All Fantasy Everything - Voices (w/ Katie Nolan, Sean Jordan & David Gborie)

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

All Fantasy Everything presents: The Voice. Not the singing completion show, the... the... it's, we're drafting voices. Katie Nolan is back. Please don't sue us.Episode Guest:Katie Nolan @katienolan IG: @natiekolan Podcast: Sports? with Katie NolanSponsors:Feals: Become a member and get 50% off your first order with free shipping at feals.com/allfantasy.Hawthorne: Go to Hawthorne.co and use promo code ALLFANTASY for 10% off your first purchase.Manscaped: Get 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code ALLFANTASY.Hims: Go to forhims.com/allfantasy5 for your free visit.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is all Fantasy Everything, the podcast where we fantasy draft anything and everything from the world of pop culture, from birds to condiments and everything else in between. And trust me, there's a lot in between. Today, we're drafting the best voices because what our podcast put voices.

Will any of us draft each other probably not it doesn't go down like that joining us as she is for the entire month is katie nolan host of the sports podcast and a talent in so many other fields i i can't name them right now without going on for too long also joining me always, are comedians Sean Jordan and David Borey. I'm your host, Ian Carmel. Let's hear that beautiful theme music. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast has, count them up, two candles going right now. Two candles.

Will they meet each other in Link Enchanting Smells? Or will they go to war, creating something terrible in the room I'm sitting in right now? Stay tuned to find out. What like that. What are the candles? What are the scents? One of them is Juniper and Spruce by Neera Native. And the other is Lys, which is in reach, by Diptyque. Okay. Man.

You got those expensive candles. I just had to explain the existence of expensive candles to Dan last week. I was like, you know there's people who buy gourmet candles. Yeah, he knows one of them because he knows me. I did not take you for a diptyque. Oh, I'm an expensive candleman. I'm an expensive candleman.

Yeah, he's where I got it. Now I got him a rock and wood up in the bedroom. That's right. What? Because I trust both those things. Did you say you're rock and wood? You're rock and wood up in the bedroom. That's right. Yeah. Cause I trust both those things. Do you say you're rocking wood? You're rocking wood up in the bedroom? Come on guys.

No reason to talk about your boners. Huh? This is a PG 13 podcast. It is a PG 13. I appreciate. Let's talk about. Oh God. You got to.

Okay. I was babysitting the other day and this kid, I was babysitting. He's friends with, listen, this is fucking awesome. I'll allow it. He's friends with Laura's nephew.

All right. So I was babysitting him. Just, babysitting him just i ended up why did you say that i'm so glad my name hasn't been said on the podcast yet i can still creep out of this room go ahead here by the way listen to this again so he had a there was a skeleton on the wall in the closet now there's it was holding a bone and he looks at it and he goes yeah this is the skeleton we call him boner because he has bones and stuff and he did not say it at all ironically he doesn't know what a boner is it was and i could not could not talk for 10 minutes probably i was it you've never heard a kid say that just like yeah we call him boner because you never heard a kid say that oh my god in a few years this is bad i don't believe you never

heard a kid say that. Not knowing what they were saying, though. It's a thing. How old did you say? He's five. Oh my God. And he wasn't talking about boners like David just was, where he said, I have wood in my bedroom.

Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me. His family just lets him call the skeleton boner? This is on him, not on... Nobody checks that? Somebody should step in. He's going to go to zoom school like oh yeah boner in the closet yesterday

I was dying I showed my boner to my dad whoa hey what's up and uncle Sean he comes over sometimes it was very funny anyway sorry David I caught off your sex story about your room you were talking about your wood in your room I wasn't. It wasn't even a sex story.

It was that I have a Moroccan wood candle. Sounds like a sex story. I'm rocking wood? Listen, years ago, when I was a younger man, 32-year-old David, mo' rocking wood. He would have done that. 33, not so much. No.

Dignified. Dignified. Dignified. What's a boner? I don't even know. It's a a hard it's an erect penis yeah well back on some semblance of rails i try i try it i can't you know what i mean i can only i can i can only drive the train so far well tell the erection specialist over here to fucking stop talking body on the job listen david what I think we all are waiting for.

Yes. Is an aqua de joe or whatever update. Okay, so. Aquadigio. Aquadigio. An aqua de joe update, dude. I always thought it was one word and then I saw it and I was like, oh, that does make more sense than aquadigio. It's like six words.

Like aphrodisiac. Yeah, I think so. So here's what happened. First of all, apparently I was very drunk. aphrodisio it's like six words like aphrodisiac yeah i think so so here's what happened first of all apparently i was very drunk another scent came in the next day i'll buy that too yeah i don't know man i've done that i've done that uh so tell me you got by dior you got isn't that robert pattinson's? It's the Johnny Depp cologne. Johnny Depp.

I didn't know. I was just clicking stuff. I didn't know. I didn't know. You're going to smell like patchouli. Great, great. You're going to smell like, in the commercial, he buries jewelry in the desert for no reason. That I'm for.

That's what you smell like. I'm for that, though. I'm for that. He is Jack Sparrow. I'm all for hidden treasures. So wait, so how are we doing with the scents? Did you try them both out? i like them both but i had to do was i had to spritz and then i had to wrist yes middle arm behind the neck behind the knee behind the knee and then i

had to sit in it for like 45 minutes just like chilling. And then I smelled it. Amazing. Yes. I didn't know. And that's just one spritz for all those locations, right? You're not going double. Yeah, that's one spritz for all. I can't wait until he graduates to spray the room and then walk into it.

Oh, walk through it. I didn't know that was graduating. I thought that was summer school. It feels advanced to me. It is the easiest to do. It's all about spraying it in the right spot. Otherwise, you're going to have like a very scented shoulder. It turns out that's not how you're supposed to do it.

You're supposed to spray. You're supposed to go wrist. Yeah, I know. And this is according to Gentleman's Quarterly. But supposed to? You're supposed to do it where your heart beats, right? Like wherever you can feel a pulse. Isn't that so?

That's what they said online. Really? Because then do you ever seen anybody just spreading it on their chest? That's stupid. Well, yeah, but I use Vicks Vapor Rub as cologne. So yes. That's what they said online. Really? Because then, do you ever seen anybody just spreading it on their chest? That's stupid. Well, yeah, but I use Vicks Vaporub as cologne, so yes. That's right.

I knew that about you. Yeah, I'm methylated. Everybody knows that. My man smells healthy. Yeah, yeah. Smells like a cool cigarette. Yeah, yeah. I definitely smell like Newport's.

It's that kind of podcast, and I love it. Ultimately, it is that kind of podcast. It is that kind of podcast. The podcast. I was in Palm springs over the weekend oh baby oh baby you could see it on your face playing a tonk i am tanned what is patonk

patonk it's like it's basically bocce ball but it's french why does everybody have to say like this is our version of this why didn't we all just name it the same thing i don't know ball they also call it but yeah but what's up like bull bull like bull bull i think like woolly bully okay it's not at the has to be so funny. I know. These are sharper in the morning, I will say. Oh, sharper. But it's not at the end of the day. I just ate a lot.

I just ate a big salad. So I'll get up to speed in about 15 minutes. Yeah, we were playing like petanque and table tennis. And I ate a cake that my girlfriend baked for me. Ooh, it was good. Ooh, it was good. Because it was your birthday. It was my birthday.

Lemon meringue. Or lemon curd raspberry fucking delicious there was a curd and a dude the curd good man i saw it on instagram where the kids hang out and i was standing it man i keep forgetting to look at instagram that's why i forgot your birthday that's a good excuse yeah i posted a lot of reminders on both twitter and on instagram yeah i'm glad you did because I wasn't there to do it. That's my job on your birthday is to hype that it's your birthday. Exactly.

I failed you. No one wasn't doing it. No one was doing it. That's not true. There were a lot of well-wishers and I thank you all. Sean Jordan is here. Sean is Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougarmel Jordan on Instagram. That's about it. A lot of those out there.

I thought David was gonna sneeze and we were gonna get it on mic I thought so too I don't know what happened uh I'm sorry guys Sean Jordan hair getting longer yeah he's getting into a ponytail of ponytailable area ponytail yeah the pony I put a ponytail in this morning and uh it creeped out Laura what color wristband what color hair bands are you rocking it's black i'm gonna get you some scrunchies i can't i mean it's also it looks like it's making your hats fit different you just look like a completely different guy i like it though there's no way to there's no way to put a hat on decently right now i look

like such a dip you look like you're in a different decade it It's wild. It's giving you HGH face, dude. It's just changing everything. I do. The hat is up on my head. It should be down like that, but it's up because my hair just poofs it. And if I put it backwards, it's no help. See that? It's on the side.

It looks insane. I don't like that one. No, it certainly is not. I don't like that. I don't like that. And you usually look good in a backwards hat. You look like the guy that the D.A.R.E. program brings in to sit backwards on a chair and be like i did drugs and here's why you shouldn't i've seen it all you ever kissed your stepdad i'm just whispering to kids all they're doing is showing

you how to roll a joint the right way pay attention that's all they're really doing i know this is how you make this is how you buy weed and get good weed smell the weed that they're passing i was thinking about that the other day if we're looking for random thought lines to follow is like isn't it weird but at the same time maybe the only thing that makes sense that we teach kids about their bodies in school yeah it's like a very awkward thing but at the same time we should all know much more about our bodies we should all be kind of doctors because we're like there there's something wrong you should know. I don't know.

I think that's wild. Anyway, I've been smoking a lot of weed in quarantine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quarren weed. Quarren weed. That doesn't work. The salad is fucking bringing me down. Now that you pointed it out.

What'd you put on it? Nothing. I just got raw dog salads now. It's just the lettuce and the protein. Me too. Salad dressing is like, it's- What? That's where all the calories are. it's where all the calories are.

It's where all the calories are. You know what you should do is you should put hot sauce on it. There's very low calorie. Why would someone eat a hot sauce? You guys, stop it. You're not being serious. What are you talking about? You don't even put vinegar and oil?

Nah. What's up? I feel like if I put oil and vinegar on a salad, Katie, sit down. That doesn't make it good enough to me to where it's worth even the negligible calories in an oil and vinegar or in a vinaigrette. It just doesn't do it for me. I'm just as happy.

I like the flavor of lettuce. I'll say it right here. But then, okay, we can table that, put that on the pony table, and we will talk about that in a second. Radishes. Doesn't it just seem like the ingredients are making the lettuce wet and then the lettuce is just kind of weirdly wet?

Yeah, I like wet lettuce. I don't mind it one bit. Isn't that what salad dressing does? That's my problem with it. But it's not wet. Salad dressing makes it coated, but just a randomly wet. It makes it wet. And like salad dressing makes it like coated. But wet like just a randomly wet. It makes it wet. Come on.

It makes it soggy. This just feels wrong. I just I can't picture eating it. What do you put in your salad? Maybe that will help me. It's like I'll do a lettuce, green onions, radishes, sometimes cucumbers, you know, pepperoncini on the on the odd occasion. But since I had the high BP kind of cut that out a little bit, you know, I'll justini on the odd occasion. But since I had the high BP, kind of cut that out a little bit.

You know, I'll just fuck around and eat a salad. Nothing on it. I'll just eat a big wet pile of kale sometimes too. I'm like- I've seen that go down. Sometimes you get into a food is fuel mindset, you know? Yeah, I've never been there, but that sounds awesome.

But I can't relate to that even a little. I get lettuce off of my tacos. I take it off my burgers. That's insane, Katie. Off my sandwich. I don't want lettuce on anything. I'm going to go nuts right now. That's fucking nuts.

See, I'm so glad you said that. Not because it wasn't hurtful, but I'm glad you said it because now I know you feel how I'm feeling about you guys talking about eating salad without any dressing. I understand. I get that. I just wanted you to know how I feel. That's wild to me.

I'll tell you what will introduce you to a dry salad with no dressing on it is a Armenian nurse practitioner shaving half your chest to put a heart monitor on. Then you're like, oh yeah, I don't miss rare dressing

whatsoever at all. That's it. Not to have it in Armenia. I picked dressing first and then theme my salad to my dressing. I was once exactly like you. That was my favorite thing to do. I was a green goddess.

Because you've probably been to a just salad and waited until the end and looked at the dressings and been like, I've made a terrible mistake. Oh, absolutely. You have to start there and then go backwards. It's the worst. You build a salad that you get to the end of the line is like begging for a raspberry vinaigrette and all you want is blue cheese. And you're like, I can't put blue cheese on this.

Who the fuck would I be if I did that? Or you find yourself putting ranch on like mozzarella. Yeah, ranch on mozzarella. Why did I do that? I didn't mean to do that. I'll choke it down, but like I'm not happy about it. Yeah, I'm going to eat it. And it's all its creamy goodness, but still.

Man, look at us having nothing in common with salads. I would eat a spoonful of ranch with it and it's all it's creamy goodness, but still, man, look at us having nothing in common with salad. I would eat a spoonful of ranch with mozzarella and that's it. I don't even need a salad. I think it sounds good. Now, see, Sean, I was kind of hoping this would be where we're on the same page and they're on the other page, but you went and didn't. You did it.

We're not even in the same book. Sean's a chaos agent, dude. Sean's Omar from The Wire. He's not on anyone's side unless you're reading a manifesto we're not on the same page I'm fucking crazy you never had a cheese salad Katie? he's on a scroll it's not even a page

I put shredded cheese on sandwiches before I go nuts I don't think that's that crazy you just took a soft right turn you just gently pulled into a driveway you put shredded cheese on sandwiches? If I don't have any other cheese. Look, I got nothing in my fridge.

Quarantine first hit. I was like, am I dead? And then they were like, no, don't worry. Restaurants are still going to do delivery. I was like, my God, I would be dead. Yeah. So yeah, shredded cheese. If I'm making a sandwich, I'll put it on there if I want to.

Anything I put on anything is shredded because I spend a lot of time in the gym dude so what i do is shredded that's right bread cheat the bread's shredded dude because i touched it dog spread it property i tried to do it yeah i got nothing coming up nothing to promote dude david borey is here as well cool guy joke 77 on instagram the g is silent on twitter if anyone was wondering uh how you doing man what do you got coming up you know i am uh because i wrote on the last season of the eric andre show i am moderating a conversation with him and some other writers for the adult swim festival oh that's fun i don't know what day it is uh not even sure if it's open to the public but it is something i'm doing and i wanted to let you guys know i don't know what day it is

as a general statement i was gonna say it's monday appearance right yeah no no that's just that's just i don't know anything right uh and then i'm doing some other you'll see it when you see it don't worry about me all right don. Keep your eye on the sparrow. Don't even worry about me. Mind your business. Yeah, man. I'll mind mine. Candy Noel on Twitter, Naty Colon on Instagram, if you can believe that.

All she did there was flip the two letters. Is that like when somebody has natty dreadlocks? Yep. No. Okay. It is. Okay. Now the implication is I have a natty butt hole. Well, you said it, not me. Nat. It is. Now the implication is I have a natty butthole.

Well, you said it, not me. Natty butthole. Boy. How did I miss that connection? I didn't get that at all. Natty butthole, dude. That's what we used to call natty ice back at Westview High School. I was going to try to make it, and then I was like, let Ian have this one.

Give me a 30 rack of natty butthole while you're talking. to make it and then i was like let leon let you have this one give me a 30 rack a natty butthole we were fucking pounding that that's different take the wakeboard out get some natty buttholes on the lake we spent all day in the sun then we got back to the cabin and pounded some natty butthole dude it was like a pretty solid day dude steve got sunburned blisters on his feet man so many natty buttholes on the beach dude he just passed out that happened to kershman not steve by the way i'm airing you out i know you listen golly he came home and he had blisters on his feet and he's like, yeah, I just drank in the sun

for like 11 hours. I'm like, dog. And the sun blistered his feet? On the bottom of his feet? No, like the tops. He couldn't walk for like. It was hilarious. You gotta put sunscreen on your feet, guys.

You gotta do it. That's a mistake. I didn't know that. I learned a lesson that day. That is a mistake. You have to. I learned that lesson once. Ears too. Ears will lesson that day. That is a mistake. You have to. I learned that lesson once. Ears, too.

Ears will fuck you up. Put it everywhere. Put it fucking everywhere. Yes, that is the ideal, yeah. These are just places people forget. I love you guys, but sometimes I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Natty buttholes. Natty buttholes?

Like it's a nickname for natural ice, like a Natty Ice or a Natty Delight. Natty Delight? But it tastes like butthole. Natty Delight? Nobody's ever called it natty ice or a natty delight natty delight but it tastes like butthole natty delight nobody's ever called it natty delight i like natty's natty d sure guys they all take bush natty they all taste the same they're just like it just tastes like beer but then there's that little snarl at the end where you're like oh it's okay yeah yeah it gets you you're like oh that's a little bit sharp it's when you go pet a dog and then you ask can i pet your dog while you're petting the dog and then they're

like i don't know man and then you're like and then it's like oh okay i guess i didn't ask okay all right that's exactly it oh oh shit i went to oh katie listen to the sports podcast no please more about Palm Springs. For fuck's sake. I'll get into it. Don't you worry one bit. Don't you worry one bit, but there's a time and place for it. And it's as soon as you're done fucking yapping about whatever you got going on.

It's just a podcast. It's just the only other podcast on Earth. It's not a big deal. It's the other podcast. It is. We're excited about it. It's the other one that exists. We're the two pontoons and the world of listeners is the boat, dude.

That's what's going on right now. We're doing a, when does this come out? Thursday. Thursday. Oh. Well, we just did a live podcast, and you missed it. I'm sorry. Well, yeah.

That's right. That's right. I would have liked to invite everyone to come, but it happened two days ago. It's too late. I was crazy when OJ hacked into it. Yeah. That's wild. And we were like, get out of here and put pants on.

Did I tell you guys what I saw on the street the other day? No. No, but you're gonna right now, please. It has to do with OJ? Yeah, man. I was just walking, minding my own shit. I was in the park. There's this guy with a bullwhip.

I was like, not the energy I'm fucking with. Whatever. And this guy drives past and stops at the light. White Bronco. Oh, acquitted on the license plate. Whoa. A C Q T T D or whatever. Is that well known?

Does he drive around in a white Bronco that says acquitted? No, I don't think it was him. I think he was like a super fan. I think it was a super fan. Not even weirder. How do you explain that to anybody? Like, oh, yeah. Hey, chicks, I got.

Yeah, the first few dates, it's got to be a meet at the restaurant situation. There's no way he's picking. He's picking her up. Like, that's a. I'll meet you there. Is he pro J? I don't know what the stance is. You don't buy an entire car to make a statement against somebody you are pro i did i bought one to make a statement against the bloods that's why

i got a blue elantra you got a nissan leaf and we all know it i got a 2017 hyundai elantra crip blue and you can see me driving that fucking slap around anywhere. Slap. What were those cars with the hamsters? It's mad clean, though. That's the Kia Soul. You're talking about the Kia Soul. The Kia Soul. No, the ones that looked like squares that were named like XB or something. Oh, the Scion.

The Scion XBs. Was that it? Yeah. They were big when I was in college. I remember being like, these are so ugly. They were marketed towards college kids. It was supposed to be like a get your first car. Yeah, it was a terrible car. Also a drug dealer car. I'm just here to get my feelings hurt because I drive one.

I know that you don't. I know that you don't. I would smell it on you. I wouldn't have been allowed in Brooklyn if I drove one. That's right. And you've seen me in Brooklyn. So anything else you got going on? Listen to sports, of course.

It's a wonderful podcast that we all love. What else? Well, if you got nothing to do today, you could tune into ESPN and just wait, and then maybe at some point I'll be there. It's like bird watching. Just turn it on and then you wait. Yeah, it's beautiful once you catch a glimpse of it, but but you got to really be committed to finding it so just do that check your local

listings sure it's called fishing not called catching you know it's about that's right it's about the time spent uh my name is ian carmel at ian carmel on twitter at ian carmel on instagram at ian carmel on jewish road an electric bike at cordon's place and it is so fucking fun that's the last thing i wanted to bring up wait was that the last at jewish road an electric bike at cordon's place i liked it he has an electric bicycle you can pedal and it works like that or it has a little fucking like throttle on it and you can throttle it and you can go like 20 miles an hour. And we rode. We throw we fucking throttled and rode these bikes around this neighborhood and then like

went on to a golf course and like drove these bikes. Yeah. Your life is different. I haven't left my house in seven months. Oh, my God. I felt like I felt like a child last night. The wind was in my hair. I'm ordering surprise colognes.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sick of every restaurant I've ever eaten hair. I'm ordering surprise colognes. Yeah, yeah. I'm sick of every restaurant I've ever eaten at. Get out here to the West Coast. I don't know when I showered last, but tell me more about your trip and it sounds like it was such a nice time. It was lovely. I swam every day. Were there fruity drinks? There were fruity drinks left and right. I had an Aperol Spritz last night before my adventuresome bike ride. It was beautiful. Fancy girl.

We were on the bike ride when the Lakers won. So to me, it didn't happen. Sure. It never happened. I don't know who won. I'm not going to believe the fucking lying ass media. I'll tell you that. That's right.

Fake news. Fake news, dude. Fake news may say Lakers, but nobody knows. Question everything. I do. That's why you have a question mark at the end of sports, right? It's to remind people to question everything i do that's why that's why you have a question mark at the end of sports right it's to remind people to question everything that's right because i don't think we should take any of these ball playing mechanisms as fact i won't do

it i refuse to do it uh the wheels are spinning and not just on the electric bike i was on you know we get it ian i'm sorry listen to all fantasy everything watch the late late show with james corden on the columbia broadcasting system where i am a second rate andy richter as someone told me on twitter today and listen i'll fight that person tell me send me the at right now i'll fight that person i'll send you the at listen i'm happy to be a second rate andy richter andy richter wonderful second rate pretty high up as far as rates go it goes first second and there's a grip more rates after that you know it's true as someone who is a fifth rate andy richter yes that's a good place to be i was shooting for a second for my whole career i'm so happy to be

there bonnie rate first rate second imagine though if you were a bonnie rate andy richter that would be a pretty cool thing to say. That would have been a funny tweet. An actual funny tweet. More like a Bonnie Raitt and then it's just a Photoshop of me with like a little gray hair right here. Just a shock of gray hair.

Hello to that man. Hello to that man. Hater. I hate her. That's about it, yo. That's all I really have to promote. That world peace, you know. I do it every day.

WP. Joe Rules. Try to get it out there every day jaw rules i don't want to say wp i i want that to clarify that i'm at world peace these days you never know yeah you do never know yeah yeah you never know that would be a turn post quarantine late quarantine i just got radicalized i started watching some youtube videos i started clicking on some stuff. What else does WP stand for? White power. Water pollution, Ian. Duh.

Oh, water. I have hard water. I have hard water. Flint ever heard of it? God. Get him. Shit. Shit.

You close-minded. Is this where it comes out that I'm anti-Flint having clean water? We're learning a lot about ourselves today. If it's into white power, I'm anti clean water in Flint. That was the first text Ian ever sent to me was that he was anti clean water in Flint. Yeah. I was back in like,

Oh seven. I have all of your numbers now. That's something that brought me joy this week. Are we doing the part of the podcast where we share something that brought us joy this week? Yes, we have something that we're joy this week. Are we doing the part of the podcast where we share something that brought us joy this week? Yes, we have something dank that we're stoked about. I was telling Laura something dank that I'm stoked on is I realize I have four pairs of pants right now. Four pairs of wearable pants.

That's king shit. That's good, dude. That's really good. That's a move right there. That's like, because normally I have one and I rock them like a hell's angel until they're like disintegrated and then I have to go get another pair.

But now I have four pairs of pants. I do. I got like, I have four pairs of pants too now. I just bought them from Uniqlo on sale. It was dope. Yeah, man. David, how many pairs of pants do you have?

Oh, I haven't worn pants since the Troubles. You haven't worn pants since March, Katie. That's not a pants guy. I don't know. I think maybe three. I don't even know up there. David's putting cologne on and calling it pants. This is fascinating.

Just watching you guys congratulate each other for owning four pairs of pants is fascinating. We're really good friends. Four is good. I have 68,000 t-shirts and four pairs of pants. I have pairs of pants from years ago that I feel guilty throwing. I have so many pairs of pants. What are you talking about? Like eight?

No. I mean, well, you got to take into account that I, I like when I was constantly on a television show, there was like a lot of wardrobe. So I had to, I will not take that into account. Okay,

fine. Well then I'm going to seem a little extravagant with my pants having to you, but I would say I probably have like 30 pairs of pants. Oh my God. how do you even make a decision i i'm honestly today i've reached the point of quarantine where i just looked at the stuff i keep saying i'm gonna clean up and i'm like how does one have so much stuff i think i just have to marie kondo i know that's basic at this point no i think i just have to start donating stuff and getting it out i have too much much stuff. Yeah, 30 pairs is like,

that's 26 too many pairs of pants. I mean, four, guys, four is low. I mean, are we including like dress pants? I'm sorry, Katie, how many days of the week are there?

Seven. How many stars in the sky? There's more. A lot more. I don't think you're saying what you think you're saying. I don't think so either, but I started yelling,

gonna keep yelling. The truth is, I have six pairs of pants, but I didn't want to come in after Sean just said he had four. Thank you. I fucking knew it. You guys are always lying about your pants. No, I really have 30 pants. I'm going to start calling you. Oh, I'm going to wear these pants all night long.

No, you're not. No, I've never said that. Yeah, I've never said that either. Don't put words in my mouth. All I want to say is who's ever seen me in four pairs of pants in the in my mouth who's man all i want to say is who's ever seen me in four pairs of pants in the same room together that's what oh my god that's true follow the breadcrumbs are you just four pairs of pants with a david on yeah to say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah my heart is denim you're gonna like all for all all four of you are gonna love this

get a load of this katie i'm to start calling you Panson because 30? Mmm, lots. You know, that's a lot of pants. That took so long to get there. No, I didn't get it. I was going to say we should. We took a side street. Say it again.

More like Panson, Panson, 30 pairs of pants. Katie, I'm going to start calling you Panson because mmm, lots. Oh, okay. That's a lot of pants. You just had to sing it. Yeah. Because I was was gonna say you should call it ted panson oh ted panson's great yeah yeah yeah yeah okay uh yeah sean you want to try one out or are you all right gene claude van damme there it is come on kid there it is

tighten her up khaki menage anything there uh no i don't actually own a pair of khakis i don't want to lie to people i had a khaki menage at the gap one time yeah that's funny now we are gathered here today not to khaki menage uh gap but also to fantasy draft voices now these are not singing voices. These are speaking voices. So we have fantasy drafting speaking voices and the way we determined the order of that draft is through a rollicking game if you can believe it, of rock, paper, scissors

played between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Oh boy. Go again. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Sean wins! Fuck you losers. rock paper scissors shoot it's just because david and i are secure enough in our masculinity to throw paper first that's true or second david threw rock first i never win a lot of stuff never win the rock first files

sean you are the winner of rock paper scissors such, it is incumbent upon you to determine the order of today's draft. But before you do, I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? That's a great question, David. You know, I could explain it, but I could also let Jesus take the wheel. Katie had a decent one earlier, and the listeners just aren't... Like, David doesn't get me explaining it. I don't, yeah.

Katie, do you want to... Don't put me on the spot like this then who then i can't make fun of you for doing it wrong oh you'll find a way don't worry okay you're right um is it the thing we were talking about before yeah well not david's boner in his room works okay we weren't talking about my boner don't do that it's like in uh it's like in uh national lampoon's christmas vacation when chevy chase is putting all the christmas lights on the roof so he goes up and he starts on the left side of the house and he he puts lights all across the side and then he goes all the way to the right and then goes down

a little bit so he spends some time on the right just a little bit smart i like this and then he goes all the way back over to the left and then spends a little time, just goes down like maybe two inches and then all the way back to the right. And then it goes down like an inch and a half or something. He doesn't have like a ruler or anything. He just kind of, you know, uses this part of his knuckle, which is like supposed to be an inch. So he goes down like one and a half of the top of his knuckle and then top of his knuckle. The top of his knuckle. That's top of his top.

And then he goes all the way to the left and then down a little bit and then uh just kind of does that until something zany happens and makes it one of my favorite movies of all time does that make sense david basically what it means is if you if if you pick if you pick fourth in the first round you pick first in the second round essentially what it means i get it all right so yeah quiet denim m oh okay that's another another pants pun i just thought of denim m like m&m yeah but denim

i can't say that i'm gonna mess that up denim m denim m that's like that's's like synonym and cinnamon. I have difficulty with those two. Cinnamon cinnamon sticks. Cinnamon cinnamon. Cinnamon cinnamon. I like to put cinnamon into my head. Keith's sweatpants.

Ooh, that I like. Okay, I like that one. And on the strength of Keith's sweatpants. What about Earl's sweatpants? Is that too much already? It's there already. It was complicated. What about Michael Sweatpants? Is that too much already? It's there already. It was complicated. What about Michael Jortsten?

Mm-mm. All right. Got Ian. Michael Corden. Michael Corderoy. James Corderoy. James Corderoy. James Corderoy?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sure. I'll text him. Corderoy Rogers? Corderoy Patterson? You can do better than that. Corduroy Rogers? Corduroy Patterson? You can do better than that. Corduroy Orbison.

Corduroy Orbison. Oh. Corduroy Jones Jr. There you go. I got it. Taraji P. Overalls. Huh?

Nope. No, I don't. I don't. you see how it works yeah i like it that we could just do anybody al gabardine wait michael b jordson michael b jen, for sure. Okay, cool. I thought that might be the case, but I wasn't sure.

Now, Sean, now that you understand how a serpentine draft works, what will the order of today's serpentine draft be, Jortsen? Katie, myself, David Ian. Okay. Hot water! I'll take that. I'll take that. I thought you'd be stoked. No, that was super nice of you.

I just, this is a thing that happens to me every episode. And I always think it's because of the topic. But it isn't. I think it may be universal. That there's like a clear one, two, three that like need to get picked. Uh-huh. But that I always assume, I always prep like I'm going to have the end of the draft. So I always assume they'll be gone.

Okay. And so now I've got like a lot of ones that are like the ones I like, but you can't do a draft of voices and not pick the main guys. We caught some big city heat for not taking the big guys last time. Yeah, dude. Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck. Yeah. I feel like if you got the first round pick, you got to pick one of the big dogs.

There's one that if we get out of here without doing it. That being said, I'm picking from my heart all the way through. Yeah, me too. I don't, you know. Picking from your heart. I just, it's scary to be the one who has to set the tone. Don't let the internet push you around. Oh, no, I'm not listening to the internet.

I'm just like wondering if I should listen to my heart Or if I should listen to my brain Honestly, as someone who does neither Okay Why don't you listen to this dick? Whoa, whoa No boners, Katie, we said that Sorry, sorry

My brain is my heart because I'm a warrior poet Now we don't need to get into that right now, but I am a warrior poet, and I'd like you to just keep that in mind as you listen to this podcast, everyone at home. Cargo Roby. Oh, that's really good. That's really good.

All right, anyway. That's great. I suppose you're going to say that. Anyway, sorry, go ahead. No, it's all right. Sean, you are Katie. You were the first pick on the board in the Speaking Voices All-Family Family Draft.

We will get to that pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy to younger age. Of course you do.

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And we're back. Welcome back to all fantasy. Everything. The only podcast that has ever existed other than of course, sports with Katie Nolan. Those are the only two. If you've heard something and it sounded like a podcast, but it wasn't either all fantasy,

everything or sports with katie nolan it was probably a fucking huey lewis and the news album and sometimes that's called sports too but there's other names there's other names too all right katie katie nolan it is time for your first pick in the speaking voices draft uh we'd love to hear it and so would america all right well with the first pick i'm'm going to take David Attenborough. Yes, you are. That's pretty good. Yes, you are.

Hell yeah. Because I knew it would elicit that reaction from Ian. Oh, fuck. That was going to for sure be my first pick. But I left somebody else on the board. So maybe you'll get a, you know, I just went crazy and picked a quarterback. Look, David Attenborough, that voice.

We've all watched Planet Earth. And I miss it because I can't watch Planet Earth now because my dog, if she hears animal sounds, just barks at the TV and doesn't stop barking. I'm like, David is speaking. But she doesn't know any better. Behold, maybe David Attenborough could narrate other documentaries.

Do Ballers. Do David Attenborough on Ballers. A famous documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it not? Hold on a second. I just purchased the Kansas City Chiefs.

Behold, as a character played by Dwayne the Rock Johnson, cloud... Sorry. Behold, as a character played by Dwayne the Rock Johnson, clad in a circus tent amount of chambray fabric, crawls into a monster truck in an effort to win over the populace of Las Vegas, Nevada. He jumps the truck over a ramp, rolls it, and emerges unscathed.

over a ramp, rolls it, and emerges unscathed. The crowd has not been in a furor like this since either Siegfried or Roy were bit by that tiger. I loved it. Really good. I fucking loved it. Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yeah. Ooh.

A glass of Riesling is poured, free of the knowledge that it will soon be all over a DKNY blouse. Its lifespan will not exceed. DKNY? Yeah, dude. It works. Is that not cool anymore? Donna Karan, New York.

Are the housewives not rocking that anymore? I don't know. I think they're much more expensive than that now, but I've respected your knowledge of women's fashion. Dolce and Gabbana. Ooh. The best thing that David Attenborough says is he, because he's a nature guy and it's always a nature doc,

but he says sloth, not sloth. Oh, yeah. Which is just a joy to hear him pronounce words differently than we say them. He also spells favorite with a U. Favorite. That doesn't normally come through, yeah. Which is just a joy to hear him pronounce words differently than we say them. He also spells favorite with a U. Favorite. That doesn't normally come through, though. We're kind of talking like audio medium. Maybe for your ears.

That's true. Peasant ears. Dumb Americans. Dumb Americans. We're just some dumb Americans. David Attenborough is great. I forgot how great you can sing. You are an amazing singer

Stop it You are I remember that It's weird From the Disney draft Oh my god you are You're such a great singer Thanks

Let's hear it You gotta give me some Let's hear it Let's hear it Alright Katie sing You do the alright part And I'll do the dumb No

Why are you guys doing Why are you guys dumb americans that was beautiful yeah katie you would think i was right here in the room like an angel touched my god oh my god that was crazy wow you what do you want to do a mariah carey vocal run now oh my god okay God. Okay, I'll count you in. Katie, do Careless Whisper real quick. The careless whisper. Katie, that's amazing. Oh, Katie, that was beautiful.

That was so good. Wow. I didn't even know they said good. Katie, do Armor Hot Dogs. Okay. Three, two, one. Hot dogs. Armor Hot Dogs.

What kind of kids like I'm a hot dog? Fit kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. Poor kids, short kids, even kids with chicken pox likes hot dogs. I'm a hot dog. The dogs kids love

to munch. Oh my God, your voice is so beautiful! And also that raspy register. I've been smoking a lot of cigarettes. I love it. It's good on you. It looks good on you. Method singer. I don't like to use the word Chanteuse.

I don't like to use the word Chanteuse, but I will right now. You're a Chanteuse. That got me. What is Armor Hot Dogs? You know, from the Demolition Man. Do the whole song again. Can you play one wrong? That one's skinny.

I still have the chicken pox. I thought that was a hit. Was that not a hit? It was really good. That was a West Coast hit. Really good. Okay, that was a West Coast hit. David Attenborough, that is an amazing pick.

One of the best voices that there is in the world. Sean Jordan Time for your first pick You know Just to do it Morgan Freeman Yeah Okay

Hell yeah Just gotta be done To get it out Yeah Alright some powerhouses Are going right off the bat On this one Do you mean

Morgan Freeman From the 21 Savage album Yeah Yeah yeah I mean That Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman You guys didn't listen

To the Ooh Ian Morgan Freeman I didn Freeman. You guys didn't listen to the- Ooh, Ian. Morgan Freeman. I didn't know you booked him for the podcast. Hello, Morgan. Thanks. No. Thank you for having me on the podcast.

I can't really do a Morgan Freeman. It's not there at all. I mean, it was a limited fake. You had me for like three words. Morgan Freeman. I could just say, all of my impressions are just that celebrity saying their own name. Yeah. Morgan Freeman. I could just say, all of my impressions are just that celebrity saying their own name.

Yeah. Morgan Freeman. Oh, there's somebody who may get picked that is the best example of that. Oh, I can't wait. What's the Shawshank Rebels? I'd like to say

the sisters left him alone that day. I'd like to tell you the sisters left him alone. I don't think this is maybe going as good as this. No, I didn't sound like Morgan Freeman at all. Am I allowed to do this? It feels weird. I don't think so is maybe going as good as this. No, I didn't sound like Morgan Freeman at all. Am I allowed to do this?

It feels weird. I don't think so. It does feel weird, right? It didn't at first and it certainly does now. If it's this bad, it feels weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. So, Sean, you do it though. Sean, you should try though. Sean, try it. Do it with your chest. Sean, it takes three strikes to get out, so go ahead and give it

three big tries. I'd like to say this. All I'm doing is talking like I'm trying to whisper, but still like sound tough. Careful whisper. His voice has a way of sounding like his vocal cords are always vibrating. Yeah. Which I think they are.

Everyone's are. I think that's how talking happens. But his just sound like they're bound. Like it's just like so lovely. It's fantastic. I think that's how talking happens. But his just sound like they're bound. It's just like so lovely. It's fantastic. Okay. Oh, that's the other lady from that movie. Never mind. I could do without the earring most of the time, but that's not his voice. What?

He's very specific. He sneaks that earring in there for interviews and stuff, and I'm like, hey, Morgan. What's your issue with it? I just, I don't know. I'm just not thrilled about it is it a stud or a hoop i think it's a little bit of both it's one of those tiny little hoops and i'm just like i don't i'm just like i don't need it i don't need it i'll be honest i could do without the earring yeah i wish somebody said that to michael jordan oh yeah i'll be honest i could do without

the hitler mustache you know i'll be honest i could do with i didn't need that it's slowly getting bigger it's gonna be 2045 it's gonna be like a latina teen hoop is he gonna get like a gauge yo michael jordan is the kind of old guy who would get a gauge though and you just be like with like those long icicle ones and you're like oh what the fuck is going on here bro yeah yeah nobody can tell him anything man in fact if you tell him not to do it that's when he'll do it the hardest yeah that's true anyway uh morgan freeman there we go okay let me get the can i give the impression one more try yeah um no how many strikes have you had it doesn't't matter. I think just two. It's a new at-bat. Yes?

Young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. Yeah, Ian, it's not working. It doesn't sound like him at all. You sound like shit. Yeah, that's kind of a bad... Am I sorry for what I did? Well, are you? There's not a day goes by i don't feel regret was i good at all sorry did you drink some lemon juice what happened no i think people

will hear the effort okay i'm giving a shot i'm giving a shot every day you got to put yourself out there and uh i did so okay uh morgan freeman great pick morgan freeman uh what was the last I did. So, okay. Morgan Freeman. Great pick. Morgan Freeman. What was the last movie he did? He was on the 21 Savage album last week. It was amazing. The 21 Savage got... Nobody else saw it. That was great. I haven't listened to the 21.

I was riding electric bikes with a British guy. I don't have time to listen to that 21. That's fair. He narrates the whole 21 Savage album. It's incredible. Yeah album it's incredible really yeah it's wild all right well still not the last movie he did but thanks for all that it's a movie sean 21 savages life is a movie bro it's a movie is a movie sean is he the one that did the go go the fuck to sleep i'm gonna leave going to leave, guys. I don't know what's going on.

Morgan Freeman, did he read Go the Fuck to Sleep? The book? Yeah, I think so. Narrated it? I think so. Probably. That was his last project, I believe. Go the Fuck to Sleep.

When was that? Because this 21 Savage album was last week. Well, it came out today, David. Did it come out today, really? Was Morgan Freeman on the 21 Savage album? No, I see how it is. Why don't you guys just talk about Boners, then? All right?

You brought it up. I thought you would never ask. Close to the kittens, the lambs have laid down with the sheep. You are cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please go the fuck to sleep. That was tight. The windows are dark. I've never heard that.

Katie, that was amazing. Katie's got a good Morgan Freeman on her too. Katie should do it. Katie should do it. It hurts to do for a long time. It's deep. It's down there. You gotta get the shovel and the gravel on that one. That's for sure. David, it is time for your first pick. Morgan Freeman,

David Attenborough off the board, David Borey on the board. Let's get to your first pick. Just Freeman, David Attenborough off the board, David Borey on the board. Let's get to your first pick. Just know that my heart is more in the second pick, but it's a disservice to not take him first round. I'm taking James Earl Jones. See, I'm really glad that this was taken care of. This is exactly what I meant when I was like, it's disrespectful to both of them if they don't go.

Yeah. Good night, Graham. Yeah. They will come, Ray. Baseball. Moonlight Graham. Yeah. Baseball. Baseball Ray. Simba. I can't participate in this podcast like I usually do.

Pickleball Ray. There was always pickleball. There was always pickleball. That's not bad. No, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. I've practiced. That's pretty good. It's my boudoir voice. Can we get another?

Give me another. I have a Moroccan wood candle. It's like you're eating the words as they're coming out of your mouth. That's how he does it. He always sounds like he's eating the food. I have a Moroccan wood candle. You're like breathing. It's like a lot of work for like breathing. Like it's like there's,

it's like a lot of work for him to talk. It feels like. Field of Dreams, probably his better performance, but coming to America, probably his, the better movie. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, better performance. What are we, what's the metric? You know what I mean? I don't know. That's a great question.

Him saying, I'm going to beat you with this crowbar to Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams, puts it over the top for me. Okay. But remember that he was wearing a lion head shawl in Coming to America. That's true. And stepping on roses with his beautiful wife. Yeah, that's true.

Which is also good. Okay, that's a neck for me. Yeah, it's pretty close. There's this thing called the Vader Sessions where they dub over different lines from James Earl Jones movies all over Darth Vader. Early internet. It's very tight. It's like X-Jax did it or something. It was like the first viral video I think I ever saw.

Because he played like a pimp in some movie from the 70s and then they just put his pimp dialogue over Darth Vader. Darth Vader's like, it was a long, wet, slow kiss. It's fucking tight. And the part where he's choking him, he's like, your mama's going on a date she's going on a date she's going with me can you dig that is darth vader choking some dude

oh boy yeah i was tight yeah james will jones though that's my pick he's got this is cnn up his sleeve too this which is a good and it was that's he was right yeah no that guy's got it still is it still is cnn it's like he's got a voice where i'm like yo if you just put that in me right now i don't think i could handle it fuck no dude damn like i don't think like i don't think it's for me i don't think it's for me if i if you made me as fast as you say in Bolt, I'd figure it out. But if you gave me James Earl Jones' voice, no. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Where am I? I'm going to go to the places I fucking go with that voice? No, no, no. I'm some squishers. Nobody gives a shit. I'm on the fucking bus talking like a king. It would be. You just bring it back.

I said no onions, didn't I? Oh, what's a voice like you do? What's it do over here? Popeye's spicy That's like when fucking lottery winners go broke That's exactly what would happen to me You can't give me that many resources that quickly

Yeah, I'd make a soundboard Too much dip I've never thought of James Earl Jones being like in a normal, that voice in a normal like, can I get quarters without buying anything? No, that's the funniest thing is he's just like at one point been like,

have you seen my Reeboks? Like he does regular shit too He does do regular shit All these fools do I've never thought about it Does this yogurt smell funny I think the housekeeper is stealing Oh man Yeah James Earl Jones Oh yeah yeah james earl jones great pick oh yeah oh shit it's time for my first pick um damn damn damn three fucking heavy hitters off the board so for my first pick i'm gonna go i'm

gonna go a slight left turn i'm gonna take maya angelou oh yeah yeah yeah beautiful fucking voice that i'm not going to attempt to do an impression of right now i'm not either i think i think we might hit the wall she's she's got such a fucking great voice like just like a lot of you like you feel it she sounds like someone who writes the way she writes, which is like, you know, which is like beautifully and eloquently and like dripping with. Like, dare I say deliciously. It's like a word I want to say when I hear her talk, but I'm like, that doesn't make any sense. It does somehow. Have you guys ever seen, I believe it was on the Big Gay Sketch Show.

They had a sketch of Maya Angelou reading stuff from Craigslist. No. Solomon Giorgio showed it to me. That's so great. And it's like one of the funniest things I've ever seen. That's so funny. I tried to play a clip of it and it has an ad before it, so I just ruined your podcast.

He's like, listen, when I tried this other medication, it didn't work. Yeah, don't use that shit. His voice sucks. That guy's voice fucking sucks. We were with Maya Angelou though. Not taking it. I'm sure she sounded lovely, but we had to let that man speak first. And I refuse. Tale as old as time. I keep wanting to try to do a Maya Angelou voice, but I

can't. I can't try to do it. I just want to say one word. I want to be like, nectary. I can't even do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it a good word choice i think i thought it she would beautiful word she would say nectarine so good yeah let me see if i can find that david yeah saskatoon saskatoon no try incognito incognito no i can't you't. It's not going to happen. You know what happens to me is it goes all James Earl Jones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say Lithuania. I don't. Come on, man. Lithuanian basketball team. I can't do it now. It's weird. It's not Maya Angelou at all. Just listen to Maya Angelou's voice. Listen to her. I know enough to try to live what I know.

Now that's a lot. Well, that's a lot. That's Oprah. Yeah. Stop saying pics. Sorry. Maya Angelou's voice sounds like a creaky door opening to a room full of beautiful books with a fire going inside. With like that yellow

light bulb, like the yellowy light. Edison bulb. Yeah, absolutely just in there. You're like, ooh, this room feels cozy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's my, Angela, that's my first pick. And with my second pick, I'm taking Alan Rickman. Nice pick.

A great pick. Man, I really, I was so close to doing that first. Sean Allen Rickman, dude. Mr. Takagi. Yes, sir. So rad. Mr. Potter. It's a little quicker.

So it's like, ho, ho, ho. Now I have a machine gun. That's really good. Thank alan rickman alan rickman he's a good he's a good to say his voice is like high but low he has like the hair that's high and then like the bubble gets me i love it yeah like he's got something in his mouth i'll take a foot long spicy italian on italian herbs and cheese bread with mayonnaise mr potter i just it's so is the parking free on the weekends and die hard when he gets his like easy on the weekends and he gets his teeth all tight so yeah it's so sick i love i love that that was weird when he died i was i was not i didn't know

he was an old guy i didn't know alan rickman was an old guy i thought he died he died like a few years ago he just fucking he just kicked the bucket out of nowhere how i'm finding out? Yeah, that's horrible. Yeah, through one okay and one pretty bad impression. Voldemort killed him is what happened. You must not be mad. You didn't see that in the news? I don't know anything about Harry Potter. It's okay. You should watch the movies when it gets cold out. It's fun.

Yeah. You know what? I've been holding a grudge against it completely unfairly that it got included in ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas because I don't think it's a Christmas movie. And it bumped a lot of my favorites that you can only see around Christmas. They're Christmassy. You can have a Christmassy movie that doesn't make it a Christmas movie. It's a Christmassy movie. It's not too far.

You and I haven't seen it. How dare you sit there and judge me? I just feel because it's not about Christmas. She's just mad. I get it. She's feel because it's not about christmas she's just mad i get it she's mad because it bumped friday after next right yes that was that was bullshit die hard my favorite christmas film i agree that that's a christmas movie you don't know you don't know dade you don't know like i do oh wait that was next friday you don't know dade like i do oh that i was trying to do alan rick, but I kind of did Maya Angelou.

That's how, by the end of this podcast, it's just going to be a milkshake. That's how you get into Maya Angelou. You're not the first person to say that. It's like Bane is if you just do a good Jimmy Stewart from It's a Wonderful Life, but with your hand over your mouth. Somebody's in Ed's house.

Zuzu's petals. Look at that. Zuzu's petals house my mouth's bleeding burke my mouth's bleeding i was born in pottersfield you really i was born in washington you barely went there. Oh, man. Yeah, Alan Rickman, dude. The Rickman. A firsty-firsty, a firsty-firsty Naomi. Maya Angelou, Alan Rickman, I am typing. And David, it is time for your second pick. It is time for my second pick. This is my heart pick.

Rue McClanahan. Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it. Who is that? Who is that? Yeah, I don't know. From Golden Girls? This is my heart Pick Rue McClanahan Oh yeah I love it I love it Who is that? Yeah I don't know From Golden Girls? Yeah

Oh Big Daddy Is Who Who does she play? Blair Oh The southern one

Oh Okay Very sexual Thank you Yeah yeah yeah Of course Of course I was just watching that episode.

She's getting laid all the time. It's pretty rad. All the time. She's getting laid, dog. She's getting laid. I was just watching the episode where her dad comes and they hang out and like they're hanging out with her dad and then her dad has a younger woman than her and she calls her dad Big Daddy.

And I was just like's it was a different time can you don't be like i'm sorry come on daddy that doesn't that's that's a totally reasonable oof what yeah yeah yeah people call their dads different stuff what if i called my dad cool papa not big daddy that'd be awesome yeah that'd be tight i'll call that dude uh i called my dad irresponsible Awesome. Yeah, that'd be dang. I'll call that dude. I called my dad irresponsible. I call my dad the pit bull every now and then. Yeah, you do.

That's pretty cool. Okay, Mr. 305. No, it's a different kind of pit bull. It's the more traditional. It's the kind that you find more often in the 305, actually. I think they're illegal. Which is to say a mean Jew. And sorry, I said Blair. I I meant Blanche Her name was Blanche

Blanche Devereaux sorry And she like I was just watching it And she's got such a great It's like it makes you want to have a fun time Like somebody's talking to you with that voice It's gonna be good stuff You know what I mean That voice is like I'm making a couple drinks

I'm mixing some drinks You can hear the clink clink clink in the back almost when she talks. Exactly. She's got the swizzle stick in there. It's almost sort of drunk already, which I like. Yeah. She had a couple before you got there. Yeah, because it's just, we're partying.

I can't even do it. I can't even do it. But, yeah. I can't do it. I love Rue McClanahan's voice. I can't even do it. It's like you don't even care. Also, shout out to Blanche.

Shout out to Blanche. Shout out to David. And Blair. I'm sure there's a golden girl Blair somewhere. There's a woman named Blair who's in. Oh, shout out to Blair Saki. It's her birthday today. Happy birthday.

Oh, happy birthday to her. Oh, she gets a happy birthday, Katie. Interesting. Oh, I deserve it. Damn. But it's just so fast that it made me feel less like it was a joke. And that's my burden to carry. No, that one kind of felt like he just felt that way.

He just like, no. I am a beautiful jeweled scorpion. I'm fun to look at, but there is a stinger on the back. Let me think of a better. I always forget. I'm trying to think of maybe if there's a better metaphor for what I am. No, I think you nailed that. at, but there is, there is a stinger on the back. Let me think of a better. I always forget. I'm trying to think of maybe if there's a better metaphor for what I think. No, that was good.

I like that. Jeweled scorpion. Jeweled scorpion. Like it's sort of, you know, one of those ones with sort of an iridescent sort of. Yeah. One of the ones from the mummy.

Carapace. That's right. That's exactly what I was thinking. A scarab. I'm not on my game this episode. I don't know what it is. I don't know. You're doing great.

And I swam this morning. You're doing great. You're doing great. We sure about that? I'm positive. All right. right positive because i'll re-record my whole part yo remember oh without us that's that'd be so funny to do when we can't respond or anything you punch up your own audio track ian was really on sorry let me try that one again Let me run it back A lot of puns in Ian's thing now it's weird It's crazy yeah

He has an arc Ian had an arc last episode He had a whole episode arc Is Ian using writers I feel like he's got a There was a Den you mall Oh yeah yeah no I don't like Denny's at the mall I like it better

What about What about Lake Bellbottoms Oh, yeah, yeah, no. I don't like Denny's at the mall. I like it better freestanding. What about Lake Bellbottoms? What? Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Oh, okay. She said, yeah, can we get Denny's at the mall? I said, of course we can.

I have just enough money for both of us to get Denny's at the mall. How do you know what I wanted to do for my birthday? It's not really my birthday, but I tell them every time, and it works. They don't know because they got a different person in there every time. They don't give a shit. Denny's, and there's a lot of turnover.

Speaking of, there's a lot of turnovers, too. Sean, time for your second pick. Second pick, I'm going to go Jennifer Tilly. Ooh. Ooh, okay. I like a Jennifer Tilly, yeah. You like a voice that's kind of up here well but also raspy kind of i don't know how she does it it's a cool ass voice what was uh what was jim carrey's name

in liar liar um what the fuck was his name stanley ipkiss nope nope that was a mask good wow that was a really good pull though jesus dude um i can't remember what his name was but um anyway yeah she was her voice is just great the way she said his name in that movie really joe's wife and um family guy that's who jennifer tilly is because she was the bride of fletcher fletcher reed yeah fletcher reed she's got like a raspy but also like a baby doll in the back yep holy that's almost like uh that's like uh what was uh chris uh jesus my i i i've lost the ability to remember names that sounds a lot like the woman from mother's pine you're wondering who you look like chris pine i look like chris pine everybody says i look like chris pine who's the woman in Mother with Alice and Janney, that actor, Anna?

She was married to Chris. Anna married to Chris. Paquin? No. No, she was married to the Chris from Jurassic World and... Oh, Anna Faris. Anna Faris. Anna Faris.

That's a little Anna Faris-y, too. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, she does have that weird, like, up at the top, like a cartoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not up here. it's like the most refined version of all those so like the most the the coolest way to be like high pitchy and squeaky but also raspy at the same time i don't know how it happens but she nails it and it's awesome i

love it i get it man yeah yeah jennifer tilly jennifer tilly she's a good uh jennifer tilly on her which i didn't know that i that. I think she could work on it. I think I have some notes. Katie has a good Anna Faris, though, for sure. That's a good Anna Faris. Again, I think it's close. I just don't think it's there yet. I think it's like a get you an SNL audition good.

Thanks. It's getting dark in my house. I know it is. You're starting to look like you broke in. Or that you're like, this is your confession that the house is haunted and we found the tape. These are my confessions. I was like, imagine if that's what Usher was talking about. He was just trying to tell us his house was haunted.

Just when I thought the ghosts were gone, they came back. And they keep slamming the doors. I am so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I think I heard a boo. These are my conditions. Yeah, that's a little known fact. That's what my boo was about.

Yeah. I think I heard a boo. It was about the ghosts that haunt Usher's house. And his past. Yeah, Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer Tilly, bruv. tilly bro jk time for your second and third picks okay so with my second pick uh i'm going to take doc emmerich nothing so he's a he's a uh play-by-play guy for hockey. Oh. So if you've seen any hockey, which it's okay if you haven't. I haven't.

It's a sport. It's his voice. You've heard it. We're all big fans of the Montreal Canadiens. No, we're not. No, we're not. We're not? No, they're the Bruins rivals. So we're Bruins fans.

We're big Bruins fans over here. The Broad Street Bulls. They're Boston. It's Boston. Enemy of the podcast. Mike Malloy's favorite team, I imagine. Probably. Doc Emmerich.

I can't do his voice, so let me just try to pull it up. But he's got- Can we each take a guess at what it sounds like, and then we'll see how close it matches up. Sure. Yeah, let's hear what you think. Sean, let's hear your Doc Emmerich. Doc Emmerich? Let's hear your stab at it.

I don't know how to do it do you need hockey words i'm trying to think of some he shoots he scores he shoots he scores wow i get why you wouldn't watch hockey if you thought that's what was happening he passed the puck he's been told to treat it like an egg and so he's treating it like an egg and then he shoots it oh it bounced off the glass and now there's two knuckleheads behind the glass fist fighting over a girl and some popcorn and in the melee he shoots he scores is this the mighty ducks that's probably that's probably that's gotta be it yeah that's gotta be it ian ian you want to take a take a stab at it i know that's a tough act doc emmerich doc emmerich make it different than mine oh that sounded sarcastic

katie stevie eisenman skates up the crease and passes the puck to this Russian fucking guy. And the Russian fucking guy shoots at the goal. And he fucking makes it. What the fuck are doing to the goal? You can play that on hockey public radio. They let five-year-olds listen to that. That's got to be close, right?

It's somewhere between what Sean and I did. David, you want to? David? Oh, that's a hot stick. So you watch hockey? Yeah. Because that was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's a hot stick. That's a hot stick. Sing him that sweet song, Troy. He don't, he pat the puck to the other guy. Oh, that's a pat-a-pat. That's a pat-a-puck like a pat-a-butter. Oh, my God, Jean-Luc Piesco to goal. Now we'll see who's the closest.

Oh, here's a chance for Pemberley. Yeah! Too quiet. Yeah. Hold on. There'll be a better one. These are just clips. What are you doing?

No, I guess they're all going to sound like that. You work in media. I know. I don't have the rights. She's the talent, Dave. Okay, this will be better. There's just a lot of gnat sound in hockey clips, so it's hard that you can't cut out the slapping and the clacking.

That's a sound effect. That's not him. Yes, it is. Score! Did he get abducted by aliens? Nothing. That does nothing for you guys. the Leafs is not one of great risk taken, but here's a feed in front and a tender score by McKinnon. Nothing. That does nothing for you guys.

I'm seeing nothing happen on your faces. Well, no, pretty much exactly what I did. I like mine better. Is it happening in traffic? What's that horn? There's a way. There's a line. Heavy traffic on the ice, bro.

He's taking too long to order. No. So, I don't know. If you're a hockey fan, Doc Emmerich's voice is just synonymous with hockey and excitement. And he's just this joy of a man. His name is Mike, but we call him Doc because we let him do surgeries. I like it. Sports surgeries.

I don't know. Any type that he wants. If you're a hockey fan, stop eating your dinner off the floor and listen to Doc a little bit. That's right. That got me. That got me good. All right, Doc Emmerich. I have to do another pick, right?

Excellent pick. Yes, you do. Man, I thought you guys would pop a little bit for Doc Emmerich. Okay, so I'm going to take, with my next pick... See, I want to take another British guy, but I don't think you can just... I'd be too stacked. I already have Attenborough, and I should just let that stand.

I really want to take him though. Take him. Nope. With my next pick, I'm going to take Kristen Schaal. Oh, there you go. Nice. That's a great pick. Fantastic.

The only one of these whose phone number I have probably. Oh, you don't have Doc in your phone? Doc Hamrick, Ian, it's Doc. How the hell are you? Oh, my God, he's doing a goal. Sorry I called you during your podcast here, pal. Who is Call Me Taken? Kristen Schaal, yeah, excellent voice.

Can anyone give it a shot? No way. I don't think I could even. I've never tried it. Kristen Schaal yeah excellent can anyone give it a shot no way I don't think I could even I've never tried it it's like in her cheeks she talks

in her cheeks yeah she's like in her cheeks I can't do it it sounds like a bad genre for Tilly that was insane was that the Joker

Ian just talks like you wanna know how I got these scars? you wanna know how I got these scars? oh my god I always thought I was okay at impressions and in this episode I'm finding out I'm terrible at all of them you see that's a joker poster I'm holding up for this audio medium

why so serious? wait I just love that Sean just like, hey, Katie, check it out. And then just put it right away. It's not hanging up. No, it's not on a wall. No, it's just on hand, ready to be shown. Hey, check out this poster. I'm going to put it away now.

And then he rolls it back up into whatever tube from whence it came. Any woman lucky enough to see the inside of my bedroom about 15 years ago saw one of these unframed on the wall. Sick. That is insane. Sick. Congrats to her. Yeah.

Congrats to Kelly Jordan. I don't know how to do it. Now I want to do a Kristen Schaal, but I don't do voices very well. That's kind of the running bit on sports. Sports? Sports? If I do an alright one, Carmel. Sports?

Our special and I am just thrilled to be sharing it with you in San Francisco. It's so unique. It is. This is my first stand-up special and i'm thrilled i sound too much like i'm doing a baby no you don't know you sound fine good voices i don't think you do bad voices i think you're actually good at it i don't know i don't know where you got that whoa but if

they could yo he got it kristen shaw a voice for babies everywhere we're a baby truther podcast we think babies can talk actually let them speak cowards and they choose not to how come they're not paying taxes kristen my favorite joke why aren't they paying taxes i don't know my favorite kristen shaw joke is uh i like him i like a man with a great sense of humor about his insanely huge dick so good that's rad especially now that we know she's the voice for all babies it's even funnier this podcast has been complicated about boners babies were most of the people who are most recently in dicks so like it kind of makes sense not most recently they are dick adjacent

we're tackling some shit on this one yeah we're getting problems tearing down some walls sean jordan he's on this podcast uh i am so far unidentified but sean jordan time for your third pick uh my third pick is gonna be snoop dogg there you go a good one i think snoop dogg has an amazing voice not not just when he's rapping obviously but just like in general listening to that man talk is sick i watch him go live sometimes it. It's so good. It just makes you feel cool. When you hear him, you're like, am I cool just because I can hear him? Does it make me cool? It does.

The answer is no, but it is a question we've all asked. Yeah. Dude, I used to have a Snoop Dogg bandana. Yeah, I'll buy that. It said Snoop Dogg all over it. Oh, the one with the I's or the O's? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I know exactly what you're talking about. That logo was on there like 50 times. I know what it is. One night at the skating rink, this dude came up and he's like, you think you're Snoop Dogg? And then he held my head right next to some dog shit and then started laughing. What? An older gangster.

Did he say, I don't think it's nice, but did he say Snoop Dogg shit? Side of something like, he said something that was, I was terrified that he was going to rub my face in the poop. And then he laughed. He's like, I'm just kidding. I was like, were you? Because that was terrifying, terrified that he was going to rub my face in the poop and then he laughed he's like i'm just kidding i was like were you because that was terrifying dude it was a huge guy gang life man i deserved it i'm sorry all right it was funny everyone everyone else was laughing and you were the only person who thought it wasn't funny and this is not the first time you brought it it up on the podcast. And all right, I'm finally going to speak

my side of the story. It's just a Raz, Sean. Roll with it. Daz and Corrupt were fucking cracking up. They did laugh. They did laugh. They did laugh a lot.

They did laugh a lot. Yeah, man, Snoop. He's got an icy voice and I love it. Yep. Great pick. Great pick. Snoop Dogg.

Thanks, bro. David, time for your third pick wanda sykes yeah yeah larry i don't even have one on me i don't i left i left it all at home i don't have any wanda sykes on me but that's a good voice man she's got a great fucking voice yeah her yelling at larry david so funny it's one of my favorite fucking things or just like in pootie tang hey pootie oh it's so great yeah i love her i i just want to hear her talk all the time when i was doing a jfl 42 in toronto they had me uh like hosting all the shows on the big stage and i love a pre-laugh that's how i know

wanda sykes had the best green room spread I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, I bet. What was it? It was like every food. It was like she had like chicken wings, chicken fingers, mini quesadillas, nachos. Like every fucking food you would ever want. I think there was a mac and cheese tray in there. I was going to say fried mac and cheese balls.

Yeah. There was like any food you fucking wanted and like pizzas and everything. Salad with no dressing? No, that was the only, I had my own though. That was my dry salad. Dry salad, damp salad. Seth Meyers like had like one radish on a plate like in his.

Nobody else had any, but she had like the dofus bread. And after she left, guess who had to slide in there and eat his fill like the fucking rat in charlotte's web it was oh man dmx wasn't it that would not be the first time you guys got down on some mini quesadillas though absolutely not no what about this what about capri's witherspoon all right okay yeah they're still good wanda does that she you know what voice she does really well is when you do the like remember when and like you go up a little that's so well yeah she gets she puts herself on the top shelf like what are you talking about like she'll come down the stairs oh yeah she does that voice where it's like you can feel

her squinting at you as she's talking. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Love it. Incredulity. She's so funny, man. Incredulity. Indeed.

Incredulous. Incredulity. Yeah, man. Who's that? I'll pick him for my next pick. Ian Carmel. Ian Carmel ordering a small soft serve at a Dairy Queen on Beaverton Hillsdale Highway. I'm in a weird mood. I'm very dehydrated,

and I just ate too early before this podcast. But I'm not gonna get up and get any water. This is what we're gonna do. I'm just gonna keep getting weirder. Just sweat through it. It's time for my third and my fourth picks. My third pick, Kathy Bates. Got it.

Ooh, a good one. I'm a big Kathy Bates fan. Got it. Yeah. I need to hear it. Kathy Bates has come up a few times on this show, and it's so fun. She's always great, man.

Being a part of a show where Kathy Bates comes up. Well, she's part of the all and the everything, you know? And one of my fantasies. The Alpha and the Omega. Yeah. Kathy Bates, a fried green tomato Kathy Bates I'll take. You know, I'll take her in anything, though. Is that your favorite Kathy Bates vehicle?

Probably fried green tomatoes. She's got a real good American Horror Story voice. She plays like a Creole. She's got like a Creole character. voice, which she plays like a Creole. She's got like a Creole character. It's very good. Oh, I haven't seen that. Yeah. I liked her in Primary Colors.

She's great in that. She's so good in that movie. The one with Clinton, right? The one that's like about Bill Clinton, quote unquote, but like is Bill Clinton. Yeah. I'm going to watch that. She put out a YouTube video called the best of Kathy Bates.

Yeah. Let her do the talking. They got somebody else in there? It's like Kathy Bates has played many roles in Thread. Okay. Let her tell, show me some of them. You wrote best of Kathy Bates.

She's got a good voice. All of us. You know, the most fun we had as kids was when we played dress up and pretended and we could be anything we wanted. They call it a play. They call it a screenplay. You say, I play a role. It's always play.

Okay, I don't know what she's talking about, but I do. I like the way that she says that. Ian did a deep Kathy Bates stuff. When you play, You play games. Game time. Game stop. Game stop. She doesn't even know that's on the internet.

That's just a voicemail she left Ian. Wait. Kathy Bates, though. I think it's a great pick. A great pick. I don't care what Sean says. She's got auntie voice. The swearing, Paul.

Nope. Yeah. I'm with Paul. Nope. Yeah. I'm with you. Yeah. I was trying to play a clip from her from misery, but I think it's too quiet. Yeah. She sounds like an aunt,

but when she does like a Southern accent, it's fine. It's fucking fantastic. I just love Kathy Bates. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Kathy Bates fucking rules.

You think if she had a Butler, the Butler would call her. All right. Master Bates? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not today, sir. You have an Emmy. Master Bates, what can I get you?

I think he might call her that. Oh, man. Timer Light next pick. I have to take him I love it I don't know if anyone would call it a good voice but I'm taking Paul Giamatti I love that little hedgehog give me give me some Giamatti please throughout the draft throughout the draft there's been a lot of different picks there's been a lot of different picks but when he took Kathy Bates and he tried to's been a lot of different picks. There's been a lot of different picks. But when Ian took Kathy Bates and he tried to pull up a clip of her talking in misery, everybody talked over the clip and then nobody got to hear Kathy Bates from misery.

I don't know if I lost. I may have lost it at the end. Give me some deep Chuck Rhodes. I thought that was what that was. Oh, no, that's high Chuck Rhodes. Deep Chuck Rhodes. Yeah. Deep Chuck Rhodes Yeah Deep Chuck Rhodes

That's it, it's got the little thing at the top He doesn't know what's coming for him He doesn't know, he crossed He sounds like the Joker You wanna know how I got these scars? Is every male voice just the Joker? Hate to break it to you, Katie I didn't mean to want to tell you

Gotta find out sometime. Every male is just kind of the Joker. Yeah, it's true. I'm gonna wail on you like Roy Jones Jr. at the Detroit, at the Auburn Fieldhouse in 1993. Yes, perfect. That's a line straight out of Billions. Reference something I know someone somewhere understands

and therefore I feel left out. Sean has a word for it that I think is perfect. Threataphores. That's what Billions is just filled with threataphores. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Such a fucking good show. Something about the flaming lips. Something about 1970.

Bon Jovi concert and you're like playing it in the garden. I'm gonna say he's not gonna know what hit him. It's gonna be like Lindsay Buckingham at the fuck of that that had 1942. It's like hit him. It's going to be like Lindsey Buckingham. What the fuck is that? That had 1942. It's like all that. It's a pop culture figure in a specific place in a specific year. It's a turducken. I saw Springsteen at the Garden, but it's not going to be Springsteen.

It's going to be Bon Jovi doing cocaine in the green room at the Garden. I like it. That was my Bobby Axel Rudd. I liked it. It's good. It's good. Yeah, man. Yeah, man.

Paul Giamatti. I love it james adomian has like the best paul giamatti impression i've ever heard but i just love any movie he's in i love when he gets loud and i love when he gets quiet he's an acdc i love him at both ends of the spectrum dude cb or not cb4 fucking uh straight out of confidence killer and straight out of the content definitely not cb4 eric don't do this eric they're lying they't do this. Eric, they're lying to you. Eric, they're lying to you. I helped you. It was me, Eric.

I don't know about all that. David, what's your fourth pick? My fourth pick. Was I ready? No, I wasn't. I was lost in the dulcet tones of your last pick, but that doesn't matter because I'm taking Eartha Kitt. Oh, great pick. Yeah, come on, taking Eartha Kitt. Oh, great pick. Yeah, come on, man. Great fucking

pick. Come on, man. Come on, man. And Boomerang? Marcus, darling. Oh, man. It makes me feel, it gives me the willies in a good way. Her voice sounds like a spider walking, but in a sexy way. Yeah, like up your back, but down your back, too, to your boner.

Yeah. What? What? Can you? What? I thought we were talking about boners now. I thought we were talking about boners now. You said. I have been doing such a good job. I've just been.

I've been keeping boners out of my mouth. And you're out here just every other minute dropping bones. That's not how many bones I dropped. And you know that. You keep dropping bones. You know that. You're just out here popping wood. You know I didn't drop that many bones.

I just want you guys to think I'm cool. I don't even care about the listeners. I just want to be fucking have fun with my friends and talk about boners sometimes. I know I made that arbitrary rule. I wanted to sound grown up because of the Moroccan wood. What's a boner? It's a skeleton.

It's a fun name for a skeleton. Don't you worry about it, Sean. It's something you play with little kids with. Yeah, throw it in the closet. Something little kids shows you when you're babysitting. Yeah, your nephew's friend showed you. Harsh. Took a turn.

Eartha Kitt. I think it's, yeah. Eartha Kitt's voice is fucking amazing It's classy and like I don't know there's really something about it There's something about a voice that can Somebody who can get away with saying darling a lot Darling

I can't do it I don't got it Hey darling You wanna pass the pizza hut It sounds like if America had like a posh class Eartha Kitt would sound like one of those people She almost sounds like if America had like a posh class, Eartha Kitt would sound like one of those people I feel like. She almost sounds like a Boston Brahmin. Yeah.

Almost. Yeah. Not to be confused with the Boston Bruins. Yes, your favorite hockey team. My favorite hockey team. You guys sure know how to make someone regret a pick. Yeah, no problem. We love them and we hate the Montreal Canadiens.

We hate them. How do we feel about the Quebec Nordiques? They are defunct and that's why we love them. No, that's the joke because they're the Colorado Avalanche. No, fuck me, right, guys? Look at you. Boner, boner, boner, boner, boner. I picked fucking Eartha Kitt, dog.

It's a good pick. Please stop yelling. I'm just excited to be here with you guys. This is fun. Bona, Bona, Bona, Bona, Bona. All you hear about these days are bonas. But what's really inside a bona? We take a look.

And then, you know, it goes from there. I'm not going to write the whole thing. I'm not going to write the whole thing. Eartha Kitt, Sean, time for your fourth pick. JFK. Ooh. Okay. I like it.

I like that weirdo. I like it. I think that's a good pick. Yep. I like JFK's voice, man. It's fun. Sounds distinguished. We are going to the moon in this decade. Yeah, he sounds kind of trashy there, too, which is fun.

Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Like a boner. I bet you he said that a couple times when they were writing. Oh, that dude said boner for sure. I feel like he feels like the source material for a lot of people who end up playing with

a Boston accent in a movie. I feel like people listened to him because it feels like everyone's doing an impersonation of his accent which is a weird accent which is not like a boston what is his accent exactly it's well i think it's a boston but like light it's like yeah he's not trying to do it's like rich boston right as opposed to boston it's the money that you hear jangling in his mouth that makes it sound a little different. It's like Nantucket as opposed to.

There's a girl on Raya who's a Kennedy and her name is Kick. Kick Kennedy. Kick Kennedy, huh? Why would you invite that sort of emotion into your life? They call her Kick. That's a sentence. Kick Kennedy. Kick Kennedy. It's better than shoot Kennedy, which They call her Kick. That's a sentence. Kick Kennedy.

It's better than Shoot Kennedy, which happened a couple times. That is. Kicked him with a bullet, I did. Yikes. It's, uh, yeah. It's better than Shoot Kennedy. It's a lot better than Assassinate Kennedy.

That's way better. Easier to say, fits on the back of a jersey. Now that name would be a surprise to see in the old family tree. It sure would be. You mean to call her ass for short? That's way better. Easier to say, fits on the back of a jersey. Now that name would be a surprise to see in the old family tree. You mean to call her ass for short? That's tough. Ass Kennedy. Whoa! Whoa, is the robot logging in? What is that noise?

I don't know what happened, dude. David's wiling out. The CIA from 1968 just hacked into the old family tree everything to get us from making fun of Kennedy. I don't even have anything to say about it. Well, now we welcome our fifth guest, Khrushchev. Nikita Khrushchev is here. Welcome, Sputnik.

You found the on switch. We had to talk about 50s CIA humor. 60s, not 50s, 60s. That's fine. This podcast I don't think is any of our best 1964 he was never oh sounds right to me yeah sean thinks kennedy was assassinated wow before they flew him to the moon is what i'm saying dude thank you i'm just saying jet fuel doesn't melt steel bro so that's all i gotta say jet fuel don't melt steel i don't know what's

happening most people most people don't bro open your mind's eye all right you gotta wake up all right final sniper round no i that's not correct well okay did we get to your fourth pick first oh okay so all right i gave myself a pep talk coming into this thing that i was gonna pick this person even though i know none of you are gonna know who it is but then that doc emmerich pick just bombed so bad that i don't want to pick another voice that you guys don't know yeah this is a this a girl a woman who does uh npr she does like this american life sometimes her name is zoe chase oh i don't know zoe chase off top she has the most interesting sounding voice the first time i heard it it just sounds really smart and she enunciates well but she has this like little twang of an accent and her voice is really deep whoa okay i'm gonna try to find it i don't know

if it'll come across well but uh pickled pigs for eight is that what she sounds like it's close let me see if this is queued up. I tried to do this beforehand, so it wouldn't be a... I would not mind a whole... Okay, you got it. It's probably helpful in telling this story to remember for a second what politics was like before today. How different and formal and quaint things used to sound.

Ladies and gentlemen... She just has this like... It's like in the back of her throat, but it's not in an annoying way. And she's like, how different? She has this like little bit of like a wah in her voice. She's got a vocal deep fry.

Yeah, she sounds, I could listen to her talk about anything. Like this is a, I specifically remember this episode and it was about Newt Gingrich and like really who cares? But she's just really smart and her voice is uh like butter in my ears new bad guy there that's who i wanted to pick no it was great it was fantastic good should i still pick it you should

still pick it you picked it you picked it okay what's her name again zoe chase zoe chase oh yeah all right and your final pick lightning round oh my god i have to do it back to back lightning Zoe Chase. Zoe Chase. Oh, yeah. Zoe Chase getting some shine. All right. And your final pick, lightning round. Oh, my God. I have to do it back to back. Lightning, lightning, lightning, lightning, lightning. That's Serpentine. Michael Caine.

Damn. Oh, fuck. I picked Michael Caine. Damn. I didn't even think of that. Damn, that's good. That's who I was thinking of when you were like, if you say their name, I can only do an impression of them.

Number two. Oh, Michael Caine. Michael Caine. You were only supposed to blow the blind doors off. like if you say their name i can only do an impression of number two or michael kane you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off blow the bloody doors off i need to turn to the broken voice i need to turn to the broken shout out to the trip sean your final pick mila kunis really i know if you google iconic voices, it comes up. People do feel that way. She has a great voice. It's deep. That sounds like a real Joker poster unframed pic to me.

But my man is a Joker from, he's an unframed Joker poster. What's weird that you bring it up, because I have an unframed Joker poster right here. Katie, check it out. It's an unframed Joker poster. Upside down. So it's like you're seeing it for the first time, because it's upside down. You see that. Do you want to know how he got the scars because i actually i wrote a book on it there's a graphic novel i wrote about i think it's more i think the word is manifesto yeah sean your your your list of picks seems like a uh like a list you turn into a teacher

on who you want to do a research project on i don't know mila kunis or jfk i don't know can i just fucking do it i don't know david time for your final pick angela bassett oh that's great that was i was gonna pick angela smooth oh my god absolutely and like kind of angry yeah yeah but in a way that's like coming from a place of care yeah or like when she's burning up her husband's shit. Or that, yeah. They started that business together in Phoenix. She's got a passionate voice. Or when she got her groove back.

Anyways, Angela Bassett. I remember when she got her groove back. That was tight. My final pick, Vin Scully. Former voice of the Dodgers. Of course, yes. God for not forgotten. God, you guys are so...

Everybody knows the baseball guy. I mean, diversify your sportfolio. Wow, that just fell out of my mouth. Okay, mom. Oh my God. Diversify your sportfolio. This is free. Katie, this is free.

Oh my God. Wow. Oh my gosh. You should get a job in sports. You should get some kind of job in sports media That's what I think Wouldn't that be neat But then everybody would have to yell about how much I get paid

Yeah Give some of it back I lost as a lady I'm sorry did I take this I thought it was mine It's too bad that you did that I'll give it back You didn't even play the sport, for God's sake. No, I didn't.

Jesus. I mean, me neither, because I was fat. But that's different. But that's different. You could have. I couldn't, no matter how hard I try. Are we talking about backgammon? That is a game for men.

It's a tough sport. Tough sport, backgammon. Everybody knows that's for dudes, guys. Back fatgammon. We play back fatgammon, which is a dude. Everybody knows that's for dudes, guys. Back fat gammon. We play back fat gammon, which is a dude.

There's very few things in quarantine that I'm like, that was my moment today. That was a good moment. And I think diversify your sportfolio is going to be it for me. That's pretty good. Just so you guys know, that's the peak of my day today, which is what, Thursday? What is today? Monday?

Monday. Thursday this comes out. Oh, then today is Thursday Monday. Thursday this comes out. Oh, then today is Thursday somewhere. Let's all drink. It's Thursday somewhere. All right,

run the recap. I'm sorry. We will. Katie, you went first. You took David Attenborough, Doc Emmerich, Kristen Schaal,

Zoe Chase, and Michael Kine. A great team. you went second. You took Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Tilly, Snoop Dogg, JFK, and Mila Kunis. John, you went second. You took Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Tilly, Snoop Dogg, JFK, and Mila Kunis. David, you went third.

Kunis. Like something that grows on a foot. Mila Kunis. It's a bonus pick. Mila Kunis. It's a boner. Mila Kunis. Live in Rotondale. David, you went last or third. You took James Earl Jones,

Rue McClanahan, Wanda Sykes, Eartha Kitt, and then Angela Bassett. Stand behind it. I went last, and I took Maya Angelou, Alan Rickman, Kathy Bates, Paul Giamatti, and Vin Scully. Great teams all around. It's going to be very hard for Mel Kiper

to figure out who won this. I'm sure he'll figure it out. I feel like he's got a lot of time to kill. Oh, no, just, okay. To do whatever it is he fucking does. Give me a B minus on my birthday. It was my fucking birthday, and he dropped a B minus on me. Look, he doesn't let, it's not about off the field issues.

He just, he doesn't let it affect it. It's what happens within the sidelines. I'm just going to say, and maybe this is related to Mel Kiper or not, I bought a sword. I bought a sword. We left a lot of good ones on the board, didn't we? Matthew McConaughey, Dennis Haysbert. Casey Kasem.

Casey Kasem. Oh, Casey Kasem. It's all the Joker. He was like, up here, but I guess that sounds like the Joker too. I'm Casey Kasem. Casey Kasem. Joan Rivers.

I had John Turturro. Barack Obama. We left him on the board. That's a good one. Holly Hunter. Joan Rivers did the thing where she would breathe in the middle of the sentences and then struggle to get the rest out because it's like a child,

like a toddler telling a story. Anti-Semitic. Anti-Semitic impression. I didn't watch it. I would never. The Sutherlands, both Donald and Kiefer. Oh, yeah. Those are good ones.

Yeah. Katie, that was a great Joan Rivers, by the way. Thank you so much. What about Shatner? Oh, yeah. Bill Shatner a great Joan Rivers, by the way. Thank you so much. What about Shatner? Oh, yeah. Bill Shatner. There's something on the wing, which is genuinely how,

I went back and watched that episode. That's genuinely how he says it, which is a ridiculous, a ridiculous, not the right amount of horror for what's happening. And people are like, that's one of the scariest episodes of television ever, but it's fucking William Shatner.

It's so funny. It's hilarious. There's a a little there's a dude in 14 dollars worth of like costume playing in the studio ah showbiz talk we could do it all day but david you gotta go wait cape lanchette oh yeah that's a great one cape lanchette cardi b and reba i like the way reba talks oh reba yeah yeah yeah he's got a good success. Oh, wait, and Ed Ogeron, that's the one who should have gone. Oh, no, no, no. He sounds like a cartoon lobster. The whole team got COVID-19 on the calendar.

They all got there. It's all right, pal. That was good. The whole team got there, coronavirus. Can you just say crocodile or alligator? The whole crocodile got there, alligator. The crocodile, they don't trust that crocodile, alligator? Oh, crocodile got the alligator got a crocodile. They don't trust that crocodile alligator COVID-19. Nice.

Good. Shout out to Taylor and Keegan, James Crowley and Brian Flynn. What's up, y'all think? Mr. Crowley. Shout out to whoever suggested this. It was on Twitter. It was this week. I can't remember your name.

I'm dehydrated. We want to hear yours hit us up at all fantasy pod on twitter all fancy podcast at gmail.com shout out to everyone at all fantasy everything patreon thank you so much for holding us down shout to everyone on the all fantasy everything subreddit y'all are rad shout out to super producer marissa melnick do you have a pick for us marissa favorite voice uh the first idea that came to mind was actually Ian Carmel, because I think you have a very great energy in your voice and just the range alone.

I mean, you've showed it this episode too, and just the range of voices you could do. Thank you so much. That's not fair. This is bullshit. I didn't pick my boyfriend. I thought we weren't picking people that we knew. Thank you.

Yeah, he does have an amazing voice. It's like 80% of the reason why I wanted to date him. I was like, can you just talk? And now I'm like, will you shut the fuck up? He's just telling you to take a shower. You said you can't remember the last time. You know what, Sean? That got too

real. At least now the people will know why we're mean to you that's a hurt joke not a you joke you let them hear the real you finish up Ian Katie just on behalf of all fantasy everything I'm sorry about that David I know I'm sure you feel the same way

I haven't smiled yet I'll be nervous about this for the rest of the night David I'm sure David no I absolutely need to shower I'm disgusting it just hurt. That's all. Shout out to Super Bruiser Marissa. Shout out to her pick, Ian Carmel. I will remind everyone, a voice with range and timber. Timber. A voice of

timber. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel. I love you, Mom. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking Ashley Braband. Ashley Braband! Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Yeah, hell yeah. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking... Ashley Braband. Ashley Braband!

Shout out to Ashley Braband. Shout out to Steve. Shout out to their kid. What's their kid's name? Aloysius? Yes. Yeah, Aloysius Braband, dude. Shout out to you.

Already in the NHL getting, you know, skating circles around another NHL player. I know a bunch of them. We all do. Connor McDavid. There we go. Yay! Good job. Patrick Waugh.

Patrick Waugh. Make sure you listen to Sports with Katie Nolan and make sure you turn in for the rest of Kate-tober when one of the episodes might even be in November. So keep tuning in to the Katie Nolan residency and more important than all of that, tune in again next week for another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.

Shaklockity! That was a hate gun podcast.