All Fantasy Everything - Weird Food Combos (w/ Miel Bredouw, Sean Jordan, & David Gborie)

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

We love weird, we love food and we damn sure love combos. What could go wrong? Hot off The release of her debut album Tourist Season Miel joins the gang this week to draft weird food combinations. Someone has a meltdown. Tune in!Episode Guest:Miel Bredouw @miel IG: @mielmonster Podcast: Punch Up The JamCheck out Miel's new album: Tourist Season.Sponsors:Manscaped: Get 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code ALLFANTASY.Feals: Become a member and get 50% off your first order with free shipping at feals.com/allfantasy.Support the Show:Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Deck yourself out in some merch at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: [e-mail] on All Fantasy Everything with Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. weird food combinations. Because how many times have you walked to your fridge, opened it up, looked at two disparate things and thought, maybe. Our special guest today is podcaster and musician, Miel Bredo. You know her as the host of the comedy music podcast, Punch Up the Jam, which can be found on the HeadGum Network. She's previously guested on AFE to draft birds,

rom-coms, vegetables, summer jams, parts of songs that give you goosebumps, and so many other great draft topics. Her new solo album, Tourist Season, is now streaming on Apple Music, Spotify, and Bandcamp. As always, joining us are my friends and fellow comedians, Sean Jordan and David Bore. Let's hear that beautiful theme music.

Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. The podcast that has graduated from reclining like a Persian kitty to now leaning on one elbow to control me. Like one of your girls, comma, French. I will, actually. Would you mind if I do that? I'm ready. I need a tasteful nude in my home. Absolutely. Yeah, of yourself?

Anybody. ready i need a tasteful nude in my home absolutely yeah of yourself anybody i would want i want the same pose but like i'm wearing a texas wrist rock with wrist watch you know what i mean with your dick wrapped i think i know what you mean yeah yeah you guys don't remember that the schwanz has felled over your yeah the schwanz is felled the schwanz is felled yeah the schwanz is felled oh my neighbors the schwanz is felled yeah the schwanzesfeld. Yeah. The Schwanzesfeld. Oh, my neighbors. The Schwanzesfeld, yeah. The Schwanzesfeld. Honey, the Schwanzesfeld are coming over. I can't say any of those words. Schwanz? Schweld?

No, you're doing great. Kvatch? Kvatch? You actually sound very good. Just say, get cockin' off and yum. Honey, we Schwanzed ourselves. Get cockin' off and yum. Get cockin' off and yum. I thought you were ruining it. Say it again. Get cockin' off and yum. Get cockin' off and yum. That's what I do on Saturdays. I get you were ruining it. Say it again. Get cocking off and yum. Get cocking off and yum. That's what I do on Saturdays.

I get a cock and then I get some yums. And then some yum. That's a Saturday brunch if I ever heard one, baby. Baby. Are you okay? No. What if I suddenly rebranded it as like a cock? Like I'm a cock comedian now.

I'm like, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I'll tell you what. If you did that, I'd tell you to wash your ass my friend i didn't think he was gonna do it but he did it from downtown i sneak him in another one another one get coffin get cocking off and y'all means go shit off a dock it's like a nice edition so oh i thought it was like don't shit in my home with your nasty shit. No, no. I think it's a dismissive.

I think it's a dismissive. Imagine that being a qualifier. Yeah, they're really nice. We have a good time. But like their shit's really nasty. Yeah, they just, he got his shit off the dock when they come over. Gross poop. I like you.

I like your kids, dude. Yeah. I just, you know, you know my wife's not cool about that. Come on, man. Your guy's poop is gross. got a level of you you got you got you got some gross shit it looks your shit looks like meat gravy i don't know man what do you want oh now i'm the i'm the bad one yeah yeah we've all been talking about poop yeah well we don't all have a dartboard behind us. That makes it worse. Yeah, that doesn't make it worse.

It's the imagery. It's the imagery. You can say poop and that's kind of gross. I didn't shit in my hand. When you say, when you shit in my toilet, it looks like that dog poop from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Like now. When you describe it so well. It's the evocative nature of it.

What a bad day. Oh, do you remember that VJ Caduce? We used to call taking a dump a Caduce back in the day. We were talking about VJs before. Yeah, that's why I kept, sorry, I should preface it. Pre-roll, and David dropped a Gideon Yago on us. That was fucked up.

It's going to take me like a week to come back from that, David. Gideon Yago. You guys remember Duff? She's a bummer now, I think, but Duff McKeegan? Or wait, that was the drummer for... That was the drummer for Guns N' Roses. There was a VJ named Duff, but it wasn't Duff McKeegan.

Kennedy's a bummer now. Oh, I thought... You remember Duff? She was in Dumb and Dumber? That girl was a VJ on MTV. Oh, okay. Yeah, she was also the drummer in Guns and Roses. Duff McKeegan was that. He's also the voice of the Seattle. Is it Seattle or LA? One of the airports.

He comes on. He goes, hey, everyone, this is Duff McKeegan reminding you that if you see an unintended bag to say something and you're like, what? Really? Yeah. Duff McKeegan. Duff McKeegan. It's insane.

It's in Seattle or LA. I feel like you are mixing some people up right now. I'm not. Or some like... I did. I mixed up Duff McKeegan and Duff the V-David. Something about the story is out of whack, I feel like. Did Duff McKeegan tell you to watch your bag at SeaTac once?

Duff McKeegan put a cigarette out on my back when I was five, but that's neither here nor there. I think you were right the first time. It's more there. It's both here, more there. It's that kind of podcast? I sound drunker than yesterday. It's that kind of podcast. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on the gram. Sean got a big-ass coffee on

real life. Yeah, man. Third one of the day. I'm out here, bro. Is this why we got shit on the brain? Are you okay? I woke up at like 7. I was so jazzed from yesterday that I just woke up and started walking around the neighborhood and just pounding coffee. I got this white hoodie on and I took it on a test drive like

I will walk and I will drink coffee and if I don't get any coffee on the hoodie it's meant to be. Sean got a white hoodie and it's working. It's working for him, right working i don't know i don't like i don't like a white hooded anything honestly it feels weird honest i don't either i put the hood on earlier and i was like no no no be honest well i'm serious and i say this all the time the guy in the white hoodie well i want to know if it's not good that's why i'm asking uh maybe tie

diet have we considered oh i went through my tie-dye phase of quarantine already, and I have tie-dyed socks, underwear, and white tees. And that white hoodie to be. Well, it's got a Spitfire and a Vans logo on it, so it's not old. Oh, I didn't know that. Both at the same time? That's here more there.

It's on the sleeve. That is here more there, dude. I didn't know it had a Vans Spitfire thing going down the arm. They're rolled up. That changes everything. My name is dr van spitfire dr van spitfire my friend remember like drawing oncology good to meet you remember the like the fucking little flamey head logo i feel like we all collectively we get the stussy ass and then

like drawing that flamey logo thing you're talking about the spitfire one yeah yeah they're like half water half fire guy we were all all like, I can draw that. That's World Industries. That was World Industries. That was Flame Boy and Wet Willie. Meow, meow, meow. Sean is still proper stoked on the Spitfire logo. I am.

You're mixing it up, thank God. You're thinking of... It's not Spitfire. I made a mistake. No, you're thinking of Flame Boy and Wet Willie. I thought for sure you're going to say spitting fire. You're talking about

me, my guy on my rap tapes. No, he still thinks it's well safe. It's well safe. It's a well safe logo, meow. It's proper. So he's still

he's still quite he's still quite chuffed. Oh God, Chuck. Jesus. John's got a way for me to promote. I don't know. We'll see. John's got a white hoodie to promote. I don't know. We'll see.

You know what? You know what? Maybe now that I know that it has that logo down the side, you can wear a brown hat with it. I'll say don't wear a brown hat with it. I'll tell you this. It's going to get mustard on it or barbecue sauce. It's just going to happen. With that attitude?

Yeah, well. You're spoiling pics, my guy. I'm a real. You put those two things together. Hoodie and barbecue sauce is my number one pick. Sucking barbecue out of a shirt? Shirts and barbecue sauce. I wish you guys could tease holding it.

You used to have to be married to do that until like the 70s. When we were kids, we'd sit in school, Smith and I, and we'd chew on our collars. That was a thing we did. Yeah, I used to do that. Did you? I used to do that. And our shirts were like. And the strings from the hoodie.

Oh, yeah. We'd chew on our sleeves, too. We'd like ball the whole shit up and just chew on our sleeves. I think we all had pretty severe oral fixations, it seems. Yeah, it was really weird. I used to chew on pens and pencils. Like, I'd chew the end of a pencil off raw. Yeah, I'd break them in half.

I blew a bunch of dudes. Then I just started blowing. Figured out you got paid to blow guys if you wanted to so i'd do that oh no no no no i wasn't in the no i just did an oral fixation thing is this how you upgrade your clive davis bit and to chomp my bit off my dick off oh i would clive davis not even clive davis chomped my dick off but if you want to start if you want to actually david geffen chomped my dick off that's exactly right which is is weird. Which is really weird. David Geffen will chomp your fucking dick.

Say what you will about Clive Davis, but at least he has the fucking respect to fucking rip your dick off. And it's like, if you're going to chomp the dick, chomp the balls. Like, what are you doing? I'm saying. Hey, hey. Finish the job. Nothing in this world is free. What?

Are you? Is this the coffee talking? You're not yourself, Sean sean i'm out here i'm wild today wi-fi at san francisco airport is free so checkmate checkmate checkmate checkmate bro feels like a checkmate bro are we talking about duff mckeegan's voiceover career that's right duff mckeegan actually did the the voice for either the seattle international airport or los angeles international airport telling you to check your bags or if a stranger left something unattended.

It was actually Duff McKeegan. Doesn't cost you a dime to hear that. Another free thing. The drummer for Guns N' Roses he was. If you want to hear that again, you guys subscribe to the AFE Patreon. That's right. If you call the fire on the mountain in Portland, Oregon, the Burnside location, you will hear Ian

Carmel's voice. Is that true? Yeah. I'm the official voice of our favorite restaurant. On Burnside, no less. The nicest street in Portland. The flagship, in my opinion. Wait, really? In my opinion, yeah. They had me record their message. Wow, that's awesome.

It's like, welcome to Fire on the Mountain. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter, Sean Cooter Mellon Jordan on Instagram. And then all this shit about Duff McKeegan. But it's Ian saying it. Duff McKeegan. Duff McKeegan. I'm out here.

David Borey is also here, for God's sake, sitting in front of a dartboard. You know, you can't keep a good man down. Coolguysyokes77 on Instagram. The G is silent on Twitter. Oh, yeah, all that stuff. Yeah. You know, Cinnamon Draws, a.k.a. Dr. Cinnamon Draws. Yes, sir.

You know, I got some peaches. There's not really much else going on. It's big. How many peaches did you get? Two crates. I'm not sure what the thing is. You got crates of peaches? Do you have a peach guy?

My buddy came to visit me and he went to a peach farm. Yeah. In LA? This is not code for cocaine. They can grow peaches in California? He drove down from NorCal. Oh. And he got some peaches along the way and some strawberries.

So you have a full cornucopia. Oh my bowel is loose as a goose this is some grapes of wrath shit yeah i because i was like i was asking you guys this morning what do i and i think it's just gotta be you just gotta smash peaches i've eaten a peach on the zoom already you know what i mean i keep my pits give them to my loved ones and if you want that pit you guys enter for your chance to win on the afp patreon yeah go ahead and go to the afp patreon you could win a peach pit that david licked go ahead and smash that like button bro go ahead and smash it we'll enter you in a free drawing for a peach pit bro speaking of thank you everyone who uh joined in for the live stream we had don't oh yeah thank those animals, Marissa.

They're lucky we did a live stream. I'm so sad I missed it. I wanted to watch it so bad, but then I made some really crazy choices at the hair salon that had me there for three hours and I missed the whole thing. Do you pull a knife on somebody? How crazy. There's a reason I'm wearing a hat right now. We'll talk about it later. Oh, take it off.

Can we see it please? Come on. Dump it out. I'll show you mine. Not on cam. Not on cam. Can't do that this time. We don't record this.

It's not recorded. Yeah, it's not on camera. We can just see it. Look at this nonsense. No, if there's no screenshot or recorded evidence of this, I will show you. I don't even know

how to do that. Okay. It's very short. Oh my God. I don't even know how to do that. Okay. It's very short. Oh, my God. She's got a monkey's butt. It looks fantastic. You look fantastic. I like it.

You can't really see it, but it is very bleached now as well. You look like you work at the water park, but only for the summer. Then you're going back to Brown. You always do. It's great. If I do this, I'm very 90s heartthrob now. Like Devin Sawa. Yeah, it's a big...

Yeah, we made a lot of choices. I went in for a bang trim. Bang trim. That's tails all it's time. I went in for a bang trim. I got a case of peaches. There's so going to give you the shits for the rest of your life. I'll be fine.

I'll be fine.'ll be i'll be fine coming through worse meal you have a cool album out you have to have a jaunty rock star haircut it's the only that's true i guess so did you just do the dog pound x's yeah boy speaking of which you interrupt me one more time and i don't care i'll say this on the fucking record right now i will flip out all right i understand i'm really sorry i will flip out i've seen him cocking my muffin what was it nope it wasn't that get cocking muffin that's what I'm telling you. Fucking cock and muffin, bro.

No, we're playing more picks, you guys. Cock and muffin was my second one. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Cock and muffin. It's complimentary shapes, too. It's cute. That's Dr. Cock and muffin to you.

It's Dr. Cock and muffin. This is my associate, Vance Spitfire. And we'll be operating on each testicle. We will be. Vance Spitfire hyphen we'll be operating on each testicle. We will be. Vance Spitfire hyphen logo. Of the Cleveland Spitfires. Miel on Twitter. Miel Monster, for God's sake, on Instagram.

I mean, listen, you guys, I mean, obviously, Punch Up the Jam. We all know it. We love it. It's my second favorite podcast. It's the only other podcast after this one. It's true. Ever existed. The two podcasts shakur uh but you have an album out right now called tourist season friggin friggin lay it on the folk oh i don't know you can listen to it if you want to or you don't have to if you want to feel some things you might enjoy it and if you don't want to feel some things you probably wouldn enjoy it. And if you don't want to feel some things, you probably wouldn't. And that's what I have to say about it.

I think it's fantastic. Can I ask a couple things? Yeah. Was it prompt? So did you write this like during quarantine or were you working on it? Like, has it been something? Yeah, I wrote it last summer. Okay.

Remember when I like left LA very abruptly? I do. I think I left right after we taped an episode, actually. It's been cloudy. You know, it's been cloudy in LA theA. the whole time you've been gone. What are you pointing towards? What are you? You're in Portland, Oregon right now.

What is it? What is that thumb gesture, Sean? I don't know. I'm pointing. I think L.A. is that way. What are you doing? I'm hitchhiking. I miss you guys.

I want to come back. Miel, since you've left, all the leaves are brown and the skies are gray. Oh, guys. Are you guys? Are you? Wait, Sean, you don brown and the skies are gray. Oh, guys. Are you guys? Are you? Wait, Sean, you don't live in L.A. anymore, right? I live in Portland right now. I mean, I've lived here the whole quarantine pretty much, but I just officially went and

got my shit. And then, David, you have the condo and Ian, you just bought a house. Like everything's different now. Yeah. Everything's different. It ain't. I'll be in that house a lot. I'll tell you that. you gonna get like you're

gonna get like games like like are you gonna get like we tennis and you're gonna get like Twister and Parcheesi and sorry Ouija boards, tarot cards, candle games we're weird Magic the Gathering Wait wait wait

Paintball games What is candle games? We're gonna make up candle games i know that was kind of funny can you to go back to your paintball thing can you imagine if your neighbors moved in and set up a paintball course in a normal backyard and like had the kind of dudes that came over and like Kyle Kinane end of the world type trucks with like ball gear and just got out and just had barbecues in the front yard. Oh, be real. Does it all the time? Be real. I need to tell you something.

I haven't told anyone this yet and i'm still processing it but i walked uh 170 blocks yesterday whoa on on 55th and 5th there was a convertible white rolls royce blasting i believe i can fly and like a couple people were like walking kind of close to it and it it seemed as if the driver was like waiting to turn but they just't, even though they could have about a dozen times. And so I was like, okay, so they're kind of just sitting there like soaking this in. And then I realized people were taking pictures with the driver.

And I was like, who is that? And I look, Tracy Morgan. Whoa. Just sitting there, just sitting there, blasting music with his kids in the backseat,

like inviting people to come take photos with him in a convertible Rolls Royce in Manhattan. Yeah, I feel like that all checks out. Yeah. Like now that you get it, you're like, of course, that's Tracy Morgan. But it was truly imagine stumbling upon this. Did you think maybe it was Jesus? I definitely was like, OK, I thought that story was going. Yeah, it was Jesus Christ.

Will you show us the picture of you and tracy morgan then please i didn't take one but i did take one of the the situation yeah let's dump that out let's see they got me facing i can't live a normal life i was raised but i gotta be down for the just sitting here blasting music wow that is the is over. In front of an Armani exchange. That's what happens. When you see Tracy Morgan in a drop-top Bentley, six more weeks of summer. Six more weeks of summer. Or is it like the fifth horseman of the apocalypse?

I don't know. We'll see. I think it's the summer thing. Yeah. I err on the side of good vibes. We all do. So I'm going to go with the summer thing. Tracy Morgan is a harbinger of good vibes, I think.

Yeah. Harbinger. We all do. So I'm going to go with the summer thing. Tracy Morgan is a harbinger of good vibes, I think. Harbinger. Harbinger. That's a fun word. If you're not going to promote it as heavily as I want you to, I will. It's an amazing album. It's so, so, so good. You made it with your, a lot of the music was done with your brother.

Is that right? Portland's own Henry Bardo. Yeah. Wait, Bardo? done with your brother is that right portland's own henry bardo yeah yeah wait bardo he goes by a different last name because uh our last name is quite hard to spell and frankly i think made up if i run in him in the street i'm gonna fucking bardo is your name bardo or brado i'm so brado he just spells it her name is milk bread dough yes Yes. It's actually meow. Meow? Meow brain brown. You are white.

Milk bread dough. Meow brain brown. Yeah, and so if you want to check that out, just type into Spotify meow brain brag and see what happens. Meow brain bro. Mastodon badussy foot. You're ruining more flavor combinations. Oh, man. Mastodon bad but does he foot? You're ruining more flavor combinations. Oh, man. Mastodon, but does he

foot? Oh, God. I tried to imagine all those things in one. I can't. You shouldn't do that. I can't do it. That's the reach of my brain, I guess. That's as far as it goes.

I could imagine the paintball thing I cannot see it I can't see it it's just so good if you like kind of like like melancholy dreamy sad girl pop kind of music if you like a king princess or something like that

you're gonna love a tourist season by Miel so fucking plug it in give it some spins for sure also if you like elephant style animals with the body parts of humans mastodon badusi foot what does it look like i can't tell on the same discover weekly me and mastodon well it's a very common a lot of the same playlists you'll discover something do your best to make a mastodon but a c-foot like do your best listeners please to make what you think that looks like and tweet it at us i want to see what's in everyone's

brain and then sean you can show us maybe just show us the tips i'll spray paint it on your new garage you keep talking like that get an only fan don't have a garage It's been converted into a pool house No it's where you're going to keep your dirt bikes Did you say pool house? I'm going to get a pool I might need to move back to LA This is fucked up This is fucked up

This is fucked up Sick shit My name is Ian Carmel Ian Car my name is ian carmel ian carmel on twitter ian carmel on instagram ian carmel on jewish uh pool uh pool fancier dot jewish pool cleaner jewish pool cleaner i'm the jewish pool cleaner and a uh churlish fool bringer and uh i have churlish i have nothing to promote other than there's a chance i'm gonna be the late late shows like andy richter so i don't know yeah i'm i have nothing to promote it may it may not it may not last forever it may not even happen we'll see but uh we're

the time this comes out we'll know by the time this comes out. Yeah. Can I say something? Can we have true sentimental hours for a second here? I'm so relieved to have you as a friend, Ian, for so many reasons. But one right now that comes to mind is that you have so many wins right now. And to know someone that has so many great things, it makes me feel like I have great things as someone who cares about you.

So I guess congratulations to us. You know what I mean? We did it. So sweet. What a great way to make this about you. Absolutely. Yeah, I'd love to center myself if at all possible here and say that your thing really is about me.

Also, sentimental hours. How do you feel about the Mastodon Badoozy foot? I'd like to get everybody's take, including Marissa's on this. Just like if we're getting real for a second, I'm in there like swimwear. I think it's great. Yeah.

I still can't see part, but I don't know about the foot. Yeah. But does he says foot without saying it, but you know, I do not agree. That's a, that's a,

that's a shit take. I think. Oh, talk about shit again, David. I said said it she's in rice bud now we are gathered here today not not to talk about podosi foot that's what the soldiers used to get in world war ii the ones that but they weren't fighting they would just get it sometimes trench mouth trench mouth French mouth. But we are gathered here today. This is an awkward transition.

I'm just going to talk about puffins for five seconds in between. Cute bird. I love looking at them. They live on little rock outcroppings. You know, they get all dressed up. It's a very formal bird. I love that. I appreciate that.

I don't feel like. No, I'm pausing. I'm pulling an audible. We did not, not like address enough how exciting that is for you that's amazing that's true yeah like we just went right past it there's a chance it still might not happen but you'll still know at this point still if that's the crazy thing the win is that like you're you have the ability to do that like the fact that people recognize your value in that way. That's so exciting.

I agree with you. Who cares? It's pretty rad. I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm leaving the idea. Can I be team It Happens?

I would like it to happen. I'm on team It Happens. And then we're going to be on team Watch What Happens live later. Just getting hammered with Andy Cohen. Skis and Shots

was my third pick, you dick. Fuck, shit. Cock muffins. Ah fuck shit cock muffins oh no cock muffins uh we're gathered here today to draft into what a bizarre weird food combinations weird food combinations that we enjoy that we enjoy uh is that is that how the skateboard brand is pronounced enjoy or is it they don't have the mental capacity to call something enjoy so unfortunately it's enjoy

but it's fantastic and i don't know why i said mental capacity they're all amazing who run the company enjoy i love because i've got now it's because i've got a mental capacity bro like yeah their capacity is mental bro they went to university proper proper trainers they're all fit so proper fit bro proper proper can you can you try something for me sean will you say chappy has a book in that accent chap as a book yeah okay so that is south african you're doing a south african accent Shit. I don't want to be. It's like half American, half New Zealand.

It's South Africa. She got to the bottom of it, didn't care that you were at the top, Sean. I don't know why you put me in that corner. She made you say, Chappie has a book. That's the funniest thing to say to have that. I don't know why you framed me like that. Oh, my God. I walked right into your spider web. Damn, son, where'd you find this?

Man. Oh, Chap, what an odd South Africa reference. That was top tier, man. Do me a favor and say, I think you freaky and I like you a lot. In my bruv? Mm-hmm. I think you freaky and I like you a lot.

Thank you. I think you freak, you know, like you will. Thank you. I did need that. Similar to Ian's wins, I need this from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot. That means that's an L. You're giving me an L? You just gave me an L?

Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. It's just the different things we have to bring to the friendship pool. I'll bring that. And a white hoodie with shit on the sleeve. You can leave the white hoodie, I think. Oh, man.

Treacherous waters. All right. What a day. Hell yeah. Let's get into it. I love to sail a choppy sea. I'm from Oregon. Oh, yeah.

I'm from fucking Oregon, bro. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from Oregon. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota.

I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota.

I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota.

I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota.

I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota.

I'm from South Dakota. I'm from South Dakota. I'm from south dakota who's fucking blowing it they can all fuck they can all what is it what shit off a dock get cocking off in the arm everyone at sturgis can fucking shit off a dock get cocking off in yam like i'll mess it up get off in the arm get cocking off in yam get cocking off in yam yeah there you go everyone went to the sturgis rallies get cocking off in yam you fucking morons ruining it for everyone god i ain't hard to find either go ahead and talk about it with me he's gonna be wearing the white hoodie you'll see the dude in the white hoodie bro yeah it'll be up because he's waiting for his friends that's right shit drives me out of my mind my mother lives in that state and then like all these fucking dentists

are gonna wheel their motorcycles from vermont to go hang out in sturgis for a week and just get their families fucking sick it's killing me anyway i'm with you dude god it's so frustrating yeah i hate dentists how is that dennis man they ruin everything take your mind off of it for about uh an hour what what the first half of what we do next draft and weird food combinations now we the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, P-I-P-R-C-S-Rs played between the three of you, and we throw on shoot. Here we go. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh.

Oh. Shit. Damn it. It's another beautiful day to be a David. Me, bro. It's a beautiful day to be a David in the neighborhood. Me. You, bro.

Me. I don't even want to go first. I'm going a beautiful David in the neighborhood. Me. You, bro. Me. I don't even want to go first. I'm going to put myself in the middle. Well, before. Before you make that decision. Before you make that decision. Oh, before I make that. Because it's a bold decision.

I would like to remind you, it is a serpentine draft. And what is that? It's like if you get a, you go to get a fountain drink at like a fast food restaurant. It's like a suicide where you go like coke diet coke barks root beer orange fanta sierra mist mountain dew powerade water then you go backwards powerade mountain dew sierra mist orange fanta barks root beer diet coke coke then you want some more of each so you go back diet coke barks root beer orange fanta sierra mist mountain dew powerade water but then you decided it's not full yet and you just go back powerade mountain dew sierra mist orange fanta barks root beer diet

coke coke and just kind of keep going until your cup's full and you get painful diarrhea my man fucking nailed it you nailed it that time i don't like it when you write them down yeah you could tell he was reading though oh no i can't read we've established that so much so there's no way that i was reading that because i don't know how to do it freestyle situation man okay but he had to read the sodas which i just didn't want to mess the order up yeah i get that i respect it can i ask have you ever seen um a soda fountain that has sierra mist and orange fanta damn it see i did freestyle the sodas and i was wondering if I was messing Pepsi Coke up. And Powerade? Like, where is that?

Like a Taco Bell, a Taco Bell cantina? All the Coke machines at Powerade. And I thought it was funny that I threw the water in there. I thought you guys. Taco Bell has the Pepsi drinks. I thought you'd respect the water because nobody puts water in a suicide. But I did. So, bro, I always respect the water, dude. That's like a little like shitty arm, like a little tiny one armed bandit.

Yeah, I got all my negative stuff that I'm going to say on sturgis so i won't call that arm shitty i will call it you gotta hit it's the soda machine's clitoris of the machine yeah you gotta do clitoris code on it to get the right amount of water ah clitoris code i like it a big win for sean sean wins too that's the thing i don't want to be the new Andy Ricker on court. That was the best serpentine description I've ever heard. Ever. Thank you. In my life.

Hopefully David finally understands what I mean when I say it. David, it means if you pick fourth in the first round, you pick first in the second round. With that knowledge firmly in mind, what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to go meow. David, Sean Sean Ian. Hot corner! He screamed from his pool house. It sounded like you were in your pool house.

Hot corner! You sound like you're selling something. Hot corner! Scream it as loud as you can with no microphone i got a bag full of dead bees who wants to eat a bag full of dead bees i got all your baby teeth i bought them from your mom and I'm selling to you at a fair price. Who wants a bag of their own baby teeth? I really do, actually.

You sound like you were like on the end of my block and I'd be like, I have to see what that guy's selling. He's selling a bag of your own baby teeth, of course. I need to see if it's real. It's real. Oh, I thought it was a bag full of bees. No. It's both. I started with one and then the other. Dead bees and then baby teeth. Again, we are blowing through picks here.

Oh, God. I'm sorry. God, I keep doing it. Well, and our goal is an hour and a half, by the way. Speaking of picks, we're going to get to your first pick right after this short break. This episode of all fantasy, everything is brought to you by schedule 35. Now, microdosing is an absolute game changer. I have never heard a bad word about it. And like we said, this episode of all fantasy,

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that has ever existed in fact the only audio that ever existed except for miel's album tourist season available now on spotify apple music and bandcamp oh thank you i love this i love having my own hype man built into a podcast appearance i'm i'm happy to do it i'll follow you around and do it in that in that bag full of dead bees voice that's my favorite voice that you could do it might be that that killed me like the hardest in recent memory when you were the superhero when you were bees we do now meow you have the first pick in the weird flavor combinations that we enjoy draft and that first pick will be i don't know if i want to play strategically if i want to try to seem the most

outrageous or if i just want to like be loose and have fun but i'm leaning towards loose and have fun so i'm gonna throw abandon into the fireplace i'm going to choose something that is not did you did you comprehend that sean listen of course i did let's just move past it of course i know what you're saying i think you can hear me try not to say caution in the like i literally started to go caution to the wind and i was like i'm not gonna bring it up it's too soon well you know you know it's odd not a lot of people know this and i feel like i actually cracked cracked this wide open the case i might as well have found hoffen when i did it but kosh is short for caution and then so what you do is i'm gonna throw caution to the wind it's sort of like slang you know if you or anyone you know has a friend that struggles with caution to the wind,

abandon into the fireplace is a great suggestion. It's great. Yeah. It's much less. Much more accessible. Much less vague. Yeah. So I'm going to go with one that's not that crazy and not that unpredictable. It's just something that I eat at least every day.

And that is cheese and apple. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah and apple. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I kind of maybe could parlay that into cheese and fruit at large because another favorite of mine is... No.

No. I can't. No, no, no. No, no, no. You get one. Don't try to corn something else in there. I just feel like it's not interesting if you guys are like,

cheese and a different fruit. What do you like? Like a Red Delicious and a slice of American? Yeah, let's specify a cheese and a fruit here. No, I think this is Red Delicious thing. I think it's come up before and it's never not startling to me that that's your favorite apple. They're fucking, they're not good. They're grown exclusively to be given away at motels.

Yes, or spas. They're grown with cellophane on them. I haven't eaten an apple in weeks right now. I'm peach rich. I had an apple today. I like a green apple. I'm not going to have an apple until I'm done with these peach futures. I'm a pink lady girl.

Pink lady? And then what kind of cheese? Well, for me, it's going to be a vegan cheese, which is already kind of, I think, for most people, like, that's not cheese. But there are several varieties. For me, I love a chow original. That's the best vegan cheese, in my opinion. But an aged mature cheddar from Violife is also fucking incredible on like a super thin slice of a pink lady. Also, the trick to apple slices for cheese, just now that we're on the subject.

Don't try to cut it in half and then do like slices on the diagonal. It's not fun and you only get like 10 slices. The cheese or the apple? The apple. Okay. You take your apple and you slice the flesh off in like a way that's going to leave the core square, right? So just like chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk.

Then you make those slices flat, flat side down on your cutting board and then just go across the whole thing like parallel strokes. And then you get these beautiful thin slices of apple and you can get like 30 for a single apple what's the process on making vegan cheese well a lot of people use cashews as a base which is good you can do that at home with like a vitamix but it would be more of like a spreadable cheese and like a firm sliceable cheese i like that if these are spreadable or sliceables the two i mentioned are firm like like that. That's what I was going to ask. If these are spreadable or sliceables. The two I mentioned are firm, like sliced cheeses. That's what you were going to ask.

I was. I fucking seriously was. But it's mostly just like, it's just like that stinkiness with an apple. I want a stinky apple. So much of this doesn't sound like we're talking about food if you just take sound clips.

Let me get that stanky apple. Mostly what I'm really drafting here is I want stink and I want apple. From your lips to God's ears, sister. I love a sharp fucking like so sharp you could fucking like. Yeah, the stinky shit. Defeat the Yakuza with it. You want to cut glass. You want to cut glass.

I want my mouth to taste like it for like an hour after I ate it. I want to burp it the rest of the day. I love that. All right, guys. I'm trying my best, but you're not making it easy. Hard to do this podcast with a boner, huh, David? Trying to fucking grow up here. That's your first pick.

Y'all pay our frigging taxes. God damn it. I'm a grown man. I have a townhome in the valley i can't be talking about burping it up i think it's great in like by itself just like sliced apple sliced cheese make a little two apples cheese in between you got a little sammy you put apples and cheese both between pieces of bread that's a delicious sandwich or a crepe stuffed with that melted ass cheese i got so lazy the other night you know what

i did flour tortilla cheese apple quesadilla with apples in it it was so good you were speaking directly to sean jordan with that that'll come up again so don't worry we're gonna talk about this tortillas we're gonna come up this whole list is tortilla based the listeners can't know this but i've i've somehow finagled myself into fully laying down now to do this podcast ian looks like he's like at a sleepover nestling into saving private ryan or something like they started watching i'm just closing my eyes i'm just closing my eyes don't go to bed you fucking coward i'm not i have a headache we used to we got in like legit fistfights over kids going to sleep when we didn't think they should.

That's horrible. Those were the kind of sleepovers I was at. Oh, I also would add to it a cheese sandwich with apple butter on it. Oh, the apple butter. Now that's... A pie, an apple pie with cheese in it. No, what are you doing? You're picking apples and cheese.

I'm taking apples and cheese. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I took apples and cheese. That taking apples and cheese no no no I took apples and cheese that includes an apple pie yes it does I may be lying down but I'm not taking this lying down absolutely not the pie does not count

it's apples that you're talking about you can choose a different flavor pie with cheese. What about the dough? What about the cinnamon? What about the sugar? There's so many other things in play. The core thing you're picking up on is the apple.

It's the apple and cheese that make that work. The core thing? What about crumble? Okay, if I wasn't right, then you would choose a pumpkin pie and cheese. It's the apple that you want.

Why are you just saying picks? You guys haven't even touched my list. You said pumpkin pie and cheese. This is insane. Two different things. My list is sitting in a bunker that you want. Why are you just saying picks? You guys haven't even touched my list. This is insane. My list is sitting in a bunker and you guys are on the surface, so keep going. This is insane. You do not get...

I will instruct the jury. I do. I instruct the jury. What is this, 1968? I instruct the jury to disregard. Throw up a poll because I'm wrong most of the time, but I do feel like I'm right jury to disregard. Throw up a poll. Throw up a poll because I really, I'm wrong most of the time. I'm going to throw up on a Polish poll.

But I do feel like I'm right this one time. With your behavior. I'm not going to be able to throw up a poll for months after this shit. No boners. No boners. That's what that means. All right. Fine.

Fine. Whatever. It's your podcast. Your rules, my guy. You get the apple and the cheese. It's enough that you get like various different kinds of cheese. Why don't we delight in the fact that you also get Brie and apple, which is a delicious flavor combination?

I think, honestly, it behooves all of us to give that to me so that we have to think even more outside of the box. Don't come in here throwing behoove around. Yeah, also don't make it sound like you did some crazy shit the first one that's what i'm saying we gotta think out uh you picked i think the tamest box i know i know that's what i'm saying but then what's going on here i'm drunk on just an anger my legs are crossed so tightly right now oh yeah it's astonishing i didn't think we were gonna get this combative on this episode but but I am excited

that we are. We're going to go ahead and move on to the second pick right here. And hope not to echo the atrocities of our past. David, time for your first pick. I'm obviously picking ice cream and french fries. Damn it. Yeah. So fucking good. Which flavor do you like the best? I was really hoping I'd get it. Oh, well.

Whatever Frosty is and french fries. Yeah. Wendy's Whatever Frosty is and French fries. Yeah. Wendy's Frosty and Wendy's French fries. That's how you got to go with that. But in general, you know what I mean? I'll do like, you know. Dairy Queen.

It's all fast food stuff. I'll do a curly fry every now and again. Yeah. Have we? The Frosty is kind of a malted chocolate flavor is what I've decided. You know, they're thinner now than they used to be. And they're real fluffy. I had one just like a week ago. yeah have we the frosty is kind of a malted chocolate flavor is what i've decided thinner now they used they used to be and they're real fluffy i had one just like a week ago they're real real fluffy and they're dope dude i mean they've always been dope but like you're

calling fluffies bro can i ask a question david may i have permission please yes i know that everyone's really mad at me right now and i'm not mad at you. I love it. I understand. Me and myself. I'm not mad. I'm just hurt. I want to watch the world burn. I get that. I get that. And I apologize.

And I have sinned and I will continue to sin. My question is, when you have your French fries, do you dunk them into the milkshake? Have you ever poured the milkshake onto the fry? Oh, like a reverse. Like poutine and eat it with a fork? Like a poutine. Like a milkshake poutine. No, no a reverse. Like poutine and eat it with a fork? Like a milkshake poutine. No, no, no.

I don't like to take the milkshake out of the vessel that it was served in, but that's just how I was raised. No, I agree with you completely. The milkshake poutine is fucked up. Yeah, I got to keep it in there. Doesn't totally make sense, but I think we all agree it is true. No, it's just that's a hard thing. That's a hard thing.

The beach doesn't come to my house. You know what I mean? I don't have the beach. Yeah. I hate sand in my bathroom. Everybody knows that about me. How would we feel about, like, a Ben & Jerry's flavor that had chunks of French fry in it? No.

That would be tough, I feel like. Because the thing about the French fry, it has to be fresh, fried, and hot. Yeah. It, like, Ben & Jerry's just with chunks of potato in is a terrible idea yeah that irish fuck is it cheap jameson flavored ice cream with potato chunks in it eat up sean patrick jordan they call me yeah i'm in french fries and ice cream that's my pick that's a great pick i want to eat that shit this draft's gonna make me fucking hungry

yes it is i got some peaches if you want some when you were first informed about french fries and ice cream were you hesitant or were you like i was first informed about it i think it was like the same way i learned how to read they gave me the letters i learned how to build the words you just tried it one day yeah i don't think anybody ever sat me down and was like hey here's how you spell monopoly i just sounded it out you know yeah absolutely i'm i'm just struggling to comment on the monopoly thing because i feel like that's a hard word to spell personally. I was a good reader from a young age. I didn't know how to spell my middle name until I was like,

well old enough to know how to spell my middle name. I was like, nobody's surprised. His name is Sean, Sean Jordan. What are you spelling it? Like Jason Patrick. It's all suave like that.

Just for the sea. You're like're like i'm sorry i don't care that's how i'm spelling it or the q was there like a y in there did you draw a picture of patrick ewing yeah yeah all the all of them it was a real i had to take handwriting lessons they were like these aren't these aren't letters that's a picture of patrick ewing's face i don't know how you did that but you need to draw a p it's just letters just letters. You kept drawing numbers. What you need to do, Sean. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I didn't mean to interrupt. I interrupted you, sir. This is your castle. I am merely a peasant. I will. Don't give it

to him. Blip out. Blip out, bro. Sean, it's time for your first pick. Okay. So, does a food with a condiment count as like a weird pairing? Well, let's hear yes okay well here's here's my first one since we already talked about tortillas uh tortillas with cold alfredo like cold ragu alfredo sauce that's it yeah yeah i'll allow that yeah absolutely that's

weird as fuck it's i knew it oh my god dude i was a kid. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm telling you. I'm telling you. It's the, so you know the ragu I'm talking about. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. That is a, that is brutal. It's so good. That is setting off my gag reflex.

It is so good. If you just get a can of ragu alfredo sauce and get those like orange tortilla you know that i forget the name of them but they're the orange toward the they come in the orange uh wrapping or whatever mission yes you get the mission tortillas and just dip it in it like you're checking oil yeah yep cold what you do is you open it up and you know use a little bit because if you put it in the fridge without opening it i think it's weird and then so you put it back in the fridge and then come home at night tortillas and alfredo sauce is so good can i ask you a question you can when was the last time you ate that sober uh reason more recently than you think. Six months ago. I need to ask a question. I fully could not hear anything

for the last 30 seconds. So then, so I missed everything you just said. Did you say you chop the tortillas up? No. Put them in a bowl, cover them in alfredo sauce and leave them in the fridge

until later that night? No, but I would. That sounds amazing. No, that's not what I said, but that sounds great. That's, you know, you're talking about ripping chunks of cold tortilla

and then dunking it in a jar of cold Alfredo. Yes. So you roll it up like a blunt and then you just dip it like you're checking the oil and it's so good. I'm having a vasovagal response genuinely. Try it. I mean, maybe not you specifically, Miel, but

anyone out there who's questioning it, try it. It's fantastic. You get like the four cheese, you get the garlic. Talk to your questioning it, try it. It's fantastic. You get like the four cheese. You get the garlic. Talk to your doctor and then try it. I know that's not like that shouldn't be so gross. That dick was raw as hell. I think it just caught me really off guard. I've never even heard anybody reference cold Alfredo before.

It's good, dude. I'm telling you. I'm going to sashay into the fray for a moment and say i would try it yes you try it it's i you're alone you gotta be alone you're not doing in front of people you're alone so bad for you but like none of this is gonna be good none of mine are gonna be good i know i know yeah yeah yeah like a brie and apple situation i mean that's good for you but But like, yeah, okay. I like Alfredo. I like eating a cold Alfredo.

Like if an Alfredo, I pull it out of the fridge and take a bite. Alfredo. You really? So you also can do the cold Alfredo thing. I'm not into that either. I don't mind the cold Alfredo. That's the part that's grossing me out so bad. Yeah, me too.

That's the cold Alfredo. That's the hard part for me. It's thicker. It's very thick. I'm sure it is. But it's like a creamy, thick, cold thing that's not sweet. That's fucked up to me. Ooh, it's me. It's thicker. It's very thick. I'm sure it is. But it's like a creamy, thick, cold thing that's not sweet. That's fucked up to me. Ooh, it's not.

It's savory. Get it all over the kitchen. Cold and creamy and savory are not meant to be. That's three Venn diagrams. Well, I'm telling you, man. If you like Alfredo sauce, you'll like this. If you like burritos. you like this.

If you like burritos. If you like waking up startled at about 3 a.m. because of what you ate at 11 go nuts. Night terrors got you up looking for a late night snack. What about eat terrors? I think that's going to be the type of food that gives you night terrors if you eat that after 8 p be the type of food that gives you night terrors.

If you eat that after 8 p.m. That also must come out crazy. Worth it. All worth it. It's great. I get that in premise, we're just describing a different execution of a pasta. They're effectively the same ingredients. It should not be so gross.

And for some reason. Yeah, but if you're on your way to the gym and you're in a hurry, you just grab. What? Jim and Alfredo. I'm going to tear an abdomen. If you got to get to the gym in a hurry, just grab a tortilla shell, slather that motherfucker in Alfredo sauce

and shove it in your mouth. Wait, a tortilla shell? You mean like a hard taco shell? No, no, like a soft tortilla. Get a soft tortilla. Do you know that this is like an image that circulates online of like a way to gross people know that this is like an image that circulates online of like a way to gross people out and it is a hard taco shell with pasta alfredo inside it like

that is a thing that is known to be like an inherently disgusting thing and now we are is leaving a soft tortilla out for two weeks away so yeah i'm in i could do that too do you think that's how we get taco shells don't Don't push me into dumb guy corner. No, I don't. It's like wines being turned, like grains being turned into raisins. Don't you push me in a dumb guy corner. I'll have to smart my way out. They hang them over tree branches.

Oh, man. They should hang you over tree branches. You got to lose custody of your kids, and then they all turn hard. This is fun. That's the only way you end up eating that meal is if you lose custody of your kids. You don't do that when somebody else who loves you lives in the house. Yeah, you can't have that air custody. You're sneaking off and doing that late at night.

You do that in front of your wife-to-be. You look her in her face, and you dip a tortilla in a cold thing of fucking alfredo sauce that is insane that's she doesn't even have to get a lawyer you really want to see my peaches you got to shake my tree my friend i'm out here i don't want to see your fucking alfredo peaches your cold congealed ass peaches hi my name is alfredo peaches i'll be performing your surgery today that's that's like going to dr to get butt shots i don't want to bypass from dr alfredo peaches i'll go ahead and die yeah man i don't need hair plugs that bad dr alfredo peaches totally a hair plug doctor oh my god all right we have to move on we have to move on it's time for my first pick

and with my first pick i'm gonna take again this is i don't think anyone else was gonna take it but i have to take my favorite i've talked about it before on this podcast always timeless a champion for the ages peanut butter and dill pickles yum yeah yeah that's good I don't know if I've ever tried it. I think you'd like it. But you have tried Portia and cold out. Do you realize how fucking crazy this is? I don't know what house keeps Alfredo in the fridge. I haven't seen that since like 1995. A lot of people I've heard on this show keep Alfredo in the fridge.

Because Sean's been on every episode. You said that we had to move on Ian but unfortunately we cannot and we will never here's a question I happen to keep talking about it I just had to get my pick out there for time reasons do you take like a full spear and dip it in peanut butter or are you talking like a sandwich there's different ways to do it my man you do with the tortilla

and the Alfredo sauce you're gonna not be into the rest of these picks, my friend. I think I am. I like to make pickle coins, lay them out on a sandwich, and then put peanut butter on the other side. Sometimes I will cut the pickle into a hot dog bun shape and then just sort of put the peanut butter into that as though it were a lobster roll or

something like that and then i'll eat that sometimes if i do want to get nasty yeah she's got some peanut butter me i've got some peanut butter i just remembered i have cornichon in my fridge i'm not sure it's gonna work the same but i figured we should try i think it was did you say corny corny sean corny sean? Corny Sean. Corny Sean. That's redundant. I was going to say, do you only do dill pickle? You ever hit that with like some bread and butter or whatever? I've said it once. I've said it before.

I consider sweet pickles to be the greatest deception that humans have ever pulled. Yeah, you don't like sweet pickles. That's what that dashboard confessional song's about. Okay, listen. I got a corny Sean. I got some peanut butter on it. I'm going to try it. Here we go.

Oh, that's really good. Yeah! Oh, that's really good. Okay, take the blindfold off. That's actually a tortilla shell with Alfredo sauce on it. Pickled Alfredo! Oh, God. Remove the blindfold, please.

Peanut butter and pickles. I don't need to talk a lot about it. It's just, please. Peanut butter and pickles. I don't need to talk a lot about it. It's just fucking delicious. It's so good. If you haven't tried it, try it. Shout out to Say Sue Carmel on that one. I got that from the broke, been in Portland for several generations side of my family. Not the recent Jewish immigrants, which is interesting because it's a pickle-based confection.

My second pick I'm going to take is this is kind of a weird this is both flavor and mouthfeel this is a big mouthfeel one and i don't this is more they eat one than the other and then i really enjoy that combination before you swallow get them both in yeah it is hot sauce and coffee oh i'll so i'll go with you a little bit because and i i think this is i think this is okay i always put hot sauce in my au jus which is damn near coffee so i'm kind of with you no no no no it's roast beef coffee it's roast beef coffee. It's roast beef coffee. What the fuck are you talking about? That's all it is. What the hell is wrong with you?

Sean. You tried to walk that past me? Uh-uh. No. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm sorry. You were trying to get my back, and I appreciate that, but not like that, dude. That's what you say.

I don't want you on my team. Roast beef coffee? How's you and coffee are similar? Why they're wet and hot yeah because they're brown is it just because they're brown brown wet and hot oh my god kid what is happening we're having a controversial day no that's not you can't just say the sky is red and then you're like you that's like you're saying falsities back to ian's pick which is a lot like i was you but that's neither here nor there we're gonna come back to this it's back to ian's pick i don't i don't know can we go okay so hang on i have so many follow-up questions. Roast beef, coffee.

Roast beef and coffee because they're both brown. Okay, great. I think I get that. Ian, how do you- Not roast beef, au jus. Okay, no, but that is- Roast beef is not like coffee. But au jus is the juice that was rendered from the beef. So it's really roast beef juice.

She means it's the drippings, John jew is ian he's my i am our jewel yeah and then ian yeah how i'm assuming this is in morning time morning time it's usually at a breakfast at a restaurant are you just opening it and shooting it back i have at this point put hot sauce in my coffee and enjoy it. But my favorite way to do it is like you put you got some you got some sort of egg dish or something and you mess it up with a ton of hot sauce and you swallow it. And then like you still kind of have that residual hot sauce feeling in your mouth. You still taste the hot sauce. And then I drink a cup of coffee and it's like I just love it. I love the way it tastes.

I love like the hot and then like a really hot black coffee. What kind of sauce? Like a Tabasco or like a Sriracha? I prefer it with like a, it's best with a Cholula rather than a Sriracha. It's more of a, I like a vinegar based wet, loose hot sauce. Yeah, I'm kind of over Sriracha for a while. Well, you only, Cholula you get at restaurants almost exclusively because it's so goddamn expensive at the store that I never, I always go for the cheaper ones.

So when I'm at a restaurant. You've got Cholula money. Yeah. Cholula? That's like $2, Sean. It's like $5. It's expensive. Where do you shop?

Season? New seasons? I shop in other people's garbage and I leave money there. Freaking. Hot sauce, hot sauce and coffee. That's my second pick. Sean, time for your second pick. Anything can happen.

We all waited with baited gag reflex. Mine are so crazy compared to all of yours. Okay. This is fucking truly anarchy. This one isn't as insane, but I love it. I feel like no matter what I say, David's going to flip out just because it's... I'm not even looking at you.

Just say what you're going to say. Meatless Hormel chili with sour cream and cheddar ruffles to dip it. I don't know that that's that weird of a combo. That's not crazy at all. No, you don't think it's weird? I don't think we need to take it. I think it's out of bounds. I agree.

That's a normal one? That's a bean dip, bro. All right. All right. Chips and bean dip? Okay. Here's what I'll do. I'll go to Otto's, which is right on the corner.

It's an awesome place for those who don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's a place in Portland. And then right across the street, there's a plaid and I'll get get cheetos and so i'll put cheetos on the hot dog with just mustard no again i don't think we can allow that that's weird like that's like frito dogs like that's yeah okay that's like putting chips on a sandwich kfc mashed potatoes with the kfc honey and i will say that mine was pretty wait no yours is but No, yours is, but that's still a weird, it's an established weird combination, but like

chips on a, I don't know, that's savory, savory. That's okay. Now, Sean's last thing he said. Say it again, Sean. The KFC mashed potatoes with the KFC honey in them. That's weird to me. Fantastic. That's weird.

Do you pour it on top like gravy or you mix it in? You mix it in. That sounds good. You pour it on top, mix it in. It's fantastic. I would like that. KFC does not blow it they everything they do is fantastic i think again not good for you but it's all good i think

that the most resounding endorsement is kfc does not blow it they don't kfc fucking rules but yeah their honey i don't know why it just tastes better than other honey to me comparatively to other chicken spots no just you know, you know, in general. I'm sorry. I just, I do think KFC is bottom tier chicken. I would agree. The potatoes at KFC are really bad. Still love it.

But yeah, you put the honey in the mashed potatoes, mix it around, and it's fantastic. You really don't even need the gravy if you do that. If you have enough honey, it's great. Really? Yeah, you can keep the gravy out of there. I'm kind of okay to add sweet stuff to savory stuff, like, no matter what. Always.

Well, I'm like, I'm really savory. I'm not, I don't, I'm not. You are savory. Freaking unsavory, bro. Not a ton of sweets make their way in anymore. Honestly, it's like, mostly savory. I really, you know, Sour Patch Kids, it's like the sweetest i'll go like on occasion other than that it's like all savory i don't i don't fuck with like cakes or pies or anything so like

candy more than pastries we have a lot of problems i really don't like candy all that much these days and i you know i like pastries but i'm trying to not so you know anyway i'll go nuts at at like a fast food place though because it's all savory but yeah throw the throw the honey and mashed potatoes mix them in you don't even need gravy i just did it like a week ago place though, because it's all savory. But yeah, throw the, throw the honey and mashed potatoes, mix them in. You don't even need gravy. I just did it like a week ago because we found a KFC A&W. Your boy went nuts. Oh man. Shout out to KFC A&W.

Dude. So fantastic. Underrated. I think they're rated about where they should be. I don't trust your food ratings. I can't believe those other two. I thought they were weirder than that but i guess and with yeah you came out crazy you don't remember no i just thought um you know you say it now that you

say it but the fritos on an autos thing i really thought was weirder than it is but you're right there's chips on a sandwich i guess yeah i don't think mine are that crazy at all now that i'm looking i might have to retool some stuff i like this yeah let's fuck this shit up i want chaos that's all i ever want when I come on this podcast. True anarchy. You'll get some chaos. I got a couple towards the end that are just absurd. Do you think KFC's honey is actually honey?

I don't know, man. Or do you think there's some sick shit going on? No way. I don't know what it is. It's probably soda. It's just like soda with a different consistency. Bee extract. Bees? it is it's probably soda it's just like different like soda with a different consistency yeah extract uh damn it time for your second pick oh man this one's pretty gross but i've done it a lot of times

i'm going chicken ramen noodles and ranch dressing god that sounds disgusting dude with the With the, with the, oh. Are you talking about as soup? So you're fucking doing, that's like a shitty Alfredo is all that is. That's like a shittier version of what I did. What the fuck are you talking about? All you're doing is like, no, that's worse than what I did by far. It's pretty rough, but cheesy ramen is a thing.

That's not cheesy ramen. I think you're kind of reverse engineering cheesy ramen with that. That's not cheese. That's not cheesy ramen. I think you're kind of reverse engineering cheesy ramen with that. That's not cheese. That's ranch. It's ranch and noodles. Ranch is like soft cheese. David, is there broth in there? Or is it a dry ramen? Minimal. Oh, you're wet ranch?

You boil it with the ranch and then you pour out almost all, or you boil it with the packets. And then you pour out almost all, or you boil it with the packets, sorry. And then you pour out almost all of the byproduct until it's almost all the way gone and then you put some ranch in. And then you stir it up so it becomes like

effectively like a pasta salad. Yeah, it's like creamy. Oh, yeah, that got me for the, ugh. Oh, yeah. I bet it's good. I know I would eat it, but it makes me want to barf. It makes me want to barf, but I would for sure eat it. It grosses me out.

If you have it, it's like not even crazy. Ranch is like one of the only things I legit love, but also still grosses me out super hard. Yeah. If I saw someone pouring it into a cup of noodles, I think I would throw up. Oh, it's not. It's like just like a little bit, just like a squirt. I don't I don't have step with condiments, so I'd have to pour it when I try this and I will try this. I'll have to pour it.

You don't ever just put a little bit of a condiment on it. I do not. I do not. We'll get there. We'll cover it. But I do not. There's never a little bit of a condiment. I guess when I see you put hot sauce on shit, you do like drown it.

Yeah, yeah. You can barely see it. This draft is not for a Sunday morning. No, this is crazy stuff to talk about when we're supposed to be talking to God. Chicken ramen noodles and ranch, man. Mielle, time for your second and third picks. Jesus fucking Christ. second and third picks.

Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. I am going to say something that I don't know that I'll ever be forgiven for. And that's okay. I understand. I grew up being told this was like a normal combination. Like my whole family just eating away. It was like a routine dinner for us. And then as an adult did it a few times in front of roommates or partners and found out it was really gross um

but it is um steamed broccoli dipped in just straight mayonnaise i see i like mayo so i bet you i'll bet i'd like that. It's the whitest thing I've ever said in my life, and that's okay. I understand. That is some white shit, but I bet I'd like it, dude. I really do. I understand, David and Ian. You're silent. I get it.

I deserve it. I get it. It's not even just you. It's not even just you. It's just this whole thing is really fucking me up. Do you like mayo because that's key i've never had a draft that i thought was gonna like threaten to tear us apart but there are some lines being drawn right now and there's some people that i don't know if i'm gonna look

at the same when i wake up tomorrow i didn't think that this is what was gonna do that so that's maybe on me for not being prepared i told told you I wanted to be outraged. It's a hard day for sure. This is all nuts. It's all fucking nuts. In its defense, I agree it sounds disgusting. But when you think about like artichoke, like mayonnaise or aioli is like often what's served with it. And broccoli when steamed kind of is exactly the same.

Not kind of exactly the same. I feel like this whole draft is a lot of false equivalencies first of all it's so many everybody is just like yeah it's pretty much chicken ala no that's pretty much me doing that it's alfredo and tortillas that's what it is it's not like anything else than that weird thing that it is. It is what it is. We have those words. Who described it?

Yeah. Don't, don't, don't. I don't know what's going on. I'm with you, Emil. I think it sounds good. I like mayonnaise on a sandwich. I'm a little worried that you're with me. That makes me think I did a really bad thing.

Yeah. Welcome to hell. But I will say, try it. If you can stomach the idea Try it And then let me know If you still think it's gross We either like mayo

Or you don't And that's the big kicker on this I really don't like mayo No no no no no no no no no I like mayonnaise Yeah I like it on sandwiches too Vegenaise is real I think Vegenaise is better

Than mayonnaise honestly I'll buy that It feels less gross I could eat a spoon of mayo And I would love it I could just That's a little could eat a spoon of mayo and I would love it. I could just dip a spoon in there, take a whole spoon and love it. So I guess that's the kind of love you need for like mayonnaise to like something like Well, that makes sense because mayonnaise is basically Alfredo sauce.

Yeah. Well, they're both white. They're both wet. Yeah, absolutely. How is this? You first said, whatever. This is the opposite of the au jus conversation. Oh, you mean roast beef coffee?

Hot, brown, and wet. Mayonnaise, cold, wet, white. We're saying a lot of crazy combinations of words right now. This whole, I'm fucking, I'm fucked up. I love it, dude. I'm fucked. I came in peach drunk. I'm thrilled.

This is fantastic. Okay, my next pick. Marissa, any feelings? I've been laughing so hard, my face has just been red this entire episode. Great. All right, that's good. This is crazy. I can't believe I allowed Miel to come in here and cause this chaos on the show.

Every time I come. She's brought chaos to our home, and now she's going to leave, and we're going to have to fix it. You know what it is? It's because I go so hard on everyone else's picks, and then when I go, I say the most outrageous things. Because you're equally a psychopath. I will work Hormel Chili into this draft. You're a one-part chaos agent, but you also embrace the chaos. Right.

That's what I'm saying. It's like you can't be both. I'm causing this destruction from the inside. Oh, you can't fight the wind she's in the house now okay my next pick i think i want to continue on my strategy of just saying the thing that's gonna make everyone the most mad i don't think i even want to go with like my top five anymore it's not even mad it's just disappointed perfect okay i'm gonna say pineapple and onion oh that sounds that sounds i don't even know what's happening now wait a minute i don't know what's happening on a pizza that sounds wretched to me though but are you talking pineapple and onion with nothing else nope i'm talking about

on pizzas on kebabs on sandwiches i'm talking about as a combination of flavors pineapple and onion i fuck with so hard i'm big that makes more sense to me than like just putting a piece of pineapple on the onion but even then though like how far can we take this flavor combo like honestly i would probably fuck with like a caramelized onion pineapple muffin i probably would like that i think they really complement each other even about a smoothie no no but that's liquid that's nothing i want i don't know the questions to ask guys that's why i'm just pineapple onion dip might be good like if you caramelized onions yeah or like a pineapple salsa i feel like really what's doing the heavy lifting there is the onion and the pineapple yeah yeah stunned and i don't know i just hate onions i hate i know i was trying to like articulate i just hate onions that's what it

boils down to so i'm biased because i'll be grossed out with anything onion you could say onion and whatever and i'm like that sounds disgusting to me i think i would need the pineapple to be uh or the onion rather to, to be caramelized and not, like, cooked by acid the way a salsa is, you know? What about, like, raw red onion? I don't know. And pineapple? Yeah, because if it was, like, a taco and there was pineapple in it and then raw red onion on top, I think it would really work. But then there's a lot of other flavors in there tangoing around, you know?

Yeah, I feel like it's not fair to just be like like a salsa because there's a lot of other people doing lifting i can pick a different one i can pick a different one no but if i eat a kebab and like it's a pineapple and onion and that's the whole bite i'm still enjoying that bite that's my favorite bite on the kebab that's the one i seek yeah and i will say if i can't eat a whole pizza but i want all the toppings off that pizza i will pick off the pineapple and the onion and eat those together alone off pizza so i do think they maybe taste really good together is what we're discovering i think officially weird but i'm absolutely co-signing it yeah i think that everybody has their own set of taste buds man i think we're radicalizing david right

now no because i'm not like being like, I want to do that. No, like you're going to join ISIS after this podcast taping because we're fucking with your sense of reality so aggressively. Oh, man. I'm going to fucking. David, you wouldn't eat like a like a caramelized onion and a pineapple. You don't think they'd be good together? I don't love like I don't really love pineapple salsa or mango salsa. So I don't like mango salsa either.

I don't love sweet. I mean, yeah, I try it. I don't love even putting pineapple on sandwiches. I eat plain pineapple when I eat pineapple, you know? Yeah. I just get the chunks from Ralph's. Where do you come down on pineapple on pizza? Oh, I don't like it.

Love it. Okay, I like it. I love it. I don't like it at all. I didn't used to. So I used to pick the pineapple off because I didn't like the bite combined. But now I'm in. I'll bite it.

I'll eat it with the rest of the pizza. I always like the warm pineapple. If you have any excuse to add sweet to a savory thing, I'm so in it. Give it to me. Mars, are you a pineapple pizza person? Pineapple pizza person. Pineapple pizza person. Pineapple pizza person.

It's not my first choice, but I can't eat it. Okay, cool. You roll the punches. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right right damn it time for your third pick mine's so simple i'm just uh boiled potatoes and jam i've never even heard that when i went to norway when i was a kid they put lingonberry on potatoes and then we came home and then one time there was put jam and put i just did it and then it's yeah it's good i think the thesis of that is the same as the mashed potato and honey i think potato and sugar is good together and the friend and the french fry that is pretty similar that is the same thing we can change it it strikes me i'm just i'm seeing a pattern the potatoes the

french fry the milkshake the mashed mashed potatoes, the honey, the potato and the jam. Like, potatoes and sugar are good as fuck together. Yeah, maybe that's just, that feels like simple, though. That feels like. Dude, zeitgeist four right here. I mean, I'm not trying to talk myself out of my pick. How do you do it?

I do want to say, David, that it sincerely sounds like there is no wind in your sails right now. Like, these picks have. You're just like, I'll pick something else. I just, just picks it genuinely really like it like kind of chopped you down i didn't i don't know i just if things feel bleak right now can i ask do you do you like i didn't see that coming for sure we had the we had the group text this morning it was so fun i was like really excited about this and now i'm just like fuck man you know even if you love your job some days are hard

it's a hard time to lose friends yeah it's like where am i gonna make new ones jordan didn't want a hoop every day some days he was just you know he put in maximum effort but it wasn't always out of you know sometimes the love's not there the joie de vivre absolutely i want to visualize the way you eat this. Do you boil the potatoes whole and then like smash them and cover them in jam? Do you dunk it in jam? Not even smash them. Just like get a little dollop of jam, throw it over the top of, you know, quarter them or whatever, boil them.

And just on a fork. Yeah. Really? I think that would taste really good. With a little salt, like I hit a little sea salt on there. Yeah, it's pretty good. I mean, I feel like it is very similar to my other pick. good it's a little salt like i hit a little sea salt on there yeah it's pretty good it's i mean i i feel like it is very similar to my other pick but like i said i don't know what's happening

right now is that a pretty common thing in norway like in nordic countries as to like is the i don't know maybe it might just be my stepdad i don't really know you ever get the uh lingonberry jam from ikea yeah well we used to get it straight from the source damn yeah you had a lingonberry plant huh i had to connect i had a lingonberry plug i'm gonna bum you out so hard with this next one i don't know if you are i don't anything could happen now. Yeah, this is... It's in front of your third offering. This came from something that I did one time

and I wasn't thrilled about it, but I tried it on some other stuff and I landed on something that I enjoy, which is a banquet pot pie, the microwave one, with soy sauce on it. Yeah, I'll count that for sure. Yes.

It's really good. Yeah, it doesn't sound great. How much soy sauce? it. Yeah, I'll count that for sure. Yes. It's really good. Yeah, it doesn't sound great. How much soy sauce? Quite a bit. More than you would probably want to use. He doesn't half-step on condiments. I don't. And I'm saying that,

I'll fully admit that. Like, when I get done with this, I'll be brutally honest. I'm not gonna, I'll lick the plate. I'll get it all up like i just because i love the flavor combination so much they're both so savory and salty like i think what we're finding out about me and that we already knew is that i love salty things but you also have

use a lot of leftover packets for yeah dude i was the one who would like if we'd order taco bell or something there'd be the bags and i would rummage through them like a raccoon and just grab the packets that weren't open yet and put them in the fridge. Yeah. I'm like, I'll need them at some point. I want to use those. We're thrifty. We're thrifty motherfuckers.

Reduce, reuse, recycle. Hell yeah. I need to ask you, are you concerned about your sodium intake or just no? Well, so I went to the doctor not that long ago to get a what they call a general checkup if you will guess what he told me guess what he told me he said sean i'm not thrilled about your cholesterol that's what he said he said he goes everything looks good i wanted to get my liver checked out because i was worried about the drinking as i do indulge and he said your liver looks great. Nothing's wrong.

And then he sat back. He goes, I'm not thrilled about your cholesterol. Is cholesterol like the sodium intake affect your cholesterol? I won't pretend to know things that I don't. I don't think so. I think sodium is like I could be totally wrong about that. I could be totally wrong about that. Yeah.

Sodium is like salt stuff. But whatever. I'm pretty sure a pot pie already is like at least 200% of your daily sodium intake. Like a quarter teaspoon of soy sauce is like 100% of your sodium intake. I bet you I put on like a third of a cup on one of those.

Oh my god, Sean. Is it soggy? Sometimes. No, it says it does. Sodium is blood pressure. My blood pressure is perfect when i go it's like whatever it's exactly what it's supposed to be like 120 i'm sorry did you say you put a third of a cup of soy sauce he puts so much soy sauce and he has to eat out of a bowl that is in a soy much so sauce so much so sauce marissa grabbed her heart you guys didn't see it but it hurts it hurts she's like seizing up soy sauce is itissa grabbed her heart. You guys didn't see it, but I like her heart. It hurts.

She's like seizing up. That's too much soy sauce. Is it the pastry with the soy sauce that you like or is it the filling? It's, I mean, you know what a banquet microwave,

it's just a little guy. So you just put it, it's kind of like a stew with soy sauce in it is what it ends up being. You just love that umami, my guy. You know what soy sauce

translates to? What? I am sauce. That was the failed direct-to-DVD I Am Legend follow-up. Soy legend. I am also sauce. That was the working title for Alex Mack.

Are we doing four picks? We're doing four, right? I think we have time for a four and a lightning round fifth one. We're actually not doing so bad. As long as we go now to my- David, I'm starting to come around to what you were saying before. Sorry. Oh, yeah.

It's just a lot to take in is all. Yeah. It's going to be quiet after this for a while. Yeah, I'm going to just look pensively out my window as soon as this is over. Yeah. Tell me if this qualifies as strange because I'm not 100% sure it does, but I think it kind of does. Scallops and Kiwi. No.

What's a scallop? I mean, that's a sassy detective combo. That's like a very kooky ceviche. Kooky ceviche. After a rerun of Rizzoli and Isles at midnight you get scallops and kiwi that's the role that sean got where he finally got to figure out his new zealand accent the buddy cop comedy we deserve but don't want there is a restaurant called hunan pearl in portland oregon and it's my family's like

restaurant called Hunan Pearl in Portland Oregon and it's my family's like favorite family style Chinese food restaurant in Portland and they have a dish that is kiwi scallops and it's like cooked scallops in a cream sauce with kiwis and it is so fucking good it's so fucking good it's delicious like that my family fights over it we'll have to we have to get like two plates of it you know what i mean because like you'll get to that point where like even though like we're in our 30s now i'll be like elisa had two of them you have an emmy at home i don't care i don't give a care i want that one i wanted that one because it's fair What's the preparation on the kiwi like? It's also cooked.

It's cooked in the sauce? In the sauce, yeah. I think the kiwi is cooked in the sauce. So the kiwi is like cooked in a little bit. It's like a chunky white sauce over scallops. A chunky kiwi. Yeah, well, yeah, it's a creamy, chunky white sauce and with scallops and kiwi. This one's interesting.

I'm getting less on board with this one as you keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting more on board with it. I don't need anyone else to like it once you taste it it's fucking great because it's it's there's the tang there's the tang from the kiwi and then there's this like cream sauce that also has some of the tang in it but it's like a little smoother and then the scallop which is just this like beautiful protein can i ask how you first ever ordered it we just started getting it i have to imagine we just started getting it.

I understand that part of it. The question is how? You said it just like that. We just started getting it. I don't even know. It's not like too different from a very... I'm going to say this because it's a very popular dish, but like a honey walnut shrimp.

It's just like a little bit... A kiwi cream scallop feels really different than a honey walnut shrimp. What it's a lot of it's it's just like a little bit cream scallop feels really different than a honey walnut shrimp for me it's not what are we saying what are we even fucking saying anymore this is what happens after 200 episodes we just start rambling i don't know what's happening this is insane i told you i wanted to talk about something abstract david that's what you did no it worked it worked that shit worked that shit worked oh so that's my that's my fourth uh okay third pick that's my third pick to answer your's my third pick. To answer your question, I have to imagine my older sister ordered it first

and then we all got on board. Some brave soul was like you know what? We're going to try the scallops and kiwi and cream. My little sister has a very, I'm not going to say unrefined, but she's a very cautious palate at first and even she likes it. It's got to be good. I'm going to take that

and now let me know if this works at all okay i don't know if it says it's not as like bizarre or shocking as it just is kind of strange and it may not qualify what are you about to say it's not even that weird well i don't let's hear one thing i really love to do is to get a big mouthful like a big mouthful of saltines uh-huh and then take a big swig of water and then just sort of slosh that around in my mouth that's disgusting to me no i'm with you dude wet wet crackers is a fun thing to swallow. I mean, yeah, it counts, but that's so gross to me. We can count that? Okay, cool. Wet saltines?

Wet saltines. Oh, that sounds disgusting, man. Oh, it's happening. That sounds good as hell. I like saltines. I don't know what anything tastes like, apparently. I don't know what anything tastes like. I just love it. It activates, I don't know, it makes the, it gives the saltines

a second life. Like you get that first saltine flavor and then you take the big swig of water and it's like born again in your mouth. And it's like. Can I take a stab here and guess that maybe you first realized you like that combination maybe around the age of 11 or 12 trying the saltine challenge and failing. It was probably something like that. Yeah. What is the saltine challenge? Oh, eat six saltines in a minute.

Do you have any saltines at your house? No, I don't have. You know, I don't have any saltines at my house. Sorry, Miel. Go ahead. What is the saltine challenge? Oh, eat six saltines in a minute with no water. Do you have any saltines at your house? No, I don't have any saltines at my house. Sorry, Mielle. Go ahead. What is it? Oh, you have to eat six saltines in one minute with no water. It doesn't sound that hard. Yeah, but you can't swallow.

It's just powder. Every time you try to chew. I think my buddy Joey and Adam, I think, could do it. Because they would like, Joey would sit and practice. He would like do it like a typewriter, a chipmunk or something just like a wood chipper. He'd go one at a time because I feel like the people I saw successfully do it ate all six at once. Joey'd go one at a time and he would almost I think he would almost time himself, like

map it out to where it was like eight seconds per cracker or something. Yeah. You could do it. I don't know. But like equally, Ian, I feel like putting a Ritz in your mouth and then just letting like letting it sit in your mouth until your mouth is kind of so full of spit that it's like mush. I love that, too.

It tastes so good. I love that. Yeah, I'm with you. It's gross, but I'm with you. I don't like soggy stuff. I don't like soggy things. The combination is wet crackers and mouth. Wet crackers and mouth.

I love one of my favorite food. That sounds like a candle game. Yeah, we were playing candle games. Wet crackers and mouth to Chris in the new house, dude. Oh, my God. It's a total candle game. I don't think I've ever admitted most of these things to literally a soul. This is so intimate.

I don't really get you. I don't really do most of this stuff when anyone's around. This next one. Yeah, I don't. Well, Sean, it's your around. OK, so time to pick. OK, let me know. I don't see why this wouldn't count.

But this is something that I don't I don't know if any of you have ever seen me do, but I really enjoy it. It is just a can of a can of corn. And then I stir mustard into it. Oh, wow. If any of you've ever seen me do, but I really enjoy it, is just a can of corn. And then I stir mustard into it. Oh, wow. It's really good. It's not. So this is not like an insane amount. That just made me have like a pre-barf burp.

Like that physically forced that. That is so wild. This isn't like an insane amount of mustard. So what it is, it's like a spoon probably. And then I'll put pepper on it too. It's really good because it gives the corn a bite. Listen, I'm going to jump in here on behalf of everyone and say that it's not the flavor

combo. Nobody can speak for everyone in this draft. I'm speaking for everyone in the world, not just this draft. It's not the flavor combo that sounds that upsetting. It's the visual of squirting mustard into a can of corn that's is it cream oh no you don't know you no it's not cream corn it could be that'd be fine you don't put it in the can obviously you put in a bowl you microwave it and then no that's making

it worse that's making it worse why do all your meals sound like somebody needed to check on you when you were alone as a kid it's not a meal this is like all your foods sound like no babysitter. I'm sad to say, but David's correct. It was hard when I was eating all these food because the key from my neck would always dip into the bowl, you see. I understand completely. I understand as a former latchkey kid myself. I get it.

I wasn't a latchkey kid at all. No, you carried your key in your pocket. You were unsupervised. You were an unsupervised feral child of South Dakota. I was broke, man. That's all there was to it. We were broke. So yeah.

Yeah, ramen is like 15 cents just for the whole thing. You know, when I was a kid, we never ate ramen. We never ate ramen. Really? When I was a kid. I didn't start eating that until I was like in college. I think part of it is like the broke thing for sure. But I think a large part of it also is a child trying to invent meals that for some reason

you still eat as an adult. That's the part that's like, because I did that too. I was like, oh, I can dunk a hot dog in maple syrup. That's lunch. Like I was unsupervised a lot as a kid. But like, I don't swear by it in my adult years. I do. I haven't, I haven't wrapped my mind around that.

And I, I don't know if I ever will. I just did with like forties. Well, but like, I just did this with forties. Like I, I would drink forties all the time,

like a 40 of old English and I'll still do it. But I was like, you don't have to drink that. I can get like some beers that won't, you know, that. So why is he on your cider game now you're like you know you're drinking like yeah but like hey if you like a 40 like a 40 there's nothing wrong with

that it's just i think it always catches me off guard when you mention the food things because i'm like you microwave a bowl of canned corn yeah and then you throw mustard on it and you're like lunch is served that's the last of the pantry for sure here's a question that that sounds like i think i know the answer to. And I'm not even sure I want it confirmed. But yellow mustard? Yeah, yeah, yellow mustard. Like yellow ass, Heinz ass mustard.

It's got to taste good. I mean, like a honey mustard corn nut is awesome. The only thing yellower than the corn is the yellow mustard I'm putting in there. Maybe that's my issue is sometimes I don't like mixing color on color like that yeah i could see that shawnee's an exclusively monochromatic diet as evidenced by the oju coffee comparison what do you call it yesterday what the call what do you call it the colors the swirl is that what you called it the swirl yeah you mean interracial dating i've never heard it though i've never heard that called the connection. That's another wild connection he just made.

Do we think that maybe that's how you invented these foods to begin with in the child's mind? You were like, yellow goes with yellow. I doubt it. It must be. It must be. No, I just like mustard and corn. Cheddar cheese on a school bus. I just like butter.

If I like them both, I'll love them together. Orange slices on a traffic cone. I don't need to go to school to figure this out. If I like one thing and I like that thing, I'm going to love them if they're together. So great. David, time for your fourth pick. Let's put them in a movie together. I love that.

It's like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Sean, please never change. David, time for your fourth pick. My mom used to make this. Mr. Jordan, Miss Brado, thank you. I don't even know if this is real anymore. My mom used to make this thing that had Jell-O and sour cream in it. That's like a crazy ambrosia.

I feel like that makes sense. Then it was cold. Well, sour cream is like a weird substitute for yogurt or vice versa. Or like Mars Capone. Yeah. I could see, because Jell-O and yogurt kind of go together. Listen, you don't have to convince of go together. So I could listen. You don't have to convince me of it.

I have shell shock. Don't worry about me now. I feel like you just made like a creamy, fruity pudding. Like, that sounds good. Yeah, I liked the taste of it. Yeah, probably. Oh, I'm using this tone of voice. I don't even know how I feel.

I'm having a hard time articulating. Yeah, I'm not upset at my pick i think it's really delicious i would like you guys to try it i don't know this really knocked you for six david it's not good no this wasn't i wasn't ready for it yeah and that's on me bro that's all right i love it that's on fucking me man you're among friends though too you know what i mean so like am i or am i among dissidents i don't know because if you told me about that fucking Alfredo tortilla thing, I would say put him in a van and disappear him. David, that was the first one Sean said.

The first one threw you that badly. Yeah, but that's when the whole tanner changed. That's when the whole thing changed. Come down here with the rest of us, David. Come down here with the rest of us. I've seen you fucking eat, my friend. Don't throw it in my face like that. I'm not.

That's a trick. You would like it. I would. I also think you don't have a great idea of what I would like and not like. I don't think you do. I really don't. Fellas, fellas, fellas. You'll be like, hey, man, what do you think of this?

And I'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? And you're like, I can't watch two of my three dads fighting like this. It hurts. You also, we were like, watching rap music videos

and then you like, put an ICP song on and you were like, see, this is pretty good. This is that. Yeah, this is that.

And I was like, this is that. No, this is like, objectively bad. And you're like, well, but they're good. And I'm like, no. I just like objectively bad. And you're like, well, but they're good.

And I'm like, no. I just have no argument. I'm like, well, I understand you think it's bad, but it's good. You also couldn't say why it was good. You just kept saying, see, it's good. It's because I like it. I get it. I get it.

I also come from a place where my preferences tend to be the odd man out often. And at some point you just have to accept, okay, this is me. I get it. White flour tortilla, white Alfredo, white Sean, white ICP. It's good. Yellow corn, yellow mustard. He's a segregationist. Like he said, American cheddar, school bus.

This is slam poetry now. now oh what is happening i love it sour cream i've never been able to get on board sour cream as like a to go with sweets but i know a lot of people do but for some reason i have that block in my head i think it's because sour cream is not a fair name that should have i don't think it is a sour in there for sure i still think this episode is cursed i love it i say we throw it to the bottom of the ocean no way miel time for your uh fourth pick and then your final pick your final pick would you you'll just throw out and we'll move on from oh we don't even get to you oh all right you Yep. But your fourth pick we will talk about. Okay, my fourth one then I will say a safe one, and that is black pepper on ketchup. Yeah.

I don't know if that counts. It's not weird enough? I don't think we can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's totally normal. Okay, good. I just want to make sure everyone knows that's really good. I will then say maple syrup and tofu.

I don't think I like tofu surprise surprise i don't think i'm a tofu really that's crazy you don't like something that was grown and canned in south dakota that's wild maple syrup and tofu yeah it's good. I can see that. Like with baked tofu. Baked tofu, like dipped in some maple syrup is real fucking good. And yes, Sean, that is my like hippie ass, in the woods ass version of your corn and mustard. That absolutely is me. It is not. I'm thinking about another false equivalency. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I arrived. That is not the same thing as that. It is not? It is not the same thing as that. May I clarify? In the way that we arrived at these dishes, it is very much a child in the pantry going, I don't know, boop, boop, boop, sure.

I think it's the same in that it's two foods. I think maybe that has been the central theme of this whole podcast. So the tofu has to be baked. You're not talking about like a wet wobbler. No, I like a slice of, no, no, no, a slice of raw tofu with some maple syrup too. Also, I has to be baked. You're not talking about like a wet wobbler. I like a slice of, no, no, a slice of raw tofu with some maple syrup too. Also I would extend the universe. Let's blow out, bring

in another character. It is a veggie hot dog with maple syrup. Yeah. It's good. That's you, yeah? Yeah. I bet that would be good. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I do like a brown and served sausage with maple syrup. It's kind of the same, I feel like.

You know? Yeah, I'd like that. I don't think a veggie sausage tastes like a brown and served sausage. You're right, though. I've never had a veggie sausage. I've had veggie burgers, but I don't know if the sausage is the same. There's some good veggie sausages. You don't know until you try.

There's a lot of sodium in that shit, too. Okay, and Miel, and your final lightning round pick? Okay, popcorn and ketchup. Oh, wow. I don't know. I don't know, even. Sorry, I was told this was a lightning round, and there'd be no discussion of this pick,

which is why I said that. Okay, David, your final pick? I don't... Kalamata olives and almonds, but I think that's a combo. I just started doing it the other day because I had those left. That's a combo. They even bag them together. Really?

Yeah, you can get them in one bag. Soaking wet olives with some soggy almonds. Oh, it's so good. I put the almond in the olive. I like that. They're great together. Yeah, it's like a good little snack. Do they sell olives

stuffed with almonds do well okay then i don't mind all my other ones are super weird i have yes good wild turkey and ramen broth yeah that's just a soup oh wait what's wild turkey it's whiskey oh okay sorry i assumed you meant like an actual wild turkey. So that's my mistake. Oh, no. I meant loudmouth soup. Now that, David, that is something that I think both of us would love to try sometime. I mean, I know you've tried. I've never tried it.

I would like you to make a batch of that at some point. Would you love it if it didn't have whiskey? No. If it was just rum? Then we're just talking about coffee pretty much. You mean you like to drink with me? That I understand. Yeah, I think that that's maybe what that was.

Hell, I wanted to. Once I get on this gout medication, sign me up. Sean, your final pick? I'm going to have microwaves involved. Surprise, surprise. Microwave chicken nuggets from Tyson and my mother's egg salad. I love them together. Oh, that's unholy. Chicken and the

egg together. That's fucked up in every religion that sends you straight to house. You get you cut that like get that nog on a fork and then get like half of like half a fork full of egg salad on there. Oh, it's fantastic. Oh boy. Chicken in the egg salad. What came first? Chicken or the egg salad?

Yeah. Oh boy. No comment. My final pick. It's another fruit cheese watermelon and feta i don't feel like that's weird that's a really standard salad like it is a pretty standard salad yeah that's a salad at like every like gastropub in america fuck i don't know what weird is i don't either i have no idea the rest of my list is weird i really can't call it olive oil oil on vanilla ice cream? That's so weird. Yeah, it counts. It counts. Yeah, it's delicious.

It is really good. Yeah, I love an olive oil cake. Here's the part where everyone's going to barf, is the recap. No. All right. Also, wait, can I just throw in there, croutons on ice cream with olive oil.

Fuck that shit. Oh, interesting. Marissa, do you have one? It's not super odd, but I really like dipping French fries into mayonnaise. That's just like Canadian. It is good. And French.

The French and the Belgian do it as well. Just mayo though, huh? No ketchup? Like just fries and mayo? Ideally mayo, but if you mix mayo and ketchup, that's good too. There you go. I like the finger in there.

I love mayonnaise. Kid listy also. To recap, Miel, you went first, and you took cheese and apples. And then you wouldn't let me take watermelon and feta, even though cheese and apples. No one contested me. No one contested me. All right, all right, all right. Cheese and apple.

Steamed broccoli dipped in mayonnaise. Pineapple and onions together. Maple syrup and tofu, and then popcorn and ketchup david you went second you took ice cream and french fries chicken ramen noodles and ranch dressing boiled potatoes and jam jello and sour cream and then wild turkey and ramen broth tire dropped is so unappealing Sean you went third and you took a rolled up tortilla dipped in the cold Alfredo

ragu KFC mashed potatoes mixed up with KFC honey pot pie doused in a third of a cup of soy sauce a can of corn with yellow Heinz mustard sprayed into it, and then microwaved chicken nuggets with your mother's egg salad.

I went last and I took peanut butter and- Marissa's fully covering her ears. I can't listen to this. This is like torture to listen to. I went last and I took peanut butter and dill pickles, hot sauce and coffee, scallops and kiwi, saltines and mouth.

And then olive oil on vanilla ice cream. We left some stuff on the board. That was a masterpiece. We don't want to hear yours. That was a masterpiece. I do want to hear yours. David, you're out of your mind. I'm going on the board. That was a masterpiece. We don't want to hear yours. That was a masterpiece. I do want to hear yours. David, you're out of your mind. I'm going on a walk.

We left some stuff on the board. Coca-Cola and red wine, although that's pretty common in like Spain and Italy. That's a great, yeah. My rogue pick that once we went so hard, I was like, I can't do this one, was edibles and bullshit. I like bologna and barbecue sauce. Bologna boats microwave a piece of bologna and fill it with barbecue sauce. Have you ever taken those sweet chili Doritos and put those on a PBJ?

Oh, I can see that being good. That sounds great. It doesn't seem crazy enough to be like that wild, but it is kind of wild in your mouth in a good way. Wild in your mouth. Well, we want to hear yours, everyone. Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, All Fantasy Podcast at gmail.com.

If you send us your submissions, make sure you tag the G is silent on there. I will be tweeting out his phone number because he's not on Twitter that much. You can text your pics directly to David. I just want you guys to know that Marissa is leaning back completely away from the microphone,

arms crossed, head shaking. That's what we've done today. This was bad. That recap was so hard to listen to, I had to take off my headphones. It was hard for me, too, and this was my own creation, so thanks, y'all. Are you happy? Are you not entertained,

Mielle? I'm happy. We want to thank everyone for listening to the All Fantasy Everything podcast. This is probably our last one. Thanks for rolling with us. It's been a fun four years. This was your first time? I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit.

Shout out to everyone on the All Fantasy Everything Patreon. Thank you for holding us down. We sincerely appreciate it. We appreciate all of you. We know there's a lot of ways you can spend your money. We thank you for rocking with this crew every single second. We're grateful to you. Shout out to St. Sue Carmel. Shout out

to... What else? Shout out to Middleman Skateboards. They sent me a board for the wall. It's a graphic of the Giving Tree, but a skateboard's a graphic of the giving tree but a skateboard's fallen out of it instead it's that old show silverstein book they're fantastic check them out on instagram i got boards on the wall i'm stoked do they listen to the podcast yeah send us some shit too hey give me something i want it all right i went to the middleman jewish community center for preschool and kindergarten

you think I don't want to skateboard give David something too yeah man I mean you already got my PO box so just send them all to me I'll make sure they get them you know what I mean yeah right shout out to Frankie Ocean shout out to Sid the dude

shout out to Haji Beats shout out to fucking everything bagels why to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to fucking Everything Bagels. Why do they cost the same as regular bagels? I'd like to know the answer to that. No one's ever going to figure it out, man. Someone should do a bit about it. We'll get there. Shout out to Cashew Based Cheeses.

Shout out to Cheese Based Cashews. Shout out to Cashew Based Jesus. And more important than all of that tune in again next week for another brand new episode of all fantasy everything clackety okay let's do one quick clap

three two one oh oh my god Oh, my God. That was awesome. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That was a HeadGum Podcast.