakes chasing one baby turtle and you're like, bro.
But that's when you go back to whatever else you were doing for the sad parts.
You're like, I'm not going to worry about that.
I got to look at my phone.
Yeah, absolutely. God, I'm going to watch
that after this. Yeah, you could
put it on right now, man.
Yeah, that's the whole point.
I got the TV cocked to the
side and everything.
My next pick,
I got to take
the old Great British Bake Off.off oh yeah great one yeah i
fuck see i can't do it i can't i saw when i live with solomon i i just i i don't i don't i i
whatever it's oh you don't like it it doesn't it doesn't get you it it doesn't it just what
solomon used to watch so much of it.
And he'd be like, because me and Solomon would gangbang TV shows a lot.
You know what I mean?
Just like all kinds of shit.
And I would always, I'd be in my room after like 45 minutes.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah, I know.
And I know so many people love it.
I just, I don't know.
The common thread might too.
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead, Logan. Oh, I was going to say, I don't know. The common thread in my two, oh, sorry, go ahead, Logan.
Oh, I was going to say, I love it, but I also couldn't tell you pretty much a single thing that they've ever made because I'm never fully watching it.
It's so a show that I have on in the background that every time I put it on, I'm like, I know I've seen this multiple times, but I definitely don't remember a single part of it, which is nice.
I definitely don't remember a single part of it,
which is nice.
It's perfect. Cause you could just be what you're watching.
And then just like,
Oh,
I don't,
I don't know if I know how to make a past state.
And then it's 45 minutes later and it's like,
dun,
dun,
dun,
dun,
dun,
dun,
dun.
And you're like,
it's over.
Like every now and then,
like a pleasant British comedian who you may or may not have heard of,
we'll make a joke that offends no one.
It's at the expense of nothing,
you know?
And then like,
it's just so comfortable for me.
And it's the thing where I've seen it so many,
like I've seen,
I've been through the whole series,
I think like twice.
How many seasons are there of it?
God, there's like,
I think in England,
yeah, they've done a grip.
Yeah, like it's like,
I think there's like seven or eight of them because
the other thing too and i only know that because they did a celebrity great british bake-off that
i wanted to watch because uh james mcavoy was on it and oh yeah i'm a big fan i like jim jam yeah
but they haven't released it in america yet so they do a thing where they'll do the whole run
in england and then put it on netflix at some
point so it's like a weird i don't know they're like trying to keep it under wraps or like that
we can't access all of it and then you can got it as it was baked this year though this last season
we just haven't gotten that we haven't gotten the celebrity one as it was baked yeah as they were
baking it it's also fun that one one thing that will pull
me out of whatever other shit i was doing while watching is they'll make some traditional british
dish that sounds so fucking gross like yeah they were doing these things one time they were called
clangers which already the name is bad but it was like a giant like you know those things at costco like a chicken bake
where it's like a filled thing do you know i'm talking about oh yeah oh yeah like it's like
seriously so like three quarters of it is filled with like a meat or like a curry or a savory thing
and they put like a little bit of dough and then the last end of it is a dessert so you could get
it all in one that sounds tight dude i remember that that
would look you would eat that shot no of course you would eat that i would try it but i'll send
you pictures after you're they it was invented for men going down into the mine so they could
have one big meal as it and it looks like something that you would eat in the dark you
shouldn't be able to see it why are they so bad at food over there?
I think that sounds like they're efficient.
So let me make sure I'm understanding.
Let's say it's a foot long.
Eight inches of that are,
it's like a chicken bake.
And then the last four inches,
there's like a little chode.
And then the last four inches is like a raspberry bake.
Yeah, pretty much. Sign me up. You just stop at the last four inches finish your chicken and then go to dessert
what's the big deal how do you know for sure until you're eating it that they've really done a good
job separate you have no idea that they've done a good job separating it and if you're in the dark
what if you eat the what if you start with the raspberry bummer then i'll be like all right
now then you can't flip it because all
it'll yeah right i wasn't gonna flip it no i know what you're saying it's made for people in the
minds who like that's never gonna be the worst part of their day but for us you bite into i'm
just picturing you biting into it's the wrong end and you're going oh god damn like my whole day yeah fucking long end custard before chicken
that never is a good day that never breathes positivity see did you just hear those two
things you said you want those in one thing i'm starving custard and chicken yeah man
it's like a chicken donut i need different plates donut sounds ill yeah
i don't know we see the world differently on this yeah i don't know. I don't even know what the-
We see the world differently on this.
Yeah.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
What I need is dulcet British tones for me to not have it on in the background.
I get that from Planet Earth and Great British Bake Off.
Sean Jordan, you picked shrill Jewish voices, which I, for one, appreciate as a shrill Jewish
voice man.
What will your next pick be?
Friday Night Lights.
It's the best TV show ever made.
I've seen it.
I don't want to exaggerate.
I bet I've seen it all the way through 40 times.
I want to give a fairly accurate number.
How many seasons is that?
Six.
So it's nothing.
Well, I don't know i guess how many apps per season
how many apps they were full-on seasons i think they were yeah they were like 20 they were big
ones um but it's just 30 minutes or an hour long drama out with like 45 minutes on when you stream
it it's like 45 minutes i would have been an hour on tv but it's just so again i will find through the course of the rest of this show that i love
soap operas and just like high school shows i don't know why i don't know what it is but it's
they're so low stakes maybe but then sometimes in friday night lights they'll give you like a
ridiculous scenario and i don't know where you're like whoa jesus who got they got shot all of a
sudden but people get shot in friday night lights a few times they so the later in the later seasons in the later seasons they got to split it up into east
dylan and west dylan because dylan texas got too mellow it was just football and they were like
we need more we're gonna have to split this up and so they introduced like a meth ring and like
car stealing ring like all this shit that doesn't have to do with high school football sounds like my high school even though you're a fan of the show was this at a point where in your head you're like
i'm still with you guys but you've gone too far or or was it compelling enough
that it was compelling enough okay i think but like they they did like um
it's tough because i i am such a fan where I was like, I, I think it do anything they want.
They could jump a hundred sharks.
I wouldn't give a fuck.
So I think it's,
I think it was fine in any show that goes on a little bit too long.
They're going to do some of that weird stuff.
And I feel like they,
they probably only went like one season long.
Um,
and it,
anybody get pregnant.
Great question.
Uh,
that. So Jason Street, the quarterback that was paralyzed in the very first episode, he gets a girl pregnant.
So yes, but she wasn't a main character on the show.
None of the main characters had kids.
None of them got pregnant.
Which is like, how do you overlook that?
I feel like because they couldn't put on TV at the time.
A pregnant teenager?
Abortion would be too big of a hot button issue.
So they had to like, the exact fan base that they had probably might not be.
I can tell you this.
If I get all my picks, we'll get into that in like on this next round.
Well, we're not going to get into into it but like i'll have a i'll have a scenario i'll have an example for you uh at some point if we keep going down that road
an example of a show about abortion they touch on it and it's like i feel like i know what it is
and i'm not gonna steal it from you if you want to steal it steal it i'm not i don't yeah no we
can i just like talking about it i don't care who picks these shows well no because that wouldn't be my background show
okay david it's not a show about abortion now thank you to stop you're talking about
friday night lights that abortion show yeah yeah yeah he brought it up anyway friday night lights
uh i know in the in the sake of time i know we got to keep it moving and i've been touching on
this show for 200 episodes.
So, you know, I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna break any new eggs on this one.
Is that a, oh my God.
Side.
I just got to tell you that podcast with LP and open Mike Eagle, what had happened was
it is, it is so good.
But anyway, LP, he says something, he's like, you know, I was just doing this, trying to
build a bridge to warmer waters immediately.
I know that's not a saying, but it sounded good in my head.
It just reminds me of what I just did.
But his was way funnier.
And I love it when you hear somebody say some slick shit.
Yeah.
That's one of mine.
And then they don't.
It kind of keeps me going.
Anyway.
Yeah.
Friday Night Lights.
David, your next pick.
Hell yeah.
This is a new one for me.
And fuck, do I love it it's on in my house
a lot i don't know if you guys have seen it it's called alone no no no dude this shit is so good
it is uh it's a survivalist show oh i haven't seen it yes yeah with like 10 people yeah and
they go out in the woods and then they're alone for whoever can stay the longest gets a half a meal, right?
Or something like that.
And it's like they'll be out there for like 70, 80 days.
Is it on HBO Max?
It's on Netflix right now.
Netflix.
Okay.
Dude, but it's like it starts out pretty innocuous.
Like they get there and they're building their camp up and blah, blah, blah.
But by the middle of the season, people are going nuts because they're they're they've just been by their self themselves and they're
filming it like there was this one where this guy just had a breakdown and he starts crying
into the camera and he's just like i need i need my wife to tell me i'm her hero
it's like and then you see people they're just like some of them are starving to death like
they lose weight and shit so it starts out really it's simple and then towards the end it just gets
like really really intense how many episodes is it i think one season is like 10 or 12 because
they're like an hour long i saw one season where a guy one guy broke his leg and
another dude killed a moose yeah oh yeah the guy who killed the moose won but then he had to keep
hiding at different places right because the bear kept eating it yeah and then like sometimes
they'll be killing it with fishing and shit and then the fish will dry up and they got to figure
out how to eat it's like alone so they're all in a big group and then they all go to their own separate little camps alone no they're all just dropped off in separate
parts of like uh sometimes it's mongolia one was like in these islands off of vancouver they're
they're all dropped off they can or they're not even typically close no no no no is it is a season
about multiple people or does a season focus 10 episodes once
what because it's it's a contest right so whoever can last the longest damn and they just tap out
if they're like i'm officially done they're like yeah or sometimes they'll have to like the the
medical team will come and be like you're too skinny you we you have to leave damn are they
naked i don't want to reference another show that someone else might bring up but are they naked and it's almost you would think that that would make it as good it's better than
that other show and they have their clothes on sometimes they'll take all their clothes off and
they'll take smoke baths like i guess that kills all the bacteria so sometimes but no they're
usually rarely is the closest show better than the naked show so good on alone oh for real man real yeah that's a
good show that's another one where i've i mean i've only seen it i've seen one season but where
it was like i have to watch this it's not it's and they're not doing anything but that's but
now i've watched enough seasons that i kind of can be like oh yeah you know fishing's not working
you know what i mean you are right though they do like
they it is a weirdly peaceful show for how high stakes it is yeah because it's like because every
every segment is just somebody just talking to the camera yeah you know and they're in the in the
they're recording it themselves so they're just talking to themselves so it doesn't feel like
engaging in that way but like yeah man i fucking
i that that show is on and it's like stuff hardly ever happens but when it happens it happens big
you know what i mean like sometimes like their house will burn down and you're like
fuck nothing happened in three hours and then they burn down their shelter and they gotta go home but
that's great for you to do other stuff too because as soon as that happens and you're like i only
gotta pay attention for this little bit and then it's gonna go back to do other stuff too, because as soon as that happens and you're like, Oh, I only got to pay attention for this little bit.
And then it's going to go back to like,
not a lot of shit.
Yeah.
Or whatever I'm doing.
Who knows?
Logan,
how many second and third picks as it is the serpentine breath.
Wow.
It's tough because.
I wrote down a list.
Okay, I'm going to do one that I'm currently doing, which is depressing for me.
And then the other one, just whatever.
My first second one, my first second one.
That's how you say it.
My first second pick is going to be Top Chef.
Oh, yeah.
Another cooking show, but also you don't have to pay attention.
There's legitimately 18 seasons and every episode's an hour.
So you could have that shit on for days.
And I do.
I definitely do.
Yeah.
And you can watch the quick fire and then tune out for the main or vice versa, the way it's cut up.
Yeah, you don't have to.
And there's also Last Chance Kitchen kitchen their other side show on youtube so if you really want to get invested while also
not getting invested you can do that um are you watching top chef portland right now i am watching
top chef portland right now i don't know how to watch it where do you watch it uh i watch it on
this dumbass app fubo that my sister is it free we have fubo is it free
or do you have to pay for it yeah you just got to record it on bravo it's like you got to dvr it
it's not okay on demand but otherwise because it you'd have to pay for it somewhere like i don't
know how i'd pay for i just i want to see it i I do it on YouTube TV, so like Fubo. Yeah. Okay. Alright.
Okay.
You pay for YouTube TV? I do.
Is it worth it?
For sports, you know, and like
and the Oscars or whatever,
like national events and stuff like that.
I probably use it three times a week
and it is expensive. Really?
But Sam J just
Sam J just cranked me for not paying for youtube but
that but the other thing too is that gives you the chance to like just turn on the tv and like
the other thing that doesn't even count for this is like when you're at a place that just has cable
and you just sort of flip till you find something that's good enough and like that's great that you
don't really get to do unless you have something that's like a youtube tv or like actual cable pirates of the caribbean
curse of the black pearl on tnt uh-huh yeah yeah or forrest gump is always on yeah you pick it up
in the middle and you're like boy i don't you actively like right when you stop you're like
i don't give a fuck about this movie yeah just put the remote down yeah those are the best ones yeah or like the ones that are censored you know seriously a little bit
yeah yeah like you know they're gonna take out the best parts of soul plane
king kong doesn't have anything on me what do you think of this season of top chef are you enjoying it i like it i do feel
like um the the two seasons before so the all-stars one and then that one so good and
kentucky was also really good yeah and i care about some of the people on this season, but I don't care about them as much as I care about people from other
seasons.
I thought when this season started that I had like three or four chefs where
I was like,
these are my fucking ones.
Like I'm re I'm re I enjoy them.
I'm really rooting for them.
And then like,
I haven't seen the latest one cause I missed the last Thursday,
but like up until that point I was like,
I don't really
can't i maybe like one or two of them i like shoda i think he's cool but yeah he kind of
tail he's tailing off a little bit again i haven't seen the last week but like and then uh what's
her name the chef from portland who worked at the wine girl who does shit with yogurt all the time
yeah those are my two but that's my problem is i like the two of them and the rest i don't like
right they could all fall off of a truck or whatever sponsored car they have and i wouldn't
give a shit fall off a bmw bmw whereas like on other seasons there was like multiple where i'm
like oh i like them or i like i don't know or i also like I made this like I have I'm not gay yet we'll see what
happens in my in the rest of my 30s but I'm pretty fairly straight there are so many women on Top
Chef that I have confusing feelings for and I just like I love them so much like uh the blonde chick
from Alabama who was on the Kentucky season i've looked at her on instagram
a creepy amount like yeah just going far back sure yeah just going back and you're like boy
i hope i don't accidentally like one of these because i'm not gonna get like i'm i'm really
holding my phone gingerly just being like please don't does part of you ever kind of hope that you do like it, though? No, that's psycho shit.
Well, no.
You like my third to first photo?
Oh, no.
But then they see it, and then there's the conversation starter.
Yeah, and they're like, cool guy, joke's 87.
What's this?
Sean Cougar Mellon Jordan, this guy's got it going on.
He's hilarious.
Yeah, for some reason, I don't think she
would notice. Also, she's married
and has two children.
I don't really think that anything...
I'm sure people are liking her stuff.
I don't know why I'm focusing on this specific
scenario for me.
There's a whole event in the Olympics
where they jump over hurdles. You can get over those
two kids.
Amen.
Amen.
I did do track in high school. See? when they jump over hurdles, you can get over those two kids. Amen. Amen. That's true.
I did do track in high school, so.
See?
Yeah.
Top Chef, what a great pick.
Yeah.
And my second pick.
Third pick, yeah.
Second, third pick.
I'm really bad at this.
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
Antiques Roadshow.
Oh, shit.
Good job.
Damn, that was a very similar list. Yeah. Fuck was a similar list yeah that's a good one i figured i
wouldn't be touching you guys's list yeah that's great especially when you see either them way
overvaluing something or under about like i'll not really pay attention but then when they come
on with something that they're like oh i think this is from the civil war and it's like a real whatever and you're like no fucking way like
i'm ready to see this person get told that's a squirt yeah that's yeah that's that's just i like
it when they get like indignant too and it's like well that you brought it to the experts
because you're seeing them work through three generations of trauma where somebody's
their grandpa lied to their dad lied to them exactly like no actually your great
grandfather was not in a war yeah or whatever this is a muhammad ali's rocking chair
michael jordan autograph plaques you can get at a card shop for like 20 bucks and i'm like
this is a dad this ain't michael jordan did not sign this it might be a copy of his signature But you did not get this
Placked up rookie card
Of Michael Jordan signed for 20 bones
I don't know how to tell you
He was like what an incredible deal
Seriously
I just took this guy to the car shop
For a ride
I know that's his entire life
That dipshit that works at Rainbow
But I'll tell you
I know he opened a card store
But somehow he
didn't notice michael jordan autograph was worth it yeah he yeah he did pull that on me i love
antiques roadshow they have like the british for the original i i guess it's a british show
originally but you can go back and watch like the british antiques roadshow really because they got
real old shit real old where they're like this is from the 1500s and it's priceless.
Stuff like that.
That's what I got.
Because I paid for and then canceled.
I so wanted to watch Antiques Roadshow that I got the PBS app, which charges you after a month.
And I made a reminder in my phone because I was like, I will never need this again.
I just want Antiques Roadshow to the dome and then cancel it forever and never look
back and that's what i did so i i should pay for the pbs app costs money yeah isn't that doesn't
it make zero sense yeah it's got public in it yeah i guess because it's like accessing old
it was like part of i think because it's part of the whole and i could be very wrong like the
discovery plus something like once you get into the world of streaming shit or something it was
something where like after 30 days it was like getting title that app i was like i gotta get
rid of this after 30 days i cannot have it after 30 days oh you mean yeah there he goes yeah david's a title lifer do you use it a lot oh it's all i use to stream music really i have a jay-z thing i'm getting
over it no you're not it's fine i'm not upset i'm not mad about it also they pay the artists
artists the most for any streaming service and it does have the highest audio quality that's
all i'm gonna say this is gonna be telling is taylor swift on there yeah taylor swift's on there
you're in you're in friendly waters yeah yeah i love taylor swift all of her stuff like the
complete collection i mean that's another one where i'm like i'm just in they got taylor's
version of these songs i yeah and i feel bad because i'm listening to taylor's version because i know it's the right thing but
then it just makes me fucking hungry for the original version and i'm like i gotta i gotta
play the original after but she still makes some money right it's got taylor's version yeah i'm not
worried about her finances i'll tell you that uh the integrity and things but i think she's doing
all right financially i'll go on record okay because you said it i feel better no i think you're right am i insane i don't
even know the story let's just say you're right even if even if we don't 100 know what we're
talking about but that sounds right and i think you are she basically the guy who i think is what
justin bieber's manager scooter braunoter Braun. They bought all her original shit,
so she's just re-recording it
so that she owns those masters instead,
which is a cool move.
Oh, so he bought her masters?
So she's re-recording.
Like, music that she hasn't sung
since she was like 15 years old,
she's just re-recording it.
Yeah.
And honestly, I'm there for some of it.
Like all that, like the old um
you know all you're gonna be is mean stuff like that oh i love that give me the grown-up version
i like it oh i gotta because i was um that i also like uh you know this is not that's not why we're
here we don't have to talk about it it's always why i want to be here but no that has not yet been why we're here
david time for your third pick my third pick this comes straight out of stand-up comedy
uh every hotel i feel like is like it's automatically on spike tv when i turn it on
and i just never change the channel so this is a bar rescue john taffer scares the shit out of me there's a bar
in burbank that you can go to that's a bar rescue bar it's basically all balls bars in
yeah that's true it's like every bar that you've ever gone to on the road like in like michigan
turned it into a big hunk of shit i it sucked after they rescued
it it was dope before they did it was the first party i ever did stand up at yeah it was tonic
man they and it was dope and then they rescued it and it's like we need more corrugated metal
on the walls and you're like no you don't dog it's gonna make it something called the panic
room which is like nobody wants that horrible name that is such a john taffer idea and it was
like electrocution shit it's right
that's right the panic room like when i want to go out for drinks with my friend you want to go
to the panic room where you go if someone's trying to murder you and break into your house but what
the fuck absolutely they did for real maneuver i love it i love john taffer he looks like he looks
the way that he talks is like his skeleton is trying to leave his skin.
And that's fun.
He does look like a tiptoe talker.
Like he does a lot.
It's very like this, like they can't see.
But also, yeah.
And then it's good for like there's three or four emotional breakdowns every episode.
But you don't really have to pay attention.
Just like, oh, yeah, they're getting the cocktails together.
Back to fucking.
It's great i've seen them all they have one with marshawn lynch that i like have not watched yet
because i want to save it i guess they i guess they save marshawn lynch's bar whoa yeah which
i don't know how how does that mean yeah i don't know how it wouldn't be perfect that guy's perfect
but yeah bar rescue man i love it i think they've done a couple comedy clubs on there
i like that
you said that spike tv is always on and in my head i was picturing at the hotel they're putting it on
because you're coming they know that you're gonna be a writer yeah and they're like make sure it's
like tv's on that's we we've got to put it on mr bory would like his pillowcase soaked in red bull
with spike tv playing when he arrives spike tv and for some reason, a bunch of towels. He's going to use way too many towels.
Mr. Borey gets worked up when he watches John fix bars.
Just sweating profusely watching him talk about the money they're wasting on liquor when they overpour.
Yeah, just looking out the window at Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Use the jigger.
God damn it.
Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
I love it when they send the people in the beginning to do like recon.
Like I just watched one the other day, and it was so crazy.
The guy called his waitress white trash, and then he fucked something up,
and John was like, who's trash now?
And the guy was like, it's me.
I'm white trash.
It was so funny. that show is so funny our owners are funny people apparently yeah it's just a great show to marathon in the background sean time for your third pick this is the original
show that i didn't give a shit about back in the day and i it's been sparked my love for it has been sparked by
a version of it that just came out again they did a new version so i think that i will get
these in a package deal but i'm picking the real world and the reason i picked that and i
was anyone else going to pick anything involved with the real world no no so the challenge is on uh is on paramount
plus right now and i started watching it and i was like so it's my half hour immediately i know it is
i go by it every time i'm trying to find the challenge i'm like get this shit clogging up my
feed i'm trying to get to the dang shit i was watching it and immediately i was like boy i don't
give a fuck about this but i remember all these fools from when I didn't give a shit about them the first time
on the real world.
Nothing against them.
It's just the programming was so easy to just passively watch.
And this is before phones when you didn't really have a reason to not pay attention
to stuff.
And I still found a way to not pay attention to the real world.
Like if it was on all day, I'd be like, that's going to be on in the living room all day.
You just be flipping through an entertainment weekly or something. literally was like i would borrow my mom's people magazines and
i would look at them while the real world was on yeah and think about oh i want to be like them
when i get older and i very much do not feel that way now but back then i thought they were so cool
that's what's funny about the challenge is like they're all older than me so now it's like all
these fools from 20 years ago they're on the challenge i'm like they're all older than me so now it's like all these fools from 20 years ago they're on the challenge i'm like they're still older than me so this still doesn't
make me feel terrible because they're always gonna be older than me so this is fun to watch
that mark dude's like 50 and he was on the first road rules ever and he's still just the one thing
i did want pay attention to was how shredded all these people could be and get hammered all the
time it doesn't make any sense to me well they also but they weren't allowed to watch tv in the houses i don't know that much about road i was
more of a real world than a road rules person but i know that they like couldn't watch tv because it
would get in the way of capturing moments of them talking so like all they could do all day was
probably like work out work out and yeah right yeah i mean they're basically the same show but
yeah real world road rules that was the first
time where i was like man i don't care about this but i'm watching it i'll i can tell you
everything that happened i bet people on the challenge are juicing too i bet people
it's like going to prison you're like oh i got a challenge coming up let me get on the sauce
you know what's fun about the challenge is that they so during the day they're very physical and
then that just shows them now they they've lifted all the curtains they just show them flooding into the bar they
have on site they have masked bartenders and everything and they're just getting them
shithouse they all talk shit to each other say the meanest things and then the next day it's
like they're just cool it's like they've all adopted the formula they're like all right let's
get let's get shitty and say some mean stuff for TV and then we'll do the physical stuff and then we'll all count counter checks.
It's dope.
Easy to ignore.
Okay.
I have never seen a single real world relay, an episode of the real world or a like really
doesn't strike me as odd one bit.
I can't, I would have, I would have bet on, I would have bet on that.
I watched some of the Denver one because when they were here, it was like everybody hated them.
And my buddy Ampon worked at the store they went to.
And he was like, oh, they're the worst.
And they were like down on market where nobody was.
They were in Portland, too.
Someone threw a bar stool at him.
It was like a big to-do about town.
They went to Holman's, which was like our bar.
And someone whipped a bar stool across the bar at him.
That's a little uncalled for.
But yeah, nobody liked him anywhere, I don't think.
That's a little uncalled for, but yeah, nobody liked them anywhere, I don't think. Also, that's impressive.
I feel like they make
bar stools heavy on purpose
so that you can't do that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm saying.
Not that I'm going to bars
doing that.
I don't know if it's a personal
experience or anything,
but somebody definitely
got mad and threw it at Holman's
and, you know,
definitely wasn't talking
to one of my ex-girlfriends
or anything like that,
so I don't know how it happened
or how I know but anyway
real world excellent time for my third and fourth picks with my third pick i'm gonna take i'm gonna
stay in the reality television vein and i'm gonna take anthony bourdain's no reservations
great yeah fantastic another thing that like i've seen all of it so many times through but
it's a perfect tune in tune out i just i just fucking love it it's also a great like i don't
know what to watch like let me throw something on show yeah yeah yeah yeah which up until recently
i was between i was between programs i now have the mayor of east town which i'm like very into
and like dude it is so good and depressing at the same time i was trying to explain to someone and they're like
why is it why do you love it so much if it's so depressing i was like i don't know it just is
it's not it's not as depressing as like most prestige tv i would say no no you're right
it's it's made a little it's slightly pulpier no reservations i don't have a lot to say about it
other than it's great to throw on in the background the episode you know yeah there's like fun recurring characters
sometimes beautiful places delicious food perfect tune in tune out stuff um i'm gonna go i'm gonna
go scripted with my next one and i i have to take uh a show that it's it's beloved to me but one that I've seen so many times now
that I can I can just go ahead and tune right the fuck out and that is the Gilmore Girls
yeah I knew oh yeah I still haven't seen it man that's next I've never seen a single episode
I love it I've seen a few it's very charming yeah in a way where i'm like why don't i ever watch this it's so charming and
cozy i've seen it i just finished my fourth rewatch and like it's just it's just perfect
a lot of fun little characters some season-long arcs but most but every episode itself is like
it's not fully self-contained but there's enough that each episode has its own like storyline so
you can just kind of like tune in for one episode and then tune out for a few and then tune back in
and sure yeah i just i just love it i would i wouldn't be being honest with myself if i didn't
take it it's like no i've i've heard nothing but good thing my whole thing was i always thought the
name rory is hard to say that's the main girl and it took me out of it when like when friends would talk about
it i was like that seems like a tough name i'm having a hard time saying the name rory and it
would piss me off and then i just would never i don't want to talk about this at school tomorrow
i gotta say it wrong embarrass myself
she's got a very like just so upper crust uh new england grandmother who's like rory
she does it like that and that's a funny way you can say it
isn't the mom's name lorelei yeah lorelei and rory
that's a crazy combo like on paper when they were writing that down you don't think that
would look crazy and say like lorelei and rory this can't be right i'll tell you is rory short is her name also lorelei
is it really
the elusive girl jr
you put out a didn't you put on a uh a soul album under the Elusive Girl Jr.?
Yeah, I don't want to...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a you and Jill Scott on a bunch of tracks.
The Elusive Girl Jr.
Oh, man.
Love black, surely. Gilmore Girlsmore girls sean time for the fourth pick i feel like it's gonna
it's not a popular opinion uh among my two podcast mates but maybe you'll get my back on this logan
scrub i did love scrubs i did love so scr Scrubs and Friday Night Lights are my two favorite shows ever
and I think they're both perfect in many different ways
but Scrubs is for me
I throw it on all the time
it's on all the time
I can pick up I know exactly where I'm at
so it's specific you have to know where you're at
because it is
you do know Superman
but I think it's fantastic
I love that show to pieces.
For me, my thing with any show that I might pick, except for the cooking or the antiques or whatever, is I'll hit a season where I stopped watching just because I thought it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be anymore or I just didn't care.
And if I rewatch, I have to stop there.
Anytime I've tried to keep going, I suddenly am like, no, I can't.
So I feel like with Scrubs, I was into it for the first four seasons.
And I even had them on DVD.
And then after that, so I'll do a rewatch of the early guys, but I might depart from
yours.
I had a similar wall with scrubs
which was like 35 seconds into the first episode yeah i have like a short one of my first one of
my first memories ian walks into his apartment and he's like he just looks and he goes scrubs
not on my tv and he shut it off it was so funny to be fair though i've really never tried to watch it so it could be a wonderful
show it's just never clicked for me it's very it's it's i i liked it because i feel like if
you'd introduced it to me now i think the fact that i did used to like it so much is a big factor
in me still liking it you know like for sure sure, yeah. Someone was like, watch this now.
Now I know too much about Zach Braff
and he dated that girl who's like 20
and I'd just be like, no, I don't want to watch this.
But I hope Donald Faison's doing well.
I haven't seen him in a while.
Oh, he's still living off clueless money.
That's a fair point, very fair point.
Yeah, he's cashing.
Yeah.
So yeah, scrubs.ubs oh yeah my turn yes indeed sister sister oh yeah i just like uh it's i just put it
on in the back a lot it's a very boring show you don't realize it until the last few rewatches.
It's very boring.
Nothing really ever happens.
They just kind of get older,
but it's like good to tune into every now and again.
You're like, oh, hey, there's Roger.
He's hot.
Maybe you guys should quit shitting on him.
But like, yeah, I just, I like it.
I like it today.
Why open up a checking account?
What'd you do?
I went to the grocery store and And then they just kind of.
When they had to crank out 26 episodes a season,
that is kind of the feature of the sitcom is that they are boring.
Is there twins?
No, it isn't.
Or I think they're twins.
Oh, yeah, okay.
I think of sitcoms in general,
but you're 100% right.
Can you believe these twins are in the world?
Well, they could just be doing whatever they wanted on the show.
Because they're like, and then these twins are going to be doing the heavy lifting.
Because people will be like, whoa, twins.
Look at those weirdos.
Look at this.
I was like, oh, I totally know where he's going with this.
Like, I agree.
The twin thing.
Your tape is so much smarter than mine.
Because it's like, with their sitcom, they were just like, what if we take this everyday ass thing but it's twins doing it and that
it is just it's just a couple of twins getting through life in suburban detroit it is so boring
but busy enough and i like the fashion oh i do like is that weird to say like some tv shows are
like weird times capsules where you're just like i remember when i do like is that weird to say like some tv shows are like weird times
capsules where you're just like i remember when everybody was dressing like that so yeah it's
very good to have because i never get invested even the lisa and ray will they or won't they
is like not excited it's just like a very boring middle tier show sure but i think that that's good
because i think also all the shows that i've done or we've talked about so far are shows I, quote, watch while doing other stuff.
But eventually I give up on the other stuff and I will just start kind of watching.
Yeah.
No matter how many times I've seen it versus something like that where like that could be on and I wouldn't ever feel like this is what I'm doing now.
It's like just to have something.
That's really all it is.
It is a completely frozen over lake.
You will never fall in.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
A hundred percent.
You're never going to get more invested.
You're never going to like care what they were doing.
It is just so fucking.
Manitoba in January.
It's frozen.
Logan, time for your fourth pick
and then your final pick.
The final one, we just do a lightning round
where we just throw it out.
Just throw it out.
Fourth pick.
I'm looking at my list.
You know, how do I want to end this?
Well, there's still more.
It doesn't really matter.
All right, here we go go how it's made do you know i'm
talking about oh i do yeah very good very very good i still think this doesn't prove my point
of watching it while doing other stuff the one you gotta look up how it's made fire hydrants
they're like icebergs do you know how far down they go they go like
because they have to connect to water which i never thought about but it just looks like a
fucking fire hydrant for like 10 more feet in the ground oh i never even thought that's pretty
buck to think about like if you just saw one laying on the street it'd be like a 15 foot fire
hydrant yeah it's wild because they just break off the top it's also
that's definitely a show that i put on when i'm very very high and everything they make is
incredible to me a lot of this like no way the crayons episode is why like i remember seeing
how they make crayons which is just really zen like you can really follow it that's a that's
that's a great one for having on in the background or like you said if you're just baked and you want to like pay the most attention to something
stupid you've ever paid like a weird amount of show where you're by yourself hi just saying oh
shit a lot like no no not that there's no way How'd they even figure out how to make hummingbird feeders?
Yeah, man.
That show is great.
That's fantastic.
I wouldn't have thought of that.
That's dope.
That's another good hotel show.
Yeah, it is.
And it's also, but I feel like it's not on enough.
Yeah.
There should be like some shitty channel where it's on.
Like, I feel like it's not on. Discovery what there should be like some shitty channel where it's on like i feel like
it's not on discovery used to run it a bunch why doesn't true tv water down some of that
impractical jokers with just like every now and then a three hour because that we need that we
don't need that watered down there's no cut on that that's true there's no cut on that that shows
you take that straight good dudes good dudes i'm gonna watch the carbonara effect there should be a network that does how it's made like true tv does in practical jokers
there should be yeah or there's got to be it's definitely something i'll look up after this
on i'll google it on the toilet is probably what i'll do just to check it out um wait so then i pick one and we rapid fire or
yeah okay you just throw one out and then yeah this one you don't even have to talk about sbu
boom fuck yeah yeah yeah damn it that's way better than mine my turn oh david i had a i i just a
quick comment i for some reason never got intoU. I was always a criminal intent person.
D'Onofrio.
See, I feel like everyone picks their law and order and they stay with it.
And for me, it's always been Mariska Hargitay in SVU.
You bet on the right horse, though, because eventually they start switching D'Onofrio's only in every other episode.
And then they ended the whole thing.
I bet on the wrong horse.
David, your final pick. Heynold oh shit it's like it's like a lot more music than you remember so it's really good to
have one in the background wow seance jordan uh that 70s show oh yeah real easy toe for grace just your only takeaway damn it i did love him and win a
date with tad hamilton what a film you know i used to have a boss named tad ratterman how buck is
that as a guy's name tad ratterman that's that's insane
did he have white teeth i picture him having very white teeth for big white teeth he was like a
willy wonka type he was real wild what yeah he's a wild is that a way you describe people now i'm
like i know less now yeah yeah what he was like a really good did he wear a hat to the olfactory when he was a kid
like what
he reminded me of like a real life if you would
be just the look
you just I can't dive in lightning
round I can't dive in too much
what the fuck
he was a willy walker I can't really back
it up too hard I just said it he just he
looked goofy he was fun
he was I don't know you just see you know that's just said it. He looked goofy. He was fun. He was, I don't know.
He just, you know, that was like off the top of the dome.
That's what I described him as.
He was a pretty rad dude.
I have two follow-up questions.
One, did you ever call him Rad Tatterman?
Dude, for days.
I knew that.
I didn't even have to ask that.
Two, who are three other people in the world who you would describe as Willy Wonka types?
Yeah, good question. And don't say Willy Won wonka you can't include or johnny depp or gene wilder
well that's three and you guys just put me on the spot way too hard i don't know i can't think of
any one other willy wonka type sarah palin is what i kind of want to say i don't know why
it feels like it works
name one other willie wonka type i'm having she's silly but terrifying
yeah yeah yeah yeah i see it walt disney thank you for picking up my slack logan i still can't
so yeah i got nothing i got nobody oh sand Ooh, Sandra Lee from Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee.
Did you guys ever see the video of that woman making a Kwanzaa cake?
And it's very funny.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
She puts corn nuts on a store-bought cake and people make fun of her.
Chaos.
She's chaos.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It is a very funny.
There's a lot to unpack here.
Did you say Kwanzaa cake?
Yeah.
I know this isn't. That's a very funny. There's a lot to unpack here. Did you say Kwanzaa cake? Yeah.
I know this isn't.
That's my production company.
She only made semi-homemade stuff.
She was the girlfriend or married to Cuomo in New York.
But she had a cooking show.
Whatever.
She did have big old titties.
It's okay for me to say it.
And I feel like that was a big part of her whatever but she would always cook stuff that was half homemade so she bought like
a store-bought angel cake angel food cake filled it with a bunch of shit this has nothing to do
with the willy wonka type but she felt like a willy wonka type and that's why i said it but
i'll send you the video for the cake it's worth it is worth yeah i'm interested it's worth watching all right
wands of cake my final pick ken burns baseball it's a limited run but i think it's long enough
that like you just throw that thing in all it is is jangly banjo music occasionally some like
1940s jazz and then like people being like man that cool papa bell could play and then it's perfect
yeah those ken burns got a good flow to it it's a slow pan on an old picture you know what i mean
it's it's yeah newsreel footage of the say hey kid it's perfect yeah ken burns and then all of a
sudden you've been watching the Dust Bowl for three hours.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm beginning to dig into that Hemingway one that's out there.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah.
So that's my final pick.
That wraps it up.
To recap, Logan, you went first. You took Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, Top Chef, Antiques Roadshow,
How It's Made, and Law & Order, SVU.
David, you went second.
You took King of the Hill, Alone, Bar Rescue, Sister, Sister, and Hey Arnold.
Sean, you went third.
You took Seinfeld, Friday Night Lights, The Real World, Scrooge, and That 70s Show.
I went last, and I took Planet Earth, The Great British Bake Off, No Reservations,
Gilmore Girls, and Ken Burns Baseball. I went last and I took Planet Earth, The Great British Bake Off, No Reservations,
Gilmore Girls, and Ken Burns Baseball.
We left some good ones on the shelf, didn't we?
We left, I mean, not a ton. I got everything I wanted.
I feel like I'm just hung over
hearing all those shows in a row.
Yeah, that does feel like a real Sunday afternoon.
It's sad because I had to put stars
next to the background shows I wanted to say
because everything now.
It's just a background show.
So I was like, wait, which are the ones I should bring up?
Because all of these qualify.
Yeah, that is true.
Well, I was going to pick Breaking Bad, which is the most riveting show of all time.
That was just a background show because phones are so big.
I only need to hear one or two.
that sometimes you can just throw it on and it's like yeah you don't notice it because it's
yeah it's such a barrage marissa do you have a throw it in the back tv show uh i'll say it's sunny in philadelphia great one that's another one they're always shouting on that show so it's
always it's you could hear it from a room over what they're saying good to have on in the background yeah that is that's good good call
i didn't know if this counted but i wanted to take golf just yeah i was wondering um i think
it would have counted yeah golf is good any golf just any baseball for that matter i also would
have said the office but it's at this point and I felt embarrassed. I was like, don't label yourself
as this right out the gate. But the first
four seasons of The Office, I can put in a loop.
Oh, yeah. It's cliche
for a reason, though, you know?
Yeah, it's an amazing show.
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We're going to have some fun new stuff
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Love, Black Shelly. that was a hate gun podcast