All Fantasy Everything - Villains (w/ Sean Jordan and David Gborie)

Episode Date: April 4, 2019

ROSEMARY, ahhhhh, HEAVEN RESTORES YOU IN LIFE. We're drafting villains! Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Decide the winner on the All Fantasy Everything Twitter poll @AllFantasyPodMerch!T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Show Email: [e-mail] Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that just polished off a pretty big salad and is now sipping on that green juice. Sipping on it. Sipping on it. Sipping on it. Sipping on it. Sipping on that green juice.

Sipping on it. With an immune boost. Like an amuse-bouche. I hate it when you actually get rapping because then it reminds me that I can't do it. Man, I didn't mean for that to be. Well, maybe you should try right now, Sean.

I don't like to say I can't. No, because it's been... I don't like to say I can't do something, but I'll tell you, I still try in the shower to this day. Do you? You never get a run going? Never.

That feels wild to me. Never. Man, I get them going all the time. Shane can do it. You ever try? Well, that's just because that's an improv skill. That feels wild to me. Never. Man, I get them going all the time. Shane can do it. Well, that's just because that's an improv skill. It's an improv skill. The man's a gifted improviser. He is. Buy his album. Buy his album? Yeah.

Buy his album. You feel especially bad because he got mad at you. Oh, that's fuck, man. That's right. Shane got mad at me last week. That's right. We put that second live episode out and on that episode. I was talking about how he was crying one time. First of all,

we've told stories about all of us crying. There's that story about Zach being like, I can't be around any fucking people right now. Yeah. So I decided that I was going to tell a story that I've never even told Ian. And this is embarrassing. This is an embarrassing story. And I do not like it,

but I'm going to tell it. So Shane, just so you know, cause I got to take my lips. This is your penance for bringing up the fact that Shane cried? This is my penance. Outside of the montage. And we technically brought it up two weeks in a row. Yeah, here we go. Do it again.

Now you've got to tell us what you were wearing during the story. I will not sully this woman's name, but you know, it was a girl that I was in a long-term relationship for quite some time let's call her nicole no well it's not and it's not even anything bad so what i did i was like really into scrubs at the time there was a line in scrubs we all had that time when jd's talking to elliot and uh she's walking away and he goes he he goes, it should be me. And then she turns around and they like,

they have, they're together forever. So I remember one time this girl was like walking away for me to drive back to the city. She was like 10 feet away and I go, hey, I feel like such a dork. I go, hey, it should be me. Whoa. And I stole it from scrubs.

It worked for like a month. It did work. Well, come on then. That's not a shitty story. It is. No, you won. I stole a line from Scrubs. I'm not a big fan of Scrubs.

No, no one is. Oh, man. He is. I love that show. I had a time period. Now I can't even get through an episode. I love it. He walked in when we were in the old apartment.

He's like, not in my apartment. And just shut it off. Shane and I were sitting like eating a whole pizza or something. It's only because neither of you lived there at that time, right? I never lived there. Was that when Nick still lived there? So it was pre-Shane? Never once lived there.

Oh, yeah. You never did live there. I stayed there for like a week one time. Yeah, yeah. How could I be so homeless? You weren't homeless. No, I was like in between though. Because I had week one time. Yeah. Yeah. How could I be so homeless? You weren't homeless. No, I was like in between though.

Cause I had, I had quit my job and everybody moved and I was like, well, can I stay with you? And then I went on the road. Oh yeah. That's when I, for like a month.

But then you moved in with Anthony Lopez. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Uh, I just stole that line from Scott's one. I've been,

but the, one of the more embarrassing stories, I don't think that story is that embarrassing it would have been embarrassing if she was like no you fucking nerd she was like is that from Scrubs yeah that would be embarrassing

damn that would suck you just dumped off the left foot it's almost more impressive I thought it was embarrassing I see what you're doing telling some story more impressive. Yeah. That you did. It was embarrassing. Well, I see, I see what you're doing. Oh, I'm telling some story. Okay.

Oh, that was so good. That's what she told me. That's what it is. That's what, if anything, I'd say my biggest drawback is that I work too hard. Like,

you know, I will at this target. God, I guess like I'm coming in on Saturdays when I'm not even scheduled and that's going to make other people feel bad, and I don't like that. This bank's open on Sundays, you know what I mean? I'm sorry, I didn't know you could get pregnant twice. I guess I'm just too potent.

It's weird to dunk on two rims at the same time. It wins people out. I get that, but I do it. Yeah, man. I one time in high school, and this is way more embarrassing, and I may have said it before, and I'll say it again, is over AOL Instant Messenger, first of all. Let me lay that out on that sure i'm in second of all with this girl the same girl to whom i sent uh we we had a mixtape exchange going nice and she

let me know that things were so the first mixtape full of very romantic songs stuff that gets you very excited second mixtape it has the yum yum bumblebee bumblebee tuna song on it. And the song one night in Bangkok from the musical. Whoa. Yeah. Is that what that song is from? One night in Bangkok. Mix the world.

Yeah. It's from the musical chess. Song's a blood sport too, I think. Is it really? I think so. Is that song about masturbating? I don't know,

but I think it's like a name. No, it's about a song. It's literally about a chess tournament. If you listen to the lyrics. Like a night in Bangkok, there was a chess tournament, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Man, that seems like the nerdiest thing you've ever heard. Well, there's a guy like, lucky then that gets a she, and a get is like a chess judge. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Is he saying he's going to- One town's very like another when your head's down over your pieces, brother. Your chess pieces. Not your guns. Anyway, I get a CD thinking like, ooh, what's going to be on this? What little message is she going to be sending me?

The message was, no, thank you. But then, in an effort to win her back over AOL Instant Messenger, and I'll say that again, where my screen name was Sticky McJew. Yeah, thanks for asking. Sticky McJew. Yeah, thanks for asking. Sticky McJew. And I said the speech from Chasing Amy,

where Ben Affleck tries to talk Joey Lord Adams, who is a lesbian, what, who he's friends with, into being his girlfriend. You took that? I cribbed it. If there's even one. And sent that to this girl. One iota of a feeling. Then we owe it to ourselves.

Shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Not as a friend, even though we're great friends or something like that. And just like sent that to her. And here's the other crazy thing. So I sent that to her. Obviously, it did not work.

I got fucking pie faced. Hard. Didn't work. So i forget where i told i either tried to tell that story on stage once or it was on another podcast or it was on anyway anyway i forget who somebody else came to me it was like i tried that too once whoa yeah isn't that crazy but i swear to god i tried it it's a pretty compelling speech in the movie it really is it's weird now going back and looking at it, it's a pretty compelling speech in the movie. It really is. It's weird now going back and looking at it like she's a lesbian. Why would you try to talk her into it?

But whatever, people do foolish things with her in love, including sending that to someone who very may well have seen Chasing Amy herself. Possibly. I did that to Lindsay Yard, who is now married to and has a kid with some guy who I worked with the NBC sports Northwest with, uh, she's tight as hell. She was, it was, I was very stoked. She had a crush on like, she was gorgeous. But, uh, yeah, anyway, all went south. I was part of it. That kind of podcast. One time at a camping trip, I, uh, I kissed my friend Doug's aunt. Yeah.

Nice. I thought we were just talking about weird stuff we've done with women. That is pretty weird. She was like way older. Doug. Well, your friend was named Doug and that was her aunt. So that seems like an old aunt. What was her name? Carol. Carol, damn. She was wearing a tank top that said get sand in your crack at Big Mac.

And I said, let me get a crack of the crack. We were very drunk it was like night time around a campfire you're starting to color in the lines here I'm saying it I don't think I had enough access to computers to have sent

an embarrassing email like that I had my high school girlfriend's password for her email after we broke up and I'll tell you, that is a rough. No, man. No,

you don't want those problems. Oh my God. There was one from this, from her dude. And he's like, what a sweetheart. This guy ended up being, by the way.

Yeah, he was, he really was. And, uh, there was one where it's like, there's one of the best feelings is when I get to go get you donuts in the morning.

And I'm like, at the house computer, just freaking out. Here's an embarrassing story that I may have told the first porn site that I ever went to. I, you just used to type in sites and I was like, I wonder if the boob site is a real. So I typed in www.theboobsite.com. Was it real? And I accidentally left, it was just pictures of boobs. I accidentally left the window up one time.

I left it up and I go downstairs and I step down and my aunt are down there and they're like, you were on the computer earlier? I was like, yeah, so? And they just turned it to me and it's the boobsite. The boobsite? And I was just like,

whatever. Theboobsite.com that's crazy I want to I downloaded pictures of Lara Croft naked so whatever that's a lie my stepdad

caught me cranking it to that part where uh Steve Martin feels up Queen Latifah bringing down the house whoa

whoa yeah it was not my finest hour wow yeah we rented it at King Soopers Man, we rented it at King Soopers. The Queen. We rented it at King Soopers. We didn't really...

We were new to the DVD player game, so we didn't really have any DVDs that I could be... That's a great movie. Yeah, it was fun. I really enjoyed it. You got me straight tripping, boo. I got cock cranking twice in my life. You reckon that's Soulja Boy?

I was sitting down in the shower one time and my girlfriend just busted in because my weird friend... Well, your girlfriend? Well, my friend Lance was in the living room. Quit bragging! Oh, my girlfriend! Oh, wait, your girlfriend caught you?

No, no, no. Your girlfriend caught me pulling my butt. That's getting caught. Your penthouse forum. That's getting caught. Yeah, I was cranking my rod and then my summer bestie came in. What are you talking about? Your girlfriend

caught you jerking off. My stepdad caught me, alright? They're not even blood. He had to look into that underage penis of a kid who wasn't his. He just committed a crime in there. Your girlfriend caught you.

That's cute. Your story's cute. Both of your stories are... The boob site one is... The boob site one is amazing. That's definitely a good enough story to make up for how you brought up Shane crying outside of the B-Store montage because he had been broken up with.

Yeah. I still feel like somehow Shane still took the L in all this. I've cried. I cry. I have so many tears. So many tears. Oh my God. That's what we're upset about.

Yeah. I almost cried last weekend in Palm Springs. Oh yeah. I remember. Oh, that was the, we haven't talked about it. That was,

that was the mushy. I don't know. I don't know how much of it we want to talk about, but that's fine. Your boys went to Palm Springs for a small weekend. There was the three of us and our good friend, Jason Concepcion, and our great, great friend, Zach, Count Zaccola Toscani. All five of us piled into a Prius.

I forgot. We haven't even touched on that. Oh. That's awesome. First stop, of course, was the outlets out by Palm Springs. Yeah. That was tight, man. Yeah. Yeah. That was the beginning of like our Springs. Yeah, that was tight, man. Yeah.

Yeah. That was the beginning of like our two week long flex that we've been on. Yeah, we flexed for two weeks. Nobody leaves without buying something. Got some slides. Yeah, I got some slides. And those are the richest outlets I've ever been to. Oh my God.

They're like Prada and like Gucci stores and everything. Well, that's not even an outlet. Stores that I didn't even know had paper bags. No. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought those nicer stores, you got like a silk pouch. I don't know what I thought of. Like an attache case. Yeah, I didn't even know it had paper bags. I thought those nicer stores you got like a silk pouch.

I don't know what I thought. Here's your socks, Dr. Boyd. I'm not a doctor. You are now. Does this work at Orange Julius? They give you a PhD from Carnegie Mellon

when you buy Gucci slides. Here's your socks, Dr. Boy. So we stopped there. It was pretty great. Yeah, that was fun. And we proceeded to Palm Springs to the Ace Hotel and Swim Club, where we swam a lot and drank pina coladas. Turned the on switch and put duct tape on it so nobody could touch it.

Kept it on. Oh, yeah. Everybody got a nice little time in the sun. Chewed a little mushy boom boom. We didn't have any mushy boom boom personally. A mushy boom boom down. A mushy boom boom down.

We went to this restaurant that we blew up the spot. We blew up the spot. We went to a steak restaurant that was not equipped to serve gentlemen of our caliber. When we came back, amazing. Amazing. When we came back, it was just like, dog.

That was perfect. Just a fun little weekend. Then the ride back was whatever. It wasn't even bad. I was struggling a little bit. I thought I was going to shit my pants. That's right. That was funny.

It went like, because Zach was just talking. So Zach was sleeping for a good portion and he woke up probably a mile from the house in the neighborhood. Yeah. And you were sitting there doing the, like, just fucking go, just fucking go.

But you weren't, you were just talking to the world. And Zach's like, I think they got a red light and you go, I know Zach, I have to shit. And he's like, Oh,

all right. So you're not talking. You're just willing them to go. I'm talking, yeah. Yeah, I know, Zach. I was talking so I didn't have to think about how bad I had to shit. I had to shit so bad. Yeah, that was.

Then you had to immediately go to a meeting. That was such a bummer. Oh, yeah. Oh, did you know? And then what happened? So I had to. I don't know. I guess I'm not supposed to say who.

Well, yeah, someone. I had to go up to fucking like, not Beverly Hills where rich people live. I had to go to like out there, like Thousand Oaks or whatever it's called. We're really rich people, really famous people live. I go to this meeting up there and I get to the gate and I am sitting by the gate ringing the doorbell for like 10 minutes. And then it finally opens and i drive up to the house and then anyway i sit there and i get a call from my agent when i'm at the house saying like oh so-and-so had to cancel and then i drove all the way back home two hours out of my day for nothing well and it was the two hours they canceled we were here so we got back from palm

springs and about it like five minutes after we sit down ian's like, fuck, it's an hour? So he had to leave immediately. Then he got back, and I was like, hey, man, I've just been sitting here. Sucked. But it was such a great weekend. It really was. Yeah.

And then this weekend, Nick Mampay, not in the house, not in the studio, not on the mic. Forever in our hearts. Forever in our hearts. Last time he was here, apparently, we had gone to McDonald's, Red Robin, and Taco Bell to eat. Damn.

Is that why? That's why I was like, that's not happening twice. It didn't. So he came and then he went to Faded. We had a lot of fun at Faded. And then on Saturday, what did we do? We went to the whatever

the deli was where we had lunch and like we had some drinks i had that like fried chicken sandwich we went to friedman's for brunch which is delicious yeah they went to park's korean barbecue for dinner but what was tight about that is i sprung for the big uber oh the xl big suv a gigantic black yeah uber black but like the big SUV a gigantic oh they were black yeah Uber black but like the big SUV oh shit well cause it's like well I wanna play

really loud music and they boy did we yeah it was so fun yeah oh man that's tight they went to Korean BBQ we had so much food

we were inverted seriously we got back and I snuck to bed cause I was like I don't wanna look like a coward but I was so done I went late in bed just to charge my phone we wouldn't we didn't even really drink it was a

very reasonable drinking experience yeah well it's so much food on top of it yeah we just had some soju and shit and then like I went and charged to charge my phone and I was so full of recently cooked meat that I passed the hell out like at 9 30 it was pretty great I was a major domo uh last went to Majordomo last night. Two nights ago. Whatever. Yeah. That was amazing, too.

Yeah. Yeah. A gnarly-ass weekend. How was Denver, dude? Ooh, it was fucking fantastic. Shout out to everybody that came out to see me at the Bug Theater. Shout out to the Grawlix. Shout out to the Grawlix.

Everybody who was on the show. Katie Bowman, Patrick Patrick Richardson Vanessa Gonzalez popped up which was so fun got to see Andrew Orvidal do a great set love that guy Ben Roy

freaking ripped it Adam Cadenhall and you know what you did Ben Roy's maybe my favorite comedian yeah if you guys get his album

I Have Demons yeah he does and then Adam Cadenhall legend yeah Cadenhall and also yeah

Adam's just stupid funny man Andrew Overdahl too they're all very funny but yeah it was great to be home I saw my friends we tried to do a crawfish boil straight up blew it straight up blew it I'm going to give that one to Sam Talent

pick that out Sam Talent Sam Talent how did he fuck it up Were they not boiled properly It was a whole lot We saw Beach Bum and I think that got us to the weird one Is that the McConaughey one It's a Harmony Corrine

It is Harmony Corrine Way more linear than a lot of his movies It's very followable Well he's getting He does an epically later and he's like he's not crazy he's just yeah he's he's he's leveled out he was pretty buck back in the day but like he's you know yeah he's getting he's gnarly movies come out of that dude yeah fucking beach bum is beautiful but then yeah we just i don't know what it was we did a lot of bad

stuff we we were going to multiple walmart Walmarts to find turkey fryers, arguing with dudes. We got a type of sausage we had never heard of instead of andouille. Arguing? We were, it was all. What kind of sausage was it? It was this sweet Chinese sausage. Oh.

Which was already a weird move. Yeah. We just, and then like I told Sam I was like we need salt and classic white person he was like we got all this old bay we don't need salt too and I was like dude the recipe needs all this salt

you're gonna put none of the salt in it it was just it was overcooked it was we tried to pretend but it was like we at some point everybody had to kind of tap out yeah that's classic wonderful it was you can't you know you gotta crawl before you can walk have you done a crawfish boil before we had done a lobster boil about this time last summer last year and really fucking nailed it to the wall with the lobster so we were confident in

our seafood abilities i know that sausage you're talking about. It's like a kind of sticky rice. It's good. Yeah, it's good but it's not for crawfish and shrimp and it was just and we didn't

the timing was weird. It just wasn't good, man. But the rest of the trip was fantastic. Maybe we go to that seafood place in Glendale this weekend to make up for it. Yeah, I'm so with that.

We'll swing by somewhere for you to go look at what's going on with Mac and D's. We should do that after we tag team all these episodes on Saturday. Yeah, that'd be awesome, dude. We're marathoning the Saturday with that. We'll swing by somewhere for you to go look at Mac and D's. We should do that after we tag team all these episodes on Saturday. That'd be awesome, dude. We're marathoning the Saturday on that.

Yeah, we deserve a good dinner after this. Yeah, we do. That would be awesome. That's exactly what we'll do. Marissa, you can come too. Yep. Marissa, get us a table for 19 at the Outback. God.

And then a table for 19 at the, uh what is it austin powers bar then have someone drug me again that last time we were at outback i was just i remember walking in it's like going into that steak restaurant where i was like all right i just had to like put myself like get do it dude yeah we've been way worse at restaurants way we were at fucking outback yeah yeah oh yeah we should go get some good food on saturday yes super into that lock it oh yeah so now that we've told shawn is jordan uh at shawn is jordan on twitter got it shawn cougar bell and Jordan on the gram. If I didn't kind of play catch-ups, what do you got coming up?

Album's finally coming out. So the date. Our work looks big. 420. We're 426. 690. Is what it's looking like right now. It might be May 3rd, depending on.

Could be June 8th. May 3rd's close to my B day. It's one of those two days. I heard it's coming out December 14th, 1992. Sean was a very special child. That man. And that's it. I think we have a live, go to Faded, go to Faded every Friday. If you live in LA.

Look out for Detox. We have a live AFE coming up May 18th. Are we telling about that? We'll tell the Patreon. Oh, this is the Patreon, right? No, this is the normal one. So I'll tell the Patreon. Yeah, we'll tell them before this comes out.

Before this comes out. And hopefully there's still tickets left. If there's not, I guess we'll start doing bigger venues. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, anyway. Yeah. And Mike Malloy can suck it.

He will. Suck it, Mike. No, I'm just kidding. We love love mike uh blue roost is fucking awesome place to do a show we'll be on tour this summer we're getting stoked about it yeah we'll try it's coming together it's harder than you think to plan but it's coming together it is harder than you think uh david borey in the studio hey cool guy jokes 87 on instagram yo The G is silent on Twitter.com Yo There you go Use the app on your phone

Feel free It's a fun website Dominic Wilkins and the president are on there So like what could go wrong Dominic Wilkins is my president

Yeah Dominic Wilkins the human highlight president What do you got coming up? April What date does this come out? The 12th? No This comes out on

Thursday. Two days from now. Well, either way, April 23rd, I'm going to be headlining Comedy Works South with my man Sam Talent

and Evening with Sam and Dave and then April, I believe 25th or 26th and 27th, I'm going to be opening for Eric Andre at the Omaha Funny Bone. All dates on officialdavidbori.com.

Check out the website. Read my bio. Buy a t-shirt. Look at some videos that I have. I might wear that t-shirt to work tomorrow. I got my David Boria official merch. I couldn't be more excited. We sent that straight out the lab.

Shout out to my man, Mel Cooks, for making those for me. And other than that, oh yeah, I think, I'm not 100% sure, but if you watch my Twitter, I think I'm going to be on a network television show, either this week or next week. Scrubs, he's back. I'm back on Scrubs.

Scrubs pickup line, season 12, dude. So watch, yeah, watch me on that. And then, you know, all I'm and then you know all I'm gonna say all I'm gonna say if you're watching TV soon from now just just really listen

keep your ears peeled just listen just listen to the sounds come out of that open those ears up a little bit you know get one of those wax candles you know what I mean

loud and clear you go to the doctor they'll clean your ears out I get it done twice a year because you're really going to want to hear television. Let's just say David's going to... On the... On the...

Country music television. With about six of them. Yeah. On the boob site. David's going to be on the boob site. David's going to be on the boob site. David's the official brand ambassador for the boob site.com. Boob site.

Boob site. Round and round. Boob site. Round and round. Damn son, where'd you find tits? I was just sitting there like, what do I want and what do computers have websites

I'm not looking for a web I love that you said the boob site dot com if you were hungry to go to the food site dot com or the car site dot com what if the internet was that simple I feel like it was for a minute for like a day I think it was where you're just like food dot com and it was for a minute. For like a day, I think it was, where you're just like food.com

and it was just everything. Pets.com, sure. One time in the history, I'm pretty sure my mom went to sex.com. Sex.com, still around. This is back when we had blue light, back when the blue light internet, when Kmart had free internet.

Oh, yeah. Didn't you ever dial on your phone like 1-800, you know, whatever. No. Whatever equals seven letters you never did that just you never did there was a sexy voice Santa Claus no oh man I did that I still remember what happens when I 1-800 uh spank me you would it was too adult I couldn't even get that too deep into it I remember I'd dial it and it'd be like, press one for hot and horny girls.

And it was like, I remember because the voice sounded like one of my teachers. It was like, press two for guys who do it with guys. I remember being like, what? I don't know what this is. This is for grownups and hanging out. But I would, I had called and listened to it until two multiple times. You walked right into an AP bio lecture. Yeah.

That was the lecture. There it is. There it is. A little hard. I think you were a little hard on him last night. Horde. I'm Ian Carmel. Yeah, yeah.

Add Ian Carmel across platform. Sure, sure. Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram. Ian Carmel on Jewish Cash App. Jash App? Jash App. Jash App. Jash App? The Jash App, which sends out, gives Jon Hamm's email to everybody.

Shout out to Jash. What do I got coming up? I will be at Florida State University on April 20th. Seven O's. All I know is I'm going to be at Club Down Under. And I've looked for a link for the tickets. And this is where the venue is? I have no fucking idea.

Is it like an FSU thing or is it like anyone? It's an FSU thing, but anyone can go. Sure. That's going to be so buck. And like. No, I know, huh? Wait, let me look. Anyone can go.

Sounds like an FSU thing to me. Yeah, there it is. Fuck it up. Gators. Seminoles, bro. He's a big Gator fan. I'm a big Gator. I was talking about

the quality of student. You know, I went to grad school at Florida State University after I matriculated, got my bachelor's from Murray State. Yeah, yeah.

That was the big joke at Palm Springs. That was back when I was on, back at Narwhal Tech. Yeah, you can't, you can't fucking, you can't talk to me like that. Yeah. I went to, I went to Eastern Michigan University. Dude, I was on at, back at Narwhal tech. Yeah. You can't, you can't fucking, you can't talk to me like that. Yeah.

I went to, I went to Eastern Michigan university. Dude, I was a badger and a Buckeye in the same semester. Yeah. And I got kicked out cause I was laundering money. Yeah. Yeah.

Classic Buckeye behavior. Uh huh. Yeah. So I'll be a gopher club down under, uh, which is at more auditorium on April 20th. I don't know what else. I don't, I have no idea.

The venue is ages 18 and over. Tickets will be free for FSU students with valid ID and $10 to the general public, available for sale day of the show. So there you have it. Either enroll at Florida State University or the day of the show show up come fuck with me $10 American

$10 American it's a fair price and I'll high five like seven of you after the show and I will retreat to my room where I will have

smuggled edibles and then I got nothing else to really tell you all to see me go to Faded on Fridays yeah watch the Lele show with James Corden

do it keep a lookout for that summer tour i'm gonna be at bumbershoot bump i should uh i'm gonna go but that's late summer so i don't know i don't know anyway let's get to the old uh podcast huh shall we no all right dude sean says no yeah i mean okay cool um what do you want to do sean no i'm in all right dude sean says no yeah i mean okay cool um what do you want to do sean no i'm in what were those things you're drinking all weekend the white claws man we were also drinking white claws this weekend that's right but i've had some previous experience shout out to hannah i don't think she even listens to the podcast but shout out for hannah for going to the 715 club in denver and going right up to the bar and saying, give me a vodka white

claw and a shot of tequila. Whoa. A vodka white claw. Whoa. Hannah. We were just having, we were having a few, uh, some white claws. Yeah. Those things, those things.

Cause they, they make you think it's not, they listen, they make you think it's not Colt 45. It's Colt 45. Nan pays a big White Claw guy, though. Dude, that shit will have you, like, fucking singing songs in front of a trash fire. Yeah. It is. It was gnarly.

I mean, it was just, like, real good. I'm down shifting the drinking, so it was perfect for me. Yeah. But they get away. White Claw. I'm like a White Claw in an hour. You're not? Okay.

You're not doing White Claw vodka. I'm not pounding. I'm not pounding White Claw vodka. White Claw, I'm like a White Claw in hour. You're not, you're okay. You're not doing White Claw Vodkas. I'm not pounding, I'm not pounding White Claw Vodkas. White Claw Vodkas. It was fun though, man. We're gathered here today in the fortress of solid dudes, mind you. Shout out to Marissa, Superdude Marissa. Listen to this later, wish you were here, homie. Not only to discuss White Claws,

we're gathered here to draft villains. Villains. Shout out to Shea Serrano, by the way, way from the ringer who has a podcast just about villains all right but all fantasy everything was here first bro we were here first dog we were here first kid we might we might have paulo ugatti locked up in a closet right now so if you say some shit it's going down we'll it's one ringer staff for an hour. We know where they are. I'm not laughing one bit.

We know where they are. All right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, but I love the ringer. I do, too. Oh, yeah, the ringer's on the website. Yeah, absolutely. It's absolutely amazing.

I spend more time there than probably anywhere else. Shout out to Shocker and Jason and the whole gang. We love them all. They're family, man. Shout out to Haley O'Shaughnessy. Yeah, thanks, you guys, so much for coming to our shows. We really appreciate it, actually. We enjoy your content so much.

So when we feel that reflected back at us from you, it just means the world to us. Yeah, it just is really fun to be on this creative ride together in Los Angeles, California. It's really fun. It gets me through a lot. Couldn't ask for a better person in the sidecar while we drive the slow motor cycle.

But fuck you, Shay! Fuck you! Fuck you, dude! Fuck you, bro! Your book is important. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, bro. Your book is important. We're drafting villains. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed all your books.

Basketball and other things. I don't read books. The hip hop yearbook. The dirt. Yeah, I've read the dirt. I'm looking forward to that new book about movies he's got coming up. But fuck you, dude.

But fuck you, man. It's on site, bro. Oh, shit. Now it's been stamped. Now I can't even do anything about it it's on site what's on site a hug dude I really hope shout out to Sean you at the ringer really hope I get to hug Shea Serrano at some point

I bet you will it's on site villains though we're not doing villains in the text messages today we thought about closing the parameters we decided not to we're not having villains we in the text messages that I had today we thought about closing the parameters we decided not to we're leaving it wide open

let the shooter shoot I went I went a direction I'm probably just gonna draft fictional villains but it's wide open it is wide open

it is wide open thank you to the Patreon members for voting on this topic do you know who picked villains I oh yeah

so the thing that won the Patreon vote today was for voting on this topic. Do you know who picked villains? I don't specifically. The thing that won the Patreon vote today was things that we hate irrationally. The worry was that we, that might cue too close to the pet peeves draft. True. So we're going to put a little, we're still going to do irrational hates at some point.

We're just going to put a little more oxygen in between pet peeves in that one. Yeah. Maybe a few more weeks, Maybe next month. Maybe June. Maybe December 1992. You know, when Sean's album came out. Right around, like, a day before Detox comes out.

That's when it's coming out. All of us basking in the glow of the Olympic basketball win in Barcelona. Oh, you must mean Ibiza. Ibiza. Shout out to Matt Braga. Oh, you must mean Ibiza. Ibiza. Shout out to Matt Brogger. Sear, the way we determine the order of the draft

is with a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played between the two of you and we throw and shoot. Trying to find who did it. All right. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Wait, I don't even know why I did that. I don't know. You did. It looked like a rock. I did paper on my chest. Oh, it was paper on the chest. Yeah.

All right, Sean Jordan wins. Sean Jordan wins. Sean Jordan wins. All we need is to not have another person here for me to win. Sure, absolutely. I apologize. At some point, I will find whose idea this was. We'll figure it out. Oh, no, I got it.

It's Ben Oken. Oh, Ben Oken. Shout out to Ben Oken. Shout out to Ben Oken's husband. Yeah, shout out to your husband. Thanks for coming, dude. And the actual suggestion was villains, rapscallions, scoundrels. Real fun.

Oh. Why didn't you tell us? I mean, I thought, you know, villains, rapscallions. It's a horse of a different color. No, I have no rapscallions, scoundrels. Real fun. Oh, why didn't you tell us? I mean, I thought, you know, villains. It's a horse of a different color. No, I have no rapscallions on my door. What's the difference? Oh, I do have one rapscallion. I have a couple that could kind of.

I just thought they were all synonymous. No, dude, a rapscallion is something different. I'm a bit of a rapscallion, but I'm nobody's villain. Okay. That's all right. We'll just do villains. Maybe we'll draft rapscallions a different time. Okay. There's all right. We'll just do villains. Maybe we'll draft, we'll draft Rapscallions

a different time. Okay. There's some crossover on my list. What's the difference? A Rapscallion? More like a Rapscallion. Huh?

More like a Rapscallion. David's a Rapscallion. Wait, what are, villains? I don't, oh, you're trying to, you're trying to get me to say a villain.

You're trying to take me to take some shit out of play? Okay. See, he wins and now it's a mind game. David's a rapscallion. I'm a bit of a scoundrel, and you're a villain for not telling us

the full idea behind the draft today. You motherfucker. Yeah, listen to that noise he just made. Oh, that's more of a scoundrel. Have you done that before? I don't think so, man. I liked it. That's new.

It felt good, though. Yeah. It's better than that fucking Ken Kniff voice. Don't stop it. Do what? I don don't know what you're talking about huh uh no i'm blind as a bet you look good you look good though uh no yes ma'am now sean having won rock paper scissors isn't coming upon you to determine the order of the draft but before you do that i will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what does that mean it's a great question a serpentine draft let's say you're holding a raspberry white claw in one hand and there's a black cherry

white claw on the other hand. Those are two of the flavors. You take a drink of the raspberry white claw. You're like, man, that was really good. I wonder what this black cherry white claw tastes like. Can't, I'm not feeling it. I can't possibly be getting drunk. No.

Take a drink of the black cherry white claw. Double it up. You're like, man, this is there. And then you go to your friend, Nick, he goes, is there alcohol in any of these and he goes yeah there is you should take a drink again so take another drink of the black cherry white claw that's right and you're like i don't nick i don't think there's any alcohol in these i know you're glued to entourage but maybe at least can you check the alcohol content and tell me and he's like yes there definitely is so then you take a drink of the raspberry white claw you're like i like, I don't. I'm telling you.

Before you know it, you're asleep at 930. Holy cow. That about sums it up. Basically, what it means is you pick fourth or third. In the first round, you pick first and the second. I feel it. Sean, knowing that, what will the order of today's draft be? Well, I guess I'll go first. You go first a lot of options well i'll go first david and then ian

uh the corner is so hot yeah yeah you like that one right cool you know before we get to that next pick one second for an ad break this episode of all fantasy everything is brought to you by babble uh if you want to learn a new language The best way is to uproot your entire life You drop everything you're doing Just go to a brand new country You figure it out from there But this isn't the talented Mr. Ripley

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in the villains and only villains, all fantasy, everything draft. Who is your number one pick? My number one pick is going to be T1000 from Terminator 2. Great, man. He was liquid and man. Yeah, that guy was scary. He was, because I was like

terrified. I always felt like he looked like Ivan Drago, but smaller. Yeah, that guy was scary. He was, because I was like terrified. I always felt like he looked like Ivan Drago, but smaller. Yeah, he looked like smaller Ivan Drago. Small Drago. You know what I like about T-1000 is that he wasn't a big actor. No, Robert Patrick, maybe? Maybe. Every time I see him, though, I'm like, that's T-1000.

That's T-1000. He's been in other stuff, but like. Robert Patrick. I like that. I like that. I like that. Like now in movies, like a villain will often be like a big time actor. Like a huge guy. And you're like, oh, I didn't know that so-and-so could be a so-and-so. Yeah.

And you're like, oh, Idris Elba's the bad guy or like whatever it is, you know? And like, no, because you could really get lost. He was so weird looking. And like, I didn't know him from any other movies. But I was like, this guy's a bad dude. Well, and then he wasn't a person a lot of the times he was just a ball of liquid you're like well this this thing yeah is a villain it was so scary and he just killed with no want to regard just like he didn't murdering he didn't even have he didn't even have like like when he was the the

wife and he just killed the husband through the milk. Oh yeah. Like man, he's being different people killing people. And also that's when a bunch of kids started talking about what they thought liquid nitrogen was, which was a real fun part of that movie. Cause it's crazy. Cause they didn't know that all we need to worry about is the gas

nitrogen, AKA NOS. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's another part of the week. That's another part of the weekend, my friend. We watched Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's another part of the week. That's another part of the weekend, my friend. We watched that whole movie. The first one? Yeah.

Ooh, I love it. Yeah, man. Oh, but yeah, T1000, because,

you know, not to name other, you know, villains or whatever, but when you're, you're watching it, you're like, well,

this guy is making me feel bad for the Terminator. Yeah. You know. Which is crazy. I'm scared. And if this guy can't handle him, it took so much to kill him too. The whole, the Terminator. Yeah. You know. Which is crazy. I'm scared. And if this guy can't handle him. It took so much to kill him too.

The whole movie. It's like getting, it's like getting coffee stain out of a mug. It's like the steps you got to go through to kill that guy. Yeah, man. Not worth it. I got to get club soda.

I don't even have any in the house. It's like making homemade lemonade. How many lemons? You know? When somebody, when somebody can run that fast with no expression on their face, that's scary enough. That is scary. When he was just

chasing the cars and you're like, he's not even he's not smiling like a lunatic. He doesn't look upset. He didn't look phased. It was like watching those Kenyans run. Just determination. That's all that was on his face. They look like me on the bus. Like someone talks to you and you're like, no man, I have to get to work. So they're going to get a nod off and that's all that was on his face. They look like me on the bus.

Someone talks to you and you're like, no, man, I have to get to work. They're going to get a nod off in the middle. Yeah, man, T-1000 scared the bejesus out of me. And he seemed like kind of a nice dude. What's bejesus short for? Big Jesus? I don't know.

Baby Jesus? Maybe. I don't like big Jesus. Scared the big Jesus out of me. Someone had to scare him had to scare him not just because it feels like it'd be easy to scare the baby jesus out of you you know dude i fucking dude i almost i almost tripped on a step by the baby jesus come yeah oh baby jesus come back but big jesus i'm talking like whole hog yeah judas turned him in jesus yeah wearing a a, wearing a, wearing a like tank top.

Yeah. You know, an undershirt tank top. Uh huh. Shell necklace. Yeah. Big Jesus, man.

Big Jesus. Big Jesus. Big Jesus. Big Jesus. Big Jesus. Big Jesus. Big Jesus. Billabong hoodie

because it's summertime, but it's chilly. Yeah. It's nighttime. We're at the campfire. Man, that's Billabong. You're describing

a certain kind of person. No, yeah, I totally am. Big Jesus. Big Jesus. You used to bring a gun into my house wearing sweatpants

we're from different places damn big Jesus did that might as well have been called that I'm telling the big Jesus I know this dude I probably won't say his name but he came in strapped one time and I'm like it's broad daylight pretty good yes

seriously that was the joke of course you could see the strap through the sweatpants? Pretty good. Yes. Seriously. Well, I mean, yeah, that was the joke. Of course you could see the strap through the sweatpants. I couldn't believe he had it. I didn't even know he could do that. You can see my dick through sweatpants. I don't remember this, man. And he just comes in and I was like,

it's broad daylight in the middle of a pretty nice neighborhood. Yeah. We're in Sioux Falls. You can't just be walking in here and he's like, it's legal. And I go, I don't, no one's looking at you being like, oh yeah, it's protection. I'm not going to make any grand political statement right now, but guns, not for me, not for me. Nor am I. You know what I mean? Roscoe Pinochet. Anyway, not, oh no, Roscoe no para es me. You know, Jesus didn't need him. I'll get my heartburn from some chicken wings. Thank you very much. T-1000 barely used a gun.

He was all metal, man. Yeah, he was made of metal. He was a gun. Yeah. Oh, that was his thing. He couldn't have any working parts, so that's why he couldn't turn into a gun. Oh.

Yeah, remember that? It had to be like swords and shit. Oh, I don't remember that. The special effects when his face repaired itself. That was scary. When he came out of the floor, when he, you know, came out of the floor, that was like groundbreaking.

Thank God they made the secret world of Alex Mack. So there was a non-scary version of that. Yeah, we needed that. We really needed that. Right, that and Capri Sun commercials. Oh man, remember when they were, oh God, they were so extreme. Yeah.

They really tried to pretend like kids knew how to windsurf in the early days. Yeah, right? Like you even had that option. What cape do you think we grew up off of? Yeah, no, I never knew of a child but no they always it was on all of our sports drinks all of them windsurfing you knew good windsurf big jesus you know who couldn't us on the wakes at lake pahoya speedboats caused no they were like

two foot wakes that was the only thing oregon you really could if you wanted to get into some windsurfing it was it was there yeah they're still doing it yeah it was popping off yeah everything else was popping off in south dakota not windsurfing so anyway 21,000 fucking guns was popping off t1 t1,000 david boy time for your uh first pick so my first pick is a bit of a double villain oh because he's for sure a villain in real life oh i like it but he's also a villain on his television show that he had for years i'm picking bill cosby on the cosby show fuck that dude he was a fucking dickhead he was a fucking dick that whole show his whole personality was like i'm trying to fuck my life and eat sandwiches fuck you kids remember when he called his son stupid so much they finally decided to

get him tested for a learning disorder? That's right. Remember that shit? You remember how he didn't like anybody in his family except the youngest one? And then she got too old and was too dark-skinned, so we only left Raven-Symoné at the end? Fuck that dude, dude.

All he ever did was just be like, get the fuck out of my house, I'm fucking my wife. He wasn't like a great father. He wasn't. He was a dickhead in that show. He was always a dickhead in that show he was always a dickhead in that show playing on respectability politics but the whole time he just wanted to eat and fuck yeah that's all he wanted to do and like who was he wasn't like compare him to a real

father he was better than having no father at home which i guess is how he tricked me but like great job cosby yo yeah so i've been i've been sitting on this for a couple years. No, that's great. I needed a platform. We should have known something was off. Yeah, yeah. Just based on how he chose, he could pick. He was just so condescending. He could present himself however he wanted,

and that was the person he put out there. He was so condescending, the way he talked to everybody on that show. The only person he wasn't condescending he talked to was Claire, and that's because he was trying to fuck. Yeah. He doctor in that show right yeah he's a baby doctor yeah oh is that what he was yeah baby doctor yeah he delivered babies okay i remember seeing what she made on that show once i didn't i haven't seen a lot of the cosby show but i remember as a kid it was on nick at night i've seen every episode and he made a sandwich that made me go up to the kitchen and make a fucking sandwich where i was like yo and then i got up i put salt

on it i'm like it was the first time i really experimented with atypical sandwich stuff pepper and like saying i was like i've never put salt on a sandwich let's try this yeah no my man i mean my man's was fucking he was like yeah he was making Dagwoods back there, but that doesn't excuse. None of it. No. He was a shithead. Yeah. That and he wore a blazer jersey in one episode and that's all I can really tell you about the Cosby show.

Where was it set? Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn. All right. All right. I've seen like every episode. I have not. I think he might have liked Cousin Pam and her friends too.

He was just not, he just wasn't that cool man Was Claire a Lawyer She was a lawyer Yeah Yeah That's a powerful household Yeah Yeah

Yeah maybe they're using Their powers not for good though For sure a villain Off air We know that much Yeah yeah yeah Was there anything else Villainous

Villainous he did on the show I was taking I'm taking it to the small screen I just didn't like the way He talked to people man I didn't like the way he talked to people and he came from a good home his parents would be on that show they were great claire's parents were great i think one was jamaican they were awesome but he was just he was just a dick man he was just a prick on that he was just wasn't cool he just you just call your son stupid all the time guess what that fucks up

our little boys so what about that for real then so which one didn't know he had a learning disability until he got to college or and like somebody in college was like yo you do you have dyslexia and three was like oh no my dad just says i'm an idiot like and he had dyslexia and he had dyslexia the whole fucking time what kind of doctor are you a shit one a shit one shit doctor because you have a job one. A shit one. Shit doctor. Just because you have a job doesn't mean you're good at it. That's true.

That's true. Shane's a comedian. I'm sorry, Shane. I'm just joking. Obviously, you're an amazing comedian. Yeah, he's fantastic. Buy his album. Buy his album.

It's really good. Buy his album. Tell us you're staying at our house if you are, by the way. I'm doing this instead of texting you we'd love to have you just let me know he'll be here in a couple weeks yeah oh yeah it's gonna be awesome yeah i'm gonna give him a big old wet kiss uh bill cosby on the cosby show yeah yeah what was his name on there just dr bill cosby dr heathcliff oh heathcliff huxtable oh boy heathcliff huxtable i forget it was heathcliff heathcliff oh heathcliff huxtable oh boy heathcliff huxtable

i forget it was heathcliff heathcliff is a dope name that is it yeah it's got heath and cliff in it i feel like a bad candy bar and a good candy i'm not all right listen i'm not 100 sure about this yeah but i think i well no never mind this i that's dipping into my shit whoa oh you stand effect yeah i got i got i, I'm, no, no. Go see David who stand up. I mean, I've done, you know, I've done the splits of football. I've told that on here plenty of times. Can I?

No, I just didn't want. It's funny to me every time I think about it. Can I? Why don't you boys take a seat? You can do the splits, right? Can I? Why don't you guys take a seat? I'll be taking the elevator.

You guys ever had your nutsack on the ground? That's the weirdest way to introduce the splits. Oh, gross. Anyways, yeah, that's my first pick. All right. Excellent. Time for my first pick. I feel bad that I didn't disclose the rapscallions thing.

Is that ruining it? No, it's fine. Seriously, don't feel bad. Why would you do that now? We're clearly laughing. I feel bad that I didn't disclose the rapscallions thing. Is that ruining it? No, it's fine. No, it's fine. I feel bad. Why would you do that now? We're clearly laughing. I'm dogging Ben out. I feel bad now.

I didn't give us all. Oh, Ben's fine. All right. All right. Yeah. All right. You know, I hope Ben's fine. Yeah.

Yeah. I like Ben. I'd like him to be doing well. Ben, you okay, dude? You good, Ben? Ben, you all right? Benny! Benny!

Take it. Benny! Benny! Seeing it live. Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny! Benny. Benny. I'm taking, uh, Benny. Benny. Scene of life. Benny. Uh, I gotta take, I mean,

it's the first, it's my first pick. I gotta take, I gotta take number one round talent. I gotta take Darth Vader. Yeah. I'm gonna take that evil motherfucker. He could choke you out without touching you.

Choke you out without touching you. And would, dude, he did it to people on his own team. Yeah, man. He served a higher master. Did you. Choke you out without touching you. And would, dude. He did it to people on his own team. Yeah, man. He served a higher master. Did you ever, have you watched all this? And he killed all those kids.

He killed all those kids. I mean, he was Anakin still. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you, okay. I know, I know. Yeah. But have you seen, have you watched all the new ones? No.

There's the Last Jedi where he, I think it's the Last Jedi where he just goes and they, they just show him on a tear. You don't get to see Vader flex that much. There was a video game where you got to play. I forget what system it was for. One of the newer ones. But you got to play as Darth Vader and just massacre people. It was fucking amazing.

Because he just goes through this hallway. Because they couldn't do this. And when did it come out? 74? Am I a dipshit? 81? No, I have no idea. I don't know.

78? 77? Somewhere in there. I play 77. They couldn't do that shit. And now, with technology, they can just throw them walking through the hall

just fucking throwing people all over the place. Like just what you would think that he's been doing forever. He's terrifying. The outfit is fucking dope. Sure. The weapon is rad.

Yeah. That's the best weapon there is. That feels evil. You know, his backstory was cool. He was complicated. He's got the cape. He's got that cape.

James Earl Jones did the goddamn voice. Which is what you want to sound like when you're old. Totally. If I could get a drop of that. Moonlight Ram. Oh my God. I'm going to beat you with this crowbar. Pretty good?

Yeah. Yeah, I can feel the dreams. I'm here for James Earl Jones actually being here. That was crazy. I want to go to Outback Steakhouse. There is a thing called the Vader Sessions where they take all of his old sound, well, not all of them,

but a bunch of old sound clips and put it over Darth Vader footage. So it's just old shit. Like he was in some movie where he was a pimp. Like Ray Canella. Yeah. And he was like baseball. Just Darth Vader choking someone.

And there's that movie he played a pimp in, right? I don't know the movie, but it's like and he's holding this dude by the throat and he goes, the daddy is the breadwinner. That is. Oh, there's another part. Wasn't he the one who said, they call me Mr. Tibbs.

No, that's Sidney Poitier. I think. Wait, maybe not. Google it. I, that's Sidney Poitier, isn't it? I think. Wait, maybe not. Google it. I've only seen Sidney Poitier in Is It the Heat of the Night? You mean Miami Vice? He plays Detective Tibbs in that. Yeah, it is Sidney Poitier. Yeah, okay. They call me

Mr. Tibbs in The Heat of the Night. Yeah, okay. There we go. In the middle of the night. I'll be walking in my sleep. So, did you know when they made star wars the actor who played darth vader who we later see when he gets unmasked who's that pasty white guy so this tall dude plays him that might even be a third actor but the guy who plays him in the first movie had no idea his voice his voice had been dubbed over until he saw it at the premiere they didn't tell tell him. No way. He was just some British guy.

He was a tall British actor. Damn. You know, who's like, I find your lack of faith in the force disturbing. Luke, I'm your father. I'm your father. Ain't I? Yeah, I'm your father.

The proper force. The purifiers. Go get them. And they watched it, and they were probably like, he's almost perfect. Yeah, what are you supposed to do? And then like moonlight grab.

How does a serious deck of birds own this spaceship? I find your lack of faith in the force disturbing. I find your lack of faith disturbing. Whatever, I'm fucking up. It's been a long day. It's hard to get that timber. It really is. It's hard to like force it there.

That's the tricky part. I can get it that low, but there's no base behind it. You know, it's like a very treble low. Mr. Wazansky. That's the tricky part. I can get it that low, but there's no base behind it. It's like a very treble low. Mr. Wazanski. That's pretty good. Is that what it is? Wazanski? Mr. Wazanski.

Mr. Wazanski. I can't even do it. I got it. I got it. I keep it. Very well then. Two million. You got to earn that base.

Shall we say it? Yeah, you do. I haven't done it yet. Shall we say it? One million American dollars? Very well. Two million. Two million.

Nah, you haven't earned it either. Not say one million American dollars? Very well. Two million. Two million. Nah, you haven't earned it either. Not a one of us. Not even close. No one's ever been like, shit, is it? No, it's Sean. Is it Sean or James Earl Jones? Not like you and Chris Pine where it's just like a daily thing. It's crazy.

Yeah, that is. I got a mistake for Chris Pine eight times today. Eight times. And I was at work. I know all those people. Well, Chris Pine's publicist called you. Yeah. Because you get mixed up so much. Over the phone. Just like at work. Yeah. I know all those people. Chris Pine's publicist called you because you get mixed up so much

over the phone. She's like, Chris, seriously, they're trying to stage a photo shoot with both of us. There's a big

conspiracy thing on the internet. We're like, is he in Carmel Chris Pine? Have you seen him in the same room? And to be fair,

we haven't been in the same room together. Mostly because he goes to the Nobu in Malibu and I go to the Beverly Hills one. That's fair.

Well, you got to keep yourself for Nobu's man. Nobody wants pines colliding like that. We're going to meet up at the Out boo in Malibu and I go to the Beverly Hills one. That's fair. Well, you got to keep your separate no booze, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody wants pines colliding like that.

We're going to meet up at the Outback on the, uh, on brand. What's going down? Yeah, sure. Ballistic X versus seven face to face. Curving bullets.

Yeah. Uh, Darth Vader. He's just, no, Hey, Jeff Hill. I'm in.

He's great. He's fun. It's perfect. So that's my first villain. Okay. My second villain. See, now when you do that,

it's hard for me to not do that perverted voice that I got. I didn't do it, but you know, when you guys dip your feet in the bathtub, I just want to hop in. Uh, my second villain is, is going to be from

the university of New York, Shane Torres from the devil wears prada miranda priestley yeah there you go yeah that's and that's a movie i mean now people know that you love it but that was one that snuck up on me one day where it was on and ian's like fucking love this movie and i just didn't see that happening yeah i love them i think it's fantastic i fucking love it she is terrifying she is in it too. She's got, she's good about that air of unpredictability. Yeah.

Where you're like, I don't even know what she likes. Well, she like, she's setting up like impossible tasks for you to do. Like you got to go to Harry Potter before it's out. And she's playing like head games with everybody. She fucking dogs out.

Uh, what's her face's character? The, uh, yeah. Oh, Emily Bluntunt Emily Blunt's character where she doesn't take her to Paris or whatever Yeah cause she breaks her legs

so she dogs her out so she can take What a ruthless move Right? Broke your leg you're no good to me You're no good to me Like a horse

Yeah That's so Buck I forgot about that She shoots that lady She shoots her She's dead That was the documentary about her.

And then, but like, I mean, they showed just enough of her in that movie to make her like a textured person too. Right. Which makes her. She's Anna Wintour though, right? She's Anna Wintour. Yeah. Stand it.

So that makes her less villainous, but a better character in general. Right. But I just love her villainous traits so much. Well, there's even a, like a part where she gets to, to she she has a part where she could redeem herself she doesn't she says something real shitty in that limo and you're like whoa yeah at the end yeah you're like jesus you don't even take the bait to be good at the end oh she does yeah it was it's nuts and she fucking when uh that's a deep villain shit dude when uh god how am i forgetting the actress's name and hathaway hathaway dude and hathaway because you're you're blacking out i'm blacking

out i had that green i took the green juice to the dome too hard i'm stroked up uh hathaway comes in in that in that blue sweater it just is like clothes are clothes and then streep goes streep on her dude and takes her apart piece by piece like a hog. Just breaks you down like a shotgun. Like a hog getting sent to the market, man. Just like, so you probably think blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Never raises her voice. Keeps it down low in the Giamatti zone.

Dude, and that's a hard zone to keep it in. And just like takes her apart bit by bit, you know? And like, it's amazing. Yeah, I dig it. It's just so fucking scary without ever being like a villain. This is weird. Cause there's three dudes sitting around talking, but like,

there's a lot of villains who are like, you know, very masculine villains who like, you know, there's, there's scary because of power that they wield in a, in a big way, you know,

or like, uh, are scary. Like a T 1000, you know, it was like scary, you know? But like, she's scary. Like in this other way, mental know, or like, uh, are scary. Like a T-1000, you know, it was like scary, you know, but like, she's scary. Like in this other way, mental warfare, very powerful, but just like shows you just enough of the sword where you're like, Oh fuck.

Yeah. No, I'm not going to fight the blood before. Yeah. And it's hungry. Uh, so Miranda, pretty easily. My second pick. Hell yeah. David, time for your second pick.

Oh, my second pick's pretty simple. I'm picking Garfield the Cat of comic strip fame. What? He was fucking so mean. Oh, I guess he was kind of a prick. Yo, you're just in John's house? You're going to talk shit about him like that when he's got dates over?

You're just eating up all the lasagna? You don't have a fucking job, dog? You ate Mondays for what? What was the difference between Sunday and Monday, Garfield? What was the difference? What was the fucking difference? You don't even mean to Odie just a good guy? Odie and Nermal.

Bro, get the fuck out of here. It's like those guys where when you meet those dudes and they're like, I'm just a dick, that's my personality. I'm sorry you don't think enough of yourself to try to be something other than just a dick, you fucking loser. Maybe get a personality, you fat lasagna cramming bitch.

Damn. I never really thought of Garfield like that before, but you're 100% right. Man's was a dickhead all the time. Zach walked in halfway through that, and I think you were talking to Zach instead for about half of that, weren't you? Oh, yeah.

Zach's a no-bid lasagna-eating prick. No, no, no. I love it. man scotty's my man 50 grand but garfield can get it yeah and not in the sexual style no these hands yeah catch a smoke city you know what i'm talking about he was does he even have a job in any of those no iterations never once huge piece of shit He has no reason to hate Mondays It's crazy He does like what you Everybody would want to do If they were like the last person in the world You're like I'm just going to eat and do nothing

Yeah but I would still be nice to my friend He doesn't even Why do they let him live there? That's a great question Why do they still let him live there? That is how some cats are Just clowning John Well then I don't think you should some cats are. Just clowning John.

Well, then I don't think you should have cats. He clowns John in front of his dates all the time, too. That's what I'm saying, dude. That's so disrespectful. In front of my girl? You don't even pay rent, bro. She's always asking me to kick you out. Always asking me to kick you out. And then I come over, I bring you lasagna from my date,

and you can't even be nice? You got to make fun of my suit jacket? John's trying to get some butt. It's flat, but yeah, it's fun of my suit jacket fuck you this strip doesn't exist in time out of here with that man i got no time for garfield those guys who are like proud look i'm an asshole so what i i hate that it's you don't you really don't it's it's not it's not a cool it's like people whose humor is sarcasm yeah must be fluent in sarcasm shut up you corny idiot yeah you know what i figured out sarcasm for Yeah. Must be fluent in sarcasm. Shut up, you corny idiot. Yeah. You know what I figured out? Sarcasm for humor? Seventh grade. Yeah.

You're being mean. Yeah, you're just mean. You're just mean. Oh, is that what it is? Oh, is this your only joke? Is this, we talking this don't and now it's hilarious? You fucking dickheads. But also, I'm not a big Garfield guy. but also I'm not a big Garfield guy.

I've just never been a fan. You don't care for the comics? No. I just don't like it. I just always wanted to see what Beetle Bailey was doing. There's not a ton of funny comic strips if we're keeping it completely out of... I really liked Foxtrot as a kid. I feel like I just liked them because I grew to know the characters.

Like, I don't think I liked Ziggy. Was it like Family Circus, Dennis the Menace? Oh, there's a ton. There's a ton. There were a lot of them. There was Boondocks. Boondocks came around when my parents were still getting the Denver Post. Over the Hedge was pretty funny. It was the far side oh yeah pearls before sign far side was great

far side was great far side is legit very funny calvin and hobbes was very interesting yeah sometimes funny that is some real it's crazy that comic strips are left over and no shade on comic strips do you like him you like him but it's like yeah it does feel very much like a depression era form of entertainment you needed something you needed something to put up in your cubicle that's true to be like haha ziggy just trying to get to friday neither of us can get laid uh-uh that was ziggy's thing right he couldn't get laid i think so yeah it was one of his things which and by the way this isn't like a male-female. I think Ziggy could have fucked anybody. It just seems like he wasn't fucking anybody. He wasn't fucking. Yeah, he wasn't.

Ziggy was an incel. That's my new punk song. Ziggy was an incel! That's it. That's the whole song. That's all you need, man. We're getting into some deep Reddit shit right now. Ziggy's an incel, dude. Ten record deal. Let's do that song 80 right now. Ziggy's an incel, dude. 10 record deal. Let's do that song 80 different times. Ziggy's an incel.

Garfield the Catman. Mean to Nermal, mean to Odie, mean to John. He wasn't ever nice to anyone except for maybe Heathcliff because he just wanted Heathcliff to be on his side. Sometimes they did a couple times on the cartoons. Heathcliff was cool, though. Heathcliff was cool. Heathcliff is a whole other fucking bag of rocks.

It was cool. Have you looked into that shit? No. Not recently. I remember I thought I liked him, but I don't know. Sean O'Connor or somebody, or maybe it's Nick Weiger from the Doughboys or somebody like has done like a deep dive on how weird Heathcliff is. Like, and how like some of it's just like crazy where there's whole strips where there's

like, what's the joke? I'm sorry. There's a character in Heathcliff, I think it's Heathcliff, called the Garbage Apes. Whoa. And they're just garbage apes. They're just apes who like knocking over trash cans. That's the whole thing.

That feels like that guy lived in a neighborhood, maybe, that he didn't appreciate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Garbage, I'm half garbage ape. On my mom's side. I'm assuming it's Italian. It's just, let's do it.

You think it's Italian? We call them apes if we like them. Yeah. Well, sanitation, garbage, you know? Oh,

sure. Oh man. I don't know, man. It's nothing good. It's not talking about Irish folks. Potato peeling, bog goblin.

What's your second pick? Shane always, whatever potato head. Alllin. What's your second pick? Shane always, whatever, potato head. All right, Shane. He himself is half potato head. God, he rules. So his head is the size of a Fiat. I'm picking, there it is. I'm picking Commodus from Gladiator.

Oh, that's a good one. Oh, man. He's got that little Mark syndrome where you're just like, oh, man, all the good guys could kill the shit out of you. You're just a snivelly little- Rich kid. Snivelly little pud, dude. There's the part he's just, he has this complex

because he's just not as good as everyone. Because there's parts in that movie where he's fighting and he's all shredded up. He's a beautiful man. He's got this- Everybody was shredded up back then yeah dude all they did was eat baked cheese and fight yeah nobody was whole yeah he was only shredded yeah he was a villain yeah killed his dad yeah i wanted to have sex with his sister wanted to bone his sister up real bad threatened to kill his nephew because his sister wouldn't have sex with him yeah and then cheated and god knows how many fights so many yeah although i will say his armor was pretty dope

that like in that crazy theater mask yeah it was cool it was like that dusted white gold kind of like he was fresh yeah he was fresh villains are usually more fresh than the villains are fresh absolutely yeah like all my favorite villains are usually more fresh than the hero. Plenty of villains are fresh. Absolutely, yeah. All my favorite villains are usually fresh. Darth Vader. Let's see if Darth Vader looks Skywalker trying to get into a club. Let's see who gets in. Exactly.

Yeah. I'm the force. And then he's like, hey, baby. What's up? We're going to let him in. Darth Vader's got those badges that look like gum, you know, that they have in Star Wars. We're going to let in that tall, silky dude.

What's up, Ransom? Just fresher than wet paint walking down the street. Yeah. How is it looking tonight? Darth and Commodus walking in like, well, take your pick. You know what I mean? T-1000 is literally dripping. Yeah.

He's dripping on the floor. Yeah. Yeah, man. Commodus, he's just like under your skin the whole time. Yeah. The whole time. He is. He's such a great depiction of like a rich kid.

Well, and was he based on like, not that, not that you can, if you're a rich kid, there's plenty of good rich kids. Nothing wrong with you, but like we're in LA. There's,

there's a certain type of prick though. Right. Who could only come from money. Is he based, cause common is based on anyone like any of those old like Caesars or anything. He could be, I don't know. The fact that his name is common and commode is a nickname for a toilet.

It's pretty funny if he's not based on anyone. Yeah. Um, but maybe man, he just, he's just so gross. Yeah. And so like when he's just holding the kid on his lap,

telling a story about like potentially killing his mom to this kid and the kid doesn't get it. He just thinks it's a story. That's it. You know, Joaquin Phoenix is a good actor because between Russell Crowe and Jo phoenix in real life russell crowe is definitely the villain of the two yeah 100 you know i bet joaquin's like a pretty good dude actually yeah yeah but i feel like russell crowe while not maybe a villain is not someone who like you necessarily want to

people a lot and i think yeah but he's austral they going to do? Yeah, I think he's just more of a ruckus. Like, throw the fine across the rime. One of those guys. I mean, that sounds like. I threw it right across the rime. Sounds like a bad dad. No! Our poor Australian listeners.

Not ever. Man. We'll all answer that fine again. There's going to be a reckoning there one day. I know. For all of us. We're going to beat the shit out of us. We're going to beat this shit. We're going to get invited to Melbourne.

You know, I'm like, Oh, Ty, they want to come see. And then we're just going to get killed. They're going to lock us in a cage with five of those buff kangaroos. Yeah.

And one skinny one. Yeah. That skinny one. Cause what's he holding? He's going to be holding spray paint, calling the shots. We're going to get syphilis from koalas. The skinny one's got a chain.

I feel like, I don't know kangaroo setups, but I feel like they got their setup that they could fight with a chain. Yeah, absolutely. They got little paws, right? Oh, man. Can you imagine a buff kangaroo with a chain? Damn, dude.

Like wrapped around his hand a couple times and it's dangling. They're going to what? Like the ninth Hemsworth is going to kill us? Oh, man. Neep. Earl Hemsworth. Still buff, still gorgeous. Oh, God. Like we needed Earl Hemsworth, still buff,

still gorgeous. God, like we needed a Hemsworth doing a kickflip. That's helping out the camp. I'll tell you this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see that fucking Thor's out there doing kickflips.

I'm shirtless. Yeah. We got shown it like nine times this weekend. Yeah. He looked an episode of entourage here. We watched that episode this weekend. As soon as Nick shows up, Sean sees it as like nothing but green lights on the way to Entourage City.

Every morning I would wake up, and early by the way, I'd be getting up at like nine and walk out here, and the two of them are fucking sacked up halfway into an episode of Entourage. That was six episodes later than the one they had been watching when i went to sleep hilarious these two fucking jmucks yeah man we were walking to get coffee just like this sucks i'm trying to be sitting watching you walked around the corner oh yeah not even a block and i'm like man i don't know if we can be outwardly complaining about how this sucks. And Nick's like, it sucks. I don't want to be outside. I don't want to be out here on this perfect ass day.

Commodus, dude. Excellent pick. And your third pick? Commodus. Third pick. And I was having a little trouble with this because it's controversial. I don't know if it's 100% his fault, but I'm saying Predator. Oh, yeah.

Predator's a villain. He's a villain. Yeah, because isn he did he's a hunter he's a hunter but it's like he came from that environment so you know is it his fault he's a villain to me because he just is just he just murders everyone for sport and he's also like one of my favorite he's one of my favorite noise can you do it you can kind of i can oh actually i got the ones and twos. I can turn it up. Let's see here. A little bit. I wish you guys could see shots.

It sounds like a cat purring. It halfway sounds like a predator and like an 18-year-old cat purring. Hold on, I gotta take a video. I know, I can't believe I just made... That's so terrible looking. cat purring. Hold on. I got so gross. I'm going to take a video of you doing this. I know. I can't believe

I just made Marissa. That's so terrible looking. Look at Marissa. There's 50,000 people who have posted it right in their ears. I'm going to post it in the Slack right now

so they can get it. I'm going to try it one more time. Best case scenario, they're in their car. Best case scenario, they didn't hear it and it was just silent

for a minute. All right. Hold on. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. All right. I'm going to hear it, and it was just silent for a minute. All right, hold on. Okay, I'm ready. I'm, okay. All right. I'm going to try it one more time.

Move my stamp off. Yeah, anyway, I kind of sound like Predator. But Predator was just so gnarly, just killed. And at the end, he's just like, you know what? Everybody dies. Yeah. If I got to go, that's like a big dickhead villain move. You can't die and just let yourself be gone.

No, he doesn't self-destruct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he laughs. He uses... Smile, you son of a bitch. Oh, what's the guy's... Oh, what's the... Jesse Ventura?

No, the native dude. The guy that cuts the X in his chest. Oh, that's right. He uses his laugh, and I can't remember what his name is. He recorded it, which is also scary. I mean, he was a great film. That heat vision was scary.

And then it popped up in every video game after that, which was tight. I think what makes him villainous to me is that he scared me so much when I was a kid. Yeah. Because I'm like, can that happen? Because that dude looks unstoppable. His little crab face is gross, too. You see that in the first one? You do, right?

Yeah. When Arnold's like, you're one ugly motherfucker. Yeah. Because Predator takes his mask off like, let's fucking boogie. Let's do this. Doesn't he scream in it? Doesn't he do like a Predator roar? Yeah, he just does a roar.

And he gets like the wide football practice roar going on. Anthony Kiedis dance? Yeah. Like, is it the VMAs? He's awesome. And Predator 2 shows some respect to Danny Glover right well yeah

cause he lives in Lake Oswego also Glover if you don't remember ended up no shirt on in that movie oh yeah

he did jacked yeah pretty jacked for Danny Glover you don't think that Danny Glover is jacked

but he had his moment I just assume that all realistic jacked all famous people at some point I'm like I bet

I bet they were just jacked well i mean if you know you got a movie coming up and then you got three months to do nothing but eat tuna and bench press yeah yeah yeah you're gonna something's gonna happen yeah um he just looks so scary that the way that that laser came out just seemed unstoppable yeah and that's a villain thing where i'm like you can't do anything you can't stop a jungle with predator i would just like i mean all right kill me i'd be like so open to it yeah well that's quick they reside after a while they're just like i don't know

what to do and arnold's like listen we're gonna fucking we're gonna get him yeah you didn't watch your predator clips over there yeah i just uploaded it to the slack so everybody could see you making that weird face he's just your mouth goes really weird yeah it's like in a position it's never in back of your tongue on the punching bag or whatever it is that sounds like a whole that your mouth goes really weird. It's like in a position it's never in. It's the back of your tongue on the punching bag or whatever it is. That sounds like a sex move, but it's not. That's how you make the predator noise. That's my move.

David and I just sound like we're a sleep apnea. Yeah. Predator, right? Yeah, I can't get the punch out. Predator, excellent pick. That would be so funny at dinner. No, I could do Predator. What else do you want to hear?

It's Predator sleeping. Anthony Hopkins. I got him all day. All right. we shouldn't oh that's a villain fuck uh david time for your third pick uh my third pick is and this is a movie full of wavy individuals oh but he was just by far the waviest i'm picking uh dustin hoffman in Hook. Oh, there you go. He was so cool. Bad form, Peter. Bad form, Peter.

He's come up. He was ill. Probably the stiff most on this show. Yeah, I like Hook and I like Dustin Hoffman in it. I love him in that movie because like Rufio was wavy. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Hook was wavier.

Hook was beautiful. He had all that. He was beautiful. But Hook was wavier. Hook was beautiful. He had all that. He was beautiful. His hair was beautiful. His makeup was beautiful. Blowing robes. His outfit, his clock collection was on point. He looked like he was in a Ghostface video.

That's how he was dressed that whole movie. Prince stole his entire look from Hook, dude. Yeah, from Dustin Hart. And a lot of people don't even realize that. Don't look up the timeline. Don't come at me with a fucking timeline. Just let us. We're't even realize that. Don't look up the timeline. Don't look at me with the fucking timeline. Just let us,

we're Chef Curry with the pot right now. God's sake. A lot of people don't know this, that wardrobe was all Dustin Hoffman's. You know how sometimes

you're on TV and they're like, you can bring your own pants? He was like, I got this. He showed up with seven velvet captain's outfits.

Yeah. Yeah. He was just going to wear that that week anyway. The wardrobe person killed themselves. Yeah. He said, we're shooting in Boca. This was what I was going to wear. With Peter, I'd like to have lunch.

Off-camera lunch with Peter. He was just- Poor form, Peter. I watched that movie. Every time I watch that movie, I'm like, okay, if my dad didn't actually turn out to be Peter Pan, yeah, I don't want it to live with Hook, too. What was wrong with living with Hook, you know? It was pretty cool.

I've said this a bunch, but my dad looked like Hook. Oh, that's right. He had that curly hair. He wore a lot of red velvet. Lived on the edge, just like Hook did. There's some differences. They cast that kid pretty well. Because I could buy that

kid being evil in Hook. I can see, like, oh yeah, of course this kid wants to live with the pirate king. But then he grew up and he looked exactly the same. He was in I Can't Hardly Wait. Oh, that's right. Who is that guy? Oh, that's the kid that plays the nerd in Can't Hardly Wait? Yeah.

You're right. That's Jack. Wait, not the kid from what about bob so same kid same kid from what about bob ziggy from what about bob pretty sure that kid crazy it is yeah i i remember nothing from what about bob i've seen it but i i don't remember one thing he's seen 50 times we don't really know what happens i think i saw it too late hey you know by the way a lot of these 70s movies that people swear are classics and then you go and watch them and you're like, it does nothing for you. What are you talking about?

Animal House. Yeah. I'm going to say it's kind of funny. Oh, yeah, that's funny. I mean, Belushi is pretty funny in it. Well, the thing is, there's been so many movies that we've seen that have done the stuff from Animal House better as like an homage.

Certain scenes from Animal House. So when you see Animal House and it's the original, you're like, all right. It's like when I watch Cool Hand Luke. Life is better than Cool Hand Luke. But life is Cool Hand Luke. They're the same movie, pretty much. Sometimes nothing is a pretty cool hand. What?

Is that in Cool Hand Luke? Yeah. Well, life doesn't have that. That's a pretty fucking. That's what the cool hand is. That's a pretty good line. I? Is that a cool hand look? Yeah. Well, life doesn't have that. That's a pretty fucking... That's what the cool hand is. That's a pretty good line. I know. God damn.

That's not in life. Yeah, that's better than life. Well, I was trying to get you back. That's Paul Newman, dude. I'm trying to get you back over here. Now I'm backpedaling. I don't know what to do. He's on roller skates.

I don't know what to do. Sean's blinking all fast. Yeah, dude. I'm going to have to do my RZA impression or something. Damn, dude. Sean went to the second floor of the Fortress. There isn't a second floor, but he's up there. I'm up there with the bats. There's a all fast. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I have to do my RZA impression or something. Damn, dude. Sean went to the second floor of the fortress. There isn't a second floor, but he's up there.

I'm up there with the bats. There's a second floor. There's bats up there. Are there bats? Oh yeah. I see him flying probably once a month. Well, damn,

I see a bat flying there about once a month. Oh, Eric. Yeah. That's not bats. I let a bat sublet our, oh yeah, that's a different,

I let a bat live up there. Yeah. He's the bat from the chilling adventures of Sabrina. He's actually on the come up, yeah, that's a different... I let a bat live up there. He's the bat from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. He's actually on the come up. Oh, that's dope, man. Good for him. He works. Hook, man.

He works. He works a lot in this town. Hook, I liked it. He was just... Nobody didn't like Hook. When I watched that movie... Critics. Critics hated it.

Well, fuck them, man. That's crazy to me when critics... I know. Everybody loves it and the critics pan it. It's like, come on. But here's what I'm saying. In that movie, how much of a villain is he really? It's hard to say.

He doesn't... What did he do? What did he do that was so wrong? He put somebody in the blue box. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they were insubordinate. Yeah.

What are you going to learn? He's a captain. That's how they taught him at captain school. Captain of style. He kills some little boys. Those little boys kill grown men. They say it all the time. You look like a pirate. We kill pirates.

Nobody's hands are clean. No. You know what I mean? I smell what you're stepping in, man. You ain't got to convince me. Captain. And yet, didn't he have an alliance with the Native American,

the Native Neverland? There was something going on. He was definitely a political beast, you know? I don't know where the mermaids fell on that spectrum, but they were involved. I think he was genderqueer. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think they were. I mean, there's an argument to be made. I can't call it any way with him. I think he just liked to get it. He didn't feel like he needed to call it out. There's an argument to be made. He was wearing wigs and dresses the whole time.

He was just a person of passion. It was almost like a, yeah, it was like a Velveteen Dream Prince kind of vibe to him. He wanted to have sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet Hulk had a beautiful saying voice. I thought you were going to say penis. Beautiful penis, too. The penis had a mole, you know?

A little beauty mark. That's just a mole. Speaking of all that, it's time for my third pick. With my third pick, one that just occurred to me. Right out of the blue I love it when that happens I'm taking Ursula the Sea Witch

from the Little Mermaid fuck yeah fuck yeah I thought I was gonna be able to get it you poor unfortunate soul god damn Ursula the fucking Sea Witch she was so good

I guess I've seen you get David and I've seen you get, I thought I had it, man, man, wild. I can't like Ursula see, which was out here representing for all the, all the,

I mean, definitely the women especially, but all the like fat, dramatic, atypical people who always get looked over for the skinny, hot fucking redhead with a beautiful singing voice. You know? Man.

Yeah. Just finally, just out to just trying to get a little equality, a little justice, you know, it gets painted as a villain, but I don't know if Ursula wasn't. She just had to go take it.

Yeah. You know, I mean, Flotsam and Jetsam seemed to like her. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. No,

I know she was cool, man. Yeah. I'm in. And she her. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. No, she was cool, man. Yeah. I'm in. And she was just a boss, dude. Total boss. She really was. Boss of the ocean. Dressed cool.

Looked cool. She was purple. Yeah. What was the deal? She made the deal with Ariel that she made the whole deal, right? Like, I'll give you feet, but you lose your voice? Is that what Little Mermaid was? Yeah. And Ursula captained the deal, right? She was the quarterback give you feet, but you lose your voice? Is that what Little Mermaid was? Yeah.

And Ursula capped in the deal, right? She was the quarterback? Yeah, she got in the deal. I think so. Yeah, she had a voice in the seashell necklace. Yeah. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like you were having a stroke. Bad podcast. Do the lowest thing you can do. That sounds funny. Oh, you sound like that. What's that song? Once there was this boy who got into an accident and couldn't go to school and well, they finally came back. His hair had turned from black into white.

That's Bruno Mars, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bruno Mars? Why do you guys thought Bruno Mars was here? Bruno Mars' dad, Youngblood Mars. That grenade song, yeah, yeah. Bruno Mars? A lot of you guys thought Bruno Mars was here in this team. Bruno Mars' dad, Youngblood Mars. That grenade song. Yeah, dude. That grenade song.

Damn, Ursula. Yeah, Ursula the Sea Witch. Fucking great. I like a villain who can fucking sing. And Harvey Fierstein is going to play Ursula. I forget who's playing the Little Mermaid. God, that's awesome. But Harvey Fierstein's playing fucking Ursula.

Is it like off-Broadway or like here in LA no we should maybe go actually yeah I would absolutely love to go to that Harvey Fierstein you poor unfortunate soul we don't even have to go I'll do it right here I was gonna say Harvey came to us Ursula Seawich my number three pick

shit fuck I had to add her but that means somebody's getting bumped off the roster Harvey came to us. Ursula Seawich, my number three pick. Shit. Fuck. I had to add her, but that means somebody's getting bumped off the roster. Yeah, I just had to make a quick turnaround, but I think I did all right. All right, cool. I think I'm going to be all right. My fourth villain.

Newman. Whoa. Newman from Seinfeld. Squirmy little prick. Was he a villain? Oh, Newman was a fuckingmy little prick was he a villain? Newman was a fucking villain Newman was such a villain he was constantly conspiring against Jerry always wanted to fuck Jerry up

always and he was like in cahoots with Jerry's best friend that's some villain shit where you're like I'm going to be best friends with your best friend I'm going to get in his head because he knew Kramer was very impressionable and could be led in so many different ways and newman would fuck with kramer too remember when kramer sold all his good stories and then newman sold kramer his stories they were all about like foot problems and stuff like that yeah yes i do yes and newman was like like, exactly. A man with no country.

Oh yeah. There is. And rude boy always points this out to me. There's an episode of Seinfeld where Newman comes tearing ass around a corner running and he runs, he runs so much faster than you think he can run. He's waiting. Not when I think he was always do.

He is tearing ass down the street. I forget the episode. He's like running from the fireman or something, but yeah, he just comes around the corner. Like he's in a car, like he's T-1000. He could rival a T-1000,

but yeah, he's the best. All of them. He's so great. He just, he's got that. He's got a fun, uh,

their rapport is the best too. Yeah. Hello, Jerry. I love the legend. Like, uh, there's that episode where like, uh, Kramer says Newman, he can climb trees like a ring tail. Yeah. Hello, Jerry. I love the legend. Like, uh, there's that episode where like, uh, Kramer says, Newman, he can climb trees

like a ringtail lemur. He's a fantastic tennis player and stuff. Like a ringtail lemur. Just picture Newman just shimmying up a tree like hella fast. His rants are amazing too. Yeah. He's i mean he's really funny uh the whole postal service thing is hilarious repping the postal service yeah till the just till the till the day is done he is the best and his just his like horrible apartment it's just funny to think that him and jerry live in the same building yeah that

show i mean jerry's a comic how much is he making i mean yeah well i think it's a pretty big comic yeah yeah oh yeah i guess he's every week he's always on the night show and like yeah playing all over the place and back in the fucking early 90s what is that 250 000 a year yeah back when they were getting dough for three grand a week to feature going from the airport in a limo. God. Can you imagine that? Remember? Oh, yeah.

God. Remember when Kramer gets, like, too tan and then Newman wants to eat him? Yeah. That's villainous shit. When he's cooking him, he's putting, like, carrots in the hot tub and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right. That is right. But, yeah, Newman, just the perfect foil. I've always, like, he's hilarious when he shows up just uh and he's uh just a funny looking little evil guy yeah perfect yeah newman that's my a fourth pick david time for your fourth pick you're not cruel off and that was gonna be clutch for me but i came back from the movie star trek first contact the borg queen, the Borg Queen. Man, the Borg Queen. She was scary as fuck, dude. And she was sexy as hell.

Like, you really thought her and Picard were going to hook up. Dude, if you guys don't know her, look her up. She, like, had wires coming out of the top, so it sort of looked like hair, but she sort of looked bald. And just the way she walked was super elegant and scary. She's gnarly looking. Let me see. You got pictures. Oh just the way she walked was super elegant. She's gnarly looking. Let me see. You got pictures.

Oh, dude, try to get some video. Try to get some video of the Borg queen, dude. And she was always wet, which I feel like is good for a villain. She is always wet. Yeah, being wet is good for a villain. I like it when villains are always wet. I always look at her. Dude, look at her teeth.

Look at Picard. Look how sexy she is, though, too. But she's also part machine. She is the Borg That's where her allegiances lie The Borg are all one person right It's like a hive mind I think Look up

First Contact Very fun Star Trek movie Cause the new ones are like A little too cartoony for me And the old like Rathacon is like So 80s or 70s or whatever but first contact was right in that like next generation because i fucked with next tng pretty heavy and uh yeah i just love that movie i saw that movie in theaters but like oh yeah this

is when she put the juju on data oh yeah this is when she comes out dog look at this look at this regal oh no that's not her that's just one of the other boards Oh yeah, this is when she comes out, dog Look at this, look at this Regal Oh no, that's not her That's just one of the other boards Yeah, you know what I'm talking about Did she fuck Data? I put a spell on you And now you're mine

No, she didn't fuck him She loved him though, because he was such a specimen But this movie is also, the guy who played the captain Was really good in this movie The board captain? No, the captain, the guy who played the captain was really good in this movie. The Borg captain? No, the captain, the guy who made First Contact. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because they had to come to Earth and sober him up and make sure that he's still.

You've got to watch First Contact if you haven't seen it. It's really great. But the Borg queen's entrance, she was just like, oh, man. She was just so slithery. She's about to walk in. Like, otherworldly dude like and it's like and like even as a kid hot yeah i'm gonna tell you the truth queen i like it man i mean i haven't seen the pictures i don't want her to be hot but i can see i like a little

sexy with this whole clip gonna be called the board queen enters and there's no dude oh i think they got you good i think they got you good but yeah i think they got you good car wheel oh okay here it is here she is yeah look at that okay they can't see what we're looking at but oh yeah yeah she's not even on her body but it's sexy it's just a disembodied spine look at it top of the head but now she comes out oh like a crang thing oh yeah oh gosh into that weird body oh she looks so tough though too everybody remember to look this up uh because you probably are not look up star trek first contact dash the borg queen part two why did it give like why why would the borg have boobs but she does and, and God bless her for it. But like, it's interesting, right? What do the Borg need boobs for?

And just like, if you hear her voice, it was just so sinister. Really? Like, it sounded so inviting when she was talking to Data, but you can hear like the evil just lurking around the corner. Because that's what I want. I want you to almost seem like you could be, a good villain could be anything to you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They could be anything to you yeah yeah they could be anything to you but the deception is part of it yeah like maybe they're your lover maybe they're your friend right maybe they're your worst enemy they make you question alliances yeah maybe sean's a villain dude i'm liking this title it might be me looking how much i don't look like one you don't look like one that's the number one thing we've all been thinking zach is the villain and he might be he probably still is maybe you guys are in cahoots. He's in there screaming into a pillow right now, I guarantee it. No.

I'm taking the Borg Queen. She's just icy. Icy is almost a good word for it. Sure, sure. An icy Borg Queen. John Cullen, icy Borg Queen. With an eight pack, too. Oh, yeah.

Sean, time for your fourth and then your final picks. As it is. My fourth pick, I'm going to pick Oren Ishii from Kill Bill. I just love her, man. I love that role. Yeah. From jump, when I saw Lucy Liu

in that role, I was like, fuck yeah. And when she gets up, the power move, when she does that, dude says something. Oh, runs across the table. She doesn't run. She just, I mean, gets there, but she's not running. She's just like doing the pitter patter, like, boom. Yeah. Cuts his fucking head off like anybody else. That's when she goes, now does

anybody else have anything else? Touch day! And like freaks out. Yeah. I love it. And she's dope, man. The control until that moment. Yeah. I think that might be a run. The control until that moment. Yeah. Yup. I just think that might be a run. I just think that's how like samurai ninjas run. Yeah.

Like I thought it was because she was in those slippers. Yeah. And those little like, uh, yeah. Yeah. Me. I'll post it.

Some footage of her wearing, uh, those like the, just the tiny little run. So those ones with the, like the wooden blocks on the bottom. I don't know,

but she, yeah, just the, like those slippers that we're thinking of in fact in Seoul Korea when Taekwondo was invented they used to cut the backs it was

they used to cut the backs off their sandals so they couldn't back up in battle if they backed up they'd fall backwards I mean that was the theory I guess you could figure it out if you were really they fought sean studied taekwondo theory at evergreen state community college that's why they kicked me out of gonzaga they're like sean it's not a real class did they do that he's like go zag i was like fine i go to wake forest anyways you guys can blow i gotta give a fuck like i, I give a fuck. I'm sitting here going

to the University of Central Florida and you're talking to me like I didn't just graduate from McAbee State? I got into the ITT Technical Institute. Look it up, bro. Like I'm not a Georgia Tech legacy over here. Any frat. I'm not taking one class at Syracuse and one class at Pepperdine on the same day.

Pepper that in. Auburn, bro. Show me the tree. You know? Did I Auburn, bro. Show me the tree. You know? It's the right one. Did I get it right? Auburn with the tree? I think so. Yeah, I think I got it right.

Yeah. War Eagle. Roll Tide. War Eagle, Roll Tide. War Eagle's Auburn. Roll Tide. Alabama. Alabama, yeah, sure.

I'll go to both. Yeah, dude. I'll double dip. Yeah, man. Or Anishi. She rips. Miami of Ohio. Or Anishi.

She dies in a gnarly way, too. I won't say it, but like. Oh, yeah. When she dies. I don't know if anybody's going to go. It is fucking gnar-nar. And your final pick? It's tricky, man.

My final pick, I'm going with a fun villain. Me? Is it me? It's not you. All right. My final pick is Jafar. Oh. Jafar.

Just because I wanted you to say it I love a purple red based villain yeah man speaking of Prince Jafar is Prince Jafar and Captain Hook that's Prince baby Jafar I don't know how Jafar couldn't convince

more than just Iago like Jafar was silky smooth dude silky smooth you're telling me Jafar didn't sing R&B? Do you know how hard it would have been to manicure that facial hair back then? Oh my God. There's no electric clippers? No.

How the fuck did he do it? That's the wild thing about- Ancient Egyptian secret. About back then. When you look and you're like, nobody, nobody. If you were attractive back then, you sold your soul to Jafar. I don't know how you became attractive. Well, I think attractive is a thing that's only

Well, okay, okay. I guess what I maybe I should say, like, just basic teeth. Your teeth. What are you cleaning your teeth with? Do they have toothpaste? Did you see Jasmine? That's what I'm saying. I don't think Jasmine looked like that. The painting was foing. Did you see Aladdin, for that matter?

Aladdin's sexy. I believe that everybody was in extremely good shape. He was staying one jump ahead of the bread line. No carbs. Had to. You know what I mean? Atkins. You know, I steal only what I can't afford.

Yeah. That's everything. That's everything. That's a little street rap. You know, Jasmine's dad wasn't, like, especially hot. No. But he was a salt man. But he's cute.

Yeah, he's cute. He is cute. And you can lock it down if he's cute. Yeah. I'll tell you that movie. He's cute. Cute and rich is better than a lot of people. It goes a long way. That's cute. You can lock it down if he's cute. He's rich. Cute and rich is better than a lot of people. It's a long way. That's like me.

I'll be at that movie. Front row, center, opening day. Maybe not front row. Middle row, center. Will Smith abomination? I'm pretty excited about the movie. Boy, I'll be there week eight. Screener. I'm excited about the songs. They're going to be so good. I'm excited about The Lion King. I don't know how I feel about Aladdin. I'll cry the whole time at the Lion King.

Aladdin looks like it's going to be a fucking mess. Dumbo does too. Dumbo looks like a fucking mess. I can see Dumbo. Doesn't it have DeVito in it? It's got Colin Farrell. It's got a bunch of people in it. We're sitting here and Ian's on his phone

and the Dumbo preview comes up and he's like, ugh. I don't like movies whose whole thing is lit weird. It's a Tim Burton joint, man. I mean, he's lit weird. He is lit weird. He is lit weird.

If they don't have the pink outfit. Yeah, he's like Huff and Duster. You know what I'm saying? He's getting lit weird. Falling into a K-hole. Like, Tim, you got to direct. Oh, I'm ready to direct. I'm lit weird. The movie's done. You've never even met Colin Farrell.

He's in the movie. Then. It's in the can, as they say. Jafar, dude. I like Jafar. He's got spells up his sleeve. Yeah. He's just devious.

Wait, does he want to marry Jasmine? Yes. But to take over the kingdom, right? Or is it? Well, yeah, I think he wants all of it. He's just, he wants everything. I don't Yes. But to take over the kingdom, right? Or is it... I think he wants all of it. He wants everything. I don't see a scenario where she doesn't end up with him. He dresses way better than Aladdin.

Aladdin wears the same pants for the whole movie. Not that Jafar goes through an outfit change, but you know he's got a long... If there was a scene in Aladdin that got cut out where it was just him walking down the same closet for three minutes, no one would be surprised. Aladdin is his pants look like if Malloy filled his joggers up with a bunch

of coins or something. He's tall and skinny. Look like Matt Barnes, but with Prince's outfit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Probably Matt Barnes. No, not the guy that played for the Spurs. No, he did look like, no. Yeah. Right. I don't know if he. Matt Barnes. No, not the guy that played for the Spurs. No, he did look like Matt Barnes. Yeah, right. I don't know if he played for the Spurs. Well, anyway. He played for the Lakers, right?

He played for the Lakers. Played for a lot of teams. Okay. Not the Spurs, I don't think. But maybe the Spurs. And he looked like Aladdin or Jafar. I'm lost. Jafar.

All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're thinking of Manu Ginobili. He looks like Aladdin. He does? Like Aladdin. Yeah, he used to be a prince like if if Manu Ginobili

shaved his facial hair Manu Ginobili is Aladdin with Jafar's facial hair that's the issue yeah hall of fame with that guy

yeah man Jafar yeah nice yeah Dave time for your final pick I gotta I gotta I'm

I think it's a great fifth round pick. I gotta close with her. I'm taking Cruella DeVille. Ooh. Yeah, yeah. Cruella DeVille. She doesn't even need to be a cartoon because, was it Parker Posey played her? No, Glenn Close.

Glenn Close. Boy, is that a hard mix up. I don't know what happened there. You're the first one. Parker Posey. Man. I don't know what happened. Wait,'re the first one. Parker Posey. Man. I don't know what happened. Wait, no, it was Magic Johnson that played her, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was Magic. Just a bit outside. God. Tried the corner and missed. Anyway. Yeah, Cruella DeVille. She just, like, wanted to be fresh. She was clearly just, like, old, timey, rich.

Yeah. Just a bitch. Yeah. She was just drinking everywhere and smoking remember she just walked into the house Roger darling she's just like it's noon I'm trying to have kids here

you're in here wasted I had to lock Pongo and Perdita in the basement because they're scared as hell you have a wild energy that excites and scares dogs. That is a weird thing when you look back when you're a kid and you're like, remember seeing drunk adults who are like

fucking drunk at noon. It was Cruella De Vil, dude. Because she was so tiny too, but it was like it probably didn't take too much. Yeah, but it's something about it too where I still kind of like her. She's absolutely pickled. She's like if Leggero went too Leggero.

Outside of making a jacket out of puppy fur, she's pretty tight. Independently wealthy. Yeah. You know what I mean? She doesn't need anybody. She had those singing Siamese cats. Yeah, we are Siamese, if you please. You're telling me.

We are Siamese, if you don't're telling me we are Siamese if you don't please. You're telling me she doesn't get them to Ibiza in this world? Absolutely. They're twin DJs up there making a bunch of money right after Deadmau5. They're playing the main stage. Siamese Dream.

Right after. Do you think you're better off alone? If you please. What? Are you ready? Be the turner. Are you ready? Jafar. Abiza Turner. Jafar.

Moonlight. Graham. Dude. Fire. I wish the door was open and the dude in the motorcycle could see what goes on over here. As opposed to what goes on in his world. Yeah. Where he drives that goddamn motorcycle and ruins our night.

Which is just up and down the street. Right down the house over and over again. That was wild. Hell yeah. We should become EDM DJs. Major laser. Man, I think we could be good at it. Yeah.

We should become the first acoustic EDM DJs. Oh, but then we would do it at parties, like shitty dudes with guitars, too. Oh, yeah. Like, we just see each other, oh, is that, Ian, what are you, and then we just start tuning up,

just like. Maybe we just, you know, let's just do the, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim,

scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim, scrim,rimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, scrimp, Revolution! Jafar! That's in every song we hear. Yes, sir! Jafar!

Jafar! Oh, my God. What? Yeah, Acoustic EDM DJs, look for us at Coachella 2044. Yeah, we'll be there. We'll be there. Right after my album comes out. Oh, boy. Corelle DeVille., we'll be there. We'll be there. Right after my album comes out. Oh, boy. Cruella Deville.

She doesn't scare you. No evil thing will. Oh, boy. She's like a spider waiting for the kill. Oh, man. That was tight. All right. Time for my final pick.

The final pick of the draft. Damn. It's hard to land. I've got three that I really want to pick. And I can only pick one of them. Because those are the rules that I made up. Well, the NBA made up. Oh, the NBA.

Those are the rules that I made up. Those are the rules that David Stern laid down. Sternly, by the way. At my bar mitzvah. When you became a man that day. When I became a man that day. In 1997? Good year for that.

All right. With my final pick. God damn it. It's hard. All right. I'm taking bowser oh yeah the king koopa himself bowser from the mario brothers video games now here's why he's so fucked up he's constantly kidnapping princess peach right all the time which is evil in and of itself but then this motherfucker has the nerve to show up at tennis he has the nerve to show up at these go-kart races yo he fucking kidnaps this woman on the regular and then he shows up for like the fun and games he just it's like it's like when

some dude cheated on his girl real bad and it's like bro you don't just get to come to karaoke yeah you can't just come hang out. It's weird that you're here. We're friends with her. You really stepped a big line. She comes to this go-kart trip. Yeah. To forget about you. Okay, so now we just all got to race with you.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. You're still friends with Luigi because you guys text sometimes? You said when he cheated on his girl real bad. You know, there's degrees. But it's just like, that's funny, man. Nah, you cheated a little too hard. He's out there launching turtle shells at her?

Get the fuck out of here, dude. That is funny. He just pulls up in his whip like, what's up, Mario? Oh, you're here? What the fuck are you doing here? How's my side piece living? And then he just peels out. You know you're a piece of shit because Yoshi won't even let you ride him. Yeah, right? Man, that was another thing that used to scare me,

getting to Bowser in Mario 3. I liked that whole level, because if you warped, you get the sneak peek up on top. Yeah. And when you're actually in there, you're like, this is intense. And we'd always shut the lights off and shit.

That's the problem with that warp is you're not ready for it. You got to work up. Yeah, and you think you are, but then they just let you see it. That's the lesson you got to learn in life. There's no flutes in real life, man. You think you just want to do something?

No. You can't just beat Mike Tyson because he went to Taibo today. No, you can't. No, you can't. Sometimes you talk the wrong kind of shit to the person on the phone. They come over and slap you and make you cry and tell you they're going to kick your teeth out. You got to learn sometimes. Sometimes.

But you didn't eat dirt. You know? You have an opportunity for once in your fucking life to make an on-topic denim, denim, denim joke, and you don't do it. You blow it, dude. That's what happens in real life sometimes. Sometimes you're just wondering where this is all going. You feel like you're doing good right now.

There's a joke about that? It just feels rudderless sometimes. Yeah. Are you going to ask it? Ask what? Ask the... The sphincter says what? Come on, buddy.

Are you going to do it? You're not going to blow it now, are you? I was reading a while... I mean, it was like a year ago, but I was reading this 101 Mario Jokes book. And if that's the one you're talking about, do you know who Mario's favorite late night host is?

Who? Letterman, Letterman, Letterman. Corden fits perfectly. Oh, shit! Wow! Shit! I gotta go. Leno even... Corden fits perfectly. Oh, shit. Yeah, boy. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

I got to go. Leno even. Leno, Leno, Leno. Yeah. Yeah. I got to go. And Mario said the one. The one. The one long one.

The one that's clunky. Carson, Carson, Carson. Fallon works. Conan, Conan, Conan. Letterman's the worst one. Sambi, Sambi, Sambi. Even that works. Noah, Noah, Noah.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Yeah. Beep, beep. Damn.i, Sambi, Sambi. Even that works. Noah, Noah, Noah. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Yeah. Beep, beep. Damn. Damn, dude. Yeah, sorry, everyone. And, by the way, it wouldn't have been Letterman because, like, Mario was a dumb Italian plumber, so you know he was watching Leno.

Just cracking up and jaywalking. Yeah. What if this is how I get fired? Huh? From your Mario, your Mario Leno comments. What if this is how I get fired? From your Mario Leno comments. It's not even the Italian part. It's making fun of Leno. Yeah, I really, I screwed the pooch on that one.

That is on me. Carpool, carpool, carpool. Any one of them except for Letterman would have worked perfectly. Yeah, Bowser, dude, he's fucked up. The fact that he wants to be a villain and a friend, it's like that's the most fucked up thing of all. That is a selfish villain. Yeah, dude.

So that wraps up the draft. I like it. Just to recap, Sean, you went first. You took T-1000. And then Commodus. And then Predator. And then O. Yeah. And then Commodus. And then Predator. And then Odenishi. And then Jafar. Yeah.

That's actually, man, Jafar's got no place at that table. Jafar! Just like, Jafar, go get drinks or something, man. What are you doing here? Dude, Jafar owns that table. David, you went second. You took Cliff Huxtable, as played by Bill Cosby.

Garfield the Cat. Hook, as played by Dustin Hoffman, the Borg Queen, and then Cruella DeVille. Yeah, that was really wild. That's awesome. That's a good list. Her name is Cruel D. Evil. That's awesome. Cruella.

You know why? Her last name is Godgiven wasn't even DeVille. She just likes Cadillacs. Yeah. One of those Snoop DeVilles. Snoop DeVille. I went last. I took Darth Vader, because I'm basic,

Miranda Priestly, Ursula the Sea Witch, Newman, and then Bowser. Hell yeah. The King Koopa. Yeah, dude. Darth Vader had to be taken. Had to. Yeah, what are you doing?

You've got to tip your cap. Obviously. We left some amazing ones on the board. The Vader had to be taken. Yeah, what are you doing? You gotta tip your cap. Obviously. We left some amazing ones on the board. The ones I was struggling with the most, I wanted to take Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons. Oh, man. Because I like a theatrical villain, but I had Ursula already. Yeah. And then Hans Landa from Inglourious Bastards.

Oh, that's a good one. He's a scary Nazi. Which one is he? Oh, is he... You know, he's the main guy. The Jew hunter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his name in the movie? I didn't know that.

Hans Landa. I didn't even know he had a fucking name in that movie. Oh, yeah, he's got one, and it's scary. It's Hans Landa. He's terrifying in that movie. He's also got a pipe, which is very silly. That's what was so scary and villainous about him. He was clearly very smart and cultured.

And chose to be that way. He wasn't raised in ignorance or anything. Which is what Nazis were really like. Yes. Chose like, no, this is the yeah, that's insane. Scar, we left on the board. Yeah. Yeah, I had Kaiser Sosa. Oh, yeah. Caster Troy would

have been a tight one. The Devil. The Mean Girls. The Devil would have been good. Yeah, I had Regina George on mine. Yeah. The Grinch. I had Jim Carrey from that Jim and Andy movie Oh really Yeah he's a fucking villain Hans Gruber Hans Gruber

Mr. Tukagi Mr. Tukagi Mr. Potter What are you doing here Mr. Tukagi So good. Hurr, hurr, hurr. Letterman, Letterman, Letterman.

I can't believe it. Yeah, fuck that. Letterman, Letterman, Letterman. I'll take my medicine, man. I get it. I gotta get a root canal next week, so that's my punishment for that joke. They were just in the wrong order.

You're putting it on that. I got this new root canal next week. I'm distracted. My wires are all... Sorry, man. I can't be held responsible. I got a root canal next week, man. What?

That's a fucking... Man, I know some kids who would make that excuse. No, man, I got a root canal next week. I can't even go with you. Good to be back in the lab with you, dude. Send us your villain pics. Hit us all up individually on Twitter at all fantasy pod. Send us emails,

all fantasy podcast at gmail.com. Sign up for the Patreon. If you haven't yet, we're a little late on the watch along, but it's coming soon. And did we drop that bonus episode already? Going to do it in like an hour. Great.

So we're going to drop for the patron as an apology for being late on the watch along. We're dropping a exclusive live episode that we recorded here in Los Angeles with Jason Concepcion. Very drunk. It was really good though. It was really good. We were having a good time.

I was nursing some emotions. Yeah, we went bowling that day. We had a fun little day. So that's coming out on the Patreon the slack is popping yeah we got

watch alongs and mailbags coming out shout out to super producer Marissa shout out to the AFE subreddit shout out shout out to everyone on Twitter

everyone on Instagram hitting us up I'd also be remiss if I didn't say rest in peace Nipsey Hussle oh my god damn

rest in peace Nipsey Hussle took a real big my God, damn. Rest in peace, Nipsey Hussle. Took a real big loss on that one. Real big L for everybody involved. Hug your loved ones. Seriously. That sucked. No, seriously.

Yeah. Call someone, tell them you love them. You never know, man. And invest, man, if there was one message he was trying to give you. Invest in yourself and your community, yeah. Yeah. So shout out to Nipsey Hussle for that, man.

Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Sue Carmel. Oh, there she goes. There you go. Yeah. Shout out to Ivan Carmel cooking sous vide.

That's a way to feel free. I get it. He was catching some heat on the internet today, and I had to come down hard on some AFV fans. That's right. A little bogus. Yeah. Then I said I didn't mean it,

but I did. I meant it. You guys are bogus coming at Ivan Carmel like he's already 10 steps ahead of you. You cook sous, you haven't cooked sous

the right way. Ivan knows what's up. He does. He wears a clock so we know what time it is. That's right. He knows already. Yeah.

And more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. Shakerhedi! that was a hate gun podcast