All Fantasy Everything - Weird Billionaire Hobbies (w/ Pablo Torre, David Gborie, and Sean Jordan)

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad, buy all of the things I never had...Episode Guest:Pablo Torre @PabloTorre (IG: @PabloTorre)Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls. Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel (IG: @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan @SeanSJordan (IG: @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG: @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee @IsaacKLee (IG: @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Scoot Henderson is maybe going to win the MVP, the Defensive Player of the Year, and the Rookie of the Same Season. Are you wondering when LeBron James is going to finally let himself go bald and embrace his destiny as the greatest bald athlete of all time? Have we got a podcast for you. It's called Emotional, a basketball podcast. Zach Harper is a basketball writer with a

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almost anything in the world and even some of the things that aren't sports related basketball let's start the podcast dude you watch that 60 minutes interview with with uh cp on coach prime not yet you call him cp he's so dank dude uh who do you who are the best coaches out there and he's like give me a mirror they go do you really think it's you and he's like what about me he says something the effect he's like what about me makes you think that I wouldn't say that? So great. He's like a hot dude. And he's, it's great. We don't have to talk about Dion.

He's fucking gorgeous. Yeah, sorry. Anyway. He is. He's crazy. He's beautiful. We should all admit this. Yeah.

We all want to be coached by him. He's so in shape. It's crazy. And he doesn't have a toe. Yeah. And he's like, ah, that guy. He was doing too good with 10 toes he was like let me take a couple of these toes off and even it out a little bit yeah still doing great yeah

and then shador like coming back i mean ian we texted about it now here so he said career i was watching this interview and he's like i just threw for the most yards of my career is it your career yet if you're not getting paid? They're getting paid, buddy. Are they? In college? Yeah, it's all switched now. Oh yeah, they did. Oh, sure. What do they make? Not by the school, but they're getting paid like six figures at least

from various sponsors, local fast food establishments. And there's no limit. Is there like a cap or anything? Or is it just whatever their agent does, they can get And there's no limit. Is there like a cap or anything? Or is they just, whatever their agent does, they can get?

There's no limit, I don't think. Parking wise. That's sick. Yeah. I think that's right. Free market. All right,

I'll do our interest. Although maybe we should just start out there, Isaac. Why not? Talking about how we all have to admit that Deion Sanders is a hot boy. Let's do it.

Show me some dickhead who's not ready to say that that oh lots of people on the internet yeah he's dope i think there's probably plenty of people in wherever colorado state university is who are prepared to say he's not a hot boy it's in boulder well listen no colorado state's in fort collins also and maybe don't hit late hit you motherfuckers that shit was crazy henry blackburn i mean listen you're 20 i'm not gonna i don't want to say your name out but what the fuck man a lot of or at the very least target somebody that i'm not gonna want to watch later this season like travis hunter i'm like i was looking forward to him playing a million snaps a game and now he's apparently hospitalized.

Thanks a lot for taking away the content. Yeah, you thought nobody was going to see that? The one guy everybody's looking at on the field? You thought you were going to get away with that? Hospitalize somebody with a lower Q rating. Can we please get our priorities straight?

Take a long snapper out. Take a long snapper out. Get him out of there, dude. Get one of those get one of these 35-year-old kickers out of there. We got plenty of them right now. He has three kids. He had three kids. He's gonna be fine. He's lived a long, happy life. He's from

Australia. He's fine. He's like 40. I don't even know how he's NCAA eligible. He's on that J.R. Smith. If you don't know what the podcast is about from listening to all that, then I don't know what to tell you. This is all fantasy everything. The podcast where we fantasy draft anything

and everything from the world of pop culture on today's episode, which we have already started, baby. We are fantasy drafting weird billionaire hobbies. Our guest today is the fantastic Pablo Torre. I'm your host, Ian Carmel.

And with me, as always, are my friends and comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. Let's get into it. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that is talking about a game that happened like three weeks ago in calendar time. Oh, that's right. Probably two months ago when this comes out. We're well we're well ahead of schedule right now it's so uh colorado lost to oregon sorry about that david no come on man i was big dude seven touchdowns bo nicks hung seven on him listen listen

you guys bet something on this game 50 bucks 50 bucks all right great yeah we do a little virtual shake a little virtual shake you thought we're shake. You thought I was going to be... I'm going to run from it. It's almost useless talking about this, but we are going to be together. David is from Colorado. I'm from Oregon. We're going to be in Denver

during the game next week, just for a little context. I'm deeply excited for you guys to be validated explicitly by your takes, which are obviously correct. In no way will any of us look bad for talking about a kid who did not obviously i don't know have some miracle surgery travis hunter definitely will not play in that game all of that's gonna happen yeah all of this is gonna happen he's gonna he's gonna run through the tunnel at halftime on the back of ralphie

he's coming in to say the whole fire flag air butt style it's gonna be amazing coming in to say the whole shit. Air butt style. It's going to be amazing. Welcome to All Fantasy Everything. If this is your first time to All Fantasy Everything, we take a topic and we fantasy draft it.

We'll do all our plugs later. Pablo, thank you so much for joining us here. Weird Billionaire Hobbies was your idea and it was prompted by a topic you were just recently talking about on your show pablo tori finds out yes thank you well ian really i mean it's me

plagiarizing your suggestion in my twitter mentions because i did an episode about why it is that all of these tech billionaires are suddenly really into brazilian jujitsu like why is everyone now like in silicon valley an MMA fighter? And so we did a whole episode about that. Pablatori finds out. You can go actually listen to our journalistic investigation. But Ian accurately sussed out the heart of the story, which is that billionaires do a lot of weird shit. And so it's an honor really to be here. It's an honor to have you. This is a thrill for us. I think a career highlight. Same. Yeah.

From your paintball studio in Tribeca, nonetheless. It's a laser tag arena for the last time. I really threw paintball out there like we were talking. That's right, laser tag. Live from the Robert De Niro Memorial Laser Tag Arena in Tribeca, Manhattan.

That's right. All ages welcome at this laser tag arena. All ages welcome, yeah, tag arena. All ages welcome. Yeah, from zero to 99 and everything in between. I'm still chasing. I think the laser tag pizza is adjacent to Chuck E. Cheese pizza in its specificity. And I feel like you can't find those anywhere else in the world.

It's kind of like the apres ski sort of like mug of hot cocoa. You got to earn it through laser tag. And then afterwards, you just are. You revel in the glory of the microwave pizza you got. You deplete precious grease resources in your body during a game of laser tag. And you need to replenish it. I do that in all kinds of activities. The grease sources are low, dude.

Grease sources running low. My grease is down. We had this animatronic coyote that would bring us our pizza after we played laser tag. Wilbur the coyote. It was dank, dude. Bro, he would bring you the pizza? Yeah, there was a little track and he'd bring it around. I knew the kid that used to operate the voice.

So I got to see the control room and all that shit. But yeah, he'd bring it around on this little tricycle and uh talk to you it was dope would you ever call people up and do the coyote voice like people like because you all went to that place growing up i assume so you know that voice right call them up and like threaten them in the voice no i don't think he did he did other stuff more nefarious things that i can't talk about on here kill the guy kill the guy a lot of follow-up questions yeah yeah it was tight though laser tag back at gigglebee's shout out to false that was fun uh the way we determine the order of this fantasy draft is a game of rock paper scissors and it's played between the three of you we throw it on shoot

you ready pablo you didn't know it's so high stakes Here we go Rock, paper, scissors, shoot Oh Pablo wins A natural Scissors taking out two papers Clean A clean sweep Pablo as the winner of rock, paper, scissors How does it feel first of all?

I like to receive Is that how this works? I'm going to receive You have to pick which one you're going to do. Can you throw some grass in the air, see which way the wind blows? What you can receive is the ability to dictate the order of today's fantasy draft. But before you do that, I need you to know it is a serpentine draft. And what is that?

That's a great question. I got you. I got you. It's sort of like if you're looking for a parking spot at the mall around Christmas time. You want to park close. It's chilly out. So you go all the way up to the top. You drive down.

At a certain point, you're like, we're not going to park all the way down here. So then you turn to your right and you go a little bit into the next aisle. Then you take a right. Then you go all the way back up. You're just hoping. You see people with bags. I hope they leave. And so you just kind of zigzag all around the parking lot until you park in the back and then walk because you got legs you know perfect if anyone still has any questions basically what it means is you pick

fourth in the first round you pick first in the in the second round now pablo with that in mind what will the today's order be yeah so i get to pick the slot that David and Sean will be in is that right? I get to pick everything and me you get to play Thomas oh of course and of course

and all of you alright so I'm going David 1 okay David 1 because I believe he was the nicest

about my laser tag studio arena I like it I just want to be very close number 2 is Ian Because he's trying to clean up His mess that he made And number three is Sean

Because he called it a paintball thing And you know I want the back to back picks That would be If you were in a paintball course I'm just thinking like If it actually was a paintball course It'd be so wild

Like those giant blow up Whatever they are Yeah this is where I take my where I do watch this very badly. Sean also said it looked like the inside of a submarine, though. So there's a lot of, I mean, there's a lot of, there's a lot of aesthetic at play.

Also, just to reiterate, we think it looks dope. Oh, yeah, it looks amazing. Fantastic. Thank you. I have a Sega Genesis here somewhere. Hold on.

Oh, yeah, here it is. This is just, just, in no way am I running from the laser tag vibes, just to be very clear. What are you playing on the Sega Genesis right now?

They say Road Rash. Altered Beast. Echo the Dolphin. Echo the Dolphin. Oh, sure. Classic. Great soundtrack. Absolutely.

Yep. That is just... Famous soundtrack. That's just such a fun, placid experience if you want it to be. It's totally underrated. Sometimes you just want to be a dolphin who can use sonar in ways that are only vaguely helpful to you in the video game itself.

True. Yeah, absolutely. Plus, I mean, it can get stressful, too. If you can't get up to the oxygen, dude. Man, echo the dolphin. All right. Anyway, I'm dallying. David Borey, you have the first pick in the weird billionaire hobbies,

all fantasy, everything fantasy draft. And we're going to get to that pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by Babel. If you want to learn a new language, the best way is to uproot your entire life. You drop everything you're doing.

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but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash allfantasy. Again, get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash allfantasy, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash allfantasy. Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode of all fantasy, everything, is brought to you by Schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it.

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The first pick of the draft. David, you're on the clock. Camel breeding and racing. Oh, shit. Yep. I've been, bro, they're over there going nuts. They have like $200 million camels yeah it's camels it's and then and when you watch the clips of the camel racing not even that exciting that just means it's like

to me it means it's just mad personal where it's like no fuck that maybe this isn't the best sport in the world it's like when you get really into like pickleball or some shit with your friends and you're like, I don't give a shit. I fucking hate Dante. So I'm going to be Dante's camel. I'm going to put $200 million into it. You're just like pickleball happens to be the arena in which I want to defeat this guy, but it could have easily been any number of other things. Yes, exactly. Exactly. And it's just like it just seems like it's like such an insular world and it's just yeah it's just real i don't even think camels are

that fast to animals compared to other animals but it really is you cut right to the heart of it with sultan cosplay right of course we want to ride a hamel of course you want to race a camel yes oh yeah but it acts my magic carpet this is all the things I imagine you do when you're a billionaire. It's a great pick by you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Now, I feel like I don't need to tell you this, but you know, Swizz Beatz is involved

in Camel racing, right? How do you think I even got here, brother? That dude, you watch his crib. He's wearing Camel colored everything. You think that's how he got into Camel racing? He's like, I's wearing camel-colored everything. All his shit is camel-colored. You think that's how he got into camel racing? He's like, I'm wearing all this camel-colored shit. I can't stop talking about Beige Wave like David brought up four years ago, probably.

Yeah, I think it's crashed, but you're still on it. It's a beige tsunami by this point. It's all over the place. Sean does text me beige shit he buys fairly frequently. I'm in it, man. I'm in the page. I didn't know, and sorry, I didn't know camels ran. There we go. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Never seen them go anything quicker than a mosey. Oh, no, they got it. Yeah, they'll run. What you need to do is go on Instagram on your phone and type in Swizz Beatz and give him a follow because every now and then he's over in Dubai just getting mixed. He like owns camels.

He's involved in the camel racing. What do you wear if you're racing? Do you wear like goggles? Like what do you wear if you're racing camels? What's the gear that a camel racer wears? Well, I don't think they're on the camels. Well, I've seen

a bunch of clips. I've seen some of them are on the camels. I've seen clips both ways. There are dudes on camels. And based on this picture, which granted is from Australia, which does not seem like a hotbed of camel racing. But this guy's wearing a polo shirt, jeans and a bike helmet. Man, you're getting dangerously close to a different pick. But yes. So you dress like you're on aously close to a different pick, but yes. So you dress like you're on a Segway tour, I think, basically.

It's very exciting, though. I mean. In modern camel racing, camels are often controlled by remote-controlled robotic whips. Yeah, so there aren't people on these camels. Wow. That's what I was going to say. Most of the clips I saw didn't have people on them. They have robot jockeys,

which is also I'm going to retract. I'm retracting my compliment. Not a great pick if you're going to ride these things. My entire thing was premised on you riding it.

No, I think that that's how rich they are is now they're outsourcing it to robots. Like you worried about AI taking our jobs. It's going to start

at the top. Camel racing first. Camel jockeys. That's when I knew. That's when the strike started. The WGA approved the vote once we saw the camel jockeys have been replaced by robots. That's an amazing pick. Camel racing.

You're right. It's just got to be to say fuck you to other rich people there's no like there's no what's his name lewis hamilton of the camel it's only for rich rich rich people uh time for my first pick and speaking of only for rich rich rich people i'm going to take another competition because i mean if there's one thing rich people like, it's competitions. I'm going to take professional sailing. Oh, like yachting? Like yachting, like specifically the America's Cup, which I was digging into a little bit.

They spent, to win this, it only happens like every four years and one country has to like challenge or one yacht club has to challenge the champion. What a weak challenge. I bet that it's a, it's a real like a glove slap in the face sort of situation. I bet. But they spend like $300 million on these sailboats and there's no, like you can spend that much money on like another kind of professional sports team. And there's some kind of return on investment. People go see it. There's tax breaks.

Yada, yada, yada. This Larry Ellison who founded Oracle is like one of the big dudes in it. And like the other is like this billionaire who like founded Prada. And owns that whole company. And they just sink money into it. Strictly for bragging rights. It's a wild scene, man. It's crazy. Are they yachts?

They're sailboat yachts. All I know is that people who are in the America's Cup listening to this are furious that we don't know the answer. Of course, it's obviously this one specific thing. If they want to drop the bag, I't know the answer. Yeah. Of course, it's obviously this one specific thing.

If they want to drop the bag, I'll know the answer. They're so mad. They've just taken off their Sperry top siders and whipped it at the Bose speaker in the corner of their sailboat. Can there be a sail to survive? Why isn't there a drive to survive but the America's Cup?

Like, why can't there be this reality docu-series already? I think those people are just that annoying. They're like, we can't even, we don't even have, there's not even a show here. It's just like a bunch of unlikable millionaires. It's just going to upset everybody. They've got the footage. They're just like, we can't put this out.

I dabbled in the yacht world once. Did I ever tell you about that? No. What is that? What does dabbling in the yacht world mean? Forgive me. shout out to danny my man 50 grand he used to be the cook one of the cooks at the saint francis yacht club in san francisco and they owned a private island like up north in the delta and every year for the employee appreciation party, they would have it on the private Island. So you would take a shot like a,

like a, like a sprinter van from the yacht club up to the private Island. And then like at the dock, all the yacht club members would meet you with their yachts and drive you over to the private Island. And then we partied on it all day. And I did that one time and it was, uh,

it was a wild scene, man. What what was it like i don't know it was weird we were just all because like it was all the friends and family of the people who worked there and then the yacht guys were like bartending and cooking food and like i played a lot of chicken in the pool uh it was pretty cool good time were there were there like yacht people there yeah we were we had to ride on the yachts to even get to the island so they picked us up at the dock on the yachts and took us over there that's wild i think i got two buck i did yeah i did i i is i yeah i would have been i would have been i'd have been telling people on the yacht. It was mine.

People who know full well, it's not. No, because they pick you up in their yachts. I think those people get bucked, though. Yeah. No, it was. It was. Everybody was. There were no kids either.

It was like, well, I don't remember. Adults only island. It was. It was. It was a throwdown for sure i suppose that could be billionaire shit too where they're like they want to be with people that get like normal normal buck where they're like yeah i've been hanging out with these other fucking squares forever i want to be with like some salt of the earth and like do real drugs

they liked like uh they liked like bartending and shit you know yeah yeah because it was like cosplay for them yeah central theme to a lot of these picks i think so for sure but they're just like like what if i just did this what if what if i did this what if i was doing this every day like that yachting i understand the america's cup is strictly for speed it's only for bragging rights true mostly now it's to embarrass news like billionaires from new zealand Zealand is the main thing it seems to be for, for Larry Ellison. But it is the longest running international competition. Yeah, it goes back to the 1850s.

That's how you know it's for rich people. Larry Ellison, there's one other yacht-related detail that I've heard about with Larry Ellison, Larry Ellison had a like basketball court on his main yacht, but he had another smaller yacht following the main yacht to pick up the balls that went overboard. Oh my God. I don't even know what I respect. Honestly, if you're going to take it there to the first,

but, and then there was another yacht following that smaller yacht to pick up any. Wall Street Journal article from 2014, Larry Ellison's overboard basketball retriever tells all is the headline. So that headline is someone like in the Great Depression. I'm trying to get that. I'm trying to get that job right now. If these strikes go any longer, I'm going to be signing i'm trying to get that job right now if these strikes go any

longer i'm gonna be signing up for yacht basketball retrieval like tomorrow probably pays more than any job i've ever had yeah i was gonna say i'd do it yeah that'd be great because it requires knowing how to drive a yacht which nba player do you think he got to work on that basketball like that nb the uh the basketball retrieval. You know he got like some former dude. Yeah. Like Matt Bonner is reaching off the side with his long ass arms. Yeah, like olden colonies. That's right.

Larry Ellison couldn't buy the Warriors, so he hired Festus Azeale to retrieve his basketballs. Portland Trailblazer great Festus Azeale. Zero games, zero minutes. One big contract. Sean Jordan, time for your

first pick. Collecting insane memorabilia. And there's a couple so I didn't want to, I can't say it's not art. The two things that I was thinking of when I found it were,

um, this dude, William Coke has the only known photograph of Billy, the kid, like the only certified actual photograph of Billy, the kid, which really made me feel something. It felt like I saw that. I was like, Jesus, that's awesome. It really is awesome. William Koch, also heavily involved in the America's Cup. I'm sure we're going to get pretty incestuous with all this stuff. But like, yeah, so that and then Bill Gates. So that was like three mil, but Bill Gates dropped 70 mil roughly on Da Vinci's notebook, like Da Vinci's scribble book with just designs and stuff in it. So I guess I'm saying not not i'm not saying art i'm just

saying like crazy shit that you like memorabilia type thing i get that i guess it ian you're better with words than i am like you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah i think you're nailing it dude random ephemera those two things stick out specifically but that picture of billy the kid really i would love to see that. Like, I would really go somewhere to see that. It's amazing. You can't see it? Yeah, you can look it up on the internet, but it's like, there's one picture. But it's sort

of like that scene I imagine in Uncut Gems where Kevin Garnett's at, like, the Sotheby's auction. I just want to be outbidding Kevin Garnett on everything. Right. Why would you show me this picture of Billy the Kid if I can't have it? Because. Because, Kevin.

Just because. I mean, he does look like a kid. He does. It's like a good title. It looks like there's a few pictures of Billy the Kid. From what I gathered, there's one certified, certified known actual photograph of Billy the Kid and it's not even just him it's like a whole it's like seven people and he's one of the

people that's like the only certified actual picture of Billy the Kid it's like seven people in a field kind of I feel like this category also though contains like so if you're like a billionaire who collects dinosaur skeletons I i feel like

this this this is also encompassed underneath this general heading right i think i think so these are the two the two things that i was really leaning on were those two specific things because they just really made me feel nuts thinking about like just crazy if you could have someone over at your crib and be like you want to see da Vinci's scribble book? For real? It's fucking bonkers. Would you add in a couple things if you bought it? And you're like, because some of these guys are so like egotistical that they're like, let me go ahead and take over where the other genius left off. He was also going to build, and this is crazy, but a broom handle, like a sweeper, and then the dustpan with a rubber handle.

So you could just kind of bend them over and they never had to disconnect. Da Vinci was going to build that. That's what I'd tell people at cocktail parties. That'd be my added scribble on. Oh, so you... Yeah, I did. Can you believe that Da Vinci... And then I'd show them one from me in middle school.

I'd be like, I thought of the same shit. I was younger than Da Vinci when I thought of it. So yeah, pretty wild. We're in the same kind of boat. Da Vinci invented Hot Pockets, dude. Look at this shit. It's definitive proof. But it makes sense because he had access to pepperoni.

I would start calling him Leo. Leo Da Vinci. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. That fucked me up. You go back in time to or you pretend to go back in time to retcon a pizza chain

yeah tracing it to leonardo da vinci's ancestry i mean i got the blueprints for a time machine now leo thought of all that so who do you think found a little caesars dude a guy in italy who's fucking leonardo da vinci the whole way. In a group thread, no more than an hour ago, my friend, he goes, do you think the guy that founded Little Caesars was from Italy? And Adam's like, I think he was Roman, so yeah. I think he was from Canada, dude.

I think... I mean, he's talking about the Caesars, but you know. Oh, the actual Caesars. Yeah, the actual... It was a little bit. Oh, you did a little bit we were doing in our group thread but actually who did find Little Caesars

you know? that would be clutch if I knew off the top I don't think it's like hidden information or anything it was Julio Caesar Chavez there he is gotta carve up man I just googled

who founded Little Caesars and my computer went to the dark web all of a sudden now I'm stuck on the dark web I found it Mike and Mary and Illich of Garden City, Michigan I believe they also owned the Detroit Tigers I think

the Illich family incidentally yes he owns owned the Detroit Tigers, I think. The Illich family, incidentally. Yes. Whoa. Yes. He owns the Tigers, Red Wings, and Little Caesars Pizza. What an empire. What an empire. Oh, don't make me pick a favorite.

Which one of my kids do I love the most? Yo, this guy is making moves. Yeah, dude. Which one came first? Truly mastered the circle. Yeah. Yeah. Not since Leonardo da Vinci has anyone mastered the circle.

I actually have the notebook where he thought about where he did the whole thing. I got it all right there. Oh, my God. Vitruvian, man. I just call him the guy. The dude. The dude. Just that guy in my notebook. One ofvian, man. I just call him the guy. The dude. The dude. Just that guy in my notebook.

One of my scribbles in Leo's journal. Pablo, it's time for your first and second picks, dude. All right. A lot of pressure now. With my first pick, I select having a shitty band that real bands have to respect because you're really rich. Oh, that's such a good pick. That's a great pick. It's crazy.

And you think they think that the real bands actually think they're dope? Are they that delusional? The Eagles definitely respect JD and the Straight Shot when they open for them. Definitely like, oh, thank God they're here. I went to my, I worked for Chelsea Lately lately was my first job and in uh hollywood pablo and i she like her manager was irving azoff who was the guy like the famous eagles manager so when the when they were reopening the forum as like a music venue kind of thing they did this huge like they played seven nights to open it and before that they did this big

charity concert so the first musical artist that went up was joan baez you know like this legendary you know like la like canyon artist she like did diamonds and rust i think that was a song and it was like amazing she sang three songs it was beautiful her voice was beautiful and then before the eagles went up jd and the straight shot went up there and he fucking stood up there on stage with his hands in his pockets the entire time singing. It was, it was so, and they did.

And then the Eagles went up and did like six songs. JD and it was a JD and the straight shot concert. And the Eagles just happened to go up after, like he did way more songs than anyone else. It was terrible. That's, I have never, so I should say

for journalistic disclosure, I have never been to a J.D. and the Straight Shot concert. I aspired to just because it sounds perversely, perversely thrilling.

But what I want to do when I go is actually look at the faces as well of the musicians in the band with Jim Dolan, owner of the Knicks.

Yes. What I've read is that he hired, of course, because he can. He's a weird billionaire with weird billionaire hobbies. He's hired like excellent session musicians. Yes. Who are like, are actually like,

of course, they're going to, they're going to make him sound better than he is. I just want to see what faces they make as Jim Dolan closes his eyes and does his version of whatever the fuck Jim Dolan thinks he's doing they are they are amazing they just must be like closing their eyes and thinking about their mortgage yeah I mean because it's not they must have long their lives are like how often do they play with JD in the street how many gigs a year is that? More than you would think is my guess.

I'm guessing Jim Dolan wants this a lot. I would say I would guess. Once a month, JD and the Stray Shot gets together. It's my guess. Wow. And then there's also rehearsals, right?

You can't just... They have seven albums. What the fuck? Their music has been featured. I didn't know that. I had the number of albums. That's insane. I don't even know if I knew there was an album, like an actual real released.

You can buy an album. The group song can't make tears was on the soundtrack for the TV show. Hell on wheels on AMC. Oh, the train show. That was someone trying to score some points for sure and their music has been featured in august osage county hurricane season and butter all of which were produced by the weinstein company huh yeah that also tracks more like so oh my god they've opened for the eagles the allman brothers band zz top jewel keith urban the dixie chicks joe walsh and robert randolph earned earned not given the golden brown fans damn

what do they say it says here that the new york times music critic john perellis uh i might be pronouncing that wrong, has called them a group of well-known sidemen backing a karaoke-grade singer. Damn. There we go. And it says that James Dolan's musical talents are unlikely to endanger his day job. Unfortunately.

I would love it if it endangered his day job, honestly. That would be fantastic. Yeah. And somebody else could slide in there. Would you rather have, if you could switch, Pablo, are you a New York Knicks fan?

I ancestrally grew up here. Yeah, rooted for them. Stopped because of Dolan specifically. But yeah, in my bones, I am. You have a genetic, you have a genetic predisposition to the New York Knicks. Inherited.

Inherited. Would you trade, like, would you send James Dolan, what's your favorite band? The answer intuitively that I always would say is Kanye West, and now I'm like, I probably can't say that anymore. I mean, you're on the right podcast.

We've all gone through that. Well then, yeah. Let's pretend it's 2016. Oh, what a weird year to pick. Let's pretend it's 2016. What a weird year to pick. Let's pretend it's 2012, 2013. And it's Kanye West. Would you, in 2012, would you have swapped James Dolan? He now has to put like,

now Kanye West runs the Knicks. And James Dolan. Just to get, like is James Dolan that bad that you would then compromise your favorite musical artist? Kanye is not putting music out anymore. Instead, James Dolan is now releasing tracks with, like, all of Kanye's producers, including Kanye.

Does he rap? Is he rapping? Is he rapping? James Dolan is rapping. Thank you for asking the key question. Do I get to hear James Dolan rap? Get to is how you phrase that. It's James Dolan's 808s and heartbreaks.

But now it's a concept album about kicking Charles Oakley out of the garden. James Dolan's 808s and heartbreaks. Because I think I'll also get James Dolan's gospel era phase. I will also. Yeah, of course, I'm making that trade. I got to find out Dolan's gospel era phase. I will also, uh, yeah, of course I'm making that trade. I got to find out what that's like.

Fantastic. Yeah. You're getting, you're going to get James Dolan's weird friendship with Elon Musk. You're getting James Dolan's, uh, troubled relationship with Kim Kardashian. You're getting everything you're getting.

You're getting watch the thrones though, too. Hmm. Jason, James Dolan on a floating platform, just like dangling over the mosh pit of James Dolan on a floating platform just like dangling over the mosh pit of James Dolan fans.

Yeah. That's going to be great. He's still showing a long video about Robert Kardashian during it too though. Yeah. I'm performing

in front of a recreation of his childhood home. Yeah. Just imagine a huge brownstone. James Dolan plays the excerpt from the video game

he made about his mom who died. That's pretty great. I only listen to it on the Dolan players, so I paid for that. I will say I still wear the DZs because they're comfortable, even after what he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The DZs. The DZs. The resale value of the DZs.

It's tanked. Yeah. The resale value of the DZs. It's tanked. Pablo, that's a great first pick. And your second pick. Well, you mentioned it. You alluded to it. My second pick, I'm taking still being addicted to Twitter. Yeah.

That's great. That is great. Dude, if I had a billion dollars are you doing i'm fucking out of here out getting out dude never see me again i'm not talking to you losers on twitter i have a bill what the fuck dude if you get if i had eight hundred thousand dollars i might not be on twitter anymore if i had $800,000, I might not be on Twitter anymore. If I had $10,000 more, I'm looking for an exit. Pablo, do you have anyone specific in mind when you bring up this pick?

Well, I think, of course, I mean, Elon is just the most obvious example. I think about it mostly, though, in terms of his photo negative. I consider Elon Musk's absolute opposite to be Magic Johnson, because Magic Johnson is on Twitter, but I don't believe that he's actually tweeting for himself. I think he has all of the benefits of just being present on the internet without ever actually being on the internet. So like what you should do, I believe, what Magic does, which is hire somebody to tweet incredibly mundane things perfectly in your voice. Lots of exclamation points, lots of photos

of you like on a yacht in the Mediterranean with Samuel L. Jackson, but never actually log in once. I don't think Magic Johnson has ever logged into Twitter, despite being very popular on Twitter. I think you might be right. I think he still thinks it's like a microblog where he's just like updating his stuff that he's just like updating his stuff.

Yeah. Magic's got it all figured out, man. More ways than one. His tweets. Yeah. His tweets are like, they're like the tweet equivalent of like the sleepy time tea bear. They're just so cozy. They're completely, they're fine.

They do exactly what they say. They're not a threat to anyone. it's just a very pleasant experience it's wild to think a billionaire has the time or any time to go on twitter it takes a lot of time for people who are barely on it it's like consumes you i think that billionaires travel a lot and within travel there's a lot of downtime just it's just it's just the like i don't know the arrogance i the arrogance, I guess, to be like, I'm going to look at Twitter. I'm going to respond. I'm going to say poignant thing. What I think are poignant things.

It just, where's that time? I know traveling, but it seems like there's the shit they'd be doing. I try to avoid the, like, you know, as someone on, like, who's on the left in general, there's this weird where it's like Elon Musk is like an idiot who just inherited his daddy's money, and maybe that's true. I don't know him, but I try to think of the world in terms of that not being true, because he does seem to have had a lot of successes in other areas, even

if I personally don't care for the dude or whatever, but it's like his behavior with Twitter does seem to be completely like just him being triggered which i know is like a loaded term but like i think it's him i think what is at the core of this weird billionaire behavior is billionaires searching for what all of us i guess really want which is reply guys yeah like elon musk wants he elon musk got rich whether he realizes it or not, to get Ian Miles Cheong to reply to every tweet.

He's like, finally, here we are. I made it. I got this guy in my mansion sucking my dick every day. Every day. Like, exactly, sir. Couldn't have said it better myself, sir. This weird like HMS fucking Elon Musk like fantasy that they all play out together. Like they're all on this,

like the good ship X together. Another excellent decision, sir. It is the case that Elon Musk also, the reason why I think of this too, is that like, no one has made being rich, less cool than Elon Musk's Twitter account.

Like there used to be mystique. And now I'm like, if this is, to your point, to David's visceral response, if this is what's at the end of the rainbow, what the fuck are we doing? What the fuck? Capitalism was sustained by the myth that at the end of the rainbow,

there was something other than Ian Miles Chiang. And now there is just Ian Miles Chiang. Just him waiting on the other end. I'm here. It's I kind of, part of me thinks that he was probably always this dude. And then part of me is like,

did him putting out a flamethrower that people responded to ruin his brain? Remember when he was just like the duty like he made a flamethrower commercially available and like that's kind of that's kind of cool if you can take yourself back to

that year or whatever and it's like oh that's that's like kind of cool like I don't want one but I guess that's like kind of an interesting thing to do and then the type of people like yeah remember that the fucking like epic bacon motherfuckers who that attracted to him who then like have slowly become radicalized on his platform it's just i also he seems to be doing business decisions on x to spite the kind of people who

make fun of him where he's like is he is he like throttling substack because that's a good business decision? Or is it because he just wants to punish the people who criticize him? It seems like the latter. Definitely. Definitely petty grievances executed via a child's idea of what it means to run the internet. And it's all, I wish he was alone. But I don't know. I don't, I don't listen to the all in podcast, but I certainly get it fed into my algorithm

because I click on enough. I guess I've clicked on enough Elon flamethrowers 10 years ago that now I just get all of the all in podcast guys all doing this. They're all just billionaires fucking hunting for likes from their reply guys. And I'm just like, this is, this is about as nightmarish as capitalism is, I guess. It's awful. Even Steve Cohen, the owner of the Mets, he's still on there on Twitter mixing it up every now and then. Getting into it in the replies.

It's so weird. That seems like it should be the freedom. I don't even like to do that. And I am not rich at all. You're off Twitter when it would be beneficial to your career. Yeah. It's not on Twitter at all. But you're a stand-up comedian.

To my detriment. Good for you. For your detriment. But seriously. But to your spiritual and personal benefit. Yeah, tell my team. They love it. I bet you they're so mad mad i never thought about that i had more i had way more followers on twitter than i do on instagram too and i was like

bong just like yeah and now i can't go back because it's like i don't i don't want to but yeah did you have to start over could you just like no yeah we have to start over i but i don't want to, but yeah. Did you have to start over? Could you just like. No. Yeah. We'd have to start over. I, but I don't even, I don't even every now and again, if somebody's got it on their phone, I'll be like, you know, it's like, you ever see like old alcoholics take a sniff of a drink? Yeah. Yeah. That's like what I'll do.

If I see somebody on Twitter, I'll be like, Hey, let me, let me look at that. money on Twitter. I'll be like, hey, let me look at that real fast. You know what I mean? You just scroll through a little bit.

Carry around a rag soaked in Twitter juices just occasionally huffed out of your pocket. And then I put it back in my pocket and go on about my business. That's dope.

Sean, your second pick. Buying islands. Oh, yeah, dude. Which, I mean, come on. That's sick. It's just sick. Yeah. Buying islands. Oh, yeah, dude. Which, I mean. Come on. That's sick. It's just sick.

Yeah. It's awesome. Let's not forget some of these things we're going to pick aren't rad. I'm going to pick mostly rad shit. Oh, for sure. I mean, going forward. But like, I can't even imagine how tight that'd be. Let's go to my island.

What was your first exposure to this? And why was it the Cribs where Richard Branson took us to his island? It was Richard Branson. I was like, who the fuck is this guy? He was so happy. He's one of the ones. I don't, I mean, I'm fairly ignorant to like most current news, I guess. So pardon me if he's done anything wrong, but he seems like a dope.

He was one where I was like, yeah, give that guy, let that guy be a billionaire. He's like a visionary. He seems like he's stoked. Seems like he takes care of people. Who knows if I'm right or wrong? I'm sure. I don't believe that any billionaire isn't doing crazy shit with actual humans that you shouldn't be doing. So it looks like an old border collie, which I like. humans that you shouldn't be doing. It looks like an old border collie, which I like. Wow. That's really actually.

Richard Branson, he is what a child would imagine a billionaire would be. He's like British, goes to space, has an island, looks like a border collie somehow. Yeah. It's the first time I remember seeing someone do the linen thing where I was like, bro, all linen on your. He didn't have any doors on his Hulk. Speaking of that cribs, there's no doors on the crib. All of it where if you gave me a billion dollars right now, like late in life, right now, not late in life, middle of life, that's what I'd be like.

I'd be so happy because I wasn't born into it or anything. Yeah. I don't think a lot of people get it early though. Right? Yeah. Probably not. There were just like hot people showering in his house all over the place you turn a corner and there was like a hot person using an outdoor

shower and you're like i bet that's what it is like if you're richard branson just to be so just be like let's go to my island for 10 days or whatever and just we just do nothing like actually do the island life putting aside all the very real socio-political concerns of the british empire and everything come on there's something like the there's something i like about the british aristocracy where they just have had old money for so long that then they also get to have this like the playboy billionaire diverge kind of thing off and like Richard Branson is like the prototypical like British playboy billionaire dude it's just

that's the like the peak of indulgence to where you just like this is my island this is mine like the whole thing this is my coastline by an island do you have to pay for the infrastructure yeah like there's not like a grid or like like there's not like a

grid or like roads and shit right like you gotta you gotta do all that before you even put like houses and shit right that's the crazy shit to think about like last time we were in new york david we were when we were walking on the street and you looked up at the building you're like think about all the plumbing in all these buildings like if you bought an island oh yeah that's why new york stresses me out you got a plum and then you like you can't just put it in the ocean so you have to have something to dispose of it somehow to get it to mainland garbage wherever you gotta get bathrooms you gotta get docks you gotta get uh electric fences you gotta get like a generator for the electric fences dinosaurs weapons you gotta get weapons right you gotta get like a generator for the electric fences dinosaurs weapons you gotta load up on weapons

you gotta get like a lot of stuff you gotta build a landing strip I assume he's not cheap if I was gifted an island today I still don't have the money to develop said island I'd be like I guess we're camping

you guys want to pull some money together, get to my island and then we can camp on it? We can be as loud as we want. In terms of the people though, you would definitely hire to work on your island.

Like Wayne Knight, Dennis Nedry, absolutely number one. I want my tech guy to literally be Wayne Knight. Number two, I want Jeffrey from Fresh Prince to be my butler.

Oh, nice. It's just, again, it's what child me thinks is actually a billionaire's life. I'm going to pick Michael Douglas from A Ghost in the Darkness to run my security. There you go. Oh, wow. I want an old school

lion hunter to run my security. You really didn't pick Dalton. The one time you could have employed him well i want to have some sex too i don't want dalton taking all of it no one's trying to smash michael douglas from ghost in the darkness you'd also have to get some girls who don't appreciate a poet soul out there because i mean if but if they do appreciate a poet soul it's over for you i'd run i would be like somebody actually does win a fight, Dalton. I'd hit him with a crowbar. Like, I won the fight.

It's my island. But if you did buy that island, you would have to build the road and the house. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a roadhouse for Dalton to inhabit. Yeah, I'd do all exact replica of the Double D. Triple D? Double D. Double Deuce. Double Deuce.

There we go. Double Deuce. Triple D is Guy Fieri. Also could be on my island. We'd have a little castaway party. It's just like loincloths and losing weight. We should have a little castaway party for a year. That's it.

You'd got to come to my party, but it's for six months. It's a six month house party on my island. Bring a volleyball. Time for my second pick. I am going to take. All right. So you already took camel racing, but I'm going to take alright so you already took camel racing but I'm going to take it too because it's so funny

no I I never have 350 episodes no one's ever been like I'm taking the same thing I'm also taking it dude sorry I am going to take not necessarily just horse racing although it's a huge part of it horse investment

oh yeah It's barely just horse racing, although it's a huge part of it. Horse investment. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's the same thing over here. Horse investment. You're really taking the exotic semen market is what that is.

That's exactly right. I would like to capitalize the... That's how I made my first million. Exotic semen. to capitalize the time i made my first million exotic siemens i package them in capri sun looking packages i put them in uh mail them out there's somebody skateboarding dark web brick and mortar shops that i have hidden throughout the country hit us up at dark web brick and mortar dot netscape uh i just wanted like So I started digging into this when I was researching for this draft. The most expensive horse ever sold.

Do you want to guess what it went for? I do. $205 million. Well, that's going to be a lot down now. See, this is like that game Wits and Wagers. You ever play that game where it's like how many feet to the moon? It just makes me feel stupid. Now I feel stupid.

Is the most expensive camel? No, camels are more expensive. The most. Oh, well, then I'm going to go. I'm going to say 10 million. 70 million. Fuck. That's still crazy. It's not a letdown.

If Sean hadn't bid 200 plus million, I would have had a strong reaction to that, admittedly, to Sean's regret. Real quick, real quick. How many episodes do you think Guiding Light had? I just did this last night with Laura. This is one of those questions. What the fuck are you talking about?

Give it a shot. How many episodes do you think Guiding Light had? 1,200. Okay. 5,200. Okay. 5,200. Okay. Paula? 5,199.

10,570 something. Isn't that crazy? Wrong side of that bet. It was like 10,572. Because Laura said, she said 1,200. And I was like, oh, man. You're off by a lot. I mean, yeah, it was five days a week, I guess, for how many years?

Yeah, for 50 years. They don't take time off. Yeah, sorry. I digress. Guiding Light, though, a great name for a luxury horse that you would bid $70 million on. Fantastic. Better. Well, now we have to decide if it's better or worse than the name of the horse that did sell for $70 million, which is Versace Pegasus.

Get out of my dream journal. Versace Pegasus? No. No, and here's what. Understandable question, Sean. Yeah. F-O-S-A-C-E. Like next Friday.

Yes. F-O-Sachi. Like next Friday. Yes, but no, but it might be F-Sachi, but it's either F-Sachi or F-Sachi. But with an F, 70 million. Guiding light's not a better name. F-Sachi Pegasus had a successful racing career, racking up earnings of $2 million and then won the Kentucky Derby in 2000. So a Kentucky Derby winner.

But his stud fee... Much lower than mine, I imagine. Yeah. Dropped from $150,000. He was getting paid $150,000. Is that per boy? That's that exotic semen we're talking about. That's the exotic semen.

Was that per... When they stud, did they actually go, do have sex or did they like collect a sample and then they use it? I think they just rather grab a nut.

Yeah. I mean, there's probably got to be a better term than I used. Grab a nut, I think. Snag a nut?

Another great horse name. Yeah. Yeah. Grab a nut. But they also, I mean,'re like they're they're also spending like 12 million dollars on jumping horses like oh wait wait what's the one that mitt romney's child or what's that one dressage dressage yeah where the horse it's which is horse dancing the dancing yeah which is exclusively the

domain of the ultra rich because it's mint romney and then the british royal family and those are like the two powerhouses of dressage that's what i love about these people they get so rich that they can just do a sport nobody else does and like feel very athletic about it it's a horse remembering shit and they're like competitive because they're like those are the people you see at parties so it doesn't matter if we don't give a fuck about dressage if you're at a party with people who exclusively care about dressage you think everyone cares about dressage right exactly exactly who springsteen's daughter was like a olympic medal like in the last Olympics, because she does some weird, obscure horse dancing kind of thing. You know, like Bruce Springsteen sang about.

Yeah. All those people on the fuck. It's just when the factory shut down and everyone had to get into competitive horse dancing. The only way they could. I mean, you know, in eastern new jersey was the only way they could keep food on the table dude it was it was slinging crack rock or very very intricate horse dancing and that was it for jersey uh david time for your second and your third picks camel breeding and racing off the table off the table uh my second pick oh this is a pretty easy one i want a big game hunting with no foreseeable hunting skills yeah dude you know what i'm saying i don't know how that would i don't think you can't do anything for you like if dropped in the wilderness i don't think you got it my security guard on my island could, but that's about it.

But yeah, it's such an odd thing to do to me because there's that disconnect that you have when you're that rich where you just assume that, no, I'm doing it like everyone else is doing it. You know what I mean? It is, now that I think about about it it is kind of like the pre-distressed genes of hunting where it's sort of like you didn't really it's like stolen a motorcycle didn't do that to your genes sure you didn't work for it like it just seems so it's such a wild like i could never feel good about it but i think once

you're in it and you're paying for this experience and everybody's gassing you up like yeah you killed an elephant like it's it's so odd to me it's so weird and it's this weird ancient thing where it's like something humans have had to do forever there There, like there's this, I don't know. There's this like unchanging arc of like having to, you know, like dominate nature. And then all of a sudden in the year 2023, it's a bunch of people who did all the work, scare out this animal,

sight the gun, range the gun, hand you the gun. You know what I mean? Like all this stuff. Cause it's also a real ass skill. Like, bro, people, people hunt and track their entire lives. You know what i mean like all this stuff because it's also a real ass skill like bro people people hunt and track their entire lives you know what i mean it's a very very true skill that i don't know if you could have the time to develop if you were building a fortune 500 company

that's where dominating nature comes into play is like flying over that part of nature so you don't have to pass through it and potentially have to kill a lion you just circumvent the whole thing you get in your helicopter you have your uh you have jeffrey from fresh prince shoot an elephant with a tranquilizer dart and then you shoot it with your fucking rocket launcher and then you take a picture of it and show everybody and you have the nerve to show people you better fucking eat elephant meat if you're doing that by the way

right? every part of the elephant you better know what elephant tastes like at the end of this safari yeah it's so weird it's like if we took other things this is a riff that i feel

already going nowhere because i can't think of another example of stuff we used to have to do as cave people no no keep going come on go kids don't stop it i don't collect collective gathering or competitive gathering where if it's like somebody they walked you out to a bush they had tasted all the other berries to see if they were poisonous and then they were like yeah oh that looks like berries and then they walk over and they eat it they're like this one isn't poisonous terrible awful not even a fun interesting riff i i'm better for it so thank you no no nobody's better for it we all are isaac just put air horns over that whole thing. I'm glad you tried. I'm thankful I'm not.

I'm sorry. I had half an apple before this, so this is me on half an apple. You know what I mean? If I had a whole one, it would have fucking I would have landed that plane. You landed the plane, bud. Yeah, you did. I don't know if I did. Isaac, put air horns over everything I say for the rest of the podcast. Oh, man, that'd be

tight. David, time for your third pick. Oh man, furniture. Fucking expensive and furniture. Oh man, furniture. The amount of money that goes into furniture blows my fucking dick off, bro. Even

I just have a couch. I just got a couch I got from Howard Vorton and that shit is like a pretty reasonable Toyota Tacoma. Like late 90s, but old nut. Get off me with patio furniture. It's ridiculous.

And then when you see what rich people like actual antique Victorian style area, turn of the century, what they're paying for furniture in saying it. And that's like and you realize, too, when you start to see that, like, oh, that's like not only are these people's real estate acquisitions insane, they fill it up with these things that are so expensive for no reason. I will never pay $20,000 for a lamp. You stuck. I mean, if you start getting into like, I don't, I don't give a fuck what it's been auctioned. There's something called the badminton chest, which went for $36 million at auction. And it was created in 1726. And it took six.

I mean, it's an impressive chest. It's crazy, but it's $36 million. What's it hanging? Double D's? The big double D's. But like, how? How? It was made in Florence and it was believed to have belonged to the Duke of Beaufort.

I better know. For $36 million, I better know it belonged to the Duke of Beaufort, dude. I like that Ian goes straight to the badminton chest. I think David is just complaining about design within reach. I feel like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I don't want to pay $5,000 for a couch. But also, $50 million is real too.

What's that? The cloud couch or something that rich people all love to have? Oh, that TikTok couch? Is that a TikTok couch? Yeah, the TikTok couch. I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds like I might have to get it if I were a billionaire. It also pisses me off because in the last year, I had to re-up on furniture. That's where this all comes from.

I went to, I got, I'm not going to lie. I got, I got tricked by a great salesman. I'm not even going to say his name. He's on TV in Colorado all the time. Always selling furniture. He's holding baby white tigers. He seems like a good guy. Did the whole living room for like 800 bucks.

I'm living. It lasted a year. Everything lasted one year. It all broke down. Wait, was that the couch that I've been in? Or did you have, you got a new couch in the last three months? My current one is good. Like it's made, it's like, but no, this was when I was at the old spot on Logan.

Okay. All right. I'm sorry. I need to know more about this guy who sold you the couch with the baby white tigers. John Elway, man. John Elway swindled him. He's a Colorado legend. I just walked past the CU Denver business school. His name's on the wall all for fucking selling trash. That's because he's selling you a couch a year. What do you think? Yeah, of course. But nobody cares about the little guy anymore well you

gotta you gotta start to think like you paid money for that couch but you also paid to bring deon sanders to the university of colorado like part of that yeah that was worth it that's working out lil wayne was here jake jabs never brought lil wayne to casino and i'm scared of saying his name because he could ruin me. He's got shoes. His name's out of school. Yeah. I was thinking of the Restoration Hardware Cloud Couch,

which is like $6,000 for a couch. But that's the hot couch right now. Yeah. Restoration Hardware. I believe in New York, it's one of the fancy uh furniture places where there's like a restaurant on the rooftop that's cool yeah it's like one of those things yeah but i'm i'm sorry i hate to keep going back to the guy whose name i i think you don't

want us to say but like yo this guy there's his google image search results is uh is a is a is a badminton chest of content. Holy shit. Yeah. Also, I should have known, right? There's a chimp. He's posing with a chimp in here. Why would I trust this? Look at you. You see this guy. I thought this guy was going to give me he had to bring a white tiger

in to make the furniture. I don't want to make it air about again. Just put his name in the chat. I'll say his name. You say his name. Oh, yeah. You're not. I put his name in the chat. I'll say his name. You say his name. Oh, yeah. I'm not in SAG. I could definitely say his name. I don't think that's why I wasn't doing it.

No, you can say his name. I'm not going out. You can say it. Jake Jabs. Jake Jabs. The CEO. The CEO of American Furniture Warehouse. Bro, you bought a fucking couch from a guy named jake jabs thinking it was gonna work out gang of shit ian come on i bought a gang i bought a

living room and a dining room and you know what it looked incredible looks like such a brick holy buckets oh my god look at this guy he looks like he he looks like Lee Corso he was on South Park probably there's an image of him on South Park oh anyway good stuff man oh wow here's a whole South Park episode I mean he's very famous out here

Jake Jabs I bet Jake Jabs in the 80s was having some cocaine sex dude just based on the looks of him I bet he fuckedabs in the 80s was having some cocaine sex, dude, just based on the looks of him. I bet he fucked that tiger. For hours. Furniture, before we get off the topic, you know, maybe spend a little bit. Somewhere in between Jake Jabs and restoration hardware is probably the sweet spot as for what we should be paying.

But furniture, like framing a picture, is one of those things where you're like, why is this so expensive? And I understand the value of it, right? I understand why it retains value. I understand the artistry of it. I think along with architecture, it's a form of art. It just seems like such a wild thing to commit so many resources to. A couch is the thing. Like, again, it's the theory of spend money

on what you're using the most. And so a couch, you'd think, is the thing you would invest in. Except, so I live in New York City, right? And so it's really hard to get big couches into doorways. Bad couch territory. So I bought an expensive couch that I was very proud of. Again, an investment piece, like a big purchase for me. And I couldn't get it into my Brooklyn apartment.

And so I had to call a guy whose job is listed as couch doctor, which means he shows up, he takes a chainsaw, he unstitches your couch, chainsaws it, and moves it in in two pieces, and then reassembles it inside of your home. Bro, I've heard about that. I bet Adam did that. Terrifying. Truly the most terrifying experience I have had as a homeowner is when I hired the couch doctor to chainsaw my couch.

But shout out to the couch doctor. You're happy with it, right? I've heard good things. It works. Yeah. The patient lived. The patient lived. I was not sold.

Our buddy Adam was telling me about that. I was like, no way. And then I guess you can't even tell. That's crazy to me. Well, there's no like certification. There's no like this guy started couch doctoring. You know what I mean? You just got to trust I mean at Jake Jabb

school of fine furniture you gotta gauge the handshake feels like a couch doctor handshake alright I'll let you do it time for my third pick and I'm gonna take collecting celebrities yeah dude

oh yeah for sure like trying to weasel in somehow to be able on the be on the same level with a celebrity just because you're rich it's the one it's like the one thing they can't buy really is like that is that kind of like no matter what you think of a celebrity that kind of like there's that effortless charisma in of everything and like so i won't i won't say which celebrity just in the interest of but like it was jake jabs it was jake jabs well you put it in the chat i don't know who you're talking about we put in the chat well i was watch this is gonna it's gonna be a picture of me and jake jabs he pulls up i know what you mean though like a billionaire can't be

bradley cooper oh sure i don't want to i don't want to air him out because this is like a but like i'm i know a celebrity who like who it gets like jeff bezos bezos bezos fucking jeff dude will bring him over jeff to his house just to like have dinner they're not friends those people have nothing in common and he's not the only like billionaire who does that. There's like this circuit of free exchange where like these billionaires will have celebrities over and then they get to say they're friends with billionaires. And then the celebrities get like, I don't know. I imagine like investment advice and like access to their yachts and their vacation homes and all that stuff.

And they just like, there's this free exchange of like celebrity and billionaire access if i'm being dead honest yeah i would be i'd do it if i were a billionaire i'd be guilty of this i was just gonna ask as a celebrity what is the what's the consequence if you don't like what's the worst well now they all own these media companies so you have to it's like if it's the right celebrity like if jeff bezos asks you to come over for dinner you have to it's like if it's the right select like if jeff bezos asks you to come over for dinner you have to go because also he owns amazon prime that's right all of your all of your uh iphone charger cables arrive four weeks late if you don't agree to wear a jester's cap and dance for jeff bezos if you ever want one of those little tripods to film yourself doing something ever

again the next day you go to that dinner. That shit's coming. So like, and also if you're a celebrity I mean, I'm going to dinner at Jeff Bezos' house just because I got to see what that looks like. I want to see the place. 100%. 100%. What kind of couch does that guy got? I want to know the answer. Also what if I get an iPad when I walk in? I was like

you know, what if I'm like, oh this is cool and he's like, take it. You think you don't have an iPad if you're getting invited to Jeff Bezos? Everything's better when it's free. I'm just saying it'd be tight. It'd be dope. Yeah, I can buy an iPad, but I don't want one. I want Jeff Bezos.

Give me one. Are you guys familiar with the character? This is a sports character, Michael Rubin. Do you know who that is? Oh, yeah. So Michael Rubin is former part owner of the 76ers. He knows who he is. Like an NBA mythological character

because he's this guy who founded Fanatics, this sports merchandise company. But he now hosts what seems to be the hottest party every year in the Hamptons. It's an all-white party.

And this past year, like Leonardo DiCaprio was there. Kevin Hart was there. All of these... Lil Baby was there. James Harden was there. Joel Embiid was there. Kevin Hart was there. All of these, Lil Baby was there. James Harden was there. Joel Embiid was there. James Gordon was there.

James Gordon was there. It's like a jump scare in the highlight video. But truly, and then there are the just like old rich guys who are just like lingering around dressed in all white.

And this feels like someone was like, you know how we'd like to have celebrities over to like just dance for us at dinner? Let's have a party where we get the best celebrities to dance for us at dinner. And that's what the white party is. And it feels exactly like what Ian's describing. Yeah, for sure.

It's such an odd, it is another one of those things though, where you're like, yeah, money can't buy it all. No, you can't be Bradley Cooper no matter how rich you are. You can't. You're just not going to be Bradley Cooper, man.

There's no surgery. You're going to be a dork. Think about all these rich dudes except for Richard Branson. They all just seem like dorks. The genes just, it's like you have billions of dollars.

Your genes can't fit. It's a great point. Why aren't all of these weird billionaires we're talking about hotter? That feels like a massive indictment. They try. I don't want to Is Richard Branson not hot? He's pretty hot.

He's sexy. Yeah, he's sexy. Okay. Probably the hottest on the curve that you're describing. I feel like he's top tier hot billionaire. Zuckerberg's kind of hot right now because he's all buff. He's kind of attractive right now. I don't think that's i don't think that's right no no you're calling wait ian's calling mark zuckerberg a butterface is what i'm hearing oh he is yeah he is he's got a nice body

right now doesn't he got buff i'm not saying good i'm not saying he's a good guy i'm saying he got good guy aside i think he might be a better guy than he is a sexy google google mark zuckerberg i know what mark zuckerberg looks like right now he looks like a sexy android doesn't he still have baby bangs he's a weird looking dude sexy android baby bangs these are all my singles that are coming out you're airing airing out all my shit yeah i looked at it i yeah i mean you know you still got android eyes dude it's not the baby bangs do throw me off now that it's pointed out yeah he's got baby bangs it's not hot you can have a hot body and baby bangs like maybe i don't know what's cutting edge right now maybe you take me to hell's kitchen you see a lot of hot dudes with baby bangs i could be wrong yeah that might be it

i might yeah maybe he's out here getting his hair cut at the same place as Paul Mescal. He's just like such a goober though, right? Are baby bangs like a Caesar cut? Is that what's going on? What do you mean baby bangs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I imagine it's a cousin. A little Caesar's cut, as it were.

It's a little Caesar's cut, dude. It's a Detroit Tigers. Found them from a Michigan couple I heard. It's a Jim. It's a... Oh, no. Jim told me it was on Cleveland. Damn. Sparky Anderson cut, bro.

There we go. Sean Jordan, time for your third pick. All right. So it's got to have quotes around it, but climbing Mount Everest. Oh, yeah. But it's got to have quotes. What do you mean quotes? Oh, because of all the help, all the assistance

and you wonder, and I was looking I was digging around a little you still have to physically get your body that's pretty wild to get your body up there in any capacity with all the help, it's like come on man, what are you doing yeah, you have to like tense your body

while they strap you to the back of a of a experienced climber. People carry you up. You have to like shiver a little bit and control your You have to put a harness. You have to be harnessed to a local. You can't even you can't poop for hours. I know you can poop in whatever you want. You can't

poop for hours when you're on some feedback. Can you poop on Everest? Can you poop on Everest? Your poop freezes halfway out your butt when you poop on at the top of mount everest if you poop it freezes halfway out your butt you know what i love is getting a new fear i didn't know i was gonna have and you have a little that's exciting a little poop butsicle and uh yeah if you have that all the way down to base camp then you get a staph infection and normally it kills you yeah normally wait can you poop on everest or not what do we you probably can't i did you ever believe that does someone

ever tell you that if you pee in certain places it'll freeze while it's coming out and you believed it i believed it when i was a kid that it was like i feel like growing up in south dakota would have made me believe that yeah anyway i've heard like spit freezing before it hits the ground but i never heard p like freezing the second it comes out of your wiener. Was that what you were led to believe? That's what I was led to believe. These are what all the questions you ask Sherpas as you're hiring them to take you up Mount Everest. So, I've heard about the poop that freezes in your butt.

Yeah, what if the poop freezes before I poop it? Is it that cold, bro? What's the most frozen poop you've ever seen? Does it get higher every year because of all the poop on top and so it makes the peak higher? It's carrying you in a baby Bjorn

and you're like, so about the pee that freezes. Because I got to go. Does someone carry it? Mount Everest now is like, it has a huge litter problem because of all the people and all the oxygen tanks right like the images are super depressing it is it is the it's the ultimate i think to sean's point of like instagram versus reality like reality it's it's

so sad why do we just put we're trash trashy, right? We just can't... It's like we got trash on the fucking moon. It's just... What are we doing? We're trashy. We have such a huge trash problem. Yeah, we're trash. Everywhere there's trash all the time.

The ocean is full of it. Yeah. Oh, man. This is so depressing. I wish I could look this up. Yeah, I didn't want to bum everyone. I know it is tough. You're not bumming anybody out.

You didn't do it. You haven't climbed Mount Everest yet. When you do, you're going to do it all natural, dude. Nude. Yeah, naked. You're going to do it big natural. What are you doing? I'm lumbering up Mount Everest naked.

There's like lines now. With a bag of recyclables to stuff all the garbage into. Is it getting any less dangerous to climb Everest? Because so many people are doing it. Are they finding better? I don't know. Are they setting up higher base camps? There's a certain point where you just can't live, right?

You have to summit and come back down in one day at this certain point. Is that getting higher with technology? You know what I mean? No. I have no idea. Pablo? I feel like whatever the answer is, it's trending towards worse than it used to be.

Always. Always probably, right? With global warming, is it getting easier to put the base camp higher and higher? Because it's warmer. It's like 65 and something. Yeah. And that's why they're doing it?

Oh, what if we just stumbled upon that's why rich people are accelerating global warming so it becomes easier to climb on here to climb everest bro now if i'm being dead honest and i think the folks deserve it if i were a billionaire this might be something that i were shooting for i would i was gonna say i would you would i could totally see you doing that but i would want to do it with as much integrity as I could still muster. Like with as little help as I could get without dying or like doing permanent damage. I don't know.

You'd be the first guy to kickflip up there. It'd be interesting to entertain. It'd be sick. Have someone carry a skateboard up there for me. Or have a helicopter just get it up there. I like the idea of complaining about the litter problem

and then leaving a skateboard. Yeah. Leave a broken skateboard and shambles up there. Stomping on it because you can't land, you can't grind a fucking oxygen tank

that was left up there. And like, and yes, I could, first of all, and three logs of poop. I'm going to load up before I go. Big steak at base camp.

Three poopers. You guys got any steak? Your third and fourth picks. Ooh. I'm going to load up before I go. Big steak at base camp. Free pooper. You guys got any steak? Pablo, tell me your third and fourth picks. Ooh. I think I got to go with having a secret apocalypse bunker. Oh, yeah. Ooh, yeah. I didn't even think of that.

I was reading an interview with Sam Altman, the guy who is behind ChatGP with Sam Altman, the guy who is behind ChatGPT and all that, the foremost AI tycoon in this Atlantic piece. And it was just sort of casually snuck in that he has an apocalypse bunker full of water and basically farming resources

for when the thing he builds ultimately, obviously, kills all of us. And I was like, I really buried the lead on this one. I would have led with, guy who invented AI has apocalypse bunker. I would have clicked on that a lot sooner. It's like, oh, I always keep a hotel room at the embassy

suites because I know eventually I'm going to scream at my wife. And she's going to kick me out. What an insane, what a terrible... What else? I mean, in general, wouldn't insane, what a terrible. But also, I mean, it just in general, wouldn't it be kind of comforting to be like, I do got a spot.

Yeah. I mean, I want a friend who has a spot. I mean, let's be honest. We all need a billionaire. I got someone to go for a year. You know, like we got a lot. My wife just,

we just started filling up jugs of water. Like we have probably, I don't know, 40 gallons of water in the garage now. It just makes me feel good it's just a half you know and like she's talking about getting a bug out bag and i'm like yeah yeah all this i'm on board with the ring of fire you should have all of these things you live like in a you know like a place where earthquakes can happen

but there's like a fine line between that and like a bunker in new zealand with a private landing strip which like a lot of these people have i don't know about a bug out bag but i have like some things i got some things in my nightstand that i could take and run away and start a new life yeah like if right now you were like you got to get out of here i have a collection of things i would do i remember remember when, when COVID hit, I took out like a thousand bucks or something and put it in the nightstand. I'm thinking as time went on, I was like,

what's a grand really good. If, if shit, if it goes down, what's it, what's a grand going to get me? Also, is it like,

is money what you're thinking about? What would happen? Well, that's what I'm saying. Initially I was like, be what I would. Yeah. I don't, I should've Initially, I was, but I'm like... I don't think money would be what I would... Yeah. I don't...

I should have got a bunch of MREs or something. I don't know what money is going to get me. I have an attaché case, three gold bricks, a pistol, and five passports, right? Don't we all have that? Yeah, we...

Something similar. I am woefully unprepared. Wait. Without... Again, I don't want to pry too much, but what's in the nightstand, David? You mentioned you got some stuff. Not a bug-out bag, but a bug-out nightstand.

What you got in there? A kidney, a butterfly knife. Just like if I had to go on the run. Like what IV? Just like things that would... A grappling hook. Things that would help me. No, not even just like...

Like what are they? Some stuff is always going to retain value. Things that would help. Regardless of what... See, I like the idea of not wanting to say what it is because you don't want your house to be raided for the thing that won't decrease in value. Yeah.

That's what I get the sense is happening here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got an idea. You're talking about Nikola Jokic rookie cards, right? Yes. As long as you keep it in Denver, you'll be alright. That price isn't going down. Even when the world ends, people

will think back fondly of the 2022 or 2023 World Championship. You need something to remind you of the better days. Yeah. Yeah. It's a thumb drive full of my NBA top shots. It is nice to have David as a Nicola Jokic rookie top shot on a thumb drive and a $15 gift certificate to the John Elway steakhouse.

And neither of those things are losing any value in this brand new world. Also, full collection of McDonald's Grimace glasses. He's also got incriminating photos of Jim, Jake Jabs. I am worried he's going to get me after this. Although the Jake Jab Emporium, his empire, the warehouse, a literal furniture warehouse would be an amazing place to set

up in a post apocalyptic landscape. Oh, for sure. You can write all for firewood. For one year, it's not worth anything else.

When that's the best year of your life, you're like, man, this isn't too bad. And Pablo, we're going to get to your fourth pick right

after this short break. This episode of all fantasy. Everything is brought to you by policy genius, policy genius. I'm going to hit you. We're going to talk about some life insurance stuff real quick. Now, 40% of people with life insurance wish they'd gotten their policy at a younger age. Of course you do. I wish I'd done everything at a younger age. That's neither here nor there. Policy Genius, essentially, it just helps you get the life insurance you need fast so you can get on with your life. With Policy Genius, you can find life insurance policies that start at just $292 per year for $1 million of coverage. Some options offer same-day approval and avoid unnecessary medical exams so i have life

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on self-care routines, some stuff that's non-negotiable. Some stuff like you can't... I got buddies, they can't skip leg day. Myself, my schedule is completely packed out with hanging out with my daughter. You try to pepper in work in there, it's really hard to find the time for those things that I want, that self-care stuff. I like to walk a lot. I know that sounds ridiculous. And I don't know what fun means, but I do like walking. I love to skateboard, but it's hard. I got to drive to the park. I got to get warmed up, which takes your boy a gentleman's half hour these days because these gams ain't what they used to be. But I know that's what makes me happy. And it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you don't have any time for yourself, it can weigh on you more than anything else. Non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever in that situation. You need

to set time. Get it like I keep saying, get a new set of ears on it. If you're having a tough time finding time for yourself, if you just talk to someone, you say these things out loud, you will realize that there is time. You can make time for yourself. You just have to prioritize it. It happens. You can talk to someone, get a new set of ears on it, and they will just guide you through the path. Therapy helps with everything. And if you're thinking of starting, go on and get better help a guide you through the path. Therapy helps with everything. And if you're thinking of starting, go on and get BetterHelp. Try it. Give it a shot. It helps for learning positive coping skills, setting boundaries, all these things that are extremely important. It's all online. It's convenient, flexible. They suit to your schedule. Go on and

fill out a brief questionnaire. You get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for zero additional charge they got you back uh never skip therapy day with better help visit betterhelp.com slash all fantasy today to get 10 off your first month again that's betterhelp.com slash all fantasy and we're back welcome back to all fans say everything already in progress we're having a lot of fun uh before we get to pablo's fourth pick sean Sean Jordan, Sean S. Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. Where can people see you do stand-up comedy?

One date right now, November 18th, Omaha, Nebraska. I will be at the Tiny House Bar. Two shows, limited tickets, like 50 bucks. Are you going to be at the Tiny House or are you going to be at the bar? I'll be at the bar. You can still be in the Tiny House. I'll be at the bar. The show will happen. Come to that November

16th. I'm excited about it. I've done stand-up in Omaha in like a decade. And then I'll be in Vancouver with Ian at the end of November going through to December 2nd, House of Comedy in Vancouver. That's it. Be excellent to each other. Cool guy jokes at us on Instagram. No longer

on Twitter as we've discussed. Where can people find you doing standup comedy? When does this come out? August, or October 26th. Isaac, am I right?

Something like that. I think, I think I'm right. I think it's October 26th. Oh, well, tonight, you can catch me

in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Yeah, boy. What's up, baby? Boss's Comedy Club. And tomorrow and Saturday,

you can catch me at Sisyphus Brewing in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And that's the end of the tour. So I'm really, thanks for coming out and supporting by the rest of the merch. And the hour's probably pretty good right by now. It's not, you i think it's probably pretty good by now my name is ian carmel ian

carmel on twitter instagram tiktok uh you see me at the house of comedy mancouver bc november 30th through december 2nd with sean jordan and then in aust then in Austin, Texas, December 8th and 9th at the Vulcan Gas Company. Happy Hanukkah. Then happy Halloween right now. And a pre-ordered t-shirt swim club, which I think you'll be able to do right now. My upcoming book that I wrote with my little sister. Oh, I'll be in Portland in March. Tickets for that at the Revolution Hall are on sale right now, March 23rd.

More importantly, though, Pablo Torre is here. Pablo, where can people frequent your wares? Pablo Torre finds out as a podcast on all the podcast places, whatever the fuck you like to listen to podcasts on. Also, it's a YouTube channel. Pablo Torre finds out it's free. Just know that whenever you click subscribe,

my daughter gets to go to college. So let that just fill your heart with incredible guilt. And please subscribe. Thank you. I'm going to do it right now. Let's all do it right now. Everybody listening? Everybody listening to this podcast? Go ahead and do that right now.

Give it a countdown. Send Violet to college. I'm going to be applying pressure to... I've been getting a lot of heat for youtube subscriptions so that's something that's coming up in the future wait what a lot of a lot of recommendations that i should right now it's not about you no it isn't it's about subscribe to pablo tori finds out hold on i'm about to smash it right here subscribe baby smash that smash i felt so good.

Smash that. Smash that subscribe button, everybody. Smash it. I'm doing it too. Pablo, while I subscribe to your YouTube channel, which everyone listening to this should be doing, what can we get from your fourth pick here? We've been talking and gesturing towards various pieces of merch,

and it occurs to me that billionaires really love wearing inexpensive clothes. And it's weird. They love a hat without a logo. Oh, yeah. Bill Gates apparently wears like a Casio watch as if we don't know what's up with Bill fucking Gates. Yeah, come on.

Come on. What are we doing? Mark Zuckerberg with your t-shirt? Yeah, I don't think you're me. Yeah, at that point it's... I'm not like, oh, you tricked me. At that point it's

offensive that he's not wearing an expensive watch. It's like, fuck you, dude. We know. Our culture is not your costume is what I feel every time I see Bill Gates. our culture is not your costume is what i feel every time i see bill gates yeah it's absurd man like they all dress like uh like when marvel superheroes are off duty you know what i mean it's all that like random jacket unaffiliated hat kind of thing and it's some like some people it's the quiet luxury. Like when Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing like nine hundred thousand dollars sweatpants or

whatever. But like a lot of it's just like, come on, at least be interesting if you're going to take up all of our resources. That no logo hat shit. I know I'm not like the pinnacle of fashion, but you are the pinnacle of fashion. Just came out. Come on. Just announced. Come on. It was just announced.

Come on. The no logo hat shit. Get off me. Get off me. It's awful. Even if you have a stitched in logo the same color as the hat on the side, I'll give it to you. Nothing on it? I mean,

I know a lot of guys who I know a lot of guys who but it's like it's not the guys that billionaires are even cosplaying to dress the guys that i know who have like flat bills with no logos on them you know what i mean it's like it's not they're not trying to be like those guys at all. Cause those guys are all on probation. Yeah. Like Steve, Steve jobs,

at least like picked a uniform, at least that, like he had a uniform and he stuck with it and he wore that thing every day. And I think it was also like, I think it was like, uh, is he, Oh, what's that designer's name? Is he think it was like uh is he oh what's that

designer's name is he uh oh is he miyaki miyaki i think was like his his turtleneck or whatever like at least he was you know what i mean he was not pretending not to be like a billionaire visionary like the shit zuckerberg wears it's just like i don't maybe this is stupid but i'm like you have a billion dollars man wear like a suit look interesting do some i don't maybe this is stupid, but I'm like, you have a billion dollars, man. We're like a suit. Look interesting. Do so. I don't know. Maybe that's stupid.

Maybe that's like a stupid thing to want. Do you think it's a level of you are you are who you were when you got here, though? Because like, but that's why it's offensive, because you're not you're definitively not who you were when you got here anymore. OK, I wish you okay stop lying about it you feel like he's almost cosplay class playing as himself there's ways to dress there's ways to keep those like core values and still up it a little bit like up your game a little bit you can do that you can buy like a nicer t they make nice t-shirts i'm not saying that you should

everybody has to have nice but it's doable it's some kith or something. I mean, they make stupidly priced t-shirts. Go buy a few. I'm fine with a billionaire doing that. Yeah. I don't know. It's just... They do. I'm getting way too mad about something I never cared about.

Get piffed. Get worked up, dude. How much does a kith t-shirt cost? Fucking lot. A lot. Really? Like 90 bucks. Kith.

Yeah, at least. Dude, look at those kith jackets. They're like three grand. It's so crazy to me. I can't do it. Excellent pick. Sean, time for your fourth pick. I don't know if this is real.

I've heard. I'm sure it's. I think it's real. But Uber helicopter. Is that real? Uber voyage? It's real, right? I'm told it's real. I'm told it's real, right? I'm told it's real.

I'm told it's real. I can't confess why I'm asking if it's like theoretical stuff, but like. Well, I don't think that billionaires use them though. Because I think they have helicopters. Their own helicopters. Yeah. Then I'm picking traveling by helicopter. Oh, there we go.

Okay. There we go. Which is real. Your unread brain cannot even contemplate those. There we go. Your unriched brain cannot even contemplate those. I'm so stupid and poor that I thought they had to

just use a helicopter sometimes. Like I use a car sometimes. Helicopter travel. I don't know. I guess I'm taking this one out of billions, but it's right there. It's right there in the name.

They do that shit, right? There's helicopter pads on all these big buildings like in LA and stuff, right? Yeah. What's that city? Isn't there? Sioux Falls?

You're going to be there October 26th, man. Get ready to see helicopter travel. I'm thinking about Sioux Falls. They're flying people from a heart attack to Flandreau to Sioux Falls every day in a helicopter. There's a city in South America. I can't remember which city. I was reading about it, though, where they were like, the wealthy people don't really touch the ground. Like, because it's so dangerous on the ground.

And they can just take a helicopter from, like, massive building to massive building, which is insane to me. In a lesser scale, I had a buddy of mine was talking about he was trying to buy a place in San Francisco. And he said the only places that you could really buy that were in his range, which was a lot by the way, but there were like the highest condos in the Tenderloin. So he's like, you get this crazy condo, but then you have to have a car like in the parking

ramp and you just kind of never are in your neighborhood. You just, you pull in, you park, you're in your building, but you're never on the ground walking around where your house is. Seems like crazy to to me is he talking about like those old converted sros that's bugged out because like the tl is ah that's the neighborhood if you're gonna live there you should really be boots on the ground i couldn't imagine not being in my being like a part of no i can't either no i mean i know it's i know it can get gnarly, but like, it's not always.

I feel like most, like, I know there's a couple, but like, a lot of neighborhoods that people are scared of or whatever, they're not always gnarly. It's not like. I mean, it goes down in the tenderloin, though. I've seen a lot of wild shit in there. Right. You just, well, anyway, just the point is, it's like,

it'd be nuts to not be able to go outside your house. Like, I'm going to walk to the library or something. That is children of men shit. Yeah. Is what you're describing. Seems nuts. Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Like the zombie hordes outside. Yeah, it's crazy. Helicopters. Billionaire. I went to pee, just in case anyone heard me not talking for 30 seconds, which is a record. I mean, not to get morbid either they but rich people

love this so much that it's like a lot of them have died doing it oh that was that thank you for saying what i was too awkward to say like i'm afraid me too i'm afraid of helicopters now it seems not worth it because even i mean like kobe bryant of course but there's also like one of the guys who like owned arsenal or some other premier league team like died in a helicopter crash like jeff bezos has been in a helicopter crash like there's been like it happens a lot it seems like the least safe form of aviation absolutely and that's even if you have like a double engine two pilot situation, it still seems like not safe. Do you remember

like, it was like a month before Kobe passed RIP, we were on this podcast and somebody was like, would you take a helicopter? And I was like, fuck yeah. And you were like, no, I would not do that. I remember that, man. I had the opportunity. We were like, no, I would not do that. I remember that. And then. I had the opportunity.

We were like, we shot something with, oh, I forget who. I think it was with Tony Romo, weirdly, on the Late Late Show. Classic helicopter enthusiast. Classic helicopter. But it was like, there was like a tight window to shoot. And he was in Santa Barbara or something. And it's something weird. Is that by Santa Barbara at all?

Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara. something. And it's something weird. Is that by Santa Barbara at all? Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara. Santa Clausica. And he coordinated to get there quick and then get back. And they took a helicopter and I was like, I'm not going to go on this shoot, even though I would like to meet Tony Romo.

Yeah. It just scares me. Are there like not as dangerous, like the Grand Canyon helicopter tour? Are those like less dangerous? Well, there are, but that's not the one that's not as dangerous. That's a dangerous one? Yeah.

I think like the safest scenario is like you want two engines. So if one malfunctions, you have another and two pilots. So if one has a heart attack, you have another. Sure. Most of you're not getting that on like a Grand Canyon helicopter. If I'm a billionaire, I am. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to take my AWAC out there to the bottom of the game.

In your Chinook, just hovering. Yeah, my Chinook. With my fucking Rolls Royce in there. Drive my Rolls Royce on the dried up Colorado River. I'm part of the problem, baby. Time for my fourth pick before we get to our lightning round. With my fourth pick, I'm going to take submarines. If we're getting more of it. Well, it's,'s it's not it is though it is that want that interest to do these things i would have it if you had the means like i would

definitely want to go see the titanic who wouldn't of course you want to i don't know that i would have really like you wouldn't want to i don't realistically you i would have really like you wouldn't want to i don't realistically you might not do it but you don't want to no not really it's like i was saying man i i it just doesn't do that much for me like i i can wrap my head around it i i just don't going somewhere where you're not like you can't go would be the thing it's i know we might talk about the other one too but it's like it's so interesting to think about here's what it is is there are so many places on land that i can travel that are incredible and difficult to get to and i can have an enriching experience that like i don't know would i rather go to like a some crazy remote

city then go to the bottom of the earth to see some shit that's been down there and just like rust it out when you say it like that always always i would always rather go somewhere and interact with people there's no good restaurants on the titanic right right right right right i would like to see like a giant squid though yeah that's true just like you know one of those things those like yeah like i want to see a squid fight a whale i'd like to i would pay to see that as a billionaire absolutely but we should have that in arenas we should be able to see that like why can't i see a sperm whale fight a fucking archie toothis in like the coliseum in rome let's get that let's keep going emperors would have wanted let's keep going I want to see Nate Robinson

fight Muggsy Bogues to the death why not let's keep we're just we're just paying stuff to fight stuff I want to see George Mirison

fight Sean Bradley yeah I want to see George Mirison fight a sperm whale we should make it a bracket riding a giant squid yeah man how many hippos what's like the hippo versus rhino We should make it a bracket. Riding a giant squid. Yeah, man.

How many hippos, what's like the hippo versus rhino? Like how many rhinos do we have to get involved before it's a fair fight? Because I know hippos got it. I know, but so like, and it wasn't just these recently departed billionaires on the Titanic. They've like, I mean, James Cameron's been obsessed with like going in submarines for a long time. Paul Allen, may he rest in peace, the dead owner of my beloved

Portland Trailblazers was a huge submarine guy. He said, he has this quote, it turns out if you go a thousand feet down in the ocean, it's really dark

and the animals are really strange. But if you put on some Pink Floyd, it's fantastic. That's a great Yelp review for submarines. Yeah, it really is. It really, that's my guy right there.

Not trying to play Pink Floyd songs in front of people, just jamming it while he's, I imagine, stoned. I hope so. Getting down there. Down there. Down there, dude. Down there. Down there.

I don't know. It's this, I think when you're super rich like this, you are constantly chasing exclusivity and another thing about rich people that i've noticed is that they only care they never look down they only like their competition is only ever other rich people and that's why it's never enough because there's always a bigger fish you know like yeah so if they can go in a submarine and their friend has only ever been to like Kuala Lumpur. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the other thing. They're not racing us. We're not. No, they think they're broke. They honestly think they're broke. Like there are billionaires who think they are broke.

Fucked up game. Uh, David, time for your fourth. And then your final pick a lightning round. Uh, winemaking. Winemaking.

Oh, yeah. Like buying an actual vineyard and pulling all these people to make a mediocre wine that you only serve at your parties. Are you guys watching what we do in the shadows this season? No, I'm not caught up. There's a joke that Colin Robinson has in there. He goes, you know, the quickest way to become a millionaire is to be a billionaire and buy a winery. So dead.

Yeah. But you get a great, you get a tremendous like tan, right? Your skin begins to take on, I imagine, like an oily sort of a glow. Yeah. You're off the earth while also being... They're not there even, right? Like, they're not... I think they go get...

I think it's one of those things like sailing where they like to show up for all the fun parts. Oh, like they'll stomp a couple grapes and then go back to the farmhouse. They'll taste it when they're like, we're ready to move it from the tanks to the barrels. They'll go and like do that where they,

you know what I mean? Where they do that weird, like they drink out of like a beaker. Let me make sure it's ready. Yeah. You're stepping on the backs of the day laborers you've hired to pluck a grape.

Like, right. Exactly. Delicious. Yeah. Or you scream at them, fix this. One of the two.

Yeah, for sure. It's another one of those things where you're like, yeah, just like, what a whole bunch of shit to do to fucking. They only grow wine grapes in beautiful places. So you get like a piece of land somewhere beautiful and you get like your Christmas gifts are sorted for the rest of your life.

Like you just send people a case of your wine. Is Oregon turning into wine country? Somebody told me this the other day with, I hate to bring up the global warming game, but somebody said that like Southern Oregon is turning into like the new sort of wine country. Well, Oregon's been wine country.

Hasn't, I thought it was all like Northern California. No, well, well, Northern California as well. But like the Pinot, uh,

if you like Pinot Noir, Oregon is, is where they grow the best Pinot noir grapes in america but then the waste country i didn't know that and then southern they grow a lot of stone isaac our uh producer slash resident foodie and drinky and drinky sippy sippy as i say yeah i'm gonna have fun in denver i'm a big drinky so's going to be a good time. You're actually right, Sean. Because the climate is changing in Oregon,

the types of grapes that can grow in Oregon are also changing. Pinot Noir, which is kind of a dreary weather grape, was the dominant grape that was grown in Oregon. However, since the sun is coming out more, they can grow more robust grapes like a Cabernet, for example. Big buff grapes. I don't know why I want to giggle when you describe every word in there. There's a lot of words

that make me want to giggle. Robust always makes me want to giggle. I didn't know there were seasonal effectiveness disorder grapes. There are SAD grapes. And David, your final, time for the lightning round your final pick actually influencing politics yes they do they do love that like actually doing it like for real

uh time for my final pick i mean it's sitting there i'll take it going to space i got the ocean and i'm taking going to space yeah I get it. I wouldn't. I would not. I wouldn't go myself, but I get it. Sean, your final pick. Sex fantasies that you thought were impossible. What? That was the one you didn't want to expand on? Yeah.

You know it. You know that that is crazy. I know. I know what mine is. I don't know what yours is. It involves George Mirison as well, right? It's George Mirison, you and a giant squid. It's every day of my life right now, currently. Fuck you!

Yeah, well, what do you want me to say? Shut up! I just say if people do stuff and, you know, it's easier with money. I'm just saying. Pablo, your final pick. and you know it's easier with money I'm just saying I'm gonna go with holding the trophy when you win a championship before any of the players on the team oh that's a good one

what a slap in the face that is you motherfucker you wasn't with me shooting in the gym and you just sit up there in the box. They always take it. They always take it first. They're always offered it. I'm always waiting for the guy to be like, no, fucking, you know, LeBron James did this.

And no, it's never, it's never, never that. It's always me. Yeah. Me first. The guy whose dad was a slumlord. He gets to hold it before the person who's like life will be shorter because. That's right. Yeah.

Oh, that's crazy. So funny. What an excellent pick. What an excellent draft. Isaac, it is time for your producer pick. My producer pick is going to be donating enough money to a university that they name a building after you.

Yeah. Shake Jabs. Yeah. Shake Jabs you. Chick Jabs! Chick Jabs work out there. Chick Jabs. Chick Jabs School of Law. Because of all the lawyers he's had to employ to defend him against his shoddy furniture. Chick Jabs Attorney at Paw because of those

white tigers. Allegedly. All that stuff we said about Jake Chabbs? Allegedly. All of it. That's an all-encompassing blanket term. That again was the Isaac Lee producer pick brought to you by Swordfish.

What? The movie and the delicacy. Oh, are we trying to monetize the producer pick segment here i'm trying to i'm trying it out right now what do you think so far that was the swordfish sponsor swordfish if you want to eat fish but you'd like it to feel a little bit more like a steak get yourself a big old hunk of swordfish advertisers if you want to if you want to sponsor this segment please hit in up it'll be that electric yes i will do it'll be that electric if i can do that for swordfish imagine what i can

do for your brother uh to recap the draft david you went first and you took camel breeding and racing big game hunting with no hunting skills furniture winemaking and influencing politics but for real i went second and i took the America's Cup, just sailing in general, horse investment, collecting celebrities, submarines, and going to space. Sean, you went third. You took insane memorabilia, buying islands, quote, climbing Mount Everest, unquote, helicopter, and sex fantasies. You know it's true.

Pablo, you went last, you had the hot corner, and you took having a shitty band that you make perform with other very real bands, still being on Twitter, having a secret apocalypse bunker, inexpensive clothes, and holding the trophy when your team

wins the championship. All amazing picks. We want to hear yours. Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcast at gmail.com. Make sure you listen to and also subscribe to Pablo Torre Finds Out everywhere podcasts are available

and also on YouTube right now. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon. Thank you for holding us down where you can get bonus episodes, mailbag episodes, auction drafts, exclusive merchandise, all of that wonderful stuff. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Shaslackity, the AFE subreddit. Shout out to super producer Isaac

on the ones and twos. You can also find his very tasteful nudes on our Patreon. He's extremely... We had Ann Geddes come out, and it's the first time she's ever shot nudes. He's in a peapod! It's Isaac. In a vineyardod It's Isaac In a vineyard In a vineyard

In a peapod It's It's It is sexual It's not not sexual It's not not I mean I am holding multiple grape varietals And explaining them to you

Yeah In the shoot itself He is dressed as a sunflower It is erotic It is erotic. It is erotic. Sensual also. Nipple-centric. It's very nipple-centric. Absolutely, yes. It is the part of my body that I want to accentuate the most.

As we all know. And we're proud of him, and we want that on the Patreon. And we want it to be accessible, but it's not free. It's not free. Shout out to Frankie Ocean, shout out to Sid the Dude, shout out to Haji Beats, and more important than all that Tune in again next week To another brand new episode Of All Fantasy Everything

Shacklackity that was a hate gun podcast