All Fantasy Everything - Vegetables (w/ Miel Bredouw, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)

Episode Date: November 8, 2018

Ah, the earth's bounty. Mana from heaven. Dirt candy. Sean Poison. Whatever you call them, we're drafting vegetables today. Extremely handsome host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Miel Bredouw, Sean Jordan and David Gborie to draft vegetables!Be sure to check out Miel's podcast Punch Up The Jam on the HeadGum network. You can listen to the episode Ian and Sean guested on here: headgum.com/punch-up-the-jam/016-escape-the-pina-colada-song-with-ian-karmel-and-sean-jordan.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-longs episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Oh, 1999! Oh, shit! Ava Rex jackets! Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were doing something different. No, keep going. Ava Rex jackets.

Shiny shoe wrappers. Durex. Durex. Found orange pants on teams. It was a weird color time. Still playing the Nagano 1998 Winter Olympic game on Nintendo 64. Woo! Her gold figure's about to come out.

Blah, blah. Naughty by Nature came back twice and failed for the third time. Feel Me Flow was kind of a good song, though. It's a good summertime, like, feeling good song. Yeah, there's snowboarding in the video. Do-do-do. Feel Me Flow, now, Holla if you hear me, yo, better feel me flow now.

Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that came at you like a Public Enemy song right off the bat. Yep. Then circled back around. You know, we took you back home.

It was like Fab Five. Freddie was in here for a second. Yeah. He wasn't in Public Enemy. No, I know, but he was like, yo, MTV Raps. a second. Yeah. He wasn't in Public Enemy. No, I know, but he was like young TV raps. I'm an MTV James with Bill Bellamy guy. That's just because I'm younger.

Whoa, a Bellamy guy. He hosted James for a while. He did, yeah. You know what I like? What? The grind with Eric Noyes. Did you do that fitness show on MTV? You did like the grind with Eric Noyes.

Man, I want my jeans to look like they look like the Grind with Agnes. Oh, shit. It's like, man, I want my jeans to look like they look like they're on Eric Noyes from The Grind. Wait, did you wake up and like do that? He got up

and he fucking put on his spandex, dude. That'd be crazy if that's how you got in Skateboard. Remember that infomercial for the gazelle? Oh, with that guy,

Tony something. Tony Little. Tony Little, bro. Long, blonde, curly ponytail. You know what? Wasn't Little one of those quads? No, the quads were huge. Holy shit. What else? Darren's dance grooves. Darren Little, bro. Long, blonde, curly ponytail. You know what? It wasn't Little. What are those?

Quads. No, the quads were huge. Holy shit. What else? Darren's dance grooves. Darren's dance grooves, too. Oh, yeah. I remember.

That was from Napoleon Dynamite, right? It was real, though. It was real. He did like Bye Bye Bye. Showed you how to do all the pop moves. Yeah. That was more my speed. That was my speed, too.

Y'all's a little younger, you know? too. Y'all's a little younger. You know? Yeah. Y'all's a little younger. You know? Sorry, I'm immature and young. Yeah. Whatever, dude.

She's a fucking millennial, bro. You're not, dog. I'm on the business end of my 30s. I am. She is. She is. Millennials, what do you have to be? You're not.

I'm the oldest. 84? No, it's 84. If you dig're not. I'm the oldest. 84? No, it's 84. If you dig. I think I'm the oldest millennial. If you dig deep into websites, deep, dark web, you can get AK-47. If you're on the Silk Road. You can get an AK-47 and then I'll point it at you and you tell me I'm not a millennial.

You have to go deep into the dark web. I think you are still a millennial. I don't know what any of it means. If he knows what the dark web is, I think it counts. I don't think he does. I used to think the dark web was just a black Google page. I used to think that honestly. You mean like for Kevin Hart and Soul Train and stuff?

I had this idea. I was like, the black web, it's like. He thought it was the BET of the internet. He's like, I'm going to go look up Bruce Clips. Where's Black Google? I can't find any Romani Malco clips on YouTube. Oh, man. I guess I got to go to Black Google for it.

He sent me text. Hey, what do you know about the dark web? I'm trying to stream Martin. David, send me the invite or whatever that I need. It's good when you're laughing like Ray Liotta at Goodfellas. You really are a racist guy! You motherfucker!

He's a piece of shit! Speaking of, you know, that might be one of the first movies we do a watch-along for on the new All Fantasy Everything Patreon. There it is. Yeah. You can sign up now. A bunch of people signed up last week, which was awesome. Thank you.

Thank you guys so much. This is... The slack is popping. It is. It's popping. Miel, you asked what a slack is. What is a slack? A slack is a chat room.

A chat room. That you can be invited to. That you can break down little channels so we can talk about music, video games, movies, sports, whatever. And then we have a general one. So just so the all family everything can just hop in there and chat throughout our work days. Like Gchat? Yeah, it's like Gchat but bigger. I have like three. You can win on Halloween costumes.

I have this fun thing that they're all going to get to know each other a little bit through the internet. And then if we go to a city, they can like already kind of know each other. What if they get married? What if they get married? I'm going to marry you. You guys have to officiate the wedding,

all three of you. Sure. Wearing one single suit. Oh no, speaking of weddings, people were talking about Demi. What? Oh, somebody wanted to hide, they're getting married on the...

On the Tonight Show. It just sounded like that was going to come out. On Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. Here's commitment. On September 21st. Oh. They want him to officiate? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, I could walk over to his desk. And they were like, no, no. We got another request to officiate a wedding on our email. You should do it. You should do it. I wonder if that's the same people. Maybe. If they fly you out, why not?

Yeah, although, I don't know. That's a lot of pressure. I feel like there'd be a lot of blood on my hands. Here's what I think. Literally? Literally. I don't know. If you get too drunk, things go south.

You don't know anybody. At a wedding? Yeah, all of a sudden. I've never been to a wedding. Okay, I don't know what happens. Are you serious? That's what sudden. I've never been to a wedding. Okay, I don't know what happens. Are you serious? That's what happens. Are you drinking a bottle of Chablis?

Wait, how old are you? 29. You've never been to a wedding? I've been to my sister's wedding. That's it. But you haven't been to other weddings. I've never been invited to a wedding. No.

I've been the maid of honor in one wedding. I've never been invited to one. Well, I mean, you put up in the one season you played, you were a champion. Yeah. That's true. Hella numbers. Best time to say goodbye. I feel like if I went to officiate a wedding where I didn't know the people,

there'd be like four or five dudes in the back like this fucking clown. This fucks this fucking clown. Obviously, I'd be dancing with every woman at the party and every gentleman. Especially my mom. I would be mad too, though. I fucking bailed Jake out of jail when we were 19 and didn't tell his mom.

But okay, this podcast dude gets to officiate. This smiling, handsome podcast motherfucker. Thick head of hair. And then Jake's just walking up, bean burrito, no onions on. All his friends are like, fuck this coward. We don't listen. We told you. I listen to Joe Rogan.

They listen to Bill Simmons. She likes my favorite murder. Man, there's this, I listened to this skate podcast called The Nine Club and they went through today and they're like, what podcast do you guys listen to? And I'm like, say all fantasy, everything. Say all fantasy, everything. And first, right out of the gate,

they're like, dude, like straight up Joe Rogan experience, like for sure. And I'm like, yeah, all right. They're like all 500 of Joe Rogan's episodes. Yeah, that's a deep catapult. And now that it gets to, but like I'm not trying to do that, but I'm just saying like I want to desperately. What aren't you trying to do? Be the next Joe Rogan. episodes. Yeah, that's a deep catapult. And now that it gets to, but I'm not trying to do that, but I'm just saying

I want to desperately... What aren't you trying to do? Be an extra Rogan. Do that. I'm not trying to talk shit. Alright, yeah, fuck it. No, no, no. What? No, I just like the way you said do that. Do that, do that, do do that, do that. Do that, do that, do do that, do that. Not a Tribe Called Quest in this studio.

No. Just lo-me. Do you scoopity poop, everybody? No, I tried it on. I didn't like it. Yeah, I didn't. It was weird. You know what? My opinion doesn't matter because I knew you already didn't like it.

Yeah. I didn't like it, but you didn't like it either. No, no, no. Of course you're going to catch yourself. Yeah, yeah. No, you know what I mean? You don't need me checking you. When I stumble, I pick myself up.

And you get it. Yeah, chumbawumba. Tubthumb. Yeah, chumbawamba's the greatest. Yeah. Yeah, flip mode. Of all time. Chumbawamba's the first EGOT, you know that?

Wait. Shut up. Chumbawamba. You didn't know that. Nobody in here knew that. Marissa, you knew that, right? That's not true. The band Chumbawamba.

Let me get this right. Marissa, you knew that, right? She said no. She said absolutely not. She said absolutely not. That was the harshest tone she's ever taken. Marissa's patience ran out right there in that moment. Absolutely not. You couldn't hear it, but she sounded like the cave from Aladdin.

104 episodes of us being fucking idiots. And her being an intelligent young woman with her whole future ahead of her. Absolutely not. Finally ran out. Or Gollum. Or she sounded like Gollum. Chumbawamba got the first EGOT. I mean, I was kidding.

Emmy. No, I know. Grammy Oscar Tony. The Tony's the one I really like to imagine. How didn't they get the Tony? Oh, there was a Home Alone 4 Broadway play. Wait, was Chumbawamba on the Home Alone soundtrack? They were the Tub Something, right?

Yeah, that was on Home Alone 4. Jesus, what a deep cut. You saw Home Alone 4? Yeah, with the little kid. They all have Home Alone 4. You mean the one where they get... You know the kids Home Alone? The one that wasn't Macaulay Culkin.

Maybe it was Home Alone 3, but with the remote control car. Oh, yeah. It was like a new generation. I'm too old for that. I'm still bad or whatever. I don't know what the plot was. I drink a whiskey. I drink a cider.

Fall down, get up again. Is this like the lounge rearrangement? I'm trying to do a... Like the Tony's version of it. I'm trying to do like Come to the Cabaret, but it's their lyrics. But I don't know their lyrics that well. I get knocked down. Quick sidebar,

is that also what it's called when you sit on your balls? When what? Is that called a chumbawamba? That's what it's called. I bet it's not, but what'd you say? If you sit on your balls, is it called a chumbawamba? It is now. That's what we called it where I was from. Really? Where are you from? At Orcacas Island.

Not a lot of people have balls that big. Oh, that's what we call a chumba wumba. I do. You call it chumba on your wumbas. Sean's got balls that big. Have you ever sat on your balls? Yeah. It's not even necessarily the size.

It's just the position. Like, if you accidentally swing back and sit, you're done. Listen, I understand about sitting on balls. I like that. You go, if you ever swing back and sit, you're done. Listen, I understand about sitting on balls. I like that. You go, if you ever swing back and sit, you're done, bro. Sometimes when I prance, I kick my heels back and I'll tag myself. You know when you're prancing?

Like it's a beautiful spring day and there's a field you're alone so you prance. Sometimes you just gotta time your gait better. It's a gait issue. As you get older, it becomes less of an issue. Or more, they sag. That's why, it's a gate issue. As you get older, it becomes less of an issue. I got a big gate. Or more. They sag. I don't know. That's why football players wear such

tight pants. Otherwise, it'd be a mess. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Mel Jordan on Instagram. What an intro. You know? That kind of podcast. That kind of podcast. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it's that kind of podcast. It is that kind of podcast.

I'll say about balls. And it really podcast. It is that kind of podcast. It's the trouble one, but sit on your balls podcast. I sit on my balls. And it really hurts. But I don't get up again. I don't get up again. I take a ride to the doctor's office. Sitting on my balls. Sitting on my balls. I sit on my balls, and I sit on my balls.

I sit on my balls. I sit on my balls. I sit on a chair, and my balls are between sit on my balls i sit on my balls i sit on my balls i sit on a chair and my balls are between me and my legs pissing in colostomy bags because you sat on your balls i have yeah oh yeah yeah no i know that they have nothing to do with your urine it's gotten blue up top sean what do you got going on baby uh you know nothing coming up uh this comes out go to faded on every friday at the blue rooster please we're uh you know we're budding stand-up comedy You know, nothing coming up This comes out, go to Faded Every Friday at the Blue Rooster, please

We're, you know, we're budding stand-up comedy show Good energy, good vibes in the room And listen to this And, you know, watch the Late Late Show with James Corden True name No, I don't have, I honestly don't have any road dates Coming up, because I've been wanting to do this This is what I want to do

And this is what I've been focusing on. So, you know, keep listening. And everyone's so cool. I'm happy to be here. I have a beard. I don't think it's going anywhere for the whole month of November. We'll probably have to post a picture of that. I think it's sticking around.

I think. How long are you going to let it get? Well, I might as well go through. So Laura's going to Belize. She won't know. Can you Belize that? If you can Belize it. Can you Belize it? She's going to Belize. She won't know. Can you Belize that? If you can Belize it. Can you Belize it?

She's going to Belize me here in the States. So are you going to go full Santa? I mean, is it going to be white? Is that what you're saying? Is it going to be gray? Because I'm old. I'm 37. I meant lengthwise.

But yeah, that too. I don't know how long it gets. I'm excited to see. You've never gone past that? I don't think so. We could do one of these things on the Slack where I just take a photo every day up against a white wall. Yeah, you should do that. And then we timeline it.

You should be the long beard guy in the hang. I could do it. Ooh, the long beard guy in the hang. Right outside my boss's office and just be like, fuck you, bro. Taking another photo of the beard. Man, if you became a long beard guy, that would change our friendship. It really would. That would change everything.

I don't know that we'd be friends anymore. What do you think is going to happen here? I think you'd become closer friends. I don't know, man. You might get into like- you think is going to happen here? I think you'd become closer friends. I don't know, man. You might get into like. The Sons of Anarchy? He has to start smoking weed. You might get into the Sons of Anarchy that smokes weed.

Then fine, I'm growing it. You don't like open a cider brewery or some shit? You're really good at hacky sack. You're going to have to get suspenders for sure. I thought you were going to say suspended. I was like, from what? Twitter? Westview High School.

Yeah, one of those like, I just shave it down the side so it's like a rectangle growing straight down. No, I'm not on one of those. I just let it go nuts? Mm-hmm. Okay. You should get a handlebar like this dude Steve Slanky that you don't. By the way, no shade on people with long beard. Oh, no, you guys look fantastic.

It would be hard to see one of your best friends go from no long beard to long beard and then be like, how do I talk to you now? There are certain beard shapes that make me feel unsafe. Yeah. Also because you're not as adventurous with your facial hair in general. Like, neither am I. Like, Ian's very like, it could be a beard, it could be a mustache, it could be no mustache. I'm ready for anything. Yeah, anything could go.

Three things you just said. I can do all three of those. Yeah, but you don't. You and I both, we don't really do much with it. No, I gotta be more like Shane, where I just have a crush. Time stamp. Marissa. Marissa. Sorry, I'm on stone. Marissa, please time stamp.

I gotta be more like Shane. I want audio. Nobody's talking about how crazy. This guy doesn't make moves with facial hair. I feel like if we all focus our energy on it, he might just have a seizure. Okay, that's fair. It's like too much. Yeah. It's like too much. Yeah. It's like too much.

I've seen that goatee. Sean just showed everybody a picture of his goatee. I'll put it up in the Slack. Put it up in the Slack. I think it'd be nicer if you didn't. Laura fucking cringed when I sent her a photo and she, yeah. Also, you took the picture with a sort of white boy Hype Williams angle. Oh, yeah.

For sure. It looked like you thought that some stuff was supreme. Yeah, you're going to go curb stomping. That maybe not everybody feels like it's supreme. Dang. Oh, by the way, to finish that, we have a, anyway, I'll do it. The G is silent on Twitter. I literally, it's all LA dates, so just look at my Twitter and stuff right now. Cool guy jokes at 7 on Instagram.

Yeah, I'm not really going out of town till probably December. Look out for that, Denver. But in the meantime, yeah, you know, come to Faded every Friday. Support the Patreon. We're up in the Slack. We're going to have all those fun bonus content. I'm excited. You know.

Oh, you know what? I want to take some time to really sit back and say. Take it. I sat with it, and I listened to a lot, and I did a lot of soul searching. And I'm not going to say I think I went too hard on Tupac. I don't feel as. Whoa. Is it attraction?

Mm-hmm. I really went in there, and I was like, man, I was really discounting some great music. I was playing them out a little bit. And I'm sorry, but to grow is to learn. This is so earnest and heartfelt. What episode is that in reference to? The last episode. Oh, what was the theme?

No, it was two ago. It was like two or three ago. Things that are overrated. Overratedship. Oh, and you said he was over theme? No, it was two ago. It was like two or three ago. Things that are overrated. Overrated shit. Oh, and you said he was overrated? No, Ian did, and I jumped in, but I think I went a little harder than... I just picked it mostly

to wind him up and let him go. Watch him fly. And I went, but then I had to look. And I went. You gotta keep it real, man. Listen, Mio, I can talk to you candidly. Just leave the night of us.

You're a fucking puppet master, all right? I'm nobody's favorite. I'm nobody's favorite on this podcast. Yeah. But I got the strings. Strings. I got the fucking strings. These two idiots over here from the cross from us,

they have no idea. You really think you're nobody's favorite? So we're clear. You're everyone's favorite. Oh, come on. When we tried, there was one time when Ian was sick, and he goes, you and David could do it.

And just for a second, just for a shadow, I was just like, I don't even think I had time to take a full breath. Like, no, we couldn't. It wouldn't be what it is. He's the car. One of you is the wheels, and one of you is like the nice coat of paint. Shut the paint. But he's the car.

Who's the nice coat of paint? Me. I'm not going to say who's who. I'm not going to say who's who. I'm not going to say who's who. I'm the wheels. I'm flashy, baby. I'm the wheels, bro. Yeah, you're the wheels.

Exactly. White wheels. Only the best for my Ian car. We'll work on the name. I didn't even like joking about you guys being idiots there for a second. You know what I mean? Even for the bit. I just found out whatsoever is one word in the Slack the other day, so they don't even

need to listen to the podcast to see me do dumb shit. And I still love them. Yeah. Oh, you thought it was what? Oh, I get that. Whatsoever. Yeah. I always get that with daytime.

Oh, yeah. Is daytime one word? Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah. I think it is. How about anytime? One word.

There's time for it to be two words, right? No? What do you mean time? I guess I wouldn't take any time to go do that. I can do it at any time. Two words. But I will love you any time of the day.

Hey, thank you. Any time. One word. But I can't say, do you have any time to get this done? I can't say it that way. What if we're talking about

T-H-Y-M-E? T-H-Y-M-E? Come on, man. The herb? We were having a serious... Was it serious? We were trying to get to the, yeah. You made me spell.

I'm mad now. Yeah, I'm pissed. I have to think. I came in angry, and I'm only more mad. I'll piss people off. I'll piss people off. Yeah, I'll piss people off. I've been pissing everyone off.

At me-ell. Me-ell. Brand-ell. Brand-ell. Thanks. Brand-ell Brando. Thanks. Brando. Brando. What a resounding welcome of male voices.

You're the best. Brando. You guys are the best. I feel like I get to come on so much, and I don't feel like I deserve it. We love you. You're our favorite. What are you talking about? Way better than Sean.

I'm like, ooh, another time? Wow. I've been so excited all day. You're our favorite person to hang out with. Seriously. You're like the fourth AFV. that way better than sean i'm like oh another time wow i've been so excited all day you're our favorite person to hang out with seriously you're like the fourth afv or didn't i tell you that at the outback steakhouse where i thought i got roofied later that night but it just turned over something happened something happened either i got food poisoning from outback steakhouse or somebody slipped me a mickey that could happen i'm'm so sorry. No, I was very high.

I do not remember if you said that. Oh, that's all good. I definitely did. It was a night. Something happened. That was not you. You think it was the outback? There's a few fourth AFEers.

The real fourth AFEer, of course, is Marissa. Oh, yeah. Yes. But then the second fourth AFEer. She's like our Billy Prescott. Yeah. Billy Prescott? She's the engine of the car.

Oh, Billy Prescott. Wouldn't that be a cool nickname for a manager? I like that. You're like the second fourth AFE-er. And then Zach is like the third fourth AFE-er. Amy's up there. Amy, for sure. I'm in the tier amongst gods. I feel very honored.

It's you and Marissa in one tier and then there's one below that. So if there was an FBI agent in a hotel room mapping out the tiers of fourth AF years. Is this a serpentine explanation? If you guys got arrested. All right, so picture there's an FBI board. The red threads would connect us all. When is Mindhunter coming back?

The King Queens. Good question. I love that show. Me too. I never got into that. Is it like Ozarks? Jonathan, what's his name? Yeah. Hotty Little. Is it like Ozarks? Jonathan was his name. Yeah.

Hotty little. Taylor Jarvis? He's a hotty little. He's got a hotty little body. Who's Jonathan? You know, Jonathan from Spring Awakening. I don't remember his name. Gruff?

Gruff? He was in Hamilton. He was the king. I'm bad at names. I don't know, but he is the king. He's the dude. He's the bro. He's in Mindhunter.

He's great. Never seen Mindhunter. This episode got to you by Mindhunter. Watch it. Mindhunter. Watch it. Watch it. How deep is it Mindhunter. This episode brought to you by Mindhunter. Mindhunter. Watch it. Watch it. Bros.

How do you, is it a couple seasons? Seven episodes? Oh, yeah, dog. Hell yeah, I'll watch that. It's a binge. I'll watch that after this art show

I'm going to tonight, bro. Miel, what's up, dude? You just got scared. Ian just threw a handful of spiders at Miel. Miel, what's happening? Halloween is right around yesterday's corner.

Could that be a bigger corner? Halloween is so far away. It's way around the corner. Punch of the Jam is mostly it. We actually also launched a Patreon last week. Yes, I launched ours because I saw you launch yours. Shut the fuck up. We can't be having that.

This ain't a scene. It's a goddamn arms race. You're not doing it. I'm doing it. No, but I've been like, we've been talking about it forever. And I was like, oh, they did theirs. I wonder if it's easy. It seems hard to do.

I was so afraid to do it for the longest time. I'm just now realizing, was it shitty for us to do that at the same time? No. Okay, God. Thank God. No, it's not mutually exclusive. I didn't think so. I think we have a lot of the longest time. I'm just now realizing, was it shitty for us to do that at the same time? No. Okay, God, thank God. No, it's not mutually exclusive. I didn't think so. I think we have a lot of the same fans. There's a lot of Punch-Up fans

in our Slack. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, what's the name? Somebody said that you're how they find new music. Oh, really? I doubt it's me.

Everyone likes Demi's music tastes more than mine. No, they said you. And they said, they hope Demi dies. Oh my God, finally, someone said it. I know.

Oh, I'm not on board on this. Finally, I've been dreaming of the day. They said they hate Demi. Yeah, they did. They didn't. I'm going to hold it down for Demi just because his Halloween costume was the best Halloween costume.

Minion Dollar Baby? Minion Dollar Baby. Man, that's tight. He didn't win our work costume contest. Isn't that crazy? Who won? He didn't. Somebody dressed up as Justin Bieber eating that burrito from the side.

Yes. That was pretty good. Minion Dollar Baby? It was pretty good. And then another person. Can I tell this story? Do you want to present it? Somebody who was involved in our show.

Uh-huh. Who was quite a character from day one. They're not there anymore. Okay. After one of the Christmas parties, went to other parties. Was this Craig Ferguson? It was Craig Ferguson. And at some point that night, bit off the tip of his tongue.

What? And broke both of his arms. No way. Falling out of a car or something like that. Wow. And so it got the tongue reattached, but had his, like, tongue all stiffed up, and then both of his hands in casts.

Man, dude. Sounds like an urban legend. Somebody dressed up as that person. Oh, my God. That's so mean. Blood going down their shirt, and they had, like, two casts on like two cast shots, and they won the contest because it was funny, but Demi's was the cleverest, for sure.

Everything about that is, first of all, game recognize game, because I think I go hard, and then I hear a story sometimes. You do go hard. And you're like, dude, that's gnarly. That is gnarly. Yeah. It was on a Halloween night. No, Christmas.

Yeah, better. Wow. So, anyway. Salute to you. No, Christmas. Yeah, better. Wow. So anyway. Salute to you. But Demi's costume was tight. No, but fucking, yeah, they love you and Demi and I. Oh, it's so nice. But I interrupted.

Talk about your slack. Talk about everything else you got going on. We don't have a slack. That's a good ass idea. Oh, talk about your Patreon. I'm sorry. We do another show that we release weekly. Yeah.

Just continuing off the end of our show, Unpunchable Jam. So it's just Unpunchable's anything. Oh, yeah. Which at times feels similar to your podcast. All fancy everything on the HeadGum Network. We're not drafting anything. We're just talking about shit. Do you have guests?

Not yet. You want to be on it? No, I mean, it sounds fun. It's fun, yeah. If you want some guests on, we will be your guests on. Yes, please. And that was also Gaston from Belle?

Yeah, that's right. Oh, great. That was good. See? Your brain works too fast. It's real quick. I was over here thinking about Unpunchable Everything. I'm like, what's else Unpunchable?

And then you're over there fucking cooking stew. If you want some Gaston, just call your friend Sean, and he'll get them in handy, and they'll come along. Somebody asked if we were good at freestyling in there and I was like, well, I'm not, but I've always wanted to be. So it worked today. I was trying to freestyle through a song that's way too fast for me to freestyle.

Why wouldn't you? At work, out loud? On the walk to work. I walk to work. I don't have a car. And out loud freestyling. Boy, it was bad. Dude, I can freestyle.

Give me a beat right now. I can't do that either. I try. Oh, you do it was bad. Dude, I can freestyle. Give me a beat right now. I can't do that either. I try. Oh, you do it, Tipsy. What's up, fools? It's your boy, Ian. Now I'm on the mic again. And I brought a few friends along.

Don't get it wrong. I'm going to sing a song. This song is about what we're dressed in today. I got something to say. Clear your plate. Make way. Because vegetables is what we're dressed in today. Oh! Damn!

That was sick. That was so good! I'm the guy who thinks Tupac is overrated. That was fast, though. That was such quick brain work. Wasn't that tight? Hell yeah. That was sick.

I'm blown away. Yeah. Anyway, Patreon, thanks. Ian, what about you? Oh, thank you. I'm at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram, at Ian Carmel on Jewish Gmail.

Gmail. Gmail. Jewmail. Jewish Gmail. Gmail. Gmail. Gmail. Jewish Gmail. Gmail Mangiani. Juju. Juju Fruits. Juju Fruits.

Jumanji. What do I got going on? Nothing much. Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden. A lot of in-town dates. A lot of in-town dates. When does the Babs one come out? Today, actually.

So a week ago. A week ago. You're listening to this. I watched the promo. It looks great. And also, I'll say this. Tune in. Tune in to The Late Late Show on November 14th to see your boy doing a stand-up comedy set on The Late Late Show.

TV credits. Racking him up. Racking him up. Leaving Shane in the dust. Racking him up, dudeacking them up. Leaving Shane in the dust. Racking him up, dude. You guys both left me in the dust a long time ago. Network television. I can't even see the dust anymore.

Nah, dude. Come on, man. The dust is settled. The dust is in the wind. That's all we are. That's all we are. You're right. I got a lot of live dates around.

Go to Faded. Faded is fucking awesome. I'm going to try to, anytime I'm in town, I'm going to be there. You will be. Whether I'm on stage or not. Faded is fucking awesome. I'm going to try to, anytime I'm in town, I'm going to be there whether I'm on stage or not. Choo choo. I haven't seen Malloy on stage except the one time

for like two minutes the first night. I think he's on tomorrow night. All right. Wife Malloyer. Wife Malloyer. What else do I got going? Oh, go to our Patreon.

All www.patreon.com slash all fantasy. We have bonus episodes at once a month we're gonna do a mailbag once a month we're gonna do a watch along which is I'm so excited where we watch a movie and just talk through it so it's like you're watching whatever that movie is with us

it's all we did yesterday it's all we did exactly so we're just gonna record it cause fucking we might as well you guys wanna hang out with us fucking come hang out with us the slack is popping it's all we did yesterday exactly so we're just gonna record it because fucking we might as well you guys want to hang out with us yeah fucking come hang out with us the slack is popping it's been popping every day it's so much fun uh and you'll get to vote once a month on uh an episode so there it is yeah like a draft topic sign up also you just uh help us do what we do best which is so it means so much yeah and not And not saying that I won't, I will work a job the rest of my life if I have to, to do this. But if I could focus, if we could all just focus our attention on this, that's all I want to do. I would love to be able to do that and just do, just focus on this.

And that's essentially what that gives us the ability to do. You know. Just focus more on this. Yeah. We'll be able to work more on comedy and turning our bodies into weapons. Uh-huh. Like in the hurricane.

Via taekwondo, jeet kundo. Doesn't anyone want me to have like two hours of data? Oh, dude, do you think I don't know some hop keto?

The art of bone breaking. Is that a real thing? Hop keto? The art of bone breaking? The art of bone breaking. Hop keto? Hop keto. It sounds like that diet

but like with a hop first. Like Aikido. She ain't wrong. Wait, is Aikido another martial art? Keto. Shotokan? You think I don't know a little Shotokan? Shotokan?

She's great. I know Shotokan. Shotokan? Yeah, yeah. Second EGOT. After Chumbawamba. Ian's not even laughing off mic. He's just staring into the mic.

Malloy's here. Ian's staring into his mouth. I'm mad at his joggers. I started Taekwondo when I was four, Miel. And in that journey. Stop making me worry. You don't think you're the best. You're funnier than me.

I'm the best. You're the best. I'm the best. Let's be clear. Ian is the best. You're funnier than me. I'm the best. You're the best. I'm the best. Let's be clear. Ian is the best. Miel's pretty good. David is second best. David's second best.

I am third best. Fourth? She said stop making me horny when you're talking about karate. I wasn't. That's funny because I didn't bring up karate once. Oh, I'm sorry. Taekwondo. Taekwondo.

Taekwondo. Taekwondo. Taekwondo. Taekwondo. Taekwondo. Strike and smash with fist. Strike and smash with feet. The martial arts way. Taekwondo, bro.

Stop saying smash, bro. Now I'm getting horny. You know, by the way, go ahead and like it. Sub smash. Go ahead and subsmash that like button. Oh my goodness. I'm already getting pissed. I know.

I'm sorry. You're the straw that stirs the drink. I'm already getting pissed. I know. This is why we love our beer. I'm sorry. No, it's good. You're the straw that stirs the drink. I'm so sorry. Now, we're not just gathered here today to talk about the foot fist way. No, man. We are congregated here in beautiful Head Gum Studios in scenic downtown Los Angeles. Just a whimsical feather flight with sad piano background from Skid Row. Just a Forrest Gump credits away.

Exactly. The feather would land just on the border. In addition to supporting our Patreon, please keep charity in your hearts. Give to homeless charities. We are gathered here today, ladies and gentlemen, to Fantasy Draft. And I'll remind you, Sean Jordan is in the studio. Vegetables. Yeah.

Vegetables today. Yeah, it'll be a funny one. As P.L. Brado pointed out via text message to me earlier today, it is food season. It's food season, baby. It's food season. Is there not a food season? Every season other than this one is not food season. It's food season.

Are you doing like a play on words as it is food season? Are you mean because of the harvest? Well, yeah, sure. But also, you eat all the good food between Halloween and Christmas. Think about the rest of the year. Speak for yourself. I had a lobster in August, lady. I'm just saying, though, those moments are occasional.

August lobsters. But we get them continuously. It's food season. Uh-huh. Hanukkah? Yes. Is that in there? Yes. Latkes? Matzo? That's Uh-huh. Hanukkah. Yes. Also in there. Yes.

Latkes, matzo. You've got the vice. Kugels. Kugel. You could have a nice kugel. I don't care for a kugel. I don't care for a kugel. What's that?

I don't care for a kugel. A kugel is a sweet noodle casserole. It's like lasagna, but like sugar. Yeah. It's real fucking weird. Yeah, it's like sugary apple lasagna. It's whack. It's one of our worst things. it's like sugary apple lasagna. It's whack. It's one of our worst things.

Did we have it on Ash Street one time at your apartment? There's a chance I brought some Kugel home. Okay. Yeah. All right. Because I'm usually pretty forward thinking. Yeah, no, you wouldn't like this. I'm having a tough time.

If you close your eyes, it's less bad, I feel like. That's true. But when you think about what you're eating, mm-mm. You look at it because you're like, ooh, look at this savory delight. Ooh, cream, cheese. And then you bite into it. It's got cheese and sugar? No.

You think it has cheese. It's like sweet lasagna. That's the best way to describe it. It sucks. I don't know if then that's the best way to describe it because I am intrigued. Are you? Well, listen, I'm not going to fucking. Sweet lasagna?

Of course, Hanukkah, make one. You're blowing my mind. I'll make a fucking kugel. I'll do're blowing my mind. I'll make a kugel. I'll make a fucking kugel. I'll do some kegels. Yeah, I'll do some kegels. Are we talking about kugel to you? I won't be kuk-holding anyone.

No, he's not that kind of a guy. I'm taking, you know what I mean? Kugel, yep. And I'm taking two as well. Oh. Where am I? Where what? Yes.

You're just a whisper away from Skid Row is where you are. You're just a shot away. We are gathered here to drop vegetables. And the way we determine the order of the draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the three of you. And we throw and shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Ah, fuck, man. shoot! Oh, rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Ah-ha! Ah!

David wins again. Yes. Now, David Boyer, it is up to you to pick the order of the draft. Before you do, I'd love to remind you that this is a serpentine draft. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. What does that mean? Oh, sorry, question.

Great question. I was thinking about my first pick because I'm really scared about this one. It's wild. You'd think after 105 of these these you might know what it is, but I'll break it down like a shotgun for you. Thank you. So if you're at work

and you have a Slack channel at work, then you have a Slack channel for fans on the Patreon. And let's say you're putting in a photo of your goatee in the Slack channel for the Patreon.

And then you go to the work one and you say, we have a Jira issue with ABC Mouse. the Slack channel for the Patreon. And then you go to the work one and you say, we have a Jira issue with ABC Mouse. It's not loading the parents page. And then you want to go back over to the Slack channel, the AFE Slack channel, but then you're like, wait, that's Jira issue 1594. And then you go back over to the AFE Slack channel and you're like, dude,

what's the nicest thing you guys can say about Shane? Because I'll find a way to make it mean. And then you think about another work problem. But before you do that, you're like, hey, here's a cool skateboard video of Chris Cole skating to Common, who was a popular topic of conversation yesterday. And then you go back to the work slack. And then you're like, hey, I'm going to take my lunch a half hour early if that's cool. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment because my girlfriend cares about me.

I'm more confused. Well, that wasn't complicated at all. Basically what that means, I actually don't know anymore. I don't know what that means. I don't know what a serpentine draft is. Snakes? After that one. That one was long gone.

That one was wild. You went way into the wilderness. Yeah, man. You got a full beard. You went full Neuroth on that one. Back and forth, he got lost in the woods, a friend of ours. It was terrifying. Shout out to Adam Neuroth.

I drove home from Santa Monica bawling. Bawling. Back when I had a car, dude. I drove home from Santa Monica bawling without the W. I was just crossing fools up. I'd put it in parka and hop out. I'd fucking dunk on people. When I say it, I meant I was listening to 8-Ball and MJG.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was doing. I was bawling. Oh, it came back to me. Basically, if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. Now, David, with that in mind, what will the order of today's All Fantasy Everything draft be? I'm going to give Ian and Sean the hot corners. Woo!

So we're going to go Sean. Sean Jordan. Okay. Me. Thank you. Me, Al, Ian. Me, Al Brado. Ian likes that hot corner.

A meal, a meal, a meal, a meal. Giving Sean first pick. Okay. I have to. I'm so excited to see what you're going to draw. Sean Jordan, a man who has told me on a number of occasions, I don't like vegetables. Yeah, I don't. So what's your strategy here then?

I also don't read books. Don't read books? Shorty can't eat no books. Shorty can't eat no books. You eat dirt, or red dirt. Sorry, Freudian slip. Red dirt? You talking about my Limp Bizkit cover band?

The lead singer, Red Dirt? Wasn't that the book you said you read? The Dirt, the Motley Crue book. The Dirt. The Dirt. That was the one book that Shorty could eat, because they make you eat it at the end. Yeah, they did. Because they're fucking gnarly.

Sean Jordan with the first pick in the Vegetables All Fantasy Everything draft. You were on the clock. I just feel like I'm going to really take it on the chin today. I'm going to pick potatoes. That makes sense. Right? I mean, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a good pick. That's the best Sean's pick. Because I love potatoes. Yeah. The least vegetable vegetable. I mean, they're a fucking vegetable, right? The tone in your voice right now is like you can't believe your backstage pass work.

Nice potatoes. You're like, all right, so all the way back, huh? And so you're telling me Steven Tyler's just right over there. There's no bodyguards or anything? I can go over there? I can just go over there. Steven Tyler's right there. And Joe Perry.

They're both there? Do they look like disgusting old baseball gloves? Yeah, they do? All right, tight. I'm I can go over there? I can just go over there. Steven Tyler's right there. And Joe Perry. They're both there? Do they look like disgusting old baseball gloves? Yeah, they do? All right, tight. I'm going to go over there and talk to them. What is it about potatoes that you like? Because they're dope. It hurts so much when Mielle laughs.

Because that's not a laugh with you, friend. It's so funny. It's so funny. He just said calling potatoes dope. That's amazing. What's your favorite laugh with you, Fred. It's so funny. It's so funny. He just said calling potatoes dope. That's amazing. What's your favorite? Because they're dope. What's my favorite potato dish?

They're dank. Shepherd's pie. I'm guessing. I'm guessing. But man, I didn't think about it. Michael Miller got a shepherd's pie out at a bar and shit. Seen it twice, dog. Wow.

He's wild. That's some Irish shit. He gets a piping hot bowl of shepherd's pie. That is psycho shit. Seen it twice, dog. Isn't that wild? He's wild. That's some Irish shit. He gets a piping hot bowl of shepherd's pie at the Vermont Public House. Yeah, and we'll be like, you know, everyone else is drinking like double liquor, double liquor, double liquor or whatever. And him too, by

the way. And him too. And he gets dinner. That's a wild thing to do, Mike. I hope you're with us. We love you. A happy dinner. He's built different. Dude, he's built different. He is. He hope you listen. We love you. Happy dinner. He's built different. Dude, he's built different. He is. He's built for the long haul and the short haul.

Yeah. Weird flex. You know? That dude can drink like 30 beers all day and then just like, it's just like. He's great. Yeah, he's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

He can drink 30 beers and probably then go like, probably throw like, hit 85 on the pitch. Mouse power. I can see. I thought you were talking about that punching bag at the fair that only dirtbags hit. Yeah, that's the dirt. Mike Malloy Headlock is a place

you don't want to visit too often. Dude, I've, man, I got a fucking timeshare there. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Me and like two other kids from Boston. We're getting too far away from potatoes, bro. French fries, maybe.

Sure. What's your favorite kind of French fry? Well, my favorite, my favorite. What's the cut? Oh, I like a thick. Well, I guess if we're being, if we're really going wild, I like a crinkle cut. You like a crinkle cut? Yeah, do you like a crinkle cut?

I like a fried, pulled out the freezer on Halloween. Your mom's making sloppy joes. Very specific. Chimes of St. Sue Carmel. Yeah, yeah. I miss the sloppy joes. Seriously. Kelly Jordan fucking handled that, too.

You like a crinkle cut with some ranch on a plate, right? I see you. It wasn't ranch until... You see me now. With some ketchup on the floor. Used to be mad ketchup. Yeah, dude. Ketchup and mustard.

What did you say to me in the morning after Minneapolis? The other day I saw you and you were like, man, you should have seen me at Wendy's the other day. All the ketchup. Yeah, dude. I was drowning in it. I was laughing like a villain, like I just killed a whole ketchup family. Dipping the gun in it

and just looking the gun off. I think ketchup's awesome. I love ketchup too. I'm with you. I think we all know where I stand on that. David, that would put you on overrated. Hate it. But you know ketchup's like, well, in a lot of barbecue sauces, like the primary ingredient. Ketchup. Ketchup.

All right. You must like it a little bit. I like a molasses base. Also, why are you assuming I love barbecue sauce? Because you said it on the same episode. You don't love barbecue sauce? I don't really. You said it was better than ketchup.

Don't be a contrarian. It's better than ketchup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm saying it's not my top sauce. Well,'t really. It's still. You said it was better than ketchup. It's better. Yeah. Don't be a contrarian. It's better than ketchup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But I'm saying it's not my top sauce.

Well, we're not doing that. What do I always get when we go out? I'm ranch. Every time we go out. Hammered is what you always get when we go out. Yeah.

Because of the ranch. I'm gone off that hidden valley. When you deal in the amount of ranch. Uh-huh. I found the valley. You found the valley? I found it. You get a ranch cognac in the valley. When you traffic in the amounts of ranch. Uh-huh. I found the valley. You found the valley?

I found it. You get a ranch cognac in the valley. When you traffic in the pure tonnage of ranch that the likes of us do, it will get you buzzed. It's a grip. It's like kombucha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a grip. Yeah, it's just low levels.

It's just low levels. It's low levels. It's a great amount. They let kids buy it, but you know. Yeah, they shouldn't. Don't let your kid just pull it off straight. I like a crinkle cut. I like Burger King has my favorite fast food fry.

Oh yeah, Burger King is a good friend. What about waffle fries? Yeah, I love them. Waffle fries. Because they can pick shit up real well. I hate them at home though.

I always fuck them up at home. They're never good at home. They're so greasy. Yeah, they just don't work out at home. I can safely say I've never once made fries by myself.

I've never made them. Really? Not even the frozen ones? You've never even poured the frozen ones onto a tray? Really? What about tater tots? If you can microwave them, yeah.

I know they make tater tots you can microwave. I've never made maybe, maybe, maybe tater tots in the oven, but I highly doubt it. Real quick question. Can't you technically microwave anything? I mean, you could, but I've never, even a savage like myself, I've never thought to microwave frozen fries. I don't know why. Honestly, you probably could. Well, but it's...

I just blew David up. It's fucking me up because they're really easy to make. Yeah, you just turn the oven on and that's it. And then take them out, right? And soon after, they're ready to eat. Well, you brought waffles. Waffle tapas. Waffle tapas.

Waffle tapas. There's a guy, Chad Drazen in Portland, Oregon, who runs this place, 50 Licks Ice Cream, which is Delish Losh. And when we're there, we should stop in for a, I'm putting it on him, a complimentary scoop. Oh, shit. And the reason why is because he, in the winter, I guess they don't sell as much ice cream, you know, put two together. I can't figure it out. But they were going to open like a waffle bar type place.

What? And he, I never checked my Facebook messages, but he had messaged me. He was like, hey, can we call it Waffle Tapas? Yeah. So. You get free waffles for life. They didn't end up opening it this year, but maybe next year. And then, dude.

Let me cut the ribbon. If you hear this, let me cut the ribbon. Then you're going to get some big scissors. Just let me cut the, oh you hear this I was gonna say let me cut the ribbon then you're gonna get some big scissors just let me cut the oh my gosh big scissors big scissors you've been wanting to live a big

ever since we nicknamed you big scissors 10 years ago yeah yeah yeah fuck what if we started calling you big scissors yeah I would love it have we never told anyone why

yeah no never I would love it like late one night like Sean and I are outside waiting for an Uber you're still inside you know

hanging out with some people. And somebody comes up and they're like, hey, huh, what's up? Why do they call David Big Scissors? And it's like, oh, man. Yeah, I know. Oh, I'm sorry. Now we got to leave him here. Hey, man, we got to go.

Sean, you ready? Yeah, yeah. And the guy's like, is it? And then we just go, dude. And then it's weird between us forever. Sean, you ready? Yeah. And the guy's like, is that? And then we just go, dude. And then it's weird between us forever. Just because you asked. Big scissors. It's the life I've always wanted.

Yeah. I like potatoes because they can disappear into other food items. Yeah, they really can. Like gnocchi's potato. Gnocchi. Donuts have potato in them sometimes. Yeah, yeah. What is it when they're cutting a scalloped potato?

I love a scalloped potato I love scalloped potatoes Oh gratin Oh gratin Roasted mashed Potatoes are easy Oh gratin Oh gratin

He he he Oh gratin Oh gratin You're making me horny again boys Sorry No one bakes like Oh gratin No one bakes

Oh gratin I just like saying When you make Oh gratin. I just like saying, au gratin. When you make, I love a twice baked potato. Yeah. Yeah. Now that's why they bake it not once,

but count them up twice. Potato skins. Yeah. Big bang for the buck. You know, they're like 20 cents and that's, that can be dinner.

It was a lot when I moved here. Yeah. I would just microwave one and it'd be dinner. You just cut off the green part. Yeah, that shit lasts forever. You are an Irish.

So it's only right that you got it. It's only right that I'm disgustingly broke. Still find a way to buy Jameson. Good whiskey, but eat potatoes. I mean, you bought. Well, I bought Jameson, and you have steadily replaced the My Jameson that you've been drinking, and then you keep drinking it. I'm one Jameson behind.

We're really fulfilling our roles here, because I'm basically a bank. A Jameson bank that you keep withdrawing from, except you're a friend of the family, so I don't charge you any interest. I'm being very Jewish, and you're being very Irish. And there's always a potato

in the oven, not in the microwave. I don't know how to use an oven. We established that. We have a Schrodinger's potato. Is it a latke yet? We don't know. Wait, you box? is. Not in the microwave. I don't know how to use an oven. We established that. Always, we have a Schrodinger's potato. Is it a latke yet? We don't know. Wait, you box? You bake potato in a microwave?

Yeah. You can. You can. You put a wrap in like a paper towel, you know? And then you just, and then just zap it? For like,

yeah, for like nine minutes though. I mean a long time. And then, yeah, you can do it. That scares me. I don't want to use microwaves anymore.

me neither, no. Yeah, it also feels like if it's nine minutes, you might as well just... How long does it take to bake a baked potato? Like an hour. Is it that long? Well, it takes like this much to hit the oven, like 40 minutes in the oven.

Necessity is the mother of invention, Mr. Borey. I use a microwave. And he's got to get those potatoes. Have fun in your blimp, my friend. I'll be taking a helicopter. Wow. Wow. What do you think about this, Sean?

What do we think? I like it, actually. I like it, but I don't... I don't understand the necessity part. I need potatoes. Oh, you need it fast. Yeah, quick. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Yeah. I got a bottle of Jameson to replace over here. I don't got time for oven situations. Okay, that's fair. Got a lot of pots on the oven. Each one of them full of a single potato rattling around in there Laura I'll tell you

what we're having we're having four different of the same kind of potatoes four times baked potato how many times is too many times quad baked potatoes oh an accident

I baked it ten fucking times twice microwaved potatoes still counts still counts Only 18 minutes Mashed potatoes are great too The thing about potatoes is they don't bring a lot to the table But they do Soak up a lot of whatever you want to cover it with

They help a lot It's good because you can't eat actual dirt That was another thing I'd do when I moved here I'd eat those instant mashed potatoes That would be dinner I'd make like an order And then put a bunch of hot sauce in it. And that would be my dinner. It's like a buck and it was pretty good.

Yeah. Not good for you, but good. Good for you. Good for you. Good for you. Good for you. Tell them the J-Man set up your ass with mobile gas. Potatoes.

Good first pick. Strong first pick. Thank you. I appreciate it. Can't wait to see what four, five, three, and two are. I don't know why I put them in that order, but in that order, I can't wait. I specifically really am interested in what your fourth pick is. Who knows?

I can't wait. Dude, this is going to be a bloodbath no matter what. Yeah. Yeah, this is- For me. You guys are- You're going to take all mine first, I'm sure, and then we'll see. I don't think that-

Maybe. Well, let's see. We'll see. What's happening right now. David Boyd, time for your first pick. I'm sure. And then we'll see. I don't think that, maybe. Well, let's see. We'll see what's happening right now. David Boyd, time for your first pick. I'm going cauliflower. Yeah. First pick. Gotta do it, man.

Damn. Broil it in the oven. I like putting it on the grill. Grill it up. How do you cut it or whole? I like to do medallions. Like a steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like the thick ones. Yeah. And then just like season it however I like and put it in like a steak yeah yeah yeah like the thick ones yeah and then just like season it however i like and put it in like a foil boat and then it's like crusty but it's also nice and moist yeah yeah throw that on a Weber yeah and yeah but it's also like when you get like those cauliflower crust pizza you just can do a lot with cauliflower it's a versatile vegetable it's like the runner-up to potato it tastes like, but it's got a little more kick. You know what I mean?

It's like cardboard to you. It's just so, if I just ate like a bite, it would taste. Okay, but have you had it prepared well? Yeah. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. But if you just eat raw, like do you guys, does it have a good taste? Wait, is that how you measure vegetables? If they taste bad raw, they're bad.

I've only had vegetables when they're thrown at me by my mom being like, you don't like these. You don't like these. Root for the compost. On a crudité, yeah. I mean, maybe they do taste a little bit like cardboard, but they being like, you don't like these. You don't like these. On a crudité, yeah. I mean, maybe they do taste a little bit like cardboard. But they're like... You steam it right.

You season it right. Yeah, because the texture is almost like kind of creamy. You guys have both made great cauliflower that I've had. Yeah, on the grill, right? You like that grill cauliflower? Yeah. Yeah, man. It's just, it can do a lot of things.

It's a really good texture. Mm-hmm. For like, it can kind of... Pepper it up. Yeah, it can kind of go to whatever you need. It's a really good texture. For like, it can kind of- Pepper it up. Yeah, it can kind of go to whatever you need. It does have a good texture. We're a chicken wing eating people. And the cauliflower, like a buffalo cauliflower,

is the right place to make it. Can I fucking humblebrag for one sec? I was working at the restaurant that invented that while we invented that. What? Yeah. Mohawk Bend and Echo Park invented buffalo cauliflower. They did?

My old exec chef, Mike Garber, made that shit up. It's the one place I've had it. It's great. It's so good there. It's the best there. I didn't know it was invented there. Wow. At least according to me and my vegan knowledge, that is the first place I ever saw cauliflower

even used as a meat substitute at all. Wow. Mike fucking Garber and then everyone jacked it and no one does it as well, but you know the secret? Huh? Okay. You take the cauliflower then everyone jacked it. And no one does it as well, but you know the secret? Okay. You take the cauliflower. You marinate it.

Okay. She's rubbing her hands together like Scrooge. Yeah, like Birdman. In rice milk. Birdman, here to be. You marinate it in rice milk? Yes, the raw cauliflower in rice milk for a while. It just gets tender.

I don't know how it works. Yeah. Then take it out of that, dredge it in equal parts cornmeal and finer cornmeal. What does dredge mean? Just kind of drag it on through. Wet into dry. Okay. And then toss, so it's fully stuck on there.

Then fry, baby. And then straight out of the fryer into Frank's Red Hot on a bowl. Toss it. Boom. Done. Delicious. Stop. Stop. Done. Delicious. Stop. Stop.

I will not. And he rules, y'all. Now you got a duel. Yeah. All right. All right. See, he can fucking do it. My name is Mel, and I'm here to stay.

And I'm not doing it anymore. You just did it. I don't know if she just did it. No, I didn't do anything. I walked right in and then back out revolving door. I don't know if she just did it. I didn't do anything. I walked right in and then back out revolving door. I don't know why she might be... This isn't my hotel. It keeps going.

It just keeps on going, this fucking door. I've already seen what the heat he has. I'm not going to play with fire. Why would I do that? Don't play with fire. You might get burned. If you step to me, you're going to get spurned. There are a couple things you should learn.

Don't do drugs, kids. Fucking PSA. Don't do drugs. Give mad hugs. Give mad hugs. Don't pour salt on slugs. It's mean. Slugs are nice and they'll help you kill your evil stepmom if you ask.

Light a candle. Summon the devil. Don't tell your dad or you'll be in trouble. I gotta stop clapping. That went nuts. That's just the last line. Don't tell your parents. Wait, have you had mashed cauliflower though?

Yes, I have. It poses as mashed potatoes. Oh, I could do that. It's really good. I haven't had mashed It poses as mashed potatoes. Oh, I could do that. It's really good. I could totally make that. Or like riced and then you use it instead of rice. Yeah, I've had that before.

I've had it in tacos instead of rice. God, it's really fucking good. Are you over there being actively grossed out by the idea of mashed cauliflower? You were making

a variety of faces. Yeah, it sounds so gross. It sounds like it would make me gag. Really? For sure. I had an idea but knowing what it faces. Yeah, it sounds so gross. It sounds like it would make me gag. Really? For sure. You're just imagining the wrong thing. Knowing what it was. Yeah, I bet you could see. This is how the stupid Midwestern mentality. If you snuck it into something

and didn't tell me what it was, I'd probably be, yeah, it was tight, but if I knew what it was. We're going to have a dinner party. No, we should get you hypnotized. If the Patreon gets to $10,000, can we hypnotize Sean to like vegetables? I don't even think it costs that much. How much do you think hypnotism costs?

I have no idea. That's true, actually. They could be so much. I have no basis for any of this. 10K minimum. I have seen so many hypnotizations. So if we hit it, then it's like. You should do it.

Make a whole episode about it. Yeah. Record the whole thing. We can make a video episode. Yes. I want a video. And then while he's under, we can tell him to say other stuff. Yeah.

What is he, a crip? Make him a blood. You're a blood now. Uh-oh. You're a black kid. Then everybody dies. You're the witness to social club now. Everybody dies.

Everybody involved. We can't do that. No one's ready for all that. We got plenty of stuff to do. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah. It's my mistake. do that. No one's ready for all that. That's, you know, we got plenty of stuff to do. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, can't be. All that. All that.

Like, I just thought about you being in the blood and still hating vegetables. I don't want no fucking Barrett's. I don't need cauliflower. Also, why haven't we been calling it cauliflower all the time? That should be the really cool all cauliflower restaurant.

Maybe it's basketball themed. I can't figure out the way to get the ball involved. Maybe it's men only. You gotta have balls. It could be on a ball. It's a cauliflower themed ball. Like a debutante ball. Yes. All the time it's cauliflower.

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, if we're here. Maybe it's, okay, here's what it is. It's a slam dunk contest, but you're slam dunking cauliflowers. Sure. Giant heads. That would actually still be fun. That would be cool.

And then you make a meal from all the smashed cauliflower on the ground. That not as fun. Not as fun. Okay. No. That's my mistake. That not as fun. I went too far.

It's okay. I want to do. That's the writer's room. That's why me and Sean are one in the same. Mm-hmm. One on the ground. That not as fun. Not as fun, okay. That's my mistake. That not as fun. I went too far. It's okay. I want to do. That's the writer's room. That's why me and Sean are one and the same. One and the same. I feel you. We also have luscious hair.

There's a lot of similarities. We're both millennials. You're both right at the top of my fucking shit list. When you say it, you sound like such a narc. We're both millennials. We Instagram faves DM.

I just bought some grass the other day Such a narc. We're both millennials. We Instagram faves DM. You know? I just bought some grass the other day, you know, for my millennial feed. You guys thoughting on Snapchat? I do a vlog. Do a vlog, bro. I roll grass joints on there. You roll grass joints? Mm-hmm.

How much? 25 cents a reefer? I go by the gram. The gram means two things to me. Weed and pictures. Meow, it's time for your first picture. Don't people get weed by a gram? Not really.

I shatter. Heather? You know? Shout out to a talented actor doing her thing. Heather Graham. Nice. Nice ref. Yeah. Is there a second thing?

I checked my phone for a second and everything fucking fell apart and I came back in trying to save it with a Heather Graham reference. Yeah, I was trying to be a kid over there. Heather Graham reference. For my first pick, I'll pick onions. Ooh, yes. I fuck with onions so fucking hard. What's your favorite onion?

You like a sweet yellow? I usually go, well, always organic, obviously, but if I can find organic sweet Hawaiian. Ding. Sweet Walla Walla. Ding. Maybe a Spanish red if I'm pickling it. Wow. If I'm pickling it.

Oh, I always have a jar of pickled onions in my fridge. And you pickle the red ones and then they turn hot pink. And you put them on a salad. You put them on a pizza. You can put them on a fucking burrito, anything. They're amazing. It's a sweet treat.

Sweet treat. With a slight bite. Dude, caramelized onions? I love them. When they're done the right way? I'm coming around on those. Ian caramelized onions. Ian caramelized onions.

That's your brand. Did you not like onions before either? I hate onions. Wait, what? That's why you didn't know onions in your burrito. I hate onions. Okay, but raw onions only or cooked onions too?

Well, I'm coming around on caramelized onions. I had onion rings last night. I had a couple. Yeah, and I like them, but it's all because of the breading and the dip. So you'll never do like diced onions on a brat? And or diced onions. God, no. I love them.

How could you not? It fills out the flavor. I love diced onions God no I love them How could you not It fills out the flavor I love diced onions On a dog Pop pop pop Pop pop pop It's not a whole meal Unless there's onions involved I truly believe that

In everything I've never had a whole meal Then for a purpose Oh I mean even the things They're not the star in They provide such a Je ne sais quoi

You need them I can do like a French onion dip We're getting there It's baby steps It's baby steps Onion rings French onion dip Do you like Fun there. It's baby steps. Onion rings, French onion dip. Do you like Funyuns?

I love them. Did you ever put onion powder in a hot dish? Never. No, she definitely did, dude. If it tasted good. I thought it tasted good. I mean, I don't know that everybody else. If you grow up in a house with no TV, you're like, not having TV is dope.

I didn't have TV. I like a Vidalia onion. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Which one's the Vidalia? TV, you're like, not having TV is dope. I didn't have TV. I like a Vidalia onion. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Which one's the Vidalia? Pearl, dude. Oh, Pearl onion. In a cocktail, too, sometimes?

I was just going to say, I like cocktail onions. Yeah, I love cocktail onions. Yes, man. A cocktail onion. Dude, onions. Maybe that's what you need to start. Cut it with booze. You know what, though?

I can even do a raw onion if you soak them in ice water and vinegar for a bit first, and then they're not making your mouth taste like shit for hours. I remember in junior high, we dared a kid to bite an onion like an apple. Who was his name? Stanley Yellnats? Wait, did you do that? Palindrome. Yellnats?

Is his name Stanley Yellnats? Isn't that a palindrome? It does sound like one. It's a guy from Holes. I think it is a palindrome. Stanley Yellnats. I haven't seen H palindrome? It does sound like one. Holes. I think it is a palindrome. Stanley Yeltsin. I haven't seen Holes. What?

I'm in my key component of that movie. I'm in my midlife. Oh, yeah. It is all about onions. Is it really? Definitely. Is that what they put in the holes? Yeah, it's an onion farmer.

You didn't read the book in elementary school either. No. Because the book's way older than that. The book's way good. One of the first novels I read was Moby Dick, dude. I'm up here, bro. I'm up here, dude. I'm all the way older than the movie. The book's way good. One of the first novels I read was Moby Dick, dude. I'm up here, bro. I'm up here, dude. I'm all the way up there, dog.

I'm all the way up here. That's why it sounds like that. And I just never read it. I read a bunch of childish books. Most of the Goosebumps and shit. It just never happened. The movie's good, too, honestly. Shia LaBeouf?

Shia LaBeouf. Yeah. Early Shia. Is Shia Je ne sais quoi? I knew he was going to pop in holes. He was going to pop in holes. He was going to pop in holes? Oh, I mean, I knew he was going to pop because of the movie holes. Pop off. Gotcha.

Gotcha. Yeah. But also pop in, pop out. Pop in, pop out. Wait, so what happened to the kid that ate the onion like an apple? Oh, we all just laughed and he was like bleh, bleh, bleh. Oh yeah, no, it wasn't a crazy story. My brother's friend, Jason Wald, who used to live with us, would do that. That guy ate everything.

He was a wrestler, so he just ate everything. He would house gallons of milk and shit. Whoa. Before the milk challenge days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Did he ever keep it down? You can keep it down.

I don't know if he maybe housed the whole thing, but most, you know what I mean? Yeah. But he would, yeah, just took a bite of an onion like an apple once. I don't know if he maybe has the whole thing, but most, you know what I mean? Yeah. But he would, yeah, just took a bite of an onion like an apple once. To be funny or in the quiet of his own home? I think he was hungry. What the fuck? I mean, if you like it. He'd be hungry, I think.

If you like the taste. Some people just look at food as fuel. I can't relate to that. Can't relate at all. Give me food. Give me fire. Give me that which I desire. Onions. Onions, baby. me that which I desire. Onions.

Onions, baby. Onions. Onions, yeah. There's a Beatles song. It's one of the worst Beatles songs. It's looking through a glass onion, you know? I've never even heard of that song. Oh, it's bad.

It's not a good title. They didn't start off. It could be paper, right? They used to use paper. Onion skin was paper? Could be. I might be making that up. I might be making that up.

It seems pretty flimsy. Seems like the hand of the woman who throws the necklace in at the end of Titanic. You mean Rose. Rose, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, no, that.

It's always, you know, as a kid, I was like. You guys have to explain you're doing the throw gesture when you make that noise. I want to make a boomerang of it. Nope, it's too late.

Moment's passed. Onions. So hard to stay in the now. Like a very polite game of tennis. I love that. All right, onions. Time for Rich Homie Carms to make his first pick and his second, as it is, as it is. With my first pick, I got to take lettuce, bro.

Yeah. What kind? What kind of onions? I take all onions. All lettuce. All lettuce. You're taking all the lettuces? Cash.

Cash. Money. Yeah, I got to take all the potatoes. There's certain things. If it's blank, then lettuce. Yeah, I get that. Not to contest your dominion, but just what's your favorite kind is what I mean. Oh, well, that's a good question.

It depends. Contest your dominion. Look at you. That was awesome. Jesus. What a regal way to say it. Not to contest your dominion. Not to contest your dominion, my dear.

Holy buckets. That was gnarly. I didn't mean to say that. I like a butter lettuce. That's what I was going to say. Oh, butter. That's what I had on my list. Butter lettuce is so good.

Dude, use them as lettuce cups? Ooh, I love it. It's so thick. Oh, when I used to work at P.F. Chang's, Paul Fleming Chang's. That's what the P.F. stands for. Something like Paul Fleming. Paul F. Chang's. Yeah, dude, we would fucking rock up those lettuce cups for people.

Yeah, but they use iceberg, right? Yeah. I think they do. You try going butter one day, you'll never go back. That's soft roll. What's butter lettuce? It's almost like the big,

the big luxurious soft lettuce. Like a little leathery, but in a good way. It's so good. I think you would like it. You make wraps with it? Is that the kind? You can.

You can make a salad where you don't shred the leaves. The leaves are whole because they're little and delicious. I love that shit. I think you should get some butter lettuce. I think you would fuck with that. Can we get him in on butter lettuce? That's the gateway drug? I think that would be easy to start.

Just being friends with people who eat vegetables over the last 10 years has been a long gateway drug. It's been a long, long... I'm just saying we throw butter lettuce on the next burger you have. Oh, yeah. You'd be happy with it.

Wait, so you don't even like romaine? I keep lettuce on burgers now, for sure. Wow. And I don't want to name other stuff. But yeah, I do keep lettuce on there for sure. Wow. I fuck with, I mean, if we're going to really go through lettuces, dude, I fuck with arugula. Yum.

You know what I mean? Oh, especially in the fall. Oh, I love arugula. It's a spicy lettuce, bro. On pizza? Oh, arugula on a pizza. Oh, my. You know what I mean? Oh, especially in the fall. Oh, I love arugula. Spice a spicy lettuce, bro. On pizza? Oh, arugula on a pizza. Come on. We just had, in Minneapolis, my friend Ryan and I just had arugula and Korean barbecue pizza.

Damn, dude. I'll take it. That's fantastic. I'll take that. I'll take that. Because he was, you know, he knows me like you guys do. He's like, you're going to fucking take all the arugula off, aren't you? And I go, I'm not.

I'm going to, you know. And you ate it? Fucking $20 pizza. Yeah. It was really good. Sean, Sean, I'm proud of you. I appreciate it. I think you might proud of you. I appreciate it. I think you might like it better.

I think it's a mental block, but I think you might. I think you can get into it. Yeah. It was good. It was really good. Like a frisee? Like an end dive if I can get my hands on it? You know what?

Can I just. Frisee is that one that looks like fucking the teacher's hair from Magic School Bus. Oh, Ms. Frizzle. Ms. Frizzle? Yeah. Okay. But not red. No.

Or sometimes red. All right. A little purple. Yeah. Okay. But not red. No. Or sometimes red. All right. A little purple. Yeah. Can I just say how much I fucking hate radicchio while we're on this? You don't like radicchio? I like radicchio. It's an earthy flavor.

So bitter, dude. Yeah. It's so bitter. Earthy hits you in the back of the tongue. Oh, like you're chewing on a battery or something? It reminds you the death comes for us all. It's like you swallowed chewing tobacco. Oh.

Careful about that. I don't know. If you ain't never done that, then don't speak on what that is. Listen, look at me. Do you think I've done tobacco? Never in my life. It is. Never smoked a cigarette.

Never even a puff. Chewing? Good for you. Never chewed. I'm accidentally swallowing chewing tobacco. But in my head. Have you ever swallowed any cigarettes? Only one.

Only one. Put any out on your arms over here. It tastes like radicchio to me in my imagination. It's another one I've never heard of. Tastes like radicchio to me. Dude, romaine's even fucking good. Romaine is tight. And it's really got like a lot of...

I love romaine. I love a spring mix. This is great, man. I like iceberg. The older I get, the more I like it. Fucking church of a sandwich with it. I said I don't like iceberg. No, I don't like iceberg.

I do. Do you like iceberg? No. I do. There's just iceberg? No. I do. There's just nothing to me. Let me just set a scenario for you, all right? Paint a picture. All right?

I've got a fucking, I've just got a big bunch of ham cubes. You're not going to like this. I've got a big bunch of ham cubes. I've got a fistful. I'm already here. I've got a fistful of some bullshit shredded cheese. Dinner. Dinner.

Oh, you're making a wedge? I'm making a wedge dressing. And I just toss that in a bowl. Oh, you're talking about like the eighth grade salad bar kind of salad. Yeah, exactly. I know what you mean. Okay, but what does that mean? Better with romaine. No, there's something appealing.

A little more ranch on there? But there's like... I'm the oldest person in this room I'm like I just snotted I was laughing so hard at these park ranch noises the ranch hit man mine sputters more there it is

that's what mine sounds like about that much ranch you can like. About that much ranch. You can eat anything with that much ranch. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I can eat a fucking shoe with that much ranch. And then the crouton swimmer. Those aren't good.

Like a crappy taco salad. Like a shitty salad. My issue, though, is that it's always wet. Yeah, it's wet. Iceberg's always fucking wet. It's just nothing. It's just a texture. It's a vehicle for croutons.

Yeah, but give me romaine. Sure. This isn't my pick. Sorry. It's all right. I'll take romaine too. In fact, I do. As is your dominion.

As is your dominion. All of it, bro. Sure. And then, ooh, with my second pick. The wind. The vegetable of life. Asparagus. Oh, yeah.

Okay. That's a good pick. I fucking love asparagus. Yeah, I like asparagus. That's up in my rotation, heavy. I stay fucking with it. Wow. I like asparagus in the fridge back at the crib right now.

Yeah, I usually got some tips on ice. Yeah. Whenever I get it and I see that you've cooked it, I always ask for some. Yeah. You like asparagus and I see that you've cooked it, I always ask for some. You like asparagus and you don't like vegetables? I wouldn't say that I like when it's prepared well and it seems like it always is. Oh, like food? Yeah.

I know how to cook the fuck out of some asparagus. How do you make it? I got a couple different methods. Thank you for asking me. Sometimes I'll just steam it. Really? Yeah, because you just steam it and then it gets this vibrant green color.

You blanch? And it's more of a nutty flavor. It's more of a nutty, bright flavor. Yeah, you blanch it. What is blanching? Got to ice bath it, baby. Keep it green. You throw it in the hot water for a minute

and then you take it out, ice bath it so it stops cooking immediately. Oh, all right. It's crispy still. It doesn't get soggy. Oh, okay. And then sometimes i'll uh heat that oven up and i'll roast it yes and you just drizzle it you take that uh the evo

and just go wobble wobble wobble yeah that's how i do it wobble wobble wobble wobble you just wobble some fucking olive oil on it wobble wobble wobble a little bit of kosher salt a little kosher salt and then you get the pepper grinder black pepper is so good when it's fresh. Oh, it's so good. I'll throw that in the oven for 18 to 22 minutes. After steaming? No, no.

And that comes out. Some of it's a little roasted, you know. A little charred. It's got a little mellow flavor to it. It's delicious. Sometimes, if I'm in the fucking mood, only if I'm in the fucking mood, there'll be like a mellow flavor to it. It's delicious. Sometimes, if I'm in the fucking mood. Only. Only if I'm in the fucking mood. Yeah, yeah. There'll be like a sprinkling

of shredded almond on it. Whoa! Oh, okay. I've heard of that for other foods, but not for asparagus. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Is that the plural? I don't actually know that. Oh, yeah. Oh! What about like a sauce? Like putting a sauce on top? Like a hollandaise. Ooh.

I grew up eating that. I do like a hollandaise. Ooh, I grew up eating that. I do like a hollandaise on some asparagus. Ooh, it's good. But this, okay. Hollandaise. Oh my God. Great minds. Does it make your piss smell bad though?

Yes, I love it. You like your piss smell? It makes your piss. I love it. Like chlorine bad. It doesn't smell like shit. It doesn't smell bad. It just smells different.

I've never noticed. I love it. It's strong. Not everybody has it. Yeah, I've never actually noticed. I probably haven't eaten enough. I have it. I have it. You don't smell bad. It just smells different. I've never noticed. I love it. It's strong. Not everybody has it. Yeah, I've never actually noticed. I probably haven't eaten enough. I haven't. I haven't.

You don't have to eat much, baby. I've eaten enough. It's just a strong. Okay. Your pee smells like asparagus and it's cool. It's awesome. It's just a weird thing your body does. Why does my piss smell like that?

Pee smells gross. I mean, maybe your piss does. Are you saying that yours doesn't? Guys, is this where you find out you guys are just the anomalies and I'm the normal your piss does. Are you saying that yours doesn't? Guys, is this where you find out you guys are just the anomalies and I'm the normal one? Yeah. I don't think that's... Maybe. My pee smells great.

Especially when I eat asparagus. Here's what I'll say. Asparagus, when done right, is amazing. I love it. I've had it done badly so many times that I'm a little turned off to it entirely. I won't fuck with other people's asparagus that often unless I love it. I don't get it at restaurants. No, I won't either. I don't asparagus that often unless I love or trust them. I don't get it at restaurants. No, I won't either.

I don't want to get it. Unless it's like a great restaurant. It's a really good restaurant. You know where I'll get asparagus is at a place that fucks up seafood in a good way. Yeah, usually because then I'm like, this person knows how to cook something as delicate as a fish. I trust them with asparagus. But I wouldn't get asparagus at Outback.

No. No. It's always so overcooked. It's so new. What about that big, thick asparagus? Don't you love that? No. I love it. The tinier, the better.

I love that meaty asparagus. It's like eating a baby arm. Here's the other thing. No one breaks it off at all. You guys can see. Oh, you know about that? Yeah. You guys know about this?

No. I got it. How to figure out where to cut the stem? So a lot of people cut the stems with asparagus. You go ahead. You tell them. Oh, it's okay. I don't know. It's your podcast. this no how to figure out where to like cut a lot of people like cut the stems with asparagus you go ahead you tell them oh it's okay i don't know it's your podcast you just to know where it is shut up here's what you do you just turned into one of the jerky boys for a second yo what was the voice they did you're fucking kick your dog okay anyway you're fucking you

take your hands and you just let it snap and that's where it's supposed to go yep and then the part where it snapped throw away away the butter and eat the top. That's right. I just always cut it kind of short because I think it's more decadent that way. Don't. You just have a ton of chips. You're just flexing on how much you throw away. But then you're eating like a.

No, actually, I cut probably about the middle. Realistically. The middle? Probably about the middle. It's probably more than you need to. You might be losing some asparagus. It has a natural breaking point. It tells you.

I think it's usually like two inches. You can't just eat the whole thing? You can, but it's woody. It's woody. It's not good? It's stringy. Down at the bottom? Okay.

Yeah, the bottom is tough. Stringy. Not in like a Sean Jordan way. What, tough? Yeah. Sure. Tough juice. Meowth, time for your second pick.

Oh, shit. It is? Yeah. That's my mistake. Already? It's only been an hour. That's my mistake. Okay.

I'm going for another one that I put in everything, and I'm pretty sure it's a vegetable, and that is garlic. Yeah. Damn it. Fuck. Sorry. Sorry. I got to go on to garlic. I put them in fucking everything, if I'm being realistic.

I eat them the most. You know what's crazy? I cook a lot, and I don't ever buy garlic. What? But is it always there? We have it. No, Solomon uses it, so we have some, but we have a garlic press, too, I think. I don't know.

It just never has worked its way into my cooking. Bring some bulbs home because it stays good forever. Just keep it in a brown plastic bag or brown paper bag. And if it ever starts going bad, just roast those heads off, baby. Smear them on some toast. Oh, I could barbecue garlic. Dude, yeah. You could do anything with garlic.

You could barbecue elephant garlic. You can pickle garlic. You can huge, dude. Big-ass garlic. Really? Yeah, McMinnville has an elephant garlic festival. Take your nuts. Yeah. You can huge garlic. Big ass garlic. Really? Yeah, McMinnville has an elephant garlic festival. Take your nuts. Yeah, that's like in central California?

Or Oregon. Oh, shit. Yeah. I want to go to that one. I think it's McMinnville. It's right outside of Portland towards the Kist. Right over there. Oh, on the way to the fucking Kennedy.

Hell always. On 26. On the highway. Late summer. Dude, I feel like garlic makes every dish better, genuinely. I'm hard-pressed to think of a single savory thing that wouldn't benefit from some garlic. I love garlic. I fucking love it.

I absolutely love it. Even Sean, you like garlic? Well, that's not an even. That seems like a savory thing. I don't think people think of it as a vegetable like that, though. It is not a vegetable. It's a vegetable. It is.

But onions are. It is. I think people think of it as a seasoning more than they think of it as a vegetable. I don't know. I'll eat whole cloves, too. Sometimes you get like a pizza that has whole garlic cloves. Yeah. They're kind of cooked down and they're almost buttery.

Oh, they're so good. They look like cheese, but they're not. That's how it always gets me. But then I'm like, oh, this is still dope. Holy shit. My stepdad, the chef, used to like cut slits into steak and put like garlic cloves like into the meat so it would cook like that. I don't even eat meat and that sounds amazing.

It's so good. You should do even eat meat and that sounds amazing. You should do it in some cauliflower medallions. Truly, I will. You said you both use garlic presses? Yeah. No, I said we have one. I don't have any easy. I use a garlic press, sure.

You do? Yeah. I thought that was like a retired 90s tool. No, I mean, there's certain things you want to put it in. It's an easier way.

If you need to mince garlic, it's an easier way to do it. Yeah, it seems like easier than that. I can microplane, maybe. I don't like going on Goodfell an easier way to do it. Yeah, it doesn't say it seems like easier than that. I do microplane, maybe. Because I don't like going on Goodfellas and like... You don't microplane it? Oh, yeah, like with the razor blade

and slice it thin so it melts down. How do you do it? Microplane? The thin, long grater that's like super sharp. Oh, I'm afraid of it. I'll just use the garlic press. I'm going to get you one. It changes your life, dude.

You do it with cheese. You do it with nuts. You do it with garlic. Oh, it's like 10 seconds. You're done. Yeah, I mean, I'll do it. Or you guys know you smash

with the peel on and that's how you get the peel off. Yeah. And if you get your knife wet and your hands wet, it won't stick to shit. You do the flat side

of the knife blade right on the garlic. That's a trick I know. Yeah. I've seen people do that but I don't, like I said, I'm going to start

getting into the garlic game a little bit. It's great. Do get a designated garlic cutting board I will say though because that into the garlic game. It's great. Do get a designated garlic cutting board, I will say, though. Because that shit stains flavor-wise. Oh, sure. You don't want some garlic-flavored strawberries later.

I mean, I'll try. This is not funny anymore. I'm just actually talking about garlic. No, it doesn't have to be. This is informative. This podcast has never been funny. Yeah, I don't say funny things most of the time. See?

You just said it again. Some people say you can put garlic in your vagina what to help a yeast infection really what'd you say it's good okay listen i've tried it it's good for fungus is all i'm gonna say it's good for fungus it's true really it's true yeah you like if you can't afford your vagina whole clove yeah yeah did it work with like the pap papery lady from Titanic skin on it? Did it work? I don't think so.

It did hurt though. It was tough. It seemed like it was killed. And I was really self-conscious of the way my vagina smelled for like a month. Yeah, it's because it smelled like a pizzeria. I'll be honest. This is so graphic, but hey, it's me. If you eat too much garlic, your pussy smells like garlic.

Oh, yeah. For a while. You hear that, future wife listening? It's true. If you want to lock me down, get some garlic. Is that enjoyable from the fucking eat-or-out perspective? I don't know. Whatever.

It's all pretty cool, man. Are you like, yum, yum, pizza tasting. Yeah, it's all great. It never tastes like, it's It never tastes like It's never been I've never had an issue Where I'm like Oh god Seriously

No your pussy tastes so gross Okay That actually is a photocopier When you're a kid People talk about They're like Oh I couldn't It was just a word

And you're like No it's all When it's on it's on It's all great Exactly You guys should say that more Because I feel like I still know a lot of women

That are self conscious about this Oh ladies Serious Yeah Don't I don't know what to say I should say that more because I feel like I still know a lot of women that are self-conscious about this. Oh, ladies. Oh, serious. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what to say. Don't be self-conscious. But you can.

It's hard not to. It does taste great. Last filling. When you're pleasuring your partner. Tastes great. Last filling. Well, seriously, the point of it is it's not – I've never once been thinking about the taste. I've been thinking about what I'm doing.

David's freaking out. I'm real turned on. That was his dick hating his jeans. I just knock everything off the table. David's boner built and then destroyed a chandelier. I'm just rocking out Miel and David over here. I'm soaked through this couch. I can't move.

It's glued. That's how I smell like garlic over there. Gotta get a sump pump up here. I was just trying to low-key bring that up to explain myself. My feet are wet. What a great moral story. Sorry. I don't know how we got here.

For people of all genders, you know, keep the mise en place clean. Yeah. You're your best, you know, keep the, keep the mise en place clean. Yeah. Do your best, you know. There's like a, there's a hygiene thing. Don't eat your meatloaf. But at the same time,

you know, I've come back from a hike and not been able to contain my animalistic desires. Yeah, it happens. And gone right back down into the crevasse.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you want it, you want it to have been on parade all day. Exactly. When it's fucking on,

it's on. When it's on, it's on. Yeah. When it's on, it's on. When it's on, it's on. Let me smell where you walked today. Ladies, do not. I've been, I've been, I've had to talk myself into, not in like a creepy way, but a girl,

she's like, no, it's gross. And I'm like, it's not gross. No, I'm sure, it's probably gross. I'm like, it's not gross. Let me give you an orgasm, you fool. Okay, get off. I'm down here handing him out. Let me give you an orgasm, you fool. Okay, get off. I'm down here handing them out. Let me give you an orgasm, you fool.

The Uruk-hai. I just feel like they'd be good at eating pussy. The Uruk-hai? The Uruk-hai. Look at their teeth. They'd be horrible at it. Terrifying. I feel like they'd really go for it.

They're the big orcs. They start eating you. The Anthony Kiedis-ass ones? They look like they would push the ankles to the sky and just go to town. They would start chewing and then slowly you're just being eaten. They're monsters, but they're not just going to eat everything. Lady Uruk-Hais are getting eaten out. There are no Lady Uruk-Hais.

Oh, that's right. They're crossbeads. They're all made. I forgot. They're all men. They're like mules. Saruman makes them. So Uruk-Hai are eaten ass.

And ass alone, baby. So garlic, them. So Uruk-hai are eating ass. An asshole, baby. So garlic, thanks. Garlic, yeah, delicious. Eating ass. David, tell me your second pick. Oh, my second pick is Brussels sprouts. Damn it, fuck! Oh, come on!

I love them. I think I've made them several times when you guys have been over. Yeah, they're good. I think I made you guys my bacon wrap to think of barbecuing for you. Now this is going to sound stupid. Since I was a kid, man, I just, the texture is just right. Love that woody flavor. It soaks up,

it soaks up flavors so well. I like putting a little bit of curry on my Brussels sprouts. Yum! A little curry powder, but like, I just, it's one of those things that like, I've done that for dinner,

just straight up like, I don't want to make anything. I have this like half a bag of Brussels sprouts left. I'll just fucking grill them all up and that's just my dinner. You'll like, I don't want to make anything. I have this like half a bag of Brussels sprouts left. I'll just fucking grill them all up. She eats the whole bag. That's what she does. Yeah, and it's like, since I was a kid, since I was a kid, I've always like.

Wow, even as a kid you were into them. Yeah, I was so funny because I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day. And I was like, oh, I got to go. I got to reheat these Brussels sprouts. She was like, you always, you always liked them. I was like, don't you fucking tell me what to do. So you never had them mushed, boiled to hell, whole situation.

No, my mom was a good cook. Brussels sprouts had the fucking craziest propaganda routine against them when we were kids. I remember thinking it was weird as a kid for liking them. Ew, brussel sprouts. That and lima beans. Oh, yeah. Which, by the way, have never been served. That was a weird quicks Ew, Brussels sprouts. That and lima beans. Oh, yeah. Which, by the way, I've never been served.

That was a weird quicksand of food. I love a lima bean. But quicksand, that's so funny. That's the other thing. Yeah, Brussels sprouts, lima beans, and quicksand. Haven't seen it once. It's not real. Quicksand?

I mean, it's real, but it's not. You barely. It's rare. You barely. It happens to elephants, I feel like. But Brussels sprouts are fucking bomb. They're so good. I remember the first time as an adult.

It was at the Village Idiot here in LA, the first time I lived in LA. Weho. And people were, weho. Weho. And people were like, you should get the Brussels sprouts there. I was like, all right. Fucking idiot. You're right.

Somebody got them and I tried them. I was like, what the fuck is this? Oh, they're so good. It was delicious. I love it when you roast them just right so the skin gets crispy on the outside

they almost look burnt yeah when they almost exactly in the middle like yellowing oh so good you know what's good on a Brussels sprouts

so you get the bacon everything you get the bacon and then but like if there's a like a balsamic vinaigrette dude I'm

yes glaze balsamic glaze not too much it's's like a balsamic vinaigrette. Dude, a thick glaze. 100%. Balsamic glaze. Not too much. It's just like a. Just a whoosh. Right over the biscuit.

Just a. A warm breath. Just a Cheeto fart in space. A queef. That's what my queef sounds like. Queef Latifah. Queef Latifah. Just in a balsamic vinaigrette.

Like you were traveling abroad in Europe. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you were in. You were in. Budapest. You were in Budapest. You were in Hungary.

You were in Budapest. I'm hungry in Budapest. Budapest. You had rented a scooter and you were scooting all around. And like you got lost that day. This was pre-sale. Or this was like right early cell phones and stuff. And you got lost in Budapest.

And like you were hungry. And you ended up at this bar and there was a girl at that bar, right? And it was just the two of you there. You have no idea if she spoke English or anything like that. You went and sat down at the bar. You looked tired and in her broken English, she was just like, you look tired. So sorry to the people of Budapest. She grew up in a bad neighborhood in New Jersey.

She was in Budapest. She was drunk off that Palinka. She seemed to know the bartender better. She called him over and she said something in a language you didn't understand. And then all of a sudden there were two glasses in front of you. Hungarian probably. Probably some sort of Hungarian liquor. Palinka. Those glasses kept coming.

Some Hungarian delights came out of the kitchen, like some kasha, some papikash, whatever it is. And you were eating and drinking and eating and drinking, and it was one of the most magical nights of your life. And the next day, you know, the next day. You tried Brussels sprouts. Well, the next day, you know, the next day. You tried Brussels sprouts. Well, the next day, you know, you wake up. She's gone, you know.

You're alone and hungry. But you've charged, you know, you've charged your phone. You know where you're at. And you look through it. And on your phone, there is a picture of the two of you from the night before. It's the only evidence that that had even happened. And in the back of the picture, if you

zoom all the way in, there's a bottle of balsamic vinegar. Just that much vinegar. Man, I feel like you were out in the woods for a minute and then you found your way back home. It's not quite the apple butter. No, you so-eat-it.

No, you did. You so-eat-it. You got it down. You so-eat-it. You so-eat-it. You got it down. You landed the plane. You landed that plane. A couple casualties, though. Radagies. Whatever, Radagies.

No, they're not all going to make it. It was Con Air, man. Fucking, Fashemi had to die. I love you guys. I like that image. I love you, too. Thank you. It was perfect.

I loved that. It was perfect. Because that is what it is. Any more and then that's all you taste. Yeah, it's too much. Yeah. It's too much. It can take over a bowl real fast. I have a... May I may i share yeah what i like to do to my brussels sprouts because i think

it might blow you away okay roast them for 25 25 minutes all cut side down they get fucking almost black dark you do cut side down cut side down only okay cool i want them to be brown as hell and then right before they're done i mix together equal parts stone ground mustard and maple syrup. Whisk it. Maple syrup. Ready? They come out of the oven. How hard do you have to whisk it?

Not hard. A gentle whisk. A light whisk. You just kind of whisk the fuck out of it. Whisk the fuck out of it. You don't want to do it too hard. You don't want to whip the fuck out of it. Oh, you don't want to go,

whip the fuck out of it! No, you don't want to do that. You just kind of want to whisk the fuck out of it. A nice little whisk Oh, you don't want to go, whip the fuck out of it. No, you don't want to do that. You just kind of want to whisk the fuck out of it. A nice little whisk. All right, all right. And then while they're still in the pan, still hot, pour that shit over. Toss, toss, toss back in the oven for two seconds. Whoa.

It absorbs them all. And then you pull it out and now you're done. And you have the best tasting treat in the whole fucking world. Sounds so good. It is so good. And you have that shit in your fridge already. It's not going to buy shit for it. Yeah, Sean.

I don't have a lot of syrup. It ain't. What? I don't really have syrup. You don't drink maple syrup? You drink maple syrup? Yeah, you don't. What?

You thought you were going to confidence you were going to do that. You're the weird one. I wish you guys, I wish everyone could have seen Ian's face just now. Just picture it. You got it right. You drink maple syrup? Not by itself, but in stuff.

In stuff. Like what? Movies? Yeah, like in a little smooth. Okay. And we mix it with some peanut butter on top of a waffle. Oh, yeah.

Well, that's not drinking it. That's not drinking it. You made it sound- It's still a liquid. I don't know. You made it sound like you were taking shots out the bottle like a fucking stepdad.

I used to do that. Like a stepdad for sure, though. I have no problem with that, I will say. That sounds good to me. I just don't ever buy syrup. I do. I would do that. Like a stepdad for sure, though. I have no problem with that, I will say. That sounds good to me. I just don't ever buy syrup. I'm sorry. And I mean, when I do, this is more blasphemy. When I do, the syrup that I think about that I do like

is Mrs. Butterworth's. There is a sweet spot for Mrs. Butterworth. That's what I like. A sweet spot. We'll be right back. Yeah. This episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by schedule 35 now microdosing is an absolute game changer i have never heard a bad word about it and like we said this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by schedule 35 our partner in getting things done.

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all right i wish i did i wish i did um brussels sprouts i'm gonna pick uh spreads. I'm going to pick cucumbers. Yeah. I love a cuke. Technically a fruit. Don't know if we want to go down that way. Fact check me.

I was picking it because it can turn into pickles and I swear it's a vegetable because I checked today. But it's just on the internet. It has the seeds inside of it. Cucumber is a fruit, you motherfucker. But I don today but it's just on the internet. I think it has the seeds inside of it. Oh, cucumber is a fruit, you motherfucker. But I don't know how strict we want to be. I'll allow it, totally.

If it's a fruit. According to thefreerangelife.com If it's a fruit, I think to take it away from you is like taking a coin away from someone that has

five coins. I don't want to do this to you. Listen, I'm 37. No. I've heard it since you turned. That's all you do this to you. Listen, I'm 37. No. I've heard it since you turned. That's all you've been talking about. Listen, ever since I've been 37 five days ago. Oh my god, it's a birthday!

According to science, the cucumber is a fruit. According to cooks, the cucumber is a vegetable. Right, so whose rules are we playing by? Does it really matter? No. I think you should get it. Cucumbers are delicious. That's what it says. I don't know, man. We don't have to. Let's not. No, I'm fine with says. I don't know, man. We don't have to.

Let's not. No, I'm fine with it. I think you can take it. Yeah. All right. If only because you actually want to take pickles as a vegetable. Yeah, go ahead and take Q's. Q's are fine.

I'm going to get, by the way, Cy won in a landslide. We just have to address that. But I feel like I ain't winning this. I'm not going to win this here draft. This is just for me. Children will love you. The under 15s, you will win over with these vegetables. More for the daddy who

took the cucumbers. I don't mean because of your humor. I mean because of the vegetables you're picking. Sure. No, I got it. No, no, no. He understands. He has the palate of a child is what you're saying. Yeah, but so does my dad. A lot of great men do. That's okay.. No, I got it. No, no, no. He understands. He has the palate of a child is what you're saying. Yeah, but so does my dad. A lot of great men do. That's okay.

All right. I appreciate it. She said you're a great man. Cucumbers. Obviously. Cukes. They brighten up a salad. Yeah.

You know? Then I'm getting into salads these days. Look at you. Look at you. You can see these muscles growing over here. A little edible canteen

of cucumber. You know, they're full of here. A little edible canteen. A cucumber. You know, they're full of water. I like them in water. In water. Cucumber water is great. I can handle some cucumber water. Cucumber lime is my favorite Gatorade.

That's a great Gatorade. Now, if you guys, they turn into pickles also. Sure, yeah, they do that. Which I will remind you is also a drawback because not only can they turn into a dill pickle, but they can also turn into the greatest betrayal in all of cuisine. You hate them. The sweet pickle. You hate them. Fuck a sweet pickle. He hates them so much.

Do you count bread and butter as a sweet pickle? Yes. Oh, then we are enemies. We were already enemies. I can't go. If I make a fish sandwich, I'll put bread and butter pickles on them. I love it. I like the... To be fair. I can't go... If I make a fish sandwich, I'll put bread and butter pickles on them. I love...

I'll make you guys fish sandwiches. I love a sweet pickle. I love a hot pickle. Not if you put a fucking bread and butter pickle on there, you're not gonna make me a fish sandwich. I won't eat it. Come on. Just one in there.

Not for you or anybody, David. Just one in there. You might make it. Just one on the top. We'll see. Maybe we'll sneak it in. You like sweet pickles too, Sean? I love them.

I love pickles. I love all pickles. Just quick interjection. This guy, Brandon Knott, did a Instagram of all of us on the This Is Us poster. I just thought I was going to say, yeah, it's really good. And, Miel, you're on there. What? Oh, my God.

I feel so blessed. No, I haven't. I've not been on the gram. I feel blessed. Thanks, Brandon. Wow. I feel so included've not been on the gram I feel blessed Thanks, Brandon I feel so included Shane's on there, Zacula's on there Hell yeah, is that Malloy? Yeah

It's too bad And you know who's right in the middle? The kingpin You're on the dad's head There they are Hey, congrats, guys. Fan art. You know, fun stuff.

Pickles. We got a skateboard made for us. All three of us on a fucking skateboard, bro. Wow. That's kind of life we're living. It's like the Last Supper. How are you going to skate on that? I feel too bad.

That shan't be getting skated on. No, that's a wall. Neither will the board that I currently skate on be being skated on, as I haven't skated in months. And I need to rectify that. And I feel like if the Patreon takes off, I can skateboard for a couple hours every day, work out, eat my fair share of pickles. Oh, God.

Okay, what about picklebacks? Cucumbers. Oh, I fuck with a pickleback. Love a pickleback. Yeah, yeah. Fuck with a pickleback. I don't really drink, but when I do. It's dangerous because it's like a lime with tequila.

Shouldn't make you think that you're not drinking. I was going to try to rap to that. Or chicken ramen juice. Is that another one of Bison's stuff? It's a dangerous beat. Hit you with no delay, so what you saying, yo? Silly with my nah, Millie. What's a dilly, yo?

When I get on the mic, I guess I do my duty, yo. Wall up in the club like we while in the studio. Picklebacks. Picklebacks. Also dangerous. They are dangerous. Nothing should make you forget you just took a shot of whiskey Other than two

Other than the whiskey I guess No I got I got an argument With my mom about this Because she was saying Like why don't you just have You know

If you don't like the taste of it Just have like a A sweet drink Or something like that I'm like well I like getting drunk I'm sorry I don't like saying that

Wait this was your mom Convincing you to drink whiskey Well she's saying like Why can't you just have Like one or something? And I was like, I don't know. If you have a gross drink, at least it's gross. She loves her bi.

You know? Also. I said she loves her bi. She wants him to have a nice drink. She loves her bi. She wants him to grow up being an old. Her simple, simple bi. Cucumber?

Yeah, cucumber. It's a cucumbersome pick. I love it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Corn? Damn it! I knew it. I knew that.

I was a little more confident than I thought. You want me to put the question mark on that too? No, I didn't. Okay. I thought, I'm wondering if I'm going to get a great pick. No, it's a great pick. Because these aren't in like, they're not in-depth picks, you know, like. I think, okay, I don't know if corn's a vegetable.

I don't think it is. But. No, I just. You just. Literally. I think it's fine. I just looked it up because I was going to pick it next. Corn seed is actually a vegetable, a grain, and a fruit.

What? Corn seed is a vegetable because it is harvested for eating. Corn seed is a grain because it is a dry seed of a grass species. Okay, maybe that... So did I blow it? No, I think you get it. I just think interesting fodder. Okay.

Yeah, honestly, I just thought it was a vegetable. Corn, baby. Corn is not a vegetable, according to Mark's Daily Apple, but I don't know if that's a... Mark's? See, the health line says it is. I think it's a grass. It's just a really big grass. It's a cereal.

It's just so fitting that you've picked potatoes, pickles, and corn. I'm just... You're like making a TV dinner. I'm fine with it being a vegetable. Yeah, you can have it, I think. I'm sure the internet's gonna go ahead and just

give it to me. I do want to hear, though, describe the ways... Like, give it to me in a bad way. Like, you know, you cheated. No, who cares? I'll get a bunch of you cheated. I chose vegetables. Corn is corn.

Corn is a vegetable. Describe the ways you like it. Corn is corn. I love corn on the cob. I like cream corn. I'm one of those weird kids who likes cream corn. God, you like cream corn? I do like cream corn.

I like cream corn, too. God, that food that looks exactly like if you barfed it back out. Yeah, I can't do cream corn. It tastes good. It does taste so good. Cream corn tastes like white poverty. I mean, we're poor, man. We're poor.

We're hella poor. I like cream corn. I hate it. I like corn on the cob. I just like corn. I mean, cream corn. I like corn meal. I'll just get canned corn.

Corn's fucking suck, though. Palenta? Corn syrup? Yeah, big corn. I'm going to chew,'ll just get canned corn. Corn's fucking suck, though. Palenta. Corn syrup. Yeah, big corn. I'm going to chew, motherfuckers. Yo, corn's in my- A and Z. The anti-big corn syrup podcast.

Fuck corn syrup, bro. All the way down, bro. Fuck it. I don't give a shit. Do you guys know that corn is in like 90% of shit at the grocery store? Yes, I do know that. Entirely because it's so subsidized. Yes.

And mostly because it's used to feed cow. That's why I said fuck big corn two minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. I don't know why. We're not fighting. It's even like the glaze on vegetables.

Like that's corn based. Really? Everything's fucking corn. It's a fucking trap, dude. Yeah. And now we're getting too much corn. Guess what? They made that marbling system to grade meat.

It gets marbled from eating corn. Oh. They're just feeding themselves, man. It's all lobbying. But corn does taste good, though, so I can't be that mad. Big Sugar's fucked up, too, if you look into it. Anyway. Big Sugar's a nice guy. He is. Oh, we're talking about Big Sugar.

Oh, you're talking about Big Shug. I'm talking about Big Sugar. You're talking about Big Shug. Big Shug's a good dude. He's a good dude. What about like corn pudding? What? Like corn pudding. I thinkug's a good dude. He's a good dude. What about like corn pudding? What? Like corn pudding. I think that's an island food.

No. No, that's like a southern thing. Corn pudding. I like polenta. Is that similar? Polenta's good as hell. I like corn bread. Oh my God, corn nuts.

I like corn nuts. I like corn nuts. Popcorn. Popcorn I like. I don't really like corn other than those things. Really? Yeah. I don't like corn on the cob. Have you ever had a lote?

I've had a lote. You still don't like it? Nah, I don't like corn on the cob. Oh, brother. Love corn on the cob. Where art thou lost? Get it at the fair. Get some of that weird fair dust on it, whatever that is. Hush puppies.

Hush puppies, sure, yeah. I like hush puppies. I like stuff they make with corn. Cornmeal crusted other things. Yeah. I just don't like a corn. I do like it cornmeal deep fried when stuff they make with corn. Cornmeal crusted other things. Yeah. I just don't like a corn. I do like it cornmeal deep fried when people deep fry with cornmeal. Sure.

Like a fish. You guys ever, I already know the answer is no. I'll finish my sentence. You ever eat a can of corn for dinner? No. Yes. Thank you. Yes.

Thank you, Sean. A bunch. It is good. Add a little salt. I just put a ton of pepper on it. Yum. I don't buy any canned. I don't really, I don't eat a lot of canned food.

That's probably good for you. That's probably a good choice. I don't even know why. I just never, I think pepper on it. I don't buy any canned. I don't really, I don't eat a lot of canned food. That's probably good for you. That's probably a good choice. I don't even know why. I just never, I think I hated it so much. I don't like canned food. I mostly fuck with only corn and beans, I will say. Unless it's Boyardee, you can show miss me. All right?

I do like the show. Show miss me. Yep. I eat so many, so much canned food. It's disgusting. Still. Still? Yeah. I mean, I'll eat some tuna fish every now and again. I eat so many, so much canned food. It's disgusting. Still. Still? Yeah.

I mean, I'll eat some tuna fish every now and again. I have a wretched diet. Every now and again, I'll get some sardines or something, but yeah, I don't really. I'm into it. And Vienna sausages. And somebody had my back on that in the slack. Join the slack. David, it is time for your also corn rhymes with porn.

That's funny. David, it's time for your third pick. I can't believe. Porn on the cob. Also, you guys are seeing how small my range of how I cook these vegetables are. Yeah. But I'm surprised nobody's taking it yet. Eggplant.

Oh, I was going to take eggplant, but I thought I could get it late. Yeah. I was wrong. I believe it's also a fruit. Eggplant is. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, though. Really? We're not going by those rules, because who wants to be that guy? I'll tell you this believe it's also a fruit. Eggplant is a fruit. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, though. Really?

We're not going by those rules because who wants to be that guy? I'll tell you this. It's a plant. That's for sure. Is it a fruit or something different? It's a nightshade. Oh, and then... It's a fruit?

It's a fruit? It's a fruit. Oh, well, can I... It's pretty clearly a fruit. You did lettuce. Can I still do spinach? Is that different or not? No, that's different.

Yeah. Oh, spinach. I'd put that shit in. Real quick on eggplants. I'd be okay if you want to take eggplant. No, no, no. I'll take it. I'll do spinach. Is that different or not? No, that's different. Yeah. Oh, spinach. I put that shit in. Real quick on eggplants. I'm okay if you want to take eggplant. No, no, no. I'll take it. I'll take spinach.

I'm cool with eggplants being in there. I feel like, come on. If it's vegetable, I'm all right. If you take eggplant, that means the other nightshade is up for picks. And I'm not going to pick because it's my least favorite food. Same. The other one? Yeah.

Can we just say it now? Are you going to take it? I don't even know what you're talking about. I highly doubt I'm saying. Because it's my least favorite food. Same. The other one? Yeah. Can we just say it now? Are you going to take it? I don't even know what you're talking about. I highly doubt I was going to take it. I don't know what you're talking about. We'll say it. We'll wait. I can't possibly.

You can take the aubergine. All right, you let me take it? Yeah, aubergine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Brits call it the aubergine. We gave him corn and cucumbers. It's a proper aubergine. Safe, isn't it, bro?

Proper. They serve the universities. Mental, bro. It's another one of those things safe, isn't it, bro? They serve the university as mental, bro. It's another one of those things. I use like a meat substitute. Just make it a medallion. Why don't you invite me over for dinner? I want to eat these things.

I don't know. I hit the Weber hard. What's the Weber? My little grill I'm frying. I got a little charcoal grill, and I'm on that motherfucker. Oh, God. It sounds so good. What do you put on it?

I usually do olive oil. Oh, and then a little paprika and a little cayenne. Ooh, a little paprika. Do you salt it first? Do you salt it? Yeah, I use kosher salt on everything, so I don't have to use too much of it. But you know, like you salt eggplant, and then it drips, and then you throw that away? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You do that whole thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, it depends on how much time I have. drips and then you like throw that away yeah yeah you do that whole thing yeah yeah well no it depends on how much time i have i'm usually i'm usually just a foil boat put it on the grill kind of guy oh nice and simple for almost everything i cook stuff all the same way and just let the texture be different you know what i'm saying you let the vegetables speak for themselves i mean yeah man i gotta cook yeah it makes you want wanna cook, right? You should cook. I just have such a wretched diet.

Just come hang out with me in the kitchen. I'll show you a thing or two. Yeah, he's up there whipping stuff up. I know, I see it on Instagram. He did that vegetable pasta. I'm not old enough for that. Yeah, man. Here's the thing about eggplant.

Noodles. When it's done well, it is so fucking good. But when it's done badly, oh my god. It could be really bad. I don't order it out. And it's hard because it's so big. It doesn't keep that well after you initially slice into it, so that's why I don't buy it.

Because if I'm going to buy it, I've got to make it all. Yeah. I've been toying around with the idea of deep frying. Dude, I will say the best eggplant I've ever had in my life was deep fried. Really? Fuck, I'm going to eggplant parmesan. Yeah, I mean, I should probably do that.

I'll make a sommelier. I'm good at deep frying. Yeah. This is the weirdest, like, bougiest shout out I could ever do. But in case you ever were in Paris. Pierce Brosnan. Just in case. Just in case you're ever in Paris.

No, I'm in Paris. If you ever go to Paris. All the time. There's this falafel shop in Le Marais. I don't know how to say it. Le Marais. Le Marais. Well, I'm in Paris. If you ever go to Paris. All the time. There's this falafel shop in Le Marais. I don't know how to say it. Le Marais. Le Marais.

Well, I'm not allowed in that neighborhood anymore. Oh, David can't go to Le Marais. You have to put on your assumed identity. Pierre Zoutelot de l'Aimant Ponton. Oh, that's you, dude?

De l'Aimant Ponton. I don't need to. You look so different with the beret. It translates to big scissors in French. The terror of the third arrondissement. David Bourne.

La patoudon de Félèvon. Oh, I thought you were speaking French until you got to au gratin. I was like, Sean picked up a couple. Parlez-vous was something. What is that? Do you speak? Parlez-vous. I mean, parlez-vous was something. What is that? Do you speak? Do you speak? Yeah.

Parlez-vous, du gratin. The nightmare specter of Musée d'Orsay, David Borden. I don't know what that means, but I like it. You're haunting the museum with all the, like, monets in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The nightmare specter. But there's this fucking old falafel shop in the, like, old Jewish neighborhood. I think it's called.

Yes, guys. Oh, man. I really thought that was tequila when you first started saying that. Now, why did you do that? Are you Jewish or something? A hundred percent. Bar mitzvah and everything. Shit.

It's this falafel spot. And they have the best falafel you will ever have in your fucking life. Huge line. You don't know me. It's all inherently vegan. And the fucking eggplant they put in there. Really? Truly a revelation.

I thought I hated eggplant until I had it from there. Damn. I think they just fry it. I don't know. We got to get that recipe. Somebody's got to get that recipe. We need to take a red eye there right now. I actually honestly would.

Who better than the specter terror of the Musée d'Orsay? I'm the Frenchman. Yeah. They call me Leon. Leon. I'm a professional. We can take all four first class seats on a Southwest flight to Paris. To Southwest flight to Paris? I highly doubt it.

If you got a gun, they'll fly anywhere. Jesus, guys. That's hilarious. Oh my God, that made me laugh so hard. He just said it. He goes, if's hilarious. Oh, my God. That made me laugh so hard. He just said it. He goes, if you got a gun, they do. I was at a party one time, and this kid, I lost one of my shoes. And I was like, man, someone took my shoes.

What the fuck were you doing? You know how it goes. Yeah, I do. So someone took one of my shoes, and he goes, you know what you need? You need a gun. Because if you had a gun, nobody would take your shoes. And I'm like, you're right. You gave a nobody would take your shoes and I'm like you're right. It's a really

you can't mouth a cookie situation. Or another shoe. You're right. I could have 50 shoes if I had a gun. I could just go to the other fucking room

and find my shoe where Smith put it. Eggplant they eat all the way from the Atlantic to the Pacific you know. It's like it's in Korea

China India they eat it the Middle East they eat a lot of it. It's just a real solid Those little ones? Yeah and it's like if you India they eat it the Middle East they eat a lot of it it's just a real solid those little ones yeah and it's like

if you don't want to commit to like a squash or something don't even get me started who wants to commit to a squash I'll squash it dude squash the beef squash the beef great

Miel time for your third pick broccoli chop up the broccoli I can't believe that went to the fourth I thought Sean was going gonna take it real early I was thinking about it

You know cauliflower, brussels sprouts and broccoli Are all Cruciferous Yeah Give you gas baby They're all what Cruciferous Am I saying that right

They all give you gas But they also all come from the same root vegetable Family Yeah Okay Is that crazy I'm still focused on the cruciferous thing Cruciferous

Mofca Cruciferous I think Yaxilla Like a backwards octopus Good for the listeners Cruciferous? Cruciferous I think Like a backwards octopus Good for the listeners Cruciferous makes you gassy huh? Broccoli does? Broccoli?

Brussels sprouts make you hella gassy You ever get crazy farts after Brussels sprouts? Like that ranch that Ian was putting in his salad earlier Bro you had so much broccoli earlier I can't call it But broccoli I feel like it's a classic. It's not like fancy. It's not exciting, but I always will eat it.

I love a broccoli. I don't love raw broccoli. I love raw broccoli. Can't do raw broccoli. Raw broccoli. And he owes me money. Rob's calling me Rob Rockley. Rob Rockley.

He always smokes weed. He never brings any. Rob Rockley. Rob Rockley, dude. Or Raw Diggas, the other band member. Raw broccoli. Yeah, that worked. I do like raw broccoli, but yeah, steamed is great.

If you roast it up, it's a hearty vegetable. I'm about to lose everyone that's on my team right now, but you ever steam broccoli and then just dip it in mayonnaise? Ooh. It's really good. Even the Canadian looked askance at you. They dip it in mayonnaise? Ooh. It's really good. Even the Canadian looked askance at you. They dip everything in mayonnaise. I like mayo.

I know it sounds bad, but it's good. You can't knock it until you try it. Marissa, gross? It doesn't sound good to Marissa. It's good. She's on the one turn on toast. Man, I like mayo. Not a lot.

It's not like a glob. It's a nice, like, just a whisk through. I mean, there's another vegetable that may get taken later that I do dip into mayonnaise. So you understand that there is a market here. Well, just to speak on the umbrella term of raw vegetables that you dip into things. No, not raw. It has to be steamed for mayonnaise. It's got to be steamed.

Steamed and in mayo, huh? Steamed for mayo is the only... Yes. Hot into mayo. Miel Brado is steamed for mayo. Miel Brado is steamed for mayo, coming this July. Extra, extra. It was everywhere.

99.9% white, if you can't tell, based on the can of corn and steamed broccoli and mayo. What is the.01? I don't know. Orcus. Horse. Horse. I don't know Orcus Horse

Man that was a good one I tried to do a horse on here the other day And failed miserably Let's try it again Try it again Please try it again That's good dude Not bad

How's that right? That's good Oh that's good I actually have horses And have a scar from riding horses. Sure. So possibly true. You princess.

Trying to reach out to grab the mail. It's like trail riding. It's not like jumping. Okay. Can you show us the scar yet or are you still not dressed appropriately? Last time you were here, we asked, but there was some... Wait, let me see it. You have that gnar on the...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that like... Where's my arm? No, I think they can see it. I can't see it. Yeah, the gnar thing? Here. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. see it. You have that gnar on your arm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that like... The gnar? No, I think they can see it. I can't see it. Yeah, the gnar thing? Here. Whoa.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I got a text message. It's not all. It's my mom. It's the horse. Hey, Mio.

Told you. Awesome. Hey, Mio, seriously. I only have like a couple scars. One's on my face from falling off my bed and hitting a toy fire truck when I was like three or four years old. No, like three or four years ago. Years ago. And then the other one is from middle school when we were doing this thing where we carved out like our own stamps.

Oh, yeah. The linoleum shavings. Yeah. And I just like right off the side of my hand. Oh, my God. How strong were you as a child? So strong. You don't think he was a strong boy?

I was going to say he turned into a strong man. Strong boys turn into strong strong. You don't think he was a strong boy? What was I going to say? He turned into a strong man. Strong boys turn into strong men. I am covered in scars. Wow. Yeah, I got a grip. Even I got more than I can count on my hand. Oh, I got a lot of football hand scars.

Scar David Borey, right? Oh, dude. I love that. I got a germs burn. I got all kinds of it. What's a germs burn? Man, the germs used to put out cigarettes on their fans and call them germs burns. Really?

And then me and Sam Talent one night decided we were going to get germs burns, but we were blotto. So I put the cigarette on my hand to put it out, but then I smoked it like against the skin to burn my skin. It's like a bad call. You smoked your own hand. Yeah. Now I got, that's my germs burn. And that was. That makes you a cannibal, bro. It's like a bad call, but now I got it. You smoked it on hand. Yeah, now I got, that's my germs burn. And that was. That makes you a cannibal, bro. It's really big, too. We were

drunk as hell. I got a couple. He's got one, too. He's got one, too. Same spot. I got a few on the arms, just some dumb shit. Middle school. Middle school. High school. Later. I got a big one on my foot because in Sierra Leone one time I got ringworming out there.

They just cut it off. I didn't mean to laugh. Cut it off with a knife. Shut up. Are you missing a toe? No, no, no. It was on the top of my foot. Hey, do you got blood on your dick because you fucked a corpse too? I got blood on my head and there's no remorse. That's all I'm going to say. That's all I'm going to say.

Roasted broccoli with garlic. I got blood on my hands and there's no remorse. Roasted broccoli. As a kid, when I heard that line, I was like, this dude is the most gangster rapper there has ever been. So this kid, Jesse Lee. Oh, my God. DMX said that?

Yeah. The Rough Riders are owned? Yeah. The Rough Riders. To me, he's just one of the lesser members of the Rough Riders. What? You mean that guy in the Rough Riders who was singing all the time? Neal was a huge Dragon fan.

It was Dragon, Eve, the Lox, then DMX. Dude. I loved those titty tattoos. I wanted them so bad. Those bag of paws? Those are still pretty. I might get those. Those are cool.

You should get those. Wouldn't that be kind of cool? What a cool flex that would be. Yeah. This kid, Jesse Lee, used to think it was, I got blood on my dicks because I fucked her course, is what he thought it was. And I'm like, DMX ain't.

Because I fucked her course. It's not a wordplay. I fucked her, of course. Because I fucked her, of course. I don't even know it. I got hay at my house because I ride a horse. Shout out to DMX. I get real sad because my parents divorced.

My head is bald. Oh, that was the worst DMX because I ride in a Porsche is what I was going to say, but that was such a bad DMX going in. I don't see him as a Porsche guy. Not any of that, but it rhymed kind of. Shout out to Shout. How's it going down, though? Reiterating, that's my favorite love song of all time.

How's it going down? By DMX. Sure. He did him slip in I can't get up yeah I can't get up

what a weird turn broccoli though good taste in my mouth that's the song about him going ice skating for the first time and me I got to get up

man speaking of this if you guys I gotta get up please YouTube please YouTube Lil Boosie Ice Skating if you guys are it's a great time should we have Sean recommend that yeah yeah I'm sorry Please YouTube Lil Boosie ice skating.

It's a great time. Should we have Sean recommend that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I brought that up a while ago. I don't appreciate you stepping on my toes like that. Fight, fight, fight, fight. What else do they have to say about broccoli? Oh, I love it when it's roasted and it's fucking a little black on the feathers, you know? Just on the edges.

Oh, he's doing spirit fingers. He gets it. You ever had broccoli with fucking lemon zest, man? Yes. Broccoli with lemon. Revelation. With like some shaved like Pecorino Romano. Like you're jacking off a goat on.

And then just like a squeeze of lemon on top of it. Yes. Yes. Or with tahini. Oh, yeah. I just got into tahini because I grilled some watermelon. What the fuck? Yeah, I'm out here.

Yeah, David don't care. You grilled a watermelon. On the barbecue. Was it good? It was great. It didn't just turn into mush? No, it retains. It's like, it's almost like a steak, kind of.

Everything I do is medallion based. That's what you need to know. That comes no surprise to any of our long time listeners you weren't wondering if it was medallion based everything David did what do we put on it we put on like

I think we put on a little like a tahini type spice and a little cayenne pepper and I loved it wait tahini or tahini it was tahini type it's like a red spice. No, I'm talking about like the Mexican one that they put on. No, that's different.

Is that tahini? I don't know what that is. It's tahini, T-A-J-I-N. And that's like that red spicy, they put it on like sweet things. Yeah. Tahini is a Greek sauce. Sesame seed paste. It's that white sauce.

I thought that was tzatziki paste. Or almost like a whitish yellowish. No, tahini's not white. Tahini's like beige. It's a yellow sauce. I thought that was tzatziki paste. Or almost like a whitish yellowish. No, tahini's not white. Tahini's like beige. It's a yellowish, right? Yeah, beige. It looks like sesame seed. Oh, so what is tzatziki?

Tzatziki is like yogurt and cucumber. That's white. Yeah, that's white. Tahiti is an island in the South Pacific. Yeah. Tankini is what I'm going to rock all next summer. Oh, don't. No, you get flashed.

You get flashed so much. People flash you if you wear tankinis? I don't know how the inverse of that. They make you flash. Tyrese is how I would describe Sean's looks. And Rafiki is the wise baboon in the Lion King. Church. And what's your pick?

My third and fourth picks, as it is. I'm going to motherfucking take motherfucking kale. I already got lettuce, and now I'm taking kale. I never had kale until... It's a real hot shot veggie. It is a new kid in town. Real Zach Morris vibes.

I know, but listen, it walks the walk. It talks the talk, and it walks the walk. A fucking kale, like a kale Caesar is really delicious. Stop. It's so earthy. Something about it, I don't like it. I don't know, man.

Terrible man. You don't like it. It's not my favorite leaf. It's a spicy lettuce. It's a spicy earthy lettuce. It feels healthy, too. The juice is good. It is mad healthy.

I get like Jamba Juice with the kale. Icy earthy lettuce. It feels healthy, too. The juice is good. It is mad healthy. I get like Jamba Juice with the kale. I love to flash boil it. Yeah. Just for a second. Then put it in the ice bath. And then dry it up if I can. And then throw it into some sizzling olive oil.

Oh, my man. So it wilts just a little bit. Does that make it crunchy? Some sizzling olive oil with some garlic. And then that crunches it up a little bit. You can also make kale chips in the oven, which is delicious. De that make it crunchy? Some sizzling olive oil with some garlic and then that crunches it up a little bit. Okay. You can also make kale chips in the oven,

which is delicious. Dehydrate it. Yeah. Nutritional yeast, miso. Yeah, I'm on board. I'm there. I'll get a round trip ticket. I'm coming back.

I got a vacation home. For seconds. We bought there. We loved it so much. We bought the zoo. It's just delicious and it's so good for you god it's a great way if like you've been just treating yourself like shit for a few days yep and then you just like let me eat like two to three kale based meals uh-huh you're gonna get

right back to where you need to be and it just makes you feel better yeah you know yeah it goes well it holds spice well you can eat it raw and it like will still yeah which i love it's a salad you can leave it on the counter all day. It's still good at the end of the day. It's still good. Yeah. It's hearty. It's a strong vegetable. It is. It is. That's why it's so good for you. It's like, have you ever boiled it and then ice bathed

it and then wringed out all the water so it's dry as a bone and then stir it with peanut sauce and now it's a cold kale salad with peanut. Man, that sounds great. Oh, it's so good. It doesn't even a cold kale salad with peanut. Man, that sounds great. Oh, it's so good. It doesn't even taste like kale anymore. But it's still kale, baby.

We can sneak this into your dinner. You love it, Sean. I like to do like a spicy sausage. You know? Or even a spicy veggie sausage. Red pepper and kale is a great combo. Yeah. Just chop it.

It takes spicy well, and I need that. Yeah. Do you have. It just holds. It takes spicy well and I need that. Yeah. Do you have this book The Flavor Bible? No. You might like it. Well, you don't have it but you wrote it.

I wrote it. I did write it. It was written off of a story that somebody overheard me telling. Yeah, you don't need the ruse one night. You don't need the book. I was shouting over

Hold the Line by Toto and what was heard that night in that bar was written down. Loy had three people in a headlock with two arms somehow. Just getting shit done. He fucking did it. I can see that.

So Kale? Oh, yeah. And then with my fourth pick. Now I'm thinking about Kale. Are we only on four? Yeah. Yeah, we need to actually really pick up the pace and pick up the picante. New York City?

New York City? Get a roll. I'm going to take the zucchini. I was going to take it. Couchette. Couchette. La couchette. Zucchini, I love.

It's just a fucking great. It's not a starting. It's not a fucking great. It's not a starting. It's not ever going to make an all-star team. No. Zucchini, all right? It's good to have on the team. But it's good to have on the fucking team. Got to have it around.

Something like a stir fry of vegetables or like a winter roast where you fucking cut up a bunch of vegetables. Got to have the zucchini in there. It keeps morale high for everybody else. I like a zucchini with some Parmesan, some Parmesan, as you might call it. I might call it. Oh, Parmesan with a lot of vegetables. With some Parmesan on there. It's so fucking, but with zucchini, it's so good.

That little, that kind of, a little bit bitter taste that it has to it. A zucchini bread. Zucchini bread is for sure. I'm not gonna have a piece of that zucchini bread if I put it up. I can fuck with a zoodle. Call your mom. Of course you are. Fucking zoodle.

Zoodle. I love, that's the, when I make the, when I make the. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a zoodle you can call your mom of course you are fucking zoodle zoodle I love that's the when I make the when I make the oh yeah yeah yeah that's the zoodle so a zucchini noodle it cooks up great

I'll do a zucchini noodle some garlic some garlic soul child some scrimp it's fucking delicious zucchini's another one I feel like I won't order it

at restaurants though no mushy as fuck but I'll zoonch it up at home it's gotta be a good restaurant for me to fuck with their vegetables to be honest with you it's so true if I go to like one I feel like I won't order at restaurants though. No. Mushy as fuck. But I'll zoonch it up at home. It's gotta be a good restaurant for me to fuck with their vegetables to be honest with you. It's so true. If I go to like an IHOP or something I'm not, I don't need

to mix vegetables. You want a side of mixed veggies at the IHOP? I used to do it when I was younger just cause like I'm getting vegetables and it's like always so bad. And it's always like summer squash and zucchini. Always. Yeah I'll just take the fries man. There's some place in the Tusk in Portland which is an an all-vegetable restaurant. Fleetwood Mac.

Oh, shout out to City O City in Denver. Yeah. They are a vegan restaurant. They have great mac and cheese, like barbecue bowls. I love that spot. Their mac and cheese is great. Their oatmeal is great. And their seitan wings are great.

Everything there is great. I don't think it happens in Sioux Falls. I really don't. I don't think there's an all-vegetable or vegan establishment. I'll go there and I'll find one, dude. I know where to look. Maybe by accident. They ran out vegan establishment. I'll go there and I'll find one, dude. I know what it looks like. Maybe by accident. Like they ran out of everything.

How many people there? Like 100,000? Like about 200 now. I bet you there's one. I don't know. Dude, my hometown has vegan options and it's 3,000 people. We can find something. It's the Pacific Northwest.

It's on an island. We'll find it. I think zucchini though at home when it's like a little crispy on the outside and then just melty on the inside. I think zucchini though at home when it's like a little crispy on the outside and then just melty on the inside. Zucchini is one of the first vegetables where I was like, I'd go to a barbecue and it'd be on the grill. And I'm like, all right, I'll act like I like vegetables. And then now I do.

But yeah, that was one of the first ones I faked it with. Or ratatouille. I've never had a ratatouille. I've never seen ratatouille. Ratatouille! You've never had it? You've never seen it? No. Yeah, I've seen it. Wait, you've never seen it? No. You've never had it though? I've never had it. I've never seen Ratatouille You've never seen it? Yeah I've seen it Wait you've never seen it?

No You've never had it though I've never had it I've seen it I mean are we talking about the movie? Well now we are Oh I mean the dish

I've never had either I've seen the movie I've never had the dish I feel betrayed on so many levels right now I didn't know it was a dish What? I didn't know it was a dish I don't think a lot of people knew that before

that movie. That's fine. Maybe I'm the weird one. Maybe I'm the weird one. You are. Let's find out, because it's time for your fourth pick. You're going to take something weird. Let's hear it. I'm a little bit thinking about it, but I

think I'll be roasted too hard. I don't want to do it. Roasted like a zucchini. Yum. I think I'll be roasted too hard. I don't want to do it. Roasted like a zucchini. Yum. I think I'm going to stick true to me and what I eat the most and I got to go carrots. Yeah. I fuck with carrots so hard, dude. I heard that wasn't true. Is that true?

I don't want to know. I don't want to know. You give me $50, I'll tell you. Never met a carrot that I liked. Really? Never once had a bite of a carrot that I was like, that tastes good. Raw or roasted? Never.

Here's a question. Never once. Have you ever had carrot juice? It's sweet. No, I haven't. I have not. You should try carrot juice. You'd be cured of all ailments.

He's sweet in my phone zone, David. Carrots are so goddamn gross to me. Wait, you've never taken a baby carrot and dunked it in ranch? But that's the ranch doing the talking. But you still ate the carrot. You still snuck it down. It's one of the rare times when I'll dip it in ranch and I can like, this is all carrot.

Doesn't matter how much ranch. I can put the carrot on a fork, drown it in the ranch, and still just taste it. Well, that's violent. What about carrot cake? Murder. Yeah, kind of. Okay, so. But that's not. Saint Sue Carmel can make a carrot cake that will

make you assassinate anyone she asks you to. Maybe... She doesn't have to make a cake. I'll do it, Harry. Maybe I take a bite on Thanksgiving. That's a little carotid. Oh, yeah. I don't think it counts, though. I don't think a carrot cake counts as carrots, though. I mean, factor it all in.

You know, kind of. You said fucking french fries. carrot cake counts as carrots, though. I mean, you can crack it all in. You know, kinda. Why are you such a hater? You said fucking french fries. The popular vegetable known as french fries? I'm a real help nut over here. Just got a whole plate full of fries at McDonald's.

I brought up eggplant parmesan for, you know, David. Parmesan is doing a lot of that work. That's true. It all counts.

Vegetables are vessels. All right. Shit, I love carrots, man. Carrot cake, bro. That's right, bro. That's right. Could you come around in 30 seconds or less? Carrot top, dude. That's what. It all counts. Vegetables are vessels. All right. Shit, I love carrots, man. Carrot cake, bro. That's right, bro. That's right. Could you come around in 30 seconds or less? Carrot tops.

That's what she said. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. So those carrots that have the tops cut off. Scream. And then they're like, there's a little bit of green still on them. Oh, yeah. But you can eat it still.

And then they're peeled all tiny. And maybe they're multicolored. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? I do. Roasted whole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Multicolored. All those different colored carrots. Maybe they're peeled all tiny, and maybe they're multicolored. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Roasted whole? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those different colored carrots. Maybe they're roasted with some cumin seeds. When I was a young warthog. When he

was a young warthog. You gotta go harder than that. If I'm gonna do the first one, you gotta go hard on the second one. Oh, I thought I was doing, like, the backup. Yeah, but he goes so hard on that second one. Oh, shit. Uh, when I was a young warthog. When he was a young warthog. When he was a young warthog. Very nice.

I saw Marissa moving around. Isn't it switched? Okay. Yeah. Okay, well, you go ahead. You say, when he was a young warthog. Yeah. You got to sing on this one.

Then I'll go hard on the paint. I saw Marissa moving around. When he was a young warthog. When I was a young warthog. When I was a young warthog. He found his aroma like a certain appeal. He could clear the cement after every meal. I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned. And it hurt, and my friends never stood downwind.

And oh, the shame. Oh, what a shame. What a change of my name. And he's changing his name. I got downhearted. Seriously? Every time that I. Hey, not in front of the camera.

Sorry. I would take carrots and I would peel them over the sink every time. And then I realized you don't have to peel them every time. You just have to wash them, and then you can eat them. They're kind of fun. Looks like skin. Plus, it's like sucking on a wiener. That's why I like them.

Yeah, me too. Big orange alien wiener. But it's so hard and skinny. Yeah, it's a weird one. Just the way I like them, baby. An Englishman's penis. way I like them, baby. Yeah. An Englishman's penis.

That penis has been in this house for 5,000 years. Also, fucking carrot soup I fuck with hard. Oh, damn, a ginger carrot soup. Oh, yum! God, I'll eat that. Carrot juice. That sounds so gross. Get this. Steam carrot, right? I'm moving off of carrot soup. Sorry, I got too excited. Steam carrot. Get it cold now.

It's cold. Not a steamed carrot fan. Not done. Steamed carrot cold. It tastes like puke. It tastes like baby food, actually, but let me finish. Then you mix together equal parts rice vinegar, soy sauce, and then a third as much sesame oil. Whisk in some sesame seeds.

Toss the carrots in that shit. Best salad you'll have in your life. I'm not trying to eat a fucking steamed carrot ever. A cold steamed carrot. No. It's a game changer. I fucking got'll have in your life. I'm not trying to eat a fucking steamed carrot ever. A cold steamed carrot. No. It's a game changer. I fucking got out of kindergarten ages ago. I'm going to make it for you, and you're going to eat those words just like I need my fucking carrots.

Stop talking to me about that. Carrots. Hey, I'm going to tell you a fourth pick. Okay, so I don't know if you want me to go broad. I had a specific one. I don't want you to do one. I want you to do you. You need to follow your heart.

I'm saying peppers. Oh, I see what you mean. You know what I mean? But do you want me to go specific pepper? No. Yeah, that's fine. Well, I'd like to just know what type of pepper you mean, because is it spicy or like bell? I use so much jalapeno pepper.

Oh. I love a jalapeno or poblano. Oh, yeah. Those are the only two I fuck with at home but like i love either of them i love how because jalapeno like fresh jalapenos when you chop whatever you put them in it just is like the perfect amount yeah especially if you use half of it and then leave it leave it in the fridge for a while and then come back with that half that's been cut open oh man does it change the flavor it just makes it stronger oh yeah i fucking love I fucking love, I love jalapeno.

I just love fresh jalapenos in anything that I make. Seriously. How many is too many? A little stir fry? Yeah. Why do you want to be judicious with it? It depends. If I bake something, I'll like chop, if I bake something, I'll like to chop up some jalapeno and just throw it in the pan with whatever's baking.

Wait, like sweet things? Roasting. Oh, sorry, sorry. Like sweet things? Roasting. Oh, sorry, sorry. Like if I do like chicken thighs or something. Right, that'd be so good. Or in cornbread, it'd be good too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, jalapeno is, I just, I love it.

It tastes so fresh to me. Yeah. You know what I mean? It makes it taste more. Like your mouth is like bigger. It's like, it's not spicy as much. It's like a natural MSG. Uh-huh.

Like it's like a flavor enhancer. I like when my mouth is spicy. I like when I have a spicy mouth. I'm always scared of them, though. Do you cut the seeds out or do you put the seeds in? No, no, I keep them in. Keep it all in. It's spicy, too.

Like a whole hog. You can wash them out, though. I usually cut them out because I'm scared of being too spicy. You can also devein a jalapeno. Like a shrimp? If you want veins? Get the poop out? No. Also, a jalapeno? Like a shrimp? They got veins? Skype, get the poop out? No.

Also, come around the, the, the, jalapeno popper? Oh, sign me up, boy.

Stuffed jalapeno? Now Sean's on board. Love it. I love jalapenos. I love peppers. Stuffed jalapenos? Yeah. Oh,

I love stuffed jalapenos. Dude, what about that, I don't think it's jalapenos, it's like a Thai chili or something, but it looks like a jalapeno and it's like water at Thai restaurants?

Water. Do you know what I'm talking about? When you ask for like the hot sauce at a Thai restaurant, and they bring out that chili water, it's like green chilies floating in water. Yeah. Hot. Oh, it's fucking amazing. It's just like vinegar and jalapenos, right?

I don't know. Yeah. Or some kind of green pepper. Now, you're taking peppers. So you get bell peppers, which I find gross. I fucking hate bell peppers, bro. Yeah, they don't do anything. That was what we were talking about earlier, right?

The other nightshade? Oh, no. Okay. No? Different one talking about earlier, right? The other nightshade? Oh, okay. No? Different one. Okay. My mistake. The other one. I don't know what he picked from a tree,

but he's picking something. A vine. Oh, a vine. Okay. R.I.P. Fruit of the vine. That's too soon. Is that your Halloween costume?

That's too soon, man. No, it's not. That's too soon, man. Your medium failed. Much like ours will soon. Stop, stop, stop. We'll all be poor. No way, I'm investing all this money into Taco Bell futures.

In medallions. Taco Bell futures. Taco Bell medallions. I'm doing very well off of Vine. You shouldn't feel bad about Vine anymore. It's fine. Jalapenos and pizza are really good. It's Vine.

Michael Jalapenos are really good. It's Vine with me. It's Vine with me. Vine rain. Trying to move on. If you can't tell, this is really good. It's vine with me. It's vine with me. Vine rain. Trying to move on. If you can't tell, this is very sensitive. Thank you.

Vine. Just like a hemorrhoid ripped my vine. Okay, it's fine. I had to whip when I said it. Your goddamn spark plug. You'll be all right.

Hey, baby, you're a firework. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You must have been talking to everybody. Must have been talking to everybody.

I'm sorry, Big Scissor sorry Big Scissor it's all good didn't mean to snip you Sean Sean is talking about your fourth and final picks

there he goes for God's sake so Buttons what's your pick can I pick tomatoes no it's not it's not a vegetable

well you can we've allowed some fruits We've allowed the other nightshade That's the other nightshade Oh, okay, I didn't know Okay, I thought we were talking about something else I'm gonna get more shit Because I'm only picking it

Because I like what tomatoes turns into And Barf? Tomatoes are gross, bro I like everything else except tomatoes But it's a good pick for the draft And I'm running out of vegetables That I can actually even stomach.

Wow. They are a fruit, but we allowed eggplant, so it's fine. It's not fine. I feel like a cheater. I don't want to do that. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's okay. Is it fine with you? Is it fine with you? What are the... You have seven seconds to decide.

Or less. No, I don't need to do it. I can pick up something different. No, let's give it tomatoes, because I took eggplants. It's fair. I'm not going to take free shabakadoo. No, I will for my last pick. What?

If we're letting tomatoes happen. Yeah. I'm picking avocado. No, you're not. Why are you saying it? If we're letting it happen. Avocados are berries. That's not, we're not doing that.

They're just as fruit as tomatoes. We're not doing that. Avocados are out. Okay, here's what I'd say. Sister. I think you should be allowed to have it. However, I'd want you to pick something else just because tomatoes are boring. And I hate them.

I want to see what else you'd pick. I like them. It's going to be more boring. I'll eat their tomatoes right now if you want to keep them. No. Drop a beat. We can. We can.

Fuck JG. I mean, I could pick something that's going to be more boring, though. I just want to see you try to find another vegetable you like. Well, you've got another pick after this. I do. But, I mean, so are tomatoes in or out? You're getting tomatoes. You can have tomatoes.

I'll just say this. The fucking texture is whack. It's like biting into a leather sack of guts. It is. I don't. That's all you. I don't like tomatoes. You can have tomatoes. I'll just say this. The fucking texture is whack. It's like biting into a leather sack of guts. I don't like tomatoes. I feel like if you get tomato slices... I have had a tomato where someone was like, brother, this thing has been cooking in the California

sun, soaking up golden rays for just long enough. You could wait another 20 years and you wouldn't taste a tomato so sweet. Plucked from Mother Nature's greenest garden and delivered to you by warm hands that have worked the earth for decades. Take a bite of this delicious sack of nutritious deliciousness and witness yourself the work of God. And I hit that tomato and it made me want to bark my guts out on the ground. And if I did, it would smell like fucked tomatoes. Do you not on the ground and if i did do you not do them on

like a burger i'll do them on a burger you said it you said it tasted like a worm sack the texture fucks me up on the outside it's all firm you gotta get it you gotta buy it when it's crazy like a closet full of garbage. Like, it looks fine from the outside, and then you open it, and it's a fucking mess. Just all those seeds spilling out of your mouth. I strongly contest that that is only not homegrown tomatoes. No, I've had homegrown tomatoes.

Then what variety of tomato? If you had a sun gold? Beef steak. I know what they are. No, those are shitty ones. I don't know. What about, like, Roma tomatoes? I've had Roma tomatoes, too.

Fuck them. You like fried green tomatoes? The ones that taste like foam fucking suck, dude. I know what you're saying. I agree with you, but there are some that are actually good. I like a leather sack of guts. A sun-gold tomato, I bet even you could fuck with.

Yeah, what about sun-dried? Oh, yeah. Sun-dried I like. Sun-dried are fucking amazing. I don't like tomatoes. I like everything they do and I just thought it was a good pick. What about a little cherry tomato? No. Just pop it in. You.

No, how about explore your mouth? I couldn't agree with him more. I couldn't agree more. It feels like you're eating bugs. Like an evil kumquat. Ew. Now I'm thinking about bugs. Big scissor don't have that, not since they broke up.

Great, tomato. Nice. What's your fifth pick? You just picked ketchup. Trying to get Mar since they broke up. Great, tomato. Nice. What's your fifth pick? You just picked ketchup. Trying to get Marissa home in a decent hour, you fucking animal. All right. I pick marinara as my vegetable.

Hot dish. Feels so boring. Try it. Green beans. Also a fruit. Seriously? No way. I'm not sure, but I think so. It's a bean, isn't it? Green beans. Also a fruit. Seriously? No way. I'm not sure, but I think so. I'm blowing it that hard, huh?

It's a bean, isn't it? Celery. Celery is a vegetable. There we go. Celery. Okay, you're taking celery? Can I? Do you want me to fact check green beans?

Yeah, you can take it. Yeah, I'm taking it. Okay, get it. That's a good one. Celery. I'm really proud of you, dude. Is it a good one? I think celery is a great pick.

It's a one. It's not an easy one. A lot of people hate it. Celery is horseshit. It's a one. It's not an easy one. A lot of people hate it. Celery is horseshit. It's just water. It's just a vehicle for ranch and stuff. I mean, you know, I was hard pressed this whole draft. I'm happy that it went as well as it did for me, honestly.

Celery is a cool vegetable that tastes terrible, but it'll get you there. But with some peanut butter and raisins, though? On some peanut butter, it's good. A little ants on the log? Yeah, I'll fuck with that. Yeah, but if I just do that on my finger. Yeah, the celery. The celery is just a vehicle. Yeah, but'll fuck with that. Yeah, but if I just do that on my finger. Yeah, the celery. The celery is just a vehicle.

Yeah, but you feel healthy. It's fun in a Bloody Mary. Yeah, sure. Dr. Brown's celery soda is delicious. Other than that, celery can fuck off. Actually, you say that, but it's mirepoix. It's one of the components. It's in that Progresso soup.

Yeah. I hate when, okay. All right. I'm just trying to help out. I'm just saying. I think it sucks too, personally. You know what fucking bums me out is when celery shows up in an unexpected place. Like where?

Have you ever had like a tuna sandwich where somebody decided to cut celery into it for texture? That was my favorite tuna. Oh, I hate it. It's just like. I like it when there's egg in the tuna. It's like tuna brought a shitty boyfriend over. Your friend's a tuna. They're a sexy friend. It's like, brought a shitty boyfriend over your friend's a tuna

there's a sexy friend and it's like hey did you just call celery sexy yeah cause it makes you skinny you know what else is sexy plain bread yeah I'd eat that too it makes you skinny

thanks Sean my fucking friend's celery came over god damn it you guys say that but I'm telling you it's probably in a lot more things than you know

and it provides a little flavor I was expecting this level of heat for every pick so I'm I've been I'm stoked I, it's probably in a lot more things than you know, and it provides a little flavor. I was expecting this level of heat for every pick, so I'm stoked. I think celery's bomb, dude. What about like a Pad Thai or something? Not Pad Thai. A different pasta that's like stir-fried with like thin slices of celery in it, and they're kind of crunchy still.

Totally. You can't fuck with that? I can't. I mean, I picked it up. It's totally, it's Friends the TV show. Okay, fair enough. Might as well be invisible to me. I have that same level of animosity for it.

I hate celery. It's a good vehicle for ranch on occasion. It's more like a cleaning product than a food. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Yeah, I don't like it. Weird, vaguely sweet. But it's so salty.

Imagine if you didn't have any salt and that you got to eat a piece of celery. You'd be like, oh, thank you. I don't have to live in that world. But you know, if you did. Imagine you've never seen a movie. You don't have any men and women died for the spice trade for you to just come and blanket their accomplishments. Hey, celery seed, by the way, a great spice. Celery seed is all right.

You can't have that without celery. Then you get to watch Silent Hill 2. Yes, I can, just the seed. I hate it. Celery, all right. I hated it Yes, I can, just to see. I hate it. Celery, all right. I hated it. David, time for your fifth pick. I liked it.

This one is super specific to me because my mom made it growing up all the time. Cassava leaves. Oh, I don't know what that is. I didn't know you could eat the leaves. Never heard of it. Yeah. Well, they do in Sierra Leone. I think West Africa in general, but it's like they would make like a stew out of it, like with palm oil.

And then we'd have like beef chunks or like goat or whatever in the cassava leaves. What's the leaf like? Well, my mom, the way she does it, she grinds it. She pounds it all up so it becomes just like a fine, like almost like a pulp. Is it like a leaf, like it's green? Yeah. And they do it in like a mortar and pestle in Sierra Leone. And it's like, yeah, it's just like a stew? Like it's green? Yeah. They do it in a mortar and pestle in Sierra Leone. And it's like a stew.

High in protein. Yeah. She'll put habaneros and stuff in there. And it's just like that food makes me think of just growing up. And now I don't make it myself. I only ever have it when my mom makes it. Where can you even buy that here? Like a specialty market?

African grocery stores usually have it. I know about cassava root, and that shit's bomb. You have to cook it down or it's poison. What? Really? I didn't know that. That's pretty buck. Oh, my God.

That looks amazing. Wait, are cassava and yucca the same food? I think it's basically a- Oh, my God. I didn't know that. That's what the cassava looks like. It's just like a yucca, but- It's like a tuber.

We don't really eat that as much as cassava leaves. Growing up, two, three times a month probably. I want to try this now. Can you make a vegan version? Can I have it? I don't. I mean, she uses palm oil and then you don't have to have the meat. So, yeah, I guess it would probably be pretty easy.

Oh, God. What's it taste like? Can you describe it? I don't know how to explain it. It's like, it's not bitter. It's just like, I don't know. It's like the whole stew though. So, she spices it and we ate it over, we like, it's not bitter. It's just like, I don't know. It's like the whole stew though. So she spices it and we ate it over, we always eat it over rice.

That's how we eat it. And it's just, I love it. I want to eat that now. It's pretty good. I feel like I just got blue balls. Better than celery. I'll tell you that. It is better than celery.

A little more interesting. It's fine. I don't have much to say about it. It sounds good. Sounds dank. Yeah yeah I'm in cassava leaves that's my choice cassava leaves

meal burrito burrito okay I got a fucking Sophie's Choice here wow I really like vegetables

I can tell as much as Jewish children is that what that movie's about yes you didn't know what it was about I've never seen it I really like vegetables. As much as Jewish children? Is that what that movie's about? Yes. You didn't know what it was about? I've never seen it. Oh, that's hilarious.

It's about a mother who has to pick between which kid she's going to save from the Nazis. Seriously. Oh, boy. It's like the heaviest shit. I was like, that is a choice. My mistake. My mistake. My apologies.

That's Sophie's choice to make here for my Schindler's List of Vegetables. To the entire Jewish community. I apologize. I don't want to be a Jacob the liar and take the wrong one. Man, I was doing so good knowing about Kugel earlier, too. You did. You're fine. You're fine.

The Kugel stuff bought you so much cred in the community. Oh, thank God. That was horrible. Okay. I think I'm going to go Nori. Does it count? What? What?

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What? What? What? What? What? What? I feel like sea vegetable. Your girl's looking at me. She's struggling. No, I'm not haggling her. But you don't want them boys to come over and start asking you what you want to do. Nothing. What you trying to do?

Nothing. I don't know what you're doing. Nori? I don't know what that is. Well, we don't know what the vegetable is. I don't know what you're trying to find on the ground. N-O-R-I. Seaweed. Oh, seaweed. Nori? I don't know what that is. Well, we don't know what the vegetable is, so we're trying to find common ground. N-O-R-I. Seaweed.

Oh, seaweed. Nori. We were talking about the wrapper. Yeah. Nori. What the fuck just happened? Salute to the Drink Champs podcast, the only podcast I like as much as ours. Oh, seaweed.

We were talking about the wrapper. I get it. Wow. That's awesome. You don't produce by the Neptunes? Oh, no. He kind of started the Neptunes. Nobody was really fucking with Neptunes. It's a guy or it's a group? That was like the first song I remember hearing, okay. You don't produce by the Neptunes? Oh, no. He kind of started the Neptunes. Nobody was really fucking with the Neptunes.

It's a guy or it's a group. That was like the first song I remember hearing, really. Yeah, he's the first guy to shout to Neptunes like, what are the best? What? What? What? No, I'm talking about fucking seaweed, bro. The seaweed that wraps up sushi or is maybe cut smaller and seasoned and sold as a seaweed

snack or maybe is like ground up and you shake it onto rice and that shit that's called something, I can't remember. That's that good. Furukake? That's wrong. That's something else. Did you say bukake? Man, you were putting your foot in your mouth.

No, furukake. I think that's wrong too though. Furukake. Anyway, it's that shit you shake on top of your rice with like sesame seeds and it's got seaweed in it. It's fucking delicious, dude. A teriyaki seaweed snack?

Oh, my God. Okay. Also, honestly, wrap anything in nori. I'll fucking eat it. It's fucking good for sushi. Me too. Yeah. It's good for sushi.

Or like, okay, before I was vegetarian even, spam with seaweed. Oh, you were in the smoothie? You were hella not vegetarian. I love that. It used to be so good. I tried it once. I had Hawaiian friends. Yeah. I love spam. Onigiri? Yeah. seaweed oh you were you were hell not vegetarian so good i tried it once i had hawaiian friends yeah yeah i love onigiri yeah i mean honestly anything with nori i'm like yeah i want that

i want to eat that thank you we're on the same page i'm not fighting i'm just excited oh okay they sound the same we feel the same way about nori i've just had sheets of nori from like trader joe's they have that's what i'm saying the wasabi was so bad for you oh they are good nutrition oh are they fattening don't tell me don't tell me i don't want to know also when him and put out the war report what was that remember yeah y'all don't want to fuck with us all right i'm sorry it's a rapper You guys ever have rice in a bowl, and you put a bunch of yum shit on top of it, and then you top it with Nori freeform sushi?

Nori. Okay. I would. You will now? I would might could do that. I would. Now that you know. I would might maybe could do that.

Time for me to add another jewel to my crown here. Land the plane, baby. It's windy out. Y'all are Birdman, baby, I'll fly in any weather. It's windy. What happened to that bird? What happened to that plane? Oh, I thought you were talking about the movie.

And I'm gonna take, Brrrrts! I almost took meat! What? You like meats too? Brrrrts! What happened to that boy? Brrrrts! What happened to that boy? What happened to that boy?

I didn't pick it because I thought you'd get too much shit. No, I love meats. Oh, man. I'm just glad Dr. Dre is finally a billionaire. Oh, my God. Here we go again. Tyrese told me that. I can't take it with the vegetable wrappers.

I was looking in the mirror. You don't like KC Veggies? I got you. All I want to do is smoke that broccoli. Anwar Carrots. What's that dude who's like in with the odd future or whatever? KC Veggies. KC Veggies?

I need to ask you, red, Chiaoga, or you're golden? Yeah, man. I know all this. It's the fifth round of vegetables. I know the first and the third one. What's the Chiaoga mean? The candy cane. The pink with white.

Those are those three girls that are in that Migos video. Stop. And they're buck. They're buck. And they're buck. So it turns into conditions. Yeah, like all three of them, but I prefer if I had to go in order, like the red, the golden, and then the chia.

Probably. Crazy town. We've entered crazy town on this podcast. Come, come, lady. I love the red beet. I love how it makes your poop red and your pee red sometimes. Yeah, it's so fun. It's fun. Because it's such a relief.

It is. And it's exciting. Oh, it's just the beets. Finally, my shit's bleeding. It's not a relief, but it's been passed down by every man in your family. It's just kind of fun. It's just kind of fun. It's a fun experiment with your body.

It's like the asparagus pea. Yeah. Yeah. We all have them for so long. Might as well have some fun with them. Right? Sure. You tie-dyed your insides.

Yeah. Ooh, yeah. Your insides are gonna eat some mushrooms in the daytime and skip school. Hell yeah. I like how Earth... I'm tired. He's talking about

Beast of Calium. I can't believe you did that. Then he just goes, I'm tired. In the middle of a word. I like how earthy they are. They're delicious. I love that flavor. Then he just goes, I'm tired. In the middle of a word. Look how earthy they are. They're delicious. I love that flavor.

The depth of it. Do you ever throw them in a stir fry? No. It's good, dude. I will now. A little roasty crispy. I like them with a, you're not going to like this, but I like them with a goat cheese, like with a shell. No, you can do a vegan version real good.

A shell? Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah, you're going to like this. I like them with a goat cheese. Balsamic salad, candied walnuts, beets. Oh, delicious. I don't know what that noise is. No, it's it.

You're in. It's a good noise. The candied walnuts. Pulling suction out the window. It's one of the candied walnuts going in there. Yeah. Uh-oh. Ian's climbing Mount Rushmore.

Like the girl from Rescue Rangers. Yeah. They're all beets, man. All the time. I feel like people hate beets so much. Dude, what about the zigzag pickle ones? I don't know about those. I don't like those.

I don't know what you're talking about. I love those. I like the pickle beets. It's been real. It's been real. They're cut like crinkle fries. Oh. They're not like crinkle fries.

I don't like them as much as a regular beet. Oh, but on a salad bar? I'll take them. You're talking about my favorite vegetable, What about killer tofu? What? Oh, are you doing Doug? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking about my favorite vegetable? What about killer tofu? What? Are we doing Doug? Yeah.

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. You know, maybe it's late. It is late. We've been laughing. Me and my toads, am I right? I'm not good at references. Sorry. I can't ask you.

You're great at references. You're right. You're not good at them. You're great at them. Sometimes I forget that we're only two years apart. I grew up on an island, David. You had TV. He's from Sierra Leone.

I did not have TV until I was like eight. That's okay. Internet didn't exist. I was homeschooled. You talk like we were in, I grew up in a different world. The internet also didn't exist for me. She's like, you're just saying stuff from the, Crystal Pepsi, we were

still reeling from that. Pokemon was a thing. You wouldn't understand. It was the 90s. The bombing at the Atlanta Olympics was leaving everyone feeling a little shaken up. Truthfully, I don't know what an island thing. Game Boy Color dropped. I was confused.

I just did Gabe versus podcast, and we were trying to do like islands versus islands, and I'm like, wait a second. I don't know if this is a weird thing or just everyone has this experience because I can't tell the difference now. Well, this is from Long Island. That's not an island. That's just like a floating city, right? Yeah. I don't know.

I feel like also islands are very different. Yeah. I don't know. I only know where I'm from. I don't know what anything else is like. Can't relate. And where you're from, horse attacks happen. I have been bitten by a horse many times.

So gnarly. That is a crazy stat. But they like beets, too. I don't know. Horses like beets. I like beets. I didn't like it when I was a kid. I had an epiphany.

How old? 20, probably. 20, 21. It all came crashing down. Yeah, 21. The beet lobbyist got to you. I got beet in. Oh, you got beet in? And you can make sugar from beets. Yeah, 21. The beet lobbyist got to you. I got beet in. Oh, you got beet in?

And you can make sugar from beets. Yeah, beet sugar. And they're good chips. Dehydrated. Oh, I do like a beet chip. I gotta stop making that noise. It's really weird. So that wraps her up, you know?

Turned out to be a smooth landing. Yeah, it was nice. We don't have to end every song. You know, sometimes you're listening to music and the song doesn't just end. The guy keeps playing. Or the woman. Thank you. Or the non-binary person.

Thank you. Whoever it is who is doing the instrument. And it just kind of slowly fades out. You know? They keep talking. But it just gets quieter and quieter. You know? It just keeps getting quieter and quieter.

And then it's over. That's kind of how this draft ended. Yeah, yeah. Nice, for God's sake. I think people at home will probably be mad about beats. Mellow. Oh, they're going to be mad about it. I'll fight a single fucking one of them.

So you're going to be mad about stuff. That's just how that goes. Come to the Slack and tell me where you want to get your ass kicked. I'll show up with a jar of beats. Give you a beet down. Tie your beet to either end of a chain and use it like a nunchuck. Nunchuck.

Beastie boys. Sean, you went first. You took potatoes, cucumber, corn, tomato, and celery. That's a good old-fashioned Midwest sound right there. Yes, it is. David, you went second. You took cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, eggplant, peppers, and cassava leaves. Ooh, I'm not going to win.

You beat me. Miel, you went third. You might have won. Onions, garlic, broccoli, carrots, and nori, a.k.a. seaweed. Oh, boy. Ian, you went fourth. You took lettuce, asparagus, kale, zucchini, and beets.

Oh, that's a good pick. You have like a food pyramid vegetable table. It's delicious. We left some stuff on the board. Why did you press? Is pumpkin a vegetable? Jicama? Pumpkin is a fruit. Okay. God, I must love fruits, huh? Spinach ended up getting left on

the board. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about picking it last, but I wanted to go. Oh, shit. I didn't. I thought that was. Chard. Chard. Collard greens.

Collard greens. Artichoke. I thought about it. Does anyone eat mustard greens? Yeah. Mizuna. Mm-hmm. Mizuna, Montana.

I didn't have anything left. Romanesco. Ooh. Oh, Romanesco's fun. Mm-hmm. Romanesco is that broccoli that looks like fractals. Mm-hmm. Or whatever. Or like mean broccoli. I know. Yeahesco is that broccoli that looks like fractals. Or whatever. Or like mean broccoli.

Yeah, it's mean broccoli. Mean broccoli. Broccoli rock. Broccoli tops. Chinese broccoli. Oh, yeah. Bok choy. Bok choy.

A lot of good stuff. I could keep going. Water chestnuts. Gone. Cranberries. They're not a vegetable. Are they? Bog food.

Cars. The Bible. God. There's so? Cars. The Bible. God, there's so many vegetables. 2020 vision. Barack Obama. Justice. You guys are showing off, but I really was stretched to my limits. I don't know. No, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was waiting for someone to try to drop a mushroom. I was about to get so mad. I googled it. I googled it earlier. It's not vegetables. It was on my list, but it's not vegetables. That's a different list. I googled it. I googled it earlier. It's not vegetables. It was on my list, but it's not vegetables. That's a different list. Yeah, fuck yeah. Tight. So, we want to hear what your vegetables are. Did we leave anything off the... I can't...

I'm sure we did. How did we if we did? I mean... I was over here picking fruits. We picked 20 vegetables. I'm picturing Whole Foods right now, and I'm not seeing anything, you know? Are herbs vegetables? You tell me. Turnips.

Let us know. Turnip. Oh, yeah. Turnip in the club. Rutabaga. Rutabagas. Rhubarb. Yeah, rhubarb.

Only vegetable I like in pie. I take that back. I like sweet potato pie. Sweet potatoes. You and Domino's got to get a piece of that sweet potato pie. Sweet potato pie. I don't really care for sweet potatoes.

Fuck off. Have you ever had a mash? I've had them in every fashion. I love it. I will not be attacked at the end of the podcast. All right? Come back for another one. Bring it up on whatever one you come back for.

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