All Fantasy Everything - Unconventional Bangers (w/ Zak Toscani, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

Happy Thursday, all family! We hope everyone is dealing as best they can during these tough times. We figured a little insight into how we're doing might help some folks out there. That's why we got together with fan favorite, Zak Toscani, and we drafted Unconventional Bangers! What is that you ask? Well these are songs that get you stoked that weren't necessarily meant for that purpose. I'm sure you guessed already, but we get weird and fun! Enjoy ;) Episode Guest:Zak Toscani @zaktoscani IG: @zaktoscaniSupport the show! Sponsors: TodayTix: Go to todaytix.com/fantasy and use promo code 'fantasy' to get $10 off your first TodayTix purchase.Feals: Become a member today by going to Feals.com/allfantasy and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Merch: T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that is, uh, it flew down, it drove over, and then it, uh, one of the other various ways we got here. Put FLU down. We flew down, dude. Oh, current, relevant. We flew down dude oh current we flew down we flew down the podcast that if you're quarantined you can you can eat up a lot of the week with oh absolutely we're actually in four separate boxes we're not in the same room yeah and because all these stand-up shows are canceling i also got four quarantines for 180 dollars if you can solve the riddle, hit my inbox.

We're like, we can't be, we're not in the same room. We're not allowed to be in the same house. Whoa, with the coughing, dude. We're going to record the rest of the episode now, huh? You went under the shirt. I wasn't looking. It's my own microphone. I was looking at the levels, bro.

Sorry, Morris. We have not been in the same room in a minute. Because of the virus. Because of the coronavirus. We hadn't heard about it early. The same way me and the other Jews found out about 9-11 early. Wait a second. Hold on.

David, please. Zach, please. Ian. Yeah. Real quick. Yes. And seriously. Right.

Don't shit a shitter. Okay. You wouldn't, would you? What? You wouldn't bullshit it? You wouldn't shit a shitter you wouldn't would you you wouldn't bullshit a bullshitter that's not in the contract I heard what you just said you referenced your Judaism now I have a question please David Zach hold it

now you Ian you yourself I'm not hiding you're Jewish 100% bar mitzvah and everything once again we got all the time what else are you gonna listen to where are you gonna go the only podcast it's either this or the sound of whatever sound makes when dust happens. Yeah. Sometimes. Okay, let's deconstruct what you just said.

That was... The sound that... This has been a crazy start. We've been off to... Yeah. I'm fine with it. I love it. We've all been locked in,

you know, quarantine. So now we're loose. We're all like... I was in airports all day. In airports and fuselages all day. I was yelling. I was at work doing important stuff

that needs to happen no matter what. Yeah. That's what I was at work doing important stuff that needs to happen no matter what. That's what I was doing. Sincere. That's a sincere thing I just said. I believe you. I have to. What are we going to do if there's no... I'll tell you this. Everybody out there,

I bought a book the other day that's what's up oh my book that's maybe the scariest sign of this whole thing david and i we went to david goes we need to go to powell's we went to the smaller pals which is still a pretty big pile yeah we had to go there it's big pals and we're shopping for books and david pulls out i feel like and correct me if i'm wrong sort of as a joke 100% in jest are you kidding me but you know me so well you well i thought maybe you because i was getting bummed because you were like making jokes about buying books and then i was like well hey you gotta buy a book yeah we're up in here well we looked at a book that was 50 what was the first

book i can't remember what it was some book that some book that was $50. I think it was Guns, Germs, and Steals, but it was hardcover. Hardcover. $50. I wasn't feeling that. David pulls out a book called Juggalo. Yeah. It was $9.90.

I think it was like $9.87 or something. It had to be so hard for them to not charge $9.69 for it. Well, so I put it back in. That was a suggested retail price. I was like, this is kind of dog-eared. I'm going to find a different copy. The next copy was like $9.98 or something. It's a very colorful.

You wanted a dog-eared of your own copy of Juggalo. It is colorful as hell. It's just immediately sends a text to Laura, like, give me some highlighters. I'm going to need to mark this. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So we're in line. First of all, what is Juggalo about? Is that going to need to mark this. Hold on, hold on, hold on. So we're in line. First of all, what is Juggalo about?

Is that going to come up later? What's the book? It's just about the subculture. Okay. So the whole thing is like, I forget the author's name. I apologize. After I finish the book, hopefully I'll remember who wrote it. Is it like dog snarl? Is it like stinky knife wounds?

With a Z? With a Z? No, it's twisted. Is that the last name stinky knife wounds? With a Z? With a Z, no, it's twisted. Crusty socks. The last name is knife wounds? Crusty socks. Is it the Infernal Prince? Sorry, go ahead. No riffing.

No. What? We're standing in line. I'm just trying to tell this. We're standing in line. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm talking to the fucking dude. It was before we were standing in line. Talking to the dude who's selling it to me

and he said something. He's like, it's weird when people buy this book in this area of the country because nobody gets it. And I was like, I get it, bro. And then we start talking. Some dude behind me walks up. He goes, whoop, whoop, family. And he just kind of swear to God, he didn't even walk up. He floated up. He was crazy.

You guys talking about family? Wow. But he didn't even walk up. He floated up. He was crazy. So, whoop, whoop, you guys talking about family? Wow. But he didn't go like, whoop, whoop. It wasn't a joke. He goes, whoop, whoop, you talking about family? And he was so cool. And he was just like, some of the cool. So, two months ago at the hot there when I was like, bro, I want to go to another show.

And he's like, you should go, man. You fit. It was sick. That's not the funniest part of the story. Okay. The funniest part about the story. Okay. The funniest part about the story was Sean had picked the book. Yeah. He told Laura, I got a book.

Yeah. I'm walking around looking for a book. And Laura texts Sean, what was the book called? Skateboard Burrito. But five minutes prior, he was telling me about how he was going to go eat burritos with his nephew that night. Oh, my God. He had been talking about skateboarding. Oh, my God.

Every 10 minutes. Direct hit. No shit. She didn't even mean to dunk on me. Wow. She's just like, what is this? Skateboard burrito? And I was like, texting where you're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like for real laughing. Laura's in there. She's in there like David with the stock market. She's just in the warm water. She's the whole game. Oh, that's on the load. The government doesn't know about any of that.

David is Jason Voorhees on the stock market. I got $2 million that the government knows about. I built Speaker City from the ground up. I can't even read. I can barely read. Yeah, I don't know from the ground up. I can't even read. I can barely read. I, uh, yeah,

I don't know about the stock market, but I do know that that was hilarious. That's very funny. Also just to have three in that. Three juggalos in one book. Two juggalos in one book. You count as much as. Yeah.

Well, it was me, David. The cashier was not a juggalo. I think he was more of an onlooker. He was an onlooker. He was somewhat of a juggalo voyeur. Now, I don't know, but I haven't read Juggalo.

I'll come out and admit that right now. I have not read Juggalo, so I don't know that much about the culture. It does seem weird to encounter one in a bookstore in Portland, Oregon. Let alone two. Because there I was at the very same bookstore. They were dressed down.

Neither of them were wearing their dress paints. They weren't civilians. They were in their civvies. It's like when two dudes who were the Marines come together. At a bar in a push-up contest with just nothing else but a muck-like t-shirt. You need special glasses to see other juggalos.

A couple of off-duty police officers. There's contact lenses that puts the face paint on other juggalos when you see them. Oh, like juggalo-colored glasses. Exactly. I don't want to speak for you, but it seems like you're seeing this

out of Juggalo colored glasses. She's like, there's Faygo everywhere, Zach. Yeah. Everything smells like cotton candy. How the fuck does that happen? Well, I'll tell you this. It just made me want to go to a show. And I imagine I will.

It's going to happen. Once we're allowed to go to public gatherings again. The first chapter in 2025. The first chapter in the book is how they played the house of blues on on the sunset strip it just everybody like driving by looked at them like the fans like they were so crazy because they walked up with like 30 zippers and face paint like you know you would look at them like they're bananas but then they all went to this place where they're all family it's sick oh nice there's one thing i know about about juggalos is that they stay connected

like zippers on a Michael Jackson beaded jacket. There it is. Is that a juggalo? That's a line. It's a twisted line. I've seen twisted. It's a twisted line? It's a twisted line. It's a twisted with a Z. They used to open for ICP quite a bit. They probably still do.

What? I mean, Denver's Clown Town, right? Yeah. Elizabeth. If Denver's Clown Town, Elizabeth is like Gigglesburg. There's so many. That was my family's last name before they changed it. Gigglesburg?

They had to change it because of the war. Solomon Gigglesburg was my grandfather. Solomon's Gigglesburg. You think Ian chose to be a comedian oh my god dude it's been in his family Solomon Gigglesberg Solomon Gigglesberg that also sounds like a guy who could cut you

a nice piece of meat Ian where'd you get these steaks oh my uncle Gigglesworth Farms Irving Gigglesberg his family came over later but we're related Irving Gigglesberg. His family came over later, but we're related. Irving Gigglesberg. Irving Gigglesberg, my friend.

He actually noted ABA player. Yeah. Dr. Julius Irving Gigglesberg. Dr. Julius Irving is such a Jewish name. It's crazy. Everyone's like when Trump got elected, we live in a simulation. What should have tipped you off was when there was somebody named dr julius irving and it was a six seven black guy with an afro yeah you would have started yeah that was one of the best dunkers ever there's every other universe

that guy's a podiatrist and he could still be great one of the greats one of the greats too oh yeah he looks amazing shlomo Rabinowitz. Yeah. God, that'd be awesome. To be a podiatrist? Shlomo Rabinowitz. No, I'm just thinking if there was a basketball player right now named Shlomo Rabinowitz. If Amari Stoudemire, after he found out he's Jewish, he's like, I have to do the right thing. Shlomo Rabinowitz.

Oh, man. Amade. That's Amade. It's that kind of podcast. It sure is. It is ultimately that kind of podcast. It is ultimately that kind of podcast. Listen, things are weird right now. We're recording this on Thursday night,

24 hours after the president made that weird, weird, weird speech. Yeah, I was so nervous sitting at the crib. Laura was asleep. We've been having some issues in life, you know, like just some things. And she was asleep. She was resting. And I was like, hey, if you want to come. She found out her fiance's reading Juggalo.

It's called Juggalo. By Bert Skadden. She's been going to bed real early. I'm a juggalo. Yeah, I was like, you want to come watch Trump address the nation? And she was like, I guess. Yeah. And that's about what it is.

You're like, fuck, what a bummer. Trump, banks, NBA, all that shit. It all dropped within 45 to an hour. Me and Zach were just trying to get some milkshakes. And then, boom, the world dropped on us. Smash cut to 20 hours later. I'm at Ralph's. I'm buying peanut butter.

A fan comes up. Made Mitzi. Shout out to her. Oh, she's about that particular Ralph's. I'm buying peanut butter. A fan comes up. Mitsy. Shout out to her. Oh! She's about that particular Ralph's, by the way. Shout out to you. Oh yeah, she comes to Faded sometimes, too.

She gives us a grip of hot sauce. Anyway, things are weird. We're going to keep doing this, though. Fantasy drafting, very silly things. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on the gram Sean St. Clown Posse at the Powell's bookstore on Hawthorne

Jean Grey the grey jeans dude got new grey jeans with the orange you're kind of turning into Phoenix right now Jean Grey to Phoenix tell me something I don't know was that your plan? Thalen Greyjoy

wait what?on Greyjoy. Wait, what? Which Greyjoy am I? I'm one of the ones. I was trying to turn Greyjoy into Greyjean. I guess that's not that hard. Yeah, Fallon Greyjean, dude. Fee Sean Greyjean.

Yeah, Fee Sean Greyjean. There we go. I got it. There it is. It's been a stressful week at work. I'll tell you that. Yeah, you guys are tight roping. Hard tight roping. Talk about it more off mic.

So you bought a book? I bought a book. I bought a book. I bought a bing. I bought a boom. Oh. Hey. Uh oh.

Also, I'll be headlining the Grawlix show April 25th at the Bug Theater. Maybe. Maybe. God. Maybe. God. Hopefully. Hopefully. We'll see. Maybe. So that's the only thing I got coming up that might happen. Is I might headline the Bug Theater for the Grawlix on April 25th.

It really has just seeped into every single facet of everyone's lives. Yeah. Especially if your work is live performances. It's a very uncertain time for a lot of people. Is it going to be any different

by the end of April or is it not? We have no idea. A lot of stand-ups are going to have to take a long, hard look in the mirror. A lot of these open mics. This weekend, which will be this past weekend. Right here. Everybody who works there, the staff,

the servers and bartenders and things, chances are they're just out that week's income. They don't have jobs that have paid sick leave. Hopefully, they're going to cancel it, right? Hopefully. They're going to delay evictions

here in LA, I guess. I'm just glad that I buy, refurbish, and sell antique rowboats. And I have that, and that's not going anywhere. Yeah. No, no, no, no. And these are the times people are like, a rowboat? That's exactly what I need. I thought it was weird putting sheets in a comforter

inside a robo for me to go sleep. I was like, nah, it seems fine. Honey, it's perfect. We're isolationists. There's only two of us that can fit. It's a robo. It's a robed. I get to use the word niche a lot. It's quiche, too. It's quiche, dude. I fill it with eggs and I bake it.

We should start a niche quiche. We should have a niche quiche. Quiche is for people who have allergies. Jelly beans in it or whatever. It's like peanuts. Pineapple and habanero. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche.

A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche.

A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. A niche quiche. Sell it to a piece of E right there. Oh, man. Yeah. You make a niche quiche on the beach,

give it to the nouveau riche? It's a nouveau riche beach quiche. It's niche. Zach Toscani on Twitter. Zach Toscani on Instagram. Yeah. Not Italian. I'm Dutch.

Yeah, he's Dutch. With the recent ongoings, I just wanted to clear that up. The recent ongoings? Yeah. Same as Zach Toscani. Not the goings on. The recent ongoings. The recent ongoings. Yeah, the goings on. The recent ongoings, I just wanted to clear that up. The recent ongoings? Yeah. Same as Zach to Scanderson. Not the goings on, the recent ongoings. The recent ongoings.

Yeah, the goings on. The recent ongoings. Virology and otherwise. I'm doing great, man. How are you? I'm wonderful, yeah. Back in the Fortress of Solitude. I don't think Sean has noticed.

We hung a picture of the Venice Skate Park in your honor, dude. Oh, yeah. A little bit of you right there. Who took that? It's what I'm sorry. What a rude question. By the way, when someone walks in and they see a picture and they're like, who took that butter?

Like, I don't know. I think somebody who drawed who draws some bloke who drew Wallace took that picture. I don't know. But yeah, that is that really is the Venice skate park. That is sick. Isn't that cool? Yeah.

Super cool. Zach, anything? I mean, who knows what anything is going to be? Yeah, yeah. We don't know. We're honestly thinking who knows what's going to be happening. I'll be doing the Grawlix April 25th if everything goes right. During my birthday, Sean will be not

near me. He has chosen to go elsewhere. Go ahead. Be around other friends. That's okay. Yeah. We're you know watch out for for sure. Detox and announcements on Faded were yeah we're kind of just up in the air

right now about what's what's going to happen. It's going to turn into a puppet show? Yeah. Yeah. No, but it might be live. I don't know the terms. Twitching. We might be twitching on the internet.

So by Thursday, it'll be all nude. It'll be a puppet show. Yeah. Nude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nude. Yeah, naked. Naked.

Like dicks out? Dicks out. Or whatever you got. A review. It's called a review. The G is silent on Twitter. Cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram. Yeah.

Making moves all over the place. Making moves. I got some shadow. The great fats be. Listen, don't worry about me, man. Listen, the G is silent, but the Nerf guns aren't. You roll him around. He's going to get wet.

You know what I mean? I got. I saw that video. You guys fucking ambushing the lawyer. Oh, yeah. He had it coming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah oh he's got a coming he's got a lot more than that coming i got pistolas on deck at the crib yeah we had the high ground that's really what it was yeah that was what it was we planned that for a long who was upstairs you both were upstairs i was upstairs i was behind the kitchen nook thing okay who's it was your phone so it was just propped up yeah all right what isn't shown is the five minutes we were waiting for mike to show up yeah exactly and

being like what if he just pulls the mic and doesn't show up and we're just sitting here for four hours oh you mean like on new year's dude you mean mike didn't show up exactly when he said he was going nicholas dan pay not not the house uh not the state and i was just was here on new year's he was here on new year's was here on new year's made it here him and i would just say i mean i love that guy so it's fine like i can just hang out you guys would just buy yourself an idol we were just an idol i was just sitting there like huh i don't know i wonder if mike's actually gonna show up or not it's always weird because if you know it's just you two it's great but when you're expecting someone to co-op you like never you're

like well we can't get into it yet. It's weird to be like, no, there's seven people coming. We're holding a big table. When did Mike show up? Just so we're clear on it. When actually did Mike get there? Who remembers at this point? 11, 15? No, it was before that.

Mike's the type of dude that will drive an hour and a half and then hang out at your house for 15 minutes. And you're like, I mean, you got to make it worth it. I don't know, man. I mean, like, the man has his own ways and they seem to serve him well. He keeps his own counsel. He keeps his own counsel.

He prays to a different God and that God answers the prayers. That God wears sweat material top to bottom. He wears sweat joggers and backwards hats. So, I mean, we, again, who knows if anything is ever going to happen again, but, like, what do you got? Yeah, you know, man, listen, don't worry about it. I'm out here. I'm definitely moving

around. I'm active, you know, Shadow Games, Shadow Lanes, man. Diane Lanes. Watch me through the window panes. I'm around. just keep your eyes peeled don't worry about me that must be why they call it windowpane

I bet it is I don't even want to announce the live dates because it's everything's static you know what don't look for me I'll tell you what I think one of the only contents that we can

guarantee is this podcast for the foreseeable future. I guess we're for sure going to do it. And I guess we can say this now, now that it got canceled, but we were going to play Madison Square Garden. Yeah, that is April 1st. Sorry about not refunding your tickets. It was us,

My Chemical Romance, and Chingy. It wasingy's big comeback thing yeah the new song it's not as good we actually get all the money so i'm you guys were gonna draft jd in the streets we were yeah straight we're gonna have chingy and my chemical romance on at some point i don't want to say when i don't want to be a dick yeah uh but again but also don't look for a replay we will have somebody pretty exciting coming on. Oh, yeah. If all works out the way I think it's going to.

Can we talk about that on here? No. I don't know. Let's hold it. I don't want to ball out of control just yet. Don't ball out of control. I don't want to be a baller. My name is Ian Carmel. Ian Carmel on Twitter. Ian Carmel on Instagram. At Ian Carmel on Twitter. Ian Carmel on Instagram. At Ian Carmel on Jewish, that weird app in China where they were like, it could cure your coronavirus.

You're bringing up the Jewish stuff because you yourself. 100%. No, you're Jewish. 100%. All right. Bar Mitzvah and everything. Bar Mitzvah and everything? Yeah.

Cheese and rice. Yeah. you're Jewish. 100%. All right. Bar Mitzvah and everything. Bar Mitzvah and everything? Yeah. Cheese and rice.

Yeah. Just in case the COVID-19 jokes aren't funny in a week when this drops, let's just say eat on the Jewish Chevron app, the gas station. Oh, getting those fuel points. Yeah. Yeah.

Man, those oil points are dropping. Those oil points are dropping. Now, we are gathering today. Oh, I have nothing coming up watch the late late show or something and then keep an eye

out for game on or whatever I have no idea it's a weird time for showbiz feel free to stream 9.2 on Pitchfork on Spotify

there you go oh yeah watch my half hour ding dong yeah stream the buck starts here I gotta

buy the buck starts here I got a fun check the other day it wasn't't crazy, but it was just like a check out of nowhere. There were balloons on it. It was for some porn I did in college. They still put it on one of those big checks. Yeah, it was fun.

I went to a therapist today and she did her undergrad at Augustana College, which is in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Wow. Is that why you chose her? Are you going to get a good therapist at some point? Folks! What a prick.

Sean, now how much jerky are you eating? Because I feel like it's not enough. That's the kind of thing that she brings to me. That's what she said. He looked straight offended when he said that. You looked right in his face. I was trying to get it. I was trying to get it. I was trying to get the last funny joke.

We all eat too much jerky, if we want to be honest with ourselves. I mean, jerky is too much. Jerky is too much. I got a couple bags in there. I like jerky. That's one I can open. I got meat that doesn't get full. Last time I ate jerky was with Sean.

Yeah. We got to get into the homemade. Yeah, when you brought it over to my house. I don't really bite at my house. Oh, man. It was getting the smoking. Yes. Smoking meat.

Not smoking sex. It's like a split, but it's like half steak, half meat. I mean, I think we should be getting the good meat. Our four-pronged, different-viewed R&B group, smoking meat. Smoking meat. Whoa. Damn, dude. We all have wildly different views on not.

My slam poetry collective with spoken meat smoking meat and those gucci rollerblades they were they were fucking one two punch in the backfield oh man they both played at tennessee back in the late 70s they also ran numbers in chicago yes they did yeah yeah gucci back 15 16 any number uh we're gathering today in the fortress of solid dudes not only to talk about smoke and meat but also to fantasy draft via all fantasy everything podcast you're listening to right now

what is the exact phrase unconventional bangers unconventional bangers people you never knew you wanted to have sex with nope dive into what the actual definition is Unconventional bangers. Yeah. People you never knew you wanted to have sex with. Yeah. Nope. Dive into what the actual definition is.

Nope. So these are. My list would be nearly the same. These are songs that fucking pump you up. Yep. But they are not made for that specific purpose. There we go. So unconventional bangers. Right.

Not made to pump you up. But when. Exactly. But when you hear it, for whatever reason, it hits you directly where you're like, no, man, this song fucking gets me going. Right in the xiphoid process. It's weird you hit the coffee table with your chest. I hit the coffee table

with my royal blue foam posit, which I wore today for some reason. I bust these out every like four months. I think you think they look crazy on you, but they look good on you. They look fucking dope. They look great. There's a few people at work I got to keep guessing.

You know, so I keep them guessing. Yeah, people walk by your office and they're like, who bucks it? The only person I keep guessing is Laura, and she's like, where do you get the money for all these shoes? That's how I keep her guessing. I'm like, listen, you made the right choice. I'd love to get married.

I'm missing heavily in Hornets stole them. You made the right choice. I'd love to get married. It's so fun. I invested heavily in Hornets jerseys in the 90s. I invested with the five-finger discount. You know what I mean? I'm liquid right now. I took two hands to steal them. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.

They're big shoes. Took one hand to steal them, one hand to give the guy the finger. I'm out, Tony. And I'm out. Just like the trash on a Thursday. Charge it to the game. Yeah. Charge it to the game. Charge it to the baby.

So, the way we determine the order of that draft is with a rollicky game of rock, paper, scissors. Play between the three. Are you shooting up? Cool. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! David wins! He shot up. We barely even moved. What was that?

I don't remember. I tend to shoot up because I win. He shot up? We barely even moved. What was that? Nothing. I don't remember. I tend to shoot up because I win. Here's actually what I said. The good Robin Hood is on Netflix right now. That's what I meant to tell you. The comic costume one? Yeah, yeah. It's on Netflix.

Should we hit palms? Yeah, sure. All right, everybody. Also, the good Robin Hood. And tune in next week. More important than all that. Sorry, we didn't do the draft. The Disney one is a good one too.

And that's on Disney Plus right now. Oh, yeah. The animated. Yeah, with all those Roger Miller songs. You know what was weird? It all seemed like so many people had early sexual child thoughts about that movie specifically. That fox was fucking hot. That fox was hot.

Yeah, yeah. He's a hot fox. Yeah. I was hot foxing. David, you won rock, paper, scissors. So what is it coming up on you to determine the order of today's draft? Before you do that, I will remind you,

it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question for both of you. Couple dipshits, huh? So do you guys ever have toaster strudels? Oh boy. Did you ever get a... Yeah. Remember? We never have toaster strudels? Oh boy. Yeah. We never had them, but I did see the commercials.

When you put a toaster strudel in the toaster and then you see a little girl. No, I'm kidding. That was from last week. So when you get a toaster strudel, you pull it out and then they give you a frosting packet. Sure. Well, if you hadn't eaten that already. Well, Zach plays by his own rules

Zach's the kind of kid that ate plain toaster strudels for years and then saved up do they also have the breakfast scrambles maybe those never heated right but we're not talking about those we're talking about strudels so you get the strudel and there were two of them

and then you have the two frosting packets so for me I'd always heat the one i'd eat the one with no frosting and then the second one i would get it out of the toaster and then i would just take the frosting and methodically i would go just like a serial killer from left to right and then i would go down just a tick and then from right to left and then down just a tick and then left to right down just a tick almost to where i couldn't stand it and then i would do that and that one frosting would run out and then i would grab the other one because i saved the other frosting and i would go that's a lot of frosting but then you start like uh you do like the the lattice is that is that the like the like where you go diagonal so like

top right to bottom left wow and then bottom left to top right wow and then top right to bottom left and then bottom left to top right and then top right to bottom left and just kind of do that until it looks amazing and then you eat it and go to school what's the flavor? after you took a bath in high school strawberry did they ever have different flavor

of the strudels or was it always just strawberry blueberry I'm sure raspberry. They had a wild berry one that was real bad. What is wild berry? Whatever is wild berry. Blackberries, boys berries probably. Halle berries.

A lot of berries. Marvin berry. You know your cousin? Marvin berry. Is this the strudel you've been looking for? Yeah, that one. Basically, what it means is you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. With that in mind,

what will the order of today's All Fantasy Everything Fantasy Draft be? Ian, David, Sean, Zach. Ooh. Alright. The hot quarters of the strudel. Ah, yes. Zach and I are the hot quarters. So, Ian Carmel, I am on the clock with the first pick in the strudel. Ah, yes. Zach and I are the hot corners. So, Ian Carmel, I am on the clock

with the first pick in the All Fantasy Everything. Conventional bangers. On conventional bangers and with that first pick. We'll be right back after a short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything

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Rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back! Welcome back to All Fantasy! Everything! The only podcast on Earth! Everything! The only fucking podcast on Earth! You have nothing. There are no other podcasts. You should be on your knees when you listen

to this. Be thanking us. This is the only fucking podcast there is. This is the only podcast there is. She only won't. Us and Katie's. Us and Katie Nolan. Oh, Sports is the other podcast. Yeah. Katie who? Katie Nolan. Katie Yeslin. Huh? Alright. Yeah, she's amazing. I tried to be a dick for a second. Don't? Katie Nolan. Katie Yeslin. Huh?

She's amazing. I tried to be a dick for a second. Don't be a dick to Katie Nolan of all people. I'm trying to. She's a saint. She's going to cut your head off. She's a saint. Katie Nolan. Yeah, well, I'm saying. She dink.

I don't like this look out of you. I was kidding. And you know what? You know what hurts especially about it? Because I love this look out of you I was kidding And you know what that hurts especially about it Because I love this look out of you With the lighter grey top The hat looks cool The red and the orange is a nice combo But then you just Spit shit out of that mouth

Then you just took a big dump On it Wasn't someone going to make a fucking pick or something? You took a big, gross dump, all of. Don't we draft things? You took a heavy. Don't we sometimes draft things? You took a steamy, sloppy dump on this engagement party.

You went hog shit all over. Don't we sometimes have a draft? Yes. Ian Carmel is on the clock with his. By the way, what's the order again? Ian, David, Sean, Zach. Tight. And then Sean, David, Ian, Ian, David,

Sean, Zach, Zach, Ian, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Sean, David, Ian, Ian, David, Sean, Zach, Zach, David, Ian, Ian, it's like that, dude. Man, that sent me to a place. With my first pick, y'all have to let me know if this is okay.

It gets me fucking psyched. Yeah. It really feels like it's not meant to. Sure. It used to make me so... It used to be a song I would cry to in high school. Full disclosure. The song is Where Is My Mind by the full disclosure the song is where is my mind by

sure i feel like we're going to encounter a lot of depressing songs in this. But if so, if I'm in a good place, a depressing song can really get me stoked. You've said that before. It doesn't really do that for me ever. Yeah, me too. It's all a situation.

Sorry, go ahead. No, don't let him go. Ian, go ahead. Actually, shut up. It's like you age with with the song so sometimes it hurts you deeply there's like could be a long time and then eventually it kind of loses that and becomes something else or you become nostalgic about that yeah yeah yeah so it's like it doesn't cut you as deeply but you're like oh i still feel it it was it was definitely a song and nothing to do with i

actually got into it before it was in the movie Fight Club. Right. Easy. Easy dickhead. He was also fighting people before Fight Club too. Pretty cool. Easy dickhead. That seems queer that you would do that. It was quite queer. Quite queer indeed.

Quite queer indeed. I was definitely listening to it at a time when I was depressed about other shit. But if you do, if you listen to the lyrics, there's nothing like depressing in the song. Right. It's like. If you feel the air, your head on the ground.

Try this trick and spit it. Yeah. Yeah. Your head will collapse. And there's nothing in it. And you'll ask yourself Where is my mind I don't know it just gets me fucking jazz now

That guitar in it is so fucking amazing So Anybody out there correct me if I'm wrong But I feel like that was in Dustin Dolan's part In Baker 2 Right around the Fight Club era. I hope there's somebody

driving right now who's like, fuck that. Hopefully it's Donovan. He don't drive. I think it was in Dolan's part right around Baker 2 before I knew about Fight Club.

I feel like that was in a skate video and that's why I love that song. I feel like that was in a skate video and that's why I love that song. I feel like that. Because I know I love it for a video part, but I think I didn't hear it first in Fight Club. Also, even in the context of the movie Fight Club, it's not supposed to be like, hell yeah, dude.

All those buildings are collapsing. You're just like, oh God. So yeah, I think that totally works as an eventual. Portland's own, the Pixies, right? No. I thought they were. No. Portland's own Chuck Palahniuk.

Yeah. My club. Yeah. Yeah. But no, the Pixies are not from Portland. Well, they're from Sioux Falls. They moved to Portland like I did. Oh, yeah.

Around the same time as you, right? Yeah. Man. And when they first moved there, they were were running all the time, eating tuna sandwiches. They were great. Went on a mad diet. Mad Ian at Dante's one time. During a comedy contest.

They didn't watch the Trailblazers, but the Trailblazers were on, and they were like best friends. It was a playoff game. It wasn't even the Blazers, I think, if I remember right. It was just like, you like basketball, right? They're from Boston. Boston, Mass. Man, I knew They're from Boston. Boston, Mass. Man, I knew that.

You guys all passed the test. Boston Robins. They'll throw some fucking curveballs at you, Boston. They'll throw you a Mike Malloy, but then they'll throw you the Pixies. Yeah. I would love to see the Pixies live at some point. I feel like that would be really fun. Yeah, it'd be amazing.

Yeah, no further questions, Your Honor. Just where's my live at the Pixies? Is this my first unconventional banger? Sure. They have so many good songs. further questions, Your Honor. Just Where's My Mom and the Pixies is my first song conventional banger. They have so many good songs. My big, big dick. Uh, David, time for your... It's actually My Big, Big Dick by the Pixies. My Big, Big... That song is about, like,

a big dick. My big, big love. They should have just said My Big, Big Dick. What radio were they trying to get on back then? Same with all kids' songs. They call me Dr. Dick. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, yeah.

I want to have a big dick and have a really big dick. Just say what you mean to say. Just say what you mean to say, guys. Say what you mean to say. Yeah. Say it with your chest. Say it with your chest. David, your first pick. me uh start this by saying i don't think any of you guys are gonna have heard these songs i don't

fucking care you're talking to three of us or the listeners at home anybody yeah it's just i'm gonna pick the songs i want i hate it when i can't believe well i'm not you and i've never heard the fucking songs you've heard yeah these are the ones i like i'm picking i can't believe well i'm not you and i've never heard the fucking song you've heard yeah these are the ones i like i'm picking i can't believe nobody took flogging molly yeah well that's not where i'm from you dingbat yeah i don't want that to be a super cut of your stand but stand up that's not where i'm from you dingbat i jumped in right when you were about to announce i'm sorry i'm picking two wrongs by wyclef jean and claudette ortiz of city high fame oh and that song it's just a love song but the chorus gets me so juiced to like do chores and shit it feels so good you've never

heard that song have you can you give me yeah they say two wrongs don't make it right. But if I'm wrong, I ain't trying to fight. I'm trying to have some dinner with some candlelight. And lay up in the bed and make love all night. It's beautiful. And it's totally, it's just a love song. Nice. And just something about the Spanish guitar. And I love, I've loved Wyclef's voice my whole life.

I love Wyclef's. Wyclef went through a real Spanish guitar phase. Yeah, he really loved it. Around the carnival. Yeah, he really loved around the carnival Yeah When he was trying to launch city high and just like I'll get real drunk and just play that song in my house Sometimes I love it. I listen to a lot of the carnival. It's a really Cry oh, yeah. Yeah. Guantanamera's on that song?

Oh, so good! What's up, what's up? Look, look, look, look, look, here. Look, I showed you, got back. Should I? Yeah. Hold on. There's too many in the wolf pack.

And my friend Nick had... So the first skate video I made for all of our crew, Nick had a song from the carnival, and I'd remember a fraction of Lauryn Hill's verse. Something, something, something. Yellow cheese bus getting beaten when i cuss that ah that's all i remember yeah anybody look it up it was a really good song and nick was deep into the carnival but yeah i get it and uh you know like i said this song has nothing to do with it's just it's just a pretty typical love song right i just always liked it. It's just a pretty typical love song.

Right. I just always liked it so much. It just gets you there. The chorus gets me big time. Yeah, it's warm and it'll get you there. And that's my one not depressing song. I knocked it out first. So the rest is going to be weird, sad rap. Sean, time for your first pick.

No one's picking. I saw that I would bet 10 bucks I know what Sean's picking I have I have a bet of one of yours too You both think you know what I'm picking So do you think it's going to spoil future picks

If We let it be known What you think I'm going to pick Because I'm interested I think it could, yeah I think they'll both be honest known what you think I'm going to pick because I'm interested. I think it could, yeah. I think they'll both be honest about what they think it is. I think just say what it is. Nobody's lying to fucking flex. We also talked

about it in the car. We both talked about it in the car. My first pick is Nothing Compares by Sinead O'Connor. 100%! 100%! I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant. But nothing, I said nothing can take away this blues. Because nothing compares.

Nothing compares to you. And on the car ride, I was like, I think I know one of Sean's picks and it's Sinead O'Connor. Yeah, that's what I said too. If I'm in a good space, which I, man, I mostly am. I mean, rarely am I in like a shitty where I listen to that song and it really makes me want to go like do something. But yeah. All the flowers at the planet mama. In the backyard.

It's such a good song. What were you going to say? Sometimes when you eat your dinner in a fancy restaurant. We, so we'll go skate at the sewer in Sioux Falls. That's a skate park. And Mike, who's the best skater in town, will play that. And I will. That's Mike.

He's the best skater in town. He doesn't play songs for anybody. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Tell me more. Tell me more. Ooh, that's Mike. That's Mike. Mom, mom, Mike from the sewer played my song. Mom, drop me off here. I'm going to walk. That's Mike. That's Mike. Mom, Mike from the sewer played my song.

Mom, drop me off here. I'm going to walk. That's Mike. Oh, that's Mike. He's the best skater in town. He's the best skater in town. Oh, man. Have you ever heard of Mike?

He's only the best skater in town. Mom, drop me off at the corner. Mike's there. You know that. He dropped me off. He's going to A.B. Oh, man. Is that your friend friend mike the rollerblader mom he's only the best skater in town mom stop being a fucking bitch this you know mike that's what you say to mom when she talks about like that that's what you say to mom when she talks when she talks about Mike

like that Mike is the best skater in town leave no doubt about it listen I've turned all over all over the store I've been under all these bridges nothing compares gets me so stoked

I know that living with your baby was sometimes hard. I want to go do a kickflip right now. But I'm willing to give it another try. Hi, hi, hi. Sorry, Marissa. What other podcast

are you going to listen to, you creeps? That's Scream, sorry. Well, you know, I got excited. I got? That's screen silence. Sorry about that, everyone. Well, you know, I got excited. I got real excited. The Emmy's freaking plugging her freaking ears. It's not. It's a statue.

We looked over. It's just a statue. I talk about it a lot. I do talk about it a lot. We wanted to make sure. It's X-Term, baby. Okay. Zacula, your first pick?

My first pick is going to be Song Cry, Jay-ZZ from the MTV Unplugged. It's not a pump up song whatsoever. No, that song is so sad. It's very sad. It's very real. I don't know why. She's got a new friend, man. But it's like.

Exactly. You don't just pick up and leave me sick like that. Man. That song is so. That song does fuck me up, dude. It does. I can't see him coming down my eyes. So I got to make the song cry.

It's. Man. I'm like looking off just thinking about it well that's the thing about all these is like to most people it's not going to you know all of our picks for other people they're gonna be like really that song gets me this way or this way whatever fucking it's like the weird puzzle piece that just fits and i'm like i'm able to fucking focus yeah and like use all my energy that i need to wow just because watching something awful you're like well that's not i'm not gonna be doing that you mean right that song too is like it's a reminder

because he's not even rapping he's just like talking right and then the woman singing is like sounds like a love song and you're like oh god yeah and he's just like pleading with this like oh man that song is deep it's weird because sometimes what is motivating to me is to go into shit that is very depressing because then i'm like oh well i guess what I'm dealing with isn't so bad in comparison. And also where he's at now, you're like, oh, was that better that it didn't work out?

Cause now he's with someone. So it's, I don't know. You see it from a bunch of perspectives. He was just fucking those girls. He was going to get right back. Right. Exactly.

I haven't thought about the lyrics in any of my songs. Not that they're. Oh, really? Yeah. No, I just, I think about, I've been thinking about songs that get me stoked. That seems like they're oh really yeah no i just i think about i've been thinking about songs that get me stoked that seems like they they seem like they shouldn't

get you stoked but yeah the lyrics haven't really been coming into play which is weird damn all right yeah that jay-z song that's man that's that's such a good song yeah it's a great song maybe not a banger for everyone but it's an unconventional one for me. Certainly unconventional. It's banger. You don't think I've noticed you've been sitting out this whole conversation? Oh, I'm sending a text. I'm sending a word box. Certainly unconventional. I love that song.

The only thing you say, well, certainly unconventional. What's your next shirt? Skip to your next fucking pick already. Alright. My next pick? Skip to your next fucking pick already. Alright. My next pick. Oh man. I just have so many fucking songs. Is it going to be conventional this time? No. Jesus, you prick.

I'm going to go. Oh boy. I'm going to go Thank You Alanis Morissette. Wow. Thank you, India. Thank you, terror. Thank you, this illusion. Thank you, frailty. Thank you, consequence. Thank you, thank you, silence. That gets you stoked.

Dude, very spiritual. Very, you're aware that you're not in control of everything, That gets you stoked. Dude, very spiritual. You're aware that you're not in control of everything, but you're just thankful for everything. The shitty stuff, the great stuff. You're, yeah, I don't know. It just gets me there. I got you, man.

We're diving into lyrics way more than I thought we were. Man, these lyrics are crazy. Right? How about getting off these antibiotics? How about stopping eating when I'm full up? How about them transparent dangling carrots? How about that ever elusive kudo? Wow.

And she says, thank you, India. Thank you, terror. Thank you, disillusionment. Thank you, frailty. Thank you, consequence. Thank you. Thank you, frailty. Thank you, consequence. Thank you. Thank you, silence. Yep.

All right, Alanis. That whole line was lifted for my half hour. You didn't have to read. You fucking opened with that, too. Yeah, dude. What a bitch. We see you, Alanis. Angie's going to thank you. Thank you, arguments.

Thank you, grievances. Yeah. You know, she's appreciative of the whole trip. you, arguments. Thank you, grievances. Yeah. You know, she's appreciative of the whole trip. Not just the great moments. Providence. That was off the album. Rhode Island. Former Providence, Rhode Island, of course.

Famously named after Providence, Rhode Island. Supposed former infatuation junkie. What a name. Wow. Did you get jazzed by that when it first came out, or was it a later jazz it was a later jazz i saw it in a movie and that's when i rediscovered this movie called the way by directed directed by emilio estevez you mean the mgk version not mgk g easy or was it mgk

same guy different periods if either of those people matter to you fine they're different but for us that's the same guy we're not old but we're getting old enough that G-Eazy and Machine Gun Kelly have to be the same guy you know what I mean I can't in my brain be like actually here's some details that wasn't Machine Gun Kelly that was

G-Eazy and you're like now I have to walk miles home to a house I don't live at. That's the same guy. Exactly. If I fucking, then I don't remember what my older sister's birthday is. April 6th, by the way. Happy birthday, Jessica Blaylock.

You do have to make a stand at some place. Yeah, that's my stand. April 6th? Yeah. That's Big Tork Daddy's birthday, too. Is it Big Tork Daddy's birthday? Big Tork Daddy's birthday. Well, how lucky is he that he gets to share it with Jessica Blaylock, queen of the Pacific

Northwest? Boom. Yeah. Boom. Yeah. QPNW. QPNW. Homeowner. Beautiful homeowner.

Yeah. Homo. Also stands for beautiful homo. Beautiful homeowner. Beautiful homo. I was going to say homo. Man, rarely, sometimes it just happens like that. A lot of people are one or the other.

Yeah. She's both. Love her. Awesome. Shout out. I need to text you she's both. I love her. Awesome. Shout out to her. I need to text you back, actually. I love you. By now, I will have texted you back.

Okay, cool. Sean, do you have one for your second pick? Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines in my face. Getting clearer. The past is gone. It went out like dust at dawn. I forgot the rest of the lyrics.

They say music can alter moods And talk to you But can it load a gun up for you And cock it too Right? That wasn't the Eminem song? Yeah, yeah, yeah He's got the dues in life to pay His stepfather hit him so he sucked Back

Dream On by Aerosmith Gets me so stoked And I feel like all my picks are from skate videos, but it was Rodney Mullen, Secondhand Smoke. That was a song. I think there's a... Get your finger out of the air. Do you want to say objection?

Yeah, I feel like... You are Ivan's son. I am. I was wondering if Ivan's real son, Ian, was here. My last name is Gigglesberg. Ivan and Ian Gigglesberg. I'll be your attorney, Ivan Gigglesberg. You're like, fuck, I'm going to lose this case.

What's the objection? It just seems like a banger. That's just like, right? That's made to be a banger. Isn't that supposed to get you high? I think it's a rock and roll song. Here is my... Dream on!

May I present Exhibit A? Sure. We're talking about Exhibit now? Paparazzi. May I present Exhibit A? He is also my witness. Are you also going to present the boys at West

Coast Customs? The boys at West Coast Customs and I we heard that you had a murder case coming up. We're pissed off about that pic that's a real banger. We heard you like bangers. So when, are you familiar with ESPN, the sports network, that I have no idea what they're going to air for the next few months?

Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. So they, at the turn of the century, 1999, 2000, they put out a video of the greatest moments that were caught on film from the previous century. Sure. A lot of Sean Jordan in high school on that. The song they picked. It's all me graduating. The song

they picked for this video. Oh, you're right. Of the fucking best sports moments from that century. God, that video rules. It's Dream On by Aerosmith. So I guess they were a little quicker to the choice. No, I don't think they were like, this is an unconventional banger. I think they were like, this is the home run we put on this.

That was 20 years ago. I mean, I think maybe they were being visionaries and taking an unconventional banger because nobody had done it yet. If that song came out, like, you have a computer. Yeah, well, bangers are from every generation. Please do me a favor. Look up when that song came out because I I remember that I was graduating high school barely, but I made it.

Uh, speak on 73, 73. Nobody used it for a goddamn thing until 1970 or until 2000. And by the way, it was the number one hit. I don't know if nobody used it for a thing. It's fair.

Well, Rodney, I should amend my statement. Rodney Mullen used it in Secondhand Smoke, and I want to say 1994 for his video part. Okay, so... But before that... I almost want to ask this off, Mike.

Nine inches. What? I'll tell you on, Mike. I'll tell you on your chin if you want to keep... What is the define on a conventional banger? A song that doesn't get most people stoked. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a song that doesn't get most people stoked. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a song that doesn't get most people stoked. So what are you bringing up the years thing for? I feel like when they play that, people get stoked. Yeah. That's like probably their biggest song. You guys are all stoked because I just brought it up. No, I've seen the ESPN video. That'll get me stoked. No, but we're all such good friends that you're super excited. I haven't said you picked it. I'm I just brought it up and we're all such good friends ESPN video that'll get me stoked

no but we're all such good friends that you're super excited I haven't said you picked it I'm glad you brought it up we have it also it'd be like me being like you know what my unconventional banger is Back in Black by ACDC it wouldn't be like that at all but if you picked that I'd be like oh my god we're such good friends I would never call you out

and drag you through the mud I'd be like holy buckets that's so cool Zach I'm happy that you out and drag you through the mud. I'd be like, holy buckets. That's so cool, Zach. I'm happy that you picked that. I would never dream of bringing that. It's fun to hang out with you and it's super fun. Never would I dare to drag your pick through the mud. But, you know, I guess we're different like that.

I'm just saying. I think Dream On by Aerosmith is my second pick for the unconventional. It is. I think this is my second pick. Unconventional bangers. It's my second pick for the unconventional. I think this is my second pick. Unconventional bangers. It's my second pick. Well, we'll let the commentators rip you apart. I mean, listen. Yeah, take it.

You flew all the way down here to make this stupid pick. Stop. Stop that nonsense. You took this night podcast and you took a dump on it. I'm joking. If it's like that, I will not pick this. Erase it from the pick.

Erase it. It's on there. I guess I'll have to make up for it with the next three. You better take Back in Black, Hell's Bells, Part 3, ACDC's Greatest Hits is going to be my last pick.

Oh, Thunderstruck That's not an unconventional banger A lot of people don't like this song My Uncle Steve Yeah I mean they only started playing it In stadiums for like since 78 A lot of people A.K.A. My Uncle Steve

If he got Alzheimer's doesn't like All of ACDC's greatest hits So you know they can all be bangers to me. We didn't do that. But we're not, it's not according to what Uncle Steve. No, I know. It was a bit. It was a bad bit.

I get it, David. She's a bad bit. And I get it. She's got some red tits. Yeah. Don't forget it. Oh, man, we're going on tour. Yeah, dude.

But if there's one thing you should never forget it's the entire catalog by acdc angus old david your second pick it's another one nobody's ever heard before but it's been one of my go-to songs to make me feel better since i was i mean i don't know it probably came out when i had to be 12 13 it's by g-dep oh formally signed to bad boy records stands for the game it don't ease pain i'll remember that and the song is every day and it's just a super sad song about this guy's terrible life but he says all these things like i walked down the block with my stomach and nuts spent time hustling running from cops broke as a joke no wins at all can't play ball and my timbs

are small can't buy trees with government cheese I've ever been where it's breezed Niggas bubbling keys My mom's got two jobs, one in the knees I'm writing letters to the governor Please call off the D's This is a song cry, it's like you were like I need to see the bottom of it

Yeah, it's like so sad that it gets me like Okay, how am I gonna fix all this? Cause in the song he doesn't get out. The song is like, I don't know where it begins, but this is where it could end. That's how the song ends. Right. Nothing is resolved. But like, yeah, it's just so sad.

Like that. Yeah. The fucking. Oh, man. The fucking baby mother with another brother with cash. Drive by, roll down the window and laugh. Man. You're like, fuck, dude.

This dude's assed out and it makes me hyped i listened to that song actually quite that song is wild it's really sad and when you listen to it like because the way he raps it it's just it's like song cry where it's more like he's talking it yeah so when he listens it just like sticks in your head because it's just like this is just a dude telling me what's going on. You know what I mean? Ooh. But yeah, that song, it really gets me, man. Shout out to G-Depth.

Shout out to G-Depth indeed. Yeah. Every day. The lyrics are fantastic for us. I mean, they're sad, but like, oh my God. Yeah. It's really, really a good song. Mary J. Blige, I believe, was singing on the remix.

Oh, my God. Every day. Yeah. It's really a sad song. She's got that energy. Yo, sad. Yeah, it's really a sad song. She's got that energy. Yo, sad. Yeah, she's on my list, too. Yeah.

But yeah, Every Day by G-Dub. Oof, these lyrics. Yeah, it's really... What are you reading? It's digging deep. It's not even, like, complicated. I want to look tough, but my sneakers are scuffed.

Yeah. Like, oh, man. Ladies see me put their purse to the front. Like, oh, dude. He just wants to win. I had a little money. Yeah. He goes to a pastor at some point, and he calls.

He said the preacher called me everything except for a winner. Yeah, but they made me leave the church and said I was a sinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Called me everything except for a winner. Had a little money, but it came and it went. Now it's either pay the rent or stay in a tent yeah yeah but it does make i don't know man it's just one of those i think it's like you feel like you're like i've been because like so many things in that song have happened like yeah yeah i like to like some of it obviously is like a song or whatever but some of those things like man cigarette for breakfast everyday pants in a week and that's enough like so much shit is like i was at ralph's

early oh sorry what are you gonna say no i'm just saying but like now i listen it just gets me really hyped i was yeah exactly yeah i was at ralph's earlier doing some of this like panic quarantine shopping yeah and like in my head i was like i was like for some reason i was like i thought it was gonna be much more panicky in here and also like if i just have to eat fucking peanut butter i've done that before it's totally that where you're like i'm good i'm like there's a lot of bread here i'll just buy bread and freeze it yeah i'll eat bread that's been in the freezer i've done that job you know we were at the crib the other day uh all the so went to the went to the went to the safeway all the toilet paper was gone but i'm

like why in the world aren't people buying food just i mean it'd be funny if there was just one guy toilet paper one guy with a carton it's just all sun-kissed he's like listen i'm planning for everything all right i'm gonna work for him in the future? This is a new economy. Some guy on Twitter, I forget, like, I mean, I can't pay too much attention, but he was like, I don't even remember what I was talking about, but it was nothing where I was even being braggadocious like I sometimes get. He was just like, oh, I can't wait until your prosperity fails you

or something like that. Anyway, somebody just basically like wishing for my success yeah i'm still a human and for me to go broke yeah i'm still a human and be like i've been broke man get out of here you fucking beach troll yeah i fucking know exactly how to be broke dude what the fuck like i'm not i don't really have that many needs i have wants that i like but like all i need is like can i I play some NBA 2K? Sure. You know what I mean? Can I get stoned every now and then? Right.

Do I have food? I'm fucking fine. That's the thing. Like when you're broke, you're like. I need a lobster roll once a month though because. Being broke sometimes is nice because you're like, well, it focuses me. You know what I mean? And it like steals your resolve.

Right. Like when you're like mad broke back against the wall and you're like, no, this is how I play. You know what I mean? Right. Like when you're like mad broke back against the wall and you're like, no, this is how I play. You know what I mean? Right. So many times with comedy, it was that where it's like, I really could just like give up and go do this.

But like, no, this is how I do it. I'm in it. This is what I eat for a couple of days. Yeah. Get me on that plane to Phoenix or whatever. Doing that meal math where you're like,

well, I could buy that plane ticket and just never have breakfast for the rest of the month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of that. Like I got 20 bucks and I get a snack on the plane that'll that'll do me i've literally had

like don't eat until i get to the club somebody had to loan me money for the bart to get to the airport and i'm not getting paid till after my show that first night so like promoter picks you up or whoever oh you want to get some food? No, no. No, I'll just take a nap. And then afterwards, does this bar sell surf food? Yeah. You know what I mean? Can I get some of that food on the tab?

Yeah. And how much of it can I get? Is there a limit? Yeah. GDL. Cocktail sauce. That's free, right? That's basically tomato soup.

Yeah. Chunky food. I heat it up. I dip grilled cheese sandwiches in it. Oh, yeah. You. Chunky food. I heat it up. I dip grilled cheese sandwiches in it. Oh, yeah. You make the game style. It would be good. Little cocktail sauce. Speaking of Mikey Malloy's weird moves, some of those grilled

cheesy posts look good. He's really going for it. Time for my second and third picks as it is. Tell me if this is an okay pick. On the heels of Dream On, I think anything goes. But what about Give Gimme One Reason? When Tracy Chappell is... It gets me real stoked, but I think it maybe

is supposed to get you stoked. I don't think so. I think it's supposed to be like... It's definitely supposed... I'd say because he took Dream On, you can take that. I think in the same vein, though, it is supposed to be like... Don't say he. It's not depressing. It's upbeat.

It's not upbeat. It's also supposed to be on some like, yeah, man, fuck you, bro. Yeah, I guess it is kind of actually, yeah. Like, you're supposed to be like sassy on it. You are supposed to be kind of sassy on it. I don't know if I should take it. But here's what's unconventional. I would not assume that anyone's listening to that in a gym.

Nobody's like that. That's true. The reason I took it is because it is on my workout playlist. There you go. That's fine. That's your unconventional playlist. That's fair. That song is great.

Yeah. That's great. All right. Yeah, dude. No, no, no. Of course it's okay. I mean, was it on an ESPN video? It was never on an ESPN video.

Hey. The greatest moments of the 20th century. There was no Joe Lewis knocking someone out to... If we would have done this podcast in 1998, I would have picked that frickin' song. You'd sing tough. Uh-oh. Not my fault that ESPN also has good taste.

I think you are... Misreading the argument of... We don't think it's a banger because it was on the espn thing oh no no no i think both you and espn recognize that it's a banger yeah although you would argue that it's not and it is incumbent upon the court to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're guilty and we couldn't there is some doubt in the jury's mind so listen we'd love to test if that song is a banger but we do not have the test i'll be a fucking bummer for the rest of the podcast i will for the next hour and a half like yeah if i if i came in here and you were doing push-ups and that song was playing, I'd be like, huh. Unconventional banger.

Really? But if Dream On was playing, you'd be like, I get it, dude. He's yoked. Then I'd be like, Ian, stay. Please. I'll give you more than one reason. Now if my mom was in here doing push-ups with Tracy Chapman, I'd be like, okay, yeah. Same. I'd be like, alright, that's about your speed.

Sue Carmel, big Tracy Chapman fan yeah she's got great taste impeccable taste alright time for my third pick Silver Bells not Silver Bells Carol the Bells from Christmas

Carol the Bells I was about to feel like I'm going to go to bed I'm scared it's Christmas time hold on I was about to feel like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm scared. It's Christmas time. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

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dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame Judy dance, Dame street thing that shit kills me have you ever heard that naz song where they do that no 144 245 yeah it's reasons why this kid should die man we shoot every motherfucker outside yeah that's in there with the tupac uh sampling the fucking israeli national anthem of like oh okay yeah song sure shoot him up i'm so much happier that it was that song and not Silver Bells. Silver Bells would have really scared me. My pick is I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Gets Me Fucking Jack. That song is intense,

but it's definitely an unconventional banger. Absolutely. It's a Christmas song, but every time I hear it, I'm just like... Do you go year-round or do you go Christmas time? I'll throw that on in fucking July. I don't give a fuck, dude. I don't know the lyrics. You'll throw it on the July mix?

The July mix, dude. I'll put it on my July pad. For everybody who couldn't hear it because the mic was in his neck. I'll put that on my July pad. As he had the mic in his neck. On July pad. That's like something Shane would buy.

Oh my god. I didn't get a... It's a Julypad. Boost Mobile told me I could load Wi-Fi on my Julypad if I just paid for it with pudding. They say it's the BMW of iPads. It's from Costa Rica's most cutting-edge technology company.

I got this from Jaco in Costa Rica. It's a Jell's most cutting edge technology company. I got this from Coco in Costa Rica. It's a jello July. David, tell me your third pick. Third, another weird one. That is get out of town. I don't even know really what the point of this song is,

but it gets me hyped. Waylon Jennings. Willie Nelson. Johnny Cash. I'm taking the Highwayman. Highwayman? Oh, nice. Dude, that song. Along the coach roads I did ride. Sword and pistol

by my side. Tell me where that song gets you hyped because you feel like a fucking Hessian when you hear that song. That song makes me feel tough. You feel like you don't need any money. You feel like all you need is like a fifth of whiskey and a horse. Yeah. And you'll just come by the rest of life. Especially Johnny Cashman.

He's like, I think it's Johnny Cashman. I was a sailor. I was born upon the tide. Yeah, dude. And with the sea I did abide. He sounds like he's already dead. And you're just like, man, you're still thriving? Yeah.

Or who's that one too? I was a dam builder across a river deep and wide where steel and water did collide. Let's get a hold of him. It's Chris Christopherson Willie Nelson Johnny Cash That's who it is right Because all their verses are In my opinion interchangeable

You're all fucking weathered Hessians The weird one is I don't like the spaceship one at the end Christopherson Johnny Cash is the Spaceship Across the universe and when i reach the other side yeah that part yeah hopefully he's just talking about being on like prescription

drugs so but the other parts man the willie nelson man many a damsel shed her lifeblood on my blade. The masters hung me in the spring of 25, but I am still alive. That's so weird that he's the guy who picked that like lyric. It's like, you're Willie Nelson, bro. Yeah. But yeah, the dam builder and the sailor.

Fucking tight. And then the star captain. And when the yards broke off, they said that I got killed. But I am living still. I'm living still. Damn, that's a good song. Yeah, that song gets me juiced, boy. Oh, sailor,

I was born upon the tide. Yeah, get it. And with a sea I did abide. I sailed a schooner around the horn of Mexico. I went aloft and furled the mainsail in a blow. And when the yards broke off, they... How does it go? And when the yards broke off, they said that I got you.

You can't break character like that. I won't be able to sleep tonight. But I am living still. Because you did that. I'm going to read you a lullaby in that voice. Listen, we got to play that as soon as this podcast is over. That's what I'm thinking, too. They got a video for it that's real weird.

The sound. A flash of starship across the universe. I'll tell you what the video is. It's a bunch of old dudes arguing over Baccarat rules or something. Oh, I know the rules to Baccarat. I'll tell you someday. Baccarat, that asshole. Yeah, that's not even my favorite Willie Nelson weird banger, but like

them together. Yeah. Fuck with that song. They got Ghost Riders in the Sky too, but I think that's a conventional banger. Yeah. Ghost Riders. I don't think anybody's ever said Highwaymen and banger together. Right. Maybe a British person ordering like a sausage. Yeah.

Oh. Two bangers love. Yeah. It. Do you hear that? Like it's highway, Minchong. Two bangers, love. Yeah. It's got to be proper chuffed. I'm proper chuffed. I am. That'd be great if you could just order sausages and just like that from passing by servers.

Two bangers in a pint. Two bangers in a pint of your warmest beer. I love. Hey, Ben. Hey, Ben. Give me a cup of beer and a cup of bangers all right a couple bangers fuck that look get me a couple birds and a couple bangers couple birds a couple bangers let me get a bucket of bangers man i'll tell you it's nice that the british have good

rap now i'll just say that stormzy because when the streets was around it was like, we all gotta pretend. Everything sounds the same. It's like, it wasn't bad, but it was not good. I think you all really fit even though you don't know it. You probably never heard Lady Sovereign though. It was always like, in the moonlight

latching, catching and other fellows staying. And you're like, what the fuck is going on? Right. It would just be like, what the fuck is going on? Right. It would just be like, I went down to me chip shop, and there was a gov there. He said, hi, bro. What time is it?

He just said, I don't know, because I left me watching me flat. And now the chippy can't see me blinders. You're like, you're not rhyming. I don't get it. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I'm glad. Who's buying this? Sean, time for your third pick. Nights in white satin.

Never reaching the end. You got an arched eyebrow from my Dutch friend. Letters I've written. Never meaning to send. Beauty I'd always missed With these eyes before Just what the truth is

I can't say it anymore Cause I love you. Yes, I love you. You don't think so, Zach? It's a banger, dude. It's not a fucking banger. It's an emotional ass song. It's an emotional banger.

Speak on it, Zach. Get off your phone. What are we doing? Well, no, I'm looking up the information. Zach thinks it's a banger. Moody Blues. I think it is. Maybe I'm also just unconventional a depressing song the moody blues the booty moves so to me it's like the moody you're taking it so much into me it's like you could are you would be like well why not take metallica one because you're like well it's about

a guy who gets killed and or blown up in the army but it's like that knights in white satin isn't a metal it's not like a metallica song it doesn't go that hard but it gets i'll give it to you i think it's more of a unconventional banger than dream on for sure all right yeah yeah'm with you. You sold it. I feel like you sucked the wind out of all the sails. No, I love that song. I love all these songs. That's not what it's about. Chris Christopherson could set the sails up for you. He was a highwayman. He was a riverman.

There was a whole... He sailed a scooter around the horn of Mexico. In Casino? Right? Yes. Yeah, it's not... No, I wasn't trying to detract from your argument. I was just asking. It definitely is a casino.

Yeah. Here's a fun fact. The work was reinterpreted as the focus of Nights in White Satin, colon, The Trip, a dark ride at the Hard Rock Park theme park in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. What? The attraction, which included ride at the Hard Rock Park theme park in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. What? The attraction, which included a 3D blacklight and fiber optic

lighting effects and purpose-made film, was developed by Sally Corporation and John Benkowski of Hard Rock Park. Riders entered through a bead curtain and were provided with 3D glasses. Ian, why did you play audio of somebody else reading that when you could have read it yourself? The attraction operated as The Trip for the single 2008 season the park operated as hard rock park but was rethemed

as marshals of rock with the sale and retitling of the park as freestyle music park do me a favor okay uh google ketchup and the first thing that comes up please read it like you just did tomato ketchup is a sweet and tangy sauce made from tomato sugar and vinegar. The seasonings and spices. The spices and flavors vary, but commonly include onions, allspice, coriander, cloves, cumin, garlic, and mustard, and sometimes includes

celery, cinnamon, or ginger. Alright, I want to ride that roller coaster too. Did you just say they have mustard and ketchup? That's what it's at, dude. That goes all the way to the top. Oh my god. That goes all the way to the top. That's my God. That goes all the way to the top. That's if you open up a dog and there's a little cat in there pulling all the fucking

Oh, yeah. Big mustard's been running this whole thing the whole time. Damn, dude. Whoa. That was sick. We think they're the underdog, but they're the top dog. They're the top dog. TDE.

That was really fun. Yeah. Nice and white satin. All right. He got it. Third pick. He got it? You got it. He got it? He got got it he said he needed about 10 you good

Zach time for your third and fourth picks as it is okay a banger draft this one definitely not a banger very unconventional Ian will guess I'm doing fine back whoa yeah

guess I'm doing fine. Beck. Whoa. Yeah. Guess I'm doing fine. Beck, dude. You know what? You dive in deep into that, and then you're just like, I'm going to come out the other side. I see. You know what I mean? You enter in the dark cave, just like Luke did, and then you come out.

You got to swim from your pool that's inside your house, through that little tunnel, and then pop out of your pool. Exactly. Exactly. All right. What? Are you reading the lyrics to that song? No, I'm just looking at... Are you trying to sub to that song no I'm just

I'm looking at are you trying to subjugate me I'm going to pick depressing songs my last two picks are going to be very depressing you don't have to be depressing I don't care if someone's a Scientologist I don't care it's low down on the list these days

I don't care in a way that I don't care about anything I can't care that's one of the things I'm sorry if I'm just being completely honest. I also think he might be former now. I think he might be former. But even so. David, I believe we were in Portland and I told you that

Beck was married to Giovanni Ribisi's sister. What did you call her? I don't remember. Giovanni is his sister? Giovanni Rib remember. Giovanni's sister? Giovanni Ribisi. You said it. It was either you or Smith. Tell me Smith didn't say that.

Giovanni Ribisi. Shout out to Smith, by the way. Giovanni Ribisi. Giovanni Riccici. It's a little different. Somebody in the car said Nouveau Rishiani Nishkishi Nouveau

Giovanni Rabisi Nishkishi Nishkishi Nash dude Nishkishi Nash Nishkishi Nash Get a piece of my ass What's happening Nishkishi Nishkishi Nash Nishkishi Get a piece of my ass? What's happening? Miss Kishi.

Miss Kishi Nash? Miss. Miss. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi.

Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. Michi. fourth pick. Fourth pick, Crossroads Bone Thugs. How do we feel?

How do we feel? That's an amazing... I don't wanna die! Who doesn't have an Uncle Charles that they miss? You know what I mean? And I'm going to miss Sibyl Lottie. No, no. And I'm going to miss Sibyl Lottie. Who? What?

That's what, when they go, I'm going to miss everybody. That's like in that song. Oh, okay. I'm going to miss Sibyl Lottie. It was a real, do you say? That's what, when they go, I'm going to miss everybody. That's like in that song. It was a real do you not know? I thought that was a caution. Do you both think that I'm an absolute dipshit? Well, you do it in the same tone.

Both of you. You didn't look at me the way that you two assholes did. Do you both think that I didn't grow up knowing the actual lyrics to that song? You said caution the wind, though. I only know four of the lyrics to that song to be honest.

Miss my uncle Charles. I don't want to die and then see you at the crossroads and be lonely. The rest of it, I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Living in a hateful world. That's how we do it. Just to go back to the fact

I can read. I know my friends like all this stuff. I picked you out a book. I know you can read. I picked you out a book. Two chapters in, Playboy. See that on the front? It says Juggalo.

Yeah, that's what it says. Respect it. Brightly colored letters. Laura, you got to respect the family. Why is it brightly colored leathers? They're doing well. Brightly colored. Yeah, like a man big body bass. Yeah. I thought for a second,? They're doing well. Brightly colored, yeah. Like our man, Big Body Bass.

Yeah. I thought for a second, maybe you did think that was the lyric, but that's not because you, I think you're stupid, but because people often misunderstand lyrics. That's true. Also, Bone, for sure.

Yeah. What the, I don't, I know seven Bone lyrics. Bone used to, Bone and Snow, they used to have the lyrics go on the bottom of the screen because they were the first,

like, fast rappers. They were on TV, so they had them go on the bottom of the screen because they were the first fast rappers. They were on TV so they had them go on the bottom of the screen. Ghetto Cowboy. There's a lyric that says, weather is tell of his heaven. Come, let's go take a visit of people that's long gone. In Crossroads? Yes. I gotta put eyes on them.

Still we lace. I gotta put eyes on them. Still we lace. Now follow me, roll stroll. Weather is tell of his heaven. It's funny because I can peg the sounds to the It's steady creeping up on the family.

Exactly how many days we got lasting. While you're laughing, we're passing away. We're passing away. Whoa. Okay. Try, try. All Thug could do is cry cry Why they kill my dog I never heard that part I think I did know that

And then I miss my uncle Oh now Eazy's long gone We wish he would come home He's long gone There are a lot of lyrics by the way yeah of course the song's about Eazy the song has bang for your buck

yeah yeah yeah it's a high value song what you want a 7000 word song we got it I forgot about how much they talk about praying in this song a lot of praying they don't want to die dude hmm well I forgot about how much you talk about praying in this song. A lot of praying. They don't want to die, dude.

Hmm. Well, Sean, time for your fourth book. If I could save time in a bottle. Really? The first thing that I'd like to do is to save every day till eternity passes away Just to spend them with you Jim Croce, Time in a Bottle.

These are all coming from skate videos for me, but that song gets me amped because I can equate it to a skate video. It's Rodney Mullen's second song in virtual reality, I think, where he's doing all the Casper slides If you guys know Where you do like half a kickflip Back foot lands on the

Board side of the tail Front foot's under the grip tape And you do like a slide Like a Casper slide if you will Anyway I love that song Gets me hyped I think it's a great song And yeah.

It's unconventional. Am I getting looks? No. It's not a banger. No. It's certainly not a banger. Nobody could call that a banger. You hit it. Fucking swear, dude. I love it. There's no complaints. I don't have a lot of thoughts on the songs.

I can't really chime in as much as I like to. Jim Croce is a cool name. You know Jim Croce. I know Jim Croce. Sad, sad Leroy Frown. Grandma's, no. Junkyard Dickhead. That other Shane Torres.

You're listening to me, you Junkyard Dickhead? That's a fucking brutal thing to say. That's like a regional thing guess where you're I know you're from east Texas you junkyard dickhead don't you fucking condescend to me you junkyard dickhead listen you southwest

Missouri junkyard dickhead you are not a Michelin star restaurant dickhead or a three star hotel dickhead you are a junkyard dickhead or a junkyard dickhead. You might know him as Sad Sadly Warfaron or a junkyard dickhead. Or the junkyard dickhead. Man, I watched out of the WWE

because I picked a weird character. I spit in the wind again. Tugged on Superman's cape. Yeah, time of the bottle. I canceled my weekend in Poughkeepsie because I tugged on Superman's cape. Oh, my goobies. I'll make it up to you. You're only going to see the burnt ends of my sets anyway.

Oh, my God. David, time for your fourth pick. What's your life like by beanie seagull none of you guys have heard it it's a song it's straight up about jail the chorus he just says what's your life like and then he says mine is real tell me what's your life like mine's real everything's signed to seal tell me what's And I just used to listen to it as like a kid, just like really hyped up. How old? Oh, man, probably 12, 13. Life behind the wall. Damn, with this man.

You done killed his brother. And you think he don't know a thing. What you know about jailhouse hunger strike? Thinking, damn, I'm never coming home at night. It's like really intense. Damn, dude. Yeah, it like makes me on edge. But also, I'll listen to it like when I'm working out or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think Beanie Siegel can have a calm conversation? No. Do you listen to it like when i'm working out yeah yeah do you do you think beanie seagull can have a calm conversation no do you think is it like starbucks like run me my 15 long turn i don't think that it was ever a calm conversation i don't think that was ever beanie seagull there's another jewish name what do you want brothers don't realize that i want this latte cold there's no motherfucking way that i will not just drink your soul oh damn was that a freestyle too kind of it's off of beanie seagull song i don't realize what it takes to make this dough there's no motherfucking way that i can show you how we

roll it's in stevie williams part in the DC video. That I don't realize. No, I know. I always like Beanie Siegel so much because he kind of scares me. Ever since Streets is watching when he the beat ended and he just kept going. That's a documentary. That's going to be one of my top ten rappers.

That was a documentary. The Streets are watching. What? The Streets are watching. The Upper West Side Jewelers Review. Oh, yeah. but i'm talking about that song yeah you know when it's like the beat ends and he's like you just want to define the team and you're like what whoa but yeah what's your life like it's not like you can look it up i don't think you'll like it but for me for some reason it gets me a lot of weird muslim talk that i don't really understand you gotta shit in your palm just to get to haram i don't really know what that means i have no idea no you might not know for i don't be an honest he may have a misinterpretation i don't know but i love that

you see like the uh the upper west side jewish review is pleased to advance the nuptials of dr julius irving and Mrs. Beanie Siegel. Yep. Yeah, I see that. Mrs. Beanie Siegel comes from a furrier family. Dr. Julius Irving put himself through

medical school before interning at Bethesda Hospital in Maryland. Bethesda. Ian Carmel, time for my fourth and then final picks. As tis, as tis. As tis. As tis.

As tis. So, shit. What about These Boots Are Made For Walking by Nancy Sinatra? Sure. Is that a binger or is that an unconventional binger? Again, I would say unconventional. Because if I walked in and you were working out,

listen to that song. Yeah, true. These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you. I was like, are you ready, boots?

Start walking. Start walking. That's fucking awesome. You're also wearing are you ready, boots? Start walking. Start walking. That's fucking awesome. You're also wearing combat boots when you're listening to it. So it's like everyone knows. I'm always wearing combat boots. Any shoe I put on is a combat boot, bro. Any shoe.

White Doc Martens. Yeah. Man, what if I started wearing white Doc Martens and shit? White Doc Martens with like green stitching? Yeah. That would be a crazy scene. Plus they're huge because they've got 13s. It's a lot of white patent leather.

Still steel-toed, by the way. Guys, we have to talk. Ian went rockabilly. Hello, babies. Is there a song about that? Like the country one? We're all scared to tell him because he's got steel-toed white Docs. We have to call him

Reverend Gigglesworth. Gigglesburg. all scared to tell him because he's got steel-toed white ducks. We have to call him Reverend Gigglesworth. Gigglesberg. That's what it was. Gigglesberg. Gigglesworth or the Goyim. He's with the Metro Walker. Now everybody knows, but, you know. It's just good. There's also, I feel like there's a lot of songs like it.

It's a pretty like one-on-one feels like. Yes. Um, one of those songs where everybody else heard it and they're like, God damn it. She did it. I was, I was thinking about it.

I've been thinking about that. Frank's daughter. She did it. Honey, get in here. She did it. So that's what that one. And there's not a lot to say.

It sounds like, but, uh, we'll move on to my final pick always be my baby by mariah carey we were as one day For a moment in time And it seemed everlasting That you would always be mine

And you'll never be me So move back again Cause I know in your heart babe Our love will never end No You'll always be a part of me I'll follow you eternally Boy, don't you know you can't escape me

Definitely not one of those songs that you should actually say to a woman. No, no, no. These lyrics are not to be repeated. Listen, you don't have to. You think you're all. I can't escape a feeling so strong. What is it? What's the lyric say it again? I can't escape a feeling so strong. What is it? What's the lyrics say it again?

I can't escape a feeling so strong. Okay. Was it like my mind can't escape a feeling so strong? I can't escape a feeling so strong. Now, that's a tricky bit because it's for sure a banger. It's like a banger, but it's not like a tough. It's like, I don't think it's something that gets most people hyped up. It does get me ready to party.

It's not even a song that makes me feel about love. No. It's not a King Tuff banger. It's not a King Tuff banger. It's not a King Tuff banger. Oh, I thought you said it's not a Kinked Up banger. I was like, whoa. Pretty Kinked Up. Freak like me, that's a Kinked Up banger.

That is a Kinked Up banger. You know, it's all shit. Part of me is worried that, like, maybe I think it's an unconventional banger because it's, like, by a woman. Maybe for a woman. Am I being problematic right now? No, I've never been problematic.

I doubt it yeah feels like maybe it is i don't know you couldn't convince 12 year old me that it wasn't also for dudes for dudes for sure there i was everybody with a crip rag on listening to that song looking at a skateboard like what do i really want to do my kb what's really good good. My cakey. You'll always key. My cakey. My cakey. Always be my cakey. Cakey is Hawaiian for a child.

Is it really? They used to call me too because I got into the upside down pineapple. You can say it. That was a Hawaiian gang. No, upside down pineapple cake. Pine Thicky Cakeys. No, Upside Down Pineapple Cake. Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Excuse me.

We scrambled the ingredients a little bit. Throw me a fastball, throw me a curveball. I'll still knock it out of the box. It's the Upside Down Pineapple Cake. It's the Upside Down Pineapple Cake. It's delicious. Upside Down. My fifth pick is Tenderoni bobby brown whoa nice just takes me there give it to me my heart belongs to maroney she's my roni love she's my

roni love and then he goes the truth've never heard that song? I have heard that song. I just wanted you to give it to me. Yeah, I love that song. I used to play that tape out in my mom's car. I don't think I've heard that song. It's called Tenderoni? Tenderoni.

Is that like a food stuff, too? No, that's his girl. Okay, Tenderoni. My heart belongs to my Roni. The truth about a Roni, she's a sweet old girl. About the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world. She make the toughest homeboy fall deep in love. And once you have a Roni,

you would never give her up. Tenderoni. Yeah, tenderoni, man. Pineapple. Tenderoni. Do you like mushrooms? That's a tenderoni Just pineapple tenderoni So we have the upside down pineapple cake

And we also have the right side up tenderoni cake Send both of them to my room Send them to my room One chilled one hot Leave them outside the door don't worry about it Sean time for your final pick i've been a bad bad girl oh i've been careless with a delicate man criminal i feel like i sound like no you gotta give us the sultry eyes. I'll come to you cause I need guidance to be true And I just don't know where I can begin

Oh, what I need is a good defense And I'm feeling like a criminal And I need to be redeemed For the one I've sinned against Cause he's all I've ever known Phone didn't break, by the way. I got a case. I got a case. You got a case on T on that, dude?

I got a case. I got a case. Just saying. Criminal, Fiona Apple. That song gets me hyped. That video will get me a boner. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, the video got me hyped yeah man got me

jacked up that's what jacked up should have been when we were kids this is about to get you jacked up that tackle gave me a boner that's what that's what the compromise should have been for those it's like we can show the biggest hits from the NFL but you have to say it gave you a boner

okay this kind of been for those. It's like we can show the biggest hits from the NFL, but you have to say it gave you a boner. Okay. I got there for a minute. This kind of smash mouth football gets me rocked up. I got a boner from that. Criminal. Really good song. Great song. If you want to Apple fucking rips, dude. And she's still releasing fucking dope ass music.

She really is. To this freaking day. David Blaine for a while. Man, listen, a lot of people. You can't hold that against her. No, I'm not. I'm not. She was real close. She was friends with like. She thought she was David and not a DiCaprio. What a crazy. This is the greatest trick yet.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I was dating the Statue of Liberty. Then he made it all disappear. God darn it, David.id zach for your final pick oh man a lot on the board here yes a lot a lot on the board but i am gonna go jimmy ruffin what becomes of the brokenhearted Martin who has loved and now departed you know what I think about I think about fried green

tomatoes when I hear that song that was like the main song from fried green tomatoes one of the temptations fried green tomatoes I'll fuck with some fried green tomatoes too I love that movie but also that food.

The girl's name, Iji. Yes. Or he gets killed by the train. He gets killed by the train, yeah. Yeah.

Her brother. He's trying to pull him out. Kathy Bates, just some like, two like hot young girls take her parking spot and then she just smashes up their car.

Yeah, true story. And they're like, you're old. She's like, I got better insurance, bitches. It's awesome, dude. It's kind of a,

you know what you would have been if you saw that? If you were like in that same parking lot and you saw her do that? Ooh, bitches. It's awesome, dude. It's kind of a bit, you know what you would have been if you saw that? If you were like in that same parking lot and you saw her do that. Ooh, bitch. Yeah. That caught some heat last week, by the way. That was fun. Oh, yeah. Ooh, bitch. A shout out to

Ed for making the video. The sliding thing of me in there. Big mistake. Ooh, bitch. for making the video with the sliding thing of me in there. Big mistake. Oh, man. It works, though. Fried green tomatoes is worth a rewatch.

Oh, baby. I haven't seen that for quite some time. I might have to put that out during the quarantine. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. But yeah, what becomes of the broken heart also one of them it's crazy because it's like when you the lyrics aren't hard to decipher he's very clearly singing them it's a very sad song this man is truly fucking broken down you thought he shit

say it again come on out with it with it. Out with it, bud. He thought he shit, but he only farted. So it's like, it is sad. I thought I shit, but I only farted. What becomes of a broken heart? I don't like where this went. I thought I shit, but I only farted. I've got to think of my, some kind of,

my tummy hurts. Thought that would fix it. But I shit, but I farted, you know? Yeah. That's what he thought. That's what the song is.

You're right. That is the final pick to recap. Ian Carmel went first. What a handsome guy. He started with Where's My Mind by the Pixies. And then Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman. And then Carol of the Bells by God, I believe. And then These Boots Are Made for Walking

by Nancy Sinatra. And then Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey. David Borey went second. Took Two Wrongs by Wyclef and that girl from City High. And then Every Day by G-Dep. Highwaymen by The Highwaymen. What's Your Life Like by Beanie Siegel. And then Tenderoni by Bobby Brown.

Sean went third. Took Nothing Compared to You by Sinead O'Connor. Dream On by Aerosmith. Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues. If I Could Save Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce. And then Criminal by Fiona Apple. Zach, you went finally and you took Song Cry by Jay-Z

from the Unplugged album. Thank You by Alanis Morissette. Guess I'm Doing Fine by Beck. Crossroads by Bone Thugs and Harmony. Harmony snuck on there. And then What Becomes of the Brokenhearted. Thought I Shit But I Only Fire by G. Shroff. No, I know. In parentheses. what becomes of the broken hearted thought i shit but i only fire a lot of freaking songs on the board so much left so much don't take the girl brooks and

done neon moon wow those both get me stoked step by step theme song oh yeah rock bottom by m&m oh that's rock bottle cherry bomb by John Cougar Mellencamp. Nice. I had White Winter Hymnal by the Fleet Foxes. Oh, sure. Angelina Zuma Zuma by Louis Prima. Over and Done With by the Proclaimers. Dude, that's on my list.

Is it really? Yes. My boy right there. A couple of weirdos on the couch. Yeah, we're weird. I thought about taking Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan. Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.

I had Our House by Crosby Stills National. I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston. Nice. Young at Heart, Frank Sinatra. Oh, that's a good one. Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis. Oh, that's kind of a banger. Jolene.

Jolene's kind of a banger, too, though. Jolene is? Oh, baby, it is. Jolene's a banger. Jolene, Jolanger. Jolene. These are all number one hits. Jolene is like fucking good. You think Nights in White Satin wasn't a number one hit in South Dakota?

You know that the number one is not just South Dakota. It's state by state, David. I don't hear nothing else. Would Changes by Tupac have counted? That's a weird movie. If it was by Bill Hornsby, it would have counted. Okay, sure.

Is it Bill Hornsby? Bruce Hornsby. In My Life, The Beatles. Oh, yeah. What about like Yesterday? Does that get you going? Yeah. Really?

Oh. That song is so sad. Imagine? Yeah. Man. Really? Well then I guess it can be going to That song is so sad imagine Man really If you're in a good So my thing with these songs if you're in a good place These will all get me going Cause it's

You may say I'm a dreamer Imagine it's not a sad song It's just not really a banger It's sad-ish No I don't know Nightmares by Open Mike Eagle That would be on there It's sad-ish. No. I don't know. Nightmares by Open Mike Eagle.

That would be on there. You can't wear clothes like Kanye and then go home with some frozen entrees. I just bought so many frozen entrees. They're in the freezer. Here you are wearing clothes like Kanye. It's quarantine. It's different times. Even Mike Eagle would agree. I'm going to make a quarantini.

I'll credit Scrubs for that joke. Linguini quarantini? I will make a drink after we record. That's what they used to call Ghostface. Linguini quarantini. A.K.A. We want to hear your unconventional bangers. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod

on Twitter. Email us at allfantasypodcastcast at gmail.com. Shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick for sitting through this entire thing. We love you. Yeah, she's amazing. We adore you. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.

Shout out to fucking, I mean, what else do we need? Oh, shout out to the AFE subreddit for holding us down. Shout out to the AFE Patreon. Shout out to the Patreon. It's the highest it's ever been and also if it hits if it hits either a thousand members Sean's gonna dump it out

on the internet but if it hits either a thousand members or ten thousand dollars I'll do something I don't know I'm gonna post I think I'm gonna post a thing on the Patreon not a thing a poll what would you like me to do and then people

you better post your poll I'll post my poll on the Patreon it's gonna take up the whole internet if I do that you know what I mean big old dick I'm just saying I think it'd be fun to do like shape your head or do something. I don't know.

We'll do some cool shit. We'll come up with some, we'll care. That's after this. We'll shave something. We'll shave something. I don't know. Yeah.

Anyway, thank you. Yes. For real crazy right now. How many people are on the Patreon? It's bananas. It's pretty fucking, and how many people are so fucking stoked on it?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's it. That's all. That's are so fucking stoked on it? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's it. That's all.

That's all the thank yous I had. Thank you. Beautiful. Always beautiful. Always appreciate it. I want to send a shout out to Daniel Pettit. Oh, yeah. On Twitter.

Unless it's Petit, which is a pretty dope last name, but I think it's Pettit. He sent us a nice message, which I'll share with you guys later. Shout out to you, bro. We appreciate you. Shout out to everyone. Actually, shout out to Nate from Portland. Shout out to John Alec Walter from Abbey.

Shout out to Jordan Walter. And shout out to Logan. Happy birthday from Danny. Not from us, though, dude. You gotta earn it from us. You gotta turn turn it you gotta burn it and that's how you earn it you gotta you gotta grip it you gotta rip it dude you gotta sip it first then you rip it yeah you gotta sip it then you gotta rip it then you gotta clean it up then you gotta snip it but only for jewish uh yeah it's like we're getting dumb uh anyone if you're fucking struggling with some of this health shit that's going on right now,

we're here for you. We see you. We'll be back again next week with more of this shit. But before that, shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Puffins. Shout out to that Ruffin guy.

Steve Ruffin. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Ruffin. Jimmy Ruffin. Shout out to fucking Portland Oregon shout out to Seattle shout out to the fucking Bay Area shout out to fucking shout out to the Michigan Wolverines dude

shout out to the Michigan State Spartans I don't know about that one I said it I said it it's a wild thing to say shout out to Fresh Flowers shout out to Austin Powers, dude. And more important than all that, tune in again next week

to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shagragity! that was a hate gun podcast