All Fantasy Everything - Viral Video Tropes (w/ Gareth Reynolds)

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

We watch 'em, we love 'em, we draft 'em.Episode Guest:Gareth Reynolds (X @reynoldsgareth, IG @reynoldsgareth)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all fantasy everything. The podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture. On today's episode, we're drafting viral video tropes. And our guest today is the stand-up comedian and podcaster, Gareth Reynolds. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. stand-up comedian and podcaster, Gareth Reynolds. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me, as always, are my dear friends and stand-up comedians,

Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is doing the welcome thing again. You're screaming again. You got it back in Phoenix, didn't you? I'm yelling. I got it back in Phoenix. I fell back into the groove. Why do I have to stop doing it just because everyone else is starting their podcast by yelling welcome you don't I don't yeah that's our point

yeah right who am I if not a trend follower that's ha no trend follower a lot of people are concerned about the setting of trends no no no no no no I've picked up on some of the best trends out. Okay. Lenny Kravitz.

Anybody watch the Grammys last night? Lenny Kravitz. So when this comes out, we're recording it the night after the Grammys. Just whoever can locate us. I don't know. He just... Since we watched so many Michael Jackson videos this weekend, he looked like Michael Jackson dressed in 1987 last night.

He had like a mesh shirt. He had buckles on his pants. I thought he looked like michael jackson dressed in 1987 last night he had like a mesh shirt he had buckles on his pants i thought he looked like one of the black eyed peas who wasn't will i am like it was like that kind of outfit like the dead guy the dead guy looking guy you must not be named do they have names yeah they do apple to app and uh oh yeah want to feel. Exactly. Oh, yeah. He looks. Yeah. Wow. God, he's old. Isn't he like almost 60? He's so attractive. I mean, that is really crazy. He's almost 60 and

he still has like an intriguing belly button area. You know what I mean? When you look at it and you're like intrigued, you're like, oh, what else? Whereas anyone else by that age has a repelling belly button area. Yeah, he's got a good plan for when that fades, too, which is he can always just pull the rip the pants cock drop out, which he did, which is a great closer.

I mean, that is a fantastic closer. Look, I mean, that is crazy. He only eats like nuts and berries from the forest, though, right? He doesn't. Well, I think it's working. I think he does. I think he like walks amongst the underbrush yeah he's squirrel he's been foraging since like 84 yeah yeah he did like an architectural digest he lives in like the forests of brazil is that right i did see that he lives exactly where you think lenny Kravitz lives In a patchouli forest in Brazil

Yeah you have to take like a prop plane to get there That means like a little one that they just use For close ups You actually go to Rio and you enter through an old woman's bookcase Yeah Then you have to get on a hot air balloon But it's a suede hot air balloon And then you enter into the land of Kravitz

It's like a Gulliver travel to get to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's actually a lot of Lilliputians on his land. He does not pay them. It's complicated. It is complicated. It pays them in guitar music. We could sell this and call it,

Are You Gonna Go My Way? This could work. It just came out of thin air, too. Yeah. Cooking. Sean has joined us here. This could work. It just came out of thin air, too. Yeah. Cooking. Sean has joined us here. Sean Cougar, Mel and Jordan on Instagram.

Sean, did you watch all the Grammys last night? Pretty much. Laura really wanted to see Joni Mitchell. Sorry, I could have been crying the whole time. I don't know. It was nuts to see. But yeah, it was actually pretty good, I think. Everyone's pretty upset with Taylor Swift. Why?

She snubbed Celine Dion pretty hard. And SZA kind of got hosed, too. She didn't hug her? I don't know if she said what's up or acknowledged that it was Celine Dion. Does she have to? Celine was presenting the album of the year. Yeah, and gave it to her.

But she has stiff person syndrome, so I don't know if you're supposed to hug her. Is that real? That's what she says. She can't stop getting boners? I'm sure that is a thing. It has to be. You're not allowed to even ask if it isn't.

You're not. Yeah, exactly. It's one of those. I even feel weird speculating right now. I don't think I can do this podcast anymore, to be quite honest with you. I've never heard anybody say that before. It's crazy.

Stiff person syndrome. Does it just mean she can't dance? You should just hug her from behind like Jack. That should just be the way you always greet her. It's the only way. I'm flying. Yeah, your girl Taylor cleaned up, dude.

Yeah. I, it was all right. Yeah. Your girl Taylor cleaned up, dude. Yeah. Uh, I didn't, I was more focused on, it was, it was fun. All the performances were fun. All the,

the hosting was great. Trevor Noah did such a good job. Um, I don't know. I liked it. I like stuff though. You know how it goes. This has been another Sean Jordan critical corner.

Yeah. I don't got too much to kind of spin in my wheels with positivity. Yeah. Uh, you want to be positive about Phoenix too, man. What a, what a fun weekend of shows.

Yeah. That was a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. But I mean, it was dope. Thank you for coming out. It was, it was a trip. The old desert Ridge improv in just that bar,

the live band bar next door. There was a live band next door and it was, it was enjoyable. They ripped me at that Tom Petty, live band bar next door there was a live band next door and it was it was enjoyable they ripped man that tom petty uh that tom betty cover band on thursday night was cool there were a lot of old ladies willing to risk it all oh yeah for the petty cover band we were in the suburbs of phoenix okay and phoenix is a suburb of, I guess, Los Angeles. Very true, yes.

And we were in the suburbs of that, and it was like, you were in there. Really? I think you had to be older. You have to have seen Fleetwood Mac live in their prime to enter this mall. Were you guys doing a live show? Yeah. Oh, wow, that's awesome. Live ANC and then stand-up as well. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. Like a lot of old people who love fucking. Yeah, that's the vibe of Phoenix. Really, really touchy like there on Molly. It was, yeah, like really, real hands-on. That's great. It was interesting. Yeah.

Did you, yeah. Sean, did you make any moves? I didn't see the ring, but. No, I didn't. the ring No I didn't You shout it She doesn't even know what I'm shouting about It just assumes I'm being accused of something A lot of people

Who came up to when they said good job After the show like if you would have just stood there With stiff personal syndrome You would have gotten an inadvertent hand job Just the way they were like You did so good. It was such a good show. Yeah.

It's weird. Cause I've been there a lot and I've never had that. So I don't know what that. Yeah. No. Are you playing downtown or something? Yeah. Yeah.

No, it sounds like different, but I, there I've been at the, the, what is it? The, I think it's the stand and they have,

they have a, like a club right there too. Okay. Me too. Stand up live. Yeah. It's right there, too. Me, too. Stand Up Live. It's literally the exact same setup in the subgroup. So that's their move. That's their move. It's their move. In Phoenix. Because I was telling them, I was like,

oh, yeah, it's really fun. You go in, we do live band karaoke. And then it was a completely different club I'd never been to. Great story, David. Well, no. David, don't do that. I've got you. I love that because then you can watch a bunch of people going to something and think it's your show and watch them go in the other direction

and that's always the most fun. At least they go great over there. That's awesome. The guy in the Tom Petty cover band wanted to come to our show. Wow. Which is crazy. I was telling Laura that. That was cool. The guitar player came down and he's like, man, I freaked out when I saw you guys walk in. It's like, you're in the band dude

you're doing the cool thing Gareth I can see the look in your eyes you're wondering if the guy the Tom Petty in the Tom Petty cover band was wearing round glasses and a top hat he was I swear to god I was like I wonder I was honestly going like

did he look like him but then I was like the guitar player doesn't have to. No, he was wearing all black. Yeah. Also, was it a wig? Right. That's great. Was it a wig?

He'll never tell. No, he did. He had the Tom Petty hair too. Yeah. It was his hair? Well. I mean, he had it on all night. Don't be a hair breaker.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was on his head. No more questions. All right. I'll shut it down. I'll shut it down. David, back away from this. I. No more questions. All right. I'll shut it down. David, back away from this one.

Be careful. I'll shut it down. The Tom Petty in costume. The Ben Montench not in costume. Know who I like better than Tom Petty? The guy the next night who was wearing all black and then a black vest. That guy. Lenny Kravitz?

It was Lenny Kravitz. It was Lenny Kravitz. The actual Lenny Kravitz. He was there for all the horny 60-year-olds. I'm a Lenny Kravitz? It was Lenny Kravitz. It was Lenny Kravitz. The actual Lenny Kravitz. He was there for all the horny 60-year-olds. I'm a Lenny Kravitz cover man. I just go out looking like him. I mean, honestly, we laugh. That's a life for a guy in Phoenix.

Oh, yeah. Total. A cover man? Yeah, I'm a cover man. A cover man is a great idea. I just kind of go to Fry's looking like Lenny Kravitz. Yeah. Kind of a Bruce Hornsby cover man.

I'm a cover man. No, no, I'm a cover man. Anyway, I'm living as him in a studio apartment. All right, I'll tell you this. Ben, I'm coming for you. Madison, I'm coming for you. What is this, real quick, Iceman, what is this one dropping?

This would be $ could be 215 probably 15 yeah day after valentine's day single awareness day yeah that's what you're calling valentine's day no no the day after is a single awareness day oh that's kind of the meanest day to do it oh sure hey remember how you guys just had sex with the people you love all night? Now remember your sad friends. Do single people need awareness? Oh, we're aware of it all the time. We're aware of it constantly. For better or worse, aren't you fairly aware that you're single?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Every single moment of my life. Is this for people in relationships to be reminded that there are indeed single people out there? I would hope so. You know, keep us in your hearts. Keep us in your prayers. Yeah.

I mean, everybody knows. Right? Single people, right? I would hope so, you know? Keep us in your hearts. Keep us in your prayers. I mean, everybody knows. Yeah, we're single people, right? Yeah. Because everybody's kind of jealous of the other group, right? Just a little bit. It's a grass is greener situation. Yeah. I think that is true. Yeah, everybody knows. Not me.

Yeah, no, of course not. No, me either. No. I would hate it. Not those of us in a thing either no no don't hate it not those of us in a thing no no things are great it has to obviously be

I think we need to cut the whole episode because of this we need to start playing dangerous territory listen we'll put air horns over there all the time

a little bit from Lenny Kravitz to now it's just gonna be beep beep that's where the slope slipped yeah exactly, go ahead

and replace the whole episode with a fresh air interview of Joan Gideon. My name is Terry Gross. I'll be married in all these places. February 16th and 17th, I'll be married in Bend. February 23rd, I'll be married with you, Ian, in

Seattle. Sean and I will be married up in Seattle, Washington. They let him do that thing. Zach Tostani, going to be high note in Portland, Oregon, Thursday, February 29th. Tickets are going quick for that, so cop them. I'm going to be in New Orleans March 8th and 9th with a one Ian Carmel. And I'm going to be in Madison.

Oh, we're going to be in Boise doing a live AFP March 23rd. Or March 22nd or March 22nd. March 21st. Holy buckets. Anyway, and then Wednesday, March 27th through Saturday, March 30th. I'll be in Madison, Wisconsin with Kyle Kinane at Comedy on State. Oh, I was hoping

you'd say that. It's the best place. It is the best place. Wouldn't it be shitty if he was just like, I'm playing a bar. Kyle's going to be there. We're going to hang out. I'll be at a bar. He'll be at a comedy club. I'm going to be at Ian's Pizza waiting for him to finish. I will be at Ian's Pizza getting that macaroni cheese pizza

almost fighting every night. I love Madison so much. It's the best. That whole setup there is the greatest. I've never played it. Oh, dude. It's so good. They're the place that like, they were

the best club. And then after the pandemic stuff, they got like that loan and they were like, so we just made it even crazier. You're like, what? The green room bigger. Yeah. An extra bar. You were like, stop.

A couple more massage chairs. When the Golden State Warriors added Kevin Durant. Like that was the way they handled it. They have massage chairs? Yes. You're just getting jerked off in the green room? They have a green room like a restaurant. Yeah, you know what a massage chair is, David.

It's a regular chair where a hand comes out and whacks you. Yeah. You sit there and a horny old lady from Phoenix comes out and gives you a handjob I fly around every night but the rules are her husband gets to watch he's in the other chair much like when she takes a picture and grabs your butt

at the same time he's on his phone half the time now he doesn't even mind it's like watching reruns of Seinfeld for him yeah Madison rules David Borey is here coolguyjokes87 on Instagram

where can people see you? oh I don't have any February dates actually I'm just going to be at home working on some shit there's some big stuff coming up though you'll see it oh and watch Royal Crackers, February 29th. Yes. And then the next day on Max

and every week subsequent. Yeah, I think that's pretty right. That feels like what it is. It's all annoying. You can figure it out. It's very funny, though. Gareth wrote it. Not my favorite parts, but he wrote some stuff. Yeah.

I mean you gotta fill 22 minutes so yeah sure but yeah keep your eyes to the skies because other stuff will be happening Gareth Reynolds is here hey at Reynolds Gareth on X is that right?

yeah is it the same on Instagram? it is yeah I'm can, where can people, I mean, you, you, you stand up comedian. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. What would you like to point people toward? Uh, well, uh, you should listen to my new podcast called we're here to help, which is a call and advice show. Uh, that, uh, is with Jake Johnson, who's doing quite well, better than me. And then, yeah,

listen to the dollop. And then you can go to garethreynolds.com. I'm going to be on tour going from Vegas to Salt Lake City to Denver to Wichita to West Des Moines

to Kansas City to Springfield to Tulsa to Oklahoma City to Dallas to Houston to Austin to San Antonio to Lafayette to New Orleans to Madison to West Bend

and Chicago and Cleveland. And you can go to garythrownells.com for all that shit. No love for East Des Moines, huh? No, I abhor East Des Moines. They know what they did. East Des Moines got a lot of high roots. You don't want to go up. I will not go there. No, no way.

It's really upsetting how hot Jake Johnson is. Just that specific kind of easy, good looking. Jake and how much he like he has this weird thing where he just shits on how he looks and it only helps. Yeah. So make some harder. Yeah. And yeah.

And that's what I'm up against. Constantly. Finally, an audio medium for those of us who are outraged by his voice. I was just going to say I like his voice more than his looks. He's got such a nice voice. No, no. He's the real package. Why don't you sit in one of those massage chairs, Sean?

I'll call him my lap, baby. Just wear some leather. Just be a massage cover man. Just jack him off. That's a much better term for it than sex worker. Yeah. Massage cover man. Cover man.

Which hand do you want, baby? Paul Simon or Daryl Hall? Which one? Whoa. You didn't. Garfunkel got left out. Okay. Sounds like you have two right hands.

Simon and Hall. That's my nickname at the pool hall dude two right hands he's out here making money my name is Ian Carmel at Ian Carmel on Twitter Instagram TikTok YouTube all those places you can see me oh first of all

pre-order my book t-shirt swim club you don't even need to tell me what that is about as a fat child yes don't even bother exactly what it's about don't even bother 13 essays about uh about about being fat and uh and dealing with all of that and then my little sister a clinical psychologist comes in after each essay and uh writes about it from that perspective oh Oh, that's hilarious. I hope you'll like it. It was a joy to write.

And pre-orders help immensely. It helps tell the publisher how much money to spend on marketing. And I am bad at TikTok, so I need your help. That's a plea, right? A literal plea. It's an actual plea. Please help recoup the money for the publisher. I'm going to be doing stand-up.

You can see me in Seattle, February 23rd, at the Comedy Slash Bar with Sean Jordan. I'll be in New Orleans. I can't wait. I'm very excited. It is. Very excited to have a venue in Seattle that's not the last venue. Uh-huh.

That accused of our dear friend who's never harmed a fly of a costing a doorman and kick rocks the least plausible story of all time new orleans i will be march 8th and 9th at junk drawer coffee san francisco march 13th through 16th at the punch line and then march 23rd recording my special to me at revolution hall in portland the first show already sold out we added in a late show uh and there are as of right now tickets still available to that late show but jump on it march 23rd and then after that i'm going to be putting myself in one of those back to tanks from star wars and floating there for months i can't wait i can't wait um hell yeah

excited to get on the road though so check all that stuff out and we are gathered here today not only to give you our tour dates but also to fantasy draft viral video tropes basically the types of videos that go viral was this one of our listeners suggested

or did this come right from the dome of Gareth straight from the mouth hell yeah dude Gareth? Straight from the mouth. Hell yeah, dude. Gareth, what was the impetus behind this idea? Well, I sent a list, but this one was ones where, like, for instance, my friend and I, and this will be one of my draft picks, but my friend and I have...

I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. We have one where we always send it back and forth, and I'm always like, I'm always like, let's do this. I'm not going to say it. We have one where we always send it back and forth. And I'm always like, I'm like, always like, let's do this. I'm excited. And, and so just thinking of those, there's certain ones where I always just go, oh, I like this. You know, the algorithm starts to know that you like that.

We'll talk about it. So just thinking of those sort of things. The algorithm has me figured out for sure. You're going to have some phenomenal other entries. of those sort of things. The algorithm has me figured out for sure. That's his job. Your list had some phenomenal other entries and I would like to already invite you back

to do another couple of these. Let's party. Yeah, I'm good. Well, and one that I omitted that you guys, but one of them was like sauces. We've done like two iterations

of sauce. We did like condiments and what else did we do? We did condiments and hot sauces. Hot sauces. Yeah, yeah. You know what your last

episode should be I thought this and nobody's trying to put their foot on that gas but guests you should end with your guests that would be gnarly because they burn the bridges on the way out you know let them know

our least favorite show North Carolina leaving entertainment we just pick each other oh my god and my last pick is Sean Jordan and I'm out it's great people bring that up a lot and it is like

we can't do that pick our guests you know it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's, you know, it's it's it's it's exclusitory. Is that a word?

Exclusionary. It's close enough, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It could have been a word if I would have backed it a little more. It might be a word.

It very well might be. It could be a word. It isn't. But what matters is we're not 100 percent. As long as there's the space, you know. Yeah.

There's the space. Yeah. It's not a word. Exclusory is apparently the that's what you meant which is when someone from a dr seuss book is excluded all right uh the way we determine the order all right that's how i recover from a joke not really going over in any sort of everybody got it people at home the big seuss heads are chuckling right now oh yeah yeah the way we determine the order of this draft is through a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the three of you and we throw on shoot uh here we go rock paper scissor shoot wow three-way tie all right

three-way tie here we go again rock paper scissors shoot oh a definite winner a natural victory a paper against two rocks David as the winner of rock paper scissors it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft before you do that I will remind you it is a serpentine draft and what is that it's a great question

I was forced into a window seat yesterday well middle technically but I was leaning over a window yeah I pretty much dude it takes a lot to not, middle technically, but I was leaning over. A gun point? Yeah, pretty much, dude. It takes a lot to not get me in the aisle. I offered cash to the woman next to me. It didn't happen. Wow. How much cash?

20 bucks. Enough, I thought. That's enough. I thought. I really did. We were in 29. I'm like, this will... Right?

It's a two-hour... Anyway. Yeah. Did you ask her for free first? Did you say, like, would you mind... No. No, I just... No. Is it two hours? Anyway. Yeah. Did you ask her for free first? Did you say like, would you mind? No, I just... No. Whenever it happens, I explain the situation.

I'm like, I get really nervous in the middle. I could not get an aisle. You know, would it be... Oh, you were in the middle? You were in the middle seat? I was in the middle. No, I said window. And then I took it back.

I was going to lie. And I took it back. Yeah, that's not... Nobody's going to... Nobody's going to... If you were switching the aisle, that makes... Nobody wants to sit in the hurt line. Yeah, that's what I's why would never oh no no i think in general i say no but that to me i'm like get out what are you a child get out of here literally get that out of here

now the point feels fucked up i can't have a tumbo that offer yeah yeah i i figure i finger shame it's worked a couple times. But it's mostly not. You're kind of an asshole for offering. Why are you not preparing for that? Because you could be giving the airline your $20. Now she has to feel like a dick because she doesn't want the obviously

worst seat. But I also think that Sean then to me becomes like the $20 guy. I tried everything. I try everything short of buying a first class ticket in that situation. I can't justify the all the way bump up. That's crazy.

So then it was just a late booking or there was too much for you to pick your seat? It was a little much. So the way that this worked out, I don't really fly American. Was it more than $30? Late booking. I don't really fly Americans. Was it more than 30 bucks? This is interesting. Late booking. I don't really fly Americans, so they wouldn't let me pick because I went on Priceline.

They wouldn't let me pick until 24 hours, until I whatever. And it was all unavailable except for first class. They didn't have any bump ups. Wow. Can I tell you what I've noticed to be true in most cases? If you go on Priceline and you see the price on there, you can also go to American Airlines and it's the same price because now they have like

the insane low tiers of tickets which is the one Priceline sold you which is like all we can guarantee is you're on the plane. You might be in the bathroom the whole time. We're not sure what your bag deal is No it has gotten fucking incredible with how bad it

gets when you book from those things. Well, as I was looking out the window from my middle seat, I apologize for being a jerk to the person in the aisle. I think it's kind of like when you plow the field of a farm. I think that when they're corning, whatever

that's called, when you got the big corn machine. If you don't know. I mean, plowing the corn field? If you don't know. I mean, harvesting the corn. Corning something different. They go all the way down and then they turn around. Corning's how I got my agent. Man, you got to teach me how to corn. I don't have an agent.

But when you harvest the corn, you go all the way down and then you take a slight, you go to the left slightly, then you turn back, harvest all the the way down, and then you take a slight, you go to the left slightly, then you turn back, harvest all the way back down, and then take a right, and then just all the way back. So it's just like a back and forth motion. There you go. Basically what it means is if you pick fourth in the first round,

you pick first in the second round. Now, David, with that in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go first because I want to get mine, then Sean, then Gareth, then Ian. Sean. David, Sean. Do you think your first one is going to be my first one or is that, you know? I don't know. I think you think we're more similar than we are.

Okay. That sounded catty. I don't feel like I don't think you think we're better friends than we really are. I don't like the way that that came out. I still think you should go get his first pick because we know what it is. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. That's interesting.

Because I don't want it. Because I don't want it. You can put me second. I'll go get it. I want it. That's crazy. I'd like it. So the order is David, Sean, Gareth, Ian, and David, we will get to

your first pick right after this very short break. This episode of All Fantasy Everything is brought to you by Babbel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing, just go to a brand

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This is, of course, the only podcast to ever exist. Yeah. Wow. Except for Garrett. I was going to say, you really negated my plugs. Yeah, it's not my favorite bit either. Except for we're here to help. I don't do it all the time. You're just throwing out the words. You do it every episode.

Is that your favorite bit? You bring us back from break, David. All right, here we go. It's too late. I'm taking us to break again. I'm taking us to break again. It's too late.

We'll be right back with David's preferred bit right after this. Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything. Another great podcast in the all fantasy universe. We're here with Gareth Reynolds, big fan of the show. David Borey got the last pick and he's going to go right now.

Now people are listening to those other podcasts. Who are you? They switched over. I'm a big fan of Everybody Eats. They switched over from our podcast, mid-podcast and now they're listening to... They're like, I'm never coming back from the dump that's right now they're on some quantum leap journey to get back to afb just trying to work their way back to all fantasy everything by like listening to

the bill simmons podcast and then you know one thing i know about podcast fans is that they listen to a bunch of them yeah that's true Which is tough because there's only the three. There's only the three. Nobody's ever like, you guys are the only podcast I listen to. I'm honestly not familiar with this space. That's true for Sue Carmel. Okay, that's fair. You're wrong. David, you have the first pick.

I got to take slingshot videos when people are in the slingshot ride and it goes up and they freak out. Oh, yeah. Great one. Some of them they pass out. Some people cry. It's a great one. It's always good.

DMX is in one. Always good. Oh, yeah. That's like the first one, I think, that I saw. That's how he died, I believe. I think the first one I ever saw was the one where that guy falls asleep and then wakes up and then falls asleep and then wakes up again.

Level of adrenaline to achieve that. I also, have you ever seen the one where they like, they'll be like the person's like, oh, hold on, there's a problem with the wire. And then they'll shoot him off. So the person going up is like, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man.

Some carny fun. I've seen that. I like the, I love a slingshot. How do you, how does everybody feel about it? I've never done one. It's a great pick. Oh, it's a pick. Well, yeah, but I mean, just doing it.

Oh, I've done one. Maybe you were doing it. It's insane. It's insane. It seems nuts to me. It's like. It's horrifying. It's like the one, it's like the line where I'm like,

okay, this goes past fun ride to me. Yeah. Like roller coasters. Cool. Tower of doom. Cool. Slingshot.

I'm like, I don't need that. Well, the fact that it's pick one tells you that it's not a great idea. Probably to be like, you know, we have access to footage. We didn't,

when I did it. Yeah. Like I did it. I was like, Hey, this guy seems to know what he's doing. But those videos, they're always fun. Of roller coasters. So getting in a slingshot to me is insane.

David, would you do it? No, probably not. What's the most adventurous thing you would do? I've done all the roller coasters and stuff. I don't really. They hurt my ears, though. I feel like I knock. You get boxy, especially when you're a cauliflower here yeah yeah yeah but i and it's just like i don't listen man i don't need to be scared like that physically life's scary it's

scary i like that's not i don't get my kicks off it's the same reason i'm not like trying to watch terrifying movies like that's not exciting to me. I take anti-anxiety medication. So it's like the idea to go get on purpose anxiety. Let's see how strong this stuff really is. Let's see how fucking... It's one of the

side effects listed in the commercial. May try slingshot, roller coasters. There used to be at the state fair that like UFO thing where like the G-Force would like push you up against it. You'd see shit. Oh, man.

Yeah, the guy who runs that ride, he sits in the middle. He's stationary. He's basically a DJ and he's just seen everything. Yeah. He's just seen puke go back into someone's mouth. He's seen heads get

viced in when the thing goes. Kids go flying. Sometimes there'll be a kid that's standing in the aisle and you know that guy's like, I'm going to go fast immediately and this kid's just going to fly around. He's seen kids put their arms out and try to hold him and then just pie face the person next to them without trying

to. Yeah. Just based on the law of averages, somebody's taking their wiener out on one of those UFOs and then it's got like plastered next to them, you know, by the UFOs. The law of averages, it's one of us. Let's be honest. Okay, yeah. I took my wiener out on one of those UFOs. Two of us have them because I also have had my wiener out on them.

It's so flat it looks like a mammogram, but it's your wiener on your jeans. Yeah. I'm 42. That's alright. Don't worry. Still whipping it out. Yeah. Those are rad, man. Those slingshot videos rule.

Always a fun time. Great dynamics. Always good. You know what I mean? These are friends and maybe it's a boyfriend girlfriend and the boyfriend's crying. Always good. You know what I mean? They're like, these are friends, and maybe it's a boyfriend-girlfriend, and the boyfriend's crying. Always good. It's also how fast they take off immediately. It's so funny.

It's like Looney Tunes. Yeah, it really is. And also, when they started putting the GoPros right, I mean, you get a really good 4K close-up on what is happening. You are there for the whole emotional ride yeah it's great great fun always sometimes it looks like man it looks like their neck

just snaps because it's crazy to watch somebody just like go limp but like be flung up in the air and the secure like some people are sliding out of it it is hellish true yeah it's dangerous it feels dangerous it's dangerous. It feels dangerous. It's tough to see that one go off the board because that's going to be a big career.

And I don't know the stats, but I bet you at least five people lose their lives to that a year. You don't think anybody's ever not properly and they just... Can you imagine seeing that at a fair? No. Talk about a day...

You'd be like, all right, we got to get out of here. I can't. I can't hang here. That's a villain origin story yeah i was next in line with my dad and somebody shot out of the slingshot and now i'm going to kill spider-man the swings i'm always like someone has flown off of one of the one of those oh yeah i used to love those as a kid though the swings they were fun they. I really liked those. And the zipper.

The zipper, too. I'm like, this just looks like it's supposed to fall off. It looks like it's ready to fall off. The swings look crazier from the outside than they feel from the inside. Exactly. They feel delightful on the inside. They're like, we're flying to Never Never Land. Yeah.

Six dead. Yeah. Six dead in the Never Land Massacre. Sean Jordan, time for your first pick I'll be specific because I don't just want to take this one Umbrella term off the board Sorry this is depressing but Fights at fast food counters

You can just take fights dude Well I don't you know I feel like that's You're going to take the rest of his list I have a base Don't take the palm I'm going to take the rest of his list. I have a base. Don't take the palm. I'm going to take all five fingers. You're drafting offense right now. You acted like you were doing that for us.

You're doing that for you. Just make it specific. The sweat that's coming out of Sean right now. It's tough. I get because I watch these and I, it's not fun to watch. I know it's none of these. Some of them are fun.

Some aren't, but I like, and I don't agree ever with the person flipping out. Obviously I'm not the Joker, but they just, they do get me and I do enjoy watching them and it's unfortunate, but I watch them all cover to cover every single time. And you're doing physical altercations just to be clear.

Oh yeah. Do you ever have somebody altercations just to be clear. Oh yeah, do you ever have somebody just dressing down or a verbal fight? The physical ones, honestly, are the ones that I don't like the most because it's like, I watch it, still I watch it, and it's a weird part about me.

What is this? I don't know why. Maybe just, you could just say, Okay, listen, I'm not going to tell you how you feel. Maybe just, you could just say, you. Okay, listen. I'm not going to tell you how you feel. Don't out him. I'm not going to tell you how you feel. Well, I don't.

That's not a nice, that's not cool. I've worked, I mean, I've worked fast, but it's horrible. So I don't, I don't know. It's like, I don't understand how they're not killing every customer that flips out. So, I mean, in some of the videos they do. Some of the videos you see the employee be like, this is my last shift. And they decide that it's time to hit someone with a tray. Yeah.

Just when it gets, I don't know, just seeing something go that gnarly is such, it's so interesting all the time. I always, whenever they come up, and they come up a lot now, and they're probably going to come up more because I'm talking about it. Nobody pay-per-views a debate.

You like the fight. You do. It's okay. We all like, that's what, if I'm going to watch oneviews a debate you like the fight you do it's okay we all like that's what if i'm gonna watch one of those videos you want the fight you want like everybody likes not everybody i'm not sure a bunch of people on the internet lie about it but like you ever seen a fight everybody's watching oh yeah it's awful but i mean if i see a fight i'm like whoa don't move this is the best yeah you're gonna just run to the car? No, you're going to see it through. Fast food ones are great because there's a moment where it's like, I got to get over that. One of them has to get over the counter.

The counter's a great hurdle. It's also when you break down the fact that it is over pretty garbage food. It's also that's enjoyable. Yeah. There's always a bunch of stuff that can go in the air, like the cups and the really interestingly light Taco Bell chairs.

Those can get picked up pretty easy. It's just always an interesting situation. I think it's great to be that. That's why Taco Bell has made helium chairs for customer launching. We encourage our customers to heave

these. It's like picking up a paper plate. Also, that's why Burger King fights are trash. Because they're nailed down. That's bullshit. You get one of those out, you got a new weapon. I'd like to see a little more creativity in the space. You know what I mean? Like, use some of the sauces.

You know, use that, like, go to Arby's, the horsey sauce. Oh, the horsey sauce in the eyes. Yeah, yeah, right, right eyes yeah you gotta plan that though you gotta come and know that it's gonna happen I feel like most of them are at Taco Bell I feel like that's the most that gets the most heat

McDonald's has a wit's end there's a lot there was the sandwich at Popeyes that caused what was the one sandwich the sandwich at popeyes that caused what was the the one sandwich oh the chicken sandwich yeah dude got killed over it yeah someone killed another which for popeyes fantastic yeah huge they were like huge huge review they paid a guy to kill that guy yeah right yeah he lives in uh yeah he lives in venezuela now on like uh 150 acres he's doing with lenny

kravitz i believe yeah i'm not sure yeah they're in the jungle i wonder if it says leonard anywhere it's actually leonardo kravitz a lot of people don't know that leonardo kravitz dude finally leonardo kravitzky jr kravitzky i'm happy to have it be more Jewish than it already is I love it Keep coming babe They changed it to Kravitz in Dallas Island If it was Kravitzky he'd be like 5% less hot No he's ours it's Lenny O'Kravitz

Everybody knows he's Irish We'll take it That's actually anti-semitic Sorry Sean That's tough All that fight talking Oh darn it that's actually anti-Semitic. And I'm going to apologize. Sorry, Sean. Oh, darn it. All that fight talk.

Oh, darn it. Gareth, it is your topic. It is time for you to make your first pick. I'm going to say, I think that, I think I'm in a gray area now with what mine would have been because of what Sean said.

So I will just tell you what I'm not drafting based on that and then draft was well I maybe still can that's why I tried to get sort of specific in a crazy way I'm going to still try it and you guys tell me if you got to nix it and then I'll

a white woman being filmed damn yeah that's always a pretty good start for me. I think we know what you mean, but that's not like a dance video, not to say a pic, right? No, this is

where someone is seeing the behavior of, and Karen has now sort of been... Like a Karen call out. I think that's real. Yeah, that's different than what I'm talking about. Okay, I've seen a lot of them over burritos and stuff like that, where it's like, get out of my country stuff. So it felt restaurant-y in some ways. You can also see them at skate parks, malls.

Give me your license so that I know where you live. How do you know the pool code? Yeah. I'm, you know, why are you walking? Yeah, a lot of that. So anytime that a white woman, the camera turns on and she's defending that this is OK to say, followed by my favorite follow up trope, which is when she starts filming. Like, yeah, oh, yeah, this is a great counter suit, you know, to this action.

She's like, I also want evidence of racism or classism. I'm going to send this to the authorities of the country where I claimed your food. I'm going to post this on my Facebook so my friends know how bad I am, too. She's like getting a second angle so the editors have something to work with. You know what? My energy dips in the middle. We might want to lift that just to kind of keep the momentum going with what I'm doing. But those are always my truly some of my favorites.

They taste so sweet. Yeah. Those are a problem because I could just watch them all day, especially because, like, you guys have, like, worked in nightlife. There's really, not to go too deep into it, but the worst things that have been said to me is, like, by a white lady trying to get into a bar. So it's like everybody's always known that they're so so terrible and these videos are just like yeah you've unearthed something that is real i think and i think you're right i think we

did know but i still am like wow like just once you start getting filmed for anything the good move would just be like i'm gonna shut it down just to be safe and get a little but instead they'll be like no the confidence level is high it's high which really that's the most admirable thing about the videos yes yeah i don't think i'm ever that right rarely yeah yeah yeah if i saw the phone get pulled out i'd be like i guess you know what i'm probably i probably i probably i think i'm gonna stop has there ever been one like that has any of those videos ever with the woman being like i'm sorry it i've never seen it it never i mean there might be but it's probably also because that's not as salacious. I mean, I'm sure it's happened. Maybe I'd like to give them the room to not be terrible in public.

I saw one where there was almost like a fight breaking out in like a traffic situation where like it was a pedestrian in a car. And then like the phone came out and then they just apologized to each other. But then you never know these days. Maybe that was like a staged thing. Right. Or is it performative? Because once the phone goes out you know you're in trouble yeah yeah pedestrian walked over to the window i've never apologizing anyone ever done that i've never i mean my buddy was just telling me a story about these guys were these bikers were trying to jump him and he took out

a phone and went and he didn't even have it but he was like I'm on Facebook live right now these guys are racist and it got him out of it that's a pretty great idea I mean it's a Hail Mary but it's something because there is proof if you're like recording it or whatever you call someone or FaceTime or whatever you're like that's proof

I guess you know so that would be scary. If shit's going down I forget I have my phone to be honest if shit's going down my first instinct is I my phone, to be honest. Yeah, me too. If shit's going down, my first instinct is I got to get the fuck out of here. No matter what's happening. Man, I saw, I can't even remember what the Twitter was, literally last night, and it was like some weird,

like whatever, creepy video thing where I just kept being like, give me something, and nothing was working. But the one that was was this dude in like a serious jungle saying he was running away from a cannibal. And the whole time he's holding his phone up as he's like wind sprinting. And I was like, what? The phone, get rid of the fucking phone.

The angle was unreal. I was like, his framing is ridiculous, but could be his last shoot. Looking like Hype Williams filming Busta Rhymes. Like that angle kind of thing. Running with the elephant. Dude, it really was. It really was.

Yeah, I guess you're like, well, if I'm going to almost get eaten, I'm not going to get nothing out of it. Yeah, some followers. Not that guy. That guy's the least favorite follower I have. Yeah, you don't want those two. The cannibal. Not that guy. That guy's the least favorite follower I have. Yeah, you don't want those two.

The cannibal. Some people, the Central Park one got like real comeuppance for it too. She got fired, I think, and all that. I never assumed that. And then there's a post underneath where it's like, we found her. A lot. Totally. That's so true. When you see the like four dots and you're like, oh, there's more.

Yeah. And there's maybe a part two, but then it's just like, here she is. And then it's just like, you know, Best Buy being like, Stacy no longer works at Best Buy. We are walking away from Stacy. We remain, as always, committed to, you know, excellent customer service and diversity. Washers, dryers, TVs used to be a lot more, but now it's kind of that. You just know, like the TikTok teens are like swarming at that point. Oh, yeah.

But I also think they've got to be leaving the scene a little like maybe like I think there's that you probably have a half hour of delusion where you're like no I was right to say that and then it starts yeah I wonder what that second day that's the movie I want to see Karen the second day like she's had a sleep on it and she has to take care of it

and then like deal with that like the fallout she's not hung over anymore you know what I mean because like the day that happens like the fallout. She's not hung over anymore. You know what I mean? The day that happens, there have to be extenuating circumstances, even if that person is a racist. You know what I mean? I don't see that. I don't think so. I think sometimes she just, some people just suck.

You think like full night of sleep, kale salad, still out there. Yeah. You're probably right. You're just ass. She's at CPAC. Yeah. Featured speaker. you're probably right she's at CPAC yeah featured speaker that's a great pick

I'm putting a Karen moment we're excited time for my first and second pick fights in bathrooms cut them off Ian you still got it got you don't take my thumb baby I am taking plausible cryptozoology I don't understand what you're saying Don't take my thumb, baby.

I am taking plausible cryptozoology. I don't understand what you're saying. I don't understand. I've never heard anything he says to me. That's tight. Vaguely plausible cryptozoology. You know what I mean? When someone's like- No, I don't know what you're doing.

You know what I mean? And moving on to my second pick. No. So this almost goes back to like the original viral clip, which was that Bigfoot running through the woods. Yeah. Oh, I understand what you're saying. That is fun.

Yeah. Because it gets me all the time. I'm like, they found it? All the time. Yeah, there's Loch Ness right there. And you're like, it is. The first. Right.

And then like now on TikTok, and I imagine also on Instagram Reels and stuff, like this stuff is all over the place. I just watched a video before we did this podcast of some dude being like, mermaids are real. And here's a video. I don't believe they're not. I don't believe there's not

some sort of version about that. Who am I to say? The ocean's a big place, man. A lot of water out there. Mermaids is the one you pick of mythical sea creatures. I think they could all be real. I think there's like I think there's a little village of people down there somewhere. What? Deep

in the back of my brain. David Attenborough would have thought that if it was. Holy fuck. Mermaids. Oh my fucking God. God. We've gone so low. I would love to see David Attenborough go and house Grint.

Yeah, because he's narrating Luke. Are you getting this shit? Jesus Christ. Look at them. Bare-titted. Unbelievable. The rumors were true. A vaginal canal. Oh my fucking

God. Wow. And look, a few sailors with breathing apparatus frolicking amongst them wow wow the but i love i just love this show when it's like late at night and i'm like scrolling through videos and it's like we found the new jersey devil and there's like and even now that people are like doing it with like obviously after effects put Jersey devil. And even now that people are doing it with obviously After Effects put on and stuff like that, they're editing these videos. But it's enough to get me thinking.

And you know, I'd say every top three comments is like, fake, and I'm always like, oh, someone outed them. But if they were all like, that's real, I'd be like, whoa. Yeah, like I saw that video. Demonic possessions, yeah. You know what's funny? If I don't see one of those fake comments, I will convince myself it's real until I see someone.

I see that and I'm like, yeah, probably right. Yeah. This guy, he knows. Yeah. It just takes one person to push against it. You're like, ah. Yeah. That is how we would find out for the first time.

Yeah. You know what i mean like now it wouldn't be it wouldn't be breaking news on you know the tv it would be like some videos on tiktok and it's like wait these might be real then there's more videos then there's more videos then it's like oh yeah of course big feet are real or whatever it is like like those aliens in miami or whatever yeah well the ufo aliens in Miami or whatever. Yeah, well, the UFO shit too. I mean, like, yeah, the aliens, all that shit. UABs. Yeah. Is that what they changed it to?

What is it now? Oh, sorry. Unidentified what? No, no, no. If I was unidentified, UAB? Unidentified brothers and sisters. I'm so sorry. We're not supposed to objectify them.

We are canceling you. What's the easiest one for you to believe the easiest cryptozoology situation is a Bigfoot any ocean shit so I guess for me I think like a like Kraken you know like an even bigger kind of giant squid that we haven't seen yet

that just lives super deep below well that is like, I mean, the truth is when that, when, I think it is the original planet Earth, when they like showed you like the second ocean, I was like, alright, so what the fuck is going on now? Like, so I can buy into

a lot of stuff in the ocean. It's mostly ocean, and we don't even know everything on land. I know, yeah. We haven't figured it all out on land, and it's mostly that. That's on land and that's mostly saying nobody you know if you'd have told doc holliday about cell phones he would have said the same thing that people say when i'm like there could be atlantis down there who knows how did you get tombstone into this episode i was watching on the treadmill or something i was just i was two and a half hours away. And so I think it's just in my blood right now. OK, just to be clear, we were it was like three and a half hours, right? It was two hours and 45.

OK, my bad, my bad, my bad. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, I still just have a picture of Lenny Kravitz up that I'm going to finally take down. It's really like just like his head is poking out at the bottom here. I imagine it's demotivating. Like you're like yeah exactly yeah they lied when they said I could be anything

the carrot's too far away you're like no no put it a little closer if you want me to actually reach for it the giant giant carrot. The carrot that will rip through pants the carrot that will not stay under soil the carrot that could end your marriage.

The self-picking carrot. Talk about the corning carrot. Time for my second pick, and I'm going to take newscasters messing up. Oh, that's great. On my list. I hate to say it, but right in the pussy. Right in the pussy. That guy.

That was crazy. They ain't hard to find is the thing. No one has to do the looking. You get a meteorologist not being able to figure out where he is on the green screen. You get the bug flying in reporters' mouths. But truly, I think you are right the gold standard is the man who decided to 9-11 his own life when he just ran up and said fucker right in the pussy just how and who oh and it's amazing there's this one it's like uh where they didn't leave a long

enough pause between uh his intro sean you know this one david i like where they didn't leave a long enough pause between his intro. Sean, you know this one. David, I think I've shown you too. He didn't leave enough of a pause between his intro and the first story. And he's just like, I'm Ken Tomita filling in for John, you know, blah, blah, blah. He was raped and murdered

while blah, blah, blah. At the picnic. This is Ken Bastida. Dana is out today. He was murdered and set on fire celebrating his birthday. Holy fuck. And you're just like,

they had to teach you commas at some point in broadcasting school. I like it when somebody says, when they're like, and after the break, we'll see just how big their dick is, but it's like they mess up or something and they cut right to the weatherman they can't catch their breath but they still try to do the weather and they're like it's tempy it really is such a great it why that's such a good pick because they are they still have this air of professionalism but they're just kind of local yahoos and they're live so it's just full of possibilities and they're just like it's in what

like a hundred different markets going up every night putting up shots oh yeah it's the hundred monkeys on a hundred typewriters yeah for sure they're so good the fact that it ever you know what i mean that it ever happens you're like whoa i read books to my daughter and mess up every single night i mess up reading a child's a two and a half year old's book to her every night i stutter over my words so yeah i get it for sure it'd be hard i saw a video this was even fun just in a different way of like a newscaster doing their like neutral newscaster tone and then like thinking the camera was off and then slipping into like the thickest baltimore accent you've ever heard in your entire life well that also opens up that element which

is the one they don't know they're live when they're like i know well she was fucking showing her coochie everywhere at the christmas party so when we get, yeah, I have a picture of it. They're like, Doug, Doug, Doug. He's like, no, was she? I have banger. But I, my wife does not know and can't know. Are they going to a suit? And with the pumpkin patches buzzing

today. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it it's beautiful it also feels low stakes enough that like the person messing up you know what i mean it's like nobody's getting fired for that probably also true i think it takes a lot i i also think now with the world we live in there is this sort of stupidity where it's probably good it helps their ratings in some stupid way if it's in the right direction, which most of them are, you know.

There was also the reporter, another classic one, where she, like, something happened where the video was like she's having a stroke, but that's not what it was. She just forgot. Have you seen that one where she just forgot how to talk? Yeah, get better, better. Yeah, get better. Very, very derisive.

Yeah, right. A very derisive derisive. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Very derisive. Derisive. Yeah. That one is terrifying. You can see it on the internet. You can see her mouth drop where she's like, she knows.

And then they did a post interview a few months later and she was like, I'm okay. But I was terrified. Cause she, she could hear the words. She did that again in her post. I was terrified. Deriside.

Terrible. I'm a verified derisive. terrified of a verified Daraside. Of a verified Daraside. So that's my second pick. Gareth, time for your second pick. Thank you very much. Okay. I, uh, I've given myself a slash on this one too,

because I feel like it's kind of the same vibe, but, um, a rope swing near a body of water or a cliff edge. Come on. What was the second one? A cliff edge. When someone is deciding to maybe jump in the water off a cliff edge or someone's going

to rope swing into the water. Once those are starting to warm up, those are the ones my buddy and I always send back and forth. And once those are starting to warm up, I'm always like, this is probably going to be pretty dicey. Yeah. You always hold on a little too long. I was going to say, I've done that. There's that. The hold on too long is great.

They get too scared to jump off. The cliff is really what you're looking for there is exactly that. The person who's decided they're going to go for it, but they decide right as their legs are jumping that they're not going to do it.

And then they've, they've got, they've kind of landed unfortunately in the middle ground, which is jagged and Rocky. Yeah. Tree roots, just a bunch of tree roots. You're like,

Oh no, you're going to break your leg. I've seen those ones. I've seen one where it's like, they kind of overestimate how easy it's going to be. And then they get like their feet on, but their body's back. Yes.

And they're like trying to work it and they can't quite, and then they get wet. Oh man. Love it. It always is like, the rope swing one, I would say most of the time is,

to what you said, it's basically they don't let go. Right. They don't really, they don't think about the second half. That's kind of the problem with all of them. They don't think of the second half. But some can be quite violent. I mean, some like the cliff's edge ones. There are some where, you know, you're just like, oh, my God.

Oh, yeah. I just assume these people live. I just assume if it's there, they live. But I think that is probably not super fair. I'm sure I've seen a couple deaths and been like, wow, Becky's an idiot. Yeah, but she was pretty dumb the next morning. The rope swing ones. I feel like a lot of people, myself definitely included, overestimate their upper body strength.

Because a lot of people myself definitely included overestimate their upper body strength i because a lot of people like think they can hang but i'm like when was the last time i hung for something for more than a second so some of them people will they'll start hanging and then their feet they'll just before they'll just fall because they're like i was i was at a pool this year and did that because i hadn't done on a zip line right on a zip line yeah I grabbed it and I was like here we go and I took a step off and immediately like an overripe grapefruit just like because I didn't know how hard I had to be gripping but apparently it was not hard enough and I just fell immediately yeah they're just too ubiquitous now it feels like when I was a kid I

feel like you just would you knew one guy who had and then now it's like a vacation killer yeah it's everywhere so yeah so we're excited to have rope swings or cliff's edge on the team this year that's great yeah that's an impact player love it i love what they did in cleveland they did a lot in cleveland they weren't gonna get a championship without that. Right in the Lake Erie. Is that the Cleveland one? Fucker right in the Lake Erie.

Sean Jordan, time for your second pick. I'm going near misses. So like somebody almost getting hit by a car. It'll be like YouTube compilation, near misses, because you're just on the edge of your seat. And you know it's going to be okay. It's not like John Wick where they get hit. But it's just crazy to me with all the cameras,

we can catch all this stuff. And some of it, I wouldn't believe, but I'm like, well, there are cameras everywhere on all the time. So, I mean, it'll be someone riding a bike and seriously going over a train track and almost getting hit by a speed train. It's crazy. I feel like a lot of them are in Russia for some reason. Yes.

Well, Russia dash cams. That's why. Russia dash cams. Dash cams in Russia are there to prevent a lot of fake car crash claims, which are very, which is, I believe their third leading job.

But I think that's as close as you get to like a feel good story with these kinds of videos anymore. You know what I mean? Cause you're like, that lady almost died. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That truck almost fell. Yeah. I don't want to get into if there's other picks ago, but just near misses stuff where you do, you get like, you're allowed old lady, frogger basically, you know,

like a street. Yeah. The train ones are scary. Crazy. The train ones. Fuck me up. They all do. I mean,

somebody who like, we'll be walking on their phone in the subway and they just inadvertently are walking into the track and they'll like take a step off and just slide back as the car is coming or the people who have fallen on the tracks and then someone gets them off just in time oh yeah it's crazy how raw the subway i mean there's nothing there i don't know what i think they would have there but there's nothing nothing there. What are you thinking might be down there? Well, like railings except for where the doors are or something.

It's not like the whole car opens up as a door. Yes. What are they going to do? It's just a lot going on. They could put up a little thing that edges you out a little bit when your train gets dropped down. But again, here we are talking about infrastructure.

Come on now. And I'm also not trying to bite the hand that feeds. Yeah, I bet they've thought of it is what I'm saying. And there's a reason it's not done. Well, the video content, they're like, that's how people know what we're doing down here. Yeah. Who's going to take the subway?

That's our marketing. Yeah. I couldn't die in it when it's bad as it could. I could take the subway. Wow, you seem pretty safe yeah fellow passengers really coming to your aid it seems they don't they don't show you they don't show you the ones where someone drops and people like probably not gonna be able to get him off of there before that train gets here to be quite honest with you i do have a family of my own. David Boyd, time for your second and third picks. Oh, man.

I gotta say, it's always fun. Different ages, this is fun. I'm taking anesthesia videos. Oh, God. That's great. That's such a good thing. So funny every time. When it's the kids, and they're like,

there's the one with the little kid where He's like, don't tell my mom. He says somebody's mom. He's like, I'm going to fuck with that bitch. Yeah. And then you just know that as a mom, you're like, damn. I mean, he's also, you know, I know. But then there's like there's one. There's a few that are kind of more sexual in nature.

They're just, they're very fun. David at the dentist was really kind of the genre breaking. That was their Blair Witch. That was where you were like, well, I don't even think I knew that that happened with anesthetic until that kid came out and was just fried.

Yeah. That was the Chuck Berry of in the TV videos. Yes, all of a sudden there was an amp. Yeah. It was like, what the fuck? It's just so funny every time. It is incredible. You gotta

wonder how many kids too are just maybe don't like their parent and are like, I'm gonna call my dad a motherfucker while I have the chance. Fuck you, dad. He's like, they didn't,

they just gave you a little nitrous, buddy. Yeah. They didn't say this would last three days. I don't know. Make me waffles. You piece of shit. It was a week and a half ago.

Go cheat on mom some more. My, uh, my buddy Kyle, he separated his shoulder and we had to go into that we didn't have but we went with him because we were all skating and his mom came and met him there they juiced him up and they were gonna pop his shoulder back in and his mom's like it's it's gonna be okay kyle and he just looks over he's like shut the fuck up it was just so

cool to see it for real where i'm like, you don't talk like that. What a great wrinkle. What a great... It's never going to be enough for us to stop using anesthetic, but it's remarkable that it's also arguably a truth serum. Yeah. And you kind of got to take it on the chin if somebody you know, you're like, all right, okay, all right.

Yeah. Let it ride. I'm still your mom. I would be cracking up if my kid was cussing me out on anesthetic. It's pretty funny. Yeah. The only one I've ever saw is when the daughter's talking about and the dad's like, whoa. That one is like, you're like, oh, fuck. Jesus Christ.

Just let the hoods leave the cavity in. What's crazy is that you just let her have it. She's fine. We'll knock it out with a skate like it's cast away. You could always be to the doctor like she's good. I don't need to be in here, right? And then just I'm away in the hallway until this is like worn off. That's like five hours ago. You're like, so can I pick her up at about

830 p.m.? Is that cool? It is cold blooded. He's like, they're not going to remember, right? I don't want to hear about any hand jobs or anything. So I'll be back tomorrow. Can you sleep in the chair? Is that possible? Will you raise her from here on out? Maybe I'll get her around college,

take her to college. Well, the question is, why did you, why did we see that video about the hand jobs? You know what I mean? Like, I understand someone saying that.

I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. It's like uploaded. Yeah. You know, a big, a big question. someone saying that. Then the next step where it's like, uploaded. Yeah, I wouldn't know. You know, a big question in a lot of these is that, you know, it really always kind of shows the paradox we have where it's like, I'm mortified, but internet famous. Yeah, yeah.

And you kind of go post. It is interesting. I do like attention. Anesthesia videos and your third pick. Uh, let's see. Third pick. I am going to go.

Oh, black people watching egregious cooking videos. Oh, it's always. I didn't have the black people angle, but I have Oh, yeah. It's always... I didn't have the black people angle, but I had the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is great.

It's never bad. Because on both ends, like on the side of it, it's also just some of these cooking videos where you're like, what the fuck? It's like, you think about it, because some of them... I show my, I show my homie, he likes to cook a lot. And I showed him, and I showed him a video of that guy who makes meals in his hotel room. And my buddy was like, he was like, I'm fucking offended.

It is. So I got to see it in real life. Like, no, he's not. No, he's not. Like yelling at the screen. Because that shit is nasty. That guy. I mean, we all know the hotel

life. You cannot be like slow cooking pork in your hotel sink. It is. Dude, he's sous vide'ing a chicken in the toilet tank. It really is truly serious. Yeah, like it's like barbecuing with an iron. The guy, it really is.

And by the way, we're not talking like Sheratons. We're talking like Super 8s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Motels, Holiday Inn. What a Lincoln. I mean, I won't watch it right now, but I want to have it. Oh man, it's fun. And it's like,

it's just, it's so dirty. Let me see if I can It's also like, imagine following that guy. Like, you always live with the ghost of the last guest. That guy, you'd be like, it's just, it's so dirty. Let me see if I can. It's also like, imagine following that guy. Like you always live with the ghost of the last guest. That guy, you'd be like, sorry, there's pork on the iron. Yeah. Yeah. I hope. I hope.

I pray. Why does it smell like Frito pie in here? Is he, is this thing that kind of uses the amenities to make the movie? It's like, I'm like, they're like alive in the wild. He's like, he's like a hotel MacGyver. He's like I'm like alive in the wild. He's like a hotel MacGyver. He's like Bear Grylls in a hotel. The farthest I've got is using something for

a fork. Like I've used some wild stuff for a fork. I've used the coffee stirrers. He has like chopsticks in a pinch. I'm sending you one. Yeah, he's got the sous vide in this one. And he like he mixes shit on the counter. Oh, yeah. there's no... Yes. Like it's

like it's a Mongolian grill or something, but he's on the counter. Oh, that is sick. I do think some of the... I almost think the machine has become self-aware at this point with some of these cooking videos where like they know the more egregious they make it, the more like

it will travel. It has to be. It has to be. It has to be. Because some of the shit is like, well, it'll just be like they know the more egregious they make it the more like it will travel yeah it has because some of the shit is like or it'll just be like they're cooking chicken in the microwave and you're like yeah you want like a white lady being like i'm making my authentic you know what i mean like biscuits and gravy and then it's just she's pouring hot dogs into a bowl of like lucky charms and you're like what the fuck are you doing well what's also great about the genre is that you do get a minute of like, I like when the person comes in like 15 seconds into the video. So for a minute, you're kind of going like, I'm a little interested. And then someone is the straight man of like, this should not be happening.

And you're like, this actually should not be happening. I mean, I'm watching what you just sent, David. And it is, I mean, I'm watching what you just sent, David, and it is, I mean, I think I've even seen this one before and it is un-fucking-real what this motherfucker is doing. It sucks.

He doesn't have shoes on. It's like so bad. Oh, he knows what he's doing. It's just macaroni in the sink. In the sink. He doesn't wash the sink out. Think about the sink in a hotel. I'd rather not most of the time. Everything has been done in a hotel, in every part of the hotel.

You got to get past that. Every time I walk in, I'm like, you're here. You're already here. You're adding your verse to the great poem of that hotel room. You're signing the You're already here. You're adding your verse to the great poem of that hotel room. You're signing the club wall. Yeah. I usually make it on the sheets, but yeah.

Or the curtains if I'm feeling froggy. Oh, I check out to 11? Let me go sign the curtains real quick. Sean Jordan. Time for your third pick. I like crazy mountain biking videos. Oh, yeah.

GoPro on it. Those are Kyle mountain bikes, Kyle Kinane mountain bikes. And so I kind of have like somebody to pitch it to. I'll send him these videos and I'm like, how buck is this? And he usually responds

with like a scale of how buck it is because he, even the stuff he does to me is absolutely bonkers. Yeah. And that's low key compared to these. These fools are jumping like canyons. They're doing like snowboard jumps, but on a

I just I don't get how you're how the shocks absorb it. And also like they'll be going and you're like, there's no turn. There's no turn. And then they find the turn. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, it's very you get the experience because you are like well i don't like the look of that and i'm watching this on instagram i think oh god yeah with arriving like along cliffs edges and stuff like that shit oh yeah yeah i saw a story once where it was like a dude died doing

that where you're like oh so it does happen like they they- Oh, it has to. It has to. I have a fear of heights. And it is just when you're in control of the height. That's what gives me. And what, I can't even explain the sensation that kind of goes through me when I feel the fear watching those things. But it almost feels like a major drop in my level of height. Absolutely.

I feel, it's almost like someone knocks my balls into my I feel this unbelievable uncontrolled phobia. And yeah, you get a lot of those bikers doing that. When they make it to the bottom, I'm just like, oh, it's such a fun journey.

They get off the bike and I'm like, leave the bike where it's at. Sean, to be be honest the only reason why you can enjoy that is because you've seen a couple fall off I know what can happen yes you need to know the stakes I've been on the razor's edge baby yeah right

you should get to follow them to like the cafe where they're having pancakes and you know what I mean I want to see the follow up videos yeah them watching mountain bike videos on their phone. Puts a fork in their eye. You're like, oh! Comes home, can't help his son.

Can't help his son with his math homework. Goes to the garage, pounds like 10. Yeah, these are the other videos I put up. That's a great pick. Yeah, these are the other videos I put up. Yeah, they're normally. That's a great pick. We're going to get to Gareth's next pick right after another short break.

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And we're back. Welcome to All Fantasy, everything already in progress. One of millions of podcasts, all of equal valor. There probably are probably, there are not millions. Hundreds of thousands? I think Ian overtook the note.

It's nice to hear that he's open. Find in the middle? Find somewhere in the middle. Yeah. I got you. There's like 70. it's nice to hear that he's open find in the middle alright alright there's like 70 70 podcasts that would be tough to hear

probably have better downloads honestly one of 70 podcasts Christ Garrett it's time for your third pick okay it's tough I your third pick. Okay. Um, it's tough. I mean, that is what is great about this show is it really does get you, you got it down. Yeah.

You got to call the herd. And, um, and this was a tough one for me because I do hate sort of what this has brought. This is used a lot of times in ways that I don't love in our society now. But I got to be honest, there is a lot of fruits born out of the ring cam. Oh, yeah. Something on the ring cam. Whether it be a drunk person not being able to make it with their food to the front door. I mean, that's awesome.

A UPS driver cussing out the person who lives there. Or even like kind of to the near miss point, like a wild coyote almost eating a child and a person saving it. The ring cam gives you a real front yard POV. And I always get excited when I see it. It's a panopticon of suburban everything. It is. Yes. It's like everything that happens in the suburbs, all stuff that like wild i have never wanted a ring cam so bad we live when i lived at the inn and i've told this

story before but i walked up to the front door with like 50 buffalo wings and there was a coyote on our porch and i talked to the coyote like it was a robber i was just i was like it's cool it's cool and i was backing up because i'm like, I know that Coyote wants these buffalo wings. They have to. And I was just trying to reason. Because it was wearing a Motley Crue t-shirt, you know what I mean? It was drinking a Miller High Life. It was ready to have a good time too. Zach just got it stoned.

We could split a J if I could get a couple wings. Easy, Yodi. I just backed up and it went. I just backed up and it went i just backed up and coyotes aren't confrontational and i know that but i just i also know the buffalo wings are dank and so yeah but you also don't know you're doing the coyote wing math in your head which is not something we've had to do a ton they're not confrontational but has anyone

approached them with wings yeah has anyone ever walked up with like 50 little like, here's dinner man, and it's all flavored. It doesn't taste like blood. It's really good. Some of these are sweet. Some of these are spicy. Yeah, would a coyote like mango habanero or no? I mean, I think that's what like a skunk tastes like sometimes. Offering at the ranch. You should do it

if you can. I don't know how your mouth works. I took all the bones out. I got all the hair done. I know you don't like that. So it's yeah, but it would have been tight just to see the ring cam footage. We could have made up some subtitles. It would have been, it would have been viral.

Yeah. No, it does. It just provides that porch insight that we never really had before. Yep. Sometimes you get like heartwarming ones too. You know what I mean? Where it's like the neighborhood loves this UPS driver, like whatever it is, you know, a sprinkle of that. It's so funny. There's a guy, it was probably like, probably like six or seven years ago at this point, he, he was this jacked UPS driver and he

just kept like making goofy faces or something. And this article, people sent us this article a bunch because it's like this hunky ups guy is making goofy faces and all this stuff and they like reached him for comment and all he said was listen to the dollar podcast that's what i listen to when i drive and we were like oh shit yeah awesome but his name is colby yeah we follow each other yeah but uh but uh colby colby that he's very hot he's very hot our waiter was the colby the hot guy. He's very hot. He's very hot. Our waiter was the Colby the hot guy.

The green room waiter. Shelby the hot guy. Shelby is Arizona Colby. I was telling Laura this. This dude, he comes in the green room and obviously somebody will be like, and you're David? I think he said that to Ian. And Ian goes, no, my name's Ian, but you can call me whatever you want.

And he goes, all right, asshole, what are you having? Wow. It was perfect. I was like, oh, Shelby, you're in there like swimwear playboy. Hell yeah, dude. You can come do the show. Yeah. I had him fired for that.

Obviously. Yeah, he doesn't work there anymore. It's enjoyable to laugh about it, but it's also an egregious betrayal. Disrespectful. Yeah. Rude in the green room. Yeah, absolutely not. Yeah, goodbye. Ring camp. Fantastic pick. Yeah, seriously. We're excited to have

ring camp. We really are. Got a good team. Well, I mean, we're excited to see what ring camp can do with Karens. I mean, I'll be honest. Yeah, I mean, if you get them both in the backfield, it should be all right. Yeah, I mean, again, you won't know how these picks pan out two three years but for now it would be nice to have them in camp I'm going

I mean this is one of the like cornerstones that the internet is built on can't believe it lasted this long considering who else I'm drafting against in this draft I'm thinking Katz on the list great work it's probably my favorite thing to

watch if i'm being honest yeah i just love i'm fucking they're weirdos they're little weirdos they're so weird just the i like watching a cat pod just repeatedly and a cat not making a jump is one of my favorite videos. Ian, you really are. My draft room right now, it's somber. We're happy with what we've got, but there is a little bit of silence. Throwing down clipboards. Yeah. We could have traded up.

I have a favorite cat video. It's the one where it keeps cutting. So the cat's coming, and then the phone will go behind the wall and come back, and the cat will be closer, but it's just there. Yeah, that's my favorite cat video. There's that. There's like videos of people setting up obstacles for their cats to get through where they're like,

like setting up cups. And then the cat has to like go around the cups. Those are great. A great one, which is when the cat, for some reason, it's a Testament to the, the,

the species doesn't feel size fear. It can see a bear and be like, get the fuck out of here. There's multiple cats scaring off alligators, bears, coyotes, whatever it is. The cat doesn't... I'm sure there's a

lot of them that end with an alligator being like, I'm going to eat you. But a lot of times the alligator is like, I don't want that. I got no hell no. Yeah, they just have one. All you I'm going to eat you. But a lot of times the alligator is like, I don't want that. I got. Yeah. Yeah. They, they, they just have one.

And when, uh, all you have is a hammer. Every problem looks like a nail. Yes. Laser pointers. Yeah. Oh,

the laser pointer video is great. A cat with a weird meow is fantastic. It's just knocking stuff over. Oh, just like eye contact with somebody. Just like,ocking stuff over. Oh, just like eye contact with somebody. Fuck your oil well. Yeah.

Why? They're just fantastic. They are little weirdos. Full-blown simp for cats. I also have cat art. I'm surprised it's not in our office. Paintings of our cats. I got mugs with our cats. I have another one here.

It's genuinely like pathetic. What is it? It's just that people will give me cat stuff and I love it. And so my cat, like when my cat goes, which I'm hoping will never happen, it will. I think I'll just turn my home into a mausoleum. It's going to be the easier fix. A big litter box. Yeah.

Yeah. It'll just be like easier to go in that direction at that point. You'll be sealed in there with it. That's my plan. Absolutely. I plan on going at the exact same time. Sort of a reverse Pharaoh situation. Exactly.

Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. So that's my third pick. Great pick. Just cats in general. Shout out to cats. And then, okay, so I'm taking for my fourth pick and let me know if this is too broad,

but old people interacting with technology. That's fine. I love it. Yeah. Just that Italian lady. Hey, Google. That's the exact one. That's so good. Her using a Google assistant. Hey, Google. Hey, Google.

It's nice to meet you. She just goes, boom. Like it's a ghost. Yeah. Ghost. It's also so easy to take advantage of them. I saw one the other day where these people convinced the grandmother that Grand Theft Auto was the news. Oh, no. grandmother that grand theft auto was the news and uh and the grandmother the grandmother was

like the family was really stoking it by going oh no and they all knew obviously and the grandmother they just kept filming her and she's like oh oh it's like cars are running through people and can you even imagine if you thought grand theft auto was real for even a second some of these people were born before flight yeah the world has already gotten crazy so fast yeah why for for a hundred thousands even of years it was farming farming farming farming and then all of a sudden it's like oh shit well maybe anything's possible there's a guy shooting cars out of the ground and grand theft auto this is less weird than us being on the moon so okay sure yeah yeah Okay, sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. That is so funny.

Yeah. I, yeah, I just love, I love the old person interacting videos. God bless them. Great. Garrett, time for your fourth pick. Oh, God, it's tough to follow that. That's a great point. They were around before flight, but I'm really torn, but I'm

going to go with drunk person passed out first. Oh, yeah. Classic. The person who's conked out and then either they're going to get drawn on or we're going to start stacking stuff on them and seeing what we can pull off.

There's just a lot of fun. Yeah, exactly. It just feels like, you know, it's again, it's a complimentary player. We're not expect, but again,

we'll put them in the system, see what we can get out. I think what we did the most was pile things on people, was just put like all the stuff in the party, all the cups. Oh, yeah.

I wasn't a big drawer. I wasn't a big like actually anything that would bum you out. I just, somebody would wake up when there'd be like 60 Solo cups all over them. That kind of thing. It is also fun to watch the person

with penises drawn all over their face wake up, though. I mean, again, it's not like a great friend, but as far as a viewer, you're like, this is great where they're just like, dude, can I just like get a minute? You're like, buddy, you have your cock face for at least three days. Let us sharpie.

You do feel bad too. It's like, man, all they did was try to go to sleep. Their body told them they were done. They tried to listen to their body and they were punished so harshly. They are doing it in a living room. If it is bedtime, you need to make the clear distinction that you are leaving the room.

Yes. I don't know. Our buddy used to say goodnight and we made fun of him so ruthlessly. If he was done, he'd be like, I'm going to go to bed. Good night. And we're like, dude, don't say good night. It was almost easier just to pass out

in the living room. Or just sneak off. That's what I do. I just do the Irish night night. I'll just go find an area. When we had parties at our house when we lived together, that's what i do i just do the the irish night night i'll just go like find an area yeah when we had parties at our house when we lived together i would just that's what i did i would just be gone all of a sudden sleeping in the room next door to the party you just gotta get out of there you don't make a big thing you know because you're gonna get pushed back yeah the pass out in the living room the pass out in the living room is offering your body up as a field of play yeah

so i think you think you're allowed. You might as well be a fucking air hockey table at that point. Like if you're passing out in the room full of drunk people. Yeah. Well, and it is like, it just starts small. I mean, anyone that you see where someone is going to have Jenga face, you know, someone just puts like a fucking paperclip on there for a laugh. And then they're like, you think we can get a chair on his forehead?

Yeah. Just dumping ashtrays in his pockets. Yeah. Hammered engineering. Yeah. Sean Jordan, time for your fourth pick. This is a newer one that's been popping up, but I cannot turn away. It's dodgeball highlights.

Really? Oh, yeah. There's this one that's been going around. So this dude threw a ball and it hit someone's thigh and then bounced into this woman's hands and she caught it and she held the ball out and taunted him and kind of flipped him off. So the

dude came back in. I don't know the rules of dodgeball, but somehow he got back in. He's got the ball and he points one way and he fakes and he turns, does a turn spin throw that's so powerful and accurate and it hits her right in the face

but it's a dodgeball so who cares? And then she flips him off and screams, fuck you, but she's out and he doesn't even look at her. It's,

I mean, so now it's popping up in my feet all the time, all these dodgeball highlights. It's sick. It's very fun to watch. I don't know what's happening. I'm going to push back

and I'm going to say you do know the rules of dodgeball. Yeah, you do. I only know him from the movie Dodgeball. And I don't know if that was accurate or not. Those will get you pretty far. You never played dodgeball in school? Well, you catch it. But I mean, I don't know if there's new rules.

You catch it. You're there out. You get hit. You're out. I think you've got it. Three catches in a row. You get to bring someone else in. Yeah.

Is that how it goes? I think so. Well, look, I mean, I thought it three catches in a row you get to bring someone else in yeah maybe is that how it goes I think so well look I mean I thought it was every catch somebody gets wait Garrett I'll tell you this I like a pushback when I when you're right and I get to look good a lot of times on the pushbacks like oh I feel stupid I try to I'm one of the few positive pushbackers and you do

yeah yeah you're peeing in sub-pulps I'm a head I'm ahead. I'm sure that's enough air callback. I haven't seen the dodgeball. I can't wait to see these. I got to get them in the algorithm. I'll send you the one I'm talking about.

I'll find it. Send me that so I can feed it to the machine. Dodgeball is a game, too. I would play it right now. Absolutely. That'll never get old. The way they have bowling alleys, they should have adult dodgeball pickup games. That's very true.

I would love that. I'd go to a couple. Yes. What kind of balls, though? Yeah. Old school. Not the kickballs. Those red ones that you would hear it.

Yeah. You hear it inside your head when you got brain. Yeah. Yeah. Sort of like balloons were like, what if we were a weapon? Those would be fights. I think we need the soft ones that are all like the same thickness all the way through that's like

a thick pillow. Those ones. Oh, kind of nerfy? Kind of nerfy. Yeah. I think the other ones you could also take a little air out of the other ones and get a grip on them and really really throw them. Can you dip the Nerf ones in some water? Elevate it? Just have a water barrel out there so they slap?

That's nice. That would be like playing catch in a lake with a big Nerf ball. Could you play dodgeball with water balloons? Oh, I don't know. I guess you can't catch it, though. But, I mean, Mighty Ducks taught us anything. You got to treat it like an egg, but you could do it. You could.

Sometimes those water balloons don't fucking they're not ready to be part of this. It'll like wrap around someone's neck and then just fall to the ground. I thought that was going to explode in your hand. What if we do it? Water balloons, highlight lacrosse. Okay.

I think we're into fights again. Now I think we're into fights. Give me out paint filled water balloons. So then, you know, you got like in 10 things we're into fights. Get me out. Paint-filled water balloons so then you know you got got. Like in 10 Things I Hate About You. Oh, yeah! We're going to play the worst version of paintball ever. We're doing it for the gun!

What are you talking about? Nobody wants to throw the paintball. I'm not a Zelda character with paintballs. I want the gun I came for the gun Sean we're in Seattle We should play water balloons with paintballs You better

We'll do it right on Main Street I'm sure there's a Main Street somewhere You know what the most popular name Of streets in America is? Or most common, I guess. Is it Maple? It's Second Street. Oh, interesting.

First Street is usually Main Street. It'll go first and then second, third. Yeah. Did not know. I mean, Maple's up there, but whatever. People come here. You're going to push back. You're out of your element.

You know the rules to dodgeball But know when you're beat I mean Sycamore's probably up there A lot of trees, Birchwood's probably up there Sean's drafting Maple in this conversation I'm going to take Maple They think they're just going to laugh They learn a lot I will use that

I drive across the country I will definitely at one point be like, well, the reason why. Yeah. 30 hours into a drive or something. I was like, I hate this guy.

You know, there's actually a pretty good reason behind that. Uh, where are we at? David, time for your fourth and then your final picks. Okay. Uh,

fourth pick. These have been coming up in my feed a lot lately, which is good. Cause I needed a positive. I thought you were going to say witches. I thought it was witches for a second. Never that. That was crazy. I needed a positive turn in the feed. So these have been really, really, really good.

It's the how did you meet couple stories? Oh, I love it. That's good, dude. Those are so sweet. You know, how did you meet? And then how long you been together? What's your favorite thing about them? Always nice. Always nice to watch.

They never are a bummer. It's like just positive content. I saw this one that they were in New York where it was like two people walking and like the dude was clearly like upset that like a TikToker was stopping him to be in a video. You know what I mean? Like they grabbed him and he was like, hey man, I don't want't want to and like how did the two of you meet and as soon as he asked the dude like his face lit up and he was like so excited to talk about her that it was like

oh it's so sweet they're always like because yeah sometimes it'll be i think a lot of them are in new york but sometimes it'll be like they're clearly rushing to do something and you see them break or they'll be like oh i've seen've seen this. It's just very... Oh, it's my turn. Yeah, it's very positive. Always nice to see. I really like it. That's very nice. What a sweet touch to have on the roster. Thank you. You need

a good one every now and again. It can't all be fights in bathrooms. What if my next home is public stabbings? Yeah, I'll take it. Public stabbings. Just funer'll take it. Public stabbings. Just funerals. Just footage of a funeral going okay. How did the two of us meet?

What? It's because I stabbed you. Yeah. No, remember? We were at that Taco Bell. I picked up one of the light chains. It floated to space. It's like a piece of paper,

those things. I don't know what they're made out of. How did you meet Laura? How did I meet Laura? She was doing improv And I said, this woman is beautiful I said that to my buddy And my friend's like

And I'm gonna marry you And then later my friend texted me And he's like, hey, she's into it And I was like, into what? I didn't say anything And he goes, she thinks you're cute She'll go on a date And then I sent her a message on Facebook

And she said, if you call me Then we can talk about it So I had to call her on the phone. Gangster shit. Old fashioned. Here we are. It's pretty good. David, how did you and your, are you comfortable sharing that on here?

Oh, we were in a fight at a Taco Bell. Okay. Tracks. Yeah. I met my wife on this podcast. I was there. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty obvious too. I had no idea. That's what David and I could tell from Jump Street. I met my wife on this podcast I was there Is that right? Yeah

It was pretty obvious too That's what David and I could tell from Jump Street I was like oh I think he's probably gonna I remember thinking I'd be like It'd be dumb if he didn't try to follow up with that I think you side texted me and you're like They're feeling each other right? And I go yeah I think so

It was pretty apparent You drafted her I drafted her into my life. The number one thing I want in my life. But Gareth, I mean, it could happen for us, too. Well, I was going to say, it feels like you shut the door. But if there's a possibility, I've been side texting a lot of people. One in a million talk.

Gareth, do you have a cute story you feel comfortable sharing? No. I don't have. My stories are all pretty bad. They're all pretty much just like yeah she followed me on instagram so i was like hey can i cross the professional line comfortably or are you one of these stay away people hit her up and you're like hey i always i dm everyone that follows me because i'm cool yeah yeah how you doing i'm doing this uh date

with every fan documentary will you be a part of it? Is that possible? I mean, yo, that's how I met my wife. Was sliding into DMs, asking her to be on the podcast. You know, ulterior motives. It's changed the game. Yeah, but I am

very reticent to ever I'll make moves in the direction but I'll never straight up. Because I do think there is something so bad about being like, you know what I mean? Like that level of, like if someone's, if you met someone at a show and they follow you and then you creep them out, you're like, wow, that's real bad. That's awful. That's a real bad feeling. If you're like, I will provide a fertile bed of soil.

And if you feel like planting a seed in it, that's Shall we water or just proceed, people? Either way is fine. I just want to figure out, can we corn? Yeah. Can we corn? Are we corning? David, time for your final pick.

Oh, I'm taking these terrible party drinks like when they'll make like a you know what I mean where it's like 20 bottles of vodka 8 cans of lemonade 25 sun

kisses you know what I mean and you always watch it all the way through and you're always like no no no I don't think it works exponentially like that. If you like a little sun kiss, a little lemonade, a little vodka, that can be a drink, but like gallons and gallons of each. I'm like, I don't think it works.

It always looks crazy, but you always watch the whole video. Like I'm always like cinnamon. When I was a kid, we were doing it for love of the game. I mean, you just be in a restaurant and someone would just make it up and it would be like, maybe you'd get a little pool of money. But for the most part, there was no filming. You just be like,

I'm going to straight up just drink this. I'm going to drink a baked potato. When we were kids, we used to make it like we'd make trash can Kool-Aid or like we had this thing called liquid crack

that we would make in the sink and drink. And here you are judging the motel chef. Oh alcohol is clean i i wasn't i wasn't making chicken i wasn't making chicken in a fucking bathtub i somehow got salmonella from the motel six and i didn't eat any meat yeah i wasn't i didn't fucking make a stew in the toilet bowl. Prohibition era chicken parmesan. Also, to be fair, we washed the sink before we did it. And it's a home sink, too.

There's a lot of differences. There's a lot of differences. I'm still judging that guy. I hope you listen. That guy, the way he eats it. It sucks. It's like from top to bottom, you are against him being able to pull this off. I hate it.

I think it should be illegal. It's awful. It is awful. These bar drinks also should be illegal, but fun to like the one guy he'll put like a bag of Jolly Ranchers in there and you're like, what the fuck? But then after it's done, you're always like, I'd have a glass. Yeah. I'd have a big party.

I've tried worse. For sure. I've tried worse. For sure. I've tried worse. So yeah, those are always fun. And it is creative in how gnarly they are. You know what I mean? We're like,

Oh, this one he's using juicy juice or whatever. Legos. Yeah. So yeah, big nasty or big party. That's good. Sean,

your final pick. Parkour videos. I always mean it. I mean, it's one of those things. I know, Ian, you even used to have a joke, but I can't believe we're the same kind of... At one point, we had the same abilities, me and parkour people, when we were kids.

Your babies, you look the same. We learned how to walk the same. But then they... It's crazy. And the way that you could die, I swear to God, some of these fools will jump onto a flat wall of a building four stories in the air and somehow Spider-Man down it. I don't know it.

I mean, it's, I don't care how much upper body you got. I don't, but it works. They're doing it. I don't know. I can't look away. It's like a thing where like when you see animals move or it's like, yeah, but they just don't have the fear of move. You know what I mean?

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe if I tried something,, yeah, but they just don't have the fear of moving. You know what I mean? Maybe. Maybe if I tried something. I mean, there's just on hikes and stuff. We hiked around Mount Hood and there's a couple rivers where I was like, I can't do that. But then I jumped across it barely. I was like, oh, well, shit. Maybe. I don't know. People are capable of a lot if you treat your body okay.

And those animals do fall from time to time like they, you time. That's the part you forget. You'll even see a monkey, you'll be like, oh, she's a little short on that. Yeah. Or a squirrel that missed you. Yeah. Yeah.

Parkour fools. They're always in Paris, too. It's always a very foreign Parisian. We're going to parliament. It's never like a very foreign beautiful... Parisian. Yeah. Yeah, and they're like, we're going to parliament. It's never like a dollar general in the background. Although, I've seen like dudes, you ever see

dudes like practicing out in the wild? Oh yeah, I've got a few buddies that do it. They were on American Ninja Warrior and stuff, but they can do crazy... Wow. Yeah, shout out Jake Mizzle. He can do not Jake Murray, but he can do crazy shit, man. God. Yeah, I can't believe... Wow. I'm a not Jake Murray, but he can do crazy shit, man. God. I can't believe. Wow. I'm a little starstruck

and he's not even here. The Mizzle. I'm pretty sure he won one. He lived in Denver for a long time. That's crazy. I'm airing him out. Gareth, your final pick. All right. Well, bringing up the end again, I mean, I feel like again, this is an investment.

Sports when the camera at a live sporting event lands on people and it makes it to the Internet, it's normally either because something, well, something bad is going to happen. And most times it's unrequited romance. Oh, the kiss cam rejection. It's unrequited romance. Kiss cam rejection. The kiss cam rejection when you actually,

you get a couple of things, but yes, you are able to see in real time an official friend zoning or the engagement. No, which does happen too. Those both kill me. The kiss cam one. The kiss cam one. Oh yeah. Have you seen the kiss cam one where he goes for it and she's like no way and then she

kisses the guy behind her. Bro everybody's getting shot. I'm not doing that. There are no survivors. Yeah that is crazy to think about. Game. Game ended. You know There are no survivors. Yeah, that is crazy. We're going to watch the rest of this fucking game? Game ended.

You know he paid for the tickets too? Like, God damn it. It's bad. Yeah, that would be. You get a kid. Like, you get that kid who goes like, ah. You get the kid. Sometimes a kid is having like the best night of their life on those cameras.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, becomes a star of a game. Yeah. Yeah. Go back to them like several times in the game. Yeah. And they're like, people are loving them and the kids experiencing what we all want.

I mean, literally in a condensed form. That's what I'm in the business for. Absolutely. There's those ones they'll tap their shoulder and they'll look up like, Oh shit. And they'll get in the aisle and just do this crazy dance. You're like,

you've been, you've been waiting for this. Yeah. All the way down the stairs. All the Fortnite dances. Depending on what website you're on, somebody's fucking. I remember those.

I've never seen that one. You've never seen that? Oh, yeah. There's a few of them online. I don't know. It says a lot that I don't even remember. The internet has damaged my mind. No, I think this is a good thing. Have I seen someone fuck on Kiss Cam?

The big Kiss Cam, they call that. The ultimate Kiss Cam. We'll get there. This is the room. This is the room. This is day one, you know? Yeah. Excellent pick.

And time for my final pick. This is a TikTok specific one but it's the using the stitch feature where someone will take I've seen it done with like a cat meowing or like a squeaky chair or like a laundry machine and then someone else

will come in and add like another instrument to it like a musician will add an instrument to it and then someone else will come in and add another like instrument to it and they'll build up this like huge song just based off of like a funny sounding thing and it's amazing and like people sing on it's like i don't know it's one of those things where you're like being in in entertainment while all this is happening it's like a terrifying thing where like now some of the funniest people are just giving shit away for free on TikTok or whatever. But then there's moments where you're like,

oh, it is amazing that like this dude's an insurance adjuster in Peoria, but also he's great at bass guitar or this dude sings like a pirate and he has a day job, but like they can come together and people are like endlessly creative and original. And it is beautiful to see that,

uh, every now and then, even if it is terrifying. Yeah. The stitch is one we didn't even tap into really a little bit. I mean, uh, David a little bit,

but, um, that is a great one. That really is. When you see the sound effect being utilized and you're like, God, this thing actually slapped. Yeah. Yeah.

And then all of a sudden it's some dude in Uzbekistan with like some instrument, you know what I mean? The internet's so wild like that. I got this dude. I follow on Instagram. All he does is swing like bowling balls into glass jars full of different dyed water.

And he just breaks them them and I just watch it every video he posts. I'm glad you didn't draft that. It wasn't going to make the list. It's just cool watching these. What's her name? The Trickshot Queen? I could watch her for hours. Trickshot videos are also dope.

You Perfect has made an empire off of it, right? Now they're huge. Whatever those two brothers, the ping pong balls and anyway, whatever. Yeah. I think to what you were saying, though, Ian, it's like, that's really what it like in my lifetime in entertainment.

It has gone from like, you got to get people to come to your live shows to like, well, have you ever tried to throw a ping pong ball into a pool a mile away? I'm like, look, I am. It's comedy is what I'm trying for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can do the comedy.

But first, you have to figure out. Do you have a phantom camera and you could maybe shoot an arrow through some dried colored water? It's fill a tuba with soup and then play it at people on the street. This guy. So I'm opening for the tuba soup guy. These are all good ideas. He's pretty good. I got soup tuba. a tuba with soup and then play it at people on the street. This guy. So I'm opening for the tuba soup guy. These are all good ideas. He's pretty good.

I got soup tuba. Soup tuba. He's awesome. I mean, look, say what you will about him, but his fans are incredible. They're great. Yeah, they're real nice. You know, soup tuba, Ian, go. Do it.

I'm doing it. He's just a cool guy. In home, he's not soup tuba. I mean, I relate to a lot of his soup stuff. Like, I love, I love like a squash. It was, yeah, actually. You ever heard Beethoven in a minestrone? It's amazing.

Soup tuba. He had the most powerful response to the situation in Ukraine that I've seen so far. He really, yeah, yeah. He's sending a lot of soup. He's over there. He's over in Ukraine right now. Everybody's worried about Taylor Swift. is Soup Tuba gonna endorse Biden they're all here tonight

Soup Tuba oh I think he's fucking someone in the stands Christ that's not soup pan away that's Soup Tuba that's just some guy oh my god that's my final guy. Oh my God. That's my final pick. The final pick of the draft.

But Super Producer Isaac, do you have a pick? Yeah, Ian, you took cats. I'm going to take dogs. There we go. Fair. Dogs. Cute dogs.

Not as good as cats. No. I think on the video front. I don't put them hierarchically, but I love a cute dog I love an adorable dog I love a big dog and a small dog together I love it

what are you two up to well we didn't even get into that genre unlikely animal friends this elephant's my boy how did this happen it's a cheetah and a ferret you're like how'd you this happen? It's a cheetah and a ferret. You're like, how'd you get a cheetah? Yeah.

But they grew up together. Into ferret country. Yeah. It's just imprinting. Excellent pick, Iceman. Well, hell yeah. Just to recap, David, you went first and you took slingshot videos,

anesthesia videos, black people watching bad cooking how did you meet and terrible party drinks sean you went second you took fights at the fast food counter near misses mountain biking dodgeball highlights and parkour gareth you went third and you took white women being filmed rope swing i could have gone either way on that ring cams uh the drunk person who passed out first and the camera at a live sporting event i went last and i took plausible cryptozoology newscasters messing up cats old person old people interacting with technology and then those one those stitch things where a bunch of instruments stitch onto each other.

Uh, we left stuff on the board, but I mean, though we left the whole of the internet on the board. Yeah. All the rest of it is every single other thing. I mean, good stuff though.

Let us know what we missed. Uh, hit us all up on Twitter, all fantasy pod on Twitter, all fancy podcast at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the all fantasy, everything Patreon, where we have auction drafts, mailbags,

live episodes. Live Phoenix app coming at ya. Live Phoenix coming at ya, exclusively on the Patreon. And of course, Isaac's beautiful, tasteful nudes. Tasteful. Tasteful. They're great. Watercolor series coming up. Marriage material. Yeah, it's really beautiful.

Shout out to everyone on the AFV subreddit. Shout out to super producer Isaac on the ones and twos and also in the crowd of Phoenix producing in real time, baby. Yeah, those days. In real time. Wearing a black leather jacket the entire time he was in the Valley of the Sun. Handle it, though.

Killin' it. Shout out to San Su, Carmel. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. And shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats, and more important than all of that, tune in again next week to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.

Sha-clackity! that was a hate gun podcast